#but in cutscenes he takes a little stroll on over to kill like it’s his morning walk

[unnerving-presence]

not my nemmy obsession folding me into a chair bc i’m playing re3r

[antiques-for-geeks]

Game Review: Beyond the Forbidden Forest

Cosmi / 1985 / C64

‘An archer took a stroll through the deep dark wood…’

With one eye firmly on Halloween, we’re going to review some games that used to make us breathe heavily, grasping our joysticks tightly in our sweaty palms…

Beyond the Forbidden Forest starts dramatically with flashes of lightning against a starlit sky. With every flash comes a crack of thunder from the C64’s SID sound chip, before the title of the game is revealed against the darkness. It’s obvious even at this point that the game's author, Paul Norman, was aiming for something much more cinematic than the average computer game of the era.

You start, alone, in an overgrown forest. You are an archer, sent to slay the dreaded Demogorgon, who legend says can only be killed by a golden arrow to the heart.

Your character occupies the middle of the screen. You can walk through the forest to the left and to the right. You can also walk into and out of the scene. Sometimes trees or bushes can obscure your view. There’s a primitive parallax scrolling effect so that the trees in the foreground move more quickly than those in the background, which could charitably be described as decent for the time.

There’s nowhere to actually ‘go’ in this game, and the forest isn’t there to be explored. You’re not really alone, you see. This forest is actually the scene of a desperate fight for survival.

The first creature you encounter is the scorpion. The scorpion will enter from the side of the screen and will rush straight at you. Like all this game's enemies, he gets his own special musical theme that plays during the encounter. This is where you run away! If he reaches your archer he’ll messily jab your organs out with his stinger, to the accompaniment of a kind of musical shrieking noise generated by the SID. Imagine something like a primitive version of the score that plays in Alfred Hitchcock's ‘Psycho’ when Janet Leigh gets stabbed in the shower. This game doesn’t pull any punches for its death scenes, that’s for sure.

It’s behind you!

Luckily your archer can defend himself with his bow. Hold down the fire button and you’ll stand in place, aiming around the scene. A grey indicator bar moves up and down showing the elevation of your shot. Simply let the fire button go again to let loose an arrow. As you might imagine, it’s hard to keep away from a scorpion who is intent on perforating your innards while also stopping to pepper it with arrows, but this retreat, aim and fire mechanic is all a part of the game’s charm.

Plug the scorpion a few times and you get presented with a golden arrow, which appears from a spinning orb after an overly long fanfare plays. These golden arrows are important; you need to collect at least 4 to progress to the next stage of the adventure, and they also act as your ‘lives’. Every time the archer is killed you lose half of the stash of golden arrows, until the game is over. You will get very tired of hearing the victory fanfare, I assure you.

The next foe you meet is a massive worm, who rises out of the ground at various places in the foreground and background. Let him rise too many times without hitting him and he’ll swallow you whole, reappearing to regurgitate the bow, along with a healthy fountain of archer blood.

After that is a giant mosquito, who darts around the sky. He only takes one hit, but is tricky to get a bead on. He’ll drink your juices like a milkshake if he gets a chance, leaving only a crumpled heap on the forest floor.

Last up is… some kind of demonic frog / crocodile thing… who’ll jump about unpredictably and will mash your body like a pub piano at closing time.

He’s hungry for your offal.

One nice touch is the way that the game shows the passage of time in the forest. The sun sets, and eventually night comes, with the colours of the trees and sky changing appropriately. The day to night cycle welded to the ability to move in and out of the scenery prompted Cosmi to market this game as having ‘OmniDimension 4D`. This was sadly typical of the shameless bullshit marketing departments would churn out in the 80’s.

Once these 4 different foes are defeated, it’s back to the scorpion again, in an effort to gather enough golden arrows for an assault on the caverns, which lie... beyond the forbidden forest. See? Although 4 arrows are technically enough to progress, you’ll want more than that to have a realistic shot at what comes next. To progress to the caverns, you have to to pause the game with F1 and then press F3. If you don’t do this the forest encounters repeat until you die or your patience runs out.

Once within the caverns you face off against 3 final foes.

The Bats: A group of bats flutter around the cave. One of them is a golden colour, and that’s the one you need to shoot. You only need one hit, but it’s flight is fast and unpredictable.

The Hydra: This four headed monstrosity fills the entire screen! Each head can shoot fire, and you’ve got to dodge about to land a hit on each one. Succeed and he’ll stop moving and turn to stone.

The Demogorgon: Squatting over a pit, this massive beast follows your movements with his head, shooting deadly bolts from his eyes that will disintegrate you instantly. Shoot him in his glowing heart to win the game and free the land from his evil!

I appear to have misplaced my skin.

Beyond the Forbidden Forest surely must be the most ‘‘Commodore 64ish’ game of all time.

Chunky blocky graphics? Very. Lots of muddy browns and muted greens? None muddier. Bone rattling soundtrack courtesy of the SID chip. All present here.

It was also creepy, atmospheric, and with all the sudden and violent deaths, really quite nasty… for a computer game of the 80’s at least.

