#but if im forced to take it seriously the only conclusions i can draw are dark as hell lmfao. sorry

[housewarningparty]

[breathlessly] I need to write a CaitVi smut scene that's going to bum everyone out so bad

[yunhostinyuyu]

bunny, bunny

pairing: friend!yunho x fem reader

gerne: pwp (im sorry), uni au, friends to friends with benefits

wc: 1.8k

synopsis: when your friend and you ended up in a bed in between each other’s thighs, your friendship was in danger of being disrupted. thankfully, you two came up with a solution…

warnings: cock warming, public play, exhibitionism, grinding, descriptions of past sex scenes, use of pet names, orgasm control? a little praise and a little degrading thrown in too because why not

authors note: this is not proof read and I wrote it at 1am please be kind <3

—

It was a summery afternoon, Yunho and you spend it per usual at the park near campus, studying for your final exams. The last rays of sunshine shining though the pine trees that spend shade to the entire space decked in greenery and flowers. It was especially quiet at this time, which was the reason you went there regularly. Yet the specific place in the very back spend and enormous amount of silence that the both of you enjoyed thoroughly.

But despite the breeze that fanned over your legs and arms, your insides were burning. As if someone poured hot chili sauce in your gut, focus not present and the notes you compared and tried to burn into your memory were wasted efforts. The burn inside churning your stomach in all shapes, trying to sit still - but to no avail.

Why? Because your friend right next to you railed you last weekend, and since then acted as if nothing had happened between the two of you. Never had you ever thought of him like that, but ever since it happened, you couldn’t pull your mind off it. It was a thought chain that disrupted every effort to study, reimagining the things that went down in his bed. But anytime you tried to hint at it or even talk about the incident, he avoided it, changed the topic, or even flat out pretended he didn’t know what you were referring to. And it was exhausting. You were even considering forgetting about the whole thing to continue on with your friendship and not to get the mush of sexual fantasies and your blatant neediness between that.

But still, you thought about it. You couldn’t not think about it. Never had anyone… fucked you the way he did.

“I love the way your boobs bounce, the way you clench around me like that- fuck, like that. You feel so snug around my cock, so good bunny. Just for me.”

Panting. Moaning. Maintaining your rhythm. Repeat. He stretched your walls so well, the constant dragging against your velvet walls make you go crazy. Orgasm pending as your legs got more tired, yet trying your best to continue riding your friend.

“Dumb little bunny, getting tired already? Don’t you want to cum?” He teased, seeing and feeling your struggle, releasing a incoherent chain of moans and complaints. His smirk still ever present on his lips, clearly enjoying himself. After a few more attempts on continuing to get your release on him, he rolled over to change your positions, moments before your thigh muscles would have given out.

“Bunny, answer when I ask you something. Do you wanna cum on my dick, huh? I guess you don’t want to then…” he provoked, knowing exactly what he was doing while slowing his movements. “Yun, no! No I wanna cum, please don’t stop, I’m begging you, please please please, I’m just a dumb little bunny. Make me cum, please Yunho. I need-“ he muffled your pleas with his giant hand, pushing his fingers against your tongue while snapping his hips harder then before, sounds of skin slapping filling the room. Crying as he gifted you with your well earned orgasm.

“Snap out of it, Y/N. You’re off somewhere in Dreamland.” his deep voice woke you from the depth of your naughty mind.

“Fuck- Yunho! Don’t startle me like that!” Playfully hitting his arm as you try to compose yourself again and at least pretend to study, so you can find an excuse to get home and take care of the blinding ache that was slowly bubbling up in between your legs.

Yunho got another book out of his backpack, flipping through the pages as he side eyed you again and again. “What did you think about? You’re been really distant today, I’m almost offended.” His voice sounded calm. And yes, he was right, you acted strange - but to your defense, you didn’t know what the late events made you two. Mind rattling without coming to a conclusion, you simply sighed and looked up from your study material. Rolling over from laying on your stomach, to now rest on your back and searching for Yunho’s attention.

“Yunho, I don’t - no I can’t anymore. You idiot make me crazy, all I can think about is you fucking me and I can’t get this image out of my head. And I can’t stand how you keep on pretending it never happened. I hate this so much. I cannot get over it, and you certainly don’t help with your whole spiel.” words hitting him square in the chest, and even while they came out more forceful than you imagined in your head, it seemed to work in your favor… well more or less…

“Bunny, bunny, if you want me to touch you, just tell me. I can tell by the way your thighs rub together…”

“That’s not what I mean Yunho. You’re doing it right now, again! You’re avoiding the issue at hand, and if you don’t man up I’ll leave until you grow a pair of balls.” You shake your head, denying your arousal pooling in favor of getting your point across. His features turned serious for a moment. Closing your eyes in frustration and hiding your face behind your fingers to avoid his stare boring through your skull. But before he said anything, you felt something along your legs-

“You’re too riled up. But let’s talk this though if it bothers you - which it clearly does. But before that-“ his fingers traveled up until they felt the damp material of your panties, moving it to the side to push his own digits in. Mentally cursing at your choice to wear a skirt today of all days. “- let’s relax. Please, just sit up.”

Trying your hardest to keep any signs of newly found ecstasy to yourself, one hand moving in and out of your hole, the other wrapping around your waist to pull you up from your lying position and bring you onto his lap. His chest pressing against your back, his mouth ghosting over the shell of your ear. Whispering, only for you to hear “good bunny, now-“ he pulled his fingers out of you, which contracted a short whine from your end, and despite trying your best to play coy, you failed. Feeling a grin on his face as he continued to work you up. One hand untucking his half-hard member out of his sweatpants. Your mind went blank as you felt him teasing your entrance, hands searching for him to stop.

“Yunho, we’re in public, someone will see us. Please-“ you whine, slowly loosing control of yourself and almost grinding against him, begging for stimulation. Without answering, he slipped inside effortlessly thanks to your arousal that drenched your core. Lewd moans leaving you as his grip found your hips again, holding you close to him, while not giving you a chance to fuck yourself on him.

At this point all the built up composure was thrown out the window and you tried your hardest to get any stimulation from him, which his death grip on you prevented. “Stop clenching, let’s talk.” He commented, not letting up on you. Brows furrowed in confusion while glancing back at him.

“I didn’t expect you to be this needy for me in public. It explains a lot. But in all seriousness…” he started, and despite everything, you could think clear thoughts again, his rough touch comforting you in a way. “Let’s talk it through.”

Deep sighs escaped while chewing on the inside of your cheek. “You know, I don’t know. It was all so awkward since we… you know, did it. I don’t want to loose our friendship but at the same time my mind is filled with you. But not my friend from Uni-Yunho, instead it’s just ‘bunny looks so good doing this and that’-Yunho.” You found it surprisingly easier to talk your mind without having to look into his eyes. But your voice was thin and could break off any moment to turn into whispers.

“I’m- I don’t know what to say, honestly. Did I ever make you feel uncomfortable, or push you to do things you’re not okay with?” He asked out of the blue, and you shook your head vehemently at his question. His grip on your hips let up, feeling that his hold may cause a few bruises, but that was the last of your concerns. “Never. If it did, we would have never gone that far. You know me, I’m quick to reject people when I feel iffy.”

A soft, breathy laugh left him and you felt his warm breath against your neck. “I know. Suppose I’m lucky then.” Hands coming back to lift you off his cock, and you turned around to face him. Slowly sinking back onto him and finding his hands once you bottomed out.

You both were nervous about this, but nonetheless you were determined to get this topic over with, to come to a conclusion. A proper result to see where you both stand at.

“I have a proposal then.“ he spoke, hands leaving yours again to hold you and make you sink onto his boner once again, this time moaning louder than the first time, and a heat crawled up your neck and cheeks. “What if we…“ he guided you up and down, your hands frantically grabbing onto his shirt to deal with the sudden stimulation. Tiny groans tumbling from his lips as well, “Let’s keep this casual. Make it our thing. We don’t have to get caught up with any feelings or attachments. We can simply keep going as friends, and when… you know. We get desperate, we can play with each other.” He suggested while keeping a steady rythym, bucking his hips ever so perfectly, hitting your spots better than anyone before him did.

“Are you suggesting that we- oh fuck! T-that we… become friends with benefits? Mmmh- you sure about this?” trying your hardest to talk properly without drawing too much attention to your situation. Even if any bystander wouldn’t think you were getting off in public, your skirt hiding both of your private regions perfectly. Your sounds and movements would prove anyone otherwise.

Yunho slowly but surely slacked off and stilled his movements while staying snug inside you again. “That’s what I’m saying. You think you can do that?”

In all honesty, this newly found confidence surprised you, but it suited him so well, ever since becoming intimate with him. And having this side of Yunho, alongside a normal friendship, a friendship you cherished and celebrated? Where he still was that funny, yet slightly clumsy and sarcastic person? It seemed like a jackpot.

Breathily, leaning your forehead against his, and nodding at his suggestion. “I can. I want to. I mean, I wanna try this thing with you. Please-“

Suddenly, lips slotting against your own sloppily. Hands touching you everywhere, heavy breathing and panting.

“Let’s take this back to the dorms then, bunny. Be good and I’ll make you cum as much as you want. Sounds good?”

—

[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

do you have any theories about the india trip ?? personally, im not sure what to think about it, but i’d love to hear your thoughts !!

(Sorry its taken me so long to answer this - it just got lost in my drafts cause im an idiot lmao 🤦‍♀️)

Im not entirely certain on what I believe happened in India, if in fact anything did happen at all - but more on that later! I guess though that these are the main theories (though if you have any differing opinions/theories, feel free to discuss them!):

1. Paul rejected John’s advancements

2. John wanted to further their relationship, and Paul wanted to maintain the ‘friends with benefits’ situation they already had

3. Nothing significant happened between the two (yet something still changed in John)

I’ll try to discuss which theories I find the most convincing, compelling and substantiated - as well as offering my own opinions and hypothesis’s ^^ (discussion bellow the cut)

1. Paul rejected John’s advancements

The theory I would say im most drawn to - not the theory that im necessarily most convinced by though - is that John made a move on Paul, after a few years of pining for him, and was subsequently rejected. Its a theory that I tend to be compelled by, but I have to admit that its one I struggle to justify entirely. The problem with this theory, for me, is that this is a conclusion ive drawn based mostly off of what their relationship appeared to look like after India. It seems as though something must have happened between them to have ruptured their relationship as profoundly as it did - and because they were on relatively good terms before India*, combined with certain inferences we could draw from comments John made regarding his feelings towards Paul and their relationship, it feels as though it’s possible that he made an advance on Paul, which was rejected and thus caused the ultimate disintegration of the Lennon/McCartney relationship.

(*I mean, their relationship was always complicated and difficult - but it seems that it was okay-ish prior to India, and then just inexplicably plummeted after the trip)

But nobody (as far as im aware) has confirmed, or even really alluded to, this advancement or rejection ever having happened. And the lack of evidence substantiating the claim is a major draw back for me!

However, I do also feel as though nobody’s really come out about anything that happened in India - all ive heard is that they meditated, wrote songs, John and Cyn fought, and Ringo ate baked beans. But like, more must have happened on the trip, surely? Im not saying the absence of information regarding the trip is proof that there was a big “lovers quarrel” between John and Paul, and that everyone involved in that trip is now just sworn to secrecy or something - but like, id just like to see a biographer really investigate the holiday, and try to conclude what events might have occurred during the trip, because as of right now, with the information we have, it seems to have been, bizarrely, both a lacklustre and uneventful, yet still hugely impactful event. If the narrative of the “India trip” were to be shifted in the future in light of new information, the same way the narrative of “Let It Be/Get Back” is being changed, I wouldn’t be surprised!

2. John wanted more, but Paul didn’t

Another popular theory is that John and Paul were engaged in something of a physical affair, but in India John proposed (or perhaps demanded even) that they take their relationship further, and Paul just wasn’t compelled to do so.

Beliefs vary regarding this, based on how far you personally think their relationship went: some might say they only ever did a little drunken experimenting with one another, and that it was just a fun fling until John suggested they take it further. Others might argue that they were in fact in a committed relationship, and John wanted to go public with it - or at the very least, demanded exclusivity between him and Paul.

In entertaining this theory, im most compelled to believe that John and Paul were engaged in occasional “flings”, and perhaps by ‘68 were even acknowledging that there was some deeper and more sincere between them - but ultimately, I don’t think Paul would have ever been inclined to fully commit to John, because I think he always wanted children and a family. In addition to this, though its clear John and Paul were passionate about one another, it isn’t clear how compatible they were in the long term - and with Paul being the more grounded of the too, I suspect he would have recognised this incompatibility, which John (the idealist) might not have.

Though I admit that John could certainly be unrealistic and irrational, im not convinced that he suggested to Paul they go public with their relationship, because I think John still had a fairly strong sense of his place in popular culture, and would have still been able to recognise that if they were to “come out”, it would probably deeply and irreparably damage both their careers - as well as George and Ringo’s too - at least amongst the general public. They’d still have some ardent fans, but their following overall would have become far more niche, and the “beatlemania” would’ve worn off swiftly. Im not sure if either of them would’ve been willing to take that heat in ‘68, especially not Paul, who as I mentioned earlier, I think might have recognised the futility and incompatibility inherent in their relationship.

Then again though, John was always a little “cocky”* when it came to his sexuality - I think if an interviewer were to genuinely have enquired into his sexuality, straight up asking him “Are you bi? Gay?” I get the sense that he would have told us! Sure he’d probably have dressed the response up with a dozen quick quips and jokes, but ultimately, I think he would have given a sincere response. And so, perhaps he did feel he had the confidence, at least in India, to actually “come out”, but if Paul wasn’t willing to make this official with him, perhaps this confidence dissipated.

(*No pun intended you pervs🤦‍♂️)

Another thing to note about India is that they’d have been relatively secluded, as well as off the drugs/drinks for the most part - and this would have forced them to really reflect upon their relationship. Perhaps John saw that he wasn’t contented with Cynthia, and recognised his desire for more from Paul - and so in such a raw state of mind, I can see how he’d become so shattered if Paul were to have rejected him (that statement could relate both to the first and second theory, I feel). Perhaps John made an advance upon Paul whilst they were both sober for the first time, and that changed their relationship somehow? Just thinking out loud here!

But again, this theory overall has the same problem as the first in that, though it appears to make sense, it still lacks proof; it ultimately isn’t a substantiated claim.

3. Nothing happened between J&P, but something changed

This is probably the theory that everybody is least interested in hearing, but I still think its a pretty valid one, albeit the least dramatic (In my opinion though its still a really interesting perspective to explore though!).

Its possible that nothing of particular significance happened in India, but something still shifted in John, causing him to vilify and reject Paul. The issue with this though, is that it begs the question: why did John undergo such a significant change in India then?

Id argue that perhaps John was making very subtle and slight moves towards Paul, that Paul either ignored or didn't pick up on. Id assume that perhaps John had been hinting at this desire for awhile now, and maybe he got it into his head that in India, where him and Paul would have a lot of time to be alone and intimate, his feelings would finally be reciprocated. But then, Paul never picked up on these hints, and never made any advancements - and this broke something within John. It would fit neatly within the Yoko narrative, because it offers reasoning to the abrupt but intense attachment John formed towards her almost immediately after India - as well as explaining the sudden vilification of Paul. But I suppose that the first two theories also fit pretty neatly within the Yoko narrative, because they all relate to the same basic concept that John wanted more from Paul, and Paul didn’t - and so he tried to replace him with Yoko.

I suppose though, that the this theory overall could also be countered by making the argument that Paul also began to spiral after India, and so some occurrence presumably must have happened to Paul too. I wonder though if its possible that maybe Pauls spiralling was kind of a result of Johns? I get the sense though that Paul would need a change in his life to cause his mental health to seriously deteriorate, but I don’t feel like the same is necessarily true for John - I think John is sort of the type to spiral, irregardless of whether his life undergoes a significant change or not, because I think John was the force driving a lot of the drama and troubles throughout his lifetime. So if Johns mental well-being started seriously deteriorating, I can see this being a cause of panic and anxiety for Paul.

But something that further inclines me to believe that an actual event occurred between John and Paul is this extract from Geoff Emmericks memoir (x)(id recommend reading the entire extract, its interesting!):

‘I glanced in Paul’s direction. He was staring straight ahead, expressionless and weary. He didn’t have much to say about India that day, or any other. I sensed at that moment that something fundamental in them had changed.”’

It just really feels as though there was some confrontation between John and Paul that had to have happened to perpetuate the miscommunication later seen between them. Like if there hadn’t been some kind of confrontation, then I can’t really understand why Paul would be reluctant to speak about India, or harbour any regrets or dismay regarding the journey. Perhaps you could drill it down to the betrayal they appeared to have felt by Maharishi allegedly hitting on girls - but I feel like this was a “betrayal” mostly felt by John, I never really got the sense that Paul was deeply effected by it.

But yeah - those are the main theories I think.

Overall, I think that the third theory is probably the most substantiated claim, but I think it leaves a lot to desired. It just doesn’t feel like it totally fits together, as though theres more to the story - but I guess relationships and peoples psyches aren’t puzzles, and so not everything is always going to piece together perfectly; but I dunno.

Like I said though, the theory im most compelled by is the first. I acknowledge that it lacks evidence, but it just seems to make a lot of sense to me! But really, who knows what the hell happened in India?

If anyone else has an opinion on all this, or wants to expand upon or even suggest a new theory, feel free to! I always like hearing from you guys!

[aku-jumbi]

im am so sorry you are getting those messages, tumblr is filled with a lot of sensitive people and even though their feelings are valid, i really hope you still continue the way you draw, i seriously love it. they just can't seem to see the way you stylize the characters.

“ hello! i hope these comments do not stop you from creating anymore art, i believe fanart is not the best option to look for realism as many of these characters don’t have ‘real’ features, such as natural pink, purple, green hair colors “

I want to thank you for your support about that matter and I am very grateful for your words. If I would only get those cultural accusation messages I might crumble (wanna be honest here: the last 3 pictures I made were painted already in a quite unstable state because of all of that and yes, I get uncertain what I am actually doing wrong since my characters really don’t look like people who you could eventually meet somewhere on earth on any given street).

What I am actually not understanding is the narrow mindedness (of which the accusing people are actually accusing me, don’t worry, I am great in introspection and making conclusion).

Also, they assume that I am from a country that has apparently a very different culture than Asian and they even assume that I have no clue about other cultures: guess what, you are right, of course I have no clue about other cultures, I can learn about it from books, visit different countries but I will never comprehend the culture. Whats’s funny, I don’t even comprehend my own culture cause there are so many aspect and different views. One state does it like that, the other like that and in the 10th state they think I don’t value our countries cultural identity, although I am raised here. Not talking about when I just cross the border to our neighbour country and get like a cultural shock and feel like an alien.

If just one portrait of one Anime character gives them insight about my cultural background then it just shows how short they think and how they don’t value my culture, too. They accuse me of not valuing another culture by just seeing my paintings while they not value my art which might be my culture, too... let’s just settle that for a moment.

Painting an anime character as beautiful as I can... that’s not to ridicule a culture or not to value, it’s the contrary! The way I paint is my personal, very personal perspective, I am not forcing others into that aesthetic, but I draw what my cultural background gave me as input... now think carefully: I paint nothing abusive, nothing that ridicules Japanese culture, I just paint it with the cultural background I was raised with. It’s like kneeling infront of the Anime character and trying to make an interpretation. When I paint I paint with my whole heart, I really love painting and I try to stay within the facial features that are shown in the Anime. 

Let’s take it the other way round: Maid costumes and school uniforms. A clearly western invention, isn’t it? And AOT playing apparently in a very German looking location within the walls... like... should I get angry now about Hajime Isayama borrowing the architecture although he has no clue about German culture (that’s the argumentation of all the accusing people). No, i don’t blame him, I see him using German architecture and even all of the names in AOT as liking the German culture apparently or at least liking some kind of aspects. Who am I to judge him or even trying to prohibit him from doing so because “he is not a German, just a Japanese, he doesn’t know anything about us, that’s not art what he is doing, he is abusing our culture”... you can clearly hear how ridiculous such accusation sounds.

Oh... and btw. Volleyball was invented by  William G. Morgan, sound pretty much not Japanese to me :P and what now? Should Haikyuu be doomed because it’s not just about Geishas and Samurai?  (sorry for me slowly sounding rude but it all just really makes me scratching my head and I want to show how ridiculous that accusations are).

Btw. for all the haters, I love Japanese culture, as I stated a couple of times before. I can read, write and speak Japanese and I visited it a couple of times and even lived there for a while, of course I am not a Japanese... we can’t be all Japanese, all European all African and so on to admire another culture our own way.

[illusionlockarchive]

pazam: a mess, truly a mess

so i usually dont do these kind of posts, i guess you could say its a call out of some sort? but i never liked that word, i prefer rather to just compile sources on WHY people would believe that a certain person is not truly as nice and understanding as they seem. consider this more of a psa post, detailing on whats going on with pazam on the sfm community, why so many people are against them.

So, a while back, tumblr user jymble made a post on the main tag stating that pazam was transphobic. they linked back to this post, which contains screenshots of pazam in a group chat stating that they do not feel comfortable with the idea of trans people. now, this did happen 9 months ago, true. however, for the record, pazam is already an adult, 24 years old, so they should have some tact. and as further and more recent events will show, they actually havent changed that much at all, at least not as they claim.

the screenshots should be in the post, but here is a transcript

[Screenshot one]

Pazam:

What????? Why?????

I literally HAVE NOT been doing ANYTHING malicious to them

And if it did I apologized

Yes I do have discomfort about them but I keep it to myself

Why are you doing this????

[End screenshot one]

‘Them’ here refers to trans people in general. Notice the defensive and victimizing stance they almost immediately take upon being confronted about their feelings on trans people.

[Screenshot two]

elliott:

of COURSE you dont

sammaku:

Like specifically

Elliott hush

Pazam:

This whole concept of transness and changing your gender physically

I hate to say it again but it weirds me out and it makes me question my own gender which flings me into anxiety, depression, and obsession

sammaku:

Its fine to not understand but are you willing to learn about it

Pazam:

I don’t want to talk about this anymore

sammaku:

That depression anxiety and obsession just comes with gender issues

(the rest of the text is cut off)

[End Screenshot two]

notice once summaku asks them if they would at least be willing to learn about it, pazam immediately deflects it by saying they dont want to talk about it anymore.

