#georgia x camilla

[daydreamtofiction]

Thou Shalt Not Covet // 20: Resurrection

Contents | Part 19 | First Person Version [AO3]

Summary: (Priest!Ben x Female Reader) THE FINAL CHAPTER IS UPON US. I love you all I love you all I love you all I love you all I love you all I love you all I love you all I love you all I love you all. I'm going to sleep now.

Word Count: 7.1K

Warnings: Strong language, irreverence, dark humour, adult & sexual themes. Readers must be 18+

You stirred gently from sleep, eyes closed as you drifted between the realms of reality and slumber. Echoes of the countryside seeped in through the open window like a soundscape, tranquil and idyllic; birdsong, wildlife, nature, rain-

Rain? 

Your eyes shot open, the remnants of your sleepy haze immediately falling away as you scrambled out of bed and hurried to the window. You pulled back the thick curtains, looking out over the vast landscape of the stately home, the plush, well kept grass and winding gravel paths, the fields in the distance that stretched along the skyline, as though nothing existed beyond it. 

The blue summer sky was blanketed in clouds, showering the earth in a rain so fine you could only see it in the ripple on the surface of a nearby pond. You gave a dejected sigh, walking around the bed to grab your phone off the nightstand. 

"Shit," you hissed as you noticed the time, the alarm you must have sent to snooze in your sleep.

You rushed out of your room in your t-shirt and pyjama shorts, making your way across the large landing towards the sound of voices and laughter, the smell of food and perfume. You tapped your knuckles on a door decorated with flowers and pushed it open, stepping into the room with an awkward grimace, an apology ready on your tongue. 

The spacious suite was buzzing with excitement, women with their hair in rollers, champagne flutes in their hands. They were all wearing matching silk robes; pale blue, 'bridesmaid' embroidered in white thread across the breast. You spotted Camilla from across the room, the only one in white, sitting with her back to you as a stylist blowdried her hair.

It felt like a bad teen movie; the moment the awkward new girl stepped into the high school cafeteria, looking over at the popular girls' table as she stood alone with her tray. They'd all known each other forever; the maid-of-honour her twin sister, the other four old friends. They were probably wondering why she'd asked you to be a bridesmaid at all, why you got to be part of the day they'd been waiting for since they were kids. 

"Oh, here she is!" One of the women shouted, jumping up from a couch in the middle of the room and rushing over to you. 

Camilla turned her head, smiling when she laid eyes on you and giving an excited wave. "You okay!?" she shouted over the sound of the hairdryer. 

You nodded, mouthing 'sorry' at her from across the room and pointing at your phone. 'Alarm didn't...'

She waved her hand at you, as if telling you not to worry. 

The woman approaching you was called Lottie, her freckled face gleaming with a grin as she handed you a robe. You took it and shrugged it on, looking down at the same 'bridesmaid' label embroidered into the pale blue silk. 

"Come and get some breakfast," she said, pointing to the coffee table between two couches, an elaborate spread laid across it. 

You picked at the food, putting a few pieces of fruit and croissant on a small plate and sitting down with the other women. 

"I'm so sorry I slept in," you said. 

"Oh don't worry about it," said Camilla's sister Alice. "You haven't missed anything. And Georgia's still asleep so you're not actually the latest." 

You laughed, biting into your croissant and relaxing back slightly into the couch. "I can't believe it's raining," you said, gesturing to the window on the other side of the room. "Especially with how warm June's been this year. I hope it stops before the ceremony." 

"Femi was just saying rain on your wedding day is supposed to be good luck," said Lottie.

The woman beside you nodded, her thick, dark hair sitting in a cluster of rollers on top of her head. "It is. They say it's supposed to wash away all the bad memories." 

"Hm." You nodded. "Well I hope it pours down then." 

They all laughed, and you allowed a smile, almost feeling bad for expecting coldness from them. They'd never been anything but kind; every dress fitting and group chat conversation filled with positivity and excitement, even the hen night had been surprisingly fun. Yet still, there was something inside you that made you doubt yourself, like you didn't belong amongst them.

Music played and the morning flowed as freely as the champagne. People rotated between the makeup artist and hair stylist, picking at the food and taking breaks in-between to dance and pose for pictures. You sat in the makeup chair as the woman swirled a brush over your eyelid, pinning your brow up with her thumb after you failed to stop blinking. 

You felt a tap on your shoulder, glancing up to see Camilla at your side.

"I know you don't like champagne so I got them to bring you a mojito," she said, handing you a tall glass, a sprig of mint floating over the ice. 

"Oh, wow, thank you. You didn't have to-" The makeup artist turned your face back towards her.  

Camilla laughed, patting you on the arm before walking away. 

You took a sip as the artist turned to dip her brush in another eyeshadow, quickly putting it down when she returned to you. You peered at yourself in the mirror through one eye, liking what you saw; glowing skin and romantically blushed cheeks, fluffy brows and the beginnings of a soft, dreamy eye. You found yourself thinking about your own wedding, the kind of makeup you'd have, the dress you'd wear, the colours you might choose. You could picture the guests, the bridesmaids, the church. But the groom didn't seem to have a face. No matter how hard you tried to imagine him waiting for you at the altar, you just couldn't make him out.

You were the last one to sit in the hair stylist's chair, nursing your cocktail as she ran a bristly round brush through your hair, spraying you with mists and pinning it up in sections while you watched the other women slip into their dresses. 

At every fitting, Camilla had been very specific about what she wanted your dresses to look like. They were beautiful; layers upon layers of delicate tulle that flowed to the ground like water, sleeves that draped off the shoulders and dozens of intricate flower appliqués. If it weren't for the soft blue colour, they could have been mistaken for wedding gowns. 

You watched as each woman was zipped and buttoned into her dress, the material gliding across the ground as they walked and twirled. And when your hair was finished, you put on your own, holding it tight to your chest as Femi fastened the back. You turned to looked at yourself in the mirror; the makeup, the hair and the most magnificent dress you had no idea how to walk in without tripping over it. You felt beautiful. You looked beautiful. You all did. 

You stood in the room waiting to go, clutching your bouquet in front of you, your thumb fiddling with the twine keeping it all together. Clusters of periwinkles, cornflowers, lavender and lilacs were peppered with baby's-breath and eucalyptus. You brought it to your nose, the sleepy perfume calming you down as you shifted your weight from side to side in your heels. 

The door opened and Camilla stepped into the room, eliciting a collective gasp from the bridal party, even you. Her jet black hair was slicked into a low bun, a veil cascading from it like a waterfall to the ground. Her dress was a pearly white; high neck and long sleeves, the beading catching in the sunlight that shone through the window. The train was long enough to rival royalty, her mother and father carrying it into the room behind her. 

The photographer was snapping pictures, moving around to catch each of the bridesmaids reactions. You glanced around to see them all carefully dabbing away tears, wondering if you were supposed to be crying too. You lifted a finger to your eye as he took your photo, not wanting to seem like the odd one out when they looked back over the album. 

"Right," said Camilla. "Let's go get married." 

It was two bridesmaids to a car; the dresses so big that you had to be packed and folded into the back seats like the stuffing of a pillow. You'd been put with Esther; the most laid back of the group, her soothing voice and charming laugh making the entire ordeal a little less mortifying. When the driver finally closed her door, she blew a loose strand of hair out of her face, turning to you and smirking. 

"Logistically, they should've just stuck us all in the back of a van," she said. 

You giggled. "Yeah, or one of those things they transport horses in." 

"Can you imagine," she laughed. 

The engine rumbled to life and you began to move, following in a long line of classic cars decorated with flowers. You returned to fiddling with the twine on your bouquet, breathing slow to loosen the knots forming in your stomach. You tried to focus on the view from your window as you travelled out of the countryside and into the small town, people stopping to look as you all drove past, the pretty views and brightening sky. You hadn't been back there in two months, and it was hard to look at the cobbled roads, thatched roofs and kitschy village shops without thinking of him, without knowing you were just a car ride away from facing him again. 

"Are you okay?" asked Esther.

"Hm?" You turned to look at her. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm good." 

"Are you sure? You seem more nervous than Cam, and she's the bride." 

You breathed out a weak laugh. "No, I'm fine, really. Just... churches, y'know. They make me uneasy." 

"Ah." She nodded, smoothing down a piece of her dress that had puffed up between you. "Well don't worry about that. If I can walk into a church then you definitely can." 

"What do you mean?" 

"I'm a trans woman, about to walk into a Catholic Church and stand in front of a priest who probably thinks I don't deserve to exist." 

"This one won't think that," you said. "He won't."

"How do you know? Have you met him?" 

"I have. And he's one of the good ones, I promise." 

She eyed you for a moment before smiling. "Well then you've got nothing to worry about either, have you." 

She reached over and squeezed your hand, holding it supportively for the rest of the journey. You felt bad, like you'd lied to her, taken her legitimate fear and used it to hide your own sordid truth. You'd tried to move on again, to get back to where you were before the day you found him in this town. But something was missing now, as though you'd left a piece of yourself behind, or maybe he'd taken it, and now nothing fit together right. 

The cars rolled to a stop outside the church. You could see the other bridesmaids gathering at the gates, their dresses fluttering together in a cloud of powder blue. The driver opened Esther's door first, taking her hand to help her out. And for a handful of seconds you were alone in the backseat, with nothing but the sound of your own breath, your nails raking over a fray in the twine you'd been fiddling with until it broke. 

"Oh, fuck sake," you whispered as the arrangement fell apart in your lap, stems and flowers and greenery sitting in the trough of your dress. 

You gathered it all back together frantically as your door opened, clutching it in your fist as you climbed out into the warm June breeze. Esther smiled at you, gesturing for you to come with her to join the others, then she looked down at the flowers in your hand, the piece of string in the other. 

"My god, you really are bricking it aren't you," she laughed, helping you tie it all back together. 

When you got to the other bridesmaids, your eyes darted across all of their bouquets, then down to yours. It looked like shit; too much green on one side, a clump of baby's-breath on the other, a broken stem of lavender hanging limply over your knuckles. You snapped it off and threw it to the ground behind you before anyone noticed. 

The bridal car pulled up and you watched as Camilla and her father climbed out, their smiles warmer than the summer air. You couldn't help but smile too, wondering if your own father would smile like that. He would. Though, he'd probably complain about having to wear a suit first.

You stared up at the church as you made your way towards it, blowing out slow, shaking breaths through pursed lips. 

"It's not about you, Ellis," you muttered to yourself. "This isn't about you." 

You felt an arm link yours, turning to see Esther at your side. She was looking straight ahead, pressing her lips together nervously, and you couldn't help but wonder if the arm she'd given was for your benefit or her's. 

The familiar musky aroma hit you as you walked into the church. You pushed your nose into your lopsided flowers, breathing in their scent instead, wishing you could tuck yourself away inside the petals like Thumbelina until it was all over. 

The organiser shifted you around, peeling you from Esther's side to arrange you in a line. You breathed a sigh of relief to find yourself somewhere in the middle, kicking the bottom of your dress out to stop it getting caught under your feet. Short steps, that's what the dressmaker had said. Little shuffles, a small kick if you feel it catching on your shoes. You were going to fall over. You just knew it. 

Music began to play in the chapel and the hum of chit chat fell silent. You took a deep breath, glancing over your shoulder to give Esther a reassuring smile, before turning back and staring down at the ground, waiting for your turn to walk. 

Lottie went first. Then Georgia, then Femi, then it was you. You turned the corner and stepped through the open chapel doors, taking the fastest small steps you possibly could, wishing you'd convinced Rav to choose the church with the tiny aisle instead. Heads were turned, women in large hats and extravagant fascinators, men with corsages on their lapels and children with wide eyes, all watching you with smiles as you made your way towards the altar. You kept your eyes on Femi in front, watching the way her dress moved so gracefully across the floor, hoping yours somehow looked the same. 

You finally raised your head when you reached the front, your eyes meeting Father Benedict's almost immediately. He was smiling softly, a crisp white stole draped around his neck. You notice his throat bob with a swallow, a glisten along the waterlines of his eyes. You could have cried. But then you looked at Rav, and you couldn't help but break into a smile. He was beaming, chest puffed, shifting on his feet with excited energy as he waited for his bride. He winked at you and you scrunched your nose happily before stepping aside to stand with the other bridesmaids. Esther followed behind you, then Alice. 

Father Benedict raised his hands and the music changed. There was a collective shuffle as everyone in the pews rose to their feet, turning to see Camilla enter the chapel, a bouquet in one hand, her father's fingers firmly clutched in the other. They walked together to the sweet sound of strings, her dress and veil trailing elegantly behind her. She kept her eyes on Rav the entire time, smiling, blushing, and you felt a selfish sense of pride wash over you. You'd introduced them. You'd known how perfect they would be for each other before they'd ever even met. And now here they were, just a year later, declaring their love in front of you all. 

"Hello everyone," said Father Benedict. "We are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Raviraj and Camilla. Let us call upon God to be with us today as we celebrate this union. In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Peace be with you."  "And also with you," you said quietly, your voice lost amongst the collective.

"Let us pray."

You sat down as he began the prayer. You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to savour his voice, just for a moment. 

You wondered if he realised he was looking at you. Those striking blue eyes glancing over every few moments as he gave his first few readings, almost as though he was checking you were still there, making sure you hadn't been a figment of his imagination. You listened to him speak carefully; this was what he'd chosen, to share the word of his God, and he was good at it. 

"Raviraj and Camilla, you have come together today so that the Lord may seal and strengthen your love in the presence of your family and friends," he said. "And in doing so, you will be strengthened to keep mutual and lasting faith with each other as you carry out the duties of marriage. And so, in the presence of the church and of your family and friends, I ask you to state your intentions."

Rav and Camilla exchanged a glance and a nervous laugh. You smiled. 

"Raviraj and Camilla, have you come here to enter into marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?" 

"I have," they both said. 

"Raviraj, are you resolved to take Camilla to be your wife: to love her, comfort her, honour and protect her, and forsaking all others, to be faithful to her for as long as you both shall live?" 

"I am," said Rav, pressing his lips together to hold back an excited grin. 

"Camilla, are you resolved to take Raviraj to be your husband: to love him, comfort him, honour and protect him, and forsaking all others, to be faithful to him for as long as you both shall live?"

