#but if youre not consistent about the fact that its Not Ever Okay then it very likely will become a problem 😭

[bronzetomatoes]

I'll be reading a fic where child characters are actually written appropriately for their age and development but Then you get hit w the definite "this person has never raised a kid/witnessed a kid being raised" of a toddler hitting/slapping/smacking someone (however gently) without being told 'HEY no hitting 😠'

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 4

Propaganda

Glenn Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

#Propaganda for Glenn Close: one of the other PCs mentions multiple times how hot he is #Actually several characters point it out but especially Henry #Also the only person in a podcast that has to put a disclaimer about not being a BDSM podcast to have had sex during the course of the show

We didn’t do hot Glenn summer for him to LOSE. Spoilers for his story but MORE PROPAGANDA FOR YOU:

Young hot rocker dilf

Loyal to his dead wife <3

Does in fact smoke weed

BARD!! HES A BARD. HE WAS LEAD GUITAR IN HIS BAND (that he was kicked out of)

His band was a Christmas cover band btw.

Literally the fandom had hot Glenn summer which consisted of drawing him being incredibly hot and sexy

Anti government (ofc)

Kind of cringefail (Disney adult) (was on dilfs of disneyland)

Young and sexy not your style? Then how about HIM AFTER YEARS LOCKED IN A TIME PRISON WITH A DAMN HANNIBAL MASK ??

Lost an eye and wears a fucking eyepatch

One incredibly buff arm

Has a pet rat named after his son <3

Immeasurable amounts of trauma in this man- becomes progressively more unhinged

OH OLD HUMAN BARD ISNT CUTTING IT? FINE

HE BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON

A COOL HOT ONE-EYED DEMON WHO WANTS TO KILL HIS DAD (also sexy)

HE CANONICALLY ENDS CHRISTIAN HELL VIA CHRISTMAS

IS ALSO WAY OVERLEVELED

Becomes a demon hunter for the rest of his existence

Also nonwhite !!! We are done with cringefail whiteboys !!!!!!!!!

I can’t put into words ok just know he is the best plz love him.

Listen, I don't know this other character but I've seem some good arguments for her However Consider Glenn Close winning through no effort of his own in a bullshit way despite being a dick is the most in character thing ever. He leveled up three times and got a crab mech, we GOT to give him this win, it's fitting

I don’t regulate if minors follow me or not bc I’m a pretty chill space but I hope the world is aware that’s the only reason I haven’t been downright nasty about Glenn close. I’m down bad. I’m NOT in the boat of ‘Glenn isn’t sexy but I want him to win bc it’s my fandom’. I would estimate I have 200+ drawings of Glenn on my phone that AREN’T safe for work. Way more that are. Where did they come from? That’s MY business. But I tell you this fact to assure you- Glenn IS sexy. I’m not voting to represent my fandom I’m voting out of TRUTH AND LOVE. IF YOU DON’T GET IT YOU DON’T GET IT!!! I just think my level of feral over this man is more powerful than y’all realize. If you don’t get his sex appeal that’s okay, but don’t doubt that this is my truth.

Okay but Glenn made a minivan cum by talking to her so

HE HAS A BOOK THAT HE MARKS X’S AND CHECKS FOR EVERY DAY TO SEE IF THAT DAY WAS A SUCCESS OR NOT. TO SEE IF HE DID GOOD THAT DAY. ITS ALMOST ENTIRELY X’S. HE WAS CUCKED OUT OF A SON. AND A DEAD WIFE. HE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO KILL HIS DAD IN REVENGE. There’s absolutely nothing going for him except his sex appeal in his life. Nobody he loved remembers him. He lost his eye. All he has is a pet rat and friends who admit they don’t really like him that much. He was kicked out of his own band. The band was named after him. He was kicked out of the Glenn Close trio. All he could do was deez nuts the big bad and be sexy. If nothing else, then pity him. Look in his eyes. Look at his heart and soul. Do you think pickman needs this to feel good about herself? Can she not accept a loss for the sake of a pathetic father? Can she shake hands with the minivan fucker and his human gun and just take the L on this one? He did not do the BDSM episode for this I’ll tell you what. Do this for my his sake. Do it for Nick Jr, who needs the prize money to pay for his rat snacks. Do it for his son. For Morgan. Ganbatte.

Mod Note: While I will still take "bad dads are sexy" propaganda and "bad dads aren't sexy" anti-propaganda, I kindly request no more discussion on whether or not he was a bad father. This is a sexypoll, not a parentingpoll. If you see a post you strongly disagree with, you can just not reblog it.

Mod Note 2: This tournament is about fictional podcast characters. Please do not vote for the real actress Glenn Close.

Lup (The Adventure Zone: Balance):

Is somehow the hot twin between her and Taako

Lup Bluejeans (née... Taaco? Tacco? Taco? Tako? who tf knows this is why I'm going with her husband's last name. doylistly she gets her last name from her brother whose last name is given as "Taako again but spelled differently"): Hot, funny, smart and undead. Is there anything else you could want in a woman?? Well, in case there is: she's also canonically trans

LUP IS THE HOTTEST. VOTE LUP.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Phantom's number 1 Fan. Part 2

Tim wakes a few days later, half submerged in liquid and hooked to various machines. He is in a tub shaped like a bed, obviously meant to sleep in. Around him is what he hopes is a hospital room with medical tools scattered about and soft blue paint that turns to the night sky the higher it goes on the wall.

On the ceiling are paintings of various constellations. It's rather beautiful.

Tim also notices he feels no pain. None. Not even the aches of his bones after years of abuse while fighting crime. He thinks that's a bit strange since the last thing he could clearly remember was barely escaping Ra's al Ghul, losing his spleen, and gaining more wounds from angry assassins on his way out.

He had been flying half-blind, blinking in and out of awareness. He thinks at one point, Cassie had attempted to call him, and he may have answered, but for the life of him, he couldn't remember what he told her.

He did remember what she said in response. She sounded so desperate as she begged over the S-Batplane speakers. "Please, Tim, you're not well. Let us help you. Just tell me where you are."

Too bad for her, since the S in S-Batplane stand for Secert because Tim had built that one on his own in Secert. There was no way she or any of the hero community could track him in it since they had no idea it existed until Tim had taken it and his supplies on his solo mission to save Bruce.

Tim will admit that he is happy they noticed he went missing- even if it was three months too late. Not that it mattered much. The rest of the Bats wanted nothing to do with him. The world only saw him as a young easy wallet as a shiny new CEO. And his friends were all dead or convinced he was insane by Dick.

Tim didn't have anyone to notice he was gone anymore. But Bruce needed him to push through the ache and get him home.

As the Robin who Bruce trained to put the mission first no matter the cost, the one that came after Jason's death so, Bruce stopped allowing himself to think of Robin as a son and more along the lines of a soldier; he quickly shut down the crying child that wailed for someone to believe him, to support him.

Sometimes it felt like Tim was still waiting by the door of Drake Manor, waiting for someone to come and care for him, to stay for him.

The door to his room opens, snapping Tim back to the present. He automatically stiffens, expecting more of the League of Assassins. He can't remember much, but he guessed he was captured by the fact he was sitting in a green glowing water.

He was not, however, expecting a Yeti to walk in, reading a clipboard.

The Yeti looks up, bearing its teeth at Tim when he notices him awake. It takes a moment to realize the action is supposed to be a smile. "Great One's Honored Guest, I am so glad you have awakened. I am FrostBite, your doctor for the remainder of your recovery."

Okay. Ra's has Yetis at his disposal.

He was the only person that Tim knew as the "Great One." Usually, his most loyal operatives too, which means he was deep within Ra's territory.

FrostBrite pauses for a response, but when Tim remains silent, he holds up his board. "It seems to me that most of your wounds have healed. The only problem is that your spleen could not be salvaged due to the damage."

Tim fights to keep the despair off his face. He figured that was the case, seeing as Ras's had it in a jar, but he had hoped.

"...I understand this may be a difficult adjustment. You will always have to be careful when being ill. Even a simple cold could be disastrous." Frostbite steps close, taping one giant claw on the tub's edge. "The Great One has ordered we keep consistent Ecoplasm Baths at the ready for the remainder of your natural life."

Fuck. The Yeti is saying Ra will never let him leave again. It's a threat disguised as a offer of help.

Tim glares down at his hands. They lay within Lazarus' water, gently healing his small scars. This must be some of the purest Lazarus he's ever seen. It must be Ra's own special blend.

The only reason he is wasting it on Tim is that Ra's wants an heir from him. Or for him to become the Heir. He doesn't know, which makes him feel worse but he does know what lust looks like.

It's one that Ra's has aimed at him for too long.

He may as well get this over with. Learn as much as he can. Plan an escape. The best way to do all that is to simply ask.

"When is the wedding?"

Frostbite freezes. "I beg your pardon? Whos wedding?"

"Th Great One and mine" because the madman would never allow a bastard to inherit his empire.

"You and the Great One....are paramours?" Frostbite sounds awe. Shoot his medic doesn't know anything. The Yeti is likely low ranking.

Tim looks away, and the giant white creature jerks into action. "I apologize for not treating the Great One's beloved properly. I shall have servants bring up a meal while you soak. And the finest robe we have! Sweets and messages....offers of gold?....humans always like gold."

He waits until the Yeti leaves, mumbles of giving him the royal treatment echoing in his wake. Tim sighs, sinking into the water. He knows he is being watched as that's what he would do, so for now he needs to stay put and heal.

He's never going to get Bruce back if he acts too rashly without knowing where he is and what else Ra has under his control. Yetis were no easy feat to beat on his own. He like to avoid....a vampire or something too.

Half an hour later, FrostBite returns with the promised meal and change of clothes. Smaller Yetis help him dress in threads of the finest silks. They feel like heaven on his sensitive skin. Tim feels soft and warm all over, pampered beyond belief.

It's been so long since he just had a moment to rest.

He asks for a walk which he is only permitted after Frostbites clears him. It's while he is wandering that he realizes he is in some winter castle. Everywhere he looks, there is ice, snow, and yetis.

He notices all the guards and makes mental maps of possible weak spots. He wonders why he's not freezing despite only being in a thin silk robe. A form of magic?

A few yetis- servants he can tell by their mannerisms- bow as he wanders about. He can't tell where he is based on the sun or the environment. It's....somehow different.

"That's him?" A young female voice asks. He turns his head slightly to catch the speaker in his provisional vision. It's one of the smaller Yetis....he assumes she's a child? Hard to tell when she still towers over him. "The Great One's future spouse?"

"Yes, I heard King Frostbite, himself, tell the Head Butler"

"He's weak," another Yeti says with disapproval. He sounds male but young as well. Not even a teenager. "He does not even have a core."

