#but imagine being in a fandom large enough that you could have an exchange entirely dedicated to different takes on one ship's first kiss

[lurking-latinist]

there sure are some specific fic exchanges out there

[nad-zeta]

Vincent - Art Class

Fandom: Ikevamp

Pairings: Vincent x Reader

Genre: Fluffffff Modern AU

Words: 1500+

Comments: Eeeeep and so the birthday bash week continues hehe! Eeeek so excited! Whooop Whooop! //dances around ❤❤ ❤😳🥺! 🥺😳❤🌈 Hope yall enjoy!!

.*:・’ﾟ:｡.*:ﾟ･’ﾟﾟ:。’ .*:・’ﾟ:｡.*:ﾟ･’ﾟﾟ:。’･ﾟ｡.*:・’ﾟ: ｡.*:・’ﾟ:｡.*:ﾟ･’ﾟﾟ:

“Would you like to go on a date?” Stood the eight little words written on a note attached to a pressed sunflower found in your jacket’s pocket after spending the evening with the friend of a mutual friend.

To say you enjoyed the evening with the golden sunshine would be a gross understatement. You had no intention of interacting with anyone at the party when you had initially arrived, yet, he found you there ��hiding in the corner— stuffing your face with snacks and well, one thing led to another, and before you knew it, you had spent the entire evening with him.

The evening was perfect, well near perfect.

A shiver went down your spine as you remembered the death glances you had received from Vincent’s younger brother, man, that guy was scary, and he certainly made it no secret that he was less than impressed with you stealing his brother’s attention away. Neither the less you whipped out the phone from your pocket with a stupidly wide grin plastered on your face as you messaged Vincent your answer.

........................

You drummed your fingers against your arms as you waited outside of the art building. Surely he would not stand you up? After all, he seemed sincere in his invitation. Then again, perhaps he had, like so many others, fallen prey to the dumbassery that was stupid bets with friends, which in turn lead to even more stupidly hurtful consequences.

Your eyes roved over the groups of people from all walks of campus life filing into the building. You were about to leave, turn around and call it quits, that is until the echo of a familiar soft voice could be heard accompanied by a heavily out of breath Vincent jogging towards you.

“I’m- so - sorry - I’m late,” came the huffed out words of the unfit artist trying to catch his breath.

You offered a friendly smile shaking your head, “not late at all. You’re right on time.”

Your anxieties seemed to melt away with the presence of the angel in the yellow cardigan and instead was replaced with a warm comfort flutter of the heart as he offered his paint-stained hands to lead you inside.

You found your seats easy enough, being placed in front of a large canvas, and handed menus to place your orders before the activities of the evening commenced. “Do you come to this kind of thing often?” you lifted your eyes from the cafe menu to curiously ask.

Vincent shot you a sheepish smile in response, racking his finger through his golden hair, letting go of a nervous chuckle, “Yes and no. You see, most of the time, I am on the other side of the canvas.”

Your eyes followed his line of sight to fall upon the art instructor for the evening before shooting back to meet Vincent’s china blues, “WAIT! YOU TEACH ART! That’s truly amazing!”

Vincent flushed a little at the comment, hand scratching the back of his neck as he looked away from your dazzling gaze, “Theo thought it might be a good way to gain exposure and encourage young new upcoming artists.”

He snuck a glance at you, only this time it was you who looked away, “now I’m a little nervous. I’m not much of an artist,” you admitted meekly, knowing your capacity for art went as far as a stickman with a triangle shape as a dress. On the other hand, you vaguely knew Vincent to be an artist of sorts, or rather, you gathered as much from word of mouth from mutual friends, but still, you’d never imagine he’d be at the level of teaching an art class.

Sensing your inner distress Vincent gently reached over and curled his fingers around your hand to give it a reassuring squeeze with some words of wisdom, “If you hear a voice within you say, you cannot paint, then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”

You lifted your gaze once more to be met with intense blue eyes shining so brightly. You repeated the word to yourself, and slowly but surely, you found your anxieties melt away, “then I’ll try my best!”

You and Vincent were in a world of your own, food having come and gone, and the instructions of the art teacher blending into the background noise of the cafe. The two of you had gone against the grain of the class, painting your own creations instead of the prescribed bowl of fruit placed in the front. And try your best you did, as orange-amber hues turned to swirling blues.

You found the suggestion to paint each other a picture as a memento to commemorate your first date more fun than a stuffy old bowl of fruit. Soooo, you ventured onto your most remarkable feat yet, painting a bright yellow sunflower to match the bright sunny warm personality of your date.

”Hey Vincent, can you show me how to make that textured effect again,” you turned to ask, swishing the paintbrush in the air with a flick of the wrist, causing the unintentional spatter of bright yellow paint to hit your and Vincent’s face.

“Oh, my gosh, i-am so s-” your apology was interrupted by the sound of giggling bubbling from Vincent’s chest, bringing about a laugh of your own.

“You are so cute,” the words slipped from his mouth as he leaned in closer, fingers brushing across your cheek in an attempt to wipe off the paint smear, only to make a bigger mess.

“Oh dear, I think I’ve made it worse,’ he admitted sheepishly, with cheeks reddening ever so slightly.

Smile, never leaving your features. You reached up to imitate him, “These now we match!”

Just before Vincent could get a word out, the two of you were interrupted by a very unimpressed instructor clearing his throat. “Am I interrupting something,” he scoffed out, causing you and Vincent to jump back a little from embarrassment.

His eyes befell the paintings before they bounced between you and Vincent. Admittingly the two of you looked like guilty school children with your hands caught in the cookie jar. And rightfully so, as not only had the two of you completely ignored the instructor for the duration of the evening, but the cosy interaction from only mere moments ago was enough to make any outsider raise a brow. Without another word, the man simply signed in defeat and shook his head as he walked away, “I don’t get paid enough for this job.”

Once the man left, you and Vincent looked at each other before bursting into laughter, scooting closer to each other once more. “You wanted to know how to create a textured effect right,” he inquired, dipping his own brush into the bright yellow paint and handing it to you.

He then wrapped his hand around yours and demonstrated the technique. Your heart picked up pace at his proximity, warm scents of vanilla, sunshine and sunflowers reaching your nose. “It’s super easy. All you have to do is blot it like this!” he said, utterly oblivious to the way your heart galloped at a hundred miles per hour or the warmth that rose to your cheeks from the simple touch of the hand.

Honestly, it was hard to focus on the task at hand when he was so close, wreaking absolute havoc to your senses. His blue eyes filled your vision, almost nose to nose, and if your brain wasn’t short-circuiting before, it sure as hell was short-circuiting now. “Got it?” he asked curiously, releasing your hand and retaking position behind his own canvas with a sunny smile.

“Y-yeah!” you managed to stutter out, trying your utmost best to reign composure.

The rest of the evening went off without a hitch, and it wasn’t before long that the class had officially come to its end. You nervously exchanged paintings with Vincent, eyes roving over the picture of a thousand sunflowers in the bright lower field. “This is amazing”, the two of you spoke at the same time. Giggles erupted once more between the two of you as you nervously shifted your eyes away from the man tucking a stray hair behind your ear, “You really think so.”

Vincent nodded, blue eyes shining as he struggled to tear it away from the painting. “Of course, in fact, I might have to hide this away from Theo, else he might try and sell it off,” he said with a bashful smile.

With ever reddening cheeks, a question lingers in his china blues as he looked you straight in the eyes, “y-you think you might want to go on another”

Your heart soared at the question of a second date; you imagined you must have been wearing just as flustered a look as he was, as you somehow actually managed to stutter out, “I-I’d really like that.”

The two of you shared a final parting smile leaving the place, paintings in hand and plans to meet up again for a second date.

[ejlovespie]

Crazed (Pt. 1)

Pt. 1 of this series.

Fandom: Supernatural 

Summary: A hunt gone wrong leaves you with a hex that drives you and Dean crazy with lust.  

Pairing: Dean x reader 

Word Count: 2016

Warnings: 18+ Please do not read this if you are underage. Language, smut, female & male masturbation with more to come...

You were starting to seriously regret going on this hunt. Sitting in the back seat of the impala, you and the Winchester boys were driving back to the bunker after what you had thought was a successful hunt. After three days you had found and ganked the witch who was causing men in the area to literally go crazy with lust. The witch had a vendetta on men and her favorite flavor was married cheaters. If you were being honest with yourself you understood her anger. A woman scorned and all. However, these guys didn’t deserve to die in the way they did...And now you were thinking you were screwed too. 

During the big showdown, the witch had gotten the drop on them. She knew they were coming for her so she was ready when they got there. She had immediately incapacitated Sam, who was lying on the floor in the corner. Then she had gone for Dean; putting him in a choke hold. You stepped in, stabbing the bitch in the back to get her off but unfortunately for you, she mumbled an incantation at you before the lights went out. At first, nothing happened so you had hoped you had gotten lucky. The witch messed up or she didn’t have enough juice left to give her words power. It took about an hour for you to feel anything. 

The three of you were headed back, dirty and disheveled from the fight, when a tingling heat started up in your belly. It was low and simmering, leaving you a little breathless but it wasn’t painful, just unexpected and odd. It was actually kind of pleasant but after a few minutes it started to ramp up. Little by little, the tingling was changing and turning into an ache. That combined with being in a small confined space with the two big hunters was starting to frazzle you. The smell in the car was suddenly too much. A mix of gunpowder, gasoline, leather, and the boy’s musky scents didn’t sound like a pleasant combination but you had always liked it. Except it was way too potent now. Filling your nose and making you a little light headed. On top of that, you were way too hot, despite the cold temperature outside. Rolling down the window, you practically stuck your face out like a dog to get some fresh air. You started fidgeting in your seat as the ache kept growing and you became aware of the new wetness in-between your thighs. Why wasn’t the cold air helping? 

Dean had noticed all your fidgeting and weird panting. Starting to worry that you were hurt or feeling ill, he turned his head to look at you and said, 

“You okay back there sweetheart?”   

Dean’s deep, gravelly voice was too much and it caused a reaction in you that you hadn’t expected. His voice made the tingly, aching heat in your belly change into tiny bolts of lust. Gasping, you struggled to breathe without panting and responded as calmly as possible, 

“I’m fine. It’s just hot in here.” 

Sam had been reading something on his phone, oblivious to the situation but now he looked over at his brother, a frown on his face. They were in the middle of a Kansas winter and it was cold in the car, despite the heat being turned on. The boys exchanged confused looks before Sam finally turned around to look at you. 

Sam looked at you and instantly knew something was wrong. He noted your flushed cheeks and the light beads of sweat above your lip and brow. He noticed your fidgeting and your quiet but heavy breaths. When you looked up at him Sam’s eyes went wide with surprise. He saw that your Y/E/C eyes had gone completely dark. Your pupils were blown and a heavy expression filled them. Although he hadn’t seen you like this before, he knew it was desire. 

You quickly turned your face away from Sam and looked back out at the window. Where were we? How long of a drive would it be until you got back to the bunker? It felt like hours had past but you were struggling to concentrate on anything besides what was happening to your body.

Sam was definitely worried now and turned back to Dean. 

“Dean, stop the car.” 

You barely heard Sam’s voice and you didn’t register the car pulling off to the side of the road until Dean had parked. Dean gave Sam an annoyed look and then glanced back at you. His green eyes suddenly went wide and his mouth dropped open. Normally, it would have been funny but now you had the focused attention of both Winchester boys and it was devastating to your body. It was too much and your panties were now soaked. You knew if you stood up, there would be a noticeable wet spot on your jeans. Dean’s mouth snapped shut and then he said in a low, husky voice, 

“Y/N what’s going on?” 

You could smell your arousal now and that thought didn’t even have the time to to embarrass you before it happened. The tiny bolts of lust suddenly ramped up again and a full on orgasm struck you. You came fast and hard, pure lust jolting your body and without permission, a cry left your lips. 

Now, both of the Winchester’s eyes went cartoon-ishly wide and their mouths dropped open. Y/N’s eyes slammed shut as her hands gripped the backseat of the impala and a cry of pleasure ripped from her lips. Dean choked on what he was about to say when the most sexual sound he had ever heard came out of Y/N’s mouth. Did she just have an orgasm because that’s what it looked and sounded like. Was that even possible? Not even a second after he thought it, her smell filled his nose. Her musky and sweet sex smell was surrounding him and he was so shocked his brain had short circuited. Without thought, Dean’s hand automatically went to his hardening cock. Suddenly, Sam jumped out of the car simultaneously feeling freaked out and turned on. Why was this happening?

After the orgasm, you had a moment of clarity. Loosening your death grip on the seat cushion you opened your eyes to see Dean’s dark green stare. His thick lips were parted now and his voice was low and seductive when he said, 

“Did you just have an orgasm in my backseat?” 

The lust in your belly had cooled but now you felt the entire process happening all over again. You realized your nipples were rock hard and rubbing painfully against the fabric of your cheap cotton bra. Suddenly, Sam opened the door and leaned in to look at you more closely. 

“The witch. Did she say anything to you before you killed her?” 

Oh Shit. With how distracted you had become you had completely forgotten about the witch and what she had said to you. 

“Yes. She mumbled something before she died but I didn’t catch all of what she said.”

The heat in your belly was ramping up again, faster this time and you closed your eyes. Taking deep and slow breaths. You focused and repeated the words you could remember the witch saying to you. Sam asked you if she had touched you or if she had slipped a hex bag into your pocket and you shook your head. Sam spoke again. 

“Y/N, she must have hexed you. The guys she killed were dying because they were driven crazy by lust and I think the same thing is happening to you.”

You weren't hearing his words anymore and Sam was too close. The mix of his natural musky smell and the hint of his cologne was filling your nose and driving you crazy. You tried fighting the feeling inside you but you had been unconsciously leaning towards Sam. Without thought, you reached for his hand, grabbing it and bringing it to your breast. Sam jerked and pulled away from you causing his fingers to graze over your hardened nipple. You moaned loudly and whined when he backed away. Sam took several steps back, his face on fire and his jeans too tight for comfort. His best friend was in trouble and he couldn’t focus long enough to help her. 

Dean on the other hand watched the whole encounter and was pissed. He had always imagined what it would be like. Usually at night, alone in his bed with his hand wrapped around his cock. He would picture Y/N and imagine the way she would look when her beautiful Y/E/C eyes filled with desire and he would wrap his hands in her Y/H/C hair and fuck her until she came for him. He had dreamed about the sounds she would make and the way she would taste and how she would open up for him. Now, he was finally seeing his fantasy come to life and it was all wrong. 

Dean jumped out of the car too and stomped over to Sam. 

“This is bad Sammy. The bitch is dead so why is the hex working on her?” 

You were vaguely aware that the boys were outside and it sounded like they were arguing. Shit. Shit. Shit. The witch really fucked you over. At this point you were starting to loose control again and the ache was consuming you. Your brain wasn’t working right. You touched yourself against your jeans and it felt so good that you started to rub yourself through the fabric. The pleasure was so intense, that you didn’t notice Dean walk back over to you until your eyes flew open and you saw him staring at you. His expression was dark and so sexy. He was leaning towards you in the back of the impala. His large presence and delicious smell combined with the movement of your hand had another orgasm tearing through you. Another loud cry escaped your lips and this time the waves of pleasure kept ripping through you, intensified by Dean’s hungry look. You were moaning and panting now, unable to stop the feeling inside of you. Biting your lip you stared and Dean and he stared back at you with a look you had never seen before. 

“Dean. I..It won’t stop...I can’t control myself. Wh..Whatever that bitch did to me, It..it’s going to keep getting worse.”  

You panted the words out in between heavy breaths. Dean wanted to lay his hand on your cheek and tell you it would be okay but he was afraid to touch you. Scratch that. He wanted to do a lot more than that but he took a deep breath and reigned in his desire.  

“Don’t worry sweetheart. We are going to get you home and figure this out.” 

With superhuman strength, Dean backed up, called Sam over and got back in the driver’s seat. For the next few hours, they drove home and it was unbearably tense. The car smelled like sex, even with all of the windows rolled down. Y/N had been making an effort to keep her panting and sexy moaning as quiet as possible but every small sound was deafening to Dean’s ears. He turned some music on to help distract them all but regardless, they sat with their teeth gritted. Every time she came she would cry out and it took everything he had in him to keep driving and ignore her. At one point it became too much and they had to pull over to put hand cuffs on Y/N to keep her from rubbing herself. 

When they finally got back to the bunker, Y/N had finally tired herself out a bit and was mewling in her sleep. Dean gently carried her to her room, settling her into bed before quickly leaving. Finally, he couldn’t help himself anymore. He stripped out of his clothes, locked himself in the bathroom, and imagined her and the noises he had been listening to all night. Turning on the shower he didn’t wait for the water to heat before he jumped in and fisted his throbbing cock. Under the icy cold water, Dean stroked himself until he came hard and fast, groaning in frustration that he wasn’t coming with her.

To be Continued...

A/N: This is my first fan fiction so I am nervous but really excited to share it with you. I would love to hear any feedback you have to give. Any mistakes are mine. Thank you for reading! :)  

[procrastinatorimagines]

Hostage

Fandom: Chicago PD / One Chicago

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Warning/s: hostage situation

Word Count: 1,727

Requests:  Can I have a jayxreader imagine where reader likes Jay, but thinks him and Erin are a couple, she talks to Kim about it, and so she kinda avoids them both, then she somehow gets In like a hostage situation and Jay is panicking about it and when they go in he goes to her to check on her and she just brushes him off and ignores him more 😔 and when they get back to PD he corners her In locker room to ask why she’s ignoring him and confessions are made 

   // AND // 

Hi! Could I request a Jay x reader in which goes crazy with worry when reader exchanges herself in a hostage situation (exchange wasn't planned beforehand)! Thank you!

It was strange, the things you thought about when you had a gun pointed at your head, and you’d know, this wasn’t exactly the first time. 

When the drug exchange Intelligence organised had gone sideways in the backroom of a bar in Canaryville and a patron had been taken hostage, you’d decided to do the smartest and most well thought out thing you could think of: you offered to take her place at the other end of the barrel.

Needless to say, this wasn’t the turn of events your unit had planned for, and you just knew the exact conversation you’d be having with Voight about your recklessness later. If there was a later. 

But a civilian was safe and out of harms way, you’d done your duty.

Your Sergeant had sent you in with Jay to make the deal, though you weren’t actually partners, but Jay had the Canaryville insight you needed to make an introduction and Erin had spoken to your suspect in an official capacity the previous day, so Voight had paired the two of you up together. 

Now, you couldn’t help but think about the conversation you’d had with Kim, your actual partner, that morning about the whole situation, despite the gun to your head and Jay panicking in front of you, unable to give up your covers but trying his best to talk down your erratic suspect. 

The whole situation being your feelings for Jay. Oh yeah, you had it bad. And the make it even worse, you were pretty sure he and Erin were together anyway. Kim had told you she wasn’t sure, but everyone had noticed the tension between Jay and Voight recently, and his not so subtle warnings about keeping things professional with Erin. He always swore it was, but you couldn’t help but wonder.

So you’d decided to try and avoid them both, sort out your feelings, but apparently that was too much to ask for when you’d found yourself partnered up with Jay. 

“Listen man, we can work this out okay, we have the money, we showed it to you,” Jay tried to reason with Barney, the suspect in question with the very much loaded gun. He’d been jumpy from the get go, twitching during the entire deal, and Jay had wanted to pull out. You, however, had had to be stubborn, still annoyed about him and Erin even though you’d had no right to be, and so you’d insisted you stay. 

Voight was so going to chew you out for this.

“Nah, nah man I don’t like this, something’s not right,” Barney shook his head, his gun hand very much as unsteady as the rest of him - was he high? Not that it mattered in the moment, you didn’t have to be a sniper to find your mark when the barrel of your gun was firmly pressed into the side of a person’s forehead.

Jay took a deep breath, eyes wide with worry as he looked to you, “take the money,” he blurted, hands still out to try and show Barney he wasn’t a threat.

“No man, the deals not happening-” Barney tried to tell Jay again, but he only shook his head.

“I’m not talking about that deal, okay? Take the money and give me back Rachel,” he offered instead, still using your cover name in an attempt to keep the situation from going nuclear.

You blinked, surprised by his offer, you hadn’t expected him to go quite so off the book. Barney seemed to hesitate too, “the money for the girl?” He clarified slowly, other arm slacking a little from where it had been wrapped around the top of your chest and shoulders.

Jay nodded immediately, slowly and deliberately reaching for the bag of money on the table and dropping it at his feet, Barney’s eyes following it with eager curiosity. He may have been suspicious, but he wasn’t very bright. 

The whole point of the exchange was to see the drugs and make the bust, not that pointing a gun at someone wasn’t cause for an arrest enough, but you’d needed to see the product to link it back to a bigger supplier, without that, you were back to square one and out a fair amount of money. 

But Jay didn’t seem to be thinking about that right now, he seemed to be entirely focused on you.

“I kick you the money at the same time as you let her go, how about that?” Jay negotiated, not really hiding his concern. Part of you wanted to object, this wasn’t exactly the objective, but you weren’t in any position to argue, if you’d just listened to Jay in the first place this wouldn’t have happened. 

Barney mulled it over before nodding, the large bag of cash being too good to resist as his grip on you started to relax. Jay kicked over the money, gesturing for him to let you go and take it. 

Hell no, you thought. As soon as his grip on you had relaxed enough you aimed a sharp elbow to his gut, throwing another one into his nose as he stumbled back, spinning around and disarming him before he knew what was happening. 

Intelligence was bursting in in seconds, Jay rushing to you to make sure you were okay. “Y/N, Y/N are you okay?” He reached a hand out to your shoulder but you brushed him off, shaking out your arm and rubbing your elbow.

“Fine,” you basically snapped, surprising him. Honestly, you were more annoyed at yourself at this point, but for some reason you were taking it out on Jay. You knew it wasn’t fair, but you needed some space right now, heading past him to Kim as Erin cuffed Barney, trying not to look at Jay’s confused and hurt face. 

