#but im glad i don't have time anymore
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I just finished the Fifth Season and HOLY SHIT THIS BOOK IS ABSOLUTELY INSANE
I need a recovery therapy cause so many traumatic events happening like what the hell?????? So many questions left unanswered, and I didn't buy the next book 😭😭😭😭
But the last fucking sentence?????? They don't have a m-????? Is that what he means when asking???? Is that the thing that has been missing??? Are you fucking kidding me????? And you throw that at my face while I'm trying to recover from some very fucked up situations???? What am I supposed to do with all of this?????
Anyway so far, best book I've read in a while, 100% would recommend to go to therapy over this book
#the fifth season#the broken earth trilogy#in another time i would have read this in two open days#but im glad i don't have time anymore#cause i digest it the way i should#really loved how some things were hinted subtly so i gueesed them before it became obvious#and how i didn't understood some things but it does make sense when finding out#now that I'm thinking about it#they did not mention the **** a single time while talking about the sky and stuff#like wtf#explain why the seismic activity is so fucked up#where is she??????#is that what father earth is so pissed about in the legends???#I mean fair#also I really want to know everything about the guardians#it's so fucked up#also they lowkey remind me of the red templars from dragon age#anyway#what I'm saying#is that I need to go to the bookstore this week
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♪ In My Head ♪
Anna Nalick
╾━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╼
◃◃ II ▹▹
Here on out I'll try to provide a bit of context so we can follow along a bit better: Noah and Cody aren't really a "thing" yet. They kissed once in the Yukon by accident (as they tend to do) and neither has stopped thinking about it since. No one seems to notice, but Alejandro Cannot Be Fooled
#that took…… a while!#but im glad I took my time cause the Owen panel is really really funny to me and I almost didn’t draw it#this is so much fun! are you guys having fun?#the little story the associated music it's all so fun to me#I don't really have anymore to say I'm just glad I get to make stuff like this#next kiss is fun. do you know what the next kiss is. it's the best one.#Starry makes art#total drama#world tour but noco are the only ones kissing#total drama world tour#tdwt#total drama noah#td noah#total drama cody#td cody#cody anderson#noco#total drama noco#td noco#total drama owen#td owen#technically
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hahaha wheee haha
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#continuing to tag ship instead of answering any of the reporters' questions#as you can see. I am still on my Reki Speaks English Pretty Fluently But Can Not Read It For Shit bullshit#and also. teen shenanigans. which can also be grown up shenanigans if ur not a square#man. todays been a Whole thing. how was it really the case that every art supply store I went to ran out of black ink#three! I went to three stores! literally a triangle in the city!#still have some of the devils tar left but I'm not enthusiastic about it#well! that's for future baku to care about and for me to ignore babeyy#tbh this is like. Im just glad I can still scribble a funny comic when it strikes me it's been too long#I don't do that a lot anymore... even tho its such a good measure of like. ur sense of timing#if u can draw a funny comic ur powerful enough to do anything. u can eat the sun u can kick its ass. u can draw a sad comic too#I realized I missed that...#also accidentally sent this from draft without adding tags lol. and tried adding tags on mobile and it spit in my face and called me a bitch#got enough of that. one must never forget one's currently on tumblr#now I sleep. gods. gods do I need a bit of that#have a good night lads. bring a worm onto a rollercoaster. see what happens
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#IM SO STRESSED IM SO STRESSED#I feel like I'm not handling ANYTHING well rn#so many people have symptoms that are WAAAAAAY fucking worse and they're like. working full time jobs and being a parent and shit and#I'm like waaah oh no I have body aches and chronic fatigue looks like I'll have to be unemployed and never do anything ever 💀#how am I gonna live?? like. my parents are taking care of me and I'm so fucking glad but#SOMEDAY THEY WONT BE AROUND and that stresses me out so bad#I'm 25 years old and I NEED my mom every day if not physically then emotionally because I'm a little bitch baby that can't do anything for#herself. im having a hard time feeding myself I'm having a hard time keeping my living space clean#I'm not taking care of anything except the dogs sometimes and my lizard and she's not getting as much attention as she used to#I need a job and I need to be able to suck it up and DO THINGS but I feel like I'm not the person u was anymore#I was strong and I could push thru things and make myself do things and now I can't???? I just lay on the fucking couch!! and feel bad abtit#is it the tism. is it the ADHD. what about the chronic depression. how bout the fibromyalgia?#and the thing is that ALL OF THOSE THINGS ARE MILD#I don't have severe pain (yet).#I just can't handle it I don't WANT to handle it#so. shoutout to my mom I guess because if it wasn't for her I simply wouldn't be alive#I feel like I've never been happy!! why can't I just be content and be happy!!!!#I have no fucking reason to be unhappy!!!!!!
