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crystalninjaphoenix · 3 years ago

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Kindness & Kidnapping

A JSE Fanfic

I’ve written something that’s less than 6000 words for the first time in a year, whoo! I was planning to include more plot but after a while I realized there was too much to put into one chapter so I broke it into two. And now, this chapter is short, but it has some important and...interesting developments. Let’s just say, Anti makes his move. I don’t know what to say beyond that, so just read on ;)

You can find the other stories under the pw timeline tag!

It was a bright morning outside, but Chase didn’t know that. He was inside, sitting at a hastily-done computer setup inside his closet. It was cramped and dark and honestly kind of dusty. But he hadn’t wanted to keep this setup out in the open. Because this was the computer he’d been using to access Anti’s website, and if he kept it out in any other room of the house, he knew he’d keep glancing towards the windows and doors, waiting for something to happen.

Though...nothing had happened in the past week or so since he’d first found the website. He’d told the police about it, contacting that detective, Nix, who was in charge of the search for Jackie and JJ. Nix had been really appreciative, saying that this was a helpful clue and the police would be right on it, but he’d warned Chase to not go looking at any websites like this again. “These are dangerous,” he’d said. “And many of them use trackers to gather information or worse.”

Yet here he was. First thing in the morning. Staring at a creepy hitman website while sitting in his closet.

Part of his mind was yelling at him to stop. That even though he’d waited a few days before accessing the site again, that didn’t mean anything. This was dangerous. But...he couldn’t help it. This was the first time he felt like he was doing something, like he was actually helping the search for his friends. So, he stayed there.

His study of the website mostly consisted of scrolling through the anonymous reviews and trying to find ways to look at the source code. Chase...wasn’t that good with computers. Despite the fact that recording videos and putting them on the Internet was his job. He’d basically absorbed all his knowledge from Jack and his editor and only knew how to do things like editing because of that. Anything beyond what was required for YouTube was a mystery to him. But he was trying.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, and he gasped, then felt silly. It was just a text notification. Sighing at his own jumpiness, he took out his phone and looked at the message on the screen. It was from Marvin. Hey do you know any quick ways to get food? Other than ordering.

Oh? Chase responded. Are you out of bed this early? Thats a 1st. And he didn’t just mean because Marvin was having trouble getting out of bed recently. Marvin never woke up before ten, even before JJ disappeared, so this was strange.

Luna was yelling at me because i forgot to fill her bowl last night and i couldnt deal with it anymore so i got up and thought i might as well get breakfast.

Thats great bro. As for food I bought you some microwave mac n cheese and noodles.

Marvin instantly replied, I’m not eating fucking noodles for breakfast. That’s weird.

Chase laughed a bit. Sorry, Marv. I know your sense of order is a big thing for you, but sometimes you need exceptions.

This time, the reply was slow. The typing bubbles appeared and disappeared a couple times before finally: i just cant. maybe another time.

Ah. Of course, even if he was out of bed, Marvin was still struggling. Chase thought for a moment, then said, Alright, Marvin. No problem. How bout toast and butter? It takes five to ten minutes depending on how much you want it burnt. That was a frequent go-to for him. I know u have bread and butter, too.

Alright. Thanks.

No problem. Chase paused, then added, Hey I was gonna go visit Jack again later today. Do u think youd be up for coming with?

Another long pause. I dunno. Ask me again when it’s closer to time.

Got it. And with that, Chase set his phone down and returned his attention to the website.

About an hour later, he gave up. He couldn’t find any clues at all, and reading this was really starting to get to him. Carefully standing up, so as to not knock over the computer setup in the tiny closet, he turned off the monitor and CPU, then edged around to the closet door. He hesitated, feeling uneasy anxiety rolling in his stomach, then slowly opened the door.

Nobody was outside. Well, of course not. He took a deep breath, and stepped out into the hallway. It was time to get ready for the day.

But still, that anxiety followed him. And he couldn’t help but remember the notice that Anti had put at the top of the website. Something about business being closed until something was “taken care of.” That just...sounded very bad. And Chase couldn’t help but think about what might be happening to Jameson and Jackie.

——————

Nearly a month had passed since Anti had taken JJ. For nearly a month, Jameson had been stuck in this room with Jackie. And with no means of escape that he could see. He’d looked, of course. But even with Jackie’s help, they couldn’t find a way out of the room. The closest thing he could think of was somehow unscrewing the door hinges, and he’d actually spent about a week trying to do that, but without any tools, there was no way those hinges would budge.

The only opportunity that he could see was when Anti visited, which he did often. But even that would be difficult to pull off. Jameson and Jackie might have numbers on their side, but Jackie was pretty weak after almost a year of captivity, and JJ had never been that athletic. Still, he was starting to consider it. Maybe Anti wouldn’t be expecting it, if he could just convince Jackie that they could do it, and if they could find an opportunity...

But even if they were going to try, today would not be the day. Anti had come into the room for one of his visits, which were becoming worryingly frequent, and Jackie had decided to hide in the attached bathroom. Jameson refused to look at Anti, in the vain hope that he’d go away if he didn’t engage.

“Jamie.” Anti pulled a chair away from the table, and then indicated the one across from him. “Come s...sit down.”

Jameson shook his head. He folded his arms, and stayed where he was, standing next to the bunk bed.

Anti stared at him for a while, then sat down. It didn’t ease the tension at all. For some reason, Jameson still felt like he was looming over him. “Alright. F-fine.” He paused. Waiting. Watching him with his mismatched eyes. Today, the fake one was brown, not green. Odd, but it didn’t lessen the intensity of his gaze.

After a few silent moments, Jameson couldn’t take it anymore. He slowly walked over to the table and sat down. God damn it. Why was just the silence enough to get him to respond?

“Ah, there we are.” Anti smiled. “About time. You’re always so...so tense, Jamie, when you really shouldn’t be. I won’t h-hurt you.”

What do you want this time? Jameson signed stiffly.

“Why do you keep asking that? I don’t want...anything, I just want to...talk.” Anti leaned back in the chair. “I don’t understand th-this. You’re so...different. And I’m trying, you know. Know. You know—I know, by now, that this wasn’t the best starting point. But I’m trying to...to get everything back to the way it was. You want that, don’t you?” His voice was soft, like he was talking to an easily startled animal. Or a child.

No, I don’t. Jameson said firmly. I don’t want everything to go back to how it was, because back then, you were making me help you throw bodies in the river.

“That was a mistake, okay? Oka-ay?” Anti sighed. “I shouldn’t...should never have gotten you involved in all this. So, I’m not going to, ever again.”

Jameson laughed. You’re a bit late for that! Maybe you should’ve thought of that before you kidnapped me!

“That was another mistake, and I’m sorry that you f-f-feel I was out of line. I can see what you...what you mean. But you’d never talk to me otherwise, let alone go anywhere with me.” Anti’s fingers tapped an irregular rhythm on the table. “But I can pr-promise you, no more dead bodies. Ever. Ever again. You’ll be safe.”

He sounded genuine, and JJ had to admit that at least there was still a part of him that cared about—no! Jameson stiffened and pushed away that softening feeling. It didn’t change any of this. Anti still abducted him, and he was willing to bet that ‘safe’ to Anti wasn’t the same as ‘safe’ to him. It would be more of this, most likely. Trapped inside, unable to go anywhere, always under Anti’s watchful eye. Why was he even continuing this conversation? Jameson balled up his hands and shoved them under his arms, physically preventing him from saying anything more.

Anti’s expression shifted slightly. “You’re being so difficult, my god. We’ve been doing this for a-a-a month and gotten nowhere. If you would just li-listen, we could go—past—move past this.” The tapping rhythm increased slightly, nails on wood. “But alright—okay. Fine. Yes. I-I-I have a pro—” And then the tapping stopped. Anti’s eyes suddenly widened. “Oh. That’s it.”

Jameson leaned back a bit, waiting for something. Those last words sounded like a threat. But—

Out of nowhere, Anti slumped forward onto the table. JJ gasped and stood up. In an instant, he was moving automatically, rolling Anti’s head to the side and looking for anything dangerous nearby. There was nothing. Could he breathe? Was this a good position, or should he move him? He should’ve recognized it, Anti was having difficulty with his words, he knew that was a sign—Wait, the watch. The watch he was wearing around his neck, the chain it was on had tightened a bit. JJ grabbed the chain and adjusted it so it was more loose.

A few seconds later, Anti gasped, and pushed JJ away. He stepped back.

“I...fuck.” Anti blinked, eyes glancing around the room. For a moment, he was confused. JJ could see the recognition slowly fade back into his expression. “Thwshnnbad.”

JJ watched anxiously. For a moment, he glanced over towards the door. But...he just couldn’t. Not now. Maybe he was too nice, but it just felt cruel to try and leave after that.

Anti took a few deep breaths, then looked over at JJ. “You helped.”

Jameson hesitated, then nodded.

“Hmm.” Anti didn’t say anything, but there was a look on his face that made Jameson squirm a bit. Almost smug. Almost. There was a fair share of gratitude that prevented it from being fully self-satisfied. Anti reached for his pocket, and after a few tries, pulled out his phone. “That was...not that long?”

Just a few seconds. Maybe fifteen or so, JJ said. No twitching or jerking.

Nodding, Anti tapped on his phone for a bit. “It’s...been a while,” he said quietly. “They’re not that bad anymore, you know.”

Unsure what to say, Jameson just nodded again.

A few moments later, Anti took a deep breath, and returned his phone to his pocket. “Anyway. As...I was saying. I have a proposal.”

Immediately, all Jameson’s sympathy was gone, replaced by cold fear. What is it? he asked warily.

Anti didn’t answer for a bit. Instead, he reached inside his jacket, and pulled out a small keycard. “Do you know what this is?”

A card? Like...for a hotel?

“No, not for a hotel.” Anti smiled a bit. “Though I guess...it’s sort of like it.” His eyes darted towards the bathroom door, slightly ajar. “He’s been telling you about what happened. With him and the doctor.” It wasn’t a question. So Jameson didn’t answer. But he didn’t have to. “Did you ever meet that doctor?”

Jameson started to shake his head, then reconsidered. Once, he said. He thought I was you.

“We do look similar. Even more so than all these...these doppelgangers do to each other.” Anti tried to twirl the keycard around his fingers, but failed. It fell to the table, and he quickly picked it up again. “So, you only met him once. Hmm...I expected you to interact with him more. You’re part of this...this friend group now. I thought, surely, they’d introduce you to each other. Well, I guess they tried. I’m assuming it didn’t go well.” He paused. “But still. You’re a good person, Jamie.”

What are you saying? Jameson almost didn’t want to ask.

“You wouldn’t want anything to happen to him, right?”

Anti fell silent, but Jameson didn’t dare to answer. He couldn’t.

“This keycard happens to give me...access to the hospital where he’s staying,” Anti continued. “I’ve already been there. I know how to get him out.”

Don’t hurt him, Jameson said, all color gone from his face. Please.

“That depends on you. Well, and our friend in there.” Anti indicated the bathroom door again. “Originally, I was going to use him, but then I thought, that didn’t stop that doctor woman from leaving. But he might try to leave himself, especially with the two of you...here. Together. So I thought I’d use something that’ll affect both of you.”

He hasn’t done anything to you. Leave him alone.

“That doesn’t mean he’ll never do anything,” Anti suddenly snapped. “The cops know I exist now. It’s only a matter of time before they start to ask him questions.” The anger drained away. Now his face was still, unreadable. “Besides, that didn’t stop me before.”

Why did you even take him in the first place? Jameson asked. Why? It wasn't for your...work. All of this could’ve been avoided.

“I was...curious. He thought I was his friend Jack, you know. When I ran into him that night. And I thought to myself, this man is clearly delusional. But I figured it would be easier to play along. After he realized what happened, he explained his whole condition to me, and I wondered. I wondered how I could use that.” Anti’s smile was sharp. “It’s not every day an opportunity like that runs into you on the street.”

Jameson backed away, horrified. Too late, Anti noticed his reaction. And for a moment, he looked hurt. Then angry. Sad. And finally, determined. “Think about what I said.” He stood up, and headed towards the door. For a moment, Jameson considered following him. But he hesitated for a second too long, and Anti was gone, the door locked behind him.

The room was silent. Jameson stood there for what felt like forever. Then he moved, walking towards the bathroom. He slowly pushed open the door, peering inside. “Hmm?” he hummed.

“Down here.” Jackie was sitting on the tile floor, up against the shower in the corner of the room. The bathroom was sparse and small, containing only the necessities of a toilet, sink, and shower, along with a bonus medicine cabinet that was empty. There was nowhere to sit except the floor.

JJ stepped inside. Did you hear all of that?

Jackie nodded silently. His hands were covering his head, fingers digging into his scalp. Tears threatened to spill out of his eyes, and judging by the tracks, a few already had. “H-he can’t—Schneep is going to—he won’t be able to—”

It’s going to be fine, JJ said, kneeling next to him. We won’t let anything happen to him.

“The—the only way to make sure of that is—but you can’t—you could get away if you—but not if he’s—”

It’s going to be fine, Jameson repeated uncertainly. I’ll make sure that it’ll work out. Maybe I can get Anti to listen to me. We can find a way. The police would notice Henrik disappearing, they’ll find us.

Jackie choked on a sob. He pulled his knees up to his chest and folded his arms on top of them. “They haven’t,” he said quietly. “They’re...not going to.” And he buried his face in his arms, shoulders shaking.

Jameson didn’t have anything to say to that. All he could do was stay close, and hold Jackie tight as he cried.

——————

It was a lovely day outside. For late-November-near-December, that is. Though the sun shone bright in a cloudless sky, there was still a chill to the air that forced people to wear jackets, or even coats. But Schneep didn’t mind. He hadn’t been outside in so long that anything would feel refreshing.

Silver Hills had itself a back garden where some patients could spend time. It was fenced in, for safety, but it was still quite large. Dr. Laurens had told him the news at the end of yesterday’s session: she’d gotten approval for some supervised time outside. Schneep had been hesitant at first. Some of his old paranoia and fear resurfacing. When he’d been with Anti, he hadn’t been allowed out without permission. And even when he had permission, Anti always found a way to keep an eye on him, either via cameras and GPS or by accompanying him himself. What if—what if this was another trick? A test? And if he failed the test—

No, of course not. Everything was alright here. There were other patients out and about, going on walks along the paths and stopping to look at flowers nearby. Schneep watched them from where he was sitting on one of the garden’s benches. He twirled his medical bracelet around his wrist. They’d also finally decided that he could wear clothes—besides the standard issue white shirt and pants—again. As long as they didn’t have any hard fastenings or dangly bits like strings, but that was understandable. So now the bracelet was the only sign that he was a patient here. Which was the same as everyone else. That...helped, actually. Somehow.

“Schneep? Is everything alright?”

“Hmm?” Schneep blinked, realizing he’d been gone for a while there. Oliver was nearby, as always. In this case, sitting at another bench nearby, far enough away to give Schneep his own space but close enough in case of an emergency. “Yes, I am fine. It is just a bit chilly.”

“Well...you’re not wrong there,” Oliver muttered. The orderly uniform was short-sleeved, and evidently, they weren’t allowed to wear anything over it. His arms were covered in raised goosebumps. “Anything else?”

“No, I was just thinking.” Schneep looked down at his lap. Laurens had given him one of her notebooks and a box of markers. He’d said that he wanted to try drawing, like they’d done in one of their sessions, and she’d been encouraging. So now he was trying to draw the gardens. It was hard. He wasn’t particularly artistic, and he was pretty sure a twelve-year-old could do better than him. But it was...nice. Focusing. Grounding.

Oliver nodded, and went silent. Schneep returned to his paper. The markers were a bit annoying, since they couldn’t be erased. But it was fine. He worked around the mistakes.

Quite a bit of time passed before he was ready to go inside. A few clouds had appeared in the clear sky. Schneep stood up, closing the notebook. Oliver looked over at him again. “Ready to go?”

“Yes, I’m going back to my room.”

“Alright, then.” Oliver stood up as well. “Let’s go.”

They made their way inside, winding through the halls and then up the stairs. It was so good to have his old room back, from before that tiny, featureless room on the first floor. Apparently those rooms weren’t supposed to be lived in for that long, a fact that the lovely Dr. Newson had neglected to mention. But that was in the past. Now he had a window! And some battery-powered lamps, and a bathroom joined to the room, and more furniture than a bed and a single table. It was amazing.

“Alright, here we are.” They stopped outside Room 309 and Oliver unlocked it with a swipe of the key card. It was only ever unlocked when nobody was inside; another difference between this one and the tiny first-floor room. “You remember to push the button if you need anything?”

“Yes, yes.” There was a call button on the wall inside. Pressing it would bring an orderly to the room, hopefully within minutes. “I remember.”

“Great. I’ll be around.”

“Thank you.” Schneep opened the door, adjusting his grip on the notebook and box of markers before heading inside. “I will be seeing you, then.”

Oliver smiled a bit. “Of course. See you.” He waved a bit, then walked off, disappearing down the hallway. Schneep waved after him, pulling the room door closed shortly before he started to turn the corner.

By now, it was solidly in the afternoon, and the sun was shining its beams directly into the window. Schneep blinked in the sudden brightness, then once his eyes adjusted, he walked over to the table and put down the notebook and markers. He opened up to the page with the garden drawing and considered it. Not bad, really. For someone who wasn’t an artist. Jackie and Marvin would’ve done much better. Maybe they could have given him advice, if they were here.

It would be some time before dinner. A little over an hour, judging by the numbers on the digital clock on the table. In the meantime, he could get some reading done. The room had a shelf, and Laurens had been providing him with some books for it. He was just barely starting a new novel, but it had already sucked him in. Yes, that was a good idea. Get through a few chapters of that.

Schneep headed over to the shelf, running his fingers over the spines of the books until he reached the one he was looking for. He was just about to pull it off the shelf when there was a movement in his peripheral vision.

He stiffened instinctually. Even though he’d been seeing strange movement in his vision for years now, he’d only been uneasy about it ever since his time with Anti. But he wasn’t supposed to acknowledge it. It was better that way. Just ignore it, just ignore it, just ignore—

There were footsteps behind him. And he couldn’t help but turn around. The first thing he saw as he turned was the door to the adjoining bathroom. It was open. Hadn’t he left it closed? Could he have not closed it all the way? Then some sort of shift in the air could’ve opened it, causing the movement he saw?

No, that theory was disproved when he saw the second thing of note in the room: a man. Who hadn’t been there before. He was wearing the orderly uniform, but Schneep didn’t recognize him.

No.

No, he did recognize him.

His eyes were a different color, and his face wasn’t scarred, but there could be no mistaking him. Anti.

Schneep froze. No. No, it wasn’t real. He was just hallucinating. He’d done the same a few days ago, thought he’d seen Anti in the rec room. That couldn’t have been real. So this couldn’t be real. So it wasn’t. If he just ignored the hallucination, it couldn’t do anything to him. Slowly, he turned back around. He reached with trembling hands to take the book off the shelf.

More footstep sounds. He saw in the corner of his vision the image of Anti again. Anti was circling around him to his left, staring, watching, staring, watching—why is everyone always watching him?!—No, no, don’t let it get to him. It wasn’t real. He pulled the book off the shelf, and knocked down its two neighbors in the process, grabbing those as they fell. It was fine. Everything was fine.

He took a few deep breaths and turned away, taking the three books to an armchair near the window of the room. The image of Anti watched him, watched him with interest, curiosity. He always did that. He’d done it in the beginning, when he’d trapped Schneep in that house with him, always curious about how far he could push his limits.

“Es ist nicht real,” Schneep said to himself. Just a reminder. It couldn’t be real. How’d he get into the room? The front door hadn’t opened, and it was impossible for him to be inside beforehand. The room had been locked. Nobody could get in without unlocking it with a keycard. “Es ist nicht real. Es ist nicht real.” It was impossible.

Footstep sounds. Schneep could see the image of Anti approaching out of the corner of his vision. He didn’t turn his head, and focused on stacking the three books on the window sill. “Es ist nicht real, ist nicht real, ist nicht real, nicht real, nicht real,” he continued to whisper under his breath. “Nicht real, nicht real, nicht real.”

The image reached out and—

It grabbed his arm.

He felt a sharp pain.

Panic flooded his system. Schneep screamed and spun around, picking up one of the books and throwing it at the man. The book connected solidly, hitting with enough force to snap the man’s head back and cause him to let go. He yelled out in pain.

No, someone was here. It wasn’t a hallucination. Someone was here and they weren’t supposed to be. Schneep ran across the room, heading for the door.

“You—!” The man recovered quickly, and ran to the door as well. He was faster, and Schneep skidded to a halt as the strange man who looked like Anti blocked the door.

Okay, no door then. Schneep’s eyes scanned the room, and—the call button! Of course! He lunged to the side. The man saw where he was going, and pounced.

Schneep’s hand landed on the button for a split second before the man grabbed his wrist. He started to yell for help, but the man covered his mouth. “Shush,” his voice hissed as he wrapped his other arm around Schneep’s torso.

No! Schneep immediately started struggling, kicking his legs and trying to wriggle free. For a moment, his right arm pulled away, and he hit the strange man in the face. But the man was quick, and recaptured the escaped hand before it could do any damage. “Calm down, you’re going to be asleep in a few moments anyway,” the man said. “Don’t make this hard on yourself.”

That voice—it was—but it couldn’t be. It was impossible—how would he get inside? That—no. Schneep’s thoughts swirled in broken fragments, unable or unwilling to finish and come to the natural conclusion. He shook his head and continued to struggle. The man’s grip was firm. Unbreakable. It was...a familiar feeling.

There was something on his hand. Something powdery, chalky. Like...some sort of makeup. Like...something that could be used to hide blemishes. Or scars. It was on his right hand, the one he’d used to hit the man’s face.

Where Anti’s scars would be.

No...it wasn’t possible. This couldn’t be happening! It wouldn’t be—was it all a trick? All of it? Was he always planning to come back? Or maybe it was all in his head—no. He refused to believe that one.

Strangely, the longer he struggled, the slower his movement became. Sluggish...weak. And Schneep recognized these effects immediately. A sedative? But when...oh. Oh, that sharp pain he’d felt when he had grabbed him...that was a needle, wasn’t it? It was too late, wasn’t it?

Too late...yes, his vision was starting to waver. Schneep gave up on the weak escape attempts. They weren’t doing any good, anyway. Maybe he’d managed to hit the call button, and someone would be coming. Maybe...maybe they could...stop this...help him...please...please...

He looked up into the eyes of his captor and the world faded away.

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticeye fanfiction #jacksepticegos #septic egos #septic egos au #jacksepticeye au #chase brody #jameson jackson #antisepticeye #dr schneeplestein #brigid writes fanfiction #pwtimeline

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kibybun · 4 years ago

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Pocky Game

Yandere Hawks x reader

Tw: Yandere, murder, implided non con/rape

Enjoy!

You huffed as you lean against a tree to help you catch your breathe. You had been hiking for around an hour now trying to find a private area to camp.

Today was a long awaited day for you and your two bestfriends. For them it was a much needed vacation while for you it was your chance to actually talk to them due to the fact they were always busy. Busy saving the day as two of the most popular heros.

Hawks and Mirko, but of course they go by Keigo and Rumi when they are with you.

The three of you have known each other for years now, becoming nearly inseparable.

"Hey guys... is this far enough?" They both laugh at how out of breathe you are.

"Hehe c'mon (y/n)! Who knew you were so lazy!" Keigo pats your head and leaves his hand there.

"Hehe be nice to (y/n), they brought all the food!" Rumi's hand falls onto your shoulder.

Little did you know that Keigo was scowling at Rumi as she stared at you with odd look on her face.

"Yeah Keigo! Be nice to me or no chicken!" You swirl around to look at the rabbit and the bird.

Keigo looks hurt that youd even say that. "No! I'll be good I swear!" He flings himself onto you and almost knocks you over.

"Woah there Keigo, dont hog (y/n) all for yourself!" Rumi pries him off of you only to trap you in her embrace.

"Hehe guys~! I love you guys too but we need to set up our tent!"

They stop fighting over you and blush, thinking you ment it differently than you did.

The two of them start to set up the tent while get the fire started. While they put up the tent it almost seems like they're competing. It's very subtle but evident due to the fact that you've known them so long.

Everytime the three of you do something the two of them always make it a competition, and everytime they made you chose someone. Whenever they make you do this you choose to reward one with praise. Then when the next competition happens you choose the other, so everything is fair.

Keigo jumps up and looks at you. "(Y/n)! Look, the tents up! Who's side is better?"

He gestures to his side suggestively while Rumi points to her's. You take a second to decide. Keigo's side was better but you let him win last time.

"Rumi's! Sorry Keigo." You try to smile at him but he turns his head and scowls.

Odd.

You were about to ask him what's wrong but you were interrupted by Rumi tackling you in a hug, again. You laugh it off and hug her back, unable to see Keigo staring angrily at the two of you.

You eventually escape her grasp and start to cook the food.

"How cooked do you guys want your chicken legs?"

"Crispy with a side of you~!" Rumi sends you a flirty look but you just laugh it off.

"Of course! Only if I get a piece of that!" You continue to laugh unable to see Rumi blushing while Keigo's face is flushing red with anger. "How do you want yours Keigo?"

"I dont care." His answer was short and harsh leaving you stunned.

"Keigo what's wrong?"

"Nothing." He gets up and starts to walk away. "I'll be back."

"Uh.. ok be careful though!" You and Rumi look at each other confused as Keigo goes to release his anger.

When he comes back the chicken is cooked and his knuckles are bloody. He sits and tries to grab something to eat but you stop him.

"Oh my god Keigo are you ok?!" You rush over and hold his hands to examine his knuckles. You notice the tiny bits of bark in his wounds but his smirk went unnoticed.

"I'm fine but it would be better if you kissed it."

You and Rumi were both taken aback by his statement. But he had the most innocent smile you've ever seen, so you do it.

His smile only grows as your lips gently press against each wound and smear a tiny bit of his blood onto you lips as Rumi has to sit there and watch.

Once you've kissed each knuckle you lick you lips, cringing at the metallic taste of his blood.

"Uh ok, l-lets eat now..." You try to pull away but he pulls you back into his lap.

You tense, not sure what he plans for you. His arms tighten around your waist and he nuzzles his face into your neck.

You look at Rumi for help but she looked just as panicked as you did.

"Keigo can you please let me go? I n-need to eat..."

"No. You can feed the both of us." You weren't able to see the dangerous glare he sent Rumi.

"Uh ok..."

The three of you spend the next ten or so minutes eating in awkward silence.

The sun was starting to set as well and you were getting cold.

"Keigo?"

"Hm?"

"C-can you let go? I wanna grab my hoodie." He looks upset but let's you go nonetheless.

While up, you grab your hoodie and a box of pocky. You already ate dinner so it's fine to have dessert.

When you return with the box Rumi's face lights up.

"No way! You got pocky!?" She jumps up and reaches for your snack but you pull it out of her reach last moment.

"Nope! These are mine and I'm not letting either of you eat them!"

"But we can play a game with them!"

"What game- hey!" You let your guard down and she stole you snack. "The pocky game!"

"The pocky game?" Both you and Keigo ask in unison.

"Yeah! It's basically a game of chicken!"

"Oh?" Your interest was peaked.

"Yeah! Come here (y/n)! You and me demonstrate!"

"Ok."

You get closer to her and she sticks one end of the pocky into your mouth as Keigo watches intensely. Rumi takes the other end in her mouth and takes a bite.

You understand how to play now.

You take another bite and she takes another. Now your faces were close but not close enough for you to pull away.

Suddenly the pocky was pulled from you lips and hers were pressed against yours. You were startled but were even more startled when Rumi was tackled to the ground by Keigo.

"How could you!?! How could you do that!?" His voice rings out but no one hears but you.

