#but im not hungry at all and i feel like if i ate anything I'd kms so i think I'll skip breakfast too

[piplupod]

pretty sure i just got a spider bite while trying to fall asleep 🧍

[hyperfixat]

hey!! I really love ur blog so so much rn! If you can, I'd like to request a neurodivergent MC? One that has certain foods they hate and have never told anyone since their family had forced them to try them since they were little? (Ex. Cauliflower, brussel sprouts, blueberries, bananas, carrots) and so, one day, when theyre all eating (at the HoL or just out) and they notice MC eating all but those foods on their plate? Sorry if this is a bit too specific, I just really can't write it properly for myself and i would like to have some form of comfort-

Anyway, have an amazing day!!

anon i am holding you so close rignt now this cured my writers block this is the first ask i’ve got in like two months TT 

i am incapable of writing anything not hurt comfort so there is some ‘oh man im so sad :(‘ at the beginning but yk if u said u like my writing i imagine u kinda expected this

warning for mentions of throw up and actually eating the bad foods :(

and yes yes yes i love writing explicitly nd mcs!! i added in another obstacle to the req; freaky demon food bcs thats always fun to consider. That way u can kinda make the demon food similar to whatever food u want in ur mind, anyhow, the words u wanted;

/

You push the pile of purple (purple!?) mashed… something from one corner of your plate to the center.  First you had to go to a strange demon school where all of your peers are so much scarier and larger than you and now you’ve been presented with whatever the hell this is for dinner.

You think Leviathan (Levi — it feels so odd referring to him so casually having just met him) was the one that made it.  There was a protein on the plate, you ate that with no issues, but. 

Urgh. This?

It’s your second night sleeping in the House of Lamentation and you don’t feel nearly comfortable or safe enough to get a snack on your own, especially at night. You’ve had such a long day at RAD and your body is dying for some food.

Disguising your disgusted reluctance with a carefully blank face, your grab some of the.  The stuff. 

Ah, nope.  You set your fork down quietly after taking a slow bite / swallow and grab your cup to drown the leftover flavors and textures.  

Luckily all the demon brothers seem pretty into their dinnertime banter and didn’t notice your… less than satisfactory reaction to the food.

Gosh, you don’t want to offend any of them, especially not so early on in the year you’ll have to room with them.  

It’s a good thing that Beelzebub is practically a food vacuum and doesn’t question the nearly untouched pile of. Well you know. Left over on your plate.

/

…It’s official. You hate Devildom cuisine.  

Is the universe playing one big, cruel joke on you?  What the hell is wrong with demons?  Why must the eat the worst things in the world?  Why… why… why?

Lucifer wouldn’t let you starve under his roof, and provides you with full meals and makes it clear what parts of the kitchen are free to raid (as not to take anything designated to anyone else).  You feel like the most ungrateful human in the whole wide world right now.

It’s been quite a few months since the start of the exchange program and you’ve been… getting by.  Okay, that’s not exactly true, you’ve been having a blast in most aspects of your stay in the Devildom.  Most.

There’s still the teeny tiny issue of the cuisine not quite fitting your tastes.  You’ve tried talking to Solomon about the Devildom cuisine and he tried to cheer you up with some authentic human world cuisine, but as it turns out his cooking is far worse than Devildom-style food.

Not to be dramatic, but you’re suffering in silence.  You get by, as in you’re not hungry – the demons you’ve grown oh so fond of wouldn’t let that happen.  They always seem willing to fetch you anything.  

You’re trying so hard not to hurt any feelings, because you love them and want to support them.  It’s just.  You want to throw up almost every meal.  (Barbatos’ little treats have been your saving grace – he always seems to have some yummy little snack on him.  One that you like and doesn’t make you feel like your throat is crawling out of your mouth.)

Most of the time the brothers don’t pay much thought to what you leave on your plate – as long as you eat some of what was served they seem content.  Even on nights where the meal is more nasty than good, it’s easy to just say you’re not that hungry.

This night was bound to happen at some point.  Your plate is uneatable.  It’s edible, just uneatable.  It’d be more humiliating to choke down a few bites than it is to go to bed hungry.  You wrinkle your nose when you think no one is looking and stab at the meat chunk.

Your eyes are downcast and you drag your knife lazily through the food.  It’s mesmerizing in a way, so much so that you don’t notice at first when Asmo calls your name.

“MC, is something wrong? Are you feeling alright?”  At this point he’s drawn the attention of his brothers as well.

“Yeah, you’re barely eating,” Mammon supplies.

Ah, the moment you’ve been dreading and hoped you would never have to face.

“Oh, I don’t have much of an appetite right now.”  Which certainly isn’t a lie.  

“You didn’t eat much at lunch, hon.” Asmo reaches across the table to put the back of his manicured hand on your forehead to feel for a fever.

You cringe, “uhm, well.  I’m.”  You fail to think of a decent lie quick enough – nothing you say will be believable as you mentally blue screen.

“Honest answer?”  Satan prods.

“I’m not the biggest fan of some Devildom foods.” “Not the biggest fan?”  Beel questions, “you dislike them enough to forgo eating entirely.”  

“I’m trying not to sound like an ungrateful jerk right now.  Give me a moment to word this properly.”

Satan scoffs. “Just say it.  Whatever you have to say can’t be worse than what we’ve put you through.”

“Damn, okay.  The food makes me wanna throw up when I eat it.”

Levi, the chef of the night, folds in on himself, face darkening with shame or embarrassment.

“It’s not a personal gripe, most meals have something that makes me feel that way, hon.” It seems your attempt to comfort him isn’t appreciated though, as Levi shoves his face in his hands.

Lucifer sets his fork down. “And why haven’t you said anything to any of us about this?  We want you to feel at home here.”

“You can’t expect me to be comfortable barging into what was at the time a strangers house and demand they make special accommodations for me, then once I was comfortable enough to say something I felt I put up with it long enough that it’d be odd to bring it up out of nowhere.”

“Fair enough,” Satan nods along.

“No? Not ‘fair enough’!” Mammon scolds.  “You shoulda said something to me!  Do you even like half the snacks I give you?  I spent good Grimm on those!”

Memories of bribing Beelzebub to do certain errands in the earlier days of your Devildom stay flicker through your mind.  “They got eaten.”

“MC,” Lucifer brings the conversation back on track.  “Let us know foods you don’t want to eat, we may be demons, but we’re here to provide you with a comfortable stay.”  You nod under his sincere gaze.  “Now, give your plate to Beel and order some delivery.  I’ll cover the costs, as long as you eat.”  

As you shove your plate across the table you see Lucifer pulling a shiny black card from his coat pocket.  He gestures for you to come and take it.  You walk to the head of the table and he presses the card into your hand. 

“Order whatever you’d like.  My treat.”  There’s a glint of humor in his eyes and you look down to see Goldie in your palm.

[tounderstandthesoul]

Chapter 3: The Feeling to Starve

Anything to Survive Nothing More

---

Feelings come... Heavy emotions (depressions) are coming for Angel... Well i don't know if this chapter needs a viewer discretion but it will be a little 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐲. ---

Angel Pov:

It's dark... far too dark... to think that children used to play here...cruel.Children... right here in these colourful halls and rooms, in some of them a lamp is still lit.

I have to be quiet, after all I'm in a smaller form than usual, a toddler. If I made my legs bigger it would be better because of the bigger steps...but they would also be louder. Louder footsteps here in the neighbourhood of the founder's office... Apart from this Mother toy, would be dangerous.

Finally the sensor corridor here, the employees always used their Grabpack to close the game station, so I'm sure I've already covered a lot of ground. At least that's what my feet say, they feel like they're about to fall off, damn.... Why does everything always hurt so much?

Hang on... does my hand even work on the sensors? no, I have to try it and if not I have to cross this metal sheet somehow, is there any other way? I have to think while I'm doing this, I look at the pipes on the left and right... then I realise how high this room goes???.

I wish I'd been here more often...instead of Playcare, where only the children come without their parents. But 'do I even have parents?' I can hardly remember anything other than all the tests here and the hour... that brought all this here in the first place. The Hour of Joy I don't even want to think about the Entire Death... and the all the blood...

I feel slightly nauseous already, 'no I have to keep going' It's like a reflex with my ability I stretch my arm out like it's a couple of metres long and just mentally imagine it. I don't need to close my eyes like in one of those fairy tales Miss Delight used to read to us. I know that I can do this, and at that very moment my arm flies forwards and stretches out many metres, and I reach the sensor perfectly with my hand. It's cold

I just hope it works, and I hear the slightest vibration, The sensor.

A small bar on the screen fills slowly but steadily with a red colour until it reaches the end and a loud beep sounds. oh no that was loud... too loud.

Someone... no something must have heard it. I have to hurry from now on, the gate is up and I can now see through, a huge room, lots of games, slides and everything I could ever have hoped for to the left and right. 'Is that an information sign at the front?' I walk a little forwards and only then do I notice it... The huge clock hanging above the tracks at the end of the room.

"I need to know-" My stomach lets out a very loud growl, No not now, damn that hurts. I can still stand but hobble on in the direction of the giant Podest, there are pictures all over the sides, some with a few words but interestingly some with some text. I try to read something on a picture on a pillar... but at that moment I collapse on the floor The pain.

It hurts much more than it did a few hours ago, and I remember the words of the scientists "No!, he doesn't have to eat anything, remember?!, Patchface here won't get anything until he shows us if it works with his body!" I try not to get too worked up as I climb a few small stairs and finally arrive at the front of the platform. Three levers? I knew I wouldn't be able to ride the train... but I never thought there would be some kind of code.

Wait where is the Train?

But I don't have much time to think about it anyway, because I feel something coming up my throat and instinctively kneel on the floor… to throw up away from me...'just stomach fluids'. I can't even remember the last time I ate something... Apart from a few fingers of myself. But I also see a little blood in my vomit, slowly running down the bright blue stairs of the podest. Disgusting

“im hungry….” I stretch my arm subconciusly against the panel as I kneel on the floor. 'wait a minute...' something is crawling up ahead, as if I had new energy I stand up and stare at a swing in the right corner...not far away from me.

A small animal, about the size of my hand, 'just lying there on the floor?'

"Is it... dead?" Without much thinking, I simply move towards the small animal. Not thinking anything… anything at all.

