#but if you have any questions or just want to talk about art !!!!!!
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hoe4hotchner · 3 days ago
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Not worth the tears | [A.H]
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Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x gn!Reader | WC: 1.6k  | CW: Angst, no use of Y/N, mention of cheating, reader was dating a man, crying.| Summary: reader got cheated on - Hotch is there to pick up the pieces
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The weight of your phone felt heavier than it should have in your hand as you stared at the screen. The text was still there, glaring at you, a brief, emotionless exchange that had just ended your relationship. You couldn't feel much, not at first. There was shock, a numbness that spread through your body like ice. Your partner had cheated— of all things he had cheated. And it wasn’t even a messy confession or an argument where the truth slipped out. It had been revealed so casually like it didn’t matter.
Your thumbs had moved faster than your brain, sending a few bitter replies before cutting off contact completely. Now, you sat alone at your desk, a dull ache blooming in your chest, your breath shallow. He had taken all the air out of your lungs and drained every bit of hope you had put into him. The thought circled through your mind—I tried. I tried for him. I gave everything, but it wasn’t enough.
Your fingers hovered over the keyboard, trembling slightly. The words blurred on the screen, and you blinked back the tears clouding your vision. That was it. It was over. You stared at the empty chat thread—his response was short, dismissive, almost as if what had happened didn’t matter. As if you didn’t matter.
You rubbed your hands over your face, trying to swallow the knot in your throat. You were supposed to be working—on a case, of all things—but the walls of the BAU felt tighter than ever. The world outside of this room, outside of the text that had wrecked your day, seemed far away.
As you leaned back in your chair, your thoughts spun—how long had it been going on? Did the moments you’d spent together mean anything at all? The memories felt tainted now, like ink smeared across a once beautiful piece of art. You'd done everything right. You tried to make it work. But it was over. And it was time to face that truth, even though it burned.
It felt like a punch to the gut, that revelation. He had betrayed you in the worst way possible, and all you got in return was a half-hearted apology and an empty text saying it wasn’t a big deal. You should’ve seen it coming, right? But you’d held on, hoping that things could change, that he could change, despite the cracks that had started to show months ago.
The pain was suffocating. You stood up from your desk, pacing the room, trying to shake off the weight pressing down on your chest. But it wasn’t going away. It was just getting worse. You'd loved him, believed in him, and he tossed you aside like you were nothing. He'd broken you in ways you never thought possible, and now you had to pick up the pieces.
Again.
Your thoughts spiraled as you stared out of the window, lost in a haze of disbelief and hurt. You wanted to scream, to throw something, anything, to just feel something other than this emptiness inside. The room felt too small, too confining, and your heart ached like it was splitting in two. Maybe it was. Maybe that’s what happens when you give someone everything, and they rip it all apart.
The glass door into the BAU creaked open, and Hotch’s presence filled the room before you could even look up. He stepped inside, his brow furrowed, as usual, a file in hand. His eyes scanned over you, a practiced intensity in them, as though he was ready to talk about whatever work issue had brought him here. But then, he stopped.
“Are you okay?” Hotch asked, his voice soft but carrying that steady authority. It wasn’t a question he asked often, and when he did, it was because he already knew the answer. He had this way of reading people—of reading you—like any of the case files that came across his desk.
You tried to swallow the lump in your throat, brushing a hand through your hair as you shook your head. You forced a weak smile, but your throat tightened, betraying the façade. “It’s nothing, Hotch. Just… work stress.” You waved a hand dismissively. But the lie tasted bitter on your tongue. The raw emotion in your voice gave you away, and you knew Hotch could see it. He always could.
He stood there, watching you closely, then set the file down on your desk without a word. It was the first time you'd seen him hesitate. “Something’s wrong. Talk to me.”
You wanted to hide it, to shove the pain down and pretend like you hadn’t just lost someone who wasn’t even worth the heartbreak. But this was Hotch—someone you trusted more than anyone. Your lips parted, and the words came tumbling out before you could stop them.
You felt your walls crumbling, the mask you’d tried to wear falling away as the weight of everything hit you all at once. Your chest tightened, and you tried to hold it in, but the pain surged forward, unstoppable.
“I broke up with him,” you said, your voice trembling. “He… he cheated on me.”
Hotch’s entire body went still. His expression, once concerned, darkened with something else entirely. His jaw clenched, his fingers curling into fists at his sides. It was as though he was holding back from storming out and finding the man who had hurt you. “He what?”
You nodded, the tears you’d been holding back finally spilling over. “I tried, Hotch. I really tried. I wanted it to work, but… it’s over. He didn’t even care.”
The room was heavy with the weight of your admission. You had never seen Hotch angry like this—at least, not for something personal. His dark eyes were clouded, and the controlled, calm leader of the BAU was nowhere to be found. But then, just as quickly as it had come, the anger softened, replaced by something much gentler, much deeper. He stepped closer, his hand reaching out to brush the tears from your cheeks, his touch soft, careful, as if you might break at any moment.
“Did he tell you? Or did you find out another way?”
The look in his eyes was enough to make you swallow thickly. It was protective, fierce, as though he was barely keeping himself together. You hadn’t known it then, but Hotch loved you. And the idea of someone hurting you, betraying you, was enough to make him want to hunt down the bastard who had done it.
“He told me,” you muttered, looking down at your lap. “Like it was nothing. Like I didn’t matter.”