Trivia

This is the sequel to ‘Forbidden Forest’, which is probably a bit better known and generally held in slightly higher regard (even by the game’s author). There was a third game in the series released in 2003 for Windows PC. It’s a third person 3D effort, which sadly looks pretty generic and uninteresting. There aren’t even any gory death scenes!

Playing it today

Only released on the C64, and copies are getting rarer. Easily emulated, but bear in mind that the function keys are important on this one.

Commentariat

Meat: This game could be the poster child for anyone who considers C64 graphics to be dull and unappealing, but behind the ugly front there’s a lot to admire here. The ‘gore’ is also hilarious! With the notable exception of the head chopping in Palace Software’s ‘Barbarian’, games of the era were very timid in their depictions of graphic violence. I guess this is about as close as we were going to get to a survival horror game in the 80’s...

Pop: I got this one on a magazine cover tape, and was immediately hooked on its strange atmosphere, shocks and gory death scenes. I was a latecomer to the C64, and by that point these graphics really looked like a dog’s dinner. Despite that I still found myself playing this game quite a bit. Aiming the bow at enemies in the foreground and background feels a little tricky initially, but it can be mastered. My main issue now is how long the player resurrection and golden arrow presentation scenes take. Skipping repetitive cutscenes was a luxury you were so rarely afforded in those days.

Sadly I never went ‘beyond’ the forest, because I didn’t have a clue that the keyboard was required to progress to the next stage of the game.

Score card

Presentation 8/10

Starting with the fantastic cinematic introduction screen, this is a game that goes the extra mile to involve the player in its world. There’s even a proper ending sequence with its own musical theme. The various versions of box artwork are all, however, distinctly amateurish.

Originality 8/10

Made before all games started to look and feel the same, this is obviously the work of a single individual. It doesn’t look, sound or play like any other game of the time… except perhaps for its own prequel.

Graphics 6/10

Undeniably ugly, blocky, untidy and muddy. Also somehow atmospheric and appealing. The screen filling hydra is a pretty impressive piece of work for the time. Gets an extra point for splashing the pixelated claret about.

Hookability 7/10

From the first moment the scorpion scuttles over and messes you up with its stabber you’ll either want to see what other horrible fates await you in the forest… or switch the computer off in disgust.

Sound 9/10

A series of memorable tunes, played by the C64’s SID chip in the style of a demented horror film organ. Though it’s somewhat crude, few soundtracks at the time were better suited to the on-screen action.

Lastability 7/10

It takes some time to get used to hitting the different foes with your arrows, but there are ultimately only 7 different types of enemy to face in this game. Despite that, it puts up a decent challenge, and you'll want to make it to the caverns to see what horrors are lurking in the darkness.

Overall 7/10

A game with plenty of quirks and flaws, which it overcomes by sheer force of personality.

[yume-x-hanabi]

Yeah, I pretty much marathoned the rest of the game, except Elympios.

