#but ill be rotating this game for months yet

[reliquiaen]

The more I think about it, the more convinced I become that the Arisen in the first game DID successfully break the cycle and the brine-apocalypse followed. That's why Gran Soren is beneath the sea now. The cycle ended and, with it, the world as we knew it from the first game.

The dragon even says that many worlds have risen and fallen before, implying that before the world we know in DD2, there was another, different existence in this same reality.

This means that the cycle never STAYS broken. The Pathfinder talks about the will of the world creating the dragon to bring stability to the chaos and, from what we know in the first game, it's the Seneschal's job to ensure order is maintained, lest all life end.

So a new facet to the Great Cycle can be added: if the cycle breaks, a world ending apocalypse begins. Presumably, everyone (or very, very many people, anyway) dies, and then a new great dragon is summoned from the chaos to bring order and allow existence to start over. The Arisen defeats the calamity, optionally challenges for the seat of Seneschal, and then another dragon is born to represent all the latent chaos of the universe, ad infinitum.

Which means we were right in thinking the cycle can't truly be ended. My only question now is: who becomes Seneschal after the chaos reality starts? Is it whoever fights that final supermassive dragon? Or is there another, secret step?

Bring me some story DLC please.

[yunessa]

It was called ‘Leper’s Smile’. So the maps and my crusaders told me. The fastest way to Drezen lay there where the canyon cut deep into the earth, cutting through the ground like an open sore.  To move around the canyon would add time and dangers I could not handle if I want to keep rushing to Drezen and try to take it. It was popular with smugglers and travellers through the Worldwound as well- according to the maps the caves in the canyon burrow deep into the earth, with a travelling merchant and their civilian retinue passing that way mere days before Kenabres was attacked.

  The news of both Valas Gift and Vilareth Ford being empty disturbed both Anevia and Irabeth. As of yet I have no idea how it will affect Kenabres. The lack of people now versus the available supplies will find some way to balance, considering Kenabres is now down some eight thousand (At best guess) as of less than a month ago.

I have spent my evenings studying books and charts and speaking with the crusaders. I take on a mantle I am not prepared for and one I must wear with a smile and unaffected demeanour, as if I’m tired, yet, fine.

Am I really? No. I understand too little. I see now how little I have, and how much is expected of me. I can see now, what has taken Daeran a life growing up in the shadows of the crusades to know and understand. Lann understands to an extent, but not nearly as much. Politics is a web and one I feel as if I am ill-equipped to understand.

But with the lot I have no, I might be able to manage. If I need someone with infinite patience, I have Sosiel. For politics and charisma, Daeran.  For blackmarket goods Woljif. For things among the soldiers, Seelah and Ember. 

As much as I don’t want to admit he’s right sometimes, Ulbrig is well equipped as a leader and his advice is helpful- when you ignore the talk of hobgoblins and fairies who steal your milk teeth.  Between Ulbrig and Regil, I feel that is they don’t manage to kill the other, then I will have a well balanced team.

I do not count Nenio. I have told her if she cannot recall my name then I will do no more. So far she seems content not to recall my name. I cannot let her go because she has some of my power and I feel that it is inadvisable. But what shall I do? So far my companions seem to have a game rotating Nenio so we don’t interact much.

Perhaps for the better. I feel it is only reasonable to ask my name be used, or remembered, in conversation. If nothing else, my title.  I’d accept Commander- or even just bard! Is that not reasonable? Even Daeran was willing to do such a thing for a brief conversation and multiple people have relayed to me he’s quite irritating.

Strangely, I don’t see it. He can be coarse, rough, and annoying when he encourages Lann, Woljif, or Nenio to create strange ideas or to further their nonsense. But  thus far, he’s not annoying in the same way Nenio is. Nenio has taken first place in that regard, by a country-wide stretch and remains in the lead.

If she says my name or title and continues to use it then maybe my opinion will change.  For this time and for now, officially I am less than a week into this crusade. Something else might pop up to agitate me more.

Doubtful, as even Minago didn’t reach this point. But here we are.

As I write this letter tonight, we are less than four days hard ride from Drezen. Our next stretch will take us through leper’s smile. Anevia seemed worried demons could be camping  and stalking us, but thus far our scouts have reported naught.

Forn also disappeared  before I could speak with him again, as did Kaylessa. Perhaps whatever they’re involved in has gone with them as well. I won’t miss it nor shall I strive to figure this mystery out. Drow, cave elfs, hunters or  bumpkins- none of it  involves this crusade. No matter how much Aravashinal wants to investigate otherwise.

Roan, the cultist from Martyr Zacharius’s graveyard has also made no progress in the investigation on the severed heads. I found another when I awoke this morning. Cold. Dead. Severed from its neck with an unnatural sharpness.

Who in my crusade is giving these to me and why? Is someone watching me? Stalking? Perhaps it is Camilla. But I have no evidence to prove anything and the investigation’s lack of progress or ideas gives me a headache.

Speaking of headaches, the weather has turned a sharp cold promising imminent winter. We shall have to capture Drezen within the month. I feel my body wanting to turn on me so I am sick with winter cold.

But first I have another worldwound history lesson with Nurah. A meeting with Irabeth. A discussion with Lann. A blessing from Sosiel and a hundred other small taks that require my attention even before I consider sleep for the night. All important taks and ones I must do.

I hear Nurah at the entrance of my tent. I must go to greet her.

Yunessa

[sleepyowlwrites]

an introduction to Sleepy's wips (this time it's for real)

welcome.

I'd like to sort these by active vs inactive wips, projected novels vs short stories, most recently updated vs neglected, but that's not very helpful, as my wips regularly rotate like they're on a merry-go-round, and I could work on twelve wips in a month or one. or none. the best I can do is list wips I have, indeed, written something for/about them, and then the ideas that have nothing after that.

Category: WIPs

(this category contains content, from a few paragraphs to several thousand words. yeah. I've got range)

Youth: The Ephemeral Infinite (#wip: youth story)

a young adult novel about ten teenagers who have feelings and sometimes talk about them. set in Paris, 2018, over the course of one school year. all ten POVs, and the story is non-linear. it's a combination of the real and surreal, as time feels foggy and all the kids have superpowers. they're not important.

status: draft 0 complete

Dirt in the Doing (#wip: city story)

a new adult novel about attempting to deal with emotional trauma via physical, often violent means. Jet, our POV, will punch anyone who tries to hurt the people he's reluctant to admit he cares about. this particular story has all of my favorite tropes because I'm writing it so I can read it. it's realistic fiction but I call it ci-fi (city fiction).

status: writing draft 0

Spirits and Summoners (#wip: summon story)

a new adult fantasy novel about summoners dealing with spirits, bounties, secrets, and some guy who is spirit-possessing dead dragons. Zan, our POV, is not the main character, and he knows it. this wip is heavily inspired by video games and contains some tributes to their unique ways of storytelling.

status: not trying very hard to either write draft 0 or worldbuild

House of Favors/Swords/Blood (#wip: guild story)

a new adult fantasy novel? about the three guild houses and their apprentices. there isn't really a plot yet. I have two POVs with more planned, and an immortal sorceress with no name.

status: I have started writing draft 0

Mercenary Story (#wip: mercenary story)

an adult? fantasy novel about mercenaries, a princess, shenanigans and questing. and trauma. can't forget the trauma. multiple POVs with a lot to figure out.

status: I have started writing draft 0

Every Other Star is Silent (#wip: anxiety story)

a new adult contemporary novel about Aidan, and his anxieties. set in college, with a tremendous amount of discussion on mental illness. singular POV, with a slightly unreliable narrator.

status: draft 2/draft 1 rewrite (but I haven't worked on it in two years)

Spider Silk (#wip: magick story)

a novella about a small town whose history is being rewritten by someone trying to hoard all the magick, and the few people somewhat unaffected by this who are trying to stop him.

status: I occasionally worldbuild and make cameos for my friends

The Search for Petrichor (#wip: rain story)

a new adult duology about magic, family, control, trust, and powers that everyone forgot about. seven POVs with a vaguely fairytale/folktale retelling vibe. in the same world as Guild Story.

status: unknown (truly, I do not know)

The Score (#wip: death story)

a short story about Lawrence Whitely and his experience in the sideways death world of The Score, and all the lives he sees and remembers in it.

status: in limbo, which is very meta

Princess Rowena (#wip: princess story)

a middle-grade series about Rowena and her friends getting up to magical shenanigans.

status: hanging out in the archive

It's a Big Universe (#wip: space story)

a novelette? about a cosmic being travels around the universe in their little spaceship, all alone, until they're gifted some friends by an oracle. they don't understand the concept at first.

status: I've written some of it! and then I abandoned it

A City Asleep (#wip: apocalypse story)

a short story? about two boys roaming a city after the world falls apart. there is not plot but there are VIBES.

status: two whole scenes! and some thoughts

Trans-dimensional Ghosts (#wip: ghost story)

a ? about a junior warlock who is forced (by oath as a warlock) to help out a young man and the ghost attached to him before the ghost can consume all his energy. trouble is, the ghost appears to be from a different dimension. there's also a werecat, which is fun.

status: there are words for this thing but it's been dead for years

Home is Where the Heart Is (#wip: hunter story)

a short story about the annual quest to find and kill the Winterbeast in order to free the spirit of Spring that's been trapped inside its heart all winter long.

status: the winterbeast is very much alive

The Summer Gallery (#wip: summer story)

a short story about a gallery Jake works at for the summer that may or may not actually exist.

status: it has a great opening line, which is something

The Train Between Us (#wip: train story)

a novella about two strangers meet on the train to work and discuss their careers, emotions, and personal struggles while unaware that they're in a pocket dimension for the duration of the ride each day. They gradually help and comfort each other until the pocket dimension expires.

status: writing chaotically

Category: short fiction/misc.

(this category contains content, just brief)

Gang Up On Crime (#w: sleepy stash)

originally the fanfic of a fanfic, this is now just about gang wars but like, for children. there's violence but it's for babies. I don't know what to tell you.

status: I have more thoughts in my head than in my docs

The Girl From the Dimension Next Door (#wip: dimension story)

about Aaron and Sarah, who live two universes apart and regularly bend and break through spacetime to share their childhoods and their troubles.

status: I started writing it as a tumblr serial

The Phantom Thieves (#wip: thief story)

about a group of thieves trying to steal a bridge. there are pocket portals and banter.

status: I started writing it as a tumblr serial

Glow (#w: sleepy stash)

a very short story about the love between mother and daughter (I wrote it for my mom).

status: finished/unfinished

Previous Lives and Premonitions (#wip: college story)

a short thing about what the title says. it doesn't really make any sense because the context isn't in the story.

status: unfinished/finished

Beasts of the Garden (#wip: castle story)

a (so far) only dialogue story about a rosebush thief who has to work in an enchanted haunted castle for three months and survive. part of a larger universe of fairytale retellings. this collective currently has no name.

status: spontaneously updating

The Emporium Chronicles (#wip: worker story)

retail! but make it fantasy.

status: technically this doesn't have content but I do intend to write it so it didn't really belong in the ideas category

Sharp Knives, Cold Eyes (#wip: necromancy story)

a young necromancer gets caught up in a conspiracy between rival gangs and also the death guild, and her companion fetch-quester is along for for the ride

Tumblr Shorts:

Hell in a Handbasket

The Chosen One

The Grave Diggers (from the future!)

A Universe of You

You Were a Windshield

Guilt and Guns (in Space!)

Heavy is the Head, or Something

Kismet

A Name for the Road

The Girl From the Dimension Next Door (flash fic version)

Category: Ideas without wips currently

A Soul in Parts - sci-fi story about near death experiences causing your consciousness to split. there is cloning. (I will never write this.)

Forged Fates - fairytale story about being named after whatever the stars or sages or something have declared your fate to be. the protagonist is Jack of All Trades and he's not having fun.

Making of a Miracle - Chaos and Inevitability are entities that are tired of the universe dying so fast when they go up against each other so they decide to create a creature who can balance them out. it's like two supervillains doing arts and crafts and the poor plucky creations having to deal with them.

Library of the Mind - psychological dark academia about exploring too deeply into mind magic. guarding yourself against being manipulated in good, but you can end up tearing yourself apart instead of building yourself up stronger.

The Recollection - a series of shorts about the Recollection, an archive for memories people don't want anymore. memory erasure angers the sage of memory, so instead of wiping the slate clean, unwanted memories are stored in a vault and taken care of by the archivists, childlike beings who encounter the best and worst of humanity while never remembering anything they archive past a day.

The Hat Trick Man - I will not elaborate, because I can't.

Death by Midnight - fairytale where the times of day have personifications and they're a bunch of siblings and midnight (for reasons) is killing the siblings - not permanently, but it does confuse humans when afternoon suddenly disappears from the day for a week - and the other times of day have to team up to stop midnight.

Killing Time - similarly, time's personification has been split into several pieces and the unlucky protagonists have to time loop travel to kill the fast times and hope they're never taking out the piece that holds their reality.

The War of the Words - about godling writers who control the fate of the world and they can't stop writing or the world dies, but also they can't agree on how the story goes, so it doesn't make sense

The Planet Farm Beyond Oblivion - prequel to Space Story about Oblivion, where planets are homegrown from fallen stars and shipped off to spots in the universe but disaster strikes in the form of one of the Growers planting seeds with toxic elements.

Only the Night Knows - fairytale about how only the Night remembers how to wake the sun, and the newest prince and his best friends travel through Night's tower to reach the end of night and the birth of a new day.

Uncommon Ailments - a shop that encounters every ailment from secondhand depression to displaced souls.

A Quiet Cold - a small town slowly freezes while people don't really notice until it's too late.

Blood of Gold, Blood of Silver, Blood of Bronze - blood types are categorized by the kind of magic one wields. it's a well-known fact that anyone can have strong and unique magic, and that the system for tracking it is highly biased and false, but most of the people with gold blood are rich, so society skews in their favor anyway. a new blood type comes on the scene, and others follow after that: iron, copper, steel, etc.. with every new set of powers, the hold the gold bloods have on society weakens. and then one blood type goes rogue, and the world might have to crumble before a new one can be built.

The Cure for Depression and Other Mythical Creatures - mini comics about mental health

August Blue - Conrad and Elsie in the summer by the lake, a place no one else knows or can find. Little does Conrad know that he drowned while looking for Elsie, but as he discovers it, there might be a way to come back. But can Elsie come back, too?

Unearthly Appetites - a guy gets cursed to become a demon and spends the rest of his humanity trying to appreciate it better while encounting strange beings

The Cure for Insomnia - a guy gets turned immortal (or does he) and gets depressed about not needing things like sleep and food as much and has to be rescued from depression by some found friends

The Pennyman - a boy tries to collect 1000 pennies in order for the pennyman to grant him a wish

Making a Difference - kids of an elementary school work at gathering the ingredients for a "difference" in order to put on a school play

Blood Orange - something about magical assassins in the summer trying to achieve the same goal and also kill each other a little bit

Twelve Shadows - a Peter Pan retelling where Peter is replaced with his own shadow which is currently haunting his lost boys while he's unsure of how to get himself out of a sticky bargain with an old, old creature. Meanwhile the boys are all losing their shadows and their selves and Peter can't afford to be a lost boy anymore. More than their shadows are at stake.

The Silence Machine - a deaf guy creates a machine to generate silence in order to undo the hypnosis placed on his town caused by constant music

The Decaying of Shelara Da'Esti - a summon story prequel about our favorite twice possessed skeleton

Sharp Knives, Cold Eyes - a necromancer accidentally sends her fetch-quester straight into a conspiracy and now they're unraveling a mystery about a cult, reluctantly befriend a wizard, land some assassin friends by accident, and argue a lot.

