#but if not and they have a relative with a uterus who would be willing to that’s fine too

[octahyde]

everyone saying they’d never want to give birth to one and I’m just remembering I literally cannot because I don’t have a uterus anymore :)

[thedemises]

note!... reader is implied to have an androgynous appearance! sanji hcs when reader is on their period!!! (could be for @ringdabel cuz they're on their period rn but it could be for anyone who's fighting demons rn <3).

━━ .  JUST RELAX。sanji bulleted hcs!!

you're not too sure what had just happened but you aren't complaining in the slightest.

one moment, you're fighting demons (the pain from your period) inside your room on the thousand sunny—the next sanji, who was walking by after serving the girls, enters to check up on you as he looks at you for a moment and then asks with hint of concern in his tone: “[name]-san, do you have a uterus?”

for a second—you were baffled, to say the least. who just comes up to someone and asks that question so randomly? but to consider how your appearance is rather androgynous and your voice can't be heard as either male or female (making anyone not guess your gender), without asking things any further, you nod and say that—yes, you do. but why?

the last thing you knew is that sanji walks away for a few minutes and comes back with a delicious chocolate desert, a heating pad (you assume he must've asked nami or robin), some water, and other stuff that would help you during your period.

you were surprised, but also not, that the cook would do something so generously to assist in your pain but you had to accept it nonetheless. you've only known him a few months since you've joined the crew.

he even offered to massage any parts of your body to help soothe the pain, which really did help and make you relax more easily without feeling pain in every position you take.

for the past few days, sanji has been the greatest help throughout the week of your period.

assisting in things you should've done yourself, running any errands for you when the crew has docked at a new island when you can't (even if you can, he'll still do it for you like a gentleman <3), serving you like he always does with chocolate-themed food, fruits, tea (ginger, peppermint, chamomile, cinnamon, red raspberry leaf tea), and etc. that could make you feel better.

you couldn't thank him any more for his assistance, though while you did wonder how he knew all this—you assumed he asked the girls for help or even had experience of this happening, probably with any female relatives or so.

after the week of your period ends, you decide to thank him for all his help by making him his favorite food on an early morning.

when he entered the kitchen to check on what was going on (he thought it was luffy again, trying to get food from the fridge again + with ussop's help), he was incredibly thankful even when he tells you that you shouldn't have.

(just tell him to take it and accept it- he just can't believe that you would do all this to thank him for helping you through your pain <3).

© thedemises 2024. all rights reserved.  ━━  probably not my best work but not the worst either.

^^^ my love for anybody willing to accept (or not) <;3333

[grellsaw]

Finally rewatched S1 for Grell and OH BOY did I really miss much in terms of her character!!

A woman dressed all in red exacting vengeance upon other women who dare to hve something madam red could not? Of course Grell would follow her. After all, it meant collecting more souls, and she knew they would all die at her hands or Red’s. So it’s a technical loophole within the reaper’s code of soul collection—that Grell technically isn’t breaking any rules if Red killed the women first, then she or Grell carved out the dead’s uterus. Or so Grell thought. And besides, Grell must’ve pitied Red for having her uterus and child removed in order to spare her life from the horrible carriage incident. And since Grell does not have a uterus herself, she can relate with Madam Red, even developed some respect for her dedication to carry out these murders as if Red decided who gets to live or die, just like reapers do.

And as Grell kills Red out of sheer disappointment, saying to her, “ what use do I have for you if you’re just another woman” and she says this with such bitter resentment towards Red. Meaning that there was more than her feeling sympathy for Red’s cause & falling in love with her. She’s insulting Red’s sudden change of heart for Ciel, insinuating she’s weak-willed. Soft-hearted. Grell only followed Madam Red’s orders because she thought of Red as a pragmatic leader.

And then Grell turns to leave. She wouldn’t kill Ciel and Sebastian because of “professional courtesy”, meaning that she planned on returning to her reaper duties after all the fun ended with Madam Red’s death. Truly, Grell thought of this little detour from her duties as a successful way to vent out her frustrations toward biological women having what Grell does not. And if it means conspiring with a mortal, acting as an accomplice to her killing spree and Grell putting her own job in jeopardy, then she’ll do her best to see that Madam Red truly paints the town in beautiful streaks of crimson.

Update: oof William listing all those regulations Grell broke, he’s relentless. Here’s what they are:

Killed people not on the “to die” list (the protstitutes)

Used a death scythe with modifications that were not authorized (rip her chainsaw)

Offered strictly classified information regarding the identity of his relatives’ murderer (nearly confessing to Ciel who killed his parents)

Also when Sebastian threw her death scythe at william &. catching her death scythe with two fingers is pretty epic.

And I’m pretty sure this is where Grell is hereby suspended for a duration. William must’ve had to convince the board members to prevent Grell from losing her position, or the reapers are surprisingly lenient when one of their own decides to help a mortal carry out multiple murders.

[douxlen]

IVF Changed America. But Its Future Is Under Threat

New Post has been published on https://douxle.com/2024/08/10/ivf-changed-america-but-its-future-is-under-threat/

IVF Changed America. But Its Future Is Under Threat

In February, a horrified Elizabeth Carr scrolled through headline after headline about a pause on in vitro fertilization (IVF) procedures in Alabama. The Alabama Supreme Court had ruled that frozen embryos have the legal rights of children, a decision that meant fertility providers could feasibly face prosecution if they destroyed one. Rather than take that risk, some fertility clinics halted IVF services entirely.

Carr, who in 1981 became the first baby in the U.S. born using IVF, felt like “an endangered species.” When Carr was born, IVF—a process of fertilizing eggs outside a woman’s body, then implanting a resulting embryo in her uterus—was new and largely unknown. Carr’s parents, who desperately wanted children but struggled to have them naturally, were willing to face public scrutiny and repeatedly travel from their home in Massachusetts to a pioneering clinic in Virginia to try the cutting-edge procedure. IVF’s success for the Carrs led not only to their daughter’s historic birth, but also compelled Elizabeth to become an advocate for reproductive rights when she grew up. Over those recent days in February, when patients in Alabama were shut out of fertility clinics, Carr acutely felt the importance of her work. Moments like those, she says, are “why we advocate so loudly.”

After public outcry and bipartisan pushback, Alabama lawmakers quickly passed protections for IVF providers, and services resumed. But IVF is still under attack.

Despite the backlash, judges in Alabama declined to reconsider their controversial ruling. And more than a dozen other U.S. states have laws in place that could be interpreted as bestowing personhood rights on an embryo, even if it has not yet resulted in a pregnancy. Courts in other states haven’t yet applied these laws in ways that directly threaten IVF—although Louisiana law forces fertility providers to ship embryos out of state for destruction—but the possibility is there if the wrong case comes before the wrong judge, says Rebecca Reingold, an associate director at the O’Neill Institute for National and Global Health Law at the Georgetown University Law Center.

Right now, it is politically unpopular to attack IVF, a technology that has given life to millions of people and hope to some of the one in six adults worldwide with infertility. Only 8% of U.S. adults actively oppose access to IVF, according to recent polling, and even lawmakers from states that have cracked down on abortion, like Texas, have introduced bills to protect IVF.

And yet, in June, Republican senators—including former President Donald Trump’s current running mate, J.D. Vance—voted against a bill that would have established a federal right to IVF care. The same month, members of the Southern Baptist church voted to oppose the use of IVF, a decision that has no legal ramifications but signals a growing willingness among religious conservatives to embrace prenatal personhood concepts that effectively place IVF in the same category as abortion.

How did we get here? And where are we going? 

Growing anti-IVF sentiment

The concept of prenatal personhood isn’t new, but it has historically been unpopular. In a 2013 legal journal article, reproductive-rights expert Maya Manian argued that’s because “public concern over the ‘side effects’ of personhood laws”—such as infringing on fertility care, contraception access, and women’s health care more broadly—“seems to have persuaded even those opposed to abortion to reject personhood legislation.” It was, in other words, a step too far for most people.

In a relatively short span of time, however, the idea has gone from “radical or fringe” to one that is gaining ground, Reingold says. It has even transcended the anti-abortion movement, with ex-spouses in some cases using the concept to argue that frozen embryos should be treated by the courts as children, not marital property, during divorce proceedings. As such ideas snowball, IVF may become the next frontier in the battle over reproductive rights, advocates and scholars say.

Read More: The Silent Shame of Male Infertility

“It’s clear to us—it always has been—that the anti-abortion movement has not, and will not, stop their efforts at limiting or banning abortion,” says Karla Torres, who leads the nonprofit Center for Reproductive Rights’ work on assisted reproductive technology. They are “squarely targeting reproductive freedom more broadly,” drawing everything from IVF to contraception into the fray.

If IVF becomes harder to access, it’s hard to overstate the effect for American families and culture at large. About 2% of babies born in the U.S. in recent years—nearly 100,000 annually—arrived with the help of IVF. But the technology’s impact transcends statistics. In about a half century of use, it has reshaped what it means to be a parent, who gets to be one, and how—progress that’s now under threat.

A confusing position

In some ways, IVF is an unlikely target. The technology enables people to have badly wanted biological children, a sentiment that could be seen as having a “conservative traditional family aspect to it,” says Amanda Roth, an associate professor of philosophy and women’s and gender studies at the State University of New York at Geneseo. The importance of having children is a regular conservative talking point—see: Vance recently calling child-free women “cat ladies” without a “direct stake” in the future of America—and IVF makes it possible for more people to do that.

But many in the anti-abortion movement argue that life begins at the moment of conception—that is, the moment sperm fertilizes an egg to create an embryo, either the old-fashioned way or in a laboratory. (A fertilized egg is considered an embryo until the end of the 10th week of pregnancy, when it becomes a fetus.)

To that effect, about a third of U.S. states currently have laws that establish prenatal personhood rights at some stage of pregnancy, usually as a means of curtailing access to abortion by establishing that terminating a pregnancy is tantamount to killing a child. Nine of these laws, such as those in Arkansas, Kansas, and Tennessee, are either sweeping enough or vaguely worded enough that they could put IVF services at risk, according to analysis from the nonprofit Pregnancy Justice provided to TIME. Six additional states, including the Dakotas, Michigan, and Oklahoma, have either feticide or wrongful death laws broad enough to potentially apply to embryos. And there’s always the possibility of new laws: already in 2024, more than a dozen bills focused on prenatal personhood have been introduced across the U.S.

Read More: The Abortion Fight Isn’t a ‘War on Women.’ It’s a War on Poor Women

Greer Donley, an associate professor at the University of Pittsburgh School of Law who studies abortion law, doesn’t think curtailing access to IVF is a “priority” for the anti-abortion movement, but rather an “unfortunate side effect that [anti-abortion advocates] haven’t been able to account for.” It’s a narrative problem: to argue an embryo in a mother’s womb is a person, but one sitting in a fertility clinic freezer isn’t, would weaken the movement’s argument. So, despite the cognitive dissonance, IVF has become “collateral damage” in the abortion wars, Donley believes.

Whether the situation was intentional or not, threats to IVF are real. The Alabama Supreme Court demonstrated as much in February, when it ruled that the state’s Wrongful Death of a Minor Act applies to not-yet-implanted embryos, prompting fertility clinics to pause IVF services for fear that patients or providers could be legally liable if embryos were destroyed in the course of care. That’s not an irrational fear: embryos are destroyed all the time in the fertility world, either purposely (perhaps because a patient no longer wishes to pay for storage, or because the embryo is unlikely to result in a healthy pregnancy) or because of human error.

Accidents happen, says Dr. Gerard Letterie, a reproductive endocrinologist at Seattle Reproductive Medicine who has written about the potential impact of fetal personhood laws on clinicians. An embryo could be destroyed through an innocent mistake, like someone tripping while carrying a petri dish. “If that were to be made a felony charge, that’s a big deal,” Letterie says.

In that scenario, clinics might stop services entirely to avoid putting providers in legal jeopardy, as happened in Alabama. Or, even if services proceeded, providers might stop practicing in states with punitive laws, Letterie says, making access to fertility care as scattershot as access to abortion care. Already, fertility clinics tend to be clustered in wealthier urban areas.

Read More: Why It’s So Hard to Have Your Fertility Tested

Even short of criminal charges for providers, prenatal personhood laws could affect fertility practices, Letterie says. He can imagine policies that limit the number of eggs that may be fertilized per cycle to avoid creating extra embryos that ultimately end up discarded. Such policies—the likes of which have already been implemented elsewhere in the world, such as in Malta—could reduce the odds of patients getting pregnant, since not all embryos are viable, and force people to go through more rounds of treatment, making IVF more expensive and inaccessible than it already is. IVF can already cost upward of $10,000 per cycle without insurance, and coverage varies by state and insurance provider. If costs go up even more, Letterie says, IVF would be inaccessible to virtually everyone who isn’t mega-wealthy or lucky to have excellent health insurance.

Even taking finances out of the picture, threats to IVF have particularly high stakes for certain people. Those who stand to lose the most are those for whom IVF has been revolutionary over its half century of use: namely same-sex couples, people with medical infertility, and those who have decided to have children without a partner or later in life. “The existence of reproductive technologies has opened up new horizons for family life,” says Marcia Inhorn, a medical anthropologist at Yale University and author of Motherhood on Ice: The Mating Gap and Why Women Freeze Their Eggs. In a future without reliable access to IVF, the possibilities of what families can look like might shrink.

A crossroads for U.S. culture

IVF and other fertility services helped break open the narrow definition of family that dominated for so long—a married man and woman and their naturally conceived children—to reveal a whole world of options. A mother can be 45 and single, even if she’s survived cancer or had her fallopian tubes removed or needs to use a donor egg to get pregnant. Same-sex couples can use “reciprocal” IVF to incorporate both of their genetic material. A child can even have three biological parents, a controversial technique that is not currently legal in the U.S. but is in several other countries.

“We’ve seen a significant diversification in how people understand kinship, relatedness, and parenting,” says Sarah Franklin, who directs the Reproductive Sociology Research Group at the University of Cambridge in the U.K. 

This progress has not been equally felt around the world. Compared to the U.S., Europe and Asia have historically employed stricter regulations on the use of reproductive technologies like IVF. Although some of those policies have loosened in recent years, single and older women, trans and non-binary people, and/or same-sex couples are still barred from using reproductive technologies in countries including China, Poland, Turkey, and Italy. And in many poorer countries, including most of the ones in Africa, there is next to no access to IVF at all.

Even in the U.S., where IVF is much more broadly used, reproductive medicine has not wiped out persistent stereotypes and social norms, says Arthur Greil, a professor emeritus at Alfred University in New York and author of Not Yet Pregnant: Infertile Couples in Contemporary America. People are willing to pay IVF’s exorbitant fees, at least in part, because society still emphasizes the importance of a genetic relationship between parent and child, Greil says. And, he says, the knee-jerk assumption is still that a child has both a mother and father. “If you are a single woman with a child, people just assume that you must have been divorced,” Greil says. “It’s become impolite to ask questions like, ‘Where is the baby’s father?’ But people still have the questions.”

Read More: I Was Told I Was Too Fat to Freeze My Eggs

Still, IVF has made what was once impossible—or, at the very least, difficult or done outside the scope of mainstream medicine—possible for many people. Sex, age, and medical diagnoses don’t necessarily close the road to biological parenthood anymore; they are just speed bumps. Reproductive technologies are expensive and imperfect, working only about half the time in the best circumstances and becoming even less of a sure bet among patients who are older or relying on donated embryos. But it has made the possibility of biological parenthood real for swaths of the population that, a century ago, would have had zero or few options. “Fertility medicine has made all of us parents-in-waiting,” says Laura Mamo, a professor of public health at San Francisco State University who studies the intersection of sexuality and medicine.

The trickle-down effects can be seen throughout U.S. culture. Women, no longer so pressured by biological clocks to end their careers just as they’re advancing, now outnumber men in the college-educated workforce, and some employers offer fertility benefits to entice workers to stay longer. People are getting married later, if ever, freed from the need to settle for an imperfect partner to have a family. Queer parenthood is on the rise, and same-sex couples are making fertility equality a new social-justice issue, fighting for fair treatment by insurance providers and clinicians. Scientific advances in fertility medicine, like the ability to pick embryos by sex, are even raising important new bioethical dilemmas.

IVF is not solely responsible for those shifts—Franklin sees it more as a “mirror” reflecting major societal changes and conditions—but it plays a part. Making the technology harder or impossible to access, then, would have profound effects on countless people, particularly those from marginalized groups. And that, Mamo says, may be exactly the point for some people pushing forward the prenatal personhood movement.

“It’s not really about personhood,” Mamo says. “It’s really about this expansion of gender and family and sexuality and autonomy over people’s bodies.”

