#but ill keep it simple and say i do agree that we should not be upholding people who use their platform to celebrate genocide

[jovenshires]

hey girl, im not sure if you're aware of this, but noah is actively im defense of israel :// he had lied a lot of tweets a couple of weeks ago defending them and has since removed a lot of them, but hasnt spoken up in support of palestine yet :(( i just wanted you to know so you don't find yourself supporting someone with harmful views ://

i did not know that. thanks for informing me!

[isamoa]

“ WHAT GETS THEM HARD! ”

jjk men x f!reader ࿐ MDNI.

ᰔ、summary. jjk scenarios on how their dicks get hard ofc

ᰔ、tags. (ft. gojo, geto, toji, choso), nsfw, female anatomy, cunnilingus, exhibitionism, sexting, masturbation, etc.

ᰔ、a/n. these are just my silly depictions. if u dont agree idgaf lol

SATORU GOJO has the dirtiest mind and the highest sex drive. his pants definitely start feeling a little tighter at the sight of you eating a popsicle or something. specifically in public. he would have no shame in it either—casually forming a smirk on his face and dropping a snarky innuendo about the way you’re eating. “can you suck me off like that when we get home?” he’d mumble from across the table, his eyes peeking out from the top of his glasses, a smirk plastered on his lips; wet from the constant licking of his tongue. your eyes widen, a small ‘pop’ sounding from your mouth when you took the frozen sweet out to gasp at the man in front of you. “gojo! are you serious?” you’d yell in a whisper, looking around to see if anyone had heard him. “you’re right,” he’d sigh, standing up from his chair to reveal the very prominent and very obvious bulge in his pants. “we should just do it now.”

SUGURU GETO on the other hand is a polite man. like satoru, he’s a real freak in the sheets—but not as shamelessly. the littlest things can get him hard for sure, but unintentionally seeing your undergarments would really get him going. like an accidental peek at your panties from under your skirt, or a shirt thats a little too see-through showing off the print on your bra. he wouldn’t say anything of course, not right away. you would just be minding your own business one minute and then he’s dragging you towards the bedroom the next. “sugu- what are you-?” you would ask in a confusing tone, craning your head to look at the said man who was now behind you—pushing your stomach up against the countertop; a single hand brought up to grope your breast while the other laid flat against your hip. “your bra is showing.” he’d let you know blankly; an attempt to distract you while his hand slid it’s way into your pants. you would look down in response to his comment, noticing that your bra was in-fact showing like he said. unfortunately for him, you also already noticed the hardon pressed against your back.

TOJI FUSHIGURO gets hard from eating pussy. simple as that. he will get embarrassingly sloppy—juices coating his face and dripping down his chin, loving every second of it while his cock slowly grows harder. emphasis on grows. and if you think for a second that he does it for your pleasure, think again. this man will eat you out purely for his enjoyment only. his eyes are closed and his hands are squeezing at your thighs—legs thrashing uncontrollably from the uncomfortable pressure in his pants that’s about to come undone. “toji- let me help you.” you’d beg with a whimper, dragging your hand from the top of his head down to his cheek when you noticed the constant shuffling of his legs and the crease in his eyebrow. he’d laugh darkly, the breathy snicker creating a hum between your core that made a whine escape from your lips. “im fine mama,” he’ll say cockily, pulling a hand away from your leg to undo his zipper. “ill cum soon, you don’t gotta do ‘nun.”

CHOSO is a needy guy. his face will turn red at a simple flirty text—but send him a slutty pic and he might just cream his pants. fully naked or dressed in lingerie, his favorite or not, he will definitely feel some pressure down below. he might ignore you for a while, uncertain on how he should reply; if he’s even able to. “fuck- couldn’t wait till i got home, could you?” he’d whine quietly, trying his best to keep his voice down from the bathroom of his office job; one hand holding the phone up to his ear while the other rushed to unbuckle his belt. “sorry cho,” you’d apologize from the other line, voice rather faint as you posed for another picture to send him. “when are you coming?” you ask doubtfully just as his phone vibrates with another notification from your contact. “now- im comin’ now baby.” he replies with a huff, phone almost slipping from his ear. “really!?” you try to clarify—much more excited than the first time. “no, i mean im cumming. right now.”

[stuniolvs]

keep you safe

matthew sturniolo

in which matt snaps at you because he is having anxiety before a show.

(please leave requests!)

matt had begged you to go on his second tour with him. you two were a fresh couple during the last one and he absolutely hated it.

he just missed you like hell and didn’t want to do that again. so you agreed to go on this one with him.

it’s currently the second show and you loved going to the first one with him so you were excited about this.

you guys had been driving for most of the day before stopping the tour bus at the hotel then checking in and dropping off all our stuff then driving back to the venue. now just waiting in the tour bus until the triplets needed to go in.

you had noticed that matt seemed a bit off but you just figured it was because he didn’t get good sleep last night.

“hey baby are you excited?” you ask matt who was watching tv. “mhm” he sighs not breaking his gaze from the tv.

you entered the venue with various security guards around you and the triplets.

meanwhile matt was biting his nails feeling extremely stressed and anxious. he felt sweat prick at his hairline. he started doing some deep breathing as he entered his green room type of area to get ready.

you quietly sat on the floor backstage wanting to leave matt and his brothers alone to get ready.

nick entered the room first wearing a purple shirt and some jorts. “looking good nick!” you compliment “thanks babe, i gotta go check with the sound people so ill be back soon” you nod.

then matt enters backstage. he’s wearing a blue tshirt and jeans, simple, yet he still looks so pretty. “hey baby, you look g-“ “shut the fuck up! god you’re being so annoying!” he shouts quickly storming out.

matt felt panic rise in his throat.

shit. shit. shit.

he felt himself start to sweat as he’s breathing restricted. he tried to take deep breaths but they’d just get caught in his throat.

“matt?” you shout down the long hallway knowing something was up with him.

“i-i-i” he tries to yell but it comes out barley a whisper. luckily you heard him in their because it was fairly quit in the hallway cause nobody went down it unless they had to use the restroom.

you quietly open the door and the second you see him your heart tugs. he’s sitting on the ground with tears running down his face, sweating, and trying to breath.

“hey, hey, matty.” you slide down next to him. you pick up his hand and place it on your chest covered with a blue shirt. matt looks up at you with glossy eyes. you take deep breaths as matt try’s to follow “so sorry” he mutters three times through strangled breaths. “matt it’s okay” you cup his face and pull him into a kiss.

he quickly kisses back, putting his shaky hands on your waist.

after a couple minutes you pull back.

you speak before he gets the chance to, “matt what’s wrong?”

“i-i don't know.” he mutters “i-im so sorry baby, i d-dont know what’s wrong. i don't feel good.”

“its okay matty. i love you and if something is wrong, even if you don't know what it is, please tell me and i can help."

he takes a deep breath“i love you more and i promise i will.” he sighs “i have to go, we go on in 10” he groans.

“okay baby, win for me. i love you so much,” you say with an idea popping into your head. he kisses your nose. you run a paper towel under the sink and wipe his face with it. “i love you too baby.”

you walk him over to his brothers and you place a parting kiss on his lips with a “you look so amazing matty.” and a flushed matt enters the stage.

you walk over to you favorite security guard and speak to him. “hey, i have to go get some things for the triplets i should be back about 20 before the show ends, ill text you when im back.” “oh yes of course mrs.sturniolo, ill be there to walk you in when you text me.” he nods “thank you so much!”

you leave and stop by your favorite flower stand and get a bouquet for matt. then you stop by target and get candy and stuffed animals of their animals for each triplet. you leave and arrive back 16 minutes before the show is gonna end, holding a bag full of stuff.

you enter the backstage area seeing the triplets enter from the stage, all three of them sweaty.

matt glances around before landing on you before he jogs over to you “baby! baby! i won!!” he says holding up his medal.

“good job matt! here you go, there’s more stuff in here but they're for your brothers too so can you go get them?” you ask while handing him the flowers you look up at him after your rant and see a shocked matt staring at the flowers. “these are for me?” you nod aggressively. he looks up at you and places a soft kiss on you lips, slightly leaning because there’s a bag and flowers in-between you guys.

he pulls back, “thank you so much baby. i'll go get nick and chris.” he says placing a soft kiss on your nose.

when matt, nick, and chris are in front of you you hand them their candy and stuffed animals.

they all hug you thanking you.

"are we ready to go back to the hotel?” you ask “mhm,” chris says, he looks exhausted.

matt drives them back to the hotel and you all settle down in your rooms.

matt dumps a bottle of water in a cup and uses it to put his flowers in placing his stuffed shark next to you in bed. “to keep you safe.” he said

you smile and open your arms, he lays on your chest. “i love ya’ so much baby” he mutters “i love you matty.” you kiss his head.

[runningfrom2am]

cold nights // part twenty-nine

summary: you were back in the capitol, and you would be damned if you didn't try your hardest to make it worthwhile.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 4.2k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: ahh shit really hits the fan in this one oops

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist

"Coryo." You hum, knocking on your boyfriend's doorframe.

He looks up from his desk, smiling as he sees you standing in the door. You were still wearing what you had worn to class that day, a button up shirt he had bought for you with the orange skirt Tigris made, short and simple as if it was made by your own mother. It matched perfectly with his own mother's scarf that you always wore out, that was left draped over your shoulders. You were looking at him like you needed something, and it just made him light up.

"Love," He closes his book and stands up. "What do you need?" He asks, quickly pushing up his unstyled hair out of his face- the curls were beginning to come back, but they weren't quite as long as they once were. When he's with you, which is almost always, he makes a very conscious effort to keep it up and away from his face.

Your hands are tucked behind your back, nervously twisting your fingers. "Why must you assume that I need something?" You giggle.

"Because I know that look." He pokes your nose as he gets close enough to do so, now standing a foot away and looking at you expectantly.

"Okay, fine." You sigh. "I was wondering if you had any plans for Halloween."

"Hallo-what?" He asks, tilting his head at you. Your jaw drops.

"Halloween." You say again, wondering if it was possible he just misheard you.

He laughs, eyebrows raised in clear confusion.

"You don't know what Halloween is? You don't celebrate here?" You gasp.

"No, sorry."

"Oh my god, okay. Well, we must do something." You clap excitedly.

"Slow down, darling. You're gonna have to tell me what it is before I can agree." He chuckles, holding a hand out you to stop you before you got too excited.

"Okay, okay." You agree. "So, it's a holiday, similar to Christmas if you have that."

"Of course we have Christmas."

"How was I supposed to know?" You laugh. "Anyway, it's mostly for little kids, but still. Basically, on the last day of the month everyone dresses up in costumes of monsters or animals or different jobs- whatever you want, and the kids go knocking door to door and adults will give them treats."

"Treats." He states, but it comes out more like a question.

"Yes. Like cookies, or candy if you have it, really anything." You grin, nodding at him excitedly. "My Ma usually makes fudge."

"Okay..." Coryo laughs. "So... sorry, I'm confused. What do we do? Hand out candy to kids who won't come because no one's heard of it here?"

"That's the best part!" You clap. "We aren't parents; old enough to be stuck handing out candy, and we aren't young enough to go trick or treating, so we get to have the most fun."

"Okay..." He urges you on.

"We get to have a party!"

"A party." He eyes you a little bit skeptically.

"Yes!"

"Since when do you like to party?" He seems wholly unconvinced.

"I don't, but it's tradition! I always have fun, I just don't drink much anymore. It'll be good to make friends, Coryo. Please?"

"Anymore?" He laughs, but quickly shakes his head to stay focussed on what you were asking of him. "Love, I wish we could but I don't know where we'd have a party, we can't have it here."

You frown, thinking for a moment. "Oh! I'll call Sej." You grin, already bounding off down the hall toward the phone.

That was that, he couldn't change your mind even if he desired to- but really, if a party would make you happy, then you would get a party. He would make sure of it.

You had spent weeks handing out invitations to the other people in your classes, most of which, as you noticed, ended up in the trash cans or littering the halls. You didn't let it bother you, Coryo insisted that people just didn't tend to hold on to those kinds of things and it didn't mean they wouldn't come. (What you didn't know, was his near-constant cleanup efforts of asking anyone he knew or had classes with to come to his "costume party"- and people didn't like to say no to Coriolanus Snow.)

You had come up with a plan. Coryo would say it was his party, and he would be hosting it at the Plinth's estate. You couldn't run the risk of putting your name on the idea, especially after your interview assuring parents that you were just there to learn- not fraternize. You didn't mind, you knew more people would want to come if it was his party, and that it wasn't a "Halloween" party. Just a costume party that happened to land on the district holiday that none of these kids nor their parents knew about. Hopefully.

You were incredibly excited. You spent the days after Sejanus's parents left town over there making decorations, and begrudgingly, Coryo joined you after realizing you weren't only there to drop things off.