Third person Pov:

Angel walks slowly and carefully towards the small animal, kneeling down to take a closer look... It has just died.

But that doesn't seem to interest him... He desperately wraps both hands around the little animal and bites its head off. Without resistance or anything else, he stuffs it into his scarred mouth and tears it to pieces with his teeth. The bones slowly crack together in his mouth and he doesn't seem to notice that a little blood is flowing out of the corner of his mouth, he is completely mentally focussed on Surviving.

That's why it was necessary to devour this little lost Rat. He slowly begins to swallow the rat's mangled flesh, but then he opens his mouth and spits out something else, the rat's tail. He coughs twice and quickly turns his head to check the game station, there is still no toy in sight.

Anything to survive.... Right?

He stands up slowly and walks back over to the platform and takes a closer look at the tracks that come on after the train. He glances briefly at the dark corridor that follows the tracks and immediately runs back to the platform.

But just then he Collapses on the ground. Tears, blood and every possible bodily fluid is just leaving him. He vomits on the floor repeatedly, crying and pissing himself at the same time. The crying gets stronger. He has a mental as well as a physical breakdown. He lies on the floor for a few minutes... crying.

But then, out of nowhere, he gets up and catches himself for a moment. The crying stops and he wipes his tears with his arm, which is already smeared with blood.

Then he turns to the train and walks off... A short jump down onto the tracks and he is now on his way to his only destination that could still give him the chance to live.

Angel Pov:

I can't take any more of this... All this pain, the Hunger and the fact that if a toy found me, I'd probably be some kind of food source for the rest of my rotten life. The pain while having my limbs cut off... no... teared off would be unimaginable with these Monsters.

No... I must go on... I must survive.

Im on my way:     Playcare

[cheste7]

Day 2 (18/11/23)🌟

a pic of my bias in seventeen because why not

hi again! even if it's inly 5 pm in my country i'd call it a day. tonight I didn't sleep well (no way🫠) because of a mosquito and also because i had to wait for my roommate to return home. so this morning i woke up very tired and upset for some rent issues. we took the subway all the way down to the nearest bill office (idk if it is a word in english) to complain about this. 💸 then my roommate left for his hometown and now i'll spend the weekend alone. i was quite happy to relax and take a short time of rest in solitude but then i started feeling mentally and physically drained about this and that and i ended up with nothing done. I JUST WANT TO SLEEP 🛏

however, i decided not to study anything uni-related today bc it would be unproductive, i think i will revise something after dinner but nothing more

Language things:

JAPANESE: i completed one lesson about some basic counter suffixes but I want to practice more because there are so many!! i am finally pretty confident with my N5 kanji knowledge and when I hear a new word in the minna no nihongo lessons on yt i always try to write it in kanji characters. learning kanji makes my chinese mandarin studies way easier even if japanese grammar is more similar to korean language. however in today's lesson i found a word which i remember from the sushi restaurant the other day いらっしゃいませ which means welcome! 🥢 i've also learned how to say things such as i have been studying japanese for two months ( 私は２ヶ月日本語を勉強しま。)🇯🇵

KOREAN: i continued to study some grammar points from the seventeen's blog in Budapest, this time i've learned A-(으)ㄴ 것 같다 and V- 는 것 같다 to express a guess and i watched a video by ggomi's school on yt, she's really good and her explanations are very clear even though they're in korean. recently i've started to write in a journal some simple sentences about my daily life, my feelings and everything that comes in mind and i think my korean writing skills are slowly improving. also, i like to test my speaking skills with papago translator to see if my pronounciation is correct (at the moment i'm not ready yet to talk with native speakers on hellotalk etc) 🇰🇷

i did not study chinese today because I have to retain the things i've learned and also because I think I have to work on my pronounciation so im planning to watch some content I like such as a cdrama or stuff🇨🇳

i'm a bit hungry now but today I ate pasta with pesto and i burnt my tongue while tasting the pasta to see if it was ready so i don't know if i'll be able to eat something lol

also i don't know if im going out with my friend tonight im too tired for this (im talking like an old lady👵)

[yxnjinsduality]

Glitch - Chapter 3

~ in the blink of an eye ~

Olive pov

As it's my lunch time I decide why not head home for lunch today, I don't live far and I'll come back straight after. Deciding that's what I was gonna do I grab my bag and head out making sure to tell Mrs. hemmings I'll be back after lunch.

Heading home I think I'm just going to eat something light for lunch as I'm not that hungry but should still eat something. The walk home was short as always, heading inside I set my keys down and headed over to the fridge to grab some lettuce.

I decided I'm just going to have a little salad with some veggies and fruits for the meantime. While making my salad I got a notification that one of the straykids members have gone live on YouTube and me being the stay I am clicks on it.

Felix decided to go live today, he says he's going to do ASMR but I can never take him seriously when he does. It's always chaotic but I'm glad he isn't a professional or anything because I give him a C and that's just for effort.

Finishing up my salad I get up to wash my bowel and utensils that I used getting ready to head out and back to the library. Most of the time I'd wait a little longer to head back but I'm gonna head back early today. Grabbing my phone I see that Felix is saying goodbye to stays as he's getting ready to end the live.

All of a sudden I feel a little dizzy as if I'm going to pass out though I don't understand why. I've been fine all day and I just ate so I should be fine right? That's when everything goes dark.

I can hear people talking but I don't really understand what they're saying, my eyes are still closed and feel like I'm laying on a couch of some sort. Opening my eyes I'm met with 3 sets of eyes looking straight at me, I can tell I'm not at my apartment and that I've been located somewhere different, looking at my surroundings is when it hits me.

Felix just ended his live and I went blank the second he did look at the wall it's the same cream colored wall that was behind Felix and the same one that is now behind me. I don't wanna believe that I'm in the same place how could I? I live all the way across the country maybe even farther from where he is, but the voice who spoke to me proved all my intuitions right.

"are you alright?", the voice asks.

Looking up at who spoke at me I'm met with the one and only Felix of straykids. I'm honestly panicking right now how did I end up all the way in Korea alone!

"I'm fine", I reply back sitting up and taking in my surroundings.

"how did I get here", I say to myself still aware of the people around me.

"that we aren't sure of, you kind of just appeared", another voice said. The voice belonged to the leader of straykids Bangchan accompanying him was changbin.

Not sure of how I got here I responded, "so you're telling me I just appeared here?", I ask still confused about everything. "Yes that's exactly what I'm saying", chan says looking at me.

"that's impossible I'm from Jonesborough, Tennessee how did I end up there all the way here in Korea!", I say a little frustration in my voice. If I'm being honest anyone would be frustrated if they were in my place.

"I found you here just seconds after I finished doing something", Felix says looking at me with a little bit of worry and interest.

"what's your name, if you don't mind me asking", changbin asks out of curiosity.

"My name's Olive but people call me oli", I say looking at him. I never imagined I would be face to face or even speaking to them in person.

"nice to meet you olive im chang-", cutting him off I say "I know who you are, i know who all of you are", I say looking at the three men.

"you do??", all three of them say with surprised faces.

"of course I do that's how I know I'm in Korea! I was watching Felix's live before I blacked out and ended up here", I say with confidence.

"well then do you know what happened before you got here?", chan asks.

"Yea I was getting ready to leave my apartment then all of a sudden everything went black and now I'm here", I say.

"I don't really know what to do in this situation", chan says.

I can tell they want to ask questions about I and stuff but are refraining from doing so. I don't really mind people asking questions but I don't really think I'm in the best state for that right now.

Do not copy or translate my work with ASKING me first/ all chapters are copyrighted yxnjinsduality 2024 ©️, divider by @cafekitsune

[dawnowar]

Spending my Xmas days off cleaning the house

Went to get my annual eye exam today before the end of the year and my prescription hasn't changed which is cool because i have roughly 50 pairs of glasses now and I don't want to have to start over. Makes me want to buy more even though i clearly do not need more but that never stopped me before.

I was going to take myself out for chicken wings so i asked where the best ones are and then went there. It was a sports bar with a big "seat yourself" sign, so I did and promptly got completely ignored by everyone who works there. As i sat on the uncomfortable chair waiting for no one to take my order I noticed how much i hate this place and the crowd that came with it and the many blaring TV with football games on it, so I left and ordered wings from Sheetz from my phone in the parking lot which were ready in the time it took me to drive there and pick them up.

Ate wings with my cats on my comfy sofa in my own time which made me much happier. Got a good shake too for less money than it would have cost me at the sports bar and then i would have had to tip the waitress for giving me shitty service on top of it.

Yeah i know its Christmas Eve Day and a Sunday at that and maybe its not the best day/time to happen into a sports bar that's one of the places staying open for people to drink at on Xmas Eve but whatever. I had a shitty experience and I'm not sorry for leaving.

I'm doing laundry including all the various holiday themed outfits so i can put them away and the bedding and anything I've been meaning to wash and not getting to. I decluttered a lot of the living room and i have intentions of decluttering the bathroom and cleaning the kitchen before the holiday is over.

I have a frozen lasagne for dinner tonight and some texas toast. It's not a typical tradition but it's mine.

I've been sick for a couple of months. All normal stuff just one sickness after another. I havent been well for more than a few days before i get the next thing and i'm so ready to be well again but I didn't go out to the before-christmas parties and I guess im glad because it seems everyone got covid at a thing I skipped so I stopped feeling bad about not going out now I'm well enough to go out again.

In fact ive been collecting clothes and makeup and such. Online shopping while I've been sick for my return to going out again and i just havent gone out again. But its winter now and I ate too much between being sick and inactive and the holidays, i need to diet and exercise again for a bit i think before i get in some of these clothes.

I am expecting to go out for New Years Eve. I like to drink some champagne with strangers in a fancy dress for that holiday.

I have an idea where im going but i dont know what i will wear. But I have choices which is awesome.

I've been taking an estrogen/progesterone cream because I was having hot flashes due to menopause that was waking me up every hour and i was so tired from not being able to sleep properly.

This stuff had me sleeping great right away so I was totally into it but now I'm sleepy all the time even when I don't do anything and I'm cutting the dosage in half hoping that makes some difference.

Not sure what it'll do but im trying it now and not when i need to be at work all day in the morning in case I can't sleep. Last night i did the first half dose and I woke up hungry in the middle of the night but i didn't wake up with a hot flash so it was inconclusive.

