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#but im glad my painting is gonna make someone happy I’m glad about that
4x01 · 11 months
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girls when their own stupidity gives them the quencies (<-consequences)
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not really an ask but more so just a weird over the top expression post? it’s disgustingly personal but i’ve been thinking about telling you because?????? engngjghbggbb
so i’ve been kinda existing and looking at your work for quite some time. ever since the hikari yo flipnote back on sudo in i think it was 2017? and ever since i was hooked on your artwork and your animations. learning about hotarubitale and how someone was just making these things and having fun was so inspiring to me.
unfortunately i was kind of out of the undertale fandom at that time and i sort of just had you as an artist i liked to look at every now and again… and then you started getting back into errink and with that i discovered rsp and treehouse and i slowly started to look at your works again. rsp actually helped me process something in my life that i realized was a really shit situation… and i got out of it. treehouse has slowly been becoming a cute comfort to me as well. the cutlery animatic helped me process things in my life. i really loved how you explored niji’s grief in it and it was such a unique take on ink and RAAH!!
now i’m back at your blog, rereading rsp, rereading hotarubitale, looking at your art or your fun reblogs every now and it. just made me rediscover a lot of the joy i had in the undertale and by extension underverse lore again. all the things that you do to talk about your favorite little sanses and of course gin has made me really happy again? your art has inspired me and has taught me “it’s okay to draw the shit you like because someone’s gonna love it.”
when you reblogged your old comic about niji seeing hotarubitale again it sparked me to revisit my old aus i made when i was 12.., and now i’m recreating it, having fun, and im being a little goober imagining ink being all happy to see those dumb names getting a brand new fresh banger coat of paint
i sound borderline incoherent and i’m so sorry that im word vomiting to you at 2 am but i just really wanted to thank you for all these Feelings and for just doing what you do
oghhhhg...my god...... that hikari yo animation is so old, it's not even finished....... it always turns me into mush whenever anyone remembers me for my flipnotes and sudo, it holds a special place in my heart so it really means so much to me that you discovered me even that far back..... (this is the flipnote, if anyone wants it, lol)
im so happy to hear that you processed things thanks to rsp, it did the same for me :'( im glad you got out of it!!!!!! and niji's grief!!!! im so happy to hear that!!!!!!!!
this is so.....im so tender, im so flattered by all of this im really glad i can make u rediscover some joy in ur life. im genuinely so honored and flattered, i dont know what to say
and yes!!!!! it's true!!!!! also literally canon!!!!!!!!!! ink DOES see you having fun with your little works and AUs and hes having the best time seeing you creating and making and doing such good things with your work! thats his purpose!!!! thats who he is!!!!!!!!!
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yorue welcome...youre so very welcmoe........im so honored to have helped change a part of you into something nice and positvie..........im so so soso honored and proud to have helped somebody. i want 2 cry. youre so welcome. literally anytime. im so happy to have done even this little thing for you
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stunie · 1 month
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Hi Evie👋🏾 rn it’s 4:50am (scratch that. i had to open the store but i’m back and it’s 6:08am for me when i finally send the ask) and i’m about to go to work for the day. hope you had good night’s sleep! i’ll probably be back home and in bed when you see this 😵‍💫🥰
i’m gonna be honest and say that i spent a good chunk of my evening sobbing/crying but i think i’m feeling better. it was like a good cry? like, i kinda needed it? but i was having a decent day before then and got red bean buns and this really good sea salt matcha!
hmm. as for the match up idk what to say! i’m a shy person who hasn’t been in love before, but i become very extroverted and loud when im around people i trust and feel comfortable around!
As such, i usually lean towards characters who are outgoing and almost overbearing/overwhelming( like a Bokuto from Haikyuu) OR characters who come off as mean/rude/scary but they’re soft and care deeply about their friends. (Barou from Blue Lock) Someone who’s dependable and can calm me down and help me slow down when my brain goes into overdrive. (Togame, Hiragi, and Umemiya from Wind Breaker)
i think i’m just rambling at this point, but uh i also love art and i draw/paint. i’m a big comic book nerd (don’t even get me started on X-Men, i think like half of the 100+ single issues are X-Men adjacent lmao) and Haikyuu is definitely one of my favs!
i think i’d be happy with anyone from Haikyuu, Blue Lock, or Wind Breaker. doesn’t need to be anyone i mentioned
i’m anime only with WB, but I’m a lot more familiar with Haikyuu and Bllk if that helps at all?
(ps: even if i don’t agree/like the character, i think it’d be fun to know what drew you to that character for me so go wild lmao)
HI NONNIE ah i hope you had a good day at work !! and i hope you’re feeling better aw ): i’m glad the cry helped you out though !! also the snacks sound yummy ^ ^ OKAY SO I WAS THINKING.
bachira !!! outgoing ? him!! dependable? also him !! he’s a fun lil sportsy bee 🐝 ^ ^ you two would be so darn cute. ALSO COMIC BOOK NERD ?! he would love to hear you talk about them !!! although i think he’d enjoy hearing you talk about anything you love to be honest (bottom left photo as reference— he’s paying close attention!!) // he just gets excited when you’re excited. likes seeing you happy! also . I FEEL LIKE he’d be a great person to help slow your brain down. tell him everything on your mind and he can either sit and just listen or offer you his thoughts !!! the face he would make … that comforting smile + a “so that’s what’s been bugging you all day huh?” + “we can’t have that.”
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hqmillioncorn · 5 months
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Greet the dawn with me!
"UM  okay so me, pancake and cinnamon were having dinner when babycorn knocked on the door to our room??   Hey hair was down by the way . She asked if she and cherrypit could sleep in our room for tonight? I said yes faster than i could feel nervous about it. Babycorn told me thanks and told me she would be right back with cherry and airy.  Then i turned around and pancake and cinnamon were both giving me thumbs ups. Pancake went to go get some of the  expensive  extra snacks out so we could eat them . and i am now very nervous waiting for babycorn to come back im hiding under the covers writing in my diary."
Lalapril 4/28 with @windupnamazu's Butter, Pancake and Cinnamon
babycorn cant sleep and decides to go out for a nice walk :) then to visit someone! its a busy night
Tomorrow was the day.
The day she was going to meet with Hildibrand once again. Because of course he needed her help! And of course she was going to help him! She would do anything for him cause Hildibrand was so cool and smart and amaaaaazing! 
Then one day soon Hildibrand would finally propose to her and they would get married and live happily ever after! Forever and ever!
…Or at least that’s what Babycorn used to dream of happening. 
After the whole ‘Mandervillian’ thing she was having a few second thoughts about the whole thing. On the day they all learned about it, Babycorn was frozen to her chair for about an hour or two. Then she was frozen staring out of a window. 
Some of it might had been because of the concussion she received earlier but most of it was the shock of the whole thing.
It sort of opened her eyes about her feelings. Did she really want to marry Hildibrand? Something about learning he was a terrifying alien had caused her feelings to immediately stagnate. Not that Babycorn was an expert in love or anything but it just didn’t feel right. 
She knew what falling in love felt like. Right? 
This whole conundrum was weighing on Babycorn’s mind just enough to keep her awake at night. Staring up at the ceiling wasn’t doing anything to help her either. Though it was fun occasionally seeing Cherrypit run back and forth, screaming his head off about something.
No matter what was bothering her, at least she could be happy that Cherrypit was safe. It was far nicer to be worried about issues of love than not knowing if her brother was going to be okay. 
“Get back here little man!” A very angry Airy flew by with paint drawn all over her face. It seemed like a certain someone decided to a napping Airy’s face as a free canvas to practice his artistic skills on. “I’m going to make you pay for what you’ve done!!” For Airy, making someone pay usually meant trying her hardest to hit you. 
Sadly her little cookie fairy fists could only hit someone so hard. Which is to say, not hard at all.
Babycorn watched as Cherrypit and Airy went back and forth, over and over. Despite that she had told them earlier it was bedtime and they needed to get some sleep for tomorrow they were still very much awake. Old habits die hard, she supposed.
As noisy as they were, Babycorn was glad for it. She had spent far too many quiet nights by herself by now. 
Babycorn sighed, turning over in her bed again for what felt like the hundredth time that night. 
This time Cherrypit noticed the long sigh his sister had made. “Bebe?” He jumped right over a flabbergasted Airy by bouncing off her head. A handy trick he learned the last time they had helped Hildibrand out. “OW?!” Airy, hunched over, looked back to see Cherrypit crawling onto Babycorn’s bed as he lightly began to pat her shoulder to get her attention. 
“Bebe! Bebe!” Cherrypit laid his head down on Babycorn’s arm. “Bebe okay?” 
Babycorn couldn’t help but laugh a little. She sat up and grabbed Cherrypit in a hug. “I’m fine! Don’t worry! Just having a little bit of trouble getting to sleep.” 
“Sleep? How you gonna sleep?” Cherrypit asked. He reached a claw over to one of the bed’s pillows and started to chew on it. 
“I wish I knew.” 
At this point Airy had enough of being ignored. She flew her marker-covered face over to where both siblings were sitting and flew above them. “So you can’t sleep hmm…” A little bit of her magic dust was falling on both siblings. Sadly for Babycorn the dust had no instant sleeping properties to them.
Though it did make Cherrypit do a cute little sneeze. Babycorn grabbed part of her blanket and wiped Cherrypit’s nose with it. 
“What if I hit you over the head with a really big stick?!” Airy asked while mimicking the movement of her hitting Babycorn over the head with something. It looked like she was enjoying the hypothetical act of doing that a little too much. 
Babycorn grabbed Cherrypit and scooted away from where Airy was floating. “No thank you!!” One concussion a year was good enough for her. That being said, her record was currently ten a year but that still didn’t mean she would let Airy attack her with a huge stick. 
“Well that’s all I got.” Airy shrugged and flew off somewhere to presumably clean her face. 
Which left Babycorn and Cherrypit by themselves to figure things out.
Babycorn watched as her brother babbled a bunch of baby talk to himself. Something about how he was gonna bite a big piece of bread tomorrow? It sounded yummy. Babycorn wondered if there was bread for him to share with her.
While Cherrypit talked away into the night, she turned her head to see if she could see outside the window. 
It was dark out and a small part of her was expecting the face of a ghost to press itself up against the window. It just felt like her luck was bad enough for something like that to happen.
“Brr…” Babycorn shivered. 
Cherrypit grabbed the blanket Babycorn used before and threw it on Babycorn. “No more cold!” He assured her. Babycorn moved the blanket to where it was just covering her head. “Thanks Cherry!” Not that she was actually cold but it was still nice. 
Cherrypit smiled back at her and crawled right off the bed. The toys he was playing with before on the floor had caught his eye again. From the looks of it he wasn’t going to be tired anytime soon.  Which left Babycorn with more time to see if she could somehow force herself to sleep.
Then, Babycorn’s attention fell to the door. 
As soon as it did she bounced off the bed, put on her pair of slippers and adjusted her pajamas. At the same time Airy happened to reappear, now with a much cleaner face free of swirls and stars. “What are you doing now?” She was still wiping her face dry with a towel. 
Babycorn walked closer to the door and opened it. “I’m going outside for a little bit!” 
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Airy asked, “Won’t it be bad if you and Cherry get separated or something?” 
Babycorn shook her head. “Nah. That doesn’t happen anymore! Rember’?” While it wasn’t entirely true that there weren’t any side effects to getting too far away from Cherrypit, it was true that Cherrypit didn’t drop dead and take over her body anymore. Thankfully. “Besides–I’m not going anywhere too far! Just getting some air!”
Airy couldn't help but wonder if that phrase was something that Babycorn heard someone say once. That would make sense, she just knew that if Babycorn hadn’t she would think it meant flying off or whatever. “Don’t you at least wanna take Cherry with you?” 
Babycorn looked down at her brother. He was still busy playing with his toys. Re-enacting what looked like a pretty dramatic scenario featuring two people slap fighting on top of a giant cannon. “It’s okay! Besides, it looks like he’s having fun playing.” She would hate to interrupt whatever story he was telling. “I’ll be back really soon I promise!”
Airy knew that if Tilika were here she would probably try her hardest to convince Babycorn not to go roaming outside in Radz-at-Han by herself. Tilika practically drilled it in all of their head's that Babycorn needed to be accompanied by someone at all times while they stayed here.
Which Airy thought was ridiculous but agreeing got Tilika to shut up so she just said Sure. 
It wasn’t often that the perfect opportunity presented itself. What better way to start a reign of evil than breaking a few rules? Cause that was totally what Airy was still after! Uh-huh! Yup! Yup! “Alright! Take all the time you need!” Airy cheerfully sang, waving her goodbye. 
It caught Babycorn a little off guard. “O-Okay!” Babycorn opened the door and stepped outside. “Keep Airy safe! Okay Cherry?” 
Cherrypit gave her a little salute as Babycorn closed the door behind her and walked away. 
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It was a little cold outside. 
Or at least colder than Babycorn had expected. As she climbed up the steps of Paksa's path she looked up at the sky above her. It was pretty cloudy. Looking at the clouds moving made her feel kind of dizzy. 
Eventually she made it to the top. The dodos that were usually running around were gone, probably sleeping in their really comfy dodo beds. Which was a shame. Babycorn had really wanted to wave hello. “Goodnight…!” Babycorn whispered in the direction she hoped the dodos would be. With any luck they heard her and wished her a goodnight too, even though she couldn’t hear them either. 
It was a little quiet. Which was nice, but it made Babycorn sort of curious. 
Normally it was rare for her to have a chance to walk around her without at least one person beside her. Usually that person was Tilika and she always made sure they never spent more time outside than they needed to. 
Now here she was–walking around Radz-at-Han at night all by herself. 
At first Babycorn didn’t mind it, since it was always nice to have someone around. But lately, she was starting to get a little worried. Was there something she didn’t know? Of course there was. Babycorn hadn’t wanted to ever think about it but every time she visited there was always a feeling in the back of her mind that there was something missing.
Something that she should know, but just didn’t. 
Babycorn sat down on the grass, taking a fistful of it and sticking it in her mouth. As she chewed she stared straight ahead and tried to reach towards the part in her memories that she could feel was cut off. But no matter how close she thought she was to reaching what she thought she was missing, she always came up short. 
…That was weird. Usually by now Babycorn would be having some sort of piercing headachOh there it was!! Right on time!!
Babycorn gripped the sides of her head and held in a cry of discomfort. Fearing that if anyone heard her out here they would tattle on her and she would get in big trouble. 
Then just like that. It was all gone. 
Babycorn looked around, there were no people around. She looked down, her cozy pajama pants were stained green alongside her hands. There was a big patch of dirt where she had taken her midnight snack from. The grass needed more salt. 
None of this was helping her feel any sleepier than before. It just created more worrying thoughts in her head! What was she worried about? Why couldn't her head just decide?!
Babycorn stumbled to her feet. She was still a little out of it. The missing parts of her memories were busy trying to fill themselves out. In her stupor Babycorn’s instincts managed to take over, as her body decided to run towards the direction of someone she knew could help with her with whatever problem she had.
Then before she knew it, she was already knocking on their door.
The thought she was knocking on the wrong person’s door never even crossed her mind. It should be noted that Babycorn was not very smart.
It should also be noted that this was not the first time something like this had happened. 
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Somewhere in Radz-at-Han Butter, Pancake and Cinnamon were busy having their own interesting night. 
Pancake and Cinnamon were very busy testing out the local cuisine by ordering as many different drinks as they could and rating them on a scale of one to ten. As their entire budget was being covered they went ahead and ordered to their heart's content. 
Surely Lunya Lanya herself would be very proud of them.
Butter, meanwhile, was busy writing in his diary. 
In a way he was in the same boat as Babycorn. He was restless about tomorrow. So much so that he couldn’t stop thinking about it. On the other hand his reason was a bit different than why Babycorn couldn’t get herself to sleep. 
He couldn’t help but think about what if tomorrow was the day Hildibrand finally opened his eyes and realized that Babycorn was in love with him. Then he would sweep Babycorn off her feet and they would ride off into the sunset. 
Would Butter be happy for Babycorn? Yeah, of course. 
And would Butter wish a thousand deaths upon Hildibrand at the same time? Well no duh. 
The same sort of worries had spiraled around his head the last time they all went to help Hildibrand. His biggest fear was that if he didn’t tell Babycorn his true feelings before it was too late, then he would never get the chance to. 
Butter groaned and let his head fall flat onto his diary. “I love Babycorn…” He mumbled to himself. With his face buried in his book however, it came out very muffled and no one could possibly understand what he had said. 
No one, except maybe his dear sister. “Does that mean you’re finally gonna ask her out tomorrow?” Pancake chimed in. 
Butter lifted his head up ever so slightly and gently pushed Pancake away. 
Pancake crossed her arms and leaned herself against the wall. “Come on Butter! Time's-a-ticking and I’m not getting any younger!!” 
“What does your age have to do with anything???”
“Everything! Cause I’m gonna die of old age before you tell Babycorn anything!!” 
Before their conversation could continue, a knock at the door interrupted them. “I got it!!” Pancake yelled, running to get it. No one was exactly racing her to get it but the important thing is that she won either way. When Pancake opened the door she saw–nothing. “Huh?” Then she looked down and saw Babycorn! Her pants were stained green and she looked a little tired.
“Hi Pancake! Sorry if I woke you guys up! I was just wondering if I could ask about something?” Babycorn nervously smiled, rocking back and forth. 
Pancake was going to answer in a completely normal way but stopped herself. She smirked, a plan brewing in her head. “Oh yeah no problem!” She turned back and cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled, “BUTTER!!! YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS AT THE DOOR!!!!!!!!!!”  
She hummed to herself as she heard the telltale signs of Butter scrambling himself off the bed and running towards her. “I’ll let you two talk it out!” Pancake happily bounced herself off the door and back into the room just in time for Butter to reach her.  
“Hey Butts!” Babycorn smiled. Like usual she didn’t notice the nervous smile on Butter’s face.
“H-Hey Babycorn!!” Butter honestly didn’t know where to start. A million thoughts were zipping around his head at once. It was probably better to clear up any misconceptions before anything. “D-Don’t listen to Pancake! I didn’t call you my girlfriend! I-I mean not that I wouldn’t want to-! I mean who said that?! I’m just-”
Thankfully for Butter, Babycorn interrupted him before he could say anything else that would turn his face even redder than it already was. “But I’m a girl!”
Butter looked at her, blinking just a little too fast. “Y-Yeah!” 
“And I’m your friend…?” Babycorn’s eyes began to water. “R-Right…?!”
“Of course! Of course you are!!” 
“Then I’m your girl friend!!” 
Butter decided to give up. Not only because this type of talk had already happened countless times before but also because the way Babycorn was smiling at him was so cute he was feeling his knees turn to jelly in real time. “So? What did y-you wanna ask us?” Butter struggled to ask. 
For a few seconds Butter regretted asking, because as soon as he did, Babycorn’s smile disappeared. “I was just wondering if…” She tapped her fingers together nervously, looking away. “Could me and Cherry and Airy sleep with you guys tonight? If it’s not a lot of trouble?” 
“Yeah! It’s no trouble!” Butter immediately answered. Even Pancake and Cinnamon were caught off guard by how quickly he answered and they weren’t the only ones. 
“Huh? Really?” Babycorn was a little surprised. She had planned out a whole explanation in her head and everything. It would be a waste not to explain herself, if only just a little bit. “It’s just…I’ve been having trouble sleeping and I just thought maybe it would be easier to sleep if I…” Babycorn trailed off. 
“If you were?” Butter asked.  
“...If I felt safe. You know?” 
That’s not to say Babycorn didn’t feel safe around Cherrypit or Airy, but if anything happened to her she wanted to make sure someone else could protect them if she couldn’t. “I just feel safe when I’m around you Butts!” She smiled, holding her hands together. 
Butter couldn’t blush any harder. “I-I’m glad-!” Because there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to protect you, he wanted to say. In the end, he ultimately just let Babycorn know she could come over anytime she wanted to. “We’ll be here all night! We’re not going anywhere!” He assured her. 
“Great!” Babycorn turned and began her run back to her room but not before turning back one more time and shouting back, “Don’t worry I’ll bring all the blankets and pillows we need! And me and Cherry can sleep on the floor! Airy brings her own bed!” With that out of the way Babycorn ran off again.
Butter waved at her until she was out of view. A lovestruck smile on his face. 
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True to her word Babycorn had arrived with almost a mountain of blankets and pillows balanced on her head and some of them on Cherrypit’s head too. Airy was dragging a small doll bed behind her. 
Judging from the scowl on her face she was much less happier about this arrangement than Babycorn and Cherrypit were.
Her attitude took a turn for the positive when it turned out that Cinnamon had some extra sweets to share with her sister as they gossiped all about Babycorn and Butter respectively.
Cinnamon had a lot of the usual to say but Airy had some new juicy gossip of her own…
Meanwhile both Starsinger siblings had easily inserted themselves into Pancake’s drink judgment bracket. There were plenty of smoothies to go around and even then she could just order some more from the allowance Tsuna gave her earlier. Butter had joined in too, deciding right off the bat that the first pineapple smoothie he tried was the best. 
It had felt a lot like this had turned into an impromptu sleepover rather than a way to help Babycorn get to sleep. 
Though as the night went on–the more tired everyone began to get.
Cherrypit was the first to fall asleep. Wrapped in Babycorn’s arms in the middle of a triple triad match between Babycorn and Butter. Which Butter ended up winning by default because Babycorn had ended up eating half of one of her cards by accident. 
Next was Pancake, who swore up and down the room that she was only going to close her eyes for a minute or two as she got comfy on her bed. Even as she was talking Butter was shaking his head, knowing his sister much too well. He ended up being right. As soon as Pancake’s head hit the pillow she was out like a light. 
That left just Babycorn and Butter awake. Alongside their fairy companions. 
Both of them decided to go ahead and start setting up the numerous blankets that Babycorn brought with her. There were so many of them that piling them up was just as good as bringing a whole other bed into the room.
Or at least, to Babycorn it did. “Come on Cherry…” Babycorn whispered, gently picking her brother up and carrying him onto their makeshift bed. 
After she covered him in a warm blanket she took a seat on the floor, letting out a sigh. She was more tired now, that was true, but there was still some worry left in her about tomorrow. 
Babycorn looked over to see what Butter was doing. He had just finished checking up on Pancake and had gone over to his own bed. Weirdly enough Babycorn noticed him looking at her then he would look surprised and look away really fast. She poked her own nose. Did she have something on her face again? 
Eventually Butter got off his bed and walked over to the window, a book in his hands. Butter took the book and slipped it under some extra pillows. He was really hoping no one would notice what he was doing. Especially not Babycorn. 
“What are ya doing Butts?” Babycorn just happened to ask. She was standing up on her tippy-toes to see if she could get a better view of what he was doing.
In a panic, Butter was caught entirely off guard. “Just hiding my diary!” WHY DID I SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Oh! Cool!” She had no idea what a diary was. 
Butter hid his diary as fast as he could and rushed back as fast as he could. But before he could even get close enough to hide under the covers–Babycorn called out to him.
“Hey Butter? Can I ask you a question?” 
“Yeah!” Butter answered, turning to look at her. “What’s up?
Babycorn took a deep breath. She sat down on the floor, clutching a pillow tightly. “Do you think Hildibrand loves me?” 
Butter froze. For a second he even stopped breathing completely. He turned around to look at Babycorn. His eyes met hers. It was like staring into a warm summer day, he couldn’t help but be drawn in. Butter walked up to Babycorn and knelt down in front of her. As much as he didn’t want to think about Hildibrand he knew there was only one answer to the question. 