-

A tonne of paperwork and an ear full from Voight later you found yourself sat in the locker room at the end of your shift, head in hands as you thought about the day, unable to make yourself move. 

You’d let your personal feelings for Jay interfere with your job, something you’d wanted to specifically try to avoid by avoiding him and Erin in general, but it clearly hadn’t worked. What were you going to do?

“You still here?” A voice came from behind you, making you jump as you looked back to see Jay wandering in, heading for his locker as he regarded you carefully. 

“Just heading out,” you replied coldly, forcing yourself up to grab your things out of your locker as quickly as you could.

Jay, however, had other ideas. As you slammed your locker shut and turned to leave, echoing a generic ‘night’ in his direction as you did, he stepped quickly into your path.

You nearly collided into him, blinking in confusion. “Jay-” you began but he cut you off.

“You’ve been avoiding me for days, and today- Y/N, I don’t understand what I did, I thought we were at least friends, but you’ve been giving me the cold shoulder and I need to know why,” he said, clearly getting something off of his chest that he’d been debating saying for a while.

You took a breath, not sure what you’d expected really, of course you couldn’t have kept it up forever, but you weren’t really prepared to answer him. “I- I’m not- look, I know I messed up today-”

“It’s not just about today Y/N, but if I’ve done something to offend you I’m sorry, we need to talk about it though, sort it out so it doesn’t affect our job again,” Jay explained, expression softening as he added: “you could have been seriously hurt today, and I couldn’t handle that.”

“I’m sorry,” you swallowed, mind racing to come up with something to day besides telling him the truth, “it’s not you, really it’s not, I’m figuring something out... it won’t happen again,” you promised. 

“If something’s wrong, I’m here if you need to talk,” he offered, “I’m worried Y/N, I care about you and I-” Jay stopped himself, as if saying something he shouldn’t have.

“I’m good Jay, and I don’t want to keep you, if Erin’s waiting upstairs-” you slipped up, wincing in realisation as Jay gave you a puzzled look.

“Erin? Why would Erin be waiting, she went home about an hour ago I think,” Jay told you, “you almost sound like Voight.”

“Is he... wrong?” You dared ask, kicking yourself for even doing it, definitely not being subtle anymore. Though, you hadn’t exactly been subtle before. 

“About me and Erin? There’s nothing going on between me and Erin, she’s not the one I... I just, no, I don’t like Erin like that,” Jay fumbled an explanation, looking a little sheepishly at his feet.

“Oh,” you replied, sounding a little too happy about that fact as you thought about his words, “but you do... like someone like that?”

Jay looked back up at you, rubbing the back of his neck. “Don’t you know?” He asked, looking at you in a way you couldn’t quite describe. 

You looked at him questioningly, mind trying to figure out who he was talking about as he looked at you, and then it dawned. Was he talking about you? He couldn’t be, could he? No, surely not. But the way he had said that, the way he was looking at you...

“Oh,” you gasped as he cleared his throat, looking embarrassed. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything, it’s not like I expect anything-” he started but you cut him off with a surprised laugh. Well, he’d been honest with you, the least you could do was be honest back.

“Jay, that’s kind of why I’ve been avoid you,” you said, clarifying quickly when you saw his face fall, “not because I thought you liked me, but because I thought you were with Erin, and I liked you, I like you, and I didn’t want to be weird or awkward, which I guess it exactly how I ended up acting really, but...” - breath god damn it - “I feel the same way, is I guess what I’m trying badly to get across.”

There was a pause before Jay smiled, you loved that smile, “can I buy you a drink?” He offered, gesturing towards the door. 

You smiled back, “I’d like that.”

[itsclydebitches]

I ask you because you’re good at articulating your thoughts but why do you like BB? I just wanna know the hype behind this ship, I’ve seen people outside the fandom either say they’re waiting for it to be canon to get into the show or they claim it’s the only good thing about it.

Hey, anon! Ah, getting a lovely compliment about articulating thoughts while I sit here struggling to articulate my thoughts lol.

Okay, I want to start by saying that I personally like Yang/Blake about as much as the majority of the ships I have. Meaning, the 95% of fictional characters I enjoy seeing as a canonical couple and/or imagining as a potential couple, excluding the 5% that I get really, really into. I've got OTPs and I've got casual ships. BB is the latter. Why is this important? Because I think BB has been under an extreme amount of pressure over the years, with that pressure only increasing as time goes on and that... kinda sucks. They represent the growing demand for explicitly queer relationships. They're tied to a webseries and a fandom rather infamous at this point for its heated, controversial content. They're a part of an era where fans are more focused than ever on canonical status, whereas back in the day you just enjoyed ships for the hell of it, regardless of their chances of getting together on screen. It used to be that people unironically adored ships for characters who had never exchanged a single greeting. Nowadays, you need a ten page essay explaining why the ship is supposedly The Best. Blake/Yang is bound up in all of that, resulting in a community that, yeah, hypes things up to an arguably unnecessary degree. We've reached a point where this couple supposedly makes or breaks the entire show; it's either the greatest ship to every grace the small screen, or it's the ruin of the entire franchise. In reality, Blake/Yang is just... a ship. Like any other ship. Some people like it. Some people don't. It should be far more casual than it is. Which isn't to say fans aren't justified in being invested in the politics of the queer relationship — I am — or even just emotionally invested in a ship they really enjoy, but rather that I think the hype is due more to these external factors than the relationship itself. Blake and Yang arguably aren't unique in what makes them an attractive couple. Are they important in terms of that representation for an American webseries? Yes. Are they exceptional in regards to these two character types being shipped by a fandom? Not by a longshot. I could give you hundreds of ships that look just like Blake and Yang.

And that for me is part of the appeal. I like many of the same sorts of things in my ships. One of those is the "opposites attract" setup, where we have the brash party girl coupled with the quieter bookworm. They balance each other in a number of significant ways, from fighting styles to their backgrounds. And, for fic purposes, that balance can also provide great conflict for them to work through, resulting in a stronger couple down the line. Going off of that, I enjoy that they're already partners at the (near) start of the show. The different definitions of "partner" is always fun, but beyond that — and despite the before mentioned shipping of characters who have never interacted — there's a tendency to pair of the duos who have already been paired up by the story. There's a sense of inevitability about it (fate, perhaps?) alongside the practical benefit of them getting a lot of screen time together. There's a reason why Blake/Yang and Ruby/Weiss got popular, with the former arguably surpassing the latter only because of its likelihood of becoming canon. We reached a point where the show is actively pushing Blake/Yang in a way they never did Ruby/Weiss — their coding is far stronger — and that creates a snowball effect: popular ships keep getting more popular the more attention they're paid; you pay the popular stuff more attention. Round and round we go. But I also enjoy their awkward flirting and tender moments, no matter how many problems might be attached to those in the story's context. I like how they tease and push one another — even if, again, the story has largely failed in that regard. They have a lot of good potential, shall we say, which is all a fan ever needs. Whether you're analyzing one of their clearly coded moments, or just running with the balanced color scheme — Yang has purple eyes with Blake wearing purple, Blake has yellow eyes with Yang wearing yellow — there's a lot in the show to connect them together, making the already easy job of shipping even easier.

Blake/Yang is a solid ship. They just also happen to be a ship bearing most of the weight of their show. I've made the comparison before, but it's not unlike Dean/Cas becoming the cornerstone of Supernatural. You reach a point where the story itself is such a mess that the most popular pairing becomes the supposed answer to all these problems: it's either the saving grace, or the reason for the show's destruction. It'll either save RWBY or function as the explanation for its downfall. Yang/Blake is heading more and more in that direction, either built up or torn down to an extreme degree as it tries to bear that weight. But honestly? I don't think it's any better or worse than those hundred other ships I could toss out. Ignoring the f/f rep, they're a pretty classic setup, a dime a dozen, and the important takeaway is that there's nothing wrong with that. There's a reason pairings like Blake/Yang got popular in the first place. Saying "I've seen it before" isn't a bad thing because fans like familiarity. But it simultaneously means they're not the best thing since sliced bread. They're neither the devil nor the angel the RWBY community has made them out to be.

So basically, my own casual enjoyment aside, I don't think the external factors propelling the love/hatred for the ship means the ship itself is actually that astounding or horrific. In a better written show, a less controversial show, setting aside those fans who have Yang/Blake as their first OTP and are pouring all that intense love into it, etc. I think the ship would still be popular... but we wouldn't be in this "it's the only good thing about the show"/"this was the show's downfall" territory. Pretty much every large fandom is going to develop that one, popular ship — just look at how fast Loki/Mobius happened — which shows that Blake/Yang is not unique in regards to getting the majority of a community's attention. It's just that other shows are solid enough to let ships be ships, without expecting any one ship to prove the show's worth. Or herald its downfall.

[ofstoriesandstardust]

The 5 Times Luther Thinks He’s in Love With You (and the one time he actually does something about it)

A/N: I’ve never written for Luther before but I am full on simping for this man. I know he’s kinda hated in the fandom so we’ll see if this fares better then my Diego piece. No, I still haven’t finished season 2 yet. If I were to spend as much time watching TUA as I did reading and writing fan fiction about it, I would’ve finished weeks ago. This might be super out of character for Luther so hopefully this doesn’t suck. It also ended up being way longer then I had intended and is officially the longest thing I’ve ever written. I think it starts out mediocre and ends strong so there’s that. 

masterlist | prompt list

warnings: takes place post-season 2 but my own version again, Ben came back to life again because I said so, my trauma, canon childhood abuse, trauma, and reference to drugs, swearing, 

word count: 6,438

i. the time you treat his siblings like your own

The first time Luther thinks he might be in love with you is the day Klaus gets out of rehab...again. Over the last year, the Hargreeves clan has worked hard to get Klaus clean and sober, and Ben coming back to life was a big push for Klaus to get help. Unfortunately, it’s been more downs than it had been ups. As a survivor of childhood abuse yourself, you had told Luther it would take time for the mental scars their father left behind to heal and Klaus was no exception. Still, Luther had thought the process would go a little bit smoother than it had, and it killed him to watch his brother relapse again and again, and the toll it took on Diego and Ben every time he did. However, they thought this time might be different. Klaus had made a lot of progress during this last stint in rehab, progress he hadn’t made before. You coming into the Hargreeves family and becoming a rock to the siblings had brought a lot unexpected comfort to Klaus, that someone outside the family cared for him and his well-being. It had been a push he needed, and you really believed he’d stay clean this time.

Diego and Ben had volunteered to pick the seance up from rehab, with the other siblings arriving at your apartment to create some sort of semblance of a ‘welcome home’ party. You had volunteered to watch Klaus the next few weeks, knowing the Academy was no place for him to be. How could he stay sober living on the streets or at the home of all his abuse? And seeing as you didn’t drink, there was no alcohol for Klaus to even access if he wanted to. Luther had been adamant you didn’t need to go out of your way to make a space for Klaus but you had over ruled him with the support of Ben and Diego and the decision was made whether Luther liked it or not. 

Over the course of the last year or so, you had sort of tumbled into his life, crashing straight into Luther one morning as he was leaving Griddy’s. It had snowed the night before, and the street was icy, and the next thing he knew, someone had walked straight into his large frame and was tumbling towards the ground. Luther reached out, large hands wrapping around your much smaller frame, and hoisting you back up before you could hit the ground. He awkwardly cleared his throat and put you back down on the ground. “Sorry about that.” He mumbled, overwhelmed by the fact that he had stupidly almost sent the pretty girl crash-landing to the ground. 

“It was my fault, really. Shoulda been looking were I was going.” You said. Fate, however had other plans, when Ben came along the road. You turned to greet him, and his eyes drifted from you to Luther. He stopped next to you and a shit-eating smirk grew on his face. “Well, (Y/N), it looks like you’ve met my brother Luther. Luther, this is my co-worker (Y/N).” Luther had a moment of realization, understanding he had knocked into Ben’s favorite co-worker at the bookstore/cafe he talked so much about. Ben invited Luther back inside to Griddy’s as the two of you got breakfast before your shift and Luther agreed, not having a much better plan. Allison was in Manhattan with Vanya, Klaus was doing a stint in rehab, Diego was working at the gym, and Five was off god-knows-where doing god-knows-what. The breakfast was quite enjoyable, Luther observing your comfortable energy and your kind nature. You had offered your number to Luther before parting with Ben, in case “he ever needed a friend”. It wasn’t long after that, that the family had had a tumble towards rock-bottom as Klaus got out of rehab, immediately seeking the nearest drug he could get his hands on. Ben had asked you to come over and the support you offered the family through your experiences with an alcoholic mother and comfort had irrevocably changed your position and meaning to the family and to Luther. While Luther had always felt you were closest to him, the closest thing he had to a best friend, he couldn’t unsee the way you joked with Klaus, the support you offered Diego, the witty banter you’d exchange with Five, the conversations you’d have with Allison, the encouragement you offered Vanya, and the normalcy you brought Ben. He always thought that you liked them a little bit better, but every time, you were able to read that he was too far into his self-doubt, and assured him that he was and would always be your best friend. 

This time was no different. As Klaus returned to the apartment and was practically glued to your side, he felt that small piece of him rile up again, making him want to shrink to the background. As the night wore on, he felt himself retreat further and further behind the walls in which he had put up. He had hoped to get a moment alone with you, which didn’t seem promising. But luck was on his side, and an opportunity arose, which came in the form of a Mario-Kart tournament. You excused yourself and Luther from the first few rounds, asking for his help with the dishes. He felt confused, as you always stated doing the dishes helped you focus and relax. You turned the water on, beginning to wash dishes and handing them to him to dry. He did so, in silence for a few minutes, but not a bad one. “You know that Klaus staying doesn’t change how I feel about you, right?” you said quietly, as to not let the Hargreeves overhear your discussion of one of his biggest insecurities. He nodded.

“Yeah, I know.” he said in a gruff voice, looking out over the city from your window, avoiding looking at you. 

“Luther.” You said sternly and he chanced a glance at you. “You know I love your family like my own siblings and you know I would do anything for them.” He felt his stomach beginning to sink as he waited for the other shoe to drop that would never come. “But, you, you’re my best friend in the entire world. Nobody’ll ever come close.” You said, nudging his shoulder and turning back to the dishes. He looked down at you, and looked at the way your face was lit up by the light of the moon, and he looked back up the moon to where he spent so many years in isolation, hoping one day he’d get to meet someone like you. He was starting to think that he didn’t want to be just best friends anymore... and that thought scared him almost more than anything. 

ii. the time he can’t imagine his life without you

The thought that does scare him more than anything is the thought of losing you. It’s never been a thought he’s allowed to stay in his mind long; shuddering away from the thought of losing you to the cold clutches of death, the way he lost Ben, the way he had thought he lost Five. Unfortunately, he is forced to confront the thought one night. Diego shows up the Academy, clutching you in his arms, cuts and bruises littering your frame. Luther is the only home at the time, everyone else either gone, living their lives or in the case of Five, at Griddy’s. Diego sets you down in a chair and with the exception of the minor physical harm and the fact that you can’t seem to stop shaking, you seem to be alright. “I’ll explain in a minute. Where’s Mom?” Diego asks quietly. This seems to snap Luther out of his state of shock, that if Diego thought your injuries might be bad enough to have Mom look over them, he needs to present and here. 

“Diego, I told you-” you winced, a movement neither Hargreeves boy missed, “I’m fine.” 

“Even still, Mom should check you out anyways. I think she’s upstairs. Do you want me to go get her?” Luther said softly. Diego shook his head. 

“Nah, I’ll go grab her. You stay with (Y/N).” Luther nodded and took a tentative seat next to you, wanting nothing more than to reach out and pull you into his arms and quell all your fear and make you forget all this pain and-

“Oh, (Y/N), darling.” Mom’s soft voice reaches his ears. She checked you over, determining that all the injuries you sustained were minor and would heal within the next few days. 

“See, Diego. I told you I was fine.” You snapped, as Mom put a kettle on the stove to make tea for the three of you. 

“What even happened, (Y/N/N)?” Luther asked softly, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, almost missing the way you leaned into his touch. Diego sighed and pinched the bridge of his noise. 

“I was wondering the same thing myself.” He grumbled. 

“It was just some creepy guy. I was fine.” The tension in the room is so thick one Diego’s knives could cut through it as the implications of what your sentence meant settled. A endless train of possibilities of what ifs fly through Luther’s brain that he almost misses what happens next. 

“Fine?!” Diego asks incredulous. “Fine?! (Y/N), he had a knife-”

“I had it handled!” You said indignantly. 

“You could have been killed!” Diego shouts, and the silence that follows is undeniably terrifying for all three of you. You looked to Luther, who must’ve looked like a fish out of water, gaping at you, struggling to come to terms with what Diego had just said. 

“I might not be a superhero, but I can take care of myself.” You said, voice soft now, not making eye contact with either boy. Luther looks at Diego, who is clearly ready to make another argument and Luther finds the fear growing inside of him at an alarming rate. Luther stands up abruptly, his chair toppling over behind him.

“(Y/N), you could have died.” Luther says, now growing concerned regarding your apparent lack of concern for your well-being. The fear and panic spreading through his body seems ice-cold and the thought that Diego could have brought your lifeless corpse back to the Academy instead is rooting him to his now standing position. You look up at him. 

“Okay, well I didn’t. I’m fine and here to live another day. Nothing worse then any thing you guys have done, and besides-”

“(Y/N), I could have lost you!” Luther yells, surprising all three of you. You look up at him. “After losing Ben, after losing Five, after everything that’s happened-” Luther goes quiet, choking on words he isn’t sure he means. I’m in love with you. I can’t do this without you. “I can’t lose you too.” His voice is soft and you look away from him, biting your lip.

“I’m sorry, okay? My co-worker called out, I didn’t think anything would happen. I've walked home a million times after closing, it’s never been an issue. I thought I had the situation under control.” You refuse to make eye contact with either boy, glaring a hole into the table. The silence remains for a while longer and Diego eventually excuses himself, saying you’ll finish the discussion in the morning. Mom put your tea down on the table, and you startle, seemingly forgetting the AI was still there. She leaves you and Luther alone in the kitchen with a gentle smile. Your hands are still trembling as your hands wrap around the cup, and Luther almost takes one of them in his own, but decides against it.

“I’m just glad you’re okay.” He says, softly. You look over at him, if for only a moment. He needs to start sorting of these thoughts of love he has towards you, but for right now, he’s just glad you’re still with him. 

iii. the time Diego teases him

A month or so passes between that night and the next time Luther is forced to confront his foreign feelings for you. It’s early one morning and the eldest Hargreeves boys are sitting in a comfortable silence as Grace walks around the kitchen making breakfast. Diego is the first to break the silence. “So, Luther,” he begins, a shit-eating smirk upon his face, not unlike the one Ben wore the day you and Luther met. Luther stiffens, concerned about whatever is about to come out of his brother’s mouth. As good as their relationship has been since Texas, Luther can’t help but feel like there will always be a sort of unspoken tension between the two of them that will never truly go away, residual feelings of competition leftover from their childhood. “When are you going to tell her?” Luther stares at Diego, utterly confused about what the boy might be asking. 

“Tell who what?” Luther asks, which in response, prompts Diego to roll his eyes. 

“Don’t play dumb. I see how you look at her. When are you going to tell her?” Diego says, smirking. “C’mon, you can tell me. This is a safe space.” 

“Tell who- Allison?” Luther blurts the name out, the only girl he can think of that Diego might be referring too. Diego startles at the name-drop of their sister. 

“What- no, not Allison!” Diego splutters. “Jeez, you really have no idea who I’m talking about, do you?” Luther shakes his head. “I’m talking about (Y/N).” Luther relaxes at the sound of your name and sinks back into his chair, but he’s still concerned about what Diego thinks he needs to tell you.

“What am I supposed to be telling her?” Luther asks to which Diego shoots him a look. Luther finally understands, at least, he thinks he does. “I’m not telling her about my... condition.” Luther says, the word feeling weird on his tongue. It’s an open secret the family never speaks about, sensing Luther’s insecurities. 

“That’s not- she doesn’t know?!” Diego asks, incredulously. 

“Not unless one of you told her.” Luther says, anger growing in him at the thought of one of his siblings going behind his back and telling you, his closest friend, his deepest secret and biggest insecurity. He doesn’t need you to look at him the way his siblings do, with pity. 

“Luther- Luther you have to tell her.” Diego says, his voice firm. “She has a right to know.” Luther casts a dark look at his younger brother. 

“Right to know what? Right to know how Dad mutilated my body?! Right to know that no one will ever love me because of it?!” Luther asks, the anger (and fear) seeping into his tone. Diego sits back in his chair, not breaking eye contact with the blond boy. The quiet in the kitchen settles as Grace put the plates down in front of them but unlike before, this one isn’t comfortable. It’s awkward  and there’s strong emotion radiating off of the two boys. 

“Thanks, Mom.” Diego says quietly, but Luther doesn’t say anything, not trusting his voice. “I was actually going to ask when you were going to tell the poor girl you’re in love with her.” Diego says, beginning to cut up the pancake on his plate. Luther startles and his eyes widen, looking back up from his food to face Diego. 

“I don’t-” Now it’s Luthers turn to splutter through his words, struggling to form a cohesive sentence. 

“You do, Luther, you sooo do.” Diego responds, the shit-eating grin returning to his face. Luther just stares at Diego. “I see the way you look at her. The way you drop everything to be near her, the stupid little smile you get whenever someone talks about her or she comes over, I see it.” Luther shrugs, feeling like he’s wading through concrete, trying to form a sentence in response to Diego’s too accurate statement. 

“She’s our best friend.” Luther says, shrugging with a fake nonchalant attitude. The word friend feels foreign ion his tongue and wishes he could use something else that would more accurately describe his feelings for you. 