Fighting back

Already, legislators and reproductive-rights advocates are preparing for battle. In his first speech as Kamala Harris’ vice presidential running mate, Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz reaffirmed his commitment to protecting reproductive health care including IVF, a technology that he and his wife used to have their daughter, Hope. “When Vice President [Harris] and I talk about freedom, we talk about the freedom to make your own health care decisions,” Walz said.

Elsewhere, the Center for Reproductive Rights has for years been working with partner advocacy groups and legislators to expand access to IVF by implementing new state policies around fertility coverage and broadening those that already exist, which are often written in ways that exclude same-sex couples or people who aren’t cisgender. That work is continuing in earnest, Torres says. And in the aftermath of the Alabama decision, lawmakers in at least a dozen states introduced bills meant to either protect IVF providers from liability or specify that embryos outside the human body do not legally qualify as people, according to the Guttmacher Institute, a reproductive-rights nonprofit. A broader package of pro-IVF bills moved forward at the federal level before being blocked by Republican senators in June.

Along with legislative solutions, the reproductive-rights movement is also trying to develop legal defenses that can be used to stop prenatal personhood arguments in court, says Donley, the Pittsburgh law professor. Judges may hold long-term appointments and don’t necessarily need to win elections—which means some can stray from public opinion with fewer consequences than elected officials. “I feel confident right now that the politics of reproductive rights are such that Republican legislatures aren’t going to pass anti-IVF bills,” Donley says. “Republican judges are another story. They get to do whatever they want.”

Read More: ‘I Don’t Have Faith in Doctors Anymore.’ Women Say They Were Pressured Into Long-Term Birth Control

That means people who want to protect IVF access will need compelling legal arguments, says Georgetown’s Reingold. One, she says, could be pointing out the slippery slope of prenatal personhood. If an embryo is considered a person in one legal context, it could be considered one in many: a pregnant person could arguably claim their embryo as a tax dependent, a beneficiary for public assistance, or (in a lower-stakes scenario) another person for the purposes of driving in a carpool lane. Pointing out “consequences for other areas of the law that haven’t necessarily been completely thought through” could be an effective strategy for limiting the influence of fetal personhood arguments, Reingold says.

Another possible consequence: if an embryo is legally considered a person, a pregnant person could feasibly be criminalized for a miscarriage or pregnancy complication, says Kulsoom Ijaz, a senior staff attorney at Pregnancy Justice. Ijaz says she’s “cautiously optimistic” that pointing out such dystopian ripple effects would sway some judges and lawmakers. “It’s a matter of summoning defiant hope so that we…make sure there is no more rollback on people’s most basic civil and human rights,” she says.

There is some precedent to back Ijaz’ optimism. Even in the 2022 U.S. Supreme Court decision that overturned Roe v. Wade, the justices did not take a position on “if and when prenatal life is entitled to any of the rights enjoyed after birth,” which could foreshadow a broader hesitation for judges throughout the U.S. court system to consider questions of legal personhood.

That reluctance may not last forever. But in the meantime, IVF advocates like Carr, the first U.S. person born using the technology, are leaning on some of the “best tools” they have: their own stories, which underscore how life-changing IVF can be for individuals, couples, and families. “I always knew there were people who didn’t agree with how I was born. Around age 10, I realized I can potentially educate people,” Carr says. “I feel very strongly, and I always have, that people fear things they don’t understand.”

The stakes of that education campaign are high. Carr’s birth was a historic first for the U.S. “I do not want to think about who could potentially be the last,” she says.

[sa7abnews]

IVF Changed America. But Its Future Is Under Threat

New Post has been published on https://sa7ab.info/2024/08/09/ivf-changed-america-but-its-future-is-under-threat/

IVF Changed America. But Its Future Is Under Threat

In February, a horrified Elizabeth Carr scrolled through headline after headline about a pause on in vitro fertilization (IVF) procedures in Alabama. The Alabama Supreme Court had ruled that frozen embryos have the legal rights of children, a decision that meant fertility providers could feasibly face prosecution if they destroyed one. Rather than take that risk, some fertility clinics halted IVF services entirely.

Carr, who in 1981 became the first baby in the U.S. born using IVF, felt like “an endangered species.” When Carr was born, IVF—a process of fertilizing eggs outside a woman’s body, then implanting a resulting embryo in her uterus—was new and largely unknown. Carr’s parents, who desperately wanted children but struggled to have them naturally, were willing to face public scrutiny and repeatedly travel from their home in Massachusetts to a pioneering clinic in Virginia to try the cutting-edge procedure. IVF’s success for the Carrs led not only to their daughter’s historic birth, but also compelled Elizabeth to become an advocate for reproductive rights when she grew up. Over those recent days in February, when patients in Alabama were shut out of fertility clinics, Carr acutely felt the importance of her work. Moments like those, she says, are “why we advocate so loudly.”

After public outcry and bipartisan pushback, Alabama lawmakers quickly passed protections for IVF providers, and services resumed. But IVF is still under attack.

Despite the backlash, judges in Alabama declined to reconsider their controversial ruling. And more than a dozen other U.S. states have laws in place that could be interpreted as bestowing personhood rights on an embryo, even if it has not yet resulted in a pregnancy. Courts in other states haven’t yet applied these laws in ways that directly threaten IVF—although Louisiana law forces fertility providers to ship embryos out of state for destruction—but the possibility is there if the wrong case comes before the wrong judge, says Rebecca Reingold, an associate director at the O’Neill Institute for National and Global Health Law at the Georgetown University Law Center.

Right now, it is politically unpopular to attack IVF, a technology that has given life to millions of people and hope to some of the one in six adults worldwide with infertility. Only 8% of U.S. adults actively oppose access to IVF, according to recent polling, and even lawmakers from states that have cracked down on abortion, like Texas, have introduced bills to protect IVF.

And yet, in June, Republican senators—including former President Donald Trump’s current running mate, J.D. Vance—voted against a bill that would have established a federal right to IVF care. The same month, members of the Southern Baptist church voted to oppose the use of IVF, a decision that has no legal ramifications but signals a growing willingness among religious conservatives to embrace prenatal personhood concepts that effectively place IVF in the same category as abortion.

How did we get here? And where are we going? 

Growing anti-IVF sentiment

The concept of prenatal personhood isn’t new, but it has historically been unpopular. In a 2013 legal journal article, reproductive-rights expert Maya Manian argued that’s because “public concern over the ‘side effects’ of personhood laws”—such as infringing on fertility care, contraception access, and women’s health care more broadly—“seems to have persuaded even those opposed to abortion to reject personhood legislation.” It was, in other words, a step too far for most people.

In a relatively short span of time, however, the idea has gone from “radical or fringe” to one that is gaining ground, Reingold says. It has even transcended the anti-abortion movement, with ex-spouses in some cases using the concept to argue that frozen embryos should be treated by the courts as children, not marital property, during divorce proceedings. As such ideas snowball, IVF may become the next frontier in the battle over reproductive rights, advocates and scholars say.

Read More: The Silent Shame of Male Infertility

“It’s clear to us—it always has been—that the anti-abortion movement has not, and will not, stop their efforts at limiting or banning abortion,” says Karla Torres, who leads the nonprofit Center for Reproductive Rights’ work on assisted reproductive technology. They are “squarely targeting reproductive freedom more broadly,” drawing everything from IVF to contraception into the fray.

If IVF becomes harder to access, it’s hard to overstate the effect for American families and culture at large. About 2% of babies born in the U.S. in recent years—nearly 100,000 annually—arrived with the help of IVF. But the technology’s impact transcends statistics. In about a half century of use, it has reshaped what it means to be a parent, who gets to be one, and how—progress that’s now under threat.

A confusing position

In some ways, IVF is an unlikely target. The technology enables people to have badly wanted biological children, a sentiment that could be seen as having a “conservative traditional family aspect to it,” says Amanda Roth, an associate professor of philosophy and women’s and gender studies at the State University of New York at Geneseo. The importance of having children is a regular conservative talking point—see: Vance recently calling child-free women “cat ladies” without a “direct stake” in the future of America—and IVF makes it possible for more people to do that.

But many in the anti-abortion movement argue that life begins at the moment of conception—that is, the moment sperm fertilizes an egg to create an embryo, either the old-fashioned way or in a laboratory. (A fertilized egg is considered an embryo until the end of the 10th week of pregnancy, when it becomes a fetus.)

To that effect, about a third of U.S. states currently have laws that establish prenatal personhood rights at some stage of pregnancy, usually as a means of curtailing access to abortion by establishing that terminating a pregnancy is tantamount to killing a child. Nine of these laws, such as those in Arkansas, Kansas, and Tennessee, are either sweeping enough or vaguely worded enough that they could put IVF services at risk, according to analysis from the nonprofit Pregnancy Justice provided to TIME. Six additional states, including the Dakotas, Michigan, and Oklahoma, have either feticide or wrongful death laws broad enough to potentially apply to embryos. And there’s always the possibility of new laws: already in 2024, more than a dozen bills focused on prenatal personhood have been introduced across the U.S.

Read More: The Abortion Fight Isn’t a ‘War on Women.’ It’s a War on Poor Women

Greer Donley, an associate professor at the University of Pittsburgh School of Law who studies abortion law, doesn’t think curtailing access to IVF is a “priority” for the anti-abortion movement, but rather an “unfortunate side effect that [anti-abortion advocates] haven’t been able to account for.” It’s a narrative problem: to argue an embryo in a mother’s womb is a person, but one sitting in a fertility clinic freezer isn’t, would weaken the movement’s argument. So, despite the cognitive dissonance, IVF has become “collateral damage” in the abortion wars, Donley believes.

Whether the situation was intentional or not, threats to IVF are real. The Alabama Supreme Court demonstrated as much in February, when it ruled that the state’s Wrongful Death of a Minor Act applies to not-yet-implanted embryos, prompting fertility clinics to pause IVF services for fear that patients or providers could be legally liable if embryos were destroyed in the course of care. That’s not an irrational fear: embryos are destroyed all the time in the fertility world, either purposely (perhaps because a patient no longer wishes to pay for storage, or because the embryo is unlikely to result in a healthy pregnancy) or because of human error.

Accidents happen, says Dr. Gerard Letterie, a reproductive endocrinologist at Seattle Reproductive Medicine who has written about the potential impact of fetal personhood laws on clinicians. An embryo could be destroyed through an innocent mistake, like someone tripping while carrying a petri dish. “If that were to be made a felony charge, that’s a big deal,” Letterie says.

In that scenario, clinics might stop services entirely to avoid putting providers in legal jeopardy, as happened in Alabama. Or, even if services proceeded, providers might stop practicing in states with punitive laws, Letterie says, making access to fertility care as scattershot as access to abortion care. Already, fertility clinics tend to be clustered in wealthier urban areas.

Read More: Why It’s So Hard to Have Your Fertility Tested

Even short of criminal charges for providers, prenatal personhood laws could affect fertility practices, Letterie says. He can imagine policies that limit the number of eggs that may be fertilized per cycle to avoid creating extra embryos that ultimately end up discarded. Such policies—the likes of which have already been implemented elsewhere in the world, such as in Malta—could reduce the odds of patients getting pregnant, since not all embryos are viable, and force people to go through more rounds of treatment, making IVF more expensive and inaccessible than it already is. IVF can already cost upward of $10,000 per cycle without insurance, and coverage varies by state and insurance provider. If costs go up even more, Letterie says, IVF would be inaccessible to virtually everyone who isn’t mega-wealthy or lucky to have excellent health insurance.

Even taking finances out of the picture, threats to IVF have particularly high stakes for certain people. Those who stand to lose the most are those for whom IVF has been revolutionary over its half century of use: namely same-sex couples, people with medical infertility, and those who have decided to have children without a partner or later in life. “The existence of reproductive technologies has opened up new horizons for family life,” says Marcia Inhorn, a medical anthropologist at Yale University and author of Motherhood on Ice: The Mating Gap and Why Women Freeze Their Eggs. In a future without reliable access to IVF, the possibilities of what families can look like might shrink.

A crossroads for U.S. culture

IVF and other fertility services helped break open the narrow definition of family that dominated for so long—a married man and woman and their naturally conceived children—to reveal a whole world of options. A mother can be 45 and single, even if she’s survived cancer or had her fallopian tubes removed or needs to use a donor egg to get pregnant. Same-sex couples can use “reciprocal” IVF to incorporate both of their genetic material. A child can even have three biological parents, a controversial technique that is not currently legal in the U.S. but is in several other countries.

“We’ve seen a significant diversification in how people understand kinship, relatedness, and parenting,” says Sarah Franklin, who directs the Reproductive Sociology Research Group at the University of Cambridge in the U.K. 

This progress has not been equally felt around the world. Compared to the U.S., Europe and Asia have historically employed stricter regulations on the use of reproductive technologies like IVF. Although some of those policies have loosened in recent years, single and older women, trans and non-binary people, and/or same-sex couples are still barred from using reproductive technologies in countries including China, Poland, Turkey, and Italy. And in many poorer countries, including most of the ones in Africa, there is next to no access to IVF at all.

Even in the U.S., where IVF is much more broadly used, reproductive medicine has not wiped out persistent stereotypes and social norms, says Arthur Greil, a professor emeritus at Alfred University in New York and author of Not Yet Pregnant: Infertile Couples in Contemporary America. People are willing to pay IVF’s exorbitant fees, at least in part, because society still emphasizes the importance of a genetic relationship between parent and child, Greil says. And, he says, the knee-jerk assumption is still that a child has both a mother and father. “If you are a single woman with a child, people just assume that you must have been divorced,” Greil says. “It’s become impolite to ask questions like, ‘Where is the baby’s father?’ But people still have the questions.”

Read More: I Was Told I Was Too Fat to Freeze My Eggs

Still, IVF has made what was once impossible—or, at the very least, difficult or done outside the scope of mainstream medicine—possible for many people. Sex, age, and medical diagnoses don’t necessarily close the road to biological parenthood anymore; they are just speed bumps. Reproductive technologies are expensive and imperfect, working only about half the time in the best circumstances and becoming even less of a sure bet among patients who are older or relying on donated embryos. But it has made the possibility of biological parenthood real for swaths of the population that, a century ago, would have had zero or few options. “Fertility medicine has made all of us parents-in-waiting,” says Laura Mamo, a professor of public health at San Francisco State University who studies the intersection of sexuality and medicine.

The trickle-down effects can be seen throughout U.S. culture. Women, no longer so pressured by biological clocks to end their careers just as they’re advancing, now outnumber men in the college-educated workforce, and some employers offer fertility benefits to entice workers to stay longer. People are getting married later, if ever, freed from the need to settle for an imperfect partner to have a family. Queer parenthood is on the rise, and same-sex couples are making fertility equality a new social-justice issue, fighting for fair treatment by insurance providers and clinicians. Scientific advances in fertility medicine, like the ability to pick embryos by sex, are even raising important new bioethical dilemmas.

IVF is not solely responsible for those shifts—Franklin sees it more as a “mirror” reflecting major societal changes and conditions—but it plays a part. Making the technology harder or impossible to access, then, would have profound effects on countless people, particularly those from marginalized groups. And that, Mamo says, may be exactly the point for some people pushing forward the prenatal personhood movement.

“It’s not really about personhood,” Mamo says. “It’s really about this expansion of gender and family and sexuality and autonomy over people’s bodies.”

Fighting back

Already, legislators and reproductive-rights advocates are preparing for battle. In his first speech as Kamala Harris’ vice presidential running mate, Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz reaffirmed his commitment to protecting reproductive health care including IVF, a technology that he and his wife used to have their daughter, Hope. “When Vice President [Harris] and I talk about freedom, we talk about the freedom to make your own health care decisions,” Walz said.

Elsewhere, the Center for Reproductive Rights has for years been working with partner advocacy groups and legislators to expand access to IVF by implementing new state policies around fertility coverage and broadening those that already exist, which are often written in ways that exclude same-sex couples or people who aren’t cisgender. That work is continuing in earnest, Torres says. And in the aftermath of the Alabama decision, lawmakers in at least a dozen states introduced bills meant to either protect IVF providers from liability or specify that embryos outside the human body do not legally qualify as people, according to the Guttmacher Institute, a reproductive-rights nonprofit. A broader package of pro-IVF bills moved forward at the federal level before being blocked by Republican senators in June.

Along with legislative solutions, the reproductive-rights movement is also trying to develop legal defenses that can be used to stop prenatal personhood arguments in court, says Donley, the Pittsburgh law professor. Judges may hold long-term appointments and don’t necessarily need to win elections—which means some can stray from public opinion with fewer consequences than elected officials. “I feel confident right now that the politics of reproductive rights are such that Republican legislatures aren’t going to pass anti-IVF bills,” Donley says. “Republican judges are another story. They get to do whatever they want.”