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fine line . Edinburgh N2 . via adoreyoualice
#harry styles#fine line#this is the longest video i have found and i want to keep it here in my dragon den of harry treasures#magic#maybe im glad auslot didn't get fine line cos i would have been on my knees and i couldn't have seen THIS 4 times over jesus#i don't even know how to tag this your anymore#your is tour but now thats the tag
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would u guys mind if i made a new tag list form and completely restarted them. be honest.
#DOING A POLL IS SO SCARY. WHAT IF NOBODY VOTES literally the most humiliating thing ever Guys Please.#like. i absolutely don't mind having them and putting in the effort. i love u and i am glad u like my blog#but when i'm checking specific charas + do not tags for every person every post#and tumblr doesn't let me just copy paste the list. i have to backspace + retype the last letter of every user to find them#and i can't tag like. 1/5 of the people. or i don't see them see it. it's like. oh!#like my hq list has 70 ppl. and i write for hq most so u can see how it can get. Bahahaha#not interacting is not a terrible thing 4 me. like i'm not Watching to see if u interact. this is for U. what u do with my tag is up to U#but if it's because u don't want to be tagged anymore but don't want to tell me or smth I'd like 2 save us both.#bc i think the only time i've noticed some of these users is when i'm tagging them LIKE IM STARTING TO FEEL BAD DO U NOT WANT 2 BE TAGGED..#..anyway. let me know. Heart Emoji
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me when i stop caring too hard
#-about something that's still bothered me for i think 3 months#i don't care. i want to write this somewhere#and after connecting a few dots with a few situations - im glad this is where it is now#in fact. this just made me realize a few things that i didn't notice back then#and I'm glad that i don't have to deal with it so much anymore#they were so willing to let go of me anyway. its pointless trying to go back and care again when im certain its going to happen again#the only thing im worried with is how it'll affect others#and im sure it will. to some capacity.#things like these are really like an injection#it will sting so hard when it happens. especially for the first time (me). but when you look back on it you realize it's not that bad-#-and it's probably actually for the better#now when i try to recall the past events. i don't feel like crying or getting emotional. i feel neutral - maybe a little puzzled#but nothing of strong emotions#maybe I will think about it from time to time but#consider it like a reflection#does it mean i moved on? maybe not. because it just comes to me whether unprompted or not#anyway. im going home#i guess the only thing that did to me now in the present is just. made me more wary of what i come across#actually. ill never forget what they described me. the absolute gall to say that is really appalling#i am sorry if this will upset someone. but i want to say what i want to say
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my tummy hurts... and i don't wanna be brave about it anymore... ;;
#i think its purely from stress now#i want to quit my job. and i feel like i have to now#there's too much risk of re-injuring my back from having to lift and move heavy stuff for people#plus i already have thought about quitting before. but kept with it for other reasons#and. i was almost terminated recently. but it was absolute bullshit so i got a 'second chance'#im glad i did bc i got some sweet stuff right after that lol#but like. i can't do this anymore. its not healthy for me mentally or physically now#im mostly just. done with it. i've been doing this for 3.5 years. the exact same thing#i need something new. i need time to relax#i have realized that. i don't think i have had a moment of actual peace. in Years.#or like. ever djdgdjd#i have always been stressed out about something or other since moving out. since coming back home#and living w my parents again. back in college. back in high school. like All The Time#i truly do feel sick to my stomach rn... i just don't want to do this anymore. period. im sick of it#vent
