#but if there is then what the fuck have they got in polls that makes them so??
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ofpd · 1 day ago
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1st century roman siege of jerusalem dashboard simulator
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🐮 barkamtza
why does this shit always happen to me
#oh my goddd the ONE time it seems like people actually wanna hang out with me. #turns out they meant to invite kamtza instead #everyone hates me and i was SO fucking nice i offered to pay for the party #god i'm so pathetic. kms kms kms #they're gonna pay for this i swear #delete later
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📜 zekharya-ben-avkolas
Ok so obv it's not ok to sacrifice a blemished calf but the blemish is just on the eyelid? So maybe it's ok? But also and i don't want people to start going around thinking that it's ok to sacrifice blemished animals. But the thing is that if i don't bar Kamtza will tell the Romans we insulted them and that will be bad probably. And like no one likes bar Kamtza anyway will people really miss him..... but ugh neither of these seem like good things to do i don't feel like it's my place to make a decision about this :/
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🏛 vespasian reblogged
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🏺neronero
off to war wish me luck! 🇲🇪🏹
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🏺neronero
nvm guys. ✡️✡️
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🏛 vespasian
my turn lol
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🧑🏽‍🦳 not-an-airport reblogged
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🧑🏽‍🦳 not-an-airport
Hey everyone! These are difficult times, and some friends and I have put together some mutual aid resources for our community to have access to wheat, barley, wine, salt, oil, and wood! More info below the cut. Take care of yourselves! 🫶
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🧑🏽‍🦳 not-an-airport
fuck
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⚔️ biryonei-yerushalayim
anonymous asked:
Hey, I'm trying to ask this in good faith, and I hope you can take it that way. how can you possibly defend burning our grain stores. I understand that you want to radicalize more people but you're taking things too far. Jerusalem's blood is on your hands.
anon, what you need to understand is that the blame for the carnage in jerusalem lies primarily in the hands of the roman invaders and secondarily in the hands of the rabbis for refusing to resist. would you have told the hashmonaim not to resist their oppressors by any means necessary? just because this is getting inconvenient for you doesn't mean we shouldn't be doing it. it's frankly offensive that you'd imply that we, the defenders of jerusalem, should incur any blame for her current state.
#biryonim.answer #grain storage discourse
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🛡 goel-yisrael
did anyone else see the "zealot blocklist" going around lmaooo
#how do these liberals expect anyone to take them seriously #do they not have anything better to do.
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📚 stammaim reblogged
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stopbeingpoor-deactivated3830102
ughh why is my servant so incompetent! i deserve the best flour why doesn't he get it...
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stopbeingpoor
ykw i'll go get some myself. i'm desperate at this point i gotta do something
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stopbeingpoor
EWWWW update: i stepped in something NASTY. this is why i don't fucking go out oh my god im gonna die
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stopbeingpoor
gonna throw my gold & silver away for the good of the peasants or whatever it's not like it's any use to me when im literally dying -_-
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📚 stammaim
lmao look at this it's exactly what yehezkel was talking about! ur gold won't save you!
#yehezkel #marta b. baitos
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🕎 yalla-hapoel
🌿 amicus-iudaeorum asked:
Hey, love your posts! They're very informative about the Jewish perspective on this war. I'm just wondering whether you condemn the actions of the zealots? I don't really feel comfortable following someone who supports that.
are you fr.
#if youre seriously concerned about this idt this is the blog for you i fear
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🛡 goel-yisrael reblogged
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📖 ben-zakkai
⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️ lol
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🛡 goel-yisrael
? what does this mean
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🗡 abbasikkara
dw about it bestie
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🛡 goel-yisrael
ok 💗 yay 💗
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👩🏽‍🌾 discoursedumpblog
I've compiled a list of some of the most rabid zealots on this website. Remember, don't engage, just block and move on.
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🏛 vespasian reblogged
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🏛 vespasian
some jew got an audience with me & called me king (im literally not lol thats so disrespectful to the actual king + if i was king then he shouldve met w me much earlier??), i think i should kill him
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🏛 vespasian
AND my shoe is being so annoying. horrible day 👎
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📖 ben-zakkai
omg just came across this old post
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🏛 vespasian
OMG sorry i don't mean it anymore 🙏
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🫒 a-simple-yid
yirmiyahu tzadak...
#not to pretentiously quote tanakh but literally like. #hashiveinu hashem eilekha venashuva hadeish yameinu kekedem.
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textmel8r · 3 days ago
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even if the election wasn’t stolen there’s some real issues with transparency rn…. I’ve seen a helluva lot of people saying that their votes didn’t go through. If it makes me blue maga to say votes at the very least need to be recounted then fuck I guess I am blue maga 💀
no really i could talk about this shit for hours. you guys probably don’t know this but i actually am one of those autistic history “let’s play devil’s advocate 🤓” virgin losers in your history class, and i have been watching every single rally, news segment, interview, etc about this election. there are a few very real issues that back up the claim that this election was fraudulent.
(yap for those who care)
1. there is obvious russian interference. a concerning number of bomb threats called in by russia aiming at predominantly black populated counties, especially in swing states. it’s no surprise russia would be assisting trump with winning, as they have been in connection since 2020 while trump was not in office (which is illegal…)
2. so many reports of people’s ballots not being counted. go on tiktok, twitter, etc and look it up, there are literally thousands of examples of votes going undocumented, even for those who voted in person.