Read More: ‘I Don’t Have Faith in Doctors Anymore.’ Women Say They Were Pressured Into Long-Term Birth Control

That means people who want to protect IVF access will need compelling legal arguments, says Georgetown’s Reingold. One, she says, could be pointing out the slippery slope of prenatal personhood. If an embryo is considered a person in one legal context, it could be considered one in many: a pregnant person could arguably claim their embryo as a tax dependent, a beneficiary for public assistance, or (in a lower-stakes scenario) another person for the purposes of driving in a carpool lane. Pointing out “consequences for other areas of the law that haven’t necessarily been completely thought through” could be an effective strategy for limiting the influence of fetal personhood arguments, Reingold says.

Another possible consequence: if an embryo is legally considered a person, a pregnant person could feasibly be criminalized for a miscarriage or pregnancy complication, says Kulsoom Ijaz, a senior staff attorney at Pregnancy Justice. Ijaz says she’s “cautiously optimistic” that pointing out such dystopian ripple effects would sway some judges and lawmakers. “It’s a matter of summoning defiant hope so that we…make sure there is no more rollback on people’s most basic civil and human rights,” she says.

There is some precedent to back Ijaz’ optimism. Even in the 2022 U.S. Supreme Court decision that overturned Roe v. Wade, the justices did not take a position on “if and when prenatal life is entitled to any of the rights enjoyed after birth,” which could foreshadow a broader hesitation for judges throughout the U.S. court system to consider questions of legal personhood.

That reluctance may not last forever. But in the meantime, IVF advocates like Carr, the first U.S. person born using the technology, are leaning on some of the “best tools” they have: their own stories, which underscore how life-changing IVF can be for individuals, couples, and families. “I always knew there were people who didn’t agree with how I was born. Around age 10, I realized I can potentially educate people,” Carr says. “I feel very strongly, and I always have, that people fear things they don’t understand.”

The stakes of that education campaign are high. Carr’s birth was a historic first for the U.S. “I do not want to think about who could potentially be the last,” she says.

[motherandchildcarein]

Some Tips To Choose Best Gynecologist in Delhi

Whenever it comes time to find a new Gynecologist in Dwarka, whether due to a relocation or a change in health, a woman should take her time to find one who will work well enough for her. There are several factors to consider, including geography, philosophical compatibility, specialty, and whether or not he or she has any openings for new patients. Below are the top tips for selecting this critical medical practitioner.

Best Gynecologist in Delhi with specialisations in infertility, cancer, or obstetrics are common. If you're experiencing difficulty becoming pregnant, you'll want to see a doctor that specialises in infertility. Whether you or a close relative has had uterus or gynaecological cancer, it is a good idea to be paired with an oncologist. If you intend towards becoming pregnant, you should see a doctor who specialises in obstetrics.

On the other hand, if you are certain that you will not have any more children, you should choose a physician whose practise is limited to gynaecology so that you will not have to contend for appointments with schedules that are used up delivering infants.

Insurance: Check to see if a Best Gynecologist in Dwarka accepts your insurance. You don't want to be startled by a large charge for care you thought was included by your health insurance.

Philosophy: If you prefer alternative health therapies and natural care wherever possible, make absolutely sure that your potential doctor shares your beliefs. This would be an excellent topic to address during your initial appointment.

Gender: Some ladies prefer a female doctor for Painless delivery in Delhi, while others prefer a male doctor. Consider your individual preferences while selecting a new gynaecologist.

Consider how far you're willing to travel for your new doctor and narrow down your options with a map in hand.

Availability: Many gynaecologists' practises have reached capacity and are no more accepting new patients. Call before crossing.

When you call a doctor's office, your first impression gives you a decent idea of how the clinic is run. Is the receptionist kind and accommodating? Is she curt and grumpy? A well-run office frequently has happy employees.

Compatibility: Let's face it, you'll be giving some of your most private medical information. Your gynaecologist should be someone you feel more comfortable addressing your most intimate body parts and functions with.

Referrals: Having referrals from happy patients is always beneficial. Is this doctor highly recommended by friends, female nurses, or family doctors you know?

Hours of Operation: What is the working hour and do they coincide with times you'd be available to attend for an appointment? It may be difficult to get in if they are really busy. Who will cover for them in an emergency?

Get solutions to all of these questions, as well as any ones that may arise as you gather information, and you will be well on your way to choosing the best gynaecologist for you. Trust your gut feelings after all has been said and done.

[kitkatscabinet]

Request #1: Nick Furcillo taking care of his girlfriend who is currently on the 1st day of her period and it's... bad. I mean BAD. Horrific, painful period cramps leaving her bedridden, nausea that prevents her from eating anything but crackers, persistent stomach pain, aches, etc. God, he feels so horrible knowing he can't take any of the pain or discomfort away from her but he does know that at least he can make this week a little more bearable for her and that's exactly what he plans to do, even if it means abandoning all his camp duties as well. (🐺 Anon)

Word count: 747

Genre: fluff

Pairing: Nick x reader (gender neutral pronouns are used but reader has a uterus)

Warnings: periods

Nick was panicking, you hadn’t been at breakfast and none of the kids had seen you all day. None of his fellow male counsellors knew anything either and it was only when he managed to grab a hold of Emma at lunch that he was informed you weren’t feeling well. The slight relief that had filled him at the knowledge of your location and relative wellness once again leaving his body at the sight of you. Rushing over to your side he was immediately frantic, hands coming to rest on your sweaty face as he rapidly asked what was wrong, what he could do to help.

Blearily opening your eyes to find his worried face you smiled slightly before you were wracked with another all-encompassing cramp, groaning aloud and curling in on yourself. Making your boyfriend worry even more before you managed to assure him that nothing was seriously wrong, you had just started your period and it was unfortunately a really bad one.

“Mm’ok, just started my period this morning” you said, voice muffled from where you’d buried in the comforter. That had Nick relaxing a lot as he remembered yesterday when you’d snapped at Jacob for accidentally stepping on the back of your shoe and then cried when you apologised for being too mean.

“Oh, that’s why you were such a bi-” he started, only to be cut off

“I suggest you choose your next words very carefully” you glared, the sickly sheen of your skin doing wonders for the intimidation factor. After that Nick had gone to get you a glass of water only to almost drop it when he’d returned to find you crying. Rushing over he put the glass down out of reach and comfortingly stroked you hair, as he tried to discern the root of the problem.

“Everything hurts” you heaved through sobs “my cramps are so bad, nothing I do helps I just can’t get comfortable. My back hurts and I have a headache and I’m so hungry but I constantly feel like I have to throw up” you were crying in both pain and frustration now and Nick could feel his heart breaking at the fact he couldn’t do anything to take away the pain. You’d since moved to hunch up in a ball, legs under your tummy arms tucked closely by your sides and forehead on the mattress, sometimes this position would help with the cramps but it only seemed to make them worse today.

Nick stayed by your side the rest of the day, he’d gone fishing through your bag at instruction and had received some naprogesics for the pain. He had rubbed your hair, back, tummy, anywhere you wanted and whispered soothing words until you had had enough of his well-meaning but misplaced phrases. He’d helped you hobble along to the toilet and had gotten a cloth to help wipe the sweat off. He'd even brought you a nice little bucket he named Henry, ready and willing to hold it up for you in case you did throw up.

He'd soothed your frustration by just being there and telling you stories and gossip about the other counsellors, making you laugh through the pain. The image of Jacob screaming like a little bitch every time he saw a spider was now well and truly burned into your brain, so was the time Dylan had apparently fallen face first down a set of stairs in front of the kids. Hearing you laugh had made Nick smile as he continued to try and take your mind off things with more and more ridiculous stories.

He stayed until the kids filtered in to get ready for bed, staring at him in confusion before you made them promise they wouldn’t snitch to Mr Hackett. One of the kids had just nodded solemnly before proclaiming that snitched got stitches and now you were mildly concerned but you were on your period and therefore it wasn’t your issue.

Nick had ended up managing to stay the night and you fell asleep to the feeling of his soothing hands gently massaging you as you finally got yourself comfortable wrapped in his embrace. And if by the next morning you refused to let him go then that was all your periods fault.

Unbeknownst to you this was just fine by him. He would be going to see Mr Hackett to inform the man that both you and him would be out of commission for the week, he wasn't about to let you suffer alone.

[sciencespies]

The Sex Education Pamphlet That Sparked a Landmark Censorship Case

https://sciencespies.com/history/the-sex-education-pamphlet-that-sparked-a-landmark-censorship-case/

The Sex Education Pamphlet That Sparked a Landmark Censorship Case

Mary Ware Dennett wrote The Sex Side of Life in 1915 as a teaching tool for her teenage sons. Photo illustration by Meilan Solly / Photos courtesy of Sharon Spaulding and Newspapers.com

It only took 42 minutes for an all-male jury to convict Mary Ware Dennett. Her crime? Sending a sex education pamphlet through the mail.

Charged with violating the Comstock Act of 1873—one of a series of so-called chastity laws—Dennett, a reproductive rights activist, had written and illustrated the booklet in question for her own teenage sons, as well as for parents around the country looking for a new way to teach their children about sex.

Lawyer Morris Ernst filed an appeal, setting in motion a federal court case that signaled the beginning of the end of the country’s obscenity laws. The pair’s victory marked the zenith of Dennett’s life work, building on her previous efforts to publicize and increase access to contraception and sex education. (Prior to the trial, she was best known as the more conservative rival of Margaret Sanger, founder of Planned Parenthood.) Today, however, United States v. Dennett and its defendant are relatively unknown.

“One of the reasons the Dennett case hasn’t gotten the attention that it deserves is simply because it was an incremental victory, but one that took the crucial first step,” says Laura Weinrib, a constitutional historian and law scholar at Harvard University. “First steps are often overlooked. We tend to look at the culmination and miss the progression that got us there.”

Dennett wrote the offending pamphlet (in blue) for her two sons.  

Sharon Spaulding / Dennett Family Archive

Dennett wrote the pamphlet in question, The Sex Side of Life: An Explanation for Young People, in 1915. Illustrated with anatomically correct drawings, it provided factual information, offered a discussion of human physiology and celebrated sex as a natural human act.

“[G]ive them the facts,” noted Dennett in the text, “… but also give them some conception of sex life as a vivifying joy, as a vital art, as a thing to be studied and developed with reverence for its big meaning, with understanding of its far-reaching reactions, psychologically and spiritually.”

After Dennett’s 14-year-old son approved the booklet, she circulated it among friends who, in turn, shared it with others. Eventually, The Sex Side of Life landed on the desk of editor Victor Robinson, who published it in his Medical Review of Reviewsin 1918. Calling the pamphlet “a splendid contribution,” Robinson added, “We know nothing that equals Mrs. Dennett’s brochure.” Dennett, for her part, received so many requests for copies that she had the booklet reprinted and began selling it for a quarter to anyone who wrote to her asking for one.

These transactions flew in the face of the Comstock Laws, federal and local anti-obscenity legislation that equated birth control with pornography and rendered all devices and information for the prevention of conception illegal. Doctors couldn’t discuss contraception with their patients, nor could parents discuss it with their children.

Dennett as a young woman

Sharon Spaulding / Dennett Family Archive

The Sex Side of Life offered no actionable advice regarding birth control. As Dennett acknowledged in the brochure, “At present, unfortunately, it is against the law to give people information as to how to manage their sex relations so that no baby will be created.” But the Comstock Act also stated that any printed material deemed “obscene, lewd or lascivious”—labels that could be applied to the illustrated pamphlet—was “non-mailable.” First-time offenders faced up to five years in prison or a maximum fine of $5,000.

In the same year that Dennett first wrote the brochure, she co-founded the National Birth Control League (NBCL), the first organization of its kind. The group’s goal was to change obscenity laws at a state level and unshackle the subject of sex from Victorian morality and misinformation.

By 1919, Dennett had adopted a new approach to the fight for women’s rights. A former secretary for state and national suffrage associations, she borrowed a page from the suffrage movement, tackling the issue on the federal level rather than state-by-state. She resigned from the NBCL and founded the Voluntary Parenthood League, whose mission was to pass legislation in Congress that would remove the words “preventing conception” from federal statutes, thereby uncoupling birth control from pornography.

Dennett soon found that the topic of sex education and contraception was too controversial for elected officials. Her lobbying efforts proved unsuccessful, so in 1921, she again changed tactics. Though the Comstock Laws prohibited the dissemination of obscene materials through the mail, they granted the postmaster general the power to determine what constituted obscenity. Dennett reasoned that if the Post Office lifted its ban on birth control materials, activists would win a partial victory and be able to offer widespread access to information.

Postmaster General William Hays, who had publicly stated that the Post Office should not function as a censorship organization, emerged as a potential ally. But Hays resigned his post in January 1922 without taking action. (Ironically, Hays later established what became known as the Hays Code, a set of self-imposed restrictions on profanity, sex and morality in the motion picture industry.) Dennett had hoped that the incoming postmaster general, Hubert Work, would fulfill his predecessor’s commitments. Instead, one of Work’s first official actions was to order copies of the Comstock Laws prominently displayed in every post office across America. He then declared The Sex Side of Life “unmailable” and “indecent.”

Mary Ware Dennett, pictured in the 1940s

Dennett Family Archive

Undaunted, Dennett redoubled her lobbying efforts in Congress and began pushing to have the postal ban on her booklet removed. She wrote to Work, pressing him to identify which section was obscene, but no response ever arrived. Dennett also asked Arthur Hays, chief counsel of the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), to challenge the ban in court. In letters preserved at Radcliffe College’s Schlesinger Library, Dennett argued that her booklet provided scientific and factual information. Though sympathetic, Hays declined, believing that the ACLU couldn’t win the case.

By 1925, Dennett—discouraged, broke and in poor health—had conceded defeat regarding her legislative efforts and semi-retired. But she couldn’t let the issue go entirely. She continued to mail The Sex Side of Life to those who requested copies and, in 1926, published a book titled Birth Control Laws: Shall We Keep Them, Change Them, or Abolish Them?

Publicly, Dennett’s mission was to make information about birth control legal; privately, however, her motivation was to protect other women from the physical and emotional suffering she had endured.

The activist wed in 1900 and gave birth to three children, two of whom survived, within five years. Although the specifics of her medical condition are unknown, she likely suffered from lacerations of the uterus or fistulas, which are sometimes caused by childbirth and can be life-threatening if one becomes pregnant again.

Without access to contraceptives, Dennett faced a terrible choice: refrain from sexual intercourse or risk death if she conceived. Within two years, her husband had left her for another woman.

Dennett obtained custody of her children, but her abandonment and lack of access to birth control continued to haunt her. Eventually, these experiences led her to conclude that winning the vote was only one step on the path to equality. Women, she believed, deserved more.

In 1928, Dennett again reached out to the ACLU, this time to lawyer Ernst, who agreed to challenge the postal ban on the Sex Side of Life in court. Dennett understood the risks and possible consequences to her reputation and privacy, but she declared herself ready to “take the gamble and be game.” As she knew from press coverage of her separation and divorce, newspaper headlines and stories could be sensational, even salacious. (The story was considered scandalous because Dennett’s husband wanted to leave her to form a commune with another family.)

Dennett cofounded the National Birth Control League, the first organization of its kind in the U.S., in 1915. Three years later, she launched the Voluntary Parenthood League, which lobbied Congress to change federal obscenity laws.

Sharon Spaulding / Dennett Family Archive

“Dennett believed that anyone who needed contraception should get it without undue burden or expense, without moralizing or gatekeeping by the medical establishment,” says Stephanie Gorton, author of Citizen Reporters: S.S. McClure, Ida Tarbell and the Magazine That Rewrote America. “Though she wasn’t fond of publicity, she was willing to endure a federal obscenity trial so the next generation could have accurate sex education—and learn the facts of life without connecting them with shame or disgust.”

In January 1929, before Ernst had finalized his legal strategy, Dennett was indicted by the government. Almost overnight, the trial became national news, buoyed by The Sex Side of Life’s earlier endorsement by medical organizations, parents’ groups, colleges and churches. The case accomplished a significant piece of what Dennett had worked 15 years to achieve: Sex, censorship and reproductive rights were being debated across America.

During the trial, assistant U.S. attorney James E. Wilkinson called the Sex Side of Life “pure and simple smut.” Pointing at Dennett, he warned that she would “lead our children not only into the gutter, but below the gutter and into the sewer.”

None of Dennett’s expert witnesses were allowed to testify. The all-male jury took just 45 minutes to convict. Ernst filed an appeal.

In May, following Dennett’s conviction but prior to the appellate court’s ruling, an investigative reporter for the New York Telegram uncovered the source of the indictment. A postal inspector named C.E. Dunbar had been “ordered” to investigate a complaint about the pamphlet filed by an official with the Daughters of the American Revolution (DAR). Using the pseudonym Mrs. Carl Miles, Dunbar sent a decoy letter to Dennett requesting a copy of the pamphlet. Unsuspecting, Dennett mailed the copy, thereby setting in motion her indictment, arrest and trial. (Writing about the trial later, Dennett noted that the DAR official who allegedly made the complaint was never called as a witness or identified. The activist speculated, “Is she, perhaps, as mythical as Mrs. Miles?”)