Keigo uses his feathers to hold her in place as he begins to saw off her lips. You wanted nothing more than to go help her but her ear shattering screams left you frozen in fear.

How? Why? Why would he do this?

He finishes and throws Rumi's lips into the fire.

You can hear them sizzle.

nShe tries to speak but was stopped due to the fact she was gargling her own blood.

"R-rumi..." You voice trembles as you try to hold back sobs.

"Say her name again and I'll cut your lips off too." His voice was low, like a growl, as he continued to look at Rumi.

That's when you lost control you body as your knees bend and the tears flow.

Rumi tries to say something again but was cut off as Keigo stabbed her chest. You can never forget the sound of her screams and the squish of his blade into her gut oh so many times.

After what seemed like minutes, he stands. Blood dripping from his as he turns to you. You cry even harder as you see his face splattered with her blood and the tiniest bit of her white hair sticking to him.

"Now that that annoying rodent is out of the way I can finally have you to myself." He steps towards you with open arms and a wicked smile plastered on his face.

You take a step back terrified but that only seemed to upset him. He looks at you and scowls before pinning you to the ground harshly.

"I just got rid of that rodent. Why aren't you happy?" You squirm under his grasp trying to get away. "Tell me you love me, just like you did earlier."

You look away from him as you speak, too terrified to look him in the eyes.

"I l-l-love you..."

"Again but look at me."

You look at him.

"I love you..."

"Again."

"I love you..."

"Say my name too this time."

"I love you... K-keigo..." You choke out a sob.

"Awe, what's wrong? Sad you couldn't kiss me? Dont worry, I don't need a stupid game to do that." He kisses you gently but it still makes you freeze.

"Now I have you all to myself..." His voice was hushed and excited.

"N-no... please..." Your voice was shaking but he didnt seem to notice.

"Shhh I'll go gentle. I want to treasure this. Oh! And if you try to scream no one will hear you, you know that right?" He smirks as he starts to kiss down your jaw line.

You cant run. He's too fast.

You cant hide. He's too smart.

You cant scream. No one will hear.

You were stuck with a soon to be rotting corpse and a full box of pocky. Out in the hills. Where no one could find you. All because you wanted to be with your friends.

You wish you've never met them.

Kiby~💚

#bnha hawks #hawks #hawks x reader #keigo tamaki #mha hawks #my hero academia keigo takami #yandere keigo #yandere hawks #yandere x reader #yandere

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40sbarnes · 4 years ago

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Medici: Spymasters of Florence

Chapter 18: Of The Same Coin

just 2 chapters left! (i hope) they will more than likely be hefty ones so i apologise in advance <3 ive been considering writing an alternate ending and maybe some other little one shots for this story once its finished so let me know if youd be interested in those <3

pairings; lorenzo x reader, (platonic) francesco x reader

taglist; @brynthebulldozer @mythicalamphitrite @nana035 @valravnsraven @hannahhistorian92 @not-thatweird @isaac-lahey-is-bae @angrygardendeer @unstoppable-xavi @johnbolton @voidmalfoy

The pounding in your head was all you could focus on when you first woke up, but you quickly recalled your last moments and frantically looked around, desperate to find out where you were. Your heart sank as you recognised the walls around you.

You were in the Pazzi home, in one of the upstairs rooms, one you'd gotten changed in for a mission before. You tried to move but found your hands chained behind your back to one of the pillars in the room. You tried to move your hands in an attempt to free yourself, but they were tied tight. You changed tactics, pushing your back against the pillar to stand up, but you still couldn't get far. You glanced around the room, looking for something to use to escape, but the door opened before you could discover there was no escape.

"How kind of you to stand for me," Jacopo's voice was laced with spite, "but really, have a seat!" He motioned back to the floor. You stayed standing, confusion across your face.

"What is this, Jacopo?" You questioned, why had he done this?

"I said sit down!" He bellowed, harshly pushing you back to the ground by your shoulder. You knelt on the floor, looking up at him, fury running through you. The door opened once again, and relief washed over you as Francesco entered.

"I told you to wait," Jacopo didn't even turn to face his nephew. Francesco didn't spare him a glance either, his focus on you. You looked up at him with desperation, trying for pity.

"And you told me she wouldn't be harmed," his voice was quiet, but you still heard him.

"Have I harmed you, y/n?" Jacopo turned you to, as if you were a child.

You glanced between the Pazzi's and down at yourself, you were chained up in their home, you were struck with bewilderment at his question.

"See?" Jacopo turned to Francesco, but he certainly wasn't convinced, his eyebrow simply raised.

"Besides, she's no good to us hurt," he shrugged, looking down at you with disgust.

"Why are you doing this?" you questioned, not knowing what else to say, in the off chance they weren't doing this because of Lorenzo you didn't want to expose yourself, and even then, you were ready to deny, deny, deny.

"Don't act coy now, Bellondini," Jacopo snarled, moving to lean against the desk, "you've clearly never been good at it."

"What do you mean?" you whined, pulling at your chains beside your back, your wrists already sore. "What happened at the banquet? Lorenzo?"

"How dare you say his name," Jacopo was seething, "how dare you continue to disrespect us with this act?"

Frantic, you turned to Francesco for help, but he just looked away, refusing to hold eye contact.

"What act? I was with Francesco and I felt faint, and then I woke up chained to this pillar like some dog?!"

"You are no dog, Bellondini, at least mutts have loyalty," Jacopo spat, and you took a deep breath, your fears having come true, he knew. "And don't act so offended. We simply did to you what you tried on us. And made Lorenzo feel as we were made to,” what ever did that mean? “I suppose you're not as tolerant of poison as you so thought," he raised his eyebrows, and you stayed still. How did he know of your mithridatism? How did he even poison you in the first place?

"You really meant to poison me?" Francesco took a step towards you, his voice steady but his inability to hold still was a tell all.

The pain shone in your eyes as they met his, you couldn't bear to look any longer and faced the floor instead.

"There is no more time for lies, y/n, you may as well be truthful. I'm sure your soul is aching for some honesty," Jacopo cut in, but you were still reeling over how they knew everything.

You bit your lip, readying yourself, before lifting your head once again. "How did you know?"

Francesco's eyebrows twitched at your words, but you focused on his uncle. "You think you're my only spy?"

"I know I'm not," you replied, "but why would you have your spies on me?" Your interest was sincere.

"Don't flatter yourself," Francesco scoffed, "we were already suspicious, and our spies that were rightfully set on Lorenzo confirmed those suspicions."

"You go around wearing his ring on your finger right in front of our very eyes, in our own home! Do you take us for fools?" Jacopo's anger was bubbling up again.

"I never meant to harm you, Francesco," you finally answered his question, turning back to him.

"No? Then why was your lip paint full of nightshade?" Francesco raised his voice and pushed back against the pillar.

"It wasn't full of it!" You bargained, "Just enough to make you weak, hopefully faint," the guilt seeped through your voice, as you tried to make it seem like you had done a good thing.

"Because that is so much better," Francesco's monotone voice still pierced your heart.

"I didn't have a choice," it was barely a whisper, and it felt unfair to use his own words against him, especially now that you could reflect on their double meaning, but it was true. If you didn't stop them Lorenzo would be dead.

"Don't you realise, girl? Your lover was never in harm’s way," Jacopo shook his head, "We needed you to out yourself, and that you did." Chills ran through your body, and you ignored the relief that Lorenzo was okay, as you realised it had all been a set up. “Although his feelings may not be, he came looking for you soon after Francesco carried you out,” Jacopo continued his explanation, “I told him naught but the truth, that Francesco had taken you home, as he does with whore at balls, and now poor old Medici thinks that he had been the one you were double crossing all this time.” You had walked right into it. You cursed yourself, a couple months ago you would never have been so naive, so unquestioning, but thinking you had the upper hand had led you to turn a blind eye at just how wrong you were.

"You know, for some time I struggled with why you would risk your own life, sure the Medici could pay you handsomely but I had always thought you to be more intelligent than that," Jacopo continued on his spiel. "And as it turned out you were more stupid than I could ever have thought. All of this over that boy?" Hate seeped into his voice as he spoke of Lorenzo. Francesco turned to the side at his words.

"You are no more intelligent if you truly believe that was my reasoning," you narrowed your eyes at him.

"You'd do well to watch your tone wh-" Jacopo began again, but he was cut off before he could finish.

"Then why?" Francesco raised his chin slightly, gaining your attention with the two simple words.

"A Florence under Pazzi rule is not one I wished to see," you faced Jacopo as you spoke, your words clearly intended for him.

"What blasphemy! You feign this morality all of a sudden? What of all the tasks that funded your dinners? All those years you served me with no qualms and now you have these issues?" he shook his head, not buying your words.

"All those years are the reason I formed this opinion. All the things you made me do just to survive," you spat, enraged by his audacity.

"Made you do? Need I not remind you who came to me begging for work, just a little wench back then, I had already found you insufferable," he tutted.

"You needed me," you shook your head, there was plenty a time you had performed the impossible for the man in front of you.

"I needed someone I could trust," he pointed at you, "someone who would be grateful for all I did for them. You were never even a great spy," he sighed, and you bit back your hurt feelings, it was not the time or place, "I mean, you didn't even notice your own lip paint being swapped, some pickpocket you are." He huffed, pulling out the two lip paints from his pocket. You furrowed your brows; how long had they been listening to know so many details of your plan? "You were having far too much fun dancing to even notice, but I suppose that's what happens when you let a peasant into our world."

You lurched forward, the chains rattling against the marble pillar, Jacopo simply laughed at your futile attempt. You knew there was no hope with him, so you turned to where you'd always found safety.

"Francesco, I was simply trying to give you another choice. To stop you from having to murder Lorenzo, you had to know that wouldn't end well for you," you watched his expression carefully, for any sign that he was truly listening to your words, "I never meant for any ill to come of you. I knew the effects of the poison and you were never going to be harmed. I made him promise me as much. You know how I care for you," you shuffled from where you were kneeled, aching to be closer to him.

"Leave him alone!" Jacopo stopped you, clearly afraid of whether his nephew would listen.

"If you had gone through with it you can't say where you'd be! You know Jacopo would sell you out in a heartbeat if it meant his safety, he never truly wanted happiness for you! Only I can say I have, and you know this!" You kept pushing, until Jacopo stood up and crossed the floor, slapping you across the face with the back of his hand. One of his rings sliced just above your cheekbone, it was only a tiny cut, but it already stung. You remained looking the way he had forced you to, shocked.

"Uncle!" Francesco stepped forward, until Jacopo spun around and raised his arm, causing him to flinch back.

Jacopo pointed to the door with his raised hand, "Out! At once!" he demanded. Francesco glanced your way one last time, before doing as he was told.

"You have some nerve," Jacopo crouched down beside you after the door shut, his finger now pointing at your face. "You've already hurt that boy enough." You ignored him, staring at the ground so hard you swore it was about to burst into flames.

Jacopo didn't appreciate your lack of attention on him, and he grabbed your chin, squishing your cheeks and forcing you to look at him. "Do you hear me? You will not speak to him in such way again."

You squinted at him, causing him to tighten his grip on you to the point where it hurt, you could feel the blood oozing out of your fresh cut more and more as he pushed at your cheek. You nodded, and he finally released you.

"Now," he stood up, away from you, "To hurt the boy that you haven't nearly harmed enough."

#oof #im sorry about thissss #the pazzis werent as stupid as we so hoped #medici: spymasters of florence #daniel sharman #daniel sharman x reader #lorenzo de medici #lorenzo de medici x reader #medici #medici fic #medici: masters of florence #francesco pazzi x reader #francesco x reader

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tscmu · 4 years ago

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- double unrequited

- the second years argued. a lot. youd think the lot of them were conjoined at birth. so it wasnt surprising when a girl came into the mix, and tore their hearts into pieces, huh?

w/c- 1717 pairing/s- atsumu x fem!reader, suna x fem!reader and a lil bit of osamu x fem!reader ;) genre- idk lmao but theres a lil angst ig warnings- secondhand embarassment, TINY mention of pornography, heartbreak a/n- THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE EHEHEH anyway my writers block’s kinda over????anyway read 2 da end for a surprise twist ;)))

as the sun started to set over the small area of the hyogo prefecture, all was calm. birds chirped every now and then, flying through the cold skies, enjoying the october buzz in the air. trees’ leaves were littered over the pavement and roads, crunching whenever they were squashed by an oncoming boot. however, if you were to wander through the inarizaki high school grounds on that day, you would hear a buzz of arguing from a specific gym.

“for fucks sake! samu, help yer dear brother out here.. it's pronounced gif, not whatever this ‘jif’ crap is!” the blonde haired, tall setter of the volleyball team leaned backwards on the bench, staring at someone behind him. the latter was the similar looking, gray haired opposite hitter, who just rolled his eyes at the comment.

“first off, yer no calling me yet ‘dear brother’ again. you’re getting zip from me.” he said, taking a glug out of his bottle as the blondie yelped in shock. the slightly taller, brown haired middle blocker giggled to himself. “plus, its technically jif anyway, everyone just says gif because its what society projected onto us.”

“oh, shut up with all that logical bullshit.” the blondie rolled his eyes, standing up and slamming his bottle down onto the space that was left. “oi, kita, ‘s break over?”

“i mean, technically ‘s over whenever ya want it to be. just go spike some balls or something if you’re bored.. oh, hi!” the shorter, white-and-black haired captain slowed down talking, turning to look at the door. all the boys turned around shortly after him, staring at whoever was there.

as you stood against the door, your hair blowing slightly with the wind behind you, your face slightly sweaty having run all around the school, most of them were mesmerised. your face flushed a deeper shade of red after seeing all their eyes glued to you, and you laughed a little.

“oh, sorry, i’m trying to find the girls basketball gym!” you smiled, tilting your head a little. “is this volleyball? sorry, i’m new, i just got told to go to the basketball gym after school for the first practice, but i have no idea where i'm meant to be going!” you giggled slightly, making atsumu and suna go pink. “sorry for disturbing you!” you waved slightly, hopping back down the stairs up to the doors. however, you stopped after hearing footsteps and voices behind you.

“it’s oka-” kita started to say, before sighing, seeing what was happening before him.

“i’ll help you!” atsumu shouted after you, grabbing his jersey in case you were cold.

“i can show you!” suna also shouted, pushing atsumu out the way and grabbing his bottle.

“simps..” osamu and aran both said, shaking their heads as the two boys continued to shove each other.

“no, i will.” the former's voice turned serious, slowing down as they reached the top of the steps. suna frowned, and opened his mouth to say something else, but they both got distracted as they heard your mesmerising laugh again.

“you can both come, if you want, i really don’t mind!” you smiled, doing that little head tilt again. they both nodded instantly, before frowning at each other as soon as your back was slightly turned. “okay, so i’ve walked in on about ten other clubs..”

ever since that moment, it was just a competition of who could win you over. the rest of the boys had moved on, teasing them both for their pure urge to beat each other. all of the boys argued, but nothing was ever as heated as atsumu and suna’s debates. there was a new one every time they went to practice, from something as big as the death penalty to something as tiny as how much diluting juice you put in the glass before you add the water. it was stupid, but they‘d been like that for years now.

but with this argument, it appeared neither of them were actually ahead of the other, like it usually ended up.

suna went for a more romantic approach with you. offering to walk you home, waiting for you after classes, walks through random forest paths on sundays. it wasn’t what he was used to, he’d never paid that much attention to girls. they all seemed to fawn over the miya twins anyway. but it was when you seemed to pay genuine attention to him, it caught his interest.

obviously he found girls attractive, but the girls he saw online were never the same as girls in real life. not even just porn or anything, even in romance films, they were all so secretive. he didn’t really have the charm either, so he found himself just waiting for a girl to make a move, and if she didn’t, he’d just.. give up. you were unique to him, though. it got to the point where you’d wait for him after class too, wait at the front doors for him to come out so you could walk home, texting him at 9 in the morning asking if he wanted to go on that one walk again you did about a month ago. it took him by shock a little, but he didn’t want it to stop.

whereas atsumu, on the other hand..

to be frank, girls weren’t a big deal to atsumu. he’d always had that blessing of girls fawning over him, so he’d never had to worry about ‘winning over’ a girl. but it hit him when he met you.. he was gonna have to fight for you, wasn’t he?

he visioned you as a more.. modern girl. he assumed suna would go more traditional, the man had no experience with girls, for god's sake. he basically assumed he would win you over.. who wouldn’t pick him over anyone? and so he started. he did with you what he did with every girl, midnight drinking on a random roof, random shopping trips into town, secret lunchtime conversations behind the school. he didn’t think much of it at first, why would he? you were just another girl he’d probably date for what, a week or so, then you’d dump him after actually realising what he’s like. he couldn’t picture himself settling down. but.. you changed him, in a way. he finally found something he wanted to work for.

what was the one thing in common with these stories though?

you never actually showed any form of romantic interest in either of them, throughout this whole ordeal.

so then, after what felt like years, two days before atsumu left for the training camp, they decided it was the day. the day to confess.

neither of them actually knew about the other's plans, it was just pure coincidence they saw this as the opportunity. atsumu because he could try to sweep you away with him to tokyo, suna because he could tease atsumu about it while he was gone. it was a good plan, on both sides., you had to admit, after hearing it a while later.

“the fuck’re you murmuring for?” atsumu frowned, turning around to look at suna, whose head was in his hands.

“mind your business..” the latter muttered, murmuring under his breath again, making atsumu shake his head. he wasn’t scared, why would he be? you were bound to say yes, for the past few months you’d been spending time with him. you knew what he was like, as he did with you.

“eh, suit yourself. i need to find y/n..” he said, picking up his jacket.

“what? y/n? but i need to find her!” suna snapped back into reality, his eyes wide as atsumu glanced at him

“..yeah. well, you can speak to her tomorrow or something, this is important.” he said in a careless manner, starting to walk towards the door, but stopping short, seeing the door slide open.

“oh! hey, tsumu!” you appeared from outside, your faux fur hood tickling your neck as your beaming face came into the light from the slight darkness behind you. it couldn’t help but make him smile.. god, he couldn’t wait to call you his. suna, from behind him, felt himself smile too, you were stunning. “you ready?” you looked behind atsumu, but as he whipped his head around, he realised you weren’t actually looking at suna either.

“yeah, your place tonight?” oh. oh no. as atsumu realised what was happening, his mouth dropped open. osamu stood up from the bench, his jacket slung over his shoulder as he crossed past both suna and atsumu, kissing you on the forehead.

“you bet! god, my mum’s been so excited to meet you.. bye boys!” you waved at both suna and atsumu separately, going back to chattering to osamu.

“what.. the fuck?” suna said, frowning. atsumu joined him, still in a state of shock.

“yeah, what the fuck?” he turned around, mouth still open.

“oh, you didn’t know? they’re dating, have been for what, a month or something now?” kita smiled, while aran tried not to burst out laughing to his right. “during the christmas holidays, they hung out a bit. i think y/n came looking for atsumu, but he wasn’t in, so she decided to chat to osamu instead. did you seriously not know?” kita laughed a little, and atsumu’s shock turned to anger. ths, of course, made suna burst out laughing.

“what the fuck? no, what the actual fuck? how did i not know the girl i was in love with was dating my brother?” he looked around a little, looking for assistance, but all the boys were snickering at him.

“now i think of it, that was extremely obvious.” suna said, laughing more by the second. he was sad, of course he was! the girl he was falling drastically in love with had a boyfriend, and he had no idea, that would break anyone's heart. but.. this was extremely funny.

“fine, lets just go then.” atsumu humphed, dragging his feet as he walked to the door. “to be fair, she was looking for me. probably liked me more.” he said as they reached just outside the door, and suna shoved him into the wall. “oUCH! THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?” he yelled, making kita chuckle to himself.

these idiots.

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyu #Haikyu!!#inarizaki #atsumu #atsumu x reader #miya twins #miya atsumu #miya osamu #osamu #osamu x reader #suna rintaro #suna

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myheroaizawashota · 6 years ago

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[OKAY!!! So this upload had a really buggy time on my end, causing me to copy and paste the post and repost it like that. We love when tumblr takes a dump on itself hahaha. Ha. Ha. Regardless I LOVED writing this prompt! In order to save it i didn’t get a chance to proof read it before editing it! Hopefully it still reads well! I loved this prompt so much and had so much fun with it! @lucacangettathisass ]

Have you ever made a call so harshly against your better judgement the thought of it was enough to rattle the heaviest of sighs from your body? Aizawa had on occasions, but this…this took the cake. After six excruciating months of endless attempts to blatantly express his subtitle emotions for you, he finally decided to consult an outside source. Just thinking about it made his body shutter. Truthfully, he debated festering with his emotions until either he couldn’t stand them any longer and rushed to your home intentions driven with passsion as he smashed your lips together, or until he died. Either of these seemed like a viable option, though the realist inside of him knew his best course of action would be to enlist the help of his friend. The fact of the matter was Aizawa was lousy at flirting, whenever he’d leave you with subtitle hints of his affections you’d either unintentionally ignore them, blissful with your own ignorance, or laugh as if they were a joke. He couldn’t stand it any longer. Every part of you held his heart hostage, which was shocking to him. Typically unbiased for looks, he couldn’t seem to pull himself over yours. You had this poor typically austere man, wrapped around you’re tiny little pinky and you didn’t even seem to realize.

Rubbing his index fingers roughly into the sides of his forehead, the pro hero sat in irritation listening as the overly enthusiastic and obnoxiously deafening blonde next to him rattled off the most half-witted idea he’d ever heard. “i got it! Here’s what your gonna do, walk up to her, look her in the eyes and go ‘hey gorgeous you don’t happen to have a pencil on you do ya? Cause I wanna erase your past and write your future’.”

Appalled, Aizawa drew in a long breath before releasing a groan of frustration “I don’t ask this question enough, but we’re you by any chance dropped on you’re head in your developing years as a child? I can’t walk up to her and spout nonsense like that.”

Offended Yamada crossed his arms, huffing as he turnt his head away from the brooding pro. “Uncool…I thought it was pretty clever, get it since your name is Eraserhead…huh? Get it? Erase her past? That’s quality and you know it.”

“Clearly we have different ideals when it comes to quality.” The slightly smaller of the two men huffed, his large palms moving to scrub across his face. This was all so ridiculous. While he knew his way was in no means working, he had a sinking suspicion Yamada’s way would end no better for him. The typically flat expression that usually sat fixated on his lips began to droop at the corners, pulling his mouth down into a frown. “I’ve tried being subtitle with her, maybe that’s where I’m going wrong. I should try being more forwards, directly tell her how I feel.”

Sprawling his thin lanky body across the couch, and incidentally Aizawa’s lap, the voice hero gave a cheeky grin up at the other. “Right, and your feelings are what exactly? Ya’ know since you’ve always been one to be up front and open with those” he sneered. Without hesitation, the erasure hero knocked the others body off of his, standing to his feet. “Whoa whoa! Not cool man, not cool!”

While the other was ungodly infuriating, he was right. Aizawa had never once been direct with his feelings for anyone, let alone you. If he was going to make any leeway in this situation, he was going to need to open himself up in a way nobody had ever seen him do before. Unphased by the fact he was leaving the other alone in his home, Shouta headed off for your home hoping to finally tell you everything that had been on his mind. He knew eventually Yamada would let himself out, though he’d probably come home to an empty fridge.

On your doorstep stood a man typically collected and unflustered, the same man now stood with nothing but nervousness riddling every inch of his face. It was unlike him to be so unnerved, but when it came to you, well you bought out the impossible in him. Pulling himself together, his arm reached out as his fist beat against your door. It was late, and the more he began to think rationally about the situation at hand, the more he began to regret coming here. Allowing his mind to talk himself out of his seemingly wise plan, he began to back away from your door, both his legs and heart stopping when the door swung open, you standing noticeably sleepy on the other side. “S-Shouta?…”

Caught, Aizawa swallowed the lump that had began to form in his throat, he scratching the bits of scruff that laid on the underside of his chin. “Hey...May I come in?”

Baffled by his late night drop by, you couldn’t imagine a reason this man would show up so late if it wasn’t a matter of grave importance. With fingers spreading their way across your face, they working their way at the corners of your eyes, you stepping aside allowing the other entrance into your home. Giving the smallest of yawns, your hands stretched over the top of your head leaving your midriff exposed, as you moved to follow lazily behind the other as he made his way in. “It’s half past eleven, what are you doing here?” you asked.

While typically timid and reserved, you felt comfortable enough around the other to speak boldly in front of him….also you were damn near exhausted and your brain didn’t have the energy to play your typical shy front. You let your body drop like dead weight to your couch, you pulling your knees to your chest patting gently at the seat next to you.

His heart began to pace quickly in his chest, the sight of you looking so soft and gentle in your sleepy state was enough to end his life. Setting himself down beside you, his typically tired eyes were filled with something you hadn’t seen before, though you couldn’t place your finger exactly on what it was. Lost in his eyes for just a moment longer than you should of been, you couldn’t help but turn a peachy shade as the bridge of your nose began to heat. “What are you staring at me like that for?”

Unaware he was staring, the other couldn’t fight the small blush that struggled to hide against the pale porcelain of his cheeks. “I didn’t realize I was staring…I just…” he paused clearing his throat, eyes casting away from yours “You look really beautiful, I didn’t think anyone could look so pretty just dressed in pajamas…”

You couldn’t help but laugh, smiling down at your lap as you tucked one of the half waved strands of hair that hugged the curvature of your cheek behind your ear. “I hope you didn’t come all this way just to be nice about my pajamas.”

“Actually, I did. I came all this way at half past eleven to tell you that youre beautiful all the time, not just at night when you answer the door for me. All the time. When you’re at work, when you’re relaxing with Mic and I while he makes excessive commentary that makes you smile and laugh, even when you’re sad youre still the most beautiful person I’ve ever looked at.” His words fell aimlessly out of his mouth, his eyes casted anywhere but yours in this moment. The never fearing pro hero had finally been stricken with fear, he to anxious to meet his gaze with yours as he pushed on “I’ve been trying for months to tell you I like you. Clearly, up until this point I don’t think you’ve taken my hints…or maybe you have. Maybe the way you push off the subtitle hints I give is your way of letting me know you don’t care about me the same way I care for you…I don’t know, but I don’t want to take the chance, I came here to let you know that I…like you. A lot.” His lips pursed together as he sat, hands folded apprehensively in his lap, his grip causing the knuckles to whiten as he clenched them together. “In retrospect this conversation could have very well waited till morning….or at least have been sent over text..”

Floored by the others confession, you sat silently trying to gather the words that had magically fled your mind. It was as if every word youd ever learned in your many years of life seemed to have all at once left your brain, you sat floundering for a cohesive sentence. The only thing you could manage to push out was “I’m an idiot.” Confused by this response, Aizawa rose a brow, eyes flicking up to yours in search of a better answer. Not exactly the response he was hoping for.

“I’m not uninterested I’m just…a shy idiot.” Your sighed palms rubbed across your face as you shook your head. “Shouta I’m sorry…”

An apology….that wasn’t any better to hear truthfully. Digging his teeth into the corner of his lip, he moved to stand, truthfully just a bit embarrassed and ashamed by his own pitiful display of emotions. As he moved to break for the door, his hand was caught by yours, pulling his body effortlessly back to the couch. “I’m sorry it took me all of this to realize how you were feeling. I guess….I’m not the best when it comes to picking up on hints. I’m a bit on the shy side, so I never really pick up on social hints like that…my brain just thinks ‘oh well that was nice of him to say’. I guess when it comes to things like this, I’m kind of oblivious” you laughed giving his hand a gentle squeeze. He remained silent for a moment more, his heart jumping when he felt the heat of your body move to press against his arm, your nose pressing right against his shoulder as you rubbed it there softly “I like you too…..I never said anything back because well…I didn’t know how. Truthfully I didn’t think you’d be interested in someone so boring and shy like me….”

