#but if you can either 1 let me see the channel or 2 remove whatever gives me the notification PLEASE I'm begging you

[post-shift2]

Update nobody was asking for. They did not remove whatever role gave me the ability to get notifications about this channel, but I can't see it. I just get notified when they message without seeing any messages.

If one of the mods in the ps2 discord is following this page & noticed I said this,,,

Somehow was mistakenly given admin powers in the secrrt Post Shift discord? I have not said anything to mods bc I am entertained by this.

[truglori]

Homebody (Ch.12)

Summary: Amiyah is the younger sister of local drug dealer (Durkio). Shy and reserved she keeps to herself and stays out the way. But lately she began to find interest in his right hand man/ best friend (Erik Stevens). Wanting to get him to notice her she discovers that he already had her wrapped around his finger without even trying! There was only a few problems that kept her away from her fantasies , her brother that controlled almost every single breath she took and would kill anyone who looked at her that way and lastly Eriks girlfriend, Alexis , who they called the queen of the hood according to her lavish lifestyle as well as being with the next newest top boy in the making. While Alexis was his girl to the streets all Amiyah wanted to do was be his Homebody...

Pairing: Erik Stevens x Thick OC

Warning: Language, Smoking

1 1/2 months later

The music from Amiyah’s speaker played at a low level. She was currently in the process of setting up an organizer for her perfume collection. Going back in forth between the instructions on the manual and screwing in the tiny nails she was growing frustrated. It’s been almost and hour now and she was only able to put together two shelves. Throwing down the paper she stood up and slipped on her house shoes. Amiyah needed a break to keep herself from becoming irritated so she walked to the kitchen for a snack.

Keys unlocking the front door caught her attention. It was Durk walking in with another Louis Vuitton bag for the fourth time this week. Amiyah knitted her eyebrows together wondering what was up with all of the shopping he’s been doing. She watched him walk to his to put away his items before he walked back into the livingroom.

“What’s up sis? You didn’t have to work today?” Durk asked pulling out his weed tray and breaking down the bud.

Amiyah walked over to him and sat down. “Nope I was just getting ready to make me some food but I’m too tired to cook.” Taking a pillow she cradled it in her lap.

He snickered rolling up his blunt. “I’ll order something for you if you want?”

Nodding her head Amiyah grabbed the remote to the tv and turned it on. She flipped through the channels hoping to find something to ease her mind for the moment. Durk leaned back next to her sparking up the blunt. Amiyah watched him inhale and exhale the smoke through his nose. Reaching her hand out she made a gesture asking for a hit.

“You know damn well you don’t smoke.” He removed the blunt from his mouth but handed it to her anyway. Durk figured it would be funny to see her try to get high for the first time.

Amiyah grabbed it using her nail tips she took a pull and inhaled the smoke smoothly and blew it out. She did it a few times and then she passed it back.

Durk furrowed his brows looking surprise before sending her a blank stare. “Miyah who the hell taught you how to do that?” He asked gently snatching the blunt away from her.

She laughed and was about to say his name before she caught herself. Shrugging her shoulders her eyes fell to the floor. The grip on her pillow tightened against her chest. Her memory went back to the night she watched how Erik did his technique in the car and she copied him. The thought of him made her sad all over again. Amiyah would always do good until she did something that reminded her of him then she would get a strong feeling of emotions that washed over her.

It’s been over a month since she last seen him. Since the night she ended it with him to be exact. After that it was like he never existed. No more phone calls or text messages. He hasn’t even been by the apartment since then either. Before, if she saw her brother coming in she knew that Erik would be right there behind him with his beautiful smirk on his face that displayed his dimples. But there’s been nothing and it made her miserable inside.

Amiyah didn’t want to be the reason for him to not come over anymore. She was used to seeing his face almost every other day and to see that it changed because of her made her upset with herself. Not only that, because of his absence, Amiyah didn’t know if Erik and her brother were still good friends. Durk had mentioned his in a conversation a week after their last exchange and that was the last time. Amiyah was worried about him. She wanted to know how he was doing but mostly she wanted to have a second chance with him.

“Yo what you got a taste for?” Durk snapped her out of her thoughts.

“Uh it doesn’t matter. Whatever you order.” She sighed sitting the pillow next to her.

He nodded his head as he finished his blunt putting it in his ashtray. A text notification came to his phone. Amiyah heard him curse before messaging whoever it was back.

“What’s wrong?”

“Just going back and forth with this promoter about letting me throw a bash at the club for the night. You know with Valentines Day coming up on Saturday.” Durk answered staying on his phone.

Amiyah knitted her brows. “Why you tryna throw a bash? Why not just get VIP and call it a night?” She asked confused leaning her head on her hand.

Durk smacked his lips. “Because I’m doing this for the whole hood. Plus it’s a celebration for something else that I’m not telling yo nosy ass about. But I’m have my niggas to the right and nothing but bad bitches to the left. It’s bout to be a movie.” He playfully plucked her nose before getting up going into the kitchen.

Amiyah followed after she heard who he planned to have there. Erik popped into her head. She wanted to know if he was going to be one of the members in the group. She had to know so she figured she could ask for an invite.

“Well can I go?” She sat on the counter next to him.

Durk chuckled. “Since when you go to parties?”

“Since now. So can I come?” Folding her arms she pressed for the second time.

“No. Amiyah I’m not allowing you around these people. You know I don’t like you being around that type of shit anyway.” He stated while eating grapes from out of the package.

Amiyah scoffed. “ ‘Allow’? Durk I thought we just made up about this. You promised you would stop treating me like a baby and let me live and learn responsibility. That was what you told me, remember?”

After her and Erik’s first argument she had him take her home. Later that night Durk came back to find her there. He was happy that she decided to come back and they talked out their problems. Amiyah told him how she felt about him treating her like a child and how he had to stop. Durk was hesitant but agreed in letting her make her own choices from now on to help her become responsible.

Placing the bag of fruit on the table Durk eyed his sister folding his arms as well. He shook his head as he gave in.

“Damn alright you can go but yo ass is standing beside me the whole night. I’m not playing with you Amiyah.”

Interrupting him Amiyah hopped off the counter jumping up and down clapping her hands. She skipped up to him and wrapped her arms around his body giving him a bear hug.

“Thank you big brother!” She grabbed his face bringing it down to kiss his cheek.

“Miyah stop acting like I keep yo ass chained up in this house all day ‘fore I change my mind. Extra ass.” He pushed her away.

“Okay I have to get an outfit, my nails done. Can I bring Kelly? Who’s all going to be there?” She rushed him with questions.

“I guess you can bring the one and only lil friend you got.” He laughed.

Amiyah pushed his shoulder. “Okay but who’s gonna be there?” She asked hoping to get the answer she was anticipating for.

He shrugged. “I don’t know shit Moe, Erik, Cane, and a few other people I rock with.”

Her heart stopped when she heard Erik’s name. But when she heard Cane’s she felt her stomach flutter with nerves. How the hell did her brother know Cane? It was too much for her to catch up with the fact that two of the guys in his circle had her caught up. If they were both planning on being at the bash then Amiyah would try her best to avoid being around them at the same time.

“Cool!” She gave a half smile.

Durk snapped his fingers. “Oh I’ve been meaning to ask you. Your birthday coming up in a few weeks. Got any plans?”

“No not really. Why?” She stepped closer trying to figure out what he had planned.

“If you down I was thinking outta the country and a place that has dazzling white sand and water so clear that you can see your toes in it. What you think about that?” He asked speaking in a narrator tone.

Amiyah covered her mouth. “Please tell me you’re talking about what I think you’re talking about?”

Durk laughed at her reaction. “You tryna go to Turks and Caicos or what?”

Amiyah jumped on him as he caught her. Turks and Caicos was one of her top places she had on her traveling bucket list. She couldn’t believe that he was able to make this happen for her. She was truly greaful but curious.

“Wait I want to go but why you trying to bring me now? You coming up on here with shopping bags every other day and now you taking me on vacation. I mean I know you got money and everything but did you win the lottery or something?” She asked playfully unable to contain her smile.

He laughed. “You asking too many questions. Next week I’ll give you some money so you can start shopping for the trip. But right now I got to go check out the venue I’ll be back. Love you kid.” He tapped her head before leaving.

Amiyah smiled watching her brother disappear out the door.

__________________________________

“So you tryna tell me you never saw the movie Soul Food?” Harmony stopped in the middle of crocheting her blanket.

Erik chuckled shaking his head. “Nah I told you I wasn’t a big movie watcher growing up.”

“But Soul Food is a classic though. Like how you do as a black person go your whole life without watching it? Make it make sense Erik?” She giggled going back to her knitting.

“Damn you ain’t gotta come for my childhood like that though.” He sat up on her furniture.

“Oh that’s right I keep forgetting your younger than me so I understand.”

Erik rolled his eyes shaking his head. He was 25 and she was 26. Harmony only had him by one year and always had to bring it up almost every time they got together. But Erik knew it was nothing but jokes with her. They were at her duplex hanging out for the afternoon. Over the past couple of weeks Erik got acquainted with Harmony really well. Her and her brother took over the bar where she worked that her parents passed down to them. She lived right around the block from him. But also they had a lot in common. Both were private people, had similar taste in music, like the same foods, and the lastly great at being single.

Harmony surprised him the first time they had a real deep conversation. She let him know that she wasn’t too bothered with trying to get into a relationship. She said she always had problems in the past so she never did much to try to strive for a new one, but she did remain open minded in the same instance. To Erik she was cool about it and didn’t really bring it up unless he spoke on the subject. They were only friends but they did mess around two or three times, if you want to count a quickie in the bathroom of the bar that she worked at as once.

Their escapades started two weeks ago. Erik thought for sure that he was going to have to deal with her sudden clingy-ness but it didn’t turn out like that. He had to reach out to her afterwards and Harmony told him that she was okay with being friends and fucking at the same time. After that they became somewhat close friends.

Erik got a text from Durk asking to meet up with him about the Valentines Day bash he was throwing. Sending a text back that he was on the way he slipped his phone in his pocket and stood up from the couch.

“I would love to stay but I gotta meet up with someone.” He looked down at her.

Harmony stood up nodding her head. “I’ll walk you out.”

Walking to the door Erik turned around. “Listen my mans is throwing this party on Saturday. If you want to come you can if you free.” He sucked in his top lip.

Harmony smirked biting her bottom one. She stepped closer towards him with a hand on her hip. “You tryna introduce me to your boys already?”

He glanced back in her house before back at her. “I’m just inviting you out to have a good time but if you happened to meet them while doing so then shit yeah.”

Grabbing his shirt she pulled him down to her level and kissed him. Erik wrapped one of his free arms around her tiny waist and traveled down her back to her ass cheeks gripping her left one. He felt her moan into his mouth before she broke the kiss.

Wiping the gloss from his lips she pushed him away and smirked. “I’ll be there.” She stated eyeing him up and down and then closed her door on him.

It took Erik twenty minutes to make it to the auto garage. Getting out and locking his car he headed inside to see Durk, Moe, and Cane gathered around one of the vehicles parked inside. The moment Erik made eye contact with Cane he felt the anger within him ignite. Just being in his presence always made Erik put the blame on him for how things between him and Amiyah ended. When he found out that he took her on a date behind his back Erik was heated and wanted to fuck him up but had to hold off because he didn’t want Durk to know the reason behind it but when Amiyah told him that he kissed her Erik was livid. He couldn’t believe that the same kid who he thought he would like was the same one who turned out to be a snake.

Erik kept his distance from Cane since he put the two and two together and kept it that way. They never said a word to each other unless they had to work with Durk. Strictly for business and that’s all. But Erik was still on edge with Cane knowing about him and Amiyah even though they weren’t together anymore, he just didn’t like the fact that the little nigga had something on him.

Walking up to the trio Erik dapped Mor and Durk, purposefully leaving Cane out. Durk gave a look wondering what was the animosity that the two had against each other all of a sudden before shaking it off.

“What’s up E! Fuck you been at nigga?” Durk asked leaning on the hood of the truck.

“Chillin. So what’s going on with this party you throwing? What’s up with that?” Erik stood next to him between him and Moe.

Durk smirked and paused looking at them. “I just figured I could celebrate the fact that I’m fifteen million dollars richer than a bitch and now in business with Shawns old connect.”

“Damn nigga you finally made that shit happen. Now you could put me in charge of some of these corners, take some of the load of your hands.” Cane spoke with excitement as he dapped him up.

Durk laughed. “Nigga you gonna have to earn that shit. Ain’t nothing given over here.” He nudged him back.

Cane smacked his lips shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Aye congrats man.” Moe spoke up.

Durk saluted him before turning to Erik.

“Erik what you think about that? You know when we get our first few keys I’ma need some help. I want you to be my partner.”

“Nah. I’m not tryna get into this type of business man. I told you after this last job we just did three weeks ago was it for me. I’m done.” Erik spoke truthfully.

Durk shook his head. “Well you didn’t look done to me when we was getting that money.”

*Three Weeks Ago*

Moe sat behind the wheel of the all blacked out SUV. Erik rested in the passenger seat while Durk and Cane hid in the back. Parked at least 200 ft away from the small luxurious house with a fence surrounding the perimeter. Erik used his binoculars to find where his target and accomplice were. It was eight at night and Alexis sent Durk a text letting them know that the two of them would be leaving soon. She informed them about the weekend trip he was bringing her on and told them that it would be better for them to come and get the money after they were gone.

Erik heard an irritated sigh leave out of Canes mouth.

“When these muthafuckas gon leave? I’m tryna get these M’s and be out. We already looking suspicious being in this big ass car.” He sucked his teeth putting on his black gloves.

“Nigga would you shut the fuck up. Yo ass been talking for the past ten minutes.” Durk blew out smoke from his blunt.

“Look she said they was gonna be out any minute now so chill the fuck out!” Erik’s voice heightened without looking back.

Within the next fifteen minutes Alexis was walking out with Shawn. They put their luggage in the trunk before hopping inside the car. After a few minutes of observing them Erik watched as they pulled out the gated driveway and down the road. Durk waited until he got a text from Alexis letting him know that they were on the highway heading to the airport. Moe turned on the truck and pulled up right in front of the house to make it easier to getaway. Getting out Erik, Durk, and Cane put on their gloves and ski mask on their heads so that by the time they would walk inside the home they could pull them down to avoid any security cameras.

“Y’all niggas know the fucking drill. We get the money and we out this bitch. Cane grab the duffles.” Durk instructed as he put his glock on his waist.

Erik watched as Cane did was he was told. His expression was irritated by the fact that he had to take orders which Erik figured he wasn’t to doing. Cane had the attitude of trying to be a leader but he just didn’t know how to operate as one yet. Erik picked up his own duffle and walked to the driver side where Moe was seated.

“You remember the signal right? Hit the lock alarm on the truck in a pattern of three times if you feel like something’s wrong.”

“But Durk said not to interrupt unless I actually see someone coming.” Moe stated unsure.

Looking over towards Durk and Cane who were waiting Erik shook his head turning back to Moe. “Trust me man. If you feel like something is wrong give us a heads up. Better safe and out of jail than sorry. Got it?” Erik knitted his eyebrows letting him know that he was serious.

Moe nodded and rolled up his window. Erik then started to hike towards the gate. Entering the code that was given to him he put it in watching the wide gates open slowly. They headed towards the house. Checking around the perimeter of the area, they planned to avoid using the front door. So they asked Alexis to leave one of her side doors unlocked. Cane walked towards it first and wiggled the handle. When the door popped up with ease he looked back and smiled before sliding his mask over his face. Durk and Erik did the same following him inside.

The three pair of eyes wandered around in amaze as the toured throughout the luxurious mini mansion. Erik shook his head as he thought about how Alexis didn’t have a problem risking living like this just to satisfy her selfish needs. She had everything that she ever wanted. Money, cars, the latest fashion, and her hair and nails were always in tip top shape.

Not only that but this house that she could live in full time if she chose to. From the way she would tell them how Shawn was stuck on stupid over her let Erik know that the nigga loved her enough to put up with her and her how shit. There was no way that he was going around town not knowing what his own fiancée was doing. He had to know but just to stupid in love to do anything about it. Erik scoffed to himself never wanting to be that deep in love with someone.

“Aye y’all niggas come up here! I think I got something.” Cane shouted from the top of the banister on the second floor.

Jogging up the stairs, Erik behind Durk, went into the master bedroom. They looked around trying to see why he called them in there.

“Nigga what are we supposed to be looking at?” Durk asked through his mask.

“That’s what I thought when I came in here at first. Nothing looks out of the ordinary but check this out. This some rich shit here.” Going over to the walk in closet Cane pushed aside some of Shawns suits that was hanging up revealing a small red button. When he clicked it the wall slid to the side disappearing.

“You gotta be fuckin kidding me.” Erik whispered to himself.

It was a panic room. Inside the blue neon lit medium sized room was guns holstered against the wall. The ammo inside their cases sat to the side. Erik looked to the right to find that there was some of Shawn’s famous ice pieces laid out on a shelf. All of his most prized possessions was in this room and they had access to all of it. But Erik wasn’t here for that. They had a mission and that was to try and walk out with as much of that money as they can.

“Fuck y’all niggas doing standing around. Get to bagging this shit up.” Durk laughed unzipping his duffel bags.

The money was in a clear casing directly in the middle of the room. It was too much cash to try and fit it all in one duffel bag so they all got three each but it still didn’t look like it would work. Working as fast as they could they were starting to run out of room.

“Durk we don’t have enough bags for this shit.” Cane told him standing up.

Durk looked up at him while placing the stacks in his bags. “So then go run ya ass down to the truck dump it out and come back in here for the rest.” Erik could see that Cane looked confused through his mask. “Now!” Durk yelled.

After the repeated cycle of going back and forth it took them fifteen minutes to gather all of the money. Durk grabbed what he had left and went to the car while Erik and Cane got the rest. To Erik’s surprise everything was going smooth until he seen Cane reach for Shawns jewelry. He knew that it was a bad idea but decided not to say anything. That would be the consequences that Cane would have to deal with and not him.

The sound of the car alarm went off and they immediately ran out of the room and out the house. Throwing the bags in the back Erik hopped back into the car. Moe pulled off once they were safely in. Pulling off his mask he felt Durk slap his shoulder and laughing in celebration as if he just won the lottery.

“With all this money right here. Mufuckas gon be calling me the black Pablo Escobar because I’m bout to take over all of this shit.” Durk laughed smelling the cash.

Erik shook his head. He was glad that it was finally over but deep down inside him he had a terrible feeling that it was the worst decision he ever made.

*Flashback Over*

Erik folded his arms as he jogged his memory of the prior event.“I’ll have to think about it. This some serious shit you asking me Durk. Next level shit.”

Durk smacked his lips. “You always gotta think about some shit instead of doing it. But anyways, I’m doing a lil bash and I want y’all niggas to be there.”

Everyone shook their head agreeing.

“It’s gonna be some bad bitches in there right? I might have to throw on my best walking up in that bitch.” Cane joked around showing off his new Patek Philippe watch.

“I don’t know why you asking. They ain’t gon be worried about ya young broke ass with that pond shop watch you got on.” Durk clowned him rolling his eyes.

Erik smirked watching Cane dismiss him with a wave of his hand. “I’ll be there and I’ma bring a plus one. That’s cool?” Erik asked dapping him up. He seen Cane looking confused at him out the corner of his eye.

“So you done found someone else to get ya dick wet? I thought you was gonna be stuck on that bitch Alexis for a minute.” Durk teased him smiling.

“Fuck you worried about my dick for? Gay ass!” Erik laughed pushing him. “Nah she just a friend. I met her at this bar she work at down from my place. She real cool.” He smiled thinking about Harmony.

“Well I’ll be the judge of that when I meet her. I’ll see you on Saturday.”

The two dapped each other up with a side hug and departed from one another.

__________________________

“You sure your brother ain’t gonna have a problem with you putting on that outfit for tonight.” Kelley question Amiyah as she pulled down the front of her dress.

It was finally Saturday night. The night of the Valentine’s Day bash and it was fifteen minutes after nine. They were running late. Durk had told her make it before that time so that she would be let inside without any complications but of course she didn’t listen. Amiyah was stuck choosing between dresses as the time went by. After finding out that Erik was going to be there she wanted to look her best. She hadn’t seen him in a month and she was going to try and impress him some how.

“Why? Do I look okay? Does it fit my body right?” She rambled the questions as she tried to take off the fifth dress for the night.

Kelley rolled her eyes getting. She was already dressed and ready to pick her up by eight thirty but when she walked in Amiyah’s room she was still in her bra and panties.

“You look fine. I think that this is the one you should actually wear. You look beautiful.” She rested her chin on her opened shoulder giving her a soft smile.

Amiyah glanced at her appearance in her body length mirror. She tugged at the pink tie-dye fashion nova Rustic Root Ruched Mini Dress. Her shoulders were out in the open and her cleavage on full display. She knew that there was no way she would be around her brother tonight. Knowing him he would try to send her back home to change and embarrass her in front of everyone. Amiyah blew out air of frustration while throwing her head back.

“Your not just saying that because I’m taking too long are you?” She squinted her eyes at Kelley.

Kelley giggled. “Yes I am but it do look good now let’s hurry up and go before we don’t get in at all.”

Finishing up her final touches Amiyah did a last sweep over her body before grabbing her coat and heading out with Kelley to her car. The club was a good twenty minutes away but with there barely being any cars out tonight they made it in fifteen. Pulling up to the location Kelley and Amiyah both whispered a “damn” at the scene in front of them.

“Your brother wasn’t lying when he said that he was gon have the whole hood pop out.” Kelley exclaimed as she fortunately found parking.

“I guess he wasn’t.” Amiyah whispered to herself. She was starting to feel self conscious about her choice of clothing all over again. The expression was written on her face.

“Listen let me tell you this. We are about to go up in here and have the best night of our lives. We gon dance, diss any niggas that try to step to us, drink, and get fucked up. Don’t worry about what other people think. They already have an idea of you in their head so why stress yourself trying to change it. Fuck what they think.” Kelley lectured while applying her lip gloss.

Amiyah giggled nodding her head. Her confidence level going up just a bit from the pep talk. She answered her back with a “thank you” as they got out the car. Walking hand and hand, they walked to the front of the line. The music blasting on the inside was clearly audible on the out. Sounds of people complaining could be heard when they reached the bouncer.

“I hate to be the one to tell you beautiful ladies but the end of the line is down there.” The tall and buff light skinned bouncer pointed in the direction.

“Oh see we’re with her brother, the one who’s supposed to be hosting the bash, Durk.” Kelley spoke for them.

He raised an eyebrow looking back and forth between them. “Y’all with Durk?”

They nodded in unison while smiling.

“Yeah well you and everyone else. Now get to the back of my line.” His face stern and unfazed.

“Wait Durk is my brother and he told me to be here early but I was running late. Can you just let us in and I’ll bring him back out here to confirm it.” Amiyah pleaded with her hands folded.

“Girl you not the first one that claimed to be some type of family member of his to get in free. Besides I ain’t never heard about Durk having no sister.” The bouncer eyed her up and down with disbelief.

Amiyah sighed. She didn’t even bother to try and call him because she knew that he wouldn’t be able to hear it over the loud music. She gave Kelley an apologetic look as they started to walked to the end but the sound of someone calling her name stopped her.

“Amiyah?”

Turning around she saw Cane walking up to the front. He was wearing a white Christian Dior newspaper denim jean jacket. Underneath was a plain black Dior shirt and black washed jeans to match. Inhaling a sharp breath, Amiyah forgot about him being one of those included.

“Hey Cane. What are you doing here?” She replied softly. She was embarrassed being seen walking to the back of the line.

“I’m here for the party. Why you not inside?” He asked with a smile.

“The bouncer won’t let us in. He thinks we’re just tryna cut the line.” She shrugged rolling her eyes at the security guy.

Cane laughed catching her action. “Do you not know who the host is to this shit? Your brother, that nigga should be escorting you in.”

Amiyah laughed shaking her head.

“Come on. I got y’all.”

Kelley smirked at her as they folded their arms together walking back to the front. They stood next to Cane watching him speak to the guy.

“Yo Diamond, they with me and this is Durk lil sis. Remember her face and think twice next time before you try and keep her from getting in. Got it?” Cane tapped his shoulder creating space for them to walk pass.

“I got it.” The bouncer mumbled letting them by.

When they made it in it was packed to the max in the venue. There was beautiful women and fine men all through the place. Pop Smokes- Hello bombed through the speakers. Bottle girls danced while holding up Don Julio 1942’s and sparklers in the air. Amiyah was impressed with the turn out. She reached for Kelley as they both of their lips curled up with excitement.

“We bout to be lit as fuck.” Kelley yelled over the music.

Feeling a tap on her shoulder she turned to face Cane. His eyes traveling over her body made her stomach fill up with nerves. “Yeah?”

“VIP is up there. I think your brother would want you to be there.” Cane licked his lips. His eyes couldn’t stop going below her face.

Amiyah nodded. “Okay.” She grabbed Kelley’s hand as he led the way up the stairs.

Spotting her brother, Durk had different girls surrounding him. One was twerking on him while the other two recorded and took shots from the tequila bottles. Amiyah rolled her eyes at the sight. Walking over to him she patted his shoulder trying to get his attention.

“Can I help you?” He snapped his head at her.

Amiyah chuckled noticing he was tipsy but also that he didn’t even recognize her. “Really Derrick you don’t even know your own sister?” She folded her arms.

Pushing the girl who was dancing on him out the way he faced her looking over her. Durks face contorted up confused at her outfit.

“Who are you? Because I know Amiyah ass ain’t come out the house like that-“

“Don’t start Durk you promise.” She cut him off reminding him.

He took off his jacket and pushed it towards her. “Here at least put this on.”

Amiyah laughed pushing it away. “I left mine in the car for a reason. Leave me alone.” She started to walk away but felt him grab her wrist.

“Unh uh I didn’t forget. I told you you was going to stay beside me all night, so have fun.” He went back to letting the girls dance on him.

Kelley looked at him with disgust before turning to her friend. “I’m about to get us a drink from the bar. I’ll be back...maybe.” She stated the last part lowly but Amiyah heard it. She watched her leave the VIP section.

Opening up one of the 1942’s that was on the table Amiyah figured she could get her drink on right here. Tilting her head back she allowed the liquor to go down her throat. She made a sour face shaking her head from the taste. She repeated it giving herself four shots. Amiyah wasn’t much of a drinker so it didn’t take much to get her tipsy. Standing on the couch next to her brother she rocked side to side rapping the lyrics along to the song.

“Amiyah sit ya light weight ass down.” Durk yelled drunkenly towards her.

She waved him off and continued to do her thing. From the way she was standing she had a view of whoever was going to come in the section. She thought it was the liquor playing tricks with her until she saw him take more steps coming up. He was dressed in a two tone knitted Givenchy sweater with black jeans. The blinging from his watch and gold chains around his neck caught her eyes. When he smiled he revealed the gold canines in his mouth. His beard looking freshly moisturized and his waves on swim. His eyes were low which told her that he probably smoke a couple of blunts before coming inside. He looked so good.

Amiyah watched as he greeted everyone in the section with salutes and daps before walking up to her brother who was seated next to her.

“Nigga why the fuck you got to come up here and show me out for my shit?” Durk yelled playfully standing up and boxing him.

Amiyah watched as they interacted with each other. At least her question from earlier was answered. They look like they were still best friends.

“Come on man, this light work.” His voice coming out as smooth as butter.

“Yeah whatever nigga.” Durk turned towards her making her status known. “Miyah you not gon say what’s up to Erik?”

When she heard his name she got butterflies in her stomach. It was like it was her first time meeting him all over again. After a month of not seeing him nothing had changed. Her feelings for him never fading but only enhancing the minute she saw him.

“Hey Erik.” She smiled softly putting the bottle that was in her hand down and stepped off the seat.

Erik nodded his head towards her. “What’s good!” He stated nonchalantly. Amiyah couldn’t deny that she was hurt from the tone in his voice. He didn’t even smile at her, only just a nod. But yet they kept eye contact with each other.

“So where she at? I’m trying to meet this “friend”.” Durk asked doing the quotation marks with his fingers.

Amiyah stood to the side confused hearing her brother over the loud music. She didn’t realize that there was a small petite woman standing somewhat behind Erik until her brother mentioned the word ‘she’. She watched as Erik held her hand pulling her in front of him. His arms wrapped around her waist pulling her into him as he rocked them side to side lightly.

“This is my friend Harmony. Harmony this is my best friend and brother Durk.” Erik smiled introducing them. Amiyah felt a sting when he didn’t even bother to introduce her.

She laughed holding her hand out to shake his. “Hi it’s nice to finally meet you. I heard a lot about you Durk.”

Amiyah observed Harmony. She was beautiful. Nice brown skin complexion, pretty hair that looked natural like it was hers, her outfit hugged her coke bottle shape. She had the perfect breast to hips and ass ratio. Her waist barely existing. Amiyah took note of everything. Everything that she dreamed to be but wasn’t. Sadness clouded over her face as she watched them embrace each other.

“Well I hope he told you only good things. But fuck all that you are beautiful ma. I don’t know how you ended up with this ugly ass nigga.” Durk joked around.

Erik gave him a straight face before laughing. “Fuck outta here. So what’s up where the drinks at? You know I need my shit.”

Durk nodded his head going to the table and grabbed his personal bottle of Hennessy and handing it to him. “Drink up!”

Amiyah watched him crack open his bottle and drunk it down like it was water. The little action reminding her of the time when she was at his condo and how he sipped on the bitter drink before showing her the crazy things he could do with his tongue. Amiyah bit her inner cheek grabbing her own bottle and throwing it back two more times.

“Damn girl you can drink.” She heard a light voice laugh. Turning her head while wiping her mouth she saw that it was Harmony.

Amiyah smiled shyly. “I’m just tryna turn up while I can.” Her words a little slurred.

“I’m Harmony. I came with Erik.” Harmony held her hand out again.

Amiyah glanced at it quickly before shaking it. “Amiyah.”

“That’s a pretty name. Are you Durks girl?” She asked genuinely.

Amiyah scrunched her face up doing a fake puke. “Uh no that’s my brother. I came here with him and my friend who’s somewhere around here.”

Harmony laughed holding her fist up to her mouth. She shook her head. “I’m sorry I just saw you standing up here next to him that’s all. Erik didn’t tell me he had a sister.”

“It’s okay.” Amiyah turned her direction towards Erik who was sipping on his bottle while listening to whatever Durk was telling him in his ear. Once again she was hurt when Harmony told her that she didn’t know about her.

For the rest of the night she remained in same spot. Babysitting the area. Kelley came back a few times trying to get her to sneak away but she didn’t want to. Her mood was ruined every time she would look in their direction to find Harmony grinding on Erik and him standing there catching what she was throwing. So she drunk her bottle and danced next to her brother who would wrap his arm over her shoulder as they rapped to whatever song was playing.

In the mist of the party Amiyah saw Erik whisper something to Harmony before getting up to leave the section. She figured she could use this chance to find him and talk to him. To see how he was doing. To get him to look at her the way he used to. Anything to be near him.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” Amiyah shouted to her brother who only nodded his head drinking out of her bottle.

Walking out the section she bumped and squeeze passed the bodies. She didn’t have a clue where he went. She thought she could catch up with him but with a crowd like the one that was in there tonight it was hopeless. Amiyah gave up trying to search for his frame over the party goers. She strolled to the back hall that held the bathrooms. Going inside the music level dimmed down making it easy to hear if someone was to have a conversation back here.

Dragging her fingers across the wall, her head stayed down not paying attention to what was in front of her causing her to bump into someone.

“Damn my bad.” His deep voice spoke lowly.

Looking up, it was Erik. His eyes were low and going over her body as he stroked his beard.

“It’s o-okay.” Her words becoming a stutter.

