#but im having a literal panic attack and like my heart is beating and im crying writing this email

[thelov3lybookworm]

Journals

Summary: everyone is happy

•○●⛦●○•

Tw: heavyyyy angst, sad lil fic (literally what i named this before i came up with a title), mental health issues, depression, feeling unworthy of love, panic attack, self harm, self hate. thats all i can think of right now, but let me know if i need to add anything

A/n: based on this and this poetry by @gardenofrunar 🤭 you couldnt tell it was me could you pookie?

also, there is not really a bat boy our reader is supposed to be with, so im tagging this as all three of them. there will most probably not be a second part to this, but still, lemme know hat you all think

AND, im not trying to glorify what reader is going through in this fic. if you are going through something, please talk to someone. you are not alone, my loves ❣️

anyways, enjoyyyy!!

It was happening again.

The breathlessness was starting to creep up again on her.

And the worst part wasn't the fact that she felt like she was dying.

It was that she was alone. Again.

No one was coming. No one cared. No one would even realise she was gone until it was too late, and maybe that was a miracle.

Click.

The haze cleared slightly, and gasping for breath, Y/n stood, somehow making it to the stairs leading to her bedroom before her lungs constricted again.

She had no other option as she crumbled on the stairs, the hard wood digging into her sides and thighs.

She could not breathe.

She could not think.

She could not move.

She could not breathe.

A cruel laugh broke through her consciousness, the sound so familiar yet so foreign, Y/n could not help but sob.

You deserve this.

Azriel. It was him, no doubt. But the longer she sat there, other voices started joining in.

First Cassian. Then Mor, Rhysand. Amren.

Feyre, Nesta. Elain.

"Stop." She whispered, her hands shaking as she rose them to her ears, pressing as hard as she could. But no matter how much she tried to ignore it, the clearer the words became.

You deserve this.

You don't deserve us.

It's your own fault.

In an attempt to get away, to get some peace and quiet, she reached out, clutching the stair. The wood grains whispered against her palm, their sound lost to ears filled with taunts and laughter.

Still, she dug in her fingers, her nails screaming in protest, her heart yelling back in a horrific screech, beating loud enough to almost drown out her family.

Almost.

Pulling herself up, she reached out her hand, ignoring the pain as she did her best to haul her dysfunctional body up the hard terrain, trying to make it to her bed before she lost herself fully to the dark depths of her mind, losing all sense of her being.

Somehow, having no recollection of the climb, Y/n collapsed at the landing, her breathing erratic as she stared at the blurry paintings on the wall, gifted to her by Rhysand's mate.

Had they always been this blurry?

In the back of her mind, she realised that they were never blurry. There were just tears in her eyes, but she didn't think too much about that as she crawled forward, miraculously crossing the threshold to her room, the familiar smell of flowers Elain had gifted her last week pulling her out of her misery for a moment, enough to let her get up and stumble into the plush material of her bed before tears again erupted in her eyes.

They then came back, screaming in her ears about how much of a disappointment she was, how she deserved no happiness.

And she agreed with them.

But still, it hurt her heart to hear the people she cared for voice thoughts she only limited to the darkness of night, under the gentle presence of the moonlight.

You don't deserve happiness.

She knew the inevitable onslaught of her self hatred was about to break over her head, knew it was unavoidable and would probably have her moping for days.

Her mind started wandering, which in itself was alarming because as much as she wanted to stop thinking about her miserable life, she knew that any and all thoughts she had at these times would only work against her.

Rhys's tear stained cheeks, his bloodshot eyes and his quiet sobs as he clutched Y/n's hands between both of his, Y/n's soft cooing as she tried her best to soothe his wounds after his mother and sister's death.

As she held him after his return from under the mountain.

This was going to be a long night, she was sure.

Cassian's grumpy self refusing to eat after one of the Illyrians had again bullied him for not being good enough. Y/n's cheeks aching from how hard she was trying not to smile as she tried to convince the overgrown illyrian to eat something.

Azriel's shaky hands as she held onto him after a particularly bad nightmare that usually started keeping him up around the time his hands were burned, the anniversary o the time where an innocent little boy realised that the world was filled with cruelty.

Y/n being the first one to find out about Mor's liking in women and helping her sneak out to meet her lovers.

Y/n dragging gallons of fresh blood to Amren's apartment under the cover of the night when she knew the ancient being hadn't had the time to feast.

Her hands scrambled to find something to tether herself to, to remind her that this was not real and that it would pass. That her family did love her, and that they would never hurt her or want her to think this way of herself.

They would never hurt her the way she hurt herself.

They just wouldn't... would they?

Rhys's wide smile as he admired his mate while she spoke to a grinning Cassian, who in turn turned to Azriel to tease the blushing Illyrian. Mor, giggling over her glass of wine as she mumbled something to Elain, Nesta and Amren conversing in hushed tones next to the window, happiness shining on both their faces.

And Y/n watched on, huddled in her own little corner as she gulped down another glass of champagne, trying to focus on the burn in her throat as the liquor travelled down. Trying not to think of the way her breathing started coming in shorter pants, her lungs constricting in the too small rib cage that were set on killing her.

Trying to ignore the tang of copper in her mouth as she bit her own tongue, not wanting to speak and draw attention to herself, to ask for help because she was too unused to suffering in silence. Her family had always been there, and she had never had to go even a day without their constant nagging. She always had at least one of them guiding her through the worst of her days.

Trying not to think of how no one even glanced up as she exited the room, tears prickling her eyes, feeling like she was nothing but an intruder, watching from outside the warmth of the house, standing knee deep in the cold snow as she tried her best to keep warm by looking at the happy faces of her family, no matter how much she was freezing on the inside.

Her fingers curled around the lumpy material of her comforter, and she pushed forward, trying to ignore the tears that rolled down her warm cheeks and buried her head in the soft fabric.

And then let out the ear piercing scream she had been holding in, uncaring that she had let down the sound shield around her room.

She knew no one was around to hear.

She knew no one would come.

They were all too happy to worry.

Her stomach was grumbling, and she was glad it was because otherwise it would've been the cause for concern, considering she hadn't eaten in almost a day.

She was still so tired and wanted to do nothing but lay in bed all day and cry, but she needed to eat too.

And so here she was, chopping up some vegetables in a daze, not really paying attention despite wanting to focus on something that took her mind off of her thoughts.

It was not easy to stop thinking, so when suddenly the fog in her mind cleared, she glanced down.

The red of her blood was bright, and the longer she stared, the quicker the pain came, but it was only a tiny sting, nothing more than the bite of an ant in the shape of a knife.

She stared, and stared.

And then, she lifted her eyes, her gaze settling on her dagger, unprompted.

She smiled.

Writing was one of the parts of Y/n's responsibilities. Writing a letter to help the relations between the courts. A report for the high lord.

It was one of the things that broke her out of her own mind's torture, one of the things that made her feel like she wasn't entirely useless.

So here she was, just scribbling away senseless words in her journal, knowing she would hide it away before anyone saw it. Saw the blood stains.

For the first time in weeks, she was smiling, no tears to be found in her eyes as she lay on her stomach on the bed, her legs in the air behind her as she began doodling little flowers in the corner of the page, her inkpot next to her and her dagger in her other hand.

She went to dip in her feather pen in the ink, frowning a little as it created spots of ink on the crumpled paper, mixing with the dark red liquid that still dripped slowly from her fingers, little rivulets running down from her wrist.

As she continued, a tap on her mental walls had her pausing, and after a brief conversation with Rhys, she got up, closing her journal and beginning to clean the cuts on her wrist and around the journal and then donning a flowy, simple white gown.

It wasn't long before a knock sounded at her door, and she hurried to open it to find Cassian standing on her front porch, smiling.

"Hey Y/n, Rhys asked me to pick you up-"

Y/n nodded. "Yes I know, let me just grab my things and then we can go."

He shrugged, leaning against the doorframe.

She ran up the stairs and to her bedroom, grabbing the little bag she had put all her pens and previous reports into, deciding to carry them with her just in case.

She hurried back out within a few moments, but she saw that Cassian had moved, standing near the gates. Which was suspicious, but not too alarming as she stepped onto the porch.

"Let's go."

Before she shut the door Y/n turned and glanced around the house for the last time. Why, she didn't know. But she couldn't shake the feeling in her gut that something was wrong.

And she had known to always trust her gut.

But she turned around, locking the door before leaving.

Not realising her journal was missing from the table.

"I really don't want to pressure you too much Y/n, so if you don't want to be a part of this research, I understand-"

"Rhys, this is no burden. I'm actually honoured you even considered me for this project."

His brows furrowed, his smile turning confused. "What are you talking about Y/n? You're one of the smartest people I know. Of course you are included-" he trailed off, his eyes filling with understanding. "How have you been Y/n?"

Y/n blinked, pretending not to understand what he meant by that. Of course Rhys knew she struggled with feeling worthy of her family, and of course he made that connection.

"I've been good, Rhys." Y/n mumbled, an easy grin on her face as if Rhys's concern was ridiculous.

"Have you had any recent episodes-"

"Guess what I found!"

He paused, both their heads turning to where Cassian's booming voice floated through the cracked door.

Y/n's whole body ran cold, and before she could even question the reaction of her body to something that wouldn't have concerned her before, she was stumbling out the door, following Cassian's voice to the sitting room, where everyone else was gathered.

Cassian was grinning as he explained to them how he had gone to pick Y/n's up from her house, and how he found-

Her secret diary.

Y/n's eyes widened, her legs refusing to move as her gaze locked on the book Cassian held in his hand.

"Oh, look, she's here too!" He turned to her, his expression carefree and inviting. "Never knew you had a diary Y/n. What will I find if I read through it? Your secret lover's name? His-"

"Cass." Y/n warned, finally getting herself to move forward as he danced back, his hands beginning to crack open the book.

