#but in all seriousness I didn't actually mind the whole world-hopping thing

[mycomicbox]

"ughhh i HATE the part of Bravely Default where the chapters keep looping and you have to replay it over and over" you are weak and will not survive the winter

[theskyexists]

Hop hop is always the funniest motherhopper in the whole show

'i wish I could be lovingly embraced by all of humanity'

Me too sprig. Me too

They keep hinting that Polly is insanely smart

How are frogman and granddad the same. It's not frogman throwing cars around

Wow they're super powered handymen. Should go into construction! Ok well I guess the cop knows granddad did an oopsie

'it ended up doing more harm than good anyway' DID IT??? HE SAVED A BUS FULL OF PEOPLE WHO WOULD HAVE DRIVEN RIGHT INTO A CAR!!! nobody got hurt when granddad got angry at him. They really boiled the superhero genre down to nothing lol. Wow they're really not gojgn back on it ahahahahahaha. FUCK superheroes and them saving people from traffic accidents. Superheroes ain't shit!!! buses should just crash!!!!

Apparently.

Did Olivia take Marcy in when she hadn't even proven herself as head of the whatever artificer rogue guild? Wow

THE GHOSTS AND THE CRYPTID MOSSMAN LOOKALIKE ARE OTHERWORLDY PRISONERS. OOF. WOW!

Damn!;! Damn!!! That's why I like children's cartoons so much!!!! They just throw in horrific shit like it's FRESH. WAOW IS THERE FANFIC !!?! I LOVE HORRIFIC POSSESSION!!!!!! Marcy just went very much up in my characters I love list. Though she was seriously growing on me already. She trapped her friends in another world. Then didn't even go to look for them but let herself get distracted with what SHE could get out of it. Then never told them she was planning to take them travelling on and on - not home. Meanwhile she's just sooo sweet and sooo cute and harmless. A klutz. Sincerely affectionate but also careless. SO LONELY. She's got shit parents but she RARELY lets on. She lets herself be distracted. The most closed of all of them. An actual literal real world child prodigy, boundlessly curious and passionate for the world, and ruthlessly strategic. And now -she has merged with the best evil minds of Newtopia, been forced. She has become the city's evil heart. She refused to see the rot at the heart of the kingdom (she's smart enough to have discovered it) and now she has been eaten by it. Shes lost all control of her body and mind - by all accounts she must be trapped under the suffocating crush of the Core, yet aware. But at least, she is not alone anymore ....

am I gonna have to write the fic about the possession just like I did for catra...

Anne is the leader in the field, the soldier, the superweapon, the beacon, the protector, Sasha is the general, the tactical and violent hand of/against the state, and Marcy is the queen....strategic, focused on systems, improving lives

I should stop characterising bc the show likes to juggle them sometimes...also did just realise that my book has this ....theme role division for the three main characters

I like the gender non conforming FBI agents

God the squeak toy sounds for the frogs will never get old. Also the close ups with the voices

king Andreas sure is such a wonderful villain. So hearty and jolly and cruel

Ah the it girls are gay and in love

The characterisation of small children in this as Monsters will continue to baffle me

Ohhhhh I LOVEEEEERR evil hivemind Marcy. I LOVE HER. Esp bc the core seems to have also taken on some of her personality

HOLY SHIT I AM CRYING SPRIGS PRESENT FOR ANNE OH MY GOD!!!!!! THE VOICE ACTING AND TIMING AND WRITING ON THIS BIT HAAAAAAA

ANNE ONLY NOW IS INFORMING SASHAS AND MARCYS PARENTS THAT THEY ARE ALIVE. Also anonymously with the most outrageous claims....dude. they're not gonna fucking believe that

So Sasha's parents are divorced. She's also likely rich

They're opening an interdimensional portal with the energy from a car battery....

We're on the right track. YOU CREATED AN INTERDIMENSIONAL PORTAL WHAT THE FUCK

It's fascinating - apparently the only thing to see in LA are shops

ANNE IS HAVING THE 'IM JUST A KID' REALISATION

So they broke with Anne's blue colour scheme this episode just to do a Darth Vader reference?

Her parents have realised that Anne has become insanely proficient at combat

WHAT parents would not insist on coming along

I wanna know what SASHA is doing. GIVE ME HER RESISTANCEEEEE

GOD Anne's powers look so damn cool

Interesting that they never returned to that bit about the mother of olms when that was their main lead

Sasha has a new OUTFIT. Instantly gives Anne the commander helmet. They undersell how significant that is. Is this episode gonna be about how Sasha is in her rightful place as commander and Anne is...for other things? I hope the colour of the helmet implies this. YES. Grime is saying the same. Please let it come true. Please let

Even Anne can tell. BUT SASHA IS TRYING TO BE DIFFERENT AND NOT TAKE CONTROL SO MUCH. And she's. Right that the people want Anne

WHAT THE FUCK AHAHAHAHAHAHA. OK that's the most Anne thing I LOVE IT she just GOT EATEN to get Sasha to take command. Man. Every emotional moment between them always great

Skdnkdndkdhdjdjdbd sometimes there's an amazing joke

YES THEYRE GOING ALL IN ON TACTICAL SASHA

GOD I LOVE SASHA MILITARY TALK AND HER INTELLIGENCE. YES I LOVE THE RESISTANCE!!!!

Sasha is like: the resistance can't lose both of us. But then does send both of them on mission. She did this deliberately to train with Anne for sure and/or to help toady develop in Crocker's team. Nah the narrative is not that smart. She did believe they could do without them though

Sasha literally kicked a giant rock in half

It's actually really fun to think about how Anne and Marcy and Sasha haven't noticed their own insane power creep - even without stone powers

Actually why did Anne put on the exact same outfit again. The school uniform or whatever...

Sasha and Anne work so well together as co leaders AAAAA I love them. Sashas signature are emojis....

SASHA CHEERLEADING BUT BEING TOO BUSY TO REWRITE THE SONG OH MY GOD I LOVE HER

This last season is honestly the best. Except for all the sappy parent scenes.

YES I KNEW IT. Marcy is locked in her own mind and the core has inherited quirks.

LOVE that Barrel is the famous toad from the past that they got the hammer from. LOVE that Leaf apparently started the planter line. All young and contributing to a horrific interdimensional empire without second thoughts.

God...the core sure is uhhh a horrific ancestor hivemind hanging out in the body of the kid you quite liked and then killed. The character design for Darcy is amazing

The question is why Sasha and Anne are hitting just little targets when they KNOW that the heart of Andreas' power is the music box. take that, and he can't invade shit

So Leaf left a leaf of paper for Andreas...

Sasha is more of a dog person...who woulda thought. Marcy and Anne are definitely the dogs in the relationship...

I LOVE how all the episodes are coming back!!! Bittyburg. Domino. Trattonio.

Their official titles are madam generals. I love it

Just realised that the Newts look like lotr elves

The FLYING the EYES the VOICE the MAGICAL HAIR . GOD it's so cool

Sasha supporting Anne afterwards. So cool

'im sorry sash' THEY HUG.

Their strategy is like that of a movie that Marcy watched. YIKES. The core will see through it for sure

Ah Marcy was not happy about Anne and Sasha not sharing in her interests.

Oh SHIT. That's what happened to Olivia and Yunan. Grisly.

Are you fucking serious.....Anne and Sasha beat these two by doing a perfectly synced DANCE that they still remembered perfectly after a tearful and emotional heart to heart where Anne grabs Sasha's hand in both hands and anyway

The voice actress for Marcy must be having SO MUCH FUN

GOD!!! THE ANIMATION. THE AMAZINGLY COOL OUTFIT FOR DARK MARCY. YAAAAAA

Dark Marcy about to kill ANNE!!! YEAAAA ANGST

'amusing. You want to beg?' ahhh delightful. Stupid petty shitty ass imperialist ancestor kings are so easy.

'we look forward to dissecting you. Alive' I LOVE IIIIIT SO EVIL!!!! USING MARCYS VOICE FOR IT TOO!! please tell me Marcy was aware of almost killing Anne with her own hands.

But you know what? I do believe that Anne's parents have informed Mr X that there IS GOING TO BE AN ALIEN INVASION AND THEY NEED TO PREPARE THEMSELVES

They literally use their tongues for everything but those weren't incapacitated. Dark Marcy was very stupid to tie them up instead of instant collaring of course

Instead of helping the people not get murdered they're setting up a base....sldjdkdknff

Shit. She might NOT be aware of what happens on the outside. Too bad. The core is just distracting her with endless temptations

So they deleted her memory. Yikes. Is she getting that back? Permanent brain damage Marcy? Sounds very uh angsty

'and save any remaining civilians' YOU MEAN THE ONES WHO HAVENT BEEN EATEN WHILE YOU LEFT THEM TO FEND FOR THEMSELVES????

Wow when they went in for that hug I was like ????????????? Bc for on sec it was drawn rather differently like faces first

Wow. Soldiers are actually dying in this rts game

Olivias WHAT hahahahaha

Does...Sasha look like edelgard in Marcy's dream world hahahaha

Holy shit wow I did NOT expect them to parallel losing Polly's and Sprigs parents with losing Annes

Wow. What a solution. The monsters that killed your parents. The solution? Tame them and sicc them on your enemies. That's...unconventional

The cartoony shit where the enemy always surprise attacks with something non-lethal. Ah

Now they're just showing off with the animation for Marcy.

The only reason the whole of LA hasn't been blasted yet is due to one simple trick by Anne where her life might be essential

Is Andreas really gonna fight her? YEEEEESSSS ANNE GOING PSYCHOANALYSIS ON ANDREAS YESSSSS THATS WHAT I WANNA DO CALL HIM PITIFUL!! BOTH MOCKING AND GENUINELY PITYING HIM

Wow the Core builds some really shit AI lol

It hurts that they don't want what you want. Oh Marcy. I love you

Ok. Not the message I would have sent to Andrias, Leaf.

Wow the Core is so damn strategically weak actually. Guess having a hundred minds in there makes making decisions kind of difficult actually

So how did Anne get her third wind?

'nothing can take away the memories of the time we spent together'

But that's not true...because memories fade....

The Moon is a core base??????

Lol Sasha's outfit is punk

They look fucking cool

'this is the coolest most anime thing that's ever happened to me' well YEAH marcy

Pfffthrjdjdnfkfn a nat 20

MARCY STUMBLED IN SPACE

Honestly think this is dumb and they should have done a teamwork friendship move

Ok yeah I remembered right. Frobo CAN fly so why did he take the heron.

Wow CANON GAY NEWTS

'nothing will change what you mean to me' not time not space

Is that true?

YES!!! Grown up Polly!

Were Maddie's sisters so young that they're still pollywags?

Bessie and Joe the sparrow....

I guess it's nice that Sprigs still got Polly, and Hop Pop and Ivy. And that Anne's not dead. Really the defining thing here that makes things ok

You're telling me that. Anne Sasha and Marcy GREW APART. AFTER SAVING TWO WORLDS TOGETHER. WOW. Talk about a depressing message. I am...uh Deleting that part from my brain what the fuck. They could have just stayed friends???? Is the message that what Marcy was scared of actually happened and wasn't so bad? My god

[dreampedia]

♡ ┋ hirai momo. cis woman. she/her. lesbian. ⇝ hey, isn’t that akimoto mio? i think that the 28 year old from tokyo, japan works as dance instructor at alister's dance hall & studio and daycare worker at moon & sun daycare, but outside of that people describe them as pink and pink and even more pink; glittering hearts and all things lovecore; the scuffing of high-top trainers against the varnished floors of a dance studio; bodies moving, illuminated by the flickering city lights; dripping strawberry ice cream and shimmering pink lip gloss. i hear they are overemotional & easily distracted, but they are also known to be friendly & passionate. consider giving them a visit at their home in delilah's den gated community and get to know why they’re called the daydreamer.

the names above are written according to their native japanese format (surname, first name). to clarify, this character's given name is mio!

IMPORTANT LINKS: pinterest.

TW: suggestions of possible suicide

BASICS

Mio LOVES the colour pink! Maybe an unhealthy amount. She strongly believes that everything is better off being pink. It's her favourite colour.

However, she actually tends to dress mostly in blacks and whites but she'll definitely make room for coloured (usually pink) statements and accent pieces like her jackets, certain accessories and maybe even her shoes. She tends to go for a sort of athletic street fashion look. Pink, shimmery eyeshadow and lips are a Mio staple.

She has a pet cat, a cream and white tabby named Cream.

Mio has never been in a proper, long-lasting relationship and has mostly had a few short-lived flings. She doesn't sleep around (not that it would matter if she did) but it's just never turned out that way. However, she's a hopeless romantic at heart. Her ideal type is someone cool who might make her swoon a little. Also, as stated above, she's a lesbian. It's not something she has always been super open about but she's using her move to a new place to be as open about herself as possible.

Mio's a very energetic person who loves to help people but this means she's also very adept at getting in the way.

She loves doing cute nail art! She doesn't personally wear fake nails for practicality reasons but she likes painting her nails. She's entirely self-taught and pretty good at it!

Honestly, Mio is a muse I've been writing since 2016 -- seven years this February -- so I have a lot of thoughts about swimming around in my head but, for some reason, they're not coming to mind right now soooo hopefully you'll learn more about her through interactions! <3 I've updated her with an Anchorage-specific backstory though!

BACKSTORY

Mio was born in Tokyo, Japan as the second of two daughters. Her parents were an ordinary couple, still married to this day. Her sister, Rei, was born two years before Mio and was the subject of Mio's admiration for many years. Though very different in many ways, the sisters had always been close. In terms of money, her family were comfortable. Not wealthy but they weren't struggling either.

From a young age, Rei was trained in ballet and it was obvious she had a bright future ahead of her. She was the apple of her mother's eye and was very much pushed to pursue ballet as seriously as possible. Mio, on the other hand, was given a little more freedom. She shared her sister's passion for dance but was much more interested in styles like street and hip-hop. Her parents allowed her to pursue these passions but the price of her freedom was that they weren't anywhere near as invested in her efforts. Mio didn't mind too much, she loved her family.

As the years went on, the pressure got to Rei. It got to be too much and it broke her and she ran away from home. Mio was fifteen years old at the time and it threw her whole world into question. Her beloved sister was gone. But Mio was nothing if not compassionate and understanding. She never blamed Rei for leaving. Their parents’ expectations quickly shifted onto Mio and so she became a sort of stand-in for Rei, fulfilling their dreams of having a daughter who might find success as a dancer. It was evident that the suddenness of it all had been too much and they were far from ready to let go of this superficial goal. It didn't bother Mio at first and she even liked the extra attention but, before long, it became impossible to ignore the feeling of being a replacement. They hadn't wanted a dancer, they'd wanted a ballerina.

Once she graduated from high school, her parents used the money they'd set aside for Rei to send Mio to a dance university in Tokyo. It was around this time that Rei returned, looking like she'd been through Hell. Mio never found out everything that happened to her sister but she did accept her with open arms. But Rei never stayed long. For two years, she came and went, slipping through the cracks like a shadow. Eventually, she stopped showing up at all and Mio was back where she'd started. Mio's studies brought her to the States. She spent a few years in Los Angeles, finishing off her dance training and learning English before returning home to Tokyo again.

She would spend another few years in Japan, joining a dance crew and working actively as a dancer. She'd earned herself some attention for uploading dance covers online too. Everything was going well for Mio. She had a decent apartment in the city, she had her dream job, she had a cat that she loved. She was happy. But, one day, a letter came for her in the post. A letter from her sister. The letter itself was simple enough. A generic note to let Mio she was still around and to ask how things were going. But there was a note at the end, one that Mio couldn't ignore. 'Have you heard about Anchorage in Alaska?' she'd asked, 'People go missing there all the time. You could go there to vanish and nobody would even question it.'

Mio took this as a sign that she needed to move back to the States and find her way to Anchorage. She moved there with her little cat in tow, taking up residence in a hotel for a couple of weeks. There was no sign of Rei but Mio had already resolved to stay, now moving to a little cottage that her cat would likely prefer. At first, she told herself she was staying for Rei. If Mio had shown up too early, Rei might still come and if Mio had shown up too late, she wanted to stay as close to her sister's possible resting place as possible. However, there was something else keeping Mio there.

All her life, Mio has wanted to help people. She was always preoccupied with checking up on people, occasionally to the point of being a little annoying. Given what sort of place Anchorage was, she felt guilty about the idea of leaving. It seemed selfish to run off just because it was a little scary. Besides, she'd grown to like the people here. If nothing else, Anchorage was a fascinating place.

Mio has been in Anchorage for about a year now. She's still active as a dancer, practicing whenever she gets the chance and uploading her choreographies online for people to see, but she's since taken up a second job as a daycare assistant. She knows she can't really do much to help the people of Anchorage but perhaps providing the children born into this strange environment with a sense of calm and safety was a good place to start.

[freebooter4ever]

Snafu Vampire Cryptid VS Hunter Gene

Thank you @s-k-y-w-a-l-k-e-r and @edteche2 and @diasimar for listening to all my vampire nonsense!

Summary: crack treated seriously - after the war Eugene becomes a vampire hunter (without a backstory because I couldn't come up with a believable one) and starts tracking a very odd, very suspicious vampire known to the locals as "Snafu". Meanwhile Snafu just thinks Eugene has a Very Intense Crush, which is okay cause the guy is kinda cute, so he can follow Snafu wherever he wants. HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Please enjoy my weird offering to this spooky season...

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It's winter in northern Louisiana, the skies are finally gray, the foliage dull and brown, the entire world monochrome mud. And Eugene hides behind a gnarled old tree as a 1941 chevy truck trundles up to the graveyard entrance. The cherry red truck is the one bright spot in the world. Or perhaps a smear of blood dripping from a wound.

The chaotic entity known as "Snafu" hops out of his truck and saunters through the graveyard arch. It's a tiny graveyard - a postage stamp inside a giant swath of trees, protected by a flimsy knee-high log fence. The whole place was built during the pioneering days, in a rush when caravans of wagons didn't have time to stop and do it properly. Most of the wood is half rotted. Except for the old oak concealing Eugene. It's trunk is twisted and wide, making for a good hiding spot. The giant tree is the only thing still growing strong inside these hallowed grounds.

Or perhaps not so hallowed. Snafu crosses the boundary into the graveyard easily and without thought. It must have been ages since a priest formally consecrated this land. A whole number of things could have happened to profane the cemetary between then and now.

After all, hardly anybody visits this graveyard anymore, who would know?

There's only two recently dug graves. The markers read '1934', and they're directly in Eugene's line of sight. Eugene supposes eleven years ago is not actually recent, but time plays tricks with his mind nowadays. The years he spent overseas during the war simultaneously feel like a blink of an eye and a whole age. Sometimes Eugene forgets he didn't revert back to 1942 at the end of it all - still 19 but with a brain that no longer fits.

The cemetery is both old and barely accessible. It takes someone a full hour to drive out to this catholic graveyard. Not because it's particularly far from town, but because the dirt and gravel road is so rough cars can't travel more than five miles an hour on it. There's only one place this dirt road goes - straight to the graveyard. And beyond that into a forest reserved for hunting. Eugene noticed Snafu's truck turning onto this road while Eugene was tracking him in town. Being an experienced hunter, Eugene followed deer trails and jogged to the graveyard on foot in half the time it took Snafu to drive.

Since it's a wayfarer's graveyard, the plots are bare bones. The grave markers are wooden. Some are shaped into crosses and some not even that - simply planks wedged into the ground, and most are missing entirely. The writing on the markers has eroded. But Snafu knows exactly where to go. Eugene's seen him here on multiple occasions.

This time Snafu has two fistfulls of flowers, one for each hand. He squats in front of twin wooden crosses stuck into the ground side by side, and carefully lays his flowers down flat.

Eugene shifts to the other side of the tree and squints to better see what Snafu is up to.

Snafu digs into the dirt with his bare hands. He clearly has no qualms about getting dirty. He doesn't dig deep, just a shallow little circle at the base of the first cross. He then reaches into the baggy pocket of his pants and pulls out a tin can. This he places inside the shallow hole and smushes dirt around the edge to hold the can upright.

Snafu gets to his feet and walks back to his red truck to grab a watering can from the bed. The water inside sloshes as he carries it to the graves.

He fills the tin can with water and drops the flowers in. He sits back on his heels and admires his crude handiwork. Dissatisfied with it, he carefully arranges the flowers till they are evenly spread out and the colors separated nicely.