Hotch inhaled sharply through his nose, his hands flexing. For a moment, you could tell he was fighting the urge to walk out and do something rash, something you knew he would regret.
“I'm sorry,” he said quietly, and there was something deeper in his voice, something that made your heart skip a beat. “You didn’t deserve that,” he said quietly, his voice laced with something you couldn’t quite place. “He didn’t deserve you.”
You sniffed, wiping at your face as you tried to pull yourself together. “I just… I don’t know what I did wrong.”
Hotch shook his head. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” his voice was firm. He moved to sit beside you, his presence somehow grounding in all the chaos that had filled your head. “This is on him. Not you.”
The conviction in his voice made your breath hitch. You stared at him, taking in the intensity of his gaze, the way he looked at you as if you were the most important thing in the world. Your heart twisted painfully. You had never seen him like this before.
“He wasn’t worth your time,” Hotch continued, his tone softening even more. “You deserve someone who will fight for you, someone who will never hurt you like that.”
You could feel yourself breaking down again, the tears coming back, and you didn’t fight them this time. You didn’t have the strength to. Instead, you let yourself fall, collapsing into Hotch’s arms as he caught you without hesitation. He pulled you close, holding you tightly against his chest, his hand stroking your back in soothing circles.
For the first time all day, you felt safe. The ache in your heart hadn’t gone away, but being here, with Hotch, made it bearable. He didn’t say anything more, just held you, and somehow, that was enough.
For a few moments, neither of you said anything. You couldn’t bring yourself to speak, and he seemed to understand that you needed the silence.
“I wanted it to work,” you whispered between sobs. “I really wanted it to work.”
“I know,” he said softly, his hand soothing as he rubbed slow circles on your back. “You deserve so much more than what he gave you.”
As he held you, a thought crossed your mind—Hotch had always been there. He had always cared, always looked out for you. And as he held you now, his heartbeat steady beneath your cheek, you wondered if maybe he had cared more than you’d realized.
You lifted your head slightly, meeting his gaze. There was something in his eyes, something soft and warm, but it wasn’t pity. It was deeper than that. It was understanding. It was… love.
You blinked, trying to process the moment, but the sadness and exhaustion weighed you down too much to explore it further. Instead, you leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder. Hotch didn’t hesitate.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, though you weren’t sure why.
Hotch shook his head, his expression tender. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
He leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, and for a moment, the world didn’t feel so broken. In his arms, you could breathe again, and maybe—just maybe—your heart wasn’t beyond repair after all.
Because even though everything had fallen apart, Hotch was there to help you pick up the pieces. And this time, you weren’t alone.
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yuurei20 · 10 hours ago
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Hi I anon'd before about a rumor write-up and you said to submit specific things, so I went around and collected some I saw people talking about. You don't have to go into a ton of detail if you don't want to but a yes/no on these would be great, thank you.
Kalim was accepted to RSA but his family bribed him into NRC
Trey and Cater are roommates in the game but not in the novels
Toboso Yana confirmed that there is more to come after Chapter 7 (people keep saying RSA content is confirmed?)
Yuu is the housewarden of Ramshackle
Deuce's signature spell doubles the force of the attack he is hit with
Yuu appears in groovied art like Ace's ceremonial robes and Leona's labwear coat
Hello hello! Thank you for these questions! It is easier to prove that a thing has happened than it is to prove a thing hasn't happened 💦 But will do my best to be brief!
In Summary 1. No in-game proof (as of this post) 2. Disproven (Wish Upon a Star, Trey MyRoom Birthday) 3. No proof (as of this post) 4. No: "Housewarden" (寮長) and "Prefect" (監督生) are two different things! 🦐 5. No: Deuce explains that his magic only "stores" damage 6. No: those are both Epel! 🍎
Details/Sources:
Rumor: "Kalim was accepted to RSA but his family bribed him into NRC" Status: No proof
It has been often hinted in the game that Kalim was homeschooled prior to NRC, and we received outright confirmation that he had never been to a school in Book 7 (censored awkwardly below for spoilers).
While it is still technically possible that he received a letter to RSA and ignored it, this has never been stated in-game.
All we know is that Jamil was admitted to NRC and Kalim's letter of acceptance arrived one month later, with no mention of Kalim attending any other school or receiving any other letters in the interim.
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Rumor Source: This is possibly from confusion with Jamil's overblot monologue and Kalim's delayed admittance!
During Jamil's flashback we see that he went to Crowley to ask him to not allow Kalim's promotion to housewarden, where Crowley says that "providing education comes with costs" and Kalim's family has been "quite generous in their support," but this was about his ascension to housewarden, not about his admittance.
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Jamil does have a whispered line in Book 5 about how he suspects that Crowley also accepted a bribe for Kalim's enrollment but Jamil does not actually know, and neither do we!
He may be proven right in the future, but not as of this post :>
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Rumor: "Trey and Cater are roommates in the game but not in the novels" Status: Disproven
We learn during Wish Upon a Star that Cater and Trey roomed together during their first two years at NRC, but this is not the case for their third year.
In addition to confirmation that all third-year students at the school have private rooms (more here) the new "Relaxing MyRoom" birthday series goes into a lot of detail about who has who for a roommate, confirming that Jade and Floyd room together while Trey is alone (Cater's birthday is not here yet!)
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Rumor Source: I am not sure where this one would have come from! Maybe confusion over Cater's Wish Upon a Star wording, being misinterpreted as "We did room together (and we still do now but we did before, too)"?