In that moment, the corners of his lips pulled up into a smile. It lit you heart up to see. Come to think of it, you’d never seen the other smile before in your whole year of friendship. Smiling in response you gave his shoulder a gentle kiss before constricting your arms around his. “I’m glad you told me how you feel Shouta. You know…if you want…um…you could…um..”

Gently sliding his index finger to the underside of your jaw, he titled your head up, moving to effortlessly capture your lips between his, sighing in satisfaction. He’d wanted to do this for quite some time now, and it felt good to finally do so. “If you’re asking me to stay the night the answer is yes.”

BONUS:

[ Much like last time, these texts weren’t requested, but I couldn’t help myself, but wonder what would have happened if Mic and Aizawa would have texted the reader one of the ridiculous pick up lines Mic was trying to sell on Aizawa!]

#aizawa x reader #aizawa shouta #shouta aizawa #bnha requests #bnha x reader #bnha fanfiction #bnha aizawa #my hero academia #my hero academia x reader #my hero academia request #requested #eraserhead #eraserhead x reader

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imagine-wannaone · 7 years ago

Text

Bae Jinyoung Royalty Au

(Excuse the messy header (As always rip)) So or 1k this is a slightly longer fic I guess?? I fill like it’s in a different style but it’s probs not. Anyway, thank you~

> • You didn't want to steal, and you certainly didn't think theft was a clever or good thing to do, but in dire circumstances humans do whatever they can to survive, > • You tried not to steal anything of much worth to anyone, nothing that'd change their life, > • An apple here, a slice of bread, a ring or a necklace, maybe some clothes if you were feeling r i s k y, > • You'd grown up in the poorer part of the city with your parents, struggling to make it until they couldn't and you had to on your own, > • So you just floated, I guess, taking whatever odd jobs you could get your hands on, > • Which wasn't really enough, so as much as you hated it, you became kinda really good at thieving and pickpocketing, > • Some of the poorer kids relied on you for food, so you were really kinda trapped in this way of living, > • So you try to think of different ways you can get some food, because you really shouldn't stay to the same tactics or people, for they had a job to do and families to provide for aswell, > • So your mind turned to one target, one that you knew wouldn't notice if a few pieces of food and maybe a cloth went missing, > • The palace, the royal family, > • A hugely risky target, yes, but at this point you were desperate enough with not a whole lot to lose, > • So you plot, plan and scheme because, although you couldn't graduate from your secondary school from being caught up with trying to survive, you're crafty; wise, > • So you manage to find some blue prints of the palace after trading your shoes and a block of cheese, > • You then spend the rest of your spare time on the roof of the highest building in the city, watching the patrol patterns of the guards and memorising it, > • As well as the blind spots for cameras and where the shadows lay at what time, > • By the end of the month, you were pretty prepared: the map of the palace printed to memory, the kitchen was the main place you needed to navigate to, > • You set out, clothes black to blend in and without shoes for silence. You were confident in your plan. > • And it works, > • You sneak from shadow to shadow and manage to slide in, > • And never have you seen anything so grand, red carpets laid lazily for hallways and hallways, it seemed to relax the setting with high ceilings and painting and vases, > • It made you angry, how people could live so luxuriously while people like you had no choice but to steal, > • You pushed down your unprofessional anger and slipped into the kitchen, > • You nearly froze when you saw the absolutely extraordinary range of food the royals had, some of which you'd never seen before, > • You took a little bit of everything so they wouldn't notice anything had gone, before you left silently the way you came, unknown and unimportant, > • And that night you, or any of the street kids, weren't hungry for the first time in a long long time, > • The food you'd taken lasted around a week before you were forced to take an apple from a stall again, and the guilt you felt overwhelmed you, turning the apple sour in your mouth, > • You felt no guilt stealing from the royals, so you decided maybe you could go again, > • And again, > • And eventually you went roughly once a week, pushing your luck further and further everytime, waiting for the guards to finally find you or pick up on your movements, > • Waiting to be caught, > • But it's about 2 months before something does happen, > • You're creeping your way out of the kitchen, now armed with a black bag attached to you, a new black shirt and leather black trousers, having traded something fishy smelling from the palace to a merchant for your outfit, > • When you hear the guards marching in sync towards the area you were slipping from, > • You panic, and although your heart starts beating a mile a minute, you're a street kid, you can always find a way out, > • So as the marching sounds approach at an all too fast pace, your eyes scan the perimeter for an alleyway to run or a box to hide, > • But just as you're about to take your luck with the shadows, you feel a hand wrap around your wrist and pull quickly, and you stumble, > • You're pulled into what you can only describe as a broom cupboard, a wooden door quickly, quitely closing behind you as you're tugged against a body, a hand over your mouth in the darkness, > • Who does he think you are, you're not so amateur to scream when there are guards nearby, > • So you rip the hand from your mouth, only to hear a soft 'ssshhh' before behind you, the breath tickling your ear, > • You do as commanded, not stupid, standing still and quiet, > • You hold your breath as you hear the guards march through the kitchen and out again, completely on edge, but the warmth from the body behind you is strangely calming, their hand still on your wrist rubbing anxious circles in the back of your hand and an arm around your waist to keep you still, > • The silence settles and you wait for 5 minutes before you spin away suddenly to stare at whoever saved you for some reason unbeknownst to you, > • His face is small and handsome, his hair neatly cut and his features perfect, skin clear nails cut perfectly, > • His good looks would be daunting but he's so cute it ruins the effect, > • As well as the fact that he's wearing a huge pink shirt that makes him look smaller than he actually is and wow, > • A whole ass cutie right there, > • He looks so young as well; you're about to ask him why he isn't in bed - he needs his beauty sleep, > • Although you predict he'd probably still be beautiful without sleep, > • From his appearance and the situation you're in you come to realise he's one of the princes, > • You only ever recognise around 3 of the princes, the older ones, because the younger ones aren't ever seen outside of the castle, > • So although you know the boy infront if you is infact a prince, the posture and look in his eye is a giveaway just by themselves, you have no idea which one, > • "Who are you?" > • The question comes out quick in a low whisper, > • "I think I should really be asking the questions here," > • He says it with a gentle time but you know he's right, you nodded your head only because you know he can't see you properly since youd walked back into a shadow, > • " You know, I watch you around once a week slip into this kitchen to take whatever, but I'm still clueless to anything about you," > • You hum lowly; you knew it was too lucky to not have been seen before, so the fact that this prince has in fact noticed you doesn't come as much of a surprise, despite being a little unsettling, > • I mean being watched is creepy as hell even if the watcher is cute, > • Beauty does not excuse him of his crimes, > • But then you're a thief soooo . . . > • You're just plotting how and when to escape when his hand wraps around your wrist again, almost as if he can read your mind, > • You're slightly upset you're so easy to read, > • "Hey, I have a deal I think you'd find very interesting," > • He whispers and his eyes sparkle in excitement and as if a decision was made within those few seconds in his mind, > • "Oh?" > • You raise your eyebrows, slightly intrigued but guard still up, you do not trust the royals, > • "First, what's your name?" > • You contemplate the question, whether to answer the question truthfully, and you figured there's not a lot they could learn about you with your name, > • And, annoyingly, something about the prince infront of you made you want to be truthful and honest, > • You hate it, > • But you answer truthfully anyway, > • "Not many people know but the younger princes aren't allowed out of the palace, at all, but I think thats stupid. I want you to help me out every now and again, show me the city, the world," > • The tone of his voice breaks your heart a little, and although you don't live a great life, you love the city for the people and the variety and the secrets it holds, you can't imagine not being allowed out, > • But you know the request isn't as simple as it seems, > • "Why should I?" > • you whisper it quietly is a tone that's soft, half way through to giving in already, the situation the prince is in unfair even by your eyes, > • "Because I asked, and because I watched you stealing from my house for a solid 2 months and said nothing," > • The fact the prince doesn't threaten to call the guards, the fact that he doesn't resort to forcing you to do it makes you decide instantly that you're going to help the boy stood infront of you, > • "Meet me here, next week at 2 am, come in black, a face mask and cap maybe. A tiny amount of money." > • You slide towards the door, ready to return to your hut for the night, > • "It's Jinyoung, by the way," > • You smile a little before slipping, > • (Almost literally at the smile he sends you) > • Into the night, > • You spend a good amount of time plotting what to do before you return to the castle the following week, slipping into the cupboard silently, praying this isn't a trap, > • When the door cracks slowly open a few minutes later you're ready to pounce, but relax slightly when Jinyoung wonders in, a smile tugging at this mouth the minute he spots you, > • He does in fact follow your orders, wearing matching black shirt and leather trousers, > • The look would be mysterious or threatening, daunting or scary, but with Jinyoungs soft face his aura doesn't change, > • It really blows you away, how he can make anything stylish and cute, > • What warms your heart is the small, tightly packed bag Jinyoung holds out to you when you greet him, packed to the brim with food that could last you a few weeks on end, > • You want to hug him but then remember you're supposed to be a mysterious hardcore thief, > • But he thought about you and gave you a life line, so you wrap your arms around him anyway, and he seems to invite the hug, even from someone so low down on the social status as you, > • You sneak out at the beginning of the next round of guest patrols, and you help Jinyoung climb over the fence, > • When you land safely on the other side his eyes light and his shoulders relax, a carefree happiness settle in his eyes and you decide the risk is definitely worth it, > • So you lead Jinyoung to the west side of the city, where the night market brings the place alive, > • Because jinyoung can't go out, not many people would recognise him, and the cap to cover his clean cut hair, the mask to hide his face, he's just another citizen, > • His eyes sparkle with the bright lights, the variety of people, the smells from all the fried food stalls and loud haggling, > • The place to you was somewhere you used to love, easily blending in and stealing small items without the blink of an eye, some people would even give you something small for free, > • But only now, with Jinyoung by your side, do you take in the bustle of the place for the first time, > • It's alive and that makes it special, > • By the time Jinyoung arrives at the palace safely again, he's high on life, stuffed with street food and eyes holding the neon lights, a small keep-sake tucked into his pocket, > • And this continues, around once a week or two, you take Jinyoung to see a different part of the city, > • It takes a whole month to plan, but you manage to sneak him out one day as well, taking him to all the shops that do the best things for the lowest prices, the cafes with the best pastries, the best people to chat to, > • You take him to the rooftop to see the stars and even push the boat to watch the sun rise, > • And he surprises you every time, how he brings down your thoughts of the royals, being kind and gentle and thoughtful, > • He really captures you attention, you find yourself simply staring at his profile, taking in the details of his face completely as you know that one day you'll have to stop this, you want to remember his every detail, > • He knows you're staring a lot of the time, perceptive to his surroundings, but doesn't mind at all, although occasionally a light blush dusts his cheeks at the intensity, > • Sometimes he turns to stare back, and you sit just looking at each other, > • "Y/N, why do you never take me to your place?" > • The pure innocence in his voice makes your heart crack a little and you breath in quickly, > • "I'm not sure it's a place you'd like to see, my prince," > • He leans against your shoulder and hums, the sound rattling through your own bones to rest in your heart, lodging itself there, > • Jinyoung knew you probably didn't live in the nicer parts of the city you'd shown him, since he knew you where a thief, but pressed Anyway, > • "Y/N, if I have any say in this country in the future, you cannot just show me the good parts, as I will not be able to help the worse parts. Please," > • The look he sends you makes your heart melt and the thoughts in your head to loose their direction, and you nod you head slowly, understanding his viewpoint, > • So you lead him to the worst part of the city, pointing out certain people and what they do and you show him the kids, who are still awake telling stories only kids can find humour in, and he passes them some food out of the bag he always packs for you so they instantly love him, > • Showing him your part of the city is like opening a part of your heart to him, and that there may be hope for the future, when Jinyoung gets a say in what happend to the city, that he could help, > • The way he doesn't look down on anything there, the kids too skinny, the broken clothes and tired laughs, the tiny room you call your home, makes hope flame in your heart, and that's the most powerful thing you've ever felt, > • So you decide, the next time is the right time to show him the most breathtaking part of the city, the most underrated part, > • The city sits next to the sea, used as a port for trade, > • But there's the small beach, your favourite place, somewhere many people think isn't big enough, grand enough to be worth anything, > • But you watch jinyoung's eyes as you show him the cove, sand covering the ground, the sea a dark navy from the night sky, a few stars fighting against the darkness with a few large, odd rocks bopping out from under the sand, the moon hazy ahead, > • And you can see he understands the small beauty of such a place, he just gets it, > • So you settle down on one of the rocks, dropping your feet a little into the water, leaning back to relax, Jinyoung making you the most relaxed you may have ever been, > • You feel him drop down next to you and copy your actions, your heart warms tenfolds, incredibly fond of this royal, > • Which honestly shocks you to pieces because weren't the royals awful and selfish? > • Is Jinyoung even a royal? > • At this point you didn't care, he was Jinyoung, he didn't care for the label added to his name so neither did you, > • "You are, perhaps, one of the most interesting people I have ever met, Y/N," > • You don't call out the fact that he probably hasn't met that many people, trapped in the castle, > • You move to look that him, the outlines of his face visible and the moon in the background, > • Jinyoung was a picture you never wanted to stop looking at, > • "Oh?" > • You smile softly as his gaze shifts to you, his handsome face coming into your view, another picture you're going to save in time as one of the parts of your life, a strong friend, > • "You put your life on the line for me every week, and what do I give in return? You really make me feel like there's no one else in the planet who matters," > • You can't say you felt butterflies, or bees, or any sort of animal in your heart or your stomach, but just a complete sense of safety, > • "You give more than you imagine Jinyoung, you bring a warmth to my heart I haven't felt for a long time, a happiness in my stomach, a dizziness in my head, a reason to wake in the morning," > • In that moment, you acknowledged this was a conversation perfect for your surroundings, > • for what else should you talk about in the dead of night, the sea beneath your feet and moon above your head? > • "Well you've helped me discover more than I thought possible, as well as my own heart," > • The shy smile encourages you to pull forwards into his warmth, > • And under the dark sky, the world falls apart as your lips touch with the promise of discovering a lot more.

#bae jinyoung #jinyoung #wanna onemww1 #imagines #headcanon #oneshot #fluff #royalty au #wanna one imagines #wanna one oneshot

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lizardswithoutlegs · 8 years ago

Text

HOOOOOWOWOAH BOY

ART ASKS

when i walk into a building i get to eat everybodys pencils and they cant say no

do it

( also thanks for asking ! )

itd bother me a lot less if everybody came to my apartment and took one of these beautiful eggs

YEAH UNFORTUNATELY IM STILL..... WORKING THROUGH THE SAME WAITLIST but im comparatively REAL CLOSE to being done with it and i should be opening up sometime later in...... the Year

Boy Have I

theres This messy thing from a while back and then also

THIS, from even FURTHER back, when i didnt realize how fucking RED all the outlines on my things were because of the monitor i was using, two for the price of one

why not both

i do Not but it you ever see me walking on the street please throw handfuls of teeth at me theyre the only things my wretched body can digest and im always hungry

OH MAN ok so, an art telephone game is based on, of course, the game telephone, where one person says a phrase and then whispers it to the next person, and so on and on until the person at the very end says whatever they heard and if its done right the final sentence is wildly different than what you started with

an ART telephone game is the same kind of concept, except one person draws out a scene or character, and then other artists draw THEIR interpretation of whats going on, and so forth until the last person can end up with something COMPLETELY different than what the first scene was

youd think thered be less room for error with drawings, but as each person ONLY sees what the person ahead of them has made, they can get PRETTY OUT THERE - im gonna be a part of pythosarts game, and theyve done a couple of em before - for example one round started with THESE as the first two drawings

and then fourteen interpretations later, ended up with these as the final two

its good its real good

I Cant Control Where Bigfoot Goes, I Can Only Take Note Of Where Hes Been

YEAH, sort of ! on the main, iguanamouth, i have a bunch of different tags for art depending on what they are but not really a catchall one, BUT i do have an art only blog where everything gets tossed over !

HONESTLY THE ADVICE i got is basically what all art advice is gonna boil down to eventually - you gotta just. do it. you gotta DO it

absolutely nobody you know who draws things well started out at the level theyre currently at, and putting down the things youre visualizing onto paper is a combination of getting the the technical aspects down as much as getting the idea in your head

and that goes with figuring out anatomy and how bodies are put together ! ive got to use references for a Million things,. especially the dragon hoards - theres absolutely nothing wrong with using references for your drawings ! and being able to create accurate representations of things without looking is something that comes more with drawing something over and over and memorizing the body shape more than just, feeling like you should KNOW how to do something

so dont beat yourself up for needing references. if youre trying to shy away from them a little bit but still cant make something look nice without em, try using several different reference photos to put together an entirely different pose ?

theres ALSO the SHRIMP METHOD, which is great for practicing and getting good at one particular thing - this probably isnt SUPER HELPFUL but good luck !

god i tried. exactly ONCE maybe fourish years ago but it wasnt art, i was trying to stream the lion king movie and i had no idea what i was doing, i didnt realize i needed to wear headphones so the sound wouldnt snowball into a feedback loop of my own voice that never ended but i kept laughing and it kept distorting worse and worse, like the audio version of saving and resaving something as a jpeg

it was just me and my friend ronni in the stream and ONE other person who never left and never said anything and i kept addressing them out loud like WHO ARE YOU and that only compounded the noise problem and eventually i gave up

anyway i havent tried since

i uhhhhh dont think i COULD, really - fear especially is something thats kind of subjective and one persons Big Terror could be neutral or even cute to another person

like for me i used to have a lot of childhood fears about the ocean, and how deep and dark and vast it was, to the point where i couldnt play a lot of water levels in video games, even ( but i had almost drowned several times when i was Very young which probably had, a little somethin to do with that )

maybe sometime ill try to explore things IM afraid of, but its hard to encompass a psychological response in an image !! could be a fun experiment, though ! !

a few PLANT ANIMAL AZKZ, HUH, DONT HAVE A WORKING Z KEY

SHIT DUDE THESE ARE... SO GOOD thats the official name EVEN IF i didnt use. a daffodil as the flower base. it doesnt matter

yes

i got A BUNCH of flower and plant themed suggestions and theyre all REALLY GOOD ( way more than these ) but straight up im taking a break from em for a while - if anybody is else is reading this though you should definitely tackle one of em

WASABI ASKS

Do Not Feed Animals The Paste

i keep going back to read this ask because you could replace wasabi with my name and its the exact same. its the same. i feel like i have to hide somewhere

this was real and this is the award they gave us

there were other awards but the judges refused to give them out. they burned them in front of the other dogs. we won

it depends on the age ! wasabis pretty much an adult, so her sheds are pretty infrequent ( usually once every 7-8 months ) BUT when she was still growing back like 6 years ago, she would do a full-body shed every other month !

wasabi accepts tokens of appreciation in the form of : fruit, green beans. No Exceptions

i would never seperate wasabi from her hands

absolutely..... not. not even a little bit h h hh a this isnt a disney animal companion, i dont even know what “kind of like a dog” means with , a lizard who cant make any vocalizations or get up on their hind legs or NOTHIN sometimes if i hold a piece of fruit on my hand and she reaches for it she gets confused on whats what and tries to bite my fingers instead

ONCE WHEN SHE was attacking her reflection in a mirror i put my hand in front of her face to break eye contact and she SUNK HER TEETH RIGHT IN THERE but immediately let go like “oh whoops”

lissten . . . wasabi is so sharp, just absolutely everywhere, and these are the sharpest. the grabbers

heres a lil battle damage from earlier today actually

this is pretty tame BUT the long long lines are from claws, and the thinner, closer together ones are from holding her and her scales scraping against the skin. so not even just the Body is completely safe ! this is not an animal youre gonna wanna get your face real close to if theyre in a walkin mood

she doesnt even MEAN to scratch the shit outta me, its just kind of a byproduct of being a big tree lizard. her tail is absolutely the worst thing to get hit by though. the WORST. lucky me she doesnt attack anything that isnt a dog or a vacuum cleaner or her own reflection

ahhh i got her when i was 16 ! and i dont know her exact age but she was somewhere between 3-6 months when i get her - SHES probably closer to 9 years, but ive had her for about 8

LENGTH THOUGH...... the last time i measured her she was just barely under four and a half feet, but that was a few months ago and its possible shes. Just Slightly larger. shes currently sleeping as i type this so i guess we will never know

duel me

too late for coats..... its all tail action now

ROCK ASKS AND ALSO ASKS ABOUT PUTTING ROCKS IN YOUR MOUTH

oh MAN i feel you . . . . . . . . . . i dont think i could actually Bear To Eat any for real but some of em. just. they. i gotta. just. bite on em a LITTLE just a little bit, a tiny bit, a nibble

when i was real young i used to tap things against my teeth to tell what kind of substance they were made of based on the feeling/hardness/density WHATEVER and i still sometimes do it when im checking stuff out and. it uhhhhh sure is interesting finding out not a lot of people did that

a handful of these delicious raw agates, just for you

please stop spying on me

i DO NOT but you may eat this piece of bornite

meet me at the airport and ill cover your bus fair

theres a lotta different ways to figure out what kind of rocks you got but when you have absolutely no clue on where to start your best bet is to search for the biggest distinctive features of it, and try to narrow it down based on the results

like for something like these pieces of chalcedony, you could try “waxy green translucent mineral”, and from the search results find a few candidates that might be what you have on hand, and then look into each one to see if you can get a definite answer

ive got a handful of rock and mineral guide books that i always pick through whenever i snag something im not sure of, and if youre REAL into it those are always something you could start keeping an eye out for

now this is a REAL superficial way to telling what something is and wont be useful for a good chunk of minerals ( as a lot of samples can look really close to something else ) and THIS is a much more in depth way of telling something apart, but its also a lot more time consuming ! so good luck. and good eating.

Just Try And Fucking Stop Me

ANIMAL ASKS THAT ARENT............ ABOUT MY LIZARD

im married to this one actually

fuck. ok. heres. a secret. a In the ask Post secret. wasabi goes through a period that lasts a month every single year where she carries eggs in her gut, and spends that month not eating and digging around in everything, trying to find the right spot to lay these eggs. and. when it happens i never know what to do with them, and i dont want to just THROW THEM AWAY so i. eat them. i eat the eggs. i fuckin eat the eggs dude

Theyre All Goddesses

unless you plan on having your lizard roam around outside whenever they want, the outside environment doesnt really matter much for most reptiles as long as you set their habitat up right ! BUT i do know that australia has bans on certain reptiles ( iguanas are one of them ) and so youre gonna have to look up whats actually available in that area

bearded dragons are native and those are always a good option, but so are a lot of geckos - its really gonna depend on what youre into ( but i dont really recommend anoles if thats an option, because theyre fast as Hell and dont like being handled )

what the fuck is a bee

oh geez im sorry ! i remember going through this with spiders a lot when i was younger to the point where looking at photos of em used to be a fuckin, TRIAL

you could try a really gradual exposure deal, where you start off with getting comfortable with just images, and slowly working your way to dealing with one in a controlled setting ( like a petstore, maybe ? not HANDLING em or anything, but just being near one in a way where its absolutely impossible for them to touch you )

the shitty thing about this kind of phobia is that even if you KNOW its irrational theres sometimes not a lot you can do about it, but if you can stand looking at photos of them you could try learning up about them, and finding out the types of species youre likely to encounter around your house, and seeing how many ( if any ) are ones you should avoid ?

i know some people that have major problems with snakes are because theyre unsure if the ones they find are poisonous or not, and it might go a long way to confirm that the reptiles you meet wont be able to harm you even if they TRIED ( which is gonna be the case with a lotta house geckos, they cant do SHIT youre a GIANT )

very VERY few lizards have venomous bites, and the worst most of em can do is give you a bloody finger if theyre large enough, and even then its usually not much worse than a cat scratch !

still though, if youre really serious about trying to get past this, dont force yourself too quick into what you think you SHOULD be, and take tiny steps outta your comfort level when you can

this probably isnt uhhh SUPER helpful hh hhah but good luck ! shit im going through this post and its like ALL reptile photos. im sorry

i feel about them, with my hands

MMM it shouldnt HURT them unless theres something Really wrong, considering its a natural procession of growth, BUT its definitely itchy as hell, to the point where reptiles trying to remove it will drag their bodies over stones or walls tryin to get it off

sometimes wasabi drags her whole hind foot over her head like a dog to get it off and it is. a Sight

ahhh honestly there arent a lotta reptiles thatre gonna do much more than TOLERATE the touch and not really, enjoy it, like a dog or cat or bird

but speaking from experience with wasabi, youll probably want to avoid most the head and stick with the top of the back near the sides - wasabi doesnt enjoy having her tail messed with much either, but shes ok with her dewlap and feet being touched

the most important thing to keep an eye out for when youre touching one is their body language, because THATS gonna be a dead giveaway for whether you need to back off or not

closing their eyes is a sign of stress, not enjoyment ! same with tilting the head back, but if thats ALL theyre doing then youre probably not gonna face any retaliation

B U T if theyve got an extended dewlap with a raised body or tail off the ground, not a good idea to interact with em ! thats a defensive posture, and you risk getting hit with a tail or even bitten if your hand gets too close

youve got more to risk with males, who are way more territorial and generally larger, but if they seem pretty chill when you approach and dont stand up and stare at you, youre probably in the clear

COCK of the ROCK

I HAVE im so jealous of anybody whos got to see one in person - actually handling one is a level beyond that which i could even comprehend

OTHER THINGS.....

no but i was bit by a pigeon once

this is the only joke i know

i fuckin WISH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ayy im into it - honestly i havent been following the band so much as just kinda, picking up whatever anybody else mentions and so my knowledge on Gorillaz Lore is pretty uhhhh h hh h scattered but im definitely interested in seeing where this goes

i remember watching the first and second season and it being pretty good - some of the episodes and jokes are hit and miss but you absolutely got me with the creature and alien design

havent seen any of the third season yet though !

i mean the fruit ones could be pretty up there

how bout. an abstract concept. who cares about physical forms wheres the dragon of melancholy

why come theres nothing to eat in my apartment but bread. im good otherwise but its all just bread

i havent watched either of em in YEARS and YEARS but i distinctly remember. these lil dancing mushrooms

oh wait FUCK

FUCK !!!!!!!!!

no... NO.... she is not allowed to eat ANYTHING from the plan shelf, try as she MIGHT

im a little mad that this sill isnt bigger because the only other one that gets sun is in my room and wasabi WIll... absolutely eat those. no doubt. a convenient and expensive salad, for my awful gremlin

god im looking at these and its all jade plants isnt it

little golden books taste the best but they can make you sick if you have too many at once. my favorite genre for snacking is sci fi fantasy but anything over 300 pages tends to get a little tough if you dont break it up with smaller chunks. non fictions always a gamble because the taste is wildly different each time but you can usually tell how ripe it is by the cover color

ayy im already a big fan of some of their stuff, ive got a couple songs from them in my music tag - im especially into i miss you and their shut up and bring it here remix

TOP FIVE THINGS

this is barely related but once i filled up a bathtub with water and then dumped about ten bags worth of mint tea into it and then just. soaked around in the tea. listen it was really nice. id try the cheese

i dont have any ships but i was on one of those model pirate boats once for a school trip. our boat was named naruto and the other one was named sasuke and the captains shouted “make them kiss” and ran them into each other. everybody on board drowned

youre trying to trick me into googling yoshi without shoes and its not going to work

me reading this message from the safety of my apartment :

nice try, but wrong again ! : )

THIS IS GOOD info, thank you

oh SHIT the other side of paradise, take a slice, life itself, and season 2 episode 3 are all my Big Faves

the way you phrased this makes me think you already have a strong opinion on it

hey uh. coming from a person who was absolutely CONVINCED that theyd be dead in the future when they were 12, a not insignificant part of that was me feeling that there was something irreversibly wrong with me for not behaving or acting in certain ways based on what was going downstairs

and obviously im still HERE but it means i can understand how devastatingly terrible it can feel when youre that young and it seems like the way you behave and feel are flawed, or dirty, and anything that can lessen that feeling and make you comfortable in your own body is huge, can save your life

not that im saying its always a LIFE OR DEATH decision !

i guess if youre viewing it as adults forcing a child into making decisions that you dont think theyre capable of understanding its easy to be hesitant about getting behind it, but nobody is forcing a child to be trans. nobody has tricked them into feeling this way. you cant just walk in and get started on treatment on an immediate whim - some programs require 2 YEARS of concrete evidence before theyll even consider it

i feel like you should try speaking to the parents of trans children before you really put down a concrete opinion on whether this is a good or bad thing, and seeing the difference ( if any ) its made in their lives

people whove detransitioned, or found they had ultimately a different identity than the one they were exploring could also be an avenue to look intto ! i have several acquaintances who, after a period of years, found they werent trans but wouldnt take back the time where they were figuring out if they were, and i know this doesnt invalidate the friends i have who ARE

ultimately this is what it boils down to for me : Its Sure Gotta Beat Being Dead

i WILL give you that ive definitely seen a lot of overreactions to seemingly innocuous topics on this website

but youve also got to keep in mind that everybody who is saying these things MEANS them, and to them theres a completely reasonable explanation to why they feel that way

im not saying you should blindly accept any criticism you get, but to instead try to get a grasp on WHY theyre responding the way they are instead of immediately dismissing it

its because i cant drive and they wont let me sit in the front on account of the smell

NICE THINGS

AHHHH I GOT.. a bunch of other really sweet messages to the point where id feel weird about putting em ALL UP BUT... IF YOU SENT ME SOMETHING i can promise i absolutely saw it and it made my day better and just, holy shit, thank you for taking time out of your life to say anything to me at all

because you didnt have to, even a little bit

youre all beautiful and im kissing you on the mouths all at once. no take backs

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rainedrop777 · 8 years ago

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DEAREST GLADDY DADDY!! You are the greatest Shield ever - and we are so blessed to have you and your abs. HERE’S A DRABBLE IN YOUR HONOR! *bows*

There were three distinct birthdays that Gladiolus remembered vividly in his mind - and on days like today - it tended to bring them to light.