Dennett’s is a name that deserves to be known.

When news of the undercover operation broke, Dennett wrote to her family that “support for the case is rolling up till it looks like a mountain range.” Leaders from the academic, religious, social and political sectors formed a national committee to raise money and awareness in support of Dennett; her name became synonymous with free speech and sex education.

In March 1930, an appellate court reversed Dennett’s conviction, setting a landmark precedent. It wasn’t the full victory Dennett had devoted much of her life to achieving, but it cracked the legal armor of censorship.

“Even though Mary Ware Dennett wasn’t a lawyer, she became an expert in obscenity law,” says constitutional historian Weinrib. “U.S. v. Dennett was influential in that it generated both public enthusiasm and money for the anti-censorship movement. It also had a tangible effect on the ACLU’s organizational policies, and it led the ACLU to enter the fight against all forms of what we call morality-based censorship.”

Ernst was back in court the following year. Citing U.S. v. Dennett, he won two lawsuits on behalf of British sex educator Marie Stopes and her previously banned books, Married Love and Contraception. Then, in 1933, Ernst expanded on arguments made in the Dennett case to encompass literature and the arts. He challenged the government’s ban on James Joyce’s Ulysses and won, in part because of the precedent set by Dennett’s case. Other important legal victories followed, each successively loosening the legal definition of obscenity. But it was only in 1970 that the Comstock Laws were fully struck down.

Ninety-two years after Dennett’s arrest, titles dealing with sex continue to top the list of the American Library Association’s most frequently challenged books. Sex education hasn’t fared much better. As of September 2021, only 18 states require sex education to be medically accurate, and only 30 states mandate sex education at all. The U.S. has one of the highestteen pregnancy rates of all developed nations.

What might Dennett think or do if she were alive today? Lauren MacIvor Thompson, a historian of early 20th-century women’s rights and public health at Kennesaw State University, takes the long view:

While it’s disheartening that we are fighting the same battles over sex and sex education today, I think that if Dennett were still alive, she’d be fighting with school boards to include medically and scientifically accurate, inclusive, and appropriate information in schools. … She’d [also] be fighting to ensure fair contraceptive and abortion access, knowing that the three pillars of education, access and necessary medical care all go hand in hand.

At the time of Dennett’s death in 1947, The Sex Side of Life had been translated into 15 languages and printed in 23 editions. Until 1964, the activist’s family continued to mail the pamphlet to anyone who requested a copy.

 “As a lodestar in the history of marginalized Americans claiming bodily autonomy and exercising their right to free speech in a cultural moment hostile to both principles,” says Gorton, “Dennett’s is a name that deserves to be known.”

Activism

Censorship

Law

Sex

Sexuality

Women’s History

Women’s Rights

Women’s Suffrage

#History

[esmealux]

Bloody Hell

Part: 1 / 2

Setting: After 5a

Word count: 3K

Rating: T

Summary: Lucifer’s first period.

The elevator dings as Lucifer reaches the penthouse. ‘And the Devil’s back! I found your breakfast burritos and now a guy owes me a favour, so all in all, a successful trip,’ he tells her as he takes off his jacket and places it on the bar. With Chloe’s breakfast in hand, he turns towards his sofa to grin at her, only to discover she isn’t lying there, closer to ‘naked’ than ‘dressed’, like she was when he left to fetch her some food.

‘Detective?’ he calls out, walking up the steps to his bedroom. The bed is empty apart from the crumbled black silk sheets and her bra. His heart starts drumming a little faster against his ribcage.

‘Detective, where are you?’ His voice is rough and squeaky, the words almost resonating off the walls in the silent penthouse. Much too silent.

He starts searching the entire place, looking for signs of struggle and clues that’ll show him which one of his wretched siblings has kidnapped her this time. After investigating the living room and balcony thoroughly, turning every piece of furniture, looking behind every curtain, he goes back to his bedroom to check if she’s miraculously popped up. When she (still) isn’t under the bed, he’s inflamed, his annoyance and anxiety building into infernal heat, spreading through his body like a wildfire. ‘Detective, I swear to you, I will punish whoever-’

‘Lucifer, calm down,’ he suddenly hears her say, her voice muffled. The sound has relief washing over him, calming down his blazing body. ‘I’m in here.’

As he realises she’s in the bathroom, he hurriedly strides down the hall, presses his body to the door, and yanks down the handle. It’s locked. Panic still hot in his throat, he clenches his hand around the gold, ready to break in when she snaps at him from behind the door. ‘Jesus, Lucifer, what have I told you about privacy?!’

He wants to comment on her choice of exclamation, but something in her voice stops him. ‘Right. Sorry, Detective.’ He puts a hand on the door, tenderly. ‘I just- Are you okay?’

‘Yeah, I’m fine,’ she assures him, still a little peeved. ‘Could you just do something for me, please?’

‘Anything your heart desires,’ he says with a grin, the last embers of fear now put out by the sound of her slightly annoyed (and thus natural) voice.

‘Well, I really desire that you find my purse and bring it to me. I think I put it on the bar.’

He frowns, thinking. ‘Uhm, no. You didn’t. In fact, it’s not anywhere in the penthouse, I’m afraid.’

‘Wha- You already looked?’ she asks, surprised.

‘Well, technically, yes.’

He hears her mutter something along the lines of ‘what does that even mean?’ before she, quite sceptically, asks, ‘Are you sure? Lucifer, I’m not in the mood for pranks right now.’

When are you ever? he thinks, still disappointed she didn’t appreciate his creativity last time he tried to lighten the mood. But he’s not looking to rouse her now, so he tells her the truth, hoping it will allay her annoyance, inexplicable as he finds it. ‘If you really must know, I spent five full minutes searching the entire place for signs that you’d been hurt by one of my pathetic relatives, so yes, Detective, I am pretty damn sure your little too big and quite mum-ish bag isn’t here,’ he tells her. He hears her grunt a profanity he’s only ever heard her moan ecstatically in the throes of passion; now it’s laced with frustration and despair. Something is going on with her, and he needs to figure out what it is before she ruins more of his favourite words.

‘Why on Earth do you need your rucksack in my bathroom anyway?’

‘It’s not a rucksack,’ she tells him.

‘Ah, nice try! But I will not let you deflect my truly relevant question. What is it you need, Detective?’ He tries again, more inquisitively this time.

No answer.

His brow creases with worry and the slightest hint of an ache settles in his chest. ‘What’s going on?’

Several heart beats pass. He tries to remain patient but after seven seconds, his hands are banging on the door and yanking down the antique French handle aggressively. ‘Detective, let me in please! Did you use the razor Maze made you? I told you not to do that! Are you hurt? Did you trip? Do you have a nosebleed? Dearie me, did you get yourself poisoned again? I- Just please tell me what’s wrong. Whatever it is, I want to help,’ he says, his voice going softer towards the end. With anyone else, he’s not easily alarmed, but the Devil’s girlfriend does tend to get herself into danger a little more often than the average person.

He hears her sigh, short and sharply. ‘If you want to help me, you need to calm down,’ she tells him in the same slow and placid voice she uses on people who are bold enough to point a gun at her. ‘I’m fine.’

He takes a deep, shaky breath, her words easing his nerves a little.

‘Then why are you acting so… strange? And why in Dad’s name are you hiding in my bathroom? I mean, bloody hell, Detective, I was mere seconds from filing an MPR!’

She snorts, murmuring something about a drama queen. Then silence. A deep breath.

‘Well,’ she finally says, still an annoyed edge to her tone. ‘‘Bloody hell’ is not that far off, actually.’

He knits his brow. ‘Excuse me?’

She sighs deeply behind the door. ‘It’s just, uhm, you know… lady stuff.’

He blinks, dumbfounded.

‘Oh,’ is what he replies.

He would tease her about the euphemism, pretend he doesn’t understand, but he understands. He understands everything. Thinking back to the night before, he remembers her acting a little oddly then as well - giggly and gleeful one moment, fractious and bitter the next. He’d blamed it on her tipsiness, but now that he thinks about it, and does the math, she did take him hostage on a similar emotional rollercoaster ride, one, two, three, circa four weeks ago. And, yes, four weeks before that, too. The first time, he’d thought it was the stress from having her mother stay over for the urchin’s birthday. The second time, he’d indicted the particularly troubling case they’d been working. But it hadn’t (solely) been Penelope Decker nor a frustrating and possibly record-breaking number of dead ends that had made the Detective chaotically jump around the emotional spectrum to the point he’d worried she was suffering from a light personality disorder. No, apparently, it was the tiny rascals known to humans as ‘hormones’ who’d been wreaking havoc in her brain, manipulating her emotions – then and now.

He hasn’t uttered anything apart from the one (cleverly phrased) syllable since the revelation, and she must interpret his silence as lack of comprehension, because she begins to explain the bloody thing: ‘You know, when a woman-’

‘Yes, thank you, Detective, I am familiar with the concept of menstruation. Quite popular method of torture in Hell, actually,’ he informs her, cutting her biology lesson short.

‘Tell me about it.’

‘Well, surprisingly, it’s mostly-’

‘That was a rhetorical- Never mind.’

He hears more than just annoyance in her voice now; she’s in pain. His chest aches again. ‘Is something wrong? I mean, I have met a lot of women whose deepest desires were to be knocked out cold during Aunt Flo’s monthly visit, but at least we know for certain there isn’t a mini-Satan inside you, ravaging your uterus,’ he points out in an attempt to cheer her up. It’s mostly a joke, because it shouldn’t be possible—isn’t possible—and yet a part of him is still exceedingly relieved that she, after three weeks of thoroughly unprotected (and sinfully delectable) sex with him, isn’t carrying, well, the Devil’s spawn.

‘Kinda feels like someone’s ravaging my uterus,’ she says with a groan. His heart starts pounding, hard and deafening. Dark spots appear before his eyes as blood leaves his head.

‘I- that’s not- what?’

‘No, Lucifer. Relax. I’m not pregnant.’ She tries to sound mild and calm, but he can tell she’s aggravated, and horribly pained. ‘It’s just cramps.’

‘Oh, right,’ he mumbles, a full-blown panic attack officially averted. Still, something in her voice makes his teeth grit and his eyes flare red. He wants to punish whatever in her body is putting her through such… torture, wants to torture it back. Or, since he can’t really do that, just have a quick chat with his father and whoever assisted him in designing the inhumanly excruciating menstrual cramps. (And humans think the Devil is the one who’s truly evil.) But he realises a family discussion might not actually help his suffering Detective right now, so instead he wills his voice to sound calm and asks her, ‘Is there anything I can do?’

As he waits, quite impatiently, for her answer, he pulls out his phone and googles ‘what to do when your girlfriend’s surfing the crimson wave.’ He’s about to tap on the top hit when she replies, ‘Uhm, well, yes, there is, actually.’ Her words both surprise and delight him. He loves to feel needed.

‘Lovely! Whatever you need, I’m here to fix it as your very own PA.’  He puts his phone back, letting his hand stay in his pocket, and clarifies, ‘Period Assistant.’ As usual, she rudely ignores his clever play on words.

‘Okay, I just need to know if you have any… stuff? Like, maybe Eve had a stash somewhere?’

‘Stuff?’ he asks, beyond clueless as to what she’s hinting at.

‘Yeah, you know-’ she starts explaining when he interrupts her, suddenly remembering. ‘Well, come to think of it, Eve did indeed have a stash!’

‘She did?’ She sounds relieved, and it makes his heart flutter a little. ‘Do you know where? ‘Cause I searched all your cabinets, but I couldn’t find anything.’

‘Uh, I’m pretty sure it’s in my bookshelf,’ he says, already turning to go find it. ‘Would you prefer marijuana or molly?’

‘For God’s sake, Lucifer!’ she screams behind him, the door between them doing very little to lower the sound. ‘I don’t need freaking party drugs! This,’ she says, breathing angrily. A couple of seconds pass. ‘This is what I need.’

A tissue slides out under the door. With a raised eyebrow, he bends down to pick it up and sees that she’s scribbled some words on it with what appears to be an eyeliner. He doesn’t know what any of them mean. Well, ‘ibuprofen’ and ‘don’t be an ass’ he understands, but the rest are foreign to him.

‘Right, are these strippers’ names, or…? I think I’ve made a deal with an Always once, actual-’

‘They’re feminine hygiene products, Lucifer! I need feminine hygiene products! I want you to go buy me a whole lot I can leave in here, so I’ll never need to have this conversation ever again!’ she shouts, fuming all of a sudden. ‘So go out, and get me some tampons and pads—and that’s pads with wings! ‘Cause I swear to God, Lucifer, if you come back with pads that do not have wings, I might actually cut off your d-’

‘Yes, we get the picture, Detective!’ he cuts her off, chuckling nervously. It’s not that he hasn’t experienced his partner pissed before (he calls it Tuesday as a matter of fact), but she’s never threatened to mutilate him. ‘Whatever you need,’ he appeases her, his voice sweet and velvety. ‘Anything else?’ He reads the list she has given him, carefully paying attention to every request this time. ‘Right, ibuprofen for the- yes, your cramps. I’m afraid I’ve run out, but I’m sure I can get some wherever I’ll find,’—he squints his eyes to focus on the words — ‘Always ultra thin super long pads with flexie-wings and… Tampax pearl compak super. I mean, who the Hell names these things? Not that it matters, of course. If that’s what you need, that’s what you’ll get,’ he assures her.

As he studies her order closely one more time, his stomach growls and he realises that neither of them has eaten anything yet. He immediately offers to bring her breakfast to her; surely, her body needs alle the strength it can get to overcome whatever unpleasant side-effects other than dysmenorrhea his oh, so benevolent father has so generously granted the female population of the Earth.

‘Yes, please,’ she croaks meekly behind the door in response to his offer. ‘That would be nice.’

He goes to retrieve the burritos from atop the piano where he’d dropped them in the haste of his search. Once he’s back with them, he—gently—knocks on the door. After a couple of seconds, he hears the key turn before she opens the door just enough to reach out her arm through the crack. He’s about to give her the branded paper bag, when he thinks twice of it and instead takes her hand in his, entwining their fingers. Softly, he strokes the back of her hand and pulls it lightly, prompting her to come out. When she opens the door a little more, the sight that greets him stings his heart. Exhaustion has coloured the skin beneath her eyes purple and her usually ocean blue eyes a matte grey. Her posture is oddly sunken, like she wants to curl into a ball, and her chest heaves as she breathes heavily. She looks truly miserable, and yet she’s still a sight for sore eyes, as she stands there, wearing one of his white Prada shirts and…

‘Are those… my boxers?’ he asks her with a raised eyebrow and a pleased smile. She looks down to where his eyes have just landed. ‘Well, yeah, I couldn’t- my own underwear…,’ she trails off. ‘I’ve lined them with paper towels, just so I don’t, you know. I hope it’s okay.’ She looks strangely sheepish. He leans over to place a kiss on her forehead. ‘Oh, it’s more than okay. It’s sexy,’ he tells her with a grin. ‘And quite cute, to be frank.’

She chuckles, replacing the ache in his chest with a pleasant, buzzing warmth. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever heard you use the word “cute” before,’ she points out, looking up at him through her long eyelashes as she leans her forehead against his. He notices the hint of a smile on her lips, and his own smile grows wider. ‘Well, you’ve never worn my underwear before,’ he reminds her, nuzzling her nose. ‘Mmm, that is true.’ Her voice is nothing but a whisper as she leans just an inch forward to get a kiss from him, which he happily he gives her.

‘Why don’t you draw yourself a nice, hot bath,’ he proposes, booping her nose. Then an image from Jaws invades his mind, and warily, but with a glint in his eyes, he adds, ‘Unless that would make a true bloodbath.’ She pulls away from him, slowly but purposefully. Untangling their hands, she crosses her arms across her chest (he tries not to notice how it makes her cleavage deliciously peek out behind his hardly buttoned shirt). She glares at him with a look which, historically, means they will be communicating exclusively in scoffs, snorts, death stares and well, I am truly sorry for whatever it is I’ve done but can we please forget about it and go back to being a dynamic duo’s the rest of the day. With a short yet undoubtedly disapproving shake of her head, she snatches the breakfast bag from his hand before slamming the door in his face. ‘Detective, I-’ he stammers as the gush of air hits his front, possibly making his yet to be tamed bed hair look even more scandalous.

He hears the rustling and crinkling of paper as she takes out her breakfast. ‘List,’ she demands sharply with her mouth full—and not in the way that had him gripping the sheets till his knuckles turned white last night. By the sound of her voice, he’ll need to do right by her if he wishes to ever experience that again.

‘Yes, darling, I’ll do nothing but my best,’ he promises her, casting a last glance at the list in question before folding it neatly into his pocket. He starts walking down the hall when the sound of his name makes him turn on his heels to face the door. He senses another reprimand and braces himself, softly offering a simple ‘Detective?’ in response.

