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DVD Bonus Features: Fanfic Edition!
I have like 6k of cut scenes from my last fic (the fourth dimension) and many of them were not cut because they were bad, but because they weren't working with the overall story. Seems a shame to let them languish on Google docs. So, for anyone who might be interested - here's two scenes that didn't make the final cut!
<<<>>>
The hourglass is broken.
The glass is intact, of course, as is the intricate brass housing Dream had spent so many hours bending and curving into symmetrical spirals. It is the spring plate that forms one of the bases—designed to depress slowly as the weight of sand gathers, thereby stretching a miniature steel coil beneath such that it begins to draw back a tiny gilt hammer. When the full weight of sand is upon it, the catch releases, and the hammer strikes the chime.
Dream had left the mechanism skeletonized, proud of both the ingenuity and the beauty of the gears he had crafted. This is what allows him to see, today, that even though the sand piles upon the spring plate, the hammer remains stationary. The plate is not depressing.
He has migrated to the window for better light and turned the hourglass every which way. The symmetry of the hourglass means that an identical mechanism exists on the other side, for convenient comparison, and it is from this that Dream is hypothesizing that the issue is perhaps with the pinion gear.
He will not know for certain until he attempts correction.
And herein lies the problem, for in a masterful stroke of arrogance on his own part:
The glass is intact.
His only options now to access the mechanism are to melt the glass, or strategically break it apart, and in either case hope for both minimal damage to the contents and an aesthetically pleasing repair following the—
“What’s wrong, dove?”
Or rather, what Hob actually says is hǒu is th' problem, culver?, because Dream is standing in the kitchen next to an abandoned bowl of muesli, because it is breakfast, because during breakfast they speak Middle English. Hob is before him, coffee in one hand, breakfast sandwich in the other.
“It’s broken,” Dream replies. Is brokæ.
“It’s nearly eight,” Hob replies, eyebrows up.
Dream abruptly sets the hourglass down.
“So you noticed the Astrid Alarm was broken,” Hob says, as Dream swings the freezer door open and starts shifting ice packs and frozen pizzas about. “And then you didn’t set a different alarm. You didn’t eat your breakfast. You didn’t pack your bag.”
“This is unhelpful.”
Hob goes quiet as Dream frantically stuffs notebooks into his backpack, then a water bottle (too light, probably empty), the peas, headphones, and a sweater from the back of a chair that is likely not his own. Three binder clips go into his pocket. All he needs is—
He turns to find Hob waiting, Dream’s wallet in one hand, sandwich in the other, meat now removed.
Dream accepts both, and heads for the windowsill.
“No kiss?” Hob complains.
The broken hourglass, too, goes into his bag.
Dream doubles back, cups the side of Hob’s face more for the sake of injury prevention than tenderness, and presses a quick kiss of gratitude where it belongs.
The hand on his wrist stays him.
Hob’s fingers fall comfortably between the three watch bands that lie there, his thumb over Dream’s pulse point.
“Tonight, five o’clock,” Hob reminds him.
Dream holds up his other arm in reply, where a fourth watch glints golden.
“Ah, perfect,” Hob says, beaming. “Hob Fob to the rescue.”
It is one of the many great failures of Dream’s life, that this nickname has persisted.
“Five,” Dream agrees, and pulls his hand free. “You will be wonderful.”
“Best in my age group,” Hob agrees proudly, and raises his coffee mug just as Dream turns around to make for the door. The mug is a custom job from the internet a few years ago, chipped in both paint and porcelain, but the original black with white lettering can still be read:
It does not belong to Hob.
WORLD’S
LEAST
PUNCTUAL
WATCHMAKER
<<<>>>
(Originally there was an OC named Astrid that Dream would birdwatch with every morning, and Hob had a piano recital in the evening. Obviously these plot points went, and so the breakfast scene had to be rewritten.)
<<<>>>
A watch does not know the time it tells.
It cannot feel the sun moving across the sky. It does not know the axis of the Earth, nor the ellipsis of its orbit. It does not reach into the fabric of the universe and pluck divine truth from the red-shift coefficient of the galaxies that hurtle through space as afterthought projectiles of the origin of existence.
A watch begins with a mainspring—or perhaps a quartz crystal, or microscopic solar panels—but traditionally, a mainspring. This is where the potential energy is stored, to be released as the kinetic energy that will drive the gears to turn the escapement, which is what moves the hands of the watch forward, and would do so without rhythm or reason were it not for the staying hands of the balance wheel.