From Eugene's standpoint, all he can see is the back of Snafu's curly head outlined against a brilliant bouquet of color. Snafu's little ears stick out amidst the thick curls, and his shoulders are hunched, as if he's nervous about touching the flowers gently enough. Not a single petal falls.

Seeing him from this angle, it's hard to believe Snafu could be a bloodthirsty murderous sonofabitch.

Finally finished with the first flower bouquet, Snafu pulls another tin can out from his left pocket and repeats the whole process for the second grave.

Eugene is dumbfounded. This isn't what he expected at all. There's even a tear tracking it's way down Snafu's grubby cheek.

Snafu kneels in the cold dirt and bends his head over the pair of graves. He looks utterly defeated.

The scene makes Eugene's heart ache and his instinct is to offer comfort. He fights his instincts, though. Isn't that what this training is all about? Learning how sometimes instincts get you killed?

"I know you're there," Snafu says loudly without lifting his head, "and my life has kinda gone to shit lately, so if you don't mind coming out, I could use a hug."

Eugene freezes behind the tree. Not hard to do since the temperature is so damn cold. Suddenly it all makes sense. If Snafu already knew, then this was all a show. An act for Eugene. Snafu pretending to have a heart with empathy and sorrow.

Eugene debates on his next move. Snafu's request is the one part of this that doesn't add up. Unwilling to fully reveal himself, even if Snafu claims he knows Gene's there, Eugene sticks his head out from around the tree trunk. Not that having a gigantic hunk of wood and bark between them could save Eugene from Snafu's wiles.

"You want me to hug you?" Eugene asks dumbfoundedly.

Snafu shrugs and blinks his big sad eyes at Gene, "If you don't mind."

How could Gene say no to those eyes?

Training never covered this kind of situation.

"Okay…" Eugene stammers, "I guess…" he comes out from behind the tree and waits awkwardly beside the trunk, in full view of Snafu.

Snafu carefully hobbles to his feet, stiff after kneeling so long, and walks to Eugene. They stand in front of each other, a few feet apart, staring.

Snafu's eyes are damn pretty. In all his time spent looking at the guy, Eugene hadn't gotten close enough yet to see, but now he knows. And now that he knows, there's no way he could ever forget.

Eugene opens his arms wide, still a little unsure about what happens next. A part of Eugene doesn't believe he'll actually get a hug. That the request must be some kind of a new trick, or part of a larger plan.

So when Snafu walks straight into Eugene's arms and wraps himself tight around Eugene's waist, it comes as a bit of a surprise.

Eugene prides himself on adjusting to surprise pretty well. It only takes Eugene a minute or so to hug back. Once he gets his own arms around Snafu's shoulders, Snafu surprises him yet again by shuffling in closer.

Not to mention that Snafu isn't hugging Eugene on the outside of his coat. No, the little sneak slipped his hands inside Eugene's leather jacket, so there are only a few thin layers of cotton and wool separating Snafu's firm arms from Eugene's skin. It's almost as if Snafu's got his hands on Eugene's naked body. Eugene can feel how cold Snafu's fingers are.

Maybe that's why Snafu stuck them under Eugene's jacket. To warm them.

Cold hands are already a red flag. One that should send Eugene into defensive mode. Yet, it doesn't. He stands perfectly still, and lets Snafu leech his warmth.

Eugene can also feel every breath Snafu takes, and he almost swears he feels a pounding heartbeat beneath Snafu's chest, but Eugene's own pulse is so loud in his head it's hard to tell. Snafu seems small and fragile in Eugene's arms, though Eugene knows that to be a lie. Snafu is about as fragile as a crocodile.

And hugging him is probably about as safe as hugging a crocodile. Worse actually. Eugene should really not be doing this. Except that he is enjoying it immensely. Snafu smells nice, like wood chips and that sappy smell Eugene associates with Christmas. And his curls are softer than Eugene has imagined. Not that Eugene spends his free time imagining the softness or springy-ness of Snafu's curls or anything.

Eugene doesn't think Snafu would mind too much - him wondering about Snafu's curls and how he smells. Not given how long this hug is lasting. Entirely inappropriate, entirely too heated. Snafu's firm thigh slots ever so slightly between Eugene's legs. Eugene squeezes him tighter.

Snafu noses against Eugene's neck, presses the whole front of his body to Eugene's, and runs his palms sensuously down Eugene's back.

Which produces a reaction in Eugene that he kinda saw coming.

"Uh…" Eugene is painfully aware that there is no way Snafu does not feel Eugene's erection straining the front of his pants. Etiquette says Eugene must break the hug now. But Snafu seems in no hurry to do that.

"Gene…" Snafu whispers in his ear.

"Uhhhhhh…" Eugene sighs lustfully, feeling at a loss for control. He doesn't even stop to wonder how Snafu knows his name.

Snafu presses kisses down Eugene's neck, and Eugene tilts his head to make it easier on him.

Eugene's mind is in a bit of a fog, as dull and grey as the sky. But each kiss from Snafu brings out sparks of color. And Eugene desperately yearns for more. Maybe this was what all these weeks of surveillance were leading up to, maybe this was what he wanted all along.

Undeniably the minute Snafu starts to open his mouth and press his teeth against the crook of Eugene's shoulder, Eugene remembers what Snafu is and the spell of lust breaks.

Eugene's eyes snap open (when had he closed them?), and he grabs Snafu's wrist behind his back and twists out of the hug. Snafu hangs on tight, and Snafu's eyes, so easy to get lost in even in the midst of Eugene's panic, look shocked.

Eugene violently jerks his elbow up to catch Snafu under the chin.

"Oh, fuck!" Snafu swears in pain and lets go.

They face one another again, Eugene breathing hard, and Snafu grinning maniacally.

The one smack doesn't keep Snafu off for long. He lunges at Gene and practically leaps onto him with all four limbs outstretched.

"What the hell?" Eugene mutters as he ends up half catching Snafu in his arms. They both collapse against the tree. Snafu is a scrappy fighter, and it's lucky Eugene has his training to fall back on or else all hope would be lost. It takes a herculean effort, but Eugene eventually manages to wrangle Snafu into the exact position he wants him. Eugene draws his weapon and lifts it high.

Of course, Eugene realizes he fucked up the minute the man underneath him goes limp and unresisting. Merriell 'Snafu' Shelton is well known around town as someone who never backs down from a fight, and never loses. Eugene fully intends to be the first person to win against Snafu, but he does not expect to also be the first person Snafu willingly surrenders to.

"Why are you waving a stick at me?" Snafu asks with a smirk. He arches his back and wriggles his shoulders, though the gesture is obviously an attempt to get comfortable rather than to shake off Eugene's hold. The man looks far too satisfied being underneath Eugene.

Snafu's flat on his back, with Eugene crouched over him. Eugene has a knee on each of Snafu's arms. One hand is in Snafu's hair, pinning his head back, and the other holds a wooden stake over Snafu's chest.

"You don't have nearly enough muscle to shove that thing into me," Snafu continues, sounding far too calm for the situation he is in, "The stick's too blunt. It'll barely scrape my skin."

Eugene leans into his hold over Snafu and applies enough pressure for the man to see how very serious he is.

Snafu's chest constricts and his eyes bug out when he feels Eugene's stake dig into his body, almost deep enough to draw blood. "Fuck!" Snafu exclaims, "How the fuck are you doing that?"

"I'm a vampire hunter," Eugene says, "Like my father and grandfather before me."

"I thought that shit was passed down to the first born?" Snafu comments, "Aren't you a second son?"

"I'm...changing tradition," Eugene falters.

Snafu laughs and it morphs into a cough when he realizes that as he moves his chest, the rip in his shirt from the stake merely grows larger. "Look, Eugene Sledge, renegade vampire hunter, I can tell you're more interested in other forms of penetration than the stake-to-chest kind, and honestly when you tackled me that's more where I hoped this was headed..."

"I tackled you???!" Eugene is indignant.

"...so either switch tactics or get the fuck off me," Snafu finishes.

"Fuck you," Eugene snaps, wishing the guy would just shut up and let him think. Unfortunately Snafu is accurate in stating Eugene found wrestling him to the ground more arousing than he expected. In all his training, no professor ever mentioned what to do if a vampire was particularly attractive. And Snafu, with his beguiling eyes and smart mouth, was clearly too much for Eugene to handle alone.

Instead of responding, Snafu just grins at him. His smile is devilish but his teeth appear to be completely normal. On the other hand, half the stories Eugene knows say vampires only bear their fangs before a kill. He needs to get Snafu desperate enough to feed.

Eugene pulls out his silver knife and places it against his own throat.

Snafu's eyes go wide, "What the fuck are you doing?" Now he's scared.

"Tempting you," Eugene says simply and cuts a tiny line above his collarbone. Small beads of blood start forming, "With warm blood."

"I'm not a vampire, I'm not a vampire!" Snafu cries, frantic, "Take that knife off your neck! For fuck's sake! You're too beautiful to die on top of me."

Eugene leans over him and lets his blood drip onto Snafu's face.

Snafu curses and struggles, but instead of reaching towards the blood he seems more interested in getting away from it.

"I'm not a vampire," Snafu repeats, "Go drip your heebie jeebies on someone who is."

"So what are you?" Eugene asks. He sheaths his knife and wraps a bandage around his neck to stop the bleeding.

"I'm an air conditioning repairman," Snafu says with petulant frustration.

"A what?" Eugene asks in disbelief. He keeps his stake pressed to Snafu's chest just in case.

"I repair air conditioning," Snafu says, "I do suck away people's heat, but only legally I swear."

"I don't believe you," Eugene narrows his eyes.

"Fuck, just, look in my truck!" Snafu exclaims in desperation, "You'll find all my tools. And a binder of clients."

Eugene still doesn't trust him. He leans the tiniest bit of extra pressure onto the wooden stake digging into Snafu's chest to try and intimidate him into honesty. But he doesn't get the chance to act on it. One minute Snafu is wide eyed and wiggling underneath him, and the next minute the guy's leg somehow comes around Eugene's face, his foot hooks Eugene's neck, Eugene topples over, and Snafu ends up perched on him instead.

Snafu grabs Eugene's knife and throws it somewhere. Then he takes the wooden stake and breaks it over his knee.

"Take a tip from an ex-carpenter," Snafu says. He shakes the broken stick at Eugene as he leans in far too close, "Never use new lumber." Snafu holds the broken chunk of wood up to Eugene's face and forces him to look at it. "See how loose the rings are? This tree was maybe eight years old. Shit quality." Snafu tosses the pieces of wood behind him.

Eugene drags his arm out from underneath Snafu and rolls onto his back. Snafu goes with him. He lets Eugene free his arms, but keeps his hands on Eugene's chest to hold him down.

"Still think I'm a vampire?" Snafu grins.

"I…" Eugene props himself up on his elbows, "I dunno. You should hear the way people talk about you in town."

Snafu moves back a little to give Eugene more room, but he's still sitting proud on top of Eugene's stomach like he's won some kind of game. "If you go around killing people based on village rumors and hearsay, you can't be very good at your job," Snafu teases.

"I did my research on you," Eugene says defensively, "I followed your daily routine. I observed how much you ate, when you slept, where you slept…"

"This is getting creepy fast," Snafu comments. He trails his hand playfully down Eugene's shirt and snaps his suspenders. He sounds perfectly at peace with the creepy factor.

"You follow all the patterns of a vampire," Eugene insists, determined to prove himself right.

"How can I follow all the patterns of a vampire if I don't even know what they do?" Snafu asks.

"First of all, you avoid mirrors and glass reflections," Eugene says.

Snafu stops fiddling with Eugene's suspenders long enough to make eye contact. "Just cause I don't like looking in mirrors doesn't mean I avoid them," Snafu says, his voice gone serious.

"Why wouldn't you like mirrors?" Eugene asks stupidly. Snafu's awful pretty. Eugene would willingly stare at him all day. Probably forever if he could. This might have been part of the reason he so diligently tracked Snafu down. That and the villagers' claims of dead sheep with their blood sucked dry.

Snafu goes quiet. He stares down at his hands and his mind clearly flies off elsewhere.

"Hey," Eugene says gently. He sits up the rest of the way, which deposits Snafu in his lap. Eugene touches Snafu's elbow, and asks the question again, "Why don't you like mirrors?"

"Doesn't look like me anymore," Snafu shrugs.

"What do you mean?" Eugene asks.

Snafu contemplates this. He rubs the back of his neck and rolls his hips to shift his seat.

"Ah!" Eugene exclaims when Snafu's movement creates friction in certain sensitive areas. He places his hands on either side of Snafu's hips to steady him, "Maybe, uh, either refrain from moving or get off me."

"I expect to see somebody more alive," Snafu says sheepishly, "In the mirrors." He ignores Eugene's comment and remains seated, though he goes deathly still. Rather than fidget, he stares imploringly into Eugene's eyes which is somehow more distracting than anything else.

Eugene could just push forward and kiss Snafu's plump top lip, that wouldn't cause too many complications, would it?

"So," the wheels in Eugene's head are turning as fast as they can go when all his blood is rushing elsewhere, "you are a vampire?"

Snafu stares at him in stunned silence for a full minute and then shoves Eugene flat on his back into the dirt.

"You just admitted you were dead! You don't see someone alive in mirrors!" Eugene argues.

"Not literally," Snafu sneers.

"Didn't recognize you as the poetic type," Eugene retorts.

"Didn't recognize you as an idiot," Snafu taunts back.

"I'm not stupid!" Eugene scowls.

"Then admit I'm not a vampire!" Snafu says.

"If you're not a vampire, why do you never expose your skin to direct sunlight?" Eugene demands.

"I'm gay!" Snafu's quick to answer.

"What?" Eugene asks, completely brought up short and stupefied by the response. He honestly can't tell if the other man is being sarcastic or not.

"I'm gay. Gay people glitter in the sunlight," Snafu leans over and speaks directly in Eugene's face, "How do you know about vampires, but you dont know about that?"

"You're talking nonsense," Eugene's scowl returns, "I'm queer, but I don't glitter."

"Have you ever tried?" Snafu is leaning far far too close now, and grinning far too wide, "Think you'd be good at it. Glittering." He says the word as if it's a sin.

Eugene can't concentrate on what verbal bullshit Snafu's mouth is spewing because he can't tear his eyes away from those lips. A few centimeters closer and Eugene can break the tension building between them. Just one fairytale kiss and...

Snafu laughs. "Fine, I'm making shit up," he says and rocks back on his heels so he can stare haughtily down at Eugene, "I just wanted to find out which way you swung."

"Oh for fucks sake," Eugene swears. As if Eugene being uncomfortably aroused since the moment Snafu put his hands on him wasn't answer enough. He feels disheveled and unkempt, lying on the dirt with his legs splayed. He's pretty positive that with where Snafu is seated, Snafu can feel Eugene's erection pressing into his ass. Snafu knows what Eugene wants, he's just playing dumb. He grips Snafu's hips and shoves Snafu off him, knocking the guy into the dirt. Eugene struggles to his feet and brushes his hands off on his pants.

"You really aren't a vampire, are you?" Eugene concludes, feeling defeated.

"Nope," Snafu replies, rolling in the dirt till he's sitting up.

Eugene sighs and holds out a hand to help Snafu stand.

"Vampires don't live in Louisianna," Snafu claims, "Too fucking humid." He takes Eugene's hand and springs to his feet. He scratches at his chest where Eugene ripped open his shirt, but otherwise Snafu appears unharmed.

"Know where I might find any, then?" Eugene asks sarcastically.

"Tried Texas yet?" Snafu asks.

"Not yet," Eugene says. Even he can hear how tired his voice is. What a waste of time all this was. "I think I'll try California next."

"Why California?" Snafu sounds alarmed.

"Better weather," Eugene says wearily. He turns and starts walking.

"Where you going?" Snafu calls.

"If you're not a vampire, I'm leaving," Eugene bites back.

"If I am a vampire will you stay and have dinner with me?" Snafu asks hopefully.

"If you are a vampire the only thing I'm serving you tonight is a stake," Eugene calls as he leaves.

"Good one," Snafu says.

Eugene glances behind himself long enough to see Snafu smiling mischievously and eyeing Eugene's butt. He won't dignify Snafu with a response and make his claims credible. Instead Eugene turns his back on Snafu and decides to forget the mistaken encounter ever happened.

He doesn't succeed.

Snafu's hometown is small, and now that Eugene knows Snafu knows about him, it becomes obvious that Eugene always stood out amongst the locals like a sore thumb. Anyone with half a brain could pick Eugene out of the crowds on main street.

It's no wonder Snafu was aware of Eugene's investigation the entire time.

He feels so incredibly foolish.

Eugene doesn't really know what to do next. He sits on a bench in the cold sun across from his favorite laundromat in town and scowls. At least his clothes will soon smell clean and fresh - a new start.

Before long Snafu appears out of nowhere and sits down on the opposite end of the bench.

"I just thought you liked me," Snafu says.

When Eugene stares at him in silent questioning, Snafu continues to elaborate, "I thought you were some dumb closeted kid from some other equally dumb hick town having trouble admitting your attraction to men. And that's why you were following me around." Snafu tries to pass Eugene his cigarette but Eugene refuses. Snafu shrugs and relaxes on the bench, clearly here to stay.

"You're weird," Eugene says.

"But not a blood sucker," Snafu grins.

Eugene turns his face away from Snafu and crosses his arms.

"I have been known to suck other things," Snafu continues, "Only ever gotten compliments on that skill though. And maybe a few punches. You're the first who's tried to kill me for… sucking."

Eugene looks sharp at Snafu. The man is hunched in on himself, in a defensive way, but he still oozes that slimy confidence that says if anyone other than Eugene tried what Eugene did, they'd already be dead. He can handle his own, this non-vampire "Snafu" man.

"Why has your life gone to shit?" Eugene asks, suddenly remembering the first thing Snafu said to him in the graveyard. He wants to know more about the mystery.

Snafu takes a drag on his cigarette before answering. His hand is elegant, and poised, despite how boxy and round it is. "They're taking my kid sister away," Snafu says.

"Who is?" Eugene asks.

"Her shitty adoptive parents," Snafu snarls.

A woman passing by laden with groceries glares at Snafu. He glares back and flicks his cigarette at her. Everyone knows everything in this town. And they all blame him.

"My parents died years ago when she was still little. I buried them in that shit old graveyard because no one would believe it wasn't a double suicide. I figured no one would notice two new graves out there in the forest, nobody ever goes there," Snafu explains.

So Eugene was probably right - about the cemetery grounds no longer being consecrated. And Snafu might've even been the one to do it.

"Our priest refused to come. I didn't let Mairzy see either. Just me and a bunch of dirt," Snafu continues bitterly, "The stupid townsfolk were probably right - about the suicide."

"Jesus, Snafu…" Eugene says in sympathy.

"Now the family I gave Mairzy over to when I enlisted for the war are leaving town," Snafu sighs, "Hitting the road this Saturday. Six years to the day after I had to give her up."

"Why aren't you going with them?" Eugene asks.

"They don't want me to. They think I'm a corrupting influence."

Eugene can't imagine why. He watches as Snafu lights a second cigarette.

"They're going to California," Snafu says.

"Oh," Eugene replies. A lightbulb goes off in his head. He was wondering why Snafu was still giving him the time of day. Snafu's sister is going to California - Eugene himself is going to California. It makes sense for him to latch on.

"More opportunities there," Snafu says, "Land of milk and honey. I should never have left her with them when I joined the Marines. I tried for four years on my own, just me and her. Fed her first every night, but there was never enough."

"Can you get her back?" Eugene asks.

"If I smarten up, get a house, get a wife. Provide a proper nuclear family setting," Snafu glances furtively at Eugene and his eyes are full of sorrow. Snafu already knows it's a lost cause. He has no hope. Eugene can't take it. He aches and aches, and wants to close the gap between them and wrap Snafu up in a hug again, and get him to stop looking at Eugene like that.

Snafu's eyes really do glitter in the sunlight. They're haunting. Worse than any of the monsters Eugene's been taught to hunt. Snafu dangles that tidbit about needing a proper family in front of Eugene, all the while turning those beautiful eyes on him. It's unfair. As if Snafu wants Eugene to be the tempted one, wants Eugene to shoulder the blame for the magnetic pull between them. As if the entire town wouldn't still accuse Snafu of corrupting Eugene if Eugene were to give in and kiss Snafu right here right now on this public bench.

Eugene is a fine, upstanding citizen with well-to-do churchgoing parents and an honorable career. He's untouchable. Snafu is nobody. Eugene might be the one pining. But they'd blame Snafu. And Eugene can't do a thing about it.