‘Thank you.’ Her voice is sweet and apologetic, all aggravation suddenly gone.

‘What on-’ he mumbles under his breath, completely bewildered by her emotional U-turn. He’s wise enough not to comment on it, however, smiles instead, glad he can be of use, and playfully, yet still in a tone that assures her he means no harm, says, ‘Well, it’s the least I can do for my menstruating partner.’

‘Please stop saying “menstruating”,’ she tells him between bites, sounding a little brassed off again. He considers asking her why but decides against it, responding with a simple ‘Noted’ instead.

He hears the shower start running and decides to depart, wanting to be back before she’s done. ‘Alright then, off I go on my quest!’ he sings out, hoping it’s loud enough for her to hear over the shower spray, but the water stops and she calls out a ‘what?’. She has probably already stepped into the shower cabin, adorning his bathroom with all her wet and naked glory. Oh, to be a marble tile on the wall, getting an unobstructed view of her exquisite br-

‘Did you say something, honey?’ she calls again when he hasn’t replied. It’s not the first time she uses the term of endearment, but it still makes warmth pool low in his stomach. He’s so smitten—not a cell in his body can deny that anymore. Especially not the part of his body that’s currently straining his tailored slacks.

He clears his throat and shamelessly adjusts himself.

‘Hm? No, I was just announcing my exit. Try not to bleed to death while I’m gone, will you?’

‘I can’t- That’s not possi-’ she stammers behind him as he makes his way to the elevator, grabbing his jacket as he walks past the bar. Before she can finish whatever protest she’s trying to enounce, he’s already in the elevator, sending a text to Linda:

What in the ever-living Hell does ‘pads with wings’ mean?

Read part 2, ‘Granniest Panties’, here

[and-justice-for-zoisite]

𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕜 𝕨𝕖𝕖𝕜 (𝒟𝒶𝓋𝒾𝒹 𝟪 𝓍 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇)

Summary: It’s that god awful time of the month for you, and it seems to hit harder and worse considering that Meredith Vickers is unable to empathize with you and makes you do some harsh chores that make your pain worse. But at the end of the day, there’s a certain android boy waiting for you. And even though he’s never dealt with such a situation, he’s certainly willing to try.

Original Request:  So, I was thinking about a david 8 x reader, where she's in pain because of her period, and she needs some comforting, so David decides to be brave and cuddle her. Then our android sweetheart tries to distract her by kissing her cheeks, and ends up kissing her lips for the first time...lots of fluff follows. Thank you @the--queen-of-hell​ for making this request, I very much enjoyed writing it!

Warnings: Mentions of periods, otherwise just fluff

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a rather long day for you. A long, and painful day. That was why it felt more amazing than usual when you were able to flop onto your somehow comfier bed in a fresh set of pyjamas after having showered off the stress of the day. Yet, some pain still lingered. Like the pain in your abdomen due to cramps that felt like someone was repeatedly punching you in the gut, and the migraine that made your head throb. 

Why did you have severe cramps and a migraine? Well...that was because it was that time of the month where the sharks in your uterus tore up whatever they could find, and you suffered because of it. And who made it worse? Bloody Meredith Vickers.  Since you’re not only a biologist, but also an advanced mechanic, Vickers had you fix something on the ship, even though technically it wasn’t your job. How did that go? Well...

~

“(L/n), I need you to go check out the main power source of the ship, there’s been some system failures and we believe that a malfunction somewhere in the main system is the cause,” Vickers explained as she walked into your room, seeing that you hadn’t gotten up from your bed just yet. You looked up groggily, having been awake but too sore to get up and do anything. “With all do respect, Miss Vickers, technically that isn’t my job,” You started, placing your hands on your abdomen, “I’m a biologist on this expedition. And besides, I’m on my period. Go ask Janek or something...”  When you rolled over to face away from her, Vickers felt her brow twitch as she began losing her cool. “Janek can’t fix it, he already tried. And if anyone else tried, not only are they likely to electrocute themselves, but they’re also at risk of wrecking the entire ship and killing us all. As for your period situation,” She kicked a piece of clothing on the floor, “deal with it.” You could’ve easily ripped her head off right then and there, considering that your period filled you with rage and that rage filled you with the motive to kill if provoked.  When you did nothing for a moment, Vickers thought you’d been ignoring her and got a little more mad. “That’s a direct order and if you fail to follow it there will be consequences-” “Alright, alright!! Quit pestering me I’ll bloody do it you-” You cut yourself off before you could call her anything that’d get you in a bad place.  Even though Vickers was mad that you were clearly about to cuss her out, she let it slide, considering your hormones were out of whack, and simply walked off. 

And that was how your super cruddy day started off.

~

Some time in the middle of it all, while you were half way through fixing up the main power source, David, the android on board, came to visit you with food and drink since he knew you’d been working hard. David wouldn’t have done that for any of the other crew members, but that was because you were the only one who treated him as a valued equal - a lot of the time you even treated him above yourself, considering the silly little crush you had on him. But what you weren’t aware of was the fact that he very much shared those feelings, and would do perhaps anything for you.

So, when you saw him arrive in the main power source room, looking perfect as usual, you almost dropped your wrench on your face considering you were working on your back from a creeper, like one would on a car. You wished you weren’t so sweaty in that moment, but that never seemed to matter to the lovely android. 

“I hope I’m not interrupting, Miss (Y/n). I thought you could use the replenishment, you’ve been working rather hard,”  He said in his usually smooth british accent, yourself smiling sweetly as you rolled out from underneath the machinery and sat up to take a breath. He always called you Miss, rather than Dr, and you assumed it was a form of endearment.  The pain in your lower stomach was severe in that moment, but you managed to hide it. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a sweetheart, David?” You asked in huffs, the man raising his brow slightly as he picked up the glass of ice water he had prepared for you. “You’d be the first one to. In fact I’ve never been called an endearing name in my entire life,” He said as he handed the glass to you, yourself taking it gratefully. “Cheers love,” You thanked before taking a decent few gulps of it, David seemingly zoning out while he watched you. That was when he remembered that he’d brought food for you too, and forced himself to snap out of it as he picked up the tray. “I made sandwiches for you as well. They’re (your fave sandwich filling), I hope they are to your liking,” He said as he held the tray out for you. You could’ve burst into tears right then and there from how loved you felt by the one person on this ship that wasn’t supposed to love at all. But you managed to hold it down as you smiled up at him and took one of the slices.  “God, what did I do to deserve you?” You asked, the man tilting his head slightly at the statement as you began devouring the tasty food. “What do you mean by that?” He asked.  “I mean...you’re always doing such lovely things for me, and it’s not like anyone else was gonna bring me stuff like this. I...I was just wondering, why?”  David stared at you for a moment, simply in his thoughts. He knew exactly why he took care of you the way he did, but he never thought you’d be curious to hear why. “Well...it’s quite simple, really. You’re so kind to me, and for some strange reason I don’t receive that same kindness from anyone else on the ship. I’m only returning the favor,” He explained, a small smile gracing his perfect lips.  “That’s pretty silly, don’t you think? They believe that they have the right to treat you like a servant, when really there’s so much more to you than that,” You sighed as you rolled backward slightly on your creeper, “In fact, you’re probably the most human one on this entire ship, which is ironic considering physically you aren’t.” You smiled sweetly in that moment, “I think it’s lovely how you’re so polite to everyone even though majority of them don’t return the gesture.”

The two of you simply stared at each other with sweet smiles, the silence comfortable as you fell into your own thoughts. David really appreciated you, and would honestly do anything for you. It especially made him feel all giddy inside knowing that you thought so highly of him, even though he was an android. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t have a crush on you, and he was always looking for an opportunity to impress you or make you happy.

In the content silence, you felt another sharp pain in your abdomen, and this one you couldn’t hide as you grabbed your stomach and leaned forward with a groan. This concerned David very much, his features changing to worried as he crouched down in front of you and placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Are you alright, Miss (Y/n)?” He asked softly, yourself looking back up to him as you nodded with a sort of cringe upon your face. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine, just period cramps. Do you think you could get me an aspirin, please?”  You almost expected him to cringe in disgust, since the men that’d been in your life prior to now squealed like a bunch of girls when you tried talking to them about your period. But David seemed to immediately understand, in fact he seemed more worried about you. “Are you sure you can work like this? Surely you’re in a bit of pain,” He asked as he placed his other hand on your shoulder. “I’ll be fine. And besides, it’s not like I have much of a choice. Vickers was on my ass all morning about it. It’s best I just get it over and done with so I can rest properly,” You sighed. As much as David wanted to protest, wrap you up in a blanket and cuddle you, he knew you were a strong woman, and with some aspirin, you’d be able to work just as well as you usually did. So he sighed softly, and rubbed your shoulders comfortingly.

“Just let me know if you need anything else throughout the day,” He got up from crouching and stood near the door, “I’ll be right back with your aspirin, Miss.” 

~

So that was your horrible day. And even though you had a relatively comfortable bed underneath you, the cramps remained painful, which was why you had started crying. Now, it wasn’t messy crying, it was just soft sobbing, but it was enough to attract the attention of a certain blonde android boy. I mean, he was already on his way to your room to check on you and make sure you were doing okay,but  hearing you cry softly only gave him more of a motive.

He arrived at your door and slowly opened it. But you were too busy sobbing to realize that anyone was there. So, David set a soft three knocks upon your door, and your head snapped around to see who had interrupted you.

“Are you alright, Miss (Y/n)?” He asked in a gentle voice. You made sure to quickly wipe your tears away as you sat up, nodding as more tears managed to pool up in your eyes. “I-I’m fine David, really. I’m just in a lot of pain,” You tried reassuring, the android’s face shifting into more concern as he slowly approached the bed. He’d never had to deal with a situation like this, but he knew a few tricks. “Here, lye on your side Miss, with your back facing me,” He instructed as he sat on the bed beside you, yourself sniffling as you did as you were told and laid facing away from him. You weren’t sure of what he was doing, and you found yourself questioning it more as you felt the bed sink behind you and you fell against a warm body. David’s body. Your face flushed red as he hooked his legs gently underneath yours and wrapped his arms around your waist, his hands placed on your lower tummy as he seemingly spooned you. Your nerves were going haywire at that point, the butterflies were bouncing around your stomach at a thousand miles an hour and your heartbeat increased a fair bit. Then, he began working a gentle massage into your abdomen, to which you let out a small sigh. “...D-David...” “A gentle massage will help encourage blood flow and relieve the cramps temporarily,” He explained just above a whisper, “are there any other symptoms? Such as a migraine or lower back pains?”  You shook your head, and David smiled sweetly and slid his hand under the fabric of your shirt (in a fluffy way, this is not a smut!) and continued massaging below your bellybutton. And as your cramps began subsiding, you closed your eyes and intertwined your legs with David’s, pressing your head back into the crook of his neck as you metaphorically melted against his touch. 

While you were thoroughly enjoying the attention you received, David didn’t think it was enough to make you feel better. You were still sniffling, and sometimes a random tear would fall down your cheek. He wanted to distract you from the pain, but he was at a loss at how.  That was when he took one hand from your tummy and began subconsciously brushing the hair from your face, simply admiring your beautiful skin and the way it became glossy and red with your tears. Then, he leaned in a little, and took in the scent of your hair. It smelled so lovely, like floral and sweet fruits, and it almost seemed to hypnotize him. He wanted to kiss you, just politely on the cheek. Maybe it’d distract you, make you feel better or at least happier. 

So, shyly, David began leaning down, his lips puckered slightly as he prepared to kiss your cheek gently. But perhaps, that’d been wrong timing. Because what he hadn’t met was your cheek, but seemingly your lips instead. This turn of events happened because you had turned your head toward him, hoping to ask him a question.  And even though this wasn’t what he had expected to do, he still continued with his actions. The kiss he pressed to your lips was a very sweet and loving one, and left you dazed momentarily. It only lasted a few moments, before he pulled away, your faces still being only a few centimeters from touching as he stared down into those beautiful eyes of yours.

“...my apologies, Miss. I...I didn’t mean to-” He was cut off when you shuffled onto your back and placed a hand on either side of his face, pulling him down and kissing him properly this time.  David felt his stomach twist in surprise when you did this, and he was wide eyes for a moment. But once the shock wore off, he melted into the kiss, placing his hand on the bed beside you to balance himself.  Both of you had been wanting to do this for a rather long time, and now that you were lying in bed, kissing each other like nothing else mattered, you could’ve sworn you were dreaming. But it seems that dreams can come true.

When the two of you pulled away, you took a moment to simply admire the look on each other’s faces. Your eyes looked as foggy as your mind was in that moment, your fingers of your left hand moving along the skin of his face to brush the hair that hung over David’s eyes out of his face. And as for David, he was simply taking a moment to process what had just happened, considering that this wasn’t exactly the turn of events he was expecting. But even so, he managed a sweet smile and a quiet sigh.

“...you’re a rather good kisser, Miss (Y/n),” He whispered, yourself chuckling breathily as your left hand traced back to it’s original position. “...just (Y/n) is fine, David,” you sighed, the blonde lowering himself back down properly onto the bed, still on his side.

Once he had, you wrapped your arms around his slender figure and rested your head in the crook of his neck, David returning the action and snaking his arms back around you as your legs intertwined with each other’s.

And even though occasionally a cramp would still jab at you from the inside, the fact that you were cuddled up to your favorite android boy made it tolerable. 

And you knew very well, that you’d never suffer while you were on your period ever again.

~

A/N: I’m sorry if this sucks, I really tried. 

[thehoneybuzz]

Chasing Baker

My Nana was my greatest adversary.

In an otherwise charmed life, Nana was an immovable force and the only legitimate challenger to my willpower. Not without the warmth one would expect from a grandmother, Nana could be sharp - like a sun-warmed pane of glass. Lesser hearts might have bent to me when I requested accommodation - but not Nana. Nana set a firm bedtime, insisted on efficient tooth brushing, and rather than negotiate with hair tangles, made short work of them in single, swift wrenches when brushing your hair. No nonsense. When you stayed with her - in one of two twin beds in a room made precisely for grandchildren - you often found yourself in bed with the lights out, with no real memory of having gotten there, swept away in the tide of your sheets. Nana was uncompromising, and no arena was more suited to our mutual stubbornness as the dinner table.

I grew up a notoriously picky eater. After a weekend at my Uncle Jerry's, my mom received a hardcover copy of "The Strong-Willed Child" from him as a gift. He had spanked me for not eating chicken nuggets. As evident by its title, the book was meant to coach my mother on parenting strategies for mitigating my innate obstinance. This would not be the only copy of the book my mother received. Though, I think she could have written one by the time I turned 4. I simply refused to eat the things I didn't like, and that was a long list.

A relative once applauded - clapped his hands together in joy- upon learning that I had graduated from having the crusts cut off my bread to full-blown sandwich eating. The peanut butter and honey sandwich was my signature dish and an absolute staple. I'd like to say I've grown out of it - and I've certainly grown having tried llama steak in Peru, lamb heart at the table of a Lebanese family, and Greenland shark in an Icelandic cafe - but it took me a long time to let go of my habits and permit myself to try, and it took some coaxing. My preferences ran deep.

My diet from ages six through eleven included Eggo waffles, peanut butter and honey sandwiches, an assortment of cereals, a handful of specific fruits and vegetables, and the occasional steak when mom thought my iron was low. My mom - on the advice of a pediatrician who told her that if she force-fed me, I'd develop an eating disorder - catered to this preference. Nana did not. They must have been seeing different pediatricians.

Nana took the clear your plate approach - The approach driven by reward and consequence. Finish your plate, cookies delivered. Fail to try, become hungry and hungrier still as dessert passes you by. I took to swallowing food whole, and my mom took to sending me with granola bars on visitations. She'd line the interior of my suitcase like we were smuggling drugs. I'll admit it was an unusual form of contraband, but the measure seemed necessary in a divorced child's duplicitous world. What my mom saw as nourishment, my Dad might see as undermined parenting strategy even under the best of circumstances - which they often weren't. I was hungry, so decided it best to keep things a secret and wrappers out of the trash.

Despite Nana's apparent best efforts, I avoided the eating disorder. Thanks to my mom, I avoided most foods until my early 20s. I don't know who was right. What I know for certain is that I was loved.

When I sat down with Nana after my trip to Mt. Baker, she clutched her heart as she said. "Ally - to think about you as this little girl - and that you would only eat peanut butter and honey sandwiches - to think of you climbing mountains…" she shakes her head, "… well I just can't believe it."

I started to laugh and asked her, "Want to know the best part?"

She nodded, smile in her eyes, full of that sunny warmth - playful and kaleidoscopic.

"I ate peanut butter and honey sandwiches up and down the side of that mountain, Nana," I told her, laughing, and then we laughed together. Growing up is fun, I thought, especially in moments like this.