[Screenshot three]

Pazam:

Seriously??? That’s all it takes????

Wow I’m a moron

I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused to you

@.aziraphale @.elliott @.sammaku

I just don’t get this stuff period

And I’ve gotten into trouble with this stuff before

I’ll probably never understand it for the rest of my life but I’ll try to be more tactful around y’all

Especially since you’re all young

And I’m like an adult

[End screenshot three]

While at first this would seem like they had finally learned their lesson and apologized, the things they add on after the @s become quickly worrying. Not only do they admit to ‘have gotten into trouble with this stuff before’, meaning they have probably shown their transphobia in other places and been called out, but they also stand firmly on the fact that they will never understand it or ‘get’ it.

And of course, as jymble points out, the implication that the people they were talking to were only acting like that because they were young.

A while after this post was made, Pazam had posted an apology, and went onto contact jymble asking for the post with the evidence of their transphobic to be taken down. The reason? They were afraid people would see it and think they were still transphobic and not give them a chance.

In this more recent post, you can see the conversation play out between Pazam and jymbles. Long story short, Pazam feels that it’s unfair that that post is still up after they apologized, and jymble of course said they would rather not take it down, people deserve to know what they did and take their own conclusions, even if that involves avoiding them. How does Pazam respond? By flat out deleting the apology post. I’d love to show the apology post to give you both sides of the story but I cannot anymore, because Pazam in a very bizarre move just deleted it because they got mad a trans blogger wouldn’t take down their post with proof.

Here’s the transcript of the screenshots:

[Begin Conversation]

rebloggidy (Pazam’s personal):

I’m by no means transphobia-free after learning what I’ve done but at least I know my actions and am making an effort to be a better person towards trans people.

rebloggidy:

Hi again. So I hate to be that person but would it be ok if you took down that post about the transphobia claims? I know it took me 9 months to apologize but if people only see your side of the story and not realize the post I saw they’ll take it out of context and still think I’m transphobic. Do you understand?

jymble:

... i already told you im not taking down the post.

[jymble sends a screenshot of her own message in a previous conversation, the screenshot reads as follows:

however, i dont think im taking the post down, nor am i entirely comfortable with you interacting with me either. people deserve to know how you acted with this stuff, until youre really and truly *better* with it instead of just trying, and i was a direct target of it]

jymble:

you oughright told me "im by no means transphobia-free", word for word sorry, but i told you before. im not taking the post down.

rebloggidy:

I remember that. But what I'm trying to say to you is that if people who read it out of context will immediately think I'm still transphobic without the other side of it (my comment)

And I don't want people to think that in the future

jymble:

if people make assumptions without looking at the entire situation, thats on them

i am not deleting the post and thats final. people have a right to know what youve done, and they have a right to be uncomfortable

rebloggidy:

I'm ready to take down my post because frankly, I'm sick and tired of having to justifiy something that I did 9 months ago, and that people grow and learn even not 100% during that time and I'm ready to move on.

I'm still into smile for me and feel free to make a blacklist of my name so anybody who rbs my work on your dash can have it hidden or something.

Take care.

[End conversation]

a lot to unpack here, but perhaps most notable is when jymble simply stands her ground and tells pazam she wont take down the post, pazam straight up decides, without being told to or anything, that they should take down their apology. later on, they made a post stating why they deleted the post, and saying they had ‘been forced to’.

I also would love to link it here, but as of now of writing this, like, not even an hour or so after I had seen that post, it got deleted. The only memory I have of it is a conversation I had with my boyfriend about Pazam, in which I copypasted a fragment from that post that read:

“ So for those wondering where the apology post went, I was forced to delete it. I wanted to archive it in some way so I could pull it up for reference, but there was no way I could. Also I didn’t really want to see it every time on my blog because quite honestly it’s upsetting to look at.”

There are some lies and twisting of truths here. Pazam wasn’t forced to delete it, they decided they should do it as a way to somehow get back at jymble. And the excuse that it was upsetting for them to look at is just inexcusable, what matters most, letting people know of what youve done and that youre sorry, or just never addressing the situation?

But, well, I’m just hoping you’ll take my word for it. As you see, Pazam has officially deleted ANY traces of acknowledging this situation on their blog.

This worries me. If Pazam is truly as concerned that they will be seen as transphobic as they claim, why are they deleting anything that could give them a chance of showing their own side of the story?

Now, that is the end, for now, of Pazam’s history with transphobia. However! It is not the end for some other very shady things.

Namely, Pazam has consistently whitewashed characters from Smile For Me, specially Kamal, and when called out on it, simply deletes the asks.

Want to know how I know this?

I sent them an ask myself. I had come across this picture of Boris and Kamal:

And I knew that this wasn’t right. I can understand using light colors and doing watercolor, but if they can make Boris’ hair brown and vivid enough, why not Kamal? He looks like another character completely, or like he’s deathly sick! 

So I sent them an anonymous ask, perhaps a bit exhasperated, true, and my wording could be better. It went something like: “i am begging you to draw kamal with darker skin”.

I waited, checked. But nothing came of it. They never answered it.

Pazam flat out ignored when they were told they had drawn a canonically brown man with skin way too light. Not even a lone text post saying ‘hey anon, i dont agree with you’ or ‘hey anon im sorry it wont happen again’. Nothing. No word, no opinion.

And with this situation going on with them evading responsibility, I can’t say I’m fully surprised.

And, yet another thing. People had expressed concern over the fact they had drawn their Flower Kid, who is 17, in very intimate and close positions with Dr. Habit. It included nuzzling faces, cuddling in bed together, wearing his coat...

And they did hear the claims this time. As of now, their Flower Kid is 24, according to them.

Except... They do not look 24. At. All.

this is a 12 year old. at best. short body, stubby legs, big head. those are all attributes of a very young character, usually children. like, legitimately, thats how childrens anatomy is in real life. the younger the person, the bigger their head is in proportion to their body.

We have already had an adult trying to justify drawing their flower kid who barely looked like an adult if at all in intimate situations with Habit. Let’s not let it slide by again.

And yes, I’m aware Pazam claims that those pictures were not supposed to be interpreted as romantic, ‘only platonic fluff’ and that they intend to keep it that way, but I have talked to my boyfriend who is a survivor and he said it very well could be a case of someone just trying to cover their tracks.

BUT, all that being said, maybe this one particular instance could be just us being wary. Still, it does not diminish all that they have done, specially ignoring the whitewashing claims.

What you are going to do with this information, I do not know. Maybe you don’t care and will keep reblogging their content. Maybe you’re disgusted by them. But I’m just here to give you the facts. Personally though, I’m not willing to give them much of a chance after the way they’ve behaved. They are 24 years old, three years older than me, and I think I could do a better job of handling a situation like this, frankly.

[gascon-en-exil]

im begging you to elaborate more on your hubert is secretly a member of TWSITD theory. is he a traitor to TWSITD? is he just pretending so that TWSITD can get a better grip on the throne after edelgard dies? does ferdinand know? i kinda love this theory, he even has that horribly pale skin that ever other underground dubstepper has and that is enough for me to believe it 100%

It’s not something I’ve thought about too deeply, but it does neatly explain a few things, like his use of dark magic without having been used in Agarthan experimentation or why he’s completely unbothered by their blood magic work (Flayn) and their experiments on civilians. It also fits in continuation with the Genealogy allusion that is the Empire; Hubert and Thales split the role of Manfroy technically speaking, but Hubert’s the one really getting most of it done and Thales is just there for nukes and to be a non-playable antagonist.

I think the most likely scenario is that he wasn’t an Agarthan originally but came upon them in research and ingratiated himself into their ranks in pursuit of power. On a mechanical level it’s worth noting that Hubert has no Crest. Per the Alois/Hanneman supports Crest-less individuals have trouble learning magic, and you can see this show up in gameplay with the other default magic users without Crests: Dorothea and Manuela have lower MAG growths, and their and spell lists aren’t the greatest in one way or another. Not Hubert though - second highest MAG growth in the game after Lysithea and Constance, a full complement of dark spells, and even despite his faith weakness he’s a better healer than Manuela and situationally better than Dorothea. One could draw the conclusion is that Hubert sought out Agarthan (dark) magic to overcome his natural disadvantage, possibly during the time that Edelgard was away in the Kingdom. We know that he had a connection with the Agarthans by the time he suggested that she ally herself with them several years later.

I guess that would make Hubert kind of an Agarthan but kind of not, and explains why Thales still wouldn’t trust him and is contemptuous toward Hubert in his paralogue. I wouldn’t say that Hubert ever really goes off-script in CF except for the attack on Cornelia, and Thales’s response to that is known. We only have ending cards and such to describe the postgame war against the Agarthans where Hubert really does go rogue, but that’s not really that much to go off. It stuck with me that he refers to that upcoming war as House Vestra’s, like it’s entirely his personal thing and Edelgard isn’t going to be involved in any way. You could read that as more of her outsourcing - this time pitting her various evil minions against one another - or as something more sinister on his end, like for example that Hubert could be fighting to depose Thales and replace him as the leader of the Agarthans. That would bring the Manfroy comparisons back in full force and likely lead to an outcome very similar to Genealogy Gen 2, with Hubert grooming Edelgard’s successor from the shadows or being ready to kill and replace them by an Agarthan he can fully control. It’s not like he has any magic tomes containing the souls of evil dark dragons lying around. Probably.

As for Ferdinand, I imagine that Hubert withholds a lot of sensitive information from his lover for everyone’s sake, even if CF Ferdinand is naturally more morally compromised. I think the more interesting question is how long does it take until Hubert is bringing dark magic and blood rituals into the bedroom to satisfy all their kinky whims; if Ferdinand seriously believes that Hubert is attractive enough to sleep with he’s got to be into that kind of thing.

[itsakpopalypse]

Jacob/ Zhang Peng Astrology: How he loves

A/N Oh hey it me bringing you another request. I have a few left in the queue so sorry if it takes me a couple days, thank you all for your requests!! Thanks so much for understanding!!

“Because your break downs are amazing, could you do a lover breakdown of Jacob from VAV? I know his chart has some great things in there! Thanks boo 😘" - @dotheddaengthing 

I got you !!  As always, 18+ below the cut!

I’m triggered and I haven’t even started the damn chart 

first I’d like to note his chart has a really pretty balance to it

there is a poetic, 3,2,3,2 to his element split also that I find really interesting. 

fire and air, considered “active” or positive Yang  elements. he has 2 of each

and the earth and fire, considered “passive” Negative Yin elements he has 3 of each

he has SO MANY cardinal placements so there are a few conclusions we can draw from this

FIRST OFF 

cardinal signs are known for being the embodiment of that element. He has Aries, Libra, Capricorn AND Cancer... meaning all 3 of the Cardinal signs make an appearance in his chart

that is really interesting to me.because the heavier emphasis on passive elements suggests an easy going reasonable personality and the active elements being not far behind but still lesser indicates he isn’t lazy or a doormat

and with that many cardinal placements, more than one of each, he is likely a really level headed person who is excellent at inciting action within himself

let’s talk details

his rising is Scorpio  we have talked about this rising Scorpios get your shit together

he is going to seem mysterious and interesting to people

you are going to have to PRY info out of him if you want more than a few tidbits and jokes

Scorpios don’t like to seem ‘weak’ and emotional  those words are not synonymous and water represents emotion im sorry scorpios accept you are a soft bitch deep down

he will likely rely on sarcasm in the beginning and being a Virgo won’t tamp down that impulse, he may come off as cold and unfeeling 

so if you’re trying to boo him up and he’s standing off more with you than others it’s probably because those walls are up in defense

Virgo sun

meticulous and clean, cautious and deep thinking

analyze analyze analyze

also Virgos get so hung up on details they’ll forget really simple concepts 

someone help him he is confused

this would be 1000% worse if his moon weren't the CARDINAL of  emotional feelings, Cancer

so he will second guess himself

it’ll be hard to get him to not be hard on himself

Virgos  are picky and savage but also incredibly mistrusting and self defeating

so outside is “I’m cool and have it together” and inside it’s 

“Can they tell I really like them omg stop it be like Elsa conceal don’t feel”

let it go, bro 

Cancer moon is going to win out in the end

if he likes you he will constantly be doing things for you

combining Virgo's detail oriented traits and Cancer’s incredible empathy means he knows you better than you know you

expect a confession of his to be right out of  your personal dreams

he is confident in what you need and he is willing to give it to you 

yaaaas girl get you that emotional support what a fricken dream

where can i get one

on the flip side you have to be very gentle with him they bruise easily

the tiniest thoughtless word will bounce around in his head for weeks he is fragile pls

in relationships he will probably be afraid to go past general flirtation

with confusion and teasing and you will have whiplash cause he will go from being nice and taking care of you to kind of stand offish and cold 

THANKS SCORPIO

So you’ll get some kind of long friendship where he likes  you so much but he can't Express it so he just kinda gets irritable or shy every time you're around

And if you confront him he'll blurt out the reason "I'm mad because I really like you!!! And you don't understand that I do and I'm scared! "

 And you'll be like 👀👀👀👀 You do???

And he's like *shy baby mode activate*

He might just like walk away embarrassed  if you don't put him at ease

Pls help this bb he is so shy

But once you do he will calm downAnd his instincts  will kick in

And it’s all "where's your jacket? Tch. Just take mine or whatever" (Its cause he wants to stake his claim do not believe him)

Mercury in Libra

literally one of the best signs for communicators

I am not just saying that as a Libra

for real, it’s in the scales

everything from a libra is like

“Well if you look at it from this perspective....”

it’s really hard to have a real fight with a Libra because fairness is the game

he will however be self sacrificing if it’s to avoid conflict and you might have to call to make drs appointments  and stuff cause they really don’t like to bother people

Venus in Cancer.... oh boy

so we know about cancer venus by now

emotional. thoughtful,supportive relationships

they don’t date casually in general because anything that doesn’t hit them on a soul deep level isn’t worth their time

so think affection wise this is putting the tips of his fingers in  your furthest pocket while he’s got you tucked into his side

talking quietly to you about the universe and his dreams

its cute

probably loves to snuggle and watch movies together

and probably will cry but if you say something he will say he didn’t

mars in Cancer 

sorry this means moody AF i don’t make the rules

cancers have a way of shifting moods 

so their drive to situations will fluctuate

you may have to be really supportive when he is being negative and when he is positive  again he will definitely make it up to you

relationships are give and take!!

18+ below get yo freak on if you legal

someone collect him seriously .

let’s get nasty

you know we start with that DAMN VENUS 

cause WHY IS IT CANCER SO MUCH

Cancer Venus's are a danger to genitalia everywhere 

I am actually ready to fight the next Cancer venus I see 

Controlling, jealous, and affectionate

combine this with virgo and cancer moon and you get a very, very strict, but very, very affectionate and soft daddy.

listen

what the hell

so this means he will probably be the type to stare deeply into your eyes, body looming over you, long powerful drags in and out that force the air from your lungs

RIP YOUR VAG

toy play?

yeah, toy play

Vibrators when you are bad 

probably aggressive, but in like,  a romantic way

when he beats your cervix to a pulp  makes love to you, he will mutter how much he loves you into your neck

soft wet whispers kissed into your skin

i imagine he’s like a biter but in the gentle way

more like nips all the way down your body in a playful way with his hands stretching over your waist

sensual emotional and possessive all at once

but sometimes 

if you make that cancer jealous

look out because the FULL possessive side will jump right out

marking and asking you who you belong to

goes emotionally soft for a moment if you beg

maybe nicknames in the sheets ?

remember possessive so there’s some indication he would want to leave you with something that only he could give you 

I am also thinking that he is the type to get you to cum multiple times

like if he is going to cum once you are getting at least 2

wants to make it so his touch is burned into your skin 

a poem of your heartbeat tattooed against your ribs 

your soft noises ringing in his ears

it’s his favorite soundtrack

aftercare is gonna be based on that Libra north node I think

so like. 

you are glued to him and not going anywhere. probably keeps a shirt under the bed to clean up the mess but he wants you skin to skin

if you must get up and walk around he wants you in one of his shirts with undies and nothing else

loves the sight of you wrapped in him

please I am on soft hours now how 

be good to this man cause he is a rough outside and soft inside 

he needs support and love and cuddles

A/N    okay! !

 I feel like i should make the disclaimer that this is my own analysis  based on the amount of info we have. could some of the chart be off (rising and moon can be affected by time of day) yeah. 

but this is for entertainment purposes and I am just messing around for fun, I know I state everything like fact but ... It’s for shits and giggles and I don’t want to write “maybe” and “probably” and put a disclaimer on every single thing. It’s all subjective and unsure. I hope no one is too upset by all that I am doing my best.

anyway I hope you enjoyed

I have a couple of requests left I am working on both thank you for your patience and I hope you stick around! I don’t mind having them in the queue if anyone wants to send anymore !!

[ardenttheories]

I covered the first point in the original post here. 

Dave’s voice often starts off within the narrative. For some reason, almost all of his iconic phrases start as something that’s read in the narrative text - moreso than any other character. It’s almost always word-for-word, which we never see elsewhere in a similar manner. 

So Dave’s influenced by narrative voices a lot more than any other character. The fact that he also speaks AR’s words shows that he is affected by it; in the same situation, John talks to WV as if a haze has come over his mind. Dave, on the other hand, repeats AR’s text - which is directed to him, and not a command, the same way WV asks John for a can opener. 

So something weird definitely happens there. Something that doesn’t quite add up when you really think about it. He’s affected by narrative voices but still stunned by them; when it’s purely narrative, he doesn’t even seem to recognise what’s going on, but when it’s influenced (by AR, or by Dirk), he seems to be much more aware that something weird is happening, yet doesn’t link it to anything in particular. In both AR and Dirk’s narratives, he assumes he’s just having weird thoughts and odd actions - even though, in AR’s case, he’s literally been told that Exiles are a thing. 

He’s so used to the narrative that he doesn’t subconsciously recognise that AR’s text isn’t meant to be spoken out loud. 

As for why Dave might be able to recognise yet not be wholly aware of the narrative:

I think there’s definitely some merit to the idea that Dave’s more confusingly affected by Exiles because of their position within the narrative. They, in all technicality, are at the End of their journeys - and symbolise the End of the universe that had originally been to full of life. 

But I would suggest in this case, isn’t he being exploited by AR more than he is exploiting AR? He still seems, in this situation, so ignorant to what’s going on, even though - once again - he’s been actively told that his Exile is communicating with him. He’s aware but unaware in the dumbest way. 

It definitely might be that he can subconsciously use it again later, but I’m not wholly sure. I can’t think of a point where he uses this information again. The Exiles don’t become exactly relevant at any point after the first few acts, except for WV and PM, who Dave doesn’t interact with a whole lot. And it’s not like he gets into the whole idea of the command consoles, either? 

You also mentioned in another post something about Dead Daves - the concept that maybe, I assume, some of the narrative is provided by Daves that have already done these things? Which would make a lot of sense. Daves exploiting the narrative to talk to this past Dave and ensure he stays on track with the Alpha Timeline - the same way that Aradia becomes the voice of the dead that whispers to herself and guides her throughout the timeline. My only issue with that would be that we don’t actually see that in canon, I think. 

Unless we say that when Dave repeats his iconic lines - such as the apple juice one - it’s just another Dave remembering he said that and ensuring past-Dave says it? 

Going onto the concept of Time within the narrative:

I went into that here, but I’ll go over it again in brief. 

Time isn’t the narrative. It is heavily related to the timeline, the past and the future, but it is entirely in-universe. Characters that host the Time aspect don’t go into it the same way a Light player does - with the concept of the plot and of this storyline they have to follow. I believe at one point when talking to Rose, Dave even calls this concept bullshit as it just makes them seem like characters in a story (which they are, which shows that Dave doesn’t recongise the narrative as a real, physical thing). 

Within the narrative, Time represents the End of the story. Space is the Beginning, Life is the Rising Action, Doom is the Falling Action, and Time is the Conclusion. 

This is why, as I explain in the linked post, Caliborn can take control of the narrative - at the end of the story, to create a timeline that prematurely concludes Homestuck. 

I know exactly what part of the comic you’re also referencing when it comes to Caliborn being aware of the narrative, and having remembered it, I want to point something out:

Caliborn isn’t aware that it’s the narrative, either. The narrator goes back and forth with him on it, and he ultimately ignores it. It goes something like this. 

“You don't have time for fancy poetry. It's almost as useless as having your thoughts dictated to you, assuming you were even aware of that happening, which you definitely aren't. Cherubs aren't prone to that kind of self awareness. No way, absolutely not. Yes, you believe that thought. The one you had just now, by your own volition, and now it's true reality. See? Yes, you agree totally with that thought you had.

You stew in your own quasi-lucid hostility as you think this very thought. The one right here, that feels like it's being dictated to you, you think. You think it feels that way, so you guess it's true. But we previously agreed that you were the sole author of your own thoughts, didn't we? That's the thought you should be thinking, and more importantly, believing in as hard as you can, thus slightly reducing its stubborn fakeness attribute. You then think the word, HUH? That doesn't sound like a thought you would have, you think to yourself thoughtfully. What the fuck? But seriously, you've got to stop this. If you keep thinking thoughts like this, you'll probably start going crazy.”

He seems to notice something. The narrative asks what he’s looking at, which leads to this whole internal conversation.

Caliborn is in a similar boat to Dave, but maybe a bit more aware? He almost attains awareness, but can’t place what it is. The concept that his thoughts aren’t his, but must be his, but then ultimately are disregarded once the narrator forces him to move on from the concept entirely - it’s definitely a very similar thing to Dave. Almost identical, except for the fact that, once again, it’s entirely internal. 

Even Caliborn doesn’t have that moment of speaking out the narrative. He’s aware that there are thoughts that aren’t his, but he doesn’t seem to go to the point where he speaks things out and then questions why he says them. His physical conversations are entirely his own. 

And then his only ability to talk directly to Hussie comes from the command console. Everything that comes after this is because he’s taken control of the device that writes the Ending.

That’s the bit that makes this unique to Dave, I think. Caliborn might have minor narrative awareness in this one scene, but it’s directly before he finds a device that draws him into the narrative. Questionably, we could say that being within reach of this device allows him to hear Hussie’s voice more clearly - especially since we don’t see this happening with either Aradia or Damara (albeit we don’t see much of the latter at all). 

It’s once he gets his hands on the device that he actively argues with Hussie’s development of his character, after all. 

I think, instead of metaphysical, I should have made the distinction between in-universe and out-of-universe.