Rumor: "Toboso Yana confirmed that there is more to come after Chapter 7 (people keep saying RSA content is confirmed?)" Status: No proof
Explained in more detail here!
Rumor Source: There was a new interview released along with Book 7-2, within which Yana says, "Going forward things are going to be on a much larger scale, incorporating not only the vertical and horizontal axes of the story but also expanding upon elements such as a present, past and future. Look forward to Book 7 (currently on chapter 2)!"
This was before any of us knew the direction that things were going to go in, but now--almost two years later--it seems very much like she was hinting about the events of Book 7 itself rather than anything beyond :>
This does not mean that there is not more to come after Book 7 or that an RSA arc is an impossibility! But nothing has been mentioned as of this post ^^
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Rumor: Yuu is the housewarden of Ramshackle Status: No, housewardens and the prefect are very much two different things!
Deuce explains that the player character was put in charge of Grim, saying nothing about them being in charge of Ramshackle Dorm.
It is possible they also could have been named the "Grim Warden," but they were called the prefect, instead :>
(a similar ask was received before and the answer went wildly off track, but for reference!)
Rumor Source: I am not sure! Maybe confusion over whether or not "Housewarden" and "Prefect" were the same word in the original game, made into two words for EN? (They are very much two different words on JP, too, accurately localized for EN!)
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Rumor: "Deuce's signature spell doubles the force of the attack he is hit with" Status: No, Deuce explains his unique magic directly to everyone in Book 5!
He says: "I wasn't the one who made it so strong. Vil was. That spell stores up all the damage I take from someone, then hits back with it all at once. So it was only potent because Vil hit me with really potent magic to start with."
He does not take credit for his magic "doubling" Vil's attack, saying outright that all he does is store the magic he is hit with and then reflects it back upon his attacker, so he can only hit with the same degree of strength that strikes him.
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Rumor Source: This one probably came from the English-language localization of Deuce's UM ^^ In the original game it is called "Bet the Limit" (and this can be heard in the audio, as he says it in English), but it was changed to "Double Down" on EN!
Both "Bet the Limit" (poker) and "Double Down" (Blackjack) are card-playing terms!
Why this was changed is unclear! I agree that it does sound very much like "doubling" is what Deuce's magic should do, but it doesn't--hence why he never uses the word "double" in his actual dialogue!
More here:
Rumor: "Yuu appears in groovied art like Ace's ceremonial robes and Leona's labwear coat" Status: Disproven. They are both Epel! The prefect has never been represented visually in any artwork in the game or novels.
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Rumor Source: I am not sure where the rumor for Ace's would have come from, as the prefect had not entered the world at the time of this scene 🧐
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The prefect is present in the scene of Leona's labwear, but in dialogue Leona explains how he has picked up only Epel and Grim.
He threatens to pick up the prefect but does not actually do so. Maybe the rumor is from before the EN server was released, back when it was more common to try and understand the vignettes based on the visuals alone? :>
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gamerbot-22 · 23 hours ago
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Touchstarved LIs as Study Buddies
Because when I was studying for my macroeconomics final the only way I survived was imagining a rotating cast of blorbos helping me out (I got a 70% btw)
Recommended Listening: Zelda & Chill Trilogy
TW/CWs: Potential Accidental Canon Deviancy, not proofread.
Can be read as romantic or platonic, whatever floats your boat! Likes and reblogs appreciated!
Special thanks to @asexual-abomination for helping with Lea and Mhin <3
🕊️ Kuras
You two will study and do nothing else.
Okay, not exactly, but it’s 90% study with a couple mental breaks tossed in to keep your mind sharp.
And you can bet your ass he’s making sure you’re drinking water and getting some good brain food in you (good luck with his cooking lol)
He’s not big on the idea of pulling all-nighters, but if it’s a necessity (say, you’re cramming,) he’ll turn into something of a spotter, making sure that you stay sane and make the most of the time you have before you eventually conk out.
Has anyone here seen Elementary? There’s a scene early in the series where Watson helps Sherlock stay awake by showing him how to do squats to get his blood pumping. Kuras does the same.
Also he’s making flashcards! Unironically I think this is a highlight for him.
His Best Subject is obviously any kind of Biological Science, but I think he’s also really good for History.
🪄 Leander
He’s good at studying on his own, but the second he’s in a Buddy System he just starts doing. The Most.
I’m talking like an hour and a half at least of set up where he’s getting drinks and snacks and a nest of pillows and blankets set up so your backs don’t get sore hunched over a table.
Lowkey I think he’s trying to be The Study Buddy Ever for you, but he doesn’t quite clock that all the prep work is eating into your study time and while that can be okay if the test isn’t pressing, if you’re cramming it’s a problem.
Once he’s settled though, he’s actually really helpful.
Very “there’s no stupid questions!” about it all, and will work with you to make sure you’ve got it all down.
Every magician worth his salt knows how to study, damnit, he’s just a social himbo.
His best subjects I think are Psychology and Social Studies. He’s a People Person.
🦊 Vere
He’s either not helping even a little bit by not showing up or not helping even a little bit by being a distraction.
He is bored off his ass almost the entire time, and he will make it your problem by just going on the most random of tangents after he’s done complaining.
And failing that, he’ll just go take a big nap somewhere.
He just curls right up and goes to snoozeville for like an hour before waking up and going “you’re STILL at it???��
If you want him to engage with you—or even just stick around, really—you’re going to have to bribe him in some way or another.
