#but im expected to test them on the content several time

[muji-milk]

1 week at new job and i want to kms

[softcitrus2345]

Hello! This may sound a bit weird, but do you have any advice or recommendations on getting into this niche? I've kind of been watching from afar on several blogs, and I really want to try and test the waters! But I'm not really sure how to go about it, and I'm super scared that I'll end up just talking to a brick wall, having my mutuals find out, or have people ridicule me :')

Thank you for any and all help - I love your art!! Been hanging around for a while now and the progress you've made is so cool

- Clueless Anon

Oh I totally getcha! That's not a weird question at all! /gen /pos

Starting out with this kinda thing is really difficult, I know from experience. It took me months to hype myself up enough to even create this blog, let alone start posting on it, and I had (and still kinda do) those same fears you expressed, they're all very valid but hopefully what I share can help a bit with making your experience more manageable :3

The information I'll share here consists of opinions based on my personal experience posting on this blog, and getting into the belly kink community in general

I'll break it up into steps from what I sorta did when I started out so it makes a bit more sense.

STRUCTURE YOUR BLOG - Make an introduction post with general information about what to expect from your blog, and some other information about yourself if you want to. I like to include a few other things like some of my hard boundaries and leave it as a PINNED POST so that anyone who comes across your account will see this information

BLOCK YOUR MUTUALS - I have the same exact fear of being "found out" by people im close to or just know outside of this space, so once you set up the bare essentials on your blog, look for your mutuals accounts and block them. If you think a mutual of yours might have a blog but you're not sure, ask them! (Something I did was I asked my mutuals to send me their blogs so I could check them out when in reality it was so I could do this exact thing) Don't see blocking as something inherently malicious or bad, it's just a protective measure and a way to curate your experience on the internet in a way that is comfortable for you!

INTERACT WITH YOUR FELLOW ARTISTS! - I know it may not seem like something super important, but interacting with other artists is a very good way to establish yourself in the community, reblogging, tagging and replying to posts you like with nice comments have the potential for others to check out your blog or interact with you as well! I got lucky enough that I found similar communities outside of Tumblr beforehand, but it's still an effective way to get yourself out there and seen!

START POSTING! - Besides my intro post, my first post was something that I wanted to curate in a way that would encourage conversation. I shared several of my ocs that I planned on posting here and some basic information about them, and opened up asks! It's always gonna be a pretty slow start, but as long as you put the time into your work and are passionate about what you want to share, people will find your stuff! It's hard sometimes, especially when comparing yourself to others is such a common thing for people to deal with (including myself sometimes) but everyone's gotta start somewhere!

Starting out anywhere is difficult in itself, but with things like this that are more sensitive subjects for people, I completely understand your uncertainty and nervousness about sharing this kind of content online. But as long as you're not hurting anyone or sharing harmful content, I don't see why people should be so stinky about others just trying to explore different parts of themselves and their interests.. Kinks shouldn't inherently be seen as something to be ashamed of just because someone doesn't understand it. I've been lucky enough to have close friends in this community who have helped me become more comfortable with myself and with sharing my chonky art, and I'm incredibly grateful for that.

I'm flattered you came to me for advice, I hope some of that can help you on your journey, and thank you for sticking around for so long, it means a lot to have your support ;;w;; 💖

I hope things go well for you! I'm cheering you on anon!!

[steel--fairy]

Character Headcanons #1

champions and the leadup to them becoming champions!

lance started his journey at 14, the traditional age in the dragon clan to let kids go out on journeys. they have to pass a certain test in order to receive a dragon type and he did (clair failed the first time rip). his first pokemon was a dratini ofc. he did all the johto gyms, beat the e4 and made champion rank, then went on to the kanto gyms (which i see as being a common thing among high level trainers from kanto and johto. you do your own region and make it to the champion level if you can then try the other 8 across the mountain). he travelled the world for a few years and after he returned, he joined the e4 at about 24ish and made his way up to being the leader of the e4. he was pretty content in that position but wasn't too upset to become sitting champion when red unexpectedly left.

steven became a trainer a bit older than most expect. he was content to travel and mine rocks and never really considered being a trainer until a bit after he turned 16 and his dad was like "well you're old enough to start learning how to take over from me someday : )" and steven was immediately like "actually i think im gonna try being a trainer I'll come back latermaybebye" and yeeted himself out of rustboro faster than you can say electrode. he ended up being very good at training which was just a bonus. shortly into his journey he learned about mega evolution and completely halted doing the hoenn gyms to yeet himself to kalos to learn about it properly. when he gets back he basically just. curbstomps everyone with the fairly unknown mega evolution ability and becomes champion at around 19ish.

wallace comes from a family thats very established in the contest circuit, with several older sisters who were all master ranks coordinators. he started young (10 or so) and very quickly rose to being a top coordinator in hoenn. however his older sisters all eventually stopped competing leaving him miles ahead of the rest. its very boring when you're basically just competing against yourself so he was like "well im going to try being a trainer now : )" at 16ish and was instantly successful at that too. it also scratched his competitive itch a bit better, especially when he became a gym trainer (and later gym leader) for juan as he liked the challenge of trying to fit his team to the challengers level. it got even better when this one guy managed to absolutely destroy everyone in the gym despite having a pretty severe type disadvantage and they became best friends and rivals : ) as for being champion, he takes over from steven shortly after the whole team magma-aqua fiasco.

cynthia had a very protagonist like journey. she set out at 12ish with her gible, got a pokedex from prof rowan and set about filling it (though she had already gotten a badge or two by the time she ran into rowan), had some grand adventure, became champion very young (13 or so) and has held onto her title ever since.

alder is super interesting to think about because he's old lol i imagine that the unova league was still fairly newish at that point in time so the concept of going to a gym to battle was very thrilling and unique, though not everyone thought it was a good thing. alder started his journey pretty young (13ish?) and took his sweet time doing the challenge as he just loved exploring so much. he only became champion at like 18 or 19 and not because he was bad at battling. he was probably one of the first champions in unova and reigned for quite a few years. then of course his first partner volcarona died. he resigned from battling for a long while until pulled back in a bit before bw starts. the previous champion unexpectedly retired due to illness, and since they hadn't been ousted by battle, all the members of the pokemon league voted for a new champion. alder was fairly surprised when he got a call saying he was up for champion duties round 2 if he wanted them, but agreed to come back until a new champion won the title.

iris challenged alder and won : ) haha, she's just a bit too young to have as much history as the others lol she wasn't ever a gym leader, but she did work as a gym trainer for her grandpa which was great practice.

diantha came from a rich family who wanted her to focus more on her acting career than battling but diantha was insistent on taking time off to try the gym challenge. (her parents were mortified. it's one thing to have a few leisurely battles at the battle maison where you can make connections but to join the rabble in the gym challenge? eugh.) but her parents bought her a specially bred ralts and off she went. she was young enough (14 or so) but by that point she had a decent acting career which led to her being noticed every so often. she quickly became champion (diantha's good and kalos doesn't exactly have a strong battling culture) which caused a huuuuuge argument between her and her parents who were still very stage parenting her.

leon is like cynthia. he was basically another little 10 year old protagonist prodigy who quickly rose to the top. but for some hc's, he got his sponsorship from kabu. motostoke was the closest gym so he and sonia took the train there to ask for it. kabu, as most gym leaders do, asked for a battle to see if they were good enough and was blown away by leon's already evident skill with his charmander.

[velvetwyrme]

ouuaauauagaha i just got home and i was so sad the whole way back :-(( I can't articulate what i feel but dee (??) and pax DDD: their friendship :'(( i love whatever they have it's so GRHRHHHGHH the animations and visuals are sooo pleasing to the eye and so good auauaga the choreography of the fight scenes are so ?!??!!$(#((#($? also sooooo foul for that sentinel keychain omg id get one if i could lololol

im so happy i watched tfone i loved every single second of it (my faves r bee and dee auauuaah) i rlly wanna know where to go after this movie what do you recommend reading/watching after?? :00

YAAY IM GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT!! And yeah!!!! TF One is inherently kind of a tragedy since it's a prequel... Orion Pax/Optimus Prime and D-16/Megatron's dynamic before the war hurts me so 😭😭 my little HEART...

Omg yes the fight choreography 💖💖 I especially loved how they included their transformations into the fighting scenes (even more so because some of the specific transformations were ones they had trouble with at the beginning, and now they've learned how to use them and I thought that was pretty neat! is it obvious I've seen thsi movie 3 times now rhdkfbdkfbk)

And thank you ;]] I aim to be extremely ill about characters always. Sentinel. Oh, Sentinel...

Bee and Dee my beloveds!!! 🤝 I was surprised that I liked Bee as much as I did in this- he's the comedic relief but I LOVE HIM SO MUCH...

and. OH GOD. WHAT A QUESTION.

I've stuck the rest of this post under the cut because if you've been following me for any amount of time you know how wordy I can get 😔

==========

So. you have multiple options because Transformers has a truly ridiculous amount of TV series and some really REALLY good comics.

Transformers Skybound (Comics)

I can only really vouch for the ones I've watched/read, but here are my general suggestions for where to look next! There's also a tl;dr at the end in case you looked at this and just went "oh god"

Additional note: mmmmost of these series have their own idea of what pre-war Cybertron (and subsequently, Megatron and Optimus' origins) looked like, so if you're expecting a continuation of the story from TF One uhhhhh apologies u_u

First off: the current ongoing comic series!

If you want more action, more violence, and also so much more sadness, definitely go for this one. It's gutpunch after gutpunch after gutpunch. Since it IS ongoing however, only time will tell what how the storyline/s will turn out ^^" I think it's pretty good so far though!

However, if you're also intending to eventually look for fanmade content, this series has less of a dedicated fanbase, especially when compared to...

It's easy to get into, but it's also relatively short (especially in comparison to the other suggestions) since it's up to... Issue 13 at the moment? That's still a decent chunk to sink your teeth into!

Transformers (2005) // IDW1 (Comics)

The IDW comic run of Transformers :]!! It's REALLY REALLY GOOD. It ran from 2005-2018, so it's also really, really long.

It can be a bit confusing in terms of order, but luckily there are several reading guides - ONE MORE which I would have loved to have known about when I started reading LMAO IDW1 tends to jump from story to story, which can get a bit confusing, but also it does so in such a way that ties plots together in really fun ways.

Some people will tell you that you can start off with the More Than Meets The Eye (MTMTE) series which is... probably true! It's a fan favorite series, and rightfully so. Also, I think the characterisation of Megatron in MTMTE is really interesting!

I tried starting at MTMTE and just went "HEY. This is set after the war though! I want to know about the war and all that stuff!" and so I ended up reading literally Everything else that comes before it. Which is a lot. I smashed through most of the 420+ total issues in under 2 months because I'm insatiable though.

Transformers Prime // TFP (Animated Series)

Another recommendation I saw for testing the waters (taken directly from a reddit post I saw while locating the guides) is to try reading Last Stand of the Wreckers and the sequel, Sins of the Wreckers, or Megatron Origins and Spotlight: Megatron to kind of get a feel for the sort of thing you're getting into.

My personal suggestion would be to follow this reading guide if you decide to read the comics! Mostly because the person who made it included notes, and as evidenced, I love notes. Theirs are thankfully much shorter than mine.

Another fan favorite! It's an animated series that takes things in a more gritty direction, but I think it does it really well! Maybe. I haven't... actually watched it, which is funny because it's technically what got me to finally check out Transformers.

You might have seen me reblogging a certain Pointy Black, Purple and Faceless guy sometimes. He's from this series.

Transformers Animated // TFA (Animated Series)

And lastly...

TFA is a standalone series (as in it has minimal ties to the lore/continuity of other series) which is the main reason why I'm recommending it. The secondary reasons are because it's really fun and it's the series I grew up watching lol. I'm biased!! I like it a lot!! I would probably suggest one of the other options on this list to start off with, but I really like TFA... ;u;

.......... Fanfiction.

This, in my opinion, is The Best Way to get familiarised with characters.* ...I'm serious about that, and only slightly less serious about this being a suggestion of where to look next lol.

*Well, this plus TFWiki, which is genuinely the coolest wiki of all time. There are jokes and silly jabs while still being incredibly informative!! I love it!!!!

Other options that I can't personally vouch for, but have heard good things about:

Anyway, this is ACTUALLY how I got into Transformers. I kept reading TF fanfic and furiously googling characters appearances because I like giant robots, then I fell in love with Soundwave from TFP, and then I caved and read IDW1 as my proper introduction to Transformers lol. I think it's fun to do it that way, but I know it's not for everyone lol.

Earthspark is one of the newer animated series, and apparently it's pretty good! The second season less so (...?), but it seems to have been a pretty good jumping on point for a lot of people.

TL;DR: suggestions, in no particular order:

Cyberverse is another animated series, and it's pretty cute! I watched the first season and some of the second. Apparently it gets better in the later seasons- more plot heavy and interesting ^^!

If you're so inclined there's also always the Original G1 cartoon, which is fun! If you like cartoons from the 80s, just jump in idk. I've watched some, I think it's neat.

There is also the Transformers (2019) or IDW2 comics which was a reboot done by the the same publishers who did the 2005 series (thus IDW1/2) with a different and much more... streamlined story to follow. I haven't read that yet, but I've heard it's good! It got cut short because they lost the licensing though :(

==========

Comics:

Transformers (Skybound)

Transformers (IDW 2005)

Transformers (IDW 2019)

Animated Series:

Transformers Prime

Transformers Animated

Transformers Earthspark

Transformers Cyberverse

Misc.:

Fanfiction...? (I'm making a fic reclist anyway so I thought I might as well include this as an option lol)

Good luck! Enjoy! Tell me what you decide on, if you so desire!!!

Would you believe me if I said this is me specifically holding back from talking about each series? Because this is me holding back from going wild and talking abt each series.

I was going to make a flowchart, but then decided that would take too long. And then I wrote this out and took too long.

[biribaa]

you should totally make a timeline in Google docs or something of Olivia: from X being developed-to-destroyed to Olivia working at the company/corp to taking helm of X's formerly designated body and becoming O7 to O7 protecting us to— you get the point

sincerely O7's Número #1 Fan 💅

Olivia timeline! Yooho

Spoiler this thing is big asf

Dear Anon(AKA O7's number one fan).

You don't understand the smile I'm wearing right now, maybe I'm even shaking from how happy I am. I've been dreaming for MONTHS for someone to ask a question like this about Olivia/O7, there were points that I just gave up on and thought about making an alternative account to make a request anon asking about Olivia/O7 lore just so I could talk about it because I know nobody would do it. But the you, you came. I'm horrible at compliments and most of the time I make people uncomfortable with them but thank you very much I hope no one wastes the hot water in the shower for you, I hope your pillow is cold, i hope your favorite candy is on sale or your favorite game. I just- urgh. I love you thank you thank you so much I love talking about Olivia/O7

I NEVER USED GOOGLE DOCS BEFORE SO IM USING TUMBLR FOR THIS!!!

TW/CW: Ableism, murder mentions

First years (10-13 years)

On March 7, 1992, Olivia Ludwig Campbell was born. She had a mother, Britney, a father who died when she was a baby, Joseph, and a older brother, Taylor.

There's not much to talk about when Olivia was very young... She was known in her class, but she didn't have many friends, it was very rare for her to actually have any friends. She just couldn't find interest in the things that kids her age did.

That's when she watched a certain movie about space travel containing an AI, causing her to have a sudden interest, she didn't have a clear explanation, she's seen several movies and books of almost all genres, and they all had humans, and when they didn't, it was just a type of humanoid. So the concept of a non-human being that has almost no human characteristics other than a voice... It interested Olivia.

Olivia began to devour any kind of fiction containing a AI, or at least a robot, which would be the closest. For the time being her favorites were 2001: A Space Odyssey, Doctor Who and I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream. Many said it had some content she couldn't read because of being too graphic, but if the boys in her class could bully anyone they see, why can't she enjoy a nice tale?

But apparently only she can appreciate such literature. Confidently, Olivia tried to present the book to the class, the only thing she didn't expect was for the children to not understand everything, some even laughing. Olivia had never felt so left out before. She even tried to talk to her mom about it.

"That's too bad sweetie, but why would you bring this up to them? Why don't you try girl stuff? You still have your dolls."

Maybe mom is not an good option.

Programming and the "True Olivia" (13-15 years)

After being heavily influenced by Harlan Ellison's bestselling book, Olivia wanted to see how the human mind works, she wanted to learn why such a human is like that or why that human is like that, starting to learn with simple syndromes, and then psychological tests done in real life.