Laughing with your grandmother is a gift you receive in exchange for time, and it is a beautiful gift indeed. Here is a woman who bathed you, clothed you, fed you - and by the time you're old enough to understand the magnitude of the life she held before all that, she is often gone. I'm lucky to have this time. Nana is 90 years old now, and my mother's mother passed at 74. I never got to have the conversations I wanted to have with my grandmother, who died. To ask her questions like, 'Who were you?' 'What lifetimes made up the love you gave so effortlessly away?'

There is something about mountain climbing that makes you consider those kinds of questions in real-time. There is something about mountain climbing that makes you feel as if you are in the process of 'becoming.' So when, at the parking lot of Grandy Creek Grocery, I met my fellow climbers and our guides - there was a feeling of anticipation and nervousness about who I'd be sharing that story with. Dropping me off, my mom described it like the first day of kindergarten. The first person I met was Sharon.

I had been worried about Sharon. Weeks before, on the pre-trip Zoom call, she stood out from the digital crowd as the most visibly senior person there. Sharon did not look old - she looked undoubtedly the oldest. I think this is an important distinction - particularly to Sharon. I remember thinking - "I hope she is not on my trip because I'm worried she will show me down." A very judgmental thought and the universe saw to its reckoning. Sharon surprised the hell out of me.

She paced the parking lot, and I jumped out of my rig to greet her. We quickly began commiserating. Baker would be her first mountain. I had Mount St. Helens under my belt, but it's not much in the way of experience. We talked about our training plan, recounting long drives to taller places. Sharon was from Wisconsin, and she had to drive 45 minutes to get to peaks at 3,000 - the same as me in Eastern Washington. We had a lot in common. Where I ran, she had been hiking with weight and jogging. Sharon wasn't afraid of hard work. On our drive to the trailhead, I learned that she had just lost 75 pounds last year. I learned later that when Sharon signed up for this climb, she hadn't told anyone in her family she was doing it. She was 62 years old and had never once traveled alone. What on earth possessed her to climb a mountain? I'd be afraid of that question, too.

Sharon eventually fessed up to her family and made the trip official. That's how we found ourselves on the side of a mountain together. I'm embarrassed to have been so fundamentally wrong - but my confession is not without meaning, and I learned an important lesson. Never underestimate a Sharon.

When Melissa, our guide, described Mt. Baker for the first time, she called it by its indigenous name, Komo Kulshan. She then gave us its epithet - "The Great White Watcher." Having now met Kulshan face to face, I can tell you that's precisely how he feels. The summit looms as you navigate through the trees. Stoic in the face of the wilderness that surrounds him. Ice cold, he waits. In the Lummi language, he's called 'white sentinel.' He is persistent, vigilant, and watching.

I focused my nervous energy on preparing to meet this mountain by learning what I could about him. I learned that Mt. Baker is 10,781 feet tall, an active volcano, and the second most glaciated mountain in the continental united states (Rainier's got it beat, and you don't count Alaska). It's a formidable mountain, known - as nearly all alpine environments are - for its quickly changing conditions and the perils of its geology. This all, somehow, frightened me less than the thought of meeting Melissa Arnot-Reid. Her legend loomed not in the Cascades - where only a single peak resides above the threshold of 14,000 feet by which the Rockies measure their formidable "fourteeners." Melissa's legend loomed as large as Everest, on who's summit she has been six times - the only American woman to summit without the use of supplemental oxygen and survive. 29,032 feet. Melissa was someone I wanted to learn from, and I was scared shitless of her by reputation.

Suffering a bit of social awkwardness around celebrities, I prepared to meet Melissa by seeking to learn nothing about her at all. The antithesis of my mountain strategy - I told myself our experience would be what it was when we met on the mountain. My job was to learn - to ask my questions courageously - and be vulnerable and bold in seeking truth. I spent a fair bit of time wondering if she might be an ass hole, too. The age-old adage, "don't meet your heroes," drifted in and out of my mind.

In the last 15 minutes of our drive to Grandy's, my mom started reading Melissa's Wikipedia page aloud to me as I navigated the road, undoing months of my concerted preparation. I let her continue, greedy for information. "It says she trains by depriving herself of things - that she'll go without food and water."

"Probably a good idea if you're ever going to be stuck on the side of a mountain without it," I told her. I braced myself for a response. In the past few months, my mother had a growing sensitivity around topics that might suggest I could die on the side of a mountain. Admitting, so blatantly, that mountain climbing was a dangerous sport left me vulnerable to excessive mothering accompanied by exclamations of "Don't you dare!" Instead, my mom sort of nodded and continued, "I'm surprised her baby came out healthy."

My brow furrowed. I hated my mother for saying it. I had avoided a lecture from the mother of the mountaineer but failed to account for the mother of the daughter aged-almost-thirty. My uterus is a topic of conversation around my mother's table. Apparently, so was Melissas. Not wanting to discuss either, I let my mother's comment go unchecked as she continued to list accomplishments. "This article says she's focused on business, not emotions. That she is an incredible problem-solver." Now her reports felt more like cheating - it felt like an unfair advantage to meet someone armed with publicly available information about them. When you Google "Allyson Tanzer," you won't find much about my disposition under pressure. I told my mom it was time to focus and turned up the music.

When we parked, and I went to introduce myself to Melissa, three things happened. As I introduced myself, she first quickly let me know that she would not be giving out hugs due to the pandemic. Then, taking my hand in a firm grip, Melissa detailed that she and our other guide, Adrienne, had critical guide business to discuss and would be with us in a moment. She reported being thrilled to be meeting us as she quickly dropped my hand. Within thirty seconds, I was apologizing profusely and backing my way into the grocery. What can I say - first time formally climbing mountains, and I wasn't sure of the protocol. I fiddled with a bag of Cheetohs and continued to hope that she wasn't just an ass hole.

I went to the bathroom for something to do and remembered what my mother said. Task-oriented. I figured Melissa probably didn't hate me, after all. Despite my earlier misgivings, I was grateful to know a bit about her character, regardless of how 'honestly' that information was obtained. Thanks, Mom.

Our climb began. We left Grandy's in a caravan and parked near 3000' at the winter routes trailhead. On the first day, you ascend to 6000' and establish camp. You carry about 40 pounds, walking 1 mile and about 1000 vertical feet per hour, stopping for 15-minute breaks in those intervals. Conditions are warm, which means you're doing something the mountaineers call "post-holing" - ramming deep holes (as if for a fence post) into the ground as you step through snow that's washed out underneath. It's slow-going and rigorous. An hour and a half in, Melissa reports that we're standing in the location where she usually takes the first break. Unseasonably warm weather with a heavy snow accumulation has made for an exciting start.

You walk along a canyon ridge formed by a retreating glacier. You realize that time here is not measured in the same cadence that it's known to you. Mountains measure time in millennium, not decades. The formations of rock are carved by years, not minutes. The ground holds a history you can't conceive of - an ancient history of rock and ice. You are constantly struck by feeling small both physically and in your very chronology. I spent the first day happily in awe.

At camp, you maintain - guides (and playfully designated junior guides), boil snow, establish a base, dig a toilet. You assess whether or not you need to poop in a bag and carry it down the mountain with you as you try - for the first time - a rehydrated meal claiming to be chili Mac and cheese. Melissa teaches us how to walk on rope over a glacier. I try to mimic her knots. She redefines your concept of efficiency - breathlessly describing a packing order that accounts for calorie intake, warmth requirements and weight distribution - Every contingency considered. When I win the Ice Ax Rodeo by landing my thrown ax in a particular configuration - all is right in the world. Melissa is a drill sergeant giving instruction. She outlines the next minute - next five minutes - next hour - next day.

Her matter-of-fact nature reminds me of something. When I gave my parents a ride in an airplane for the first time with me as the pilot in command, I provided them near the same briefing as we were parked on the ramp. It ended dramatically with, "And if anything should happen, you have to exit the aircraft first in the following fashion." At which point I launched myself from the plane. I wanted them to be prepared to fight their instincts to protect me. I’m the only pilot on board - and my job is to protect my passengers, no exceptions. They both described a sense of foreboding and peace at the demonstration. It’s precisely how I felt when Melissa explained how she would be rescuing herself from a crevasse. “If you fall, I get you out. If I fall, I get myself out, but I need your help as an anchor to do so.” She took the approach of coaching us in only what we needed for the next challenge. We would learn crevasse rescue on a need to know basis. At Grandy’s, she told us to expect 48 hours of endurance. At camp, we’re at hour 9. She painted a picture of the following day.

"We'll begin between 11, and 2 am. Expect switchbacks up the glacier, a series of flats, and gains over the next hour. In 3.5 miles, we'll gain an additional 2000 feet - meandering a path through the glacier's crevasses, and it will gradually become steeper over time. About 1.5 miles to the summit, we'll hit the Easton glacier culminating in the Roman Wall. Then, because God has a sense of humor, you have a long flat walk to the summit after the steepest portion. All said it will take us between 5-7 hours to the top."

Frankly, it was just about as simple as that.

My eyes opened at 11:50 pm to the sound of movement outside the tent. Melissa had coached us here, too. "You may not be sleeping," she told us as we readied for 'lights out.' Days from the summer solstice, the sun burned brightly above us at 7 pm. "Remember that you don't need sleep; you need rest. That's what you're getting here at camp. You're horizontal; your feet are out of your boots. Close your eyes, and know you're getting what you need." Felt like a lie, but sure enough, with two hours of sleep, I couldn't describe myself as tired.

I did, however, feel cold. Chilly night temperatures had crept into our tent, and dressing for the day was arduous. I knew to keep my clothes in my sleeping bag. It was a trick I learned from a friend made trekking in the Andes for dressing in the cold. I knew to shorten my trekking poles while climbing, thanks to my guide on that same trek. I'd be leaving my trekking poles behind today, though. Ice axes only. We divide into rope teams. The race begins, but there's no starting pistol - only wind.

Fifteen minutes into our climb and we're struggling to find the rhythm. I'm still shaking the bleariness of the cold. The rope between climbers takes on an interesting dynamic. While it connects you to your fellow climber, it also isolates you from them. You have to maintain a certain distance away from one another while maintaining the same pace. It's a dance with crampons on in glacial ice - a delicate dance indeed - and it's where climbing feels like a team sport. You're all in it together.

Voices rang out in sequence like a game of telephone - one of our team would need to climb down. We said short goodbyes and waited as Adrienne (guide) descended with climber to camp. We were lucky - we hadn’t been climbing long which meant Adrienne could climb down and back to rejoin her rope. Guide redundancy is a safety net when groups of climbers work together.

Darkness continued. We continued. As you persist, darkness seems to persist along with you. In the first hour, it grows heavy. Your world begins and ends at the light of your headlamp, and that's where you find it—your rhythm. Crampons crunching, breath steady, and the gentle swish of your layers create a sort of timpani, a medley of percussion sounds. Clink, brush, crunch, and clink, brush, crunch, as ax bites ice, the movement of your clothes, and the toe of your boot kicks crampon into snow propelling you forward. There isn't much to think about in this grinding meditation. You're grounded in tugs from ahead or behind you as you march, slowly up. You can count steps, miles, feet of elevation - whatever keeps you moving. Whatever keeps you going up.

Moments before sunrise, we would lose another on our team. I listened to Melissa coach her. "What we're headed to is going to be harder than what we've just done. If how you are feeling is taking away from your ability to focus on your next step - I can only tell you that it's not going to get easier from here." That's when I saw the decision on her face. Another round of goodbyes - this one a bit more somber. She had worked so hard.

The decision to descend is a difficult one, but it’s one of the most important you can make. There are steep consequences to being in over your head in a place so remote. The summit is a siren, beware. Melissa - aware of the remaining teams intention to summit - advised us to plug our ears as she told the descending climber the Sherpa belief that a mountain won't let you summit for the first time if it likes you. Mountains bring you back. Further, she coached, the decision to go down can lift an entire team's chance of success if you feel you're a liability. Recognizing yourself and your limitations truthfully is a mountain in itself. That's the summit this person made in her decision to descend.

Like a good Agatha Christie novel, our list of characters dwindled. We added layers and continued - five of the original eight. Melissa was right, again. After we lost the second climber, our ascent became a proper climb. From that point forward, if anyone decided to turn around - we would all have to. There was only one remaining guide, and she had to protect all her climbers, no exceptions - me in the cockpit all over again.

She didn't show it, but 62-year-old Sharon was genuinely frightened. She had realized the same thing I did. If she didn't make it - no one would. Sharon kept climbing. Remember when I was worried she would slow me down?

When the sun starts to rise, everything begins to feel possible again. I don't mean to say that things were hopeless, just that with the sun comes energy and a sense of renewal. Color returns to the landscape, and you can begin to be able to measure your progress concretely. The mountain casts a shadow across the earth, stretching miles. You can't believe that you are contained within that shadow, on the face of such a giant who stands so impossibly tall. Melissa stood there, and I took her picture.

She had turned out to be not an ass hole at all. Where I sought to be her student, she aspired to teach - at once brilliant and kind. Her stride - her sport - a work of art. The precise art of what she calls slow, uphill walking. Her shadow and the shadow of the mountain impressed upon me the power of legends.

As the Roman Wall came into view - I knew we had it. We short rope in and make one last push. If Mt. Baker is a joke from God, the ending of the Roman Wall is its punchline.

Atop the incline awaits a long, easy walk to a haystack peak some few hundred yards in the distance. I was bubbling with emotion as my heart rate settled and the view became clear. There wasn't much difference between where we stood and where we were going. We dropped our packs, unroped, and ran up the summit. I was in tears.

Melissa broke her no-hugs-in-the-pandemic rule and celebrated us each in turn. I snapped countless photos and spent each frozen moment smiling. I pulled Melissa and Sharon in close. I had felt something on my heart and only needed a moment's bravery to share it.

I started awkwardly.

"I'd like to say something to you and Sharon," I muttered, barely audible over the wind, as I tugged on Melissa's sleeve. I grabbed Sharon's arm and pulled her in too. I don't remember the exact thing I said or the exact way in which I said it. I remember pausing to make sure I got it right and wondering for a long time if I managed to do so.

I told them that I had come to the mountain expecting to be impressed by one person. Melissa promised an impressive education - on which she delivered. She is of that rare quality - the kind who’s presence improves you. I came to Baker with that expectation, I confessed, I expected Melissa. I paused before telling Sharon, her gloved hand in mine, “You?” I laughed nervously. “I wasn’t expecting. A 62-year-old woman….” I nodded back to Melissa, “And you, the mother of a 3-year-old…” I didn’t want to get this wrong. “You are two people who our society labels and confines. Yet, here you are - on top of a mountain. I have to tell you….” I was choked up in earnest here and struggled to continue.

"It matters.” I said. “What you do matters. It matters to have an example of what is possible. Both of you have provided that example to me and women like me. Thank you." I sobbed. "I am so grateful for it and grateful for you." Melissa smothered me in her jacket as she embraced me, once again, in a hug. Pandemic be damned. My tears froze. While I expected a "There's no crying in mountaineering" a la Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own (it was a climb of mostly women, after all) the admonishment never came.

Sharon grabbed hold of me next and we shared the alpine view. Before I knew it, we were the last two on the summit. The wind howled a steady cheer. Celebrations concluded, it was time to leave. I stayed for just a moment longer, watching Sharon as she left. They don't make anything more beautiful than a mountain, and it's a view worth savoring. I descended, joyfully, to my team.

I didn't bury Jake up there. In Ashes to Ashes, I told the story of taking my old farm dog's remains to the top of my first volcano. He's not so much a good luck charm as he is an omen of protection. I don't need luck as much as I need safety, and he serves his duty well. Jake stayed with me through our descent to camp. I needed a little protection coming down off the Roman Wall, I thought. I wanted him close until we were off the glacier. He lays now at the foot of my tent—a very good place for a very good dog.

There's a natural mindfulness to climbing. I often find myself living in the present step - not thinking about the route that lies below. You forget in moments that the trip up is accompanied by an equally long and perilous journey down. From the summit, your journey is far from over. Yet, time flies by even as you stop to admire the steam vents. The rainbow that surrounds the sun refracts joy and color the same.

You reach camp, celebrate, pack up. Miles and thousands of feet remain even from there. That's when you realize it's ending and when I realized I didn't want it to end.

We spent the next few miles getting to know each other in earnest, savoring time and mountain views, chatting in the way of long-form hikers - about the nature of things and through storytelling. Melissa regaled us with vulnerable truths and comedic parables. We laughed. I kept sipping at the wells of knowledge around me, drinking in the moments. Laughter distracted from hunger, from wet feet, and from the dull and dim realization that all good things must come to an end. We made our way to the bottom of the mountain. Just like that - we say goodbye.