"I am," said Camilla. 

"And are you, Raviraj Mishra free lawfully to marry Camilla Anne Bowen?" 

"I am." 

"Are you, Camilla Anne Bowen free lawfully to marry Raviraj Mishra?" 

"I am."  "Well that's lucky," said Father Benedict, getting a light chuckle from everyone, including the bride and groom. 

He was always so good at easing tension; knowing exactly when people needed a moment to laugh, a second to take a breath. 

"Since it is your intention to enter the covenant of Holy Matrimony, join your right hands and declare your consent before God and his church," he said, gesturing for them to hold hands. 

You watched on with pure joy as the couple said their vows, your cheeks aching from smiling, any nerves or apprehension you had melting away as you listened to them giggle and trip over their words. But every now and again, you would find your gaze slipping to Father Benedict; the smile lines, the crinkled brow, the curve of his lips as he laughed. 

"You were right, he is really nice, isn't he," Esther whispered as she leaned over to you.

You nodded. "He is. I'm really glad he's the one doing this." 

"Do we have rings?" he asked.

Rav's best man took a step forward, taking the rings from the breast pocket of his suit and handing them to Father Benedict. 

"Lovely, okay," he said, clearing his throat. "May the Lord bless these rings, which you will give to each other as a sign of love and fidelity. Amen." 

He handed Rav a ring. "Repeat after me: Camilla, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." 

"Camilla," said Rav. "Receive this ring as a sign of..." 

You slapped your face with your palm. Camilla rolled her eyes with a laugh. 

"Come on, I gave you the easy version of this as well," Father Benedict joked, drawing another laugh from the guests. "As a sign of my love and fidelity." 

"Camilla, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." 

He patted Rav on the shoulder like a proud father, and you couldn't help but smile.

"Give me the hard version," said Camilla, making him chuckle deeply in his throat. 

"Has to be the same, I'm afraid." He gave her the ring. "Raviraj, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." 

"Raviraj, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit," she said before slipping it onto his finger, smiling like she'd perfectly recited a Shakespeare soliloquy.

Father Benedict ran a hand through his hair. "Now this is where we would usually declare them husband and wife," he said, addressing the chapel. "However, Raviraj and Camilla have asked if they can read their own declarations which they have prepared. So I will now take a step back and allow Raviraj to begin." 

You sat up straighter, your ears pricking with curiosity as Rav reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, unfolding it with nervous fingers and clearing his throat. 

"Okay," he said, taking a deep breath. "Camilla. Before I met you, I'd stopped believing in love. And because of that, I'd grown comfortable on my own; complacent, maybe even a little bit jaded. But from the second I laid eyes on you, I was forced to confront everything I thought I knew. You made me realise that love isn't something you can just avoid. It's something you feel whether you want to or not, and it should be embraced and cherished and nurtured."

The paper was shaking in his hands, and it almost made you tear up. You placed a hand over your chest as you listened, glancing over at Father Benedict who hadn't taken his eyes off Rav since he began speaking. 

"You found me at a time when I didn't even realise I was lost. When I thought the only way to be strong was to be alone. You showed me that real strength lies in being vulnerable and honest and imperfect, in being brave enough to risk letting someone behind the barricade. Maybe you'll lose everything. Or maybe..." He gestured to Camilla. "You'll gain more than you had to begin with." 

Father Benedict looked at you, you knew because you could feel his gaze on your face like the sun's rays. But you kept yours on Rav.

"So today, I vow to you, Camilla, that I will always keep my heart open for you. I vow to choose you, every single day. You are my person, my partner, and the best risk I ever took." 

The sound of sniffling echoed through the chapel, and you watched as Camilla wiped a tear from her cheek. She cleared her throat, turning to Alice who took out a piece of paper and handed it to her quickly.

"Rav," she said as she unfolded the paper, her voice still wobbly. "When a little over a year ago, a friend told me I should meet her neighbour, I was skeptical." 

You smiled, like you'd been given a shout out on the radio, mentioned in an Oscars speech. Father Benedict held back a smirk as he watched your reaction, rubbing his mouth with his fingers to hide it.

"I was focused and career driven and believed that a relationship would only slow me down. So I said no to meeting you. But then, like an act of God." She gestured to the church around her with a shy laugh. "We ended up in the same bar one night, where that friend introduced us after all. And I am... so glad. Loving you was never a question; I adored you from the start. The fear was that I'd found my soulmate at the wrong time in my life." 

Your focus flitted to Father Benedict as you thought of the last thing he'd said to you. Right person, wrong everything else. He swallowed, his eyes glazed over as Camilla spoke. 

"But there came a point where I had to ask myself: If I were to look back on my life, what would I regret more? Missing out on a few promotions? Or missing out on a lifetime of loving you? There was no contest. Choosing you isn't just a decision. It's the best decision I've ever made. I don't want to wonder what could have been." She flipped her paper over to read the other side. "And what I've discovered is that I actually haven't had to give up anything. Because you have supported me and encouraged me and cheered me on in whatever I've chosen to do. So my promise to you, Rav, is to always do the same. I promise to love and encourage and cheer you on in whatever you do, and I promise to choose you every day, because the only thing worse than not being with you is the regret of never having tried." 

You brought your hands together to clap, stopping when you realised no one else was applauding. Instead there were tears, sharp sniffs and coughs. Father Benedict stepped back up to them, clearing his throat and curling his mouth into a sincere smile. 

"That was beautiful," he said. "Now, let us humbly invoke God's blessing upon this bride and groom, that in his kindness he may favour with his help those on whom he has bestowed the bond of marriage." 

"Closer if you can, Darlin'," said the photographer from behind his camera. 

You shuffled closer to the groomsman you'd been placed beside, so close your hip was now pressing against him. Surely this was close enough. You held your bouquet in front of you and smiled as the camera snapped in quick succession. 

The sun was gleaming now in a clear blue sky, the air growing humid as you all stood outside the church for photos. The confetti you'd thrown was fluttering across the grass in the light breeze, the cars waiting near the road to take you to the reception. 

"That's lovely," said the photographer. "If you on the end there could just turn your body inwards a bit please." 

Lottie turned as the camera snapped again. 

You were standing in a meticulously organised row; six groomsmen and six bridesmaids, slotted together and posed in your blue dresses and their matching blue ties and pocket squares. Your groomsman was Rav's cousin Niall, who kept making you laugh by muttering things under his breath. 

"You, love, you're going to have to get closer than that," said the photographer. 

"Me?" You pointed to yourself. 

"If you can please, darlin'." 

"Jesus, any closer and we'll have to use protection," said Niall quietly.

You laughed through your nose, trying to hold it in as the camera shutter went off again. 

Across the grass, Rav and Camilla were standing together, stealing kisses and holding hands beneath the shade of a large tree. You felt warm watching them, unsure if you'd ever been this unequivocally happy for someone else before. Your eyes moved over the groups of guests to the church, your heart stopping for a moment when you saw Father Benedict standing at the top of the steps near the entrance. 

He was out of his white alb and stole now, standing with his hands in the pockets of his trousers, a black shirt rolled up at the sleeves and white clerical collar around his neck. He met your gaze for a moment and you gave him a soft smile. He smiled back, but it seemed sad, even from so far away. 

"Can we do a funny one?" asked Georgia.

The rest of you groaned in unison, but it was too late, the photographer already coming over to reposition the group. He turned you all sideways, your back to Niall's chest, his back to Esther's and so on until it looked like a twelve person queue.

"This is a bit human centipede-y, don't you think?" Niall called out to him.

"Do you think he's going to have us conga all the way back to the manor?" Esther joked.

Niall laughed. "Ellis is leading so we'd all be fucked." 

You elbowed him. 

"Alright, after three you're all going to kick out your leg and lean back on the person behind you!" the photographer shouted. 

"Oh cheers, Georgia, this is just wonderful," said one of the groomsmen. 

"I just wanted to pull some funny faces," she shouted back. "I didn't think he'd have us doing fucking Cirque du Soleil!" 

You looked over at Father Benedict again, shaking your head at him. His shoulders shook with a gentle laugh, his hand covering a smile. 

The photographer moved on to Camilla and Rav's parents soon after. You stayed on the grass, trying to rearrange your bouquet as your heels sank into the soft earth beneath you. You looked over at the other bridesmaids, watching as they all found their partners amongst the chaos; Alice and her husband talking to Femi and her fiancé, Lottie sitting on the church steps FaceTiming her boyfriend in Australia as Georgia introduced her girlfriend to Esther and her boyfriend. You bit the inside of your cheek, returning your attention to the flowers in your hand.

"Ellie!" 

You looked up to see Blossom running towards you. 

"Hi," you said, bending down to hug her before pulling back to look at her dress, the mint green material covered in a subtle frog print. "You look so cute." 

She smiled as Lorna caught up behind her, placing a hand lovingly on top of her daughter's head.

"So you compromised on her wearing the frog onesie to the wedding, then," you said. 

She nodded. "Praise the lord." 

You laughed. 

She slid her sunglasses onto her head, her almost-knee-length hair falling in loose waves down her back. She was wearing a long, sunflower print dress with exaggerated bell sleeves, a pair of wooden clogs with hand-painted soles. You didn't realise you were staring at her until she narrowed her eyes at you. 

"What is it?" she asked. 

"Oh, sorry. Sometimes I just wish I was you." 

"Don't be silly." She laughed and patted your arm. "I'm just going to see Rav. Are you coming Blossom?"

The little girl didn't move. You looked at Lorna and smiled. "I'll stay with her."

She thanked you as she walked away, and you returned to plucking stray leaves from your bouquet. You looked down to see Blossom running her fingers over your dress, quietly admiring the appliqués.

"Do you like it?" you asked. 

She nodded.

"I'll save it for you. You can have it when you're older." 

She smiled shyly. 

You crouched down, resting on your haunches to look at the dress with her, turning at the waist so she could see the back. 

Father Benedict was still standing at the top of the church steps, leaning against the open door as he stared off into space. But he seemed to sense that you were looking at him, glancing down to catch your gaze. 

You wanted to talk to him. Not about what happened, not about the two of you or your feelings or religion or anything. You just wanted to talk. About the weather, about how his day was going, about what he was going to have for dinner. There had to be a part of you that was still capable of that. 

Blossom pointed to one of the appliqués near the hem of your dress. "This one is my favourite," she said.

She didn't talk a lot, so whenever she did it took you by surprise. You returned your attention to her immediately. 

"Really? I like that one too. And this one here." 

You looked back up to find him smiling; a soft, sincere smile that made your heart ache. 

"Ellis, our car's ready to go!" Esther shouted across the grass. 

You stood up, taking Blossom's hand to lead her back to Lorna, allowing one last glance back at the church steps. 

A strange sense of calm washed over you as you looked at him, like there was comfort in your last memory of him being in the place he'd chosen to stay. 

You weren't sure how you'd ended up in the middle of the dance floor, huddled amongst a huge group of women as they squashed together in excitement. You'd intended to stay on the outskirts, but someone had pulled you, another accidentally pushing you further inward, until eventually you were at the heart of the cluster, watching as Camilla turned her back, counting down from three. 

Her bouquet came flying towards you, but instead of catching it, you ducked, letting it soar over your head and into the hands of a woman behind you. She jumped and cheered, the rest of the women laughing and clapping as her boyfriend jokingly made a run for the door. 

"God, Ellis, tell me you're scared of commitment without telling me you're scared of commitment," said Camilla, laughing as she walked over to you. 

"Well my natural reaction to things flying at my head is to duck," you said with a shrug. 

A waiter walked past with a tray of champagne. She plucked one off it and took a large gulp.

"The world's not running out of champagne, Cam," you said. 

"Sorry," she mumbled, wiping the corner of her mouth with her hand. "This whole wedding's just been so stressful. All that drama with the planner, and then the fucking church burning down." 

"Maybe it was her. Set fire to it out of spite because you sacked her." 

She laughed. "Wouldn't put it past her. We're just so lucky we got the church we did. He was nice wasn't he. The priest. Made it really... not boring."

"Yeah, he was... It was good." 

She cocked her head, brow furrowing slightly. "What?" 

"What?" 

"You just seem really sad." 

"I'm not sad. I'm not." You looked around the busy hall. "Lonely, yes. Sad, no." 

"Oh, Ellis, don't say that, you're breaking my heart."

You rolled your eyes. "I'm only joking. Go and enjoy your wedding for Christ's sake." 

She eventually disappeared into the sea of guests as you made your way over to the bar. You ordered a drink and plonked yourself back down at your table, resting your cheek on your fist as you sipped it slowly. 

The large hall was dark, flashing with colourful disco lights and strobes as the DJ played music from a deck in the corner. You watched people enjoying themselves; the funny dance-walk they'd do as they made their way to the floor, the buttons of men's shirts coming further undone as they got drunker and sweatier, the kids being told off for sliding on their knees in their good clothes.

Your table was empty since Lorna had taken Blossom home, the bridesmaids up dancing and catching up with people they knew on the other side of the room. You didn't mind, always finding parties more of an obligation than they were fun; you hated having to shout down people's ears just to have a conversation, being pressured to get up and dance, losing your seat if you left it for too long. You much preferred to sit on the edge of the room, nursing a drink and people watching. You were Ellis Attenborough, observing humans in their natural habitat. 

The music lowered and the multicoloured lights melted to a warm white. You looked around in confusion as the noise of the hall seemed to hush suddenly. 

"Ladies and gentleman, please join me in welcoming the new Mr and Mrs Mishra to the floor for their first dance as husband and wife," said the DJ over the speakers.

The room erupted into cheers and applause. You clapped along as Rav took Camilla's hand and led her to the centre of the empty dance floor. She'd changed dresses, swapping her ornate, bountiful gown for a sleek, elegant slip. You watched as the photographer scurried around them, trying to get a good shot as they wrapped their arms around each other and began to sway to the music. 

You hated yourself for thinking of him as you watched them dance. You hated that you felt jealous, persecuted, forced to spend the rest of your life as a spectator to other people's love stories from the corner of the room. You'd never been certain of what you wanted, and there was something so cruel in knowing now; knowing that you did want the marriage, the children, the brushing teeth side by side in the mirror each morning and washing dishes while the other dried them in the evenings. You wanted the fights, the sex, the anniversaries, the dates. You wanted to be a girlfriend, then a fiancé, then a wife. And if there really was a God, he was a fucking arsehole for taking all of those wants and putting them into a man you could never have. For setting up the dominoes so perfectly and then moving the last one just an inch too far to fall. 