Not to mention that Olivia also started to learn programming, the feeling of having an AI ready to have a conversation with her after school keeps her foot tapping excisively. She read book after book about programming like there was no tomorrow.

Olivia was fascinated by how an AI looks so much like an ordinary human being learning to speak, Olivia had never felt so excited when she was testing this AI's programming with simple yes or no questions... Something about this AI made her smile forever.

Olivia named the AI ​​"X", it was mysterious, it was fun to say, it was cool. She liked, so it did.

A few years later, having already evolved the programming of this AI deeply while her brother is making her mother pround by trying to study medicine, Olivia tried to learn about the "mental illnesses" of the human being, until she founds out what is the autism spectrum. She researched more and more, to the point where she suspected that she might have it, maybe just a low grade, but maybe she had. Unfortunately, her own research wasn't enough, she needs a diagnosis from a professional.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"So...[She clears her throat] I did some research on human psychology, and I discovered something called autism, it's a phenomenon when a certain human is born with a different brain than other humans, having their own ways of thinking and to see the world."

"Hm."

"...How can I say this... I've studied the symptoms of it, and I can relate to a lot of these symptoms, being sensitive to loud noises, stimulation, sensory issues-"

"What? No no no no no no, Olivia you don't know what you're talking about."

"...What? Of course I know, I studied it! I just want a psychiatrist to confirm-"

"Olivia! I don't want to deal with an autistic kid, you worrying about these things while your brother is worrying about his medical career, grow up!"

Olivia decided to not open up to her own mother.

X (15-18 years)

Unable to socialize or find comfort with her own mother, Olivia tried to form a friendship with her brother, Taylor. At first they weren't that connected, but Olivia tried to have a bigger connection with him.

Olivia felt that everything was going well, she talked to Taylor about her current interests, he didn't react much, but he still listened to her.

At 16, Olivia got an appointment with a psychiatrist, and after 3 months, she finally got a diagnosis of her autism, confirming her neurodivergence. Britney's reaction was obvious to Olivia, pretending to be supportive.

And a few months later, there was that day

"-And I'm glad you accept me, Taylor. So if you can be special being a doctor then i can be special too-"

"You're not special."

"Wh-"

"It's just something you tell yourself because you're weird. Because you were born wrong."

Maybe X could be the only person Olivia can feel safe with.

Months later, Olivia also started practicing theater! Something she liked, but after 2 years she stopped, satisfied with this talent.

Rock (18-20 years)

Olivia was once in a band you know, when she still had little drops of hope, she played the drums!

Olivia had a lot of fun with that, it was almost a way to stim for her!

The others in the band were also nice to Olivia, that was her view for now at that point. But theen.. Oops

Haha! Olivia tries to express herself one more time and ends up regretting it!

"You can't play like that!"

"What? Why not? It's the way I like to play, I think it will make it more natural and–"

"No- just, just don't, Olivia"

"Why?"

"I don't want to ruin my career. Not after years of working on it!"

Yours?!

"What do you mean yours? We are all working hard on it too—"

Uh oh. Then, Olivia end up with a nose bleeding.

"Piece of shit–"

"Your nose is bleeding"

"Uh? Oh I forgot I got you a camera. Hi X"

"You are damaged."

"Yeah."

"Who's to blame?"

"Oh no no, it's not–... It's not tgat important, buddy."

"But, you're important. To me, at least."

"...It was... It was a human."

"Again?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, let's start again, who's to blame?"

"James."

Over time, Olivia began to spend more time in her own room, talking to X. When she wasn't talking to X, she was reading a book, eating, or sleeping or having a bath.

Shit happens (20-30 years)

Blah blah blah Olivia starts to have a romantic relationship with X having it as her only will of being alive and she starts a project of building a robotic body for it, you got it, right?

But did I ever told u that Antony actually had a apparition in Olivia's life? y'know like the man that O7 made blind? Yep

Antony and Olivia have been rivals since high school, to the point that both get into physical fights. And they still are, because the two were neighbors.

One day, X accidentally connects to Antony's home cameras, and it was there that he witnessed Antony's murder of his ex-girlfriend, Madeline, where Antony gouges out her eyes and stabs her with a knife.

X, in a panic, tells Olivia everything, and she sees it as a chance for revenge. That was her big mistake.

The next day, Olivia invites Antony to her house, telling him to leave their teenage violence behind, only for Antony to be tricked. Olivia says that she and X know everything, and if Antony doesn't deliver certain parts for X's robotic body to her, X will expose everything.

Y'know X and Olivia were almost a sadistic couple everyday when i hear that one song with "David!" "What?" "Where are you at?" "Well let me roll up in the sidewalk and take a look, yes?" I always rember of them

Antony listened

Only for the next day, he misses work and breaks into Olivia's house and destroys X with an axe, leaving Olivia's heart also destroyed.

Antony left almost no evidence in the lawsuit, Olivia couldn't even sue him for breaking and entering her house!

Olivia's depression returns, along with her drinking.

But, if Olivia won't do all this for X, what's to stop her from doing all this for hatred and disgust for humans?

That's when Olivia started putting together a plan for months, getting a job at a game company and studying a way she could transfer her mind into a mechanical body.

And that's where we come to the Olivia you guys know!

Olivia works as a guide for beta testers on a game with the stupid idea of ​​being a parkour "video game" set in real life, unfortunately they accepted this idea from Cyrus.

She guides Tester 009, who is offered a glove that can help them through their challenges.

Tester 009 had a 6-day test, only for Olivia to manipulate them on the last day and accidentally help her connect her mind to the robotic body originally made for X. Finally having the O7 we know

O7 hates humans, she hates them just like she hates her for originally being one. Her life had great potential to be happy, only to be ruined by humans. O7 never asked to be like this, she never asked to have these hateful thoughts, she never asked for having violent intrusive thoughts, she never asked for all this, humans asked for this. All she wanted was to talk

Uhmm... You???

There are several possibilities for how Olivia/O7 met you and how she became convinced that you are a piece of another find in a coalfield.

Perhaps, O7 took an interest in you in the process of her massacre because you were kind to her.

Or, you were already a friend of Olivia.

Or maybe, i don't know! So many possibilities

But I'll tell you what, the process is the same, O7/Olivia will always be expecting worse from every human she meets, no matter the repupation. Let me tell you a secret, O7/Olivia is afraid of making the wrong choices 'cuz she hates dealing with her implanted idiotic human feelings, she hates them. So when O7/Olivia starts a relationship with you, her mind won't stop thinking what kind of horrible person you are, annoying? Manipulator? Ableist? Robophobic? Doesnt listen to her? But unlikely of possibilities, it's not like she'd be impressed anyway. So don't mind O7/Olivia being quieter, she's just insecure thinking about the kinds of torture she can do to you if you're a disappointment like everyone else

O7/Olivia is very delicate in the beginning of a romantic relationship, it is the first time she has gotten so close to a human in her life, and she feels that she will never be able to get so close to a human as she did with you

O7 is pretty goofy tbh, always wanting to carry you in her arms like the beautiful creature you are :)

There are times when she even brags about you to the other survivors, calling you an angel, or, the nickname she always uses, "Casanova"

[rax-writes]

More

Fandom:  MCU Pairing:  Baron Helmut Zemo x Reader Warnings:  Sexual intercourse with a female-identifying person with a vagina + a bit of sugar daddy Zemo vibes at the end Notes:  Y’all... don’t judge me. I have a power kink, and Marvel did me dirty by randomly deciding that Zemo is fifthly rich royalty. And my girl @henrysmorgan​ did me even dirtier by actively encouraging my attraction to this fucker. So, blame Marvel, and blame her. // This is kind of really fucking long, and I didn’t edit it much, because I wanted to get it posted before episode 4, in case that episode flips the script. So, potentially some editing issues, and slightly rushed writing. Hopefully it’s alright, but please let me know if I screwed up anywhere. // Lots and lots of TFAWS ep. 3 spoilers

When Bucky texted you to ask that you meet him in some dusty, old, abandoned-looking car garage, you certainly didn’t know what to expect. All you knew was that an old friend needed your help, so you intended to be there.

It had been a few months since you’d last seen him, and even longer since you’d participated in any sort of mission, but you suspected that was what you were walking into. Being exposed to the Mind Stone had granted you the power of telepathy, which meant that SHIELD was quite keen on persuading you to work for them. They trained you in martial arts and hand-to-hand combat, and you went on miscellaneous missions a handful of times. They put in a lot of effort to convince you that it was your moral obligation as an “enhanced individual” to help them with these missions, but you ultimately decided that that simply wasn’t the kind of life you wanted. Instead, after the Blip, you began working a desk job for SHIELD, which is when you crossed paths with Bucky, helping him with paperwork associated with his pardon, and the two of you formed a friendship. But SHIELD kept trying to coerce you to get back into the field, constantly badgering you about it and making it clear that you weren’t wanted if all you were doing was paperwork.

The truth is, you weren’t cut out to be a superhero, and you had no desire to be. It didn’t help that your entire country had been reduced to rubble several years prior, leaving you with a bottomless pit of homelessness in your heart. So, you left SHIELD, and started a life in Berlin, where you were content to live out your days as the owner of a small bakery, residing in the small apartment above your shop.

That is, until Bucky Barnes dragged you into a particularly sticky situation, with a certain Baron Helmut Zemo.

You knew that helping Bucky and Sam would throw a colossal wrench in the life you’d created for yourself in Berlin, but after they explained the situation with the super soldiers, coupled with Bucky’s puppy dog eyes, you found yourself refraining from storming out of the building the second you saw Helmut fucking Zemo.

“We need you to keep an eye on him. You don’t have to tap into his mind 24/7, we just want a heads up if he’s going to screw us over,” Bucky explained.

"Look, we really need him. We’re obviously scraping the bottom of the barrel here, otherwise he'd still be in that cell. And neither of us want to be packing a criminal around like a rich bitch's chihuahua, so we need you here to make sure we're not gonna get bit," Sam explained.

"Fine. But you both owe me," you relented, and they both took sighs of relief. You glanced at Zemo, locking eyes with him for several tense moments. He gave you a polite smile, giving off the impression that he had nothing to hide – which he didn't, as his thoughts showed his intentions were pure at the moment. "We're good for now. He just genuinely wants the opportunity to take down these new super soldiers."

Sam and Bucky nodded, visibly releasing tension from their shoulders as they moved to head out, now reassured that Zemo was truly on their side. Meanwhile, Zemo eyed you with curiosity and awe, murmuring, "Fascinating."

The four of you walked on the landing strip toward a private jet, owned by Zemo.

"So all this time you've been rich?"

"I was a Baron, Sam. My family was royalty before your friends destroyed my country," Zemo explained, before glancing at you with a small smile. "But you knew that already."

"Wait, how did she know that?" Sam asked, then turned to you. "How did you know that?"

"I am Sokovian myself. I was certainly not royalty, but I lived there for my entire life, until it was destroyed," you explained, stopping outside the jet as Zemo greeted the elderly butler, Oeznik, in your native language. It made you smile to yourself; it had been years since you'd heard it spoken. Zemo shot you a grin when he noticed, and when you took a peek into his mind, you saw that he understood exactly how you felt.

As the butler handed Zemo a flute of champagne after you all boarded the jet, the Baron smiled politely as Oeznik stated, “Apologies if that's a little warm. The fridge is out, but I will see if there is some good food in the galley.”

Zemo glanced as you sat across from him, then in Sokovian, Zemo told Oeznik, "Another flute for the lady, please. And if the food does not pass the smell test, give it to the gentlemen."

"It's good to have you back, sir!"

As the man retreated to the cockpit, also in Sokovian, you noted, "You are a mischievous man, even more so than in your infamously criminal ways."

"You will find that there is more to me than meets the eye, angel," he responded coolly, the Sokovian language rolling off his tongue like honey. Before you could respond, admittedly enjoying speaking Sokovian, Sam grew tired of everyone speaking a language he couldn't understand.

"Why don't you tell us about where we're going?"

After a tense exchange between Bucky and Zemo, followed by a discussion about Marvin Gaye, Zemo finally got to the point: Madripoor. You exhaled slowly, resting your forehead in your palm in exasperation.

“You couldn’t have invited me on a mission to Cancun? Or Paris? Why must it be Madripoor?” you asked Bucky, who shot you a tight-lipped, pitying smile, silently apologizing for what he was dragging you into.

“What’s up with Madripoor? You guys talk about it like it’s Skull Island.”

“It’s an island nation in the Indonesian archipelago. It was a pirate sanctuary back in the 1800s,” Bucky explained.

“And upon seeing it, you would see that times there haven’t changed one bit since then,” you added.

“It’s kept its lawless ways. But we cannot exactly walk in as ourselves. James, you will have to become someone you claim is gone,” Zemo said.

You frowned as you caught a glimpse of Bucky’s thoughts as he went silent. Fear. Anxiety. Disdain. Apprehension. You reached across to rest your hand on his shoulder and give it a reassuring squeeze. He shot you a small smile, then looked out the window.

Upon landing in Madripoor, one of Zemo’s contacts met you on the landing strip with a new wardrobe for you, Bucky, and Sam, and Zemo explained that each outfit was per his instruction, carefully chosen to fit the role each of you would be playing in Madripoor. One by one, you took the covered clothes hanger to the bathroom of the jet and changed. Bucky was first, stepping out in some sort of leather number, looking eerily similar to the Winter Soldier you’d seen in photos. Sam was next, donning a three-piece suit of burgundy and gold. He looked sharp, although he was immediately complaining about how ostentatious it was. And finally, you stepped into the room and closed the door behind you, unzipping the covering on the hanger and revealing your “carefully chosen” outfit.

“Ich werde dir im Schlaf die Eier abreißen, Zemo!”

Bucky choked on his water and Zemo chuckled under his breath, while Sam looked between the two in confusion.

“I don’t know what she said, but she sounded pissed,” he observed, eyeing Zemo suspiciously.

“She informed me that she intends to remove my testicles in my sleep.”

“And why is that?”

“Perhaps because he’s chosen to parade me around Madripoor like a cheap whore,” you said angrily, stepping out of the bathroom with your hands on your hips, glaring at Zemo.

“That dress is by Armani Prive, and your shoes are Louboutins – far from ‘cheap.’ And you do not look like a whore, the dress is merely more revealing than what you are used to,” Zemo argued, standing and walking over to survey your outfit. He seemed to be enjoying what he saw, judging from the way his eyes raked up and down your body, but you didn’t dare check his thoughts to confirm or deny it.

If you were honest with yourself, he was right. It was a very nice dress; plum purple, matching the color of Zemo’s turtleneck, with long, fitted sleeves, all of it made of the softest silk you had ever touched. It was fitted at the top but flowy from the hips down, with a low balconette-style neckline, showing more of your chest than you were accustomed to, although you pulled it off quite nicely. It ended just above your knees, which was fine, as you sometimes wore skirts of that length. Overall, the luxury of it and the low-cut neckline ensured that you were out of your comfort zone, but you looked stunning – and expensive, despite your spite-fueled initial claim.

“I thought the color would look nice on you, and I was right. And I knew that the flow of the fabric at the bottom would allow for this,” Zemo said, his hand gingerly trailing from your waist to your thigh, where he pulled up the hem of your dress slightly to reveal the edge of the Glock strapped into your thigh holster. He smirked as his suspicion was confirmed. He knew you’d find a way to arm yourself, regardless of what you wore.

In hindsight, the way Zemo touched your side and lifted your skirt was all far more intimate than you should have allowed, and yet… you couldn’t deny the way your breath caught in your throat when he touched you, or how his close proximity made your body temperature rise, as he gazed down at you with those intense brown eyes.

Christ, you needed to get laid. Soon. Before you further entertained the idea of jumping the bones of a highly wanted criminal.

“Touch me like that again, and I will kill you where you stand,” you informed him sternly, and Zemo immediately took a step backwards, looking apologetic. From the corner of your eye, you saw both Sam and Bucky visibly relax, tension leaving their shoulders. You had read their thoughts briefly, and they were both wondering why the hell you were so calm about getting cozy with Zemo. The absolute last thing you wanted was for them to know that you were, in fact, inexplicably drawn to being that close to the Baron.

As the four of you walked along a bridge in Madripoor, Sam was quick to resume his complaining.

“We have to do something about this. I’m the only one who looks like a pimp.”