Of course he asks for the most out of pocket shit but tbh I think if you’ve got good snacks and something cozy he’ll just take it as a break.
Generally though he’s very much just doing his own thing while you study, it’s barely beneficial to either of you.
Except sometimes you talk at him while he draws you mayhaps…
It’s canon that he’s really artistically talented so I think his Best Subjects are Art and Literature. Those are the two things you have any hope of getting help from him on.
⛩️ Ais
Ais also takes some convincing to come around and help, tbh—
He doesn’t strike me as a guy that really studies, not just because of his personality but because he’s literally part of a Hivemind I’m pretty certain he can just ping for information if he really needs it.
But once he’s gotten settled he’s actually a surprisingly good rubber duck, letting you talk at him about theory and formula while he pokes around your space.
Like Vere, I think he naps if he’s not directly involved but he a) usually gives a head’s up but b) ends up snoring really loud which makes studying a nightmare.
Sometimes he’ll actually pay attention—maybe even leaning over the back of your chair to read over your shoulder sometimes—and you find out he’s really good at actually taking a look at a concept and Getting It really fast.
Just… don’t ask him to explain it to you.
That’s a different skill set that I don’t think he quite has off the bat.
Surprisingly maybe I think his Best Subject is Math/Arithmetic. There’s just something about how cut and dry the formulas are that make it click for him really well. Also lowkey good at Biology, specifically the behavioral side of Animal Biology.
🪡 Mhin
Good Fucking Luck
Genuinely, I don’t think Mhin has either the patience or the social bandwidth to be a decent study partner.
The best you’re getting out of them is someone who’s leading by example.
Mhin will get their own book, sit next to you, and read. And if you make any kind of noise or significant disturbance, they’ll grumble or nudge your chair to tell you to be quiet.
You can ask them to help with review questions if you want, but I think unless it’s something they already know, don’t expect any type of feedback outside of eye contact.
If it’s a regular thing and you get the chance to get used to each other, they might occasionally mention stuff in their own reading that they find interesting/you might find interesting, but generally it’s few and far between.
Just because they’re not really helping doesn’t mean they want to be a distraction, unlike some…
Like Kuras, I think Mhin is really good at Science, specifically Anatomy, but they also have a bit of a soft spot for Poetry and Strategy.
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rough art tips to learn and then break at your leisure.
the distance between your eyes is roughly one eye. the corners of your mouth dont extend past the middle of each eye. ears are roughly in the middle of the tip of the nose and the eyebrow. the eyes are in the very centre of the head. the neck is just a Little slimmer than the width of the head (varies with fat distribution, but fat tends to build up under the chin). hair is easier to draw when you plot out the hairline and then where it parts. leaving appropriate distance on the side of the face (cheekbone area and back to ear) contributes to making characters look more realistic/hot as hell. i dont know specific tips for that so use reference. an amazing reference/study site is lineofaction.com . if you think of the face in planes it makes it easier to construct (look up tutorials). if you draw a spiral like a tornado it can help you figure out awkward perspective for extended limbs (look up foreshortening coil technique). tangent lines are when two lines intersect and cause visual confusion (when it looks like a line that defines an arm is part of the line that defines a building, for example) and avoiding them makes your art way easier to comprehend. quick trick to good composition: choose a focal point (where you want your viewer to focus), detail that area the most, and make sure various elements of the piece are pointing to that focal point. you can use colours to contrast hue, saturation, and brightness and make certain elements of your drawing stand out. drawing in greyscale can help you figure out values. using black in a piece isn't illegal but you should know what you're doing when you do use it- it desaturates a piece and if used as a shading colour can desaturate and dull whatever youre shading too. if you use almost-black lineart and then add black to darken the very darkest areas it will do a lot to add some nice depth. the tip of your thumb ends just above the start of your index finger- your thumb also has two knuckles and all your other fingers have three. if you see an artist doing something you like (the way they draw noses or eyes or hair or anything else) you can try to copy that and see if you want to incorporate it in your style <- this is ENCOURAGED and how a lot of us learned and developed our styles. there are ways to add wrinkles to faces and bodies without making the character look a million years old, you just have to keep experimenting with it. The smile wrinkles around your muzzle dont connect to your mouth or to your nose; there should be a small space in between smile or nose and the wrinkle line. eyes when viewed in profile are like < aka a little triangle shape. think of the pupil like a disk and apply foreshortening to it (it looks like a line when seen from the side instead of a full round dot). subtle gradients can add a LOT to a piece. texture can also add a LOT. look up Tommy Arnold's work (his murderbot pieces are some of my FAVOURITE) and zoom in. find those random little circles he added and try to figure out why he added them there. light bounces. there's lots of way light bounces. sometimes it even spreads through the skin. i do not know these light tricks yet but i want you to know that they exist. draw a circle to indicate hand placement, draw a straight line between that circle and the shoulder, and then (normally at a right angle) draw a straight line on top of that line to find the placement of the elbow. elbows are normally placed Just above the hip when standing and your arm is at rest. there are no bad colour combos if you're brave enough about it, just fuck with the saturation and brightness until it works. keep playing. try new things. add your own tips to this post if you want or even expand on some ive mentioned here. good luck go ham etc
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myokk · 5 months ago
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I filmed a timelapse of my process for this quick one💓
Honestly not really happy with how this turned out & I’ll probably redo it😆 but I always love making process videos!!