Erik nodded his head. She looked tipsy to him or maybe even drunk. He never seen her in this state so it was hard for him to decipher. But Erik knew that he couldn’t leave her alone like this. He wanted to make sure that she was okay.

“You good? You look a lil fucked up.” He spoke bluntly.

“I’m fine. I didn’t have that much.” Amiyah replied. She was tipsy but still was aware of what she was doing.

“I could wait until your finished in the bathroom. We could walk back together.” Erik shoved his hands in his pockets.

Amiyah leaned on the wall with her hands behind her back. “I don’t think your girlfriend would like the sight of us coming back at the same time.”

He smirked as his jaw clenched. “You worried about her when all I’m trying to do is make sure you make it back safe. I don’t want none of these weird ass niggas trying shit. But you thinking about Harmony.” He shook his head as he leaned against the other wall directly in front of her.

“I’m just saying she might get the wrong idea-“

“She’s not my girl.” Erik spoke up cutting her sentence.

Amiyah rolled her eyes and scoffed. “You told me that the last time.” She mumbled knowing he could hear.

Erik’s faces scrunched up. “What’s it to you? Why does it matter if she’s my girl or not?” His arms now folded.

“Because I just find it funny how quick you moved on that fast.” Amiyah snapped looking him up and down.

Erik chuckled. “But wasn’t it you that broke up with me? So I don’t get how you could be hurt by the fact that I’m moving on and you stuck.”

“No Erik I’m hurt at the fact that you act like nothing happened between us.” She was gaining her liquid courage when she stepped in his face. “And how you can just bring her here to meet my brother but not have the decency to even look my way.”

Erik sucked in his bottom lip watching her express herself. “Still don’t know what that got to do with you.” He shrugged.

He was just as hurt as she was. His feelings for her were still raw and there but he wanted to make her feel the same way he felt when she ended it with him. When Erik introduce Harmony to Durk and not Amiyah he did it on purpose. The way he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her body close to his was on purpose. The way he let her dance on him in front of her was on purpose. He could feel her stares on them. Erik was hurt and he wanted her to know what he was feeling.

Amiyah scoffed shaking her head. “What is it about her that’s so special? What? The fact that you can fuck her without having to worry about her crazy ass brother finding out about it. That’s why you’re fucking her?”

Erik chuckled. “How would you know if I’m fucking her or not?”

“For you to be some drug dealer you sure are a fucking coward Erik!” Amiyah pushed his chest but he caught her by the wrist.

“I told you I’m not a fucking drug dealer and for someone to not ride dick...you sure are riding mine. Why you worried about who I’m fucking if you ain’t the fucking me?” Erik’s words were hard.

Amiyah stared at him. “I hate you.” She mumbled looking at his lips trying to free herself.

Erik backed her into the wall. He put her hands above her head and interlocking their fingers as he looked down at her and towered over her body. “Fuck you say to me?”

“I said I hate you-“

Her words were cut off with his lips connecting to hers. His hold left her hands and his arms wrapped around her waist. Traveling down to her ass he cupped both cheeks firmly. Erik felt his dick jump when she moaned into his mouth . Her tongue gliding with his as he felt the warmth of it overtaking his body. It’s been over a month since he felt her lips. Erik’s heart was beating fast knowing that it was risky to be making out with Durks sister and how anyone could walk in and see them. But he couldn’t stop and didn’t want to.

Amiyah moaned as she held his face bringing him impossibly closer than what he already was. She could taste the Hennessy off of his tongue mixed with her tequila. She was putting everything that she was feeling into this kiss. She wanted him to know that she missed him and wanted to start over. She didn’t mean it when she said that she hated him. With the alcohol and emotions getting in the way she wanted to say anything to keep him by her.

Erik pulled away with a tug of her lower lip and placed a soft peck on it. He cursed at himself for falling weak for her once again. No matter how much space they had away from each other she was always able to pull him in.

“What is it about her that I’m not?” Amiyah interrupted his thoughts. She tried to stop herself from asking the question but she wanted to know.

Erik sighed putting his forehead against hers. “You gotta learn how to stop questioning yourself when it comes to these other females. Your beautiful ma. Stop that shit.” He gave her one last kiss on the top of her head as he left her standing there alone going back to the party.

“Okay.” Amiyah whispered to herself.

__________________________________________

Please excuse any mistakes!

Tag-List

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[antihumanism]

When I type everything out as a single run-on sentence I want you to imagine me cornering you off-guard in a crowded room, my empty brown cow eyes staring straight at you and reflecting you--nopony home here, she checked out and hopped away forever ago on the toxic chemical trains and clacking cattle cars years ago--and just, for no reason, I’m here and you’re there pocketed in the corner of a crowded room, and I’m channeling my alternate history past-self who was a preacher that got kicked out of the church for delivering sermons about the impossibility of sin and just ran off to Point Sur with my harem of distractions since I could never stop blessing my congregation saying “Go forth and know that you cannot sin, in the beautiful eyes of God and in my beautiful eyes there can be no wrong or evil” which backfired on me when they started setting fires and it all went to Hell, but I’ve won out over them because the world honored my wishes when I sighed “I should like to start again,” and so I’m here with you and you’re hear with me and I’m saying some insane shit like: “Looking back on Emily’s early works it is easy to see where her later reactionary turn comes from, because, from the start, Alfred Alfer was a story about the fear of castration, I mean, the first video was literally about Alfred getting neutered and escaping into a violent fantasy where he is loved and praised for his violence and the ‘punchline’ establishes the general theme of ‘reality by despair,’ which is to say that Alfred’s clearly dissociative episode is ‘verified’ by his destruction and it is this self-destruction that establishes ‘reality,’ like ‘pinch me i might be dreaming,’ but the pinch is violent and unfair self-destruction as hope is still ripped away, but hope remains, because it is a hope to die rather than be changed by the world, and this theme remains throughout her most famous work (the Alfred’s Playhouse trilogy which cements in canon the jokes of her previous Rise of Alfred cartoon) where Alfred is possessed by the spirits of Stalin and Hitler--a false equivalency made by the authoritarians that have passed for liberals for years--in Rise of Alfred, one would be remiss not to mention the phallic imagery in both the title and the video itself, Alfred is cut loose upon the world by the absence of a Near God or little other by the orders of a Distant God or big Other (in this video played by a droning and irrelevant corporate figure that can offer nothing more than a wall without lead paint that one can lick), and this is the essence of reactionary thought, the idea of a big Other who is totally incompetent yet all powerful and somehow worth respecting and suffering for (King Henry II saying ‘will no one rid me of this troublesome priest’ or the departed Daiymo of the 47 Ronin), the reactionary sees the big Other as a master who can only set the dogs off the chain, the police chief who needs to get out of the way so McBain or Dirty Harry or Paul Kersey (especially in Death Wish III) can do what needs to be done and purge away all the filth and make the world right again (no different than Rambo--even the first movie, which for all of it’s goods part still is  reactionary propaganda bullshit pushing the fascist lies about a ‘fifth column’ that was rude to poor little meow meow war criminals--or modern day fantasies about nuking all of MENA until it glows green (fantasies delivered to raucous applause at Republican presidential conventions); the reactionary is perpetually trapped in this fantasy of destroying the world and escaping into the void of space, freed of the ground where the riff-raff are so they don’t have to negotiate life with their neighbors, and this is true, yes, even of people who spout bullshit about Fully Automated Luxury Communism who only want the right to consume as much as possible free of guilt--a condition they think is inflicting upon them by the big Other--as the Champagne of Shame Socialists of the 60s), and the righting of the world for the reactionary is just that, that the world must be Righted and the reactionary must be loved for all of their violence and because of their violence, for the reactionary finds themselves ever needing new excuses as they open new fronts in their fake, phony Culture War, and that is all they need (excuses), which is why Emily is so obsessed with justifying her edgy shit based on some Trauma (which is handy excuse to do Anything, even Things that Cannot Be Excused like war or self-harm or wanting to be seen), and so here you should already be able to hear so much madness, so many plaintive cries, all aligning around the same point (the trannies in the ‘wrong’ bathroom, the refugees in the ‘wrong’ country, the people in the ‘wrong’ neighborhood, the Jewish Question, etc), and, anyway, so in Rise of Alfred, Emily’s OC directly addresses the audience and tells them that they must love him/her--the castrated bitch desperate to be let off the leash--and in Alfred’s Playhouse she/he simultaneously affirms and denies the nature of a trauma that justifies everything (one is constantly reminded of The Act of Killing where one of the mass murderers imagines how, depending on the editing of the final film, he could be either a woobie or a war criminal) as the Trauma is simultaneously a joke--’sodomized with a popsicle!’--and the alleged real event that motivates her self-mutilation as we’re expected to believe Emily is processing something, but what is she is processing, hmmmm, isn’t that the true spice,” I rail and rave against your poor ear drums as my empty, dead cow’s eyes capture your entire body and reflect it back at you and the ice cubes in my drink pop and shatter and dissolve and as my fist clenches tighter and tighter around the glass containing them and I continue: she’s processing a fear of castration, which is shown clearly in Alfred’s Playhouse where Alfred’s “sodomy” is demonstrated by the sight of his crotch covered in blood (a scene that will be repeated in The Alfred Alfer Movie) but “what is castration,” one might ask, and one can respond “it is the removal of power by the Father,” and this is how we wrap back around to our root in the nature of Emily the Reactionary who believes herself to be deprived of the power she holds by The Bolshevik Jew that has inserted itself between her and the Father and this is the cause of the big Other’s ineffectiveness, and this is also the core of the reactionary as a whole, the reactionary doesn’t want a daddy to control them, but a Master to set them off the chain because they hate the Father who has castrated them, this is the nature of the mumbling corporate manager in Rise of Alfred, but it is also the nature of Alfred herself--and now you may ask if Emily is trans and the answer is I literally couldn’t fucking care less about any question left forever unanswered on God’s Green Earth and you shouldn’t care either--but Alfred the Castrated is also the Father/Mother of Alfred the Dictator, the murderous inner-self that is immune to consequences of the onrushing future (The Alfred Alfer Movie) but not immune to the justifications of the imagined past (Alfred’s Playhouse trilogy), and therefore free to inflict whatever violence that Emily the Reactionary desires, and it is in pursuit of this freedom that the reactionaries set off in the name of New Sincerity (two things to be noted here: (1) the Death of Irony was proclaimed at the birth of the 21st century police state and the new Forever War with all of its genocidal objectives, that is to say, 9/11, and (2) the broken necked coward who complained of American Psycho that it’s author provided no easy outs for easy survival was the one who offed himself while Bateman’s father still lives) and the Talking Cure (i miss who we used to be), and at this you should see me slugging back the whole lukewarm glass in between two syllables and continuing on without pause (as if this dog still has legs on which to receive them in any case), “Emily, like Alex Jones, is so desperate for an excuse because neither of them can accept that they have to be the one that pulls the trigger, like all liars they don’t understand that they have to define reality by action, the answer to what one might do is found in the difference between the types of irony, one type is constantly desperate for excuses (such as the broken necked coward found one day) for violence, and the other irony, the true spice, is the irony that releases from excuses into violence and energy, one must seek not to know or endure but to inflict, knowing that this inflicting was always inevitable, no searching for justifications, instead the answer is to realize that there was never a chain there connecting you to the Master or the present to the past, and the Father/Mother never had the power of castration (the past, after all, is a foreign country bombed and blasted to ruins already and better forgotten), and you can just be fucked up and terrible and do whatever amuses you right now without needing an excuse, and to the extent that anyone should, one should, because that is what fascism needs, fascism needs the need for an excuse and that is the irony of fascism--where the falling angel (the superego) meets the rising ape (the id) in an ego of ultimate violence which seeks only release from both of its creations in an instinctually and totally misunderstood caricature of dialectics--which opposes its opposite irony (the irony without fascism which is the id’s violence against purpose and reason rising free of anything else to obstruct it), and if you let go of that, if you just, ya know, if you just, you just have to cut loose and go and no one can stop you until it is too late, because there’s no Jew sitting over your shoulder to justify everything in terms of opposition or support, not even The Nazarene is real, but do you understand that you’ve always been free to just go? You’re free to go. You’ve been free to go all this time. You never needed permission for this or anything else. You’ve been free to go all this time. You’re free to go. A whole day off. Just mind the mo(u)rning and get on with it.”

[lady-of-the-lotus]

“I’m trying,” says Xue Yang bitterly. “I’m trying, and it’s still not good enough for you.”

Xiao Xingchen sinks his fingers into the dirt. Crawling over his cheek is a beetle, moving over his lips, trailing along the curve of his nose.

Xue Yang watches the beetle’s process, the muscles in his jaw growing tighter and tighter, fixating on the insect as it nestles in the dip of Xingchen’s left eye.

“I’m trying,” he repeats, and Xingchen thinks of the tongues, of one particularly small tongue at the end of the row, and hears himself saying, “You’re not trying very hard.”

Xuexiao - E - AO3! - Read on Tumblr - Ch. 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3

Chapter 4 - Rot

Xingchen wakes to Xue Yang bending over him.

He shoves him away, scrambling backward. “Get off me!”

Xue Yang settles back against a tree. “Don’t do that again. What if I hadn’t caught you?”

Xiao Xingchen manages to roll over onto his side, getting a better look at Xue Yang. Xue Yang is stripped down to his inner robe, face streaked with blood, crimson liquid seeping through the green silk at his side.

He grins weakly down at Xiao Xingchen, teeth red. “One of those fuckers got me,” he says ruefully. “Guess I shouldn’t have shown off so low on blood.”

“You didn’t have to kill them all. And you killed some townspeople too, I saw you…”

Xue Yang’s head droops forward, as if he’s too weak to keep it upright. He doesn’t seem to have heard Xingchen at all. “Lend me a hand, will you?”

“I can’t move…”

Xue Yang groans. “Figures.” He slides over, sprawling over in the grass beside Xiao Xingchen, and lies still.

Xingchen rolls over as much as he can and laps at the blood running from the gash in Xue Yang's side. He drinks until he’s strong enough to sit up. Xue Yang is still unconscious, lying in the exact position he fell in.

With clumsy hands Xingchen cuts bandages from an extra robe in the qiankun pouch. He washes his wounds as best he can with the small amount of water left in the canteen and binds them. Finds a medicinal pellet in Xue Yang’s sleeve, makes him swallow it, places a rolled-up robe under his head.

He sits up with Xue Yang all night. He’s surprised when Xue Yang opens his eyes at dawn and begins to struggle to his feet.

“Well, that was fun,” he says. He’s on his hands and knees, as if too weak to get all the way up. “But let’s not do that again for a while, shall we?”

“How do you feel?”

“I’m fine. I’m always fine. I'll go find some water."

“Don’t strain yourself.”

Xue Yang eyes Xiao Xingchen narrowly. “Is that supposed to be sarcasm?”

“Am I ever sarcastic?” Xiao Xingchen lies down. It’s obvious they won’t be traveling today.

“Let me put down a blanket for you.”

Xiao Xingchen shakes his head, inhaling the dirt beneath his cheek. There’s a blowfly crawling across his temple, just visible out of the corner of his eye. “I prefer this.”

“But—”

Xiao Xingchen closes his eyes.

“I won’t be able to give you blood for a few days. Or anything else.”

Xiao Xingchen nods slightly.

Xue Yang shoos the fly off Xingchen’s face. “I’ll wake you up as soon as I can.”

Xiao Xingchen could get up and bring Xue Yang the water, if he wanted to, but it’s been too many days without yang and he has no will to stir. Besides, he likes lying on the ground and doesn't want to get up. A dead tree frog lies a foot from his face, and he spends the morning watching a trail of ants swarm the bloated carcass, mesmerized by the endless black dots as they march back and forth through the grass.

He’s asleep when Xue Yang returns, and wakes late the next day. Xue Yang is sleeping beside him, face white, chest barely rising and falling.

It’s because of me, Xiao Xingchen thinks groggily. Because of me he’s too weak to heal, to seal his meridians and stop his bleeding…

What if Xue Yang were to die...?

Oddly fitting, rotting side-by-side for eternity…

But he reaches out, lays a cold hand on Xue Yang’s throat. Either he hadn't taken enough blood the day before to return him to full strength, or the blood isn't working as well as it used to, becuase his fingers are too numb to sense a pulse.

Xue Yang stirs at his touch. “You need something, daozhang?” he murmurs.

Xiao Xingchen closes his eyes again.

It’s morning when he next opens them. He’s lying on his stomach, one arm extended, something sharp digging into his back.

Pain in his ear, something tearing at his hand.

A snapping sound.

Rustling of bushes, feet thudding on the forest floor, the whistle of a blade cleaving the air.

“Get off him! I’ll fucking kill you—”

A bird-like squawk, a whirl of black feathers. The smell of blood. Something cradling his head, touching his ear, his hand. The sound of muffled cursing.

Xiao Xingchen drifts off.

It’s night when he next wakes. Xue Yang is on top of him, planting a soft kiss on his forehead as he slides out from between Xue Yang’s legs. They’re surrounded by a wall of reeds and grasses, the air heavy and sweet, a stork winging its way past the moon.

“Welcome back,” he says. “Here.” He lifts Xiao Xingchen into his lap, holding his arm to this mouth. Xiao Xingchen dutifully sucks blood from his veins, sensation flowing back into his limp body.

There’s relief on Xue Yang’s face as he lays him back down on a blanket covering the damp ground.

Xiao Xingchen sits up. His limbs feel oddly… loose at the joints. He looks around, keeping his left eye closed. A half-dozen yellow talismans are pinned to his robes.

“Every little bit helps,” says Xue Yang, reaching for them. “Or doesn’t help, in your case. Here, I’ll—”

Xiao Xingchen reaches up to brush him away, and freezes.

The little finger on his right hand is missing.

Nothing but a bandage-wrapped stump.

Raising his gloved hand, Xue Yang grins at him. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “We match now.”

Xiao Xingchen stares at his missing finger. “How...how long was I asleep?”

“Two days.”

Xingchen glances up at the moon, shining brightly down on their little clearing in the tall grasses. “There’s a full moon. It was waxing last I saw it. And—is this—we were in a forest—”

“Three days.”

“Three weeks.”

Xue Yang folds his arms defensively. “I woke you up as soon as I could. I almost thought you wouldn’t wake at all, I’ve been trying for days—”

“Were are we?” Xingchen's sounds strange, and he reaches up to touch his left ear as he speaks. There’s nothing there, just a soft, slippery ridge of missing flesh.

“Fine, so we flew a mile or two or hundred or whatever.”

Xingchen looks around. Laid out on a second blanket are rows of—

“Are those tongues?” he asks. His voice is strangely mild, emotions still deadened. Slowly he begins removing the talismans from his clothes.

Smiling to himself, Xue Yang settles back, tossing his knife in the air. “Would you like to see them?”

“Why…why are they all laid out like that?” And dozens of small animals, too. Water rats, birds, frogs.

Xue Yang nudges one of the talismans with his bare foot. There’s one pinned to the smallest of the tongues, and dozens more lining the neat rows of tongues and swamp creatures. “Do you want to hear?” he asks, and dives into an explanation without waiting for a response. He’s always animated, but he comes to life as he explains the talismans he’s created, how he devised them, and his current experiments.

“…keep them fresh, and they are fresh, except…”

Xiao Xingchen only half-hears him. He’s too busy watching him, the moonlight lighting up his far-too-pretty-for-what-he-is face, and thinking, not for the first time, about Xue Yang’s immense wasted potential.

What could Xue Yang have accomplished had he only been taught properly? Been guided down the proper path? Given a solid cultivation foundation and the opportunity to channel his genius and creativity for good?

What could he still accomplish?

Xue Yang is explaining how he fixed Xiao Xingchen’s shattered soul and channeled his qi into Xingchen’s corpse. He’s using his hands to speak, drawing shining red symbols in his own made-up alphabet as he explains what, even from the limited amount Xiao Xingchen absorbs, sounds brilliantly innovative.

Perhaps it was a good thing he had never had a formal education. From what Xingchen has seen since leaving the mountain, education, after a certain point, is just another way to enforce a set way of thinking, inhibiting free thought and encasing minds in narrow little boxes. A traditional cultivator couldn’t have accomplished half of what Xue Yang had achieved.

Xue Yang has stopped talking. He seems to be waiting for a response.

“That’s very impressive,” says Xiao Xingchen, vastly understating things.

“For a demonic cultivator.”

“For anyone.”

Xue Yang’s grin nearly wraps around his head, then winks out like a snuffed candle. “Doesn’t matter. I failed.”

“They look fresh to me.” Xiao Xingchen takes a closer look. “There are extra tongues.”

“I killed more than just the bandits, remember? You were all bent out of shape about it.”

“Do you want to pick a fight?”

“If you’re disgusted by the tongues, just say so.” There’s no trace of animation left on Xue Yang’s face. If anything, there’s an odd dead look in his eye as he sits cross-legged across from Xiao Xingchen and stares unblinkingly at him. “Don’t pretend to be interested.”

“I am interested.”

He doesn’t understand why Xue Yang throws this knife suddenly, spearing one of the tongues, or understand the sudden nasty change in Xue Yang’s tone. “Know who that one belonged to? That old man with the fucking eggplants!”

Xiao Xingchen shakes his head. “You needed it for your experiments.”

“How do you know he wasn’t alive when I took it?”

“I…I suppose I don’t.”

“Then stop faking it!” Xue Yang snaps. Xingchen wonders how long this has been building inside him and what spurred it to finally erupt. “Stop faking it all just because you need me right now! I knew you were a hypocrite, but I thought you were at least an honest hypocrite—”

“I’m not—”

“Liar! Were all those things you said in the inn just lies too?”

Xiao Xingchen can’t remember exactly what he said. Something about not wanting him to be hurt—

Xue Yang produces another knife from his sleeve. He seems more comfortable with a blade in his hand. “I was an idiot for believing you, I knew it at the time!”

Xiao Xingchen looks at the extra tongues. Xue Yang follows his eyes.

“I saved them all from those bandits, so if a few people got in my way, what of it! They would have been dead without me, I saved them, their lives belonged to me—”

Xiao Xingchen looks down at his hand, runs a hand over the bandage covering his finger stump. “I saved your life; does your life belong to me?”

“Had you killed me back then, think of all the lives you could have saved! For all we know that old man with those stupid eggplants would have gone crazy and poisoned half the town; they should be thanking me for killing him!”

Shaking his head, Xiao Xingchen pushes aside the blanket so he’s lying on the swampy ground and breathes in deeply. All he wants to do is sleep. Shut out Xue Yang’s voice. Sink back into oblivion, nestled in the tall sweet-scented grasses…

“I’m trying,” says Xue Yang bitterly. “I’m trying, and it’s still not good enough for you.”

Xiao Xingchen sinks his fingers into the dirt. Crawling over his cheek is a beetle, moving over his lips, trailing along the curve of his nose.

Xue Yang watches the beetle’s process, the muscles in his jaw growing tighter and tighter, fixating on the insect as it nestles in the dip of Xingchen’s left eye.

“I’m trying,” he repeats, and Xingchen thinks of the tongues, of one particularly small tongue at the end of the row, and hears himself saying, “You’re not trying very hard.”

Xue Yang hunches forward, a curtain of hair covering his face, digging his nails deep into his scalp and pulling his hair hard enough to hurt. He looks up through the curtain with red-rimmed eyes that almost glow in the eerie orange moonlight.

“Fuck if I care,” he says. “I’m going to go get some water.”

“Xue Yang—”

“Oh, just shut up! I should have left you unconscious!”

Xiao Xingchen turns over on his back. Better this way. More of his body touching the earth. “Are you coming back? Or are you going to leave me here to rot?”

“You’ll rot whether I leave you here or not—”

And suddenly Jiangzai is out, and Xue Yang is hacking at the tall grasses around them. He lays waste to the walls of reeds before falling to his knees, supporting himself with Jiangzai, teeth bared, breathing heavily.

Xiao Xingchen watches him without moving or flinching.

“Well?” he says as Xue Yang stabs the earth with his knife, raking a deep gash in the moss-covered soil. “Are you coming back?”

“Right, you need me!” Xue Yang stabs the ground, slashing it again and again with his blade as if trying to make it bleed. “How do you like it, daozhang, being bound to someone you hate?”

“I don’t hate you,” Xiao Xingchen says quietly. “Do you hate me?”

“I wish you had stayed dead, I wish I had never brought you back—”

All Xingchen can feel is pity. Xue Yang sees it in his eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that!” he snaps. “You say you don’t hate me? Fucking liar!”

“I don’t hate you,” Xiao Xingchen repeats. “I don’t know why, but I don’t.”

“How about this, then? I killed your precious A-Qing!”

“I know,” Xiao Xingchen says quietly.

Xue Yang drops his knife. “You know?”

“I saw her name on the talisman. I guess you were telling the truth about needing a name, and actually learned how to write it..."

“And you don’t…you don’t care?”

Xiao Xingchen closes his eyes. “Of course I care.”

Xue Yang grabs his wrist, shaking him, forcing him to look him in the face. “And,” he grins, “whose eyes do you think are in your head?”

A chill creeps down Xingchen’s spine as he reaches up to touch his eye.

Xue Yang is laughing now, a manic laugh he doesn’t seem to be able to control. “Just giving you back what was yours! I killed him before you woke up. Tossed him in the same ditch I tossed A-Qing. I’d say he wasn’t yet cold when you opened your eyes, but he’d been cold ever since you stabbed him through the heart!”

And suddenly Xingchen needs to feel. Needs to be choked by the shock, the hate, the grief.

A-Qing and Song Lan deserve it.

He wrenches his wrist away from Xue Yang. He’s weak, but Xue Yang’s fingers slide easily off his slippery, waxy skin. He shoves Xue Yang on his back and straddles him, the mere sight of Xue Yang lying beneath him in just a thin inner robe activating his muscle memory, his cock springing to life.

“Ah, there’s the daozhang I remember! Want to go over to the marsh? You can half-drown me again—”

“Shut up shut up shut up—” Roughly, he thrusts into Xue Yang as Xue Yang continues to giggle, not bothering to take it slow. Tears slip down his face as he thrusts into him, splashes of blood on Xue Yang's chest. "Just shut up—”

“Ah, see, this is what I’ve been missing all these weeks—”

“Stop talking, for once in your life, just stop talking—”

“I’ll do you one better: I’ll do my hair up all stupid, and you can pretend I’m Song Lan.” Xue Yang laughs harder, as if this is funny, body shaking beneath Xiao Xingchen's. “You ever fuck him like you’re fucking me?”

“Be quiet!” Xiao Xingchen thrusts harder, trying to shut him up, but Xue Yang only arches his back flirtatiously, one leg raised onto Xiao Xingchen’s shoulder, a demented smile plastered over his face.

“Was that a yes, daozhang?”

He closes his hand around Xue Yang’s throat. “Stop talking about him, and stop calling me that!”

“You fuck him in your fancy free inns? Pin him down and pour filth in his lily-white ear?”

“Stop talking—”

Xue Yang pries his fingers from his throat. “Were you the one to corrupt him, or did he corrupt you first? You seduced him, didn’t you? Just look at you, you’re like a dog in heat, there’s no way you didn’t make up some perverted priest ritual just to get your di—”

Xiao Xingchen slaps him across the face.

Xue Yang reaches one hand up to splay over Xiao Xingchen’s chest. “Did Song Lan like that? Did you choke him too? Bite his lip so hard you could suck his life out through it?”

“I never so much as touched him!”

“Too bad. He wasn’t a bad fuck for a corpse; was probably a lot more fun when he was alive—though knowing him, he was just as boring when he had a tongue—”

Xiao Xingchen freezes, then turns Xue Yang onto his stomach and fucks him from behind. He doesn’t want to see his grinning face, doesn’t want to pretend this is anything other than a necessary interaction, two animals rutting in a swamp out of necessity—

Xue Yang is still laughing.

Xingchen pulls Xue Yang’s robe down over his shoulders down to his waist. Digs his nails into Xue Yang’s back, leaves long scratches in his scarred skin. Several blackened fingernails come off in Xue Yang’s flesh, and his fingers feel loose where Xue Yang pried them off his throat. He spreads his purple-red hands over Xue Yang’s wiry muscles, pressing him down into the damp, fetid soil.

“Disgusting—”

Xue Yang stops laughing and Xingchen comes abruptly, the sigil on his chest glowing brighter as he fills Xue Yang. He pulls out with a shamefully wet sound, bloody cum oozing out of Xue Yang and dripping to the grass.

Xue Yang rolls over onto his back and Xiao Xingchen, suddenly weak with exertion and the flood of new emotion, falls forward on his hands, framing Xue Yang.

As his palms hit the earth, his head snaps forward slightly, and suddenly one eye goes dark.

Xue Yang scrambles out from under him. A look of shock has frozen his face. He cups his hands, staring.

An eyeball lies nestled in his palms.

Xingchen reaches up to touch his left eye.

It’s empty.

Xue Yang’s mouth opens and closes a few times. “I—I should have sewn it in better—”

Xiao Xingchen pulls his robe closed and holds out his hand.

Xue Yang drops the eyeball into his cupped palm.

“What’s happening to me?” Xingchen asks quietly.

His emotions are in full bloom, but somehow instead of anger, or horror, or shock, all he feels is resignation over what's happening to him and regret over what he'd just done. Knowingly done, unlike that time in the stream...

Silence, just the rustle of the tall grasses in the warm evening breeze, a distant splashing in the nearby marsh, a trill of a night bird.

“I think you already know,” says Xue Yang finally. Slowly he reaches into his sleeve, pulls out a long white bandage, and ties it at an angle over Xingchen’s eye socket.

“Now you look almost like your old self again,” he says.

Xiao Xingchen holds him at arm’s length, swallowing hard. “Xue Yang, how—how long have you known?”

“Rather roguish, your new look. I like it.”

“Xue Yang…”

“I can try sewing the eye back in, if you’d like, but I don’t think it would take…”

“Is that what you were doing these past few weeks? Trying to stop me from rotting?”

Xue Yang winces at the word “rot.” He squirms away from Xiao Xingchen, sitting facing the swamp. Xiao Xingchen wonders if Xue Yang chose this spot to hide the smell of his decaying flesh.

“Doesn’t matter,” he says. Xiao Xingchen can hardly hear him. “Didn’t work, clearly…”

He lies down, his back to Xingchen.

Xingchen lays beside him, resting a hand on his arm, his eyeball still enclosed in his other hand. The skin over his knuckles is very thin, with small gas bubbles rising under the delicate bones along the backs of his hands and soft purple lines running up towards his wrist. Blackened lesions mottle his skin, eating down to the bone in some places, and his remaining nails are brownish gray.

He starts to remove his hand, but Xue Yang reaches up, closing his gloved hand around it.

“I didn’t mean to kill A-Qing,” he says, so low that Xingchen has to strain to hear him. “She just bled out so quickly after I cut her tongue out—she was trying to bring cultivators—I tried using a talisman, but it…it clotted the wrong blood…”

“There’s no excuse you could possibly give to make me forgive you for what you did.”

“I turned her into a sentient fierce corpse.” Xue Yang turns, mangled hand still on Xiao Xingchen’s rotting one, and looks at him. “She’s out there somewhere. That was the truth. Practically alive…”

Xiao Xingchen closes his remaining eye. He hates how that does make a slight difference. “Did you truly abuse Zichen?”

“I cut his eyes and tongue out, if that's what you mean.”

“You know it’s not.”

Xue Yang wrinkles his nose, gazing up at the scraps of cloud drifting past the full moon. “I never laid a finger on him. He’s not my type.”

“And was that the only reason?”

“What are you getting at?”

Xiao Xingchen is suddenly tired. So very, very tired. Dealing with Xue Yang is like dealing with a pet fox who keeps killing his chickens. “You understood what that man in Tanzhou did to his wife was wrong,” he says, "at least on some instinctive level. Unless you were simply guessing at how I’d feel on the subject and using it to excuse yourself.”

