#but if you didn't have you wouldn't have anybody?
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
But he didn’t recognise Elita-1 when he met her....? “Who is that bot, are they crazy?” or something similar is what he says about her when they meet on the train. I don’t have the movie itself or a script to hand so I'm going off of my memory, but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t say anything to suggest they’ve met before.
This is what he says (again, according to my memory, so apologies for any mistakes) about the new shift manager: "We have limited access to the waste management area but the new shift manager there does NOT like distractions. No... No, they prefer we stay here, on the task at hand."
If he had left his work area recently enough to have "met" Elita (even from afar/without speaking to her), he surely should have recognised her on the train, right...? Elita also does not recognise B-127. I'm positive she would have remembered him if they had met and spoken before that point, considering how overly talkative he is - and the way she dismisses him when he introduces himself. If she'd been through that with him before, she wouldn't have been shy about letting him (and the audience!) know, I'm sure.
Whether the new shift manager is actually Elita-1 or not is unknown because she's reassigned to "waste management" (i.e. managing waste). It doesn't necessarily mean she is a manager there, and we also see her alongside other workers loading crates. Is that manager behaviour...? Besides, it makes sense any shift manager in that place would "not like distractions" because one slip-up could bring the Quintessons down on them. The workers there are unknowingly loading those trains with energon (not toxic waste). Even if the shift manager isn't privy to that information, they're probably under pressure from somewhere above to run a tight ship because it would be disastrous if the wrong crates were loaded onto those trains.
As for B-127, I think it's more likely he has overheard somebody else outside of his work area refer to a new shift manager (and the fact they don't like distractions/prefer bots to stay on the task at hand). That could have been as recently as Elita's demotion, or days or weeks ago. For all we know, the shift management position could have a high turnover rate on account of what is actually going on down there. The less bots who know about the energon/toxic waste switch-up, the better for Sentinel, surely.
Anyway, we know Bee didn't speak to anybody because he is pretty clear about his situation: "I just haven't had a lot of company since they put me down here in sublevel 50...", and he states, "sometime between a long time and forever" when Orion asks him how long he has been down there.
My guess is the most company he gets is leaving his designated work station (taking advantage of the "limited access" he has to the waste management area beyond his post), hoping he'll be able to speak to somebody else, only to be immediately redirected.
His emphasis on the "does NOT like distractions" is what is most interesting to me though. Because best case scenario, he's heard those exact words from a couple of bots he's eavesdropped on (desperate for company, but not actually able to participate in the conversation...) and is just regurgitating them verbatim for D-16 and Orion to make it sound like he's clued-in and knowledgeable, or worst case scenario he's had a bad experience at the hands of the "new" shift manager (one who predates Elita's arrival, whether as a worker or a replacement manager depending on what you believe), so he knows through personal experience just how much they do not like distractions, and this is his subtle, light-hearted way of communicating that...
Or it could just be a writing inconsistency, I guess! Maybe a scene got cut, and Bee had met Elita-1 down in the waste management area in a prior draft but they removed the necessary scene and kept that line about the "new shift manager" in anyway.
Otherwise, “new shift manager” is maybe just meant to tell us bots down there don’t last very long and the last one had to be replaced for some reason... Knowing more than they should, perhaps...?
Transformers One (mostly Bumblebee) things I can't stop thinking about.
During the film's opening when Orion Pax falls into a room and onto a table full of energon, he bundles a load of it into his arms and is eating as much as he can until he drops it all and has to keep fleeing.
He's starving. The miners are being underfed as well as overworked.
Additionally, we see Bumblebee has three rations on his person when he offers one up to wake Alpha Trion. This might suggest he's keeping these rations for when he'll need them rather than being able to comfortably feed himself. For the miners it's a scarce resource they have to be careful with, and yet the transformers on the higher levels are enjoying it in abundance.
Bumblebee urging D-16 to "stay down" during Sentinel's attack.
This is an interesting line - if it was a nothing line meant to reflect compassion/empathy, he could have urged Sentinel to stop, or implored the 'bots next to him to take notice and do something. There were other ways to demonstrate "Bumblebee is kind and doesn't want his friend to get hurt."
But he doesn't look to authority or anyone else around him for help on D-16's behalf.
He instead instructs D-16 on how to behave to get the abuse to stop.
Which suggests to me this is learned behaviour, and he's giving advice based on previous experience. He's learned that taking the punishment and letting it happen gets the perpetrator to eventually stop, but resisting and fighting against them keeps it going.
That he was reassigned continually right down into sub-level 50 would tell me he's had more than his fair share of annoying a bigger 'bot enough to get himself knocked around once or twice. And very likely, nobody witnessing the abuse helped him, and/or the authority in the room was the one perpetrating the abuse anyway, so of course they weren't going to step in and help.
The only way out for him has always been to just take it :( So he assumes this will be the quickest/least painful way out for D-16, too.
Bumblebee is as much of a nerd as Orion is.
He knows about the High Guard (and is very excited to recite what he knows about them), he recognises the Primes as soon as they come across them in the cave, he watches the broadcast Orion locates inside Steve's head with interest... It's very subtly done, but I think this is the main shared trait between Orion and Bee. I wish we had seen more of Bumblebee trying to talk to Orion about this shared interest, but I get the main relationship they wanted to portray was that between Orion and D-16 (and really enjoyed that regardless!)
Bumblebee knows how to leave sub-level 50, yet he still goes back to his post, and doesn't appear to be using this escape-time to socialise with anyone else on the other floors he can access since he is so very clearly starved of social contact.