"He is a human." A much older voice replies. She sounds like Tim's age based on vocal cords. "Humans are not meant to have cores. Despite this he is a formidable fighter. He has to be to have attracted the Great One's eye."

"Maybe not. I heard humans enjoy being cared for like children. They even call partners things like Mommy and Daddy."

"Why?" The boy Yeti sounds horrified.

"Apparently it's seen as attractive"

"That's disgusting."

Tim turns a corner cutting off the conversation as the Yetis snap to attention. They bow low at the waist as he walks by.

He nods at them, which seems to startle a lot of them. Not that he's surprised. The AL Ghuls likely treated them like decorations and never fully acknowledged them.

Tim barely hears the young boy gasp. "He's beautiful."

"That's likely why the Great One is so bestowed."

Tim sighs walking back to his room with a escape plan half formed.

Elsewhere, the rumor mill in the Ghost Zone is running over time as news of King Phantom's human husband-to-be is spread far and wide. Leaders of the Ghost Zone quickly prepare for a ball that will likely be called to celebrate the union.

They have gifts gathered, each wanting to gain favor with the King. The Far Frozen gets overwhelming requests to visit the future Consort, but seeing as King Phantom had to return to the human world, thus leaving his fiancé in their care, they reject all. They do not want the boy to be overwhelmed or caught unawares if he is not tried in any form of politics.

It would not allow him to become a threat to the King's authority's pawn.

This led to even more rumors starting.

By the time they reached John Constine- the only human who has any form of contact with the Realms- the word is that King Phantom's human was currently carrying their child, wanting to marry before the baby was born, and that he was running from a group of humans known as "The Bats."

He was as beautiful as the King Phantom was powerful- which meant he was utterly breathtaking for a human- and that King Phantom was currently in the human world hunting down those who threaten his family.

Across the dimension plane, Danny is blissfully unaware of the misunderstanding as he is busy filling out college scholarship applications. He has only one more year before he graduates, but he would like to go somewhere away from Amity Park.

The Wayne Scholarship is a long and lengthy process, but it will be worth it. A full ride with board and meals? Yes, the housing will be in Gotham but it's a small price to pay.

He wonders if his number one fan has awakened. Frostbite would have contacted him if his guest had escaped the coma.

Tim Drake had been asleep for nearly a week, only kept healthy due to Danny bathing him in his Protective Core ectoplasm and the Yeti's multi-species medical knowledge. As it were, Tim appeared to only be taking a small nap, none of the adverse effects of long slumber appearing on his thin body, but Danny was getting worried.

At this point, he didn't even care how Tim knew his secret. He just wanted him to be alright.

A flash of green light causes Danny to spring away from his laptop, body falling into a natural fighter's stance only to blink at the giant gift wrap present laying on his bed. Cautiously he inspects the gift finding it from Princess Dora.

"May your love lead the Realms into a wonderous future, and may your union bear many children." He reads the small note she had attracted to her gift "What children?"

Pulling open the gift, he stares at two sets of King robes decorated with rubies shaped into snowflakes. More miniature robes and a few booties surround the pair, obviously meant as a family gift.

Tuck to the side of the box is a long and deadly-looking sword. It's pitch black, with a scull as a handle. Dora had tired a scroll to its blade, where she had written My armies are ready to yield to you. You need only to swing this sword, and they shall come to your aid. The Bats will not harm your treasure.

What in the world?

[theycalledhimastar]

SIMON RILEY ICKS SIMON RILEY ICKS SIMON RILEY-

(Not really icks, just more weird stuff bcs this is funny)

☄. *.

Simon has like the worst acne ever around his eyebrows and nose you won't ever change my mind because I know for a fact he does little more than rinse his face with soap and water. Not even facial soap, man uses body wash or hand soap and thinks that's enough. Like he doesn't wear a nasty balaclava and eye black whenever he's out on mission.

Speaking of which, his mask stinks. Like really bad. Man is sweaty and dirty and gross and those things are not easy to clean when you're constantly busy, so they smell like sweat, dirt, and the worst kinds of bad breath. You have no clue how he wears these when they smell that rank.

Buys off-brand everything because he doesn't really care one way or another and that wouldn't be so bad, except it's literally everything. His toothpaste, shampoo, body wash, deodorant. Man literally doesn't consistently smell like any one thing because he just cannot be bothered.

Like he's loyal as hell to you, but not loyal to any kind of brand. So his smells clash and you swear that mask has made him scent blind.

Baby isn't lazy when it comes to hygiene, like he washes well, just with a new scent and brand literally every time he gets more shampoo.

He has more important things to worry about, okay? Like you.

He has really bad sense of privacy, and by that I mean he doesn't care. When it comes to you, he will literally piss with the door open and not care, even if you walk in. Or, you could be taking a shower and man will literally go in to use the toilet, brush his teeth, and then leave with the door wide open.

he doesn't see the problem, either. Like babes, we live together, may as well be comfortable, right? You're just showering, he's gonna see it all sooner or later.

not to say he doesn't respect your privacy if you tell him its important to you, he still has his private moments too, of course. Truth be told, he just likes being near you even when he's literally using the bathroom. The weirdo.

Looks like he isn't paying attention to the television when you put it on, but literally, he knows more about the show than you do and you don't even realize it. Like he doesn't miss a thing despite not even looking up at the screen.

silly goose, that's because his love language is learning absolutely everything about stuff you like so that he can talk about it with you. Except he accidentally becomes more fluent in it than you because he goes overkill. :3

*This isn't weird, but i know Simon gets grumpy when you call him cute lil nicknames (in moments that aren't serious, of course.). Like his face when you call him ridiculous nicknames (ironically), is so perfect. It's like he knows you love it. (He probably does.)

"Hey Pookie?"

... >:(

He's literally precious sometimes.

[matan4il]

Hello

I saw a comment you made in your post about eurovision that had a statistic of 90% of Jews are Zionists (I think this is what it said but I might be wording it wrong, in which case I'm sorry) and I wanted to know if you had a source for this information? I'm genuinely curious because I don't think I've heard this before.

Hi Nonnie!

It's so funny, that statistic is actually so very commonly recited among Jews, it's a reminder that what we consider "basic knowledge" is often more about our specific environment and experience, rather than a universal principle.

Okay, so to be accurate, this statistic is an estimate based on separate polls and indicators from different Jewish communities around the world, because as far as I know, no one has ever done a global survey on Zionism among Jews. Usually, this would make me somewhat reserved, but honestly, the localized polls and indicators are so consistent, and in every community we find that the overwhelming majority of Jews ARE Zionist, that I think the 90% of Jews are Zionist is somewhere between reliable to possibly even being a bit of an underestimate.

Something I find interesting, is that where they posed two questions, which asked Jews, "Are you a Zionist?" and another that asked, "Do you believe Israel has the right to exist?" the answer was affirmative in higher percentages for the latter. It's a little like the difference between asking, "Are you a feminist?" and "Do you believe women deserve equal rights?" Where the word 'feminist' has been vilified, and distorted, people might hesitate to define themselves that way, despite believing in equal rights for women (even though that's the basic belief of a feminist), answering "no" to the former and "yes" to the latter. Similarly, the belief in Israel's right to exist IS the definition of a Zionist, while the term itself is being demonized. You believe in a right for the Jewish state to exist, just like a state for every other nation has the right to exist, or even just based on the fact that a Jewish state already exists and destroying it would be a disastrous act of ethnic cleansing? Congrats, you're a Zionist. You can be critical of its current government, but you're still a Zionist. It's that simple. The fact that even when people are sometimes reluctant to define themselves as Zionist, they still believe in the fundamental principle of Zionism, is what leads me to believe that even some of these surveys, if they only ask, "Are you a Zionist?" are actually an underrepresentation of how many Jews are Zionist.

I hope this helps! Have a good day!

(for more of my posts regarding antisemitism and Israel, click here)

[iknowyuu]

helloooo i was wondering if you could do a fanfic where the reader is clumsy please? like girl is so clumsy that even sieun gotta hold her mf hand so she doesnt fall like damnn... BUT YEA i hope this is a good idea 😕anyways i hope u have a good day, remember to not overwork yourself much okay? <33

kdrama! sieun x reader

// read req! around 1k words

note: shaki my fave. this ask is probably a year old LMFAOO, pero espero que disfrutas anyway !!!

daily click to help palestine and other important causes!

any outsider who happened to be looking into your life- whatever god that’s out there, whatever mysterious force that’s looking, controlling you like you were a sim had to be getting a laugh. in fact, they had to have been steadily laughing for at least a year now.

and for god’s sake, “ouch!” is not your favorite word!!

these thoughts ran through your head just as you bumped into the doorframe as you were attempting to enter your classroom. none of your classmates even looked up at the noise. they were all so used to your clumsiness that it became a daily routine. it was like a little warning that there was ten minutes left before class.

you make your way to your seat, pouting with your arms crossed. you don’t blink or move, even as the boy who sat beside you placed an ice pack on your desk. “thank you.” you mumble begrudgingly, placing it on your elbow.

sieun was like that, too— well, not the never-ending confusion in your balance as well as perception, causing you to constantly trip over invisible matter (air). it’s the consistency. every time you walked home from school together, you would trip over a pebble. every time the two of you were in the lunch line, you’d drop your money, trying to count exact change. i think you get the idea; he was like you in a sense that he expected it.

at lunch, you would constantly complain to sieun about it, telling him the amount of bruises or cuts you'd gotten that day. "sieunnnn," you'd draw out through your attractive pouty lips, sitting down at your usual table, waiting for suho and young-yi to arrive. "look at the paper cut i got. you'd think that my skin would've developed a thicker skin after the amount of times i've nearly died," you say dramatically. "it's so annoying.." you sigh, absentmindedly grabbing a hand of his, playing with his fingers. you sit next to him, placing an arm on the table, and laying your head on your arm, staring up at him.

he didn't say anything, only staring at the way you played with his fingers. he tried not to pay attention to the way you gave him butterflies, and from the way he only gets it from your touch. "it's so unfair. how come this never happens to you.." you ask dejectedly, bringing his fingers towards your lips. "or suho... or young-yi.." you mumble, kissing each of the pads of his fingers, before teasingly blowing at his pinky.

he snatched his hand from you embarrassedly, looking away with a deep blush on his face. "its your fault. you need to pay more attention where you're going."

you scoff. "my fault? are you serious? you know, i was never like this before i met you." you sat up. "it's your fault. maybe if you stopped looking at me with those eyes, stopped hanging around me, stopped looking so cute, and stopped living in my mind i'd be able to finally live my life pain-free." you say, heaving a heavy sigh just as you spotted your friends walking towards the table. the words that had just left your mouth instantly left your consciousness when you waved at them, giggling at the stupid face suho was making.

sieun, though, did not move. instead, he sat there, blushing and thinking.

yes, it's true. ever since the big-eyed introvert entered your life, you suddenly became less and less aware of your surroundings, yet more and more aware of the way sieun's hair would stick up in certain places after you ruffled it. or, even how the tip of his ears would light up red after you complimented him.

he didn't pay you (or anyone else) any mind at all when he was a school-obsessed nerd, but now that he has a social life for once, he was beginning to realize that you only treat him like this. you did not kiss the tips of suho's fingers, nor did you hold the waist of young-yi. it was only him.

these thoughts plagued his mind as the school day came and went, and as per usual, the two of you were walking home together. the sunset was just approaching, and the whole city was bathed in a golden hue, reflecting off of every surface to be found. the two of you walked side by side.

