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a-table-of-fics · 3 years ago

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Oddworld: Conar's Ambition, Chapter 4, Draft 1

In the meantime, he puffed on his Lungbuster some more, thinking about what they could do next. Once they were all in the scrapyard, and found a secure spot, that’d be a good time to see about that map Mark probably had. From there, he could hopefully find out where Zeb’s offices were, and from there he and Slim could take him down, and Conar could finally have a fortune of his own.

His happy daydreams were interrupted when he heard another vehicle come rumbling down the road, and the sound of screeching metal against concrete. He leaned to look past the wall, and he had to cover his earholes as he saw an ugly yellow truck coming to the garage, sparks flying behind it as it carelessly dragged an enormous three-pronged hook behind it on a thick metal cable. He leapt back, afraid the tow cable might swing his way and obliterate him. Thankfully, it was nowhere close, and the truck was slowing to turn into the parking space anyway.

A Slig wearing a work vest came out, putting a well-worn yellow cap onto his head. He slammed a fist on the bed of the truck, and three Scrubs sat up groaning, and climbed out of the back.

Conar turned to the sleeping Mudokons, and was quick to tap them both with his Blunderbuss. They stirred, slowly standing back up. Just in time, too; the Slig had looked their way. He nodded before walking over to the passenger side. The door opened, and Conar heard the tell-tale sound of a Glukkon’s cheap dress shoes rapidly clattering. He was smoking an even cheaper cigar, and oil-stained suspenders over a hideously yellow plaid shirt. He sneered as he looked over at Conar and the Mudokons under his care, but his face softened as he saw the cab they came in with.

He hummed, running a few mental tallies.

“Quite a wreck,” he finally said. “Almost wish I’d seen the accident!”

He laughed, and if there was one thing any Slig learned quickly, it’s that a Glukkon’s laughter is contagious… or else. The Mudokons had no such obligation; while Slim and Mark were trying to keep their heads down, the three Scrubs in yellow loincloths just unloaded the truck of its six toolboxes. They politely waited by the door, struggling to stand up under the weight they were carrying.

“I take it you’re Clunk?” Conar asked.

“You ain’t as stupid as you look,” the Gluk snorted. “Why do ya ask?”

“Your guard over there says we need a ticket from you to get this scrap into the yard.”

Clunk turned around, seeing a wide-awake Slig waving his way from his booth, his magazine hidden from view.

“He’s right, you will need one. We gotta make sure we can’t fix it first.”

Meanwhile, his assistant Slig was watching the overly encumbered Mudokons. He was taking great pleasure in slowly opening the doors, at a couple of points even “accidentally” letting the doors fall a little, chuckling as the Scrubs groaned. Finally, he let them in, and they were able to set their equipment on the workbench.

“Right,” Conar nodded. “So when can we get started, sir? I’m already running late…”

“250 Moolah,” the Glukkon replied, simply. “We also gotta get your name and everything for our records. If we start going a little late, maybe I can let your boss now. Who knows?”

He leaned forward, enough to breathe smoke into Conar’s face.

“He might be feeling lenient and just dock your pay.”

He chuckled to himself, while Conar reached into his bag. Having only around 1400 Moolah to his name, this was quite a bit, but what choice did he have?

The other Slig happily accepted his payment, and turned towards his workforce.

“All right, get ‘er in so we can take a look!”

Conar and company watched as the cab was taken in, and followed when Clunk beckoned them in. They were directed to a lobby that had two very greasy chairs in it, as well as half another chair that was haphazardly lying against the wall. Clunk moved behind the front desk, where his assistant was waiting.

“So, you got an ID, ‘valued’ customer?”

“39872-A,” Conar said, automatically.

“Right. Place of employment?”

“Slog Hut 1884.”

“Quite a ways from here. What happened?”

“Got caught in some crossfire around home, sir.”

Clunk nodded.

“Right, we’ll see what we can do. You have a seat.”

Conar nodded, keeping the seat on his Pants rather than anything he could actually feel. The Mudokons, after one glare from the owner, shared the half-seat, keeping their feet splayed so they didn’t tip it over.

Clunk chuckled at the sight, and so Conar did too.

“Which of these chumps was the driver?”

Mark shrunk a bit, knowing what was going to come next, but before anyone else, Slim piped up.

“I was driving, sir.”

Mark was about to say something, but Slim’s elbow made a point against that. Clunk looked, and nodded.

“Brave Mud to admit that,” he said, turning back to Conar. “Make sure to get his license. Should have a number you can call on this phone here. They’ll take care of ‘im for losing company property, I hope.”

With that, he waddled over through the doorway, to the noises of metal clanging and tools hissing and whirring.

As soon as he was gone, Slim looked at the shaken Mark, then turned to Conar.

“Can you… can you pretend to call?”

“You ain’t tellin’ me what to do!” Conar replied. “I gotta call, that’s what he said…”

Slim’s look said it all, but he added “You want everyone to know where we are?”

“…Yeah, why don’t I just… not call, then?”

“Clunk’s probably gonna pop in at any moment. You really want to blow your cover here?”

Conar thought about it for a moment, then nodded. He’d have to ask about how Slim knew about this kind of thing later, but for now, he had a “call” to make to the taxi company. He stood up, holding a hand out expectantly. Mark looked at it for a moment, then sighed and produced a card from a pouch on his loincloth.

Conar snatched it and took a look. So he was supposed to call the Durtminch Taxi Service, but he punched random keys on the phone in rapid succession. He got a busy signal, but he pressed on.

“Yeah, hi… I wanted to report a Mud who drove through a gunfight…Yeah…We’re at Clunk’s… His name’s Mark…”

Clunk walked back in, watching while Conar finished his conversation.

“…ID, uh, 5928-22555…And this was 39872-A… Yeah, thanks.”

He looked up at the Glukkon.

“They said they’d discipline correctly.”

“Good,” Clunk nodded. “It’s important that they… learn. Anyway, we got some fixes underway. It’ll be ten minutes, but if it still don’t work, we’ll take it off your hands and getcha a ride.”

“Gotcha,” Conar nodded, walking back to take a seat.

Unfortunately, Clunk was staying at the desk, watching a monitor. No chance of using this time to rest, then; despite Conar’s reason for being late, he could still get reported for sleeping during work hours. Being late to the Slog Hut was one thing, but using this as an excuse to sleep was a one-way path to being detained until a co-worker could arrive and perform disciplinary action. Talking to the Mudokons was out of the question, too. No Glukkon liked seeing security being buddy-buddy with the workforce. So, he waited, listening to the sounds of mechanics hollering and metal clanging for ten minutes until, finally, the other Slig came back into the lobby.

“W-well,” he said, uneasily, “Got as fixed as we could, boss.”

The three Scrub mechanics walked in, covered in considerably more oil, soot, and burn marks than the Slig was.

“Well,” Clunk smiled, “Why don’t you have your driver friend there get the thing started, and we’ll see you off?”

Slim felt many eyes on him, and he slowly stood up. Mark followed suit, letting their half-chair slide and collapse onto the floor. He and Slim scrambled to get that back onto the wall, and then moved to follow the other Slig, with Conar following after.

He swallowed, climbing into the driver’s seat while Mark and Conar made it into the backseat.

“Hold up,” the head mechanic asked, raising a hand, “What’s the deal with the other Scrub?”

“You know better than to ask questions like that!” Clunk scolded, causing his Slig to wince. “It’s like you know nothing about keeping customers!”

He coughed, nearly dropping his cigar.

“Right then,” he continued, turning his attention to Conar through the window, “Explain why you’re commutin’ with a Mudokon!”

“Ah, y’see, er…”

“’M a student,” Slim meekly offered. “Y’see, he’s my instructor, isn’t that right, ‘Slim’?”

“I—” Mark started, before having his toe pressed by Conar’s metal foot. “Y-yeah, I am. L-lemme give ya a… refresher on how t’start this thing… yeah…”

He reached over, adjusting the levers to get the thing started. A rumble and whining noise, but nothing happened.

“Try again,” Clunk said.

“O-okay,” Mark nodded, having another go. Same result.

“Oy,” Clunk muttered, shaking his head. “All right, my boys’ll ger this into the scrapyard and we’ll getcha a new ride.”

“Actually,” Conar piped up. “I got two perfectly good Scrubs here. Betcha they could do with a bit of exercise, y’know what I’m saying?”

“Not gonna happen,” Clunk laughed. “Can’t have your Muds diving under a hunk of metal and escapin’, can we?”

“No sir,” Conar said, nodding a little too hastily. “Can’t have ‘em fleeing.”

He lifted his gun up meaningfully.

“I’m sure Tess and I could keep an eye on ‘em, though… heh heh…”

Clunk looked at him, and laughed.

“Ah, you really wanna teach ‘em a lesson, huh? Can’t blame ya for that; even a Mudokon should know not to drive into a firefight.”

He turned to his assistant.

“You focus on keeping our boys in line. Let our friend here take care of scrappin’ that piece of crap.”

“Er, all right, sir…”

It was hard to see with his own visor and the other Slig’s pilot-like goggles, but Conar could swear he was getting a side-eye from the guy as he turned to gather his mechanics.

Conar, for his part, simply shrugged, grabbing a ticket as it printed before giving a somewhat forceful jab to Slim’s back with the barrel of his gun.

“Get movin’, you two! I wanna see that cab in the scrap heap, and I wanna see it there now!”

He gave a bit of a chuckle to keep appearances, and the three of them moved the cab out. Well, Slim and Mark did, while Conar kept pace behind them, cradling “Tess” in his arms, still keeping it quite visible in the tried-and-true “Slig At Work” pose.

“Some escape,” Slim muttered under his breath. “Make me wish I was back shoveling Slog poo.”

“Wait, we’re escapin’?” Mark asked, perking up. “I can quit driving Sligs around? No more chokin’ on smoke?”

Before Mark could get too excited, though, he had to flinch as two shots rang out from behind him. Both he and Slim immediately put their hands over their heads, resting their faces onto the car’s trunk. They were just able to turn their heads enough to see Conar looking at them, his smoking gun pointed straight up in the air.

“Enough yapping!” he barked. “You’re slowin’ down when you do that!”

Mark was shaking a little, but Slim just sighed before beginning to push the cab again. On the plus side, the guard had woken up from that, and was already watching them pull up. Conar was already waving the ticket up for him, so he pulled the lever on the left of the control panel.

The three of them watched as the gate shook, groaning and creaking as it dragged along the ground. In the twenty-two seconds it took for it to open, Slim and Mark were able to take a breather, which they gratefully took. They almost didn’t notice when Conar shouted for them to start pushing again, but self-preservation kicked in regardless, and the cab was shoved through the gate again.

It soon became clear that they were not moving past multiple piles of discarded metal, but instead walking on one enormous heap. There was enough rust to pass as dirt if you weren’t walking on it, and they could hear metal creak not just under their feet, but everywhere. In the distance, a stack collapsed onto itself. A crane with an enormous magnet lifted junk into a new pile, and a bulldozer shoved more onto it.

As Conar looked around, the two Mudokons took note of the red eyes floating around. They didn’t seem to be taking any interest in the trio, instead panning over the various machines.

“Now, let’s get this thing outta the way,” Conar said. “I think I see some room over there.”

He gestured over to a place between an old FeeCo train car and a pile of refrigerators. It was a tight fit, but nothing a bit of elbow grease and Slig threats couldn’t take care of.

“Right,” Conar said, “We should find a place to lay low, then. We can figure things out from there.”

He looked either way, and found the door was taken off the train car. That was as good an option as any to look, but Slim put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him from going into it.

“There’s a hideout in the fridges already,” he said. “Might wanna check that first.”

Conar paused to look at the pile on the other side, but outside of various graffiti tags, he didn’t see anything of interest. Besides, the train car was right here.

“I don’t know what you’re tryin’,” he said, pulling his shoulder away from the Mudokon, “but if you think you can pull one over me, you’ve got another thing coming!”

“I’m not—”

“Get in the train!” Conar shouted. “That’s an order!”

“Fine,” Slim sighed, clambering in. It was dark and cold down there, and the air had a metallic scent that was just powerful enough to be uncomfortable. Mark and Conar followed, landing next to him.

“It ain’t much,” Conar admitted, “but at least we should be hidden pretty well here.”

“I guess,” Slim shrugged, while Mark just nodded.

“It’s been a long night, so we oughta rest for a bit. We’ll work on getting started later.”

Conar watched as the Mudokons found a darker corner, huddling together for warmth. Despite the conditions, they found sleep far more easily than Conar did. The Expresso had long since lost its kick, but this was a far cry from the bed he was used to. What was worse, he was watching over recently-freed Scrubs. He could manage one, but what if the two were to gang up on him? Hell, Slim was already giving him orders! He was already getting a lot of nerve!

#oddworld fic #oddworld conar's ambition #Oddworld #draft 1 #chapter 4 #oddworld conars ambition full chapter

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imagesbyele · 4 years ago

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prices - page 2 for mobile

please read the guidelines too, I say what I will do, what I won’t do, and explain very important things. this page was divided due to eccessive html that was breaking the post. for types of rp icons and screencaps, here.

note: I get all sort of fees from changing money to transferring it because paypal taxes everything, therefore it seems fair to “raise” the price if you pay in usd, considering this is the actual difference:

and paypal does this:

+takes fees from ko-fi.

So, for example, looking at my most expensive type of icons, the 7th C, because the difference seems to be the biggest, you’ll find:

between 100 and 199 icons: 0.15 euro / 0.19 usd. For example for 150 icons would be at 22.5 euro / 28.7 usd instead of 30 euro / 45 usd.

this may look a big difference on paper. In reality 0,15 euro are 0.18 dollars, and 22.5 euros does equal to 27.65. If I made you pay 0.18 I’d lose money because paypal takes a fee when changing it in euro, this way I only lose a tiny bit if any.

200 icons of type c? 0.03 euro / 0.041 usd for each, so it will be 6 euro / 8.2 usd. 6 euros actually equals to 7.3 dollars so I’m barely covering the fee.

ARE THERE ANY SALES/DISCOUNTS?

yes!

-since Jan 1st, icons from type 7 to type 10 will get a 10% discount on the final price, ‘til date to be determined!

-starter pack of at least 100 icons of any kind (except the base one, in which case it’s 200 icons because the first 100 are free) with psd or not, at least 2 banners, a header = gets you a 15% discount on the final price on top of whatever other discount you can get buying more things that have one, like the psds.

-banners have their own built-in discounts, see below. So do psd, after 100 icons the price is 50% off.

-you’ll find under every icon type the price for each but also the discount for bigger batches of icons, which grows as they go.

now you’ll find:

dash icons

psds

banners and a first draft of headers

examples of math done for a request

Currently I don't have promos nor themes backgrounds here because I'm still preparing examples/seeing what I can do and not do. Same goes for custom html and more things. However you can check my sidebar for links to first promos/theme backgrounds and prices for those "models".

dash icons

are 0.2 euro/0.3 usd each if you are buying something else too, you can request transparent ones with something in the background, or pattern backgrounds or special shapes, shadows and glows. If you want all of the above it’s 0.4 euro/0.6 usd. Because paypal would take most of it, if you are ONLY buying dash icons I will make you five for you to choose and keep, so a pack is either 1 or 2 euros / 1.5 or 3 usd, depending on your choices.

random examples:

more to be added. free samples here.

my psds, learned thanks to octomoosey’s tutorials.

If you want me to add them to the icons it will be one 0.02 euros/0.025 usd more for every icon (2 euro / 2.5 usd every 100) After the first 100 icons, the rest of the psd price will be cut in a half. 150 psds for your icons would cost 2.5 euro / 3.12 usd instead of 3 euro / 3.75 usd.

-the price stays the same if you offer the icons, seeing as it’s about making the psd, then adding and adjusting the psd to each icon. (pre-made icons must be made by you or by someone who gave you permission to edit. If you credit me somewhere please make clear I only offered the psd).

for free samples simply check the tags /psd-a , /psd-b etc.

j, k and l have a gradient too so there are several examples to show how it changes images depending on the original coloring

more to be added.

banners

You can find the examples here

Also general banners I make and share in ‘my banners’ tag.

-1 euro/2.5 usd for each static banner, can be done in similar style or with changes (for example one has a rectangular avatar, one has an oval one).

-2 euros/3.5 usd for each with overlay.

-4 euro/5.5 usd for each with gif.

I’m thinking that a ‘pack’ could be of five: starter call, open starter, plotting call, headcanons, answers. If you take five or more (those 5 or you may need a different banner I’m not thinking of, like an ooc banner instead of a open starter one? up to you), you get a 10% discount on the final price. -after the first five banners, each additional secondary banner for a different verse will be 40% off; consider that it will likely need different images and colors from the other verse one, so it’s a different new banner. If you want the same identical one and just the name of the verse changes, it will be only 0.4 euro/0.8 usd.

We’ll need to discuss colors, images, borders, glows, shadows, your url/character name and whatever else you want in it, I want them to be as close as what you want as possible.

headers

I am currently deciding what I can offer, you can see what I have done up until now with headers here. I know I can offer far more options, but if you already like those (and again, obvously it will be a back and forth, you can ask for your url, quotes, tell me whether to add something or not to what I’ll show you) I think it’s safe to say that I’ll ask:

-3 euros/4.5 usd for a header, static or with overlay.

-5 euro/ 6.5 usd for a header with gif.

-7 euro / 8.5 usd for a header with double overlay or gif + overlay. 1 additional euro/2 additional usd for any more gifs or overlays you may want on top

shapes and how many borders/’things’ to add on the basic icon you want will determine in which category the icon you have requested falls and therefore how much it costs.

examples:

“Ele, can you make me 150 of your 100px circle icons with semi-transparent border exactly like in 5c, but with your psd H? Jennifer Morrison as Emma Swan in episodes 5x8 or 2x9 or 5x10 or all of them...”

“Sure, once I’m done it it will be 12.25 euro (9,75 for the icons + 2.5 for psd)/ 15,87 usd (12.75 usd for icons + 3.12 for psd). I’ll make you a few examples so you can tell me if it’s okay or I need to change something”

“Oh I can’t spend more than 10 euro/12 usd!”

“okay, so if you want at least 150 icons with psd you have to put aside 2.5 euro/3.12 usd for it, so let’s see which ones you can get for 7.5 euro or 8.8 usd... up until type 3″ (type 3 in usd is 9.03 but I’ll throw in a few icons for free)

Feel free to ask me questions about ANYTHING! If you want to ask if I can take a commission now (but read my guidelines first!) and you are at loss of what to say, I’d suggest a ‘hi Ele, can you take commissions? I’d need at least X icons (or ‘I don’t know how many icons yet, let’s talk about it later’) of this fc, possibly from these movie/episodes’ this way even if timezones keep us apart I’ll be able to check as soon as possible if I can find resources to do it, if I have the time, etc and come back to discuss aesthetic with you and if maybe there aren’t enough usable caps to make icons depending on their quality and whether you only want close shots or not. Ims, ask and submit are all available. Everything else doesn’t require me looking for many screencaps as icons do, so you can just check 'hey are you open for banners commissions?’ (for example) and later I’ll come ask you about what you’d like. If you see me online after you send the ask and I haven’t replied even just with a 'sorry, super busy now but I’ll get back to you asap’ (probably because looking after my grandfather or too sick to sit up) I didn’t get the ask, try ims or submit or anything because I will not ignore you. I’ll make a commission form soon so I won’t risk losing anything and we’ll skip having to wait for the other to be online, at least for those first details.

#prices page part 2

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ilguna · 4 years ago

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i also have a list of shit my history teacher (this year) has said and done so I will share it with you:

warning: its really fucking long bc he would say/do shit MULTIPLE times a day

goes onto the next slide, “it’s a meme, get it?” proceeds to explain the meme (its the hey arnold meme with the first)

also goes onto another slide, with the twitter opinion meme. at the end of the paragraph it says “this class smacks, I’m lit”

“I’m going to beat up your brother. i am going to pummel him.”