I'm not crying, okay, I'm just imagining this poor little guy sitting out of view watching the other cogless 'bots come and go, knowing he could get into more trouble and be even more isolated if he announces his presence and gets himself caught.
Also his "limited access" to the waste management area, and that thing he says about the main one in charge there preferring that he stays on task and really not liking any distractions... Ugh.
Bumblebee is purposely isolated in that room and there's apparently enough of a deterrent to keep him in it that he is forced to make imaginary friends out of trash to talk to instead.
I'm gonna go insane with grief and rage.
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
drives me crazy || laia codina x reader ||
Laia trusts you, but that doesn't stop her from getting jealous.
18+
"I need a night out." You never could have imagined where that one sentence would take you. A bye week for Arsenal meant that when the weekend rolled around, some of the girls were more than happy to go out for the night with you. Somehow, Laia had managed to talk friends from other teams into going as well, and that was how you ended up sandwiched between two Spanish women who were definitely not your girlfriend.
You had known Leila for long enough to know the woman was handsy. You came to Arsenal from Manchester City, transferring after the Spanish woman's first season. The two of you were friends, so you didn't bat an eyelash at the way that her hands gripped your hips.
Laia Alexandri seemed to just follow Leila's lead when it came to dancing with you. Both women were getting a bit handsy with you, but you reminded yourself that they were naturally much more affectionate. You remembered the way that your own girlfriend had been early on your relationship. These two were even more naturally friendly and affectionate than your girlfriend seemed to be, so you were kind of letting a lot slide.
Your girlfriend, however, simply put, was not. Laia had been getting a couple of drinks at the bar, one for herself and one for you, when she looked over to see Leila tilt your head back. She had noticed you sandwiched between the two women earlier in the night, but now it genuinely looked like Leila was making a move on you. You seemed oblivious, and Laia had to remind herself that you weren't letting them do that because you were interested.
"No intervenga!" Laia shouted over the music. You felt yourself getting pulled away, and you opened your eyes to see Laia staring at Leila with murderous intent. Laia pushed you behind her towards the bar to collect the drinks while she pulled Leila off to the side. You watched them argue, knowing damn well both women were speaking Spanish too quickly for you to understand it if you had been close by.
"She does not look happy mate," Katie commented as she watched the exchange.
"I don't know if I should go over there." You were biting your lip, slightly worried that one of them would cause a scene. "What do you think?"
"I think that if Caitlin had let two other women touch her like that, we wouldn't be speaking for a while," Katie said. You suddenly got much more afraid of the situation. Laia and Leila parted ways, Leila going right back to the dance floor and finding herself someone else to dance with. Your girlfriend briefly stopped by the bar to grab you on her way out, not saying a word until the two of you were nearly halfway to the car.
"Laia, babe, I'm sorry," you apologized. Laia glanced back at you, but only briefly. "Laia, please talk to me."
"Are you doing that on purpose?" Laia asked you. You tilted your head at her, puzzled by her question. You hadn't done anything intently, things just got a little out of hand with Leila.
"No, I'd never knowingly put myself in a situation like that. I mean it, I'm sorry about the thing with Leila. I shouldn't have let her get that handsy with me." Laia put her hand up to stop you from rambling. She placed her hands around your waist, tugging you flush against her.
"You drive me crazy sometimes," Laia whispered, as if she was afraid of anybody else hearing her words. Her gaze was fixed on your lips, but she didn't kiss you. Laia only walked with her arm around your waist for the rest of the way. She was still a perfect gentlewoman, opening your door and shutting it for you before she made her way around to the passenger's side.
Laia didn't let anything take her attention away from you. She acted as if you'd cease to exist the moment that she did. Still, Laia waited until the two of you were safely inside of her apartment to do anything.
You shouldn't have been surprised, but you were caught off guard by Laia pressing you up against the door. Her hands made quick work of undressing you, only breaking the absolutely bruising kiss to toss your clothes away. Laia backed away only when you were naked, leaving you to feel a tiny bit exposed with Laia still completely dressed in front of you.
"I should never let you out of my sight. If I had my way, we'd never leave the bedroom," Laia told you. She grabbed you by the hand and walked you over to the couch. Laia sat down first, making herself comfortable before she pulled you onto her lap.
You landed with your knees on both sides of her lap. Laia kept you raised slightly as she ducked her head down to bury her face in between your breasts. You could feel her pressing kisses to the skin there, going back and forth between your breasts as her fingers came up to tweak and tease your nipples.
"Laia," you whined, hips canting forward, but not enough for any friction. Laia seemed to like the sound of you whining for her, so she pinched a little harder. You tried once again to seek out friction, only to come up with nothing. "Laia, please."
"Keep saying my name, I love to hear it. I don't ever want to hear anybody else's name. Only mine, just us," Laia told you. She didn't tease you for much longer. Her hands fell from your breasts and trailed down your sides until they met between your legs. It wasn't exactly what you wanted, but you could grind against the palm of Laia's hand now. "Tell me how much you want me, and I'll give you everything you want."
"Laia, please. I need you so fucking bad," you told her. Laia made you repeat yourself again andd again, just barely giving you more each time you asked. You felt like you were on the verge of crying before you finally felt her push two fingers inside of you.
"You're making such a mess on my lap. I can feel you dripping onto me," Laia said. You believed her, not having felt wet like this in weeks. Laia wasn't normally one to tease, but tonight, she was putting you through it. You knew that it was a punishment for letting her Spanish teammates touch you like that.
You knew that every moment you had to wait while Laia's fingers moved so close to where you wanted them was your fault. It gave you a bit of a rush, being punished like this, but you also hated it. You hated whining and feeling needy like this because you weren't used to it. Laia had never really driven you crazy like this, but you could see that she loved it.