I don't miss the hot flashes and I'm sure i'd rather be overtired from estrogen than sleep-deprived from lack of estrogen but hoping to find a happy medium where im not tired all the time.

I dont care a thing about Christmas but im happy to have these days off. We should get a bunch of days off every two or three months just because imho.

To catch up on what you need to catch up on and do Drs appointments and service your car and shit.

I pretty much gave up on 2023 a few weeks ago when I realized I basically wasnt going to be well enough to do any of the fun holiday stuff and I may as well just stay home and clean. I'm fine with all this. It needs to be done and the more I do the more I start to feel like I'm reclaiming my life as I am reclaiming my house.

So its time to fold and put away the laundry in the dryer and rotate in another load.

Happy Holidays.

[moonssugar]

🍬🍄🧁🌷 for the big ask gameee (for any oc/whoever you want to talk abt the most!)

thanks for the asks dallon!!

[candy]🍬: sam would like to receive (more) plushies, trinkets, a bundle of wildflowers, art prints, random cool looking pebbles and minerals his s/o found, (more) art books and most importantly a big kiss and a hug that lasts for 10 minutes. chelsie would like the game she's had on her steam wishlist for two years that she hasnt been able to buy, dinner at her favorite restaurant, novelty trinkets and oddities, (more) bangle bracelets, maybe a movie date and also a big kiss and a hug that lasts for 10 minutes. aubry would like breakfast in bed, flowers her gf found on her walk, a stroll through the woods (holding hands), to go swimming in the river and at the end of the day some stargazing and falling asleep in rocking chairs (holding hands).

[mushroom] 🍄: sam will pick up mushrooms to 'taste' them and see if theyre safe and thinks every mushroo, must be good because theyre mushrooms?? little fun guys? whats the worst that can happen? they're not ripe yet? (sam only thinks of food in terms of ripeness). he has only eaten store mushrooms so he thinks theyre all fine, maybe if theyre cooked first? he doesn't live in the lush part of arizona where mushies are common and his mom, being the amazing conservationist and ecologist she is, somehow missed the mushroom identification part of his wilderness education. bone apple teeth :3 (kaid has more sense than him though and keeps finding excuses for him to not eat random mushrooms mostly by knocking them out of his hand. you will catch this coyote nibbling on berries though and who can blame him for that?)

aubry watches in horror as she sees her friends put strange mushrooms in their mouths without knowing exactly what they are first because she has exhaustive knowledge about her local berry and mushrooms plants implanted in her brain by her dads so she doesnt die from eating the wrong thing. and she's heard way too many stories about people getting seriously ill from 'chicken of the woods' they misidentified because they don't listen. she has to teach them about it which would make her the least likely to eat random mushrooms and flora like wildberries. minus that one time she almost ate something that looked identical to a blackberry but contained neurotoxins. don't blame her though that species doesn't exist in her universe. chelsie will eat anything if shes hungry enough which makes her very likely to eat random mushrooms. she'll be somewhat disappointed when they don't cause her to trip or make her feel less hungry but do give her tummy problems. we can tell from this that aubry spent her childhood outside in the american (us) south east but sam grew up in the american (us) south west which requires completely different environmental knowledge. aubry does think you can survive a week without water and that sunscreen isnt necessary though. even though shes a whole ginger. this is why you have friends that fill up the gaps in your knowledge. chelsie is just living in permanent fuck around and find out mode and grew up in various cities. does she even know mushrooms can kill you? doubt it. anways nom

[cupcake] 🧁: ive described chelsie smelling faintly like lemon citrus before and i know im taking this literally now but i think i'd describe her as lemon citrus too and oranges, personality wise. citrus tasting: tangy surprising, a little (or very) overwhelming at times, something to savor. she can be a sweet clementine when she wants to be and she is that person for some but the citrus is still there and anyone that loves her doesn't ever want to change that 🍊 . sam can also be described as fruity tasting, ive been associating him with mangoes 🥭 and apricots since day one, sweet, honey smooth, pleasant and welcome, very natural tasting. there's nothing artificial here, its the real thing or nothing. those fruits are comfort food for him. aubry i would describe as strawberry 🍓 flavored, the just before ripe ones that you think are just sweet and nothing else that are actually tart and sweet when you bite into them. the seeds make a little rough fuzzy exterior but really she's a softie on the inside. i made them all fruity lil fruits this was a natural conclusion to draw from them 🏳️‍🌈 sorry this became what "what fruit are your characters" answer. as a bonus, fatima could be described as how kiwi and fig maamoul cookies taste, rich, bready, sugary and down to earth tasting. with a little tartness (kiwi)

[tulip 🌷] sam's favorite flowers are sunflowers, roadside wildflowers and cactus blooms and he's always trying to collect the cactus blooms for his mom and his fingers are screaming because of it. chelsie's favorite flowers every since she was a child have been chrysanthemum and cosmos flowers because an old lady that used to be her neighbor grew them in her garden and because of that memory she named chrysa and cosmos after them. she also likes tiny daisies. aubry loves white clover blooms and braiding them into people's hair, wisteria, lavender and forget-me-nots.

[mwagneto]

.

[thecontumacious]

Your writing is so good!! (*/ω＼*)

Can you maybe do a luxiem bois with a reader that's getting burnt out from work and the bois trying to help them? (*˙˘˙)♡

"Come, rest with me a while."

a/n: i told you guys i'd go a bit crazy with fics hehe ALSO ANON IM RLY SORRY I'M SO SO LATE IN DELIVERING THIS TO YOU

reminder that all my work and others in the fandom are purely fiction and intended to entertain, not to be projected irl. 

quick disclaimer: i based all these burnouts on my own personal experiences as burnouts are different for everyone!

Vox Akuma 👹🌹

man is hands on dropping everything upon noticing the tiniest of signs (´･ᴗ･ ` )

without much being said, vox is obviously no stranger to this and after centuries, he's pretty much already mastered the art of preventing the dreaded burn out

so when he sees you staring head on at your work, your fingers set on the side doing nothing, your gaze just a bit emptier than usual, he knows

"what's wrong, love? exhausted from work?" he coos, wrapping his arms around you from behind. vox immediately feels the strain on your shoulders, further indicating you were definitely close to your limit

if anything you already were

vox is one to just sit down and calm you down with words, coaxing you to take a mental break for yourself

it almost didn't matter if you were hungry or not

he's straight to the kitchen to cook something up for you

it could be a comfort food of yours, something of his or something completely new he's been wanting to try in a while

either way, you're eating all of his delicious foods

"but vox, i already ate though..."

"you don't want this food to go to waste now, do you?"

if you're the type to sit quiet during burnouts and rather not talk about the daunting mental block, vox is absolutely fine with it and would probably just stuff your mouth with his food

oh and his lips ;D

ah yes the sussy jokes and pickup lines

god pls have mercy(″ロ゛)

"my, my, if your lips are going to stay frowning like that, mind if i give it a smile with my own?"

"or would it better if i put them to better use?"

KAJHSJKSHASHSGJH?????

SUSSY SUSSY SUSSY

anyway 💀

if the day had been extremely cruel to you, your work piling over, the expectations ever so towering but your mind at a fucking dead end all until your sanity results to tears

"oh dear, shhh, shhh, sweet thing. come here," vox whispers, sitting next to you and bringing you immediately against his chest. "it's alright to let it out, my dear. cry as much as you want. but i'll stay here with you."

if this were me i'd be crying even harder yall 😭

slight mother instincts kicking in, he'll literally just baby you as you weep away your woes. it won't be super obvious but know that deep down, he cares so much about you

he'll just rock you back and forth wherever you are, stroking your hair gently while whispering things your heart needed right now

"all will pass, love. i promise it'll be alright."

"n-no it won't, vox..."

"really? what makes you think that?"

"j-just everything! look at me, i'm failing everything..."

"i'll be honest with you," he smiles, wiping a fallen tear. "i don't see that happening. to me, all i see is your body asking you to rest. it's telling you to take some time off."

"b-but--"

"trust me, dear," he leans down, bringing you closer against him as he placed a chaste kiss at the top of your head. "i believe you to be strong. but there will be times you need to take a break to make yourself even stronger next time. do you understand?"

once you've settled down, he's stuffing your face with more food (´ ω `♡)

no matter how long you're healing yourself, vox will always be there every step of the way. he's holding your hand, he's hugging you, he's kissing your tears away

and by the time you're back on your feet again, the light in your eyes a bright glow and your fire of passion burning through, vox will just proudly smile as you recount today's achievements

"vox, vox, look! i finally got it done! and the results for that other thing i'm doing came back positive!"

when he promised he will do anything to protect that beautiful smile of yours, he meant it with every fiber of his body.

he laughs, pulling you in to place a kiss on your lips, "well done, sweet thing. i knew you could do it."

other boys utc!

Mysta Rias 🦊🔶

i think it'd take a while for mysta to rly notice what was going on (despite being a detective yes)

initially, he thought you were just in a bad spot today. bad day? bad mood? one of those short term emotional breaks is all

but when he catches sight of you continuing to sigh in front of your work, groaning even more often and the many times your face lost its color from constant hopelessness

yes he notices

but he's actually hesitant to rly take action upon it

mysta is very used to seeing you be so positive and happy about things, telling him about your day, even if it was a terrible one

in short, he was used to seeing you smile

but even as one tiny joke didn't manage to bring that back on your face, mysta was extremely worried

was his joke funny? did it offend you more than it should've healed you?

he was nervous to talk you about it, afraid he'd take the wrong step

sooo i will have to ask you to be one opening up to him. at least tell him what's going on and what's been bother your mind to affect your moods like this(>_<)

mysta will appreciate you so much for doing that and once he understands what it is you're going through exactly, he'll definitely offer you all sorts of help

"burnout huh? they suck a lot," he sighs, taking your hand in his and rubbing your knuckles with his thumb. he smiles, kissing it, "it's okay, babe. that means you just gotta take a break, right?"

"as simple as that sounds, mysta, i don't know if i can right now... work is piling all over me."