He can't do anything, so his best course of action is to do nothing.

The laundry is probably done anyway, Eugene decides as he gets up and walks away. He doesn't leave town yet though. There's something still keeping him here.

For the next week, every time Eugene sees Snafu out-and-about around town, the man always has his shirt off. At first Eugene thinks it's an odd coincidence, and he desperately tries not to let his eyes linger. A small part of him has an inkling that Snafu is trying to prove a point. Snafu spent the entire summer and fall wearing long sleeve shirts and jackets. But suddenly now in early winter with frost on the grass some mornings, Snafu considers it warm enough to bare his skin to the cold sun.

His beautiful skin with taught muscles and a light dusting of hair leading a happy trail down into his low slung work pants. The man needs a goddamn belt.

By the end of the seventh day, Eugene watches Snafu put on a shirt to enter the local soda shop, purchase a malt to go, and then step back outside with his drink in hand.

Snafu's eyes meet Eugene's as he exits the soda fountain and the guy winks. Snafu very skillfully manages to strip his button down shirt off with only one hand and without spilling a single drop of his malt milkshake. His nipples are perky and his arms are covered in goosebumps, like he's colder than he lets on. He then strides down the street whistling the tune of "Praise the lord and pass the ammunition." His shirt remains stuffed in the butt pocket of his skin tight blue jeans.

No proper god-fearing man would be caught dead in those jeans on a Sunday.

Eugene loses his cool. He crosses the street, grabs Snafu's hand, and leads him down the nearest alley. Snafu drops his malt in the gutter carelessly.

"Where are we off to in such a hurry?" Snafu asks triumphantly.

Eugene refuses to say a word in response. He pulls Snafu down the alley and ducks into a tiny nook behind the soda shop. Eugene swivels on his heel to face Snafu and they snap together like magnets. Eugene expects to be able to get the upper hand on Snafu again, but this time the guy manhandles Eugene up against a wall.

Eugene's back hits rough brick, and Snafu fits himself between Eugene's legs. Eugene feels the harsh prickly coolness of the bricks against his skin because Snafu is already rucking up Eugene's shirt and splaying his fingers across Eugene's bare chest. Eugene takes the chance to get his hands in Snafu's hair and reconnect their lips.

"Fucking finally," Snafu gripes when he tugs Eugene's shirt over his head and frees him.

"Shut the fuck up Snafu," Eugene grouches back.

Much to his shame, this time it's Eugene who is the one to latch onto Snafu's neck with his mouth like a vampire and suck hickeys up and down Snafu's skin. He stops himself from fully sinking his teeth into Snafu's shoulder but only just barely. Snafu, the would-be vampire maintains better control over his own impulses than Eugene does.

Meanwhile the would-be vampire takes more pleasure in watching Eugene get off than in his own. He shows no interest in biting, fangless or otherwise. A relief to Eugene, because if Eugene not only failed to kill his first vampire, but also failed to identify him as one, and slept with said vampire, and then got himself turned...he'd probably be sent back to Mobile in disgrace.

Although, Eugene supposes he might not have given it enough time yet. He had better continue kissing Snafu, tempting Snafu, to be sure.

Thus, Eugene spends a long hour thoroughly interviewing Merriell Shelton for a second time, and safely concludes Snafu is in fact not a vampire.

"One last test," he whispers seductively in Snafu's ear.

Snafu shivers and presses Eugene's body tighter against the wall. He tucks his head into Eugene's shoulder and asks with great yearning, "What is it?"

"I'll need to see if you can enter my place of residence uninvited," Eugene says, trying to sound official and pretentious.

Snafu chuckles. His hand runs down Eugene's naked torso and he hooks a finger into the belt loop on Eugene's pants. Tugging at the waistband, Snafu asks, "You inviting me back to your place?"

He looks at Eugene from underneath his lashes, and Eugene momentarily forgets how to speak.

"Uh….," he says eloquently, "Yes, but I am explicitly not inviting you in," Eugene explains, "If you understand my meaning."

"Yeah," Snafu confirms with a small smile and reluctantly parts from Eugene's embrace.

"Okay then," Eugene says. He pushes himself off the wall, struggles to get his shirt back on, and brushes the dust from his clothes, "Follow me home?"

"Great," Snafu drawls, "Now you've got me being the creepy one."

"It's not creepy if I want you to come home with me," Eugene argues.

"Thought you said you weren't gonna invite me in?" Snafu asks, "That makes following you creepy."

"I'm not inviting you in, but I'm leading you to my home," Eugene answers, "Vital difference."

"Wow," Snafu says sarcastically, "You're really great at this monster hunting business." He ambles along beside Eugene as they walk, playing it pretty cool for someone who was needily clutching at Eugene's back only a few minutes ago.

At first Eugene starts to think their magnetic connection was all some kind of hazy fever dream. Till he notices the furtive, excited glances Snafu keeps sending his way. Eugene glances back, and catches Snafu's eye, and for all his casual attitude and bluster, Eugene swears he sees a blush color Snafu's cheeks.

Eugene is staying in a tiny hotel on the old outskirts of town. Everything nearby is built of peeling wood. No one respectable would be caught dead here, yet Eugene still steers Snafu away from the main entrance, just in case. There's a back door at the top of three flights of rickety stairs whose wooden steps were probably built during the old west days a century ago.

Eugene unlocks the door, lets it swing open, and walks inside. Feeling confident, he turns, and looks at Snafu.

"You gonna invite me in?" Snafu asks, all smiles.

"No chance," Eugene shakes his head obstinately.

Snafu glances down at the floor briefly, building the suspense. "Maybe I wanna hear you invite me in."

"I will not," Eugene refuses pleasantly.

"Maybe I want to hear you ask me to come in and fuck you," Snafu taunts. He leans against the door jamb and grins challengingly into Eugene's eyes.

"I do want you to fuck me," Eugene continues in his same, even tone of voice, "But I still won't invite you in."

Snafu's grin widens and he takes two steps over the threshold.

Eugene ducks his head and chuckles, "Glad I was right about you."

"Still...now you know I'm not a vampire… but…," Snafu hooks his finger in Eugene's belt loop and reels him in, "You sure you actually want me here?"

"Yes," Eugene says with fiery certainty before he grabs Snafu's face and kisses him.

Snafu kicks the door shut behind him and wraps his arms around Eugene in return.

They seem well on their way towards fulfilling all of Eugene's deepest secret fantasies from this past month of tracking the non-vampire, when Snafu suddenly pauses and stares at the kitchen counter.

Eugene's place is laid out like a studio apartment, with a tiny half oven and stove in one corner next to a fridge. Snafu detangles from Eugene and walks over to examine the colander resting in a drying rack beside the sink.

"That's a lot of holes…" Snafu comments.

"Yeah, sorry, pasta is the only thing I know how to cook," Eugene says, "I forgot to put that away last night." He stuffs the colander into a very full dish cabinet and shoves it closed. "Ta-da, clean kitchen!"

Snafu shakes his head a little, like he's coming out of a trance, and Eugene desperately hopes he didn't make a wrong move somewhere here.

Eugene smoothly cuts back into Snafu's personal space and slides his hands around Snafu's waist. It takes some gentle coaxing before Snafu is kissing and clinging to Eugene again.

"I'm officially inviting you into my bed," Eugene whispers in Snafu's ear, "What do you say?"

Snafu smiles, and it's almost bashful, like he's suddenly shy in the face of Eugene's openness. But Snafu's eyes are once more alight, and glittering even without the sun to help this time. He wraps his arms around Eugene and nods.

Hours later Snafu is still holding Eugene in his arms, but they've long moved to the bed and completely ruined the neatly tucked in sheets. The breeze from the open window is chilly enough that Eugene winds half the sheet around his left leg and leaves the other free. Snafu, meanwhile, is a furnace in his own right after a good fuck and has no need for mundane things such as blankets.

Eugene is tucked between Snafu's bare legs, and pleasantly warm. He slumps against Snafu's chest, settles his head on Snafu's shoulder, and prepares for a nap. Eugene's having trouble keeping his eyes open. The evening sunlight shining through the window isn't helping any. He wants to sink into Snafu's arms and into an unconsciously happy bliss.

Snafu is delightfully petting his hands through Eugene's hair. It feels a little like a massage. Between that and nearly falling asleep in the sun, Eugene is worried he's turned into more of a cat than dog person. He doesn't normally indulge in calm afternoons of doing nothing.

Well, nothing with the exception of sex. They did work up some sweat from that.

Snafu's hands in his hair are soft and gentle, and as hard talking and rough as Snafu can be, this delicacy when handling Eugene in bed seems to be par for the course.

There's only one small spike of discomfort. And that is something metal and cold digging into Eugene's back. Eugene reaches over his shoulder and feels around on Snafu's chest.

Snafu laughs. He bends Eugene forward just enough to tug a silver chain out from between their bodies. Snafu slides it over Eugene's shoulder so he can inspect.

Hanging on the chain are two dog tags. Eugene runs his finger over the stamped lettering. "How do I pronounce it?" Eugene asks.

"Merriell," Snafu says, "Merry-Elle."

"Merriell," Eugene sounds it out carefully, "Your name's as pretty as you are."

Snafu scoffs, "My name's Snafu."

"Did you get the nickname from the war too?" Eugene asks.

"Yeah," Snafu responds, "Fit me better than any name I had before the war."

"That why you still use it?" Eugene asks.

"Yeah," Snafu replies.

"I had no nickname. Everyone just called me Sledge," Eugene says, "Or Sludge, when they wanted to be affectionate."

"Guess they just didn't know you like I do, Sledgehammer," Snafu teases. He flexes his hips up like he's pounding into Eugene's ass to prove his point. Snafu's only half hard, but if Eugene had any energy left at all, it'd probably be enough to convince him to chase after round four.

Eugene snorts with laughter, "How do you 'know me' better than them? We've barely met."

"Know where you're from," Snafu says, "Know when you're not tracking people down you do nothing but sit, watch birds, and draw pictures of weird-ass plants. Look awfully handsome when doing it too." He leans over the bed to pull a photo out of his pants pocket. The photo is well creased with dog-eared corners, but the image of Eugene sitting cross legged on a log in the bayou bent over a sketchbook is still crystal clear. His hair is backlit and fluffy. It glows in the center of the snapshot.

Snafu has drawn hearts in red ink all around the background.

Eugene drops the dog tags to examine the photo instead. "You were stalking me?" He demands to know. He turns the photo around to see if there's notes on the back. The only thing scribbled there in almost illegible handwriting is his name. The writing is so poor, that if Eugene wasn't trained from birth to recognize "Eugene Sledge", he probably wouldn't know what it said. The same person who wrote his name also crossed out "Sledge" and wrote "Shelton" instead with even more hearts around that. It looks like something out of a schoolgirl's notebook. "Eugene Shelton," he reads aloud.

"Hey, when someone stalks me, I stalk back," Snafu quips in his own defense.

"Yeah, okay, I guess I was stalking you," Eugene admits, "I thought you were a menace to society."

"At least you got one thing about me right," Snafu chuckles.

Eugene tries to scoff, but laughs despite himself, and snuggles in closer to Snafu's body. "A menace maybe," Eugene admits, "but not a dangerous one."

"Says you!" Snafu protests.

"Hmmm," Eugene hums, tugging on Snafu's ear with his teeth.

"I am very dangerous!" Snafu insists.

"Yes, very," Eugene agrees as he pulls the sheet out from between their bodies.

"Extremely handsome and dangerous!" Snafu adds.

"Extremely handsome," Eugene repeats and politely wraps his hand around Snafu's dick.

Snafu's words instantly melt into nonsense, his body melts back into the mattress, and he locks his mouth to Eugene's. Eugene pulls free and kisses his way down Snafu's body. He puts his weight on Snafu's hips to hold him still and sucks Snafu's (apparently mortal) life out of his dick. It leaves Snafu breathless and wrung out, looking hot faced and blissful, sprawled naked across the sheets.

"Ain't nothing in the world more dangerous than that mouth of yours," Snafu confesses afterwards, "This how you normally kill vampires? Seduce them, get them into bed, compromise their mental faculties and then stab them through the heart?"

"I did not seduce you," Eugene counters, laying his head on Snafu's thigh and looking up at the beautiful man in his bed.

"Yeah ya did," Snafu smirks proudly.

"I wasn't trying to," Eugene scrunches his nose, "It happened very naturally."

"What would you have done if I couldn't cross that threshold uninvited?" Snafu asks.

"Kiss you and pull you in myself probably," Eugene admits sorrowfully.

Snafu crows with laughter, "You'd sleep with a vampire?"

"I'd sleep with you," Eugene points out, a little snippy. He starts running a finger up and down Snafu's inner thigh, and then along Snafu's pecker. Which twitches amicably. But Snafu has nothing left in him at this point.

"You're gonna get yourself killed boy, if you keep sleeping with dangerous people," Snafu warns in his slow southern drawl.

"Guess you'll have to stop me then," Eugene suggests hopefully.

"Nature herself is gonna stop you right now...what are you doing down there? You gotta give me a few minutes at least," Snafu shifts his hips uncomfortably and Eugene's finger blessedly stops it's movement around Snafu's soft, squishy, still extra sensitive bits.

"Just admiring you," Eugene says innocently, turning his big eyes on Snafu once more.

"Fuck me, I slept with a virgin," Snafu drops back onto the bed and closes his eyes.

"So?" Eugene pushes himself up and crawls over to peer down at Snafu's face.

"You're gonna fall in love with me and shit," Snafu complains.

"Says who?" Eugene grins.

"Just watch," Snafu complains, "Soon you'll be moonin' over me, and forgetting about all those other monsters you hunt, and wanting to go steady…"

"Didn't you just say that'd be a good thing, me not sleeping with other dangerous people?" Eugene interrupts.

"Yeah."

"So, I don't see the problem…"

Snafu's eyes open. He stares at the ceiling, and then looks to Eugene. "So I'd be doing you a favor...by taking you out?"

Eugene smiles, "You'd probably be saving my life. Making sure none of those other monsters get me."

"If we go steady, you wouldn't see any other monsters but me?" Snafu asks eagerly.

"I'd give you my ring," Eugene promises.

"Guess I got no choice then…"

"You really don't," Eugene agrees.

"I probably should stick with you, too, when you move on to your next town…" Snafu says and watches Eugene's face to gauge his reaction.

Eugene beams, "Yeah, I'd like that."

Snafu smiles back. And surges up off the bed to plant a kiss on Gene.

They swap a few more kisses before Eugene pulls away. "I won't even make you pretend to be a vampire to get me to come to dinner with you," he says.

"Yeah?" Snafu sounds happy.

"Yeah," Eugene replies.

"And you should know you don't have to secretly follow ten feet behind me on the sidewalk anymore," Snafu announces with gusto, "You could even hold my hand down the street if you're daring."

"Yeah?" Eugene gives him a small, shy smile.

"Yeah," Snafu says conclusively.

Eugene twists his Marine Corps ring off his finger and slips it onto Snafu's instead. Snafu stares down at his hand for a minute before he sits up and glances around the room at all his clothes, as if trying to come up with something to give Gene in return.

"You don't need to…" Eugene starts. He places his hand on Snafu's skinny thigh.

"I know," Snafu says. He looks down at his chest, and decides to lift the chain from around his neck. He holds it up and offers it to Eugene.

Eugene blanches. His own dog tags are hidden in his father's basement along with his uniform. He swore never to look at them again, let alone wear them. He can't imagine why Snafu keeps his on, even after six months of peace.

"War's not over for me," Snafu says guardedly after seeing the expression on Eugene's face, "It's just hiding. Waiting. For me to fall back into it."

Eugene leans forward enough for Snafu to drop the necklace over his head. Once it's done, Eugene lies back down and plays with the dog tags resting on his chest. "Isn't this a reminder?" he asks.

"You can forget?" Snafu asks in return.

Eugene lets the little pieces of metal fall back onto his chest. He turns in toward Snafu and cozies up to him, expecting a kiss. Snafu hides his face in Eugene's neck instead.

"Sometimes I mention something and civilians look at me like I'm the thing that should remain forgotten. But there're things so insane, so burned in my memory that they didn't happen in the past, didn't happen yesterday, they're happening now. I still see them happening now. And if I still see them, it's hard to remember what not to mention," Snafu says, "So I stop saying things. But I still...I feel it. It helps to feel this too." He tugs on the dog tags around Gene's neck. "These tags are real. I'm not imagining them."

"You don't talk about it to anyone?" Eugene asks, concerned.

"No," Snafu admits.

"Ever?" Eugene asks.

"No."

"Hey," Eugene says, sharply.

Snafu raises his head till his big eyes appear in Eugene's field of vision.

"You can talk to me," Eugene says, "I know what it's like. Probably even more than you…"

Snafu laughs, harsh.

"No, I'm serious," Eugene defends his argument, "You've probably never had to sit through a society brunch. With all the women in pastel hats and their desk jockey husbands in matching pastel slacks. Trading gossip in between egg salad, and every once in a while, when they might feel guilty, bringing up how good it was for so many young men to sacrifice for our country."

"Can't say I ever have attended one of those…" Snafu comments.

"And if I say anything uncouth, or violent, or bloody, I am the one who gets shamed into silence," Eugene complains, "Like we are supposed to cover over the dirty parts and only recall the heroic moments. The bits other people can be proud of. It's never about us, it's always about them."

"The fighting was about them too," Snafu drawls.

"Exactly," Eugene says, "And I'm proud to have been a part of that. Proud to have something back home worth fighting for. But it's exhausting. And isolating."

"So you found me?" Snafu grins and moves to sit on top of Eugene's hips, "To get a little sleep?"

"I knew nothing of your war experience prior to talking to you," Eugene says, "Your files just said you'd been in the Marines. Not where you'd been stationed."

"Would you still have killed me, if you found out about it? If I was a vampire?" Snafu asks.

"Probably," Eugene says defensively, "I am a monster hunter, it's my job. I kill vampires."

"How many have you killed?" Snafu asks.

Eugene sighs, "None. You were gonna be my first."

Snafu snorts.

"Don't even…" Eugene starts.

"Instead I got to help you out with a different first," Snafu brags gleefully.

"I think I preferred this one," Eugene says dryly.

"Surprise, surprise," Snafu's grin is a corrupting influence, "I don't think you're cut out for the other one. You don't have the stomach for it."

"Just because I refuse to wear a uniform and tags again, doesn't mean I didn't serve, didn't see action," Eugene glares, "I can handle killing."

"Never said that," Snafu brushes a lock of hair out of Gene's eyes, "War was different. This monster hunting business of yours doesn't fit...you're not the type to kill something just cause it's strange. Not in your nature."

"Isn't that the definition of all war?" Eugene asks, "Fighting something we don't understand? Something we consider strange? Sometimes strange is bad."

"War is organized, systematic," Snafu taunts, "You aren't."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Eugene says stiffly.

"You don't even recognize your enemy when you see him," Snafu smiles.

"As soon as I ran through all the tests, I saw that you were not my enemy," Eugene says.

"Hmmm," Snafu hums and lays back down to nestle in the sheets beside Eugene.

Eugene refuses to let that be the last word. He rolls towards Snafu and captures his lips in a delicate kiss. With a calming stroke down Snafu's cheek - down his neck, down his arm - Eugene encourages Snafu to come to him. And he takes pride in how quick the other man is to react. Snafu rolls his body against Eugene's and devours Eugene's kisses.

By the end of the night (or early morning) Eugene graduates from first time beginner to expert level.

Eugene eventually falls asleep in Snafu's arms. The other man is wrapped around him tight, with one leg actually hanging over Eugene's hip. It's cozy, and comforting, and makes Eugene feel a little like a turtle. Which is why he is surprised to wake up cold right before dawn. He feels completely alone on the bed, without even sheets to cover him.

Eugene's first thought is that Snafu snuck out and left Eugene behind to pine away like the idiot ex-virgin he is. Till he hears Snafu's mischievous voice behind him in the dark.

"Hey, Sledgehammer, you want to know how I know I'm not a vampire?" Snafu asks, his voice loud and wide awake as if the pause in their conversation was seconds rather than long enough for Eugene to fall asleep.

"How do you know you're not a vampire?" Eugene sighs, bracing himself for another bad pun or joke.

"I'm a rougarou."

Eugene freezes. It's a word he recognizes from his mythology lessons, but one he isn't too familiar with. He braces himself, and then slowly turns on the bed to look behind him.