The song was still going, and you watched as other couples began to join them on the dance floor, moving in their own little bubbles, smiling, kissing, embracing. You got up and weaved through the crowd towards the exit, stepping out of the hall into the vast, empty foyer of the stately home.

You grabbed the hem of your dress, lumping the abundance of material in your arms as you made your way through the front doors and out into the cool night air. Your ears were ringing, the noise of the party a distant hum as you walked down the steps and over the gravel towards the gardens. There were a few people dotted over the grounds, a couple walking hand-in-hand through the flower gardens, a man in a three piece suit smoking a cigarette as he sat on the grass, a woman waiting for a cab near the long driveway. 

You trudged over the grass with your dress balled up in your arms, drinking in deep breaths as you prepared yourself to go back inside. You turned around, taking in the full view of the manor, the stars above so bright and unpolluted by city light. 

You held your middle finger up at the sky. "Fuck you," you said. "You won. Well done." 

The man with the cigarette gave you an awkward look. 

"I'm talking to God," you said. "He's a prick." 

"Ah." He nodded.

You let out an exasperated sigh and walked back towards the house, almost tripping when your heel got caught in the grass. The noise from the reception grew louder as you made it back onto the gravel, and you wondered if you should just go straight upstairs to your room, lie down and begin nursing the inevitable headache. You reached into your bra for your key card, pulling it out and immediately dropping it, listening as it clattered down each step you'd just climbed. 

"Of course," you muttered, turning around to walk back down when a figure emerged from the dark. 

His footsteps crunched slowly as his tall frame came into view. You stopped, back straightening, blinking rapidly as your brain tried to catch up with your eyes. 

"Hi," said Father Benedict, his voice so quiet the breeze almost carried it away. 

"Hi..." you replied, brows coming together in confusion. 

He picked up the key card and held it out to you.

"Thanks," you said, walking down the last few steps and taking it from him. "I... I didn't think priests usually got invited to the reception..." 

"I wasn't invited," he said, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. "I erm, it was actually quite stalkerish if I'm honest, I'm- I'm not proud of it. I asked around the town and found out where they were having it." 

"Oh." You looked over your shoulder to the open doors. "Well I'm sure they won't mind that you're here. They seemed to really like y-"

"I came to find you." 

"To find me?" 

"To tell you that this morning was my last service." 

"You're moving churches again?" 

"I'm leaving the clergy." 

You fell silent, looking around in bewilderment. "Wh- I don't und- Why?" 

"You know why." 

You stared at him for a moment, then your eyes grew wide. "No," you breathed. "No. You can't- You can't."

"Well I have." 

"Wh- Wh... When did you...?" 

"Today." 

You lost your grip on the skirt of your dress, the material falling from your arms to the floor. "Why would you do that?" 

He didn't answer, looking down at you like you already knew. 

"Ben..." 

"I can live without this." He pointed to his collar, before shaking his head, his voice cracking. "I don't think I can live without you." 

Your lips parted, a breath escaping like your lungs had caved in. Your eyes were beginning to water because you'd forgotten how to blink, your heart thumping in time with the music inside. 

"Ellis," he whispered. 

"Are you playing a trick on me?"

He breathed out a laugh, shaking his head as he moved closer and brought his hands up to cup your face. He tilted your head back slightly and leaned down, placing a slow, tender kiss on your lips. When he stopped, he let his forehead rest against yours, looking into your eyes as you struggled to form a coherent sentence. 

"But what... What if- If it didn't work out? Then-"

"Then I'd be thankful I got to love you. Openly, completely. Even if it was just for a little while." 

"You're not thinking clearly. You're giving up everything-"

"I'm gaining everything."

You shook your head in disbelief. 

Another quiet laugh rumbled in his throat. "Ellis," he said. "What do you want?" 

You paused, staring up at him. "I want to brush my teeth with you." 

"What?" 

You shook your head, throwing your arms around the back of his neck and pulling him into another kiss. His hands slid down from your face to wrap around your waist, hugging you tight as your lips moved in perfect tandem. You felt him smile, and you smiled too, weaving your fingers into the back of his hair.

Rav and Camilla wandered through the doors, taking a few steps before stopping suddenly. 

"Is that... Ellis... kissing our priest...?" asked Rav.

Camilla grabbed his arm and they slowly retreated back inside. 

Ben broke away, bringing his hands back to your face as he stared down at you. "Right person," he said. "Full stop."

*Tags: @evelynrosestuff @thealleydog @lexlexigogh @allie131313 @simpingbestie @ironstrange1991 @witchoftheages @hiddendiary @swds @jyessaminereads @withalittlehoney @hunterofshadows04 @slytherindoctorsat221b @diabaroxa @phoebe221 @hai-kbai @downtownshabby @dara-of-qui-zi @unfilteredmoonchild @classicrebound @bigratbitchsworld @aphroditesdilemma @bloodyxsaint @ployavengersog1 @spectaclebitch @paola-carter @gordorio @shjl15 @thedaredevilsgirl @howardtonypotts @ceccille @wllsfer @thelostsmiles @vi0letdaze @stanfanfiction @king-kongbebe-blog @sof38 @doctorscarletwitch @rmoonstoner @intrappolatatrairicordi @ehuether @dragonqueen89 @estheticwh0re @Lfp10836 @kanyewestest @star-girl-05 @theothersideofthescreen @battledress @chaosdorito @vlqueen @erratica47 @happybunnyclumsyduck @bloggerbatch @bimrwolf @chaand-sitara @dude-where-s-my-tardis @run-clever-boy @j3mj3rrica

[ripempezardexerox]

Dices Merzbow, yo digo Justin Beiber

Dices Boredoms, yo digo Katy Perry

Dices Gerogerigegege, yo digo Skrillex

Dices Coil, yo digo Lady Gaga

Dices Throbbing Gristle, yo digo Black Eyed Peas

Dices Whitehouse, yo digo Taylor Swift

Dices Nurse With Wound, yo digo Bruno Mars

Dices Einstürzende Neubauten, yo digo Maroon 5

Dices Brainbombs, yo digo Drake

Dices Egor Letov, yo digo One Direction

Dices Death in June, yo digo LMFAO

Dices Current 93, yo digo Beyonce

Dices La Monte Young, yo digo Carly Rae Jepsen

Dices Moondog, yo digo Kelly Clarkson

Dices Lou Harrison, yo digo Coldplay

Dices Henry Cowell, yo digo PSY

Dices Luigi Russolo, yo digo Imagine Dragons

Dices Popol Vuh, yo digo Lana Del Ray

Dices Fishmans, yo digo Ellie Goulding

Dices Jean Jacques Perrey, yo digo P!nk

Dices Les Rallizes Dénudés, yo digo Owl City

Dices Rainbow Caroliner, yo digo Carrie Underwood

Dices Taj Mahal Travellers, yo digo Christina Aguilera

Dices Fushitsusha, yo digo Ariana Grande

Dices Peter Brötzmann, yo digo Rihanna

Dices John Cage, yo digo Jennifer Lopez

Dices Scott Walker, yo digo Ed Sheeran

Dices Unwound, yo digo Mumford & Sons

Dices Dead, yo digo Tyga

Dices Frank Zappa, yo digo Shakira

Dices Morton Feldman, yo digo Macklemore

Dices Captain Beefheart, yo digo Big Time Rush

Dices Pharoah Sanders, yo digo Akon

Dices Albert Ayler, yo digo Foster the People

Dices Ornette Coleman, yo digo The Weeknd

Dices Alice Coltrane, yo digo Panic! at the Disco

Dices Arnold Schoenberg, yo digo Florida Georgia Line

Dices Pierre Boulez, yo digo Big Sean

Dices György Ligeti, yo digo Gym Class Heroes

Dices Karlheinz Stockhausen, yo digo Miley Cyrus

Dices Nang Nang, yo digo The Lumineers

Dices Thinking Fellers Union Local 282, yo digo Jay-Z

Dices Nara Leão, yo digoCharlie Puth

Dices Basic Channel, yo digo Mac Miller

Dices Raymond Scott, yo digo Twenty One Pilots

Dices Delia Derbyshire, yo digo Harry Styles

Dices Daphne Oram, yo digo Charli XCX

Dices Noah Howard, yo digoBTS

Dices Terry Riley, yo digo Iggy Azalea

Dices Peter Sotos, yo digo John Legend

Dices Lula Côrtes e Zé Ramalho, yo digo OneRepublic

Dices Boyd Rice, yo digo Migos

Dices Mahmoud Ahmed, yo digo Logic

Dices Henry Flynt, yo digo Bastille

Dices Kazumoto Endo, yo digo Five Seconds of Summer

Dices David Tudor, yo digo Pentatonix

Dices Aporea, yo digo The Chainsmokers

Dices Half Japanese, yo digo Fall Out Boy

Dices Mega Banton, yo digo David Guetta

Dices Secret Chiefs 3, yo digo Greta Van Fleet

Dices Keiji Haino, yo digo Alicia Keys

Dices Ramleh, yo digo Kanye West

Dices Otomo Yoshihide, yo digo T-Pain

Dices John Zorn, yo digo Lizzo

Dices Joe Meek, yo digo WALK THE MOON

Dices Robbie Basho, yo digo Cardi B

Dices Phil Spector, yo digo EXO

Dices Faxed Head, yo digo Solange

Dices Harry Partch, yo digo Lil Nas X

Dices Wesley Willis, yo digo Disclosure

Dices Fred Frith, yo digo Sam Smith

Dices The Residents, yo digo Michael Buble

Dices Sun Ra, yo digo Paramore

Dices Sun City Girls, yo digo Linkin Park

Dices Hans Krüsi, yo digo Florence + The Machine

Dices Royal Trux, yo digo Rascal Flatts

Dices Jandek, yo digo Eminem

Dices Yat-Kha, yo digo Chance the Rapper

Dices Loren Mazzacane Connors, yo digo Mariah Carey

Dices Pärson Sound, yo digo Snoop Dogg

Dices The Dead C, yo digo Adele

Dices Comus, yo digo Shawn Mendes

Dices Cromagnon, yo digo Chris Brown

Dices Eliane Radigue, yo digo Camilla Cabello

Dices Arthur Doyle, yo digo Halsey

Dices Shizuka, yo digo The 1975

Dices The Red Krayola, yo digo Billie Eilish

Dices Henry Cow, yo digo A$AP Rocky

Dices Magma, yo digo Dua Lipa

Dices Opus Avantra, yo digo Kendrick Lamar

Dices Pan.Thy.Monium., yo digo Nicki Minaj

Dices Murmuüre, yo digo Madonna

Dices Ksiezyc, yo digo Britney Spears

Dices Gong, yo digo Post Malone

Dices Cukor Bila Smert', yo digo Jonas Brothers

Dices cLOUDDEAD, yo opino que te calles

Dices Muslimgauze, ¡¡ YO GRITO POP!!

Dices Kaoru Abe, y te parto la madre

El 92% de la juventud está escuchando Avant Garde Noise. Si eres parte de ese 8% que aun escucha música de verdad, comparte este post a tus contactos de facebook.

¡¡¡¡ No dejes que el espíritu del POP muera !!!!

[laimabynight]

Original Character Masterlist ♡

Count:95 Systems:32 Active:8

Vampire: The Masquerade

Camilla 'Georgia' Soledad, Brujah (x)

Vendelín Rusizka, Toreador (x)

Anastasia della Giordano, Tzimisce (x)

Devon Rowe, Malkavian (x)

Salvador Dolorosa, Brujah (x)

Kuriyama Tomoe, Banu Haqim (x)

Angelina Cruz, Lasombra (x)

Raffaele Giovanni, Giovanni (x)

Eugen Radetzky, Nosferatu (x)

Margarita D'aureville, Follower of Set (x)

Killian Darkwater, Thin-Blood (x)

René Debussy, City Gangrel (x)

Sister Mirona, Caitiff ( )

Jack Ramiro, Gangrel (x)

Pavlo Stepanovych Makarenko, Brujah ( )

Werner Henkel, Human (x)

Audrey Cordelia Redmond, Ghul ( )

Werewolf: The Apocalypse

Jana Mirtschin, Silent Strider (x)

Ljudmila Nikolaewa Sokolova, Silver Fang (x)

Mage: The Ascension

Yvonne Ebert, Verbana (x)

Dungeons & Dragons

Markus Abdiel, Human Monk/Barbarian (x)

Oriana Vylmythe, Eladrin Archfey Warlock (x)

Ladislava von Koldov, Human Undead Warlock (x)

Dorryen Whitestone, Half-Elf Wild Magic Sorcerer ( )

Hatake Yuka, Half-Elf Swaschbuckler Rogue (x)

Beladrin Halhadamorir, Wood Elf Ranger (x)

Tamar Balabanian, Tiefling Champion Fighter (x)

Thames Donahue, Human Undying Warlock (x)

Rhiannon Evenbraid, Firbolg Circle of Land Druid (x)

Das Schwarze Auge

Najara al Kira ibn Sajida, Aranian Majuna (x)

Zidanja Walsareff, Bornlandian Adventurer (x)

Call of Cthulhu

Helena 'Harvey' Fountain, Artist (x)

Weston McNamara, Journalist (x)

Else von Sydow, Scientist (x)

Walter E. Harlan, Private Investigator (x)

Lord Ernest of Somersetshire, Noble (x)

Karl Eduard Nauditt / Karol Edward Naumowicz, Thug (x)

Eli Wilkinson, Missionary (x)

Joan Olson, Law Student (x)

María Ascunción Leguizamo, Nature Boy (x)

Vito Massarelli, Gangster Boss (x)

Hearts of Wulin

Ruan Qingshan, Little Brother (x)

Lín Xiǎo Dān, Wanderer (x)

Monsterhearts

Gjest Solheim, Queen (x)

Salem Lotte Harlan, Heir (x)

Jordan Bennett, Seraphim (x)

Michelle Bader, Siren ( )

Elvis Stalten, Witch (x)

Nathan Garcia, Mortal (x)

Moby Liberman, Mimikry (x)

Miranda Kean, Werewolf (x)