"sorry."

"what?" you turned to look at sieun with curiosity. "sorry for what?"

"for being the one who distracts you all the time. you always get hurt because of me." he says, looking down at the ground as the two of you continue walking.

"sieun.. i was just jo-" he interrupted you, "i should take responsibility for my actions." he said, boldly grabbing your hand and pulling you towards him, just narrowly saving you from bumping your shoulder into a pole.

"o-oh." you say. for once, you were the one who was embarrassed. it didn't last long though, as you giggled softly you interlaced your fingers with his. you miss the way he squeezes your hand, looking away with a faint smile on his face.

"it's about time." you whisper, looking down with a smile that was the opposite of his. noticeable and wide.

[sturniolo04]

My Little Pretty Girl C.S.

Bf!Chris x Gf!Reader

Summary: in which Chris loves to compare his and Paisley's height.

A/N: Please leave requests in my inbox; running out of writing ideas

It's not an unknown fact that you are by far smaller than Chris, your boyfriend of 2 years. Smaller in size; smaller in height. It just is what it is. Your 4' 11' figure is something Chris not only loves about you out of the many things he adores about you but it is also the number one thing he loves to tease you about consistently.

"Paisley what are you doing!"

"Chris i just want the box up in the cabinet but i-"

"can't reach it baby girl, here i got it"

"I could have just grabbed a chair you know"

"and risk my little pretty girl getting hurt, not a chance"

and let's face it too being that short never has its advantages, ever, especially on the days that I have an extremely clingy Chris.

"Chris come on give me my keys i have to go home"

"if you can reach them you can have them"

"Chris seriously that's not even fair, you know I have to go home i have been at your house all weekend"

" When are you coming back then"

" tomorrow babe"

" fine if you have to go home"

"Finally, thank you"

"see you tomorrow then my little pretty girl"

You love Chris with your full heart but sometimes he makes you upset from time to time, which he never fully takes seriously because of your tiny figure.

"oh she's mad"

"Chris stop I'm so for real why did you eat my food in the fridge"

"Baby I'm sorry but it's so hard to take you seriously when you are like having to look up at me and try to be intimidating"

"Chris stop"

"okay okay sorry pretty girl i will get you more food "

"yeah you will"

"you know youre really cute when you mad like this"

"seriously babe"

"oh come on you know i love teasing you my little pretty girl"

in the end, you love being his little pretty girl

Taglist

@adirtylittleheart @mintsturniolo

[wongyuseokie]

Snuggly | k.m.g

Summary: It’s cold outside, and your annoyingly handsome roommate keeps leaving his very comfy leather jacket everywhere around the apartment, and you’ve returned it to him multiple times, but this time you’re sure you’ll just keep it if he forgets it again. Except for the one time he returns to retrieve the jacket, he finds you in the most compromising position possible.

☆ 18+ minors dni |☀︎fluff | ♕ smut | ♥ completed works

Word Count: 2732 words

Pairings: Kim Mingyu x Female Reader

Genre/Trope(s)/AUs: Frenemies (?) to lovers. Smut, angst, fluff. Basically, a smutty fluff piece to keep y’all warm during the colder months.

Content Warnings: Smut and fluff, mentions of Mingyu’s chapped lips. DO NOT EVER GOOGLE IT IS TRAGIC. They both tease and like each other and are just kind of adorable and cute. Mingyu is confident and shy all at once, and it's devastating.

Smut Warnings: Unprotected sex (don’t do this, wrap it before you tap it). Masturbation (female), Mingyu walks in and volunteers to help her out. Fingering, overstimulation. Oral (female receiving). Nicknames? Mingyu calls her baby, and pretty girl. Nicknames, Mingyu calls her Kitten, Princess, Baby. Teasing. Dirty talk, but its mild. I think.

Authors Note 1: Literally no reason for this fic, aside from Rock With You Mingyu being the reason I got curious about Seventeen and remembered him as a ‘handsome guy with the leather jacket.’

Authors Note 2: Thank you to @here4btsfics, for always listening to me go on and on about Seventeen and Mingyu. Thank you for beta’ ing and helping me out with the smut. I struggled. I adore you and love you 💕 A huge thank you to @the-boy-meets-evil for listening to me fret about this fic, up until posting!! I adore you. Also, thank you to @seungkwansphd for listening to me worry too. Thank you so much for hearing me out and listening to me!! Ilysm 🥺🥺💕💕

Cross Posted on AO3 © wongyuseokie 2023. All rights reserved.

“Hey, Y/N, have you seen my jacket? Oh, you’re wearing it,” Mingyu spoke as he walked into the kitchen that evening.

“I keep telling you, Kim. If you leave this lovely jacket around. Then one of these days, I’ll keep it, and I won’t return it,” you teased. Even if you meant every word, his jacket was insanely comfy, and you would gladly take it.

Mingyu smiled as he flopped down on the couch next to you. “Even if you look adorable in it, no,” Mingyu said as he made himself comfortable.

“I’m adorable?” You asked with a grin, and Mingyu nodded.

“Yes, but I still think I look better in the jacket,” Mingyu added, making you roll your eyes.

“Of course you do. With a face and body like that, you could wear anything,” you blurted out, making Mingyu grin.

“You think I’m hot?” Mingyu asked, raising his eyebrows at you.

“Shut up, Kim,” you mumbled, making him laugh.

“It’s okay. I’d say the feeling is mutual. Remember that kiss we shared last Christmas?” Mingyu asked.

“We were standing under the mistletoe,” you countered, and Mingyu shrugged.

“It doesn’t take away from the fact that a peck turned into a proper kiss,” Mingyu added, and you shrugged.

“I hope you are at least consistently wearing lip balm this year. I recall those dry lips,” you teased, making Mingyu gasp dramatically at you.

“Just because I had dry lips the first time we met doesn’t mean I always have dry lips,” Mingyu defended, making you laugh.

“Besides, I know my lips were damn soft that year because one, I kept using the lip balm that you not so subtly gifted me as a housewarming gift and two, you went in for more after, when everyone left,” Mingyu babbled, making you grin shyly.

“I also remember you pawing this exact jacket while kissing me,” Mingyu teased, and you huffed at him pouting.

“Maybe I was only kissing you for the jacket,” you retorted, making Mingyu laugh.

“Possibly, but somehow I still have the jacket, and you keep conveniently ‘stealing’ it,” Mingyu joked, and you sighed in frustration that he had a point.

“But I’m heading out to the gym now. Want me to get you anything for dinner?” Mingyu asked as he stood up, and you shook your head.

“Won’t you be cold? You can have this back for the night,” you offered, and Mingyu smiled.

“Nah, I’ll drive there, besides. I think this shirt accentuates the biceps more. That jacket would hide the hard work,” Mingyu teased, and you rolled your eyes at him.

“Ugh, go away, you’re so annoying,” you mumbled, making Mingyu laugh.

“Bye, bye,” Mingyu said as they bent down to place a kiss on your cheek.

It was just something he did. When he first moved in, you discovered he was cuddly and affectionate. If you had to describe Mingyu’s personality, it’d be like a golden retriever with the clinginess of a koala. It was incredibly adorable and endearing and very hazardous to your health. You had a little crush on him just from the first day you met him because he was incredibly handsome, tall, and built, but when you got to know him, you fell for him. Mingyu was kind, caring, intelligent and clumsy, the perfect balance.

Granted, he broke more things in a week than most people did in a year, but never did he break your trust, plans or anything that ever hurt you. He was incredible, and you knew you were dancing on a fine line, constantly cuddling, flirting, and teasing him, but it was mutual that you both did it. You just knew that if both of you kept going this way, you’d implode and tell him in the most rushed way possible. You couldn’t lose a good roommate over it, so you just kept it to yourself, but oh boy, did Mingyu make that difficult for you.

Mingyu was hell-bent on riling you up, you two were snowed in, and Mingyu had to get his exercise in, so he decided to go shirtless and wear his grey joggers and work out in the living room. Now, you didn’t care what he did. This was your house as much as it was his, but it was sinful. The way his muscles flexed and the sweat trickled down his body accentuated every muscle on his body. You were sure he was Adonis incarnate.

You didn’t mind Mingyu working out. You just minded that he looked that fucking good doing it.

“Twenty-six,” Mingyu huffed out, counting out his reps as you walked into the kitchen.

You had a plan, too. If he wanted to rile you up with working out nearly naked, you could prance around the house doing the same. You wore a lace bralette and tiny shorts and headed into the living room under the pretence of finding something.

“Aren’t you cold?” Mingyu yelped when he saw you. He tried hard not to stare, but he was only human, and all he could see was how little you wore and how wonderful you looked.

“Aren’t you?” You shot back.

“Kitten, I’m working out. I’m sweating, you, on the other hand,” Mingyu responded, and you bit your lip at his mention of ‘kitten.’

“What’s wrong?” Mingyu asked as he walked closer to you.

“Ew, you’re sweaty,” you whined, but you didn’t mind. You had often imagined Mingyu’s sweaty body close and hovering over you. Granted, he was buried deep inside you and in your dreams.

“I don’t think you’d mind if I were sweaty and staring at you like this?” Mingyu teased, calling you out on your bluff and making you bump your hip into the corner of a table.

“You okay, kitten?” Mingyu asked, and you glared at him.

“What is this kitten business?” You asked.

“Just testing to see which one you liked,” Mingyu responded.

“What if I didn’t like it?” You asked.

“How about princess?” Mingyu offered, and you shook your head at him.

“No,” you mumbled, making Mingyu grin.

“Don’t you worry, pretty girl, I’ll find out what you like,” Mingyu said, determined, and you turned away from him to head into the kitchen. You hoped he didn’t notice how you bit your lip at him calling you ‘pretty girl’ or the gasp you stifled.