He never pictured himself spending so much money on orange and black coloured paper, but here he was. The list of things he would do for you is growing by the day, surprising even himself.

You had put a lot of time into your costumes, with Tigris's help over the last couple of weeks. It wasn't anything crazy, just a white dress and some small angel wings, and for Coryo a gray shirt with leather straps, some light chain mail on the shoulders, and silver sleeves. You were very proud of them, but you hadn't shown him yet. You would be Romeo and Juliet, and you thought it was just perfect.

You smile as you knock on his bedroom door, already in your costume. You would get there a little early to help Sejanus with some final touches, but you did have a lot of people confirm with Coryo that they were coming. You were excited.

He opens the door, his breath dying out in his throat as he takes in your outfit. He must have died and gone to heaven. "Well hello, angel." He grins as he regains himself, opening the door fully for you to come in.

"Do you like it?" You ask, giving a quick spin even as you're holding his matching costume behind your back.

"You look beautiful." He says quietly, nodding as he eyes how the white satin clings to your figure. He couldn't think of a more fitting costume for you; although to him, you always looked like an angel. But now, more beautiful than ever. Ethereal. "It's stunning, love."

"Thank you!" You smile, pulling his forward and holding the folded mix of fabrics up to him. "This is yours."

"Mine?" He asks, a confused smile on his face as he grabs it and unfolds it carefully. "What is it?"

"You're a knight!" You say, clapping your hands together excitedly. "Well, you're Romeo as a knight. And I'm Juliet." You grin, holding the hem of your dress and prompting him to look at it again.

"Romeo and Juliet." He chuckles, nodding slightly as he looks between the two.

"Yeah!" You smile excitedly. "Romeo! Here's drink. I drink to thee."

He laughs, nodding as he closes the door behind you and pulls off his shirt to put on the costume you made for him. "I love it, Y/N/N. Thank you."

"Of course." You nod excitedly. "I've always wanted to do a couples costume."

"Is that a thing?" He asks, getting ready to pull it over his head.

"Yes. It's so sweet! Couples will wear matching costumes and that's how you know they're together, I always loved looking at other peoples." You explain. "My parents always do matching costumes. One year, they both dressed up as cats. My mom made the ears out of felt, and they carried Tybs to the door with them to hand out candy. It was so cute. Like I said, they do matching costumes every year."

In your rambling, you don't notice how he freezes up completely, face falling. Hesitantly, he pulls it over his head. "How do I look?" He asks, gluing a smile back on.

You smile, nodding at him. "So handsome, Coryo." You confirm. "Tigris helped me make it."

"It's... a little uncomfortable." He tells you, pretending to adjust the light chainmail that hung over his chest.

You frown, reaching out to help him adjust it for a moment. "Is that better?"

He hates to do this- it fits perfectly, but he can't have people knowing you're together. Not yet. "Uh..." The hopeful look in your eyes breaks his heart. "Yeah, that's better." He nods, relieved by the smile that returns to your face.

"Are you ready to go, then?" You ask, tilting your head at him.

"Just give me ten minutes, love. Would you mind gathering up our drinks?" He asks, kissing your forehead.

"Of course, Romeo." You giggle, turning on your heel and leaving, closing the door gently behind you.

He hates himself for what he knows has to do.

When you got to Sejanus's house, you were practically vibrating with excitement as you ran around hanging up decorations and placing and replacing drinks and snacks on the tables, moving them around.

"Sej?" You ask, standing on a stool to be able to reach up above a doorframe.

"Yeah?" He calls back from across the room, turning to look at you.

"I'm out of tape, could you grab me another roll? We brought some, it's in the kitchen. Coryo will tell you which bag." You explain and he nods, giving you a quick thumbs up as he walks by and down the hall. 

Walking into the entrance to the kitchen, his eyes go wide.

There's Coryo, holding out the front of his shirt over the sink and pouring a glass of red wine down the front. Extremely, very intentionally.

"Uh... what are you doing?" He asks, and Coryo's head snaps up, eyes panicked.

"Uh, shit, I..." He laughs slightly, placing the glass down quickly and turning on the tap. "I tripped and, god I don't really know. I'm just trying to get this out..."

Sejanus nodded slightly, trying to hide how unconvinced he was. "I don't know if that will come out." He states.

"Shit..." Coryo sighs, albeit dramatically. If Sejanus hadn't just seen him do what he just did, he would be convinced. Coryo would make a good actor. "Well... Do you have something else I could wear?"

"Yeah... uh, yeah. Just go into my closet and help yourself." Sejanus tells him, gesturing down the hall.

"Thanks," Coryo says, brushing past him eagerly all ready to go and change into something else.

Your friend swallows, watching him as he disappears down the hall. Sejanus knew you had spent hours putting together that costume for him, could he even tell you that he saw Coryo ruin it on purpose? It would break your heart- but he did really want to know why.

Sejanus couldn't tell you. You were having fun, or at least trying to, and he didn't want to ruin that. People were talking to you, and to him, which was kind of new territory for the both of you. Your interview and your kindness in classes and to everyone you met did wonders for your reputations as "District kids". Surprisingly, your classmates had lots of questions and none of them seemed to have any real problems with you in a less pressurized setting. The alcohol was likely a contributing factor.

"Yes! Well, we'd go to the lake a lot. Oh! So, one time, my brother and I spent all day dragging this old barrel up a cliffside just to hang it off a tree at the top. We just spent our time doing the most random stuff." You giggle over the music, clutching your glass to your chest as you continue on a conversation with Hilarius, who you saw as a new friend even though Coryo wasn't his biggest fan. You had probably a little bit too much to drink, spurred on by your nervousness.

"A barrel..?" Hilarius laughs, tilting his head at you. 

"Well, yeah, what kind of stuff did you do for fun, then?" You ask over the loud music.

"Chess, I suppose. Reading, I don't know. Fun wasn't really on the schedule." He explains.

"Well, I'd rather drag a barrel up a hill than do nothing, wouldn't you?" You laugh.

"Touché." He tilts his glass at you before taking a sip.

"Y/N, can I steal you for a second?" You hear Sejanus say in your ear, suddenly beside you and you nod, politely dismissing yourself from the conversation.

You follow him down the hall to an empty corner. He couldn't take it anymore, he had to tell you. "I'm sorry about Coryo's costume, I know you worked hard on it." He says honestly.

"It is okay. Spills happen." You smile.

"Well, yes..." He agrees, looking around quickly to make sure he can't spot Coryo's blonde hair in the vicinity. It was a rare moment he wasn't with you, so now was his only shot. "But... it wasn't an accident."

"What do you mean?" You ask, tilting your head at him with a slightly nervous smile.

"Y/N I... I watched him pour the wine on it. Like, very intentionally."

You don't know what to say, slightly shocked. After a moment of him watching your expression evolve, you begin to laugh. "No, no. Sej, I love you, but how much did you drink before we got here? Because he wouldn't-"

"Nothing." He answers shortly, giving a firm shake of his head. "Not a drop, Y/N/N. I swear."

Your smile fades slightly at his abrupt statement. "Well..." You say quietly. "Why would he do that?"

"I don't know, but I know better than to be the one to bring it up to him. You should ask."

"I mean, he said it wasn't very comfortable before we left the house. Maybe he just didn't want to hurt my feelings." You smile to yourself, nodding as you decide.

"By ruining something you made for him? Yeah, that'll spare your feelings." Sejanus scoffs, looking past you once more to make sure Coriolanus wasn't nearby.

"He tried to spare them, I assume." You sigh, giving him a reassuring smile in hopes that he won't let it worry him. "It's okay. Thank you, Sej, for telling me, but it's really not a big deal."

The knowledge that Coryo ruined his costume on purpose was eating you alive. The feeling of dread sat deep in your chest where it apparently couldn't be drowned out with more wine or posca or anything that you could find or was offered to you. It made you so horribly sad, that even though you couldn't seem to find your boyfriend in any room of the large house you weren't sure if you even wanted to.

Talking to strangers helped, meeting new people. Some people you shared classes with, and you could mostly discuss that. It was a lot of explaining and reexplaining that people in the Districts were more or less normal, just with less access to resources. You got a few laughs out of that, but a surprising amount of understanding nods. Maybe all hope wasn't lost.

You were here to have fun. It wasn't like Halloween parties back home, and the sheer volume of boys in their own father's old peacekeeper uniforms was chilling to you. Even back home, where you knew those old uniforms were lying folded up in an attic somewhere, very few kids would dare touch them even to make a joke out of it. You couldn't take it anymore, deciding to just step out onto the back patio to get some fresh air.

The air hits your lungs and brushes over your skin, instantly giving you chills but you don't mind. Hearing talking over to your right, you take a look only to see Coryo with a few of your classmates, smiling as he leaned back against the wall of the house. A couple of faces you recognized, and one you didn't.

You smile as you walk over to them, squeezing in next to Coryo. "Clemmie, Livia. It's good to see you." You smile at them, and Clemmie gives a polite nod while Livia just takes another sip out of her glass while the other boy with them just continues talking.

"I don't believe we've met, sorry." You smile at him during a break in his story, extending a hand to him. "My name is Y/N. What's yours?"

He laughs, hesitantly shaking your hand. "Festus. Festus Creed." He tells you.

"Lovely to meet you, Festus." You grin. "Are you a friend of Coryo's?"

"Yeah, you could say that." He chuckles and you look up at your boyfriend who suddenly looks annoyed, rolling his eyes.

"I just love meeting his friends." You smile excitedly. "Are you studying at the university? I haven't seen you before." You say, folding your arm around Coryo's and he tenses up, not so subtly shaking you off.

You look up at him for a moment, a confused smile on your face from his actions.

"Would you mind giving me some space?" He asks coldly, almost glaring at you. Your eyes flick to his, but it's dark. They're cold, icy blue even in the poor lighting. His cheeks are flushed, but maybe that's from the chill.

"Oh, sorry." You laugh nervously, taking a step back and abandoning your conversation. "I... um, I'm gonna go get some water. It was nice to see you." You wave quickly to his friends, turning and heading for the door.

"Sorry, apparently my tribute gets touchy when she drinks." You hear Coriolanus laugh behind you as you enter the house again. It was met by laughs from the rest of the group he was with, and your heart dropped practically out of your chest and onto the floor. You wouldn't have been shocked if you looked down and saw your white dress absorbing the remains of your heart.

Your white feather angel wings catch on the curtain of the door as you close it behind you, and you want to scream and rip them off as you feel tears well up in your eyes. You look around for your best route of escape, feeling the familiar tightness in your chest begin to build.

You'll have to go along the wall- clinging to the outside of the room as you avoid the chaos of the middle in an effort to make it up to Sejanus's room. You'd be alone there.

Tears stream down your cheeks as you keep your head up, eyes locked on the entrance to the foyer with the large staircase, which you know you can take to get to your friend's room. Your fight or flight is kicking in, you think, as the music and laughter and voices fade into nothing. You almost expect the familiar clang of a metal weapon to sound out in front of you as it slams into the wall- but you have to make a very conscious effort to remind yourself that you aren't in the arena anymore. Even if it felt like it more and more with every step.

Shutting the door to Sejanus's bedroom, you quickly shuffle over to his bathroom and lock yourself in, freezing when you catch a look at yourself in the reflection. She was hardly a reflection of you; tear-stained cheeks, angel wings- when you knew that these days you were just about the farthest thing from it. You had changed. You hardly recognized her, and that's the thing that forced you to look away.

You don't even hear someone enter the room until there's knocking on the bathroom door. "Y/N? Are you in there?" Lyssie asks, concern dripping through her tone.

You sniff, quickly wiping your eyes. "Yeah! Yeah, I just need a moment." You choke out, trying and failing to keep your voice steady.

"Are you okay?" She asks through the door, wiggling the handle now. "What happened?"

"I'm fine just fine." You insist, laughing nervously as you look down at how badly your hands are shaking.

"Can I come in? Can you open the door for me?"

God, how you wished it was Lucy Gray on the other side.

But Lucy Gray isn't here. Lysistrata Vickers is all you have- so with shaky hands you reach for the door and unlock it, letting her in. She won't hurt you, you're sure.

Her eyes are already wide with worry as she gets her first glimpse at you. "Oh, Y/N, what's wrong?" She asks, stepping in and quickly closing the door behind herself. "Here, sit down..." She nods to the floor, which has clearly been recently cleaned. Even so, she pulls a towel from the rack and lays it out for you to sit on.

"I'm just a little too drunk." You sniff, trying to dismiss her worries, and slide down against the wall on top of the towel she laid for you as sobs take over you.

"Want to tell me what happened?" She asks again, hurriedly reaching for a smaller towel and wetting it with what you assume is cold water, wringing it out before joining your side on the floor.

"Nothing." You shake your head and bring your hands up to cover your face as you cry into them. "I can't... I can't tell you."

"Okay, that's okay..." She soothes you. "Here, this will help. Can you move your hands for me?"