“I think…” Butter struggled to speak. “I think he would be crazy not to be in love with you.” 
Babycorn was stunned. “Do you really think so?!” 
“Y-Yeah!!” Butter smiled, gritting his teeth. “No. Doubt. About. It.” 
“I see…” She noticed that Butter looked really happy to be telling her that. Of course he would be, he was like one of her bestie best friends. Just all her other friends! Because of that she didn’t have the heart to tell him how she really felt. 
If Hildibrand proposed to her tomorrow, well, she had no idea how she was going to react. 
“Hey Butts? You’re coming to help tomorrow right?”
As much as Butter wished that he didn’t have to go through another whole day or more of seeing Babycorn making googly eyes at Hildibrand, of course he was going to help. “I wouldn’t miss it for anything! Ahahaha…” 
That was a relief! “I’m glad you’re coming with!” It just wouldn’t be as fun without Butter and everyone else around! As long as he was around then maybe Babycorn wouldn’t have to spend another four hours sitting on a chair scared out of her mind about aliens.
Why, oh why, was marriage and love just so complicated? She bemoaned. 
Why couldn’t everything be as easy as eating worms from the wet ground?
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As dawn broke through, Cinnamon and Airy giggled quietly to themselves. 
Airy poked her head out from behind a fort of blankets they had created to hide themselves behind just in case anyone woke up and interrupted their secret plan. “I literally can’t believe this.” A part of her wanted to just fly in and kick them awake but Cinnamon managed to convince her to hold back the violence. Using nothing but a delicious cookie, 
The (self-proclaimed) more artistic of the sisters was furiously drawing as fast as she could. “Have they moved at all yet?” Cinnamon cried out. 
“Nope. Still the same as last BAJILLION times you asked.” 
“Okay! Good!” Cinnamon continued to draw as fast as she could. “Just a little bit more…!” As soon as she was finished with it she would go ahead and place it inside of Butter’s diary, right on the newest page so it could be the first thing he would see when he opened it back up. 
She had to be quick, because any second now either Babycorn or Butter would wake up and ruin her reference. It was hard for her to draw any faster. Small as she was, drawing for her meant almost carrying a pencil across a page.
But it would all be worth it when she finished. 
Cinnamon needed Butter to know that they had fallen asleep sitting next to each other. Babycorn resting her head on his shoulder and holding their hands together. 
A smile on their faces.
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winderlylandchime · 1 year
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2/2 ‘BRIAN ISNT AN ASSHOLE! How did he find out? It’s not like you guys are the smartest fucks on the planet. Exactly he is great in bed, im glad you know that you are no match, Trevor (me: who tf is trevor) *flaps his arms at Ethan* he is not worth my memory! OH LOOK AT THAT YOU GOT DUMPED! now you got no one! He’s going back to his violi- I TOLD YOU HE JERKS OFF TO IT! *pauses tv* ISNT THAT THE PAINTING JUSTIN MADE? I swear thats Brian and hum fucking. The problem is, I want Bri and Justin. But Brian is NOT a consolation prize!..oh so you get dumped by the guy that looooves you and suddenly Brian is good enough? Now i am officially pissed off on my dudes behalf! AND HE WAS AWAKE WAITING TO SEE WHO JUSTIN CHOSE. FUCK THIS ENTIRE FUCKING THING!..and of course Brian is immediately ready to cuddle up to him and hold him cause he knows. This is breaking my heart. Fuck this and especially FUCK whoever wrote this shit, i hope they step on a lego!’ He is so angry and upset that he can’t even form a reaction to Emmett/Ted or anyone else so he just keeps groaning. ‘fuck you Justin, you know damn well he did this for YOU not him. If itd be for him, he’d be doing the interview! He doesn’t love you? You know what? I’m done. EXACTLY MIKE. fuck you Justin, Michael for ONCE did the right thing and you’re pissed. He at least had some decency unlike you. You’re only sorry that you got caught. I wanted them together so badly. But this *flaps his arms* not it. Brian deserves to be picked as a first choice! Not a “welp the other guy backed out so i guess you’ll do”. So now I don’t want them together even though it will kill my boy Bri Bri but I will be there for him! And maybe he can meet someone new and Justin will get jealous and win him back. Yes, i like this plan’ He fucking made a paper air plane and threw it at Ben and said ‘here, get on it and fuck off, nobody cares about you right now’ He really is losing his mind. ‘LOOK AT THIS PARTY! And that fucker wants to say he did it for himself? Fuck all of this. Can he throw me a party? Awww look it’s Jen!! Yeah, Deb..one of them truly is UNBELIEVABLE. BRIAN IN THE MASK!!! Do you think that seeing Rage and JT kiss will make Justin have this deja vu to him and Bri Bri kissing and he will realize a thing or 6? “After what he told you?” JUSTIN, do you realize how fucking ridiculous that sentence is?! Might as well just look at him and say “after he ruined my chance to continue cheating on you” WHAT THE FUCK. And still, Brian cares about him and his future. He is a much better person than me’ He is now convinced that Justin/Brian stay together because of his rage/jt theory but he is stressed since the ep is coming to an end..’BRIAN IS LOOKING FOR HIM!!! HELL YEAH HE WANTS TO BE WITH HIM! FOR ONCE MEL IS SMART!…He’s fucking himself, that’s actually impressive. Damn this isn’t a good thing but it’s nothing new so why is he acting hurt? NO NO NO WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING HERE?!?! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GET HIT BY A BUS! oh boo fucking hoo, i have no proof but I’m sure Beethoven would think you suck. He has a weird tendency to blame Justin for him fucking up… THIS IS NOT WHAT I PLANNED! Nooooo Brian! BRIAN IS GONNA SEE THEM! NOOO NOOOOO, THEYRE KISSING! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! Oh look Deb doesn’t look happy! Deb be on my side please! I know i hated you for a few episodes but we both feel the same way about Bri Bri! BRIANS HURT. OH YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH HE IS MAKING EYE CONTACT WITH BRIAN, he’s doing this shit on purpose. THATS RIGHT TAKE THAT MASK OFF AND TOSS IT TO TRASH! Fuck you Justin. At least show some remorse. Brian baby, i wanna hug you. And here he goes pretending like he’s fine. Justin, no offense but you are officially on my shit list’ He then proceeded to put his head in his hands and just stare at the floor for 5 whole minutes. Until he got up, took his pills, grabbed a soda and his cigarettes and went outside and I heard him talking to my neighbor so I went outside and he pointed at me and went ‘no! You are the reason for this heartbreak so go away!’
AND HE WAS AWAKE WAITING TO SEE WHO JUSTIN CHOSE. FUCK THIS ENTIRE FUCKING THING!..and of course Brian is immediately ready to cuddle up to him and hold him cause he knows. This is breaking my heart. Fuck this and especially FUCK whoever wrote this shit, i hope they step on a lego! <- the most relatable reaction to such a heartbreaking scene
I am dying over his Rage/JT theory and wish it were true (I mean, not really but in the moment that all this unfolds I wish it were true)
He has a weird tendency to blame Justin for him fucking up… <- Um, this is some really insightful stuff. Ethan really does have that pattern, doesn't he? Wow.
He then proceeded to put his head in his hands and just stare at the floor for 5 whole minutes. Until he got up, took his pills, grabbed a soda and his cigarettes and went outside and I heard him talking to my neighbor so I went outside and he pointed at me and went ‘no! You are the reason for this heartbreak so go away!' Oh our man is really going through it. Very relatable. I'm very excited for him see S3 and all the goodness there. He's going to die the punch. AND THEN over the Stockwell arc.
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v--143 · 1 year
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I feel you, I can't say the word neither💔
BUT I'M GLAD YOU'RE GETTING TO WRITE ITTTTT, that's a progress😻
Im glad you're gooooood
Tbh, I AM SUPER HAPPY
A bit of context, in my school, every quarter we have to do a project of a subject, and this one is Spanish (yk I told you I'm from Colombia so yeah)
And basically, the Mrs just thought about THE HARDEST AND AMAZING PROJECT EVER
So the project's between the two 8th's and one of the 7th's
And it's very complicated (she's gonna make us even pay for a car, FOR. A. CAR.)
So yeah, it's pretty hard and everything, so she needed someone to help her to direct everything and stuff
AND SHE PICKED ME :3
Like, outta like 60 people she decided I was gonna do the perfect job in that
AndIcan'tbehappier, Ifeelimportant💔
AND BESIDES
Tomorrow (like, in 7 minutes that's gonna be midnight) IS MY FRIENDSHIP ANNIVERSARY WITH MY BEST FRIEND
It's been already 9 months
I still cannot believe it
And yeah, that's what's going on in my life
Good luck with your summer works<3
Take care of yourself and stay healthy<3
-🐹
AAYYEEEE OKAAYY THATS SO COOL out of 60 people?!?! DAMNN felicitaciones 🥳🥳🥳🥳!!!!
I cannot believe she’s making you guys pay for a… CAR?! A whole CAR?! Good luck with the project🥹
And that’s so cute that you keep track of important friendship anniversaries I adore that omgjwkansiidnaosn I hope you two have an AMAZING time get cake and paint stuff together then sleepover🥰
I’ve actually advanced quite a bit on my workIH MY GOD I just smacked a fly with my phone right after I typed that ANYWAYS 😭 summer work is a lot but I think in the next 2 ishhh hours I should be completely done with this one!! Then just one more packet and I’m set 👏🏻
Have an amazing day or night ^^
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miekasa · 3 years
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Mie, I’m begging for some Jean college au bf hcs - im literally so down bad for this man and the way you write men is just 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻
Absolutely, not a problem 😌 I saved this ask as a draft a while ago when you sent it, sorry for just now getting to it. Anyway, I love Jean with my whole heart, best boy, best boyfriend <33
King of forehead kisses, and not even just because of his height in comparison to yours; he just likes it. He likes the feeling of pressing his lips against your skin, and making you feel safe.
Brings you tea or coffee however you like it every day without fail. If he can get it to you in the morning before work/school then he’ll do that, if not he’ll meet you some time in the middle of the day to drop it off. Your own personal courier just for drinks.
He… has a thing for long(er) nails. He loves the feeling of them against his skin, even if you’re not scratching to apply pressure—just you holding his hand them grazing his skin is enough for him.
That being said, he will pay for you to get your nails done. Actually, he’ll pay for… almost anything you want, but the nails benefit him as much as they do you so feel free to ball out.
He never blowdries his hair because he doesn’t... know how to do the back of it. You did it for him once and he hasn’t stopped thinking about it since, but he’s also too embarrassed to ask you to do/style it again.
On the subject of hair, he does do his best to style it and take care of it, but he’s a sucker whenever you play with it. Sometimes he feigns like you’re messing up all his hard work, but he’ll literally crane his head into your touch. He loves it. 
The first time he lays on top of you and you run your hands through his hair... top 10 most euphoric moments of his life. He tries to fight off the sleep threatening to take over him, but it’s futile. Give it 15 minutes at most before he’s knocked out like a baby. 
Dogs love him. Anytime you’re in a park or just taking a walk and there’s a dog around, it’ll come up to him and he looks adorable leaning down to pet it. He loves dogs, too! So he’s always happy to stop and pet them. He’d be a 10/10 dog dad. 
Has your name saved in his phone with two hearts at the end. Do not point it out.
Loves taking pictures together and if you guys are on a date, he’ll ask someone to get a picture for him. He just likes having them to look back on (and to send to his mom, later).
He doesn’t mind painting classes or videos or tutorials, but he hates paint by numbers kits. He claims that they have no sense of color theory and that it takes the originality and fun out of painting. Not to mention the quality of the paints isn’t great to begin with; all of which he takes very seriously.
It’s pretty cute actually, to see him get worked up over the paint kits. He claims that painting and drawing isn’t even something he takes “that seriously,” it’s just a hobby for him (one he’s insanely good at); but in moments like these, you can tell that he’s way more into art and art theory and history than he lets on. 
Huge movie guy, from animated movies to martial arts movies, Jean is usually willingly to give anything a watch at least once. When he’s high, he can go on about his favorite directors and art styles and movie details for hours if you don’t stop him. It’s super cute. Just don’t bring up Moana, because he’ll start crying. 
Arm around the shoulder kind of boyfriend for sure. It’s a casual way of keeping you near him and letting everyone know that you guys are together. Plus it allows for him to easily pull you into him for a quick forehead kiss when needed.
Listen. If you hug his arm, he’s on cloud nine. He tries to be nonchalant about it but he’s about three seconds away from his eyes rolling back in his head it feels that good to him. Bonus if you lean your head on his bicep a little—then he’s a goner.
He takes his bagels very seriously and believes that both you and him deserve nothing but the best quality bagels. He’ll grumble if a bakery gives you guys a less than favorable one and make a note that taking the long route to get to his favorite place is much more worth it.
Always makes you walk on the side furthest from the cars. If he notices you’re not, he’ll just shuffle behind you until he’s shouldering the street and you’re on the inside. 
He grew up on a kind of modern ranch situation; not exactly all the way in the countryside, but not isolate from the city, either. Because of this, he knows how to ride horses, take care of smaller farm animals, tend to plants, and yes he knows how to use a lasso. You wouldn’t know any of that though, because he never ever talks about it. The only way you find out is when he takes you to visit his mom’s house for the first time, and she asks him for a hand around the place. 
(He’s got a cowboy hat, too, but refuses to put it on. He got it when he was, like, nine, okay, leave him alone). 
When he thinks you look tired, he’ll wrap his arms around your shoulders to hug you. It’s usually followed up with a kiss to your head, and a promise that you guys will go home soon and get food on the way. 
He’s a really good cook. He just understands and flavors and pairings really well, so he doesn’t need a recipe to make something that tastes good; he just kind of knows what to add to get the balance he’s looking for. 
Naturally, he’ll cook for you. Especially if he finds out that you haven’t eaten all day/in a long time. He doesn’t care if it’s 11pm and it might seem excessive to make steak and potatoes with a side salad at this hour, he’s gonna do it to make sure you eat, and you are going to sit there and watch. 
He also bakes pretty well, though he isn’t as experimental with his baking as he is with his cooking. He usually sticks to what he knows, and it’s not cupcakes and brownies and cakes; he’s better at croissants, and cheesecakes, and canelés. 
Dating Jean means getting along with his friends. If you guys didn’t know each other before you started dating, be prepared to be ambushed by Connie and Sasha (after Jean stops hiding you away and gives them the green light lmfao). Neither of them waste time with the small talk and formalities; straight into mini golfing and beer pong. They make you feel welcome right away.
Sasha always teases that you’re too good for Jean, and that she might just steal you away for herself some day. Sasha is also Jean’s main confidant, so she really knows just how much he loves you, and yeah, she teases him for being lovesick, but really she’s happy for Jean. And proud of him for facing his feelings like this. 
Connie adores you, and you know he trusts you when he starts going to you for advice/help. Could be anything from schoolwork, to what color he should get his new shoes in. He’s also the one who, surprisingly, you have the sentimental talks with about your relationship with Jean. It’s easy to overlook, but Connie loves Jean, and he’s come to love you too; he just wants you both to be happy, so he’s there to listen when you need it. 
Jean waits outside of your classroom after you’ve had a test or presentation, usually with a drink or a snack, or the promise of taking you out as a treat. Always tells you he’s proud of you, and is there to comfort you if you think you didn’t do too well. 
He does not shut up about whatever major you’re in. It could be the same as his; it could be the complete opposite as his. He thinks it’s so sick that you’re doing it, you make it look cooler, you make it look better, and he’s certain you’re the smartest person in your program. 
He’s pretty serious about his studies, too, so he’s always down to study with you in the library whenever you’re both free. More often than not, he shows up after you, usually with food or extra chargers. He greets you with a kiss on the forehead, and asks you how you are while massaging your shoulders gently. If it’s been a while since you took a break, that’s the first item on the list, after that, he gets to work and stays with you until you’re ready to go, even if he doesn’t have as much work to do. 
He always sits across from you. This goes for when you’re in the library, or out to eat at a restaurant; Jean loves sitting across from you. He gets to see your face the best that way, and he adores looking into your eyes when you talk. 
He’s not... not a morning person. He’s not up at 6am ready to grind, but he wakes up before noon; let’s say 10am is his happy medium. That being said, if you wake up before him, regardless of the time, there’s a 9/10 chance he’ll lay on your back and tell you to hush so you guys can sleep for 10 more minutes. 
If you’re (close) friends with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, Jean is... happy you’ve got people to rely on, but, “Of all people on the planet, you put your trust in Jaeger?” He acts so bitter (because he is), but deep down inside, he’s glad you have Eren to rely on if you need to. 
(Also, you have to humble him and remind him that he and Eren aren’t all that different. If you like him, why wouldn’t you get along with Eren, bye). 
Turns out though, that it’s not Eren who threatens to beat him up if he breaks your heart. It’s not even Mikasa, although, her threat goes without saying; it’s Armin he’s terrified of.
The last time Armin hated someone, it was this guy in your program, who happened to share a few mutual classes with him, too. Jean never knew the full story, just that he’s pretty sure that kid dropped out the following semester. 
If you have a job on campus, Jean usually doesn’t show up while you’re working (knowing how embarrassed he would be if you did that to him), unless you work the night shift and it’s dead. Connie, however, does show up; usually in some kind of crisis (“Please help me, I don’t know what the fuck APA formatting is and this is due tonight, please, please, please!!”). Your coworkers actually thought Connie was your boyfriend for a minute. That’s when Jean starts showing up more lmfao.
He makes it a point to go on a scheduled, night out, kind of date at least twice a month. He knows life gets busy with school and work and midterms, but he always makes sure you both set side a time to take a well-deserved break and be with each other. 
He’s the romantic type, so these dates are pretty swoon worthy, too. Drive-in movies, nice dinners, classy art exhibits, Jean plans it all. On that note, he really likes planning dates; he just doesn’t like talking about them with his friends beforehand. 
All in all, very romantic, very precious boyfriend. He’s always thinking about you, what you need, and how he can help you out. You’re one of his main priorities, and he just wants to treat you right. 
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lilysdaydreams · 4 years
Text
Praise Bingus (No fucking way)
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→  I do not claim to know corpse- therefore please don't think that this is what he would actually act like, or that any details about his life are actually true. this is fiction.
→ Pairing: Corpse Husband X Fem!Reader
→ Genre: Angst and fluff. (FLUFF IS COMING I SWEAR)
→ Words: 3.9k
→ In a world where everyone is born with a mark on their wrist, two souls come together over the power of bingus.
→ (this isnt crack lol)
→ Warnings: Lots of swearing, um self-depreciation? rejection (kinda) and negative thoughts overall. Sorry im new to warnings.
→ Authors Note: this is the first time im doing like angst so please tell me if I did well? Um also, I’ve already started on the part 2 so keep your eyes out for that. If you wanna be tagged for part two please comment and lemme know. Also check out my other fics if you want!
→ Buy me a coffee
Part two  →    
~~~
Soulmates were a phenomenon. They'd been there for ages, drawn into the Egyptian tomb paintings, seen in the cave paintings from millions of years ago, talked about in stories passed down from generation to generation. They could be matching drawings, first words, names; all black before the soulmates met and turning gold the moment they talked to each other. There wasn't a scientist in the world who could explain the phenomenon.
You'd received your mark at birth just like everyone else, a sentence running around your wrist,
"No fucking way."
Your parents weren't that happy when you asked at the age of 4 what "fucking" meant but it wasn't that bad. You were happy that you had something unique, something other than the "Hi," or "Excuse me," that was on every other arm.
When you were 13, a little girl on the train pointed to your wrist and asked her mom what it meant. Ever since then, you'd taken to wearing bracelets over it. This had turned out to be a good idea because a few years later you started making Youtube videos. At the age of 16, you started a Youtube channel where you focused on a variety of things; makeup, fashion, games, art, skits and a whole lot more.
At the age of 20, you had a steady following of a little more than a million subscribers, and you had moved to LA to be closer to all your Youtube friends. You hadn't just grown on Youtube, you'd also started a lot of side projects. You were known for the art that you did on the side, along with the makeup palette you'd come out with a year ago. Soon you were planning to release a merch collection, one that you had been working on for a whole year now.
You hadn't met your soulmate at this point but honestly, you didn't really mind. Balancing Youtube and study (along with all your other side projects) was hard. There was no need to add the struggle of love into it... Or that's what you told yourself anyways.
There were days though, days where you wished you had someone to hug, someone to cuddle in bed with, someone to go on long walks with. You didn't let yourself wallow on it that long though. Crying about it was gonna do absolutely nothing.
It started on a rainy day. The story of you and him. You were editing your soon to be uploaded video, an e-girl outfits lookbook, which had been requested by your followers. Your personal style was all over the place and your previous soft girl and cottage care look books had done well, so you decided to continue the series.
You eyes blurred as you looked at the same point of the video, and you sighed, removing your glasses and rubbing your eyes. Your editor was sick and had let you know that they wouldn't be able to edit it by the deadline so here you were, editing it yourself. You stretched in your chair letting out a yawn. You were contemplating on whether to make coffee or not when your phone pinged.
"Nooooo" you whined when you noticed it was on the coffee table that was just a little out of your reach. Stretching your foot out, you tried to grab it between your toes and then sighed when the phone fell.
"I have zero luck, I swear" you muttered to yourself, bending to pick up the phone.
The text was from Rae, asking you to join a game of Among Us. You and Rae had been friends for a bit now, which all started when she came across your art and decided to order something from you. You had chatted and clicked immediately, immediately becoming fast friends. Ever since the lockdown started, she often asked you to join in on Among us games and your friendship had really grown over these past few months.
You sent a quick "sure!" and then went to your table, waiting for the PC to turn on. Quickly tweeting out that you were streaming, you opened up Youtube and turned on the stream, saying a quick hello and letting them know what you'd be doing.
"Rae just invited me guys, I don't really know who's there," you mumbled, replying to a comment asking you who you were playing with.
You squinted your eyes, joining the voice chat and then opening your phone camera to quickly check that you didn't look horrible. Sure you didn't really care about how you looked but it was always good to check that you didn't have anything stuck between your teeth before you turned on the camera.
There was already a conversation going on, between who you thought was Corpse and Sykkuno, judging by their voices.
"Yeah I could totally do that. Get a cat and name it Bingus. I wonder if th-"
You gasped when you heard what they were talking about and unmuted yourself immediately yelling "PRAISE LORD BINGUS" and effectively shocking everyone in the chat.
A moment of silence and then Rae yelled: "OH MY FUCKING GOD Y/N, YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME."
You giggled as everyone groaned and whined, saying hi as they realised who it was. You had played with Sykkuno and the others a few times before but you'd never met Corpse before. You'd heard his voice though, as he was trending on twitter constantly over the past few weeks. Once they all quietened down, you realised Corpse hadn't said anything. Since you knew everyone else in the lobby, you introduced yourself, wondering if you'd scared him a bit too hard.
"Hey Corpse, I'm Y/N from Y/C/N, its so nice to finally meet you," you said gritting your teeth at you awkward introduction. For a second there was no response and then three words were said that made your jaw drop to the floor.
"No fucking way"
He had whispered it, obviously still in shock, and your eyes widened in surprise as a tingle spread all over your body. So this was what everyone meant by "you'll just know," when you asked them about how you would recognize your soulmate.
"Holy shit" you thought frozen in your seat.
Never had you been more glad that you hadn't turned the camera on yet.
"Uhhhh-" you started, but stopped now knowing what to say.
What the fuck were you supposed to do now.
