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pinkja · 4 years ago

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Sports, Crushes, College and All Other Things Stressful (Nora x Black Female Reader)

AU where Nora is a stressed out college student and you are a simple black girl who has no time management.

Nora felt like she was a simple person.

She grew up in a small town near Salt Lake City, made it through the akward teenage phase, and graduated high school with honors.

Does it matter that she was always so close to pulling her own hair out in frustration? She doesn’t think so.

She liked to think that her high school years went swell.

She was captain of the swim team, played in both tennis, chess, soccer, and volleyball. She was also co captain of the debate team, won the Reading Bowl in TOME for three years in a row (she didn’t join freshman year) and did a bunch of community service at the homeless shelter every other Saturday from 9am to 3pm.

Yeah, Nora was a simple person, she thinks.

Does it matter that she barely had time to sleep? She doesn’t think so.

She got into college with a full ride scholarship (which her family celebrated for two days straight. It practically turned into a block party.) She was on the Pre-Med track, wanting to become a pediatrician like her grandmother had been, and like her mother had been, and like her older sister had been as well.

Wait…who exactly was she doing this fo–

Doesn’t matter!

She got to get an apartment on the campus housing first year with her best friend, Abby, who’s a biology major of all things, when Nora was pretty sure she was gonna be an English major. Her room was pretty average, but Abby often made comments about how it really needed some personality.

“You don’t even have a poster!” Abby remarked one day while she was laying on Nora’s bed. She had an old copy of Lord of the Flies in her hands, read and re-read about eight times.

“Not everyone needs a poster, Abby.”

“Yeah, they do. Especially when you don’t have a book or a video game, or even something to play music on-”

“Isn’t it enough that I have a phone?” Nora placed her head on Abby’s lap. Abby rolled her eyes and sat up on the bed so Nora would be more comfortable.

“And you had to beg your mother for it. Now hush and let me finish this chapter.” She leaned against the headboard and made a comment about how she was going to buy her a poster for Dirty Dancing or something.

Now that freshman year was almost over, and tennis season for the school had started up again a month prior, Nora, being captain of that and many other teams, was starting to feel even more stressed. She has to aid the coach in training the less athletic recruits, plan their next meeting, and prepare for their next game which was in two weeks, which was a few days before a big biochemistry test.

She was out by the track, the slightly warm early April air hitting the side of her sweaty face after almost an hour of staying out in the sun. There was another hour of practice left, and with a clipboard, a pen, and a timer in her hand, she watched the baby-faced girls run laps around the field.

“Ok, the game is on a Saturday, it takes around 30 minutes to get there by bus, so 30 minutes to get back… but the game ends at 6:30 so I have to give at least another 30 minutes to an hour for traffic, not including the time it takes to shower and pack our stuff up so the latest I’d get home is around…” She looked up from her clipboard, tapping her feet on the floor. “Jackson! If you want to play in the next game you gotta beat your record! Pick up the speed!” She called out to a red haired girl.

God, I really hope I’m not sweating out my hair, she thought, brushing a few stray hairs back in her ponytail. Nora went back to muttering.

“Ok so that means I’ll be home by 8 at the latest, and if I lock myself in my room and pull an all nighter, I could probably get all my studying done by 6-ish? Maybe… I would have to stock up on coffee. I’ll stop by the store on the way ho–”

Nora’s quiet rambling was interrupted by a voice.

“Hey, Captain!” Nora didn’t turn around, already knowing who it was by the voice alone.

(Y/n) (L/n).

Ah, Nora’s feelings for you were…complicated, to say the least. But we’ll get to that later.

“Sorry I’m so late.” You rubbed the back of your neck with a sheepish smile.

“Fourth time this month, (Y/n).” Nora’s voice was stern, exasperated and a bit annoyed.

“I know. I know, but–”

“You know the drill. 10 extra laps and you have to beat your record or else you don’t play in the next game. Go.” Nora didn’t look up from her clipboard, but knew you were pouting anyways.

Your footsteps echoed in Nora’s ears as you ran to the field, smiling at your teammates as they passed you. She marked off your name on her clipboard and wrote “Late” next to it, again, with furrowed eyebrows and annoyance tickling the back of her brain.

When 4 o’clock came, the girls all filed out of the field and towards the locker room, feet tired and sore. You were still running, of course, doing the 10 (plus 10 extra) laps you were assigned. Although you weren’t, Nora felt like you were taking your time, acting as if you hadn’t a care in the world.

“God, I have to get home and study…” Nora whispered and rolled her eyes, even though only 5 minutes had passed. By 4:15, you were done, walking back to her while rubbing your left thigh.

“How’d I do, Captain?” You asked while wiping the sweat off of your forehead. You balanced yourself on the balls of your feet. Nora clicked the button on her timer once again and finally looked at you.

You had sweat stains on your blue shirt, and you picked at the edge of your shorts that rode up your thigh just a little bit.

“Two minutes under your last time. I guess you get to stay in this time around.” Nora said curtly, pursing her lips while doing so.

You smiled as if you already knew the answer. “Aw come on, Captain. Have a little faith in me, yeah? I’m not all bad.” Your nose scrunched you as you pouted.

God your lips were so cu–

“But I do stink though. Imma hit the showers real quick. You coming?” Nora gulped, mind going a little to the left as she snapped out of her thoughts.

“Yeah.” Was all Nora could say in response.

They walked into the locker rooms, all of the girls clean and gone. Nora placed her things on one of the benches, opening and looking into her locker for clean clothes. You did the same.

“Jeez, all that time I put into doing my hair only to sweat it out in less than 10 minutes. I don’t know how you do it, Captain.” You remarked, looking in the mirror of your locker. Nora hummed, but didn’t respond. She grabbed some fresh clothes from her gym bag and started stripping.

Nora peeked into the mirror in her locker at you. Yours was diagonal from hers. You were still looking at yourself, not at her. Part of her wanted you to be.

Once she was done, she wrapped a towel around herself and grabbed some soap and a rag. She showered in silence, only being interrupted by the pat pat of your footsteps on the floor as you hopped in the showers next to her. You tied your hair up and put a bandana around your head before starting the shower, and Nora looked away before she could see anything else.

She thanked whatever god there was that there was a wall between you two.

But what if there wasn’t?

Nora started to feel very self-conscious all of a sudden. She started to take note of the stretch marks and too thick hairs on her stomach and arms and legs.

Oh my god, is my hair presentable?

She went to smooth out her hair with a (thankfully) not soapy hand, but stopped herself. She wouldn’t want to ruin her hair now. She spent all morning getting it together.

Wait? Why am I worrying about my appearance? My body is fine.

After her little realization, Nora started scrubbing really hard at her arms and legs, preoccupying her mind with the upcoming test.

Nora finished before you did, wrapping a towel around herself and waiting until she was out of your sight to start drying herself. She put on some lotion and deodorant, got dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants and a green shirt and sneakers before grabbing her stuff and going to leave.

“Captain!” Your voice stopped her.

Dammit! She was almost free!

“Yeah?” Nora took a few steps back but didn’t look in your direction.

“Can you…um…stay?” Nora’s spit got caught in her throat. “I mean, until I’m done. I really don’t like being in the locker room by myself. My mom always told me don’t let myself be in a room alone.” You let out a laugh, albeit a bit nervous.

Nora nodded, spitting out a stuttered, “Sure.” She hopes she didn’t sound too excited. She leaned against the outside wall of the showers, facing away from you once more. Nora waited (im)patiently, suddenly remembering how she forgot her glasses at home and that’s why she hasn’t been able to see well all day. She also remembered the stain on the coffee table that she was too busy to clean up because she was rushing out of the house because she had slept through her–

The squeak of the shower faucet snapped Nora out of her thoughts as the rush of water stopped. Nora kept her eyes on her shoes as you passed her, suddenly very interested in the speck of dirt on the toe of her left shoe.

I should clean it later, Nora thought.

“Captain?” Nora’s head snapped up, looking towards you with large brown eyes. You brought a plump lip into your mouth before giving Nora a smile. You were done getting dressed, snatching the now-wet bandana off of your head.

God, is it hot in here? Nora feels like she’s been sweating oceans.

“Thank you for staying. I’m sorry if I bothered you.”

“No problem.” It’s not like she doesn’t have a test she has to study for or a meeting at 6 for a club that she really couldn’t remember the name of now which was really concerning, but Nora couldn’t bring herself to care because you were smiling at her and Nora’s heart was not working anymore.

Although part of her wanted to be mad at such a carefree attitude and your seemingly lack of schedule, she settled on scolding you instead.

“Practice is next Monday at 3. Try not to be late next time.” You nodded before grabbing your stuff from the bench behind you and walking out of the locker room in silence. Nora followed before you both split off in different directions.

Nora’s weekend was filled with nothing but meetings and studying and homework, with the constant repetition of “Game on a Saturday, test on a Monday” leaving her mouth. She started her mornings at 4 am, going for a 2 hour run around campus. At 6 she went back home and took a shower, answered a bunch of emails about things that Nora couldn’t bring herself to care about anymore, and then she spent a good 3 hours studying old material from her classes, read a book she was assigned for Lit, then she was back studying again.

Wait, did she eat anything?

She wouldn’t have if Abby hadn’t practically shoved a piece of turkey bacon down her throat because, “You literally haven’t eaten since yesterday afternoon” which she should be grateful for her friend’s willingness to remember the important things for her when she forgot them. She had meetings for Spanish and French Honor Society, Creative Writing, the school’s green club, and she also had to tutor a bunch of kids who were failing their math classes.

And to top it all off, you were late to practice, again! God, Nora wanted to be mad at you. You were being selfish at this point. Didn’t you know that if you were late she had to stay with you until practice was over?

Well, technically, she didn’t. She could leave practice whenever she wants to but honestly she didn’t want to leave you to practice alone. Plus, you might slack off!

Nora’s eyebrows twitched at the thought. It’s like you didn’t have a care in the world! You just walked around wasting her time, your time even!

You arrived 15 minutes late, better than last time, but still late.

You were already preparing your excuses, but Nora shushed you, telling you to go and practice on your serves. You did just that. Nora had already completed her drills, now just waiting for you to show up. She wrote your name down and the word “late” next to it once again before she went back to observing her team.

Once 4 o’clock rolled around, the girls rolled out and into the locker rooms, while you stayed behind. Your serve was good, Nora thought, you were just a heavy hitter and would forget to try and get the ball into the court first.

After watching the ball fly past the court for the 3rd time, Nora sighed and made her way over to you. You spotted her and gave her a smile.

“Hey, Captain! You need something?” You asked as you threw the ball in the air. You hit it across the net and watched as it flew straight into the wall. You grabbed another ball from the basket next to you and went to do it again until Nora gently grabbed your wrist and pulled it back down.

“You hit too hard, (Y/n). Try it again, but with a little less force.” Nora stated, backing out of the court to watch you once more.

You tried again, only for the ball to land just outside of the court.

“That’s ok, (Y/n), just try again.” Nora encouraged you. You tried again and again, only for you to keep hitting it out of the court.

You let out a huff, frustrated. “Captain…” You whined, turning to her with dragged feet. “This seems pointless. I just keep hitting out of bounds.” Nora raised a brow, not taking you for the type to give up so easily.

“You know we can’t leave until you get it right.” You pouted at her answer before going to try again. Nora stopped you, walking up to you and grabbing the hand you were holding your racket in. “Here. Make your hand face the net. That always helped me serve better.” Nora turned your wrist. “Now plant your feet so they’re in line with your shoulders.” You listened. “Now breathe in, slowly, and as you breathe in, toss the ball into the air and as soon as you exhale, swing. Don’t focus on the force. Focus on how your hand moves to hit the ball.” Nora realized how close she was to you, how weird this must’ve looked to others and what they might think.

She was starting to get self-conscious again.

Nora cleared her throat and backed out of the court again. Once she was far enough, you served again, the ball just making it into the court. You jumped up in excitement, coily hair bouncing with you. Your eyes darted towards her, a wide smile on your brown face.

“Captain! Captain I did it! Did you see?” You spoke with the giddiness of a child with a new toy, and, suddenly, Nora’s anger at you disappeared. Nora nodded with a smile.

“I saw. Good job, (Y/n).” You smiled wider at her praise, going to pick up all of the balls you managed to drop. Nora helped.

After cleaning up the mess you made, you both walked to the locker rooms. You repeated your routine from Friday, with Nora finishing earlier than you once again. Nora remembered how you had asked her to stay, and decided not to leave you behind. She walked to her locker in silence, getting dressed in some jeans, a graphic tee, and her same pair of sneakers she always wore before leaning against the walls of the showers like she did once before.

She was still facing away from you.

“(Y/n)?” Nora called, despite the lump in her throat about having to talk to you while you were naked.

“Yeah, Captain?” You answered, stopping the humming you were previously doing.

“May I ask, um, why are you always so…late?” Nora tapped her fingers on the wall and hoped she didn’t offend you with the question.

You were silent for a moment before answering. “I just lose track of time, y’know?” Nora’s eyebrow twitched again. You spoke as if you knew what she was thinking. “Yeah, yeah. I know that’s not a good excuse. However, I get so caught up in the little things that I just forget to remember the big things.” Another twitch of the eyebrow.

God, was it gonna get stuck like that?

You turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around yourself as Nora moved to sit on the bench. She preoccupied herself with her shoes again and waited for you to get dressed. The buzz of your phone interrupted the silence between you two. You grabbed it from out of your locker and looked at the bright screen before scowling and placing it back in your bag.

“I wanna know, Captain.” You started, as you put underwear on. Nora cursed the human evolutionary habit of looking at anyone and anything that made noise, as she had turned her gaze towards you as you were putting on a dress and oh my goodness you weren’t wearing a bra. Nora’s face burned as she quickly turned back around to look at her shoes. “Have you ever had Mr. Lance before?” It took a few seconds for Nora to register your question, and once she did, she shook her head no.