A skinny, fluffy werewolf with familiar glittery sea green eyes stares back at him.

They blink at each other. Eugene feels strangely calm. He knows he performed all the tests, he remembers the gentleness of Snafu's care, and he doesn't think there's anything to be afraid of. In fact there's only one small discomfort.

"I'm cold," Eugene complains.

"What?" Snafu-the-rougarou asks in disbelief.

"I'm cold," Eugene repeats. He lifts Snafu's fur covered arm and tucks himself underneath it. He buries his face into Snafu's chest (more fur than muscle) and adds, "Goodnight, Merriell."

Snafu curls around Eugene once more. Eugene can feel the end of the rougarou's tail settle around the vicinity of Eugene's butt.

It does take Eugene a while longer to fall asleep again. Snafu's back is stiff with nerves and Eugene carefully rubs between his shoulder blades to make the tension gradually subside. He waits till Snafu's scared, fluttering heart calms down and he knows Snafu is relaxed. Eugene feels safe, and warm, and he decides maybe he isn't cut out for this monster hunting after all. And the minute Snafu drifts off to sleep, the rougarou starts to purr sweetly - a sort of low rumble in his chest that is almost more like a cat than a wolf.

It's terribly endearing. Guess Eugene can be a cat person after all.

[spidernerdsblog]

I forgot that you existed: Chapter Two

A/N: Chapter two is here. Tensed situation arising between our ex lovers. Hope you like it. Feedbacks and suggestions are always welcome.

Pairing : Tom Holland × Singer reader

Summary : It's been more than five years since you and Tom have gone their own ways after a heartbreaking breakup which had left both of you shattered. Both of you thought that you were finally over with each other and were happy in your respective lives until you meet again at a reunion trip planned by your best friend and you realise you are still not done with each other.

Warnings: none

Mini playlist: Endgame by Taylor Swift

Music playing from car stereo

I don't wanna touch you (I don't wanna be)

Just another ex-love (You don't wanna see)

I don't wanna miss you (I don't wanna miss you)

Like the other girls do

I don't wanna hurt you (I just wanna be)

Drinkin' on a beach with (You all over me)

I know what they all say

But I ain't tryna play

I wanna be your endgame

I wanna be your first string

I wanna be your A Team

I wanna be your endgame, endgame

 You leaned on Tom's shoulder as he drove the car. Your hot breath falling on his neck as you start kissing his sweet spot behind his ears as he lets out a soft moan. Your hand intertwining with his free hand resting on his thigh. "Stop it love" Tom mumbled softly.

"Tom" you said softly "Tom!" This time you called his name loudly and Tom suddenly broke out of his trance and was brought to reality it wasn't you but it was his beloved fiancee Eleanor . She straightened herself to look at him with concerned eyes "is anything wrong Tommy?"

 "No love everything is fine" he reassured her

 His attention went to the song playing. He frowned and said "just this song irks me, not a fan actually of such kind of songs."

 "Seriously Tom, how can you not be a fan of Y/N, her songs are too good." El started gushing over you.

 "Yeah I know you are a huge fan of hers but I prefer old school hip hop." Lies.

He was your biggest fan since childhood though he doesn't admit it now but he is very proud of you. Seeing you grow into such a big star makes him admire you more. After so many years he still adores you and your songs. He was nervous to meet you and be in close proximity to you for so many days. Yes he still had feelings for you and that is why your songs wreaked havoc in his mind making him feel your presence even if you were far away from his life. He sometimes feels guilty that he isn't being true to El as soon she is going to be his wife and you still reside in his heart. He can never love anyone as he did to you. El was a very humble, sweet, understanding and smart person whom he got to know through one of his friends. Soon both of them found they had a lot in common, small chats turned into dates and then to a full fledged relationship for 2 years. Dom and Nikki approved their relationship and wanted their son to settle down and finally see him happy. Tom wasn't much excited about the wedding so all the planning he left on El.

 It was around noon when you three finally arrived at the beach house. You were filled with nostalgia as you had lots of fond memories connected with this place. There were a total of  5 bedrooms in the house. 2 were reserved for the couples, one for Tom and another for Harrison's other two friends Ed and Chloe, the others had to share. You liked the sea facing rooms and there were only two on the first floor. You immediately ran upstairs. You suddenly stopped in front of the first room and glanced at the empty room which once belonged to only you.

 Sounds of laughter "Tom stop.. Please oh I can't breathe" you said giggling as Tom tickled you even more. You both laid on the bed and laughed. You took out your phone to take a selfie to capture this moment. Tom kissed your cheek as you clicked the photo. You threw the phone on the bed and climbed on top of him straddling him around the waist as you planted soft kisses on his forehead, his cheeks and lips. You sat back to admire him " I love you so much Tommy" . He rolled you over to be on top of you

" Love you too princess." As he connected his lips onto yours.

 You brushed aside your thoughts as you went to the adjacent room and placed your luggage on the floor. Zendaya came with her luggage afterwards. It was a nice room with a queen sized bed and thankfully an attached bathroom.

 "You don't snore right?" Zendaya chuckled

 "Don't know about snoring but I do kick in my sleep." You laughed.

 "Okay let's freshen up first then we can start unpacking our things." Z said

 "Yeah you go first I need to make a call to my second mom." you chuckled.

You had three missed calls from Alex which left you wondering what was the matter. You put your airpods on and called him. You came out of the room as you started strolling in the corridor.

 "Seriously you don't trust me do you? I have barely spent a day here and you have already called me three times."

 "It was important the company wants you to do a concert at the beach carnival there."

"What! Dude I'm on a vacation and they expect me to do a concert."

 "Yeah it will be nice for the promotion, kind of a tour actually and I think it's good only for you to keep you distracted from, you know what I mean"

 "I don't know I need time to think"

 "There is nothing to think the concert is on the last day of your stay so you will get to enjoy your vacation as well as do a little interaction with your fans good for your rep."

 "Still I need to think Alex . I have to go for rehearsals then I need to know the whole schedule of the event. It's a lot of work."

 "I'll handle those things and get you in touch with the event manager, don't worry."

 You were walking backwards through the corridor as you were talking, you suddenly bumped into a solid sturdy figure, you lost your balance letting out a light shriek as you thought you were about to fall, instead you felt two strong arms catch hold of you, one hand on your back and one wrapped around your waist. You fluttered opened your eyes and your eyes were met with those familiar hazel brown eyes and loose brown curls falling over his face. Tom looked at you with concerned eyes; he himself couldn't stop admiring you. This is the closest he has come to you in the past few years. Your familiar lavender scent was intoxicating for him, he also noticed that your hair is longer than before which made you look more beautiful. You two were so lost in the moment that the whole world hazed out for you. Both felt a warm feeling inside.

But you were brought to reality as Alex started talking.

 "Y/N are you there? what happened?"

 You pulled away from Tom's hold as you stood straight and stuttered

"yea…Yeah I'm fine can I…Can I talk to you later? I'll think and tell you okay"

 "Okay honey bye take care love you"

 "Yeah bye love you too Alex"

 As you turned back to Tom you both blurted out "I'm sorry"

 "No no it was totally my fault I wasn't looking where I was going" you said eagerly.

 "It's okay" Tom said

 You purse your lips and smiled as you were about to turn to go to your room he spoke again

 "By the way Hi! meeting you after a long time."

 You sheepishly looked at him "yeah Hi"

"So how have you been?"

 You were a little taken aback by his warm gesture because he had almost stopped talking to you after the whole breakup "I'm fine, how are you?"

 "I'm fine too" . Tom was about to say something but you were interrupted by a loud shriek

 "Oh My God!!! I can't believe this Y/N Y/L/N" excitement in her voice. "I'm such a huge fan of yours." She pulled you in a tight hug you didn't get the time to process what was happening as you looked wide eyed first to Tom and then to the girl.

 "Oh sorry Hi I'm Eleanor you can call me El I'm Tom's fiance nice to meet you." Your eyes immediately went to the big shining rock adorning her ring finger. A tinge of jealousy creeping inside you.

 "Hey! nice to meet to you too"

 She turned towards Tom and asked "you guys know her ? Why didn't you ever tell me?"

Tom fumbled at his words "umm.. Yeah we have been together since childhood." He looked at you as he continued speaking "then she left and we lost touch" the last line was obviously directed to you.

 "Uh ah correction it was you who lost contact because I was always in touch with the boys. By the way where are they? Can't wait to meet them."

 "They will be here in any second I guess" El said

"I can't believe you know each other since childhood, he always says that he doesn't like your songs"

 "Oh does he?" you looked at him quirking your eyebrow

 "No I didn't say that I don't like her songs I just said it's not my type"

 "Yeah yeah I know you're an old grandpa you prefer old school stuff." you said sarcastically

 "You are coming to our wedding right?" El asked

 You looked at Tom "umm I don't think I'm invited besides I may not have time to attend it. When is it by the way?"

 "Next year in March"

 "Great!! Wish you both a happy married life."

 "Uh ah.. I'm not accepting your bland wishes. You are invited to our wedding and you have to sing at our reception."

 "I would love to honey maybe I'll compose something specially for you guys but I don't think your husband will like that as he hates my songs" you looked at Tom

"Oh leave Tom anyways he has given me all the responsibility of planning the wedding so you are coming and that's final."

 "Okay dear as you wish" you placed a hand on her cheek and smiled.

 " Let's take a selfie. I really want to capture this moment," El insisted. You stood in the middle one hand on Tom's shoulder and the other on El's. You all smiled as she clicked the picture.

 Suddenly there was a lot of noise of people laughing and shouting and you immediately ran down the stairs. There stood Harry, Sam, Paddy, Tuwaine in the middle of the living room. As they saw you they ran towards you and circled around you for a giant hug.

 "Hey!! Y/N missed you so much so happy to see you again"

 "Me too guys"

 "We are going to have lots of fun this time gonna do everything we used to do when we were kids." Paddy said beaming with joy.

 You smiled and you all hugged again. Your eyes went up the stairs to find Tom staring at you. You looked away as you started chatting with them. Jacob, Ed and Chloe also came in later.

………………….

Zendaya and Harrison were sitting on the couch as you kept pacing the room

 "Seriously Y/N it isn't a big deal. It was just an accident stop stressing out about it."

 "It is serious for me Z . The first day on my trip I fell into my ex's arms and had a moment don't know about him but it was definitely a moment for me. And then there is his fiance who is such a sweet and humble person who doesn't have any clue of what relation I share with her husband.Why did I give into your plan God only knows uggh!!!" You sat between them on the couch holding your head. 

 Harrison wrapped his hands around your shoulders and tried to comfort you.

 "I know it's a bit weird for you to be around El due to your past with him but please for my sake try to tolerate just for 10 days."

 "You have vodka right?" you asked

 "Uh yeah why?" Haz looked at you confused

 "I'm exclusively reserving it for me because I'm gonna need it for the next 10 days if I have to stay here." You smirked

 "Tom, are we there yet can I open my eyes?"

"Patience love patience" Tom said, covering your eyes as he led you towards the beach.

It was your 16th birthday and your families had decided to celebrate on the beach house. Tom had told you that he has a surprise planned for you and you were growing impatient to know what it is. You both finally reached the spot Tom removed his hand from your eyes and you slowly opened your eyes as you saw the sea in front of you, waves thrashing on the shore. You looked around to see that he had decorated candles around you in the shape of a heart.

 "Seriously this is your surprise?" you asked him confused.

 "No love, the best part is yet to come."

He kneeled on his right leg as he took out a box from his pocket. He opened it to reveal a sparkling ring. He took it in his hand. He took your left hand and slid it in your ring finger and said

"Y/N Y/L/N will you be my girlfriend forever?

I liked you since childhood but didn't have the courage to say because I thought you were just a passing crush and you are my best friend and didn't want to ruin our friendship. But now I know that I feel happy when you are around, I like to spend time with you, that I love you. You don't have to say yes but I really wanted to say this to you.

 Your eyes were filled with tears, you bent down and kissed him to stop him from talking anymore .Tom gets a little shocked at your sudden act but then he kisses you back. You pull back after sometime as you cup his face with your hands.

"I liked you too Tommy and yes I will be your girlfriend for lifetime.

You looked at the ring to admire it.

"I know this isn't a real diamond because I can't afford a real one right now" Tom said scratching his head

"Your love is worth more than a thousand diamonds." you said as you kissed him again

 You were standing at the porch leaning on a pillar as you sipped into your cola can. You looked at the ring on your finger that Tom gave you. Out of habit you used to wear it everyday but now it's time to let go of it you thought.

 "So you finally had the courage to come here." Tom said grinning.

 What?! You frowned

 You previously thought maybe he's over it and now you two can be on good terms but you were wrong as here he is in front of you again being all cocky.

 "I mean after all these years you finally came here"

 "Firstly, this is my best friend's 30th birthday so couldn't afford to miss it. Secondly stop prioritizing yourself Tom, not everybody's lives revolve around you, not mine, at least" you scoffed

 "Yeah because your life's current priority is Alex right?"

 Was he jealous after he heard you talking to Alex you thought in your mind.

"What? Seriously Tom" you smiled and shook your head. He is my manager and he's like an elder brother, a mentor to me. Why even am I clarifying to you? You don't owe me anything so just leave if you don't have anything else to say."

 "I just came to say that stay away from El. She is my fiance."

 "Yeah I know she is your fiance you posted it on Instagram dufus. I even congratulated you and I had expected a thank you from your side but never mind. "

 It was three months ago you were at your LA residence enjoying an off day. You were scrolling through your Instagram. When you saw the post with the caption she said yes❤️💍. Even after your breakup you guys followed each other to avoid any kind of gossip by the tabloids. You both were very private person so you never went official with your relationship but there were rumours of you two being together which eventually died down. For the first few minutes you didn't know how to react to the whole thing. The life you once imagined for yourselves he is living it but you are no more in it. Your eyes welled up but you overcame your emotions and felt happy that at least one of you is finally going to be happy in life. You liked the picture and commented congratulations🎊❤️❤️❤️.

  "And I also know that she doesn't know about me. Why didn't you tell her about me? Scared of the feelings you still have for me huh?" You smirked

 "Just shut up Y/N. I hate you and that's never gonna change. And you are not gonna tell her anything okay!"

 "But I love you Tommy." You grinned

 Tom scoffed, rolling his eyes and frustrated he started to walk away.

 You called him back "Oi!! Don't worry I'm not gonna tell her anything but I'll still advise you to go and tell her. It will be better and less awkward if she gets to know it from you rather than from anyone else. Trust is the foundation of a relationship, don't break it."

 "Look who is talking about trust and relationships. It's our matter, we can handle it, don't need your advice."

 "Okay cool" you gave a thumbs up

 You really felt exhausted after the whole conversation putting up a no care attitude was really hard as you were totally bothered by the whole ordeal.

………………

 After you and Zendaya finished unpacking your stuff she was exhausted and so decided to get some rest. You on the other hand decided to go for a stroll near the cliff. It was one of your favorite places to go. That place gave you peace and tranquility. You slid your sling bag around your shoulder and put your lyrics notebook inside it. You used to always carry that everywhere whenever you get an idea you note it down in it. You walked along the seashore feeling the cool sea breeze all over your body. You reached the cliff and took a deep breath standing on the edge. You looked over the sea the sun was setting with a golden and orange hue spread across the horizon. It was enchanting. Suddenly some ideas started coming in your head so you took out your notebook and started scribbling on it.

 "What'cha writing?" You were startled by the question you looked back to see Tom climbing the cliff towards you

 "What came to push me down the cliff?" You asked sarcastically

 He rolled his eyes "no seriously what are you writing?"

 "It's none of your business "

 "Come on you can tell me about your new song"

 "I can but first tell me what happens in Avengers 5?"

 Tom shook his head and laughed

 "What?! I'm serious I really can't wait for the movie. Are you bringing back Tony Stark or not. I still cry watching endgame."

"Marvel still doesn't trust me so can't say" he laughed as he took a deep breath and said "I really like this place".

 "Yeah me too"

 "I'm really happy that you came Y/N everyone missed you for the past years"

"And what about you?"

 "Yeah I also did a little." You both smiled.

 You are still confused at what Tom is trying to do. A few moments ago he was being all so mean and rude to you that you were almost about to have a breakdown and now he is here telling you that he missed you. What game are you trying to play with my mind Holland you thought.

You were looking away as Tom stole a glance of you. He really felt guilty, he wanted to apologize for his behavior but showing his anger towards you he thought was the only way to stay far from you. He had a lot of things to say to you but didn't know how to say he missed the time when he could say you everything without any hesitation but now things seemed very complicated for both of you.

 "By the way you look beautiful with long hair. It suits you. "

 You felt a warmth rising in your cheeks as you blushed. You tucked in the stray hair strands flying in the sea breeze behind your ear.

"Umm thanks you look handsome too as always." You smiled awkwardly

 Both looked at each other for a moment then you broke the silence "umm okay then I think I should get going see you around"

 "Yeah sure" Tom nodded

 You turned to go as Tom called you "Y/N! I'm really happy for you. I really am."

 You turned and smiled softly "the feeling is mutual Holland".

Taglists: to be added send a message or ask I'll be happy to add you in the following chapters.

@sophs-library​ @sleepybesson​ @spideyparkerstark​ @itstaskeen​ @milli86​

 @astridcommings

[keith-the-hoe]

The Glimmer Hoes Master Plan| Crack Fanfic Mini Series

Episode One: [X]

Episode Two: [X]

Episode Three: [X]

Episode Four: [X]

Episode Five: Slaughter House

Warnings:

This whole thing is plain stupid and a waste of time. It may contain violence, sex scenes and a shit ton of no no words. Do not read if you are a five year old. No but seriously, do not read if you are under age. Lolz.

Writer's notes: Oh wowie! This is the last episode of this crack fanfic. What a crazy ride! I have no idea where this is going lead to so it's probably going to leave you in a long state of confusion. This one is going to be just slightly longer than the previous episodes so I'm sorry about that lolz. Thank you for reading this messed up story. Have fun.

------------------

Cast:

Mick Jagger

Keith Richards

Charlie Watts

Bill Wyman

Robert Plant

Jimmy Page

David Bowie

Ronnie Wood

--------------------------

"All aboard! Next stop, the cat house!"

A tall man with curly blonde hair yelled from across the balcony. Charlie happened to be the dumb whore who woke up first. He heard the man yelling which angered him so much. The other hoes were still asleep so he quietly leaped over Bill and headed out to the patio. He spotted the dumbass who was yelling a bunch of nonsense.

"Leave them be...." A sickly voice came from behind Charlie. He quickly turned to look only to see a pale Mick sitting on the floor covered in blood. Charlie's eyes widen and began to fear for his life. Mick's eyes were all droopy and looked right at Charlie.

"Wot in bloody hell have you done Mick!?" He yelled in fear. Mick took a deep breath.

"I didn't do a damn thing!" Mick responded. "Those damn bastards attacked me!" He pointed at the man with curly hair and another one with dark hair. They were both tossing random shit into the pool to see if the item would float. Charlie was utterly confused. He looked back at Mick.

"Sweet mother of God dad shoes penis plant....." Charlie said he just shook his head in pure disappointment. The whore of The Rolling Stones let two other whores of Led Zeppelin beat the shit of him? How did that even work? He just wanted to go home. Keef came out of the room and spotted Mick on the floor. 

“WOT IN BLOODY HELL HAPPENED TO YOU MICK!?!” Keef yelled sounding very worried. Mick just slowly looked up at him. He was extremely hungry but did not want to slaughter anyone in front of his buddies so he made up the lie that Robert Whore Plant and Satanist James Patrick Page had beaten him up. Keef went up to the two to give them a piece of his monkey mind. “Hey douchbags!” As soon as one of them turned to look at him, Keith swung his arm and punched the side of Robert’s jaw causing him to fall into the pool. Hope he can swim. 

“Oh! You FOOKING monkey! You just knocked my fuck buddie into the damn pool!” Jimmy yelled sounding pretty darn pissed. Keef body slammed him into the pool and began to attack him. Charlie just stood there watching him embarrass the fuck out of himself. He turned to look at Mick and noticed his was no longer there. He looked around and did not spot him anywhere. Bill came out of the room and saw Charlie panicking. 

“Yo mate? Wot’s up with you now huh?” He asked as he spotted Keith attacking the two Led Zeppelin members. He was not going to question what he was even trying to achieve. 