The party met with the king of Auj Oule, who then promptly started arguing with Milla because of course those two would butt heads. I'm not going to go into detail about that meeting here because I already talked about it in the past. Love Rowen and Elise's little strategy, though I feel sorry for the poor guard who so earnestly vowed to take care of Teepo during the audience. He didn't deserve getting punched :( Oh and also Alvin is a traitor and Jude is maaaaaad about it. Defining Leia moment while they try to flee, where she doubts herself (Elise's words really hurt her, huh). I love how Milla just plainly states she's not useless. I live for Milla plainly stating positive things. They fight Wingul and Presa on the way, where Wingul acts like a disenchanted Rowen fanboy (aaand the booster Long Dau stuff too I guess). No but seriously he spent the fight targeting Rowen, it was hilarious (not for me though cuz I needed the geezer alive to help me cast spells). Back in Xian Du, Alvin strolls in like nothing happened (but Jude is maaaaad and Elise starts sassing him it's the best thing ever) and Yurgen proves to be the most sensible man in the world when he decides he doesn't need to know what happened. Good guy. A pretty animated cutscene later we crash in Kalakh Shal and Driselle is the most precious NPC in the world. I love how she gets the vet to treat the wyverns by telling him they're basically like horses XD Well at least he managed to treat them, so... There's a few Milla Side-exclusive conversations with the party - I especially liked Rowen's and Leia's. Wish Elise's had a bit more consistence though. Then she talks with Jude, who says he wants to protect spirits too, which makes her really happy. She's spent all this time trying to protect both spirits and humans, so it must feel great to have a human want to reciprocate. Those two are really a good pair. I also love how they basically promise to stay together at the end (though we all know how that turns out ;_; ) The time for the confrontation with Nachtigal comes near, but first there's some shenanigans with the Lance of Kresnik and Agria. I'm not too sure whether she actually tried to destroy it (on orders from Gaius?) or just made stuff explode for fun. She's kind of hard to read sometimes. Well, she's completely crazy tbh. It's really sad to see her in that murderous state. I wish she'd been given a chance to heal from her trauma and regain some stability. She's better when she's just with the Chimeriad (and hilariously proper when talking to Gaius), but we barely see any of that in game. What a shame. Talking to Nachtigal goes as well as one would expect, and we beat his ass. Rowen seems to talk some sense into him at the end, but it's far too late, and anyway some mysterious ice attack does him in. Bye Nachty, you were kind of forgettable, wish you'd had a bigger role. But no time to rest, because Gaius is invading from where no one expected him (and this is where my inner Gunshi Kanbee fangirl takes over and gushes about Wingul's clever strategies). But Gilland has a plan and it involves the Lance of Kresnik, which is bad news. To war we go! I spent the whole battlefield map sequence reading the Rieze Maxian writings on the map and laughing my ass off (no but seriously, it contains little gems like "we can fish fish here" and I need to find a video somewhere to take screenshots and translate them all, this needs to be shared). Alvin's acting suspicious again, and again the party just lets him be lol. Anyway, after a very long fight against both Auj Oule and Rashugal forces, we meet three of the Chimeriad blasting off enemies like badasses before deciding to fight us. Honestly I think their deaths were foreshadowed here, with this bit of dialog: Rowen: But it is an unnecessary step, one that could cost your lives. Who would be left to support the king? Presa: His Highness can look after himself. YES HE CAN BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE SHOULD YOU DUMBASSES *ahem* Anyway we win, Wingul faints like a Pokémon after revealing his booster is in his brain, Jiao doesn't answer Elise's questions and Jude convinces Alvin to not off Presa (yes Alvin, don't do that, it's rude). So who's left to face now? Why, King Badass of course. He and Milla resume their debate (may I note how much I love how they're actually listening to each other? At first glance it appears they're just butting heads stubbornly, but every time they meet they show they've given some thought to what the other said before, even if they still disagree. Great dynamics. Also the contrast with Nachtigal is interesting. The pre-battle talk was more about how Nachty was not worthy to be king and how they were going to stop him, while with Gaius Milla actually asks him to let her do her thing. She recognizes he's not a bad guy and tries to leave the door open for a conflict-free resolution. He'll do the same later, too. Aah I love them so much). iirc you don't have to win this fight, but I managed to do it (took me 16 minutes and I ran out of Life Bottles orz). The fight gets interrupted by Ivar, who stupidly activates the Lance (Milla's facepalm lmao). Aaaand that's when everything goes downhill. Elympios invades, it's chaos everywhere, Gaius and the Chimeriad are the most badass characters ever, and then Jiao sacrifices himself and I cry. No srsly whyyyyyy T_T let me just pretend he managed to escape somehow and is just taking time off to recover Milla has a weird dream and wakes up all confused and makes a bunch of mistakes, which is really unlike her. She's noticed the contradiction between her mission and her actions and she's really anxious about it. Still, it doesn't prevent her from reassuring Leia when she's the one sharing her own self-doubts. I love their relationship. When they meet up with the rest of the party, there's a new addition: Milla's "sister" Musee. I think it's good she appeared on Jude Side - it leaves the player completely confused about her on Milla Side, which is basically how Milla is feeling about this whole thing hahaha. After listening to Gilland's announcement that he's taken control of KB (and spouting a bunch of bullshit about it too), Wingul invites us in, and Milla then reveals the truth about the world, and Alvin adds some more information and speculation. Of course Gaius is displeased about a lot of things (I would be too if I just learned I was gonna be used for fuel), so while he's no longer antagonistic, he's not being very cooperative lol. Such a shame. With him and the Chimeriad, the party would have been unstoppable. Well, at any rate, we're fighting on the same side now, even if separately. The retaking of the capital shows once again how badass the king and his aides are (they keep stealing the show lately), and we take the castle back and steal an airship rather easily (no thanks to Ivar lol). While resting, Milla witnesses Agria bullying Leia about Jude (and gets the dokidoki when Agria says Jude has the hots for her), and then Alvin trying to hit on Presa (stomp on him Presa). Wish there'd been a scene with Wingul (AND JIAO), but oh well. Anyway, she's starting to realize why she's so anxious and the reason for the contradiction. That's something I totally missed on first playthrough, I thought it was all about her developing feelings for Jude (due to the Agria and Presa scenes), but it's actually about her identity as Maxwell. Though I guess you can't really know that on first playthrough, since the truth only comes up later. But it's interesting to see Milla knew then, way before it's laid out clearly for the players. Also Musee's creepy. Nothing new here. Oh, but I forgot to mention, Alvin's stopped being shady (or has he?). His momma's dead and he hates Gilland, so he's now 100% on our side. Gaius and the party depart for the Zirnitra, where Gilland and the Lance is. On the way, everyone's mana gets sucked up and sent to Elympios, showing Alvin was right about the fuel thing, and Milla almost confesses to Jude, but they get interrupted by Agria. On the Zirnitra, Ivar decides to join the Chimeriad (the actual Chimeriad's glare when he says that is wonderful), and we go our own way. Alvin explains a bit more about Elympios and how Elympions don't have a mana lobe so that's why they need spyrixes. When we confront Gilland he explains about Celsius and spyrites - spyrixes that don't kill spirits. But to them they're just tools (you're the tool Gilland!) and he's an jerk anyway so we kick his ass. He then dies because of the spyrite. Serves you right. Gaius and the others arrive then and this time they're letting Milla destroy the Lance. Hah, looks like we're cooperating more and more... except we get interrupted by Musee's Gravity spell and Milla gets the grand idea to sacrifice herself to save everyone. Milla bby don't do that :'( But the (now freed) Four interfere and save her soul from cleansing, attempting to revive her as herself. Which doesn't really work at first as she's lost her memories (she progressively gets some of them back though). I gotta say I absolutely love the spirit world part. It seems bland if you just go straight for the story part, but it's actually a lot of fun to explore, talk to NPC, listen to the Four's comments, do the little sidequests... I do wish there'd been more to it, especially when you consider how much stuff happened on Jude Side during that time, but what we do have is really fascinating. Also, Spirits interactions. Good good. Even without her memories, Milla is still Milla and doesn't want the Four to die, and they decide to stick with her, even if it angers Musee and the actual Maxwell. I had to change the difficulty back to normal for the Musee fight because I suck at 1-on-1 battles (esp without healer). After that Milla gets her memory data from Maxwell's replica and goes up the Hallowmont while Musee gets mad about Maxwell's lack of answer and flies to the human world to do who knows what. At the summit, the Four get summoned by Maxwell, and Milla follows them. There, she sees Jude and the others fighting against Maxwell, and she finally remembers who she is, making her come back in style. We absolutely destroy Maxwell's ass (yay Gravity Well spam), and then convince him to stop being a grumpy old man and believe in humanity for once. He agrees, but then enter Gaius, who looks pissed for some reason (it's funny to play this from Milla's Side, because last time we saw him he was almost becoming friendly). He then starts spouting nonsense about becoming Maxwell himself since the old one is useless, traps him with the Lance of Kresnik (he got it in the end...), and then there's that gross scene where he pulls a sword out of Musee I'd rather forget. Srsly developers, couldn't you find another way >_> He tries to send the party back to Rieze Maxia (instead of killing them, he's still nice even when he's mad), but Maxwell sends us to Elympios instead, where we conveniently end in the care of Emperor Peony Alvin's cousin Balan. to be continued...