“Right, wrong, it’s all the sa—”

“Don’t start that again. You knew it was wrong despite the fact that many people wouldn’t think so. You—”

“I’ve killed children.”

“I know.”

“I’ve made you kill children.”

“I know.”

“And you don’t care?”

“Of course I care.”

“Then say something better than ‘I know’!”

“There is nothing I can possibly say to that that would express how I feel.”

“Why is killing children worse than killing any other person?” Xue Yang bursts out. “They would have died in another fifty years, at most. So I sped it along a little!”

“Is that truly how you feel?”

“Why isn’t it how you feel? If you think about it, early death is a mercy! And once they’re dead, it makes no difference to them.”

“Their family—”

“I killed the rest of the family, too. The Changs, all dead. Villagers, all dead. Nobody to mourn them. And it’s not like I would have cared either way, but it wasn’t like I went around killing random children for fun.”

“I never said you did.”

“Entire families, gone, just like that!” Xue Yang snaps his fingers. “As if they never existed, so what difference does any of it make? Some of them should be thanking me. Dying of gout at sixty is worse than being killed quickly at twenty.”

"Gout isn't fatal."

“Missing the point, as usual. So they would have died of something peasanty like plague or gangrene. Really, dead is dead. I don’t understand why you care. I really don’t.” Xue Yang looks legitimately puzzled. “It doesn't affect you. It barely affects them.”

Xiao Xingchen shakes his head. Xue Yang is gazing at him intently, eyes burning with frustration, as if he doesn’t understand why Xingchen is just lying there calmly and listening to his poison.

“You knew what that man did to his wife was wrong,” Xingchen repeats, “meaning you do have something in you that points in the right direction, telling you right from wrong, something not reliant on law or social customs. And you simply choose to ignore it.”

“You think too highly of me. A first.”

“ ‘Highly’! Meaning you know it’s something desirable!”

“I’m just using your own shitty rhetoric. Are we done? I’m tired…” Xue Yang looks up at the moon again, filling his lungs with the fetid swamp air that, to Xingchen, smells sweet.

“No. Xue Yang, why did you hold onto A-Qing’s tongue all this time, and turn her into a sentient fierce corpse?”

“Because I—” He stops. “Getting sneaky, daozhang, throwing in these questions.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Don’t call you what?”

Xingchen shakes his head. “Never mind. Why did you spend six years trying to bring me back, and the past three weeks camped out here on a swamp trying to stop me from rotting?”

“Stop saying ‘rot’!”

“Xue Yang, I am trying to understand you.”

Xue Yang is playing with the long tendrils of hair framing his face, not so much as looking in Xiao Xingchen’s direction. “Are we done?”

“Why did you leave Song Lan alone?”

“I didn’t leave him alone. Are you deaf? I cut out his tongue—”

“Xue Yang.”

“Well, he wasn’t you!” Xue Yang explodes. “Is that what you want to hear? You were coming back soon, I just…” I only wanted you. Perhaps even, I couldn’t betray you like that. “I kill people. I don’t hurt them. It’s not like I enjoyed hurting A-Qing.”

Xiao Xingchen can’t let such a blatant lie slip past. “You enjoy killing people. I have every reason to believe you enjoy hurting them as well.”

“That’s not what I meant by that.”

Xiao Xingchen wonders what Xue Yang went through while living on the streets, to make someone like him not want to “hurt” people in that way. He can imagine some of it. Xue Yang had practically told him, that night in the inn...

There’s an odd quivery look on Xue Yang’s face. As if realizing this, he gets to his feet. “Are we done? I’m thirsty.”

“Xue Yang…”

Xue Yang takes a step, wincing. “Be more careful next time, won’t you? I’ll be walking with a limp for a week.”

“Don’t do that, don’t turn everything into a joke or vulgarism—”

Xue Yang flies off through the grass.

Xingchen picks up A-Qing’s tongue and follows him. His legs are weak, but he pushes his way through the chest-high grasses, finding Xue Yang sitting on the edge of the water, arms wrapped around his knees.

Xingchen kneels at the edge of the water and buries his eye and A-Qing’s tongue in the soft sweet-smelling mud. It’s a beautiful warm night, the dazzling gold moonlight glimmering off the wide stretch of marshland. Dark clumps of tall, graceful reeds grow from the rippling water, with the hushed sounds of the night creatures carrying clearly over the water. The song of the crickets, the chirping of frogs. A stork strides through the water not a stone’s-throw away, gleaming white in the moonlight, and stars speckle the deep purple sky, brilliant and clear, here at the edge of the earth.

Xingchen imagines stepping into the shining gold water, letting it close over his head, envelope him, embrace him.

One more dead rotting thing…

“Does it hurt?” Xue Yang’s voice breaks the stillness. “Your eye.”

Xiao Xingchen touches the blindfold. He wonders if it’s the same one he used to wear, kept by Xue Yang all these years. “No.”

“Maggots hurt.” Xue Yang glances down at his gloved hand. “I know.”

Xiao Xingchen swallows. “I’m fine.”

“And your hand and ear?”

“Not much.”

“I shouldn’t have left you alone. Those vultures—”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Xue Yang rests his chin on his knees. He looks more worn-out than Xiao Xingchen has ever seen him, as if the gamut of the night’s emotions have wrung him out and left him empty. “I don’t know how to fix you,” he confesses, his voice almost inaudible.

Xiao Xingchen sits down beside him. He doesn’t think those words have ever passed Xue Yang’s lips before.

“I tried,” says Xue Yang. “I really tried…"

Xingchen looks down at his black-mottled hands. Even in the moonlight he can detect their soft, half-slimy, half-waxy coat.

As he watches, a fly lands on his hand, and another, and another. Or perhaps they had been there all along. He can hear the buzzing of the nearby insect life feasting on the swamp’s rot, drawing life from death, and he’s suddenly reminded of the fungus growing on the dead fox in the Coffin House courtyard, the writhing white maggots making a home in its carcass.

Creating something new.

“You’ve carried this too long on your own,” he says. “Let me take it from here.”

Xue Yang tilts his head slightly, eyeing Xingchen with dark-circled eyes. “You know how to stop the rot?”

“No. But Shifu will.” And she might be able to fix you, too, he wants to add, but doesn’t dare.

“And you know how to find her mountain again?”

“Promise me you won’t bring up your past grievances with her when you meet.”

“I promise, I promise!...” Xue Yang rests his head on Xingchen’s shoulder. He looks very young, small and almost fragile. “I promise, Xingchen…”

It’s the first time Xue Yang has used his proper name since he’s woken. It’s strangely nice to hear. Xingchen, the person, decaying as he is, instead of Xiao Xingchen, the daozhang.

They sit in the stillness, watching the golden moonlight reflected in the water as it moves along with the moon. Listening to the splash of the frogs, the rustle of grass, the call of the night birds.

Surrounded by the sweet scent of rot.

Xue Yang falls asleep with his head in Xingchen’s lap. Xingchen trails his withered purple fingers through his hair, along his jaw, letting his hand rest on his head.

He does not sleep.

He’s at home here, among the decay…

One more dead rotting thing.

They leave the swamp the next morning and travel across the open countryside. Xingchen is too weak to fly, but Xue Yang holds him when he can despite his own growing weakness. Xingchen needs more and more blood just to stay upright, needs Xue Yang’s yang every night, every morning, needs to rid himself of tainted yin, just to keep his mind half clear.

One night he forgets where he is, rises, wanders off, trips, falls.

“Xingchen!” Xue Yang helps him to his feet. “Be careful—”

Xiao Xingchen’s hand comes off in his.

The same hand Xue Yang had pulled him by back in the bandit village what seems like a lifetime ago, he remembers the next morning, after Xue Yang pulls out of him and settles back on Xingchen’s legs.

Xue Yang is staring down at him with a hazy look in his eye.

“I shouldn’t have grabbed on your hand like that,” he says, reaching out to touch Xiao Xingchen’s wrist stump. He'd bandaged it during the night, but dark brown juices have seeped into the still-damp material, staining it with sweet-smelling liquid. "I keep pulling at your hand—”

Xingchen closes his eyes. “It’s not your fault, and I can’t feel anything…”

Xue Yang presses his forehead to Xingchen’s. Xingchen’s skin is still slippery to the touch, still covered in rancid black spots where the reddened flesh has necrotized. “We’ll be there soon,” he says, “won’t we?”

Xingchen nods.

Xue Yang kisses him. He doesn’t seem to notice the blowfly eggs hatching in Xingchen’s mouth, the rice-like maggots living in his empty eye socket, the beetles in his nostrils, the flies that swarm his body and lay eggs on his oozing wrist stump.

Flies that settle on Xue Yang’s own face, attracted by the slimy rot rubbed off on his skin.

It’s late afternoon when they arrive at Baoshan Sanren’s mountain, days later, weeks later.

Xue Yang collapses to his knees at the foot of the mountain. He’s been too weak to fly these past few days, with deep purple circles under his sunken eyes and white hands that tremble as he fixes Xiao Xingchen’s hair every morning.

“Is that it?” Xue Yang asks, looking up at the mountain. “It’s nice and all, but—”

“Wait.” It’s grown harder and harder to speak, Xingchen’s tongue swelling in his mouth, his throat muscles growing soft and loose under the hot sun. “Here.” He fumbles with his white jade hairpiece, but can’t get it out. "I—this—”

Silently Xue Yang gets to his feet, slides the hairpiece out of Xingchen’s topknot, sets it in Xingchen’s hand. Xingchen covers his hand with his fingers before he can remove it, nodding at him.

“Magic hairpiece? I like it. I used to have a gold one that—”

“Shh.”

Xiao Xingchen nods again, stepping forward on legs held together with gauze. Holding the hairpiece, they step through the invisible barrier.

All around them the mountain bursts into sudden radiance, the tall spirit gathering grasses around them sparkling with gold light. The air is thick with curling mists, catching the golden radiance and diffusing it, surrounding them with a warm yellow glow.

Xue Yang opens his mouth as if it speak, then closes it.

“Come,” says Xingchen.

They walk up the mountain, wrapped in the glowing mists.

Just a little farther now to the spot he remembers so well.

A pretty forest glade, gently shaded from the sun. Tall spirit-gathering sparkling with gold light, soft green moss carpeting the bank of a small stream, tiny white mushrooms growing on the fallen logs. Slender trees bent to trail their leaves in the water, the air sweet and warm and lightly perfumed.

Just a little longer...

He stops when they reach the stream that flows up the mountain, flows up past that secluded forest glade.

He turns and touches Xue Yang’s arm, doing his best to articulate. “One last time, before things are set right.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to…”

“I want to.” Xingchen slips his robes off as they settle down in the grass. Xue Yang kisses him, heedless of the fact that his lower lip has been half eaten away by insects, showing a row of teeth in shriveled gums. The kiss is long and slow and deep, his hand slipping down between Xingchen’s legs.

Xingchen gently presses him down into the shining gold grass and lowers himself onto Xue Yang. They don’t need oil, his insides smooth and slippery with decay.

“Soon,” he says. “Soon...”

Xue Yang gazes up at him, one hand on his arm, breathing in deeply, as if he wants to fix Xingchen’s scent in his mind, remember the way he looks now, rotting and desiccated with maggots in his mouth, his eyes, nestling in the soft skin under his cock and under his arms. The tip of his nose eaten away, the bones of his jaw visible through the decomposing flesh.

Xingchen leans forward, sinks his teeth into the curve of Xue Yang's throat, and drinks.

The sigils on their chests glow brighter as he rocks forward, the blue and red spirit light mixing with the golden radiance around them.

He drinks deeply, taking more blood than he has in weeks, filling his throat with Xue Yang’s lifeblood as Xue Yang comes, filling him with his yang. He remains locked in place on top of Xue Yang, arms around him, lapping at the blood trickling from his throat. Xue Yang’s hand is buried in his loose hair, lips brushing the rotting purple skin of his throat, breath warm on his ear stump,

He can feel Xue Yang now, more clearly than he ever has till now. Feel his desperation, his fear, his desire to be—consumed—

He drinks until Xue Yang’s hand falls limply to the grass, his pulse slowing. Drinks until he knows Xue Yang is too weak to follow him.

He can drink him to death, if he wishes. Absorb all of him, the good, the bad. Take him into himself...

"Xingchen." Xue Yang moves slightly beneath him. “Take it all. Find her…”

Xingchen raises his head. He rises, draping his robes over the shivering Xue Yang.

“Don’t leave me here!” Xue Yang grasps at him, bloodless fingers clutching at his arms, crushing the small white mushrooms sprouting along Xingchen’s limbs. “Take me with you,” he says weakly. His eyes are bleary and sunken, lips gray. “I can carry you to Baoshan Sanren—”

“Shhh.” Xingchen kneels beside him, raises him up. It’s like maneuvering a large limp doll. “I’ll always be on the mountain.”

For the first time since he’s woken, he fixes Xue Yang’s hair, braiding the sides, looping it around the topknot, using his mouth as a second hand. He slides his white jade hairpiece into the topknot and lays Xue Yang back in the grass.

“She’ll find you, now,” he says. “She’ll know I sent you.”

Xue Yang tries to move, can’t. “Don’t—don’t—”

“Let her help you.” Xingchen kisses his forehead softly, leaving a smear of red on the ivory. “Don’t forget me, Chengmei.”

“Xingchen...I…” Xue Yang makes one last struggle, but the exertion is too much. His eyes slip shut and he lies stretched out in the spirit gathering grass, covered in Xingchen’s white robes, the jade hairpiece gleaming gold.

Xiao Xingchen removes the jade flute from the qiankun pouch and, naked, drifts along the stream, up the mountain, towards the glen. He’s feeling weightless, almost as if he’s floating. The light around him grows brighter as he nears the clearing, surrounding him, filling him as his legs give out and he collapses to the earth.

He lies on the mossy bank, green and black flute resting beside him, sunlight streaming through the trees. The wildflowers are in bloom all around him, their perfume mixing with the sweet smell of decay. The damp of the soil, the song of the trees, the deep roots spreading through the earth, all surround him. Flowers he’ll soon nourish, trees he will slowly feed, fungus he’ll one day nurture.

Consuming him slowly.

The earth hums beneath him, around him. Embracing him, enveloping him.

Welcoming him home.

The breeze has picked up, rippling through the grasses, rustling the trees, caressing his bare skin, soft and warm.

In the distance, he thinks he hears a familiar voice on the wind, calling his name.

Xingchen! Xingchen…

Smiling to himself, Xingchen sinks deeper into the earth.

*

The inherent eroticism of losing an eyeball atop your lover

*

liked it? AO3...or even spare a reblog?

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #179

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re building the other half of Team Tyrannical Shooting Star, Artoria (Rider Alter)! This version of Artoria is totally a maid, and as such she’s a Battle Master Fighter to coach other servants while wielding sniper rifles and swords, a Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer so she can fight in a swimsuit, and a Zeal Cleric to clean up the battlefield through sheer force of will.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: Team Satisfaction H∴T∴E!

Race and Background

Artoria’s still human, but she’s a copy of a copy, so that’s pretty Variant if you ask me. This gives her +1 Dexterity and Charisma, the Insight skill for better... maiding? She also gets the Sharpshooter feat, which lets you ignore disadvantage from long range shots so you can sniper with your rifle, ignore all but full cover, and you can take a -5 penalty to hit with a ranged weapon to deal an extra 10 damage. Basically: boom, headshot.

You’re also a variant Noble for your background, grabbing proficiency with History and swapping out Persuasion for Intimidation. We’ve played this song and dance before.

Ability Scores

In case you couldn’t tell from the feat, we’re investing heavily in Dexterity this time around. Turns out, firing a sniper rifle from the back of a moving motorcycle requires good balance. You also have pretty good Wisdom- you can’t hit a target before you see it, and you can’t clean a mess before you find it either. Third is Charisma, you’re pretty intimidating, and you’ve got to know how to conduct yourself to be a proper maid. Your Constitution isn’t terrible, riding on waves isn’t easy. Your Strength isn’t that high, we just don’t need it, but we’re dumping Intelligence. Your skills in maidery come from persistence, not know-how.

Class Levels

1. Fighter 1: Staring off as a fighter gives you plenty of goodies right off the bat; proficiency with Strength and Constitution saves, as well as Acrobatics and Perception for the aforementioned sniping off a motorcycle, the Archery fighting style for more accurate shots, and Second Wind to heal yourself as a bonus action. Knowing when to sharpen your axe is half the battle of chopping down a tree.

2. Fighter 2: Second level fighters get an Action Surge once per short rest, giving you an extra action for a turn. Maids need to be able to handle a thousand tasks at once, after all.

3. Cleric 1: Bouncing over to Zeal Cleric now makes you a Priest of Zeal right away, letting you attack as a bonus action after you attack with your action Wisdom Modifier times per long rest. You can now (to a limited capacity) dual wield a gun and a sword. You also learn some Spells that use your Wisdom to cast and prepare. Included in the zeal package is Searing and Thunderous Smite in case you wanted to feel like a paladin again.

You also get Guidance to coach your allies, Mending to mend things, and Light to light your master’s way at night since your dumb human eyes don’t work at night. For other spells, Detect Poison and Disease will alert you to areas of filth, and Purify Food and Drink will let you dust a 5′ radius sphere of food to remove it. That is the purpose of dusting, right?

4. Sorcerer 1: We aren’t staying here long, but I wanted to pick up your Draconic Bloodline for your Draconic Resilience, giving you an extra hit point and an AC of 13 + your dexterity modifier while not wearing armor. You also get Draconic Ancestry to double your proficiency bonus against dragons.

You also get another set of Spells, this time using your Charisma to cast. Grab Booming Blade, True Strike, and Magic Missile for more combat focused spells, Friends to make your intimidation checks even easier, Mage Hand to swap weapons more easily, and Expeditious Retreat to speed yourself up. You’re relying on Nero for your bike, but it wouldn’t hurt to be good at running either.

5. Fighter 3: Bouncing back to fighter now for your martial archetype; the Battle Master! When you become a battle master you become a Student of War, giving you proficiency with one type of artisan’s tools. Unfortunately they forgot to make cleaning supplies and option, but you can always go with Cook’s Utensils for the added bonus of getting to feed yourself.

You also get Combat Superiority, four d8s that recharge on short rest. You can spend one die per attack (or in another way, depending on the maneuver) to switch up how your attack works, adding extra effects.

Commander’s Strike forgoes your own attack to give another ally the chance to attack as a reaction, and they add the d8 to their damage. Your Commanding Presence gives you a bonus to your intimidation checks (among others). You also get a Maneuvering Attack, adding the die to your damage and letting an ally move as a reaction without provoking attacks from the target you just hit. If you really want them to move, you can always shoot them instead.

6. Fighter 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to become a Crossbow Expert. This lets you ignore loading on crossbows so you can use Priest of Zeal on your sniper rifle, ignore disadvantage on ranged attacks while enemies are within 5′ of you, and you can officially dual wield a crossbow with your excalibur without needing Priest of Zeal, opening it up for that snipering I was talking about a few clauses back.

7. Fighter 5: Fifth level fighters get an Extra Attack, giving you two attacks per action, three per turn while dual-wielding, or 4-5 with your action surge. Get more done faster, the essence of maiding.

8. Cleric 2: At second level, clerics can Channel Divinity once per short rest in one of two ways. Saying you can Turn Undead is a bit of a stretch, but a lot of ghosts are casters, so I doubt they’d be happy to see you. Alternatively, your Consuming Fervor lets you maximize the damage of one thunder or fire effect for more effective grenades. Only the best; this attention to detail is why you’re a professional.

9. Cleric 3: Third level clerics get second level spells, like your freebies Magic Weapon and Shatter for a better excalibur and a stun grenade. You can also use Enhance Ability for more coaching, and Lesser Restoration to fix up old cars. Wait, that’s not what that spell does?

10. Cleric 4: Use this ASI to bump up your Wisdom for better maidliness and stronger spells.

11. Cleric 5: Fifth level clerics see their turn undead become Destroy Undead, instantly killing any zombies or the like of CR 1/2 or lower who fail their wisdom save.

You also get third level spells this level, like Fireball for a bigger grenade and Haste to turn whatever nonsense Nero builds into a proper racing machine. Speaking of, you’ve got to get your motorcycle seaworthy for your noble phantasm, so pick up Water Walk so it won’t sink.

12. Cleric 6: At sixth level you can Channel Divinity twice per rest, and as a zeal cleric you also get a Resounding Strike when dealing thunder damage to creatures, pushing them up to 10 feet away. You’re a maid, it would just be weird if you couldn’t sweep people off the battlefield.

13. Fighter 6: Use this ASI to become more Alert, to give yourself a +5 initiative bonus, immunity to surprise, and to prevent hidden creatures from attacking with advantage. A maid’s job is never done.

14. Fighter 7: As a seventh level battle master, you Know Your Enemy, letting you spend 1 minute to figure out two characteristics of your enemy. You find out if it is better than, worse than, or equal to you in the following: Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, AC, current HP, Total class levels, and fighter class levels. You also get a 5th die each short rest.

You also get two more maneuvers. Pushing Attack continues that sweeping theme from last time by dealing more damage and pushing the enemy away if they fail a strength save (dc 8+proficiency+dexterity modifier), and Tactical Assessment adds the die to your Investigation, History, or Insight check.

15. Fighter 8: Use this ASI to bump up your Dexterity for more accurate shots and more powerful pushes.

16. Fighter 9: Nine levels of fighter make you Indomitable, letting you re-roll a failed save once per long rest.

17. Fighter 10: Your Improved Combat Superiority makes all your maneuvers more deadly, by turning your superiority dice into d10s.

On top of that, you get one more round of maneuvers. Grab a Precision Attack to add the die to your attack roll rather than the damage for super sniping and Sweeping Attack mostly for the name. It lets you attack a second creature with the same roll as the first, dealing the superiority die in damage.

18. Fighter 11: Eleventh level fighters get another Extra Attack each action, and this one does stack with the original, giving you 3 attacks with one action, 4 with your bonus action added in, and up to 7 when you use your action surge.

19. Fighter 12: Use your last ASI for more Wisdom, giving you stronger spells and more Priest of Zeal activations.

20. Fighter 13: Your capstone level gives you a second use of Indomitable each long rest. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s extra protection, which is never a bad thing.

Pros:

Thanks to sharpshooter you have a massive range of combat, and thanks to spells like haste and Nero’s vehicles you’ll have plenty of speed to make the most use of them.

You can deal pretty consistent damage thanks to your bevy of attacks and the sharpshooter feat helping you put holes in heads from hundreds of feet away.

Despite your distance from the rest of the party, maneuvers only have a range based on sight and hearing, so you can freely support the party by giving them extra attacks, and helping them get out of sticky situations with maneuvering strikes, resounding strikes, and pushing attacks. You’re also pretty helpful outside of combat with healing and spells like Enhance Ability to help with skill challenges.

Cons:

While not terrible, your health isn’t great thanks to that dip into cleric and sorcerer. I wouldn’t call it bad necessarily, just try extra hard not to get cornered.

Even with Tactical Assessment helping out a bit, you’ve still got a low intelligence, which might make the more intellectual parts of maiding a bit harder than they need to be.

While your physical attacks are super long range, you’ve still got normal spell ranges, meaning you can’t take full advantage of the sharpshooter feat if you want to chuck grenades as well.

[captainstarkky]

In ep13 in DAYS, Why do you think TDK was dreaming of MM crying? There has to be a reason right? How can she see a possible future?

Hello!

So, let me tell you in advance, although I work in the discipline of psychology, dream analysis is never my cup of tea (lol) simply because most of its meaning changes overtime.

But either way, since we are here let's do this!

On my short analysis of Episode 13, I gave a bit of what I thought was the reason of TDK dreaming of MM. You can check it here.

But I think I got to elaborate on some parts - since it's short and kind of very straightforward and confusing.

In there, I explained that dreaming of death actually means having a hard time coping up with changes. The thing is that, that change isn't encompassed by whatever we think change is. It actually is the literal change - yes, the one that is constant: change.

TDK does seem to experience a lot of changes throughout the episode doesn't she? She was diagnosed with an aggressive brain cancer (1), then she discovered that her boyfriend was already married (2), her boss was a sexist that always pointed out the disadvantage of her being a woman, a weirdo showing up to her doorstep (Myul Mang), discovering that this weirdo is actually a supernatural being that is the personification of death himself, entering a contract with him, and finally, probably the biggest, is when her memories were all wiped out - leaving her back to zero before meeting Myul Mang.

Of everything mentioned above, she was able to cope up because she had Myul Mang by her side. But what if we remove MM from the story? It's obvious that her mind wouldn't be able to handle the stress. But she got her family with her. That is the point. Instead of being comforted, I bet she feels even more burdened. She can't talk to anyone how she really feels. She can't easily confide to anyone if she feels scared or what. It was way too different when MM was around.

(He might have a nasty personality, but MM really helped TDK cope with accepting her own demise - and now he's gone from her memory)

Take note that she have a reason why she did it. She had a reason and her reason is that (1) she doesn't want him to feel pain when she's gone; and (2) she already knew what he was planning to do and she doesn't want him to disappear -which he eventually did in Episode 14.

Because of this too much things that are happening in her head - plus the unexpected return of MM in her life, it's inevitable that she would experience a great deal of anxiety and stress. And most of these, if not channeled out of the body could manifest themselves as dreams.

Now we're here. Answering a question on why did she dream about MM crying over her funeral.

So let's lay down the things we know before that scene happened.

Flash back, TDK had her memories of MM wiped out; it was together with their initial contract.

TDK met MM in the most unexpected way at the parking lot.

They talked and we realized that the contact was void when we heard her thoughts - he was not supposed to.

Then they renewed the contract.

MM got very curious about TDK after renewing the contract because Sonyeonshin told him that she did not do anything to him but to TDK.

He asked questions - basically interrogated her.

He saw his phone, then probably asked himself "why does he have a phone and why is the wallpaper of my phone a picture of me and that TDK?" It made him a lot more piqued.

Then TDK was informed that after the biopsy, a portion of her hair would be shaved and her hair would start falling down as the chemo and rad therapy starts. So she was advised to shave it off while she still have time.

She went solo. She went to a saloon and styled her hair before asking the stylist to shave her head off.

But even before that happened, her nose bled and she slightly panicked when the stylist panicked; as she was standing up, she suddenly had a dizziness attack and stumbled. MM caught her as she was falling and he brought her back to the hospital.

Now the dream. Okay, if you've read my short interpretation of it then the explanation of the dream should be OK already. As for "why he dreamt of MM specifically?"

Well, in a scientific point of view, it's easy. It's not that she wanted to see MM. It is because MM was the last person she saw. But that is just too boring, tbh. So let's get haphazard and explain it with fun.

I think, her dreaming of MM, is an indication that her mind is trying to piece out together specific events that would possibly happen. It's not foreseeing, dreams oftentimes don't do that - unless you're a psychic. It's an imagination on what could happen given the facts. MM could be a representation of the great deal of people that would mourn her death - now, why not any from her family? Why specifically MM? Because of either: (1) he's the last person she saw. The closest her brain could describe as 'most human', that is. (2) her brain was closely piecing up information about 'someone' and he fit the bill; (3) she's also equally curious of MM that's why her brain was trying to personify him in her subconscious, now using him as the 'model'; (4) Sometimes, the person you see in your dream is a reflection of what you really feels inside. In my own analysis, Sa-ram in her dream is a reflection of what she really feels inside - sad, sorry, and pity to herself that she would die and she cannot do anything.

Could either of the four. Or: (5) even if she forgot about him, his existence has already been engraved in her system. And by the time he popped out in front of her again, it allowed her brain to see a discrepancy on the system and as it tried to bring back the memories she lost, it brought back the thought of MM crying in front of her memorial. That's the power of curiosity. That is also the reason why most amnestic patients have very vivid dreams - their brain is trying to establish a connection of the severed memories.

And for the record, she did not see a possible future. It was her head making up illusions of what could happen in the future given the facts that she knew. Some of the facts that she knew that probably lead to that dream:

She's dying.

She's supposed to die.

This man (MM) is weird, and he's the last guy I saw.

"He's probably no-one but why does he pop out everywhere I go?"

Bonus information from my theory:

Why did she apologize to MM?

She apologized to MM because she saw him crying. And that's because of her funeral for sure.

Because her brain now recognizes MM as the model of the people who would mourn for her, she apologizes to him.

Because most of the dreams are ambiguous, there is a fictional/conspiracy theory that could say that MM in the dream represents TDK's state of mind. She's not coping up with the change she's been to and she was struggling in trying to connect the dots. She's curious of MM but she can't remember who he is. So she was apologizing.

She was apologizing to herself for literally throwing her happiness away. And even is she forgot who Sa-ram is, she knew that she’s unconsciously longing for him. But she can't remember him - so she was apologizing to him.

Why did she apologize to the real world MM?

It was a brief hallucination - a normal hallucination when a person is asleep. It was her still trying to apologize to the made up MM in her brain, without her knowing that she was really apologizing to the real MM.

It could be that even before MM came inside the room, she was already sleep talking: "I'm sorry." It's just that, coincidentally, he was there, holding her hand and since she saw him in her dream, she unconsciously apologized to him too.

By the way, if a nurse was there, she would've done the same. Scientifically, she was still asleep and not awake. She was in the period of transitional state of consciousness between wakefulness and sleep - so technically she was still not on her 100% wakefulness.

I hope I made sense. Lol. It's just, there are a lot of theories popping out and I'm sure most of them are deviating from one another. This is just my opinion of what was happening and others might have different opinions as well. I just hope I laid mine well enough to be understood.

Thank you for asking, doommate!

[blackcloverdatabase]

English Translation of Novel 3: Chapter 2 – The Man Known as Julius (Part 1 of 2)

Here’s the first half of the last untranslated chapter from Book of Yuno! This one features Julius, Yuno, and Bell taking care of an orphaned baby boar. It’s adorable and also a little heartbreaking! Charlotte and Jack also get to meet the lil’ guy!

Also, aside from a few tweaks at the beginning, this translation is appended to the translation of the first few pages that the Black Clover discord was kind enough to supply to me. I didn’t see any translation errors when I scanned through it and I liked the writing style of whoever did those first few pages, so a part of this translation also comes from the generous soul who had started this translation before me. 

--- The Man Known as Julius (Part 1) ---

Julius Novachrono.

He is a man who needs no introduction, reigning over the Order of Magic Knights as the Wizard King. The entire Order moves at his command, protecting the peace of Clover Kingdom both day and night.

He himself possesses no small degree of combat ability, stationed at the top of the Order as he is, and he has led his troops to victory through countless battles. Even after ascending to his current position as the Wizard King, he continues to find his way to the battlefield, demonstrating impressive skills in all areas.

He is the hero of the Clover Kingdom, a source of inspiration for all Magic Knights – No, for all the Kingdom’s citizens.

That's just the sort of person Julius is.

And yet, despite all of that......

"All right, all right!! Sorry I'm late~ I brought plenty of feed for you!"

At this very moment, that inspirational figurehead to all the Kingdom was – Julius was…..

"C'mon, you gotta eat up! I got lotsa food for you! A ha ha! Now now, no shoving! Take your time!"

......grinning from ear to ear and speaking in baby-talk with a soft, sweet tone......

"Oh gosh, you're TOO cute! Seriously, you're way too cute, Graham! I feel like when I'm talking to you, my manner of speaking just becomes shamefully bad...... Well, whatever! Not like there's anyone else around to hear, huh?"

…….to a baby boar as he delivered its feed.

Staying hidden as he watched, Yuno managed to keep a straight face on the outside, but internally, he was shaking. Bell, clearly shaken as well, was thinking exactly the same thing as him: They weren’t quite sure what they were looking at, but they knew they had just witnessed something pretty damn crazy.

How did they stumble across such a crazy sight? Fret not, it won't take long to explain.