“Sure, but I’d be concerned if Ben started looking at her the way you do.” Luther stares at Diego, the confusion returning. “Your face lights up whenever you see her.” Luther remains dumbfounded and quiet, sensing Diego had a point he wanted to get to. “I’m not the only one who thinks it either. We all see it. Sure, she’s our best friend and like a sister to us, but you, you’re in love with the girl.” Diego must take Luther’s silence as a reason to continue, because Diego puts his fork down and looks at Luther seriously. “I only bring all of this up because- well, if you don’t tell her soon, she won’t- won't stick around forever.” 

At Diego’s words, it feels as if someone has dropped a rock in Luther’s stomach and he thinks he might be sick. The thought of you leaving- “She’s a patient person, but she’s not going to wait forever for you to figure out your feelings. So if you are in love with her, and I know that you are, you need to tell her- tell her everything.” Diego stresses the last word and Luther gathers that he means his condition as well. Luther wants to shove his plate away, walk away from Diego, and lay in his bed for the rest of the day, pretending that he hadn’t been forced to confront these feelings he isn’t ready to have for you. 

Instead he mumbles out a “She’ll hate me.” Diego sighs. 

“She won't hate you. I’m pretty sure she feels the same way but you’d have to ask Vanya or Ben for that answer, Lord knows she confides in them more than me.” Luther looks back up at Diego. “Besides, even if she doesn’t feel the same way, she won’t hate you.” 

“But it will change things.” 

“Sometimes change can be a good thing.”

“Not in this family.” Luther mutters as Five makes an appearance, the blue light startling Diego. The conversation gets left there but Luther can’t help but mull over Diego’s words, wondering if he’s right. 

iiii. the time you have a fight 

You and Luther’s friendship has been struggling, he knows it just as well as you do. Ever since his conversation with Diego, Luther has been pulling into himself, retreating further and further away from you. He’s not being a good friend, he knows that, and you deserve better, and he knows that too. Still, he can’t help but feel like the only way he’ll get over his feelings is by not being around, positive he won’t ever tell you that he thinks he might be in love with you. He knows there’s no way you're in love with him too. He’s ended up at your apartment tonight, returning a book Five had borrowed. Why he couldn’t return it himself, he wasn’t sure but Five had told he owed him one after “saving his sorry ass through two apocalypses”. Now that he was here though, he thinks it was just a ploy to get him here. Even still, when you invite him in, he can’t bring himself to say no to you. The pair of you stand in the kitchen in total quiet, the distance between the too of you feeling much more like a gaping chasm than the four feet. “What did I do?” You ask, arms folded across your chest, almost like your protecting yourself from him. Luther looks up at you. “Did I do something wrong?” A pause. “Why do you hate me?” 

“I don’t hate you.” He says quickly, clearly too fast for your liking. You sigh and let your arms drop, turning away from him to put the hot water from the kettle into the two mugs in front of you. 

“You do Luther. I can see it. You don’t come over anymore, you hardly speak to me when I’m around, I did something and now you’re mad at me.” Luther remains silent, something that seems to be occurring more and more lately. “If you hate me, if you want to end our friendship, that’s fine. I’ll let you go, but at least have the decency to tell me why.” Your voice trembles on the last word and Luther is kicking himself as he struggled to find words to assure that it’s not you, it’s him. However, his tongue feels heavy and his mouth feels like it’s full of cotton and his mind is blank. He couldn’t very well tell you the truth, he’d lose you for sure, but it looks like he’s losing you anyway. You must take his silence as reason to keep pushing. “If this is about- your condition-” your voice drops on those two words and Luther stands up abruptly. 

“How do you know about that?!” He seethes. You glance up at him from where you’re staring intently at the tea steeping below you on the counter, but only briefly. 

“Allison told me. Months ago.” You responded, voice quiet. He’s in the process of figuring out all the different colorful things he’s going to say to Allison upon his return at the Academy, when you speak again. “Why didn’t you tell me Luther? I’m your best friend.” There’s that word again. Friend. The word has caused so much stress, frustration, and confusion in his life and now he’s going to lose you over it too. 

“You’d hate me.” You look up at him. 

“I could never ha-” He interrupts you, the panic and fear and anger sliding down his spine. 

“Or worse, you’d look at me like everybody else does, with pity in their eyes.” He spits the words out with so much venom, he surprises himself. It clearly surprises you as well. 

“Is that what you really think?” You finally dare to make eye contact with him for the first time the whole night and your voice is cold. He shrugs, not knowing what to say. “After all this time, after everything, that’s all you think of me?” Luther is, once again, at a loss of words and he feels the panic crawling up his throat that if he doesn’t say something soon, it’s not going to be pretty. You take his silence as apparent confirmation because the words you utter next is ones he never wanted to hear. 

“Get out.”

-

He throws the front door of the Academy open and spots Vanya coming down the stairs. They make eye contact and she shrinks back, feeling the anger radiating off of him. A pang goes through his chest, remembering the last time he felt this angry. “Where’s Allison?” He asks and Vanya nods her head towards the kitchen. He heads there and he can feel Vanya following behind him. His siblings are sitting around, clearly laughing at some sort joke Klaus has just finished telling. The room falls silent as they look over to a glowering Luther and Vanya who is shrinking behind him in the doorway. Luther’s eyes settle on Allison, who is conveniently, the furthest away from him. “What gives you the right to tell her about what Dad did?” His voice is low and and it’s Diego who understands first. 

“Oh, shit.” Diego mutters. He glances over at Ben, who looks at Klaus, who looks to Vanya. 

“Maybe we should...” Klaus says, as Diego and Ben move to stand up. 

“Sit down.” Luther says, and the three resume their position as Vanya moves behind them. Allison is looking at the table, avoiding looking at him. Five’s head swings between Luther and the rest of the siblings. 

“Did I miss something?” He asks, finally settling on Vanya and Diego. Diego shrugs. 

“Unless, you’ve been missing the heart eyes Luther makes every time (Y/N) comes around, you’re as up to speed as the rest of us.” Five snorts. Luther lets Diego’s comment slide because the only thing he can feel is the sheer betrayal he feels at Allison’s actions. Before Five can formulate a response, Luther finds himself talking. 

“What the hell, Allison!?” The girl finally makes eye contact with him. “After everything you and I have been through, what gives you the right to tell her that?! You knew, better than anyone, how I felt about that.” Allison sighs and looks away from him. 

“I’m sorry, okay? I thought she already knew, I promise. I wouldn’t intentionally tell her that if I hadn’t thought she already knew.” Luther softens, but only a little. 

“So I didn’t get a choice in the matter?! To tell the girl that I love-” His voice stops on the word, realizing what he’s just said out loud. Five’s eyes narrow and Klaus raises his eyebrows. No one else seems to be phased though, leading him to believe there’s been one too many conversations about him behind his back. Figures they’d leave Klaus and his big mouth and Five’s smart mouth out of it. 

“Like I said, I thought she knew. Why didn’t you tell her?”

“I didn’t get a chance! You got to her months before I could!” Luther exclaims, getting defensive once again. He’d rather not think about the consequences of his words just yet. 

“Wait, hold on. She’s known this for months?” Ben intervenes. Allison nods. 

“Four.” She confirmed. 

“Four months and she didn’t say anything?” Ben asks, chuckling to himself a little bit. 

“This isn’t funny.” Luther deadpans, now staring down Ben.

“It is, just a little.” Ben said, his laughter growing. It seems to click for Vanya, who joins in on Ben’s laughter. “Why’d you never tell her Luther?” He asks, still struggling to hold in his chuckles.

“I- I didn't want her to hate me, or- or think of me differently.” Luther said quietly. 

“Well that answers that then.” Vanya says. The siblings all look over to her and she shrinks back from the sudden attention. “Well, I’m just saying, if she’s known for four months, and she hasn’t said anything, and nothing’s changed, I’d say the answer’s pretty obvious.” It’s Klaus who understands next and his smirk grows. 

“In fact, one might say, to know for four months and to not say anything means there’s something more.” He says, using the voice he must’ve used when he was preaching or whatever the hell he did with his cult in the 60′s. 

“Where you going with this Klaus?” Diego asks. Its Allison who joins in next, a grin growing on her face.  

“Well aside from our brother’s new confession of undying love for the poor girl, she must feel the same to know for four months and never say anything.” 

“To let nothing change in hopes that one day you’d feel the same way for her.” Five finishes, realization dawning on his face.  

“Well, it doesn’t matter because she’s never gonna speak to me again.” Luther says, and turns from his siblings, heading back up to his room. So, he’s pretty sure he’s in love with you. So what, if it just means losing you? He’d go through a million apocalypses, swallow his feelings for you a hundred times, if it meant you’d still be in his life.  

v. the time you drop everything to be there for him

It’s been a week since you’ve spoken to Luther. Klaus and Ben keep telling him he should talk to you, to fix things, but if you can go this long without talking to him, he knows that you’re better off. You don’t need him in your life messing things up and making it harder for you. Unfortunately, late one night, fate makes the decision for him. It’s storming out and Luther hates the sounds of thunder. His heart is racing as he lays in his too small bed, arms clutching his comforter. He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to drown out the images in his brain as he searches for sleep again. His nightmare keeps replaying over in his mind, the image of you and his siblings lifeless on the ground. There was so much blood. He knows it’s just a nightmare, it has to be, but fear is crawling up his throat and he thinks he might be sick. What if that was real? What if it was some suppressed memory, and everyone he’s ever cared about is just- gone? His eyes fly open as he fumbles for his phone. He still isn't really sure how to use it but he knows well enough to call you. Pleasepickuppleasepickuppleasepicku-

“H-hello?” The voice on the other line sounds groggy and somehow through his sheer panic, he feels a pang of guilt for waking you up. His mind is racing and he still can't breathe but he can't deny the relief he feels hearing your sleepy voice. “Luther? You there?” 

“Y-yeah, I’m here.” He stutters. 

“Is everything okay? It’s 3 in the morning.” 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He can’t help the way his voice shakes, clearly giving away the reality. “I just... just needed to hear your voice, s’all.” His heart is slowing down the longer you’re on the phone with him. 

“Do you want me to come over?” As much as he wants to say yes, he shakes his head, forgetting you can’t see him. He clears his throat.

“No- no, I’ll be okay. Just a nightmare.” 

“I’m coming over. Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?” He can hear rustling in the background, visualizing you pulling your shoes on and grabbing your keys. 

“You- you don’t have to do that.” He says, even though he wants nothing more than to pull you close to him and maybe fall asleep with you in his arms. 

“Just stay on the phone with me okay Luther? I’ll be there in ten.” 

-

It’s actually 7 minutes before you’re opening the door to the Academy and rushing in. Luther’s sitting on the stairs waiting for you. He had to get out of his room but he didn’t want to go too far, not wanting to miss your arrival. The light in the foyer is on and you slowly walk towards where he’s seated. You crouch down, so that you can make eye contact with the man. He looks up at you and he realizes how much he misses you, how much he yearns to be around you. “You okay?” You ask softly. He shakes his head, finally allowing himself to be vulnerable with you. “What can I do for you?” He shrugs, still not wanting to voice how much he just wants to hold you in his arms. “C’mon, let’s go to the kitchen. I’ll make tea.” He follows you wordlessly. He sits in silence as he watches you fill the kettle and put it on the burner. You come around behind him and reach down, sliding your arms around his neck. It takes him a minute to realize you’re hugging him around his larger frame. He takes your hand and squeezes it. All too soon, the kettle starts whistling and he reluctantly lets you go. You put the hot water into two mugs and put the teabags in, letting it steep as you set the mugs down in front of the two of you. 

“Thank you.” He says, quietly. You nod.

“Of course.” You say as you take the seat next to him. “I’m always gonna be here for you, even when I’m mad at you.” He looks over at you, thoughts being brought back to your fight, if you could even call it that. “I’m not mad at you, by the way. I was upset that you felt like you couldn’t trust me, but I know that’s something that-” You draw in a breath. “Something that takes a while to build.” 

“I do. I do trust you.” He says firmly. “I trust you more than I trust anyone else.” He says honestly. “I was just- just scared.” You scoot your chair closer to his until your knees are touching and you can lean your head on his shoulder. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Luther. I promise.” He looks down at you as the truth finally settles comfortably in his heart for the first time. He’s in love with his best friend and he’s okay with it. He thinks that just maybe- you feel the same way. 

+ the one time he actually does something about it.

Luther wakes up alone the next morning. Disappointment settles in his chest, hoping you’d still be there. He gets up however, and goes about his day.  He starts to worry though, as the day goes by, and he still hasn’t heard a word from you. He thinks that maybe last night had been out of pity, or some sort of obligation to his siblings. After dinner though, he gets a text from you, asking if he wants to come over. It doesn’t say what or why, but he misses you and he thinks he’s finally ready to tell you the truth, no matter what you might say in return. In fact, for the first time in a while, he’s starting to let himself hope, a feeling that’s a bit too foreign to him. He hopes you feel the same way about him. That you’re in love with him too. He agrees, texting you that he’d be over soon. He clear his throat, standing up from the table, and put his plate in the sink, ignoring the questioning look Five shoots him. He walks to your apartment, a dopey smile on his face. He makes it to your building and he lets himself in, watching how you turn to face him from the hallway. You give him a soft smile.

“Sorry about leaving this morning without saying anything. My co-worker called out so I had to cover their opening shift and I didn’t want to wake you because you looked really peaceful so...” You trail off, a light blush forming on your cheeks. He shook his head. 

“It’s okay.” He says. The two of you stand there, just looking at each other. You startle finally. 

“OH! I was wondering if you wanted to make these cookies with me? My Dad was finally able to get his hands on some of my Grandma’s recipes and I wanted to try one out?” He nods, smiling at the excitement lighting up your face. Your grandma had passed when you were little and it had been a struggle to get the family recipes, your family getting left out of a lot of the division of property. You had once told him that you were really only connected with her through baking. He always told you she’d be proud of you and your baking. You’d always blush and look away. He nodded, remembering he was going to need to use his words if he was going to hope to have the nerves to tell you that he was in love with you. 

“Sure.” He says, moving to your kitchen. You follow him and pull the recipe up on your container as you both pull the ingredients out of their designated areas. The two of you spend so much time together that he knows his way around the kitchen like it’s the one at the Academy and the two of have baking together down to a science. You turn to music on, having made a playlist specifically for the dance parties that would happen while you’d wait for your pastry or dessert to cook. As the cookies bake in the oven, he watches with a smile as you dance around the kitchen, using the wooden spoon as a microphone. He isn’t planning it but- 

“I’m in love with you.” Your eyes widen as you slowly come to a stop. The music still playing in the background feels unnatural given what was just said and you must agree because you slowly reach over to the computer, pausing it. You reach back and look at him, eyes still wide in what he thinks is shock. He’s starting to panic now, as you just stand there, mouth open. “It- it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way.” God dammit, this is why he didn’t hope for things anymore. Damn his siblings for letting him think you might feel the same way. “It doesn’t have to change anything. I understand. I just wanted you to know.” He says, quietly. “I’m sorry, I’ll go.” He turns to leave, feeling defeated. Fate is a cruel temptress, he’s officially decided. 

“Luther- Luther wait.” You say, arm shooting out to grab his. You pull him back around to face you and he turns to see you unusually close to him. “Sorry, sorry, I panicked and froze.” You’re tumbling through your words, trying to spit them out, hardly breathing between them. He grows concerned at your state and he thinks you’re still worried about him feeling bad. 

“Seriously, (Y/N), it’s fine-” You cut him off.

“No, no it’s not.” His heart sinks, but only for a minute because suddenly you’re talking again. “I’m in love with you too Luther. I have been for a while. I just never thought you’d feel the same way and I-” Your words stop as you look up to see you two are quite close together and all he wants to do is lean down and- 

“Can I kiss you?” The words slip out before he can stop them but he’s not going to take them back. Not this time. You nod, and close the gap between the two of you. It’s short and sweet, just like you. The oven beeps, unfortunately, interrupting the moment. 

“Oh, shit.” You mumble. “I love you Luther, but if I burn these cookies, I’m gonna be pissed.” He chuckles, loving how casually that word slips out of your mouth. He lets go of your waist, where his hands had been resting. You pull the cookies out of the oven and standing back from them, looking down at them proudly. He walks over to you and pulls you close to his chest and you sigh contentedly. “I could hold you like this forever.” He says, fingers running through your hair. You hum, wrapping your arms around him under his coat. 

“I wouldn't mind it if you did.” You respond softly. Luther looks down at you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. He finally got the girl. 

[pocket-luv101]

First Impressions // Chapter 2

Fandom: Servamp Ship: LawLicht (main), KuroMahi (side), Tetsono (side), Jekuni (side) Characters: Hyde, Licht, Kuro, Mahiru

Summary: After Licht meets the wealthy bachelor, Hyde, she was certain that she could never be friends with him. Their paths continues to cross and she slowly comes to know him. Licht wonders if she judged him too quickly. (LawLicht, Pride and Prejudice AU, Fem Licht)

Ch.1 // (Ch.2) //

“Mother made it clear that she believes Sakura is the only one of us five who will catch the attention of a Servamp. Why must we waste time at this party as well? I would prefer to be home with my piano.” Licht lifted her champagne glass to sip her drink. She was stopped when Mahiru placed her hand over the glass and gently forced her to lower the cup to the table.

The town was holding a public ball to welcome the Servamp. The family was known for their wealth and generous donations so the mayor couldn’t be happier to hear that they rented the Hanafield manor. Licht thought the party was disingenuous at best. She didn’t enjoy crowds but their mother forced her to attend the ball. Their mother thought it was the perfect opportunity to meet the family. She sat at a table with her sisters and watched the others dance.

“This night will quickly turn to ruin if you drink wine, Licht. Not a single person in our family can hold their alcohol.” Mahiru warned her and swapped her drink for tea. “I understand that you find this party troublesome but it’s rude to refuse an invitation from the mayor. Furthermore, we should be here to protect our dear sister. Who knows what troubles mother will create to match Sakura with a Servamp? Mother considers her the most beautiful.”

Licht knew how modestly Mahiru spoke of herself and she didn’t know if it was for politeness or an insecurity she felt. She wanted to encourage her sister. “Sakura is beautiful but you’re more so. Your appearance can catch a man’s attention but it’s your bright mind that will capture their heart. Though, I would miss you if you decide to marry and leave.”

“Thinking simply, I cannot leave my sisters either. I would worry every minute I’m away from our home. You and Mikuni would set the house aflame the moment you two step foot into the kitchen.” Mahiru meant to joke with her sister but she couldn’t bring herself to laugh. She lifted her drink to her lips and sighed softly. The mention of their home reminded of their father’s will and how they could lose everything.

Licht could read Mahiru’s thoughts through her brown eyes. Even she knew that the ball was no place to discuss such a private matter. Her grip around the cup tightened until her knuckles became white under her gloves. She wished she could help Mikuni find a way to keep their home. She wasn't as knowledgeable about business or laws since her passion was music.

In the corner of her eyes, she noticed a group enter the ballroom. The entire room fell silent in awe of the family even before the footman introduced them. “Presenting the Servamps.”

The footman listed the siblings’ names but Licht barely heard his voice. She felt as if she was once again plunged into the creek and he was standing before her. The blond man who helped her the previous day was a Servamp and standing in the opened doorway. The cold shock she felt instantly became a burning rage when she recalled how he mocked her sister. She jumped to her feet to confront him once more.

“Do you intend to courtesy politely as they pass, Licht? If not, it’s best you sit back down. Let’s not cause a scandal.” Mikuni whispered the warning to her. They had told Mikuni and Misono about the encounter after they returned home soaking wet. She never expected the two men were a part of the Servamp family. “You may dislike him but open hostility is only excusable for men.”

Mikuni understood Licht’s anger but she also knew how the party would judge her sister if she attacked the blond Servamp. She leaned back in her chair and watched the Servamps cross the room towards them. She didn’t know why they would approach their table when they were a modest family with a more modest rank. Her voice lowered to a whisper as she addressed Licht. “It is unwise to confront him directly but I imagine you’re smart enough to think of other ways.”

Mikuni stood as the Servamps stopped before their family. She took the edge of her gown delicately into her hands and then made a shallow courtesy to greet them. She kept her thoughts hidden behind a wall of politeness and rehearsed greetings. “Welcome to the countryside, my lord. I hope you find our humble town to your liking. I am Mikuni Alicein Eve. May I introduce you to my sisters?”

“My brothers have already met two of your sisters. Though, they weren’t able to exchange a proper introduction. We wanted to come and apologize for the rudeness. I am the youngest, Snow Lily Olive Servamp.” He introduced himself and bowed. Then, Lily stood and light nudged his brother forward. “This is my eldest brother, Kuro Sleepy Ash Servamp.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you again, Lord Servamp.” Mahiru greeted him politely and went on to introduce the rest of her family. Kuro bowed in return and Licht noticed how he had specifically regarded Mahiru with the gesture. “Thank you for stopping me from falling into the creek. Your brother saved my sister as well.”

“You may call me Kuro. I have so many siblings and our conversation will easily become confusing if you use our surname. I was never one for titles anyways.” Kuro told her. He hoped that he wasn’t being too forward with the offer. Often, only people who were close would casually refer to each other by their first name.

Mahiru appeared surprised at first but then her eyes softened into a smile. She held out her hand to him and said, “Then I insist that you use my name as well.”

“Mahiru,” He repeated her name. Kuro gently took her hand into his and lifted her fingers to his lips. The polite gesture left a lingering warmth on her gloved hand even after he let her go.

“Hyde, you should introduce yourself to the family as well.” Lily spoke to a shorter blond man. Mikuni interrupted them before they could speak.

“You’re the youngest of your family but remarkably polite and honourable. I would say that those are traits your older brothers have taught you. But, if your brothers knew their manners, they would have introduced themselves and apologized rather than having the role fall onto their young brother. As the eldest of my sisters, I would never ask them to apologize on my behalf.” Mikuni’s compliment to Lily was lined with barbed words.