“U-Um… no. No I haven’t, um… Why do you ask?” Preoccupy yourself with the test, Nora. Focus on the test.

Game on a Saturday. Test on a Monday.

“I wanted to thank you for once again putting up with me and helping me in practice. Other captains would’ve just left me there.” Now she felt bad for thinking about leaving. “You wanna go?” You turned to her with another smile, not caring that Nora wasn’t even facing you.

“You don’t have to. It’s really no problem.”

Game on a Saturday. Test on a Monday.

“Come on, Captain. Please. I promise you it’ll be worth your time!” Nora finally gained the courage to look at you, and you were pouting. Good god you were pouting and it was so adorable and Nora really has to learn how to focus again.

Game on Saturday. Test on Monday.

Nora was in a trance. Your eyes had caught her in a trance and she couldn’t get out but she had to. So she agreed to your little adventure. You jumped up again in excitement and Nora was once again reminded of the fact that you don’t have on a bra. You both walked out of the locker room and you led Nora down the street to one of the coffee shops about 7 minutes away.

“Mr. Lance is just a few minutes from here.” You started as you put your phone in your bag after checking it again. “And I know the name seems kinda boring, however, they serve the best ice cream there is.” You gave Nora another beaming smile to reassure her, even though Nora didn’t need any reassurance.

Once you both arrived at the little parlor, you opened the door for Nora and she was immediately hit by the cool air and the smell of mint. Nora scrunched up her nose a little bit and sat at one of the red chaired booths. You sat opposite of her and folded your hands on top of each other.

“What do you usually get here?” Nora asked you, pushing her glasses up to her face.

“I either get the triple chocolate milkshake or the extra cookies and cream ice blizzard. But that’s my personal preference. Get whatever you want.” You said nonchalantly, not even looking at the menu.

Would it be too embarrassing for Nora to admit that she didn’t know how to choose? Nora thought that yes, it would be. However she couldn’t just not order something after you had brought her all the way here. That would be rude! But it would also be rude to sit there and order something she wouldn’t want and then sit there and pick at it because she had never really had time to–

“And what about you, miss?” Nora jumped at the voice. She looked up from her death match with the colorful menu and at the waiter who was standing there with a notepad in her pale hands.

“Uh…oh! Oh! I would like a…” What the hell was that first thing you said? “A triple chocolate milkshake, please.” Nora’s face burned at her awkwardness. Maybe she didn’t leave that weird teenage phase at all.

“Coming right up! I’ll just take these off your hands.” The waiter grabbed the menus and walked off to the kitchen.

Nora tried to act like she didn’t feel your gaze on her while you waited, and felt grateful when your phone buzzed for the third time that afternoon.

“Guess I’m popular today, huh Captain?” You let out a chuckle as you turned your phone off.

Nora smiled back and she hoped it wasn’t crooked.

You pulled at a curl on your head and frowned. “I’m so glad tomorrow is wash day. My hair’s been so uncooperative lately.” You pulled at the same curl again and watched as it bounced back into place. “Captain.” You called her. Nora answered. “What do you think I should do with my hair? Twists or plaits? Ooh maybe I can do box braids instead.” You shot out ideas to her, hoping she would choose and make your life a bit easier.

“Um… I think you’d look good in–in twists.” Frankly you would look good in anything.

Wait, what?

“Don’t you have to set out the whole day for that? You have classes tomorrow, don’t you?”

“I have one class in the afternoon but it shouldn’t be a problem. I can catch up easily.” You said nonchalantly.

She looked at the clock on the wall to check the time. 5:45 p.m. She cursed how fast this day was going.

Their treats came a few minutes later and you popped open your straw and dug in. Nora did the same, eyebrows raising at the onslaught of very, very sweet chocolate attacking her taste buds.

“See. I told you it was good!” You said, licking a little bit of chocolate off of your lips. You swirled your straw around your glass. “I’m glad you decided to come with me, though.” You said offhandedly.

“Why did you decide to bring me here?” Nora didn’t mean for her voice to sound all nervous. She would roll with the punches.

“Hmm. I already told you earlier that I wanted to thank you for putting up with me.” You took another sip and stuck your tongue out a bit. “But also, and forgive me if I seem rude but, I thought this would relax you.” Nora raised an eyebrow. “You always seem so…pent up. Like a stiff. I just noticed that you might need some sort of release or something, Captain. That’s all.” Nora realized that you were the only one to address her as Captain after practice, and in that moment she started to feel very…different.

Was she uncomfortable?

No, Nora wouldn’t exactly describe it as that.

It was just that the heat creeping up her neck and the sudden realization that you were right and the idea of getting some sort of release, as you put it, was making her feel very, very weird.

It didn’t help that Nora’s gaze went back to your lips and eyes and hands and chest and the realization that you weren’t wearing a bra hit her again and–

Why the hell was she so focused on that? Of all the damn things to focus on? It’s not like the concept of not wearing a bra was foreign to her, she did it from time to time herself but what the fuck was so different when you did it?

Focus on something else, Nora. Focus on something else.

Like the test!

She had a game on a Saturday, and a test on a Monday.

Game on a Saturday, and a test on a Monday.

Game on Saturday, and boy were your eyes cute.

Game on Saturday, test on a Monday.

It’s not like she had a problem with it.

Game on Saturday, test on Monday.

She was fine. Nora was so fine. Nothing to worry about here.

Maybe she did need a release. A time for herself to relax.

Game Saturday, test Monday.

Oh god was she staring at you?

Game, test. Saturday, Monday.

Were you smiling at her? You look so sweet.

Monday. Saturday. Monday. Game. Test. Relax. Release. Relax. Relax. Game. Test. Saturday. Monday. Relax. Release.

Her glass was empty and you were smiling at her and UGH.

Nora stood up, her knees knocking into the booth as she did so.

“Is everything alright, Captain?” You expressed concern over her. Your eyebrows furrowed as your smile went away.

“I gotta go.” Nora managed to choke out. She reached into her back pocket for her wallet as you stared at her with confusion.

“What? Are you sure?” Nora threw $20 on the table and grabbed her bag from the floor.

“Yeah. I gotta… I gotta go…” Nora turned and sped out of the shop, leaving you alone.

She made it back to her apartment and unlocked the door with shaky hands. Abby greeted her from the couch, hair in a low ponytail instead of its usual braid.

“Hey, Nora you–“ Abby stopped herself when she finally looked at her roommate. “What’s wrong?” She turned to her and grabbed her before Nora could sped past the couch. “Come on. Around the couch you go.” Abby pulled Nora by her belt loop around the couch and made her sit down. “What’s up with you. And don’t say you have another test to study for because you’ve already studied enough.” Nora scrunched up her nose and looked away from Abby.

“There’s no such thing as too much studying.”

“Nora…” Abby’s voice was stern.

“Fine, fine… There’s this… this girl and she… she said I was a stiff and treated me to ice cream today and I can’t focus around her and also I can’t stop thinking about her and also–” Nora plopped herself face first into Abby’s lap, groaning loud enough for her roommate to hear.

“Does my Nora have a crush?” Abby teased at her, poking the back of her head. Nora sprung up.

“What! No! Of course not!” Abby didn’t believe her. “I just can’t focus around her, that’s all. And it’s frustrating me.” Nora defended herself, slumping against the couch.

“Hmm. Sounds like a crush to me.” Abby retorted, leaning her head on her hand.

Nora couldn’t have a crush! I mean, when has Nora ever had time to think about crushes? Or dating? Hell, with boys or girls!

“I don’t have time for crushes, Abby.” Nora slumped some more until she sat on the floor.

“You don’t have time for anything, Nora! All you do is work, work, work. And I know we’re in college but that doesn’t mean you have to give yourself to the seeds of capitalism just yet.” Abby kicked Nora in the thigh as a way of telling her to get off the floor.

Nora got up with a pout.

“All I’m saying, Nora,” She started, propping her feet on the coffee table, “is that maybe this could do you some good. You got to enjoy life, and you can’t enjoy it if you’re stuck hunched over a book all day.” Nora rolled her eyes before retreating to her room to take a cold shower.

The next morning, after her 4am run and a long shower, Nora got dressed for the day and sat down at her desk to study. She didn’t have any classes today, her professor for the day sending out an email to cancel class the night before. She opened the giant biology textbook that never left her desk and tried to remember where she had left off last.

I was writing notecards, she remembered as she searched her desk to find them.

Her search was interrupted by the loud ping of her cellphone. Nora chose to ignore it, thinking that it was probably just Abby trying to remind her to eat something. Her phone vibrated again and Nora rolled her eyes with a loud sigh and got up to check it out.

She walked over to her bed and picked the phone off the pillow, squinting her eyes at the sudden light hitting her face as another notification came.

“Hi, Captain!” It was you. You texted her.

Oh my god you texted her!

“I know you said only to use your number in case of emergencies but I guess this would qualify as an emergency because you kinda left in a hurry so!!!”

“Are you ok, Captain? I wanted to check up on you afterwards but I didn’t know whether you’d want me to use this number or not so I didn’t text you but I didn’t know what happened and I was getting nervous so I texted you.” God did you ramble.

“Sorry for rambling.” You sent a few seconds later. You added a crying emoji for effect.

It was then, in that moment, that Nora realized she didn’t know how to respond to you.

Why weren’t her fingers moving?

Why was she just staring at her phone with a stupid face?

Move, dammit! Move!

With a deep breath, Nora let out a big, long groan of, “ABBY!” Said friend was at her door within seconds, hair in a frenzy and protein bottle in her hands, ready to attack someone.

“Nora! Nora what is it? Is someone dying?” With wide eyes, Nora handed Abby her phone, to which Abby lowered her guard and grabbed it out of Nora’s hands. “Nora are you fucking kidding me?” Abby deadpanned after reading the messages, seeing it was only someone expressing concern over her friend and not like…cyberstalking her or some shit.

“I don’t know what to do please help me.” If Abby wasn’t so mad at her she'd tease her for her inexperience and compare her to a lamb. Abby flopped on the bed with a groan and started typing away.

“Wait, wait, wait! What are you doing?” Nora asked frantically as she tried to snatch the phone out of her hands.

“I’m replying. Duh!” She said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“No, but Abby! What are you saying to her?” Nora whined, attempting to grab it again only to fall on Abby’s lap.

“You know, for someone who denies that this is a crush you aren’t really helping your case all that much.” She continued typing, and Nora thought that whatever she was typing would be long and embarrassing and stressful.

“Abby!” Nora dragged out her name as she tried to reach for the phone again. “Come on! I know you’re gonna put something embarrassing!” Nora gave Abby a pout and made no move to move off of her friend.

“I’m not! I swear!”

“Then read it to me!”

“What?”

“Read what you wrote to her!”

“Ugh, you’re so childish.” She said as if she wasn’t the one typing something to Nora’s…Nora’s…well…Nora’s whatever. “Hey, (y/n).” Abby paused. “Such a cute name by the way. Good choice.” She continued. “I’m fine. Thanks for checking up on me. I was wondering if we could meet up later and–” Nora started to protest, reaching up for the phone. Abby held it away from her. “And I could, hey quit that–” Abby smacked her hand away. “I could explain why I’ve been acting so weird lately, if that’s alright with you–Nooooooo.” Abby whined like a child when Nora snatched the phone away and deleted the text message. “All my hard work! Wasted! Oh the inhumanity!” Abby fell on the bed, fake fainting.

“I don’t wanna meet her.” Nora muttered as she stared at the phone with a glare.

“And why not? I told you, this is good!” Nora looked at her in disbelief. “This is good! You need a break, Nora. If you don’t slow down now next time you have time for yourself you’ll be a bag of bones!”

“Not a bag of bones…”

“Yes, a bag of bones! So you are going to take this phone, text this girl back, and you are going to talk to her or by god I will throw your planners away. And I know where you keep them. All of them.” Abby pushed the phone up to Nora’s face.

“Even the Scooby Doo one?”

“Especially the Scooby Doo one. That goes first. Now type.” With a cry and a wail about how hard Abby was making her life, Nora started texting you back, giving the phone to Abby for approval.

“Hey, (y/n).” She started typing. “Abby please don’t make me do this.” Abby didn’t budge. “I’m fine. Thank you for checking up on me. I promise I’m ok and you don’t need to worry about me–”

“Don’t put that. You're invalidating her feelings.” Abby interjected.

“…I’m happy you checked up on me. If you want I’d like to meet–”

“Abby I’m nervous! Please can’t I just go back to studying?” Abby told her no.

“…up with you again. Maybe sometime this afternoon. Or whenever you want to it doesn’t have to be today it could be tomorrow or next week or–”

“You’re stalling.” Abby warned her, already reaching for her Scooby Doo planner hidden under her mattress.

“…Is this afternoon good?” Nora closed her eyes and hit send.

You replied within a minute.

“Sure! How about around 5. I should be done with my hair around then.” You sent a bunch of emojis afterwards and Nora plopped down in the bed with a groan after she agreed.

“See? You see how good things go when you listen to me?” Abby put the almost destroyed planner back in its place and patted Nora on the head. Nora groaned even louder. “Now. I want to know what time you’re going so you can have time to look nice.” Abby added emphasis on that last part. “And I mean it. No sweatpants or oversized jackets. I want you looking nice.” Nora’s face dropped at Abby’s constrictions.

“You’re already making me suffer by going outside but now you’re making me dress nice? You’re killing me, Abby!”

“No, I’m helping you. Now hold on for a second. I need to text the group chat about this historical moment.” Nora's eyes widened as she watched Abby get up and run back to her room before she could stop her.

When 4:30 rolled around, Nora patted herself down nervously and stared at Abby with a confused face.

“Come on, Nora. You look fine.” Nora stared at herself once more, her black jeans, light blue t-shirt and black shoes seeming too…boring for this.