Romeo & His Juliets - Juliet returns to Romeo every time she fails to prevent his death. Still a tragedy.

Maisy Beckett & the Watermelon Boys - an only child meets a family of six boys who recruit her for a job at their family's farmstead during the summer.

Category: lore OR plot but not both!

Hit-the-Road Jack - a young man cursed with monster brand is hired to kill said monsters and then promptly run out of town so as not to infect anyone (even though curses can't be passed on).

The Blessed Beautiful - a school for young oracles where only the girls begin disappearing just as a treaty is being signed with a more powerful empire.

stuff about dryads - weird lore about dryads, originally for the Teen Wolf universe, now just chilling in my brain (lore)

romance story - a retelling/crossover of Les Mis and Sense and Sensibility (plot)

Snow Fangs and the Poisoned Cinderella - shapeshifters + curses, merging a few fairytales and also there's no romance (plot)

Moss-rose and the Sleeping Swan - retelling mashup of snow white and rose red and sleeping beauty (plot)

Marriage of convenience - Hadley Jamison is going to have to marry his childhood friend and nemesis, Amelia Kinsey. There's an inheritance, a dowry, a debt, and a lot of family history riding on it (plot)

Pirate Story - a young women gets lowkey adopted by some pirates and there's angst (lore)

Wuxia Story - a woman from a family of assassins marries a young lord who is trying to dismantle said family to prevent from from succeeding in killing the entire royal family. There are three sides at play and the newly married couple don't trust each other whatsoever (lore)

Category: Fanfic

here is a link to the existing masterpost about fanfics because I am not going to retype or migrate all of that, thank you.

I am so tired.

[soccerdailyuk]

Man City could get pre-season boost they haven't had in three years

Man City could get pre-season boost they haven't had in three years Manchester City have dominated the Premier League for the past three years, winning consecutive titles and playing innovative football. They achieved these victories without a striker for two years and without a left-back in the 2022/23 season, utilizing their versatile squad effectively. However, it's important to remember that their success wasn't without challenges. They secured the league title on the final day of the 2021/22 season, preventing Liverpool's strong challenge. Additionally, Arsenal seemed likely to win the Premier League in the previous season before faltering towards the end. In 2021, City had to cope without Sergio Aguero for the majority of the time and adopted a rotating false nine strategy. It's worth noting that Manchester City has faced difficulties in getting off to a strong start in each of their previous campaigns. They have often relied on a streak of victories during the mid-season to surpass their closest competitor. However, this year, they possess all the necessary elements to begin strongly and maintain their momentum from the beginning. In 2021, Manchester City faced a challenging situation with no pre-season due to their previous campaign's late conclusion in the rearranged Champions League knockout stages. They had just a month's break before the start of the new season, resulting in a lack of friendly matches. To compensate for their limited preparations, City were given an additional week before the season began. The impact of this unconventional pre-season was evident as they managed only six wins from the first 13 games in the Premier League. They even dropped as low as 14th in the league standings and were positioned ninth after the initial 13 matches. However, their fortunes changed dramatically with a remarkable 13-game winning streak that laid the foundation for their eventual title triumph. The following summer, the postponed Euro 2020 tournament took place, involving players from City as well. Several players reached the latter stages of the tournament, including representatives from England, Spain, Belgium, and Ukraine. Consequently, when the City squad reconvened for pre-season, many players had only recently concluded their previous seasons, leading to a disrupted squad for the three home friendlies against Preston, Barnsley, and Blackpool, all held at the Academy Stadium. The start of the 2021/22 season showed slight improvement compared to the previous year, although there were still four draws or defeats in the opening 10 games, including a loss in the Community Shield against Leicester City, with several senior players unavailable. City remained in fifth place until the fifth week of the season and only took over the top position in the table after 15 games. However, a remarkable 12-game winning streak between November and January helped them regain momentum, ultimately leading to a title-winning performance on the final day, with Ilkay Gundogan's heroics against Aston Villa proving crucial. Last summer, City made their first foreign pre-season tour since 2019 by going to the USA. However, their camp in Houston was disrupted because four important players - Laporte, Stones, Foden, and Gundogan - were absent. Laporte was injured, while Stones, Foden, and Gundogan were not allowed to enter the US. Before the first friendly match, there were some challenges for City. Akanji and Gomez had not yet been signed, Dias was ill, and only Ake was fit among the center-backs. Ake played alongside youngster Luke Mbete, while midfielder Kalvin Phillips came off the bench to play in defense. During the tour, all attention was on Erling Haaland. However, he didn't participate in the first friendly due to fitness management, and his debut in Green Bay was cut short after 14 minutes due to a severe thunderstorm. When the game resumed against Bayern Munich after a delay of around 90 minutes, it was shortened to 80 minutes, disrupting the momentum. City performed well throughout the season, consistently staying in the top two. However, they dropped points in three matches within the first 10 games, giving Arsenal an advantage. It took them 28 attempts to win more than three consecutive games. Eventually, they went on a run of 12 consecutive wins. The World Cup also affected the flow of the season, and Guardiola regretted the slow start and the missed opportunity in the USA with several key players absent. If City's squad is indeed mostly fit when they start pre-season, it could provide Guardiola with a significant advantage that has eluded him for the past three seasons. Winning the Champions League means City will have more matches to play this season, making a strong start in the Premier League crucial. The only concern seems to be Kevin De Bruyne and his hamstring injury, but without a major summer tournament, Guardiola's players should be well-rested after a full month off. City will face challenging opponents such as Yokohama, Atletico Madrid, and Bayern in Japan and South Korea before the Community Shield match against Arsenal. With tough competition and a fully fit and rested squad, Guardiola will be in a better position at the start of the new season compared to the past three years when they won the title. Man City could get pre-season boost they haven't had in three years Read the full article

[mentalblabbermouth]

Subjects you to my ramblings because from what i understand Tumblr is a godless land if you act like it is

So I usually keep this google doc in handy, dating back from 2021! I like ruminating over stuff like mentally rotating a nice cow in my head. Never really shared its contents for obvious reasons. Instagram feels like having to act perfect and be organized, and I have to hold myself back....but this is Tumblr...😈

Manifesting being cringe and free, so to start off I'm sharing part of the most recent ramble back in May:

If you had told me I would be reading and contemplating fanfiction about Nintendo’s Super Mario Bros. after watching a movie that not only was surprisingly a fun watch that I would watch it twice in a month and also has one of the most genuine, heartfelt, wholesome depictions of brotherly love in 2023, I would think there was some serious mental illness going on with a massive helping of cringe but nooo here we are!!!

Literally I think about the hug scene so much, like thank god Nintendo actively worked on the preproduction. I wasn’t even remotely a casual gamer, more like a passive audience, beforehand but I swear to god that movie rewired my brain. Pacing? Meh. Story? Straightforward. Animation? Holy fuck was it visually pleasing, especially for a video game movie?! 

I don’t even know the full extent of Mario lore aside from surface level knowledge enough to catch a good amount of refs in the movie, but here we are looking up the villains list so I can make one up! Why? That’s neurodivergent behavior baby! So anyway…

Yeah I'm still spitballing on the the villain oc, so I don't have any fleshed out art yet, BUUTTT I can share some oldish art and sketches here that I don't feel like posting on Insta!

What if I made an Owl House au! What if...? ahaahah what a way to start off

[scrapironflotilla]

ANZAC and Ottoman relations at Gallipoli

I answered a question on r/askhistorians the other day and I think it's actually a good little read.

So, after the landing on the 25 April and a counter-attack two days later on 27 April the Ottoman forces didn’t launch another large attack on Anzac for almost a month. Eventually Essad Pasha was able to bring four divisions into the line, about 40,000 troops, for an attack on ANZAC. The attack went in on 19 May and was an absolute disaster for the attacking Ottomans. They suffered around 10,000 casualties, including about 3000 killed against the ANZAC’s roughly 600.

No man’s land between the two lines was carpeted with dead Ottoman and Anzac soldiers whose bodies quickly began to spoil in the Mediterranean sun. After three days the stench from the corpses was becoming unbearable and the threat of disease spurred both sides to action. After some aborted attempts at bringing in those left in no man’s land an Ottoman emissary, Major Kemal Ohri, blindfolded and carrying a white flag was led through Anzac lines to meet with Lieutenant-General Birdwood to negotiate a truce for the burial of the dead.

With the assistance of the Red Crescent and Red Cross an armistice was agreed to and on 24 May working parties from both sides met in no man’s land to clear the battlefield and bury the dead. New Zealand surgeon Percival Fenwick was part of the Anzac working party described the day in his diary.

A few yards climb brought us on a plateau, and a most awful sight was here. The Turkish dead lay so thick that it was almost impossible to pass without treading on the bodies. The awful destructive power of high explosive was very evident. Huge holes surrounded by circles of corpses, blown to pieces. One body was cut clean in half; the upper half I could not see, it was some distance away. One shell had apparently fallen and set fire to a bush, as a dead man lay charred to the bone. Everywhere one looked lay dead, swollen, black, hideous, and over all, a nauseating stench that nearly made one vomit.”

Although the work was grim, relations between Anzac and Ottoman soldiers was cordial, bordering on friendly. Fenwick described his Turkish counterpart as ‘a charming gentlemen’, with whom he conversed in French. Clutha McKenzie, noted that “Our men conversed with the men of the enemy as far as limited vocabulary would allow, which isn’t far.” Tahu Rhodes remembered that “There was no ill feeling between the Turks and our men, and at Quinn’s Post they shook hands and wished each other luck before returning to their respective trenches.”

This sort of amicable relationship was fairly typical of the troops themselves, both Anzac and Ottoman. There was some ill-will towards German troops at Gallipoli, mainly officers, but the Ottoman troops gained the grudging respect and sometimes admiration of Anzac soldiers which was apparently reciprocated. According to the account of a Turkish soldier:

A friendly attitude developed between the soldiers of the two hostile sides who were supposed to kill each other. They were giving the buttons they tore off their uniforms to us as a war memento, and in return they were asking for something else. Our soldiers were not allowed to give their buttons because of the military regulations of the time. They looked for other things, and in the end tokens like coins changed hands. At the same time, the soldiers were offering chocolates and sweets to each other while trying to communicate in sign language. The truce commission tried to prohibit this sort of friendship, but as soon as the commission observers left, shows of friendship continued. I saw an Australian soldier who was trying to measure the height of our tallest soldier and our soldier was letting him to do so with a smile on his face. As time passed the area was starting to look like a festival place and those who worked in the area went as far as embracing each other. “

Given the horrible living conditions shared by both sides at Gallipoli, the closeness of the trenches to one another and that war is largely made up of long periods of boredom, it’s not particularly surprising that both sides attempted to relieve the tedium by getting to know those opposite. Sniping games were played with scorecards held up after particularly good shots, letters were exchanged, often accompanying gifts of bully-beef or tobacco. This letter was received by Australian officer Major Leslie Fussell, from Turkish soldiers expressing their thanks for a tin of bully beef that had been thrown into their trenches by Major Fussell at Quinn's Post whilst instructing his men in the art of bomb throwing. The action was misinterpreted by the Turks as a friendly gesture who returned this note along with a parcel of tobacco thanking the Australians for their thoughtful gift.

In the early days of the campaign, before adequate reinforcements were available to rotate units, a single Anzac unit could hold a portion of the line for weeks at a time, getting to know the Ottomans opposite and forming routines. In his doorstopper of a book Gallipoli, Les Carlyon tells the story of an Australian light horse unit that had come to an unspoken agreement to allow an elderly Ottoman soldier to gather firewood in no man’s land every morning. When the light horsemen left, they failed to mention this to their replacements and the elderly Ottoman soldier, not knowing a relief had taken place was shot and killed on their first morning. This sort of live and let live attitude was often tacitly allowed by officers in the line, but fraternisation was loathed by senior commanders for its tendency to undermine the discipline and fighting ability of the men.

But officers still considered themselves gentlemen and so I’ll leave you with a letter to the Ottoman commander, left in the headquarters dugout of the Australian 3rd Light Horse Brigade on the evacuation of the peninsula that shows the attitude of at least some Anzacs towards their enemy.

"The Brigadier presents his compliments to our worthy Turkish opponents and offers those who first honour his quarters with their presence such poor hospitality as is in his power to give, regretting that he is unable personally to welcome them.

After a sojourn of 7 months in Gallipoli we propose to take some little relaxation...and in bidding 'Au revoir' to our honourable foes we Australians desire to express appreciation of the fine soldierly qualities of our Turkish opponents and of the sportsmanlike manner in which they have participated in a very interesting contest, honourable, we trust, to both sides.

For a little while we have been with you, yet a little while and you shall see us not. For us it is a matter of deep regret that the ancient friendship so long existing between the British and Turkish Empires should have been thus disturbed by the insidious machinations of the Arch-enemy of humanity.

We have left this area and trenches in which we have taken considerable trouble and pride, clean and in good order, and would be grateful if they may be so maintained until our return, particular care being asked in regard to matters of sanitation, so vital to the well-being of an army.

We hope that you will find the wine, coffee, tobacco, cigarettes and food to your taste, and a supply of fuel has been left in the cupboard to ameliorate in some measure the discomfort during the cold watches of the winter

Our only request is that no member of the nation who was guilty of the inhuman murder of that noble woman Miss Edith Clavell to whose photo this message is attached, will be permitted to pollute with his presence the quarters of soldiers who have never descended to such barbarous and ruthless methods".

[magdasabs]

What’s your honest opinion on Arsenal this last month? I feel like they’ve fielded a more consistent lineup (less rotation) and therefore they don’t look lost like they did during the losing spree.

I think the biggest positives for me is Beth’s form and the left side they’ve been fielding, specifically the Tobin/Jordan combo that I think with time can develop to be super dangerous.

I wonder what the return of the Asian Cup participants and players out with illness will do the lineup.

I am a bit hesitant to share my 'honest opinion' because I don't want to be labelled as Chelsea fan who has no idea what they're talking about or is just being negative on purpose or have things thrown in my face because it's really not that. But I'll go for it :)

None of the games have impressed me and I don't think the "losing spree" is over. Or they might not lose anymore but the form isn't there yet. Things haven't been great since maybe the beginning of December, with a few exceptions, so I hope they figure it out soon and get out of the slump.

I think having Leah back has been massive, as everyone suspected, and also Tobin - she's played very little for Arsenal but I thought she was always fantastic and if she's healthy she's for sure my number one pick for that wing (and Beth on the right). Beth had a fantastic game against Brighton and she did well today but I don't think she's back in the form she was in at the beginning of the season, which would be totally okay if she never gets there again, those contributions on their own were very valueable! The signings this window were great, Rafaelle really seems like she'll be amazing, Laura is a great back-up if not starter in her position and Stina hasn't done much yet but if she's even half as good as she usually is for Sweden she'll be a fantastic addition! So things are definitely looking up! I think the biggest issue now is the midfield and I'm not quite sure how to figure it out but things should start clicking soon.

[fericita-s]

Vanished (part 2)

Vanished on AO3

Part One

Thank you @the-spastic-fantastic​ for beta-ing this, making the moodboard, and general and specific obsessive talk about this story, these two, and how best to kill you all with the angst.