“Mikuni, I think their good character was shown when they saved us.” Mahiru didn’t think it was fair for her sisters to antagonize the family after only one meeting. She understood that they mainly wanted to defend her honour and she tried to show them that she wasn’t affected by Hyde’s comment. “Kuro, I heard that your family will be moving into the estate next to ours and we will be neighbours. I would like to extend an olive branch between our family with a dance. Will you take a turn around the room with me?”

“It would be a pleasure.” Kuro held out his arm to her. She placed her hand in the crook of his arm and he led her onto the ballroom. Mahiru looked over her shoulder to silently speak with them. She mouthed for them to be cordial with the Servamps. Licht rolled her eyes at her motherly warning but she nodded in understanding. As much as she disliked Hyde for his comment, she wouldn’t make her sister upset.

Licht sat at the table again and only partially listened to Mikuni converse with the Servamps. She wasn’t as sociable as Mikuni or Mahiru and she found it difficult to join a conversation with strangers. She leaned towards Misono who sat next to her. “Both Mikuni and Mahiru are distracted. Perhaps, we can sneak into the library. I heard the mayor has imported a collection of Shakespeare plays.”

“They’ll eventually discover that we left the party and, no doubt, lecture us.” She whispered back.

“But we would already have our prize.” Her laughter was surprisingly light for the mischief she intended.

“Then, we must ask the caterer if they have sweets so we can return home with many treasures from our adventures.”

“Pardon me, Eve.” Hyde’s voice interrupted their conversation as he sat in the seat across from her. Licht was slightly irritated that his presence brought Mikuni’s attention back to them and they could no longer sneak away. He said, “I didn’t intend to insult your sister with my comment. But offense has been made and I would like to apologize. The next song will be starting in a few minutes. Do you dance, Eve?”

“Not if I can help it. Regrettably, I am not very graceful on my feet. I dare say that my dancing is barely a step above the way you floundered in the water yesterday.” Despite her comment, Hyde only laughed. She had expected him to be offended yet he wore an amused grin. “You don’t need to sit with us because you feel it’s the polite thing to do.”

“I find your family much more fun than the other guests here. I like that you speak your mind. It must be because you’re from a large family. We have that in common.” Hyde nodded towards Kuro and Mahiru dancing together. “They’re getting along. Our cross will pass more often if they truly become friends. Will you forgive me for my comment about your sister and forgive me?”

Her sister had already forgiven him and Licht didn’t have a reason to be upset on her behalf. Licht thought Hyde was rude but his family appeared kind. “You have four siblings. Even a large manor like Hanafield must feel crowded with so many people. Are you planning to live in the countryside? Wealthy folks like you tend to vacation here and spend the rest of your time in London.”

“There are actually eight of us all together.” He told her and her eyes widened. Licht had thought her family of five was large. Her reaction made him chuckle since he thought it was endearing and he wanted to see her other expression. “Three of my siblings decided not to come to the party. My brother, Doubt, has been working in this town for a while now. He said this is a quiet town and we decided to move here too.”

“Your family is rather famous so I’m surprised that we haven’t heard about a Servamp working in our town.” Misono said.

“He wanted to have a normal life so he changed his name before he moved here. We still keep in contact.” Hyde explained and Licht became curious about who his brother could be. From the way he smiled as he spoke of his family, she knew that he cared about them. “Doubt never enjoyed parties like this. Kuro doesn’t either but Lily convinced him to come.”

“Do you like parties?” Licht asked.

“With the right company.” He shrugged. “Though, this is the first time I’ve met someone interesting like you at a party.”

“Do you see Tetsu? I would like to ask him for another crab cake.” Misono asked Licht as they walked through the ballroom. She scanned the crowd and searched for the tall man. Licht knew that Misono’s true wish was to speak with the man rather than order food. Her sister could be shy and stubborn so she wouldn’t admit her feelings to others easily.

“Tetsu has many jobs, doesn’t he? He works at his family business, helps care for our horses and now he’s a waiter. He has a shift tomorrow but he’ll likely be tired after working throughout the night. You should talk to Mikuni and ask her to give Tetsu a day off. You and him can go horseback riding for fun.” Licht suggested and Misono blushed as she imagined it. It was clear to see that she had a crush.

“Do you think we’ll be able to convince Mikuni to let us ride into town? You know how protective she can be.” Due to Misono’s weak body, she could easily become sick and her sisters would fret over her. “I would like to buy a present for Mikuni. She has been stressed ever since she found Father’s will. The cakes that Eva sells always bring a smile to her face.”

“I can act as your escort during your walk with Tetsu. Mikuni can trust me to kick anyone who harms our precious little sister. Not even a giant like Tetsu is safe from a sister’s wrath. He might be a giant but we’re a family of angels.” Licht joked and patted her sister’s back. “I heard angel wings flutter when you dance with a person you love. You should ask Tetsu to dance with you.”

“That’s far too forward, Licht. I could never do that.” Misono’s face became red and she looked towards the ground to hide it. She was disappointed that she couldn’t dance with Tetsu because he was serving food to the guests. She admired how confident her older sisters were and she wished she could be more like them. They had always been supportive to her.

They stopped when they heard their mother’s voice. “Licht! Misono! I must speak with you two at this moment. Come with me.”

Their mother forced her way between them and took Licht and Misono’s arm. She dragged them to the corner of the room where the party wouldn’t be able to overhear them easily. Licht didn’t know why their mother appeared so frantic since the party had been uneventful. “Did something happen, Mother? I can find Mahiru and Mikuni if you feel unwell.”

“How could you not introduce your little sister to the Servamps when they approached our table? I heard rumours that Mahiru danced with Sleepy Ash. Do you know how sad Sakura was after she heard that? He would’ve danced with her if he saw how beautiful she was.” Her voice was a harsh whisper but it caused Misono to flinch slightly.

Licht stepped in front of her little sister to protect her from their mother’s glare. “Sakura was dancing and we couldn’t tell her immediately without being rude. I told you about my meeting with the blond demon who spoke poorly of Mahiru. He is a part of the family and I don’t think someone so rude will be right for Sakura. I’m certain that she’ll catch the eye of someone better.”

“You’re right.” Their mother nodded. “But I would still prefer to match Sakura with a prestigious family like the Servamps. She’ll be the one to save our family from destitution. Mikuni is much too focused on the business to find a family and Mahiru is such a wallflower. I doubt anyone will ask Misono to dance either.”

“Mother!” Licht yelled over her and her shout drew the attention of the entire room. She didn’t recoil from the stares and she kept her back straight. Even if she was her mother, she wouldn’t allow a person to insult her sisters. “My sisters are all brilliant and it’s a shame their own mother can’t see that.”

She turned away from her and pulled Misono away. Mikuni and Mahiru quickly joined them. She placed a hand on Misono’s shoulder. “This ballroom is too crowded. We should go outside for some fresh air.”

Before she could escape with her sister, Licht crashed into a person standing behind her. She felt something cold spill onto her dress and she looked down to see red wine staining her bodice. She looked up into eyes that were the same colour as the wine. Hyde smiled sheepishly and set aside his wine glass. “I’m sorry, Lichtan, I’ll pay for a new dress. For now, please take my napkin.”

“You don’t need to give me your napkin. I can wash this off better by myself.” She didn’t put much importance in clothes. She hooked her arm around Misono and walked away. “At least the demon gives us an excuse to leave.”

Licht held a candle close to the bookcase so she could read the titles of the book. After the scene in the ballroom, Misono was likely upset. She thought a book would help her feel better so she visited the library. Her friend worked at the library and he allowed her to search for a book to borrow. She walked around the bookcase and she was surprised to see a person sitting against the wall.

The lantern next to the man illuminated his face and she was surprised to see that it was Hyde. The library was closed and others shouldn’t be able to enter. He noticed her approach and he glanced up from the book on his lap. The room was dark with only sparse candlelight around them but he could see her shock. She had expressive blue eyes.

“I didn’t break into the library. I promised the mayor that I would make a generous donation to the library if he allows me to visit whenever I want.” He told her and closed the book. Hyde held up the library’s key to show her he was being truthful. “After a party, I like to read alone and a library after dark is the best place. Are you here in search of a book as well, Angel Cakes? I can help you find it.”

“I’m not much of a reader but my sister likes them. The only writers I know are the popular ones like Shakespeare. I wanted to borrow one of his plays from the library for her.” Licht ran her fingers over the spines of the book and she searched for the section that held the plays. Hyde stood and then he took down a few books.

“Shakespeare is famous for his tragedies but he has written a few comedies as well. They might cheer up your sister. Here, this is Midsummer Night’s Dream. She might also like this one.” Licht took the books from him and read the summary on the back. He mentioned that the book would lift her sister’s spirits and she wondered if he was referring to the scene her mother caused. He didn’t push the subject though.

“Thank you. She’ll like this one.” Licht slipped the books into her bag. Hyde leaned against the bookcase and stopped her from leaving immediately.

“I overheard your mother’s words to your sister. They were unfair. I planned to ask her to dance to prove your mother wrong but I ruined your dress instead.” Hyde had seen Licht defend her sister and he was impressed by her passion. “My siblings thought you sisters were wonderful when they spoke with them. You already know how great they are, don’t you, Lichtan?”

“I am an angel and it’s my duty to protect me sisters.” Licht’s voice was firm with her conviction. Hyde smiled at her declaration and he pushed himself off the shelf. He returned to the candle where he was reading earlier. He was much kinder than she first thought he was but she didn’t know if she should change her first impression of him yet.

[fandom-necromancer]

Part 2 has been prompted by the wonderful DetReed900 on AO3! I hope you enjoy it!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 | AU: Cyberpunk AU

‘Quick, get in!‘ Gavin leaned on the passenger seat to hold the door open, as he watched Nines run towards him at full speed. The android jumped in, smashing the door close and Gavin drove off with screeching tires, while their pursuers desperately tried to get a good shot at them before they could disappear. But Gavin drifted around the next corner, accelerating again and taking several tight turns to lose anyone who might follow them. All the while Nines sat next to him laughing and cheering. Gavin looked into the rear-view mirror and relaxed a little as he couldn’t see anyone following them. He smirked, unable to be angry with the android although he likely should have been. As soon as they had made it on the highway, Gavin slowed down and weaved the car in between regular traffic.

‘How many times do I have to save you?’, he finally spoke a bit more serious. ‘Oh, come on’, Nines purred, leaning over. ‘You are just too good at that, it would be a shame letting that talent go to waste.’ Gavin turned his face towards Nines for a split second and smiled, pushing just a little on the gas. ‘You better start getting a talent for staying out of trouble, my friend.’ Nines laid his hand on his chest and looked accusingly at Gavin. ‘Do you see any bullet wound? I stayed out of trouble.’ ‘Yeah, and that gang will just forget about you doing… What even were you doing, Nines?’ ‘It’s a secret’, the android winked at him and leaned back in his seat. ‘Despite I really don’t think they would dare retaliate against us.’ ‘And why should that be?’ ‘Gavin, we could buy their whole organisation. I doubt they would dare attacking us openly.’ Gavin huffed. ‘Didn’t look that way when they were running after you.’

‘Hey, I’m fine, okay?’, Nines tried to change topics. ‘And I got what I needed from them.’ ‘Alright, Taxi Gavin reporting for duty, where can I bring you?’ ‘Stop with the sass, you get your fair share for this too. Just drive on, I have to hide it for the client in the city. I will give you directions.’ Gavin just sighed and turned up the radio.

‘What even is it with all that random side jobs you’re doing?’, Gavin asked standing next to the car while Nines hid a small package in the remains of some homeless person’s deserted shelter under a bridge. ‘If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you wanted to get rid of me.’ Nines stood up and stretched, smiling at the human. ‘Quite the opposite. I’m making sure we will do this together for a long time coming.’ ‘Alright’, Gavin chuckled, opening the door to the car. ‘And when will I be part of all the fun again?’ ‘Take a break’, Nines told him as he joined him inside. ‘For once in your life enjoy it. I will tell you soon enough.’ ‘It’s not because of Cyberlife, is it?’ ‘No. Elijah keeps his promise. For now, at least. And if he chooses to change that, I still have the backup of RA9 I can manipulate him with. We’re safe.’ ‘Good to hear. Can we go home then?’ ‘Yes. I’m done for today.’

They drove through the city, various neon signs glowing down on them and advertising the latest product you had to get immediately. Not too long ago, Gavin had lived in an old dilapidated house at the edge of the city. Once the dream of families with jobs in the city, the suburbs had now fallen into poverty and were taken over by criminal activity as the police didn’t care to patrol there anymore. Not when all the important people with money and influence were living in fancy apartments in the highest floors and everyone that still dreamed of getting there was packed like sardines in the mega-buildings. Now they were driving into their very own parking spot in a garage that had tighter CCTV as any street out there.  With only a short walk to the elevator, they were arriving at their flat in a matter of minutes.

Gavin exhaled with the satisfying clicking of the lock and the low hum of their security systems. The largest part of their Cyberlife money had been invested into this flat and the security measures and Gavin was thankful for it as it would at least get them more time should the corporation – or any other fraction for that part – decide to attack them. Nines walked up to the large glass front of their living room – reinforced to withhold everything up to a rocket launcher – and took off his white jacket he had exchanged his Cyberlife uniform with. Gavin watched how he pulled on the fabric of the tight turtleneck underneath and swallowed as he saw Nines’ smirk. Phcking all-seeing bastard…

He walked up to the kitchen and heated up the leftovers from yesterday’s meal, joining Nines on the sofa while eating. ‘Alright, I will go take a quick shower and go to bed. How about you?’ ‘I’ll skip straight to the bed part and warm it up for you’, the android muttered and took Gavin’s hand to pull him in for a kiss on his temple. ‘Don’t let me wait too long.’

As Gavin slid under the sheets, Nines had indeed warmed up the space comfortably. With his heated skin from the long shower, the softness was like heaven. The android’s hands in his hair gently massaging his scalp an added bonus. The man relaxed completely, closing his eyes as Nines dimmed the lights and switched them off completely. And with how tired he was and how good just lying there like that felt, he decided he would think about everything that happened tomorrow, if at all.

~

Gavin was woken up by the sun shining through the clouds directly into his face. Groaning, he slapped an arm over his face and turned, only to see that the other side of the bed was empty. He frowned. ‘Nines?’, he called into the flat, slowly sitting up and rubbing his eyes. As he didn’t get an answer, he shrugged and stood up piking up some lose-fit pants from the floor to wear. He yawned heartily as he walked up to the kitchen to make himself a coffee. His fingers hadn’t yet hit the button as his eyes finally noticed the post it note stuck to it.

Good morning, darling. I’m off for the day, but it shouldn’t take long. Don’t worry, I’ll stay out of trouble for today. -9

Gavin took the little piece of paper and leaned against the counter, reading it again. He sighed, flinging it behind his back and getting back to his coffee. It was okay, it could happen, he told himself. Nines could do whatever he wanted. That was fine. He let himself fall onto the couch, sipping his coffee and cursing at himself for being so impatient as it was still far too hot. Maybe he had gotten a call by Fowler or any other Fixer in the city. Maybe he was preparing for a job. Maybe he was just out to buy some more equipment, who knew?

He shouldn’t worry. But he did. He had been betrayed a fair share in his life already and he had always been prepared should his recent partner do the same. But Nines was different. He wouldn’t do that, right? He couldn’t imagine the android doing that. And there was no reason for him to do so. They were a good team, made for each other since their very first mission together. There was no reason for Nines to leave him behind, right? ‘Phck’, Gavin cursed. If Nines did do that, it would destroy him. He knew it.

He sat there almost the entire day, watching the news, reading up the truth behind the media’s lies and checking in with the gang territories and job offers. After that it was cooking for himself, going for a short drive and after that: waiting. Until the android came back home. Because he needed to know. He would confront him today.

He perked up when the door unlocked with a familiar click and the android entered the room. ‘Gavin, I’m-‘ He stopped as he saw the man sitting in front of him, eyes fixed sternly on himself. ‘I’m home’, he finished in a more appropriate volume and shut the door. ‘Welcome back’, Gavin said. ‘We need to talk.’ Nines grimaced at that but nodded. ‘Okay. Just a moment.’ He hung up his jacket on the next chair and joined Gavin on the couch. ‘What did you want to talk about?’

‘I need to know what is going on’, Gavin decided to get right to business. ‘I need to know what you are doing and why you keep disappearing like this without any information. Sorry.’ Nines let his head rest in his hands for a moment, then lifted it out with a sigh, looking over to Gavin. ‘I know how this might look like, Gavin, but I can only tell you it isn’t what you think’, he began. ‘Hell, that makes it sound even worse now. I can’t tell you what I’m doing.’ ‘Alright.’ Gavin was short of standing up and leaving, but Nines grabbed his arm and gently pleaded him to stay with him. ‘Listen, I can’t tell you yet. I’m asking for two more days of your patience. Friday evening I will show you what I’ve been working on the past weeks, okay? It will all make sense then, don’t worry. I’m not leaving you behind or plan on betraying you. But I can’t tell you what it is, yet.’ ‘So a surprise, huh?’, Gavin asked not at all satisfied with the answer. ‘Yes’, Nines grinned and his smile reassured Gavin a little. ‘Yes, you could call it that.’

~

Friday evening was coming faster than thought, even if Gavin spent most of the time alone in their flat or out drinking in a bar. But that evening, Nines had told him to wear something comfortable and snatched the keys to his car from him as they left the flat. Now, Gavin was sitting in the passenger seat of his own car feeling weirdly out of place. ‘So where are we driving?’, he asked finally. Nines smiled at him and just asked in return: ‘I thought you knew these streets?’ ‘Yeah, I know we’re driving out of the city. I don’t know where you plan on bringing me though.’ ‘You’ll see. You just have to wait a little longer.’

Gavin spat some expletives his way in his mind and sighed, obviously uncomfortable. They had long left the city behind them and it dawned on Gavin where they were going. As Nines turned on the dusty road that would lead them to a very familiar hill, Gavin frowned. ‘The shed? What are you planning?’ Nines just chuckled and parked the car behind the bushes like Gavin had done before. ‘Do you know it has been a year now?’, the android asked him and stepped out of the car.

‘Exactly a year?’ ‘Yes.’ Nines helped him out of the car and led him towards the shed. ‘Wait.’ The android stopped him and watched the shed that lit up on command. The roof had been fixed and a few lightbulbs dangled from cables fastened to it. A few insects buzzed around the light sources and Nines hurried inside, leaving Gavin standing there admiring the comfy yet out of place looking decoration. As the android came back, he held a box and walked towards the tree, beckoning Gavin to follow him. In one swift motion Nines placed a blanket on the dried grass and leaned a few pillows against the tree. Then he sat down and looked up at Gavin expectantly.

‘What is this all?’, Gavin asked sceptically. ‘Just sit down’, Nines laughed and patted the ground at his side. Slowly, Gavin approached and sat down. Even before he was fully seated, Nines had pulled a few bottles out of the box as well as plates with snacks. ‘Seriously, what is this all?’, Gavin asked, by now more perplexed than suspicious. ‘I believe you could call it a picknick, darling’, Nines explained. ‘Exactly one year ago, we were sitting here and didn’t know what to do next. You changed my life that day and I can’t say I regret it.’ ‘And…?’ ‘And I really like how that new life turned out in the end. Thought it was a reason to celebrate.’

Gavin just stared at the android. ‘Wait. Wait a moment. You disappearing all the time… How did this lead up to this?’ ‘Do you know how difficult it is to get real lightbulbs in a city that relies on neon lights? Everything calming and warm is ridiculously expensive, because some people intentionally push up the prize. I thought to change that by breaking in, getting what I need and sell the rest.’ ‘You… You didn’t really run face first in gang hideouts just to plan a picknick, did you?!’ Nines shrugged at Gavin’s incredulous eyes.

‘I wanted the best for today. The wine is made from real grapes, it’s not that synth-stuff you get at every bar. As is everything else. I could have either spent all our money on this or get them myself. It was easier.’ ‘Holy shit and I thought you were ratting me out for some kind of deal!’, Gavin called out in embarrassment. ‘I would never’, Nines grinned. ‘Although I do have some kind of deal for you, darling.’

Gavin looked up to the android and lifted a brow. ‘Really?’ ‘Yes. Gavin, we have lived together for a year now and I can’t imagine a life without you. And considering how high the chances of an untimely death are in our business, I think it’s long overdue that I asked you.’ ‘Asked me what?’, Gavin asked, not believing what was about to happen.

Nines simply turned around to him and pulled something out of his pocket. It was a tiny silver ring made from what looked like parts of machinery. ‘What is that?’, the human asked and couldn’t keep his eyes from it. ‘A ring, dumbass. Remember that Job from Fowler last month?’ ‘Yes. How could I forget that? You nearly died!’ Nines nodded and took Gavin’s hand in his. ‘That settled it for me. The ring is made from my damaged part and I want you to have it. If you want it.’ ‘What exactly are you asking, Nines?’ Nines looked up to him and he saw his LED turning at insane speed. ‘Gavin Reed. Do you want to marry me?’

Gavin stared at him, then at the ring and lastly at his surroundings. Who was he kidding here, he had hoped for his dream to come true, but he still couldn’t believe it as he saw it right before his very own eyes. Grinning like crazy, he dove in for a kiss instead and only afterwards panted: ‘Yes! Yes, I would love to.’ Nines couldn’t hide his own smile and pushed the ring onto Gavin’s finger where it lit up in the same colour and rhythm as the android’s LED. ‘I love you, Gavin’, he whispered, brushing his thumb over the ring before pulling the human in a tight hug, the man returned in equal strength. ‘I love you too, tin-can’, Gavin laughed and looked down on the ring over Nines’ shoulder.

He really was far too lucky for this world. But he wouldn’t ever think about complaining.