3. also trump supporters were just?? burning full ballot boxes??? and people are finding full boxes in the fucking woods and files falling off the back of cars that are supposed to transport votes. like what??
4. there were record turnouts to the polls this year, even upstaging 2020’s turnout. there were hundreds of thousands of new registrations created following the taylor swift endorsement, as well. so how is it that donald trump got the same amount of votes this year (even a little less than 2020) meanwhile harris lost 16 million democratic votes compared to last year?
5. no fucking shot trump won EVERY swing state. nope sorry i don’t buy that shit. because how did north carolina, a usual blue state whose citizens voted blue down the line for local politics, still turn out as a red state? this happened in other states as well.
7. trump has explicitly said incriminating shit during the campaign. he’s said things like “i’ve already got all the votes i need” and “i have a secret that’s going to help me win” and if you know anything about trump, then you know he just says he’s overt shit. this isn’t some well thought out code for something, he is just literally telling us that he has a secret that is going to get him his win.
8. speaking of trump, that man posts on truth social (his version of twitter) 178282182882 times a day. so it’s really fucking strange for him to not be gloating about his win. in fact, he barely celebrated.
9. elon musk ran a (illegal) give away that promised a million dollars a day to a random republican voter in key swing states.
10. the whole alfie oakes shit. he is a close associate and contributed to donald trump, he was involved in the insurrection at the capitol and he’s just heavily involved with maga and trump as a whole. his house just got raided by law enforcement and they seized a shit ton of documents and his laptop. there is a chance this is election related as well.
okok i’m done but remember democrats, you’re not crazy for questioning the legitimacy of this election, because lord knows if even 1% of this shit happened and kamala harris won, the conservatives would literally shit their diapers and cry and bitch and moan for another 4 year. this is nothing compared to the dramatics of maga on january 6th 2021, this is just us exercising our 1st amendment right to question something that warrants questioning.
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crossbackpoke-check · 8 months ago
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it’s all the rest of what i want with you
connor dewar/brandon duhaime :: 8k
Summary:
“Brandon,” Connor says with a sigh. “There’s no baby in there.”
“Not yet,” Brandon says. Connor feels his stomach twist, almost like what he would imagine a baby kicking to feel like.
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in these trying times of dewvorce, may i offer you 8k of pwp inspired by @stillfertile’s wonderful art which i had. several breakdowns about 🫶 anyway please enjoy!!!
#OFFICIAL FIC ANNOUNCEMENT 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️ i wish i had pretty fic graphics but alas i have No Skill and also. so much work i should be doing bu#HI SHE’S HERE i would love to say this is a complete surprise drop except i have Anxiety & i needed to ask you guys about it beforehand#in my defense i started writing this in like. january far before any tragedy occurred#because square asked about my tags on their dewey2 art and she spawned like. a million more thoughts about it#including the part where i got absolutely kicked in the face with the lightning vision of those two lines.#like those two lines are the first actual lines of the fic i wrote ajdhkwdiowdjiw ANYWAY please be nice to me i know i am always like#‘this is not the first real fic i ever thought i’d post’ and if i had a nickel i’d have three but this is the first pwp i’ve ever posted#and it’s 8k and it’s not a fic for an exchange (although technically i did very much write this for the dewey^2 hivemind so.)#i have SO many things to say i have so many comments on this doc also i couldn’t pick a title for the LONGEST time and i finally decided on#this one but the full quote was too long:#all the rest of what i want with you that scares me shitless#so. i was angling SO hard to make a yung gravy lyric as a title bc i saw the video of him at a wild game but i couldn’t find a good one#and instead y’all got a very sentimental title l m a o.#liv in the replies#shout out to the extended universe this lives in and also my unhinged comments in the docs.#if you liked fun fuck a baby in him friday i’ll be here all week i promise i am the exact same in the comments as i am in the tags 🫡#the NUMBER of times i wrote something in this by pulling it out of my ass and then actually went back and did the research & was RIGHT is.#far too high. also the amount of coincidental things that dropped while i was writing this (yung gravy song about pregnancy AFTER i wheeze#laughed myself into a yung gravy title the athletic player poll confirming my restaurant & bar choices from googling ‘st. paul good bars’…)#also if anybody got advice on formatting for these little announcements. help. this is different from my miro/luka one &i’m still not happy
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witheredgardenparty · 5 days ago
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I will never forgive a single one of you
#There will come a day when your grandchildren see your faces in the history books and spit on you#“We survived the last one” no we all didn't#I lost so many#so many#His policy changes almost got me killed twice alone#I mean that literally -- in the hospital trying not to die because of the shit he did#Later today I am going to have to face a room full of [redacted] and promise to do everything I can to protect them and not give up#all while pretending I'm not already sitting in my grave#Of course I'm going to fight of course I am but Christ alive fuck you people who think this is a game#and honestly fuck everyone who looked at what happened and didn't see massive voter suppression for what it was#“why didn't so-and-so shift blue” because they challenge mail-in ballots and purge the rolls late and shut down polling locations#and if they call you a “felon” you can't vote. And guess what sort of people they like to make felons?#Reminding myself through gritted teeth that if almost half of Texas voted blue - that's a higher population than some blue states have#It's a lot of people. It's so many people. So many many people tried#People out there care and are trying don't forget them don't abandon them don't condemn them in the hatred#Welp.#If you're still reading this I'm so sorry#If you're USAmerican remember: if they come knocking on your door asking for the neighbor in your attic - you don't know shit#You have never seen a shoplifter in your life. You never had nor never knew anyone who got an abortion.#You don't know any queer people. Especially not a trans person. Especially especially not a trans kid.#Social media sites are not safe for communication. It's not a game okay. Get real good at being careful#Buy an air cleaner and a water filter and get ready to keep an eye on food contamination outbreaks#Get to know your local farmers#Buy a chicken. Name it Reggie. Reggie gonna give you eggs.#Living is an act of defiance. Fighting is an act of love
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toytulini · 3 months ago
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OP of that music poll was joking but theres ppl in the notes who Arent and even more ppl in the notes who are like "i dont listen to anything past 2014!!" and thats mostly what i was pointing out as Also Weird. like its FINE. if youre enjoying the music like its literally fine like who give a shit. but it is also a little weird. possibly weirder than the op, who was joking, but im sure she also listens to music weird, bc who is fucking listen to music normal??