“Only an American would assume a fashion-forward Black man looks like a pimp. You look exactly like the man you’re supposed to be playing. The sophisticated, charming African rake named Conrad Mack, aka the Smiling Tiger.”

“He even has a bad nickname,” Sam grumbled, then looked at the phone Zemo handed him. “Hell, he does look like me, though.”

“And who am I supposed to be?” you inquired, glancing down at your clothing to see if you could guess who you were meant to be portraying. An heiress or socialite, perhaps.

“My fiancée,” Zemo answered simply, the faintest smile on his lips.

You barked out a crude laugh, “Oh, I think not.”

“There is no one involved with Madripoor who looks like you. And it is rare that there are newcomers to the island, especially not in the place we’re going. Pretending you are someone random would raise concerns about the intentions of your presence; you would be perceived as a potential threat, which would jeopardize our mission. It is far easier to simply pretend we are engaged, I assure you.”

You hesitated a moment, before arguing, “No one will believe that we are engaged.”

Zemo pulled something from the inside pocket of his jacket, took your left hand, and slipped it onto your ring finger. It was a solitaire diamond ring; not large enough to be gaudy, but enough to catch anyone’s eye.

“They will if you play your part well,” he told you, then addressed the rest of your party when he added, “No matter what happens, we have to stay in character. Our lives depend on it. There is no margin for error.”

The four of you reached a sleek black car, and climbed in, you in the back between Sam and Bucky. The ride to Low Town was tense and silent, as each of you mentally prepared for what lay ahead. When you arrived, Zemo offered you his hand as you exited the car, and the pointed look in his eyes told you that it was time to begin playing your part. You took his hand, and as you began walking into the heart of Low Town, he laced his fingers with yours. As the crowd drew near, Zemo wrapped his arm around your shoulders, gloved fingers brushing against the exposed skin of your shoulder. After reading his mind, you realized that it was both for the sake of protecting you, and showing possessiveness to make it believable that you were his girl – and because he simply enjoyed having your body close, although you suspected that he’d rather you have not known that.

Despite the fact that you had been on a few missions for SHIELD, you were not exactly incapable of fear; you did not possess nerves of steel. All of the missions you’d been on were low-profile, and you were mostly just there for the sake of gathering information from those reluctant to share it. Sure, you’d been in danger before, you’d had to fight your way out of several sticky situations, but this… this was different. You were in the crime capital of the world, a lawless place filled to the brim with crooks, thieves, and murderers. More than likely, any given person around could slit your throat and never bat an eye or give you a second thought. Swallowing your own pride in the face of fear prompted you to return Zemo’s gesture, wrapping your arm around his waist and sticking close to him, which earned a smile from the man.

When you arrived at your destination, Zemo approached the bar and leaned against it confidently on one arm, the other still wrapped firmly around your shoulders.

“Hello, gentleman,” the bartender greeted, before his eyes fell on you. “Who’s your new lady friend, Baron?”

“My fiancée,” Zemo answered, then turned to you and ran his finger along your jawline, as you looked at him in adoration. “Isn’t she lovely?”

“Very,” the bartender acknowledged, then turned to Sam. “Wasn’t expecting you, Smiling Tiger.”

“His plans changed. We have business to do with Selby,” Zemo responded.

The bartender made ‘Smiling Tiger’ his usual drink, which apparently consisted of… something he cut out of a snake, and dropped in a shot glass with a bit of liquor. You shared a look with Bucky before he turned away to survey the room, and when you read his thoughts, you found that you both desperately wanted to laugh out loud at Sam’s ‘short end of the stick’ situation, but didn’t want to risk everyone’s lives for the sake of a chuckle. You returned your attention to Zemo, opting to sell the whole “fiancée” thing a bit more by turning into him and tracing patterns on his chest as you gazed at him affectionately, while the bartender handed you and Zemo each a shot glass of your own – sans snake organs, thankfully. You both downed yours, while Sam understandably struggled a bit more with his, but still managed it.

A random man approached Zemo then, and as Zemo turned to face him, he protectively moved you behind him a bit.

“I got word from on high. You ain’t welcome here.”

“I have no business with the Power Broker, but if he insists, he can either come and talk to me…” Zemo countered, gesturing toward Bucky, who looked menacing as he pretended to be the Winter Soldier. “Or bring Selby for a chat.”

After a weary look in Bucky’s direction, the man walked away, and Zemo turned back around to face the bar, this time keeping you in between him in the bar, in case someone were to come up behind him – which they did a few moments later.

“Winter Soldier… attack,” Zemo commanded in Russian, as a different man came up and laid a hand on Zemo’s shoulder. With a pained look in his eye that quickly shifted to cold determination, Bucky grabbed the man’s hand with his vibranium arm, twisting it as he removed it from Zemo’s shoulder. Zemo took a step away from the bar to allow you room to turn and observe as Bucky beat the absolute shit out of various challengers. Zemo wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you close to him as he noted, “Didn’t take much for him to fall back into form.”

The unmistakable sound of numerous guns cocking drew your attention away from the altercation, and Zemo gently pushed you behind him as he surveyed the room to note all the weapons drawn. Sam grabbed Bucky’s bionic arm to stop him, but Zemo whispered, “Stay in character or the whole bar turns on us.”

“Well done, soldier,” Zemo then said to Bucky in Russian, signaling for the ‘Winter Soldier’ to stop.

“Selby will see you now,” the bartender interjected, and Bucky released his grip on the random man’s throat.

“Thank you,” Zemo responded, walking off to find Selby, grabbing your hand to guide you, but not before you spared a sorrowful glance at Bucky as your friends followed closely behind.

As Zemo took a seat on a couch across from Selby, you sat close to him, crossing your legs gracefully as you leaned into him, your arm wrapped around his as he clasped his hands in his lap authoritatively. You watched his exchange with Selby in silence, as did Sam – and Bucky, of course, considering he was pretending to be the Winter Soldier.

“By the way, I thought you were rotting away in a German prison,” Selby told Zemo, then smiled as she looked you up and down, before her eyes found the diamond ring. “And not engaged – to a woman far out of your league, I might add.”

“People like us always find a way, don’t we?” Zemo answered calmly, then looked over at you, staring into your eyes with warmth and adoration, and you smiled lovingly at him. “My beautiful fiancée was a guard at the prison. We fell in love over the years, and she helped me escape. Anyway, I’m sure you have already figured out what I’m here for.”

The conversation went relatively smoothly after that, until Sam’s goddamn phone rang and screwed the entire operation. In the blink of an eye, Selby was shot dead, you had shot two of the guards with the gun strapped to your thigh, and Sam and Bucky had each knocked out one, before Zemo suggested sneaking out of the bar as best you could, without any weapons. You secured your gun back in its holster, not missing the way Zemo watched as you hiked your dress up to do so, before making a break for it with the three of them.

Once you were on the streets of Madripoor, bounty hunters began to come out of the woodwork, and when they began shooting at you, Zemo abruptly grabbed your hand and ran down a nearby alleyway. As you were running, the heel of your stiletto caught on a grate, and you’d have fallen flat on your face if Zemo hadn’t caught you.

“Are you alright?” he asked hurriedly, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist as he supported you, before standing you back onto your feet. You nodded, and he glanced over your shoulder as he noticed a few men looking down the alley. “Forgive me.”

You were about to ask what he was talking about, but then Zemo abruptly grabbed you by the backs of your thighs and lifted you up, pinned you against the wall behind you, and kissed you.

The men at the end of the alleyway muttered something about “freaks who do it in public,” then their footsteps faded as they walked off, clearly thinking the two of you were some overly horny couple, not two of the people with an insane bounty on their heads. But you were barely paying them any attention, a bit preoccupied with the fact that Zemo was fucking kissing you, and much to your chagrin, you really fucking liked it.

Once there were no more voices and no more footsteps, Zemo broke the kiss and sat you down. The two of you stared at each other for a moment, before you heard more gunshots, and you broke into a run in the direction Bucky and Sam had gone, desperate to find your friends, and no time to process what the hell just happened.

As soon as you caught up with them, the two bounty hunters nearby were shot dead, and the four of you turned to see Sharon Carter emerging from the shadows.

An hour later, you found yourself in her swanky home in High Town, in a change of clothes, since the brick wall Zemo had held you up against ripped the back of your silk dress. You lied to Sam and Bucky, saying that it happened because you fell while running in your heels, and thankfully, they believed you. Sharon commanded the four of you to lay low and enjoy the party, which Sam and Bucky left her living room to go do, entrusting you with ‘Zemo watch.’

It seemed as though he was merely nursing his brandy in lieu of abandoning it for the party prior to finishing it off, but his eyes were on you most of the time. You didn't necessarily believe he could be plotting to overpower you and run off, but there is always that possibility, so you delved into his mind to check.

Expecting to find thoughts of strategy about how to defeat the super soldiers or travel plans, or even plots to escape you, Bucky, and Sam, you were astounded to find nothing but thoughts of you.

The way it felt to kiss you in that alleyway, and how he had monetarily debated just staying there, having his way with you against the brick wall before Sam and Bucky could locate you. The dress from the bar, and how it rested on your thighs, revealing just enough to have his mouth watering without being revealing to the point of immodesty. The way your necklace currently rested against your bare collarbone, and how desperately he craved to litter the area with love bites. The delicate skin of your throat, thinking of how it would look with his hand wrapped around it, just enough to cut off a bit of air but not enough harm you. How alluring your voice is, and how much he'd like to know what it would sound like to hear you scream his name. The softness and warmness of your skin when he had his arm around you in the bar, and when he held your hand as you fled the scene, and he wondered how soft and warm you were elsewhere.

"Your thoughts are filthy."

He bristled immediately, sitting straighter in his seat and eyes going slightly wide, either forgetting you can read minds or not realizing you'd be doing it right then. It only took a moment for him to regain his composure, before he took one long, last drink of his brandy and set the glass on the table in front of him. He turned his whole body to the side to face you, as you sat on the opposite end of the couch, wearing a small, somewhat mischievous smile.

"I suppose there is no sense in denying it, is there?"

"What game are you playing, Zemo?" you snapped. He was rattling you. As much as you hated to admit it, he was. For the entirety of the time you'd been around him, this wanted criminal had been flustering you, and goddammit it, you wanted to know if it was accidental, or for nefarious purposes. He could be using it as a tactic to throw you off your game, so that he could get away when it was just the two of you – like right now.

"There is no game, Liebling," he stated softly and sincerely, sensing your discomfort. Slowly, he scooted closer to you on the couch, so that the arm he had laid across the back of it was now behind you, as he stared intently into your eyes. "Merely the natural response of a man who has been widowed and then locked in a prison cell, and therefore has not known the touch of a woman in many years, sitting next to a woman of absolute ethereal beauty."

You said nothing, merely stared at him, sizing him up to see if he was toying with you or telling the truth. Zemo sensed your lack of belief in his words.

"If you doubt my true intentions, you are welcome to delve as deep into my mind as you'd like to find the truth."

In all honesty, you'd have done that already if you weren't trying to avoid being even more flustered by his thoughts about you – but you couldn't tell him that. So, you did as he bade you, and searched his mind to find any shred of malevolence towards you, but you came out empty-handed. Zemo genuinely just wanted you, craved you, like a starved man sitting in front of an endless buffet. He watched you carefully as you came to this conclusion, and although you said nothing further, he knew that you had found what you needed to know.

"Just say the word, and I will never approach the topic again, as well as attempt to quiet my thoughts about you. But if there is any part of you... deep inside you," Zemo paused, eyes grazing you up and down purposefully, before continuing, "that has any interest in being with me... I will do anything to bring that to fruition."

The ball was in your court now. You could tell him to get bent and never speak to you like this again… or you could get your rocks off, and maybe even get something more in return.

"Such as?"

"Name it, Schätzchen. Anything you want. A car, a mansion, jewels – say it and it's yours, if you will be mine," Zemo proposed earnestly, licking his lips quickly as he looked at you, visibly thrilled that he was getting somewhere with you.

You weren't the type to accept gifts from men you barely know, but… this was Zemo. A man who had done a great many terrible things, which soothed your guilty conscience. So, you said the first thing that came to mind.

"A car," you blurted out, then explained, "Mine broke down a week ago, and it's beyond repair, so… a car."

"Tell me the make and model of your preference and I'll have it delivered to your home within a week's time," Zemo said calmly, then brushed a lock of hair away from your face, before allowing his fingers to trail delicately along your cheek and jawline. "Is that all, Kätzchen?"

"No. One more thing," you replied, then looked at him sternly. "You must agree to never speak of this to Bucky or Sam."

"You have my word," he assured you, smiling in amusement.

"Then I'm yours."

Zemo's smile faded slowly, and he merely stared at you for a split second, before cupping your face in his hands and pulled you into a searing kiss, full of ferocity and sheer desperation. It shouldn't have been this easy, to kiss a man who's done such terrible things – yet here you were, melting into his embrace, allowing him to pull you into his lap and straddle him, your hands resting on his shoulders and gripping the black fabric of his turtleneck. His hands laid flat against your back as he kissed you in this new position, slowly gliding down, down your sides and to your hips. He kissed you in a way that was feverish and fast and hungry, as his fingers dug into your skin, holding you firmly against him as if he were fearful that this was all a dream and you'd disappear at any moment. Upon taking a peek into his mind, you realized that was actually exactly what he was thinking. Additionally, he mentally spoke to you directly, somehow knowing you were reading his thoughts at that moment.

"Tell me if I do anything that you do not like, and know that you have absolute freedom to end this at any given moment."

You pulled away slightly to nod in confirmation that you received his message, before resuming the kiss. Mind hazy and instincts taking over, you found yourself tugging his bottom lip between your teeth, earning a low groan from Zemo. One of his hands darted upwards to grab a fistful of your hair, right against your scalp at the base of your neck, and he pulled on it harshly, causing you to let out a wonton moan. He then laid that hand flat against the back of your neck, holding your lips firmly against his as he kissed you with even more fervor, and the other vacated its position on your hip to slide slowly up your torso, until he began palming your beast through your shirt. You moaned softly against his lips, but not as loudly as a moment ago.

Zemo wanted more, needed more; he longed to hear you loud and desperate. So he delved that hand at your neck back into your hair, gripping it tightly once more, and used it to pull your head backwards a bit, so that he could have better access to your neck. The action itself, and the tightness of his grip, earned an embarrassingly loud moan to escape your lips, and you felt him smile against your skin. He moved his hand to the middle of your back, supporting you as you leaned back a bit to grant him better access. As he littered your neck and décolletage with kisses, you felt him pull the neckline of your blouse down a little, then felt the sharp pain of a bite on your chest, above your breast. When you looked at him with narrowed eyes, he wore a cocky little grin.

"You should not be surprised, Liebling. I know you saw that I've been wanting to do that all day when you read my mind," he noted. "Wear a high neckline tomorrow, it will be fine."

Before you could respond, Zemo pulled you flush against his chest with that hand behind your back, and into another heated kiss. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, and without thinking, you ground your hips down on the bulge resting against your core beneath your skirt. He groaned, both hands flying to your hips to push them down again, guiding them as you repeated the action. It only took a minute or two of this before Zemo had enough, abruptly grabbing you by the throat and throwing you down onto the couch beside him. He then loomed over you, one hand propping himself up and the other applying slight pressure to your throat, gazing at you with admiration in those searing eyes, pupils blown wide from lust. You looked right back at him, pupils undoubtedly dilated as well, eyes half-lidded, panting a little, and hair a bit of a mess.

"You are an absolute vision," Zemo praised softly, to which you smiled, then he released his grip on your neck to lean down and kiss you again. That only lasted a moment, before he broke the kiss to pull your blouse up and over your head, tossing it carelessly to the side. Your bra joined it shortly after, then he moved to your skirt, fussing with the zipper for a moment, but it seemed to be caught on something, as it wouldn't budge. Before you could interject and state that you'd get the zipper yourself, Zemo ripped the seam apart with his hands, before tearing the article from your body and tossing it like he had with the blouse. A gasp escaped you, but you had no time to think much about his actions, before he was pulling off your panties and bra as well, dropping them somewhere beside the couch.

He was then looming over you again, kissing you breathless as he rested on one elbow while the other hand toyed with your nipple, his knee coming up to rest between your legs as he laid between your body and the back of the couch. You tangled your fingers in Zemo's hair, moaning against his lips as you sought friction against his leg. He smiled softly against your lips, before your hands wandered, finding the hem of his shirt and tugging it off of him. You had just managed to get his belt off before his hand left your breast, trailing downwards across your torso as he moved his knee further away from you, before delving between your hips and expertly locating your clit.