You were going to kill Kim Mingyu, that much you were sure. You just didn’t know how. You had tried to get to sleep, but every time you closed your eyes, all you saw was Mingyu, sweaty and huffing, his muscles flexing, and your depraved mind could only imagine him like that on top of you, inside you.

“Fuck it,” you cursed, kicking the blanket off your chest, so it covered your lower half. Sitting up, you pulled your bralette off, threw it across the room, and laid back on the bed. You started slowly, hands on your breasts, moving to rub your nipples, moaning as you felt them harden under your touch. While massaging your breast, your other hand travelled down to your pussy. You imagined Mingyu’s large hands on your breasts, flicking and pinching your nipples. You were already dripping, sliding a finger up and down your wet folds, soft moans leaving your mouth as you touched yourself. You circled your clit slowly, moaning, as you slid your fingers down to your dripping entrance. You pushed a finger inside and immediately groaned at how it did nothing for you, and pushed in another and moaned. Two of your fingers at least did something. You fingered yourself, trying so hard to reach your g-spot that you knew Mingyu’s long fingers could reach. You found it useless, so you pulled your fingers out of yourself, placed them back on your clit, and rubbed again, adding more pressure and speed.

It felt good, just not as good. God knows how long you were rubbing your clit, but you felt yourself getting closer to the brink of the release you had been dying for. “Hey, Y/N, do you know where my jacket is? Oh, my goodness! I’m so sorry!” Mingyu yelled out, ducking and covering his eyes once he barged into your room. “Knock much?” You groaned out. You were extremely grateful for the blanket covering your lower half, even if your breasts were exposed. “Sorry, I just heard my name. I think it was quite faint, and I, hang on,” Mingyu slowed down as realisation hit him. “Were you getting off, imagining me?” Mingyu teased, and you groaned. “Maybe, now, can you go so I can deal with this, and you can tease me later?” You barked, and Mingyu shrugged.

“Or,” Mingyu started to say. “Or what?” You snapped. “I could help?” Mingyu offered, making you pull your fingers away from your clit and jump up in shock. “Uh,” you fumbled. Your resolve was melting under his gaze, making you squirm. “If you need some help, all you have to do is ask,” Mingyu suggested, making you clench at his words and tone. “Let me make you cum. You know I’m the only one who can,” Mingyu purred, making you give in. “Fuck, please,” you begged. Mingyu sat down next to you and moved the blanket away. He quickly pulled off your shorts and panties along with it, groaning when he saw your glistening core.

Mingyu moved his hands, trailing up and down your thighs until his fingers could no longer resist the urge to play with your aching core. “Breathe, pretty girl, I got you,” Mingyu eased as he slowly moved his hand down your dripping core and pushed two long fingers inside, making you buck into his touch immediately. “Fuck, pretty baby. You were thinking about me while you were fucking yourself, weren’t you? That’s why you’re making a mess of these sheets?” Mingyu asked, and you could feel the smirk in his voice as he pumped his fingers in and out of your pussy. You could feel yourself starting to unravel and fall apart at his ministrations. “Yes,” you moaned out, the words tumbling out of your mouth before you could think about them. You grabbed his forearm, indicating your orgasm was close. “C’mon, pretty baby, cum all over my fingers. Show me how much you want to cum,” Mingyu spoke as he kept thrusting his fingers in you, rubbing against your g-spot every time.

Something snapped in you, and you came. You whined as Mingyu kept moving his fingers, making you hiss at the overstimulation. “Fuck, I can’t,” you cried out, trying to move his arm away and fingers out of your cunt, but Mingyu had other plans as he leaned down and attached his lips to your swollen clit and sucked harshly, leaving you a whimpering and moaning mess. Mingyu finally showed mercy and sat straight, taking in your fucked out expression as he palmed his growing erection. “Good baby?” He asked, his lips wet and shiny with your release. “So, fucking good,” you mewled.

There was a moment of silence that passed where you noticed Mingyu palming his hardened length, it was then you noticed that he was shirtless, and his sweats were slung very low, dangerously low on his hips.

“More,” you mumbled.

“Use your words. What do you want?” Mingyu responded, his voice deeper and huskier than usual, and it made you clench even more.

“Touch me, Mingyu,” you choked out.

“I just did, pretty girl,” Mingyu responded, making you groan.

“Mingyu,”

“Yes?”

“Fuck me,” you said breathlessly, making Mingyu groan as he palmed his hardness.

“Gladly.”

Mingyu moved quickly as he kicked off his sweats and climbed between your thighs. You felt yourself drool as you took in his naked form. Every inch of him was carved beautifully, and you weren’t sure if you’d call a penis pretty, but he had it. Every inch of him was attractive.

“Take a picture. It’ll last longer,” Mingyu teased when he caught you staring at him.

“Fuck you,” you muttered.

“Oh, trust me, kitten, that’s exactly what you’ll get,” Mingyu replied as he rubbed the tip of his cock against your folds, pressing it against your aching clit.

“Fuck,” you gasped, and Mingyu grinned as he slowly pushed his length into you.

“Fucking hell,” Mingyu cursed as you immediately clenched around him.

“You’re so tight, fuck, you feel so good,” Mingyu groaned as he praised you.

You were babbling absolute nonsense as Mingyu pounded into you. Mingyu reached down and rubbed your clit as he fucked you.

“Fuck,” you moaned and held onto his toned arms.

“You close?” Mingyu asked, and you simply nodded, unable to speak.

“Then cum for me, pretty girl,” Mingyu said, sending you over the edge and making you cum, making Mingyu groan and almost growl in pleasure as you clenched around him.

“Fucking hell,” you moaned as Mingyu pounded into you. His thrusts were quick and deliberate. You could tell he was desperate for a release. Mingyu moved his fingers down to your clit, rubbing roughly against it. He wanted you to cum with him.

“Come on, pretty girl, one more time, cum with me,” Mingyu encouraged as he picked up the pace, making you whimper as you felt him bring you to another orgasm.

“Fuck, fuck,” Mingyu groaned as he pounded into you, making you moan when you felt him release his warmth into you.

Mingyu groaned, burying his head between your breasts as he came, and finally lifting his head, once he caught his breath, capturing your lips in a soft kiss as he gently pulled out of you, rolling onto the bed and pulling you into his side.

“So why did you barge in?” You asked as you turned to place your head on his chest. “I know I didn’t say your name that loudly,” you added with a grin. “I was looking for my jacket,” Mingyu mumbled. “Why were you looking for your jacket at midnight?” You asked, making Mingyu grin shyly as he tried to hide under the blanket, and you tickled him until he poked his head out from under the blanket.

“I wanted to see you, so I was standing outside your door, conflicted, and then I heard the moans. I just kept thinking about that damn bralette and those shorts you were wearing, and I couldn’t sleep. I just kept thinking about you,” Mingyu admitted.

When you smiled at him, Mingyu took it as a cue to continue speaking.

“I’d leave my jacket out on purpose, I didn’t think it’d end up like this, but I guess. I wanted you to keep stealing it so I’d keep finding you and maybe use a cheesy line to make you fall for me,” Mingyu confessed shyly.

“Like what?” You asked.

“Like, I’d say something like, if you want to keep wearing my clothes, you should date me at least,” Mingyu mumbled shyly, and you smiled fondly at him.

“Why are you so damn shy?” You asked, making him blush.

“I’m confessing. I’m a shy boy,” Mingyu whined.

“You weren't shy when pounding into me a few minutes ago,” you teased, making Mingyu whine again.

“I’m taking my jacket back if you tease me,” Mingyu joked with a pout. “Fine, then I’ll be the only girl whose boyfriend doesn’t let her borrow clothes,” you replied, making Mingyu's eyes widen as he smiled.

“So, as my girlfriend, you are entitled to all my hoodies and comfy jackets?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded.

“I’m entitled to something else,” you mumbled into his chest.

“What’s that?” Mingyu asked.

“Your love,” you said, feeling shy as the words left your mouth.

“Oh, that? That’s always there,” Mingyu replied as he pulled you in closer, making you look up at him as he pulled you in for a kiss, and you knew with the way his hands were on your waist you were in for a long night. You weren’t sure how you’d tell the story of you two getting together, all because of a leather jacket and a lack of knocking. You smiled into the kiss. It was a cute story. You’d leave specific details out when retelling it.

[physics-of-one-piece]

Another day, another I'll build castles for you, my love (look at me, not my brother) snippet post. And a poll for you guys at the end bcs I'm left uncertain about a scene, ie whether to put it in or not.

I reached 15.5k words on Rosinante's part, and that's not even with all the descriptions I still need to write (collapses). It consists of numerous things: his life at Marineford & meeting Reader, his friendship with his crew, proposal, wedding, married life, his decision to take on the Donquixote Family mission, and the main part of course being his 2 weeks spent with Law & Reader at the house. I'm gonna put 3 snippets here, one for Rosinante x Reader, one for Law & Rosinante, one for Doflamingo x Reader. All of them are mostly dialogue, bcs I really want to show the vibe of the fic without showing too much, and just the difference between the brothers overall.

Writing some of Doflamingo's thoughts really had me: "YOU ARE NOT IN HOLY LAND, IN FACT THERE IS NOTHING HOLY ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS, SOMEBODY ARREST HIM OMG 😭😭" the only NSFW for now is just Doffy & his thoughts, and honestly, I'm fine with that being the only nsfw part of the fic? I'm just not yet confident enough writing actual smut, but I'll try it for them both cus they both love Reader 😤

Okay, onto the snippets:

Rosinante x Reader

“Rosinante,” you said. “I think you love your brother.”

Rosinante’s fingers paused mid-way in grabbing the empty bowl. You grabbed it instead, while he stared at you, mouth open, frozen in the moment.

You looked at him, and he felt naked. His heart was beating all around his body, and he wondered if he unconsciously put up a Silent bubble around the two of you, because everything felt so quiet, so intimate.

“If you really hate your brother, then I think it’s fine not to be able to forgive him. But, you’re a really kind person, so it looks to me like you love him despite of everything. It’s really admirable.”

“I won’t ever forgive him for abandoning you,” you said, frowning as you continued picking up the dinnerware. “He isn’t my brother, after all. To me, he’s a stranger who hurt the man I love, so I won’t be able to ever forgive him!”

Rosinante felt like his heart would explode; it was beating so fast, the thumping beats incredibly loud, resounding in his ears. He felt hot all over, and he felt himself starting to sweat.

Your expression softened when you looked at him.

“But, you’re different,” you said softly, staring up at him lovingly. You smiled at him, gentle and beautiful. “And I love that about you.”

That was it. Rosinante's body reached its limit after such words. It caught aflame from the inside, his face turning tomato red, steam exploding from his ears as the blush painted his entire face crimson.