[deltahalo241]

Halo 3 Review

Halo 3 is probably the most popular game in the long running Halo Franchise. It was a system seller for the Xbox 360 and for many people, it was their gateway into the series. So while Halo 3 has managed to craft this legendary status around itself. Does it live up to it? And, looking back over 10 years since its launch, has it held up compared to modern games. These are the questions I intend to answer as I take a look back at the heavy hitting title of 2007 and give my honest opinions of it.

Starting with the story, we have to talk about the fact that Halo 2 was originally going to be the end of the franchise, and that Halo 3 only came about because Bungie set their sights too high and had to end Halo 2 on a cliffhanger. Because of this, Halo 3 has to both tell its own story, as well as finishing off Halo 2's. Halo 3 is comprised of 10 missions, though one is just a cutscene and doesn't really count. So all in all there are 9 missions in the game, making it somewhat shorter than Halo 2. The big issue for me when it comes to Halo 3's campaign is the pacing, or lack of it. The story goes nowhere for 6 out of the 9 missions, preferring to faff about on Earth. These 6 missions are what I believe to be the way Bungie were going to finish Halo 2, or how they were retro-actively ending Halo 2 at least. Specifically Mission 5 is where I believe the ending for Halo 2 would have been. Mission 6 has lots of problems of its own that need to be brought up. To sum it up, in Mission 6, the Flood arrives at Earth on an infected Covenant Battle-cruiser. Long time fans of the Halo series will know the Flood as the all consuming parasite responsible for wiping out the Forerunners, and who took over High Charity (The Covenants Holy City) at the end of Halo 2. So this is a pretty big deal. On board the Flood infested ship, Master Chief finds a message from Cortana talking about the Ark, this is the beginning of the issues. Cortana didn't know about the Ark, she wasn't with Johnson and Miranda when 343 Guilty Spark revealed its existence to them, so how could she have found out about it? One option could be that she took it from the database of Installation 04, but if so why didn't she tell anyone about it? It would seem like a pretty big deal to me, especially when there's a portal to it on Earth that she seems to know about as well. Secondly, how did she even get the message on the ship in the first place? She was on High Charity, the message is on a physical storage device. Did she create it and put it on the back of a Flood to carry into the vessel? And when & how did she record it without the Gravemind knowing? She was being interrogated by him after all and we know how it can corrupt AIs. The threat at the start of the mission, the Flood is also dispatched by the Covenant at the end, meaning the stakes for Earth are pretty much over. The Covenant have left and the Flood on the planet are dead. This mission also introduces us to a new plot point. According to Cortana, there's a way to stop the Flood for good at the Ark, without having to fire the remaining Halo rings, a Forerunner weapon that perhaps, wasn't finished in time to save them, but could save us. Unfortunatly, Halo 3 immediatley drops this plot point, making the entirety of mission 6, pointless. The plot point leads no-where and the threat introduced at the start of the level, is gone by the end of it. It feels like the remainder of some earlier draft of the story, one that I would have liked to see for sure.

