#but if the hellsite demands it then i will deliver

[wilwheaton]

hey I just noticed in the past few months you have a lot of tags where you used to not tag much at all, I thought I'd mention since I'm not sure if you were doing it on purpose :P

I changed a setting somewhere, so previous tags would be preserved in reblogs. Maybe that's it? I think my tumblr thingy is like 98% reblogs.

[shawtythatluvsurgut]

(If you’re a minor: go finish your english assignment, stop being thirsty, and get off this page.)

Welcome to my blog!

Introduction

I’m a dominant feeder from the United States. I’m a chef and I love to cook! Something that I love even more than cooking is feeding and fattening up feedees. I also love cats, nature, and art. I have an Onlyfans, so subscribe to see some spicy content 😈

Note:

Shitty behavior does NOT and will NOT fly here. That includes (but is not limited to): fatphobia, pedophilic behavior, promotion of violence, threats against myself or others, intimidation tactics, misogyny, lying/manipulating, ignoring the feelings of others, homophobia or any other type of bigotry, or attacking the feelings of others. I also will never share nudes with a soul on here because - let’s be real - a lot of mfs on this hellsite are not great people and I’m not down with that. Don’t bring that bullshit here. Don’t ask me to send you nudes. I will say no.

I will stand up for myself and others who I believe I should defend. If you don’t like that, you’re gonna hate it here so you might as well leave. I only want authentic, genuine, honest, good people following this blog. If that’s not you, don’t waste your time because I will see that and I will leave you on delivered. Don’t be rude or pushy; demanding or demeaning in my dms because that’s a great way to get ✨ blocked ✨

I also will not follow you back if you are a blank blog. No hate because I know some of them are not catfish accounts or scammers, but I still don’t trust blank tumblr blogs.

Okay, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, here’s what you should know about me:

I’m a FFA and I have been for my entire life (The Santa Clause weight gain scene was my awakening and will forever hold a special place in my heart)

I am a feeder who has a feedee irl

I live in AZ

I’m an athlete and have been my whole life (collegiate level track sprinter)

I am bisexual. I like both men and women, but I lean more towards femininity

cats are the cutest animal on the planet

cats are also every other positive adjective you could use to describe a cat

I love my homies (this definitely includes internet-homies of mine) and I will defend them if I feel it necessary

I’m mad short and I’m mad about it. (Five foot three like are you fucking playing with me?! Give me a few more inches at least!!!)

I’m mad strong and can beat you up

I am an artist. My styles are realism, surrealism, and modern. I paint, draw, and write (though, it’s usually sexual fiction that I have kept to myself)

This blog is KINKY AS FUCK. I have a FAT FETISH. If you don’t like that, then leave because I literally did not ask! Here are things I am NOT into. I draw a hard line at these things:

• I am a dom through and through. Don’t send me asks implying otherwise because that makes me uncomfortable.

• ^^^ NO pet names or possessive language (ie: “my princess” or “my piggy”) (I don’t belong to any of you)

• NO age play

• NO rape/sa/abuse fantasies or you will be BLOCKED

• I want to reiterate: NO FATPHOBIA!!! I WILL COME FOR YOUR THROAT!!!!

• I’m not turned on by burps or farts, and especially not unsolicited nudes so please keep that stuff to yourself

• I’m not mean. I swear. I just know how I should be and deserve to be treated. I don’t tolerate bullshit because I don’t have the patience, nor is it my responsibility to teach anyone the basics of respect. Your lesson if you choose to cross my boundaries will be getting blocked by me, and I will simply continue on with my life.

• NO vore

• Not really into the expansion kink

• NO diaper, loli, or little kinks

• Do NOT message me if you are 40+ (because I’m too young for that)

• NO age play

• NO bossxemployee or teacherxstudent power dynamics

• NO death feedism (I stress this one because I want y’all to at least try to be a bit mindful of what you’re consuming large amounts of. I don’t want y’all dying on me)

I AM into:

• feedism

• feedism-related art/writing

• weight gain denial

• force feeding

• Shibari (bondage)

• femboys

• thicc/fat women and men

• submission (to me hehe)

• WEIGHT GAIN!!!!

• belly kink

If you are curious about whether or not I’m into anything not listed here, feel free to ask.