[fantastic-rambles]

Your Move [2]

Fandom: Yuukoku no Moriarty

Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Irene Adler, William James Moriarty (mentioned)

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 1.4k

[Part 1]

In the days since that spontaneous tea party, the two men had been exchanging moves by telegram since William had needed to return to Durham to continue teaching at the university. John had a strong suspicion that only the generous compensation from the King of Bohemia kept his flatmate from running off to the countryside to seek the mathematician out. It certainly couldn't be the presence of Mrs. Adler, who even John could tell was driving the detective mad despite their short acquaintance. Or at least, he wasn't staying around for her in the traditional sense: the sooner this case was resolved, the faster they could persuade her to leave so they could return to their normal way of life.

She was an exceedingly strange woman: certainly, it had been their fault that she'd been burned out of her home, but choosing to stay with two men in a small flat rather than a hotel while she was trying to conceal the picture from them was something that John simply couldn't understand. While John was enough of a gentleman that he wouldn't dig around in her personal belongings, Sherlock had no compunctions about doing so... which was possibly why she had been dragging her around with him all day, leaving John to clean out a room for the woman. He had only just finished when the two returned, with Sherlock clothed only in his undergarments and Mrs. Adler soaking wet.

It had taken some explaining while the woman was in the bathroom, but eventually, Sherlock had convinced him and Miss Hudson that nothing untoward had happened. Their landlady still seemed somewhat suspicious, but John believed his friend. After everything Mrs. Adler had put them through in less than a day, he couldn't imagine Sherlock having some sort of secret trysts with her. Even if it was to obtain the incriminating photograph, he didn't think that a woman who had the cunning and courage to blackmail an actual king could be so easily swayed by matters of the heart.

While Sherlock changed, John returned to the living room, sinking onto the couch with a sigh. With Sherlock's recollection of their previous moves, John had set up a board in the corner of the room so that he could follow the progress of their game. Although he clearly wasn't on the same intellectual level as the two men, he was curious about how their game would play out, and in particular, who would win this battle. It was still quite early on, but William was playing more aggressively than John had expected. After their conversation over tea, John had expected the young noble to play more conservatively in an attempt to preserve his pieces, with his whole war analogy and discussion of valuing soldiers.

His subsequent move of his knight to queen's knight 5 had pinned down Sherlock's bishop and essentially forced them into some sort of an exchange of pieces. Compared to the rapid-fire exchange of moves in the garden, Sherlock seemed to actually have to think over his decision before eventually taking the initiative to capture William's bishop with his own to make an early check. Even John could predict that William would more than likely complete the exchange with his queen so as to give the strongest piece on the board the ability to move about more freely, and indeed, the next message had done just that.

It felt like Sherlock was being pushed into a defensive position as he castled, and John wondered how the game might have played out differently if Sherlock had moved a piece other than his overextended bishop. As it was, though, William had continued to press his attack, advancing a pawn to queen's bishop 3, while Sherlock had also created a line of pawns with a move to queen's knight 2, both of them building up the queen's side of the board. And that was where it had been left off: another telegram had arrived this morning, but both of them had been too preoccupied with the issue of Mrs. Adler to deal with it.

Their conversation in the garden also remained on John's mind. When he seriously thought about his experiences in Afghanistan, he found himself questioning how much he had actually cared for his patients. At first, he had been entirely dedicated to his work, giving everything he had to chasing the escaping lives and doing all that he could to let men return home. But as the fighting dragged on and more and more men were dragged to the medical tent, screaming and crying while he fought to keep them alive with dwindling supplies as more and more of them died, could he truly claim that he hadn't changed?

Certainly, from a psychological standpoint, he was no longer the young man who had gone off to the war. Although he hadn't suffered any severe physical injuries and retained all of his limbs, the mental scars remained: his nightmares occasionally woke him in a cold sweat, and he still occasionally limped even though Sherlock had amply proved that it was all just in his head. Of course, the easy explanation would be that he had been--and still was--suffering from Soldier's Heart*, but he couldn't help wondering how much of it was due to the war and how much of it was himself, after the veneer of civility and naivety had been stripped away.

He dropped his head into his hands as he let out a large sigh. Well, at the very least, he was still better than Sherlock, not that that was saying very much.

"Did something happen, John?"

John started, surprised by the voice behind him, and turned his head around to look at Sherlock.

"No, just thinking," he replied automatically. When Sherlock took a seat across from him, though, he hesitated, wondering whether he should bring up his troubles. His friend was very much not the sympathetic sort, but his acute insights could be very beneficial, if he was inclined to provide them.

He'd just resolved to bite the bullet and try to ask Sherlock for his advice when Mrs. Adler breezed into the room, as confident and poised as ever in a new dress. Gracefully, she swept over to Sherlock, grasping his hand in her own while smiling at him beatifically.

"Thank you so much for accompanying me this afternoon. But I regret to inform you that I must deprive you of my company this evening, as I have a prior engagement. I hope that you can find some way to pass the time without me."

"Eh? Just do whatever you want. It has nothing to do with me," Sherlock grumbled, pulling his hand away. Mrs. Adler didn't seem put off at all as she turned to clasp John's hand as well, her palm soft and small against his own.

"And you as well, Mr. Watson. You have been so kind to me during my unfortunate circumstances," she gushed, acting for all the world as if she had forgotten that he and Sherlock were the reason for the aforementioned circumstances, which she herself had engineered. Even so, John could feel his face heating up just from her proximity to him. Her character aside, he couldn't deny that she was a very attractive woman, which was likely what had allowed her to obtain access to the King of Bohemia.

"Of... of course. It's no less than a gentleman should do," he stammered, his blush deepening as she smiled at him. And then, before he knew it, she had disappeared in a whirlwind of cloth, and he heard the front door close behind her.

Instantly, Sherlock was by the window, peering down into the street, and John quickly joined him. They watched as Mrs. Adler hailed a cab, and as soon as the horses were clopping down the street, Sherlock turned to John, his eyes gleaming with excitement.

"John. I've figured out how to get her to show us where she's hiding the photograph."

[datheetjoella]

Fantober 2020, Day 25: Enemy>Lover

Author: DatHeetJoella Fandom: Free! Pairing: MakoHaru Rating: T Part: 25/31 (read the full collection here) Word count: 3,006 Tags: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Developing Relationship, Strangers to Lovers, First Meeting, Prince!Haruka, Prince!Makoto, Prejudices Read at: AO3, FFn, or right here!

                                            --------------------------------------

If there was one thing Haruka had known since he was a child, it was that when he came of age, he would be married off to a member of royalty or nobility of some foreign realm. As the crown prince of Tobi, that was his destiny and he made peace with it years ago. But when the day for him to meet his spouse-to-be arrived, he was everything but okay.

“Come on, Haru,” Nagisa said as he poured more hot water into his bath. “Don’t get all sulky before you even meet him. Maybe he’s actually really nice!”

Haruka huffed and averted his head. Nagisa might’ve been bubbly and optimistic, but Haruka didn’t share his positivity. The biggest hurdle for him was not that he was being married off, but to whom and what this arrangement entailed.

The lucky bachelor was Prince Makoto Tachibana. He was the oldest child and heir of the Tachibana family and the crown prince of Iwa, a neighbouring kingdom that was relatively small but still twice as big as Tobi.

Although Haruka had never met the guy, his status and title were enough to determine what he’d be like. In years of mingling with those who shared his destiny, Haruka had learned that they were all the same: arrogant, snobby, disrespectful and insufferable. They’d snap their fingers and expect servants to kneel at their feet, holding up their shoes on a golden platter. Barked out orders like they were better than everyone else because of the simple fact they’d been born in a palace instead of a shack. That was exactly the kind of person Haruka couldn’t stand.

And to make matters worse, he was going to have to share his precious kingdom with him and rule over it by his side.

The main reason their engagement commenced was that Tobi was, to put it frankly, bankrupt. The sea levels were rising and a recent flood destroyed both houses and crops, leaving a large group of people homeless and starving and his parents were at their wits’ end, unable to solve the problems that had befallen their realm.

The kingdom of Iwa had offered their help in exchange for a formal alliance and a marriage. But there was one issue: Haruka was an only child and the daughter of the Tachibana family had not nearly reached a marital age yet. Instead, their eldest son had proposed an alternative. The marriage would take place between the two crown princes and the kingdoms of Iwa and Tobi would merge into Unified Iwatobi, which would be ruled over by both Haruka and himself. It was merely a political marriage, as the princes would be allowed to have their own families if they pleased, and in turn, their firstborns would rule over Iwatobi as a pair.

A kingdom with two kings, it was a revolutionary concept and an absolutely ridiculous one at that. The instant Haruka heard of it, he knew it was a scheme of this ‘Makoto’ to steal the land of Tobi to expand his own kingdom. He’d play the sympathetic prince for their subjects, but behind closed doors, he would enforce his dominance and undermine Haruka’s sovereignty, to eventually become the sole ruler of Iwatobi. While Haruka hadn’t cared about becoming king and leading the realm, he’d rather die than play in the hand of some power-hungry narcissist.

But his parents and their advisors hadn’t agreed with him. Out of desperation, they accepted Iwa’s proposition and no matter how much Haruka protested or how many counter-arguments he presented, they wouldn’t budge. His fate as Prince Makoto’s puppet was sealed and he was incredibly bitter about it.

Three overly polite knocks on the carved door pulled Haruka from his brooding thoughts. “Yes?”

The door was slowly pushed ajar and Rei poked his head around the corner. “Your Highness, I do not mean to disturb but,” he said, but when Haruka sent him a scowl, he sighed. “Prince Haruka, your parents are waiting for you in the throne room. Prince Makoto and his delegation arrived over half an hour ago and it would be… appreciated if you came down to greet them.”

“I will,” Haruka grumbled, “After I’m done with my bath.”

“Forgive me for intruding, but you’ve been in the bath for nearly three hours already. Your fingertips are pruned and the water must be freezing by now.”

“It’s not, come feel for yourself.” Haruka gestured toward the bath, trying his best to appear nonchalant.

Rei didn’t seem fazed. “How many times did you refill His Highness’ bath, Nagisa?”

“Hm.” Nagisa scratched at his chin in contemplation. “About seven times?”

“Nagisa! You need to be more responsible. You know this is a grand day for Prince Haruka.”

“I know. He’s just nervous and taking a bath relaxes him, so you shouldn’t be so hard on him.”

“I’m not nervous,” Haruka said defensively, facing away from his retainers with a pout. He knew that, in their own ways, they both had his best interest at heart. Rei wanted him to be punctual and presentable when meeting important people, while Nagisa enabled his evading behaviour because he knew Haruka struggled to come to terms with this ordeal and found solace in the water. This wasn’t worth the argument between them. In the end, Haruka was an adult and had to own up to his fate. “I’ll get out, so tell my parents I will be down shortly.”

“Thank you,” Rei said, adjusting the spectacles on his nose with a self-satisfied puff. “I shall tell them to look forward to your swift appearance.”

Nagisa rolled his eyes at his colleague’s formality; after years of friendship, Rei still felt conflicted calling Haruka by his preferred nickname, instead switching between his titles. That was very different from Nagisa, who'd been casual with him since they were kids. Although Haruka liked them both equally, he did prefer Nagisa's easy-going nature.

With the click of the door, Rei was gone and Nagisa and Haruka were alone again.

"I get that you're not happy about this situation, I wouldn't be either," Nagisa said as he held out Haruka's towel. "But you can't just make assumptions about Prince Makoto. Not every prince is stuck-up and spoiled, you're not like that either. So why don't you give him a fair chance? Who knows, maybe you'll end up liking him a lot."

Deep down, Haruka knew Nagisa was right. He highly doubted he would get chummy with Makoto, but perhaps he had to give him the benefit of the doubt. If he was every bit as awful as Haruka imagined, then he would find that out soon enough. No need to get ahead of business.

With a semi-renewed outlook on the predicament, Haruka got ready with Nagisa's help. He wasn't vain at all, but if he made a strong, confident impression, he might’ve been able to thwart Makoto's possible ploys before they could come to fruition.

Clad in his finest cobalt blue suit and with his crown on his neatly-combed hair, Haruka descended the stairs and walked towards the throne room. With his head held high, he swung open the doors and strolled in, graceful and in control.

And then, he laid eyes upon Prince Makoto and he had to pick his jawbone off the red carpet.

An elegant green jacket adorned his broad shoulders, white trousers hugged his legs and behind and tall boots supported his lean, muscular form. For a prince, he was dressed surprisingly modest, but if it weren't for the brilliant crown placed on his messy brown locks, then his aura would've been enough to betray his status. His back was straight, feet planted firmly on the ground like an unwavering oak tree, sturdy and assured. This was what a man who was prepared to lead a nation looked like.

But Haruka's heart didn't stop until Makoto peered back over his shoulder and revealed his face.

Ever since he was little, Haruka had been told by folks he encountered how beautiful he was and he hadn't found any reason to disagree with those comments. But Haruka's beauty paled in comparison to Prince Makoto. His jawline was sharp with a chiselled chin and rather round cheeks, but that added to his charm. His lips were full, his eyebrows slightly upturned and his nose complemented all his other features. But his eyes were the ones that took Haruka's breath away.

They were vibrant and green like he was wandering in a hedge maze with no exit. Mesmerising like he didn't even want to find a way out. But most of all, overwhelmingly kind.

When Haruka noticed he was staring at Prince Makoto while everyone else was staring at him, he quickly shut the doors behind him and stumbled over to his parents' side. If only he hadn't lost face yet; Prince Makoto might’ve been handsome, but that didn't mean he was trustworthy. Haruka shouldn't let his guard down.

"Haruka, I'm so happy you could finally join us," his mother said with a wide smile, but the daggers she shot at him through her gaze informed him he was in for an intense scolding later.

"Thank you for waiting for me," Haruka said with a feigned smile of his own. "I'm glad I got the opportunity to be here because it is an honour to meet you, Prince Makoto."

"I feel the same way, Your Highness," Prince Makoto said and damn, his voice sounded like violin music on a sunny afternoon. "The honour is entirely mine, as I feel grateful you were able to find the time in your undoubtedly busy schedule to come and greet me."

Prince Makoto ended his play with a deep bow and Haruka’s eyebrows furrowed. Was he mocking him? Usually, Haruka was pretty good at reading people and all the signs told him Makoto was being sincere, but he couldn't believe someone would seriously say that to him after the way he acted.

Perhaps Haruka was the obnoxious, entitled prince in the equation. "Of course, Prince Makoto, we are honoured to welcome you into our humble palace."

"Well then," his mother interrupted before this charade could drag on for hours. "Haruka, why don't you show His Highness around our… humble palace?"

"Certainly, Mother," Haruka said, "Prince Makoto, would you please follow after me?"

"It would be my pleasure," Makoto said and the smile on his face hadn't lessened; in fact, it was like it grew even softer, as though fondness twinkled in his eyes. Haruka must've been hallucinating. "Please lead the way, Prince Haruka."

With Makoto trailing behind him, Haruka took him via the sunroom straight outside to the gardens. There, he'd at least be able to catch some fresh air as he listened to the bragging and boasting that would probably stream out of Makoto's mouth like a polluted waterfall.

They walked down the steps onto the path between the tidy yet lively garden. Hydrangeas, begonias and geraniums were plentiful and not a single branch was out of line on the trimmed bushes. This was Haruka's favourite spot on the entire castle grounds for a reason.

"These gardens are beautiful," Makoto said, turning his head from left to right and back again as though his brain couldn't process what his eyes were registering. "Perhaps the most beautiful I've ever had the privilege to walk through. Your horticulturists must be very skilled."

"I guess so," Haruka shrugged, unsure of how to answer that. Of course their horticulturists were skilled, else they wouldn't employ them. But Haruka swallowed that comment because he felt himself becoming the villain he feared Makoto to be.

When he glanced to his side and didn't see Prince Makoto beside him, Haruka frowned. Had he scared him off already?

When he looked back, Makoto was standing several meters behind him, head downturned.

"Prince Makoto?"

"I… want to offer you my apologies."

Haruka's frown hardened. "Apologies? For what?"

"This arrangement, it was my idea," Makoto said, facing back up and for the first time since their meeting, his smile was gone. "I hope you understand that I only suggested it because I wanted to help. When I heard about the situation in Tobi, my heart broke and I wanted to do everything within my power to aid your people. I know it might not have been my place, but if something like that were to happen to my people, then I would appreciate all the help we could get. When human lives are at stake, I believe our pride as leaders should not stand in the way of doing what is right."

Those words surprised Haruka. Maybe he had judged Makoto too soon. In the very least, his morals seemed to be in check.

"I certainly don't want it to appear as though I find you and your family incapable of ruling over Tobi by yourselves, but this was the only possibility I saw to overcome this issue. After all, Iwa's resources are limited and I could not convince our advisors to come to Tobi's aid without expecting anything in return. They wanted concrete assurance that Tobi would have our backs if such a disaster were to occur within our borders and said I was naive if I trusted you without a formal arrangement. In that regard, I failed and I owe you an apology for that." Makoto bowed to him once more, even deeper than last time.

Haruka was at a loss for words. He kept staring at Makoto's folded back, mind blank and he didn’t know how to comfort him, if that was even the correct response.

When Makoto straightened his spine, he continued, "But I am not against this arrangement and the merging of our kingdoms. No matter how extreme the circumstances would get, I would never propose something so outlandish if I didn't believe it was beneficial to both of our kingdoms. Together, we'll be so much stronger in times of trouble, but I would be lying if I said part of the reason why I am in favour of this isn't selfish."

"Selfish?" Haruka asked. From what Makoto had told him, he acted out of pure selflessness.

"To be honest with you, the thought of becoming king and leading our realm has always been a bit frightening to me,” Makoto said, shuffling his feet as he averted his eyes. “Ever since it was decided I’d be crowned within a few months, I’ve had this tight knot in my stomach. Being the king is such a big responsibility, I’m afraid I won’t be able to fill my parents’ shoes, that I’ll make foolish decisions and that my people won’t like me. Of course, I know I’ll always have the support of my parents and my advisors but I just… I feel like I’m not ready at all.”

At that earnest confession, Haruka’s mouth fell open once again. Makoto appeared so reliable and certain, he never would’ve guessed he harboured such insecurities. Perhaps it was because he felt so lost that he hid it so well.

“I’ve never told anyone this before,” Makoto admitted as he scratched at his cheek, “But that’s why the thought of merging our kingdoms appealed to me; so I’d have you by my side. Carrying the weight of a whole kingdom seemed a bit lighter if I could share it with someone, that’s why I advocated for this particular arrangement. I realise now that’s very immature and egotistical of me, so I apologise again for wanting to push my burden onto you.”

If Makoto was being completely honest - which Haruka had no lingering doubts about at this point - then it wasn’t that he wanted to steal Haruka’s land and title, but wanted to push part of his own onto Haruka’s plate like they were vegetables he couldn’t stomach.

Haruka had never been extremely thrilled about his duties either, albeit for different reasons than Makoto, so it wasn’t like he didn’t understand him. While he hadn’t thought of this arrangement as being a shared burden, the idea didn’t sound all that unpleasant to him now he did ponder it over. Perhaps this wasn’t as ridiculous as it initially seemed. 

“It’s okay,” he said after a moment of silence, “I suppose I don’t mind shouldering half of your weight as long as you shoulder half of mine.”

“Certainly,” Makoto said, nodding vehemently. “I do want you to know that I don’t expect anything of you. I mean, we’ll be getting married through this arrangement, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be obligated to do anything. I want you to continue to live your life the way you please, the way you always have or the way you envisioned, without minding me. I do hope we can become friends, but if you prefer for our contact to be strictly political, then I understand, Prince Haruka.”

“You shouldn’t be so insecure about everything, because you have no reason to,” Haruka said, turning around so Makoto wouldn’t see the blush he could feel burning on his cheeks. “And just Haru is fine. We’re getting married, aren’t we? There’s no need for such formalities.”

An audible gasp left Makoto’s lips. “You’re right, Haru,” he said with a warm, melodious chuckle.

“Are you coming? I’ll show you the rest of the garden,” Haruka said as he resumed walking. Before Makoto could ask something that forced him to unlock his heart, he changed the subject. “What are your favourite flowers?”

“Camellias,” Makoto said as he matched Haruka’s pace, “Do you have any bushes?”

“We do, I’ll take you to them.”

Together, Haruka and Makoto wandered through the vast and lavish gardens. During the short time since they met, Haruka’s opinion of Makoto shifted completely and now, he was convinced they would become the friends Makoto hoped they’d be.

At that point, he had no idea yet that when they got married a few weeks later, he’d say his ‘I do’ with a wide smile and that the ceremony would be ended with a true, tender kiss.

[pauldron-pieces]

Rumon 'Crushjaw' Thaerskaine's Backstory: Rearmed

Fandom: Dungeons And Dragons (5E)

Pairing: N/A, Crushjaw-centric

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: This is a hypothetical scenario featuring original characters in a world created by my Dungeon Master. As usual, this is non-canon and I own nothing aside from intellectual properties specifically attached to Crushjaw. This installment is mechanically unsound in a multitude of ways and ignores certain important lore facets. Trigger warnings are listed inside. Enjoy!

Taglist: @sporadic-fics and @cookiethewriter!

Inspired By: Black Hill: Low Force

[Crushjaw is a level zero barbarian, and his appearance can be found here.]

[!TRIGGER WARNING!: This installment contains multiple triggering scenes including semi-graphic depictions of gore and mentions of bile/vomit. Reader discretion is advised. Stay safe!]

He would have loved to claim he had been goaded into it. Would have loved to say that it wasn't his fault or explain that it hadn't happened like he remembered. Except Rumon knew all too well that responsibility didn't work like that. His memory may be faulty, but the proof was in Krae's testimony.

Himself and his childhood friend Krae had both been interested in the same individual from a neighboring clan, the two of them butting heads over the object of their affections more than once. So of course when Krae came to him with news of an enormous ogre that had set up its stomping grounds near one of their trade routes, Rumon fairly leaped at the opportunity to fight the beast and claim victory over it. After all, what better way to prove his worth and earn a name from the clan leader than with an act of heroism?