I REALLY HAVE TO TRUST MY PROCESS🙏🙏🙏 these paintings always look AWFUL😳 until the very end but luckily I’ve painted enough of them to keep pushing through and not give up in tears bahahahahahah
1) I start out just painting the base colors. I have a dirty paint palette I NEVER clean😤 but tbh I like it bc every color I want is basically already mixed from a previous painting, and I like having all of the colors kind of blend together. If I need a different color though I’ve never had problems mixing to get exactly what I’m looking for💓
2) WAIT FOR IT TO DRY (I didn’t…you can see at one point I check the back of the page to make sure I didn’t destroy it completely). This paint dries SUPER fast…I am just impatient bc the next step is when it all starts to come together🥰:
3) COLORED PENCIL ON TOP!! I always make sure the paint covers almost all of the page except the parts I want to keep really white, because the colored pencil looks awful if it isn’t drawn on top of paint. I just sharpen them and go in with the small details, but I also love going crazy with the colors and using them to shade, add highlights, add extra pops of color etc. For example, on Bea’s shirt I used gold, dark blue, dark brown, normal brown, mauve, tan, olive green…I just like to experiment and have fun choosing the colors (esp ones that I think SHOULDN’T work but they DO🥰)
Sometimes I switch between the paint and the colored pencil bc the paint can be used to kind of “erase” any mistakes, but I can’t go too crazy or add a lot of water to it because I use the cheapest paper known to man and it gets destroyed SO EASILY 😫 all of the fanart I’ve drawn is in €1 notebooks
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deiaiko · 11 months ago
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#19.3 Unravel
It had been some time since Agni felt this nervous. Not even talking with Jinsung Ha recently had made him feel like this. He fiddled with the mask on his hand as he waited for Grace to come back. He had thought hard on how to deliver the news, but he knew that no matter how he phrased it, Grace would be upset. Velt nuzzled under his palm and Agni gave her a few pats, before deciding that she would be better inside her bowl in his lighthouse, just in case the shinsu acted up around Grace after he received the news.
Grace came back wearing the comfiest shirt and shorts Agni knew Grace liked to wear on lazy days. He joined him on the floor, and they ate dinner together. Agni always finished last, so while waiting for him to finish his meal, Grace told him about his day with Bam. Grace was intrigued by how much his way of thinking had changed, and how glad he was to be able to be by Bam's side when he was having a bad day. It reminded Agni of the hidden floor, when Grace faced his sworn enemy.
They left the used bowls on the coffee table and went to brush their teeth. Afterwards, they turned off the light and went upstairs to sit on their bed. Grace's curious gaze never left him, and Agni curled his feet nervously.
Grace was the one who broke the silence. "So…what is it?"
Agni's breath hitched. This was the part he dreaded most. "I talked with the crocodile earlier. Did you know that he could manipulate stone already?"
"Huh." Grace needed a few seconds to let the information sink in. "Didn't Rak learn it on the Hell train? How does he know it?"
"Turns out our crocodile also traveled back to the past like us. He found the young crocodile and taught him."
"What?!" Grace gasped, wide eyed. "That means our Rak is–!!"
"He's dead." Agni quickly snuffed out that hope. They had been in delusion for long enough; it was time that they faced the bitter truth. "He suffered a fatal injury from the explosion. He couldn't have lasted long without proper help." Agni omitted the actual cause for Rak's death, but still kept his words true. "I'm sorry."
"…Oh." Grace looked lost, just like Agni was. His lips parted a little, but they closed before any sound escaped.
Agni gently squeezed Grace's hand, encouraging and comforting as he let the silence stretch on, giving Grace some time to process the information.
"Agni…" Grace whispered, "do you think Hatz and Isu…?"
Agni bit his lip and avoided his gaze, as the nightmare of that day replayed in his mind. He witnessed Hatz get his arm ripped off when trying to protect him. He could still recall the clang of a sword hitting the floor, and Hatz's suppressed scream that gnawed deep at his guilt. He witnessed Isu get beheaded after being taken hostage, the memory of warm blood painting them both still vivid like it happened yesterday. 
Agni refused to acknowledge their possible deaths, because it felt like a nightmare that one day he could hopefully wake up from. He avoided the topic when Grace brought it up, so he wouldn't have to say it aloud and make it real. He had been so hard on himself, because he couldn't get rid of the feeling that he had failed Grace and everyone else involved.
Agni knew this had to change if he wanted to live better, now that they had gotten a second chance. So he swallowed down the lump in his throat that had built up over the years and asked mostly to himself; "What are the odds of their survival?"
"There's always a chance–"
"Grace." Agni looked him straight in the eye. "They were already severely injured before the explosion hit."
Grace fell silent and went still.
Agni felt a pang of guilt upon witnessing Grace's reaction. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap." Agni fiddled with his hands. He realized that he didn't know how much Grace knew of what happened. "My scar…do you know how I got it?"
"I…was told it was from the family heads' battle." Grace looked thoughtful. Agni knew he was trying to be careful with his words. "A stray attack?"
"It could have been worse." The memory of the scorching heat on his skin felt like it had only happened yesterday. He passed out right when he was about to heal Isu, and only found out later that he also lost sweetfish at that time. The days he spent recovering from the burn, to withstand the excruciating pain every second he was conscious, and finally coming to terms that it'd be a permanent scar, was one of the turning points that had changed him forever. Were Grace not there to care for him, he might have ended up destroying himself even more.