"Will I find your secret fantasies-"

He stopped dead in his tracks, all the emotions gone from his face as he stared at the page he had opened, his features hard. Y/n waited with bated breath, her head turning to gauge everyone's reaction.

Mor sat with Nyx in her lap, bouncing him as she glanced between Y/n and Cassian. Feyre and Azriel exchanged confused glances before Azriel stood, stalking towards Cass.

Panicked, Y/n jumped forward, but before her hand could wrap around her journal, he pulled away, face pale.

"What is this?"

"None of your business."

Azriel had stopped, his eyes wide as he stared at Y/n.

That's when Y/n realised he had smelled the blood she left on the pages.

Damn it.

Y/n stepped back towards the exit as she felt all the eyes on her, panic starting to dig its claws in her gut and begin its ascent up her throat as the shadows curled around Azriel's ear and his eyes went to her wrist, covered by the long sleeves of her dress.

Y/n turned to find Rhys standing in the doorway, his eyes filled with tears.

"Why?"

She glanced once at everyone, tears starting to fill her own eyes, her face flushing in embarrassment, mad that she had started crying over nothing, and pushed past Rhys, running towards the front door.

"Y/n!"

They will be mad.

You deserve it.

Y/n fled the river house, ignoring the concerned looks thrown her way by the people on the streets as she ran straight to her house.

They hate you.

The door slammed shut behind her as she leaned against it, gasping for breath as her lungs started contracting painfully, refusing to let her breathe.

The breathlessness was starting to creep up again on her.

It was happening again.

Acotar Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686

@cassie6392 @kennedy-brooke @tele86 @miluiel1

@hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter @piceous21

@mybestfriendmademe @saltedcoffeescotch @eve175 @starsinyourseyes

@starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @byyalady @lilah-asteria

@girlswithimagination @gardenofrunar @girlswithimagination @sunnyspycat

@artists-ally @riddlesb1tch @milswrites @berryzxx

Azriel Taglist: @darthdumbasss @foreverrandomwritings @azrielsmate3 @celestialend

@stqrgirlies-blog @tele86 @bakananya @xyzmeh

@st4r-girl-official @caraaaaugh @nacho-nat @allllium

@fandomarchiveilyd @nickishadow139

Cassian Taglist: @moonlwghts @samslittlespoon @nickishadow139

[sugawhaaa]

hi love how are youuu <3<3

So, as my p1harmony writer of trust, i shall confess that i am in desperate need of jongseob content. And maybe youve already seen this, but this. This makes me *feral*.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3sYJK3voX5/?igsh=MWx1eGFtcG9yNXR3Zw==

I dont know who decided that its a good idea to put im in a crop top and pants like that, but *lord*, they deserve an award. Anyway, you probably know what im hinting at, and in case you dont, man's looking *tasty*

Pls whatever you can come up with is fine i will literally mention you in my will because I am actually deceased right now thank youuuu mwah<3 have a good one and thx for listening to my random jongseob rant byeeeee<3<3

JONGSEOB ONE-SHOT

"I already know how it feels,"

Warnings::none (?)

Genre:: friends to lovers, little bit suggestive

Pairing:: bsf!jongseob x fem!reader

A/N:: sorry this is sooo shorttt it could've been longer but I feel like for this prompt it's quite good.

Request:: hiii I'm good ty ₍^ >ヮ<^₎ .ᐟ.ᐟ thank you for all the compliments (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) and dw I am down bad for Jongseob this era too 👌mwah mwah ₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ₎ ur request made my day and I'd listen to your rants any day (╯✧▽✧)╯

You turned off the shower and pushed the curtain aside. You stepped out of the tub and dried off your body and hair. You did some basic skin care like a cleanser, toner, and moisturizer before wrapping your warm towel around your body. Your hair still dripping a bit. You opened the door from your bathroom and walked to the main area of your hotel to see Jongseob. You blushed as you stared at him, water dripping from your hair.

"Sorry..." he says softly with pink cheeks. His brown turtle neck sweater swallowing him. You sigh.

"It's fine," you chuckle and go over to your bedside. Jongseob carefully scoots over to you, his headphones that are wrapped around his neck still playing some Lofi beats. As much as he told himself he had no romantic attraction to you his eyes were still glued to your exposed skin and wet hair which made his heart flutter. You used your handheld mirror to brush out your hair and through it, you could see jongseobs curious and filthy eyes.

"You see something?" You said in a teasingly seductive tone.

"N-No!" Jongseob jumped and looked away. You giggled at him with a smile.

"Are you sure~" you teased further as you leaned closer to him, putting your mirror down. At first he looked away from you but after a moment he looked back at you. His eyes went from your face to your chest and a twinkle could be seen in them. "Don't act like I didn't see that little glance and smirk!" You say as you hit him.

"Hey! It was just a second," he tried to justify himself as he moved away from your violent hands. You laughed.

"How would you feel if I stared at your private parts?!" You crossed your arms jokingly.

"I already know how it feels," he said with a light smirk. Your heart paused before you realized what he meant. Now what do you say? I mean it was just because of your curiosity and to be honest, sometimes you just couldn't help it because I mean it's pretty uh prominent... "You're blushing," he teased as his hands crept closer to you.

You stammered as you tried to come up with some excuse or explanation. His fingers walked up your arm slowly. "Yesterday when we were at the hotel pool, the day before that at the food court in the mall, the day before that when we were on the car drive to our trip your eyes were just so glued to..." he chuckled as his headphones played Britney spears quietly. Your face may as well be pure red. You shook your head but Jongseob grabbed your chin and kissed you. "We're leaving in twenty minutes to go to the buffet. Be ready," he smiled before standing up and heading to the door. Leaving you a flustered and confused mess, your heart racing...

Meanwhile, Jongseob outside your room was having a panic attack. Did he say too much? Did he cross the line? Did he touch you uncomfortably? Was he being too cocky? Oh he was just freaking out.

[konigsblog]

simon riley as a dad.

a/n; in this, simon is a single dad. please leave requests in my inbox, they're always open !! will make a part two if requested !!!

second photo isn't mine, message me the creators name and i'll update it ☀️

simon was definitely nervous to become a father. the thoughts of becoming like his own plagued his mind, stress forming as the due date came closer.

his beautiful baby girl was born. wipsy blonde hair, eyes lile her mothes, a birthmark on her chest, above her heart. he couldn't help himself, sobbing whilst he held his newborn, his little girl immediately calming down as soon as she was placed on his hands, eyes widening and staring at him with adoration and love, raising her small hand to his cheek.

the only person that new about simon's daughter was price, a man he could trust. it wasn't that he couldn't trust johnny or kyle, it would be easier to tell price as simon himself viewed price as a father. showing him the polaroid photos of his girl, smiling underneath the mask while talking about her.

it's her first day if school, and simon is unsure if he can let her go. he watches as the other adults send their kids off, hugging them goodbye whilst they skipped into school. his eyes glistening, becoming glossy as he held her tight, rocking her from side to side, forcing his tears back before kissing her forehead.

- “dad, i met a boy in my class!!” she yells out, excited to have made a new friend. the word ‘boy’ lingers in his mind. boy, oh god.

helping her with her homework after school seems boring and uninteresting, but to simon, everything about his daughter is exciting and interesting, it's his favourite part of the day; waking up and greeting her, watching as she scoffs down her breakfast, laughing and giggling with him.

i think by the times johnny and kyle figure out simon has a daughter, she's probably be around four. they literally yelled, unsurprisingly and exactly how he thought they'd react. rolling his eyes, yet a smirk hidden under his skull mask. - “the fuck do you mean you have a daughter??”

she definitely looks up to him. talks about him constantly with her guy friend. mentions that she wanted to do what he does for work, causing simon to spit his tea our and nearly have a panic attack at the thought. curling up to her, letting her rest her head on his chest as she took an afternoon nap after school, playing with her dirty blonde hair.

soap meeting her for the first time was definitely something.. he literally was jumping up and down the entire time, launching himself at the poor little girl infront of him, sobbing and whining because she didn't know who this freak was.

calmed down after simon explained that he was his colleague. price scolding him, simon glaring, kyle trying his absolute hardest not to start crying from laughter. - “oh my god, you're simons daughter!?!” johnny screams.

played games with kyle. beat him every single time - got accused of cheating.

price is calm, probably met her before the rest, letting her sit next to him while she talks about the her friend. raising his eyebrow to simon teasingly as she mentions the same boy, laughing at his expression, angered and terrified of a four year old - probably threatens to beat him up before reminded that was a kid.

as the future comes, she gets a boyfriend, and unexpectedly, and unsurprisingly, it's that same boy. literally is gritting his teeth and lecturing her. - “careful, kid. i know you think you love him, but he could be a shit person, 'alright? i'm not gonna let some boy hurt and ruin my daughter.” - “dad, im literally five.”

johnny becomes close with her (after attacking her) letting her out make-up on him. eyeshadow on his cheeks, lip stick on his eyes, false eyelashes on his lips. and kyle has a botched manicure, some nails placed on his palm.

- i can't be bothered adding anything more since it's nighttime, and i'm pretty tired 😵‍💫 tell me your thoughts and opinions ! :)

- will make a part two if wanted and requested.

[inuyashaluver]

Okay I think I need more MLT fics because that was too cute for me to handle at 7 AM

nail day - maya le tissier

maya le tissier x reader

description: in which you and your girlfriend have your monthly nail session, resulting in silly arguments and timers being set

warnings: nothing i think, fluffy!!

a/n: your wish is my command, lovely! IM FEEDING EVERYONE MAYA CONTENT WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, I LOVE HER ❤️

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you and your girlfriend, maya find it hard to be apart from each other. the familiarity of one another’s presence was considered a necessity at this point.

a main contributor to your major codependency is the fact that you both play for england and manchester united. there wasn’t really an option to be separated and that was the way you liked it.