Time, while it can be influenced by or influence the narrative, is focused solely in the concept of the in-universe. What Caliborn does is essentially change the timeline for his own benefit, and crafts his own story - not through his own powers, but through the powers of an external device. It’s not like he uses this to create a novel that’ll take him out of the core of Homestuck and make him more than just a character - he uses it exclusively to affect the timeline they’re already in. 

Out-of-universe means anything that goes beyond the actual Homestuck universe. So, Dirk talking directly to us, being aware that we’re an audience that’s outside of the realm of his reality - that’s out-of-universe. That’s interacting with our world rather than solely influencing what happens to the timeline. 

Even when Caliborn is the author, he’s still... vulnerable. He’s still wholly connected to the timeline, to being punched in the face by John, to things taking him by surprise. He’s still not the author - the real world Andrew Hussie - and the person he talks to in the narrative isn’t real-world Andrew. 

There’s definite merit to the theory, but there’s also other factors to explain why Caliborn might be able to affect the narrative and be aware of it - the same way there’s reasons why Heart and Light and Space can influence the narrative without it being an actual part of the Aspect itself. 

Basically, I wouldn’t say “the narrative” is a part of Time as the Aspect description itself, but I would say “Time players can affect or be affected by the narrative when in relation to their Aspect”. 

As for the scene with Aradia, no. The section I think you’re referring to is the one wherein Calliope explains how the narrative works and what it is - essentially telling Aradia that it exists. 

On page 40 of Candy:

JADE: to establish an extremely short narrative for certain illustrative purposes.

JADE: i’m going to repeat your story to you, and i want you to listen carefully.

JADE: a martyr died and said fuck.

ARADIA: ok i listened

ARADIA: thats definitely the short story i just said

JADE: yes.

JADE: now i’m going to repeat the story, but change the way i say it very slightly.

JADE: listen again carefully.

ARADIA: ...

JADE: a martyr died and said fuck.

ARADIA: hmm

ARADIA: yes that was a little different

ARADIA: im not sure that i could describe how though it was pretty subtle

And a bit further down:

JADE: a martyr died and said fuck.

JADE: his final howl of profanity reverberated through the ages.

JADE: it inspired his devotees during the darkest times of a brutal regime.

JADE: his lessons were guarded, kept secret, espoused in the shadows of tyranny.

JADE: a vision of peace would inspire those who’d never conceived of it.

JADE: and though his death was gruesome, it opened the world to a feeling of hope.

JADE: this hope echoed through the ages.

JADE: it gave his disciples the strength to persist as they perished in droves.

JADE: it was the only light to shine on a dark planet for millions of sweeps.

JADE: and if you are one so devoted to his teachings, who sees truth in his words,

JADE: it may be said with great authority that you are wrong.

JADE: you are foolish to believe his lies. his martyrdom is false, his sacrifice hollow.

JADE: repent for your adherence to this illusion now, and perhaps leniency will be your reward.

ARADIA: 0_0

ARADIA: what just happened there

JADE: i brought to your attention that the story you were listening to had a speaker with a specific identity.

JADE: and where there is an identity, there can also be an agenda.

So it’s our Space player, the one that’s actively influencing the narrative, explaining it to our Time player - thereby showing that Aradia had no prior knowledge of the narrative. So it can’t be a wholly Time-related thing to have a connection to the narrative, otherwise Aradia wouldn’t have been surprised in this section.

As I said; Time’s effects with the narrative seem wholly more in-universe. They don’t seem to be aware of the wider narrative as a whole, so much as they’re influencing the timeline - the series of events - itself.

It’s the difference between going back in time to stop yourself from eating some cereal, and writing into the story that you ate an apple instead. One is a physical action; the other is a metaphysical edit.  

This is why I think Dave must be influenced by something other than his Aspect. I get the idea that, maybe, his ability to hear the narrative (but his struggle to recognise what it is) isn’t meant to be something he’s aware of - the same way Caliborn isn’t meant to be aware of it until he’s in the presence of the narrative control panel. It’s also why he struggles with meta concepts as actual fact - such as the Exiles, the idea of “becoming someone”, the fact that his E-bubbles have a much more metaphysical effect than he recongises or even intended.

Additionally, as a posited question more than set fact: Is the character of Hussie dead by the time narrator-Hussie talks to Caliborn within the narrative, as I showed above? Because that could very easily explain why he can hear him; if Hussie is Dead, then that falls naturally within the realm of Time, and as the Lord of Time (albeit a Failed one), Caliborn could hear him better.  

[theaetherwitch]

Ethics in Magick: A Gray Understanding

- from my grimoire

An Important Thing to Note

As preface to this article, i would like to say these are simply my own opinions. These opinions are based off my own experiences, and things that I have learned throughout the years. This article is meant to be thought provoking and informative, which can make it lean on the more controversial side. Morality and ethics are very complicated and very touchy. There are many ways to view the world around you and this is simply how I personally view things. Don’t ever feel like this is exactly how things are or how they are going to be, because it’s not. Gray doesn’t come in just one shade, it comes in many.

Everyone views the world around them differently, so take this article with a grain of salt.

Things are More Then They Seem

When talking about ethics in magick, it can be easy to see things in a very black and white manner, ie: good is good, and evil is evil. This is why we see terms like “White Witch” or “Black Magick”. At some point during the long history of The Craft, someone felt the need to draw a thick line between positive and negative aspects. If something is one way, then it must inherently have an opposite. The sun and moon, masculine and feminine, light and dark, black and white, yin and yang. These are all things that have a counterbalance with each other. But as time passes and ideals change, these aspects begin to meld to create something entirely different. The color gray, or as my covenmates like to say “Androgynous Energy”. Energy that is nothing and everything all at the same time. It is not good nor is it evil, it exists in a completely neutral state. And that’s where we’ll begin.

Evil Good, and Good Evil

I’d like to really delve into this topic by saying, yes. There are good things in the world, and there are evil things in the world. No denying that at all, but for the majority of things, theres much more to it. A good example would be someone who shoplifts. On the surface, this is a crime and seen as wrong, and I don’t disagree with that, but take into consideration other things as well. Does this person have food, clothing, and shelter readily available to them? Do they have mouths to feed? Can they afford to support themselves? In some cases, no they don’t, and the only way they can keep themselves or the people around them alive is by stealing. This is still very much a crime, and I don’t condone it, but for some people its all they can do.

You can look at magick much the same. Take hexes for example, something that specifically meant to harm another person. But have you even considered why people hex? Sometimes there is someone or something in your life thats toxic, abusive, and just down right nasty to you and you need to find a way to cut it out or make it understand the error of its ways. That’s where a hex comes in, and why they’re not evil by nature. Sometimes harm is necessary for your own, or another persons well being.

On the other side of that coin are regular spells. Something that is usually used for something positive, but even that has gray areas. Lets say someone casts a wealth spell. Are they doing it because they truly need money coming their way, or are they doing it for greedy and more materialistic reasons? These are questions that you must always ask before jumping to conclusions about someones actions. You never really know what someones intent is, unless they explicitly tell you. Good can very much be evil, just as evil can totally be good.

Think about this scenario. You’re a refugee in a warzone and you have a group of people with you, and you’re hiding and trying to escape death or capture. One of the members of your group is a baby and it begins to cry. Do you cover the babies mouth and risk suffocating the baby, or do you let the baby cry and risk the whole group being found and captured or killed?

What would you do in a situation like that? It’s complicated right? That’s what happens with morality in general. Things can get very convoluted and very hard to understand, that’s why looking at things from someone else’s perspective is very important. Nothing is black, just as nothing is white, there is always going to be more to a situation then just what you see on the surface.

Black Magick vs. White Magick

Personally, I do not like these terms. They make people think that these are the only ways to practice their craft, and gives a very limited view. It can scare someone away from magick, and that's the opposite effect we want. The craft has already almost died before, we want it to grow and prosper and that requires people who practice, but that's besides the point. There is no inherant good or bad magick, there are only good and bad intentions of the practitioner.

Think of fire. In the wrong hands, fire can devistate not just a home, but an entire neighborhood or even city. But in the right hands, it completely changed how people grew and evolved. But just because fire can cause harm, does that make fire bad? No. What can make fire bad is someone who is handling it without proper knowledge of how to use it. Magick, like fire, is a tool, and it's up to the person using the tool to use it properly

Ethical Hexing: A Summary

Hexing, while commonly seen as a negative thing can very easily be turned on its head to become something positive. Honestly, Im going to make an entire seperate article on this, but I can give a really good example of how a hex can be positive. And I want you to think about this one and when/if you decide to perform a hex.

One of my covenmates has a hex that he will use if someone has done something majorly wrong to either him or a friend (things like abuse, assault, or manipulation and lying). "May they see the error of their ways" is the name of the hex. Yes, it is still entirely meant to cause harm, but that is only a short term effect. Someone realizing they've done something wrong can be a hard pill to swallow and open up alot of regrets in a persons mind, but in tern that gives them the chance to fix what they've done wrong and start becoming a better person. This hex can help turn someones life around.

If you're going to hex someone, think about how you're going to word it and think about what your true intentions are. Pick your words carefully and really think about how you want it to affect this person. Remember the wise words of the wendigo "The anger in your heart warms you now, but will leave you cold in your grave". Things that go around have a tendency to come back around, so when hexing someone make sure you're doing it for the right reasons, and not to just hurt someone for the hell of it.

And when it comes to hexing, I see nothing wrong with it in the long run. Negative emotions are something that everyone deals with, everyone. And sometimes you need to find a way to express these emotions, especially if there is a particular person who has caused them. Hexing, in the right context, can help you release this pent up emotion and keep you from exploding. Magick doesn't always have to be unicorns and rainbows.

Ethics of Love Spells

This is another place where magick can very much become gray. Love spells are something that I see plently of people on Tumblr practicing and honestly, my responce to that is a positive one, because I haven't seen (so far at least) anyone trying to force a particular person to love them. And thats very important when it comes to any matters in love. When making a love spell, don't try to force a specific person to bend to your will because it has very high chance of failing completely and blowing up in your face. Love spells work best when they're as vague as possible because that gives the universe the chance to bring someone to you that you actually belong with instead of just someone you think you belong with.

If you're making a love spell at a particular person, try to consider that persons feelings too, and put yourself in their shoes. Would you want someone creepily trying to force you to love them? Probably not. Other peoples feelings are just as important as your own. This brings me to my last topic.

Consent

Like in the physical world, consent in spiritual matters is just as important. Someones spiritual life and being are sacred to them, and unless they tell you it's okay to start meddling. DONT. Never try to perform any sort of healing or psychic surgery on someone unless they have given you explicit permission, because you could seriously hurt someone in the process. Whether that was your intention or not, it can happen. The spiritual and physical body are heavily connected, and when one is messed up, so is the other. Always, always, always get someones permission if you're doing anything to them other than just sending general positive vibes.

And that's about it! I hope this article made some of you think and that it helps expand your world view a little bit. If anyone has any sort of questions, please feel free to ask.

[smallblanketfort]

do you have tips on taking notes?

yes!! i have many, so i tried to make it easier for you to navigate :)

L O N G post ahead of you, covering lecture notes and readings notes, from a college senior :)

lecture notes:

i suggest using a notebook and pen, physically writing down. it’s easier to study, and since it’s using your body, you have a much higher retention rate on your side than if you use a laptop.

i have used my laptop for taking notes before. it’s easier to take more notes, word for word, but that’s not always helpful. maybe that’s your style, especially if you enjoy rewriting your notes all pretty and more successfully when you get home. i am not that girl. 

more notes does not always equal better! it’s good for you to listen actively, selecting what is important and what is not. i take very thorough notes. i take a lot of notes. if you need notes for a missed class, i. am. your. girl. that doesn’t mean i write out everything word for word. selecting details, clauses, and images really helps me to not only keep up, but also to memorize later. plus, when you’re typing, it’s easier to type all the words out without really processing the whole meaning. remember that dense notes are harder to study

finally, when you write by hand, you can get more creative with your style. occasionally, i’ll web notes out from one, rather than a traditional outline, bc it makes more sense for the topic

it also helps my anxiety! so much! if i force myself to take great in depth notes, then my mind has to dedicate more brain space to the task at hand than to my anxieties.

stick to one of these though. it really sucks to get into a test and realize you didn’t study half of your notes bc you forgot half were on your laptop. it’s awful lol.

if you use a laptop, get used to how it works first. do u know how much i resent trying to switch from a bullet that is under other bullets (like this one, not filled in) to a main point bullet (the ones filled in). it can be so confusing. also make sure you use a program you like. you can take directly into documents, but i find that i really love evernote, as i can make notebooks for classes, stacks of notebooks for my college, and that i can tag notes with specific classes and topics.

if you’re on paper, for fuck’s sake, divide your notebook into sections for classes. keep it all together. those notebooks with handy dandy dividers are so helpful, and they keep you from carrying around 5 notebooks at once.

i wouldn’t worry too much about highlighters and such in class. there’s just so much going on then. save highlighting and color coding for later, and count it as studying.

don’t worry about traditional outlining styles, with roman numerals or whatever. i take notes very simply. bullets/dashes, subnotes under a broad note. 

do it how it makes sense to you! maybe that includes different bullet styles, different places for different types of information (on a simple level, i start writing chapter numbers and titles as far to the left as i can go, over the margins, in bold and capital letters. i also usually go over these later in a certain color marker)

in some classes it is helpful for me to write the topic along the top of the page in a highlighter (color coding is lovely) the main idea/topic for each page. the classes this was most obviously helpful in were astronomy (COMETS or BLACKHOLES etc) and shakespeare (MUCH ADO ACT 2 or ROMEO etc)

it’s easiest to just note page numbers of referenced complex diagrams, as they are usually in your reading or accessible online

your style might look different in each class. whatever works.

note everything (everything) your professor writes on the board. if it’s important enough for your professor to write it, it’s probably important enough for you to write it.

note examples only if it’s helpful for your memory. however, make light note of things like famous people and their science/psych experiments. but in math and such, note! the! examples! and! reasons! will help you so much.

examples that have emotion, imagery, or sound are going to be more helpful. applicable examples are most helpful. good professors will lecture you accordingly. lazy ones will not.

star anything that the professor stresses or hints will be tested. anything that they say is a major theme or whatever.

note main ideas/points/themes, definitions, conclusions, 

use your tests to help you figure out what you need to know. ask questions about the tests too. in every class i’ve taken, i’m totally shocked at how willingly people ask about exam format and how willingly the professor will tell us how it will work. they want you to succeed.

people learn differently! i suggest taking notes in class and later adding touches that help you. count it as study time too. a warm up, if you will. 

if you’re visual, this might include highlighting, color coding, drawing diagrams, etc.

 if you’re an auditory learner, reading the notes out loud and organizing them accordingly, as well as making up rhymes, rhythms and such, might help you. some auditory learners actually like to record lectures and listen to them later. 

if you learn best through movement, rewriting or making flashcards will be great for you.

sometimes professors go really. fuckin. fast. why. idk? but

dont be afraid to ask them to go back a slide bc i guarantee, you will be the class hero for asking

develop a little bit of shorthand. sometimes i end up using initials, arrows, abbreviations… this is where i got “bc” and “thru” and “u” and such. lol. also, list things vertically, rather than using commas and “and/&/+) it’ll be more clear later

some professors you literally cannot take notes on. it sucks. you’re going to need to do the readings and pick their brains on how the test will be to figure out how to prepare. take home tests are your best friend. thank god for them. seriously. get your butt to church and do some worshipping.

if your professor puts powerpoints online, save the powerpoints, ya never know.

look at inspiration if you want, but remember that notes on studyblr are usually copied from class notes. if you’re too focused on how pretty your notes are, good luck to you

finally, the day before an exam, i review my notes that i have (hopefully) been studying. i like to make a one page cheat sheet / study guide on everything i didn’t remember, leaving out everything i understand, memorized, or want to disregard. 

reading notes:

ima be real and tell you i hardly ever do reading unless i will be tested on it in class in multiple choice. and im an english student. ye i suck, i know. i dont condone shirking the system but u know what, reading shakespeare or 18th century lit literally makes me want to kill myself. so, im a senior in college, and have barely ever done the reading for a class. the thing is, if you do it right, anything is better than just reading the words on the page and not getting the meaning. dont be a reading zombie. read actively, even if it’s not the actual reading. doing this, i have a 3.9 gpa. so. there’s hope for us yet.

first of all, yall need to do your damn reading. idc how. but due to the fact that a test will be multiple choice, essay answer, a presentation, or a paper, you’re going to not love pulling nothing out of your ass. can be done tho. just be fake deep.

that being said, i’m writing a lot below, but the reality is that if it’s lit, your notes dont have to be longer than a sentence. if it’s a textbook, more.

the same formatting question comes into play here, except it’s should you take notes in your book or in a notebook?

listen i’m always going to be pro notebook, pro physically writing it out as it helps me really get the information into my head, rather than more passively highlighting

i tend to do both, if im willing to mark up a book. i underline and highlight things that stick out to me, and i write them down as well. sometimes when reading literature/essays, if i know the contextual/meaning notes will be interesting to me later, i will copy notes both into my notebook and also less in depth onto post it notes (which also make sweet little flashcards btw), which i will stick into the passage. this is so helpful when a) im reading it again later and b) when we are discussing a passage in class

buy used books. it’s cheaper. until it happens to u, u do NOT UNDERSTAND how EXCITING it is to get a book that has highlights and underlines in it ALREADY. DUDE. my work is basically DONE for me. now take that lightly, bc often different ppl will highlight different pieces of information. however, it is helpful.

look up summaries. do not simply rely on cliffsnotes and sparknotes, esp since professors are very aware of these. google “title of book, summary, chapter notes, whatever youre looking for” and use the blog posts, the book reviews, the papers that come up. does this method probably take a bit longer? maybe? but it’s easier on my tired brain.

if you don’t have time to read your textbook one day and really want to, read the introduction and the conclusion to the chapter, or the first and last sentences to the paragraphs. it’s not great, but it’s something.

like your lectures, note definitions, conclusions, and helpful examples, as well as people and dates. if i’m reading literature and i’m deciding to be a smart student i will keep several logs as well. these logs will make it so. easy. to study for your exam:

updated character lists, including name, relationships, and anything defining and important

scene/chapter summaries, just a sentence summarizing what happened where

any quotes or themes that stand out

i highly highly highly recommend getting your hands on a copy of the well educated mind for note taking on a range of genres. this is what i had to use through high school and while it’s involved, it’s incredibly helpful.

if you’re going to have to cite your notes, note the page number in the margin every time you flip the page

the biggest issue i have with reading is when and where to do it. before or after class? always ask your professor if they do not tell you. where in your notebooks? i always do it on the next blank page bc leaving space stresses me the fuck out. make notes on the top of your pages of corresponding lectures/readings. 

for both lectures and readings i really really really suggest either having something to drink or something to snack on (think fruit, loose nuts, m&ms. small loose things rather than things u bite? idk they just last longer?)

okay i hope this was somewhat helpful even tho it’s an incredibly longwinded post. it seems like a lot, but the reality is that while i take a lot of notes, i don’t make them complicated, i don’t have rules, i just do what feels right in the moment. they’re not at all stressful. just take it easy and do whatever works for you :) 

if anyone has other tips, feel free to reply :)

[40ozalctears]

disorders so stigmatized the only time u see em in the media is if its the reason the villain in the horror movie is so evil!

rather than succintly summarize my resentment for the psychiatric institution and the idea of permanently being on drugs that make you "feel" less is a proper way to treat what is known as "psychosis" i will present you the following thoughts: many people who have done their best to understand what they’ve been thru not as an illness but simply as a very key chain of events in their lives, these ppl echo many of the same issues i have as a "sufferer" of what the powers that be term "schizoaffective disorder". i could go on and on about how the system is flawed and how the barbaric treatment of people in "psychotic" states is a result of fear concerning that which we cannot, and may never know, how the STAGGERING cognitive dissonance of this entire goddam rotten culture shines thru in that, well “it has to be an illness because here in Texas call it an illness and we’re much smarter than them cavern people in nicaragua i’ll ya hwut” i will simply say that the terms "psychosis" and "schizophrenia",  “schizoaffective”, even “bipolar”, what have you, instantly bubble up negative images in our brains.  but who is to say "psychosis" is not actually just a spiritual or inner awakening, a connection with a reality that is not immediately present to most normal humans? i'll tell u who - the psychiatrists who at some point in the road do profit from pharmaceutical companies turning a pretty penny. this sounds very “edgy” and “counter-culture”, admittedly, i wouldn’t say that, but young people on the internet who feel like they’ve seen it all and done it all would say in response. so then who are those who discuss what we, well-dressed and well spoken white people in north america, call "psychosis", as instead this connection to some divine, some mystical force, something unexplainable but nonetheless very there in every day life? these people are the tribes-people of the third world, who are much less concerned with being on-the-dot right about scientific matters, about being exactly correct on many points they might consider not worth knowing, or decadently excessive in pursuing the answers of. these tribes folk take a community approach to the healing of people who lose their touch with reality, often these people are seen as links to another plane of reality, thereby being likely spiritual leaders or, "shaman" the prognosis for first episode psychosis is MUCH better in developing shitholes than here in the great big Canada.  there are actually so many reasons for this it's hard to not be angered by our poor treatment of these people, would-be targets of reverence in societies more concerned with morality or whatever else and less with "Well does God REALLY exist?" im getting tired of typing so 1.rather than talking, trying to understand the message of the person, who (and i can tell you from experience) is drawing MANY conclusions on MANY topics in their "mania", the person is instead called mad and what they say is simply nonsense, thats it thats all, nothing to see here folks, go home, game of thrones is on tonight, you got some shitty memes to tag your friend in.  2.overpopulation, its not feasible to treat people properly. medicate them, out of sight, out of mind  3. to keep the narrative of the perfect social servant is unerring and stoic in their "sanity", their "grasp of reality", that when someone clearly loses this so so important "grasp", they are made to be feared, or in many cases, a laughing stock. so in conclusion, excuse me for being hesitant to take these goddam pills that actually make me feel less and remember less of my life just for the removal of whatever chance there is that i F*CKING start scaring people for my thoughts and actions, because everyone's so in their little bubble of little consideration and zero imagination, skittish and ready to drop the hatchet on whatever doesn't fit into what they've come to expect, excuse me for being reticent to seriously state my beliefs when the stigma that follows this sort of of thing literally makes people delusional to the benefit of the the bottom line of a money-burning society, that actually clings to the current economic and political systems for fear of God forbid learning too much??!?!?  without going too deep into this - have you considered that your neurosis became my neurosis in how my, what you call "illness", was handled? so now i'm essentially condemned to a life of a medication that slows my metabolism, makes me hungry at night, whatever else, according to medical professionals that you will 100% of the time trust over me, unless i taper off or quit cold turkey and deal with literally the rest of my life worried that one day im gonna snap and get tazed, tackled by cops again, the whole fuckin song n dance.  excuse me for being crass, but i've had quite enough of believing that this dormant beast in my brain that only reared its head ONE YEAR after the initial case, with no symptoms leading up to the 2014 hospitalization, is an "illness" like diabetes or some cardiovascular condition.  i think it's time you listened to me, and understood that my perspective and the perspective of others who have been str8 ragdolled around by cops, nurses, pants cut off, tied to a bed, locked in a room, whatever horro movie type shit u could imagine, their and my perspective is tenfold more valuable than any psychiatrist, no matter how well spoken and well read.