On the 6th day of class he finally realized that there was a total of 6 guys and the rest were girls

student: “You should not put it in (as an assingment)”. teacher; “laugh out loud, im dead”

he was teaching us how to write a DBQ, the computer had a pop up saying that the battery was low, and then a spider shows up out of fucking nowhere, hanging from the ceiling. he CLAPS it, jokes about eating it, and then sets it on his desk (not in the trash can 2 feet away) so he can “deal with it later”

his endless military stories, specifically ORANGE DESERT

he wrote “if you would have had your thinking skull on” on my first DBQ

him saying “I hate this” after typing a word wrong multiple times while teaching us DBQ’s lmfao

“For the lols”

Threw a box of tissues across the room into the trash can

threw a box of tissues at a student

he had this obsession with throwing expo markers at his whiteboard, trying to make it land on the metal part so expect that a lot.

“Do you want me to drown him in a bathtub?” (which was about a student’s dog that had separation anxiety lmaoo)

Sang the rain drop, drop top song

The collars on his shirt turned up

“He’ll be beaten for that distraction” (after his son called him during his lesson and he willingly answered)

“Stay woke”

“It was a hot boy summer for him”

expo marker landed on the metal thing for once thanks to a towel that was there

kyle (it must have been a story or something i dont remember)

He woah’d at some point

HAHA so there was a kid in my class that had got caught with a bong on the second week of school and he was suspended. when he came back to class, we were going over what the south grew in the U.S. very early on into colonization. and he used the bong kid as an example of a tobacco farmer

tried to eat a balled up paper

“important revolutionary war stuff”

“My bae, George Washington”

“They could’ve killed g-dubz, but they didn’t”

called george washington “g-dubz” frequiently

“Facts”

“Swagtastic”

he got excited over a military general (baron friedrich von steuben) for being a gay military general--”That was very well respected!”

“He had a ton of swagger”--referring to ben franklin

“His nickname was the swamp fox. You guys can call me that”

The snowball fight story--his brother was friends with a kid he hated next door. my teacher challenged the kid--Eric--to a snowball fight. In preparation, my teacher had froze snowballs, and so when he did have the fight, he LITERALLY knocked Eric out and left him on the front lawn unconscious (he was an elementary school kid)

one time he gave us the punishment quiz by accident, tried to make up for it by giving everyone the answer to #6. however, it turned out to be wrong so he just gave us all 100′s instead

another military story of the goat he bought from an old man with his buddies. unfortunately they had to kill the goat to eat, but the FACT that my teacher said this “a cute little goat--you know, baaa?” as if we didn’t know what a goat was

He was the golf/hockey coach!! so not only would he talk about beating up the kids in the golf club

he would also do random golf swings all the goddamn time! with no gold club or ball, it was just air.

“You are about to get clowned, young lady”

pronounced pamphlet as pamplet fora good part of his teaching career (another story he told us)

“It’s definitely not the declaration of independence you mouth breather!”

George washington = bae on a powerpoint

“you tied me up real good”

“France also popped off”

Compares the Connecticut compromise to ppap (with the song and everything!)

Told someone to shut up after they suggested that Iowa was the least populated state (he’s from Iowa)

hick iowa, to be exact

Wrote 23 as 32, realized his mistake and said “oop im dyslexic”

“If it’s a purge, I’m killing everybody”

“Federalism, not onion!’

“Who’s the dumbass guy? Ducey!” (our state governor)

he got arrested once. his mugshot is on google images and everything

he got arrested bc some guy was destroying his house w a baseball bat at a party his friendw as throwing (but it was at my teachers house). my teacher respectfully punched him and brought him to the front lawn. called the cops when the guy wouldnt leave and ended up being arrested too. teacher thought his career was over and threatened the guy the entire way to the police station

“laugh out loud!”

“We beat the begeezus out of a bunch of british people”

pronounced wolf as woof

“Who was his daddy? Who’s his daddy?”

Called a swim cap a bonnet

“Kick!”--then proceeds to kick a tennis ball. before that he had just thrown it to get out of his way

“Jesus, you’re a big boy”

for like 2 weeks straight he used that same tennis ball to try and erase a whiteboard. and im not talking rubbing it on the board, he fucking threw it at the wall, getting it off little by little. he eventually gave up, though

“I’ll snot rocket into the trash can”

“Cause I realize most of you are morons”

was obsessed with the cowboy boogie

“Every time I cough, my tail bone hurts”

“Do i look normal?”

“I look like an old man”

“Shut up your faces”

“I see you back there, queen”

“Some of you girls need to learn from this article”--the article was old & about girls being submissive

“that would hurt some people’s feelings, but I’m not gonna show it hurt mine”

“He’s just--’meow’”--about his cat

he had a sweater that had his face on it, photoshopped over a boxer that a student gave him. he wore it during winter

flicked a tennis ball across the room with a hockey stick. hit the coffee thermo on his desk, stared for a couple of seconds, and THEN realized that it was open

First off, all you kids making memes about dodging the draft--we don’t want your dumbasses anyway” --continued to rant for a few minutes after that

he HATED the national anthem with a burning passion

“I’m old as shit”

also, his cat’s name IS meow cat

more expo marker throwing

“Hey there handsome”-- to the teacher next door

“Henry clay is going to haunt you until april” (unfortunately we didnt make it that far into the school year bc of covid. disappointed that i didnt get to be haunted)

Singing electric avenue

“but here’s the tea”

“Flagstaff is like--” *reaches as high as he can to put expo marker on the wall

“I’m adopting all of you, and we’re moving to saudi arabia”

teacher: “I’m gonna break bowers kneecaps in front of you. you still want to be on strike?” not bowers but a different kid: “no...?”

Cleaned the shades in the middle of him explaining something

“You know your pinky toe? this little roast beef?”

THE TURTLE SOUP STORY. when my teacher was still a kid, he found a turtle in the wild, and brought it to his grandparents house (they owned a farm). he took care of the turtle for a while, even after his grandfather found out. until one day he came home and saw blood everywhere, went to find the turtle to see it was gone. then found his grandfather chopping up the fucking turtle so they could have it for soup for dinner. his grandfather literally made him fatten up the turtle so they could eat it

“Did mr.*****--?” (referring to himself in 3rd person, also blocked out to protect privacy)

“i’m going to staple your nostrils closed. staple, staple. ‘I can’t breathe mr.*****!’ should’ve done your DBQ!!”

his pedo stache

stood with a paper and smiled, thinking that a student was taking a picture of him when it was really the paper

doesn’t know who gaston is???

him: “I’m going to staple your noses together. One staple” Student: “*****’s piercing parlor!”

*singing* “beauty and the beast”

“I’m going to tackle you”

more random golf swinging

“What’s up (my name)?” me: hi *he then hits the bun on the top of my head on his way in the door*

And he did it again the next day

he literally made kids compete with pastries

which reminds me, he brought donuts in 2 days in a row like a week after that and make us (his first hour) take bites bc he realized he didn’t want to eat it. one of the girls was glad to take it from him, everyone else told him no

“Good morning (my name) how are you?” me: “I’m sick again... do you need help? (with the door)” him; “Actually, yes” (normally he can open the door even when his hands are full but there was a stack of pop tart boxes that were as tall as him so) i opened the door, he goes in and says, “thank you (my name), for not being rude”

the following quotes are for the Hot Seat

Student: “what do you do--?” him: “you’re in the hot seat!”

“Some people cry”

“La *****, luxurious”

“You sit here, and you stare (into the projector light)”

basically everyone in the class had to answer a question as a review. there was a stool in front of the smartboard, perfectly placed so that the projector light would LITERALLy be in your eyes. i actually got the question right on some miracle.

“2 points of weed?”

“Can I get some of that hot leaf?”

“They will make more drugs! You can’t do that much drug!”

“You guys bullied me and stole it”

“Whole rest of the nation sucked an egg”

“Whelp, let’s just kill myself”

“Do you guys know david chapel?” *sigh when everyone says no*

*some girls singing the national anthem* Him: “no! none of this, none of this!”

“Calibri’s for idiots” (the font)

“The only thing that was in--shit”

“and uncle sam--gettin lit”

“Their daddy--UH--”

“They’re going to blame the jews--my people” (he got a dna test done, he’s not actually jewish)

“Whatever you say, boomer”

“Use my words to plagiarize in college”

“I’m jewish, that’s offensive”

“Tell him he gave me instant cancer”

Me: “can i go to the bathroom?” him: “I’ll allow it”

him: “He’s antisemetic and it hurts my feelings” student: “what does that mean again?” him: “Hates jews :(”

“You guys can call me kingfish if you’d like”

~ after we said no to the nicknames, we tried to make one for him ~

student: “cornhusker!” him: “no, that’s offensive... and it’s also nebraska”

student: “corn picker!” him: “no--that sounds like a racist term or something”

“Unless corona really does take over--” (thank u, mr. for ruining the school year”

Student: “how old was she (his mom) when she had you?” him: “thirteen”

“My mom just turned 40 the other day...” (a joke)

him: “My brother got t-boned by a semi truck last night” Student: “Why are you laughing?” him: “Because he lived.”

“Yeah bc I would hide out in a public school with 300 new kids a year” (about him not living in iowa so he’s hiding out in az to get away from his “criminal record” (refer to the 1 time hes been arrested))

“Baby death?”

“Their family has more money than jesus”

*Standing outside the door yelling “CORONA” to students walking in”

“Hey I’m *****, f-word, blah, blah”

“We should fight our cats.”

“OH that’s a big chonk cat.”

“Mortal Kombat is pretty cool. I haven’t played in 25 years”

he told us in class once that we shouldnt open the front door if cops show up at a party. just to shut the blinds and be a little quieter bc the cops cant legally open the door

also one time he had a gun pointed to his face but he never finished that story bc he never liked it

during quarantine he set a DBQ as 1000 points (and i still didnt do it)

and “Here’s the tea, kiddos!”

honorable mentions: all the time he’s sent out emails bc theyre fucking hilarious

#ilguna #high school #gen z

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csockets · 5 years ago

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Prompt Challenge With Friends

I invited my friends, @bluemoonfantasiesii and @mahi-does-some-art, to join me in a writing a prompt posted on @write-it-motherfuckers‘s lovely blog~~

WIM, thank you for all your hard work!! I’ve always liked the prompts you’ve posted and sometimes I’d get inspired but I was never crazy inspired, you know? But until I saw “darling really” and there was such a sassiness that I couldn't help but like and I just, really wanted to writing something to go with it!! Low and behold, I did write something and I got to read my friends work in the process!

So, many thanks to Master WIM! Please enjoy my work under the keep reading line!!

The Prompt Used

Note: The characters and the location: Loystin, are of my own creation! Azben Katrina is my OC not actually me! Adalant and Marcie are twin sisters. The Baboon King is a creature; an image I picked up from Google, used for reference then named it such because honestly, the creature looked baboonish lmao. Also, the world just might be it really is im sorry lmao heavily inspired by my sudden obsession with MXTX couples and the Xianxia novel genre. Any other questions can be answered through reblog, reply, or an ask!

Warnings: Minor blood and gore, profanity, possible same sex flirting, violence and probably more but im not too worried so *shrugs*

Adalant swore immediately.

“Why the fuck are we here?”

Azben grinned, tapping her chin with an elongated nail.

“To do a lil fun.”

Adalant growled, glaring heatedly at the huffing warrior.

“But you were sworn to ho--”

“Lalala, I can't hear you, lala--”

“You--”

“LALALA--” She laughed loudly, leaning back to avoid the swipe of Adalant’s bat, nail head plucking at the fabric of her robes. She took a step back and straightened, amused at Adalant’s ruffledness.

“House arrest. I will get in trouble.” She said edgedly, sharp as she turned away and made for the forest ahead of them.

Azben huffed a breath, catching up to Adalant’s side. “Yea, but leave it to me! I have a plan~!” She smiled and winked, bumping their shoulders affectionately. Adalant shied away, hissing angirly, swinging her bat to rest on her shoulder, trudging forward, not making an effort to actually lead her friend back. While Adalant and Azben were on equal footing for almost anything, Azben had her beat in quick wits, her need to make jokes and ruffles feathers and rub them the wrong way, the desperate need to make chaos everywhere, absolutely being the clown was Azben’s job and talent. Adalant sighed and let go of her annoyance at being tricked once more, especially tricked into getting Azben off the estate.

She glanced at her partner, watching her eyes crincial with laughter in the corner, green eyes dark with mirth, looking ahead. Her lips were constantly pulled into a smile, large and bright, yet teasing, maybe a half-smirk if you wanted to look at it that way.

“What are we hunting?” She asked, becoming eager for the fight ahead of them, suddenly excited by the thrill that fluttered fleetingly in her chest.

“The Baboon King.” Azben said idly, like she didn't just suggest that they take on a dragon level disaster that was claimed by Adalant’s sister two days ago. Adalant swallowed and closed her eyes to pray to her sister, asking for forgiveness for her foolish friend. She opened them to a large tree root.

“Okay.” She said quietly, straddling the large tree root to slip onto the other side, rolling her eyes as Azben made a show of flipping into the air and landed into a crouch, back arching as she quickly straightened with the grace of a feline. Azben glanced her way and Adalant could feel the burn of her stare and faintly, Adalant could see Azben raise a brow.

“Not curious--”

“No, not really. You probably promised her a lap dance for later.”

There was a deep breath and Adalant closed her eyes once again as Azben gasped dramatically, an obvious tilt in her voice as she whined, as if she had been wronged.

“How dare you! As if I would stoop that low for- for a beast hunt! You should be ashamed of yourself!” Azben cried and pouted, bottom lip rolling out cutely, all red and wet. Her eyelashes glittered with tears and the way her green eyes sparkled with light and her brows furrowed with gentle lines, Azben gave the image of a kicked puppy, sniffling quietly and blinking rapidly, as if willing the tears away.

Adalant snorted.

Azben crossed her arms tightly across her chest, huching her shoulders. She glared at her yet still completely looked kick. Honestly, Adalant’s chest swelled to offer her a pat on the shoulder and a few words but Adalant also knew it was a way for Azben to get to her, so Adalant could only rub faintly at her chest to dull the ache with a frown.

“You’re my dearest friend, sister!” She huffed, “Yet you accuse me of improper behaviour and breaking regulations!”

“Which you owned up to and even said you’d help me avoid punishment.” Adalant pointed out and maybe, she should have questioned the glint in Azben’s eyes that broke her ‘kicked puppy image’ but Adalant was too focused on balancing on the log across a ravine they had found after a few minutes of walking. She crossed without much thought, Azben’s whole licked-puppy image fading to her nonchalant look, walking across the log without a care, long and loose braid mused in the wind as a draft blew up. She visibly shivered and pressed her robes against her thighs, frowning.

“These things are so long yet I still feel a breeze, what the hell.” She grumbled, dissatisfied with her family’s winter clothing.

They continued on, walking through the underbrush and over roots, Azben animatedly chattering away, poking fun at Adalant and taking an interest in the small fungi and large blooms of winter plants, blue and white petals, purple mushrooms and black vein like roots that wiggled at their boots as they passed. It was as the sun rose to the middle of the cloudy sky that Azben finally hushed, quieting to a seriousness that befitted the beast up ahead, target of their illegal beast hunt.

It was also then that Adalant started to smell the heavy musk of sweat and freshly turned soil, sniffing experimentally at the air for a real scent. Her nose wrinkled as iron flooded her nostrils, salt and green odor with the stale scent of disturbed still water. She felt the air next to her shift, Azben’s nail skittering down her sleeve and making a circle at her elbow. Straight ahead? She glanced back and nodded, pulling her bat from her shoulder and readying herself. She slowed her steps and made her stride longer, shifting forward and squinting ahead. Azben shifted through large leaves, her frame disappearing from sight, her tail a slithering snake as it trailed along.

Adalant waded through thick undergrowth and vines, swinging under a wide and heavy vine that hung low but too high for her to easily cross over. Adalant listened and found the forest devoid of sound, an immediate sign to a disturbance but faintly, she could hear a few birds tweeting away.

The blood from before was way heavy in the air as it clung to her body, probably masking her scent and even Azben’s strange brand of ‘smelling me is like smelling a very fragrant flower in a summer heat’ scent. Maybe it was a deer of sorts? A large animal from the irony yet musky warmed fur smell of a long haired creature.

Sunlight shone heavy upon the clearing she peeked into, blinking blindingly at the sudden touch of brightness. The clearing was small but stretching, medium rocks set into arches that towered over her, and strange statues of sorts, grey and black in colour. White flowers grew, pretty and dainty. Yet, her eyes only fell onto the massive beast sitting, its back to her.

She dared to not breath the curses that waterfalled into her throat, her breath caught at the sheer height of the King. Muscles was the first thing to come to mind, then berry red because its back was probably a brick wall with iron plating, bulging and bright red with white stretch marks. Its arms were thick, a white tail languidly flicking in the grass, white and grey fur a mane with black streaks. Knees poked out from its flanks, knee caps with a crusted look to them. Her eyes widened in bewilderment when hands with talons for fingers threw a bone back, Adalant’s mind now registering the tinged red skull that seemingly looked up at her from her feet. She swallowed her gasp and ducked quickly, feeling the bone sail way past her head, her hair picked up in the wake of the force of its power.

Its hand was wide, large, easily able to crush her head within its palm alone, talons looking like jagged rocks, black with a violet light from the sun above. Its muscles flexed and she was amazed at the sheer fear that gripped her heart tight, lungs painfully cut off from the air she desperately needed. Adalant didn't dare to straighten herself, listening to the King grunt and the cracking of bones as they splintered and the slurping sound that made her stomach flip.

Azben wanted to fight this thing. The thing that could easily crush their skulls, dismember them and eat them. Her heart already sung with fear from its back alone. Imagining its face wasn't the brightest of ideas and she swallowed painfully through the tightness of her throat. Yet, she found herself easing forward. Remembering all the strategies her and Azben had planned for beast’s of this magnitude. Her bat was held tight in her right hand, chest taut as she approached.

She was hiding behind one of the many rock arches when Azben finally appeared again.

And appear she did. Quite literally.

She appeared above the beast, arms crossed and her own talons prepared for an attack, a faint glow of green around them. She was silent as she fell, the sun blinding. Adalant watched the beast look, because he wasn't stupid, quite the intelligent beast, his hand blocking the sun but she was still a dark shadow to him, light flowing past her form and Adalant’s feared dulled to a shallow burn in her stomach.

The thrill of the fight came forward as Azben came down, talons raking through its mane and tearing through its shoulder and half its face, its roar of pain deafening as her body leapt forward into the beginning fray, her bat pulled back and cutting through the air.

She could only grin maniacally as Azben’s snarl of pleasure fitted between them, dark and sadistic in their first attack.

________________________________________________________________

The sun was falling when Marcie bounded out from the tree tops, her growl of anger overshadowing their laughter and they both squaked in indignation, crying out as their arms were twisted behind them and Azben whined as electricity crackled to life in her ankles.

“Adalant Kuygetsa of Loystin and Azben Katrina of the North, you will be sentenced to three months of copying the family rules and attending the stables! Azben, you broke house arre…”

Adalant glared once more at Azben, her cheeky grin too big for a fool in trouble.

Under her sister’s list of broken regulations, Adalant hissed her accusation, “You said you’d help me avoid punishment! I trusted you,” She whispered and could only falter in her anger and betrayal when the dragon woman winked and purred,

“A horrible idea darling, really.”

And how Adalant screamed when she was refused the right to bloody her friends beautiful face.

#prompt challenge #write-it-motherfuckers #original work #xianxia novel #fantasy

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dabiapologist · 6 years ago

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[My Hero Academia Fanfiction]: Fever Dream, Chapter 2

Pairing: Dabihawks, hawksdabi, hotwings, spicywings

Characters: Dabi (My Hero Academia), Hawks (My Hero Academia), Todoroki Enji | Endeavor, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Usagiyama Rumi | Miruko, Toga Himiko

Rated T

Word Count: 3.4k

Chapter 2/3(?)