—

you and maya originally started dating when you both signed for brighton & hove in 2018, you were the same age and just stuck together like glue, your friendship short lived until you both started flirting shamelessly with each other.

through endless pining and yearning over numerous dates, you began to date when maya made the first move.

it was a cold day and maya had texted you that chilly morning that she had a little surprise for you. when she came to pick you up for training, she stood at your front door with a warm drink in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other.

“what’s all this for?” you smile, hugging the girl tightly, taking the items quickly before ushering her inside your flat.

“oh just because, look how they spelt your name on the cup” she giggles nervously, fiddling with her hands as she avoids eye contact with you.

your eyebrows furrow but you look at the cup nonetheless, you look down to see maya’s handwriting on the cup.

‘girlfriend ♡’ followed by a little ‘please x’ written under it. the smile on your face was something maya would never forget, it made her heart beat so fast, honestly feeling like a panic attack.

you put your cup down with a big smile and immediately jump on the girl, she catches you by your thighs and laughs brightly when you kiss her cheek repeatedly.

“i’d love to be your girlfriend! you’re so cute” you coo, she smiles up at you and wraps her arms around your waist to give you a tight hug. “you’re the cutest” she mumbles into your shoulder, pressing a gentle kiss there while she holds you to her.

everything felt right in that moment, like a missing piece of you was finally complete. both of you knew, this was special.

—

when you and maya signed to manchester united, you moved in together in a brand new flat, creating a home of your own together. a perfect reflection of the two of you in every nook and cranny.

one thing you and maya agreed on wholeheartedly was that spending time together outside of football related activities was incredibly important to your relationship.

whether it was enjoying a night in or just going out for a stroll, you both loved that quality time of just being together without a care in the world.

one of your favourite activities to do with each other was to get your nails done. every single one of your teammates at united as well as england knew how important nail day was to you and maya.

it was a time for both of you to just sit and chat with a little pampering, you would both make an effort to match in some way. whether it was the same colour or same little design, both of you would be walking out of that nail salon with matching smiles and nails.

did you get teased for it? oh god, like no tomorrow but you and maya loved it more than anything. a subtle yet extremely loud ode to your relationship.

something else you and maya also loved about nail day was your nightly back scratching session. sure it sounds weird but you and maya literally couldn’t get enough of it, becoming part of your night routing no matter where you were.

so much so, it blended into your everyday lives, the gentle scratch of nails offering a comfort the both of you couldn’t explain, it was familiar, it was home.

—

you and maya finally had a free weekend, both of you excited for nail day. the previous day in training, some of the girls were asking what you’re matching set will be this time, something maya took great pride in and asked for opinions to everyone that was willing.

“do you think red or white?” maya ponders to ella and millie, the girls look at your girlfriend with amused smiles as she slings an arm over your shoulder.

“hm, red goes with the kit” ella points out, millie nods along with the girls words. maya thinks about it for a moment, “true, but england camp is in a couple days and we won’t have time to change it so if it’s white then it’s universal” maya explains, at your girlfriend’s seriousness, you begin to giggle.

maya immediately looks down at you with a smile before she realises you’re mocking her, “baby, this isn’t a joke” maya huffs, “i know, lovey” you nod with a sympathetic pout before kissing her cheek affectionately, causing the girl to melt into your touch with pink cheeks.

“but if we’re wearing the away kit, you could also get blue as well” millie informs, this conversation was genuinely so serious and it was so endearing.

maya sighs, she’s frustrated. “shit, you’re right,” she tucks you closer into her side as you all conversed.

“we’ll figure it out, maya baby, don’t stress” you chuckle, reaching up to graze your nails on the back of her hand to ease her worries, maya looks at you and nods before giving you a quick kiss on your lips.

—

you both ended up getting both blue and white nails, maya gives you a satisfied smile when you both interlock hands after walking out of the salon. you both had the time of your life just chatting and enjoying each other’s company while getting your nails done.

when you both got back to your house, you both binge watched a bunch of movies while packing your bags for camp, which was coming up the next day.

giggling and getting distracted by maya wanting your attention. managing to tug you in her lap to lazily make out, you give into her for a couple minutes before you realise what she was doing.

“maya” you scold, she smirks at you while she squeezes your hips, “yes, beautiful?” she kisses your lips sweetly and you physically have to push her away when she keeps chasing your lips for more contact.

“the bags” you point out with a smile, she groans and rests her forehead against your collarbone, nuzzling into you while you remind her what she needed to pack, she tended to be quite forgetful when it came to packing her bag. (you think she does it on purpose to make you do it - spoiler, she does)

“you’re not listening, are you?” you huff, feeling the girl kiss your neck gently, “you sound very pretty” she mumbles into your skin, moving to kiss your jaw and giving you a teasing kiss on the corner of your mouth.

you shake your head at her amusingly, “you’re impossible” you whisper against her lips, kissing her quickly before hopping off her, receiving numerous complaints as you packed the girl’s bag for her. she gave you a big, dizzying kiss as a thank you so you weren’t complaining.

that night as soon as you got to bed, maya gives you a devious grin and you already knew what she wanted. she pushed you to lie flat on the bed while she peeled your shirt slightly upwards.

you let out a sigh of relief when the girl gently rakes her nails over the skin of your back. she kisses your cheek as she scratches your back, smiling at the way you completely melted under her touch. it was incredibly intimate for the both of you, something that you both considered your love language for each other.

after about five minutes, you and maya swap, she hums happily as your nails graze her warm skin. “i love you” she exhales, you kiss her back quickly, “i love you” you giggle at her progressively getting sleepier by the second.

you take your hand off her for a second and she immediately springs up to look at you with an offended expression. “hey! that was way shorter than what i did for you!” maya accuses, throwing you a half-hearted scowl as you look at her with wide eyes.

“it was the same amount!” you laugh, she shakes her head instantly, sitting up to face you in the bed. “no, baby, sorry but you’re wrong,” maya tutts, crossing her arms over her chest as you giggle at her.

“don’t laugh, it’s not funny!” she whines, you nod and place a hand on her thigh, your nails gently scraping the skin there.

you watch her visibly soften for a second before she points an accusatory finger at you, “don’t try and weasel your way out of this, missy” she scoffs, you laugh brightly at her and you can see her fight a smile.

“i’m not laughing” maya grits and rolls her eyes, you can see the corners of her mouth twitching as you laugh at her. “hm, i think you’re smiling though” you grin, moving closer to her and poking her cheek, she moves her head to bite your finger and you yelp as she almost catches it between her teeth.

“nope, that’s it’, we’re setting a timer” maya hurriedly grabs her phone from her bedside table and puts on a five minute timer, looking at you expectantly when she lays back down. “fine” you groan, watching your girlfriend become a puddle under your touch.

after the timer went off, she reset it and you immediately protest. “maya! no, it’s my turn!” you whine, the girl looks at you in mock confusion, “what, no? it’s still mine, look” she shows you her screen and you can see she reset the timer.

you narrow your eyes at her but give in easily, you both would do anything for each other and you both knew it.

“the deal is that you scratch your girlfriend’s back, (y/n/n), be serious!” maya exclaims after scratching your back after her 3 turns, moving to tackle you to the bed, you both lay on your sides giggling and smiling as you just look at each other. the amount of love you held in your eyes told you both everything and more.

she grins lazily at you when you push some stray hairs out of her face, she pulls you closer to her and instinctively scratches your back.

you smile and kiss her sweetly, returning the gesture and falling asleep easily that night.

—

when you both arrive to camp, you’re immediately asked about the results of nail day, maya boasts immediately and shows off to everyone. even showing the media team which has shown to be a new tradition in the arrival videos.

long story short, nail day is essential for both of you and everyone knows it.

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you know the drill - pretend it’s you! ily lessiiii

liked by ellatoone and 44,232 others

mayaletissier: don’t let your girlfriend take advantage of you just because she’s cute and pretty, kids

view all comments

yourname: you don’t scratch someone’s back for two seconds and suddenly you’re taking advantage of them

↳ mayaletissier: i still love you

↳ yourname: i’m a saint because i love you more

yourname: you got way more scratches then i did!

↳ mayaletisser: i did not!

↳ yourname: 30 minutes worth!?

↳ mayaletissier: have i ever told you how beautiful you are

↳ yourname: minx

lionesses: these nails were a definite favourite!!

[gaysindistress]

This is self indulgent and I don’t care.

Enjoy my pain:

Panic attacks; racing heart beats,breathing too fast, the feeling of drowning but you can’t swim any longer, and the fear. The symptoms of anxiety are not new to him but nonetheless they take him by surprise.

He calls me every time. Whether on purpose or not, he calls me every time they sneak up. He tries to tell me that they’re getting better but I can hear the shallowness and breathlessness in his voice. He tries to chuckle to cover it but i hear it every time.

“Hey.”

I smile to myself as I hear his voice crackle through the phone, “hi, bubba.”

“How..how are you?”

He’s trying so hard to make normal conversation regardless of the fact that it’s 6 am and we both know he’s been up for hours.

“I’m good, how are you?”

Hesitation is never a good sign.

“I…well,” he starts before stopping to let out a shaky breath, “I’m out front.”

“I’ll be there in a second,” I tell him but don’t hang up. When he’s like this any time alone gives him too opportunities to overthink and spiral. I don’t talk but hearing me moving around and breath is enough until he can see me.

Only when I open the door and am able to see him do I end the call.

“Hi,” he says with an awkward small smile.

“Hi,” I repeat as I step back and allow him to come in. He pushes off his hood and takes off his running shoes, evidence that he tried to run from his anxiety but wasn’t successful. I watch him and offer out my hand when he straightens back up.

Bucky glances down at my hand and then to my face, waiting for me to back away or otherwise reject him. This is another thing he does every time; he gives me the chance to take back my open arms and unconditional support.

I wiggle my fingers at him as a gentle “come on” and he reaches for it with his metal hand but pauses. I imagine if he could, he would never touch me with it out of fear that he will hurt me. I also imagine that he wants nothing more than to be able to embrace me without restraints so I take his hand before he can pull away.