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murder time trio come back from killing some guy (me) and dust just pulls out a rainbow cleaning duster and starts dusting himself off. horror questions him. he says it's self care
#killer recommended it#and then it becomes a normal thing for dust to dust all of them off after murder time#monster dust gets into horror's skull and then dust has to dig around in there with his feather duster#guys cmon he cant ALWAYS be dusty it probably feels weird#who wants to be perpetually covered in the dust of those you murdered like hello#duster sales in the utmv must be crazy high with how many murderers there are#there was dust on killer's skull and dust tried to be nice and use it on his skull. and then his DT got on the duster#killer's face then became a banned space for usage because that shit fucking ruined the feathers!!!!!#each of the mtt have customized dusters. killer uses pressurized gas (the type of stuff you use on keyboards to get rid of dust)#because he'd be fucked up like that and wouldnt care if its dangerous (is it?? idk). he points it to dust and horror like its a weapon#i already said dusts. horror would have one of those really fancy feather dusters because he's sensitive or something#also horror needs only the highest quality of duster for himself. dust and killer don't get to use his shit#guys why is it not called MAD time trio. if bad time trio was using the youre gonna have a bad time quote#and mad time is a direct alternation of it...... then why not mad time trio......????#because it's too dust focused??? OKAY HELLO THE GROUP IS LITERALLY NAMED AFTER HIM. MURDER. MUUUURRRDDDERRR TIME TRIO#get the fuck outta here mad time trio is cooler. i'll still call them murder time trio because its more unique#hahaha guys ignore the last two posts i didn't even have THAT bad of a day at school#triglycercule is just dramatic as fuck and going to school triggered something inside me or something#just the ever so slightest mental spiral but we stay🔝🔝🔝#im absolutely gonna delete those posts i can NAUGHT have people seeing me fall from grace like that#like smh i was just being dramatic ngl 🙄🙄 stfu triglycercule you didn't even need to post about it!!! you just want attention#this kind of mentality is what caused me to post that and then not post for a few days. i should probably stop#i need to stop typing out my mental dialogue of angel and devil on my shoulder i always end up insulting and apologising TO MYSELF?????#triglycercule's biggest hater is....... TRIGLYCERCULE!!!! thank you thank you i know i'm glad to be up here too#voted for all of the mtt in the sexyman polls. saw they all lost. i will not be voting at all anymore#i need to rant about this in a several post i am upset#tricule hc#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans
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nikivirus > waveknight
This change has been a long time coming, for a multitude of reasons, and I'm glad to have finally settled on something.
You can now find me as waveknight pretty much everywhere including bluesky (except twitter, which is @waveknight_). I'm sure I missed a few spots, but gradually I will find all the places i can change my name and get all those moved over!
Since this is gonna be replacing my pinned post for the time being, a reminder that I'm still open for commissions on ko-fi, and I'm probably gonna be adding some new options soon! (and as always you can email me about custom comm options at [email protected] )
#im glad to have finally just bitten the bullet#i haven't really felt like i identified with nikivirus for a long time#because i chose it when i was 14 lmfao#and now that i don't even really go by niki anymore#i identify with it even less
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i can hear the frogs ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა ♡ there's this fenced off area nearby with tall grass and a pond in the middle they have to themselves. there are so many of them!
u can hear them in the distance from my back patio but i followed the sound one night and found the source 😌 it's good to hear them again.