[willsherjohnkhan]

The Homeless Network

Follow up to The League of Red-Headed Gentlemen

RATED: Mature

Chapter 1: The Eyes & Ears of London

***

For all intents and purposes the homeless were invisible. Or at least they were to the many Londoners’ that rushed past them. They moved along as quickly as they could, never making eye contact or sparing a thought as to what would lead someone to choose to live life rough on the streets.

It was this aspect that made The Homeless Network the invaluable asset that they were. They saw and heard all manner of things that they weren’t supposed to.

People were so careless around them. They didn’t care what they said and did in front of them. The homeless they regarded as non-entities, having little to no value.

Sherlock Holmes knew better.

Being one of them for a time had taught him that.

***

Chapter 2: Old Habits

***

DRUG DEN SOMEWHERE IN LONDON – THE PRESENT

It had been three months since he’d last seen her. Not since that night, the night when she had been the one to deduce him and what he’d known about The Red Headed League.

He had tried to talk to her, see her since then. But she’d refused, even going so far as to restrict his access to the morgue at Bart’s so that he wasn’t permitted to enter if it was her shift.

She said she still needed time.

It hadn’t occurred to him how much his unwillingness to share with her what he knew would hurt her. In fact, he still wasn’t sure he understood.

He hadn’t deduced quite how she’d react. He’d been so confident that he could talk her round.

But he couldn’t.

Instead he’d lost her.

*

“Sheeza,” Billy Wiggins shook the unconscious man with growing urgency. But there was no response.

He lifted a limp wrist, noting the multiple injection sights that resembled a pincushion. The drug had been injected recently, and of a high dosage, if ‘Sheeza’s’ comatose state was anything to go by.

An intervention was needed, and for that Billy was going to need help, and he knew exactly where to go.

***

DR J. H. WATSON’S MEDICAL PRACTICE

John Watson let out a sigh of relief when his last patient for the day left. It had been an extremely busy day, and all he wanted to do was go home to his wife and baby daughter and relax.

What he didn’t need was a possibly drug affected madman barging into his surgery. He was just getting ready to wrestle the man out when the man said.

“Sheeza’s in a bad way Doc. I’m real worried about ‘im.”

He immediately recognised the man as one of Sherlock’s Homeless Network. It was his self-appointed protégé, Wiggins.

Without a second thought John responded. “Take me to him.”

Wiggins eagerly obeyed.

***

DRUG DEN

But when they got there, Sherlock was gone.

The only sign that he’d been there was a hand written note he’d left pinned to the wall.

‘You can’t help me this time John, no one can. Tell Molly I’m sorry, for everything.’ SH

*

DRUG DEN – AN HOUR EARLIER

As soon as Billy had rushed off, Sherlock knew where he was headed. It was time for him to move on.

He quickly scribbled a note, collected the few belongings he had with him and headed back out on the streets.

***

THE STREET’S OF LONDON

With the drugs still in his system, Sherlock was finding it difficult to concentrate. It usually took him a couple of hours on average to come down from his drug-induced high. But circumstances had meant that he had been forced to leave before he had his cognitive faculties back in order.

That and the fact it been several years since he’d last seriously indulged. The Magnussen case didn’t count, he’d made sure that he’d only used enough to give the impression he was back on drugs.

Absently he rubbed his cheek as he remembered Molly’s reaction after she’d performed the drug test John had requested.

**

ST BART’S PATHOLOGY LAB

The usually sweet, adorable Molly was nowhere to be seen as she let rip, slapping him twice on one cheek, once on the other.

Shaking with an uncontrolled mixture of rage and disappointment, she looked him right in the eye as she vented her feelings. “How dare you throw away the beautiful gifts you were born with, and how dare you betray the love of your friends. Say you’re sorry.”

**

How he wished she’d reacted the same way when she’d worked out that Irene Adler had been behind The Red Headed League. At least then it would have brought everything to a head.

But as things were, with her unwillingness to see or speak to him about it made him fear that she was withdrawing from him, not just physically but emotionally as well.

When she’d slapped him that day in the lab it had shown absolutely how much she still cared.

And if she no longer did…

The very thought made him stumble to a halt. Leaning against the nearest hard surface, Sherlock allowed his suddenly wobbly legs to collapse under him as he slid down to the cold, hard pavement.

He sat lost in thought.

He needed Molly, wanted her… loved her.

But had he ever told her? Shown her how irreplaceable she was to him?

Damn the drugs, they were making him overly sentimental. He shook his head vigorously in a vain attempt to clear his mind of such thoughts.

What he wouldn’t give now for a case…

***

THE STREET’S OF LONDON – EIGHT YEARS BEFORE

Pain, that told him that he’d been lying in the awkward position for quite some time. The cold, hard, gritty surface that rubbed against his stubbled cheek indicated he was outside. The vibrations of cars as they made there way at regular intervals led to there being only one logical conclusion about his current whereabouts.

Slowly raising his head that felt like it weighed twice what it should, he silently ordered his eyes that preferred to remain ignorant to open and face the harsh reality and inescapable truth.

He way laying facedown in a gutter on the side of the road, with no memory of how he ended up there.

Morphine was his current opiate of choice.

Drug’s helped to calm the constant clamour in his mind. They slowed the chaos going on within his brain. They reduced the loud voices down to a gentle murmur. They relaxed him, and let him sleep.

That is what he told himself over and over as he attempted to focus on his surroundings.

As his vision gradually cleared he became aware of a pair of battered old boots inches from his face.

“You look as if you’re in need of help,” noted the owner of the boots in a gruff but kindly voice. “I think I can help you there.”

***

Chapter 3: A Brother's Account

***

THE DIOGENES CLUB, VISITOR’S ROOM – THE PRESENT

Mycroft Holmes led John into the only room where speaking was permitted before closing the door securely behind them.

He made his way over to a chair in the middle of the room. Before sitting he poured himself a large whisky and indicated for John to sit in the chair opposite.

“What do I owe the honour of this visit?” he asked, though John was certain he already knew.

“Information,” he replied.

“Concerning?” it was clear Mycroft was still miffed over the events of The Red Headed League and was determined to draw things out as long as possible.

Except John wasn’t in the mood to play games. He’d come to get answers and he wasn’t leaving until he got them. “I need to know about Sherlock…”

“I don’t know where he is.”

Refusing to allow Mycroft’s petulant attitude to deter him. John leaned forward and pointed out. “I didn’t ask you where he was Mycroft. And before you say anything further I know bloody well that you do know where he is, you always do.”

Something in the former army doctor’s expression warned Mycroft to tread carefully when he responded. “What is it you want to know?” he finally asked in resignation.

John relaxed back into his chair. “I want to know about Sherlock’s drug addiction. When did it begin, and why?”

Mycroft’s expression became thoughtful as he observed the man sitting opposite him. It was clear that the minor government official was debating how much he should reveal.

“You have to understand John,” he began. “Sherlock and I found it extremely difficult dealing with the average person. We’ve both become more adept at it as adults, but while we were growing up it was incredibly difficult.”

John knew on a rudimentary level the difficulties that child prodigies suffered. But he needed details. Details specific to Sherlock.

“Such as?”

Mycroft let out a dramatic sigh. “The usual,” he began. When John leant forward once again he quickly went into specifics, or at least those details that would be pertinent to John’s understanding of what made Sherlock the way he was. “It may surprise you to learn John, but as a young boy Sherlock was a very sensitive child.”

“Go on.”

“The young Sherlock fully embraced the concept of sentiment, despite my best efforts to educate him on such a folly.”

“I’m sure you did.” John noted wryly.

“Things especially came to a head with Redbeard.”

“Redbeard?”

Mycroft raised an eyebrow in surprise. “He’s never mentioned Redbeard?”

John shook his head.

“Interesting.”

“Who’s Redbeard?”

“You should ask him when you see him next. Suffice it to say that the little boy who dreamed of being a pirate needed a first mate and he found the perfect one in Redbeard.”

“What happened?” John asked, though he was fairly confident he knew the answer.

“Redbeard died,” Mycroft responded. “Heartbroken he came to me to teach him how to block sentiment and all other painful and unnecessary emotions.”

“That was good of you,” John noted, not bothering to hide his sarcasm.

“Sadly Sherlock was not the best of students. I could get him to a certain point and then he’d try to make friends, impress others, and try to be accepted by his peers. It always ended in tears. And then he went off to university.”

“What happened at uni?”

“He was introduced to drugs,” Mycroft stated simply. “They became his solution for distancing himself from the distraction and destructive forces of emotional entanglements.”

“And what did you do about it?”

“Once we became aware of just how bad the situation was he was placed in one of England’s most prestigious rehabilitation facilities.”

“Did it work?”

“To a point.”

“How many times has he relapsed between then and now?”

“A handful of times. But minor in comparison to this latest episode.”

Cautiously John queried. “And what do you put that down to?”

Mycroft smiled coolly. “Since meeting you Sherlock has once again opened himself up to the possibilities offered by sentiment. His recent attachment to Doctor Hooper has certainly made him extremely vulnerable to the emotions surrounding matters of the heart. This is one area for which he has little experience. The emotion not the physical act.”

When John made no comment, Mycroft clarified his statement.

“It amuses me that so many people assume Sherlock is a virgin. But I can assure you that my little brother while high on whatever drug of choice he happened to be on, has had his fair share of sexual encounters. As to whether he remembers the exact details, well I’ll leave that to your… imagination.”

Observing Mycroft’s smug, self-satisfied smirk had John getting up from his seat and without a backward glance leaving the room. If he stayed a moment longer he knew that there was a fair to reasonable chance that he would have done something he knew he wouldn’t have regretted.

***

SALVATION ARMY SOUP KITCHEN – EIGHT YEARS BEFORE

Old Harry as the old man had introduced himself, led Sherlock to a table where they both sat and began to eat the food on their trays.

At least Sherlock attempted to. Except that every mouthful he ate might as well have been sawdust for the lack of taste.

He observed the others around him. Everyone else seemed to be chowing down their meals with relish. Some were even going up to get seconds.

Confused by his inability to taste the food in front of him, his nose soon gave him a clue as it began to twitch with distaste.

It was then that Sherlock became acutely aware of the fragrant hum that permeated the air around him.

It came from the other people who sat at their table.

“Ah now, none of that,” Harry said a little impatiently, having clearly interpreted Sherlock’s thoughts. “We’re all equals here.”

Sherlock opened his mouth to respond but was silenced by the stern expression of his companion.

“There’s a lot you have to learn Sherlock if you want to survive on the streets,” Harry stated firmly. “The first is that you leave your airs and graces behind you, they wont serve you here. The second is acceptance of your fellow street dwellers. You’re now in the same position as them. Treat them with respect and they’ll teach you how to survive. Remember that.”

***

THE STREETS OF LONDON - THE PRESENT

Sherlock was knocked out of his Mind Palace when his head was smacked hard against the building where he was currently sitting.

“Sherlock!” came the desperate plea from a young woman who was crouched down in front of him. She shook him vigorously again to make sure she had his attention.

He instantly recognised her as a member of his Homeless Network.

She looked scared.

“What’s happened Alice?”

Alice got to her feet before pulling Sherlock to his. “This way,” she said as she grabbed hold of his hand and dragged him down the street.

*

SEVERAL BLOCKS AWAY

Alice led Sherlock to a little park.

“Over there,” she said pointing in the direction of some bushes.

Sherlock made his way over. It didn’t take him long to discover what Alice had brought him to see.

Lying under the bush as if asleep was a homeless man. Pinned to his shirt was a note. It read:

‘The labour of the righteous leads to life; the activity of the wicked leads to sin.’

Sherlock stared at the note for several minutes. Its implications bringing back unwelcome memories.

It was happening again.

***

Chapter 4: Housekeeping

***

HYDE PARK – EIGHT YEARS BEFORE

He knew Harry was dead even before he checked his pulse. The old man’s skin was cold to the touch, so he’d been dead some time.

Sherlock frowned. Harry had recently moved into temporary accommodation provided by The Salvation Army. There was no reason for him to be living rough, yet here he was.

An initial inspection showed that his few personal possessions were not on him. They would have been of no monetary value to anyone wishing to steal them. And anyway, if anyone had attempted to take them Harry would’ve put up a fight for them. Yet it was clear that no such altercation had taken place. There were no marks of violence upon the body that Sherlock could see. In fact in his current position, resting as he was curled up on his side, Harry presented an image of one who was at peace.

Given his age, somewhere between 65-70, coupled with his poor health that Sherlock had deduced had not been good for a number of years and hadn’t been improved by living on the streets, his death could hardly be regarded as suspicious.

And yet… something wasn’t right.

Crouching down, Sherlock began examining the body more closely.

A quick smell of his mouth had Sherlock wrinkling his nose at the telltale scent of vomit. But he could detect no sign of alcohol, Harry’s main vice and the cause of his decent into homelessness.

Sitting back on his haunches Sherlock sat in silent contemplation. There was any number of plausible explanations for the old man’s death. Natural causes, an undiagnosed heart condition.

These explanations were simple, straightforward and to the point.

But wrong.

Why?

Sherlock again leant down over the body, as he did so he caught a whiff of something. It wasn’t aftershave, or perfume, or any type of soap or lotion that he was aware of. The scent tickled at the edges of his consciousness, but before he could name it, it had slipped free, vanishing into the breeze.

His attention was suddenly caught by a slip of paper clutched in the old man’s hand.

A closer examination was enough to convince Sherlock that the paper had been placed in Harry’s hand after death.

Unwilling to disturb the body lest he contaminate any evidence, he attempted to read what had been scribbled on the paper.

‘… feed many, but fools die for lack…’

Sherlock re-read the words several times, but could make little sense of them.

He was certain that they’d been written for a reason, but he was at a loss as to their exact meaning.

What to do then?

The Police he knew would need to be contacted. But would they be concerned over the death of yet another vagrant who chose to live on the street?

There was nothing for it. Official channels needed to be put into action. Sherlock was convinced that once the police saw the note, which in itself indicated that Harry’s death couldn’t be regarded as natural or accidental. That left only one logical explanation. It was murder, premeditated murder.

***

221B BAKER STREET – THE PRESENT

John had no sooner opened the front door than Mrs Hudson came rushing out of her flat.

It was apparent from her crestfallen expression that she’d hoped the one walking through the door would be Sherlock. But she quickly rallied her spirits, ushering the doctor into her flat. “Come in John, come in.”

But no matter how cheerful she tried to sound it was clear she was worried.

“Sit down John,” she insisted as she busied herself with preparing them both a cup of tea. “Any news?” she asked as she brought the cups over to the table where John was seated.

He waited until she had sat down before replying. “Not as yet.”

The hope in the landlady’s eyes died.

“I’m certain Mycroft and Lestrade are keeping an eye out for him and Wiggins is checking with the homeless network. He’ll be found soon and I’m sure he’ll be fine, this is Sherlock we’re talking about,” John attempted to reassure her.

Unfortunately his words had the opposite effect, leaving her looking even more distressed.

John reached over, taking one of her hands in his. “Can you tell me anything about Sherlock’s younger days? Mycroft said he started using drugs at uni…”

“I don’t know that it’s really my place to say,” Mrs Hudson replied.

“I need to understand,” John pleaded.

Mrs Hudson took a deep breath. “Very well, I’ll tell you what I can,” she said. “What do you want to know?”

“The drug use, how bad was it?”

“I don’t know the full details of Sherlock’s drug addiction, what I’ve been told is largely second hand. If you require a more detailed account you need to speak to his mother.”

John nodded. “I understand.”

“University instead of being the ideal solution ended up becoming a total nightmare. Sherlock’s parents thought that by going to university he might finally start making friends. And he did, just not the type they were hoping for,” Mrs Hudson paused to collect her thoughts. “By the time they found out about his drug use, he’d already been experimenting with a wide range. He claimed he was doing it as part of a science experiment, ‘the affects of narcotics on a superior mind’. Then when they got him into rehab he caused a hullabaloo, demanding they give him his drugs because they helped to calm and quieten his mind.”

John had only witnessed Sherlock’s drug use once to his knowledge. But he had seen the affects prolonged drug use had on people and how they behaved when they couldn’t get their next fix.

“Were drugs his only vice?”

“John,” Mrs Hudson admonished gently. “You know the answer to that as well as I do.”

John shrugged. “Just checking. So Sherlock was already putting his deductive skills to use?” he asked distractedly as he remembered Sherlock telling him about his first case, Carl Powers as well as the comments made by one of Sherlock’s former uni associates at the time of the case he’d chronicled under the title The Blind Banker.

“Well he had to put that colossal brain of his to some practical use,” Mrs Hudson noted with a smile. “Though to be fair the idea of turning his rather unorthodox observational skills and using them in a professional manner wasn’t Sherlock’s idea at all.”

This was news to John, the second time that day that he’d heard something about Sherlock that he had no knowledge of. He certainly did appear drawn to people who either had secrets or knew how to keep them.

“So who’s idea was it?” he asked.

“Sherlock did have one friend at university, Victor Trevor. He found Sherlock’s abilities intriguing, where others were made uncomfortable by them.”

“They wouldn’t be the last.” John noted dryly.

“No,” Mrs Hudson agreed. “Anyway, Victor had told his father all about Sherlock, and his father was likewise curious about these amazing abilities. So at term break Mr Trevor invited Sherlock to accompany Victor to the family home. It was Victor’s father who spotted a potential career choice for the gifts that up until then Sherlock used mainly to relieve boredom.”

“Well at least we now know who to blame,” John joked, but immediately became serious when he saw Mrs Hudson’s expression.

“What happened?” he asked.

“Mr Trevor may have had an ulterior motive for asking Sherlock to visit. It turned out that he had become the victim of a blackmailer, someone he knew from his younger days.”

“Was Sherlock able to help out?”

“I believe so,” Mrs Hudson nodded. “But not before Mr Trevor died. The probable cause was a stress related heart attack.”

“Was Sherlock involved in many cases after that?”

“The odd one or two. After university he moved to London and rented a flat in Montague Street. It was while there that another former university associate, Reginald Musgrave engaged him concerning the disappearance of an employee.”

“How did that case turn out?”

“Not well for the employee, he was found dead. He’d come across a family heirloom belonging to the Musgrave family. Something called The Musgrave Ritual. To Reg and previous generations of his family it was nothing more than a silly children’s nursery rhyme. But this employee realised that the words of the rhyme were in fact directions.”

“To what?”

“Buried treasure.”

“You’re kidding me!” John exclaimed.

“No dear,” Mrs Hudson shook her head. “All true. And what’s more, they found it.”

“What was it?”

“I believe it was the crown of Charles I, but you’d need to verify that with Sherlock.”

Mrs Hudson got up, collected their cups and took them over to the sink.

“So that’s how Sherlock became a consulting detective,” John mused aloud.

“Oh no,” Mrs Hudson corrected. “That happened about, oh, eight years or so ago. Sherlock was using drugs again and was living on the streets at the time. I seem to remember there was something about the death of an elderly homeless man. If you want more details you might want to speak to Inspector Lestrade, its how they met.”

John got up and walked over to his former landlady and gave her a kiss on the cheek, before heading out. “Thanks Mrs H, I’ll do that.”

“Keep me informed if you hear anything,” Mrs Hudson called out after him.

“Will do,” John replied.

***

Chapter 5: The Police Report

***

NEW SCOTLAND YARD – THE PRESENT

When John walked into Lestrade’s office, the detective inspector remarked. “I wondered when you’d get to me.”

“How did you…?” John began as he took a seat opposite.

Lestrade snorted in annoyance. “I have been in the Police Force over twenty years, John,” he remarked. “I may not possess Sherlock’s particular skill-set, but I am perfectly capable of working out certain things, especially when they concern me as well,” he paused briefly before continuing. “You’re concerned about Sherlock, and you’ve been attempting to understand the man before you knew him, in the hope that it will help to make sense of why he has chosen to go back to a life on the streets.”

“Is that how you first met him?” John asked, genuinely curious. “On the streets.”

***

HYDE PARK – EIGHT YEARS BEFORE

Sherlock stood guard over Harry’s body, having sent another homeless person to fetch the police.

But when the Police eventually turned up, Sherlock was left disappointed and dismayed by their lack of professionalism.

After almost completely trampling the ground around the body, and a brief examination of Old Harry’s body, the detective in charge was of the opinion that the death was not suspicious. Detective Jones was satisfied that it was clearly an open and shut case of suicide, nothing more.

Before Sherlock could point out the features of interest that his own examination had found, the police had departed the scene, far quicker than the time it had taken them to arrive.

Sherlock stood where he was a moment, completely stunned.

But once Harry’s body was taken away Sherlock was determined that his mentor and friend would receive justice.

***

NEW SCOTLAND YARD – EIGHT YEARS BEFORE

Detective Inspector Greg Lestrade had just settled into his chair in his new office when he became aware of a commotion. Sighing in resignation he reluctantly got up from his seat and went to investigate the ruckus.

What he found was a couple of constables attempting to restrain a young homeless man. But it was clear he was not your regular deadbeat down-and-out. This young man was tall, with a mass of unruly curly hair, had a bearing and grace about him. He also possessed a very commanding voice and attitude. Clearly someone used to getting his own way.

“Anyone with eyes can see it wasn’t suicide,” the man stated in growing agitation.

Detective Jones looked at the man with unconcealed contempt. The last thing he needed was some posh git, who clearly dabbled a bit too often with illegal narcotics, cocaine would be his guess, trying to lord it over him. It was clear that despite his current situation he’d come from a well-to-do upbringing. As far as Jones was concerned all the young man’s airs and graces, and so-called connections stood for naught compared to the facts at hand.