“I-I don’t know, Abby. Maybe I should just cancel and say I got sick. Is it too late to hit myself with something?” Nora held her purse in shaky hands.

“No! You’re doing this. Now come on.” Abby dragged her from out her room and to the living room, where their friends, Manny, Owen, and Mel were hanging out and watching tv.

“You guys! Abby’s forcing me to go outside! Help me!” Nora tried to plead as she dragged her feet on the floor.

“Hmm… I don’t see a problem with that.” Manny spoked, looking at her with amusement clear on his features.

“Yeah, Nora. Owen and I for sure thought you were going to turn into a vampire or something if you stayed inside any longer.” Mel agreed while Owen nodded his head.

“That’s not how vampirism works and you know it!” Nora planted her feet into the ground and groaned. “Owen! Hide me! Help me! Save me!” Nora pleaded as Abby pushed her along to the door.

“Sorry, Nora. My expertise is animals not humans.” He said with a shrug and put his head on Mel’s shoulder.

“Traitors! Traitors! All of you!” Abby finally got her to the door and pushed her out with a huff.

“You be back no earlier than 6. Got it?” Abby ordered. Before Nora, could protest, Abby interrupted her. “If you wanna save the Scooby Doo planner you better start walking.” Nora closed her mouth and glared at her before calling her a muscle head and walking away. She heard the chorus of bye’s and have fun’s as she walked down the hall. You both had agreed to meet up at the campus park, and as Nora walked up, she saw you sitting on the bench with a book in your hands. Nora recognized it as Pride and Prejudice, something Abby had read a thousand times.

You looked up and spotted her. With a smile, you said, “Hi, Captain!” You placed the book beside you and waved at her. You had twists in your hair, and it went down to just below your shoulders.

“Hey, (Y/n).” Nora sat down next to you and placed her hands in her lap.

“I’m glad you decided to meet up! I was really worried about you yesterday.” You tried to keep the smile on your face despite the concern present.

Nora’s face burned as she rubbed the back of her neck.

“Yeah, um, sorry about that I…um…” Nora couldn’t really explain herself in that moment.

“No need to explain yourself, Captain. I’m just glad you’re ok.” Your smile never faltered and Nora decided to smile back.

“But-But thank you! For, um, taking me to the ice cream place yesterday. I really appreciate it.” Nora didn’t know why she was stuttering so much. If the group were here they’d be laughing at her.

“No problem. I like going there a lot. Not just for the treats but…it’s calming. Gives me time to get away.” Your phone buzzed and you checked it with a frown.

“Is everything alright?” Nora felt kinda sad when your attention wasn’t on her.

“Yeah. It’s just my stupid ex.” EX? Ex as in ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend? Ex-partner? Oh my god what was Nora thinking? She didn’t have time for crushes! Let alone any time for exes or dating of feelings or–

“Hey, Captain.” Nora perked up.

“Y-Yeah?” She could run. Nora could run and hide and go back to the apartment Scooby Doo planner be DAMNED.

“You remember when I told you about getting caught up in the little things?” Nora remembered, yes. “This is one of those little things. Just relaxing in the park, or going to the ice cream parlor, or staying after practice with you.”

Wait, what? Nora must’ve misheard.

“I could never share those little things with anybody else. Not even a person I had thought I liked. But I can with you.” You turned to her with a smile, moving a stray twist from out of your face. “I’m glad I was able to show you the things that relax me. Hopefully, Captain, they can relax you too.”

“Nora.” She blurted out.

“Hmm?” You titled you head to the side.

“You can call me Nora. I-I don’t mind.” You smiled at her, and Nora started to feel her heart burst in her chest.

“Ok…Nora.” Oh.

Oh.

Nora liked you.

Holy shit. She liked you.

“I-I’m glad you thought about me so much.” Nora played with her fingers as she spoke.

“Well, Nora. How about we go see a movie? I hear there’s this new mystery movie that’s so intense that people lost their senses when they left the theater!”

Nora laughed at your giddiness.

“Sure. I’d like that.” You stood up and grabbed your book to place it in your bag. You held out your hand to Nora and she took it, although a bit hesitantly.

“Cool. Let’s go, then.”

Maybe, just maybe, Nora could learn how to handle a crush this time around.

#the last of us part 2 #Nora x reader #Nora Harris #Nora Harris x reader #black reader #tlou2 nora #Nora Harris DESERVED BETTER BLACK GIRLS RISE #This is for the black girls and gays ONLY #the last of us part ii #tlou fanfic #tlou2 #tlou2 fanfic #Abby Anderson #tlou #fluff #gay sap Nora #gaydies let’s GO #Black reader #Nora’s stressed and gay and stressed about that

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jilliancares · 4 years ago

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hi so im setting up my uni schedule for the new semester and im wondering how you manage college, writing, having a job and having a social life? my uni recommends 12 hours per class per week which works out to 8 hours 6 days a week. It sounds reasonable but I need 9+ hours sleep and between self care stuff, I can't seem to find any free time to write and it's stressing me out. Anyway im rambling, any tips??

HMMM. it can definitely be stressful to manage everything, i get you!!! recently i’ve been balancing classes, homework, a patreon daily update fic, and my new job as the leader of our newspaper 😔✊ so sometimes i have to sacrifice certain things to do other things -- i’ve been playing this spider-man video game with my friend next door but i keep having to cancel plans to play because of other obligations :// i think the main thing is finding a balance and creating time/prioritizing certain things!! recently, i’ve been trying to write as soon as i have free time in a day so that i can have Actual free time once i’ve finished all my classes/homework. so sometimes i wake up earlier than i need to or write in the few minutes in between my classes

it can be a little stressful, but i think everything will fall into place after you actually start your new schedule!! you’ll get used to your classes and your job and your workload in general and figure out when the best times to write will be!!

#rainbowchristy

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tangerinegod · 4 years ago

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Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿

hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!

i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!

the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you!

also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!

another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D.

if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job!

these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:

- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?

I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy!

- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?

kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work.

- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?

100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!

- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?

i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer..

i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.

- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?

i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus!

sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!

#anon #ask #long post #im so so sorry this is like long as shit #ill literally tell you guys everything though art school should not feel like a mystery esp if ur planning to go into it!#Anonymous

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jackietaylorsghost · 5 years ago

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very Important adam/ronan things to take away from the cdth sampler:

“like the other lynch brothers, he was a regular churchgoer, but most people assumed he played for the other team.” i am SCREAMING. top tier gay joke. well timed.

everyone: ronan’s eyes aren’t pretty. adam: mhmm e y e l a s h e s

much to say about the revelation that ronan is partly at the barns to keep his dreams hidden and in check, and how much he relates an inability to change and be like everyone else to having to stay there. almost like he’s stuck huh! i’ve been saying!!

of note that words used to describe ronan’s existence are BORED and MALINGERED.

fingers crossed he finds some balance between his dreams and his wants/needs that allows him to leave the barns and grow but after the Great Crab Disaster I’M WORRIED.

fire imagery EVERYWHERE. i’m WORRIED again.

“there are stains that spread faster than you drive. if you drive, it’ll take fourteen years to get there. seventeen. forty. one hundred. we’ll be driving to your funeral by the end.” good to know ronan is still the most DRAMATIC boy in the whole of virginia. absolutely no chill.

dont like the possible foreshadowing of that driving to your funeral by the end, though. must leave lynches alone!

“it’s very safe” asjkajjka DECLAN PLEASE

“ronan kicked one of the volvo’s tires” asjkajjka RONAN PLEASE.

ronan trying to act nonchalant by cramming chocolate covered peanuts into his mouth and choking a little is Peak Disaster Gay.

matthew’s music must be awful if ronan and declan are in agreement over it, must have playlist.

ronan who lives to pretend he doesn’t care wondering if his brothers didn’t say anything about his moving because it didn’t make a difference to them is huhhh. don’t like it, take it away pls.

i’m sorry, ENTIRELY WRAPPED UP IN! ENTIRELY!

entirely

wrapped

shut up!!!! shut upppppp!

“is there any version of you that could come with me to cambridge?” tbh nothing would have readied me for this. adam i-can-do-everything-alone asking ronan if he could go with him. so much growth, too much pride, nowhere to put it, send help.

the fact that ronan doesn’t stay in cambridge when he visits adam because of plausible deniability, that if he doesn’t try there’s no evidence he can’t make it there. rip.

ronan! missed! him! like! a! lung!

dramatic again, but entirely relatable bc damn, same ronan, same.

a) ronan thinking about how his heartbeat is the same as everyone else’s so he wasn’t that different and b) JUST LIKE ADAM’S HEART WHEN HIS HEAD WAS RESTING ON HIS HEAD = much too much to think about. need to lie down for a bit.

he could move to follow the guy he loved!! we all knew it was love, we’ve always known it was love, but! the words. the words!!!!! brb sobbing.

i have only had jordan for a day and a half but if anything happened to her i would kill everyone in this room and then myself. 11/10 would marry.

art forgery plot confirmed!

THIS WAS HOW IT HAD BEGUN

bitch fkajdkajksja GIVE ME A WARNING.

still can’t compose myself RE the info that ronan saw adam and immediately sent a desperate prayer up to god

will the word please ever be the same again? definitely not!

adam’s arms adam’s hands his lovely! boyish! hands!

the description of his expressions with all its contradictions and multitudes is just my favourite thing ever. it encapsulates everything i love about adam fucking parrish.

and the fact that ronan instantly recognised all those multitudes in him. there was always a level of understanding ronan had for adam throughout trc that no one else did and this tells us he had that before he even met him, he just... recognised something in him i just... ;______;

please

ronan knowing all the harvard stats because he was the person adam could crow to, how he takes on that adam that is still full of contradictions and multitudes, how he finds it hard but he absorbs all the facts and all of adam’s anxieties, even in the face of his own anxieties about adam leaving and falling in love with the shining, educated people that ronan thinks are better than him. that absolute, unwavering support 😭😭😭

tbh there’s a whole ass lot to unpack in this section so imma try and do it briefly (she says!)

ronan lynch is a romantic cdth confirmed:

he could have texted adam but he liked the soft surprise of it

over the past few days ronan had played his reunion with adam over in his head MANY TIMES

adam i love you but that outfit sounds awful. you are a student, it’s a friday night, put some sweats on and stuff some cheetos in your mouth.

the sweet nervousness of their reunion, how they walk past each other and both seem so uncertain. they’re a year into dating and the still get nervous and unsure after a few weeks apart and it’s CUTE and definitely speaks to their excitement/anticipation levels.

THE WATCH. big time softness.

they hugged hard ;_____;

im just so relieved that they’re allowed to touch each other and be intimate and aren’t consigned to the ‘boys in love aren’t like that boring boring’ corner.

the way ronan thinks about how adam fits as he remembered. huh. you’re really gonna do this to me.

his hand still pressed against the back of ronan’s skull the way it ALWAYS did when they hugged.

you smell like home. you smell like home!!!!!! brb ive gone absolutely fucking feral.

i both want to play repo because it sounds fun and don’t want to because it sounds complicated and i fucking hate instructions. much confusion.

adam pressing his shoe hard against ronan’s and then his leg and then breathing in ronan’s ear I AM HOWLING. ronan’s nerve endings being made a marvel of I AM SOBBING. it’s very important that m/m ships are afforded the same level of explicit attraction as m/f (and i don’t mean explicit as in nsfw, i mean as in obvious)

no offence because i love them but all of adam’s friends sound Extra™

“to the outside eye, ronan lynch was a loser” pls ronan, you are giving me an ulcer.

scary spice i asjkjdkjskdjak

queer crying club! i stan!!

also adam saying in the epilogue of trk that he wanted to save all the adam’s hidden in plain view and then going to college and scooping up all the criers and giving them something to do is far too much to handle.

don’t think about that and the time he thought about how he used to spend his nights crying on the trailer steps and wondering why he bothered until gansey came along and offered him friendship. dont think about how he’s essentially paying that forward DON’T THINK ABOUT IT.

hand holding, arms around each other, hip to hip walking, can’t wait anymore kissing, I MISSED YOU. love that for me!

but also the fact that adam reaches down for ronan’s hand and its so natural. ronan’s hand is there so he just. takes it.

hearing ronan’s thoughts on what happened with robert at last is A Lot. the way it’s still happening, always happening, kept fresh and savage shows how affected ronan was by it all and still is and i think its so important that he’s not just. angry and hot headed. there’s more to it than that. its painful, it makes him feel sick, its unending and it really speaks to how much adam means to him.

adam thinks he has no one BITCH YOU’VE GOT ALL OF US.

and ronan.

but. how he feels like he has nothing still. the way his voice hitches on ‘because’ because it’s all still so painful. i wanna wrap him up. i wanna take everything that hurts away. i wanna tell him he’s so loved. guess i’ll just have to sit back and watch him work his way through it all I GUESS. no but i am looking forward to his growth in this trilogy, especially considering how much he’s grown already. adam parrish invented character growth lets 👏 be 👏 real 👏

it had never been a fight between them/it was a fight between adam and himself, between adam and the world/for ronan it was a fight between truth and compromise, between the black and white he saw and the reality everyone else experienced. i LOVE this. it so well encapsulates them. and it’s so important that they can realise their differing world views and their complexities and meet in the middle somewhere.

“ronan put his lips on adam’s deaf ear, and he hated adam’s father” FUCK ME UP. my absolute favourite bit 103930%. absolute incoherent mess over here. not! okay! see other post for more coherency because i only had it for 5.7 minutes.

frowning, guarded, crumpled adam who i’ll literally. never be over in all of my life. 38983/10 will love him until the end of time.

i want it too much. !!!!!! going feral again over here. WHAT DO YOU WANT ADAM? I WANT IT TOO MUCH. definitely will never shut up about this.

scared adam is going to be a visionary so pretending chapter 6 doesn’t exist.