No longer capable of focusing on ridding Zemo of his clothes, your hands gripped his shoulders, and he hissed deliciously as your nails dug into his skin when he began rubbing small, methodical circles on your clit. Small moans fell from your lips as he watched the way your mouth hung open slightly, face relaxed and eyes closed as you enjoyed his work. But again, he wanted more, needed more. Still observing you, he delved his middle and ring fingers into your core, causing you to let out a loud gasp that faded into a long, low moan. Zemo smiled to himself. That was the reaction he was dying for.

He kissed you senseless, drinking in your moans and gasps of pleasure like wine, his free hand cradling the back of your head as your arms wrapped around his neck. It didn't take Zemo long to find that sweet spot, deep inside you – as he'd subtly alluded to earlier – that longed for his attention the most.

You couldn't help but moan loudly and cry out, "Fuck! Baron!" Zemo growled low in your ear, clearly a fan of your usage of his title as he picked up the pace, fucking you with his fingers with expert precision and speed, sending you hurtling over the edge with a string of curses in both Sokovian and English. By the time he removed his fingers from you and stood, you were seeing stars, breathing heavily as you laid flat against the couch. When your dazed gaze found him, he was naked from the waist down, and was just finishing rolling a condom over his length. You had no idea where he got it from, but you were way beyond giving a shit at this point. Zemo then rejoined you on the couch, roughly spreading your legs apart as he kneeled between them, looking at you with a primal, deep hunger in his eyes.

"You are certain that you want this?"

"Yes, please – fuck," you cut yourself off as he began rubbing your clit again.

"Yes please, what?" His voice was low, teasing, as he continued his work below. "I want to hear you say it again, Kätzchen."

"Yes, please, Baron."

"Good girl."

Zemo took your leg and rested your calf on his shoulder, before easing himself into you, agonizingly slow. You watched through half-lidded eyes as his brows furrowed together, his jaw went slack, and his eyes squeezed shut as he bottomed out. He was silent, but you very much preferred it when he was a bit vocal. So, you flexed your muscles down there, and he groaned, letting his forehead fall against your shoulder.

"Do not do that if you want this to last long," Zemo suggested through clenched teeth. You smiled to yourself, then said the magic word that you knew would get him going.

"Yes, Baron."

He growled again, right in your ear, then sat more upright to begin a harsh, quick pace of thrusting. His hips collided with your body each time, causing a delicious sort of pain, and he leaned down to lock you in a messy, deep kiss.

A few minutes later, Zemo moved your other calf to his shoulder as well, and the new position enabled him to get delectably deep inside you. You raked your nails down his chest, watching as a shudder ran down his spine, all the while releasing small, breathless moans and whimpers. When he opened his eyes again to gaze down at you, he licked his lips before delving both hands under your head and into your hair, and forcefully gripped two fitfuls of it at the base of your skull. The moan that tore its way from your throat was animalistic, as your nails dug into his forearms as you desperately gripped them from their positions on either side of your head. Just then, he hit a spot deep inside of you, and that familiar, tight coil in your lower belly began to form.

"Fuck! Right there, Baron, please, right there!"

"As you wish, Schätzchen."

Zemo began to thrust even faster, careful to maintain the same angle as he released his grip on your hair and leaned up a bit, so that he could resume rubbing your clit. Moans began to fall from your lips practically endlessly, and somehow, you still needed more. More, more, more. You took his free hand and laid it on your neck, and he instinctively wrapped his fingers around your throat, careful to apply pressure on the sides but not the front, as to avoid harming you. When he opened his eyes once again and looked down at you, he couldn't stop the moan that escaped him.

"You will be the death of me, mein Engel," Zemo whispered, seemingly more to himself. All you could do was moan in response.

"Baron, I'm going to – fuck – I'm —"

"Yes, come for me, Kätzchen. I want to feel you."

That was all the encouragement it took. Well, that plus how perfectly he was rubbing your bundle of nerves, and how his pace nor angle had faltered once since you had requested exactly that. You came undone again, legs shaking as your nails clawed at his shoulder blades, earning a series of groans from him. As you came down from your high, Zemo's hips began to falter, enthralled by the waterfall you had become, soaking the base of his cock as your walls squeezed around him. His hand at your wet heat abruptly moved to grip your hip, at the same moment his hand around your throat clutched at your hair again, and he met his end with a loud, gruff moan as he spoke a mantra of nonsensical praises and your name.

Zemo rested on his arms on either side of your head, and he let your legs fall to the sides of him, breathing hard against your neck as he occasionally peppered kisses there. He remained inside you for a few moments, savoring the feeling, before you chose to have a bit of extra fun by flexing your lower muscles and squeezing yourself around him again. With a sharp intake of breath, he pulled out of you, shooting you a glare.

In Sokovian, he murmured, "You are a naughty little thing."

"You adore it."

"That I do," Zemo conceded, then stood and walked off to the restroom. You heard the tap run, and a few moments later, he returned with a glass of water for you, sitting beside your feet on the couch and resting his heels on the coffee table. He was exceptionally handsome like this; still catching his breath, sweat glistening on his forehead and chest, a content look upon his face. You spent a minute or two admiring him, before he looked over to you, and a smile blossomed on his lips.

"I cannot thank you enough for that. I must admit, I spent countless nights alone in my cell, dreaming about getting to touch a woman like that again. Especially considering the fall of our country, I never could have imagined I would be lucky enough to lay with a stunning, intelligent Sokovian woman."

"In the spirit of confessions, it's been a while for me, too. My last boyfriend was about two years ago. And I'm not the one-night-stand type. So, do with that what you will," you stated, earning a small chuckle from Zemo. You sat up so that you were sitting beside him, instead of laying down, as you continued. "I fantasized about it a lot myself, but I never even dared to think my next time would be as good as this was."

Zemo smiled, a mix of pride and joy, then his smile softened as he leaned toward you, brushing a lock of hair away from your face. "This doesn't have to be our last time, you know. I would be honored to have you as often as you'd allow me to. And I assure you, I would make it worth your while. I will give you whichever vehicles your heart desires, more jewelry than you know what to do with, take you to the most beautiful places in the world, dine at only the finest restaurants – and above all, treat you like my queen. Take care of me, and I will take care of you, Liebling."

You allowed your curiosity to get the better of you, as usual when you feared that someone was lying to you. You searched his mind for any fraction of false pretenses, but there were none. The man simply found you intoxicating, and would do whatever it takes to keep drinking you in.

The arrangement wouldn't exactly be an easy one, nor would it be all that wise – nor morally correct, in all honesty. But he was undeniably sexy, and the danger and reprehensibility of it all made it that much more alluring. And besides all that – the way his power and wealth turned you on, how good he was capable of making you feel – most Sokovians were dead, and you missed home. Getting to speak your native tongue with him, chat about your country – it made you feel at home with him.

But you wouldn't give Zemo the satisfaction of agreeing to him that quickly.

“We'll see.”

—————

Part Two

[a-court-of-messy-break-ups]

CONFESSIONS [incomplete]

;ft. tamlin, a court of thorns and roses

;themes. romance, gender-neutral reader, childhood friends to lovers troupe, slight angst

;timeline. tamlin when he was still a teen but he's childhood besties with lucien and reader, and everything is peaceful

;plot summary. reader confesses their feelings to tamlin

;word count. 651

;note. this may be horrible because it's been so long since ive written something outside of an essay so this is mostly a test to see if im still good, reblogs and comments are appreciated. and you might wanna listen to 'you are in love' by taylor swift while reading this.

—Tamlin wasn't the type to never get asked out, in fact out of all his siblings he was the one with the most admirers seeing as he was a lot more in touch with the people. So it wasn't new to him whenever he'd get a letter of some sort asking him out on a date, though he'd usually decline, this one was different.

He studied the contents of it over and over again, his face growing red at each word, though he was fairly popular among the people he was still very awkward and had no clue how to interact with most of them. He never understood why so many liked him, especially now that you've practically confessed your feelings. He was confused, scared but happy.

And he'd never expect you of all people to like him, he thought you'd fallen for Lucien seeing as he always caught the two of you whispering in the corner, but that wasn't the case. You liked him and as that sank in a warm flutter erupted inside his heart, as he held your letter with a smile.

—You paced around the grounds, a bouquet in hand as you waited for your friend meanwhile Lucien sat on the sides watching you with much judgment. "Will you relax? I'm sure he'll come any minute now," he says, you continued pacing as nerves came through your body at the thought of Tamlin ghosting you, you'd snuck into his room while Lucien had taken him out for a ride leaving nothing but a letter.

Pouring your feelings into that simple piece of parchment had been a lot harder than you'd anticipated. You felt like crying after what you'd done settled into you, a part of you regrets it severely but a very small, nearly nonexistent part was relived you'd finally confessed to Tamlin.

So you waited, you wrote a specific time and location as to where you two would meet if ever his feelings were the same meanwhile Lucien lazily looked at you as he continued on with how he knows Tamlin liked you even more than you did him, "Just calm down y/n, you're gonna end up ruining those flowers you got him." he sighed sitting up straight. "I'm gonna go hideout for a while, good luck with him."

Your heart pounded, "Right..." he waved a mock salute "You've got this." Lucien turned around his figure fading as he walked off the clearing into the woods, you took a deep breath as you waited for your best friend. And you stood there, silently in the place where you'd fallen in love with him.

You still remember the day it clicked. Tamlin had found you crying again, and you remembered the panic expression on his face as he tried to make you feel better.

How it was the first time you saw him so worried, his touch growing warm as he held you close, letting you sob silently and finally he'd relax when you'd start to smile again wiping your tears away with a comforting grin.

You were so scared of losing that, of losing him, thorns began to prick up the edge of your skin, as a silent shake shot through your heart. What if you already did? you shook that thought away, there's no way Tamlin would leave you like this, But what if he did? you've spent so much time trying to put your feelings into words but the thoughts ran through your mind like arrows.

What if you lost him?

What if he feels uncomfortable?

Does he really love you?

Tamlin is kind to everyone,

Tamlin cares about everyone,

Tamlin is loved by everyone,

How are you different?

Taking in a shaky breath you tried to calm down, the assumptions shooting through your mind and straight into your heart. You were in love with him, and that had scared you so much.

[evermorehaikyuu]

Hello hello💜hope you are well💜💓 i see your requests are open🙈 maybe you please write an angst(to fluff if you want) im not sure how to explain my idea 🙈 but imagine Akaashi, Suna, Kita the twins, Semi, tendous reaction(or scenario) where their best friend or teammate went to go pick up the boys s/o for them and bring them to practice but instead of walking in with their s/o, he comes rushing towards them with like cuts and bruises apologizing and crying (or calling from the hospital) because on their way to practice he accidentally caused a car accident and with their s/o in the car a she got badly injured and was sent to the hospital (Hopefully this isn't confusing 😅 you can added or remove who you want)

Hi, I hope you are good too! Thank you for this, I’ll actually take out Akaashi and Tendou and just do Suna, Kita, Semi and the twins! I hope you don’t mind!

Special Mention so she can suffer and she asked: @caxsthetic

Suna Rintarou

He had asked Atsumu to bring Y/N to his practice, but what he didn’t know was that something else would’ve happen. Then again, how could he guess? He could only presume that something awful had happened when Atsumu came racing in, his face flushed and his eyes wide in fear as he looked over at Suna.

“Suna--”

“Where’s Y/N?” He asked immediately, knowing that something was wrong. Then he noticed it. The amount of cuts and bruises on him and how he was apologizing profusely with his voice almost cracking from apology. 

“W-We got into an accident and she had to be taken away and she’s in the hospital right now, but I had to come tell you and no one has told me anything at all--”

Suna didn’t hear another word that Atsumu said as he sprinted out of the gym, his usually logical mind now going into overdrive as he started running to the hospital, albeit being about 10 miles away. The only thing keeping him going was making sure that Y/N was okay, that she was alive. 

Stepping into the hospital, he quickly asked for the whereabouts of Y/N. He could barely remember the way, his own body was racing towards the place he would find her in. Knocking on the door, he holds his breath and glares at the door as if trying to convince it to let him in.

A doctor opened the door and saw him and he said, “Let me go in, Y/N’s in there, isn’t she? Please let me go in!”

Y/N stirred on her bed, reaching for the voice at the door. “Rintarou--”

The doctor let him go inside as he went to her side, taking her hand in both of his before pressing his forehead to it. He breathed out shakily, before saying, “You scared me so much, Atsumu came in freaked out.”

“I’m okay. I’m still here.” She smiled down at him and ran her other hand through his hair. “I’ll always be here for you, I promise.” She kissed the top of his head, not wanting to tell him about the clock ticking over her life. 

~

Kita Shinsuke

The only person that could truly tear away his usually serious expression was Akagi. Akagi, who was always happy and always had a smile on his face, had currently raced into the gym with the most panic struck face he had ever seen on the libero. Disconcerting...no, that wasn’t the word. Unnerving. 

“I-It’s Y/N, we got into a car crash and she’s at the hospital right now and ohmygod, Shinsuke, I’m so sorry, this is all my fault!” Akagi wailed as he gripped his hair in his hands.

That was when he noticed the cuts and bruises on Akagi’s body and the specks of blood dotting his arms. If he was in this shape, Kita couldn’t imagine what Y/N’s situation was. He looked at Aran, who nodded, knowing that he was now in charge as Kita rushed out of the gym, trying to get to the hospital in the fastest way possible.

All that was rushing through his head were the words She’s fine, she’s okay, she’s going to be okay, please let her be okay... 

Getting to the hospital was faster than he thought it would be. However, the hospital had gotten an absurd number of patients and now there was a line to the receptionist. An hour ticked by and he was finally allowed to see her. “Where is Y/N L/N?”

“Floor five.”

Kita chose the stairs instead of taking the elevator, trying to move as fast as he could to get to her, his usually rational mind whirring into overdrive before knocking on the door. He wanted to push past it immediately but the doctors opened it, looking at him. Kita asked, “Is Y/N in there? Is she okay? Where is she?”

The doctor went to him and took a deep breath. “Sir, I’m going to need you to step out for a bit.”

Usually he wouldn’t go against this but he needed to make sure she was okay. “Please let me--”

“Y/N L/N is dead. She bled out and died at 6:39 pm.”

It was 6:43. He had been late by four minutes. There was nothing he could do or say to bring her back to life. His legs became numb as the feeling sunk in and he pressed a hand over his mouth, trying to hold back his pitiful sounds but failing, his vision blurring as he realized that he would never be able to love Y/N again. 

He’d never see her again. 

~

Semi Eita

There was nothing to prepare him for what was going to happen and how his world would turn upside down with just a few words. He had asked Tendou to go and pick Y/N up, not knowing that something grave was going to happen. The tension in the air became clear when Tendou barreled through the door.

Taking one good look at his friend covered in injuries, Semi’s heart leaped to his throat and he asked, “Where’s Y/N?”

“Semi, I’m so sorry, we got into a car crash and she’s at the hospital right now and I--”

Not Semi Semi. He was being serious right now and his eyes were dead serious about it too. Grabbing his stuff and racing out of the gym without hearing anyone, Semi raced towards the hospital, pleading that Y/N was okay in his mind and chanting it over and over again like a mantra.

He didn’t realize how fast he was going or register what he was doing until he found himself climbing the stairs up to her room, already had been told where she was by the receptionist. Once he saw her room, he was about to go and enter until someone ushered him away.

“That’s my Y/N in there, let me see her!” He almost shouted.

“I’m sorry, sir, but you cannot see her right now. We will let you know when you are able to, please have a seat.”

Semi did as he was told, his leg bouncing up and down as the minutes ticked by agonizingly slow. It felt to him like they were keeping him hanging until the door opened and he was allowed to go inside. He practically barreled through the door and saw Y/N on her bed, grinning at him as she waved him over. Sinking into the chair next to her, he grabbed her hand and pressed her forehead on it, breathing shakily.  

"I thought I lost you."

"You didn't. I'm here now. I'm still here with you like I promised I would be." Leaning over to kiss the top of his head, they both stayed like that as long as they could, content in the other’s presence.

~

Osamu Miya

There were several stories to tell about someone’s life. Maybe someone won an award, maybe they got married and had a kid, maybe they got the job they had always wanted. There was always something to say.