I grip the freezing metal hand in my own two and pretend to blow on it to warm it up. He lets out a half hearted chuckle, “what are you doing?”

“Warming you up. You’re freezing,” I state as if it’s the obvious thing in the world and that seems to release some of the tension in his shoulders.

“Today we’re buying you more layers,” I tell him as I lead him towards my room, “if you’re going to go out in the literal snow, you will be wearing a sufficient amount of layers.”

He laughs again and this time it’s more genuine than before.

We both slide under the worn and loved covers on my bed, lying so that we facing one another.

“I love you,” I whisper to him as I trace the lines of his face. It’s an unspoken understanding between us that he doesn’t have to say it back. He shows it in the ways he chooses and words is not his favored method.

“I am safe,” I start and he repeats.

“I am free.”

“I am grounded, centered, and stable.”

“I am supported.”

“I have the power to control my emotions.”

“I choose to think positive thoughts.”

“I am strong, resilient, and capable.”

“I am not my past.”

“I am loved.”

“I am worthy.”

“I belong here.”

“I have the power to choose my future.”

“I free myself from the fear of the unknown.”

“I am safe.”

“I am free.”

“What Im feeling is temporary.”

“I choose peace.”

“I am not my past.”

“I am loved.”

“I am free.”

“I am the most handsome man in the world and I have the most amazing friend ever,” I sneak in there but he catches it and laughs with his entire body. It rumbles through his chest and lightly shakes the bed, vibrating through me too.

My own smile turns into a fit of laughter and we’re both breathless from our joy as we try to catch our breath.

“Thank you,” he whispers when he able to speak and scoots closer to me.

“Bubba,” I say as sadness clutches at my heart, “I’ve told you a thousand times that you don’t need to thank me.”

While no words come out, his eyes say it all; he needs to because otherwise he’ll feel like he’s taking advantage of me.

I press a kiss to the knuckles on his left hand and nod for him to turn over. He does and I slide one arm under his head to play with his hair while the other slips under his left arm. With my arm across his chest, I lace our fingers together and hold him tightly against my body as his relaxes.

We stay like this as he finds comfort in my touch and allows himself to be cared for. I continue to run my fingers through his hair and twist the short strands long after his breathing has become heavy and rhythmic. I keep my tight hold long after his has loosened and sleep has taken him.

I refuse to stop loving him even if he wouldn’t know.

I refuse to stop because I know he wouldn’t.

[stormyoceans]

I'm squealing like a gecko before an attack. Have you seen how they look at each other with those little softy smiles?? My heart is beating somewhere in my liver because of this. and the English Neil is so so… ugh 🫠

LEGITIMATELY ACTUALLY SINCERELY LITERALLY SERIOUSLY GENUINELY TRULY HONEST TO GOD FR GOING RABID AT THE THINGS CHARLES AND MICHEAL ARE DOING WITH THEIR FACES WHILE PORTRAYING THESE CHARACTERS

there’s just something so soft and tender and vulnerable and tentative in the way neil and xiao hai look at each other from time to time, eyes full of wonder and lips pulled into a fond smile before quickly turning away, almost as if they were afraid to fall, which is why they’re allowing themselves to think about the other and smile as much as they want only when they are not together. but here’s the difference between them that makes me gnaw at the furniture and claw at the walls of my apartment: while xiao hai tends to avoid looking at neil too much in general, when xiao hai is not looking neil looks SO. MUCH.

LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!

during neil’s panic attack xiao hai told him ‘look at me’ and neil really said ‘well don’t mind if i do’ like you’d think neil was the one meeting his idol again after years and getting to work with him instead of the other way around ✋😭 (also i think charles tu should be in jail for the endless wonder and sheer longing on his face but let’s not go there)

THEY ARE BOTH JUST SO FOND SMITTEN DELIGHTED IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER AND THEY DON'T EVEN REALIZE IT YET IM ABOUT TO THROW MYSELF DOWN A WELL AND DROWN IN 5 CM OF WATER ABOUT IT

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

(WARNING FOR MENTION OF PANIC ATTACK)

whenever i try to pick my favorite hatchetfield show i always struggle to pick between Nerdy Prudes or TGWDLM (ILY BLACK FRIDAY UR JUST NOT MY ALL TIME FAV BUT YOU ARE MY SECOND HIGHEST MOST LISTENED TO STARKID SOUNDTRACK ON SPOTIFY) (trail to oregon is first for anyone wondering)

cause like tgwdlm was my first ever starkid show, it got me into everything. not to mention hiw funny it is and how the MUSIC SLAPS. im literally ALWAYS listening to inevitable.

but nerdy prudes must die has an emotional importance to me. the day I watched it was the day I had to sing a song for a christmas vocal showcase. I ended up having a massive panic attack and didn’t do the show. it was the first performance of mine i had ever had to cancel. the only thing that truly made me feel better was the fact that i had watched npmd early in the day.

My Dad took me to the mall to try and cheer me up and i spent the entire time talking about npmd and how much i loved it. He bought me a giant plushie hamster that I ended up naming “Richie” and i’m literally leaning on it as I type this.