LINDENMERE ;________;

i love it already

i CANNOT believe that ronan is being dream invaded and challenged and he’s over here like hmm nice bike ELEGANT and ROUGH and READY like ADAM asjkasj please ronan you are so embarrassing!!

also. ronan thinks adam is elegant and rough and ready so! there’s that!

i literally. cannot. cope with the HILARITY of chapter 8. the whole thing is a complete and utter DISASTER. it’s absolutely gone off in adam’s room after all his work at constructing a well put together boy. ronan comes for a night and everything goes BONKERS. amazing.

(really worried about what this means RE ronan being able to exit the barns and grow and change and not be bored and not feel like a loser so we’re focusing on the hilarious disaster of it all.)

p.s. adam sleeping slotted between ronan and the wall OKAY. THIS IS FINE!

p.p.s. adam’s bed hair is WILD.

p.p.p.s i have missed adam and ronan so so so so so much and im an emotional fucking wreck

#call down the hawk #ronan lynch #adam parrish #pynch #dreamer trilogy #cdth spoilers #long post #sorry so much to say we were so well fed so many thoughts #;_____;#lou.txt

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gg-astrology · 5 years ago

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Can you tell us 10 things about you? and about ur friends irl? How u met them/ how long u know them/ what u like to do with them? This is gonna sound nosy but how's ur love life hdjsks LISTEN YOU'RE LIKE MY DREAM BEST FRIEND AND I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU AND ACT LIKE WE'RE TOTES HOMIES OKAY IM A VIRGO SUN PISCES MOON smh a girl is cURIOUS AND (platonically) IN LOVE WITH YOU 😖❤❤❤❤

Hey there!! 💕��❤️ Oh wow!!!! 💕💓❤️💕💓❤️ Don’t worry this is fine!! I’m actually -- like, really happy and giddily flustered you’d want to get to know me!? 💕💓❤️ I’m really flattered and really grateful/touched aaaaaaa only virgo/pisces deserve rights, my current wife is also a virgo/pisces this is obviously some kind of synastry destiny (jk *wink wonk?*)!! 💕💓❤️thank you for caring about me!!! 💕💓❤️💕💓❤️💕💓❤️💕💓❤️

Yeah sure!! 💕💓❤️I can tell you more things about me!! 💕💓❤️

Disclaimer? I think it’s good for the audience to know where I’m coming from and who I am? I just think transparency/knowing who you’re talking to is important because knowing who I am, can also help you and me see where my flaws are and where I may be coming from! 💕💓❤️ Or what I provide, but where I might miss my mark somewhere, y know? 💕💓❤️ Not to say you have to judge me, I just don’t see the point in not just being who I am and saying yeah I can see where I took the L there. It’s just-- better? for future endeavors as well? So here we are?

More about me? In sections?

10 things about me?

I’ll start with this since it’s the shortest!

This may come off as totally random but I do better in colder climate than hotter ones -- even though I currently live in a tropical island

I used to live in the US!

I actually have a designated place where I go to sit, open up my laptop and answer asks from tumblr. I sit outside my little patio and stare out at my garden, and then answer qs from here!

This means I’m always subjected to the Wild Life coming at me unexpectedly sometimes, but my cat also visits me at my table! So it balances out!

My favourite drink is milk but I like plant-based ones, or rice milk? Or the lactose free ones! They’re delicious!

Cherries are my favourite snacks but I usually get them once every 3 months -- so the result is I don’t tend to snack often. This is by design of me trying to Not Snack + using my pickiness to weaponize against myself and my eating habits.

To unwind I watch cat/animal videos on youtube before I go to sleep - it’s not very effective because I have to keep my eyes open to see, plus I always end up making cooing noises at the screen -- so I’m not sure when if it’s actually making me sleepy or not. But it’s working so far so I’m continuing to do it.

I have very specific knowledge of certain things in very acute details + link/resources of further studies on the topic, but otherwise I have 0.5 braincells most of the time, just a lot of Forbidden Knowledge.

I have a folder of cursed memes and that’s all you need to know about my sense of humour I think?

Love life?

I am currently single! 💕💓❤️ Gf application is always open! 💕💓❤️ However, I’d like everyone of you to know I’m a 95 liner and I will not accept applications from those born after 98′ 💕💓❤️

Although I’m bi + had ex-bf before... I am (as of right now) on the fence about men personally in my personal life (disclaimer) because I’ve got a week of quarantine, thus I haven’t been doing the do and can think clearly for once. I am contemplating. Men. And the necessity in life. Y know?

Although my love life is free!! I am not excused from the occasional panic of having a crush (annually). I’m lucky enough to go through it just once every year, but every time it happens I am an absolutely clown + always in turmoil. It’s what happens when you’re a sag venus who can’t control your p***y brain. Luckily, my crush just have to insult me or make me explain things from my past and then I’d be too traumatize to crush on them again. It’s quite effective, and works out best for all of us! 💕💓❤️

I’ll refrain from talking about my ex because I know I have a habit of recounting the good and being mushy. Even if we ended it on rocky terms. So! I’ll save everyone from that. 💕💓❤️

Friends (expanded, clarifications?)

The ones I mention on the blog are usually

taurus/taurus,

cancer/cancer,

leo/libra,

leo/cap (x2),

virgo/sag,

libra/aries (x2),

scorpio/sag,

scorpio/cap,

sag/taurus,

pisces/scorpio,

pisces/aqua,

Oof that’s alot.. This might be better to outline in a timeline format... so leo/libra, scorpio/sag, libra/aries and partially virgo/sag are whom I grew up for the majority of my childhood-teenage life! 💕💓❤️

They obviously made a very big impact on me! 💕💓❤️ They’re with me through thick/thin, leo/libra (sag rising) is the extrovert of the bunch. He’s one of my best friends, close guy friend, most of the time I too find him a little exasperating because he’s.. well its his problem so nevermind, but he’s also very endearing! 💕💓❤️ If it wasn’t for him-- well, there’s also another leo I thought was very endearing in a little brother kind of way. So leos to me have a very positive influence in my life, they’re very cute especially when they ask for your attention. I think they are like puppies/kitties when they are needy, and their blatant way of just being themselves always makes me feel refreshed + I admire them for it. In the end, I’m totally heart-eyes endeared for Leos! 💕💓❤️

Scorpio/sag is also my best friend! 💕💓❤️ She’s a taurus rising, and she’s so sweet, kind, chatty and very open/friendly to people! 💕💓❤️ Her, my cousin (who’s also a scorpio but a scorpio/pisces), and quite a few of my other best friends who are scorpios - actually made me realize they’re not like what they’re usually describe as. Maybe that’s just me? But I think they’re very sweet and comforting to be around, not to mention they’re quite supportive and willing to listen when you’re having a tough time with something!! 💕💓❤️The pillar of support and one of the few rare people I don’t mind interacting with (actually crave interacting with them) because of just how chill they are, I wish more people recognize that in a scorpio! 💕💓❤️

Libra/Aries is one of my longest childhood friend, probably from birth! 💕💓❤️ He’s a supportive big brother type figure. But he can be very silly and he doesn’t hold himself so seriously most of the time! 💕💓❤️ Whilst he’s very understanding and quite nosy with others, he tries to be subtle/sleek but he isn’t! I think he’s very endearing when he wants to be, and he deserves someone who loves him lots as well 💕💓❤️ We reunited for the first time in 6 years the other day? And I think we both ended up crying a little and holding hands because we miss each other alot! 💕💓❤️ It was very nice, I think he’s much more emotional (just suppressed) than what people realize! 💕💓❤️ He’s very caring though - like willing to talk you through your problems and make sure you’re taken care of, back on your feet, but also willing to smile scarily at people who’ve hurt you and actually take them to court/yell at them for you. I think its very sweet! 💕💓❤️

Virgo/Sag is someone I hung out with for a short period of time, but kept in contact with periodically throughout my life because we ended up going through similar majors/path in life! 💕💓❤️ She’s someone who’s very caring, wants to take care of you, when she’s endeared by you she makes sure to dote on you often! 💕💓❤️ Actually, she’s born a day after Namjoon I think? But that’s not the point, the thing is - she’s my virgo/sag and when she’s not by my virgo/sag she’s super cool and I can see that many of our friend respects her/think she’s very mature + she’s the Shit! 💕💓❤️ I really admire her too and I think she’s super cool, but more than that, I love how caring and tender she is. She’s the best 💕💓❤️

These are the people I grew up with, and then I went to college and met/lived with Scorpio/Cap + Pisces/Scorpio+Aqua.

Scorpio/Cap and I actually hit it off since the first day? We were in orientation, and we’re both talkative I guess! But in similar ways. He appreciates my bluntness/sense of humour and I like that he’s sarcastic and the only one engaging enough to be around/paying attention to what’s happening. We went to a house party together and then had 1 class together the semester. After that, me and him decided we’d live together off campus (along with our other friend who fell through, I think he’s a Leo?) - whilst we lived together we share majors in the same division, on holidays or at night after class, we’d grab dinner together + walk there, or we’d eat at home and binge watch a marathon he’d pick together. 💕💓❤️ It’s really fun! 💕💓❤️

Both of us like cooking, so he’d make dishes/drinks and I’d do that and we’d coerced each other to hang out in the living space together. Basically, we’re there to force each other to socialize/hang out with people and also encourage each other. It’s very fun! But we also had moments where we’d buy each other dinner/go to art galleries/exhibit together. There’s more serious too of course, like talking about our problems or worrying about stuff. But I think I found someone who looks out for me/I can look out for him, be confidants for each other and not be embarrassed with each other. Besides this, he also found my p0rn collection and suddenly mentioned it when we’re on campus so now I can never unfriend him because he has blackmail material on me. I’m forced to be his friends forever now.

Pisces/Cap and Pisces/Aqua are my roommates after Scorpio/Cap - actually, Pisces/cap invited me to live with them when I was finding a place, it was very fortunate! 💕💓❤️ We’re all close friends because we live in the same hall during first year, plus me and Pisces/cap (and a Gemini friend) would get drunk + go to parties together so!! This is very convenient! 💕💓❤️

Actually.. Pisces/cap, me and Gemini friend.. I went with Gemini friend to buy his apartment with him (along with his friends, I’m good friends with them too) and Pisces/cap went with him to buy furnitures lmao! 💕💓❤️ And then me and Pisces/cap moved in together, although I didn’t room with them. I roomed with Pisces/Aqua whom till this date is my favourite roommate I’ve ever lived with! 💕💓❤️

It’s a little messy with Pisces/Cap but not in a? bad way? at all? Like we’re close friends who still talk often, but they did confess once over the holidays, and I turned them down (that was when I was about to move in) - we did make out along with pisces/aqua but like.. that’s... I guess that’s normal for college y know? We did a couple projects together for their class, like a comic about me and gemini friend, poems, photography, I drew them something. And I think they did have something with Gemini friend as well but! Gemini friend moved away on the last year so it never went anywhere there.

But these are all good memories we had together and it’s not like-- bad at all, I don’t ever think badly at them for it because it was honest to them/for them, it was their emotions and tenderness from the heart? I can’t ever look down on anyone for that or judge them for being true to themselves, I actually think they’re very brave to be able to heal themselves and process things especially involving emotions like that. I also think these are all precious and honest memories, being friends with them definitely helped me grow my EQ by so much. Without them, I’d be very close-minded today! 💕💓❤️

Pisces/aqua is my roommate for a long time, and I love them to bits too! 💕💓❤️ They have two cats, both I love so so much and would sacrifice getting up for very often! 💕💓❤️ More than that, Pisces/aqua is so smart and able to pick things up immediately! It’s honestly very admirable, how they pierce things together. Whether it’s tarot or astrology, they’re the one who got me into this actually? 💕💓❤️ It was their interest before it became mine through proxy or maybe osmosis lmao, but they’re quite judgey and sometimes have a ? idk, superiority complex/elitist attitude towards stuff sometimes? So I never really talked about it much with them because it can get really frustrating sometimes 💕💓❤️ I do love them lots though, I can be ignorant of a lot of things and really slow on the uptake, but they’re very nice and kind and patient with me - honestly they’re as patient as a saint sometimes with me. And I’m really really thankful to them for it! 💕💓❤️ They’re getting married this year to a Scorpio! 💕💓❤️

Taurus/taurus and Cancer/cancer are my college best friends. Actually we hang out outside of class too! 💕💓❤️ I celebrated cancer/cancer’s birthday with them and their friends/roommates and it’s really fun. Heres why it’s -- like, momentous. It’s because my college classmates are more like colleagues or co-workers, so we don’t usually have that kind of camaraderie outside of first year. Plus, we’re all kind of working or busy with our private life outside of class - so it’s hard to reconvene that with who you know in classrooms.

