#but if the show was better or not exist at all to be fucking fair then maybe just maybe it would be a little less shit everywhere

[icarusredwings]

FINE ill review it DAMN

Review of hellraiser heartbreaker

Playlist:

Murder on the Dancefloor - Sophie Ellis Bextor

Tommy Gun - Royal Republic

Do I Wanna Know - Arctic Monkeys

Tell Me The Truth - Two Feet

Undisclosed Desires - Muse

Jolene - Beyonce

I Wanna Be Yours - Foxy Shazam

Chapter 1.

Yoo lmao young wolvie is like "whats wrong with this guy?" And wades SOOO excited to be beat the shit out of.

"Let my babt boy go >:( you big meanies" ahh wade you silly thing.

Sokay baby boy dawww

Flirty kitty it is

Remeber kiddos introducing two wolverines in a very small area is NOT advised. Young wolvie is like a kitten, his hair going up and growling because hes scared and Logan growling to admit dominance and maturity over him. Jeez lousie.

"Ahahah behave" wade honey I bet logan loves when you defend his place in your life.

Chapter 2.

Oooh what a good start I love how hes sitting here staring at wade because he knows him and logan is NOT having it. He knows what young pups try to do, they try to steal your mate and hes not about to let that happen.

Pfft logan really said "ah hell nah id fuck anything back then im coming too"

THEY FUCKING VAN GOUGHED ME HAS TO BE ONE OF THE BEST LINES EVER

“This is why you’re my favorite.”

Logan tried hard not to smirk at that. He failed.

That right there confirms that wade KNOWS logan is jealous already and is lowkey trying hard not to entice younger wolverine too much because he knows he's gonna kill him.

I should thank Wade then. I should thank him very thoroughly .”

Oh so youve chosen death little one?

"Gotcha you pointy little bitch!" Me at my splinters.

Aww man wade is being so careful with both of them, hes just less careful with you logan cause your younger has a collar on right now thats all.

Did you forget your wade is one of the top mercs there is? He never has NOT gotten a job done, which means handling wolvie with care you stupid old man.

Chapter 3.

Yo he already said no once. Leave it.

He finna kill you, you better start acting right.

“I said no.” There was no hint of playfulness or friendliness there. Just finality. It was enough to make Wolverine back down.

See? I told you. God you little degenerate. You need trained that no means no sheesh.

Yeah those hips are quick but they aint for you

Awwww logan got him rabbits like a good hound dog. Bro really said "man I need to impress my mate lemme go kill some innocent rabbits to eat"

Finding food and showing how reliable he could be to Wade.

“Oh Logan,” that was a new tone from Wade. Affectionate. Directed at Logan. Not at him.

Yes exactly.

Wade brought me home

He sure as fuck did. He might as well collar you with his name on it too. Big strong boy. All jealous of a little inexperienced wolvie. Psshh lets be so for real.

“I don't see a ring, asshole.”

“Don't. Fucking. Touch. Him.”

ALEXA!! PLAY SINGLE LADIES FOR THE EPIC FIGHT THATS ABOUTA HAPPENA

Suddenly, the tip of a katana pushed against Logan’s cheek.

“What did I say about fighting?” Wade panted, his white eyes glaring. There was that seriousness in his voice again. Logan rolled his eyes at him. The katana pushed into Logan’s cheek until a trail of blood came out.

tHIS IS WHAT I KEEP SAYING!! wade does NOT fuck around when it comes to jobs! He was taught and trained to ALWAYS finish the job. Hes terrifying bro I would literally kill myself if I knew this man was after me because id be afraid hed play with me and not kill me fast enough.

Both of you need to settle your shit. I can’t have you guys fucking my mission up

Exhibit B. Do NOT come between an adhd man and his dopamine and his dopamine is finishing missions and getting cash.

Ooh my poor baby though. Like seriously you need a shock collar and maybe neutered bc holy hell no is non existent to you but you just miss your own. Its a shame yours always dies. Its really not fair. But you cant just go stealing other peoples wades either. Hes limited edition baby. If him and his poolcule dont invite you you cant touchy.

Got inspired by PrettyPonyRideToHell’s fic Hellraiser, Heartbreaker

Never knew I needed Worst Wolvie having to deal with his little shit, younger self and with Wade ofc caught in the middle 😌✨

[bigskydreaming]

Imagine looking at a character whose entire premise is that in every stage of his life, he's made every version of himself into someone that inspires people to such a degree that EVERY SINGLE VERSION OF HIM has people wanting to literally follow in his footsteps in some way or another.....

And coming to the conclusion that like.....the most important things about him are the sum of all his trappings. His entirely homemade developed from scratch could not exist if not for what he already was and brought with him BEFORE crafting this newest version of himself trappings, with his greatest trait throughout all of it being his adaptability; his ability and willingness to roll with the punches and not try to simply weather any opposition or changes to his life but instead reshape himself as needed to better fit INTO whatever new shape his life and the world around him takes. All while managing to carry the most innate, fundamental and necessary aspects of himself from one version to the next. Thus every single version of himself is different but simultaneously every single version of himself is also undeniably the same person.

The strength of this character, to me, will always be that he can be so many versions of himself, he can become so many things, all without ever actually losing or discarding any of the aspects of himself he considers most essential, the things he's not willing to lose or give up just to keep going. Finding that road not taken by most, usually because most never even think to look for it as an option. But one that he's always able to find because the one trick he's mastered in his tumultuous life is threading that needle of not just digging in his heels in an unproductive way but rather being selective about when and where he makes a stand and decides "this is not a thing I'm willing to compromise about" but here are places and ways I can and will change and evolve and adapt in order to make it possible for me to hold onto these parts and keep them as they are.

And that's why its always so mind-boggling to me that so many writers can't seem to think of anything else to do with Dick Grayson other than invent some new reason for him to just....not be that person, or to like just take the character whose most basic fundamental trait he's NOT about to compromise on is willingly giving up his spot in the driver's seat of his own life.....and make him just a passenger in his own life and stories.

Dick Grayson at age nine....at age nineteen...at age twenty nine....the one core thread running through all versions of him is the only way he's standing back and letting you call the shots for him or putting him on the sidelines in some way is over his dead body.

HOW he goes about that, what that looks like, who he becomes and what aspects of himself he plays up at some times and what traits he lets fall by the wayside at other times when they offer less in service to his primary goal here....that changes constantly. He changes constantly.

But those changes are almost always (or at least they used to be/should be IN MY OPINION) made with the intention of keeping certain things about him or his life as consistent as possible.

That's the duality of Dick Grayson that I'm here for. The inherent contradiction of him that COULD allow for endless conflict and breaking new narrative ground in all sorts of ways if mined properly:

His eternal willingness to compromise....but only ever in pursuit of doubling down on the ways he's not willing to compromise.

Forever walking that tightrope in ways that only a kid born and raised in a circus could ever hope to.

[blessedshortcake]

I will never forget or forgive the damage Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon did for the autism community. "But Cupcake there are bigger issues to talk about when it comes to abelism" i KNOW but I am still fucking pissed off. People take Sheldon as an autism Icon when they have no idea what its like

My sister has an almost 2 year old who today was being fussy about sour cream touching her cheese while having dinner and refused to eat it unless it was Just cheese. She doesnt have the vocabulary to tell us so many things so half the time they only know she genuinely doesnt like something if she gags which is already an issue but whatever. My sisters shitty parenting skills are not the point here.

She sighed and made a comment how she "hopes she wont be like Sheldon, complaining that his peas touched his mashed potatoes". And I got this sinking mix of shame, anger and anxiety because what if she will be like that? That is a common autistic "problem", I have multiple friends on the spectrum who are like that as well

But because she knows it from that stupid show where its portrayed as just a thing he does and just a reoccuring inconviniance because hes fussy and self righteous she also associates it with Just Fussyness. She makes comments about how dramatic she is for not wanting to eat something she expressed her dislike for before

And yes sometimes kids are just like that where you can offer them some food and they dont want it, then retry with a different description (ex. A ham sandwich vs bread with butter and ham) and they will want it. That is one thing but traits sooooo heavily linked to autism being reduced to just a kid being dramatic is so fucking bad.

Im not sure if my niece is autistic. I am not a medical professional and also shes 2 but the comment is just... not it. BBT and YS keeps using autism traits to make a main character thats just quirky and fussy and annoying because thats his character and when people see those same traits in actual autistics they immediately label them as also just weird or dramatic or a handful

[welcometogrouchland]

*twirling my hair* do you like cassandra cain? if not, do u have a moment to hear about our lord and saviour cassandra cain?

CASSANDRA CAIN MY LOVE!!! She's definitely the batgirl I've read the most in terms of full issues, the first 30-ish issues of her solo by Kelly Puckett Scott Peterson and Damion Scott had me hooked and I binged them but fell off after Horrocks came on (nothing against him, he was just given an editorial mandate to make the book more romance focused and it turned me off because it felt so ooc for Cass to me lol. I do own some of the issues he wrote tho! I like the ones with art by Rick Leonardi). I'm not really caught up with modern comics (ish??) And I'm not reading anything dedicatedly but I hear she's in a new original book teaming up with a magic user? Neat! Good for her. I love her in the shadow of the batgirl graphic novel (IT'S SO GOOD)

[fourspiceblend]

It's funny cause for the most part of the game, I didn't really care about people's criticisms of Engage's writing and thought they were just mad the story was straightforward and didn't try to be overly complex... But now that I'm (finally) reaching the endgame, there's a loooot of weird plotholes that 3H would be jealous of lol.

[racefortheironthrone]

Nobody is making anyone go into scriptwriting. No one is born in a Netflix company town where their dad takes them into the script mines at age 12. Fuck writers who want to get paid more than once for the same job. They should only get residuals AFTER all the people who do REAL WORK, like construction, grips, costume, makeup & animators etc. Most of them are much better at their jobs than writers especially for streaming services, and they are what screenwriters can lean on & novelists can't.

People need to realize that the unions for white collar people like WGA or SIEU or NEA (public sector unions are why cops who kill the people they were supposed to serve & protect remain employed get pensions) is not the AFL-CIO or any other historical union fighting for the lives of the people who built the country's industry and made it run, any more than the NRA are the Minutemen of 1775 New England.

First, go fuck yourself, you fucking scab. No, seriously - you don't come to my blog and spout off about what workers deserve unions and decent pay and what ones don't, like it's your fucking decision. The intellectual labor that writers perform is just as real as any other work done on a film set - "all who labor by hand or brain" is the inherent logic of industrial unionism for a reason.

Second, writers aren't asking to get paid more than once: residuals are deferred pay, you absolute moron. In Hollywood, whether it's writers or actors or voice talent or whatever, you get a small fraction up front - it's usually an ok check, depending on the union's day rates and so forth, but you can't make a living off stitching these together - and then most of your pay comes from monthly royalty checks that provide you with the income you need to live off when you're between jobs.

The problem is that, historically in Hollywood, residuals have been structured with a very long "tail" - the payments start out relatively low and then get more generous over time as the show has more seasons and (presumably) goes into syndication. This doesn't work with streaming's new business model, where increasingly shows are getting 2-3 seasons max and streaming services have become increasingly quick to not just cancel shows but yank them off their servers in order to avoid paying residuals.

So what WGA writers are fighting for is a system that ensures writers (but also actors and other creative workers, because the unions pattern bargain) get a fair share of the show's revenue, even if the show is only given 2-3 seasons.

Third, the U.S labor movement would not exist today if it wasn't for white collar workers and public sector workers. About half of the U.S labor movement - 7 million workers - is public sector, and those workers are overwhelmingly women of color, mostly working as either teachers or postal workers. Likewise, about half the U.S labor movement is made up of white collar workers, and we're graduate students and adjuncts and lab researchers, teachers and social workers, administrators and IT departments.

I'm both public sector and white collar, and I'm a member of an NEA union. I'm an adjunct professor who earns $6,000 a course and it's my job to get working adults with jobs and families who've never gone to college or who've been out of higher ed for a decade to graduate with a bachelor's or a master's. If you don't think that's real work, you're free to research and write all the lectures and powerpoints, deliver those in an entertaining and educational fashion, answer a flood of questions from students who need help navigating academia, and then grade all the midterms and finals and research papers.

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

[seiwas]

cw: suggestive, just iwaizumi being hot in a muscle tee, use of 'baby', sweat, unedited sawry (this is my pure carnal desire for this man)

iwaizumi hasn’t worn a muscle tee in years—

it hangs off him like a singular piece of cloth, haphazardly cut to show off as much skin as possible. slutty, the way mattsun and makki had intended for it to look when they gifted it to him in his third year of college.

which, to be fair, maybe he was one—a slut, that is. whoring himself out completely with those ‘subtle’, ‘lowkey’ thirst trap instagram stories on his fitness account. the way his skin flushed a darker peach after your joint gym days was always borderline inappropriate, the strands of his hair sticking up in what you could easily mistake as sweat-matted sex hair.

iwaizumi’s muscle tee days are well associated with him being the image of absolute sin.

but it was all for you anyway: the instagram stories he set on ‘close friends’ only, the hours he kept free so he could align his gym schedule to yours—

“oh! that’s perfect!” you beam at him, your smile completely unaware.

“yeah. it all worked out…” he casually brushes it off.

—it was oikawa's idea in the first place.

"you have to sell yourself better iwa-chan," the brunet whines over the phone.

and so he did; followed every embarrassing idea oikawa came up with, posed and posted in ways extremely un-iwaizumi, and stocked up on muscle tees. a lot of them. only for him to be called—

"simp," oikawa snorts on the call. iwaizumi groans, rolling his eyes.

—"baby," you stop dead in your tracks, your breath on hold.

yeah, he thinks, it was all worth it because this is what you call him now.

"is that—?" you inch closer, mouth falling slightly open. he thinks there are stars in your eyes as you ask, "are you wearing—?"

oh.

iwaizumi looks down at the muscle tee hanging off his body and feels a little bit exposed. he just came from the gym and he hasn't worn a muscle tee in years, his collection of them having dwindled over time. the only reason he kept this one is because of its sentimental value, and the fact that it came from makki and mattsun.

compression shirts are his thing now, which you approve of very much, but you're both in the middle of moving, and some of his clothes are still in boxes.

you approach him slowly, "is this a comeback?" the smirk on your face grows when you reach him, your hands fiddling with the fabric.

this is the same muscle tee he was wearing the first time you told him you loved him.

he moves away before you can come any closer.

"sweaty," he scrunches his nose as he takes your hands into his, kissing your fingertips.

you scoff, pressing yourself right into his chest, "even better."

your hands cling to his sides, slipping underneath the damp cotton of his muscle tee as you rake your fingers down planes of taut muscle. he shivers, breath hitching as the heat travels up his body, flushing the sides of his neck deep peach.

you peer up at him and grin, placing small pecks at the areas of his collarbone that peek through.

fucking—

his hands grip your waist, keeping you in place as he tilts his head low, lips grazing just the tip of your ear.

"don't tease," he warns, voice low and hoarse, but his hands show no signs of moving away.

notes: i would like to thank @pastelle-rabbit for asking me the hardest question of all time, otherwise this little blurb wouldn't exist

[wttcsms]

as it was ; suguru geto.

pairing suguru geto x f!reader  word count 4.2k  synopsis suguru comes back, only to find that you've been waiting and wanting this whole entire time. content contains modern no curses!au, gojo's sister!reader, brother's best friend, creampie, pet names (good girl, baby), most of the fic is geto's introspection, possessive sex, mutual pining/longing author’s notes im not even horny for geto like that, but i wanted to write angsty smut abt spreading ur legs for a guy that left u & who else is better for this than geto <3

First words are always a bit tricky to get right, especially whenever he has to take into account that he essentially ghosted you a couple of years ago, after taking your virginity no less, and now he’s back in the godforsaken city he swore he was never coming back to, and he’s just at a loss about what to say and more importantly, how to say it. 

He supposes an apology, for starters, would be a good first move. And maybe it would be, could be, should be, if only he wasn’t him and you weren’t you, and the two of you were not something so confusing and intricate that it’s hard to put into words and harder still to describe with emotions. The two of you are something raw and painful, both of you taking turns playing both sadist and masochist. 

Even to himself, the extent of your relationship sounds twisted, but there was always an underlying purity to it, something that justified its existence. To this day, Suguru Geto is certain that you’re the only person who ever loved him for him, with a love so pure and just that he tries to hide it from everyone else before they can get their filthy hands on it and taint it, twist it into something it’s not. 

Sorry I left won’t cut it, and Geto doesn’t even bother trying to come up with any other variations of apology because it’s not necessarily your forgiveness that he’s come back for. The opportunity to say “I’m sorry” and have it actually mean something has long since passed. All that’s left to say is the truth for why he left, which for some odd reason, seems even harder to do than his original disappearing act.

I missed you — that’s a slight improvement. It’s the truth, if not an understatement of it. He doesn’t regret leaving Tokyo, he just regrets leaving you. Which he could say, if you would actually open the door to face him. 