 That day, Yuno and Bell had been on patrol near the outskirts of Tonan, a town in the Common Realm. A group of bandits had been staging raids in the area as of late, and it was rumored that one of the bandits possessed an "Original Sin" grimoire. Thus, Magic Knights were being sent out in pairs to patrol the area in shifts.

Yuno and Bell found themselves on duty that day, and after finishing up their patrol with a Knight from another squad, they traded off with the pair who had come to relieve them and slipped away into a forest just a short walk from the town's borders.

They were here to train in preparation for the Royal Knights Selection Exam, which would be held a few days from now.

After the "hot springs training camp" put on by Mereoleona Vermillion (which was one heck of a euphemism for forced mountain climbing and attempted murder), Yuno had mastered "Mana Skin", the technique wherein the user continuously channels a fixed amount of magical energy and uses it to protect their body or increase their physical ability.

However, if he wanted to pass the Selection Exam, if he wanted to demonstrate his skill over Asta, he needed to take his abilities up another notch... no, another two notches if he could manage it.

And so, at every opportunity he could find between missions, Yuno slipped away in search of a secluded little enclave to train.

On this particular day, while on the hunt for a bit of privacy, he came across a hut standing beside a small pond. From the outside, it looked like a long-abandoned cabin, but the footprints he found near the entrance were fresh. Was this the bandits' hideout......? Only one way to find out. Taking care not to be noticed, Yuno silently approached the cabin.

However, it was then that he noticed a young boar with its body and legs wrapped in gauze. This, he found quite suspicious, but before he could move any closer to inspect, he caught sight of someone heading straight for the cabin using Flight Magic.

Panicking, Yuno dove into the bushes to hide, peeking out to see just who had arrived…...

"Gra~~~ham~~~ Were you a good little boy? Were you? Were you??"

Speaking in the most babyish voice Yuno had ever heard, it was none other than Julius Novachrono who came descending from the heavens. Upon landing, he approached the cabin, bearing feed for the boar, and removed his dirty bandages while stroking him gently......

 Which brings us back to the present.

 "Theeeeere there there! Now, let's get your bandages changed!"

Tearing their gazes from the sight of Julius letting loose with even more heinous baby talk, Yuno and Bell glanced at one another. Evidently, Julius was out here taking care of this boar. That much was obvious, but......

Bell dropped her voice, whispering softly to Yuno,

"…...Wh-what do we do, Yuno?"

"There's nothing for us to do," he returned shortly. "Because we didn't see anything, got it? Let's just head back."

That was best for all parties involved. Yuno had absolutely no desire to see Julius acting like that, and Julius probably wouldn't have wanted anyone to spot him out here either. Thankfully, Julius didn't seem to have noticed he was being watched, probably as much to do with the fact that Yuno had disguised their presence as the fact that Julius was absolutely enthralled with playing with the little boar and was paying little attention to his surroundings.

If he was going to make a break for it, it needed to be now. However, Bell leered with squinted eyes,

"...But, you know, that poor little thing really doesn't seem like he's enjoying the attention..."

This much Yuno could see. Actually, it was impossible not to notice. The little boar was squirming and squealing up a storm as Julius attempted to change his bandages, desperately attempting to flee. There was no mistaking that attitude as one of a fond pet.

"…...Neither one of us knows what's going on here. It's not our place to say anything."

"Yeah, I guess you're right…..."

"Plus......"

Yuno glanced back to Julius, who, despite the boar's fierce attempts to escape, was doing his best to see to its needs, and even looked happy doing so. Julius looked like he was having the time of his life, eyes bright with elation - just as he seemed to when he was talking about magic or chatting with the squad Captains he trusted so much. It was true that Yuno didn't want to get involved in whatever was going on here, but he also didn’t want to interrupt Julius when he was so utterly enthralled.

"Plus what?"

"Forget it. Let's go." With that, Yuno was about to stand up, but then......

"SQUEEEEEEAAAAAL!!"

The boar let out a particularly shrill scream, and Julius instantly drew back just as the boar released a huge burst of flame.

"W-what the heck is THAT?!"

"That boar...it must be a Flame Boar! They're a special breed that can use Fire Magic!"

A normal boar was one thing, but keeping an animal of this nature as a pet was forbidden…… though, that hardly mattered right now.

Yuno leapt from the bush, rushing to Julius's side. "Your Majesty! Are you all right?"

In retrospect, that had been rather stupid of him. After all, what could a Flame Boar possibly do that could in any way harm the Wizard King? It was patently clear he didn’t have a single scratch on him, no burns of any sort, and even the cabin itself remained safe from any flying sparks.

"......Yu-Yuno-kun........!?"

Julius's face was so red, he could have started spitting fire himself.

"H-h-how...how long--how long h-h-have you...been w-watching...me...?"

"I didn't see anything I didn't hear anything PLEASE EXCUSE ME, SIR!"

Yuno sputtered before promptly turning on his heel and darting off. It was a rather forcible retreat, admittedly, but he was convinced it was the best course of action. What had just transpired would only reflect badly on the both of them, so pretending it had never happened at all was for the best.

“W-wait! P-please hear me out!”

However, Julius chased after him, his expression desperate.

"W-wait! Please wait! There's something I'd like your help with!"

……And when the Wizard King said that to you...well, you really had to stop, didn't you?

 “……So, this little one’s parents died, which is why you decided to take care of it here for the time being?”

After all that, Yuno and Bell were invited to sit on the bench in front of the cabin as Julius served them some tea and snacks. Both the tea and snacks looked rather extravagant, so Yuno couldn’t help but wonder if they were meant to bribe him to keep quiet. At the same time, Julius explained his circumstances to them.

“Yes. Well, in short, that is correct.”

As he watched Graham run around chasing butterflies, Julius continued,

“Not too long ago, I was passing by this area when I found two flame boars being attacked by bandits. Those were Graham’s parents.”

Bell grabbed a macaroon with both hands and stuffed it into her mouth as she asked Julius,

“Why did those bandits attack them? Were they hungry or something?”

“Flame boar fur has excellent heat resistance, so it’s sometimes used to make magic tools and the like. Because of that, it can be sold for a high price. Of course, that doesn’t make it right to kill them indiscriminately, so I rushed in to save them. I managed to capture the bandits, but…… it was already too late for Graham’s parents.”

On the outside, Yuno was expressionless as he nodded in agreement, but on the inside, he felt bitter. This was not an uncommon occurrence in areas that have been plagued by bandits. They indiscriminately kill, eat, and sell any animals unfortunate enough to live in their territory.

“Although he was injured, I at least managed to save Graham. However, I couldn’t just leave him, so I was going to drop him off at an animal shelter…... but no matter which shelter I tried, they all refused to take him.”

“Because it’s forbidden to keep a dangerous animal like a flame boar as a pet.”

Technically, if he made full use of his authority as the Wizard King, he would be able to force any facility to keep Graham. However, that would surely cause trouble for the breeders and the other animals they kept at the facility. As Yuno knew, Julius was not the sort of man who would do that. Julius shrugged lightly before replying,

“Right. That’s why I started taking care of him in secret. I’d like to keep him until he recovers from his injuries, at least.”  

Julius replied as if to substantiate the explanation that Yuno reached.

“I see…...”

Yuno said as he nodded. Although Yuno came to agree with him, Julius felt a small pang of guilt. His story wasn’t a lie, but it was not the whole truth, either. That’s because if Julius had used his time magic, he could have cured Graham’s injuries in an instant. However, if he did that, then Graham would grow up with the mistaken assumption that injuries can be cured easily. Julius wanted to avoid clouding Graham’s worldview for the convenience of humans any more than it already has.

Coming back from that tangent, Julius continued,

“That’s why I was wondering if you could keep this a secret for me? If it became known that the leader of the Magic Knights broke the rules, there would be a lot of trouble.”

Particularly from Marx. If Marx found out, there was no telling what Marx might say to him. It was easy to imagine what awaited in his future……

“You were raising an unusual pet, huh……? That’s the kind of thing an extravagant bachelor with too much time and money on his hands would do! Stop playing around and get back to work!”

……And he would continue on and on like that.

Yuno lightly tilted his head, completely unaware of Julius’s troubles.

“Of course. It was never my intention to tell anyone, but…… wouldn’t it be better to take care of Graham somewhere else? Bandits might go after him again, and Magic Knights take turns coming here almost every day, so you might get spotted again.”

“……That’s true, but……”

Julius pointed to a large rock a short distance from the cabin. Placed in front of that rock were two bouquets of flowers. Sometimes, Graham would sit at that rock and squeal in a very particular way. Yuno has heard these squeals before. It was the sound flame boars make when they are trying to get their parents’ attention. In other words, that was where……

Julius saw that Yuno understood and nodded.

“That was where Graham’s parents were killed. I think that’s why…... Graham refuses to leave this place.”

For the second time that day, Yuno felt a bitterness in his heart.

“…...I was raised in a village, so I’ve seen animals like that before. Some baby animals won’t leave their parents’ side, even after their parents have died. That’s probably happening here, too.”

Even if you pull that baby animal away from its parents’ bodies by force, it will likely return. In the end, it will probably die, either from being targeted by other animals or from illness caused by being near a corpse. If Julius wasn’t protecting him, that’s probably what would have happened to Graham.

“I thought about using magic to move his parents’ corpses, but…… it would be a problem if Graham thought I was playing with them. In the end, I decided to bury them here.”

“……I see.”

Bell said, looking sorrowfully at Graham. She then clenched her hand into a little fist and said,

“Wizard King! You’re really something! It’s really cool that you’re willing to go so far for a single wild boar!”

“……Hey, Bell. You’re being rude.”

“Ha ha, I don’t mind, Yuno-kun. Miss Wind Spirit, I’m happy to hear you say that. By the way, can I try mixing your magic with mine? Just for a bit?”

“I’m Yuno’s, so no way! However, I kinda like you, so you’re allowed to call me Bell!”

Bell was being incredibly impertinent as she said this, but Julius’s response was simply to smile gently and say,

“That’s too bad. Well, I’m happy that I can call you by your name!”

He possesses great power, he shows tolerance toward anyone, and he holds compassion even for animals. That’s the kind of person Julius is. The kind of person Yuno - and Asta - were aiming to become was as grand as ever. Moreover, Yuno was only looking at a small part of the Wizard King. Despite this, he understood that the Wizard King was a grand existence. If he could see everything, just how grand would he be……? Even trying to imagine it made him feel overwhelmed.

‘Even so, someday I’ll…..!’

As such thoughts reignited in Yuno’s chest, Julius cleared his throat as if to move on to a new subject.

“This brings me to what I wanted to ask you…… Just as you said, this is not a good place to be raising an animal, and I’m also too busy to take care of Graham by myself……”

He appeared rather uncomfortable as he looked at Yuno and Bell.

“That is…… I know this is a selfish request, but you seem like you wouldn’t spill a secret, so…… could you maybe…… help me take care of Graham?”

‘I knew this was coming……,’ Yuno thought as he weighed his options. For Julius, it would make things quicker and easier if Yuno and Bell cooperate now that they’ve seen this place. However, keeping it a secret from the Order of Magic Knights was definitely going to be troublesome.

“Of course, I’m not asking you this as the Wizard King. I’m asking you as a person, so there’s nothing wrong with saying no. You’ll end up breaking the rules, too…… it would be troublesome for you if you get discovered, and you could run into trouble here, too.”

That’s right. If something were to happen here, he wouldn’t be able to get here in time to help Yuno. This was not a task one should carelessly take on.

“Of course. If you’re alright with us helping you, we would love to.”

“Right, of course you’d say no…… the Royal Knights Selection Exam is coming up and you have your own duties to…... WAIT, REALLY!?”

Julius had crestfallenly lowered his head, but then he raised his head back up in surprise and sputtered,

“Huh, a-are you sure!? You’re going to take on this task, just like that……?”

“Yes. I can do my duties as a Magic Knight here…... Plus, if I let a thought like “something bad might happen” stop me, then I’d never get anything done.”

The second half of what he said came from his own experiences as a child. In life, if you don’t do anything, then nothing will happen. He didn’t want that. If you find yourself unable to move because of all your negative thoughts, it’s sometimes necessary to just try doing whatever you want before thinking about what you should do. This was something he learned from watching that guy live his life. He wasn’t sure if this was one of those times, but, at the very least…...

“Also, you said that I would be breaking the rules, but I’m just helping you because I think that’s the right thing to do. I think that for most people, doing what they think is right would be the correct thing to do.”

……Yuno knew that he liked what Julius was doing. That’s why he was going to help him without worrying about problems that may or may not happen later. Wanting to support that idea, Bell whirled around Julius and said,

“That’s right! That’s absolutely right! Actually, it’s weird that you’re doing something so cool so sneakily by yourself! At the very least, you should let us help you!”

“You guys……”

Julius appeared a little surprised as he said this, but then,

“……I see. William truly is blessed with some good kids.”

He nodded as if he came to understand something before calmly smiling once more.

“Thank you, really! Well then, I’ll be counting on you two!”

Yuno bowed his head with a smile before looking around at his surroundings.

“Even so, it really is dangerous to be raising an animal here. If we don’t take measures soon, then……”

“Y-yeah…… You really are a good kid. You’re able to look at things pragmatically so quickly……”

Julius wanted to bask in the warm, snug atmosphere they just created for a little longer, but…… now wasn’t really the time for that. Julius grabbed a large sack that was left at a corner of the cabin and brought it to Yuno and Bell.

“I’ve already done something about that. I bought all sorts of magic tools for dealing with bandits or other Magic Knights.”

Julius pulled out one expensive-looking magic tool after another from the bag.

“Umm, this one is a jewel that keeps evil away. I’m pretty sure this one is a collar that seals away magical power. And this one is a magic tool that keeps others from being able to sense your mana, even if they use mana perception. Also, this one is…...”

As he pulled each tool out, he explained in detail what each one of them did with a huge grin on his face. Yuno and Bell, who felt nothing but respect for Julius just moments ago, started to think ‘This guy is kind of scary…….’. Just how much money and effort is he sinking into one wild boar? Bell whispered into Yuno’s ear,

“……Hey, Yuno. Is he one of those? He gave us all those reasons earlier, but…... maybe he’s just an old guy who wants to secretly raise a pet……?”

“Please don’t say that……. Just don’t.”

He may have sounded a little unconfident in his reply, but that’s not because he was starting to think the same thing Bell was thinking. Absolutely not.

“I read this in a book once, but unmarried bachelors in their 40’s tend to have a lot of money, and they want something to spend their money on, so they buy a pet. Then, that causes their paternal instincts to explode forth, so they end up spending even more money on it.”

“You’re talking about a normal unmarried bachelor in his 40’s. This man is the Wizard King. Don’t lump them together.”

“Hm? Yuno-kun, did you say something?”

“Nothing.”

And so, despite all his doubts and unease, his days taking care of Graham with Julius began.

 ----- The following morning -----

“Oh, Yuno-kun! Bell-kun! Thank you for taking care of him so early in the morning~”

Julius swooped down from the sky toward Yuno and Bell, who were training near the lake.

“Good morning. You’re up early too, your highness.”

“Yeah, I have a meeting to attend just before noon today, so I figured I’d stay here until then. What about you?”

“We have the day off today, so I’ve been training my magic by reinforcing the cabin and changing Graham’s bedding. Also, I think he’s still fine for now, but I was thinking that we should make a fence in preparation for when Graham becomes independent from his parents. It would be troublesome if he accidently wandered into one of the villages.

“……Y-yeah. You sure work fast. Adaptable, too.”

Julius said in surprise. From the start, Yuno was meticulous and diligent. He wanted to do as much as he could while he was here.

“Look, Graham! Your Daddy’s here!”

Bell said as she flew toward Graham, who was eating his feed in front of the hut. Julius had a questioning, but also happy expression on his face as he asked,

“……D-daddy?”

“Bell. Don’t call him weird names. It’s rude.”

“It’s fine, right? He’s practically acting like a surrogate dad!”

“Even so, calling him ‘Daddy’ is a little…...”

As Yuno and Bell continued, Julius’s face steadily became redder until he cleared his throat and interrupted,

“W-well, it’s fine, isn’t it? It feels a little uncomfortable to be called that, but it might be good for Graham. I’m not sure how I feel about it, though…..”

“Oh, well then I won’t call you that. I’m not going to force you to-

“Ah, no! Never mind! Let’s go with that!”

Julius interrupted before crouching down in front of Graham.

“Even so, you two are amazing for being able to feed Graham already. It took a lot of struggling on my part to get him to trust me enough to do that……”

Julius sounded a bit woeful as he said this. Yuno responded as he walked toward the hut,

“I’m not sure why, but animals have always liked me. Also, Bell is a wind spirit, so it might be easier for Graham to trust her over a human being. Actually……”

Yuno glanced at the tombstone for Graham’s parents as he continued,

“You began taking care of Graham right after his parents were killed. That would be the time when Graham would hate humans the most. The fact you managed to feed him and tend to his wounds despite that makes you even more amazing.”

It looked like Graham was putting up a lot of resistance yesterday when the Wizard King was changing his bandages, but that was probably just because his wounds still hurt. It’s not like Graham hasn’t opened his heart to him.

“The reason we’re able to get along with Graham right now is because of you, your highness. Isn’t the fact that Graham knows that not all humans are bad because you poured so much love into him?”

“Y-you think so? That would make me very happy, but……”

Julius sounded embarrassed as he replied before extending his hand toward Graham’s head.

“Graham~ It’s……. It’s Daddy. Daddy’s he-

“SQEEEA, SQEAAAL!”

CRUNCH

With full force, Graham chomped down on Julius’s fingers.

“……………”

A terribly awkward atmosphere arose between Julius and Yuno. In the meantime, Bell, who is incabable of reading the mood, tried her best to open Graham’s mouth as she reprimanded him.

“Hey, Graham! Stop that! You wouldn’t do that to me or Yuno, right!? It’s almost as if you don’t trust the Wizard King after all!”

Yuno went pale when he heard Bell utter the worst thing she could have possibly said, but Julius chided Bell with a stiff smile on his face.

“Ah, Ah ha ha! It’s fine, Bell-kun! I’m sure Graham’s just hungry!”

“What are you talking about!? Graham literally just ate!”

“Then, he’s probably just trying to play! Yeah! I’m sure he just wants to play with me!”

“Even so, he looks serious! It’s like he’s trying to bite your fingers off!”

“Bell! BELL! Just stop talking! Just stop!”

Unusually for him, Yuno raised his voice as he interrupted Bell, stopping her from uttering another word and gently pulling Julius’s fingers away from Graham. After that, Graham trotted away toward the lake to drink some water. Those hellish couple of seconds were finally over, but tears started to pool in Julius’s eyes.

‘Should I say something…..?’ Yuno thought, maybe about how Bell has a tendency to air-headedly stab people in the heart…… No, it was too late to say anything about that now, so he decided to change the subject as quickly as he could.  

“……Could you explain to me what all the magic tools you bought do again?”

Yuno truly did want to hear his explanation again. Julius explained everything so quickly yesterday that he didn’t get all the details.

“S-sure…… There’s a lot of them, but I think this one’s the most important one.”

Julius said, returning back to his usual self as he led Yuno inside the cabin. There, a sparkling red jewel was hidden under Graham’s bedding.

“This is a high-grade magic tool that wards away evil. It creates a barrier with this jewel at the center, and people with evil souls can’t cross through its barrier. That’s the only thing I bought the first day I decided to raise Graham, and I’ve kept this tool active this whole time.”

Bell, who returned to Yuno’s shoulder, gasped in admiration as she looked at the jewel and said,

“That’s a high-grade magic tool for ya! It would be great if every household…… or at least every village had one of these!”

“Ha ha, if we could do that, it would make our jobs as Magic Knights a lot easier. However, this jewel’s range is not very large, and this isn’t widely distributed. Moreover, one strong attack is enough to break this jewel’s barrier, so it’s not so omnipotent as one might think.”

“However, it’s more than enough to protect Graham from those bandits, right?”

Julius nodded at Yuno’s words and turned toward Graham, who was currently bathing in the lake. Around Graham’s neck was a collar with a nameplate attached.

“The next important tool is the collar I bought yesterday. That collar seals away magic. As long as he wears that, Graham won’t be able to use magic, so even if another Magic Knight finds us, they would think that he’s just an ordinary boar.”

Julius’s expression stiffened a bit before continuing.

“Well, not being found at all would be the best outcome, and hardly anyone would have any reason to come here, but…... just like you did, it’s possible that somebody could wander here by chance.”

After the three of them reflected on the “major accident” that happened yesterday, Yuno swiftly returned to the main subject and asked,

“……I see. What about the other tools?”

Following Yuno’s train of thought, Julius quickly began to explain the other tools.

“The other ones are magic tools which conceal our presence, make our mana less perceptible, and other things of that nature. Well, I’ll go ahead and explain what they all do in detail, and…… hm?”

Before he could finish talking, his expression suddenly became grim, and his gaze sharpened as he looked toward the direction of the village. Yuno looked in the same direction.

“……Somebody’s coming.”

“Yeah. I feel two sources of mana heading towards us. For now, let’s hide in the cabin.”

The two swiftly moved toward the cabin, but Bell looked at Graham and exclaimed,

“Wait! Is it alright to leave Graham like this!? We should all hide together!”

“No. We wouldn’t be able to make it in time. For the time being, let’s observe the situation. If something happens, we’ll all leave.”

Julius countered as they slipped into the cabin. Before long, two figures emerged from the forest……

“Kah kah! Look~ There’s nothing here. There’s nobody!”

The Captain of the Green Mantis, Jack the Ripper……

“How strange. I definitely felt powerful mana coming from here earlier……”

……And the Captain of the Blue Roses, Charlotte Roselei.

Two Magic Knights…... two Magic Knight Captains, no less, set foot on the lake shore. Judging by what they were saying, they must have sensed either Yuno’s or Julius’s presence. They probably noticed Julius’s mana when he flew here.

‘To think two bigshots like these would show up,’ Yuno thought, cold sweat dripping from his forehead.

“Why are Captains doing a mundane task like patrolling……?”

“…….Because the Royal Knights Selection Exam will be held soon. Even if it only helps a bit, Captains and Vice-Captains have been handling some of the routine tasks so that their squad members can focus on training for it.”

Julius explained calmly, but internally, his heart was pounding. It would be bad if they were found out by ordinary Magic Knights, but there was no mistaking that being found out by a Captain would be even worse. They nervously held their breaths in the cabin as they heard Charlotte say in a commanding tone of voice,

“Just in case, let’s split up and search the area.”

“Are you kidding me~ Damn, I was planning to get wasted at a bar until our shift ended.”

After that brief exchange, Charlotte began to trace the perimeter of the lake while Jack began investigating inside the forest, appearing very bored as he did so. Seeing this, Yuno frowned as he turned toward Julius.

“……What should we do? At this rate, we’ll be found any moment now.”

“We’re okay. Like I was saying earlier, I have a magic tool running that dulls other people’s mana perception abilities, so they won’t be able to sense our mana. I also have another tool running right now that inhibits other people’s ability to notice our presence. In other words, right now, they won’t be able to sense our presence nor our mana.”

‘If you have that much money to spend on magic tools, maybe you should put some of that money toward the Magic Knights,’ Yuno thought. In any case, if that’s all true, then their presence probably won’t be discovered. The problem was……

“……Hm? What’s this? A baby boar? What is it doing in a place like this……?”

Just as Yuno feared, Charlotte spotted Graham, and began to slowly make her way toward him. Surprised by her presence, Graham froze stiff. While he remained frozen, Charlotte crouched down to meet Graham at eye level.

“……So, you’re getting your wounds treated? You have a collar, too. Is someone feeding you here…..?”

She said as she extended her hand toward Graham’s collar.

‘Please don’t take his collar off…….!’ all three of them prayed as they watched her from inside the cabin.

“……..Graham? That’s what is carved here…… I see. So, your name is Graham?”

She muttered before looking around at her surroundings. It looked like she made particular note of whether Jack was still deep in the forest. After confirming that nobody else was around, she turned toward Graham once more, and……

“……Graham, come here. I won’t hurt you, so go ahead and sit on my lap~”

With great difficulty, but also great tenderness, she raised Graham up and placed him on her lap. Then with an innocent smile, much like the smile of a young girl, she hugged Graham’s body.

“Wow…… this is amazing. I though boar fur would be rough and scratchy, but it’s actually really fluffy. I wonder if it’s because you’re a baby. Tee hee, this feels nice. You’re so cute……”

“…………”

“You’re so small. Are you eating properly? I know, I’ll find something good for you to eat! What would you like to eat? Hm? I’ll buy anything you want~”

“…………”

The three inside the cabin continued to watch Charlotte dote on Graham, stiffly turning their heads toward each other. It was a different outcome then what they were expecting, but it was a crazy sight indeed.

“H-hey…… Yuno-kun……?”

This wasn’t the time to be asking this, but Julius couldn’t help but ask.

“……D-did I…… look like that when you found me……?”

“Quiet, your highness. It looks like Captain Jack has returned.”

Yuno brushed off Julius’s question and turned his gaze toward the forest. There, Jack was lumbering his way back. Charlotte noticed his presence, putting Graham down and standing back up on her feet. Her face was a bit red, so she tried to hide this with her hand as she asked him,

“……H-how was it, Jack? Did you find anyone?”

“Nope~ Not a single soul. Kah kah. It must’ve been your imagination.”

“……Maybe. It’s possible that Grah……. No, it’s possible that this injured boar’s owner came to check on him, and then headed home soon after.”

Charlotte left it at that and promptly started back toward the village.

“Anyway, we now know that no one else is here. Let’s return to the village and buy some feed…… no, let’s just go back to the village.”

“Huh? Ah, hey!”

She didn’t respond to Jack’s voice, opting instead to hurry into the forest as if she had some great mission to fulfill.

“Damn, what’s with her……? Anyway, I feel tired just being here. I feel like my physical strength and magical power is withering away. I wonder if some weird magic was cast here.”

Hearing Jack talk to himself, Yuno tilted his head in confusion.

‘What is he talking about? At the very least, I don’t feel any symptoms like that…...”

He turned toward Julius, searching for an answer from him. Julius’s reply was a little awkward as he explained,

“It’s probably the jewel that repels people with evil souls. Maybe that’s what happens when it only affects you halfway……?”

‘……I see. That Magic Knights Captain is recognized as a “halfway evil soul” by the jewel.’

Not knowing that this was the cause, Jack looked around as he muttered,

“Come to think of it, she mentioned there was a boar, but I don’t see it…… Ah, there it is.”

His eyes sharpened with a glint as they lowered toward Graham. Graham jumped in surprise as the three in the cabin watched the situation closely, feeling very different from when they were watching Charlotte. They were pretty sure that Jack wouldn’t get violent with Graham, but he might treat him roughly. That would be unpardonable. If it came to that, they would have no choice but to come out of hiding and stop him. They tensely watched over the situation to see which way it would go, but…...

“……What is he doing? Neither of them have moved an inch……”

Just as Yuno said, Jack was looking Graham in the eye with what seemed like no intention to move whatsoever. Because he was afraid, Graham also didn’t move, so it looked as if time had stopped for them both.

Bell hummed as she pretended to push up imaginary glasses,

“…...It’s just like when a bad wolf happens upon an abandoned puppy and the two come to a mutual understanding. Like, “So, you’re on your own, too…..?”, or something.”

“But he’s not on his own. He has a collar and bandages, so that much should be obvious.”

Yuno’s rebuttal was immediate, but Bell continued to dub over the other two with a hushed voice.

“I could save you, take you in as my henchman, but that would be too easy. If I do that, you’re gonna think that life is easy for as long as you live. It ain’t easy. Life is…… never easy.”

“That’s the kind of conversation two human beings would have. Also, don’t you think your image of Captain Jack is a little off?”

Yuno shot Bell down again, but then Jack headed toward the shoals of the lake and caught a fish using his Slash Magic. After that, he threw it next to Graham. Without skipping a beat, Bell continued,

“Whoops, my mistake…… I accidentally caught too many fish. Throwing them away would surely anger the gods, so I’ll give some to you. Now, young lad…… live, and grow up to be strong…….”

“Okay, that whole “gods” thing is really out of character for him. Just stop……”

“Well, I don’t know if he’d say it quite like that, but it looks like she more or less got it right…... At the very least, it appears that he won’t get rough with Graham.”

While the three of them were talking, Jack left the vicinity. After watching Jack’s figure disappear into the forest, Julius let out a huge sigh of relief.

“Whew, that scared me….. From now on, we should use magic tools that hide our magic power when we come here.”

“……You’re right. Actually, if you could find a magic tool that makes us invisible, that would be great.”

‘If we had that, we would’ve been able to escape before seeing all that,’ Yuno thought to himself as he came out of the hut with Julius.

“Are you okay, Graham? You must’ve been so scared!”

Bell said as he flew toward Graham. Graham squealed happily and started skipping about. Watching Graham behave so cheerfully, Julius had a wry smile on his face.

“Ah ha ha. I thought he’d be afraid, but he’s surprisingly okay. Have you gotten used to being around humans?”

“He might be able to relax around people who seem to hold good intentions.”

……Of course, those two seemed a little too interested in Graham, so there was another problem they had to worry about – the possibility that they may return. However, there was nothing for them to do about that other than take appropriate measures when the time comes. As Yuno came to this conclusion, Julius squatted in front of Graham and extended his hand toward the fish Jack caught.

“Isn’t this great, Graham? You have a fish! Daddy will cut it into pieces to make it easier for you to-

“SQUEAL! SQUEAAAL!”

CRUNCH!

At that moment, Graham chomped down on Julius’s fingers with all his might.

“………….”

 — To be continued in Part 2 —

Julius is such a softie and I love every minute of it. Spoil that baby boar!

Charlotte’s reaction was expected (and perfectly understandable as I would love to hug Graham too), but I can’t say I saw Jack’s coming. It was…... interesting. It’s funny that his soul is considered half-evil, though.

I’m glad to be back to translating Book of Yuno again. The Black Bulls are fun, but there’s something refreshing about having the focus on a character outside of their group. Maybe it’s because he’s so introverted, but Yuno feels very natural as a book protagonist. It’s also funny to see how often the novel essentially says “he had a neutral expression on the outside, but inside he felt *insert intense emotion here*”.  

[historyofshipping]

My massive Bellarke is epic and here’s proof from s5-7 rant.

Ok guys I cannot stress enough that I am drunk, this is long, it has strong language, and it’s a trip. I am putting it almost all under a cut because it is 20 f*ing pages on word.

For reference: this was on a discord chat and I am removing all names and a few other things but there will be absolutely no editing. Anything in straight text is me, anything in italics is someone else (there’s several different someone elses so people are separated by line breaks). On my page I think it appears as everything grey is someone else, everything black is me. I’m going to put the beginning on here and rest under the cut. If you’re still going through with this, I suggest some popcorn.

Guys... I'm trying to stay optimistic but I'm really worried that jroth is gonna make bellarke canon in a really disappointing way. Like for me infidelity is a huge no in ships and I hate that becho has gone on so long that there doesn't seem to be a lot of room left in the canon timeline for a becho breakup/end that doesn't ruin the start of Bellarke for me

WAIT I GOT YOU I CAN CALM YOU I THINK BUT FIRST I NEED TO EAT MY BREADSTICKS

Every moment Echo is on the screen I want to claw my eyes out because she's so boring please jroth let it fucking end, but the feminist in me doesn't want her to die or be disrespected just because she's a callous asshole who doesn't deserve him yknow

Eat your breadsticks babe I've been living with my dread for 2 seasons I can hang on a little longer I just wish the entire becho relationship had never happened it's a blight and it's gone on so long adenfkidsngksdgnksdgn

Kate will say it better than I will, but don't lose hope! Becho hasn't really been together on screen for very long. It's only been like a few weeks to a month since the beginning of S5. They've stretched it out over two seasons, but in canon not much time has passed. And most of that time had Bellamy either sacrificing almost 300 lives to save Clarke, poisoning his sister to save Clarke, or fucking off into the wilderness with Josephine to save Clarke. They've just straight up not had enough time for Bellamy to be like, "Hey Echo, I know I said things wouldn't change but that was before my wife was actually alive, so bye." Though  to wishing Becho had just never happened. We got one good angst scene with Clarke seeing them kiss. But otherwise, I could have very much done without their whole relationship.

they gave me 2 dozen breadsticks. i ordered 6

You've been blessed by the breadstick goddess.

oh sorry i was misinformed. i only have 22. apparently one bag only had 4 OK SO BELLARKE BITCHES AM I GOING TO ANNOYINGLY DO THIS IN CAPS SO BUCKLE TF UP

I mean, I love the idea that they only got together in the sixth year on the ring when Bellamy totally lost hope but is that canon? I thought we had a 3 year range

ALL RIGHT

We ignore canon in this channel. lol They've been together for 3 months.