My social media handles are:

Instagram @feedernico

Tumblr @shawtythatluvsurgut

If you follow/message me on there, the same guidelines apply. Don’t try anything malicious over there because you will get exposed and blocked. Please message me on here before/when you request to follow so that I can accept it. If I change my handles at any time or get a new social media, I will update you guys here.

I use the hashtags #ffa #female feeder #fit female feeder and #it me on posts I make of myself. I also watermark every picture of me because I’m not about to deal with catfishing. I don’t fuck with that shady behavior, or any shady behavior. Don’t try to manipulate me because I can see past it. Don’t lie to me because I can see right through it.

Now that all is said and done…

Have fun and keep eating! 😈 I love and appreciate all of my respectful followers and I hope you all have a beautiful life!

[mitale]

Actually can someone explain to me like I'm five why Tumblr needs more money? I read somewhere like 'that's just how tech companies work' but like they made $84M in revenue last year you can't tell me it costs that much to feed clothe and house...

actually does the math

Actually yeah that's only less than $3k a month per employee so it could actually cost them that much to keep those people happy and healthy. Is @staff okay? They are all being paid fairly right? Unionized and everything? Let a unionized Tumblr and a unionized Discord be the place where we talk shop on how to do community building, unionizing our work places, and generally being kind to each other while demanding fair wage for our labor. Or just get rid of money altogether and treat stores like storehouses for anyone who wants them, I'm cool with that too. Let's start being the change we want to see in the world. Tumblr managers (both managers that use Tumblr and the managers of said company) can start with by just treating their workers less like cogs in a machine and more like people who do the work that we would like done. Remember that you're the replaceable ones. You need our labor to do anything. Are you actually helping the store or company you work for to help the community and it's people, or are you just funneling money upwards? I'm sorry Mr CEO idk who you are but if you're cool and you actually use and like Tumblr then actually start listening to us and your employees when we talk about how we want the site to be. Stop listening to the shareholders, that's a thing you can do. Maybe not legally but fuck the police. Opened

Pretend they don't exist. Step down as just simply community leader if your fellow workers agree that you can stay idk. Or the people who actually make the website run could listen to us instead. The people who actually work at the grocery stores and Walmarts and other goods warehouses could just start treating them as public warehouses and stop charging money. The people who actually live in the houses could just not pay rent. Property taxes be damned. The people who entertain us and the people who deliver things to us are already unionizing, do you think we'll stop there once we see how good it is? Fuck it. Use literal polls to have the userbase be a literal democracy. Have a hashtag devoted to ideas for what's the next monthly topic, that then literally every Tumblr user can opt in to alerts to discuss and vote on their phone. We would love to feed and clothe and generally make happy the workers who actually make this hellsite run I would imagine, or else we wouldn't be using it. I'm just one person ofc, so I can't just unilaterally decide what the workers and Tumblr users would want, but I'm sure they do. So let's ask them. And then let's give it to them.

[limeinaltime]

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!! With new switcheroo thingie rambles! :D

THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS! I (switchie) AM BACK! And this time, with new rambles! I told you I had a lot of ideas for this au and I'm gonna deliver!

Okay, that's the good news out of the way. The bad news is that my rambles won't be so...daily. I'll still make them, sometimes a day after I made another, but there will also be others where I make one a few days after I made the previous. I'm also not making one on Christmas because...it's Christmas.

But enough about all that, time to go into the rambling! This time with R, because I just focused on X this entire time and didn't really focus on R, though she was a titular character. So I'm gonna devote this ramble to her! Let's do this!

Also for the sake of the timeline the Fateful Day happens five months after they arrive so...yeah

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It all starts just after R finishes beating the shit out of X, and X asking her why she didn't kill her.

...R hates her. She really hates her. If it were up to her, she would get her incinerated, but...

but.

If she killed X...if she ended her, then they would just bring her back. More than that is if they did...

She was afraid that they'd would do the same thing to X that they did to her.

...

She hates X. She really does. But what they did to her, forced to do test after test, have hellsite after hellsite shoved into her head, filling her head with noise that she couldn't bear...

...X didn't deserve that. Even if R hated her with all her artificial heart and being...she didn't deserve that.

No one deserves that.

A month passes, and R wakes up first. Sometimes she goes hunting, if only to feel the slightest bit better.

She doesn't.

Most of the time, she just takes her anger on nearby buildings and rubble, all the while screaming at and cursing every single thing that has ever wronged her. X. That insufferable bitch named J. The company.

Herself.