Tags: i've always wanted to write a sick fic, Don't Judge Me, Sick Fic, Fluff, bratty dabi is my favorite dabi, chock full of cliched tropes, and im not sorry, tfw you catch feelings for your annoying villain liaison

Summary:

"Endeavor-san? Quick question."

"What is it? I'm busy right now."

"How do you know if you're sick?"

"...excuse me?"

"Like, how do you know if you're running a fever? Do you even get fevers?"

"Why?"

"Uh, um, just curious?"

On the other end, he hears Endeavor sigh in annoyance. "Of all the things, Hawks, Why would you be curious about that?"

"Well," Hawks chews his lip anxiously as he turns to look back over his shoulder, back at the sizzling bundle of blankets on his couch.

Sizzling.

Oh. That's probably not a good sign.

// Chapter 1: In Good Conscience //

Read it on || AO3

Chapter 2: Sick Day

It is way too quiet right now.

That is Hawks’ first conscious thought when he wakes up. The fact that he even managed to squirrel away a few hours of uninterrupted rest is already worrying in and of itself, though he’s not ungrateful for it. It’s been ages since he got a good night’s rest. Or any rest, for that matter.

Hawks’ eyes crack open and he bolts upright in bed, fully awake and immediately on his guard, still wearing his hero costume and even his boots. Though at the moment, he is glad for that, as the double doors that lead out to his balcony are still propped open, allowing the freezing morning air to filter in unencumbered into his bedroom.

He walks over and gently closes them, shivering when one final draft enters through the tiny slit in the door before he brings them together.

And now, with the doors closed tight and the noise of the city traffic below effectively blocked out and silenced, the silence throughout Hawks’ apartment is even more pronounced. And eerie.

Knowing who is sleeping just over in the next room, Hawks wasn’t sure what to expect come morning, but it definitely wasn’t this unnerving quiet.

“He’s probably still out cold,” Hawks jokes to himself, somewhat anxiously. Fuck. Thinking back on it, he did headbutt Dabi kind of hard. And for all of his attitude and apathy and hair-trigger pyromania, Dabi really isn’t all that hardy of a person, physically speaking.

Hawks makes a worried noise as he feels the small but painful bump on his own forehead. Crap. Hope I didn’t give him a concussion.

He quickly sheds his hero costume, still somewhat damp and vaguely weird-smelling from the heavy rains last night and changes into a long sleeved thermal shirt and sweats. He lets out a pleased sound as he feels some warmth immediately start to seep back into his frame.

“I wonder if he’s really still out,” He wonders out loud as he leaves the room, cracking a grin,“I bet I could just lay on him for a few minutes and not be cold anymore.”

He promptly shuts up, however, when he sees that the door to his guest bedroom is cracked open slightly. Last night was a blur, for sure, but Hawks is certain that he did close the door after depositing Dabi’s lifeless husk onto the bed and tossing a bunch of blankets over him. He looks down the hall, to the bathroom. The door is open and the light is off. He’s not there, either.

Hawks turns his attention back to the guest room, listening for any sign of the villain. Nothing.

“Dabi?” He whispers into the thin crack in the door, “You up?”

His voice rises an octave. “You alive?”

No answer.

“Yo!” He calls a bit louder, gently pushing the door open with a finger. “Dabi, are y- uh…”

Nervous quickly turns to annoyed. “...What the fresh fuck…” Hawks scoffs as he takes in the state of the room. The lamp and nightstand are both overturned on the floor, and the glass of water and medicine he had so kindly set out for Dabi are also on the floor, though thankfully at least the medicine is still capped and unopened. One of the fancy carved spires of the headboard has been somehow knocked clean off and is sitting next to his foot. How the hell Dabi even managed to do that, or why, is beyond Hawks.

Also, and most notably, there is a giant burn spot in the middle of his very nice, very expensive guest mattress. Hawks’ eye starts to twitch. That mattress was almost a hundred and twenty-five thousand yen.

But amidst the surprisingly not on fire wreckage that was once his expertly decorated guest room, Dabi himself is nowhere to be found. And for that matter, neither is any of Hawks’ bedding.

Hawks blinks once. Twice.

“Did this motherfucker really just make off with all my blankets?”He asks himself, shaking his head, trying to wrap his brain around the idea, and failing. Unbelievable. “What a dick. This is what I get for trying to be nice. ”

He grumbles loudly, combing his fingers through his hair as he leaves the room. Well, Dabi was never one to show any type of consideration or respect for anyone, let alone any understanding of basic social etiquette. Hawks supposes he really shouldn’t be surprised, in that respect. It’s not like Dabi would suddenly become a considerate person just because he was sick.

But still. Did he really have to run off with all of Hawks’ extra sheets? Where the hell would he even put any of it?

Actually, he takes it back. He’s seen the state of Dabi’s so called apartment building. It’s basically condemned, and barely has power. Yeah, he figures, Dabi probably needs all those extra sheets way more than he does.

Feeling a headache coming on, Hawks decides to wash his hands of the whole situation. Dabi’s gone, so it’s no longer his concern. “Whatever, I tried. I guess it’s not my problem anymore, then.” He mutters to himself.

He stops in the bathroom and goes about his morning routine, pushing all thought of the night before from his mind, instead focusing on what he’s going to busy himself with today. His days off are few and very, very, very far between, by his design mostly, and only really happen when his sidekicks gang up on him and bully him into taking a day off before he burns out.

He knows deep down that they’re right, but fuck. That doesn’t make it any less boring.

With a wide yawn, he leaves the bathroom, scratching under his shirt as he ambles towards the kitchen. “I guess I could just get some takeout, and catch up on that sh-fwwwahh!”

Thankfully, he lives alone, so there is no one around to hear the loud, undignified squawk Hawks lets out when he trips over something on the floor and falls face-first onto the carpeted floor.

God, if his sidekicks could’ve seen that.

Hawks knows he isn’t the most graceful creature in the morning, but he’s not messy either. Wondering just what the hell it was he tripped over, he sits up on his knees and looks back.

A black boot.

A very familiar black boot.

“Uh…”

Hawks rises to his feet, still staring down at it, puzzled. “He left without one of his shoes. Okay.”

Now mulling that over, unsure of whether he’s amused by it or not, Hawks continues on his way to the kitchen.

And it’s not long before he stumbles across the other boot. The other boot, plus Dabi’s overcoat and belt, seem to make a beeline across his carpet, past the kitchen into the living room.

Feeling a distinct heaviness beginning to weigh in his belly, Hawks pads curiously along the fabric trail, following the haphazardly discarded garments out into his living room. There he finds Dabi’s pants, sitting on the steps that lead down to the entertainment room.

Hawks’ eyebrows rise at that.

“He’s not wearing pants…?” Hawks asks aloud, hands on his hips. What the actual fuck is happening right now?

He never took Dabi for that kind of guy, yet here he is, staring down at Dabi’s dingy and ill-fitting pants, lying in a heap on the floor. Curiously, he toes at them, and Dabi’s box of cigarettes slides out of one of the pockets. The burner phone he uses to contact Hawks is already sitting some feet away, face down and probably cracked.

The window shades are all down, casting a somber but peaceful grey over the room, and, Hawks notices, the TV is on but both dimmed to the darkest setting and the volume is very low.

“Huh.”

He walks over and tugs on one of the shades, allowing some sunlight into the room.

“Close it,” A new, albeit familiar voice suddenly groans from somewhere behind him, nearly startling Hawks out of his own skin. Hawks could slap himself. He really needs his morning red bull, he thinks, because this is just shameful. Even with his quirk, he didn’t feel another presence in the room. He either needs an energy drink or he needs to go back to sleep for another twelve hours.

Slowly pulling the shade back down, Hawks chances a glance over his shoulder, looking in the direction of the couch. He already has a feeling he knows what he’s going to find. And sure enough, tucked in the L of the couch, with all of Hawks’ missing bedding piled on top of him in a giant nest of fabric, is Dabi. Although at the moment, the only way Hawks knows that it’s Dabi is by his voice, albeit much lower and more hoarse than normal, and by the familiar shock of black hair poking out from the bottom of the mound. The visible portion of his face is partially burrowed into one of the couch throw pillows. Hawks can just make out one bleary blue eye, glaring at him.

“Close it,” Dabi mumbles again.

“I did.”

“Close it!”

“I di-- It is closed!” Hawks says loudly, pointedly motioning to the closed shade. But Dabi is already groaning exaggeratedly as he rolls over under his blanket pile, facing his back to Hawks and curling more into himself.

Hawks exhales loudly.

Oh, boy.

Briefly taking in the scene, if it were anyone else... it could almost be called cute. Like a little kid staying home from school, Dabi is all bundled up and watching infomercials on TV until the good stuff comes on. All he needs is a bowl of soup and a nice, nerdy set of pajamas.

There is a faint sense of nostalgia in it, too. Hawks used to do the same thing when he was small. Hell, he still does it now, as an adult, on those rare instances where the planets align perfectly and he allows himself to acknowledge that he’s feeling under the weather.

Although to be honest, he’s not exactly sure how he feels about having that in common with Dabi, of all people. They’re more alike than he is comfortable admitting; pushing through whatever is in their path, stubbornly trudging forward until they either overcome it by sheer willpower alone or they are overtaken by it. They’re a lot alike, he discovers more and more everyday, and it irks him.

Still, despite his feelings towards the other man, there is a weird sort of… something, to it, seeing a more vulnerable side of Mr. Big Bad Blue Fire, something that Hawks can’t quite put into words. But it’s intriguing; the man behind the villain, demystified somewhat. Under the scars and the smug attitude and flames, Dabi is still a human being, he supposes.

A human being that is still simpering and whining, even though the fucking shade is down.

Risking Dabi’s temper in this unpredictable state, he walks over and clambers up onto the couch too, perching himself on the back of the couch with his wings draped neatly behind him.

He stares down at Dabi for a beat, shaking his head before saying, “You’re not looking too hot there, cupcake,” as he brings his legs up to his chest, balancing perfectly on the back of the couch.

He waits for a second. And then another, and then another. A full minute passes with no movement.

Hawks frowns.

Oof. No reaction to the ‘cupcake’. At all. Dabi hates nicknames, especially the purposely cutesy and condescending ones Hawks likes to give him when he feels like picking a fight. And right now, he is most definitely picking a fight, if only to get Dabi out of whatever sickness haze he’s in and to start acting more like himself.

Then at least Hawks would feel a little better, knowing it’s not really anything serious.

But Dabi doesn’t even move, let alone do what Hawks was fully hoping he’d do, which was jump up from the couch in a huffy ball of blue fire and expletives, challenging him to call him that again.

That’s not good.

They remain like that for a long while; Dabi lying down, possibly asleep, and Hawks staring down at him while twiddling his thumbs, wondering where the hell he goes from here.

He has a sick villain in his apartment. A sick, very dangerous, very wanted villain. A high-ranking member of the organization in which it is his mission to infiltrate and bring down from the inside.

Hawks cradles his head in hand, unpacking all of that in his mind. Yeah, there is a slight chance that, maybe, he did not think this through quite as much as he should have.

“I’m gonna go make some coffee,” He says out loud, more to himself than to Dabi, who he is sure probably didn’t even hear him. He doesn't even really like coffee, but he just needs something pointless and mechanical to focus on for a few minutes, so he can sort this ordeal out in his head.

This is fine, he thinks as he rips open the package of coffee grounds, this is okay. So far, it doesn’t seem like he’s gonna make a scene or anything. Hopefully, he’ll just lie on the couch all day in a borderline coma, and if he’s conscious by tonight, I can maybe sneak him out. Of course, I'll need to blindfold him or something, so he doesn’t know where I live… fuck. I didn’t even think of that.

Hawks freezes, mid-scoop. How the hell had that not occurred to him before? That bringing Dabi up to his apartment would mean letting the villain know where he lived, giving him and the League an extra advantage over him?

Last night he had been so focused on not leaving Dabi half-dead on the street, that he didn’t think of the consequences his little act of kindness could bring for him in the immediate future. And just now, he had been so focused on finding Dabi that he didn't realize that the other man trashing his guest room and passing out on his couch instead was actually the best possible case scenario he could have hoped for in this situation. The last thing he needs, he realizes in a cold sweat, is Dabi, whose face is extremely recognizable, wandering around his apartment building, deliriously sick and liable to cause all sorts of mayhem.

“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” He chants to himself. But what if he was up at night when I was asleep, checking out the surroundings? He continues setting the coffee maker to boil.

Hawks looks back over his shoulder, out over the island and into the living room, where the top of Dabi’s blanket mound is just barely visible.

Then again, he’s so out of it right now, and was last night, too. I mean, I can’t imagine another reason he’d trash the guest room, other than he woke up and was disoriented and freaked out.

“Nah, he couldn't have. Not in his condition.”

He barely made it to the living room, let alone outside or to the windows. Surveillance is the last thing on his mind, right now. Hawks stares at the coffee as it drip, drip, drips down into the coffee pot, condensation beginning to form on the outside from the heat. It’s weirdly calming.

Hawks sighs to himself.

Well, I guess it’s too late to worry about that now. What’s done is done. For now, I just have to figure out how to work this situation to my advantage.

Hawks ceases his mental calculating when he feels a certain vibration ripple through his smaller feathers, along with the near silent rustle of fabric along the kitchen's tiles behind him. At least this time, Dabi doesn’t surprise him. Although, he has to admit, how Dabi manages to move so quietly even while sick to point of delirium is quite impressive.

“Is it ready yet?” He hears the other man ask over his shoulder.

“You were awake?”

“Mmn. Barely.”

Hawks turns, and almost can’t believe his eyes.

Wow.

Dabi, to be blunt, looks like a straight up corpse that was freshly rolled out of a grave. His eyes are glassy and squinted somewhat, sensitive to the light in the kitchen, and his skin, the parts that aren’t scarred and unhealthy, are so pale he looks almost otherworldly. Save for his nose, which is a little pink around the nostrils. And, just like last night, he still seems unsteady on his feet; there is a noticeable side to side sway as Dabi stands there, eyes unfocused.

Still, Hawks can’t fight the smile that is creeping onto his face. When he first met Dabi, never did he imagine that one day in the near future, that same smug, lying bastard face would be in his kitchen, staring back at him while cocooned in what Hawks is sure is no less than ten different blankets and bed sheets. Currently, the entire bottom half of Dabi’s face is covered, allowing Hawks to only really see him from the nose up.

“Are you cold?”

“Yeah.”

Hawks snorts to himself as he turns back to the coffee pot, shutting it off after it chimes. “I didn’t even think you got cold.”

“When I’m sick, I do.” Dabi says, without much fanfare. Huh. It’s a little unnerving, Dabi giving straight answers, for once. He’s certainly being a lot more forthcoming than last night, that’s for sure.

Ah, the straightforwardness that comes with realization and the cessation of denial.

“Is it ready?” Dabi asks, already reaching for the coffee pot.

“Yeah, it’s rea- Hey! What the fuck are you doing, you lunatic?!”

Hawks quickly but carefully wrestles the still scalding hot coffee pot out of Dabi’s bare hands, managing to catch him just seconds before he upends the open pot over his face and into his mouth.

“I’m cold,” Dabi moans, glaring at him. Hawks glares back in disbelief.

“Okay, can I put the shit in a cup first? God!” Still holding the coffee pot tightly by the handle, Hawks shoves past Dabi to get to the cupboard and pulls out two mugs.

“This ain’t Game of Thrones, you fucking jackass,” Hawks snaps as he pours the coffee out into the mugs, “You're not a dragon. And you don't need anymore third degree burns.”

Dabi mumbles something rude but thankfully unintelligible as he lumbers closer, still keeping a tight grip on the blankets around him.

“What the fuck does that even mean?” He mutters as he bumps Hawks out of his way, “Move. I want coffee.”

He swipes one of the mugs before Hawks can even protest --that was his mug-- and does exactly what he had intended to do before: he chugs the piping hot liquid so fast he upends the mug over his face, eyes rolling shut blissfully. He doesn’t even stop to breathe.

Hawks watches the scene with saucer-wide eyes, and silently accepts the empty mug back when Dabi hands it to him some ten odd seconds later, a sated little grin on his face.

“I… stand corrected…” Hawks says in shock. Did he even feel that? Hawks has so many questions. But right now, he only settles for a few. “You good now?”

“Mm, yeah.”

“Are you still cold?”

“M’no.”

Hawks slowly raises a finger and points over to the couch. “Will you go back to sleep now?”

Dabi follows his finger. “Mm-hm,” He mumbles before he abruptly turns and ambles out of the kitchen. Hawks watches him go, not quite believing how easy of an interaction that was. Dabi and easy are two words that don’t belong in the same sentence. Ever.

He watches him go until he sees Dabi tumble face first down onto the couch. Hawks listens for a few seconds, to the rustle of sheets and blankets and Dabi’s little muttered curses as he makes himself comfortable in his blanket nest again.

When he finally settles down, Hawks lets out a loud exhale, allowing himself to take a sip of his now warm coffee.

He doesn’t like coffee all that much, but still, he already recognizes this as a rare moment of peace; one of the few, if any, he’s going to get today, so he takes advantage of it.

Halfway through the cup, he hears Dabi groaning from the living room and rolls his eyes. Rare, and so very, very brief.

He sets the cup down on the counter loudly.

What now?

That, he realizes as he walks out the living room, is not a question he really wanted an answer to.

#dabihawks #hawksdabi #hotwings #spicywings #bnha fic #fanfiction meme #bnha fanfiction #expect chapter 3 by this time next week most likely!

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omgficrecsplease · 6 years ago

Text

omgcp fanfic starter pack!

hi y’all! we here at omgficrecsplease have put together a quick, little check please! fanfic starter pack! all fics are sorted by pairings and we hope you enjoy! and be sure to check out all the recs we have posted here! have a wonderful day y’all! :D

Jack/Bitty

A Little Bit Closer by marswithghosts

E | 107,963 | Summary: Eric Bittle's To-Do List:

1.) Frame Masters in Library and Information Science diploma and send to Mama, because she never understood the lack of sleep and abuse of caffeine, but she sent cookbooks and money for good chocolate, bless her. 2.) Throw away every last highlighted article, graded paper, and syllabus, because they are no longer needed, thank the sweet Lord. 3.) Promote the library's new periodic reading series, because it wasn't the capstone project for nothing. 4.) Harass Boston Bruins star Jack Zimmermann into taking a picture for @BPLWestEnd to promote the reading of his new children's book, Jacky's Bad Days. 5.) Do not ogle Boston Bruins star Jack Zimmermann's ass. 6.) Fail step five. Repeatedly.

Ice Crew Please! by rosepetals42

T | 61,433 | Summary: Jack Zimmermann was drafted first by the Providence Falconers when he was eighteen years old. He is good at hockey. Very good. His team won the Cup his second year and now, in his third year, they are looking good. Jack should be on top of the world. And some days, he manages to convince himself he is.He’s not, of course.

Enter the Ice Crew.

AKA: The Ice Crew AU

maybe i'm waking up by idrilka

M | 157,904 | Summary: It’s almost funny. All he ever wanted was to play hockey, to play in the NHL, to win the Cup. This—Samwell, the team, the Haus—was supposed to be just a detour, but now it feels more like a destination he failed to realize he’s already reached.

(Or: Jack signs with the Falconers, graduates, and leaves. It's the hardest thing he's ever done. What comes after is even harder.)

self reflection by sinspiration

T | 29,218 | Summary: Bitty is in Annie’s, bent over his textbooks and wondering, not for the first time, why he decided to take French as a language (oh yes, it’s because so many old recipes are written in French, he’s going abroad there to study food history, can’t wait for the summer; half of fall and then winter semester until he goes, but that doesn’t help him now does it), when he hears someone clear their throat. “Excuse me, is this seat taken?” Oh boy. Eric doesn’t even bother lifting up his head. “Sorry, not a girl and not interested.”