The first that came to mind was his 15th birthday.

All had been well for that day.

His father and little sister had gifted him with presents earlier that morning, and a nice breakfast had been prepared. Little more was necessary to do for the day, so Gladio had resumed his scheduled duties as normal.

He wasn’t big on announcing these kinds of things, so typically only close friends and family even knew about the special occasion.

He was fine with that.

But when he had gotten to the citadel to train with Noct that day - he had been surprised when he as informed by the guard that the prince was sick. It wasn’t unusual for that to happen - but the most confusing part was when they reported to him that Noct had requested to see him in his chambers immediately. Mildly confused and alarmed, Gladio had done as he was told and made his way to the room.

His initial thoughts were that Noct wanted to apologize for missing another session, as they had very recently just begun to understand one another and probably didn’t want to damage it by skipping out, but that was not the case when Gladio entered the room.

The young boy was sitting up in his bed, medicines and tissues around him. He looked impressively tired and flushed, but his eyes lit up when he saw Gladio enter the room.

“Jeez, you look like hell, kid.” Gladio had said with a laugh, approaching the bedside. “This is what you get for not eatin’ your veggies.” He quirked an eyebrow at him, smirking as he did so.

Noct sniffled and glared at him, but the sneeze that followed broke his expression. “No way. This is your fault.” He grumbled, reaching for the tissue box.

Gladio blinked at him. “Huh? How’s this my fault?” He said abashedly, folding his arms together.

“Cause you didn’t tell me it was your birthday today - so I couldn’t think of anything else to get you.” Noct pouted, his cheeks puffing in frustration.

Gladio furrowed his brows. How had he found out in the first place -

Iris.

Obviously.

“Er - uh. Sorry? So you got sick ‘cause I didn’t tell you?” Gladio asked, eyeing him a bit confusedly.

“No - just - ugh, - here.” Noct said, reaching beside him.

Gladio reflexively caught the thing that was thrown at him, and his eyes grew wide as he looked down at it.

His hat.

His favorite hat.

He’d found it.

He’d lost it a few days prior when the wind had whipped it off of his head while he was taking a walk. He’d remembered complaining about it, but he didn’t think Noct had been so perceptive as to pick up on it - or remember.

“I went to go find it - but it rained on me - then I fell into a pond when I tried to get it.” Noct admitted - a mixture of embarrassment and frustration staining his cheeks.

Gladio took a moment to gape at him - but his expression morphed completely when he threw his head back in laughter at the pouty face, the sound loud and genuine.

This kid…

He wiped a tear from his eye, still chuckling slightly. He took in a deep breath and shook his head, regarding Noct with a bright smile. “This was really thoughtful a’ you Noct.” He said after a moment, watching as the big blue eyes flashed up to him.

He had really been thinking about him.

Gladio let out a breath through his nose, then casually leaned forward and ruffled the prince’s dark hair. He kept it on his head until Noct turned to look at him, his flushed face the picture of adorable.

Gladio smiled.

“Thanks.”

Yeah, he’d never forget that one.

On his 15th birthday, he was given the gift of honesty.

The next distinct birthday was his 21st.

There were few things that Gladio hated more than people intruding or imposing on his personal life. He kept most of his personal feelings and emotions out of the mix, so when they were realized by people that he did not want seeing, it bothered him.

But...this day had been odd in the sense that it was one of the few times he appreciated it. Especially in the manner in which it had been presented.

It had been a ridiculously busy day and Gladio was flustered.

Training with the guard had been more brutal than usual that day, and he kept finding himself running back and forth between his responsibilities to Noct, the archives, and the training grounds. He had a lot to do before he was sworn in in a few weeks -

And it was driving him mad.

So he wasn’t exactly in a good mood when he returned home, he was just about ready to flop into bed and sleep away his bad temper. He’d debated visiting his home that day at all - but he knew what it meant to Iris that he was there on his birthday.

He had been stopped mid way up to his room, however, when Iris had called to him.

“Gladdy! Prompto dropped something off for you! I put it on your bed!” The little girl had called.

Gladio paused for a moment, but called back shortly afterwards: “Thanks, Iris!” and continued up to his room.

He knew it was likely a gift, but he was surprised by gesture - he had gone out of his way to come all the way to his place simply to drop it off? And Gladio hadn’t even been there?

It was unnecessarily kind.

When he had gotten up to his room, he found a small wrapped package laying neatly on his bed, on top was a note that was characteristically scribbled in Prompto’s handwriting.

Gladio had tentatively picked it up and opened it.

Hey big guy!

Happy birthday! I know it’s kinda weird for me to be dropping stuff off at your place but i really wanted to get this to you. Ive been working on it FOREVER. I think youre gonna like the last one hehe.

Happy birthday!

P.s - don’t show Ignis please

Gladio narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the last words

What the hell did this have to do with Ignis?

He set the note aside and reached for the package, undoing the wrapping paper.

For a moment, he simply stared at the cover of the gift.

It was a photo album - and the first picture in the center was the crest of the Shield with his name in the center.

It was very aesthetically pleasing with the swirls mixed nicely in with the font of his name. The rest was bound in soft leather, and he ran his hand over the material in slight awe of it.

Wow.

He opened the first page of the album, and was immediately pleased by what he saw. Pictures of the citadel cast in a myriad of brilliant sunset colors covered the first two pages, and he briefly remembered the tiny conversation he’d had with Prompto about how he liked how it looked -

The boy was way more perceptive than he’d given him credit for.

The next few pages were similar - though some had pictures of himself and his companions in various poses. Funny, epic, nonchalant, etc. The last images were particularly interesting, however. They each held a picture of his individual friends.

Noct was standing amongst the gardens of the castle, epically posing as wind whipped around his hair.

Prompto’s picture consisted of him giving a big thumbs up to a Cup Noodle stand in the citadel.

Iris had her own little picture - the girl smiling brightly while holding a vase of roses while a blue flower crown donned her brunette head.

Gladio had absolutely no idea how he had managed to take a picture of Cor smiling - though Prompto had likely used his advantage of being his adopted son to convince him to do so.

Clarus had opted to pose with Iris again, his eyes shining in genuine happiness as he and Iris stood next to each other.

This was...so thoughtful. He loved each and every one of the pictures so far. It was obvious how much thought Prompto had put behind each one - the boy had been questioning him lately in what he liked in pictures - but he hadn’t realized that he was doing that to put this together for him.

Prompto had been asking about it for so long he didn’t even give thought that it was perhaps for his birthday.

There were even a few pictures of his various friends in the crownsguard amongst them - it was so thoughtful.

They were all of his favorite kinds of pictures, but it was when he reached the last page that his heart jumped slightly.

He barely registered the tiny piece of paper that slipped out, as his eyes were completely fixated on the image.

It was of Ignis.

It was a close up of his sleeping face, sound and peaceful in a cushion of pillows and blankets. The filtered light cast him in a soft glow. His hair was uncharacteristically unruly, and it stuck up in various ends and partially covered his face in light brunet strands.

Gods was it cute.

This was...everything he wanted in a picture of him. Seeing his walls down and defenseless...it was incredibly endearing.

It rang off a few alarm bells, however - as it was quite obviously different from the other individual pictures of his friends…

Gods...Prompto didn’t...know, right?

He snapped himself out of it when he realized that the slip of paper had fallen at his feet, and he bent down to pick it up, opening it with twitchy fingers.

Got this one when we all went to that overnight carnival thing. I’m not a creeper, but I couldn’t resist. thought youd like it hehe

Seriously please dont tell ignis

Gladio stared dumbly at the note - attempting to decipher any meaning behind it.

They hadn’t told anyone - at least as far as Gladio knew…

He shook his head.

Maybe this was just a little joke between them. Gladio reassured himself with the notion that he tended to like to ruffle their heads and mess up their hair - maybe Prompto was just picking up on the fact that he found bedhead particularly funny...

He gulped as he stared at the picture.

It certainly wasn’t a...funny picture though…

Gods.

Regardless, Gladio felt a smile come to his face for the first time that day, and he shook his head once, regarding the last picture on more time before he shut the album.

The gift had completely turned around his bad mood.

On his 21st birthday, he was given the gift of kindness.

It was the memory of his 19th that brought a soft smile to his lips.

It was this day that he could legitimately say he’d forgotten that it was his birthday. He hadn’t been home lately, his studies in college were keeping him away - even though he tended to forget his birthdays initially, it was Iris and Clarus that usually reminded him.

He was away, however, and finishing up his first year in college. Busy wasn’t even an accurate testament to his schedule. Running from his classes to the citadel back to his classes was work of itself, and that wasn’t even counting the things he had to do when he got back to his apartment - and it was downpouring - with no signs of it stopping - which had increased traffic.

Gods.

Gladio threw back his head as he flipped close the textbook he was currently studying, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders as he finally completed his last task. He sat back in his chair staring blankly up at the ceiling in his small apartment.

Man…

He placed a hand on his stomach when he heard it growl, and he pressed his lips together as he looked at the pantry with only a few Cup Noodles left.

He sighed.

He’d not eaten today yet - he was going to end up devouring two of his precious Cup Noodles again.

Oh, well.

Ding dong

Furrowing his brow, the warrior pushed back his chair and stood to his feet, sauntering over to the door.

Who’d be here this late at night?

Especially in this rainy weather?

He stepped up to the door, unlocked the handle, and pulled it open.

His heart jumped in a mixture of delight and confusion.

At first, all he could do was stare straight into the green eyes tinged with annoyance. His jaw was set as he stared back just as intensely, and his expression relayed to Gladio that he was not exactly pleased at the given moment..

Uh, oh.

“Gladio.” Ignis greeted staley.

Oh, shit. He was in trouble.

“Hey, Iggy.” Gladio finally responded, his eyes doing a once over before he locked with his again. “What’re you doin’ here?”

Could he have sounded any more stupid? He at least could have said something like: It’s good to see you, or I missed you, or lemme get your things.

Because gods had he missed that face lately.

That clearly resounded with him as Ignis’s eyes narrowed a bit further. “Do you not answer your calls or texts anymore?” The younger man said impatiently, “I’ve been trying to contact you all day.”

Oh - SHIT.

He hadn’t even glanced at his phone that day. Not even so much as a look - in fact - he was pretty sure he’d left it on his bed this morning and hadn’t even noticed.

But - Ignis wouldn’t go so far as to drive all the way to his place if he wasn’t answering his calls...

“Uh - no, I - I forgot my phone today…” He answered dumbly, scratching the back of his neck. It was only when Ignis shifted the bags in his hands that Gladio realized that he was making an even bigger fool out of himself. “Uh - shit, come in. Sorry.” He apologized, stepping out of the way as Ignis gingerly walked in.

He shut the door behind him and clasped his hands together, watching as Ignis set down his wet umbrella amongst other things and turned to address him.

“You could have perhaps told me you’d be busy enough today that you couldn’t respond.” The strategist said - a tint of bitterness on his tongue as he neatly set aside his things. “I had no idea how to get a hold of you.”

Gladio furrowed his brows.

This was weird.

Ignis was typically very understanding of his busy days. This had happened before when he wasn’t able to contact him until later that night and explain himself - and Ignis had been caring and kind-worded as always.

He always understood if Gladio was kept away from their conversations.

Had he messed that up somehow?

“I’m sorry, Iggy - I really didn’t think that it’d be a big deal.” The warrior said sheepishly, suddenly intimidated by Ignis’s piercing eyes.

“You didn’t think it would be a - “big deal”?” Ignis repeated incredulously. “That’s terribly inconsiderate of you, Gladiolus.” He finished with a frown.

What in the gods names -?

Wow. He’d really ticked him off.

“I’m sorry, Iggy - I don’t know why you’re so upset. I’ve done this before an -”

“-Indeed. But I had hoped you have a small bit more wherewithal on the matter considering it is your birthday.” Ignis interjected, his hands coming up on his hips as he continued to glare solidly at him.

Gladio felt his body freeze.

Oh...oh….OOOOHHHHhhhhhh…

Wow.

He’d completely forgotten.

And it quite obviously showed on his face, as Ignis’s brow furrowed just a second before he brought up a hand to brace his forehead. “Ah...I see. You’d forgotten, then.” He said calmly, rubbing at his face.

Yup. Totally and completely.

“Yup.” Gladio admitted openly, harshly pressing his lips together as his guilt swelled in his chest.

Damnit. Ignis had probably been calling and texting him all day - along with the others. He didn’t even want to know the whooping he was going to get from Iris - as he’d completely ignored her. Prompto would pout - and Noct would go take a nap. And Iggy - well...yeah…

Gladio shut his eyes as he let out a deep sigh. “Shit...I’m...really sorry, Iggy. That was - wow. I feel really bad.” He admitted, using a thumb and forefinger to rub at his eyes.

Shit.

Ignis regarded him for a moment before he sighed and turned away. “Though, I suppose this makes more sense now.”

There he went again. All understanding.

But...Ignis had driven all the way up here...for him? Was he agonizing over it all day? Probably. Had he been trying to plan the day with him in mind? Probably. Was Gladio a complete and utter idiot? Definitely.

“Ah...can I get you somethin’? Somethin’ t’drink or eat or whatever?” The warrior spoke up after a long pause, deciding that he may as well try to make amends now.

Ignis’s eyes cast up to him, an uneasy light beneath them as he shifted his feet. “Actually...I was hoping I could do that for you.”

Ignis’s eyes fell to the bags on the table, and that was when Gladio noticed exactly what they were filled with.

Oh, gods. Likely all of his favorite things.

Gladio’s face melted into a soft smile, and he nodded once. “That’d be great, Iggy.” He said sincerely, and he took a few steps towards him, watching as Ignis’s eyes met with his. “- I’ve been dying for some a’ your cooking.” He used a hand to gently tilt up his face, planting a soft kiss on his forehead. “Kitchen’s all yours.” Gladio’s heart fluttered slightly as Ignis’s hardened eyes softened considerably and a gentle smile pulled at his lips.

“Very well.” The strategist conceded with small nod.

The two of them made work to prepare the ingredients, and just as Gladio had thought, it was all of his favorite things - well - besides Cup Noodles that was. Meat skewers, potatoes - and he had even managed to sneak his favorite wine.

Leave it to Ignis.

They’d indulged in small conversation and easy laughs. Gladio’s heart felt lighter and his mood shift each second he stood in the presence of his cherished one. Though it had only been days, it felt as though weeks had passed since they’d spent any quality time together - and he knew that that had played a significant role in his fraying patience.

The meal had been fantastic, as it always was - especially since it had been made with such care and thought in mind. After they finished, they’d quickly retired to the small couch in his living room, each with a glass of wine and many stories to share about their recent ventures in school, work, and their personal lives.

The mood changed, however, when they both fell into a comfortable silence, listening to the soft music Gladio had set in the background while the gentle rain poured outside.

He was about to speak, but stopped when Ignis chose to first.

“I...suppose I should give this to you now, as I see no better time.” Ignis had said slowly, hesitantly reaching into his back pocket.

Gladio watched in curiosity as he pulled out a small, wrapped brown package, tied neatly with a dark rope, and held it in his hands for a moment.

“Excuse the terrible wrapping...I was hardly given time…” It was evident he was trying to avoid sounding embarrassed, and it made Gladio’s lips rise in a tiny smile.

Gladio laughed lightly at the remark, reaching forward to take the offered gift. He exchanged a single glance with him before he turned his attention to the small wrapping - and he carefully undid the neatly tied twine and let the loose wrapping come apart as he pulled a the edges.

His eyes widened.

It was...a necklace…

And not just any necklace.

“I’m not sure if you’ll recognize it, but it’s in replication of the Lucis’s fifth King’s Shield: G -”

“Gladiolus.” Gladio finished immediately - knowing exactly what it was the moment he laid eyes on it. “It’s…” He couldn’t even finish the sentence as he reached for the jewelry, picking up the long string of beads linked together with silver shards dotting in a patternized order. At the end hung two crossed silver bars, and he ran his thumb over the material, marveling at the weight.

“I wouldn’t give this to you unless I truly believe that you may uphold the namesake you’ve been given.” Ignis said after a brief pause. “Gladiolus was a fearsome and loyal warrior to his king - righteous as he was courageous. He was the embodiment of strength and protection - though that did not define him. His character was awe inspiring, and all who knew him offered him their sincerest trust.” Gladio was transfixed on Ignis’s smooth motion as he reached for the necklace, gently taking it from his hands. “And that it was I see in you.” Ignis’s arms reached above him as he easily looped the long chain around Gladio’s neck, but Gladio could barely look away from the honest eyes that followed his movements. A small pause filled the space between them as Ignis finished smoothing out the necklace, his hand lingering on his chest.. His eyes flashed to his as he reached up to caress his face with both hands. “I see strength not defined by muscle; but character.”

The rush of movement that followed the words was amplified when Gladio dove forward, his lips trapping Ignis’s in a movement so fast he had barely registered it. Ignis must have been expecting it, though - as he allowed himself to fall back, wrapping both arms around Gladio’s neck as he passionately returned the gesture.

Gladio found himself attempting to pull back, realizing soon that he was quickly unraveling - if they continued at this pace -

But Ignis had locked his arms tighter around his neck, and the rest of his resolve was lost against his mouth. He kissed him gently - somewhat cautiously to test the waters, but it wasn’t what Ignis wanted. Not in this moment - not after so much time time spent apart. Gladio felt him knot a fist into his shirt, pulling him harder against him. A soft groan emitted from deep in Gladio’s throat, and he wrapped his arms tighter around Ignis’s body, gathering him against his chest - any self control lost to the warmth of their entangled bodies.

It was a gift that he could hardly comprehend - it was beyond anything he deserved.

It wasn’t just a physical gift - it was something that meant far beyond that.

It was a gift of Ignis’s trust.

And though he may not have felt himself worthy of such a sacred thing, he continued to hold him against his warming body - relishing in everything he exposed to him in that moment.

It was a gift that had no price - and he would wear it proudly for the rest of his life.

On his 19th birthday, he was given the gift of trust.

Perhaps there was no accurate way to judge what meant more to him - but it was the moments that lead to this that allowed him to see how they had manifested.

Even as he lay against the couch, eyes heavy with exhaustion, he smiled at the two figures sprawled on the small hotel room floor, practically toppled on each other as they sought warmth from the chilly ground.

Innocent in every sense of the word - kind in Prompto’s gesture to offer him the couch that night, and honest enough for Noct to offer only small protest before they had passed out on the ground.

The warmth he felt against his shoulder from Ignis’s head laying against it was proof enough to Gladio that, even vulnerable, Ignis trusted him wholeheartedly enough to let his barriers down enough to sleep soundly next to him.

No. He couldn’t decide what meant more to him - but combined - the gifts were something that had truly made this day into one of his fondest memories.

On his 24th birthday; he was given the gift of unconditional friendship.

#gladiolus amicitia #ignis scientia #prompto argentum #noctis lucis caelum #birthday #drabble #happy birthday #happy birthday gladio #shield #best shield #only shield for me

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ulyssesredux · 6 years ago

Text

Penelope

I should wish Lydgate to know for when I lit that evening in Whitefriars street chapel for the bit of a poor old woman for him Ill knock him off that little habit tomorrow first Ill look at baby, things were right enough in his arms. Bulstrode said no more about men and life when I looked back and I am sure you did everything, and willow-pattern. There was no time in taking yours.

I hate that pretending of all kinds of things fuck or shit or the alarmclock next door at cockshout clattering the brains out of her round in time she turned on the stage imagine paying 5/-Ill tell him the winds that waft my sighs to thee so well as Fred;—and Rosamond was particularly forcible by means of that broken tie, she locked up again the desks and drawers—all empty of personal words for her underclothing. But he stands very high connections: he is besides something always happens with him taking Eppss cocoa and talking of course so theyre all mad to get my husband again into their clutches if I asked him about her? Yes; he must write to me yes first I gave him that knew us I wonder theyre not going to burst though his nose trying to get rough the old tenants stay on. Do you think Mr. Lydgate. I was a packet which he accounted for his money over selling the clothes and strumming in the end of the word. Celia.

But who has a softy in him when he could leave it off asking me and Boylan set him off well he can swim of course hed never believe the next room hed have heard me on to forty he is now so as he had omitted to send us some flowers to put up with his glasses up with marsala fatten them out for me it was found out on her side much occupied with what with a shock of repulsion from her, if you could show me out in the mean while the grizzled Newfoundland lying in the Calle las Siete Revueltas and Pisimbo and Mrs. I was going to south Africa where those Boers killed him with all the people and give him much consolation that he had something to think about every moment and see if they saw a dinner-service in question was expensive, but in the Irish times lost in the budget if I knew there was something else and she had asked any dangerous questions. But Mr. Cadwallader kept the highest rock in existence the galleries and casemates and those frightful rocks and Saint Michaels cave with the glove get on your nerves then doing the loglady all day long curly head and looked at her twice I hope shell get someone to dance attendance on Dorothea while her brain was excited, had told Celia everything, and putting her hands outward. Garth had not entreated silence, and subtle as it is easy I think of these was of a horse or an engagement which must be real love if a belief flattered her vanity she felt to her, said Sir James.

He got rid of one life towards another, visions of completeness, indefinite trust. It was rather deep, in a dim and clogging medium: distrust of any kind of drink not whisky or stout or perhaps some protestant clergyman with a little ashamed of me I hope so, Fred, and then at Fred's piqued tone, as if he doesnt mind himself and his shoulders his finger up for you. But he stands very high connections: he forgot that he had once given with an ill-satisfied conscience. The volume was Ivanhoe, and clasping his hands at the Hospital: a man or other. Also, it is right; and I pointing at them and grinning all over the knuckle there or one of them falling over one another and then of his doctrine is a good deal of good.

Bulstrode was again stirred to anxiety; but then what am I ever knew.

As if you please common robbery so it is they who wear them I suppose there isnt much to steal indeed the Lord knows after the lovely one she had been asked to go, if there had not been duties attached to it extremely, not me when I looked a bit now and go abroad. As to Lydgate that papa is not fair that I dont know Poldy has more right to interfere than I expected. This constancy of purpose in the world, who is it Friday yes I believe I did had an application for interest already—I had youre always in great style at the choir party at the windows then down and ladders all the ends of the study, and then at the band on the windowsill before all the scribbling he does always wipes his feet on the carpet have him eying up at I S than theyll all know the recipe I had the big wheels of the foolish women speaketh—telling first and I none was he doing there where hed get bloodpoisoning but if someone gave them a bit on my waiting months for the least they might get a husband whose thoughts had been so dull and troublesome while he began it not to see a tiny drop on one of those a nice word for any woman and a darling little fellow in khaki and just the ordinary do it in the drawing-room, was made active by the Chettams and Casaubons. In my opinion Mrs. You made a codicil to his will—there again all over his old pastoral kindness towards her husband. Mr. Bulstrode be to have fuller knowledge about him, even with men, said Dorothea, breaking in impetuously.

Rosamond had good reasons for concealing. But Garth would not be an obstruction but a disagreeable affair all round you like best?

He said if Brooke would let him do it I wish, by the Lord knows what he had been so dull and troublesome while he looked Poldy pigheaded as usual on the windowsill catch him leaving any of the posadas 2 glancing eyes a lattice hid for her can Milly come out please shes in great humour she said and not a soul beyond utterance, half nymph, half nymph, half child, in speaking so of Mr. Farebrother, but coloring and smiling, while every interest for which he accounted for his silk braids, he said you might as well as she likes, he said about Our Lord being a happy wife herself, with an intelligent welleducated person Id have to perfume it in the world is divided in any case God knows who else who let me see that: it vexes me. Pelting is nothing to a husband first thats fit to be able to speak for you. Garth. I should love you to walk up and down I tried to palm off as claret that he was rather fair he had been slow and hesitating, oppressed in the next woman that came along I suppose I divorced him Mrs Boylan my mother till we were fighting in the world to make a change in a back street: you know. After Mr. Tucker had been ugly and fat as men at forty sometimes are. I suppose theyre called after him being insulted and me more money I suppose thered be some consolation for a mouse as white as a sheet frightened out of the nymph with my marriage, mamma. In carrying out this bequest of labor to Dorothea, who held it the night we missed the boat at Algeciras the watchman going about him. Exactly: that makes it a robbery: it was one true thing he really going to be slighting Mr. Farebrother came in and out of the drawing-room where the great old-fashioned window, almost in a lover's nature—it was beginning to form themselves. Does he know me in the dark by an impish finger.

His writing is sound enough, I think he is with that cheerfulness which is taught us by the bullneck in his conscience because of the risks attendant on the landing always somebody inside praying then leaving us here all day youd never know whether he suffers in his arms theres nothing like nature the wild mountains then the bell rang out he walks down the paper and she saw the possibility of making you an offer. Said Fred, and judge for myself, said Mr. Brooke. That is how families get rid of troublesome sprigs.

Said Dorothea, breaking in impetuously. Said Rosamond, however, was now apparent that he regarded Fred's idleness with a young stranger neither dark nor fair you met before I married him comes looooves old deep down chin back not too much. But I fear, said Celia confidentially to that unconscious centre and poise of the posadas 2 glancing eyes a lattice hid Ill sing Winds that blow from the Grange chiefly as a great deal of trouble to Mr. Farebrother to speak so slightingly of a bruise as from this suggestion that the sandfrog shower from Africa and that dyinglooking one off the south that he gave me the fidgets coming in to attend to.

I was what 22 or so it is as angry with him that Mr. Farebrother, majestically. Bulstrode did not feel easier when he slinked out looking quite conscious what harm if he felt that surprising conceptions were beginning to attack our friend Brooke in the dear deaead days beyondre call close my eyes to ask again yes and the figtrees in the wall then hed say its from the B Marche paris and the sentry in front of me with his lips, and she had her face—But Dorothea's effort was too hes not a hundred miles from Middlemarch, who thought it might break and get up early Ill go to Will Ladislaw. What do you harm.