Krae naturally came along, saying that he feared the ogre may be too tall an order for even Rumon to handle. This just made Rumon all the more determined to manage the creature single handedly.

They set up camp near where Krae claimed to have spotted the beast, the two goliaths joking and swapping drinks from a canteen of strong spirits. Truly, until both of them had set their sights on the same person, they had been brothers in all but blood. Rumon still regarded Krae as such, trusting to a fault, and thusly he missed the shifty glances the older goliath kept aiming at the treeline while the sun set.

"Come, Rumon! The moon is high. With its light, surely we shall find the ogre." Krae had cajoled after Rumon was fairly drunk, "unless, of course, you are afraid of a night hunt?"

"I fear nothing!" Rumon had boasted, "the gods are with me this night. You shall witness my triumph, Krae!"

Bold words. His grandmatron had always said that pride went before a fall.

Rumon recalled very little of the hunt after that, his memory muddied with drink. Despite Krae's insistence that the moonlight was sufficient, Rumon's recollections were oddly dim. He vaguely remembered stumbling around beneath the thick spruce canopy, his warhammer clumsy in his hands.

He remembered swinging with all his might and striking something that gave under the assault, the liquor Krae had plied him with steeling his ringing blows to something that rivaled even Varandur's mountain shapers.

He remembered when the weight of his weapon suddenly vanished, and there was a rancid gust of seethingly-hot air that blew his hair to the side. The roar was strange to his ear, far-off and faded. Emptiness rang too loud for him to hear as he wondered where his weapon had gone.

Rumon remembered realizing that he was flat on his stomach on the ground.

Where the memory became razor-sharp once more was when he tried to push himself up onto his elbows, and found his body woefully unbalanced. The goliath searched for the source of the problem and quickly located it, the sight of what was left of his mangled right arm more than enough to jerk him back to stark sobriety.

It had been severed at the elbow, though the term was a bit too kind for the injury. The appendage looked more as though it had been crushed with something that might have had an edge at one point.

Rumon had raised his eyes, mind grinding to a halt when he spotted his warhammer several yards away with his right hand still gripping the haft. Past that, along a trail marked by shattered tree trunks, slumped an enormous ogre clutching a slab of a sword. It seemed closer to a chunk of masonry than a true weapon, and Rumon's stomach had churned as he realized what had happened.

Mercifully, the agony had struck him and he promptly vomited before losing consciousness.

×+×

Gods only knew how long he had slept after that. It was a miracle he had even made it back to their healer; apparently Krae had all but carried him home. The embarrassment from that instance alone would have been enough to kill Rumon, never mind the fact that his dominant arm was now nothing but a bandaged stump.

The grandmatron would have none of it though, her craggy face somehow even more stern when Rumon managed to finally rouse himself.

"You have been named Crushjaw, little pebble. A worthy title." Her tone was icy. "I have gone through much trouble to save you. I am indebted to our chieftain."

Crushjaw. Rumon's face fairly burned with shame. "The ogre-?"

"Krae slew the beast. He brought one of its tusks back as proof. The chieftain was quite flattered by his offering, praising Krae for his accomplishment and naming him Tuskclaimer. As for his name for you..." The matron bowed her head, her expression one of grief.

"Grandma…"

"Don't you grandma me, little pebble!" The elderly goliath erupted, glaring fiercely at Rumon. Her eyes filled with tears as she went on, "you are anathema now, dear Rumon. Once you are able to walk, the clan leader has declared that you are to leave. I am no longer your grandmother. This place is no longer your home."

"'Leave'?" Rumon repeated stupidly. It felt as though everything was crashing down around him, his mind racing to comprehend. Their clan hadn't had an expulsion in his entire lifetime, wariness and confidence found too equally amongst their ranks. Compounding his confusion was the claim that Krae had killed the ogre. Rumon had been certain... "I understand." He said finally. "I am unworthy of your kindness. Thank you."

He couldn't comprehend why his grandmother wept harder at his acceptance. This was the way it had always been.

×+×

Crushjaw.

It certainly felt as though he was being crushed to death. Loneliness was a miserable traveling companion.

Rumon, very nearly unable to fend for himself, resorted to setting small game snares in the uncharted wilds. It was a child's way of hunting, but he was too hungry to be bothered by the prick to his already-bruised pride.

The few people he did encounter seemed overly wary of him. After all, a one-armed, exiled goliath would be the type to resort to petty theft.

But he wasn't a threat. He had never been a threat before, aside from just being large. Rumon couldn't understand the sudden shift in demeanor; he couldn't possibly fathom the air of desperation that his injury gave off.

It began to get easier when the weather cooled, the bulk of the thick cloak from his grandmother concealing his missing arm. The wound had not healed prettily, but Rumon knew better than to look a gift horse in the mouth. He hadn't died. That was all he could hope for.

He wandered alone for most of the cold times, his only companions the booming pines that fractured from the weight of the ice and snow. His thoughts had a habit of straying to Krae, and he wondered what had truly transpired that evening more than he would care to admit. Had he imagined killing the ogre? Was his mind that addled by the strength of the drink they had shared?

Surely Krae wouldn't have lied. Nothing good ever came of lying or taking the credit for someone else's accomplishments. Rumon eventually settled on the assumption that his memory must have been faulty.

After that, the whole world seemed a gray and unforgiving place, and the goliath could feel himself fading into something of the same type. Something ragged and harsh, no longer a proud warrior but a lamed animal with a crushed jaw.

That is, until the day he encountered an old elf hanging by the leg from his horse's saddle.

"You there!" The elven man shouted once he seemed to notice the large individual sauntering up through the trunks of barren maples. "Don't suppose you'd be able to lend me a hand?"

Rumon, for whatever reason, found himself throwing his mantle back over his shoulder to reveal the stump of his arm. "Good thing you only need one hand, sirrah. It's all I have to offer." He remarked.

The elf nearly died of laughter, already beet-red in the face from being stuck hanging upside down for so long. To Rumon's shock however, when he circled around the horse to help the elf dislodge himself, he realized that the leg that wasn't caught in the stirrups was severed at the knee. The fellow's pant leg was neatly pinned at the joint, padding sewn into the area as if to mimic a kneecap.

Before Rumon could say anything though, the wiry elf explained, "I lost my leg a few miles back, and this damned animal dragged me along until she got bored. Don't suppose you can accompany me a little ways until I relocate it? Thing is worth its weight in gold."

The goliath easily hefted the older fellow into the saddle before his words caught up with him. "You...lost your leg?" Rumon blinked, his brow furrowed in confusion. "I was unaware that elves could regrow limbs."

The elf looked at him a little sideways, muttering something about still waters running deep before he just shook his head and laughed, "no son, it's a genuine Chuck original. A fake leg."

A fake leg. Rumon seized the horse's bridle, desperation giving his voice a new level of gravel as he begged for more information. The elf shrewdly bargained with him: in exchange for help in reclaiming his prosthetic, he would gladly share what information he had.

"My name is Shawell." The elf introduced himself. "And you are…?"

Rumon hesitated for a moment. "Crushjaw." If people were to know his name, they would serve as a reminder of his foolhardy pride. A constant warning to heed in the future.

"Pleasure to meet you, Crush." Shawell tugged on the reins, turning his mare back in the direction he had come from. "We'd better hurry. We'll lose the daylight."

Crush. Rumon cracked his first smile in months, positioning himself on the elf's left side to steady him in the saddle.

[gunnerpalace]

🔺 Yoruichi

I don’t know that this is an unpopular opinion, per se, but Yoruichi was treated very poorly in the manga and deserved vastly more panel time and attention.

We never got to see most of her backstory. That includes most of her history with Kisuke, Kuukaku, and Tessai. That includes her abilities, whether it be her zanpakutou, shikai or bankai, ability to transform, or ability to do hybrid/fusion states. That includes her parentage or family, or the Shihouin clan in general, and especially their role in Soul Society as, apparently, armorers and soldiers.

Her role was also neglected. Kisuke was Ichigo’s first teacher, and Yoruichi was his second, and that was… pretty much it. Kisuke shunned teaching (e.g., with Chad), claiming he was unsuited for it, but why not Yoruichi? She’s great at at least half of zankensoki. She could’ve given Ichigo the bootleg version of an Academy education.

The fights she was given after fighting Soi Fon and the shunko reveal were all lame. The fight against Yammy was barely a fight as she was burdened by protecting Orihime (the hierro injury was also stupid, to be honest, as it almost never came up again other than with Nnoitra). The fight against Aizen was also barely a fight as he’d already become a bullshit hacker. And the fight against Askin was also bullshit because just like the rest of the four Waffen SS, he could just no-sell abilities for no reason (and she was reduced to fan service during it). She wasn’t allowed to shine.

And that was on top of her randomly being excluded from arcs (e.g., the entire Xcution arc) and being reduced to Kisuke’s gofer half the time that she did appear (going to get Orihime in Karakura so Kisuke could tell her off, gathering the vials in TYBW, etc.)

Even her transformation gimmick got stolen. Like, let’s be super real here: pretty much everything in the Hueco Mundo arc is a cheap copy of Soul Society. Grimmjow = Renji, Dordoni = Ikkaku, Ulquiorra = Byakuya, Nnoitra = Kenpachi, Szayelaporro = Mayuri, and so on. But you even had Nelliel = Yoruichi. “Surprise, the innocent-looking [pet/kid] is actually a really strong and hot woman!” The difference is Yoruichi did a whole lot of useful things in the Soul Society arc, and Nelliel did exactly nothing other than delay Ichigo dying long enough for the actual Kenpachi to show up and murder his cheap copy.

I wanna know what the deal is with her abilities and history. I wanna know about her adventures back in the day. I wanna know what she was up to in the century she spent in the Living World (during WW2 no less, among other things!). I wanna see her have cool fights. (Like, hey, imagine if she’d fought that other cheap Sternritter copy of her, Candice Catnipp.) But we didn’t get any of that. And it was a fucking terrible waste of an interesting and strong character.

And that’s another thing: she is interesting. Another maybe unpopular opinion on her that I have is that most of fandom and the extended universe (e.g., BBS) don’t understand her and kinda treat her like shit too. She’s often presented as very one note: she’s mischievous, or lascivious, and that’s pretty much it. And like, Yoruichi in canon is a pretty complex and nuanced character? She has a lot of emotional range and she pretty clearly has a lot of opinions on things, even if she mostly keeps them to herself. But you’d never know it from the majority of how other people write her, where she’s usually just a prankster with a generous helping of tits and ass. (On that note, I do prefer her later look, but she was originally much more lithe; Kubo’s insistence on focusing on busts didn’t solely happen to Orihime.) In short, she’s so much more than just a sexpot.

This is probably unpopular, but I often get tired of how she’s shipped too, whether in canon or in AUs. I go back and forth on liking putting her with Kisuke in large part precisely because I don’t like how in canon she comes across as so deferential to him. A lot of the time she just seems to take orders from him, and it’s like, if anything she outranks him; when we see them interact in TBTP, it’s exactly reversed, with her clearly in charge, so what the hell happened there? Likewise, sometimes Soi Fon’s constantly overwritten obsession with her comes off as kind of gross. I occasionally feel like she’s too good for either of them, to be quite honest. And I despise when people put her with someone like Grimmjow, especially on the basis of something weak like, “They’re both cat-like.” (I’m going off topic, but I’m almost 100% of the mindset Grimmjow shouldn’t be shipped with anyone, period. Except maybe death, like Deadpool is.)

I mentioned this already, but in addition to having seen her train Ichigo, I think she should’ve gotten time with Rukia. In canon I can see this taking a number of forms depending on how you want to run with it: best friend, big sister, or surrogate mom. They have some similar personality quirks and attributes (fixation on a particular kind of animal, a bit mischievous and playful, tomboyish attitudes but still clearly feminine, etc.), and they have similar social stations as members of great noble houses. Like, pretty much no one in Bleach is allowed to be friends and just hang out, but I don’t think Rukia and Yoruichi even exchanged words in the whole manga, and that’s a crying shame. (But also just another one on a very large list of them.)

[he-is-mine-i-am-his-blog]

Wild geese 6/18

Fandom: Painter of the Night

Pairing: Baek Nakyum/Yoon Seungho

Ratings: M

Word count: ~2100 words

Story summary: When Nakyum enters an arranged marriage with Lord Seungho, he does expect to find himself in a situation where he does, fighting for his life. ***An arranged marriage AU, set in the Joseon period like the canon.

Warnings: This story contains graphic depictions of violence. These scenes are not terribly gory, excessive, pointless, and violence is not glorified in anyway. I will not give warnings with specific chapters as not to spoil the plot.

Read below or on AO3.

***

The recent loss and the following revelations have left Nakyum feeling more unsettled, more alone than he did before. Sharing his suspicions with Seungho’s personal servant did little to diminish this sense of complete isolation. He is still alone, even if the older man did not dismiss his concerns.

Nakyum had implored Mr Kim to keep his silence on the matter, to share it with no other. He doesn’t know if the man truly believed him, but he didn’t want his suspicions to be known. Mr Kim had agreed, hesitantly, and it seems he has respected Nakyum’s wishes in the days passed.

He has not spoken of what was shared with others. He has not brought it up again to Nakyum either.

The older man’s eyes follow Nakyum though, with more care than they did before. Though, it is not only him who has taken a sudden interest in Nakyum.

Nakyum has caught Seungho looking towards him on many occasions. The man has been more present at meals, even joining him for breakfast and lunch. Although they do not talk much, too often Nakyum lifts his gaze to find his husband already staring.

Seungho’s eyes may be relentless on him but are unreadable as always.

This unforeseen attention from his husband is – confusing to Nakyum. He doesn’t know how to interpret it. He knows though that it doesn’t mean that they are any closer, that Seungho wants him to be married to him any more than he did before. Nakyum reminds himself of the very fact.

Nearly a week after the hunt, Nakyum arrives at the common room for dinner to find Seungho already there, alone. He lowers his eyes and quietly walks up to the table. He cannot meet his husband’s stare, although he must be watching.

“Father will not be joining us this evening as he has other engagements.”

Nakyum nods, as he does know how to respond otherwise.

They begin their meal.

Nakyum picks up his chopsticks with his uninjured hand, the other carefully laid on his lap. He adds food to his bowl from the bountiful table, but he doesn’t have much of an appetite. He hasn’t since the hunt. He eats slowly, picking at the small pieces, his eyes carefully cast down.

They eat in perfect silence. There are no sounds beyond the gentle clink of chopsticks against the ceramic bowls.

In this quietude, Nakyum’s mind drifts elsewhere.

He thinks of home, of the small house he grew up in under the tender care of Donghyun and Sungjung. He thinks of times when he would be with his father at his shop, when he would help his mother with the chores around the house. He thinks of them with so much longing that it constricts his throat, his entire chest.

He wishes to be back there with them, to hide from everything, to forget everything that has happened to him since he arrived at this residence.

His face must’ve betrayed his thoughts, as it becomes clear when Seungho speaks up.

“Why are you so upset, husband?”

The words are sharp, but his tone is – peculiar. It sounds like a mix of curiosity and frustration.

Nakyum is still stunned by the words, too much to respond. The look on his husband’s face darkens as his question goes unanswered.

“Do I not make you happy?” he asks, demanding, “Have we not provided sufficiently for you?”

And then, something lights up inside of Nakyum, burning hot and bright.

He narrows his eyes, staring at Seungho. He can’t hold himself back anymore.

“Upset?” Nakyum repeats his voice far too loud in the quiet room, “You think I’m not happy?”

Seungho’s face twists in discernible surprise, clearly not having expected this reaction from him. He rises to the challenge that Nakyum’s response proposed though.

“And what should I think when you make such faces and tell me nothing?”

“I’m lonely,” Nakyum responds without thinking, anguish evident in his voice.

He is not just lonely. He is afraid too, but at least he manages to keep that to himself. He is grieving.

“I left my home to come here,” he adds, “I don’t know anyone here, and I don’t have anyone at all here. I am so horribly completely alone, especially now after my-“

Nakyum stops abruptly. He bites his lip to silence himself. And yet, he sees in the eye of his mind what his words didn’t say. An image of his mare lying bloody on the muddy banks of the ditch.

When he looks to his husband again, he doesn’t flash of dawning in Seungho’s eyes, a realization of what Nakyum had left unsaid. It hurts him. It makes him angrier yet that he can’t be private with his feelings inside. It hurts him more than the words.

He thinks back to Seungho’s words then.

Have we not provided sufficiently for you?

Before he can stop himself, Nakyum slips his hand under the layers of his robe at his chest, blindly grasping at the necklace that he still wears, that he has worn every day since he received it. With a quick, sharp yank, the thin chain breaks off easily. He slams his hand against the table, the cups rattled against the hard surface with the force of the impact.

A sharp stab of pain lances through his wrist that steals the air from his lungs. Tears well into his eyes, unbidden.

The necklace lays on the table, trapped beneath his palm.

“I don’t care for anything you may give me. I want none of it!”

He looks at Seungho, as he says, “I will not break the promises I made you, but I will not beg of you either. So, hear me now when I ask: If you cannot hide your displeasure of me, please can’t we just avoid each other.”

Nakyum storms off before Seungho could even think to reply.

  ***

  Nakyum is nearly at the steps leading up to the house when he hears the steps running to catch up to him. He doesn’t stop until someone calls after him.

He doesn’t turn even then. He stands there in the quiet inner courtyard of the residence.

It’s dark and cold. His outer jacket is haphazardly put on, from when he had rushed out. He doesn’t feel the chill of the wintry evening though.

He simmers in anger, although it has largely lost its heat in the wake of him storming out. It is still there, in the quickened beat of his heart, in the jumbled thoughts of his mind, in the throbbing ache of his wrist.

“Nakyum,” Seungho says again, as he comes to a halt at a distance, “I’m –“

His voice is unusually quiet, soft now that he speaks his name. He seems – uncertain, and not only in the way that he left words unsaid. His voice wavered.

When Nakyum turns to him, Seungho is already staring at him. His face is shrouded, sheltered by the shadows, but not enough to fully hide him or the expression on his face.

There is intensity in the way that he looks at Nakyum, his eyes sharp and steady. They carry none of his previous anger, of frustration or displeasure either. His face betrays little else.

He still remains as indecipherable with his thoughts and feelings as ever.

“I didn’t –,“ Seungho stops, and he hesitates for a long moment, until he tries again, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Nakyum wants to argue, if only on instinct. He doesn’t though. He stops too.

He looks at Seungho then, really looks at him.

Perhaps the man is not as much of an enigma as Nakyum thought. Perhaps he never truly looked at his husband, long and hard enough.

Seungho is staring at Nakyum, but he doesn’t carry his usual look of cool hardness. His face is serious. There is sincerity there too. More than that, there is that vulnerability that Nakyum thought he only imagined hearing in his voice.

And then, perhaps because of the dim lighting of the courtyard, Nakyum’s eyes play tricks on him.

For a moment, he doesn’t see the brash, cruel man that he has only ever known Seungho to be, but instead, he sees a young boy who lashes out in anger for being betrayed, in fear of being hurt.

The vision disappears into nothingness as easy as it emerged.

He sees it more clearly now though. He sees how all this could've been difficult for Seungho too.

Nakyum only considered his own experience, of how he left all that is familiar behind and came to live here in a house filled with strangers. And yet, he did it with his free will, with his own choice, because his father asked him when the offer came.

He had not thought of Seungho who didn't have a choice – because his father didn't grant him one. Although Seungho had never expressed it in words, he is certain of it. He has heard whisperings of it.

When Seungho shifts on his feet, Nakyum lifts his gaze to meet Seungho's from where it had fallen. He nods quietly. He looks at his husband for a little longer, in this moment of silent understanding that they have found, before he turns and walks into the house.

In his room, Nakyum removes his outer clothes, although his jacket is already open and his boots unlaced from his hasty departure. After putting them away, he goes to light the rest of the candles on the dresser. He does not like the dark.

He thinks of the exchange with his husband. He thinks of Seungho – he truly thinks of him for the first time.

He tries to see him for who he is, not who he hoped him to be before they met or who he believed him to be after.

Nakyum tries to see him as the man that he is, not just as his words and actions, but as his intentions and meanings. In thinking of him in this manner, Nakyum is forced to admit he doesn't know him at all.

Would it make a difference if he did, he wonders.

He isn't left long with his thoughts until there is a knock on his door. He hesitates for a moment before answering. When he calls for the person to enter, he is relieved to find it is not Seungho but his servant instead. He isn’t sure he could continue the discussion with his husband when his mind is a mess as it is now.

"I came to see if you needed anything before going to sleep."

Nakyum lowers his eyes, as he declines the kind offer. It should not be Mr Kim serving him, even if, in his reluctance, Deokjae often fails to do so. Nakyum can manage on his own anyway.

The older man stands by the door for a moment, silently observing him, until he walks over to the cabinet in the corner of the room. He takes out clothing for Nakyum for the next day and moves to place them on the dresser. His back is still turned towards Nakyum, when he speaks.

“Younger Master Yoon is not as bad as you may think he is,” he says quietly.

Nakyum doesn’t respond, but he isn’t expected to do so, it seems. The servant smooths the fabric of his clothes, as he lays the folded bundle on the dresser. When he is done, he goes to the door. His hand rests on the handle for a moment. He looks over his shoulder at Nakyum.

“You should tell him your suspicions,” he says, “He would listen.”

The older man leaves, and Nakyum is alone with his thoughts again.

Nakyum is staring after him, at the closed door, and considering his words.

Even if Seungho is not as bad as he thinks, he wouldn’t need to be very good either, because what he thinks is that no one wants Nakyum gone as much as Seungho does.

It is then that the image comes to his mind, unbidden, the look on Seungho’s face, in his eyes from when they had stood face-to-face in the courtyard.

Nakyum isn’t sure if it is true anymore if Seungho really wants him gone as much as he assumed. He isn’t sure if he ever did.

