#but im a dark roots enjoyer so

[a-gay-little-cat]

I feel like everyone always gives their favorite primarch their own little touch when they draw them, especially with Sanguinius, everyone loves to have their own personalized version of him so I wanted to try my hand at a few looks too and I've liked these two the most tbh :}

[wandasaura]

BURNING BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN

summary — the annual maximoff memorial day barbecue has finally come, but so has a softer side of your dominants

warning(s) — established relationship, married wandanat, mentions of dom/sub dynamics, this is 90% fluff, shower sex, quickie, fingering, oral, nipple stimulation, hickies, its relatively tame in comparison to what lives in this au, domestic fluff, mentions of pietro being dead as fuck, men/minors dni

authors note — remember when i said i was taking a little break? yeah i lied and im not sorry about it!

you are in love universe

♥️⊹ ˚ . 18+, men/minors dni ⁺ 𓈒 ꒰💌꒱ ♡ ･ mommy maximoff

The warmth and promise of sunshine had quickly taken hold of Westview, days of long darkness and snow storms came to be just a memory, thawed out by butterflies and the occasional white dove that pecked at the birdfeeder on the back porch of the Maximoff residence. You couldn’t understand how the sky was so much brighter in warmer weather, but as you sat beside Natasha on the cusp of solid Earth, you thought it looked bluer than usual. The crashing waves before you licked at your feet and dampened the shorts you wore when the tide dared to try and swallow you whole, but like changing seasons, it never stayed quick. 

Sunrise had barely hit its peak and already the traces of pink and orange were just another mental memory for the big scrapbook of moments you never wanted to forget. The sand was coarse beneath the fingers that hours earlier had been dug into soft blankets, but refreshing and welcomed despite how small granules crept beneath your nails when you picked it up the wrong way. Natasha hummed an old lullaby beneath her breath, eyes closed and face tilted toward the sun like a lonely flower that had managed to grow in an abandoned field. You knew much about the woman's past, but not enough to understand her connection to the star that brought you light each new day. Now wasn’t the time to ask, but you knew that eventually you’d come to know the reason for her methods of relief in hard times. 

The first weekend of break had come on quick, and the barbeque that Wanda and Natasha had frantically tried to tidy the house for before your attitude interrupted them was merely hours away. Despite the plans and the people coming over, time had been taken out of the day to devote just to you. In this moment, sitting on the edge of solid ground beneath rays of sun that attempted to burn you, you couldn’t even explain how truly loved you felt. 

The beach was empty, void of the presence of others and quiet for your enjoyment, save for the seagulls who squawked over scraps and the waves that crashed against man made piers and naturally jagged rocks. Your toes were coated in sand, your fingers in the same state, but you didn’t care to think about the messy things at that moment, you only wanted to focus on the good. The good was Natasha’s arm wrapped around your waist, keeping you close like a stray wave might succeed in carrying you out to sea. The good was Wanda’s perfume that lingered around the collar of your stolen shirt like the scent was woven into the cotton. The good was being here, being free and alive. The good was knowing Natasha. The good was having Wanda. The good was knowing love and having love.  

You laid your head down on the woman’s shoulder, noting how her hair seemed to glow beneath the sunlight. In this moment, it wasn’t auburn with scuffs of brown thrown in at the roots, it was orange like fire made by those long before lights and lanterns existed. She was ethereal, sat out beneath the early daylight, bearing her freckles for the sky to adore. You’d attempted to count them earlier, your gaze stuck on her naked face with blemishes and beauty marks sporadically thrown into the mix, but somewhere after thirty they all blended together and you settled for simply looking at them, admiring how you were somehow allowed to see them. 

You were happier in spring, happiest in summer, but recently, you have found those seasons in people. Wanda was like the early days of May, where weather was warm but also cold, and sunlight was soft but somehow harsh. Natasha was like summer, late July if you thought about a specific moment. Like the air she was sweet, but like the people she was calm, and like the night she was chaos wrapped up in laughter and loved company. They weren’t perfect, you would never call them such, but they were as close to it as people could get. 

A soft smile graced your features, and though you squinted to lessen the sting of sunlight, Natasha thought you looked stunning. When her eyes reopened and her head tilted downward to look at you, there was only affection smeared across her face. Her eyes that were so meticulously different shades of green had a spark within them that could only speak of the happiness she felt. How words had existed for so long and still there wasn’t one to describe the intense feelings that rushed through the both of you, you didn’t know, but you were content enough to rest against her with the knowledge that even if you couldn’t say it, you were both feeling it. 

“We’ve gotta head back soon.” Your beautiful moment was ripped into tiny pieces of paper that got caught in the breeze before they made it into the recycling can, and the smile that had turned your lips upward quickly worked in the opposite direction. You shook your head, digging your heels into the sand like the simple action might change her mind and make her forget about the barbeque that was starting at noon. “Not now. I need a couple more minutes of this.” 

You giggled softly when she nuzzled into your head, her wild curls tickling your nose because she hadn’t bothered to straighten them yesterday. You reached up, taking one of her curls between your fingers and pulling it taught, letting go to watch it bounce back into place and laid against her forehead with frizzy edges. You sighed in content, running your fingers through her wild hair that couldn’t be tamed in this state. “I like your natural hair.” 

Natasha crinkled her nose at your genuine admission. She puckered her lips and let them rest against your finger that was still in front of her face as you softly brushed strands of hair away from her eyes. “My natural hair is blonde.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” You rolled your eyes fondly, snuggling even further into her side despite how hot you felt beneath the sun. No matter the weather you wanted to be pressed up into her, and it was clear that she wanted the same, her arm around your waist squeezed you tight, almost daring you to try and pull away prematurely. “When you met Wanda did she have red hair?” 

“No, the red is pretty new. It was brown, a little bit longer than she keeps it now. She was really leaning into the whole emo phase. We could never go out together if she didn’t have red lipstick and eyeliner, she always said it completed her look.” Natasha smiled fondly at the memories that came to mind when she thought about the beginning stages of their relationship, and you felt your own heart warm in your chest as you thought about the young couple they had been. You wondered what kind of odds had been stacked against them, but you didn’t question it, happy to just live in this happy moment. 

You let your hand fall back into the sand, rubbing circles that slowly became hearts into the malleable surface. The beach would always be one of your favorite places, but sitting beside Natasha made it better, sweeter. “How long have you been together now?” 

“Fourteen years.” Natasha laughed, her own hand reaching out to collect handfuls of sand that she let run between her fingers until only a few granules were left in her palm, and then you watched her repeat the process over again. “Sometimes it feels like it was only a couple of weeks ago, and other times it feels like I’ve never lived without her.” 

“I never hated her.” You admitted, though you had the slightest inkling that Natasha already knew that. She just had a way of knowing things before you did. There was no possible way anyone could hate Wanda Maximoff, and if you somehow stumbled upon the only person in the world who did, you didn’t doubt they’d meet a quick and painful demise. 

“I know, moya kroshka.” Natasha laughs softly, so softly the sounds of the waves almost drown her out completely, but you still heard her. You’d always hear her. “It’s coming up on a full year since we started this whole thing, have any ideas about what you want to do?” 

You shrugged your shoulders, reaching for Natasha’s hand when she lost interest in the sand. She’d taken her rings off last night and with the early wake-up call hadn’t put them back on. The slightest tan kissed her features around where they usually sat, and gently you brushed the pads of your fingers against the pale skin. “I just want to spend it with you both.” 

“We can definitely make that happen.” Natasha hummed softly, laying a gentle kiss on the top of your head where sunlight had kissed your hair. Your roots were warm, hot against her lips, but Natasha didn’t flinch away. You knew this moment was coming to an end, but you could appreciate it for the few seconds longer that it lasted. “Wanda probably has breakfast ready, milaya. We’ve gotta start heading back now.” 

“Can we come back?” You questioned softly, not wanting to speak too loud as if it could ruin the quiet atmosphere around you. As you stood, dusting sand off the back of your legs, you winced at the ache in your back when you finally found your feet and steadied yourself on them. Natasha did the same, a quiet groan slipping past her lips when she reached down to collect your abandoned sets of flip flops. With one hand occupied, she reached the other out to you.  

“We’ll find a day.” She promised with a nod of affirmation. Your hand fits easily in the palm of hers, your fingers curl around her scarred knuckles while hers lay flat against your unbroken ones. Together you’re a perfect balance. Delicate definitely, but not entirely harmless. 

Westview sits on the edge of New Jersey, the air tinged with the permanent lingrance of salt and sand. The farther you walk, the less prominent it becomes, but if you know what you’re looking for, the scent of the shore still remains. Houses closest to the water are painted soft colors that linger in the summer sunrises, vacation homes that are only occupied for a handful of months throughout the year, but the deeper you walk the more mundane it becomes. The town is a muted palette of browns and beiges, fences of white and cars of greyscale. It’s perfectly coherent, acceptably mature, but the Maximoff residence remains the outlier. In the blandness of tans and creams, the two-story house is a soft green color with vibrant red shutters. The cars are normal, though elaborate. Unlike the Hondas and Toyotas that occupy driveways and road space, Natasha’s sleek Corvette Stingray sits beside Wanda’s Audi R8 in the driveway, the only flex of their wealth that’s apparent. You like it though, like how they’re so different from everyone else. 

You make sure to kick the sand still clinging to your heels off before you step into the house, and immediately you’re met with the aroma of sweet sugar and maple. Natasha hums at the change of scent, leaving behind the traces of salt that had tickled her nose the entire walk back to the house in favor of discovering what Wanda had prepared for breakfast. She drags her hand across your back as she passes you, seeking out the presence of her wife. 

You're slower to follow, taking your time to meticulously stack your flip flops with the rest of the shoes in the entryway. They don’t match the aesthetic of Valentino loafers and Prada heels, but you smile at the sight anyways. Your favorite pair of white converse sit beside the shoes Wanda wears into the office every work day, and your balled up pink socks are tucked into Natasha’s running shoes for some reason, but the little traces of your place here makes you feel at home. You’re not so different from the shore that lingers through Westview in the winter, but unlike the water that’s abandoned when snow falls, they’ll never forget about you when the seasons inevitably change. 

“Where did you leave the stray?” You just barely catch the end of whatever conversation has led to that question when you finally appear in the kitchen. The sunlight is golden now, no longer soft with pink and orange, but it falls over Wanda like the perfect blanket anyways. She’s wrapped up in Natasha’s arms, pinned to the stovetop where bacon rests in a hot pan. The only indication that this moment is less than perfect is the hot grease that pops and splatters every other second when Wanda neglects it for too long. 

“You know, you should really be nice to me before I start biting your ankles like a real stray.” You hum, your voice carrying through the kitchen like it’s always belonged there, though it’s not a response derived from annoyance like it would have been only weeks ago. Rather, your words are layered with fond exasperation that Wanda finds herself laughing at. 