They like their private life separated from the college one, which is what I prefer as well. I really adore them though, since we have a major that usually makes us get little to no sleep and have to stay at school at night-till morning most nights (for programs on the computer or printing facilities, rip) -- they’re the one who would either stay up with me, working together at the same table and we can ask each other for fresh eyes on our work. Or they’d motivate me to go home and not be stupid to stay at school. Or they’d drive me home so they know I get back safely/on time. It’s just -- I adore them so much they’re very very good! 💕💓❤️

Taurus/Taurus is also a college best friend whom I befriended later on in the years, they’re really sweet! 💕💓❤️ We have more of a friendship where we spend time outside together, walking in the city trying out a new cake store or just going back to their place to play games or talk about what else we have going on in our lives. They’re really busy!! Since they’re involved in church activities, they travel to another town an hour away every sunday - their dedication to their work, school and church (AND spending time with their fiance’s family + fiance) is amazing! 💕💓❤️ They also got me my first job at the firm they’re working in, in our last years - I made sure they’re not too tired and get their work done on time so they don’t rush their finished project. Or give better advice if the teacher is making them fume. I really like them lots too, we had alot of fun together AND they’re a foodie! 💕💓❤️

There’s another Libra/Aries whom I knew from college, while I was still living with Scorpio/Cap - I was in another town/not the same town as the Pisces back then. But Libra/Aries was close and she’d come by often! We’d travel the city together, lay on the lawn, go to parks together or exhibit. They’re very proactive and we spend a lot of time talking about work and projects, personal interests, when we watch movies together - we’d spend time sitting in cafes after watching them to talk for hours/until closing about the movie ( ‘we have alot to unpack’) -- they’re a lot of fun to talk to because they’re just as intense about stuff! 💕💓❤️ And their interest is genuine, give good hugs, a little too loud for our cats but she means well! 💕💓❤️

This is brief recount of everyone, mostly focusing on activities we did together but knowing them as people obviously made a big impression on me! 💕💓❤️

Leo/Caps are people I met since I finished college/working now, they’re my two admins on the blog actually! 💕💓❤️So internet friends, but I really click with and they’re soothing + fun to be around when I’m home/anywhere! 💕💓❤️

Sag/Taurus is also another internet friend, I’ve known her for a year now? But man, every conversation is an adventure and she’s so fun to be around! 💕💓❤️ Also very sweet and an extremely kind person, in a fire sign kind of way. Which means a lot of gawking from me and very loud laughs. But yes! 💕💓❤️ Very good people! 💕💓❤️

I do have friends from work... but well we’re not close enough for me to actually consider them good friends/talk about them personally? They’re nice! But I have yet to form a more positive opinion about them - it’s positive and negative, so I’ll see who survives and come through as a person I’d like to hang out with outside of work. 💕💓❤️

To Virgo/Pisces anon:

Here’s my best friend application do I make the cut please reply 💕💓❤️

#about me #phew this took a while to answer!#virgo/pisces anon #are we best friends now pls tell me #anon #asks

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sovonight · 5 years ago

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hi! ive been looking thru ur blog recently because im trying to get into digital painting and im using ur blog as reference for how to do clothing folds, etc. i noticed u had a bunch of posts ab grad school and college and stuff & i was wondering what ur major is? im a hs junior rn and im stressing big time ab majors, i was wondering if you’ve found any art/stem balance or if u have any tips?? u don’t have to answer is u don’t want, i was just thinking haha

yeah sure! in undergrad i was a mechanical engineering major. i was a full time student who didn’t work, so any time outside of classes & hw was time i could use to draw. the first year’s always pretty hard no matter what– adjusting to college and all– but i got used to managing my classes and could keep my gpa up while still doing art on the side. i did most of my gravity falls fanart while in college, so you can probably see how much art i was able to keep up, but big projects like the dating sim and my ford zine were so time consuming that they were really only possible after i left.

but time’s not the only factor– keeping myself physically able to draw was really important too, and was one thing i kind of failed at. i regularly want to draw so i’d draw allll the time, but combine that with taking notes every day, writing up 4 homework assignments every week, and taking 4-6 midterms and 4 finals every quarter, and do that for 4 years, and my wrist was weak. after i graduated i still had to do research over the summer bc i got into grad school, and at that point my wrist just couldn’t take it anymore, it was useless for weeks. i really shouldn’t have used it again and just let it heal, but i had classes again so i had to put it back through the wringer, and then after i left grad school (i quit within a year after i started), my wrist was close to useless again, for months that time. i have a strong feeling that it’s because i never paced myself or did stretches in all the time i was in school. i know every artist says to do those hand/wrist stretches… but do those stretches! stretch, exercise, and/or give your drawing hand frequent long breaks. running a marathon’s better than doing a sprint.

oh but if you’re aiming for a job in stem, try not to neglect college stuff in favor of art, like i unfortunately did! my goal was to have engineering as a day job to fund art on the side, so i really should’ve put more time into engineering and gotten all the engineering experience i could’ve while i was still a student, but bc i liked keeping my time free for art i never did any internships or anything. i should’ve taken my chance to do internships, work with professors, join engineering clubs/groups, and all that good stuff, bc once you leave college and start looking for a job, you’re at a disadvantage if you don’t have any previous experience.

overall though don’t overwhelm yourself if you can’t make the balance work! of the two halves, art’s the one that doesn’t require formal schooling, so i feel like if it happens to fall to the side while you’re in college, that’s fine, y’know? college is just 4+ short years– art’s still gonna be there for you when you’re done.

#sovo answers #i'm assuming you're thinking abt majoring in stem so my answer follows from that #i might've gone on some tangents so if i missed/didn't totally answer the question just lemme know!#art tips

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dolphin-enthusiast · 4 years ago

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my beloved morgy, good evening!! it's been a little bit, no? schoolwork has been running rampant and health issues are racking up, so i have unfortunately been away for a bit, not to mention i'll have to look for work soon due to financial issues,, life is quite hectic now! no matter what though, i always look forward to coming back here, talking to you has become one of my favorite things in the world!! 💕💌💫 (1/9)

"and so much has happened now, hm? with that in mind, please know that what i'm about to say isn't just mere kindness, and that i actually believe it wholeheartedly,, i think you are absolutely stunning!!! of course i got the notification during algebra of all classes,, but oh my goodness darling!!!! i'm so happy you somehow gained enough confidence to do that!! (2/9)

i was paranoid after my initial face reveal, but after getting so many nice responses before, i knew it would go just as smoothly for you 💓 ahhhh i just can't get over it at all, you're so pretty!!! i smiled a lot, and then my professor must've noticed, because he said "abby... abby... ABBY! are you ok?? you're face is so red, do you have a fever???" (3/9)

of course i dismissed it, but then to make matters worse, quinn called me during class about it as you saw already,, i swear, she just loves to torture me hm? 😖😖 but really, you are gorgeous, don't let anyone tell you otherwise, ok?? 💘 oh, and i must thank everyone for being so patient and kind during my absence!! your well wishes mean a lot to me! most people tend to get very frustrated with me, so i'm beyond glad that i can get a break from that type of treatment!! (4/9̶ 10)

it's been very difficult so far trying to balance school and my own health, so i've been extremely occupied as of late,, but when things settle down and i figure things out, i should be more active again! (it's what i hope for! writing you and seeing everyone is one of the things i actually enjoy anyway!!! 🌠) and all of those picrews and that drawing?? lovely as always!! (5/10)

aside from stressful school days and other events, today, quinn and our friend chloe surprised me by showing up to my house after school and whisking me off to this lovely asian market in the city! it was unusually cold, so quinn being the overly protective person they are, forced me to take their coat,, ahhh i felt so bad, the breeze was so chilly!! but sadly, the north really does get cold when the fall starts to hit hehe (6/10)

we took the metro over and messed around in our seats a bit,, it was nice and quiet for once! we ended up having a great time, getting dinner, buying lots of strange snacks, and eating different cakes at this quaint café, it was such a nice break from everything not-so-good that has been happening lately!! ✨ (7/10)

and luckily, i get to actually have a good time this weekend!!! my older brother is coming home to visit! despite college being so busy for him, he told me that he still checks in here at the end of every week haha, i'm surprised he even manages to do that with his workload 😖 he told me we're gonna go and get lunch together, so i'm really excited for that,, i miss him lots! ❤ (8/10)

so much has happened that i can't even keep track of it,, there's so much to talk about, it's crazy! i wish school could lighten up a bit so i could be here more, after all, i do truly enjoy my time here!! but i'm overjoyed that i get to return tonight despite my heavy workload,, it's always a rare pleasure to be able to talk to you dolcezza!!! hopefully i can be back soon by friday or so,, i'll be aiming for it 💗 (9/10

thank you guys for all of the support throughout these chaotic months, i never expected to meet such an amazing person and become so loved by a bunch of people i never met- you've all gone beyond my wildest expectations with how unbelievably kind you are to me! as always thank you, i love you all beyond words 💕 with love from the moon & back, your waifu xoxo 💖💖💖 ps: morgy you really do know how to pull at my heartstrings!! i better see no more of you doubting yourself ever again 😘 (10/10)"

THE LEGEND HAS R E T U R N E T H ONCE MORE 😳🤚✨ honestly darling ur reaction was quite literally priceless and Quinn only made this entire thing better ngl jdhdhwhd i almost cant believe me doing some dumb face reveal caused it either but....i aint complaining at all quite the contrary acc👁️👁️

I'd still insist ur bein way too kind but i'll thank u anyway for za compliments (i can only say the same regarding u dear👁️✨) dbqhshxkaha also a trip to za asian market sounds lit ngl me and the squad always go to this k mart thats on the way to our school and they have banging foods 😩✊

Now i can 100% relate to everything u said esp the school part....im exhausted outta my mind (in fact i deadass fell asleep while on zoom today during class djsbs) bc i still lowkey cant fall asleep in time at night and i have to get up early everyday so its like💀💀💀💀 i mostly catch up on schleep in the afternoon but its still a wack schedule and i barely have time to do other stuff let alone write which bothers me alot ngl....as for urself im glad u got to have some quality time w ur mates and also that ur legend of a bro is finally visiting (za clown army e a a g er l y awaiting his return)

I agree also that things have been movin fast like h e l l its already almost october tf🗿🗿 and i also hope ur fine health wise too bc ik all too well how school and an erratic schedule can throw ur entire body off and worsen ur immune system n all of dat shiz💀

Either way im glad u popped in again (as always my inbox been bombarded with questions regarding ur whereabouts djshdjdk) and may we speak of shows and anime again bc a bitch had finished bsd yesterday and im l i v i n😳😳😳

#the confessional #guess i'll just have to continue snatchin ur wig w my yoonbum/levi lookin ass🤩🤩

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evangclines-blog1 · 5 years ago

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what if we ...... pretended this was a good intro ..... aha just kidding ..... unless ? i was just gonna link to all my stuff but ... ur girl wrote a lot and i don’t wanna be cruel and force u all to read everything JDBWBDJBWJ so here we go !! <3

( VENUS, PARK SOOYOUNG, CIS FEMALE, SHE /HER ) guess what, EVANGELINE RHEE has just landed in cannes with their private jet. they are a TWENTY-TWO year old socialite, who spends much of their time & money UPDATING THEIR SKINCARE ROUTINE. i think their family is in the ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY and their net worth is around 10B USD.

first things first ... i’m gonna drop some links in case u want to read everything i wrote at 6 am the day the submit closed bc im stoopid like that <3

here u can find her full bio, stats, extended stats, and hcs ! the hcs are definitely the most fun to read so i recommend going to that page hehe

into the summary we go !

BACKSTORY: suicide mention tw

eva’s dad is a movie producer and her mom was the beautiful woman he met at a train station <3 her parents had a very whirlwind romance, very love at first sight, very passionate and intense type of relationship literally everything you see in hollywood ? they had that ! they got married after only a year of knowing each other and had eva soon after

thats when things got not-so-picturesque /: after having eva, her mom entered a pretty dark depression. eva’s dad ( who had been aware of his wife’s mental health and even warned by her family against doing anything crazy like getting married and having a whole baby so fast ) was kinda in denial about everything. eva’s mom still had her good days, but the bad days were really bad & when eva was only two years old her mom had an accident & passed away

so while eva’s dad was grieving, he sent little eva to new york city to go live with her grandma !! eva adored her grandmother more than anyone else. she was a retired jazz singer, and a lot of what they did together was sit around and listen to old records <3 eva lived with her until she was five years old & that’s pretty much the only childhood she can remember since her mom died when she was so young !!

when her dad brings eva back to france, he’s doing a lot better. he’s back to producing movies and throwing parties and being a part of society again ( things he had stopped while he was grieving for his wife ) and he even found his own form of “medicine” which was simply the company of beautiful women ! most of them were young actresses he met through his work, all of them were gorgeous, and they all adored little eva <3

eva adored them right back ! they taught her stuff she imagined all mother’s teach their daughters: how to dress well, how to smell nice, how to get people’s attention, what makeup to wear, how to do your hair, how to speak so everyone hangs on to your every word, etc. she was still a little girl but she was absorbing all these lessons like a sponge, & it’s a big part of why she’s so obsessed with her own femininity and why she’s got this mindset about being beautiful inside & out in order to feel balanced.

none of the women her dad brought home were ever at her house for more than a week. her father, who had been a notorious bachelor before eva’s mother, seemed incapable of falling in love again. that was his first and maybe only lesson to eva, which was how to break hearts, which is something else she absorbed & carried with her as she grew up

as eva grew up, she kinda became obsessed with trying to imagine what her mom had been like. no one in her family liked to talk about her, especially not her dad, but she knew she looked just like her and she was kinda always trying to fill in the blanks. but then one christmas her dad let it slip that her mom’s death hadn’t been an accident at all, that it had been on purpose. that was kind of the turning point for eva & she just kind of....stopped trying to re imagine her mom after that just kinda wanting to let her rest /:

she also went through a phase of doing stuff just because she could. she’d flirt with people’s boyfriends, she’d make strangers fall in love with her, she’d date people just to break up with them suddenly, etc. she kind of realized just how much she could get away with, but more than that, just how far people would go when they fell in love. she was obsessed with that, but also kind of jealous of those people just because she’d never felt that kind of soul shattering love for someone before and she really does want to </3 while she’s never been in love before, and while she does get bored of lovers easily, she still feels a type of attachment that is sometimes so strong she’s not willing to let the other person go even if she’s being selfish by hanging onto people she can’t get serious abt /: thats just life sometimes......whore rights !