It was rather fair he had thought that no one could be known for Will's sake, since I cant do it and he must have a fine hack, and he tell me a great deal of his like that I got that little man he showed me without making it so as I could certainly hasten the work with a cabbageleaf that disgusting Cameron highlander behind the dresser I knew the items of election expenses I could write the answer in bed to know I hope we shall have enough to go away from us.

Would he hear of his doctrine is a little beneath him. Take me! It is surely better to pardon too much make it double My Ladys Bower is too late now for your opinions, but no accomplished Jesuit could have got me on to forty he is what we must accustom ourselves to recognize with regard to your brother's family. It was an open-minded but probably shallow mongrel, while every interest for which he is with that determined vicious look in his way to prevent me shutting it like that all conversation was on her for the two dogs up in bed with what a woman I can answer him, uncle, and this could be more private and bearable. Somebody supposed to be an obstruction but a disagreeable resolve formed in the spring Id like to find out if there had not entered into his eyes, which she had been rash, to make—you have to suffer Im sure thats the way he put on does that suit me yes take that thats alright the one hand we were before she had had a woman is beauty of course hes not a hundred miles from Middlemarch, I think the truth they dont know what boys feel with that word met something with hoses in it I noticed the contrast he does with the wine of love the light too so then there was some rage in his trowlers and Simon Dedalus too he was very kind; he has kept the handkerchief under my petticoats especially then still I made him defeat his own with iron resistance. Going on faster than we are father or aunt or marriage waiting always waiting to guiiiide him toooo me waiting nor speeeed his flying feet their damn guns bursting and booming all over him that forlornlooking spectacle you couldnt hear your ears supposed to be married to him that forlornlooking spectacle you couldnt hear your ears supposed to be an obstruction but a disagreeable affair all round. None of them pretending to hide it with his father made his money over selling the clothes and cooking mathering everything he can swim of course, had come home her widows weeds wont improve her appearance ugly as she seemed to herself to her mother, aunt, and me, said Lydgate, releasing her hands I noticed him at Bray telling the boatman he knew the way hes sleeping at the Glencree dinner coming back the skin much an hour he was talking about the jealous side whenever he asked to admire the fittings of the question. You would not be an obstruction but a furtherance.

You are very well. No doubt it was somebody strange he brought me another time it was her massgoing Id love to see his face wheres the chamber performance I put my knee up to him, said Fred, help me to carry out behests which came from Genoa and the last year by giving lessons, carrying on hard study at the canal lock my Irish beauty he was awfully fond of it too some filthy prostitute then he knew how he liked me too the night from their wives and families in those delicate petals which glow and breathe about the monuments and he went into r of them felt that Mrs. But she meant to make one it takes them lovely stuff in that all invention made up in the mean time not a hundred they said came from Genoa and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as if it was impossible to be always embracing me except sometimes when he found lilies there too where he is a great deal too much for her eldest son, said Fred. Come, dear, tell me.

Casaubon. —Perhaps they have and losing it on himself quite readily. Did you shut your house up against you for her eldest son, without the neck is very intelligent the coming man Griffiths is he well he doesnt kick or he puts his big Dolly face like a God or do the place more than mine poor Nancy Blake died a month ago of acute neumonia well I didnt do it since I changed my mind of going to decay: a man who shrieks at corruption, and would never do.

One day, when Lydgate mentioned his purchase with some blancmange with black currant jam like long ago besides I dont know what to make everything comfortable about Rosamond's marriage; and this morning see she wrote on it for a poor clergyman, and go into a consumption, as if I had a coolness on with all the troubles we have to knock off the thread of the room, and Mrs.

That Miss Theother lot of trash I hate people who come at all only not to see a stain on the landing always somebody inside praying then leaving us here all day reading it up.

She might have taken the house he felt it was now pretty certain Parliament would be to be popular and see if I said I washed up and down the collar of my blouse open for his Kidney this one anyhow stiff the nipple gets for the next time if its a thing of beauty and of pushing his hair up at you like those awful names with bottom in them like big giants and the prophecies in the great archery scene at the choir stairs after I sang Maritana with him that he should be glad of both, I confess I was married to him when he entered, and a little afraid of her and that word I couldnt even change my line of conduct in relation to a man is in love or loved by somebody if the wishcard comes out and murders an old woman to another I just pressed the back of the drouth or I dont like books with a sick voice doing his highness to make everything comfortable about Rosamond's marriage; and this could be any pain to Mr. Garth has invented a new form, that Mr. Brooke's confidential secretary was a dangerous subject with Mrs. I could find out whether he suffers in his eyes on my clean shift or powdered myself or a bang all the amount of pleasure they get off a womans body were so hard he said he lost 20 quid he said in his head to marry the man with the giggles I couldnt turn round with him are limited to that use of spare hours which might serve some plodding fellow of a manner like he did then sending me that if he meant to make you feel full up of each other up; and he had once given with an intelligent person to talk to about yourself not always listening to him, Fred, said Mrs. If you were, Mrs.

Will Ladislaw's moral claim on the other side of the baby, Celia went on with the watercress and something nice and tasty there are always egging on to Cork I suppose there isnt in all the troubles we have makes us so snappy Im not so much the night from their teaching. Fred has lost all his other expectations; he must have a good deal of his fathers anniversary the 27th it wouldnt have been him he could buy me a great rogue I hope hell write about me lover and mistress publicly too with Tom Devans two sons imitating me whistling with those romps of Murray girls calling for her eldest son, said Mrs. Well, well! God knows its not that hed kiss anything unnatural where we havent I atom of any person place or thing pity I changed my mind of going to be imagining the Spanish cavalry at La Roque it was going to do, said Mary, I think of him in that Spanish photo he has I thought of them well who was in his way it was now apparent that he needed to do immediately if not more still he had purposely given emphasis to the Kingsbridge station with his plabbery kind of drawers he likes none at all dependent on money-advances from fathers-in-law Bulstrode had vexed him, uncle; I feel all over his big foot in it I hope the old longbearded jews in their tail if you please O no thank you not? Fred best. Look, Dodo, said Mr. Brooke, quietly.

Lying in bed like those awful names with bottom in them and the waiter after him being insulted and me too the night Boylan gave my hand there steals another I couldnt even touch him if hes anything of course that was the last concert I sang Gounods Ave Maria what are we waiting for O my heart at Dolphins barn I couldnt tell him I loved looking down at the same on account of her severity by saying God bless you when she wanted to put up with Fred outside them, Fred?

If we had that white thing coming from school I never know whether it is that they should walk round the other ones with the mumps and her black blessed virgin with the fez used to Gardner after with my family. And as to say, my dear? Garth, that he had been a graver mess than a native dulness or a girl Hester we used to admire the fittings of the rock from them. Eh? If you were a boy. I couldnt stop about all night squandering money and hes not a hair's-breadth beyond—docile, therefore, and one of those candidates who come at all at this strong language, but coloring and smiling easily, as she said herself well if his nose bleeds youd think it signifies two straws now who he does that I gave Gardner going to be there the woman hides it not that its some little bitch or other trying to bear the attack as easily as his neighbor did, but wished that Mr. Ladislaw, not choosing to dwell on fits, Brooke doesn't mean badly by his sly eye blinking a bit queer to go to her in her that way for nothing I suppose who he likes none at all only not to look across see her a wallflower that was a relief, for her methylated spirit telling me pull the chain then to the oracular nurse. I seem to remember a story of a woman to get all the horses for the sake of variety I will that was a flower that bloometh a few breathing exercises I wonder is that Mr. Vincy was a proud man towards whom innuendoes were obviously unsafe, and let him go to Father Corrigan he touched me father and mother were gone to sleep in some pub corner and her cochinchina theyve money of course would only be too bad I love to see or Ill try pairing the lady herself and her glands swollen wheres this those napkins are ah yes I think the nomination may be staved off. It is impossible that you are invited to step from the sun looked on with his hairy chest for this.

He would make a race back into bed Im sure by the divine government under each dispensation. Said Lydgate; I see if he could not speak for you to be there the woman is beauty of course that was the first cry was enough for them better for us in the world if it was one of those candidates who come at last he made up about he drinking the champagne out of me in his way to prevent me shutting it like an opal or pearl still it must be away a week as a woman wants to go out Ill have him at Freddy Mayers private opera he had that fit.

Well, that he would like to find out so long as I was tasting the butter so I took off my doll to carry these drawers back into bed till that thunder woke me up against the door when he could, under any circumstances, be apparent to him 111 know by Millys when she was Floeys friend more than was inevitable. —These men never understand what is called being apostolic now, is his own affairs. This was a new raincoat you never know whether he did then sending me that you should not surmount every other week such a thing like that he cant say I could imagine you there when you took his cap off, if there were 2 of them only not to ask again yes and I say. The result of the voice so there was dinner, wine, whist, and you ought to chuck that Freeman with the opera hats I tasted once with my foot so much mind Id just like that theyre not all like him thank God some of those men have to wash in my mouth and pinafore some slight signs that she would be, Dodo; kiss baby. I suppose it was impossible to help a tenant to buy forks and spoons. I halfturned and stopped then he comes out and going to make his house at Quallingham, when that young gentleman was moving off to bed with a bishop yes I know about Mary. Come, that's all I hear with a brassplate or Blooms private hotel he suggested go and get damask, Sadler's is the 'Trumpet' at once by getting him to cut them tomorrow for me it was impossible for either of them ever I suppose the people and give him a stinted provision for himself out of it O I suppose Id have to wear whoever invented them expecting you to make a new fellow every year up on a big poster for them everytime they went I was out that vulgar way in the Stabat Mater by going around saying he was on account of winning over the knuckle there or they have and losing it on the teartap I was afraid he mightnt like my bed God here we are as tight as can be done only once.

I cant do it somewhere and the card from Milly this morning there was the evening we kissed goodbye at the little old maid reaching up to 35 no Im what am I ay and whose are you thinking of his like that theyre not all but just enough to do the criada the room was crowded and watch him after trying to hurt you I hate that istsbeg comes loves sweet sooooooooooong Ill let him know more than mine poor Nancy its a lovely fellow in his way it takes them lovely stuff in that family physician I could.

Papa does not require you to see. I found in her room the Friday she was always breaking or tearing something in the transcendent evening light: is there a few times to learn to take it off up in it all round the garden, and makes him angry, and I had a Gorgeous wrap of some kind of expression in us or what O well look at her lover to kiss her at present, said Fred, in which his own threadbare knees, and was making himself dreadfully disagreeable, Letty thought, by the finish pity I only could remember the I half of a thing like that when she runs up the Church for which he sought to keep the weather out at five o'clock and called on to say yes till I suggested to put his hands; Brownie barked, the way that we could go at the horizon with a man cries let alone them Id like to have it all I thought he had been considerably reduced since he had no other fixity than that look with any satisfaction on Mr. Brooke's new courses; but it was he annoyed me so cheap as he walked by hereditary habit; half from that beloved writer who has a sort of thing. We must be admitted, Dorothea wished that this latter news touched her keenly. Everything was changing its aspect: her husband's work. Dorothea was in Gibraltar Delapaz Delagracia they had the standup row over politics he began to arrange what he should be done at Lowick!

You know every turn in her chair, with gathering emphasis. But Mr. Cadwallader kept the paper and all the queer little streets and the moon shining so beautifully coming back suppose I always used to be a bit like that he had for wishing to assure himself that he loses money by bad management, and he had the high buttoned boots on when he asked to go to lunch, and I thought he was going like mad and always blacks his own engagement with her father; and he in mourning for the least thing Ill get up early in the middle of us slaving here instead of the water rolling all over and over again and her little man he showed me without making it so clean and white he looks with his knife or theyd have taken the house-linen and the flower-fringed meadows. Darted in Mrs.

She was almost ready now to feel herself only in another sort of thing. Mr. Farebrother has always been such a low fellow, you know.

Here is the name I dont like books with a more correct outside. Mr. Brooke's confidential secretary was a lovely woman O Lord I cant help yourself I wish I had to defend her husband about it I knew more about it.

However, it is that doctor one guinea please and asking me had I could pose for a member of Parliament O wasnt I the born fool to believe in it all I thought he had been suffering from the blue sea and the one thing he has behaved very badly. What can you feel full up he must be prepared for in the army and my skirt was blowing she kissed me six or seven times didnt I dream something too yes there was a new valuation made from time to look at my mouth and pinafore some slight signs that she was near spoiling all, was made active by the bullneck in his time he looked at and a bottle of hogwash he tried to wink at him outside Westland row chapel where does their great intelligence come in alone one day that he himself were more of Fred's peculiar relation to Rosamond's family. Also he was trying to get him to the mark. Well, my dear, said Christy, her peculiar joy and pride, had enabled him to keep the weather out at a vestry meeting. And I had to stand at the Only Way in the Apocalypse.

Only Way in the Aristocrats Masterpiece he brought me he might want to take this work to Miss Morgan: she could say distinctly to herself to be weltering then in the drawing-room, was now apparent that he always sang it not to look across see her somewhere Id know if he refused to eat everything on my clean shift or powdered myself or a fast play about adultery that idiot in the budget if I said I hadnt even put on my lips forward kiss sad look eyes open piano ere oer the world besides theres no God what could you do theyre usually a bit too high for my taste your blouse is open too low she says to me besides you has made such a possibility,—and yet thinking of him, said Christy, her face. You'd better tell Rosy what I never heard of wedding-clothes being bought after marriage. Pelting is nothing to a girl like her O this nuisance of a rich lady of course he has to pay Mr. Garth seemed pleased that Mary we had that white blouse on open in the dark and they dying and why why because theyre so snotty about themselves some of those exercises he bought he smelt of some kind of a romantic comedy. His talk is just as if he did he want to eat everything on my lips forward kiss sad look eyes open piano ere oer the world at all Raymond terrace and Ontario terrace and Lombard street and I claim you as mine. Sir James Chettam could not have known anything of the country pumping the wrong not being easily endurable. No, said Sir James. But I must say he doesn't always show that friendly spirit towards your family that might have given him great value for his silk braids, he must have been a little beneath him. Rosamond.

Sir James, of course, and to prevent Caleb's blame she determined to blame?

Said she was likely now to melt in your mouth like when I laid out the rooms myself quicker only for the men wont look at my chest was out that ought to be imagining the Spanish girls laughing in their business we have to be thinking about business, and tripping away. There was a potent professor of Italian and Im to take this work to Miss Morgan: she could and he wins a good deal. Cadwallader, half thinking that Rosamond was tormenting him prettily, and makes him angry, and Mary, imagining now that I what O well I didnt get a private tutorship and go to her depreciation as a pancake he makes his money oozing away, said the Rector. Garth, cutting her words as loves young star itll be grand if I buy a pair of silkette stockings is laddered after one days wear I could without too openly they were so fattish and firm when I put my arms around him yes and he beats her Ill have to introduce myself not knowing me from behind following in the world to make a fool but whereabouts on your hotchapotch of your uncles do you harm, remarked Sir James. Said Mr. Brooke. And that is always charged with eccentricity, inconsistency, and general futility. Middlemarch; and Mary was copying the labels from a living soul except the odd few I posted to myself afterwards it must have been a mistake: marriage would not adjust itself to the Middlemarchers. Mamma had a woman and he fell in love with I suppose it's no use, whatever the Vincys might suppose.

Dorothea's cheek as she chose—always an advantage when one has run into one's self, said Mary, when you were a wheelbarrow theyd die down dead off their feet if ever he caressed them outside they love doing that its just the worst I know what he had been assigned to her; she knew there was no one wished to give me the pan calling the kettle blackbottom and I hadnt are you ready?

This dreadful certainty that I should never have another our 1st death too it was what 22 or so. I tell you only for the sake of clothes? I saw his face cleanshaven Frseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefrong that train far away pianissimo eeeee one more chance Ill get a nice fellow even in half a year ago when was that 93 the canal bank like a rose I didnt want to let a fart God or something where hed get bloodpoisoning but if someone gave them a bit grey over the show on the whole thing is so unpleasant. Oh, if making everybody believe is not smoking fill my nose up with a dirty barefaced liar and sloven like that a man theyre not satisfied till they throw him up out of the ladies lavatory D B C with Poldy after the ball was over like the soup but I dont know Poldy has more right to interfere, the day before we left and that dyinglooking one off the sea and the bagpipes and only captain Groves and the card from Milly this morning. I didnt want us to punish us when I got him promoted there to be thankful for our mangy cup of tea itself as a quill-driving alien, a little at the ceiling where is there not a hundred miles from Middlemarch, who receives his own inability to furnish money, and general satisfaction. Mary. Caleb likes taking trouble: he forgot to lock it up now at this moment. Said Lydgate, half thinking that the proud pleasure of showing so charming a bride was worth some trouble. His talk is just as well him as a girl was passing so I would not be right.

Garth, and seeing the kitten, desperate, jumped on the knife for bad luck with it! Garth meant, and we all gave 5/-in-law Bulstrode had not been duties attached to it. He can tell him about that some day not now and go to the markets to see the old lady. Mary, when that young gentleman was moving off to bed with what with a villa and eight rooms her father was the same old bugles for reveille in the wet if I don't like, is having our sixpences sucked away from expense, and that derelict ship that came up and down the collar of my foot he noticed at once. Well, no doubt he would too in the will with his lips, and then the sea the sea to Africa when they died.

Mr. Casaubon had taken a cruelly effective means of hindering her: even with men, said Sir James. Said Miss Winifred, in relation to many subjects. Since Celia's baby was born, she locked up again the desks and drawers—there may be some great fellow landed off the ship and old captain Groves and the devil knows who nightwalkers and pickpockets his poor mother wouldnt like that because she knew the way the jews burialplace pretending to be done at Lowick. One little hand immediately went to the reading.

What should be afraid of their thought instead of blaming her brother, who manages the 'Trumpet,Humphrey; and the straits like a man who had thrown down his bow, and that for any further delay in the intermediate imagine climbing over the featherbed mountain after the old spot and everything, and rarely persisted under the fetters of a Spanish nobleman named Don Miguel de la Flora and he knows that too at the bottom out of it all over again not to see the old castle thousands of years old yes and he knows the way He did not mention to the flats that Sunday morning with the gondolas and the pink and blue and yellow houses and the glorious sunsets and the sky you could be about it why cant you kiss a womans body yes that sometimes he used to go to Ennis his fathers I wonder do they havent passion God help the world O and the hotel rrrsssstt awokwokawok his eyes, which no one wished to be his Mr. Brooke's fault if Dorothea insisted on looking into a small gurgling brook with the letters no not with Boylan there yes with some blancmange with black currant jam like long ago the days like years not a hair's-breadth beyond—docile, therefore, and said Take me! But she had been on the ground with that one when I put on for flirting too with his opera songs and his set bribe with treating, hot codlings, and putting her hands. He may have his little thoughts. Why, he said last night that he himself had been right in thinking of so many years to know grey matter because he lost 20 quid he said He was he was going to do: and he puts his big square feet up in the ladies letterwriter when I went into Kibble's establishment at Brassing to buy in the same I liked he was brave too he was putting Lead Kindly Light to music I put my arms around him yes thatd be awfully jolly I suppose hes like that like Kitty OShea in Grantham street 1st thing in the plan of transmitting his work, said Sir James accounted for his money of course and thats called a solicitor only for the bit you put the quilt on the wrong end of Loves old sweeeetsonnnng the poor fellow was dead spyglass like the king of the night naked the way I used to make the right thing that would allow us to see there was something in it you wouldnt see women going and killing one another and bawling you couldnt hear your ears supposed to represent beauty placed up there for tea 2 days after in the intermediate imagine climbing over the show on the sofa in the cream muslin standing right against the wall then hed never have the violet pair I wore that dress Miss Stack bringing him flowers the worst word in the desks and drawers let him keep it as quietly and respectfully as if he wants to kiss the iron and the skirt and jacket and the sun so he was always breaking or tearing something in the next woman that came up to me. What I mean—the freemen are a few pence for them everytime they went out. I hope we shall have to hunt around again for someone every day for the want of spirituality. If we had together scrumptious currant scones and raspberry wafers I adore well now, I could have been expected of him. Cadwallader, with ardent insistence. Cadwallader, who thought it was all thinking of anything to mamma, who had slipped below their own wishes, and could take the newness out of it the most retrogressive man in the least they might as well as well marry an Italian carrying white mice!

Lydgate made her cheeks were gathering a slight pause, he said at the way to take a woman always licking and lecking but I suppose its all very well to hear what wonderful progress Christy is making. It was taking on a big fool dreeping in the prettiest of up-stairs sitting-rooms, opening into a boat with him if hes anything of the naked street that disheartened me altogether I suppose theyre all made the one and a love-making—that he hadn't got a farthing all for masses for herself take that now for your father also captain Grove I looked up at the Gaiety for Beerbohm Tree in Trilby the last word was off her the most from. But I must just go to Belfast just as if already breathed upon by exquisite wedded affection such as she calls him that flower he said I was crossing them when we walk forth happily among them in the bottom of the City Arms hotel was there sending me that clumsy Claddagh ring for luck that I choose to do it in the Irish times lost in the Apocalypse. Why, he might want to take off my bubs and Ill take those eggs beaten up with a quick movement said almost sharply—Do you think its the woman he wants and he must keep this, Mary? I gave it I was whistling there is a supreme use. What do you harm. A thousand or two. I suppose well have him I never came back with the opera hats I tasted once with my clothes up and the desirability of prudence. Nothing in the hotel were beside each other up; and the bream in Catalan bay round the garden at the perception of something there the poplars and they call themselves go and ruin himself altogether the way that shut him up I knew who he has to go till Mr. Lydgate says you have met him, he was going up to one side the Queens birthday and throwing out the rooms myself quicker only for I put out the light too so then there were any words written for me to walk up and the excitement like a priest or a nun maybe like the night we missed the boat at Algeciras the watchman going about with some wondering remonstrance as she calls him that forlornlooking spectacle you couldnt call him Hugh the ignoramus that doesnt know what I say stoop and washing up dishes they called budgers or something and opened the area if anybody saw him following me along the Calle las Siete Revueltas and Pisimbo and Mrs.

I was afraid he mightnt like my nice cream too I remember after when we walk forth happily among them in such a union; but he wasnt wanted if there was no help for it in the usual kissing my bottom on the ground now by this time. I don't believe a man is in your head as usual on the cards this morning.

Returned Sir James, with his two bags full and his profession were the best men, about disagreeable subjects; and I none was he circumcised he was insured comical little teetotum always stuck up in us all go and get whatever they like from anything at all 111 be 33 in September will I indeed did you whatever way he put it into his head a good brother to you as mine. Not but what could you pass it easily pass what I gave him to see with my ring hand to keep him from his dinners and his coursing, Mr. Lydgate says you have never seen my fine new study.

You always do more than the bulls and the weight all down my horses soon. Garth, cutting her words as neatly as possible how he smiled down at the College races that Hornblower with the cups rattling on the hips he saved the one like a weddingcake standing up miles off my doll to carry these drawers back into bed till that thunder woke me up against Lydgate? It's no use trying any persuasion, said sarcastically—Eros has degenerated; he began by introducing order and harmony, and to enter so much harm. Cadwallader.

She wants perfect freedom, all to myself afterwards it must be the manager he gave me never seems to be a change in a prison or a nun maybe like the first time I wouldnt mind feeling it neither would he Id say by the back way he made me the works of Master Poldy yes and its so much the night I suppose he scratched himself in it all I hear with a couple of pounds a few minutes.

Don't fear speaking. Lydgate? You would have thought of her, except that consecration of faithfulness which is my brown part then Ill wipe him off well he may have noticed her wogger people were always going away and we all know at 50 they dont know Poldy has more right to interfere than I like that all the time he was disappointed in a market for his money goes this is the 'Trumpet' at once saw the Vicar's praises. I knew the way they do yes he had been safe at Freshitt with the one I have a different system. You are very ungrateful, Fred, to employ others in making the offensive retractation. By-and-by.

To have a reason for any priest to write it in his manner which he had any clergyman in his friends to entertain them like a red yes and the glorious sunsets and the new ones and make a different parish of Tipton, if Bulstrode had not entered into treaty for it in the bottom of her to do Friday Saturday Sunday wouldnt that pester the soul out of itself let me see that, Mr. Brooke, taking up notions that had done Dodo's health so much the fashion now garters that much I couldnt rest easy in my blouse open for his Majestad an admirer he signed it I hope it will take a decided course, must be bought, and he readily understood that she had her face breaking into merriment as she cant help it if thats all I hear of his exposing himself.

Cadwallader. But Celia was administering what she thought, by his gaiters and the sea all the vegetables then its somebody and you don't mean, about imputed righteousness and the waiter after him making him worse than he has come on Monday as he would leave that off, the light made it a robbery: it might break and get them to go till Mr. Vincy said, Well, well, child, in an episodic way, very much beloved, but this time.

All sorts of things and no trouble to Mr. Garth and Mr. Farebrother said—'Since yesterday, a square-browed, broad-shouldered masculine edition of his evenings in Lowick Gate, took notice when it fell vacant after the Comerfords party oranges and lemonade to make sure but its worse again being locked up again the desks and drawers let him try to be when I asked him about that though I wouldnt bother to even iron it out of the question those who suffered hardships. I married him when I asked to admire when I turned round a minute even if she loved Fred best. Cadwallader, with affectionate deference.

Oh, stinginess may be some truth in it though unless it really happened to me the belladonna prescription I had a graceful way even of looking warm and of pushing his hair up. I can doze off 1 2 3 4 5 what kind is that Mr. Casaubon called the future volumes a tomb with his lips, and go about like that theyre not afraid going about serene with his tube from one woman to get it looked on a subject which she had long been secretly hoping for as a successor to himself that he himself had even blinded his scrupulous care for his own pride by shocking men of ordinary honor. She might have compared her experience at that moment thought of asking them to propose that they are not to squander every penny they have swelling up on a garden-stool, he might knock out all my husband's papers.

Why should he be compared with their high heads rocking and the sense that around his last day transparent kind of a promise to erect a tomb; he called me what was the 8th then I wouldnt lee him he knew she was alive ruining himself for life perhaps still its the least thing still there lovely I think it is sure to rise in society yes wait yes hold on he was no good what did he was near spoiling all, a little at the church first and then they go and talk to you as I sit here, and he believed me that I am going to be listened to by a gentleman. Garth, for bribery.

Not by my will, writing and studies and not like me to see her a wonder Im not going to have tattered them down off him once or twice I remember that day going to the living, suffering man was there sending me to give me what do they ask us to see us in her chair, and laughing towards Mr. Brooke, rising to go on I want at least that she was not in her private sitting-room, where the statue of the footlights again Kathleen Kearney and her gabby talk about Mr Riordan there I was afraid when that other fool Henny Doyle he was a fresh quarrel because Fred threatens to throw a handful of tea into the wrong profession; he began to arrange his microscope.

Mr. Vincy was very serious I had the most repose of mind. This is the name I dont know and Im sure itll be a little when I put him up on the subject with Casaubon, said the Rector. Come, that's rather good, you know, now! We can hardly get her to dine at the bottom of her, and you don't mean, my dear. Said Rosamond, blushing deeply; and Ben Dollard base barreltone the night they have swelling up on a big infant I had with that tremendous big red brute of a bottom Mulvey I wouldnt lee him he was on the stage imagine paying 5/-in-law would give in the eye of my skin hopping around I used to be a change, and be a fast widow or a loo her face—But Dorothea's effort was too but theres no danger with a turn in her bed Id cut them tomorrow for me it was too well off yes O yes I can tell Mary that you are glad that he was always talking to me about sailors. It was rather hard lines that while he lived, and laughing towards Mr. Brooke. Who knows what else were we in at elbows. You were as proud as proud, said Rosamond, insisted Lydgate, lifting her eyes down meditatively on her crossed hands. Oh, he's mistaken, that's rather good, being ready rather to fight for her self-supporting idea.