Natasha kisses the lawyer's shoulder, squeezes her waist tightly, whispers something in Russian that’s not entirely audible from how far away you stand, before she pulls away entirely and walks toward the refrigerator. You pout when she pulls out the near empty pitcher of orange juice, setting it down on the island to be poured into glasses when breakfast is ready. It seems you could’ve spent a few more minutes beneath the sun, but you don’t complain. This is just as nice, just different. 

“That’s my job.” You sulk, letting your naked feet slap against the hardwood floors as you approach with sadness written across your expression. “Wanda, your wife took my job.” 

Natasha only narrows her eyes at you, the faintest ghost of a smile on her lips that she doesn’t even attempt to school. “It was my job first.” 

“Well it’s my job now!” You stuck your tongue out at her, sulking your way over to Wanda who lets you wrap your body around hers like a baby koala. With your front pressed up against hers, you have to crane your head backward to catch a glimpse of her face, but you're pleased to know she’s already looking down at you. You pout your lips up at her, grinning in victory when she kisses your frown away with a sigh of faux exasperation. “Can I have a new job?” 

Wanda laughs at your question, her fingers sliding beneath the waistband of your shorts to sit on the skin of your ass that’s still marked from days prior. You sighed in relief at the contact, leaning heavily into her chest when she rubs away the lingering ache that truthfully doesn’t bother you much anymore. It doesn’t last long, there’s still much to be done before noon rolls around, but you soak up every ounce of domesticity this morning has offered. “Sit on the counter and look pretty for me while I finish up with the bacon.” 

“Aye aye, Captain.” You giggle after saluting her, wiggling out of her arms and sliding your way up onto the countertop that’s practically become your designated spot since she stopped reprimanding you about sitting up here. Natasha crosses the little space between the edge of the island to where you’re perched watching Wanda cook, and you hum in pleasure when she leans forward to connect your lips. 

Your hands wrap around her shoulders and fingers tangle into the baby hairs at the nape of her neck. You smile into the kiss, beyond content with the little bubble that’s existed around you since being roused from sleep at five in the morning. A shriek of surprised laughter fills the kitchen when Natasha pulls away from your lips and buries her face in the crock of your neck, a raspberry tickling the sensitive skin as she blows against it. You squirm away from the sensation, but your arms still keep her locked in place. 

“Hi, Natty.” You giggle, tugging gently at the loose curls that your fingers are twisted between. She smiles at your happiness, pecking your lips a handful of times before she pulls away and whispers back the same greeting. “You smell like the beach.” You point out, giggling at Natasha’s extravagant eye roll. 

“You both smell like the beach and will be taking a shower after breakfast.” Wanda chimed into the conversation, tapping your thigh in warning as she opened the cabinet just beside your head. It had become routine at this point for her to simply work around you, so the clattering of plates beside your ear didn’t bother you much. 

When she turned around to grab the serving plate of belgian waffles on the island, your hand shot out to slap her ass, all thoughts of controlling your limbs forgotten. But really, who could blame you when she was wearing the shortest cotton shorts that had ever been sold in stores? Natasha had to bury her face in your neck to muffle her laughter, and you could feel her wide grin against your skin as you smirked innocently back at Wanda who set a firm glare in your direction. 

“Behave yourself.” She warned half-heartedly, absolutely no bite to her warning as you’d all just accepted the natural occurrence of the day, your roles as dominant and submissive forgotten about. You liked this exchange, not because you felt any less their equal when they bossed you around and set expectations upon your shoulders, but because it was the faintest glimpse at what life could be if they weren’t married and you were really their girlfriend. “Don’t even think about it, Natalia.” Wanda warned, already knowing Natasha was about to do the same thing you had been bold enough to accomplish. 

The redhead merely smirked and shrugged her shoulders, feigning innocence as she pulled away from your embrace and brought the drink glasses and pitcher into the dining room. You hopped off the counter the same as you always do, mimicking Natasha’s shrug when Wanda winced at the action. You grabbed the platter of bacon from her hands and followed after the lawyer who had already exited, eager to see where the day ended up, surrounded by the Maximoff’s closest friends and family members. 

-

The shower water was hot enough to create a thick fog on the glass doors and surrounding mirrors in the en-suite master bathroom, but still it felt cold as you joined Natasha beneath the heavy and unrelenting spray. You shivered despite the heat, reaching for the handle and turning it up even hotter, ignoring the Russian’s protests that her skin was actively melting off her bones. You liked hot showers, but you hated hot baths, and somehow you had yet to find a happy medium that worked for the both of you. Typically you’d compromise and switch off between who melted and who froze, and although it was admittedly your turn to freeze, today was not a day where you were willing to sacrifice feeling in your appendages.  

You silenced her whines with a desperate kiss, not even attempting to hide your need for her as you backed her up against the cold tile walls and pinned her hands to her sides. Your tongue was unrelenting as it licked and sucked at hers, tasting the minty toothpaste that she had rinsed from her mouth only minutes before you’d sought out her presence. When your teeth bit down on her tongue, just hard enough to send a shock of excitement down to her core, Natasha decided that being pliant in your hold wasn’t working for her. 

You shrieked in surprise when your position switched easily, the hands that had been firmly holding her wrists against the wall now pinned at your sides in the same way. You arched away from the cold tiles, effectively smashing your chests and eager nipples together as you attempted to run away from the cold wall.

“Fuck!” You shivered, your lips ghosting over hers. “You have a fucking Stingray and you still haven’t discovered heated walls?! What’s the point of having money if you don’t use it for good things!” Your words were quickly replaced by breathy moans as Natasha attached her mouth to your chest and greedily sucked a mark into your untouched skin; a mark that wouldn’t be easily hidden, especially not with the swimsuit you had been intending on wearing for the party. “Fuck, Nat–” You pushed her head away, hoping you’d acted quick enough for the damage to be only minimal. The smirk on her lips told you that you hadn’t succeeded, and you slapped at her shoulder in exasperation. “Your sister is literally going to be here in two hours, can you contain your vampire impulses until she leaves?!” 

“My sister has fucked her girlfriend in my guest bedroom. A hickey should be the least of her worries.” Natasha threw back at you, attacking her mouth to your nipple with purpose. You had ten minutes to sort yourselves out before Wanda came stomping up the stairs and pulling you out of the shower, orgasms or not. You did not want to spend the entire afternoon and evening hot and bothered because you got pussy blocked by a scary Sokovian. 

Natasha’s teeth pulled at your nipple, allowing the skin to sting for only a second before she soothed the pain with quick flicks of her tongue. Your other nipple was not privy to the same treatment, but her stumbling fingers attempted to make up for the neglect as she rolled and pinched at the pebbled bud. You shoved her head away from your chest, forcing her down onto her knees and in the direction of where you needed her most. It occurred to you briefly that you should wash her hair as she ate you out, kill two birds with one stone or whatever the saying was, but you quickly backtracked on that idea when her tongue sought out your clit with no lack of drive. Your knees wobbled, your breath got caught in your throat, and desperately your fingers tangled into her hair and pulled her closer. Your hips grinded against her face as she licked and sucked at your nerve with a passion, and you're certain that had the droplets of liquid fire not been falling over her face in a manner that was less than pretty, her chin would’ve glistened with your arousal. 

You arched into her touch as your orgasm approached, and Natasha had used the new position of your body as the perfect moment to bury two fingers knuckles deep in your cunt. You gasped in pleasure at the brief sting that came from her actions, crying out her name in pure bliss as she worked you over the edge so quickly you deserved an award for fastest achieved orgasm. 

She pulled away with dilated pupils, her own lust not forgotten about. You sank to your knees before her, pushing at her shoulders until she complied with your silent request and was laid out on the shower floor. Unlike you, she didn’t attempt to wiggle away from the flush of cold against her back, and unlike her, you didn’t waste time toying with her nipples. You dove straight into her cunt, lifting one of her legs until it was high enough to drop onto your shoulder. She tasted like she always did, but something about this situation made her more addictive. The spray of the water fell onto her belly, harsh droplets of water tinting the skin pink from not only the temperature but the pressure. One of these days, you’re going to get around to finding out the true pleasure of the detachable shower head, but today was not that day. You didn’t tease, much more intent at working her up and pushing her over before Wanda came to interrupt. Her clit throbbed beneath your tongue as you licked at her, and her walls clenched around your fingers as she pleaded for more. 

“Faster.” She moaned, her head thrown back against the white shower floors. The messy sprawl of her red hair was perfectly angelic, but you had no time to dwell on the sight of her as the minutes ticked down to none. Your fingers set into her at a punishing pace, curling into the sweet spot she loved so much until it was just a symphony of your name that rolled off her tongue in breathy whines and moans. You eased her off of the cliff with a practiced ease, giggling softly when she pushed your head away and subsequently caused water to spray in all directions as it bounced off her wrist. “N-Never letting you talk me into a shower quickie again. I think there’s an entire lake in my ears.” She panted, splaying a hand across her belly until she had managed to catch her breath. 

“I mean, technically I didn’t talk you into anything. I mouthed you into this.” You giggled, helping her stand and replacing your rough touch with something tender and sweet. You reached for Wanda’s shampoo, not caring that Natasha had her own right beside it. Wanda’s smelled sweeter, and if you were going to be the one to wash the woman’s hair, it would be you who picked the scene she bore for the rest of the day. 

You rubbed at her scalp, lathered until it bubbled, and eased your fingers through the knotted locks when it was time to wash it out. Wanda’s conditioner sat in her hair when the process was repeated on your head, and you sighed in relief when Natasha scratched her nails against the nape of your neck before trailing her hands down to your shoulders. Her thumbs worked on the soft muscles between your shoulder blades, and you melted into the firm attention. 

“How long can we stay in here before she breaks down the door?” You questioned, your eyes fluttering closed as you let yourself relax completely. Even if you hadn’t said it, you were beyond nervous to be meeting their family and friends. Some of the people attending their barbeque were big names in the security world, namely Kate Bishop, and you intended on making the best first impression if you were to ever have a career in the same field. 

“Three minutes.” Natasha chuckled gently, guiding you under the stream of water so she could rinse the soap from your hair. She conditioned you right after, twisting the strands of your hair between her fingers as she worked out the knots and kinks toward the ends. You rinsed her hair when she was done, dragged a loofa across her skin afterward, and then were rewarded with the same loving treatment. “There’s nothing to be nervous about. Everyone coming knows how much you mean to us. They’re all excited to meet you.” Natasha kissed your shoulder before she turned the water off and squeegeed the door clean of droplets and steam, stepping out into the cold first before she offered you a towel. 

“I know.” You sighed, drying your body as you tried to force your feelings into words. “I just want to make a good impression. These are your friends. It’s your sister. They matter to you and Wanda.” 