SO LET'S START AT THE BEGINNING OF BECHO ok caps off. i even annoyed myself

I'm so here for this.

https://tenor.com/view/murder-she-wrote-angela-lansbury-jessica-eats-popcorn-interested-gif-4594942

Damn, I was ready for caps.

OK WE'RE BACK TO CAPS

https://giphy.com/gifs/popcorn-go-on-keep-going-Zd1BUb0qs6nwjeMUBu

OK SO WE HAVE BECHO'S FIRST SCENE TOGETHER ANYONE REMEMBER WHAT BELLAMY SAID? ANYONE? THIS REQUIRES AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION

"Hey work with me so I can break everyone out of this mountain"? or something?

OH DAMN I MEANT WHEN THEY WERE CANONICALLY TOGETHER XP

"I'm a goddamn delight who's trying to save your life you ungrateful walnut so maybe don't spit in my face" is what I would have written

LMFAO OJN THE RING WHAT'S THE FIRST THING WE HEAR FROM THEM? THE FIRST IMPORTANT THING? ANYONE?

Unfortunately that scene was physically repulsive for me so I don't remember much except for "nothing will change on the ground and my sister totally didn't mean to murder you"

AHA! THERE YA GO NOTHING WILL CHANGE ON TEH GROUND BECAUSE WHAT IS HE EXPECTING ON THE GROUND? NOTHING TO CHANGE BECAUSE THE ONLY THING THAT COULD CHANGE IS -----

>"I'm a goddamn delight who's trying to save your life you ungrateful walnut so maybe don't spit in my face" is what I would have written I SPIT OUT MY DRINK I CANNOT

ANYONE? YUP

I'm behind. lol

CLARKE

AND THEN WE GOT TO THE GROUND, WHAT HAPPENED?

BEING ALIVE

His sister having more taste in his romantic partners than him?

WHAT WAS THE LITERAL ONE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN THAT WOULD CHANGE BELLAMY'S MIND DING DING DING CLARKE IS ALIVE

10 points to 

AND WHAT DOES OUR BABY BOY DO?

SACRIFICE 300 PEEPS FOR HIS WIFE

Clarke with a gun AND a kid AND a rover AND bedtime storytelling practice like what more could he want that's all the things he loves

A LITTLE AHEAD BUT BANG

BABY BOY FOLLOWS CLARKS DAUGHTER FIRST, LEAVING ECHO IN THE LITERAL DUST (that's what he does before sacrificing lives)

WE WENT FROM "I WILL NOT TOUCH THESE PEOPLE BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO DO BETTER." TO "I WILL SLAUGHTER 283 PEOPLE WITHOUT RAISING AN EYEBROW" BECAUSE RANDOM CHILD SHOWS UP AND SAYS "CLARKE'S IN TROUBLE" RANDOM CHILD WHO HAS JUST KILLED A BUNCH OF HARDENED CRIMINALS

He had the dad mug tho, he had to help her

HE SAW HIMSELF IN HER HE KNEW

OK

HIS SOUL KNEW

SO WE'RE THERE NOW BUT THEN BANG, WE'RE ON THE GROUND AND OH FUCK I FORGOT I HAD A GIRLFRIEND BUT BELLAMY IS LOYAL SO HE SURE AF ISN'T DOING ANYTHING UNTIL HE'S DONE WITH ECHO BUT

He's had 2 seasons!!!!!

CLARKE BASICALLY ACTS LIKE SHE DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THE SEPARATION THOU SHALT NOT POKE HOLES IN MY SHIT UNTIL I AM DONE

>He's had 2 seasons!!!!! But only like a few weeks in time.

BECAUSE THESE TWO FUCK HEADS CANNOT HAVE A CONVERSATION

Forgive me!

SO WE HAVE A GRAND TOTAL OF FEWER THAN 3 WEEKS THAT THEY'RE ON THE GROUND AND THEN IN THAT TIME WE HAD.... one sec pPLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO REVIEW THE TIMELINE https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/620425806742749184/season-5-7x03-so-far-timeline FOR SEASON 5 ALL RIGHT SO WE HAVE THEM TOGETHER FOR LESS THAN A WEEK BEFORE BELLAMY'S LIKE (FROM CLARKE'S PERSPECTIVE) "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR KID, I HAVE TO SAVE MY FAMILY" SO THEN WE HAVE THEM SPEND THE NEXT 10 DAYS APART BECAUSE SHE LEFT HIM AFTER SLAPPING HIM AND SHE THOUGHT HE DIED BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING MORONS WHO CAN'T HAVE A CONVERSATION (YOU WILL NOTICE A RECURRING THEME) AND THEN, ECHO HAS LEARNED THAT NOT ONLY HAS CLARKE CARED ABOUT BELLAMY ALL THIS TIME BUT THAT SHE'S ONCE AGAIN READY TO PUT THE FATE OF HUAMNITIY ON THE LINE TO SAVE HIM "GO SAVE HIM. EVEN TAKE MURDER!DAUGHTER WITH YOU" BUT BELLAMY STILL DOESN'T KNOW THIS SO ANYWAY WE HAVE ANGST!BELLAMY GET PARENT TRAPPED BY MURDER!DAUGHTER are y'all still with me? AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED IMMEDIATELY AFTER MURDER!DAUGHTER'S INTERVENTION?

BELLARKE FORGIVENESS ™

YAS NOT ONLY THAT BUT SOFT!BELLARKE RETURNS WITH A VENGEANCE [side note: you can pry this theory from my cold dead hands but there was 100% a canon bellarke scene between forgiveness and 125 year wake up just in case they ended at season 5.]

[I need them to publish that scene when this is all over]

ALL RIGHT SO FUCKING MARPER - WHO SPENT A TOTAL OF LIKE 4 MONTHS WITH CLARKE BUT 6 YEARS WITH THEIR FAMILY- DECIDED TO WAKE UP BELLARKE TO TALK TO AND GIVE GUARDIANSHIP TO AND WHY DID THEY DO THAT?

THEY BEEN KNEW

I'LL ACCEPT IT

OK SO WE GET THIS PROMISING FUTURE TOGETHER ON THIS NEW PLANET RIGHT?

WRONG MURDER POLLEN

OK BUT TECHNICALLY BECHO IS STILL TOGETHER. NO PROBLEM - WE NEED TO FIGURE OUR SHIT OUT AND THEN WE'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO HAVE PEACE AND GET TOGETHER OK SO I'M JUST GOING TO START SAYING "CHORUS" WHEN I MEAN "BECAUSE THESE TWO DUMBASSES CAN'T TALK TO EACH OTHER" IS CHORUS THE RIGHT WORD? OR IS IT REFRAIN? WHATEVER ONE REPEATS - THAT ONE ALL RIGHT SO WE HAVE THEM GOING INTO THE VILLAGE AND EVERY TIME THERE IS DANGER, BELLAMY GOES IMMEDIATELY TO CLARKE WHEN IT'S PEACEFUL, OPE IT'S BACK TO ECHO

(like the husband he is)

I HAVE A WHOLE META ABOUT THAT IF YOU WANT IT BUT SO THEN THE FIRST TIME - LITERALLY THE FIRST TIME SINCE THE MARPER VIDEO - THAT THEY'RE ALONE, IT'S BECAUSE BELLAMY HAS SOUGHT HER OUT AND WHY DID BELLAMY SEEK HER OUT? Y'ALL I'M ONLY AT 6X01. I HAVE SO MUCH AMMUNITION BUT SOMEONE IS WELCOME TO SCREEN SHOT THIS SO THAT THE NEXT TIEM WE HAVE DOUBTS, I DON'T HAVE TO TYPE IT ALL OUT SO WHY DID BELLAMY SEEK HER OUT?

>Y'ALL I'M ONLY AT 6X01. I HAVE SO MUCH AMMUNITION @kate (historyofbellarke) "Give a position show me where the ammunition is" from My Shot just popped into my head lololol

WHY DID BELLAMY LEAVE HIS CANONICAL GIRLFRIEND TO GO SEEK OUT CLARKE?

BECAUSE HE LOVES HER AND ALSO BECAUSE THERE WAS DANGER

OK BUT WHY SPECIFICALLY NOOO WHEN CLARKE WAS IN THE SCHOOL

AND THE LAST TIME SHE WASN'T IN HIS SIGHT SHE ALMOST DIED

OK THAT TOO

Okay I'm lost at this point then.

LOL

Phone a friend.

Bc she sucks and Clarke's the best?

I'LL LET ---- CHIME IN LMFAO I LOVE YOU GUYS KNOW IT'S TO TELL HER THAT HE KNOWS ABOUT THE CALLS

OH THAT SCENE

HE KNOWS THAT SHE CALLED HIM EVERY DAY FOR 2,199 DAYS HE SOUGHT HER OUT, BY HERSELF, TO TELL HER THIS

YES YES

BUT BECAUSE CHORUS

WE'RE BACK THESE FUCK HEADS CAN'T HAVE A CONVERSATION

SHE GOT NERVOUS AND DUCKED OUT BECAUSE IT'S BEEN LESS THAN 3 WEEKS SINCE HE CAME BACK AND SHE'S OVERWHELMED BECAUSE HOLY FUCK WHAT A 3 WEEK PERIOD THAT WAS (REFER BACK TO TIMELINE AS NEEDED) ALL RIGHTY SO THEN AFTER THAT THEY FIND OUT ABOUT THE RED SUN WHICH BY THE WAY IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS BECAUSE HE CALLS OVER ECHO JUST TO PROMPTLY IGNORE HER COMPLETELY [AND BECAUSE IT'S ME, I HAVE A GIFSET FOR THAT] SORRY I GOT DISTRACTED

NO WE'RE HERE FOR THE GIFSET

I'M LOOKING OK IT'S PART OF THIS SO YOU GET A 2 FOR 1 https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/184827185143/bellarke-danger-vs-becho-safety OK NOW I FORGOT WERE I LEFT OFF OH YEAH IGNORING ECHO ALL RIGHT SO THEN WE HAVE EVERYTHING GO TO SHIT AND OF COURSE, BELLARKE LOCK THEMSELVES TOGETHER AND WE HAVE THE ANGST THE ANGST BUT THEY HAVE EACH OTHER'S KEYS

WHICH IS A MARRIED MOVE IF I EVER HEARD ONE

BECAUSE THEY HAVE THE KEY TO MY HEART, WHEREVER YOU ARE, I'LL KEEP YOU

That's a very comprehensive gifset

IF YOU DON'T KNOW THAT SONG THEN I FEEL OLD SO YOU HAVE THEM UNLOCKING EACH OTHER BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY ARE

I might drift in and out of conversation, partner wants attention but I wanna finish reading this asdfgh

AND HE'S LIKE "NAH ECHO, WIFEY AND I GOT THIS. WE GOTTA TAKE CARE OF OUR KIDS." TELL THEM TO WAIT THEIR TURN SO THEY'RE GOING LITERALLY PSYCHOTIC BUT THAT'S COOL. I TRUST THE OTHER ONE ENOUGH TO NOT KILL ME BUT OH WAIT - WHAT IS BELLAMY'S PSYCHOSIS ?

Not needing Clarke anymore...?

YUP WHICH MEAN S

He needed her and knew it at some point

YUP ALSO I FOUND THAT GIFSET THAT I IDD TO THAT SONG https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/184725894498/this-song-popped-into-my-head-and-i-had-to OK SO SKIPPING AHEAD, HIS BIGGEST SECRET IS THAT HE DOES STILL NEED HER OK EVEN I'M STARTED TO GET BORED SO I'LL GIVE BULLET POINTS FROM HERE ON OUT SO WE HAVE HIM NEEDING HER HIM CALLING HER THE LEADER EVEN THOUGH SHE HASN'T BEEN FOR LIKE 6 YEARS AND WE HAVE HIM PINING OVER HER AT THE DANCE FLOOR AND PICKING A FIGHT WITH ECHO OH YEAH AND WE SEE ALL THE  BECHO CRACKS HERE

This has been a v good rundown, I won't lie.

LOL

ONWARD  I'M BACK ON TRACK

WE HAVE JUXTAPOSED: ECHO NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY WITH REGARDS TO OBUT CLARKE KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY EVEN AFTER 6 YEARS

BECAUSE WIFEY

https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/618426948212965376/historyofbellarke-4-times-someone-knew-the-right

Really you'd think the spy would know what someone wants to hear smh

NAH BECAUSE SHE HAS NO EMOTIONAL EMPATHY. WE'LL GET TO THAT EVENTUALLY

She's also kinda a shit spy. Like when has she ever done actual spying.

Y'ALL I HAVE A GIF FOR EVERYTHING. I'M THE LIZ WARREN OF BELLARKE GIFS GIFSETS AT LEAST

You don't need empathy to fake it, Madison's right she's just such a bad spy :joy:

I'VE GOT NOTHING ON ---- FOR JUST GIFS LOLi

I say this as someone who was 10/10 a spy in a past life at least according to my recurring dreams about it1

OK SO THEN WE ALSO HAVE BELLAMY SIDING WITH CLARKE AT EVERY TURN, OVER ECHO'S EXPLICIT OBJECTIONS AND WE HAVE HER NOTICINGGGGGG WE'RE HERE FOR THIS CONTENT

https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/185265380768/6x04-bec-scene-follow-up-with-6x05 JUST ONE EXAMPLE

HATE TO SEE IT 

SO WE HAVE BELLAMY CLEARLY SHOWING THAT HE'S HER LEADER - WHETHER HE MEANS TO BE OR NOT - WHICH COMES IN IN 7X01

Total aside but now I want a modern au where Bellamy doesn't know how to break up with Echo so he tries to ghost her while everyone around him is pulling their hair out

OH SHIT ONE SECOND I HAVE TO DO DUOLINGO SO I DON'T LOSE MY STREAK BRB

>Total aside but now I want a modern au where Bellamy doesn't know how to break up with Echo so he tries to ghost her while everyone around him is pulling their hair out ---- I love this, actually. WE SHALL HOLD YOUR SPOT

No one in this goddamn canon knows how to have an actual breakup conversation they only know how to die

CORRECT CHORUS

BECAUSE THESE TWO DUMBASSES CAN'T TALK TO EACH OTHER

Ironically Raven and Finn are the only ones who have had a half-normal breakup.

Will be back, partner is dramatically exclaiming that I don't love him anymore bc I won't go give him a goddamn hug bc the meta's too good

BOOM OK I'M BACK

SIDE NOTE BEFORE WE'RE BACK

GO ON

What language are you learning on Duolingo?

relearning spanish and then german german for work, spanish because i used to be fluent and i'm so bad now xp

This entire convo is a chaotic mess

We are a chaotic mess.

WELCOME TO THE HELLMOUTH, ----

Our ship is a chaotic mess.

It all tracks, honestly.

WE WOULD'VE ALL BEEN SO MUCH BETTER OFF IF JASPER HAD DESTROYED THE CHIP OOK SO MOVING ON NOW I FORGOT WHERE I LEFT OFF OH YEAH LEADER PERF SO OH YEAH I FORGOT TO ADD - 6 & 7 ARE ONE SINGULAR SEASON SO

This convo should totally be convered into a Masterclass session at the end. YES

WE'VE GOT A RUNNING THREAD OF ECHO BEING A FOLLOWER OF BELLAMY AND HER KNOWING IT

6/7 ARE ONE SEASON WE'RE HERE WE'RE LIVING

BUT BACK TO S6 SO WE HAVE BELLAMY BEING THE FIRST TO REALIZE THAT CLARKE WANS'T CLARKE AND WE HAVE THIS BEAUTIFUL MOMENT

I’m here and all of this is glorious

OH YEAH THERE'S ALSO THIS BUT I DIGRESS https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/618548726524510208/historyofbellarke-5x09-6x04-6x05 THE FIRST ONE HERE - https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/616075629201408000/just-some-clips-ofabout-bellamy-where-either HE'S WILLING TO RISK EVERYTHING EBCAUSE CLARKE MIGHT BE AT RISK  EVEN THOUGH THEY LITERALLY HAVE NO WHERE ELSE TO GO OH YEAH FUCKING MURPHY - I'LL GET BACK TO HIM ALL RIGHT SO THEN WE HAVE BELLAMY FIGURING IT OUT AND THE HORROR BLOOMING IN HIS SOUL AND THEN WE HAVE HIM LITERALLY WITH A ROOM DESTROYED EVERN THOUGH HE IS CHAINED UP LIKE SERIOUSLY HOW DID HE MANAGE THAT AND THEN TRY TO KILL RUSSELL THE SECOND HE COULD BECAUSE HE HURT CLARKE EVEN THOUGH, AGAIN, THAT'S THE ONLY WAY HE AND HIS PEOPLE COULD SURIVVE BUT WITHOUT CLARKE, HE'S NOT ALIVE. HE ONLY SURVIVES AND HOW DO WE KNOW THIS? BECAUSE HE FUCKING SAYS IT (implicitly)

I just came into this. I have nothing to add I just want to say I’m living for it

:heart:

Agreed, this conversation is giving meaning to my insomnia :joy:

https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/618973621000585216/just-a-reminder-that-bellamy-canonically-only

WHOLE F*ING THING ON SURVIVING VS LIVING AND THEN ONCE HE DECIDES THEY'RE GOING TO LIVE (AND LET RUSSELL LIVE)  BECAUSE IT'S WHAT CLARKE WOULD'VE WANTED, HE SAYS "WE SURVIVE" LOOKING LIKE THE SADDEST FUCKING PUPPY IN EXISTENCE AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FACT THAT WE HAD A WHOLE DAMN EPISODE OF A 13 EPISODE SEASON DEVOTED TO BELLAMY SUFFERING BECAUSE HIS WIFE DIED AGAIN 3 WEEKS AFTER SHE WAS RESURRECTED SUBTLE, JASON. SUBTLE. OK NOW BACK TO MY BELOVED COCKROACH MURPHY AND BELLAMY ARE ARGUABLY THE TWO CLOSEST NON-ROMANTIC (:upside_down:) PEOPLE ON THE SHIP THE RING RIGHT? OK WE'RE GOING WITH IT ANYWAY

Hmmm yes(I agreee) but also Clarke and Murphy have that understanding that transcends words?

THEY ARE THE CLOSEST ROMANCE WITHSTANDING ON THE SHIP

AND MURPHY, MY BELOVED MURPHY, HAS BEEN THERE FROM "I'LL CHOP HER HAND OFF" TO "OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK CLARKE IS UNCONSCIOUS AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO" TO "YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE HERE SAVING SOMEONE THEY CARE ABOUT"

BECAUSE BELLAMY DOES NOT EVEN KNOW ECHO'S ACTUAL NAME AND THEREFORE THEY ARE NOT CLOSE

LOL SO MURPHY AFTER 6 YEARS IS TRYING TO GET BELLAMY TO DO SOMETHING HE WANTS (WE'RE BACK IN SEASON 5 NOW, SORRY) AND HOW DOES HE DO THAT?

AND INVOLKES MOM'S NAME

BLESSED BE "WELL IF CLARKE WAS HERE" BELLAMY ESPLODES OK SO NOW WE HAVE MURPHY AGAIN WHO KNOWSSSS AND WHAT DOES HE SAY TO JOSIE? ABOUT BELLAMY

If Clarke is dead Bellamy will kill us all HE KNOWS

BAM ALSO, REFER BACK TO PREVIOUS GIFSET, SAME MURPHY "OH YEAH I'LL TRY TO HELP ECHO TOO" BECAUSE MURPHY KNOWSSSS OOK THAT'S ALL FOR MURPHY NOW SO WE HAVE BELLAMY "WE'RE GOING TO SURVIVE BECAUSE I CAN'T LIVE WITHJOUT CLARKE BUT I'M GOING TO ONCE AGAIN HONOR HER FUCKING MEMORY" UNTILLLLLL WHAT HAPPENS

lol @ Murphy having to remind Bell his gf exists hahahah UNTIL HIS SOUL REALIZES CLARKE IS ALIVE

BUT HOW DOES HE REALIZE THAT

BECAUSE YOU CAN'T CONVINCE ME HE KNEW IT WAS MORSE CODE BECAUSE OF EARTH SKILLS NO

HE KNEW IT WAS MORSE CODE BECAUSE HIS SOUL FUCKING KNEW HIS WIFE WAS ALIVE

Yesss

PLATONIC SOULMATE MY ASS JASON

Morse code is life

[okay rant over, continue Kate]

MILLER'S FACE WAS LIKE "YOU FUCKING WHAT MAN?"

(side note- i am getting alive in morse code on my wrist when covid clears) OK SO WE'RE BACK SO WE HAVE JOSIE TAPPING HER FINGERS

Oh I love that I have friend who has that tattoo

YES TAP TAP MILLER GOING WTF BELL GOING ALL GIDDY PUPPY WITH A BONE

WHICH MEANS BELLAMY HAD TO HAVE GONE BACK TO HIS FAMILY AND SAY "OK WE'RE GOING TO RESCUE MY DEAD WIFE. SHE'S ALIVE. IKNOW BECAUSE JOSIE WAS TAPPING HER FINGERS." AND THE FAMILY HAD TO GO "YEAH OK THAT MAKES SENSE."

AND NO ONE QUESTIONED IT BECAUSE THEY BEEN KNEW

Yessss

SO WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO? LIKE IT WAS EVEN A QUESTION. THEY'RE RESCUING CLARKE AND BY THEY'RE I MEAN HE BECAUSE HE DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THEM AT THE MOMENT SO HE'S LIKE "READY OR NOT, I'M RESCUING MY WIFE. BYEEEEE" AND JORDAN'S LIKE "WHAT ABOUT PRIYA?" AND EVERYONE'S LIKE ".... SORRY BRO. CLARKE. YOU WANTED HEART BELLAMY. YOU GOT HIM." SO HE GOES, LEAVING HIS FAMILY BEHIND WITH A BUNCH OF PSYCHOPATHIC MURDERERS WHO KNOW THAT BELLAMY IS GOING TO KILL THEIR DAUGHTER BUT HE'S JUST LIKE... BYE AND HE KNOWS, AND WE KNOW THAT HE KNOWS, BECAUSE JOSIE TAUNTS HIM ABOUT IT THE WHOLE TIME BECAUSE JOSIE IS THE AUDIENCE BASICALLY

JOSIE IS US BUT SLIGHTLY MORE PSYCHOTIC

ALL RIGHT SO SKIPPING AHEAD, SKIPPING AHEAD, YOU HAVE JOSIE'S WHOLE RUN DOWN OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP

TOGETHER

AND HIS VERY LONG PAUSE FOLLOWED BY "I WON'T LET YOU DIE"

EXHAUSTING

INSTEAD OF I FUCKING LOVE YOU BECAUSE CHORUS SO WE GET CLARKE BACK THROUGH SHEER FORCE OF BELLAMY'S WILL

>AND HIS VERY LONG PAUSE FOLLOWED BY "I WON'T LET YOU DIE" @kate (historyofbellarke) "I LOVE YOU, BITCH. I AIN'T EVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU, BITCH."

"I'LL SHAVE THE BEARD" SO WE HAVE CLARKE WHO GAVE UP LIVING BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT BELLAMY GAVE UP (REMEMBER, JOSIE SHOWING HER THE MEMORY OF BELLAMY SAYING WE'LL TAKE THE DEAL) AND THEN CLARKE COMING BACK TO LIFE BECAUSE BELLAMY WOULDN'T GIVE UP AND THEN WE HAVE OCTAVIA, MY BROTHER POISONED ME FOR HIS WIFE AND I STILL RAISED MY NIECE ON STORIES OF EPIC BELLARKE, BLAKE IN THE BACKGROUND BEING ALL OF US

>SO WE HAVE CLARKE WHO GAVE UP LIVING BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT BELLAMY GAVE UP (REMEMBER, JOSIE SHOWING HER THE MEMORY OF BELLAMY SAYING WE'LL TAKE THE DEAL) @kate (historyofbellarke) OMG I HAVE A SPEC ABOUT THIS I HAVE A SPEC ABOUT THIS BUT IMMA WAIT TIL WE'RE DONE TO POP INTO SPEC TO TALK IT OUT OKAY CONTINUE

i'm going to keep going, but have i done a pretty good job of convincing anyone who was wavering? because remember this is all canon.  i have done absolutely no spec-ing at all.

I'm very hype rn. Ngl.

lol

Could flip a tire for Bellarke rn kind of hype

OK SO NOW CLARKE IS ALIVE BUT OH FUCK, THE REST OF THE FAMILY IS IN TROUBLE WE LITERALLY HAD MURPHY, MY BLESSED MURPHY, SHOW UP TO GO "YO. YOUR GIRLFRIEND." AND BELLAMY GO https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/591463308117278720/716493560610029708/tumblr_pv4mkld49N1xsmktho1_500.gif SO OF COURSE, IT'S NOT TIME TO TALK BECAUSE CHORUS

DUMBASSES NO TALKIE

SO WE GET EVERYONE FIXED. A BUNCH OF UNNECESSARY PLOT SHIT HAPPENS. AND THEN BELLAMY LITERALLY PUSHES HIS GIRLFRIEND OUT OF THE WAY TO GO AND DO A DRAMATIC SUNSET REUNION WITH HIS WIFE AND THEN PLOT SHIT PLOT SHIT PLOT SHIT WE'RE IN S7 AM I MISSING S6 STUFF? PROBABLY BUT Y'ALL IT'S LITERALLY BEEN 4 WEEKS IN CANON AT THIS POINT AND I MISSED A LOT OF SHIT. SO Y'KNOW. OUR BABIES ARE TIRED N AND NOW WE'RE ALL GOOD RIGHT? JUST GONNA GO HAVE A QUICK MEETING WITH GABRIEL AND THEN GO BACK TO MY WIFE SO WE CAN TALK OVER SOME TEA THEN BAM, O GETS STABBED AND THEN WE HAVE . 4 EPISODES THAT HAPPEN OVER 2 DAYS BEFORE CLARKE'S LIKE "WELP. I'M THROWING MYSELF HEAD FIRST INTO A WORM HOLE TO GO GET MY HUSBAND AND HIS STUPID GIRLFRIEND." AND YOU HAVE EVERYONE ELSE GOING "I'M SORRY, DID YOU THINK ANYTHING ELSE WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?" AND FOLLOWING AND THE S6/7 WRITERS MOSTLY JUST CHOSE TO IGNORE THAT S4/5 WRITERS GAVE CLARKE A DAUGHTER BECAUSE, WELL, I DON'T BLAME THEM EVEN THOUGH I LOVE MADI SHE'S AN UNNECESSARY COMPLICATION SO HAND WAVING SHE'S FINE SO NOW WE'RE UP TO PRESENT

Fully convinced Madi was there to ensure Clarke didn't go fully insane on Earth and provide motive for that bitch slap scene from S5.

brb spilled beer

Oh, and to parent trip Bell/Clarke.

>brb spilled beer @kate (historyofbellarke) makes sense after the tea you're spilling on this channel

Someone really oughta document this convo for a later date. lol We will need to reference it before end of the season, bet. lol

blesss i do not deserve my partner he told me to go sit down and is cleaning it also i went to finish the last of the unspilled stuff and promptly spilled it down my chest so ALL RIGHT WHERE WERE WE OH YEAH AND BELLAMY FORGAVE HER BECAUSE MADI WAS LIKE "YO YOU'RE A PARENT TOO AND REMMEBER SHE STOOD BY YOU WHEN YOU PUT OCTAVIA ABOVE LITERALLY EVERYTHING" AND BELLAMY WAS LIKE "OH... SHIT." AND THEN SHE WAS LIKE "SHE CALLE DYOU EVERY DAY YOU DUMBFUCK" AND YOU HAVE THE PATENTED "OMG, DOES CLARKE HAVE FEELINGS FO RME TOO???" JAW DROP BUT NOW BACK TO PRESENT

(Now if someone will just fucking tell her that he did the equivalent grant gestureTM of the radio calls except w/ poison)

i didn't even include the fact that he fucking poisoned O, that diyoza referred to her as his girlfriend, etc etc etc OH AND AS TO WHY HBECHO ISN'T GOING TO BE A HTING ANYMORE BESIDES EVERYTHING I'VE SAID

FINN COLLINS THAT'S WHY

BASUCALLY YES

FINN COLLINS EXCEPT AT LEAST CLARKE KNEW HIS REAL NAME

THEY DID A LITERAL EXACT PARALLEL BETWEEN BELLAMY AND ECHO SPFEIHOi4ur YES LIKE IT'S LIKE THE WRITERS FOUND BESTOFBECHO AND WENT "FUCK, ARE WE NOT BEING OBVIOUS ENOUGH? TIME TO CALL IN ZACH MCGOWAN" ( THEY FUCKING GOT ZACH ON A PLANE FROM LA TO VANCOUVER TO JUST SAY "YOU DON'T LOVE HIM" LIKE I DON'T THINK PEOPLE REALIZE HOW INVOLVED OF A PROCESS IT IS TO GET AN ACTOR THERE - ESPECIALLY IN CANADA WHERE YOU HAVE TO BALANCE NON-CANADIAN WITH CANADIAN ACTORS OR YOU CAN'T SHOOT IN CANADA SO THIS AMERICAN HAD TO BE TAKEN INTO ACCOUNT FOR THE WHOLE SEASON FOR A 2 MINUTE APPERANCE BUT THE WRITERS WERE LIKE "YO HUGE NEON SIGN RIGHT HERE" AND THEN SHE CONTINUED ALL SEASON IN THAT VEIN UNTIL 7X05 WHEN SHE BROKEEEEE OVER HIS "DEATH"

BECAUSE HER SOUL DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS ALIVE LIKE BELL DID CLARKE

AND DID THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING BELLAMY DID WHEN HE FOUND OUT CLARKE WAS ALIVE

And also as mentioned, she's a shit spy.

BECAUSE THE WRITERS ARE LIKE "CAN WE MAKE IT MORE OBVIOUS? I'M NOT SURE HOW!" so now we're at present day and here's a bit of crack spec-ing

THANKS FOR THIS LONG ASS META !!

YOU ARE WELCOME once again if i put that amount of effort into my dissertation, i'd be a phd with a published book or 3

This was a joy to read An utter joy This reaffirmed all my beliefs and got rid of all doubts I had

https://tenor.com/view/about-to-ugly-cry-ugly-cry-emotional-sensitive-crying-gif-8033343 i aim to please so now we have that O/B scene so we as the audience know something is off. bellamy was dragged sobbing and unconscious by his captors to suddenly being awake, fine, and killing a bunch of trained soldiers and holding someone hostage with his left hand. so then you have O, noticing something isn't quite right, casually bringing up clarke's name clarke. fucking. griffin. who bellamy had JUST brought back from the dead after learning she was alive and he's just... calm? about O possibly doing something with these psychos that's related to clarke? HE JUST POISONED HIS SISTER LIKE A WEEK AGO TO SAVE CLARKE'S LIFE i cannot stress this enough. bellamy fucking blake would not just go "huh?" when O, his sister that he's barely tolerating, goes "i'll tell you, you psychotic cultists, everything about my sister-in-law" and that's it. that's where i'm at s6 was about bellamy literally pulling clarke back from death s7 will be about clarke literally crossing time and space to get back to bellamy THIS IS AN EPIC FUCKING LOVE STORY AND ANYONE WHO THINKS OTHERWISE IS WRONG AND NOW I'M GOING TO TAKEA . SHOWER BECAUSE I SPILLED BEER ON MYSELF BUT I WILL BE BACK also i didn't think iw as drunk but then i reread that and started crying so it's definitely shower time

[impractical-au]

Impractical Ch. 2

<<Chapter 1 An ALiPverse Story Note: Parts of the beginning have been revealed in the Origins stories but this is the official story! You can read those to get an idea of what’s going on but be wary of spoilers! Chapter 2

Roman sat on the couch of his shared apartment, hunched over with his mask in his hands. It was crudely made with his limited knowledge and a few hours online searching, but he was proud of it. He ran his thumb over a part of the border that held on a piece of gold ribbon that was hanging on by hot glue. It was uncomfortable to wear but it was his. It’s what made him Prince Charging. It’s what allowed him to run around and help people as he had always dreamed.