The balance wheel is the best part of a watch. The most precise. The most expensive, for the precious gems encrusted upon it that almost entirely eliminate the enemy of constancy: friction. It is what decides the length of a second, for it is what checks the urgency of the marching army of gears that say go go go go go and instead says no. It says, stop. For one thousand milliseconds or one million microseconds or one trillion picoseconds, it holds the entire watch in perfect stillness.
Then the second hand ticks over. The next interval begins.
On, and on, and on, and on, it goes.
<<<>>>
A watch does not know the time it tells. It is a mindless contraption, a work of metal and stone and glass, and it grinds inexorably forward with a steady tick, tick, tick, tick, tick that may at first listen sound like the drumbeats of progress. But listen closer. Listen carefully.
It is not a ticking that you hear. It is one small gear, striking back against the machine, protesting, crying out again and again: wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
(I liked this little meditation on the nature of watches, but it's a few shades off from my central thesis, and in the end was not needed.)
And that's it! Alas, sometimes good pieces must be sacrificed in the name of a greater project.
#dreamling#my writing#sandman#dream of the endless#hob gadling#idk if anyone will even care about this#but if you enjoyed it#you're welcome
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the honda odyssey, huh?
#poolverine has taken over my every waking thought#they're the defintion of matching each others freak#you can tell my brainrot is bad by the fact that I willing drew a car#and don't get me started on this pose it took me ages to figure out#anything for peak old men yaoi#hope you enjoy the freaky little details I added in here#poolverine#deadclaw#poolverine fanart#deadpool#deadpool fanart#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#fanart#my art#digital art
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Zoozve, my beloved
#i cannot tell you how much this made me smile just bc it's so full of love#moon#venus#zoozve#long post#sorry about that it's very long but it's very entertaining i hope you enjoy this lil zoozve gem haha#astronomy#astrophysics#space
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“these characters should be mentally healthy before they get together 😌” ummm no I actually think we should smash their mental illnesses together like clumps of play-doh and see what colors it makes
#they should live under each other’s skin in a way that’s weird to everyone else. actually.#also on a more serious note since this is getting notes mental illness does not preclude people from deserving love#or the ability to give and receive it#it also does not make you inherently toxic#sometimes people are just toxic anyways of course#and a lot of people enjoy a toxic ship and are relating that to this and that’s cool!#but like#if you believe that’s the only option you’re wrong buddy#people can be worse together but they can also be better#acting like a character or a person has to ‘fix’ their trauma or what have you to be worthy is. a fucking weird mindset.#but anyways!
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How I found out about trump getting shot
#donald trump#us politics#its like getting ur news from a destiel meme. but kinda worse. when you see the top of a destiel meme u expect to hear something insane.#not in the ao3 tags though.#truly a *teleports behind you* moment#imagine trump as an ao3 author like “sorry for the slow updates. i got shot :((! enjoy the food anyways#thanks ao3 author#archive of our own#trump#ao3#history#archiveofourown#fanfiction#joe biden#politics#funny
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Add another one to the list of hilarious examples of why generative AI doesn't produce correct answers, just statistically likely ones.
(Customers asked for how-to videos, which the company doesn't have. The AI chatbot decided that a million internet users linking to this video after similar requests couldn't be wrong.)
#ai (derogatory)#not to be confused with the list of disturbing examples#those exist too for sure#but this is funny#rickrolling#way to cut corners by not paying actual humans to talk to your customers#there's no way that can come back to bite you#I'm sure the customers enjoyed the helpful video
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I made a little zine!
You can download and print it yourself for free here
#zine#mini zine#my art#traditional art#original art#i need to clarify the download is for free!!#i enjoy the extra money but you don't have to pay to download it!!!
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as an aroace, im particularly dangerous, because i wont fuck or marry. i only know how to kill.