"huh, what assholes to be overworking you right?"

you snort a bit, shaking your head.

phase one: get them to smile at least a bit. complete.( ◡‿◡ *)

"okay, okay, listen," mysta scoots closer, squeezing your fingers on the way. "i just saw this new (anime/show) come out and a few episodes have been posted. so many people have been saying it's good. up to binge?"

that is his go to way of cheering you up

mysta will immediately try to make you forget what it is that is troubling you, preferably through some entertainment like games or movies.

if it goes back to bother you again, he's quick to make a joke about it in hopes you won't feel as intimidated by it

oh and he's more than glad to take you to the grocery store to pick up a whole new stash of snacks <3

tbh mysta is a big snackie so it's also an excuse to be munching on some lmao

"wait why are we getting ice cream again, mysta? don't we already have some at home?"

"uhhhitgrewlegsandranaway"

"to your stomach?"

"nooooooooo?"

phase two: get snacks and movie plans. complete.(ง ื▿ ื)ว

he will not care how many snacks and or movies it will take to bring you back again mentally. he's there to handle the remote on what you're watching for the rest of the night and he's the one getting up on his feet to grab more snacks

but as soon as mysta sees the tears fall out and you're breathing a lot heavier then before, he can't help but want to cry too

honestly he becomes a mess with you at this point

"hey, hey.. d-don't cry, i-i'm gonna cry too now.." he tries coaxing you, his eyes pricking. he held your shaky hands in hopes to find stability within himself

but yeah it doesn't rly work

"goddammit," he mumbles to himself, sniffling

serious time: he feels rly useless when he can only sit there and watch you cry, especially when he finds himself crying too

"babe, babe, look, it's gonna be okay, right?" he tries but it makes you cry even worse

you don't mean to make him feel even worse, honest!

so what's the solution now?

well... cry together until one of you calms down┐(~ー~;)┌

most times, you're the one calming down first so when you cease your weeping and see that mysta was upset as well, you're the one comforting him.

you know what they say: to cheer yourself up, cheer someone else up.

mysta will just look into your swollen red eyes with the biggest pout in the world, "i-i'm fine, i promise, babe."

you giggle, leaning in to kiss his cheeks. "why are we such a mess, mysta?"

"we're destined to be together is all."(//ω//)

and then it's back to movies and snacks until dawn

once you're back on your feet, laughing, smiling and scolding mysta for something he's done, he knows you're okay again

when you show him an achievement you've gotten, sparkles in your eyes, he'll just grin at you while patting your head, "good job, baby. you're so, so strong. i love you."

Luca Kaneshiro 🦮🔆

not immediately but the moment he starts talking to you and your responses are not like usual, he knows something is up

although not necessarily assuming it was burnout

you're always putting on a smile for him or at the very least giving him more extensive responses to his questions and comments

instead of those, he's only getting 'hm's

his metaphorical puppy ears and tails droop down

"honey? is everything okay?" luca asks you gently while frowning

if you're the type to push people away during these rather dark times, i'm gonna have to apologize on luca's behalf bcs he's the type to push you until he knows you're okay

of course it's not so forceful it's toxic

but just know that luca is genuinely worried about you and if he doesn't know what's up, he's afraid he'll step on a landmine

"honey please? just tell me how you're feeling. was it a bad day?"

to be honest though, with luca's natural adorable charm, it's sorta hard to look away without giving in to him (biased asf lmao)

however if you still aren't in the right place to be speaking, luca will just sigh and give you a kiss to the temple, smiling gently, "alright then. just find me if you're ready to talk okay? i'll always be here to listen."

BABYYYYY

˚‧º·(′̥̥̥ o ‵̥̥̥)‧º·˚

ahem

he'll be so happy once he sees you approach him, tugging on his sleeve although still a bit sad(╯_╰)

"yes, honey?" luca smiles, putting away his work

i mean bro come on doesn't his smile alone just give you relief?

your heart feels a bit lighter and then you start to spill everything, informing him that it was probably burnout from all the work you've been doing

"oh, honey, come here, come here," luca is the one coming to you tho

you happily receive him in your arms, wrapping yourself in the comforting scent of luca kaneshiro

he starts stroking your hair, rocking you back and forth while humming a soft tune

"how about we hang out for the rest of the day? i'll clear up my schedule, no problem!"

and as much as you insisted that you just wanted a sliver of his time, he's not listening to you anyway and requesting his secretary to clear up any meetings today

he also even went as far as tweeting that he'll be cancelling the stream if he hasn't already

dw, us lucubs are nice! >:3

luca is the type to try and make you forget about your burnout like mysta although a little bit more active

games, movies, a night out, cooking together if you haven't eaten

i think the one thing luca won't ever forget to mention to cheer you up (especially in these dire times) is skin care!! ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭

he's not afraid to be seen with cute bunny hair band to put his long hair away and have cucumbers on his eyes 🥒

i mean why would he? he always feel so nice afterwards

can't a mafia boss clean himself up too(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

always ready with a stash of skincare, from face masks, hair masks, lip scrubs, undereye masks, waxing, nail care--i could go on tbh and luca would prob still have more

or if you'd like, luca is more than glad to be bring you to a spa to get yourself done but honestly, he likes doing it at home with you because he think it's more intimate ;)

"careful babe you're gonna get it all over my eyes!!"

"i heard smoothies from these ingredients make your skin feel good from the inside."

"i feel like painting my nails today... i still can't get the hang of painting my right hand tho... "

"ooohhh this one smells so nice, honey! come on come on let's do this one."

at the end of the night, luca will have you snuggled up against him watching a gentle movie

he'll also just brush away at your face, deciding to bring up your case of burnout now that your heart is in a much better place

"hey, about your burnout. i know it sucks being in this phase of your life right now but listen to me," then he'll cup your cheeks and squish them. "i know you well enough that something like this is just another obstacle. and even if you have trouble going through it, i'll kick its ass down with you. you hear me?"

you don't even remember about your burnout, knowing your (yellow) knight in shining armor is good on kicking some ass down with you

you clasp your hands onto luca's, leaning up to kiss his nose

he frowns, "but honey you missed..."

laughing, you try again. this time, properly.

luca giggles, "i love you."

and once you're back on your feet again, luca has never been more proud of you. he'll hug you tightly, spin you around in the air and probably invite you for a night out at your favorite restaurant

"I'M SOO PROUD OF YOU, BABYYYY! POGGGGGG!"（〜^∇^ )〜

Ike Eveland 🖋💙

notices immediately and already knows what to do

although not as experienced as vox, ike tends to keep himself busy a lot so he has no shortage of burnouts

he's tried different ways of healing himself, from the internet from asking people

it can be super hard going through these things alone, so when he sees you in this state, with symptoms he himself is so familiar with, his heart aches and he reaches out to you so that you don't have to go through the same thing he did often

safe to say that he'll be very serious about this⊂(▀¯▀⊂ )

sure, jokes can help from time to time but i think ike is the type to rly take things head on

ike knows you super well so he knows if you'd like some space right now, or if you need some company

if you feel more reserved and "to avoid" him, he knows to back off for the time being. but he doesn't just go back to his work until you've cooled off

ike wants you to know (although indirectly) that he's there for you still

so what he does is step out of the room and place a drink of your choice near you

"remember to hydrate yourself, okay?" he gently tells you

and when you thank him, giving him a small smile, ike touches your hand like he's asking for permission

if you don't react much, ike will just lean down and place kisses all over your face

to rly rly rly rly remind him that you're not alone, despite all your problems and flaws(˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )

when the day is very bad, your heart just wanting to break and your mind shattering to pieces from the emotional distress, ike would prefer to be with you rather than give you space

seems disrespectful of what you rly wanted at the time, but pls bear in mind that ike wants to make sure you're okay

it's not that he doesn't trust you either

he just... doesn't like it when you're hurting, alone especially

"please let me stay with you," ike will tell you when you push him away

don't tell me you have the heart to rly refuse this soft king :<

he'll just hold you without saying much, stroking your hair, wiping your tears, kissing them away at the right times

if you want to ramble and rant about everything, telling him how work rly sucks, how you've been failing everything and just being in a terrible mental state, ike doesn't mind either

he's definitely the listener type, absorbing in all of your words like a sponge

so it seems as though he always had the perfect words to say at times like these

i mean.

he's a novelist, he writes songs--

his philosophy is bound to be different from others. or at the very least, word the most common phrases in a way it seemed so original????

ಠ_ಠ

you can't tell me otherwise that he'll be singing to you to make you feel better :D

he's slightly shy about it (this cute bby istg) but once he comes to terms that he was doing this for you and to hopefully make you smile again, he'll start humming a song

something he liked, something you liked, something he was working on

it never fails to put your heart and mind at ease

ike eveland will sit, sing, hold you etc etc for hours on end if it meant seeing you stand back up again

seeing as he's super used to burnouts, i think he actual has some concrete ways of slowly getting you back up there

he totally understands if you're not ready yet, but the way he persuades you--

yeah, sometimes you wonder if it's a blessing or not to be dating ike eveland

i'm just kidding it's always a blessing†_(ﾟｰﾟ*)β

he'll even set aside his own work to help you do yours, even as simple as organizing your papers, cleaning up your soft files and all the mundane things your work has you do

you'd be lying if you said that wasn't such a big big help

and before you knew it, you're back to being productive in a lesser time than usual

when you show ike that you've cleared up your work list and or the results of your hard work, he feels more fulfilling knowing that you were saved from the spiraling misery of burnout

he pats your head, brings you onto his lap and presses a very passionate kiss to your lips

then you pull away to see his slightly teary eyes, "i'm so, so proud of you älskling."

Shu Yamino 🔮✨

would notice you acting differently, say like staring off into your laptop but doing nothing or sighing just a bit more than usual

shu would def start speculating something is going on and he tests his own theory out by talking to you

"hey there baby," he coos, his eyes sparkling

"mhm," and although you were smiling, shu could tell it was half hearted

yep, something's going on

unlike luca though, he'll be a lot gentler when coaxing you to tell him

he would like to use his spells to spill out of you but he knows super well that's not rly nice so he'll just keep on asking you without using any underhanded tricks

after the third time asking, he'll just sigh and cuddle you silently, holding your hand

"it's alright if you don't wanna tell me. just let me stay with you okay?"

his soothing voice and the way he pleaded a little bit was hard to refuse :<

but just know that shu doesn't want to leave you alone like this, even if he doesn't know for sure what it is you're going through

shu kinda already had a hunch that it might've been burnout but he wants to you tell him himself

after a while, you finally tell him what's going on and he's more than glad to open his arms for you if comfort is what you need

shu is also super calm and smiling throughout the entire thing

it's a trick he learned somewhere

when you're handling something (especially if it's stressful), if one person is smiling, other people just tend to calm down a lot more

you'd be lying if you said it hasn't worked out with him :3

anyway

i think is all about reassuring you mentally

he wants to rebuild you back again before he can move onto other things

so he wouldn't immediately try to distract you from the stress

to him, it's important you recognize what you're feeling and learn how to face it head on instead of running away from it first (ofc this doesn't apply to everyone, you do you readers^^)

"take a deep breath for me."