"Wha- Whats wrong?" Rae asked after a moment passed.
Corpse cleared his throat and started "Its um, shes my -" and you cut him off, heart beating in your chest.
"Nothing. Its nothing." you said talking over him. "Who else are we waiting for Rae?" you asked joining the lobby quickly and choosing red as your colour.
"Uh one more person," she said slowly, still a bit confused.
"Oh awesome!" you said fake enthusiasm prevalent in your voice. "So Sykkuno," you started, wanting to keep the conversation going. "How's Bimbus doing?"
Sykkuno launched into a story of Bimbus and you blew out a sigh of relief, mind still numb over the revelation.
Corpse was your soulmate.
The guy who had literally went viral the past few weeks was your soulmate.
You'd finally found him.
You heard Rae cut Sykkuno off, telling everyone she was starting the game and muttered a "Thank god" when the words "CREWMATE" appeared on your screen. You would not have been able to play imposter at the moment, your mind pretty much stuck on the fact that Corpse was your fucking soulmate.
Heading down to admin, you realised you hadn't said anything yet to the stream so you quickly turned on your cam, saying a quick sorry to the viewers.
"Sorry guys, I forgot to put the camera on," you smiled focusing on card swipe.
"I hope everyone's been okay, I know this was quite sudden, but Rae invited me and I was like why not you know," you said rambling as you moved to comms and did the task there.
Lights were called and you moved to electrical, arriving there just as Leslie fixed them. You moved into the back of electrical doing the three tasks you had there when Sykkuno suddenly came in and went straight to standing on top of the vent.
You giggled already knowing his trick.
"Okay guys," you mumbled watching Sykkuno wiggle on the vent. "do we trust Sykkuno or not?"
"You know what," you said making a split second decision. "Its the first game, we might as well."
Joining him on the vent, you stilled for a second and then breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't automatically kill you.
"See, what did I tell you guys huh?" you question smiling straight at the camera. "I knew Sykkuno could be trusted."
You decided to follow Sykkuno going into reactor with him and starting 'Simon says' and just as you were on the last part, a body was found making you let a whine out.
"Guysss," you whined to the camera as Rae started talking about how she had found Daves body in admin.
"Um, I havent been in admin since the start of the game," you said, "also I can clear Sykkuno, for the last part of the round, he's been with me since lights went out."
Sykkuno confirmed it, "Yup that's right, also I can hard clear Y/N cuz guess what? She stood on the vent with me and none of us died."
Everyone chuckled as he said "Thats good enough for me."
"Uh, I was in navigation mostly." said Lily.
"Poki, can I just ask what you were doing?" said Sean, an undercurrent of mirth present.
"Me?" asked Poki speaking for the first time. "What was I doing?"
"You weren't doing any tasks, you were literally just walking from one side of medbay to the other when I peeked in."
Poki started laughing, trying to get her words out at the same time.
"Okay so-" a giggle. "okay okay- I was just, I was trying to um do the beep test," she said finally breaking down and making everyone else laugh as well.
"What the fuck?" you said, laughing at the image in your mind.
"My chat told me to do it last game so I decided to do it now, I was literally just playing around," she said finally, adding "I swear I'm not imposter" at the end.
"Hmmm," you hummed, bringing a hand up to stroke your chin. "Are you sure it was last game Poki... hm...."
Giggling at Poki indignant "YES it was last game", you quickly skipped voting like everyone else as the timer went into the last ten seconds.
Humming a tune under your breath, you went back to reactor, taking a minute to carefully do Simon says and then moved to the other task counting out one two three as you pressed on the numbers. Humming, you moved out of reactor, only to come face to face with Corpse. You paused for a second, and then moved ahead, refusing to show anything on camera. For some reason he followed you as you went to storage, looking at you while you did the trash.
"Why is he just staring?" you mumbled, biting your lip. God, you really didn't wanna think of him right now. You started walking to shields, him still walking with you when lights were called and not a second later a body was reported.
Suddenly there was screaming your ears as Toast and Rae both started accusing each other.
"Wait- Wait WAIT" yelled Poki trying to get them to stop. "What happened?"
"I'll explain" declared Rae, not letting toast get a word in. "We were in navigation okay, me, Toast and Leslie. Lights went out, and suddenly a report buttons there. It's either Toast or someone came in just as lights went out and killed but that doesn't seem likely because I didn't see anyone anywhere near us at all. Anyways I'm fucking telling the truth guys, its Toast, he's the one who did it."
"Toast, do you have anything to say for yourself?" asked Corpse, his voice making your insides shiver.
"Holy shit, this is my soulmate", you thought for the fiftieth time.
"Uh yeah," replied toast. "I didn't do it."
Everyone laughed as he continued.
"Like seriously, I wouldn't do anything like this because it'd be a stupid move from my own part, and I think Raes smart enough to not do this as well. I think someone else came in just as lights went down and killed immediately, which to be honest, was pretty smart of them."
"Okay so I can clear Corpse," you cut in noticing the timer was close. "he was with me in weapons when it happened, he wouldn't have had time to go all the way up, or even vent there because we were literally walking in."
"Yup that's right," confirmed corpse.
"I'm in cafeteria" said Poki.
"Yeah, I saw her on my way to weapons," said Sykkuno, "and I'm in weapons right now,"
"I'm in lower engine" said Sean, and Lily said she was in reactor.
"I think it's Toast," you mumbled and then rose your voice to talk over everyone. "Look okay fine, maybe he said it was a stupid move and he wouldn't do it but maybe he did it for that exact reason. He thought he could get away with it because no one would expect him to do something like that."
As the timer started going down by 10, you voted for Toast and it turned out 3 had skipped the vote while five had voted for him.
damn.
"Guys you actually voted for him?" you said in a high voice, re-enacting one of Sykkunos most said lines.
You heard a "oh for gods sake" from Rae before everyone went silent and you giggled as you moved back down to weapons to do your tasks.
You finished all your tasks and decided to go to security to check where everyone is. Humming as you moved through the electrical hallway, you narrowed your eyes as Corpse came out of electrical and went towards storage. Quickly ducking in you didn't see a body so you headed back out, going into cams and gasping as you saw the body. Reporting immediately you were shocked to see the four kills that had happened. Now only you, Corpse, Sean and Rae were left.
"Oh my god," you mumbled confused. Either there were still two imposters, and Toast wasn't the imposter or the imposter literally killed and did nothing else. Now either that could mean that its definitely Rae if Toast wasn't the imposter, or that it was Corpse as the only imposter left. That was a bit weird though becuase he could have totally killed you at the start of the game. You didn't suspect Sean at all.
"What the fuck?" mumbled Corpse, and Rae made her animal noises expressing her shock.
"Okay," you said taking charge and relaying the kill and your theory to everyone. "So either it was Toast and there's only one other imposter, who is Corpse. Or Toast wasn't an imposter and there's two of them left. I-" you took a deep breath in at the end, very confused. " I don't know anymore,"
"I think its Corpse as well,"
Corpse who hadn't said anything up till this moment suddenly started stammering out "hey-hey uh let-lets not gang up on me okay. It's not-"
"No, wait, its because Y/N said you came out of electrical right, and I saw you in upper engine literally a bit ago and you went down. I went towards cafeteria so I don't know exactly where you went but its totally possible that you killed."
You voted form him after that, convinced it was Corpse, and the other followed quickly.
"Guys what the fuck, at least give me a chance to explain my self" he whined when his body was thrown off the ship seconds later. You cheered when the "VICTORY" sign was displayed across the screen, bringing up your chat and laughing at Toast as he pretended to be angry at me.
"That was a great round, good work Y/N"
"Thankyou" you mumbled staring at your chat. You were confused when you saw the absolute influx of messages on there, and you were barely able to read them because they were going so fast. You scrolled up, and read through the few of the messages;
"You've made corpse sad."
"Corpse has literally been so quite since you came in, can you leave."
"Omg stop with the hate messages, its not her fault if corpse isn't talking to you"
"are you his ex or something? What was that reaction at the start?"
"what did you do? Corpse literally hasn't said a word since you came in."
"Um..."
Corpse POV
Corpses heart stopped for a minute, his breath catching. The words on his wrist glowed gold, and he stared at the little red character standing there.
This person was the reason that he had "PRAISE BINGUS" stretched across his wrist.
They were the only reason that he had searched "Bingus" on google for all of his life. The only reason Corpse knew about the meme before anyone else was because he was constantly monitoring the word online. Ever since March, he had been waiting with bated breath, anxious that he could meet his soulmate at any moment. and here you were.
For some reason, he had never expected that he would meet you in among us, or while he was on stream. He always thought it'd be someone outside. It was a bit stupid in hindsight as all he did nowadays was play among us.
He heard you introduce yourself to him but the only thing that came out of his mouth was “No fucking way”.
Immediately after he wanted to slap himself.
“Idiot” he thought to himself. “At least try to make a good impression.”
When Rae asked what was wrong, heat sprung to his cheeks as he started revealing that they were soulmates, but Y/N cut him off, saying that it was nothing.
Corpse’s heart sank a little then.
'Maybe she’s just a private person,' he reasoned with himself.
'I shouldn’t have tried to say it on stream either. God, I’m a fucking idiot, if I said it, literally everyone would know and not only would I have hated the attention, she probabaly would have as well.'
Convincing himself that she was right, he reassured himself that it wasn’t because of him. She wasn’t revealing it because she probably didn't want all the attention.
For some reason though, his heart sank even more when Y/N didnt talk to him, instead talking to sykkuno about his dog. Like sure he could understand not wanting to reveal they were soulmates but shouldn’t she at least wanna talk to him? At this point he wouldn’t even mind if she talked about his voice like everyone else.
He groaned when the word "Imposter" came across his screen, his and Toasts character standing together. He was not in the right mindset right now to be able to be a good imposter. Breathing in deeply he continued in the game, with the first round passing by quick. The second round, he saw Y/N and stood with her for a bit wondering if he should kill her. Her red character moved to weapons and he sighed moving the mouse over the kill button. Just as he was thinking of clicking a body was found. Corpse swore as Toast flew off the ship. Deciding he needed to speed it up he killed four people in the round, hissing when the meeting was called. The moment Y/N accused him, he knew it was over. He didn't even bother defending himself much, just hoping the game would end soon.
When they were in the lobby, he quickly told everyone that he was going to leave because his internet was acting up. Turning off the stream after saying a quick thank you to everyone, he leaned back in his seat breathing through his nose.
What the fuck was his life.
Even his soulmate didnt want him. Honestly, he should have expected this. Abandoned at 12 with no one around him, why did his expect his soulmate to even give a fuck about him. Tears pricked his eyes and he blinked trying to get rid of them. He breathed in deeply, grabbing the water on the table and taking a big gulp. He had never hated himself more than he did right now. Why couldnt he have an easier life.
“Why cant I just fucking be NORMAL” he yelled throwing the empty bottle of water at the wall.
Throwing himself into bed, he scrunched up his eyes, hoping that sleep would come today, not noticing as his phone lit up with a single message.
Your POV
You stayed for another game and then ducked out apologizing and making an excuse up.
"Sorry it was such a short stream, everyone," you said pouting at the camera. "It was fun though so hopefully I get to do it again." Waving goodbye, you turned off the camera and leaned your head back staring at the ceiling.
What the actual fuck.
Grabbing your phone, you stared at it for a bit. Everything that you had pushed to the back of your mind in the game, was suddenly in the forefront.
The only thing you knew about Corpse was that he had a really deep voice, he narrated horror movies, and he maybe did music?
'Rae mentioned that once right?' you thought to yourself.
You unlocked the phone and then locked it again, too scared to actually do anything.
Unlocked.
Locked.
Unlocked.
Locked.
"Oh get a grip," you muttered to yourself, opening the phone and sending a text to Rae.
‘Hey Rae, do you have corpses number? Do you mind sending it to me, I need to tell him something.’
A reply came in a minute,
‘umm, why. he's pretty private so idk i don't rlly wanna give his number if he doesn't want someone to have it’
You sighed, and decided you might as well tell her. You knew Rae wouldn't betray your trust.
‘He's my soulmate’
Immediately a ‘AHDJHAKJKAGDAK’ came as a reply and you giggled at the string of emojis after it.
‘Don't tell anyone,’ you sent quickly, trying to calm her down.
‘Okay okay, its XXX - XXX - XXXX, ASHAGDH IM DYING OMG. GO TALK TO HIM.’
Biting your lip you added Corpse into your contacts hesitating before putting a small black heart next to his name.
"Already simping," you mumbled under your breath, hands hovering over the keyboard as you struggled to think of what to write.
You finally decided on 'Hey, its Y/N, can I call?' thinking that something short would be the best way to go. Hand hovering over the send button, you sucked in a breath and pressed it, waiting with bated breath.
A minute passed.
And then five.
And then, without you even you realising, it'd been half an hour of you just looking at your phone.
An hour later, you were slumped on your desk, eyes closed and snoring lightly, the phone still open, the message you sent lighting up the screen.
tbc.
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Text
Unrequited pt. 2
azriel (acotar) x reader
*this is part 2! Sorry for the wait guys! I really struggled with this and low-key I don’t like it but I hope y'all do! I wanna write the scenes after this but idk how im gonna make it work lol. anyway, enjoy!
word count: 3193
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What you hadn’t realized was that Azriel left a few minutes later, walking to your apartment to make sure you had gotten home safe.
All of a sudden he heard whimpers and labored breathing coming from the alley.
Nothing could have prepared him for the sight of you laying on the ground and bleeding out. He felt a tug in his chest. A click. Panic instilled in him as he gently but swiftly picked you up and flew you to Madja.
“Hang on y/n, you’re so strong” he whispered
In those moments, he feared for you. Fear that was so strong. Something he had never felt before.
He rushed into the house laying you on the bed gently before he was shoved out by the Madja so she could try to save you.
Azriel alerted the others and then collapsed into a chair, sitting in silence. A tear slipped out of his eye at the thought he may have been too late to save you.
You. His mate.
Why, of all the times did the bond have to click while you were on the brink of death. In a situation where you may not make it out alive. It wasn’t fair.
He wondered if you had known. Could that be the reason why you had been distancing yourself from him? Because you didn’t expect or want him to be your mate? But if you had known you would’ve said something, right? You wouldn’t keep it a secret? So many thoughts kept racing through his head.
Could it have been because of Elain? He knew the inner circle wasn’t stupid, they all saw him drifting more and more to Elain. Could that have been why you had distanced yourself? He would be lying if he said he didn’t like Elain, but he would also be lying if he said he didn’t like you.
Your stubbornness. Your generosity. Your sense of adventure. The way you could get lost in the things you did.
Suddenly the door swung open and the others came into the room, worry written all over their faces.
Azriel could tell that Cassian and Mor had been crying on the way there.
“How bad is it?” Mor shook as she spoke. You could see the pain in her eyes. The worry she had for someone who was basically her sister.
Azriel’s expression was unreadable and he didn’t respond.
“Do you think she will make it?” Feyre asked, grief evident in her posture. “I- I don’t know” Azriel answered, “It was pretty bad,” he said quietly.
Just as he answered, Madja appeared from the other room. “She’s in rough shape, I don’t know if she’s gonna make it through the night. She lost a lot of blood.”
The room grew eerily quiet
“She’s stable for now, but I will stay here and notify you if any changes occur.”
---------------------------------
Rhys, Feyre, Amren, and Elain went back to the townhouse to try and get as much rest as they could. Mor, Cassian, and Azriel decided to stay in your room with you.
Tears started slipping from Cassian’s eyes once he saw your fraile body lying in bed, barely hanging on.
“Oh mother” Mor sobbed out, a hand slipping over her mouth. She went over to the bed you were on, gently sitting on it and grabbing to hold your hand. She leaned against the headboard and watched as your chest heaved.
The trio sat in silence for some time, watching your every move, your breathes, whimpers, and shifts.
Azriel broke the silence.
“She’s my mate. All this time and I never knew.”, the sentence coming out as a whisper.
Shock was painted on Mor’s face. “Y/n’s your mate? How di-? When?”
“It clicked when I saw her body lying there.” his voice started breaking “Why did it have to happen right now. Of all the times. Why couldn’t it have happened months ago. I could’ve had more time. This never would have happened. How do I move on from this?” his voice ending on a whisper.
“All you can do is hope to mother that she has the strength to pull through.” Cassian replied softly. “You know, this whole situation is so ironic.”, he said softly to himself, lightly shaking his head.
Azriel gave Cassian a look of confusion, wondering what he was talking about, but decided to drop it for now.
“Anyway, let’s try to get some sleep and pray the morning holds better news”
Mor had dozed off, back against the headboard and hand still holding yours. Cassian was sitting in the chair, head resting on the palm of his head, it still took him a few hours to fall asleep completely. Azriel, however, couldn’t sleep. The thought of sleeping while you laid like this. He felt guilty, the feeling that he may have been too late. For the rest of the night, Azriel sat in a chair next to your bed, shrouded in darkness, hoping you would be ok.
---------------------------------
Sunlight peeked through the sheer blinds over the balcony door. The faint sound of birds singing flowed through the air. Light shined onto your face, causing you to groan. Groggily, you opened your eyes, blinking to adjust to the light filling the room. Your head pounded and you winced as you shifted in bed.
“Y/n?” you heard a whisper. You mumbled in response. “Oh! Thank mother you’re alright! We were all so worried for you. Wait, let me call Madja now that you’re up.” Mor rambled on causing you to smile slightly. “CASSIAN!” she squealed “Wake up! Look! Y/n is awake!”
Cassian jumped to his feet at her shout. “Oh my god!” he ran over to your side “I was so worried, I’m so glad you’re alright” he said, taking your hand into his. “Let me go call the others, they’ve been waiting for an update.”
Soon after, the rest of the inner circle came over to your room to check in and Madja came to see how you were healing.
“That was quite the wound you had. Make sure to rest for the next two weeks. No buts, we don’t want this opening back up from stress or straining activity.”. You groaned at the thought.
“But I feel fine now, it’s not a big deal! I can go back to doing my duties in 2 days. I’ll be good as new.” you pleaded, trying to convince Madja and yourself. Before she could respond, Rhys cut in.
“You will do nothing of the sort. You just got stabbed for cauldrons sake, if i catch you trying to do anything remotely straining, i’ll lock you in your room and have Cassian stand guard in front of it”
“Fine” you grumbled out
“Now that everything is settled, i’ll be coming to check on you every few days.” Madja states before leaving
After a little more small talk was exchanged, the inner circle decided to leave you to rest a bit more, but promised they would visit you as frequently as they could.
Except, one person stayed behind.
Azriel.
“Can I talk to you?”
“Is something wrong?” you asked
After a hesitant pause his voice rang out. “We’re mates.”
You felt a blow to your chest. When did he find this out? As if Azriel had read your thoughts, he responded “Last night. After I found you.”
“Oh”
“But, Cassian said something, how it was ironic, and I can’t help but wonder how long you’ve known”
“I-, I told Cassian that we were mates yester-”
“But how long have you known y/n.” his voice quiet and sharp as a knife, as if tendrils of anger were waiting to escape
“Since the diplomatic mission Rhys sent us on”, you whispered. You could feel the tears threatening to fall from your eyes
“That was months ago and you didn’t think to tell me?” You could feel the anger in his voice
“I thought you would have figured it out sooner. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry” tears started falling from your eyes
“You knew and said nothing. Why didn’t you say anything? You should have said something” he seethed. His anger was unhinged, a drastic change for the usually calm and collected shadowsinger.
“If you didn’t want to be my mate just tell me. I’d be glad to be rid of the bond.”. As soon as he said it, he regretted it. His anger dissipated. He looked up and saw your face, tears streaming down.
“I see the way you look at Elain, Azriel. I’m not some stupid fucking female. How do you think it feels to see your mate all over someone else. I wanted to give you a chance to find your own happiness without me burdening you with this. And if we’re being honest, if you had to choose between me or her, you would choose her. I knew you would be disappointed by me. I knew you wouldn’t want to be my mate, that's why I didn’t tell you.” your anger started boiling up. “Do you think it feels good to be rejected, especially by someone you’ve loved for a long time? I didn’t want you to be disappointed that I was your mate, the person you’ve waited so long for.” your voice tapered off at the end. “Can you leave please” you said softly
“No, wait, I’m sorry I-“
“Azriel. Get out.” your voice boomed through the room.
He left reluctantly, softly shutting the door behind him. Just as the door shut, the sobs that you had been desperately trying to hold back broke free. Your body shuddered as you hugged yourself, crying yourself back to sleep.
---------------------------------
During the following weeks, you avoided Azriel at all costs. As soon as he walked into the room, you would walk out. Any required conversations were kept short. You did anything you could to keep your mind off of him, cleaning, errands, hell you did it all. It certainly didn’t help your recovery, but you did what you could to keep your mind busy and off of Azriel.
“Y/n stop please. You need to rest, how many times do we have to tell you. You’re only making the healing process longer” Mor ranted on.
“I’m fine, I doubt a wound, which is almost healed by the way, would be damaged by me doing chores” you emphasized as you rolled your eyes
“Maybe not by chores, but it is affected by your stress”
A moment of silence passed.
“He feels terrible, you know, he didn’t mean to say it. He just wants to talk to you.”. Mor didn’t risk saying his name because she knew it would only anger you more.
“Well I don’t want to talk to him, or deal with him, or see him, or think about him. At all.”. You grumbled. Your heart clenched, but you brushed it aside.
“Y/n, please. I love you two and it hurts to see our family like this right now.”
“Please, can we drop it, I-“ your voice cracked
“Yeah, of course. Just… keep an open mind, maybe?”
“Yeah, ok” you looked down.
“I’ll see you later tonight then, for Rhys and Feyre’s dinner party.”
“Sounds good.”. You pressed your lips into a tight smile as you watched Mor walk off. You had definitely contemplated not going today. All of the inner circle certainly knew what happened, maybe not all the details, but still enough, which made you feel exposed. You weren’t use to having your emotions splayed out to everyone like that, and it made you too vulnerable. However, Mor had threatened to pull you to the party herself if you refused to go, so being complicit seemed like the best option.
It was just one night. You would be fine… right?
---------------------------------
It was nearing 8 as you finished getting ready for the party, which started at 8:30. You were wearing an olive green silk midi dress. It wasn’t anything too fancy, but it was still very elegant. And comfortable. You were touching up as Mor arrived.
“Ah, there she is, beautiful as ever.”
“I could say the same about you, darling” you emphasized
“Are you ready to go, I heard the party is getting started, and you know I wouldn’t want to miss all the cocktails”
A laugh mused on your face. You grabbed your purse before the pair of you winnowed to the house.
You arrived at the front door, scanning the scene when you got there. It was a cozy ballroom with french doors which opened up to a huge balcony leading to the gardens. There was a huge dining table in the center with plenty of space to mingle in clusters.
You hadn’t spotted Azriel yet, a sigh of relief leaving your body. You strutted in, arms linked with Mor, grabbing a drink off the platter. You weren’t even sure who or what this party was for, but you realized you had downplayed it after spotting Helion and Tarquin. The high lords in Velaris. But that was the least of your concerns, the only thing you were focused on was avoiding Azriel.
Spotting Feyre near Helion, you breezed over to say hi.
“Ah! Y/n! Helion, i’m sure the two of you have met a few times before!” Feyre smiled out
“Yes, I do remember you! I heard about what happened, how are you feeling?” He asked
“Much better than the last few weeks, that’s for sure. Although I must say, this alcohol is certainly helping” you giggled. “Well I just wanted to pop over and say hi, but I think I’m gonna go find Cassian now. It was so nice to see you again Lord Helion, enjoy your evening.”
