#but im trying to get real with it
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god-of-this-new-blog · 2 years ago
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“For a master of deception and subterfuge, You’ve made yourself quite the bed to lie in”
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inkskinned · 2 years ago
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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dudedidujust · 10 months ago
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Au where Damian comes to Gotham with the goal of infiltrating and eventually overthrowing Batman instead of inheriting the mantle. Not much changes from canon except for the fact that he views everything that batman owns as his. That's his future cave and his future batmobile. This also includes his robins. After all everyone knows Batman wouldn't really be Batman without them.
Cue a very bewildered Tim being lectured on his eating habits by a righteous Damian who won't let one of his people take shortcuts with their health.
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hinamie · 5 months ago
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shows up a day early with a nobara birthday tribute
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ofswordsandpens · 4 months ago
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adding to the "there should have been more genuine tension within the seven" train of thought, it would have been funny if the Argo II, technically being a ship, meant it fell under Percy's power domain and he could control it all at whim, rendering all the carefully crafted controls Leo built useless if Percy felt like being an asshole
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dandeleon · 12 days ago
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it mcgucket monday (da WHOLE family here‼️)
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lilybug-02 · 8 months ago
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Eimmet High...temmiE high. OMG!
Part 28 || First || Previous || Next
--Full Series--
Next update may take...much longer! I have finals and an internship and not to mention I have to draw- A LOT :')
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muzsmocsing · 4 months ago
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I think we can all agree hualian invented love but I feel like bingqiu will also invent something at some point. Like hooking up in the backseat of a 2009 Honda Accord in the middle of a car crash. Something romantic like that.
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d4ydream-girl · 9 months ago
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comments from smosh cast + crew on shourtney's wedding post!!
ft. mythical, thomas sanders, macdoesit, and www.chess.com?? lol
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cozylittleartblog · 1 year ago
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worst way to start my new year, thanks. i have a lot of things to say about these companies but i'm tired and just keeping it focused to the pin side of things for this one. do not ever buy pins from these companies, literally ALL of them are stolen from small artists like me. if you want to buy enamel pins, check out etsy, and artist's personal websites and shops! (though even Etsy has some bootleg pins that ship straight from china, so tread carefully…)
Every pin I've designed is, thus far, EXCLUSIVE to my etsy. if you find it anywhere else, it's been ripped off! and once these stupid bootlegs pop up, it's basically a never ending game of whack-a-mole trying to get them all taken down...
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laddercat · 10 months ago
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*panting, limping, pale, eye bags, huge armpit sweat stains, missing a limb*
so side order is great right
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soyunmago · 6 months ago
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sooo... i like to doodle things from time to time.
this time it was just azula in a dragon onesie, and i gonna post it like a real man would.
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with and without the rest of the doodles. I don't know if tmblr will mess up the quality, sorry if it happen tho ( ╯︿╰).
To be fair is done on paint so there's no much quality to beging with.
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touchlikethesun · 8 months ago
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if you told kageyama and hinata that they could improve their timing and strengthen their hitter/setter bond by kissing they would immediately start making out. even if they weren’t interested in the other like that at all before, those boys would do anything for volleyball
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scamperin-shroom · 3 months ago
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Classic Zelda games: "So Link doesn't talk because he's meant to resemble you the player 🥰"
Echoes of Wisdom: "Link doesn't talk because his ability to speak was physically taken from him by a dark force"
(edit: since I need people to understand Link can't talk at all. It was forced out of him. It's not a choice. That part of him was consumed)
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ophii · 5 months ago
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"i dont love anybody, thats my power" yeah right
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hoboyherewego · 4 months ago
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“STOOOOOOP FIGHTIIIIIIIING” :(
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*the three of them get zapped anyways*
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