#toy txt post#define listening to music normal first. and it will reveal the way in which you listen to music Weird probably#and again: ITS FINE. VALUE NEUTRAL USAGE OF WEIRD HERE#the person in the notes posting 'reading comprehension questions' fair enough until you start asking 'what kinda posts is op usually known#for?' you are asking this as if i am intimately aware of op and recognize her url on sight and know exqctly what kind of post to represent.#all i know about her is that she is trans and got her blog nuked unjustly and remade. that doesnt tell me shit?#anyway. you ppl sending fucking hate anons to her and calling her dude are not weird youre just downright rude. chill#one its rude as fuck and you shouldnt do that to ppl. two youre certainly not going to interest her in your favorite songs#if i made a joke poll like that and got that many notes id stop listening to anything older than 2024 out of spite and hatred#they should really make it so you can turn reblogs on polls off#like if youre worried about ppl editing the contents of the poll to make it look like everyone wants to explode infants or something#just make it so the only part of the post you can edit is to turn reblogs off at least like godddamn#i have Normal Reasons for having this opinion. if you look into them i will explode you with my mind(this is a joke but also. do not bring#up the flowers)#joking about the consequences of it. not about not wanting it brought up. if you do that it will simply make me#annoyed and upset :)
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hoperays-song · 2 years ago
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Analysis: Suki and Jerry’s Actual Jobs
What are Suki and Jerry’s actual jobs in Crystal Entertainment? This has been on my mind since I first watched Sing 2, mainly due to the jobs they appear to have don’t line up with what we’re told they actually are. These are my thoughts on their actual company roles with explanations, I hope you enjoy! 
Ps. I know there’s more evidence in this theory for Suki than Jerry but in my defense, we rarely actually see Jerry working and not just following Jimmy so...
- <3 Gooseless
Suki: The Chief Communications Officer (CCO)
Ok, so while we’re introduced to Suki as a talent scout, she actually doesn’t really act like one. In fact, a true talent scout would likely not have been as recognizable to avoid biased treatment. Nor would they have left before the full show is concluded as to be able to give an accurate review. She acts more like a company higher up, being recognizable and known in the industry, and seems to be in a position where she might go to shows after actual scouts have previewed them if they were going conflicting results, but she does not behave like an actual talent scout (again the leaving during the show).
Instead, she is constantly with both Jimmy and Jerry. She is constantly on her phone, on a tablet, talking to someone, she never stops working. She was in the room when Porsha’s firing was been discussed. And if she was a low level employee (like a talent scout), she definitely wouldn’t have been in that room. Jimmy considered that an embarrassment, he would limit the people who saw the direct response of said event. In fact, the only people in the room were Suki, Jerry (aka Jimmy’s right hand man), The Crystals, and the personal bodyguards who I can almost guarantee signed NDAs. 
She also was important enough for Jimmy and Jerry to get her before going to the theatre. Why would you get a random talent scout to go to handle the people currently putting on a show behind your back? You wouldn’t, because that wouldn’t be necessary. A talent scout would not be helpful in that situation at all. The only logical conclusion I could come up with was that she isn’t a talent scout.  
But do you know who would be privy to all the public and private workings of the company, who would be privy to all the information of the events going on? Especially since it’s their job? A chief communications officer. They run the publicity of the company, the contracts with other groups, and even the talent scout division (in rare cases). And Suki seems to handle this kinda stuff even within the movie. She is constantly typing what could be things like drafting news briefings or public statements about the show, which as it is high risk for the company, would likely be made by her. She is also there in every single big media moment of the company and seems to already know what’s going on (ie. didn’t react like Jimmy did in the news report scene, she already knew what was going on).
Also, just based on Jimmy’s personality, I don’t think he’d let a regular PR Officer/Talent Scout into any of those events either, so the only people in that room are heavily trusted by him. So, Suki being the CCO and technically on equal company footing as Jerry makes much more sense than her being a talent scout. Plus, her constantly acting as a line of communication between the company and the show is a job that occasionally falls on CCOs in high risk cases so, it makes sense she would be doing that as well.