Amber Magdalene Dawson, Mortal ( )

Arcane Codex

Yatoth dex Selkasha, Morai Cleric (x)

Okagami

Saya, Kitsugo Noble (x)

Schatten über Volgorod

Ser Ilya Lynnhardt of the Blue Iris, Human Knight (x)

Benoît Vaillancourt, Human Occultist (x)

Cresentia 'Senta' Läufer, Human Model (x)

Rodion Mihail von Blankenheim-Lebedjev, Human Noble (x)

Mircea Eliadescu, Undead Warlord (x)

Pasión de las Pasiones

Fernanda Salazar, La Belleza (x)

Hyboria

Pallantia, Aquilonian Mercenary (x)

Shadow of the Demon Lord

Zinnober, Changeling Magician (x)

For The Queen

Mitena, Inventor (x)

Kasmeer Valorante, Florist/Magician (x)

Htut, Tiger Keeper (x)

Shiverin' Shelley, Pirate (x)

Nicola Snyder, Reporter (x)

Hank Cox, Fraudster (x)

Rippers Resurrected

Ashkara Kathat, Warrior Princess (x)

Mausritter

Annotto Crowley, Bat Cultist (x)

Vespuccio, Envoy (x)

Estragon Heller (x)

Devil, Aim For Me

Tennessee Dixon, Pamphleteer (x)

Pathfinder

Solaris Tarkovisk, Human Cleric (x)

Marquis Donatien Jaques de l'Ostrove, Elf Swashbuckler ( )

Revain 'Petals-Swirling-Around-Body', Bard ( )

Magic School

Ulysses Elevander, Ravenclaw (x)

The Spirit Of '77

Tiago 'Tuco Velocidad' Garrido, The Good Old Boy (x)

One Last Job

Donna Wang, The Driver (x)

R'lyehwatch

Paige DeLuca, The Medic (x)

Electric Bastionland

Dr. Ichabod Bellagamba, Cryptohistorian (x)

Shadowdark

Nourin/Moitreyee, Witch (x)

Solo

Blanca von Hallberg, Noblewoman (x)

Endymiodes, Spartan Warrior (x)

Cartel

Sofia Casagrande, La Esposa (x)

City of Mist

Bethany 'Bassie' LaRue, Bastet (x)

Parisa Keshmiri, Gilgamesch (x)

Vaesen

Olga Klockar, Doctor (x)

Kuzma Vitalijovych Bojchuck, Soldier (x)

Freeform

Draven Schwarzschatten, Cleric (x)

How To Be A Hero

Clementine Sybil Montgomery, Heiress (x)

Edda 'Die Bärin vom Odewald', Swordswoman (x)

Fantasy Forge

Xylenea Octava, Intergalactic Reality Starlet (x)

CY_BORG

GUL, Burned Hacker (x)

Fabula Ultima

Yanagi Yoru, Ambitious Assassin (x)

[brokenhcrt]

PINNED POST!

indie sideblog for my fandomless ocs. this blog is 21+, and my partners are to also be 21+. mun is 27

follows from: drummerdaines

low / sporadic activity. default muse is MADDOX LAKE if no muse is stated. opens memes navigation

maddox lake, model & bridesmade for hire, 25, sabrina carpenter | witch, bisexual phoenix hastner, receoptionist for a law firm, 25, joe keery, gay storm simms, lead guitarist & writer for vulgar crown, 22 - 29, joe quinn, pansexual theodora winifred, jobless, 140 ( immortal ), grace van dien, bisexual ashlee georgia, job tba, 25, miles robins | ghost human hybrid, bisexual mylene baines, librian, 48, leigh anne pinnock ( main ) | demon,bisexual sky carpenter, telemarketer, 50, mackenyu ( main ) | demon, bisexual whitney gibbs, horror com youtuber / gamer / twitch streamer, 25, adeline rudolph, bisexual tiffany 'tink' bell, retail worker, 26, katherine mcnamara, pansexual bianca winters, ice rink employee, 26. courtney eaton | winter spirit, pansexual harlow beaumont, ex childstar, waiter, 24 ( subjected to change ), charlie gillespie bisexual alexander wright jr, mechanic, 25 ( subjected to change ), jeremy shada, bisexual lavender henderson, lead singer of unholy martyr, 27, karen fukuhara bisexual mary castro, guitarist for unholy martyr, 26, camilla mendes lesbian

mun uses animated icons for ooc posts

blogroll:

drummerdaines ( oc drummer for a heavy metal band ; FOLLOWS FROM HERE )

piecedpirates ( mumu one piece ; main prioity / fixation )

wiildhcartsrun ( resource / writing blog ) 

hollowkidds ( ma.yahart & fark.leminkus )

rules:

basics

21+ for rp partners. this is a sideblog so follows will come from drummerdaines, who is a muse linked with storm

once sm.ut starts to happen, icons / gifs will be dropped out of respect for those who created the ones i use, a banner will be used in it's place , this made by cafekitsune

nsfw comes in many forms and i welcome all types as i do like my horror

blog runs on a queue & is low priorty ; i mainly work with muse instead of trying to force it

i am open to writing on discord, and have many more muses avalaible there too, including canon characters

will give out my discord to those intersted in it

due running three other blogs, i will be putting focus onto replies for here on saturdays and sundays. with piecedpirates getting most of my attention during the week though of course if something is giving me dopamine, i will chase that

will not

ship with muses under 18, prefered to not interact with muses under 18

ship minor x adult, incest ( inlcuding foster, adoptive & step )

write with characters like the grabber or pennywise

banned faces are: the dead, abusers, john.nydeep, amb.erheard, no.ahschnapp, chi.naannemc.lain, tay.lorswit, jos.huabassett

specfic bans, these fc aren't banned overall, i just wont engage in a romantic / shippy plot with: bar.rykeoghan fc with maddox and jose.phquinn fc with theo, gracevandien fc with storm. sorry h3llch33r fans ruined this for me

write with people writing real people, including wwe stars as their 'characters'

[pongpalace]

oooh how about “Is it too early to have a breakdown this week?”“It’s Monday.”“That doesn’t answer my question.” Maybe erm...Zimbits orrrrr NurseyRans, or Camilla/George? Any ship you want, really

 ooooh, im always in a Camilla/George mood also on ao3)

George isn’t ashamed to admit it, but she’s cried over her job before.

The first time was when she got the Assistant GM position and became one of the first woman with such a high level management position in the NHL. Those were happy tears and came after years of fighting tooth and nail to get recognized for her hard work. Those tears happened in a bathroom stall of the rink she’d been at when she got the news, and also got her kleenex handed under the stall when the woman next to her heard and worried. Those tears make her smile now when she looks back on them, not least because she still has coffee with Tai when they’re in the same city.

She’s cried over trades, over wins, over loses, over shitty interns and shittier men who think they can do her job better (they can’t). She’s cried in the bathroom nearest her office, the ones down by the ice and locker rooms, and she’s cried in the car on her way home. George is an emotional person and managing a hockey team takes a lot out of her and her way of dealing with the emotions is crying.

Today’s tears are angry; borne from frustration with the job, on top of a day where everything that could’ve gone wrong has; a textbook case of the Mondays.

First, George came into work without coffee because she got distracted last night before she set the coffee maker and then Camilla distracted her again this morning, so George had to rush through her morning routine which left no time to wait for the coffee to percolate. Her regular Starbucks’ parking lot was under construction so she drove around it twice looking for the entrance to the before giving up and giving into the arena coffee that’s never very good, no matter who makes it.

She got to her office to find that something happened to her computer over the weekend, causing most of the files saved to her hard drive to corrupt. This wouldn’t normally have been such a big deal—she backs everything up onto an external hard drive daily—except last Friday’s hadn’t saved properly, so she lost all the progress she made on the quarterly players reports that are needed for tomorrow’s front office meeting. She had to work through her lunch to redo everything she did on Friday, forgoing the player development analysis that she was actually looking forward to working on. It was such a stupid, ridiculous, busy morning that she had to eat a cold, premade sandwich from the canteen during a business call with the league’s other assistant GM’s about new concussion protocols, a call that was basically a giant waste of time that could’ve been spent on one of the other many things on her to-do list because the league still doesn’t take concussions seriously enough.

The biggest catalyst for the tears happened after the business call though, at an afternoon scouting meeting. It took twice as long as it should’ve because one of the newer scouts hadn’t listened when George said she was looking for a two-way, fast blueliner to balance out Tater’s hard shot and his tendency to pinch up as a fourth forward, and instead brought in yet another big D-man who’d need to spend at least a season in the AHL developing his game before he’d be quick enough for the show, but “at least he used his body and had a good shot.” The scout argued with George about the poor kid’s chances in the NHL in front of the entire scouting team, management, and half of the coaching staff until other George, the Falcs’s GM, snapped at him and the meeting finished as quickly as possible. George has spent most of her NHL career sweating and bleeding to make the men in this stupid league take her seriously, and she’s been mostly successfully what with ten years as an Assistant GM under her belt. It’d been a while since someone had questioned her scouting decisions though, so the meeting knocked her back on her heels, and off balance in a way she hasn’t been in a long time.

George feels justified in kicking off her shoes the moment the door to her office closes behind her and she’s alone. They might scuff the wall a little bit, but it’s nothing that a purposefully placed plant can’t hide. George locks the door and leans back against it just as the tears spill over; a culmination of an absolutely shitty day, coming out in quiet tears and an unfortunate runny nose.

The Falconers have been a great organization to work with, and other George and the owners have made it clear that they have George’s back since she started with the organization, even before the team started playing into the postseason more often than not. It’s when new people are hired on into roles that technically make George their boss that she’s reminded what a boy’s club the NHL can be. It’s exhausting when her every move is questioned by people who don’t know half as much as they think they do, especially because George has the degree and the experience that makes her really good at her job, but no one seems to count her playing on while managing a Div-I hockey team through college, and winning an Olympic gold because it’s women’s hockey.

There’s kleenex on George’s desk, the extra soft ones for moments like this, so when she’s done crying, she crosses the room to pull one from the box. She dabs it under her eyes, making a face when it ends up black from the mascara that was advertised as waterproof. She grabs a clean kleenex to scrub all over her face, hoping to rub away the salty tear tracks that have dried on her cheeks.

The clock on the wall only reads 2 o’clock, and George still isn’t done with the player reports so she settles into her chair to finish them after unlocking the door in case someone needs her. She hopes the glare that she left the scouting meeting wearing will discourage that though.

George is left alone until 4, but then is called into an emergency managers meeting when news breaks that one of the players they’d been ready to trade draft picks for broke his ankle. It’s a long debate about whether or not it’s worth going through with the trade and rehabbing him in Providence or trying to find someone else to play on Jack’s wing without putting them over the salary cap so it’s after 8 o’clock by the time George leaves the office and then there’s traffic from an earlier pile up accident on the way home so George doesn’t actually get home until 9 o’clock.

The house smells like pizza and the candles that Camilla insist smell like the beach, but actually smell like clean laundry. It’s a weird mix, but comforting and a reminder that George has more outside of taking care of the hockey team, though she still feels like she could sleep for days and still not be ready to face to face the rest of the week.

She finds Camilla in the master bathroom, her laptop balanced precariously on the toilet seat and blasting some spotify playlist while she showers. George lowers the volume, her way of telling Camilla that she’s home, and shucks her dress pants and underwear in one go, kicking them off while she fights with the buttons on her blouse. She’s already got the shower door open when she unhooks her bra and throws it over her shoulder. She doesn’t see where it lands.

“You’re home late,” Camilla says, turning to rinse out her hair. George nods and waits until she’s finished to trade spots with her, getting her own hair wet, but mostly just trying to see if the hot water relieves some of the tension of the day. She rolls out her neck and tries to get the water on the knot that seems to have been steadily growing since this morning. Camilla finishes running the conditioner through her own hair before she steps into George’s space for a kiss, hooking her arms around George’s neck and pressing in exactly where the knot is.

“Is it too early to have a breakdown this week?” George asks when they break apart. Camilla raises an eyebrow, reaching to squirt shampoo into her hands. George lets her turn her so she can massage the shampoo into George’s hair, scritching along her hairline. Her eyes fall shut.

“It’s Monday,” Camilla replies. She taps George’s side so George leans back and rinses out her hair. Camilla gets more conditioner into her hands and runs that through George’s hair.

“That doesn’t answer my question,” George says.

“Aw babe.” Camilla’s eyes are big and concerned. “It’s a little early to have a breakdown, but I’ll support whatever you want to do.”

She drags George in for a hug and George tucks her nose into her neck, willing herself not to cry again. She won’t have to explain her day Camilla; she’s been in sports for as much as her life as George has so she gets it, gets having to fight to have her voice heard over the shouts of men who think their voices are the only ones worth listening to. She’s been so loud as a sports journalist, covering women’s sports and bringing attention to how amazing these women athletes are, with little to no reference to their male counterparts because women’s sports can, and should, stand alone. George loves her so much.

They stand pressed together, swaying slightly to the beat of whatever song is playing, until the water starts to go cold, and Camilla reaches around George to adjust the knobs.

“There’s leftover pizza,” Camilla says. She slides past George so she can rinse out the conditioner in her hair before George does the same. “You wanna eat that before your scheduled breakdown, G?”

“Don’t make fun, we were having a moment.”

“Can we finish the moment in bed? My fingers are starting to get pruney.”

George huffs out a laugh; shutting off the water and letting Camilla bully her out of the shower and into a warm towel. She pulls on the team USA sweatpants she’s been using as pjs recently and a soft t-shirt that mysterious made its way from Camilla’s side of the closet into hers. Camilla’s fingers are gentle as they comb through her hair, and George tries to be just as gentle while she braids Camilla’s hair.

They climb into bed, under separate blankets because they both learned a long time ago that they’re no good at sharing when they sleep, but they find their way to the center of the bed to cuddle.

“D’you want pizza though? You must be hungry,” Camilla says, tucking herself under George’s arm. Her shampoo smells like home and her the weight of her body on George is comforting in a way that little else is.

“I just want you,” George replies, though she really hasn’t eaten more than a couple power bars and one of Jack’s gross protein shakes since her late lunch. She’s comfortable right now and unwilling to move if it means having to stop touching Camilla.