"Cum for me, I can feel that pretty little pussy of yours trying so hard. You don't have to hold back. Stop thinking and just cum, that's all I want. Am I not good enough for you anymore? Do you need Leila for that now?" You didn't want to cum while Laia questioned you about Leila, but that was just how it went. Every rational thought flew from your head as Laia's thumb pressed against your clit. The pressure from that had you spilling out into the palm of her hand. "You're such a fucking dirty girl, but nobody is ever going to know it. That's a secret for me and you."
"Fuck Laia," you swore as you fell against her body. Laia wrapped her arms around you, holding you in a tight embrace. "Only us, just you and me."
#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso x reader#woso smut#minors do not interact#minors dni#laia codina x reader#laia codina imagine#laia codina smut
217 notes
·
View notes
Text
RELATIVES
Part 2
My hand was slightly clammy as I walked towards the door of where the girls are when I saw Kyra out of the corner of my eye, walking in a hallway. My excitement and energy got the better of me when I ran toward her and jumped on her back, Caitlin foord on her left and Victoria pelova on her right both looked at me in shock, I hadn't spoke to them before but I suppose they know who I am.
"IZ?!?! OMG" Kyra shouts spinning your round on her back before darting forward, you bouncing up and down. "BETHHH LOOOK" Kyra shouts down the hallway finally letting you down quickly engulfed in Beth's arms within a few mins girls had come over giving you hugs or handshakes saying hello and welcoming you. Then you saw her.
Leah stood in the corner of the snack bar keeping her focus on the group huddle round you, your gaze trying to see over then people to her. You break free Beth walks behind you as you sit on the sofa.
The rest of the training you stay clear of Leah, the interaction with her wouldn't have been good on the first day mabey tomorrow you said to yourself. Heading home to your new apartment ordering some food from macdonalds not really bothered to work out the cooker -too tired.
That night when you were chilling trying to find something to watch that won't bore you too much, you recieved a text from alessia asking if I needed anything round or if there's anything I need unpacked to which I don't but I think I'd like some company. The moving has been a lot and being alone with no family for a good while now meaning the travel and things inbetween you do alone, you lived with your older teammates before as coach thought it was best.
Alessia arrived bringing Beth with her, you let them in apologising for the boxes near the wall. You and the girls spent a while of catching up talking about how the travel was and how the training schedule is at Arsenal.
"We better get going soon, what did you think of everyone?" Beth asked as she took a bite of the chocolate brownie tray you had bought
"Yeah I like everyone they seem dead chill" you figet with the skin on your finger as stand up while they chat getting bored of the sitting.
"Have you met Leah before?, you didn't seem to talk ,niether did she" alessia points out. As you stand you house you knee bouncing.
"Yeah no, just met her before and we arnt very let's say close anymore" you say back to alessia putting hands in your tracksuit bottom pockets and walking a little but not too much trying to make it not noticeable.
"Sorry didn't want to make you uncomfortable" alessia started with a smile so much for not noticeable.
"Um no,no it's just." You take a break contemplating "Please don't say this to anybody I might have adhd the pysio at Washington noticed but I never got tested" you said the reason you didn't was , well, you didn't want to be alone while getting tested you were scared.
"Ohhh it's alright, it's totally fine we won't judge and promise we won't say anything unless you do alright" Beth smiled as they both stood up to leave. I showed them out saying goodnight and moving back to the living room of the apartment cleaning the bowls and sitting down.
Soon you found yourself going on a late night walk and by late night you ment about 2 in the morning you needed to release some energy you could sleep, you could sit on the sofa so it was the last resort. Before returning home you added some of the girls back posting a photo on your insta of the night and empty streets.
An-don't be timid to give feed back or if u want anything in it :)
#arsenal women#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso one shot#woso#woso x reader#alessia russo#arsenal wfc#england football#katie mccabe#leah williamson#beth mead#kyra cooney cross#steph catley#wsl#barclays wsl#womens football
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
Has anybody ever talked about how Welt is immediately the first one to jump in defense of dan heng when we ask him about the express crew?
Dan Heng was, in fact, the driest and coldest mfer you could find, I'm not going to deny that (hell, when I first started playing the game I didn't care about him in the slightest because of that). But Welt, the moment we just ask him about Dan Heng, immediately jumps onto saying that he isn't like that at all! That Dan Heng may appear cold and distant on the outside, but he's a child with a kind heart and he cares! He's just like that due to everything he's been through!
(also the way that he compared dan heng to his younger self... welt please, no more honkai impacting it out. you're making me cry.)
Welt also mentions that Dan Heng "told him he doesn't know what he's running away from, all he knew is that he had to run away". You know what that means?
That Dan Heng did talk with Welt about what he went through before the Express. Definitely not his time in the Shackling Prison, but the things that he encountered after he got exiled from the Luofu. That only proves that Dan Heng really does value Welt, he wouldn't tell something like this to anyone, so Welt must've really gained his trust somehow.
And don't get me started on how Welt says that he and Himeko will never let Dan Heng get hurt! And if anybody tries, they'll suffer their wrath! They're his biological parents, your honor. First Vidyadhara recorded to have parents.
I could yap so much more about Dan Heng's and Welt's relationship... Dan Heng really sees him as an authority figure, someone he looks up to by everything he says about him.
"Mr. Yang, could you provide your insight on this?" My guy, Mr. Yang is almost your father. He will kill everyone in the universe and then himself if even a hair falls off of your head. He is fathering so hard he is mothering.
(Himeko too, btw. I need to explain my view on Himeko's and Dan Heng's relationship as well.)