As so much time is spent at Earth, it means by the time the game actually gets to the Ark, there's only 4 missions left in the campaign. This doesn't give you a lot of time to really explore the ark, like you could explore the ring in Halo CE. 2 missions in on the Ark and the Prophet of Truth is dead, killed in a cutscene like the Prophet of Mercy before him. This is so that the game can say 'Aha! The Gravemind is actually the true villain!' as he betrays you just after helping you reach Truth. The trouble is the game only has 2 missions left at this point, and in only one of them do you actually interact with the Gravemind to any large degree. His betrayal is also somewhat odd, his tentacles raise up above Master Chief and the Arbiter as he talks about how he's going to kill everything, then fails to grab a slow moving Pelican Dropship as it escapes, only succeding at knocking Arby and Chief off of it before having his tentacles retreat and sending waves of combat forms to attack you, basically it builds up a boss fight and then nothing happens, you just trudge back through the same hallway you fought through not 5 minutes earlier, only now you're fighting the Flood. The mission after that has you delve into the Flood nest in order to retrieve Cortana. The mission itself looks great, the flood biomass over the walls really gives you an idea of what could happen if the flood gets loose. The level layout is extremely confusing and you may find yourself dying a lot as there are constantly spawning enemies including many Flood Pureforms, alongside the confusing layout, you may find it to be an exercise in frustration. This level also serves to rob the Flood of some of their menace. Looking at it lore wise, Master Chief just walked into the belly of the beast, grabbed his holographic friend had a quick chat with her and then strolled back out again. The Flood don't even seem to do anything to stop the damaged pelican he escapes on from leaving. It makes them seem incompetant. The final mission of the game has you heading to a Halo Ring, the intent being to fire it to kill the Flood infestation. This actually conflicts with what we were told in Halo CE, that the Halos don't kill the Flood, they kill its food and let it starve to death. You fight through more Combat Forms and the gravemind taunts you a little, then you get to the final chamber. Guilty Spark informs us that the ring isn't ready to fire, and that it'll take a few more days before it's ready. When Johnson informs him that they don't have that much time, Spark goes rampant and kills him, this had been foreshadowed earlier when Spark zapped a marine who wanted to check out his internals, to make sure he was functioning right, but anyone who had played from Halo CE could probably see this betrayal coming a mile off. You then have to go through an easy and boring boss fight against Guilty Spark before you can finally activate the Halo ring, as the ring is unfinished it starts falling apart, destroying itself and dealing massive damage to the Ark. Which conveniantly solves that plot hole of the Rings only killing the Floods food. This leads to the final section of the game, a Warthog run similar to the one from Combat Evolved, though not as fun. And then the campaign ends. It's a bit sudden, and they of course tease that the franchise will be continued in the future (Which it was, with Halo 4)

Now that I've finished talking about the single player, I can move onto the multiplayer. This is what most people will remember when it comes to Halo 3, as it had a massive online community back when it was released. Halo 3 offered a good range of game-modes for the player to enjoy and a wide range of maps to play on, though you may find people vetoing maps until they get the ones they want, which means you'll find yourself playing on Valhalla or Guardian a lot for instance. The weapon sandbox has been expanded from Halo 2, now new Brute weapons are in the mix as well. Unfortunatly, there's not much reason to use them. There's not a lot that sets the Spiker apart from the SMG for instance, or the Mauler from the Shotgun. The Gravity Hammer is a fun new power weapon that rivals the Energy Sword and I think it's an excellent addition to the game. Two new grenade types have been added as well, the Fire-bomb grenade and the Spike Grenade. The Fire-bomb is what it says on the tin, an incendiary grenade that burns the person it hits to death. The Spike Grenade is similar in some ways to the Plasma Grenade, it sticks onto a vehicles or surface and explodes, the difference being that the Spike Grenade is somewhat directional. Like the Fire-bomb, it's a one hit kill. Some new vehicles have also been added to the mix. The UNSC gets the Hornet VTOL and the Mongoose ATV. The Covenant lose the Spectre from Halo 2, but gain the Brute Chopper and Prowler. The Chopper is the Brute equivelant to the Ghost, only has the special ability of being able to destroy light vehicles by ramming into them whilst boosting, which is usefel in game-modes like Capture the Flag, if the enemy team is escaping with the flag in a Warthog. The Prowler on the other hand is pretty much just the Spectre, but with a Brute theme. It has a single turret on the front, rather than the rear and two side skirts for passengers to hold on. Aside from that, there's nothing else unique about it, as I said; it's a Spectre with a Brute skin. Halo 3 was also popular for Major League Gaming at first. Though there were some noticable problems for those ultra competitve players. Halo 3's netcode was a little poor, this made blood-shots (Shots that hit the enemy from your perspective, but don't register in the game, and so do no damage) rather common, which annoyed a lot of competitive players. Halo 3 also did not utilize hitscan like the previous games in the series had, rather players had to lead shots if they wanted them to land. This took a bit of getting used to for a lot of veteren players. The Battle Rifle also had some poor weapon spread as it would seem as though one shot was always going to miss, unless you were right in your enemies face. The Assault Rifle also felt a little weak as well. This may in part be due to the sound design used on the weapons, which I felt was a little sub-par in a lot of ways. Another new feature that was added in Halo 3 was Forge mode, that let people edit maps by adding in new weapons of vehicles or items and the like wherever they wanted. The mode was a bit simplistic but I won't count that against the game here as it was the first instance of the feature and what players did with it far exceeded their expectations.