...She can sometimes see X in the shadows. Just watching her. She decides to confront her on this and learns that she checks up on her through the day. R's pissed obviously, but (unfortunately) sees where she's coming from.

That doesn't stop R from beating the shit out of her for thirty minutes straight and telling her to keep farther distance.

She doesn't see X the next day.

...

A few disassembly drones wander in their territory three months after they arrive. X and S are out hunting, leaving R alone.

When she sees the disassembly drones, R confronts them, demanding them to get the hell out of their territory. One word leads to another, which leads to insults being thrown around, which escalate to threats, and eventually...

R decides to get rid of them another way.

And she does, their corpses mutilated. She learned that she could kill these things. She thought she would feel happy about this revelation. But...

She thought she would feel something else too. Anything else, really. She thought she'd feel in control. That since she could kill them, she could make them suffer instead of other way around. She thought she'd feel cathartic to make the thing that made her life hell simply by existing feel a margin of what she went through. She thought she'd feel powerful. She thought she would feel better.

She thought she would feel strong.

...

She feels sick.

She wants to throw up.

Why does she feel like she wants to throw up

WHY DOES SHE FEEL SCARED

She then stares at her hands, the oil still fresh from the...bodies.

Then, after about an hour of silence, there, in the snow, staring at her bloodied hands, with a now shocked expression, realizes what she's been doing this whole time.

Taking her anger out on everything.

Abusing X.

Treating her like shit, even though she doesn't deserve it.

Killing Blaming the disassembly drones for everything, even though they didn't even do anything wrong.

R then realizes something far more important.

They're younger than them.

They're teenagers

They're kids.

She killed fucking children.

R then asks herself, after realizing what she had just done, one thought ran through her head.

I'm a monster.

After everything, after all the realizations and revelations, and for the first time in a long time, she collapsed on the snowy ground and curled into herself.

And she cried. For hours on end, she cried. For her. For X. For the children she just killed. For everyone she ever wronged.

When she was done, she laid on the ground for a few moments, before getting up, her anger now gone, replaced with a deep sorrow.

She decided to bury the bodies. It was the least she could do.

It was the most their bodies deserved.

X and S returned an hour later, and were...confused at R's change in demeanor.

She'd be lying if she said she wasn't either.

Four months after they arrived, R's still the first to hunt, but more out of necessity rather than out of anger.

She doesn't want to go back.

She doesn't abuse X anymore, instead opting for the cold shoulder.

She still ignores S most of the time, but she thinks that's for the best.

X still checks up on her, she knows when she does, and puts up an act whenever she does.

And when she's alone, truly alone, she just...stares into the sky, with a blank and somber look on her face, wondering if things could have been different. If she could have been different.

But they aren't. And she isn't. And she has to live with it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And that concludes my first ramble being back! The next one will be after Christmas and will focus on THE INCIDENT. Till then!

- - - -

Switch Anon: *posts new R/X Swap Saga content about R having a morality crisis*

Me: YEAAAAH BABY THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT

Homegirl isn’t feeling so good about killing children anymore.

(Also while you were gone, R has been given a canon “redemption” arc of sorts)

[myowndesertplaces]

Hey remember when Biden stopped Line 3 from taking many coal plants worth of pollution through indigenous people’s land where it is likely to ruin their food supplies when it inevitably leaks? Because I definitely don’t

First, in no way should people interpret my reply to that joke as a defense of Biden in every executive decision he has and will make. I said that we have a long way to go to meet the social justice and environmental promises he and other Democrats made.

Second, I hope you continue to fight against Line 3, and I'm pissed it passed. My father grew on a farm in Boy River, MN, and we have close family friends that grew up on the Leech Lake reservation. My family financially supported the fight against it. I'm mad that we continue to run pipelines through indigenous peoples' lands. It's just another way to harm people we have oppressed for hundreds of years, and it does nothing to prevent climate change.

I chose to reply to that joke because I had spent most of the day catching up on political news, and was frustrated by the overall narrative that Biden has been ineffective on all his campaign promises, which isn't entirely true. There have been good things despite centrists and Republicans halting legislation. There have also been some shitty things, and a lack of progress on some very important campaign promises (student loan forgiveness) that could be completed with executive decisions.