Rosinante & Law (get ready for a gut punch)

“You’re not gonna die!” yelled Rosinante.

“Promise!” yelled Law.

“Of course I -” started Rosinante passionately, but Law cut him off.

“No!” yelled Law. He turned his face up toward Rosinante, and Rosinante felt like all the air was punched out of his gut at the sight of Law’s pleading, agonised face, his big grey eyes full of tears. “Promise if it doesn’t work, if the Op-Op Fruit doesn’t heal me, you’ll take me back here! Where I can… be with you and (Y/N)-san!”

Rosinante’s eyes widened, staring at Law.

Law’s trembling, tiny fingers clenched tight onto Rosinante’s pink dress shirt. “Promise that we’ll go to the beach every day, and we’ll have barbeque with your friends together. They’re not like them… they… they feel real.”

Law went on. “Promise we’ll eat meals together at the table, and pick cabbage and tomatoes together!”

Law… thought Rosinante, his eyes filling with tears.

“And when I start dying…” Law’s voice cracked, and he looked down, his fingers gripping tighter on Rosinante’s shirt, “when it starts killing me… I want you and (Y/N)-san to hold my hands!”

Law sobbed, his body trembling with the force of it, his snot clogging his nose.

“I don’t want to die alone!” cried Law desperately, the words coming from the depths of his chest.

Rosinante’s lips trembled, his heart weeping for the boy. His hands reached out, and wrapped around Law, pulling him close.

“Of course, kid. I promise. I promise, Law.”

“You won’t die alone,” said Rosinante, tears sliding down his eyes.

Law bawled into Rosinante’s shirt, clinging to him tight, weeping. Rosinante held him tight, cradling Law's head to his chest, hugging him close to his heart.

Doflamingo x Reader

“Your husband wasn’t a saint.” sneered Doflamingo, brows furrowed.

“Neither are you,” you replied firmly. “You were going to kill him either way, whether he was a traitor or not. Rosi chose how he would die, and it wasn’t for you.”

You continued glaring at the man swathed in the pink feathers.

It was for Law. All for Law. He wanted Law to be healthy, to be free. Rosinante wanted that so much he was willing to abandon the marines themselves, playing a double game with them and Doflamingo, fooling them both, getting the fruit for Law. Never in his life did Rosinante lie to Sengoku - the man was his adopted father, after all.

Except once.

When he told Sengoku he would stay away from the island.

Doflamingo’s smile fell, his mouth settling into a thin line. For a long, tense moment, he didn’t speak.

Doflamingo smirked, his smile curved like the moon.

“Well, I can imagine how much more it must hurt then, that he didn’t live for you.” he said, the cruel words coming out in a tone of nonchalance, folding his long arms behind his head, putting his right leg atop his knee. He tilted his head toward you, still wearing that devilish smile, and said, “He wasn’t even alive long enough to find out you’re pregnant.”

Your stomach hurt. Your heart wept.

Doflamingo didn’t give you time to recover. He went on.

“And where is he now, huh? Your marine hero? Where is my little brother to protect you from me? I’ll tell you where. Bottom of the sea. Do you want to know why I’m here and he isn’t? Because he let the marines brainwash him, made him hate me, and stuck his nose in my business. I welcomed him back with open arms, without any questions asked, and he spat in my face.”

Doflamingo spoke it all with a smile. Soon, that too, was gone. “Do you want to know why I’m the leader of the family?”

“Because I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty. Because I’m not soft like my father, or my brother. Because I don’t let my emotions cloud my judgement. When there’s a problem, I handle it. If my family is threatened, I protect it, no matter what it takes, no matter who I have to kill. The world won’t bend to a fist with no weight, or a good-hearted fool.”

“And that’s why your husband is dead and you’re stuck with me.” Doflamingo sneered, his grin demonic, wide and cruel, filling your vision. “Because he was the weaker one of the two of us.”

****

Okay, so for the poll, I am indecided on whether Law & Doflamingo should meet/interact at the hospital when the baby is born, as both will be present there in that location. I'm of the thought Doflamingo would, as delusional as he is, let Law do as he pleased with the "oh, he's having an indepentant phase, I'll leave him alone and he'll come back to the fold" attitude since Doflamingo doesn't know Law witnessed him killing Rosinante. But then another part of me is thinking Doflamingo might attempt a grab for Law since Law is still 1) not as strong 2) still young and frail-looking (even despite getting a full ass growth spurt from 110 cm to 150-160 cm after healing himself from the Lead Disease)

Taglist: @fanaticsnail @daydreamer-in-training

Oh, and have this pic of how Law & Rosi would be at home with Reader if Rosi survived. (Because if I have to suffer, so do you + this is def how Law looks like in the fic next time Reader sees him after Rosi's death)

Art source

[pyrrhiccomedy]

the one thing I have heard probably the most consistently, from the most people, since being diagnosed with breast cancer, is that I have a "good attitude;" meaning, that I make jokes about having cancer, which makes whoever is listening to me feel better about the fact that I have cancer.

Here's the thing - the worst part of having cancer (so far, in my experience - I'll update as this progresses) is having to live with the constant, oppressive dread that right now, somewhere in my body, a cancer cell is taking root in my bones, or in my lungs. That it will silently grow, and spread, and eventually become rampant and untreatable, killing me decades before my time, and I won't know that I'm on that course until it's too late to do anything about it. That I will have to leave my wife alone, that she will have to watch me die painfully and without dignity, and that I will leave this world without having had the time to see so much of what makes it beautiful and strange.

this is not a funny thought!

However, the second worst part of having cancer is - okay, so they removed the tumor, right, and at the same time, they also removed a clump of lymph nodes in my armpit. They do that to test whether or not the cancer has spread. So coming out of surgery, I have two incision sites: one above where the tumor was, and the other one on my trunk right about where your bra passes under your arm.

And that means I'm not allowed to wear deodorant for ten days.

Imagine me: stinky, in my bed. I am an adult woman with a beating heart. I will not claim I have any greater share of dignity or wisdom than a typical example of my cohort, but I have lived and learned and erred, and amassed a small collection of accomplishments which I would not be ashamed to present to God at my reckoning, should such a being exist, and should such a reckoning take place. Times when I have shown meaningful kindness to someone when it would have been more convenient or popular to do nothing. Times when I have told a necessary truth to my own painful detriment. Things I have made that possessed, to at least a meager measure, a glimmer of genuine beauty. Trust I have earned, and not betrayed. I'm not a saint, but my soul is not nothing, and as I am forced to reckon with my own mortality in a way that few people my age ever do, I, like - I smell pretty bad? And like - my armpit is, like, clammy. I mean, how long has it been since you didn't wear deodorant for multiple days. There's a change in texture that I was not expecting. Just in the right armpit! The left armpit is fine, she gets to have deodorant.

But like, stress makes the B.O. situation not so hot, and I'm medically prohibited from doing the one thing that would rectify the situation. I own deodorant. It's right over there. I can see it from where I'm sitting. I am sure you understand of course that I am immersed in greater miseries. Even aside from the existential dread of having cancer - the incisions are painful. I'm very tired. I have two blown-out veins from when the anesthesiologist struggled to find a workable injection site before the surgery, so I have some wild bruising, and I can't really bend my left arm. But these are afflictions with some dignity. To have pain or fatigue after surgery is rather ennobled in the common discourse. But - do I have to smell like ham, too?

Must I smell like rank ham?

Of course the solution to the ham smell is just to take more showers, but bathing after surgery presents its own category of woes, which are also not particularly dignified. And it's here, caught betwixt the Scylla and Charybdis of 'smelling like old meat' and 'unwinding my boob from its surgical sling to take another ride around the wet room rodeo' that I find the humor in my situation. The feeble ape rails against her trivial but intractable stink!

And that humor spreads - much like cancer! - to everything else that it touches. It is, actually, very funny to tell someone that the joke Christmas gift they got for me is probably what gave me cancer. It's funny, when people find out I got my diagnosis on January 2nd, to blandly follow that up with "--So, 2024, not off to a great start, but 2025 is going to be my year." It's funny, when someone invites me to something we both know I probably don't want to go to, to suck air between my teeth and go, "Ooh, I would, but, you know--the cancer. Yeah, I can feel it flaring up right now. Maybe next time."

Things are funny when they subvert your expectations. People expect you to treat your cancer diagnosis very gravely, and so it's funny - to them, and to me - when I don't. And then they tell me I have "a great attitude."

"You'll be fine," I've heard over and over again. "You have a great attitude. That's the most important thing, in this kind of a situation - keeping a great attitude."

I certainly hope that's true! There is definitely plenty of science to support the idea that a positive mental attitude has an impact on health outcomes. I think the effectiveness of modern chemotherapy drugs, and the extent to which my particular cancer responds to them, will have a significantly larger impact; and that moreover, it's probably prudent to remember that people with great attitudes die of cancer every day. But I will not turn my nose up at a percentage point or two perhaps coming from the willingness to crack jokes about all the cancer I've got, and how surprised I was to learn that I'd got it.

As I suggested up top, I know that when people say "you have a great attitude," they sometimes genuinely mean that they are pleased to find me in a mental state that might increase my chances of recovering from a deadly disease, but mostly they mean "thanks for not being a huge bummer about your cancer. I appreciate you for not ruining my day about it." And I'm completely okay with that. Like, yeah - I am deliberately sparing you from the burden of having to Take Seriously my life-threatening condition. You're welcome. I, too, would rather avoid this conversation on one of the finite number of Thursdays God has seen fit to grant unto the measure of our lives. What the fuck are you supposed to do about any of this?

(Shout out to my one good work buddy who, on hearing the news, instantly responded with "Oh my god, Geri Hallwell aka Ginger Spice also got breast cancer young! You're like twins!" Thus far he is the only person who has said something in response to the news that actually made an immediate, positive impact.)

So anyway, obviously all I ever say in response to "you have a great attitude" is "Thanks! I'm just focusing on the positives and taking it a day at a time." Because that's true, and moreover, it's all anyone needs to hear.

What I'd like to say - not to them, because there's no point in burdening them any further than the embarrassing reminder of death burdens anyone - but maybe to someone, maybe just to You, maybe that's why I'm writing this -

What I'd like to say is: dogg, you have no idea how subverted my expectations have been lately. How could I not find this funny?

How profoundly alienated from the absurdity of death would I have to be to not laugh about this?

Like - I know this is so stupid, but listen: I could die. No, no - listen - no I know everyone dies - but like - are you listening? Are you actually listening? I could die. I could die. I could die. I could die.

Isn't that so funny? Isn't that actually so funny?