Jerry: The Chief Operating Officer (COO)
Now Jerry… Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. He’s not a personal assistant. Unless this company has the world’s worst internal management structure in history, he cannot be a personal assistant. Because that would mean the one person, Jimmy, is running everything. Now as the CEO, he would be in charge in a broad sense and almost definitely has a few personal assistants, but that being Jerry doesn’t make sense in a corporate sense. 
In fact, we see him work doing the movie a few times and, while his desk is situated like a secretary’s, we don’t actually see him treated as one by other employees. Jimmy does, but Jimmy treats everyone that way so it doesn’t count.
Instead we see the hotel calling Jerry directly when something goes wrong. They didn’t call Jimmy, or Suki, or any other staff member, they called Jerry. Now, that’s a role that falls onto chief operating officer, aka the person who is in charge of the day to day of the company. He would be working closely with the chief communications officer and the CEO because his work directly overlaps with theirs. 
The CEO would be relying on him to handle the tiny details (like things happening with the hotel or media interactions on site) while the CCO would be relying on him to help with the presenting of the company and its work. And once again, I don’t think Jimmy would trust a secretary or personal assistant that much. But with a COO, if he goes down, so do they. It would be safer involving them in his plans. Also, the way other employees seem to differ to him wouldn’t being doing so if he was working exclusively with Jimmy (like a secretary or personal assistant), he has to have a larger company role.
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thegreatestheaver · 8 months ago
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Is it a hot take to say re7 is the scariest resident evil game …
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psy-ay-ay · 1 year ago
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I open the naruto tag and see a really cute comic about someone colliding into naruto and him accidentally kissing sasuke, being very naruto and sasuke about it but then reaching out their hands again and kissing again. It's cute. I try to insert different characters into the design of the person colliding into naruto. it could be kiba or maybe that guy who collided into naruto the first time he accidentally kissed sasuke at the academy. i think maybe people in the comments have better ideas than me and open the notes. First one reads 'I did not cheat on my wife, someone collided into me and i accidentally kissed this man'. I remember why I am not in the great yaoi fandom of naruto.
#i think saddest part is i was so happy to see that victims of yaoi poll#and all of sakura's propaganda was about how sasuke is gay and she is a lesbian and why are people even threatened by her presence around#sasuke and shitting on her. and it's like that's just another facet of victims of yaoi!!! just saying she is a lesbian anyway is not the#'be normal about women' idea that you think it is#i'm so tired of this. this is why you only get fanart and 'funny lmao' posts on this blog now#naruto#naruto women i'm so sorry#why are you assuming that they are cheating on their wives or that they have wives if they like each other like ffs if you dont like#something in canon ending just fucking disregard it why twist it into disgusting things showcasing your misogyny#the idea that sasuke would marry sakura if he doesn't like her is SO BIZARRE to me. have you met sasuke?#do you really think he would do something out of pity or for social image or pressure or anything? you can NOT make sasuke do anything he#doesn't want to and it's not like they got married really early like right after the war? there was A LOT of time for BOTH of them to#consider their feelings for each other AND for other people#so i'm equally okay with sasuke doing his travels and arriving at the conclusion that he like sakura or naruto and wants to marry them#but what we would never do is marry someone and then cheat because he loves someone else#i personally don't even think that there's a possibility of sasuke and sakura getting married and realising much later that they dont like#each other as partners like they already have time to figure that out. i think it's canon they do spend a lot of time together travelling#and such before having sarada. oh i am not even going to talk about people saying sasuke is with sakura only because of sarada or something#the only other valid way of looking at it is that beautiful post about sakura sasuke and karin travelling together because that's just so#fucking good
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divorcemotif · 2 years ago
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"oh hey a real person followed me, I should look at their blog"
soon
"...perhaps I should listen to Eskew."
oh boy you caught my blog after an exciting weekend lmao
I absolutely recommend eskew! I don't have a lot of coherent thoughts, since I got into it over a very physically and mentally draining summer job and have yet to relisten, but it left an impression for sure. I will say what there is of an overarching narrative felt a bit jolty to me in places, for lack of a better term— I think you get the vibe of a show that’s figuring itself out somewhat as it goes, however the ideas are very interesting and I could make a long list of moments that really really affected me. my recent posts probably give a good sense of what I liked most abt it; david ward is just. endlessly interesting as a character imo. the writing’s good— there's a kind of.. ironically humorous edge to a lot of my favourite episodes, something I’d have to relisten to properly articulate. there's a tic of referring to one-off characters by a title instead of a name— the correspondence editor, the architect, the witness— that scratches something in my brain. in contrast with the slimy fleshiness of much of the horror, the sound design is just nice, actually— the rain never stops in eskew and the tone of the narration stays pretty level no matter what’s being described. there are only two narrators and I found both of their voices pleasant enough to close my eyes to on the subway after a long day. very solid show
#ask#eskew#I don’t usually post this much abt eskew but that jonathan sims vs david ward most sopping wet podcast man poll awakened smth in me .#got me itching to write like 1000 words abt how it’s ultimately an unfair comparison#but I havent listened to either podcast in A While so I don’t trust myself to be like. right. abt anything#I’ll just say.#eskew has its narrator in the middle of the horror right off the bat. it’s more immediately immersive and far less grounded—#early episodes you have rlly no guarantee that anything david is perceiving is real or what ‘real’ even means within the rules of his world.#even later on it’s p ambiguous how many of the people he interacts with are actually people and this uncertainty gets exploited a lot#basically. in tma the world looks broadly like our own and is being affected by outside forces where in eskew the setting IS the horror#if I were writing an essay abt this I might make it abt the ways each show plays w humour and absurdity—#the caricature of jon’s initial presentation is a grounding force at the start#where eskew consistently uses absurdity to unground you and keep you uncertain#ofc the initial security to this divide between jon and the statements gradually dissolves#but tma just has a lot more structure the whole time w both the epistolary kind of format and the world.eskew gets. abstract .#what I’m saying is david is infinitely wetter and more miserable bc his story both requires and allows for it. tonally.#and because the rain literally and metaphorically never stops.#david never gets a fucking break even when he gets a fucking break bc he can never KNOW if he’s really getting a fucking break#or if the city that loves him soso much is about to turn on him#(also hes far more chaotic morally I think on account of just being. further out of touch).#at least tma has enough supporting characters who are definitively real people by the rules of its universe#for you to have found family expectations it can repeatedly subvert.#david is a half drowned rat.#. however jonathan sims has more fans and could never lose 😔
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klavierpanda · 2 years ago
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Okay, because I'm curious, can any non-USAmericans post polls either on desktop or the app?