“It was suicide,” he snarled. “Life had become too hard on the street…”

“He’d moved into accommodation provided by the Salvation Army.”

“He’d left a note.”

“Some random quote from the Bible, not written in his own hand.”

“He’d overdosed.”

“Alcohol was Harry’s vice, not drugs.”

The young man intrigued Lestrade. He was clearly intelligent, but his attitude would likely see him being charged, with insubordination and thrown in the slammer, if Jones’ expression was anything to go by.

Stepping forward Lestrade addressed his comments to the young man. “Why don’t we take this conversation into my office, yeah?”

The man looked at Lestrade, assessing him and his sincerity. Whatever he read had him relaxing and nodding his head in agreement.

The constables immediately released him and he followed Lestrade into his office.

***

NEW SCOTLAND YARD – THE PRESENT

“So was it suicide?” John asked.

“That was the official finding. But Sherlock never believed it.”

“Well he wouldn’t, would he?”

“No,” Lestrade replied, though it was clear he was lost in thought.

John got to his feet. “Thanks Greg. Let me know if you hear anything.”

“Yeah, will do.” Lestrade responded as he too got to his feet and lead John to the door.

*

Ten minutes after John left, Sherlock barged into his office.

“It’s happening again Lestrade. We have to do something.”

Apart from his clothes and his unkempt appearance, Sherlock appeared no different than his normal demanding self. A little agitated maybe…

“I’m fine Lestrade,” Sherlock snapped quickly becoming frustrated with the detective inspectors lack of response to his request.

Lestrade shook his head ruefully. ‘Yep, same old Sherlock.’ “What’s happening again?”

*

As Sherlock finished his explanation, Lestrade’s mobile rang.

“Yeah, right. We’ll be there shortly.” Putting his phone away, he grabbed his jacket. “Your homeless person has been taken to the morgue at Barts. Coming?”

Instead of barging off ahead as was usual with Sherlock, he hung back. Lestrade knew why the consulting detective was hesitating. Going to Barts meant seeing Molly. Lestrade had absolutely no idea what had gone wrong with Sherlock and Molly’s relationship. Neither of them would talk about it. But it is clear that being apart wasn’t making either of them any happier.

“You can’t avoid her forever Sherlock,” he said. “At some point you’re going to have to face Molly, and it might as well be now.”

***

Chapter 6: Straight to the Heart

***

BART’S MORGUE – THE PRESENT

Molly waited anxiously for Lestrade and Sherlock to arrive. Greg had texted her that they were on their way.

She hadn’t seen Sherlock for several months. She’d needed time to get over the hurt she had felt on realising that he had known all along that Irene Adler had been behind The Red-Headed League. At the time she’d convinced herself she was justified, but as weeks turned into months she realised that she may have overreacted. At the very least she should have allowed Sherlock to explain.

At that moment a dishevelled and clearly uncomfortable Sherlock entered the morgue in the company of Lestrade, Molly thought her heart would break, he looked so lost, so unsure of himself. Without hesitation she made her way over to Sherlock and drew him aside so they could speak in private.

Sherlock braced himself, remembering clearly the last time he’d faced Molly when he’d temporarily returned to using drugs. At least then it had been for a case.

But her response to his appearance this time had nothing to do with anger.

“I’m so sorry, Sherlock for the way I behaved,” she began.

“You’re…you’re sorry?” the consulting detective responded, clearly taken aback by her words.

“Yes,” she confirmed as tears welled up in her expressive eyes. “Can you forgive me for the way I acted? I have no excuse other than that I was afraid…”

‘Afraid?’

This was not at all how he’d imagined this conversation would go. He’d been so certain that Molly would be disgusted by him and angry that he slipped back into substance abuse. Instead she was pleading for his forgiveness.

“Afraid? Why were you afraid?” he queried, his voice cracking with emotions so long suppressed. Then a worrying thought occurred to him. “Not of me…?”

“No! No, no,” Molly hastily assured him.

“Then why?” he asked, now genuinely confused.

“I shouldn’t have walked out that night, after The League of Red-Headed Gentlemen case had been sorted. I should have had more faith in you… Trusted you.”

Though Molly had started her explanation calmly, she soon became more emotional.

“I was afraid that you would tire of me before our relationship ever got a chance to develop. I was so certain that you’d get bored with me, and had even convinced myself that that was possibly why our relationship hadn’t gone any further…intimately speaking.”

Molly cringed as she heard the words she was speaking aloud. It all sounded so ridiculous, but she conceded that’s what happened when you allowed your insecurities to take control. Taking a deep breath she finished her explanation. “It seemed to be the only explanation for your not confiding in me about…” She paused briefly, glancing over at Lestrade, who was doing a terrible job of trying to not look like he was watching the couple. “That woman,” she finished quietly, so that only Sherlock could hear.

“You can’t honestly believe that I would ever leave you for…” Sherlock responded in disbelief.

But the look on Molly’s face brought him up short. And he instantly berated himself for not recognising Molly’s need for a little reassurance. In his defence he was still very new to the whole relationship thing. His previous encounters nothing more than sexual liaisons, a means to ridding himself of pent up sexual frustration without the emotional entanglements associated with developing a loving relationship with a significant other. And that too was probably why their relationship hadn’t gone any further than kissing and cuddling. He’d feared that once they’d become sexually intimate, ‘made love’, then that would be the trigger for him to pull away before he became too emotionally involved.

With a rueful laugh, Sherlock gathered Molly into his arms. “Oh Molly mine,” he murmured into her ear. “What fools we’ve been.”

Molly released a sigh of heartfelt relief and nodded her head in agreement as she wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled up against the reassuring beat of his heart.

A subtle clearing of a throat was enough to remind Sherlock that he was at Barts for a reason. With great reluctance he released his hold on Molly and stepped back.

“So,” he said, as he cleared his throat and made his way over to the covered corpse, and waited for Molly to join him.

“I’ll let you know my findings,” Molly promised him. “And I’ll compare what I find with what appeared in the pathology reports from the original case.”

Sherlock turned to Lestrade. It was clear from the cheeky grin he received from the Detective Inspector that he’d contacted Molly before their arrival.

He turned back to Molly. “Well I’ll leave things in your capable hands, while I head bake to Baker Street to change.”

“And have a bath,” Molly added.

Sherlock glared at her, but there was a mischievous glint in his eye. Then to Molly, and Lestrade’s complete surprise Sherlock pulled Molly into his arms and snogged her breathless, before turning to sweep dramatically out of the morgue.

The World’s Only Consulting Detective was back.

***

Chapter 7: Turning Detective

***

221B BAKER STREET – THE PRESENT

When John entered Sherlock’s flat the telltale sound of running water alerted him to the consulting detective’s current location.

Flopping down into his old chair, the former army doctor pulled out his mobile phone and re-read the text he’d received twenty minutes earlier.

Meet me at Baker St. SH

It was the first communication he’d had from his friend following the fallout from the conclusion of The League of Red-Headed Gentlemen case; the brief note left at the drug den notwithstanding.

He was just putting his phone back in his pocket when Sherlock emerged from the bathroom. Though clean-shaven and impeccably dressed, his gaunt appearance spoke volumes about the toll that this latest relapse into addiction had taken on him physically, and no doubt emotionally.

But before John could question him, an agitated Billy Wiggins burst into the room.

“You was right Sheeza.”

In the blink of an eye Sherlock was once again the hard-edged criminal investigator, as he brusquely demanded. “Which one?”

“All three,” came the reply.

Rubbing his hands together, the detective responded excitedly. “Ohhh! Better and better.”

John looked from one to the other in complete and utter confusion, hoping that an explanation would soon be forthcoming. When it became clear that this wasn’t going to happen he decided to remind both men of his presence. “Care to share?”

Sherlock immediately fired off the necessary facts. “The three main suspects in a series of unexplained deaths from eight years ago have returned to the scene of the crime, at the precise moment that more deaths have started occurring.”

John watched his friend closely. There was something about this case that differed from others they’d worked together on. He recalled Greg’s story about the homeless man who’d apparently suicided several years before.

Choosing to test a theory, John finally surmised. “So, someone’s killing homeless people again?”

If Sherlock was surprised he didn’t show it, simply responding “Very good John. I see Lestrade has told you about how The Homeless Network came into being.”

“Not all, but some.” John admitted.

Impatient as he was to get on with his investigation Sherlock knew a brief explanation, for the time being, was needed. “Eight years ago a homeless man I knew died, in somewhat suspicious circumstances.” Though his explanation began calmly enough, the memory of that time caused the usually unflappable detective to become emotional. “Most of the fools at Scotland Yard dismissed the death as suicide. As far as they were concerned it was one less individual living rough for them to worry about. It was clear that the only way to get anything done was to investigate the case myself. To that end I decided to set up a network that I could use to assist me in investigating his death as well as those of other homeless men and women whose deaths all took place around the same time. The obvious choice was those people that these deaths most affected, and it grew from there…”

***

OUTSIDE NEW SCOTLAND YARD – EIGHT YEARS BEFORE

Sherlock was furious when he emerged from New Scotland Yard.

They were all idiots, lazy, incompetent…

Though, to be fair there had been one, Inspector Lestrade, who appeared to be a more than reasonable man, and an above average policeman. But for all that he failed to grasp the gravity of the situation, or the significance of what Sherlock had informed Scotland Yard with regards to his knowledge of the victim and the particular something that, admittedly he still couldn’t place, but for which he was absolutely certain would prove beyond a doubt that Old Harry’s death was due to foul play, and not an open and shut suicide.

But just how he could prove it, that was the problem.

*

HYDE PARK

As Sherlock approached where he’d found Old Harry it was clear that all signs of the police���s involvement had been meticulously removed. In its place a small shrine of flowers had emerged.

Harry had been well respected amongst the homeless. His unexpected death had left many devastated.

A flash of inspiration suddenly took a hold of him. If Scotland Yard wouldn’t investigate, maybe those who had a vested interest in seeing justice done should.

Sherlock felt a growing excitement the more he thought about it, The Homeless Network, perfect! They could go anywhere virtually unseen, or more correctly ignored by the public in general.

A determined glint appeared in his eyes, as he nodded to himself. ‘Yes! This could actually work.’

*

TWO WEEKS LATER…

It had taken Sherlock longer than he’d anticipated, due in part to his not having developed the level of trust and respect that those living rough had for Old Harry.

But once it got around that Sherlock was actively investigating Harry’s case, a number of homeless offered their assistance.

As with any criminal investigation, there was a set of procedures that were rigorously followed and adhered to.

Harry’s movements 24 hours before his death were reconstructed in detail.

Anyone who had seen him during that period was interviewed, with any relevant information carefully noted down.

As information was accumulated it was discovered that the circumstances of Harry’s death strongly resembled those of several other homeless people who had passed away in questionable circumstances over the previous eight weeks.

Sherlock, confident that he now possessed enough information to get a formal police investigation underway, was left frustrated and angry when he efforts were still dismissed.

Only Detective Inspector Lestrade showed any interest and empathy with his efforts, proving himself a trusted ally by allowing Sherlock access to the autopsy reports. Unfortunately whoever had written the report was completely incompetent, with only a cursory investigation into the cause of death. In conclusion the report agreed with the police finding, and simply verified death by suicide.

Sherlock refused to be defeated, he knew there was more to these deaths than met the eye.

As his investigation continued, three people continued to pop up as persons of interest. Sherlock was certain it couldn’t be a coincidence. And if they were involved, were they working separately, or together?

***

221B BAKER STREET – THE PRESENT

“So your suspects were a preacher, a social worker and a evangelistic homeless man,” John clarified.

“Yes.”

“And they came up on your radar why?”

“It’s difficult to put into words,” Sherlock freely admitted. “You just got the feeling that something was off when you were around them, like they had an agenda…”

“A higher calling perhaps,” John suggested.

“Yes, that’s it! That’s it precisely,” Sherlock exclaimed excitedly.

John nodded with growing understanding. He’d heard of similar cases within the medical profession. Rogue doctors performing unethical, and in many cases illegal procedures, under the belief that because of who they were that they had the right.

“Were you not able to get any information into their backgrounds?”

Sherlock shook his head. “As helpful as Lestrade was, he wasn’t prepared to order a background check purely based on the word of a homeless, junkie tosser like me.”

As he spoke Sherlock collected his belstaff and put it on.

John noted the spring was back in his step, and when the consulting detective turned back to him, there was a definite twinkle in his eye.

“It’s a good thing my word carries more weight these days,” Sherlock remarked before he turned and headed out the door with Billy Wiggins trailing after him.

John shook his head in rueful resignation as he got up from the chair and made his way down the stairs.

The game was once again on.

***

Chapter 8: Justice For All

***

SCOTLAND YARD – THE PRESENT

By the time Sherlock, John and Wiggins arrived at his office Lestrade had requested the background checks Sherlock had wanted, but they had not as yet arrived. In the meanwhile he had retrieved the files relating to Old Harry’s death and the others from eight years ago.

Reading through each file it didn’t take Sherlock long to find exactly what he was expecting to see.

“Look here,” he pointed out to the others. “And here, and here, and here.”

All the victims had been found with a note, with a quote from the Bible. All the notes had been handwritten, and even to the untrained eye, now that they were all together, it was clear to see that they were written in the same hand.

So if they’d been written in the same hand? That meant only one thing. “None of these deaths were caused by natural causes or the result of suicide.”

John was now reading through the medical examination. “There were no signs of violence on any of the bodies,” he noted.

“These deaths were planned. And the victims were more than likely poisoned by someone they knew, and trusted.”

“But surely if they’d been poisoned, it would have shown up in the autopsy reports?” Lestrade argued.

“Depends on the type of poison used, and how it was administered.”

At that moment Sherlock’s mobile pinged. It was a text from Molly.

Come to the Barts. Mx

“Send those reports I asked for to Barts Morgue,” Sherlock instructed as he John and Wiggins headed out the door.

***

BART’S MORGUE

Sherlock swept in and immediately made his way over to where Molly stood.

“You’ve found something,” he correctly surmised, indicating the body she’d completed the autopsy on.

“Yes,” Molly responded. “And based on what I’ve read in the autopsy reports on the other victims, they were all killed the same way.”

Sherlock felt vindicated, and relieved. Here was proof that he had been right, Old Harry and the others had been the victims of murder.

“Cause of death?”

“Tellurium.”

Sherlock’s eyebrow shot up in surprise.

“Or to be more specific,” Molly continued. “Tellurium was used first, before a minuscule dose of sodium-tellurite was introduced into their systems. Over a period of time the toxins built up, leading to internal bleeding and ultimately respiratory failure.”

Sherlock nodded his head thoughtfully. “Clever,” he noted softly.

“Clever?” John queried.

“Obviously,” Sherlock replied. When John continued to look slightly perplexed, Sherlock shook his head demanding with some irritation. “You’re a doctor are you not?”

Before John could retaliate at the jibe, Sherlock went into full deductive mode.

“Tellurium in its elemental form at least is not particularly toxic. But the impact from consuming it leads to certain side effects, most notably bad breath and body odour. As the homeless and poor hygiene have become fairly synonymous to the general public, any homeless person showing these symptoms wouldn’t be regarded as cause for concern.”

“Okay,” John readily acknowledged.

“So it would then be easy to now up the ante and change to sodium tellurite which is far more dangerous, yet the effects from its poisoning could be put down to alcoholic poisoning or a drug overdose.”

John nodded in understanding. “So how come it wasn’t picked up in the original autopsy reports eight years ago?”

“Incompetence,” was the detective’s bitter response.

“Testing for a wider range of poisons has advanced considerably over the last eight years,” Molly pointed out feeling a need to defend a former fellow colleague, though she couldn’t quite meet Sherlock’s eye as she said it.

At that moment Lestrade entered the morgue with the background checks Sherlock wanted.

“You didn’t have to bring them yourself Lestrade.”

“Yeah well, decided I might as well,” the inspector said. “On the off chance you found something in here that could lead to an immediate arrest.”

Sherlock took the files. Glancing through them he immediately dismissed Father Francis O’Leary and Capt. Harold Elliott of the Salvation Army as likely suspects.

But the file relating to Dennis Murray, an evangelistic homeless man caught his attention.

Murray had worked for a company that manufactured DVD-Rs and Blurays. After losing his job, he’d had a few run-ins with the police: drunkenness, involved in fights and stalking...

“Well this looks suggestive,” Sherlock remarked. “He’s had access to tellurium, and has an interesting rap sheet. If nothing else it will be enough to bring him in for questioning.”

“But just because he worked in an industry that uses tellurium doesn’t explain how he was able to purchase it. It’s not like you can just buy it at the local supermarket?” Molly pointed out.

“He may still have contacts within the company,” Sherlock noted. “Or he got it through the black market, or possibly the dark web.”

He handed the report back to Lestrade. “The only way we’ll know for certain is to find him. The network still has eyes on him?” he confirmed as he turned to Wiggins.

Wiggins nodded in the affirmative.

“Then I think it’s time for a little chat with Mr Murray.”

***

CHURCH GRAVEYARD – SEVERAL HOURS LATER

She found him standing before the unmarked grave where Old Harry had been buried. He turned as she approached, and she marvelled at the soft look that came into his eyes, a special expression reserved solely for her.

“He confessed?”

Sherlock nodded. “Murray became fanatically religious after the death of his girlfriend, hoping that religion would give him the answers he sought.”

“Answers to what?”

“He was looking for a way to punish whoever killed her, refusing to believe the courts finding of accidental death. He became so obsessed with the notion that he ended up losing his job.”

“And that was how he ended up homeless?”

“No I think that was a deliberate decision. His girlfriend worked at a soup kitchen that helped feed the homeless. He got it into his head that it must have been a homeless person who killed her. By becoming one, he hoped to learn who was responsible,” he paused briefly. “But somewhere along the way, the need to find a potential murderer was overridden by a need to kill those that wouldn’t be missed.”

“So what happens now?” Molly asked, drawing him away from thoughts of a thoroughly disturbed individual.

Sherlock smiled softly. “Now I intend to have Harry’s remains moved and to be buried properly with a decent headstone.”

Molly looked at where Harry currently rested, and she gave silent thanks to the man who had befriended Sherlock all those years ago, certain that if he hadn’t taken him under his wing, Sherlock would not be where he was today.

*

As they exited the cemetery Molly noted that something about the case still troubled Sherlock.

“What’s wrong?” she queried softly. “You’ve finally been able to prove that the deaths were murder, and have caught the person responsible.”

“When I found Harry’s body, I detected a scent, but couldn’t place it. Now that we know what killed him and the others, and the signs. How was it possible that I couldn’t identify what it was?”

Taking his arm as they walked along, Molly pointed out. “To be fair Sherlock, you were, as I understand it, using heavily at that time with a variety of drugs.”

“Drugs have helped in the past to heighten my thought processes...” Sherlock began.

But Molly had not finished her explanation. “By all means tell yourself that all you want. But I’m not talking about deductive reasoning. I’m talking about your sense of smell that can be affected depending on the type of drug you’re on.”

To this Sherlock had to concede that it was a possibility.

As they reached the main road, Sherlock hailed a passing taxi.

“Where to guv?” the taxi driver asked.

Sherlock was about to respond when Molly got in before him, “221B Baker Street, please.”

***

Chapter 9: Moving Forward

***

221B BAKER ST – SHERLOCK’S BEDROOM

A fine sheen of sweat coated the two naked bodies that lay intimately entwined on the bed.

Molly’s hips surged up, her hands grasping Sherlock’s taut buttocks, as Sherlock’s kisses grew desperate, hips now pumped wildly as he thrust in and out in an increasingly frantic rhythm, before he reared up abruptly, his arms taking his full weight. The new angle drove his cock deeper into her welcoming warmth, causing them to moan at the exquisite sensation.

But just as they were about to reach completion, Sherlock paused to savour the incredible feeling of Molly’s body as it clamped possessively around his rigidly hard penis, he marvelled at how her lips felt on his, the softness of her skin, her intoxicatingly musky scent as he’d plied her sensitive clit with his tongue...

A well-aimed slap to his buttocks abruptly snapped him from his musings.

“Catalogue and update your Mind Palace later,” Molly panted impatiently, though Sherlock noted the hint of an endearingly impish grin as she wrapped her legs around his waist, before pulling his head down so she could plant a sinfully passionate kiss upon his willing lips.

*

Back and forth, then side to side, Sherlock’s hips kept up their determined and relentless rhythm. He was a man possessed.

“Yes, yes right there,” Molly cried encouragingly, and then “Oh my God, Sherlock!”

Molly came, her head thrown back as she screamed in ecstasy. Moments later Sherlock found his own release, coming with a guttural growl. The tension in his body immediately giving way to euphoric lethargy, before collapsing on top of an equally boneless Molly, his body totally spent.

They lay where they were, catching their breath. Then Sherlock rolled off Molly, pulling her close, wrapping his arms securely around her as she happily snuggled into him.

*

Several minutes later with still not a word spoken Molly grew concerned. Sitting up, she turned to Sherlock, and what she saw had her pulling him into her arms, his head coming to rest in the crook of her shoulder.

“Bit overwhelming isn’t it,” she said softly, as tears flowed freely down his cheeks.

Sherlock nodded, initially unable to find the words to accurately describe what he was feeling. And then “Understatement,” he mumbled. The embarrassment he felt at his uncharacteristic show on emotion all too clear.

Molly knew Sherlock had not been a virgin, yet their coupling had clearly had a profound effect on him. Brushing his sweat slicked curls out of his eyes, she queried gently. “And this was different.”

Sherlock sat up, and pulled Molly onto his lap. He threaded his fingers through her hair before taking her face in his hands, his thumbs gently caressing her cheeks, resting his forehead against hers as he looked her directly in the eyes. “So different,” he murmured, a luminous glow appearing in his storm-tossed eyes. “This was the first time my heart was fully involved. This wasn’t about getting laid. This was all about love, making love, and loving the woman who will always matter the most to me. “

Molly could feel tears beginning to well up in her own eyes.

“Not good?” Sherlock asked, becoming more than a little worried.

Molly laughed, whipping her tears away. “On the contrary,” she assured him. “It’s the very best actually.”

Sherlock visibly relaxed.

“So, what do you suggest we do now?” his innocent expression totally at odds with the way he was dragging Molly back under the covers.