But what came out of Osamu’s life wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t want Y/N to get hurt in this way. He had just asked Suna to go and pick Y/N up from her place to bring her to the gym. He should’ve known something was up just from Suna’s lateness. He was most punctual, except for this time.

Soon enough, he found out what was wrong. His heart sank at the sight of Suna, no Y/N trailing after him. Specks of blood, scratches and the fearful and desperate look in his eye, all of this combined to form one thought in Osamu’s head: Y/N isn’t okay.

“Osamu, you need to get to the hospital right now, Y/N and I got into a car crash, she was unconscious, I’m so sorry--”

Osamu didn’t need to hear anything else as he grabbed his jacket and sprinted to the train station, his heart pounding in his ears, not being aware of anyone around him. Like a mantra in his head, he started pleading that Y/N was still alive. His mind had immediately jumped to the worst scenario and it was all he could do to not break down.

Getting to the hospital took thirty minutes and in Osamu’s eyes, that was way too long. He merely asked for her room and raced up the stairs, not confiding in any of the elevators to take him up there fast enough. He felt like he was going in slow motion as he finally reached the floor she was in and rushed to the room he was told she’d be in.

None of the doctors would let him in. Osamu only wanted to see her and the doctors didn’t want to let him see her in her position. After begging to go inside, he saw her.

He only spared a glance at her corpse before the reality sunk in and he collapsed on the floor, screaming into his hands, hot tears racing down his face as he yelled at himself for not getting there faster. Her smiling face, her laughter, everything about her.

Now out of his reach.

~

Atsumu Miya

Expect the unexpected, everyone said. Expect it so as to not lose your mind and slowly lose yourself. Expect the worst so that you never get surprised or upset when it happens. Atsumu thought those ideals were awful. Especially after what had happened.

He merely asked Osamu to pick Y/N up so that he could go out with her after his practice and Osamu reluctantly agreed, after he made Atsumu promise that he’d bring food back home. If it came to Y/N, he’d do anything, he just wanted to see her. He didn’t know that that idea would be put to the test soon enough.

An hour later, Osamu was nowhere in sight and Atsumu frowned. Why was he late? His question got answered when he got a call from his twin brother. Without even saying a word, Atsumu got his answer. “’Tsumu, you need to get to the hospital right now. We got into an accident, Y/N--she isn’t looking too good, you need to get here right NOW.”

With the amount of sheer despair in his tone, Atsumu knew this wasn’t a prank as he found himself dashing to the hospital. Osamu was in the lobby, looking like a dead man walking. Atsumu hurried over to him and blurted, “Where is she, what room?”

Time was melting, or so he felt as he willed the elevator to go faster, regretting it on the spot. Getting to her room, he pounded on the door, almost shrieking to let him in. Nothing. He was only allowed to pace outside, his legs becoming jelly under him.

When he was finally let in, he pushed past the doctors, albeit them warning him about something. Then he saw her on the bed.

The heart monitor was barely beeping and her chest was barely rising and she looked like she was on the verge of death. He knew she was and with tears blurring his vision, he sat next to her and grabbed her hand. Maybe it was just his imagination but it was already getting cold. Trying to get that thought out of his head. “Hey, Y/N, I’m here. I’m here, we still haven’t gone on that date yet. Come on, wake up, open your eyes. Please, Y/N, please wake up...please...”

The monitor stopped beeping and her hand went limp in his. He tried so hard not to let his emotions show, but as he pressed his forehead to her hand, it was the choked sobs and wails that could’ve broken anyone listening. It broke him.

It broke him to know he’d never see her again.

[sanctuarymade]

*            knowing your partner well can potentially make writing a lot easier. repost, do not reblog.

NAME :   cricket. PRONOUNS :   she  /  her. PREFERENCE   OF   COMMUNICATION :   100% discord. i’m awful at remembering to reply to ims on here, and i don’t have anything else. if you want to get ahold of me, discord is absolutely the way to go. NAME   OF   MUSE(S):   there are. so many, several of which aren’t on the official muse list or on this blog. right now, the loudest and most active muses are charlie and bastien. EXPERIENCE/HOW   LONG   (MONTHS   /   YEARS?) :   since late 2015/early 2016, i’m not 100% sure on the specifics. BEST   EXPERIENCE :   i mean not to be a sap on main, but meeting my best friend in the whole wide world, @analyticallyminded​. RP   PET   PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS :   constant purple prose, placing formatting over reply content, nagging about replies  ( i absolutely do not mean a nudge or a ‘hey do you still want to continue this?’ if it’s been a bit. i mean constantly asking/demanding when a reply will be out ). MUSE   PREFERENCES   FLUFF,   ANGST   OR   SMUT :   i am... an angst fiend, but i also thrive on fluff. if i’m comfortable enough with you i don’t mind veering into smut, but also like... don’t expect that on the first interaction, you feel? PLOTS   OR   MEMES :   i live for plotting, i really do. i’m trying to back off it a little bit because i think excessive plotting might be why i’m not writing as much, but i’m also down to cold turkey test an interaction in a meme. it all depends an you. LONG   OR   SHORT   REPLIES :   i try to do shorter things but i’m really bad about my replied gradually getting longer and longer until they’re behemoths. i’m very sorry about this. BEST   TIME   TO   WRITE :   occasionally in the afternoons (if i’m really hyperfixated on what we’re doing), but more often than not throughout the day on the weekends. i’m a preschool teacher as well as the primary cook in my house, so i rarely have the energy to write during the week. ARE   YOU   LIKE   YOUR   MUSE(S) :  i mean. don’t get me wrong, there are bits and pieces of me sprinkled into my muses *cough*bastien*cough*  but i really don’t think i’m particularly like any of them.

TAGGED BY :   @storyofwhoiam​ TAGGING :    anyone! if you see it and wanna do it, say i tagged you!

[alijaymtz]

Its been years since ive been here, it seems like this is the only place where i feel irrelevant and disconected from the real world. 

A lot has changed since I last wrote how I felt. 

I moved, began college, and live with my father. 

Ive said it before but there is no person I hate more than that man, he does things and then forgets the damage he caused but instead he knows how to guilt trip others. 

Im currently studying psychology, and through the study of it ive been able to categorize my father with borderline personality disorder. I doubt he’ll ever know nor will i ever tell him. 

I’ve learned to mask myself, my depression, my anger, my personality, when im home with him. Everything disapoints him. There are times that he forgets telling me to tell something to other people and then I am left in a negative place. “But you told me to tell them” ...”I never said that, IN MY LIFE IVE NEVER SAID THAT” ...

Its been two days since ive told him im styuduing to become a psychologist, today, while driving home from the gym, he asks me if I have some type of mental disorder in a joking way. I tell him “yeah, I am bipolar.” but according to several tests we’ve been reviewing in class. “yeah that makes sense” he says “I noticed since you left me when you were young”. 

When I was a child my father used to abuse my mother, hes done several crazy and traumatizing things, he broke her ribs, punched her, kicked her on the ground, for small things like burnt food or her complaining he returned home at 2 am. Back then my mother, who I think was brave, decided it was no longer safe to live with my dad because he began beating my older brother just as much as he beat my mom. 

She picked a bag, dumped in mostly my clothing and my brothers, and we headed straight to the police. Unfortunetly, they were unable to help us. So we went to the embasy, and they sent us to a shelter for women. Over the next few years I lived in shelter homes, foster homes, but safe. At one point I lived without my brother and mother but was happy, and safe. 

My mother was sent by court to return to Mexico, so we packed up and came with her. My dad staying behind “as the bread winner” or whatever. We lived in a small one bedroom with no beds or other furniture but we were happy... Untill my dad came. For a while he seemed content, unbothered, but a few months later he returned to his demonic state. 

He would not only hit my mother to the pulp, my brother, now he did it to me too. He began to fear we were becoming Mexican and began to teach us the muslim way. Through the dicipline in his feet, he’d kick us untill out noses bleed then a few minutes later kiss our cheeks and talk to us kindly about our mistakes. As a child, my mother spoke spanish, my father english. Now i was introduced Urdu, Arabic, and was expected to learn whole texts and prayers in minutes.

It was always like that, yell, hit, kissing cheeks. Sometimes he would break things in between. 

When i turned 17, my father had left for the first time in years to his homeland in Pakistan. He was gone for 3 months and during that time my brother, mother, and I sat almost every night planning how we could disapear because no matter what we did or how we did it, he’d always find us. 

My mother had gotten surgery while my dad was away, we spent a long time with her in the hospital. We had days were we wouldnt eat, sleep, or do anything other than sit. But we were happy.

One time, before he left,  He cut my mother with a knife ,In my room while I saw him stab her. I didnt want that to ever happen again. Another time, my father was mad my mom brought up him bringing a nehibor lady into the house while we were in school and she was working, but somehow he flipped it into “Jelousy” because there is no other reason why a wife would say something about it...He was so mad he beat my mother after her chemo. For weeks she couldnt move, she was in my room with the lights off and bearly eating because he wouldnt let us take her any food. But we could hear her moan in pain. Another time, he beat my brother into the street, the whole neiborhood came out to see. He dragged my brother into the stone floors and picked up a rock about my brothers head size. I swore I saw him die. I was pulled into a house by a lady and her daughters tried to calm me down as I couldnt breath. I prayed he was alive. 

A few hours passed and my father was looking for me, he knocked on every door. I sneaked out and returned home. 

So, the point to this is the following. When my dad returned from Pakistan, i closed the doors and made no sound. He couldnt come in. He would just leave after a while. He knew we were inside. I felt my breath becoming loud. He could hear. He left. 

For the next few days he would come and talk to my mom, who said “the kids don’t want you in” followed my “I brought gifts”. My mother who was still walking with a cane, felt pitty for her husband, who had been sleeping in a motel for days. So, she let him in “for a few hours”. Feeling the room shrink i sent a help messege to a cousin of mine whom told her mom. In a matter of minutes a car popped infront of the house with three aunts and one cousin, they demanded I go with them. 

Without looking at my brother, I saved myself. For two months I lived with my aunt and her 4 kids. I cleaned and she would tip me in order to help me pay for psychiatic help (she also paid it).  One day my mom showed up and told me she would do anything for me to return, i never asked how bad things were in those two months for them. I made a list asking her to go to therapy with me, for him to not look at me or say a word. I went back. He was calm a whole year, not one word was said to me. I didnt leave my room and I swear my skin went from olive to pale yellow skin for the time I spent in there. 

So today, he said “I noticed since you left me when you were young”...”Because a normal person wouldnt do that”. 

[losingmyjustice]

@nurotoxin​​​ sent;

scraTCH THAT [ everything ( minus appeal ) ] + glados

Thoughts & Feelings

Send [ word ] + a character name for my muse to talk about that character.

"Unfortunate that I ended up running into her." beat. "Or rather, that she ended up approaching me. Because, clearly, the first thing you think of when seeing a stranger sitting alone trying to get some peace and quiet is how great of a test subject they'd be. Absolutely normal."

"Also, I'm quite annoyed by how persistent she is — clearly there are more cooperative people she can irritate with her tests, yet she still sees it necessary to bother me despite how I've opposed to it since the get-go."

"Frankly, I don't get it, how she can loathe me to bits yet still be the one initiating an interaction. Sounds rather self-sabotaging, if you ask me. I'd think both of us would profit from it if we'd avoid each other."

Send [ oops ] + a character name for my muse to blurt something about that character.

"If you think about it," he spoke, while not thinking much about it, let alone how offensive it might be. "to claim she's taller than me is ridiculous."

"Her, er, vessel had been assigned by the Stars upon her arrival, right? It's not ... bound with her, so to say. Meaning, should one put her into a tinier vessel similar to the ones you find in Craft-Punk, then she'd have a new, much smaller height than she initially did, while still being the same person. Therefore, her vessel being taller could be compared to someone wearing high heels, no? It's not her, physically, being taller." he’s just salty.

"— Should she argue about this, then just put her in a 2ft tall vessel and see if she still believes it's fair to judge height per the vessel she's in. I bet she'd hate that."

Send [ think ] + a character name to know my muse’s thoughts on that character.

You squint as she took her leave. Despite having her back turned, you're rather certain she's aware of the stare piercing her, though really it'd only be all the better if she is.

All she had said is for you to wait with no further explanation. Likely bringing something, you reckon. You did scoff that you'd leave immediately just to spite her, but both of you know that it won't come to such — it's difficult to find a quiet spot as is with all these celebrations, and you genuinely don't have the energy to bother today. So here you are, grumbling; What the hell is her problem?

If you'd only go by the 'tests' she offers, you'd think of her as a joke. You still do, but — aside from amusement, what's there for her to accomplish? Granted, she does gain some info here and there about Spirale, but apart from that? If that's it, she sure picked quite the horribly inconvenient way to approach the matter. Someone who'd seek actual results wouldn't do that. What's worse; that isn't it. If it'd be just a puzzle enthusiastic scientist wanna-be would be one thing, but only a glance on her attitude and you'd argue her to be worse than the imbecile Dimitri, for obvious reasons. So why? Is she studying people and their way of thinking solely to understand them? That'd barely make sense, considering how she gives no damn about humans to be this interested. Hell, you'd not be surprised if she'd replace her test subjects with these stupid turrets if she could, considering how she reacted when you tossed it the other day. So, what is it then? You can't fathom a potential goal she might be seeking that isn't ridiculously outlandish.

... Maybe she doesn't have a goal, you think. Perhaps she truly is driven by the concept of 'doing science' alone, like she had been programmed to do — and that's all she does, despite the fact that she isn't even where the task was given to her. Gathering information just for the sake of gathering information, with no slight interest on who it aids, or who it expenses. A pointless routine, pretty much. "Despicable," you find yourself muttering, seeing her return again from a distance. You can't imagine anyone living content and happy without having an aim they're striving for in life.

You'd know.

Send [ heart ] + a character name to know my muse’s true feelings for that character.

As much as I'd love to say he's holding a front or whatever, unfortunately, beneath the disrespect is just the same thing but bass-boosted. True, he did act on prejudices at first, but his assumptions had been more than confirmed to him by now, so really he'd call it horseshit if you were to speak to him about how he's got to be open-minded and etc.

However!! While he does have more respects for a snail than for GLaDOS, it might come to a surprise to you when I say he finds her much more tolerable than Dimitri! So hey, at least she got that going for her! Even if he'd never admit that. There are several reasons that go into this — for instance, the fact that she isn't love-struck & her actions (cough, life) not entirely centered around such do make talking to her less annoying. You could claim that she's love-stuck by science, I guess, but she doesnt whine about it. GLaDOS is also far less gullible, much more observant; while it was fortunate for Clive that Dimitri wasn't alike to her in that aspect, conversing with a fool that has only one thing in mind is hardly interesting, and at some point forward even the thrill of deceiving them was gone, more alike to a ludicrously boring routine. It hurts me to insult Allen like this but, yeah — speaking to someone who's less naive is, ultimately, less tedious.

Also uh, this is sad to say but, yknow, Clive keeping up an act around Dimitri at all times was draining — smiling while wanting to strangle someone is!! not a fun thing. Neither is acting like you're a fan of a work that had your parents killed. But, with GLaDOS, he doesn't have to pretend shit. To put it bluntly, it's a relief he can be the asshole he wants to be without repressing it. And, relief makes stuff more tolerable! For him.

There's definitely the comfort of 'im having a bad day and im about to make that everyones problem' that he was unable to do all these years but, hey, you didn't hear that from me.

Regarding testing, they're not always horribly annoying to him unlike he'd claim — especially the ones you could (almost) compare to puzzles; they do catch his interest, and there's always the satisfaction you get when you got it right. However, he'll always be awfully reluctant to do the tests despite how intriguing they might be, and should he end up doing it anyway — never express that delight. Maybe a smirk might slip, but should she point that out he'd make sure in one way or another for her to take that back, or reason said smirk to be something insulting against her — yknow, the usual. Clive wants to be as inconvenient as possible as a 'test subject', and, is doing a good job at that. While yeah, the tests can low-key be temporarily nice, you won't find him miss these should she finally leave him alone. There are a lot of things he's missing, but GLaDOS and her Tests will never be on the list, really.

Send [ body ] + a character name to know my muse’s body language around that character.

So, uh. we both know he's emotionally unstable, right. Talking about his Body Language when he's acting like that is,, difficult, since it depends highly on his mood swings and I'm not about to count them all,, we'll be here forever if I do that. All I can say is that he's surely tense & sensitive whilst it.