“And you matter to me and Wanda just as much. If you’re worried about Yelena, there’s no reason to be. She’s going to act like she hates you because she thinks it's her duty as my little sister to vet whoever I choose to spend my time with, but by the end of the night she’s going to have you trapped by the firepit showing you pictures of her dog. When she met Wanda for the first time, she insulted her in Russian because she thought she wouldn’t understand.” Natasha snorted at the memory, and you couldn’t help but grin bashfully at the admission. “You’re going to get along fine, and honestly that worries me. I can barely handle you by yourself.” 

“Hey!” You slapped at her side, but couldn’t help the wide smile that threatened to split your lips in half as you stared up at her. “I’ll be on my best behavior, promise.” 

“I don’t doubt that, утенок.” Natasha leaned forward to kiss your lips, and you returned the gesture though a crinkle of confusion settled across your brows. 

You asked once she pulled away, wrapping the towel tightly around your torso so that you could make a break for the guest bedroom where your outfit for the day remained. “What does that one mean?” 

“Duckling.” She laughed, and you groaned knowing that it was going to stick around, at least for a little while. You’d been quite privy to Wanda in recent days, call it making up for lost time if you really had to explain your reasonings, and both the Russian and Sokovian had chalked up your clinginess as acts of a duckling blindly following its mother. If Wanda was anywhere in the house, you were right behind her. Yesterday you had genuinely pouted at the bathroom door when she forbade you from coming in with her when she needed to pee, and unluckily enough for you, Natasha had come into the bedroom at just the right time to watch the scene unfold. “Go get dressed. Yelena said she’s arriving at twelve which really means she’ll be here in twenty minutes.”  

You nodded quickly, bolting out of the master bathroom and into your claimed bedroom without a moment of hesitance, not wanting Yelena to arrive before you were dressed. The door wasn’t even fully closed before you were dropping your towel and scrambling to find your bathing suit bottoms in the pile of messy clothes stacked on the dresser. 

-

Droplets of chlorinated water lingered on touches of skin that had yet to be dried by the slowly slipping Spring sun; still a ripple of motion in the pool that hadn’t yet gone completely still with the fresh absence of bodies in the water. The crack of wood submitting to controlled flames accompanied the music of laughter and conversation that happened around you. The evening was long ahead of you, eternal more hours of company promised, but you didn’t feel any obligation to join in on jokes and memories as you fell into Wanda’s lap and snuggled in close, seeking her warmth and comfort as a chill set overtop of you. You’d been drinking all afternoon, being handed hard seltzers and beers whenever anyone noticed your hands were empty. You’d finished a handful of Wanda and Natasha’s chosen drinks, taking it upon yourself to try at least one of every flavor they had laying around the backyard. The flush on your cheeks was near permanent at this point, and though the heat in your ears would be gone by morning and replaced with a headache only Advil and sleep could soothe, the kiss on your cheeks would last days before it settled into darkened skin. 

As promised, Yelena had kept you pinned to the edge of the pool when the sun was still at its highest peak in the sky, showing you pictures and videos of the two dogs she took great pride in caring for. Kate had watched for a while, draped across her girlfriend's shoulder as the three of you laughed at a particular video of Fanny and Lucky dressed up in bowties zooming around their daylight drenched kitchen, but she had excused herself to the bathroom before the end was in sight. Maria Hill had been your savior, though you were content with Yelena’s easy presence not to mind your trapped position much while it had lasted. The early hours of the afternoon had been filled with conversation and the act of acquainting, but the later hours had told a different story; a wild one. It was the story of how you had come to find this state of mind, far past the point of being tipsy and well on your way to true drunkness. 

You hummed when Wanda laid her palm flat over your belly, keeping you close and safe in her lap. The soft pad of her thumb tickled your belly button as she adjusted slowly, sinking further down into the lounge chair she sprawled across. The sloppy smile on your face was the truest indication of your contentment, and Wanda, though she wondered who had been the one to feed you so much alcohol without her realizing, returned the grin. 

Natasha and Yelena were noticeably missing from the circle, but the silhouettes of their wild hair and toned shoulders were figures or darkness in the kitchen that promised a quick return. Natasha, though only an inch or so taller than her sister, wore her curls in a messy bun that slipped lower and lower down her head as the hours carried on. She was easiest to spot from a distance, the shadow of her presence known perfectly to you. Wanda didn’t pay you much attention other than the firm hand on your belly, but you were content to just be with her as she laughed and caught up with the blonde woman sat beside her; Carol Danvers. 

“They put up a new plaque for Pietro today.” Carol laughed at the inkling of information she had forgotten to share earlier in the afternoon, and Wanda craned her head in hopeful willingness that Carol would share more. “He would’ve loved it. He’s the only bastard on the squad that was dumb enough to have a catch phrase.” 

As if that mentioned catch phrase had been sitting on the lips of every person gathered around the fire, it fell from soft tongues without a moment of hesitation. Messy, not at all in tune, but seemingly perfect to Wanda who smiled when horrible Sokovian accents caught up to her ears and the words her brother had made his slogan lived on when even he didn’t, “You didn’t see that coming.” 

Memorial day has never held much significance to you. It had been just another holiday that sat on the start of summer, sometimes warm enough for gatherings like these, and sometimes not. Until you realized that the American flag folded in militant perfection in the master bedroom was a symbol of remembrance, you hadn’t thought it held much significance to the CEO’s either. Even though you hadn’t known Pietro, his life ending years before your path had crossed with the Maximoff’s, you smiled. His name had lingered in conversations throughout the day, and you didn’t question how loved he still was after years of absence. 

Wanda’s lips were heavy on the crown of your head when she leaned down to kiss you. You leaned into the touch, your eyes fluttering closed for the briefest second before they opened and found Natasha admiring the sight of you. Two beers retrieved from the cooler near the pool sat in her hands, one cracked open and extended in your direction. 

“She doesn’t need anymore.” Wanda rolled her eyes, but didn’t stop you from grabbing the long necked bottle Natasha offered and adjusting yourself in her lap so that you could sip on it easily, having already spilled one drink down the front of you. With your back against her chest, and your legs situated between hers, you had to crane your neck to catch even the slightest glimpse of her face, but her arms around your torso were the physical assurance of her presence. She rubbed at the skin of your belly that had grown pink and warm beneath the sun, not yet tan, but it would come soon. The hickey on your chest had long since been forgotten, though Yelena had posed many questions of its origin before Kate slapped her shoulder and changed the topic. You’d been accepted without question, and you found that while some of their friends were painfully intimidating, Maria and Carol, they were truly sweethearts who had the same tendencies of protection as your dominants. 

When your beer had grown warm, and your cheeks had grown flusher, having been in no hurry to finish it off and replenish it like Yelena was doing, you passed the near empty bottle off to Natasha who had taken it not without an exasperated roll of her eyes and a mumbled sentence along the lines of being nothing but your servant. You had giggled, shrugged your shoulders, and curled further into Wanda who didn’t seem to even flinch at your elbow digging into her ribs. 

Despite your determination to remain awake, sleep won over you just as quickly as drunkenness had. Wanda merely rubbed your back in encouragement, being the single factor that had forced you into soft unconsciousness when conversations still buzzed around you. With your eyes closed and your breathing even, no chance of being woken even by the harshest storm, conversation had naturally flowed away from Pietro and onto you, but both Wanda and Natasha welcomed the new topic if it meant having the welcomed opportunity to boast about just how truly sweet you are. 

“I see you played the long game, Maximoff.” Maria winked at the Sokovian, her icy blue eyes admiring your innocent form as you attempted to wiggle closer to the auburn haired women who held you tightly. If you could find a way to burrow yourself beneath her skin, she knew that you would’ve done so already. 

“Patience rewards those who have it.” Wanda merely smirked in response, running her pruney fingers from hours of holding sweating cans and bottles through your chlorine stiff hair. “She just needed a little encouragement.” 

“She wasn’t the only one.” Natasha rolled her eyes, sipping slowly on her beer that despite the warmth, still brought a piece of home over her longing heart. Russians may drink vodka, but Melina Vostokoff had always preferred a beer. 

Wanda shrugged, knowing that despite her persistently cold demeanor, she had never truly doubted how her heart yearned for you. “It’s not my fault you brought home a brat.” 

“If I remember correctly, you said the same thing when you met Natasha.” Carol smirked over the lip of her can, her eyes burning holes into the side of Natasha’s face, though the Russian pointedly ignored her stare. 

“Watch it, Danvers.” She warned, but surrendered to the teasing she had missed in recent months. Life was busy, but they’d always find a reason to come back together.

[distressxox]

Headcanons: The Ghoulettes + Mountain first meeting / Developing a crush on you

Part 1

Here's part 2 :p IM SO SORRY MOUNTAIN GHOUL ENJOYERS HERE'S YOUR FOOD

Cumulus

• She immediately stands out to you because of her long, curly, white hair. She flashed you a smile and welcomed you to the team.

• The more you got to know her, the more she stood out as the mom-friend of the group.

• Bascically adopts you into the ghoul-friend group. Anyone says anything bad about you will have the 'lioness' to deal with.

• You help her with practicing piano and keyboard. She likes to harmonize with your voice, and sometimes she sings along.

• Winter arrives and the fire ghouls are usually working to heat up the ministry. She invites you to cuddle, since that's what ghouls do to preserve body temperature.

• Presing your body close to hers, you tuck your head under her chin. She whispers an 'Oh my' as she feels her heart beat getting faster. She purred as you fell asleep in her arms.

• Swiss wanted to join, but she growled and swiped at him. "My bad"

• That's a thing that became more common between you two, even if it wasn't cold outside anymore.

• She starts to fuss over you more like she's your wife, which you jokingly call her.

Cirrus

• Is pretty similar to Mist, the only thing that's different is how quickly her mood changes. It's super scary

• At first she was stone faced like the previous Era of ghouls, but as soon as you said hi she was smiles and rainbows.

• Was the one who seemed the most trust worthy at the time, so she's your main ghoul to talk to.

• Pretty playful and flirty, like a mix of Aurora and Swiss. Loves it when you pet her or scratch under her chin.

• Started to feel more attracted to you once she realized her attraction to you wasn't just friendship. It was romantic. Pretty simple when she came to terms with it.

• Overthinks her crush. Is it real? Is it just ghoul hormones or your pheromones? Does she just want you, or does she want all of you?

• Gets jealous pretty easily. Doesn't like it when the Ghouls flirt with you, or you give them attention.

• Almost starts a fight with another ghoul because they stared little too long at you

Aurora

• Is bascically the stereotype of that one girl that wants/ is friends with everyone.

• Very excited to meet you, shakes your hand vigorously. Introduces you to the rest of the ghoulettes instead of letting them do it.

• "Yeah, Aurora's one of the newer ghouls" Cirrus tells you.