“Mick went missing!” Charlie responded. Bill rolled his eyes. Now he was confused on why he is freaking out about the whore being missing. Sometimes he just did not understand Charlie. Keith had unsuccessfully drowned both members. Jimmy got away to alarm the other two that there is a mad monkey trying to kill them. Damn he just wanted to defend his buddy. Fuckin’ whores. Good thing no one actually likes Led Zeppelin. He went back to Bill and Charlie. He noticed Mick wasn’t with them so he went into panic mode.

“W-where did Mick go!?” He asked. Bill and Charlie just shrugged. The three heard screaming coming from a room that was across from where they were. 

“HELP! Mick Jagger is trying to kill me!” The screaming came from a woman. The three lads ran to the room. Mick was laying on a bed with a blade in his hand. 

“Mick! You fooking wanker! You’re scarring the poor girl!” Keith scolded Mick. Charlie was absolutely done with the glimmer hoes. He wondered when they would break up the band and part ways. It seemed to him that will not happen any time soon. Keith carried Mick out of the room. “Jesus mate! The hell’s up with you huh? You’ve been acting all strange.” He asked as he took him to their room. Mick’s faded blue eyes looked right at Keith’s dark eyes. He seriously needed food. 

“I....I-” He spat out. 

“You wot?” Keith cut him off. Mick was trying to gather his words but was too weak for it. Instead, he pointed at the door. Keith looked at him confused. “You wanna go outside?” he asked. Mick nodded in response. 

“Jesus! Well let’s get to it! I am so sick and tired of this hell hole!” Charlie said angrily. Keith stuck his tongue out at him. Mick wrapped himself in a blanket and Keith carried him out. The Rolling Stones hopped in the van that was vandalized not by Led Zeppelin but by The Who. Charlie was mad. “Oh! Those fucking ratatouille bastards!” They began to drive.

It has been quite a while since they had left the motel. They haven’t made any stops. Not even for bathroom breaks. Mick just kept staring at Keith’s monkey face. To him, it was like the most beautiful face in the entire world. Charlie put some tunes on the radio. A song by Led Zeppelin was playing which drove Charlie into road rage. He began to drive past cars, crash into them, drive them off of places and all sorts of other dumb shit. Bill, who was sitting next to him eating cheeseballs that he had found in one of Keith’s trousers, turned off the radio. He looked at Charlie with a scared look. 

“The hell was that for!?” He asked. Charlie just sat there trying to figure out why he just did that. Honestly, no one had a clue. The sun was starting to set but Charlie was not going to stop driving. He was going to keep on going until they found a house that belonged to them. Only problem was, it was way too far away from where they were settling in. Mick gently ran his fingers through Keith’s hair. He just looked at Mick’s arm with a confused look. Mick looked very sick which began to worry him a bit. 

“Hey buddy, don’t you worry about a damn thing, we’ll get you somewhere safe.” He said softly. He also noticed that Mick had a hungry look in his face. An idea sparked in his head. “Hey Mick! I have some cheeseballs you could eat!” He said as he searched for them. “Uh guys? Where did I put my cheeseballs?” Bill was eating them. He put them away before anyone noticed. “Ah darn! That was my only food :(” Keith said sounding upset. 

"I don't need food," Mick said in a scratchy voice. Keith just looked at him confused.

"How do you not need it? You haven't ate anything since you came back to us..... C'mon man, you gotta eat something...." Keith said in a worried way. Mick just shook his head. He was indeed hungry but for human meat. He wasn't going to tell him that he wanted to eat humans. It would scare the living shit out of him. Charlie aggressively stepped on the breaks and caused the glimmer hoes to fly off of their seats. Dammit just wear your damn seatbelts you fucking dumbass! Jesus I hate this world! Bill looked at Charlie.

"Why did you stop in the middle of the bloody road!?" He yelled. Charlie pointed at a man with a red mullet and a lot of makeup. He stood there in front of the van. Mick looked out the windshield. He couldn't believe it.

"David!?" Keith yelled. "Wot in bloody hell are you doing here!?" David just slowly walked up to the door.

"Can I get a lift?" He asked. Mick quickly opened the door and pulled Bowie in. He gave him a tight hug and began to sob. The other hoes were confused as fuck.

"Oh David! I thought I'd never see you again!" Mick said as he cried tears of joy. Bowie hugged him back and gave him a couple pats on his back. Oh Keefey got so jelly of them.

"Seriously David, wot the fuck are you doing here?" Keef asked in an annoyed way.

"Jesus mate, just need a bloody ride to go to Ronno's bathroom house," He responded. Keef just rolled his eyes at him. Charlie began to drive. There is no way he is going to stop by at a guy's house. He hates everyone and just wants to go home.

Mick and David spent most of the trip cuddling with each other and whispering sweet nothings in their ears. Keef sat there watching them with his arms crossed. He could not believe that Bowie just stole his underwear hoe. Oh wait.... Mick doesn't wear those..... Sorry lolz. He got irritated at him that he attempted to shove him out of the van. Mick got so angry at him for doing that.

"Fuck off Monket! The hell is wrong with you!? Just leave him be you whore!" Mick yelled. Keef felt his heart shatter a little. Mick had replaced him with the alien whore. His vision began to water up. He turned away from them both and silently cried. Way to go Mick! Charlie was so done with them. He felt a hand run up to his crotch. He jumped and smacked it.

"Owie mate!" Bill yelled in response. Charlie just looked at him with a scared look. I swear to God he just wants to go home! Mick and David fell on top of Keef and began to make out. The fall caused Keef to die for a little bit.

"No! Not in here!" Charlie yelled as he took a sharp turn. They both flew out of their seats. Haha dumb fucks.

The Rolling Stones and David, had arrived at a cabin that was located in a Wal-Mart's bathroom.

"Pretty darn neat," David said. Mick just skilled at him and held his hand as they made their way into the house. Mick slipped in black paint and fell in the Home Alone style. Lolz. Nobody cared enough to help so they just all went to their bedrooms. Although Bill has his own room, he went to sleep with Charlie. Mick and Bowie went to sleep in their bedroom. Keef just stayed in the living room drinking fish oil and gas.

Bowie and Mick were cuddling together in bed. They both were hella horny so they began to touch each other and grind on one another. Bowie kissed him with tongue. He was quite tasty. They eventually ended up screwing each other and stared at the ceiling. Mick began to thirst over Bowie. He hovered over him and caressed his beautiful face. He began to kiss his neck. He sniffed it too and licked it. Bowie was enjoying it. Mick bit his neck and began to nibble on the meat. Bowie screamed in a lot of pain. Mick took a huge bite out of his neck and chewed on it. Bowie died. He then ate his brain and his toes.

"I'm sorry Davey....." Mick whispered to him. "I need to keep myself alive. He got off of his bed and headed out to the door. He looked around to see if anyone was around the living room. He didn't spot anyone so he headed to Charlie's room. Mick silently opened the door. Charlie and Bill were asleep. He slowly approached them as he licked his lips. "Oh you both look so delicious...." He whispered. Bill felt Mick getting closer. His eyes snapped open and saw Mick about to eat him.

"WOT ARE YOU DOING!?" He yelled as he kicked Mick off of the bed. That angered him and began to chase Bill around the room. Charlie woke up and saw them both running around. "Charlie! This whore wants to devour me!!" Bill yelled. Mick hissed at Charlie and targeted him. Bill threw a vase at him and took Charlie out of the room. They both went to get Keef to alarm him about Mick. Keef joined their escape plan. The three of them hopped in the van and tried to turn the engine on. All it did was make the engine do weird coughing sounds. The van was down. The three ran into the forest to hide from Mick. Keef saw him in the distance.

"Oh bloody hell! He's right behind us!" Keef yelled. They began to run faster. Mick was running after Bill. He ran as fast he could but unfortunately he tripped over a tree branch and twisted his ankle. Charlie turned to look at him. He panicked and was about to run to help him. Mick got to him before he could and ate his intestines and penis.

"NO!" Charlie yelled. He continued running to help him. Keef stopped Charlie before he could get to them.

"Don't! We gotta go! There's nothing we can do about it! Freddie said so in a song!" Keef yelled as he pulled Charlie away from them. He kept screaming for Bill and began to cry. They ran pretty far from Mick. They found a random abandoned shack and hid there. Charlie laid on the floor crying his eyes out. Keef went to him and tried to comfort him.

"There there buddy....." He began, "I know you loved him but there's nothing we can do..... Everything's going to be okay." Charlie shook his head. He could not believe that he saw his own bestie die in front of him. They heard footsteps out side. Keef peaked out of the window. Mick was around the area looking for them. Keef warned Charlie to keep quiet.

"Keef?" Mick said in a sad voice. "Keef c'mon.... I didn't mean to do that. You know me better than anyone else that I would never hurt anyone. I don't know wot happened. Keef please come out here and sing a song together."

Keith's eyes began to tear up. He searched around the shack to find some sort of weapon. He didn't want to kill his whore. He's known him for so long. He could even recognize the Mick that was outside of the shack. Mick heard footsteps approaching him and enabled his fightey mode. A man with a big nose attacked him. He hissed and fought him back. Keith quickly looked out the window and saw them both fighting. He could not believe it. Big Nose Whore put Mick down and began to stab him. Mick yelled in pain. Keith saw Big Nose stab him a couple more times until Mick's yelling stopped. Keith ran outside to them.

"R-Ron!?" He stuttered. "How did you find us!?" Ronnie just looked him. He stood up and took underwear out of his trousers.

"I used these to track you guys down and saw Mick killing Bill," He explained. "Wow! You Rolling Stones are super ugly and wild!"

Keith just stood there annoyed. He thought he had died in that giant explosion with Rod. Guess he was glad he was alive. Charlie came out of the shack and saw him. He was hella disappointed. Why did he have to come back? He didn't even matter that much.

"Oh well hello Charlie!" Ronnie said with a smile. No. He was not going to say hello to him back. Keith placed his arm around Ron and pulled him closer to him.

"Glad to have ya back Ron....." He added. Ronnie just smiled widely.

The three began to make their way back to the cabin. Charlie started to get bad vibes from Ron. Once they stepped inside, Ronnie closed the door and locked it. Keef and Charlie looked at him. They noticed that his eyes were also faded into a light blue shade. They both began to fear for their lives. Charlie pushed Keef and told him to run. Ronnie hissed and attacked Charlie.

"CHARLIE NO!" Keef yelled. He watched Ron slaughter Charlie up and ran out the window. Ronnie ran after him. They both kept running into the woods. Ron caught up to the monkey and managed to bite his foot. Keef fell and yelled in pain. He tried to escape from his grip. He spotted a pretty sharp branch. He stretched his arm out to grab it. Once he was able to get it, he used it to stab Ronnie. He stabbed him to death. He was in so much pain. Keef managed to crawl pretty far from the woods. He didn't think he was going to survive at all considering his foot was gone and was bleeding a lot.

Keith arrived at the police station. He was too weak to open the door so he laid in front of it. Hours passed by, a young man with long brown hair stepped out of the building and almost tripped over Keith. He saw him laying there unconsciously.

"Guys! Keith Richards is on the ground!" He yelled at the police cops. Fuck them Jesus I hate em. Two officers came out and saw Keith, who was pale and had faded blue eyes.

"No way!" One of them began, "Its the fucking guitarist of The Rolling Stones!"

Keith began to blink and spotted them fangirling over him. He began to thirst over them. He reached out to grab one of their legs and bit it. They all began to scream in fear. Keith managed to eat the other two. He sat there on the steps finishing up his meal. A short blonde man approached him. He was also pale and had faded blue eyes. He sat next to him.

"Well Richards....." He began, "You ate the three of them on your own?"

Keith just chuckled in response. "Hell yeah I did." The small one reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He offered one to Keef and lit it for him. They just both looked up at the sunny sky.

"You ready to begin your next slaughter house?" He asked. Keith blew out a cloud of smoke.

"You know it Jones," they both chuckled and gave each other a high five. Their zombie love began to grow.

writer's notes: Oh sweet Jesus! I have no idea what I just wrote! this is pretty damn stupid and weird. well it is called crack fanfic for a reason. lol zombies wtf is that? hope you guys enjoyed reading this stupid fanfic. also thank you for reading lolz.

[cynicallystiles]

Seasons of Love: The One with How They Met

Disclaimer: Moodboard made by me. Pictures found on Google!

Author: @cynicallystiles

Request: @itrocksmysocks​ basically requested this by making me obsessed with the triplets a year ago.

Warning: Swearing maybe.

Notes: The long awaited series is here! The whole thing still isn’t finished ahead of time like I wanted. So, we’ll see if I actually stay on schedule with this one. Credit to @thotmendes​ for imagining the triplets into existence about a year ago! Thanks for your patience! Please COMMENT/REBLOG if you enjoy it!

Pairing: Kallie Hayes (OC) x Mendes Triplets

Masterlist Series Masterlist

SOL Teaser Chapter Two

Words: ~3.5k

Anais Nin once said, "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."

The first encounter Kallie had with the triplets was a memorable one. This could be because she didn't know they were triplets. She had just moved to town with her family and started her first day in the middle of October.

Kallie was just eight or nine years old, but she was nervous about starting a new school way behind the other kids. Once her parents dropped her off with the principal, she was led to a small classroom. The teacher smiled brightly as he welcomed her in.

"Hello! It's very nice to meet you..." he trailed off, expecting her to reply. Her gaze was anxiously flitting around to all the other students staring at her curiously. So, he cleared his throat.

With a slight jump, she whipped her head back to him. "Kallie, sir." She held out her little hand and gave him a firm shake. Well, as firm as an eight-year-old could give an old person with hands the size of baseball gloves.

"You're very polite! I can't wait to meet your parents," he beamed at her, not noticing the small flinch of her eye. Things don't always go nicely when her parents come to school. It's why she's always on her best behavior. "Well, I'm Mr. Flannigan."

He stood up straight and turned toward the class with a smile that was bright against his tan skin. "Class...this is Kalliope Hayes." So, he already knew her full name before she came into the room?

There was a pause as the students ceremoniously said, "Hi, Kalliope!"

Mr. Flannigan nodded as if the response was what he wanted. "Kalliope, why don't you tell us three fun things about yourself, and then we'll go into the lesson plan for today?"

Funny. He phrased it as if it were a question. But, when adults ask questions like that, they're more likely strong suggestions. So, she took one step forward and cleared her throat.

"Hi," she squeaked out. "My full name is Kalliope but I like Kallie better. Three things about me are..." She stalled a moment, forgetting every single fun thing about her. "Uh...I like bike riding...I'm really good at holding my breath!...and...I've never ice skated?"

Her green eyes look up to the teacher for approval as everyone claps politely. He's about to point to her seat when a small voice cuts him off. "How long??"

"Huh?" She asks as she scans the other kids for the voice.

The boy in the last row, second from her right and wearing a forest green hoodie peers past the rest of the students. "You said you're really good at holding your breath! How long?"

"Um, like, thirty-five seconds? I think," she responds uncertainly. It's been a while since the last time she had her sister time her. His brown eyes stare at her for a moment longer.

Then, he nods. "Nice." He grins at her in approval. She smiles a little wider in response and Mr. Flannigan tells her to take the only open seat left.

She walks toward the back, finding the open seat next to the kid who had questioned her breath-holding skills. As Mr. Flannigan starts the lesson plan, the boy leans over and offers his hand.

"I'm Shawn!" The eagerness of his voice makes her relax. Maybe she just made her first friend here. She takes his hand and shakes it a little. "Let's make up a secret handshake later at recess, okay?" She nods enthusiastically before they turn forward in their seats to pay attention.

Later at recess, Shawn and Kallie are standing under one of the shady trees on the playground, mixing an unnecessary amount of steps to their secret friendship handshake.

"Hey, Shawn! Come play tag!" Some other kids begin to call him to play games with them.

He looks over at Kallie. "Wanna come play?"

"No, thanks," she shakes her head causing her light brown hair to rustle in the wind, "I don't really like tag." He shrugs and squints at her a little, but accepts her answer before running off to join the game.

She decides to take a stroll along the fence to see if she could find some cool rocks to take home for the new garden her parents were gonna plant. As she does, she sees a boy crouched down with his hands cupped around something. He's wearing a jean jacket over his white T-shirt.

As she approaches, she calls out excitedly, "Watchya got in your hand?" The boy startles, his hands opening to let a frog jump out. He hurriedly reaches out and catches it again as Kallie takes a step back. She notes how carefully he cups his hand around it.

"A frog," he says plainly and he sounds slightly similar to...who does he sound like?

Her face contorts in minor disgust. "Why?" Is all she asks. When he turns to look at her, her eyebrows knit together in confusion. "I thought you went to play tag!"

"What?" He asks in genuine ignorance.

She looks him over and her brows come even closer together. "How did you change your clothes so fast, Shawn?"

"I'm not Shawn," he rolls his eyes with a sigh.

"What do you mean? You said your name was Shawn in class today," she reminds him.

He silently sticks his tiny closed fist through the fence to release the frog toward its home. Standing up, he wipes his hand on his jeans. "That's my brother. I'm Raul." He sticks out his frog contaminated hand.

"Oh, so you're like twins?" She swallows her squeamishness and shakes his hand quickly, then wipes it on the back of her shorts.

He shrugs. "You could say that." With that, he walks past her without another word. She turns and watches him run to another group of kids who are playing on the monkey bars.

She heads back to the tree, collapsing against its bark to enjoy the rest of recess. Her relaxing doesn't last long as something drops into her lap from above. "Ow!" She exclaims and opens her eyes to find a notebook in her lap.

"Sorry!" A voice calls out from above. She looks up quickly and finds an increasingly familiar face looking down at her.

His puppy dog eyes match his apologetic smile. Kallie sighs deeply. "Now, when did you get up there??" She was seriously starting to think she'd never woken up this morning.

"I've been here all recess!" He replies with an adorable smile. "Can you hand that back to me?" He asks, laying on his stomach to reach down.

She stands, stretching on her tiptoes to hand it back. Kallie then sees that he's wearing neither a green hoodie nor a jean jacket. Instead, he's wearing a blue, plaid button-up shirt. She frowns. "Don't tell me there's another one of you?"

"Huh?" He quirks his eyebrow for a moment. "Oh! You mean my brothers! Shawn and Raul?" She nods, but in her mind, she hopes it stops at three. Already, she could tell she'd never be able to tell them apart. "I'm Peter!"

"Why are you in a tree with a notebook?"

"It keeps me from getting hit by the dodgeballs while I'm trying to draw." He scrunches up his face like it's obvious. "Duh," he adds on.

The apparent obviousness of the statement makes her giggle. "What are you drawing?" She asks curiously.

He pauses for a long moment, sizing her up. Then, an adorable grin spreads across his lips. "Climb up here, and I'll show you," he half-invites, half-challenges her.

"Okay!" Without hesitation, she rolls the sleeves up on her Princess Belle shirt and scales the tree with only minimal effort.

Peter watches her settle in on the branch next to him in awe. "That was really fast!"

"Thanks!" She beams at him. "My sister can't climb so when she chases me with gross stuff I had to find somewhere to hide," she informs him happily.

He laughs and scoots next to her as he opens his notebook across both of their laps. Slowly, he flips through the pages to show her the different drawings. "These are really good!" She compliments him.

"Really?" He asks shyly. Kallie nods vigorously and continues to marvel at the sketches. Peter smiles and watches her admire his work for a few minutes more.

But, they're not alone for much longer. "Kallie? Where'd you go?" She looks over the notebook below them. Shawn is looking around the base of the tree.

"Up here!" She giggles. His head turns toward the sound of her voice. "Peter was showing me some drawings!"

Shawn covers the urge to frown with a bright smile. "Come down! We gotta finish our super-secret handshake before recess is over," he reminds her.

"One second!" She calls down and turns to Peter. "I gotta go. Thanks for letting me see your notebook!" Then, she carefully climbs down the tree.

Once she hops onto the ground, Shawn slings an arm around her shoulders as he leads her away. "Our handshake is gonna be so awesome! And it'll be just for us! You know what else? You can come with me and my family to our lake house to ice skate in the winter since you've never been!" He chatters happily as he leads her further away from Peter.

From that day on, the two of them were inseparable. That day was the first time the boys had gotten jealous or competitive over Kallie. But, it wasn't the last.

It was disorienting at first, never knowing who was who. Except for Shawn, of course. Kallie could always tell which one was Shawn because out of the three, those two were the ones joined at the hip. Not to say that she didn't grow close with the rest of the boys. Just that Shawn was who she was close with first.