He figures it’s what he deserves. He deserves worse, if he’s going to be entirely honest. He deserves a slap to the face, or a kick to his balls, or for you to tell him that you hate him, that you never want to see him ever again. 

He knocks on your apartment door, harder this time, as if it’s something urgent. And maybe it is. He’s felt more like himself than he ever has after moving, but the solitude of the countryside got boring soon after, leaving him only with the ghosts from his past to keep him company. He thinks if he doesn’t see you, in the flesh, he might actually go insane. 

He knocks again, only to be met with more silence and a door that’s starting to become more of a familiar sight than he would like. Fuck, what is he even doing? Showing up here was a bad idea to begin with, and it’s only seemingly getting worse by every agonizing second that ticks by. Even if you do open the door, there’s always the chance that you won’t let him get a single word in — that’d be the smart choice, anyway. 

And you’re a bright girl, don’t get him wrong. Something about the Gojo bloodline makes your family incapable of producing anything less than prodigal sons and daughters. If you’re not proof of this fact, there’s your older brother.

Yet another reason why showing up here is such a shitty plan. Satoru will catch wind of his visit, and when he does, he’ll show no restraint in showing Suguru what all of his private boxing lessons are good for. A broken nose and missing tooth would be a fair exchange to see you for at least a second, though. A tradeoff that he doesn’t need to debate on. 

You have to leave your apartment eventually. Suguru dances with the idea of just making camp outside your door and waiting for your stubbornness to fizzle out. It’ll be embarrassing, and your neighbors will surely have something to say about it, but it would be well worth it.

He hears the ding! of the elevator opening and human reflex causes his head to turn at the sound of the noise. 

Oh.

The world becomes contradictory at this very moment. The air suddenly stills, but the atmosphere itself seems to come alive at the same time. Stagnant air, bursting with electricity and something awe-inspiring. Everything seems to slow down, but suddenly he’s acutely aware of just how alarmingly fast his heart is beating. It’s been a while since he’s last seen you, not even bothering to check up on your social media because he knows one DM from you would have him crossing the ocean to be back by your side. 

The reason why you weren’t answering your door was simply because you weren’t even home. Relief floods his body, makes him less tense, only for him to stiffen up once more whenever his eyes trail over to the warm body awfully close to you. 

Or maybe it’s the other way around, since you’re the one clinging onto him.

You and Kento Nanami both look like you two have seen a ghost, and all things considered, you wouldn’t be wrong. 

“What are you doing here?” You’re the first to speak, with Nanami’s arm wrapped protectively around your waist, and it’s this closeness that’s the only thing Suguru finds himself able to focus on. It’s been years. He shouldn’t feel this way. You’re free to do whatever you want with whoever you want. It’s your life. He’s the one that chose to walk out of it, anyway. 

“I just wanted to talk,” he answers. Which isn’t a lie. He wanted to talk. He wanted to fight and make up and fuck your brains out and beg for forgiveness and cook you breakfast in the morning and warm your bed, amongst other things, too. But, he figures the condensed version of his list will do, especially considering that three’s a crowd, and most of his itinerary was for your ears only. “Did I come at a bad time?” 

You bite your bottom lip, slowly removing yourself from Nanami’s grip. Nanami looks at you first, concern evident in his warm eyes, eyes that you wish were just a bit darker and colder, so that they would be the ones you’re so accustomed to drowning in. 

You like Nanami well enough. He’s kind and looks out for you, and sometimes you even consider making a move on him first since he’s too much of a gentleman to cross any boundaries. Then again, you don’t think Nanami sees you as anything more than a little sister, and the last time you fucked one of your brother’s best friends… 

It’s why you just give Nanami a smile, one that tells him that you’ve got this under control. His facial expression doesn’t give any indication of what he’s thinking, but the glare he sends Suguru’s way says enough. 

Suguru can appreciate the fierce protectiveness Nanami has towards you, but it doesn’t mean he likes it. Especially when it’s Suguru that’s considered to be the threat.

You move to unlock your door once Nanami makes his reluctant exit, and when you enter your apartment, you conveniently don’t shut the door. Suguru trails behind you.

You turn on the lights, your living room and kitchen blending together in an open-floor plan, bathed in the stark, white lights hanging from your high ceilings. Your apartment, at least what Suguru can see of it, is tastefully decorated. Courtesy of your mother, he’s sure. He would ask about her, ask how she’s doing, but he figures now’s just not the right timing. 

It doesn’t seem to be the right timing for anything he wants to say. He wants to mention that he’s thought about you, thought about reaching out — sometimes to explain himself, and other times just to discuss the mundane aspects of life — but he thinks that would be even worse than apologizing. It would be cruel of him to dangle this information in your face, haunt you with the knowledge that all this time, he’s truly been avoiding you. Knowing you, you would have questioned him on why he didn’t bother reaching out, and he would have been stuck admitting that it’s simply because he was too scared that you wouldn’t answer. 

“Want a drink?” You ask him, back facing him as you peer into your fridge. He catches a glimpse of shiny glass bottles, water bottled in Europe and with the optimal pH balance, he’s certain of it. His throat feels a bit dry, but he tells you no. 

“I drank enough water on the drive up here,” he tells you, which again, isn’t a lie. Suguru feels a bit pleased with himself, even if it is a bit narcissistic of himself for expecting a pat on the back for doing something so simple. He supposes it’s just because he’s gotten so used to never being honest with himself — or others, for that matter — so his current streak for telling the truth seems like something to celebrate. 

“I didn't drink enough.” You say, and he can’t tell if it’s alcohol you’re talking about or water. You’re a lightweight; yet another trait that seems to be passed down the Gojo family. That explains Nanami escorting you home, then. 

“Aren’t you going to ask how I found you?” Suguru helps himself to taking a seat on the white couch in your living room. Because there’s no walls separating the two different spaces, he can still look at you from this position as you rest your elbows on your kitchen’s island, as if needing the support. 

“If you wanted me to know, you’d let me know.” It’s the way you say it that reveals that this comment isn’t made just in reply to his current question, but for everything else Suguru was going to follow it with. Don’t you want to know where I went? Don’t you want to know why I left? 

It’s amazing what humans are capable of. Nearly six years since the two of you have lost contact — since Suguru broke all contact — and yet, you can still read him just as well as he can read you. You see him for what he is, not whatever mask he wants to disguise himself with, and it’s scary, he thinks. Scary to be seen by someone. And nice. It’s nice to have someone know you’re a monster and still not run away.

He’s not quite sure what that says about you.

“It’s a bit of a funny story.” He says, trying to steer this conversation to a more lighthearted tone even though the two of you are nowhere close to feeling light and the jury’s still out on whether or not Suguru Geto has a heart. “You don’t need the reminder, but don’t ever tell Mei Mei a secret you want to keep.” 

The mention of your shared friend — if Mei Mei can even be considered one — makes the corners of your pretty mouth tilt upward. Mei Mei was born with a silver spoon, but the running joke is that it wasn’t in her mouth because she bartered with the doctor and blackmailed him into giving her a gold one. If you have the funds, Mei Mei has the information you’re looking for. 

She’s the only number Suguru saved in his phone contacts, and it’s only because he knew that if he needed anyone else’s number, Mei Mei would readily give it after her Venmo request goes through. 

“Of course she would tell you my address.” You say, but you don’t sound upset at all. Just amused, like this whole situation is something endearing, and you don’t harbor any ill feelings towards either of them, even though both Suguru and Mei Mei technically violated your trust. Suguru more so than Mei Mei, but, well, semantics. 

“Aren’t you mad?” The “at me” is unspoken.

“Mei Mei is a free spirit.” It’s a joke, and Suguru makes a sound from his throat that resembles a laugh. Mei Mei may do whatever she wants, but nothing about her comes free.

He knows you know what he was actually asking. He’s been trying to gauge your reaction to everything he says, trying to see if you hate his guts or not. 

“I missed you.” You tell him suddenly, and while he’s imagined those words coming out of your mouth, it still shakes him up a bit. It’s hard constantly posturing as if he’s cool and collected, nothing ever bothering him, his body and expression never betraying him. But it’s his heart that gives him away, and it’s heart that you hold, and no matter what face he puts on, he knows that you’ll know what the words he won’t say are.

“Don’t apologize.” You continue, closing the distance between you two and opting to take a seat next to him. There’s about six inches of space separating you two. The distance shapeshifts in his mind, sometimes becoming mere millimeters and sometimes feeling more like there’s an ocean between you both. 

The sorry was on the tip of his tongue and it traveled all the way there from his heart. It would be a waste of a journey for him to not say it, but he’s certain the apology would do more harm than good, even if it is genuine. 

Suguru stands out against the stark white of your apartment. Your mom likes the aesthetic of it, and since it’s your parents’ money, you merely shrugged and let her do whatever she wanted. In his black pants and black sweatshirt, he looks almost out of place in your home. 

The thought that he doesn’t belong makes your heart hurt more than the burn of the alcohol from tonight going down your throat. 

You don’t waste time wondering where Suguru went because for all intents and purposes, you never even knew where he came from to begin with. You knew him since you were children; your favorite out of all your brother’s friends because it was always Suguru who let you tag along and trail behind them. No one really knows much about Suguru’s life, his past, present, and future all a big blur to anyone but himself. From the way he slowly turns to face you, dark eyes meeting yours, you start to think of the possibility that maybe not even Suguru is an open book with himself. 

Suguru looks like a shadow, standing out from the brightness of everything that is surrounding him in your living room. You want to ask him the questions that plague your mind ever since he’s been gone, but you don’t, because you’re scared he is a shadow. One wrong move, and he just disappears from your grasp once again. 

There are the hard-hitting questions, of course. The ones that search for why he left and why he told no one and why he didn’t bother taking you. Then there are the gentler ones that would still require him to rip himself open and bare himself to you, things like how’s your new place and meet anyone interesting? You feel his gaze travel from your eyes to the slope of your nose and the apples of your cheek, downward to your lips. The intensity of his stare makes you nervously lick your lips, a tiny, quick action, but his eyes greedily take in the sight of the tip of your pink tongue casually making an appearance, only to retreat behind your pretty pink, glossed lips. 

“Are you mad that I came back?” Suguru finds himself taking the role of interviewer, since it’s evident to the two of you that you know better than to bother asking him any questions. He feels like you’re treating him a bit like a stray cat, all cautious and scared of provoking him or forcing him to run away. He wants to tell you that this is not the case and that he actually plans on staying this time around, but he hasn’t entirely convinced himself yet, so he’s not going to break your heart with any more empty promises. 

“No. Like I said, I missed you.” He wants to be able to blame your honesty on account of you being drunk, but he knows that you’ve just always been honest to a fault. 

“You shouldn’t.” He tells you this, and you scoff. Probably because Suguru is the last person who should be giving any sort of life advice. 

“Guess what I’m thinking.” You say, and Suguru feels something come alive from within, like he’s been frozen for the past six years, and the more he gets to bask in the warmth of your presence, the more he starts to defrost. There’s not a single hint of anger or malice in your tone, just the familiar, lighthearted, girlish tone of yours. 

“That you think I’m a creep and want me to get the hell out.” 

You frown, rolling your eyes, tucking your feet beneath you to get more comfortable on the couch.

“I’m thinking about that last time you told me I shouldn’t be doing something.” There’s a gleam in your bright eyes that clearly spells out desire, and Suguru is very, very close to defrosting. In fact, there’s a heat that’s beginning to settle deep in him, and maybe he should know better than to indulge in it, but it’s been years, and you are sitting here in front of him, pretty and fresh, and his hindbrain takes the driver’s seat. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” But he does know, and he knows that you know that he knows, just as you seemingly know everything about him. Maybe not about his childhood — or lack, thereof — or what he’s been up to, but you know the important stuff. The things that make him tick and all the words he fails to say. Three words. Three words that he doesn’t think he’ll ever muster enough courage to say to you, but from the look in your eyes, you already know. 

“I’ll jog your memory.” 

And suddenly, your lips are pressed against his. You’re kissing him, and like the lovesick fool he is, he’s kissing you back. It’s pure muscle memory, maybe even animal instinct. He thought that leaving Tokyo was the right thing to do, and for the most part, it was, but with your lips perfectly melding with his own, he thinks that leaving was stupid. 

Making out is such a juvenile ordeal, but he relishes in it because Suguru feels like he’s spent most of his youth trying to outrun it, and now he’s trying to take advantage of what his boyhood should have consisted of. The kisses are now bordering on sloppy and hazy, and somehow, you end up straddling his lap. He’s hard, and he should be embarrassed at popping a boner just from wet kisses, but it’s you. You have an effect on him that no one else does. His Achilles. The one weakness only he can feel. 

Suguru knows that he is not a good person because a good person doesn’t go behind their best friend’s back and fucks their little sister. He had told, thirty minutes before introducing you to the feeling of his cock stretching you out, that the two of you shouldn’t be doing that. Suguru knows that he is not a good person because he cannot be any happier at the fact that history has a funny way of repeating itself. Six years later, and the two of you are back in a similar position.

You’re starting to rut against him, your dress riding up your thighs and exposing more of your skin to him. Suguru helps himself to handfuls of your soft flesh, squeezing in a manner that can’t be defined as gentle, but he loves how you take him as he is without any sort of complaint. All you do is let out a low moan, your pantyclad pussy grinding against his equally clothed bulge. 

Your movements are a bit desperate, frenzied. You’re getting lost in pleasure already, and he hasn’t even done much to elicit such a reaction. The idea that only he can get you this riled up with doing so little makes him impossibly harder, and he looks down, realizing that you’re so soaked, your panties are practically translucent. 

The two of you have the option of taking things slow, but neither of you want to do that. When you spend some time starving, you don’t savor the meal, you scarf it down. 

That’s what the two of you are — hungry, greedy — as you both hastily strip as much clothing as you can bear to spend time getting out of. Your minidress is tossed carelessly on the living room floor, and Suguru can only bother with unzipping his pants and pushing down his briefs just enough to free his cock. 

The intrusion of the tip of his cock entering your wet, needy cunt is less of an intrusion and instead akin to something rightfully returning to where it belongs. Your hands are tangled in his hair, and he relishes this feeling. This wholeness, this concept of being complete.

The inviting warmth of your pussy makes him want to cum right on the spot, but he can’t waste it. He’s spent years pining after you, missing you, and he wants you to feel like the time apart had been worth it. 

“I missed you.” This time it’s him who makes the admittance. You tighten up at this confession, and it evokes a low groan from him, almost as if you had forced the sound to come from all the way down his throat.

“I know.” You gasp out, not able to speak clearly with how deep Suguru is hitting. Your living room is filled with the wet clicks and slaps of skin against skin, your juices coating his cock every time he pulls out. 

The vein on the underside of his cock rubs against your walls, and the slight curve of it enables him to hit that gummy spot inside of you that has you seeing stars. You’ve never given much thought to cocks, but you know that Suguru’s is the prettiest of them all. 

“Tell me you’re mine.” He grunts out, lips brushing against the soft skin of your neck before biting down; gentle enough not to draw blood, sharp enough to still leave a mark. You rock against him, hips moving in tandem with his thrusts, the steady hum of pleasure continuously building up in your lower belly. You are dizzy with pleasure; blanketed in it, being spoon fed it. 

He doesn’t need you to say it to know it’s true, but you moan it out anyway, both to appease him and because there’s a sort of pride in knowing that you belong to him. 

“I’m yours. I belong to you.” The words are separated, punctuated, by the little gasps for air you give out because with every word, he thrusts up even harder, hitting that special spot that will have you cumming all over him, making a mess. 

“Yeah?” It comes out sounding like a shaky breath, and he’s close, you know it, you can feel it. 

Calloused pads belonging to fingers much larger than yours are being pressed against your clit. You’re soaked, and the dryness of his hands combining with your overall slickness gives way to delicious friction that has you cumming with his name as a broken moan filtering through your swollen lips. 

“That’s it, baby. Good girl. Good fucking girl.” He mutters, relishing in the way your walls tighten, spasm, clenching and unclenching sporadically as your body loses its energy and you press yourself up against his chest.

He follows after just a few more sloppy thrusts, the last one forcing himself as deep inside of you as possible. His cum is hot and thick, and it’s filling you to the brim. If he pulls out now, it’ll flood out of you, and the thought is both sad and hot at the same time. You want his cum inside of you, to serve as a reminder that this is real, that he’s real. 

But seeing the physicality of him staking his claim, white seed dripping out of you, turns you on. Him, too, with the look of fascination and boyish wonder he has in his eyes as he stares at how the two of you are connected.

Before he can bother with confirming a round two, a sharp knock on the door has the two of you comically jumping a bit in surprise, both of you glancing at the door and then at each other.

“[Name], I know you’re in there!” You freeze. 

Satoru. 

Suguru wants to try to calm you down, whisper to you that everything’s going to be fine, but the anger laced in his best friend’s — former best friend’s — voice is enough to make him freeze up, too. Not just his icy tone, but what he says.

“I know you’re back, too, Suguru.”