#hello spring‚ i see u coming 🙏🏾#i know we're getting out of winter because i can just wear pants in the back now instead of needing like 5 layers for it to be tolerable 💀#y'all i have been SUFFERING 😭#before i started hrt i could b chillin w a frappe in a tshirt in 20°F no problem but that is very not the case anymore lmaoo#rn it's 44° and I'm fine w just my lil jacket 👼🏾#im not sure how cold is “cold” to me actually 🧐#anyways.. i love spring. spring and autumn r my favorite seasons#my favorite part of spring is seeing the transition into it. u know when flowers start budding and ur walks start looking noticably more#vibrant 0: and the different animal sounds and encounters. get a lil boost of energy myself (✿ ‚‚⌒‿⌒‚‚) spring is lovely!#part of why i like hanging out in the back is bc i genuinely love to watch the seasons go by and participate 😔💕#i feed animals year round! rn the seeds i feed to the birds during the day attract bunnies at night - usually just 1 at a time#and the bunnies attract the dog that's not a dog I've seen twice so far o: interesting stuff!#I'm glad as it ran off after the rabbit it didn't notice me bc it passed by right in front of me 💀 but idk#the other time they were just passing by on the other side here n we noticed each other n locked eyes for a bit then they kept waking#it wasn't threatening or anything but i don't know what they are ૮ – ﻌ–ა hmm. i would love to see them again
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#so we kicked out a roommate for disregarding our covid precautions and being a general dick about my long covid#we didn't have him pay rent for the first three years of the pandemic#because times were hard#this is some of the stuff he did on the way out#i guess im glad he didn't use the spray paint?#he took the raised parts of the raised beds#i wish i had half the energy he has to be petty#we only had him paying 300 for a room when we asked him to start paying rent again#partially because times are hard and partially as an apology for me being disabled#because i can't perform to his expectations anymore#anyway big sigh of relief#also fuck leftists who don't mask
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want to get back into warframe after seeing jade. however, am too intimidated to get back into warframe because i feel like I've fallen behind too much to catch up with everything especially since they're taking difficulty more seriously now... eugh :( *violently throws up out of anxiety*
#hate fomo hate fomo hate fomo#i think it's because i was already struggling to keep up when i WAS playing#so now that i have to climb another step when im already behind is gut wrenching#i know that a part of it is that good gear is locked behind difficulty and grind but i really just don't have time to commit to that anymore#idk. ik im catastrophising... i hope that jade's update isnt difficulty locked#i think that's also why i didnt rly care for dante's update. he's out of reach so why bother#im glad warframe's committing to setting up proper endgame/actually difficult content now but personally#the gameplay loop/effort required doesnt make the rewards worth it ahdksnfjsbfke#and i hate the feeling of getting carried and being gifted stuff bc of my tremendous bad luck and ik that's a bad ungrateful mentality#but ugh!!!!!!!!!! :(((((((((((((#not tagging this as wf because it's too negative sowwy
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I am working 6 days next week someone shoot me in the head
#I just DID 6 days!!!!!!#and I think I'm working 10 hours tomorrow 🫠🫠#my manager was like 'oh but you're on vacation after that so you'll be fine! you're young!'#yes but I'm BUSY DOING STUFF during my time off next week!!!!#ughgghh#yeah it's money. and it'll be slow so I can most likely knock off a few books (which I'll be glad to do)#but still.#like I want to spend 12 hours reading my (physical) book (since I just read downloaded ones at work)#and I want to spend 7 hours binging a show#and I want to change my Tumblr themes. like you don't understand!#also im apparently training someone tomorrow!?#why. the season is almost over and it's not busy anymore.#also she's like a member!? so idk why but it just feels weird#I might send her home early cause honestly. she prolly doesn't need to stay the whole day#idk I feel weird training her.#so I only have Saturday off 💀
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This one is titled "I needed to urgently work on a presentation* so instead**, I somehow spent my whole day doing fuck all instead and the evening listening to Laura's Buam and consequently experiencing the whole spectrum of human emotions over the span of like, four to six songs" and goes out to @mondscheinprinzessin, naturally, for dragging me into this band.