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thefoundations0frevenge · 2 years ago
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pey-up · 5 months ago
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just want to check something totally unrelated to my irl life ahahaha
Please if you said no to either, tell me why! And dont say something like "theyre under 18, it's their parents decision" because kids deserve to be able to have a say in their body and looks<33
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skipppppy · 11 months ago
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No offence but I feel like some people got a little too comfortable with telling people to touch grass and swung all the way round to just straight up shaming anyone who might have a less active social life than them to feel better about themselves. “She should be at the club” was a really funny meme until people started acting like fucking middle school bullies towards people who don’t go out with their friends a lot. All those drinking/drugs/sex milestone polls were fun to engage with until it became a wierd circlejerk making fun of people who haven’t done those things before. People on twitter are once again dogpiling someone for wanting queer social spaces that don’t revolve around alcohol or loud music and telling them it’s their own fault for not having friends.
Like I get that nightclubs and sex have strong ties to queer culture and are often the first targets in the hellscape of respectability politics. It’s important we remember our roots and protect these spaces from conservative scrutiny. I mean that. They are important. But just on a surface level it seems like people are starting to see having an inactive social life as some kind of moral failing which…it’s not. I feel like an insane person for feeling like I have to say this on the fucking queer autism website but like. You aren’t inherently a bad person if you don’t have friends. You aren’t “falling behind” if you haven’t had your first kiss in your 20s or never done drugs. The real world isn’t a movie. And if you see someone who doesn’t go out much and instinctually think “wow what a terminally online loser. I bet their social life sucks because they’re a sheltered creep and not because of systemic barriers beyond their control” you need to have a long hard look at why you feel that way.
There are very real barriers that prevent isolated people from finding community and connection. Do you think you’re superior for being able to breach them? Time, money, sobriety, accessibility, none of those factors were a problem for you, so it shouldn’t be for them, right? Right?
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neverendingford · 1 year ago
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.
#tag talk#character fight polls aren't which character is better it's which fandom is bigger and I really fucking want to stop seeing them#I have polls blacklisted and people aren't teaching things I have to blacklist everyone's individual unique poll tournament tag#because they fucking tag every single character and fandom in their 64 character bracket#I'm so tired of seeing Shion from no. 6 put up against every single other character for every single trait he's got#do you really think Danny Phantom is actually the superior white haired dude or is the Df fandom just massively bigger than the no. 6 fandom#this is basically just the post about demographic maps that are just population density maps. your stupid tournament isn't doing anything.#some polls are funny and cool and neat and interesting but 99% of them are not#like. hey quick question do you wear white socks grey socks black socks or other color stocks#make sure to reblog so I can also find out what color socks your followers who aren't my followers wear because this is imprtant information#why do we need to argue whether Shion is better or worse than some other character who is gay in a government rebellion#this is supposedly about me hating stupid polls but it's really actually about people including my favorite boi Shion in stupid polls#leave him alone leave him alone leave him alone he's gone through enough I know the fandom is relatively small don't remind me#let me enjoy my bittersweet gay anime in peace okay#just cause I don't kin him anymore doesn't mean I can't still have strong feelings about him
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letstrip13 · 28 days ago
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୨୧ - ride
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summary: what happens when you and chris are left alone in matt's van
warnings: smut, unprotected p in v (idk why people say 'p in v' but i'll go with it), lowkey sort of in public
word count: 578
author's note: the poll results are NOT what i was expecting at all but those fics will be coming soon
author's note 2: happy thanksgiving to the other canadians if you see this ❤️
author's note 3: vote on my hcs here! tbh i have a strong feeling which one is gonna win
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“feels s- fuck- so good,” chris groans as he guides your hips, bouncing you up and down on his cock as whimpers and moans fly from your lips.
this wasn't meant to happen. you should not be riding your boyfriend in the backseat of his brother's car. it was wrong on so many levels but you couldn't help yourself. you, chris, nick, and matt went to pick up dinner but there was a half hour wait since it was so busy. matt and nick decided to wait inside the restaurant, leaving you and chris alone. bad idea.
what started as some innocent kisses turned into a heated, needy makeout which resulted in you sinking down on your boyfriend's cock and crying out in the confined space of the van. in the moment, you were grateful you had put a skirt on this morning. it made things much easier for the both of you.
he bucks his hips up to meet yours every time you sink down on him, driving himself deeper inside you to hit all the right spots. “chris-” you gasp out.