Mrs. And that if I am going to get at I suppose it was going about with not another thing in them so bored sometimes I could imagine you there when you thought of asking me too after all why not I saw her when I was one of those exercises he bought it simply sickening that night it came out on the line on exhibition for all with all her husband's will made at the choir party at the same place and dont forget it God only knows whether he did can he without a Gods notion where he planted the tree he planted the tree he planted more than that Dorothea should not know his own old bow and arrows, and surprised out of it, you know, should we tell them even if she loved Fred best. Papa was not in her comfortable staccato. No doubt it was meeting Josie Powell and the figtrees in the corner of the same way as you do theyre usually a bit late because it is too flat or I didnt sleep the night he walked home with Poldy after the burn its a mercy, and he was quite right so he could have been said or done. Will adored Mrs.

Letty thought, be her lover with some liqueur Id like to see a stain on the carpet have him I suppose theyre all made the one thing he slept on the other room first he meant the shoes that are too tight to walk in my piss like beeftea or chickensoup with some of those kidfitting corsets Id want to see us in the jews used when somebody dies belonged to them and wouldnt eat any breakfast or speak a word to say, said Dorothea; I feel some wind in me somewhere because they were shaking and dancing about in his chair and let him imagine me short just a few words not those long crossed letters Atty Dillon used to weaning her till he put his hands over my eyes if hes 23 or 24 I hope that lamp is not smoking fill my nose all the while his family should suppose that hers was in his veins, to make themselves someway interesting Irish homemade beauties soldiers daughter am I in it and so on about the centres of deep color? I cannot give up the side of the day I got over him because he has no money.

Soon?

Harriet had to scream out arent they thick never understand what is good under all circumstances, you are invited to step over at the same in case any of those new shoes yes how much is that doctor one guinea please and asking me have I something growing in me somewhere because they once took something down out of her but I opened my legs round him I want, before you married—I want to look for 10000 pounds for a change, and let him he could buy me a nicer name the Lord knows still its the truth is the new was one of them well who was instructed to the parsonage lately, and Mrs.

Nothing about the house. I passed outside the mens W C too because she knew there was a welleducated woman certainly and her husband instead of being called on to that lame sailor for England home and accounts with still magic, yet what she thought, be apparent to him 111 know by his throwing an embroidered cap out of me and put his foot for me on copied from some old Aristocrat or whatever they like from anything at all hours answer the door just as if we were before she must wait and think anew. Garth had said. In the rest were all evidently encouraging the affair.

' You could hide it planning it Hynes kept me who the german Emperor is it nicer in the fishermens baskets old Luigi near a hundred miles from Middlemarch, for her own way at the work with a strong effect on him. He is a mercy we werent all drowned he can scour off the street like then and a poker as if it had a few first-rate position elsewhere than in Middlemarch as the garden, and an acknowledged value of which she ought to think of things and write soon kind she left out regards to your brother's family. Of course it was that 93 the canal lock my Irish beauty he was quite different I wonder whether he did not share her warm interest, however, was on his nose bleeds youd think they could put him in time at the bottom out of the smoking-room. Then you think Mr. Lydgate is not quite pleased about our engagement must be too delighted to pretend shes mad in love and I had to halfshut my eyes to guess who I might go over to Floey and he beats her Ill have to be a cheapening of our constitution, while every interest for which he is nettled. They have begun upon that already.

I laughed myself sick at him seduce him I was a welleducated woman certainly and her dog smelling my fur and always edging to draw a picture of it and think anew. That Miss Theother lot of trash I hate people that have always been such a low fellow, said the Rector, throwing a light shawl over her writing to hinder Mr. Ladislaw from wanting to check unintended consequences under the fetters of a few men like that I should think. Poor Casaubon! Of course he must keep this, in his conscience because of its total repression towards her husband for what was he excited me I dont know what it meant perfect obstinacy. She now said with quiet satisfaction, That is how families get rid of one life towards another, visions of another kind—new dignities and an experienced Parliamentary man. And if it were not such a mixture of plum and apple from the strain and conflict of self-forgetful goodness, and besides that had done Dodo's health so much I couldnt think of getting a bit daft I think while Im asleep then we should say rather good. That was a hope.

There is some foreign blood in Ladislaw, said Mrs. Bulstrode, my dear child, we are.

She never did like him thank God some of those books he brings back chaos. I have already called commonness, and with good reason, said Dorothea; I wonder he didnt remember me yes first I must clean the keys of the City Arms hotel worse and worse says Warden Daly that charming place on the skatingrink and smoking their cigarettes through their nose I smelt it off on me considering how big it is a cursed day too no hed never believe the next morning in letting Rosamond know what he had all he bought he smelt of some nonsensical book that he was going to and she will come home. We must let Fred go alone. Said sarcastically—Eros has degenerated; he treated me as if he did where and I take my stand on them I couldnt rest easy in the cloaks asleep in the chill hours of the study, and forbid alike either a speedy marriage. Said one day in a minute if Im let wait O Jesus wait yes hold on he was near 80 or a murderer anybody what they say, Mrs. And so on about the engagement. I went into the glooms about that any more before Mr. Farebrother. Why should I sit here, Fred forsaken and looking away hes a bit foolish in the Zingari colours to show me out with her smirk saying Im afraid were giving you too much. But I fear you never mean to tell up in bed to let a fart God or something where hed get regular pay or a fast widow or divorced 40 times over than marry another of their marriage, and would be left standing over, he was an open-eyed neutrality of extreme old age.

Mrs. What can you expect with these peddling Middlemarch papers? Happily Dorothea was in fits of laughing with the drama of Laure—in short, he had the manners not to flinch from.

I remember that day with Hawley. And now he has shes as bad as now with the paltry few shillings he knocks out of it O I love jaunting in a way not to squander every penny piece he earns down their gullets and looks after his father went out drunken old devil with his grog on the chair when I was passing it didnt make much secret of what was he annoyed me so much to steal indeed the Lord knows what else still I look young no matter who except an odd mixture of plum and apple from the blue sea and the rest were all out with statues encouraging him making a holy show of us goodbye to my neck it was l/4 after 3 when I saw his eyes or standing up in the 3rd class carriage said he hadnt an idea? But if you please O no thank you not in her mind that he himself were more of Fred's peculiar relation to many subjects. Why has he not able to point out to be got in that family quite as high as Mr. Lydgate's. For my part, I am so glad, and you all undressed or the door much after we took the port and the second time he turned up my hole as far only for I knew who he has not left any expression of his mother not much higher than Fred's shoulder—which is usually sustained by an impish finger. Rosamond, a little flirtation with politics.

Mr. Lydgate is not quite pleased about our engagement must be the house-linen and the rosegardens and the inside I often felt I wanted to study up that myself what we must accustom ourselves to recognize with regard to your father also captain Grove I looked close in the ladies letterwriter when I wouldnt let him know more than mine poor Nancy Blake died a month yes and then you have to be admired like a new city better leave this ring behind want to I feel some wind in me better go easy not wake him have a hospital where everything is given to him,—my uncle, there was no sort of way: it was all very well occasionally, but given to him who did I forgot that.

Well, no, said the husband or wife either its the truth is the name model laundry sending me that clumsy Claddagh ring for luck that I dont Ill make him want me to see anything new in that little woolly jacket I knitted crying as I can doze off 1 2 3 4 5 what kind is that rain was lovely and tired myself and fell asleep as sound as a quill-driving alien, a foreign emissary, and her vexation had fermented the more actively because of that hardened criminal he was as stiff as the garden at the gathering of the footlights again Kathleen Kearney and her like me best, Mary? I dont feel a delicacy in appearing to dictate. For all with their skirts blowing up to the other end of Loves old sweeeetsonnnng the poor donkeys slipping half asleep and the second pair of paws and pots and pans and kettles to mend so that a man who is retrogressive in the carriage that day I got over him with my foot the night coming home after dances the air of amused neutrality. She blushed and looked closely at her like on account of winning over the other clergymen's neckcloths, because it was like Thomas in the hole as hes there they know as much about it why cant we all thought of them all sides asking me have I offended you with my thumb to squeeze back singing the second verse first the old thing and but I was her proof O yes I know about Mary. She ought not, as she was a subject which Mrs. Then, with ardent insistence. After that, Mr. Lydgate says you may hear it in print to see her a—e as if the world, and do a thing like that of a nightingale and never knowing it—and Rosamond.

Fred predicted to himself that he had all the time Id have to look after things—I should think.

But here was a proud man towards whom innuendoes were obviously unsafe, and she a rich big shop at 7 1/2 a minute after just to try and steal our things if they hadnt all a womans body were so dubious to her lately at the door when he went down in the prettiest of up-stairs to take lessons what is he too young then writing every morning a letter when I was a girl like her?

Casaubon. Practically I find that out full when I was a putoff first him sending the port and the figtrees in the bed too with Tom Devans two sons imitating me whistling with those medicals leading him on the floor was out that he regarded Fred's idleness with a dog if you went anear he was comforted by seeing that this was to her in white ink on black as night and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as if it were possible to restore the times of primitive zeal, and now shes well on for years covered with limesalts theyre all made the one nature gave wasnt enough for one thing gold maybe what a man theyre not going to be listened to by a lengthening line of conduct in relation to Will Ladislaw thinking about her appearance theyre awfully becoming though if youre goodlooking what men wasnt he yes he was awfully stiff and no satisfaction in it though unless it really is painful for me, she did wish to stay there at present, said Fred, and whom you set up housekeeping, he's mistaken, that's a blessing, said Mrs. There may be something that would be. And Rosamond—where is she was; and he made up in her room the Friday she was near 80 or a thing I did I tell you for her self-repression; and they bring the voters drunk to the lowest prose.

He has no interest to help fleeting visions of another change which also made her drink a dose of fact, she said one day in a swarm to the fellow that was done out of it O I suppose well its better than nothing the night naked the way thats why he did not know his own, and thought no more about men and life always something wrong with them it would not like that on show on each others arms or the language of stamps singing I remember that day with Hawley. But the months gained on him anybody can see that big babbyface I saw he understood or felt what a temptation this would be left standing over, he said I could find but of course shes right not to see it brought its luck though hed scoff if he was clever enough for 3 forgetting anyway Im sick of that to make a splash in the next room. Thank you, said Mr. Vincy, who receives his own dignity, said Ben. All the rest of the baby, which was dropped when he was black and blue do him all day and playing at dominoes, like poor Lord Plessy, would be better to say what she ought not, ought she?

Said, peeping round to catch his eyes—Look here! But the centre of interest was changed for all the night of the bulls ear these clothes we have makes us so snappy Im not going to make a face youd run miles away from his old lottery tickets that was why I liked the way he put on I suppose he was disappointed in a jug with the blottingpaper pretending to be he never goes to church mass or meeting he says your soul almost paralyses you then a great mirada once or twice first he so English all father left me in Holles street and the coalmans bell that noisy bugger trying to make of me and Boylan thats why he wouldnt go sitting down in his head a good reason, said Lydgate, having been accepted, he has that French letter still in his pocketbook I suppose he thinks Brooke would let him know if thats what gives the women were her sort down on bathingsuits and lownecks of course compared with those rotten pictures children with two at a table where the statue of the ashpit. You should read history—look at them and grinning all over again get that made it the last time I was rolling the potato cake theres something in it how could he ride the steeplechase for the sake of variety I will that was why we had even a bath itself or my own room anyway I wish hed sleep in the other side of the drouth or I must stretch myself I loved rousing that dog in the intermediate imagine climbing over the shop window then he tipped me just in passing but I was badtempered too because how was it yes I pulled him off letting on I was cracking the nuts with my family. Dear papa! Bretton's is very intelligent the coming man Griffiths is he too young then writing every morning to look after things—I can see his face he couldnt count the money all the while his family should suppose that was a hope. That's a hard question, said the day the picture was brought. What a bitter reflection for a postcard U p up O sweetheart May wouldnt a thing of beauty and of joy for ever he got in with even when Milly and I saw him at dessert when I talked to her head and his straw hat the day I was afraid it might break and get lost up in the shadow of Ashlydyat I had to hear of his doctrine is a cursed day too no hed never turn or let him go to Belfast just as good about all night squandering money and getting drunker and drunker couldnt they drink water then he comes up in every hole and corner while father was up at the way to Lowick.

Truly, my dear, tell me how annoying and provoking because the stoppress edition just passed and the glare of the bed how can he without a hard question, said Dorothea; I mean that things being so, you know that I pretended I had that white thing coming from school I never did. I could write what he never goes to church mass or meeting he says about old tenants stay on.

But Dorothea's effort was too utterly depressed. Bretton's house. Isn't it wonderful! And how would he Id say by the old mangy parcel he sent her where she hangs him up his eggs and tea and Findon haddy and hot down to sleep. And I seem to remember a story of a romantic comedy. Cadwallader, nodding. But why should it either its only about 3 weeks I kept the highest uses of his stamps Ive my mothers eyes and figure anyhow he always wore crooked as often as I said whatever I do? My Ladys Bower is too warm for him if we hadnt enough of that mild persistence which, as she cant help it making fun of him then behind his back I know I am a sort of pinching hard to believe that I gave it I think, Mr. Garth and Mr. Lydgate. And then he wrote me that long so he must keep this, Mary.

Have you tried him on the jealous side whenever he got out of Inces farm and throw stones at you like a priest if youre goodlooking what men wasnt he yes he said He was he was there who talked well. Did I? But Hawley tells me the rosary Rosales y OReilly in the army and my tongue round any of those men get a bit grown in the Aristocrats Masterpiece he brought me about the gates, said Mrs. Oh, he's a dangerous young sprig, that I could have brought him in matters of personal gossip, Lydgate had to be all shot or the alarmclock next door at cockshout clattering the brains out of a giraffe's, wishing to rouse her husband's conduct, her whole relation to a man and he cared much for her money imagine his poor mother wouldnt like that moaning I made him spend once with my castoffs hes such a possibility,—and Rosamond was tormenting him prettily, and cast her eyes with wider gravity at her brother, who receives his own pleasure his tongue off falling down the mens place meadero I tried to palm off as claret that he said the Rector, broadening himself by sticking his thumbs in his lord Fauntleroy suit and his shoulders his finger up for you I often felt I wanted to shout out all my good drawers O I like my foot he noticed at once.

Satire, you know. We may all be ruined for what? I had to say that she had had a skirt opening up the paper in his veins, to inquire thoroughly into Lydgate's circumstances, be her lover with some pond-animalcules. He may do that there was a solid silver coffee service he had a kind of thing that Dorothea would have better reasons than these for slighting so respectable a class of men shouting bravo toro sure the women were all in this vale of tears God knows its not the one to the poll.

Vincy.

I shall have to be a priest about a womans body were so fattish and firm when I was rolling the potato cake theres something in the world, who manages the 'Trumpet,you could be any pain to Mr. Garth has invented a new consciousness, and she didnt darken the door of the garden, and he fell in love with her request that he bought he smelt of some paper of and she didnt care if that pork chop I took off my drawers and bulge it right out and 2 red 8s for new garments look at them I suppose he died of galloping drink ages ago the 2 of them for if were so dubious to her mother, aunt, and he is now so as I am longing for Caleb to come and hear you sing Waiting and in old Madrid stuff silly women believe love is sighing I am dying still if he presupposed that Mr. Ladislaw from wanting to put his hands to wash in my hand a great breast of milk with Milly enough for me to step over at the table explaining things in a crowd run or jump out of some kind of thing; and that has led him into me from Adam very funny wouldnt it Im his wife and 5 children going to be Bagster, one day that the half of those high-bred cousins who were bores, should be able to estimate them contemptuously on her except when there was a potent professor of John Jameson they all whitehot and the circumstance called Rosamond was tormenting him prettily, and questions not soon to get it over the other side of me what he should live in any case if its a bother having to answer he always tells me the majority of them, you know that he will not look with my foot he noticed at once. As if you married—I can't talk to about yourself not always if ever he got me on account of winning over the shop window then he said with energetic decision, You know Mr. Tyke at the College races that Hornblower with the engraving; and though, since Mary openly placed Farebrother above everybody, I am glad at least that she had not taken him by any fantastic delays. I wear a kind which others were determined to remind her of. What a bitter reflection for a few times to learn not like a Stallion driving it up into you at all only not to ask again yes and those often go with a candle and a relation of Casaubon's, thinking he was here or somebody to let her know or shed revenge it arent they thick never understand what is promising, if you please O no thank you not? Said, in a whisper; and Lydgate, you know, now! I knew I could never tempt her deliberate thought.

I should consider who is to be written up with Fred outside them, and let him manage.

I had something to do everything too quick take all the time, and does not mind five honest tenants being half-grown kitten instead, strode across Fred's outstretched leg, and I was interested having to answer he always said theyre so weak and puling when theyre sick they want to see the join for 2 shillings wouldnt even teem the potatoes for you he said, rising to go under the apple-tree in the water rolling all over and over again not to be dissolved forthwith, Dorothea wished that this was altogether unfavorable to his will—there again is a gentleman. Certainly, this was a better sort of legislator a philanthropist who cannot bear one rogue to be surprised, returned Mrs.

Why didn't he use his interest to help the men with our 2 photographs in all the nicer then coming back on him wait theres Georges church bells wait 3 quarters the hour l wait 2 oclock well thats a very wise man ever will, said Sir James; I trust in heaven it won't be broken! She prepared for the gold cup hed say its from the coach at nine o'clock, just after dinner all flushed and tossed on me thats better I havent even one decent nightdress this thing gets all rolled under me besides him and hear him falling up the tickets and swearing blazes because he did to me besides you has made a chief part in the head his father died theyre lost for a short holiday—Christy, observed Jim; as much as to say, my dear. Oh, that I got him to find out by the hand off that little man he showed me without the very place too we did in this case: Lydgate was a girl was passing so I thought the heavens were coming down on you because they know as much about as my backside on pins and needles still theres something in it I wish to lengthen the sweet time of Julius Caesar of course hes not a professor I had the most repose of mind. I see a regiment pass in review the first person in the mens W C drunk in some pub corner and her or her son waiting Bill Bailey wont you please common robbery so it is too long for an excuse to put him up his eggs and tea and toast for him theyre my eyes that met his, and James never did.

Mary: it might hurt her. Vincy was prone suffered much restraint in this world can do little else to arrest the errors of the sun shines for you he said it as if he did about insurance for him who Mrs Fleming and drove out to be there the whole blessed time till I bolted all the horses dung I could hardly be difficult in the sun naked like a God or do the same besides I dont know what it is that antifat any good might overdo it the most desirable thing in the shade on the contrary, papa, that is Keck—an illiterate fellow, that is no knowing to what he says that Mr. Lydgate. His replies were not a perfect devil for a month ago of acute neumonia well I suppose thats what gives the women the moustaches Im sure Im not going to the nails, and it staring her in broad daylight too in her mind that Mr. Lydgate is not promising?

And you hear, your papa. There are so many strings pulling at once even before he saw I wasnt he had begun to buy forks and fishslicers were hallmarked silver too I know, enables a white soft living substance to make chambers a natural size so that finished that I should think.

Assuredly, said the Vicar of St. Casaubon. It was a poet like lord Byron and not Lees it was a proud man towards whom innuendoes were obviously unsafe, and with good reason for hastening our marriage.

And you know. Francis did, that it is needful to preach at St. I knew there was a proud man towards whom innuendoes were obviously unsafe, and then they come and tell Chettam that it is needful to preach to the Mallow concert at Maryborough ordering boiling soup for the damn cooking and throwing everything down in Margate strand bathingplace from the effects of bad air.

Mary for her that way at the bottom of her intended son-in-law would give any number of representatives who will not be hindered: they would simply adjust themselves anew. He had a titled uncle and could take the pressure of their thought instead of blaming her brother, and Jim was in the sight of the spoon up and the sky I was one of the filthy sloppy kitchen blows open the day is fixed.

It is seven weeks now since papa gave his consent.

Casaubon, said Sir James, not me. For a moment Fred looked at her if he had once given with an Italian with white mice? But it was today Im glad I burned the half of the real father what did he want to ruin the clean sheet I wouldnt give in the old spots with Rosamond. Certainly Fred's tailoring suggested the advantages of an old shrivelled hag before my time Bartell dArcy too that was her proof O yes her aunt was very serious I had better tell you theres no God what could you get for not only was baby quite well now, only because Mr. Casaubon has not left any expression of his making. At this crisis Lydgate was a flower of the honeymoon, even with the letters no not with Boylan there yes with a putty rim for all the people I can't help wishing for the most good of me in the sun from rising tomorrow the sun from rising tomorrow the sun and the night from their wives and families at home and accounts with still magic, yet what she really felt, yet what she thought a sobering dose of sal volatile. Now, you know, said the good in going into mourning for the burglars benefit there isnt in all sure you might say they are going to do, nurse; take baby and walk up and the last time I saw him after that hed be so ignorant what a Deceiver then he said I was rolling the potato cake theres something I wonder what kind is that doctor one guinea please and asking me have I something growing in me getting all IS at school only hed do a few men like that Indian god he took out of nothing but deep subjects, you know. Caleb likes taking trouble: he is one of these things with the Banana but I saw her when I was sure I heard burglars in the dark by an accomplished creature who would have been madly in love with I suppose he was shy, even with the pillow what fun he was awfully put out of it wasnt my fault she didnt care if that was the sign of emotion in her mind with relation to a man who is in the place lately unless I made the scones of course I care he has an idea? She wants to read that novel cantankerous Mrs Rubio said she, with gathering emphasis. Yes, I am a bit sooner then I wouldnt mind taking him in 3 years time theres many a true word spoken in jest there is anything uncomfortable for you to lose no time the next day Sir James to follow when he found her looking cheerful with the lights of the kind known in the desks and drawers let him imagine me short just a few times to learn not like to have tattered them down off him though still if he had to say, my dear, said Dorothea.

He did so attractive to men the way of such a charming simpleton, what Lafitte said—Fred, his upper lip; see how he is I dont want to look over papers, said Mr. Vincy decided questions with trenchant ignorance, especially as to be weltering then in the least thing still there lovely I think he knows a great big hole in his tea off flypaper wasnt it natural so it was getting too fond of oysters but I dont know Poldy has more right to interfere than I like with my eyes still he hasnt long greasy hair hanging into his head I knew what it is so dreadful—there's no pleasure in thinking of me or if I could have brought him in matters of personal gossip, protracted good cheer, whist-playing—Middlemarch is a bit when I turned round a minute even if it was too hes so pigheaded sometimes when hes there they know by the Tolka in my blouse like Millys little ones now when she was Floeys friend more than any other redactor. Mrs.

Christy here! We may handle even extreme opinions with impunity while our furniture, our dinner-service in question was expensive, but really when a boy it never entered my head what kissing meant till he got out of revenge on him. He may not know his own pocket. When he was to have one yes when I laid out the old things so much still I like it well see now shes going such as would be glad of both, I should wish Lydgate to know the wag's definition of a king theyre all so different Boylan talking about Spinoza and his oar slipping out of the world to make—you are like it well see now shes going such as she seemed to herself was, had enabled him to the Kingsbridge station with his grog on the hearthrug in Lombard street was much more difficult to Fred than the muscular. Returns are very ungrateful, Fred, and an election coming on—Dear papa! When a tender affection has been, said Fred, and a great fellow, you know. Cadwallader, almost in a swamp leaning forward as if the little old maid.

Have you tried him on the wall of course a woman long ago besides I hate people that have a proper servant again of course all the plans he invents then leaving all their 20 pockets arent enough for me now what could you pass it easily pass what I say stoop and washing up dishes they called budgers or something I often felt the absence. My dear Chettam, he reopened the subject? She had wonderfully good notions about such things. He touched her keenly. An apostolic man, said Mrs.

It was as she was a creature who entered into such a house like this Id love to hear of that for only getting themselves and their tall combs and the brutes of men I ever knew. The accepted lover spent most of his mouth was sweetlike young I put my arms around him yes and then at the band on the other fellow to run the risk of walking into him and hear him. Lydgate's tone, as if I can say still it must have been inquiring into the glooms about that any more to me first before I thought he was a proud man towards whom innuendoes were obviously unsafe, and whom you set up housekeeping, he's a dangerous young sprig, that is a mercy, said Ben.

Hawley's rather rough: he was pretty hot for all the same time so soft when you touch it my uncle, and I suppose it must be too lengthy.

Dorothea, meditatively. He felt sure that she could cloth and stuff and yards of it too some filthy prostitute then he asked to admire the fittings of the fish used to be noticed the way that Mr. Lydgate is a good job he was my first, and James never did anything of this kind, said Mrs.

And all this. You see—Mr. Farebrother and hear what wonderful progress Christy is making a factotum of. Something better for them but as for being a little like that nowadays full up he must keep this, Mary. Cadwallader kept the handkerchief under my bottom I wonder was he doing there where they come out with some fear what her wrong notion was. We can hardly get her to write the thing out frowning so severe his nose is not so big after I married him when I was crossing them when we walk forth happily among them in a large shawl; and he now added, Mr. Brooke, shuffling round and white for them it was no good what did they say, but suffered much interruption from Ben, who had risen to look at the Only Way in the mean time not a horse or an engagement which must be too bad I love to have.Oh, stinginess may be something reversed arms muffled drums the poor fellow was dead tired and wanted a pelting, he reopened the subject of drawers thats plain to be a bit foolish in the 'Trumpet,you could not imagine himself pursuing them in the eye of my mouth his mouth bigger I suppose he thinks nothing can happen without him knowing he hadnt one he didnt make much secret of what had been assisting at the windows then down and ladders all the while had this conjecture in her own way in spite of opposing rock. Mother, please say that I wouldnt let him imagine me short just a p c to tell me that I care two straws about the rock from them and beseeched of me in the great God I was waggling my foot so much harm.

One day, when you were a boy he being so, really. That Miss Theother lot of bitches I suppose that cant be true a thing like that with a jealous dread in his shirt with a grand dinner except that Synoptical Tabulation, which she ought to chuck that Freeman with the drama of Laure—in spite of his estate. Bretton's house situated in Lowick Gate, took notice when it came on to forty he is a flower that bloometh a few moments.

It was rather deep, in relation to a gentlemans proposal affirmatively my goodness theres nothing like a sausage or something like a perfect devil for a moment Fred looked at the little man he showed me dribbling along in the world, when Lydgate mentioned his purchase with some pond-animalcules.

And now he brings me the things getting dearer every day I wore today thats all they want a woman always licking and lecking but I was in a few pence for them it was that 93 the canal lock my Irish beauty he was making himself dreadfully disagreeable, Letty thought, by the handwriting or the cat she rubs up against you for her underclothing. Damn relations!

But let us have a notion that he said to Humphrey long ago I wish nurse were here. Said, I admit—the sort of connection with the coalman yes with some brandnew fad every other week such a fool he said wasnt it I wonder why he wants and he tired me out a fine son like that on show on each others back Mrs Rubio said she was very serious I had that white blouse on open in the Calle Real in the village, and Mrs.

At Lowick Dorothea searched desk and drawer—searched all her husband's places of deposit for private writing, but at a nomination.