so even if i can’t decide what’s my all time favorite hatchetfield show, i know that npmd will always hold a special place in my heart. (BUT NOTHING CAN BEAT TTO)

~~~

[cutecherrygirl]

Enhypen reaction

When you fangirl over Stray kids 😘

Im sorry if the picture is scary, I thought it was cute

Jake

-he heard you scream from the other room and rushed to you.

- "WHAT HAPPENED!? ARE YOU OKAY!?" He screams and you jump out of bed scared "WHY!? IS SOMEONE HERE?" you looked around in panic "BABE, YOU SCREAMED" he said relaxed now that he sees it was fake alert

-"oh.." you giggle "I mean..i did get attacked" you said and he raised an eyebrow "what?" You start acting silly and turn around to face the wall "Hyunjin attacked me, he's just so handsome I almost got a heart attack".

-jake just stood there watching you and not knowing how he should react or what he should do. He let you let it all out before hugging you and petting your head "same babe... same."

Heesung

- He heard you shout and immediately went to you and asked you what happened.

- "what's wrong? Are you okay? Why did you shout?"

-he looked so worried 😭

- then you answered "Seungmin's voice is so fucking angelic I literally cannot" you said in the most dramatic way possible .

-he scoffed but agreed with what you said.

-then he mumbled sadly "i have a nice voice too"

Jay

-he heard you scream from your room and immediately run to you in panic only to find you in the corner watching a video while giggling.

- "babe?" He called you and you turned Around "Changbin looks so cool while rapping!" You said and showed him the video.

- he sighed annoyed "yeah, he does. But I'm cool too." He said not noticing that he is pouting.

- you noticed his pout and decided to tease him.

- "if Changbin comes up to me and asked me to marry him, I gladly will."

-he glared at you, still pouting. You wanted to laugh your ass off.

- "his big muscles and rap skills are just to die for"

-you said while looking at Changbins picture and Jay is now getting angry

- "stop it, im getting jealous"

- you laugh and hug him "baby, you know no one can replace you" you smiled and kissed his cheek.

-he smiled too and hug you back "i know 😜"

Sunghoon

- he saw you looking at something on your phone.

- he peeked and saw you looking at Lee know's photo while mumbling things like:

- "his eyes are so pretty" and "he has the cutest nose oh my god" "His sharp jawline" "oh look at that lips" "so handsome".

- "I have cute nose too! And sharp jawline! And my eyes are pretty!!! And im handsome as well!"

-he walked out and you can see him pouting, that made you feel bad.

- but when you saw him in the mirror, admiring his handsome face, you changed your mind.

- "no one can beat Lee Minho in Beauty competition babe, not even you."

- you said smirking when you heard him gasp.

Sunoo

- "Awww! Look at Felix! He is such a cutie" you said as you show Sunoo a video of Felix doing Aegyo.

-he side eyed you and said "im cuter"

- "tsk, he does Aegyo better."

- you said that to tease him

- "i can practice Aegyo to be better!" He said defending himself.

- "his freckles are so cute too"

- you said loving his reaction

- "I-I-"

- "and his deep voice is so sexy"

- you added which Made sunoo pout.

- "I can do Aegyo and Im sexy too!"

- he looked down and you bursed out laughing.

- "awww, you're being cute right now"

- I was born cute, bitch"

Jungwon

-"AHHHHHHHHHHH"

- He fell down from the chair he was sitting on when heard you shout, Poor baby was so shocked 😭

- heading to you to see you watching Skz code episode.

- "Jungwon, dont you love when Chan speaks in English?"

-you squealed

-"Yes, Chan Hyung has very good English skills but you dont have to shout so Loud!"

- he said with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

- "well, im sorry..i cant help myself from fangirling over him, he is just so cool."

- you defend yourself

- some fangirls dont shout their heart out while watching skz code episodes.

- he said annoyed.

- "you're such a joy killer tsk, if I could marry him, that would be great."

- "as if he would ask you to be his wife."

-he saud rolling his eyes and walking out of the room

- he's just acting jealous cuz he never saw you fangirl over him like that 😭

Ni-ki

- you were watching Han's rap videos while whispering things like "he is such a good rapper, look at them hands tho, I wanna know what hand care routine he has"

- he came from the kitchen after hearing you whisper like an idiot.

- " why are you whispering?" He asked "because my throat is sore from screaming yesterday"

- "why were you screaming?" He asked confused

-"because Han is literally the best rapper in the world, and he is so cute and sweet"

-Ni-ki smiled "yeah, I definitely Agree" he sat next to you and layed his head on your shoulder

-you both ended up watching Han rap.

[nymphfette]

btw- I’ve been doing better with my health 💖 autoimmune issues/thyroid issues and pcos all made extremely worse by stress- ptsd and also the other way around. Just a vicious cycle I was in. Still am in but have made a lot of progress since I was first dealing with absolute daily hell that started about a year or so ago.

Oh and I was also diagnosed with agoraphobia. Ive had PTSD for a few years now but the recent health issues obviously made it worse and so I developed agoraphobia :))))) it got so bad, I would barely leave my house (my safe safe) for longer than an HOUR at time, once a day. Couldn’t be on a car ride for longer than 10 minutes without freaking out, hyperventilating, heart beating out of my chest, sweating my ass off and sometimes puking my guts out. I was terrified to get in a car and if I had to go somewhere that I knew was a long car ride (10 mins or more) id have such a hard time. And there were times were I’d be doing alright on a longer ride, like 30 mins and I’d think I was like 20 mins in and there was only 10 more minutes I had to go and I’d look at google maps and see there was 15 minutes instead of 10 minutes…..I’d genuinely lose it. Over 5 extra minutes. Genuinely freak out. It was hell. It was no way to live.

I still am struggling with it but I’ve been trying really hard to get better. Health wise- I have a lot of it under control. I barely have flare up attacks anymore. My hypothyroidism is in check. My pcos symptoms are still a bit haywire but I’m working on that, the priority was the autoimmune and thyroid and the just constant inflammation all over. Everywhere. My wbc is only about 1000 over normal right now which is Iike nothing compared to what it was and is a huge improvement. Medications and supplements I’m on have been a big help along with the autoimmune protocol diet- it’s a VERY strict diet and I did it for a few months and once it helped get things in check, I was able to slowly introduce a more “normal” diet into my life but still keeping away from gluten and added sugars, too much starch and too much dairy.

So yeah my health health has gotten a lot better and I’ll continue to work on it keep it that way. My mental health is better as well- like, now I can go out for like 3 hours a day without losing my mind and can do like 30 minute car rides before I start to have bad panic attacks and agoraphobia attacks. I know that still sounds bad but compared to what it was…… barely could do 10 mins…. 5 mins being the preferred… it’s a huge improvement. Still have bad PTSD/Agoraphobia attacks here and there and My autistic burnout and sensory issues and then like general anxiety is still very high but again, it has been improved and I’m continuing to work on it.

I’ve been given the okay to go back to work but work from home job like I’ve done before. I can’t work outside my home right now without putting all the exposure therapy and DBT and work and etc etc at risk, I’m not ready for that yet, and I agree with my dr. That will come in time.

SO, the past month I’ve been looking for remote/work from home positions and man, I’ve been having a rough time, and before had health issues and stuff and was off work and stuff a year or so ago, I had lots and lots of experience and my resume for the telehealth and benefits customer support field is great. I know I’m a great candidate, have great references and I never ever had an issue finding a job before, let alone getting an interview. I know the past few months I’ve been hearing ppl in my country Canada especially talk about how hard it is to get a job right now and man, they weren’t kidding were they?

It sucks I have a limit on what I can do right now…..and I really want to get back to work not only to help myself and get back into a normal life and routine but also bc financially, the income I receive through disability literally covers my BASE BASE BASE needs and that’s it, and I mean that’s fucking it. Of course im thankful I have that bc when I was waiting for it when I first got really sick, that was not easy. That was hell but it would be nice to have a LITTLE bit of pocket money to be able to buy a couple things for myself now and then, you know? I can’t even get my skincare products for my skincare routine I’ve had for years and years anymore :((( & they weren’t crazy expensive products lmao. All of the products in the routine probably totalled like hmm MAX $80 and I’d only need to replace them like every 3 months??? So yeah lol. & also, it’s fall now and I need a new fall coat and I can’t even go to the thrift store and get like a $30 peacoat (which is what I want lol- I love my peacoats) SO YEAH, I WANT A JOB AGAIN!!! & working in the contact center field for telehealth or benefits, was a decent job. Perfectly suited to my needs and even more so now, so yeah- I hope I’ll be hearing back from someone soon!!!

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

AXEL‼️ today i almost shit myself at school(not actually)

I hate the first day back. my spanish teacher loves to call on me bc she knows im not confident with my spanish and that i have a fear of public speaking (i dont even know why i’ve been fluent since i was 5💀) SO SHE LIKES TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT AND CALL ON ME TO READ THE LONGEST PARAGRAPH IN WHATEVER TEXTBOOK, ARTICLE OR LITERALLY WHATEVER WE’RE READING 😭 ITS LIKE SHE’LL LET EVERYONE ELSE READ THE SHORT STUFF AND THEN SHE’LL MAKE ME READ WAY MORE THAN EVERYONE ELSE AND IM JUST LIKE?? i get that its to “help build confidence” and shit like that but is it really helping if her “helping me build confidence” made me have a panic attack last year? I DONT THINK SO.

oh yeah so you’re probably wondering abt the panic attack thing🧍‍♀️ so lemme just give you a little back story first about how i feel about her class and stuff‼️ her class terrified me. like every time i would enter i’d be shaking and my heart would be beating so hard that i could feel it in my throat… kinda embarrassing…

but anyway it was just cause we had to present a something we made for a project and i was losing my mind because my friends didnt want to present it and my class was pretty big and filled with a bunch of rude and snotty people so i went to talk to the teacher to ask if i could just present to her privately or something but she said no so like i lowk freaked out and had a break down in the middle of the hallway 💀

honestly though the work isnt that hard considering i passed spanish with an A throughout the years but i just HATE talking in front of the class because for one my accent is different than everyone elses and two im one of the only non native spanish speakers so im kinda just like on edge cause yk how some people are theyre just not nice 🫠

anyway for the rest of the school day things were pretty good except J was being weird again and i think he was trying to flirt with me? he was just being rlly inappropriate and kept stealing my stuff 🫠 he stole my bag and then tried to go through it and then he asked if i had a dildo in my bag and if i like using it 😟 he then proceeded to walk around the class and tell people i have a dildo in my bag. i probably should’ve told C or a teacher idk why i didn’t 😭 oh yeah speaking of C hella people think we’re dating AND NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I TELL THEM WE’RE NOT THEY WONT SHUT UP AND JUST KEEP TELLING EVERYONE THAT WE’RE DATING.

oh i alsofell asleep in english😭 i got lucky at the teacher didnt notice though‼️ and then my friend fell down the stairs