#I GOT MY DAN HENG THOUGHTS BACK YIPPE#thank you iotd ae crew scene thank you#IF ANYBODY DOESN'T KNOW I AM A HUGE ASTRAL EXPRESS FAN AND I WILL MAKE YOU LISTEN ABOUT THEM#I'm so excited for 2.7... void archives lore... more express lore... yummy...#dan heng#dan heng hsr#hsr#honkai star rail#welt#welt yang#welt yang hsr#found family#astral express#analysis#dan heng honkai star rail
64 notes
·
View notes
Text
it started with the bed.
by the time ron had woken up that morning he'd noticed harry's bed was already made and the other boy was nowhere in sight. harry's space in general looked tidied up, actually. the clutter he was used to seeing nowhere in sight. it wasn't unusual for harry to wake up earlier than him, but typically he left a bit of a trail behind him when he went off to wherever it was he went. he wasn't ever messy the way ron was, but his things were never tidy in a way that makes sense to anybody but him. a sock or two thrown about, school things dumped on top of his trunk, his gryffindor robes permanently living at the end of his bed when not in use.
he wouldn't have thought twice about it, really, if it weren't for the fact that the bed was made.
he's seen harry tidy up properly before, when whatever system he has going for him spirals out of control and he needs to reset. but making his bed has never been something he tries to keep up on. he can honestly say he's not sure if he's ever seen harry's bed made before once he's slept in it the first time after somebody else had made it for him.
he brushes it off to harry just being in one of his moods again, and starts getting ready to go down to the great hall for breakfast. he noticed harry's things in their dorm bathroom had been straightened up too and tucks the knowledge away for later.
once he reaches the great hall he immediately spots hermione's head of hair and beelines towards her, noting the lack of harry anywhere. also not an unusual sight, especially on a saturday.
harry never does show for breakfast, nor does ron see him later at lunch.
he doesn't actually see harry until midway though dinner that day, and once he does catch sight of him he can't help but stare a little bit. he doesn't look much different than normal, but his hair looks a little more put together than ron can ever remember seeing before, and he's got four books cradled in his arms, and his school bag slung over his shoulder. his shoes are tied properly and he doesn't look like he just rolled out of bed after a long night of not sleeping.
he glanced over at hermione sitting beside him and notices her looking at harry closely and feels relieved to know she thinks something is weird too.
"hello," harry says when he reaches them, ignoring the raised eyebrows hermione and ron himself were giving him.
"hi, harry," hermione greets him back easily, her head tilting slightly. "where have you been all day? this is the first time ive even seen you."
"i was in the library catching up on my essays."
neither one of them can help the surprise that flashes across the faces and ron sees harry look at them like he's confused. he was as bad at writing his essays as ron was, why was he so confused if they were surprised that he not only did his homework completely unprompted, but that he had spent all day doing all of his homework.
"the library?" ron asks, wanting to laugh. "didn't realize you knew where that was, mate."
"of course i know where the library is, it's not like i've never been there before."
"obviously, you've been there; it's not really your happy place though, is it?"
harry just looked confused again before shaking his head and starting to fill his plate. he grabbed a small spoonful of peas, which ron thought was odd since harry didn't even like peas.
"i just wanted to get it all done, why does it matter so much?" harry mumbles irritably.
"harry," hermione interrupts, "why do you have a book for ancient runes? you don't even take the class."
"one of the books i was reading for a charms essay mentioned some stuff about runes and it sounded interesting," he shrugs at her. "i didnt really understand anything it was talking about so i grabbed a beginner book."
while hermione was definitely the bookworm out of the three of them, harry did his fair share of reading too. ron's seen him with his face in a book more than once, but he'd never really seen him go out of his way to read. especially not about a completely new subject to him that he'd never shown an hint of interest in before.
he saw a similar confusion work its way through hermione and they both looked at each other.
"are you okay, mate?" ron asks hesitantly, looking at harry.
harry looks up at him then and his eyes widen just a little bit, looking a bit lost all of the sudden.
"im fine," he says, eyes quickly scanning the hall before looking down at his plate and scrunching his nose up at the peas there. "i guess i just lost track of time."
"you made your bed this morning, mate."
"harry made his bed this morning?"
harry looked offended for a moment before relaxing again.
"what's so wrong with me making my bed? isn't that supposed to be a good thing?"
"you never make your bed," ron pointed his fork at harry and sees hermione nodding out of the corner of his eye.
"you did your homework without me telling you to," hermione added, and this time it was ron nodding along. "you checked out a book from the library on a subject you don't take for extra curricular reading."
harry looked confused again, but his eyes darted down to the school supplies and books beside him and he looked ready to get defensive again so ron decided to ease the tension a bit.
harry was already in some sort of mood, so it wouldn't do any of them any good to work him up any more than he already is. he'd tell them eventually if something serious was going on.
"it's almost like you're possessed or something, mate," ron joked, glancing over at hermione and missing the way harry had paled at the words.
Possession fic but Harry has crippling ADHD (or whatever) and Voldemort's possession either through control or just reminding him of what he's supposed to be doing is making Harry so competent that people start to get suspicious.