• Wants to hang out with you 24/7. You are her bestie afterall! Sleepovers, making friendship bracelets, gossip or shit talking. Her personality is heavily inspired by chickflicks.

• Her hair is naturally a very light green which fades into a dark blue at her roots. One day she decides she wants to dye some strands a neon pink. You help her ofc.

• You had changed into a shirt that was way too big on you, it slid down your shoulders and it took every ounce of her willpower not to shove her nose in her neck. The smell of a human was irresistible to a ghoul.

• "Shit, I can't get this one spot" you sit on her lap and hold her face while you use the brush to finish the bangs. Her ears turned red and her tail wrapped around your leg.

• "Uh, Rora. You good?" "Yeah totally!"

• Didn't keep it a secret that she had a crush on you when talking to the other Ghouls.

• "Ugh I want them so bad" "(Reader) and I already have 27 children in the scenario in my head" "I would kill for them ngl"

Mist

• The most imposing ghoulette, despite her stature.

• Doesn't say anything the first time you see eachother. She only stares you down, watching your every move.

• She's so serious at first, so you start teasing her. The Era 1-3 ghouls have darker skin, so a way you could tell she was blushing was when her cheeks turned a dark purple.

• Doesn't want to admit it, like it all. But she loves it when you tease her.

• "Where's (Reader)?" "They're in the left wing working today. Why?" "Nothing, if you tell (Reader) I asked about them I will end you"

• Not good at emotions. At all. Conflicted all the time because she fell in love so quickly. She has never been in love. Never.

• Refuses to talk about it with the others so she doesn't ruin her 'tough chick' persona.

• One time you snuck up behind her and poked her waist. She let out the cutest whine/yelp you had ever heard. She chased you around though.

• Also very protective

Mountain

• Oh where do I begin.

• Scares the living shit out of you because of how tall he is, by accident because bro just appeared out of the ground and dusted the dirt off his shoulders.

• Doesn't usually interact with the siblings of sin if at all. He's afraid of them

• Is actually very sweet though, he thinks you're a little weird at first. Not a bad weird, just very unusual.

• Stuff you say is usually hilarious. Your humor shocks him at first, but he gets used to it

• Mountain is usually very stressed, there's a lot going on in his head. Practice, more practice, duties, mental health. But for some reason, the loud thoughts in his head disappear when you say "hello"

• When you're not looking, he'll put flowers in your hair until you notice them.

• Ofcourse he knows he's in love, the earth ghouls at usually the ones most aware of emotion.

• When he follows you around the lawns and the gardens, a small patch of purple flowers are left in his footsteps

[yuurivoice]

Im so sorry but is Al's hair naturally black or pink?? I feel like the obvious answer is black but if I remember correctly (again, could be wrong) when jackie drew his dilfy designs his roots were pink. I just dont wanna assume error 🙏

The psychic damage I am taking from these questions is immeasurable and we're going to hit a point where I'm either going to just not answer certain things or I'll end up imploding. 😂

In the beginning...I just wanted a pink haired fuckin guy. I was using anime logic. His hair was pink. There was no thought beyond that because he's a two-dimensional fictional lad. It simply was.

Then came the questions. God. The questions.

Does he dye his hair? Why are his eyebrows black? Is his natural hair color black?

Those were dark times.

BitterSweet Chapter 3 created an opportunity for Dark Mode Alphonse, and we established that yes.....his natural hair color is black.

Today I was asked the pedantic question about Al's body hair...which just about took me out, but we made it through.

Now this.

Bubba his hair looks that way because I thought it fuckin looked cool. The rules of real hair, what his natural hair color is, and any other such business can suck my cock. He is a 2D dilf designed to look as fuckable as possible...why in the name of GOD are we worrying about his natural hair color?

Mind you, we have canonically seen black haired childhood Alphonse in photos twice. Two different pictures, even! 😂

Is there some boogeyman out there heckling people for being "wrong" about things like natural hair color? Is someone wagging their finger or being a shit about accuracy in depictions in fanart or something? Because it sure as hell is not me, and it shouldn't be anyone at all because none of that shit actually matters.

Yes his natural hair color is black. He's got pink highlights I guess? It looks cool, so that's why it is what it is.

I think there is a fundamental difference in the way I personally engage with shit that I like, because I cannot comprehend or envision a world where I would ever approach the creator of a thing to ask a question like this, or would even wonder about those details because they are so miniscule a thing to ponder when you could be spending time considering, imagining, creating a million other things that are vastly more exciting and intriguing than being correct about a fictional character's natural hair color.

I'm not upset with you, or angry, none of that. I'm befuddled. Absolutely bumfizzled. Questioning my sanity, because I am so far removed from caring about this sort of thing in regards to fictional characters that the rift is unfathomable.

If questions like these are inspired by an anxiety about being correct, I implore you to be wrong more often. You'll quickly find that no one of import is actually going to care, and you'll get out of the way of your own enjoyment of the thing. I don't know if there's some sort of widely held opinion in fandoms that being this granular is necessary, but it certainly is not the vibe in this neck of the woods.

This has been a long and unexpected installment of Old Man Yells At Cloud. 😂

[doginasillyhat]

yo gang another hiccup fic. if the pacing is off i’m so sorry i shaved like 600 words off it because it got too off topic. also i think the lack of more hiccuping is because im still getting used to writing this stuff without being embarrassed LMAO

cannibalism fic coming soon :) started it today and it is Very Fun hehe

content warning for:

not a lot! hiccuping mostly, but there’s no real obvious arousal from skipper. she’s just kind of into her husband all around. but it was WRITTEN for kink enjoyment even if there’s like none of it because of the aforementioned deep rooted embarrassment within myself. i luv my ocs guyse :)

Skipper yawned, put the car in park, and took a moment in the car to breathe. She loved modeling deeply - her choice in career path was not something that she’d ever regret. But she had just spent six hours on set wearing sundresses for the upcoming spring season in the chill of mid-winter, her hair and makeup constantly switching to match the next design she was modeling. It was a wonder that her extremities hadn’t frozen off yet. It felt close to it.

Now, in the comfort of the heated car, wearing her favourite moss green cardigan with the cute little embroidered sheep on the pockets, Skipper could exist in silence for the first time that day.

She loved her husband. Honestly, the only thing getting her through the day was the joy that came bubbling under the surface, knowing that Elliot was waiting for her. His day off had coincided with the gig, unfortunately, but Elliot had promised that he’d do all the chores for her so that she had nothing to worry about. Skipper loved it when he acted all househusband-y; one day she’d convince him to wear that little apron she had bought. Although, she knew he’d probably rather die than wear it, even if it was only for her in the safety of their bedroom.

Taking one more breath, Skipper opened the door to her car and stepped out into the cool winter air. Her boots clicked against the concrete pathway that led from the driveway to the house. The house was on the smaller side, coloured a soft brown with a dark roof, shrubbery sitting beside the three steps that led up to the front door. She gazed at the plant life. It would be time to clip it back soon.

She opened the door and stepped inside. Immediately the warm of the heater burrowed into her cold skin, warming her from inside out. She shrugged off the cardigan, draping it over her arm.

“Hi baby, I’m home.”

Elliot didn’t answer. She assumed that the man couldn’t hear her over the sound of the television. The television wasn’t usually up so loud. It wasn’t worrying, of course; just confusing.

She sat by the front door on the little bench they kept close by, taking off her boots and then sitting them by the door, all nice and ordered, before she made her way deeper into the house.

The hallway led to an archway to the right, which led into the living room. The television was on, of course, showing some kind of superhero film from Netflix. She could see Elliot’s socked feet hanging over the side of the couch. He was too tall for the couch when he tried to lay on it lengthwise. Skipper herself was close to being too tall.

“Hey,” she greeted her husband, leaning over the back of the couch to press a kiss to his head. He flinched in surprise, rolling onto his back to meet her gaze. He looked bashfully at her.

“Hi,” he answered, voice tense. There was a pause before he answered again, chest jumping.

Skipper raised a brow, lips curling into an amused smile. “Hi,” she said for the third time. “You good?”

“Yeah - hmk! Ugh. Hiccups.”

His cheeks flushed, he cleared his throat, only causing another squeaky hip! to escape his lips.

“Why’s the television up so high?”

“I’m- hmk! I’m losing f- hilp! focus. The,” another pause, and he visibly tried to swallow back another hiccup. “Hiccups are too loud.”

Skipper giggled, finding the situation quite funny, and super cute. Gosh, everything Elliot did was so cute.

“Hmm, that’s no good,” she teased, walking around the couch to perch herself on the edge of the couch, her manicured fingers carding through his hair. Elliot’s lips were pressed together. He had bemoaned at length that he disliked how squeaky his hiccups were, and indeed, they were. At least, for more masculine standards. It wasn’t like Skipper had a lot of experience hearing men hiccup, really, having spent her childhood in private all-girl schools, and then years in a female modeling agency surrounded by women.

Elliot didn’t seem particularly bothered by the hiccups, but he had always been more inclined to embarrassment than anything. He was soft, easily flustered. Years of walking around in front of strangers in dresses barely covering her backside, tripping over her own heels, or her skirt catching and ripping on snags in sets had left Skipper less prone to embarrassment, able to take things in stride better than her husband.

“It’s been.. HUP!” (at that surprisingly loud hiccup, Elliot flushed deeper and shifted his gaze away from Skipper) “It’s b-hilk! been like, forty-five mhilk! minutes since it started.”

Skipper made a sympathetic hum. “Guessing nothing helped?”

He shook his head, eyes trained on the television. “I mhk! I did chores, by the way.”

Smiling, she leaned down and pressed a kiss to his head again. “Oh, you’re a sweetheart. You’re perfect.”

Flustered, Elliot sat up and pushed Skipper away. His head rocked back as another hiccup, sufficiently muffled by his closed mouth, thumped his chest. Clearing his throat, he knocked his elbow with hers.

“‘m not per- HMK! perfect, Skipper.”

“You are, but sure. Let’s pretend, for like, a minute that you aren’t - what’s your damage babe! I think it’s at the very very super duper least that, like, doing all the chores is a perfectly gentlemanly thing to do for your wife!”

Elliot considered that, exhaling slowly through his nose, the action interspersed with his hiccups. His face screwed up. “I d- hmk! don’t know if I hulp! agree, Skip.”

Sitting herself on her husband’s lap, the blonde giggled. Her thin hands cupped his cheeks, thumbs brushing over his skin, and then slowly trailed down his neck, his chest. Her eyes shifted to her hands, watching as they jumped every time his chest did. She could feel his heart thumping against her palms through the fabric of his shirt.

“Hmm, did I ask if you agreed?” She teased. “I don’t recall asking for your opinion. Why are you so against it, anyway!”

Skipper leaned forward, pressing her forehead against his. He responded by opening his mouth to protest, although with another soft hiccup he closed his mouth again. She kissed the tip of his nose, moving down to kiss his throat. The feeling of the hitching against her lips was euphoric. He whined softly at her kissing. Having him at her mercy was always her favorite.