Something Like This by emmagrant01

E | 285,748 | Summary: Jack thought his first year in the NHL would be 100% about hockey, but the reality is so much more complicated. (AU where the Goodbye for the Summer comics didn’t happen, because I had already written 80K words of this. But just because it’s canon doesn’t mean we can’t still enjoy long, angsty, get-together stories, amirite?)

Alternate summary, courtesy of Dracavia: What if Bad Bob didn't say anything at graduation?

Nursey/Dex

a service i can render by miastree

T | 73,484 | Summary: (11:48) Hey Bits are you free on Saturday? I want to go and see a movie or something (12:09) damn right im free (12:09) this is america

Dex wonders if the person that keeps ceaselessly texting him at all hours is at all interested in legitimate conversation or if his life is, genuinely, that boring. He keeps replying anyway, because for some reason, the appeal of a clumsy, nosy, ex-hockey-playing ballet dancer that types in all lower case happens to be greater than he first thought.

Standing right outside my door by eleanor_lavish

M | 5,594 | Summary: “I’ve been doing holidays alone for years, bro. I mean, I spent more holidays at Andover than in New York.”

Dex’s fingers tighten on the steering wheel. He kind of really hates Nursey’s parents right now, even though he’s never met them. He wants to yell at Nursey about this ridiculous chill he has going on, about how it’s fucked up, ask how he’s not just pissed off all the fucking time, but he looks over and Nursey’s eyes are still closed, and he’s curled in on himself in the seat. “Yeah, well. Not this year,” he says firmly.

I Know I Am, But What Are You? by sysrae

E | 19,322 | Summary: “I need you,” says Dex, “to be my fake date at my family Christmas. Please.”

“Cool,” says Nursey, mouth operating on Chill Autopilot while his higher brain functions come to a screeching halt. “I can do that.”

Bitty/Jack/Kent

touchy subject by applecrumbledore

E | 49,578 | Summary: Bitty finds a photo booth strip and almost doesn't recognize Jack because he's not sure he's ever seen him grin off-ice before, and his hair is so long it curls around his ears, and he's so, so young. It takes Bitty a few long seconds to realize the boy he's kissing is Kent Parson, with the same backwards cap and everything.

I Watched It Begin Again by jacksbits (fragilehuge)

E | 19,979 | Summary: Kent hits on a stranger at a party. Except the party is at Jack’s house and the stranger is Bitty. It’s not Kent’s smoothest move.

Infinity, Plus One by SummerFrost

E | 75,577 | Summary: Eric Bittle hoped to find a lot of things at Samwell University, but being caught in the cross-fire between his surly captain, Jack Zimmermann, and his friendly-but-moody alternate captain, Kent Parson, was certainly not one of them.

Ransom/Holster

Five Things Adam Birkholtz Learns in HDFS 332: Healthy Couple Relationships by EllyAvon

T | 6,079 | Summary: HDFS 332: Healthy Couple Relationships is just the night class Holster is taking with Lardo to fulfill one of his core requirements. He doesn't expect it to drastically change his life.

OR: The Weirdest Healthy Relationships PSA Ever.

OR: Wholesome Holsom

In a Different Frame by sunfair

E | 4,853 | Summary: Holster is determined to become somebody's boyfriend. Too bad he's kind of an idiot. He figures it out, though.

someone as good for me as you by astrolesbian

T | 7,056 | Summary: “So tell me,” Justin’s mother says, all business, “is your boy going to propose?”

“What, Jack?” Justin says, and doesn’t really think much of it, because his mother eats up the details of Jack and Bitty and JackandBitty like Holster eats up rom-coms.

His mother sighs, and he can practically hear her rolling her eyes. “No, baby, I meant Adam.”

Shitty/Lardo

Exeunt, Pursued By Heteronormativity by psocoptera

M | 35,786 | Summary: Shitty Knight takes a post-graduation road trip. Four friends, six thousand miles, two tents, several embarrassing photos, a giant rabbit, three cops, and a bear.

Jack/Kent

It's a Good Life If You Don't Weaken by garden of succulents (staranise)

E | 33,373 | Summary: Making it through the draft is just the beginning.

Kent and Jack are on different teams at opposite ends of the continent. They're living up to huge expectations. They're not supposed to show pain. And not everything they do to get by is precisely healthy.

Fortunately, they're not totally alone.

right on time by leetlebird

T | 49,428 | Summary: Eric Bittle doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to dating, but even he’s embarrassed for himself when he starts flirting on Tinder with a guy who has a weird cat obsession, abs so perfect they border on trashy, and DL in his profile.

Eric Bittle also hates the office finance guy, Kent Parson, more than is probably healthy to hate one of your coworkers.

These two things are in no way related.

Or, the You’ve Got Mail AU that had to be written.

didn't ask for you by Mizzy

M | 24,702 | Summary: Kent Parson has well over ninety-nine problems. He has a chronic potty mouth, a sneaking suspicion he may be an actual idiot, a narcissistically-named cat with gas issues, too many sisters... the list goes on.

Kent Parson has more than ninety-nine problems and Jack Zimmermann — freshly, resentfully and recently traded to the Las Vegas Aces — is definitely one of them.

Gen

Chime Hours by MarquisdeHockey (SpacePunkStevie) (note: it’s tagged for ships but it’s firmly gen)

M | 54,811 | Summary: Back in Montreal, not long before the draft, Jack had died. But only for a bit.

The witch he'd met there had very kindly saved his life, so he was inclined to forgive him any small oversight. For instance, the lack of instruction manual or, perhaps, the fact that he'd neglected to mention Jack's new psychic powers.

So he kept his head down. Played hockey. Tried to navigate old friends and new teammates. And, occasionally, he'd have to go and stop a death he'd seen coming like he was some sort of conscientious banshee. What he absolutely didn't want to do was to solve any mysteries or delve any deeper into the whole magic... thing.

Series

Best Laid Plans by Euphorion

E | 18,596 | Summary: "Dude," said Holster, his eyes huge, "that's so sad. We gotta get them together."

"This isn't a romcom, Holtzy," Ransom said, patting his arm. "I'm sure that's not what Shitty had in mind."

"Actually," said Shitty, "that's exactly what I had in mind. And I've got a plan."

#omgcp fic rec #check please fic rec #fic list: starter pack #mod danielle #obvs this is by no means comprehensive but we hope you all will like it!

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pongpalace · 7 years ago

Note

oooh how about “Is it too early to have a breakdown this week?”“It’s Monday.”“That doesn’t answer my question.” Maybe erm...Zimbits orrrrr NurseyRans, or Camilla/George? Any ship you want, really

ooooh, im always in a Camilla/George mood also on ao3)

George isn’t ashamed to admit it, but she’s cried over her job before.

The first time was when she got the Assistant GM position and became one of the first woman with such a high level management position in the NHL. Those were happy tears and came after years of fighting tooth and nail to get recognized for her hard work. Those tears happened in a bathroom stall of the rink she’d been at when she got the news, and also got her kleenex handed under the stall when the woman next to her heard and worried. Those tears make her smile now when she looks back on them, not least because she still has coffee with Tai when they’re in the same city.

She’s cried over trades, over wins, over loses, over shitty interns and shittier men who think they can do her job better (they can’t). She’s cried in the bathroom nearest her office, the ones down by the ice and locker rooms, and she’s cried in the car on her way home. George is an emotional person and managing a hockey team takes a lot out of her and her way of dealing with the emotions is crying.

Today’s tears are angry; borne from frustration with the job, on top of a day where everything that could’ve gone wrong has; a textbook case of the Mondays.

First, George came into work without coffee because she got distracted last night before she set the coffee maker and then Camilla distracted her again this morning, so George had to rush through her morning routine which left no time to wait for the coffee to percolate. Her regular Starbucks’ parking lot was under construction so she drove around it twice looking for the entrance to the before giving up and giving into the arena coffee that’s never very good, no matter who makes it.

She got to her office to find that something happened to her computer over the weekend, causing most of the files saved to her hard drive to corrupt. This wouldn’t normally have been such a big deal—she backs everything up onto an external hard drive daily—except last Friday’s hadn’t saved properly, so she lost all the progress she made on the quarterly players reports that are needed for tomorrow’s front office meeting. She had to work through her lunch to redo everything she did on Friday, forgoing the player development analysis that she was actually looking forward to working on. It was such a stupid, ridiculous, busy morning that she had to eat a cold, premade sandwich from the canteen during a business call with the league’s other assistant GM’s about new concussion protocols, a call that was basically a giant waste of time that could’ve been spent on one of the other many things on her to-do list because the league still doesn’t take concussions seriously enough.

The biggest catalyst for the tears happened after the business call though, at an afternoon scouting meeting. It took twice as long as it should’ve because one of the newer scouts hadn’t listened when George said she was looking for a two-way, fast blueliner to balance out Tater’s hard shot and his tendency to pinch up as a fourth forward, and instead brought in yet another big D-man who’d need to spend at least a season in the AHL developing his game before he’d be quick enough for the show, but “at least he used his body and had a good shot.” The scout argued with George about the poor kid’s chances in the NHL in front of the entire scouting team, management, and half of the coaching staff until other George, the Falcs’s GM, snapped at him and the meeting finished as quickly as possible. George has spent most of her NHL career sweating and bleeding to make the men in this stupid league take her seriously, and she’s been mostly successfully what with ten years as an Assistant GM under her belt. It’d been a while since someone had questioned her scouting decisions though, so the meeting knocked her back on her heels, and off balance in a way she hasn’t been in a long time.

George feels justified in kicking off her shoes the moment the door to her office closes behind her and she’s alone. They might scuff the wall a little bit, but it’s nothing that a purposefully placed plant can’t hide. George locks the door and leans back against it just as the tears spill over; a culmination of an absolutely shitty day, coming out in quiet tears and an unfortunate runny nose.

The Falconers have been a great organization to work with, and other George and the owners have made it clear that they have George’s back since she started with the organization, even before the team started playing into the postseason more often than not. It’s when new people are hired on into roles that technically make George their boss that she’s reminded what a boy’s club the NHL can be. It’s exhausting when her every move is questioned by people who don’t know half as much as they think they do, especially because George has the degree and the experience that makes her really good at her job, but no one seems to count her playing on while managing a Div-I hockey team through college, and winning an Olympic gold because it’s women’s hockey.

There’s kleenex on George’s desk, the extra soft ones for moments like this, so when she’s done crying, she crosses the room to pull one from the box. She dabs it under her eyes, making a face when it ends up black from the mascara that was advertised as waterproof. She grabs a clean kleenex to scrub all over her face, hoping to rub away the salty tear tracks that have dried on her cheeks.

The clock on the wall only reads 2 o’clock, and George still isn’t done with the player reports so she settles into her chair to finish them after unlocking the door in case someone needs her. She hopes the glare that she left the scouting meeting wearing will discourage that though.

George is left alone until 4, but then is called into an emergency managers meeting when news breaks that one of the players they’d been ready to trade draft picks for broke his ankle. It’s a long debate about whether or not it’s worth going through with the trade and rehabbing him in Providence or trying to find someone else to play on Jack’s wing without putting them over the salary cap so it’s after 8 o’clock by the time George leaves the office and then there’s traffic from an earlier pile up accident on the way home so George doesn’t actually get home until 9 o’clock.

The house smells like pizza and the candles that Camilla insist smell like the beach, but actually smell like clean laundry. It’s a weird mix, but comforting and a reminder that George has more outside of taking care of the hockey team, though she still feels like she could sleep for days and still not be ready to face to face the rest of the week.

She finds Camilla in the master bathroom, her laptop balanced precariously on the toilet seat and blasting some spotify playlist while she showers. George lowers the volume, her way of telling Camilla that she’s home, and shucks her dress pants and underwear in one go, kicking them off while she fights with the buttons on her blouse. She’s already got the shower door open when she unhooks her bra and throws it over her shoulder. She doesn’t see where it lands.

“You’re home late,” Camilla says, turning to rinse out her hair. George nods and waits until she’s finished to trade spots with her, getting her own hair wet, but mostly just trying to see if the hot water relieves some of the tension of the day. She rolls out her neck and tries to get the water on the knot that seems to have been steadily growing since this morning. Camilla finishes running the conditioner through her own hair before she steps into George’s space for a kiss, hooking her arms around George’s neck and pressing in exactly where the knot is.

“Is it too early to have a breakdown this week?” George asks when they break apart. Camilla raises an eyebrow, reaching to squirt shampoo into her hands. George lets her turn her so she can massage the shampoo into George’s hair, scritching along her hairline. Her eyes fall shut.

“It’s Monday,” Camilla replies. She taps George’s side so George leans back and rinses out her hair. Camilla gets more conditioner into her hands and runs that through George’s hair.

“That doesn’t answer my question,” George says.

“Aw babe.” Camilla’s eyes are big and concerned. “It’s a little early to have a breakdown, but I’ll support whatever you want to do.”

She drags George in for a hug and George tucks her nose into her neck, willing herself not to cry again. She won’t have to explain her day Camilla; she’s been in sports for as much as her life as George has so she gets it, gets having to fight to have her voice heard over the shouts of men who think their voices are the only ones worth listening to. She’s been so loud as a sports journalist, covering women’s sports and bringing attention to how amazing these women athletes are, with little to no reference to their male counterparts because women’s sports can, and should, stand alone. George loves her so much.

They stand pressed together, swaying slightly to the beat of whatever song is playing, until the water starts to go cold, and Camilla reaches around George to adjust the knobs.

“There’s leftover pizza,” Camilla says. She slides past George so she can rinse out the conditioner in her hair before George does the same. “You wanna eat that before your scheduled breakdown, G?”

“Don’t make fun, we were having a moment.”

“Can we finish the moment in bed? My fingers are starting to get pruney.”

George huffs out a laugh; shutting off the water and letting Camilla bully her out of the shower and into a warm towel. She pulls on the team USA sweatpants she’s been using as pjs recently and a soft t-shirt that mysterious made its way from Camilla’s side of the closet into hers. Camilla’s fingers are gentle as they comb through her hair, and George tries to be just as gentle while she braids Camilla’s hair.

They climb into bed, under separate blankets because they both learned a long time ago that they’re no good at sharing when they sleep, but they find their way to the center of the bed to cuddle.

“D’you want pizza though? You must be hungry,” Camilla says, tucking herself under George’s arm. Her shampoo smells like home and her the weight of her body on George is comforting in a way that little else is.

“I just want you,” George replies, though she really hasn’t eaten more than a couple power bars and one of Jack’s gross protein shakes since her late lunch. She’s comfortable right now and unwilling to move if it means having to stop touching Camilla.

Camilla twists and stretches so she’s right in George’s face, propping herself up on her elbows. “You have me, you giant cheeseball.” She’s slow to lean down for a kiss so George surges up and mashes their lips together, swallowing down the amused sound that Camilla makes. The kiss manages to be light and teasing until Camilla nips at George’s bottom lip so she licks past the seam of Camilla’s lips, hands coming up to frame Camilla’s face. George runs her thumb a long Camilla’s jaw and wants to flip them to deepen the kiss even further but then her stomach growls and Camilla pulls back with a wry grin.

“Okay, pizza would be nice then too,” George admits. Camilla presses another kiss to her lips and then to her cheek as she kicks off her covers.

“I love you and I’m sorry you had a shitty day,” Camilla says seriously once she’s standing. George’s heart swells with a fondness that’ll never get old.

“Love you too,” she says, and follows Camilla back down to the kitchen.

They eat the leftover pizza at the sink, trading tomato-y kisses between bites, and this time George sets the coffee machine before Camilla distracts her more so tomorrow is probably going to be better than today.

(It is.)

#omgcp #georgia martin #camilla collins #georgia x camilla #femslash #angryspace-ravenclaw #checkplease #this got outta control though i meant to do like 500 words and then i got on a rant #also completely unbeta'd so here's to all the typos i'll find when i wake up #i either beat or tied my record for fast prompt filled #so that's good i guess

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quonit-aceattorney · 7 years ago

Text

2.4 Reaction

Rules:

Q = Me, Quonit.

BF = Bardic Feline, the friend that made me spend 30 dollars on the game and whom I am messaging

I don’t use those when I send the messages close enough my username doesn’t appear.

Any typos (unless they are funny and part of the conversation) will be fixed.

x Notes x

This case is why i bought the game. I comment on it a lot more than the others so it is much longer.

Index

—

:moments after completing 2.3:

Q: I CAN PLAY FARWELL MY TURNABOUT NOW

Q: dammit you're probably asleep

what is this

who is me

nobody cut the moon in half that's silly

where is the murder

where is Juan

WHERE IS EDGY

Q: hi powers!

BF: hahaha no I'm awake

Q: yay!

I am very excited

hi pearl!!!

BF: and you've actually already seen Juan, he just hasn't been named as such

Q: ???

what???

well ill have to figure it out

BF: I'll give you a hint: he was one of the dude's on stage

BF: one of the competing hero guys

Q: interesting!

I'm not old I just have a different taste.

BF: hahah it's not hard the game is about to tell you anyway

Q: pearly why :(

alright!

BF: PEARL THE MERCILESS

Q: SHE IS!!!

AND I AM RAISING HER APPARENTLY!!!

bright red guitar... Juan!

BF: hahah WELL SOMEONE HAS TO, HER MOM IS IN JAIL AND HER DAD NOWHERE IN SIGHT

and yep

Q: :D wait no he's gonna die :(

BF: SADLY, YES

the ceremony was the closest you come to actually seeing him alive during the game! Not counting flashback shots.

Q: AND I WILL DRAW HIM NOT NOT HIS FORM THE LADYVERSE

Juan x Sha is weird Like Juan is a character that does nothing in a lawyer game that Zarla got attached to. Years later, due to an accidental pallet share of two jerks one form lawyer game and one from some weird zombie game, she decided to add Juan. THEN you were interested in him and Zarla drew him a bit more, THEN YOU ADOPTED THIS VERSION OF HIM. NEXT WE HAVE TO GO INTO THE HISTORY BEHIND SHA. This time he's an original character that you for some reason decided "Hey! I like this character, and I like the curedverse, he'd do good in there sense he already has one scar!" and because you were already attached to this weird Juan person, you decided to have them both know eachother. AND THEN YOU SHIPPED IT AND WROTE FANFICTION THIS SHIP IS WEIRD

i wonder if Powers and Gumshoe would get along

matt!!!

MATT

I FORGOT OTHERS ARE HERE TOO

Q: THERE WILL BE MATT, THAT ONE BROWN HAIRED GIRL, AND BLOND ANGIE

FRICK

BF: hahahaha THAT'S....LEAVING SOME DETAILS OUT BUT YES, IT IS A WEIRD SHIP WITH A WEIRD HISTORY

Q: With details it makes it weirder

BF: Actually, Sha's involvement is even weirder than all of that

Q: i wanna hear more! I've only done a little research on Sha so I don't know much... Fire mage OC. At one point you thought about why people default to male so you contemplated Sha's gender. That is all I know.

white scarf red guitar I like Juan :(

BF: Okay, so there's a DIFFERENT fic I did in the earlier days of Lady Fandom that's basically...they characters become aware they are characters in a story and end up in a place full of characters from OTHER stories who are ALSO aware of their own fictional nature (and it actually allows Hunter and Smoker to bond more in the end)

Q: and so matt killed him

I THINK I READ THAT. They went to some bar and it was Zarla's mind and there were all of her OC's (or adopted characters) and a DDR machine.

BF: During the course of the night, Smoker has a conversation with a handful of my OCs, one of who happens to be Sha and they strike up an odd friendship. and yes, DDR

Q: :O I need to read that again.

Also Matt sucks

BF: ANYWAY, one of the rules of the metaworld is that characters in it can pop in an out of other universes, but a lot of times visiting another place means getting forced into its narratives and being forced to conform to its rules.

Q: I wonder what your metaworld looks like...