Overall I'd say Halo 3 is a pretty solid game, despite what may appear as my hatred for it, I do actually like the game. But its multiplayer far outdoes its campaign. Halo 3 is an old game now, going on 11 years old. You'll find the population for online is rather low, struggling to get above 2000 people at the best of times. This is compounded by the fact the player base is split across the Master Chief collection, Halo 3 on Xbox One backwards compatibility and those still playing the game on the Xbox 360. There are some issues with the multiplayer netcode, but if you're just playing casually, then you probably won't notice too many issues. While the weapon sandbox is a little dull, it's not too bad and there's a nice variety between the weapons. The campaigns story is quite bad but you'll probably have a lot of fun with the missions themselves, the scarab fights are quite fun (even if they make the scarab feel like a bit of a pathetic miniboss) and the settings are somewhat diverse. Halo 3 is available on the Xbox 360, as a backwards compatible title on the Xbox One and is also in the Masterchief Collection. If you would like to purchase a copy, then follow the link below:

Halo 3 - Xbox 360

[threeambiguouswords-blog]

Shadow Of The Colossus? More like Great Experience Of The Colossus Amirite?

What can I say about this game that hasn’t already been said? I’d bet not much if anything at all to be honest, but on the near to impossible chance that this is the first you’re hearing about this game and I have the pleasure informing you about it (or you’re just here for the mad bants) then strap in.

Kitted out in all the gear.

Quick semi-disclaimer, purely for the fact it's the version i've played most recently and it gives me more delicious cinema like screenies I'll be on the most part talking about the "hot off the press" remaster for ya boi the PS4 rather than the PS2 or the PS3 versions which I definitely own and have definitely 100% completed (Insecurities bleeding through). So then lets get kicking.

General Overview

Gen. Overview, we meet again for the first time. So then, you’ve just bought shadow of the colossus, you’ve remembered the past or heard the hype and decided to indulge and buy yourself a copy for the PS2,3 or 4. After the JapanStudios and Bluepoint logos break the emptiness of your screens you’re met with a stunning scene of a full moon caught amongst shadowed peaks and as it begins to dawn on you what caliber of game this will be and the choir kicks in and after following an eagle soar through this landscape the camera catches and follows out protagonist and his companion Wander and Agro.

So by now the cutscene has ended, 5 or 50 minutes of you sat stunned have past and you realise what you’re in for. You select new game on normal difficulty (because obviously you’re a good gamer but you’re not going to choose hard pfft this game could be crazy) and the game begins properly, for real. Even without knowing anything about this game, reading colossalpedia or reading any item descriptions at all it’s pretty easy to get the jist of what this games about. You’re bae has died and a big gender ambiguous hole in the roof tells you to kill 16 colossi and they’ll return the favour once you’re done, off you pop.

Controls

If you read, watch, listen to other reviews for this game you’ll find that over and over again that this game has terrible controls and that more often than not it’s the games one fault. I however, happen to disagree (oooooh EdGy alternative view), admittedly the original PS2 camera was a tad whacked up but it was a small price to pay for the sheer magnitude of such a game on that console, and even then they made up for it by giving you some wicked collectible postcards in the game box so it’s all cool. Even so, this problem was fixed with later remasters with more fluid camera controls and better graphics to turn “bad camera angles” into “cinegraphic shots”

Photographic proof I’m a hipster collector and can say I know what i’m talking about, even if I don’t.

I’m going to avoid talking about the colossi at the moment as much as I can since i’m going to discuss them later and make this even longer than it’s already going to be so for the remainder of this section i’ll say some stuff about mechanics, scenery and maybe throw some of the bonus stuff in. I don’t know i’ll decide when i get to it.

Gameplay

Once you’ve finished meeting Dormin (The holy hole) and you’ve hopped on Agro you hold up your sacred sword which helps you find where your next victim and you follow it as closely as you can tackling puzzling environments and the most agoraphobic world you’ll ever encounter between your location and your destination. (If only I had that sword I might be able to find where this reviews actually heading). Once you reach your destination and before the cutscene your next epic clash it’s easy to see that each area is specifically designed for how you’re meant to tackle this foe, whether its an open area made to emphasise your battle partner or an enclosed field with brittle spires to take advantage of, every part has been meticulously crafted to make the encounter easier without taking away the incredible feeling of defeating these giants on your own.

Big mommas house.