“Hilp! Stop, Skipper,” he huffed, another sharp hiccup interrupting his breathing as he exhaled shakily. Skipper’s teeth caught the soft skin of his throat, letting out a quiet giggle, her lips sucking at his skin.

“Not until you stop ruining this with your hiccups.”

Almost instinctively, Elliot pointedly held his breath, Skipper pulling back and grinning at her husband. Her hands rested on his chest, waiting impatiently.

[gizkasparadise]

2023 wrapped: kdrama edition!

taking a page from @dangermousie, here's a list of all the kdramas ive watched this year, in order from least liked to most liked! because i dont have a spotify wrap-up to share :'D

cdrama one here!

and i'll do a webtoon one too /o/

overall i didnt watch too many kdramas this year, and finished less. kind of a "meh" kdrama year for me overall (with 1-2 exceptions). with that in mind, full disclosure that i didnt love a ton of what i watched this year in kdramaland:

we barely knew ye: ones i dropped only a few eps in

sweet home 2. dropped after ep 2. direction it went in is v much not my thing, my fave surviving characters were either killed off or put on the bench, and im not that motivated to see what happens next. might jump back into the franchise if word-of-mouth on s3 is good, we'll see

moon in the day. first ep was actually great and i enjoyed it a lot!! but im not doing cancer storylines rn so that killed momentum. may try this one again later

king the land. watched the first ep. simply did not vibe.

death's game. ditto ^

black knight. i LOVE a good dystopian scifi. this was not that. i was really bored after the first ep and didnt bother with the rest

my dearest. i watched the first ep and liked it, but just wasnt in the mood/wasn't immediately hooked. i'm going to give this one another try when i hit the Angsty Sageuk craving again

dramas i watched at least half of

6. twinkling watermelon.

it's pretty wild to put what i believe is the current #1 show on mydramalist as my bottom pick for the year, especially since it's written by my favorite screenwriter, but here we are. this one is far from objectively the worst drama but it's here because it made me the most mad!! the female lead and second male leads were both off-putting and selfish to me, and the whole drama i was actively rooting for ryeoun's earnest and endearing male lead and shin eun soo's underwritten second female lead to escape and have mother/son adventures on their own away from the rest of everyone else

5. arthdal chronicles: sword of aramun.

sigh. i was a big believer/supporter of this season, even with all of the recasts. but despite a few moments of brilliance, it was overall a slog to watch and just kind of joyless. too much time spent on the ago tribe, too many nonsensical victories and deus ex machina coincidences, and the bag was very much fumbled with some of the characters (particularly saya, who was to me the most interesting character in s1 and you KNOW ljk could have rocked that ruthlessness). positive standouts were kim ok bin flawlessly scene-chewing as taealha and lee joon ki working what he was dealt

4. worst of evil.

adored this drama for the first 2/3rds! it was gritty, neo-noir that reminded me a lot of the old school hong kong crime films like infernal affairs. lots of style, great acting, messy and flawed characters. but the last arc/ending was a boring dud for me. still very much enjoyed the ride up to that point though!

3. perfect marriage revenge.

so! much!! fun!!! just. full commitment to making a show as gloriously makjang/soap operay as it could get and it was a blast watching because of it. made on pocket lint for a budget but it rocked what it had and a special shoutout to lee min young's absolutely fantastically camp evil stepmother. the excitement died down a little toward the end, but still a good time overall

2. the glory, part 2.

a satisfying ending to a really excellent first half. love that the female lead just got to execute revenge and there was no moral or sanctimonious hangups about it. enjoyed the way the ending was set up as "the adventure continues," and all in all this was a really solid and enjoyable dark drama! only thing that was kind of a bummer is that the time split between airing the first and second halves killed the momentum a little, but that's entirely netflix fuckery and not the fault of the show

moving

hands-down the best kdrama i watched this year, and possibly my favorite kdrama ever. i didnt plan to watch this one because im sick of superhero everything, but the cast got me wanting to at least try it and omg im glad i did. great acting from literally everyone, wild action scenes, and just beautiful characters and dynamics across every level. the family narratives are so, so good and the whole show is expertly grounded in the concept of planting seeds so your children can see flowers. please give this one a try if you're on the fence about it!

2023 kdramas that i plan to watch (but didnt get to yet!)

my lovely liar

a good day to be a dog

my perfect stranger

revenant

mask girl

bloodhounds

my demon

AWARDS

Favorite ship: juwon and jihee from moving absolutely destroyed me in the like 3 eps they were in, so they win this one. he's a gangster who gets the shit kicked out of him for a living and loves stories with happy endings. she's a weary but always brave sex worker (coded, but still) who decides to trust a lonely man crying in the street. i never thought a motion-sensor light could wreck me the way theirs did. "you have worth to me, and i have worth to you."

Favorite FL: song hye kyo's dong eun in the glory just barely edges out han hyo joo's mihyun in moving. song hye kyo needs to play, like, all the villains and anti-heroes ASAP because that's been the most fun ive had watching her. she took on a dark character and rocked it

Favorite ML: juwon from moving, definitely. to quote my older post:

Moving really said hi this is Juwon. he has scars from gunshots all down his arm. he opened a chicken restaurant. he’s a gangster. he loves pro wrestling because the good guys win. he tried to rip out his own galbladder to prove a point. he’s a proud girl dad. he is unkillable. he stands in the street and cries.

Favorite 2FL: lee min young's incredible, over the top, villainous camp queen lee jung hye from perfect marriage revenge was just so much fun to watch and she ate every single scene she was in. 10/10 would watch her throw lawn chairs in a ballgown all day

Favorite 2ML: i would die for bongseok from moving. precious sunshine child who deserves only the best

Best Cast: im a broken record, but moving. so many characters with such great depth given to them and this was truly an ensemble show A+++

Best WTF: yura eating her paternity results in perfect marriage revenge!!

[catboygirljoker]

Pretty confident IMO if Dark Road had been allowed to go on for longer than it was, apparently it was rushed to finish its story before the app was set to go offline, there probably would've been more for Bragi development like there would've been for the upperclassmen since they're also rather underdeveloped/explored. Unfortunately we'll likely not know for sure :(

Here's hoping for Missing Link to show us more mobile phone game tragedies and mysteries, I wanna get my self insert oc a dinner at one of the places in Scalatown also

i knew that the app was rushed out the door at the end, i dont think i knew whether the story itself had been rushed—interesting if true! i did feel that the ending was a little weird, that the Baldr reveal kinda came out of nowhere. like i knew going in that he was the main antagonist, but i didn't feel that it was set up or developed super well in the story, yknow?

i do like bragi as he is in the story at present, because i like being starved lmao, i like having to dig and root and snuffle for bits of spare characterization like a dam truffle hog, and i think it really works that he blends into the background and doesn't draw much attention to himself unless you know who he is (it's Theames and Motifes you see). but on the other hand. would i have complained about getting more Bragi Content? would my sensibilities as a Stories Enjoyer have been offended if i'd been given a few more truffles to hunt for? i do think it's possible for a character to be too well-developed—if they're not a primary character, that could end up detracting from the work, occupying time that would have been better spent developing the core of the story—but like. consider the truffles. im so tired i need to go to bed

[sunlightandsuffering]

lys, hi. this video randomly popped up on my fb -- yes, it's the most accessible socmed platform where im from - feed (a friend shared it), and i just got so sad again.

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/neA4nN4tMTANdAwo/?mibextid=uSdriS

obviously, this is fiction, right? and i usually am so good at releasing it all out once im done internalizing it in my head. it's very stressful lol but i think it makes media content enjoyable, at least for this sort of media. the song isn't really something i've given a second listen - or even a full listen - but oh it works so well for this scene.

but i just get so sad, so incredibly sad whenever i think about canon eremika. as a sucker for well-meaning (lol) angst, their story was so beautifully written, but damn. i think i said this in an ask years ago...that i read your work as some sort of escapism, like 'oh it ends well for both of them' kind of thing. i dont ever do that with other anime/manga/fandom-centric entertainment etc; thinking about them just hurts a bit too much for an irl feeling. i need to think of them happy and flirty and cranky and just alive in that silly little place in my head reserved for media consumption. little nico doesnt hurt too

tbh, we cant really ask for canonical representations right? most writers dont write them that way anyway, but i feel like i could see canon eremika in your works, if they were ever given the chance to live out different lives in different worlds, haha. ig that's what happens when the emotional range has been fleshed out in canon material (tho at what cost??).

until know, i still cant laugh at those memes of mikasa developing an attachment to birds and whatnot because it's just really sad. lol like the dark humor doesn't work for me here.

anyway, that's all! i hope you're doing ok. maybe im just feeling blue because i just had a session of root canal treatment and the cost + post-session pain make me want to sob too. considering a dental implant after all this because if im going to go thru this, might as well do it for something that's guaranteed to last lifetime (with good bones & proper care ofc)

sending you my love, in the most non-weird way, if that's possible haha

AWW ANON SENDING U MY LOVE RIGHT BACK !!! I have never had a root canal but I think both my parents have and they fucking suck from the sounds of it, so wishing you a speedy recovery!!

oh god the fucking song tho 😂😭 i don't think ur alone, that song kind of hits different, I feel like I saw it on insta reels or something recently and I was definitely crying. I ALSO JUST CRY A LOT THO !! I was crying bc I watched the fast and the furious the other day , like who am I?? Media has the ability to bring it out in you!! Especialyl AOT!! ACTUALLY U KNOW WHAT THO IT WAS ANGEL BEATS THAT WAS MAKING ME SOB THE OTHER DAY, I ABSOLUTELTY SOBBED!!

I think I have emotionally removed myself enough from canon eremika that it doesn't phase me anymore, like I have not and likely will not rewatch AOT ever or any time soon at the very least because I just have no desire to put myself thru it bc I am simply too attached!