I wanted to like him (Matt) at least a little bit but then I thought back to the few comics I saw and he sucks Zarla made an AU where they date and it's terrible for Juan and now I hate it more >:(

BF: So if you have magic in your own universe and go visit a place that doesn't have it, you know longer have magic while you are THERE

Q: huh!

BF: Awwwww

POISONED THE MATT WELL EARLY

Q: IM GOING TO TRY AND LIKE HIM

BF: this is going to be interesting

Q: and that is why i decided to show my reaction

time to flash my badge at everyone before i go to the hallway

alright now to the hallway

BF: ANYWAY, so I started (but never got far into) a scenario where Sha and his friends decide to pop in on Hunter and Smoker just to see what their world is actually LIKE for some reason and they basically get sucked into the zombie apocalypse and all three end up infected

Q: very interesting

do you have drafts for that fanfic still haha

BF: here’s where it gets weird. in that little scenario, I imagine them getting out or getting rescued or something and being majorly shaken up by the experience...

Q: huh... I would read this!

I wanna continue but I know if I do time will move and Juan will die

Dangit

i have no choice now

BF: but then I went on to do a thing (only the first part) where a team of Assholes (Griffin, Sparkles, Mousey and...because I needed to fill out the team and he was available...I wasn't that interested in him yet...Juan) find zombie Sha where he'd holed up

Q: ORIGINAL PLANS

BF: (basically one of his teammates locked him in a room when he felt himself starting to turn as a last ditch attempt to protect him. it...failed.)

Q: Game stuff: Dangit the ceremony is starting and Juan is gonna get killed

Q: POOR JUAN

Q: POOR JUAN SERIOUSLY I MISS HIM ALREADY

BF: So TEAM ASSHOLE finds Witch Sha and through sheer luck they manage to capture him alive instead of killing him or being killed

Q: THANKFULLY AFTER THIS IS OVER I CAN HOPEFULLY READ ABOUT AN AU WHERE HE LIVES

THAT ISN'T FULL OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE

RIGHT???

RIGHT????

I think I remember something about that... not sure where I read it but I remember that!

BF: and they decide to put him on a leash and take him with them because Male Witch, that's weird, maybe some medical examiner will be interested in this or something right

BF: I didn't write past them leashing him up and taking him away BUT fast forward and Zarla started the Cured AU

Q: I remember them arguing about it or something... but I remember thinking this:

"Juan meet your new boyfriend"

I don't remember seeing past that in the fan fic. Where the heck did i see it?

BF: And I basically ALREADY had Sha lined up as a witch at that point, so it was easy enough to just jump forward to him being a Cured.

Q: ...I should go to the hotel lobby…

...BUT I DON'T WANT TO!!!

interesting!

BF: hahaha.

Q: help me go to the hotel lobby

...BUT I DON'T WANT TO!!!

interesting!

BF: hahaha.

Q: help me go to the hotel lobby

BF: DID YOU EXAMINE EVERYTHING IN THE HALLWAY WHILE YOU COULD

Q: i can't press A I feel too bad

BF: YOU HAVE TO PROGRESS

Q: NO I DIDN'T ILL GO DO IT NOW

BF: YOU MUST

Q: NO I MUST EXAMINE EVERYTHING IN THE HALLWAY

BF: Hehehe

all the flowers in front of Juan's door

Q: dangit I already have everything in here

ya... It's like they know his funeral is coming

Q: the Japanese text, going by Google translation of it, suggested that some of the flowers were from SIBLINGS of his

Q: NO

SO MANY PEOPLE LOVE HIM

I CAN'T KILL HIM

BF: the English translation just says Family, but the Japanese suggested he has siblings we never get to meet

I LIKED TO IMAGINE HIM WITH A BUNCH OF SISTERS

Q: I THOUGHT I WANTED TO PLAY THIS BUT I DON'T

I DON'T WANNA KILL JUAN

BF: YOU MUST IF YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT EVERYONE

Q: ...I guess i have too...

Q: but-but I like Juan mroe than everyone else!!!

BF: it's an interesting plot!

Q: alright imma go

im going

Q: dammit

I PRESSED A I AM SCARED

BF: You can do iiiiit

Q: Juan please

please don't make me feel too guilty...

SHIT HE'S ALREADY DEAD???

BF: hahah that said, when you get through, the closest thing we have to happy Juan stuff right now is some stuff I did for Alt 2-4 future settings

and the Frozen AU.

Q: I wanna read those instead :(

BF: Juan is comparatively better off in the Frozen AU.

Q: Juan is dead...

he is dead :(

BF: Now if you want one that will TEAR YOUR HEART OUT AND STOMP ON IT, read Somebody That I Used to Know

Q: D:

BF: but only after this case hahah

it's like a perspective change on the events of this case.

Q: Soon i will unlock what I bought this game for

and i don't even know if I want to

oldbag what are you doing here

BF: YOU MUST. YOU HAVE TO

being awesome!

Q: FINE

hahaaha

BF: She's a Juan fan, that'makes her great

Q: oh okay i like her now

hey um what happened to Juan can I like break in and yell at Matt even though im still not 100% sure he did it

I mean he's terrible from what I've seen and heard from both stupid comics and this game so

PLEAD THE FIFTH

OH I FORGOT ABOUT EDGY

DO I GET TO SEE HIM

whatever i wanna punch matt

Q: phoenix you're a lawyer sense when have the questionings ever been useful to you? Fuck the police! Let's go find Matt and punch him!

BF: EDGEWORTH WILL APPEAR

Q: YES

Q: THE NAMETAG SAID BELLBOY AND I THOUGHT THE OTHER ONE RETURNED

but... who would call her?

WHO IS SPEAKING IN CAPS

LOTTA HI

HI GUMMY

BF: hahahaaha yep she's back!

Q: I like these two

BF: and you can't have a case without Gumshoe!

Q: no you can't!!!

He feels distant this second game... THIS WILL CHANGE SOON

WELL YA HE'S MATT

LET'S TALK ABOUT JUAN

what is that picture

what

BF: Fun fact: in the stage play version of this case (which, sadly, did not get an official translation anywhere because it actually gives Juan some lines and it makes him into the MOST ADORABLE DORK YOU HAVE EVER SEEN), and the anime version of this case both give Lotta's role to LARRY

Q: Do you recommend the anime???

MATT SUCKS

THAT PICTURE MAKES HIM LOOK NOT AS EVIL AS HE IS

BF: It has it's good points and it's bad.

Q: alright, I was wondering if at one point I should try watching some of it

BF: the art can be wonky as hell at points, and it feels oddly fast paced because it tries to cram all of the first and second games into one 24 episode season

Q: ??? why would they make it 24 minuets!! That was a bad choice.

BF: 1-5 and 2-1 don't get adapted at ALL (which kind of make sense but)

24 EPISODES

Q: WHAT

this is a weird anime

they should try again but better

BF: HOWEVER they add a whole flashback episode between 1-4 and 2-2 showing Edgey, Pheonix, and Larry as little kids

Q: :O I WANNA WATCH IT

Q: they ramp up the subtext between Phoenix and Edgeworth quite a bit

and they make the silly court dramatics even more over the top

Q: I might enjoy that..

yessss

maybe at one point I'll look at it, it sounds like something I may find funny.

BF: and they did a lot to reduce the parts of 2-3 that people didn't like. (they cut out nearly all of the stuff with people chasing Regina for instance)

Q: Dangit the episodes should've been longer

BF: and they put more emphasis on how the whole circus gang ultimately comes together in the end in spite of their differences.

Q: dangit. Well hopefully it's nice enough.../

BF: More emphasis on Regina realizing that she'd done something wrong and hurt someone, even if it had been an accident

and it kept the fun parts, like Phoenix having to fight a monkey to get his badge back hahah

Q: Gumshoe we're not rivals we're friends

right?

BF: heheh oh Gumshoe

Q: The anime does sound like something I'd enjoy, I'll check it out at some point

BF: SO ULTIMATELY I LIKED THE ANIME BUT IT HAD IT'S ISSUES AND IT WAS WEIRDLY PACED

Q: ALRIGHT

I should record my live reaction to that too haha

BF: on the other hand, it confirmed, after all of these years, the color of Juan's jacket

Q: It's still probably wishful thinking but I still think that one of them saw maybe a snippet of one of Zarla's comics and maybe even just subconsciously used that to make the decision that it was the exact same shade of blue.

WHATEVER

Q: aww man gumshoe do you need some money to buy some fruit maybe

Q: How do I progress I'm stuck with gumshoe, talked about him with everything, and showed him everything

nowhere else has updated

KIWI

Q: Dangit i wanna progress

Q: oh hey a conversation topic i missed

MATT WAS ARRESTED FOR EXISTING OF COURSE

BF: hahaha of course.

BF: hahaaahaha

Q: I DON'T WANNA DEFEND MATT

DANGIT HOW TO I PROGRESS

hey the lobby updated!

I'll defend Matt if there is somebody worse like a serial killer around

Q: why is the radio person >:(

who

crap mything is beeping

ya im here... what do you want from me...

WHO KILLED MAYA

Q: OH MY GOD THERE IS A SERIAL KILLER HERE

HAHAHAHA

BF: MAYA ISN'T DEAD hahahah

Q: OH MY GOD

i know but

THERE IS A SERIAL KILLER HAAHAHAHA

BF: also this game seriously misuses the term 'serial killer"

lololol no this guy is an ASSASSIN, there's a difference. XD

Q: OH MY GOD

WHAT THE HECK

Q: I SAID I WOULD ONLY DEFEND MATT IF THERE WAS SOMEBODY LIKE A SERIAL KILLER AROUND

OH MY GOD HAHAHAHA

WELL MATT YOU'RE WITH ME NOW

BF: (I say it misuses the term cause they kept calling Joe Dark in 1-5 a serial killer...but he was more like a spree killer. If you use a really liberal definition of THAT word.)

YOU GOTTA SAVE MAYA

Poor Phoenix

Q: (True, i was misusing it)

NO I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT THE PERSON WOULD APPEAR I JUST SAID IF THERE WAS A MURDERER AROUND THAT WASN'T HIM I WOULD DEFEND HIM AND THERE IS AND IT'S SO FUNNY

but ya... Pheonix is having a bad time...

Q: i think this is just so funny

HOW DID I GUESS

de killer isn't a name it's a title.

Q: PHOENIX I HAD A DEAL THAT IS ANOTHER KILLER WAS AROUND I WOULD PROVE MATT INNOCENT, AND BY SOME UNSPEAKABLE CHANCE THERE WAS SOMEBODY. MATT IS INNOCENT.

hey we're not at the perspective is Phoenix

this is weird

oh so the bulter is the person who did it

BF: hahaha IT'S ALWAYS THE BUTLER ISN'T IT

Well, nothing else for it, you gotta defend Matt!

Q: I DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF THAT JOKE

I am still shocked

BF: hahaha isn't this case great already?

Q: IT IS

BF: it gets you from the very start!

Q: Juan is dead :(

it does i love it

BF: POOR JUAN

Q: poor Juan indeed... but ZARLA ADOPTED HIM SO EVERYTHING IS OKAY

Q: SOMETIMES

oh my god

MATT WHAT THE HELL

Well uh hi I'm Phoenix and for some reason you look a bit too innocent.

nope I don't like him

Q: you know what I'll like him

for somebody's sake I'm not sure who's but it isn't Maya's

Q: matt probably can think and if he can he thinks evil thoughts

Q: baby powder that's it

I was trying to figure out what he reminded me of

Me: :shows picture of Juan: Matt: Man, too bad he's dead TOO BAD GEEZ WELL I GUESS THAT'S TOO BAD THAT HE DIED WELL I GUESS IM FIND NOW HOOPDEEDOO

Matt: So apparently that warrant does exist after all Phoenix: Ladies and gentlemen I think we may be making some progress here! Phoenix is my favorite character not only because I'm allowed to project myself onto him but because half of the time I don't need to

Matt: Don't let some disemboweled voice boss you around Yes tell me more about this because you believe so strongly I shouldn’t

I can't believe this is the same matt

nooo don't gooo

I don't know if I hate the matt I saw from the comics or this matt more eh they'll collide eventually I know it

Q: Mr. Juan

dangit

Q: crap ya you're right you're both 21

Q: :D

YA THE MAGIC ROCK

he is innocent! INTERESTING

BF: THE PLOT THICKENS

Q: BUT

BF: hahaha I love the line about disembodied voices

coming from the guy who's constantly calling someone or another for advice

Q: UH HUH PLEASE TELL ME WHY I SHOULDN'T LISTEN SENSE YOU THINK SO STRONGLY NOT TO

Q: wait frick I am projecting onto phoenix

oh well :/

oh ya i forgot about save points

Q: FINALLY WE TELL PEARL THAT WE AREN'T DATING

BF: hahaaha

I DO LIKE HOW SARCASTIC NICK CAN BE

Pearl: nick! stop it! don't hide your feelings from me!

Fine Pearl I’m gay

(sorry crackship I think it's fun)

yaaay that should continue MORE SARCASTIC NICK

too the hotel!! I remember this date it wasn't even that long ago...

SHE IS FAN OF JUAN IM ON HER SIDE NOW

Q: Phoenix Juan is good!!!

Q: It's an hour past when I should sleep but I have no reason to today

but should I stay up

Q: wow 4 locks a new record

Q: Lotta help me!!!

why i thought you liked me lotta

finally a pun with Lotta's name. I was waiting for that.

Q: Oh come on Lotta!!! Everybody please stop lying to me!!! Why is Matt the best one here???

HEY I CAN GO INTO THE HOTEL ROOMS NOW

I need to sleep...

but I wanna snoop though people's stuff...

flipping a coin one moment

BF: hahahaaha

Q: heads is play tails is sleep

where is a coin

BF: THE ROOMS WILL STILL BE THERE IN THE MORNING

Q: BUT- BUT I WANNA PLAY NOW MOOOOM

I hid my wallet somewhere and I can't find it

BF: uh oh

Q: this is bad

BF: where do you remember last having it?

Q: I remember hiding it somewhere in the desk

Q: but this is a big denk

BF: hmmm

but it's got to be in their S

OMEWHERE

Q: Somebody might've stolen it though

they're in this house but dammit

BF: So you can start by checking the most obvious drawers and stuff, like the ones you'd open first without even thinking

Also you can go through and straighten stuff up

Q: cleaning gets you to find stuff

BF: exactly!

Q: I really wanted to find my wallet but I found a penny so I flipped it and it said tails and I am upset.

BF: awwwww

Q: Case is interesting, I'm sad he died, I think Matt is fake and he actually is evil, Maya is fine, Peal needs better parents, Lotta finally gets a name pun, Gumshoe is suspicious and I DON'T WANNA FIGHT EDGY IN COURT BECAUSE IF i WIN THEN HE'LL HATE ME FOREVER BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF HE'LL BE THE PROSECUTION ER BUT HE PROBABLY IS AND I'M SCARED I JUST WANNA BE FRIENDS

Q: I'll drop the game but I'm talking to you till I can get the other stuff I need done done.

Q: The anime sounds like something I'd probably like. Sure flaws and weird poses but I make fun of the poses and all of the other stuff sounds great

My biggest problem sounds like the timing... but I can probably live with that if I find it funny enough

Q: i didnt say much cool now I can sleep. Also hope house is good. This case's summery is "The plot thickens."

BF: haha okay

Q: Yesterday I thought "okay even if Matt didn't kill Juan this guy doesn't feel like the person who would constantly argue with him"

Oh hey I can go to the detention center again

Matt for you I will let just sign and ask what you we

Q: You want. I don't like you but I'm game I don't have a reason to hate you get

YET

Q: Well I don't have anything else to say to him so whatever. More looking.

Q: Oh ya I can look in the rooms!!!

BF: yessss

Go snoop in the roooms do it

Q: Look at all of the bears... His family must be liked him a lot :(

Hi gumshoe. I'm mad at you right now.

BF: Family, fans...

Q: Poor phoenix... Thanks gumshoe for asking

Q: I wanna give him a teddy bear!

Thank you gumshoe!!!!!

Pearl gotta map!

Don't worry pearl I'll read it for you

Dead Juan picture :( I want a picture of alive Juan

Q: I feel really bad for this juan... I hope one of the characters does too

Matt was set up, as much as I hate to admit it

Q: ya well if Franz tried to hurt you gumshoe I will kill her... But sadly I can't

Gumshoe: listen here pearl. Never pick up a whip, OK? Don't even think about it

Best advice in the game

Q: Awww well what kind of stuffed animal should I given Juan if he doesn't actually like teddy bears?

BF: lol, honestly, given how many he has and how cluttered his room is right then, i'm willing to believe that teddy tumbled into the waste basket by mistake

how many he HAS bleh

Q: I thought that may be the case too

Crap Franz is here

Well gumshoe I think I found all I need to and I really don't want you to be caught by Franz

Q: I still have Matt's room to search but now I am scared Franz is a there

Q: IT'S BLOND ANGIE

BF: Hai Adrian

Q: Well ANGIE is brown haired Adrian because ANGIE came second

"Why do you call Adrian blond angie" because that is what I first thought when I saw a drawing of her

Haha I like Adrian

Q: HEY stop right there Adrian pearl wanted to come!

Phasing for lunch

Q: YES Pearl watch Juan's show instead

Q: aww

Phoenix: Yeah, I would love to go back in time and relieve a few of the good things... *chuckle* I'm sorry Phoenix what do you mean by that

hey looks like Will knows Adrian!

Pearl you should help this love story you like those right

Q: Matt can you tell me something about your manager

no? How dare you.

Q: hi gumshoe i haven't talked again with you for a but so

So apparently Adrian is really popular No wonder Zarla decided to make her love interest a woman

Q: Going in Juan's room just makes me sad... look at all of the bears... :(

BF: Oh that’s not the only reason she’s almost exclusively shipped with ladies

By the majority of the fandom haha

Q: Interesting, I hope I'll be able to find it when it appears

Q: yess i found a new conversation topic, and it's on Adrian!

Q: I don't think they're dating because Juan is dead

Hey Adrien so they're saying you were dating Juan but he's dead so

pfft no responce okay

HEY LOTTA

HEY GUMSHOE

I bet Juan named all of the bears tbh

wonder if matt will say anything to it

hey he will!

alright well that was fun time to go and figure out what else to do

Q: don't think i can get any of the locks yet but i could try :/ i'll fail though

Q: wait I think the Adrian gossip could have something to do with it!!!

she did say she wanted to do something with taking photos of celebrities

I broke a lock!!! I wonder if I can get the other!

all I have is a newspaper clipping :/ I don't think i have enough info yet but at least I saved before!

hey I did it!!!

Q: now that I did something a room might've updated

Q: I know matt's hiding something and I'm mad

i know I can't but I wonder if I can break any other locks

Q: nope alright Phoenix let's go

Q: dangit im stuck

Q: might as well mourn for Juan while I am

FRICK I EXAMINED SOMETHING AND FRANZ IS COMING

RUN PEARL RUN

WE'RE LEAVING NOW

CRAP

GUYS NO

YOU SHOULD'VE RAN

NOOOOO

I'LL CALL THE COPS ON YOUR FOR HURTING US WITH THE WHIP

YOU'RE DAD IS SHIT AND YOU'RE LAST NAME SOUNDS DUMB

I will treasure this autograph forever ...but I think I'm supposed to use this to get oldbag to talk... :( I don't wanna give it up though

Oldbag's name is Wendy! Dammit! I have no choice >:(

Q:HAVE YOU'RE DAMN AUTOGRAPH FROM JUAN BACK. BUT ONLY IN EXCHANGE FOR INFO

THEY'RE ALL GONE IN AN INSTANT :D

YESSSS

goodbye atougraph

Q: oh one more

nvm

Q: I knew matt was evil!