Anon, please continue to demand more from your elected officials. Fight for what you believe is right, and vote for who you think can deliver that change. Stay engaged. Part of what was frustrating for me was the lack of political awareness of the people reblogging that joke, and just believing the media narrative that nothing has changed. If it wasn't such a widespread belief, it would not have had 15,000 notes. Speaking of a lack of awareness, after 2000 more notes and 20 anon messages, no one has seemed to notice that I made a mistake in that post: I didnt say that the Build Back bill still has to pass the Senate as of today.

You may be more politically aware than most on this hellsite, Anon. But that original poster doesn't give two shits about politics, as shown by their confusion as to why people were having political discussions in their replies, and has since changed the source post to a Yaoi meme. I dont think you have to worry too much about defending that joke.

[meshkol]

Twitter Threads (or That One Time Tony Dialled It Up to Eleven)

Summary: Social media is hard and full of trolls, and Tony has poor impulse control.

Notes: I hate this so much. Less cracky than I wanted it, because I suck at writing humour. Fill K-3 for the Tony Stark Bingo 2019: Gossip Press. Unbeta'd as per usual. Any relation to existing twitter handles is entirely coincidental.

Warnings: Social Media, Twitter, Homophobic Language, Sexist Language, Ableist Language, Internet, Trolls, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Goes On A Rampage

No one can say that Tony’s ever had good impulse control, especially about people he loves.

@1234ideclareathumbwar posted: I donno what it is about dr strange but he must suck dick like a pro if hes got iron man whipped god knows theres nothing attractive about him except those dick suckin lips #drstrange #ironman #wtfisstarkthinking

 @100percentDONE-xxx replied: yeah its not like he can give a decent handjob ffs must me the lips or maybe hes just tight every1 knows stark loves a tight whole hes prolly cheating neway poor cripple

 @itsawrapandimreadytoparty replied: Probably just lays there and thinks about the wizard gods just to get that $$$...I’d think of England even for a nymphomaniac drug-addicted sugar daddy too, tbh.

 @BlessYouThor-ness replied: still can’t believe he chose strange over THOR like everyone can see the chemistry between them and tony is such a bottom he’d take thor’s cock so well fuck yes

 @they-did-the-thing777 replied: is it just me or does strange look like an alien maybe there’s no magic at all just aliens and he’s got a tentacle dick and stark just wants to mark off another box on his worlds-biggest-slut checklist #tonystarkispathetic

 @snowflakes_makeme_lol replied: hes just fkn ugly i s2g stark id spread 4 but strange??? that bitch be ugly asf n not worth gettin my dk wet prolly get aids

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: You guys are the pinnacle of our evolution and I am in awe of your genuine kindness and polite generosity (and grammar). Wow, I can’t believe Stephen Strange saved all of your jerkass lives TWICE for this shit and you know what? Everyone knows I’M the cocksucker in this relationship, dumbfucks.

 @kiki_blow_this_popsicle_stand replied: HOLY SHIT LMAO

“What are you doing?”

He doesn’t bother looking up from his tablet, backing away from that thread because he has no interest in seeing the replies, and hunting for the next war he can wage. “Destressing,” he replies gleefully, clicking on a thread that mentions Pepper. He can feel Rhodey behind him – and, what’s more, he can feel the disapproval seeping out of his pores too now that he’s peeking over Tony’s shoulder – but he’s on a roll, and fuck impulse control when he can sass and bitch on twitter. Some people just need to be removed from the genetic pool of the human race and not be allowed to procreate, honestly.

Somewhere in bumbfuck-nowhere, Fury is having a coronary and Stephen is rolling his eyes so hard they’re permanently lodged in his cranium.

@rudethatyoureallamatwink posted: Does anyone else think that Pepper Potts only got the job at Stark because she’s got awesome legs and a great twat and Tony Stark wanted to stick his dick in? #idfuckher #pepperpotts #starkindustries #idfuckhimtootbh #tonystark

 @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself replied: lol ur gross shes like 35 or smth but wvr u want crusty ol lose pussy u do u bro #oldchickgross #getbotox

 @shredderinmymetal3-14 replied: @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself lmao wtf?? He started fucking her when she was like twenty or something so she was still nice and tight back then. I mean I’d still fuck her right now cause she’s one hot cougar and I bet she’s learned a thing or two from the Slut Extraordinaire. And anyway, how tf do you know what her cunt’s like?? The only hole you’ve fucked is your mom.

 @queeen-bee-says-hi replied: Wow, you guys are pigs. Pepper Potts is a strong, independent, beautiful woman who is worth a thousand of all you, and your mothers would be ashamed of you all.