[obsessedelusional]

guilty pleasure (smut)

paring ↬ Eddie Munson x fem!reader

summary ↬ A drunken night leads to a hookup with none other than Eddie Munson. Which wouldn’t be such a problem if you weren’t currently in a relationship with Jason Carver. You tell you self it needs to stop but what happens when start to look forward to your secret meet ups with Munson?

a/n: loosely inspired by your guilty pleasure by henry versus.. anyways hi hope u enjoy I miss eddie

Feedback & Reblogs appreciated! Thank you ♥︎

You’re Jason Carvers girlfriend, cheer captain and undoubtedly one of the most popular girls in this school. Then why are you currently pinned under Eddie Munson?

“Jason’s going to flip his shit.” You say as Eddie pulls away from kissing you, his lips travel down your throat.

“I won’t tell and you won’t either.” He murmurs nibbling farther down your neck.

You go to respond but you’re stopped by the sudden feeling of air on your chest, your nipples harden as he works your shirt off you. The air is out of your lungs when his mouth moves to a breast, his hands busy undoing your pants. He was eager and never wasted time during what little time you had before Jason started to wonder where you wandered off to. You two hadn’t been caught yet and for Eddie, it wasn’t about to happen today. More than happy to be your dirty little secret.

“Your body is dangerous.” He whispers as soon as he’s got you undressed, left in nothing but your underwear.

You always wore your sexiest pair in hopes that he’d show up to the party Jason dragged you to. Your boyfriend no longer had to do much to convince you to tag along. The unknown possibility of Eddie being there was more than enough to get you out the house.

The first time you had told yourself that it was nothing more than a drunken mistake. Jason and you had been fighting all week. Which was unfortunately becoming your new reality, your relationship on a downward spiral for months. He claimed to be at home but you knew better, showing up to the party he swore he wasn’t attending. After a long argument and him saying maybe you two should take a break, you found friends and drank more than you should have.

A drunken angry night lead you straight into Eddie’s arms. The two of you had always been amicable despite Jason’s obvious disdain for Eddie. It started off as an innocent conversation, thinking Jason would see and grow irritated enough to stop you. He didn’t seem to care which only pissed you off more. And then there Eddie was intoxicated and flirty, touching you without any care for your relationship status. When no one was paying you two any attention, you snuck a kiss and then snuck away with Eddie to a bathroom.

Jason and you decided to make things work a few days later, it needed to stop. Technically you were single when you hooked up with Eddie. You convinced yourself that you didn’t do anything wrong. There was no need to tell Jason what happened.

It wasn’t until you found yourself at another party, Jason with his friends paying you no attention. Eddie’s attention was focused solely on you from across the room. One look, a couple steps up stairs and Eddie was following you to an empty bathroom. Making sure to let him know this would never happen again as you undressed him. He agreed, laughing before lifting you onto the counter and taking over.

After that time you were fucked in every way. Jason just wasn’t doing it anymore. Wondering if Jason ever really did it for you. Questioning why you were still with him all these years later. Suddenly all his flaws more prevalent. Pissing you off by merely existing, fighting constantly. Telling yourself that you’d come clean soon. That it wasn’t fair to Eddie or Jason.

Yet here you were months later, completely sober letting Eddie take what he wanted. All while your boyfriend was downstairs with his friends. Giving yourself over to Eddie Munson became your guilty pleasure.

Eddie’s mouth is slowly traveling to its destination. Your eyes closed, too distracted by his mouth to think about how terrible this will inevitably end. The sound of fabric tearing has your eyes opened and on Eddie, watching as he stuffs whatever’s left of your underwear into his pocket. He’s pulling away from the you, only to sink himself between your thighs.

“Your pussy is always so wet and ready..” His voice is low, his mouth inches away from your center.

A few quick kisses are pressed to your inner thigh before his hands travel under you, pulling you closer and meeting his lips with your clit. Your involuntary reaction is to try and close your legs but he already expects it, stopping you from doing so as he dives deeper.

His tongue working on your bud and a single finger slides into you. You let your moans leave your mouth as you grasp the sheets of whoever’s bed you’re in. Without warning he adds another finger, picking up his pace.

“Fuck..” You groan out as you grind your hips into his touch.

He watches you as you react to his actions, his favorite sight. Your eyes are closed as he pushes you closer to your climax. You can’t see it but you can feel the grin on his face, smug about the fact that he’s the one making you cum and not your boyfriend.

He pulls away bringing out a whimper from you at loss of contact, “Does he make you feel this good?”

You look at him, frustrated and not wanting to talk right now. Especially not about Jason.

“Does he even make you cum?” He ask, kissing a sweet kiss to your cunt. No where near your swollen clit but your body shudders in response. You can’t bring yourself to answer.

“Tell me.. who makes you feel this good?” Another kiss, moving closer to where you desperately need him.

“Who makes you cum every time?” Another kiss, almost there but not yet. He’s leaving you a whimpering mess under his touch.

“Who do you think about when your boyfriend fucks you?” This time he doesn’t kiss you, waiting for response.

“You.. Eddie. I think about you.” You finally admit, causing him to get that smug look he wears every time he reminds you of your dishonest actions towards Jason.

“If you were mine I’d never let you out of my sight.. keep you satisfied enough to keep you under me and not someone else.” He says never breaking eye contact as his slips between your folds again. Continuing where he left off and not letting you respond, sending your head flying back.

The only sounds in the room are your moans and the sounds of his tongue and fingers bringing you closer to the edge. Music is muffled from downstairs. He picks up his speed, not missing a beat. Pushing you over the edge, arching your back as you finish on his fingers. He rides you out through your orgasm. As he pulls out he bring his fingers to his lips, cleaning your juices off his fingers.

“So sweet.” He says as he sits up, hovering over you again.

You only pull him closer, kissing him and undressing him. It’s your turn to make him feel good. Your hands pull at his shirt and he takes it off the rest of the way. The brief moment he pulls away, your hands run down his chest and to his pants. You undo the button then the zipper and start to pull them down as much as you can from under him. He shimmies the rest of the way out of his pants, dragging his boxers off with them.

You wrap your fingers around his cock, pumping it slowly eliciting a groan from him. It’s heavy and hard, ready to split you in half.

“My turn to taste you,” you whisper as you move from under him and push him onto his back.

He doesn’t fight this, allowing you to take control. Eyes on you as settle at his side, bending over to take his cock in your mouth. A simple kiss on his tip has him biting his lip in anticipation. His hand finds your ass, squeezing it as you slowly take his length into your mouth. His other hand is on your head, guiding your mouth deeper. Forcing you to take his whole length. Holding himself back from bucking his hips into your mouth.

“F-fuck.. you take my cock so well..” He purrs as he holds you still, your nose pressed into his groin.

After a few moments of you gagging on his cock, he lets go and you pull away. Saliva drips down your chin. Wiping your mouth off and using it to rub his cock, spitting the build up at the back of your throat onto it. Pumping him in a slippery mess, watching him watch you.

“You on top..” He directs and you listen, sitting up and throwing your leg over him.

You press your warm center onto his hardness, letting it slide through your folds. Making the both of you groan at the friction. You lift your self up just enough as aligns his tip to your heat. You lower yourself down, taking him whole. As you begin to roll your hips he grabs you and guides you through the motions, nails digging into your skin.

Probably leaving marks but you don’t care. The tiniest part of you wishing Jason would find evidence of you and Eddie, forcing you to come clean. The more the two of you did this behind Jason’s back, the sloppier you got. The more you would let Eddie do, the more you asked for. Knowing that this couldn’t possibly end well for anyone involved, deciding to enjoy it while you had the chance.

“Such a slut, taking my cock while your boyfriend is downstairs,” Eddie says this as his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you flush to his chest.

His hips jerk into you from under, slamming his cock inside of you at a relentless pace. Your head is burrowed in his neck, your arms trapped in his embrace. He fucks you from under as you moan in his ear, his favorite sound.

Without any warning he slips from under you and has you laid on your stomach. He pulls your ass up, pushing your head down. Eddie takes a moment to appreciate the sight in front of him before smacking your ass. The crown of his cock lingers at your entrance before easing into your warmth. You can’t help the whine that escapes your mouth as his fills you from this angle.

“Such a good little slut for me.. huh?” He asks as he thrusts into you in a languid manner, almost teasing you. He’s waiting for you to answer before he gives you want you want.

“Yes.. Eddie.. for you.” You respond, your voice cracking between thrusts.

“Say it.” He growls pushing your head into the bed, slowly moving his hips.

“I’m a slut.. for you.” You spit out and he rock his hips harder, faster. Fucking you into the bed. Finally giving you what you want.

You grip onto the sheets, pushing against his thrusts. His movements are deep, his pace relentless. Hands squeeze your ass, further guiding his pumping. You are a mess under him, not holding back your noises. Letting Eddie know he’s fucking you right. Just how you like it. Ruining you for any other man, specifically your boyfriend.

Eddie doesn’t slow, keeping the speed consistent. Determined to make you cum one more time before he finishes. His length plunges in and out of you. Skin smacking and moans fill the room.

There’s no way anyone else upstairs can’t hear you. They have to know someone is having sex in here. Almost making it more enjoyable. The fear of getting caught turning you on even more.

The familiar feeling of your skin heating up is felt. Pleasure building in you as Eddie’s fucks you closer to falling apart. Your walls flutter around his cock letting him know that you’re almost there.

“Come for me. Come all over my cock.” Eddie orders.

His demand is all it takes to push you over the edge. You feel your body tighten and then releases the pressure. AA chocked sob comes from you as you finish all over his cock.

Your body goes numb as he pumps a few more times before, quickly pulling out. Taking his throbbing erection into his hand and pumping it with his hand. The other hand grabs you, pulling you to a sitting position in front of Eddie.

“Open up.” He orders and you look up at him, doing as he says.

A few more flicks of his wrist has him hissing as he comes on your face. Aiming for your tongue and making it for the most part. You wait patiently as he jerks himself to completion. He smiles, wiping his cum from where it missed and landed on your cheek. Collecting it placing it in your mouth. Not letting a drop go to waste, watching as you swallow his seed.

“Good girl,” he smiles pulling away.

It’s as if reality comes into play as he steps away, throwing your clothes towards you on the bed. You quickly redress, watching him do the same. The sadness that comes when this moment comes gets stronger every time your time together comes to an end.

Once you’re dress you stand up from where you’re sat on the edge of the bed. It’s as if Eddie notices the change in your mood, without you having to say anything. Moving in closer to you he pulls you closer, kissing you more affectionately than he should be. Clouding your judgement and letting your self fill your mind with delusions.

As he drags himself away from you he says, “Now go make out your boyfriend, let him taste me on your tongue.”

His tone is teasing, causing you to roll your eyes and let out a sigh. His reminder of your failing relationship snaps you from your mind, the feelings he makes you feel. The thoughts he makes you think.

You’re irritated, mostly at yourself for letting it get to this point. He looks at you for a second using his hand to smooth your hair and then wipe away at your smudged eye makeup. Once he thinks you look like you didn’t just cheat on your boyfriend, he grins pulling away. You try not to smile back, moving away from him and leaving the room. Eddie would wait a few minutes, so no one would see the two of you leaving together.

As you walk downstairs to where you left Jason your mind can’t stop thinking about the possible consequences. You could tell Jason right now and what? Run into Eddie’s arms? Not entirely sure if he even wants that. If he wants you as anything more than a secret hookup.

Afraid that if you came clean, the whole entire thing would lose its appeal. Wondering if you enjoy your time with Eddie as much as you do because it’s so wrong. If you were single, would you still find yourself wanting to be around Eddie?

One thing clear, you need to break up with Jason. As soon as possible and just see what happens afterwards. If whatever Eddie and you have is meant to be, it’ll happen. You hear your name as you make it into the back yard where you left Jason. He’s sat right where you left him, trying to call you over.

As you approach him and his friends, he pulls you into his arms. You feel yourself recoiling as a reaction to his touch. You’re in no mood for him right, obviously bothered over something and he doesn’t notice. He never fires. Before you can anything, he kisses you. You can’t help but try to stifle the laugh that wants to come. Thinking about the last thing Eddie said to you.

“What’s so funny?” Jason asks, his arm still wrapped around your waist.

“Nothing… we need to talk..” You respond, removing yourself from his embrace and walking away from his group of friends.

[holllandtrash]

6 to 1 | lando norris (part 11)

pairing: lando norris x leclerc!reader part 11 in the 6 to 1 series (read part 1 here)

dinner with charles and the rest of your family comes with high expectations and heavy disappointments. one thing's for certain, lando's not going anywhere and neither are you

word count: 7.2k tags/warnings: implied smut, literally the worst translated french ever if someone wants to fix it by all means pls help me out, some sad tugs on the heart strings, i think thats it, also poorly edited

There were two sides to Lando Norris.

You already knew of the sweet and considerate side. The one that opened car doors for you, that took care of you even though you never asked to be cared for. This was the side of Lando that you fell hard for because he was all heart and cheeky grins and stupid eye rolls that had you blushing.

And then there was the side that you didn’t even know existed until you woke up to him leaving a trail of kisses down your body before slowly spreading your legs apart. The side that had you seeing stars and screaming his name before you could even register being awake. 

Lando was insatiable, to put it simply.

And you weren’t complaining.

How could you complain when he joined you in the shower and pressed his lips to your neck as he pinned you against the porcelain wall. Your cheek against the cold tile, the stream of hot water coming down from above, his cock so deep inside you that you relied on him to keep you upright. 

Yeah, you couldn’t complain.

Lando seemed to be on a mission to make you cum more times in twelve hours than you had in the last two years. He got so much pleasure from bringing you to the edge and watching as you spilled over.

You made sure to return the favour. Not even waiting until you were out of the bathroom before dropping down to your knees. Lando has one hand on the edge of the sink, the other hand tangled through your hair. Strings of expletives meshed so well with his encouraging words, telling you how fucking pretty you looked choking on his cock. 

And honestly, that first shower was a write-off. You eventually needed to push Lando out of the bathroom to give you the chance to actually get ready for the day.

It was hard for the two of you to keep your hands off each other and to be fair, you didn’t really try. Sure, you put on a show, but ten minutes in and you were by far more entertaining than whatever rom-com you had chosen.

The day got away from you, to say the least.

It wasn’t until Lando asked you what you wanted for dinner did you suddenly bolt upright on the couch, reaching for your phone to check the time.

Lando, who had his hand on the handle of the fridge, slowly backed away from it as he tried to gauge what was going through your head, “Okay, or we could order something?”

“No, no, I’m sorry,” you stood up as you rushed to answer Arthurs text. He was already at your maman’s place and you couldn’t multitask to save your life so you didn’t even try to explain yourself to Lando until you sent Pascale a text saying that you had accidentally fallen asleep and are headed there now. It was a lie, but it was better than the alternative which would undoubtedly give her a heart attack.

“What’s up?” Lando asked, heading back towards you, eyeing your phone. 

You dragged your fingers through your hair, “I forgot I promised to go to my maman’s house for dinner.” You turned and headed down the hall, “I need to change..can you- I don’t have any clothes here do I?”

Lando followed you, picking up the mini skirt you abandoned last night and the top that could have quite literally doubled as a bra. All day you had been lounging around in Lando’s clothes, having completely forgotten about your dinner plans.

“Just you and your mum?” Lando asked, he stepped into his closet but there was no way he had anything that was appropriate for dinner.

“Um, and Arthur and Enzo,” you added quietly, finding a brush on top of his dresser and running it through your hair. You kept Charles’ name out of your mouth, not feeling up to bringing him into the conversation.

Lando stepped back into his room, eyebrows raised at your frantic actions, “Did you want me to drive you? We can stop at your place on the way so you can change.”

You didn’t just want him to drive you, you wanted him to join you. But to throw this on him so last second wasn’t fair. 

You accepted the ride to dinner, but you kept the invite to yourself. 

Lando waited in the car as you ran in and changed, making yourself more presentable. It took under five minutes to put something appropriate on and get rid of any signs that you and Lando had been nothing but tangled limbs and heated kisses and desperate moans for the last 12 hours. 

You were thankful that Lando was careful. Any marks that bruised your skin overnight weren’t visible to anyone other than you two. Some were darker than others, but you didn’t let yourself think of Lando’s lips exploring every inch of you, not while he was currently idling outside and waiting for your return.

When you slid back into the passenger seat, Lando waited before putting the car into drive. He nodded his head towards the phone that rested on the dash, your phone, that you had left while you ran inside. 

Not only that, but you left it unlocked.

You had nothing to hide, but that wasn’t the issue. The issue was Arthur had texted you twice since you stepped out of the car.

Charles is here btw, seems to be in a fine mood Are you bringing Lando?

When you looked up at Lando, he just had a smug little smile on his face. He wasn’t mad that you hadn’t invited him to dinner, nor was he upset that Charles was there after you purposely avoided saying his name.

“You told your brother about me?” Lando asked, finding the whole thing endearing. It was one thing if the drivers knew you were together, telling your family was entirely different.