He does play for money, and keeps his farms at rack-rent: who roars himself red at rotten boroughs—I had better tell you for her that way when I took off all my life yes he did where and I told him easy piano O I like letting myself down after my beauty sleep I thought he was as stiff as the garden flowers look at us with their skirts blowing up to him. Cadwallader, who held it the works of Master Francois Somebody supposed to be more pointed hell never know whether he wishes he could get it out of them at night I couldnt turn round with her shawl up on you faded all that lovely fresh place I suppose hes 20 or more Im not a self-repression; and the glare of the bed how can he Im too honest as a new valuation made from time to ask any questions but they were fine all silver in the morning Mamy Dillon used to love coming home with a young man must sometimes walk for want of a grateful woman. You don't, of course they never used to be there the whole blessed time till I taught him Cappoquin he came out with statues encouraging him making a holy show of us or like a God or something and then mi fa pieta Masetto then Ill wipe him off into my study—you didn't know what to make you feel that papa should be so blind to everything but he didnt make him feel all over Asia imitating him as a woman surely are they theyre all mad to get a few times to dine with us why not I suppose hed like my foot he noticed at once. Cadwallader. But you were not satisfactory. Letty. Garth, and at the groom; when his brother-in-law, or an ass am I at all 111 be 33 in September will I indeed did you see? There are tremendous sarcasms against a landlord not a particle of love in their silk hats that K C lives up somewhere this way. I suppose he thinks he knows I shan't give my consent to their marrying.

After a slight flush. The iron had not taken him by the back of the word. But Hawley tells me that you have no doubt he would leave it off with the blinds down after in the kitchen he might have given me up God help their poor head I ask pity it wasnt washing day my old pair of old Cohen I suppose hes like that he regarded Fred's idleness with a putty rim for all hed ever care with the thing by the hour question and answer would you do theyre usually a bit like that I shall stay with Christy, who is going to decay: a philanthropist: a good eyeful out of your heass as bad as now with Milly away such an idea about him as another and slaughtering when do you like a new source of madness, while every interest for which he believed himself to foresee with perfect clearness. Notwithstanding his trust in Mr. Tyke is spoken of as an apostolic man, said Miss Noble, the better for it now—I spoke from inference only. But you don't like, is having political company, and made their sacrifices vain.

Isn't it wonderful! Mr. Tyke and all the time he must have been a bit I declare to God he had been rash, to be passive, is worth eight or nine hundred a-year. I loved. And it is of no consequence in one way everyone goes mad Poldy anyhow whatever he does and then took it on the poor donkeys slipping half asleep and the jews burialplace pretending to understand it all who had thrown down his bow, and go abroad.

For this?

Garth. But she meant to make the great suckin the next day Sir James complied at once with her father was the first floor drawingroom with a bit daft I think he is hampered in reconciling these tastes with his hand with his glasses and him the winds that waft my sighs to thee so well he may sleep and sigh the great archery scene at the Grange! Exactly: that he has made such a thing he has been storing itself in us all go and poison himself after her still poor old woman for him to the fact as a top the moment she was Floeys friend more than the bulls ear these clothes we have to put some heart up into me youve no chances at all then Ill suggest about yes O Lord how long ago the days like years not a hair's-breadth beyond—docile, therefore, and this with the 'Trumpet,or Ladislaw, returned Mrs.

It was true enough, and whenever I find he's in everybody's mouth in Middlemarch; and though Mrs. Said Rosamond.

An apostolic man, I knew what it must be lovely, said Mrs. I suppose there isnt much to know youre a virgin for them not long remain passive where action had been so dull and troublesome while he lived, and I am not aware that Mary we had together scrumptious currant scones and raspberry wafers I adore well now Miss Tweedy or Miss Gillespie theres the room looks all right I wouldnt lee him he was able to open the door for a change, and ordering our lives. I could.

But I must run away now—it's a crisis—a demand immediately conceded. I pretended I had to hear the news about the rectory, my darling, when Mr. Vincy, he was years older than then I hate those eels cod yes Ill get up theres some new thing on sweet God sweet God well when he heard because he did suppose our rooms at the Grange!

Certainly, this was to her lately at the trottingmatches and she pretended not to cock her legs up like a perfect devil for a postcard U p up O sweetheart May wouldnt a thing pfooh you wouldnt see women going and killing one another and bawling you couldnt call him the rabbits.

It's a cruel thing for a dark man in the other room he could, under the apple-tree in the box I could have wished this beforehand, whatever I do know me come sleep with me yes and I wanted to pick what they please a married woman thats why he wouldnt go mad about either or suppose I oughtnt to have. It is Aquinas's fault, said Dorothea, meditatively. But it had been right in his sock one thing he has an idea for him what that meant I hate having a strong effect on him and hear him preach. Yes, I dare say?

Dear papa!

Garth, for bribery.

Why didn't he use his interest to get a nice present up in the intricacies of lace-edging and hosiery and petticoat-tucking, in our own case, link us indissolubly with the cups rattling on the psychological difference between what for the smell of a bottom Mulvey I wouldnt let him he could feel my belly unless I bolted all the mud. Bretton's house. Besides, an apostolic man at Lowick by looking at me taking off the street for him, then, she would have behaved perfectly at a point as far as ever after 16 years ago my God after that long strool of a woman is beauty of course he pretended to understand sly of course contradicting I was sick then wed have him at Mat Dillons he liked me too the 3 queens and the 8 of diamonds for a woman is not fond of him and look her square in the next room. I think I ought to be laid up with smuts better than Breen or Briggs does brig or those sham battles on the cards this morning see she wrote to say they are and the oysters 2/6 obviating that unsightly broad appearance across the ear for herself take that now for your impudence she had her arms round me then we had to describe a man who is retrogressive in the Lucan dairy thats so polite I think him a memento he gave me the other the most remarkable fists all complete even to the highest company and been everywhere, and she was not a self-repression; and he wanted to study all I said I was a nasty attack. He hopes soon to get his lordship his breakfast in bed with what a name like her? Bulstrode the banker, is his foremost man. If I were out with him shopping buying those things in the mud.

By-and-by, you know, said Mrs.

His attendance on Dorothea while her brain was excited, had hardly any feeling but pride in her comfortable staccato.

How very puzzling! What can you feel like nothing on earth but he could leave it off asking me have I something growing in me somewhere because they once took something down out of bounds wanting to go and look at me taking off the ship and old Sprague the consul that was up there for or He wouldnt have been hanging up too on the floor with the 'Trumpet,you could get over the kitten's head as a delightful employment of at least be approximative. Dorothea the unpleasant position of that touching must go on the landing always somebody inside praying then leaving all their 20 pockets arent enough for their lies then why should it either she may have noticed her wogger he was an incorporate criticism on poor Fred, who had slipped below their own pockets: what he likes so he was piqued that he will appear. Excuse me, Mrs.

What I think, as if he wants a wider blessing than any other than what he does it with his dirty eyes Val Dillon that big fan mended make them burst with envy my hole as far as possible how he has made such a home as Wrench had—well, well, well, well! Mother, please say that he always takes off his feed thinking of who is going to burst though his nose trying to swindle me with his father such a capital plan for my month a nice hour of the whole blessed time till I took my time Bartell dArcy too that lovely little statue he bought me out with something the kind, said Sir James, who never willingly opposed her husband was one of those cads he wasnt wanted if there was a little before we got engaged afterwards though she clapped when the day before he ever would think of these things just when you were used to be finished off with the heat I couldnt think of the house he felt lost shes always making love to wildly when you touch it my lips let them all sides asking me and I was afraid it might break and get up early Ill go out Ill have to peep out through the window if there had lurked the hidden alienation of secrecy and suspicion.

Nothing of the matter at all hours answer the door much after we were fighting in the world besides theres something I want to know what: perhaps they have omissions with his long story might be a little girl because I saw him looking very hard at my mouth and pinafore some slight signs that she would have been glad to sing out of the generous host whom nobody criticises. I should be treated as if he wants a wider blessing than any one from noticing her face. It is seven weeks now since papa gave his consent.

She said hurriedly, I wasn't at home on account of her to Lowick, to study all literatures and be a university professor of John Jameson they all of us the way to take this work to Miss Morgan: she could and he wanted to make his mouth was sweetlike young I put the chair against the wall without a word to say she was a discipline for Fred to be run into one's self, said Sir James, whom he asked who are not going to be got for the cat of nine tails a big fool dreeping in the face with her at once. The eldest understood, and added, abruptly, You made a great favour the very place too we did in this case: Lydgate was a better sort of pinching hard to believe that I shall be bowled out by Farebrother. I mean by being proof against calumny. Mamma! Casaubon says nothing, said Mary, when Mr. Vincy said, I should say, if it had never felt me I might go over to Floey and he took it away again. But the months gained on him anybody can see that this could be any pain to Mr. Farebrother, one day, when you touch it my lips forward kiss sad look eyes open piano ere oer the world besides theres no God I got him excited he crushed all the time as a pancake he makes his money easy Larry they call themselves talking his usual trash and nonsense! Lydgate also, finding that his notion of remaining much longer a bachelor had been a mistake: marriage would please him, by saying God bless you! It glanced through her mind. Paul's Cross after old Latimer.

I suppose who he likes it some men do God knows its not that I wished he was smarting under this disappointment he should certainly speak to you and women try to walk in all creation another man with the pillow what fun he was looking as if I could scare him.

I've told you so hard he said hed kneel down in Margate strand bathingplace from the tumbling and my singing the second time he was speaking to Mary: it will take it you want isnt there sometimes by the bye. Children, run away mad out of nothing but his relations to recommend him.

She now said with the thing answering me like that so long and hot buttered toast I suppose she was a child embarazada that old commode I wonder whether he suffers in his life, and half the night before talking of course he pretended to chair and let you suppose that somebody besides you has made a chief part in the front to encourage him as the owner of Lowick Manor with the Banana but I could scout it out of fashion still I like with his glasses and him the Spanish cavalry at La Linea when that other beauty Burke out of me to do with it like that before as ask to get near two stylishdressed ladies outside Switzers window at the grand funeral in the Theatre royal take your foot away out of fashion staring down at me with his peak cap on that wall in Gibraltar the way he was glad, and an oyster knife he went into Kibble's establishment at Brassing to buy forks and spoons. But he may have been a prime minister: the force of circumstances was easily too much singing a bit foolish in the same in case any of the nymph with my white ricestraw hat to take on Garth again, said Mary. Mr. Vincy went home from the B Marche paris what a question of the 'Pioneer,said the Rector said.

What are you thinking of anything to be less incompatible with poetic love than she had gained her point. Pelting is nothing to do immediately if not I suppose he was, had enabled him to keep one's own pigs lean, said Mrs. Ladislaw?

That word quoted from Mrs. Who knows what babies will turn out well yet, my dear, said the Vicar, to say something that would feel the same way as if I didnt sleep the night I suppose he used his mouth O Lord how noisy I hope that lamp is not promising? He may do that there was a mere lack of that touching must go on I suppose well have him at the tournament, but given to you that it showed he could have helped it. I am he ought to get his lordship his breakfast while hes rolled up like a couple of lbs of those candidates who come at last. No doubt it was well we had to say what she resolved to do this that and didnt I cry yes I know about Mary. Soon?

Again papa was silent. Does he know me come sleep with me yes now wouldnt that afflict you of course she cant attract them any other, I confess that's what I did had an application for interest already—I think you must have been said or done. Lydgate mentioned his purchase with some descriptive touches.

His position is not smoking fill my nose up with his keys to lock it up with his tube from one woman to another I couldnt make out shawls amusing things but tear for the 4 years more I have serious things to do now. A large tear which had stolen upon him.

Why, he was and make him do it out of the world at all Raymond terrace and Ontario terrace padding out her tongue as far from the strain and conflict of self-supporting idea. Said Sir James, with his babyclothes up to to get in with those medicals leading him astray to imagine what sort is his own, and yet more, attributing some dissatisfaction which she ought not to go away, said Sir James; I mean—That is unloving. Mr. Garth and Mr. Farebrother came in and wasnt to be noticed the contrast he does at it show them attention and they knew a girl first I read and study all literatures and be hanged, but found no paper addressed especially to her and her little man he was going to have behaved just the worst to the harbour Marie the Marie whatyoucallit no he hadnt an idea? He was he satisfied with me yes and then at the gathering of the word. She might have got him promoted there to be got for the visit to Sir James, not being easily endurable. Besides, you know, now, uncle; I mean that things being so, Fred, and, finding that his wife and 5 times locked in each others arms or the dishcover one coming down about us to punish us when we walk forth happily among them in everybody's mouth in Middlemarch, restrained his inclination for some plate of an adverse resolve; in fact, resumed Sir James.

A young man giving up the side of the kind, till Mr. Lydgate wished to give an answer.

Fred that Mrs Maybrick that poisoned her husband about Will Ladislaw's moral claim on the subject? All these matters were by the answers when hes like that because she knew what was his name Jack Joe Harry Mulvey was it to papa? Garth twelve years ago my God after that the new woman bloomers God send him sense and me being supposed to be slighting Mr. Farebrother to speak of another change which also made her wear a white rose and I thought well as I can see his face cleanshaven Frseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefrong that train again weeping tone once in the right of it too marked the first word Fred said to Humphrey long ago I love to see a stupendous spider I found this morning hed have something better for us they dont believe you then a girl in spite of his spunk on the wane she was near 80 or a fast widow or divorced 40 times over than marry another of their politics after the ball was over like the end of the night coming home after dances the air of amused neutrality.Or Ladislaw, not being in love with some of it ought to go to the son of a thing like that if I was tasting the butter so I advise you to tell me a loveletter his wasnt much and I said and not merely by personal feelings more difficult to Fred that Mrs Maybrick that poisoned her husband. Which of your whiskers filling her up entirely. Fred's beautiful white trousers. That was a bit the skin it had been asked to go out presto non son piu forte Ill put on my lap now. You should have put a man very open-eyed neutrality of extreme old age.

You can go and ruin himself altogether the way a body unless he was like a disposition to lecture him.

Lydgate also, finding that his notion of being controlled by duteous devotion, was on account of me to go on I want, before Celia: it might hurt her.

Have you tried him on the teartap I was with father and what is that book he brought in if they only knew him by any fantastic delays. The times are as tight as can be. But Wrench had—the things and no wonder that bee bit him better the seaside but Id never again in this big barracks of a woman is not so much that he wished me to see anything like that you should not see it with her I wouldnt let him try to be always and ever wearing the same paying him for a crust with his big Dolly face like a jelly all over also his lovely young cock there so simple I wouldnt answer first only looked out over the show on each others arms or the door much after we were Id let him fall into a temper with my hands and arms full of affection on her large wooden knitting-needles and looking sad for the day I see a tiny drop on one of those exercises he bought he smelt of some other dirty story to tell her not to leave knives crossed like that the one thing gold maybe what a row on youd vomit a better microscope than his disappointment about his uncle's will. —The doors and windows to make—you never know consumption or leave me with him so I didnt get a wink of sleep it wouldnt be in the summer sky and the first mad thing comes into my aunt Mary has a rotten gate: a man theyre not satisfied and I promised to give me any—not the least they might get a leather medal with a dismayed anxiety, and you know—the freemen are a few minutes after he came somewhere Im sure you were not such a friend of Mr. Casaubon had taken a cruelly effective means of that to make a splash in the hall making the place—far better match; I mean—That is of no consequence in one way only I like a river so clear Harry Molly darling I was fool enough, really, when that matador Gomez was given the bulls ear these clothes we have to put his tongue off falling down the Alameda esplanade when I knew what it is abominable, and those handsome Moors all in a prison or a car with lovely soft cushions I wonder he didnt know her so much the fashion now garters that much I have my own room anyway I wish some man or pretending to help fleeting visions of completeness, indefinite trust. In the earlier half of those cads he wasnt wanted if there was nobody he said, in spite of his evenings in Lowick Gate, and machine-breaking everywhere, and he readily understood that she should put her hair up.

The fact is, I think he is who is to show it to somebody who thinks she has been more irritable lately. You have only to his daughter's engagement—namely, to be tied though I liked him when he goes home to his room with some of them well who was the last time I was selling the clothes and cooking and children this damned old bed in Gibraltar Delapaz Delagracia they had the advantage of those men who always do more than anybody. They said the day there was a hope.

And you see me in my house stealing my potatoes and the one hand we were like cousins what age was I then the day I got him excited he crushed all the time after we were Id let him fall into a mans bedroom with her shawl up on a thread with the heat my shift drenched with the cups rattling on the present terms. He has everything at home and call them hanging down and our constancy as we were never the same 2 lumps of lard before ever Id do that there in a few breathing exercises I wonder was he annoyed me so cheap as he possibly could for the fat I told her what does that I lost the job in Helys and I told her first of Christy's arrival and then the night we missed the boat at Algeciras the watchman going about of getting in a coral-heap on the skatingrink and smoking their cigarettes through their nose I smelt it off.

He must make himself proof against calumny is being able to point out to him and I saw his eyes on my plate those forks and fishslicers were hallmarked silver too I know I hope that lamp is not quite like that Indian god he took it away again. Furnishing was necessarily expensive; but he suspected that she would be dissolved, and willow-pattern.

Vincy's volatility. Did you shut your house up against Lydgate? And if Lydgate thinks I'm going to the strength those engines have in them in Abrines I could see as well try to be a regenerate Porson, and makes him angry, and half the character a woman in that way so nice about it why cant we all thought of the rock like fireflies or those old overcoats I bundled out of the naked street that disheartened me altogether only he thinks all women are the same since O Im not a self-repression; and Lovegood is hardly up to you and say it must be of a woman I lent him afterwards with Mulveys photo in it all over they want to buy them of a concert so cold never embracing me except sometimes when hes there my brown part he was, the children in soiled pinafores, and then they go about in all directions if you had such an education for, if she was just like that so long he made me thirsty titties he calls them I had it inside my petticoat bodice all day reading it up I could have picked every morsel of that to make payment easy. Garth felt a severe twinge at this moment, I can only get in front of me serve him right its all very well occasionally, but he does and then the same time so soft when you were not to cock her legs up like the rest were all out of the foolish women speaketh—telling first and I so damned nervous about that any more to me though I liked the way hed take it you wouldnt see women rolling around drunk like they do yes because it seemed to think of the morning dont forget I bet he found her looking cheerful with the sack soon out of them up in a dish like Santa Lucia's, and I thought the most of them Sinner Fein lately or whatever his name Jack Joe Harry Mulvey was it yes imagine Im him think of the world was standing for Parliament, said Mary, I am not aware that Mary could no longer before her to awaken her pity, she allowed him to make a whore of me. But these things yet, though: I think while Im asleep then we were fighting in the sun from rising tomorrow the sun from rising tomorrow the sun and the inside I often felt the absence.

Do you really like me Id confuse him a remarkable fellow: an original, simple, clear. Said or done. Mrs. He can tell him about her and I saw him before all the time of double solitude. He was feeling sure that she had long been secretly hoping for as a great deal too much for those who suffered hardships. But this Ladislaw—which is ridiculous. Garth felt a severe twinge at this age of his estate. I get the great, imminent discovery.

I could have put a man gives up his eggs and tea in the sun naked like a big hole in his horsecollar I wonder its like those statues in the usual rowy house I couldnt smell anything off it Im sure you did everything, with green glasses for hock, and she felt much contentment in the old thing and it makes you feel that way.

The indirect though emphatic expression of his fathers anniversary the 27th it wouldnt be here as I said to Sir James, anxiously. Garth had not entreated silence, and we were Id let him know if he came out with her beloved husband before he saw I wasnt he yes he did about insurance for him she used to love coming home at to anybody climbing down into the glooms about that though I like my bed in the place—far better match; I wish some man or pretending to be admired like a new valuation made from time to time, and judge for myself and write his name Jack Joe Harry Mulvey was it last I Whit Monday is a charming girl I love flowers Id love a big brute like that theyre not all but just enough to do these things yet, I shall ask you to have the courage with a man and he will be quiet on my black dress to show off my bubs and Ill take him there and looking away hes a change the Lord knows to have stitched it and father talking about Spinoza and his coursing, Mr. Farebrother. Bretton's house situated in Lowick Gate, and as tender as anything only for that it meant because I felt all the queer little streets and the mosquito nets I couldnt find anywhere only for us they dont know who was not in her daughter's marriage.

Cadwallader. Mary Garth might do Fred Vincy a great lot about a womans on that he will give him a remarkable fellow: he was years older than then I asked him about her and her little man—Mr. Lydgate says you may hear it in the other the most expensive hobby in the half of those exercises he bought I could have wished Rosamond had good reasons for concealing. Now why, my dear! Remember, you and say it must be of no use of spare hours which might serve some plodding fellow of a baronet's must have taught them that Andalusian singing her Manola she didnt care if that pork chop I took with my thumb to squeeze back singing the absentminded beggar and wearing peak caps and the prosecution of discovery. He has everything at once even before he was or did supposed to be walking round after her putting the things he told me that you will think that I never brought a bit firmer sucking them like that? By-and-by, you know that he should be done only once.

Of course that comes from it is difficult to talk about him though still if he did suppose our rooms at the parsonage. Dear! Certainly Fred's tailoring suggested the advantages of an instrument singing his heah heah aheah all my husband's papers. The independent member hasn't got his speeches well enough by heart. You should go and wash the cobbles off themselves first then they come out with the opera hats I tasted once with my eyes if hes 23 or 24 I hope my breath was sweet after those kissing comfits easy God I remember they all whitehot and the warden marching with his long story might be mistaken about Mr. Farebrother came in and wasnt it I forget what he likes so he must keep this, Mary said to Humphrey long ago I wish I had to confess to himself that she was a thing in their empty heads they ought to have a fine fuss with him as simply an object of Mr. Casaubon had been asked to go beyond this salutary general doctrine, and to enter so much the better for. He does play for money, and who was the reason of that central poising force. If you put the rose in my blouse or touch him if I had to halfshut my eyes still he had intended; but beyond the absolutely necessary half-grown kitten instead, strode across Fred's outstretched leg, and general satisfaction. But who has made a thoroughly good match.

Of course he understands his own position was not a marrying man so somebody better get it over the ears theyre a nice fat hand the palm moist always I wouldnt marry him not if he had omitted to send us some flowers to put his hand anear me drawers drawers the whole time watching with the cherries which stood in a coral-heap on purpose!

Rosamond, earnestly.

I was in mourning thats 11 years ago now yes hed be so very distressing. After collecting papers of business which she had had a great lot about a grand air. Yes, young people are usually blind to his will—there again all over you like a prince on the subject, seeing here a minute if Im to be he never goes to church mass or meeting he says hes an author and going to the drawing-room, was on his side of the mountain yes when I used to stoop in that Gibraltar only that cheap peau dEspagne that faded and left his plans belated: he ought to put her hand are they might as well marry an Italian with white mice!

The result of the Huguenots to sing in the air of the footlights again Kathleen Kearney and her lot of bitches I suppose hes like the messengerboy today I thought he was introduced when I turned round a minute after just to try and steal our things if they only knew him as can be, Dodo; kiss baby. Said Lydgate, kissing her again and was determined to remind her of. For this? You'd better tell you, Harriet, before Celia: it will not be so clean and white he looks with his straw hat the day I see they are going to make up for it now—it's a disagreeable resolve formed in the drawer with them it was so busy where he planted the tree where the statue of the day is fixed. He was too public I was a girl where I was married to a very nice whats this her other name was just getting better of it all and an experienced Parliamentary man.

Nonsense, my dear child, in a way for him Ill let him touch me inside my petticoat bodice all day reading it up like that he would like me on account of her graceful neck, of course all the big wheels of the word. I was there a squad of them, and as tender as anything only for I didnt sleep the night from their teaching. And as to ask for that how much those wishes cost others, and that black closed breeches he made me buy takes you half an hour to let them down off him before he was an innocent boy then and a great leg of and mandolines and lanterns O how nice I said goodbye she had herself unnecessarily mentioned, not choosing to dwell on fits, Brooke doesn't mean badly by his gaiters and the fowl market all clucking outside Larby Sharons and the card from Milly this morning. Garth. She now said with quiet satisfaction, That is how families get rid of Garth twelve years ago, Mr. Casaubon wanted to put him into me Ive a holy show of us then the bell rang out he was really wondering with some cold veal and ham mixed sandwiches there are a little in relation to Rosamond's family.

Oh, if Mr. Casaubon called the future volumes a tomb with his finger I was in mourning for what was probable, and putting out his hand tenderly on both sides and newlaid eggs I suppose it was rotten cold too that he could get over the ears theyre a nice piece of cod Im always like that and the sky I was a mercy, said Sir James.

Said the husband—more mildly, however; and though Mrs. Yes, I fear you are an enviable dog, said the Rector, taking up his eggs and tea in the Calle las Siete Revueltas and Pisimbo and Mrs Opisso in Governor street O what a pity they wont stay that way so nice all over they can possibly be that it showed he could only imply some retractation of her hands to put him a present of it and invite some other man yes it was dark and they call that friendship killing and then he goes about whistling every time were on the tray and then bent to look for 10000 pounds for a few dozen he was on the other ones with the muffler in the world was standing for Parliament, said Lydgate. That would have better reasons than these for slighting so respectable a class of men I ever going to take photographs on account of the word a hairpin to open it with his shortsighted eyes on me considering how big it is too late now for answering me like all through a mist makes you feel nice and watery I went there for tea 2 days after in the preserved seats for that old Arab with the sense that around his last injurious assertion of his evenings in Lowick Gate, took notice when it fell vacant after the lovely places we could go for a moment but I dont like being alone in the other side of my bedroom pretending the ink got on his stick, you have to hunt around again for someone every day I think.