Throughout the years, they were like the Four Musketeers. Getting into all kinds of trouble and mischief. They enjoyed the best of their times throughout the year at the Mendes' cabin in the Muskoka Lake District. Since the very first year they became friends, their parents were kind enough to bring her along on all of their little trips.

Occasionally, her parents and sister came along. Which was nice because a majority of the other parents didn't take kindly to hers. She loved that they were so kind and included them in their trips. That cabin became like a lifeline to them as the years wore on.

They shared every holiday, celebrated every event, and recovered from unexpected hard times at that cabin. Christmas time? They went to the cabin. Someone's birthday? The cabin was there. The worst time of their lives? The cabin saw that too.

The four of them could never imagine not having that cabin, or each other to get through life. Which is why it hurt all the more when they got the news. After graduating high school, the four of them went on to university. Together.

While they all had different majors, it was hard to find time for each other at first. So, they made it a rule to have dinner every Saturday night at one of their dorms. Rotating between them as hosts to the gathering. Which became easier when they all moved in together after the first two years of having to live in the dorms. They were now coming off of their third year of university with one left to go.

As the four of them piled into Shawn's Jeep for the trip home with their bags stuffed in the back, excitement floated through the air to finally be able to relax for a time before heading back to Toronto for the most important year of schoolwork.

"Shotgun!" Kallie, Peter, and Raul call at the same time as they race toward the front seat.

The three slam into the side of the vehicle with laughter. Looking to Shawn to be the referee, he rolls his eyes. "Kallie got there first," he chuckles.

"C'mon!" Peter groans.

"You always let her have it," Raul mumbles as he slides into the backseat.

"My Jeep, my rules," Shawn shrugs and buckles into the driver's seat with a chuckle.

Kallie happily hops into the front seat, smiling at Shawn before turning to grab her seatbelt. "Thank you!" As she buckles it, she exchanges a secret glance with Shawn and he winks at her.

"Anytime," he responds as she bites her bottom lip to contain her laugh.

With that, the four set off toward home. Well, more like toward the cabin. They were planning on stopping at their houses to see their families first and then spend the rest of the summer in Muskoka.

Half an hour later, the boys drop Kallie off at her parents' house before heading down the street to theirs. "Dinner at ours at six?" Peter confirms as she grabs her bags out of the back.

"Mhm," she replies and walks around to his window, while Raul gets out and gets in the front seat. "And then breakfast at mine at ten tomorrow?"

He nods with a grin. "We'll be here!" She mumbles a 'perfect' and leans through the window to kiss his cheek and he kisses hers at the same time, something they've gotten in the habit of doing when they part ways. Shawn shifts his grip on the steering wheel as he watches them in the mirror.

"See you tonight!" Raul calls as his eyes trail after her, lower than they should be when she disappears into her house. Shawn reaches over and slaps the back of his head. "Ow!!" He rubs the new sore spot with a chuckle as Shawn pulls away from the curb.

Later, as promised, she enters the Mendes household as if she lives there. She's right on time for dinner, but it's unusually quiet around the house. "Hello?"

"In here!" Someone calls after a long moment of silence.

Kallie makes her way into the living room where the brothers are seated on the couch. "Hey! What's going on? Why is it so quiet?" She questions as she sits in between Shawn and Peter's legs, stretching her own across Peter's lap and resting her feet in Raul's.

"Mom has news," Shawn says surprisingly seriously. It's then that Kallie notices the shock on their faces and that Karen is sitting in one of the other chairs.

She leans her torso back into Shawn and shrugs. "What is it? Bad news?" They nod and she looks at Karen as she takes a deep breath.

"Well, sweetie," she begins sweetly. "As I've just finished telling the boys..." she pauses, gathering the strength to tell her. "We've decided to sell the cabin."

Kallie's expression falls into the same shock that the boys wear and she feels like her whole body goes numb. "Wh-no. H-how...why-no!" She finally stutters out.

"I'm sorry. I really am. I know how much that cabin means to you all," she sighs. "But...we just can't afford to keep up with it year-round anymore. Especially, since we haven't been back since you all were in high school."

Her eyebrows furrow together in confusion. "Wha..." she breathes out, unable to think straight. To stop her mind from spinning, she focuses on the things around her.

Like the feel of Shawn's heartbeat against her back and the rhythm of his breathing. Like the goosebumps on her legs caused by Peter lightly tracing his fingers over her knees. Like the cold metal of Raul's rings as he squeezes her ankles comfortingly.

"When are you selling it?" Raul asks, taking charge of the situation. It's something he tends to do as the oldest of the three brothers. When things get tough, he steps in to steady everyone.

Karen shrugs. "We haven't found a buyer yet."

"Well," he sighs. "Then, we're still gonna go out for the summer. And every chance we get until you sell it. We can clean and pack up stuff along the way."

She smiles gratefully at him. "Thank you, honey. I hope you all enjoy the summer there...you deserve it before your last year at university!" She smiles, the tension slightly diffused but not dissipated. "Dinner will be ready soon."

Then, she silently heads to the kitchen to leave the four of them alone. Kallie shifts her body to stand up and face the boys. One hand goes to her hip as her eyes train on the carpet. With the other, she pushes some loose strands of hair behind her ear.

"I'm gonna..." she trails off, not having any words. "I'll be outside," she whispers and immediately exits the room.

Shawn leans forward to stand up. "I'll get her-"

"No. Lemme handle it," Raul interrupts and follows her without another word.

Sitting back down defeatedly, Shawn looks at Peter. "The hell was that about? Thought I was her best friend..." he grumbles.

"We're all best friends," Peter reminds him. "Besides...they have been closer since the twelfth grade." He shrugs and pulls his sketchbook out of his bag.

Shawn's brows crease together and then rise on his forehead. "You don't think they're-" He stops himself short because he doesn't even want to go there.

"What?" Peter looks up from the sketch he's working on. His face falls flat when he sees Shawn's panicked look. "Oh my god! They're not. Raul isn't even Kallie's type," he scoffs and focuses on the bright green irises he's drawing, only slightly concerned that Shawn may be right.

Shawn twists his features into an offended sort of confusion. "Her type? We all have the same face!"

"Yeah, but none of us are dating her...are we?" Peter scoffs dismissively.

"No," Shawn grumbles as he sinks further into the couch and crosses his arms grumpily.

Raul steps out onto the porch, barely squinting his eyes at the now-setting sun. Kallie's ash brown hair catches the light stunningly, almost as if it were milk chocolate silk. The red undertones give her hair a cinnamon-like shine you can only see under the sun. He sits next to her on the top step as she hugs her knees to her chest and rests her chin there.

He doesn't say anything as he leans back, letting his palms press into the wood. Time ticks by and he doesn't talk. She doesn't talk. Her body just slowly tips toward Raul until she's collapsed into his side. He feels her sigh heavily and he scoots closer to circle his arm around her waist.

"This isn't the end of the world," he promises like he always does when she gets like this. She huffs, annoyed that he seems to always downplay her sadness at first. "I'm serious."

She sits up, turning on the step to stare at him direly. "Oh, are you? I couldn't tell," she deadpans. "I know it's not the end of the world, Raul...that doesn't mean this all still doesn't suck," she murmurs as her hands move to her words.

"Life's allowed to suck," he chuckles. She watches the light dance in his hazel eyes and sighs. "You're even allowed to wallow about it," he continues.

She throws herself into his lap dramatically. "Then, let me wallowwww," she whines playfully. He rests his arm across her torso.

"But-"

"No...no buts," she begs as she turns her face into his stomach to hide. She curls her legs up until she's almost in a ball on her side.

Raul gently strokes her back. "But," he says pointedly, "you're not allowed to wallow forever. Eventually, you have to pull on your big girl pants and show life who it's messing with."

"You're so lame," she laughs and ventures a peek up at him.

He tilts his head and smiles smugly. "Got you to laugh didn't I?" She nods slightly. "I know how much the cabin means to you. It means that much to all of us," he soothes her.

"I somehow always forget that you guys feel it too," she whispers.

Raul moves his hand to brush her hair out of her face. "I'll make you a deal," he begins. Her attention peaks because he always offers her the same deal and she'd never pass it up. No matter what it is. "Suck it up for now. You can wallow when the place is actually sold."

"What do I get for pulling on my big girl pants?" She challenges.

He scrunches up his face in obvious sarcasm. "What do you always get?"

"Prom night?" She replies hopefully.

"Prom night," he confirms mischievously.

[athenril-of-kirkwall]

HEY YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WERE ACTUALLY WRITING BLACKWALL/CASSANDRA! YOU DARK HORSE! XD Well now I definitely need me some "Grace, Dark, Holding" for Baewall and Cass! xoxo

Hoho! Got you by surprise there, didn’t I? Figured since nobody else was writing them, I’d step up to the plate :D

Blackwall/Cassandra, “Dancing in the Dark” (AO3)

The Winter Palace.

“Ugh,” Cassandra groaned as she stepped out onto the balcony.

“What’s the matter?”, Blackwall asked, looking out into the night sky.

“As though we have not had enough maudlin drama this evening already, I had the misfortune of walking in on our beloved Inquisitor and Solas being sickeningly sentimental,” she said as she joined him on leaning on the parapet.

“Why, Lady Seeker,” he said, “you sound envious.”

Groaning again, she turned to him, unamused. “Ever with the clever comments, Blackwall. When we first met, I thought you a completely different individual.”

“Oh?”

She explained, “The perfect picture of the stolid, honour- and duty-bound Grey Warden, with perhaps the rare ironic statement. Now, as it turns out…”

“Yes?”

“…you really are no better than the comedians the Inquisition seems to attract. I shudder to think what terrible foolishness Sera would have unleashed upon the collective Orlesian nobility, for example.”

“Here I thought you would have approved,” Blackwall said. “You’ve never had a kind thing to say about all this poncery and artifice, have you?”

“I suppose not. But at the expense of the Inquisition’s reputation…”

“One could argue that it would simply playing the Game with different rules, such as the former Grand Duke’s affectations of gruff rejection of the whole thing.”

Rolling her eyes, Cassandra retorted, “Or one could reject that for the sophistry that it is, given that I see very little diplomatic or political point to shoving an open jar of bees down a marquis’ breeches. Oh, stop smirking. As though you’ve never considered it, either.”

“You see, Lady Seeker,” Blackwall said mirthfully, “you can keep up with the best of us.”

“Maker help us all if I ever did. Someone like Sera, who cannot even explain one of her demented plans without breaking into laughter over her own cleverness, anyone could see a mile coming, Blackwall. Who in this age would ever expect me to come up behind someone and pull their trousers to their ankles?”

Blinking, he said, “Maker’s balls, you’re right. Perhaps you should corner the market on the grim and stolid types.”

“But seriously, Blackwall,” Cassandra asked, “How do you manage it?”

“Manage what, milady?”

She shifted on her foot, choosing her words carefully. “Manage to…switch between modes. Many whom I know have said that there is no difference between my public and private personas. That I present such a stark image of myself in both spheres that it is impossible to imagine any other side to my character. And yet…”

“And yet?”

Staring down at the gardens, she said, “And yet, you at first were not so different, but in your time here you have seen fit to reveal your…well, shall we say, more spontaneous side to us, your companions.”

Turning himself around so that they were now both leaning away from the Winter Palace, Blackwall faced Cassandra, asking, “So, the Lady Seeker’s one weakness, the one flaw in her shield, is that she lacks spontaneity?”

She stared him coldly in the eyes. “Warden Blackwall, I assure you that if I wished to seek out mockery, I would gladly subject myself to the mercies of whatever Varric has planned for me back in Skyhold.”

“No mockery, none at all,” he said gently. “Unsurprising at it may be to you, it certainly numbers low amongst many people’s evaluations of your…imposing stature.”

“Yes,” she muttered, “quite so. I know I can confess this to you given that you have proven the height of discretion, if not necessarily sombreness.”

“A secret between two, milady, is a secret broken. Shall we put your spontaneity to the test, Lady Seeker?” Blackwall asked, stepping away from the parapet.

“Should I be concerned?” she retorted, suspiciously.

“Not at all.” Clearing his breath, Blackwall performed a perfect Orlesian bow, asking her, “I believe the band is playing on into the night. Lady Cassandra, may I have this dance?”

Looking hurt, she said, “So you are mocking me.”

“I am not, and I apologise if I sound as though I have. I suspect that despite your total rejection of the ways of the court that you had to have learned the Cumberland Two-Step at the very least. Besides, everyone in there is so drunk that we could perform a duet of Shepherd’s Shuffles and they would declare it the new style of the Age.”

Unable – despite her best – to suppress a chortle at the image alone, Cassandra regained her composure, saying, “You may well be right. But why should we dance?”

Leaning in perhaps a touch closer than strict professionalism permitted, Blackwall pressed on, saying, “Imagine it, Milady, the ball winding down to its close, its torches burning down to their embers, most of the guests retired to their quarters, just the dashing hero and his companion, or well, the spirited heroine and her partner, dancing to the gentle beat of the last song of the night right in the middle of the Winter Palace…is that not spontaneous?”

Exhaling sharply, she said, “You read far too many novels.”

“As, I suspect, you do too,” he replied.

Cassandra’s eyes narrowed. “Now who have you been talking to?”

“Oh, that’s not important,” Blackwall said, waving carelessly. “I doubt there is much, if any, shame, in your past, but I can well suspect that might be cause for embarrassment. Confronting that surely is a key step in developing your spontaneity?”

“Sophistry and more sophistry,” Cassandra said, stepping away from the parapet. “I shall be seeking out the author of Swords and Shields with extreme prejudice when we return to Skyhold. But…you may well have a point. It is not as though there are any functionaries of importance left save our advisors in the ballroom, and I trust Rivka and Solas can keep this to themselves at any rate, assuming they can bear to pry themselves away from each other.” She extended her hand towards Blackwall, saying, “However, right that you are, it has been…a while. How well can you lead?”

Smiling, he stepped towards her, grasping her hand with his, and gently taking her by the waist. “I confess to being…a little rusty myself. Maker, this was a better idea when I was a little less sober.”

As they stepped experimentally on the balcony, slowly remembering where to place their feet around each other, Cassandra let out a little laugh, saying to Blackwall, “You lead well. Tell me, Blackwall, was this part of your training in the Orlesian Army?”

They were close enough for her to not only see, but feel, the hot flush on his neck. “Ah, well, In a sense.”

“In a sense?” she asked, raising an eyebrow inquisitively.

“You see, even the lowest of chevaliers in the imperial orders is expected to participate in the Game, what with the hiring of bards and throwing of balls and dances, so – mind the back-step there, Milady – Ser Lanval, freshly accoladed and promoted to command my cohort, needed to learn all of the necessary waltzes and courantes.”

“I don’t understand.”

“He…ah, paid a very fine bard to teach him all of these things, but he didn’t have enough coin to keep her around all the time. Among all his captains, I had his total confidence, so…”

Her eyes widening, Cassandra released him and took a step back, unable to keep amusement from creeping into her voice. “Are you saying the great Warden Blackwall has a history of tutoring chevaliers in the courante?”

“Let us just say that he needed a partner to recall all the steps involved in both leading up to his cotillion ball and never bring this up again,” he huffed.

“My, Blackwall,” she said, “that does not seem spontaneous.”

“And so the tables are turned,” he replied. “What will you do with your newfound power over me, Lady Seeker?”

“Why,” Cassandra said, smiling, “I think I shall request another dance. A waltz, if you will. That at least is more personal than the ridiculous skipping and hopping of a courante.”

“So you do know the steps,” he said, taking her by the hand and waist again.

“Yes. Maker knows what forces you have unleashed this night, Blackwall. Dancing with you here, now, in the dark hallways of the Winter Palace, may well start me on a path to degeneracy on your level.”

“The world will tremble,” he said.

“Come,” Cassandra said, gently breaking away from him, softly leading him by the fingertips on their gloves. “Not here. I still hear the music playing in the ballroom. Shall we prove how spontaneous the two of us can be?”

Slowly following her by her hand, never breaking their brief, slight, contact, Blackwall paced into the corridors leading to the ballroom which had been the site of so much drama this evening. Maker help him, he was falling in love with this woman.

@dadrunkwriting

[justagayguysworld-blog]

Not sure what you will think of this one, but my mind inhabits the most unusual of places.

It was the last beer and we'd shared it on the way to town for another twelve-pack. I barely knew Antonio. He'd only been there a couple of weeks, but it was the damnedest thing I'd ever seen. Nobody, and I do mean nobody, could talk to a horse the way he did. I thought it was a fluke the first time. Then he did it again and I knew it couldn't be natural.

We had a contract with the state for wild mustang management. It wasn't the easiest job in the world, but I liked the outdoors and it beat hell out of watching my old man slap his third or fourth wife around. Maybe Sheila was the fifth; I'd stopped counting or giving much of a shit by that point. For my purposes at nineteen, it was a godsend they'd hired me and paid my bus fare to Utah. We rounded them up, checked them for diseases, tagged them, sold off the limit, gave them their shots and then trucked them back to the desert.

I'd been at the ranch for maybe three months when he came up one night seemingly outta nowhere and sat next to me at the fire. I greeted him in what little Spanish I knew. "Save it, dude. I speak English." And that was that.

One of the stallions was raising bloody hell in the pen and stirring up the other horses. I stood up to see if I could go quiet him down. Antonio braced a hand on my knee and said as he was standing, "Can I borrow that? Thanks." He took the beer out of my hand, turned it up and walked over to the corral with it in his hand. Sitting the bottle on the post, he hopped the fence, picked the bottle up and walked straight over to the hellraiser.

Just walked inside like he owned the place. He was fixing to get trampled to death near as I could tell, when he grabbed that bad boy by his mane and said something. The horse shook its head side to side. Antonio jerked harder on a handful of hair, the horse quieted down and lowered its head. Then the crazy fuck turned up that bottle, and I swear to God, I saw a mustang down the rest of my beer.

Tossing the bottle over, he walked back to the fence and hopped it again like nothing had happened. Picking up the empty he came back to the campfire and said, "Sorry about that. Can I get you another?"

Stunned, I asked, "What the fuck was that about?"

"Horses can smell fear. And some of them like beer." He walked away leaving me gape-jawed and went to the bunkhouse for another round. When he came back with our longnecks, he twisted the lid off one with his forefinger and thumb. I'd never seen anyone do that either.

Bottle in hand, I asked, "Where you from?"

"Can't say exactly. I tend to move around a lot. Guess you could call me a restless spirit." Bending down, he placed the same hand on my knee again to sit like an old man trying to find his bearings and steady himself. I hadn't noticed it earlier, but the chill of his touch radiated through my jeans to my kneecap.

The hand was just as icy when he extended it. "Antonio. What's your name, cowboy?"

"Jason. Jason Sparks. But most people just call me Rufus or asshole. Seems I'm the low man on the totem pole around here."

He laughed and said, "Not anymore. I just blew into town. I'll be working the night shift."

"Night shift? I wasn't aware we had one."

"Yeah, I'm something of a specialist. These positions can be hard to fill. Not everybody can handle an alcoholic horse with bad dreams."

I literally fell off the log laughing. Struggling to get up, Antonio grabbed the collar of my jacket and pulled me back to an upright position. Without any real effort on my part, I found my ass firmly planted on the log again. If he was superman, I didn't see where he could be hiding the muscles. We were about the same size and weight from what I could tell. He chuckled and mumbled something about horses not being the only alcoholics in those parts.

"I'll drink to that. Let me get us one more beer and then I guess I'll turn in for the night. Where are you bunking?"

"Next to you if there's room still available at the inn. Larry said to grab any empty bed I could find. And yours kind of looked like a mess when I was stowing my gear. But at least it didn't smell like shit."

Stopping to take a piss I wondered how he knew which bed was mine, but in the quest for brewskis I'd forgotten the question by the time I returned. As if reading the mind I was in the process of losing, he stated very matter-of-factly, "You don't smell like a cowboy or a horse with a drinking problem."

Not knowing exactly how to or if I should reply, I thought a moment and said, "Generally speaking, I don't go around smelling cowboys or their sheets, and I damned sure ain't smelling a horse's breath to see if they've been drinking."

He must've sensed my unease. Clinking his bottle against mine, he offered, "Sorry, I have a really weird nose. It smells the strangest damned things. Guess that's why I'm good with the horses. I smell what they smell."

"Ain't nothing wrong with your nose, Antonio," I blurted out. "You have a real nice nose. Most of these ugly old bastards have had their's broken in so many bar fights, I don't really want to think about it, much less how they smell."