Agni hadn't realized he had his left hand clawing on his cheek until Grace pried his hand off and frowned, "You're doing it again."
"Maybe I should wear the mask…" Agni muttered to himself. After all, Grace gave it to him less so he could hide the scar but more to prevent him from unconsciously hurting himself. The only time he could safely take it off was when Grace was around.
Agni bit his lip nervously when Grace didn't reply. He no longer had the courage to look Grace in the eye that spoke so much concern, so he leaned close and rested his head on Grace's chest. "Rak, Isu, Hatz and Hwaryun were trying to get me out of that damned place. But we were caught while escaping, and…it was a bloodbath. I was…too occupied to react to the incoming heat. Rak shielded us from the explosion. And when I woke up…"
"They weren’t with you," Grace finished it for him after Agni trailed off a moment too long.
Agni nodded dazedly, "I've been telling myself that they're still alive, after a blow that could kill rankers. But…who am I kidding? I was lucky enough to survive with just this little–" Agni vaguely pointed to himself– "inconvenience."
Agni felt a hand gripping his arm, and he pulled away to see Grace looking at him with a pained expression. His eyes were glossy and his lips were pulled into a thin line. Trusting his instinct, Agni reached out to gently trace and cup Grace's cheek with his free hand.
"I'm sorry," Agni muttered. "I'm sorry, for not telling you sooner."
Agni silently witnessed tears that streamed down on his love's face. It was a bitter sight that Agni wished he'd never have to see again, that he had tried to avoid for so long by not telling him. He pulled Grace in and held him close to his chest, as if Agni was trying to gather his own crumbled heart back together.
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Grace mumbled their late best friends' names as he held onto him tighter, shaking from each breath he took between sniffles.
Agni felt his own eyes sting with unshed tears. He remembered the years he spent climbing the tower together with his old team. Despite their banter being his source of headaches, Agni knew he too had come to acknowledge them as his cherished friends. Only when they were gone did Agni realize how much he'd miss having them around. Seeing the younger them didn't exactly close the gaping hole in his heart, but at least the emptiness was more filled.
Agni squeezed Grace tighter. "We have their younger selves with us now. We will protect them better this time."
Grace only nodded and sank further into his embrace. And Agni planted kisses on his hair, relishing the thought that after everything he had gone through, Grace was still a constant in his life. As long as he had him, everything would be okay.
When Grace started shaking again, Agni caressed his hair and hummed a comfort song they had known by heart. Still, it didn't make falling asleep any easier for Agni, especially not after admitting that his nightmare was very much real. However, as he had been through grief…this, too, would pass.
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#Whee we get to know some of their past. Specifically their turning point#I hope it flows nicely because i have rewritten this like 3 times now 😭😭😭 dialogues are just not my specialty#like how to make them reveal such information without making them come out of the blue#writing style aside. let's talk about why Agni behaves this way#I will save the details on the what and how for the prologue. but basically Agni had been through hell that he couldn't escape alone#Rak Hatz and Isu saved him (or attempted to). and Agni owed them for saving his life. thus the strong attachment that Khun doesn't have#also let me mention that Agni had trouble differentiating between hallucination and reality after the incident. So he was kind of in denial#maybe Agni had come to a conclusion that they might be dead months after that. but he was too afraid to admit it to Grace#because he thought it was partly his fault for being incompetent. and Grace would hate him for letting their friends die#not wanting to risk being left by Grace. he just put himself (and inevitably Grace too) in the illusion of truth#that there's still a chance their friends are still alive because they have no proof of their deaths#so when Agni was offered to go back to the past. he agreed to it. Already expecting that Rak Hatz Isu aren't the same ones that he looks fo#but it was as good as he could get to redeem himself. Plus they get to meet everyone else who they couldn't save#Anyway. I'm taking hiatus until April. In return I will answer if you have any questions whether it is written in the tags or sent via ask#see ya folks <3 we'll get more brothers and team bonding when I return#tower of god#tog#two sides of the same coin fic#my fic#my art#bam#25th bam#jue viole grace#khun#khun aguero agnis#khunbam#shibisu#ship leesoo#rak wraithraiser#hatz
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bythehearts · 3 months ago
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not to bring tiktok drama on tumblr but like every time a ‘scandal’ comes out with one of these ‘production companies’ that make fan films i always hope we’re finally gonna discuss how they professionalize something that should be an hobbyist endeavor… and yet every single time i’m disappointed.