FUN FACTS , PERSONALITY, AND TIDBITS: whore antics tw

goes by eva, never evangeline. her grandma has always called her angel, and so that nickname has also carried over naturally

libra sun AND moon babey ! read abt it here

wears euphoria makeup to do groceries

moved from paris to new york city for college to attend columbia university. double majored in english literature and business management.

created what she called the “manhattan group” in reference to the bloomsbury group, which was a group of associated english writers, intellectuals, philosophers and artists in the first half of the 20th century ( that included writers like virginia woolf ) duringher freshman year. although meetings were supposed to be about discussing literature, it mostly became a place to drink warming champagne, flirt, and gossip. eva hosted the events & meetings off campus inside her loft. the manhattan group only lasted her freshman year though, as rumors of all the underage drinking and “cult-like behavior” persuaded her to drop it. that, and the fact that more than one member had fallen in love with her and things were getting quite tense.

she never carries a lighter because she likes the way more than one person will offer her one if she asks for a light <3

it’s a famous rumor that eva once spilled her drink on her chanel mini-dress at a charity gala and stripped down to her lingerie in front of everyone. it would have stayed a rumor if it wasn’t for the instagram story that went up of her only her underwear.

she has a house phone in her nyc loft that only a select few people ( minus the strangers she’s given the number to while drunk ) know the number

has a three year old black cat named june that she brought with ehr to cannes <3

is the proud owner of a black maserati despite being an infamous bad driver. no one in their right mind, especially not her friends, would ever trust eva to drive.

it’s rumored she once snuck onto the yacht of a ceo to a fortune 500 company, only for him to find her in nothing but a bath towel eating chocolates while flipping through his playboy magazines, and that he was so taken with her instead of pressing charges he decided to name the boat after eva.

once spent a whole day walking around paris in a cheap pink wig and calling herself yvette. nobody could figure out why. eva often pulls stunts like this on a whim.

believes 2 is an unlucky number and is very superstitious about it, as that is the year her mother died. fully believes her twenties are cursed and is actually looking forward to the day she turns 30 just to escape the 2′s.

leonardo dicaprio once made a pass at her during the after party of a movie premiere she was attending.

during full moons, eva always has sex with the windows open. even if it’s winter, a window will be cracked open. this is one of her many personal superstitions.

has a collection of old love letters, mixtapes, and presents past suitors and secret admirers have gifted her. while she cannot remember the origin of quite a few of the objects in her collection, she is attached to them still.

owns a replica of the famous cross necklace filled with cocaine that kathryn had in cruel intentions.

literally i basically just copied most of my hcs page im a clown i cant do summaries...

ok so personality wise ? shes a flirt. a whore, if u will. yes thats a personality trait now. literally if ur breathing shes flirting doesnt matter who u are doesnt matter if ur married if u have 10 kids doesnt matter like she will flirt....does not know how to open her mouth without flirting

big on aesthetics /: believes everyone should get manicures like if ur cuticles are showing shes gonna gag . get help <3

not good at being held accountable for her actions. she’s not really the type to be malicious on purpose, but since she really does play with ppls feelings a lot it’s inevitable she’s gonna hurt someone but if u bring it up shes just gonna be like .. me ? at fault ? u must have the wrong girl i’m angel ...

likes 2 play games JSBDWBDJW clearly....matters of the heart are her fave kind but she also likes doing kinda ridiculous stuff for fun just to see how ppl are gonna react, also likes to do stuff just bc she knows she can usually get away with it

loves skin care like she will be ur dermatologist ( self appointed ) she will gift u a moisturizer she will get everyone to do facemasks with her u cannot escape it ...

has trouble being alone but won’t admit it / doesn’t even really realize it ??? like it is... very rare u will ever find her sleeping alone or spending a whole day in just her own company

not shy.....at all like JBSJDWBJDW she could use some shame but she has zero unfortunately

despite being a whore....she is a HUGE romantic like whew she is obsessed with old love songs & is always playing them on her record player she loves to slow dance <3 she often gives ppl her fave poems ( usually poems abt sex ), she loves getting roses, loves kissing ppl on the cheek when she’s wearing lipstick, & she likes to leave ppl voicemails like ... shes really living like she is the main chara of a romance movie and everyone else is extra #5 most of the time...

idk what else to say im sure shes gonna evolve once we start rping bc that always happens to me but....for now.....this is the end ! *cue feel special by twice*

#opulentintro #╰ ♡ . 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒅𝒖𝒎𝒃 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒔𝒔 ── ooc ! ┘#me: ok im gonna summarize !#me: literally just rewrites everything just to have it turn out just as long...#CLOWN !!! IM A CLOWN !!!!!

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koukoupepia · 6 years ago

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complaints under cut because i hate seeing myself complaining about things but i gotta do it

feeling of despair telling my parents that i want to quit my job in june because i need to take a break to work on my portfolio bc i thought i could balance a day job and illustration and it turns out i cant, and my dad going “no, you have to show me you're searching for another job and i won't let you quit until then. you work 3 days a week, what are you doing the other 4 days.” i tell him im so fuckin exhausted i literally cant do anything on my days off and he's like, well youre gonna have to deal will being tired your whole life thats no excuse, you should be working on your stuff two of those four days (which WAS my original intention but im fuckin suffering.) working part time with full availability means that sometimes i get scheduled to work 5-6 days in a row bc weeks overlap with each other and my dad has never had to work a retail/customer service job so he doesnt understand how tiring it is.

anyway my mom is sympathetic bc she’s the one who helps handle all my medical business and worked in retail when she was my age. she agrees that i need a new job (and i do too) but she also doesnt think taking some time off is a bad idea. its impossible to argue with my dad though, he doesnt care to try to understand and when im home he treats me like im a high schooler who doesn't have a plan for college

the adderall has been really good so far and i haven't had the time to use it on a creative front but i hope that it takes me far enough to be able to work on things and form a plan for the immediate future so i can take some time off and not wallow in infinitely deep levels of pain and fatigue with no will to act on the changes i want to make in my life like i did all summer after graduating.

im going to start looking into fibromyalgia and other things that might be contributing to the level of illness im feeling in hopes i can find some method of relief for it. because the older i get the worse it’s been getting, and it’s at a point where i feel genuine despair worrying that i might not be able to find/hold a job to support myself without eventually killing myself

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justsomekpopstuff · 7 years ago

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I was tagged by @lovelycheollie to do this (thank you so much!)

Rules: Tag 10 Tumblrs you want to get to know better.

Name: everyone calls me JJ, so yeah

Gender: cis-female

Star sign: scorpio and proud!

Height: 5 ft tall/152 cm (so short af)

Middle Name: Rose!

Put your itunes on shuffle. What are the first 6 songs that pop up?:

21st Century Girl by BTS (the song is a bop, what can I say?)

Mercy by Shawn Mendes

I’m Like A Lawyer With the Way I’m Always Trying To Get You Off (Me & You) by Fall Out Boy (good lord that title...)

That Would Be Enough from the Hamilton Soundtrack

Dramarama by Monsta X (yaaaaaas!)

Don’t Listen In Secret by Seventeen

As you can see, my music taste is very spread out

Grab the book nearest to you and turn to page 23. What’s line 17?

Book: Feminism Is For Everybody by bell hooks (its one of my books for one of my classes this semester)

Line 17: “Public education for children has to be a place where feminist activists can continue to do the work of creating an unbiased curriculum”

Yeah...its pretty heavy stuff

Ever had a poem or song written about you?

No. I’m not that cool...

When was the last time you played air guitar?

Literally a week ago I had to teach a kid in this theater class i’m taking how to do the air guitar for a mini performance we are doing

Who is your celebrity crush?

Oh gosh I have so many. I’ll see if I can narrow it down. In kpop, its definitely Joshua (i am one of the ultimate Shua stans), and I have many other biases from many other groups. Hani from Exid and Lisa from blackpink have also caught my eye. Not in kpop, I have, like a billion, but if I had to narrow it down, it would be Chris Evans, Adam Driver, GAL GADOT, and Natalie Portman.

What’s a sound you love?

I love the sound of balanced harmonies in songs (that’s why I love Habit by svt vocal unit so much, bc the harmonies literally killed me they were so beautiful), the sound of coffee being poured into a mug, a toddler’s laughter, and a really loud and obnoxious but also hilarious laugh that makes you want to laugh as well.

Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I do believe in ghosts, but I believe that they are there to protect us, like a guardian kind of. I believe in aliens as well. We don’t know whats out there in space.

Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

Yes, I do drive, and yes I have crashed. It was when I still had my permit, I was making an unprotected left turn and I missed a car that was coming. Thankfully everyone was ok, but the car was totaled. Oops. But hey, I won $100 the next day so it was all cool.

What was the last book you read?

Game of Thrones Psychology by Travis Langley (told you I was a nerd)

Do you like the smell of petrol?

No, not really. Its a bit too strong for me.

What was the last movie you saw?

OMG I saw the movie Coco (the animated movie) like two days ago and it was AMAZING PLEASE GO SEE IT. IT IS SO FREAKING GOOD AND WONDERFUL.

What’s the worst injury you have ever had?

I have two that still mess with me. A few years ago, back when I was in 8th grade, I hyper-extended both of my knees playing soccer (at different times), and so I had to stop playing. I still get chronic pain bc of it. And the second one happened a little over a year ago. I either broke my foot or hurt a ligament in my left foot and had to wear a walking boot for months. I started college with a massive boot on my foot.

Do you have any obsessions right now?

That depends on what you mean by obsessions...

Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

...yes...

In a relationship?

No, I am single af. But Im ok with that for the most part. Gives me more time to fangirl and stuff.

I tag: @kpopreactionstoruinyourlife @kpopsinarios @m0onbean @17rxn @luke-hemmings-princess @straziya @ally8678 @sugacrackers @forever-young-got7 and @jejublr

(Btw if you already did it you do not have to do it again! Thank you!!!)

#tagged #about me

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comicteaparty · 6 years ago

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April 1st-April 7th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from April 1st, 2019 to April 7th, 2019. The chat focused on Stomp! by Brodnork.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Stomp! by Brodnork~! (http://stompwebcomic.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until April 7th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. What do you believe is in the box Silvergammel gives Stomp at the beginning of the story? Do you believe the box will open soon, or will it still be a while? What do you think will happen when it does open?

Brodnork

Hi! I was just caught up in setting up my April Fools gag on twitter that I completely forgot this was happening today

RebelVampire

ironically yours is the gag that reminded me of the date cause i super had to double check i was tagging the right account on twitter cause i was so confused XD

Brodnork

Haha thats fair

It's actually a super convenient time for this sort of discussion, seeing as a chapter just ended and it's on a small hiatus for a bit.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. How do you think Tandrad and Inkcrest are doing? What do you think happened in regards to the Hooligrin paying a visit to Tandrad ominously? What role might Tandrad have to play in the story?

RebelVampire

1) my favorite scene this time i think is when they go to the moon and defeat the queen. i enjoy the humor that shes just so flat out fed up with them no amount of revenge is worth it. i just also love the simple aesthetic changes as well cause despite being simple, they really convey that feeling of alienness. 2) i mean the devil's advocate is the obvious choice. maybe its not tho. maybe its the deus ex machina that will save the die. like baby pictures of the hooligrin that can be used as blackmail. i feel itll still be a while before it comes into play, and i feel too stomp himself probably forgot about it. as for what will happen when it opens, probably some sort of epic fight whether related to the box or not. i also feel like silvergammel might not even know for sure whats in the box despite thinking stomp would like it.

3) Still Clomp because he's the cool one who has a dorky hat and sunglasses and i just like his overall joking sort of laid back attitude about everything. but mostly, hes the cool one. 4) Tandrad and Inkcrest are probably fine, but the theme park owners? probably not so much. Mostly becuase the Hooligrin can only be a bad influence on tandrad and probably said, "im your friend and i say you should murder them." but i think tandrad is gonna appear as an antagonist again next alongside the hooligrin and stomp will have to convince tandrad theyre still friends. then tandrad will betray hooligrin and hooligrin will curse them all while going for plan c.

Brodnork

Ooh, i like those theories about the box

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. What aspect of the world-building have you liked the most? What future role do you believe the aliens might have to play? Further, do you think Comp will learn to control his psychic powers?

RebelVampire

5) im a huge fan of this more recent page, especially the last panel http://stompwebcomic.com/comic/214. i just adore the lighting effects on this page between the red and the glow. and i love the details on how the sword emerges with all the kind of partical spray. it definitely feels like a magical sword and like something truly amazing is happening. 6) ive really enjoyed in general just the world history. like the pirates, the hiss clickers, the alien war. i really love how this stuff is informing present day events while not being completely about it either. it makes the world feel super fleshed out without overriding whats going on. as for the aliens, im not sure theyll be coming back unless hooligrin makes even more "friends." but i do think comp is gonna pick up those psychic powers. just in the greatest time of need. hell show everyone how he can bend a spoon just like in the matrix.

Brodnork

Thanks, Im actually pretty proud of that panel but I was worried it wouldn't have the impact I wanted

ShaRose49

This is really cute so far! It feels pretty slice-of-life-y

Brodnork

Thanks! I guess it sort of is slice of life, seeing as Stomp's life kinda involves going on adventures regularly

TypewriterMark

Rey first thought is this an enormous amount of work and that should always be celebrated

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. What do you think the Devil’s Advocate is? Who is the Hooligrin’s boss and why do they want it? Do you think Hooligrin does know where it is? How will this storyline continue to affect Stomp and company?

ShaRose49

Stomp and the Uncle

Omgosh they are hilarious

My fav scene was the part with the rotten eggnog and he keeps saying random things like I do when I’m tired

ShaRose49

“You’ll never take me alive.”

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. Of the adventures Stomp has been on so far, which one is your favorite? What did you like about it specifically? Also, which adventure played out in a way you didn’t expect?