“You too Miss Y/L/N”
You dipped your head towards the both of them before making your way through the room to find Cassian. Where was he for caldrons sake. You hadn’t seen him in a week because he had to go up to the illyrian war camps again. Pushing your way through the crowd, you bumped into a hard chest, spilling your champagne. Cursing to yourself, you started to apologize.
“Oh mother, I’m so so sorry, clums-“. Looking up your y/e/c eyes met strong hazel ones, which were burning into your soul. You felt your throat close up, starting to feel trapped in the crowed room
No no no no. This couldn’t be happening. Not now.
You knew it was only a matter of time before you would have to talk to him, but you couldn’t do it now. Before he could say a word, you pushed past him and bolted out to the balcony to get some fresh air. You had run to the corner, near the steps to the garden, out of sight from others. Taking deep breaths, you calmed your nerves. You would be ok, everything was fine. It would be fine. At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself.
You decided to quickly go grab another drink before returning to the serenity outside. Leaning against the balcony, you stared out at the stars and the gardens. They were so beautiful, even in the winter, you thought to yourself. You basked in the silence, your thoughts drowning you.
Some time had passed before you heard footsteps approaching you on the balcony. You knew who it was without having to turn around, but you still couldn’t bear to be around him. You turned to leave but his hand caught your wrist, holding it firmly. You could feel the scars from his hands against your skin.
“Please. I just want to talk”
“What’s there to talk about Azriel, you made your feelings clear that day.”
“Just listen, please, and then i’ll leave you alone if that’s what you wish”
You sighed, nodding your head in defeat. You couldn’t keep balling up your emotions.
He led you back to the railing of the balcony before his grasp left your wrist. You tilted your head down looking at your feet and fiddling with your thumb.
“I spent 500 years pining after Mor because I was so afraid of maybe having a chance at love. I thought it was best to love someone who would never love me back so I wouldn’t get hurt. Then I met Elain. She helped me to open up more, and helped me to believe that happiness would be possible for me, with someone. I had given up on the idea of having a mate. I didn’t think I deserved one. I was ok with that and had accepted that.”
He let out a breath as he ran his hand through his hair, light curls falling onto his forehead. “When I saw you lying there and the bond clicked, I was so mad at myself. I shut out the possibility of having a mate for so long. You were my mate. My mate. I never thought I would be able to say those words.”
He paused.
“I was mad that you may not make it. I was mad that I didn’t find you soon enough. I was mad that we didn’t have more time. I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. I Just wanted you to be ok. And then when you told me that you had known for so long, I was angry. Angry that I hadn’t realized sooner, and angry that you kept it from me because you may not have wanted me or expected me to be your mate. And I snapped. Then you said the thing that I had least expected. You said you had loved me” He chuckled dryly. “I am so sorry, y/n, so very sorry.”.
His hand reached down to cup your face. He jerked your head up so you were looking at him. “What i’m trying to say is that I love you, but I understand if you don’t feel the same way anymore”.
The air had been knocked from your lungs. Your heart swelled and your eyes watered. Before you had realized what you were doing, your lips crashed into his. His mouth fit perfectly against yours. He was a breath of fresh air with a hint of mint. Azriel’s hands gripped your waist, pulling you into his body and he smiled against your lips. It felt so right. Everything about it. Your heart was pounding out of your chest as you both pulled away, breathless. Your forehead rested against his.
You whispered just loud enough for him to hear.
“I love you too”. As soon as the words left your mouth, he pulled you in for another kiss, his wings forming a cocoon around you. This one was more demanding. Passionate. A promise. You pulled away from his mouth and leaned against him, his arms wrapping around you.
“Oh, I almost forgot.” Azriel said. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a small black box. “It’s your Solstice gift, I was trying to find a good time to give it to you.”, he scratched the back of his head.
You gently took it from his hand. The box had a red ribbon wrapped around. Undoing the ribbon, You opened the box to find one of the beautiful necklaces you had been admiring with Mor. “Oh my Az. Its so beautiful. I love it. How did you know?”
“I may have had my shadows follow everyone around to find out what they wanted.” he laughed out.
You smiled. “Will you help me put it on?”. Handing the dainty chain to Azriel, you brushed you hair aside. Baring your neck to him. His fingers ghosted the soft skin, clasping the necklace together. He tenderly placed a kiss next to your ear, causing butterflies to erupt.
You cleared your throat. “I think we’ve been gone long enough. Would you like to get some food, Azriel?” you smiled.
“I would love to, my darling mate.” he paused before darkly saying “I am especially excited for the part that comes after I eat.”. You lightly smacked his shoulder before the two of you made your way inside, beaming.
taglist ---
@minnie-mitzel @itsbebeyyy @preciousbabymuffins @kexrtiz @vicisbookishblog @peneflop @millianec @agentsofsheilds 
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lotti-lyric · 2 years
Note
Hi I just found your blog and I love it! Could I please have a romantic MHA male matchup?💕 (pronouns: she/her) I would be okay with any heroes / villians / students
I’m 22, I’m a Capricorn sun (cancer moon and libra rising) I have brown eyes and bright pink dyed hair - I love art like drawing and painting, art history, and baking!
I HATE bugs and I cry if one is ever near me lol. Other pet peeves: people walking really slow in front of me, people coughing in public without covering up
I’m very empathetic and always trying to lighten the mood and make people happy. I’m very chill and don’t have problems with anyone (unless they’re rude or mean to me or my friends) I can’t stand people who are rude ignorant. I’m super indecisive and need a lot of validation. A quirk someone gave me once was reality warping (kinda like the scarlet witch) and they said I would have like choatic / trickster type vibes (like loki) and that’s my dream quirk.
I’m b l i n d so always wearing my glasses haha also I love having a sense of humor. I also have anxiety and can be way too emotional sometimes. I’m an ENFP & also I love tie dye clothes, makeup, and everything pastel.
Sorry if this is way too much !!! thank you sm :)
charlotte’s interlude!!💗- AHHHH my first request!! hi love, tysm, it means the world!! i’m so glad you like my blog!! 💗😭 you sound like such a fun person oh my GOD!! all matchups and requests are open so feel free to send stuff in!! lots of love, thanks again!! 🌸🦋✨
warnings; food, swearing, anxiety mention, and bugs
i match you with…
Taishiro Toyomitsu (aka Fatgum!!)
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⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰
THIS SONG IS YALL ^^
SAID WHAT I SAID
oh my gosh so the first time you guys meet
talk about love at first SIGHT
he’s such a genuine and nice guy so he was LIVING for your empathy!! he saw you helping a stranger who had fallen over
first thing he noticed, def ur glasses!! HE THINKS THEYRE FUCKING ADORABLE OH MY GOD
once you guys are together bestie invest in some contacts bc he’s gonna be wearing those 90% of the time 💀
“Taishi, baby, I need those to SEE-“
“OH RIGHT IM SO SORRY BEAUTIFUL-“
before he even knows you very well, he’s already giving a lot of validation!! he’s always complimenting you on your makeup or your groovy asf tie dye fits!!
one of his biggest fears is that while using your quirk, you’ll get hurt or enter another reality altogether
he just wants to be with you 🥺
YALL GO TO THSOE POTTERY WHERE U PAINT THE LITTLE CERAMICS ALL THE TIME AND HES SO SHIT AT IT BUT DOZENS R ON THE SHELF OF UR APARTMENT
if it’s ok with you, he def appreciates your baking, especially for help with his quirk!! like it tastes fuckin fire and he needs to eat anyways!!
earned the title of the bug slayer!! they’re gone before you can even see them!! if you were to start crying, he would hold you and pet your hair (which he LOVES BTW), just understanding
“I know baby… it’s ok.. I won’t let anything get you!!”
he’s very very supportive and always makes sure you’re comfortable in every situation!!
he’s big on giving you hugs from behind and you guys definitely have “your song” together 🥺
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leejeongz · 4 years
Text
jealous treasure (asahi-junghwan)
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🔅i’m gonna use another member in each one because it’s easier than making up a whole new person and explaining a bit about them for each one if that makes sense. but this is just for fun, it’s fictitious, remember that pls🔅
find the other members here
🌷 asahi:
“it’s wednesday” junkyu announced. it wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to say whatever was in his brain, but today the other boys decided to humour him a little and asked him to elaborate.
“we should wear pink” he clarified as if everyone should know. asahi rolled his eyes, you’d been pestering asahi to tell junkyu to watch mean girls since well, forever, and that now he’d finally watched it, he wouldn’t shut up about it.
“but you’re not wearing any pink” asahi pointed out after scanning his whole body.
junkyu corrected him by fetching the hoodie he was expecting to wear. it was a soft, baby pink colour, with a little heart on the pocket right in the middle. asahi recognised it straight away.
“where did you get that?” he asked. junkyu couldn’t lie, he’d been caught red handed.
“from your closet” he confessed “but you always wear it and i thought i might look cute in it, can i wear it just for one day?” he begged with pleading eyes.
“hm let me think” asahi put his hand to his chin with sarcasm written all over his face “no” he snatched it from junkyu’s hands. “why would you wear y/n’s hoodie anyway?” he asked
“i-” junkyu stuttered “i didn’t know it was theirs” he said while assessing the situation “but are you really jealous right now? i didn’t know you were the type” he laughed, drawing the attention of the other members.
“no” he scoffed, “i’m not jealous, i just don’t think that they would want you wearing their hoodie. you smell” he spat out, turning his back and heading for his room.
“someone call y/n” junkyu said, wanting you to hear what a jealous man your boyfriend really is.
“don’t you have something better to do, like finding your own pink hoodie, you know, like the one you never take off your own back?” asahi snaps back, referring to the infamous pink hoodie from junkyu’s trademark outfit. as he leaves the living room, asahi takes a hesitant sniff at the jumper, hoping junkyu hasn’t infected it with his scent so much so that it no longer smells of you.
🍄 yedam:
having been stuck inside your house for what felt like a year, you were grateful and willing to accept any invitation to leave. today’s invite came from your boyfriend, yedam, who’d recently been too busy working to come and see you, which was completely understandable. he’d asked if you’d like to join him and a few of his friends on a walk around a nearby park, you of course said yes.
with beautiful scenery came the chance to take beautiful pictures. noticing that your boyfriend was too preoccupied by the ice cream van, you asked one of his friends, jeongwoo, to take a picture of you by the fountain. he agreed and instructed you on how to pose so that it wouldn’t look awkward. you followed his advice and managed to get a few shots. you walked back over to jeongwoo, who innocently stood with your phone in his hand, when you saw your boyfriend come rushing over.
“what are you doing with their phone?” he questioned “they let you take photos of them?” he spat out in a hurt manner.
“yes…” jeongwoo replied before you stepped in.
“how much are they?” you asked, pointing in the ice cream van’s direction, not understanding what all the commotion was about.
“apparently they’re all out of ice cream” he mocked “but why did you let him take photos of you? that’s my job” he pouted with a soft tone to his voice.
“ooo our yedam is all soft for y/n” jeongwoo jeered which, judging by the look yedam gave back to him, was not appropriate. “it was just 3 pictures” jeongwoo clarified “the model isn’t that easy to work with anyway, they have no fresh ideas of their own to spice up my business” he scoffed jokingly while handing your phone back to you, causing yedam to finally crack a smile.
“⅕ stars, pictures came out wonky and the photographer is bossy, unlike my lovely yedam” you smiled, playing into the joke. it wasn’t long before yedam was back to his usual cheerful self and had also finally decided that an iced tea was a good substitute for ice cream too.
🧶doyoung:
there was a lot of things in your house that didn’t make sense, but the worst was definitely the paintings hung up in your room that you’d never gotten around to taking down, mainly because you couldn’t reach them but shhh. you’d always been too shy to ask doyoung, knowing he’d laugh at you and tease you for being too short to reach them, and given you hadn’t been together for that long, you weren’t sure how much you’d appreciate that being your first inside joke.
a friend of yours, jihoon, had come over to your house while doyoung was there, which wasn’t exactly an issue, he knew you and jihoon were friends and he respected that. the three of you often gossiped and gamed together, it was a common thing these days.
“i tell you this every time im here but those are so ugly y/n, please take them down” jihoon glanced up, locking eyes with the spooky man in the painting and shuddering.
“i can’t reach” you joked, forgetting your boyfriend was also there.
“i’ll do it then” jihoon announced, standing up and reaching each painting easily.
“i could have done that” doyoung whispered under his breath while staring at you. you turned to your left to see your boyfriend's unimpressed face. “why did you let him do it?” he questioned, seeming really quite angry.
“he offered, i wasn’t gonna say no” you defended yourself. jihoon took this as his queue to leave and take the artwork elsewhere, he didn’t know where, but anywhere was better than being in that room with you two.
“is it because of his big muscles? is it because you value his opinion more than mine?” doyoung asked, laughing at his own thoughts and how ridiculous they were but possibly true.
“no” you rolled your eyes before making eye contact again “its because he offered” you repeated.
“and if i offered?” he asked, expecting you to say that you would have declined.
“obviously i would have said yes” you replied, “they were horrible i don’t care who got them down i just wanted them gone”
“oh” he sat back and relaxed into the pillow “well i’m glad they’re gone. i didn’t like to say it, but they were creepy” he laughed with you. “the next thing to go is him though” he joked, seeing jihoon walk back into your room, which of course was replied to with a scoff from your sassy friend.
💥haruto:
your sleeping pattern was well and truly out of the window, so you decided to stay up and call one of your friends that you knew would be awake, hyunsuk. he was just like you, you both slept at 4am and woke up at 2pm, so he wasn’t that shocked when you called, wide awake like him.
“where’s haruto? wasn’t he supposed to be staying at your place tonight?” he asked, genuinely concerned about his friend. you flipped the camera to show your bed, where a certain sleepy haruto lay, peacefully entering dreamland. “he’s so cute” hyunsuk giggled, you cooed in agreeance, he really was the cutest.
you stayed on call for about an hour. you were currently laughing about the tiktok he’d just sent to you, your humour was exactly the same too so it’s wasn’t hard for you to crack the other up. all the commotion woke your boyfriend, whose bed head was clearly visible in the reflection of your opened laptop when he sat up.
“did we wake you?” hyunsuk laughed upon hearing a groan from his friend.
“we?” haruto responded in a sleepy voice. “who’s we?”
“uhh us” you pointed between you and the phone.
“y/n? hyunsuk?” he snapped out of his sleepy state quickly. “why are you two up at this time and on the phone together?” you looked at hyunsuk on the screen and smiled, trying to hold in your laughter. “turn that off and come to bed, i want cuddles, and i want you to get some sleep, unlike him” he flung himself back at the bed, only inches away from hitting his head on the headboard.
“wait for me” hyunsuk joked in a teasing tone.
“no, not you” haruto whined. “just y/n please” he smiled closing his eyes and opening his arms, ready for you to join him.
“i guess this is goodnight then” you said to hyunsuk, which haruto followed up with a goodnight for his friend too before you put the phone down.
“now, cuddles please!”
♟jeongwoo:
for jaehyuk’s birthday this year, he asked for a small gathering, just close friends, which you of course are included in since you and jeongwoo had been together for over 2 years now. when you arrived, you quickly gauged the atmosphere of the party was pretty light and fun, it wasn’t oppressive in the slightest. usually parties you attended were fully kitted out with loud music, dimly lit rooms and a bunch of strangers in every room, instead your friends were in the living room, just chatting and laughing.
“you came!” jaehyuk screeched, running over to hug you. “oh and you bought a plus one, jeongwoo” he joked around with your boyfriend, who just rolled his eyes in response.
it wasn’t long before the boys delved into the games cupboard and pulled out the “who’s most likely to” box. the oldest of the boys shuffled the cards and took the top one which read “who’s the funniest”. whenever you played, this one always seemed to come out first, so you changed your answer every time to please everyone.
you turned around your board with the name “jaehyuk” written on it. your eyes scanned the room to see almost everyone had his name written on their boards, probably because it was his party after all. you quickly diverted your eyes away, however, when you saw that jeongwoo had written your name, which should have made you feel happy but instead, you felt quite guilty for not writing his.
the game went on, and your name wasn’t written on jeongwoo’s board ever again, despite you putting his for almost everything positive. the rest of the evening, jeongwoo didn’t come near you at all, everyone noticed, everyone questioned it, it was so obvious that he was jealous, but there was no way he was admitting to it.
as you got ready to leave, you glanced over at the boy who was supposed to be staying with you tonight, sat firmly in his place on the sofa.
“jeongwoo, aren’t you coming?” you shouted from the door. “jaehyuk is staying here so you don’t have to worry about him” you teased, everyone else smiling at you and giggling silently.
“fine” he grunted. you made up on the way home, he couldn’t even remember how it all started, he just “wanted to make a point” which, sure, he did.
🌍junghwan:
you and junghwan never got to spend much time together before you became friends with the members since he was always with them or at school, which is why he’s never complained or showed any jealousy when you are with them.
today you headed over to their dorms to relax and play when you remembered, today was the day of junghwan’s english exam. you pulled out your phone and dropped him a quick good luck text before continuing your journey.
yoshi brought you up to his room where he said you could chill for a bit since everyone else was still sleeping, other than those who had school of course. yoshi began to ask you lots of questions, you learnt a lot about each other in that hour or so, and the conversation was flowing so well that you didn’t hear the door.
“y/n, you did remember?!” junghwan asked excitedly, clapping his hands while smiling from ear to ear. “you came all the way here to see me after i finished?”
“remember what?” you asked, bewildered. “your exam? yeah i sent you a text, i’m sorry i didn’t realise until i was over half way here else i would have gone to see you first” you confessed, feeling guilty. his face dropped at your honest words.
“you mean you came all the way here just to see yoshi?” he asked. “everyone else was in the kitchen, but you two were in here… alone…?” disappointed in your reasoning and forgetfulness, he slowly backed out of the room. he wanted to cry, but he couldn’t. he wanted to feel sad and upset, but did you really do anything wrong, he thought. “you couldn’t have just turned around and gone home”
“well i didn’t want to, i wanted to see my friends. i didn’t realise that most of them didn’t get up until the afternoon” you walked closer to him, praying that he didn’t try and get away. “i’m sorry i forgot about your exam”
he shuffled closer to you. you’d never argued before, and he wasn’t sure how to respond, so he hoped a hug would go down well. as he hugged you, he whispered his own apology into you hair “i’m sorry for jumping to conclusions”
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awhst-alt · 3 years
Text
I HAD THE BEST BYLER DREAM LAST NIGHT AND I REALLY WANNA SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL
it's so long (literally 2k words) so im gonna put it under the cut haha <3
so basically this would take place after mike and will start dating or something, idk exactly the time frame (i picture them being like 18 or something and this is the summer before college) and will goes to this summer arts program for like 2/3 months (i dunno how long american summer is but something like that) and its all the way far from home so there is dorms and stuff and he's "not in hawkins anymore" (no pun intended)
mike and will decide after will finishes his school they'd go to college together (cuz they're gonna be comic book artists together bc thats boyfriend shit) so throughout these months he's practically just waiting for will (<333333)
so one specific scene i remember from my dream involved will and mike getting off the bus to the school and then they hug and then mike grabs wills hand and brings him behind the bus and then he gives will a biggg kiss bc he won't be able to kiss him for 3 months. then they say they love each other and will gives him another quick kiss and is like "two kisses". they agree they'd call each other every day.
so will goes inside and mike goes back on the bus and goes home.
and basically the whole day is a whirl, until the end of it, in which mike is sitting in the kitchen near the phone waiting for like 3 hours for will to call, and will doesn't end up calling.
AND THEN IT GETS SPICYYYYY
so meanwhile at the arts program will asks like the front desk or something if he can call mike and they say phone is offlimits and they don't let him call mike
so then will goes to sleep and he's paranoid that he thinks mike is gonna hate him or something like that
mk than the next day in class there is this girl (they didn't reveal her name in the dream, ill call her stella) so stella is basically looking at will the entire class but will doesn't know it
so when they exit the class stella's like "hi" and will says "hi"
then stella says "i like your painting."
will is like rlly weirded out so he goes "thanks?"
"i um- hope this doesn't sound weird but i have no friends, do you want to be mine?"
"sure"
and then end of scene (this does not sound like a normal conversation but it's my dream so it doesn't have to make sense"
so BACK AT HAWKINS mike is still sleeping even tho it's like 3 pm because yk depressed boyfriend shit but then the PHONE RINGS and mike gets out of bed frantically and goes to the phone and he picks it up and is like "will?" and then it answers "it's el, idiot"
i feel like this is important for context but el speaks english very well now and hoppers back and she lives with hopper and not the byers anymore. ANYWAYS
el says "how's will?"
mike says "idk he didn't call"
"he didn't?"
"no, he didn't"
"okay. well maybe he will call later"
"yeah mb"
"wanna come over"
"ok"
so mike hangs up and gets changed and goes to el's house bc they r a couple o' besties and when he gets there it's like a therapy sessions bc mike usally talks to will every single day and he can't for like 3 months (unless will calls, but he's not going to) so he accepts he's gonna be depressed for 3 months and he's just talking to el about how he's gonna miss him so much and no be able to see his face and that shit
so el's like "well do u wanna do something to take ur mind off of him"
and mike's like "no im not gonna replace will" (I SCREAMED IN MY DREAM SRSLY)
but than el says "okay. guess im gonna go to the mall by myself" (ig starcourt is rebuilt by now)
and than mike bolts up and is like "fine"
"we can by something for will"
"okay yay"
so then they go to starcourt yasss!!
anyways back at the art school will is having lunch and stella is with he friends (even tho she said she doesn't have any friends) and one of her friends is like "omg did you see _____ he's so hot"
and another friend says "YESS! but ____ is cuter"
"what abt u stella? who do u have ur eyes on"
she says "byers" BUT NOOOOOOO WILL IS MIKES MAN
and they say "ew that kid who came back to life"
she says "yea. but he's cute, and shy, and once i wrap them around my finger i can get them to do anything"
so then she goes to sit down next to will at lunch
"hi will"
"hi"
"hru"
"im good"
"okay. good." and she gets upset because will goes ask how she is but she keeps her urging rage inside. and than they have this weird conversation and will is uncomfortable the whole time bc shes all like flirting with him and will is seeing someone obvi
but then she puts a hand on will's shoulder and he's shaking and then says something (idk what it is it wasn't explaining in my dream) then will stands up and runs to the bathroom. so he's just sitting in the stalls crying.
okay back at starcourt this part wasn't shown in my dream but im just gonna make up that mike and el go looking around starcourt for something for will (sort of like the mike/lucas/will montage where they were looking for stuff for el) and then i guess they find something for will and i don't have the slightest idea what they could have got for him BUT THEY GOT HIM SOMETHING GOOD
so mike's all happy but they'res still that depression inside of him lol
so fast forward a week, it really isn't explained but ill just make up that will still hasn't called mike, and he's super sad and all sleeping in but decides to look through his good ol binder full of will's drawings and in the arts school will and stella have a few more interactions im sure which are still very uncomfortable
okay so it's lunch again in the cafeteria and somehow will and stella are talking again but somehow it ends in stella kissing will and will like pulls away immediatley and is like "what is wrong with you!?"
and she says "what?"
"i'm seeing someone!"
"oh i uh- i didn't know."
the whole cafeteria is staring at them
so will's freaking out almost on the verge of a panic attack "idk what to do, he's gonna hate me and-"
"he?"
will has the look on his face like shit shit shit oh fuck no
"you're gay?"