Sharon drove me back to Grandy's. We chitter like school girls - adrenaline and nostalgia collide in our post-climb delirium. We talk about the future. I realize that we are good friends. I am humbled by just how wrong a person can be to believe something about someone for no good reason.

Mom picks me up, and with her embrace my adventure is over. I’ve come full circle - safe and sound, parked in the lot of Grandy Creek Grocery.

Melissa found us there and knocked on our window.

"Your daughter is really special. The MOST special,” my hero and friend told my mom. Mom beamed with a special pride reserved exclusively for mothers of strong-willed daughters. I had been misreading things - the adventure had only just begun.

There are eight years between Melissa and I. I’m not sure I’ll be chasing Everest in that time, but I know I won’t be finished. I’ve got thirty-three years to catch Sharon at 62. In the mountain blink of sixty-one years, I’ll be as old as my Nana and I hope at least half as wise. Good thing there are so many years - for there is so much left to climb.

[genoshaisforlovers]

Reproductive health has become one of the major political topics of our time and I see many feminists, usually referred to as "white feminists" and "TERFs" who are bewildered at the fact that old men don't understand how ridiculous it seems that they are making life and death impacting laws over specific body parts that they don't even have.

I understand the logic behind this but let me explain how these kinds of things work

If you have a uterus can get your period try to imagine you don't. You don't have to try to imagine you have penis, simply try to imagine if you only about menstruation as well as the average guy and then imagine if someone explained it to you

For one week every month your hormone levels will drop causing the lining of one of your organs to be shed and for that entire week it will come out of your genitals along with a constant flow of blood. Sometimes working lining sticks together in a blood clot and you are constantly passing them at different sizes. Gross but it actually seems much harder when you factor in the effect hormones and blood loss has on someone. Cramping, headaches, nausea, diarrhea, anemia, insomnia, and those are just the most common symptoms people have.

And as soon as it stops your body heals itself in the best way I possibly can for you to give birth to a child and if you don't get pregnant be doing it again next month. Adding to the frustration is has physically you also live in a world where people judge you as abnormal to a point that it will limit how successful you'll be in every aspect of your life. It's so shameful that you do everything you possibly can to hide it from everyone.

You hide your tampons, freak out over a little bit of blood on your pants, make it look like blue Gatorade on commercials so most people grow up thinking all those pads were for people who were incontinent.

Yes, it would be great if we had equality but we don't. For whatever reasons the people who can grow a working penis are in charge. You simply have to try harder. And from most men's perspectives actually have a little bit of involuntary privilege already because menstruation is kept in whispers and it's created a culture where because women are looked down upon because of things like having a uterus people pamper them. Women have an excuse to get out of anything and the only way to prove it to a man would be to put the two of you in a sexual situation. Life is generally easier for women because they may have to pay for tampons and whatever else their insurance doesn't cover but they are constantly getting free meals and there'll always be some guy willing to give her anything else she needs. Not that that's okay; that women shouldn't depend on living off of gifts from men even if we all agree on that there's nothing to do about it right this second. Men get more jobs so they can support themselves and the females in their life. Society can't just simply stop until things are figured out and wait for the right people to be in office, it would hurt women as much as men.

I know that this is probably a little hard to admit to but at least to admit to yourself, you can understand how men could feel the way they do and simply be unable to understand everything. You can understand because it's exactly the same way you feel toward disabled people.

Right?

You don't not like disabled people. You know disabled people, some in your family, you broke a leg and spent one summer in a wheelchair so you get it. In fact, you have allergies or "a bit of OCD." Of course you don't know what it's like to be in a disabled body but it's not completely foreign and not even all disabled people are the same so even if you are disabled you can't claim to know what everyone's problems are.

It's not like disabled people have to keep their disability hidden. Everyone knows that there are disabled people and aside from a few crazy people everyone usually tries to help them. People have to use wheelchairs or something obviously have no way to keep that hidden and that sucks but there are also a lot of disabled people who have things you can't see, like their disability is invisible, so they never have to worry about hiding anything because no one's going to really know how much they are suffering just by looking at them. Besides, you know what pain is and we are all human so no one can insist that you couldn't comprehend it because people are people and pain is pain.

And society already does a lot to help disabled people. There is legislation protecting them which was created by people who had no idea what they were talking about, kind of like with abortion legislation, but that legislation is changed all the time even if the only people who get to change it are more people that have no experience with the it.

And they get to stay home. They get to choose not work. They get to have privileges like their own bathroom stall and we all know how comfortable everyone is with who uses which toilet. They even get their own parking spaces but the spaces are right in the front and if anything happened more than often someone would see and do something because it's not like they live in a world cultured by bigotry toward people whose bodies don't work the right way.

And, and, they do get things for free unlike the free things men give women. They can get free meals without feeling degraded and it must be relatively easy to get these males and then shortly people would get at least one for each day of the week. And the lives of disabled people are important so there are definitely a lot of checks and balances in place to keep all this going smoothly. And people are doing it; I'm sure someone in my city is doing it. Housing is also free and it should go just as easily as the meals. Disabled people can get money for rent or free rent in a group home which normal people pay for. It's the normal people of all genders and sexualities to equally support disabled people who were born into a world where society simply wasn't structured to accommodate people like them. Disabled people do get paid less, like literally as low as $0.22 an hour in America, but they also have to work less and of course it would be impossible to live off of such little money and work more, you would never break even let alone survive. So it's like disabled people are all required to be completely dependent on normal people was that they want to or not.  And there's nothing to feel ashamed for for feeling normal; normal is just simply regular, it just means like, the average. Like the degree that society deems acceptable.

Oh, and, not everyone is born disabled. A lot of people aren't disabled until they are adults, and there's not many people living with genetic mutations resulting in disability because they all die pretty quickly which isn't so bad because it's really just putting them out of their misery. It honestly must feel like kind of a relief to the people around when they do die, having to take care of someone like that is really sad. Sometimes families do some horrible things but it can't be that many more disabled children that are murdered in Third World countries like England. Obviously there are some people that aren't going to want to have a disabled child or friend or partner but everyone loves their children and their nice people like you out there and no one has sexual hangups on prevailing social bigotry so it's completely fine.

Don't forget they also get really great healthcare like in Canada or Australia which you don't know all the particulars about, even if you are Canadian or Australian because who really looks into the laws affecting people that aren't like them? And it may be just normal people who have ever been in charge of or changed those laws but people are better than they used to be. People aren't that ignorant or hateful. No one would ignore like, and entire genocide of disabled people aside from the one that happened last year in yet another Third World country, Japan.

And since we are on dark things let me mention everyone has to deal with violence and rape, it can't possibly be that much worse for anyone who is disabled let alone GSM. Bigotry toward disabled people is not so embedded in our culture that assault and rape statistics would be in the 80–90s regardless of whether the person was white or not or a man or not. And you are sure it's not so much of a problem that given how ingrained this bigotry is that the only social identify they can identity as is disabled, that such a low bar with their race, their gender, their sexuality; nothing could be piled on that could make their likelihood of a happy life let alone survive any worse. But they could be so disassociated in society that disabled people (or is it people with disabilities? I can't remember if so whatever) are not seen as human. That raping a disabled person was the legal equivalent to having sex with an animal in some American states

things really aren't that bad unless you live in a bad place. Like, what? Eugenics is still illegal anywhere normal. It was only until three years ago that it became illegal to forcibly sterilize prisoners in California

BTW, your cities pride parade was handicap accessible because you saw handicap so they could obviously get in somehow and if they could get in they could obviously get in and do everything else

BTW part 2, your tweet or post about how not at the women's March, a trump protest, BLM event, wasn't meant for them. It wasn't meant for disabled people. When I didn't mention disability or disabled people I wasn't saying that they deserve what they get, I'm just saying that this particular thing you said wasn't about them. Unless you specifically say it's about them then nothing is about them. It is going to be dealt with, separately. Surely there must be someone helping anyway, who wouldn't help them? More people will help but they are busy with issues that they are a little more familiar about because

like that ugly is an incredibly ableist term given that disabled people had to wear a sign around her neck that said "ugly" because to acknowledge that means you would have to stop saying normal words, words you didn't even know were offensive and that everyone says them and you haven't heard anyone complain about before. It would be inconvenient. Not that disabled people are an inconvenience, this isn't about them. None of this is about them.

One more thing: I get irony but also satire

[ichyhauchiha]

Loose Lipped

—a collab with @torranceblack

Summary: Her inner lets out words and phrases that are too vulgar for her age, much to Sakura’s chagrin.

(Or, where menstruation has a big effect on the way she speaks)

——

Sakura felt wrong. Everything about her was so—wrong, it made her chest ache, eyes heat up, throat dry up and—

And why did her hips have the sudden need to be bent at a peculiar angle to stop the odd feeling from swallowing her whole?

It would definitely be utterly inconvenient for her to have a bathroom break right now, as the closest set of public toilets were kilometres away, and she would not fancy having to dig a hole in the ground and squat over it.

And what ground was there to dig up? She and her team were currently trudging through impossibly long and densely packed grass in hopes of reaching some secluded hut in the middle of nowhere. She was sure someone could hear Naruto from an hour away.

But she was getting desperate. They’d been on the road for hours, the sting in her abdomen never relenting, and if she wasn’t going to have a break in the next ten seconds, she was sure to snap.

Actually, she was quite sure that it’d already happened.

She resisted the urge to twist her body, lift her tunic, and look for the tell-tale signs of blood. Her fingers itched to do so, because the curiosity was just too much. But whenever her hand twitched, she casted a glance at Sasuke, and Naruto, and then Kakashi, and—ugh.

When her mom had given her the Talk—a conversation that made Sakura red all over, decoding the frilly innuendos with whatever scraps she’d overheard at school and connecting the dots—her mother spoke about her monthly cycles as if they were something to be kept a secret. Sakura hadn’t really understood it at the time.

After all, it was only a biological process. Unpleasant, but it was something that happened to anyone who was cursed with a uterus.

But as she swept her gaze from one teammate to another, she began to think that maybe she was starting to understand. It still didn’t really make logical sense, though.

“Hey, Sakura-chan,” Naruto was saying, jabbing a finger into her shoulder. The sudden intrusion and the pungent smell of his sweat made Sakura want to clench her fist.

She willed herself to calm down and think rationally, and after a moment of struggle managed to loosen the tension in her shoulders. But when his finger’s incessant prodding didn’t stop, she once again gritted her teeth and narrowed her eyes.

My arm isn’t your girlfriend, Naruto, that you can keep fingering! Inner Sakura bellowed.

Naruto immediately pulled his hand away from her, cheeks colouring, while Kakashi glanced up from his book to fix her with a curious gaze, and Sasuke’s eyebrows creased.

“What?” Sakura asked, quite bemused, analyzing the various degrees of shock on her male teammates.

Then a realisation smacked her in the face. “Did I—Did I say that aloud?”

“Yes,” Kakashi said, a newfound respect in his tone; “Yes, you did.”

Sakura blanched. She couldn’t even remember what had come out of her mouth, let alone try to figure out how the hell she was going to interact with any of them for the rest of the mission, and most likely for the next five years.

Just— just damn that insistent voice in her head! Even though the thoughts were (probably) purely hers, usually she also did a good job of reining them in, no matter how much she wanted to voice them out loud.

It’s okay, Sakura… stop hyperventilating, this is probably only a one time thing.

She drew a few deep breaths, and realising that her teammates were still staring at like she’d somehow been possessed by a ghost, barked, “Well? What are we waiting for? Weren’t we supposed to try and get there as quickly as possible?”

And upon seeing her sensei’s surprised and confused face, she sneered, a cold wave of uncontrollable absolute fury washing over her. “What happened to not allowed to take breaks, huh, Sensei?”

As soon as the last syllable left her mouth, she slapped a palm to her lips. Now, Kakashi’s only visible eye had completely widened in shock. She glanced at her left, only to see that Naruto was slowly backing away from her, and Sasuke just looked uncomfortable and like he would gladly accept an invitation to a party with everyone he hated present just to get away from her. Sakura managed to spare a moment to feel dejected.

She scrambled. “Oh, um, sorry. I’m just a little easily irritated today… please don’t take anything I say seriously. Just, c’mon, let’s go now so we’ll be able to arrive there on time, and I’m really sorry, Naruto, Kakashi-sensei. And— oh, look! A butterfly!”

Only Naruto turned his head, blue eyes momentarily distracted. But Kakashi’s gaze was unwavering, and Sasuke just looked thoroughly… shook.

Sakura tried not to blush, keeping her eyes straight ahead. And after a moment of intense awkwardness so dense in the air that she swore she could touch, Kakashi shrugged, finally, slipping back into his book. Sasuke simply looked away.

They continued to walk like that, and things kind of returned to the relatively normal.

That was, until Kakashi asked Sasuke if he had his chakra threads ready for setting up the genin-level traps that they had planned to set up.

“Yes,” he told Kakashi, opening his hollister.

“I see.” Kakashi returned, eyes glued on his book, so he clearly was not seeing. “And the tension cables?”

He nodded. “I have to go relieve them, before they can be operational in the traps.”

Kakashi didn’t respond, clearly because he didn’t have a chance to.

Because Sakura was two steps ahead of him, about to open her traitorous mouth, realising with daunting horror exactly what was going to spill out of her.

“You boys need to relieve your tension a lot more often these days, I see,” she said, voice crass, and displaying none of the internal struggle of what the hell are you doing, stupid mouth please stop no don’t please!

Everyone went silent all over again.

If she had been embarrassed then, she was mortified now, smacking a hand to her large forehead, loud enough to startle a murder of crows, biting her lips down hard, eyes screwed shut, unwilling to see the reactions of anyone.

Seriously, where did these phrases even come from? Her mouth seemed to suddenly adopt a mind of its own and run away with it. This wasn’t happening ten minutes ago. Was it because of her period? Sakura had heard Ino talk of mood swings and bellyaches… but was speaking her mind one of the symptoms?

Her frantic mental panic was suddenly interrupted by a voice that seemed to come from right beside her.

“...it’s supposed to be healthy?” A meek, empuzzled voice mumbled, the statement sounding more like a tentative question.

Her eyes automatically snapped open and her head swiveled around just in time to see Sasuke turn his head, pointedly looking away from her. His eyes were focused on some kind of bush in the distance and his neck was steadily turning red.

But she didn’t miss his wide eyes, as if he, himself was shocked to hear that sentence escape from his mouth.

And for a long time, Sakura stared.

Kakashi’s eyes had strayed away from his book again, and, Sakura could feel the intensity of his gaze on their backs, all while Naruto’s face was bleached white.

Finally, Kakashi let out a droll snort, burying his nose in his orange paperback again, and Naruto doubled over, clutching his tummy and wheezing, wiping tears from his eyes.

Sasuke barked a curse or two at the chortling blond, but the bite of his words was lost due to the slur and redness of it all.

Sakura had long since forgotten to breathe, much less talk, so she settled on just glaring at them both.

And as Sasuke marched forward, she could only dumbly follow, mind racing.

She couldn’t wait for the day to end.

[douxlen]

IVF Changed America. But Its Future Is Under Threat

New Post has been published on https://douxle.com/2024/08/10/ivf-changed-america-but-its-future-is-under-threat-3/

IVF Changed America. But Its Future Is Under Threat

In February, a horrified Elizabeth Carr scrolled through headline after headline about a pause on in vitro fertilization (IVF) procedures in Alabama. The Alabama Supreme Court had ruled that frozen embryos have the legal rights of children, a decision that meant fertility providers could feasibly face prosecution if they destroyed one. Rather than take that risk, some fertility clinics halted IVF services entirely.

Carr, who in 1981 became the first baby in the U.S. born using IVF, felt like “an endangered species.” When Carr was born, IVF—a process of fertilizing eggs outside a woman’s body, then implanting a resulting embryo in her uterus—was new and largely unknown. Carr’s parents, who desperately wanted children but struggled to have them naturally, were willing to face public scrutiny and repeatedly travel from their home in Massachusetts to a pioneering clinic in Virginia to try the cutting-edge procedure. IVF’s success for the Carrs led not only to their daughter’s historic birth, but also compelled Elizabeth to become an advocate for reproductive rights when she grew up. Over those recent days in February, when patients in Alabama were shut out of fertility clinics, Carr acutely felt the importance of her work. Moments like those, she says, are “why we advocate so loudly.”

After public outcry and bipartisan pushback, Alabama lawmakers quickly passed protections for IVF providers, and services resumed. But IVF is still under attack.

Despite the backlash, judges in Alabama declined to reconsider their controversial ruling. And more than a dozen other U.S. states have laws in place that could be interpreted as bestowing personhood rights on an embryo, even if it has not yet resulted in a pregnancy. Courts in other states haven’t yet applied these laws in ways that directly threaten IVF—although Louisiana law forces fertility providers to ship embryos out of state for destruction—but the possibility is there if the wrong case comes before the wrong judge, says Rebecca Reingold, an associate director at the O’Neill Institute for National and Global Health Law at the Georgetown University Law Center.