She doesn't want to touch you, no one really does. You lower your hands, squeezing them tight together in your lap as she carefully reaches up to dab the cloth across your forehead. It does feel good on your burning skin.

You focus on taking deep breaths, trying not to embarrass yourself any further.

"There you go..." She smiles. "You're good at this."

You laugh through your tears. "Well, it comes with my title, I guess." You sniff, wiping your cheeks again.

"I'd bet..." She hums. "But you're doing great."

You just nod slightly, running through lines in your head out of nervous habit. "I love him, oh, I love him; but he won't let himself be loved."

You don't even realize you're saying it out loud to yourself until Lysistrata speaks. "Is it... Is this about Coriolanus?" She asks, and you don't want to tell her that it's a quote from a story of her namesake because ironically, she is right, and ironically, that was the only line you could think of when you strained to remember any of it.

You nod slightly, biting into your lip and letting your shoulders shake with the latest round of sobs.

"Oh, I'm sorry..." She gently rubs your shoulder. "He's... He's not very sensitive to people's feelings. I know that. Just try not to take it personally. It's not your fault."

"How could it be anyone else's?" You sniff. "I embarrass him... But I try so hard to be good. I try so hard..." You cry, wet eyes making it hard to see.

Lyssie looks at you, a little confused. "What did he say?" She asks.

"That..." You hiccup, trying to breathe through it so you can explain better. "That I needed to give him space, all I was doing was standing next to him." You sniff again, wiping your eyes. "And he called me his tribute to his friends- it made me feel just sick... And earlier Sej told me that he ruined the costume I made him on purpose, we were supposed to match! Now I just look like I'm desperate for people to like me- dressing up as an angel when everyone here knows what I did! I don't know what I did wrong... Why does he hate me now?"

She watches you silently, trying to put together the pieces. 

"I don't understand." You say again, shaking your head. "He told me he loved me this morning! I don't know what I did to change that..."

"Sorry, he said he loved you?" Lyssie asks, eyes wide.

You nod slightly, looking over at her. Why does she seem so shocked?

"Wait, Y/N..." She pauses, shaking her head slightly. "Are you guys like... together?"

"Mhm." You swallow, wiping under your eyes. "But apparently not anymore."

"Oh my god, I had no idea." She stammers out, snapping out of her shock to pat the cloth on your head again.

"You didn't?" You sniff. "He didn't tell you?"

"No." She shakes her head, but quickly continues. "I'm sorry, he doesn't tell much to anyone, though..."

You let out a shaky breath, leaning your head back against the wall. "I should have known this couldn't work. I feel so stupid."

"He shouldn't have led you on like that..." She replies quietly. "I don't know a whole lot about you, but I know you're not stupid. I also know that Coriolanus always gets what he wants, one way or another."

"I just want to go home..." You cry, shaking your head. "I want to go home."

Lyssie looks back to the door, gently dabbing the damp material across your forehead. "I'm going to go get Sejanus, okay? Can you hold this on your head for me?" She carefully passes the cloth into your shaking hands and you nod, leaning your head down against it instantly.

She gets up and leaves, carefully and quietly closing the door behind herself. If one person in this city knew even a little bit about what you were feeling or how to help, it would be Sejanus Plinth.

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okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!

also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)

[rattlyglitch]

Help Found in Far Away Dreams

(The final chapter. Also bold in the first two chapters have been changed from Malificent's voice to Meleanor's)

Malleus knew he deserved the darkness that seemed to appear in the fae's eyes. It was his fault that Silver had fallen ill. No one was truly to blame but him. Nightmares would surely come with this day because the pain that Lilia displayed behind eyes of anger was sorrow deeper than Malleus could fathom. He could only reply with a simple and truthful answer. "Yes."

Those words seemed to break something inside of Lilia. Malleus had expected the Lilia to lung at him and began a brutal attack but instead, the general began to break down sobbing. It was a deep painful sob that was unhollow and revealed how heavy the pain Lilia truly felt was.

Malleus would have hugged Lilia and tried to comfort him but in that moment any deed to try to help would only do far greater damage than good. So Lilia sat hugging himself sobbing and mumbling something. Malleus wasn't sure how long had passed until the sobs of Lilia came to an end and he looked at Malleus with eyes of sadness.

"Why?"

It was a question that Malleus knew he hadn't prepared for. One he wasn't sure how to answer and couldn't besides telling the truth. "I was jealous. Jealous that he had taken all your time. But that feeling faded as I sang to him. There is then no reason why he should be cursed but he is." Whatever curse had befallen Silver was a painful one determined to kill. It had attacked through sickness. One of the most torturous ways to die. Malleus looked at Lilia.

"I have been trying to heal him though. I have spent my time trying to find some way for the curse to leave him while also keeping it at bay with a sleeping spell that keeps him in a permanent state. His body can't grow worse but there is also no way for it to grow better. Even with the spell not cast Silver would have stayed the same but more likely decreased in health."

Lilia turned his gaze towards Silver and gently placed a hand over his. "Have you found anything?" Malleus looked towards the window that was in front of him and Lilia. "I have not. But there is a possibility there could be something within my castle if we go there." The hand Lilia had on Silver's seemed to tighten. "I am not leaving him Malleus. Not in this state."

The answer given was one Malleus expected. That was why he hoped the response he gave would be more satisfying. "We can bring him to the castle with us. I can arrange for an area of the castle to be off-limits to all who work within it. There we can keep Silver." Lilia began to gently stroke his son's hand. "I…can agree to that but before we leave I have one final question." Malleus turned his gaze to Lilia. "What is it?" Lilia moved his hand away from Silver's and looked to Malleus.

"What will you do if Silver dies?"

////////////////////

The question weighed on Malleus's mind as he and Lilia headed to his castle. How was he supposed to answer a question that had a very deep presence to it? Malleus had planned to answer by saying Silver surely wouldn't die and they would find a cure. But that was only a hope that could never happen. Silver wouldn't die if he was under the sleeping spell Malleus had placed on him but the magic could only last for so long and sleeping was surviving not thriving.

It was just a way to keep one young and forever in a moment. No one could forever stay in a moment even if it was one of their happiest or best. Upon arrival at the castle, Malleus led Lilia to a tower and instructed that no one enter it. Lilia who had been carrying Silver on his back gently placed him on a bed that was in a room at the top of the tower. He Carefully tucked Silver in before looking at Malleus.

"Bring me every book on spells and curses you can find or at least most of them. Once you do please leave me be. Search through whatever books you kept and besides that, I have one job for you Malleus." The fae prince waited for the instruction that Lilia was to give to him. "Guard this tower with your life. No one is to get to Silver." Malleus bowed to Lilia. "As you wish."

He left the tower and headed to the library. Throughout ten trips he brought Lilia half of the books and spells and curses. "If you by chance finish these tell me. I shall bring you more and double-check the ones you read in case." Malleus knew that Lilia would be up long throughout the night and most likely whatever nights may follow.

The older fae gave a small nod and took towards the books beginning to look through them. Malleus left him be and headed to the bottom of the tower that connected to the castle. Throughout the week of searching he and Lilia both did it seemed like nothing could be found.

Thorns had begun to grow around the tower that Silver abided in that stretched far beyond how they should each new vine seemingly deadly and far larger than the last. Books had been checked and double-checked. Malleus decided that after nothing seemed to be appearing to approach Lilia. When Lilia was found he looked seemed to be experiencing all the emotions of grief. Malleus believed that he had most likely been crying before he entered the room.

"Lilia I have a proposition." The father looked up at Malleus with eyes that were pleading. "If we go and see my grandmother she may have an answer on how to help Silver." As soon as the words were spoken Malleus wasn't sure whether to regret them or not. Lilia's response to the question was getting harshly grabbed by the collar of his shirt and pushed against the nearest wall.

"That woman will come nowhere near my son!" Malleus grabbed Lilia's forearm. "Let go please." He wasn't sure what had changed but Lilia whose eyes had gone red and fangs extended seemed to cower away a look of shame and sadness on his face as he let go of Malleus. "I'm so sorry Malleus. I'm so sorry."

Tears began to run down Lilia's face as he looked at the prince. Malleus reached out a hand to Lilia but the fae flinched away. "You have done me no harm, Lilia. I have no transgressions against you. Your anger was reasonable but now I need you to please just consider what I asked. I know what my grandmother is like but we can't not try because of her personality. Everything we do in this moment is for Silver."

Lilia seemed uncertain still but at least seemed to be thinking over what Malleus had said the fae prince knowing so when he heard Lilia mutter "For Silver". Lilia wandered over to Silver and gently brushed some hair out of his face. He looked lost in thought as he absently played with Silver's hair while gently humming to his son.

It was the same song Malleus had changed which sealed the fate of Lilia's son. Once the song had finished Lilia looked at Malleus. "Are you sure there is nothing else you can do?" The option Malleus had given Lilia still seemed to cause him trouble.

"I am sure there is nothing else Lilia." The older fae sighed. "Let us leave then." Lilia picked Silver up carefully and together the three of them headed for the castle of Queen Maleficia.

///////////////

The trip to the castle which Malleus' grandmother abided in was quick. Malleus and Lilia had opted to use teleportation to arrive at the castle instead of journeying. The only problem was that by doing so took a toll on the three of them. Teleportation was easy but it made it to where your body would feel the effects as if you had made the trip to where you were headed. Malleus's magic ended up falling and it seemed like Silver had grown worse.

His fever remained the same but his breathing felt almost nonexistent. Both Lilia and Malleus had panicked trying to check over to make sure Silver was still breathing. After they had found out he was Malleus was quick to put the sleeping spell over him again before he spoke. "Let us head into the castle." Malleus led the way and Lilia followed behind. Guards awaited them but Lilia was quick to charm them and make them move aside.

"It may be best to cover Silver. We wouldn't want to frighten the castle staff and you can only charm so many people Lilia." Malleus grabbed a cloth from a table that was inside the castle and offered it to Lilia. "I don't wish to hide him from her. She must face a human whether she wishes to or not." Malleus looked at Lilia. "But his safety-"

"Is something important to his father still?"

Malleus and Lilia both looked up surprised and saw Malleus's grandmother. Lilia as best he could bowed slightly to Queen Maleficia. " General Lilia you may rise." Lilia rose and looked towards the Queen. "Do you know why we are here?" Queen Maleficia looked at Silver who rested in Lilia's arms. "To help cure a curse that has been put upon your child of man?"

Lilia looked at Queen Maleficia with hope in his eyes. "Is it possible you can help him? I beg of you, please. I shall do anything you wish if you do." Queen Maleficia held her hand up to Lilia. "I do not need your pleas. It may not be my comfort to help you but you have raised my grandson and followed any orders I have requested you carry out. The best way I can show I appreciate your loyalty is by helping you. Know this though no one shall know of this. Now follow me."

Lilia and Malleus both hurried after the elderly fae who led them to a large library. She began to search around and picked up a simple book. It was small in size and seemed almost childish. "Curses such as the one placed upon the child of man are strange and ancient. They seem ridiculous sometimes but enough so that it is best to hide them away in the books of children." Malleus was confused but looked at the book presented to him by his grandmother. "The Sleeping Beauty?" Queen Maleficia nodded.

"The newest version of the story is bland and not as monstrous as the version I hold in my castle but the story remains the same. The princess is cursed but a counter spell may be made against it. Such as the one you have been using on the child of man currently. Sleep that keeps the victim from death. The cure to the curse in the more kinder version of this story was simple. A kiss of true love.

True love doesn't need to come from a lover to say though. It can come from that of someone who truly loves them. Though I don't doubt that Lilia has tried to comfort the son of man by putting reassuring kisses on his brow the kiss is far more powerful if it comes from the one who cursed them."

Malleus looked at Silver then back at his grandmother. "Will this cure him completely?" The Queen shook her head no. "The child seemed to have this curse of death placed upon him long before Malleus cast it. Hence the reason why the curse of death befell him. The curse though seems to belong to someone of the same bloodline as whoever placed it upon the child of man." Both Lilia and Malleus could guess who the Queen was referring to.

Melanor was the reason for the state Silver was currently in. "What Malleus did was cast a spell and activated the curse. He did not curse the child of man but somehow blessed him with sleep. Though he won't die after the curse is broken sleep will always follow him from now on. Not eternal sleep but sleep that is random and may hold onto him for minutes at a time. Also, know one last thing. He may not awaken right away his body needs time to heal from sickness"

Malleus looked at Silver who still struggled to breathe. He was relieved that the curse of death had not come from him but it still saddened Malleus to know that his mother had been the one to cause the child of man such harm. Gently Malleus bent down and placed a kiss on Silver's forehead. "Please awaken Silver. I love you brother."