It did nothing against his best friend who had discovered his secret anyway. He knew he had to be careful around Patton, but his friend had listened to him as he shamefully hung his head and admitted to running into danger on a daily basis. To his surprise, Patton had admitted to knowing about it before they had moved in together before walking off to make them some tea so they could talk.

 “Okay!” Patton walked in with two mugs in his hands, eyes focused on them so he didn’t spill either as he walked. “Got the tea ready! Just how you like it, here you go.” “Thanks, Pat,” Roman took the mug and let the warmth soak into his hands. He had removed his gloves just before his mask and now was grateful he had done so. He looked into the dark liquid at his poor reflection. He never really looked at himself as Prince, usually throwing on the costume as quickly as he could for fear of being caught. 

 He felt Patton take a seat next to him with his mug in his hands. “Roman?” He glanced up and noticed Patton’s expression, wondering what thoughts were running through his friend’s head. “You okay?”

 “I’m fine. You’re, uh, taking this a bit better than I had expected, I suppose…”

 He felt a weight lifted as Patton smiled before looking down at his mug. “Yeah, well, I did want to talk to you about it first. You know, calmly…” Patton turned toward the doorway to the kitchen. “I apologize, I didn’t mean to just drop that on you.”

 Roman placed his mug on the table atop one of Patton’s punny coasters and shook his head. “No, no! It’s fine! You were worried for me, I can understand that.” He reached over and placed his hand on Patton’s knee. “I appreciate how accepting and caring you’ve been.”

 Patton’s eyes flickered to the doorway again before turning back to his tea. “There’s something I have to share with you, Ro.”

 “What is it?”

 Patton looked at the doorway as footsteps approached. Hugging himself close was someone who looked exactly like Patton wearing the same outfit. He smiled and waved a bit before turning his gaze to the floor. “Hi,” he spoke softly as if worried his voice would give out on him.

 “You have a twin?” Roman looked between the two before Patton shook his head. “Am I missing something?”

 “Roman,” Patton placed his mug down next to Roman’s and turned toward him. “This is Two. He’s my… duplicate? I’ve called them my Pals. I can make them… from myself.” Patton looked over at Roman and shrugged. “I have powers too?”

 Roman stared at Two before he started to smile. “Patton, this is amazing!” Roman shot up from his spot on the couch and tugged on Patton’s arm, pulling him up as well. “You have powers! We have powers!” Patton chuckled as Roman started bouncing around. “Yes, I do! I was trying to plan on how I wanted to tell you but I didn’t want to before you told me first. I didn’t want to pressure you into revealing your secret.” Roman started giggling and Patton began bouncing with him. “You seem excited!”

 Roman gasped and stopped grabbing Patton by his shoulders and smiling. “Become a hero with me!”

 “What?!”

 ---

 “-new about the newest hero in town, the Vigilante, has spread since the recent shooting downtown.”

 “That’s not what I said!” The hooded figure threw his hands in the air, gripping the remote as the local news prattled on about the same things they’ve been repeating every hour. However, they played the clip of him calling himself The Vigilant and then said his name wrong.

 He wasn’t a vigilante! He was vigilant! Determined and stubborn to keep the city safe. He swooped in and saved the beloved hero Prince who was in danger! He deserved to at least have his name said correctly!

 “Virgil!” The figure on the couch jumped and fumbled the remote before quickly changing the channel. “You want anything special for dinner?”

 Virgil looked over the back of the couch to his father who was watching the tv carefully with a frown. “I’m fine, dad. Whatever you want.”

 His father looked at him with a pout. “My little hero goes and saves the day and he doesn’t want anything special for dinner?”

Virgil couldn’t hold back the wince that spread across his face. Found out so easily. “You know about that?”

 “Hmm,” His father stroked the whiskers on his chin. “A mysterious hero with the power to ‘teleport’,” his father even dared to use air quotes. “Suddenly appears dressed with a dark purple aesthetic? Must have nothing to do with my anxious son with a similar style and the ability to stop time and move around who reads far too many comic books. Nope, no connection.” Virgil pulled his hood down over his face and turned away. “Come on, now. Be glad I’m not freaking out over the fact that the thief had a gun.”

 “I’m surprised you’re not, honestly.” Virgil peeked up from his hood. “You worry as much as I do.”

 “I’m honestly trying not to think about it. Hasn’t quite sunken in yet.”

 “I’ll take advantage of your good mood, then.” Virgil turned and leaned his arms on the back of the couch. “Can we have Chinese for dinner?”

 “I know how to cook!” Virgil raised a brow at his father’s statement. “Come on, Virgil!”

 “Come on, James!” Virgil grinned as he spoke his father’s name. “Chinese! Besides, you’ll make me wash the dishes when you’re done ruining dinner anyway.”

 With a sigh, he watched his father turn around and pat his pockets down for his phone. “The usual?”

 “You know it.” Virgil spun back around and turned back to the news, watching clips of him and the Prince once more with a smile on his face. It was terrifying at the moment but right now? He had no regrets for what he did.

 ---

 “Come on, Pat!” Roman followed Patton down the sidewalk like a lost puppy. “Please?! We could do so much together!”

 “No, Roman. I’m glad you’re helping people but it’s just not for me! What good could I do?” Patton kept marching toward the bus stop, gripping the strap to his messenger bag over his shoulder. “Besides, I have to go to work!”

 “You mean you have to go flirt with that guy on your route?” Patton flushed and ducked his head, ignoring his best friend as he trailed along. “At least tell me about him! When are you going to ask him out?”

 “He’s not interested. I’m not even sure if he’s gay or anything.”

 “Excuses!”

 Patton sighed and finally stopped walking, turning to find Roman right on his trail. “Look, I like him, but this isn’t some romance movie. We’re just friends!” He shuffled his feet a bit and looked away. “Actually, I’m not sure if he even sees me as a friend. We just talk on the bus.”

 “You said he was cute and had the same glasses and liked mystery novels!” Roman pouted. “Sounds like a rom-com to me! Why not at least try to bring it up? Try to see if he’s even interested?”

 “I’m sure he’s not interested in me. He might not be single!”

Roman put an arm around Patton and started walking toward the bus stop once more. “Well good thing you have me!  Your personal wingman!”

 “Roman, no.” Patton shrugged the arm off but kept walking. “I appreciate it, I do! But I just want to keep this a friendship right now. Maybe, if I think I have a chance, you can help.”

 Roman sighed heavily through his nose as they approached the stop. “Fine, but you read a book for this nerd. I think you’re close enough.”

 “Hey! Agatha Christie is worth it! It’s such a good book, Ro! I can’t wait to see how it ends!” Roman watched as Patton’s face lit up. “Now Logan and I are reading through the books to talk about them together! It’s great.”

 “As long as you’re happy, I won’t interfere.” Roman watched his best friend prattle on about his crush and the topics they talk about until he saw the bus pull up to the stop. “Have a good day at work, Pat. I’ll see you tonight.”

 “See ya, Ro!”

 Patton got on and swiped his card before heading to the area he normally sat in, waiting excitedly for the stop Logan would hop on. 

 Logan. He was younger than Patton and worked at a bookstore, which was a surprise. He didn’t seem much like a people person, but he loved books! Patton could relate to that. Although a job at the library was originally his mother’s idea, it wasn’t one Patton was upset by.

 When Logan’s stop came, Patton perked up and waited. After the exchange of people, he slouched in his seat defeated. Logan didn’t work today. How had he forgotten that? It was Friday and Patton didn’t work over the weekend so he wouldn’t see him then either. When did he say he worked next. Tuesday?

 Tuesday. Patton could wait a few more days until then. He pulled out a book from his bag, The Murder of Roger Ackroyd. Logan had said it was his favorite and Patton had signed it out immediately. He was still at the beginning and already hooked. He could finish it by Tuesday and then he could talk to Logan all about it!

 Patton’s heart fluttered as he flipped open to his bookmark and kept himself busy for the rest of his ride.

 ---

 “This just in! The Vigilante has made another appearance downtown to help the Prince! Wait, it looks like the Prince is… attacking him? Perhaps the Vigilante isn’t as much of a hero as he had thought!”

 “Listen here, miscreant! I’m grateful you helped me the other day but we are rivals from here on out!”

 “Are you kidding me, Princey?! I just want to help!”

 Logan watched the broadcast with great interest, eying the new ‘hero’ as he bickered with the Prince. “Interesting.” He smirked and stood from his couch. “I’m going to need a closer look at these two and I have just the idea on how to do it.” -- Taglist: @arandompasserby @waywordwriter

[prettyboymichaels-ao3]

Rewind, Rewire, Reword - Chapter 2: An Idling Car Is Bound To Overheat Eventually (Pt. 1)

Preparations are made.

(Bret Hart/Shawn Michaels ABO AU; NOT Kayfabe Compliant; Words: ~2.5k; Rating: M; Trigger warning/s, tag list, and chapter under the cut!)

(Prev: [x]; First [x])

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tw for: references to attempted sexual assault in the first paragraph

tag list: @track12to13​, @piratewithvigor​, @sinderellanightwolf​. tell me if you want to be tagged for any future chapters!

-

They bickered the rest of the way to the hotel, which, thanks to their driver and his utter disregard for speed limits and traffic signals, and his seeming intuition on whether a cop was close by or not, was only around ten minutes. This was officially the longest they’d gone without saying something cutting to one another, without even raising their voices, in… months, at this point. It was… well, it was nice. It was even nicer pretending there was nothing going on outside of that little bubble, that they weren’t going to be having a title match in a week and a half, that they hadn’t fallen out with one another in the months leading up to the match in the first place, that Bret hadn’t basically discovered Shawn was an omega and helped fight off two attempted rapists at the same time a little while ago, that Bret wasn’t going to be staying with Shawn through his heat in a few short hours. Ignorance was fucking bliss.

Bret threw several more twenties at the cabbie when they were finally dropped off, to the man’s obvious glee, and helped Shawn get the jacket he still had in his hands settled over his shoulders instead. Shawn only gave a cursory protest about getting coddled when he did so, but tugged it tight around himself regardless, popping the collar so he could still scent it when they entered the lobby. It was late enough that they were the only ones present, the front desk receptionist probably using the time to do something more productive than sit and greet no one, so they had a straight-shot to the elevators, which were equally empty. All blessings in disguise; they both slumped a little with relief once the doors closed behind them. The thought of getting recognized and having to explain why the two of them smelt like pre-heat pheromones was enough to make his stomach roll, let alone Shawn’s.

They hit he and Owen’s room first, so Bret wouldn’t have to leave for anything once they were settled in Shawn’s room. Shawn didn’t come all the way in, just stood leaning against the closed door as Bret shoved whatever he’d managed to unpack (his toothbrush and toothpaste, mainly) back into his luggage to carry out with him. He hadn’t been able to wash his exercise gear yet today, and he had a feeling he wasn’t going to be able to any time soon, but it wasn’t like he could do anything about it now, so he just kept them tightly tied away in their drawstring bag. Hopefully they wouldn’t stink up the rest of his clothes in the meantime.

“You know you can still back out of this, right?” he heard Shawn say, and he looked up from the note he was writing Owen to find him shifting on his feet and rubbing his arms. He looked… not uncomfortable, but uneasy, and Bret felt a jolt down his spine.

“Is this your way of telling me I’m crossing a line?” he asked, suddenly worried he’d forced Shawn’s hand. I mean, he hadn’t really given him a choice, had he? Had Shawn even agreed to this–?

“Stop,” Shawn said, suddenly a lot closer and flicking his forehead to snap him out of what was sure to quickly become a downward spiral otherwise. Bret winced, rubbing the offending skin and glaring at the perpetrator, who crossed his arms at him. “Stop freaking out. I’m actually asking if you’re sure you wanna do this, not trying to tell you I changed my mind.”

Bret huffed and lowered his hand. “Well I haven’t either.”

“Good.”

“Great.”

“Awesome.”

A moment of silence.

“But are you sure?”

“Shawn,” Bret groaned, turning his back on him to finish scribbling his note for Owen. “I mean what I say, and I’m saying I’m gonna help you. Okay?” Shawn had his head tipped back, staring at the ceiling like it might have some answers when Bret turned back around, note in hand. “Okay?” he repeated, nudging him with his elbow, and only moved to place the note on Owen’s bed when Shawn bit out a short “fine”.

Another few moments of quiet, during which Bret returned to his suitcase. “I’m just saying–”

“Well stop saying it.” That earned him a scowl, one he gave right back. “I know what I’m getting myself into, alright? I’m not going into this blind, I’m not some poor, hapless beta who’s gonna freak out the first time he sees some slick, I know you’re gonna be out of it, I know you’re probably gonna do some things and say some shit you’re gonna regret when you’re in your right mind again. We just said we’re both on board with this, so stop trying to change my mind.” He paused, and watched Shawn work his jaw for a moment, refusing to look at him. “And I learn quickly, so even though I don’t know what the fuck Levesque and Nash do when they’re here, you can’t use that as an excuse, either.”

Shawn snorted, though his shoulders dropped when he did, looking somewhat more at ease, now. Maybe it was finally getting through his thick skull that Bret was serious about this. “They can’t do much. I can’t stand Hunter’s scent when my nose is like this, and he can’t stand mine, and Kev has to use grade-A scent salts just to get me to drink something, and then he has to leave for another few hours. Scott’s not much better.” His tone went flat, then. “And having an alpha nearby always makes… everything worse.”

That sounded like shit help, honestly, but… what else could they do? The whole point of going through a hormone cycle when you were unmated was to attract a mate, and if you were an alpha trying to take care of an in-heat omega without mating them… well. It was a miracle they’d come up with a working system at all. Bret, instead of acknowledging the reluctant, paper thin strand of respect this information had just given him for Hall and Nash, threw his arms out, then gestured pointedly to himself. “Beta,” he enunciated. “Remember?”

Shawn rolled his eyes, but pushed at him to turn him back to his suitcase. “Yeah, yeah, Hitman, you’re a big bad beta, we get it. Now get that thing off the bed, I’m stealing your pillows and sheets.”

That made him pause, and he raised his head to furrow his eyebrows at him.

Shawn blinked right back. “What?”

“Why do you need my–?”

“I’m making a nest, dipshit. In heat, remember?” he said, only a little mocking. Bret closed his eyes for a second before going back to zipping his suitcase shut, idly wondering if Shawn was going to stay this mouthy the next three days. Probably, with his luck, especially if Shawn usually didn’t have anyone around to hear him.

…That thought made his exasperation leave him on his next exhale, and he watched as Shawn stripped the mattress of its comforter, sheets, and pillows as soon as he removed his suitcase. He shoved the pillows at him once he’d done so, since he had a free hand and could tuck them under his arm to lock the door behind them.

Shawn’s room was the next floor up, as, according to him, when Bret had asked, he hadn’t been able to book a cycle suite on such short notice, with his heat having come a week early. “It happens,” he’d said as he bent to dig his room key out of his boot. “I’ll probably just have to rent out another room until they flush this one out.” Using the light from the hallway to see after finally getting the door open, Shawn immediately dumped his gathered hoard on top of the single bed the room housed before crouching to root around in his suitcase where it lay open on the floor, leaving Bret to shut and lock the door behind them. He kicked his shoes off, navigated over by what little light was coming in through the windows to drop the pillows he’d been given on top of the sheets and comforter Shawn had been carrying, placed his luggage down next to Shawn’s, and flicked the bedside lamp on to cast a yellow glow over most of the room in the time it took for Shawn to re-emerge with a victorious “a-ha!” from his suitcase. He brandished the hot water bottle and corded heating pad he’d fished from the depths of his clothing and toiletries like trophies, setting them down on the same bedside table as the lamp and then turning on his heel for the kitchen nook attached to the room.

Bret watched him grab two waters from the fridge and come back to place them next to the lamp before pushing the things they’d brought from Bret’s room to the foot of the bed so he could strip this mattress, too. “Aren’t I supposed to be doing all this?” Bret asked, feeling more than a little useless just standing there while Shawn did all the work. “Isn’t that why I’m here?”

Shawn laughed a little, his movements quick and efficient, clearly motions he was familiar with. “If you wanna be useful, you can turn the TV on and give us some background noise. I’ve still got a few hours before I’m laid up – ha, laid up.” The grin he shot Bret after that shitty joke was horribly smug, and Bret just shook his head. “I’m used to doing all this, anyway. Same routine, different state, all that shit. Keeps my hands busy.”

This did not inspire much confidence, but he couldn’t find a reason to argue that wouldn’t get Shawn’s hackles up, so he just did as he was told, flicking through the channels for something that wasn’t infomercials or porn, which, at almost midnight in a hotel room in Anaheim, California, was easier said than done. He was still looking when Shawn told him he was taking a shower, “Gotta get ‘em in while I can,” and it took several more minutes for him to settle on some old black and white channel. He didn’t recognize the film, but it had sound, at least, and he stood back up with a roll of his shoulders, peering at what Shawn’d done to the bed as he approached his own suitcase. One of the comforters was hiding most of his handy work, with the other acting as a barrier between that and the surface of the mattress, but the divot in the middle was clear to see, with two of the pillows placed at the head and the other two against the inner sides. His jacket, the one Shawn hadn’t let go of since he’d taken it, was laid over the first two pillows, right where Shawn’s head would lay once he climbed into the nest. That thing was gonna have Shawn’s scent burned into it by the time his heat was over.

He was just starting to dig some sleepwear out of his luggage when the bathroom door opened and released a cloud of steam and a red, toweled Shawn into the room, carrying several more towels in his arms and his discarded clothes in a plastic zip-lock bag that Bret must not’ve seen him bring in with him. “There’s one left,” he told him, tossing the bag in the general direction of his suitcase before dumping the towels onto the bed and starting to arrange them to his specifications. “You using it now?

He’d rinsed off after training earlier, but taking an actual shower definitely wasn’t the worst idea in the world. He still felt a little gritty, and, while Shawn hadn’t mentioned it, he was sure those alphas’ scents were still clinging to his skin like fleas, even after using those wet wipes. “Why not,” he said, pulling out a pair of sweats and a shirt. “You good out here?”

Shawn gave a distracted hum, narrowing his eyes at the towels and starting to move them again, and Bret escaped into the humidity of the bathroom before Shawn decided to drag him into that.

He was in and out in only a few minutes, not having bothered to wash his hair and paying special attention to his hands and face to make sure any offending scents were truly dead and gone. He was probably pink, now, from how hard he’d scrubbed, but, better to be a little tender than a walking, talking reminder of the night’s events.

When he left the bathroom, shutting the light off after him with his towel around his neck and his discarded clothes in his arms, Shawn was sitting cross-legged in the center of his nest in nothing but his towel, taking sips from one of the water bottles he’d pulled from the fridge. Half of it was gone already. He’d also managed to drag the room’s lone armchair from its original resting place to a spot directly beside the bed; no doubt, this was where Bret was meant to sleep in lieu of the bed being otherwise occupied. “I didn’t know if you wanted to sleep there or the floor,” he heard Shawn say, and looked away from the chair to find him wearing a rather sheepish expression. “There’re more pillows and blankets in the closet” —He gestured.— “but you’re gonna wind up with a helluva neck ache either way. Oh, and here.”

He held out another zip-lock bag, which Bret took without thinking. He assumed he was meant to be putting his clothes in it, something Shawn confirmed when he gave him a curious look; “I know you can’t smell it, but they’re covered in pre-heat pheromones. You put ‘em in with the rest of your clothes, everything’s gonna smell like that.” He nodded to the bag. “That should keep it contained for now, but you’re gonna have to wash those and whatever other clothes you wear here before actually putting them back in your suitcase.”

Bret hummed. It made sense, he supposed; Shawn was right, he couldn’t smell anything, but Shawn had been practically plastered to his side for almost half an hour, pumping out pheromones all the while. The fabric of his other clothes would pick them up if he just shoved these ones into his suitcase without a protective barrier between them, and he could only imagine the reactions he’d get if he started walking around smelling like that. So, he did as he was told, and tossed the now-full, closed bag into his suitcase before kicking it shut, collapsing into the chair and folding his towel. “Any other words of wisdom?” he asked dryly, earning a chuckle before Shawn downed the rest of the bottle, recapped it, and exchanged it for the full one.

“You might wanna wash all your clothes when you leave anyway,” he replied, cracking the lid. “Cycle pheromones sink into everything.”

Bret hummed again, filing the advice away for later, then squinted at the TV. “D’you know what this’s about?”

“Not a clue,” Shawn said brightly, raising the bottle to his lips. “But I think it’s a musical.”

Bret sighed to the sound of Shawn’s snickers. “Great.”

Shawn didn’t wind up passing out for another half hour or so, long enough for Bret to say with certainty that he was not a fan of the film he’d put on at all. It was with not insignificant enthusiasm that he shut the whole system off once he heard Shawn start snoring, as quiet as they were compared to Jim’s, and the lamp was soon to follow, plunging the room into a darkness only broken by the city lights that managed to seep through the curtains. He sank back into the armchair with another sigh, trying to get comfortable enough to fall asleep himself.

[amphtaminedreams]

The Women of Euphoria and Personal Style: Lookbook no.8

Hi to anyone reading,

I hope you’re well considering everything going on! It feels weird to want to talk about fashion or TV shows or red carpets or whatever when 90% of my Google searches are COVID-19 related but there you go. It’s all about trying to power through as normal (minus the social interaction) and pretend the world isn’t ending, right? Queue nervous laughter.

And as if things aren't shitty enough, production of season 2 of Euphoria has been postponed until further notice. 

Okay, in the grand scheme of things, having to wait a bit longer for a TV show isn’t catastrophic but it does just about sum up the transition from 2019 to 2020 thus far that after HBO redeemed itself by broadcasting Euphoria in the summer following an ending to Game of Thrones that has made the whole series unrewatchable, the glimmer of hope in me reignited by the prospect of series 2 this year has been quickly dashed. 2021, I’m rooting for you, because it doesn’t seem like things are getting better any time soon, and in all seriousness, I think everyone needs a break from the collective suffering of the last few months.

For me (and undoubtedly for many others if the hundreds of makeup looks and styling videos are anything to go by), Euphoria’s effect on the world of fashion and beauty is unprecedented. I really can’t recall a TV show in living memory that has had as much of an impact on the way young people dress. I mean, this might partially be because the style of the characters already kind of caters to and draws from the target audience but also, aside from Blair Waldorf did anybody really give THAT much of a fuck about what anybody in Gossip Girl wore?

The draw of the styling on Euphoria is that it has something for everyone. The style of each of the main girls, Rue, Kat, Maddy, Jules and Cassie, all of whom I’ve attempted (emphasis on attempted!) to base (emphasis on base!) outfits around, is varied and distinctive but still so current and realistic at the same time. It’s also consistent; even if you don’t own the specific pieces worn by any of them, similar shapes and details reoccur enough in different looks throughout the series that it’s not hard to create an outfit which matches your favourite character’s overall vibe without buying anything new. That’s kinda what I have attempted to do here and without further ado, I’m gonna get on with it! First up:

Jules (Played by Hunter Schafer)

When it comes to whose style is the most experimental, Jules is the obvious answer. A lot of her outfits are what I imagine a cartoonist in the near-distant future will envision their cool girl protagonist wearing. Whilst her ensembles are generally whimsical and girly for the most part, there’s usually a few slightly punk-ish finishing touches thrown in there too be it through chunky shoes or bold makeup or that incredible mesh trench coat she wears in the series finale with the trans symbol on the back which, honestly, deserves a moment of silence. 

There are definitely nods to current fashion trends sprinkled throughout her wardrobe too. I'm not going to lie, despite someone at work seemingly thinking it was an insult to tell me I look like someone who does (I still don’t know but this person has a Rick and Morty keyring so I don’t give it too much weight), I’ve never watched any anime. BUT, that being said, given the abundance of anime screenshots posted by all these aesthetic oriented Instagram and Tumblr moodboard accounts, I have a vague idea of what some of the more iconic characters look like and a lot of Jules’ looks seem to be very much modelled after or at least inspired by them. In a way, I see a lot of her looks as a blend between modern “e-girl”, Y2K skater chick (yes, I’m thinking early Avril Lavigne), and 2013 Tumblr “hipster” a la 2014 Joanna Kutcha and Charlie Barker, and though on paper that sounds like a nightmare combination, it works. I know-if that sentence were a Depop description I would’ve just gained 30 followers.

When it comes to my own interpretation of Jules’ style, it’s definitely something I like to channel when I’m putting together a proper OUTFIT outfit. Meaning an outfit I actually put effort into and thus will most likely want to get a good photo in, lol. The way her character dresses is almost quite Christopher Kane in that it’s fresh and unusual but still understated enough that I wouldn’t walk into a room wearing any of these feeling like I’m doing a Rick Owens runway.

I’m not TOO far out of my comfort zone but still at the same time, I’d be trying something new and maybe a little bit more zany than I'm used to. As for noting where any of these pieces are from, only a few have been bought in the last 6 months, but from left to right clockwise I have marked out those that have in case they’re still available (though be wary of the fact that it seems a lot of online clothes stores are still forcing warehouse employees to work in close confines at the moment and so perhaps aren’t operating the most ethically):

LOOK 1

Corset-Jaded London

Shoes-TK Maxx

LOOK 2

Dress-Motel Rocks

Boots-Koi Vegan Footwear

LOOK 3

Dress-Jaded London

LOOK 4

Dress-Jaded London

Beret-Ebay

LOOK 5

Beret-Ebay

LOOK 6

Mesh Top-Depop

Hair Clips-Urban Outfitters

Kat (Played by Barbie Ferreira) 

Eurgh, Kat. 

I LOVE THIS BITCH.

If I had to choose my favourite character in the show, it would be a very close toss-up between her and Rue, and though I think Rue might just about nab the top spot for her relatability factor, Kat is the girl I want to be or wish that I had been when I was at school. I mean, there’s definitely an argument to be made in that a lot of what she’s doing with her cam work could be seen as a means of validation (Sam Levinson has basically said everyone on the show has some kind of an unhealthy coping mechanism and I would guess due to the circumstances in which her cam girl career was borne and the fact she’s underage, this would be hers) but I do think in other ways we really see Kat reclaim her power and recognise herself for the smart, capable, gorgeous woman that she is. Honestly, the definition of divine feminine energy, and I would completely let Barbie Ferreira/basically Kat if she was also actually 23 dominate me.

Plus! Her! Style! Is! The! Bomb! Definitely the easiest character to base looks around because if I’m totally honest Kat’s energy is pretty much just what I want to emulate in every day life. 

It’s either pieces that are typically feminine, cutesy, and even slightly preppy at times drenched in everything grunge OR vice versa where you have something semi-gothic and then add a colourful, more playful touch in there that harks back to the beginning of the series before Kat had began to explore her identity and sexuality and dressed slightly more Forever 21.

I’d say, not yet with my whole chest, that on a good day the outfits I put together when making an effort aren’t too far off something Kat would wear, minus the more overtly BDSM touches; if wearing a ring choker in London is enough to get me a creepy comment from a gross middle aged shopkeeper (because I apparently forfeited my right not to be perved on when I decided to buy a bottle of Oasis summer fruits), then you can only imagine the kind of looks wearing a full-on harness would get in my conservative OAP dominated hometown. Not the most doable right now, especially considering the only time I get out is to work and to go for a run. The chafing I could deal with but the horrified glares of pensioners whose M&S prawn mayo sandwiches I’ve ruined by simply being in their eyesight not so much.

LOOK 1-

Corset-Urban Outfitters

LOOK 2-

Bodysuit-Depop

Skirt-Zara

Harness-Ebay

LOOK 3-

Co-ord-Depop

Lace-up Corset-Missguided

LOOK 4-

Dress-Vintage

LOOK 5-

Belt-Ebay

LOOK 6-

Coat-Topshop

Dress-Jaded London

LOOK 7-

Fishnet Top-Ebay

Skirt-Urban Outfitters

Maddy (Played by Alexa Demie)

Not gonna lie, I was kind of scared to do Maddy. I’m scared to be posting this, lol! Alexa Demie has played this character for a single season and she’s already one of the most iconic women to grace our screens in years. This is a huge undertaking and I don’t have the bank balance or the body confidence (lmao) to raid IAmGia. 

And this is where I want to stress: THESE ARE NOT OUTFIT RECREATIONS. THESE ARE INSPIRED BY. I HAVE ADDED ELEMENTS OF MY OWN STYLE INTO THEM. PLEASE DON’T DRAG ME. I KNOW, I’M NOT ALEXA DEMIE. I WOULD NEVER ASSUME TO BE ALEXA DEMIE. I’M NOT ABOUT TO TAKE THE LORD’S NAME IN VAIN LIKE THAT. So now we’ve got that out the way (wipes bead of sweat off forehead), let’s continue. 

Everything about Maddy Perez is extra. She has very much been established as a centre of attention character, and her outfits are a key part of that. They’re daring, they’re hyper-feminine, and they are always glamorous. We’re told that she competed in beauty pageants when she was younger and it’s clear that level of excess and coordination and glitz and all-round-boujeeness wormed its way into her DNA during that time. Even the “depression” outfit she wears to school following Nate becoming violent at the fair is costume-like, a 2019 Bratz doll Off-White street style collaboration.

Do you know how HARD I had to try to be HOT!? For these photos. Alexa Demie is one of those blessed women who doesn’t have to try at all, and that translates into the character completely. At any given moment, Maddy could add or remove one item or clothing and be let straight into the VIP section of a club, and that, honestly, is inspiring to us all in these dark times. 

One thing I tried to keep in mind is that she always looks polished and coordinated, I.E the kind of look I would prepare for a night out is something Maddy would wear on an average day. Co-ords and delicate prints seem to be more subtle wardrobe staples along with mesh and PVC and glitter and feathers and fur and basically anything that toes the line between expensive looking and tacky. Yes, I am aware we may toe different sides of that line but please let me stay delusional and believe that’s not the case for 5 minutes. Much appreciated xoxo

LOOK 1-

Bodysuit-Jaded London

LOOK 2-

Bralette-Depop

LOOK 3-

Co-ord Suit-Boohoo

Bodysuit-Boohoo

LOOK 4-

Dress-Motel Rocks

Shoes-Schuh

LOOK 5-

Bodysuit-Zaful

Trousers-Depop

Coat-Topshop

LOOK 6-

Dress-Zaful

Belt-Zaful

LOOK 7-

Top-Jaded London

Hair Clips-H&M

Rue (Played by Zendaya Coleman)

I have a complicated relationship with Rue as a character. When I started season 1 of Euphoria, I was like “Oh my god, this girl is the worst. Jesus, she’s so negative and draining and willingly self-destructive and-”

Then, oh my god is this what it’s like to live with me!?