"clear your head first and focus on my voice, okay? close your eyes if you need to."

he has the habit of pressing between your eyebrows if it furrows so it's just a super cute way to remind you that you should relax

٩꒰ ˘ ³˘꒱۶~♡

after you're calm, shu will simply smile at you and start telling you about your past achievements, about all the good things about you, about how strong you are and basically the wonderful being you were born as ٩(◕‿◕)۶

but if you're feel more broken apart this time and you can't help but tear up, shu will admittedly freeze up first

this was the one thing shu was so afraid of happening, exactly why he wanted to reassure you mentally first

he'll be at a loss of words on what to do next, he himself not knowing what to do

seeing you cry breaks his heart okay

but shu yamino is a keeper of his words so if he said that he's gonna protect your smile, he will do exactly that even if it daunted him

he'll cup your cheeks so that you're focused on him and you can see he's trying to maintain a strong smile for you despite the tears

shu will just kiss away your tears, each one getting longer every time

BRO THIS AGAIN WOULD MAKE ME CRY EVEN MORE ;-;;;;

after you've calmed down, shu will finally kiss you on the lips and say, "there you are. hi."

he'll then bring you into his embrace, so tightly against him as if he was afraid that you'd actually disappear from him, that something would take you away from him

something not even his jujutsu magic could do

"it's all gonna be okay. i'm right here to go through it with you," he whispers, rubbing your back.

"b-but--"

"when have i ever gone back on my word, babe?"

that he was correct about

you just sigh and melt into him, snuggling into his chest

and for the rest of the day, it really is healing time for both you and him

you're not allowed to be touching anymore work by shu (not directly but by unwilling to let you go hsakjshk) so you have the time to rly just relax and save yourself from further destruction

and as for shu?

it becomes a reminder for him that he should take care of you more often

not in a way that you can't handle yourself

but the fact that he couldn't prevent you from getting these burnouts in the first place, maybe he should've stopped you from working too much

then you suddenly touch his face

shu looks up at you

you're smiling now

"there you are. hi, shu."

he can't help but tear up and cry at the same time, leaning into your hands

it's definitely the little things with you and shu

and once you've picked yourself up again with the sorcerer's help, you're back to laughing and making corny jokes with him, you're in a way reminding shu that he's saved you all over again

"shu, shu, look! i got rly good feedbacks on these!"

ah, that glimmer in your eyes...

he leans in and places a kiss on your temple, "good job, cutie."

Masterlist!

[areislol]

what about the prompt where reader gets shut down while talking about something they're passionate about but with streamer!scaramouche? :D

streamer! scaramouche x reader

ft — scaramouche warnings — angry scara >:) a/n — not streamer! scara.. well this is going to be interesting! i'd love to see angry scara so.. here it is y'all, don't we love scara who ONLY has a soft spot for you? i hope you have a great day anon!!

recommend listening to: you finally found the one; playlist

streamer! scaramouche x online friend! reader

does this person have a death wish??

they have the audacity to shut you down? you really don't want to live to see another day huh..

scara is the embodiment of: if you don't shut the fuck up im going to shove this ruler where the sun don't shine.

is so pissed when they shut you down.

you were talking about a character that you LOVED, it was a character from a show that scaramouche often watched with you

the other person waved their hand to dismiss you, rolling their eyes "finally.. my god anyways, what are you guys doing today?"

when the person dismissed you, your heart shattered - that might seem dramatic but you really loved this character as it has been a real part of your childhood and just knowing that someone was not listening to you rant about this really special character made you feel embarrassed.

scaramouche was there to witness everything, his anger was started to grow and grow

this person was starting to get onto his nerves, they were too annoying. they cut you off, if they weren't interested they could've just stopped you NICELY yet they didn't. and that pissed scara

when scara turned to look at you, his heart broke. you looked so sad, disappointed and embarrassed

at this very moment scara wanted to scream at them, snatch their wig off and do everything in his power to embarrass them(like exposing them on his twitter and insta) but he couldn't. not when you were right there

he didn't want to scare you, and he doesn't plan on doing so

cuts the person off with a cold smile "me and y/n are going to be leaving, now."

scara huffs loudly and eyes the person up and down, giving them the stink eye. scara literally looked disgusted when looking at that person.

you and scaramouche leave that place right away "wha- what are you doing scara?" "running away from that person dumbass"

you and scara end up in a very fancy looking restaurant, scara holds your arm and drags you in, "what on earth are you doing??"

"you've always wanted to eat this.. dish right?" "scara.. :("

yes. he did buy you that dish and many more expensive food - you two ate and finished the food.

he payed for EVERYTHING, spoils you.

will do anything to get that person out of your mind - whether it was spoiling you or distracting you with jewelry and luxurious dresses.

doesn't leave your side at all, scara's too scared that you'll run away somewhere else, or that you'll get hurt, again.

throws shade at the person on every platform.

"imagine shutting someone down when they're talking abt something they love lmfao" "lol we just love people who just love to make people upset, don't we?"

cuddles you all day, even if you protest that you're fine and that you're not sad.

"scara! im not sad anymore please- you're squeezing me a bit too tightly.." "yea yea whatever, im sorry. but im still going to- hug you.."

scara literally hates that person now, blocks and reports them. also curses at them multiple times and roasts the living hell out of them.

note: if you would like to be added to the genshin taglist pls just ask me!! dont be shy <3

taglist: @tomansimp @one-offmind @miitchiji liking + following + reblogs are very much appreciated!! another note: this is so short i hate it. anyways... dmksamdksfmdmksdmskam im so hungry my stomach is rumbling y'all ;(

[khaleesiofalicante]

Dani I’m slightly/mildly irritated/pissed off

So like I love my grandparents. They’re weird, eccentric, not sure how they’re still married cos they’re honestly neurotic. My nanny is a worrier and my grandad is a teaser but we usually get on quite well

Recently my nanny has been making comments about my eating habits. E.g. I was at a party and ate two chocolates (small pebbles sized) and she warned me away from a third and made some comment about dying of a stroke if I eat too much chocolate. Then at the end of the party I took another 2 chocolates and she said that I couldn’t finish my (very sweet) cake but I cld eat more chocolate

Then the other day It was Father’s Day so my grandad got some chocolate and my nanny can’t eat it, and she was like ooh I can’t eat that so I said if you need someone to share it with then I’m available, and then my grandad makes a joke abt how he’s worried abt my intestines, which is clearly a joke and he’s just messing cos he does that, then my nanny goes on to say she’s worried abt my arteries

My parents are NOT happy. Like she did this to my auntie and it gave her issues. I don’t think I’m overweight or unhealthy and I eat quite healthily for my age really, so I’m less self conscious and more just upset and annoyed that she’s acting like this and being judgmental

The icing on the cake is that I wanted to go see them for a chat today cos I was in the area, so I stopped by and we had a nice chat, and they offered me a fruit bar that I didn’t really like, but I wasn’t really hungry anyway, which I said.

Then my grandad got out his chocolate, and before he could say anything she immediately shouted NO SHES NOT HUNGRY

Like bro, let him offer me a chocolate. He did, i accepted, feeling like a terrible person, when he offered me another one later on I felt obliged to refuse so clearly it is affecting me, Although im not concerned abt my health just abt being judged

And then I was discussing how I’d finished two books today, and she goes off with, how much of the Bible did you read? And goes off on a long rant about how I need to be reading the Bible and basiaclly making me feel worthless for something SOO many people really struggle with. I’m kind of annoyed I didn’t tell her I was considering atheism (which I’m not, but the look on her face would have been hilarious) and this whole time she’s almost shouting at me, I think my grandad is just tryna wind me up and he goes, ‘oh I’d read the whole Bible by the time I was 16 and I was disappointed I took that long’

Thanks grandad, lovely way to make me feel good abt myself

Like seriously, you think that’s the way to encourage someone to read their bible? By looking down on them? Smh

And their judgement isn’t doing anything to help our relationship either. Like there are some things I disagree with my family on, and I’m willing to accept it and move past it and love them regardless, as long as they’re not hurting people, but I’m finding it hard to like them when there’s all this judgment.

My parents are pissed abt this as well and my mum apologised to me for their behaviour (not her fault)

It’s been going on for a while really, like I asked for an inspirational quote poster for my birthday or something and it was a read your Bible reminder, and it’s sort of nice? Except it makes me feel shit every time I see it and doesn’t work at all 😂

And then the time she bought me the same book two years in a row - which I still haven’t read, because I’m a fiction nerd and honestly 😭

Sorry to bother you, really needed to rant for the third time today or smth ha

Ay don't worry about it. I hope venting made you feel better.

I'm glad you have your parents on your side tho.

PS - If it were me, I'd eat chocolates every time I was in front of her just to piss her off. Then also send her pics of me eating chocolates :)

[satanschild01]

No All Might? That’s Alright Prt3

Izuku Midoriya Fanfiction                                                          

A/N: In all honesty this took me way too long just to finish writing this chapter, but I pushed through so I guess it’s fine. I’ve created a AO3 account recently and I’ve posted all of my previous fanfictions there so if you want to check me out, you can find me as SatansChild

Hope you all stay safe and wear a mask if you can't physically distance.Hope to update soon!

Catch you on the flip side ~ Em

Photo used in this fic was referenced from original picture from anime, I did draw this photo jtlyk

Tags:

@random-fandom-girl-24

Tags for some wonderful feedback😘: @trashys-things @pink-imagines @marvelmymarvel @shikigami-the-paper-spirit @spaced-out-imagines​ @marvelmymarvelmain @writingfreakk

Trigger warning: Talk about death

Word Count: 2633

Part 1 Part 2  Part 3

After making sure all of the blood was no longer on his uniform, Closing his eyes, Izuku steeled himself to walk into the All Might shrine that was his room. Sure, he still wanted to be a hero, and he admired All Might’s strength, but he couldn’t stand to be surrounded by posters and figurines of a man who couldn’t offer any sort of encouragement to a child who clearly needed it. Izuku pulled some cardboard boxes out from his closet and started filling them with everything All Might. Oboro didn’t make a sound during the time he cleaned out his room, which he was grateful for. Even though he could just feel Oboro wanting to ask questions. 