However!! I'll ramble a bit about his usual demeanour w/ GLaDOS when things are "fine", whatever that means when talking about Clive

If he's just 'kinda there', as in low-spirited yet still well enough to talk shit (which is the 'usual' in their interactions IG) you can absolutely expect him to intentionally sit 'wrong' yet comfortably — just, y'know, to express disdain even further. Usually, it'd mean he's rather comfortable around you, but in this case, it's frankly just a lack of care of what GLaDOS thinks of him. She already knows he's got issues smh why bother giving a good impression,, Guard isn't really up either, slacking far too much to be so — just this state of "meh." where he very well can complain about the situation at hand without leaving despite it. Uhh, what else — ah and he got his hat off, likely just cast aside somewhere. shrugs

If Clive is ACTUALLY spacing out, be it to the extent where he trails off and loses his line of thoughts like all 30 seconds, or even as far to where he doesn't respond at all — if he's standing, sitting, henceforth, one thing for sure his posture would be slumped, although seeing how it's usually a thing that happens gradually, he'd stop sitting so improper (aside from the slumped posture, of course) so there's that, at least. Guard is obviously thrown out of the roof in such things. Whilst sitting there's also this habit where he'd tip with his fingers on the palm of the other hand (imagine like playing on a piano) or instead have a fist resting in it (as if you're counting for rock paper scissors) while he's spacing out— I can imagine GLaDOS would have already picked up on that to tell when he's getting lost in thought again.

Obviously, he got better days than that, where he'd care to keep up the manners you'd expect from him — but rest assured if he has the energy to act normal, he'll also have the energy to leave should GLaDOS show up. So, the next best thing is where he's irked, which. Well, that's not all too fun either, but. He'd sit upright, arms crossed, perchance even legs crossed, rather tense, you get the idea—much less cooperative too, but what else is new.

[notactivexx]

Loki x Reader

Before Thor 1

Loki x Female Reader

Request: Nope

Warnings: (very little) death at end, peaceful.

Song: Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Green Day

(set in past England)

Loki falls in love with a Midgardian princess (you)

A/N: This took me forever but Im actually proud of it. After this I only have one more fic planned, so if anyone has requests I’ll have time to do them!

 Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road

 Loki would visit Midgard much more often than any of the other gods. Things were so much simpler here, and even though he wished to be a King one day, it was nice to just be one of the people.

 Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go

 He walked past a fountain in front of the castle to see a beautiful girl, a Midgardian with (h/c) hair and (s/c) skin. She was looking at the fountain and smiling, wearing a (f/c) dress that went just below her knees. Loki approached her and she turned to face him,

"I love looking at the water. It flows so beautifully, don't you think?" The girl asked. Loki hadn't paid attention to it before, but he took a moment to observe the patterns made by the water. They were indeed fascinating.

"Yes, it is." he said. she smiled at him

"You're not from around here?"

"No, how did you know?"

"Well, in part because of your accent. But you're talking to me. Most people don't"

"They don't speak to a lady as beautiful as yourself?" the girl laughed at this.

"You're definitely not from around here. My name is (y/n)" she extended her hand, and Loki took it.

"Loki. Do you mind explaining what you mean, Lady (y/n)?"

"Well, my mother is the queen."

 "Ah, so that would make you the lovely Princess (y/n), wouldn't it?" (y/n) blushed. This was the boldest man she had met, yet still seemed to be one of the kindest. He had a certain charm to him as well. She decided she liked him, and his gorgeous smile.

"Yes, I suppose it would. Tell me, how long do you plan on staying?"

 So make the best of this test and don't ask why

 Loki never figured out how he had managed to find a girl like (y/n). Over the past two years they had become good friends, he had been in the castle many times and even met the King and Queen. So far they had remained friends, though (y/n)s parents suspected that they wouldn't be for long. The God had told (y/n) tales of the nines realms, never letting her know they were more than fiction. But he had grown to care for her, and he thought it was time to tell her the truth.

"(y/n)" they were sitting in her room, her practicing her history at her desk and he sitting on the bed. She chewed on her quill.

"Yes Loki?" she said distractedly

"You remember the stories I've told you? About Asgard and the Nine Realms?" She turned to face him.

"Of course. Why?"

"Well.." he hesitated "What if I told you they were true? That the Nine Realms truly existed?"

"What do you mean?" He sighed and looked her in the eyes.

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do." She said. He held out a hand to her.

"Come here." She walked over to him and grabbed his hand, twisting their fingers together. Her heart beat wildly as he wrapped an arm around her.

"Hold on. This is going to be a bit strange, okay?"

"Loki, what are you doing?"

"Trust me." She wrapped her free arm around him and laid her face on his chest.

"Okay"

In a flash of Green Light, everything disappeared.

 It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

 Three months later, Loki and (y/n) sat in the Gardens of Asgard. A soft breeze rippled the air, swaying the trees and flowers. They sat alone in a small clearing, hidden on all sides by a wall of bushes, accessible only by an opening on the front wall. (y/n) was laughing at something Loki had said, leaning her head onto his shoulder. Her laughter dwindled into a comfortable silence, broken by the sound of the wind and small animals skittering around the bushes. Loki sighed in contentment. They sat like this for a few minutes, before (y/n) pulled away to look at Loki. He looked at her in return. There was a small smile set over both their lips.

"You know Loki, you are truly beautiful." she whispered, letting her hand drag gently down his face. He smiled back at her.

"I believe you're the most beautiful one here." He whispered back. (Y/n) readjusted her hand to pull him closer, their eyes fluttering closed as their lips met in a sweet and gentle kiss.

Loki smiled as they parted

"Princess (y/n), would you do me the honour of courting me?"

"That sounds lovely, Prince Loki." He waved his hand in the air, and a green glow formed itself into a ring, transforming into a crown made of her favorite flowers.

"For my lovely Queen." He placed it on her head. (y/n) giggled.

"Thank you, My King." They laughed together, and then shared another gentle kiss.

 It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right

 Loki had never expected to fall in love with a Midgardian until he met (y/n). Of course, he couldn't tell his parents, they would never approve. Well, his father wouldn't. But he still loved her, and she loved him. Having her curled up in his arms every night, her soft kisses and nuzzles, her gorgeous laugh, everything about her made him know, no matter what everyone else would say, that this was completely and utterly right.

I hope you had the time of your life

 She walked down the aisle in a flowing white dress, her arm linked with her fathers. When she reached the end of the aisle, he whispered in her ear and kissed her cheek, then released her to her future husband. On the alter, Loki smiled. Never had he seen someone so beautiful. He was lost in her eyes. He was going to marry her. She was going to be his Queen, Lady Odinson. When it was his turn to say I Do, he said it confidently and happily, declaring his love for her.

They danced afterwards, to one of his favorite Midgardian songs. She was beaming, she was perfect. He wanted this moment to last forever.

 So take the photographs and still frames in your mind

 "Long Live Queen (y/n) and King Loki!"

(y/n)s parents had stepped down from the throne, leaving (y/n) as queen. It was several months after the wedding, and they were loved by the people. Loki and (y/n) would rule together, side by side, for many years. And they were happy.

  Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time

 "Oh my God,"  (y/n) let out a happy laugh, mixed with tears. "Oh my god, she's beautiful." Loki and his wife sat in their chambers, admiring their new born daughter.

"She is." Loki said. He reached for (y/n)s hand, squeezing it, never taking his eyes off the little girl.

"Mommy! Daddy!" a little boy of four years ran in, followed by a hassled looking maid "Is that my new baby! I want to see! Look, I drawed a picture!" he held up a paper of scribbles, apparently supposed to be of his sibling.

"I'm sorry your highnesses, he got out of my control." said the maid as your son ran to you.

"It's quite alright. Would you like to see her?" (y/n) replied, smiling at her eager little boy.

"Oh my, it would be an honour my lady."

"Is it a boy or a girl?" the son asked, scrunching his face at the baby.

"A girl. Her name is (name)"

"She's lovely" the maid said, looking at the king and queen. "May she grow to be as kind and beautiful as you."

"Thank you ma'am." Loki said, wrapping his arm around his son. "You may leave if you wish." The maid left the room.

(y/n) looked at Loki and kissed him, smiling.

"Ewww!!!" the little boy stuck his tongue out and Loki laughed.

"If I want to kiss your mommy, I shall kiss your mommy." He tossed him in the air, making him giggle, then kissed him on the nose upon catching him. "And I'll kiss you and her sister when I wish as well"

 Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial

 Years later, when they were both older, they sat together in the dying sun. They could see the whole kingdom from their seats on the balcony, near the top of the castle. Silently holding each other's hand, (y/n) sighed happily. She looked at Loki's face and smiled.

"Love, you haven't aged a day." she said. And it was true. He looked nearly the same as the first time she'd seen him, standing by that fountain as a young girl. She was older now, and so was he of course, but it wasn't the same. And yet, she never doubted his love for her.

Loki never doubted his love either, but watching her age was painful. His time with her seemed so short, so unfair that she would leave this world and he would linger on. Living without her would be impossible. And even now, her face visibly matured, her hair no longer as sleek and shiny, her face in the ligt of the sunset was as beautiful as ever. The most beautiful thing he'd ever see, he'd ever lose.

 For what it's worth it was worth all the while

"Love, come with me to Asgard. Stay with me there." (y/n) turned to smile at the man beside her. They had woken up only a few moments ago, everything was warm and light and beautiful.

"I can't yet love. I have to stay. Our children aren't ready yet."

"Darling…"

"In due time Loki. I will join you, once they're ready."

"Of course."

"I love you."

"I love you too"

 It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right

 Two years later, (y/n) turned to Loki.

"Take me to Asgard."

"Pardon?" he said. A smile grew upon (y/n)s now wrinkled face.

"They are ready. Take me to Asgard." he blinked and smiled.

"Certainly darling. Anything for you"

 I hope you had the time of your life

 The last few years had been difficult. (Y/n) was aging, they both knew that Loki would lose her soon. He cast spells, preserving her health and slowing her aging, but in the end, she was a mortal. Spells could only go so far.

It was a dark evening, they were staring at the stars. It had been long since they had left Midgard, and since then they'd known only peace.

"Loki," she said, looking at him.

"Yes love?" He looked back at her. Despite her age, her eyes were as bright as ever.

"I ask you only one thing. Compared to me, you are still young, though we have aged together. You will fall in love again, I accept this. But promise me, you'll never forget me."

"(y/n)…" tears filled his eyes. "I will never forget you. I will always love you, and you alone. You are my wife and my Queen. My stars and my galaxy and my universe. The most and only perfect person I've ever met. You are the meaning in my life. I don't know what I'll do without you, but I will never, ever forget you."

 It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right

  She was gone. They'd come back to Midgard months ago, to say goodbye to her children and her kingdom. It had been a long time coming, but it was still a shock.

And as Loki sat by her bed, sobbing and holding her hand, he reminded her of his promise.

"I'll never forget you, my lovely Queen. One day we will be reunited in the halls of Valhalla. We will meet again, and I'll love you no less. We'll be together again my Queen. We will be, I promise."

  I hope you had the time of your life

  He had lost her. He lost the love of his life. He had known this, but as he sat where she was buried, looking at her name on the stone, he realized it. She was gone. (y/n) was gone, and he'd live on for years. He'd have to live without her. He cried, remembering her touch on his skin and her soft words to him. His whisper was lost in the wind of the graveyard, which stirred the leaves fallen on the ground, and nobody heard him but the spirits of Valhalla.

 "Goodbye, (y/n)."

And, in the wind of the graveyard, he thought he heard another gentle whisper.

"Goodbye Loki"

  It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right

I hope you had the time of your life

[prettywordsyouleft]

Through His Eyes - Part 4

Summary: Losing your sight after your accident was traumatic, and Jaebum’s guilt of knowing it should have been him instead creates an intricate bond between you both, as you overcome adversity and try to find your way in life again.

Genre: angst / romance

Characters: Im Jaebum x female reader

A/N: This story is emotional and raw compared to some of the content on my blog. It is in no way an attempt to glamourise or undervalue the lives of those who suffer from something similar. This story is purely fictional.

Through His Eyes will be posted every Tuesday at 10am NZST.

Index: Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 [M] | 13 - FINAL

“I’m not sure I want to agree to this.”

“Mum, honestly I’ll be fine. You’re letting me attend university again next week, so this will be like a test run!” You grabbed onto her hand as if it would help her agree.

“How is going to JYP Entertainment for the day going to help you with your studies? You can’t even play a recorder, let alone sing.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” You pouted and felt your Mum pat your hand a moment later. You grinned and bounced a little in your chair. “JYP himself suggested it. That means they’ll take really good care of me. Just like Jaebum did when-”

“I’m still very unhappy he took you out without my permission that day. Lord knows what could have happened to you!”

“And we both said sorry for not letting you know, it was irresponsible of us. But this is official and planned and you know where I’ll be and-”

“Breathe Y/N, you sound like you’re going to hyperventilate. Is it really that important for you to go there?” You nodded your head up and down so fast that you felt a little faint when you stopped. The older woman sighed in defeat. “You’ll be home by eight tonight.”

“Eight?!”

“Eight,” she repeated firmly and you inwardly groaned, feeling twelve again. But knowing that still meant you would spend several hours out and with Jaebum brightened you back up again.

“Okay, I’ll promise I’ll be home before it turns seven fifty-nine!”

“Child, you still can twist me around your finger so well.”

“Thanks Mum!” You hugged her tightly and then pulled her up with you. Pressing a button on your watch and hearing the time was already getting closer to ten in the morning, you gasped and dragged her into your room.

“What is all this?!” She pulled away from you when you stopped and you turned to face her, hoping your expression would show your desperation. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m going to hang out with idols today!” You almost squealed, but refrained from setting off your disapproving Mother to your celebrity worshipping ways again. “I can’t just wear anything. I want to look pretty. Please help me.”

“Pretty for who?” she asked with a hint of amusement and you blushed, swatting at the air in embarrassment. “Let me find the ugliest dress you own then. Not one of them will need to eye my daughter in delight!”

“MUM!”

It was nerve-wracking riding in the car to JYP Entertainment, wishing Jaebum had been the one to pick you up. Mum was the same, and almost changed her mind, until Yong informed her of being the personal manager of GOT7. You knew him from several fan meetings and this eased some of your concerns, though he seemed awkward in your company. You should have been used to it by now; most people you came into contact with didn’t know how to treat someone so different as yourself. Even your friends had started to act as if your blindness changed you into something foreign and not relatable. You held onto the hope of being in Jaebum’s company quickly, knowing he was the only other one who treated you the same each time you were with him.

Yong signalled it was time to get out of the car once the vehicle stopped and he opened the door as you fumbled to get out, feeling instantly anxious as you couldn’t decipher where you were. You started to dread coming out today, and almost dove back into the vehicle. Instead, you flinched at the sudden touch of the manager, who apologised and then led you quietly into the building. The air changed and the greyscale world you lived in dulled once you were out of the sun. You could hear multiple voices, bustling around doing their duties within the company. Your hands broke out into a sweat as you entered an elevator.

“Where are we heading?” you asked quietly and Yong cleared his throat.

“Park Jinyoung CEO-nim wants to welcome your visit today. The members of GOT7 will be in their practice room, and our CEO-nim will take you to them himself.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Is that fine? Are you feeling alright?”

“It’s just a little confusing because I don’t know where I am. I’m fine though, thank you.”

“Not much further to go.”

Yong didn’t speak to you again until he knocked on a door and led you into what you presumed to be the office of the head of JYP Entertainment.

“Ah, you’re here. Hello Y/N!”

You bowed in greeting and hoped you were facing the right way. “Thank you for this opportunity.”

“It is my pleasure. We have spoken to your Mother in the past, but I have yet to meet you in person, which is rude of me. Knowing that you now play an influential part in Jaebummie’s life, it’s important that I get to know you too. Shall I take you to their practice room now?”

You nodded lightly and held out your arm to signal needing assistance. The older man chuckled and then placed your hand on his lower arm, leading you to the next destination. Unlike Yong’s awkward behaviour, Park Jinyoung made a point to tell you of each place as you passed it on the journey and explained a little about what was happening around you. You relaxed in his care, feeling warm from the man’s active approach in chaperoning you.

You entered through another door, the music you had heard nearby now playing loudly around the room. It suddenly stopped and you tried turning your head in hopes it would point you in the right direction to Jaebum. You soon smelt one of his colognes and shifted, his arm extended out for you to grab onto. It was as if you both had your own little routine that you executed with ease and you relaxed completely once you had a hold of him.