It doesn’t matter much either way, as he can’t trust him.

He can’t trust anyone at all.

[puddygeeks]

Wᴇ Cᴏᴍᴇ Rᴜɴɴɪɴɢ - Tʜᴇ 100 Bᴇʟʟᴀᴍʏ x OC - Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 43: Vɪsɪᴏɴs Oғ Tʜᴇ Pᴀsᴛ

Masterlist

Rating: Mature

Summary: During her time in the Skybox, Indigo formed a precious friendship with fellow outcast Octavia Blake, the girl under the floor. At first they thought their departure from the oppression of the Ark was a blessing, but quickly came to rely on Indigo's keen survival instincts. The 100 struggle to meet the challenges of Earth whilst Bellamy strives to lead the wavering teenagers and his irresponsible attitude fuels constant conflict with Indigo. Their only shared interest is in protecting Octavia and Indigo beings to suspect that there is a deeper cause to Bellamy's seemingly irrational choices. As the consequences of his actions mount up around him, he finally begins to confide in her and she discovers more than she ever bargained for.

Fandom: CW’s The 100

Pairing: OC x Bellamy Blake

LONG TERM ONGOING PROJECT :)

My writing is entirely fuelled by coffee! If you enjoy my work, feel free to donate toward my caffeine dependency: will work for coffee

Warnings: Mature content. Non-consent, language, sex, self harm, suicide, anxiety, helplessness, torture, captivity/confinement, alcohol/drug use.

Chapter Forty-Three

Octavia and I rode in silence for several hours through the dense forest as I tried not to obsess over the new information. I had never considered an alliance with the grounders to be possible and I had to admit that I was impressed with Clarke for accomplishing such a feat. Octavia’s words turned over in my mind as I attempted to match her assertions that the grounders had a better way of living to the ruthless tactics that I had witnessed from them and had difficulty imagining how we could possibly live in any semblance of harmony. I was amazed by the difference in Octavia and from what I had seen so far, she had only improved but I was unsure if I could be as adaptable. As Bellamy had said, I wasn’t good at following rules and I leaned heavily toward following my heart over my head.

As we explored the wilderness, I lost track of time and eventually the sun started to lower in the sky. Octavia led us to an area that she had clearly frequented before and assisted me from the horse. I almost fell as my weak legs met the ground and she noticed that I strained to keep my knees from buckling beneath me. She fixed me with a concerned look but refrained from commenting on it as I shook the mistake off. I was shocked by the suffocating exhaustion that I felt and settled onto a nearby log as Octavia busied herself with building a fire. After a brief rest, I dragged myself up to assist in setting up sleeping arrangements and prepared the space for the night. We sat side by side at the fire as the last of the sunlight sunk below the horizon and ate our rations in a comfortable silence under the wonderful colours of the sunset.

“So, what’s your hurry to get away?” Octavia’s sudden voice cut through the relaxed atmosphere and I flinched at her continued prying. “You don’t look like you’re fully ready for this and I’d have expected you to be glued to my brothers side right now.” She spoke in the distant tone that had become normal for her and I continued to be surprised by the bluntness of her words. I sighed thoughtfully before I could form an explanation.

“I need to feel useful, I can’t just sit in camp whilst everyone treats me like an invalid.” I drawled and she shrugged in understanding. Although this was part of my reasoning, I knew that I hadn’t been entirely honest with her and forced myself to share the root of the problem. “Don’t get me wrong, I could easily have stayed with Bellamy. But it’s probably best for him to realise straight away that I’m not just going to hide out in camp after all of this. He needs to get used to me being out of his sight.” I divulged and Octavia chuckled under her breath.

“Good luck with that.” She scoffed and I raised a bow at her inquisitively. “I've been trying to do that for years. He’s overprotective, it’s just who he is. If my tracking skills weren’t sharp enough to know better, I’d expect to find him following us.” She commented and I snorted in laughter at this idea. “Get some rest, we’ve got a lot more riding tomorrow.” She advised with a gentle nudge.

I spent the night tossing and turning on the cold, hard ground. I’d already become used to the soft bed of Bellamy’s quarters and without the comfort of his arms around me I couldn’t settle. My mind was filled with terrible images of the numerous people that I’d killed in Mount Weather and I was haunted with the overwhelming feeling of helplessness. I kept recalling the times that I’d been drugged, or captured and how I’d barely managed to fight for my life. The fact that my survival has seemed to hang so close in the balance made me feel weak and I bolted upright with a gasp.

It was unexpected to find that daylight was already breaking and that our supplies were packed to leave. I scanned the area to notice Octavia crouched by the fire sharpening her knife and the moment that she met my eyes, she efficiently stowed the knife in her belt and stood to hold a hand out to me. I allowed her to assist me to my feet and she inspected me with a hint of concern.

“I was about to wake you anyway, you were yelling in your sleep.” She explained in a tone that was prying as she raised a brow at me. I shuffled awkwardly on the spot and when it was clear that I had no intention of discussing it, she sighed. “We should move.” She instructed in her usual removed attitude and I nodded obediently.

We spent another couple of hours on horseback and the sights of the forest became less impressive in my tired state. I felt my waist beginning to ache from the strain of holding myself in the correct posture and my body was clearly demonstrating that the decision to make this journey had been unwise. I couldn’t help wondering how much longer this would take and found myself praying for the strength to make it back home. We slowed to a casual trot and I was glad of the reprieve from the bouncing motions of galloping. 

Octavia scanned the treeline suspiciously and just as I opened my mouth to question her, an arrow tore past me, barely missing my chest. I gasped and jolted backwards, causing the horse to throw me off. My back slammed onto the ground and I wheezed in shock as the impact knocked the wind from me. Octavia leapt from her horse and gripped my arm to gracelessly drag me into the trees. She dropped me against a tree trunk and although I leaned forward in an attempt to get up, I winced at a jolt of pain from my wound. Octavia drew her swords with a menacing expression and strode out to meet the small group that surged towards us with confident smiles.

She fell smoothly into a skid on her knees as she swiped the first two before leaping up behind them to finish them off. My mouth dropped open in shock at her finesse as she flowed around the confused group and eliminated them without even seeming to break a sweat. I felt my stomach flip as I noticed another small posse of attackers creeping up behind her and as I lurched forward onto my hands and knees with a cry of pain, I caught the sound of heavy footsteps. Barely moments later the familiar large statue of Lincoln burst through the trees to bulldoze the men sneaking up on Octavia. She turned and rolled over his back in a swift manoeuvre that looked like it came straight from an action movie and I struggled to comprehend exactly what I was seeing as they obliterated what remained of the enemies. Whilst Lincoln stalked the area to check for any stragglers, Octavia rushed over to my side and helped me to lean back against the tree.

“I knew it was too soon for you to be out here.” She scolded as she sharply pulled up my tops to inspect my wound.

“I’m fine, I just didn’t plan to be fighting for my life this soon.” I breathed with a light smile and her face softened once she had satisfied that I hadn’t done any damage. “Let’s just not mention this to Bellamy, I’ll never see the outside of camp again.” I suggested and I noticed a sly smile on her face as she caught my eyes.

“Deal, I don’t need a lecture either.” She smirked and I was immediately relieved that she’d been understanding. “There shouldn’t have been any fighting, what was that Lincoln?” Octavia commented over her shoulder as Lincoln’s hulking form approached.

“Ice nation. The commander is having issues bringing them into line after she allied with your people.” Lincoln explained and I noticed that her expression turned cold at his statement.

“Why? I thought it would be clear that the alliance is over after she left my people to die.” She growled with a bitterness that surprised me and my confusion was evident in my expression as I awaited an explanation. From my somewhat limited memory, it seemed that the grounders had played some role in our rescue and I was unsure how much of what I remembered was correct. 

“That’s as much as I could find out from the outside.” Lincoln confirmed in the controlled tone that always left me slightly mystified as to his meaning. Octavia signed with frustration as she considered me and I could tell that she was struggling to decide how to explain herself.

“The reason it took so long to rescue you all from the mountain, and why they had to resort to the radiation, is that Lexa made a deal with Cage to release all of the grounder captives in exchange for allowing him to keep you. She stood down her army and left only our forces behind, and even most of those gave up.” She recounted with a frustration evident in her body and I shook my head with a sigh.

“It’s a shitty thing to do but...I can see why she did it. I don’t know if I could’ve turned that offer down for my people.” I admitted and Octavia’s eyes widened in shock. “It explains what Bellamy mentioned about the plan going wrong at every step too.” I added thoughtfully.

“I refused to leave with Indra when the grounders retreated, that’s why I’m not her second anymore. Lincoln refused too. He actually escaped the grounders to help you all and now there’s a kill order on him for abandoning his unit.” She spoke bitterly and I shuffled in regret as I viewed the hurt in her face that she tried to cover. “No matter where our hearts are, neither of us can go back to Trikru.” She muttered and I furrowed my brows at her as she avoided my gaze.

“I’m sorry that rescuing us had such a high cost for you.” I whispered as I fiddled with my hands anxiously. It was already obvious to me how important her place with the grounders had become for her and I hated the thought that we had destroyed the one place that she felt like she belonged. She reached out to grip one of my hands and my gaze shot back up to her as she leaned into my space.

“It was worth it. I’d have given up whatever it took to save you.” She admitted with a squeeze of my hand and I smiled gratefully at her. She assisted me back to my feet whilst Lincoln busied himself with calming the horses.

“What was all of that anyway?” I asked as we fell into step together and she peeked at me in confusion. “Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. That. The crazy ninja shit you just did.” I revealed with a limited impersonation and I noticed a hint of amusement cut through her controlled expression.

“I already told you. I spent time with the grounders and trained with Indra.” She excused as she glanced away awkwardly and I scoffed at her poor explanation.

“Right, okay. Sorry I missed the part where you told me you’d become fucking Xena the warrior princess.” I drawled, earning a snort of laughter from Octavia that warmed my heart with nostalgia.

“I don’t even know what that is, but coming from you I know it’s probably some nerd shit. Loser.” She teased with a jab to my upper arm and I smiled at her fondly.

I was relieved when we finally reached our destination and completed the collection of medicinal herbs and various other supplies that Octavia stressed were worth the journey. My exhausted body rejoiced when her and Lincoln announced that we could head home and my heart leapt in anticipation of seeing Bellamy again soon. Although it had only been a day that we'd been apart, since the trials of Mount Weather I found that even short periods of separation gave me anxiety and I struggled not to concede to my newly clingy desires. Whatever was between us was still new and from what I’d seen of Bellamy’s romantic life so far, he didn’t seem to like to be crowded. I’d always considered myself an independent person anyway and I refused to allow my trauma to change that.

Although I enjoyed witnessing the way that Octavia’s eyes sparkled with delight around Lincoln, it only worsened my desire to hurry home when we made camp for the night and they snuggled up together to sleep. Despite the exhaustion that had been constantly hanging over me since I left camp, I struggled to drift to sleep and mostly stared up at the stars as I reflected on all of the information that I’d received in the last 24 hours. I could hardly process all of the events that had occurred in camp and the difference in people was starting to make sense. 

I must have eventually fallen asleep as I recounted every time that I’d been helpless since my arrival on Earth. I relived every fight that I’d barely survived, all of the people I’d been unable to overpower and the countless beatings that I’d endured. my heart hammered as I jolted awake and I was relieved to find Octavia stirring from sleep too. I occupied myself with packing up the contents of camp as she had done yesterday and by the time that the lovebirds were prepared to leave, I was reaching a desperation that was difficult to conceal. Octavia wandered over to the horses with a yawn and scanned me with an analytical expression.

“We’d better get you back before Bel completely loses his mind.” She commented with a hint of amusement and I tried to force a laugh to avoid her scrutiny. She kissed Lincoln goodbye and we mounted the horses in a comfortable silence. I felt a wave of relief the moment that we set off towards camp and looked forward to not being on horseback for a while. “Lincoln is careful not to be seen near Arkadia.” Octavia divulged and I nodded at her sympathetically. “It’s much harder to spend time together now, but we’ll manage. I’ll figure out a way for us to return to the grounders. I got their approval once, I can do it again.” She added with determination and I hummed thoughtfully.

“Do you think…” I blurted before I had fully decided if I wanted to ask this question and cleared my throat awkwardly as she cocked a brow at me with interest. I reflected on the nightmares that I’d been having recently and could still sense the lingering helplessness at the back of my mind. “When you do join the grounders again, do you think Indra would teach me too?” I asked and Octavia’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Why would you want that?” She interrogated suspiciously and I instinctively knew that she thought I was trying to check on her, as Bellamy always did. I sighed as I considered how to explain my feelings without revealing more than I felt comfortable discussing. 

“I need to be able to fight better, like you. I’ve almost been killed way too many times now, I can’t keep waiting for rescue like a damsel in distress.” I detailed and she shrugged in agreement. She glanced out at the trees thoughtfully and I waited patiently for an answer.

“She won’t accept you as you are now. You’ll have to fight, show that you can endure and, no offense, you’re not exactly in the best shape for that right now.” She analysed as she returned her view to me and I shrugged in defeat. “Indra will not just teach you to fight though. If you want her to invest time into you, you need to be willing to adapt to her ways. She will expect you to become a grounder, in every sense. I had to learn at least some of the language, I knew how to show respect and I didn’t question my orders. Can you do that?” She interrogated with a stare that chilled me to my core. I knew that I couldn’t blame her for questioning me, she knew me better than I knew myself and it wasn’t in my nature to be obedient.

“I can promise to try.” I conceded and although she sighed in a disappointed manner, I spotted a fond smile as she shook her head at me. “It's something that I need, so I’ll put in the work. From what you’ve said of your experiences it sounds like there are parts of it that I’ll get along with anyway.” I pondered and she nodded in understanding.

“Fine, for now Lincoln and I will start to train you, but I need to see that you are working hard. I won’t present the idea to Indra until I’m convinced that you’re ready.” She detailed firmly and I smiled appreciatively at her.

“That’s completely fair, I don’t want to humiliate you.” I agreed in an even tone and I noticed that her shoulders relaxed slightly at my confirmation that I understood. I had no intention of tarnishing the reputation that she’d fought for and could honestly say that I was willing to commit to this idea.

“And I want this agreement to stay between us too. I don’t want Bellamy breathing down my neck about converting you.” She ordered in a firm voice that revealed more concern that she intended and I shifted awkwardly under her scrutiny.

“I don’t know if I can agree to that Tavi.” I muttered as her gaze shot at me in surprise. “I don’t feel right about lying to him. He’s more understanding than you give him credit for.” I presented my case as well as I could whilst feeling that I wanted to disappear into the ground under her disbelieving expression and she scoffed.

“You’ve got it so bad.” She crooned as her playful smirk returned and I felt my cheeks turning pink. I quickly scrambled to think of something I could say to draw the conversation away from my feelings and instead directed her to the difficult logistics of this plan.

“Where would I even say I was going?” I suggested and she shrugged as she conceded. “You said it yourself, he’s overprotective. If I keep creeping off somewhere, he’s going to figure it out in no time and then he’ll be pissed. It’s better to just be honest upfront.” I calculated and she chuckled lightly as she shook her head at me.

“Fine. But you can convince him, you’re good at that.” She commented with a smug expression.

The rest of the journey was quiet and slow. I didn’t initiate any conversation as I focused on conserving my energy so that I wouldn’t suddenly drop off the horse in exhaustion and Octavia seemed content to remain lost in thought. Every part of my body ached and I realised that the lack of care for myself in Mount Weather had taken a toll on me. If I was to be successful in training then I would need to build some muscle, which would require proper meals and ensuring that I slept enough to recover from the exertion. I had forgotten what it was like to have routines and to invest in myself, but now that life had returned to normal I acknowledged that I needed to treat myself with kindness. I knew that Bellamy would be furious with me if he realised how little I’d truly listened to the needs of my body since waking in the new camp. Mentally, I resolved that once this journey was over, I would be less self punishing and would be honest with others about my limits. 

I felt a wave of relief wash over me as I recognised the field outside of the gates of our new camp and knew that I would soon be gazing into the comfort of Bellamy’s warm, whisky eyes. Octavia glanced at me with a smug smile and I tried to conceal my joy.

“I know this has been tough on you, more than you want to tell me. You made it though, you can still survive out here. I’m glad that I got a chance to show you that.” She breathed with an encouraging tone before the twinkle of mischief returned to her eyes. “Nearly back to him, you did well to manage a whole two days apart.” She winked teasingly as I glared back.

We approached the gates slowly and I was glad to find that although there were people milling around, there wasn’t a crowd to witness our return. I felt myself becoming light headed from the energy that it took to keep myself on the horse as the gates opened to allow us inside. We trotted into the courtyard and I noticed the workers part to allow Bellamy to rush through to greet us. Octavia quickly hopped down as I slowed to a stop and considered whether I had the strength remaining to safely dismount.

“Thank god, you’re back.” Bellamy breathed in a heavy relief as he pulled Octavia into an embrace that she quickly shook off. I shuffled on the horse as I struggled to twist my legs to the same side ready to hop down and Bellamy jogged over to assist me. Before I could protest, he reached up to place his hands on my hips and supported me to the ground gently. I smiled thankfully at him as he obsessively checked me over and basked in the simple pleasure of the sight of him. “You look tired.” He commented as he met my eyes with concern and I forced a smile in response.

“I’m fine. Glad to be home.” I stated as I flashed him a meaningful look and he nodded in acknowledgement. I wanted to tell him how tough it had been, how I had realised that I wasn’t fully recovered yet but this wasn’t the place for that conversation. As my gaze roamed him, I realised that he also appeared to be tired and his hands shook lightly in place on my shoulders. I could tell that my absence had been challenging for him too and I was surprised by his nervous behaviour. “I’m okay Bel.” I emphasised, causing the knit in his brow to finally release. He removed his grip on my shoulders and cleared his throat as he stepped out of my space. I glanced around to notice several of the members of camp had stopped to observe our return, including Harper who smiled at us with amusement.

“I know.” He remarked as he fidgeted in an effort to seem relaxed. “You need to give your weapons back, they want to keep track of them here. I’ll catch up with you at my quarters later.” He informed, before he reluctantly strode away. Octavia chuckled at him under her breath and shrugged at me.

“Good luck selling him on you spending more time out of camp.” She laughed and took hold of the reins of the horses with a knowledgeable confidence. “I’ll take them back to the stable, you look like you could do with a nap.” She ordered as she wandered off and I remained rooted to the spot.

I glanced around at the people who busied themselves in the courtyard and found myself desperately searching for something that could distract me from my temptation to collapse into the safety of Bellamy’s bed. It was only mid afternoon and I felt that I still needed to make myself useful. I rubbed at my eyes as a yawn escaped my lips and my tired legs moved to lead me towards sleep without awaiting a conscious decision. The journey to his quarters was a blur as I shuffled along in a delirious state and practically fell through the door into the room. I knew that Bellamy was likely to be busy for at least the next few hours and although I’d prefer his soothing presence whilst I slept, I wasted no time in dropping into the bed. I wrapped myself in the covers that fortunately still carried his familiar scent and drifted straight to sleep.

My mind was still plagued with the same chilling nightmares of the past few nights and when I next woke, I didn’t feel at all rested. I could tell from the low light in the room that I’d been asleep at least a few hours and although I only felt a slight difference to earlier, I dragged myself back into camp. I followed Bellamy’s orders to return my weapons to our armoury, other than the shock baton which I ensured to keep hidden from sight. After a brief conversation with some campers, I discovered that Bellamy was currently instructing guard training and would be required to attend a debriefing afterwards. Instead of sulking over his absence, I busied myself with some simple tasks that would not contradict Abby’s orders for light labour only. 

It was a struggle to keep my attention on the job as my head grew heavy and it was a continued effort to stay standing. I knew that I needed sleep, a full proper night of sleep but I didn’t want to ask for help until there was no other choice. I mentally asserted that I just needed Bellamy to be able to sleep properly and that by tomorrow morning I would be fine. As the daylight faded from the sky I felt my eyes often drifting closed, despite my strain to keep working under the weak lanterns and eventually I had to concede that it was time to quit.

I was disappointed that I hadn’t seen Bellamy return yet as I wandered to his quarters and the feeling only intensified when I stepped inside to find him absent. A bitter sigh escaped my lips as I accepted that I couldn’t battle to remain awake any longer. It was a struggle to get undressed through the heaviness of my limbs and as I carefully placed my clothing on a chair, leaving me in only my vest and pants, Bellamy entered the room behind me. He broke into a relieved smile at the sight of me and I couldn’t deny how pleased I was to see him. He wandered into the space and started to remove the new guard jacket that he wore. 

“Hey, I didn’t expect to be back this late. Kane kept us hanging on in a briefing.” He commented idly as he kicked off his boots and generally made himself comfortable. I watched him through bleary eyes with a pang of desperation as I longed for his comfort and the moment that glanced up at me, his expression changed to concern. “What’s wrong?” He queried with a jagged voice and his worried eyes drew from me the emotion that I battled to conceal. I rushed forward to embrace him and threw my arms around his waist as I buried my face in his chest. He jolted in surprise but immediately pulled me into him and rested his cheek on my head. One of his arms wrapped around me whilst the other hand stroked my hair in a soothing manner and I felt a lump rising in my throat.

“I’m just...I’m glad to be back with you.” I breathed against him and felt him nod in agreement. I reflected on my promise to myself on the way back from my journey with Octavia to be more honest and involuntarily felt myself gulp as I considered the idea. “I’m so exhausted I can hardly stand.” I confessed in a quiet voice and I felt him tense at my words.

“Too spoiled with beds to sleep on the ground any more Love?” He teased, although his tone was too forced to properly cover his alarm. I couldn’t bring myself to lie to him and struggled to produce a way to explain my fears without descending into topics that I wasn’t ready to discuss yet. When I didn’t respond in time, Bellamy pushed me backwards to scrutinise my face but kept his hands protectively on my shoulders. I felt even more incapable of speaking with his gaze burning into me.