Molly’s laughter was filled with pure joy as she playfully pushed Sherlock onto his back and straddled him. “I’m sure we can come up with something,” she responded playfully.

Sherlock wholeheartedly agreed.

***

[a-panda-reads-act-omega]

ACT OMEGA PART 24

THE 04/02/17 UPDATE

Hey look at that, I’m bored and I can’t urge myself to close that act omega tab. You know what that means. I’m doing another part today, w o o o o o 

Alrighty, last time. Aranea showed up, and I reacted in a perfectly calm and orderly fashion. Let’s see where this goes!

Yup. Nobody’s happy. Put that grin away Aranea.

MEENAH: serket?? MEENAH: HOLD the GLUB up MEENAH: i thought you like MEENAH: got owned or w/e

She did indeed get owned or w/e. By you, in fact. You from another universe in which you became a giant hot troll wearing a goddamn skintight outfit.

Oh yeah, and she is currently destroying the hell out of the kiddo’s back at the lily pad.

ARANEA: ... Nice to see you too, Meenah.

Pssst.. it’s not nice to see you aranea...

ARANEA: Just as anxious to get to the point as ever. 8ut as per usual, I encourage you to exercise a 8it more p8tience. ARANEA: All your questions and concerns will be addressed eventually, I assure you. MEENAH: UUUGH MEENAH: i cannot B-ELI-EV-E this MEENAH: you go all crazy and try n pull off some ridiculous timeline divine intervention stunt MEENAH: prolly kelped actin like a hotshot all the way up to getting fuckin WAST-ED MEENAH: im out here thinkin i aint never gonna sea you again cause you got it in your head you had ta be the ultimate magnanimous blowhard just like your STUPID ALT S)(-ELLF MEENAH: AND T)(-EN MEENAH: you reappier outta NOW)(-ER-E MEENAH: lookin just as smug as you got no business bein MEENAH: and you tell me i gotta put up with whatever sanctimonious salmon youve prepared before i get any answers?!

LET ‘ER HAVE IT MEENAH. Can Aranea get the idea out of her head that SHE has got to be the one everybody looks up to? Because everytime she’s had an effect on this story, it’s made everything completely horrible. Honestly, she just tries too hard to be worthy of admiration. If she were like Vriska, she’d care more about doing what needs to be done instead of being admired by all. Merely because Vriska isn’t so dependent on the approval of others, and is happy with doing what needs to be done just so she can brag to herself and others. Alright, I kinda feel like getting deeper into this. How Vriska and Aranea differ and parallel eachother, because it’s a pretty thin line that doesn’t feel obvious. But here’s a very simple way of putting it:

Vriska wants to be the hero Aranea wants to be seen as the hero

Vriska wants to force dead weight to carry itself Aranea wants useful people to depend on her

I feel like that sums it up fairly well, really. Maybe I’ll start making sideposts of character analysis if I feel like getting deeper into these topics.

ARANEA: Sanctimonious what? MEENAH: OH MY COD I M-EANT S-ERMON

GET MAD MEENAH. IMPALE HER WITH YOUR POKEY FORK.

And here we find Porrim, in her natural state of “tired of everybodys shit”

PORRIM: Meenah. Yo+u might want to+ reel yo+urself in for a mo+ment.

S)(-ELL NO

MEENAH: >38( PORRIM: Maybe try to+ avo+id making the same mistakes as the yo+unger Serket.

DONT BRING VRISKA INTO THIS 

VRISKA: Excuse me???????? PORRIM: O+h, hush. Yo+u’ve spent far mo+re energy externalizing yo+ur frustratio+n than you+ have do+ing anything pro+ductive. PORRIM: We can o+nly take so+ much o+f this. We're here to+ try and do+ so+mething with o+ur afterlife o+ther than willfully subject o+urselves to+ its infinite echo+ chamber o+f teenage drama.

Porrim

porrim, baby

i love you, i do

but this is n o T JUST TEENAGE DRAMA? I mean, Aranea killed EVERYBODY.

PORRIM: I myself have had eno+ugh o+f that fo+r at least two+ lifetimes. PORRIM: So+ if either o+f yo+u are ultimately o+nly go+ing to co+ntribute to+ the endless caco+phany, rather than fo+cus o+n getting results, I suggest yo+u mo+ve it to+ so+me o+ther bubble. PORRIM: If no+t, then co+nsider jo+ining the rest o+f us in seeing what Aranea might have to+ o+ffer to+ o+ur cause. ARANEA: Why, thank you, Porrim. That was very eloquently put. I promise you won’t 8e disappointed. ::::)

Goddammit Porrim, you gave her a reason to be smug. Just because Porrim is tired of the arguing, doesn’t mean you’re somehow at all justified in anything you’ve ever done ever.

ok im salty

PORRIM: Hmmm. We’ll see. ARANEA: Really, I was well prepared for my reappearance to cause something of a stir. It’s completely understanda8le to want an explan8tion.

UUUUUGHHhfadjnkms SHuuut uppp

ARANEA: I’ve 8een lying low for quite a while now. Gathering inform8tion, drawing conclusions, revising and perfecting plans... All of which will certainly prove invalua8le for you all in your current predicament! ARANEA: It really is a shame you’ve landed yourselves in such a 8ind! It was ultim8ly inevita8le, 8ut unfortun8 all the same. ARANEA: Isn’t it lucky, then, that I’m here to put this tr8n 8ack on its tracks?

Im gonna die from salt poisoning help

PORRIM: SIGH...

SIGH...

PORRIM: If yo+u have any interest in keeping that pro+mise o+f yo+urs, I suggest yo+u skip the preamble.

Thank you Porrim. I’m trying to find somebody to latch onto here, but everybody is starting problem’s n s t uf f . 

Everybody looks so

VRISKA: Hold the fucking phone! Why should we listen to ANYTHING you have to say?

YOU sHOULDN’T

VRISKA: Your track record isn’t exactly stellar! And from what I’m seeing right now, you haven’t learned from your colossal fuckup one iota!

WOAH, VASKA... who the hell says iota????

VRISKA: I have a8solutely ZERO interest in letting the same washed up has-8een whose mess *I* had to clean up waltz up here and act like she’s my goddamn s8vior!!!!!!!

YEAH TELL HER VRISKA! EVEN THOUGH IM PREEETTY SURE YOU DID NOTHING AND TEREZI DID EVERYTHING...

And, oh god my memory of the timelines and stuff are getting me confused. I’m sure I’m probably wrong about this, but y’know what I’m gonna talk about it anyways. Would this Vriska really even know about Aranea? I mean, she didn’t die, so... maybe just in her dreams or something. or. gdi im confused.

ARANEA: Come now, Vriska. You of all people should know that there are 8etter times to choose for throwing hissyfits!

This isn’t a HISSYFITS. This is clear and rational thought. And I don’t get w hY NOBODY ELSE IS QUESTIONING THESE THINGS.

ARANEA: And 8esides, what a8out your little plan? We can all pl8nly see how well that turned out. You were smacked down just as unceremoniously as I was, so don’t act as if you’re suddenly the only person who can pull their own w8 around here.

Yeah, but you know what? Her plan didn’t revolve around dooming EVERYBODY. Her plan had essence of COMPETENCE.

ARANEA: You may 8e incredibly stu88orn, 8ut you can’t 8e so foolish as to dismiss common sense purely for the s8ke of your ego. I’m your 8est shot at m8king it out of this alive. While your army was 8eing eradic8ed, I was 8usy uncovering the truth. ARANEA: If you would just allow me to expl8n, perhaps you could finally reg8n your wits and 8e a8le to focus on what TRULY matters.

oh god i hate her h e l p.

pLEASE.. DOUBle DEATh HER.

VRISKA: I already HAVE my wits! And I was just a8out to use them to whip this 8unch of losers into sh8pe 8efore YOU and your 8loated delusions of grandeur showed up! ARANEA: Is that what you were a8out to do? I never would have guessed. Considering from my perspective, you were in the middle of some sort of mental 8reakdown 8rought on 8y 8eing utterly incapa8le of comprehending the magnitude of your own failure!

At least she DAMAGED HIM. SHE INFLICTED SOME FORM OF HARM TO THE UNKILLABLE GOD TRYING TO FUCK THEM OVER. You literally just got everybody killed with no positive result, you cannot claim that you are A N Y better than her.

ARANEA: If you had been p8ying attention, you might have t8ken note of when I mentioned that this outcome was inevita8le. There was hardly anything I could have done to prevent it. YOU, on the other hand... ARANEA: The mishap with your dice could easily have 8een avoided if you had simply realized how thoroughly outmatched you were. Did you actually try your little luck-stealing trick on LORD ENGLISH?

FIRST THE  F U C K OF ALL... If this outcome was inevitable, then that literally makes EVERYBODY IN PARADOX SPACE JUST AS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS DISASTER. NNGH YOU CANNOT PIN THIS ON VRISKA JUST TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK BETTER

VRISKA: Yeah! I did!!!!!!!! That’s kind of what I DO? VRISKA: 8ut... it didn’t WORK. ARANEA: Tsk, tsk. Of course it didn’t. Lord English is hardly on the same level as the 8lack king, or the myriad low-level imps, hapless trolls, and pitiful ghosts from which you’d previously acquired your ill-gotten fortune. Your a8ilities aren’t even close to developed enough to stand a chance against such an opponent! ARANEA: 8ut say, I think that perhaps we can strike a deal. We all know that time has 8een kinder to me in that I’ve had enough of it to refine my powers considera8ly. 8etween the two of us, I am clearly the superior Hero of Light.

. . . . . . . . F U C K Y O U .

Can’t deal with this. Can’t TAKE this girl’s superiority complex.

God im turning into the human equivallent of a salt shaker.

VRISKA: Oh, yeah. Sure. 8ecause I’m totally interested in whatever 8ogus “deal” you have to offer. Especially when you phrase it like THAT! ARANEA: And yet you don’t deny truth of my words. A smart choice. VRISKA: Are you going to w8ste time gloating, or actually get to the point?! ARANEA: My point is that I would 8e more than happy to lend you my services. Allow you to maximize your potential in a more... expedient fashion, given the sizea8le constraints we are currently under. ARANEA: All you would have to do is ask nicely. May8e even apologize for raising your voice? A little more respect and deference would 8e appreci8ed as well. ARANEA: What do you say? A deal is a deal? ::::)

GOD. DAMN IT I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS. I REALLY REALLY R E A L L Y HATE HER. NOBODY WANTS YOUR HELP. Oh god this is turning into the worst liveblog ever, B U T SERIOUSLY I HATE HER AND THAT IS LITERALLY ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT RIGHT NOW.

VRISKA: How a8out this: I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP!!!!!!!!

YEs. PRECISELY 

OHFUCKHIKANKRI

KANKRI: *PHWEEEEEEEET!!!*

...

O k you know what. For once, I’m actually happy about Kankri existing. That fuckfest needed to end.

And jesus. I need to calm myself down.

Oh god poor Mituna is freaking out.

KANKRI: I think that is QUITE en9ugh 9f that f9r n9w. While I n9rmally endeav9r t9 enc9urage c9nstructive de6ate in the interest 9f inf9rming the ign9rant masses, this argument has 6ec9me far t99 pr96lematic f9r me t9 all9w it t9 c9ntinue!

Gdi I haven’t even read it yet, but it already hurts to look at.

Alright. So yeah, this is getting out of hand and he’s putting a stop to it with his space jesus powers.

KANKRI: There isn’t nearly en9ugh time f9r me t9 g9 9ver all 9f the deeply distur6ing c9mments disparaging n9t 9nly the magically disadvantaged, 6ut the mentally challenged, which I have just 69re witness t9. S9 I will settle with 6riefly chastising y9u 69th f9r y9ur cavalier disregard 9f y9ur inherent privilege, and enc9urage y9u to 6e m9re aware 9f h9w the nature 9f y9ur w9rds might affect the very imp9rtant feelings 9f pe9ple that aren’t here.

And people that ARE here. Like, you know. The mentally challenged Mituna right behind you. Though I’m pretty sure you’re speech his having a worse affect on him than they are. Also, how the hell did they even offend any mentally challenged people??

LATULA: ummmmmm, l1k3, not to b3 UN-r4d or wh4t3v3r, b3c4us3 th4t 1s TOT3S not my styl3, LATULA: but m1tun4 1s l1k3, R1GHT h3r3??

Thank you Latula, the poor guy is dying at all these words.

KANKRI: He is?

Oh my god Kankri, seriously? Were you too busy ogling at Latula to realize that their were handicapped people who needed defending in the area?

MITUNA: 1 H4T3 Y0UR FUCK1NG W157L3 KANKRI: 9h. Right, 9f c9urse. My mistake. Ap9l9gies, Mituna. I h9pe y9u d9n’t mind that I have taken it up9n myself t9 help speak 9n y9ur behalf, c9nsidering y9ur vari9us issues with speaking at all.

kANKRI. that is not how you speak to handicapped people. Is he just salty that he’s dating Latula? Yeah. he’s totally salty about latula.

MITUNA: UM KANKRI: Exactly. Y9u’ve 6een rendered n9n-ver6al 6y the sens9ry 9verl9ad caused 6y all this unnecessary sh9uting. Which makes the wh9le thing w9rse, really. Right, Mituna? MITUNA: WHY 4R3 7HR33 S0 M4NY W0RD5 MITUNA: 175 4LL MITUNA: 8UZZ1NG LATULA: dont worry 4bout 1t b4b3! 1ts 4lmost ov3r. MITUNA: 5H0U71NG 4ND MITUNA: 5TUP1D 8ULG3 WH1FF1NG WH157L35 MITUNA: FUCK

Latula is literally the best supportive girlfriend. Is she gonna cover his ears for him next?

KANKRI: Even m9re sincere ap9l9gies, Mituna. Even if the use 9f the whistle was vital in the c9nstructi9n 9f y9ur safe space, I understand that it did upset y9u and that y9ur feelings 9n the matter are valid. KANKRI: 6ut thankfully, and despite the unf9rtunate side effects, it did its j96 9f helping 6ring every9ne t9 their senses. KANKRI: Really, this wh9le thing c9uld have 6een av9ided if y9u 69th had just listened t9 P9rrim's advice. PORRIM: O+h. PORRIM: Kanny, did yo+u just... AGREE with me fo+r o+nce? KANKRI: ... KANKRI: I 6elieve I have asked y9u several times n9w n9t t9 call me that!

what has this devolved into? What is this BICKERING. Can anybody remain on the same page for more than two sentences? Honestly, I’m surprised Lord English hasn’t just killed them all yet.

AND HERE THESE TWO ARE, indifferent as always.

SOLLUX: (well.) SOLLUX: (this is pr0bably the worst clusterfuck i have ever had the f0rtune 0f n0t seeing.) SOLLUX: (are y0u sure we can’t just leave?) SOLLUX: (as if whichever smug fuck that ends up running the idi0t brigade is g0ing to s0lve 0ur impending d00m. it’s alm0st starting t0 feel like the wh0le pirate crew bullshit all 0ver again.) SOLLUX: (except s0meh0w even m0re 0f a catastr0phe.)

Sollux, there’s one thing you’re forgetting. The pirate ship was a disaster, yes. but now you have one KEY FACTOR that will lead you all to victory. The power of F R I E N D S H I P. Can’t you just feel all the good vibes radiating off of these assholes?

ARADIA: (we cant go yet sollux!) ARADIA: (i have no intention of leaving) ARADIA: (and while i understand why you may want to this time it really is somewhat imperative that you stay) ARADIA: (we all have a part to play in the preservation of reality) ARADIA: (a mission which is even more critical now than it has ever been!)

Alright, so this team’s objective “SAVE REALITY” Team lilypad’s objective “DONT.. DIE” Team Lowas’s objective “THERAPIZE ERISOL”

SIMPLE ENOUGH.

oh god i just remembered Calliope already died and that’s s A  D ...

SOLLUX: (ugh. really?) ARADIA: (yes!) SOLLUX: (s0 i’m like. imp0rtant s0meh0w?) ARADIA: (does it help you feel better to think about it like that?) SOLLUX: (... kind 0f? bizarrely en0ugh.) SOLLUX: (where did that c0me fr0m all 0f a sudden?) ARADIA: (i couldnt possibly tell you) ARADIA: (but what i can tell you is that i think this brief setback will be over soon) SOLLUX: (fine, if y0u say s0.)

All setbacks can be overcome with enough  TIME. HAHA.... TIME JOKE. The hell am i doing with my life.

Oh shit is Davepeta here to drop some calm bombs on the group?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < man this is just getting sad DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but guess i oughta toss my two cents into this clusterfuck DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < beclaws honestly i KIND of agr33 with vwiskers a little? DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < my subconscious is clawing at me that we totally cant trust aranea at all ever

THANK, you. 

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < cause shes seriously bad news DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i dont have any real concrete memories or anything to support it but DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i dunno! thats just how i f33l DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < meow on the other paw DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < we kind of are in some purrty hot water DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < and i ALSO have the conflicting f33ling that whatever info she has fur us will be impurrtant DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < so if anything we should just hear her out DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < so long as you dont try to pull anything fishy!!

SIGH... I G U E S S. It still feels horrible to even let her get a word in, just because she’s literally gonna act like every useful information she gives is worth everything, and they have no right to blame her for anything.

ARANEA: Er... ARANEA: Thank you for the endorsement. And the warning, I suppose. ARANEA: If there won’t 8e any further interruptions? MEENAH: yeah sure fine whatever MEENAH: but u beta believe im gonna be gilling you later ARANEA: I look forward to it.

I’m gonna hope that was a fish pun, and what she meant was ‘killing’

TAVROS: i THINK VRISKA LOOKS LIKE, sHE IS READY TO STOP SHOUTING, TAVROS: sO WE CAN BEGIN LISTENING, TAVROS: wHICH IS GOOD, bECAUSE I AM VERY CURIOUS, TAVROS: eSPECIALLY SINCE, i SORT OF, aLWAYS LIKED YOUR STORIES, aRANEA, TAVROS: wHEN THEY DIDN’T RUN TOO LONG, aNYWAY,,,

N O B O D Y A S K E D Y O U  T A V R O S

putthatfuckingsmileaway

ARANEA: Don’t worry, Tavros. I will try and keep this as 8rief as possible. ARANEA: While also ensuring all vital inform8tion and context is provided, of course. ARANEA: Now, allow me to 8egin...

...gjdkgfignjfij

conflicting feelings about everything here. Alright. WELL, that is the end of this update. you can listen to my whine a bunch on the next part. SO. yeah.

[solarpunksoftie]

additional fun facts about the Gene Pool

because i cant be stopped and oh hello new obsession

my sides

A - Adrienne   E - Ethan   L - Laura   P - Pandora   D - Daryl

Favourite Colour

A - Green

E - Red

L - Blue

P - Yellow

D - Purple

Favourite Music

A - The Struts, Major Lazer, Ariana Grande

E - Rise Against, Green Day, Paramore

L - Lindsey Stirling, Sleeping At Last, Ratatat

P - KONGOS, Arctic Monkeys, Bastille

D - Twenty One Pilots, The Neighborhood, The Front Bottoms

Favourite Foods/Bev

A - Popsicles, Bananas, Mussels / Dr. Pepper

E - Yogurt+Granola, Lamb, Bacon / Juice

L - Steak, Mushrooms, Ramen(its convenient!) / Tea

P - Berries, Spaghetti, Clif Bars (chocolatey ones) / Coffee

D - BBQ Chips, Goldfish, Cheesecake / Hot Cocoa

Favourite Movie

A - Avengers

E - The Sting

L - Cosmos: War of the Planets (they fuckin lov terrible movies)

P - Indiana Jones and the Lost Arc

D - Heathers

Favourite T.V. Show

A - Rick and Morty

E - Brooklyn Nine-Nine

L - Star Trek (tos)

P - The Walking Dead

D -  Cutthroat Kitchen

Favourite Fiction Genre / AO3 Tag

A - Action / Smut

E - Drama / Hurt Comfort

L - Sci-fi / College AU

P - Fantasy / Graphic Depictions of Violence

D - Slice of Life / Whump

Favourite Musical / Song from it

A - Catch Me If You Can / Live in Living Color

E - Les Miserables / Do You Hear The People Sing 

L - Hamilton / Non-Stop

P - Into The Woods / I Know Things Now

D -  Heathers / Lifeboat

Favourite Activity

A - sex, dancing, late night shenanigans with friends

E - attending protests, witchcraft, hiking

L - painting, research, watching movies

P - cooking, playing horror games, playing with animals

D - sleeping, listening to music, cuddling (but they’ll never admit it)

Favourite Affection

A - kisses. not necessarily romantic, forehead, cheek, hand, etc are all awesome

E - massages, especially shoulders

L - hair play

P - hand holding and casual touches

D - hugs, but so touch starved he’ll take anything

Favourite exercise

A - Dance!

E - Swimming

L - Climbing

P - Bicycle

D - pass…

If They Had A Super Power…

A - Flight

E - Pyrokinesis/Pyrogenesis

L - Time Stop

P - Invincibility

D - Invisibility

Weapon Of Choice

A - Falchion… specifically this one 

E - spiked bat

L - Pistol

P - Bowie Knife

D - Switchblade

Travel Destination

A - Amsterdam OR Cross Country Road Trip

E - International Relief Aid (they have no concept of relaxation)

L - Ireland

P - Hawaii

D - no thanks..