"i-"
and will runs off once again. and everyone in the whole cafeteria knows that he's day and ofc with everybody being homophobic will knows it's not good at all bc everyone's gonna bully him
so then the next day he goes to class and the teacher is like "does anyone care to tell me where ___ is?" (it would be like a math question like 'where x is' but in art idkkk) and then the teacher calls on "will? can you tell me where ___ is?" and they'res a pause and then the teacher says "or perhaps you'd want to find your boyfriend instead?" (giving me anne with an e vibes prolly cuz i did a rewatch last weekend but i won't explain more in case some people haven't watched it but) anyways will stands up from his seat, everyone is looking at him, and he's shaking and so concerned but then he goes "fuck. you" badass will yeaaaa thats my boy
so then he runs out of the classroom and out of the school in a really cool montage way but then he realizes he's like 2 hours away from home but he runs and runs and he goes to a random bustop (it's not even garanteed if it takes him to hawkins but whatever) he gets on and tries to go back to hawkins.
and soon enough, he gets there, and immediatley goes to the wheelers because he needs to see mike and apologize for everything. so he's at the wheelers, and rings the doorbell, realizing he's still in his uniform lol but karen answers and mike is upstairs in his room sulking (i picture it would be 8 pm by now) so will asks for mike and karen calls mike. mike groans obviously because he doesn't know it's his boy, but he comes down, karen gets out of the way and as soon as he sees will they have a really big hug and it's super sweet and my heart UFHEIOSKA
mike says his usual "are you okay?" and mike is still confused as shit but will says "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry" and mike says "you don't have to be sorry for anyrhing" but will says "ill explain"
so then they go to will's room, side-by-side on his bed and will starts explaining everything
(this is mostly improvised by me but it's still pretty similar to the dream)
"i hated it."
"the school?"
"yeah. there was no you, (mike blushes lmao), everything was terrible, i felt so lonely, they didn't let me call you-"
"what?"
"they said the phone was off limits. i wanted to talk to you so bad and i thought you'd hate me"
"i could never hate you, will, even if i tried." will smiles
"and then there was this girl, and she hit on me and i didn't know what to do bc i'd be the face of the school if i told her i was dating you and was gay and today she kissed me"
"WHAT"
"im sorry im sorry i didn't kiss back and i was so scared bc i never was in a relationship before and i was so scared it was considered cheating-"
and mike LAUGHSS
"what? mike? what's wrong?"
"if you don't do anything back, it's not considerd 'cheating'"
"oh. good. are you mad at me?"
"what? no! no never!" so mike opens his arms and says "come here" so will and mike hug or something like that and then mike says "do you need me to beat her up?"
and will says "you can't even beat eggs. besides, your noodle arms wouldn't be able to do harm to even a fly"
so mike laughs and says "i'm glad your home"
so will blurts "i cursed out a teacher"
"you? cursing?"
"yes."
"might have to start calling you a bad boy now"
will just smiles and says "i love you"
and mike says "i love you too"
AND THEN END AND IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF BC I LOVE THIS DREAM LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BRAIN THOUGHT OF THIS BUT IM OBSESSED
ALSO ONCE I FINISH WYBMFFAE ILL PROBABLY WRITE THIS INTO A FULL BLOWN FIC BUT AHIHFUSAH
edit: i have no idea what mike did with the present him and el bought for will but i guess they ended up giving it to him lol
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bts-reveries · 4 years
Text
mini me | 24
After getting the location of Taehyung’s interview, you thanked Yoongi for the free drink and left to go talk to Taehyung.
Well
To wait for him to finish his interview, and then talk to him. 
-
You didn’t know how long it was going to take. Once you got to the place, you got out of your car and waited right outside the building. 
Ten minutes passed, then twenty, then once it was nearing thirty the doors open. Taehyung comes out with a huge smile on his face, his phone to his ear. 
“Jimin-ah,” he says. “I just got done with the interview. I think it went well. Do you want to go out for dumplings to celebrate?” He was all giggly and happy as he talked to Jimin about the possibility of him actually getting into the exhibition. 
“Yeah, I’ll be on the way. I’ll text you when I’m there,” he says, hanging up the phone and walking off. He doesn’t seem to see you.
“Taehyung-ah!” You call out. He stops mid step and the smile falls off of his face. You ran up to him, standing in front of him. 
“Are you really going to keep ignoring me?” You say. He shakes his head.
“I’m not ignoring you,” he answers. You quirk up an eyebrow at him.
“Oh really?” He sighs, looking around. It was a pretty empty area at the moment.
“Look, I don’t want to cause any more drama than there already is between us three,” he says. “I know you came here to talk about your relationship with Youngdo and I’m going to save you some time and just say that I completely understand. But I don’t want anyone to see us here together, alone, and have any idea that we’re together because I’m not a homewrecker okay?”
You stood there flabbergasted. 
“Kim Taehyung, what are you talking about?”
“I really really like you and I love Youngjae but that’s so so so wrong when you’re with another person. Especially if that someone is your son’s biological dad.”
“Taehyung--”
“And also, you’re the first person I’ve ever felt this way with and it hurts right now, I’m not gonna lie. So I don’t think I can be around you as of now,” he says. His eyes starting to shine. “For the first time, I need to think about myself first, and I think right now we shouldn’t hang out anymore. At least for a while, okay? I’m really sorry, I respect your decisions and really, I just want you to be happy. Even if it’s not with me, it’s fine. So if we can just have our separate ways right now, I’m going out to eat with Jimin,” he says, holding his phone up, beginning to walk away.
“So you’re just not going to let me speak or explain myself?” You say, making him stop again. 
“I-- I’m really happy right now with the things that just went on in there,” he points to the building. “I’m about to go spend time with my best friend and his family, celebrating this second chance that I got. I don’t want this to ruin it. Maybe tomorrow, okay?” He turns around to walk to his car.
“TAEHYUNG OH MY GOSH JUST LET ME TALK,” you say, grabbing him by the arm. He sighs loudly, running his hand through his hair, finally turning around.
“We’re still friends, I just need some time away from you right now, please. Just please respect my decision like I’m doing with your--”
“I CHOSE YOU.”
Flashback to your date with Youngdo in part 23 ⅔
“So what did you want to talk about?” He asks. You laugh at his question.
“I thought you said you knew?”
“Ah… yes,” he says, taking a bite of the cupcake. You laugh when he gets frosting on his nose. You grab a napkin and wipe it off for him. He looks down at you with sad eyes.
“Okay, I know it’s about us. And I’m guessing it’s who you're choosing? I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I thought about it a lot while waiting for your decision. And I’ve made one too,” he says. You tilt your head at him, curious about his decision and wanting to hear it first.
“Which is?” you ask. He puts the wrapper from his cupcake on top of the box that was in between you two. Finishing what was in his mouth.
“After spending more time with you and Jae and seeing you two be happy, I want to be respectful with any decision you make,” he says. “As long as you two are happy, I’m okay. You two seem to be happier when you’re with, not only Taehyung, but also your new friends. I’m glad Jae has some friends, or family, his own age to play with, and I’m glad you have people you consider as sisters to confide in. I figured that I get to see you and Youngjae still in both situations, and as long as you’re happy, I will be too. I know I haven’t been the best person to both of you, and I do want to apologize about that. So I can see why you’re choosing Taehyung.” Your heart stopped when he said that. “I don’t want to say he’s the better choice, because I have hope in myself that I can be the best to you two as well. But you know,” he laughs, a sad laugh, “I should’ve done my best when I already had both of you, so I’m the one at fault.”
“You know… that I’m picking Taehyung?” You ask. He nods.
“I’m not very fond of him,” he laughs, “but I can tell how much he cares. I saw you two when Jae was in the hospital when I got there. He was hugging Jae and holding your hand. He looked so in love with you. I know because you used to look at me like that. I heard what he said too. Anything for the two of you. I know that you don’t need my permission on who to be with, but I’m glad it’s someone who cares so much about the two people I love most.” You were already tearing up as he was talking. You didn’t think it was going to be this… easy?
“Don’t cry,” he laughs, pulling you towards him for a hug. You put your head on his shoulder, your arms around his waist. 
“You were the first guy I ever fell in love with,” you tell him. “Then Youngjae and Youngjae is the love of my life. I never thought I’d ever fall for anyone else after you two. But he came and everything I wanted in the past, I could see in his and I’s future. It’s weird for me to think it’s not with you,” you say, pulling away. You wipe the tear on your cheek with your sleeve. “It’s scary to think that I might just have a whole new future in front of me.”
“It’s scary for me to think that I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life,” he jokes, laughing to get you to stop crying. It made you giggle. 
“You won’t, I mean, look at you,” you say with a soft laugh. 
“I guess we just weren’t meant to be together forever,” he says, smiling sadly at you. “But I’m happy you’re getting what you’ve always deserved.”
End of flashback
“You chose.... Me?” Taehyung says in shock. “But- I saw you on a date with Youngdo and- and- you were so happy and you didn’t answer my text when I asked you out.”
“I didn’t want to say yes until I had a talk with Youngdo and Youngjae first. Youngdo talked to me weeks ago about getting back together and I wanted to talk to him about my decision first before I came out with you as a boyfriend. Plus I needed Youngjae’s permission first~”
“So how’s Youngdo dealing with it?” He asks, still confused.
“He respected my decision and just wants me to be happy. He says he’s glad that I found someone who cares about me and Youngjae as much as you do.” Taehyung’s bottom lip comes out in a little pout. Then his face switches to a confused, angry(?) one.
“Then why does he hate me?” He asks suddenly.
“He doesn’t hate you- well, you know I don’t know but I’m sure you two will warm up to each other.”
“What did Youngjae think about this?”
“He says if I start dating you, does he call you daddy too?” Taehyung laughs and he thinks out loud.
“Daddy… hmm..” He tilts his head. “I like it.” You scoff, noticing that his little drama moment was instantly gone.
He then steps a little closer to you, grabbing both of your hands in his. 
“So…,” he says, “you chose me?” You look around. Did he not just listen to everything I just said?
“Mm.. like a pokemon,” you smile. 
“Good,” he says. “I was kind of disappointed when I thought you didn’t.” You tilt your head.
“Really Tae? I didn’t notice.” You say sarcastically. He laughs cheekily. 
“Well I’ve been wanting to do this, since our paint sesh,” he says, lifting his hand up and brushing your hair to the side. He holds onto your cheek and leans in.
I know what you’re thinking.
Finally.
“What in the Kdrama…”
The two of you’s eyes open, stopping an inch apart from each other, turning to the voice.
Yuna, Jimin, and Mingyu were both standing a few feet apart from you two.
Yuna mouths, “I’m so so sorry.” While Jimin was covering his mouth, Mingyu just looked at you two confused.
“I’m so sorry, I- I thought we were going to get dumplings. You didn’t text and we were already waiting there for a bit so I figured something happened. We just got here, I didn’t know what was going on, but you two can continue now though,” Jimin says, smiling at both of you. He then grabs Mingyu’s hand, putting it into a fist and raising it up. “Uncle Taetae fighting!”
You didn’t know what else to do but laugh.
“Jiminssi,” Taehyung says calmly. Jimin raises his eyebrows.
“Huh?”
“I’m gonna kill you."
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ
mini me
ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ part twenty-four: i chose you ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
pairings: artist!taehyung x singlemom!reader
a/n: so what do you think
taglist: @heartfeltscribblings @taexmichi @prdshobi @smarshere @i-swear-im-a-soft-stan @igotarmyofarohas @butterflylion @miagracegrande @casspirit0705 @ephyra1230 @cosmicdaylight @bbyjoonies @betysotelo18 @strwberry-jam @rjsmochii @chocobetterknot @notmontae97 @alpaca1612 @yoongistruth @dragonqueen01 @silentlyimpractical @hecticwonderer @joanc24 @hopesvlle @momma-said-that-it-was-oke @sweetmoonlight9 @samros95 @dreamcatcherjiah @sonderkook @taekookcaneatme @listless-losers @kookietsukkie @goldenchemistry @salty-for-suga @peoplejustcanthandlemywierdness @softboyfriendtae @raplineh0e @ess-place @callmepaopao @ggukvii @ramyagovindraj @yoongiverse @mipetronella @cloudy-skys @jikachoo @nxtrogers @kookoo-kachoo @taestannie @hispoutylips @hallofbtsmasterlist
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stevesharrlngtons · 4 years
Text
picking out the stitches.
roman godfrey x reader 
summary: after letha’s death; peter’s departure; shelley’s disappearance; and a brutal fight with subsequent break up with roman; you escape to the empire state for college and a fresh start. though, after thinking you have been given the space to move on with your life, your father’s unexpected death sends you back to hemlock grove. there, you are forced to confront the reason for your pained departure.
word count: 14.1k (oopies)
warning: mentions of an abusive father
a/n: this is a long bitch, with a possible part two (?) if this is enjoyed by you all! (: i hope the length of this makes up for it taking so long lol. also prob ooc roman bc i love him just being soft 
please if you read this and like it, know that feedback is greatly appreciated and i’d love to hear any thoughts you have!! also im bad at editing 
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Tuna, turkey and swiss, BLT. 
No option offered sounded particularly tasty. You had come in search of egg salad sandwich, a surprising delicacy from the Hemlock Grove Grocery Deli that you had been craving since your departure months ago. It felt like comfort food, a way to make being back in town bearable. 
But the stockboys seemed to be sending you a message: there was no good reason to be back in town, and no sandwich was going to remedy your pain. 
“(Y/N)?” 
You flinched at the sound of your name as sweat prickled the back of your neck. The last fucking thing you wanted was to be recognized the second you got back into town. Being forced to interact with any of the waspy bitches or rednecks that attended your high school, especially now, seemed like a personal affront punishable with only your meanest of glares and most backhanded of compliments. 
But, who you found had called your name was not only a surprise, but a pleasant one. Not a bitch or mouth breather in sight. 
“Peter?” Your eyebrows perked up as you said his name, no doubt unable to hide your complete shock at his sudden appearance. 
“In the flesh.” He smiled. That same boyish smile that he always gave especially when you needed to see it. 
Your body worked on it’s own violation as you shot yourself at him, wrapping him in a tight hug. He thankfully returned the gesture, gripping the fabric of your dress in his fingers to keep you close. Peter pressed his nose to your temple and you buried yourself deep into the crook of his neck. It wasn’t until a voice cleared behind you that the two of you pulled apart. 
“Excuse me,” A man holding a wire basket interpreted, seeming less than pleased to have been forced to witness your reunion. 
“Sure, after you, sir.” Peter said, theatrically waving the man past. 
“Stupid fucker, couldn’t even go through another aisle.” He watched the man leave with a scowl.
“Shut up about inconiquestional people and tell me what the hell you’re doing back in town!” You said with a wide smile while slapping his chest playfully. 
“I think that’s a better question suited for me to you, don’t you think? Last I heard you fucked off to N-Y-C.” Peter said, leaning against the display of sandwiches. 
“Yeah? And who told you that?” 
“Destiny.” 
You smirked and rested your shoulder against the display, “She’s got a big mouth.” 
“Big mouth? Who cares if she does! New York is a big deal. NYU, even bigger.” 
You roll your eyes at the compliment. 
“Hey, no, I’m serious! You always were the scholar out of us. Fucking valedictorian while Roman and I barely managed C’s.” He continued. 
At the mention of Roman, you sucked in a sharp breath through your nose, eyes breaking from Peter’s only long enough for him to see your pain at his name. 
“You still haven't answered my question, you know?” You said, trying to seamlessly change the subject, fiddling with the ends of your hair to keep your hands busy. 
“Yeah, well, it isn’t a happy answer.” 
“Enlighten me anyway.” 
Peter gives a heaving sigh, a signature of his, “Lynda got pinched for some shit and was transferred out here... I followed.” 
Your heart sank. Lynda had always been exponentially kind and understanding. To you, Shelley and even Roman. 
“Shit, Peter. I’m so sorry. How’re you holding up?” You placed a comforting hand on his forearm. 
“As well as I can given the circumstances. I’m staying with D, so at least that’s good.” He gives a forced smile. 
“I’m glad you’re with family at a time like this.” You drop your hand and slouch against the display, matching his relaxed posture. 
There was a brief pause between the two of you, before Peter spoke again. 
“Usually, when one party enlightens the other, they are obligated to do the same.” He leans in ever so slightly to emphasize his point. 
“That is usually the deal, yes.” 
“So?”
“My dad croaked a few days ago. Heart attack.” 
“Holy shit, (Y/N/N),” Peter interrupted, face falling into a concerned frown. 
“No, no. It’s fine. He was a piece of shit,” You shrug. 
“Still, he was your dad.” 
“Yeah, he was my dad who hit me and my mom and loved booze more than either of us.” 
“He still was your dad, (Y/N).” He reiterated. 
You purse your lips and sigh.
“I know, but that doesn’t mean I have to be all fucking weepy about the whole thing.” You say, grabbing a turkey and swiss from the display and pushing off to walk toward the register. 
“No one said you had to be,” Peter appealed as he followed behind you, “But don’t let everything get all clogged up in there.” 
He motioned to his chest and you roll your eyes, setting your sandwich on the conveyor belt for the cashier. 
“I promise you, the moment he is six feet under I will let all my emotions out. Mainly rejoice and relief.” You sent Peter a smile as your sandwich rang up. 
“Four forty, even.”
You reach into your purse, but Peter beats you to it. He hands the cashier a crumpled up five dollar bill. 
You give him a glare, “You didn’t have to do that.” 
“Of course I did. It’s gonna be my lunch too.” He snatched the sandwich from the bagging area and saunters to the exit, leaving you to gather the nickels and dimes. 
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Parked in a gravel parking lot looking over the lake, you and Peter sat in the cab of his tow truck. Both eating a half of the mediocre turkey and swiss while sharing a warm cherry Coke from the center console in silence. After a brief session of catch up on your lives over the past few months, you were both happy enough to just sit quietly in each other's company. Simply enjoying the comfort of being in the presence of someone you love. 
“You ever hear from him?” Peter spoke up, mouth full of bread and slimy meat. 
“Who?” You at least have the decency to cover your mouth as you spoke. 
“You know who. Don’t make me say his name, you got all squirly last time.” 
You sighed as you finish chewing the food in your mouth, savoring what you could of the cheap flavors as you avoided Peter’s gaze. Once you swallowed, you took a long gulp from the Coke can before answering. 
“No. He’s been out of my life since that night. Really prefer to keep it that way, too.” You replied clippedly, not wanting to talk about him any more than necessary. 
Peter belows a raspberry in response. 
You looked over to glare at him, “What?” 
“I just find that hard to believe.”
“That I don’t want to see the man who broke my heart?” You snap. 
“No, that Roman has been able to keep his distance from you.” 
“I thought we weren’t saying his name.” You abruptly look away and out the windshield once more. 
“Apologies.”
“You don’t have to sound so sincere about it.” You scoff. 
“What happened between you two, anyway? Before I left I could practically hear wedding bells.” 
“Destiny didn’t tell you?” You press your lips together firmly, hoping Destiny had just made up a lie on your behalf to tell her cousin. 
“All she said was that you and Roman supposedly got into this huge fight and you left a few days after. Nothing more, nothing less.” He explained. 
“Yeah, well huge fight is an understatement.” 
“Then what happened?” 
You sigh deeply, reclining against the headrest and wrapping your arms around your middle for some misplaced search for security. 
“It happened a few days after you skipped town. It was his birthday…” 
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Music echoed around you as you placed gentle kisses along the expanse of Roman’s neck. You ran your fingers through his hair gently, collecting grease and pomade on your fingertips and under your nails as you did. He had an arm securing you tightly to his side, the other had been holding you too, but he had retrieved it to light a cigarette. 
After the traumatic week you two had undergone, you didn’t fight Roman much when he insisted all he wanted to do for his eighteenth birthday was drink, watch a movie and have you sleep over. You were happy he at least let you buy him a cupcake to commemorate the day, but wouldn’t see to any more festivities. He told you that now more than ever wasn’t a time to be merry. You didn’t blame him, no matter how much you wanted to celebrate him today. 
So, you let him share his birthday cupcake with you in the bottom of an empty swimming pool and hold you in an uncomfortable lounge chair for as long as he wanted. Fortunately, this was as calm as you’d seen him in days and you hoped that continued; at least until midnight. 
Roman lulled his head on top of yours and placed his hand on your hip, making sure every part of you that could be touching was. 
The sound of a door opening resounded in the distance and the distinct tap of heels on tile followed. You felt Roman deflate next to you as you both recognized who the sound belonged to. 
In sauntered Olivia, in a beautiful floor length gown with a sparkler in hand, painting patterns in the dark with the fire illuminating her wicked smile. 
“Happy Birthday, my darling.” She chimed, looking down at the both of you. 
You and Roman both shifted under her unwelcome gaze, neither responding. You turned further into Roman’s neck and you felt his fingers press harder into the flesh of your hip. 
“It can’t be a party with just the two of you, can it?” Olivia said, dropping the sparkler to lay by her side. 
“Well, three’s a crowd. So if you’ll excuse us.” Roman waved his hand that held his cigarette dismissively.
“One is the loneliest number, but two can be just as bad.” Olivia replied in a musical lit. 
Again, neither of you respond. You busy yourself fiddling with the collar of Roman’s tank top.
“(Y/N), darling, you do look beautiful tonight.” She turns her attention to you after the silence she received. Something Olivia knew Roman disapproved of her doing. 
“Thank you, Mrs. Godfrey.” You reply politely, glancing at her briefly before going back to Roman’s shirt. 
“Is that the dress Roman bought you some time back? I remember hearing you tell Shelley about it over dinner.” Olivia continued. 
“What is it that you want, again?” Roman snapped, making you flinch at his volume increase. 
“I have a surprise for you. In the attic.” She gestured using what’s left of the dying sparkler at the ceiling. 
“Can’t it wait?” Roman said, wholly disinterested. 
“No, it cannot, Roman. It is your birthday surprise and I would like to give it to you now.” Her voice became more stern by the word. 
Roman moves to look at you and you do the same. His eyes are inviting you to a conversation Olivia isn’t privy too. An almost psychic communication you’ve had together since the day you first met. 
Do we go with her? Or wait her out until she leaves? 
Just see what she wants. Once she’s shown you we can get back to doing whatever you want. 
Roman pursed his lips before letting out a dramatic sigh, “Fine.” 
He got up from the chair before offering you his hand to help you up. 
Olivia watched as you both climb the ladder out of the empty pool and onto the landing. 
“Let’s get this over with.” Roman gave his mother a firm glare. 
He placed a hand on the small of your back and started for the door when Olivia stopped him. 
“I’m afraid, this gift is for Godfrey eyes only.” She looked at you with weakly masked distaste. 
You felt Roman’s fingers once again probe into your skin, “She is a Godfrey.” 
“Not in name or blood.”
“But she will be so it doesn’t matter.” Roman retorted, harshly. 
This wasn’t the first time he had alluded to your future together, and at the time, you didn’t think it would be the last. 
“Well, she isn’t yet, is she? When she is, then she will be welcome to engage in all Godfrey birthday present exchanges.” Olivia sneered.
“There is nothing you could show me that she can’t-” You placed a gentle hand on Roman’s chest before he could continue. 
This fight certainly wasn’t worth it. Especially not over a fucking birthday present. 
“It’s fine. I’ll wait in your room.” You offered. 
“Off the premise.” Olivia chimed in curtly. 
“Excuse me?” Roman spat. 
“(Y/N) can go home and see you tomorrow. This gift needs much explanation and discussion.” 
“This is beyond fucking ridiculous!” 