Part Two

Iduna barely knew her husband when they married.  She barely knew herself.  Often upon waking she could recall the edges of things – an idea of sunlight on a stream, reindeer grazing nearby, the smell of smoke from a campfire and singing voices that joined with hers. But before she could see faces or hear names or make sense of where, it was gone.

Despite not knowing her husband well or her own memories at all, she felt quite safe with him.  He was a kind man and he was devoted to her. His kindness was not only for her. When he had taken her to the cobbler’s shop, he asked after the man’s children by name and left castle-made sweets for them when he settled the bill. On a tour of wheat fields, he rolled up his sleeves to examine the planting, complimenting the farmers on their use of fertilizer and asking about planned crop rotations. 

She found him endearing, so willing was he to share his deficiencies as he saw them. When he showed her the inner workings of the clock tower he had haltingly confessed it was his favorite place to escape his father’s ire or tutor’s schedules, the many flights of stairs a deterrent to both. He pointed to his favorite reading spot and told her his favorite tales and histories, promising to send his volumes to the Calders’ if she wished to read them too.

And yet he could be the commanding King when necessary. Shortly after their wedding, she accompanied him to the trial of the men accused of dragging Northuldra traders out of their Arendellian homes and killing them in retaliation for a skirmish in the north that had happened around the time she was rescued from sea.  She listened in the Byrett, rapt, as Agnarr extolled the importance of welcoming all people to their port kingdom, letting justice prevail over vengeance, and calm over anger.  He spoke of the Northuldra people as peace-loving, and the battle at the border as a confusing chaos where the magical elements had attacked Arendellian and Northuldra without discrimination.  He stated that he saw his father fall to his death, but not by whose hand.   He declared that both the Northuldra spears and Arendellian swords had been directed at the attacking Earth Giants and gusts of fire.  She wondered at the mist that closed over all of them now, and knew it weighed heavily on him, though he did not want to talk about it with her.

Sometimes their bodies spoke without any words needed.  She thought they were best at understanding each other through touch, though it made her blush to think of it.  She couldn’t have told him her birthday or her mother’s name or the color of her eyes unless she looked in the mirror yet she seemed to know how to kiss the curve of his neck, stroke the plane of his back, admire the cords of muscle along his arm and encourage the tickle of his mustache on her stomach. Her favorite evenings were the two of them in their wide bed, exploring each other and needing no words to do so.  In their bed, it was just the two of them, and figuring out what they liked wasn't frustrating like learning the names of all the monarchs of Europe or the rank of each council member. His pleasure and hers were a delicious goal to seek, an assignment she enjoyed as much as he clearly did.

It became easier to look forward instead of back once she was expecting.  Agnarr had nearly wept at the news, solemnly promising to love her and the baby more than his duty to his kingdom.  Linnea had begged to be named godmother. Thea helped her let out dresses, confessing that she hoped to be doing the same for herself in a year or so, if only her parents would let her and Elias set the wedding date.  Elias had come to congratulate Agnarr, but left in anger. She supposed it had to do with his own delayed wedding plans and the frustrations that went along with that.

The Arendelle dishes she learned to like became unbearable in the first few months, and all she could eat for a while was fjellbrød and pepperkaker, the ginger soothing her riotous stomach. Just walking through Market Square and smelling the fish market was enough to send her to gutters, adding the contents of her stomach to the waste there. She had to excuse herself from a state dinner when the delegation from Finland presented a tray of lutefisk, the graying mass of it taking up residence in her nose.

Then, suddenly, at four months she was ravenous.  Agnarr delighted in feeding her, making a game of it.  The kitchen staff made meals of every nation they knew, and each dinner was a tasting course to see what the queen liked and what she politely declined.  She felt her happiness swell with her growing baby, and thought Agnarr’s was too. She felt powerful in their lovemaking, her round middle and full breasts proof that her body and his had communion.  Look what our bodies can do, look what we did. Look at the family we are making, look at this life I am building.

***

Iduna had few memories.  And she was eager to make more.  She walked in the Market Square, sometimes with Agnarr, sometimes with just her guard, and learned the names of the shopkeepers and shoeshiners and the merchants setting up carts with blocks of ice or fresh produce from the outlying farms.

She walked along the docks, giving out food to the women there whose fate she might have had if the Calders had not intervened, and learned the names of the boats and their crews. She learned the time of day that school let out for lunch and met the children with treats on Fridays, and when she learned one of the teachers was feeling ill, she sent her home and read the children stories until the end of the day.  Later, the queen’s physician came to call on the woman with a basketful of food and medicine, packed by Iduna. 

She judged the Harvest Festival Pumpkin Carving Contest and then gamely wore the pumpkin crown that was carved by her husband in one of the most popular events of the day.  She and Agnarr stayed for the length of the festivities, and when she showed him how swollen her feet became after standing for most of the day, he carried her back home to the castle.

The people of Arendelle watched as the queen grew and shouted name suggestions for the baby when they saw her.  Some gave her gifts – a carved reindeer, a cornhusk doll, a crown of entwined crocus stems and petals.  She cherished them all and felt the hard plane of the wood, the rough and delicate husk, the velvety softness of the petals as she thought These are my people now.  I belong here.

***

In November, Iduna and Thea picked flowers from the castle greenhouse for Thea’s bridal bouquet.  Thea confessed to feeling nervous about the act of consummating the marriage, even though it had been difficult to wait through such a long engagement.

“Will it hurt? Will it be awkward? Will we just laugh and not be able to?”

“I thought it would be awkward, us not knowing each other well.”  Iduna blushed, but continued.  “But for a time it was all we could do well, without awkwardness.  He was always hesitating before speaking, or starting to say something but then stopping. Perhaps that's the royal way? To be so guarded?” She blushed again. “But alone in our bedchamber, there is no hesitation.”  She sighed, turning her head away from Thea, fingering the petals of a tulip. “I suppose he is a king. And was a young, eligible prince for a long time.  I'm sure he had many opportunities to woo the ladies and learn.”

Thea selected a crocus and then reached for a rose.  “I've lived here my whole life but there's never even been a hint of him courting anyone.  Elias never mentioned anything either.” She shrugged. “But I suppose there are other ways of learning.”

Iduna cut the stem of the tulip she had inspected and handed it to Thea. “When you know each other as well as you and Elias do, it is sure to be wonderful.” She smiled, feeling mischievous.  “Or it’ll become wonderful after the first few tries.”

***

Agnarr had one arm on the rope, and one around Iduna. The castle courtyard was packed with citizens eager to celebrate the start of the season. As Agnarr pulled on the rope and rung the bell, the crowd erupted in cheers and whistles. 

“You’ve done this, Agnarr.  You’ve turned their mourning into joy.”

He leaned down to kiss her, and the crowds cheered even louder.  “No, you have.”

***

When Elsa was born later that month, it coincided with a blizzard that shut down the ports for a month.  The fjord was frozen over, which no one could remember happening ever before.  Agnarr was secretly delighted. He leaned Iduna against his chest as she held Elsa to hers, and the soft hair on Elsa’s head, so white it seemed invisible until touched. “What a boon! To have more time with our daughter and with you.”

The council carried out Agnarr’s orders to pay the workers usually dependent on trade and the sea their usual wage, even though they could not work. “Call it a gift to the kingdom to celebrate the arrival of our princess!” When Lord Hannesel protested, Agnarr was firm.  “My father levied taxes that were overmuch.  We can give back to the people this way, in their time of need.”

Iduna tried to wrap the baby tightly and sit close to the fire. But for all that baby Elsa seemed cold, with hands like icicles and layers of frost on her blanket in the morning despite the roaring fire in her nursery, she was a happy baby.  When she smiled at six weeks of age, Agnarr stroked her cheek and said “Just like your Mama! A smile fit for a queen!”

Iduna felt the familiar sensation of tears in her eyes, something that had been happening frequently during the pregnancy and still now in these early stages of motherhood and little sleep.  She thought Here is a person who looks like me.  And she will always know where she belongs and who she is. She closed her eyes and made it a promise, a vow, a hope, a prayer.

***

“It’s so dark in here.” Iduna said as she walked past Agnarr, pushing a sleeping Elsa in a pram, and drew back the curtains. Dust fell lightly from them, making her cough, and she shielded Elsa’s face from it.  Agnarr was still standing in the doorway.  When she saw him, frozen by the open door, she walked back to him and gently took his hand.  “It’s time.  You want to do this.”

He squeezed her hand and shook his head, looking down at the wooden floors.  “I don’t really want to.  But I should do it.  It’s been a year. I should look through his desk and his belongings and see if anything should be archived or shared with the council.”

“Has no one been here since he died?”

“No one.  I told the servants to seal it off.  I wish I could have just forgotten about him entirely.  It would be easier to sort out my emotions that way.” Agnarr’s head jerked up quickly, a stricken look on his face.  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

“It sounds like he was a hard man. I can see how your feelings for him would be complicated.”

Agnarr sighed and walked further into the room.  He hesitated behind the large cherry wood writing desk. Iduna walked behind him and picked up a portrait in a gilded frame and ran her finger over the woman’s face.  “I see you in her.  Is this your mother?”

“Yes.” Agnarr smiled.  “She died when I was a small child and I don’t remember her much. My father always wanted to tell me about her, but I never wanted to hear it.  I thought knowing her would make me miss her more.”  He paused.  “Is – is it better, do you think? To not know what you’re missing? Is that how it is for you?”

Iduna leaned down to kiss Elsa’s head and then straightened to answer.  “I think I would rather know who my mother is and miss her. The feeling of loss is still there.  I would like to have a name for it.”  She put the picture back on the desk and picked up a stack of papers.  “Now.  Let’s get to work.”

***

They sorted the letters from the receipts and council notes, read aloud correspondence from a fussy Duke of Weselton, and laughed over a series of portraits that Iduna found of a ten-year-old Agnarr, chest puffed out with pride and hair neatly combed back.  When cooing issued from the pram Iduna picked up Elsa and nursed, sitting in the large chair behind the desk.  Agnarr smiled at her and started in on the next stack.  Iduna let her eyes close as Elsa nursed, enjoying the sense of accomplishment that nourishing her baby gave her.  She might not be able to give Elsa portraits of herself as a child or a family home steeped in tradition and riches, but she would be her mother, she would give her what she needed, and she could give her as many memories as she could hold.

She heard the soft rustle of papers stop and opened her eyes.  “Did you find anything?”

Agnarr was squinting and reading the document again. “Listen to this.  My King, The troops are readied for our trek to the North, though they do not as of yet know the orders you plan to give.  We will be armed and ready to attack at your direction. The soldiers have not attacked civilians, have been trained never to do so unless it’s life or death, so you may have trouble with compliance on that.  I will do my best to ensure that bloodshed is minimal and that we are victorious in annexation. – General Sorensen.”

“Your father planned the attack? The one that killed him?”

Agnarr looked at the letter again. “So he started the battle.  He was killed in retaliation, not in ambush.”

Iduna watched as several different emotions passed over his face: anger, sadness, and then – was that hope?

“I’ll show this to the council.  We’ll organize a day of lamentation for our kingdom’s plot and the soldiers we lost to the mist as a result.  We will pray and seek forgiveness and atone.” He looked up from the letter and into her eyes, the intensity of his feelings clear.  “Perhaps it will be enough to begin talks for peace among the council.  And perhaps – maybe – it is what will bring down the mist.”

***

The bishop bowed his head and those in the chapel followed suit. “We ask for mercy and we ask for forgiveness.”

“Oh Lord, hear our prayer.” The many voices of a full congregation – Agnarr and Iduna, the families of missing soldiers, the Council members, the leaders of industry, the farmers, and the working men and women of the kingdom echoed in reply.  Crowded into the pews, they all hoped for a change in the mist.

“Our nation has sought its own glory and not yours, we have sought to conquer the land rather than steward it, we have sought to rule over our fellow man instead of treat him as an equal.  We ask for mercy and we ask for forgiveness.”

“Oh Lord, hear our prayer.”

“Friends, hear the promise of the gospel.  In Jesus Christ, you are forgiven. Amen”

Agnarr bowed his head with the rest, but prayed also to the spirits, that the Air, Earth, Wind and Fire would see fit to release the Enchanted Forest from the grip of the mist it had sealed it with.  He prayed that his daughter would grow up knowing the two halves of her identity, and that Iduna’s identity would be restored to her. He prayed for his soldiers, for his kingdom, and for his family, and he wasn’t sure who he trusted to answer the prayer.

***

Spring came late and the castle still felt cold. There were drafts of icy air as late as May and Agnarr asked the servants to seal up wherever the cold was coming from, not wanting his wife or child to catch a chill.

Then on a warm day in June while the royal family sat on a blanket in the sun, baby Elsa propped into a seated position between them, they watched as her hands that had been empty only a moment ago were suddenly holding a ball of ice.

“Where did that come from? That bit of ice she has?” Iduna reached for it, feeling the coldness of it and her daughter’s hands, checking for frostbite on her fingers.  

They watched as Elsa clapped her hands together and snowflakes fell between them.

“Is she – is she making that? Is she making snow? Is she making ice?” Agnarr’s voice was incredulous. “I’ve never heard of a child doing that.  Here or in any kingdom, even those with more magic.”

Iduna picked Elsa up quickly and laid her in her lap, checking her feet, her arms, her legs.  “Is this my fault? Is this something common where I am from? Have I cursed our daughter with magic that will be dangerous to her?” Her questions had become frantic, the words pushed against each other as she said them.

“No!” Agnarr’s answer was quick and she looked over at him.  He reached for Elsa and picked her up under her arms, lifting her high in the air.  “No.  Elsa is a gift.  Her magic is a gift.  And we will work to make the kingdom safe for a magical queen.”

“People were lynched less than a year ago for being associated with the spirits of the Enchanted Forest.  The day of lamentation might have swayed some hearts on the Northuldra, but not all.  And mothers tell their children stories about the terrible trolls who kidnap little ones with glowing crystals that tell the future.  People don’t trust magic. How can you keep her safe? She’ll be in danger every day if people find out!”

Agnarr brought Elsa down to his chest, holding her with one arm, and put his other around Iduna.  “No, we’ll protect her. She can learn to control it I’m sure. ‘Til then we’ll lock the gates. Reduce the staff. We will limit her contact with people. We’ll keep her powers hidden from everyone.”

Iduna shook her head, reaching to hold Elsa’s hand.  “Won’t that raise suspicion? Suddenly changing staff and access to the castle?”

“Not for a new royal family who wants their privacy.  I can explain it simply, believably.”  

Iduna breathed in deeply, leaning into his side.  Elsa blew bubbles, and as they dribbled out of her mouth, they turned to wisps of snow, floating away but never melting in the heat of the June sun.

That night in their bedchamber, he reassured her with kisses, nuzzling into her neck and laying her down on the crisp linen sheets. They grasped and pulled at each other, desperation and worry dissipating into the pleasure of his hands on her thighs and her legs wrapped around him. As they rocked into each other, their steady rhythm and the press of their bodies was soothing, like a cry for mercy or a prayer of hope.

***

“I won’t sign this.” Lord Hannesel crossed his arms and sat back in his chair. “This is not good for our kingdom.”

“Our kingdom wrongfully attacked another, with no provocation.  We must sign this declaration of peace and post it – on the docks, in the Byrett, near the stones where the mist begins.  It will serve as a sign of our intention to keep to our own borders and to respect the lands and resources of the Northuldra as a distinct sovereign power from our own.”

“It will serve as a sign of our weakness!” Lord Hannesel spat out his words, derision in them.  “A sign of a young king who is afraid of battle.  Your father was not afraid.”