“So what are you going to do about all this stuff?” Oboro asked as Izuku changed his All Might sheets with regular black ones “You seem like such a big fan...it just seems like a waste just to keep it all in boxes.”

Izuku shrugged his shoulders.”I’m not much of a fan anymore.” he lied to mostly himself rather than to Oboro, “I guess I’ll just donate the stuff later.” Once his walls were finally bare, Izuku stuffed the now full boxes to the back of his closet and flopped onto his bed. The room stayed silent for a moment until Izuku broke the ice, “I don’t want to intrude on your personal life…but can you tell me about yourself?” he asked

“Well for the fact that I witnessed and helped you with some pretty deep stuff, it sorta would be rude if I didn’t tell you something about my previous life,” Oboro said cheekily

“H-how long have you been...you know…” Izuku paused not really wanting to complete the question.

“...dead?” Izuku nodded “I was in my second year of high school when I died and I would be 29 by now so...close to 12 years I think?”  Izuku sat there on his bed frozen

‘12 years is a long time to be a ghost or spirit to not have passed on, that is if people actually pass onto another place once they die’ Izuku thought to himself

“I was patrolling around Tasomiya Ward with one of my best friends when there was a villain attack...I was working on saving some kids when debris fell on top of me...when I woke up I was like how I am now, I couldn’t find my body anywhere so I just...travelled around…” Oboro seemed to quiet down at mentioning that he never found his body to move onto another life, so Izuku thought of ways to change the current mood of the room.

“So you were a hero in training or something?” he asked, face full of wonder, Oboro hummed in affirmation “What school did you go to?”

“I went to U.A”

“Wait really?!” Izuku exclaimed excitedly, “that's so cool!”

They continued talking and asking questions back and forth, before falling into a comfortable silence. A few minutes past before Izuku took a deep breath

“I...I’m sorry,” Izuku said quietly, slowly curling into himself

"Why would you be sorry kid?" Oboro’s voice was full of confusion. But Izuku only curled in on himself further.

"If it wasn't for me you wouldn't be stuck here." As if anyone wanted to be bound to some stupid Deku...like him. And here he thought it was a whole coincidence that Oboro was with him. But instead, he just took whatever type of freedom he had to begin with.

"Hey, no! Stop that. Izuku that's not true! I'm here because I want to be!" The warmth spread all over him and he couldn't help but lean into it. “I said I'd make a hero out of you and I still plan on it."

Izuku looked up only to see the ceiling of his room, lifting his arm up to the sky and let it just float there (like what every kid does while laying on there bed contemplating on what to do next). "I wish I could see you again."

Oboro hummed. Seeming to think something through. "I don’t think there’s much out there since I was only a second-year when I died, but there could be some photos of me with friends or an article"

Izuku seemed to take that as a challenge as he went to his computer. "What did you choose to be your hero name?"

"Loud Cloud."

After scouring the web for a couple of minutes nothing showed up except for an old article from the Nikkei Shimbun newspaper, reporting the death of hero-in-training Loud Cloud. Izuku quickly exited that site choosing to search for something different. “What’s your full name Oboro?”

“Oh that’s right I didn’t tell you my full name, it is Oboro Shirakumo” Oboro replied

“Oboroshirikumo...oboroshirikumooo….here!” Izuku exclaimed pointing at the monitor’s screen. “This photo was tagged saying ‘Curry eating competition at U.A’s School Festival. Winner Hizashi Yamada from class 2-A!’ it also says the names of the people in the photo are; Shota Aizawa, Hizashi Yamada, and Oboro Shirakumo.” 

“Oh, I remember that!” Oboro cried out laughing “The curry was soo spicy I was freaking out because I couldn’t find anything to soothe my burning throat!”

“So that’s you in the back then?” Izuku asked pointing towards a teenager who seems to be freaking out.

Oboro chuckles “Yep, the other two were my best friends!”

“Yamada looks sorta familiar what’s his hero name?” Izukku asked, curious on why the 16-year-old looked so familiar to him

“Unless he changed it before becoming a pro, which he probably would not, his hero name is Present Mic.” 

Izuku sputtered “W-wait you were close friends with THE Present Mic?!” Oboro hummed in agreement while Izuku had his miny freak out “

“Oh my god that is socool!Ilistentohisradioshoweveryday,andhe’ssuchanamazinghero,likeevenifheisdeafduetohisquirkhedoesn’tletitbotherhiman-” He stopped hearing the sound of laughter coming around his room and his lamp flickering

"Aw jeez, that’s amazing Hizashi got to get that radio show he wanted." There was a quick blast of warmth flooding around his back and chest resembling a hug. "Well anyway, you should probably head to bed. You have a busy day ahead of you tomorrow and a long way to go before you can have a chance at being accepted into UA!"

"What are you going to do while I sleep?" Izuku asked, eyes slowly drooping.

"I'm going to see how far I can go without being next to you, and have a look around and exploring a bit. No need to worry. I'll make sure to be careful and be here in the morning." He seemed to pick up on his anxieties. Izuku felt warmth as Oboro slowly pet his hair back. "Goodnight, Izuku." 

The next morning Izuku woke up to warmth pulsing on his right cheek. "Hey kid it’s time to get up! You have training to do! Up and at ‘em!" Oboro’s voice was overly joyful and Izuku felt very unwilling to get out of bed.

"Mm...just a bit longeeeer." He groaned turning himself over facing away from where he guesses Oboro is standing (floating?).

"Fair warning Izuku my jokes are terrible, everyone at school would always runaway once I started and I haven’t been able to talk to actual people in so long! If spaghetti were to have it’s own action movie, what would it be called?.... Mission im-pasta-ble. What did the pot eat on it’s birthday?....pancakes. What do you call a camel in a drought?....A dry hu- "

Finally, Izuku jerked up, covering his ears. “Okay. Okay, I’m up! No need to finish that.” His face started to burn a light pink across his face, (knowing what the end of the joke was) as he started to kick the blankets off only to turn towards the window and see barely any light outside. "Wha- Oboro!! The sun isn’t even out yet!"

He turned glaring into thin air hoping to make contact with him.

"Yes, it is, Izu. It's just reeeally early in the morning. There is plenty of time for you to get ready and eat before we go out for a morning run!" He was being weirdly energetic about the whole ordeal, but Izuku knew he wouldn't take no for an answer.

Heading to the bathroom, Izuku ran a brush through his wild curly hair and brushed his teeth. Going back to his room, Obroro pipped up. "It's a bit cool outside so I suggest you wear some long sleeves."

The entire way to his closet Izuku muttered incoherent things. In the end, he opted to wear a plain black shorts and a long-sleeved shirt with written kanji saying 'tank-top' with his old dusty sneakers because his red sneakers were still on top of the roof.

Before heading out Izuku ate some toast and an orange. If he got hungry later on their run he could always eat more when they got back. As Izulu started to leave the apartment Izuku tripped over an unmarked box that was just left in front of the door.

"Ooo I wonder what it is!” Oboro seemed quite enthusiastic as Izuku went to open the box revealing his faded red shoes and yellow backpack.

"Wai-how-who found my stuff?" Izuku asked immediately putting the bag by the door and quickly changing between uncomfortable and comfortable shoes.

"I don’t know, when I got back from wandering around the package was just...there."

"Maybe someone found it and found out where I live from my contact info and address was written inside…?” Izuku wondered out loud.

“I guess so,” Oboro said looking to the bright sight of things.

‘But what if it was...All Might. Yeah, I’m glad that I don’t have to go back up there to collect my things but...I don’t want to have to depend on All Might to help me with my own problems.’

“Hey don’t think like that Izu! I know you’re not a huge fan of the guy, but you don’t have to beat yourself down like that. I know you’re better than that” Oboro spoke sternly trying to make a point, but that soon backfired as warmth spread through his body.

“Hold up- could you always hear my thoughts?” Izuku questioned as he started to jog away from the apartment.

“So far I can heat some things. Like your thoughts that way heavily on you emotionally. But it could possibly work to talk to me through your mind. So you don’t look like a freak talking to themselves.” Oboro quickly informs Izuku as to not worry him.

Sighed Izuku. That was true. Though he kept thinking about it as he jogged. As they passed Dagobah Municipal Beach, the sun had started to rise. Taking in a deep breath was the wrong reason as Izuku cringed from the awful smell of garbage. Despite the smell, Izuku took a break, taking a seat at the entrance.

"Oh gross. What is this place?" Oboro asked with a clear sound of disgust in his voice.

"Well," Izuku started."This is Dagobah Municipal Beach Park. It has accumulated trash coming from the sea for years, turning it from a beautiful beach spot into a trash heap for everyone's unwanted or broken belongings." It was really a shame. As a kid, Izuku recalled going to the beach. Lie under a beach umbrella, making sandcastles. But by the time he was tall enough into the water, it was already flooded with trash by then.

"That's terrible." Oboro seemed deeply upset about this actually. It made Izuku want to do something about it. But before Izuku could voice his thoughts Oboro spoke up.

“Hey Izu, could we make a quick visit to a convenience store?”

“Sure...what exactly do you want me to get?” Izuku asked, despite having an idea what Oboro was thinking.

“Well...you’re going to need to get some garbage bags and some gloves.”

Izuku then dashed towards the nearest convenience store with determination in his eyes. A frail-looking lady turned the key to open the doors as he walked by. Causing her to recoil in slight shock, Izuku realized that with his rapid approach he had frightened her. "I'm sorry, ma'am. I'd just come to purchase some garbage bags and some gloves.

The older woman seemed to soften something about his face as she smiled and opened his door. "Sure thing, they’re both in the last aisle on your right."

Before she went inside, Izuku thanked her and smiled back. He quickly found what he was looking for and brought a box of trash bags and a pair of workers gloves onto the counter.

"What's the hurry, son? Why do you need trash bags this early in the morning? You aren't trying to cause trouble are you?" the old woman pointed to Izuku with an accusing finger, and he shook his head quickly.