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

(just so everyone knows ending is technically at the end of chapter two)

[hobisstar]

holdin on | j.h x f.reader

summary: you and hoseok have a falling out, but you need to return his belongs on a stormy night

alerts: toxic ass hoseok, mean ass hoseok, dom!hoseok, fingering, couch sex ( kinda).

disclaimer: 18+ mdni. As pure usual, i do not think anyone i write about is like this in real life, this is for entertainment purposes and i do not intend to give anyone a negative picture. be good people and enjoy <3

tag list: none this time <3

breathe in, breathe out. think, question, answer.

that’s what you tell yourself before you knock on your now, ex best friends door with plenty of boxes of his belongings that you found around the house. “just knock and leave. simple. no conversation needed.” you thought in. you take your right hand and knock on the forbidden door. you take a deep breather before getting ready to walk away but the door swings open to a figure. Jung Hoseok, whom might i add is the best friend in mention. see you decide to stop ‘seeing’ Hoseok.

you where in a happy relationship before and after you stopped seeing Hoseok, but that didn’t end well. Hoseok would say things like, ‘you’ll miss my cock deep inside you, baby~, he won’t please you like i can, he’s going to leave you and you’ll come running back to your home, me, i hope you think of me while he fucks you horribly,’ yes, it’s toxic, but Hoseok has always been like with you. he was so protective, you thought it was cute at first. then one night, he fucked you so good you couldn’t even walk for a week. he was cocky since then. anyways, back to the now.

“hey um, i found some of your things,” you point to the stack of boxes, “at my apartment and wanted to return them, i was about to leave. Bye” you turn to walk away but Hoseok speaks, “what… you're getting rid of me for good? i thought this was just until you dropped that little toy of yours.” he turns his attention to the boxes then to the window in the hallway, back to you. “You should stay, i believe it’s going to be a bad storm in a few minutes. don’t want my baby getting soaked, you know if it’s not by me of course.”

you sigh knowing this is just a cheap reason to really talk to you. “ i’m fine, Jay. i can drive in it it’s no issue. i rather be out there heading home then here.” you confidently say. you knew exactly what Hoseok was capable of, i mean you two where best friends for years. he knew what could get you to stay with him, he knew what got you hot and bothered. " ohh, is that right? well, the weather thinks otherwise and i agree with it. you should stay at least until the storm is over, i sure your little boy wouldn't mind if you are gone for a few hours. stay."

you think a little, he's right. the storm could be bad to the point you can't see on the road, and you could possibly crash and you're sure DongHyuck, your ex that didn’t like how close you and Hoseok where, but he also wouldn't want that to happen to you.

you look up at him and roll your eyes, " fine. ill stay, but no funny business" you walk in after you see Hoseok grabbing his boxes. you sit on the sofa, and you start to think, what are you doing? you promised yourself Youd never end up back in this beautiful apartment, smelling his signature scent, the scent that drives you up the wall, the scent that makes you want to be wrapped in nothing but him. why was it so hard staying away from something so bad, but it was always feeling so... good? you continue to question yourself as you hear the rain begin to poor against the window to Hoseok's apartment.

well, there was your chance of thinking of going home. " You can help yourself to something to drink or eat if you want, Y/N. i don't bite unless you want me to."

Hoseok interrupts your thoughts with his beautiful lips saying his beautiful nothings. “ Jay i’m just here to give you your things and-“ “ Speaking of that, why are you here? i mean we both know it’s not to give me my things back. especially the things i wanted to keep with you so you have something to remember me when i leave for work. the things that i definitely didn’t ask for. so tell me Y/N, why are you here? you didn’t just come to taunt that beautiful mind, body and soul at me, did you?”

at that very moment it hit you. why are you here? i mean its not like he asked you to bring him his things back. when he first brought them there, he stated, he never wanted them back at his place, there in there new home, is what he said. so why, why are you sitting on the sofa with the man you say you no longer want to see anymore because of his cockiness and the way he says he owns and knows ever curve on your body?

why are you sitting with the man you say you hate but deep down you love him so much you just needed a reason to come see him tonight? Hoseok knew the answer only because he missed your company, your mind, your smile, your intelligence, your beauty inside and out, and lastly, he missed your taste. the taste of the sweet nectar that you leak when your so close to releasing just for him.

he softly grabs your hand, placing it in his, and putting it up to his lips lightly leaving kisses on it. “hoseok, i… i missed you.” you admitted. finally. “ this has nothing to do with Hyuck, it’s just i miss you as a best friend, a lover, and honestly you where right. Donghyuck just wasn’t for me. i broke up with him but i figured- “ he put his finger up to your lips, shushing you, “Baby, you know i don’t like you talking about another man around me, let me just please you, okay?” you nodded and let a sigh of relief out after finally being back with the man that really owns your heart.

Hoseok begins to leave wet kisses from your wrist to your shoulder, to your neck up to your lips. As your lips connect with his, he lets his hands glide all over your body. you moan from the feeling of his kiss needing more so you bite down on his lip hearing him grunt but he bites back at your lip and you gasp which allows him to slip his tongue into your month to feel your warmth within your mouth.

the kiss starts to get heated and sloppy but he pulls away going to your neck to leave marks. he sucks and bites at your neck instantly finding your sensitive spot, he always remembered. he watches your mouth drop open as you let out pants and soft moans from his lover marking.

“ H..Hoseok your going to bruise me” you whine out. he licks over the marks which sends shivers down your spine. gosh you really missed this. “ i want everyone to know your taken and not by that loser” hoseok fingers starts to slide under the waits band of your pants and under. he lightly swipes over your clit which sends a shock wave up your body.

he takes his four fingers and rubs gently circles on your clit, slowly but effectively. “ fuck your pussy is always wet for me” he whispers in your ear as he puts your back against his chest. he puts his free hand inside your shirt eager to get his hands on your soft smooth tits. you become a moaning wet mess for him. “ please jay don’t stop baby” you gasp as you feel him slide two fingers into you wet entrance. He starts to move his fingers slowly in and out watching your reaction to his hand movements. back to his hand inside playing your tits, he starts to pinch and roll your sensitive nubs and as he rolls them between his fingers, he thrust his digits inside your wet pussy.

Hoseok groans just from the feeling and starts to speed up his fingers, fucking you relentlessly. “ shit jay, oh please don’t stop i’m so close to cumming for you baby” you hold onto his biceps feeling him flexing as he goes even faster. you moan loudly in the air and climax all over his fingers over and over. Hoseok slows down his movements and slowly moves his hand out of your pussy up to your clit rubbing it watching you shake from your release. “mmm, good girl. you always listen to me baby” he takes his hand out of your pants and puts his soaked digits in his mouth sucking your juices off his fingers.

he moans from the taste and makes a pop noises wants he takes them out, “ your nectar always taste so sweet, taste it.” he mumbled as he kissed you feeling how eager you are to taste juices on his tongue. Once you both pull away, he kisses the top of your head, “ now, should we continue this in our bed?” you say after fully calming down. you feel his chest rumble from a quick laugh. “ i thought you’d never ask.” Hoseok hostess you up and carrie’s you to your paradise.

please remember to

breathe in, breathe out.

[maddiehu7]

Chapter 1

It was a normal night at Bobbys I just got back from the hunt of a vamp nest in Oregon I was sitting by the fireplace when I feel a blanket go over my shoulders

"Here kid" bobby says then walks over to his desk I thank him with a smile, bobby has always been like a dad to me he was the first hunter I meant he saved me from my first hunt of a ghost when I was just 18 ever sense then he's took me in as if one of his own half my information of monsters comes from him hes the best hunter I know, but lately I feel like he's hiding something from me sometime I ease drop on some of his conversations on the phone talking to a dean and sam I know bobby helps other hunters but this seems different.

"Hey bobby can I ask you something" I say looking over at him he grunts a sure as he's looking over some books

"Whos sam and dean I hear you talking to them allot" i say hoping I'm not prying to much as he looks up at me

"Well I was actually gonna talk to you ab- " he says getting cut off by a knock at the door

"I guess your about to find out" bobby say with a half smile going to the door I look over at him confused, he opens the door I peak over to see two guys one really tall with long brown hair and another shorter but still muscular and tall regardless he also had brown hair but darker and shorter, bobby smiles and hugs what I presume is sam and dean, I stand up and let the blanket fall from my shoulders I feel a little embarrassed sense I'm in my pjs with a messy bun sense I live with bobby when I'm not on the road I changed and was gonna go to bed

bobby steps aside to let them in the taller one looks over at me

"Is this the infamous Emma I've been hearing about?" sam smiles and looks over at bobby

"Oh yes forgot you guys haven't meant Sam this is Emma" I smile and move toward the large man and shake his hand he smiles back

"Nice to meet you" I say sam shakes his head in agreement

"And this is dean my brother" same moves his hand towards dean to introduce him

"Hello"I say I'm normally not so awkward but seeing this beautiful man in front of me makes me blush slightly I try to shake it off so no one notices

"Well hello to you to" he smiles cutely and shakes my hand for a little longer than normal

bobby comes up to dean and whispers in his ear but I hear it still

"don't even think about it" dean looks down at the floor and purses his lips in a small shy smile sam just looks over and laughs

"So Emma I was talking with the boys and I asked them if  you could start hunting with them they agreed" bobby says hoping ill agree

"What um why" I say questingly Bobby sighs

"Kid its been getting more and more dangerous out there with the apocalypse on the rise I just think we could all stick together right now" I look at him slightly angry

"I don't need anybody to protect me bobby I can handle myself" I say looking at him annoyed

"Em you know I know you can take care of yourself I just get nervous that's all, I'm just trying to help kid" I sigh letting go of the anger and having it be replaced with understanding and sadness that Bobbys worrying so much and keeping it in

"Ok yeah ill do it" I smile over at the boys who were watching from the sides

"Well good now that that's resolved you guys have case in Minnesota, simple demon possession case should be easy" bobby pulls out newspaper articles and we all go over and take a look Bobbys right dose looks easy but always except the unexpected right

"Well that settles it Minnesota it is lets go, thanks bobby" sam says and walks out the door to the car

"Ok I'll be back I'm gonna change quick"

"Is that necessary" dean whispers smiling charmingly at me, I roll my eyes while smiling at him, he winks and walks out to the car as I head up the stairs

I walk over or Bobby to say goodbye

"Kick ass kid" bobby smiles hugging me goodbye

"Thanks bobs ill see you soon" I smile hugging him back I walk out the door and see a beautiful impala outside I never liked cars much but this is cool ill admit

"This your guys car its beautiful" dean smiles at me then at sam he rolls his eyes

"Thank you hear that sam finally someone appreciating Fine beauty" dean says as he shows his hands up towards the car a laugh at him and get in the back seat, as we drive away the "heat of the moment" blast in the car I start to relax and smile I love this song, dean starts to sing along annoying sam but making him smirk nonetheless the seem like the really love each other its sweet, I wish I could have that sadly I'm an only child, I start to fall asleep in the back of the impala its pretty comfy for an older car I'm excited nervous but excited for this new adventure i think as I fall into a deep sleep.

[vickyvicarious]

(In order to not derail op's thread, and jic they've not finished reading the books, hope this is ok) The madness/mental illness discussion between Laura and Jonathan made me think about the in-between of Jonathan leaving the hospital and then being validated!

One thing is, pre-Hawkins death, Mina states to Lucy that Jonathan has been working hard, but that he is weak still and placid, and also that he has nightmares. It tells on them both, because Mina cannot get a full night's sleep due to him waking up screaming and she needs to soothe him. Journal aside, Mina says she is so worried about his nerves that she doesn't communicate with him about how tired she is herself. It reminds me of Walter wanting to protect Laura from distress.

Post-Hawkins death, Jonathan gets worse. "He says the amount of responsibility which it puts upon him makes him nervous. He begins to doubt himself. I try to cheer him up, and my belief in him helps him to have a belief in himself. But it is here that the grave shock that he experienced tells upon him the most. Oh, it is too hard that a sweet, simple, noble, strong nature such as his—a nature which enabled him by our dear, good friend’s aid to rise from clerk to master in a few years—should be so injured that the very essence of its strength is gone."

Not a very traditionally ''manful'' picture, but Mina never goes there. Still, he throws himself into work. Mina says her belief in him helps Jonathan believe in himself. Maybe Laura would have benefited from being believed in.

What prompts Walter to do something drastic is when Laura weeps in her sleep. What prompts Mina to break the seal later is when Jonathan faints in public and loses the memory of it.

The way Mina treats Lucy and Jonathan in illness seems equal. She keeps their secrets upon their request too. Walter and Mina take similar active roles for their spouses, though Mina isn't necessarily masculine for it.

An interesting imho comparison could also be when Mina chooses to consult Van Helsing while Jonathan is away for his first work trip and how they communicate throughout it, and Walter with the sisters.

Aside, when she asks Van Helsing to help Jonathan, he says, "I promise you that I will gladly do all for him that I can—all to make his life strong and manly, and your life a happy one." Van Helsing promises to make his life manly, though Mina had asked to make him "well again". So he kind of made it about gender, though it wasn't for Mina.