Right now, it is politically unpopular to attack IVF, a technology that has given life to millions of people and hope to some of the one in six adults worldwide with infertility. Only 8% of U.S. adults actively oppose access to IVF, according to recent polling, and even lawmakers from states that have cracked down on abortion, like Texas, have introduced bills to protect IVF.

And yet, in June, Republican senators—including former President Donald Trump’s current running mate, J.D. Vance—voted against a bill that would have established a federal right to IVF care. The same month, members of the Southern Baptist church voted to oppose the use of IVF, a decision that has no legal ramifications but signals a growing willingness among religious conservatives to embrace prenatal personhood concepts that effectively place IVF in the same category as abortion.

How did we get here? And where are we going? 

Growing anti-IVF sentiment

The concept of prenatal personhood isn’t new, but it has historically been unpopular. In a 2013 legal journal article, reproductive-rights expert Maya Manian argued that’s because “public concern over the ‘side effects’ of personhood laws”—such as infringing on fertility care, contraception access, and women’s health care more broadly—“seems to have persuaded even those opposed to abortion to reject personhood legislation.” It was, in other words, a step too far for most people.

In a relatively short span of time, however, the idea has gone from “radical or fringe” to one that is gaining ground, Reingold says. It has even transcended the anti-abortion movement, with ex-spouses in some cases using the concept to argue that frozen embryos should be treated by the courts as children, not marital property, during divorce proceedings. As such ideas snowball, IVF may become the next frontier in the battle over reproductive rights, advocates and scholars say.

Read More: The Silent Shame of Male Infertility

“It’s clear to us—it always has been—that the anti-abortion movement has not, and will not, stop their efforts at limiting or banning abortion,” says Karla Torres, who leads the nonprofit Center for Reproductive Rights’ work on assisted reproductive technology. They are “squarely targeting reproductive freedom more broadly,” drawing everything from IVF to contraception into the fray.

If IVF becomes harder to access, it’s hard to overstate the effect for American families and culture at large. About 2% of babies born in the U.S. in recent years—nearly 100,000 annually—arrived with the help of IVF. But the technology’s impact transcends statistics. In about a half century of use, it has reshaped what it means to be a parent, who gets to be one, and how—progress that’s now under threat.

A confusing position

In some ways, IVF is an unlikely target. The technology enables people to have badly wanted biological children, a sentiment that could be seen as having a “conservative traditional family aspect to it,” says Amanda Roth, an associate professor of philosophy and women’s and gender studies at the State University of New York at Geneseo. The importance of having children is a regular conservative talking point—see: Vance recently calling child-free women “cat ladies” without a “direct stake” in the future of America—and IVF makes it possible for more people to do that.

But many in the anti-abortion movement argue that life begins at the moment of conception—that is, the moment sperm fertilizes an egg to create an embryo, either the old-fashioned way or in a laboratory. (A fertilized egg is considered an embryo until the end of the 10th week of pregnancy, when it becomes a fetus.)

To that effect, about a third of U.S. states currently have laws that establish prenatal personhood rights at some stage of pregnancy, usually as a means of curtailing access to abortion by establishing that terminating a pregnancy is tantamount to killing a child. Nine of these laws, such as those in Arkansas, Kansas, and Tennessee, are either sweeping enough or vaguely worded enough that they could put IVF services at risk, according to analysis from the nonprofit Pregnancy Justice provided to TIME. Six additional states, including the Dakotas, Michigan, and Oklahoma, have either feticide or wrongful death laws broad enough to potentially apply to embryos. And there’s always the possibility of new laws: already in 2024, more than a dozen bills focused on prenatal personhood have been introduced across the U.S.

Read More: The Abortion Fight Isn’t a ‘War on Women.’ It’s a War on Poor Women

Greer Donley, an associate professor at the University of Pittsburgh School of Law who studies abortion law, doesn’t think curtailing access to IVF is a “priority” for the anti-abortion movement, but rather an “unfortunate side effect that [anti-abortion advocates] haven’t been able to account for.” It’s a narrative problem: to argue an embryo in a mother’s womb is a person, but one sitting in a fertility clinic freezer isn’t, would weaken the movement’s argument. So, despite the cognitive dissonance, IVF has become “collateral damage” in the abortion wars, Donley believes.

Whether the situation was intentional or not, threats to IVF are real. The Alabama Supreme Court demonstrated as much in February, when it ruled that the state’s Wrongful Death of a Minor Act applies to not-yet-implanted embryos, prompting fertility clinics to pause IVF services for fear that patients or providers could be legally liable if embryos were destroyed in the course of care. That’s not an irrational fear: embryos are destroyed all the time in the fertility world, either purposely (perhaps because a patient no longer wishes to pay for storage, or because the embryo is unlikely to result in a healthy pregnancy) or because of human error.

Accidents happen, says Dr. Gerard Letterie, a reproductive endocrinologist at Seattle Reproductive Medicine who has written about the potential impact of fetal personhood laws on clinicians. An embryo could be destroyed through an innocent mistake, like someone tripping while carrying a petri dish. “If that were to be made a felony charge, that’s a big deal,” Letterie says.

In that scenario, clinics might stop services entirely to avoid putting providers in legal jeopardy, as happened in Alabama. Or, even if services proceeded, providers might stop practicing in states with punitive laws, Letterie says, making access to fertility care as scattershot as access to abortion care. Already, fertility clinics tend to be clustered in wealthier urban areas.

Read More: Why It’s So Hard to Have Your Fertility Tested

Even short of criminal charges for providers, prenatal personhood laws could affect fertility practices, Letterie says. He can imagine policies that limit the number of eggs that may be fertilized per cycle to avoid creating extra embryos that ultimately end up discarded. Such policies—the likes of which have already been implemented elsewhere in the world, such as in Malta—could reduce the odds of patients getting pregnant, since not all embryos are viable, and force people to go through more rounds of treatment, making IVF more expensive and inaccessible than it already is. IVF can already cost upward of $10,000 per cycle without insurance, and coverage varies by state and insurance provider. If costs go up even more, Letterie says, IVF would be inaccessible to virtually everyone who isn’t mega-wealthy or lucky to have excellent health insurance.

Even taking finances out of the picture, threats to IVF have particularly high stakes for certain people. Those who stand to lose the most are those for whom IVF has been revolutionary over its half century of use: namely same-sex couples, people with medical infertility, and those who have decided to have children without a partner or later in life. “The existence of reproductive technologies has opened up new horizons for family life,” says Marcia Inhorn, a medical anthropologist at Yale University and author of Motherhood on Ice: The Mating Gap and Why Women Freeze Their Eggs. In a future without reliable access to IVF, the possibilities of what families can look like might shrink.

A crossroads for U.S. culture

IVF and other fertility services helped break open the narrow definition of family that dominated for so long—a married man and woman and their naturally conceived children—to reveal a whole world of options. A mother can be 45 and single, even if she’s survived cancer or had her fallopian tubes removed or needs to use a donor egg to get pregnant. Same-sex couples can use “reciprocal” IVF to incorporate both of their genetic material. A child can even have three biological parents, a controversial technique that is not currently legal in the U.S. but is in several other countries.

“We’ve seen a significant diversification in how people understand kinship, relatedness, and parenting,” says Sarah Franklin, who directs the Reproductive Sociology Research Group at the University of Cambridge in the U.K. 

This progress has not been equally felt around the world. Compared to the U.S., Europe and Asia have historically employed stricter regulations on the use of reproductive technologies like IVF. Although some of those policies have loosened in recent years, single and older women, trans and non-binary people, and/or same-sex couples are still barred from using reproductive technologies in countries including China, Poland, Turkey, and Italy. And in many poorer countries, including most of the ones in Africa, there is next to no access to IVF at all.

Even in the U.S., where IVF is much more broadly used, reproductive medicine has not wiped out persistent stereotypes and social norms, says Arthur Greil, a professor emeritus at Alfred University in New York and author of Not Yet Pregnant: Infertile Couples in Contemporary America. People are willing to pay IVF’s exorbitant fees, at least in part, because society still emphasizes the importance of a genetic relationship between parent and child, Greil says. And, he says, the knee-jerk assumption is still that a child has both a mother and father. “If you are a single woman with a child, people just assume that you must have been divorced,” Greil says. “It’s become impolite to ask questions like, ‘Where is the baby’s father?’ But people still have the questions.”

Read More: I Was Told I Was Too Fat to Freeze My Eggs

Still, IVF has made what was once impossible—or, at the very least, difficult or done outside the scope of mainstream medicine—possible for many people. Sex, age, and medical diagnoses don’t necessarily close the road to biological parenthood anymore; they are just speed bumps. Reproductive technologies are expensive and imperfect, working only about half the time in the best circumstances and becoming even less of a sure bet among patients who are older or relying on donated embryos. But it has made the possibility of biological parenthood real for swaths of the population that, a century ago, would have had zero or few options. “Fertility medicine has made all of us parents-in-waiting,” says Laura Mamo, a professor of public health at San Francisco State University who studies the intersection of sexuality and medicine.

The trickle-down effects can be seen throughout U.S. culture. Women, no longer so pressured by biological clocks to end their careers just as they’re advancing, now outnumber men in the college-educated workforce, and some employers offer fertility benefits to entice workers to stay longer. People are getting married later, if ever, freed from the need to settle for an imperfect partner to have a family. Queer parenthood is on the rise, and same-sex couples are making fertility equality a new social-justice issue, fighting for fair treatment by insurance providers and clinicians. Scientific advances in fertility medicine, like the ability to pick embryos by sex, are even raising important new bioethical dilemmas.

IVF is not solely responsible for those shifts—Franklin sees it more as a “mirror” reflecting major societal changes and conditions—but it plays a part. Making the technology harder or impossible to access, then, would have profound effects on countless people, particularly those from marginalized groups. And that, Mamo says, may be exactly the point for some people pushing forward the prenatal personhood movement.

“It’s not really about personhood,” Mamo says. “It’s really about this expansion of gender and family and sexuality and autonomy over people’s bodies.”

Fighting back

Already, legislators and reproductive-rights advocates are preparing for battle. In his first speech as Kamala Harris’ vice presidential running mate, Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz reaffirmed his commitment to protecting reproductive health care including IVF, a technology that he and his wife used to have their daughter, Hope. “When Vice President [Harris] and I talk about freedom, we talk about the freedom to make your own health care decisions,” Walz said.

Elsewhere, the Center for Reproductive Rights has for years been working with partner advocacy groups and legislators to expand access to IVF by implementing new state policies around fertility coverage and broadening those that already exist, which are often written in ways that exclude same-sex couples or people who aren’t cisgender. That work is continuing in earnest, Torres says. And in the aftermath of the Alabama decision, lawmakers in at least a dozen states introduced bills meant to either protect IVF providers from liability or specify that embryos outside the human body do not legally qualify as people, according to the Guttmacher Institute, a reproductive-rights nonprofit. A broader package of pro-IVF bills moved forward at the federal level before being blocked by Republican senators in June.

Along with legislative solutions, the reproductive-rights movement is also trying to develop legal defenses that can be used to stop prenatal personhood arguments in court, says Donley, the Pittsburgh law professor. Judges may hold long-term appointments and don’t necessarily need to win elections—which means some can stray from public opinion with fewer consequences than elected officials. “I feel confident right now that the politics of reproductive rights are such that Republican legislatures aren’t going to pass anti-IVF bills,” Donley says. “Republican judges are another story. They get to do whatever they want.”

Read More: ‘I Don’t Have Faith in Doctors Anymore.’ Women Say They Were Pressured Into Long-Term Birth Control

That means people who want to protect IVF access will need compelling legal arguments, says Georgetown’s Reingold. One, she says, could be pointing out the slippery slope of prenatal personhood. If an embryo is considered a person in one legal context, it could be considered one in many: a pregnant person could arguably claim their embryo as a tax dependent, a beneficiary for public assistance, or (in a lower-stakes scenario) another person for the purposes of driving in a carpool lane. Pointing out “consequences for other areas of the law that haven’t necessarily been completely thought through” could be an effective strategy for limiting the influence of fetal personhood arguments, Reingold says.

Another possible consequence: if an embryo is legally considered a person, a pregnant person could feasibly be criminalized for a miscarriage or pregnancy complication, says Kulsoom Ijaz, a senior staff attorney at Pregnancy Justice. Ijaz says she’s “cautiously optimistic” that pointing out such dystopian ripple effects would sway some judges and lawmakers. “It’s a matter of summoning defiant hope so that we…make sure there is no more rollback on people’s most basic civil and human rights,” she says.

There is some precedent to back Ijaz’ optimism. Even in the 2022 U.S. Supreme Court decision that overturned Roe v. Wade, the justices did not take a position on “if and when prenatal life is entitled to any of the rights enjoyed after birth,” which could foreshadow a broader hesitation for judges throughout the U.S. court system to consider questions of legal personhood.

That reluctance may not last forever. But in the meantime, IVF advocates like Carr, the first U.S. person born using the technology, are leaning on some of the “best tools” they have: their own stories, which underscore how life-changing IVF can be for individuals, couples, and families. “I always knew there were people who didn’t agree with how I was born. Around age 10, I realized I can potentially educate people,” Carr says. “I feel very strongly, and I always have, that people fear things they don’t understand.”

The stakes of that education campaign are high. Carr’s birth was a historic first for the U.S. “I do not want to think about who could potentially be the last,” she says.

[fpt8zwx5-blog]

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[justpassing--by]

The strongest woman I know, my super mom

It all started back in June, she was hospitalized due to her non stop bleeding. She undergo D&C and her first blood transfusion happened. They said she have polyps. Weeks later she was back in the hospital, same process - D&C and blood transfusion. They said that it will grow back because she’s still young and removing her uterus is an option the next time it grow back. She was bleeding excessively for months, it never stopped. After his 2nd hospitalization, my brother was diagnosed with rheumatic heart disease with complications in his lungs, liver and kidney. He was hospitalized for a month and she never left his side. Another 1 month after his release, she went to the hospital for check up because the bleeding never stopped but my brother needed her and she knew that she will be admitted the moment she sees her doctors.

It was October night, I came home from school. I saw pops downstairs, I asked where’s mom - typical me. He stared at me for quite a while before pointing upstairs. I know there was something going on bc I saw it in his eyes. I saw my mama in our sala where we all sleep, lying with papers in her hands. “Baket ma?” She stared blankly at me “may cancer daw ako” I froze, can’t process anything. She started crying and explained everything to me. This moment is very vivid in my mind, drastic and so painful. We talked about it numerous times - me, pops and moms. We agreed not to tell it to my sibs and it took some time before mom cheered up and agreed to start the treatment.

Since then it’s been all gloomy for all of us. I was put in charge at home. Everything is painful. All those snapping and mental break down, my anxieties and depression was clouding me all along but I have to stay strong and pretend that I have it all together. Nobody was supposed to know what was happening. Not my sibs, not anyone from school, not my relatives, not even my best friends. I know my mom doesn’t want to spread the bad news so I can’t spill anything to anyone. They both stayed at my nanay’s to avoid long drives from the hospital. She undergo radiation treatment on weekdays and her chemotherapy every sunday. It was a tough battle, she’s been feeling sick, nauseous, and tired and weak. Her immune system keeps on dropping, she goes in and out of the hospital. I used to count the bags of blood being transferred to her, my last count was 17 bags and now its history. I hate taking meds and she’s been taking so many of it from time to time, I’m afraid of blood and needles and i know that my one time blood donation cannot compare to all those bags of blood that was transferred in her system. Her arteries are popping, the bruises in her wrists and at the back of her hands tells the pain inflicted. The physical pain is just a portion, there goes the emotional pain, the psychological pain and the financial stress that comes with it.

This journey taught us that asking for help and reaching out is what we needed most. Whether it be physical help, emotional help, psychological help or financial help, any of this will make our burden light. Not everyone are willing to help, rejection is painful especially from people whom you thought would be there for you through thick and thin. But at least we’ve seen those who are truly on our side, the few people who really cares. My mom told me one painful lesson in life: “marami kang kaibigan ‘pag okay ang lahat, ‘pag masaya kayo, ‘pag may napapala sila sayo. Pero pag wala ka nang maiambag, pag wala nang napapala sayo, mawawala nadin sila, hindi ka na nila kilala. Tignan mo yung ginawa nila sa papa mo ngayon.” Hell it was so painful bc I get to live with this truth every single day. We are all we got and we have to accept that harsh fact. I love my family so much and I’d do everything to protect and make them happy. My parents went through situations I never thought can happen in real life. And now here we are, struggling yet enduring. This year was hard and unbelievable but we made it through.

This is her, stronger than ever before. Fighting the good fight of faith. Defying the odds and proving that not even cancer can stand against our Mighty God. We know for sure that we have already overcome.