"Oh no, ma'am! I thought that I could just try and clean the beach up! I passed it while I was on my morning run!" Izuku assured, voicing Oboro’s plan

At this, the elder woman gently smiles while scanning the items. “Wow, is that right?” she said astonished, “ You know how long that place has been a mess? What makes you believe you can do it all by yourself?"

Her words weren't really painful, she was just being realistic. He knew she was right. He certainly had no obligation to clean up the beach. He could have just ignored it and easily went about his day. But he knew if he wanted to be a hero then he would need to start off the roots of how heroes came to be. How they used to work. Heroes in the beginning didn’t do what they did for fame. No. They didn’t care for the recognition they would get. They did it because they just wanted to help.

“That’s the thing, ma’am. I thought that it wouldn’t hurt to try. It’s also a great way to work out, instead of having to buy workout equipment or get a gym membership!” Izuku brightly smiles towards the lady as he handed her the money to buy his items.

“Well, I wish you luck, kid. I’m guessing that you’ll need a place to put the trash you collect.” She stated, Izuku smiling sheepishly at her rubbing the back of his head she continued, “There are two dumpsters in the alley behind the store, they get taken every Monday.”

"Thank you, ma'am!" Izuku said genuinely as he headed for the door. He didn't think too much about how he would dispose of the garbage, so it was good to have one offered.

Oboro began to laugh as Izuku jogged back towards the beach. "Cheaper than having to buy workout equipment or get a gym membership! Man, how true that is nowadays!”

The first garbage bags were packed very quickly. broken bottles, cans of beer, old and rotting newspaper, all of it was poured into the trash bag. Plastic, paper, glass, etc. Izuku could take them to a recycling center! He was already pumped about this new project when Oboro spoke up.

“Hey, Izu, before you toss that into the bag” placing his hand on Izuku’s making him feel warmth blossom closest to the soda, can packaging he was holding in that hand. “make sure you cut each circle so if they end up in wildlife again then animals won’t get their heads stuck inside.”

Izuku's eyes lit up as he started to tear apart each loop before placing it in one of the bags used for recycling. Soon Izuku had used up a quarter of the box of trash bags gone and only had 6x5 feet rectangle cleared of the beach.

[aria-laughs]

Real talk..(needed to vent, feel free to not read this if you don't like long rants)

When i was 11 years old i had already been through my fair share of crap. Coming from a "broken" home with little money, a depressed mother and an absent father. At that time i remember being bullied as a biproduct of my sister stoping one of her classmates (a 13 year old girl) from traveling half accross the contry to meet her 19 year old boyfriend who she'd met online for the first time.. under the pretence that she was traveling to visit my dad with my big sister. This all ended with the police stoping the train and picking the girl up before she reached her destination and everyone didn't have to suffer through the ordeal with a minor being raped or worse by a yound adult in a strange city..anyway. when the summer ended and we (me and my two siblings) gor back home, all these rumors spread about us and school became tricky. I got used to it tho, i had my friends and i quickly learned to keep close to teachers whenever i was alone. At the home front my mom became sick and the kids got a lot of grown up responsibilities. It was okay too.. kids get used to a lot, and today im a wizz in the kitchen and i clean with the best of them.

My mother had a temper, and would hit us when we did something wrong. I remember trying to cover for my siblings as much as possible, trying to shield them from the worst of it. Don't get me wrong, i LOVE my mother. She's been through hell and her sroty is worse than anything i've ever heard of. I understand what happened when i grew up and i love her because she allways did her best.. but i haven't forgiven her for making my home unsafe. At 11 years old one of my teachets notised that i had a hard time with my schoolwork. They couldn't get me to focus on my work and i was distracted by anything. I remember the letters mixing up as i read, and it became impossible to do my homework because no one could see the letters moving like i could. The teached contacted my mom and my stepfather and told them he'd talk to a specialist about me maybe having ADHD. The next week my mom dropped me off at the specialist and i got tested in every subject known to man. As usuall i exelled at language, history and music. But everything else was a bit off, i remember hearing him telling my mom that it couldn't be HDHD because my memory was too good. But refered her to a doctor for more tests. The ordeal took another week before my mother came to pick me up at lunch one day and told me we had to go to the hospital.

I had a thyroid condition that firsly was almost non-exsistent, and secoundly was unheard of in someone my age. They took blood, and sent me to get an MR and CT. When all the tests came back, we got the good news that i wouldn't die if they treated it quickly. But since i was still waiting for normal bodyparts to arrive, and hadn't gone through puberty yet.. he had no idea where to start. I don't remember the name of the medication, but i remember taking 15 a day. 5 in the morning, 5 when i got home from school and 5 before bed. I took them and 39 minutes later i was sprinting to the bathroom puking my guts out. This obviously didn't work in the long run and by the end of it i was so skinny you could see my teeth through my cheeks. They changed my meds and i stopped with the hurling. Instead i gained about 30 kg in the first 6 months and looked like a beach ball on legs. And as a kid being bullied, this wasn't that fun. Let me remind you that this had been going on for a while and tho my mom did what she could.. the was depressed and didn't see how bad it got for me and all the responsibilities i had at home made me dissapear in the day-to-day of it all. Alone and scared as the bullying became physical I panicked and stoped taking my meds, and all my symptoms came back. I would sleep for 14 hours and wake up exhausted. I'd go full days without getting hungry and i'd get moodswings and get real clumsy. My family got used to this and the symptoms stoped being symptoms and started being "just me".

So now i'd wake up and have to care for my siblings, go to school without lunch for myself because i had to make it for my siblings, or forgetting to shower because i had to remind my brother to do it. I get off the buss and get my ass kicked on my way to the classroom. Some days i'd get through it and come home to start dinner for my family, and other times the bullying sent me to the ER to get stitched up (i didn't have to make dinner on those days). This happened often enough that the doctor knew me by my first name, and instead of "how did you hurt yourself?) I'd get "Again!? When the nurses came to get me. One day i slept for 16 hours and my mother confronted me about my weightloss and asked if i'd been taking my meds. I came clean and a few hours at the doctors office and one frustrating car ride later. I'd promissed to take my pills again, but by that point i had ruined my body enough to never get better. So at 15 years old the doctors decided that they'd treat my thyroid with radioactive iodine. This worked great and killed the thyroid gland, making me dependend on meds for the rest of my life.

For anyone who don't know, the thyroid gland is responsible for your bodys metabolism. This means everything... your metabolism is a part of every funktion of every organ in your entire body, tho we usually think about how fast you burn fat because this is what we see on the outside.

We did our best, and we got through it. I had a safe place with my best friend and his family. And i'd escape there as often as i could. His mother would remind me to take my meds, she'd let me shower at their place and when she realised that i never ate at school she started packing lunch for me to send with her son every day.

I don't think i'd survive and be the person i am today without them. I remember the day i finally told them what was going on at home when i grew up, at this point i had grown up and moved away from home. I had started opening up to people i trusted and understood the power of talking about my problems. i never ment it as a "why didn't you see".. im thankful for my life, even the bad pars, but i needed them to know how much they saved me. To understand how much i love them all. I'll keep their reactions to myself, but i'll tell you that i have never felt more treasured in my life.

I was 22 years old the first time someone told me that I never deserved the abuse at home. I was 25 years old when i told my mother i forgave her for the physical stuff, but that i couldn't forgive her for stealing my feeling of home and safety. And i was today years old when i wrote it down for anyone to see.

I've been taking my meds for about 17 years now, but I have yet to actually get a normal metabolism. My last stunt was that i suddenly didn't need that much medicine so my metabolism speed up to lifethreatening speed and i had to endure panic attacks, dizziness, lack of consentration and shaking so bad that i almost quit school and almost sent me into a brainfailure (yes thats a thing) over the summer. My doctors paniced and reduced my meds so much that i didn't get nearly enough. This ended with me loosing weight, not eating, shaking, being sick and passing out all over the place, and almost sent me into a life threatening coma as my body overcompensated for the loss of thyroid hormones. My dad said something i've never heard my family say before. We were eating dinner last weekend and i was having a bad day when he told me "its painful to watch you struggle like this". And i almost cried, this was the first time in forever that a parent told me that they see me. And now i'm finally starting to get back to where im used to.

I have skipped a lot of stuff that happened. Some things i don't think i'll ever talk about, and some things that are too personal or too painful or too stupid to write down. But i needed to work through the new stuff, to reflecr back and to realise how close i came to loosing my life again this year. How lucky i am that i not only held on for dear life, but that with all the crap i felt. All the sickness and panic and everything. I managed to finish this semester at school. I managed to survive again, and im 6 months away from reaching my goal of allways being able to help when im needed. I am so proud of myself for getting to where i am today. And im so thankful!!

[howthefuckwasthatusernametaken]

I have such a bad relationship with food

For one it's hard to find good food. Sometimes I eat only because I know I Have to.

Even simple meals somehow get messed up and I've been brought to tears by it multiple times. I don't ask for much. Please. Why would you let the food go out like that. You wouldnt eat that yourself would you.

Then there's the big problem.

Im afraid to eat because I'm terrified of being overweight. I was always very skinny Always. But when I was little I forgot who, but one of my family members said that I'd be fat one day because of all the snacks I ate. And yet, I had a different sibling always tell me that "there are starving kids in Africa" when I hardly eat any of my meal.

I feel so horrible eating more than once a day. It's so hard to fathom eating three actual meals a day. I very rarely get to 1000 calories. Mostly only 500-800. I Drink LOTS of black coffee tho and an apple if I have em.

When I eat I feel so fat. I FEEL fat. Even when I know I'm actually a bit underweight.

I had even gone through a time during highschool where I wouldn't eat anything at all for as long as I could stand it.

I've been working out for about a year now. My brother tells me if I want to gain muscle mass I need to eat more. Not only that but I've had a bit of a scare with my period just recently.

I think I've missed last months. I've never missed a period before. The workouts have helped with the pain but it's also moved them to later and later dates. Im not even eating enough to support myself on the basic level.

I got scared about my fertility. I Want to have kids some day. Not only that but it can cause bone problems and eat away my muscles.

I've always been able to see my bones. My spine and my ribs.my shoulder blades and pointy hip bones.

Despite my hourglass shape and big biddies I don't feel very attractive body wise. I don't feel good enough.