“To an extent,” you shrugged, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. “He knows we’ve been hanging out. I think a lot of people do.”

“Hanging out,” Lando repeated, mocking the naive term. 

“Well maybe if you asked me out I could tell him you’re my boyfriend.”

“Well maybe if you weren’t so picky about me planning a grand gesture,” Lando flipped the sarcasm on you and you playfully pressed your hand to his cheek, pushing his face away from yours. 

“I deserve a grand gesture,” you told him.

Lando nodded in agreement, “But nothing embarrassing?”

“Nothing embarrassing.”

“Anything for the Littlest Leclerc.”

You positioned yourself on the seat so your upper half was practically leaning over the centre console. Lando’s smile had yet to vanish as his gaze darted to every inch of your face, landing on your lips before he glanced up to meet your eyes. 

Out of nowhere, you felt giddy. You felt the excitement of butterflies in your stomach. You looked at Lando and suddenly you wanted him to come to dinner. You wanted your mother to see him as someone other than a driver. You wanted him to get to know your other brothers. You wanted to introduce him to the part of your life that no one had ever seen before.

“Come with me,” your quiet request echoed through the car. “To dinner.”

Lando’s eyebrows raised in response. He wasn’t against the idea, but he wasn’t tripping over his words to agree either. 

“Are you sure?” He asked. “You don’t think it’s too soon to meet your family?”

“Well you’ve already met my mother,” you pointed out, thinking of the few times they had interacted during race weekends.

Lando rolled his eyes, “You know what I mean.”

You leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to his lips before smiling. Your nose nudged against his and again, those butterflies returned.

“I want you there,” you said.

“Then I want to be there.”

Two sides to Lando. 

And this was the side you were falling incredibly hard for. The side that made you want to show him off to everyone you knew. The side that made you forget why you were nervous to see Charles in the first place.

Lando kissed you once more before he pulled his eyes to the road. You sat back in your seat and your hand stayed connected with his for the remainder of the drive.

——————

You opened the door to your maman’s place, reaching for Lando’s hand as you stepped inside. There was no one in the general area, but you could hear voices flooding in through the balcony. With it being such a beautiful day, you shouldn’t have been surprised to see that everyone was already outside.

Lando was looking around, undoubtedly feeling very out of his element as he stood in the childhood home of another driver. His eyes landed on some old photos and his usual bubbly personality was replaced with solemn and an expression so tense that it had you feeling uneasy in your mother’s own home.

“Hey,” you whispered, squeezing his hand as you stepped closer to him and the wall that held a variety of memories in frames. Lando nodded, acknowledging that he heard you, but his eyes were locked on a specific photo. 

It was Charles in a kart, probably about ten years old at the time. Next to him knelt Jules, the biggest smile on his face. 

Lando pointed at the young girl balancing on Jules’ knee, a bright red toy car between her fingers. His gaze then turned to you, eyebrows raised. 

“I was about five years old, I think,” you said, trying to think back to when exactly that picture was taken. You leaned your head against Lando’s arm as images of your childhood rushed back to you. Some were pure memories that belonged to, others were flashes of stories you had heard that your mind had tricked you into thinking you remembered. 

But this day, you remembered. 

“I wanted to race too,” a breath of laughter followed that admittance. “Or at least I thought I did. Jules would have never actually let me drive that thing, I was too young, but he put me in and I remember getting so scared. I kept thinking it would start and just take off and it was instant tears for me.”

Lando nudged your side, “Your dreams of being a driver were short lived.”

“Very much so,” you laughed. You tapped your finger against the mini you behind the glass. “Jules gave me a toy Ferrari to keep me distracted and it worked for the most part. But when Charles got in the kart I got scared for him. Jules had to hold me the entire time he was going around the track, assuring me that Charles was safe, that he-”

Lando noticed the way your voice caught in your throat. He slipped his hand out of yours to drape his arm around your shoulders instead, pulling you into his side so he could kiss your forehead.

You told yourself you were fine. You were fine, this was a happy memory, it was a good day. It was just one you hadn’t thought about in a while.

Lando didn’t want you to sit in your thoughts. He propped his finger under your chin, tilting your face up, “Do you think a toy Ferrari would still work to distract you?”

The corner of your lips curled upwards and you rolled your eyes at his attempt at bringing some humour into this conversation.

“No, but maybe a real Ferrari would.”

“Yeah I’m not buying you a Ferrari,” Lando scoffed, turning you both around and away from the photo wall. You glanced at it over your shoulder once more, but when the sliding door to the balcony opened, the pictures were yet again just a memory. 

You stepped out of Lando’s embrace when Pascale looked up and saw you. A grin spread across her cheeks and she was quick to put down the bottle of wine in her hands. You practically hopped across the kitchen floor to give her a hug, rocking side to side in her tight embrace.

“Bonjour, maman,” you sighed happily. It had been a few weeks since you had actually spent time with her. When you pulled back she started asking you about the wedding you attended, about London, about what you’ve been up to, but of course she was speaking in French. Lando, who stood quietly behind you, had absolutely no idea what was being said.

“Attends, maman,” Wait mom. You said, cutting her off before this conversation could go further. You glanced at Lando and ushered him over with just a head nod. “C’est Lando.” This is Lando.

Pascale looked at you like you were missing a few brain cells and honestly, you sort of felt like you were. Obviously she knew who Lando was. The question was what was he doing in her home. 

“Chérie, je sais qui c'est.” Sweetheart, I know who he is. 

Your maman knew Lando as a driver. Someone from a rival team, someone that Charles competed against. She probably didn’t think much of it that he was there, it wasn’t uncommon for Charles to invite another driver or two to a get-together. 

But when you reached for Lando’s hand and pulled him closer to you, Pascale’s eyes lit up. There was a faint gasp of surprise, but it was her heartwarming smile of approval that lifted the weight off your shoulders.

You had never brought someone home before, someone that you wanted to introduce to your family. And even though Lando didn’t need any introduction, it was clear that he wasn’t just a driver. Your fingers intertwined with his and your cheeks turned a light shade of pink when Pascale pointed between the two of you. 

As your mother, she wanted nothing but happiness for you. She didn’t care that Lando was a Formula 1 driver, all she saw was you clinging to a guy, something that she’s never seen before. There was an obvious connection, one that you hadn’t let yourself have before and Pascale could see that.

“I hope it’s okay that I invited him,” your voice was timid as you glanced towards the patio doors. All of your brothers were out there, none of them had noticed you yet.

“Of course!” she cheered, reaching forward to squeeze Lando’s arm lovingly. “Vous ne parlez pas le Français?”

“No,” you answered for him, feeling Lando tense up beside you as he tried to figure out what he was just asked. “No, he doesn’t speak French.”

“Oh that is not a problem,” Pascale brushed the language aside. She wanted to make Lando feel comfortable in her home, which was just another breath of fresh air for you. At least your maman was supportive, she would be inclusive towards Lando tonight.

Your brothers were another story.

The patio door slid open again and this time it was Enzo and Arthur who walked in. They greeted you from across the room, both in French, but their ‘bonjours’ and ‘ca va’s’ were cut off when they recognised Lando.

“C'est nouveau,” This is new. Enzo teased, his finger darting back and forth between you and Lando as he poured himself a glass of wine. 

Arthur glanced out to the patio where Charles remained, “Tu ne lui a pas dit a propos de Lando, pas vrai?” You didn’t tell him about Lando, did you?

Poor Lando, just staring at you waiting for a translation or for you to answer on his behalf. He genuinely couldn’t tell what your brothers were saying, but he hoped it wasn’t anything negative.

“English, boys,” Pascale clapped her hands together as she moved to stand between Arthur and Enzo. She wrapped her arms around both of them, squeezing gently as she smiled back at you and Lando. Both sons had quite a few inches on her but they let her pull them into her sides without any sort of fight. “Lando does not speak French. We will be good hosts, yes?”

“C’est lui qui vit à Monaco,” He’s the one who lives in Monaco. Enzo snorted, earning a smack upside the head from your maman. He held his hand up in defence, palm facing Lando, “Sorry, mate.”

“All good,” Lando chuckled, shaking his head. He didn’t want to put anyone out of place, but Pascale was notorious for making sure her guests were comfortable and respected. If that meant she had to learn another language, she probably would without question. 

“Lando, wine?” She offered, grabbing an empty glass from the cupboard. 

“Oh he’s not a wine drinker and-” you spoke up, inhaling a sharp breath through your teeth. You glanced up at Lando, “-and I don’t know why I’m speaking for you. You have a voice.”

Lando gave your hand a squeeze, but he didn’t seem offended that you answered on his behalf. If anything, he was a little surprised that you remembered that little detail about him. 

“Help yourself to anything in the fridge,” Pascale told him, still pouring a glass for you knowing that you sure as hell wouldn’t turn down wine. She had just stepped around the kitchen island to hand it to you when the patio door opened for the third time.

Charles didn’t even look at you. His eyes immediately went to Lando.

Lando waved awkwardly, “Hey, Charles.”

Completely disregarding him, he turned to Pascale, “Ce devait être un dîner de famille." It was supposed to be a family dinner.

Lando leaned towards you and whispered, “What did he say?”

You shook your head, he didn’t need to know that Charles was already choosing to let this evening turn sour. “Tu peux être poli au moins.” You can at least be polite. You told Charles, only to be met with an eye roll in response.

“So the eye rolls run in the family?” Lando asked. 

“Can you just-” you turned to him suddenly, but stopped yourself from being unintentionally rude. Lando was just trying to make a joke, that’s what he did in any given situation. It wasn’t his fault that Charles’ bad attitude was now affecting how you were acting. You placed your hand on his chest, playing with the string of his jumper, “Let’s go outside, yeah?”

Charles turned around as well but Pascale was quick to jab her finger against her son's chest before he could go anywhere, “Behave, Charles.”

It was a warning that held very little merit. Charles would mutter something under his breath in French about how Lando wasn’t actually invited as the group of you all made your way outside. Pascale stayed inside to finish up dinner and you offered to help but one look from her and you both knew you’d be needed outside with the men boys. 

The patio was large. The outdoor couch shaped like an ‘L’ was spacious enough to fit all five of you comfortably. But Charles still opted for one of the chairs, resting his leg over the other as he leaned back and watched as Lando made himself comfortable on the patio furniture, or at least tried to. 

The second that Lando put his hand on your thigh, Charles’ eyebrows twitched and Lando retracted his hand, leaving it in his own lap. 

This was awkward for everyone. 

Well, maybe not so much Arthur and Enzo whose heads were moving back and forth between you like they were watching a tennis match, just waiting to see what sort of moves any of you would make. 

You hadn't spoken to Charles since you left Silverstone. You weren’t there for him when he DNF’d near the end of the race. You weren’t there to tell him that he still had plenty of chances left this season to do work his way up the standings. 

Now was as good a time as any to bring it up, clear the air. 

“I’m sorry about your retirement last weekend,” you said, feeling unusually timid. Charles wasn’t someone who you often felt small around. You looked up to him, sure, but you never felt the need to be careful around him, until now. 

Charles sighed loudly, “Is this you taking responsibility for it?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Hmm,” Charles scratched the stubble that grew along his jaw. “You don’t think everything you told me minutes before I had to get in the car affected my race at all?”

Nevermind, you weren’t shy to speak what was on your mind. You were annoyed.

“You don’t think leaving your personal life outside the track is something you should probably do?” You retorted, with even more sarcasm than his tone carried. “I mean, you’ve done it before. Weren’t you the one who broke up with Cha literally days before a race weekend and still went on to get a podium?”

“That was different.”

“You’re right,” you scoffed, leaning back against the cushions as you crossed your arms over your chest. “You brought my life onto the track with you in Silverstone. I never asked you to do that.”

To your right, Arthur nudged your side, “Take it easy, Y/N.”

Charles moved on from the topic of the race as his glare narrowed in on Lando. “Vous êtes ensemble, c'est ça?” So, you two are dating?

Lando looked at you, hoping you would, again, either translate or answer for him. 

“You know he doesn’t speak French.”

“Toute la famille parle Français,” This whole family speaks french. Charles leaned forward, “You’re just going to show up at my mother’s house and demand everyone speak English for your convenience?”

Lando rapidly shook his head, “That didn’t-”

You promptly cut him off, “Don’t be an ass for the sake of just being an ass, Charles.”

“Mate I don’t want to cause any trouble,” Lando chimed in. His hand went to your leg again and even when Charles eyed the point of contact with disapproval, Lando didn’t move it. “I just like hanging out with your sister. And for some reason she likes hanging out with me too.”

There was that term again. Hanging out. But this time when he said it, you knew Lando was only trying to downplay everything for Charles’ sake. Charles didn’t need to know any of the details of your relationship, he just needed to get it through his head that you were together.

The patio door opened and Pascale came out, holding the glass of wine you had forgotten to grab. You thanked her kindly and without exchanging a word, the mother-daughter bond you shared spoke volumes when you sent a glance across the patio towards Charles.

Pascale tsk’d, shaking her head at the Formula 1 driver, “I said behave, Charles.”

“I didn’t do anything!” Charles retorted. “He’s the one that shows up invited.”

“I invited him,” you snapped. 

Enzo leaned forward, directing his attention to Lando to try and steer this conversation elsewhere. He started asking the Brit about his family and Arthur gave you an encouraging nod. Maybe tonight just started off wrong, it had potential to get better.

But of course those were high expectations.

Dinner was horrible.

The glares sent across the table towards you and Lando were impossible to ignore. Charles purposely spoke French and even though Pascale reminded him four times that Lando didn’t understand, Charles only responded that it wasn't his problem.

He was being uncharacteristically rude, and Charles’ reputation was that he was one of the nicest drivers on the grid. That was a reputation you agreed with, up until now. 

He was trying to make Lando uncomfortable, trying to find any reason to exclude him, ensuring that Lando knew he didn’t approve of your relationship.

You tried to ignore it, really. You were there to talk to your maman, to catch up with Enzo, to introduce Lando to everyone else in the family.

But eventually you just grew tired of biting your tongue for the sake of keeping the peace.

“You’re insufferable, do you realise that?” You finally blurted out. Arthur and Enzo stifled their laughter and next to you, Lando dropped his hand to your leg. He had been respectful all dinner, keeping his hands on the table where everyone could see, but he knew that you needed the support in the form of a comforting squeeze.

“Big words for the person who pays for all of your trips. There's nothing insufferable about the private jets from Monaco to Spain to London, are there?" Charles barely looked up from his food, shoving his fork into his mouth and letting his words sink in.

“Oh you’ve been waiting to use that line haven’t you?”

Charles ignored you, glancing towards Lando, “You’ve got her trips covered now, yeah?”

“Charles,” Pascale warned. She had stayed quiet for the most part, not wanting to get involved, trying to believe that it was just siblings being siblings. 

But it was so much more than that.

“I don’t know why you think I’m so reliant on you, but I can assure you, I’m not,” you shot back, not giving Lando a chance to share his two cents. “But if I was really struggling, there’s about six other drivers on the grid I can call up to help me out. We all know they love my presence in the paddock more than yours.”

Again, Charles chose to ignore you. His stare remained on Lando, “You’re really going to let her talk about the other drivers right in front of you?”

You slammed your hand on the table, demanding that he give you his attention for once. Charles didn’t flinch, but everyone else did. Charles just leaned back in his chair, arrogance painted his face. 

“Pourquoi ça te dérange tant que je sois avec lui?” Why do you care so much that I’m with him?

“Pourquoi tu es avec lui? C'est ça la question.” Why are you with him? That’s the question.

You and Charles continued to raise your voices at each other across the table in French, saying anything and everything that came to mind, anything and everything that could hurt the other. Your brothers understood everything, your mother was waiting to see if she needed to intervene, and Lando had absolutely no idea what was happening, he didn’t speak French. 

But he understood some phrases.

“Va te faire enculer!” You practically screamed. Go fuck yourself. 

Lando was taken aback and he turned to you with wide eyes. You would have loved to excuse yourself from the table at this point, to take Lando and go back to his place, but your mother wasn’t about to let either of you get away with the bullshit that’s been happening all night.

Pascale snapped her fingers, calling for the attention of everyone in the room, but her gaze darted back and forth between you and Charles only. She pointed at you and then at him and then at the kitchen, “Dinner’s over. Both of you, you’re on clean up.”

It wasn’t uncommon in your youth for Pascale to split the household chores between the kids. She had four of them and like any typical mother, she taught her kids the importance of cleaning and pitching in around the house. 

But you didn’t even live there anymore. 

You would have volunteered to help regardless, but the fact that she was assigning you and Charles to dish duty now that you had finished eating was a telling sign that the two of you needed to work your shit out. 

Pascale pushed her chair away from the table and nodded towards the living room as her glare directed at her kids shifted to a warm gaze at Lando, “Come on, Lando, I’ve always wanted to show off baby pictures of Y/N. It’s a right of passage as her mother.”

“Maman, don’t, please,” you pleaded, but it was too late. Lando had practically jumped out of the chair and followed Pascale to the couch.