#less control and more than remind type of possession#somewhere in between#hp#harry potter#ron weasley#hermione granger#my writing#its midnight and i fid this in one go oops#pls ignore atrocious grammar and messiness
241 notes
·
View notes
Text
my life may be absolutely crumbling down but you guys will not believe how good the ice cream i had yesterday was. ice cream is always enough to fix all of life's problems
#the shop insists on calling it gelato though do you think the gelato gets sad that i call it ice cream?#anyway best cookies and cream one i remember having#but now back to my life being a mess#have you ever been in a situation where you have only one (1) friend that friend unfortunately happens to be a really shitty friend but#but if you didn't have you wouldn't have anybody?#yeah#also i'm not saying that i feel like i can't breathe bc too much work and the ghost of my thesis haunting me 24/7#but that's exactly what i'm saying#i keep waking up earlier and going to seep later and it's never enough???#i do want to write my thesis i want to be fucking done with it but i Genuinely feel like i don't have time#i wrote 15k words for work this week and i need to do 10k more before thursday i'm going to lose my mind#and no top of that there's family? my stupidly adorable little cousins love me and there's one coming over for a sleepover tonight and????#i didn't want that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i should delete this post without posting it but i'm doing it in honor of the ice cream and just putting it out there#ignore me <3
16 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi! would you by any chance have tips on how to get a binder when your parents refuse to buy you one? ☹️
That's definitely a sensitive and complex answer, and while I might not know of the best option for your unique situation, there are some ways you can go about this.
If it's a foregone conclusion that you cannot convince them of this, what I used to do is DIY my binder. The ways I primarily did this were:
Option One: Wearing a camisole that was one size smaller than I actually was (so, wearing a small instead of a medium, for instance), then folding it up over my chest. As a disclaimer, this may only work well if you are smaller in the chest
Option Two: Layering two sports bras in my size over each other. Some of the DIY tips I found before I got a traditional binder advised to wear one sports bra in your size, then wear another sports bra backwards in a size smaller. I would advise against this for potential safety reasons, but also because (at least personally), it can be ineffective and a waste of resources.
Some people have also had friends or other family members order their binder for them, but this can be risky, depending on your situation. While I don't know the ins and outs of your specific circumstances, risk management is important to me, so I would recommend this if it is a risk that is acceptable to make.
I understand what it's like to not have access to this resource, so what I will do is advise you against:
Binding with ace bandages (I did this before (multiple times, in fact, because of dysphoria), and believe me, not only did it hurt like hell, but it constricted my body so heavily that I may have done long-term harm)
Wearing a DIY binder (or any kind, for that matter) for longer than your body can handle
Doing DIY in such a way that even mimics binding with ace bandages. This means that your binder shouldn't constrict your ribs, breathing, or range of movement
Here are some general good practices that you should use to guide you for any type of binding, whether traditional or DIY:
When you start binding, only do so in very short sessions to begin with. While binding shouldn't outright hurt, it can be a weird transition while your body is getting used to that new sensation
Minimize heavy lifting or exercise while binding. If it is unavoidable, drink plenty of water and take plenty of breaks
Stretch after binding
Don't bind while sick or have inflammation in your lungs or chest
If you DIY, treat your binder like it is a traditional binder. Don't make the mistake of assuming you don't need to listen to your body because you aren't using a "traditional" binding method
Ultimately, listen to your body. If it is telling you that it needs a break, honour that. Your body isn't punishing you, it is trying to keep you (and it) safe, even if it doesn't feel like it
In the end, this isn't perfect. Sometimes, parents do come around, even in their own ways, even if little by little, they come around. When I first came out officially around 2016, I was convinced that my transition would be completely forbade by my family; I concealed a lot of it in the worst instances of this. However, now, I think most of my family has come through their own journey with the understanding of the reality of what and who I am. I tell you this, anon, because I want you to know that this, too , shall pass. You can make it. I know this might be devastating to you, and believe me, I know what that's like. But it won't be forever. These bridges aren't burnt forever, and I hope you can find your happiness and contentment wherever it may be.
#ask#anon#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#long post#if anybody has other tips or ideas then feel free to speak up#this is what i did before officially binding and what i have seen other trans people do in lieu of getting a 'real' binder#it did suck when i was coming out because i don't think my family had any idea how *their* hang-ups with... me as a person... affected me#and i think a lot of people get their preconceived notions or headcanons of you stuck in their head to the point that it is Reality#i think part of why my dad started actually *trying* to accept me was him realizing that i was actively hiding things from him...#...like he loves me and our relationship is fine now but i'm not going to pretend like he didn't massively blunder after i came out#and if it turns out that your parents don't ever come around (gd forbid) then you aren't obligated to keep them#you don't choose your parents but you can choose your family i think#i always always hope that parents come around to their child/ren and the reality of who they are but i recognize how messy it all is#anon i wouldn't blame you one bit if you feel many complex or 'negative' emotions toward them#i have many complex feelings about this and that's my own baggage. i hope i haven't put words into your mouth or assumed anything too much#i am sending you best wishes and care. this too shall pass💛
62 notes
·
View notes
Text
ahhhhhhhh guess who made the mistake of getting a haircut