“Ro, it’s OK. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You smile up at him. 
You didn’t want to leave him. Not now, not ever, but never with Olivia. 
“I’ll see you later tonight.” Roman stressed.
“Tomorrow would be-” 
“Let’s just call it a see-you-soon, then?” You cut off Olivia, never taking your eyes off Roman. 
He just tightens his jaw, so tight you’re afraid he might crack a filling. But he nods. 
“Fine. I’ll call you.” He says. And he says it with such sincerity that you know without a doubt he will, “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
He kisses your forehead and you kiss his cheek, not overly keen on giving him the proper goodbye kiss you wanted to infront of Olivia. As you walk away, you spare Olivia a last glance and the look on her smug face is one so self satisfied it made your stomach churn. 
Roman never called you that night, or even the next morning. The calls you gave him were left unanswered; texts and voicemails the same. 
You would have called Peter, Shelley or Letha to see if they’d heard from Roman at a time like this, but all were depressingly dead ends. 
Under the circumstances that you left under the night before, you took it upon yourself to drive to the Godfrey residence and find out what the hell was going on yourself. You didn’t trust Olivia as far as you could throw her, and you didn’t put any heinous act past her. 
Your worry beat out any common sense you had to stay away and wait for Roman to come to you. 
When you arrived and knocked on the door, several times to be exact, it seemed no one was home. Though, both cars were in the driveway and you knew neither Roman or Olivia would take a cab anywhere. With balled fists you slammed against the wood of the door, kicking your foot against it as well for good measure. You had been in your knocking rhythm so long, when the door finally opened you stumbled forward. 
You caught yourself on the knob and looked up to see who answered. 
Roman stood above you with expressionless features and down turned lips. 
“What?” He asked. 
“Don’t ‘what’ me! ‘What’ you! You never called and you haven’t been answering.” You said, straightening yourself out. 
“You’re not my fucking keeper,” Roman scoffed and turned his back to walk down the hallway. 
Your face screwed up in confusion as you stepped over the threshold into the mansion and slammed the door, then followed him through the house. 
“Excuse me? What is up with you?” You exclaimed. 
Roman had stopped in the kitchen, rummaging through the refrigerator while trying his best to seem unbothered with tense shoulders. 
“Nothing is up. I just didn’t want to call you.” He spoke into the crisper drawer. 
“Since when?” 
“Since now.” 
“What the fuck did Olivia show you? Must have been really messed up for you to be acting like this.” You let a humorless laugh through your nose. 
“Or maybe I was just happy to be rid of you and now that you’re back, I am pissed.” He slammed the door to the fridge, its contents rattling inside. 
Your surprised expression hadn’t wavered as Roman glared at you, his eyes dull and unfamiliar. 
“Ok, so, yesterday you’re talking about marrying me, and today I am some parasite you’re happy to be rid of? Is that right?” You took a step toward him. 
“I was never going to marry you, you delusional whore.” His first real hit, chipping away at your weak armour. The armour he had weakened himself with his love and care for years. 
“If I’m whore, I’d hate to know what that makes you.” You spat. 
“It makes me the fucking billionaire who mistakenly kept around some boring girl with a mediocre cunt.” His second hit. 
“Wow. You’re right, Roman. I am a whore, but I must be an idiot too! To stay with such a man who calls my pussy mediocre when he can’t even fuck me right.” You provoked. 
“Fuck you.” 
“Yeah? Why don’t you? Because for as long as I can remember I’ve been faking my orgasms just to get your pathetic little prick out of me. Is that why you cry after Roman? Because you know about that weak excuse of a dick between your legs?” 
You were being cruel and frankly, spinning lies. But he was hurting you and you wanted to hurt him back. 
“No, I cry thinking about all the other guys you let between your legs. Maybe that’s why daddy hits you, huh? Hoping that one day he hits you hard enough to rattle that whore brain so hard it kills you? So he won’t have to live with the shame? Or maybe he hopes if he hits you enough you’ll finally drop to your knees and show him that head everyone in town talks about.” The last hit, and the one that broke you. 
You close the last few steps between you and strike him as hard as you can muster across the face, cranking Roman’s head to the side with the impact. The slap rings loudly through the room, so do your sniffles. 
“How can you be so cruel? How could you ever say that to me?” You scream through tears. 
“Just speaking the truth.” Roman said smoothly, his head still rotated. 
“What is going on with you? What happened last night?” 
“I came to my senses, that’s what happened. I realized that I was sick of wasting all my time on a miserable little bitch when I could be out fucking real women.” He says through gritted teeth, “Real women who don’t need so much tedious validation from me.” 
“Are you done?” You snapped, your throat thick with tears. 
“With you. Yes.” 
You couldn’t think of anything else to say. Malicious words spun in your head, ready to fire off your tongue and tear him apart, but you knew you would never be able to get them out in one piece. You would stutter and sob and shake and it would give Roman even more satisfaction at seeing you crumble. So, you turned on your heel as fast as you could, holding your hand over your mouth to silence your cries and fled the Godfrey home. 
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“Shee-it.” Peter said, looking sick. 
“Shee-it, indeed.” You nod. 
“So, that was it?” 
“That was it. I was there barely five minutes when it was all said and done… then I went home, cried my stupid eyes out and packed my shit. It was always the plan for me to do online courses and stay here with him, but, y’know, things changed... So, I left.” 
“I know that feeling.” Peter says, giving the river a thousand mile stare. 
“I know you do. Let’s not forget you abandoned me, too.” You said, far more harshly than intended. The topic of the break up having brought old wounds to the surface. 
A pained expression crossed his face, “(Y/N)... Fuck, I’m sorry. I am. I just… after Letha,” 
“You don’t have to explain. I’m sorry I snapped. I forgave you the minute you left, for the most part, anyway.” You shrugged. 
“Yeah?” 
“Yeah,” You sigh and look over at him, “If I had been in your shoes I would have hightailed it the second I could have.” 
He offers you a sad smile, “But you needed me, and I left.” 
“It’s really OK. Because you’re here now. And it all worked out.” 
“New York that good, then?” 
“Better than good. I’m alone and broke-.” 
“And that’s better than good?” He chuckles.
“Surprisingly, yeah. I’m learning and figuring things out on my own. I’m finding things that make me happy without having to worry about anything else. It’s just nice.” You smile as you speak. 
“That makes me happy. Man, it really does. All I ever wanted for you was happiness. I thought I had left you with the silver you had left of it.” Peter says, resting his temple to the head rest. 
“You did what you had too and so did I. I’m sure Roman did too, in his own twisted way,” You reply, “I don’t want to focus on the past anymore. I am purley looking forward to the future from now on.” 
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Peter dropped you off at home after hours of milling around the streets of Hemlock Grove in his truck. You kept asking if he had to go back to work, but he would dismiss your concern each time. Telling you that he was spending time with you and he’d worry about towing later. As much as you knew you should pressure him to take you home, you were happy for the company, especially when that company was Peter. 
His reappearance in your life was unexpected, but wholly accepted and appreciated. You didn’t know the next time you’d be able to see him again, so you were going to enjoy his companionship while you had it. 
Hopping out of the truck and brushing residual crumbs from the turkey sandwich from your dress, you shut the door. The window rolled down and Peter leaned over the console to look at you.   
“Don’t be a stranger.” He smiles at you and you can’t help but return it. 
“Never again.” 
“If you have time, come by Destiny’s before you head back up north. I know she’d love to have dinner.” He proposes and your smile widens. 
“I’d love that, I’ll keep you posted.” You start to back up toward your front door. 
“And let me know if you need anything, anything at all. I know losing someone is tough.” His smile falls slightly as the funeral is mentioned again. 
You knew Peter was worried about you and he had good intentions, but he didn’t know your father like you did. You were going to this thing for appearances and to make your grandmother happy, if you had had a choice you would have rather stayed at school. 
“Got it. Thank you, Peter.” 
You wave him off and you watch as he double takes to look at you until he is out of sight, only then did you enter your house. 
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The house isn’t much and it wasn’t the home you grew up in. When your mother finally left your father, she promptly moved you both into a smaller place on the west side of Hemlock Grove that was better suited for your new family dynamic. 
It was a dated burgundy one story, with bland beige carpets and no overhead lighting in the bedrooms, but with two bathrooms. That was helpful down the line when your mother began dating again and her multiple suitors would stay for weeks at a time. You never wanted to be alone with any of them, so that meant crossing the boundary into her room to use the en suite was always out of the question. 
Your bedroom was somewhere you always found solace and comfort, even now it felt more like home than anywhere in the world. It had a small excuse of a bay window that looked out over a small and shallow creek. One of your mother’s more involved boyfriends had built you a window bench years before underneath it, upholstered in red velvet. You had run your fingers over the soft fabric so many times, certain places were now rubbed raw and threadbear. 
Roman used to sit on your bed while you sat on the bench, reading to him from a litany of novels, some for pleasure and some for assignments. He’d look at you and tell you the light from the window haloed you like an angel. You’d tell him he was just talking out of his ass to get you to stop reading and fool around. Then Roman would smirk and shrug, like he wasn’t sure who was more right. His memory seemed to be etched into every detail of your bedroom, unfortunately. 
There was the small heart he had carved into your headboard with an unclicked pen, your initials carved around it. There was your small Ikea vanity, that was stained with nail polish from the time Roman insisted he could do your nails better than you could. There was your closet, just big enough to hold you both inside; where you would steal kisses when you first started to sneak him into your room at night. There was the faded paint on the wall in the shape of a rectangle, where a picture frame of you and Roman at your first homecoming together had once been. There was your fucking duvet cover, that you and Roman would hide underneath on bright mornings. Where he’d hold you and kiss you softly, whispering sweet affections until the muggy air between you became thick and he’d push your noses up over the edge of the blanket to take in giggling gulps of breath. 
Roman Godfrey had left painful reminders of himself everywhere. There were too many for you to erase fully. His memory was like a Hydra, repress a recollection of his and two more would pop into your mind in its place.
Now, all the bench held your small suitcase that you had packed early this morning for your short trip down to Pennsylvania. Just some toiletries, a few changes of clothes, a black cocktail dress and a few textbooks. Just because your father died didn’t mean your school work would lighten because of it. 
While it wasn’t very late, you had been up early to catch your train and hadn’t expected to be out all day with Peter. You excused your premature exhaustion and decided it was best to take a shower, have a snack and then go to bed. Tomorrow was to no doubt try your nerves, so a full night's rest was likely your best option. 
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After your shower, you slipped into a pair of pajamas and went down the hall to see if your mother had left you any suitable food. She was still on vacation with her current boyfriend and wouldn’t be able to make it back until Monday, a full day after you were set to leave. So, all you could hope was that there was something edible left in the pantry. 
Tussling your damp hair in your hands, you padded through the kitchen to try and make something with the odds and ends your mother had in stock. 
As you settled on a half eaten bag of tortilla chips and a jar of salsa, there was a knock at the door. Your mother’s car was missing from the driveway and anyone who would drop by unannounced knew she was out of town. Assuming it was a solicitor or a package delivery, you ignored it and continued on with your pre-bed snack. But the knocking didn’t let up. 
Begrudgingly, you made your way to the door in the hopes of shooing off whoever was bothering you. Though, when you opened it, you debated simply closing the door like it nothing had happened. To just shut the door tight and pretend that you hadn’t seen who was standing on your doorstep. All six feet four inches of him. 
With his back to you and a large bouquet of roses in hand, Roman glanced over his shoulder when he heard the door open. He looked about as startled as you felt when he laid eyes on you. 
“(Y/N).” He blurted out, his body swiveling like an owl to face the same direction as his head. 
“Roman.” You gave him a forced smile, cursing that you had lost your opportunity to run and hide.
“I, uh, well, wow. I, these are for your mother,” Roman whipped out the bouquet from behind him, “I heard about your dad. I just wanted to see how she was holding up. I know they aren’t close or anything, but y’know, it’s still the father of her child.” 
You took the flowers from him carefully, making sure to avoid where his fingers lay on the stems. 
“She’s not here, but thanks. I’ll make sure to let her know you stopped by.” You continued your kind facade before moving to shut the door. 
But Roman was quicker as he placed a large hand on the wood to keep it ajar. 
“I’m sorry for you too, you know? I know how it feels to lose a father. So, I’m sorry.” He said, like he was trying to keep you in his company as long as possible. 
“Wish my dad would have eaten a bullet when I was a kid. You got lucky.” You joke, once more trying to shut the door. 
And Roman continued to keep it open. 
“Well, I know things ended… bad- But! I’m still here if you need me. For anything. Have all the preparations been taken care of?” He asked. 
“Yeah, my grandma and grandpa took care of it. Nothing to worry about. But thanks, Roman.”
Roman’s eyes widened and his mouth puckered, the way he always did when he had a million things to say and no idea how to say them. 
You began to notice his attire as he loomed over you, with no seeming intention of leaving you or your front stoop alone. 
He wore a thick winter coat over a black three piece suit, tailored to perfection. His hair was parted on the right and smoothed down with gel. It certainly wasn’t your favorite look on him, but your input hardly mattered anymore. He wore Oxford dress shoes that were spotless and without a crease. You realized just then that he must have come right from The White Tower to bring the flowers to your mother, and these were his work clothes. These were the clothes and fifty dollar haircut of a fresh faced CEO.
You had known that he was set to secede the throne of Godfrey Industries once he turned eighteen, but you never gave it much thought after you moved to New York. The Roman who haunted your dreams and took residence in your thoughts was always your Roman. The boy who wanted to smoke and dance and kiss and laugh. Not a business tycoon out for blood. 
“I didn’t know you would be in town. I would have stopped by.” He said, finally finding words to give him a reason to stay. 
“You already have.” 
“I know, but I would have made it more deliberate. More to see you and not to just give my condolences to you mother.” Roman explained, his hand still on the door. 
You snort, “Yeah, well I don’t know why you’re giving her flowers anyway. She doesn’t like you. Not after I told her everything.” 
“Yeah, uh, I didn’t know that.” He laughs uncomfortably, finally taking a step away and relieving your door of his hostage. 
“Well, it was nice of you to come by. I’ll see you around, Roman.” It was clear from your tone that this incommodious conversation was over. 
Though, Roman still was outwardly ignoring your brusque attitude, “Could I come in? I would love to catch up for a moment? For old times sake?” 
“I don’t know if that is such a good idea.” 
“I won’t be long, I promise.” He bargained
You watched him for a long moment, debating on what to do. On one hand, you craved his presence. You craved him after just one sighting and wanted him to come in, to talk, to listen, to heal. Because like you said to Peter in the car earlier, you did believe that Roman had done what he had for a reason, it was just no doubt a fucked up and selfish one. You couldn’t hate him forever, you didn’t want to. It would destroy you before it did any good. 
On the other, all you could do was hear his voice echoing in your mind, explaining his disgust for you. 
But, you wanted to look to the future. You wanted to free yourself of the burden of grudges and hatred. You wanted to forgive Roman, the best you could, and leave him and his faults to fester in the past while you moved on with your life. 
So, you pushed the door open wider with the tips of your fingers and walked back to the kitchen, while Roman eagerly followed. 
“I’ll have to find every vase in the house for these,” You quietly joked.
“I could buy a big vase to hold them tomorrow and send it over if you’d like?” He was following closer than you would have liked as you searched the cabinets for vases and empty jars. 
“No, it’s alright. I think I’ll like how eclectic they’ll look in mismatched glasses.” You said, “And then I could put them all around the house. It’ll be a nice surprise for my mom when she gets home.” 
You undid the thick satin ribbon holding the bouquet together and found a pair of scissors to cut off the ends.
“Want me to fill these with water?” Roman asked, nodding to the empty vases.
“If you don’t mind.” 
Roman nodded, shedding his wool jacket and blazer, depositing it on a chair. Then, rounding the island to stand next to you to begin filling each receptacle from the sink. 
He was closer to you now than he had been in months. You could smell his woody cologne that clung to his skin, mixed with cigarette smoke and the night air. He must have been driving with the top down. You hated that only his scent could send your heart into somersaults and make your hands quiver with need. All you could think about with him in such a proximity was looking up into his green eyes and him looking down into your (Y/E/C) ones. Looking down at you with that stupid fucking smirk. Then with that smirk, Roman would place a hand on your cheek and gently press it to your lips and you would be in heaven. 
Anything Roman did to you was heaven. 
Expect when he was hurting you. Which you had to remind yourself, he very much did. 
“So, where’s your mom?” Roman asked, placing a mason jar next to faux crystal vase.
“In Florida with her new boyfriend.” You commented. 
“Yeah, I heard she was seeing someone.” 
“You know if he’s any good?” 
“Nah, just that she was seeing someone. I keep an ear to the ground to make sure she’s doing alright.” Another glass filled. 
“You don’t have to do that, Roman.” You paused cutting stems for a moment to glance up at him. 
He was already looking at you. 
“I know. I want to. It’s the least I can do.”     
You hold eye contact for a few beats, Roman’s eyes boring into yours in that hyponic way that always left you weak in the knees. 
“Well, thank you. I appreciate it.” And you both went back to your tasks at hand. 
It was obvious that you were more than willing to work in silence, and it was clear that Roman wasn’t. 
“So… how’s NYU?” He prompts. 
“Good. I really like it.” 
“Enjoying your studies?” 
“Very much.” 
“And the city? Is it treating you alright?” 
“Yes, I think after I graduate I’ll stay for a while.” 
Roman only hums in reply. Like that wasn’t what he wanted to hear.
“Well, I’m happy to hear that you’re doing well.” 
“Thank you.”
The conversation lulls as the sound of water and sheers fill the room. 
Roman is chewing his cheek and bobbing his head, and you know he won’t let up his chatter anytime soon. 
“I’ve been working at The Tower. I took over a few months ago.” He says, eyes darting to you like he was looking for praise. 
“Oh,” You reply like you hadn’t already figured it out, “How’s that going?” 
“Fine. I mean, it’s a lot of work. A lot of stress, but I’m glad I’m doing it.” He sounds unconvincing as he rambles on about Godfrey Industries and Pryce’s lab while you focus on the flowers. 
“Do you ever wonder what you would be doing if you hadn’t been told your entire life that you would take over Godfrey?” You ask, somewhat out of the blue.
Roman stops talking abruptly, his hands pausing under the tap. 
“Not really.” 
“Isn’t there anything else you would have wanted to do? Like in a dream scenario in a perfect world?” You elaborate. 
Roman seems unsettled by your questioning, like these were things no one had ever asked him. Things he had never even asked himself. 
“I think in a dream scenario, I would be rich beyond my wildest dreams. And I already am, so why waste time dreaming?” You can tell he isn’t even satisfied with his answer.
You don’t reply, leaving the subject where it lay in the air to go back to working in silence. 
“So...” Roman begins again, refusing to let the conversation die down.
“You seeing anyone?” Roman tries to sound blase, but you know this question lays heavy on him. 
You barely withhold a scoff as you set your scissors down to look at him once more.
He double takes in your direction, not wanting to look at you for fear of your answer, “What?” 
“I’m just surprised you held off this long without asking the question we both know you wanted to ask the second you saw me.” 
“Not really an answer…” he murmurs. 
“Not really your business.” You counter. 
“So there is someone?” You could hear a twinge of anger in his voice. 
“Not that it is any of your business, because I want to stress that it really isn’t, but no. I am not seeing anyone.” 
“Oh.” Roman’s lip twitches into a smile that he tries to conceal from you. 
“Yeah, oh.” You roll your eyes and finish with your clippings and begin to arrange the rose into glasses. 
“Aren’t you going to ask me?” Roman, with his work now over, turns to look down at you, a smirk on his lips. 
“Ask you what?” 
“If I’m seeing anyone.” 
“I don’t care, Roman.” 
“Really?” He leans closer to you.
“Well, what constitutes seeing someone, to you? A one night stand? A hooker? An actual multiple date relationship? What is your definition?” You jeer. 
“How would you define it?” 
“Different from you.” 
“Oh come on,” He pokes, “Tell me.”
He was becoming far too chummy with you for your taste.
“I guess I would define it as multiple dates.” 
“By that definition, then no. I’m not seeing anyone.” 
“But if I defined it by hookers and one night stands?” You inquired. 
Roman doesn’t answer. 
You can’t help but laugh, “And you said I was a whore.” 
The air between you changes, then. It was calm, if not slightly awkward before then, but now it felt tense and uncomfortable.
“(Y/N), I…” 
“Don’t.” You reply before he can say anything else. 
“But I want to say this, I need to.” Roman persists, reaching out to grab your shoulder. 
You shrug off his advance quickly and take a few steps back from him. Roses and vases completely forgotten. 
“I need to apologize to you.”
“You need to apologize to me for what, Roman?”
“For that night, what I said-!” Roman starts. 
“No. What I mean is, are you apologizing because you’re actually sorry? Because you think that’s what you’re supposed to say to me? Or because you want what you did off your conscious?” You raise a single eyebrow. 
“Are you kidding? I’m saying this because I am fucking sorry! I hate what I said to you, it fucking eats me up!” Roman throws his hand in the air as he yells. 
“So it is option C.” You replied. 
“Jesus fucking- no! It’s not! It’s A! It’s fucking A. You think I wanted to do what I did? Huh? You think I wanted you to leave?” 
“Yes, I did. I do.”
“Then fuck you if you think that. Fuck you if you think that I wanted to say all those things. Maybe you don’t really know me at all.” Roman sneers. 
“I already concluded that.” 
He scoffs.
“Is this why you wanted to come in? Force me into conversation? Ask me if I’m dating anyone, give me a half assed apology and insult me?” You crossed your arms. 
“No! No, that’s not why I asked to come in.” Roman shot back. 
“Then why?” 
“Because I fucking missed you, alright? I fucking missed you and I needed to be near you, even if only for a moment.” 
Roman’s voice echoed in the kitchen, his words hanging in the air and ringing in your ears. You could hear them dance in your mind and slide down your back with a chill, taunting you and making your emotions tear in a million different directions.
“Roman, I think it’s time for you to leave.” You say, running your tongue over your teeth. 
“No! I’m not fucking leaving. Tell me you don’t miss me too.” Roman took a step toward you as he ran a hand through his slicked down hair, ruining it’s perfection. 
“I have to get up early, so I just really think you should go.” 
“(Y/N), tell me you don’t miss me and I’ll leave right now. You’ll never see me again, I swear.” 
You don’t respond, just cross your arms over your chest. You rub your hands over the skin of your arms, peaking your fingers beneath your shirtsleeves and gripping the fabric tightly. 
“Just tell me.”
You meet his gaze as Roman closes the gap between the two of you. He was close enough for you to feel his breath on your skin and the warmth he radiated. An unwarranted chill set through you. 
All hope of forgetting the past and moving on was gone, you didn’t care anymore. All you wanted was for Roman to leave. You wanted him to leave so you could wrap yourself in blankets and cry until you couldn’t see anymore.
“Roman, just go.” You whispered, your vocal chords straining to even do that. 
“It’s because you can’t say that you don’t.” Roman raised a hand a single finger tracing the features of your face and causing your eyes to drift shut. 
He traced your orbital bone and the angle of your nose and your eyebrow and ear. He traced your jaw and your chin and the shape of your ear and stopped to caress your lips. 
With each swoop of his finger tip, he was erasing hurt and anguish and pain. He was soothing you and giving you an old form of intimacy that you had craved. He was regaining his sense of self in your mind, reminding you that he could act like he had before that night. He was twining his roots back into your mind.
When his finger finally stopped, you opened your eyes and saw tears had gathered in Roman’s. They were threatening to breech from his lash line as he stared at you with a drumming heart. 