Camilla twists and stretches so she’s right in George’s face, propping herself up on her elbows. “You have me, you giant cheeseball.” She’s slow to lean down for a kiss so George surges up and mashes their lips together, swallowing down the amused sound that Camilla makes. The kiss manages to be light and teasing until Camilla nips at George’s bottom lip so she licks past the seam of Camilla’s lips, hands coming up to frame Camilla’s face. George runs her thumb a long Camilla’s jaw and wants to flip them to deepen the kiss even further but then her stomach growls and Camilla pulls back with a wry grin.

“Okay, pizza would be nice then too,” George admits. Camilla presses another kiss to her lips and then to her cheek as she kicks off her covers.

“I love you and I’m sorry you had a shitty day,” Camilla says seriously once she’s standing. George’s heart swells with a fondness that’ll never get old.

“Love you too,” she says, and follows Camilla back down to the kitchen.

They eat the leftover pizza at the sink, trading tomato-y kisses between bites, and this time George sets the coffee machine before Camilla distracts her more so tomorrow is probably going to be better than today.

(It is.)

[virtualhell]

You say Merzbow, I say Justin Bieber

You say Boredoms, I say Katy Perry

You say Gerogerigegege, I say Skrillex

You say Coil, I say Lady Gaga

You say Throbbing Gristle, I say Black Eyed Peas

You say Whitehouse, I say Taylor Swift

You say Nurse With Wound, I say Bruno Mars

You say Einstürzende Neubauten, I say Maroon 5

You say Brainbombs, I say Drake

You say Egor Letov, I say One Direction

You say Death in June, I say LMFAO

You say Current 93, I say Beyonce

You say La Monte Young, I say Carly Rae Jepsen

You say Moondog, I say Kelly Clarkson

You say Lou Harrison, I say Coldplay

You say Henry Cowell, I say PSY

You say Luigi Russolo, I say Imagine Dragons

You say Popol Vuh, I say Lana Del Ray

You say Fishmans, I say Ellie Goulding

You say Jean Jacques Perrey, I say P!nk

You say Les Rallizes Dénudés, I say Owl City

You say Rainbow Caroliner, I say Carrie Underwood

You say Taj Mahal Travellers, I say Christina Aguilera

You say Fushitsusha, I say Ariana Grande

You say Peter Brötzmann, I say Rihanna

You say John Cage, I say Jennifer Lopez

You say Scott Walker, I say Ed Sheeran

You say Unwound, I say Mumford & Sons

You say Dead, I say Tyga

You say Frank Zappa, I say Shakira

You say Morton Feldman, I say Macklemore

You say Captain Beefheart, I say Big Time Rush

You say Pharoah Sanders, I say Akon

You say Albert Ayler, I say Foster the People

You say Ornette Coleman, I say The Weeknd

You say Alice Coltrane, I say Panic! at the Disco

You say Arnold Schoenberg, I say Florida Georgia Line

You say Pierre Boulez, I say Big Sean

You say György Ligeti, I say Gym Class Heroes

You say Karlheinz Stockhausen, I say Miley Cyrus

You say Nang Nang, I say The Lumineers

You say Thinking Fellers Union Local 282, I say Jay-Z

You say Nara Leão, I say Charlie Puth

You say Basic Channel, I say Mac Miller

You say Raymond Scott, I say Twenty One Pilots

You say Delia Derbyshire, I say Harry Styles

You say Daphne Oram, I say Charli XCX

You say Noah Howard, I say BTS

You say Terry Riley, I say Iggy Azalea

You say Peter Sotos, I say John Legend

You say Lula Côrtes e Zé Ramalho, I say OneRepublic

You say Boyd Rice, I say Migos

You say Mahmoud Ahmed, I say Logic

You say Henry Flynt, I say Bastille

You say Kazumoto Endo, I say Five Seconds of Summer

You say David Tudor, I say Pentatonix

You say Aporea, I say The Chainsmokers

You say Half Japanese, I say Fall Out Boy

You say Mega Banton, I say David Guetta

You say Secret Chiefs 3, I say Greta Van Fleet

You say Keiji Haino, I say Alicia Keys

You say Ramleh, I say Kanye West

You say Otomo Yoshihide, I say T-Pain

You say John Zorn, I say Lizzo

You say Joe Meek, I say WALK THE MOON

You say Robbie Basho, I say Cardi B

You say Phil Spector, I say EXO

You say Faxed Head, I say Solange

You say Harry Partch, I say Lil Nas X

You say Wesley Willis, I say Disclosure

You say Fred Frith, I say Sam Smith

You say The Residents, I say Michael Buble

You say Sun Ra, I say Paramore

You say Sun City Girls, I say Linkin Park

You say Hans Krüsi, I say Florence + The Machine

You say Royal Trux, I say Rascal Flatts

You say Jandek, I say Eminem

You say Yat-Kha, I say Chance the Rapper

You say Loren Mazzacane Connors, I say Mariah Carey

You say Pärson Sound, I say Snoop Dogg

You say The Dead C, I say Adele

You say Comus, I say Shawn Mendes

You say Cromagnon, I say Chris Brown

You say Eliane Radigue, I say Camilla Cabello

You say Arthur Doyle, I say Halsey

You say Shizuka, I say The 1975

You say The Red Krayola, I say Billie Eilish

You say Henry Cow, I say A$AP Rocky

You say Magma, I say Dua Lipa

You say Opus Avantra, I say Kendrick Lamar

You say Pan.Thy.Monium., I say Nicki Minaj

You say Murmuüre, I say Madonna

You say Ksiezyc, I say Britney Spears

You say Gong, I say Post Malone

You say Cukor Bila Smert', I say Jonas Brothers

You say cLOUDDEAD, I say shut the ---- up

You say Muslimgauze, I SCREAM pop music!!

You say Kaoru Abe, I punch you in the face

92% of teenagers have turned to Avant Garde and Noise. If you are part of the 8% that still listen to real music, copy and paste this message to another 5 videos. DON'T LET THE SPIRIT OF POP DIE!

[doubleattitude]

Expressenz Dance Center

 Starpower Nationals, Orlando FL 2021: RESULTS

Intermediate:

8 and Under Solo

5th: Cali Masur-’Can’t Hurry Love’

8 and Under Large Group

2nd: ‘Sea Cruise’

3rd: ‘Who Let The Dog’s Out’

Advanced:

8 and Under Solo

3rd: Eloise Mays-’Whole Lotta Shaking Going On’

7th: Marlo Hooper-’Lullaby’

7th: Piper Overman-’God Help the Outcasts’

8th: Madalena Magee-’Hokey Pokey’

12th: Lucia Kingsley-’Zing Went the Strings of My Heart’

16th: Annabelle Simmons-’Big and Loud’

17th: Brynna Finley-’No Excuses’

19th: Cecilia Davos-’Ding Dong the Witch is Dead’

20th: Kinley Herbort-’Born to Entertain’

8 and Under Duet/Trio

1st: Brynn Lehman, Eloise Mays, Kinley Herbort-’I Saw Her Standing There’

3rd: Mary Beth Ferries, Madelyn McMillen, Piper Overman-’Can’t Get Next to You’

8 and Under Small Group

1st: ‘Ave Maria’

2nd: ‘Boogie Shoes’

5th: ‘Reet Petite’

9th: ‘Burning Love’

8 and Under Large Group

1st: ‘Seasons of Love’

7th: ‘Into the Unknown’

8 and Under Line

1st: ‘5,6,7,8′

9-11 Solo

1st: Camryn O’Maley-’When I Look at You’

2nd: Kate Jarboe-’The Impossible Dream’

9th: Ally Melliere-’Here Comes the Sun’

9-11 Duet/Trio

1st: Kate Jarboe, Aly Melliere, Camryn O’Maley-’All That Jazz’

2nd: Kate Jarboe, Jenna Jarboe-’Believe’

5th: Brynn Jones, Maddie Martin, Adler Shiplov-’Dependant’

9-11 Small Group

1st: ‘Don’t Rain on My Parade’

2nd: ‘Day for Hope’

3rd: ‘If I Had My Way’

5th: ‘My Girl’

9-11 Large Group

1st: ���I Will Wait’

2nd: ‘Candyman’

8th: ‘Lose Control’

9-11 Line

2nd: ‘You Can’t Stop the Beat’

3rd: ‘Dior’

4th: ‘Cathedrals’

8th: ‘Rock this Town’

12-14 Solo

1st: Jenna Jarboe-’Don’t Let Me Go’

2nd: Ainsley Grey-’I Will Always Love You’

3rd: Emily Haas-’You Are So Beautiful’

4th: Kathryn Roth-’Astonishing’

6th: Sydney Foertsch-’Mein Herr’

7th: Julia Bailey-’Bolero’

8th: Lauryn Williams-’Yellow Hearts’

9th: Olivia Elliott-’Sunder’

10th: Audriana Varner-’Crying Earth’

11th: Aliya Warren-’Survive’

14th: Keira Himes-’Younger’

14th: Lynsey Foertsch-’I’ll Forget You’

20th: Delaney Michalak-’Feeling Good’

23rd: Joya Haas-’Someone Like You’

24th: Emmie Cannon-’I Gotcha’

12-14 Duet/Trio

1st: Aliya Warren, Isabel Workman, Julia Bailey-’Why Haven’t I Heard From You’

2nd: Jenna Jarboe, Ainsley Grey-’Swan Lake’

3rd: Olivia Elliott, Lily Farrell, Lauryn Williams-’Silent Screams’

12-14 Small Group

1st: ‘Mini Skirt’

2nd: ‘Your Daddy’s Son’

3rd: ‘Disjointed Connections’

4th: ‘O, I Love You’

6th: ‘About That Walk’

8th: ‘Earth Angel’

10th: ‘Balance Contrast’

12-14 Large Group

1st: ‘Epiphany’

2nd: ‘Convolution’

4th: ‘Lucid’

10th: ‘Workin Day and Night’

12-14 Line

1st: ‘Go the Distance’

6th: ‘Turn to Stone’

15-19 Solo

1st: Ava Geske-’Tell Him’

3rd (tie): Mady Justin-’Fever’

4th: Adare Haas-’As If We Never Said Goodbye’

5th: Jenna Kryder-’Give Me One Reason’

8th: Avery Puno-’Ashes’

11th: Kamryn Williams-’Boots Are Made for Walking’

12th (tie): Alexis Leistner-’Change Is Everything’

13th: Macie Blacklidge-’Deeper’

14th (tie): Grace Emery-’Momentary’

29th: Camille Kapsalis-’Can’t Help Falling in Love’

15-19 Duet/Trio

2nd: Jenna Kryder, Kamryn Williams, Mady Justin-’Take 3′

3rd: Macie Blacklidge, Adare Haas, Avery Puno-’Power of Love’

5th: Macie Blacklidge, Ava Geske-’For My Help’

8th: Camilla Kapsalis, Jenna Kryder, Lanae Davis-’Liability’

15-19 Small Group

1st: ‘My Way’

2nd: ‘The Unfolding’

3rd: ‘Your Song’

5th: ‘The Wake’

6th: ‘Mama’

15-19 Large Group

2nd: ‘Hard Feelings’

3rd: ‘I Put A Spell On You’

5th: ‘I See Fire’

15-19 Line

2nd: ‘Look What You Made Me Do’

3rd: ‘X-NZ’

4th: ‘Memories’

Grand Lines:

12 and Over

1st: ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’

Premier Battle for Title:

Mini Miss Starpower

Winner: Georgia Hosack-’Wishin and Hopin’

1st runner-up: Aspyn Geier-’Baby Face’

Petite Miss Starpower

1st runner-up: Eloise Mays-’Whole Lotta Shaking Going On’

2nd runner-up: Piper Overman-’God Help the Outcasts’

Junior Miss Starpower

Winner: Kate Jarboe-’The Impossible Dream’

1st runner-up: Camryn O’Maley-’When I Look at You’

Teen Miss Starpower

Winner: Jenna Jarboe-’Don’t Let Me Go’

2nd runner-up: Emily Haas-’You Are So Beautiful’

Miss Starpower

Winner: Ava Geske-’Between Lines’

2nd runner-up: Adare Haas-’As If We Never Said Goodbye’

Premier Battle of the Stars:

Advanced:

8 and Under Small Group

1st: ‘Ave Maria’

8 and Under Large Group

1st: ‘Seasons of Love’

8 and Under Lines

2nd: ‘5,6,7,8′

8 and Under Victory Cup Champion

‘Seasons of Love’

9-11 Small Group

1st: ‘Don’t Rain On My Parade’

9-11 Large Group

1st: ‘I Will Wait’

9-11 Line

1st: ‘You Can’t Stop the Beat’

9-11 Victory Cup Champion

‘You Can’t Stop the Beat’

12-14 Small Group

1st: ‘Mini Skirt’

12-14 Large Group

2nd: ‘Epiphany’

12-14 Line

1st: ‘Go the Distance’

12-14 Victory Cup Champion

‘Mini Skirt’

15-19 Small Group

2nd: ‘My Way’

15-19 Large Group

2nd: ‘Hard Feelings’

15-19 Line

1st: ‘Look What You Made Me Do’

12 and Over Grand Line

1st: ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’

12 and Over Grand Line Victory Cup Champion

‘Bohemian Rhapsody’

Choice Awards:

11 and Under Choreography Award

‘Don’t Rain On My Parade’

12 and Over Choreography Award

‘Mini Skirt’

12 and Over Entertainment

‘Bohemian Rhapsody’

12 and Over Choreographer of the Year

‘Bohemian Rhapsody’

Discovery Spotlight

Mady Justin-’Fever’

Ava Geske-’Between Lines’

Sydney Foertsch-’Mein Herr’

[alexsfictionaddiction]

12 New Thrillers To Take You Through To Autumn

As the nights start to draw in, you may find yourself hankering after a chunky darker read to match the view outside. Maybe you’ve still got a cosy staycation on the horizon before the end of the summer and want to throw yourself down a twisty path of secrets and lies. I’m a magpie for good, page-turning mysteries and complex, well-written characters, so I wanted to share my favourite 2020 thrillers with you in the hope that you’ll find something intriguing. Enjoy and stay safe! -Love, Alex x

1. Dead To Her by Sarah Pinborough.

In the sun-soaked, wealthy social circles of Savannah, Georgia, Marcie Maddox has finally managed to establish herself as the centrepoint of this lavish, sumptuous world. Then her husband’s boss brings a beautiful new wife back from London and Marcie’s place in Savannah society begins to look a little precarious. How far will she go to maintain her position and keep the wandering eyes of her husband firmly on her? Flawed, unpredictable characters and curveballs everywhere, Dead To Her is a revenge thriller that incorporates sun, sex and superstition.