I’m running out of words for epic and colossus so i’m going to smoothly transition over to mechanics now. Each fight at its core is the same, you have to find a way onto the colossus, hold on, find the weak spot and stab it till it dies, using two main mechanics of Holding/Climbing and Stabbing. Seeing how theres 16 Colossi in this game (A mere glimpse of the planned 48) it would make sense to think that this would get repetative. However, each colossi is so different from the last with only a few showing similarities (ahem the minotaur bros) and this partnered with utilizing the environment, the horse, or the bow in different ways for each and sometimes not at all makes each battle a brand new experience in of itself. Which is great considering you have to play this game at least 4 times to be able to say you’ve completed it, which in a way is like fighting the original 48 planned colossi.

After you’ve completed your first run, experienced the twist ending and had your adaption back into our reality you get to play through it all over again but this time in the aptly named “Hard mode” which is essentially the same except some of the colossi have more weak points, you do less damage but take more and the colossi try to shake you off more and oooooh do some of them try to shake you off. There is no real reward for completing Hard mode except being able to say you’ve done so and no one likes that type of guy (I’ve completed hard mode). With Hard mode out the way you’ve experienced the twist a second time and while the magic of the game never leaves the initial oomph does fade and it’s at this point the time trials come in. From here on it becomes less of an experience and more of a game.

To begin time attack you have to pray at the shrine of the colossus you wish to challenge (which probably has a meaning but this isn’t game theory with mousemat so i’m not going to figure it out). Depending on the difficulty the time you have to defeat it changes but aside from that it’s the same as the previous fights but without the travelling and time pressure is thrust upon you. The best part about the Time attack mode is that for every two colossi you defeat you get a dandy new thing to play with ranging from a harpoon to the worst parachute ever, to save this being any longer than it needs to be i’m going to refrain from listing them all but trust me, they’re alright.

The Colossi

Now ladies and gentlemen the moment i’ve been waiting for, I get to spend an hour writing about each colossus individually hopefully saving whatever respectability there is in this sub-par review. So in no particular order, aside from the order they come in in the game, the Colossi: #1 Valus [Minotaur A]

I’m horny and he’s scared.

I’m going to keep these short so don’t worry, not long left. Valus the shortest of the 4 bipedal colossi and the first of the minotaur bros, valus is an excellent tutorial, not the smallest to take away from the sense of scale but not the biggest allowing for more oompah later on in the game he is an excellent introduction to the game. The platforms on his back have often been criticized but if they weren’t there then where would his pet birds rest. Good/10

#2 Quadratus [The Mammoth]

Only half as horny as I.

Coming in at number two on a list in chronological order is Quadratus, still seen as a tutorial colossus he is the first colossus where Agro and your bow can be incorporated easily. To new players without a walkthrough the only real challenge is getting onto him as his leg hairs aren’t easily accessible but once thats out the way you can prepare for another epic feeling riding this beast for its final moments. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)/10

#3 Gaius [The Knight]

Duck me.

Strolling by at the tallest of the bipedal colossi its general consensus that Gaius is where the game begins, his battle includes a puzzle, he is a challenge in himself to scale and he has more than one vital spot. His arena gives impressions of being custom built for a champion like him as it’s a flat platform raised above a lake, with little background scenery sans the temple on the horizon accentuating how lanky this challenge is.It’s no mystery why gaius is plastered all over the promotions for this game. 9/10

#4 Phaedra [Kirin]

A stallion, Baby! I can whinny! I can Count!

Phaedra? More like puzzle because holy moly this one took a while to figure out, another where jumping aboard isn’t just an option you have to use the environment and then hop on its banging dreads and once you’re on its head you better hold on because larger Agro bangs his head like he’s bopping along to the games own soundtrack. This is the last colossus at the moment with its weak point on it’s head and things really change up in the next battle. I’m Trotting/10

#5 Avion [-]

I died getting this shot.

The story hasn’t started developing yet and you’re beginning to feel a slight lull at this point, you get the jist, there’s big things you got to kill. So far they’ve all been roughly the same size, had the same pattern and been one of two designs. Enter Avion and you had best jump when he enters or you’ve got no chance at catching this speedy boi, this battle brings back the original feeling of grandeur and sprinkles new flavours of epic over the top. The feeling of flying is portrayed so well here with the wind rush graphics and the resistance you can feel the resistance in the controls. Also as you can see this one’s got a helmet so you’ve got to find those weak points elsewhere. 9/10

#6 Barba [Minotaur B]

Prick

The second of the minotaur bros and by far the worst, I could have done without this guy. After solving the easiest “puzzle” ever you just think back to your training with Valus but instead of go up his back... go up his front! On his big dumb beard. Remember how I said phaedra bangs his head? That’s a spirit level compared to how much this guy shakes and everytime he shakes you have to charge up your blade all over again. If it wasn’t for a slight exploit where you can cancel his shaking animation if you time the stabs right I could have broken my first controller over this spice. -0/10

#7 Hydrus [The Eel]

I wouldn’t swim through that warm bit if I were you.

Another innovative and creative battle? Surely not. Well yes, yes indeed, a slippy boi this time and one of my top three, I love this battle. Often ridiculed for having bad AI or tough combat people ridicule this snake for not coming up to the surface, well i’ve got as word describing people like that bad at games all you have to do is imagine his line of sight and splish around in it and he comes up, you grab on and either tackle the electrode spines or avoid them entirely. Not the only subterranean colossus but the only water one unfortunately. ~~/10

#8 Kuromori [The Gecko]

Not the most annoying mouth cannon i’ve seen.