“Tell me why you hurt me first.” 
And Roman dropped his hand and said nothing for a long moment. 
“It’s a long story.” He replies, sniffling loudly through his nose. 
“I’ve got time.” 
“It’s not pretty.” 
“I don’t care.”
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You had moved to the dining room for Roman’s story. You both sat on opposite ends of your mother’s old mosaic table that you had both eaten many meals at. It was covered in vintage tiles and you picked at the surrounding grout as you listened to him. You ground your fingernails between the titles, filing them into powder as Roman told you about his birthday and everything that had happened since the night you left him. 
Of Letha. Of the child. Of the razor blades embedded into his arms. Of his mother’s tongue. Of the bloodlust. 
Of the loss.
“This is some fucking Twilight bullshit.” You said once Roman had gone quiet.
“This isn’t fucking funny, (Y/N).” Roman replied, bouncing his knee and pinching his chin. 
“No, it’s not fucking funny at all, Roman. Not even a bit, but it is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my life.” You snort a laugh from your nose. 
“You don’t believe me?” 
“Oh, I believe you. After all that shit with Peter, of course I believe you. Doesn’t make it any less ridiculous.” 
Roman raises his eyebrows in understanding with a slight nod. 
“So, what? You saying all that shit to me was because you thought you were going to suck me dry, or something?” 
“Stop making jokes.” He growled. 
“I’m being fucking serious, Roman! What was it?” You stood from your chair to impose over him. 
“You deserved better. It would have been too much for you.” 
“Oh, don’t be such a martyr, Roman!” You fumed, “Since when have you ever got to decide what was good and what was bad for me?” 
“You don’t understand!” Roman pushed up from his chair with such force it tumbled to the floor, “I could barley fucking handle this, OK? I had been living a lie, I had become a monster overnight! I was fucking scared for you- scared for me. What I could do-” 
His voice began to quiver and his palms shook as he wiped his clammy palms on his slacks. 
“You would either have left me or I would have killed you. I don’t doubt that for a second, and I couldn’t lose anyone else. Not after Letha, not after Peter and Shelley. I just couldn’t.” 
“So, pushing me away was the answer?” You asked. 
“At the time, yes.”
You just shook your head, and collapsed back into your chair.
“I did it because I loved you.” Roman said, tears streaking his flushed cheeks. 
“Stop, Roman...” 
“I fucking loved you so much so I made you leave. I fucking love you more than anything.”
He spoke like he was taking his last breath and collapsed to his knees like a dying man, his bones smacking loudly against the linoleum as he crawled to you, tears still leaking from his eyes. 
“You have to believe that I’m sorry. I am, I am, I am.” 
Roman rested his head on your lap as he wept, his hands clutching your calves. 
You felt like you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think or speak. All your mind could comprehend was Roman’s deep and encompassing sadness and his wayward soul. 
You could barely grasp the story he told, so it was unimaginable to you how it must have felt to live it. Your heart ached for him so profoundly. 
Of course you didn’t agree with what he had done to you, not for a moment. He had resorted to cruelty out of fear and you hated it. It was inexcusable. 
But, you folded yourself in half and covered his body with yours anyway, and let Roman cry in your lap. You let him cry out the fear and sadness and the exhaustion he had felt these past months. 
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You had let Roman cry himself dry before escorting him to the door. He held your hand on the way and you didn’t stop him. When you reached the door, Roman was the one to open it and step out into the cold Pennsylvania night. Though, his hand stayed intertwined with your own as he walked out onto your porch.  
“What time is the funeral?” He asked. 
“10 AM.” You replied. 
His skin seemed to glow against the night sky, his milky complexion contrasting beautifully to the dark nature behind him. 
“I’ll be there.” 
You shook your head, but squeezed his hand, “You don’t have to, really. It’s going to be long and boring.” 
“(Y/N),” He looked at you with a crisp sincerity, “I’ll be there.” 
You didn’t know what to say, because you weren’t entirely sure what you should say. You wanted to beg him not to come and make a spectacle at his attendance. You wanted to beg him to come and hold your hand and ward off the demons your father had sewn into your psyche. 
“Please, Roman, it’s not a big deal. I swear. I’m sure you have better things to do.” 
He pursed his lips back at you, like he was deciding if arguing with you on the matter was really worth it. Or if he would win or not. In the end, he said nothing. Just nodded and glanced over to his bright red Jaguar in the driveway. 
When Roman looked back to you, you both knew a goodbye wasn’t needed. Your love-telepathy coming back just for a moment to bid each other adidu for the night. An intimacy you didn’t even know you missed until now. 
Roman was the first to step away, pulling your hands apart as he did. You felt each finger detangle from his own, until your pinkies were the only things tethering you to each other. When they detached, your hand fell listlessly to your side and Roman watched you intently as he walked to his car, got in, and pulled from your drive away. Only looking away when he finally drove into the night. 
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You smoothed the dress over your hips as you smiled politely at guests entering the church. They offered you watery smiles and condolences as they spread out into the pews.
You wanted to spit in their faces and scream. Scream and sink your nails into your skin and tell them that he had painted bruises on your skin and installed his hatred for you into your heart before you were old enough to know it was wrong. 
He wasn’t a good man. He was far from it. 
But no one who was crying tears for him and shaking your hand knew this, and if they did they didn’t care. He was good at hiding what he did, what he had become. 
You felt like your head was in a fish bowl with the more people who entered. Their faces blurring and distorting before you, their words muffled and useless. You began just nodding at everyone’s words, refusing to listen to anything else they had to say about Heaven and God’s good will. You wished you had a good excuse to leave and never come back. 
It wasn’t until someone wheeled in the casket that you found your escape from the line of mourners and made your way outside. Because the second you laid eyes on the box of shiny mahogany, your stomach dropped to your feet and bile threatened to spill from your lips. 
The man you had hated your entire life, the one who had hurt you, the one who struck you, the one who had belittled you, the man who hurt your mother. That man was dead. He was in that fucking box, seperated from you and the living by a few inches of wood.
That man was your father and he was supposed to love you and now he was filled with stuffing and had waxy skin covered in blush and a heart that would never beat again. A mouth that was sewn shut and would never speak again. To never yell, to laugh, to tell you he loved you. 
It was over. 
Then why were you so sad? 
Maybe Peter was right... maybe you’d even tell him. 
As you made your way outside, you sucked in as much fresh air as your lungs could take. You let the cold air chill your exposed skin and the grey skies calm your overstimulated senses. While gulping in the breeze and pressing your fingernails to your palms to ground yourself, you gazed out over the parking lot. It was then, that you shed your first tears of the day.
Because there, all in black leaning against his car was Roman Godfrey, looking right back at you.
He’d come. 
Because he cared. 
Because he loved you. 
You didn’t think twice as he ran down the church steps as fast as your heels could take you to him, needing to feel him. Roman did the same, rushing across the asfalte to you, wrapping you in his arms immediately as you collided with his chest. 
“You came,” You sobbed into his button down, “You came, you came, you came.” 
“Of course I did.” He cooed, nuzzling close to you. 
“I needed you and you knew and you came.” 
“I’ll always come, even when you don’t call.” 
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As you both went back to the church, Roman stood with you to greet people coming in. His hand on your lower back and his grandiose stature and expression keeping people from dawdling too long to speak with you. 
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The service was bleak and full of lies, but you mustered through it without a scoff or outburst for your grandparents sake. Roman sat next to you the entire time, his arm over your shoulder and his temple resting against your head. He’d occasionally place a gentle kiss to your hairline or stroke his fingers over your arm as a reminder that he was with you. 
And you loved him for it.
When it was all over and your father’s casket was being rolled away, everyone dispersed. Some to follow the hearse to the graveyard, some to just go home. You and Roman stayed in your seats. You had decided you didn’t want to see your father put in the ground. Not because he didn’t deserve it, but because you couldn’t handle it. You weren’t sure exactly all the reasons why, maybe Peter would know the answer to that, too.
You both waited until no one was left in the church, just watching the sun gleam through the stained glass windows at the ceiling and enjoying each other's company. 
“You alright?” Roman asked once he was sure everyone was gone. 
“I don’t know. I’m still figuring that out, I guess.” You said with a half hearted shrug. 
“It’s OK. You have time.” 
You gave a nod before leaning closer to him, resting your head underneath his own, letting Roman sit his chin on your crown. 
“I thought I would be overjoyed when this day finally came… but I’m not. I’m not really happy and I’m not really sad. I’m just here.”
“I think that’s just fine.” Roman replied, rubbing gentle up and down your arm. 
“Thank you for being here.” You remove yourself from under his chin to look at him, “It would have been so much worse without you.” 
Roman offered you a soft smile and placed his unoccupied hand on your cheek. 
You placed your own hand over his and shut your eyes, reveling in his soft touch. 
It was so quiet and all you could hear was the sound of your heart in your ears and Roman’s rhythmic breathing.
“What now?” 
“I’m not sure,” You open your eyes to see he’s already looking at you, “Where are you going?” 
“Wherever you are.” 
You smile, “Then take me there.” 
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As you walked through Roman’s front door, you tried to hide a frown. The old Godfrey mansion had been so intricate and full of character. With crown molding and warm golds and rich browns, and history in every nook and cranny. Roman’s new home… it was sterile and bland and grey. It felt cold even with the hum of the radiator. It felt large and imposing, much like it’s owner. It was the type of home that echoed with loneliness.   
“So, what do you think?” Roman asked from where he stood close behind you. 
“I like it,” You said, “It’s very…” 
“You hate it.” 
You turned to face him and he was looking at you fondly. 
“I wouldn’t say hate. Just, not my style.” 
He nods and takes a step forward, “Yeah, I sort of knew you wouldn’t like it.” 
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. You always loved the old house. Said it felt like you were in a  victorian novel.” 
Your heart fluttered in your chest at his memory, “And you always hated it.” 
“I wouldn’t say hate. Just, not my style.” He grins at you and you can’t help but smile back at him. 
“So, you decided when you moved out you’d make your new place the antithesis of it?” 
“Something like that. Anything to erase the memory of my mother.” Roman says this with the cadence of a joke, but his eyes darken at the mention of Olivia. 
“I can’t say I blame you.” You reply before he quickly changes the subject. 
“Have a seat and I’ll make us both a drink,” He says, gesturing toward his large loveseat in the living room. 
You do so, and as you sit down, you admire him standing over the wet bar. He had shed his blazer from his suit on the kitchen table, and through the fabric of his button down (an expensive silk blend from the looks of it) you could so the movement of his broad shoulders and the expanse of the muscles in his back. 
The memory of running your hands across the peaks and valleys of his back stuck you. The memory of his smooth skin under your palms made your fingers burn with yearning and twitch with need to reacquaint yourself with the velvet that was Roman Godfrey’s skin.  
Roman had finished making your drinks. Both crimson in crystal tumblers. He walked to you and handed you the beverage, which you accepted with a thank you. As you took your first sip of your drink, you couldn't help but smile as Roman sat down next to you on his couch. 
“Vodka cranberry?” 
“Like I’d forget your favorite drink,” He says, smiling against the rim of his tumbler, “Well, second favorite. I don’t really have the ingredients for a Long Island iced tea.” 
“I think this works better under the circumstances, anyway. Drinking a Long Island iced tea after a funeral feels a little morbid.” 
“Yeah, but your dad would’ve hated that you were drinking one.” Roman pointed out. 
You chuckled, because he was right. Your father hated drinks where the alcohol was masked by chasers and sugar. He deemed them feminine and embarrassing for anyone to drink, ridiculing anyone (no matter their gender) if they ordered one. 
“That is true,” You take a pull from your glass, “He would have hated that you went to his funeral, too. Because, well he hated you.” 
Roman gives a wide smirk, “I can’t say that doesn't bring me some joy.” 
You could count on one hand the number of times your father met Roman during the years you dated. Though, everytime he had, he made his distinct dislike for your boyfriend overwhelmingly obvious. He thought of Roman like most other people in town did. A spoiled, rich, entitled, sauve asshole. But, for your father, he felt like he had a personal stake in hating Roman. He masqueraded like he didn’t like Roman simply for dating his daughter, but he didn’t give a shit about you or your well being. Your father, the pathetic drunk that he was, was threatened by Roman more than any man you had ever met. He was the one person who he couldn’t intimidate and feel superior too, because Roman didn’t feel intimidated or lesser to anyone in the world. 
“Me too.” 
You both drink in silence for a moment, and you pretend not to notice Roman as he inched closer to you on the cushions. 
“Do you remember,” Roman says, swallowing a gulp of his drink, “that time we snuck into that club in Philadelphia? And you and Letha, just got, like absolutely abliderated on Long Island iced teas?” 
You smiled at the memory, your lips parting with glee the more you remembered about the night. 
“Yes! Oh my God, I had totally forgot about that.”
Roman had paid off some bouncer to let the three of you into some club downtown and it had been a spectacular night. You and Letha were guzzling drinks like it was the end of the world. Roman was only encouraging your recklessness with jokes and bankrolling the bottomless teas. Letha had danced on the bar top while singing you an off key Elton John song while you drunkenly squealed with glee in a hysterical Roman’s arms. You had never seen Roman laugh so much until that night. 
You all danced and drank and laughed and smiled. You had all hid in a corner as you had fished out cocaine from a baggy with your pinky nail, and held it to each Godfrey’s nose like you were giving them communion, before blessing yourself. 
You distinctly remember hanging off Roman like a kola most of the night. Giving him sloppy kisses and groping him in the crowd with whispered promises of more when you were alone. You remember him smiling down at you and always having a hand on your ass. You remember Letha’s happy screams and giggles and how she was twirling so much on the dance floor she tumbled. 
“That was a really good night.” You said. 
Roman nodded, “It was. It was one of those rare times I could get Letha out of her shell.” 
The mood dipped from happy memories to grief as his cousin's untimely death was remembered. It was written clear as day on Roman’s face that he was far from healed from her passing.
“I miss her, too.” You placed a hand on his. 
“Yeah. Life isn’t far, huh?” You saw he was trying to ward off a wash of emotion, not wanting to wallow in her death, because it wasn’t an easy pit to push himself out of. 
“No, it really isn’t.” 
If life was fair, Olivia would have been long deceased. Roman wouldn’t have ever been coerced to do any heinous acts. Letha would be alive. Shelley would have never vanished. 
You didn’t dare bring up his missing sister to Roman, because that pain was almost worse than the wound Letha’s death had inflicted. For the both of you. 
You had learned from Peter the previous day that Shelley was still missing with no leads in finding her. You had nodded but said nothing else and he had let you. 
You had always been close with Shelley. She was so kind and sweet, and incredibly understanding and thoughtful. You were the only two women Roman truly loved and that bonded you in a way, to be the only ones to have his unfettered devotion. The thought of Shelley, out in the world alone, scared and labeled a fugitive made you sick. You couldn’t think about it for long without your nausea sparking and tears forming in your eyes. 
“What I said to you… that night? That wasn’t fair either. It wasn’t fair of me to hurt you like that.” Roman says, his eyes cast down. 
“Roman, we don’t have to do this again. It’s fine, no worries.” You said as casually as possible. 
“No, but it really wasn’t,” Roman shakes his head and rotates his body toward you. 
“I said those things because I was scared, not because they were true. You have to know that.” 
You swallow thickly and nod. Rationally, you knew that was true. After Roman had explained to you yesterday the reason for his vicious one-eighty toward you, you knew that he was only being cruel to push you away. But the words still hurt, they were still brutal enough to feel like there was an ounce of truth to them. 
“I was wrong, I can see that now, yknow? I was really wrong for all of that,” Roman lamented, “I fucked up.
“I’m sorry, (Y/N). That’s what I really want to say, what I really want you to know. And you know me, probably better than anyone in the world, maybe even more than I know myself,” He huffed a laugh, “And you know that I don’t apologize. Because I’m not wrong. I’m just not. I don’t say I’m sorry, not to anyone… but this, I gotta own up to. Because I was wrong for hurting you, pushing you away.”
You listened to Roman with baited breath. 
“You were the only person who ever really saw me. Looked into my eyes and saw past the bullshit and accepted me, loved me… and the idea of you hating me forever killed me, fucking killed me so much. But it was better than you sticking around and seeing that all that bullshit was true, and maybe I was even worse.” 
“Roman,” You rasped, gripping his hand tighter, your fingernails biting into his skin. 
“I promised to never hurt you, to protect you, keep you safe. And I failed.” 
Roman had always been protective of his loved ones. He hoarded them like a dragon with gold, prowling in front of them with bared teeth and spitting fury. You still remember the first time he pledged his devotion to you, his undying protection and loyalty. 
It was after the first time he had met your father. A dinner at the Godfrey mansion with your parents, Olivia, Shelley, yourself and Roman. It was an evening requested by Olivia to meet the parents of the girl who had bewitched her son. 
She had been her typical elitist self, turning her nose up at your middle class parents with joy. You were sure she was vibrating in her seat with happiness that she could feel so superior to your average parents. Likely hoping Roman would see this too, and kick you to the curb. 
You mother had been aimable, mostly quiet. You always thought of your mother as a very charming woman, who could talk to anyone no matter the circumstance. But, Olivia would barely let her get a word in, so she took the hint. Though, you could tell Shelley liked her, and that warmed your heart. 
The night’s conversation was dominated by Olivia for the most part, regaling the Godfrey wealth and stories of her privileged life. When she wasn’t boasting about herself, your father would be the one to chime in. Either with an offensive comment or with his poor table manners. It was like having a wild boar in the Shangri La and you felt your face heat with consistent humiliation. You could see your mother twitch uncomfortably across from you whenever he would act, and you knew she was in the same boat. 
You were already planning your apology to Roman when your father spoke up. You had been too busy stewing in your mortification to follow the conversation being had at the time. 
“Well, I tell you something, Roman. This one over here,” Your father stuck his fork over to you, “Isn’t gonna be a good little wife, not like your mother is.” 
Your father threw a smarmy grin to Olivia.
“You’re gonna have to wipe her into shape. Always wants to back talk and cross her damn arms and stomp her damn feet at you.”
Your father laughs and nuges your mother with his elbow, like he had made a joke. Like he thought this joke about you as Roman’s meek little wife would please Olivia and your boyfriend. 
Olivia laughed along and made a comment about her predisposition to wifehood because of her upbring, while Roman seethed. You could see his jaw flexing and hear the sound of his ragged breaths through his nose. You discreetly placed your hand on his lap, doing your best to calm him, but it did nothing as your father continued to make comments about your disrespectful personality, all with the cadence of a joke. 
“Why don’t you go out for a smoke?” Roman said to your father through gritted teeth. 
“Excuse me?” You father said, stopping mid sentence and glaring at Roman. 
“I said, why don’t you go out for a smoke and cool off? And when you come back, be a little fucking nicer?” 
Roman’s eyes bore into your father’s as he spoke. Your father looked furious at this teenage boy’s demand, and you were sure there was going to be a fight. Both men were incredibly hot headed, that this evening might even end in a physical altercation. But, your father just pushed up from the table and left the five of you in awkward silence. Roman relaxed once your father was gone, taking your hand from his lap and intertwining your fingers together on the tabletop. Your mother soon struck up a conversation with Olivia about the antique chaise lounge in the living room. 
Roman held your hand for the rest of the night. When your father returned, he stayed silent. 
When it was time for your parents to leave, Roman offered to drive you home. Though, the minute both you were out of sight of his home and your parents, he pulled over.
“Roman, I am so sorry about-” You began, but Roman stopped you by placing his hands firmly on your cheeks. 
“Don’t apologize. Not for that fucking man.” He said, his tone turning venomous when he mentioned your father. 
“The fucking nerve of him,” Roman spat, his hands tightening on your face, “The fucking nerve of him to speak like that about you. And to me! To me in my fucking home. I’m going to kill him, I’ll fucking kill him.” 
Roman spoke sincerely and you wondered for a moment if you asked him to kill your father, would he? 
“He’s not worth it, he’s not even worth your anger.” You sighed, placing your hand on his wrist and stroking his skin with your thumb. 
“He isn’t worth shit. That fucking cunt.” 
You couldn’t help but giggle as you watched your boyfriend speak obscenities. 
“What?” 
“You look very sexy when you’re this mad.” 
You could see Roman’s face visibly relax. You knew he was still angry, but your comment had placated him.     
“Yeah?” 
“Yeah,” You grinned at him and began to lean in for a kiss when Roman stopped you. 
You looked into his eyes again and you saw this serious demoaner was back. 
“I will never let him say anything like what he said tonight to you again, OK? Never. I’ll never let him fucking touch you again,” Roman came to rest his forehead to yours, “I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again. I will keep you safe forever.” 
And you believed him. You believed him more than you had ever believed a single person in your life. There wasn’t an ounce of you in that moment that could argue with him. You trusted him fully. 
“Ok.” Was all you could say with the emotion that was brewing from his confession, before he finally pulled you to his lips. 
It was the first time you realized you loved him. 
“All I have ever wanted is to keep you safe.” He said it with the same vigor and sincerity that he had in his original vow to you in his car on the side of the road. 
And again, you couldn’t help but believe him. 
“I forgive you.” You really did. 
He was swathing you with the salve of love and honesty, healing the wounds he carved into your skin with his earnest. 
“You were scared, you had just had your life turned upside down… I get it. It’s OK. I’m not blameless either. I said some nasty things.” 
Roman looks up from where your hands are connected and gives you a signature fierce stare.
The weight of his gaze on you feels heavy as he leans forward to set his glass on the coffee table. His eyes never leave yours as he does. As he moves back to the couch, he uses his movement to his advantage to seamlessly reach out to cup your jaw, as he settled back next to you, much closer than before. 
Goosebumps bit across your flesh as the feeling of his broad palm engulfed your face and his breath began to fan across your lips. Roman was smooth, he was graceful and agile in everything he did. Everything including the set up to a kiss, especially a long awaited and important one. 
Roman glides his middle and forefinger up to cradle your ear, to anchor himself to you before using his thumb on the underside of your jaw to tilt your chin. You blood was rushing loudly through your ears and all you could think of was him as Roman’s other arm came to rest across the back of the sofa and ecase you in his arms. He ran his tongue across his bottom lip before he descended for yours. 
And you felt euphoric. A warmth in the pit of your stomach that only Roman would kindle.
Roman nuzzled his lips against your mouth, the tip of his nose brushing your own. Your hands migrated to lay purchase on his shoulders as you let Roman pull you impossibly close to his body. You could feel his heated cheeks against your face and you could feel his racing pulse beneath your fingers as he tipped your face up and opened his mouth into the kiss. His tongue dipped past your lips and you accepted him with a soft whimper. 
Your sound of pleasure surged Roman on as he began to kiss you harder. Sweeter. Messier. Hotter. Just like he always had. 
Soon, you were flat against the couch cushions, Roman above you as his hands explored your body. Your legs bracketed his hips, pushing the heels of your feet against the tops of his thighs to keep him snug against you. Your hands clutched his back tightly, the very same back you had been craving to get your hands on since you walked through the door. 
Roman’s lips detached from your own to drift to your cheeks, your jaw and your neck. To bite, to suck and lick with his sinful tongue. You keened and moaned at his attentions, your back arching into him. The spit he left in his wake met the air in a chilling exchange that cooled your fiery skin. 
“My baby,” He said to your skin. 
“My girl,” He groaned. 
“Mine,” He bit the junction of your neck and shoulder. 