“My father committed war crimes.”  Agnarr pushed the paper across his desk, pointing to the inkwell.  “All of the other council members have signed.  Willingly and happily.  You will sign too or you will resign your position on my council.”

Lord Hannesel stood, pushing the document away. “Your father was right about you.  You’re too soft.  And he was right to not tell you of his plans for annexation. You wouldn’t have understood the need to display military might then and you aren’t making the right choice for your kingdom now.”

Agnarr stayed seated and calm, mustering as much command into his voice as he could. “I am making the right choice for my kingdom.  You are no longer welcome in my council or in my confidence.”

Lord Hannesel turned to leave, the edge of his coat knocking the inkwell over and it looked to Agnarr like a seeping wound on the desk, soaking and sprawling, spreading its stain.

***

For Elsa’s first birthday, every child in Arendelle was given a book of fairy tales and fireworks lit the cloudy sky. The castle gates were opened for a celebration in the courtyard and Iduna hoped any signs of snow or ice could be blamed on the December weather.

After having the gates closed for half of the year, it felt disorienting to have them opened again.  There were too many eager faces and curious looks, and all Iduna could think about was a mob hurting her baby like the rioters had done to the Northuldra traders not even two years before.

Iduna rocked Elsa long after she had fallen asleep, needing to feel the motion of it and the crush of her daughter’s body against hers.  Agnarr came into the nursery at midnight and found Elsa asleep in her crib and Iduna asleep in the rocking chair, their hands linked through the slats of the crib.  

He ran his hand along Iduna’s cheek and then scooped her into his arms, tucking her head against his chest and walking them back to their bedroom.  She awoke as he settled her into their bed.

“I have a gift for you as well.  It’s not complete yet, but it will be by summer.  By the time we need to keep Elsa’s powers more hidden.”  He curled his body around hers and spoke into her hair.  She sighed and settled into him, feeling safe and warm.  “It’s a cottage on our border, near the Enchanted Forest. The architects are calling it the Royal Sommerhus. A barn and attached guesthouse for servants if you want some there.” He nuzzled against her neck under her ear, giving it a small kiss.  “We can go when the weather is warm to keep her from suspicion.  Open the gates here again, stay at the castle only in winter. The Sommerhus will be our refuge in the warm months.”

Iduna turned so she was facing him and placed a hand on his cheek. “That’s good.  Thank you..”  She kissed him, grateful.  “Did you give out the fairy tale books so that some in the kingdom might long for magic instead of fear it?”

Agnarr smiled and she saw hope in his eyes. The promise of a better future. “I did.  And it might.  We can hope.”

Iduna touched her nose to his.  “We can.”

***

Iduna hoped but she also researched.  She bought books on enchantments and spells, hunted down by a broker in town who thought they were being bought by a royal dressmaker looking for unique ideas.  She asked Captain Calder to tell her about the various ports of call he had seen while still sailing, paying particular attention to those with fantastical or magical elements.  She learned about undead pirates who were cursed to sail forever, mermaids who sang so beautifully it drove men mad, princes who transformed into beasts.  But nothing about ice or snow. She used a room next to the library, not exactly a secret from Agnarr, but not something she shared with him.  Because she was beginning to suspect that she had brought this to Arendelle.  That wherever she was from was central to the mystery of understanding their daughter.

She was coming to believe that Agnarr might think so too.  Though they had been married for almost two years now, he still seemed closed off, unwilling to tell her certain things.  He wouldn’t talk about the day that made him king, or about what the conflicts with his father were about.  He had been silent to her teasing questions about how he learned to be so skilled at the movement of their bodies together.  Could her past be poisoning their marriage, even though she didn’t know what it was?

After months of this, the answer came quite suddenly.  Iduna and a maid were giving Elsa a bath.  As Iduna wrapped her in a warm towel, she hummed a tune under her breath.

“What’s that, You Highness? What’s that you’re singing?”

Iduna stopped and thought about it.  “I don’t know.  It just came to me. I suppose I’ve heard it in the Market Square?” She sang a few more notes of it and stopped when the maid tilted her head.

“Pardon me for saying, Your Highness, but that’s a Northuldra lullaby.  How do you know it?”

Iduna shook her head, fear rising in her chest.  “I…I don’t know.”

She handed Elsa to the maid, directing her to dress her and walked quickly down the hall to the library.  She thumbed through the books until she came to the section on foreign kingdoms, her fingers shaking as she felt on the spines and squinted her eyes to read the dusty titles.  No one used this section, but she knew there were some books in the Northuldra language here.  She found one and pulled it down, opening it up, and immediately dropping it.

It was written in Northuldra runes.

And she understood it perfectly.

***

“I need to tell you about my past. And where I’m from.” His fingers touched her hair and she nestled her cheek against his palm.

“I’m listening.”

It was always easiest to talk to him when they were touching.  She thought about how safe he always made her feel, how he had promised that he would keep his vows to her even if she was a pirate. But wasn’t it worse if she was Northuldra, at least for most in Arendelle? He might be trying to change that perception with apologies and justice, but would he really want his wife to be from the tribe that murdered his father? Where Arendellian soldiers were still stranded in the mist or killed in battle? She shivered and leaned closer to him, the words barely above a whisper. “I think I’m Northuldra.”

He stiffened, but didn’t pull away, so she continued.  “I can read their runes and I know one of their songs.  I know the language.” She looked up to his eyes, but she wasn’t sure what they held.  They were glassy and shone with something she couldn’t comprehend.  She swallowed hard and drove on, praying he would believe her.  “I didn’t realize until today -” With a shock she realized that he was crying.  His tears were running down his face and falling to her arm.   He leaned his forehead against hers and let out a deep sigh. He was silent for a long moment.

“You are.  You’re Northuldra. We escaped the battle with the spirits, the North Wind helped us flee, and I brought you out of the wood before it closed.”  He gripped her tightly against him and gently rubbed his thumb over her cheek.  “You were injured.  Somehow, you had hit your head.  You were unconscious - barely breathing.  I didn’t know how to help you.  So I took you to the trolls.  They could save your life, save your mind, but it came at the cost of your memory.  They warned me it might - but I couldn’t live without you, Iduna.”

Iduna drew back, tensing, her heart pounding and her breath coming in gasps.  It was too much, all at once.  He had said it so quickly, like it was a relief to say the words, but there was no feeling of relief for her. “You’ve known? You’ve known me and not told me who I am?”

She pulled away from him and he reached for her, palms up, arms outstretched.  “I wanted to keep you safe! I was worried you’d be killed if people knew!”

“But to keep it from me? You could keep it from others, Agnarr, but you should still have told me! Do you trust me so little?  I am your wife!” She continued to back away from him, hugging herself tightly and focusing on her anger to keep the tears out of her voice.

“Please, Iduna, I just wanted to keep you safe!”

“No!”  She began to cry, choking on her words as she did. “You didn’t trust me!  You didn’t trust me with the truth. Or is it that you don’t trust any Northuldra? That you wanted me to stay ignorant about my past so I would be the perfect queen, no wild ways or savage impulses?”

Agnarr took a step back, his hands still reaching for her.  “No! No, of course not! I love you and I love the ways of the Northuldra! I want peace between our people!”

She scoffed. “So I’m a token, a way to gain their trust if the mist ever opens? Queen Iduna, the Northuldra bride?”  Her voice cracked on the last word.  “How could you use me like that?”

“Iduna, I love you!”  He said desperately.  “I loved you before any of that happened. We were handfast to one another a year before the battle, before any of this.  I was wrong to lie, but it was to keep you safe! Please, believe me!”

She swallowed, her voice a whisper.  “Do I have a mother? Father? Brothers or sisters?”

He spoke gently, still trying to touch her but she stepped away again and he stopped moving.  His hands dropped uselessly to his sides.  “Yes.  Your mother and father and three older brothers loved you very much and you loved them.  But...the battle was so chaotic, and you and I were away from where it started. I don’t know who else besides my father was killed.”

She backed up until she hit the doorknob of their room.  “I’m leaving.  Elsa and I. I’m taking her.  I can’t - I can’t look at you.” She reached behind her, gripped the doorknob with white knuckles, turned and ran until she got to Elsa’s nursery. Iduna collapsed next to the crib, silently weeping so as not to wake their child.

[mariska]

well, today marks the 8th year anniversary of the day that Lollipop Chainsaw was released, which is absolutely bonkers. here is me the first time i did mariska cosplay makeup on myself vs the most recent time i did for the occasion! (left pic is from the beginning of 2013 when i was 15, right pic is from a few months ago this year right before i turned 23)

i’ve made a few very similar posts celebrating the anniversary of its’ release over the years, but i always get very nostalgic about it this time of year because, as silly as it sounds, this game literally changed the course of my life in a very positive way. so i’m gonna write about what it means to me for the millionth time under the ‘read more’ here, lol. 

i turned 15 in may of 2012 and it was probably the most difficult year of my life. i’d been homeschooled for a couple years at that point because a number of issues had prevented me from being able to stay in public school any longer, and i’d just come out of a not great year in 2011 where i had attempted to try and go back to a public school setting for my first year of high school and it went really bad. i had lost contact with all but one of my friends that i used to hang out with in person and barely talked to anyone except my parents and my therapist anymore. i was extremely depressed and attempting to work through PTSD but a lot of the trauma was still so fresh. my anxiety was so severe that having a brief interaction with a cashier at a store would cause me to throw up half of the time. it was getting more difficult to be passionate about anything with every passing day and i spent a lot of time feeling hopeless that i was doomed to spend the rest of my life anxious and alone. at the end of that year, my health took a nosedive and i got my first auto-immune disease diagnosis, starting what would be a life-long journey of dealing with chronic illness and chronic pain, and having to juggle constant hospital visits/drs appointments and flare-ups of scary symptoms that i had no idea how to process (on top of my pre-existing mental health issues, and on top of the fact that i am autistic and didn’t know this at the time/wasn’t receiving any kind of professional validation for that yet)

lollipop chainsaw was the first game i ever pre-ordered and i was looking forward to a fun, mindless distraction the day it released. i beat the main story the next day and had an absolute blast with it, so i went to check if anyone was talking about it on tumblr and discovered that a couple of people had made some ‘ask blogs’ where they were going to roleplay as the characters and answer questions as them. i thought that sounded like a fun way to maybe get to interact with a few people, so i made one for my favorite character, mariska, and introduced myself to the other people i found. 

it is absolutely wild to think that i would most likely have a very, very different life if i hadn’t made that blog. i owe so much to that community of people and the friends that i made on there. it encouraged me to start talking to people again, both in and out of character. it re-ignited my passions for writing, which i hadn’t done anything with in years, and art, and MUSIC, oh my GOD. i learned about so many new musical artists i’d never listened to before. i discovered that mariska’s voice actor, shawnee smith, had a music career of her own and totally fell in love with her songs, which led me to watching a bunch of her other films/shows, which led me to Saw, which led me to HORROR, my FAVORITE movie genre ever and a passion that literally defines a huge chunk of my life now. hearing her sing made me want to be a musician. my parents bought me my first guitar as a gift and i was over the moon with happiness. i started taking music lessons with a music teacher who i was really able to connect with and began writing my own songs in my spare time. then, for my 16th birthday, my parents surprised me with a record player and took me out to the nearest music store so i could pick out a big stack of cheap, used records of bands i’d only ever heard mentioned a couple times before in my life. 

my life changed, completely. i spent all day rotating between writing as mariska on my roleplay blog, to creating art, to sitting on my bed and doodling in sketch books while i played Jefferson Airplane and Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd and Aerosmith and Rolling Stones and Supertramp and Earth, Wind & Fire and etc etc etc on my record player for hours. i started spending birthday/christmas gift money on clothes i found at thrift stores and discovered that i felt more like myself in a used dress from the ‘60s than i ever did in the modern clothes i was used to wearing. 

i had passions again, and friends, and i was happy to be alive. i’ve said it so many times before, but i literally do not think i would have survived that era of my life if it weren’t for the friends, connections, hobbies and general love for life that i was able to find just from being a part of the lollipop chainsaw fan community that year. it truly saved my life and i will never be able to properly thank everyone who had a part in that for how they helped me cope with everything.

happy 8th anniversary, lollipop chainsaw!! i cannot believe it’s almost been a decade now. what a long strange trip it’s been etc etc. lmao

<3

[soccerdailyuk]

Man City could get pre-season boost they haven't had in three years

Man City could get pre-season boost they haven't had in three years Manchester City have dominated the Premier League for the past three years, winning consecutive titles and playing innovative football. They achieved these victories without a striker for two years and without a left-back in the 2022/23 season, utilizing their versatile squad effectively. However, it's important to remember that their success wasn't without challenges. They secured the league title on the final day of the 2021/22 season, preventing Liverpool's strong challenge. Additionally, Arsenal seemed likely to win the Premier League in the previous season before faltering towards the end. In 2021, City had to cope without Sergio Aguero for the majority of the time and adopted a rotating false nine strategy. It's worth noting that Manchester City has faced difficulties in getting off to a strong start in each of their previous campaigns. They have often relied on a streak of victories during the mid-season to surpass their closest competitor. However, this year, they possess all the necessary elements to begin strongly and maintain their momentum from the beginning. In 2021, Manchester City faced a challenging situation with no pre-season due to their previous campaign's late conclusion in the rearranged Champions League knockout stages. They had just a month's break before the start of the new season, resulting in a lack of friendly matches. To compensate for their limited preparations, City were given an additional week before the season began. The impact of this unconventional pre-season was evident as they managed only six wins from the first 13 games in the Premier League. They even dropped as low as 14th in the league standings and were positioned ninth after the initial 13 matches. However, their fortunes changed dramatically with a remarkable 13-game winning streak that laid the foundation for their eventual title triumph. The following summer, the postponed Euro 2020 tournament took place, involving players from City as well. Several players reached the latter stages of the tournament, including representatives from England, Spain, Belgium, and Ukraine. Consequently, when the City squad reconvened for pre-season, many players had only recently concluded their previous seasons, leading to a disrupted squad for the three home friendlies against Preston, Barnsley, and Blackpool, all held at the Academy Stadium. The start of the 2021/22 season showed slight improvement compared to the previous year, although there were still four draws or defeats in the opening 10 games, including a loss in the Community Shield against Leicester City, with several senior players unavailable. City remained in fifth place until the fifth week of the season and only took over the top position in the table after 15 games. However, a remarkable 12-game winning streak between November and January helped them regain momentum, ultimately leading to a title-winning performance on the final day, with Ilkay Gundogan's heroics against Aston Villa proving crucial. Last summer, City made their first foreign pre-season tour since 2019 by going to the USA. However, their camp in Houston was disrupted because four important players - Laporte, Stones, Foden, and Gundogan - were absent. Laporte was injured, while Stones, Foden, and Gundogan were not allowed to enter the US. Before the first friendly match, there were some challenges for City. Akanji and Gomez had not yet been signed, Dias was ill, and only Ake was fit among the center-backs. Ake played alongside youngster Luke Mbete, while midfielder Kalvin Phillips came off the bench to play in defense. During the tour, all attention was on Erling Haaland. However, he didn't participate in the first friendly due to fitness management, and his debut in Green Bay was cut short after 14 minutes due to a severe thunderstorm. When the game resumed against Bayern Munich after a delay of around 90 minutes, it was shortened to 80 minutes, disrupting the momentum. City performed well throughout the season, consistently staying in the top two. However, they dropped points in three matches within the first 10 games, giving Arsenal an advantage. It took them 28 attempts to win more than three consecutive games. Eventually, they went on a run of 12 consecutive wins. The World Cup also affected the flow of the season, and Guardiola regretted the slow start and the missed opportunity in the USA with several key players absent. If City's squad is indeed mostly fit when they start pre-season, it could provide Guardiola with a significant advantage that has eluded him for the past three seasons. Winning the Champions League means City will have more matches to play this season, making a strong start in the Premier League crucial. The only concern seems to be Kevin De Bruyne and his hamstring injury, but without a major summer tournament, Guardiola's players should be well-rested after a full month off. City will face challenging opponents such as Yokohama, Atletico Madrid, and Bayern in Japan and South Korea before the Community Shield match against Arsenal. With tough competition and a fully fit and rested squad, Guardiola will be in a better position at the start of the new season compared to the past three years when they won the title. Man City could get pre-season boost they haven't had in three years Read the full article

[homenum-revelio-hq]

Welcome (again) to the Order of the Phoenix, Karli!