“doing so good f’me, baby. y’look so pretty riding me like this,” he says in a husky voice as he continues to guide you, helping you speed up.
the van is filled with the sounds of heavy breathing, the rhythmic pattern of your skin slapping each time you make contact, chris groaning, and your moans and whimpers. every window is fogged completely from the heat of your bodies and the intensity of it all.
that warm pressure of your impending orgasm starts forming within you. “mmph, chris, m'so close,” you say with a loud moan. his hands move from your hips to your ass, squeezing the plump flesh as you take control and use his cock to get yourself off.
overwhelming waves of pleasure wash over you; your movements come to a stop as your legs begin to shake and your walls clench around chris. you bury your face in his shoulder, biting down to muffle the scream of pleasure that threatens to escape your throat.
the sounds and the sensations coming from you are all too much for chris and he follows right behind you, shooting his hot seed into you as you come to a rest on top of him.
you hold each other, slowing your rapid breaths and soothing each other for a moment, enjoying the aftermath of it all.
your head shoots up as you seem to remember exactly where you are. chris senses your slight urgency and as if he can read your mind, he lifts you off him and rummages through the center console of the car. he pulls out a wad of napkins and does his best to clean you both up.
he re-adjusts his pants while you look for your panties he had tossed to the floor. you pull them back on quickly as he exits the car to throw the napkins away. you lean forward to the driver's seat to turn the air conditioning on.
chris gets back in the car and soon the heat, fogginess, and even the smell of sex dissipate from the car. ‘perfect timing,’ you think to yourself as you see matt and nick from afar, walking out of the restaurant with the bags of takeout. you turn the AC off, resting your head on chris’ shoulder, both of you letting out a relieved sigh at what you just got away with.
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gojos-version · 2 months ago
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What a slutty concubine
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Pairings- Y/N x Hein era! Sukuna
Summary- Your village gave you to Sukuna as an offering, so you became one of his concubines. He seems to ignore your presence for weeks until today.
Warnings- Monster fucking (if Hein era Sukuna counts as that), pet name (little one because you're physically smaller than him and he's 8ft. brat is used), his tummy mouth is used, mating press, double penetration, size kink, tummy bulge, very light choking, doggy style, full nelson and no protection.
Word count- 2.5k
Proof read- ✅
A/n- Hello!! This is the result from the poll i did yesterday! I really hope you all enjoy this as much as I did writing it :) I told yall id cook and make it filthy >:P Please feel free to request anything or drop any suggestions!! I hope you have a lovely day <33
⋆ ✩°。⋆ 𖦹。˚ ⋆ ✮ ༺ ⟡ ݁₊ ⊹ ა ✧ ໒ ⊹ ₊ ݁ ݁⟡ ༻ ✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩ ⊰⊱ ✩°。⋆ 𖦹。˚ ⋆
“Master Sukuna requests all of you to be lined up outside his chambers.” Uraume’s voice rings out, making you stop what you were doing. You nudge the woman next to you and whisper, “What’s going on?”, she nudges you forward softly whispering, “The king does this a few times monthly, or every few days depending on his mood. He chooses one of us to spend the night with.” She grins, “Come, let us go now or he’ll be mad.” You nod your head nervously and follow closely behind her. 
Spend the night with him? You think to yourself. What does that mean? Your heart races thinking it could mean..he’d kill you.. Or.. you stop yourself from thinking about that and shake your head. Not the time. It's not like he'd choose you anyway. He’s completely ignored you for weeks. You kneel down next to the other concubines bowing your head respectively. You hear his loud thump thump thump of footsteps. You want to look up at him but you can't bring yourself to. “They are here as you requested, Master.” you hear Uraume say and then Sukuna hums. “Excellent”, you feel his eyes scanning around the room, your heart racing feeling his gaze on you. 
“You. Come with me.” He orders, you lift your head up and Uraume nods their head at you, “Everyone else you are dismissed.” they order out. You feel your mouth go dry as the other concubines glare at you, some scoffing as they walk back to the room. The one you were talking to before smiles at you, giving you an encouraging “Don’t worry you can do this! Let me know how you go, okay? I’m Akari!”, You let out a small smile to her, “O-okay.. Thank you Akari, I’m y/n” you introduce yourself back. You didn't talk much to anyone when you got here, you did speak to Akari for a bit but never really got the chance to introduce yourself or know her name.