#i was planning on growing it out for real i swear#but then the back of my hair got to that length (like it always does) where it starts touching the back of my neck wrong and i cant stand it#so i figured I'd juuuuuust get a trim maybe only the back so it wouldn't keep bugging me#and it started off pretty good too she was doing well with everything and i liked the way it looked#then she asked me a question with two options. and i answered the question. and she repeated my answer. good enough right?#well i think she maaaay have forgotten my answer in the span of like 2 seconds bc she started cutting SUPER short suddenly#and now my perm is completely gone lol#i think she's used to going a bit shorter so it looks good in like a week when it's grown out a bit#and you don't have to go back for a haircut every 2 weeks#but like. i would rather not hate my reflection (more than usual) for a week or two while it grows out yknow#eurghhhh it's not that bad tbh ive had haircuts where i wanted to kill myself and this is just 'hmm maybe i should wear a hat for a week'#but still. very annoying. and especially so bc i was actually feeling optimistic with where we were going at the start#anyway there's this weird phenomenon that keeps happening where I accidentally get my hair cut too short#then i decide this is going to be the time i finally grow my hair out for real#and after a while the back reaches that length where it starts bothering me again#and ill get a haircut juuust for a trim#then i somehow end up with a bowlcut#it's an emo bowlcut to be clear. so im not super hung up about it bc i still love that haircut for reasons i cannot comprehend#but everybody else seems to go 'ew a bowlcut why' except for the alt queers who go 'omg gender'#which i consider to be one of the biggest compliments i could ever get. and have gotten. seriously that moment will never leave my mind#like having someone that you consider Gender to look at you and say *you're* very gender? my crops have been watered my cattle have been fed#etc etc. anyway this currently has the shape of a bowl cut but it's too short esp on top#so im back in my 'okay im gonna grow it our FOR REAL this time' phase again. as it goes. like fucking sisyphus.#anyway. im gonna be tearing it up in the pit at origami angel tomorrow so if anybody's also going feel free to join me there#just gotta let off some steam. goddammit i knew i should have gone the queer route and just done it myself. in my defense i still had a perm#and i didn't trust myself to cut curly hair. turns out i shouldn't have trusted the barber either bc she just held it straight out#and chopped right across. and soon the curls were gone and everything was straight. ...that sounds like a metaphor for conversion therapy#'yeah just head into that place by the time you leave you'll be straight'#anyway. sorry for the waterfall of tags if ur still here kudos to you and may you have a wonderful day#mine
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay i'm out of evil mode. peace love and a little bit of still-tired on planet earth lol 🧃
#just me hi#slept ! ! ! was it good? hell nah kfshvg#but i slept :D#wasn't allowed to go to bed for a couple hours cuz parents wanted to play a movie. it was good but it put me in a weird headspace lmsfh#//ooou my ear's doing the Thing#you know the thing. the thing it does. loll#ever since that ant was in there that one time (dear lird) when i wake up from laying on it it'll feel like. a bit inflamed on the inside ?#and kinda itchy. not good things but it's likely not going to kill me so 💥💥#'it's likely not going to kill me' <- things i likely said while pretending i couldn't see anything for like 3-4 years#oh but yea i'm going to assume it's nothing bc i was also getting phantom feelings and sounds for some weeks that caused panic so i'm not#even going to put weight on it. it's just itchy no biggy Kfshvhf :)#//anyway i think i also had a dream but i do Not remember those well At All lol#i know the last one had oath in it though so that one was cool. don't remember much else but that was sick Lmfsh :3#//Ohh it's rainingggg yippeeee :D <3#don't get much snow but we'll get tons of rain... i miss you michigannnnn <//3#//but anyway the dream thing just reminded me#so this detail may not be important but my oldest brother and i are joked to be twins. there's 2 years and at least a foot of height betwee#us (i am the short). people get our voices mixed up when we talk low and i think that's funny#we were also thick as thieves as kids. not a good thing for anybody else but Yeagh kfshvg#but there was this one time we'd both woken up and were talking abt both having had a dream the night before; giving details and such#and we had the same dream ? it's still kinda odd to this day but we had the Same Exact Dream on the same night. if not odd it's neat! :3#anyway so somewhere in the past year my brother (apollo) got a lunar on his right index finger#i kept forgetting tho and asking if it was a blood bruise (that is my bad boss ✋) and eventually the info stuck in my head#anyway so somewhere in the past two months i also got a lunar on my right index finger. i didn't even notice it until i was tryna wash my#hands and it wouldn't come off lmaoo#now that's going on ig. the timeline-clone theory grows stronger every day Kfhsvhfgsfg#//forgot what else i was going to say i went to go look into the phrase 'thick as thieves' lol#i don't understand how someone heard 'thick' and thought 'yeah. that means close now' kfshd#anyway it's old as you've prolly guessed. the earliest spot it's popped up was a newspaper that printed a letter that was written in 1827#but it mighta been used earlier than that. neat!
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
chills || patri guijarro x reader ||
You really did wish that Patri would listen to you more.
"Ugh, why is it so hot?" Patri complained as she flopped back onto the bed of your hotel room. Spain could get pretty hot, but it wasn't the same heat that you had grown up around. You had assumed that Patri's time spent with you on your little road trip would be fine, but she was really starting to struggle the closer the two of you got to your hometown.
"Patri, you only just turned the air on. It takes a little while to cool the whole room down," you told her. Patri didn't listen and continued to turn the temperature down. "You probably need to change your clothes. That fabric traps in body heat, and you've been sweating a lot."
"Whatever, I'm going to take a shower," Patri told you. You sighed, turning the temperature up a bit so that Patri didn't get cold when she got out of the shower. You felt like the room was at a nice temperature, but you could tell that Patri disagreed by the way she huffed and puffed when she got out of the shower.
"Patri, what are you doing?" you asked as you watched her go for the AC again. "You don't want to turn that down right now."
"I'll be fine." It wasn't like Patri to just dismiss you. You knew that she had expected things to be cooler with the time of year. Still, she was being a bit more snappy than what you were used to.
"Patri don't set that too cool. You just got out of the shower, and you're gonna make yourself sick," you said. Patri just groaned as she flopped onto the bed, not even acknowledging you. "Patri, did you hear me?"
"Yes, and oh my god, I'll be fine," Patri grumbled. You forced yourself to stay calm and ignore her for the time being. You started watching whatever crime show was being marathoned on the TV while Patri watched game highlights on her phone and texted her teammates.
You weren't sure how long had passed before Patri eventually just fell asleep. You were pretty tired as well, but you waited until after you turned the AC off to take your shower. Patri didn't stir, only moving to cuddle with you after you'd gotten back into bed. It was as she began to snore a little that you realized that she was starting to get sick.