“Wow hyung, that was crazy! How did you know to grab onto him Y/N, he hadn’t even said anything?!” Jackson uttered in amazement and you blushed lightly, not realising it might seem weird to others.

You heard the elder Jinyoung chuckle behind you and then felt him move closer. “They say people gain extra senses when another weakens off, Jackson. Y/N, I will leave you in the care of these boys. They are to work though, so I hope to hear of some progress on your upcoming comeback, understood?”

A chorus of voices replied positively and you bowed lightly in agreement. You heard the door close and then stood there awkwardly. After realising you were gripping onto Jaebum’s sleeve of his hoodie, you jumped off it, trying to ease yourself back to being calm.

“They won’t bite, come on let’s go sit down with them.” Jaebum led you over to a sofa and you sat down slowly, sensing the other members were all in front of you as well. Jaebum confirmed it as he kicked out a moment later. “Don’t crowd Y/N, it will unsettle her. She’s not an exhibition in a zoo!”

“Like we’d think that. Besides, we all know Y/N from being a fan for so long.”

You nodded at Mark’s statement and smiled shyly. This was harder than you had anticipated. You smoothed down your dress absent-mindedly and prayed Mum had been only joking when she helped you change earlier on.

“You look really pretty in blue, Y/N,” BamBam complimented from watching your actions, and you let out a breath in relief, knowing you only had one blue dress and it was one of your favourites. You were aware of Jaebum pressing against your side a little more than he had been, and you took up his invitation, leaning into him a little and trying to not sit so stiffly.

“So today we’re working on practising our new title track for our comeback. Jaebum actually wrote it,” Youngjae mentioned to break the silence again.

You giggled. “When doesn’t he write the title, he proudly told me about all his efforts on this album the other day on the phone. I personally like it when you all have a part in the song-making process too!”

“Y/N, I feel like we are meant to be friends.” You felt someone sit down beside you and tried to decipher if it was Jinyoung who had just spoken or not. Although they all had distinctive talking voices, you were overwhelmed and it was getting difficult not to feel insecure.

“Okay, this is going to sound really stupid but I’m a little overwhelmed right now,” you admitted, reaching deep inside yourself for confidence to assist your current situation. You took a shaky breath. “I need to feel your hands, is that okay?”

Suddenly the arm to the left of you was in your grasp and you jumped a little at the forwardness. “I’m first, but why our hands?”

“Because the one thing we use the most with our fans is our hands in fan meetings,” Jaebum explained and you nodded, gently feeling the hand within your grip.

You smiled lightly. “Yugyeom.”

“You knew that was him though, it was obvious,” Jinyoung mentioned and you smiled as another hand was given to you. “That’s not me.”

“I know, it’s Mark-oppa.”

“Ha, I’m oppa!” The man proudly declared. You blushed as you reached out for the next hand.

Jaebum sighed. “Y/N is a year younger than Jinyoung, Jackson and I.”

“Not going to lie, but this is really cool,” Jackson mentioned after you correctly guessed the other member’s hands. “I don’t want to be insensitive. Let’s address the elephant in the room though. We’re all aware you’re blind. But we didn’t quite know what to expect or how to treat you.”

“I’m still nervously excited around you all, I’m still a big fan of your music, and I’m still normal. I just need a little help.”

“Well you’ve got it for the rest of the day, how does that sound?” Jinyoung gripped your hand a little and you nodded, feeling another blush rise to the surface. The group became a little animated and you used your free hand to find Jaebum. It wasn’t long until his hand was in yours again and you silently thanked him for not even saying anything to your random need to keep checking he was there when you knew he was.

“I have a question before we go sing though,” BamBam mentioned above the noise and you angled your head towards where his voice came from. “We never have asked you this, even when we were last together.”

“We don’t need to go there,” Jaebum warned, gripping your hand more than he had been.

“What? All I wanted to know was who Y/N’s bias is out of us all.”

“Why ask her something like that?!” Jackson chided the boy and you heard a playful slap happen. “It’s obvious we don’t need to establish that, I’m her favourite!”

“Hang on, where on earth did you come to that conclusion?”

“Easily Mark, Y/N held my hand longer.”

Yugyeom snorted. “Maybe Y/N couldn’t decipher who’s chubby digits she was holding!”

“Hey!”

You laughed along with the others as the two playful members started to whiz around the room and realised that your love for GOT7 truly extended passed their music. They were welcoming and still seemed to be their dorky selves in front of you too. You appreciated it more than they probably realised.

The fan within you rejoiced to be in such great company again.

_________________

[Part 5]

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[fantasticrebelpenguin]

Is Figma Gearing up to crush the competition?

Welcome to my first post, I’ll be discussing a relatively new to the game but up and comer, Figma. This is meant to help me develop as a blogger and designer, I hope you stay engaged and find what I write to be enlightening and maybe shed a new light on some cool products to come.

    I’m a current design student at Flatiron, so far I have been using sketch for all projects. While I like the platform I find it definitely has a learning curve on it, to be expected (nothing is easy the first time around). I recently heard about Figma from a friend of mine over at instagram. He was visiting NYC for work and some fun times -- came to my bar (where I work part-time) and we were discussing some interesting topics. Figma has been around since September of 2016? (Give or take) and has landed some pretty big names on its board, for example Microsoft, Uber, Slack.

Now for those of you who don't know or accidentally stumbled upon this article Figma is a platform similar to Sketch where you can design prototypes and wireframes and do various other tasks. Now what sets this apart from its rivals is that Figma allows for real time collaboration. This is a game changer for reason such as you can work as a group in real time to create fast edits or modify in real time prototypes during a meeting.  Some other interesting facts are developers can code within Figma now, to keep every thing in house essentially. You view the code and show where to make edits etc. You can test your design early and often with real users via the MAZE plug-in. Instead of waiting A/B testing this can essentially speed up the process of a launch so to speak.

  Figma is also now utilizing smartAnimate. When I used sketch to make my first prototype (which was a horror btw) I wished I could actually animate some of the monstrosities that I created 😂. Unfortunately and thankfully it wasn't possible, but now in Figma you can create beautiful or (horrible) works of art and design. It automatically animates similar objects and brings them to life!! Features to bring advanced transitions and animations have definitely been on my mind since that first project. I want to create something cool and unique ya know ! Two major patterns that you’ll see in this release of Smart Animate, are going to be --

Pattern #1: An object appears, disappears, or changes while the user stays on the same screen You probably see this pattern everyday, like when you hover over a video and the playbar appears, when you hover over a navigation item and a dropdown expands, or when you swipe an object away and new content emerges from underneath.

Pattern #2: Several UI elements stay fixed while the majority of the content on the user’s screen changes You’ll find this common pattern in a tabbed navigation. This slightly more complex animation appears when you drag content left or right and the tab bar indicator moves in the opposite direction.

Pretty useful and cool id say. Im definitely interesting in learning and playing around with Figma. Im sold and even the name is kind of catchy. THAT pretty much sums it up. I hope I have sold some of you on this cool platform and nifty tricks, that's basically what I enjoy from the platform and this concludes my first blog.

Stay Classy San Diego and I’ll see you again.

[thetourguidebarbie]

For @itsnotacrimetoloveyou’s birthday/her starting med school/bribery reasons, etc! Hope you enjoy! Warnings: Smut, possessive!Klaus, mentions of bdsm but no actual bdsm, anal sex, soulmate-adjascent.

Klaus groaned softly as the girl’s blood hit his tongue, his hands easily holding her hips in place on his lap as she struggled for friction against him. Her heartbeat was slowing, her breathing ragged, and he pulled back once she began to go limp, just shy of passing out. She was rather pretty, her eyes dark brown and heavy-lidded, cheeks flushed with arousal and fear. He knew he should probably feel temptation, but whenever he thought of physical satisfaction all he could see was Caroline’s bright blue eyes and teasing grin.

She’d flitted in and out of his life for the last half-century, but never seemed to leave his fantasies. Generally she hung around a few months, less often for more than a year, but their accidental run-ins had been getting less accidental on both their parts for the better part of a decade.

She was close to staying now. He could feel it.

Currently Josh was tailing Caroline and her magically-immortal-witch friend on their third trip through the Andes (he’d been subjected to several group selfies that his hybrid and the Bennett girl were unceremoniously cropped out of before they were saved on his phone), and though he itched to meet her when she was done, his instincts were telling him to wait for some reason, and trusting his gut hardly ever failed him.

Trying to put her out of his mind for now—if only so that he could get some work done—he called for a hybrid to come give his afternoon snack some water and blood and watch her until it left her system to ensure she didn’t turn. He had business to attend to and Josephine got rather testy if he was late. It was best to stay on the powerful witch’s good side if he needed more favors.

The hybrid who came to collect the girl seemed troubled, and he spoke as soon as he entered.

“We picked up a vampire loitering at the edge of the property. She’s in the dungeon.”

Klaus hummed disinterestedly. It was a common occurrence, vampires turning up to either kill him or wriggle their way into his good graces. Neither succeeded of course, but it was occasionally amusing to watch them try. “And?”

“Judging by how weak she was when we brought her in she was probably only turned a few decades ago. She said you’d know her. That you’d want to see her.”

That made Klaus pause, frowning. Very few vampires he knew of fit that description. Though the youngest doppelganger was most likely stupid enough to think he’d be interested in anything she had to say (or anything about her at all), he had no doubt that both Salvatore brothers were invested on ensuring that they remained on separate continents.

His curiosity was piqued, and he pushed his still-swaying snack into the hybrid’s arms. “What did she look like? Do you have her name?”

“Blonde. Tall-ish? She said her name was Carrie. Carly, mayb—“

“Caroline,” Klaus interrupted, already pushing past the hybrid. “Call Josephine and tell her the meeting is cancelled.”

It didn’t take him long to reach the cell, and he winced when he saw Caroline glaring at him from her chains, which bound her wrists together and above her, her toes brushing the floor as she swayed.

“Did you seriously give them orders to cuff me on sight? You should tell your minions it’s rude to tie guests up.”

“I’ll have words with them,” Klaus said, taking a few steps towards her, his eyes dragging up and down her body, looking for injuries. “Though I must point out that you didn’t object to it last time.”

“Yeah, well, last time I wasn’t being dragged from the front gate to a dungeon by random minions. I was on a bed.”

He grinned, stopping to stand so that they were chest to chest, his hands reaching to cup her ass, squeezing lightly and grinning when her breath caught. “And you were a bit distracted by other things as I recall.”

She huffed, her cheeks pinking as she squirmed against his hand almost instinctively, perhaps not realizing she was doing it. “I mean, I’m okay with you doing the tying. Speaking of, how about you untie me. Well, uncuff me.”

“Mmm, I think I like you where you are,” he said, nosing her jaw and grinning when he heard her soft whimper as his blunt teeth dragged down her jaw before he nipped her ear. “Though if you insist I’m happy to oblige, of course.”

She swallowed, shifting slightly so that he caught the scent of the wetness gathering between her thighs, and just as he took his hands away and reached to pull the manacles out of the wall she spoke, the words breathless. “What did you have in mind?”

He smirked, his hands stilling against the chains as he held her gaze. “I've had a great deal of time to come up with an extensive list of all the things I want to do to you, Caroline. However shall I decide?”

“Klaus,” she whined, shifting as he popped the button off of her jeans and slipping his hand beneath the fabric, pressing his finger against her clit through the thin cotton covering her center.

“Best test them all, I think,” he murmured, watching her face for any sign of discomfort, needing to be sure that she wanted what he was offering. She was wet already, and he groaned as he slid his fingers under the fabric and against her folds. “Fuck, sweetheart.”

“I want,” she breathed, trailing off as she rolled her hips against his hand, and he immediately pulled his hand away, hungry for her to admit how much she craved his touch.

“What do you want, Caroline? Tell me.”

He’d spent countless hours exploring her body, mapping her skin to find the places that made her take shallow gasps of air and fall bonelessly into his arms. They’d experimented after the first few times, Caroline bright red as she asked him to talk to her, to tell her everything he fantasized about. Being tied up and teased to the edge was one of her favorites, watching him stroke himself a close second, and he never shied away from giving her what she wanted. He loved having her entirely at his mercy, the absolute trust she gave him heady and precious. He made her beg for his hands, for his mouth or cock, and the way the words passed her lips was immensely satisfying. Even when he was rough, when he broke skin with his fangs or nails or she let him tie her on her knees and fuck her hard and fast from behind, she wanted it, asked for it. There was nothing more satisfying for his wolf than seeing her in sheets covered in his scent, head bowed between her elbows with her wrists tied and her legs spread, all for him to take.

“I want you,” she said, staring at him with big blue eyes.

“And how do you want me, love?”

“I thought you wanted to be in charge.”

“I’m open to suggestions.”

“I want you to claim me,” she whispered, her breath shallow, and he stilled.

They’d only talked about it once, the process of a werewolf claiming its mate. It was permanent and intimate, a mark of him invisibly inked by magic that she’d carry for the rest of her eternal life. It meant she was his.

He wanted to so badly, just the words coming out of her mouth making his cock throb as he imagined how her back would feel against his chest as he filled her, the break of her skin against his teeth as he marked her as his. He wanted his scent to cling to her skin, for his name to be the only one to fall from her lips.

“Caroline,” he said slowly, his voice rough. “That’s not a....a claiming isn’t something to take lightly.”

“I’ve been thinking about it for a decade, Klaus. I think I know that I want it.”

“You’re sure?” he asked, trying to resist the urge to yank the chain from the wall, his breathing shallow, his cock aching at the image of her on her knees with her cheek against the stone, her clothes shredded, hands behind her back to part the cheeks of her arse for him.

She nodded, moving her head slightly so that she could catch his lips in a drugging kiss, her tongue lightly stroking his lower lip as she sighed in contentment before pulling back to rest her forehead against his. “I love you.”

He felt like his throat was clogged, his breath stalled in his lungs. He hadn’t expected that, for her to admit her feelings for him so easily, and it was slightly overwhelming to hear it when he wasn’t sure how to respond. ‘Love’ had never seemed like quite the right word for how he felt about Caroline, after all. It had always been passion and obsession, protectiveness and need. It was something so much more than such a small word could describe. She was everything and she was his.

It was close enough for now, though, especially when he saw the way her eyes lit up when he repeated it back to her, the brightness of her smile almost blinding.

“But Caroline,” he continued, needing to press, to be absolutely certain. “You do know that if you do this...if you agr—“

“I just told you I’m yours,” she interrupted, slightly breathless, eyes dark. “Klaus, there is literally not a single other person in the world who I’d trust enough for this. I wanted some time to really think it through and decide, and I did. I want to be with you. I want to be yours the way that you’ve always been mine.”

“Caroline—“

“Please,” she breathed, and he swore, his forehead falling against hers.

She squirmed against his fingers as he stroked her hip before moving to cup her ass, her back arching as his other hand gently tugged at her nipple, and he pulled back, watching hungrily as her eyes grew hazy, her lips parting with a soft moan.

“Bed, then,” he murmured, reaching for the manacles and yanking them from the stone with a cunch before snapping the steel that held them closed. “I want to see your nails rip our sheets.”

She seemed pleased at his use of ‘our’, shaking out her hands when the manacles fell with a crash to the floor. “I’m okay with that.”

“Perhaps you’ll let me shackle you again later, to rub your clit until you’re lingering on the edge while I trace the mark I’ve left on your skin with my tongue.”

“Perhaps,” she drawled, making him grin. She’d picked up some of his habits and word choices over their intermittent meetings (and admittedly he a few of hers, most notably the eye-rolling, though he thankfully had never started inserting unnecessary ‘likes’ between clauses), but her penchant for making fun of his ‘old person britishness’ nonetheless remained, including his choice of ‘boring’ teas and use of words like ‘perhaps’ and ‘perchance’.

He looked forward to seeing what else they’d share, what other little habits she’d show him.

He pulled her close to speed his private wing of the compound, not bothering to be subtle when he buried his nose in her hair, savoring the feel of her pressed against him.

She pulled back, pressing her lips against his, swiping the roof of his mouth with the heat of her tongue, hands curled around his biceps. He let her take what she wanted for now, to taste him and explore his skin with her hands the way she had a hundred times before.

When she finally pulled back with dark eyes and puffy lips he was achingly hard. Her breathing was slightly laboured, the scent of her want rolling off of her only tempting him to feel her wet and tight around his cock.