You have been accepted for the role of BENJY FENWICK with the faceclaim change of Nick Robinson, along with the requested bio changes! I loved how you dug into and fleshed-out Benjy’s ills and issues without obscuring the bright, optimistic (naive) core of him. I also adored reading the relationships section and how you wove so many other members of the Order into his life and perspective. I can’t wait to see him interact with everybody on the dash! I’m so glad you’ve decided to bring us the rest of the Chaos Trio!

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME: Karli

AGE: 29

TIMEZONE: CST

ACTIVITY LEVEL: Same as it has been, fairly active. Less so in the fall when school starts up again.

ANYTHING ELSE: None.

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Benjy Fenwick

AGE: 19 | September 18, 1962

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Cis-Male, Him/Him, Heterosexual. 

Benjy is very comfortable with his sexuality and isn’t afraid to be friends with people who are not heterosexual. In fact, a majority of his friendships are with people who are discovering their sexuality or already identify as LGBTQ. With a gay father, he sometimes considers himself “knowing” and forgets that his experience is very privileged. Just because he’s accepting and aware doesn’t mean he truly gets it and, being young, that’s sometimes hard to remember.

BLOOD STATUS: Half-Blood

HOUSE ALUMNI: Ravenclaw

ANY CHANGES: Even though I wrote the bio and the FC originally, the more I solidified Benjy in my mind, some of the things I originally wrote ended up needing to be changed. For instance, I would like to change my FC to Nick Robinson. As I got to know Benjy, I realized that KJ’s expressions and resources didn’t really fit the mold I’d created with this portrayal. Also, I think it might be important to change the “he’s the newest member” thing in the second part of the bio, as he is no longer the newest member - just started that way when the roleplay began. I would also like to change the Caradoc connection up a bit - I will include it below under “relationships.”

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY: 

The first thing many people notice about Benjy Fenwick is his energy. He is very talkative and likeable in the sense he’ll not only talk to someone, he wants them to talk back. He’s a good listener, even if he doesn’t always look like it. With that energy needing to go somewhere, it’s not always easy for him to sit still (something that the healers were frustrated by during his recovery) and often will be found moving around or doing something with his hands. This can be offensive to those people he’s supposed to be listening to - but he does keep his ears open, even if his eyes aren’t concentrated.

He likely has a mild case of undiagnosed ADHD - which sometimes shows up in the form of struggling to stay focused and hyperactivity. This happens, typically, with those things he cares less about. He could talk for hours about Quidditch without needing a break (or used to, anyway, it hurts a bit more now that he’s on the outside of the sport) and even the art of healing has become important enough to him to have much of his attention. The program at St. Mungo’s is harder for Benjy, given his need for extra support that wouldn’t be given in the Wizarding World, but he manages to stay afloat, even if he’s not at the top of the program.

Benjy is accepting and loving, but sometimes has the complex that he doesn’t really have to do much soul-searching - or doesn’t really have to grow. In modern terms, Benjy thinks himself to be “woke” without realizing that his naivety means he still has a lot of self-awareness left to find. Just because he sees an experience doesn’t mean he knows that experience - and he might need someone to force him to take a step back and really look. 

Currently, he’s in a bit of an identity-crisis. For years, Quidditch had been his focus. It had been his life. He chose healing, not because of passion, but because of a lack of other things he could think of. When Quidditch ended, the hospital visits began and the healing program sort of fell into his lap. He is learning to find a love for healing, but it hasn’t fully developed yet. 

Benjy is curious and creative. There is a reason he was sorted into Ravenclaw - and it isn’t the stereotypical “booksmart.” He learned that Ravenclaws often have an open-mindedness about them that allows for thought in different ways. While he’s not very artistic, his creativity comes in the ability to think outside the box and look at things from a new perspective. This helped him with his Quidditch skills and it could help within the Order, too. 

He doesn’t always come off as though he truly cares, however. Because he picks and chooses what to really put his heart into, sometimes he might seem indifferent to others’ suffering or what they have to say. He’s got a bit of that British-polite in him and doesn’t always stick up for what’s right without someone backing him up. For this, he is a follower. He was pulled into the Order by Dorcas - and doesn’t really do much within the organization without someone telling him what to do. He might get radical at times, but that’s only because Dorcas is telling him to be. He’s a Yes Man in that way and often struggles to make his own decisions. Without her pressure, he likely wouldn’t be in the Order right now and just safely hiding under the radar as a “normal” half-blood.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY: 

(Once again, this isn’t brief and it’s about his whole life, not just family WHOOPS!)

Benjy was seven years old when his father, Jaison, came out as homosexual. Benjy’s mother, Maeve, had been mildly shocked for a bit before praising her husband for his true acceptance of self. They promptly divorced, but remained friendly and shared custody of their two children. Benjy’s sister, Haley, was too young to ever remember a time where their parents were together - so the situation of co-parenting and blended family structure had always been her normal.

For Benjy, it was a bit tougher. He was confused by the fact that Daddy and Mummy weren’t together anymore, but still spent time together. He questioned a bit about love in the capacity a child could. Until he met Lucas. His dad had taken months with Lucas before feeling comfortable enough to introduce his kids, but Benjy learned a bit about love watching his father with his boyfriend. Eventually, Lucas became a staple in the Fenwicks’ life, moving in with Jaison despite their inability to get married.

What won Benjy over about Lucas was Quidditch. While Maeve worked for the Department of Magical Games and Sports, it wasn’t until Lucas entered his life that Benjy actually got to go see a Quidditch match. They would go to as many as they could, buying food from the stances and watching the players fly high into the air, shooting the Quaffle or knocking the bludger or catching the snitch.

He learned to fly early. With his mum at one home and his step-dad at the other, Benjy always had someone to practice with. He grew to love the position of Keeper best. The idea that he was in charge of surveying the entire pitch - that he was the final defense against the opposition and the goal - was exhilarating. He lived and breathed the sport and, by the time he went to Hogwarts, he had his life planned out.

Ravenclaw was surprising until he met some friends and learned the house was about creativity along with intelligence. It helped with his game. Benjy didn’t need a crystal ball to tell him his future: he would get on the team his second year, he’d be promoted to captain by fifth year, get scouted during seventh, preferably by the Falmouth Falcons.

But then a bludger hit towards him by the Gryffindor team’s beater, which caused Benjy to roll the wrong way - he’d practiced the Zelig Flip a thousand times, but he’d positioned his hand a bit too much to the left and slipped. The fall from such an incredible height should’ve killed him - he was lucky, they said. You should be dead, they said. And Benjy wanted to shout but a life without Quidditch is death! 

Perhaps the worst thing of all - besides the injuries and healers and learning to put weight on his leg again - was that the Falcon scout had been there. He wouldn’t play again - he couldn’t play again. And the person he most wanted to impress witnessed it all.

He was back at Hogwarts by the time N.E.W.T.s rolled around, but spent the better part of the year between St. Mungo’s and the school. It was because of this he recklessly - and without much thought - applied to the healing program at the hospital. He got in, accepted, and mourned the loss of who he was supposed to have been. Perhaps Dorcas recognized his identity-crisis because he barely thought about it before agreeing to join the Order with her. Searching for something to fight for again.

OCCUPATION: Healer-In-Training at St. Mungo’s. 

Benjy applied for the healing program upon graduation because he just didn’t know what else to do. It had never been a real passion for him - but the idea of Quidditch was over and he’d been spending so much time at the hospital lately that he went for it. His N.E.W.T.s were just good enough to get him accepted. Looking back, it’s actually a good fit for him. It’s always different day-to-day, which keeps his interest, and learning all the new healing techniques quells his curious streak.

Currently, he’s still in year one of the two-to-three year program.Recently, he began the portion of the training that involves rotations, where he gets to spend some time in each of the wards of St. Mungos. During his third year, he will have to declare a speciality, but he has no clue what that will be. Right now, his favorite bits of healing have to do with the Order and working with Emmeline. 

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER: 

Benjy is a lower level member who joined the Order in September 1981, through Dorcas Meadowes’ pushiness encouragement. At the time, he was the newest member and knew little about the organization. As the months have passed and they’ve failed missions and lost members (most notably, one of Benjy’s idols, James Potter), he’s learned to grow more and more passionate about the cause.

He typically stays back during missions, both to help with healing given his qualifications, but also because he just physically can’t do all the dueling. His leg injury makes him slower and the slight tremors in his wand hand can be controlled in moments of healing, but not necessarily high-energy duels.

He believes in the Order, but isn’t overtly vocal about it. Given his nature as a Yes Man, he is known to nod and agree and go ohhh, so that’s how it is depending on whichever person is “explaining” things to him. This makes him fairly susceptible to manipulation - and often spouts Dorcas’ words rather than making his own opinion on the matter.

SURVIVAL: 

Benjy survives through his “normalcy.” He’s not rich, but he’s not poor. He’s not loud, but he’s not quiet, either. He’s a half-blood from a few generations back; nothing really special about it all. Had he become famous like he anticipated, the spotlight might be on him more. But, as it is, no one really cares much about the could’ve beens of the world. 

He lives with his mum in his childhood home, in his childhood room, and is more than ready to get the fuck outta there! It might be easier to sneak away if his sister wasn’t off at Hogwarts, but all his parents are worried about their son that nearly died. Since the fall, they’ve had eyes on him more than they might’ve had things panned out differently for him. Once allowing him to be fairly independent, now his mum wants to know where he’s going at night - and, whenever he’s at his dad’s, he has two sets of eyes watching over him. It’s rather exhausting making up lies or avoiding the question with the teenage-angst shout of I’m of-age now, Mum!

Still, he’s mostly under the radar and, if any of his parents suspect anything, no one has mentioned it to Benjy. He knows what they’d say if they do find out about the Order, however; they’d want him to stop. Maybe in the beginning, he would’ve listened. Now, especially with James’ death, he’s in too deep. And he likes that.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Dorcas Meadowes. Having been friends since their Hogwarts days, Benjy listens to her maybe more than anyone else. He’s very much the “Yes Man” when it comes to Dorcas - he joined the Order for her, helped with the creation of the Phoenix symbol before the explosion of the Atrium, and is willing to do more destruction for her. Benjy thinks of Dorcas as his best friend, though in truth, she might just be using him. He’s blind to it, whatever it is, and he’s bound to get himself hurt following in her footsteps.

Emma Vanity. A newer friend, but closer than most of the ones Benjy used to have in school (which mainly consisted of the Quidditch team and a few outliers, like Dorcas) these days. While the rest of his friends have moved on to other things not regarding the war, Emma found her way in it. She doesn’t need to fight - she’s a pretty, rich, pureblood, after all! - and Benjy admires that she is. 

Emmeline Vance. What started out as an odd pairing (seasoned, weary war healer and over-eager trainee with a limp) has become something really special. Benjy values Emmeline’s guidance more than any of the other “adults” (he’s an adult too, but different sort of adult!) in the Order. She’s sensible and level headed and nothing seems to shake her. She’s taught him more in battlefield healing than he learned in his first 6 months of healer training and he respects her. She might get a bit annoyed with all his antics, but he can make her smile! He knows she’s fond of him!

Caradoc Dearborn. Benjy judged Caradoc too harshly at first - a product of finding the Marauders so cool and knowing that at least half of them didn’t enjoy Caradoc’s presence. Once he learned that Dearborn did, in fact, play Quidditch in school - and once he actually talked to Caradoc - the tides have changed. They’re not close friends, but he’s not as much of a stick-in-the-mud as Benjy thought. 

(This is the connection I’d like to change, please!!)

Sirius Black. He’s very cool. Benjy bought a leather jacket because he saw Sirius wearing one, but then felt like an idiot, so it’s never been worn outside his own bedroom (and he’s sure Dorcas will make fun of him, if she ever sees it!). Benjy knows he’ll never be as effortlessly awesome as Sirius Black - the bloke always looks rather careless and that’s just so killer, man! - but he likes taking tips anyway. Maybe he’ll get a girlfriend if he’s more like Sirius. Now that James has died, the easy, cool bloke from before is shifting to something darker and that’s scary. Benjy doesn’t want to get rid of his old idol, but he also doesn’t want to die for Sirius. 

Dedalus Diggle. It might be calling the kettle black, but Diggle sort of annoys Benjy. He talks a lot - tinkers a lot - messes with things. And maybe that’s just Benjy seeing himself in Dedalus, but two people who are this energetic together can sometimes be a bit of an explosion.

Daisy Hookum. Benjy doesn’t know Daisy well at all. She was years ahead of him in school and was off on some Muggle retreat when Benjy joined the Order but, now that she’s back, he’s interested in some of the things she learned over there. Especially the Muggle sporting! 

Remus Lupin. Just before the disastrous event at the party, Remus was outed as a werewolf. Benjy never really got to know the bloke - he, too, was on some mission when Benjy joined up - but now he’s almost afraid of him. Benjy himself doesn’t realize that’s internalized prejudice coming into play… but he doesn’t want to become a werewolf!

Severus Snape. Benjy doesn’t know how to feel about Severus Snape. It’s clear that Sirius hates him, but Dorcas loves him. Those are two people who could really sway Benjy over to their side if he doesn’t quickly form his own opinion. Severus doesn’t really seem to care about Benjy, though, so it’s not really a priority. But if Severus does want people on his side in the Order, Benjy could be an easy target for loyalty. 

Isla Selwyn-Macmillan. She actually played Quidditch professionally for years - Benjy has old magazines with her picture in it! He’s a bit too afraid to ask her about her experience on the major league pitch, however - not just because he’s a bit starstruck, but also because it hurts to talk about what he might’ve been able to have, too. He doesn’t realize it wasn’t Isla’s choice to leave the sport, however. If he were to find out, they might be more kindred spirits than anyone would think.

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: Benjy/Chemistry. Since I made him straight explicitly for the goal of providing that “oh so woke, but not exactly” cis, white, straight dude, any ships would have to be heterosexual. But I’m open for whatever within that realm!

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

Benjy is right down the middle of privilege, meaning he doesn’t really get the perks of being a pureblood, but doesn’t get the prejudice of being a muggleborn. He’s a halfblood, white, cis-male wizard. His family grew up fairly middle class and, while his parents are divorced, they managed to stay friendly and Benjy never had to go through the trauma of feeling as though he had to choose.

With accepting parents, one of which is gay, Benjy has grown up learning about the importance of tolerance and acceptance. Because of this, he believes he’s (in modern terms) “woke.” However, there is still internalized prejudice in all of us. While he would never dare to utter the word mudblood and would scoff at someone who does, he still might look at a talented muggleborn with a bit of wow, look at that! as though it were surprising they could be just that good. He also wouldn’t fight the person using the word Mudblood. He would likely tell him it’s not cool, but forgive and move on easily. Not realizing that it wouldn’t be his place to forgive. It’s not his story to tell.