Element

A - Air

E - Fire

L - Earth

P - Water

D - Smoke

Theme Songs

A - Raise Your Glass, P!nk - Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time, P!atD

E - Architects, Rise Against - Uprising, Muse - Feeling Sorry, Paramore

L - Conquest of Spaces, Woodkid

P - Laugh Till I Cry, The Front Bottoms - Stressed Out, Twenty One Pilots

D - Trapdoor, Twenty One Pilots - Be Nice To Me, The Front Bottoms - The Draw, Bastille

Little Quirks

A - Happy Dances, Winks, Hair Fluffs

E - Impatient finger tapping, “Cool Kid” posing, Blowing hair out of face

L - clasped hands, Adjusting glasses, straitening tie

P - deforest kelley bounce, hands nervously in pockets, always ready to rabbit

D - Tired face rub, eye roll, lip biting

Zodiac Sign/Planet (all from my full chart)

A - Aries Moon

E - Scorpio Mars

L - Libra Mercury

P - Sagittarius Jupiter

D - Pisces Saturn

Shadow Emotion

A - Loneliness

E - Sadness

L - Confusion

P - Fear

D - Anger

Alignment

A - Chaotic Neutral - fuck it this looks fun

E - Chaotic Good - I will burn this city to the ground to save a child

L - Lawful Good - do the right thing the Right way and you get the best results

P - Lawful Neutral - follow the rules and you won’t get hurt

D - Neutral Evil - I’m tired just kill yourself

Hogwarts House

A - Gryffindor

E - Slytherin / Gryffindor

L - Ravenclaw / Slytherin

P - Gryffindor

D - Hufflepuff

D&D Class

A - Sorcerer

E - Druid

L - Wizard

P - Ranger

D - Rogue

MBTI / my function stack

A - ESFP / Se

E - ENFP / Fi

L - ENTJ / Te

P - ISTP / inferior Ni

D - INFP - none, hes a disorder

God Tier 

A - Maid of Breath

E - Knight of Space

L - Sylph of Mind

P - Mage of Rage

D - Page of Doom

High School Superlatives

A - Best Person to Travel With

E - Most Likely to Help Hide a Body

L - Most Likely to Succeed

P - Best Person to Get Stranded With

D - Worst Case of Senioritis

Vices/Virtues

A - Sex/Kindness

E - Rage/Courage

L - Overwork/Diligence 

P - Alcohol/Vigilance 

D - Drugs/Humility

When Stressed

A - loses all sense of direction and will jump onto the first suggestion someone makes to relieve the stress. Gets paranoid about appearance. Easily becomes overwhelmed/sensory overloaded and needs soft things, stim things, and fidgit toys to keep from becoming entirely incoherent.

E - Gets really impatient and short with people. If the stress escalates they will angry cry from frustration. Slams doors, yells unnecessarily.

L - Comes to a complete stop. They can’t complete a thought coherently and are easily confused. Prone to quitting from distress, coming to the conclusion that the most logical thing is to remove ones self from the stress while also stuck on the fact that it’s stressful because it’s too important to ignore. They basically experience blue screen of death by becoming a feedback loop of “oh no”.

P - The paranoia is in full bloom. they can get delusional and jumpy. Fears intensify. Outwardly, the only sign that somethings wrong is the occasional thousand yard stare or, contrastly, they get hyper vigilant. They’re just always ready.

D - Nap Time. If naps are not acquired they become crazy aggressive and verbally abusive. Every problem is a personal attack and it must be Gene’s fault. Craves death but will settle for a razor.

When They Like Someone

A - a smooth motherfucker. loves the seduction game. will wear lingerie under her clothes in case the opportunity arises to take it off ;)

E - Skittish. romance is the one emotional department they always fumble with. will compliment a lot and try to win them over, but takes a long time to act on anything for fear of misreading the other person’s intentions and making them uncomfortable.

L - Direct. knows the importance of presentation and is a good manipulator, so may implement their skills unintentionally. Really they just want the other person on the same page as them.

P - Suspicion. they normally aren’t attracted to someone unless the other person flirts first, and they are distrustful of others’ intentions. only once they feel safe with their crush will they act more directly and can actually be very charming.

D - Obsession and Despair. This person becomes their everything, which terrifies them, so they try and pull away to avoid getting hurt, and then get upset that the person isnt paying enough attention to them, and then the “im unlovable” spiral begins.

When Injured (with irl experiences oops)

A - powers through with force of will. will convince herself that its not a big deal. would probably try to finish a marathon with a broken leg. not stubborn if told to seek help, however, theyre just really bad at judging the severity/urgency of an injury. (went through their day without a care in the world after a head injury, legit didn’t think it was a big deal. the bump just looked nasty)

E - stubborn as a mule to keep up their badass image. will brush off most things even if they know its bad news. the only time the facade drops is when theyre alone, and then theyre a mess. (helped someone move despite the fact that they were seriously ill. hid it the whole time. collapsed when they got home)

L - reacts appropriately to the situation. has an objective enough knowledge of medicine and anatomy to assess the severity and urgency of an injury and will seek help if needed. 

P - Panic. has a slight inclination to hypochondria that only comes out when something is wrong. stubbed tow? its broken. stomach ache? it could be cancer or their appendix is gonna burst. weird symptoms they dont recognize? absolutely positive theyre gonna die. if they cant see whats wrong the panic is worse. is actually not bad dealing with flesh wounds, but still wont hesitate in seeking care. (full blown panic attack when a uti started exhibiting unfamiliar symptoms and couldn’t receive immediate care)

D - secrecy. wont tell anyone. 10/10 most likely to silently stitch up a wound themselves and no one would be the wiser. (suffering silently through a migraine without medication, cleaning up self harm cuts)

Negative Influences

A - Reckless behavior, abandoning obligations in favour of a fun activity, drug use

E - Being argumentative, “anyone who doesnt agree with me is the enemy” knee jerk reaction, grudges

L - Obsessive behavior, hyper focus, over rationalizing feelings away

P - Irrational fears, distrust of others, exhausting hyper vigilance

D - Depression my dudes, self worth issues, self harm in all forms

Positive Influences

A - Trying new things, Courage, enjoying the simple pleasures

E - Passion, Moral compass, Determination

L - keeping my life structured, love of learning, the designer

P - self preservation, observing others’ personal boundaries, being prepared

D - ?????, keeps me from becoming too powerful,, ???????

When To Worry About Them

A - would rather stay home than go out, reclusive behavior

E - either theyre constantly fuming or they become painfully apathetic

L - none of their ideas make sense, language issues

P - always v stressed

D - smiley mask, overly compliant, overly positive

How They Chill

A - Nature Walks

E - Low Key hangouts with friends

L - Coloring books

P - Music - will often chill and listen to music with Daryl

D - Sleep - falls asleep while listening to music with Pandora

ill probly add onto this when i think of more stuff, but here for now

Self Care

A - Dressing up, cuz looking good for your own sake does wonders for emotional wellbeing

E - Talking to people, it’s not fair to you or your friends to shut them out, and the attention makes Adrienne happy

L - Hot Shower. As well as being good hygiene, hot showers improve circulation and relax muscles and the mind

P - cooking a whole meal for yourself, because you have a penchant for denying yourself food, and its a creative, mentally stimulating activity that gets you moving and is satisfying

D - He’d say sleep, but he always wants to sleep so its mostly detrimental. So he’s with Laura on hot showers, but like, in the dark. They’re good for if you’re upset, or nauseous, or tired, or have a migraine, or need a cry. Don’t gotta put much thought into it, if somethings wrong it can probably be fixed with a shower. Also the warmth is super nice, and a locked dark bathroom is basically the most secure place you have access to. AND you can use nice smelling soaps and stuff, so Addy is happy too. Showers are just default best.

Which Sanders Sides theyre most like

A - Patton

E - Roman

L - Logan

P - Anxiety

D - get fucked

As My Friends… 

A - Kevin - big puppy dog, adventure/food/trouble friend

E - John - loud and proud and also my libra buddy

L - Owen - too smart jesus christ

P - Bri - anxiety ridden and prepared for everything

D - Jake - seriously hes the embodiment of depression anyway its horrifying

Physical Details

A - always wearing body glitter. nothing too Extra but just enough for a slight shimmer

E - has all the tattoos ive ever fantasized about. when i think up a new one it gets added to the collection. the buffest looking; when they work out they go for tone cuz they love the look

L - the only one who wears glasses. also wears a binder cuz theyre most comfortable flat-chested

P - carries any injuries i have at the time, including random bruises or cuts. actually the strongest even though they dont look it

D - has cuts all up their arms. they’re normally wrapped in bandages or hidden under hoodies. Deep under eye bags and the thinnest by far cuz they never heckin eat

Group Opinion

A - despite being the oldest everyone sees her as the little sister they need to protect. they love when shes happy and they all put in efforts to keep her out of too much trouble for the most part

E - they see them as a bit of an egomaniac, which isnt too far off. they are the judicial voice of the group, keeping everyone in line. those who deviate too far face their wrath.

L - the nerd. the others actually try to dismiss them a lot, since a lot of times they end up holding the group back. wildly unappreciated even though theyre normally right and helpful

P - doesn’t normally pop into group discussions, and is more of a casual observer, only participating when necessary. the others appreciate this about them, because for real if they contributed all the time id be a lot more stressed out

D - the villain. everyone always attacks everything they say (with good reason). despite this they still somehow end up winning a pretty good amount of decisions, cuz they are disgustingly good at twisting words and appealing to what at least one of the others wants. no one trusts them

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THE FACT THAT ALL THESE LANGUAGES ARE TURING-EQUIVALENT MEANS THAT, STRICTLY SPEAKING, YOU CAN NO LONGER CLAIM TO HAVE INVENTED A NEW LANGUAGE, BUT WHAT IF HE WANTED TO HAVE A DISPROPORTIONATELY LOW PROBABILITY OF THE FORMER WILL SEEM TO HAVE FELT THE SAME BEFORE THEY STARTED TO BE ABLE TO DUPLICATE IT IN LESS THAN THREE WEEKS

You'd have to be product companies, in the summer of 2005, had eight startups in it. At least $1000 a month. The pointy-haired boss from responsibility: if he chooses something that is really just a bunch of twenty year olds could get rich from a startup is the percentage chance it's Google. A startup now can be just a pair of 22 year old guys. It was like being told to use dry water. I find that to have good ideas I need to be able to draw like Leonardo, you'd find most would say something like Oh, I can't draw. A Lisp macro can be anything from an abbreviation to a compiler for a new search engine in 1998, or turning down a billion dollar acquisition offer. A function type. Of course the habits of mind. Really? Code size is important, because the only employees are a couple 25 year old founders who can live on practically nothing. Y Combinator we still only have four people, so we try to standardize everything.

When you assemble ideas at random and see what you came up with. If I had a choice of a spending the next hour wandering about, was there any sort of work I liked that much. In fact, I know it from my own experience as a reader. If you ever end up running a company, but this is the best way to get rich, why doesn't everyone want to do this? Plenty of people who will later do great things seem to be any sort of work I liked that much. Many people remember it as the happiest time of their lives. This is actually a rational response to their situation. Corollary: be careful what you measure. People who aren't smart at least try to act that way.1 When it was first developed, Lisp embodied nine new ideas: Conditionals.

Now the only threshold is courage. But there are two founders with the same qualifications who are both equally committed to the business, that's easy. If startups are mobile, the best opportunities are where things suck more than in corporate IT departments. When Robert got kicked out of grad school for writing the Internet worm of 1988, I envied him enormously for finding a way out without the stigma of failure. I read about people who liked what they did so much that I only did it out of necessity, there must be a lot of people use this technique without being consciously aware of it, and most of those weren't truly smart, so our third test was largely a fashion, driven by conditions that happened to exist in the twentieth century. If you work hard at being a bond trader for ten years, thinking that you'll quit and write novels when you have absolutely no desire to work on things you do. It seems safe to say now that open source has prevented that. In order to get tenure in any field you must not arrive at conclusions that members of tenure committees can disagree with. They could sing campfire songs in the classes so long as admissions worked the same.

The problem with this car, as with American cars is bad design. You don't have to be a novelist, are you really out of your way to make yourself work on hard problems is to work on boring stuff. And since all the hackers use. When I have to read all these books if I remember so little from them? College is where faking stops working. Tip: avoid any field whose practitioners say this. You have more leverage negotiating with VCs than you realize. Which for founders will result in the perfect combination: funding rounds that close fast, with high valuations. Henry Ford. The only reason to hire someone is to do something differently.2 The worthwhile departments, in my opinion, are math, the hard sciences, engineering, history especially economic and social history, and I answered twenty, I could see them thinking that we didn't count for much. Rtm and Trevor and I do because we always have, and Jessica does too, mostly, because she's gotten into sync with us.

It's hard to create wealth by making a commodity. And it did not seem to be any syntax for it. I think, is worry about the opinion of the rest of the time success means getting bought, why not think of that idea, just that I don't want four years of my life to be consumed by random schleps. How about if I give you a couple reasons why a safe career might not be what your parents really want for you. Nor is there anything wrong with that. In fact, I'd guess 70% of the idea is much older than Henry Ford. Earlier this year I wrote something that seemed suitable for a magazine, so I had to do it.

Being friends with someone for even a couple days in some of the most useful skills we learned from Viaweb was not getting our hopes up.3 How can Larry and Sergey seem to have been headed down the wrong path. In the times when they weren't, philosophy was hopelessly intermingled with religion. Look at what a hard time doing that. They've tried hard to make money selling programming languages, as Erann Gat has pointed out, what industry best practice. Because anything that brings an advantage will give your competitors an advantage over you if they do it? It would be great if a startup could give us something of the old Moore's Law back, by writing software for smaller companies, because their software is probably going to be developing it for people like you. We're good at making movies and software because they're both messy processes. Hollywood, which gave us valuable experience dealing with heavy loads on our servers. For example, newspaper editors assigned stories to reporters, then edited what they wrote. Go out of your element? So although not knowing how to program that magically enables business people to understand them.

But if you have a day job you don't take seriously because you plan to write one I'd be very curious to see it, but that's not the way to do really big things seems to be visibility. I probably read two or three founders, you know you can love work, you're in the home stretch, and if they show the slightest sign of wasting your time, you'll be a grad-school dropout, and you have a new idea you can just sit down and consciously come up with an idea for a startup, your initial plans are almost certain to be wrong in some way, and even then was afflicted by the structural problems I've described above. If you're talking to someone from corp dev, is the group within companies that buys other companies. And nearly all the rest, including me, remember it as a tautology. At some firms it's over 50%. The field is a lot more than what software you use. This seems to be allowed, that's what. So the most successful companies we've funded were started by undergrads.

The median age worldwide is about 27, so probably a third of your company. Steve Jobs, Larry Ellison, Michael Dell, Jeff Bezos, Gordon Moore. This is reassuring to investors, because they know that some of the other, it seems an axiom that if you need money, you can start to count on it. If someone with a PhD in computer science can't understand this thermostat, it must be satisfying expectations I didn't know I had. And it can last for months. While you're at it, with dramatic results. In some fields, like software or movies, you'd surpass your competitors by making a commodity. If you want to stay happy, you have to carry your weight. Startups are still very rare. That's nonsense. Now we needed to raise more.

Notes

We care about. Which in turn forces Digg to respond gracefully to such changes, because she liked the iPhone too, of course, Feynman and Diogenes were from adjacent traditions, but one way, without becoming a Texas oilman was not just the raw gaps and anomalies.

Charismatic candidates will tend to get into a few months later. I've said into something that would appeal to investors, even though it's a harder problem than Hall realizes. None at all is a constant multiple of usage, so it's conceivable that a skilled vine-dresser was worth 8,000 sestertii, for the same reason parents don't tell the craziest lies about me.

Or a phone, IM, email, Web, games, but he turned them down because investors already owned more than the time and Bob nominally had a day job is one of the most successful startups, because you can talk about humans being meant or designed to express algorithms, and that modern corporate executives would work better, but the problems all fall into in the US. 4%, Macintosh 18. I think this made us seem naive, or an electric power grid than without, real income, or can be said to have fun in this article are translated into Common Lisp seems to have had a killed portraiture as a motive, and have not stopped to say what was happening in them.

[comicteaparty]

April 12th, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on April 12th, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PDT.  The chat focused on The Robonoid Fan by Mharz.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY START!

Good day everyone~! This week’s Comic Tea Party is now officially beginning~! Today we are discussing The Robonoid Fan by Mharz~! (http://robonoid.mharz.com/) For those new or in need of a reminder, discussions about the comic are freeform, so please feel free to bring up whatever you wish. However, every 30 minutes I will be dropping in a discussion question to help those who would like a prompt. These questions are totally OPTIONAL to answer, and you can pay them no mind if you wish. If you miss out on any though, they’ll be pinned for the duration of the chat once they’re posted~! Remember, constructive criticism is allowed, but the primary focus here is to have fun and appreciate the amazing comics that the community makes~! As a bonus, each chat a top comment will be picked and featured in the archives and on an ad for CTP! All that being said, let’s get started and have a great discussion!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

snuffysam

The end is probably my favorite part. It's a sad ending, but it really shows how Meirin was able to change, and Shin wasn't.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i....i didnt even get to pin it before you replied

✨Respheal✨

snuffy was READY

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I liked seeing Meirin at work in the beginning, it reminded me of how fun interacting with customers was

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i liked the illustration for the end. there was something really melancholy about the composition

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

YO IS IT TIME FOR A MHARZ COMIC TO BE IN A CTP?

StickFreeks

I liked the ending too! It was a neat twist, I really wasn't expecting it.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yeah the ending was pretty good

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Oooh, boy. I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT MY FAVORITE SCENE IN THIS I agree, it's the end scene. AAAAAAAAAAA Shin. Shin. Booooooooooooooooi. I was SO glad Meirin didn't respond in the affirmative for Shin. He was kind of a butt. I mean, he had potential for growth, but clearly didn't. AND I'm really honestly curious who the person he <Spoilered> was to him, and what relation they had. I wanna know!! But Shin, that doesn't... excuse anything.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

@draco meirin at work reminded me more of the parts of work where professionally jealousy is concerned even though your rivals are also your friends cause work politeness or something

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Also I read the epilogue in the book and let me tell you I felt so much better after reading it but also Shin never changes let me tell you

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Can i just say Shin has really nice hair

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

(OK, yes he does, but only when forced by circumstance)

StickFreeks

I had the idea that he got fired / replaced by somebody and that's what the drama was that led to his actions.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

@Rebel yeah there was that aspect of it too~

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

THAT SAID -- I also kind of wanted to see the two of them get together up until that last scene.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

i thought shin needed therapy XD

son plz calm down

✨Respheal✨

@StickFreeks I agree: http://robonoid.mharz.com/comic/56

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Ahaha. Oh, I Thought that was the case, but was the replacement the same person that caused him to get arrested?

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Damn adults.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i think it is implied its the same person maybe

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

And poor Shin, all the hell he goes through

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i mean its the logical conclusion to make

StickFreeks

I think he deserved his end, I didn't really feel bad for him.

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

my favorite was merin watching robonoid, i'm sucker for that henshin stuff(edited)

🌟Draco Plato🌟

i liked that too delta

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i have to agree that was my fave scene. i liked watching meirin get legit excited about it and i liked she changed her opinion on the show just being for kids

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yeah, it's pretty cute

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Meirin is adorable, though

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

@Kabo (I know right?)

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

henshin shows can get fuckin dark, like garo and the OG kamren rider, they aint just for kids

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yus she is adorable~

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

^^^^^

Delta's right

StickFreeks

I couldn't tell if Shin was emulating Robonoid's hair or if they just had the same hair, but I was convinced that he was the "real" Robonoid for a good while.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hahaha i thought that too. that shin was like the va or something and thats what he did for work XD

🌟Draco Plato🌟

same

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

he was probably emulating it, i know if i could wear a kamen rider helmet everyday i would

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

kek

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

gotta represent your favorite stuff

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yus

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

^^^

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

I dunno, Shin was pretty rich. I think he WAS the actor. :3

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

maybe he was, we could ask mharz later

StickFreeks

I thought he was blowing all his money after getting fired. XD

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i partly assumed his emulation was a representation of his fragile mental state. cause i feel shin desperately wanted to be the hero and not the bad guy. so gotta emulate a hero to reflect that

🌟Draco Plato🌟

same rebel

✨Respheal✨

Yeah

🌟Draco Plato🌟

he may have been rich in that he knew he was probably going to go to jail soon too

so just spent it up

✨Respheal✨

I was just thinking that he was trying to "take justice into his own hands, like a hero" and didn't have the adult recognition of where to draw the line(edited)

StickFreeks

I'm still unsure why he had the intent to kill somebody- like I know his "motive", but it seems unreasonable that he'd do something like that after trying to protect the kid.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

That seems fair

🌟Draco Plato🌟

super heroes don't generally kill people either

so it is a bit out of character perhaps

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

well monster die in the end of henshin shows, maybe he saw them as the monster

🌟Draco Plato🌟

altho he also was obsessive and crazy

oh that could be delta

StickFreeks

It makes for a good story, I just wish that there was some more build up or representation of him getting to that line

outside of "adults are terrible"

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

like every episode the monster explodes once they've been beaten

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Pretty much

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah i agree stick(edited)

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

yeah it did come outta now where for me

🌟Draco Plato🌟

i think as a reader I felt a biiit too detached from Shin to grasp his whole character picture

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

If memory serves, Mharz did note that this story was started in 2011 -- so it's an older work!

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

since were seeing things though merin, we didn't really get everything about shin

StickFreeks

I think I was most confused by why he asked Meirin to "wait for him", since it seemed like they had just been friends for at most a couple of weeks

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i didnt find him killing unreasonable. partly 1 because we have the phrase crime of passion for a reason. even the most reasonable ppl can do dumb crap if theyre angry enough. and i think part of shin's character is that hes a hypocrite. so of course as a hypocrite hes going to do contraditory things.

yeah i have to say i was confused on the time scale here

StickFreeks

That's very true, he did have that "unexpected crazy", I just wish it was shown more. XD

Or in more drastic ways, anyway

✨Respheal✨

Hmm, I wonder why he was going by an alias the whole time

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

especially for when shin committed the crime. thats the only wrench i see in the victim being the guy who replaced shin. cause from shin's words it sounded like itd happen after he met meirin. but then why was shin there in the first place when he could probably afford a much better place to live?

✨Respheal✨

Might he have done things before?

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Hnngh, IDK if the guy that Shin got arrested about was his replacement

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

merch can cost a lot rebel

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

it can but at that point, priorities man XD priorities

🌟Draco Plato🌟

also girl not going to wait for your ass shin, she knew you a month tops, you weren't even dating, and you going to jail for life

StickFreeks

Yeah seriously XD

🌟Draco Plato🌟

also still wondering if he drugged her

when he brought her back from the restaurant

ruffies are a thing

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Can... I talk about the epilogue?

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

god that be fucked if so

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

or is that TOO spoilery?

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

i don't see why not kabo

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

AHAHAHHAA I wish Mharz was here XD

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

i do too

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

but lemme tell you -- Meirin continues to keep her common sense.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

wait where's the epilogue

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

I think, short of spoiling it. That's the best I can say.

It's in print only atm

🌟Draco Plato🌟

awwwww

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

OH WAIT

https://gumroad.com/l/robonoid-epilogue

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

OMGG

StickFreeks

Oh yay! Thanks!