#* for a subject I actively hate with a burning passion#**knowing it will lead to me crying for the x-th time this semester over being stressed and losing#my last bits of motivation for my studies that I once was very passionate about + general other life stuff i can't cope with anymore#the first one means i read the wikipedia page of passau and we all know once you google stuff related to the band but unrelated to#their music it's all over#i'm so glad i know fuck all about them otherwise or i'd be stopping myself from hopping on over to ao3#i'd love to know what makes me want to read/write fanfic about a band or book or show or whatever.#with blind channel it was there very quickly; with lost society i still don't care; with bojan/käärija i'm interested in the authors more#than the fics; and with lonely spring it's like hmmmm. no urge to look if there's fanfic about them found anywhere in my brain.#anyway laura tell your buam to stop making sad music! they have to stop with these far too relatable lyrics!#should i just print this out and take it to my therapy appointment on friday?#mine#lauras buam#lonely spring#ich hab gedacht passau wär ne großstadt aber nein da wohnen 50.000 leute und es ist halb so groß wie dornbirn und#nur viermal so groß wie mein dorf ☠#und ein viertel von den leuten sind studenten. die stadt muss im sommer so tot sein wie innsbruck#PASSAU IST KLEINER ALS INNSBRUCK. 35 KM^2 KLEINER. wtf. how. warum hab ich gedacht das wär ne großstadt#aber ich könnte vor meiner haustür in den inn hüpfen und mich bis passau treiben lassen. laura pspsps wie wärs mit passau auf der nächsten#tour statt augsburg? die stadt liegt genau an einem großen fluss bzw zusammenlauf von drei flüssen mit drei verschiedenen farben
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I do feel bad having a lot of reblogs centering around transmasc issues specifically and not more posts about transfem and nonbinary people, but unfortunately, repulsive lateral violence is the current discourse, which means that a lot of posts made about those issues are said BECAUSE "who is actually the most oppressed" is the current topic of discussion. So even posts that seem normal or even agreeable have language you have to look suspiciously at and when you check op you do in fact find that those posts about transmisogyny are because they got mad trans men are speaking up about the violence they face.
It's very similar to how ace discourse was. Completely normal seeming posts, in the context of a really bad couple of years where saying you're ace/aro publicly even once led to getting anon hate, were actually criticisms of the idea that other people face hardships. Hell, though people scoffed at it when I said it, even completely unrelated FANDOM posts could be clocked as being made by someone whose current fixation is hating on aspec people by the way they keysmashed. Because it wasn't just a discourse, but like a fandom, and fandoms follow quirks and trends and I could read it in a keysmash easily, check their blogs, confirm I was right, and block.
Anyway my point being that the issues, general and more specific, faced by non-transmasc trans people INCLUDING those issues caused by other trans ppl is EXTREMELY important to me, however I just unfortunately don't see a lot of people talking about it in good faith. And hell, me talking about my experiences about how afab trans people have harassed, sexually assaulted, misgendered, body shamed me, and leveraged their agab specifically to harm and exclude me for not being like them is something that I can't talk about without worry of it coming off as "trans men are evil". That's just the current culture. A reasonable worry of a post sounding like thinly veiled transphobia is silencing victims of the thing these transmasc oppression deniers claim to hate.
Anyway I definitely do reblog good posts like that when I see em but I'm really not on Tumblr much anymore
#i dont Owe anyone an explanation but i do feel bad about it#it sucks!#oh also im very pro Palestine but i don't think ive reblogged a ton of posts about it on here??? i honestly cant remember#i do that on other social media but typically i only come on Tumblr now to look at very specific things#some fandom stuff. mostly all the poll accounts i follow#i kinda just rb the things i happen to see when i do so#i don't have an active follower base (most of em deactivated years ago) anymore so im not worried about Not Using My Platform for good#because i lost that platform! and i dont regret it. ppl will turn on a child on a dime for the crime of being annoying. im glad i went#inactive for a long time#but anyway#im not misusing the platform i no longer have by not reblogging pro palestine posts#but i should go look for some#Tumblr search does not fucking work anymore but if it decides to one time i could at least go back to it as reference#for links and stuff
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