And this - this attitude that I'm in, right now, this one right here, where shaking my head ruefully and marveling at the - maybe belated, but I think probably actually quite premature - realization that oh no, 'everyone dies' means for me too, huh - and laughing at myself for never, apparently, really grasping that until now, and laughing at the incredible statistical unlikelihood my cancer - I've never won anything before! - and laughing at how woefully ill-prepared most people are to respond to news like this, and laughing about how, of everything terrible about cancer, the actual number-two-on-the-list worst thing about it so far is that I can't put on deodorant -

Is this the great attitude you're talking about?

I'm not angry, I'm not resentful, I'm curious, I'm really curious. Do you understand why I'm laughing?

[melanieph321]

Kenan Yilidiz x Reader - Thick Part 5/8

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Kenan and Reader share the same high school friend group. As graduation is near, Reader sets out to pass her drivers license test but ultimately struggles to. Thankfully Readers friends agree to help her with driving lessons and take turns doing so. It is during one of Rader's lessons that it becomes clear that Kenan likes her. A chock to Reader, who has a crush on someone else in their friend group.

Enjoy!

"So, what's going on with you and Kenan?" Maria asked, on your weekly drive to school.

"Pardon?"

"Oh please, Y/N. Don't lie. We all know that the two of you are hooking up."

Your driving has improved. After two months of consistent driving lessons with your friends, you were finally getting a hang of the rhythm of traffic. Although, you had to admit that your progress all came down to one driver.

"What do you mean, who told you that?" You said, in a desperate attempt to maintain your honor.

"It's pretty obvious." Maria chuckled. "The two of you are always flirting across the table during lunch hour and the fact that Kenan drives you home everyday kind of gives it away, don't you think?"

"Okay, but what about you and Gio?" You blurred out, as immense heat burned your cheeks.

"What about us?" Maria laughed.

"Well, aren't you two hooking up?" 

"Yes, but the difference is that the two of us aren't trying to hide it from the world. Why would you? Kenan is a great guy and seems to like you a lot."

"I know." You sighed as if it were a bad thing. "It's just that I don't think we'd make a good couple. I need someone more intuned with life, someone intellectual and cool. Someone who thinks with his brain and not with his dick. Someone like...."

"Luca?"

You turned to Maria as the car pulled up to a stop sign. "How did you know?"

She grinned. "Again, you make it quite obvious."

"Oh. I guess I have to work on that."

"Yeah. Besides, isn't Luca dating that redhead from the record store downtown?"

"They're just hooking up." You said, having investigated the matter futher ever since you discovered their love dispute. It was therefore important for you not to get too attached to Kenan, that is, if Luca ever decided to come back to earth again and realize that the perfect girl for him was already right by his side.

"I dunno, they seem pretty serious. Luca even asked if she could come with us to Bari this summer."

"He what?"

"Crazy, I know. I said it was cool, but of course Rebecca had to go on about the seating in the car, how there wasn't room for more people in the one we have. It's funny really..."

"What is?"

"Well, it really depends on you if she comes with us or not. If you manage to pass your driver's test there'll be more seats." She laughed. However you didn't find it funny at all.

School that day went by in a flash. Apparently, Luca called in sick today so that he and his band could travel to Milano and meet with a record label. The thoughts of his "girlfriend" traveling with him angered you, completely ruining your day.

".....and then he shot the bear in the face which left his jaw hanging out from its head. It was the craziest shit I've ever seen."

Kenan drove you home again after school. He had Gio on speaker as the two of them wouldn't stop going on and on about a movie that they saw last night. 

"Thanks for the ride." You muttered, when his car pulled up to your house. 

"Y/N, wait!" You made it up the driveway when Kenan came running after you, carrying something in his hand. "I forgot to give you this." He handed you what looked to be a football jersey, a Juventus jersey to be exact.

"Erm....thank you?" You held up the shirt, regarding it skeptically. The number 15 was visible on the back of it. Along with Kenan's last name Yildiz.

"It's for the charity game tomorrow. I thought you'd want to wear it."

"Why would I want to do that?" You snorted but instantly regretted doing so, seeing how Kenan's expression faltered.

"I dunno?" He scratched the back of his head. "I guess it's a thing that players' girlfriends wear their jerseys. Who knows? it might bring me good luck."

"Kenan, it's a charity game." Which you now regretted going to. However, all of your friends were going, including Luca.

"I know." He chuckled. "But you should keep it, for future games."

You sighed. "I'm not your girlfriend Kenan, I thought we went over this?"

He looked like he wanted to protest. Poor thing. But just then the front door to your house came ajar, with your dad stepping out onto the porch. "Y/N, honey, is that you?"

You turned around, quite stunned to see him home this early in the day. "Dad? You're home."

"Yes, and so is your mother. We've been expecting your arrival. I was unaware that you were bringing along a friend." His eyes shot towards Kenan, who crumbled at the sight of your dad, a man three heads taller than himself. "Erm....Mr Y/L/N." He stuttered. At least he hadn't forgotten his manners.

"Yes, that's me." Your dad spoke in a voice intimidating for anyone who didn't know him.

"I was just dropping her off." Kenan turned to you, eyeing the jersey in your hands. "But I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you." 

You watched Kenan walk back to his car and drive off.

"Is he a friend of yours?" Your dad asked, shutting the door behind you.

"Yeah, something like that."

 *********************************

The next day, you waited until the last minute to decide whether you were going to the game or not. If you failed to show up, you'd be a shitty friend. But if you did show up, you were basically agreeing to be Kenan's girlfriend. Something that you weren't ready to do. At least not yet.

"I heard that Luca is bringing that girl who dresses like a homeless person." Rebecca said. She came over to your house, not minding if you chose to attend the game or not. She was good either way.

"I figured." You sighed. "They've been dating for a while."

Rebecca sat up in bed. She regarded you, lying on your back, eyes glued to the sealing. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, everyone knows that you like Luca."

"Not Kenan."

"Kenan?" She frowned.

You pushed up to rest on your elbows, nodding your head. "He asked me to be his girlfriend and that I'd go to the game wearing his jersey."

Rebecca covered her mouth with her hand, smothering her laughter.

"It's not funny."

"Y/N, what are you gonna do?"

"I don't know." You cried. "I really don't know."

"I say we go."

"Huh?"

Rebecca nodded her head. "Don't you see? Imagine if you turned up to the game wearing Kenan's Jersey. Who knows, Luca might get jealous?"

"You think so?"

"We won't know unless we go. Come on!"

It was stupid of Rebecca to let you practice your driving during a time like this. Your fingers drummed impatiently on the steering wheel. Apparently, the entire city had decided to hit the roads at the same time as you. You glanced at the watch on the dash, your anxiety growing with each passing minute. As you finally reached the stadium. The scoreboard read 2-0, and the crowd was already cheering. You missed the first half of the game.

"There's Gio and Maria!" Rebecca pointed out. And as you climbed up the stands to join them, their grins winded at the sight of you, wearing Kenan's jerseys.

"Whoever speaks loses their tongue." You said, to which Gio and Maria sealed their mouths with an ironic gesture. You then settled in to watch the second half, scanning the crowd, in search for.....

"Luca couldn't make it." Maria said. "His band was scheduled for a second meeting with the record label in Milano."

You turned to Rebecca.

"I swear I had no idea."

"For fucks sake." Why did you ever leave your house, you thought, on the verge of throwing a tantrum. But then a whistle blew and the players on the field started running across it again.

"There goes Kenan!" Gio said, cheering for his friend.

You scanned the field for Kenan's familiar number 15 jersey. You spotted him on the field, his face set in determination, eyeing his opponents. A fire lit within you, watching him. He looked so focused, so masculine. Like someone intellectual and cool. Someone intuned with life.

The game was over before you knew it, nevertheless, you hadn't paid attention to any of it. 

Kenan was seen jogging towards you, a mix of relief and excitement on his face. "You made it and you're wearing my jersey."

A flush of heat rose to your cheeks. "I....I guess I did, and I guess I am."

Kenan's expression softened, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you towards him. The last thing you heard before he kissed you was Gio and Maria's astonished gasps and Rebecca smothering her sounds of disgust. However, none of it mattered. The way he kissed you did. Kenan pressed his lips against you as if it was the first time. He was gentle yet eager, letting his tongue slip into your mouth. He kissed you to the sound of a crowd cheering him on. He kissed like you were the one, the only girl for him.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

[paper-mario-wiki]

you should have a special tag your all your art and your oc so its easier for people to find! maybe something like uhhhhhhhhh paper mouse??? or something like that sorry im crap at names lol, i just wanna be able to find your art and people's fan art of your oc easier!

i do have that! in fact i have been meticulously tagging all of my posts for over a decade so everything is easy as possible to find.

every audio post is tagged with "audio", every video with "video", every text post as "text", all the basics are covered of course, but i also want to sort by every majorly defining category.

the most basic example of this is my text posts tags: occurrence, random thought, question, talking to myself, with the additions of "anon" for anon questions and "ask" for non-anon. each have their own prerequisites because i like to be able to sort my stray ideas (random thought) from my journal entries (occurrence), while keeping both separate from direct community outreach (question) and the rare "i have to post 2 words that i cant get out of my head or else i'll go insane" (talking to myself).

for mashups (just tagged "mashup" of course), i'll tag both artists (here's every Will Smith audio post ive ever made), as well as the names of the songs (here's every Bonfire mashup i've ever made).

i also have a separate tag for any post that falls under a "high effort joke", basically meaning i edited something together in a program to create New Media, which is "shitpost". some mashups fall under shitpost, but not all.

okay so here's the part you specifically asked about:

for my characters, they all have individual tags.

the overarching tag on my blog for every artistic depiction of me in any form is "its me". this means ALL SONAS. any character that was made as an avatar of me is under this tag. though i also have individual tags for each of the individual characters, all falling under the "______ me" tree. for example, all pictures of Ambrosia are under the "mousey me" tag!

art is also separated by art BY me (my art) and art FOR me (thank you friend), though i'm not 100% certain ive been consistent with that specific one throughout the years, specifically because it was originally reserved exclusively for direct submissions and not reblogs.

outside of that, as far as people tagging my characters OUTSIDE of my blog, as long as someone @'s me i'll (probably) see their art, and it'll be reblogged and properly tagged!

thank u for your interest! 0:^]

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 3

Propaganda

Glenn Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

#Propaganda for Glenn Close: one of the other PCs mentions multiple times how hot he is #Actually several characters point it out but especially Henry #Also the only person in a podcast that has to put a disclaimer about not being a BDSM podcast to have had sex during the course of the show

PLEASASSWEEPLEASE TOU DONT HUNRERFSTABDS

GLENN GLENN GLENN ITS GLENN VOTE GLENN VOTE FOR THE BOY

We didn’t do hot Glenn summer for him to LOSE. Spoilers for his story but MORE PROPAGANDA FOR YOU:

Young hot rocker dilf

Loyal to his dead wife <3

Does in fact smoke weed

BARD!! HES A BARD. HE WAS LEAD GUITAR IN HIS BAND (that he was kicked out of)

His band was a Christmas cover band btw.