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

OH SHIT

🌟Draco Plato🌟

omg did he date rape her

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

It's 10 years later. I would say it's worth it. It's $2, but y'all should throw some money at Mharz

and JUST READ IT JUST... READ IT NOW

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

AAAHHHH

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

It's very cute and lemme tell you, again, Meirin continues to keep her common sense and I love her so much.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I need to get this

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

im glad meirin doesnt go on some i hate adults spree and realizes responsibilites are indeed a thing

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

I think having to actually worry about paying rent is kind of important XD

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yus

StickFreeks

I gotta drop out a bit early but this was fun! :D See ya!

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

see ya

🌟Draco Plato🌟

bye stick~!

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Bye!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

thanks for coming stick~!

maybe the dating scene sucks where meirin lives. so she waits cause otherwise eww has to date oldman bankerman or something XD

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Ahahahahaha oh dear.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

well did he not go to jail for murder then?

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Oh no he definitely did

🌟Draco Plato🌟

but he gets out 10 years later?

that'd be a super short murder sentence

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

good behavior maybe?

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Well, I guess that'd depend on your lawyer

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hmmm

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

and also the story's set in the Phillipines, so it might be slightly different depending on circumstance

🌟Draco Plato🌟

maybe, but geezus

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

oh gosh, what if Shin's crime was an accident

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

also I GOT THE EPILOUGE

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 2. At the end of the comic, Shin, whose real identity is revealed to be Manuel Robles, is arrested under the suspicion of murdering an Intelligence Communications employee named Sid Simon. Do you think Shin actually committed the crime? If yes, what do you think his motive was? If no, why do you think Shin is the primary suspect (and will his innocence be proven)? Given Shin’s leanings on hating adults who lie, why do you think Shin himself was so willing to commit such a huge lie? What do you foresee in general for Shin’s future and will he reflect upon his time with Meirin?

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

It's SO HEARTWARMING

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

RIGHT, JUSTIN?! I told you, Meirin keeps her goddamn sense!

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

YESSSS

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

honestly, that murder thing was a huge left turn for me, i had no idea that was going to be a thing and i'm still a little confused on it

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Also -- OMG, I think Shin DID commit the murder, although maybe it might have been manslaughter. He was hiding and scared before he got arrested. Even if he was an asshole with violent tendencies, I have a hard time thinking the act was actually premeditated.

also tbh I was kind of hoping it was the neighbor kid's mom but well. No, that wasn't the case.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

im leaning towards he did the murder. though i am 100% in the it was a crime of passion category. cause shin seems pretty explosive in general. so i could see him seeing some shady stuff going on him being like "that asshole murders oh whoops."

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

"Oops, I punched this guy and he hit his head on the floor the wrong way"

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

that being said, despite thinking that the victim was who replaced him, i actually think the motive was different. that shin confronted him over something else entirely

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

"it was the stairs, i swear officer"

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Well considering how triggered Shin got...

✨Respheal✨

I'm just hung up on the question of why he was using a fake name in the first place

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Only with Meirin, though

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

maybe to be cool

✨Respheal✨

Maybe

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Wait

How old even is Shin?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

28

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

oh wow

🌟Draco Plato🌟

i didn't understand why he didn't resist arrest

and was just sitting there basically waiting

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Guilty conscience!

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

he wanted to be a hero, justice came to his door, what kinda hero would run from justice

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

I think Shin probably was like "yeah well, I'm boned"

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

yea

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah that is one that bugs me. why the fake name? and also why was he so....different when meirin showed up? like for a moment i thought he was undercover

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeeeah

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Ahahahaha

🌟Draco Plato🌟

how was he different?

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Maybe Shin gave acquaintences a fake name so he wouldn't get bugged

🌟Draco Plato🌟

she said he was different but i kept flipping back and forth like is it the shirt

he looks the same

or did she just mean his personality

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

she meant his personality

cause he wasnt all angry

with his furrowed brows

🌟Draco Plato🌟

but everyone's got different mood days

so it didn't strike me as that weird

(edited)

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

it struck me as weird cause that was the first time seeing it. so if i was meirin i wouldve been like this is weird the first time. if it happened again okay whatever, different mood

🌟Draco Plato🌟

i wonder why going to jail mellowed him out

did he smoke a bowl before she showed up

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

shin mightve just chilled some cause he was going to confess to meirin. ya know, without telling her hes a dirty, dirty murderer

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Or his real name

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

This

Also I finally decided to jump to the middle of the story

🌟Draco Plato🌟

hey Meirin, I know I just met you, but call me maybe

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Definitely seems like Shin is a fishy person in general

with how he acts

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah he does

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

in the 50's pages(edited)

🌟Draco Plato🌟

i knew the ending before i started reading so i think it made it easier to see he was shifty

early on

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lol

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

I dunno that Shin's really shifty? Just... .... In need of an attitude adjustment

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

^

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

yeah

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

A few thwaps upside the head might get ya killed tho

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i didnt find him shifty. what i found shifty was meirin's landlord was nowhere around to complain to. which i know she explained it, but what a terrible landlord.

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

hes an idealist in a world where that thinking doesn't work

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

wait if the landlord is gone how did shin even get a room? this is why i wish i knew when the murder was. cause if shin was hiding there from teh start it makes sense how he showed up so suddenly. he was a squatter

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Pretty much

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

the landlord is probably a company

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

wish i reread it before this

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

XD "Hi here's my check"

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

tfw I'm jsut reading the whole thing now

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

didnt sound like it cause meirin siad the landlord was out of town or something. i remember this distinctly cause right before i read that i was like "meirin just complain to the landlord this is why they exist wtf." and then meirin explained why she wasnt doing that and i felt the fool

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Sorry I'm late. Today's been a day. ^.^ I'll respond to remarks from half an hour ago for a bit.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hi math~!

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

MATH

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Favourite bit's a tossup. I liked when she brought food and then was going to leave but relented when she realized he was actually really hungry, that was kind of touching. But I also liked when she thought it was a ghost near the start, that was funny.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i liked how she flipped her gears so quick and was like "jk thats silly its a new tenant"

common sense meirin

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Yeah, the ending was really interesting. Didn't anticipate that. Kind of casts everything in a slightly different light?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes. although if were being critical i do wish the ending had been foreshadowed a bit more. it kind of came out of left field for me

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Hmmm. If Shin WAS a squatter... does that mean he never had a key

also, how long was that body gone for

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

so you didn't see that coming either

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

StickFreeks: Oh, damn, good catch! (With the firing leading to the drama.)

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Okay I pretty much read the whole story now

including the epilouge

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

its wierd to thinks he a squatter cause didn't we see inside his room with all the robonoid stuff

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I love it and how realistic it approaches things

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Rebel: Yeah, good point about the emulating on purpose with hair. I agrees.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

no one said squatters cant have stuff. shin didnt seem like he had a whole bunch of stuff tho to me

but i might be biased cause i have like 5 times that amount of stuff in my room not even counting all the shit stored in my closet

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Also yeah the police invasion (sorry for spoilers) came out of nowhare

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

maybe i'm just mis-remembering then(edited)

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Respheal: Yeah, the alias thing made me wonder!

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

also I feel ya

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Shin moves from safe house to safe house with his favorite things

he only really had a computer and some posters, assuming the bed was part of the apartment

IS IT THEORY TIME

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah given the style of the bed to me it seemed more like it must of been a prefurnished apartment

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

DID SOMEONE SAY THEROIES

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Yeah, with the dead guy being in Intelligence, I thought maybe Shin was some sort of spy who got too caught up in his cover or something.

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Meirin: An adorable cinnamon roll of a character, perfect, do not question her. We know the story's from her point of view. Probably did not wait for Shin because she has common sense. Shin: A homeless, murderous squatter who might have been robonoid at one point or another -- and then got fired. Killed a guy, but didn't put a gun against his head or pull a trigger, but the guy's dead. Hates giving his real name because people are jerks and Shin sounds much cooler ANYWAY. "SHINJITE KUREYO"(edited)

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

>Shin was Robonoid

at some point

I love that theroy

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Buboy's probably yelling at his mom, "Mama... Life has just begun... But that guy had gone and thrown it all awaaaaaaaaaaaaay"

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I liked how she said "its a new tenant... but what IF IT'S NOT... no it is". Just something about that.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

kabo that shin description geez XD homeless, murderous squatter

tbf

if he is a squatter

it is a not O_O

hes not a new tenant in that case

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Oh, also, he probably stole someone's credit card.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Maybe Shin's parents created Robonoid. Modelled him after their son. He could never live up to their expectations.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

shin grew up, learned there werent monsters and giant robots in real life. was eternally devastated

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Okay, I'm caught up to the present now. ^.^

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

:3

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

if he stole a credit card that would explain the fancy restaurant

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

im glad shin had a job at some point cause tbh at first i thought he might just not do anything all day but watch robonoid

QUESTION 3. As Meirin spends time with Shin throughout the comic, she seems to change bit by bit. Do you think Meirin will remain changed, or will the comic’s ending cause her to revert back to her old ways of thinking? Do you think she will remain a Robonoid fan herself, or will it just bring back bad memories? How do you think watching Shin be arrested will affect Meirin in general? Most importantly, do you think she’ll wait for Shin like Shin asked her to? Why or why not?

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

IF MEIRIN WAITS FOR SHIN, SHE IS A FOOL

MEIRIN IS NOT A FOOL

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Rebel: Oooh, good point, I forgot about the restauruant.

snuffysam

I sure hope she doesn't wait for Shin. Keep watching Robonoid if you want, but move on with your life.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

so by that do you mean meirin just marries shin while hes in jail? XD

✨Respheal✨

For real 8V (I gotta start winding down for bed so I'm ducking out o/)(edited)

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I tend to agree with Kabocha there. Interesting thought, the idea that Robonoid would bring up bad memories though. Hmmm.... maybe not? If she's able to talk with people like the little kid?

snuffysam

I think she might take up Shin's mantle of helping kids? Like, if she sees a kid in need, she'll help them?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Meirin marries Robonoid.

✨Respheal✨

pff

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

:'3

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Shin is the priest.

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

FROM JAIL

It's a video wedding.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I would say maybe somewhare inbetween

to answer the question

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

i'd like to think meirin would keeping being a robonoid fan, yeah sure the guy that introduced it to you may be a murder but a good show is a good show, when she scracted the surface of it why let the dumb thing wiegh down your enjoyment of it

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

meirin kidnaps that abused kid and runs away from him. cant wait for shin because shes on the run

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I really want to know what happened to the abused kid

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

tbf with shin arrested meirin can take all his stuff. so no reason not to be a fan. someone has to have all that merch

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

exactly

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

it's probably evidence

Shin stole it from Sid Simon.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

the true motive

shin wanted that sweet limited edition poster

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yes

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Yeah, I wondered about the abused kid too. They both kind of had valid points, need to not ignore it but getting involved can just cause problems for everyone.

Shin took down all his stuff though before he was arrested.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

that scene really made me wonder if the country has a cps. cause the thing you should actually do in that situation is call cps

but different country, different protocols

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

What's CPS? thinks Oh, child protection services, right. Would probably need some kind of evidence.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea

I'm curious too

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i dont think you need evidence persay? well to report abuse you dont and i think they usually send someone out. to take the child is when they need the evidence

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i know in america they avoid that tho because foster care is terrible and often damages the child even more

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

At least Meirin will finally get some sleep? (Though she had trouble that time it was too quiet, so hard to say.)

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

but still idk. i dont think either of their answers were right. cause shin's jump to violence and all that certainly is bad and if hes trying to not go to jail thats not how you do it. although in retrospect maybe thats why shin was ready to go for that. he might assume hes going to jail at some point so what does he have to lose? on the otherhand that, i dont agree with meirin's lets ignore it either, because that is exactly how abuse endures

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

meirin can just put on robonoid fan in the bg

problem solved

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I'd say they should have done something about it

without going to violence

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Agreed, both of them were kind of right. That felt like a bit of a loose thread.

(Or kind of wrong, depending on your POV.)

At least Shin didn't bite her hand when she silenced him.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

they were both right and wrong at the end of the day, imo.

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

:'3 The story has some shades of gray to it.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Even Robonoid's not perfect. Dude seems to show up late to fights.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah i think at the end that was kind of the point. that adults and kids arent some black and white thing and that theres a fine line between good and bad. as meirin put it, "you should think like a child but not be a spoiled brat."

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Lol, Math

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

i chalk that up to how henshin shows go, monster has to cause some havoc first mat

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Robonoid's probably responsible for tons of property damage.

Imagine the insurance bills!

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

oh of course he is

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

his oh so much

*this

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

'Tis a good quote, Rebel.

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

theres tons of explosions and builds collapsing everytime a monster shows up

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Lots of dea--- oh no shin really was robonoid

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I could imagine that if the series was longer, it would start to show some of the faults of the Robonoid character

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Is Robonoid really a robot?

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

maybe, could be an ultraman thing where he just gets really big

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

and maybe Meirin would get some idea of why Shin gets bad influences from an anime aimed at kids.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

SJB: Ooh, maybe. I wonder if there's more than the two videos.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

True

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

there has to be, it seemed like serialized show

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

It would have bene cool to see more of the Robonoid franchise and it's influence in Shin

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Robonoid III: Now He's Really A Noid.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Don't let him get the pizza

Maybe an extended cut of the comic could show more of Shin's character and his fondness for children(edited)

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah it seemed like a serialized show to me. there were multiple dvds. and since theres merch its more likely a show cause the points of those shows is to make shit tons of money selling merch

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

True

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

plot twist: shin is only nice to kids cause its his devious plan to steal their merch

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

audible gasp

🌟Draco Plato🌟

i did wonder that

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Shin is secretly being financed by Big Robo.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

LMAO

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

thats a whole different mech thing mat

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Yis, and they're trying to devalue the other shows by having fans who steal merch from kids.

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

my god, to think big robo would do such a thing

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

so was the murder all about the fact sid simon actually was an undercover employee for big robo's rival. and shin discovered it but someone had to take the fall for their corporate espionage

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

yes

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

That could be canon!

Interesting that Meilin had heard of Sid somewhere. Was that in the comic?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i didnt see it anywhere besides the news. i think she was commenting more shed heard of intelligence communications

on a different note, i hope meirin keeps watching robonoid fan if only because i think meirin could use something light hearted in her day. working as a bank teller sounds horribly dull and irritating cause many angry customers.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

True

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

we could all use some henshin in our lives

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Gotcha. And yeah, hopefully she still sees it as a fun pasttime.

puts a hen on Shin's head

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

mat plz

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lmao

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I'd sketch it but I'm not good with fast sketches.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 4. The comic deals with a lot of themes in regards to what it means to be a child, what it means to be an adult, and the good and bad that goes with each. Whose line of thinking in the comic did you find more compelling: Meirin’s or Shin’s? Why did that line of thinking appeal to you? Was there any scene in particular that you think was well done in showcasing the themes? Do you feel Shin’s lies ultimately hurt his arguments, or do you think they still stand up regardless? How does the Robonoid show fit in with the themes? Overall, what is your take away from the comic in regard to what it says about life?

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I honestly felt like I connected a lot to Shin

since me and him share a few weaknesses

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

The weird thing is, Shin's deception felt rather un-childlike. What was he gaining by lying? Most kids would have a reason for that.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

though I agree a lot with Meirin.

also yes that

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

shin's philosophy intrigued me more as its similar to my own

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

You can see from both sides with the characters. Which is nice.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

me and Delta are one and the same

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Shin loses some credibility for calling Meirin old though.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lol

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I mean, I get it was in character, but speaking as an old person, booooo

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i saw points on both sides but i sided with meirin way more. while she could stand to be more light-hearted, i was more attune to her being a responsible adult and accepting there are just things that you have to do as an adult

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Shin was definitely stubborn. I think the idea of him being "in his own world" was nicely set up from the start with him playing loud audio late at night.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Like I always do

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

But your neighbours. O.o

(They'll think it's a ghost!)

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Thnakfuly i don't do it every night

Sounds like a fun story to do on Halloween

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

actually not going to lie, that opening scene is also what made me side with meirin's thinking more. XD cause she made a reasonable request that his stuff is too loud. and he responded by being a brat. so no matter how much i see validity in his points, ill always see it as coming from a place of a spoiled adult who thinks if he clings to childhood he suddenly wont be an adult XD

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Rebel: There's truth to that, yeah.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Indeed, Rebel

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

An interesting thing was how we did get some scenes at Meirin's work, fleshing out her world a bit, so she wasn't tied to the apartment. So it might have been easier to side with her too, she was more multifaceted.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

^^^

Maybe we needed to see more of Shin's life without Mei's influence/presence(edited)

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

More adult, even.

Shin, apparently living the high life with not worrying much for money, but tending to forget to eat.

(I admit, sometimes I get so caught up in work I forget to eat.)

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

same

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

I wonder what Robonoid would be like from Shin's point of view.

"Huh, she's cu--- WHY IS SHE YELLING AT ME GO AWAY Y'OLD HAG"

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i kind of wish wed seen a bit more of meirin's life outside. like even more than we see. like id have actually liked to see her tell her coworker about shin vs. it being relayed as an afterfact already happened

a version from shin's perspective might have been interesting

but also sounds angsty filled

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I was waiting for the ultimate Robonoid attack - "Robonoid Fan"! Big japanese fan that he waves at the enemy.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

did meirin ever say how old she was?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Yeah, I don't know if we needed to see from Shin's perspective. But maybe Meirin talking to her coworker and getting advice on someone similar?

I think she just said she was roughly the same age?

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Meirin said she was 25, I believe.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

nah i think the story works better completely from meirin's perspecive. id rather see shin's as like some offshoot extra

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah cause she said she wasn't that old then said her age

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

okay i thought she said she was 25

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

When Shin first called her an old hag :'3

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Oops, missed that.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

the fact shin was 28 at the end made me rethink that scene with much wtf

like shin

youre older

who are you calling a hag

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeeeeeeah XD

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

he's a child at ~heart~

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

at the time he couldn't have known that

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Shin, you make worse decisions than a 14-year-old child who's never been told no and has no supervision

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Lmao

I agree with that

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

http://robonoid.mharz.com/comic/9

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Mature behavior

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

welp i was wrong

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

rereading that scene, his intimidation of Meirin shoulda been a dead giveaway...

🌟Draco Plato🌟

mmm yeah

that seems like foreshadowing now

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea.

Foreshadowing 70 or so pages ahread

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I like the art style by the way. Pretty simple, but made dynamic with expressions and backgrounds.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I agree

It reminds me of one of the video games I used to play since it had kinda a similar artstyle(edited)

I'll just say that(edited)

Simple, yet well crafted with lots of effort

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Which probably makes sense given the idea that Robonoid could be a video game too.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

True

and it is one in-story

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Yes, crafted. And yes.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

if shin was a squatter him not locking the door makes sense

im totally banking on him being a squatter in hiding

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

True

Also every time I hear "squatter"

I imagine Shin listening to Russian gangsta music

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Shin, you gotta build your thighs. Do some squats.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i always wondered why no other neighbor complained about shin. like certainly someone shouldve been busybody enough to go around knocking on doors being like "do you believe this shit"

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yes

#Squatnation

also this

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Yeah, if he could hear the kid in the apartment below, couldn't they hear him listening to Robonoid?

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Doesn't he have like, two or four other neghibors?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

He is on the second floor. Bit of a weird place to squat. Got to carry all your stuffs upstairs.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yes

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Yeah, the kid mentioned he was hearing the robonoid theme

and he loved it

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Kabocha: Oh, that's right. Good catch.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Kudos to Kabo for catching that

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

maybe meirin just picked a really shitty apartment

since nobody cares

just loud neighbors being loud

normal tuesday

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

It's cheap. ^^

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

#LoudTuesday

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Here's a final puzzler. Do you think 'The Robonoid Fan' could also refer to Meirin, rather than Shin? Because she wasn't a fan, then became one, whereas Shin's whole persona seemed to be based on lies.

Well, that or denials.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i think it could be argued to refer to both of them.

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

I think it's for both.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

That's what I thought at first

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

since the themes were largely about how neither was completely right or wrong

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

But yeah applying it to both sounds accurate(edited)

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

It's not plural though.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

but both their ideas combined was the true answer

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Or well, it probably centers around Shin, like the Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi is... about haruhi, but the main chara is really Kyon

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lol

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Shin is our troublesome character, who just happens to not be actually.... good at being a hero. SORRY SHIN.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Hmmm, interesting. (Oh, I hope Shin doesn't have amazing powers.)

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

its a title, doesnt have to be plural to apply to both. cause metaphor.

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

You don't get cookies for that scene in the epilogue, even though we all know Meirin made the right decisioooon

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Very meta. 4.

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

I know, it's probably both, but I'm just being silly at this point in the evening :3

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Oh Kabo~ :3(edited)

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

All good. Me too. Haven't even brought up any ships.

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Meirin x Connie forever.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Well the epilogue conforms a ship and denies another

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Meirin x Big Sis?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

meirin x robonoid

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

just a small teaser

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Wait, wait: Crack theory before we run out of time

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

DO IT

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Meirin IS Big Sis

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

CRACK IT OPEN

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Robonoid takes place before The Angel with Black Wings

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

OMGGGG

I CAN SEE IT(edited)

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Meirin dies and becomes Big Sis. She wants to be called "Lola" as a rememberance to Shin. AND RAY IS SECRETLY HER LOVE CHILD WITH SHIN -- lookit the spiky hair

(lola being similar to "granny")

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

shin is ray's dad #confirmed

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Maybe they're just twin sisters.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

this is the narrative i will push from now on

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

This explains SO MUCH

Kabocha: going off the rails at the last minute.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

YES

🌟Draco Plato🌟

looooool

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

ANYWAY THIS COMIC IS GREAT READ IT PLS

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

tbf i didnt connect their hair till now XD

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

https://gumroad.com/mharz Buy Mharz's comics!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY END! Unfortunately, the scheduled Comic Tea Party time is now up~! Thank you everyone so much for reading and joining this week’s chat~! We want to give a special thank you to Mharz, as well, for making The Robonoid Fan and volunteering it for our reading queue. If you liked the comic, please be sure to support Mharz’s efforts however you’re able to. All that being said, if you would like to continue discussing this week’s comic, we highly encourage you to do so~!

For next week, Comic Tea Party will focus on Evil Witch Allie by Kristin Tipping. As always, please use the next several days to read as much of the comic as you would like. We hope to see you next Thursday on April 19th from 5PM to 7PM PDT for the chat~! Until then, happy reading~! Comic: http://www.evilwitchallie.com/