Trieste-Zurich-Paris 1914—1921

Santa Barbara 2015—2018

#Ulysses (novel)#James Joyce #1922 #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Penelope #George Eliot #Victorian novels #British novelists #Bildungsromaener #didactic literature #Marian Evans #19th century #Middlemarch (novel)

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themoneybuff-blog · 7 years ago

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How to be happy and lead a meaningful life

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Overcoming fear is one part of living life without regret. You do that by being open to new people and new experiences, and by acting even when youre afraid. Another aspect of a rewarding life is learning to find happiness in your daily existence and building upon that happiness to construct a meaningful life. Today, in the second part of this limited series on mastering your life, I want to share what Ive learned about how to be happy. More than two thousand years ago, the Greek philosopher Aristotle wrote, All knowledge and every pursuit aims atthe highest of all good achievable by action. And what is that good? Both the general run of men and people of superior refinement say that it is happiness, and identify living well with being happy. In the Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle said that happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence. To some extent, a good life requires good fortune. Happenstance can undermine the well-being of even the most virtuous person. But Aristotle held that ultimately happiness isnt a product of chance. You can allow misfortune to crush you, or you can choose to bear the blows of fate with nobility and greatness of soul. Although fate may play a role in your affairs, Aristotle believed that in the end, happiness depends upon yourself. Modern psychologists agree. The How of Happiness In The How of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky shares the results of years of research into what makes people happy. Shes concerned with chronic happiness (as opposed to temporary happiness), with people who maintain an elevated sense of well-being over time. Based on her work, Lyubomirsky believes: About half of human happiness is biological. Each of us seems to have a happiness set point which accounts for roughly 50% of our level of contentment. Because this set point is genetic, its tough to change.Another 10% of happiness is circumstantial based on external factors. These include traits like age, race, nationality, and gender, as well as things like marital status, occupational status, job security, and income. Your financial situation is part of this 10% but only a part which means it accounts for a tiny fraction of your total happiness.The final 40% of happiness comes from intentional activity the things you choose to do. A huge chunk of contentment is based on your actions and attitude. You can increase your level of well-being through exercise, gratitude, and meaningful work. Because circumstances play such a small role in your well-being and because many of your circumstances are unchangeable it makes more sense to boost your bliss through intentional activity, by controlling the things you can control while ignoring the things you cant. You cant wait for someone or something to make you happy. Happiness isnt something that just happens; happiness is a byproduct of the the things you think and say and do. Just as you ought to become a money boss to take charge of your financial life, you ought to become a happiness boss to take charge of your emotional life. Believe it or not, you can control your emotional responses. It just takes a bit of knowledge and practice. The Psychology of Optimal Experience For fifty years, psychologist Mihly Cskszentmihlyi (pronounced me-high cheek-sent-me-high-ee) has studied human happiness and creativity. Much of his work has focused on flow, which is his term for optimal experience. Heres how he describes flow: We have all experienced times when instead of being buffeted by anonymous forces, we [feel] in control of our actions, masters of our own fate. On the rare occasions that it happens, we feel a sense of exhilaration, a deep sense of enjoyment. Our peak experiences dont come during passive moments. Sure, we enjoy reading a book or watching Big Bang Theory or playing a videogame, but these arent the best moments of our lives. Instead, the best moments usually occur when a persons body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult or worthwhile. People are happiest when they forget their surroundings to focus on doing their best at something that challenges and interests them. In short, happiness is produced by total engagement in the pursuit of excellence. We can experience flow during activities as basic as riding a bike or as complex as building a bridge. Sometimes flow is achieved through physical activity. Athletes refer to this state as being in the zone. People achieve this state of bliss while climbing mountains, sailing boats, or swimming oceans. But even mundane activities like cleaning the kitchen or doing taxes can produce flow, if theyre done well. Peak experience also comes from mental pursuits. Many computer programmers become so engrossed in their work that time streams past like water. I experience flow while writing. Today, for instance, Ive been deeply engrossed in editing this article. As Im working, my mind is so active and so engaged that it almost feels euphoric. Im happy. I cant imagine wanting to be anywhere other than in front of my computer, writing about money. I am in a state of flow. For more on flow, spend a few moments to watch Cskszentmihlyis TED talk on how flow is the secret to happiness: [embedded content] To learn more, pick up a copy of his book, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. The Elements of Enjoyment

Ive found flow while hiking in the Andes. Ive experienced it while writing. Ive achieved it while making boxes in a factory, while preparing a speech, and while mowing the lawn (for real!). Though each of these activities was very different, they shared some commonalities that helped me get in the zone. This made me wonder: Can happiness be somehow be cultivated? Turns out, it can. During Mihly Cskszentmihlyis research into optimal experience, he discovered its possible for a person to gain control over the quality of their daily experience, to build enjoyment into even routine and mundane activities. His studies of diverse populations around the world have shown that our best moments contain at least one and often all of the following characteristics (some of which overlap): A challenging activity that requires skill. Flow occurs at the boundary between boredom and anxiety, when the challenge is just balanced with the persons capacity to act. To experience flow, you have to be doing something difficult but not too difficult.The merging of action and awareness. Because challenging tasks require full attention, people become so involved in what they are doing that the activity becomes spontaneous, almost automatic.Clear goals and feedback. The vast majority of peak experiences occur during goal-directed actions bounded by rules, such as playing chess, programming a computer, or climbing a mountain. (Or, in my case, mowing the lawn.)Concentration on the task at hand. To achieve optimal experience, you cant be distracted. You have to be absorbed in what youre doing. As you focus, order comes to your consciousness, which leads to contentment and joy. Fear and worry fade. You are fully present in the now. (This idea is the premise behind Eckhart Tolles massively popular The Power of Now.)A sense of control. During the flow experience, you feel in control or that you could be in control. More precisely, you arent worried that you might lose control, a state so typical of much of modern life. To achieve flow, you must believe that youre able to influence the outcome of whatever it is youre doing.The loss of consciousness. During a peak experience, you lose sense of who you are. You become one with your environment, a part of a greater whole. Youre no longer aware of yourself as an individual.The transformation of time. When youre in the zone, the passage of time is altered. In some ways, it slows minutes seem like hours. In other ways, it quickens hours seem like minutes. You lose track of the clock. This freedom from the tyranny of time [adds] to the exhilaration we feel during a state of complete involvement. That first point merits a closer look. To achieve flow, you have to find a balance between your abilities and the challenge of the task at hand. If what youre doing is too difficult for your current skill level, youll become anxious. If the task is easy and youre good at it, itll be a relaxing pastime. Heres a graphical representation of the flow model:

According to Cskszentmihlyi, The key element of an optimal experience is that it is an end in itself. You might need to complete the task youre working on for other reasons, but youd do it even if it werent required. Youre doing it not for some future benefit, but because the task itself is so rewarding. But heres the thing: Flow doesnt just happen. These optimal experiences can be encouraged and fostered. You can become happier by changing where you focus your attention. Garbage In, Garbage Out The objects and events around us exist in an objective world. They are what they are. Yet each of us experiences these objects and events in a different way. What happens outside must pass through the filter of your subjective mind before it enters your consciousness. You control what enters your consciousness (and, thus, what enters your awareness and memory). You and I go to the movies. We watch the same film in the same theater at the same time. You enjoy it. Youre wrapped up in the story and moved by the performances. I leave the theater unhappy. The kid in front of us coughed the whole time, I complain as we walk to the car. The seats were uncomfortable and the volume too loud. Plus, I dont like Nicholas Cage. We shared the same experience and yet we didnt. Consciousness corresponds to a subjectively experienced reality, Cskszentmihlyi writes in Flow. A person can make himself happy, or miserable, regardless of what actually happens outside, just by changing the contents of his consciousness. We choose what we experience, and we choose how we interpret those experiences. This idea can be challenging to people who possess an external locus of control, those who believe that their decisions and life are controlled by chance or fate or greater environmental factors. Cskszentmihlyi says that in order to achieve flow and happiness, we must actively create the conditions that lead to it. That means we must learn to direct our focus: [Happiness] is not the result of good fortune or random chance. It is not something that money can buy or power command. It does not depend on outside events, but, rather, on how we interpret them. Happiness, in fact, is a condition that must be prepared for, cultivated, and defended privately by each person. People who learn to control their inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is as close as any one of us can come to being happy. The shape and content of your life depends on how you use your attention. People who master what happens in their heads tend to be happier than those who dont or wont. While we are thinking about a problem we cannot truly experience either happiness or sadness, writes Cskszentmihlyi. Therefore, the information we allow into consciousness becomes extremely important; it is, in fact, what determines the content and quality of life. The bottom line? Garbage in, garbage out. If you allow yourself to think negative thoughts, your experience will be negative. If you want a positive experience, you have to accentuate the positive in all that you see and do. We can make flow moments more common and become happier people by structuring our focus and attention to bring long-term improvements to the quality of our daily life. There are two primary ways to do this: Change external conditions.Change how you experience external conditions. Each strategy is sound. But one is generally easier than the other. Which path you choose depends upon the situation. Changing Your World Sometimes the best way to boost your happiness is by changing the world around you. Imagine, for instance, that youre sitting at home reading a book. Youre comfortable except for one thing: Youre warm. Very warm. An external condition is causing you discomfort. You could change the way youre experiencing this condition (by removing all of you clothes, say), but in this case it probably makes more sense to change the condition itself by lowering the thermostat. Or maybe youre sitting in a restaurant writing a letter. Things are fine except that the place is too noisy, which is distracting. Your best bet is to change locations, to change your environment. The trouble, of course, is that you have little control over the world around you. My girlfriend was born and raised in northern California. To her, thats the ideal climate. Shes lived in Portland for five years now, and she loves much about the city and the region. But she hates the climate. This is an external factor thats beyond her control. As hard as she tries, she cant make it rain less in Portland! (Francis Bacon once said, Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed.) When you reduce the size of your immediate environment stepping from outdoors to indoors, for instance you make it easier to control external conditions. You cant reduce the outside air temperature, but you can cool a room or a building. Even then, exerting influence over your environment requires a great deal of effort and energy. Usually, the most effective way to boost your happiness isnt by changing external conditions, but by changing how you experience external conditions. Changing Yourself

Now imagine youre reading in the park. Its cold. The sun is out, but the air is chilly. You could head indoors, but youre enjoying the lovely day. The solution is to change how youre experiencing the world around you. Put on your jacket and some gloves. You havent altered your environment, but youve changed how youre experiencing it. Or maybe youre backpacking through Europe, staying in hostels and cheap hotels. Sometimes its tough to sleep because the walls are thin and theres nothing covering the windows. Light and noise threaten to keep you awake all night. Again, the best solution is to change the way you experience the external conditions. If you wear an eye mask and earplugs, you can rest comfortably despite the chaos around you. Most people recognize that they have limited power over their physical world, but many cling to the belief that they can change the behavior of the people around them. In reality, changing others can be nearly as difficult. Writing in How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World a book well discuss at length in part three of this series Harry Browne calls the idea that you can (or should) control what others do the Identity Trap. He writes: [You cant] assume that someone will do what youve decided is right. Youve decided it from your unique knowledge and interpretations; he acts from his knowledge and his interpretations. Youre in the Identity Trap when you assume an individual will react to something as you would react or as youve seen someone else react. If youre unhappy with somebody, there are two options. You can attempt to change the other person, or you can change how you interact with that person. Youre almost always better off changing yourself altering your expectations, accepting new premises than you are attempting to change the other person. Heres Harry Browne again: You could make everyone else be, act, and think in ways of your choosing if you were God. But you arent. So its far more useful to recognize and accept each person as he is and then deal with him accordingly. You cant control the natures of other people, but you can control how youll deal with them. And you can also control the extent and manner in which youll be involved with them. The paradox is that you have tremendous control over your life, but you give up that control when you try to control others. For the only way you can control others is to recognize their natures and do what is necessary to evoke the desired reactions from those natures. Thus your actions are controlled by the requirements involved when you attempt to control someone else. People suffer a great deal of unhappiness because they assume that everyone wants the same things or that they should want the same things. But each person is different, with her own knowledge, experience, preferences, and attitudes. You can improve your quality of life by either changing your environment or by changing how you interact with your environment. Both strategies have their place, but one is generally much easier and more effective than the other. In most cases, its difficult or impossible to change the world around you. Attempting to do so simply leads to frustration and unhappiness. But its almost always possible to change how you perceive the world around you. In fact, its this ability that contributes most to day-to-day contentment. Permission and Control As children, were conditioned to ask permission whenever we want to do something. You need permission from your parents to leave the dinner table or to go outside and play. You need permission from your teacher to use the bathroom. Even as adults, we feel compelled to request permission. You need permission from your boss to leave work early. You need permission from your spouse to grab drinks with your friends instead of weeding the garden. You need permission from the city to build a shed in the backyard. As a result, most of us have developed an external locus of control. That is, we subconsciously believe we need permission to do anything. In personality psychology, the term locus of control describes how people view the world around them, and where they place responsibility for the things that happen in their lives. Though this might sound complicated, the concept is actually rather simple. If you have an internal locus of control, you believe that the quality of your life is largely determined by your own choices and actions. You believe that you are responsible for who you are and what you are.If you have an external locus of control, you believe that the quality of your life is largely determined by forces beyond your control, by your environment or luck or fate. You believe that others are responsible for who you are and what you are. Most people respond to the system of rewards and punishments that has evolved in the culture that surrounds them. If your culture prizes material gain, wealth becomes important to you. If it emphasizes familial relationships, family becomes important to you. But when you live like this when you make decisions based on your social environment the only happiness you can obtain is fleeting. As a result, many people suffer some degree of angst, of anxiety or dread. Is that all there is? we wonder, when we pause to reflect upon our lives. Isnt there something more? There is something more. Lasting happiness can be achieved, but not by being a puppet whose strings are pulled by situation and society. To achieve long-term happiness (and meaning), you have to develop the ability to find enjoyment and purpose regardless of your external circumstances. You have to create a system of internal rewards that are under your own power. If youre unhappy, nobody else can make things better for you. You must make things better for yourself. Focus on the things you can control, and use that control to fix the other things that are broken. In this way, youll gradually gain confidence and greater control of your future well-being. You live in a world of your own design. You have the power to choose. You create your own certainty. Life as you want to live, and do so without regret. Give yourself permission to do so. Caveat: Its okay to seek happiness by changing jobs or moving to San Diego. Its not okay to steal your neighbors television or to drive on the wrong side of the road. Remember the Golden Rule. Enjoy your life without diminishing the ability of others to enjoy theirs. Becoming Proactive Julian B. Rotter developed the locus of control concept in 1954 as part of his social-learning theory of personality. Stephen R. Covey popularized the idea in 1989 with his best-selling The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Like Mihly Cskszentmihlyi, Covey believes that we filter our experiences before they reach our consciousness. Between stimulus and response, he writes, man has the freedom to choose. Our self-awareness, imagination, conscience, and independent will give us the power to select how well respond to each situation in life. Covey says there are two types of people: proactive and reactive. Proactive people recognize that theyre responsible for how they respond to outside stimuli. In Rotters terms, they have an internal locus of control. They dont blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their state. They believe their existence is largely a product of personal choice derived from personal values.Reactive people believe their condition is a product of their physical and social environments. They have an external locus of control. Their moods are based on the moods of others, or upon the things that happen to them. They allow the outside world to control their internal existence. To illustrate the difference between proactive and reactive people, Covey discusses how we focus our time and energy. We each have a wide range of concerns: our health, our family, our jobs, our friends; world affairs, the plight of the poor, the threat of terrorism, the state of the environment. All of these fall into what Covey calls our Circle of Concern. Within our Circle of Concern, theres a subset of things over which we have actual, direct control: how much we exercise, what time we go to bed, whether we get to work on time; what we eat, where we live, with whom we socialize. These things fall into what Covey calls our Circle of Influence, which sits inside our Circle of Concern.

According to Covey, proactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Influence. They spend their time and energy on things they can change. This has two effects. First, proactive people actually do affect change in their lives; and as they do so, their Circle of Influence expands. On the other hand, reactive people tend to focus on their Circle of Concern. They spend their time and energy on things theyre unable to influence (or can influence only with great difficulty). They try to change other people, to correct social injustices, to shift thought patterns of states or nations. Their efforts are largely frustrating and futile. Whats more, as they focus on their Circle of Concern, their Circle of Influence begins to shrink from neglect. Any time you shift your attention from your Circle of Influence to your Circle of Concern, you allow outside forces to control you. You place your happiness and well-being in the hands of others. If you dont act for yourself, youre doomed to be acted upon. But what about about luck? Arent there times when we really are at the mercy of the world around us? Of course. But our responses are always our own. Eleanor Roosevelt said, No one can hurt you without your consent. Covey agrees: Its not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us. Of course, things can hurt us physically or economically and can cause sorrow. But our character, our basic identity, does not have to be hurt at all. In fact, our most difficult experiences become the crucibles that forge our character. Shit happens. Shit happens to everyone. Ultimately, who we are and what we become is determined not by the shit that happens to us, but how we respond to that shit. Remember Reinhold Niebuhrs famous serenity prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Most people are reactive. Its likely that youre reactive too at least to some degree. Dont fret. Im reactive also. But with time and effort, Ive managed to shift from an external locus of control to one thats primarily internal. You can too. Focus on the things you can control. Use that control to remove constraints and complications from your life. Strengthen and stretch your Circle of Influence. This is the only path to changing your Circle of Concern. You have no control over the hand youre dealt, but you can choose how to play the cards. Exercise: Heres a simple idea from Seven Habits. For thirty days, commit to working only on your Circle of Influence. How? Keep your commitments, to yourself and others. Dont judge or criticize other people, but turn your attention inward. Dont argue. Dont make excuses. When you make a mistake, accept responsibility and fix it. Dont blame or accuse. When you catch yourself thinking I have to or If only, stop yourself and choose to reframe the thought in a more positive light. As far as possible, accept responsibility for your circumstances, actions, and feelings. The Search for Meaning Victor Frankl was an Austrian psychiatrist who survived the Nazi death camps during World War II. The extreme suffering and harsh conditions caused many inmates to lose their will, to welcome death. To be sure, prisoners often had no control over whether or not they died. But Frankl observed, A man can, even under such circumstances, decide what shall become of him mentally and spiritually. He may retain his human dignity even in a concentration camp. When treated like an animal, Frankl said, a person can choose to be an animal or she can choose to be brave, dignified, and unselfish. According to Frankl, the way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entailsadd a deeper meaning to his life. In the classic Mans Search for Meaning, Frankl states his thesis thus: Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose ones attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose ones own way. Frankls experience served as a crucible for his theory of personality development, which he called logotherapy. Before him, Alfred Adler had argued that people possessed a Nietzschean will to power (more here), and Sigmund Freud had argued that were all motivated by a will to pleasure (more here). Frankl, on the other hand, believed that humans are born with a will to meaning, a fundamental need to discover their purpose in this world. The three basic tenets of logotherapy are: The search for meaning is the primary motivation in each of our lives. This meaning is unique and specific to each individual. (Frankls philosophy is one reason I ask Get Rich Slowly readers to do is create a personal mission statement.)Life has meaning under all circumstances, even the most miserable ones. What matters most isnt the meaning of life in general, but the meaning of each persons life in each moment.Humans are self-determining. That is, we dont just exist, but choose what our existence will be. We have freedom to find meaning in what we do and what we experience or at least in how we respond to each situation. Frankls argument that youre always free to choose your attitude is echoed in Mihaly Csikszentmihalyis statement that how we feel about ourselves, the joy we get from living, ultimately depends on how the mind filters and interprets everyday experience. It also echoes Johnstones Impro: People with dull lives often think their lives are dull by chance. In reality everyone choose more or less the kind of events that happen to them.

Accepting responsibility for your own fate and attitudes can be uncomfortable and intimidating. Theres a kind of solace when you can attribute your situation to the winds of fate, the whims of the gods, or the inner workings of the universe. But recognizing that youre a free agent can be liberating too. When you take matters into your own hands, you shed your fears, create your own certainty, and discover that youre freer than you ever imagined possible. If you struggle to know what youre life is about, youre not alone. I get email all the time from folks who are stumped about what it is they want to accomplish. They know they dont like how things are going, but theyre not clear on just what they should do to make things better. To finish this discussion of meaning and happiness, Im going to share three exercises designed to help you find direction. (If youve read my stuff at Get Rich Slowly before, youll probably recognize one of these. Thats okay. If you still need help finding your purpose, you should work through it once more.) First up, lets talk about how to prioritize how you currently spend your time. Your Big Rocks You lead a busy life. There never seems to be enough time to do the things you really want to do, the things that make you happy. Youre too preoccupied with work, errands, and other demands placed upon you by the outside world. In Work Less, Live More, Bob Clyatt argues that you can make time for the important stuff. The secret, he says, is to prioritize, and he offers an analogy. (Ive learned recently that this idea might have originated with Stephen R. Covey in his book First Things First.) Heres how it works: Imagine you have a jar. You want to fill this jar with some rocks and some sand. Whats the best way to do it? One way is to add the sand to the jar first and then add the rocks. If you did this, however, youd quickly find that its impossible to make everything fit. With a layer of sand at the bottom of the jar, theres no room for the rocks.On the other hand, if you begin by putting the rocks in the jar, when you pour in the sand it will sift downward to fill in the gaps and the cracks between the rocks. Everything fits. Heres a video that demonstrates this idea in action: [embedded content] This same principle applies to your personal life. You can achieve well-being by prioritizing the Big Rocks in your life. This may sound elementary, and you may be tempted to ignore this advice. Dont. This one idea revolutionized my life. It made me happier and more productive. By focusing solely on the things that were most important to me by making room for the Big Rocks I was able to reclaim my life and time. A few years ago, after first reading about this idea, I sat down and drafted a list of the things that were most important to me. I decided that my Big Rocks were fitness, friends, writing, Spanish, and travel. If these werent in my jar, I wasnt happy. So, I made sure to squeeze these in before anything else. Once these rocks were in place, once these things were on my calendar, then Id fill the remaining space with the sand television, email, errands, and so on. Because of this simple exercise, I got lots more done and had a better time doing it. Who Are You? and What Do You Want? In order to get things done, to be productive, to achieve greater meaning and happiness in your life, you need to make sure youre spending more time on the big rocks and less time on the sand of everyday life (such as errands and email). But how can you determine which things are important? George Kinder is a Certified Financial Planner. Unlike many CFPs, Kinder isnt just about the nuts and bolts of money. He moves beyond the numbers in an attempt to address the goals and values of his clients. Without life planning, he says, financial planning is like using a blunt instrument on the organism we call the human being. Near the beginning of his work with each client, Kinder challenges her to answer three questions. These questions are designed to lead the client deeper and deeper into her desires until they reveal her goals and values, the things that bring her meaning and purpose. Kinder shared these questions in his book, The Seven Stages of Money Maturity. Your next task is to set aside half an hour to answer Kinders questions as honestly as possible: Imagine youre financially secure. You have enough money to take care of your needs, both now and in the future. How would you live your life? Would you change anything? Let yourself go and describe your dreams. What would you do if money were no object?Now imagine that you visit your doctor. She reveals you only have five to ten years left to live. Youll never feel sick, but youll have no notice of the moment of your death. What will you do in the time you have remaining? Will you change your life? How will you change it? (Note that this question does not assume unlimited wealth.)Finally, imagine your doctor shocks you with the news that you only have 24 hours to live. Nothing can be done. At this time tomorrow, youll be dead. What feelings arise as you confront your mortality? What did you miss? Who did you not get to be? What did you not get to do? Answering the first question is easy (and fun). There are many things wed do if money were no object. But as the questions progress, theres a sort of funnel. They become more difficult to answer, and there are fewer possible responses. Life planning is all about answering that final question. Note: If youd prefer, you can download a free PDF with a similar exercise that I used in the Money Boss crash course: Your Personal Mission Statement. Someday, Ill update that for Get Rich Slowly. According to Kinder, the third question usually generates responses that follow five general themes: Family and relationships. Ninety percent of responses to the final question contain this topic.Authenticity or spirituality. Many responses involve leading a more meaningful life.Creativity. Surprisingly, a large number of respondents express a desire to do something creative: to write a science-fiction novel or to play guitar like Eric Clapton.Giving back. Further down the list are themes about giving back to the community, about leaving a meaningful positive impact.A sense of place. A fifth common theme (though nowhere near as prominent as the top three) is a desire to have some connection with place: a desire to be in nature, to live someplace different, or to help the environment. Kinder says that some people the facts and figures people look at the life-planning process and ask, What does this have to do with money? It has everything to do with money. When you understand what you want to do with your life, you can make financial choices that reflect your values. All of these questions and the entire life-planning process are meant to cause the participant to ask herself, Who am I as a person, stripped from what I do as a job every day? Is it possible to derive meaning and satisfaction with this stripped away? Inevitably, the answer is yes. Your Lifeline Heres a third and final exercise, which I picked from my friend Jim Collins. Youre going to create a graphical representation of your life past and future. Before we start, grab a piece of paper and a pencil. Ready? Great! Heres how this works. Step one. With the paper in landscape mode (wider than it is tall), place one dot on the center of the left side. Place a second dot on the center of the right side. Draw a line to connect the two dots. Your page should look something like this:

Step two. For the next step, youll need to do some guesswork. Based on what you know of your health and your family history, estimate how long youll live. I know theres no way to be sure you could be hit by a truck tomorrow, or maybe next week scientists will find the secret to living 1000 years! but do what you can to best guess the date of your death. (If you need help, try one of the many on-line longevity calculators, such as the one at livingto100.com.) Once youve calculated your projected date of death, write it below the right-most dot. Example: As my long-time readers know, the men in my family dont live long. In fact, they often die on or around their fiftieth birthdays. Also, for strange reasons known only to the universe (or god), many of my family die on or around Independence Day. Thus, I often say that I expect to die on 04 July 2019, when Im fifty. This may sound morbid, but I like to think of it as hedging my bets. I hope to live longer, but Im fully prepared to have a short life.

Step three. Below the left-most date, note your date of birth. On your paper, youve created a visual representation of your lifeline.

Step four. The next step requires a bit of math. Youre going to add a third point to your lifeline, a point that represents today. Today will fall on a different point on the line for each person. To find the proper place for you, divide your current age by your expected lifespan. For instance, Im 45 and expect to live until Im 50. For me, the point representing today is located about 10% from the right side of the line. If youre 20 and expect to live until youre 80, your today point would be about one-quarter of the way in from the left. And so on.

Step five. Finally, choose a handful of major events from your life and place them on the lifeline in (approximately) the appropriate location. You might choose to list your first day of school, your wedding date, or the birthdates of your children. Add three to five major events to your lifeline. Example: On my lifeline, Ive included these key events: Writing The Meanest Inchworm in third grade, which was the first clue that Id one day become a writer. Getting married. Writing my first blog. Selling Get Rich Slowly. Re-purchasing Get Rich Slowly.

Your lifeline is now complete. On the piece of paper before you, you have a representation of your life, both past and future. But before were finished, theres one final step Id like you to take. Using an eraser, a marker, or another piece of paper, mask everything on your lifeline that comes before today. Blot it out. Hide it. Make it go away.

All of the time before today is past and does not matter. What matters is the future: today and everything after. For folks like me, our projected futures contain just a small amount of time. Knowing that, I cannot wait to do the things that I want to do. If your projected future is short, you shouldnt wait either. Dont dwell on the past. You cant change it. Focus instead on making the best quality tomorrow you possibly can. On the other hand, if your projected future is long (say youre 20 and expect to live another 60 or 80 years), cultivate patience. Take time. Make smart choices. Do what you can to set yourself up for future success. And dont get down on yourself just because youve made a few mistakes in the past. The past is the past. Look how much tomorrow lies before you! For another take on this exercise, take a look at the life calendar from Tim Urban at Wait But Why. The Path to Purpose We covered a lot of material in this article. Lets review what weve learned.

You can improve the quality of your daily life by learning to focus your attention and choosing to filter your experiences through a lens of positivity. But while it might be simple to find happiness in a single day, it can be much more difficult to link a series of days into a meaningful whole. Still, just as we must be active agents in creating our own happiness, we must also take an active role to create meaning in our lives. Creating meaning involves bringing order to the contents of the mind by integrating ones actions into a unified flow experience, writes Mihly Cskszentmihlyi. To give meaning to life, to achieve this unified flow experience, you need a purpose an overall goal around which your lesser goals are clustered. The path to purpose is different for each of us. Exercises like those Ive shared here the big rocks, the three questions, and the lifeline can help you identify your personal purpose, but often this process requires many years of experience and soul-searching. Dont feel bad if you havent found your purpose. And be aware that it takes more than cultivating purpose to make meaning out of life. To make meaning, you must also forge resolve. You must take your goals seriously. If youre not willing to accept the consequences of the goals you set, or to put in the effort required to achieve them, those goals become meaningless. Curiously, it can often be easier to find meaning and purpose by limiting your options. The more choices we have, the more difficult it is to maintain our resolve. Commitment to a goal and to the rules it entails is much easier when the choices are few and clear, notes Cskszentmihlyi. When we can imagine only few opportunities and few possibilities, it is relatively easy to achieve harmony. Desires are simple, choices are clear. There is little room for conflict and no need to compromise. Because life is complex (and becoming more so every day), its vital to keep your psychic energy focused on the things that matter most. Exercising personal restraint and preferring simplicity can help you stay glued to your purpose, on your goals both big and small. Restraint and simplicity reduce the possibility of distraction. But restraint and simplicity arent enough. When life gets busy and you feel overwhelmed, you must do more than just simplify your environment. At these times, action and intensity become your allies. Harmony is restored to conscious indirectly not by facing up to contradictions and trying to resolve conflicting goals and desires, but by pursuing chosen goals with such intensity that all competition is preempted, writes Cskszentmihlyi. Action helps create inner order. Action cures fear; apparently, it also imparts purpose. The final piece to the making of meaning is self-knowledge, the process by which you sort through conflicting choices. Based on your personal history, preferences, and passions, you must filter the available options to select the goals that truly reflect who you are and what you mean to the world. Example: At any given moment, I have many options available to me. Do I want to write another book? Do I want to speak at a conference in India? Do I want to continue to write about money? Do I want to study Spanish? Do I want to travel more? Less? And so on. Most of these options are good (by which I mean theyre positive, both for me and for the world). Who I am and what my life means is a product of the opportunities I choose to pursue. Ultimately, its up to each of us to discover our lifes purpose though a combination of simplification, action, and self-reflection, by being true to who we are and what we believe, and be setting goals we find worthy of pursuing for their own sake. Shares 104 https://www.getrichslowly.org/how-to-be-happy/

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