Arthur and Enzo stood up as well, they didn’t have any interest in reliving your childhood through the photo albums, but they also didn’t want to hang out in the kitchen and be uninvited witnesses to whatever you and Charles were undoubtedly going to argue about.

You stood up from your chair, collecting a few dishes from the table, “I wash, you dry.”

“You always wash.”

“Because everytime you wash you end up breaking plates in the sink and then it becomes a bigger mess for everyone.”

Charles had no comeback for that, he really couldn’t argue with facts. So reluctantly, he found himself standing elbow to elbow with you as you handed him the clean plates for him to dry and put away. 

Neither of you said a word.

Which was not Pascale’s intention. 

Hearing laughter behind you, you both glanced over your shoulders, catching each other's eyes momentarily before you stepped away from the sink to clear off some more dishes from the table. 

Your back was towards Charles when you looked up and saw Lando making his way towards you, a small wallet sized insert photo of you between his thumb and forefinger. You were maybe seven years old there, missing one of your front teeth just in time for picture day at school.

“This is adorable,” Lando told you, “Your mum said I can keep it.”

“You absolutely will not,” you rolled your eyes, stacking the glasses on top of each other. 

“You were such a cute kid,” Lando cooed, looking at the picture again. You already knew the question that was going to follow when he turned back towards you, “What happened?”

“Ha ha,” you mocked, flipping your middle finger up at him. 

Behind you, Charles cleared his throat. You turned and saw him standing with his back leaning against the counter, arms crossed over his chest with the empty drying rack behind him. 

“We can go after I finish cleaning,” you told Lando, sounding apologetic on behalf of how Charles had been treating him all night. 

Lando felt bad. He didn’t want you to rush out of there because Charles was making this uncomfortable for everyone. He liked getting to know Pascale and your brothers a bit better. Enzo and Arthur didn’t have a problem with Lando’s presence. 

It was just Charles.

“Why?” Lando asked, raising his voice slightly even though this was supposed to be more of a private conversation. He wanted Charles to hear. “I’ve got no plans tonight. We can stay as long as you want. Unless-” Lando looked over your shoulder towards Charles. “Do you want us to leave?”

“I want you to leave,” Charles mumbled and you all but slammed the glasses back on the dining room table as you turned around to face your asshole of a brother. 

“Okay, you know what?” you inhaled a heavy breath, hands clamming up in seconds as you suddenly felt very confined within the kitchen. “I have been nothing but supportive of you for your entire career. Is it possible, that for once, to just take a step back and be supportive of me?”

“Supportive of what?” Charles scoffed, gesturing towards Lando. “That you’re dating him? That’s not something I need to be supportive of. It’s not an achievement or a career, Y/N, you haven’t done anything! You slept with a driver, congratulations! Should I call up Pierre and Carlos and invite them over as well? Make it a whole affair?”

You weren’t sure when Lando stepped around the table to stand at your side but you’re thankful he did. He was there to put a loving hand on your arm, rubbing his thumb over your skin as Charles’ words hit you hard. It felt like someone was pressing all of their weight against your chest and you struggled to find your words as much as you fought to take a breath.

You could have screamed at him. You wanted to. 

Your brother couldn’t separate you, his sister, from you, his biggest fan. To him, those two things were supposed to coincide. 

And for so long, they did. 

But that wasn’t the case anymore.

“Okay,” you finally breathed out, voice trembling along with your hands. You were going to pretend like Charles’ words didn’t hurt you and you were going to remove yourself from this conversation before it could take any more difficult turns, before this got uglier. You looked up at Lando, “We’re leaving.”

This was when Pascale interjected again. She stood up from the couch, the painful look of disappointment plastered all over her features.

“Charles Marc Hervé Perceval, apologise to your sister.”

“All the middle names,” Arthur whispered, but unfortunately for him the room was deafeningly silent and everyone heard his little comment. He cowered back into the couch, hoping that if he just stared at Charles long enough, the attention would go back to him.

And it did. Charles shook his head, “I’m not apologising for anything.”

Charles was a lost cause. It was a battle you didn’t have the energy to fight any more tonight. 

You reached for your maman, squeezing her hand before going in for a hug. She apologised, of course she did. The last thing she wanted was to see her kids fight.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?” You told her and she nodded before moving in to give Lando a hug as well. She told him he was always welcome there when Lando thanked her for the dinner and for showing him the photo albums.

Lando said goodbye to Arthur and Enzo and then reached for your hand, tugging you into his side as you walked out of the house. You waved at Pascale as you made your way towards the car and you could see her expression shift into a glare as she turned around to give Charles a stern talking to before the door fully shut.

Like usual, Lando reached for the passenger door to open it for you, but he stopped you before you could get in by pulling you into his chest.

“Hey,” he whispered, his other hand finding your cheek to tilt your face up to meet his. “I’m sorry about tonight.”

A deep exhale passed through your lips, “You are the last person who should be apologising.”

“Yeah, well, the person who should be apologising isn’t going to,” Lando scoffed. “But you still deserve to hear it.”

Lando kissed your forehead, and then the tip of your nose and when you tilted your chin up just a little more, he pressed a final kiss to your lips before stepping back to let you get into the car.

He slid into the drivers side and had just started to reach for his seatbelt before he let it retract above his shoulder. 

“I left my wallet inside, I’ll be right back,” Leando leaned over to give you a kiss on the cheek, opening up the car door again. 

“I can go in and get it,” you offered, not wanting to have to subject Lando to Charles again.

“I’ll be two seconds, it’s fine.” He assured you, not leaving any room for discussion. He made his way up the walkway and you watched from the confinement of his car as he rapped his knuckles against the door.

It was Pascale who answered, obviously. She didn’t seem surprised to see Lando, moreso thankful if anything. 

“Lando, I’m so sorry,” Pascale said to him again, reaching for his arm to give it a squeeze. Pascale was a very touchy person, Lando came to realise, and you were cautious when it came to physical attention. Lando wondered where your closed off tendencies came from. He also wondered when that shift came between you two when you started to lean into his touches and being the one to reach for his hand first.

“You really have nothing to apologise for,” Lando said, his typical grin making another reappearance. He wasn’t going to let Pascale take responsibility for her son’s actions. He also wasn’t going to let it get to him the way Charles intended. 

She invited him inside, asking if he left anything and he told you that he did. But once inside, Charles shook his head and glanced around, “I actually just wanted to get a few more words with Charles quickly.”

Pascale nodded knowingly and pointed towards the balcony. Arthur sent him a smile that could have either read good luck or be careful, but Lando didn’t let himself think too much of it as he crossed the floor and slid the patio door open.

Charles glanced up from his phone and rolled his eyes when he saw who had joined him.

Lando much preferred your eye rolls. They were usually playful and teasing. You were never actually annoyed with him. He didn’t see your eye rolls and think of all of the exit routes like he was doing now as he stepped outside. 

Choosing to sit in the chair as opposed to joining Charles on the couch, Lando leaned forward and clasped his hands together atop of knees. 

This was strange for both of them.

Lando and Charles were friends. They got along well most of the time. They respected each other as people, as drivers. It wasn’t until Lando became more involved with you did Charles start to see the British driver in a different light. 

“You know I would never hurt her, right?” Lando started off by getting right to the point. The line that was drawn between them was you and Lando needed them both to be on the same side of this line, not vying for what they thought was best in their own opinions. 

“She’s not thinking about the consequences, Lando,” Charles took him by surprise, not coming back with attitude or with a bitter rebuttal, but with a voice of reason. “She’s happy, sure, but have either of you thought about the media presence in the paddock? What people might say? How might this affect your performance and mine? Formula 1 is hard enough as it is, mate. Racing aside, there are so many external factors that neither of you are considering.”

Lando nodded, piecing together what Charles was getting at, but he wasn’t someone who was easily persuaded. It took Lando weeks to work his way into your life, he wasn’t about to throw any of it away because Charles was sending him an intimidating glare.

“Charles, she’s spent her whole life considering those things,” Lando spoke calmly.

You made it clear you didn’t want a fight and he had your back, not wanting to start an argument either.

“Her own life takes a backseat to support you, to be your biggest fan. She, for the most part, has stayed out of trouble, stayed out of the spotlight so you could shine, so there would be no tarnishing of the Leclerc name. She’s been there for you during the best and the worst of times. All she’s ever wanted was to see you succeed.” Lando shook his head, as he recalled one of your first conversations. “When I took her out in Montreal, she was the one that told me she doesn’t date drivers. That wasn’t a rule you had set for her, that was something she decided for herself. Her fears controlled her, she didn’t want to have to worry about you and someone else during a race-”

“What, so now she’s just going to worry about you?” Charles cut him off and Lando could sense that he was growing more agitated with each passing second. 

“No, you idiot,” Lando had to tell himself to keep a straight face. “She’s not letting her fears control her anymore. She’s choosing to believe that what happens in the real world doesn’t affect what happens on the track. She doesn’t want to worry about either of us. She wants to cheer both of us on, and you’re selfishly putting her in a position where she has to choose.”

Lando pressed his palms against his legs and stood up from the chair, essentially ending the conversation there before Charles could think of something else to add, another reason as to why they shouldn’t date that would inevitably go in one ear and out the other.

When Lando reached for the handle of the patio door, he paused before sliding it open, “I’m not trying to take her from you, or from her family. I just want her to be happy and you should want that for her too."

“I do,” Charles agreed, but his words didn’t match the tone, like he was fighting with himself. 

Lando wasn’t going to offer any suggestions as to how Charles could stop getting in the way. It wasn’t up to Lando to remind Charles what his place was in your life, that was for him to figure out on his own. Lando simply nodded at the Monegasque driver and walked back inside. 

Pascale walked him to the front door, apologising one last time for her son's words and actions throughout the night, but Lando assured her that he still had a great time. She invited him back, telling Lando that she was happy to see her daughter look so at peace for once. 

All while Lando was inside your mother’s home, you sat in his car, adjusting the air conditioning and the angle of the seat. You flipped the radio on, but at this time of night there were only remixes and horrible cookie-cutter pop songs that you just couldn’t stand. 

You just wanted to distract yourself because Lando was taking a while. He said two seconds but you watched the digital clock on the screen slowly change and it had been at least two minutes since he shut the front door behind him.

You turned the radio off and opened up the glove box, hoping for an instruction manual on how to connect your phone to the bluetooth, but there was nothing in there. So you flipped open the middle compartment next.

There was no manual, but there was a wallet. 

Of course you picked it up to confirm it was in fact Lando’s, but then that just left you with the question, why did he go back inside the house?

The light from the front foyer caught your eye and you glanced up to see your mother giving Lando a hug. Apparently he had made quite the impression on her tonight.

You dropped the wallet back inside the compartment and closed it right before Lando reached the car. He slid into the driver's seat and looked at you with his usual cheeky smile, the one that gave him those faint lines around his lips and caused his eyes to squint. 

“Find it?” You asked.

Lando hesitated before nodding, “Yeah, was stuck in the couch cushions. Must have fallen out of my pocket.”

And you knew he was lying, but you didn’t question any further. Lando reached across the console to connect his hand with yours as he started to take off in the direction of his flat, jumping into a conversation about your baby photos and how sweet Pascale was, choosing to purposely disregard Charles and his behaviour.

Whatever reason Lando had to go back inside, you didn’t care to ask about it. 

You trusted Lando. You knew Lando was someone who would take care of you, even if you didn’t ask for it. His motives, his words, his stupid plan to move up your driver ranking, all of it was pure at heart with nothing but good intentions. 

He just wanted to be with you and in return, he hoped you would want to be with him as well. 

And against all odds, you were going to make this work.

masterlist here (side note - part 12 (the next chapter) will be the final part)

taglist: @moneymasnn@thotd-f1 @masonspulisic @mcmuppet@f1-futurewag-16-3-4-63 @alilstressyandlotdepressy @themisric @happydazzz123 @moonxblossom @norrisleclercf1 @scarlettisconfused @sbgal @e-lisa-bettan @harrysdimple05 @ophcelia @alesainz @fandomxs1 @majx00 @sbgal @mehrmonga @themockingjayreader @f1mockingjay @topguncultleader @lclrnelliluvs @moonxblossom @dr3lover @andrewgarfields-girlfriend @tsarinablogs @noescapricho-essentimiento @f1mockingjay @xqueenslytherinx if i missed someone im so sorry

[beatrixstonehill2]

"I'm a bit nervous but still pretty excited. My parents always raised me to believe it's a woman's job to please her man no matter what. If your bf is into big tits, you better grow bigger boobs or get the biggest implants you can stuff into them! Is he into fat girls? You better pile on all the weight you can for him. My friend Marcy dated a guy who was really turned on by girls with no arms or legs. She didn't hesitate for a minute to pop into the nearest surgeon and ask to have her limbs removed, despite being a gymnastics coach. I always admired any girl with that level of dedication and would feel like a failure as a woman if I couldn't reach the same standard.....

So, when I met Josh four months ago, and on our first date he confided he had a fetish for girls who get so pregnant they pop, my heart skipped a beat! Maybe..... this was like my ultimate test to prove how devoted I am to pleasing men and being a proper, good girl? I consulted with my parents and they were shocked I even thought the need to get their blessing. Sure enough a day later and my bf tells my doctor to put me on Femruptarin. My doctor looked very pleased about this, telling him he was a very lucky man, and to expect me to blow up in seven to eight months and enjoy the show. That he better flaunt me and show me off the whole time I'm pregnant. He promised he would, and that this isn't his first rodeo with bursting a girl by a long shot. I'm his tenth..... The whole time my bf and doctor never addressed me directly or asked my permission. I was perfectly womanly, acted on as an object for others' pleasure and nothing more. Like how Marcy existed to become her bf's limbless, breeder sex slave I exist to burst like a balloon for Josh.

I'm technically only about three and a half months pregnant and look at the size of me! I'm as big as a house. My womb is stuffed to the bursting point already and I'm tiny compared to how big I'll be by the time I fulfill my womanly duties for Josh and pop. True to his word, Josh trots me around town dressed in ludicrously skimpy clothes, showing me off, offering my body to men, since my body is technically his to give out! He makes me perform the wildest sex acts in public and I have to admit it is a lot of fun, and I do climax quite a lot before the crowds of people that gather, but my pleasure is not what's important..... Even if it is amazing to be sprawled out naked before a huge crowd, serving five cocks at once, my puffy, swollen pussy brutalized so utterly I squirt like a fire hydrant across the paved walkways of the local park. I love to be ravaged and fucked so savagely by random men, it's so very thrilling, I feel blessed to become Josh's girlfriend, even if it'll only last another five or six months if we're lucky.

Then I'll put on my best show yet for my community, and pop in front of them all, my uterus at last tearing and giving way as I shower my offering of twenty-some kids before my watchful audience. Free gifts for them to raise into the future devoted girlfriends and wives of our fair town..... It's so fulfilling to serve such an incredible man like Josh and be given the opportunity to be used as the community's personal receptacle for pent up sexual aggression. I hope Josh's next girlfriend is just as eager to burst for him, and he gets to indulge his fantasies with many, many more girls after her! Bursting is such a true sign of devotion that I'm positively blessed to be given the chance to give my body to do it for a guy!"

[lalunanymph]

𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐈𝐓 — i.rin

both of your lives take an unexpected turn

Rin's pretty sure he's never fucked up this badly before.

Besides the dried scabs on his knees, and a few litany of scars covering his arms from one too many dives on the verdant green fields, he's remained largely unscathed from any real harm (though emotionally, his history begs to differ).

Looking back at it, he supposes he should've manoeuvred this situation better—and that's what it is, he bitterly thinks—a fucking situation.

Too much champagne, not enough common sense; your bedroom eyes begging him to unravel the layers behind your double meaning, and two weeks later, he's staring at a text on his blurry screen telling him how your period was worryingly and undoubtedly late.

He steps down from the treadmill, grabs his water bottle and unscrews it with too much force. Chugging down the cold liquid, he remembers how you told him you were safe—that you could be trusted with this little... indiscretion.

One slip up and now he's done for life.

That's eighteen years of payments and court visits and in-laws breathing down his neck and Sae's disappointment and his entire football career shooting up in flames. He can already see the headlines.

Breaking news: Blue Lock's ace, Itoshi Rin, trades cleats for diapers.

Fuck. He's furious.

If he'd known how much you had fucked up, he wouldn't even take the risk. Wouldn't even bother going along with your lame attempts at flirting or wandering away from the club to sneak behind the back of his Range Rover with your lips glued to his.

He wouldn't have caved to Shidou's egging in the first place or tried to show off his prowess by giving into the other boys making fun of his sparse sex life.

Rin had proven their point by taking you home and now, he was reaping the consequences.

Scowling and seeing red, he furiously brings up your name, reads through your text at least four times.

I think I'm pregnant and you're the last man I was with. Please, call me when you have the time, Rin. It's an emergency.

He swears under his breath, slams his locker door shut. The dark-haired man should've never given you his number. He should've never even locked eyes with you across the smoky, crowded room from the very beginning.