“Y/n, come. You don't want the King to be infuriated.” Uraume interrupts, you swallow thickly nodding your head and follow them into Sukuna’s chambers. You grip the sleeve of your kimono as you trail closely behind Uraume. They knock on the door, “You may enter.” Sukunas deep voice trails out. Your heart races as Uraume steps to the side and gestures for you to walk in. with shaky legs you walk into the room and the door shut with a soft click! “Don’t be afraid, little one. Come.” He orders. For a moment you take him in, 4 big muscley arms, a giant mouth on his abdomen, its expression mirroring his face. He's got 2 arms crossed and the other 2 by his side, all 4 of his eyes watching you. You step closer to him, standing in front of him. “What is it that you want, My Lord?” you ask, trying not to let your voice shake. He raises a brow and grins, “Answer me this, little one, are you pure?” Pure? Does he mean a virgin? If he's not happy with my answer what if he kills me?
“Um.. I am not pure” You answer truthfully. You've been with only one man in your life but, in the village you lived in before you were offered to Sukuna. You had a happy relationship with your boyfriend but god he didn't even say anything as the villagers pushed you towards Sukuna screaming out you were the offering. You see him hum thoughtfully. “Normally I'd kill you for it but since you were given as an offering, I'll give you a chance to please me.” Your eyes widen, you've only really done it once with your boyfriend. It was a fresh relationship before all this happened! It might not have been the best but to you it was more than enough.
“T-thank you, Lord Sukuna.” You bow politely. Now what? Do you strip? Do you wait for him to kiss you? Do you get on the bed???? His voice interrupts your thoughts, “Strip and sit on the bed.” He orders as he turns around to take off his own kimono and he hangs it, while you step out of your kimono and undergarments. Hesitantly you sit on the bed laying on your back. “Good.” He praises, he crawls on top of you and takes your lips in his. You kiss him back and god you feel his tongue dominating yours, your body heats up, his tongue working against yours making you moan softly into his mouth, it feels like electricity shooting through your veins from a simple kiss.
Your now ex?? boyfriend never made your body react this way with a simple kiss. His lips part from yours and he starts nibbling at your throat. “How many times was he inside of you?” He hums against your skin. Your mouth runs dry, “U-uh once”, You hear a hum of satisfaction. Sukuna moves down to your breasts sucking on your nipple harshly, groping and fondling the other one. You feel yourself get damp, slick dripping down your sopping cunt down to your ass. You've never gotten this wet this quickly. You were almost concerned you got your period early from how goddamn soaked you felt. One of his hands goes down, touching your tummy down to your cunt and oh he laughs when he feels how damp you are. “Look at how wet she is” he smirks, his palm cupping your cunt. Your heart stops when you feel something wet and slimy against your sopping cunt. “Relax, it's just a mouth.” He grunts out, putting more pressure against it. You gasp out a moan, your hands reaching out to grip his shoulders.
“L-L-ord- Ah-!” You moan out as the tongue on his palm pushes deep inside of you, bullying its way into you. “Yeah? Feels good, hm?” He says smugly, sitting back on his heels to watch you, he can see your slick dripping down your thighs and making a wet spot on the mattress under you. You feel a knot in your stomach tightening up making you gasp and moan wildly. “S-suk-una-! A-ah! C-clooooosee!!” you whimper out gripping the sheets with a steel grip, your walls clenching around his tongue. Suddenly he takes his palm off of you, “That’s ‘Lord Sukuna’, little one.”, “I-i’m s-sorry!” You say a bit too loudly. You watch as he slips his undergarment down revealing not 1 but 2 thick, long cocks. 
Your eyes widen and your mouth runs dry. “M-my L-Lord I-im not sure i can-” He cuts you off glaring at you, “You will take them.” your heart races. ‘It looks like 1 is painful. How the hell am I gonna be able to take both?’ You think to yourself, your body feels really hot, you're breathing heavily watching his every move; spreading your legs in anticipation. He notices and smirks, he hovers over you propping your legs up to your chest. You are folded in half your cunt in clear view, so soaked with your ass hole in his view too. He takes his top cock and rubs the tip on your slit, bumping your clit, his precum and your slick mixing together. You can hear his cock and your sopping cunt connecting and every move he moves his cock up and down your slit you can hear the wet squelches your cunt makes. 
He starts to slowly push the tip in, immediately the stretch stings from the sudden intrusion. “Calm yourself.” He mumbles but god he won't admit it outloud, your warm wet cunt clenching around his tip makes him want to shove his entire length into you and fill you oh so full of his cum. You nod your head blearily trying to relax yourself as you feel him sink his cock into you. 2 of his arms grip your thighs, pushing your ankles to your head while his other top arms grip the headboard. He thrusts the first few thrusts slowly allowing you to adjust but after that? His thrusts speed up to an inhuman pace, his mushroom red tip slapping against your cervix hard. You don't moan, you scream out from how heavenly you feel right now, if it's possible somehow above that. Suddenly his left top arm leaves the headboard and his palm covers your mouth, a mouth forming on his palm and it shoves its tongue down your throat making you let out muffled moans it greedily swallows. Sukuna looks down and god he could cum right then and there at the sight of your stomach having a bulge from how big he is. When he thrusts in the bulge is right there and when he pulls back to shove his needy cock into you again and again the bulge disappears and reappears with each motion. You feel a knot form and you feel like you're about to explode. You can't even warn him because he has his hand covering your mouth with its tongue down your throat.