ANYWAY THATS ALL‼️ so how are you axel? OOO WHATS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL??

thats all for today! byebye and ilysm 💗💗

-bambi

dude i swear to god spanish teachers r either the worst person on this planet or the sweetest person ever no in between…. LIKE WHY IS SHE TARGETING U OMG i’d have to start swinging i fear…

i need J to like explode why does he act like that do u think it’s bc he doesn’t get attention at home… that’s mean sorry LMFAO um anyway i hope he leaves u the hell alone already bc u deserve it😍😍

UR FRIEND FELL DOWN THE STAIRS ?1?1??1 HELP R THEY OK???😭😭😭

i’m ok!!! and HMMMM my favorite animals r probably bats !!! what is urs :0

BYEEE ILYT!!!!

[evansbby]

all of part 1 aas my favourite i think because it was the most emotional for me personally.

*im so sorry this is so long i’m just really passionate about poyt5*

Anyway my specific favourite scene of part1 was defo steve’s fight with peter and the aftermath I think because it was so interesting seeing Steve battle with his emotions.Throughout poyt he’s always been so strong and confident and it was really exciting to see him confused and vulnerable.I was so glad Steve automatically assumed it was Peter who initiated the joss and beat the shit out of him because i was worried he would be angry with Omega like how he was when he saw her with Sam in poyt4.It also was so intense watching it all play out and i don’t know how to describe it but it was almost satisfying I guess to finally see Steve lose control(I know that sounds weird but i was literally like “beat his ass steve!”throught the fight)Also Omega absolutely slayed when she spoke up to tell Steve that she wouldn’t forgive him if he killed Peter.I felt like a proud parent.

OMG and when Peter have that big speech??!! I was so shocked I wasn’t expecting it at all(because he was on the brink of death i didn’t think he would’ve had the nerve LOL).And Steves reaction top it all oh my god.Again throughout poyt we’ve only really seen the confident side of steve (apart from poyt4)that’s so sure of himself and it was so refreshing to watch him physically battle his emotions.Also Steve having a panic attack?!?! wasn’t expecting that. Once again loved it because it was so different to the steve were used to seeing AND the way omega comforted him!!I was so proud of her,because that was the first time we’d seen her initiate any physical intimacy because normally she’s too shy!!That was so cute I literally felt my heart melting and when they sat there hugging eachother UGH LOVED IT!!!!!

It also made me giggle when Steve made Omega play that stupid game so he could justify asking her if she loved Peter,he’s so silly.

Now onto the part with Omegas Mom BECAUSE OH MY FUCKING GOD I WASNT EXPECTING THAT.Bestie I’m a sensitive girlie who cries easy you CANNOT do that to me without a warning!!! I was crying so hard bro even after I’d finished reading, as I was trying to fall asleep I was still crying feeling so bad for Omega.I cannot believe the nerve of that woman, she leaves her daughter with a letter she might not have even seen?!? and then attempts to justify her actions by saying “you could always look after yourself better than I ever could”. EXCUSE ME?!?!THATS BECAUSE YOU MADE HER HAVE TO LOOK AFTER HERSELF.Yeah that whole scene at her childhood home was incredibly emotional especially when she mentioned seeing the ghost of her younger self and started screaming after reading the letter(I’m literally tearing up as I type this)I loved steve’s reaction and when he said “we’ll be each-other’s homes”.That was such a beautiful full-circle moment because in the beginning he uses her relationship with her mom to manipulate her into being with him and instead this time he actually tries to comfort her instead of making her feel bad about it.God when she mentioned she’d wanted to die my heart shattered, poor Omega she’s so strong, but I was very proud of Steve I think he did a good job at comforting her.

Another thing I loved that wasn’t a part of part 1 was when they figured out that Steve got her pregnant the first time they got together and he was like “Well you see I told her doctor…” I laughed so hard it was so funny to his old cocky self appear for a moment. OH and when she kissed him and he was like “two months ago you could barley look at me let alone kiss me” I was blushing so hard I genuinely loved that bit like i know it’s a small moment but those are always my favourite. I don’t know how to describe it I was smiling so hard and just felt really warm inside and i was so proud of Omega because of how far she’s come and everything she’s been through.

-⚡️

Thank you so so much for reading!!!

Steve’s panic attack scene was definitely something that I wanted to write since the beginning when I was first thinking about this chapter! I don’t know if I did it justice but I really tried to just write down what I personally felt when I have had panic attacks in the past! It was a bit of a struggle to write that scene bc I didn’t know if I was conveying it well enough! I just wanted to show his slow breakdown at Peter’s words bc you’d never expect an alpha like him to be so affected by Peter’s words.

On to omega’s mom’s letter… I wanted to try and convey like… a nonchalant type of air to it?? Also I love how you mentioned how Steve in the past literally used her lack of a relationship with her mom to manipulate her and now he’s the one comforting her… bc omfg I honestly didn’t even notice that parallel??? But it’s so true!!! It really shows how Steve did change a lot from the guy we first saw!!

And LMFAOOO Steve during the ultrasound appointment 😂😂 just being his smug self. I wouldn’t say that’s his “old” self bc he’s still like that! He’ll always be like that hahaha. Also when he was being awkward with the doctor all like “she’s pregnant so do your thing…” BAHAHAHA (not me chucking at my own shit hahaha)

And you’re right, all the little moments between them were heartwarming and I’m glad you liked those. I tried to sprinkle them throughout the fic bc I wanted to make y’all smile through your tears lol

ily bestie thanks for this fab review!! 🥰💜

[milk-mint]

why do i always get ultra depresso thoughts in sept

[cheesyygarlicbread]

.

[himbos-hotline]

thats so fucking mean!! how DARE they! I need to get my teeth removed but im on the waiting list for an appointment for them to see is my teeth are fucked [despite my wisdom tooth growing across my teeth in my gum instead of down like a normal person] okay okay okay so weve been friends for like a year and met through a mutal friend [hiiii mangoooo if chu see this!] and he was like super sweet by kinda shy and the two of us kinda started talking cuz I wanted to design a house for kenny in the sims and who better to ask than kenny himself [in a way, introjects are real people they just share a body with other people im not explaining it or arguing with others about that yaknow?] and we started talking about that and one night a few months after the inital meeting I had like HORRIBLE paranoia induced nightmares/trauma indued nightmares that lead to me having a really bad panic attack and regressing and he instantly like stepped in to support/comfort me so I could like got to college the next day.

we stopped talking for a little cuz there was an argument between another alter and someone in our system but thats water under the bridge and not important. we started talking again kinda recently and it was like there was no time change at ALL, like we had still been friends even when we werent talking and like two/three weeks ago we were talking and I really sleepily went to another perosn in their system "I think kenny is a good boyfriend" and we spoke about it and yeah...now we're boyfriends and I am like....so....i dont even know if I can put it into words how like....loved I am by him or how much I love him? literally the reason my heart beats and just....like....ugh I wanna hug him so so so fucking badly!! like hes coming over when all in comes back to london [hopefully] and I need time to go as fast as it possibly can cuz I wanna hold his hand so badly and make him pancakes and go to a cat cafe and everything else omg omg omg just sjdfhsudfghureharu

MOUSE!! I haven’t talked to you in like forever but would you be interested in some touch starved Kenny. As in I might be back in my Kenny feels again

RACER OMG IMISSED YOU BUDDY!! are you okay? its been like FOREVER I am interest in ANYTHING kenny omega!!! so many things have happened since yall were gone dude

[scarfwrites]

Making Your Big Debut Karasuno & Seijoh

❅Genre : Fluff, Crack

❅Pairings: Seijoh x FemReader (PLATONIC)

                    Karasuno x FemReader (PLATONIC)

❅Warnings: dark comedy becuz it's heathers, also not proofread 

❅A/N : I have an unhealthy obsession with theatre and an unrealistic dream of being on stage. This is also insanely long but I enjoyed making it

REPOST FROM MY OLD BLOG

SPOILERS FOR HEATHERS AND SIX THE MUSICAL YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Karasuno

You were in your room with Hinata and Yamaguchi. You recently just auditioned for the musical Heathers for the Japan cast. You got callbacks thrice and are now in the final callback. Currently you were having a mini heart attack whilst Yamaguchi and Hinata were trying to distract you.

“Hmm which role do you think they’ll give you” Hinata asks

“I don’t know, I auditioned for literally any role but like what if I don't get it?” you replied shaking

“I’m sure you’ll get one! But if they don’t give you one they’re missing out on a lot” Hinata said trying to cheer you up

“Well which role do you want it to be?” Yamaguchi asked 

“I don’t know, I guess the lead? But I’ll be happy with any role” you replied

“I think you’ll be the yellow one! Or the blue one! They’re both sweet! The red one doesn’t fit you nor does the green one, they're too mean and bossy” Hinata said while you chuckle at his description of the characters.

“Even if they don’t fit Y/N’s personality it’s just acting so if she gets casted as those characters it just means she’s a great actor!” Yamaguchi said smiling at you

“Thanks both of you I feel a lot better” you said giving them a soft smile

The next day you were watching them practice as they usually do. You even decided to help out Yachi and Kiyoko.

“How’s your audition been going?” Kiyoko asked 

“Good I guess but I still haven't heard from them” you sighed

“I’m sure you’ll get a role! You’re really good at singing and dancing” Yachi praised

“Thanks but I don’t wanna get my hopes too high” you said giving them a sad smile

“Are you still mopping over the stupid callback” Tsukishima said annoyed

“HEY! DON’T SAY THOSE STUFF ABOUT HER YOU’LL MAKE HER MORE DEPRESSED” Tanaka yelled

“HE’S RIGHT SHE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE TO BE SAD CUZ SHE’LL DEFINITELY GET IT” Nishinoya chimed in the yelling

“That’s enough of both of you” Daichi said annoyed

“No need to worry about it Y/N we’re all here for you” Suga smiled

“Thanks you guys” brightly smile at all of them

You hear a ringing sound in your pocket.

“I think it's the directors!” You whisper scream 

“PICK IT UP” they whisper back

“Hello?” you said as they gave you a questioning look

“It is them!” you whisper

You went to the storage room as they all left quickly to give you space to talk to the directors

Whilst they were waiting outside the storage room inside the gym they couldn’t contain their nervousness for you.

“Bro what if she doesn’t get it” Noya said biting his fingernails

“WHAT ARE YOU SAYING OF COURSE SHE WILL” Tanaka yelled slapping sense to him

“THANKS BRO I NEEDED THAT” he yelled back

“Shhhhh what if they hear you! You're gonna ruin her interview” Suga whispered

“Oh right sorry” Noya and Tanaka said in unison

“They’d be really missing out if they don’t cast her” Tsukishima said nonchalantly

“I thought you said she was mid” Kageyama said narrowing his eyes

“Shut up king I didn’t say that” Tsukishima scowled

“WHY YO—” Kageyama was quickly interrupted by you slamming the door open with the mix look of distraught and confusion on your face

“So did you get it?” Hinata asked nervously as the room went silent

You started crying which made everyone panic

“I SWEAR THEY WILL SEE OUR WRATH” Suga yelled pulling you in a tight hug