As far as me writing canon eremika goes, as I always say, never say never! So far, captain Eren is the closest I'm getting LOL! Altho I think i do have a few canon EM drabbles somewhere in the depths of my blog! I would like to write canon EM, but i don't know how i'd do it tbh. Like how I could spin a happy ending for them other than cabin EM which I did attempt but didn't finish as usual!! you never know what type of garbage I'll cook up tho 😂

[wellnesscard]

hello @t74x6n83pq9sck4va0 and thank u for the tag! :-)

"Introduce yourself with a book, movie, album, and tv series."

tagging: @fou-and-foue @goudzwart @coolingoff4999 @louderfade @theweirdwideweb

movies i do not watch a ton for enjoyment mostly just end up seeing them as a time passer w people BUT , watched sunset blvd one time in like 10th grade n it stuck w me #female . it was either this or time bandits(1981) which devon showed me recently and honestly just mwah - when they explode his parents at the end and sean connerey just winks and drives away? still reeling. its the funniest thing in the world to me. also/speaking of 1980s quirky time travelling comedy adventures, bill and teds excellent adventure is always a classic and i ended up emulating their himboism by accident so every now n then when i whip out the air guitar my brain goes all mystic to bill and ted like "remember your roots...." or whatever. like simbas dad etc haha

this is the only book . textbooks included.... . ive read in the past four years or so - BUT coincidentally was very very good. $0.75 at st vinnies score moment. yk he wrote this at 16? crazy!! it was missing the dust cover, had old library stickers on it, and had a dark blue spine with a light golden yellow hardcover. she said im yours i said milady!

mellow gold i was listening to that shiii while i was still on wizard101 . should have a warning label NOBODY let the mush-brain preteens discover the quirked up white boy that is beck. i remember showing my "emo" friends who listened to like pierce the veil n shit soul sucking jerk of this album n they did Not get it lol. happened many times w many songs. honestly my bad for being an "alt" middle schooler in 2012 and not liking screamo or pop punk.

its always sunny what more can i say. im part of that subsect of people that spent a coupla their formative years in a basement doin all sorts of wack shit saying ehhhhh this charlie guy he gets it. hes just like me.

[dgaftilwedie]

idk if i've answered the question before but fuck it im gonna do it again :3

📷 my boyfriendddddd :3 (adam faulkner-stanheight from saw)

🍫 uhm.......... chocolate.......... i think

✨ ya :P i have a lot but nobody ever uses any of em

🎶 ruiner by nine inch nails

✏ i am a certified fanfiction writer it is so fun

😏 ya.......... but im only on there to call my best friend, i used to use it a lot more but i don't really find any use for it

💛 i have 6 teehee

🐰 subway order

🍪 i think i'd be a snickerdoodle

🐶 cat person but i love doggies too

🎧 earbuds bc it makes me feel like the music is touching my brain

🌼 i was apologizing to my cat for moving legs and waking her up 😭

🙃 ted bundy had a dog named lassie (i learned that from american psycho, thank u mr patrick bateman)

🦉 night owl :3 u can tell by the fact rhat it's 4:42 and im still awake

🧸 in my bed

🏳‍🌈 take a wild guess

🦋 average numetal enjoyer

👖 jeans, most sweatpants look funny on me

🥤 i haven't been to a starbucks in almost two years

🧡 chartreuse............ ew

💎 i have so so so many

☕ mmmmm coffee i think

🦖 dinosaur...............

🌙 bout 4 or 5 years

🌴 a boat

🐸 im really going for 2000s horror movie male protagonist

🔮 i wanna be a fucking rockstar

💙 taken by my totally real boyfriend who may or may not be one of the saw protagonists

🌿 deftones like (linus) tshirt, my favorite jeans in the world my beloved dark wash bootcut, n my low top off brand black converse

🎤 98% of ghost songs

🤎 black rn but my roots are coming thru i should redye them

💌 i talk alllllll the time like if i weren't so tired rn i'd be yappin away

💄 ya but i don't do full faces of makeup very often anymore cuz i hate taking it off

🌸 uhmmmmmm......... someonw sais my ehes don't look like poop once

💞 @twiixr4kidz

~ 💖 ASK GAME 💖 ~

📷 What’s set as your phone’s lockscreen?

🍫 Cheese or chocolate?

✨ Do you have any nicknames?

🎵 Last song you listened to?

✏️ Have you ever written fanfiction?

😏 Are you on discord?

 💛 Do you have any piercings?

🐰 What do you think says the most about a person?

🍪 If you were a cookie, what kind would you be?

🐶 Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?

🎧 Headphones or earbuds?

🌼 What’s the last thing you said out loud?

🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know?

🦉 Are you a morning person or a night owl?

🧸 Favorite place to nap?

🏳️‍🌈 Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?

🦋 Describe yourself in three words.

👖 Jeans or sweatpants?

🥤 What’s your go-to Starbucks order?

🧡 A color you can’t stand?

💎 What’s your most prized possession?

☕ Coffee or tea?

🦖 Favorite extinct animal?

🌙 How long have you been on tumblr?

🌴 Desert island item?

🐸 Describe your aesthetic.

🔮 What’s your dream job?

💙 Relationship status?

🌿 Describe your favorite outfit.

🎤 Is there a song you know all the lyrics to?

🤎 What color is your hair?

💌 Do you talk to yourself?

💄 Do you wear makeup?

🌸 Best compliment you ever received?

💞 @ your favorite blog.

Reblogs are appreciated!

[vaniique]

CHRISTMAS TIME.

(y/n) and charles were out shopping for christmas until midnight. when it closing hour for the shops they put an end to the shopping spree. but, charles had something in his bags that piqued your curiosity. the only thing he said was: 'it was for someone special.' you tried to shake it off when you wander around for a little bit with him, before you both found a bench to sit on by a tall, lit up christmas tree.

it was a late evening. me and charles just finished shopping for christmas, our bags were filled to the brim with gifts, treats, etc. it has been a few minutes after midnight, the sky was pitch black. so empty. where are the stars?

our deep-rooted friendship has mostly been quiet and silent, what a contrast to his public image. maybe this demeanor was just for me and my odd nature. but if words couldn't be a first choice in communication and strengthening of our bond—the look from his eyes could. that look alone made me absolutely enmoured. but the thing about the quiet friendship is, that he doesn't know I've been pining because of him for so long.

and what if im just not, good or pretty enough for such a man like him? he's a gem, a diamond. and i think he already has a lover of his own, during the shopping spree session, he bought a necklace and a bouquet from those expensive stores. and i questioned him about it, he just said: 'it was for someone special.'

yeah that didn't just ruin my whole night, and the days that will follow after this evening shared by us.

now, we are walking around with multiple bags grasped by our fingers. it was cold, dark and cloudy. the air was frozen, to the point where you could see your breath.

little rays of moonlight escaping from the clouds, shined apon the streets. streets with christmas lights hanging about everywhere. some lights where on trees, some on balconys, some hanging from lamppost to lamppost, like spider webs. they made the streets like a light show, as we walking we admired this magical sight. until, our gaze fixated apon the big christmas tree being surrounded by old, detailed buildings.

we decide to sit on the bench, perfectly placed to the side, so that you could look at the large tree. shining like a popstar on a podium.

we talked a bit, not a full on conversation but leaning more on the 'small talk' side. soft, calm and relaxing. occasionally glancing to eachother.

after it got quiet, i could hear some noices from far away, children singing in a choir at doors nearby, a bell faintly ringing, other people wandering by the shops, etc.

we looked at each other, our faces outlined by the luminous christmas lights that belonged to the large tree. the twinkles in our eyes, the dainty smiles on each other faces, the delicate breeze flowing and just the aura surrounding us. everything was so, divine.

the dark gray clouds slowly shifted east, making the crescent moon visible. it shined beautifully, her radiance shined onto windows of the buildings surrounding the tree. the love-lusting pressure in the frigid air was impossible to miss. may seem stupid, but it was special to me atleast.

then, he placed his hand onto mine, my eyes widening as he placed his cold hand on mine warm hand. my hands were a bit warm because from putting my hands in my pockets almost all the time.

yet, even with the difference of our hands, our hand warmth molded into to a heavenly temperature. like finding the perfect temperature hot chocolate to drink with your hands wrapped around the mug to warm you up, but still drinkable and enjoyable.

with the other hand he had, he pulled out the bouquet from one of the bags that stood firmly on the ground next to the bench. and pointed it at me and sheepishly smiled a bit. i could smell the aromatic scent from the fresh flowers. the eyecontact felt so, personal, homely and just so, calming. with the look in his eyes I fell in love with, he said:

"for you,"

butterflies invaded my stomach, i felt my facial cheeks becoming rosy even in the frosty weather.

"thank you, charles." i gave a faint smile back, taking the bouquet. i could feel his fingertops graze my fingers, his fingertops were also cold, like ice.

i held the bouquet close to me, and our hands stacked on top of eachother again.

maybe it's just an christmas gift, or just a platonic little gift. just remember, don't get your hopes up, brain.

but even the backhanded thoughts in my head couldn't even explain what happend next as something unspectacular or platonic.

i felt his hand stabilized on the mine, my breath hitched a bit amd he started to lean his head closer to me. inch by inch. so i did too.

his hand came closer to my ear, and his fingers delicately tucked hair behind my ear, like a prince from a fairytale.

before we knew it, our lips came together like puzzel pieces. an actual kiss, it felt like a wave of relief and euphoria.

so he does love me back.

[cosmicangst]

finished romantic killer on netflix. really enjoyed it and i like how it handled issues of stalking and boundaries in relationships. i think romance as a genre is great to satirize not just because of the comedic potential but for its ability to comment about the genre and our relationship with it and to a larger extent, romantic dynamics as a whole.

usually im not a fan of work that is so self-aware and self-referential it borders on navel gazing or work that claims to subvert the weaknesses of its genre but doesn't really commit to it substantially. however i think this show (nearly) sidesteps that by being very earnest and sincere in portraying its relationships.

and i say nearly because my one criticism centers around anzu, who i think is such a relatable and enjoyable mc. however, as self-aware as the show is, it falls into the same trap of many in the romance genre by using anzu strictly as an audience conduit rather than a complex character that can exist outside of her relationships. what i mean by this is that we learn a lot about anzu but we don't really end up truly knowing her by the end of the season.

we learn about her otaku interests and that she's disinterested in a romantic relationship. we learn about her protective streak over her friends and her oddball and competitive tendencies. we learn she is clever and has a very strong will and integrity. however, the show never delves further than that. why is anzu so averse to romance in real life and opts for fictional characters instead? is she on the aro spectrum? if not, is her aversion rooted in something else? we learn what is essentially a checklist but nothing more than that.

i'm not saying the show has to necessarily answer these questions directly (or even at all) but i point this out as examples because we don't really get a glimpse into anzu's true inner world. we see tsukasa's source of trauma and we even see her best friend, saki (a minor character), in a similar fraught and vulnerable moment. we see that junta grew from his insecurity through baseball and that he still struggles with his inability to confess to anzu. anzu doesn't have to have a dark past or a crippling insecurity to be compelling but anzu remains functionally the same from the first episode to the last (like even her child self is indistinguishable from the anzu in the last episode)

and that is the root of the issue: anzu doesn't really have any flaws. the plot is always on her side. any "flaws" she might have is that she is judgmental once (ie when she judged tsukasa for being "cold") but this never really becomes a true conflict between them and it's never used as a point of growth because she's normally not judgmental in the first place with how gracious she can be even with people she disagrees with (like ryuya). another is that she's out of touch with societal expectations (eg her clothing and her interests) but these are all ultimately in service of her likability to us (and her love interests) and if anything, it ingratiates her more with her relationships by portraying how "real" she is (*waves airily* unlike all those other romance heroines). her flaws never engender anything with teeth and she never truly loses anything real or struggles in a way that brings character change. the things that happen to her do bring conflict but they're either inconveniences at best or they're used to explore other characters as she's used by the plot as a device for the others to react and self-actualize.