2. Invisible Girl by Lisa Jewell.

When vulnerable 17-year-old Saffyre Maddox goes missing, the entire Hampstead community have their own ideas about what happened to her. With local reports of sexual attacks on young women, Cate Fours, mother-of-two and wife of Saffyre’s former psychologist Roan, has her suspicions about Owen Pick, the odd single man who lives opposite them. Invisible Girl is unnerving, twisty and highly addictive with believable characters who you both suspect and empathise with. A unique, mind-fuck of a domestic suspense novel.

3. The Octopus by Tess Little.

Despite not having spoken for ten years, Elspeth is invited to celebrate her ex-husband Richard’s 50th birthday at his stunning LA mansion, so she is surprised to discover that there are just seven other guests in attendance. The next morning, Richard is dead and of course, everyone is a suspect. Including Richard’s pet octopus Persephone. This strange, heady mystery has strong Christie vibes and explores the haziness of memory, the horrors and repercussions of abusive relationships and the dangers of power.

4. Nothing Can Hurt You by Nicola Maye Goldberg.

When a student is killed, her boyfriend confesses citing temporary insanity. His acquittal rocks the community and everyone has questions, creating a relentless search of justice and explanation. Inspired by a true story, this riveting mystery reads like a collection of short stories, as we hear from a multitude of voices of varying degrees of closeness to the victim. Focusing on gendered violence and white privilege, it’s a very timely haunting read.

5. The Search Party by Simon Lelic.

Sadie Saunders has been missing for a week and the whole town thinks she is dead but her brother, boyfriend and three of her friends are determined to find out what really happened. However, the search party quickly takes a dark turn and all of them are under suspicion, when secrets gradually start to spill out. Stephen King-esque character dynamics and a completely unpredictable ending, The Search Party is a claustrophobic multi-layered mystery that will keep you hooked.

6. Imperfect Women by Araminta Hall.

Nancy Hennessey has been murdered and naturally, her two best friends Eleanor and Mary suspect her secret lover to be behind it. When the investigation turns up nothing, Eleanor and Mary each struggle to deal with their grief amidst questioning how well they really knew Nancy. Imperfect Women features highly frustrating characters and an intensely intriguing mystery with themes of motherhood and lifelong female friendship. A stark reminder that life rarely sticks to our plans for it and that we should learn to love our imperfections gives this dark story a glimmer of light.

7. You Let Me In by Camilla Bruce.

Reclusive writer Cassandra Tipp has disappeared and no one knows whether she’s dead or alive. She has left her huge fortune and a manuscript addressed to her niece and nephew, full of instructions to follow and the truth behind all of the gossip and rumours that have haunted her life. Elements of magical realism and Gothic horror thread through this gripping original and imaginative novel.

8. Heatstroke by Hazel Barkworth.

During a sweltering summer, 15-year-old Lily fails to come home one afternoon. Her English teacher Rachel’s daughter Mia is Lily’s best friend and Lily’s absence leads Rachel to confront some painful home truths. Thought-provoking and intense, Heatstroke follows a woman’s mental spiral and obsession, exploring mistrust and power in an atmospheric setting.

9. The Wives by Tarryn Fisher.

Despite never having met them, Thursday has always known that her husband Seth has two other wives. Then she finds something that suggests a very different narrative to her husband’s life than the one she thought she knew. Be prepared to be taken for a very twisty unsettling ride through the depths of a complex polygamous arrangement and everything that entails in this compulsively readable thriller.

10. The Other Girl by C. D. Major.

Set in 1940s New Zealand, Edith has been locked in Seacliff Lunatic Asylum for 15 years, since the tender age of five. When her entire ward burns down, a new doctor Declan Harris begins to question whether Edith’s childhood stories have any truth to them. This fascinating historical thriller offers a unique insight into the horrors and injustices within a broken mental health system and throws in a haunting Gothic vibe for added creep factor.

11. Keep Him Close by Emily Koch.

When Alice’s son Lou is found dead, Indigo’s son Kane is accused of his murder. In an attempt to find out why her boy died, Alice befriends Indigo, keeping her true identity a secret, as Indigo fights to clear Kane’s name. But how long can this secret stay buried? If you like a few tears mixed in with your domestic drama, Keep Him Close is the moving, tense and sensitive read for you.

12. The Silence by Susan Allott.

When the disappearance of a neighbour from decades ago yanks Isla out of her lonely Hackney life and back to her childhood home of Sydney, Australia, she starts to question everything she thought she knew about her family and community. Is her father really capable of the unspeakable? Do the secrets run deeper into the past than anyone imagined? Set across two time periods, The Silence is a literary debut that is dark and slow-burning with heartbreaking Australian history to feed your thoughts.

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

Jesse Williams imagine where you have feelings for eachother but get setted up by Ellen pompeo? X

Teeny Tiny Crush

Fandom: RPF, American Actor, Actor, Greys Anatomy,

Pairing: Jesse Williams x Reader

Characters: Jesse Williams, Reader, Y/N, Ellen Pompeo, Justin Chambers (Mention), Kevin McKidd (Mention),

Word Count: 1500 // Rating: Gen

Summary: We get by with a little help from our friends

Tags/ Warnings: Actors, OFC, Y/N, Reader, Ellen Interferes, Fake Backstory, Crushes, Friendship, CoStars, Reveal feelings

Notes: Sorry it took so long, tumblr stopped notifying me about my inbox

Ellen sat at the side of the soundstage and watched the scene she had just left continued to unfold. This season had been one of the best. The introduction of new characters had not only enhanced storylines but made for a better atmosphere on set as the cast gelled a lot more now certain troublemakers on set had been removed. One of the best things to come out of the new introductions was the love triangle story that had erupted chatter amongst fans as Jackson and Maggie faced a new threat, Camilla. Camilla was played by the gorgeous and talented Y/N. She was well liked amongst the cast particularly by a certain blue-eyed actor who had taken a shine to the young co-star. That was why the new storyline had taken off so well. It was because all the flirting and smittenness was real.

Of course, it wasn’t that simple.

To look at them you wouldn’t know what the problem was. They clicked right away. Jesse & Y/N were a great match, they were both smart, funny and gorgeous. He was one of the first ones to welcome her to the cast and make me feel like part of the team and since coming to the set she and he had spent so much time together. It was good. And there were moments when he looked at her, or they shared a joke that only they knew when she thought he liked her too. He knew she was single. But she wanted him to make the first move. She was ready for a new relationship but she didn’t want to rush him, he had not long since gotten out of a divorce. And he wanted to make a move but he couldn’t. This would be his first post-divorce relationship and it wouldn’t be as simple as dating used to be. After all, he didn’t just have to worry about him now, he had his kids to think of.

Ellen, of course, knew all of this. Jesse had been upfront with her about his feelings and though Y/N and she wasn’t that close at this moment in time women’s intuition told her that Jesse’s feelings were reciprocated. She watched the two of them acting aside each side of a gurney putting on a completely convincing flirtatious act. As she listened to the scene she had rehearsed a thousand times she started to think. She knew they liked each other. She knew they would never act on it thus making them both miserable. She wanted to fix it. But how?

As the scene wrapped and the actors headed to their trailers or waited for the setting of the next scene Ellen rose and followed Y/N to where she was heading.

‘Hey Y/N wait up,’ she hollered jogging to catch up, ‘you okay?’‘Yeah I’m good,’ Y/N replied with a smile as the two of them left the soundstage.‘Good scene today, huh?’ Ellen asked as a plan formulated in her mind.��Yeah, you were really good.’‘Thanks,’ she said. Not allowing the conversation to take a turn she hadn’t planned Ellen continued, ‘wanna go for a drink or two tonight? I feel like we haven’t gotten to know each other enough.’‘Yeah,’ Y/N murmured thinking for a second before she said, ‘sure why not. Anywhere in mind?’‘There’s a bar near my place we usually go, it’s called Georgia’s, it’s alright.’‘Okay about 8?’‘Perfect,’ Ellen said with a coy smile before she left Y/N’s side and turned in the direction of Jesse’s trailer.

*knock knock*

The metal door swung open and Jesse stood there looking down with a smile as he said, ‘Hey El.’‘Hey Jess,’ she replied following Jesse as he beckoned her into the trailer after him and sat down.‘What’s up?’‘Not much,’ Ellen said perching on the chair arm, ‘just wondered if you wanted to come out tonight?’‘Doing what?’‘Just thought some of the cast could hit the bar, y’know weekend hang and that.’‘Sure…who’s coming?’‘Erm,’ Ellen faltered, ‘Justin, Camilla, Kevin, Y/N and a few others I’ve not roped in yet.’‘Sounds good,’ he said, ‘what time?’‘8ish?’‘Perfect, usual spot?’‘Of course,’ she said, ‘look I’ll leave you be, I’ve got stuff to do anyway. See you tonight.’‘See you then,’ Jesse smiled as Ellen exited, hiding a smirk.

The bar was busy. Really busy, it was Friday night after all and the hustle and bustle of the people were enough to get lost in. When Y/N arrived there wasn’t much room to move but she was able to push straight through the crowd to the bar. She couldn’t see Ellen around and so she hopped up on the bar stool and ordered a drink waiting for her to arrive. Keeping her head down, so as to not draw the attention of boozy men who might try and hit on her, she stirred her drink with a straw and looked down at her phone, scrolling with her free hand. It was a few minutes before she felt a tap on the shoulder and turned expecting to see the beautiful blonde standing next to her but instead she was met by a stunning black man that made her heart race a little bit faster than before.

‘Hey,’ she said trying to hide the surprise in her tone.‘Hey,’ Jesse said completely nonplussed as if he expected her to be here before he waved at the bartender for a beer and sat down on the stool beside her, ‘you want another one?’‘Nah, I’m okay. I’m still finishing this,’ she said with a smile before sipping on her drink again. Feeling the alcohol course through her body she felt braver than normal and so didn’t stop herself from blurting out, ‘what are you doing here?’She clapped her hand over her mouth afterwards realising how abrupt it had come out causing Jesse to chuckle and then say, ‘I was invited?’‘Oh,’ Y/N said, ‘I didn’t know Ellen was inviting other people…I thought it was just us. Me and her I mean.’‘Oh,’ Jesse said, ‘she said that a few of us were meeting up…maybe she just invited you first. I think it’s a group thing, y’know unwind after a long week on set.’

‘Makes sense. I must have just got mixed up,’ she said. From there the couple of them fell into a deep conversation though they couldn’t stop themselves from checking the time every now and then. As half an hour passed and then an hour the two of them felt doubts begin to creep up until finally, Jesse said, ‘This is weird right?’‘Um…a little, where is everyone?’‘I don’t know, I’ll ring Ellen. Surely they shouldn’t be this late,’ he said as he picked his phone up off of the bar and dialled Ellen’s number.’It didn’t pick up but instead went straight to voicemail as Y/N listened to Jesse leave a brief message. Not two seconds after he placed his phone back down there was a ping and a message from Ellen.

‘Hey guys. Sorry for the no-show something came up. It’s just you two tonight.

Have fun ;) xo’

The two of them looked at it for a moment before gazing at each other before Jesse sighed and said, ‘I should’ve known.’‘What?’‘Nothing…’ he faltered, ‘El just flakes a lot that’s all.’‘But what about everyone else? Surely they don’t…’ she trailed off before she whispered, ‘you don’t think they did this on purpose?’Jesse looked at her confused before he said annoyed, ‘of course this was a setup, God, I should’ve known Ellen couldn’t be trusted with anything.’‘Wait what?’ Y/N said, a slight smile on her face as Jesse looked caught out and tried to backtrack over his exclamation.‘….nothing, nothing. It’s just never mind.’‘Oh C'mon! Tell me,’ Y/N said tugging on his sleeve with a beaming smile, ‘you know you want to.’‘Okay,’ he said taking a deep breath and a quick sip on his beer before he looked straight ahead, avoiding her gaze, ‘Ellen might have set it up for only us two to be at the bar because I might have a tiny, teeny crush on you.’‘What?’ she said not quite catching the end as his voice dropped so low it was almost unintelligible.‘I might have a teeny tiny crush on you, okay?’

‘Really?’ she said dropping the smile and looking away from him, ‘well it was very nice for Ellen to set us up. And really I understand I do-’‘It’s alright,’ Jesse sighed, ‘I get it if you don’t feel the same and Ellen shouldn’t have done this. She shouldn’t have interfered.’‘No, no, no,’ she said as he started to dole out his tab onto the bar and move from the chair, ‘she should have!’‘Why?’ he asked perplexed.‘Because I may have a teeny tiny crush on you too.’

[jofridapettersen]

a lot of times i might not answer asks but please don’t take it personally, i’m not always good at responding to things and i get overwhelmed and i have bad anxiety but just know that i read your suggestions and even if i don’t make a gif pack right away, i always go back and look through them to see if i get hit with muse.

if there’s any unfinished pack i’ve started that you’re interested in more gifs of, let me know!

COMMISSIONS PAGE HERE. NOT CURRENTLY ACCEPTING!

currently giffing:

fiona palomo in outer banks season 4

jessica alexander in fallen

MASTERLIST OF MY GIF PACKS THAT ARE ALREADY POSTED. (needs to be updated)

ABIGAIL COWEN IN WITCH HUNT.

ABIGAIL COWEN IN FATE: THE WINX SAGA

ALEYNA OZGECEN IN KIRLI SEPTI

ALYCIA DEBNAM CAREY IN SAINT X

ALVA BRATT IN A CLASS APART

ANTONIA GENTRY IN GINNY & GEORGIA SEASON 2

AISHA DEE IN THE BOLD TYPE

ASHLEY MOORE IN TRIPPED UP

AYCA AYSIN TURAN IN MERYEM

ARCHIE RENAUX IN THE OTHER ZOEY

ASHLEY MOORE IN MODEL SQUAD.