(I also wonder if we can call Jonathan ''cured'' really, as he doesn't actually return to his former self, but it'd get too long!)

(Tagging @animate-mush because the WIW substack has ended now, hopefully you're all caught up... but regardless no spoilers past where we were last week.)

Anon, you sum up my thoughts incredibly well: "Maybe Laura would have benefited from being believed in."

I think that is perhaps the most major difference between the recovery period for the two of them. Because while they both have remarkably similar symptoms, and both their spouses hide stuff from them for a while... when things come to a head Mina chooses to believe in Jonathan. Not just in supporting him as he goes back to work (which you're right, he has little choice about doing - an external gendered element there, where societal pressures/norms mean Jonathan kind of has to get to work and Laura is never expected to at all); Mina trusts Jonathan with information, with an important role in what follows.

There's obvious contextual differences. Jonathan knew he could access his lost memories and explicitly didn't want to unless it was necessary. He put the power to decide that in Mina's hands (and it was his request but still her choice to share in his ignorance until she needed more information). When she reads his journal, she's trying to better help him within parameters they have both agreed to. When she eventually tells him everything is true, she's trusting that this will be validating for him and help him heal, help him be more "well again" (though you're right both that he never returns to his former self, and that Van Helsing is the only one who brings gender into it with his assumption that Mina's looking to make Jonathan more manly).

Laura never had an equivalent - both in terms of a discussion with the ones leaving her out for the sake of her mental health, and in the sense of some record she knows she can fall back on. She didn't have a hidden journal when she was being drugged or in the asylum. Most of the information Walter and Marian gather is from other people.

I think there is a period where both Jonathan and Laura have information hidden from them for their own sake. And I don't think that was inherently wrong or anything; in fact I think it was somewhat needed. Jonathan got the chance to explicitly ask for that period of ignorance. We don't quite have any such dialogue from Laura, but the narration still tells us that there were certain topics that were very confusing to her or which she didn't like to linger on (and her experience with Mr. Fairlie even after getting out of the asylum can't have helped), and there's that scene where she says she will "try to get better", showing recognition of how unwell she currently is. I think they both need this time to focus on recovering, and their spouses/loved ones want to support them so they can do so. Again, the societal gender role divides them here: Jonathan has to work and in fact has to take on new/more challenging work, while Laura doesn't and can devote more time to rest and recovery. There's benefits and drawbacks to both of those, in my mind. Jonathan got support from Mina and reassurance that she (and Mr. Hawkins) believed in him, which was helpful. On the other hand, it stressed him out more and he was still suffering from his nightmares, etc. Laura got more time to take it easy without having other stress added on, which was helpful. But on the other hand, she didn't get the same level of trust and belief in her ability to, if not 'return to normal,' at least to be productive and helpful in some way.

Yeah, I'm talking about her drawings. I think that is where the big divide comes. Because when she wants to contribute and help with the household, Walter decides to lie to her and play-act that she is bringing in money. I get that he's trying to avoid letting her stress over money, but it feels so condescending. He's treating her like a child rather than being honest with her - right after she asks him not to treat her like a child. Maybe being honest would just be telling her that she's not well enough to work/that it wouldn't be safe, and that he has the money handled. Maybe they'd come up with some other way she could chip in. At least she'd be involved in the discussion as she clearly wanted to be. And while I don't think she would be involved in the hunting down different accounts or confrontations that follow at the end of the book any more than Marian was, I think they should have told her what was going on. That doesn't necessarily mean giving her all the nitty gritties especially if they're triggering to her; but giving her the chance to speak for herself, to add her thoughts, even to ask to be left out if she thinks she can't handle it. She never gets that. There's no reevaluation later on.

Both Jonathan and Laura were denied validation in a way that made them doubt their sanity. Jonathan's experiences were supernatural and he fears he lost his mind. Laura was lied to and gaslit about her own identity, outright told she was suffering from delusions. Revealing that the supernatural things he remember are real was validating for Jonathan in itself, even as he still had all the accompanying trauma. Laura's (official/public) validation isn't possible until after the villains are defeated and everything is over, which in a sense stretches out that middle period. Similarly, Jonathan getting the information leads right into him getting a change to assuage his feelings of guilt and seek revenge, which could be cathartic for him. Laura probably wouldn't have the same opportunities or even desire to do so, and so maybe looping her in wouldn't have been as helpful. But it feels cruel to me never to give her the option. After a certain point, it's no longer just trying to spare her from distress, but it feels like believing she isn't capable of handling any at all.

I guess that's what feels most gendered to me. Walter, and to an extent Marian too, don't treat Laura like an adult or an equal after her experience. This does happen throughout the book, but it gets so much more egregious after she's rescued from the asylum. Marian talks about women/is kind of treated like an exception to women in general, and Walter is leaving both women out in key moments. So given how women were typically seen as less capable, to me it feels somewhat bound up in that rather than just being about her specifically (I think she handles/is capable of a lot more than she's given credit for). Mina doesn't do really that, she doesn't really bring gender into her treatment of either Jonathan or Lucy in the same way. And while others in Dracula do, it's shown to be more of a mistake.

[demxnicprxncess]

request - you’re an interviewer and get assigned to interview kai during election season. you don’t align with his political beliefs and accidentally say something that goes against what he was saying. knowing that you’re scared of upsetting him, as well as having a bad interview, kai suggests that you suck him off as a way to ask for an interview retake.

ouuuuu i love the creativity! of course ill do it. id succ his dicc without pissing him off tbh.

"Get on your knees." (Kai Anderson x GN! Reader however I imagined them as a girl)

Warnings: Kai Anderson, public sex, sex tape, oral (k), degrading, unprofessionalism, talks of racism, I used MY BELIEFS in what was said by interviewer.

I sat down in my seat, carefully organizing my cards with questions written on them and little information on the topic. I analyzed each question and prepared myself for every question there would be, alongside all the possible answers. I never truly agreed with what Mr. Anderson had to say, and I'm sure I never would. I watched as he walked in, his hair put neatly into a bun, I could tell he had clearly obviously been pissed off, that had settled me into my "Don't fuck with him" mode. "Hello Mr. Anderson." I watched as he gave me a simple smile, "Hello there." He took a seat across from where I would sit. "I'm just going to set the camera up give me a moment please." He nodded simply as I walked over to the little tripod and set up the camera, it fell off the small table it rested on making me bend over to pick it up. I felt him stare at me ever so intensely as I picked up the little camera. "I apologize Mr. Anderson." He just chuckled softly but didn't utter a word. I clicked the start waiting for the three beeps before I began talking. "Hello, I am (name) and I'm here with a candidate for senator. Mr. Anderson, it is truly an honor to get an interview with you. I was so surprised when you agreed." He smiled straightening out his back before replying, "Well, I seen you and did a bit of research, along the time of my research you struck me as someone who valued the true American Dream." The way he worded it seemed so condescending however I smiled and looked down at my shoes before slightly shifting in my seat. "I'm flattered Mr. Anderson. If you don't mind, I'd love to begin our questioning." He simply nodded at me. "So, as you know, Trump has gotten 452 miles of the wall done. How do you feel to know that he is actually building the wall?" His smile got a bit wider as he leaned forward slightly. "I think he's doing an amazing thing. Americans are losing their jobs that they worked to receive, to foreigners who don't even belong here." The way he worded it sending me into a bit of discomfort. "Can you please elaborate on what you mean?" He smirked, "The wall is needed to keep those terrorists out of our country." he leaned back in his chair still smirking, "It'll make America great again." I had it. If no one would speak up, I would. I couldn't take this; no amount of money would ever leave me to act as if this man was right. "I highly disagree. America was never truly great; it was built off of racism and-" He sighed, cutting me off, "You're delusional, slavery was so long ago it should just be forgotten, do you not agree?" I glared at him; how can a man of such great power be so ignorant to society. "I absolutely do not agree. It shouldn't be forgotten; and that is not the only racism. America started when we decided to kill off Native Americans from THEIR land. You tell people to go back to where they came from, but your ancestors weren't born here. Were they Mr. Anderson?" I watched as his face grew hot with anger. "Excuse you? I had instantly snapped back into my professionalism, "I apologize Mr. Anderson, I-" he stood up walking to me. "Get on your knees." I was confused, "I beg your pardon?" He sighed a mumbled something about dumb sluts before forcing me onto my knees. "What are you-" He slapped me an put his finger on my lips. He used the other hand to snatch his pants down and open my mouth, shoving his dick in my mouth. "mmmm, using your mouth for good. Look at the camera while you choke on my dick" I felt myself gag as he rammed his dick down my throat, spit pooling around his cock and down my chin as I looked at the camera. "Fuck, I'm going to cum in this pretty little mouth and you're going to swallow it. It's a privilege to pleasure me. Isn't that, right?" I nodded before I felt his grip tighten on my hair. The overwhelming feeling of his seed shooting down my throat as I struggle to swallow it all. "Oh shit, you're a good fuck honey." I look up at him. "I think that concludes our interview right (name)" I nodded quickly before crawling to the camera to cut it off. "Send me that."

Should I do part two?!

taglist: @yes-divine-ruler, @ppawmpkin

[razorblade180]

Thief’s Gambit

After a routine patrol of Vacou, Carmine sits on a rooftop, quietly on a rooftop. Normally she’d be ready to return home, but tonight she was given an anonymous request to wait at the Kingdom’s central location. Not one to ignore suspicious events, Carmine didn’t dare ignore the request. She’d get her answers soon enough. After all, there was someone already approaching behind her.

???: Such a goodie two shoes. It’s really impressive.

Carmine:What do you want, Mona?

Mona:Abrasive as ever. I thought you would’ve been a little surprised to learn I sent the request. After all, I really can’t stand you.

Carmine:Which is why I’m not surprised. *turns around* So what? Is this where you pull your daggers out and “settle the score?” I have to warn you I am incredibly tired and won’t hesitate to arrest-

Mona:Blah blah blah! Let me speak god damnit! You long winded types are so annoying. I’m here to ask you for a once in a lifetime favor. And before you say anything, no, it has nothing to do with a dumb relic sword.

Carmine:Wasn’t thinking about it until you said something. Not like I have access to it anyway. Cut to the chase already.

Mona:Later on tonight, I will be meeting with Aero and officially be resigning from his little gang. Do not tell him I’ve met with you. Soon I shall-

Carmine:No.

Mona:What? I haven’t even told you my favor in full yet!

Carmine:My opinion of you is rock bottom. Even so, you’re no idiot and do think of other’s feelings. It’s the leash Aero has on you that stops me from arresting you repeatedly and you know that. So…leaving the gang only means one thing. You’re planning on doing something completely out of line. You don’t want them associated and you don’t care about going to jail.

Mona:Heh, wow. There really is brain behind those annoying scarlet eyes. Too bad it only works for justice and is only half right. I don’t plan on rotting in a cell. If- When I pull this off, it’ll mean you’ll never see me again.

The air between them fell silent, Carmine’s curiosity piqued. Though she wasn’t sure that was good, given how Mona casually walked closer with her hands behind her head and stopped the the building’s ledge to look at the kingdom.

Mona:May favor is simple. I am going to do something horrible, and I need you to look the other way.

Carmine:I think you forgot how I spend my days making sure horrible things don’t happen. Plus I’d never make a promise with something that vague.

Mona:Ugh, I can see why you don’t have friends. Listen, I’m not telling you to not do your job. As a matter of fact, do all you can to save the innocent, but only that. Don’t come after me. Keep your pretty little eyes on the situation at hand and be the good little girl people think you are. Although we both know despite my “goodie little two shoes” remark, you’re more than willing to raise a little hell for the sake of humanity. It’s the only fun thing about you.

Carmine:You’re doing a really bad job of asking for favors.

Mona:Come now. Don’t pretend you don’t love the idea of never dealing with me again. You hate me as much as I hate you.

Carmine:I couldn’t care less about you honestly. You’re a broken person who’s no good for the people around her. Not that it’s your fault for being so…you. In fact if there’s anything we can agree on it’s how your mother should be put through hell and back.

Mona:Heh, fair enough. You saying we might’ve actually enjoyed each other’s company?

Carmine:Hell if know. As it stands, you’re like an ill dog in the Pound. Nobody can afford to take you in and nobody will be surprised when you suddenly aren’t around anymore.

Mona:Won’t stop a certain someone for being sad though. Perhaps I haven’t been phrasing this correctly. Don’t count this a favor to me. Consider it as doing Aero one. Like you said, nobody can afford to take me in and I personally never planned on turning my life around. Shouldn’t you be doing everything possible to cut me out of his life as quickly as possible?

Carmine:….