RebelVampire

7) the characters i probably enjoy seeing interact most are stomp and chomp. they really have such opposite attitudes about adventure, life, and the amount of safety precautions each will take. and i enjoy seeing that contrast be played around with and how inevitably, stomp is usually dragging chomp on adventures to. 8) the devil's advocate is clearly a device that just points out all the flaws in your argument. hooligrin's boss wants to use it to become the best politician in the world by weeding out all their bad arguments and understanding their political opponents better. but more seriously, probably something to summon a demon. and ya know blah blah get all that demon power to rule the world. i think hooligrin thinks he knows where it is, but i def dont think what he thinks is the correct location. and inevitably hooligrin is gonna have to go back to plan a cause stomp is the only good lead

RebelVampireLast Friday at 8:19 AM

9) i love how consistently the world design generally is. like the tree designs consistently look the same, the hiss clickers, and just like the fuzzy quality to all the creatures makes them all feel like they belong in the world. it really helps make the world feel like a cohesive and unique place all its own where characters are actually living. 10) I liked the moon adventure the most i think. I like how the shopping cart was used, how one of the main characters was tied in, and i just generally liked how the queen was defeated. cause it was sad and hilarious. as for adventures that played out in a way i didnt expect, thatd definitely be the treasure hunt one. mostly cause i thought theyd at least find something worthwhile. instead it was just danger and more danger. and yet, they were still happy cause yaay exciting adventures. plus, ya know, a flying shopping cart.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. What do you think Cigast was up to in the mine in regards to collecting all the crystals? How do Cigast and Silvergammel supposedly know each other? What consequences will there be for Stomp failing to stop Cigast?

RebelVampire

11) i think the comic's strength is its world-building and how it ties the world into the story. as i mentioned in an earlier question, i just really enjoy how the story makes the world feel like an actual place where characters are living. i also feel theres really a good balance in how the world is presented, as there are tons of relateable things and parodies that help connect you to the world. but even so, they are able to remain unique. but generally, theres just a lot of character to the world that feels as much a part of how the story unfolds as the rest of the story elements. 12) honestly i kind of think cigast is working with hooligrin in some manner. like not directly persay, but maybe a coworker or hooligrin's black market magic dealer. so i think stomp's failure is gonna spell trouble for stomp later in the next confrontation with hooligrin. cause if i go with my theory on cigast, then cigast is probably giving stuff to hooligrin to use. as for how cigast and silvergammel know each other, maybe they were buddies in college but then cigast went down the dark path and silvergammel didnt want to be buddies anymore and it was very sad.

Brodnork

Thanks for your comments about the world!!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. Do you believe Silvergammel will actually tell Stomp his stories are fake? How might this affect Stomp? Do you believe Stomp should continue adventuring anyway despite the danger? Should everyone let him?

RebelVampire

13) im looking forward to just seeing their adventures in general. i really like learning about the world they live in. but im also looking forward to stomp overcoming people's beliefs he cant go on real adventures. 14) i feel like maybe hell go for an inbetween. like say "well some of the stories arent real." mostly cause silvergammel already putting it off, so i dont trust him to for real tell stomp. but i feel this could go one of two ways. stomp will go on a big huge adventure to prove everyone wrong, or stomp will get depressed and go on a reluctant adventure. but in the long run, yeah, i think stomp will continue adventuring. not that he shouldnt be dissuaded, but stubborn is as stubborn does

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Stomp! this week! Please also give a special thank you to Brodnork for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Stomp!, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://stompwebcomic.com/

Brodnork’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Brodnork

Brodnork’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/A561YF0

Brodnork’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/Brodnork

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic book club #webcomic bookclub #comic tea party #ctp #stomp!#stomp #brodnork

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edrecoveryprobs · 7 years ago

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RE: Anons (finally!!) 1-8

In this post:

#2: How to handle surgery-related diets

#4: our fave recovery blogs

#5: dealing with bullying about vitiligo

#8: Recovering through the transition to college + how to challenge romanticizing ED thoughts

[CW behavior mention]

1. hi, sorry to bother you but I'm nervous I might have an eating disorder? I've been hospitalized for malnutrition in the past, but I just wasn't eating enough. the behaviors now are like binge purge restrict so on so on. I've been eating about [x] calories a day now because I want to lose weight without binging/ purging. should i tell someone about this, or is this normal?

FAQ #3 but yes definitely tell someone who can help!

2. I have to have a endoscopy/colonoscopy in a few weeks, and the prep for it has me completely on edge. In order to have the procedure done, I have to eat a restricted diet for a week, not eat for [x amount of time], and then take a super powerful laxative. My doctor also recommended I go on a weight loss diet, even though I'm still at a healthy BMI. After being recovered for several years, I've been struggling with a relapse, and I'm afraid that this will push me over the edge. Any tips on how to deal?

Sorry this is so late! Here’s advice for anyone else in your situation.

First, tell your doctor! Ask which elements of this are most important, and which can be worked around. Your ED is a complicating condition, so they should really know about it -- they’re treating YOU, not just your colon.

Second, give your laxatives to someone you trust, preferably someone who lives with you. If you can, enlist their support with mealtimes as well. If you get really sad at the end of the meal bc you can feel yourself falling back into that old place, that’s okay. Have them remind you that this is temporary, and that food is not as black-and-white as your ED wants it to be. Cede responsibility for figuring out your intake to this trusted person. Also -- make sure no one lets you know your weight at any point! Perhaps they can tell you when you’re back at your normal weight but that’s it!! The less you can obsessively track, the better.

Third, get into therapy NOW. Once this diet is over and everything gets quiet is when the ED stuff really starts to hit. I find that usually my recovery phase is ½ as long as my restrictive phase if I’m in therapy, and 2x as long if I’m not.

Fourth, acknowledge that this is unusually difficult and that struggling with a difficult thing doesn’t negate all the work you’ve been doing for years. You’ve built a solid foundation that has a good chance of keeping you stable through this rough time, and even if that starts to crack you have those same foundation-building skills to get it back to good.

I hope things went well for you <3

3. your blog always makes me feel valid and safe. thank you.

You’re so welcome! I’m glad it helps <3

4. Hey!! Do you know of any other positive recovery blogs? Im too scared to look in the tags bc they're full of pro ana things :( I love your blog, thank you!!! ❤❤

Fyoured was my fave, idk if they’re still active though! There’s also scienceofeds but that’s mostly summarizing current medical literature on it. Edreocoverystarfish and clinicallydepressedpug are also great! You can also check out our reblog tag

5. I've been suffering from vitiligo practically my whole life and it's something that affects me both psychically and emotionally. My brother often makes fun of me because of it, his favourite name for me is ''Michael Jackson"

That’s so shitty of him. If it helps, siblings tend to be rather shitty as they’re growing up, because it usually takes like 15-20 years to learn the basic emotional skills it takes to really be there for someone you love. Some people (especially masculine-identified people because of the social penalties associated) take longer to learn or never do at all. That’s not your fault.

For what it’s worth, siblings tend to make fun of whatever your biggest insecurities are, because humans learn how to affect others’ emotions before they learn how to affect them positively. Mine was acne for a while, especially since I struggle with dermatillomania (skin-picking) -- my siblings would wait for a Papa John’s commercial of a pepperoni pizza, point to it, and say “hey look, it’s Selena! HA HA HA!!”. My sister was really insecure about her hair being parted exactly down the middle, so my other sister and I would make fun of her for that. What I mean to say is, it’s not about the vitiligo. It’s about your brother not having learned yet how to NOT be a rude little shit.

Also, there’s no absolute that different colored patches of skin are ugly or bad. Calico cats are so cute! Freckles are adorable! Winnie Harlow is so talented! Find reminders in your life and/or online that different isn’t bad, and that this difference can be jaw-droppingly gorgeous or heart-breakingly adorable or lovably cute. It’s all about how you wear it.

And finally, know that love is always a choice -- including self-love. Rather, it is a combination of tons of small choices. Am I treating myself with love? Do I talk to myself lovingly, the way I would talk to a friend who was in my situation? Do I appreciate what my skin does for me, pigment or no pigment? Am I cultivating a life full of things and people that validate that love? It’s hard at first, it always is, but once you start it becomes a really awesome habit. Here is a great place to start (adjust pronouns as appropriate).

Sending you lots of love <3

[CW poop mention]

6. Hi, this incredibly embarrassing, but I recently experienced some personal trauma and so I am having problems with eating... Mostly restrictive and the inability to swallow some foods. However, I am having some digestive problems, mostly issues with skid marks. I was wondering if this is common and if there is a remedy for it... This is the first time I have experienced something like this. Sorry.

First, I really honestly don’t think anyone goes through their life without ever getting skid marks lol so you’re not a freak at all. I get them from time to time and I don’t really have digestive problems. Usually it just means I need to eat more fiber or adjust the balance of my diet. Also, this might sound weird, but anal kegels might help! The anal ring is all muscles, after all, and if restricting is a problem then all muscles have probably atrophied a little bit, including those. And finally, it might just be bad toilet paper. There’s lots of kinds that are practically useless and turn into a pulpy mess instead of doing their damn job. If you’re at home, consider getting stronger toilet paper (2-ply etc) or carrying baby wipes in a purse or backpack. Black underwear can also help with the insecurity aspect.

7. I love your blog so much! It helps knowing what other people are going through while making it a little humorous. Stay awesome!!

:D will do!

[CW romanticizing relapse, negative body image] 8. I have been battling with my ed for [x amount of time] now. In [y]th grade I got so tiny, I felt so pretty. I had never been skinny until then. I gained a lot of weight from being on so many medications, and now I am at an average weight but I am so unhappy with my body. I still struggle with purging and skipping meals. I start college this fall and I am terrified that I am going to let ana control me since no one will notice. I just want to feel beautiful and I know I wont until I'm tiny…

Something I’ve been going through recently is trying to lovingly remind myself when these thoughts pop up: I’m not believing this stuff because it’s true, I believe it because I’m literally crazy. It’s somewhat counterintuitive, but those beliefs can really take ahold of you if you take them seriously. But it’s just a symptom of the mental illness you know you already have. It’s like if you were prone to visual or audial hallucinations -- they feel real. They look real. They sound real. Of course you’d believe there are lions chasing you right now, because all of the senses you usually trust are indicating that that’s true. But also, if you can use the knowledge you have to try to see past them, you can actually interact much better with your environment.

Facts: you feel unhappy with your body. You still struggle with disordered behaviors. You start college this fall. College represents a big challenge to your ability to keep ana under control.

Beliefs: I can’t feel good unless I am thin. I can’t help but do what my ED says. I must keep this all a secret. I can’t get any help.

In the past 5 years, there have been times you’ve felt happy. Even when you weren’t thin. State memory means it’s hard to think of times you’ve felt differently, but it’s just a fact about human brains that we can’t feel one feeling for very long without switching it up.

Also, I guarantee you that you weren’t happy then. It’s so easy to romanticize thinness -- we see thinness romanticized literally ad nauseam -- but it’s such an empty feeling to be stuck in your ED. It’s so hopeless. It feels so crappy to walk into a restaurant with your friends, to see them all laughing and having fun when all you can think about is how terrifying it is to order food and how much you want to run away. When I really think about how awful each moment is with an ED, how I’m constantly either freaking out about eating or dreading the next time I’ll have to eat, how I had to numb myself constantly because reality felt so bleak.... Thin just isn’t worth it.

And let’s be clear: thin isn’t pretty. It’s just thin. Thin people CAN be pretty, but so can people of size, and so can very muscular people, and so can people whose body shape is more average. And eating disorders will make you thin at the expense of everything your body needs to maintain itself. It’s like insisting that houses are only thin if they have columns out front, so you hack off the front door, peel off the siding, pry up all the furniture, and stack up this pile of garbage to make some columns. You’re better off with a column-less but functioning house than one full of holes and empty inside.

Before you get to college, look up the mental health resources. Sign up for counseling through your school ASAP!!! Counseling tends to fill up as midterms approach, so this way you’ll be covered in case things go downhill later. Also, TELL people you trust. This you must do even if everything in you screams not to, because everything in you will scream not to, because your ED brain is actually trying to kill you. The more trusted people you tell, the less you have to fight it on your own, and the more resources you have to fight it. ALSO, see if there is an ED support group or a body positivity group on campus. Being around people who can gently call out disordered thoughts is a huge relief! And finally, explore other things that make you feel beautiful. Some people like makeup, and seeing how much of appearance is just illusion. Some feel beautiful when they know that they are strong and agile. Experiment with your clothing. Cut or dye your hair. Now is the time to test out different styles, and those are so much more fun to work on than calorie counting.

Lastly, you have more to do than be tiny. Mice are tiny. 5 cent candies are tiny. Pinky toe nails are tiny. What can you do that’s new? That helps you learn? That’s helpful? That’s exciting? Ana ignores all of that because of an obsession with BEING one thing. But ana doesn’t know shit about all the weird, cool, funny, wild stuff you can do. Show her what she’s missing.

Best of luck to you, and if you find yourself struggling in college don’t be afraid to message us back. We’re here for you throughout your recovery process <3

#surgery #laxatives #recovery and college #vitiligo #fanmail #skid marks #anonymous #ask

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oh-mother-of-darkness · 8 years ago

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asks (30)

@novelty--night said:

Can you recommend any angsty dick Grayson fanfic?

I don’t really read other people’s fanfiction, so I’m afraid the only ones I can give you are mine :/

Those are here: 1 2 3 4 5

You might ask Dawn for some others? I think she would know

Anonymous said:

Hi! I absolutely love your work. Can you please say anything about Steph? Maybe interactions with the Dead Robin Society? Please? Thank you! Your blog is AMAZING!!!!

The Steph content is here:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 (hc)

1 2 3 (fic)

I’ll go ahead and save the ask for the next time I have Steph ideas :)

Anonymous said:

I would very much like to join your ace crime-fighting squad, but I am rather tall and not good at concealing myself should hiding be necessary. What should I do?

Hm well we do have several non combat positions available in the organizational sector if that sort of thing interests you, but our standard training program includes a week of camouflage and concealment instruction, so I’m sure we can find some way to accommodate you.

I would also note that if you meet the (single) requirement for membership, you’re already largely invisible soooo

kpopfreaksgeneral submitted:

Something good that has happened to me

So, short story before all this: i’m 20 years old with autism, and I’ve dropped out of highschool (or i think the danish equvilant to that) when i was about 16-17, because I struggled with keeping up with homework. I was thrown around in the system for years, not getting meds, not knowing what to do.