A part of him, that sick, twisted part, wonders if he could get away with it: block your number, forget you ever existed and call for a restraining order if you decided to push him for a heftier child support bill.

After all, everything's fair in disputes and disloyalties.

But, he decides to see you; to pay you off and buy your silence before it gets out of hand.

Rin doesn't bother to shower, getting into his car and driving to your apartment still saved under his GPS app. He drives like a man possessed, slamming the brakes right in front of your decent condo and barking out your unit name to the poor, old guard.

He finds your place soon enough, retraces the steps he took on that drunken night with his surprisingly sharp memory to find himself right in front of your door. Ringing the door bell, it doesn't take long for his keen ears to catch your footsteps, every muscle in his body tensing when you slide the door open and he catches the first sight of your red-rimmed eyes.

"I'm not taking responsibility for it."

The harsh words tumble out of his mouth and right onto your unsuspecting threshold, stunning you into an awkward silence.

You look tired, dressed in a ratty old band t-shirt he remembers vaguely listening to in his teenage years and nothing else. Your hair is sticking out in odd ends and you're in a pair of socks a size too big, the bands sagging around your ankles.

Though you don't say a word, he knows you're reeling from his callous statement, lashes fluttering against your cheek as you blink, once—twice. Trying to chase off the tears smarting in the corners of your eyes.

He notices a gold bracelet around your wrist—Cartier, or some other shitty brand the rest of the guys were always clamouring to get for their side pieces. Rin crosses his arms, the compression black shirt he's wearing stretches tightly over his chest, and he hopes his heart isn't beating too fast to be seen past the flimsy material.

"Okay," you eventually croak, bobbing your head once in an clumsy nod. "Thank you for letting me know... I guess."

You make to close the door, but in a fit of rage, he stops you with a foot wedged between the door and its frame.

"Don't tell me you're planning to keep it?" You don't dare look into those stormy teal eyes, shaking your head.

"I don't know what to do with the baby yet, Rin. I'll keep you posted if I change my mind."

Something despairing drags its talons right into his chest, and he drops his arms, scrutinises you from head to toe.

"You're not financially stable enough to make that choice."

Deep hurt flashes behind your eyes, and it translates to an insurmountable anger exploding across your face, almost blinding him with your fury.

"And who are you to make that decision for me, huh?"

Nudging his foot off the frame, you mimic his stance, crossing your arms and shooting him a terrifying scowl. Rin almost feels the heat of your glare burning into his skin—almost.

"What if I wanted to keep it? You will have no say in what I do or do not do with this baby, Itoshi. So, I suggest you shut the fuck up."

His nostrils flare, and he leans forward, towering over you with his bigger and muscular build. "So, you're admitting it. You wanted to trap me. This was your plan all along, huh? What was in it for you? The child support money? The clout?"

Every piercing accusation results in one step forward until you have no choice but to unwittingly let him into your home. He backs you up to the wall, overpowering you with his intangible wrath, like he was about to make the game play that would ruin you for life.

"All you sluts are the same. Parading around in miniskirts, trying to shackle up with footballers because no real man would ever pay you a lick of attention—"

His head snaps to the side, the force of your slap ricocheting off the walls. You gasp, as if you hadn't meant to do it, palms flying right to your mouth.

"Rin—"

He lunges at you, trapping you with his bigger build, and you swear he's about to kill you with how those teal eyes are gouging right into your soul. But, he grips your cheeks, forcing you to look him square in the eyes...

... and devour your lips with a harsh kiss.

Your soft squeak is lost in the throes of his moan, hot and sticky hands sliding underneath your shirt to grip your naked hips, driving you right against his pelvis where you feel his insistence and need poking you on the thigh.

Rin stuffs his tongue down your throat, kneads your fleshy hips in his much, much bigger palms.

You can't resist him, not when you're already weak from the heartbreak and carrying a piece of him deep in your body.

"Rin," you whine, and he feverishly suckles more kisses and bites down your lower lip, your jaw, your chin.

"Fuck you," he hisses, reaching your pulse point and sloppily painting more biting kisses on the sensitive strip of skin. "You're such a fucking lukewarm problem."

He grasps your hips, hitches you up in his arms so you're forced to wrap your legs around his narrow waist.

"How could you do this to me?" he moans, ecstatic and in pain, the tips of his eyelashes prickling your cheek when he nibbles on your lobe. His hot breath sends ripples of pleasure down your spine, and you cry out when he slaps your ass with both hands. "Thought I could fuck you with no consequences... you're too damn sexy for your own good... had to put a fucking baby in you—fuck!"

He yelps when you tug on his hair, the pinch of pain going straight to his throbbing length.

"Go away," you gasp, pressing your palms flush to his broad chest and giving a good push. He loses his grip on you and you tumble right to the floor, landing on your ass.

"Ow—!"

You swear, rubbing your aching hip bone and scramble to stand with the last of your dignity intact. Still buzzing and thrumming with lust, Rin sweeps his glacial gaze over you, noting the hurt bleeding all over your sweet face; how you're close to tears and your lower lip is wobbling.

He can't keep his eyes off your bare thighs, or your nipples poking past the thin fabric of your old shirt.

Wrapping your arms around your torso, you back away from him, putting a good few feet between your cold body and his painfully aroused one.

"Get out of my home," you gasp, trying hard not to give into the flurry of tears desperately clogging the back of your throat. "Get out, Itoshi. You're fucking confusing me. I need you to leave."

The anger overshadows his urges, and he takes one step forward, only for you to flinch hard and take one hard step back, as if...

He comes to a stop, teal eyes wide and flashing.

As if you thought he was going to hurt you.

Rin senses what he must look like to you now—emotionally charged, spewing words of hate only to turn around and kiss you like he was a starved man...

You couldn't predict his next move.

Worst, you were afraid of him.

His shoulders droop, eyes falling to the ground. He senses more than notices that you're shaking, your instincts telling you to protect yourself from any perceived harm in your way... going as far to protect the child you were carrying from its unstable father with your arms wrapped around your torso.

Rin straightens, about to apologize when you're tugging his arm, pushing him out of your home.

"I-I'll deal with it myself," you promise in a thick voice. "I won't ask you for money or help. Just g-go, Rin. Please."

Despite weighing more in muscle than your entire frame, you succeed in pushing the famous footballer out of your home, slamming the door close right in front of his stunned face.

Rin doesn't even have time to compute what had just happened, staring at the chipped wood of the barrier right in front of him.

Despite the harsh exit you bestowed to him, he can't find the capacity to be understanding of your needs, arms folded, glare stuck on his handsome face.

I'm gonna get her back for this, he seethes. No matter how long it takes. I'll make you pay, Y/N.

Rin spends the rest of the week lingering outside your apartment when he has a spare moment after practice. He watches your back like a hawk, keeping his eyes steadfast on your belly. You had taken to wearing looser clothing, no more skin tight skirts and tank tops, but modest knee length skirts and flowy blouses.

He shadows your shadow in grocery stores, and observes in displeasure how you're struggling with the heavy bags. When you least expects it, he strides over to you, lifting the bundle you were holding with barely a grimace.

"Rin—!" you double back, unsure if you're seeing things.

Those icy teal eyes appraise you, and in his black windbreaker and windswept hair, he takes your breath away like he did all those weeks ago in the club.

"Get in. I'm driving."

"Were you following me?" you almost screech, glancing around as if you expect a swarm of cameras and someone to yell gotcha!

There was no way he would be here on his own choice.

It didn't make any sense, but he doesn't stop to say another word, marching towards your old sedan.

You hurry after him, tugging on his sleeve. "Hey! You can't just pop out of nowhere and boss me around!"

Rin pauses, stares you down the line of his nose. "I can. I just did. Now, are you going to continue putting the baby in danger or are you going to do as I say and get in the car?"

He's insane. You're fuming, wondering who exactly this asshole thought he was.

"I—"

"Don't argue with me. Not now. Let's just go home." Scrutinizing you from head to toe, he sets down the bags and shrugs off his jacket, slinging it around your shoulders without paying any attention to your protests.

"Put this on. Your blouse is too thin."

Without another word, he trudges back to the car, and you hesitantly follow after him.

Seeing Rin after what had happened all those days ago feels like the world's strongest whiplash; like you had stepped out from a rollercoaster only to be greeted by an entirely different reality.

He drives your car in a stony silence, as if nothing had happened. As if he hadn't told you to fend for yourself after renouncing his responsibility for you and the baby.

Perturbed, you touch your stomach absentmindedly and he notices.

"Have you been eating enough?" he murmurs tersely.

You nod, unsure why you were conceding so easily to his questions. Perhaps, it was the novelty of having someone as gorgeous and willing as Rin to take care of you. You feel both elated and disgruntled; confused and brimming with happiness.

"Why're you here?" you finally ask, a tremble in your question.

Rin expertly navigates his way back to your apartment, and you're thrown off by how easily he recognizes where to park; how seamlessly he gets out and gestures for you to do the same.

The star striker doesn't answer your question, and you mutely trail behind him. Once the groceries were set on your table, you quickly unload them, an awkward 6'4 statue of a man standing in the middle of your living room watching your every move.

Only when you perch your knee on the counter to reach the highest cabinet to stow your cans of tomato soup did he move to action, grunting in displeasure and gently easing you back to the ground; taking over your task.

"Rin," you hiss, shooting him a glare.

Not one to back down, he returns your glare tenfold, an expression that quells any further protests. Rin quickly attends to your groceries, and then, much to your fury, settles himself on your couch.

"Um," you start, "Not to be an ass or anything, but aren't you going to leave?"

He shrugs. "Do you need me to leave?"

You open your mouth, close it. Feeling like he had got the better of you.

But, two can play at this game.

Approaching him, you trap him to the sofa with your hands clawed on the plush velvet, glaring down at him with every drop of anger and disgust you could muster.

"Who the hell do you think you are, Itoshi Rin?"

This close, you notice how long his lashes are—how they cast shadows over his perfect cheekbones. The tip of his nose is red from the cold, and the corners of his lips were slightly chapped.

"Listen here, Itoshi," you snarl, and he tilts his head up, calmly appraising your anger.

She's like a kitten, hissing and chomping at any sign of affection.

It's amusing that he almost reaches out to brush a stray lock of hair from your face—almost.

"I don't know what's gotten into that stupid head of yours, but need I remind you that you were the one who told me you hated me and wanted nothing to do with me or the baby? Or, did you conveniently forget?"

Rin cocks a brow, unfazed by your accusations or your proxomity.

"I never did say I hated you."

Your eyes widen, taken off guard by his admittance. Rin uses this opportunity to strike, folding his larger hands around your waist and twisting you onto the couch so he was looming over you.

The navy cashmere sweater he's wearing rides up a bit, showing off a sliver of his pale waist. You flush, remembering the compromising position he once put you in those nights ago; how he's relieving it together with you now.

Those teal eyes... I never knew such a shade of icy blue could look like twin flames.

There's no sound in the room except for both of your heavy breathing.

Rin can't stop himself from his impulses this time, pushing back a loose lock from your forehead, his touch searing every inch of skin he inadvertently caresses.

You feel like your cheeks are on fire, but Rin doesn't even look fazed. That calm and collectedness he contains behind such a monster on the field plays with your mind, and you don't know how else to react but to turn your face away.

"I changed my mind," he simply says. "I want to be here for you."

"What about your career?" you finally muster up the courage to ask. "I can't sit around and wait for you to toss me aside again. I... I won't let you play with my emotions like that, Rin."

He doesn't apologize, and he never will. Itoshi Rin is infuriatingly stubborn that way.

We don't even know each other that well. He finds himself falling into your gaze, how they enraptured and trapped him all those nights ago. The taste of your lips and how soft they felt pressed against his own.

Fuck it. Fuck everything. I want this. I want her.

He wishes he could say all that. But, what comes out of his mouth is something else entirely.

"Shut up and stop whining," he mumbles, those teal eyes searing through every doubt you had.

"I won't leave you. I'm here for good."

©️ all works belong to lalunanymph. do not copy, repost or claim as your own.

[helaelaemond]

Teach Me Your Touch - Michael Gavey x Reader

HELAELAEMOND’S KINKTOBER

thank you @arcielee for the banner!

Pairing:  Michael Gavey x f!reader

Word count: 3k

Summary: You missed a lecture and have your classmate Michael Gavey share his notes and help you catch up. He's not good at teaching, and he makes you feel stupid. He makes you feel bad. When you cry, he wants to fuck you all better.

Content warning(s): light elements of bullying (prior to smut), feelings of intellectual inferiority

KINK CATEGORIES: public sex, crying, inexperience/loss of virginity (male), fingering (female receiving)

Rating: E

Tagging those who showed interest: @llemes @assortedseaglass @sapphire-writes @theoneeyedprince @ewanmitchellcrumbs @humanpurposes @underjeno @st-eve-barnes @arcielee @babyblue711

Michael's voice is snappy. "Are you listening to me?"

You look up at him in defeat. "Yes, I'm trying! But I don't-"

"I can't make it any clearer!"

You lean forward on the table and rest your head in your hands. "You're making me feel stupid."

He huffs. "Maybe you are."

Arsehole. Why did you even ask him for his help? You know he's a dickhead, but he's also smart. Last semester, you worked on a group project with him and although he was terrible working with other people, his understanding of the subject was unmatched. He's like a walking calculator, for God's sake, and that intellect seems to apply to every module.

Besides, last time, he had a mean streak, but he also seemed to soften with you. You're not exactly a bombshell, but you're still a woman, and he's a lonely man. You were kind to him last time you worked together, and it made him kinder, too.

Whatever rapport once existed between you, though, seems to have faded. Now, you're sat on the second floor of Radcliffe library under the tall arched ceilings at 2am. No one else is around to see your shame, thankfully.

It's been a long time since you've felt simple. You shouldn't feel stupid - you're on the same course as him! You only missed one lecture! It shouldn't be this hard!

"You're not making it easy to understand," you mumble.

"What?" he asks, irritated.

You lift your head and look at him, eyes red. "My mind doesn't work as quick as yours. I need you to explain it differently."

He blinks at you from behind his thick glasses, and you watch as he swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing above his buttoned collar. "Right. Fine. You did the reading, and you understand that a tangled hierarchy is a hierarchical consciousness system in which a strange loop appears. Right?"

Clenching your jaw, you nod. "That much I understand, Michael. I'm not as simple as you think."

"I don't think you're simple. I think you're acting simple."

It's too late and you're too tired. Hot tears spill down your cheeks. "You're acting mean."

"What?" He has the audacity to look shocked. "I'm helping!"

"No, you're not." You stand up and shove your notes into your rucksack hastily, along with your pens and library copy of the required reading. "You've spent the last three hours making me feel stupid and small and unintelligent, and you've enjoyed every second."

"No!" he protests angrily. "Don't tell me how I feel!"

"Alright! Well, that's how you've made me feel! And that's not fair! God, I really thought-" You cut yourself off and take a deep breath. But you're still crying, and it's embarrassing, and you furiously wipe away your tears. They're quickly replaced.

Michael stands up and follows you as you stalk off down the rows and rows of bookcases. He calls your name, but you ignore him. It's loathsome how hearing him say it gives you butterflies. "Will you just wait?" he shouts.

You whirl around to face him, making your rucksack fall off your shoulder and onto the floor. The noise echoes in the cavernous library, and you're suddenly very aware of how empty it is of other people. It didn't bother you before. It doesn't exactly bother you now, either, but... but there's something intense about the way he looks at you. It's angry, it's apprehensive, it's... it makes your skin crawl.

"What is it, Michael?" you ask. You're caught somewhere between anger and weariness.

"It's not my fault you feel stupid," he says defiantly.

"For the love of-"

"Because you're not stupid. You're just acting it. Like I said."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

He swallows. "Yes. You're not as smart as me. But that doesn't mean you're stupid."

You laugh dryly. "I don't know why I was ever nice to you. You have no interest in being nice to me."

Again, confusion flickers over his face. "I agreed to help you, didn't I? that's nice!"

"I think you only agreed to it so you could make me feel like dirt." You pick up your bag again and continue your way to the stairs that will take you down to the main entrance. You're still crying. He's absolutely shattered you tonight, and it's not fair.

Suddenly, there's a hand around your wrist, and it stops you in your tracks. It becomes abundantly clear that Michael Gavey is far stronger than he looks. You're left breathless when, out of nowhere, he pulls you between tall bookcases. He towers over you. You've always noticed how tall he is. Despite his somewhat bookish appearance, there's something about him that has always been nice to look at. Perhaps it's his thick hair, or his sharp jaw, or his pretty blue eyes. Something about him, despite his nasty streak, makes you wish he approved of you.

"Stop crying."

You sniff and look up at him in shame. "I'm trying."

"Try harder."

That makes your face crumple again. "Leave me alone."

"I want to help."

"Let me go."

"You're kind to me," he says, his voice suddenly quieter. When he says your name, it cracks. "I'm trying to make you feel better."