While he doesn’t hold the rhetoric of all werewolves are bad and all house-elves should be servants and other things along those lines, he inadvertently acts on it without knowing. It’s very naive -- “You mean werewolves don’t have canine teeth and claws in their human form?!” and “But don’t they like not getting paid?!” -- but Benjy is willing to listen and grow. He just sometimes forgets he still has room to grow because he generally does try to be accepting to all people and creatures. He also doesn’t always care enough to seek out more information because he doesn’t really think he needs it -- it doesn’t affect him. And that’s privilege. 

Being a straight bloke with a gay dad and a lot of LGBTQ friendships, he really thinks he understands sexuality. And maybe he gets some of it, but he doesn’t really “get it.” It’s not his experience. He’s also very confused about bisexuality, which makes sense given the timing of the world as well. What he saw in his life shaped his understanding of sexuality - his dad presented straight until he accepted his sexuality and then he was gay. Benjy gets that, but struggles to understand that there are sexualities in-between the two. For instance, Emma and Dorcas -- if they get together, he’d assume that means they’re lesbians, despite sexuality not being so clear cut as that. Once again, it doesn’t come with malicious intent or the desire to erase anyone… it’s just naivety. People need to teach him because he’s willing to learn. 

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? It’s the roleplay I created and I love how amazing it’s become. It’s honestly a bit eerily relevant to our life right now and I’d like to explore that with a different character than Regulus. Benjy more closely resembles James, but he’s still his own and he has a story to tell.

PLOT DROP IDEAS: All chalked out, sorry! All my ideas are already in the process through admin stuff. I’d love the chaos trio to fuck some shit up together, but that’s all I’ve got! 

ANYTHING ELSE? I’m not sure where else to discuss Benjy’s injuries, so I’ll just do it here. When he fell from his broom, he landed on his left side, which also happens to be his dominant side (he’s left-handed in both writing and wand). He walks with a limp all the time - it will likely never go away. For a while, he was forced to use a cane, especially during the healing process, but hasn’t needed that since prior to graduation. If he pushes himself too hard, there’s the possibility he may need that again, but he likely would just rest on those days more than bringing out the old cane full of unwanted reminders. His wand arm’s muscles had torn in the fall and, despite the ability to put them back together through magic, there are some lasting effects. He sometimes has tremors, especially if having a wand raised for long periods of time. Typically, this can be remedied with some techniques taught to him by the healers, but in extreme cases, he needs to put the wand down for an hour or so. This is most difficult when he’s in the middle of healing, otherwise it doesn’t get in the way much. 

[losangelesvalorant]

interesting things from tactical crouch’s interview w fusion assistant coach chrisTFer on 1/21

christfer talks abt hero bans, why fusion underperformed in s2, and why their roster is what it is. ill update this post w the youtube link once its out

On hero bans

Christfer thinks hero bans would change EVERYTHING, every team would have to be able to think on the fly, strong ingame leadership, makes coaches' jobs a lot harder, have to practice every hero on every map. you'd have to coach fundamentals into players a lot more and more focus on quickly IDing win conditions and the enemy gameplan. very seriously hopes they aren't gonna drop it this season

if the goal is to have genuine diversity in hero pool, bans is the way to achieve that, but christfer thinks itll fuck up the competitiveness, level of play will go down. but any aspect that helps spectators is better for league overall

volamel thinks hero bans will excite and drive the audience bc banning players specific heroes would be hype as fuck. lotta strategy, lots of analysis. however he's skeptical bc if it happens midseason it's gonna fuck over coaches

christfer thinks if theyre gonna do it they gotta do it today. there's no other good time

yiska thinks it would be bad to implement it midseason bc the # of games teams play across the season is sooo spread out. teams have different amts of games every month

on why fusion underperformed in s2

Internally, fusion was kinda "naive" coming into s2, thought they were the 2nd best team and acted as if they were 2nd best. rarely felt happiness after scrims bc theyre "supposed" to be winning all the scrims. losing scrims also was hugely negative for the same reason

smaller roster makes it harder to kick people into gear, so lack of motivation was a big thing. they were just waiting for goats to die

thought goats wouldnt continue into s2, stage 4 was where they finally got motivation, fusion never completely understood the goats style of play or the fundamentals goats taught teams, they lost games they shouldnt have as a result. Not one big issue, lots of small issues

fusion held themselves to such high expectations that when they failed them and weren't enjoying the game as much so morale fell. (paraphrased) "as long as my players enjoy playing the game, it makes my job easier"

Christfer says fusion changed a lot for playins, changed coaching structure, overwhelmingly positive result. best theyd looked all season

shanghai had very particular strengths on certain maps. fusion was winning brawl comps vs brawl comps. got nervous and dropped maps they were supposed to take, but theyd given away too many of "their" maps to be able to lose shanghai's maps. 

felt like they hit the ground running on playins, but other teams levelled up across playins and christfer believed other teams wouldve developed more than they would have

even if coaching wasnt problem if team is in a slump you need new coaches to re-fire everyone up, which is what happened w fusion. 

on carpe and sado

carpe was able to play heroes he excelled at in s1, in s2 zarya was entirely different in elements of what makes a player good at the hero. carpe holds himself to a very, very high standard and playing zarya killed his morale because he wasn't so good at it. christfer considers it a failing of himself as a coach that he didn't help carpe work through that more

nobody on the team is worried about carpe’s performance. Christfer confirmed carpe wont play if he isnt up to standard (in response to reddit worrying abt how long his contract is and how much sway he has over coaches)

christfer is very upset about how people treat sado. sado is the "single nicest person you will ever meet." every single player/coach had 1 on 1s with tucker, everyone said they wanted to keep playing with sado. yiska emphasized how important it is that every player on the team wanted to keep playing sado bc for example eqo and carpe want to win more than anything and if they thought sado was the problem they absolutely wouldve said so

Other teams came to fusion wanting to sign sado

christfer said sado wasnt the greatest main tank player last year, but playing rein in a "dysfunctional" team makes the rein player look bad. 

christfer thinks this is the "season of sado." has complete faith in him

the complaints abt sado’s rein "[he] can understand," says to remember sado had never played pro before s1. he doesn't have as much competitive exp which hits him hard but he's grown wildly in the last year. 

sado's ability to hit every halt at the right time is incredible. compares him to alarm in how good his instincts are. excellent player in a team environment, kinda a big brother to some of the players on the team, sado is very important to the team

christfer agrees that if meta shifts and sado is sick, theres a problem, but says this is not a problem unique to fusion

on fusion’s new acquisitions

heesu surprised christfer the most. he’s “very, very, very very, very good.” hungry to learn, easy to talk to, they got a very good deal and christfer is surprised more teams didn't try to get him

heesu has a lot of respect for carpe, heesu said its a + for him to work under carpe

theyre trying to scrim w heesu daily, sounds like they intend to play him if the opportunity presents itself. excellent signing theyre very happy abt

the point of the chipsa signing was that they didnt need a 5th dps, their lineup is already perfect, they had to find someone that "made sense" from many levels. wanted a specialist. Christfer thinks chipsa understands the raw mechanics of doom better than any owl players, thinks he could legit play in a doom meta. also thinks chipsa could teach eqo doom in a doom meta. chipsa provides advertisement, no need for scrimming with him. if the situation is right he can play and if he's not playing he provides income, publicity, etc. christfer again restated he was originally against the signing. when tucker explained why hed be signed, christfer came around to the idea

having 2 way players is a headache in christfers opinion, so that was another reason why they didnt pick up a contenders player instead of chipsa.

chipsa has not had a scrim yet because he’s not in philly bc visa stuff, but christfer did not clarify whether or not he will scrim. 

of all players signed, funnyastro was by far the most in demand. they had to fight for him, almost every team wanted him. he's a "sponge" where he remembers whatever coaches tell him, incredibly coachable, very mature for his age, needs to adjust his playstyle a bit to fit into the team (bc he's going for plays he shouldnt sometimes) but if they can "tune him back" a bit hes great. want to find a middle ground bc astro's ability to kill everything and doing his job (brought up moth as the "glue guy" who enables everyone by doing his job perfectly)

alarm has insane awareness, has natural affinity for positioning, understands ovw instinctively. zero attitude issues, the nicest/perfect teammate. "the whole package."

yiska said ivy has a "special type of character," quickly clarified that it’s not a “problematic” character, but needs a dif type of coaching (christfer agreed)

thinks things got difficult for ivy on toronto bc he was moving roles so much, kdg puts a lot of stock into him, a lot of kr players do too. people from toronto think ivy is insane mechanically. volamel thinks ivy should have been toronto's standout

fury wasnt signed bc of bad synergy btween sado and poko. poko wasnt the problem. fusion is very serious abt winning everything and fury is a statement of that intent. fury/poko cover every base

on new coaches

Christfer really respects seita and kdg, happy to have gotten them. has worked w both of them in the past, considers kdg similar to crusty. they signed kdg like the second he became available, christfer asked for him specifically. 

seita will stay remote 

yiska says mobydik is nuts in terms of game knowledge. Christfer agreed, says he thinks abt the game in a very unique way, outside of the box

misc

Fusion has a system where all 3 supports are rotating in the current meta. nobody is benched. had main support play bap originally when bootcamping, but theres places u can play 2 flex sups, so fusion has a lot of flexibility. who plays depends on situations where you can always play zen/bap vs where you might have to flex to lucio

Christfer thinks main sups doing calling/single caller system is a bit outdated and more of a western concept, trying to build comm system where everyone communicates, everyone calls their own ults. can have ingame leaders, but wants everyone to call what they need to call. in this meta everyone has to make the plays and call their own ults bc its split second and only the person w the ult can see the optimal situation

Christfer thinks the positions where you need stability in ovw is main tank and main support. subbing dps players in and out is fine but you need consistency at mt and ms. 

really really think they dont need to fill their last roster spot

Christfer calls this season a "rebuild season" for fusion. if they dont do well this year christfer thinks it would be the fault of the coaches. too much talent to fuck it up. 

not taking home a title is not exactly a failure, but anything within the top 4 fusion is happy with

[its-pronounced-quoassoint]

Hospital

Just a little logicality fic that I wrote late at night. I hope you enjoy it. I would love to post a part two or more. If I do I’ll link to it here.

Inspiration for this post

Patton had been getting better until his condition took a turn for the worst. He was born with a rare blood disorder and was certain he was going to die around the age of two. But now, as a fourteen year old, he was the most optimistic person, likely to ever live. 

He had been in and out of the hospital for all his life and hadn’t been there for six or so months when he had fallen extremely ill. Being rushed to the hospital was a rush that he sadly knew all to well and was no longer scared by the sirens of the ambulance or the musings of his mother in her attempts to soothe him. Instead, Patton found this whole ordeal rather annoying. His breathing mask was a little crooked and the straps around his ears were itchy. 

They arrived at the hospital and Patton was placed in a room he had been in many times before. Doctor Marcie came in and out, checking one thing then leaving to attend to another patient before returning, only to leave yet again. There were no children’s hospitals nearby so the child section of the St. James hospital was often understaffed and over filled. 

Patton waited patiently, though he had his iPad to help with that. Soon he was told that he would have to stay overnight for a while and was sent to an empty room. There were two beds, though the other had no patient. Two TVs and a curtain separating the room in two. Patton was put in the bed farthest from the door and was left with his mother and older sibling Talyn.

“Oh, Pat, don’t worry.” His sweet mother assured him.

“I’m not worried momma!” He giggled.

You’re so brave.” She cooed.

“Momma, he’s been here so many times, I think he’s used to it by now.” Talyn stated.

“Talyn!” 

“Momma, they’re right.” Patton said. He grasped his Mother’s hand and smiled.

“Oh hun, you are perfect.” She sighed.

“No I’m not momma.” 

“Pat, you know this isn’t the time to argue with her.” Talyn reminded their small sibling.

“Yeah.” He replied grinning up at his sibling. 

As the night drew closer Patton’s mother and sibling had to leave. It was a bit tearful for the older woman but Talyn helped their mother out and soon Patton was left in the room. Alone.

Oh, he hated being alone. No one to talk to, no one to smile at, nothing but silence. 

Luckily, he had his iPad and the room had a TV. Patton began absently flipping through stations until he found reruns of The Office. Using that as background noise he started scrolling through Instagram, liking posts and watching makeup tutorials and satisfying videos. 

Then, around eight pm, another kid was rolled into the room and put in the other bed. He too, had glasses and Patton desperately wanted to point out that fact.

However, he knew that many kids didn’t want to talk with their ‘roommate’ right away. So he kept quiet. 

After assuring the other kid was comfortable in his bed all but one nurse left. She walked over to Patton and began checking on him. 

“How are you doing Pat?” She asked. 

“I’m doing good Nora.” Patton smiles. Nurse Nora was Patton’s favorite. She was often his nurse while he was at the hospital and she never looked at him with pity and sadness like all the others. He wondered if her eyes were always filled with hope.

“You’re lookin’ alright. Everything seems fine. Other than you being sick that is.” She made Patton giggle.

“When is Emile coming?” 

“He’ll be here to see you in morning Honeybee.” Nora told Patton.

“Yay! Oh, I have to ask him Remy!” Patton exclaimed.

“I’m sure Dr. Picani will be happy to tell you all about it.” Nora said looking at the chart.

She set down the chart and turned to Patton. 

“Pat, this is Logan. He’s gonna be here for a while like you.” She told him.

“M’kay.” He replied side-eyeing the boy quickly.

Nora gave him a small ‘bap’ on the head and turned to leave. 

“I’ll be back in to check on you again around eleven Honeybee.” She called.

Nora left the room and Patton felt his face ease out of the bright grin he had and into a smaller, more comfy smile. Patton lowered the volume on his tv as another episode of The Office began. He laid back his pillow and watched intently at the screen. Well, at least he was trying to watch intently. Instead he was sneaking glances at the other boy in the room. Logan, as Patton now knew, had his glasses off and his nose in a book. In fact, it appeared he had been left with a rather large stack of books. 

Patton particularly liked how the boy’s facial expression shifted as he read. Logan’s small smile turned to shock, then his eyebrows creased into an angry look, then he softened and stared at the page in endearment. At one point Patton thought he had caught Logan re-reading the same paragraph several times. He was chewing on the inside of his lip in nervousness, but his eyes betrayed that action. Logan’s eyes were shimmering with a glow Patton knew only as love. He must be reading something he loved. 

Logan flipped the page and that glimmer of love in his eyes faded away. Patton felt his own face waver as he saw this. 

Patton then realized he had likely been looking at Logan long enough for it to be considered rude and turned away. After not being able to fully focus on the show Patton decided to turn off the TV and play on his iPad. The WiFi at the hospital was horrid but Patton had time to waste. While one particular game was loading Patton decided to take another glance at Logan.

The boy had somehow fallen asleep. The book rested on his chest that rose and fell and his hair was tossed carelessly around his face. Patton felt a grin grow on his face as he saw how content Logan was. The other kids that Patton had shared a room with in the past weren't usually content. Those kids slept with a permanent look of pain. Their eyes were so full of sadness. Some had tear stains on their cheeks that Patton didn't know how long were there or how long would last. Seeing a boy so peaceful like Logan made Patton so simply happy. 