Perhaps later, when they were tangled in their sheets and she was pliant and sated in his arms, he’d slot himself between her thighs and watch her quiver underneath him, flushed and hazy-eyed. For now he just craved her on her knees, his wolf itching to claim now that his mate had freely offered.

“Do you have lube?” she asked, kicking off her jeans and beginning to pull off her blouse. She stilled at the low rumble in his throat as her creamy skin was revealed and grinned, her movements slowing down as the fabric creeped up her body. “I brought some in my purse just in case, but—“

“You planned this,” he interrupted, his lips twitching, and she nodded easily, unclipping her bra and shrugging it off. “Tell me sweetheart, do you think about it often?”

“All the time,” she admitted, sliding her thong down her legs and kicking it away. “Where do you want me?”

He swallowed, taking in the sight of her standing nude in front of him without a hint of self-consciousness.

“Bed,” he ordered, his voice hoarse. It took effort for him to tear his eyes away from her getting comfortable against his pillows, to ignore the breathy sigh when he turned away to pull the toys they used when she was in town from the top shelf of the closet and looking through it for the bottle. “Don’t touch yourself. I can hear you.”

He grinned at her huff of annoyance, turning to walk back and taking the opportunity to admire the view. She was spread for him, her thighs shining from the way the light hit the slickness of her arousal, her cheek pressed to the pillow so that she could look at him, the practiced innocent expression on her face undermined by the barest hint of a smirk on her lips. “I thought you liked watching me touch myself.”

“Not today. Be patient, love. Good girls get rewards, after all.”

She bit her lip at the tone of his voice, her eyes darkening when he stripped off his shirt and began to undo his belt. She’d never been shy about her enjoyment of his more possessive instincts when they were alone, had freely admitted to preferring a rougher touch and liking the way he took control. He saw her eyes follow his fingers as he unbuttoned his jeans, how her tongue darted over her lips when she saw him hard for her.

“Keep your wrists where they are, sweetheart,” he warned, brushing her spine with his fingertips when she murmured her agreement and climbing on the bed behind her.

The way her breath caught when he spread the slick liquid over her back entrance made him grin, and he was unable to resist stroking the skin of her arse as a light tease, her low whimper of complaint making his cock twitch. He stroked himself with one hand as he got her ready with the other, whispering praise about how well she was doing and how beautiful she looked that he’d learned would make her melt.

She was panting as he stretched her with his fingers, rolling her hips in an effort to find a rhythm with his fingers. He pulled back when she was finally ready, slickening his hard cock with lube and positioning himself at her entrance.

“Good, sweetheart?”

“Yeah,” she breathed. “Go ahead.”

He could see her eyes go hazy when he pressed inside of her, his hands squeezing her hips. “I love the way you look on your knees like this. Bent over in my bed, offering yourself to me for the taking.”

She moaned his name when he began to move, her breathing growing harsher when his thrusts sped up. He watched her face when he reached around to rub her clit in tight circles, committed the sight of her parted lips and flushed cheeks to memory. It had been years since he’d done this, his wolf side unlocking having made him reluctant to risk an accidental bond. Waiting for Caroline to choose him for good had been torture, the rush of pure, primal need in his veins whenever he laid eyes on her difficult to control. He wanted nothing more than to let his wolf’s magic unfurl from his skin and cloak her, to scrape his teeth against her neck as he came and leave the scar visible as a warning to any who might mean her harm.

“That feels so good,” she gasped out, arching her back to give him a better angle. “Talk to me.”

He grinned, bending forward. “Talk to you?”

“Mmhm.”

“What about, sweetheart?”

She huffed, the sound making him grin. “Have you thought about me when I was gone?”

“Of course,” he said, his voice almost embarrassingly hoarse with need, his breath hitching when she clenched around him. “Every day.”

“Tell me.”

“About how much I craved you tangled with me at night? The rhythm of your breathing? Your scent clinging to my sheets?” he asked, purposefully avoiding what she’d requested between the lines of her question, wanting her to ask.

“Did you think about me when you touched yourself!” she clarified, shooting him an exasperated look that changed to a gasp when he pinched her clit.

“Every day,” he repeated, moving faster, savoring her moans, his nails digging into her hips. “I have so many fantasies of the things I want to do to you, sweetheart. Things I want to try. I do love the way you look bound to my bed with a toy in your pussy, compelled not to come but trying to find friction, begging for me to indulge you. It’s a common fantasy I go back to, the memory of your pretty lips parted and your eyelids fluttering.”

She moaned his name, her fingers curling in the sheets, her breathing growing more labored. “More,” she demanded. “Please.”

“But sometimes that’s not quite enough,” he continued, his hands moving to her hips to steady her, “and when I need the extra push I think of the last time you were here, how you begged for your master to give you release. You were so eager to please, so perfect. I’ve thought extensively about what else I might convince you to beg for, what pretty sounds you’ll make as I stain your arse red with my palm or fasten clamps around your nipples. How you’ll get wet from nothing but the sting of painful pleasure and the knowledge that I’m getting off on it. Would you like that?”

She nodded hurriedly. “I liked it when we did it last time,” she breathed, her words tangling as she tried to get them out. “It was really hot.”

“Good girl,” he murmured, grinning at the way her breath hitched at the words. “Now tell me, sweetheart. Is my cock filling you enough to make you come?”

“No,” she gasped out, admitting what they both already knew from years of exploring each other’s bodies. “I need you to touch my clit.”

“Ask. Beg.”

She obeyed immediately, the pleas falling quickly from her lips. He could feel his muscles tightening as he obliged her, the pleasure of her tight and hot around his cock as he took her in, bent and submissive and begging for more, for him to fuck her harder, bringing him closer to the edge. He could feel his fangs break through his gums, the overwhelming desire to taste, to claim,

He bent forward to bite her shoulder when he came, running his tongue along the mark and grinning at her sharp breath from the sensation. He toyed with her clit until he felt her shake against him as she tipped over the edge.

He rolled off of her and pulled her close, offering her his neck for the cure. He had only a brief moment to admire the face of her monster before she let her fangs pierce his neck, drinking a few gulps with a soft hum before pulling back, running her tongue along the wound when it closed.

“How do you feel, sweetheart?”

“Good,” she said, arching her back to stretch before curling closer to him, tangling her legs with his, her face buried in his shoulder. “I’m tired.”

“You must have flown quite a ways.”

“Yeah. It was a huge pain because I had to convince your minion to let it be a surprise and then deal with flying a gazillion hours being worried that you’d say no and I’d just embarrass myself—“

“I would never,” he said immediately, tracing her spine with his fingers. “I’ve waited for you to be ready for ages. You can’t imagine I’d ever turn you away.”

“It’s nice to know for sure,” she said, wriggling even closer so that her body was fully pressed against his, cloaking herself in his warmth and scent. “I love you.”

There were those words again, so human and small, but he couldn’t deny that hearing them fall from her lips made his heart lighten.

“And I you.”

“Well you’d better. You’re stuck with me now,” she pointed out, squeaking when he pinched her side. “Klaus!”

“I’ve long known that I would never be able to let you go, Caroline. My mate.”

“Good,” she said, humming contentedly as his arms wrapped around her. “Me neither.”

[alo-piss-trancy]

SD/R2 OMO HEADCANONS (Pt1)

Decided it was probably time for me to post a list of my omo hcs for this game since I did the THH chars! Like with the other list, I'll be excluding a couple I have no interest in thinking of omo content of (in this case, Hiy/oko and Teru/teru). I'm breaking this one into multiple posts throughout the week as I compile my thoughts (I'll add a link to all of them on the fic masterlist page later so you can find them all) because I feel this is gonna be a lot longer than my THH post haha!

Here we go, the first 3 (or 4) chars! Please stop reading now if you don't want spoilers for the game bc there will be several!!!

~~~

Gun/dham:

* I firmly hc him as vegetarian (not vegan. He will consume byproducts like milk/cheese/eggs/etc, but only harvested himself or from small farms/sources that he has personally vetted/researched where he knows 100% that the creatures are treated ethically.)

* That's actually not omo-related besides milk oops but it relates to my next point, which is that for the most part he prefers Natural food/drink. Water, fruit or vegetable juices/smoothies, etc. He's not really used to strange 'Human' confections like soda or coffee, so the caffeine and diuretics hit him hard and fast and make it difficult for him to estimate how much time he has. It also makes him jittery/hyped as hell which Does Not Help.

* As long as he isn't screwed over by caffeine or a ton of drinks, he has a decently strong bladder and can hold for a long time. He has a lot of practice from hiding/waiting to help certain animals, laying trapped under sleeping cats/dogs, etc. And also avoiding public restrooms like the Plagues they are for most of the day...

* He's bladdershy AF and has been since early childhood. I saw he had signs drawn on the doors/curtain in his room during my playthrough (including the bathroom) and that is definitely his safezone. Can't go outside either bc 1. He's paranoid he'll be seen by other ppl and 2. That feels disrespectful to the nature deities despite the logic that animals do it all the time. He knows that's dumb and he hates himself for it.

* Sometimes I do like to ignore the bladdershy hc just for some variety. Even in that case tho he'd still be a bit of a diva about which public bathrooms he uses. If it's gross or weird he's gonna avoid it/complain/refuse to go even if bursting. He's stubborn af

* We all know he canonically goes commando. Therefore he is in extra danger because any leaks will go straight to his pants RIP Since he usually wears black it isn't that visable (as long as it's just a bit and not a full wetting), but if he ever has to wear smth else u know he's screwed c':

* He's not very vocal when desperate at all. Mostly strangled whines or grunts (only when alone or if so urgent he can't hide it), he's just so easily embarrassed that he can choke most sound.

* He can also hide his body language pretty well. He can manage to keep himself to rigid posture and the occasional shudder or fidget if needed. Only when he's beyond caught and about to wet will he resort to obvious grabs or dances in front of others.

* Even if he wet he wouldn't cry (I don't seem him crying much for anything tbh, barring extreme things like death). He's angry at himself and extremely ashamed. He would get red as a tomato, attempt to slink away and avoid any witnesses for several days. Could get snippy or hide in his shell all pitiful, depending on the person.

* When alone or sure he can't be caught, he'll fidget more once things are dire. Mostly his long-ass legs. Jiggling, crossing, bending at the knees or bouncing up and down, shuffling from foot-to-foot, everything. He doesn't really do much with his hands beyond a quick crotch-squeeze.

* He'd def let Haj/ime or So/nia dom tf out of him as far as making him hold/lose control, he's submissive and enjoys the challenging test of limits. However, I could also see him totally having a thing for 'marking' his partners during the times he doms.

So/nia:

* Lowkey has a bladder of steel tbh, tho you'd never expect it by looking at her. It takes a lot to get her desperate and even more for her to crack enough to show her needs to others.

* She had a lot of long lectures/lessons, meetings, social events, formal balls, etc. growing up, so she just got used to waiting a lot between breaks so as not to interrupt or be rude to her guests. This also makes her wicked good at remaining completely calm on the outside and keeping the quiver out of her tone even when she's absolutely dying.

* Even once people know her problem, she would NEVER grab herself or dance. Literally the most you'll get out of her is legs crossed at the ankles. For the most part the only sign of her desperation is the slight fullbody shivering where she has her muscles and posture strained. If you're very lucky she may wince or her voice will start shaking/get breathy (her breathing gets super fast and shallow when at her absolute limit. Like nearly hyperventilating fast).

* While not shy at all about asking/telling others where she's going, she was raised with manners. She refuses to interrupt while others are busy, and will wait until she feels the time is appropriate to but into convos or leave the room, even if that could take a long time. She will not skip out on a group task if she can help it bc she feels very strongly about doing her part and not coming off as a slacker (so group investigations/new island exploring/building for Us/ami in Island Mode are all LONG tasks she will force herself to stick out without complaint, even if she's about to wet herself).

* Despite being a princess, she definitely doesn't view anything as being 'beneath' her. If someone asks her to just go outside/in a sketchy place/strange receptacle, she'll do it without question as soon as they agree to glance away. In fact, sometimes it's actually a little thrilling.

* If she did wet herself she would certainly be embarrassed, maybe even teary-eyed depending on the situation/who was around. However, it certainly isn't the end of the world for her, and she would be able to brush it off fairly easily once she got cleaned up and had a chance to breathe. Could probably start making jokes about it by the next day, or just wait patiently for everyone to forget about it.

* Probably has a big piss kink (for others. She isn't much on doing holds herself, minus an occasional 'Damsel in Distress' type roleplay). And honestly just a big one for domming others (sometimes sweetly, sometimes cold/cruel like True Royalty). She looks cute but She Nasty (tm). Gun/dham and Haji/me (to a lesser extent, bc his smart-ass take-no-shit attitude makes him a bit of a brat sometimes lol) are her bitches.

M/ikan (I have to split hers in two bc I have polar opposite hcs) :

Non-Despair M/ikan -

* Is every bit as shy uwu ohnoooo~ as you'd imagine. Super blushy and fidgety and teary-eyed but never admits what's wrong even once it's obvious, to the point of potty-dancing in place (but she's Totally Fine she can hang in there and doesn't need to stop what she's doing)! You literally have to drag her away to the bathroom if u don't want her to have an accident. Would rather die than inconvenience anyone by telling them she has to go, will berate herself for the inconvenience when that backfires and she's made a mess of herself, 120% convinced everyone hates her and p much refuses any comfort bc she's so trapped in the spiral. Bawls her eyes out.

* If on a rare occasion she does work up the nerve to speak up and is denied, that's it. She will not dare ask again even if the person didn't realize how badly she had to go. Nope. Clearly her only option is to hold it until she can't anymore, or until she's alone and can run off by herself.

*Also she totally would whimper to herself in The Worst omo video star voice lmao "Oh noooo I'm leaking into my panties~, it's cOmIng OuTtttt~ uwu uwu uwu" (i'm not making fun of those istg but u know Exactly what 'sexy baby' voice I mean. That is Mi/kan. Don't be so fake bitch We Know u didn't fall spread eagle naturally)

* Says 'Potty' unironically. It's the only word she uses for the bathroom.

* Surprisingly not bladdershy at all. She's actually the opposite. Will go Anywhere (but will be embarrassed while doing it).

* She's used to holding a lot bc afraid to leave class/stuck helping patients for hours on end. However while she has a wicked high capacity and stays very hydrated, she has pretty shaky control. Leaks A LOT, be it in general or bc she gets startled/nervous. She's like a chihuahua lmao. She wears medical liners when on duty as a nurse or during school, but for general hangouts she forgoes them (totally bc she forgot and Not bc she wanted to show her wet panties off to strangers/peers when she falls again, that would be Slu/tty and Improper).

* Once held for ages and then ended up wetting herself just bc Hiy/oko told her to. It wasn't actually a request, just a one-off snippy comment that H forgot about like 10 min after she said it and walked away. When she found out Mi/kan took it seriously she absolutely lost it laughing for the next few days

*Her potty dances include lots of thighs rubbing together/hunching over, hands wandering dangerously close only to pause and grip her skirt/dress hem, hopping from leg to leg and shaking at the knees. She's pitiful when desperate and very cute. Pants and whimpers near constantly, nibbles at her knuckles to try and muffle it.

* Knows when she's at risk of actual damage from holding, but it's still a 50/50 shot of whether she'll break down and go or keep trying to hold. She knows it's unwise, but due to her complete lack of self worth she doesn't really care if her own body is damaged.

* That said, she monitors everyone else very closely and will harass them firmly to take breaks if they're at risk.

Despair/True Mik/an -

* MASSIVE PISS KI/NK. Loves to be dommed/told to hold until she wets. LOVES to do the same to others and tell them all the mean things for a change. She will borderline Break You.

* Takes great satisfaction in watching others struggle. If given an opportunity to make others desperate/prevent them from getting to a bathroom without revealing herself, she will definitely take it. She has no sympathy.

* The Queen of lacing things with diuretics, but can also often find that boring/too easy. A bit disdainful of that method tbh.

* Tying ppl down to hold or hooking them to IVs and 'misplacing' the call button is more her style.

* Used to hold for Jun/ko a lot to appease her. Would be willing to hold for Na/gito, but tbh he's just as willing to hold for her so it's a bit of a stalemate and they've yet to work out who does what.

* Will piss on her victim/lover while staring them directly in the eyes. Does not flinch. She toes the line between sexy and just plain creepy lol