Literally the fandom had hot Glenn summer which consisted of drawing him being incredibly hot and sexy

Anti government (ofc)

Kind of cringefail (Disney adult) (was on dilfs of disneyland)

Young and sexy not your style? Then how about HIM AFTER YEARS LOCKED IN A TIME PRISON WITH A DAMN HANNIBAL MASK ??

Lost an eye and wears a fucking eyepatch

One incredibly buff arm

Has a pet rat named after his son <3

Immeasurable amounts of trauma in this man- becomes progressively more unhinged

OH OLD HUMAN BARD ISNT CUTTING IT? FINE

HE BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON

A COOL HOT ONE-EYED DEMON WHO WANTS TO KILL HIS DAD (also sexy)

HE CANONICALLY ENDS CHRISTIAN HELL VIA CHRISTMAS

IS ALSO WAY OVERLEVELED

Becomes a demon hunter for the rest of his existence

Also nonwhite !!! We are done with cringefail whiteboys !!!!!!!!!

I can’t put into words ok just know he is the best plz love him.

GLENN GLENNNNNN

Listen, I don't know this other character but I've seem some good arguments for her However Consider Glenn Close winning through no effort of his own in a bullshit way despite being a dick is the most in character thing ever. He leveled up three times and got a crab mech, we GOT to give him this win, it's fitting

I haven't dedicated the last 2 months of my life drawing Glenn close for him to lose

Vote for Glenn Close or I will make you read the parody I did of the vaporeon copypasta

I don’t regulate if minors follow me or not bc I’m a pretty chill space but I hope the world is aware that’s the only reason I haven’t been downright nasty about Glenn close. I’m down bad. I’m NOT in the boat of ‘Glenn isn’t sexy but I want him to win bc it’s my fandom’. I would estimate I have 200+ drawings of Glenn on my phone that AREN’T safe for work. Way more that are. Where did they come from? That’s MY business. But I tell you this fact to assure you- Glenn IS sexy. I’m not voting to represent my fandom I’m voting out of TRUTH AND LOVE. IF YOU DON’T GET IT YOU DON’T GET IT!!! I just think my level of feral over this man is more powerful than y’all realize. If you don’t get his sex appeal that’s okay, but don’t doubt that this is my truth.

VOTE GLENN

Glenn fuckers fought tooth and nail to get us here from like 38% dawg we DESERVE THIS. GLENN IS THE SEXIEST MAN!!! HE WAS THE FIRST FICTIONAL CHARACTER I FOUND HOT AND HE’S GONNA CONTINUE TO SWEEP!!! Your hot goat woman sounds sexy don’t get me wrong but I’m forever fighting for the man that changed my brain chemistry. Proud of our fandom tbh. I don’t think y’all understand the sheer amount of effort I have put in to get my boy where he is today but this placement feels well earned. TO GLENN SWEEP!!

THE FUCK YOU MEAN GLENN CLOSE ISNT WINNING IM BOUT TO THROW HANDS FR

Okay but Glenn made a minivan cum by talking to her so

Yalll better vote glenn i swear to god

Vote Glenn or else the bird gets it🐦🛸

HOW IS MY DUDE NOT WINNING????

GLEN GELN NELG GLENNANN HE DESERVS ITTTT

HE HAS A BOOK THAT HE MARKS X’S AND CHECKS FOR EVERY DAY TO SEE IF THAT DAY WAS A SUCCESS OR NOT. TO SEE IF HE DID GOOD THAT DAY. ITS ALMOST ENTIRELY X’S. HE WAS CUCKED OUT OF A SON. AND A DEAD WIFE. HE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO KILL HIS DAD IN REVENGE. There’s absolutely nothing going for him except his sex appeal in his life. Nobody he loved remembers him. He lost his eye. All he has is a pet rat and friends who admit they don’t really like him that much. He was kicked out of his own band. The band was named after him. He was kicked out of the Glenn Close trio. All he could do was deez nuts the big bad and be sexy. If nothing else, then pity him. Look in his eyes. Look at his heart and soul. Do you think pickman needs this to feel good about herself? Can she not accept a loss for the sake of a pathetic father? Can she shake hands with the minivan fucker and his human gun and just take the L on this one? He did not do the BDSM episode for this I’ll tell you what. Do this for my his sake. Do it for Nick Jr, who needs the prize money to pay for his rat snacks. Do it for his son. For Morgan. Ganbatte.

Mod Note: While I will still take "bad dads are sexy" propaganda and "bad dads aren't sexy" anti-propaganda, I kindly request no more discussion on whether or not he was a bad father. This is a sexypoll, not a parentingpoll. If you see a post you strongly disagree with, you can just not reblog it.

Taako (The Adventure Zone: Balance):

A celebrity chef from another plane

[cakerybakery]

This was supposed to be a quick thing. But it's spiralling and I want to see where it goes so I'll just post to the original ending because the farther it goes the more it's obvious I need to expand on the idea.

-

“Okay, I’m just really having trouble wrapping my head around this. Dad, tell me again. What happened?” Charlie paced back and forth in front of the parlour couch. Glancing nervously at the grown men on the couch.

Lucifer kept shooting Adam looks like this was somehow his fault.

There might be a giant list consisting of every sin Adam ever committed, but this time he was innocent.

“I was out on the terrace having my morning coffee when he showed up.”

“Adam right? Not the bird?” She emphasized bird as though she doubted it was in fact a bird at all.

“Yeah. So I tell him, “good morning” trying to be polite. Not that he ever appreciates it. And he says, “Fuck off.” But I keep my tempter in check.”

Adam snorted from his half lying down position on his part of the couch, “you almost fucking decked me.” Pushing Lucifer’s buttons had become Adam’s favourite game since figuring out Charlie accidentally had her dad on a short leash. Any sign that she would be upset with him meant he folded like a house of cards in a hurricane.

“ALMOST being the important part there. HA HA!” Lucifer’s fake laugh to try and steam roll past what Adam said always held a special place in Adam’s heart. It let him know he was successfully getting away with being an ass.

“And that’s when the, uhh bird, showed up?”

“Yes. The giant, terrifying, bird showed up then. Handed over a clipboard in its beak. Made us both sign and left, that, behind.”

Adam just plain didn’t like the tone Lucifer used. “She isn’t a that. She’s a baby.”

“Now, that’s the part I’m having trouble with. I thought that was a myth. Or a story parents tell their children to explain where babies come from. Storks bringing babies. Insane. And I would one hundred percent think you two were lying except I can’t figure out why you would or where you got a freaking baby from. Especially one that is clearly half dad’s!” She was hyperventilating a little and Lucifer went to stroke her back to try and help her calm down.

“I hope you’re got my chill side instead of your dad’s- your other dad’s… excitability.” Adam stage whispered to the little cutie lying on his chest.

-

Adam is pretty happy, he loves babies! It's in his DNA. But he should have read the paperwork before he signed it, cause now he's acting odd. Lucifer is not happy, he tried to read the paperwork but the stork kept hitting him with the clipboard, he'll realize once he reads it why Adam's behaviour is about to be much more erratic instead of annoying. Charlie is just confused by the whole thing.

[digital-chess]

So ragatha. What is your honest opinion on Kinger, Queenie, Pomni and the other black and white pieces?

Ragatha: Er... my uh, "opinion" on everyone? Hoo-boy! That's a loaded question, haha- Alright. Let me think... B-BUT DON'T TELL THE OTHERS I TOLD YOU THIS! Okay, White Team: Jax? Ugh. He's a jerk. Always locking himself in his Bowling Alley, painting my face on bowling pins to blow up when I annoy him, heck- he does that with EVERYONE who annoys him. He's sarcastic, dry, often cruel in his remarks, and the fact he's Kinger and Queenies "Golden Child" is crazy. He's not a bad person... but he's adamant on making me think he is one... and I still don't know why. Zooble? They're a good friend and roommate. They used to live in the Tetris game, able to make a world of their own with the hundreds of block shapes. Kind of like Legos! I remember visiting their room and seeing the world they were able to build with their expertise for turning abstract shapes into art. But then they refused to go to one of the Chess rounds one week... and Kinger punished Zooble by collapsing and destroying their world. They managed to evacuate before the application deleted, and they've been...well, living here with me at Purble Palace ever since! We get along surprisingly well. Gangle? She's so sweet and kind. I don't know what Queenie keeps blabbing on about. She's adamant that Gangle's this... callous manipulative string-puller on Black Team? That somehow Gangle is this dual-faced crocodile-teared attention seeker. She's so sweet. She's gentle, kind, soft-spoken. Black Team bullied her relentlessly and Max would threaten to hurt her if she didn't do what he said. Queenie can't understand. Abuse takes time to recover from. So I'm going to be here for her... I know what it like to feel like nothing. ...I don't want anyone to feel like that. Caine? He's been here the longest. He's my oldest friend besides... Kaufmo. He inspires us when the team has no hope, and can bring everyone together with his speeches and strategies to make us feel like there's still a chance we can win. Sometimes Queenie mocks him, saying he'd be a better fit on Black Team because of his history, but is only with us because its "his punishment". ...I don't think he deserves to be treated the way he is. He doesn't hold himself together as easily anymore. ...Sometimes I catch him mumbling nonsense to his bubble wand, as if it was alive. ...I don't know how much longer he can take Kinger's torment. I'm worried about him. Pomni? I don't know much about her yet... and I'm still struggling to decide if i even want to... And Kaufmo...? ...he was the one person in this entire world of Kinger's who deserved to be free. To get his life back. To leave this game. ...To be happy. ...I just hope he's somewhere better now. Somewhere better than here.

Aaaaaand as for Black Team? How should I know. They're all murderers, psychopaths and thieves. I sometimes would catch that Bishop of theirs sitting on the chessboard afterhours with Kaufmo. He was probably trying to manipulate our friend or... cast a spell to force Kaufmo to betray us or something! I don't know why else he'd have been so consistent to meet Kaufmo there when rounds weren't active.

[so-so-woso]

i wanna be the one | part 2

Summary: First game as part of the team, first big night out as part of the team, more flirting. Honestly, it's mostly just flirting.

Also as a general note, the timeline, games, and team composition are all kind of all over the place because while I might be crazy I’m not going to do actual research for this lmao also please don't expect any sort of consistent word count with these, I'm not good at being consistent with anything. Part 3 will be time-jumpy and will probably be up sooner rather than later, fingers crossed.