CAMILA MORRONE IN DAISY JONES AND THE SIX PART I

CAMILLA MORRONE IN DAISY JONES AND THE SIX PART II

CAMILLA MORRONE IN DAISY JONES AND THE SIX PART III

EMILY RUDD IN SEA CHANGE.

EVAN MOCK IN GOSSIP GIRL.

FELIX MALLARD IN GINNY AND GEORGIA.

FLORENCE PUGH IN BLACK WIDOW.

FREYA MAVOR IN SKINS SEASON 6

FROY GUTIERREZ IN INITIATION

HAFSANUR SANCAKTUTAN IN SON YAZ.

HAVANA ROSE LIU IN AMERICAN HORROR STORIES

HAVANA ROSE LIU IN THE CHAIR & THE SKY IS EVERYWHERE

JAN LUIS CASTELLANOS IN MARVEL’S RUNAWAYS

JAN LUIS CASTELLANOS IN BRIDGE & TUNNEL

JENNA ORTEGA IN SCREAM

JOSEFINE FRIDA PETTERSEN IN SKAM SEASON 4

JOSEFINE FRIDA PETTERSEN IN DOPAMIN PART II

JOSEFINE FRIDA PETTERSEN IN SO LONG MARIANNE

JULIA DALAVIA IN OS DIAS ERAM ASSIM

KAIA GERBER IN AMERICAN HORROR STORY

KAREN GILLAN IN ALEX AND THE LIST.

KIT CONNOR IN HEARTSTOPPER

LAURA HARRIER IN WHITE MEN CAN’T JUMP

LUCA HOLLESTELLE IN 48 MINUTES

LUCA HOLLESTELLE IN DE LUDWIGS

LUCA HOLLESTELLE IN DE LUDWIGS SEASON 4 HQ

LUCA HOLLESTELLE IN HEAT.

LUCY BOYNTON IN MODERN LOVE

MADELYN CLINE IN OUTER BANKSS EASON 2

MADELYN CLINE IN OUTER BANKS SEASON 3.

MADELYN CLINE IN OUTER BANKS SEASON 3 PART II

MADELYN CLINE IN GLASS ONION

MAYA HAWKE IN MAINSTREAM.

MAYA HAWKE IN STRANGER THINGS SEASON 3

MARGARET QUALLEY IN MAID SEASON 1 *work in progress

MAXENCE DANET FAUVEL IN LOVE DOSE AND THE DEVIL INSIDE.

MAXENCE DANET FAUVEL IN BESOIN D’ARMOUR

MIA GOTH IN INFINITY POOL

NATALIA DYER IN THINGS SEEN AND HEARD.

NATALIA DYER IN BASED ON A TRUE STORY

NICK ROBINSON IN SILK ROAD.

OZGE YAGIZ IN ICMIZIDEN BIRI

OZGE YAGIZ IN YEMIN AND SOL YANIM

PINAR DENIZ IN YARGI EP 9

PRISCILLA QUINTANA IN BASED ON A TRUE STORY

SADIE SINK IN TAYLOR SWIFT’S ALL TOO WELL

SAOIRSE RONAN IN FOE

SOPHIE SKELTON IN OUTLANDER

SYDNEY SWEENEY IN WHITE LOTUS

TATI GABRIELLE IN YOU SEASON 3

TAYLOR RUSSELL IN WORDS ON BATHROOM WALLS.

TYLER LAWRENCE GRAY IN WOLF PACK

VICTORIA PEDRETTI IN YOU SEASON 3 

WILLA FITZGERALD IN SAVAGE SALVATION

YASMIN FINNEY IN HEARTSTOPPER

[kiro-anarka]

El pasado lunes, Día de los Caídos en Estados Unidos, George Floyd suplicaba por su vida mientras Derek Chauvin, oficial de la policía de Minneapolis, le apretaba el cuello contra el pavimento con una de sus rodillas. “Por favor. Por favor. No puedo respirar, oficial. No puedo respirar”, jadeaba George Floyd, con sus manos esposadas detrás de la espalda. Los testigos del suceso le pidieron repetidas veces a Chauvin que aflojara la presión, pero el oficial siguió con la rodilla enterrada en el cuello de Floyd. Un devastador video de diez minutos registró este asesinato en cámara lenta, respiración menguante tras respiración menguante. Finalmente, el cuerpo inerte de Floyd fue bruscamente colocado en una camilla, cargado en una ambulancia y llevado al hospital, donde se declaró su muerte.

La indignación fue in crescendo a medida que el video se viralizaba. El hermano de George, Philonise Floyd, declaró a la cadena CNN: “Amo a mi hermano. Todos amaban a mi hermano… conocerlo es quererlo. Él gritaba ‘mamá, mamá, no puedo respirar’ pero no les importó. Realmente no entiendo lo que tenemos que sufrir en la vida. No tenían por qué hacerle eso”. El fiscal general de Minnesota, Keith Ellison, expresó en un comunicado: “Su vida era importante. Tenía valor… Vamos a buscar justicia y la encontraremos”. En declaraciones posteriores, Ellison agregó: “Lo que estamos tratando aquí no es un caso aislado, sino un problema sistémico. Y tanto la investigación como la acusación se están llevando adelante con el objetivo de llegar hasta las últimas consecuencias. Estoy seguro de que se están llevando adelante de manera competente. Pero eso no le pone fin al asunto. El despido de los agentes no le pone fin. El proceso penal que ha comenzado no le pone fin. El proceso de derechos civiles no le pone fin. Necesitamos un cambio sistémico, profundo y permanente”. El alcalde de Minneapolis, Jacob Frey, opinó tras el asesinato de Floyd: “Ser negro en Estados Unidos no debería implicar una condena a muerte”. Frey demanda el arresto de Chauvin y la familia de Floyd quiere que los cuatro oficiales sean acusados ​​de asesinato.

La reverenda Bernice King, una de las hijas del Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., publicó en Twitter una foto del oficial Chauvin con la rodilla apoyada sobre el cuello de Floyd al lado de una icónica foto de la estrella de la Liga Nacional de Fútbol Americano Colin Kaepernick hincado sobre una de sus rodillas en un campo de juego. El ex mariscal de campo fue expulsado de la Liga por arrodillarse durante el himno nacional en protesta contra la violencia policial y la injusticia racial. El texto que acompaña el tuit dice: “Si no te molesta o te molesta poco la primera rodilla, pero te indigna la segunda, entonces, en palabras de mi padre, estás ‘más consagrado al orden que a la justicia’. Y más apasionado por un himno que supuestamente simboliza la libertad que por la libertad de vivir de un hombre negro”.

Mientras las muertes por Covid-19 en Estados Unidos superan las 100.000, con un impacto desproporcionado sobre las comunidades de color, el asesinato y la violencia por parte de la policía contra personas de color, perpetrados con legitimación del Estado, continúan aparentemente sin tregua . El pasado 23 de febrero, en Georgia, Ahmaud Arbery fue asesinado a balazos por Travis McMichael y su padre, el policía retirado Gregory McMichael, tras salir a correr. El 13 de marzo la policía de Louisville, Kentucky, disparó ocho veces contra Breonna Taylor, causándole la muerte. Taylor era técnica en emergencia médica y tenía 26 años de edad. La policía irrumpió en su hogar en el medio de la noche, al entrar en el departamento equivocado cuando buscaban a un sospechoso que ya estaba bajo custodia.

Afortunadamente, no tenemos que agregar el nombre de Christian Cooper a esa trágica lista. Chris Cooper, afroestadounidense, se encontraba observando aves en el Central Park de Nueva York el Día de los Caídos cuando respetuosamente le pidió a una mujer que también paseaba por allí que siguiera las reglas del parque y le pusiera la correa a su perro. Ella se negó rotundamente, lo que lo condujo a grabar la interacción. La mujer llamó al 911 y le dijo a Cooper: “Voy a decirles que hay un hombre afroestadounidense que está amenazando mi vida”. Christian Cooper le envió el video a su hermana, quien lo publicó en las redes sociales, donde rápidamente llegó a 42 millones de reproducciones. Alguien identificó a la mujer como Amy Cooper (sin parentesco con Christian) y, como resultado de su reacción violenta, fue despedida de su trabajo y el refugio para perros le retiró su mascota.

Ibram X. Kendi, director fundador del Centro de Investigaciones y Políticas Antirracistas de la Universidad Americana, le dio contexto histórico a esta interacción durante una entrevista para Democracy Now!: “Lo que hizo Amy Cooper es un típico comienzo de violencia racista. Tenemos a una mujer blanca que utiliza como arma su privilegio de ser mujer y blanca. En lugar de resolver la disputa con la otra persona y seguir las reglas y ponerle la correa a su perro, se victimiza y llama a la policía, con esa proyección de víctima, para que la policía vaya y la proteja. A menudo, los policías realmente creen que esta mujer blanca está siendo amenazada por este presunto depredador afroestadounidense. Con demasiada frecuencia, esto lleva a que esa víctima desarmada resulte lesionada o incluso asesinada”. En 1955 un suceso similar condujo a la tortura y linchamiento de Emmet Till, de 14 años de edad.

El profesor Kendi lanzó “The COVID Racial Data Tracker”, un sitio web para documentar las disparidades raciales en torno a la letalidad de la pandemia, que afecta de manera desproporcionada a las comunidades de color. Los datos se están utilizando para desacreditar el argumento de que las personas de color se ven más afectadas por la Covid-19 por sus afecciones subyacentes. Kendi explicó: “Al menos hacia fines de marzo, y ciertamente a principios de abril, eran personas latinas, afroestadounidenses e indígenas estadounidenses las que se estaban contagiando y muriendo de forma desproporcionada. Llevó un gran esfuerzo de parte de los movimientos de base, que reclamaron que se expongan los datos raciales, empezar a constatar esto, porque los estados se negaban a verlo. El indicador de predictibilidad fundamental de las tasas de contagio y muerte en la población negra es el acceso a la atención médica, el acceso a seguro de salud, así como la contaminación del aire y del agua y el tipo de empleos. Todas estas determinantes sociales de la salud son indicadores predictivos mucho más fuertes en cuanto a las tasas de muerte y contagio en la población negra que sus afecciones subyacentes”.

Los afroestadounidenses representan el 13% de la población de Estados Unidos, pero han representado como mínimo el 25% de las 100.000 muertes por Covid-19 del país. La misma disparidad en la tasa de mortalidad prevalece entre los 5.000 estadounidenses asesinados por la policía desde 2015: los afroestadounidenses tienen el doble de chances de ser asesinados por la policía en comparación con los blancos. La violencia policial es una de las principales causas de muerte de los jóvenes de color.

La pandemia revela lo que los videos de teléfonos celulares y cámaras corporales han expuesto cada vez más y lo que las comunidades de color han sabido por mucho tiempo: el racismo está bien vivo en Estados Unidos y tiene consecuencias letales.

[laimabynight]

OC ABC ♡

A - Anastasia della Giordano / Angelina Cruz / Annotto Crowley / Ashkara Kathat / Amber Magdalene Dawson / Audrey Cordelia Redmond

B - Benoît Vaillancourt (Chester Dunsirn) / Blanca von Hallberg / Bethany 'Bassie' LaRue / Beladrin Halhadomarir

C - Camilla 'Georgia' Soledad / Cresentia 'Senta' Läufer / Clementine Sybil Montgomery

D - Devon Rowe / Donna Wang / Dorryen Whitestone / Draven Schwarzschatten / Marquis Donatien Jaques de l'Ostrove

E - Else von Sydow / Eugen Radetzky / Lord Ernest of Somersetshire / Estragon Heller / Endymiodes / Elvis Stalten / Eli Wilkinson / Edda ‚Die Bärin vom Odewald‘

F - Fernanda Salazar

G - Gjest Solheim / GUL

H - Helena 'Harvey' Fountain / Htut / Hank Cox

I - Ilya Lynnhardt of the Blue Iris / Dr. Ichabod Bellagamba

J - Jana Mirtschin / Jordan Bennett / Joan Olson / Jack Ramiro

K - Kasmeer Valorante / Killian Darkwater / Karl Eduard Nauditt (Karol Edward Naumowicz) / Kuzma Vitalijovych Bojchuk

L - Ljudmila Nikolaewa Sokolova / Ladislava von Koldov

M - Markus Abdiel / Mitena / Margarita D'aureville / Michelle Bader / Moby Liberman / Sister Mirona / María Ascunción Leguizamo / Miranda Kean / Mircea Eliadescu

N - Najara al-Kira ibn Sajida / Nathan Garcia / Nourin (Moitreyee) / Nikola Snyder

O - Oriana Vylmythe / Olga Klockar

P - Pallantia / Paige DeLuca / Parisa Keshmiri / Pavlo Stepanovych Makarenko

Q - Qingshan Ruan

R - Raffaele Giovanni / René Debussy / Rodion Michail von Blankenheim-Lebedjev / Revain ‚Petals-Swirling-Around-Body‘ / Rhiannon Evenbraid

S - Saya Kitsugo / Salvador Dolorosa / Salem Lotte Harlan / Solaris Tarkovisk / Shiverin' Shelley / Sofia Velasco

T - Tomoe Kuriyama / Tennessee Dixon / Tiago 'Tuco Velocidad' Garrido / Tamar Balabanian / Thames Donahue

U - Ulysses Elevander

V - Vendelín Rusciska / Vespuccio / Vito Massarelli

W - Weston McNamara / Walter E. Harlan / Werner Henkel

X - Xiǎo Dān Lín / Xylenea Octava

Y - Yatoth dex Selkasha / Yuka Hatake / Yvonne Ebert / Yoru Yanagi

Z - Zinnober / Zidanja Walsareff

[jessicakehoe]

According to Spotify, Drake is the Most-Streamed Artist of the Decade

Today Spotify revealed its annual roundup of the top songs, artists, playlists and podcasts of the year. Titled Wrapped, the list looks at the past 12 months of user data to determine who and what got the most streams. Seeing as we’re now in the last month of the 2010s, Spotify expanded their annual campaign to include A Decade Wrapped, “a look back examining the top music, podcasts, culture and streaming trends through the eyes of the fans, artists and creators who made it all possible.”

With more than 28 billion streams to his name, Drake is Spotify’s most-streamed artist of the decade. Also in the top five are Ed Sheeran (whose “Shape of You” is the most-streamed track of the decade), Post Malone (who is also the most-streamed artist of 2019), Ariana Grande and Eminem.