It's just. It's hard to get excited about food. And often times I'm simply Not hungry. I hardly eat and I barely drink any water. I often laugh and ask how I'm still alive, paired with my sleeping habits.

I've been making a real effort to eat more. I still feel horrible and fat even though I'm still underweight. But really I'm in the best shape I ever been. My tiny heart is stronger, I am stronger, muscles bigger. I actually like broccoli now, and Avocado!! Which is good because they're good for you. I didn't like those before.

[tylerwritez]

3:38 p.m. Wednesday June 30 2021

Song reccomendation:

Hey guys. We went to the mall again because it's too hot to go outside. I l1fted a bit but I did buy a blue and purple tie dyed tank top for summer and a Slayer shirt from the hot topic.

We had funsies, me and my friend were chatting and stuff. Not much to say.

I'm feeling sucky now cos we got lunch at the italianos store and I wanted to get Dulce De Leche because what's the point of going to the italianos if ur leaving with NO dulce de leche....?? Its so yummy. My mom said yes but my 11 YEAR OLD SISTER LIKE FLIPPED OVER THE CAN AND READ OFF THE GRAMS OF SUGAR AND CALORIES!!!!! liKE WHAT??? ITS NONE OF UR BUSINESS JESUS!!!!!! thanks for triggering my uh disordered eating...  cos after that I wanted to cry and I just put the can back and remembered how fat I am and I ALMSOT HAD A BREAKDOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORE LIKE IT WAS THE WORST FEELING...

Now I'm worried about my CaLoRieS and jesus it's the worst feeling... thanks sister who is eleven and REALLY MEAN?? she literally calls me short fat and ugly all the time... I think my mom and sister make me the most insecure. My mom is always ragging on what I eat how much I eat what time I eat it's the WORST PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE???? like I'm trying. You think I don't ALREADY feel bad??? Like okay way to shame your HEALTHY BMI (bmi 22) child for... eating a sandwich for lunch? I can't even. Like YEAH IM A BIT CHUBBY BUT IT HURTS MY FEELINGS FOR Y'ALL TO POINT IT OUT COS IVE BEEN INSECURE MY WHOLE LIFE AND I JUST CAN'T EVEN. I CAN'T.

.... but we had fun at the mall. So yeah.

I think I ended up l1fting like, a choker, some masks (for covid), fake nails (for my sister), and some hair bands (since my hair is crazy in the morning and always gets in my eyes)

Also some mentos XD but I won't be eating those since I feel like shitttt thanks family ily ♡ /s no I don't

Also that stuff I was talking about being upset over the divorce? Last night? I'm better now so dw.

.... I'm ravenously hungry right nowwww  but. We are going to ignore that. Because hungry is good. Itz good to be hungry it means you're on the right track and if you stay hungry long enough you DO lose weight. You just gotta stay hungry. ALSO, ALSO IM TRYING TO AVOID BLOATING because if I bloat then I get insecure with no top on,,, and it's hot out, so what I wanna do is keep my tummy flat ALL DAY so I can wear like just my sports bra or smthn... i hate saying that I'm wearing a bra but like thAt's what it is if I called it anything else I'd confuse you.

If you're on this blog for the first time,,, I'm MALE, so like don't just assume I'm a girl.

I feel like I dont pass enough but also I dont really mind? Like people keep calling me a girl but I dont see it? I personally dont think I look feminine??

.... I guess when I'm naked... JAY.

and when I dont bind, and my voice, but that's about it.

Also uhm. I'm kinda a kleptomaniac. I'm gonna check the diagnostic criteria for that because... I sorta l1ft every time I go out. Even if I dont NEED anything. It's not a problem, since I'm not getting caught, but it's still a CRIME and I should try and slow it down a bit.

At least I'm not HAULING as much as I used to.... I would FILL my mfing backpack, bro. I would go nuts. So I gotta try n be more careful so I don't get caught. I take too many risks... sex!!!!, theivery!!!!, and light drugs.

But isnt that what being 15 is about? Idk. I'll post pics of what I l1fted to my l1fting blog after I remove the metadata/exit data (location data) so I don't get doxxed...

Also I dont know if I told yall this but I might get contact lenses :) I think glasses make me look ugly so i dont wanna wear em. Also i hate having em on my face all the time it's just plain annoying.

4:18 p.m. update: okay so we're going home.

My mom is being kinda annoying shes like mocking me... Whateverrrrrrrrr idc. Jay is at his friends house rn, Eden is busy and Erin proabably won't come if Eden doesn't come so I guess I'm resigned to biking alone tonight.... probabaly after I pack all my shit of course.

11:20 a.m. update:

I didn't end up going biking... we took the bottles to the bottle depot, I got 20 bucks, and so did my sister even though she didnt even come :P

I got home and just went online. I was scouring Encyclopedia Metallum for any good active local metal bands that I could potentially see live in a concert in my city! 

I ate okay today, kinda ate more than I intended to before I slept because I was so hungry :| willpower 0 (zero)

Anyways I ate to maintain today :/ which is okay I guess.

I'm a bit upset since my dad was crying about the divorce and like I tried to comfort him and said it's okay to cry and stuff but... MAN THATS PAINFUL.... and like... shouldnt it be the other way around? I hate this. I hate everyone feeling bad. And I hate having to be so grown up.

Oh well... I was always the hound of hell, not the lamb of god.

4:15 a.m. update

Everyone wants to hang out with me XD so I gotta ask about that

Roadtrip soon.

Idk, not much to say.

I'm uh, listening to MUSIC right now. I love music and I wanna play bass again. I also feel very insecure and want to cut my junk off so that's fun.

:P

Goodnight ig

[scottyscott86-blog]

Hungry for forbidden fruit!

My mom raised me and my 2 brothers alone. When I was between 10-14 she used to creep into my bedroom take my pants off when I'd fall asleep. I never understood why she did it until 1 night I played possum. I pretended to be asleep. She got my pants off I felt her gaze just burning throw me. After about 45 seconds of her trying to see if I was awake or asleep I felt her hand touch my underwear. A Few seconds later she pulled my underwear to the side freeing my cock. She ever so slowly stroked me, I guess so she wouldn't wake me. It felt so amazing and just when I thought it couldn't get any better It get super wet and warm! My dick throbbed and grow so big and hard in her mouth and I think she had a feeling I wasn't asleep because she kinda hesitated but after a few 5-10 seconds she just keep sucking it. I exploded in her mouth so fast, but it was so taboo and fucking hot I couldn't help it! She swallowed it like a good girl! After that night though she stopped doing it. I think she was afraid of being caught, but fuck I wanted her to. I never said anything about it to anyone. I wish I would have grew some big balls and not been scared to confront her. I was scared she would say I was dreaming and that I was sick in the head and needed help for thinking she could do that to her son (cause that's the kinda person she is), but I swear my right hand to God strike me down if I'm lying that it happened. And I no she was enjoying it cause I peeked out of 1 eye and she was using 1 hand to stroke and suck me while her other was playing with her big hairy bush pussy. I think she really wanted to climb on top of her baby boys big cock and ride, but she knew for sure that would wake me. I was really hoping she would of climbed on cause I was gonna come alive and grab those ass cheeks and fuck her good and hard like she wanted/needed. She was only wearing a robe and it was open in the front and before she left the bedroom she grabbed my wrist and slowly moved my hand. I had no idea what she was about to do now, but then I felt it. It was a huge bush, but she opened her pussy with her other hand and then 3 of my little fingers were inside her. I'm _ _ years old now and I swear to this day I haven't felt a pussy as wet as she was or as HOT! I knew right then I would never be fully satisfied with sex unless I was thrusting deep and hard into the sweet honey hole which I came out of. Unfortunately to this day it still hasn't happened. Any helpful tips on how to accomplish this goal would be great. Like 6 months after all that happened she got a boob job and asked if I wanted to see them and I was super stooked. I thought this might be my chance to fuck her. She takes me in her bedroom and takes her shirt off and there's her beautiful big gorgeous tits. She then ask if I wanted to touch them and I did. It was amazing. She then puts her shirt back on and leaves the room. I was so frustrated and confused cause I wanted inside her so bad, but she straight cock teased me. I swear there was a reason she showed me though. Why else would she? A normal mother wouldn't show her son her tits after a boob job. No matter how you look at it there would never be an ok reason to show and let your son touch your tits. I think she was hoping those sexy fuckin tits would rock up my big cock again like the night she sucked me and I would grow some balls and tell her i wanted to touch and feel more than just her tits. She probably didn't wanna make the first move worried I might be grossed out and tell on her. She also used to tell me her bf at the time Randy couldn't hit right (couldn't fuck her right) She never bluntly said it like that, but she would say he wasn't very good in the sack. All the signs where there I was just to stupid to see them back then. She's married now so i don't know if she would ever let me now, but I almost wanna just sit down and have a private conversation with her and tell her she was trying to fuck so if she's still craving that sweet forbidden fruit I'll eat her pussy since I owe her for swallowing my load all those years ago so she's good and wet then shove my big dick inside her and it's gonna be heavenly. I no she needs big dick to satisfy her needs cause my daddy was hung like a black man! She also dated a black guy for awhile so Im sure he trained her good! It's super hot knowing that pussy that had you had a Big fucking Black Cock deep inside planting that seed in it. I would love to lick her pussy after a big black cock was inside her and filled her full of cum. I would really love to feel her pussy slide up and down my big cock! Just to scared to tell her. Yea I no its wrong, but it's been happening since the beginning of time. I'M bout to quit being scared and just see what happens. Oh yea she's married to, but I know he isn't fucking her right. He needs a little extra boost if you no what I mean haha. Wish me luck. We only live once. Enjoy it 100% to the fullest. Fuck your mother and see how taboo sex makes your orgasm 500 times more intense and pleasuring. Incest is best put mom to the test! Why did Adam eat the fruit from the forbidden tree? Because the fruit was really his moms pussy and he couldn't resist. After he ate her he fucked her good and hard like a good boy should! Lord I wanna fuck my mother! Please God let me eat of the forbidden fruit also and satisfy my mother's sexual needs! Wish me luck everyone! Hopefully I don't end up in a padded room in a straight jacket cause she wants to pretend it never happened, when it clearly happened (Mom sucking me while I was asleep) We're both adults now so it wouldn't be a very hard secret to keep and her husband is always gone. Here goes nothin. Good luck to all the sons out there who wanna fuck there moms also.