Word Count: 2,457

The next few days were awkward, for you anyway. No one else seemed to notice, and Leah was as indifferent as usual. You had tried to approach her and apologize once, but she grabbed Beth and hurried out of the locker room as soon as you stood up. You tried to convince yourself it was a coincidence, but you knew it wasn’t. You didn’t think anything was all that bad and really just wanted to clear the air about it and move on, but it didn’t feel like Leah was going to let you do that. So, you guessed, the next best thing to do was just forget that it happened, which you both really did and really didn’t want to do. It helped you had a game to look forward to, despite not playing in it. Still, it was exciting, your first game as part of the team, and against Tottenham. The Spurs managed to score on a late penalty, but you still won 2-1. The atmosphere was truly wild, and more than you had expected – more than you could’ve hoped for – in the best possible way. Er, mostly, anyway.

You always had a hard time accepting when good things happened to you, or when you did well at something. You could talk yourself up in a joking way, playing every bit the cocky athlete, like the opposite of self-deprecating – but it was always as a joke. Being serious about your achievements had always been near impossible. You knew why it was hard for you, but it wasn’t something you liked explaining to other people, so you mostly just pretended everything was fine and that you were as chill and haughty as you so often pretended to be. That didn’t mean you weren’t terrified all the time, though, and it definitely didn’t mean that Doubt wasn’t constantly hovering just out of reach, waiting to swoop down and take you into its talons the instant you felt comfortable. It just meant that you were used to it.

It hit you pretty early, in the 20th minute or so. You were just sitting on the sideline, watching the game, listening to the roar of the crowd – and then all of a sudden you couldn’t hear the cheering anymore, just the rushing of your own blood in your ears. You had shifted in your seat and tried to hide the fact that you weren’t looking at the field anymore. You had wanted to close your eyes, but that would be obvious – not to mention rude – so instead you tried to shift focus on to the back of the seat in front of you. If it was already starting with you riding the bench, you really didn’t want to think about what would happen if you ever managed to get any minutes. You handled it okay, though, and managed until half time when you could go into the locker room and splash water on your face. That helped, as did the distractions of being around the rest of the team and Jonas’ half time speech. The last 45 minutes passed pretty quickly, at least for you, and before you knew it you were back in the locker room, celebrating the win.

Since you hadn’t played, you didn’t have much to do in terms of getting ready to leave after the game. You thought you’d be able to sneak out pretty quick, but several of the girls had very quickly agreed on another night out and you were invited. You could’ve said no, and on one hand you wanted to – but on the other hand, you were still new enough it didn’t feel like a great move to turn down any chances at bonding with the team, so you agreed to meet them later. Part of you knew it would be a good idea, too, because even though as soon as you got home you would want to just go to sleep, but if you told someone you were going to do something then you were going to do it, and agreeing to hang out would keep you from spending the evening wallowing. Your primal urge to be seen as dependable often greatly outweighed any anxiety or despair you felt and had frequently kept you afloat in the past, seemingly set to do so again now.

Planning to head home and change before you met back up with the girls, you pulled out your phone to order an Uber as you exited the locker room. Your head was down as you turned out of the door, a classic bad move that you paid for very quickly as you bumped into a person heading back inside. You immediately apologized, but cut yourself off when you realized it was Leah. She stopped short as well, staring up at you for a long moment. You wanted to apologize again, but found it suddenly hard to form the words you wanted, so you stuttered a bit before she spoke first.

“I’m sorry.”

You shook your head. “No, no, I wasn’t paying attention, it was totally my fault.”

“Not that. The other night. I…made it weird. I do that sometimes. I’m sorry.”

“Oh! No, that was total—”

“I don’t date teammates.”

“—ly my fault—sorry, what?”

She sighed and rubbed at her chin, glancing over her shoulder to see if anyone was around.

“I don’t date teammates,” she repeated. You paused and drew in a slow breath, making sure you heard her correctly.

“Oh…kay. I don’t…remember asking you out, but—”

“No, I know, but you were flirting. And I just didn’t want to, like—”

She was interrupted by a pair of your teammates exiting the room behind you. They acknowledged both you and Leah, but didn’t seem to notice or at least didn’t ask about the confused look that was surely on your face. Leah, taking the interruption for the distraction that it was, mumbled a ‘yeah’ and tried to slip past you back into the locker room, but you managed to catch her by the elbow. She sighed at being caught and stepped back from the doorway.

“You end a lot of conversations by just walking away, don’t you?”

She rolled her eyes at your observation, but you continued before she could retort.

“It’s okay. The dating thing, not the walking away thing – that you should definitely work on. But as far as who you date, that’s like…your business. I mean, it like really sucks for me, I guess, but—”

“Hm, assuming I’d be interested in you.”

You barely bit back a snort at her interruption.

“Wow, okay, didn’t have to come at me like that,” you said, putting on a faux exasperated voice and gesturing with the phone in your hand. She exhaled a soft laugh and gave a small shrug, “sorry.”

“No, for real, that’s…I mean…I just hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable? With the flirting?”

“No, it’s okay.”

“Okay. Well, if you want me to stop, then…just let me know.”

“…okay.”

“Cool,” you nodded, fingers fiddling with the cross-strap of your bag as you felt a couple more of your teammates exit from the door behind you. They too acknowledged both you and Leah as they passed, and you both said bye to them, with you now deciding to take the opportunity to follow them out.

“Well, good talk, Williamson, definitely not awkward at all,” you said over your shoulder as spun around and moved quickly to catch up with Kim and Lia – but you didn’t move quite quickly enough to miss another soft laugh escaping from the blonde behind you, nor the warm flutter that bubbled up in your chest at hearing it.

Yeah, this wasn’t going to be awkward at all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You spent most of the evening dancing and drinking with your new teammates, and some randos from the club you were at. You had the next week off, so Kim’s ‘two drinks max’ rule had been thrown so far out the window it probably hit a bird. It didn’t take very long at all to find out why she had the rule, either. Most of the instigation seemed to be stemming from McCabe. You kind of hated that it was such a stereotype, but damned if it didn’t seem to be true. She kept trying to hand you shots and make you dance with Foord, which you thought was weird because you were under the impression they were together, but maybe they weren’t, or maybe this was part of their whole thing, you really had no idea, so you just went with it. Of course you danced with Steph, too, and Alessia, and pretty much everyone else who seemed to want to.

There was one girl from the club who kept coming back to you, and the shots Katie kept handing you pretty much meant you were going to keep dancing with her. She was pretty, you thought, but drunk. But you guessed you were pretty and drunk too, so maybe it was okay. She was really touchy, though, which you didn’t love, and once she asked you to meet her in the bathroom you excused yourself pretty quickly. That was not the vibe you were aiming for tonight.

You left her on the dance floor and made your way to the bar to get a water, which you were quietly sipping when Leah slid up next to you. “You move on quick,” she said with a smirk, tossing a glance in the direction of the dance floor, before turning back to the bar and waving at the bartender. You followed her glance back towards the girl you’d been dancing with while she ordered another drink for herself. You opened your mouth to riposte, but instead just shook your head and took another gulp of water.

“Jesus,” you finally said, “I should’ve stuck with Kim’s rule.”

Leah laughed. “Yeah, you gotta learn not to let McCabe play you so easily.”

“What?”

“She does this to all the newbies. I mean she can handle it, and everybody else knows better, but you newbies – easy prey.”

“Ugh, god.”

“Yeah, I know.”

She laughed again, and you heaved a sigh as you took another long drink, turning to the side and looking back across the club at the rest of your teammates. Your eyes landed on Katie McCabe, who was finally dancing with Foord herself now, and you made a mental note that you were definitely going to get her back somehow. You watched them for a second before turning back towards Leah, who was sipping at her own drink now. This was the first time you really looked at her tonight, and what she was wearing. It wasn’t really terribly revealing or anything, but she was wearing a skirt, which was incredibly rude of her to do.

You weren’t sure how long you were staring at her thighs, but it was definitely way longer than was appropriate. When you finally looked up again, she was smirking at you, and you couldn’t even pretend to hide the giant grin that spread across your face, or the redness that was surely growing across your cheeks.

“Sorry,” you laughed, rubbing at your own face. “That was like incredibly obvious, huh.”

“Yeah, a little bit,” she laughed back.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay, you’re drunk. And I know you like my legs.”

“And still you use them against me like that. You and McCabe, man – I gotta get out of here before one of you kills me.”

You downed the rest of your water and signaled for the bartender to settle up. Leah stayed quietly next to you the whole time, and while she had turned her body away to look back into the crowd, there were definitely a few times you felt her eyes back on you.

“You wanna go?” The words left your mouth unbidden as you slid your wallet back into your pocket. Your head was swimming, but you felt like it was more the blonde’s doing than the alcohol’s – although, if anyone asked, you were definitely blaming the alcohol. When you looked back at her, her head was cocked to the side and she was giving you a look that said we talked about this.

“I don’t mean like—I’m just trying to get to know you. I don’t really know you. I mean, Youtube does keep recommending videos of you to me but they’re all from like seven years ago—”

“Oh god, don’t watch any of those. Wait, if it’s recommending them, that means you’ve watched videos of me on Youtube.”

“Hmm? No. No, definitely not – I don’t think that’s how that works at all, actually.”

“Oh, okay, yeah, my mistake then.”

She laughed at you again, and you maybe fell just a little bit in love as you started stumbling backwards. You bumped into someone, so you turned and apologized, but they just moved away, so you turned back towards Leah.

“And you’re like super sure you don’t want to go on a date with me?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Just checking. I can wait.”

“You can wait?”

“Yeah, 'cause I’m warning you, Williamson, one of these days—" You wagged a finger at her, as you took another step backwards, but thought better than to end that sentence so instead you just turned and walked away, the alcohol and conversation both threatening you far too much to stay any longer.

You took an Uber back to your flat and practically threw yourself into the shower. You needed to calm down, in several ways, so you made sure the water was as cool as you could really stand and then just sort of stood there for several minutes, letting it rain over you.

You honestly started trying to think about ways you could mess with Katie, but you would be a complete idiot if you really believed anyone but Leah could keep hold of your thoughts for more than about fifteen seconds. But you really did try to think about something else. Well, you guessed, you didn’t really try very hard.

She didn’t date teammates, and that was fine. Boundaries are good to have, and you didn’t want to overstep. But she also didn’t tell you to stop flirting with her. She also didn’t seem to mind you flirting with her, and also seemed to flirt back with you. That was confusing. But you liked it. Like a lot. Like you wanted to do it all the time. Which, honestly, you kind of were doing all the time, any time you talked to her . And you liked it, and she seemed to like it, but she wasn’t going to date you. Which was fine. Really. It was. Totally fine.

Totally.