Mona:Look, I can’t promise you completely safety of civilians, but this kingdom has no shortage of heroes and huntsmen. All I can tell you is this, be near the slums at eight at night. Not s minute before, understand? I’m sure between you, your mother, father, and Aero’s parents, no innocent people will die. After all, I’m not trying to hurt innocent people.

Carmine:But you are trying to hurt someone?

Mona:Duh. It’s not like you don’t do the same to further your agenda. Let me fulfill mine and the rest is history.

Carmine:…I refuse to promise I will turn a blind eye. However, I won’t tell Aero. And maybe…I’ll drag my feet a little.

Mona:Hahaha! Works for me I guess. You really are stubborn, but not unreasonable. You have an annoying way of knowing the best course, even when it isn’t popular. I guess that’s the one thing I admire about you.

Mona took off the scarf that symbolized her affiliation to the gang. Honestly she was never the biggest fan of it considering it was inspired by the very girl who stood before her. It’s only fitting it should return to her.

Carmine stared with unblinking eyes at Mona’s gesture. Strange. The notorious bandit held a twinge of pain in her eyes. Maybe…no, Carmine didn’t allow herself to even fantasize about a different outcome between them. In the end, some things are simply beyond anyone’s control. Carmine took the thin, blue silk scarf into her custody; at the very least she could treat this request seriously no matter her final decision when it comes to pass. Carmine tore the scarf in half from the middle and wrapped a portion around Mona’s arm.

Mona:What are you doing?

Carmine:For better or for worse, you were once apart of something bigger. I see no reason for you to leave empty handed. I’ll find a use for the other half eventually.

Mona:Whatever you say. Welp, see ya never, probably. At least not in this scorching dump. Remember, this talk never happened. Oh, one final thing, a token of wisdom from your elder. You might want to consider working on your people skills.

Carmine:…..

And just like that, the notorious gem of the slums fell back into the city lights. Carmine couldn’t even see the woman anymore. She’d be lying if she said she felt unbothered. No good comes from a person as chaotic as Mona getting serious. All Carmine was certain of was despite her own gifts, this was the last time she’d see that messy blue hair in Vacou ever again.

[justsomestoicguy]

The Red Means I Love You

It's been a week since my ill-fated slip-up with Stain. 

He left things off on a "let's continue this another time" note. But it's the kind where he purposefully tries to steer away from the topic.

And honestly? I'm grateful we haven't resumed that convo, because I am far from ready yet.

But on a lighter note, I managed to escape my group's wrath with the 'ol "family emergency" excuse. 

Well… mostly.

Tanaka gave me hell for ditching the project and my work. I had to play the sympathy card hard, claiming, "Family's complicated, you know?", knowing damn well she wouldn't buy it for one bit. But hey, it was enough to keep her off my back.

So now, I've settled into a routine: Ops on Tuesdays and Thursdays—schoolwork and friends the rest of the week. 

Oh, and keeping in touch with Stain through a burner phone. Very secret agent-y, if I do say so myself.

Today, I'm back at the 2nd Training Corps, which apparently only consists of Toga and me for now. 

I had some suspicions about why Stain placed me here with her, and they were immediately confirmed when Stain mentioned Scourge left him a list of people to take in in case of a worst-case scenario (shrewd as always, Scourge).

He thought that, by extension, that also meant getting me close with said people, and so he did what he did and put me here.

It left me wondering, though, what other names are on that list? Dabi? Twice? Other "salvageable" members from the League of Villains?

Unfortunately, I couldn't ask Stain about it since he's too busy running the Ops. Dude's surprisingly competent. 

And as for Toga, well…

"Ran-kun!" she calls out, her voice bright and bubbly. "You done sweeping over there?"

I finish up the last bit of dust and lean on my broom, glancing at her. "Yeah, just about. Sensei'll have our heads if she finds a speck of dirt left."

Why are we on cleaning duty, you may ask? Well, because according to our very wise and very pretty mentor, Onibi-sensei (or just Sensei as we call her), "Discipline is the key to success."

Not quite what I imagined when I signed up for secret vigilante work, but hey, I'll take what I can get for now.

Toga skips over to me, her smile widening. "It's kinda fun, y'know? Doing this with you."

"Sure," I say, forcing a chuckle. "As long as it doesn't involve getting yelled at, I'm game."

We've been getting along pretty well, all things considered. 

Unlike me, Toga has happily left her old life behind. And while I know her reasons (thanks, MHA fandom), I'm waiting for her to tell me herself. Building rapport and all that.

But, of course, it's never that simple. 

Toga has a... unique way of expressing affection. 

Case in point: she pulls out a knife, eyes twinkling with that signature, unsettling glee. "Ran-kun…" she addresses sweetly, almost innocently.

Great. Just great. I sigh, trying to keep my cool.

"No, Toga-chan," I say firmly, holding up a hand. 

Her smile falters, eyes darkening with a hint of hurt. I quickly add, "You shouldn't just rush into people like that. It's not polite. You should ask nicely first if you want something from them."

She blinks, caught off guard. For a moment, I think I've made a terrible mistake. But then her face lights up with pure unadulterated joy. 

"Oh! Okay! Er, Ran-kun, can I taste your blood, please? Pretty please?"

Don't be so blunt about it!

Still, I reluctantly (though I tried not to show it) nod. "I—sure. But let me do the dirty work myself. And no drinking directly from me, okay?" I motion for her to give me the knife.

She pouts, clearly not thrilled with the stipulations, but agrees, handing me the blade.

I scream internally, grabbing a cup from a nearby counter and mentally preparing to make a small incision on my hand. 

C'mon, Ran. Just get this over with.

Angling the knife, I slice swiftly, drawing blood from the back of my hand over the cup.

Y'ouch.

It hurts, but I'm thankfully able to keep a neutral face. Toga watches with rapt attention, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. 

As the cup fills to about a centimeter, I pull my hand back and press some tissues against the cut. 

Toga snatches the cup and downs it all in one go, her face glowing with satisfaction as her eyes fluttered shut in apparent ecstasy. 

Shivers. Everywhere. 

Yeesh.

"So sweet," she murmurs. "God, you're so sweet, Ran-kun." Toga grins and clings to my arm with a dreamy look. 

"I love you sooo, so much!"

Ah, the "L" word. Here we go.

Gotta shut this down, fast.

"I don't like girls," I blurted out. If there's anything that can get her to back off, it's this.

She blinks in surprise before beaming again. "That's okay! I can turn into a boy for you!"

"No," I said instantly, "that wouldn't be true to yourself, now wouldn't it?"

That finally gives her pause, and she sulks. "Oh..."

"But," I continue, searching for the right words, "you have the cutest smile a girl could ever have, y'know? And your love for people is... intense, to say the least. Which I deeply admire."

Her face lights up again. "You really think so?"

"Absolutely," I say, patting her on the shoulder. "But you deserve someone who'll love you the way you love them. And that someone just isn't me."

She looks down, clearly disheartened, but I emphasize, "Don't worry, I'll still be here for you as a friend, okay? We're friends, right?"

Her face brightens once more. "Yeah! Friends!"

I chuckle weakly, inwardly sighing in relief. 

It's hard work being in good graces with Toga, but I'll put up with it.

She was one of my favorite characters in MHA, for one.

For another…

Having someone with her quirk—perfect for infiltration and espionage—on my side could be invaluable. 

Especially with the goal I have in mind.

Just then, I hear the door creak.

Geh—Sensei's back.

"Boss Stendhal!" 

…Now that catches my attention. 

I turn around and see Stain approaching us.

"Boss Stendhal!" Toga repeats, waving at Stain excitedly. "Ran-kun and I were just finishing up our cleaning duties!"

Stain nods. "Good. Discipline is important."

He then turns his gaze toward me. "Akako Ran, I'd like to have a word with you."

My eyes widen, and a smile begins to blossom.

"Are we finally gonna talk about it?" I ask, skipping as I walk toward Stain.

He nods again. "Yes."

"Talk? About what?" Toga chimes in, gaze flicking back and forth between Stain and me.

"It's confidential, Toga Himiko," he replies.

This makes her pout. "Fiiine," she drawls, huffing her way away from us.

I watch her leave with a chuckle. It's good that she didn't protest, at least.

"Akako Ran."

I glance at Stain.

"Let's go somewhere private," he states.

My nerves and excitement become almost too much for me to handle.

"So you'll hear me out on my plan?" I whisper, wanting to make sure.

Stain studies my face.

"Since it concerns the Hero Public Safety Commission, after all."

Heh.

My grin broadens.

—

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

Chapter 1

[sukirichi]

Holy shit. Im usually at work when you post the updates so i got quite the scare when i saw your tag. I legit believed today was monday 😭😭😭

Dhshdhbsbbabbfbsnna in a way im so happy we're with rin but it breaks my heart how he keeps trying to push us away thinking we would be happier without him and how scared he is that we'll despise him later on for choosing him

😭😭😭😭 Baby, rin ill never despise you, love your stubborn ass too much

Team rin till the end uwu

The part where he thought we wanted to have sex made me snort so loud 🤣🤣🤣 poor baby, waking up to that 🤣🤣🤣

Kinda annoys me we keep saying 'that we' re leaving cause he's the only thing we have now' i understand his reaction its like we're saying 'oh if we had a choice we wouldnt pick you' i know we genuinely picked him and we even tell him but the insistence of keeping on saying 'because youre the only thing i have left' doesnt sit well with me

Also sorry omi stans but i felt absolutely nothing seeing him crushed and crying. I agree with the person that said it was really toxic of him saying rin never loved us and even 'manipulative' to an extent when he truly didnt know what was going on in rin's head and heart. So he can suffer a bit too 🙄

Hope he has his closure of wtv 🥱 i just want a happy ending with rin 🤣🤣🤣🤣 where we can finally have a genuinely calm happy life even without riches. Just us, rin kids (since he wanted some) and a dog (cause he also wanted one and honestly im more for the dog than kids ahahahha) like i dont need wealth just rin uwu

AFGHJKAA I get the confusion, I don’t even follow with my schedule anymore either because life’s just out of control *sobs* LMAOOO rin thinking we randomly wanted sexy time even after running away from the cops and him being game for it was like the only lighthearted scene in that chap AGHJSKA. and oooohhh that quote… I think we said that to reassure him that we do value him, like he’s still important to us and because he’s the only thing we have left, we’ll cherish him even further because we can’t afford to lose one more thing that’s precious to us </3 (in all honesty tho!! you’re right lol. if the situation had been different and if we had a choice, we probably would’ve still chosen kiyoomi if it meant rin was still safe. but he wasn’t. so.)

AS A KIYOOMI DEFENDER let me clear my man’s name HAHAHHA he said rin didn’t love us because to him, that’s not how love should be!! kiyoomi is a very simple guy. if you love your partner, you would never lie to them or cheat on them or do anything that you know would hurt them!! if you do any of those things, then maybe you didn’t love them at all – that’s how kiyoomi thinks, but you’re right, he didn’t know what was going on in rin’s heart. and YES rin did love us despite being horrible. he isn’t a black and white character at all. but yeah omi deserves his closure!!

[abelunwilling]

Squad 33 | Cloneshipping Big Bang | Sneak Peek!

For @cloneshippingbigbang

Writing by @abelunwilling (forceinsensitive)

Art by @ann-i-inthestars ​ (nephilimswitchlight)

Title: “Long Ride Home”

Pairing: Echo/Crosshair

Rating: Mature

No Archive Warnings Apply

Other Tags: AU - Canon Divergence, Angst, PTSD, heavy depictions of brainwashing and mental illness 

Word Count: 20K (approx) 

Summary:

Crosshair insists on returning to the Empire, but the Batch insist that he at least get back safely. When Echo volunteers to be the one to escort him, he finds himself confronting his own past trauma as well as the disturbing realities of Crosshair’s present. 

What should have been a simple drop soon becomes a long ride home.

I would like to earnestly thank @ann-i-inthestars for being such an awesome support and partner-in-crime for this project. We can’t wait to share the whole story with everyone! - Abel :) 

Excerpt:

“On Anaxes,” says Crosshair, after a cumbersome pause. “Why did you agree to join?”

Echo casts his eyes down toward the city again, all the people just distant, faintly-moving dots. That decision feels like it was practically a lifetime ago. Why would Crosshair ask this now?

“That place… with Rex, with my brothers… it wasn’t the same as when I left it,” he says, finally. The words come out slow, cautious. “I wasn’t the same. I needed to find out who I was without leaning on my past, and this squad… it fit. So, I said yes.”

“You didn’t belong any more,” says Crosshair, distantly. “You weren’t like them.”

“No, I wasn’t,” says Echo, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice, “but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have been accepted or cared for. Rex would have respected my decision either way.”

A crackling sound as Crosshair closes his fist around the empty soup cup. “You’re wrong.”

“Excuse me?”

“They would have said they accepted you,” Crosshair continues. “They would have said they cared. Maybe they’d even pretend to be nice about it, but they’d never see you as one of them ever again—not really. No matter what you had before.”