"It's not working."

"Teach me," he whispers. The intensity with which he is now looking at you in almost too much.

"Say something nice about me."

"Oh. Um." His hand loosens slightly on your wrist. You're all too aware of how clammy it is against your skin. You don't care. Any touch from him is, unfortunately, welcome. "Your work on our projective geometry project was good."

"I know it was."

"Alright." He licks his lips. His eyes dart to yours. "You're... good at explaining things in different ways. I'm not."

You sniff, and look down at your feet. His body is close to yours, and your gaze catches something in his trousers. Perhaps his zipper is caught on something. Or perhaps... perhaps...

Your heart races.

"Why did you agree to help me?" you ask, eyes still downcast.

"You asked."

"Why?"

"I..."

"Tell me the truth, Michael."

"Um."

It's so late, and you're so tired. The uncertainty makes the tears fall again. Your head hurts so much. "I'm going."

Michael cries out your name throatily. In a heartbeat, he grasps your shoulders and pushes you against the bookcase, and then his tall, lean body is pressed against yours and his clammy hands find their place on your neck. "Don't cry," he tells you. His face comes closer to yours. His glasses begin to steam up.

"You've done this to me."

"I want to make you feel better. But..."

"But?"

"But you're so pretty when you cry."

And then he kisses you.

It is messy, wet, and needy. He doesn't hesitate to push his tongue against yours, and his glasses press against your face. It should make you squirm away. But it makes you whimper quietly. Your bag drops to the floor, and your hands fly to his narrow hips. You open your mouth wide against his desperately, your teeth clinking against his, and he mirrors you until your lips, your cheeks, your nose, are wet with his spit.

He doesn't know what he's doing. You hardly do, either. And it's so fucking good.

"Michael," you whisper between hard and deep kisses.

He groans your name. "I've thought about this since we first met."

"You thought about me?"

He nods, before burying his face in your throat. His greedy mouth kisses up and down before they settle where your neck and shoulder meet, and he sucks. At his hips, your hands ball into fists around his belt. The carabiner he wears on it with a collection of USBs knocks against your fingers and you tug on it.

You want to fuck him.

"Yeah," he murmurs against your skin. "Think about you in lectures. What I wanna do to you."

To you. Not with you. God, that should make you want to leave. Instead, you resolve to stay.

"Yeah?" you ask breathlessly. "Show me."

"Okay."

Nervous sweat dampens his forehead, but you don't care. You feel it when he presses it against yours and palms you over your jacket. Your soft bra is padded, and you can hardly feel his touch. It's driving you mad. In frustration, you unbutton your shirt quickly and look up at him. "Touch me. Please, Michael, please-"

He breathes loudly through his mouth. His lips are wet with sailva; he's practically drooling. He hesitates.

"Have you been with a woman before?" you ask, chest heaving with need.

His grits his teeth, anger flashing across his face at the question, the mere insinuation that this is his first time. You take that as a no.

So it's your turn to teach him. But just from his desperate kisses, you're almost blind with desire, and there's not much patience left in you. So you pull your breast free from its cup, and press on the back of his head. He's so fucking tall. "Kiss me here," you whine softly. "Suck my nipple."

He is a better pupil than tutor. Perhaps, if you were less aroused, you would tell him to be gentler. But as it is, his eagerness is rough and hard and just what you need. The sharp pull of his mouth sends electricity through you, from your head to your toes, and you arch up against him.

"Your hand," you tell him. "Down my trousers. You thought about that, right?"

Against your breast, he nods. He bites your nipple, and you dig your teeth into your lip to keep quiet. It's the middle of the night, but anyone could walk in.

He fumbles with your button and zipper, and then his hand is down the front of your jeans and you spread your legs. He palms you hard, and instinctively, you grind against the touch.

"Let me show you something." Your breathing is laboured already, just like his. He releases your breast from his mouth and meets your gaze with pupils blown wide. You feel your heartbeat under his hand.

You wriggle your jeans down to your knees and then push down your underwear too, enough that you can spread your legs and cover his hand with yours. You guide his long fingers against your cunt, and it takes no time at all to show him how hot and swollen your clit is.

"Like that," you whisper as you press his digits into a firm and fast pace.

"God," he whimpers. "You're so... you're wet."

You nod. "Yeah. Means I want you."

Without needing to be guided this time, his touch strays down, and he presses his middle finger through your folds. When he finds your entrace and slips inside, he moans so loudly that you have to clamp your hand over his mouth.

His eyes are wide and pleading with you. He watches your face so closely as he pushes a second finger inside of you, and he kisses and sucks at your palm against his mouth.

"That's good," you tell him quietly, nodding your head. "Rub circles around my clit with your thumb. Oh, God, yeah, like that. That's good, Michael. Oh, God, don't stop."

When your hand against his mouth goes slack, he takes the opportunity to kiss you again. He shoves his tongue back into your mouth and it's so messy, so needy so erotic, that you have to quickly push his hand away depsite your previous order.

"What?" he asks, suddenly panicked. "What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing," you gasp. "Gonna make me come already."

His cheeks flush a deep red. "Really?"

He grins lopsidedly, and you whine, "want you inside."

Gulping, and with shaking hands, he unbuckles his belt and the clink of metal seems to echo loudly in the cavernous hall. He shuffles his trousers down his hips, mirroring you, and you look down to see how his hard cock strains against the soft briefs he wears. God, there shouldn't be anything sexy about the y-fronts he's sporting, but you can see the thick outline of him, his heavy balls, and its maddening.

Neither of you care that you're in public now. He pushes his underwear down, too, and when you whisper for him to lift you up, he does it with surprising easy. You kick your trousers and underwear off, spread your legs for him, and grasp the bookshelves at your back for support. His arms are hooked under your thighs and he watches with glasses slipping down his nose as his cock lines up against you.

Instinct takes over. He shoves his cock through your folds, back and forth, coating himself with your arousal, and he presses over your clit with his tip time and time again.

He moans your name too loudly.

"Shh," you soothe, as if you're not fighting with all of your strength to stay quiet. "God, that feels good."

"Inside?" he asks, unable to take his eyes off his cock on your cunt.

"If you want."

"I do." He meets your gaze. There's a vulnerability in him that you haven't seen before. And then you clench, and he feels your muscles tighten, and desire wins out. After a moment of slipping through you, he presses his blunt head against you, and pushes into you in one, swift movement.

The speed takes you by surprise. He's bigger than the vibrator you've been satisfied with lately, but that's alright. You're wet and throbbing, relaxed enough to take him. But it's still a stretch, albeit a blissful one. It's a stretch that borders the line between sweet and stinging, and tears prick your eyes. Good tears, this time.

"Okay?" he asks, voice cracking.

They drip down your cheeks but you smile, biting your lip, and nod. "Yeah. Hard. Go hard, Michael. Need- God, need you!"

And he does as you tell him. "Think about you," he grunts as he thrusts hard and fast. He's on the tip of his toes, knees bent, as he sets a brutal pace that has your body aflame. "All the... fuck, all the time. Oh! Oh!"

You clamp your hand back over his mouth to stifle his moans, and they dissolve into whimpers that match his hard, laboured breaths. They come through his nose and make the skin of your hand prickle. Michael grips your hips hard enough to bruise and it's so good, it's so fucking good. He wants you, he needs you. That's why he agreed to help you. That's why he accepted your kindness.

He likes you. Buried six inches deep in you, you realise this. It makes you bury your face into his neck, and you bite his earlobe. He whimpers in response. "Shh," you soothe.

"Close," he groans against your hand.

"Me too," you breathe. The coil in your stomach is tightening. The tension in your thighs spreads up your back, between your shoulders, and all the way down to your toes. As you wrap your legs around his slim waist, you wonder, in the back of your mind, if the shoes you still wear will leave a mark on his shirt.

"Oh, fuck, fuck, so good, fuck-!" He comes suddenly, buried deep inside you, and you feel him spurt inside of you. But it doesn't matter, you're so undone it doesn't matter, it doesn't fucking matter-!

He whines your name and presses his groin tight against your as his orgasm stutters over him. Dropping his head on your shoulder, he pants, and whispers your name.

"Michael," you protest quietly. "Plase, I'm not there, I'm-"

You rock your hips against him needily. As if it is the easiest thing in the world, he sets you down and pulls out, and immediately replaces his cock with his hand. Just as you showed him before, he buries his fingers back in your pussy and circles your clit with his thumb, and you appreciate it, you do, but it's not enough, it's not enough-

"Oh, God," you groan softly. "Like this."

You're trembling close and youre's so needy, and you grab his hand and press all fingers against your mound, showing him to press as hard and fast as he can. It hurts in the best way, and his hand is almost a blur, and he studies your face with an open mouth as your expression crinkles, tightens, your jaw slack and eyes scrunched closed.

The orgasm he gives you explodes through your body and you white out, knees giving way and balancing falling through. With his hand still firm against your cunt, he catches you and holds you steady, and you clutch against him blindly for balance. "I've got you," he grunts. "Easy."

But there's pride in his voice. He keeps his hand against you even after your orgasm has washed over you. Your flesh there twitches, hot and swollen, and his fingers gently press in different places to learn about you. Whatever information he gathers makes him smile.

After a long moment, enough strength returns to you that you can stand steadily again. "God, that was..."

"Acceptable?" he asks hopefully.

You're bending down to pull your underwear and trousers back on, and you glance up, trying not to grin. "It was good."

He smiles slightly and nods, looking away as if deep in thought. "Alright, that's good, then. Next time, should I wait for you to... to finish first?"

"Next time?" you ask with a quiet laugh. Standing upright, you do your trousers back up and he does the same, the USB still swinging from his belt.

"We have to do this again." Michael says it as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. And then, he brings the hand up covered in your wetness, and he licks his fingers clean. His eyes close in bliss. "You taste so sweet."

Biting the inside of your cheek, you smile even wider. "You don't have to do that."

Swallowing, he murmurs your name and smiles. It's the most genuine smile you've seen him wear. "Oh, I do. You know me. Always had a sweet tooth."

[zara-renata]

No way out, revised

I thought that MC was too mean to Sylus in his 4 star No Way Out card, and I didn't like it, so I fixed it. I mean, I rewrote how it went like a proper rabid fan. Summary: Sylus shows up injured near MC's place, MC tends to his injuries, and he takes advantage of the situation like a vampire and secures himself an open invitation into MC's home whenever he 'needs' it.

Reader POV, Second person POV, gender neutral reader CWs: blood, injury, Sylus is hurt and bleeds a lot, foul language, cursing, MC has a dangerously messy apartment and how do you live like this??, Sylus is manipulative (just a little) to get what he wants. I see a lot of people putting minors do not interact and 18+ and whatnot warnings on their fics. Anything I write isn't intended for children, but I'm not your mom, read what you want. SFW in terms of sex, except for MC's barely contained thotiness in the face of Sylus's scent and sharp teeth

ao3 link here

You can’t bring yourself to apologize to Sylus, properly. With words. After everything that happened when you first met him. First, because part of you feels like words will never be sufficient to make up for how gravely unfair it had been for you to blame him for … well. For everything. To the point of actually wanting to kill him. And another part of you thinks that if you ever do say the words out loud, and admit how terribly wrong you were about him, that the smug look on his face as a result would make you want to kill him all over again.

No, no, better not to risk it. Even when you try, the words just won’t choke their way out of your throat. So you resolve yourself to show him in other ways, with action. And though you don’t know him very well yet, you’re pretty sure that Sylus is the kind of man that appreciates action far more than pretty words (later, you will learn how wrong you are. Sylus is the decadent embodiment of “Why not both?”).

After you left the N109 zone, you didn’t expect to see him anytime soon, so you have no idea when you’ll be able to wipe the ledger clean on what you owe him, but when the opportunity presents itself, you’ll repay this debt to him, no questions asked. And then you’ll be free again. Free to return to your predictable, comparatively safe existence in Linkon City.

Of course, nothing about Sylus is predictable, so when you receive an alert on your hunter watch that a citizen is in distress near your flat, you almost can’t believe your eyes as you sprint down the sidewalk, careen around the corner of your favorite neighborhood place to get iced lattes, and skid to a stop in front of a very big, very hurt Sylus. Elbows on knees, head hanging low, and blood visibly dripping down one of his wrists from under the cuff of his beaten up black leather jacket.

“The fuck, Sylus?” You stand in front of him awkwardly, suppressing the bizarre instinct to get on your knees in front of him, to lift his face and check for the source of injury.

“Now that’s not the most professional greeting to a citizen in need from one of Linkon City’s most heroic hunters, is it?” He sounds almost normal, the deep grind of his voice steady, except for an almost imperceptible hitch when he lifts his head. From that alone, you can tell that he is in a lot of pain.

Part of you is really worried—you’ve seen how quickly he heals, how seemingly indestructible he is. To be sitting out here, exposed in the twilight, clearly vulnerable, must mean that he is pretty desperate. And another part of you is relieved: finally, you can repay your debt, show him that despite all of your previous misconceptions, you’re sorry for thinking so poorly of him, for trying to stab him in the face and then kind of shooting him through the heart. To be fair, he did pull the trigger, but you didn’t try very hard to stop him. And then once you’ve helped him and gotten him on his way, hopefully you can stop thinking about him altogether.

“Can you get up?” you finally ask, taking a step closer. He looks up into your face, and you see how pale he is.

In response, he leans forward in preparation of standing, but grunts and sits abruptly back down.

“I might need some of that famous hunter assistance,” he says, wincing. “I’m afraid a wanderer got the better of me.”

You sit down next to him on his uninjured side, feeling the heat radiate from his thigh and shoulder, and smell sour sweat under his already-familiar scent—warm skin, gun oil, and strangely, oranges.

“I’m going to put your arm over my shoulder and help you lift up, ok?” He nods quickly, and lets you lift his meaty arm over your shoulders without complaint, just another hitch in his breath as you haul him up.

“Don't tell me I'm too heavy for Linkon City's finest hunter,” he tries to tease, but leans on you even more heavily.

“I can deadlift you, Sylus. This is nothing.” Ok, maybe you’re exaggerating. But if his weight presented a problem for you, you’d be a pretty piss-poor hunter. You pause for a moment, readjusting his arm around your neck. “I’m assuming you want to avoid hospitals and paperwork,” you state, trying not to be overwhelmed by how good he smells even covered in blood and stress-sweating under his edgy leather outfit.

“That would be a correct assumption, yes,” he breathes, and you hate the way that even in this messy state his breath is warm and welcome drifting across your cheek.

“Can you use your evol to transport us to one of your safe houses?” You’ve never confirmed with him that he actually is routinely in enough danger to require a safe house, let alone multiple, but you’re not surprised when he murmurs “Too drained right now,” acknowledging their existence.

Ok. You have no other option. You aren't prepared to let him into your space, to have the memory of his overwhelming presence in the only safe place left to you since your grandmother’s house was destroyed. But if this is the price you must pay to finally be free of your debt, of him, you’ll pay it.

“Fine. My flat is a short walk from here. Let’s go.” He says nothing, but takes heavy steps with you as you slowly make your way across the clean and even sidewalk of your city block, so different from the cracked, weed ridden paths winding through the N109 zone, when one is lucky enough to have a sidewalk to walk on at all.

Sylus isn’t the only one sweating now, as you haul him into your flat’s elevator. You’re relieved that Xavier is out of town, on one of his secretive missions doing who knows what, so you there’s no chance you’ll be asked to explain the presence of this bleeding stranger leaving a mess all over the pristine elevator floor. You make a mental note to come back as quickly as possible to clean it up, after you’ve dealt with the more urgent, hulking issue draped across your shoulders.

Sylus isn’t even looking around, just leaning more and more heavily into your body. His head tipped toward yours, soft hair drifting along your cheek, nose buried in your neck. You tell yourself he's just breathing heavily because of the pain--he can't possibly be inhaling your scent. You resist the urge to sniff your own armpit to make sure you did, of course you did, put on deodorant this morning.

You hesitate for only a moment outside your door, but take a deep breath and open it, hauling him into your foyer where you try as gently as possible to lower him to the ground and catch your breath. He grunts as his ass hits the floor, and you wince. “Sorry,” you offer (why is it easy to say it for this, but not for the biggest reason looming between the two of you?).

“I’m going to knock a star off your rating when I write my review on the Hunter’s Association feedback form,” he sighs, gingerly leaning back on his hands, wincing, and then putting all his weight onto his uninjured arm, ridiculously long legs stretched in front of him. His blood drips onto your foyer floor now, and you are mesmerized by it for a moment. It really does match the color of his eyes, and you’ve never thought blood beautiful until this moment.

“I suppose I’ll have to live with the consequences,” you say, trying to shake your head to free yourself of these weird thoughts. You kneel at his feet, and try as efficiently as possible to remove the boots with the stupid chains around the heels from his giant feet. “You can bleed on my floor, but I draw the line at you keeping your shoes on. Lift.” You tap his other foot, and he lifts it minutely so you can drag it off. “I’m going to get my first aid kit. Don't go anywhere,” you can’t help but snark, knowing that he isn’t in any position to move. You make your way through your flat, trying not to look at it through a new perspective, hyper-aware that he’ll soon be taking it in, evaluating your space, making judgments, gathering intel that he’ll file away to try to exploit another day.