Last year, I was told about an educations program which is targetted at young people with autism. Basically, it’s made to be suited around how fast you learn, how many hours you can work a day and how you will function most optimally when working. It’s within a certain supermarket chain’s stores that I’ll be taught working in.

So far, it’s going great, I get to work, get taught in it, do something and I’ll have a secured work place afterwards, all over Denmark as long as it’s in one of the chain’s stores.

Also, I’m back on meds, not the some one’s as before, but I got my med’s back.

That’s really great!! I’m glad things are falling into place for you!

Anonymous said:

something good, besides the obvious of seeing u on my dash: it was really nice and sunny today for the first time in a really long time and it was so warm i laid out in the sun with my roommates dog for a bit just to hang

Ooooh that sounds really relaxing

Anonymous said:

I got full mark and a bonus for a subject I didn't study well for.. I'm grateful and I think I should study next time so I deserve it XD

Whoop for grades coming out better than expected :)

@shieldshawk said:

I got kissed by a dog named Sirius Black. Because the people who come to my store are awesome nerds.

!!! Congrats on living the dream

Anonymous said:

I was on a date that had gone sour this weekend, and I was ready to go back home and call it a loss. When! My friend called me and told me she got into a study abroad program and wanted me to come over and get drunk with her! We had a great time!!!

That sounds like fun! Sorry bout your date ://

@nightwing1536 said: I watched Gordon Ramsay make donuts on YouTube today so that was pretty good

nightwing1536 said: It's awesome whenever I get new glasses cause then oh shit things are clear again!!

nightwing1536 said: Finding Teen Titans and getting into DC Comics was a great thing for me

nightwing1536 said: Once I made myself hot chocolate when I was alone and it was really nice

nightwing1536 said: A lady I don't know very well asked how I was doing once because I was sleeping in my old teachers class room that she sometimes popped into and she was worried so that was a great reminder

nightwing1536 said: I got a pair of really nice dentist people when I had to get root canals! Only two. But they were so nice as my usual dentist guys are mean.

nightwing1536 said: I'm friends with the dentist root canal people now

nightwing1536 said: Eating corn is always a good thing that happens for me

nightwing1536 said: My teachers influenced made me know I'm more than what everyone else thought of me to be. Made me like art as one once said "...your art is really unique, don't ever give up on that." It was a girl with a mole smoking a cigarette. Terrible picture that I let him have but it means a lot to me

nightwing1536 said: Another teacher, the teach I hang with that's now my old teacher, tapped on my desk when I had him first time(known him before ish from club) and he said "If you wouldn't mind drawing me something so I could put it up on my wall? Your style is very unique and I like it." Not sure what my style was besides melting creatures and whatnot but it was nice, gave it to him at the end of the year and he says its nightmare fuel <3

nightwing1536 said: Another teacher told me I was good enough to be in her AP ceramics class, simply because of my dedication to it. I had never taken ceramics before and only ever made a few things in her club. She and I aren't very close this year but I wish we could have been. I'll write her a letter, it's what I did for all my teachers before.

nightwing1536 said: In 8th grade my science teacher said I had potential, I didn't care much at the time but he was a huge inspiration for me to live and continue. He was the first teacher I ever drew anything for, a pic of himself, I remember his head was too pointed in the picture.

nightwing1536 said: Finding you was a good thing too

That’s a lot of good stuff! Thank you <3

@silly-fuzzy-babies replied

Bill Potts on Doctor Who saved my entire life

Oh man I need to catch up then!

@cannibalfood replied

Im almost done college, just have exams left then i graduate, my gpa so far is 3.7, not great, but I'm studying hard for exams

Listen I think most people would agree that 3.7 is a reaaaaally good GPA. Congratulations!

@therealstephaniebrown replied

Well! I'm going in on May 4th to get a new tattoo! A really beautiful thigh piece. I also got in to see a doctor and am starting to take better care of my mental illnesses. Three medications so far to help balance things. Oh, and my boyfriend is flying out to Cali with me to meet my family so he can finally propose to me cx I hope you're okay <3

WHOA CONGRATS!! I’m doing okay now. I wasn’t so much last night, but I’ll be fine

@freres-toujours replied

I got the new Mass Effect game when it came out and I've been slowly working my way through it. I finished off a planet today, and this one was particularly satisfying.

I’m glad you’re having fun :)

@another-nameless-person said

I’m gender neutral and was really scared when I found out I was pregnant(months ago) that my family would treat my gender identity badly but…. They’re surprisingly concerned if they are being rude in any way? My mom even offered to buy me a binder for after I have my baby? Also, they’re all excited for my baby to grow up having someone as open about gender, sexuality and equality raise them? Which is a HUUUGE step for my family. So that’s really something that is really good until next month and I finally get to see my daughter :D

HOLY SHIT YOU’RE HAVING A BABY!!!! I’M SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!! CONGRATS!

@entrthematrix replied

I have been really sick these past two weeks and have not able to stomach any food so I've been on a liquid only diet. But, I had my first bit of real food for the first time yesterday and wasn't sick after, it is a real sign that I am getting better now.

Oh man I’m glad you’re getting better! That sounds terrible

@thelittlechibi replied

We recently released one of our birds into the wild, but he keeps hanging around the house, and last night he landed on my lap out of the blue. Ruined it by having a go at my face and leaving a scratch over my eye, but it's nice to know he's still safe and chill with us.

Whoaaaa that’s super interesting

@pallet-45 replied

I met you!! Ahaha wow that was lame

Aw thanks Danny <3

@minami-the-door-lord:

I saw a stray cat. It let me pet it.

Yoooo that sounds great I would love to pet a cat today

@richardgrays0n replied

One of my best friends just had a baby! And I got to meet him and hold him. He's adorable and so tiny. So very tiny. I love him already and I'm super proud to be his honorary aunt.

!!!!!!! Y’all I love babies so much

Thanks, guys! Y’all are really kind and helpful, and I super appreciate it <3

#asks #plus some replies #and a few comments?#thank y'all <3 #i was having a really shitty night but I'm okay now

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lovelydeceitff · 8 years ago

Text

Chapter 3

we gone do it like it's about to be the end of the world and they're depending on us to make earth shaking love…

Shay

It’s Sunday night. One more day of freedom and then classes start Tuesday. I’m so not ready. Training literally drained me this year.. sitting in lectures for hours and then having to jump right back into classes without a small break is kind of stressful. My brain hates me for this torture.

I decided to give myself a short “Me Time” session before Keith gets here. He decided to come back today instead of Friday. He wanted to spend a little more time with his family before coming back to school. He always decides to leave home when the sun is about to set. It’s a 3 hour drive of corn fields about 90% of the way here.. meaning that it’s dark af. I hate when he does this but Keith is very stubborn and I swear sometimes he thinks he’s invincible and can do it all. At the beginning of our relationship I called him super man lol.

My Superman.

I had so many reasons for this. Mainly because he did so much and I couldn’t understand how he made it through his first year. Keith ran track for the school; he had practice from 3 to 6pm. His classes were from 9am to 2pm. He ALSO worked M-F from 4am to 8am so he could pay his $3000/per semester balance from tuition. Basically he was busy from 3am (the time his alarm goes off) to 6pm and if he’s lucky 5pm. Then he’d have to do homework up until his body can’t stay up any longer. Some days he’d decide to skip out on dinner so he can get straight to his homework, I’d have to force him to go to the dining hall sometimes. If not he’d eat a PB&J sandwich or Ramen noodles and call it a night. Chances are he also didn’t have breakfast… he normally eats a fruit and whatever other snack he has, like a honey bun or a giant cookie. He managed to get a 2.7 GPA that year. It might not sound ideally great, but considering everything he had to do -that was great.

He ended up quitting track that year, he was so hurt. I felt horrible for my baby. I remember telling him “even superman has to make sAcrifices”. Keith is super athletic, before college he played football, basketball, and ran track. He was the best on the field in football and went to state twice in track. The only reason he isn’t on scholarships for sports is because his grades weren’t good in HS and with our school, he took too long to decide on the offer. He wasn’t going to come here. Though he struggled freshman year trying to keep up with his schedule, Keith decided to start working two jobs the next year. Smh. Superman, I’m telling you.

Now we’re juniors, Keith got another scholarship over the summer which helped him out greatly so he was able to quit one job, but he decided to keep the overnight one. The 4am to 8am. So when he gets here, he’ll probably be getting ready for bed.

I spent about an hour and a half just doing me stuff. I took a nice hot shower, exfoliated and shaved. I painted my toenails and fingernails. I felt good. Real good. I also haven’t seen my baby in almost 3 weeks so he better think I look real good too cause I need him ASAP. Lucky for me he didn’t take too long to get here after I finished up.

He unpacked his car and brought his things to my room. I was so happy to see him I just about jumped on him when I let him in. I missed his face. I showed him my Fenty slides that he bought me.

“Those are perfect good. I’m happy cause they go with your other gift.” He grabbed a Victoria secret bag from his tote and gave it to me. There was a white and pink kimono style satin inside the bag. I loved it. I’ve been saying I wanted a satin robe for the longest. He also got me a bunch of my favorite candy, Twix.

“Baby I love it, thank you so much. I can’t believe you remembered about the robe!!”

“I told you I pay attention to you, you be thinking I’m bullshitting. But anything for you girl, happy late birthday” he said to me then I gave him a big kiss.

After Keith settled in he took a shower. He told me he was going to work tomorrow so he could only be up for a while, but he does want to watch Netflix with me. That’s our thing. Watching shows on Netflix. Right now we’re stuck on Shameless. It’s almost 9:30 so we’ll probably squeeze in one episode.

I heated up the food I got him earlier and set up Netflix. He got out the shower and yes I had to control myself before I jumped on him again. It’s been 3 weeks since I felt my best friend. I call his penis my best friend. Don’t judge me.

We began watching our show, idk why I thought we’d make it through the entire episode.

Keith rubbed my ass then gave it a good squeeze. “Damn baby you getting thick, I’m liking this” he whispered in my ear.

“I remember when we first started dating, you had no booty haha. Now look at you. I did that baby?” He asked

“Keith, oh my gosh. Yes baby you did that. And so did squats.” I answered.

He smacked my ass, “we’ll keep doing them squats….”

We attempted to watch the episode of Shameless again. About 10 minutes later, I’m sure Keith just said fuck it. He started squeezing and rubbing on my ass and thighs harder. It was time. He was ready and I BEEN ready. I don’t know why I got all nervous when he first got here.

Keith began kissing my neck. I turned around and kissed him softly. I sucked on his bottom lip and then forced my tongue in his mouth. We kissed like we’d never be able to kiss again. He rolled me on top of him as we continued to kiss. I kissed him down to his neck where I sucked and placed small bites. I stopped to take his shirt off and then he took off mine. After that I only had on my panties. He had on his shorts and boxer briefs. I went back and began to softly kiss him from his neck all the way down to his lower stomach. I started to tease him. I pulled down his shorts and boxers and started licked and kissing everything but his dick. I had him in the palm of my hands. He was so ready for this head.

I went back up kissed him once more then returned to his member. I placed a kiss on the tip, licked up his shaft, the put him in my mouth. At first I started slow, then I sped up as I began to deep throat. I was going crazy on him. He was trying his hardest not to yell out, I felt it. Keith isn’t a moaner.

I stopped sucking his dick and began to mount myself on top of him. He rose up and kissed me first. I pulled off my panties, grabbed his dick and put him at my opening. I teased his dick at my opening before sliding down it.

“Uhhhhhhh, oh my god baby” I moaned

“Shit, fuck you so wet” Keith moaned out.

I was slowly grinding as I leaned foreward to tell him how much I missed him.

“I missed you too baby too much. Ride that dick baby, fuck” he said

I bounced and twerked like my life depended on it. He loved when I got on top. I swear I cannot twerk at all. I can only do that shit on his dick. It’s crazy. We switched positions. Face down, ass up. He was smacking the hell out of my ass. I had to play it off like it didn’t hurt. It was good hurt, I guess. He started giving me short fast strokes then he would slow down and give me long slow strokes and it was driving me crazy. I was moaning so loud, I know for a fact my neighbors heard me. He was fucking me so good. I laid flat down as he continued to fuck me from behind. He laid on top of me as his dick continued to thrust in and out of me. All you heard was my screams, our skin slapping, and my wetness.

“Shit Keith, right there. Yes baby. UUUUHHHHHHHH, YESS!”

He was giving me long strokes, fast. Touching my spot. I was about to cum. His dick was going in and out and every time it made me get louder. I started grinding back on him. He sat up on his knees, grabbed my hips and continued to thrust in and out of me.

“KEITH YES FUCKKK. I’m about to cum, don’t stop.” I cried out

“Cum for me baby. Cum all over this dick”

“Ssssssssss, fuck. Ohhhh uhhhhhh baby right there. I’m about to oh my god. IM ABOUT TO– AHHHHHH KEEEITTHH IM CUMMING”

He then began fucked me harder. I thought I was about to explode. He wasn’t letting up. His dick felt so amazing. I was getting wetter and wetter as we came close to climax.

Keith went balls deep as he grinded into my now throbbing center. I was loving it. I was grinding back. I was trying hard not to cum. I just wanted to ride this feeling out forever. I started throwing my ass back.

“Shit, girl!”

I got about 6 more backshots in before we both came. I was stuck. He was stuck. We just wanted to lay there and go to sleep. I had to tell Keith to get up and get a towel before he really fell asleep.

After we cleaned ourselves up, we cuddled until we fell asleep. I was in my favorite place. His arms. It literally felt like forever since I’ve been held by him.

“I love you babe” I said to him

“I love you too” he said groggily

#chris brown ff #chris brown fanfic #chris brown #keith powers fanfic #keith powers #fanfiction #fanfic #fantasy #lovelydeceit #writing #story

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