To anybody else, it would have seemed like nothing, but you knew Patri didn't snore. The only time she ever snored was when she was sick. You hated that you were right and wouldn't even be able rub it in her face because Patri was absolutely awful whenever she got sick. You loved her, but she turned into the absolute biggest crybaby whenever she came down with a common cold.
…
"Amor? Mi amor, please wake up," Patri whined. You had no idea what time it was, but you could clearly see that it was still dark. Patri was pushing at your shoulder and shaking you out of your slumber.
"Patri stop, I'm trying to sleep," you told her. Your words were slightly muffled, but you knew that Patri heard you.
"Mi amor, I don't feel good. Will you go get me some medicine please?" You didn't have to look at Patri to know that she was pouting at you. Grumbling and muttering angrily under your breath, you shuffled out of bed. "Oh, and something to drink."
"Oh no, I'll be fine. It's too hot, I have to make our room feel like Antartica. Don't tell me what to do, I know what's best. I don't care that I'm wet, it needs to be practically freezing or I'll throw a hissy fit," you muttered as you made your way out of the hotel room. You continued on your rant as you went out to the car. Patri texted you a little list of things that she wanted from the store, but you only really grabbed the essentials.
You grabbed a couple of things for yourself, mainly snacks because you knew Patri wouldn't let you get away for the rest of the day. She seemed to always need twice as much affection as usual whenever she was sick. You knew it was because you wouldn't kiss her, so she tried to make up for it by holding you with a death grip in her arms for most of the day. It was a struggle to get her to let you go long enough to use the bathroom most of the time.
"Did you seriously turn the AC on again?" You felt like you were gonig to lose your mind with Patri. "How the hell do you think that you got sick?"
"I ate that chicken tender off of the floor of your car," Patri guessed. You had momentarily forgotten about that and the small argument that had come from it. In all honesty, it could have been a mix of things, but you were pretty certain that it was from the shower incident.
"No because if that was the case, I'd be sick too. I am not, and that's because I didn't freeze myself half to death after taking a shower," you said. Patri pouted, ready to rant about you being mean to her while she was sick. "I know that it's the morning, but you're taking the PM medicine and we are going back to sleep."
"But I wanted a cup of coffee," Patri tried to tell you. You weren't having any of it. You got her the pills she needed and opened her drink for her as you climbed back into bed. "Thank you for taking care of me."
"You're welcome, now close your eyes and don't wake me up unless you're actively dying until 9," you told her. Patri let out a sad sigh as you turned your back to her. "I can't kiss you, you're sick."
"But then I can take care of you," Patri said sweetly. "You love it when I take care of you when you're sick."
"Baby, I have to be healthy to get us through this trip. I promise that once you're better, you'll get all of the kisses that you want," you told her. Patri seemed happy with that as she took the position of big spoon. You hadn't planned on spooning with her, but it was definitely a happily welcomed surprise.
149 notes
·
View notes
Text
things about the dr anime intro that just hm.
1) seductively dancing monokuma. why. why is this a thing. why do we need a tile image of multiple seductively dancing monokuma.
2) when it shows the elevator to the class trial. it includes junko. junko is never on that elevator. she's dead before the first trial. which like. is a fun tidbit actually and gives a nice image of what might have been.
#musings#bandit liveblogs#bandit liveblogs danganronpa#no seriously when i saw the anime the seductively dancing monokuma was the weirdest thing#i'm less bothered by it now#also like#thinking about mukuro pretending to be junko during a class trial#compared to how she reacted when she didn't have the proper lines in dr0#like...i can see why junko would make the comment that she wouldn't be able to accurately portray her long-term#and like - i used to wonder why you know mukuro couldn't just be mukuro#like...why did she have to pretend to be junko#but like - makoto's opening explains that#anybody who wanted to look up their classmates (or potential classmates) would EASILY find junko#she's plastered EVERYWHERE#in modifying their memories she couldn't know how far back she'd have to go to remove THAT knowledge#so /junko/ HAD to be there in one form or other#it would be odd if she wasn't
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#i have no where else to vent im sorryyy#do you ever think so hard you feel like you'll destroy yourself#that's all i've done for years!#and i just want to move on but i'm stuck again#struggling so hard to become sober#and it literally wouldn't matter if i wasn't having this stupid medical problem#i'm starting to not be able to enjoy myself because my ears feel like shit all time!#and it's from my smoking but i'm too depressed to stop#i did it before but it was hell#my life feels so meaningless and i wish i could stop thinking about certain relationships#but i don't feel like i have any relationships anymore#i'm not close to anybody and i feel so much pressure when talking to people#to be someone i'm not and i wish i didn't#so it doesn't even feel worth it#and i wish i knew hat my problem was#i wish everything was easier#and i feel like i have to just laugh it off all the time#because no one truly cares#i'm all alone and i don't know how to fix anything i'm going through#because i don't think i can#i always knew i was doomed#and i keep thinking i'm probably going to die soon#because some people just die young.#i'm too broken and unlovable it feels like#and all my problems are going to get worse#and i feel embarassed of myself and all this shame that never goes away#vent
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
cellbit stuck on a costumer service job post prison and having not great therapy and being like ugh. ugh. trying to 'make it up to people' and get better while not disclosing he's done actual murders because he would not be free if he did. He roomed with Felps for a bit but then he found this very cheap place to live in and he just got that job and he knew Felps is not taking him changing seriously and was probably still doing bad shit that could get him in trouble. And he does want to keep having the somehow friendly relationship he has with Pac and Mike now, so.