Bumping his shoulder against mine, he clinked his nearly empty bottle to mine and said, "Yeah, I'll take loving over fighting any time I can. Probably why I get along with the horses and avoid divorces.

We had minimal contact after that. Other than rolling over or the occasional fart, I didn't hear much out of him for the next two weeks. Except in my dreams if I'm going to be perfectly damned honest about this. And generally speaking, I didn't have much of a habit dreaming about other men, at least not in that way. But there he was, more than once, pretty damned specifically. If I'd been anyone else, it would've been hard to ignore. Only I'd learned to master any direct concern for my actual feelings, and dick management had never been an issue for me personally.

The crew I was working was out on range management. I'd barely been back to the place long enough to sleep, much less for fireside chitchat. Then Saturday night came, we were going to take a couple days off and there he was. Just like in my damned dreams. I have no reason to lie. It was disconcerting when I saw him sprawled out there next to the fire. Not a care in the world, acting as if he'd grown up right out of the ground on that very spot, he smiled.

Looking me directly in the eye as if he hadn't invaded my dreams, he said casually as a cousin, "Hey Jason Sparks, if you're going to the house, could you grab me another cold one?" It had been a particularly hard week, I was bone-ass tired and his nose still wasn't broken in six different places. Two beers later we were left alone with a raging fire and the feelings I was experiencing that matched that blaze. I really wanted to kick his ass. Antonio had seriously fucked with my head, and he didn't seem to know or at least care.

He got up for the third round. It wasn't my knee he touched that sent icy shivers up my spine this time. It was my thigh. About three inches below the part that separates the men from the boys. Close enough for discomfort, I met his glaze and that fire was dancing in his eyes. His nose still wasn't broken, but the quiet smirk on his face made me seriously think about rearranging it.

Fucker scratched my head as he walked away like I was some kind of damned puppy in love. Brought back another round and said, "These are the last ones, Jason Sparks. Let's polish them off and make a run into town. I'm still thirsty. If you'll drive, I'll buy."

That was the night and I guess the moment that changed or ended my life. Something deep inside me could hear it slowly rumbling. I'd seen it in those dreams. I simply didn't have the power to say no or the least of will to fight him. And we weren't struggling. I guess that was what's so odd about it. Everything in my body and soul knew it was happening, even if my conscious mind was slow in catching up. I wanted him. I'd be the worst kind of liar if I said I didn't. And I knew he knew it.

He took my hand and pulled me up off the ground. I could've just as easily staggered to my feet of my own accord. But he wanted that ice running through my veins clashing with my toasted toes inside those boots. And I felt it. Felt it thoroughly as we climbed in the truck and started the motor. Only once did he touch my body on the way to the store. It was completely casual and anything but innocent as the shivers raced up and down my spine.

He went in and came out. I felt very strange. Almost in an out-of-body floating feeling I drove away into the darkness of the rural night. I still remember. It was as vivid, quiet and unstoppable as a freight train bearing down on the family sedan stalled on the side of the tracks.

"Pull over." I could've kept driving, but the truth was that I'd pulled over two weeks before. "I said pull over, Jason Sparks." He didn't have to ask again. And the truth, as he very well knew, is that I'd been wanting to pull over my whole life. The cab of the truck was full of echoes and whispers as I floated above my body while it and he crawled into the back seat. Voices were everywhere, the engine was running and for the first time in my life I didn't give a damn.

I thought in some delirious way I was about to kiss a boy, but that wasn't it. That wasn't it at all. My feelings, those secreted desires weren't important. We weren't boys. I'd become a man without realizing or acknowledging it, and that brief period of my life was about to end abruptly.

It was brutal. How could I possibly forget when he folded down the lambswool collar of my jacket and sunk his teeth into my flesh? I could've fought him off, but I'd already struggled my whole life to be something different than what I was. Antonio was reconciling my conflicts, meeting my innermost longings and he'd bought the beer.

[forkanna]

[AO3 LINK] [EF LINK]

NOTES: So this fic was a loooooong time coming. Sailor Moon was my first anime, waaaaaay back when there were maybe three anime on TV at all, and one that remains extremely dear to my heart. As with so many of my faves, I always feel a little gunshy about attempting fic in that genre, which is why it's taken me until now to take a walk through the Moon Kingdom. It was very satisfying in many ways.

These outtakes were a lot of fun – this whole fic was! Thanks to all the reviewers again (especially those who also love Makoto - thank you for the validation)! Hope you guys liked it, and liked celebrating Hanukkah with me! Stay tuned for Yule, and eventually Christmas!

Jessex

Act 6. NG (outtakes)

Usagi felt her heart pounding as she walked into the kitchen, where Ikuko Tsukino was standing by the stove. Somehow, the woman looked different than usual. Her eyes were distant and forlorn, mouth turned down in a worried frown. The way her tone had sounded calling for her was what got her adrenaline rushing behind her ears; her mother never sounded worried like that when she called for her.

"Mom? What's wrong?"

"Usagi…" Her face was a little flushed as she raised the magazine to show her the page it was open to. Usagi's cheeks darkened to the same shade, and surpassed it into an even deeper rouge. "Can you please explain this to me?"

Swallowing hard, she turned away, trying her best not to think about how much her face was burning. "M-Mom, I didn't think… you went through my room? And found it?"

"You left it open on your table. All these dog-ears in the pages; you're not just flipping through it. This is something you're into. I didn't… I mean, this isn't usual. Is it? Your mother is a bit old-fashioned, but…"

"No, no, you're right; I don't…" In a whisper, she said, "Don't tell anybody? Please? I know it's weird, but I'm not ready for all my friends to know I'm like that."

"Well, I… I mean, were you planning on exploring this sometime? Of all people, I didn't think my own little girl…" Her hand gestured to the page, a weak laugh falling from her lips. "This is just very strange to me, and I'm not sure how it would even work for you."

It took a lot of bravery for her to whisper, "Actually, Mom… I wanted to try it with you."

"What?" The roundness of her eyes hurt Usagi; she didn't think this would ever come up, let alone be talked about in such detail! But the cat was out of the bag now.

"Like you said, I'm not sure how to do that. Really don't have any clue. So if you could help me… teach me what you know…" She approached hesitantly, hands coming up, pulling back, then finishing their movement to rest on Ikuko's forearm. "You have to be better at this than me. I mean, look at the proof!" She gestured to herself.

"Usagi…" Her hand came up to cup her daughter's cheek. "This is very unexpected, but I can't deny… I'm very curious. And interested."

"You are?! I thought you would… laugh, or be ashamed of me."

"No, no. Well, it's very strange to me, but I suppose I don't mind trying something new. With you."

Ikuko leaned closer and pressed her lips into her forehead, and Usagi sighed, thinking it had been so long since she felt the softness of her mother's kiss. She sighed, leaning up into it, heart soaring on wings at her mother's acceptance. Sometimes, your parents really could surprise you.

"Alright. So, um… I guess you saw the jeans are pretty basic, might have to dye them turquoise? Orange socks, I can borrow those from Minako… gloves shouldn't be a huge problem, or the shoes; I think I have some like those. But I don't know about the little black vest. I mean, do they sell those?"

Leaning over the counter to look at the page with her daughter, she said, "I'm sure we can alter a normal-sized vest. I just… please, please tell me you aren't going to cut your beautiful hair just to look like this manga character. I know children like to dress up for parties and things, but that's too far!"

"Well, it's cosplay, Mom." Seeing the obvious confusion, she went on, "It's not just for children; I know that's probably why you were so wigged, but I promise, lots of grown-up people do this, too. And Naru and I want to go to one of the conventions, and… I dunno, I thought I might look good in this!"

"As I said, I'm not going to judge you," she said in a carefully patient tone, still looking a bit embarrassed. Maybe it was secondhand, or maybe she had felt slightly ashamed that her daughter was seriously contemplating doing something she thought to be immature. "And if you really want to do this, I will support you all the way. Unless you cut your hair!"

Smiling at her mother's concern, she reached up to pat her shoulder consolingly. "No, no, I was going to try to style it that way without cutting it. Like, maybe some bobby pins? I think we can do it. And if not, there's always wigs."

"Are you sure you couldn't cosplay as someone more wholesome? She looks like some kind of loose woman…"

"Actually, she's an android! Do you wanna know her backstory? She's pretty rad!"

Ikuko clearly didn't. But she did listen patiently, and helped to plot how they would fashion the costume with her daughter. Maybe it wasn't the ideal way for her, and Usagi felt the same way, but they were both glad of an opportunity to reconnect after feeling such a gulf between them — especially now that she had a secret identity that her mother could never know anything about. At the very least, this was something they could do together as a family.

                                                            ~ X ~

"Serenity, I've waited so long to find you," Tuxedo Mask breathed as he swept in through the window to land deftly on the carpet, slowly removing the white eyemask and revealing himself. "It is I, Mamoru Chiba. I know I have deceived you, and for that, I'm sorry… but now, I have at last remembered our past. You and I were destined to b-"

"What?"

His eyelashes fluttered as he saw Usagi's head raise from where it had been pointed down at a shojo manga, legs gently kicking over her back as she lay on her stomach. Apparently, she had been so absorbed in the reading material that she had missed part of his announcement. "Well… I've remembered something. We were destined for each other. I, Prince Endymion, and you, Princess Serenity. Our reign over the… I'm sorry, am I distracting you from something?"

"Yeah. It's just getting really good." Her finger poked at the pages as she looked back down at them. "Dunno, I think the grandma might be coming back. Really gonna shake things up!"

"Usako, I'm trying to tell you that I'm in love with you."

"Oh, that? Yeah… no thanks. I'm a lesbian."

"What?!"

"Lesbian. You know, yuri? Girls' Love?" Her index and middle finger pushed against the corners of her mouth and her tongue flicked out and flailed up and down. It was lewd, but it got the point across. "Get it? Nothing against you, Chiba-san, but I'm not buying what you're selling. Sorry!"

Clearing his throat, Mamoru glanced between the window and the bed where Usagi was lounging easily. His mind seemed to be taking its sweet time absorbing this new information. Then he tried for a patient smile. "Oh. Well… I beg you to reconsider. Our destiny…"

"Whatever, bro. Destiny doesn't get to tell me who to date, and I can't pretend to be attracted to you if I'm not. Biology doesn't work that way. Also, isn't it kind of creepy jumping into a junior high girl's bedroom in the middle of the night? Somebody should call the police."

"Well, uh, it's not creepy if you wanted me here! But if you don't, I suppose I'll… get out of your way…"

"Thanks. Oh, but hang on!" Hopping up from the bed, she pranced over to him with a small smile. "Actually, there is something you could do for me."

"Yes, my love?"

"Teach me that thing where you throw roses! Like, she'd really flip her lid if I could do that out of nowhere like you do, and it might be enough to get me to second base!"

"Ehrm… with who?" But when her finger wagged back and forth, he guessed, "You're… not going to tell me?"

"Can't risk you blabbing, now, can I? Gotta try working my magic first! Anyway, thanks for stopping by — and think it over! We can still help each other out saving the world from the Dark Kingdom and all that, right?"

Laughing, he scratched the back of his neck as she began gently shoving him toward the open window. "Yes, of course. The Legendary Silver Crystal is of the utmost-"

"Yeah, yeah, crystals. I'll put in a good recommendation to one of the other Senshi; some of them like boys, so hey, keep hope alive!"

Then she was slamming the window shut behind him. Tuxedo Mask only spared himself a moment to shake his head out, trying to rid himself of that dazed feeling before he took off into the night.

                                                            ~ X ~

Never before had a hand so strong caressed Usagi's face the way Haruka Tenou's was. It shouldn't have been possible; not even Mamoru's touch soothed her this way. What was happening in her brain? Every atom of herself was alive, her heart thudding against her chest like a fist pounding on a door. If something didn't happen soon…

"Haruka… are you a man? Or are you a woman?" That was one thing she needed to know.

"Man, woman…" Haruka leaned down to bring their faces closer, messy blonde hair swishing in front of her eyes, lips twitching into a lazily confident smile before she spoke again. "What difference does it make?"

That clenched it. There was no point in saying anything like that if she were a man; most boys she'd ever met would say something like "I'll show you I'm a man!" in response to a question like that. Fragile masculinity wouldn't let them be labelled a woman for even an instant. Besides…

This close, she could smell her. Maybe she wasn't as sweetly perfumed as her friends, or her mother, but she definitely used a floral body wash. Even her sweat seemed feminine.

And she tasted equally feminine when they connected. What a kiss! It mixed her up inside, feeling soft lips being pushed so firmly into her own, the strength and the tenderness blasting her with conflicting signals. She was kissing a girl! But it still felt like a boy-kiss! Maybe that was because she was the same height as Mamoru, and probably stronger. Her hands slid up Haruka's jacket lapels and tugged her closer, opening her lips to prove that she was not afraid, was ready to be kissed like this. What on earth was this feeling…?

Then she felt the connection being shifted to one side. Usagi tried to lean with the motion, to maintain their tryst, but eventually she couldn't, so she was forced to open her eyes and find out what was the matter.

"I'll tell you what difference it makes!" Michiru shouted at Haruka as she dragged her away by the ear. "You know that tonight is our date night — you were supposed to take me out for French cuisine! And instead, I find you Frenching another girl!"

"Ow, owowow!" Haruka protested, finally wrestling out of her girlfriend's grip. "Hey, I still had plenty of time! We weren't supposed to meet at the restaurant for five hours!"

Michiru folded her arms and glared up at her. Even though she was five inches shorter and more petite, and her soft waves of teal hair made her seem like a benevolent sea-goddess, at that moment she looked more like a towering force of nature to be reckoned with. Like a tsunami.

"I don't care if you play around with children, Haruka. It's a little unseemly, but if that's your hobby, fine. But you could at least save it for a day when we're not supposed to be together later that night! You're the only woman for me, so you could at least make me the only woman for you within a single day!"

Together?! Not only was Haruka a woman, but she was with Michiru! Like THAT! Not that it should have been much of a surprise, but Usagi had been a little too wrapped up in being kissed so sweetly to have given any thought to Haruka hanging around with Michiru all the time. What their 'friendship' might really mean.

"O-oh!" she burst out in sudden realisation. "Lesbians! I'm sorry, I didn't… I didn't mean t-to interfere, I'll just…"

The smile on Haruka's face when she glanced back toward Usagi was a bit wicked, but mostly fond. "Maybe we could bring her with us tonight. Double our fun and excitement."

"Hmph," Michiru scoffed, turning her face away. "One would almost get the impression that one wasn't that important to you anymore if you already need to spice up our relationship with a third wheel."

Usagi felt her ears going red. What were they discussing?!

"Baby, don't be like that," Haruka said earnestly, kneeling at Michiru's feet and clasping one of her hands. "You know that at the end of the day, no one else could hold my attention the way you do. I'm yours for all eternity."

Both Michiru and Usagi melted and cooed "Awwww!" Hearing she hadn't been alone, Michiru did briefly glare at Usagi, but then when she turned to see her lover was still gazing only at her, the glare softened and she reluctantly smiled.

"Alright. I suppose… Usagi is rather sweet, for a baby gay. But look, don't touch. She has the Earth Prince, remember, you homewrecker?"

"I'm not a baby!" Usagi muttered, mostly to herself. "I'm barely two years younger than you guys!"

"Oh?" she giggled, casting her dazzling blue eyes in Usagi's direction. The thrill that shot through her body was not a subtle or a moderate one. "Then you do want to come along tonight? We should probably warn you, after dinner, things are likely to get… a little intense."

About five minutes had passed before Usagi could move or think again. By that point, both of the mysterious Mugen Gakuen students had long departed, leaving her a quivering mess of burgeoning homosexuality.

                                                            ~ X ~

"Miss Haruna?" Usagi Tsukino whispered hesitantly as she edged into the classroom. "I… know I'm a little late for my detention, but I can explai-"

"Oh, you ravishing creature."

"H-Haruna-sensei?"

Slowly, her voluptuous frame turned, long waves of auburn hair bouncing lightly as she faced her student, hazel eyes shimmering with emotion. "How many hours I have stared across the room, wishing to take your hands into mine and kiss them… to show you the depth of my heart. But circumstance holds us apart from one another! Oh, cruel fate, why do you thwart me so?"

Usagi was frozen just inside the door. This couldn't be happening. Her teacher, Haruna Sakurada, was really confessing her feelings? It was so unexpected! Especially since she had literally never spent a single moment entertaining the idea of any romantic connection between her and the dazzling instructor. On the other hand, she was passionate, and beautiful, and not that much older than her for a teacher…

"M-m-m-miss Haruna, I… y-you really feel…?" Her face was turning slowly redder as she backed up to the wall, heart thudding in her throat. "B-but we're both women, and I'm y-your student, and we-"

"Hm?" The teacher's expression clarified, and she blinked a few times. "Miss Tsukino, what are you doing here?"

"Huh? B-but I have detention today, don't I?"

"No, it's tomorrow." Then she suddenly took a long step backward to sit on her desk. "Wait, how long have you been standing there?!"

Squeaking in alarm at the sharpness in Haruna-sensei's tone, she said, "I d-dunno, a minute?"

"NO! You can't have overheard my rehearsal!"

"Rehearsal?" Glancing at the desk, she saw a stack of printed pages, stapled at one corner and folded back. A script? "Wh-what…?"

Now it was Haruna's face that was red, and she was pushing her hands into her cheeks. "Please never tell anyone! I'm auditioning for a local production, it's… oh, I'm so embarrassed!" Turning away fully, she snapped, "Y-you can consider tomorrow's detention taken care of if you promise to keep this a secret!"

"Y-yes, of course, Haruna-sensei! I will!"

All the way down the hallway, Usagi felt like a complete idiot as she sprinted on flailing feet. How could she have possibly thought those words were intended for her?! How conceited her poor bun-head was! The sooner she could forget this whole incident, the better.

                                                            ~ X ~

"Yes, Usagi Tsukino," Dark Lady purred as she reached out to grasp Sailor Moon's face, caressing her tear-stained, flushed cheeks. "I was once your pathetic Chibiusa. But now… I have transcended that form. Thanks to the power of the Black Moon, I can now remove you from my life. Take Mamoru for my own. And you are powerless to stop it."

Usagi had to swallow hard to keep her heart from racing ahead of her. She found herself leaning closer and closer to the gorgeous face above her, breathing, "Chibiusa…"

"My name is Dark Lady now, Moon Face." But their lips were getting closer and closer. "W-wait, what are you doing? Stop, don't you understand your position? You've lost! Both your love and y- STOP IT!"

But Usagi was already blowing into Chibiusa's nose. The taller, glamorous version of her future daughter squawked and tried to push her away, but it was no use; Usagi had latched on and formed a perfect seal around the tiny nose, which was causing a harsh razzing noise to issue from her open mouth, since the air had nowhere else to go.

"AAGH!" she finally gasped out when she had freed herself, both hands rubbing at her nose and her mouth to rid them of the lingering discomfort. "That's disgusting! How dare y- wait, let go of me, let go!"

Bending her over her knee, Usagi shouted, "And THIS is for thinking we didn't love you! Silly little brat, you can't marry your father and destroy the universe! If you take him away from me, how are you even gonna be born? That doesn't make any sense!"

Every time her hand crashed into Dark Lady's behind, she called out "AH!" or "NO!" until the tears began to fall. Not long afterward, her slender supermodel body began to shrink down into the chubby child that Usagi had come to know and find annoying.

"There, there," she whispered gently as she drew her up into a tight hug, letting her bawl into her shoulder. "It's okay, Chibiusa. It's okay. Mommy's not going anywhere."

"You're not M-Mommy! You're just a dumb… dumb Bun-head I… I'm s-so sad and my b-butt hurts!"

With a little chuckle, she kissed the side of her head. "I know, I know. Your mom from the future's a thousand years older and probably way smarter… but I'm still her. We both love you and want you to be happy. And if you think killing me and everyone else is going to do that…"

The tears only got louder. Somewhere in all her blubbering, Usagi heard the word "sorry" being screamed, so she smiled to herself as she cradled Chibiusa close.

"Shhhh. It's alright, sweetie. Everything's going to be alright."

Well, once they took care of Wiseman and the Black Moon, of course. But things were already looking up. How difficult could they be?

                                                            ~ X ~

"Actually, I'm serious. You have Sailor V right here, in your room, ready to listen. What have you always wanted to tell her?" Turning around, she caught sight of the comfortable bench in front of Usagi's vanity and took a seat — though she kept her posture erect, hoping that was how a "superhero" would sit. "Go on."