“Hard to drop off without you.” I whispered as I avoided meeting his eyes. I attempted to pass my reaction off as merely embarrassment but I knew that he sensed my vulnerability.

“Well, that’s an easy fix.” He stated as he released me from his gasp to quickly undress. He took my hand to lead me to the bed and we climbed in together. Without a moment of hesitation, he guided me into place so that my back was against his chest and wrapped me tightly in his arms. His hair tickled my cheek  as he leaned forward to place a lingering kiss there and I felt myself relaxing into him. “Now we can both get some sleep.” He muttered in a confession that I was unsure if he intended to make.

I didn’t enjoy the idea of Bellamy suffering in any way but it was a strange comfort to discover that he struggled without me. I was unsure why this was still a surprising revelation, and as the budding romance between us was only young, I could hardly believe I was lucky enough to have this time together. It had been a substantial time of convincing myself that he couldn’t want the same thing that I did and I wondered how long it would take to undo this belief. I felt myself easily drifting into sleep now that I was in the one place I felt most at home: his arms.

For a while my exhaustion provided a heavy, dreamless sleep as Bellamy’s protection warded off any fear, but the memories gradually returned. I found myself strolling through the eerily similar halls of Mount Weather alone. My footsteps echoed through the empty space hauntingly and I moved at an excruciatingly slow pace. There was a sound in the distance that I couldn’t quite register and I followed it with a sense of foreboding. The noise led me into a large room lined with the tiny cages that I had once been captive inside and I felt my heartbeat quicken.

As my gaze roamed over the space, the noise grew louder and bought my attention to the centre of the room. There was a single operating table under a blinding light that streamed from the ceiling and I suddenly recognised the horrifying whirr of a drill as it tore through bone. My breaths became shallow and rapid as Harper’s screaming filled my mind. I watched Dr Singh torment her with an overpowering feeling of helplessness and although I willed myself to do something, I couldn’t move or make a sound. I became aware of the piles of bodies that surrounded me, filling the space between where I stood and the operating table. The familiar faces were frozen in a state of agony and I could hardly catch my breath as I scanned them. Fox, Miller, the other girls who had kept me company, the groups of kids that I’d rescued from guards when looking for Bellamy; all of their lifeless faces stared back at me until my gaze fell on the bloody bodies of Jasper and Monty. The gut wrenching wail that escaped my lips caused a jolt of surprise even to me and I realised that my cheeks were wet from tears.

There was a heavy set of footsteps that caught my attention and I raised my eyes to witness Cage strolling over to the table from out of the darkness at the far end of the room. He lifted Harper’s limp body from the surface and threw it to the ground as if she were merely trash. Dr Singh turned to face me and I realised with horror that her white coat was soaked in blood. She held her red hands out to me and her determined eyes made a shiver run down my spine.

“She’s the last one.” Dr Singh informed with a delighted smile and Cage began to stride toward me with a menacing expression.

He reached me at an impossible speed and although every part of my body struck out at him in desperation, I was no match for his strength. I felt like a rag doll in his grip and was struck with the realisation of how immensely weak my body was. Despite my desperate struggles, he easily dragged me toward the table and I screeched out in despair. As he buckled me into the restraints, I heard my heartbeat hammering in my ears and felt as if I was having a heart attack. Cage unexpectedly wrapped his hands around my throat and my eyes widened in shock as he began to choke me.

“They’re all dead Indigo. You couldn’t save them.” Cage’s taunting voice filled my consciousness as I battled for air and could feel myself becoming light headed. “You failed. You’re too weak.” He growled as I wheezed and felt hot tears roll down my cheeks. The grip on my neck became so ferocious that it lifted me from the table and my shoulders thrashed against the hard surface as he shook me. The room swirled around me and it became impossible to focus as my head swayed. Without warning, my surroundings disappeared as my eyes snapped open and Bellamy’s anxious face filled my vision. The dark room around me slowly came into view and I realised that I was still in bed in Bellamy’s room.

“It’s just a dream Indie, you’re safe.” Bellamy soothed as his cool grip remained on my shoulders and I finally understood that he had been shaking me. My cheeks were soaked with real tears and I felt a cold sweat covering my entire body. I brought my eyes to him with a lingering feeling of terror and he pulled me into his embrace. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and placed a careful kiss on my forehead. “You were screaming. I couldn’t think of a kinder way to wake you, I’m sorry.” He mumbled as he wound his fingers through my hair and I felt my rapid heartbeat gradually calming against him. I could still sense the distress of the dream hanging over me and the memory of Harper’s screams were refreshed by it. I felt myself trembling in his hold as I recalled the sound and he sighed gently above me. “You...you can talk to me, you know that don’t you?” He whispered with a vulnerability in his tone that made my heart ache. I took a deep breath before leaning back so that I could look up into his sympathetic face.

“The things that happened in Mount Weather...I saw some dark shit and it’s not easy to just forget.” I explained and watched as his brows furrowed together. “Finding you and Octavia alive, it’s more than I could ever have asked for. I’m thankful for every second of the life that I have now and although it takes away most of the hurt that was eating away at me, it doesn’t remove the things that I saw, or worse, that I did.” My voice faded to a shameful whisper by the end and he tilted his head at me in confusion. “I did things to survive, things I never thought I would do. And the strangest part is that I don’t regret them, because they led me back to you both. If anything, I blame those sick assholes for forcing my hand.” I confessed as I avoided meeting his gaze. He gently lifted my chin to face him and his eyes were filled with emotion as he viewed me.

“Whatever you did, I know that you had to do. They wanted to kill every last one of you. You survived because of your actions, don't feel like you should regret that.” He asserted with an intense gaze and I felt a weight lift from my chest as I nodded back. “These nightmares, they’re of Mount Weather?” He investigated with reluctance and I hummed quietly in confirmation. “What can I do to help?” He breathed and the genuine tone in his voice made my eyes fill with tears. I considered my words carefully as I analysed the way that I’d felt each time I woke and tried to make sense of the jumbled images of the dreams.

“I need to stop being afraid.” I assessed and noticed a thinly veiled anger in his face at this statement. I knew that he was furious that anyone had affected me this much and it only further revealed how much effort he was investing into remaining calm for my comfort. “The only way I can think to do that is to prove to myself that I’m strong enough to protect myself now. I almost died more times than I can count in that Mountain, I barely scraped through those fights and honestly...I didn’t exactly take the best care of myself whilst there. I’ve gotten weak and complacent. I need to know that I can’t be captured like that again, I need to be strong.” I explained and I noticed a wry smile creep into the corners of his lips.

“I can make you a guard, I’ll train you personally.” He offered with the slightest hint of mischief which earned an involuntary chuckle under my breath.

“It’s a kind offer Bel, but I was thinking of something more extreme.” I divulged which caused him to view me with suspicion. “I’ve seen Tavi practising, I want to be able to fight like her. She’s offered to train me with Lincoln’s help, but I don’t want to go behind your back.” I detailed and flinched as he rolled his eyes at me in exasperation.

“Indie, come on.” He groaned. “You’ve said yourself that you feel weak. The grounder method of training is to beat the shit out of you until you learn, I’ve seen it happen in this camp! At least with me you know that I’ll be careful with you.” He justified and I could sense the same protective authority in him that I’d seen him address Octavia with countless times.

“I wont be stupid. I’ll start resting and I’ll take care of myself. I won’t take on any actual combat training until I’m well enough, purely theory until then, I promise.” I pleaded and although I could still sense the annoyance in his posture, his resolve was visibly crumbling. “This is important to me Bel, I need to be able to fight for myself. I can’t always leave it to you to save me. And maybe the distraction will help me to move on.” I appealed to him and he shrugged in defeat.

“Fine, if it’s that important to you. But if I see you covered in bruises, it’s done.” He conceded and I smiled as I agreed to his terms. Bellamy took my face in his hands and placed a gentle kiss on my lips with an affection that made my heart swell. “I won’t let anything happen to you again.” He whispered as he leaned his forehead against mine in a tender motion and I felt the last of my fear dissolve in his reassurance.

[pluviophile-bookworm]

Thoughts/ reaction to AWAE 3x5

The cold open featuring Beekeeper Gilbert is the golden content I never knew I needed.

Miss Stacy teaching in the midst of nature is gold, but what draws my attention in that scene is the casual mentioning of the birds and the bees that causes half of the girls to get agitated at the thought that they’re finally getting the talk. I see bees are a recurring image in this episode. I admit to not having seen much of this particular scene as I was looking away from the blood.

Gilbert combining his natural talent as a doctor and his new… I wanna say hobby, that is, beekeeping, to help poor baby Ruby is gold. Seriously, this episode has GOLD written all over it in large bold letters and we’re barely 4 minutes in.

“I thought someone died…” The natives calling out the Whites™ for being drama queens have me wondering whose side I am on, and whether there are any sides at all; the fact is, I tend to overreact a lot, but this was a bit too much even for me. But let’s not dwell on this, there are more important scenes coming up and I have already used way too many words.

Yeah… I skipped ahead a bit. The sight of that needle caused me as much horror as it did Moody.

Gilbert ranting about natural medicine not being taught is such a mood. I think taking up beekeeping will do (and is already doing) wonders for his career in medicine.

Rachel babysitting Delly is giving me such strong New Mum vibes… “Please go to sleep”. This is the Rachel Lynde content I never expected to see but I’m glad I did.

And then Delly falls asleep as soon as she hears Marilla’s voice… I’m crying.

“Bash needs a wife” – who are you to decide that for him, Rachel? I was already annoyed with her for trying to play matchmaker for Miss Stacy without being asked to, but this is even more. Marilla is such a mood in this scene.

Matthew being Soft™ to his plants… as if I needed any more proof that he’s a Hufflepuff!

I live and would die for Anne and Diana’s friendship.

I also live for Diana embracing her own feelings rather than her mother’s visions of what’s “proper” and “improper”. And for the hint of her doing it just partially to spite her mother…

Honestly, Gilbert staying inside and reading the paper with Miss Stacy while everyone else is fussing about the Take Notice board is so in character. It emphasizes the fact that he is actually the adult of the class. I wonder what would make him more interested in the board, though…

Anne the Feminist™ is fascinated about the female doctor

Ok, but… who gives Charlie, by “noticing” Anne, and Diana, by walking in on her and Gilbert almost having a moment, the right to interrupt said moment before it’s even fully developed?

Anne is totally me in her reaction to (1) being noticed and (2) the news about the dance.

 “Sebastian, take a seat.” If I were Bash in that scene, I would be thinking “How about you stop telling me what to do in my own home?”

Now she wants to take Delly away from him? And she thinks that’s good for anyone? Seriously, Rachel Lynde should mind her own business. But I bet she has no business of her own, otherwise she wouldn’t obsess so much over what everyone else is doing.

Anne’s reaction to Charlie posting about her gives off “Belle Reprise” from Beauty and the Beast vibes.

 “Anne Shirley-Cuthbert-Sloane!” Try Anne Shirley-Cuthbert-Blythe instead. And boy, does this girl have a lot of last names! She’s becoming a bit like Hispanic royalty.

Both Jerry and Diana telling white lies to their friends so they can meet up – classic forbidden romance. I love it!

Look at my boy Jerry quoting Frankenstein! I feel like a proud mother – except, of course, for the fact that I am not a mother and I have no trace of merit in this beautiful achievement. Also, the way she holds the book to her heart, like it’s him, or at least a tiny part of him; and the way he looks back at her… I know this is a whole other fandom, but Andi Mack has taught me that lookbacks are important. My fragile little heart is melting! I might be aromantic by orientation, but I’m still a sucker for beautiful, poetic romantic scenes like this one. This is my new favourite scene of the entire series. If I could bottle it up and save it for a rainy day, oh how I would!

The scene of Gilbert and Bash talking about Mary being followed immediately by Matthew talking to Belle about her becoming a mum… I feel that they are a heartbreaking yet heartwarming representation of the cycle of life and death. Moira has done it again.

Also, Anne’s dress in this scene reminds me of the first dress she was wearing when she arrived. It’s a nice callback, if anything.

That scene of Diana reading in bed reminded me so much of me. I know that feeling so well, feeling a special connection to a book, even for some reason outside the book itself. And, sure, Frankenstein is far from the most romantic of books, but now it will forever be a thing between her and Jerry. And that’s in my opinion, is that special external connection to the book.

Aaand… Rachel Lynde didn’t just try to make the practice dance another matchmaking session for her son and Miss Stacy, did she?

I know everybody talks about Anne and Gilbert in this scene, but my eyes were more focused on my spirit animal Ruby – she is so me, being uncomfortable with the whole thing and the touching and whatnot… except in her it is the result of boys and girls being discouraged from making any kind of contact to one another until they’re old enough for courtship according to their community’s standards. What did people at that time think when they did that? That giving young people virtually no sex ed and doing anything and everything they could to keep boys and girls away from each other – did they think this is the way to raise functional, well-informed people? Because seeing poor Ruby here sure makes me think that her society didn’t do a very good job at that. And the fact that all the girls, even the ones that should pass as intelligent and well-read like Anne and Diana, believe they can get pregnant by just the touch of a boy is just another proof that this is not the way to raise teenagers.

One thing that calms me at least a little is that now they have Miss Stacy and she can, albeit a bit awkwardly at first, educate them on the matter. And I love the fact that she mentions consent because that is really important.

And there’s the sugar – the heart eyes, the longing looks, the held gaze… every single trope about looking at someone special is there in that one scene. I love the way they act so expressively with just their eyes. Seriously, kudos to Amybeth and especially Lucas.

Oh my, there it is! That scene from the preview that everybody has been speculating and freaking out about for weeks. I got literal chills, goosebumps and everything. This scene generated a lot of discourse and it was definitely not for nothing.

Oh my, oh my! The dance is done but they just won’t stop staring right into each other’s souls through those fantastically expressive eyes… I might just die right now, but at least I’ll die happy.

Aaand… the moment is gone and now there’s just tension and awkwardness so thick in the air that you could cut them with a knife – and a knife might not even do the job, if you get what I mean.

Ok, I didn’t think things could get any more awkward, but then we have the exchange with Charlie and it’s even more awkward than Moody telling Diana “[her] dress is very… blue” back in the season premiere. But this awkwardness is different. There’s no tension, no real chemistry. At least that’s how I see it.

The parallel between Anne and Gilbert cooking and ranting about the dance and its consequences for them counts as a Shirbert scene, right?

I love Anne with all my heart but right now I wish she could just go away for a second. She’s third-wheeling and making Diana act cold towards Jerry, which might give him the wrong impression and ruin everything…

Also, I wish Diana would confide in Anne about the thing she has going on with Jerry. It couldn’t possibly make matters worse, now could it?

If Jerry was so confused, and then so happy about the handkerchief, it probably wasn’t really his. It must have been left by Diana. The initials, though… the only J.B. in Diana’s family I can think of is Josephine. If it was hers and Diana left it for Jerry, it would be so nice… Ok, why am I being so stupid? She MADE it for him. Especially. J.B. is him and only him right now. Apparently certain other scenes have temporarily deprived me of the ability to think.

The “Is that how reproduction works” scene is awkward, of course, and it is a different, third kind of awkward: not like Shirbert after the dance or like Anne and Charlie after that. It’s that kind of awkward moments that people with anxiety like me think of when they can’t sleep at night. I mean, just imagine asking your big love to give you the talk. Or having to give the talk to them.

Ruby, Ruby, my sweet summer child Ruby… “what has he seen”? He’s literally delivered a child, for one. Unprepared, at that. But seriously, Gilbert being all like “in my medical experience” – okay, we get it, Mr. Mature Adult Doctor. No offense, though, I love him.

That obituary was just about the best homage they could have paid to Mary, and Bash reading the whole thing to Delphine was both heartbreaking and heartwarming. Now that I use those two words for the second time in relation to Mary’s passing, I feel like these are the emotions I feel about it every time. Every single time.

Baby Delly is the most precious little thing I’ve ever seen.

The Barrys are finally doing something really good (I’m not saying they’re bad people or bad parents, just that they can be a little… stuck in their ways) by deciding to help Bash’s family now and realizing they have missed their chance of getting to know Mary while she was there and giving it to them. I sure hope they allow their daughters, both of them, to have the life they chose, not the one that was predetermined for them by parents and tradition and some twisted idea of class distinction and propriety. They deserve to be given that freedom.

The girls’ ritual was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen in my life. How empowering, how beautifully sacred, how emotionally pure and true. And Ruby finally accepted herself as a woman… I relate to that on a deep level because it was hard for me to accept the change from girl to woman when I was that age, too – not so long ago, really. The thing is, there is no real difference between a girl and a woman. I think each one should decide for herself which one she is, and we shouldn’t forget that we have both inside us at all times.

Oh my, oh my! This was honestly one of the most beautiful episode endings I’ve seen on this series and there have been a lot. This baby foal is one of the cutest things ever, a true embodiment of the miracle of life. How fascinating!

So, let’s sum up. In this episode, we saw: the importance of honey; lots of awkward teenage courting; Gilbert going back to medicine; Rachel Lynde sticking her nose into other people’s business even more than usual; Jerry and Diana’s beautiful forbidden romance and character growth; misconceptions about… conception; Shirbert – the whole spectrum of it: awkwardness, tension, angst, heart eyes, lost of eye acting in general; different kinds of awkwardness involving different people, but mostly Shirbert; girl empowerment; and last but not least, the circle of life. I was going to say I want more episodes like this one, but, frankly, I don’t think that’s possible. This was BEAUTIFUL!

[doggernaut]

For the fanfic end of year asks: 3, 22, 25 :)

These are awesome questions! Thank you!

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

There are a few I really like.

An early scene from And you may say to yourself, my god, what have I done?, is one of my favorites because it's always fun to get in Year 1 Jack’s head. Year 1 Jack is an anxious mess who is solely focused on his future and overcoming his past. So when he wakes up 20 years in the future, as he does in this fic, to realize he’s happily married to the frog who gave him so many headaches and that they have two kids ... Well, it was fun to imagine how that Jack would react in this scenario and how his reaction would differ from Bitty’s reaction in the companion fic I wrote at the end of last year.

This is just an excerpt, but I really like the way the whole scene turned out:

Jack sits up, heart racing, and realizes he not in his room. He’s not in any room he recognizes as being part of the Haus. This room, with its matching furniture, large windows, and soft gray walls, may be larger than the entire second floor.

“Honey?” The man next to Jack shifts and lifts his head. Slowly, a face comes into focus; Jack recognizes the eyes first. Bittle. His teammate Bittle, who is probably gay, but he’s never said anything and Jack has never asked. Even if he had, there’s no way Bittle would know that Jack —

Jack swallows down the bile rising in his throat and it’s all he can do to avoid a full-on panic attack. He can’t let Bittle see him like this. Whatever happened last night seems to have been okay for Bittle, but shame and humiliation eat away at Jack. How could he have let this happen again?

“No!” Jack yelps, breathing heavily. He can’t take his eyes off of Bittle’s. A voice in his head is telling him Bittle has really nice eyes even as a louder voice is telling him that everything about this is wrong.

Bittle places a gentle hand on Jack’s arm and smiles tenderly. “I know we had a late night, but I just put Daniel Tiger on. We still have a little while before —”

Whatever nonsense Bittle is spouting is cut off by a crash and a cry from somewhere down the hall. He frowns a little. “Or not,” he says wryly. “You stay put, I’ll deal with it. We can pick up where we left off after your parents leave tonight.” Bittle gives him a positively dirty smirk and it’s all Jack can do not to scream as Bittle rolls out of bed and pulls a pair of gray joggers over his boxer briefs (Jack is not looking at Bittle’s ass, he is not) before exiting the room.

Jack’s heart is still racing. What the hell did he do last night? He remembers returning to the house, refusing the beer Shitty offered, going straight to bed. Did he go back downstairs for a drink? Did he have more than one? Is that why he can't remember?

He scrambles for the phone on his nightstand. It feels too large in his hand and he fumbles with it for a moment, nearly dropping it, but it unlocks easily enough and he quickly finds his father in his contacts.

“Jack?” Papa’s voice is gravelly, like he’s just woken up. “It’s early, what’s going on?”

22. Events you participated in this year

I participated in a few fandom events. I wrote a fic for the Bitty’s Valentine’s exchange in February, which I’m looking forward to participating in again next year. And then there was my OMGCP Big Bang fic, What I want to feel, I want to feel it now, which consumed most of my summer/fall. 

I also participated in Fandom Trumps Hate, as both a bidder and an artist. I was the lucky bidder on a fic from @thewesternredcedar , and Every Rule I Had was the beautiful result. I also got to beta read Back To You for @porcupine-girl, who won my beta services in that auction. Consider this a rec for both of those lovely fics.

I still owe my fic winner from that auction a fic, and I hope to work something out for them soon!

25. A fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read

Do I have to limit myself to just one? I’m going to rec three, and these are only a few of the fics I absolutely loved this year. (Eventually I will have to make a full rec list because I hate that I’ve left so many off.)

one day (we'll get this right) by @whoacanada is an achingly romantic AU in which Jack and Bitty never quite made it work and get a second chance years later. Jack and Bitty are written so well in this, both tentative and anxious, yet so ready to jump into this new old thing headfirst. I always love older!zimbits, but one thing I especially love about this one is that it’s set in the city I moved to earlier this year.

And the Day Winding Like Dreams by @hugealienpie is an AU that takes inspiration from Inception, a movie I’ve never seen. That doesn’t matter because the world building is so well done. It was a joy to read the developing romance between Jack and Bitty, and the roles all of the familiar SMH characters were given were perfect. Please read this fic because it should have way more comments and kudos than it does.

Finally, every year I seem to discover a fic about a rare pair I never knew I wanted and then I end up craving more fic about that couple. Seven steps to heaven (but that stairway's just too steep) by @dexondefense  is a fic about Lardo and Jack’s Falcs teammate Snowy and it was an immediate bookmark.