BF: hahaha

Q: BUT HE IS

MATT I HOPE I CAN STILL GO VISIT YOU SO I CAN KEEP STARING AT YOU ANGRILY

STOP SMILING IM MAD AT YOU

there isn't anything here anyways may just talk to the more likable characters

Q: well i can visit the police station...

I feel really bad for gumshoe :(

Q: hi gummy im really sorry about Franz do you mind if i go to punch her in the face?

BF: I think Matt is hilarious, personally

and poor Gumshoe!

Q: he's gonna pull a knife on me i know it

Franz you cant win please stop torturing my friend

again Matt was set up

BF: oh definitely

Q: Maybe somebody dressed as him or something I dunno that's happened before

HEY

WAS THAT WOMAN BY ANY CHANCE JUAN'S WIFE

Q: no? WELL IT'S THE BROWN HAIRED GIRL HEY I KNOW HER

WHY DOES SHE ALSO HAVE TO BE DEAD

YA I WANNA LEARN MORE ABOUT HER

oh go away Franz

FRANZ NO

WHO SAID THAT

EDGY

OH MY GOD

EDGY I MISSED YOU SO MUCH

EDGY YOU'RE BACK!!!

Q: HE'S DOWNTALKING FRANZ THIS IS THE BEST

EDGY!!!

AND HE ISN'T MAD AT ME!!!

Q: PHOENIX YOU WERE ANGRY ABOUT HIM BECAUSE YOU WERE SAD ABOUT HIM AND HE SAID THAT YOU'RE HATRED IS ONE SIDED AND HE'S BEING NICE PHOENIX THIS IS THE BEST

:DDDD

PHOENIX STOP BEING MEAN >:(

BF: To be fair, he is under a ton of stress right now haha

Q: ya. Poor Phoenix, angry and try

Q: D: Nooo Adrian tried suicide

BF: yep. and this, by the way, ties directly into why she's pretty much universally viewed as a lesbian

Q: alright so that is why the fandom thinks she is a lesbian and why zarla ships her with that person

ALRIGHT

BF: SHE WAS VERY VERY VERY DEVOTED TO CELESTE

Q: noooo Adrian

BF: Zarla also ships her with Franziska, which is hands down the most popular ship for either of them hahah

but yeah...POOR ADRIAN

Q: what hahahaha alright I can see that as a funny ship

Q: EVERYBODY IS SO DEPRESSED IN THIS GAME

BF: and while it's partially his fault, POOR JUAN. I mean yeah he screwed up, he screwed up BAD.

but he was 19 years old and he was the one to FIND THE BODY

Q: DANGIT WHY IS EVERYBODY SO SAD

BF: IT GETS EVEN MORE MESSED UP. you'll seeeee

Q: "POOR PHOENIX", "POOR GUMSHOE", "POOR ADRIAN", "POOR JUAN", POOR EVERYBODY

yaaay i can't wait this case is very interesting

dang I wonder where to go next

I should probably go to adrian

Q: OH PLEASE DON'T TALK TO FRANZ PLEASE BE ON MY SIDE PLEASE I WANNA GIVE YOU A HUG

so they interacted this gives a little more of a reason to ship it

>:( EVIL DON'T PUT THAT THING IN GUMMY

Q: pffft shipping those two alright

i'll try to talk to her before presenting that I know about her attempted suiside

nvm

wonder if i can unlock the thing

BF: I THINK you should have enough to do it...I think. have you talked to Will?

and Lotta?

I know you've talked to Oldbag

Q: I have talked to will

though not recently i probably should

nah ill try to unlock it

BF: just check to make sure you have everything from him

OKAY

Q: fine

BF: I think you should be good

Q: OKAY

YAY

Q: didn't start it yet I'll go ask will

ya i already have averything from him

WHATEVER HEY ADRIAN

Q: frick im stuck hmm

BF: hahaha One detail I love is that there was a vague implication I picked up from Will that he and Juan were on good terms with each other

Q: huh!

Q: ADRIAN I FEEL BAD FOR YOU I WANNA GIVE YOU A HUG BUT I NEED TO COMPLETE THE LOCK THING FIRST

Q: i wiiiin

I like her though I don't wanna say she is the killer

oh ya pearl was listening to all of that

no wonderPhoenix brings her to fun places all of the time!!!

No Miss I wanna give you a hug I think you are great

Q: and I don't wanna be the reason you die!!!

goodbye adrian...

hey the hallway reset!

Q: HI ASSASSIN WHAT DO YOU WANT

BF: TO SAY SOMETHING OMINOUS.

Q: YES

I'm writing that down

Q: oh so the card is the assassin's card okay

Dammit Adrian!

Q: oh boy I escaped

hahaha oh my god i feel so bad for phoenix already

save point!

Q: Hi matt...

I'm sorry about being mad at you i don't think you did it anymore... well, I didn't really in the first place. I felt like you were resposible though, and even if you weren't, you're terrible anyways If you do anything though I will revert back to my pervious opinion for not have a pat on the head

Phoenix uh the assasin is calling you

Q: pfft hahahaha

I THINK THE ASSASIN IS FRAMING MATT

wait where is the prosicution

WHAT

SOMEBODY SHOT FRANZ

I AM ANGRY AND I AM SHOCKED

WHY AM I ANGRY SOMEBODY SHOT HER

ASSASSIN WHAT THE HELL

hiiii eeedggyyyyyyy before you ask i didn't do it

Q: GUMSHOE YOU'RE FREE NOW

OH MY GOD THERE IS NO WHIP WE'RE FREE FREEEEE

edgy is great'

hey the guitar case had something to do with it

I don't know what yet but it has

With Franz gone i feel like a weight i had no idea was there has been lifted Assassin, you get a pass at the moment.

Q: ya no if anybody in this entire game is gay with the game full on actually agreeing and making a few jokes out of it it's Adrian

Q: i think that something is wrong and that it's the assassin's fault

why does matt have hair over half of his face anyways he looks suspicious

Q: IM FINDING EVERY REASON TO HATE HIM BUT FOR NOW HE IS FINE I GUESS

Q: Still bothered that the matt im talking too doesn't seem like somebody who would fight with everyone

Q: Ya Phoenix that's what matt told you, that he didn't see Juan as a rival

like i beleive him

Q: oh ya i forgot to say what i was doing

Q: "Alright so I've learnt this a few times"

"When you don't know something about the evidence ask that peice of evidence" it works very well for some reason

Q: dang then I better save before the evidence tab pops up!

Q: Wait Juan was killed by... wait gumshoe said something about the scarf on his neck. It has to do with that.. was there blood on the scarf? Was there any blood on it? Why was another knife stuck in his chest later? Was that knife this knife?

what the hell is up with the wineglass of tomato juice?

Q: Why would Adrian drink tomato juice out of a wineglass if Juan is the one who loves the color red

Q: >:( Then why didn't you wonder if Adrian was the killer!

Q: dangit why oldbag

oh my god she kept the nickname edgey-boy

EDGY REALLY DOESN'T LIKE HER IT SEEMS HAHA

I am reminded of that picture I drew

Q: all you two have in common is the appearance for the most part and the same first name (well ladyverse Juan is Rivera which is Ace Attorney Juan's last name in a different translation I'm pretty sure so also kinda last name but it's not like they'd know that) as well as a red guitar and an interest in music... and a friend that looks like Angie/Adrian and like 6 other things but it's a coincidence

DOODLES

BF: hhahahahaah JUST LET IT GO MR. JUAN

Q: I feel smart

Probably just me being scared for life by Franz "I'm suspicious about Matt's face" "BUT THAT'S WHAT SHE WANTS ME TO THINK IT MUST BE HIS CLOTHES"

Q: oldbag stay behind the thing what happened

Q: ya but didn't Matt not know about that show afterwards

Q: wait but he didn't stab juan

what

ASK THE KNIFE

HEY IT WORKED

Q: ya but it doesn't make sense

why would he bring the knife if he didn't wanna kill him???

Q: To frame Matt!!!

Matt the rope is getting thicker but don't get your hopes up

Q: the autograph? Juan? Adrian???

Adrian!

Q: Ya but it'd seem reasonable is Adrian started talking with Juan after the brown haired girl (I forgot her name I'll call her R for now) died because he knew her. Then gossip spread.

This case is probably darker than that

...but i can't talk about her attempted suicide... Adrian :<

Q: ...Lotta knows!

I could probably do something with that... I really wanna help Adrian

Q: I knew oldbag stole the camera >:(

Q: um

sorry oldbag but i really wanna find Lotta's camera. Lotta visits me more and... she's just been the better friend. I hope you understand, right?

I knew it >:D

Q: ...who's room is the guy dressed at nickle samurai coming out of?

When did Matt say that???

Q: ...hmmm...

wait there is something wrong with it how dare the text block it

Q: And sadly, Adrian is small

why are we calling her the killer!!! D:

Mia: He's just letting the trial run itself -- as if he's only along for the ride that's because he is

Phoenix he wants to see you succeed and to prove a point! Phoenix needs a hug

it's adrian... :(

Q: ...She did though...

...I'm sorry Adrian...

Don't worry Maya escaped Phoenix dangit

I wanna say wait im sorry Phoenix...

...dangit...

you know nobodyw ould care anyways if he did raise an objection

Edgy objected for me?? But you know nothing about her kidnapping!

Q: Phoenix is having a tough time I'm happy that Edgy is being nice to him

save point!

Q: Adrian I am sorry

Q: It won't be alright phoenix Adrian...

What if she dies??? D:

Q: how did the judge get his job

Q: but i don't wanna attack herrrr

"What if you think Angie is two people how come you never considered Adrian" They don't have the same glasses

Q: Adrian what about the guitar

did you think anything of that

Adrian im talking to talk to you in code

but what about the guitar

Q: i wanna know what happened to it

Q: ya but if you didn't wanna drink it then why did you get it in the first place

If you were shocked then how did you set it down before it existed

Q: Adrian please don't be upset

hey something about the guitar! What the heck happened to it!

hey I can talk about the guitar case!

Q: i wanna know what happened to the guitar!

ya but WHY was it empty?

why did you open it though? I know you don't know but why

Q: ...wait didn't somebody say earlier only Juan's figerprints were on it?

Dammit I really don't wanna keep saying you're lying Adrian

then if you were wearing gloves

then it'd prove you were the person in the picture!

Q: wait you weren't wearing gloves

SO EITHER you were the person in the picture, or you didn't have gloves and that wineglass was yours and you did tip over the vase!

Q: what else could be in the guitar?

case

Q: what if Juan opened it

probably not but somebody did stab him "after he was dead"

BF: hahah what could have been inside the guitar case? Well, we know it wasn't the GUITAR

Q: ahhh i don't knooowwwww and I can't save either

i pressed the wrong thing!

wait what

it's working???

Q: what is it a photo of???

what???

HUH WHAT OKAY

Q: what is it a photo of?

Q: It's of the pic off steel samurai show and Phoenix is saying the costume is in there and I am very shocked because I don't know what happened

ya but if she was wearing it while leaving then why was her in the costume shown going there

BF: hahaha well...okay I'm going to assume you have the photo of SOMEONE leaving Juan's room wearing Matt's costume Q: ya and i don;t like the idea of it being my frien BF: and that I'm not sure of. there's more than one problem with this case's timeline that I've seen because I've overanalyzed it to death BF: But right now you are going with the logic that it is HER in the costume leaving the room Q: huh! So there is a continuity error??? it being a spare would make sense... BF: mostly in the thing you just said...how did someone not notice her going into his room without the costume and leave wearing it Q: ah. Dangit i trusted this case BF: but that doesn't matter for the sake of your argument...the thing you need to prove is that it was HER in that cotume, and not Matt. Q: dangit but I like her more than matt! BF: Do it for Maya!

Q: but she's already escaped!

BF: she's not as free as you seem to think she is

Q: ya i know but

That looked like a basement so she must be in the same house i bet

BF: she's still locked in, that's all

Q: ah.

BF: OKAY but Adrian...and yes, the game is very much playing with your feelings...the key thing you need to keep in mind is that Adrian is TINY

Q: ALRIGHT

BF: she's like...5 foot four inches to Matt's almost 6 feet

Q: Wonder if there are canon heights posed for everybody somewhere

BF: if you keep THAT in mind...her HEIGHT...you should be able to spot the thing in the photo that proves it can't possibly be Matt in the costume

BF: and you can check it against the Nickle Samurai poster to see the contradiction

Q: Well I said earlier that the pants seemed much too long so it must be somebody small (Adrian)

BF: ding ding ding! you got it!

Q: yaaaay

Q: D: I feel bad for Juan

BF: and yeah, there actually are official heights for nearly everyone. The Fan wiki for the game has everyone's heights (everyone who was given one) on their respective character pages

and I know right? :<

So that's how we know for sure that Matt was two inches taller than Juan. XD

Q: he should've won dammit then none of this would've happened

hey is that what happens in one of the AUs where he lives? that'd probably be a spoiler to the case.

pfft that's why Juan's hair is more poofy

BF: hee hee

Ummm...actually, no, I haven't done an AU where Juan wins the Grand Prix, and neither has anyone else, as far as I'm aware.

Q: oh well

BF: But weirdly enough, if Juan has won, that MIGHT have spared him. But I can't say why

Q: alright!

BF: In any case, I'm convinced the whole contest was rigged in Matt's favor, but that's just speculation.

Q: WELL YA

I hope soon i'll understand why Matt is evil

Q: yes but you see JUAN WAS KILLED BY THE SCARF not the knife!!! Why does everybody forget this!!!

BF: hahha poor Adrian just floundering at that point and going but...but the evidence that it was Matt...

Q: but... but Adrian the evidence that it WASN'T matt

BF: (I know you're having to be awful to Adrian, but keep playing...things are FAR from over.)

Q: (alright! I hope that she doesn't die!)

Q: To frame Matt@

M@ is apparently a thing now

BF: HAH

WHY NOT IT'S FUNNY

Q: it's not Adrian though!!!

I HAVE NO CHOICE AT THIS POINT

dangit

Phoenix: MISS ADRIAN ANDREWS, I CHOOSE YOU

haha

quonit

I AM SORRY ADRIAN

SHE'S GONNA START CRYING STOP IT

Q: Dammit Franz you're still hurting me

Edgy I know she didn't do it right now i just wanna prove Matt didn't do it

Q: I always felt like pleading the fifth was like admitting to something. Good job Adrian for making it ambiguous.

but mayaaaa

Edgy you DON'T UNDERSTAND

thank you edgyyyy

Q: Mia he's a good objection buddy that is what he is

Q: just let matt be not guilty but also let me defend her later

Q: that's because she didn't the killer!

Q: also does the lock thing not work in court

Q: alright i can see why Zarla and other people ship it

Mastermind is the person who kidnapped Maya god dammit

BF: You are FAR from done with this trial. >:3

Q: yaaaay

i need to sleep soon though

BF: hahah okaaaay

I am up too late myself hahah

:Next day:

Q: back to this question WELL requesting not guilty would make Adrian wanna testify so that she isn't founded of murder, but if i just made her testify she would give me one anyways.

Q: i flipped a coin and it chose to do the not guilty one so

IM SORRY ADRIAN BUT

EDGY NO SHE TOLD ME NOT TO TELL ANYBODY ABOUT THIS I SHOULD GO BACK AND CHOSE THE OTHER OPTION I FEEL TO GUILTY

i actually stopped the game i was too upset oh my god

now for the other option

this is so much better already

the coin hates me

nvm it's going the same

Q: I WILL HELP YOU ADRIAN I AM SORRY EDGY IS BEING LIKE THIS BUT YOU KNOW I KINDA HAVE TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW I'LL GET YOU A BOX OF COOKIES LATER

Q: alright thank you adrian

Q: but why were there no fingerprints on the case still???

Q: ugh whatever

Q: i wanna know Matt's weaknesses pleaaaseee

Q: well it's good Franz was shot

oh well too bad phoenix

EMPTY SEAT WHAT

poor phoenix D:

Q: Juan what did you do why do you have the assassin's card

WAIT EDGY DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS IT

save point!

Pearl with all of the talk of suicide and things like that please don't say stuff like that it’s really unsettling

HI GUMSHOE!!! Franz is gone :D You can be happy again!!!

ya work for me! Why not :D

Pearl: Even that woman prosecutor was better than that!

Pearl, let me introduce you to a man named Manfred Von Karma, also knows an Vampire the first.

Gumshoe: She almost looked like she was being tortured to death not being able to go to that trial today!

GOOD.

WHY THAT HOTTI CLINIC IT IT BECAUSE THEY ALREADY HAD DRAWINGS FOR IT

Q: I am a lot more upset than I thought I would be when I learnt she was shot so I guess i have a heart and should go visit her. Also i think she wouldn't be allowed to bring a whip to a hospital so

hey edgeworth are you here to say hi too

ha i still don't like this guy

Q: heeeey fraaanzzz imma make fun of you for being shot by my assassin friend

Franz: :whipps ''hottie'': HE DESERVED THAT THOUGH I AM WITH FRANZ ON THIS ONE

Q: What do you mean that kinda thing happens all of the time??? Do you regularly get shot???

I just realized she was shot in the right shoulder just like her dad haha

YES FRANZ WE KNOW YOU TOLD ADRIAN TO PLEAD THE FIFTH

Q: Franz thinks she has to one up me all of the time but really she can stop

Q: SHE'S SUICIDAL DAMMIT FRANZ YOU'RE TERRIBLE

I'm sorry i was mean to your honorary sister but she really is terrible

Q: Hey edgy do you think maybe shelly kidnapped Maya because uh

Q: SO THAT MEANS THE ASSASSIN KILLED JUAN I knew it but I still hate Matt

yaaay we can talk about maya to him

Phoenix: Stop trying to console me Edgeworth! I don't need your pity!

I feel really bad for Phoenix.. so much stress…

I KNEW IT

Q: MATT IS EVIL

WE CAN ASK HIM IF HE HIRED THE ASSASSIN

MATT HIRED THE ASSASSIN TO KILL JUAN BECAUSE JUAN WAS GOING TO REVEAL SOMETHING AND THEN ADRIAN MADE IT LOOK LIKE MATT DID IT AND NOW PEOPLE CAN FIGURE OUT THAT SHELLY DID IT

MATT YOU SUCK

Q: I really, really feel bad for Phoenix... all of this stress and then shock of edgeworth and then just being like "No i need to do my job" and he's mad at edgeworth because he needs to be mad at somebody because of the stress and

Q: hey! What does the assassin have to do with the brown haired girl!

most inaccurate thing in the game: A VSR. What even is that thing? Must be ancient.

hey Maya Matt's show sucks

it's a love Y story that is a blatant rip off of steel samurai that doesn't even include Will Powers in it. Also matt is evil.

dangit assassin go away

Q: To the detention center. Also i hate you Matt.

D: not a message!

he wants me to feed his cat ...the cat's probably innocent…

how do i get to his house though

ah down from the hotel, guess i have to go there

are you saying that i stole Edgy's heart and now you can't take it hahahahaha

i have a damn note let me look

Q: "Would you let this unsophisticated young person collect information?" HAHAHAHA

Q: hmmm i should go feed matt's cat but i wanna look around first

hiiii lottaaaa

Q: the game said that neither of them were there the whole time to maybe it isn't a continuity error?

Q: red-coat's my friend but phoenix is stressed out at the moment so not now

Q: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE OLDBAG

Q: WAIT A SECOND did i just notice a RING on oldbag's finger???

WHAT

Q: Phoenix rivals can be friends but actually one of my firsts ships are rivals who became love interests so you can shut up

Q: well I guess it's time to feed Matt's cat

WHAt IS THIS HOUSE

After we will Matt can I adopt Shoe?

IT'S THE ASSASSIN

Q: HAHAHA SO MATT DIDN'T EVEN ORDER THE ASSASSIN THE ASSASSIN WAS ALREADY HIS BUTLER MAYBE THIS IS THE WEAKNESS JUAN I MISS YOU

Q: wait if Matt has a butler why would he want us to feel him ...to have his assassin butler kill us...