Echo gets the sense this isn’t really about him any more.

“You shouldn’t assume the worst of people,” he says, simply.

“You would say that.” Crosshair rolls his eyes; he’s still compressing the soup cup into a crumpled ball. “Your captain came back for you. Even after we told him it was a waste of time.”

Okay. So it’s definitely not about him. Echo sighs.

“Crosshair, if you want to say something about Hunter, just say it.”

Instantly, Crosshair is silent again.

“I thought not.” Echo shakes his head tiredly. “Look, I don’t know what it is you’re trying to achieve here. If you’re mad at us, fine—but I’m not your punching bag. I won’t let you take it all out on me.”

Crosshair is quiet for a long time, then.

Finally, he swallows thickly and says, “We’re the same.”

Echo’s not quite ready to go that far. “What do you mean?”

Crosshair won’t look at him. His jaw is so tight Echo can see a muscle in his neck pulling.

“You belonged,” he says, struggling to even get the words out. His hand loosens and the cup rolls to the ground, crushed beyond repair. “And then… you didn’t.”

[mania-sama]

So, I have ask these questions (ask game) to quite a few people, but most of their unpopular media, at least I know one of them. Except yours (sorry). Can I ask what made you love these 3 media : Child of Light (Video Game), School - Live! (Anime), The Unlisted (TV Show)?

Also, it's okay to be an Oikawa fan (he is also in my top 3 fav Haikyuu characters). And yes, I agree with all you say about him as a character. Though, I pity him a little because in twitter he must be on the same list as any other anime antagonist/villains that are murderer or terrorist or worst 😑😶

Have you finished Haikyuu, Mania-sama? A bit spoiler : he became Argentinian citizen and at the end of manga, his team vs Japanese team (with Kageyama and Hinata). Oh and Iwaizumi became athletic trainer in Japanese team (ironic, right)....

Oh, can I ask what do you think of Oikawa/Ushijima and Oikawa/Kageyama ships?

Some say, Ushijima or Kenma or Miya twins are the best antagonist of Haikyuu. But come on, we know better, right 😆😄? (Along with the majority of Haikyuu fans)....

P.s Do you know why Furudate sensei don't draw Oikawa that many? Because "He is an ikemen (so handsome), that I have to make him look good in every panel (and that is hard)"...😉

hello again!!!

No worries! That's why I listed them - I NEVER set people talk about those three online. EVER. I was not expecting for you to recognize them, or anyone to for that matter!

Child of Light -> Honestly, just an incredibly spectacular game. It takes about ten-twelve hours for a full playthrough without breaks, including side quests and messing with certain crystal combinations for upgrades. It's short, it's simple, it's sweet, but it is just. Beautiful. Very unique, and I haven't quite found a game like this since. One of the stand-out parts of this video game is that it is written entirely in verse. All of the character's sentences and words rhyme, aside from one character, Rubella, a jester, who consistently doesn't say the right word to make the rhyme complete or flow. The introduction of the game is also told in a soothing voice. The vibes are impeccable. Then, not to mention the visuals of this game are in a watercolor art style. It's just... unique and absolutely stunning to look at. The soundtrack is just banger after banger. I strongly encourage everyone to listen to it. Not that you have to intensely focus on the music, but just enjoy the atmosphere it brings. I was actually among the artists' top listeners on Spotify last year, and it was only from listening to the Child of Light soundtrack. The story itself is simple, but that doesn't mean it's not fun or impactful. You play as a little girl who has, well, died from illness, and wakes up on an altar in a "strange, new land" that has fallen to darkness. It is up to you to save the land of Lemuria from monsters and the evil, dark queen. The monsters are really fun to fight and look at (as in, their designs and the way they are drawn are phenomenal). The upgrade system isn't hard to grasp at all, either. You collect characters and help them in their stories. It's a fun, turn-based combat RPG. Everyone should play it, honestly. It's my favorite game. (Oh, yeah, you have a cute sidekick with a quick-wit, too).

School - Live! -> Okay, this anime isn't as phenomenal as Child of Light, but it sticks out in my mind anyway for the way it masterfully portrayed the world it's set in. It's about a group of girls who have a club at their school where they essentially live together at the school. Seems kind of odd, but they are happy with it and enjoy being each other's friends. Well. Turns out the main character is very, very delusional while trying to cope with the world around her. And the world around here is trapped in a zombie apocalypse. It's intriguing to me how her friends try to preserve her delusions (obviously a coping mechanism that I love seeing portrayed in media) while also keeping themselves alive. The narrative bounces back and forth between the main character's delusional reality where everything is normal to the bloody classrooms, reeking dead bodies, and boarded windows. The characters are all flawed individuals who, while being able to deal with the apocalypse, still struggle and flounder and yell and scream. It's just absolute whiplash tilting between these two realities, and it's done very well. Also, the intro song is a banger.

The Unlisted -> This TV show has more similarities to School - Live!, than it does to Child of Light, but is still pretty unique. It's about this organization that brings dental health to students in Australia, but in reality, they are chipping students in the mouth with trackers that can, essentially, brainwash and mind control the kids into mindless machines. The trackers also increase their strength and dexterity (I don't know how it works; some suspension of disbelief is required to enjoy this). The main characters, two twin brothers, find out what's going on in their school after one of the twins purposefully goes into the "dental checkup" twice in place of his brother. The main characters then find out about the existence of a group of runaway kids who are being tracked by the organization because they are all "Unlisted" - kids who were meant to be chipped, but somehow escaped - and conspire to both help the kids and inform the world about the truth of the organization. It's VERY entertaining. I fell in love with the characters and their relationships. The acting is... rough, especially in the beginning, but you get through it for the plot I swear. All of it pretty much hits my fancy; runaway kids, trauma and injury, mind control, funny banter, and family. I just. Really like it. And everyday I think: wow, what a shame this never got a second season. Because it is good and I love it :(. I've attempted to write this as an AU multiple times for different fandoms, but I never succeeded. Who knows, maybe one day I will.

Anyway, Oikawa being "the most evil anime villain" jokes will never not be funny to me. He is just so easy to pick on. I did see recently on Tiktok a video where they said off-handedly and in seriousness that Oikawa and Dazai Osamu from Bungou Stray Dogs were very similar, and I had to do a double-take. No. They are not similar. Not in the slightest. One has conspired to murder/has murdered HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE and is a LUNATIC. The other is a high schooler who plays fucking volleyball. Can we NOT. (It is really, really funny though. I hope the Internet never changes.)

I've considered rewatching the anime because of my recent sudden and violent re-hyperfixation, but I don't know if I'll ever get around to it. I have never actually read the manga for Haikyuu, but I do know about the time skip and how it ends. In fact, I've been writing a fanfiction about the IwaOi during the Japanese vs Argentina 2021 Olympic gold match (not rooted in reality, where Argentina received bronze and Japan came seventh in the actual 2020 Olympics). I hope to release it sometime soon. It's... interesting, I suppose. I'm up to my usual bullshit, and "usual bullshit" means that one character gets unreasonably hurt in some way. It brings me unparalleled happiness.

As far as OiUshi and OiKage, they aren't my favorite but I can certainly see the appeal. OiUshi less so - I think they have negative chemistry, but the idea of them being together is funny enough to be enjoyable for me. I have read one or two drabbles of them before. OiKage is a rather controversial ship, which I understand. I don't think it works well when they are high schoolers at all, but the idea of something shifting in their adulthood is a fascinating concept. I don't mind it, honestly. It would show a lot of character growth between the two characters both individually and together.

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

The Demigod From Asgard - Steve Rogers x Reader (Part 72)

A/N: I’m just gonna apologise ahead of this whole section of the story, I tried to delay it as much as possible but we’re here now...

Summary: A simple mission and check in turns into something much worse when Steve recieves a call from Bruce

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: Angst! Language! Canon Typical Violence! Infinity War Plot!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics​

Series Masterlist / Masterlist

Chapter 72: We Don’t Trade Lives

You were just feeding JJ lunch when you heard a pounding on the door. You frown watching as Steve got up from the table walking over to the apartment door. He had barely opened the door when a very pissed-off Nat stormed into your apartment.

“Whoa, what’s wrong Nat?” Steve asks as she comes to a stop.

“Wanda missed her check-in again, a whole week late! and we’re supposed to be stopping an arms deal but now we’re a man short” Nat explains with an irritated huff.

“I’m sure she has a good reason, we’d know if she was in trouble,” you say trying to placate her.

“What about the mission? I don’t think me and Sam can handle it” Nat sighs shaking her head.

“Steve?” You ask looking over at him.

“Yeah I can help, and we can go check in on Wanda at the same time” Steve agrees nodding his head.

“Thanks, Steve I really appreciate it, it’s a simple mission really we should be home by tomorrow morning” Nat sighs appreciatively.

“give me a few minutes to get changed and we’ll head straight out” Steve nods heading off to change.

JJ then lets out an annoyed huff letting you know he wasn’t impressed by the delay in food.

“Sorry bean” you smile feeding him another mouthful.

“How is he? Steve said he was a little ill last week?” Nat asks walking over.

“he’s good now it was just the sniffles, only lasted a day” you sigh looking over at JJ, feeding him another mouthful.

“That’s good, straight back to playing” Nat smiles as Steve steps out of the bedroom now in his suit.

“I’ll go let Sam know and meet you by the jet,” Nat says as she heads out.

Steve nods as he adjusts his sleeves, as he glances over at you he catches you looking at him with a concerned look on your face. He furrows his brows as he walks over putting a hand on your shoulder.

“hey is everything okay?” he asks gently making you sigh.

“yeah just got a funny feeling that’s all, but I’m sure it's nothing to worry about,” you say waving it off.

“as long as you’re sure, I’ll be back soon,” Steve says bending down to kiss you.

“Yeah I’m sure, just stay safe out there, don’t do anything stupid,” you tell him taking his hand.

“of course, I have Sam and Nat to keep me in check” Steve smirks making you chuckle weakly.

“I mean it Steve” you sigh shaking your head.

“I will I promise, when you wake up tomorrow I’ll be home back in one piece” Steve smiles reassuringly.

“see you later bean, be a good boy for mama,” Steve says bending down to kiss the top of his head.

“Mama” JJ nods in agreement making you smile.

“see you tomorrow” Steve smiles kissing you once more.

“see you tomorrow” you smile keeping hold of his hand until he stepped away and it slipped from your grip.

A couple of hours later on the jet Steve, Nat and Sam were planning the details of the mission, looking down at the schematic of the ship they were going to intercept.

“The ship is departing Calais at 9 pm local time and due to arrive in Dover just after 10 pm, our best bet is to intercept it while it's crossing the channel, preferably on the midpoint so if there are any issues the UK and France will be too busy arguing over who should deal with it to actually deal with it,” Nat says pointing at the map.

“we’ll have to strike quickly then” Steve comments crossing his arms over his chest as he rubs his beard.

“I can swoop in and take out the guards on the top deck” Sam suggests.

“me and Nat can then work our way through the rest inside before-“ Steve says getting interrupted by a phone ringing.

Frowning he turns around to where his pack was, walking over he found the phone that was ringing realising it was the one Tony could call. He takes a deep breath glancing over at Sam and Nat before picking up.

“Tony” Steve greets as the line connects.

“um hi Steve, it’s Bruce actually,” Bruce says making Steve frown in confusion.

“Banner?” Steve asks surprised, instantly grabbing the attention on Nat.

“yeah hi, um Tony told me you guys weren’t exactly speaking and I don’t know what happened but we need you,” Bruce tells him.

“what’s happened?” Steve asks as he puts the phone on speaker so Nat and Sam could hear too.

“There’s a lot going on, I don’t think I could explain everything over the phone, but Thanos is coming and he’s gonna be looking for Vision, specifically the stone, Tony said you might know where he is” Bruce explains, Steve sighs glancing over at Nat and Sam.

“yeah we do, or we think we do,” Sam tells him.

“good, I’m gonna head to the tower, I’ll see you guys maybe,” Bruce says.

“The Avengers are based at the compound upstate now, get Tony or Happy to give you directions” Steve explains.

“oh right okay, sure thanks Steve,” Bruce says as he hangs up.

Steve sighs picking up the phone and flipping it over in his hand as he thought. His mind instantly went to you and JJ at home. The feeling you had was right, he just hoped this wasn’t as bad as he feared. The fear in Bruce’s voice told him otherwise.

“Change the coordinates, we need to go straight to Edinburgh,” Steve says looking over at Sam.

“On it,” Sam says moving over to the pilot seat.

“you okay?” Nat says gently grabbing Steve’s attention.

“hm? yeah, what about you? with Bruce reappearing and everything?” Steve asks looking over at her.

“Time is a great healer” Nat sighs quietly glancing over at Sam quickly.

“We should be there within the hour” Sam calls out from the pilot seat.