#like I know we’ve been talking about it here on tumblr and i remember seeing like one or two videos on tt about it#but other than that creators really don’t seem to be engaging critically with the impact that the very nature of what they’re doing has#and look i truly do love the art that some of the people involved in the project make#like arone is truly one of the most talented cosplayers i know#ethan is an amazing actor and I’ve followed him since before he was even in the marauders#dorian is a great writer and idk the others as well but I’m sure they are all great artists#((naming the just cause i feel like being vague would be worse in this case))#and i do believe they engaged with the project with the best of intentions#without knowing or trying to afford grace on past controversy#and it truly is a horrible predicament to have your work be tainted like that for something you had no control over#but like i do think we should be questioning the very idea of how this fanfilms have been made is inherently a problem#like fanfilms are essentially fanfiction on camera#so as long as a few cosplayers want to get together with their iphones write a script and shoot at the local park I don’t have a problem#but if you are putting in place a product that somehow requires you to fundraise consistently for two years then I have a problem with it#ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE SELLING THE SCRIPT TO DO SO#cause even if that script hadn’t been ai generated#that script is fanfiction and you do. not. sell. fanfiction.#seriously like… do we need to go over our abc again?#like fanart and cosplayers are a bit different in the sense that people sell fanart/do commissions and they can be professional cosplayers#but for any other fanmade project that requires you to put pen to paper (or keyboard to chatgpt ig)#you need to be engaging with several ethical questions regarding any exchange of money#and personally i don’t think that there’s been engagement with those ethical reflections#and this isn’t about any of the people involved and not even about mischief productions specifically#it’s about a wider issue in how we have been collectively normalizing a way of doing things that should not be normal#and like yes star using ai and being overall not good is bad but like can we talk about EVERYTHING ELSE please
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seawing-vibes · 2 years ago
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Finally finished up some oc basefills!! These are surprisingly hard pfh, but fun !! In order this is Noctilu, Acacia, and General Hail! The latter two are v old ocs of mine that have been redesigned <3
Okay heres some bonus stuff!! I really liked how some of the lineart was done so here is the raw lineart for anyone interested + a speedpaint (?) of General Hail’s design process ! These guys were really fun to work on despite it taking me so long for no good reason ,,, heres some design notes on them all <3
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Noctilu has a Lancier attached to the leather holster as he is the main fisher aboard the pirate ship he is part of
Noct’s line-wing patterns arent always visible, but some nightwing seers claim that the lines help them trace future timelines. Since Noct is a Nightwing Hybrid he wonders if those claims hold any truth
Acacia is a botanist out of the Scorpion Den ! Her bag is filled with journals, loose note paper, and writing supplies.
General Hail was hard as fuck to design guh . He is purple because I want him to be <3
Although he was part of the War of Sandwing Succession, he was born without his back leg and has had a prosthetic forever! Plus he was a very skilled fighter so most of his scars were inflicted by those he let harm him for whatever reason he had in the moment
Astrolabe I gave up on trying to redesign I’m so sorry bud. Hes Married to Noctilu (they have matching earring) and is the ships cartographer / navigator, so his quiver is actually filled with maps and scrolls. He keeps his actual astrolabe and sextant in his bags.
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icewindandboringhorror · 5 months ago
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Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)
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#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper#Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed#with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi#all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement#english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS#where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to#like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect#score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol#I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret#meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you#get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized#speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea#ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different#ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one#liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate#in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since#I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small#character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility#question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju#t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually#is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so#is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i#2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have#SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and#talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem#harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically#just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl#in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for#Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol
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woolmasterleel · 1 year ago
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LOVE WINS!! The incomprehensible entity above godhood and her incomprehensible wife have become one to kill Mirror 💖
SHE'S HERE!!! Finally I can talk about who and what Love Story is!! All her info + the transparent versions are below the cut! I'm so excited about her o(*°▽°*)o
An entity known as Love Story- a collective consisting of Pandora and Galvarium!
If Galvarium wasn't enough before, Love Story is her everything but tenfold, maybe more... Love Story is highly dangerous, standing at 1500 m, 200 m more than Truth of His World.
She (or they, given that it is both Pandora and Galvarium) is formed during the final fight with Mirror Kagami.
It seems like she is acting as her own entity, however her movements are the two moving in sync.
When she speaks, it sounds like Galvarium and Pandora speaking at once.
An extreme amount of trust is required to form a fusion, which those two obviously have.
Love Story is the one to finally put down Romirr/Mirror/Truth of His World. In a way, it is like a dance between the two.
The only observable hazard she has is hysteria, but that has only been displayed by Mirror, so it isn't likely the result of her presence.
Love Story is unbelievably happy to be herself! Of course, Galvarium and Pandora are just very happy and comfortable with one another!
She has the most fun getting rid of Truth of His World (❁´◡`❁)
She doesn't stick around too much after Mirror is put down- but is around long enough for the others to behold her presence.
Oddly, Love Story is able to be understood and seen by humans. This is most likely due to her existence being a manifestation of Galvarium's and Pandora's emotions.
While Galvarium is never depicted in words (legends/stories etc), Love Story is written about by a lot of people- those who saw her and those who heard stories of her presence.
Here's a few design notes!
She isn't wearing clothes. Much like the LAE, her "skin" mimics clothing.
Her veil, dress, and gloves are very soft, but are very veiny. The veins don't supply any blood, it's purely for looks.
Like Pandora's, the tendrils can deal a lethal amount of poison.
The pink crystal-like structure of her torso and the white of her chest are her insides.
Her veil comes out from the back of her horns.
She does have legs/feet, though they aren't often visible.
The inside of the ring says "This is Your Story" (only the last bit is visible).
The small heart in her horns, above her head, rotates constantly. It spins faster the more she is moving.
Here's the transparent bg versions+one without the veil!
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I am so so happy with her!! Love Story has been a concept for a really long time and I'm really excited to show her off!! I hope you enjoy beholding her ╰(*°▽°*)╯
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13eyond13 · 1 year ago
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snepfeathers · 2 months ago
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I need some good advice.
About 2 and a half year ago. I had a close friend ghost me on a lot of platforms.
But Recently I found them on ticktok with a discord link.
What sude I do.. ask them way they ghosted me or just let it go and realized that friendship die a long time ago.
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you have received.... a trick!
your emoji kitchen combination is: ghost and alarm clock!
happy halloween!