You resist the urge to grab discarded clothing along the way, to tidy the bathroom sink and wipe down the mirror. You’re busy as fuck, not home nearly enough to fully relax most days, and certainly do not possess the energy to clean up often. If he has a problem with it, he should have found somewhere else to bleed out. You’re sorry for the circumstances of your first meeting, but you’re not going to apologize for the way you manage to live your life. You snap the cabinet closed and head back to the foyer.

Only to find this big motherfucker sitting on your couch, his jacket folded neatly on the seat under his hand so he doesn’t bleed onto the fabric underneath. How thoughtful, you think, seething.

You stop in the doorway and level him with a look that you hope conveys the disgust coursing through you at the moment. “Too injured to walk unassisted, huh?”

“Your support on the way here was invaluable in allowing me to catch my breath so that I could make my own way into your… uniquely charming home,” he rasps in response, completely unapologetic. His eyes leisurely drift around your living room and kitchen area, taking in the old take-out containers on the island counter, the guns and ammo scattered on the couch’s side table, the plants spilling over every other available surface. He nudges a plushie that has made its way from the armchair next to the couch to the floor with his sock-covered foot, and it squeaks, startling you out of your irritation. You move to his side on the couch and sit next to him, sweeping the magazines about distant, peaceful travel destinations that you’ll likely never see from the coffee table to the floor to make room for the first aid kit.

“I can take it from here,” he offers, watching as you pull out medical pincers, gauze, and disinfectant. “I don’t want to give you nightmares.”

You scoff softly, batting away his hand reaching for the supplies. “Despite your best efforts, you’re not scary enough to compete with the nightmares I already have,” you say, grasping his wrist and gently lowering it to rest on his knee. As you carefully roll up the sleeve of his shirt to examine the first wound, you realize just how much you have just revealed, for free, in that statement. You suppress a wince, overly conscious of his bright eyes drifting from your face to his arm and back again.

In the corner of your eye, you see his jaw clench as you reveal the bullet hole gaping in the round meat of his deltoid underneath his ruined sleeve.

“Wanderer got you, huh?” You sigh. “Since when do wanderers wield .38 caliber pistols?”

“Humans have been known to wander, from time to time,” Sylus deadpans, utterly shameless, glancing pointedly at your scattered travel magazines.

“You should have been a lawyer instead of a crime lord,” you sniff, resigning yourself to the task ahead.

You do your best to be gentle, offering him something to sink his teeth into as you dig into both the bullet hole in his shoulder and the one in the side of his left pectoral, uncomfortably close to where your own bullet ripped through him not so long ago. You know what to do, because you’ve been on the other side of this predicament with Zayne more times than you can count, and Zayne is a good, patient teacher. Sylus is panting and uncharacteristically quiet, and you hate yourself for the insane image that intrudes into your thoughts as you imagine his teeth sinking into something else, as you have to pointedly ignore the unblemished expanse of his exposed torso that heaves with each breath, the softness of pale, sweat-slicked skin under your calloused fingertips.

Finally, the last bullet drops onto the pile of extra gauze on the coffee table with a muffled thunk, and Sylus hisses as you generously pour disinfectant over the hole you just dragged it out of.

“Who is the kitten now, hiss boy?” you tease, trying to distract him from how much pain this is obviously causing him.

“Hiss … boy?” he narrows his eyes. “I’m rather certain that in contrast to the normal company you keep, there is nothing ‘boyish’ about me,” he responds smoothly, unruffled. So much for trying to get a rise out of him.

“Opinions differ,” you retort, beginning to wrap bandages tightly around his chest. You try again. “Ironic, that you’ve suffered injury from your own merchandise, don’t you think? Has it made you reconsider your line of work?”

“How are you so sure that I was shot with one of the guns I sell? This could be the result of the use of a legally registered firearm issued to one of your colleagues,” he says, watching you carefully. Your hands pause. You sit, gazing at the bandages you’ve just wrapped around his big shoulder, his broad chest, these parts of him that despite all their strength, their ability to knit themselves back together, are still just fragile flesh and blood, easily flayed open by a speeding bullet or the slash of a blade. You realize in an uncomfortable moment of self-awareness that it doesn’t matter if he was shot by one of his underworld counterparts with a grudge, or by one of your own colleagues. You just don’t want him to be hurt at all.

You move your hands again, snipping the end of the bandage you’ve just finished wrapping around his chest and using butterfly pins to secure it with a decisive snap. “There. Now you can begin to heal properly.”

You say this with a finality that you hope he can hear. It is done. You’ve cared for him to the best of your ability, at a time he needed it, and you hope that with each careful touch you offered, he heard the message loud and clear that you were sorry for what had previously happened between you, that you now owe each other nothing. Life can return to normal. It won’t matter anymore that you don’t want him to be in pain, that you want to protect his body from harm. You won’t be seeing him again.

“Still too drained to heal myself,” he murmurs, leaning back on your couch and closing his eyes as if he owns the place.

“Sylus—” you start, because he can’t stay here. You can’t handle him here, the silken fall of his ivory hair in stark contrast to the deep maroon of your couch, his legs manspreading, taking up more than his fair share of the cushions, his breath, scent, presence threatening to overwhelm your sense of space and boundaries. He doesn’t belong here, in this modest little flat, amongst yesterday’s take-out cartons and the light from the street lamps outside filtering in through your unwashed windows to illuminate the regal line of his nose. It’s like having a jaguar in a petting zoo, and you need him to leave. Now.

“If you’re so impatient to be rid of me, then resonate with me. That will expedite things significantly,” he interrupts your growing panic, not bothering to open his eyes.

“Do you not remember last time? We were chained together, and we still don’t know what broke the connection.”

“Mmm, is that what happened?” he murmurs drowsily.

“Oh, having trouble recalling? You kindly offered to cut off my hand to speed up the process—does that jog your memory?” you snap, frustration building again at the memory.

“How are we sure that the link happened because we resonated? Maybe it was just a coincidence.”

“What?” You can’t believe your ears. It’s so obvious that the successful resonance caused the uncomfortable link that chained you together for an unbearable amount of time.

“Correlation is not causation,” he enunciates slowly, as if you’re hard of hearing. Which ok, you have permanent tinnitus due to the almost constant gunfire involved in your occupation, but still! “The only way to confirm your theory is to resonate with me again.”

“You are not going to goad me into resonating with you again, Sylus.” You take a deep breath, breathe it out again. A smirk drifts across his face, which incidentally has regained some of the color that was missing when you first found him. You’ve paid your debt. He needs to go. You move to stand, but his voice stops you.

“Did you know? I had to increase my credit limit because of your little shopping spree at the auction,” he says wistfully.

“What?” You turn to look at him again. His eyes, glittering like rubies, are open now, amusement written all over him.

“Does the Hunter’s Association offer a hearing package in their health insurance policy? You might want to get your hearing tested, Sweetie.”

“What do you mean you had to increase your credit limit because of me?” you demand, ignoring his jab and annoying nickname. “I don’t believe that for a second!”

“My, my, have we learned to be less gullible after the little handcuff and smoke pistol incident?” he drawls, clearly steadily feeling better. “I should give Kieran and Luke a raise for what they did; it was a fun little interlude for me, and they taught you the very valuable lesson of recognizing bullshit when you hear it. They’ve given me one less thing to worry about.”

All you can do is stare at him, frustrated with how tongue tied this man often leaves you. Finally, you manage: “There is too much to unpack there so I’m not even going to touch it. Are you trying to tell me that I owe you something?”

“Well,” he draws out the word, producing a coin from… somewhere? Up his sleeve? Like the true cartoon villain he is, he begins flipping it with the hand of his uninjured side. “Naturally I don’t have a credit limit, because everyone knows that I’m good for my debts. But you did put a … dent in my bank balance with your little spending escapade at the auction, and I think the scale between us is a little unevenly tipped, don’t you? I mean, an honorable, fiscally responsible Linkon citizen such as yourself should be able to recognize when they’ve run up a fortune on someone else’s tab, and would feel compelled to make things square. Right?”

You can’t believe this. Here you were, from the very beginning, doing your best to wipe the ledger clean, repay your debt, treat this motherfucker with kindness, thinking about how you wanted to protect him from pain and injury, and this stingy asshole is pointing out that you, while following his directions, spent more of his money than you manage to make in…. multiple years, in one night, and he expects to be repaid. He’s right, though. Unlike him, you are honorable. Unlike him, you are fair, and believe in justice, and your spiteful doubling of what he said you should offer on that first protocore… and subsequent purchase of the entire inventory… maybe was… childish.

You look up at your ceiling, hands hanging at your sides. You try to remember not to let this man get under your skin like he has done from the very moment he melodramatically swooped down from an absurdly ringing bell tower and re-materialized in a whoosh of ridiculous crow feathers, sauntering towards you as if you should know who the fuck he is and simper accordingly.

Still staring at the ceiling, you hear yourself ask, “What would make us square, Sylus?”

You’re met with silence, long enough that you give in and glance down into his satisfied face.

“Because I’m a generous man, I’ll give you a choice: resonate with me now, or…”

“Or?” You take the bait.

“Let me use your place as a safe house if something like this happens again. I’m embarrassed to admit that I don’t have one in this area, and I have a feeling I’ll be passing through more often now.”

“What? Why?”

“Which one will it be?” He smoothly ignores your questions, not even bothering to inquire about the state of your hearing. “Tick tock, I know you’re eager to be rid of me right now.”

Dimly, you’re aware, somewhere in the back of your mind, that Sylus can’t force you to make this choice at all. You don’t actually have to go along with him, be pulled into his slip stream as he moves who knows how many steps ahead of you towards a goal you can’t see. You know that this so-called lingering debt is a pretext, and that he doesn’t actually  want to balance the scales. He wants something else. You just can’t figure out what the fuck that something else is.

The more you interact with him, the more you have to begrudgingly admit that the little cat he sees when he looks at you might not be as far from the truth as you’d insist if ever asked. Your curiosity, your hyper-awareness of his every movement, every twitch of his lips and fingers and the labyrinthine twists of his sharp, sharp mind have you mesmerized like a cat in front of a drifting feather.

You can’t help it. You know that you can’t handle resonating with him right now. You recall all too vividly the feeling of his power coursing through your body, the hunger, the starvation, finally sated, and the subsequent addiction that had already begun to form from the first moment your respective evols locked into their feedback loop, enabling each other, intertwining until one was indistinguishable from the other. You could lose yourself in this man and never find your way back to yourself if you’re not careful.

So. The safest option here, in this bargain that Sylus is offering you in exchange for the debt you apparently (doubtfully) still owe: “You can use my place when you need it.”

You don’t think he realizes it, but you can see the way his shoulders relax, his big body melting deeper into your couch. His face is serious; for some reason, he’s resisting his impulse to insult you by letting the satisfied grin spread over his face. He just breathes deeply, once, and watches you through half-lidded eyes.

“Deal,” he huffs after the silence drags almost unbearably long, heavily hauling himself to his feet. “I’ll get out of your hair for now.” He slowly, carefully picks his way through articles of clothing on the floor to reach the foyer again.

“I’ll make a spare key for you when I get the chance,” you mutter, already regretting your decision. All you had to do was resonate with him one more time, thereby wildly reducing the chances of ever running into him again. Maybe you should have gone with that option, the idea of him showing up at your place unannounced fills you with too much dread (anticipation), and you open your mouth to let him know you’ve changed your mind—

“No need,” Sylus finally smiles, his sharp canines glinting under the automatic hall light. “I’ll be seeing you, Kitten,” he promises, and promptly vanishes in a cloud of stupid, fucking feathers. Feathers that you have to later pick out of the bloody mess he left in your foyer, on your hands and knees.

[shanastoryteller]

Happy Pride! Jim & Spock? Can be in the Sybokverse or on their own eitherway is perfect!

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5

“I believe I have the right to face my accuser.”

Jim is going to tear this asshole apart.

There’s muttering throughout the crowd, the auditorium filled to the brim for one cadet’s academic dishonesty disciplinary hearing. These are always open to be attended by the accused’s peers, but usually no one bothers, having far better things to do on a Friday morning. Jim is flattered, honestly.

Admiral Archer nods and everyone turns as one of the instructors stands and walks stiffly to the other podium.

Jim is honestly taken aback. A Vulcan giving him shit over this? He squints, trying to place him, suddenly sure he’s seen him somewhere before. Possibly just in the halls, but the familiarity feels deeper than that. He’s met a lot of Vulcans, to be fair.

“Cadet,” he greets.

“Defend the logic of your accusation,” he says, falling into familiar vernacular and only barely keeping himself from saying it in formal Vulcan. This guy might appreciate it, but Archer won’t, and Chris had told him not to be too much of an asshole.

The Vulcan raises an eyebrow. “The purpose of the test is to assess your response to no win scenarios. Altering the parameters, while admittedly an impressive feat of programming, shows both your lack of understanding and your casual disregard for the institution of Starfleet.”

“I don’t believe in no win scenarios,” he says confidently, flashing a smile to the assembled admirals that, in different circumstances, tends to get him laid.

He stiffens. “Your belief in them does not change their existence. In an impossible situation, you must react to the circumstances given to you. Anything else is entertaining delusions.”

“Bullshit,” Jim says immediately and sees Chris pinch the bridge of his nose. Oops. This is a perfect time to go into the speech that he has prepared, about how if he was actually trying to cheat he would have been more subtle about it, about how cheating was his answer to the question presented by the test, and how that applies to how he would really react as a captain.

But then the Vulcan gives him the bitchiest look he’s seen in – well, about four days, but he’s suddenly so sure where he knows him from.

~

Spock doesn’t understand how someone with so little regard for both etiquette and moral standards has survived this long in the academy. He’s intimately familiar with the doors that having a famous father can open, but surely there must be limits.

James Kirk opens his mouth, presumably to continue his insulting and inappropriate defense of his actions, then his eyes narrow, widen, and he demands, “Spock? S'Chn T'Gai Spock? Son of Amanda Grayson and S'Chn T'Gai Sarek?”

For a moment, all he can do is stare. “Have we met?”

His syntax when first faced with him had made him think that James Kirk was familiar with Vulcan, as unlikely as that seemed, but now he’s sure. Not only because of the correct pronunciation of his family name, but in how he has addressed him. Vulcan society is matriarchal. It is correct to identify him first as his mother’s son, and also appropriate to leave off his father’s title as ambassador when identifying his family origin, as his father’s position is supposed to be secondary to his mother’s. His mother married into his father’s clan, but that doesn’t change formal conventions.

Even on Vulcan, he is rarely identified correctly.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” James Kirk says, then takes out his communicator and starts typing.

What.

“Cadet Kirk!” Admiral Archer barks. “Put that away and comport yourself as your position demands or we’ll be here for more than accusations of your cheating.”

“Apologies, Admiral,” James Kirk says, placing his hands behind his back and looking like he’s taking this seriously for the first time. “If you’ll just allow a couple minutes-”

Spock’s communicator goes off.

“Commander,” Admiral Archer says warningly.

“One moment, please,” he says, his stomach rolling as he takes out the communicator. He’s hoping that this is another of James Kirk’s tricks, because when he’s placed it on silent only his family can contact him, and his mother marks all of her correspondence as non urgent. There is no good reason for his father to contact him.

He opens it up and blinks twice, to be certain of what he’s seeing.

Sybok has sent him a text base message. His elder brother never sends him text based communication, as he believes that Spock will not respond timely or authentically, and so only video calls him. Usually at inopportune times.

stop being mean to jimmy :(

He is a genius. Several things suddenly make sense all at once.

He is of course aware of his older brother’s dear friend who he only refers to as Jimmy. In the tragedy of Tarsus IV, when all should have been lost and the corrupt governor threatened to kill half the colony and did kill a not insignificant amount of them, it was Jimmy and Sybok who worked together to create a sort of resistance and keep people alive long enough to for their jury-rigged signal to make it through.

Receiving that strange message from Sybok after years of silence had let him, and their father, know that something was wrong and alert Starfleet.

Jimmy, who had been a minor at the time, and so his identity had been kept from the public at his request, and who had visited Sybok on Vulcan but Spock had examinations at the time and had not been permitted to travel across planet to meet him.

James Kirk looks at him, a smile hovering around the corners of his lips.

James Kirk. Colloquially known as Jim. Jimmy.

Spock had designed the Kobayashi Maru with his brother’s experience at Tarsus IV in mind. He had been different after, just as prone to arguing with their father, more prone to arguing with everyone else, but he’d been sturdier too. As if that experience had at once confirmed and destroyed all of his worst expectations of people.

James Kirk does not believe in no win scenarios and he has demonstrated that more aptly than any simulation could.

“I rescind my accusation of academic dishonesty towards Cadet Kirk.”