“Great, hopefully, we’ll get there quick enough to avoid a fight but prepare just in case,” Steve says moving towards his pack to prepare.

As he does so he pulls out the photo he always kept in his pack. It was a picture of you and JJ from just a couple of days after he was born. Even though you were exhausted your eyes still shined and your smile was just as bright as you looked into the camera. Steve could hear your laughter as clear as day as you told him to stop. He couldn’t help but smile as he recalled that day, he folded up the photo sliding it into his pocket to keep you and JJ close to him.

An hour later the jet was flying over Edinburgh trying to locate somewhere to land so the team could start looking for Wanda and Vision. Nat was just suggesting somewhere when the sight of Visions beam shot through the sky.

“Found them” Sam mutters.

“Looks like company beat us here” Nat sighs glancing over at Steve.

“they’re heading towards the station, get as close as you can, drop me off and then join in once you’ve landed,” Steve says walking towards the back of the jet.

“don’t do anything stupid Steve” Nat calls out as Steve opens the jet doors.

“sure” Steve calls back before jumping out of the jet.

He lands on the roof of the station, spotting Wanda and Vision inside, Wanda about to face off against two aliens. Steve slides open one of the windows before dropping down to the station platform below. As he lands a train speeds past, blaring its horn.

Once the train was gone Steve got his first good look at the two aliens, one female, one male. The female growls when she spots him, throwing her trident-like spear at him. Steve easily sides steps grabbing the spear. She looks back at him surprised, both aliens distracted enough for Sam and Nat to attack. Sam flew in to tackle the female into a nearby shop before shooting missiles at the male one. Steve spots Nat running over, throwing her the spear which she uses to trip and stab the male in the gut.

Steve runs over when he sees the female getting to her feet, recalling her spear out of Nat’s hand. Steve rolls picking up the male’s staff and using it to block the female’s attack. He pushes her spear upwards before hitting her in the side with the staff. The female twists moving to attack Nat but she dodges them easily.

Steve and Nat attack the female from both sides leaving her no room to attack back. Sam then flies in kicking the female to the floor next to her fallen counterpart. She checks over the male as the three of them block their exits.

“Get up” the female growls.

“I can’t” the male groans clutching his gut.

“We don’t wanna kill you, but we will,” Nat tells them as the female looks up at them.

“you’ll never get the chance again” the female scoffs, she hits a button her wrist suddenly being beamed up to the sky.

Steve looks up watching them go when the staff he’d used was ripped out of his hand following after the aliens. Steve frowns looking up at the sky, not impressed his new weapon was taken from him. He sighs turning to see Wanda crouching beside an injured Vision at the side of the station.

“Can you stand?” Sam asks as they walk over, bending down to help Vision up.

“thank you captain” Vision breathes, the tech within him visibly failing.

“let’s get you on the jet,” Steve says with a small nod.

Once on the jet, they set Vision down in one of the seats, Sam moving to the pilot seat firing up the jet as Nat closes the door.

“Now I thought we had a deal, stay close, check in don’t take any chances” Nat states turning around to face Wanda.

“I’m sorry, we just wanted some more time” Wanda apologises quietly as Nat storms past Steve to sit down.

“where to cap?” Sam asks.

Steve sighs deeply before glancing around the jet the remnants of Stark and Avengers Tech all around “Home”

Steve stood at the front of the jet watching as the Avengers compound came into view. There were a couple more buildings than there was last time, at the same time it also seemed quieter, almost like a ghost town. He guessed in a way it was, there were no Avengers walking the halls anymore. He felt a strange sense of relief at being home, the familiarity calming his nerves. He just wished you were beside him to experience it too. Hopefully, after all this, you’d be able to though, you could raise JJ the way you always wanted to.

Walking through the compound they found Rhodey in one of the labs talking to a hologram of Secretary Ross. As soon as Steve lay eyes on the man he felt his blood boil, it was Ross’ fault you were in the raft, his fault you got tortured. While the guard was now rotting in a Wakandan prison, that didn’t mean Steve would pass up the opportunity to punch Ross square in the face. He had to keep his cool though, he had more pressing matters to deal with. Plus, Ross was just a hologram, Steve couldn’t actually punch him, not yet anyway.

“Mr Secretary” Steve greet coldly.

“You’ve got some nerve, I’ll give you that,” Ross says as he walks closer.

“You could use some of that right now” Nat points out.

“The world’s on fire, and you think all is forgiven?” Ross asks looking over at Steve.

“I’m not looking for forgiveness, I don’t think I could give it either” Steve states glaring at Ross, noticing the hesitation.

“But I’m way past asking permission, earth just lost her best defender so we’re here to fight” Steve continues taking a step closer.

“And if you wanna stand in our way… we’ll fight you too” Steve warns, smirking slightly when he saw Ross gulp nervously.

Ross takes a large step back turning around to face Rhodey “Arrest them” he orders.

“All over it” Rhodey sighs turning off the hologram “that’s a court-martial, it’s great to see you cap” he smiles holding out his hand.

“You too Rhodey” Steve smiles stepping forward to shake his hand.

“hey,” Rhodey smiles hugging Nat “wow you guys look really look like crap, must have been a rough couple of years” he comments as he looks around at everyone.

“yeah, well the hotels weren’t exactly five-star” Sam smirks.

“I uh think you guys look great,” Bruce says grabbing everyone’s attention as he walks in “uh, yeah I’m back”

“Hi Bruce,” Nat says with a small smile.

“Nat” Bruce greets nervously.

“This is awkward” Sam mutters under his breath.

“I think it’s time to hear the whole story,” Steve says looking over at Bruce who nods his head sadly.

“sure” Bruce sighs as they walk into the common room off to the side.

“Okay, so Thanos is the big bad, he’s been the one pulling all the strings, he sent Loki to earth after the tesseract, I was with Thor and Loki escaping Asgard when he attacked our ship” Bruce begins making Steve furrow his brows in confusion, he thought Loki was dead, and why would they be fleeing Asgard?

“His plan is to collect the infinity stones, he already has the space and power stone, he sent some of his children to New York to collect the time stone” Bruce continues beginning to pace back and forth.

“He sent a couple to get the mind stone too,” Sam says as Rhodey pulls up a hologram of the aliens attacking vision.

“yes, but they didn’t succeed, so right now we know for certain that his missing at least one” Bruce nods.

“what’s his plan once he gets them all?” Steve asks resting his hands on his belt.

“wipe out half the universe, to bring order and balance to the universe” Bruce sighs, silence falls in the room as everyone lets the information sink in.

“So we gotta assume they’re coming back right?” Rhodey asks as he looks at the hologram.

“And they can clearly find us” Wanda points out running her fingers over her lips anxiously.

“We need all hands on deck, where’s Clint? And Y/N?” Bruce asks glancing around.

“Y/N’s back at base looking after a- um recruit,” Nat says glancing over at Steve “and after the whole accords situation, he and Scott took a deal, it was too tough on their families, they’re on house arrest”

“who’s Scott?” Bruce asks confused.

“Ant-man” Steve answers.

“There’s an Ant-man and a Spider-man?” Bruce asks surprised, Steve just shrugs his shoulders unable to provide a good answer.

“Okay look, Thanos has the biggest army in the universe, and he is not gonna stop until he gets… Vision’s stone” Bruce says glancing awkwardly over at Vision.

“then we have to protect it,” Nat says before Vision interrupts.

“no we have to destroy it” he sighs.

“I’ve been giving a good deal of thought to this entity in my head, about its nature, but also its composition” he continues turning to Wanda “if exposed to a sufficiently powerful energy source something similar to its own signature perhaps, its molecular integrity could fail”

“yeah and you with it,” Wanda says her voice shaking slightly “we’re not having this conversation”

“Eliminating the stone is the only way to be certain that Thanos can’t get it,” Vision tells her.

“that’s too high a price,” Wanda says shaking her head.

“Only you have the power to pay it,” Vision tells her, cupping her cheeks soothingly.

Steve watches as Wanda turns and walks away from Vision. He drops his head sadly trying to work out a different solution but he was drawing a blank. He could understand Wanda’s hesitancy, if it was you asking him to do the same he wouldn’t be able to go through with it. He’d rather fight a thousand aliens than risk losing you.

“Thanos threatens half the universe, one life shouldn’t stand in the way of defeating him” Vision presses.

“but it should” Steve sighs interrupting “we don’t trade lives Vision”

“Captain, 70 years ago you laid down your life to save how many millions of people. Tell me, why is this any different?” Vision says walking over to him.

“Because you might have a choice” Bruce interrupts “your mind is made up of a complex construct of overlays, JARVIS, Vision, Tony, me, the stone, all of them mixed together all of them learning from one another”

“you’re saying Vision isn’t just the stone?” Wanda asks.

“I’m saying that if we take out the stone, there’s still a whole lot of Vision left, perhaps the best parts” Bruce explains.

“Can we do that?” Nat questions, her brows furrowed.

“Not me, not here” Bruce sighs shaking his head.

“Well, you better find someone and somewhere fast, Ross isn’t just gonna let you have your old rooms back” Rhodey points out.

Steve sighs pulling out the photo he kept of you and JJ back in Wakanda, the one place Steve knew might have a chance of removing the stone. It came with risks though, it would bring the fight closer to you and JJ which is the last thing Steve wanted. But if he didn’t get the stone out and destroyed it wouldn’t matter where you and JJ were.

“I know somewhere” Steve sighs glancing around and looking over at Nat who nods her head.

“Great where?” Bruce sighs in relief.

“Wakanda” Steve answers.

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Series Masterlist / Masterlist

I don’t have a tag list so follow @secretswiftymarvelfanlibrary​ and turn on post notifications for updates!

[sophsun1]

No other episode is guaranteed to make me ugly sob within seconds than brian's father's death. god, i relate to it and brian so fucking much and gale's performance throughout and at the end always, always breaks me in half. The thing that pisses me off is people's reactions to children of abusive parents. You see it in the episode and in life in general wherein you're almost guaranteed to hear a version of "I'm sure they loved you in their own way/they didn't know how to show it/they had a bad childhood themselves/how the child should be the bigger person and forgive them/the classic, but! they! were! still! your! mother/father!"

As if just because you were born through no choice of your own that you end up owing them, you have to constantly forgive and forget, having to be the parental figure over and over and it fucking sucks.

What I appreciate about this episode is the writers actually show the two sides to the reality of being that child. It feels so human and relatable and I'm not just watching another episode of my favourite show, but I can look at it and say fuck, that's me I have felt that. On the one hand, you have people like Michael and Justin who comment regardless of what Brian's father did and how he treated him he was still his dad and it trumped any feelings of hurt Brian had over it. The simple "blood is thicker than water" ideology that as his father it gave him the power to be respected and Brian should wave away any wrong he did. How quickly people want to brush off any feelings of ill will when a person dies, how they become immortalised as someone who never did a thing wrong. How quick they forget.

We see versions of this in relation to Brian in the show and I hate it. For example when Brian first finds out that his father is sick and Debbie encourages him to tell him he's gay, more or less putting the burden on Brian and insinuating he owed his dad this part of himself (what the fuck!) and what happens? His father says he wishes Brian was the one who was dying. When his mother finds out he's gay and he's putting on a front at Woody's telling the guys how she was horrified by it and him but he doesn't care, fuck her. Michael pipes up saying that maybe she will come around in time, as if anytime Brian expressed hurt and anger towards his abusers they could never just accept it and let him have those feelings it always had to be countered in some way. I guess some part of it is when you come from a loving home either as the child or parent it's very difficult to understand the inner workings of the life of abusive parents and the impact on their kids. Not forgetting Debbie taking it upon herself to tell Joan that Brian had cancer!!!

I love that they didn't shy away from the other side, the side that's not deemed as maybe socially correct and you should keep that stuff behind closed doors. But I completely sympathise, agree and relate to Brian's behaviour how he refused to bow down to everyone's expectations of how he should grieve because they felt he wasn't doing it the right way. Michael deducing that just because Claire was sobbing like a demented banshee that meant she was obviously feeling it so much worse than Brian who hadn't shed a tear. In reality Brian told him that his father hated her. Yet Brian who was openly abused by them, always tried hard to be respectful and show care for them both in spite of what they did, which again is so relatable as a child of that.

I cheered him getting to tell the story of how his dad wanted him aborted, how he continued to go to Babylon and fuck around, that was his grieving process it might not have been what Michael thought was right and proper but it was his way.

The poignancy of him getting a do over of the joy of hitting a strike with Michael as kids, now as an adult and giving zero fucks and getting the celebration he was robbed of! The haunting finale with the bowling ball down the alley, the sombre so long Jack, and then finally on his terms releasing some of the burden, letting the tears flow.

Special mention to my two favourite lines of dialogue in the episode - "If you don't earn respect when you're alive, you don't deserve it when you're dead" and "Can you imagine growing up in that house, how did he ever survive? Who's to say he did?"