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lesbiansanemi · 1 year ago
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Things to make me lie down and contemplate everything. 400 ppl liking my writing enough that they want a notification when there’s something new
#one person in the comments of last sunrise also said I was their favorite renkaza writer#I. I. LIKE MAN I DUNNO#I am literally always under the assumption that people like. tolerate my creator endeavors#like maybe they’re not bad but they’re not GOOD and they’re kind of mildly annoying to everyone around me#(we can thank my family for mercilessly mocking every interest I ever had as a kid for that one)#I have had ONE person irl who has always responded v positively and passionately when I talk about my projects#(hiiiiii Lee ily for this)#and it’s like. oh. oh wow. this kinda stuff is always like whiplash to me because of it#it shocks me when ppl comment or oh my god when they ask me QUESTIONS about fics#like they WANT me to talk more about them#I’m too anxiety ridden to really even talk about them on MY dumb tumblr account cuz I worry about being annoying#because me being excited about working on something = annoying in my brain#(and like it’s never anyone else I see literally ANY other person posting about their art or ideas or processes and I’m like OMG AWESOME)#(it’s literally just me that this applies to 😭😭😭)#so yeah. ppl ask about fics. people say they’re excited about them. ppl even say they THOUGHT about them#and it baffles and confuses me and blows my mind#anyways. the point is. Ty ily I can’t believe you all like anything I made#but I’m trying to get better about getting over this mindset#and seeing physical proof in numbers that it really is ridiculous definitely helps#kaz rambles
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Got my souvenirs
Freeze dried skittles and handmade watercolors made by the owners of the art shop i got them at
They grind their own pigments and everything
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Their business card is a 6inch ruler
#we dont have any good specialty art shops in Lawrence#we have a couple of places downtown that are kinda similar but they pretty much only have name brand stuff#nothing made locally#if it wasnt so expensive to start a business in Lawrence i might have a niche for handmade paints there#im trying to figure out what oil they used in their base to make it antimicrobial#cuz it smells really good lol#like my paints smell very strongly of cinnamon#im assuming clove oil since thats most common.....but idk if i can identify clove by smell#smells christmas-y tho#if i was more outgoing i mightve asked the owner some questions about it#my mom tried to talk me into getting the watercolor kit that had some little pieces of watercolor paper and a pencil and a brush#and i was like ''i have all that tho'' and she was like ''but then you could use them now.''#''.....yea. i have all that WITH me.'' like. im not gonna travel without my favorite art supplies lol#i gave up suitcase space for my giant watercolor sketchbook just in case i wanted to paint#i have MOSTLY travel watercolor sets and brought all of them with me in my pencil bag#i specifically filled up all my watercolor brushes with water the night before we left and made sure i had my favorite mechanical pencil#(which btw if you have executive dysfunction and like to paint with watercolors i highly recommend the watercolor brushes you fill#with water. i paint way more than i used to cuz i dont have to fill a cup with water any time i wanna paint)#i have my regular sketchbook#i even brought my sudoku book and a couple pens in case i felt like playing sudoku#i dont travel without my bag of activities. i may not always do the activities i bring but i like to have options#at least its better than when i was a kid cuz i tried to bring activities AND like 5 stuffed animals#my suitcase was usually half stuffed animals#i also usually had a few shoved into my pillowcase with my blanky
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alphalesbian · 1 month ago
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Firmly believe that capitalism has eroded many many peoples ability to understand and appreciate art beyond a consumable product
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lilgynt · 3 months ago
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there’s no way to express that people keep randomly reaching out to me to talk daily and at length and keep pushing for my space in my life and i really don’t need or more importantly WANT that politely there’s no good way to say that politely
#personal#it just sounds awful! and it makes me feel kinda bad!!!#but people keep like contacting me and just#i’m responding but not reciprocating? if that makes sense? and they’re not doing anything bad by trying to make new connections#and if i really don’t enjoy talking to someone i should just tell them#but it’s not even that i don’t like these people or talking it’s just the frequency and again no good way to say#hey! i’m not really open to expanding our relationship rn. ur fine i like you fine but im dealing with a lot and dont need anything new in#my life in the moment. like no good way to say#and also i hate the ball being put in my court. you came to me. i wasn’t seeking anything i was just here#and then with several of these relationships from their end they want to vent or talk about something that needs real consideration#like art criticism or saying what i like or again venting and other stuff#and it’s like man i am. drinking heavily. i’m having breakdowns bc im not sure my mom is gaslighting me on purpose#i have a full#time job i routinely do OT for and a million other things#i don’t want to be anyone’s rock rn#at least not anyone who’s not a close friend or family#cause if it was any of my besties asking hey can you come to my house so i’m not alone :(#i’m on my way that’s barley anything#girl from high school i had one class with who i have never hung out with uh. no#i don’t want to go to ur house after a 12 hour shift#and there’s a very mean question of like. do you have friends ur closer wirh?#not even judging just like we are not close. do you have closer friends?#and then it’s hard to do replies bc like how are you graham ! how’s life!#i don’t feel comfortable telling you the intimacies of my life and struggles rn#but i can’t give the basic good and you bc you are actively asking for more than that#so i have to think of an appropriate response ask you back and now it’s a vent session about ur life#and then so much is put on you for something you didn’t ask for#like this girl replied to my insta story like can we play iphone games again :(#as much love as i can muster we are grown adults i was just at work. just send the game!!!#i know i’m the weird one here it’s just. a lot of people want relationships with me and i’m tired and don’t need or want more at the moment
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