Logan then turned on his side toward Patton, the book falling to the floor. When the sound didn't wake Logan up Patton grabbed the IV on the side of his bed and got on his knees so he could wheel it around the bed. He got it to the left of him and attempted to quietly get off the bed. Once his feet were safely on the cold floor, Patton walked to the book and picked it up. Good Omens, Patton read. The cover was a simple sketch of a man with angel wings reading a red book in front of a black background. The font was funny looking and Patton made a mental note to try and read it once he was out of the hospital. 

He went to place it on Logan's dresser when he heard a sudden intake of air next to him. Patton looked over and saw Logan suddenly sitting up in the bed, staring at him, clearly startled. 

"Uh, sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." Patton rushed to say. "It's just, your book fell while you were sleeping and I didn't want it to be on the dirty floor."

"Oh." Logan seemed to calm once given the explanation, his shoulders relaxed. "Thank you." 

"Of course." Patton squinted as he ginned. He placed the book on the stand next to Logan's bed and walked, his IV in hand, over to the right side of his bed before sitting down cross-legged on the soft blue blanket his mother had left. 

It was quiet. Patton decided he didn't enjoy the quiet and perhaps this was the time to talk to Logan. He looked over at the boy who had put his glasses on and was fixing up his hair a little. Patton felt a giggle rise from his throat. His glasses were crooked. Not enough that Logan could tell but Patton sure could. 

"Um, Logan?" Patton asked. 

"Yes?" He looked over at Patton. 

"Your glasses are crooked." Patton told him. 

"Oh." He began his attempts to fix them. After several tries where he would look to Patton for assurance that they were level and get a 'no' as a response Patton decided to simply fix it for him. 

Once again pulled his IV to the other side of the bed, Patton walked over to Logan and adjusted the glasses on his face. He smiled at Logan once done and the boy smiled back, though Logan's was, a smaller simpler smile. 

"You seem to know the hospital staff very well." Logan pointed out as Patton sat back down on his bed. 

"Yea, I've got a blood disorder so I'm in and out of here a lot." Patton explained. 

"Hm." Logan appeared to be assessing Patton's expression, though Pat couldn't tell what he was looking for. "Why did the nurse call you Honeybee."

"Uh, well," Patton felt embarrassment creep into his cheeks. "Nurse Nora was one of the very first nurses that I had on the regular rotation and when I first met her, I was obsessed with this stuffed animal. It was a bee with a little pot of honey on top. So, she started calling me Honeybee. Only a few people call me honeybee around here. Nora, Dr. Picani, Dr. Bollis, the secretary at the front desk, her name is Virginia, and the pastry chef down at the cafeteria, Mr. Thomas."

Logan nodded along as Patton gave him unasked for information. He didn't mind however. There wasn't much else to do. 

Once it seemed like Patton was finished Logan decided to speak up. "I suppose I should tell you about my condition, seeing as you told me yours."

"Oh, you don't have to Logan! I understand if it makes you uncomfortable to talk about."

"Really?" Logan tilted his head. 

"Yea!" Patton gave him another toothy grin. 

"Thank you." Logan reciprocated. 

"I never would want to make you uncomfortable. A lot of kids here don't like to talk about why they have to be in the hospital." Patton told him. "It's normal."

"I've heard you mention a Doctor Picani, who is that?" Logan asked.

"He's the child therapist at the hospital. He comes to visit all the kids at least once when they're here over night." Patton explained. 

"Ah." Logan nodded in understanding. 

The two continued to chat for a while. Patton would explain something about the hospital to Logan and Logan would ask some more questions until Patton had a question of his own. 

"What is your book about?" 

"Sorry?" Logan looked at his other bespectacled friend. 

"Your book, I think it was called Good Omens. It had funny font and an angel on the cover." Patton clarified. 

"You want to know about my book?" Logan asked. 

"Well, yeah, that's why I asked silly!" Patton giggled. 

"Oh, uh, well, it's about this angel and demon, both were sent to Earth to observe human evolution and perform miracles, that's the angel's job, or create mischief, the demon's job." Logan began to tell. "After a few thousand years the angel, who's name is Aziraphale, and the demon, who's name is Crowley, realize that whenever one does something beneficial the other just counteracts it with a bad deed."

Patton looked at Logan intently as he explained away the book. "Eventually they become good friends and both live in central London. Aziraphale owns and runs a bookshop while Crowley has a Bentley, you know the old car."

Patton nodded, reading the excitement and glee plastered all over Logan's face. 

"Then the Antichrist is born, and he's supposed to bring about the end of the world. However, neither Crowley or Aziraphale want that so they attempt to stop the end of the world on the Antichrist's eleventh birthday. So they-" Logan looked Patton directly in the eyes. "are you planning on reading the book?" 

"Oh, uh, I suppose so." Patton shrugged. 

"Then, I guess I shouldn't tell you what happens. People tend to not like it when I explain in detail the plots of the books I'm reading." Logan looked down. 

"No! No, no, keep going. Though I know how it ends that doesn't mean I won't want to read it." Patton assured him. 

"Really?" Logan asked. Patton nodded quickly and Logan continued. 

He explained every event in the book in great detail and would even draw Patton a diagram of confusing plot points so he could better understand it. Patton tried very hard to focus on everything Logan was saying but he found that when the boy was joyfully going on about something he's passionate about, Logan is hard to look away from. At some point Logan had walked over to sit on Patton's bed with him and was giddily showing Patton the diagram he had drawn up though at this point Patton had completely given up on paying attention to Logan's musings. Instead he had zoned out, his mind racing, never stopping to think about one thought or another too quickly. Though he somehow always tied his thoughts back to the boy sitting next to him, Patton decided to not unpack all of that at the moment. Besides, what real harm was being done if his absent-minded staring just so happened to be in the general area where Logan sat next to him. 

"Patton." 

"Ya-huh?" Patton's eyes came back into focus as once Logan got his attention. 

"Oh, uh, I was just making sure you understood what I was saying." Logan gave a small smile before turning back to the "evidence" he had laid out on the bed. 

"Yep." Patton continued to stare in Logan's general area as the smart boy went on. 

"So, as I was saying I think-" Logan turned his head to the right and looked at Patton realizing the cheery boy was staring at Logan's hair. Logan exhaled and lightly took Patton's chin in his fingers, tilting the other boy's head back to the diagrams on the bed. This time assuring that he could fully understand what Logan was saying. 

Patton pursed his lips and visibly pouted a little but didn't complain. He did however sneak one last look at Logan who had just the lightest hue of pink dusting his ears. 

As Logan drew to a close on his lecture about his the current book he was reading he transferred back to his bed and was organizing his belongings. 

"Thank you for listening to me Patton. I usually can't find anyone willing to listen to me talk about my interests."

"Oh of course, to be fully honest I spaced out a little, but a book about an Angel and a Demon falling in love," Patton laid back in his bed, a dreamy look on his face. "what's not to be interested with?"

"What?" Logan looked at his curly haired friend, flabbergasted. "They're best friends, they're not in love." 

"Yeah ok." Patton raised his eyebrows and chuckled. 

"They aren't." Logan stated. 

"Oh, please." Patton sat up, turning to look Logan directly in the eye. "Logan, I have been in and out of this hospital my entire life. I have memorized almost every facial expression there is. I can tell how someone is feeling just by how they walk. I can see past every faked smile and forced laugh. I know what eyes filled with pity or pain look like better than, I dare say, anyone. People's actions portray their feelings more than they know. And from simply all you have told me about Crowley and Aziraphale, I can tell you with complete certainty. They are in love." Patton punctuated the last four words forcefully. 

Logan looked at Patton with a small amount of shock. That however, faded quickly. Replaced instead by a content resting face. "Well, I guess it is a possibility." He mumbled. 

"It's essentially a fact." Patton once again laid back. 

It was quiet for the first time in a while. Though, the silence wasn't awkward as Patton had become used too. Instead, it was an easy silence. Logan, though Patton couldn't see very well, was going over the notes he had made, clearly searching for something to disprove Patton's conjecture. Patton felt a smug smile reach his lips as he closed his eyes. Enjoying the silence. That is until Logan gives a frustrated grunt and slammed his note book shut. Patton sat up, concerned. This wasn't the outcome he had expected. 

"Hey, uh, Logan." Patton tentatively began. "Your voice is really nice."

"What?" Logan jerked his head up, his voice breaking a little. 

"Your voice. I liked listening to you talk about the book, but your voice is very calming." Patton continued explaining. "You see, my older sibling Talyn has a friend, Virgil, he's read those H. P. Lovecraft books and he loves talking about them. I usually tune it out, which sounds rude but sometimes I just cannot continue hearing him vent about such yucky topics. However, I loved listening to you talk about Good Omens. Though the book itself isn't as gross as Lovecraft I also think your voice is part of the reason why I was so interested."

"Oh, well," Logan took a shaky in take of breath. "Thank you." 

Patton smiled as a response and let his head rest on the pillow behind him. The minutes ticked on. It was slow but Patton turned on his TV and the two watched reruns of whatever shows they could find that was somewhat enjoyable. At some point the clock had struck eleven and Nora came back in. Checking both boys vitals before turning off the TV and wishing them a goodnight. 

The dark room was once again plunged into silence that neither boy seemed to enjoy. Patton found he could not sleep for the life of him and figured Logan had drifted off at that point. So, when Logan shifted in his bed and spoke Patton jumped just a little.

“Patton, are you still awake?” He whispered. 

“No.” Patton admitted. Opening his eyes and allowing them to adjust. 

“I cannot seem to rest.” Logan sighed. 

“Neither can I.” Patton giggled. 

It was quiet for a beat too long. 

“I feel I should admit something to you.” Logan whispered, his voice full of hesitation. 

“Shoot.” Patton assured his friend.

“Earlier. When I initially awoke from my nap.” Logan began. “You told me my glasses were crooked. I purposely never fixed them correctly.”

It was quiet. 

“Wow.” Patton began a soft giggle that grew. “You are a lot more subtle than I am.”

“Oh?” 

“Very much so.” Patton continued his giggle. “That was a pretty smooth move there.”

“My friends would have called it desperate.” Logan admitted. Patton pursed his lips.”However, I’m not good with emotions at all. I’m not the best at, well, anything of the sort. I can’t just tell you I think you’re cute now can I?”

“Why not?” Patton asked, completely dodging the fact that this adorable boy had called him cute. 

“Well, for one you could be straight.” Logan pointed out. 

“Me? I’m as gay as everyone’s first impression of Aziraphale, Logan.” Patton chided.

Logan chuckled. Patton too laughed at his own comment. It was quiet. Though he couldn’t see any colors other than dark grey and black Patton could feel the red on Logan’s ears. Or perhaps that was just Patton’s hope that Logan’s face felt as hot as his did.

"I love sleepovers." He sighed. 

"Patton, I don't believe this counts as a sleepover."

"I'm in a nightgown aren't I?" Patton said as though this was an argument. 

"It's a hospital gown and attire doesn't really make it a sleepover." Logan countered. 

"Truth or dare?" Patton asked, turning on his side toward Logan.

Logan was quiet. Clearly searching Patton's face once again, this time likely for a sign that he was joking. After some time Logan looked away. 

"Dare." He sighed.  

[skate-catnada]

Favorite Moments of the 2018-2019 Season

It feels like it’s been a long and weird season, and maybe it has. I wasn’t around for any previous post-Olympic seasons, but I’ve heard they’re a bit weird and that, along with the rule changes, made this season feel very different. There were a lot of good moments/programs this season, though. Here are some of my favorites, not in any particular order other than #1, which is genuinely my #1 moment. 

1. Shoma Uno’s Four Continents Free Program - this free got him the title and the free skate score world record (up until Worlds), and came after a series of events that cast doubt on whether or not Shoma could deliver. At the beginning of the season Shoma stated that his goal was to win major international titles rather than getting silver, and he did just that here, but before the competition he suffered an ankle injury. His short program hadn’t gone well, his practices hadn’t gone well, everyone (his fans at least) was worried about whether or not he could pull this off, and then he did that. It isn’t perfect, but it’s brilliant to watch and is a testament to Shoma’s strength as a skater. He fights for everything and gives it his all, and I’m so happy he was rewarded for it. 

2. Rika Kihira NHK Trophy Free Program - Rika’s “Beautiful Storm” is one of my favorite programs ever and this was the time she performed it best. Everything was spot on! Two triple axels, one in combination with another triple, all of the other jumps clean, the amazing artistic components of the program! The costume! I was amazed when I saw it and I’ve watched it over and over again since. It was a really lovely moment for Rika and showcased all of the hard work she’s done going into her first senior season. 

3. Jason Brown Worlds Short Program - I love this program. It’s different to what Jason has done before, but with his change in coaches and all it was expected that he’d go for something a bit different. What I love about this program is how smooth it is, how every movement is done perfectly with the music, how fluid Jason is, and how confident he is. This program didn’t go over well at the beginning of the season, so seeing how he’s grown into it to the point where he can deliver a stunning performance like this has been great to watch. Jason’s short is also an example of how doing elements with great quality can overcome programs with more difficult tech content. He was second after the short!

4. Kevin Aymoz Worlds Short Program - I don’t know why I can’t find a video of his short program from any competition other than Skate Canada, so that’s what the video is from. But at Worlds he performed the hell out of this program. It’s such a good program and the step sequence is amazing. The most enjoyable step sequence of the night, I think, and every time he’s done this program I’ve looked forward to that the most. I can’t wait to see what he does next year! 

5. Matteo Rizzo Europeans Free Program - As with Kevin’s, I can’t find any videos of Matteo from a big competition, but luckily this Universiade video of his free program exists! Matteo changed it in the second half of the season and it was actually a really good choice. Every time I’ve seen it, he’s performed it well, and he looks like he’s really enjoying it. I think it’s helped him gain more confidence and he’s consistently been a threat in the later half of this season as a result. Also, it’s just a lot of fun! 

6. Mikhail Kolyada Worlds Free Program (unavailable in the US) - CARMEN! Carmen has been giving literally everyone trouble all season, but here Mikhail was able to nail it when it counted. This is the first time all season he performed it that I liked it because this is the first time all season that the program worked out, and he does an amazing performance once it does work out. After a season of struggle it was a really good note to end on. 

7. Alina Zagitova Worlds Free Program - speaking of Carmen, another Carmen that’s been giving someone trouble all season! Alina has had a difficult season as well, dealing with a growth spurt and the pressures of being Olympic Champion. A lot of eyes were on her and her competitions this year haven’t been smooth, but I’m glad she’s fought all season to reach a point where she could have an incredible finish at Worlds. It was satisfying to watch her give the performance she wanted to. 

8. Sofia Samodurova Europeans Free Program - Sofia, in her first year as a senior, has been admirably consistent. She has yet, even at the end of the season now, to make a major error in either of her programs. This consistency really helped her at Euros, and this free program in particular was a joy to watch because of how into it she got and her reaction at the end. 

9. Yuzuru Hanyu Rostelecom Short Program - This short program still holds the world record score at the end of the season for good reason. It’s amazing in pretty much every way, and it takes a lot to come back from Olympic gold and throw down this program. Yuzuru is always striving to go above and beyond what he’s already done and this is a great example of that. I love Johnny Weir’s Otonol, which this is a tribute to, and Yuzuru build upon it and made his own beautiful program that stands out by itself. The step sequence in particular is incredible, and if he doesn’t keep this program for next season I hope he keeps it around as an exhibition program. 