I will say, to my own credit, that I don’t think I've ever been quite as hard to deal with as Rue (a lot less smashing stuff up and a lot more moping), and to HER credit, by the end of the season we come to realise she’s been through a fucking lot and so it makes sense, but wow. I don’t think I have ever seen a teen show handle drug abuse and mental illness in such a brutal way. It’s quite a talent to be able to show a character cause so much pain to those closest to them and yet do so through a sympathetic lens. And issues aside, whether it’s her occasional social awkwardness or her relationship with her family or watching bloody Love Island (still quite surreal to see Zendaya Coleman witnessing the Amy/Curtis drama unfold), Rue is just my favourite character to follow. 

Her style, though. AH. The thing is, I can hardly drag it, because it’s pretty much what I wear when I’m moping about the house-or just any time I can get away with it to be honest-to a T. I want to stay true to character, but that being said, creating a “Seth Rogen”-esque outfit that’s worth posting on here is difficult. So, with the same kind of artistic license that had me wearing berets whilst cosplaying Maddy Perez, here is the best I could do:

I know, I know, it’s probably too much colour and jewellery for Rue but this is as toned down as I could do and I tried to stick with the key silhouettes we see from her throughout the season; I mean, I can’t see her wearing leopard print but the structure of the coat in outfit 1 is very similar to the one seen in Shook Ones pt.II. I think the bottom line when it comes to her character is keeping things effortless and not overly-feminine; you want to mix street style, athleisure and your dad’s wardrobe favourites like your life depends on it. Plus messy hair and smudged makeup, both of which I’ve already got down according to the completely inappropriate number of customers who’ve asked if I'm tired at work so thanks for that guys, and glitter tears. Lots and lots of glitter tears.

OUTFIT 1-

Dungarees-Vintage

OUTFIT 2-

Trousers-Depop

Cardigan-Urban Outfitters

OUTFIT 5-

Beanie-Depop

OUTFIT 6-

Shirt-Boohoo Man

Sports Bra-TK Maxx

Trousers-Urban Outfitters

OUTFIT 7-

Shirt-Jaded London

Cassie (Played by Sydney Sweeney)

Style-wise, Cassie is a hard one. When putting outfits for her character together, I found myself gravitating towards a direction that’s probably a bit too bohemian for her character, under the guidance of loose terms like “girl-next-door”, “floaty”, “delicate”, you get the idea. She definitely feels the least fully-realised in terms of all the main girls and I think it’s fair to say she’s probably got a bit of self-discovery to do. Most of her storylines in the season are dictated by her relationships to other people: McKay, Maddy, Lexie, her parents and so on. 

Nevertheless, I tried to stick to the airier, more traditionally “pretty” pieces whilst still channelling the confidence and ease with which Cassie pulls them off. Sydney Sweeney has the most incredible figure and I feel like whilst the clothes the on-set stylists put her in flatter that and don’t hide anything, they’re still the focus. It doesn’t feel like there’s anything more inherently sexual about her character than any of the other main female characters despite the way the men within the narrative view her, and I think it’s a testament to the the wardrobe department that to me she still gives off big modern Disney princess energy and a certain innocence even whilst we hear her being continuously sexualised by her male peers. 

If anything, Cassie probably dresses the most like an actual teenage girl, and her style, whilst less distinctive than the other girls, still does a good job of capturing the youth and romanticism of her character. 

The colour palette of her wardrobe tends to be quite neutral, with a couple of pastels thrown in there, and if there are any details, they’re usually quite dainty. Similarly, Cassie is probably the least experimental when it comes to her makeup; we don’t really see her wearing the bold eyeshadows or liners or gems like the other girls at any point.

OUTFIT 1-

Bodysuit-Motel Rocks

Hair Clips-Bershka

OUTFIT 2-

Dress-Jaded London

OUTFIT 3-

Trousers-Urban Outfitters

OUTFIT 4-

Top-Urban Outfitters

Hairband-H&M

`OUTFIT 5-

Top-Urban Outfitters

Jeans-Zaful

Headband-Primark

OUTFIT 6-

Top-Urban Outfitters

OUTFIT 7-

Dress-Urban Outfitters

Hair Clips-Boohoo

SO, I guess that’s it for my Euphoria lookbook! As always, let me know what you think (nicely pls, my ego is fragile lol) and I’d love to hear your opinions on the show too! I really haven’t got this excited over a new TV show in ages and I just think that it does everything so excellently-from the writing to the cinematography to the soundtrack, you can tell each element is so carefully and purposefully constructed. It immerses you into the dramatic highs and lows of being a teenager in a way I haven’t seen since UK Skins and I never thought I’d watch a show which held a candle to that. 

In terms of what I’m doing next, I’ve got a very delayed fashion week masterpost in the works as well as something to fill the Met Gala shaped hole in our lives, which I hope to get up over the next couple of weeks. In the meantime, if you read to the end, THANK YOU! And I hope you’re staying safe and AT HOME where possible. I know this self-isolation feels never-ending and if I’m honest, it is having a hugely negative effect on my mental health, but NHS staff are doing their very best with the shitty recourses they have and whilst it seems that our government have thrown workers under the bus once again, we can all do our bit to combat that by slowing the spread of the virus. Also thank you to anybody who’s out working now in such a scary and uncertain time! I work at a grocery store and can say from experience that the best way to show this thanks is just through kindness and following employee’s instructions without giving them grief for it. Everyone’s scared right now and the best we can do is pull together and look out for each other, as difficult as that might seem at times.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble, and like I said, stay safe! Thanks once again if you read til the end or even if you’re just here for the photos. Appreciate it more than you know either way!

Lauren x

[sevenstarsinning]

Invasion Ch. 3

Description:  A planet conquering race of Saiyans invaded Earth and deemed it worthy of habitation. After bringing the humans to their heels, they set up a new society where humans had one role, to serve. You found yourself in the unlucky faction of being bought and sold as a human pet. With absolutely no interest in owning a human but no way out of having one, Kakarot made a bid on you at the urging of his brother. It was only a matter of time before you were either killed or forced into obedience.

Ch. 1      Ch. 2

________________________

Kakarot had been gone for few hours so you decided to cook dinner. He hadn’t given you any instructions on what to do while he was gone so you decided to do whatever until he told you otherwise. You hadn’t really eaten in a couple of days and the anxiety was finally starting to subside enough to where you felt your appetite returning. You grabbed the ingredients for beef stew and went to work. You coated the beef tips in flour before searing them in a pan while you let the vegetables simmer in the pot. After combining everything you sat back and waited. There wasn’t much to do in his house, it seemed devoid of anything entertaining besides a tv that had two channels, one of which was static, and the other was weather. You settled on watching the weather and by the time the food was done, you knew the entire forecast for the next week by heart. Just as you were fixing your bowl of stew, the front door opened and you could hear Kakarot sniffing the air.

“Did you cook again? It smells different.” He asked as he made his way down the hallway.

“I wasn’t sure when you’d be back, so I made beef stew. Is that okay?”

He made a beeline to the pot on the stove and filled a bowl, “coming home to food is always okay.”

His reassurance was softer than you expected and honestly it made you feel kind of happy. He seemed to be mesmerized by the smell of the stew as carried it to the table. He sat the bowl down and looked at it for a moment, then to you as you sat at the other end. He picked up the bowl suddenly and started to hold it up to his mouth.

“Wait, not like that,” you stood up and grabbed him a spoon from the drawer, “use this so you don’t make a mess. Or scald yourself.”

You were a little concerned that his first instinct is to just shovel food in by pouring the contents directly into his open mouth. You ate together, well more like you ate while he inhaled the food. He acted as if he hadn’t eaten in weeks, but clearly that wasn’t the case. You wondered if he had just been surviving on the raw foods he could buy and nothing more.

“I’m leaving.” He said between bites, catching you off guard.

“Oh, okay. Um, where are you going?” You weren’t sure if it was allowed to ask or not, but you did anyways.

“Prince Vegeta gave me an assignment on another planet. Should be back in a week.” He continued to eat without looking up at you.

“Oh, am I going with you?”

He paused and glanced up at you, “you’ll stay here. Alone.”

Several things ran through your mind at the thought of being left alone. You wanted to ask if he was going to lower your clearance level, but you didn’t want to remind him of it.

“Okay, anything I should do while you’re gone?”

“Stay.” Kakarot wasn’t entirely concerned with you running away, but he knew if you were to get caught somewhere while he was gone, you might not be returned.

“I can do that.” You smiled slightly, offering him reassurance while you were already considering your escape.

The next day you woke up to see he had left already. No goodbye or final word about your clearance level. You shuffled through the house, considering checking out his room, but you ultimately decided against it. You fixed yourself breakfast and lounged around until curiosity got the better of you. You wanted to know if you were truly free to come and go as you pleased.

You opened the front door and stood at the threshold, wondering just what kind of shock you could expect if you did step over it and your level had been lowered. You remained in the doorway as people passed by, saiyans with their humans, some of them glancing at you as they continued on their way. Taking in a deep breath first, you stepped through the door and froze, waiting for the shock that never came. You closed the door behind you and took a few more steps away from the house, your anxiety easing the further you got away from it. An intense feeling to run started to rush through you, but your feet remained planted. You had your freedom in your hands and the only thing you could think of was that you’d be leaving so many others behind. Then it dawned on you, Bulma. She could come with you, she could set all human’s levels to free them. You immediately made a path towards the castle.

“Off leash, human?” A large saiyan grinned at you as he walked by you.

You picked up your pace as you realized you had nothing to protect you and the passive thought entered your mind of wanting Kakarot there, but you pushed it out quickly. You didn’t want to rely on him in any capacity, so you reminded yourself that he bought you for the sole purpose of owning you, not helping you. When you finally made it to the castle it was a lot less busy than the day before, clearly a lot of humans had been purchased recently. The second Bulma saw you she almost knocked you over with a quick embrace.

“I knew you’d come to see me. Especially when I heard Kakarot was going on a mission.”

“You heard about that?” You asked once she released you.

“Vegeta gets chatty after sex.” She said bluntly.

You couldn’t help the look of surprise on your face, “you have sex with him?” You kept your voice low.

Bulma laughed and looped her arm around yours as she led you further into the castle, “if you haven’t fucked a saiyan yet, you’re really missing out. The things they can do, oh, and those tails? They come into play a lot.”

Your mind was reeling with the new information. It wasn’t exactly new information that saiyans bred with humans, but you never expected a human to do it willingly. There was still so much you didn’t know. You started to wonder if that was what Kakarot had bought you for, if he was planning to mate with you? You quickly dismissed the thought as something you’d worry about if it came up.

“Come on, I’ll introduce you to him.” She pulled you with her.

“Introduce me to who? Prince Vegeta?”

“Yeah, don’t worry. He’s a big softie.”

The anxiety that had dissipated was starting to return as you neared the throne room where you could only assume he was. Bulma ignored the guards at the door and did as she pleased, bursting in unannounced and striding happily towards the brooding saiyan at the other end of the room.

“Prince Vegeta, I want you to meet someone. This is Kakarot’s human.” She tugged your hand, pulling you forward.

“It was about time he got one.” He regarded you suspiciously for a moment.

“I was wondering if you could do her a favor?” Bulma released your hand and approached him.

“What is it, woman?”

“As you can see, she still has that God awful collar around her neck, could you remove it for her?”

You had honestly forgotten about it. You had adjusted to the weight and feeling of it around your neck and touched it instinctively when she mentioned it.

“Am I not busy enough as it is?” He snapped, but clearly still keeping his tone softer.

She glanced back at you and winked before climbing up into his lap and nuzzling against his neck, “but the poor thing is so uncomfortable. Kakarot didn’t know to remove it for her and she clearly doesn’t have the strength to do it herself.”

Vegeta seemed to shift in his seat, placing his arm around her and his tail coiled around her leg, “she does seem weak.”

“Please? I would really really appreciate it.” She spoke even lower.

You felt a little awkward standing there while she basically seduced him and he played right into her game.

“I could, but that’s Kakarot’s place, not mine.” He said abruptly.

“Aw, you’re sure you can’t help her out, Prince Vegeta?” She begged softly, nipping at his neck which caused him to groan.

“Kakarot will remove it if he chooses to. Now, if you don’t want your new friend watching while I breed you, then I suggest you leave soon.” He warned.

Bulma kissed his cheek, “I don’t think she’s ready to see that just yet.”

She climbed out of his lap and his tail uncoiled from her. He kept his eyes on her as she walked, clearly attached to her. Their relationship was different, almost as if they loved each other, but you knew that wasn’t possible, not for someone who was a prisoner. You followed her out of the throne room as she took you out to one of the gardens.

“He was so close to giving in.”

“What’s with the collars anyways? No one really explained it to me.” You asked as you took a seat on the stone bench next to her.

“Some saiyans opt for keeping them on and often attach a leash to it, a clear show of power. If you haven’t learned already, saiyans are always measuring their dicks by sheer strength or appearance of strength. Vegeta never would have let me into his lap had another saiyan been there.”

You chewed on the thought that had been in your head since you left the house and you knew you needed to say it while you were alone.

“I’ve been thinking about something, about our situation, about all of the human’s situations. You have control over the clearance levels, right? And-“

She raised her hand up, stopping you, “I know where you’re going with this, it wouldn’t work.”

“But if you just changed all of the clearance levels, then-“

“I’m telling you it won’t work. And you’d be smart to stop talking about this.” She looked around nervously, the first time you’d actually seen her look nervous about anything.

“You’re just content staying here then? Being owned by him and never having true freedom?”

“Look, I know Kakarot hasn’t exactly been warm and welcoming, but you have no idea what you’re talking about. Vegeta actually cares about me. Do you know how many guys have pushed me in the path of danger? Or broken my heart by fucking someone else? He’s committed to me and only me.”

“So you’ll sacrifice all of humankind just to have a boyfriend?”

Both of you were shocked by the words that came out of your mouth, “I’m so sorry, Bulma, I didn’t mean-“

She let out a soft sigh, “like it or not, this is how things are now. What’s your plan if you get away? Run to another city? Another country? There isn’t anywhere for you to go. You can either continue to fight this and be miserable or lean into your fate and actually live your life.”

“The difference is that you have someone who actually acknowledges your existence and seems to care if you’re around.”

“It’s better to be invisible than on full display in the arena.” She reminded you.

It was frustrating how right she was about everything. You wanted to run, but you had nowhere to go. You wanted to be happy with your situation, but every time you turned around, Kakarot was there to remind you that he didn’t want you. It was starting to take a toll on you even though it shouldn’t have. You hated the fact that you wanted to please him, that you held out hope that he would actually enjoy your presence. It made you feel sick to your stomach at the thought of craving his approval.

“He’ll be back in a week, right?” She asked, breaking the silence.

“Yeah. The only thing he told me to do while he was gone was ‘stay’.”

“Stay? Like, as in stay home or don’t run away?”

“I don’t know. He just said to stay. Which clearly, I didn’t do. By the way, how do saiyans punish their humans?”

She furrowed her brow as she looked at you, “why do you ask? I highly doubt Kakarot is going to punish you for coming here.”

“I kind of slapped his brother and he-“

“Wait, you slapped Raditz?!” She almost shouted in surprise.

“Yeah, he was-“

“And you’re still alive?”

“Yeah, Kakarot stepped in between us. Is that a big deal?”

She glanced around again before settling her gaze back on you, “Raditz isn’t someone to fuck with. He’s been through at least four humans already.”

“What happened to them?” Your curiosity was piqued but not exactly in a good way.

“Two went to the arena by his request. He still has one that I know of, and the other, she just kind of disappeared.”

A chill ran up your spine at the thought that he was that ruthless and you just happened to hit him in the face. He was the one who encouraged Kakarot to buy you, could he have had some other motive behind it? You were starting to feel uneasy about even being with his brother.

“He told Kakarot to punish me.”

“I take it he didn’t?”

You shook your head, still uncertain about what it meant.

“Every saiyan is different in how they choose to punish their human. Some use brute force, others use denial, and there are some who use the arena to teach their humans a lesson. Just steer clear of Raditz, please?”

“I’ll do my best, but somehow I don’t think he’s going to let me, especially after what I did. Did Vegeta punish you?” The question was there and you knew it was really none of your business, but you were curious.

She couldn’t help but laugh, “you think I’d let that thick-skulled idiot punish me? He tried, trust me, he definitely tried. He thought he could just ignore me and I’d sit back and take it. Boy was he wrong. I was up early everyday waiting outside his door to follow him around. He got so annoyed that he finally started talking to me.”

Bulma continued telling you about how she ‘tamed’ Vegeta, it seemed almost impossible for you to reach that level of happiness. She was so strong willed and confident, two things you didn’t have. She wasn’t someone to settle for an unhappy or unfulfilling life either. You started to wonder if you’d ever be where she is, especially with Kakarot. You didn’t want the obvious love story she seemed to have, but you wanted to at least feel needed or wanted.

“Hey Kakarot, how’s that new little human of yours?” Nappa asked from the back of the ship.

“She’s fine.” He answered shortly, wanting to avoid the subject.

“Oh I bet. Raditz told me she got a little feisty the other day. You punish her good?”

“She won’t act on impulse like that again.”

His vague response seemed to please Nappa and the other saiyans as they returned to talking about their humans and how well-trained they’d turned out to be. Kakarot still wasn’t sold on the idea, but your cooking was definitely a perk. He just couldn’t see the appeal of owning a human and forcing them to wait on him hand and foot, but his brother seemed to think it was necessary. Raditz also seemed to have an obsession with the humans, which Kakarot found odd to say the least. He smirked at the thought of you slapping his brother, a small, frail human hitting the large ruthless saiyan. He could at least admire your bravery.

“Alright, we’re nearing the planet’s surface, everyone ready?” Nappa called out, breaking Kakarot from his thoughts and bringing him back to the job at hand.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #126: Bedivere

Today on Fate and Phantasms we're making the one delivery service with worse return timelines than Amazon, Bedivere!

Bedi's got a bit of extra witchcraft that certainly would have gotten you in trouble if you weren't rolling with the king of England, but he's also a knight who's accomplished in the art of warfare. Surprisingly, that combination means your build is actually more complicated than the immortal pseudogod you face off against.

There's really no telling what gets accounted for in D&D classes.

Check out Bedi's build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

Next up: What a twist!

Race and Background

I mean, you were human at some point. Ol' Bedi's much, much older than he looks, thanks to time traveling the long way around to me your king again. So far, in fact, that you now count as a Reborn from that fancy new UA. Using the new lineage traits, you get +2 Charisma and +1 Constitution. You also count as an Undead and a Humanoid, meaning you're affected by both Turn Undead and Cure Wounds. Real fun for a paladin! You've got a Medium size, with 30' of movement speed. You get 60' of Darkvision, and your Deathless Nature nets you a gaggle of benefits. You have advantage against disease and poison, and resist poison damage. You also get advantage on death saves, and don't require most things needed for life. You no long require eating, drinking, or breathing, and instead of sleeping you just sit tight for four hours. This also means magic can't put you to sleep. Finally, a number of times per long rest equal to your proficiency bonus you can recall Knowledge from a Past Life, adding 1d6 to a skill check.

That almost makes up for... actually it doesn't make up for anything. Still, it's better than nothing.

Oh yeah, background. You're a Knight of the Order, like your coworkers before you. This gives you proficiency with Religion and Persuasion.

Ability Scores

Make your Charisma as high as possible. You look me in the eyes and tell me that isn't a charming young man, I dare you. After that is Wisdom, because you can't fight a war if you can't see what the enemy is doing. After that is Constitution-you survived an inordinate amount of time to get to this point, and even with a magic artifact that's still one hell of a save DC. Strength is next, you're as good with a sword in one hand as most knights are with two, but we'll get our swordfighting skills from somewhere else in just a bit. Your Dexterity is a bit low, but you wear heavy armor, so it's not that much of a problem. Finally, dump Intelligence. Like a lot of builds, Bedivere isn't dumb- we just needed other abilities more, and intelligence affects very little besides skill checks, and that's what KfaPL is for.

Class Levels

1. Paladin 1: Once again, no surprise here. As a paladin, you get a Divine Sense to locate extraplanar beasties nearby, and you can also Lay on Hand to heal a creature from a pool of hp equal to five times your paladin level, which refills on long rests.

You also get proficiency in Wisdom and Charisma saves, as well as two paladin skills. I've said this already, but you can do one-handed what most people need two for, so you're pretty good at Athletics. You're also able to read the battlefield well, and that most closely translates to Insight.

2. Paladin 2: Second level paladins get a fighting style, and since all your weapons are one handed, the Dueling style is perfect for you, adding 2 to all your one-handed weapon attacks when you aren't also wielding a shield or a second weapon. You can also cast and prepare spells using your Charisma. You can also burn those spell slots to activate your Divine Smite, adding some extra radiant damage to your weapon attacks.

Bedivere is known for his knowledge in witchcraft, so he gets a bit more leeway in what spells he can get. That being said, Heroism is always a good pick to calm yourself before a battle, and Bless will use your Charisma skill to improve your allies' attack rolls and saves, giving them an extra d4 for the duration.

3. Warlock 1: I know you're more of a paladin than this, but you don't have one of your arms yet, and to be honest it's cramping our style. Technically you got your arm from Merlin, but we've done more than enough crown paladin/archfey warlock combos now thanks to the Pendragon family to last a lifetime. Your powers more directly come from your arm, which is a transformed magical sword, so that makes you a Hexblade warlock.

At first level, you can place a Hexblade's Curse on someone once per short rest. This means you deal extra damage to them based on your proficiency bonus, you crit on 19s when you attack, and you gain hp when the target dies. The curse only lasts for 1 minute, but so do most D&D fights, so you're probably fine.

You also become a Hex Warrior, allowing you to use Charisma instead of Strength when attacking with a specific weapon you choose after a long rest. Once you get your pact boon, this will apply to any weapon you make with that boon (though you probably want to make your hand).

You also get Pact Magic, which is kinda like normal magic, but it doesn't mix with your other spell slots, and recharges on short rests. This also uses your Charisma to cast.

You can cast True Strike to strike true, Prestidigitation to make up for all the little magic effects we can't get you, Wrathful Smite to smite while you smite, and Comprehend Languages, because most people aren't going to know what you're talking about if you're speaking Middle English.

4. Warlock 2: Second level warlocks get Eldritch Invocations, ways to customize the selling your soul experience. Save one for next level, but grab Beast Speech so you can cast Speak with Animals for free. There's a lot of talking creatures in medieval mythology, and we spend most of our spell slots smiting. You can also cast Unseen Servant to make things a bit witchier, and also for help carrying cumbersome stuff.

5. Warlock 3: Third level warlocks get their pact boon, and Pact of the Blade will allow you to summon your arm as an action. You can also make other weapons, but regardless, whatever you make counts as a magical weapon for resistances, and can be used as a casting focus for your spells. You also get the invocation Improved Pact Weapon for a +1 to damage and attack rolls.

Finally, you learn how to cast Hold Person, locking a humanoid who fails a wisdom save (DC 8 + proficiency + charisma mod) in place and making all attacks against them critical hits. This usually ends poorly for them, especially when smites get added to the mix.

6. Paladin 3: Oh that's right you're a paladin too. You might be sick of this by now, but Crown paladins; let's talk about them. You get two Channel Divinity options, which you can use once per short rest. Both use your bonus action, but Champion Challenge forces enemies within 30' of you who fail their wisdom save to stay within 30' of you. This lasts until you're incapacitated, you die, or the creature ends up further away from you unwillingly. Turn the Tide heals bloodied allies around you a touch, to keep them in the fight a bit longer.

Alternatively, you can Harness Divine Power, turning that channel divinity use into a refilled spell slot.

You also get Divine Health, making you immune to disease.

Finally, you get oath spells, which you always have prepared. You already could've cast Command and Compelled Duel anyway, but now they're not taking up prep space.

7. Paladin 4: Just because we're taking a different patron doesn't mean we can't rep Merlin a bit, so use this Ability Score Improvement to become a bit Fey Touched. This rounds up your Charisma, and also allows you to cast Misty Step or Gift of Alacrity once per long rest for free. Alternatively, you can use your spell slots, but I'd save those for smites, personally. The former lets you teleport, the latter adds a bit to one character's initiative for a couple hours. Basically you're just telling someone to keep their eyes peeled, but magically.

8. Fighter 1: Depending on how your DM wants to rule it, Argetlam might be a regular weapon, or it might be an actual hand. Grab the Unarmed Fighting fighting style if it's the latter, or just grab Defense otherwise.

You also get a Second Wind, allowing you to heal yourself as a bonus action. You've been around for a while, you know when you're reaching your limits.

9. Paladin 5: Fifth level paladins get an Extra Attack each attack action. They also get second level spells, including your oath spells Warding Bond and Zone of Truth. Literally making it impossible for yourself to lie can be a great show of trust when meeting new people. Or new gods. Either or.

I'd recommend grabbing Protection from Poison since you'll be travelling with Serenity for a while, or Branding Smite for the inevitable fight against Sir Tristan. I hear he's kind of hard to hit.

10. Warlock 4: Use this ASI to max out your Charisma for the best attacks and spells possible. You also fill out your defensive repertoire with the cantrip Blade Ward to make yourself more durable and Blur to make yourself harder to hit. Nobody said living this long would be easy.

11. Warlock 5: Fifth level warlocks get third level spells and slots. I'd consider a lot of what the Lion King did to the round table to count as a curse, so grab Remove Curse to fight back. You also get the invocation Eldritch Smite this level, allowing you to burn a spell slot for some extra force damage. This is on top of your Divine Smite dealing radiant damage, and possibly on top of your Wrathful Smite dealing psychic damage, by the way. Argetlam's got a lot of power behind it.

12. Fighter 2: Second level fighters get an Action Surge, giving you an extra action to slap on your turn once per short rest. You've been pushing yourself for hundreds of years, six seconds is nothing.

13. Fighter 3: As a Battle Master, you really come into your own in terms of warfare. You become a Student of War, giving you calligraphy proficiency, the most powerful of abilities. On a lesser note, you also get Combat Superiority, meaning you can use three maneuvers, powered by four superiority dice. These are d8s that recharge every short rest.

Commander's Strike uses one of your attacks to allow another creature to attack instead, using their reaction. If they do so, you add the superiority die to their damage. Tactical Assessment improves your battlefield knowledge without having to invest in intelligence as an ability, allowing you to add the superiority die to one Investigation, History, or Insight check. You can also Rally a companion as a bonus action, giving them some temporary HP.

14. Paladin 6: Oh that's right you're also a paladin. Now you've got an Aura of Protection, meaning every save made within 10' of you gets your charisma modifier added to it, if you so choose.

15. Paladin 7: Your Divine Allegiance allows you to use a reaction to take another creature's damage for it. Mash is lovely, but occasionally she needs some time off tanking.

16. Paladin 8: You get another ASI this level, and your charisma's all good now... grab some Constitution I guess? More health is nice.

17. Paladin 9: Ninth level paladins get third level spells, like your oath spells Aura of Vitality and Spirit Guardians. You could also use something like Crusader's Mantle or Spirit Shroud to pile even more radiant damage onto your attacks.

18. Paladin 10: Your Aura of Courage calms allies around you, preventing them from being frightened.

19. Paladin 11: Hey, did you want even more radiant damage on your attacks? Here, have an Improved Divine Smite. Same smite taste, no spell slots!

20. Paladin 12: Your capstone level is another ASI! Bump up your strength. This doesn't give you many benefits, but you're a knight, you should be pretty strong.

Pros:

You've got a divine smite, improved divine smite, eldritch smite, and even one of the spell smites if you're feeling spicy. Four smites at once means your critical hits hurt. Especially since you can fish for them with a hexblade's curse.

Despite your damage dealing, you've also got plenty of tools in your support kit. Tank for allies, heal them, help them attack more, improve their initiative... You can do a lot.

You've got almost 200 hp and ways to heal yourself, so your survivability's pretty on point as well. Stay in the fight, and make sure everyone else does too.

Cons:

Thanks to being a reborn, you count as an undead for spells and effects. That'll seriously hinder your social standing in places that can check for that sort of thing, and it'll also make working with clerics in general troublesome.

Hexblade makes picking ASIs a lot easier, but it also means your strength and dexterity scores aren't as high. Because of that your AC isn't going to be that great. It's a good thing you can survive hits, because you'll definitely be taking them.

Despite your array of smites, you have limited spell slots to use them with. Your highest level spells are only level 3, and you don't get that many slots to work with, so you'll have to be careful of when you go all out.

[saturniandragon]

Part 3 of 4

Part 2

Part 1

“Ugh, I hate this rain.”

“Oh don’t back off now, you said Countess Viena is counting on you.”

“…was that pun intended?”

“Yes.”

Merri’sa and Elrain regrouped back at the Ayleid temple after the sun had set and darkness covered the skies, albeit under downpour. Both an annoyance and a blessing; none of them could stand being wet and cold for long periods of time, while the sound of rain and abysmal lighting could mask their movement and help them sneak around better.

Merri’sa couldn’t miss that Elrain was unusually packed with equipment, more than what she’s used to go with. A knapsack containing who knew, a metal pick for climbing, and several opaque bottles with cloth on the lid in place of conventional cork.

“What’s in those bottles?”

“Oh these? You’ll see. Hopefully I get to use them so I can show you.”

Elrain took one last look through the monocular before going in. Observation from a distance was now more difficult due to less light available and raindrops coating the glass.

“It’s too quiet. Only six of them out and about, what is this? Where the hell is the rest of them?”

“Probably asleep. Or shielding themselves from the rain.”

“Doesn’t matter, this ends tonight.”

“Ready when you are.”

Elrain took out a rope, tied one end to a large tree trunk on the edge of the overlook, and threw the other end downhill. Followed by Merri’sa, she began rappelling down the cliffside as quickly and safely as possible under the rain. They began their infiltration into the Ayleid temple.

Elrain used the cover of the rain, distraction and cunning to get close to the unsuspecting targets and slit their throats, Merri’sa used her night vision ability and unmatched marksmanship to take down the rest from long range. And just like that, in about 10 minutes, the temple exterior was cleared. 5 years of mutual trust in combat has enabled them to act quickly and efficiently even without verbal communication.

“Wasn’t so bad.” Merri’sa scavenged any arrows still intact enough to conserve ammunition. She still held her principle of utilizing every resource to its limit.

Before going in, Elrain inspected the bodies that they’d killed, hoping to gather any piece of information about what they’re about to face. One of the bandits bore an unusual symbol painted on the back of the hand. It consisted of a number of circles with texts written in strange letters.

“Mary, look at this.”

“Hmm?”

“You’ve seen this before?”

“No idea, but that’s… Daedric script.”

“Can you read it?”

“I wish I could. Well, at least now we know we’re dealing with a band of corpse raisers of some sort.”

The rain hadn’t stopped pouring down. If anything, it became heavier than before, and the ambient temperature got colder as a side effect. Adding the faraway cracks of lightning and it might as well classify as a storm.

“The hell are they doing here?”

“Whatever it is they’re doing, it’s not benevolent. Just keep your head down in there.”

The pair began entering the temple interior through an opening. Inside, the walls were lined with beautiful and flowing elven carvings, as well as Ayleid scripts. Unfortunately, none of them were able to translate any.

The Ayleids, like the Dwemer, all disappeared from Nirn before the Second Era started. However, their elven magic still persisted in the temples and buildings they left behind. One such magic was glowing energy stones used to light up interior, in place of conventional oil lamps or candles. Even over 3000 years later in the Fourth Era, these stones hadn’t ceased giving off light, and many discoveries on lost Ayleid ruins revealed traces of usable magic in artifacts and weapons, attracting attention from both magic researchers as well as maleficent individuals looking to harness power.

Merri’sa and Elrain continued their speculating from their last time in the tavern, while traversing the temple interior carefully and keeping eyes open for threats and traps from all angles. Until suddenly they found a corpse of a woman in white robes trapped inside some metal cage. Elrain went ahead to inspect it.

“Mary, cover me.”

Elrain slipped her arms through the metal bars and checked the body for possible information. Blood patterns, laceration wounds and burn marks. Some organs appeared to have been removed from the body. But it didn’t take long until she was struck by a terrible realization.