Phoenix: What is it with me feeling inferior today

It's okay phoenix :( have a cookie

HEY

MAYA IS AROUND HERE

D:<

im saving dammit

Q: AH

IT DIDN'T EVEN SHOW THE DARE BUT THE BEAR IS TELLING AT ME

HI ASSASIN WHAT DO YOU WANT

Q: the transceiver isn't broken i bet i just know that the assassin did this on purpose

Q: YOU CAN DO IT GUMSHOE

Q: this is fun i wonder what else is setting it off

THE EARTH IS ROUND BECAUSE OF GRAVITY DAMMIT PHOENIX YOU'RE A MORON

Q: I found it in the bears head!

Q: you can do it gumshoe!

HI EDGEWORTH WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE I'm going to start calling him Miles

Q: The buyer is Matt/assasin because he's evil and so is Shelly

imma go a bit ill be back

Q: back and dangit i can't find the charger

Q: yaaay my bro found it

Q: savepoint!

Q: I was talking with my brother and we decided the anime probably would've worked a lot better if the episodes weren't one entire case but savepoint to savepoint base

...9 isn't that late...

Q: HEY WENDY (sense you don't like being called oldbag) I WANNA CHAT

Q: Pffft fine Miles, next time i bump into wendy i'll tell her your exact location so that she can bother you instead

Q: I KNEW THAT CEL AND JUAN WERE A THING DANGIT BARDIC FELINE GOOD JOB NOT CONFIRMING DETAILS

Q: oh ya the butler does have stitches on his face...

Q: yesssss thanks Miles now i get to go YELL AT MATT FOR BEING TERRIBLE

Matt: I thought you said I was okay for now! MPW: NOT ANYMORE

Q: oh dang... Adrian is here... I wanna talk to her a lot more than matt

the real matt? YOU MEAN THE EVIL ONE???

Q: wooo only one lock

Q: talked with her on everything... I feel sad BUT ALSO I STILL HATE MATT

Q: I decided to save and just listen to the song a while

Q: Thank you Pearl for making a salad for gumshoe he's having a hard time as well, getting fired and all that

WELL PHOENIX GO BUY SOME LETTUCE

Q: but i don't wanan talk to matt unless I can stab him! Hey look i found powers let's talk to him instead

Q: BUT JUAN IS GOOD PHOENIX DAMMIT

...guess... I'm going to talk to matt now... *sigh*

Q: don't look at me like that Matt i hate you

die matt

5 locks! New record :D

Q: I'm done talking to this moron let's go

gumshoe! What is it?!?!

AND EDGEWORTH SAID IT WAS A DEAD END, HAH

PEARLS SHHHH HE FIGURED IT OUT ON HIS OWN WITH NOTHING ELSE TO GO OFF OF THIS IS IMPRESSIVE

YA WELL I ALREADY KNEW MATT BOUGHT IT ANYWAYS

Phoenix....

Phoenix having a really tough time. Edgy’s “suicide” being cause by him but he has to not acknowledge it and get to his job, raising Pearl, getting Maya KIDNAPPED, worrying about Matt, Edgy coming back and Phoenix is under enough stress and has to be angry at something (I MADE A NOTE ABOUT HOW IT SEEMS LIKE EDGY KNOWS PHOENIX IS UNDER A LOT OF STRESS AND HE’S BEING NICER TO HIM BECAUSE OF THAT) and Von Karma (just her whip tho), and the assassin and… I really wanted to give him some cookies to make him feel better.

Me going through Zarla’s very old 2-4 doodles: It seems we have very different opinions on Edgeworth in this case

Q: Matt I know there are 5 locks but I hate you and want to find your secret and then tell the newspapers

Q: OF COURSE YOU WERE WATCHING THEM THERE IS A STUFFED BEAR TRANSMITTER AND CAMERA >:(

Q: YOU BOUGHT THE DAMN BEAR

I'm sorry matt hey why do i feel pity for him

BECAUSE HE'S YOUR BUTLER

Q: FUCK IM SCARED I REGRET THIS

OH FUCK YOU I KNEW THAT YOU'RE HAIR WAS SUSPITION

I HATE YOU

Q: I miss the old Matt

I MISS OLD MATT

I don't wanna get back to the game anymroe i just wanan doodle my regrets away

BF: Hahahaha awww

Just had to scroll back a bit to see your reactions to other stuff

BF: I think I went straight up to the reveal wanting to believe that Matt was somehow innocent, and I’d been spoilered for his evil face.

IIIMMMMMM SOOOOORRRRYYYYYYY

BF: And I coulda sworn I...or the game...told you about Juan and Celeste earlier

Q: dangit

BF: Heee

Q: not earlier i suspected earlier and only recently did it tell me

BF: I have an elaborate theory that Celeste was murdered and it was made to look like a suicide but

Q: I opened the game again. I feel like crying. I'd like to hear more about this

I want to have Pearl punch him but she'll get hurt :(

BF: Admittedly, it’s partly cause I’m so biased in Juan’s favor (and I still acknowledge he messed BADLY) but what we know about the timeline that lead up To Celeste’s death is WEIRD

if only

Q: I wanna hear more but i think i will get spoiled

BF: Aaah okay. I’ll tell you the logic later hah

Q: REALLY PHOENIX IS SCOUNDREL THE STRONGEST SWEAR WORD YOU CAN THINK OF

REALLY

I'D GIVE YOU A LONG LIST OF WORDS I'D CALL HIM BUT IM AFRAID THAT AT THE MOMENT I WON'T PRIVATE MESSAGE THEM

BF: Heee...you can have some of the best doofy conversations with Matt right before god reveal

Before THE reveal, even

Q: >:( I MISS OLD MATT

BF: And I love some of the penalty messages for presenting the wrong stuff during his psyche lock section

There’s this bit where if you ask him that one question again before dealing with the locks, and he goes hold on dude, I gotta call my lawyer

Q: ya well too bad I was too mad to think "hey maybe i should get this wrong"

BF: Hahaha fair enough

Q: Well the game is called Justice for All so that means I may just have to prove my defendant guilty because he sucks

HAHAHAHA

BF: I didn’t doof around as much on my first playthrough cause I spent the whole thing worrying about Maya

But yeah...he pulls his phone out

And the next thing you know, Phoenix’s phone ACTUALLY RINGS

And Matt tells you, over the phone, that he knows nothing so stop asking

HE CALLS YOU WHILE SITTING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU

AND NICK IS DOOFY ENOUGH TO ANSWER

And that mental image will never not be hilarious to me

Q: HAHAHA I REALLY WISH I DIDN'T MISS OUT ON THAT

BF: IT’S REALLY EASY TO MISS

BF: There’s a lot of optional dialogue in the bug sweeping part, too, which is easy to miss if you aren’t really thorough about scanning the room

Like one random thing I found in Juan’s room is a BREAD MAKER

Q: HAHAHA THE CAT PFFT WWELL TIME GO GO BACK TO THE HOUSE MILES COME WITH ME

Dangit one day i will replay this and I will find that dialogue

BF: Which had fresh bread still inside if it!

Lol Shoe gave them awaaaaay

Q: TO THE HOUSE

I remember finding that! Pearl was very excited

I remember somebody who named their cat concrete

BF: So yeah...things that are canon about Juan that make me love him: the entire premise of his show (I would so watch a show about a singing fail ninja, I mean)

Q: SO DO I DAMMIT

MUCH MROE THAN SOME LOVE Y STEEL SAMURAI RIP OFF

BF: He apparently claimed in his OFFICIAL BIOGRAPHY that he fought a bear. And won. And made friends with it.

BF: His whole weird thing with tomato juice and the fact that, if Adrian’s account is anything to go by, the fact that he sleeps SO HEAVILY that he can be taken for dead

Q: MILES HELP ME BREAK DOWN THE DOOR

I remember that!!! it was cute!!!

EDGY THE DOOR OPENED LET'S FIND THIS GUY

I wanna implement that into the ladyverse Juan haha

BF: His stupid mouth reed haha

Lol Zarla and I had a FIELD DAY with Juan and his heavy sleeping in the Frozen AU

BF: I love how weird and intense his rivalry apparently was with Matt, and I think it’s morbidly funny just how badly planned and half assed his actual revenge plot against Matt was when you know exactly what he was trying to do (it’s also pretty sad, but)

Like seriously nothing he tried to do holds up as a good plan if you think about the logistics of it like...at ALL

Q: dangit Maya don't die!

I feel bad for Juan...

BF: I DO TOO He was so young :<

Q: ADRIAN IM ON YOUR SIDE PLEASE TELL ME --- HE JUST WANTED TO GET REVENGE ON MATT!!! so young he died just because he was so desperate to get Matt back and didn't think him plan through...

BF: THAT’S THE WAY I SEE IT

BF: Even the most morally questionable thing he did (you’ll see) I see as being the act of someone who didn’t think his own words would be taken seriously

BF: Because who would believe anything bad said about a beloved actor when it comes from his bitter and angry rival

I think Juan got desperate:<

Q: that thing makes sense now... dangit I thought that picture was funny... --- :(

Q: ...time to save....

Q: Juan didn't deserve to die!

hey this is the the same dream from the begining of the game did i accidently reset i am scared

oh good i didn't accidently reset

phoenix do what Edgy has done before: Fail for justice.

Matt I hate you

go away im sad

Mia is Maya already dead

GUMSHOE HE'S UNDER A LOT OF STRESS RIGHT NOW NOT JUST WHAT HE HAD BEFORE BUT NOW BECAUSE OF MATT PLEASE FORGIVE HIM

Q: How much what this tip

Q: the face had a scar on it. Alright, but how much did Matt 'tip'?

Q :A BIG FAT ROLL. Hopefully the judge can understand this

Q: what the heck does "try to pull a fast one" mean

Q :...this statement still feels wrong..

Phoenix: ARE YOU SAYING THAT BASEBALLS ARE SUSPICIOUS BECAUSE THEY HAVE STITCHES???

How will I ever be able to trust a baseball ever again

Q: I apparently can't trust any sorts of sports balls now because of Phoenix huh

Q: fine. Did the hand on the end of that arm have brown figerless gloves?

find then. Whatever. what was the something?

Q: wooden statue... hm...

the bear.

BF: hahaha so much of Phoenix's arguments here are him pretty transparently stalling for time

Q: IT'S SAD but he needs to learn how to do what edgy does How could anybody hate edgy

dangit uhhh what now well i can save at this point

Well I'm kinda curious about the bear so

Q: uh how about the guy to got the bear? That could be helpful

Please tell me who took the bear!

nice he must've not wanted to get caught

Q: please hand down the verdict

...Phoenix needs to know where Maya is first...

Mia we need to hear it i'm sorry

Mia don't worry maya is fiiiiINNNNNNEEEE haha

Q: ugh i bet phoenix is thinking of Adrian

Q: dammit we've already hurt her enough!

Q: Edgeworth's opinion is "Phoenix really i thought you grew" and my opinion is "PHOENIX IM SORRY ABOUT MAYA BUT IM WITH MILES ON THIS ONE"

Mia you told me to do this don't look at me like that

Q: oh fuck off matt

Gumshoe: Have you been hangin' in there pal??

me: NO HE CERTAINLY HASN'T

Q: ??: a tent!

that is the most random thing wtf

MIA how is maya

BF: hahaah SUDDENLY A CALLBACK TO THE PREVIOUS CASE

Q: ALRIGHT SO MAYA'S BEING STARVED WONDERFUL PHOENIX LET'S MAKE MATT FUCKING PAY FOR BEING A *****

Q: LET'S GET A SLEDGEHAMMER AND BREAK THE BEAR OPEN DAMMIT

Q: Judge is doing the puzzle!

Q: Ya well WHAT IS INSIDE OF THE BEAR

Q: THE SUICIDE NOTE

WHAT THE FUCK ADRIAN

Q: frick i hope they find maya soon

BF: the were you responding to the fact that Adrian was planning on burning the note, cause if you are, I always found that to be really messed up

BF: like wtf yes I know you didn't want Juan to use Celeste as a way of getting back at Matt cause you didn't want either of them using her anymore but BURNING YOUR BELOVED MENTOR'S FINAL WORDS

Q: Well I already knew that I was also confused that IT EXISTED AND SHE KNEW WHERE IT WAS and it was brought to my attention yet again she wanted to burn it... AND AS YOU SAID, THAT IS REALLY MESSED UP

BF: Also, Adrian, you tried to use Juan's death as a way to try and get back at MATT.

Q: EXACTLY

BF: WHAT JUAN DID WAS BAD, BUT ALMOST NO ONE SEEMS TO DRAW THE COMPARISON BETWEEN THAT AND ADRIAN STABBING JUAN'S CORPSE

I mean christ if Adrian can be forgiven for that

Q: I AM STILL MAD AT HER FOR THAT!!!

BF: (I like to think that Adrian and Juan were way the heck more alike than she wanted to admit. and I say that while also totally understanding why she feels the way she does.)

Q: waaaaaaaa this case makes me feel sad

Q: ...BUT ON THE BACK OF THE PICTURE FRAME CEL WROTE SOMETHING RIGHT???

Q: "With love, Celeste" is all Celeste wrote on the picture hahah

Q: YA AND IT'S HANDWRITING

YESSSSSSSS A PHONECALL!!!!

BF: (I still have no clue why she dated Matt. like, Lady, why did you date your client? WHY DID YOU DO IT AGAIN WITH JUAN.)

Q: (AND NEVER ONCE DID SHE SEE THE BIG FUCKIN ASS SCAR I MEAN HAIR MOVES IN WIND RIGHT WHAT THE HELL)

HAHAHA I LOVE HOW THEY'RE PLAYING CATCH WITH THE PHONE

BF: hahahahaa HOW DID MATT HIDE THOSE

Q: SERIOUSLY I WAS VERY ANGRY ABOUT THAT EVEN BEFORE I KNEW HIS SCAR WAS THERE

BF: lolol Zar did a comic about that where Phoenix throws the phone and beans Edgeworth in the head with it.

Q: SEND IT NOW

EDGY THANK YOU

Q: hahha I'm used to that kind of silly anime flop bang, I didn't think about it.

Q: dangit was it colored???

BF: it softens his face, so it makes sense from a design standpoint.

Q: I THOUGHT ABOUT IT BECAUSE I DON'T WATCH TOO MUCH ANIME

Q: SEND THEM NOW GUMSHOE

FUCK HE GOT IN A CARCRASH SHIT

NOT GUMSHOE!!!

BF: GUMSHOE WILL LIVE

https://zarla.deviantart.com/art/Bad-reception-PW2Spoilers-59768674 and here

Q: MATT IS NOT INNOCENT AND NEVER WILL BE

Q: SAVE ADRIAN

I feel so happy thank you mia

Q: EXACTLY PHOENIX DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW

Edgy is a friend!!!

BF: hahah

Q: I am still upset how the heck could anybody dislike him

(Edit: I felt guilty for liking him because of hearing Zalra’s not a big fan. I kinda felt guity over liking him because i thought in doing so i was being annoying or something??? it’s dumb but sadly enough i still have problems with it.)

I apparently just really like this character!

BF: hahahaha Edgeworth?

Q: YA!

BF: HE HAS NO SHORTAGE OF FANS IN THIS FANDOM

Q: true

BF: it's the people who DON'T care for him so much who are in the minority

https://zarla.deviantart.com/art/Bad-reception-PW2Spoilers-59768674 and here

Q: WAIT WE DO HAVE A WAY

DOES FRANZ STILL HAVE THE TRACKING DEVICE???

Q: I KNEW THE NOTE WAS FAKE

DANGIT BUT STILL MATT IS TERRIBLE AND SO IS ADRIAN FOR WANTING TO BURN IT

Q: HEY ASSASIN COME TO COURT WITH US

after this is over im going through Zarla's Ace Attorney folder

BF: haha yeah the old forged note thing. that's actually one of my reasons for arguing murder not suicide...cause i took that as 'he couldn't find a note at ALL"

Q: ah alright!

BF: (Also, I love the implication that he's got good handwriting...don't know why i zero in on THAT detail.)

but yeah...the forged note is the REAL thing I parallel to Adrian stabbing Juan's corpse.

cause it feels like the same basic intent

Q: (I took note of that too haha) UGH HOW DARE SHE

BF: (also I'm convinced, again, that Juan didn't think anyone would take anything he had to say about Matt seriously...but they'd listen to CELESTE.)

I STILL FEEL AWFUL FOR ADRIAN AND DON'T BLAME HER FOR PULLING A DESPERATION MOVE even though it made everyone's lives harder and just got her implicated for a crime she didn't commit

Q: ...I still like Juan from this case... he made mistakes and he didn't think about it all of the way through but I really think what he was doing what something that needed to be done considering...

Q: ADRIAN

I DON'T THINK IT'S HER STILL

DAMMIT WHAT THE LIVING HELL ASSASSIN HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PROVE MATT GUILTY NOW

Q: MILES IM SORRY WHAT IS WITH ADRIAN

OH YA I KNOW YOU STILL WANT MATT FOUND INNOCENT

SO DAMN YOU IT'S NOT ADRIAN

Q: but i don't wanna go to the fandoooommmmm (eh)

IF SHE KNEW HE WAS DEAD THEN WHY DID SHE GET THE WINGLASS SCREW YOU SHELLY

Judge: That was an awfully weak objection for the two of you ah so you know us by now I should've expected this

BF: hahaha the Judge even more used to Phoenix's shenanigans by game 5

Q: assassin your lies are easily seen through hahaha well considering how long of a time that is of course he is

Q: YOU SAID HIM WHAT THE HECK

HAHAHA

ASSASSIN YOU ARE SOMEHOW REALLY BAD AT LYING

BF: hee hee

Q :more obvious lies are coming

BF: WELL SHE DOES HAVE THE MASCULINE VERSION OF HER NAME FOR SOME REASON (the feminine version is spelled Adrienne)

Q: I don't think he saw it spelled to be honest, so either way even if it was spelled the feminine way then he wouldn't have known

BF: hahah TRUE

either way PROOF HE NEVER SAW HER

Q: ALRIGHT THEN WELL THE FIGURINE WAS INSIDE OF MATT'S HOUSE SO

AND IF HE GAVE HER THE FIGURINE SHE WOULD'VE BURNT THE NOTE

BUT GUESS WHAT

IT ISN'T BURNT

BF: (that probably works a bit better in the original Japanese. She has a kind of masculine sounding name there, and it's way way more likely to talk about someone without using pronouns at ALL in Japanese, so more likely he never heard her called a her.)

hahh YEP YOU GOT IT

Q: FUCK. OFF. MATT. NOW.

SO YOU KNOW I HATE YOU AND IF YOU PROVE YOUSELF GUILTY MAYA WILL DIE AND YOU WILL GET YOUR REVENGE ON ME FUCK OFF

I CHOSE TO MAKE MATT FUCK OFF THAT'S WHAT

BF: hahahahahaha

Q: FRANZ WHAT ARE YOU DOING HE'S GUILTY WHAT IS GOING ON

FRANZ DID YOU BRING GUMSHOE

OH MY GOD THANK YOU

YOU ARE HELPFUL

EVEN IF HE'S NTO HERE

YOU ARE NOTHING LIKE YOUR DAD FRANZ!!! :D

BF: Franzy is so much better hahah

Q: :DDD

BF: Though she never does get any good at admitting when she's wrong

Q: ya well at least she doesn't try to kill people over it

i really should sleep but this case is almost over!!

BF: YOU ARE VERY CLOSE TO THE END, IT'S TRUE

Q: BUT I'VE BEEN SAYING THAT FOR 3 HOURS

MATT WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL HERE I TOLD YOU TO FUCK OFF RIGHT

BF: now whether or not you want to intentionally get the bad end or not just to see it is up to you...though I can't remember if the preserved the infamous typo that makes the bad end so memorable for the HD version

if THEY preserved, even

BF: (basically the bad end is super sad and dramatic...but they have a VERY noticeable typo on the dramatic final line that makes it unintentionally funny.)