Your drenched cunt grips his cock like a vice, your eyes roll back and you sink somehow further into the mattress and you see not stars, pure white as you start shaking from how good you felt. You hear him grunt out a few curses and he fills you to the brim of how much cum comes out. He lets go of your legs and removes his hand off your mouth. With a swift motion he flips you over, on all fours. “We aren’t done yet, brat I’ve got a lot more in me.” He lines up behind you and pushes his bottom cock into your cunt making you moan out in surprise. “T-there's- more-? A-ah!” You whimper out feeling his tummy mouth's tongue licking your ass, the hole specifically. He stills inside of you breathing heavily and his tummy mouth stops dampening your hole, his top cock bumping against your hole making you shiver in anticipation. 
“P-please..you can put it in..” and oh you feel so pathetic for saying that when he smirks and laughs. “Oh? You’re not so scared now, hm? What happened to your complaining, brat?” He mocks, his tip circling your hole. “I-i’m warmed up now- i didn't mean it before- Lord Sukuna..” You add, not wanting to make him mad. You definitely didnt want to lose your head, especially mid fuck. “Mhm, sure little one.” He laughs and starts pushing the tip in making you gasp and cover your mouth, not wanting to be too loud. He sinks his top cock into your ass making your body feel like jelly; your head slumps against the pillow. 
You let out a string of muffled moans feeling him loom over your body as he begins thrusting both of his cocks in each of your holes. God he was going to destroy you. You feel his hips pistoning against yours, pelvis and balls slapping making a lewd plap! Plap! Plap! Each time he abuses your cervix. Both your hands grip the pillow with all your might, “M-my L-Lord-A-ah!” You squeal out as you feel his cocks so deep inside of you. Your eyebrows pinch up as your head’s slumped into the pillow, your body being used like a fuck toy to satisfy his needs. 
You feel that familiar knot in your tummy, hazily you turn your head and look over your shoulder to find Sukuna breathing heavily on your shoulder, cheeks flushed with his lower set of eyes watching you and his other 2 shut. His mouth on his abdomen licks where you're both connected from your sopping cunt and your ass that's leaking with his precum. “Stop looking at me, brat.” He mumbles out, as you go to look away and apologise one of his hands wrap around your neck, not enough to hurt you but just enough to have the edge of your vision blurred. 
“I-I’m-” Is all you get to cough out before you're squirting messily over his cocks. “Yeah that's it, take it.” He grunts out before filling both of your holes, not to the brim but past the brim, his cum leaking out of you as he thrusts sloppily riding out both of your highs. You see white as you shake uncontrollably. His hand lets go of your throat and you gasp for air, suddenly when you think it's finally over it's not. 2 of his arms grip your thighs, the other 2 grab your middle and upper body which makes your body follow his as he lies backwards onto his back, 2 of his hands holding your thighs up to your chest pinning you against him as he thrusts both of his cocks messily into your holes. “H-ah! M-my L-Lord- p-pleaaasee-ah! Ah! Ah!” You scream out as he bottoms out inside of you with every quick, harsh thrust. 
One of his hands snakes down to your clit and a mouth forms on his palm, licking and sucking your clit making you scream and cry out wildly. “S-s-uk-n-ah!” You whimper out, he moans as your holes clench around him, he hisses slightly then covers your mouth with his free hand and a mouth forms on it the tongue, tongue fucking yours making drool from the corner of your mouth drip down to your chin. 
“You’re so nasty, brat” Sukuna hisses out and bites your neck, your moans and squeals muffled by his nasty mouth on his palm. Your body feels limp just sitting there and taking it. You can feel his heavy breaths against your upper neck where he's biting down, your eyes crossed as you mindlessly claw against his biceps. He's beefy. Huge biceps. “What a nasty, filthy, slutty concubine I have. I’d say your village made an exceptional offering.” You feel yourself flush at his words. Right now it feels like his cocks are trying to rip their way to your lungs, his tongue trying to go down your throat, his tummy mouth trying to soak your back and ass and his other mouth trying to bite your clit off. But right now the lines between pleasure and pain blurred the moment he stuffed you full of his cock.
Your puffy cunt and ass squeeze his cocks like you're milking him making a moan slip out of his pink, pouty lips. God youd scream right now if you could but thanks to his tongue fucking your mouth you can only let out muffled guttural sounds. Your stomachs warm tight knot knots up signalling you're oh so close to coming all over his cocks. Your vision feels faint and you feel light headed from the pleasure but youre so close. Your cunt and ass squeeze around his cocks as you squirt again soaking his pelvis and legs, your eyes roll back and the last thing you can feel is his warm cum filling you up once again as you pass out. “Brat, did you pass out?” When you give no answer he lets out a ‘Hmph’ as he pulls out of you, grinning in satisfaction as his cum leaks from your holes, your tummy plump from how much he finished inside of you. 
The sheets are soaked and so are the both of you. He puts a towel around his bottom half as his cocks soften up. “Uraume, take care of her.” He orders out, “Yes, sir” They nod, wrapping you in a towel and taking you to your bed. He hums to himself silently thinking, he’s definitely going to have more fun with you in the future.
⋆ ✩°。⋆ 𖦹。˚ ⋆ ✮ ༺ ⟡ ݁₊ ⊹ ა ✧ ໒ ⊹ ₊ ݁ ݁⟡ ༻ ✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩ ⊰⊱ ✩°。⋆ 𖦹。˚ ⋆
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