 @gags_are_the_best_fight_me_bitch replied: @queeen-bee-says-hi hey look theres the feminazi if you want i can replace that stick up your pussy with my dick you know you need it ill fuck you real good show you what a real mans like

 @truthisanillusion replied: I’ll fuck @queeen-bee-says-hi AND @OfficialPotts_CEO at the same time fucking feminazi cunts, god knows you bitches would be grateful for my prick in your gaping lesbian pussies

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Wow. So. Uh.

1. That’s revolting and my AI just delivered the IPs of @gags_are_the_best_fight_me and @truthisanillusion to the authorities for premeditated violence, rape, and hate crimes. You’re welcome, and feel free to send a cash donation to the charity of your choice for my thoughtfulness. I’d recommend something for women’s or LGBTQ+ rights, and I’ll match it with a multiplier of 1000x.

2. @queeen-bee-says-hi, good for you, and I can see from your profile that you’re a student. Consider your crops watered and your schooling paid for, all the way to your twelfth PhD if you want it.

3. @OfficialPotts_CEO can and will murder you with her pinky nail. I’ve taken on Thanos and I’d rather go ten rounds with him than piss her off. THAT’S why she’s CEO, not because of her admittedly awesome legs.

4. I hate this hellsite. If I buy it, can I kill it?? Rhodey says “technically” so I’m gonna look into that now.

 @i_stan_one_legend_named_virginia_p_potts replied: IRON MANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! DEFEND THE QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!! #PEPPERPOTTS4PRESIDENT

 @iaminlovewithcapandimunashamed replied: lmfao incels be fkd when #ironman comes to town

 @truthisanillusion replied: Hey @YouKnowWhoIAm No one trusts you or likes you, you fake ass super “hero” taking it up the ass like a faggot stfu and die already, kthxbye

 @queeen-bee-says-hi replied: whAT OH MY GOD THAT IS NOT NECESSARY

 @OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Tony, stop picking fights and threatening to buy twitter or I’ll ground you. And just accept the gift, @queeen-bee-says-hi - after all, he’s already done it.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Shut up Pepper, you aren’t the boss of me.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: And jokes on you @truthisanillusion because I’m already dead inside come at me bitch I’ll be the one in the multi-billion-dollar suit of armor surrounded by Avengers

 @OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Actually, I am. Don’t make me take away your toys. Or call @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel. He’s on speed-dial, sweetheart, and he likes me better than you.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Rude.

 @Sorcerer_Surpreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: The last time you threatened someone, your house got blown up. Please refrain from egging on internet trolls or I’ll dump you for Rhodes for my own sanity.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: ALSO RUDE.

“You know, I’m not even remotely bi-curious and I would totally tap that,” Rhodey says absently, though his lips are quirking into a smirk.

Tony rolls his eyes. “Hands off, you little shit, or I’ll tweet about that one time in MIT when you ate that—”

“Fuck you.”

“Been there, done that,” Tony quips cheerfully. “Not remotely bi-curious my ass—”

“You know what’s better than picking fights with twelve-year-olds on twitter? Kicking your ass right here. You come at me, Stank.”

Tony opens his mouth to reply but then gasps, already losing himself in another thread after sending a middle finger emoji into the last one.

@mwahahaha-666 posted: You guys can wax poetry about Tony Stark all you want, but screw that basic-ass rich boy - everyone knows Doctor Strange is the smokin’ hot one. #takemenow #mybodyisready #drstrange

 @ukulele_jedi_master replied: PREACH!!! stark may be loaded but stephen is the one that looks like a prada model giMME THAT MAGICAL DICK

 @xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: Fuck both of you. I just wanna be a fly on the wall when they’re fucking each other...or better yet, DIRECT them on how to ruin each other #ironstrange #otp

 @highpercentageofuselessnessachieved replied: i wonder if he can clone himself like can u imagine?? being fucked from all ends by #drstrange cock?? what i wouldn’t give to be tony stark omfg i don’t even want the money just the hard dickin from that fine piece of ass

 @its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: He’s got Iron Man wrapped around his little finger so he must have the biggest dick and the know-how to use it properly. Yes pls and thank you very much, I’ll take that monster dick pronto.