So far the most Aggro colossus we’ve met and on of the better puzzle ones, it doesn’t get so caught up in being a puzzle it stops being a fight. This colossus is one of the colossi who know you’re coming for their life and he’s not going to let you just take it. Unfortunately once you’ve cracked his puzzle he’s a cakewalk on later repeats but the first time he was the first I considered to be an opponent. Appreciative Head Nod/10

#9 Basaran [The Turtle]

The most annoying mouth cannon i’ve seen.

Here we go, the only other of these creatures I despise, the other being Minotaur Beard. The trick to this one is surgical precision and digitally accurate timing, if you don’t have that then good luck. This monstrosity needs tipping over (Because his developer names turtle *fake laugh*) and the only way to do that is to get him standing over one of the nearby geisers when it goes off, then you shoot his legs out and climb up him when he’s flipped. After the trial and effort it takes after all that you’re met with another run up it’s back and stab its head scenario exactly like quadratus. Also did I mention if you’re not at the exact right range he will spam the hell out of that cannon attack, I did not feel bad killing this one. Fuck you/10

#10 Dirge [Naga]

It took 15 mins and this was the best shot

Similar to his sibling from another parent dirge is the second subterranean colossi and definitely the less chill of the two, you still want to ride this one and stab his back but you don’t have to worry about splishing to get his attention this time. He wants you. One of the better puzzles of the game but not entirely obvious at first you have to get this one to crash into a wall and take the opportunity then to get on his back and land the killing blows. Quite an average experience to be honest lots of people place him at the bottom or the tops of their lists but I feel once you’ve got the trick down he’s a big pushover. Onix/10

#11 Celosia [The Lion]

You mess with the bull, you get the horn.

You find the sunken city, you continue on alone as Agro can’t handle stairs and you enter a temple with flames licking the was. Destroyed pillars? A roof? Before you can begin picturing the type of colossus you will fight an overweight cow with anger issues jumps down from the roof and you have to abuse its psychological fear of fir to break its armour and take advantage of the bare flesh. With it being further in the game it’s another colossus that feels like more of a puzzle than a duel but even so, overpowering a creature closer to your size is just as satisfying as a walking obelisque 50 times your size. 2 Horns/10

#12 Pelagia [Poseidon]

About as large as a blade of grass.

Swimming takes a while in this game. It’s not bad or hard to control, it’s just slow. and this battle has the most need for thought out swimming. Avion was just a swim to the start and Hydrus was just a splish and ride, but Pelagia moves while you swim which takes slight angling. When you get on his rear nub and worm up his back to his head you’re met with a crown of teeth rather than a weak point and with this you get to drive a colossus *play revived power*. It’s the inclusion of the steering your new whip and the incorporation of towers to access the colossus that make this fight original and shows you that the developers still had new ideas this close to the end. 7/10

#13 Phalanx [The Snake]

Game of the year 2005

Here we are, the star of the show. The fan favourite and it’s no question as to why, after a few experimental colossi that required thinking and plans this battle brings it back to the roots. There’s a big thing, you’re hopelessly insignificant, it’s completely innocent and you’ve got to kill it. The only one in which I had to take a screenie of the cutscene as it is too huge to fit in one shot during gameplay. Surely a colossus in every sense of the word and one where the magic never fades. 11/5

#14 Celosia Cenobia [Cerberus]

Mess with the Boar? You get the tusks?

From reading other reviews i’ve found that ceonbia is often cited as the worse of the two diddy colossi saying that Cenobia was a retexture of Celosia in a convoluted puzzle. I disagree though I think this is only because Celosia came first, Cenobia is the more aggressive of the two as it doesn’t have an apparent fear and it’s puzzle is way easier to figure just from looks. My only gripe is that the time to charge its charge is the exact amount of time it takes to get back up from a knock down so if you go down then you might as well move out because you’re done. CtrlV/10

#15 Argus [Minotaur C]

I’m so tired

The third and final minotaur bro and the biggest of the three, Argus. By now you kind of get the jist with these guys you have to get on their head and stab it with maybe another point on his chest, arm or even hand?? Once again often bashed for being another copy especially at the penultimate spot but I think it’s location, this guys cool as hell. Plus he’s the only one with black hair. C/10 #16 Malus [Evis]

He’s just too big for one shot

Finally, the big boss. This is a great boss fight, it doesn’t take away from the grandeur of the previous bosses but he has a whole sense of scale not seen in any other battle yet, and half the battle is just getting to him never mind on him. Also holy moly is he aggressive from as soon as you get up the initial ramp just to see him he’s firing lightnin out of his hands and waving his kilt like a nutjob. He fits perfectly on the difficulty curve of the game and is an incredible end to an incredible game. 16/48

Final Say

That’s all i’ve got to say really, it took me about 5 hours to write this and if that dedication to this game doesn’t convince you to play it then... fair enough it’s not really much of a reason to play it. Although you definitely should, it’s an alright game.