#aroace#aromantic#asexual#asexuality#ace#aro#im so glad you guys are enjoying this stupid post i made at work#okay i wrote that at 3000 notes but what the FUCK is happening#10000 notes on this no effort fmk post and not one aspec i know irl#dgmw im still very happy that yall are enjoying this post but also like. come hang out with meeeeee :(#okay this is getting ridiculous. 40k notes and still no aspec irls. where the FUCK are you all
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[image id: a four-page comic. it is titled "immortality” after the poem by clare harner (more popularly known as “do not stand at my grave and weep”). the first page shows paleontologists digging up fossils at a dig. it reads, “do not stand at my grave and weep. i am not there. i do not sleep.” page two features several prehistoric creatures living in the wild. not featured but notable, each have modern descendants: horses, cetaceans, horsetail plants, and crocodilians. it reads, “i am a thousand winds that blow. i am the diamond glints on snow. i am the sunlight on ripened grain. i am the gentle autumn rain.” the third page shows archaeopteryx in the treetops and the skies, then a modern museum-goer reading the placard on a fossil display. it reads, “when you awaken in the morning’s hush, i am the swift uplifting rush, of quiet birds in circled flight. i am the soft stars that shine at night. do not stand at my grave and cry.” the fourth page shows a chicken in a field. it reads, “i am not there. i did not die” / end id]
a comic i made in about 15 hours for my school’s comic anthology. the theme was “evolution”
#dinosaur#evolution#comic#prehistoric#animal#wildlife#paleontology#biology#poetry#comics#original#my art#archaeopteryx has no direct living descendants i know#but i wanted something aerial and the dinosaur to bird connection is classic and well known anyway#also the chicken over any other bird is very on purpose#its the mix of truth and comedy and genuineness and the fantastic in the mundane#its me asking you to see something so wonderful in something taken so un-seriously#and to love it both ways#also the jurassic park thing#where someone saw the reconstructed gait of a dino#and said. hey hang on. i know that walk.#and pulled up footage of a chicken walking#which jumpstarted the entire study into the link between dinosaurs and birds#in the end take whatever you want from it i just thought id provide some insight#i always like it when other artists do#the point is that i enjoy when people laugh at the end and when they dont#and i like it when they cry. i like it best when they both laugh and cry. eeaao intent#anyway mourn your losses but to live is to change#also hi guys i finally figured out tipping after 5 months so no more annoying ko-fi link#the antidote to despair is awe
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rules for thee and not for me
#sorry the t/rf thing was like an actual roach infestation so I made a new post and deleted the old one and turned off reblogs#but I didn't want you to be without the og comic so here you go guys#nice fresh and clean#old tags ->#funnies#btw you're allowed to watch the silly sisters and the giggle brothers just keep your morals consistent istg#its very embarrassing when you criticize someone for enjoying something from a problematic creator#whilst openly being a fan of another thing with an awful creator and defending them because you like that thing#really weird hill to die on
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hii i recently fell in love with movies again so i made a uquiz where you can find out which actor would play you in a film about your life.
#enjoy <3#if you don't know the actor you get i've left a film recommendation!#i tried for a variety of actors but it had to be people i've watched relatively recently and had something to say about#like i haven't watched many films from the 70s/80s so not much from there#uquiz#film#quiz#personality quiz#mine#actor uquiz
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Just having some drinks at the local saloon.
#stardew valley#spoilers#stardew valley spoilers#stardew valley 1.6 update#drinking mayonnaise#also this was during a green rain day#so folks were already freaked out#i am making things worse on purpose haha#anyway i'm obsessed with the fact that you can drink mayo#and i enjoy that i'm properly shamed for it#imperatoralicia top hits
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skeletons have zero right to be that hard to draw
#farcille#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#marcille donato#falin touden#marcille#falin#dunmeshi#dunmeshi fanart#please dont look too closely i dont know how many ribs i drew but i know its wrong#just look at the pretty fabric oouuuug..#jangles keys#you dont see any skeleton... what skeleton...... i didnt draw any skeeleton......#fynori art tag :)#anyways enjoy the yuri
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Do u think gales autism would just make him immune to astarions manipulation tactics
#my art tag?#baldur's gate 3#gale of waterdeep#astarion#the “i enjoy our walks in silence” banter got me sorry#astarion in the background when you dont tell an orphan to fuck off or smthng: 🥺
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Thematically appropriate comic for Make a Terrible Comic Day!!
I saw the original post this morning and it made me get out of bed to make something, so thank u Pseudonym Jones mission accomplished
#makeaterriblecomicday2024#comic#comics#sketch#does this count as horror like comment subscribe down below#Ever since I stopped being on social media as often/stopped taking it deadly serious I've been able to fall back in love with the process..#...of art which is fantastic!! I do enjoy taking my time with things but it's still very easy to get caught up in making something Perfect#ESPECIALLY WITH COMICS#As a comic maker and comic enjoyer you have to remind yourself people speed through reading them. It's ok to take shortcuts#Every frame does not need to be a painting#Anyways this was a great way to make something after falling into an MMO hole for a few days...#unrelated did u guys know Wizard 101 is still alive with an active player base#Ok hopefully I can get back on track to finishing my next short horror comic in the next month or so wish me luck fellers
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