It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for: Here are the top artists, songs, albums, and podcasts of 2019 on Spotify. #SpotifyWrapped https://t.co/bMAnxEIGik

— Spotify News (@SpotifyNews) December 3, 2019

The second-most-streamed artist of the year after Post Malone is 17-year-old Billie Eilish. Her debut studio album, When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?, tops Wrapped’s most-streamed album category this year, making her the first female artist to do so. Ariana Grande was named the most-streamed female artist of the decade, with Rihanna and Taylor Swift following in second and third place.

Unsurprisingly, 2019’s top song is none other than “Señorita” by Shawn Mendes and Camilla Cabello, which saw more than 1 billion streams this year. The most-streamed songs in Canada this year include “Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee, “Bad Guy” by Billie Eilish, “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus, and “Wow” by Post Malone.

As far as podcasts go, the one show to appear on the Top 3 list in every Canadian province is My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark, which occupies either the number 1 or number 2 spot in every region. While comedy was the most-streamed podcast genre of 2019 globally, it’s clear that in Canada, the appetite for true crime is strong.

The post According to Spotify, Drake is the Most-Streamed Artist of the Decade appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

According to Spotify, Drake is the Most-Streamed Artist of the Decade published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/

[fashiontrendin-blog]

The 2018 VMA winners are here, with Camila Cabello winning BIG!

http://fashion-trendin.com/the-2018-vma-winners-are-here-with-camila-cabello-winning-big/

The 2018 VMA winners are here, with Camila Cabello winning BIG!

The MTV Video Music Awards AKA The VMAs is never short of a controversial winner – or two! That Taylor Swift/Beyoncé/Kanye West moment, anyone?! But as the great and the sassy of the music industry gathered at New York’s Radio City Music Hall last night, history had already been made.

MTV made headlines last year when it dropped gendered categories, meaning male, female, and nonbinary artists are now all up against each other in the same category.

Because of these changes, Best Female Video and Best Male Video awards are now combined into one category: Artist of the Year. Winning the inaugural award was noneother than Camilla Cabello.

Other big pre-show favourites, including Cardi Band Ariana Grande also didn’t leave empty handed alongside everyone’s favourite actor-come-singer, Donald Glover AKA Childish Gambino.

Here are the winners and nominees:

SONG OF THE SUMMER

Calvin Harris & Dua Lipa – “One Kiss” WINNER Cardi B, Bad Bunny & J Balvin – “I Like It” DJ Khaled ft. Justin Bieber, Chance the Rapper, Quavo – “No Brainer” Drake – “In My Feelings” Ella Mai – “Boo’d Up” Juice WRLD – “Lucid Dreams” Maroon 5 ft. Cardi B – “Girls Like You” Post Malone – “Better Now”

VIDEO OF THE YEAR

Ariana Grande – “No Tears Left to Cry” Bruno Mars ft. Cardi B – “Finesse (Remix)” WINNER Camila Cabello ft. Young Thug – “Havana” The Carters – “APES**T” Childish Gambino – “This Is America” Drake – “God’s Plan”

ARTIST OF THE YEAR

Ariana Grande – Republic Records Bruno Mars – Atlantic Records WINNER: Camila Cabello – Syco Music/Epic Records Cardi B – Atlantic Records Drake – YMCMB/Cash Money/Republic Records Post Malone – Republic Records

SONG OF THE YEAR

Bruno Mars feat. Cardi B, “Finesse (Remix)” – Atlantic Records Camila Cabello feat. Young Thug, “Havana” – Syco Music/Epic Records Drake, “God’s Plan” – YMCMB/Cash Money/Republic Records Dua Lipa, “New Rules” – Warner Bros. Records Ed Sheeran, “Perfect” – Atlantic Records WINNER: Post Malone feat. 21 Savage, “rockstar” – Republic Records

BEST NEW ARTIST (Presented by Taco Bell®)

Bazzi – iamcosmic/Atlantic Records WINNER: Cardi B – Atlantic Records Chloe x Halle – Parkwood Entertainment/Columbia Records Hayley Kiyoko – Atlantic Records Lil Pump – Warner Bros. Records Lil Uzi Vert – Atlantic Records

BEST COLLABORATION

Bebe Rexha feat. Florida Georgia Line, “Meant to Be” – Warner Bros. Records Bruno Mars feat. Cardi B, “Finesse (Remix)” – Atlantic Records The Carters, “APES**T” – Roc Nation/Parkwood Entertainment WINNER: Jennifer Lopez feat. DJ Khaled and Cardi B, “Dinero” – Epic Records/Nuyorican Productions Logic feat. Alessia Cara and Khalid, “1-800-273-8255” – Def Jam Recordings N.E.R.D and Rihanna, “Lemon” – i am OTHER/Columbia Records

PUSH ARTIST OF THE YEAR

JULY 2018 – Chloe x Halle – Parkwood Entertainment/Columbia Records JUNE 2018 – Sigrid – Island Records MAY 2018 – Lil Xan – Columbia Records WINNER: APRIL 2018 – Hayley Kiyoko – Atlantic Records MARCH 2018 – Jessie Reyez – Island Records FEBRUARY 2018 – Tee Grizzley – 300 Entertainment JANUARY 2018 – Bishop Briggs – Island Records DECEMBER 2017 – Grace VanderWaal – Syco Music/Columbia Records NOVEMBER 2017 – Why Don’t We – Atlantic Records OCTOBER 2017 – PRETTYMUCH – Syco Music/Columbia Records SEPTEMBER 2017 – SZA – TDE/Aftermath/Interscope Records AUGUST 2017 – Kacy Hill – Def Jam Recordings JULY 2017 – Khalid – RCA Records JUNE 2017 – Kyle – Atlantic Records MAY 2017 – Noah Cyrus – Republic Records

BEST POP

WINNER: Ariana Grande, “No Tears Left to Cry” – Republic Records Camila Cabello feat. Young Thug, “Havana” – Syco Music/Epic Records Demi Lovato, “Sorry Not Sorry” – Island Records Ed Sheeran, “Perfect” – Atlantic Records Pink, “What About Us” – RCA Records Shawn Mendes, “In My Blood” – Island Records

BEST HIP-HOP

Cardi B feat. 21 Savage, “Bartier Cardi” – KSR/Atlantic Records The Carters, “APES**T” – Roc Nation/Parkwood Entertainment Drake, “God’s Plan” – YMCMB/Cash Money/Republic Records J. Cole, “ATM” – Dreamville/Roc Nation/Interscope Records Migos feat. Drake, “Walk It Talk It” – Quality Control/Capitol Records WINNER: Nicki Minaj, “Chun-Li” – Young Money/Cash Money Records

BEST LATIN

Daddy Yankee, “Dura” – El Cartel Records/UMLE WINNER: J Balvin, Willy William, “Mi Gente” – UMLE/Republic Records Jennifer Lopez feat. DJ Khaled and Cardi B, “Dinero” – Epic Records/Nuyorican Productions Luis Fonsi, Demi Lovato, “Échame La Culpa” – UMLE/Republic/Island/Universal Music Latino Maluma, “Felices los 4” – Sony Music Entertainment US Latin Shakira feat. Maluma, “Chantaje” – Sony Music Entertainment US Latin

BEST DANCE

WINNER: Avicii feat. Rita Ora, “Lonely Together” – Geffen Records Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa, “One Kiss” – Columbia Records The Chainsmokers, “Everybody Hates Me” – Disruptor Records/Columbia Records David Guetta and Sia, “Flames” – Atlantic Records Marshmello feat. Khalid, “Silence” – RCA Records/Ultra Records Zedd and Liam Payne, “Get Low (Street Video)” – Interscope Records

BEST ROCK

Fall Out Boy, “Champion” – Island Records Foo Fighters, “The Sky Is a Neighborhood” – RCA Records WINNER: Imagine Dragons, “Whatever It Takes” – KIDinaKORNER/Interscope Records Linkin Park, “One More Light” – Warner Bros. Records Panic! at the Disco, “Say Amen (Saturday Night)” – Fueled By Ramen/Atlantic Records Thirty Seconds to Mars, “Walk On Water” – Interscope Records

VIDEO WITH A MESSAGE

WINNER: Childish Gambino, “This Is America” – mcDJ / RCA Records Dej Loaf and Leon Bridges, “Liberated” – Columbia Records Drake, ‘God’s Plan” – YMCMB/Cash Money/Republic Records Janelle Monáe, “PYNK” – Bad Boy Records/Atlantic Records Jessie Reyez, “Gatekeeper” – Island Records Logic feat. Alessia Cara and Khalid, “1-800-273-8255” – Def Jam Recordings

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

Alessia Cara, “Growing Pains” – Def Jam Recordings – Cinematography by Pau Castejón Ariana Grande, “No Tears Left to Cry” – Republic Records – Cinematography by Scott Cunningham WINNER: The Carters, “APES**T” – Roc Nation/Parkwood Entertainment – Cinematography by Benoit Debie Childish Gambino, “This Is America” – mcDJ / RCA Records – Cinematography by Larkin Seiple Eminem feat. Ed Sheeran, “River” – Shady/Aftermath/Interscope Records – Cinematography by Frank Mobilio and Patrick Meller Shawn Mendes, “In My Blood” – Island Records – Cinematography by Jonathan Sela

BEST DIRECTION

The Carters, “APES**T” – Roc Nation/Parkwood Entertainment – Directed by Ricky Saix WINNER: Childish Gambino, “This Is America” – mcDJ / RCA Records – Directed by Hiro Murai Drake, “God’s Plan” – YMCMB/Cash Money/Republic Records – Directed by Karena Evans Ed Sheeran, “Perfect” – Atlantic Records – Directed by Jason Koenig Justin Timberlake feat. Chris Stapleton, “Say Something” – RCA Records – Directed by Arturo Perez Jr. Shawn Mendes, “In My Blood” – Island Records – Directed by Jay Martin

BEST ART DIRECTION

WINNER: The Carters, “APES**T” – Roc Nation/Parkwood Entertainment – Art Direction by Jan Houlevigue Childish Gambino, “This Is America” – mcDJ / RCA Records – Art Direction by Jason Kisvarday J. Cole, “ATM” – Dreamville/Roc Nation/Interscope Records – Art Direction by Miles Mullin Janelle Monáe, “Make Me Feel” – Bad Boy Records/Atlantic Records – Art Direction by Pepper Nguyen SZA, “The Weekend” – TDE/RCA Records – Art Direction by SZA and Solange Taylor Swift, “Look What You Made Me Do” – Big Machine Records – Art Direction by Brett Hess

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

Ariana Grande, “No Tears Left to Cry” – Republic Records – Visual Effects by Vidal and Loris Paillier for Buf Avicii feat. Rita Ora, “Lonely Together” – Geffen Records – Visual Effects by KPP Eminem feat. Beyoncé, “Walk on Water” – Shady/Aftermath/Interscope Records – Visual Effects Supervisor Rich Lee for Drive Studios WINNER: Kendrick Lamar and SZA, “All The Stars” – TDE/Aftermath/Interscope Records – Visual Effects by Loris Paillier for BUF Paris Maroon 5, “Wait” – 222/Interscope Records – Visual Effects by TIMBER Taylor Swift, “Look What You Made Me Do” – Big Machine Records – Visual Effects by Ingenuity Studios

BEST CHOREOGRAPHY

Bruno Mars feat. Cardi B, “Finesse (Remix)” – Atlantic Records – Choreography by Phil Tayag and Bruno Mars Camila Cabello feat. Young Thug, “Havana” – Syco Music/Epic Records – Choreography by Calvit Hodge and Sara Bivens The Carters, “APES**T” – Roc Nation/Parkwood Entertainment – Choreography by Sidi Larbi Cherkaoui and Jaquel Knight WINNER: Childish Gambino, “This Is America” – mcDJ / RCA Records – Choreography by Sherrie Silver Dua Lipa, “IDGAF” – Warner Bros. Records – Choreography by Marion Motin Justin Timberlake, “Filthy” – RCA Records – Choreography by Marty Kudelka, AJ Harpold, Tracy Phillips, and Ivan Koumaev

BEST EDITING

Bruno Mars feat. Cardi B, “Finesse (Remix)” – Atlantic Records – Editing by Jacquelyn London The Carters, “APES**T” – Roc Nation/Parkwood Entertainment – Taylor Ward and Sam Ostrove Childish Gambino, “This Is America” – mcDJ / RCA Records – Editing by Ernie Gilbert Janelle Monáe, “Make Me Feel” – Bad Boy Records/Atlantic Records – Editing by Deji Laray WINNER: N.E.R.D and Rihanna, “Lemon” – i am OTHER/Columbia Records – Editing by Taylor Ward Taylor Swift, “Look What You Made Me Do” – Big Machine Records – Editing by Chancler Haynes for Cosmo

[852recordstores]

Taylor Swift - …Ready For It?

https://www.852-entertainment.com/product-page/va-now-volume-65-that-s-what-i-call-music-cd-2018

1 Taylor Swift / Ready for It? 2 Demi Lovato / Sorry Not Sorry 3 Camilla Cabello / Havana 4 J Balvin & Willy William Featuring Beyoncé / Mi Gente 5 Sofi Tukker Featuring Nervo, the Knocks & Alisa Ueno / Best Friend 6 G-Eazy Featuring A$Ap Rocky & Cardi B / No Limit 7 NF / Let You Down 8 Post Malone / I Fall Apart 9 Khalid / Young, Dumb & Broke 10 Calvin Harris Featuring Kehlani & Lil Yachty / Faking It 11 Selena Gomez X Marshmello / Wolves 12 Niall Horan / Too Much to Ask 13 P!NK / Beautiful Trauma 14 Hailee Steinfeld & Alesso Featuring Florida Georgia Line, and Watt / Let Me Go 15 Max Featuring Gnash / Lights Down Low 16 Marshmello Featuring Khalid / Silence 17 Sidibe / Unreachable 18 Jacob Sartorius / Skateboard 19 Olivia Noelle / Made of Gold 20 Eves Karydas / There for You 21 Phantoms Featuring Verite / Just a Feeling 22 Indian Trap Featuring Kresenzia / Look Like Monayyy

Release Date: 2 Feb 2018