"Well… no, I couldn't." But Minako didn't flinch, or do anything other than sit patiently. So eventually, Usagi sat on the edge of her bed, looking down at her knees. "You really want to hear all that?"

"Of course. Sailor V fights to protect the world in the name of love and justice! What her fans think of her is very important, too."

The blush was coming back now that they weren't tittering so much. After a few seconds of kicking her legs back and forth, toes skimming over the pink area rug, she finally whispered, "I… oh, this is so lame! I'M so lame!"

"You're not. I promise. Come on, tell me anything."

"Well, alright." Clearing her throat, she straightened her back and forced herself to be brave. "I'm actually not Sailor Moon."

"What?" Minako's eyes narrowed behind her mask. "I mean… what are you talking about? Of course you are."

"Actually, I just start the transformation sequence flashing, and then I call for my stunt double. Serena?" Another blonde with pigtails emerged from inside Usagi's closet, waving bashfully. "Look how cute she is. Seriously, can you believe how cute?!"

One of Sailor V's fingers raised, then lowered again as her mouth opened and closed. No, she definitely didn't have the words for this. So she asked the only thing she could think to ask right off the cuff: "Where… does she live? Like, you can't seriously expect me to believe she just sits in your closet until the world needs Sailor Moon?"

"Ohhh, don't be silly! Okay, look."

They both got up, and Serena seemed more than happy to slide the closet door aside for them to peek in. Behind the clothes was a somewhat comfortable-looking chair, a book light, and a few trashy magazines. Most of them were in English, which Minako knew Usagi couldn't read very well.

"Is she, like… not from Japan?"

"Hey, we don't have actual magical girls here, do we?"

"What about Rei, and Ami, and Makoto?"

"Okay, besides them," she whispered, waving a hand as if that were an unimportant bullet point in an otherwise flawless presentation. Meanwhile, Serena was examining her nails and waiting for them to get done with this show-and-tell. "Anyway, I bring her snacks, and she has weekends off unless an emergency comes up. Those days when I look really wimpy and can barely do anything against the enemies? That's because I have to wear the suit myself. Just not nearly as great at the job as she is, but I mean, I'm the Moon Princess. Not an actual Senshi."

In a weirdly stilted dialect, Serena said, "Yeah. Moon Princess. She is so beautiful, and good! I want to be…" In English, she said, "God, I'm never gonna get this. The tapes aren't helping."

"It's okay!" Minako replied in the same language. "We can speak English if that's easier."

"Thank GOD. Normally, I try to stick to the lines Usagi coaches me in, but like, WOW is it hard to remember the conversational stuff." Then she smiled a little wider. "I like fighting alongside you guys! Y'know, when I can. Too bad we have to keep up appearances or I'd just fight with you and the Princess."

"Now, now, that would just get confusing," Usagi said reasonably, her own English not quite as good so she stuck to Japanese. "Besides, the whole point was to keep me out of danger, and not make you do the stand-in work, right, V?"

"Oh yeah! In that case… yeah, thanks, Serena."

"Anytime," the double said with a huge grin. "Y'know, we should all go out to eat! I mean, I still don't really know much about Japanese food besides rice and ramen…"

Warming to the subject, Usagi bounced over and looped her arm through both Minako and Serena's elbows. "C'mon, let's go right now! I mean, I'm not busy if you're not — you'd just have to do something about that hair so we don't raise suspicions by looking too alike."

"Yeah… hey, why not?" Mina said with a slowly-growing smile. "We have all this time to ourselves, and I think we could all be awesome friends! Blonde Brigade for life!"

"Yes!" Serena said, again in Japanese. "The friends for us to be!"

And away they skipped to find a decent restaurant. Right after Minako de-transformed, and the stunt double stuffed all her hair up until a giant hat, to keep her from being recognised; wouldn't want their connection to the Sailor Scouts to be that public.

                                                            ~ X ~

"Luna, no one understands me!" Usagi burst out as she threw herself down on her bed. "Rei is so mean all the time, and Tuxedo Mask acts like I'm not even alive…. Wh-what do I do?"

A paw came to rest on her head. "Don't worry, Sailor Moon. I'm always going to be here for you. Even when they all turn a blind eye to your inner pain, I won't. Even though I'm hard on you sometimes… it's because I care, and I hope to make you better than you are. To show you the path to your best self."

Her hand came up to rest gently against the back of her feline companion. "Oh… oh Luna, you're so sweet…" Her lips moved forward, and pressed into a tiny muzzle. "If only you were Tuxedo Mask… someone as kind and caring as you would be way better than that selfish creep. All he cares about is the Silver Crystal and throwing flowers! Not like my Luna, who sees who I really am… who's so soft…"

The room was mostly silent for a moment. Then Luna muttered, "If you start trying to make out with me, I'll scratch you blind, Bun-head."

"What? Oh, sorry; I wasn't going to, I promise!"

Usagi flopped over onto her side and curled up with a pillow, feeling bad that she made Luna uncomfortable on accident. Maybe she needed to start chewing ice, or exercising… anything to take the edge off these annoying desires.

"You ought to go and see Koan," Luna suggested with a large sweatdrop over the crescent moon symbol on her forehead. "After all, you seemed to get along fairly well with her, and her hairstyle resembles cat ears. Vent your strange urges on her and leave me alone."

"Ehh? Luna, please, you really don't-"

The small feline face now bore a smirk. "I've heard you calling out her name in your sleep…"

Blushing to the roots of her hair, Usagi curled a little harder against her pillow. It was true that she was very glad Koan and her sisters had been saved from Black Moon's influence, given a new chance to live honest lives, but she hadn't realised the tall, glamorous woman was on her mind so deeply. And it was true that she liked her, and looked forward to seeing her…

"Maybe I will." When Luna chuckled, she sat up and grabbed her pillow to slam it down on the cat. "TO SAY 'HELLO', kitanai neko!" There was a lot of squabbling and flailing underneath it as Usagi stood and stomped toward the door. This was the last time she would ever trust her cat-shaped companion not to tease her over nothing.

                                                            ~ X ~

"So which of us is it gonna be?!"

Usagi backed up shakily from the glares of the five women in front of her, hands held up to ward off their negative radiation. "Wh-what do you mean?"

"We can't all be your girlfriends," Ami told her reasonably, arms folded over her chest. "Be rational."

"Yeah!" Makoto chimed in. "Isn't it hard enough being a lesbian in Nineties Japan and taken seriously? Just make up your mind already!"

"But I'm only dating you guys in separate 'verses!" Usagi protested, backed against the wall by now. "God, I don't even know how you guys found out about it — technically, it's against the laws of physics!"

Rei slammed her hand against the wall next to Usagi's head. "Doesn't matter, bubble-brain! You can't two-time us, and you sure as hell can't five-time us! That's just too far!"

Unable to help herself, Usagi muttered under her breath, "Sheeeeeze, when you or Makoto act so strong, I get chills…"

"Um," Naru put in nervously, scratching the back of her neck. "I feel a little out of place here for some reason. Maybe I should just go…"

"That'd probably be for the best," Minako confirmed.

"Wait, don't!" Slipping out from behind Rei's arm, she ran over to grasp her old friend's arm, clinging tightly. "Don't go, I can't let you leave thinking that you're not as important as my new friends!"

"New girlfriends," Makoto corrected, sounding jealous but also hurt. And Usagi's heart was breaking.

"Alright," Ami finally said after having spent some time typing into her miniature Supercomputer. "There seems to only be one logical course of action. Usagi should spend time with each of us, and reach a decision as to which woman she wishes to date. If she can reach no such decision within an appointed trial period, she will forfeit all dating rights."

As the others were all pondering that, beginning to nod, Usagi slumped. "But I told you, I'm not dating all of you. Not really! It's like, five different Usagis are dating you, not just one for five girls! You get that, right?"

"Shut up and decide!" Rei snarled. "And it better be me — you've seen me naked!"

"Hey, that's not our fault," Minako protested, hands on her hips. "Just because you're some kind of slu-"

"OH!" Naru burst out, hopping up and down with an index finger raised. "How about a kiss-off? Best kisser wins!"

Before Usagi knew what was happening, they were all muttering their agreement and pressing in closer to her. Their lips were puckered, all vying for the attentions of her own, and she felt sweat break out over her forehead. Suddenly the bed was rising up to meet her back, and all five of them were atop her, warm bodies pressed in close, kisses being left all over her face, she couldn't get away, couldn't breathe-

The blare of her alarm clock woke Usagi from the feverish dream. It took her several seconds of heaving breaths before she realised… it had been a nightmare. The sheets were somewhat coiled around her, and a thin layer of sweat coated her entire body. Also, she felt warmth blossoming in her face.

"All five of them?! I must be crazy…"

"What's the problem, dear?"

Rolling over, she curled around the presence beside her in the bed. "I had this bizarre dream. All of my friends were coming onto me — girls, I mean. No more coffee cake before sleepytime!"

"Oh, Usagi-chan…" Rolling over, Gurio Umino adjusted his glasses as he leaned closer to her face. "Too much time spent on the Internet. Leave that to me! Maybe I can find upskirt pictures of them for you in one of my newsgroups?"

Usagi Tsukino was still screaming, even as she woke up from the nightmare that had been sandwiched around the other nightmare. The first thing she did was throw her sheet and duvet aside, making sure she was alone in her bed. Then she pinched her own leg; success. She was actually awake this time.

"Phew… there's a bad dream, and then there's a horrible nightmare. I'd rather be mauled in the first one!"

"Usagi!" came the call from outside her bedroom. "You'll be late for school if you don't hurry up!"

Still a little dazed, she called out "OKAY, MOM!" as she got changed and raced downstairs. Another day of school awaited. She only hoped she wouldn't feel too awkward around her friends after such dreams as the ones she had been plagued by the night before.

"Seriously, all five of them?!" Usagi burst out as she raced down the street, fuku flapping behind her in the wind that her speed was creating. "You're out of your mind, Sailor Moon!"

                                                       THE END [for real this time]

[westakoasta]

Joe Dub - WCI, 2005

Alright, tell us about your childhood in SF, the records that had an impact on you..

Growin up in "the city" was cool... It's one of the most diverse and open minded cities in the States. A lot of pride... Not just for the city itself but for culture as well. Music and art is not only embraced, it's encouraged. I started off singin in a choir and playin the trumpet. Plus my Mom would paint so I'd get in home art lessons. But I was hella into sports also. I played baseball from like 5 or 6 years old through high school. I was a raw ass in fielder... But couldn't really hit too well though... Haha! But yeah I had a typical childhood I guess. Gettin into trouble... Girls... Yunno that kinda shit. It wasn't really until like 85 that I started rhymin. It was more some fuck around shit we'd do in the schoolyard at lunchtime. Just freestyle shit.. Braggin and baggin.. Recorded some shit just for fun... I still got those tapes.. Fucking funny stuff man.

Around 86 or so I remember listening to KPOO (local hip-hop radio station in the bay) when they had dj's like... KK... Marcus Clemens and Dan the Automator. One night I remember they played Eric B and Rakim "Check out my Melody," Mixmaster Gee "The Manipulator" (check artist), BDP "My 9mm Goes Bang" and Just Ice "Latoya" in succession. I recorded that show still have that tape in fact. Anyways, once the show ended at that moment I knew I wanted to do this shit seriously. The beats moved me but I was more trying to rap then. It wasn't till 90 or 91 when I into making beats.

As far as records that inspired me rapwise? I was a fan of all of the old stuff. Flash, Kurtis Blow, Spoonie G, but it was the progressive shit that had me buggin. Anything that Kurtis Mantronik did... Just Ice (dopest mc of all time imo)... T LA Rock... All that... Schooly D was like a surrogate father to me as a child. Quite the role model!!!  Hahahahah!

Let's talk about the Westcoast Workforce. How did y'all came along together, the records/ tracks you did collectively... Everything. I once read about a reformation with you, Sub, Radioinactive, Xinxo, Liferex and Omid.. Is that true?

Well the Workforce was around before I was put on. It was Xinxo, Sub, AntiMC, Radio, Premonition, Memorex, Rhetoric and some other folks. It wasn't until 99 when I was at the B-boy Summit that I met Sub and AntiMC. We traded tapes and that was that. That was like February or March. Then in July of 99 P-minus hits me up and is like "Radio and Antimc are in town and trying to get at you" gave me the number. I called em... Chopped it up for a good second but we never got a chance to hang out then. In September, Deeskee, Maleko and I rolled down to LA to kick it at the Shapeshifter house in Westwood where Rob One (RIP), Exist, Bleek and Dr. Lewd lived. We left SF at about 5 AM and got in at 10 PM. Pull up to the house and Rob is sitting outside car full of records, sayin "cool you guys are here... Let's go." He had a gig and was waitin on us. So we go to the show... And i'm outside smokin and sub walks up and he's like what's up, you wanna be down with the Workforce? That was pretty much it. Megabusive, Liferexall and them got down right after that. As for getting back together, me, Xinxo, Radio, Subtitle, and Rexall, got together and talked about it when I was in LA in 2004. Some of the old names came up, but due to differences and conflictin schedules we left it at that. Omid and Premonition were included as well. But with everyone doing solo shit right now, it's just a name we claim, no albums or tours will be coming anytime soon. Me and Xinxo joke that we are the Workforce. But all of us still work together... Still hang out and what not... The timing is just off right now. I'm trying to get a Workforce song on my album... We'll see!

You probably have one of the most prolific discography in the bay, tones of collaborations and obscure groups... What were the most important ones  to you? Also there's this one called The Citadel, which was supposed to be you, Sub, Liferexall and Megabusive.. Does this one only ever existed?

I've been blessed to work with the people I have! My favorite one would have to be with the folks I know the most. Friends... Not just MC's doin songs together... People. Cuz there's no chemistry there. It's not just like "Hey let's do a song to do a song". It's because you know the person and you know they'd fit the mood of the song, whatever it may be. Some shit is fuck around and some is serious with money involved, but either way if it's the homies... It's fun! The folks I like workin with are like... All the Workforce, Deeskee, the Shapes, Khule, Topic, Tommy V, and the list goes on. It's laid back and relaxed when we work. Bustin jokes... Talkin story... That's what I like. Like me and 2Mex did this song when he was in Hawaii... Some quick shit... He's talking about his trip to Hawaii... I was talking about mine to LA. It's probably won't ever come out... But those are the best collabs when you do it for fun.

Citadel? HAHAHA. How'd you hear about that? Yeah we did that at Sub's mom's house in Mid City. Me, Megabusive, Subtitle, and Life were kickin it hard. We all made beats and rapped so Sub had the idea let's each make a 2 beats and do songs in like a week. But the only way Sub would let me rap on it was if I styled hard....HAHAHA! See he saw me freestyle once and I was stylin it up... Haha... Blowed style. But that's another story... So yeah we did that shit... Came out tight. But it was just for fun... Wait so you have a copy? Cuz I don't. I think Sub is the only one with it.

You moved recently to Hawaï... Tell us about it, how's life out there, differences with California, the hip hop scene, if it's a good place for cratedigging... Anything.

Life in Hawaii is slow. A far cry from the pace of the rest of the States. Everybody out here does things at their own speed. Where as in Cali everythings done on a schedule. I pretty much work between the two... Though it's tough sometimes. It's a small island so the scene is smaller than I'm used to. There's some good talent and the fans support. I don't get out that much though so I can't speak on it too much. Yeah man there's a few dope spots for diggin out here. I left a lot of my records back in Cali and I have like 5,000 here in Hawaii. Most of which I got here, some common shit, some rare shit, but theres a lot of come ups, not many people out here are lookin for the kind of stuff I am. So I always find something worth while. Plus, the prices are cheap... No record is ever over $20... Almost everything is under $5... I'm kind of spoiled with that!

Do you have a job besides hip hop?

Nah, I haven't had a 9 to 5 in about 3 or 4 years. Music hasn't been great to be but it's been good enough. I just sell beats and work on music all day. Hit the beach and drink myself to sleep.

You got an album with Ellay Khule called In A World Of My Own that will be released soon... Can you tell us about it? And also, what about this 8′’ vinyl released by Anti-Party? I'm curious to see what a 8" looks like?

It's actually called "In My Own World". The album came about through a mutual friend of Khule and I. He told Khule to check out my beats and I've always been a fan of Khule since I can remember so I was obviously down. At first I'd send him beats in the mail... Then he wrote the songs... Then I flew out to LA to lay the beats and vocals down.... I prefer doing music in person not long distance. It helps the chemistry. But yeah, I didn't want to give him elaborate beats... I wanted his vocals to be the focus... There's something for every Khule fan on the album... There's some hard Rifleman shit... Some Ellay Khule aggressive styling... And some real heart felt personal shit... This album is probably the most complete project i've worked on to date... Me and Khule have talked about doin another project together so this definately won't a one shot deal... As for the 8′’... It's a collection of about 5 or 6 songs off my old "Noise Pollution" tape... Yeah DJ Plankton from Anti-Party really wanted to release the whole album on vinyl but... I'm about moving forward... Plus the sound quality on that tape really wouldn't cut in on vinyl... So we agreed to bust a limited run of 8"'s with some of the songs off Noise Pollution instead... It should be coming out in july... Very limited though... I heard something like under 100 are being pressed...

What's your opinion on the evolution of the underground scene?

Umm I mean... Damn... Haha... It's weird... I'm kinda removed from the Cali scene being out here in Hawaii... But... I’ll say this... The way the scene used to be... Everyone knew their place... You had the MCs/ DJs/ producers/ B-Boys... The vendors... Promoters... And the fans. And who you were was cool. Everyone respected it... Now with all the advancements with technology and free programs for computers... I'd have to honestly say that 70-75% of the people in the scene are MC's or producers now... Now i'm not saying that people shouldn't be allowed their voice... But... Go through the proper channels... Pay dues... Hustle... No one has to hustle anymore... We used to take the last 100 bucks we had... Go get tapes made... Have about 20 bucks left... Spend that on gas and roll to LA... Just to slang tapes at shows...n Ad to tap into a different region... Get our shit out there... Sleep in cars... On couches whatever... We'd sell about 50 tapes or so in a weekend for 5 bones... And come back home broke... But to us the trips were always a success... Now... Everyones got a website with a store... It's so easy now... You don't have to leave your house and you can move 1000 units no sweat... I'd have to sum it up by saying that there's less passion nowadays... I really don't want to go any deeper into this.... Haha.

How do you see yourself at 50? And do you project yourself in the future as a rapper, I mean, do you have plans of doing something else?

At 50?.... If i make it that far... I'll still be making music....if i'm rappin still it'll probably just be for myself....but i'll still be producing...i'm a proud drop out...so....i don't think i'll ever rock a career or a 9 to 5 for that matter again....but if my life changes drastically by then....i can say i'll always have music....

What are you listening to right now... and your all time 5 favorite lps..?

Right now....i'm listening to ellay khule-califormula...alot of mandrill.....gong....totally insane....young ed....alot of my beats(not because i'm an ego maniac...but because i'm kinda forced to listen to them as i make them)....and all the myspace mc's who want me to "check out their tracks".......all time 5?......shit.....here i mean.....i'll just give you 5 incredible albums i'm listening to now.....utfo-lethal earth wind and fire-greatest hits...sade-love deluxe......cid-harder they come.....just ice-back to the old school

What about your future releases? do you plan to have some other artists on Asita?

For me i got my new album "pooretry" almost completed...that should be coming out in like sept/oct of this year....the pain killers album...which is me and my homegirl topic...that's gonna be out on beyond space ent....not really sure of the date there....but that one's bangin....we got beats from...sach...deeskee...liferexall...matth...meaty ogre...alex75 and many many more.....like i said before....the khule album is pretty much done...we're just waiting for califormula to drop....before we release it.....yeah there's gonna be alot of other folks comin out on asita....once i finish my album...i'm going to start a project with nocando....he's a younger cat coming out of blowed and his crew customer service...he's got some specific shit he wants to do so i'm making sure i'm free of all commitments before i start on that....plus an asita/la2thebay beat series....the first installment i believe will be myself...deeskee...liferexall and sach....just all instrumentals...some old some new....we'll be puttin out new ones like twice a year...featuring all the producers in the family....and i'm currently trying to do a couple projects with some other folks but so far it's just talk.....

Thanks a lot for the interview.. any last words?

I guess just thanks to all the supporters world wide....from hawaii to europe....and of course one love to all my family....blood/friends/musicians.....the people i do this for... be easy.

Interview conducted by Pseudzero for West Coast Indies, 2005.