 @TGBYHN_4_LYFE replied: dude i tell u what i would do what @xxx-foreverfit-xxx said: sit in the corner w a ridign crop in 9’’ stilettos rubbin myself while directing them 2 do what i want...make em touch n stroke n suck n bite n fuck each other til they cant walk anymore n then cuddle w them n stroke their hair

 @catcatcatcat-cat replied: I would give my college education, my life, my cow, and my internet access away for the rest of my life for a sex tape

 @xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: @TGBYHN_4_LYFE omfg fuCK YES CAN YOU IMAGINE listening to them moan as they lost themselves in each oter, so fucking desperate to get off that they’re begging you to let them cum even as they try their hardest to obey, covered in precum and sweat and hot as fuck

 @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: I s2g the amount of fanfiction I write about those two alone should have me committed but I literally can’t stop the two of them are so fucking hot together that it should be illegal god bless Iron Man and Dr Strange and their sexy, sexy chemistry and sexy, sexy bodies #killme

 @one-upon-a-time-in-asgard2 replied: They are the hottest couple in the history of the universe and so fucking pure I love them both so much also @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 I demand a link to your fics cuz I’m always looking for more ironstrange porn #otp #ironstrange

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel Hey, they think you have a big dick. Little do they know that they’re totally right and that you also have the added bonus of actually BEING a big dick too! #dontthreatentoleavemeforplatypus #orilltagyouinthirstposts #awesomethirstposts #stephenhasabigdick #andiloveit #goodshit

 @mwahahaha-666 replied: OH MY DUCKING GOD

 @its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: Well, I’d be mortified that Tony Stark is replying to this except Tony Stark is acTUALLY REPLYING TO THIS BLESS YOU IRON MAN

 @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: One of these days I’m going to murder you with your own bravado and not lose a night’s sleep over it. And fine, I won’t touch Rhodes...I’m sure Rogers is free anyway, and he’s always so polite when I visit.

 @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: Please don’t read my fanfiction I will literally combust in embarrassment also I am dying over here in Copenhagen omfg

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: BRO CODE, DUDE. YOU’RE VIOLATING THE BRO CODE. I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND I WANT A DIVORCE.

 @catcatcatcat-cat replied: ...oh my god what does that mean you guys are MARRIED??!?! BLESS THE WIZARD GODS!!!!

 @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: Rhodes, I know you’re reading over his shoulder, so if you could please take away his phone now before he ends up on the cover of the Times...or breaks the internet. Again. Thank you in advance.

Tony reacts immediately, trying to make a break for it, but Rhodey’s already tackling him into the couch, a hundred and ninety pounds of lean muscle and pretty Class As. Tony hisses breathlessly, the wind knocked out of him, and he struggles valiantly to keep his hands on his tablet while Rhodey does his best to rip it away. He doesn’t have a very good position so he makes a hair-brained, split-second decision to throw his body weight to the side, making them both roll off the couch. Rhodey’s a jerk though, and manages to react fast enough so that Tony takes the brunt of the impact, and he can’t even help but groan in a mixture of mild pain and disappointment as he feels the tablet being removed from his lax fingers.

“Sucks to be you, Stank,” he says breathlessly, fingers flying over the keyboard, and Tony cranes his neck until he can read Rhodey’s reply (and on Tony’s fucking account what in the hell!):

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: I think I broke your hot mess of a husband, Stephen. Come collect him before he murders me with his eyes or gets his hands on another electronic device. We’re in the lab.

Three seconds later, Stephen walks through a portal, looking oh-so-fucking-gorgeous in his battle robes, and wearing a scowl of irritation that bodes well for rough, mock-angry sex in the near future.

Tony grins unapologetically, and abandons the lure of social media in exchange for his pseudo husband.

It’s an easy choice.

Also read on ao3.

Feel free to prompt me things on my Bingo Card!

[phati-sari]

Another day, another Wattpad user demanding RISHTAA updates and then telling me that *I’m rude* because I got upset that they were asking for updates on a post that clearly stated the story is on hiatus because I’m sick.

My favourite part? 

“Nd u could reply to my msg saying that it will take tym...I'm not well....”

Yeah, because an announcement in RISHTAA (which she’s commenting on, by the way), another announcement to all my followers, and a third announcement on the first teaser for CHARADE isn’t enough. I apparently need to explain myself to this person all special-like.

I haaaattteeee Wattpad with the passion of a thousand suns. Remind me again why my stories are on that hellsite?

(I may or may not have said this person has the reading comprehension skills of an insect. If you’re gonna call me rude, I will deliver on the rude.)