10. Kaori Sakamoto GP Helsinki Free Program - I love a good comeback, and this was Kaori’s! After a bad short she skated the hell out of this free and it was amazing to watch. Her reaction at the end was wonderful! This is one of my favorite programs of the season as well -- it’s just so emotional and it really draws you in, and I kind of want her to keep it for next season. If she doesn’t, I do hope somehow we see it again. 

11. Evgenia Medvedeva Worlds Free Program - Evgenia has had a very difficult season, after moving to Brian Orser and changing up pretty much everything -- where she lives, her coach, her technique -- but this was the perfect ending for it. At the beginning of the season people doubted that she could make the World team. At Worlds, she performed the hell out of her programs to win bronze. She’s one of the most determined skaters out there to bounce back within the space of a few months like this. 

12. Elizabet Tursynbaeva Worlds Free Program - SHE LANDED A QUAD! The first senior lady to land a quad in international competition! That was a huge accomplishment and I’m really happy she achieved it, as well as a silver medal, at this year’s Worlds. 

13. Nathan Chen Worlds Free Program - I love Nathan’s programs this season, and his free skate at this year’s Worlds was amazing. I like the style of this program and I want to see more like it in the future -- it suits him really well and this year has been a great program to watch him grow more artistically with as a skater. 

14. Sui/Han Worlds Free Program - I can’t find a video for this, which is a crime because this program was incredible and everyone should see it. It’s amazing what they’ve accomplished since coming back in the second half of the season. I loved their performances in both the short and the free, so here is the short, which luckily has a video online! 

15. Javier Fernandez Europeans - all of Euros! It’s amazing that he didn’t compete all season, only started training a few weeks ahead of Euros, and still delivered two amazing performances to win the whole thing. I’m so happy he got to end his career on a high note and become seven-times European Champion. Here is his free skate. 

Honorable Mentions - World Team Trophy

 James/Cipres Free Program - I can’t find a video, which is frustrating, but James/Cipres struggled at Worlds after being favorites to win because of a collision during practice. They got to bounce back for World Team Trophy, where they delivered an incredible free skate that earned them a season’s best and an amazing end to the season. And it’s such a good, emotional program! 

Elizaveta Tuktamysheva Free Program - Same issue as above. After missing her for the second half of the season, Elizaveta was on top of her game at WTT. Her joy for this program really showed, and she was first in the free skate! She came back from her illness ready to prove that she shouldn’t be counted out yet and she succeeded. 

Shoma Uno Free Program - Again, no video, which is a shame because this free contains the first ever 3A4T attempted in competition (he fell, but it was fully rotated.) There was a lot going on in this free skate, from Shoma making sure to nail the 4F3T and 4F after the 4F had been giving him trouble, to the 3A4T attempt and the complete changing of the program layout in the second half as he went along. It wasn’t a perfect skate but it was the perfect way for Shoma to end the season, by pushing the boundaries both of the sport and of himself. 

(I could go on a rant about how hard it was to find videos for this list and how much more inaccessible the sport has become now that companies (still) aren’t listening to audiences and are cracking down harder on removing videos...but I think everyone feels how I feel. I am really angry, though, because YouTube is the place where people should be able to go to get to know the sport, or to relive amazing performances that aren’t archived elsewhere, and that is being taken away.) 

Despite the season being full of difficulties, there were so many highlights and personal journeys for the skaters that were encouraging to watch. Everyone seems determined to take the results of this season forward into the next, and I can’t wait to see what happens. 

[mensbodybuildingtips]

The Only Thing Harder Than Burning Fat...

Most individuals that are new to the bodybuilding and also health and fitness game think about burning fat to be among one of the most hard jobs they deal with. As many seasoned iron lifers will certainly inform you, the real difficulty exists not in losing the weight originally, yet in KEEPING it off, for the lengthy term. Any person could get ripped when ... but remaining very lean, year-round, is a challenge which verifies really difficult for the majority of lifters. Let's find out a couple of means you can make this task much easier for you!

Get mathematical It's very easy to run thru a flurry of exercises, reduce your calories, knock out cardio for hrs, as well as shed some fat. It's harder to maintain that degree of leanness as the days and weeks pass. Knowing the NUMBERS you employed to reach this degree of 'rippedness' is the crucial to your success. Record every little thing you consume for a week. Utilize a smart device app to count as well as build up the calories in everything you ate. Average them out. THAT is the standard variety of calories you need daily to maintain your present weight. Considering that each extra pound is composed of 3500 calories, you could eliminate 500 calories from each day to get to a weight-loss objective of 1 extra pound each week. When you reach your objective, proceed measuring calories to preserve your perfect weight. After a few weeks, you'll recognize the caloric content of everything, off the top of your head!

Take your vitamins Let's face it, people that are really lean ... they live some good lives. Every space they go into, they're the 'hot one' in the place. Sporting a 6-pack feels fantastic, yet it does imply your epic lean body can be extra prone to sickness. Remaining very lean could take a toll on your immune system. Taking your daily vitamins (C, E, B, D, and a multivitamin) belong to maintaining your body immune system strong. Appreciating a diet plan rich in nutrients can likewise add to superb health and wellness. This indicates you'll be able to stay in the fitness center, as well as stay lean, as opposed to getting ill and also losing progress!

Stay accountable Use the mirror, gauging tape, scale, as well as extremely dependable selfie electronic camera to tape your development to fat loss, along with your week-to-week development as you work to preserve this weight loss. Take the images in the same place every week, as well as take measurements at the very same time, as soon as weekly. You'll have the ability to inform if you're obtaining a little TOO lean, or if the body fat is beginning to sneak back up on you. From there, simply make minor caloric changes to your diet plan to relocate points back in the right direction.

Choose foods you like Most individuals hate diet regimens since they despise the foods they have to consume while on this diet plan. They're always fantasizing concerning the end of the diet, when they can return to the foods they actually love. Why not design your personal diet plan, picking the foods you already love? This way, you see it as more of a healthy and balanced meal plan, rather than a strict rejection of all the foods you love a lot. Pick meats, dairy, carbohydrates, and also fat sources from checklists that you like, as well as supply your fridge and also closets with them. Always have healthy and balanced food alternatives that you enjoy, on hand!

Keep protein high Protein intake is one of the most important tenets of building/keeping muscle as well as staying lean all the time. Maintaining your protein intake high throughout a 'weight loss down' stage is usual understanding to most. Keeping your daily healthy protein grams high while travelling in the post-diet stage might not come as normally to the majority of professional athletes. It is a routine you need to create and also exercise. Consume 30 to 40 grams of protein with each dish, year-round.

Develop a water system Look around you, at the workplace, at house, at the gym. Do you constantly have a water bottle handy, or is getting a drink more of a task? Drinking a gallon of water each day is crucial to keeping weight loss year-round. Remaining moisturized is an outright requirement for keeping your impressive leans! Make sure you have a gallon, pack of water, or a cooler posted near you at residence, at the fitness center, as well as at the office. Never ever in your day should you discover yourself parched - because that is an indication that dehydration has actually already established in!

Rotate Supplements Yes, it is a well known fat that supplements play a massive function in getting most body builders, figure as well as physical fitness professional athletes to the sub-8% body fat degrees. But remaining on the very same supplements for months or years each time can make them much less reliable as your receptors weary and the body gets utilized to them. Turn the supplements you use for best results. As an example, you could start with a 3-week cycle of Lipotase to accomplish your initial cuts. Then, opt for a 4-month run of TridenosenH for high energy levels as well as muscle mass upkeep to really MAINTAIN your muscle while remaining lean. Mix it up!

Keep it green At the very least something at each dish should be eco-friendly. That's right, some leafy green or veggie should discover its way into each meal. This can be a side salad with lunch, some chopped environment-friendly onions with your early morning eggs, or any kind of kale or Romaine with dinner. Keep it eco-friendly, as well as your body immune system will certainly grow, digestion will be a wind, and your metabolic rate will remain fed - which is a huge part of keeping fat off, year-round!

[lowcarbnutrients]

7 Cold-Fighting Foods To Cook With This Season

Winter is coming, and also not just for the Game of Thrones fans.

While we can practically get ill at any moment of the year, winter truly is the season for colds as well as flus. The cool, wet, snowy (or stormy) weather condition, more time invested indoors, vacation eating, tension as well as exposure to the sick individuals surrounding us can all impact our immune function during the winter season as well as leave us at risk to the attack of germs. We aren't completely vulnerable, though - there are a number of cold-fighting foods we can integrate in our cooking this period to help arm our body immune systems, along with lower the extent of signs if we're struck with infections.

Here are 7 of our much-loved cold-fighting foods! (And also, if you want to dive in deeper, take a look at this article for 5 all-natural cool and also influenza treatments.)

1. Garlic

Why It's Awesome:

Garlic is potent superfood with anti-bacterial, anti-fungal as well as anti-viral residential or commercial properties. It's been used throughout background to ward off infections, most lately in World Battles 1 + 2, where garlic was applied to injuries to prevent infections and also gangrene. Garlic isn't simply some folk-medicine treatment, there is modern-day clinical evidence that reveals it can protect us against the typical cold.

In one research study of 146 volunteers, the individuals who took a garlic supplement daily for three months were less most likely to come down with colds than the placebo group. As well as, if the garlic group did agreement a cold, they recouped much quicker than those taking the placebo. In an additional study, participants that swallowed aged garlic extract had less chilly signs, missed out on fewer days of job and also enhanced faster than individuals who took the placebo. This led scientists to wrap up that garlic enhances immune cell function, as well as has an essential duty to play in diminishing the extent of colds and also flus.

How to Enjoy

Garlic is one of our favorite cold-fighting foods because it can be made use of in a lot of meals! Add it to your soups, stews, stir-fried, dips (like guacamole!), or consume it straight-up raw if you feel a cool coming on. Nobody will wish to kiss you, yet if you're sniffling and also sneezing every person's most likely offering you a broad berth anyway.

2. Onions

Why It's Awesome:

Like garlic, onions are an extremely powerful veggie with cold-fighting properties. Along with containing the anti-bacterial and anti-viral substance allicin (also found in garlic), onions have a flavanoid called quercetin, a potent antioxidant that protects our cells from damages as well as has been studied as a flu-fighter.

In one research study of mice, researchers exercised the animals as well as after that provided them quercetin or a placebo. The mice that got quercetin had actually a minimized danger of breathing infections. Additional research study on onion removes provided to rats revealed that the onion boosted their immune system, elevating their leukocyte count.

Onions are likewise high in Vitamin C, a well-known vitamin that sustains immunity, as well as molecules called Onionin-A that decrease inflammation as well as help to regulate our immune defenses.

How to Enjoy

Onions can be used as a cold-fighting food in a range of soups, stews, stir-fries, morning meal casseroles and omelettes, or eaten raw in salads.

3. Lemons

Why It's Awesome:

Lemons have gained their rightful area as one of the top cold-fighting foods because of their high content of Vitamin C. Vitamin C has become renowned for its affect on the acute rhinitis, and also it's a vital nutrient that supports and also reinforces our immune system.

Vitamin C assists reduce the duration and also intensity of infections, as well as can contribute in preventing them in the first location. It promotes immunity - yet avoids the immune system from getting out of hand - as well as assists to minimize inflammation. As well as, as an antioxidant, it shields us from cellular damage.

How to Enjoy

Lemons (and also limes) are so easy to integrate right into your day-to-day diet regimen! Add a tablespoon of lemon juice to warm water in the morning (this likewise assists to kickstart food digestion), include it right into green juices and also healthy smoothies, add it to your salad dressings, as well as make use of lemon to improve the flavour of basically any meal.

4. Butternut Squash (and all winter squashes)

Why It's Awesome:

Butternut squash are rich in cucurbitacins, extremely anti-inflammatory compounds that provide the squash its anti-viral as well as anti-bacterial residential or commercial properties. At a much deeper immune level, squashes have anti-cancer effects.

Additionally, squashes are high in Vitamin C (talked about over) as well as Vitamin A, which not just boosts resistance, however also helps to modulate and sustain both different arms of the immune system.

How to Enjoy

Wintertime is associated with butternut squash and winter season squash, and they're widely offered at farmers markets and supermarket. You can use them as you would any origin vegetable: in soups, stews as well as casseroles, but they can even be included right into smoothie mixes, sliced and also made use of as pasta noodles in Paleo recipes, and also pureed and after that included into wonderful or mouthwatering baked goodies like these butternut squash muffins.

If you locate on your own befudded in any way of the wintertime squash options, check out our supreme overview to winter season squash that damages down each variety and just how to use them.

5. Ginger

Why It's Awesome:

Ginger has a delicious, zesty kick that is full to the brim with cold-fighting advantages. It settles the stomach as well as decreases nausea or vomiting, making it an ideal food to consume when colds and also flus leave you really feeling nauseated.

This durable root has gingerols, which are effective substances that obstruct inflammation, along with anti-oxidants that minimize inflammation and also have anti-cancer buildings. Fresh ginger can likewise prevent viruses from connecting to our airways.

How to Enjoy

Ginger can be added to shakes, soups (try this carrot ginger variation), potions, stews, salad dressings, dips as well as spreads, and homemade crackers.

You can also grate ginger into warm water with some lemon as well as raw honey for an immune-boosting, anti-microbial boost. If you're really feeling take on, you can also add garlic as well as cayenne pepper!

6. Bone Broth

Why It's Awesome:

Research on hen soup shows that it can decrease inflammation, convenience chilly signs as well as shorten the quantity of time we experience respiratory system signs and symptoms. Scientists likewise recommended that broth can rehydrate us, which is specifically practical if you've been spending a lot of time embracing the toilet.

Bone brew is rich in a range of vitamins, minerals and also amino acids that aid to nurture the digestive tract, bones, joints, and teeth. One of bone broth's super star nutrients is jelly, which sustains the healing of a long listing of illness including peptic ulcers, consumption, diabetic issues, muscular tissue diseases, contagious conditions, jaundice, as well as cancer cells. It's specifically practical in sustaining the recovery of the digestive tract as well as promotes food digestion by attracting digestive juices to food in the gut.

How to Enjoy

You can ladle bone broth into a mug and also sip away, or build an extra substantial soup by including onions, garlic, ginger, veggies as well as dark leafy eco-friendlies. Bone brew is also remarkable as the fluid for cooking grains or in sauces.

7. Sweet Potatoes

Why It's Awesome:

Sweet potatoes include overpriced quantities of Vitamin A, which as we mentioned earlier, improve and also modulate resistance, along with assistance to heal mucosal obstacles that have actually been wrecked by infections. A solitary cup of pleasant potatoes uses over 200% of your recommended day-to-day value of Vitamin A!

But that's not all - wonderful potatoes are rich in the immune-stimulating Vitamin C, anti-oxidants and also anti-inflammatory compounds that can help minimize the pain and swelling you could experience with a cool. You'll also find a variety of B-vitamins, which will aid amp up your energy degrees when handling a cold or flu and also help you feel much less worried regarding it.

How to Enjoy

Sweet potatoes are a flexible cooking active ingredient. Chop them up right into pieces or wedges for wonderful potato french fries, roast them whole as well as then stuff them with beans and garnishes, mash them with coconut oil as well as cinnamon, cook them right into chips, make use of wonderful potato puree in baked items, grate them raw over salads, or spread them over your much-loved guard's pie as opposed to white potatoes.

Integrating these 7 cold-fighting foods right into your regular dietary rotation can aid you stop those bothersome colds and also flus, as well as aid you recoup quicker if you do happen to catch the sniffles.

What are your preferred cold-fighting foods? Please share in the comments!