her only change in the end is purely external: she has a more extensive group of close friends now. and this would be a good resolution if this was something she actively desired but struggled with in the beginning. she's a little more open to a romantic relationship but we could make an argument that that was just purely to force the wizards' hand in letting riri go. she remains adamant in staying romance-averse.

so if (1) we don't see the reasons for why she is the way she is and (2) we don't really see her tested and internally changed in some way, anzu basically receives the same flat treatment as many romance heroines do in the sense that she's no more fully realized than they are. and that's a shame! because anzu is very easy to root for and i enjoy her humor and displays of strength but there's a huge gap between likability and being three-dimensional as a character.

this would be a non-issue if she was part of the supporting cast but anzu's our main protagonist. why do we get a truer insight to her best friend than her? is the show really subverting the genre as much as it thinks it is?

and none of this is meant to detract from how thoughtful and feminist i do find this show to be mainly in its portrayal of female-female relationships and its handling of (particularly male) victims of boundary transgressions. one of its biggest strength is that as absurd as it can get, it's very grounded overall. the two male leads in the love triangle are very honest and respectful of the other. everyone talks to each other like actual friends. and i'm all for melodrama like anyone who's a fan of this genre but sometimes seeing a conflict that's handled maturely can be very refreshing and needed.

anyway long and short of it is that i do recommend it. my criticisms aren't meant to bash anzu but rather highlight the ways in which this show might be actively limiting itself in its function of parody and subversion. none of this is meant to paint the series as "bad" but rather "incomplete" because i know this show could do more

[shockingdread]

what one might call "padding" i call "rising action" leading to both mechanical and plot climax. "all killer no filler" isnt viable, worthwhile or enjoyable in a medium where paying full price is expected to provide a customer with over 20hrs of uninterrupted intentional gameplay not counting player error. basic joy in systems is mandatory, games grasping at the cinematic not only fail to meet this requirement but as they receive budgets toppling blockbuster films and video game's own records they actually oppose this core principle in other games around them. AA was starved to death to make uncharted and gears of war. indie was elevated to fill this position and the roguelike was proven very quickly to be a winning formula. due to indie budgets being what they are, gameplay wise the roguelike is sort of the end point of all indie games. indie carcinization. indies cant afford to experiment financially, and they dont have any chances to rise into AA because it was strangled to death, so roguelikes it is forever. the race to the bottom on indie pricing has also contributed to this. low cost indies sell based on potential hours and steam reviews listing the thousands of hours people put in before writing a funny one liner not recommended is perfect marketing. i am endlessly disappointed by modern game design because there is a huge gap in gameplay experimentation outside of the indie roguelike or the modern god of war because nothing else sells. its either uncharted or the binding of isaac forever until the next fromsoft title. the combination of deep gameplay systems with well planned environments doesnt get made. the dungeon crawler was being explored and all of it's branches were incredibly strong and bore so many classics as the fruit of years of design innovations. ultima underworld and kings field are two sides of a coin which was itself a single penny in a piggy bank full of variations on concepts born in the novel and the table top rpg. i am typing all this because they dont make interesting games anymore and no one can afford to even try. my favorite genre was dead before i even found it, and no i dont really like dark souls. im happy to see fromsoft flourish and innovate on their roots, theyre one of the last studios doing it, but the combat loop of their modern series isnt to my taste. i just want kings field back really bad

i have a manifesto about game design to write

[fatehbaz]

hi maybe you’ve written about this before but i’m working for someone who is part of the ecological landscape alliance and we’ve been having big talks about the concept of “invasive” species vs “native” plants and how the concept is rooted in xenophobia, and also talking about how maybe invasive plants aren’t that bad?? this goes against everything i’ve ever heard anyone talk about invasive species but i really don’t know all that much about it. sounds silly maybe coming from a farmer but i really don’t have a super firm ecological understanding, most of my plant knowledge is agricultural based and im really curious to learn more and was hoping you could point me in the right direction?

Yes, I definitely run into this disk horse all the time. Especially the “maybe invasive plants aren’t that bad” discussion. It seems the native/alien stuff is most often mentioned in disk horse about the Anthropocene. Basically, you’ll sometimes see statements like: “Is anything really natural in the Anthropocene?” I have also seen, and spent a lot of time contemplating, how belief in the categories of “natural” and “alien/invasive” in discussion of ecology might be rooted in or at least inadvertently support racism/xenophobia.

But I am still wary of the “native vs alien” and “no creature or landscape is really natural, not any more” disk horse, at least as explored by some white/settler-colonial academics, for exactly the same reasons: because it might be rooted in or support racism/xenophobia. Because the proposal that “nothing is native, nothing is invasive” itself can actually engage in a sort of “settler absolution” that obscures how there really is a contrast between imperial and Indigenous peoples, and the “nothing is natural, nothing is invasive” proposal could excuse the colonial/imperial introduction and expansion of monoculture by accepting the spread of industry/agriculture/non-native species as an inevitability. And these concepts can actually work to generalize conditions of ecological degradation and apocalypse, as if to say that “all humans now live in such a damaged world, we’re all victims” (even though many non-white, especially Indigenous, people actually bear most of the violence and burden of living in “post-apocalyptic” ecologies.)

But actually, I don’t think I can be too helpful here.

I still have a lot of contemplating to do, about how categories of natural/invasive in ecology might support the violence of categorizing people as natural/invasive. Don’t really know where I stand yet, y’know? So I don’t want to be too quick to come to a conclusion. I don’t even really want to offer opinions here. That said, I am very sensitive to language, and the language that I use. So I do appreciate that there is an effort to interrogate the negative consequences of describing things with words like “alien”. Also, the categorizing of lifeforms is and always has been a mess.

I don’t have many reading recommendations. The “native vs alien” and “nothing is really native, actually” proposals are concepts that I brush up against but don’t read too deeply into, even though this disk horse has been popular-ish in dark ecology and academic ecology/environmental studies circles for at least 10 years or more by now.

I guess, for my thoughts on native vs alien, what counts as “natural”, invasive species, and how the disk horse can excuse settler-colonial/imperial racism, I would point to this post I made about Pablo Escobar’s feral hippopotamuses in Colombia.

One introduction to the concept, which I think is an enjoyable read (though I don’t necessarily agree with all of his implications), is this essay by Hugo Reinert about the category of “natural” and the “purity” of a species: “Requiem for a Junk-Bird: Violence, Purity and the Wild.” Cultural Studies Review. 2019.

Anna Boswell’s very famous article about stoats and non-native species in Aotearoa kind of dances around this same issue of naturalness: “Settler Sanctuaries and the Stoat-Free State.” Animal Studies Journal. 2017.

-------

Generally, I agree with the implication that there is no “remote” or untouched corner of the planet where ecology has escaped human influence.

On that aspect, here’s a post I made about “planetary urbanization”.

But the native/alien disk horse can be extended to problematique degrees, with proposals that sometimes remind me of sci-fi goofiness, like fans of dark ecology or weird fiction or Mieville/Van der Meer got a little too excited about “the boundary between human and other-than-human has become so blurred that there may as well no longer be distinctions between native species and invasive species”, like they got a little too drunk on theory and just decided that “everything is in flux!”. Criticisms, then, of the “nothing is native” disk horse include how this oversimiplifies ecology and might enable/excuse settler-colonial invasion.

A lot of the “invasive plants are good, actually!” disk horse I’ve seen shows up in Australian literature written by settler scholars, which might be pretty telling.

Basically, it seems some scholars will take Alfred Crosby’s “neo-Europe” and “ecological imperialism” concepts, and then say something like “look, the damage is done, so much of Earth’s soils/landscapes are altered by introduced plants that we may as well accept it as the new baseline/normal ecology, and work from there.” As if to point at how North America has been entirely overrun by non-native earthworms and then to say “well, the worms are going to inevitably destroy hardwoods forests, soils of the Great Lakes region, the boreal-temperate transition zone, and maple trees which supply place-based maple syrup foodsheds, so we may as well accept that we live in a damaged world.”

I don’t know if I’m entirely satisfied with this.

-------

Other related concepts brought up in the same  discussion of “nothing is really native” might include “invasion biology” and “assisted migration.” I see these concepts brought up in academic writing from the University of California system, Australia, Aotearoa/New Zealand, and “environmental humanities” generally. Basically, these writers/scholars will point to the past ten thousand-ish years of the Holocene, and how humans have had such profound influence on global ecology that “introduction of non-native species” and “mass-scale anthropogenic climate/ecological change” are not just recent developments since Industrial Revolution or Indus/Yellow/Mesopotamian statecraft, but even older. For example, I’ve talked a lot about how, in the Late Pleistocene or early Holocene, the Asiatic steppes and parts of the Great Plains could have apparently been more like intermittent woodlands before humans engaged in deliberate fire-setting to better target megafauna herds, meaning that the human role in creation of vast “naturally-occurring” grassland regions may be underestimated. This dove-tails with the better-established fact that the forests of Central America and eastern North America in the early Holocene were/are actually more like cultivated food forests managed by Indigenous people.

The argument, then, may also point to yams, sweet potato, and coconut as examples of creatures with what now appear to be “old” and “established” widespread transoceanic distribution ranges which actually may have been introduced via assisted migration by humans.

The argument, basically, says: Well, let’s say hypothetically that humans didn’t play a role in spreading sweet potato or coconut. By chance, if ocean currents “naturally” introduced these species, if these plants “naturally” colonized whatever lands they were swept off towards, doesn’t this mean they could essentially be “natural” to anywhere they might arrive and successfully establish themselves? Therefore, does it really matter if humans helped them get there?

This seems to be related to the “no plants are actually invasive” proposal. As if to say: “If English pasture grasses have successfully reproduced themselves in Patagonia, Aotearoa, South Africa, the Canadian prairies, etc., what does it mean that their migration was assisted by humans?”

But this is where I have reservations: It wasn’t just any humans that “assisted the migration” of monoculture grasses from Europe to the prairies of Turtle Island. It was specific humans, with deliberate intent, upholding specific institutions, protecting their own well-being at the expense of other humans and lifeforms, enacting specific violence against specific victims.

-------

Another aspect of this which I see mentioned often is how early human/Polynesian settlement in Oceania and the South Pacific is an example of how mass anthropogenic ecological change doesn’t always involve statecraft, mass mono/agriculture, and imperialism. Aside from the famous decline of creatures like the moa, Polynesian islands were also home to relict species of large land turtles and ancient terrestrial/semi-arboreal crocodiles until human arrival in recent millennia. Writers will also point to human settlement in the Caribbean, where human arrival coincided with extinction of remnant populations of endemic Pleistocene ground sloths. (This also happened on Mediterranean islands, which hosted endemic species of hippopotamus and goats until recent millennia.)