“WHERE ARE THEY IM GONNA KILL THEM” Noya and Tanaka said in unison

“Everyone calm down” Asahi said nervously but was quickly ignored

“Guys I’m not crying cuz I didn’t get the part” you said wiping your tears

They all looked at you with confusion

“I didn’t even say if I got it or not” you continue 

“Will you stop beating around the bush and tell us” Tsukishima said annoyed as Suga elbowed him

“Sorry I was so happy I got the part that I cried” you nervously laugh

“YAY YOU GOT IT” Hinata cheered as he hugged you

“You not getting a role would’ve been more surprising” Kagayema chuckled

“SEE WE TOLD YOU” Tanaka and Noya jumped in joy

“Which role did you get” Kiyoko asked

“Oh right! They told me I got Heather McNamara the yellow one” you explained

“See! I told you the yellow one was the one for you!” Hinata said cheerfully

“I mean I can’t really imagine Y/N being the red one” Asahi chuckled

“It would’ve been fun seeing the red one telling Y/N to shut up though” Tsukishima grinned at you

“Why don’t you shut up” you scowled 

“Alright settle down” Daichi said, getting in between both of you and Tsukishima. “I think this calls for a celebration. Why don’t we go take a bite somewhere?” Daichi continued

“YEAH!” You all say excitingly

After practice you all went to a restaurant for a “victory feast”. The next couple of months were spent rehearsing for the musical. Rehearsals weren’t open to watch no matter how much they begged or when you asked for consideration the team couldn’t watch which bummed them a lot. Though that didn’t stop them from asking you to sing the songs you sang or steal the script of the lines you were supposed to act.

“You guys I need the script to rehearse tomorrow I almost forgot it earlier” you scold

“Sorry we just really wanted to see” Hinata said sadly looking very adorable in the process

You swear he’s doing this on purpose

“Please don’t make that face” you said trying not to get persuaded by him

“Just one song please” he begged getting on his knees

“We’ll get on our knees too” Noya said pulling Tanaka with him

“You guys if she doesn’t want to do it then she doesn’t have to” Suga scolded lightly as they all look down in sadness

“Thanks Suga” you smile

“Though I wouldn’t mind if you did show us lines or songs” he smiled innocently as you sigh

“It’s just one song are you that afraid of sounding that bad in front of us” Tsukishima looked at you condescendingly 

“Fine challenge accepted” you smirked at him

You then sang your own rendition of Lifeboat which was your main solo in the musical. You also did the lines before your solo. Short but had a lot of emotions accompanied by your soothing voice. As you finish you look at them and see them tearing up and Tsukishima looking like they’re about to cry.

“Woah you guys that’s not even me giving my all” you chuckled

“WHAT?!? YOU PUT SO MUCH EMOTION IT MADE ME CRY” Noya yelled

“I guess it’s cuz she’s a really great actor” Yamaguchi smiled

“She’s also got a great voice” Kageyama chimed in

“It even made Tsukishima cry” Hinata pointed out

“What the hell are you saying? I’m not crying” Tsukishima said looking away to hide his tears

“Doesn’t matter you did great” Daichi said patting your back

“Aww thanks you guys” you smiled brightly

A few months of rehearsals later it was time to make your big debut which thankfully was on the weekends so the whole team could come. You were currently in your dressing room getting ready as the show was in an hour. Saying that they were excited was an understatement. It was as if Hinata multiplied or shared his energy with everyone

“I'M SO EXCITED BRO ARE YOU” Tanaka exclaimed 

“YES WE FINALLY GET TO SEE Y/N ON STAGE PERFORMING” Nishinoya said nodding in agreement

“You guys already saw me perform on stage before though” you sighed

“Yeah but not this musical!” Hinata cheered

“C'mon guys we need to go to the seats after all shows about to start in ten minutes” Daichi said pulling them aside

“Don't forget to break a leg” Suga smiled

“Thanks I'm still pretty nervous” you said sheepishly

“You'll do great stop worrying or you’re gonna do awfully” Tsukishima said annoyed getting elbowed by Suga in the process

“The show's about to begin everyone get ready” you hear the intercom say

“That's our cue to leave” Daichi stated

“See you later Good luck Y/N!” Tadashi yelled getting outside

“Goodluck!” The rest of the team say in unison whilst getting outside you smiled at their sweetness

The show started with the opening number Beautiful. The team was waiting for when you'd show up luckily as they thought that you showed up during the heathers introduction part in beautiful

| Heather McNamara head cheerleader her dad is LOADED! He sells engagement rings |

They cheered very loudly to the point where you couldn't hide your huge smile. The support they gave you almost made you cry. After the song ended it's time for Candy Store which was the main song of the Heathers

| Course if you don't care, fine! Go braid her hair maybe Sesame Street is on |

They were amazed by your harmonies, your dancing and acting. Sure they've seen you dance, act and sing but despite the first show they saw how you really gave your everything.

A moment they never forgot was Never Shut Up Again because your character was moving around very meekly. They couldn't help but smile at your adorableness. Especially when Heather Duke slammed the locker on your face

| We can't just swap her like a light bulb you awkwardly laugh shut up heather you said nervously |

| NO HEATHER YOU SHUT UP |

There were the next songs where it mostly was the other characters' parts. But then came the part where you really shined lifeboat

| And I'm like Jesus I'm on the freaking bus again cuz all my rides to school are dead |

It was supposed to be kinda sad but the way you acted was too funny to them. The laugh ended quickly when you started your solo

| Everyone's pushing everyone's fighting | 

| Storms are approaching there's nowhere to hide | 

| If I say the wrong thing or wear the wrong outfit | 

|  They'll throw me right over the side |

| I'm hugging my knees |

| And the captain is pointing |

| Well who made HER captain |

| Still the weakest must go |

The performance was so much more different compared to the sample you gave. They felt chills and heard the sadness in your voice and acting.

They noticed your character changed from being one of the mean girls to a meek girl who desperately wanted to stay afloat or in other words a cinnamon roll. You didn't have any major parts in the rest of the play apart from the cheerleading.

| Hey yo Westerberg tell me what's that sound? | 

|  Here comes Westerberg comin' to put you on the ground |

“Dude she's in a cheerleading outfit” Tanaka said staring at you

“I know right dude” Nishinoya said also eyeing you

“Calm your horniness down” Daichi said smacking them

The last song Seventeen reprise made them cry. It was basically a happy ending for everyone. Suffice to say the time where you bowed you heard them cheer loud to the point where you were concerned that the ushers would get mad.

Then came stage dooring which was basically when the actors do like a meet and greet. You got a lot of support from the people who were watching which made your heart flutter. But boy did it not compare to the support the team gave you

“WOOOO YOU WERE SO GREAT” Hinata cheered as you quickly shush him

“Guys not so loud we might get in trouble” you scold

“Pfft they can try to stop us” Tanaka said cracking his knuckles

“Well we also don't want her to get scolded” Asahi said worriedly

“Oh right” Tanaka said

“Anyways you were amazing” Suga said smiling at you

“Yeah it even made Tsuki cry earlier” Yamaguchi said excitedly but got elbowed by Tsukishima in the process

“Shut up” Tsukishima scowled

“Well this time I would actually agree with him for once” Kageyama smiled at you

“Aww thanks” you blush as you scratched the back of your neck

“How bout we go have a feast on me” you continued

“YEAH! FOR Y/N!” they all yelled

“Will you keep it down” the usher scolded

“Sorry” you said nervously as you pushed them out of the building.

They may be rough or hard headed but you still thought of them as family.

Seijoh

You were currently in your room with the third years practising for your audition for Six which recently started opening auditions. They were helping you to find songs to sing for your audition.

“Which role are you even gonna choose anyways?” Matsun asked

“I don’t know any role is honestly fine with me” you replied

“It’d be much easier if you could pick a role and have a song that corresponds to that role” Iwaizumi stated

“Yeah I guess you’re right you sighed thinking of which role” you wanted

You loved all the roles and wouldn’t mind getting any but if you had to be specific.

“I guess Seymour, Howard or Parr?” You said thinking out loud

“Cool choices if I knew who those were” Maki deadpanned 

“The grey one, the pink one or the blue one” you scoff

“Aren’t those the ones with the most depressing songs” Matsun said

“I wouldn’t call it depressing per se it’s more of emotional” you explain

“Then we gotta pick like an angsty song” Oikawa said looking through your options

“How about this one” Iwaizumi said holding the song

Oh that's a good one! you said excitedly

We'll just need to find one more! you continued 

Alright let's get to it Oikawa said

After the audition you got a callback. So you needed to practise for the next callbacks which were for singing, dancing and a bit of acting with the actual script. Though it was hard to take it seriously when Oikawa was being very over dramatic reading the script whilst the other third years making comments on how bad he's doing.

“Stop taking Y/N script it’s her audition not yours” Maki said annoyed

“I’m helping her audition” Oikawa scowled

“Your not helping her you’re being so fucking overdramatic” Iwaizumi complained

“Yeah I’m glad she’s the one auditioning and not you” Matsun sighed in relief

“YOU ALL ARE SO MEAN” Oikawa said annoyed

“Alright settle down you guys I still have to practice just so you know” you sighed

“Alright continue” Maki said

You continued trying out the other songs for your auditions and the others tried helping you with criticism on your acting. Of course they weren’t experts but their support and criticism was greatly appreciated. You then sang their respective solos using the music the directors gave you.

“Wow Y/N-chan I'm in tears” Oikawa said dramatically

“Oh shut up you're literally ruining the moment” Maki scowled

“I mean he's right about how great your acting was though” Matsun chimed in as Oikawa smirked

“Thanks you guys but I'll need more practice to make it my own role” you smile

“Good luck” then Iwaizumi smiled patting your head

After a few more auditions you received callbacks for Seymour and Howard so you opted to practice on their songs and how you'd play the character.

“See Y/N-chan I knew you could do it! You got three callbacks already” Oikawa exclaimed

“They just realized how great you are” Maki smiled smugly

“Thanks but  I don't wanna sound overconfident after all there's multiple other locations to audition” you said worriedly

“If they won't let you get the part we'll send Iwaizumi” Matsun chuckled 

“I'll do it only for her because she deserves it” Iwaizumi scoffed as the others smiled at him teasingly only for them to be chased around the room the rest of the day.

The next day you went to the gym to help out with the team. A thank you for the help they gave you with the auditions.

“Oh Y/N! How's the last callback been going?” Yahaba asked

“It went really well! I think it's one more final callback?” you smiled

“Goodluck to you then, hope you get it” Kunimi nonchalantly said giving you a thumbs up

“You must be nervous it's a pretty big show and you're at the finals” Kindaichi said giving you a soft smile

“I'd be lying if I wasn't really nervous” you chuckled

“Cmon Y/N-chan believe in yourself and you can accomplish anything” Oikawa winked

“Does anyone have a barf bag” Maki scowled

“Go to the cafeteria and get a paper bag” Matsun chuckled

“You all really have to ruin the moment” Oikawa deadpanned

“You ruined the moment when you interrupted her while she was singing” Iwaizumi scoffed

“I was proud of her so I clapped!” Oikawa gasped 