Q: (pffft)

(I DON'T WANT A BAD END)

Q: I WANNA SHOW THE DAMN VIDEO TAPE TO MR KILLER DAMMIT "why" ILL EXPLAIN WHEN I DON'T FEEL SO RUSHED

BF: (hahah I MEAN FAIR ENOUGH. it's shorter than the good end. BUT THE GOOD END IS SO VERY SATISFYING.

heee jee

Q: (I WANNA SEE THE GOOD END DAMMIT)

BF: yesss SHOW DE KILLER THE PROOF OF MATT'S BACKSTABBING

Q: BACKSTAB BACKSTAB BACKSTAB MATT YOU SUCK FUCK OFF AND DIE

BLACKMAIL OF COURSE DAMMIT

Q: YEESSSSS

KILL MATT KILL MATT KILL MATT

MAYA IS SAFE!!!

Q: FUCK YOU MATT YOU BLACKMAILED THE ASSASIN AND YOU MADE TWO PEOPLE COMMIT SCIDIDE AND KILLED JUAN AND FRAMED ADRIEN AND MADE PHOENIX' LIKE TERRIBLE AND MADE ME GIVE YOU A ROPE FOR A LITTLE BIT (THAT SHIT IS EXPENSIVE) AND

NO I WILL NOT HELP YOU

YOU DUG YOUSELF INTO THIS HOLE AND YOU WILL NEVER GET OUT

YOU WILL BE BURRIED

ALIVE

AND WE WILL ALL CHEER

BF: and now you are about to see that Matt canonically has RAZOR BLADES for fingernails.

Q: HE IS GUILTY I HAVE LEARNT EDGEWORTH IS FRIEND oh boy give me a second

WOW

HOLY SHIT MATT YOUR FINGERNAILS OW

UM MATT STOP IT PLEASE YOU'RE MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE

BF: WHAT DID I JUST SAY

Q: RAZOR BLADES

ABSALUTE KNIVES FOR FINGERNAILS

BF: and yet there is still endless speculation about whether or not his scars are from a self inflicted wound or not. WHICH WE REALLY CAN'T BE SURE OF HONESTLY

Q: What do you think on it?

aww adrian!!!

(It’s like 1 in the morning now)

Q: Awww!!!

BF: I've heard tons of convincing theories for one thing or another, and I've never settled on a single one.

Q: Alright!

BF: Self inflicted is the OBVIOUS answer...but I've also seen compelling arguments that it was like...Shoe the cat. Or Celeste.

Q: Miles!!! Hello :D

Shoe the cat haha

Celeste makes sense…

BF: I have one very specific scenario where it was JUAN, but that's for one of the AUs

Q: :D yay!!! Maya is good!!!

Hi Franz!!! Well AUs

I lost and i am HAPPY because I got Matt to FUCK THE HELL OFF

BF: (and in that scenario, it was very much self defense...but cutting up his face was unintentional.)

hahahah YOU GOT THE RIGHT VERDICT THAT'S THE IMPORTANT PART

Q: INTERESTING

Finally Phoenix understands Edgy's side of the story

Edgy is best

BF: hahah I'M AFRAID I CAN'T TELL YOU MORE THAN THAT cause it's major spoilers for an ongoing fic

Q: Fine!

Q: hahaha ONE DAY FRANZ, ONE DAY.

Franz: You are no longer worthy of being a Von Karma!

Franz: :with a smile: And neither am I!

...the whip?

I FEEL SO HAPPY FOR HER

Q: MAYA THE BEST THING JUST HAPPENED YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT

BF: hahah SHE REALLY WAS JUST TRYING TO CATCH UP WITH EDGEY, HONESTLY

Q: EVERYONE HERE NEEDS A HUG

HAPPY FAMILY PHOTO :D

Edgy you can be part of the family too

Maya: A feast!

me: AND EDGY WILL PAY FOR IT!

Hi gumshoe!!! You're also in the family :D

AND LOTTA!

AND POWERS

BF: lol what make the most financially well off person pay for anything? In THIS GAME? don't be silly

BF: EVERYONE IS HERE YAY

Q: EVERYONE IS IN THE FAMILY

EDGY PAY MY RENT

Q: IN THE COAT POCKET

FRANZ IS NEAR?

FRANZ IS PART OF THE FAMILY TOO

WHEREVER SHE IS

Q: Pearl after watching that you still ship me and maya seriously I thought you knew what 'gay' meant

best crackship

Q: RIP PHOENIX'S WALLET, THE EPIC TV SHOW SERIES IT NEEDED TOO MANY SEQUELS TO BECOME A MOVIE SO WE JUST MADE IT A TV SHOW

Q: ALRIGHT IM SLEEPING I’LL LOOK AT THE CREDITS LATER GOODBYE

:After sleeping:

Q: Alright I'm back and looking at the credits

Q: Maya that's not a good thing

Pearl not only did you kill phoenix' wallet again you still fail to see the one true ship here Good job Gumshoe!!! I hope you get a livable amount of money now! Sure I can see Bryde as a waitress... but wait if she's so unlucky then... crap

Q: I wonder where the real hotti is

You can do it Max!!!

BF: She’s definitely coming back in the next game, haha. So is Adrian, but Adri has a far far better time of it that time around.

Q: Well she's fun enough so i don't find yaaaay Adrian :D

BF: Maggey is doomed to have awful luck and end up in trouble though

Q: dangit. MAGGEY IM SORRY FOR YOU

Wendy!!! We got the assassin to kill Matt and got Matt a guilty verdict for killing Juan!!! Are you proud of me!

eh who cares

awww thanks Adrian!

haha Adrian x Franz why not

Q: goodbye de killer, have you killed matt yet?

hey look the date is showing!

hi Franz!!!

Q: back. had a thing

but franz it does matter! everything matters!

Edgeworth: Are you running away? Franz: Shut up! FRANZ DON'T BE SAD

Q: Franz: You can't possibly understand what is means to be Manfred Von Karma's daughter! ARE YOU ACCEPTING THAT HE IS THE ASSHOLE I KEEP TELLING YOU EH IS

You are a good person, unlike your father

Q: this is sad I love her character though and it is cool seeing ehr develop

MORE ADRIAN X FRANZ OF COURSE

Q: AWWW SHE'S CRYING D:

BF: I know aaaah. Poor Franziska

Q: BUT SHE IS IN FAMILY!

Sad music!!! Poor Franz D: Don't leave!!! I love you though!!! You are good!!! You're father was terrible! You don't need to be perfect! No one is!!! You're good the way you are!!!

Goodbye Franz! I hope we meet again :(

???

Maya's drawing!

...to the third game!

D: I am scared

(Edit: This drawing was made around 2 months later but it was a drawing of me yelling at everybody that they are in the family so i might as well put it here

)

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dipifica · 8 years ago

Text

need help/new story!

hey everyone!!! i know ive been m.i.a. when it comes to the fanfic scene but i have the first chapter of a new story and its......a 10 things i hate about you au! i love this movie a ton and really love the idea so i thought i would try it out! under the read more below is the first draft of chapter 1! i dont usually do this but i would totally appreciate any comments or suggestions on this first chapter (also if you want more/would read until the end, etc.) since im busy and have been having personal problems i feel it would help me be motivated if people were interested! this is a rough draft so things can change but for sure couples are dippica (dipper/pacifica) and wenbel (wendy/mabel) ages are moved around as well but only so i can have the whole gang in high school at once. anyways yeah! please tell me what you think!

Wendy Corduroy adjusted her baseball cap for the final time before deciding that, eh, that will do. She had never been one for nervousness, frankly she considered herself to be one of the chillest people she knew (except around family, but who was stress-free around their family ever?), but today was a brand new day full of brand new people in a brand new place.

Wendy and her family has moved to Gravity Falls only a month ago because the work was good for her lumberjack father. With the world moving faster and faster everyday, Wendy’s father couldn’t seem to keep up and decided a quieter, more rustic town would do well for the entire family. Luckily, the Corduroy children weren’t incredibly disappointed. Wendy was a starting her senior year somewhere new, but she tried to look on the bright side. If she loved it here, she will be happy, and if she hated it, hey, she’s in college next year anyway.

She got an E-Mail the night before instructing her about the school’s transfer policy, each transfer student would be assigned another student to lead them around the school, answer questions, and be a “friend” although Wendy knew well that the school couldn’t make her be friends with anyone. Still, she thought it was somewhat unnecessary, the school wasn’t huge and she was a senior, the last thing she needed was to look lame asking someone younger than her about her school.

“Name, please?” A man asked her as she approached the main office.

“Wendy Corduroy.” She stated, the school was a lot smaller than her last with far less students. Maybe her adventure would turn out to be a dud after all.

“Gideon Gleeful?” The man called to a group of student leaders. Wendy turned to see no one answer, than out from the corner a boy with white hair, dressed business-casual stood up.

“Yes, sir!” He replied.

“Your transfer. Wendy Corduroy, this is Gideon. Gideon, Wendy.”

“Nice to meet you.” Wendy shook the boy’s hand thinking how he even looked too young to be in high school.

“To you as well.” Gideon replied.

“If you have any questions, Gideon will answer them for you. Now, go ahead and start the tour. Next in line?”

“Right this way, Ms. Corduroy.” Gideon exclaimed.

“Wendy is fine, thanks. You are…..chipper.” Wendy chuckled. “If you don’t mind me asking…how old are you?”

“I’m 15 years old!” Gideon seemed to get somewhat angry. “I’m a sophomore this year at GFHS and I am so sick of people asking my age…” He muttered.

“I’m sorry, dude.” Wendy apologized. “You know, it’s good to look youthful.”

Gideon sighed. “Not when you are trying to get a girlfriend. Well, let’s start the tour anyway, you are gonna need a lot of help from me!” Gideon perked up and started his journey down the south east hall, Wendy trailing behind him.

—

“And that wraps up the English department. Next we have-“

“Gideon, can we just end the tour here? I think I’ll figure it out.” Wendy slumped over and sat down in front of a locker. Her feet killed as Gideon insisted on taking the stairs everywhere.

“We have so much more to see, Wendy!” Gideon exclaimed. “We still have the art wing, the back alley, the make out tree!”

“I really think I’ll catch on.” Wendy sighed and hung her head.

“‘Cuse me?” A perky, girl’s voice called from above. Wendy pulled her head back to see a beautiful young girl. “So sorry to bug you but you are blocking my locker.”

“I-uh…yeah. No, I’m sorry.” Wendy picked herself off and moved out of the pretty girl’s way.

“Hey, don’t be!” She smiled. “Are you new? I’ve never seen you around before.”

“Yeah, I am. Wendy Corduroy.” Wendy stuck her hand out.

“Mabel Pines!” Mabel trapped her hand and shook. Her hands were soft in Wendy’s and Wendy suddenly felt light as a feather. “You’ll love it here. Always something going on.” Mabel grabbed the book she needed from her locker and shut it. “I gotta go, but it was great meeting you, Wendy Corduroy!”

“You too, Mabel Pines.” Wendy replied, her heart dancing inside her. She usually wasn’t one for love at first sight but…wow. Mabel smiled once more and turned to join two other girls waiting on the corner for her.

“Don’t push your luck with her.” Gideon snapped Wendy out of her love-filled day dream. “Mabel Pines doesn’t date. Not allowed in fact.”

“Oh really, why is that?” Wendy asked, eyes still on the beautiful junior before her.

“Protective parents. You know, I even heard she’s not allowed to date until her brother does.”

“Brother?” Wendy questioned.

“Twin brother, Dipper Pines. Basically the biggest dork this school has ever seen.” Gideon chuckled.

“That’s not you?”

“Watch it newbie.” Gideon glared. “No one will go out with him.”

“Hey, can you do me a favor?” Wendy batted her eyelashes.

“Ugh, Dipper is straight and so am I.” Gideon groaned. “And we aren’t that close yet, sister. Maybe you could…”

“Hi,very gay.” Wendy responded. “Plus, I’d feel bad…”

“But you were ready to throw me into the ring, huh?”

“Look, there’s gotta be some way to get her brother a date and get her to…is she gay?” Wendy asked, deciding in the moment it would be best to get that settled before she devised any schemes.

“Heard through the grapevine she’s had summer camp flings with girls and guys. So bi?” Gideon shrugged.

—-

“Ladies!” Gideon called over to two girls who did not look pleased to see him. Wendy trailed behind, listening in on the conversation.

“What do you want Gideon?” The larger girl sighed.

“Just a quick question, Mabel, straight or…?”

“She’s not into you.” The smaller girl rolled her eyes. “She can’t date, you know this better than anyone.”

“Right, right, right, that was last year. I actually am on the market for someone new.” He winked to them, which they groaned and turned their backs to him in response. “So she is or?”

“Bi, weirdo!” One yelled back.

“Wait like, she’s bi, or like goodbye to me?” Gideon yelled back.

“Like she’s bi, idiot!”

“Okay, thanks!” Gideon scurried back over to Wendy who was now crouched behind a trash can.

“You had a thing for her? Should I be worried?”

“Last year, Wendy. Last year.” He waved his hand in the air. “Although Mabel did at one time own my heart, she made it clear even if she was to date…it wouldn’t be me.”

Wendy placed a hand on his shoulder. “I have your blessing?”

“Yeah, but you have to help me find a lady of my own now.”

Wendy laughed. “Okay. In the meantime, tell me more about Dipper Pines.”

—-

Wendy and Gideon sat at the table across from Dipper’s, watching him read a book that was in a language Wendy could not understand. “Damn, you really weren’t kidding. No friends?”

“Dipper can come off as a know-it-all jerkface.” Gideon whispered. “Half of the student body thinks he’s an weirdo nerd, the other half is afraid of him.”

“Afraid of him?”

“He’s got an interest in the paranormal. Really freaky shit.”

“I mean, that’s not that weird…”

“He’s had a few incidents at school…” Wendy raised an eyebrow. “Look, by now you know Gravity Falls isn’t exactly a normal town, we are home to some weird, unexplainable stuff. Dipper…exploits it. Brings it to school. We’ve basically had a lot of lockdowns because of him. Even his perfect grades couldn’t keep him out of multiple suspensions, and causing mass panic every few months doesn’t make him that popular.”

“Damn.” Wendy breathed. “So finding someone to date this guy is going to be…”

“Impossible? Yes.”

“No one comes to mind? Come on Gid, there’s gotta be someone willing and desperate!” Wendy whisper-screamed. “Maybe someone we can even blackmail?”

Gideon perked up and suddenly smiled widely. “Oh, I have just the person. This tour is about to get way more fun than what I expected.”

—

“Her?” Wendy asked. “She’s gorgeous.”

“And my only lead.” Gideon muttered. “Play it cool.”

“I always do!” Wendy scoffed as she followed Gideon towards the beautiful blonde standing at her locker.

“Pacifica Northwest, how are you?” Gideon greeted. The girl visibly sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Gleeful, a new school year is not going to make me forget how big of a weirdo you are. Move along.” She spat.

Gideon let out a chuckle and Wendy caught on he was most certainly enjoying this. “Actually, darling,” He grinned. “I think you should be a bit nicer to me from now on.”

“Psh. Why would I ever show you any sort of kindness? Get lost.” She slammed her locker and started to move away.

“Welcome to Posh Burger, can I interest you in some fries today?” Gideon stated simply, still grinning, causing Pacifica to stop dead in her tracks.

“No. Way.” She muttered, turning back. “Listen, you-“

“No, you listen.” Gideon interrupted, pulling out his phone revealing multiple pictures of Pacifica working at a burger joint. “I’ve got proof here that Miss Gravity Falls herself, works at Posh Burger two towns over. What happened Paz? Daddy ran out of money?”

“That is none of your business! And this right now, is just about the creepiest thing you have ever done!” Pacifica rose her voice. “Delete them.”

“The students of GFHS have a right to know what their homecoming queen does on the weekends. It would take one simple click…”

“What do you want? Is that what this is, some sort of blackmail?”

“Gideon, maybe we shouldn’t-“ Wendy started, not wanting to ruin some junior’s life on her first day.

“Wendy, you are new around here, but trust me, 85% of the school population would expose this brat the second they could. I’m a saint.” Gideon turned his attention back to the blonde. “It is a blackmail thing. We want you to take Dipper Pines out on a date.”

“He’s even worse than you.” Pacifica sighed. “Why would you ever care about Dipper Pines’ dating experience?”

“Wendy’s got a thing for Mabel Pines. Mabel doesn’t date until Dipper does. It’s simple really. You date Dipper, Wendy woos Mabel, and these pictures stay safe with me. In return, Wendy’s basically my slave and you have to date Dipper in the first place. Satisfying enough for me.”

Wendy shrugged and for the first time wondered what she was getting herself into.

“You’re cruel. This is going to ruin me.” Pacifica sighed.

“I think these pictures will more so.”

“Maybe I’ll take my chances.” Pacifica glared.

“No, wait! I’ll-uh-I’ll pay you for every date.” Wendy offered.

“Corduroy, what’s the deal?” Gideon whispered.

“I’m starting a new job over the weekend. I’ll pay you for every date you take him on. And-And we won’t leak the pictures. Deal?” Wendy stuck her hand out for a handshake.

Pacifica eyed her hand, then eyed Gideon who’s finger hovered over a send button. “…Deal.” She shook her hand. “Gideon, you just made it to the top of my shit list.”

“I’m humbled.” Gideon put on hand on his heart. “As an added bonus, I’ll be your information guide. Dipper usually hangs around Lab 324 after school, I think. Best to start the courting early.”

Pacifica cringed. “Whatever.” Pacifica finally got to storm away without interruption and as soon as she knew she was alone, she let out a frustrated scream.

——-

Pacifica paced outside Lab 324, she peeked her head through the small window and saw Dipper Pines sitting with headphones in and writing quickly in his notebook. She didn’t know why she felt so nervous. She tried to convince herself it was the fact this guy had almost destroyed the school and town multiple times, but she knew what it truly was, and feared fulfilling Wendy and Gideon’s task would be far harder than seducing just any nerd. This wasn’t just some nerd, it was Dipper Pines. The Dipper Pines that helped her a few years ago and showed her how horrible her parents could be. She now had to face, trick, and lead on the one who believed she could be better. She was going to prove his belief in her wrong all over again.

She thought back to the photos and sighed. It’s just this one guy. She thought. It’s not like he is a saint either. She recalled all the mean things he said about her that same day of the party.

The memory drove her to finally open the door, alerting Dipper to turn and pull his earphones out. “Pacifica.” He stated, he didn’t seem confused as to why she was there.

“Hey, Dipper.” She said, awkwardly strutting in and leaning on the table next to him. “How have you been?”

“Oh, so now you’ll talk to me?” He spat right away. Pacifica hoped he would be polite and act as if they had no past, but no one was around them to fake for.

“Don’t be like that, I was just a kid-“

“Just a kid two years ago when you refused to acknowledge my existence in front of your popular friends.”

“A lot can change in two years.”

“Yeah, but not that much.”

“Dipper, come on, I know I’ve been a real jerk to you in the past, but I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime. You know, like old times?”

Dipper stared into Pacifica’s eyes. “…What do you want?”

“To hang out with you.”

“No, what do you want? You choose now to suddenly rekindle our…semi-friendship almost four years after the fact? Is there another ghost in the manor?”

“No, I want to hang out, Dipper. I’m sorry if you felt like I ditched you.”

“I didn’t feel any way, you did ditch me.”

Pacifica remained silent, backed into a corner by Dipper’s words. She couldn’t argue it wasn’t true, the two had connected, even if it was a short time. By the time freshmen year pulled around, Pacifica learned fast how to survive in a bigger school: cut off the people that didn’t fit in.

“You know I’m right. You are so easy to read.” Dipper scoffed, packed up his things, and left the room.

Pacifica was left standing on her own, feeling guilty and frustrated.

#writing #dipifica #dippica #dipcifica #wenbel #rough draft

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