“Mine, mine, mine,” 
You didn’t want to be present while listening to his possessions. You wanted to let them grip you and own you and continue to make your stomach flutter. You didn’t want to have to tell Roman right now that you didn’t know if you could be his again…
“You’re mine, always, always, always,” Roman moaned against you, his voice pornographically seductive. 
“Yes, please,” You didn’t know what you were begging for, but you just knew you didn’t want the feeling of Roman to stop. 
“It’s me and you, we’re together again, it’ll all be OK now,” He says before giving you another sloppy kiss. 
“Be with me, be here. We can make it work.” 
Roman goes back to attacking your neck with his petal soft lips, but you were finally snapped from your the haze of pleasure he had accosted you with. 
“Roman, hold on,” You pushed your hands on his shoulder, “Stop.” 
“What?” He pulled away from you quickly, chest heaving as he looked down at you. 
He looked so boyishly innocent. His lips flush from kissing and his once perfect hair askew from your ministrations. Eyes wide and questioning. He was the most beautiful man you had ever seen. 
“I,” You took a pause, “I can’t stay here, Roman. I just can’t.” 
He looked like you’ve shocked him, stuck his finger in an electrical socket and watched. Roman pushed himself further up, but still hovered over you. 
“What do you mean you can’t stay?” He says your words back to you like they were a personal affront. 
“I live in New York now, that’s where my life is. I can’t just leave.” 
Roman’s jaw flexes and you watch him swallow. 
“What? So, this means nothing?” He gestures between your bodies. 
“No, of course not. Of course it means something.” You replied hastily. 
But, Roman was already getting up off of you and started to pace the length of his kitchen. You pushed up to watch him with concern. 
“I don’t know what you want me to do, I said I was sorry and I am. I really, truly am! So, why can’t you just stay with me? Be with me?” He argued. 
“I know you are! I do, but just because I know you’re sorry doesn’t change the fact that I have a life somewhere else now, Ro. I can’t just abandon it.” 
“Why can’t you? Just come home!” Roman threw his arms up in anger. 
“I don’t want to abandon it, Roman. I don’t want to leave. I like it there.” You move yourself onto your knees as you speak. 
“Jesus fucking-” Roman looked away from you and tugs at his hair, “I can’t believe you right now!” 
“Roman,” You sigh. 
“No! You know what? I have been declaring my fucking love for you for the past two days and that just means nothing to you? Because it doesn’t mean nothing to me.” 
“It means something-!” You begin, but Roman talks over you. 
“And that, that on the couch, that fucking meant something to me! Because you mean something to me, (Y/N). You always have and you always will.” He’s shouting now, if he had any neighbors you’re sure they would be able to hear. 
Your eyes filmed with tears as you watch him. 
“And fuck, while I’ve been going on like a bitch about how I love you, how I’m devoted to you, and you haven’t said shit! Not a word.” Roman’s eyes are beginning to wet as well. 
“Is that what this is? You don’t fucking love me?” His anger cracks as his voice quivers. 
“Roman, no!” You spring from where you knelt on the couch and rush to him, “I do, you know I do. I love you! I love you so much I ache.” 
You cry freely now as you try to clutch his face, but Roman brushes you off. 
“I love you, I have always loved you Roman. I always will. But,” 
“But what? How is that not enough!”
“I need you to love me enough to know there is nothing for me here.”
“Not even me?” His lip quivers. 
“You know that’s not what I meant,” Your hands shake and so does your breath, “I mean there is not real life for me here. You have The Tower and that’s you life, but what about me? What could I possibly do here that would make me happy?”
Roman says nothing, just swallows a hiccup that threatened to burst from his throat.
“I need you to love me enough to let me leave.”
Roman’s face crumbles into a drastic frown as he fights tears, “I can’t. I can’t do that, not again, I can’t. I can’t let you leave again.” 
“Baby,” You choke out. 
“No! I can’t, I love you. So, please, just love me enough to stay. I’ll give you everything you could ever want, anything you could ever dream of to make it better here.”
“Roman, I love you. I do, I always will. But, maybe this will be good for us. Have time apart to be our own people. I think it might even be healthy?” You say your last words with a watery smile that Roman doesn’t return. 
“I don’t want to have time apart. I had time apart from you and I was fucking miserable.” He states. 
The thought of Roman all alone in this house, heartbroken and stewing in pity and anger makes your heart convulse with pain. You thought of all the nights you slept in your dorm room, silent tears streaking your cheeks as you held your hand over your mouth in hopes to not wake your roommate. You wondered if on the nights you cried for him, if Roman had cried for you? Had he cried at all? Or while you were pouring yourself into your studies to forget him, he was fucking whores to forget you?
“Roman, please just… I love you, just please,” Again, you had no idea what you were begging for. For him to let you leave? For him to convince you to stay? All you knew was that this day had been so catosphroticlly emotionally draining and all you wanted was to fall into his arms for comfort.
“Do you want to be apart from me?” He asked bluntly. 
“Roman, just-” 
“Answer me. Do you want to be apart from me anymore?” 
Your mouth was thick with discarded tears and phlegm. All you could do was look at him and hope he understood you. To tell him you didn’t. 
His eyes softened and you knew your mental tether was still intact. 
Roman takes a step toward you and moves his head to be level with your own, “Then we’ll make this work. I’ll convince NYU to let you take online classes from here, OK? I’ll build them some new buildings - hell! A new campus. I’ll be their new biggest donor, their new favorite fucking person. I’ll give them whatever they want as long as they give me you in return.” 
“I can’t ask you to do that, Roman.” You look down at your feet. 
“You’re not asking. I’m offering.” 
You pierce your teeth into your bottom lip and look back up at him. Back at Roman with his pink, glossy eyes and hopeful gaze. 
“I love the city…” 
“Then we’ll fly up every weekend, no exceptions. I’ll buy us a loft in the heart of Manhattan.You can design it to your heart’s content. Make it will feel warm and old and us. The opposite of this place.” Roman says quickly like he knew that would be your next rebuttal. 
You gasp a sob and close your eyes tight. You feel Roman close the distance between you both and cup your face in his large hands. 
“And we will figure the rest out, whatever else is holding you back. We’ll find you your dream job or your passion or whatever you want.” 
You crack your pulsing eyes, to see Roman’s face now streaked with tears. 
“Just tell me you’ll stay.”
You knew this was a risk. You knew he was a risk. You knew leaving New York and NYU sounded naive and utterly foolish to someone on the outside of your and Roman’s relationship. You knew that you would fight with him, that you would get angry with him, that he’d work too much and that he would have to reschedule trips to the city. You knew you would get irritated with each other and you’d say something snarky and Roman would say something mean. You knew there would be nights you went to bed angry and days where you gave each other the silent treatment. You knew it would be hard. Most things involving Roman were. Expect loving him.
You knew that even with all the bad that came with a relationship with Roman, it was eons better than being without him for a moment longer now that you had him again. 
You had wanted to look to the future, to forget the past and forge a new way for yourself. Truthfully, you still did. But maybe you could start over with Roman by your side? Wash away the pain of his indiscretions and learn and grow and heal together? You hoped you could. You hope you weren’t letting your overwhelming love for the man in front of you cloud your judgements. 
So, you placed your hands on his neck and watched his face turn hopeful and said: 
“Ok.”
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i really wish i could say i loved this, but i am really on the fence about if this story is even good at all? it was better in my head. but! i hope you enjoyed it anyway and pllsss if you did, gimme some feedback <3 it makes me happy :-)
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winderlylandchime · 10 months
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1/2 And we are at 5x03 and he is excited to see Britin move in together….yeah… ‘i don’t understand in what world Brian would suck at filling up a club? Maybe the first day, sure BUT DAYS? Plural? Come on, they are making my baby boy look bad’ The groan that he let out when Mel and Linds came on screen is actually hilarious ngl. He was just dead silent and every time either of them would speak, he would just groan loudly. ‘Hold the fuck up, she’s now venting to Brian? What is he? The local therapist? Wow her hair is horrible. Nevermind, I guess he’s the local charity organization.’ And we are now at Justin/Ben/Mikey painting the house scene ‘Justin needs to paint a painting for Brian’s office. Why hasn’t he yet? (Ben mentions Britin getting a house) I highly doubt that will ever happen. I like the loft. Why is Justin so doubtful about it? See! Even Blondie knows the loft is better (ben says he needs to carry mikey in and justin says he wouldnt know what married people do) me and Justin are both gonna puke right now.’ ‘Why is Mike such a bitch? Also where the fuck is Hunter? Did he forget he has another kid? I will give my kidney up to get Brian and Justin back and not see this anymore’ Brian pops up on screen literally a second later ‘I’LL TAKE IT! They want to tear down the club for a gallery? WAIT *pauses ep* imagine a world where Brian is struggling with starting up his club like this and that someone who wants to tear it down for a gallery is Justin. Oh the hatred they’d have for each other, theyd fuck it out and be angry that theyre fucking, I should write scripts for movies. OH he said galleria not gallery. Never mind then but my idea still sounds dope. Brian looks so fucking pretty.’ The scene where Em is introduced as the Queer Guy is up *looks at his cast* ‘well this is feeling like an attack now. Why is everyone so rude to Emmett? Fuck them.’ ‘DEB IS LEAVING THE DINER?! Why? She’s retiring FOR A MAN? We aren’t worth all that. Why is blondie making me feel like he regrets being back in Pittsburgh?’ And we are finally getting some Britin and he got all happy finally ‘MY BOYS! FINALLY! (Brian hugs Justin from behind) AHHHHHHHHH LOOK AT HIM ALL AFFECTIONATE AND SHIT! Wait he dropped out again? Of course Bri Bri wants him to go back to school. Man, where was this 20 years ago? I feel like I would’ve actually graduated if I saw this and had 5 years of Brian telling me to go to school. *looks at me* dont tell dad. Of course Brian is offering him a job! Thatd be cute. Why am i having feelings over Justin putting away Brian’s suit? (The sunshine how did i scene is up!!!!) OH MY FUCKING GOD *pauses tv and slides down from the couch on the floor so he’s now sitting on the floor* no he fucking didn’t! I’m glad all three of us are aware of that!’ ‘Not Ted and Justin being Blondie Besties. Okay, Queer Guy let’s go Emy! Oh god this is bad. *covers up his face* this is so bad. What did they do to my Emmett? IS THAT ROSIE FUCKING O’DONNELL?! That was so bad. And youre telling me justin didn’t have a single joke?’ Rosie (i forgot her name) tells Deb that her husband caught her kissing her friend while making cinnamon buns ‘i can see how that makes a person wanna kiss a friend.. it’s homies supporting homies *forgets about the cast and tries to make a fist realizes it, so he makes a fist with his left arm* Ally…that was weak. I’m so sorry Rosie O’Donnell, you deserve better. I’m ashamed of this’ ‘oh Lindsay. She’s just as dumb as Michael. And that hair is still horrible’ ‘THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT! I told you Brian would make Babylon insane but you thought I was dumb! The place is PACKED! Look at Blondie standing next to his man at his club. Supportive boyfriends. Wait the club is empty?! HE PAYED THEM? That’s actually smart. Did Blondie come up with this? I love this so much.‘ ‘YOU GO ROSIE O’DONNELL! Im confused why she’s here but you go girl!’ ‘THEY THINK EMMETT IS NOT QUEER ENOUGH?’ the scene cuts to the custody bullshit ‘did Mel forget that she also cheated? All three of them are so fucking stupid. OH LINDSAY IS A BITCH.’
Hold the fuck up, she’s now venting to Brian? What is he? The local therapist? Wow her hair is horrible. Nevermind, I guess he’s the local charity organization. YEAH he's the local therapist, charity organization, fundraiser, etc etc.
I HATE MIKEY AND BEN in this season with a passion. Ugh. And then they go roping Justin into their nonsense.
Yeah Emmy being the Queer Guy is going to make a lot of uncomfortable commentary about that show given your brother is a fan. Remind him that the original version of the show was not what it is today (I definitely watched it back then too, I won't lie)
Also can we have your brother write a fic where Justin wants to open a gallery in place of Babylon and it's an enemies-to-lovers fic? OMG Justin got sent to conversion therapy, comes back this uptight version of himself, wants to take down the big bad gay club and meets Brian and...
LBR your brother, at this point, would do anything BriBri asked him. ;) including go back to college.
The how did I scene is everything. These are the moments we need to survive this awful season.
And the Rosie O'Donnell plot line. I don't even know...
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sassyhobbits · 4 years
Note
....tinder au??🥺 not to rush u ofc! but i’m having a rough time in school right now and an update would really make my week better🤍
you sent this ask at just the right time! i just finished it up! sorry for the lack of writing. school is also giving me a rough time rn as well! but!!! we will persevere!!!
also im a little buzzed so i hope this is coherent
pt 1 // pt 2 // pt 3
~~~
Rowan didn’t really enjoy dressing up, could go his entire life without attending another large, social gathering. And yet… he had let Aelin convince him to take her to a wedding.
He had forced himself into his nicest suit because Aelin told him to. He sensed that this was something he didn’t want to argue with her about, so he did it with minimal complaint. He figured that it wouldn’t be that bad in the grand scheme of things, and the open bar was certainly a perk.
Not to mention, Aedion would be there well. In fact, Rowan was on his way to his coworkers apartment where he would meet up with the rest of them before heading to the wedding. Apparently, Aedion got roped in as well. His and Aelin’s family were old friends with the groom’s family.
Rowan checked his watch as he climbed the stairs, ensuring he wasn’t late lest he give Aelin a reason to be cross with him. It seemed he was making good time.
Rowan knocked politely, the door swinging open quickly and revealing a surprisingly well-dressed Aedion, who was nursing a bottle of beer.
“Hey man,” he said, clasping forearms with Rowan. “How’re you doing? You want a beer?”
“Yeah, that would be great.”
Rowan stepped into the apartment, lingering in the living room as Aedion slipped into the kitchen. The room was decorated simply, but it was clean. His eyes caught on a few old photographs, picturing what must have been a young Aedion and Aelin together, smiling smiles too large for their little faces.
Aedion reappeared, handing him the beer.
“I can’t believe Aelin conned you into this,” Aedion commented, leaning against the back of the couch. “But, I gotta say, I’m glad you’re coming.”
“Is the company there gonna be that bad?”
“Yes. But I also know Aelin’s doing this to piss off her ex. And I was never a big fan of him. I think it’s going to be funny.” Aedion finished off his beer, glancing at the clock mounted on the wall with a sigh. “Those girls are gonna make us late. Lys! Are you nearly done?”
“You can’t rush perfection!” Lysandra’s voice called from upstairs.  
Aedion shook his head fondly with a playful chuckle, clearly used to waiting on the girls.
They chatted casually until Rowan was finished with his beer. It was then that a door opened from upstairs, followed by feminine laughter and the clicking of heels.
Lysandra descended first, looking perfectly elegant in an emerald slip dress that brought out the green in her eyes. She tossed her raven hair over her shoulder as she caught Aedion’s eye, sending him a bright and loving smile.
Rowan barely heard the two of them complimenting one another, all thoughts flying from his head at the sight of the woman walking down the stairs.
Aelin looked stunning, though Rowan knew stunning wasn’t really strong enough of a word to describe her in this instance.
She wore a golden silk dress that hit just above the knee. The conservativeness of the length was offset by the way it hugged each and every curve, as if it had been sewn on to her body specifically. Thin straps held it over her shoulders, leaving her toned arms bare. Aelin’s hair had been straightened and left hanging freely in a gleaming sheet down her back. It was then that Rowan realized how rarely he got to see her with her hair down. When Aelin was working or working out, it was always tossed up in a bun or a ponytail. It suited her. She wore a necklace, and it wasn’t until she got closer that Rowan was able to see that the pendant was a golden sword. It was strangely fitting.
She was slipping something into her clutch, barely even noticing Rowan until she nearly walked through him. Her eyes snapped up, the stunning turquoise color brought out by her eyeshadow look. Her gaze traveled from his feet to the top of his head, assessing and nothing more.
“You clean up better than I expected,” Aelin said simply.
Rowan wished he had something witty up his sleeve, but seeing Aelin in that dress had left his mind in shambles. He was only able to grind out a curt, “Thanks.”
She held his gaze for a moment longer, leaving Rowan to wonder what was going through her head. Before he had much more time to ponder it, she swept away, grabbing a jacket by the door.
“So, is everyone ready?” she asked.
“In case you didn’t notice,” Aedion drawled. “We were all waiting for you two.”
Aelin ignored the tiny quip, smoothing down the sides of her dress. “Well then, let's get going. We have a wedding to attend.”
The ride to the venue was uneventful. Aelin sat in the back besides Rowan while Aedion drove them all. The car was filled with friendly chatter back and forth, pop music droning on in the background.
Aelin tried to stop herself from sending sly glances towards Rowan. He looked good tonight. Really good. Rowan was hot on a day to day basis, something that not even his drab PT uniform could hide. But tonight, all cleaned up and dressed in something nice, Rowan was unfairly handsome.
Her only solace was knowing that he was checking her out too. Aelin knew she looked amazing tonight. Part of it was for herself, and she wasn’t ashamed to admit that part of it was to gain Rowan’s attention. She had been successful in that endeavor.
Aelin wasn’t stupid. She knew Rowan found her attractive just as Rowan knew she found him attractive. They had been ready to go out and probably bang until they realized that they were coworkers. Aelin had agreed to keep it professional, but she would be lying if she said that she didn’t want something more with him.
Soon enough, Aedion was parking the car outside the venue. They filed out, Aelin smoothing and straightening her dress, a sort of heaviness in her gut as she looked towards where the ceremony would be held. Although she was excited to see Dorian, and happy that he had found love, she was less than excited about seeing Chaol again.
The scent of pine and snow surrounded her just as Rowan came up to her side.
“You ready?” Aelin asked him, to which he gave a stiff nod. “Good. Don’t embarrass me.”
Rowan scowled, but held out his arm for her regardless. Aelin took it, stepping close to his side, trying to ignore how nice the warmth of his body felt against her own.
It was time to get this over with.
The ceremony was simple yet beautiful. Any idiot could see how in love Dorian and Sorscha were with one another. Aelin had only met the bride on a few occasions, but she liked her. Sorscha looked stunning in a flowy gown that made her brown skin glow.
Aelin pointedly ignored Chaol even though he stood right by Dorian the entire time. Instead, she looked at the maid of honor, Yrene, who her ex was now dating. Through talking to Dorian, Aelin had learned that Chaol and Yrene had met through Sorscha. Apparently, the two women worked at the same hospital and were close friends.
Yrene was a beautiful woman with kind eyes. Aelin knew in her gut that she would like her once they got to talking. Perhaps they would find time to chat through the night.
The ceremony ended with a sweet kiss and the happy couple going off to take some photographs. For the guests, it was time to cocktail.
Rowan, at least, was playing the part of a boyfriend well. Without complaint, surprisingly. He held her hand as they went towards where cocktail hour was being held, a steady presence. He even chatted with her, asking her questions about how she knew Dorian. When she whispered snide comments about other guests, he even laughed a few times. It was… nice, she supposed. She was having a good time with him.
Lysandra and Aedion were swept up by Dorian’s parents, leaving Aelin and Rowan by themselves.
The more they drank, the more comfortable they became. It was easier to laugh, easier to forget why they had put distance between them to begin with. They had been pretty good at avoiding conversation with others to begin with, but Aelin knew it was only a matter of time before they crossed paths with someone.
“So what do we say if someone asks how we met?” Rowan asked as they grabbed another drink from the bar.
“We tell them the truth,” Aelin deadpanned. “Sexting on tinder.”
Rowan choked on his whiskey. “We cannot say that.”
“Fine. We can be boring and say we met at work.”
Rowan laughed, and Aelin realized how much she loved the sound. She liked how it softened his normally stony face, made him appear younger, lighter. She could get used to seeing him like this.
They turned from the bar, taking a few steps into the crowd, only to come face to face with the reason Aelin had dragged Rowan along to begin with.
“Aelin,” Chaol Westfall greeted, offering a shaking and awkward smile. “Hi.”
The smile that had been painted on Aelin’s face faltered slightly. She had been enjoying her time with Rowan so much she had forgotten why she had wanted him by her side to begin with.
“Chaol,” Aelin said, smiling tightly. “It’s good to see you again.”
Yrene was on his arm, looking stunning in a deep purple dress, curly hair loose and voluminous. Her honey eyes were bright and kind as she smiled at Aelin.
“You too,” Chaol said, before motioning towards the woman beside him. “This is Yrene. My girlfriend.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” Yrene greeted, reaching out and shaking her hand. “I love your dress.”
“Oh, thank you! I’ve been looking at your shoes all night.” Aelin put a hand on Rowan’s shoulder, pressing herself to his side. “This is Rowan.”
Aelin watched carefully as they all shook hands and greeted one another, carefully studying facial expressions and body language. She had wondered if this would be awkward and tense but… it was normal.
Aelin and Chaol had ended on terrible terms, treating one another like actual shit. She remembered the insults thrown, the glares when they happened to be in the same room. But maybe… maybe they had gotten better. Maybe some time and distance had eased away the worst of the anger and toxicity. She didn’t look at Chaol and feel bad anymore she felt… nothing.
But she could tell that Chaol had Yrene and he cared very much about her.
And Aelin had…
Well, she didn’t really have anyone but…
She looked to Rowan, and for once didn’t try to avoid the longing that swelled in her chest. She wished she had him.
Aelin sat down at her table, sipping at a glass of champagne and watching the people on the dancefloor sway slowly to the soft music playing.
The rest of the evening had gone by smoothly. Aelin enjoyed the time she spent with her friends, getting to see Dorian again even though she couldn’t steal much of his time. All and all, it had been fun.
The night was winding down, people filtering out slowly, but there were still those who lingered for a few more dances. Dorian danced with his new wife, both looking at one another with so much love Aelin could feel it from where she sat. Lysandra smiled and laughed and Aedion twirled her around. Chaol held Yrene to his chest as they swayed slowly, lost in their own world.
Aelin sighed and rested her chin on her palm, watching them all move.
There was the sound of footfalls coming her way, stealing her attention from the dance floor. She looked up and found Rowan standing before her, looking to where her gaze was just focused but glancing back at her with a raised brow.
“Do you want to dance?”
Aelin blinked in surprise, sure she had heard him incorrectly. Rowan didn’t seem like the type of man who enjoyed dancing but… the offer hung there.
“You don’t have to,” Aelin said softly. “You did your part.”
“I can tell you want to dance. So, let’s dance. It’s almost time to go anyway.”
Aelin hesitated a beat, studying Rowan’s expression carefully. She didn’t want him to do anything he was uncomfortable with, yet his face showed nothing but sincerity. Rowan held out a hand towards her, brow raised as if to say Well? Are you coming?
A hesitant smile found its way onto Aelin’s face, but she accepted his hand, letting him guide her to her feet. Rowan led her to the center of the dance floor, placing a polite hand on her hip, the other clutching her own. Their eyes met for a brief moment, and Aelin could have sworn time stopped. Maybe she had imagined it, but she was almost sure she saw a flash of the same longing she felt in his eyes.
They began to sway slowly to the music. It was a little awkward at first, but as time passed and the notes rang out, the tension lessened. They moved closer and closer to one another, until to a stranger they might have actually appeared to be a regular couple. It felt more natural than Aelin expected it to.
As the songs played, they kept sending one another shy smiles. Aelin wasn’t sure at what point she rested her head against Rowan’s chest as they danced, but she never wanted that moment to end.
It was a shame that the reception was inching to a close, that the night of being close to Rowan would end. It was a shame that, come the morning, they would go back to being strangers once more.
But, for tonight, Aelin was content to pretend.
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