He goes to check it out, and it's cheap it's very small but he's lived in worse places. If he feels there's something off about the residents and if the meat they cook tastes just like human flesh that's surely his own imagination right? if his hot new neighbour Roier sometimes has an odd look on his face or says strange things that's probably Cellbit projecting that he somehow knows about his past and is seeing right through him, RIGHT?
#sfh AU#WATCH STRANGERS FROM HELL PLS PLS PLS PLS#i thnk pac and mike and cellbit first meet up again bc they run into each other and have a solidarity moment of being runaways who had to#build everything back up and Pac had been feeling guilty about cellbit 'dying' too. and also cellbit had found a baby kitty and was taking#care of it and i think this makes both of them surprised idk there's some kind of richas equivalent that makes them think he is trying.#but anyway i won't derail into those sorry i am celltw at heart always#cellbit being made much worse by the job and then the house#only able to self soothe by having murder fantasies: I'M SO NORMAL I'M SO NORMAL I'M SO NORMAL#evil hot roier: ;)#(prev description applies to the MC of sfh I'm telling you get on this show)#i think the way to do this is that cellbit thinks having people who care for you and comitting atrocities are exclusory (which they are for#normal people)#so in prison he didn't 'want' or need anybody but almost dying made him realize he was lonely and he did want people and he was genuinely#hurt by tazercraft's betrayal etc. but he can't be himself and have that. so he starts to control himself and focus on trying at having a#normal life bc maybe he just never got a chance at it and maybe he'll be happy with it. but he's not fully#and roier's gonna show him you can have a ride or die while still being a serial killer who liks to eat people. love is love etc#they still keep up with tazercraft after. maybe at some point they find out but they get them to see that they're family now and that#Cellbit & Roier wouldn't hurt them specifically which imo I think they'd be ok with mostly#bagi's not in this bc i don't know how to have her there without . her getting hurt. maybe they meet her later after they're a thing#like in canon#i also think the idea of cellbit writing crime novels starting as a way to control himself but wth help from sugar daddy roier doing more#and being successful bc he 'really gets into the mind of the killers' is . lol.
1 note
·
View note
Text
tag vent post
#omfg i hate twitter so much#h*llch**r shippers are so annoying over ther for fucks sake#i censored the ship name so it wouldn't show up in twitter's search engine#but the shippers found me and harassed me either way because they can't fucking ignore people who don't ship h*llch**r#i jokingly said to lucia 'they really do be out there trying to make their ship' popular#because at the paris con all people apparently knew to ask about was:#'would chrissy and eddie have a romantic relationship if they were alive'#and they asked it to people who weren't even part of the ship#anyways#then suddenly a whole day later i get notifs from h*llch**r shipers saying#'we don't need to try they are popular'#like yeah right say that to the top ten ship tags on tumblr#or the numbers of videos on tiktok under each ship tag#steddie (and ronance) is bigger and more popular than h*llch**r fandom wise#and we didn't need to impose our ship onto anybody for it to become this big mind you#it's the thing i said on the tags of that post that talked about canon ships or wtvr#of course h*ll*ch**r will be a 'popular halloween couple costume' because it's a fucking m/f ship#it doesn't mean it's more popular within fandom#this need to feel that a ship is better than the other and to rub it into peoples faces is so annoying#fucking enjoy your ship in your corner and let people enjoy other ship in their corner#it wasn't me going to random h*llch**r shippers twt accounts and harassing them#it was the oposite#fucking hell#also hide your homophobia a little better
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hey anybody going to talk about rescued sacrificial maidens. Like yes a guy with a fuck off sword turned up and so you're not getting fed to the dragon/water creature/mountain spirit/vague embodiment of all things scary and you get to go back home, but is that really home? Your mom hugs you and your dad says he's so happy you're alive and you know that when they said they'll do anything to keep you safe they didn't really mean it. They have a feast prepared and you get to taste what they cooked for your funeral, help wash the dishes after. And it's selfish to think that between the whole village with everyone in it and you they wouldn't pick the lesser evil but it still leaves an emptiness in your chest, knowing exactly how much your life is worth. And the neighbors smile at you awkwardly and the neighbors' kids yell "hey! I thought you died!" because they don't know not to do that yet and maybe you did. Maybe you did.
And the hero with the fuck-off sword rode off into the sunset the way they always do but you're still here and you herd the cows by the cliff where you were tied up in your cleanest clothes waiting to not be alive anymore and sometimes you think that would be easier and when you don't come back one day, you can imagine it's a relief for everyone involved. Maybe you'll be the new thing to haunt the mountain, or maybe you'll follow down the road and listen for cries that sound like yours did. Either way, there's little left to fear. You know exactly how much your life is worth.
26K notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't strongly want any of them to go home tomorrow but I do see something positive about each one leaving.
MJ goes home the inaccurate read spiraling and hours of rambling in circles will stop
Angela goes home the blowing up at people for small reasons and the paranoia towards her allies will stop
Tucker goes home and the other house guests fascination with him stops, along with the fear people have that he's going to comp out
#MJs rambling wouldn't even be that bad if they didn't keep the feed on her for so long ngl#like sometimes you know there's better conversations and the feed will be on her going over something she's talked about all day#Angela and Tucker's unpredictability has been fun to watch but there have been times when it's gotten tiring#I don't know who goes home between Angela and MJ but last I checked they had settled on mj?#which seems like a mistake to me because I feel like MJ would be easier to take in if somebody managed her properly#Tucker had her for a second there and he mismanaged her once his HOH reign ended#I think Tucker would go home next to anybody and I thought that from the moment he touched to the block
0 notes