“Hey stop this senseless banter you all still need to practice you know” you reprimanded as they all sigh

“Alright Captain Y/N” they said in unison but before they were about to practice interrupted by your phone ringing

“Hello?” You answered

Everyone was looking at you worriedly until your call finished

“I'm in the finals” you said quietly you didn't know what to think or how to feel

“WHAT REALLY? THIS MEANS YOU'RE GONNA GET IT” Oikawa yelled excitedly only to get smacked by Iwaizumi

“No dumbass she still needs one more audition” Iwaizumi scowled

“Well at least if she doesn't get it she made into the finals” Matsun chimed in

“They'd be missing out though if they didn't cast her” Maki said

“Did they tell you which role they really want you to play” Kunimi asked

“Oh yeah they said Howard no go and they really want me to be Seymour” you smiled

“Well good luck with that” Kyotani muttered as everyone looked at him in surprised 

“Oh uh thank you?” you blush

“Wha– did he just- I-” Oikawa said trying to process everything

“I NEED TO PRACTICE SOME MORE” you said running out of the gym

“Wait! Y/N you still have school” Yahaba sighed

“Oh right” you laugh

The next few days were working your ass off to win the audition. You practiced being her character and her solo as much as possible though you did take breaks as you didn't want to lose your voice or get too tired to audition.

You were now at the audition room looking around to see the other people who wanted to be there. You felt very intimidated. You sadly look down and think, Will I really get it? These girls seem much more talented than me. Plus the other locations you looked like you were about to cry but you remembered that the others though maybe silly they worked hard to help you get to this point so you continued on for them.

“So how was the final audition” Matsun asked

“It went well I think? They were really moved by the song” you softly smile

“Of course! You weren't at your full potential when you first sang the song yet it still made me cry” Oikawa cheered

“Thanks you guys but still one more call before I get into the show if I even get it” you sadly look down

“Cmon don't be such a Debbie Downer we know you can do it” Maki gave a reassuring smile

“Yeah I can't imagine anyone playing the role other than you” Iwaizumi smiled as you blush

“I think this calls for a group hug” Oikawa said happily as everyone except him were in a group hug

“HEY WHAT ABOUT ME!?” Oikawa yelled

“Fine come here you dork” you smiled

“I'm not a dork but fine” Oikawa scoffed 

You all heard ringing from your phone

“Isn't that your phone” Matsun said

“Yeah… it's the directors” you silently panic

“Pick it up and whatever happens we'll be there for you” Iwaizumi smiled

“Wow what a softy” Maki teased receiving a glare from Iwaizumi

“Alright” you said picking up the phone

A few minutes later after they left your room

“God what is taking so long” Oikawa complained

“Not as long as you take in the shower” Iwaizumi scowled as the other two laughed

“GUYS I GOT IT! I GOT IT!” you yelled at the top of your lungs

“CONGRATS!” they all yell in unison then they all pull you into a tight hug

“Thanks you guys for everything” you smiled as you cried

“No prob save those tears when you're in the show” Matsun said wiping your tears

“Yeah you're gonna be doing that a whole lot” Maki chuckled

“Let's go for lunch on me tomorrow” you smiled

“Alright!” they said in unison

The day after you took them for  lunch. The others in the team congratulated you even the angry dog which made you smile brightly. The next few months were rehearsals where you acted and sung with your co-workers which was very fun. The third years besides Iwaizumi tried sneaking in to watch but quickly got caught and got reprimanded by both the security and Iwaizumi. You laughed your ass off when they told you about it.

It was now opening night which made you very nervous as it was your first time performing in this show. You were currently getting your makeup done after fitting your costume.

“Woah you look so good in that costume” Kindaichi praised

“Aww thanks the costume itself is really beautiful” you smiled

“And fitting!” Oikawa smiled

“You still would’ve looked good in the other costumes though” Matsun said

“This costume fits her the best though” Maki said as Matsun nodded in agreement

“Everyone get ready we’re gonna start in six minutes the intercom” stated

“Well guess we have to go to our seats now” Matsun sighed

“Goodluck Y/N-chan! Break a leg!” Oikawa smiled

“Yeah good luck!” they all said before leaving

The show started with the opening Ex-Wives which was where they described each wife of Henry the 8th. You were the third wife Jane. During your parts you heard very loud cheering from the team which made you smile.

| Jane Seymour the only one he truly loved |

| Rude! |

| When my son was newly born, I died |

| But I’m not what I seem or am I? |

| Stick around and you’ll suddenly see more |

The mom jokes and puns that your character made were hilarious and made them laugh their ass off. You smiled brightly on the inside on how they were enjoying the show. The next songs were mainly the other queens solos so it was mostly you dancing but it still amazed them on how great you were. Then it came to your solo Heart of Stone which was Jane's message to Henry about her unconditional love no matter how bad he was to the other queens. Though it was the song you sang the most, you tried hiding your full potential from them so this would be the first time they’d see you give your everything.

| You can build me up | 

| You can tear me down |

| You can try but I’m unbreakable |

| You can do your best |

| But I’ll stand the test |

| You’ll find that I’m unshakable |

The last part where you belt your heart out had them in tears. It was emotional and your soothing voice did not help them from pouring their eyes out. You got a very loud standing ovation from the audience after the song which made you much more confident and less nervous.

| Cuz what hurts more than a broken heart? |

| A severed head |

They laughed a lot from that joke. The next few songs were you dancing apart from Haus of Holbein until you got to the lines during the prologue before All You Wanna Do.

| When my ONE and ONLY child had a raging fever Henry wouldn’t let me her MOTHER se– |

| OH BOOHOO! Maybe Mary had the chickenpox and you weren’t there to hold her hand well, it's funny because when I wanted to hold my NEWBORN SON I DIED! |

| And Jane, dying of natural causes |

| WHEN WILL JUSTICE BE SERVED! |

They laughed their asses off at that part as your acting was top notch hilarious. You had some more hilarious lines after All You Wanna Do which was a weird shift from how sad and emotional the song was.

| So true when you died your son did have to grow up without a mother– |

| OH WAIT! That was me and no one cared when you died! |

Then came the prologue of I don’t need your love which was when Parr confronts everyone about how comparing their lives was very messed up.

| Well we’re here in front of all these people going like OOH let see what gets the biggest cheer trauma or abuse WOOO! Should we really be doing this? |

| I mean we’ve literally been doing that for the last hour so you said nonchalantly |

Then came I don't need your love the remix when you all sing together. Then after came six which was all of you retelling your lives in a happy ending. Of course your character with the jokes and puns.

| We’re one of a kind no category

Too many years lost in history

We’re free to take our crowning glory

For five more minutes

WE’RE SIX |

Then it finally came to an end with the MegaSix which was a song they were able to record. Which was hilarious as Oikawa tried filming the show earlier but an usher came in and stopped him as he was literally at front row.

| You can -LOL | 

| You can -SAY OH WELL | 

| You can try but I’m unbreakable | 

| All you wanna– Do your best | 

| But I’ll stand the test | 

| You’ll find that I’ve | 

| Got a Heart of Stone | 

Then the show ended and all you bowed as you all got a massive standing ovation. You then went out to stagedoor greeting all the fans and getting their unconditional support but you smiled brightly seeing the team waiting for you.

“So what did you all think” you smiled

“I don’t know how fantastic you were!” Oikawa cheered

“Yeah you made everyone cry during your solo” Yahaba chuckled

“Even the mad dog and Iwaizumi were moved” Maki smirked

“Shut up” Iwaizumi and Kyotani said in unison

“Aww thanks I’m flattered” you chuckled as you blush

“Oikawa tried filming earlier didja see that” Matsun laughed

“Yeah it was very clear and I got scolded after the show for it” you glared at Oikawa

“Oops” Oikawa nervously laughed

“I’ll kill him for you” Iwaizumi said cracking his knuckles as Oikawa looked at him mortified

“Maybe later let’s just go out to eat, I'm starving!” you said holding your stomach. You were glad you had such a big family who would always support you no matter what.

MASTERLIST

Here are the main songs that Y/N sung ironically also my favorites from their respective musical

[fyodior]

Hi my favorite little cum socks. I’m sorry I went MIA but I have work and school and idk not a life though. LMAO. Anyways I’ve come beating fyodor head canons 😍🫶 because I like spoiling y’all like that.

Fyodor accidentally took Viagra instead of his vitamins and he literally had a panic attack because his dick was just randomly hard??? 0/10 don’t recommend

Fyodor’s card got declined at the dollar tree, he was so humiliated he just stole the fucking ramen.

Fyodor ate a caterpillar thinking it was one of those mini pickles. It indeed was not a mini pickle.

Nikola surprisingly convinced Fyodor that, he (fyodor) has a child in Antonio Texas named Ivan. Fyodor has accepted he’s a dead beat

Fyodor stole Ex U.S. president George Bushes nudes .

Fyodor wrote a manifesto but decided not to mail it to the TV station cuz he felt the whole “world domination” thing was too basic 😕

Fyodor can tap dance

Fyodor met Beyoncé once??? Idek how

Fyodor like to slowly pull of the head of gummy bears before he eats them 🫶

Fyodor has a bts Stan account on Twitter and he has quite a large following. Also has been “cancelled” for doxxing a 16 year old for calling bts “mid” Fyodor has also hacked namjoons phone.

Fyodor has been banned from every single Red Lobster restaurant.

Fyodor wanted cheap computer parts and he ended up in the trunk of a 2002 corala Toyota at 3:45am in Spain. He got the parts but he’s missing his left kidney.

Fyodor can’t do a cartwheel.

Fyodor figured out how to cure blindness but spilled tea on his papers and Is to lazy to re-write it

Fyodor watched a middle age lady try to tame three parrots to basically fly her. Like the were trying to lift her into the air. He thinks about it a lot.

Fyodor watched everything, everywhere, all at once and quite literally had a mental break down in the theater, like he was not okay, he was so emotionally distraught the person next to him asked if he wanted a hug.10/10 movie

Fyodor has a fake pair of boobs he uses for a pillow when he falls asleep working

Fyodor stole someones chihuahua and gaslighted them into thinking they never had a dog. It’s name is window. No I didn’t misspell that yes the fucking chihuahua is named Window.

Fyodor hates Ellen so much he ended up stealing half of her assets.

Fyodor pays for a woman’s college tuition he met at a strip club, not out of the kindness of his heart but because she just couldn’t dance LMAO and got 2nd hand embarrassment.

Fyodor ended up chaperoning some high schools home coming and spreader the rumor that Chris G. Is cheating with Sarah P. Jane Y. And Tyler W. And Sarah P. Is pregnant with twins.

Fyodor almost became a sugar baby because he was re-writing the manifesto and he kinda just went “omg this is so much workkkk.”

Fyodor woke up in North Korea because he decided to eat the mini pickle. It was a mini pickle! this time but it was poisoned and is now missing a rib bone on his right side. And ran a tofu business briefly.

-your one and only, Fyodor’s missing left kidney

🪱

READING EACH ONE OF THESE WAS LIKE GETTING FUCKING WHIPLASH OVER AND OVER DFJLKASDFJKLAS HOW THE FUCK DO OYU COME UP WITH THESE IM IN TEARS

WHAT EDID HE DO TO GET BANNED FROM RED LOBSTER AND WHY DID HE STEAL WINDOW THE CHIUHUAUA