“Shit, Mary, it’s the missing priestess.”

“Is she dead?”

“Been dead for at least 2 days, judging from the dried blood. But looks like they… removed her heart.”

“What? Let me see.”

Elrain and Merri’sa swapped turns. Nothing much they could gather from it as the metal cage was tightly locked with no visible keyhole. Aside from the missing heart, all the blood also seemed to have been extracted out.

“Seems like they kept her alive for some period before deciding to kill her.”

“But necromancers don’t salvage body parts, do they? Unless they plan on resurrecting someone else.”

“I feared as much. We better keep moving, I don’t want to find out what atrocities they’re about to commit if we don’t do anything.”

Merri’sa and Elrain continued on forward, deeper into the temple. The further they went, the stranger the ambient air felt like, giving a clear sign that there’s heavy influence of magic in the area. While they continued finding more dead bodies of travelers, mercenaries and civilians alike, they hadn’t encountered any hostiles in the temple interior, which was unusual as they earlier expected to face fierce resistance. But they knew they were going the right way as they noticed more and more of the same symbols painted on the temple walls, the same symbol as the one found earlier on the bandit they killed.

“Mary, I don’t like this. Where the hell are they?”

“I don’t like it either, just keep your eyes open.”

All the corpses they encountered shared the same characteristics; lacerations, at least one missing organ and all the blood drained out. Even some were missing limbs. A really gruesome place to be in, but they had a job to do and they intended to complete it. Though the overall scent of the temple interior didn’t make it any easier.

One hour of carefully walking through the hallways of the Ayleid ruin, dodging traps and unknown objects, they finally found something significant. At the end of a large hall was a door with lights and muffled chanting voices propagating from it. And the same symbol with Daedric script appeared again, carved on the door.

“What the hell? Mary, you hear that?”

“I do. C’mon, help me open this.”

Merri’sa and Elrain both tried to force the door open, first by focusing their body mass on it, and when that didn’t work, they started using other methods like using a metal pick to pry it open and burning it with a fire spell. Yet, the door wouldn’t budge a hair no matter what they did.

“Ugh, it’s not opening. Something’s blocking it from the other side. Mary?”

“I’m gonna look around.”

All that’s left of that night’s journey was behind that very door, anything in there could help answer what had been happening between Skingrad and Kvatch. So close, yet still far.

Merri’sa started looking around the large hallway, while Elrain sat down on a boulder to regain some stamina and magicka. Pillars towering to the ceiling, large balcony 6 meters high, piles of rubble blocking another doorway, carved elven statues and furniture, and stone coffins. Nothing particularly useful to get the door open.

A particular relief on the wall caught her attention. She studied the carvings for a while, until she discovered a horrifying piece of history.

“By the Eight. El, come here.”

“What? What is it?”

“Look at this.”

Elrain walked towards Merri’sa, both set their eyes on the carved relief on the temple wall.

“Woah.”

“This may be our answer.”

The relief displayed a female figure of elven origins, surrounded by what appeared to be elven wizards channeling magic to her body. A possible hint of practice of resurrection or life preservation done for significant persons in ancient society to prolong their age and firm hold over power. But what ticked them off was the part that pictured a stack of corpses surrounding the wizards, as well as a ring of worshippers around the edges of the relief.

“Is this…”

“A necromantic ritual? Likely. Whoever’s behind that door is probably trying to revive this female figure, possibly the queen who once ruled this place.”

“So wait, those corpses we saw earlier…”

“Someone or some people are trying to replicate history.”

“But to what end?”

“I don’t know, seek of power? An insight to the future? I’ve read stories of Ayleid fanatics doing whatever it takes to see the rise of Ayleid dominance on Tamriel again.”

“Shit. Well we need to get in there.”

“I’ve been thinking about that. Do you have leftover rope?”

“Uh, I think I do, actually,” Elrain scrambled through her knapsack, and took out a small pile of rope. “What are you doing with it?”

Merri’sa snatched the rope from her hands, and the metal pick hanging on her belt.

“Hey that’s mine!” With quick hands, she tied one end of the rope firmly to the grip of the pick. She then threw the pick over the balcony where it held a strong and stable grip, allowing the hanging end of the rope to be used for climbing. And immediately, the Khajiit got up from the ground floor to the balcony pretty easily.

“Oh,” Elrain was taken aback by her creativity and intelligence. Never in her life had she thought of utilizing both of those items in combination. “Where did you learn that?”

“A certain book.” Merri’sa inspected the balcony spaces and found a doorway leading to a narrow corridor. “Looks like there’s a way forward, come on and climb up here.” Without second thoughts, Elrain followed suit and climbed up the rope, and the pair continued their journey deeper into the temple. Their goal was now made clear; stopping terrible history from taking place again.

The chanting they heard earlier became clearer and clearer, and soon enough they found themselves on different balcony in yet another massive hall, but this time even more corpses littered an area large enough to fit a small settlement. Some were no more than bones and skulls.

But their attention was in the middle of the room. Probably 3 dozen people dressed up in blue hooded robes all in a worshipping position circling around a central altar, collectively chanting ancient elven or Daedric language, while other two individuals in black robes stood on the altar with raised hands, supposedly the master necromancers who were leading the ritual. A visible flow of magicka surrounded the room, most of it was directed towards the altar itself, where presumably the body of the Ayleid queen was laid on.

“What on Nirn…”

Merri’sa and Elrain both were stunned by the sight before their eyes. They had prime seat of observing real time attempt of an entire necromantic cult resurrecting an Ayleid queen. This was it, a jarring string of events that had taken countless of innocent lives over the past few months, that they had to stop before the worst. They took cover behind the balusters, making sure no one could see them just to be safe.

“Looks like they can’t hear us from up here, good.”

“You want to take them all out, just like old times?”

“I still need to know what’s in those bottles you carry.”

“Ah, perfect time to show you.”

Elrain took one of the bottles, plucked out the cloth from the lid and placed the lid close to Merri’sa’s nose, signaling her to take scent of the bottle content.

“You smell that?”

“Oil. But what is–”

Merri’sa immediately found out the purpose of said bottle. It’s a makeshift fire spreader, designed to set things on fire from a distance by spreading oil over an area and letting the cloth act as a wick and burn the flammable liquid.

“Yes, you see my point?”

“Clever. Where did you learn to make that?”

“A certain book.”

“Hmph.” Merri’sa let out a small but audible condescending exhale, but it’d be lie if she wasn’t impressed with what her elven companion had managed to come up with mundane, everyday objects. “So what’s the plan?”

“We don’t have enough arrows for all of them, but hear me out. First, we burn the cloth in these bottles, and then, those two in black robes,” Elrain pointed towards the two people standing on the altar. “Kill both of them at the same time, throw these bottles on top of the crowd and escape in the chaos.”

“And what about the ones who survive?”

“Hopefully confused enough to process what happens. If they’re this committed into the ritual, we should have time to leave before they realize.”

A crudely made strategy, made in a hurry. But they knew their situation, they didn’t have enough ammunition for all of them even if they counted their shots, and fighting necromancers in close range surrounded by a mountain of dead bodies would be pretty much death.

At this point there was hardly any better plan than what Elrain proposed.

“I don’t see any other way, let’s do it.”

Elrain prepared the bottles, placing them on the floor. One by one she ignited the cloth wick using a small fire spell. Merri’sa prepared her trusty recurve bow, nocked a steel arrow into place and pulled the bowstring. Elrain followed short after. They had to time their shots at the same moment.

“The cloth wick won’t last long. Let’s be quick about this.”

“Alright, you take the one on the right, I get the left one. Ready?”

“Ready.”

“On three. One, two…”

“Three.”

Two arrows were launched from the dark corner of the hall, arcing down as they traveled towards the target. A second later, two thuds were heard as the master necromancers in the center of the altar dropped dead on the floor and the magicka flow around the room quickly faded out. The pair wasted no time, grabbed the bottles and threw them as accurate as possible towards the cult worshippers. Three loud sounds of glass shatter echoed across the room, as fire spread on their feet and incinerated some of the cult worshippers.

“Great shot, El. Now let’s go, they’ll be searching for us.”

Merri’sa and Elrain didn’t take chances as they booked it towards the temple exit. They jumped down the previous balcony they climbed, but by the time they landed feet on the ground, the door that they tried to budge through was immediately busted open, and a group of angry mages were at the doorway. Without hesitation they casted various Destruction spells as the pair tried to flee.

“Behind us!”

“Forget them! Just run!”

“Intruders! Kill them!”

The pair spent no time looking over their shoulders. Their mind was focused on escaping the temple alive. Merri’sa’s agility and Elrain’s compact posture made it easier for them to navigate tight corners and doorways. At one point the mages got dangerously close to them, so Elrain lit up another oil bottle she brought as a backup.

“This should buy us time.” When they sprinted through the last corridor before the exit, Elrain shattered the last oil bottle on their tracks, creating a pool of fire behind them and stopping the mages from going after them.

“You’re a dirty little wood elf, El, you know that?” Merri’sa said sarcastically.

“Oh, sod off. Save your compliments for later.”

They finally got outside, where the rain had stopped falling down and the two moons of Masser and Secunda lit up the night sky, but their escape wasn’t done just yet. They still needed to make sure no one trailed behind them, so they went after the nearest treeline into the dense Cyrodiilic forest, and through the woods they ran towards Skingrad, the closest guarded settlement.

Inside the walls of Skingrad, Merri’sa and Elrain were filled with adrenaline, having a hard time believing what they just did at the Ayleid temple. They always found satisfaction in doing stealthy combat —Merri’sa especially—, but this one would become an unforgettable experience for both of them, for a pair of skilled markswomen doing a noble service for the people of Cyrodiil.

“Is that why you visited Imperial City? To craft those oil bottles.”

“Hell yes it is. Not bad at all, don’t you think?”

“Impressive, El. Impressive.”

[aknymph]

Our Little Secret~ Part 2

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

A/N: Decided to continue this; hopefully more to come! (Another note at the end!)

Characters belong to Leigh Bardugo and The Grisha Trilogy.

**Warnings: mature content, sex, language

Characters: Alina Starkov + The Darkling; Mal, Tolya, Tamar

Read Part 1 here

I let Aleksander show me what he could give me if I indeed decided to rule beside him. I was lost in him, his scent, the feeling of his strong body against mine. Back in the White Cathedral, my body was still weak, but here, with him, I was strong, alive, vibrant even. Though my body here was only a part of myself, I could feel his power flowing through me and mine through him as we explored this bond between us. That sense of surety I’d always experienced at his touch was somehow made different with this joining, as if he too could feel the surge of surety, of rightness when we were together.

“Alexsander,” I moaned, as he thrust himself into me, grazing my neck with his teeth. He had gone slowly with me at first, letting me adjust to the size of him. He was more attuned to me than I imagined it possible for someone to be. He listened to my sounds, responded to my movements, making the smallest adjustments at any sign of the slightest discomfort. As I grew accustomed to the size and feel of him, he allowed himself to grow more fierce in our exchange.

“Yes, Alina?” He was breathless, and he seemed vexed at having to remove his mouth from my body long enough to speak.

“I want this, Aleksander. I want us. I want you,” it was a chore to speak with the things he was doing to my body. He had his hands braced on either side of my head to keep from crushing my body beneath his, and it gave me the most glorious view of us both. Those teeth had made it to the base of my neck, and he bit me, eliciting another moan. Never had I imagined wanting a man to bite me, but the desire that coursed through me at that was unmistakable.

“More,” I ground out, feeling a smile playing at his lips at my response.

Never had Aleksander, had the Darkling, been so obedient to my desires, and I found it thrilled me to have him at my command, even if only in this. He continued to move his mouth lower, marking me with tongue and teeth as he went. When his mouth found my breast, he pulled back, only lightly tracing it’s curve with his tongue.

“Aleksander,” I moaned again, a plea on my lips.

“So eager.” I could tell he was pleased with himself, pleased with the reaction he was garnering with such little effort.

He moved his tongue across me again, this time a brazen lick instead of the light caress from a moment ago. But I was tired of waiting, and as his tongue slid over my nipple, I arched my back, thrusting my breast into his mouth. A moan escaped his lips at that, but he obliged, sucking me deeper into his mouth as I continued to press myself into him. With my back arched, he braced a hand against my bare back and pulled his knees underneath himself to straddle me, pushing himself impossibly deeper inside me. I was surprised to find myself moving then, pulling myself into his lap. I straddled him, wrapping my legs around his waist and grinding myself onto him.

“Fuck, Alina.”

I was impossibly encouraged by his response to my movements as I wrapped my arms around his back to grasp his shoulders. One of his hands slid to grip my ass, aiding my movements against him, the other tangled in my hair as he pulled my mouth to his. Despite our rough, pleading movements, his kiss was tender, his full lips lingering on mine. That tenderness unlocked something inside me, and I bucked my body harder, faster against his. He was so deep inside me, and I could feel myself beginning to quake around him.

“Oh, Aleksander. Yes, please.” I couldn’t make sense of the words pouring from my lips. I just knew that I wanted this, whatever was coming, I wanted it. Both his hands gripped my hips as he helped my move toward that glorious peak.  Aleksander was panting with me, doing everything he could to bring me over that edge. 

“Come for me, my Alina.” At those words, I broke apart, shuddering around his cock, as I rode out that incredible high, our bodies joined for my pleasure. His name spilled from my lips over and over, the sound of which brought him over that edge with me with a few final thrusts.

We sat there, foreheads resting together, panting each other’s air. After what seemed like hours, I felt his brow furrow, and with trepidation I pulled back, and looked at him, surprised to find a smile spread across his face.

“You’re beautiful, my sun saint,” he said as he traced my lips with his thumb.

It was a whispered confession, spoken across the expanse of our bodies. I found that despite our nakedness, all we’d done, the evidence of which was spilled inside me, those words caused a blush to creep across my cheeks. I turned my face to try to hide my embarrassment, but he slid his thumb down the frame of my face, turning me back to look at him.

“Do not hide from me.” I blinked at the sternness in his voice. I met his eyes, realizing it wasn’t anger, but perhaps hurt that lined his features. “Please,” he added then, almost an afterthought.

My own eyes softened then, understanding dawning on me. No, he wasn’t angry, he was nervous, nervous that after all we’d just shared, I would still turn away from him. I let my hand float up to his cheek. His eyes drifted closed as he nestled into my palm.

“Alina,” he began, still sounding pained, “I don’t want to do this without you. I can, but-”

I was ripped from him then, my body being hurdled away. I tried to reach out to him, but I could no longer feel his body against mine.

“Alina. Alina.” My name was being shouted, but it was garbled, as if I was underwater. I reached for Aleksander again; where had he gone? Where was I being taken?

“Alina, wake up. Come back, Alina.” The voice was yelling now, no longer muted, and I felt my body being shaken. Anger coursed through me. I would not be taken; I would fight.

I threw up my fists to ward off my attacker, and my fist met bone with a sickening crunch. Good, I thought, I could do this.

“Shit. Seriously, Alina? You were dreaming. Fuck, I’m bleeding.”

This didn’t make any sense. I tried to shake the confusion from mind, finally opening my eyes. 

Mal stood before me, hand cupped below his nose as blood slid into his awaiting palm. Shit. What had just happened? Had Mal caught me with the Darkling? No, we’d been in the palace, in the throne room. Realization dawned on me then as the room around me came into focus and I felt my presence fully sink back into my body. I was in the White Cathedral. How long had I been with him there, leaving my body forgotten in this tomb?

“Mal?” I didn’t mean for it to come out as a question, but it did none-the-less. My mind was racing- guilt, shame, confusion, frustration all swirling together. I tried to steady my breathing, to remind myself that it was unlikely he had any idea what had happened, what I’d been doing mere moments ago.

“What happened?” I managed, channeling as much of my confusion as I could, to try to mask the anger that was quickly bubbling up inside me. What had Aleksander been about to tell me? Later, I told myself. Later.

“What happened is that you just punched Mal in the nose, Alina,” Tamar responded, suppressing her grin. I grimaced as I realized Mal and I weren’t the only ones in the room. My face flushed, again concerned that somehow these people knew what I’d been doing in a throne room, miles from this place.

Tamar stepped up to Mal then, examining. “Don’t be such a baby, Oretsev. It’s not like she broke it. You’ll be fine.” I didn’t miss the smirk she tried to hide from Mal by turning to face me instead.

“Mal had come to check in on you, and we’d followed,” she said, gesturing between herself and Tolya, “just in case anyone tried to give him any trouble. Only, when we got here, you were out cold. We figured you were sleeping, so Tolya and I stood watch outside your door and left Mal to wake you up.” She glanced to Mal with a slight grimace, “When he started shouting, we figured the two of you were just arguing about something, but after a second we realized it was only Mal’s voice.”

I glanced at Tolya, standing by the door, arms crossed, and found he was nodding gravely.

Mal interjected now, apparently deciding his nose had stopped bleeding enough for him to speak. “You were mumbling and thrashing about, and I thought maybe you’d been poisoned or something, that maybe the Darkling had somehow found us down here and he was torturing you.”

I winced at the mention of the Darkling,wondering what the others would think if they knew I was, in fact, with the Darkling, but that it had been nothing akin to torture that he’d been giving me. Mal must have seen my wince because he moved to sit beside me on the bed and took my hand. “It’s okay, Alina, you don’t have to be afraid anymore. He can’t get to you here.”

How was I going to come back from this? I couldn’t tell my friends that something, everything had changed, because for them, nothing had. But I knew this was different now; our fight was different, I  was different, and I needed to sort this out. I needed to speak to Aleksander. We could work this out-- together.

“Hello, Alina?” Mal was waving a hand in front of my face, “Are you listening? Are you there? Saints, Alina, what happened?”

“I, I--” I didn’t know what to tell them. I didn’t want to lie to them, but I also couldn’t tell them the truth. Oh, it’s no big deal, I just went to see the Darkling. We talked, well, we didn’t talk that much, but we talked some. We made up. Everything is good now. We’re good. I don’t think he wants to be our enemy, so we can probably just call this war over and go home now. Yeah, that wasn’t going to work. And was that even the truth? I didn’t know. And I the reason I didn’t know was because Mal’s selfish ass pulled me back here into the hell that I couldn’t escape. My anger was boiling up now, threatening to spill over, and I tried to reign it in, to find details, shards of truth I could share without revealing my own secrets. Mal must have seen my anger though because he was up again, backing away from my bed, hands raised before him.

“Whoa, Alina. Are you okay? What the hell happened?”

“Maybe she’s pissed because she was getting some damn good sleep, and your stupid ass decided to wake her up,”Tamar interjected.

I snorted at that, allowing myself to regain the leash on my anger. These people are my friends, I reminded myself, not my enemies.

“I went to see him,” I finally managed.

“What?” Mal was the angry one now, and I found that pleased me.

“I needed to see what was happening, if he was as weakened as I was.” A half-truth.

“And?” Tolya this time. Ever the sun-soldier.

“He wasn’t.” I could see their disappointment at that. “He seems-” perfect, beautiful, impossibly good at knowing what I want-- “at his usual strength. Though I didn’t ask him for a demonstration.” At least not of that kind, I added in my head.

Mal was still skeptical though. What had he observed from me before he’d drawn the attention of the others? “That’s it? It took me twenty minutes to bring you back, Alina. Did he know you were there? Did you talk to him?”

“Of course I talked to him.” I was feeling defensive now, spinning out at the accusation despite knowing he couldn’t know what I’d done.

“And?”

“Why are you being so hostile towards me? It’s not as if I invited him for tea.”

“I thought he had hurt you again, Alina. I was scared.”

“Again? When did he hurt me before? He lied to me, yes, but when did he hurt me?” I was furious now-- with Mal, with myself, maybe even with Aleksander.

“He cut your arm the very first time you met him, Alina,” Mal spat the words as if I was a foolish child. He was right of course, but that had been a test, to reveal my power. Had there been other times he’d hurt me like that, times I’d merely brushed aside? Mal wasn’t finished though, and I soon got my answer. 

“He tried to enslave you with that fucking collar. He tried to feed me to the volcra on the Unsea. He used your power to spread the Unsea over half of Novokribirsk, killing anyone in its path. He had a nichevo’ya bite you when he captured us in Novyi Zem. Then he kept us apart on that Saints forsaken search for the sea whip. Is that a long enough list, Alina? Or should I continue?”

My eyes stung with tears at the unspoken accusation in his voice, and I fought to blink them away before they could fall. I would not cry, not for this, not for him.

“I’d like to be alone.”

“And I’d like to know what important conversation you were having with the Darkling while I thought he was torturing you in your mind.”

I looked to Tamar then, knowing she wouldn’t disobey. “I’m still disoriented from being brought back in that way. Can you three please give me some privacy? When I feel myself again, we can reconvene.”

“Of course, Moy Sovereign’ye.” She stepped toward Mal as if to lead him from the room, but he just shook his head and walked out. Tamar pulled the door closed behind them.

My mind was swimming with so many thoughts. Mal hadn’t been wrong, not exactly, but I also didn’t think Aleksander had done any of those things to punish me, per say. To him, they were just a means to an end, and though that didn’t excuse his actions, I also knew that he was ancient, and I couldn’t imagine how living for centuries without anyone to understand you could warp and twist your perceptions of right and wrong. I needed to speak to him; I needed to know what he’d been trying to tell me before Mal pulled me back to this hell hole.

I slowed my breathing, allowing it to steady the thundering of my heart as I layed back down on my bed. I closed my eyes and reached into my power, our power. I felt the antlers, the heart of the stag, the tendril of darkness I’d taken with me, and him-- I felt for him. 

Nothing. 

I tried again, feeling the bond that flowed between us, the one that had strengthened through the joining we had shared. I felt it all, brushed against the essence that I knew was him, and again, nothing happened. 

It was so easy last time, like walking through an open doorway, but this, this seemed more like a wall. I placed my hand against it, testing, trying to understand what was before me. It was hazy, as if I was looking through a foggy window. I used my hand to try to clear a space through which to see, growing frantic at this barrier that had somehow closed me off from him. It seemed that the haze was beginning to clear, so I kept wiping at the surface, willing my vision to clear. Suddenly the barrier was black. 

“No!” I shouted at him. “No!” I hit my fist against the wall that now stood before me, black obsidian glistening in front of me. I stumbled backward, not believing my eyes, wondering still what trick this was. 

I found myself in my bed again, curled into a ball, tears spilling down my cheeks.

“No, Aleksander,” I whimpered, “No.” How could I have been such a fool? It had been another trick. I had been that stupid, naive girl again, allowing myself to believe he wanted me, needed me. I was a fool. 

My tears fell slightly as I drifted into a fitful sleep. This time, no one came to wake me.

A/N: I thought about breaking them apart and sending Alina back the White Cathedral in the middle of things, but that seemed a torture too much for any of us to bare…I’m hoping to write the next chapter from Aleksander’s perspective!!! Thanks for reading!

Read Part 3

[unforth]

Hi there! I absolutely loooove the destiel fic collection and think that it's a genius way to expose fans to fics that might not always get as much attention on fic recs and when searching on ao3. I was thinking of trying to create a similar collection for another fandom and was wondering if you have any tips? Or if there's anything that you wish you knew when you started it? Thank you!

Hi!! Just for openers, sorry I didn’t reply to this yesterday, my mom’s basement flooded and took with it all my writing time, sigh. ANYWAY. On to the topic at hand. How to make a “faves survey” for another fandom, and have it resemble what I’ve made for Destiel? Well, here’s what I’ve done, hopefully some of it will be applicable to you...

1. This is the most important part: Do NOT let it become or be perceived as a popularity contest. Never release the raw stats (except perhaps to a small number of people who you trust to help you). Never announce a “winner.” Never share a ranked list. Never act as if more votes equals better. Never ever suggest in anyway that your purpose to find “the best.” Treat people and fics who get one vote with just as much fanfare as people and fics who get 50 votes. I do release a “top 20″ list just because so many people asked, but even then, it’s in alphabetical order, and meant more as a snapshot. Encourage people to vote for their favorites that aren’t already in whatever collection you end up making, and encourage people to vote for things they don’t usually see on rec lists. Aim for an expansive range of types of fics being voted for, and make it clear - no ship shaming (or secondary ship shaming, if yours is ship-based like mine, rather than being general to a given fandom) or kink shaming. 

2. Keep the survey super simple. People don’t read complex instructions, and they’re not going to want to rank lists or anything like that. You can see the one I use here. Feel free to emulate it, copy it, modify it for your own purposes. I used to just do boxes but people would routinely put in way more than 5/10, and while I didn’t really mind the extras, it greatly increased the amount of work I had to do, and since the survey routinely gets a couple hundred replies that I go through, I decided to make it a little harder for people to go over the limits. Don’t bother asking for people’s names or trying to validate the results. I’ve tried. People don’t want to put their names, and validation encourages people not to submit...AND doesn’t prevent cheating...so is really pointless. Just keep it anonymous, after four rounds I can say...that works best.

3. And, speaking of people going over the limits, and cheating...people will cheat. No matter how clear you are that number of votes don’t matter, no matter how much you insist that whatever data you’re collecting will only be used in so-and-so a way...you will spot people “cheating,” for various definitions of the word cheating. People who vote for their own works. People will submit multiple surveys. People will “ballot box stuff” for their favorite(s). People will list more than the maximums you’ve asked them to. People will submit works from other ships, and - though it’s never happened to me - if you make it fandom-general I’ll lay heavy odds at least one dumbass will submit for some other fandom entirely. It happens in different permutations every time, some more obvious than others, but it happens. And the conclusion I reached is...so fucking what? In the end, since the idea is to highlight as many different great works as possible...screw it. Let people vote for themselves. Let people ballot box stuff. Let people submit multiple surveys, or list more than whatever maximums you’ve set. In the end, since every work is treated as equal and one vote is worth as much as a hundred...if they’re cheating to up the vote count, it’s irrelevant, and if they’re cheating to vote for more works, then yay! more works to include! and basically the only thing I’ve found that reduces cheating is to make it absolutely clear to people that I’d really rather they not but ultimately I can’t stop them, so do their thing I guess? And it does help. I got less cheating each time I do it, or at least less that I’m able to catch lol. (as a side note - the one exceptions is the “works for others ships.” Those you can see listed on the “INELIGIBLE” sheet of the spreadsheet I link below, but I don’t add them to the AO3 collection.)

4. Spreadsheets are your best friend. You’re going to want some way to organize the data you’re collecting. I’ve got a public version of the sheet I use that you can see here. It’s pretty similar to my “private” version, except the private version includes actual vote counts, separated by which time(s) I did the survey that the work in question got votes. I mostly use that data so I can do comparisons over the years (“this year X works were added to the collection that were never in it before!”) and because I like numbers. However, depending on how exactly you plan to use the data, you may not even need to tally vote counts, and you could do one that’s more similar to my public version. Also, if you make an AO3 collection, you’re going to want some way to track which works you’ve invited, which have been added, etc., cause otherwise it’s just a nightmare to keep track of. (a little more on this later).

5. Decide how and where you’re going to share your data - as an AO3 collection? As a public spreadsheet? On social media? Maybe you want to make a side Tumblr just for it? Or a Discord server? etc. etc. Like, I’ve got a pillowfort group (though I hardly use it) and a channel in a Discord server (thanks again to the PB folks for making space for me!) with the AO3 collection being the main portal. You want to make sure that it’s advertised enough that people know it exists, and also be prepared that short term you’ll hear basically no feedback on whether people use it, and even long term it’ll be once in a blue moon and suddenly eight people will be like WAIT YOU’RE THE PERSON BEHIND THAT THING I LOVE THAT THING. In that respect it can feel a little thankless but I’ve definitely found that people do use it, it’s just that there’s no real way for people to let YOU know they’re using it (and, honestly...good? This isn’t really about us, after all, it’s about all these fic writers, the goal is to bring attention to them, not ourselves, we’re just a go-between for the writers and the readers.)

6. For making an AO3 collection, you’ll have to invite every single work individually. Some people have their accounts set to auto-accept invites, but otherwise whether the work actually gets added will depend on the authors. Some people will never accept the invite. Some people won’t know how to accept the invite. Some people will accept the invite and then subsequently remove their work. Some people have left these parts completely and will never even see the invite. That’s why it’s important to track who has added and who hasn’t, and periodically double check it (I double check every six months or so). For the people who don’t accept the invites for whatever reason, you can bookmark the item to the collection. HOWEVER, if you do this with your personal account, every single one of those bookmarks will be listed under your personal AO3, which is why I ultimately made the Faves survey its own account - it’s entirely to facilitate bookmarking. You can also use the “Bookmark External Work” feature to link to works that aren’t on AO3, and to tag them to whatever extent you want to. Here’s some examples of how I chose to bookmark external works.

7. Things will inevitably get complicated. Authors will change their names. People who do the survey will use shorthand you’ve never heard of for some fic you don’t know. People will misspell things and you’ll either recognize it even with the typo...or you won’t. People will vote for things that list eight different ships and you’ll have no idea which one is endgame. People will vote for things that have been deleted, or they’ll tell you it’s definitely on AO3 when it’s not, it’s on some other platform. The list of random things I’ve had to deal with is stupidly long and I’ve probably forgotten even more. Just...roll with it. Do your best. Ask for help (“Someone nominated a fic abbreviated as ABC to the collection and didn’t give the author and I have no idea what it is, help me Tumblr!”). And in the end, if you’ve done everything you can think of and you still don’t know...let it go. It’s just not that worth worrying about. And sometimes if you step away and look again in a few days you’ll figure out another way to search and it’ll pop up. But honestly I’ve got a handful of works I still haven’t been able to track down, and that one work that someone submitted that’s only available in Finnish and is explicit and behind a log-in wall on a small independent Finnish-only fic archive...well, I spoke to the author and confirmed the work exists, but otherwise...whelp, it’s not linked, and I did my best. That’s all you can do.

8. No matter what you do, someone somewhere will probably get upset about it. The first time I did the survey, when it got the most traction, I actually got a little hate, and I got some anons who were like “oooooo did you know that ~x~ is cheating” and I had a little “HOW DARE YOU NOT PLAY FAVORITES WHAT ABOUT MY PERSONAL FAVE?” and just...decide how you’re approaching the survey, and stick to your guns, and if anyone is a douche, hit the block button. And, related...

9. Transparency is most important imo. Not transparency for vote counts obviously, but transparency for what you’re doing, and why you’re doing it, and what you hope to accomplish. Make sure your goals are clear from the start (mine weren’t that first time, hence some of the problems I encountered) - if it’s to highlight as wide a range of works as possible, say that. If it IS to pick a favorite, say that too. Just be clear, and honest, and above board, and it should work out okay.

10. Side note...one of the saddest things about all this is that if you do it over an extended period you’ll see authors deleting their works. As such, I personally chose to download every work that gets a vote, that way it’s at least preserved. I then expanded that into a much larger archive that I’m still adding to all the time, trying to save as much Destiel as possible. But then, I’m an archivist at heart, whether you want to branch out in that kind of direction is up to you.

...okay, that’s everything I can think of. Hopefully I didn’t scare you too bad. I don’t know what fandom/ship you’re looking at but for perspective...first time I did the survey I got about 400 replies, and then the next two times it got about 200, and this most recent time it got about 300. I chose to do mine annually, on the assumption that gives some time for people to come and go for fandom and a lot of new works to get created, and I deliberately timed it for about a month after the biggest fandom event (the DCBB) that generates fics, to give people time to read those fics and consider them in their voting. For me, that means I happen to run the survey starting on January 1st, and I keep it limited to 15 days, since usually it tapers off anyway. But you could try experimenting with different schedules, or leaving it open all the time, etc., it just depends how much time you want to devote to monitoring and updating it. For me, I mostly want to do a big burst of work and then not have to think about it most of the rest of the time, lol.

So...questions? comments? thoughts? wanna tell me I’m dead wrong? I’m all ears, lemme know how I can help!