Again, though, this is where white/settler-colonial academics advocating “nothing is natural” can kind of obscure settler-colonial violence, by pointing to history of anthropogenic environmental change and saying “see, all humans provoke extinction.”

Thus, you’ll see these scholars invoke Anna Tsing or Donna Harraway, referencing the “arts of living on a damaged planet” or “living in post-capitalist ruins.” Essentially, advocates of “nothing is native, any more” might say “we all live in a post-apocalyptic world now, so we should get used to it.”

This, coming from white/settler-colonial academics, sometimes rubs me the wrong way, as if it’s sort of like wish-fulfillment, or “an adventure” for comfortable white academics to engage in low-stakes thought experiments about extinction, naturalness, and apocalypse from which they’re actually largely insulated, at least compared to the poor, non-white, non-academic people who cope with the worst of environmental racism and ecological collapse.

This, again coming from white/settler-colonial academics, is also of course more than a little grating, since it kind of co-opts or culturally appropriates the “Indigenous/Native people actually live in a post-apocalyptic world” concept proposed by Indigenous scholars. It kind of takes from Indigenous/non-white people, and then generalizes the apocalypse as something that all humans now live with in seemingly equal measure, obscuring the fact that many people are actually forced to cope and/or live with more-serious-of-an-apocalypse than others.

-------

At the end of the day: Sure, kudzu or English pasture grasses or coconuts or European earthworms or domesticated cattle might be generalist species which can successfully inhabit landscapes across the planet. So whether humans introduce them via agriculture, or whether they "naturally" expand by some accident or by drifting across ocean currents, they might exist in this strange ontological space between "native" and "alien" which confounds human conceptions of what "belongs"? And this is worth considering! This is good to think about! But there are still, and always have been, those "small" landscapes, those isolated pockets, those relicts and remnants in shaded stream corridors, where small populations of endemic species teeter on the verge, with highly-specialized adaptations to highly-specific microhabitats. You're not going to "assist the migration" of or "accidentally introduce" a cave-obligate salamander from a limestone cavern or a temperate rainforest-dwelling land-slug to a desert biome.

But, again, I still think it is good to stop and ask ourselves whether categories of “natural” and “alien/invasive” in ecology make sense, are outdated, or if they reinforce racism/xenophobia. And, again, I haven’t read enough -- I haven’t grappled with these questions enough -- to have an opinion which I’m comfortable sharing, so I don’t want to discourage this disk horse too much.

Anyway, hope some of this is interesting. Sorry. Again, I don’t really have any good recommendations.

[llilychen]

thoughts of chain of iron

my favorite scenes in the book were jordelia’s wedding and the townsend’s party (chapter five and six were so fun to read)

i really liked the beginning the book but i found the middle to be boring, the book picks up speed towards the end.

when i finished chog i hadn’t made up my mind about grace yet but now that i am done with coi i have decided that i don’t care too much about her? i’ve seen people say that they adore her and i don’t understand that sentiment. i could see why people would find her an interesting character though

there were too many descriptions in this book, the weather was mentioned almost every single page and it got old pretty quickly

i feel like nothing happened for the majority of the book? i dont like fight scenes that much but throughout the book there weren’t almost any? i was 400 pages into the book and so far there had only been one very boring fight scene against that demon that was in the factory

why was filomena hyped up so much? i swear cc made such a big deal about filomena and she didn’t even want to reveal her name and i thought she was going to be an important character, but she only was there for like 1.5 scenes and it was so disappointing

alastair was my favorite character in this book, i think that he grew a lot and i loved that he was held accountable for everything he did and i think that is what makes him an enjoyable character (when characters do dumb stuff and don’t face the consequences it is boring)

reading cordelia’s pov was so funny (and frustrating) because it was obvious that james was in love with her and she still made the most far fetched unreasonable excuses to convince herself otherwise

i am really sad that there wasn’t more thomastair in this book and i think it was very noble of alastair to not want thomas to have to choose between his friends and him, i am pretty sure that they will probably be together in by the end of cot unless something horrible happens, which i hope is not the case

i was really disappointing with matthew’s character. that scene in which he showed up to cordelia’s house, spied on alastair and cordelia after their dad died, insulted alastair in front of cordelia, and then just started talking about his own problems rubbed on me the wrong way and i hate how his alcoholism is being handled, but im also glad that he called james out on his bullshit? it obviously wasn’t james’ fault but it was nice to see him stand up for cordelia

i hated the love triangle, when i finished chog i didn’t really care who cordelia ended up with, and now that im done with coi i still don’t care too much about who she ends up with but i think that her ending up with james would make more sense and that is probably what will happen which means that the love triangle was a complete waste of time

i really wish that cordelia and matthew’s relationship had remained completely platonic especially because i don’t think cc has ever put focus on a relationship between a man and a woman that isn’t strictly romantic and it would have been nice to show that men and women can be only friends (and by this i mean that there was never any romantic drama between them, so clary and simon don’t count)

anna and ariadne will probably end up together despite the fact that ariadne deserves so much better than anna

anna’s behavior in this book was immature and it got old pretty quickly, the way ariadne was treated throughout the entirety of their relationship was horrible, and i don’t understand if we were meant to root for them? also the way anna treated ariadne reminded me of some of the things anna said in chog and i just want to say that calling the women you have slept with your conquests and writing their names in a list is gross, and disrespectful towards women. coi made me dislike anna unfortunately

matthew insulting alastair every time cordelia was around got old and rubbed one me the wrong way because matthew is supposedly in love with cordelia and he knows that cordelia adores alastair and the least he could is just shut up?? about alastair?? just for cordelia’s sake

i think effie was the best part of the book

i thought that jesse’s resurrection would be take up more page time because i’m pretty sure that cc hinted that jesse would play a larger role in coi than in chog (and in a way she wasn’t lying)

i think that lucie’s marks will probably be stripped or she will become an iron sister (i don’t see why cc would have included that iron sister comment if it won’t be relevant later)

im really disappointed with lucie and cordelia’s friendship, the barely talked, the had like two scenes together in a 650 page book, they just seem like people who sometimes talk to each other, their friendship is so dry

matthew telling alastair that if he didn’t talk to charles it meant that he was a bad person was manipulative and cruel. alastair, unlike matthew, is trying to become a better person and literally everybody saw it except him. i can’t believe cordelia didn’t say anything to him

the whole misunderstanding thing between james and cordelia is so dumb and i KNOW that it will take like 400/500 pages of cot for them to get together and it will be so annoying

that scene in which james confronted grace was very satisfying

cc needs to quit it with the incest, it’s disgusting and unnecessary, it looks like it will not actually go to that in cot (thank god) and therefore she just put it there because she’s gross

i KNEW jesse would come back to life by the end of the book and im so glad i was right because i am tired necromancy and we don’t have to spend another book talking about it!!

i dont know if this is an unpopular opinion but i hope lucie’s character takes a dark turn? i think she has so much potential and i think that maybe she was starting to become a darker character in coi but i couldn’t really tell because she didn’t have that much page time

i really want more christopher scenes, i know that he’s not exactly a main character but he was barely in the book and that made me sad :/

matthew saying that he would not drink in paris so that cordelia would come with him rubbed on me the wrong way because that’s not how it works, and i hope that cc doesn’t portray alcoholism as something that goes away because you’re in love with someone

i knew jesse and lucie would run away at some point, i just thought that it would be by the end of cot (pretty sure they will be found and then there will be trouble and maybe they’ll escape again or there will be more trouble)

my favorite scene in the entire book was when effie found james tied to the bed and requested a raise

when cordelia comes back there is going to be so much guilt because of lucie being missing and i am not here for it

3/5 stars

[sanshine]

biba my beloved i saw you say you're playing elden ring and obsessed!!!! uwu i have to know what you think and all that bc im playing as well and fromsoft games are my absolute favorites ❤️_❤️

AHHHH YES MY BELOVED I SPEND ALL MY FREE TIME ON THAT GAME AT THIS POINT DHVBHBVHSDB okay idk how much of a rant you want here JHFBVHSBV bc i could go on forever but here we go

so i was never into fromsoft games rly dsjvbsdhbvhsv obviously i had heard of dark souls bc those games are notorious for their difficulty and if you play video games there's a good chance you've heard of them at some point djvbsdhvb so when elden ring came out i cant say i was particularly hyped for it at all? jhvbshdvb i really only started watching it bc that was around the time i was dying of covid lmao and didnt have energy to do much and all my fave streamers started playing it and idk i told myself i'd give watching it a chance and despite it being confusing as hellllllllll bc i have no experience with FS games, i got really into it??? sdvhbshdbv it kinda came gradually but i think my interest peaked when one of my fave streamers spent 4.5 hours on radahn HDSBVBSJVHBS and i watched the whole stream rooting for him lmao and idk it was just really enjoyable sdhvbhsdbv and ever since then i've kinda been watching it every day and here we are, led to me being obsessed jsfvbshdvbshvb but the funny part is that originally i bought the dark souls trilogy instead of elden ring bc it was cheaper lmao and i told myself i'd play elden ring once the hype dies down and once it goes on for cheaper but...... ended with me having both the trilogy AND elden ring JHBVHSBDHVB

i played dark souls first but right now am stuck at those bell gargoyles >:( i know how to beat them and what to do, i just panic a lot and then make mistakes shdvhdbv as for elden ring im surprisingly fucking good at it????? like i really dont mean to brag but sdjvbhsdvb i had no prior experience with these games right and i KNOW theyre supposed to be difficult as hell but margit and godrick both took me like half an hour to beat, radahn took me 11 tries to beat (bc i kept track bc i expected that fight to be a challenge jdbvhsdvb), the most trouble i've had so far was with rennala but even she ended up dying after 1.5 hours hfvbsdbvhds (meanwhile my streamer spent 4.5 on radahn alone i'll never forget that) and with how much people keep mentioning that fromsoft games are difficult as shit i really just expected to have a MUCH harder time vhsbdhvbshdv so far dark souls has been tough but elden ring? really not as much sdvhbhdsbv

but like i said elden ring is my reason to live right now HSDBVHSBD i only got the game on thursday evening but i spent friday saturday and sunday playing the fuck out of that game for 11 hours every day LMAO i think the last time i was THIS invested in a game was with final fantasy 15 back in 2018 and even then i dont think i ever played it for this long for 3 days straight 😭😭 and you bet im gona do the same thing again once the weekend starts HSDVHSBDHVB

ANYWAY!!!!!!!! how do you as a fan of the souls games like the game?? i know the hype mustve been insaneeeeeeee im really curious about your opinion too, please fangirl with me sdvbshdbvsdbvhsdbv <33333333333