#but if drew a stranger in the park that’s not fan art

[halloweeneva]

Okay so, while I was working on the leviathan comic (complete version here) I saved a version of the wip to make sure tumblr would cooperate with the comic layout I had in my head. Recently one of my friends convinced me to share it as an insight into my process so I’m going to walk you through some of it!

Warning: long post ahead

Starting with inspiration, the original poem was very evocative and really called to me. I do a lot of art of skeletons and hands and mythology and I knew those elements would play really well with the poem.

In all honesty I’m much more of a physical artist than a digital one, so all of my comics start with pencil and paper thumbnails to really help me nail down my ideas. (though as you can see, by the time I get to actually making things sometimes I lose or change elements as I go!)

Even in my original sketches I knew that I wanted the panel of the first background to be negative space and for the pillars to physically be the white of the page, basically making it so that the rest of the comic literally rests on top of them. (Note that the background of the comic begins and ends with a fade into white.)

Going into this I knew that I wanted to play with a limited warm and nonliteral color pallet, and that I wanted to play with breaking the comic boxes. I didn’t initially plan on using purple or blue at all, but it ended up being important to provide contrast (it’s hard to get some of those colors to show up when lettering) and to really emphasize the drowning/whalefall/leviathan imagery.

Red was an important color for this story, the original poem by @/narcissistcookbook used it to add a punch and I knew that I would need to use it in a similar way. it became a great contrast for my lovely skeleton hands and worked very well as flesh beneath the scratches on my big hand. My favorite though was using that initial inversion to turn the ribs red in the next panel. I really liked the fact that they weren’t white and I got to play with scale by fading the other side of the ribs so that they looked like an environment unto themselves. Then I pulled most of the red out so that the blue could really wash over the image and give the reader a minute to breathe, really emphasizing the quiet of being underwater. Then we get the crow eating flesh, the leviathan’s glowing red eye sockets, and the word Devoured. The restraint in the prior section is what really gives these elements such a punch, they���re the first things to draw your eye and the most important to understanding the image.

In the final page we also see the return of white, turning the bones of the leviathan back into pillars and bringing the comic full circle.

The whalefall section was improvised on the page and all of the elements evolved from the first very rough image shown below. I really liked the idea of showing the whole body that had previously only been seen as snapshots of certain parts. The yellow body was a bit too plain though and in noodling on the page I realized that I could use negative space and erase out parts of the body to add detail and emphasize how dead the body was. It started with the skull and then I realized I could use the same skeleton idea to emphasize the fingers/arm/rib elements right next to the text talking about it.

Once everything is 90% done, it gets very easy to spend hours on minor tweaks and I personally start to get bored. So my system is that even if it isn’t 100% polished I will declare it finished. There will always be little things that you could have changed or done better no matter how long you work on something, and critically, NO ONE is going to nitpick it except you and jerks who are just looking for an excuse to be rude. Art is not precious, it is not perfect, it is human. Imperfect art is a million times better than no art.

[mdhwrites]

I think Dana explained the betas though, it was the characters in a much different, heavier and darker story, that probably would have leaned more into the idea of witches and… well hell. Since Hieronymus Bosch drew lots of purgatory images. But you cant really do that for Disney. Plus to be fair, you’re meant to be able to throw ideas at a wall (even if they are very unlikely to work) for concept art and then be willing to immediately dump stuff and try new ideas without getting attached.

 Side note, while the big selling point for the Betas is that they are edgy or can be used to explore darker subjects, people sometimes just make them borderline evil, or just… actual evil, did you know its very easy to find beta fics tagged with non con and/or underage? Yea. They make Willow actively hateful and sadistic or make the Lumity ship a copy paste of Catradora, aka have them beat the life out of each other but then say uwu owo its not toxic, they love each other.

(seriously i cannot take ship discourse in fandoms seriously, they'll say one ship is toxic or problematic and turn around and ship the same thing but worse.)

For the first point... You're absolutely right. I should not judge for someone exploring different possibilities in concept art because I have no idea when in production that art was made or what the idea for the show was at the time. A LOT of things go through a half a dozen rewrites before the public ever sees them. Frozen apparently came down to the wire for its final plot and it's a miracle we got what we did at all. And even then, I think that movie is still a bit of a mess at times.

Also, fun fact, I have considered an Owl House AU where Luz went to hell instead. In that, Eda would be a demon looking for redemption and her only real ally, but also the only one trying to be real with her so Luz keeps thinking the demons who want to manipulate her are the ones to trust. Amity would have also been an angel undercover and supposed to be giving reports to god about the comatose child who's soul went to hell for some reason when the worst she deserves is Limbo. I could do a concept pitch blog for it but *shrug*

So I think it's personally wrong to conflate canon material with fan material and what is being criticized. Fanworks and the like are one of the safest places to explore different topics or express pain and the like you've had. It also only commonly has one or two eyes on it to say something might be toxic while media on tv usually has a few dozen and the fact that no one catches the red flags is... questionable. Especially why those red flags exist.

(As a note: I can't weigh in on if Catradora is toxic or not because I have watched only one episode of that show. Not even the first. I really ought to though since it seems up my alley.)

WITH THAT SAID, fanfiction authors aren't exactly going to always be respectful about such topics and the like and it took the majority of a year for anyone to tell me people used the Betas for more than murderous, drug addicted psycopaths. Even those people praised a story for having the two get into random fist fights with strangers in a Denny's parking lot so... Yeah. I'm not going to say the characterization of the Betas in the fandom is the best, or their use for that matter.

With all that said, I feel like the nicer Amity has become, and the more the two have come closer and closer to their Beta designs, the less I see of the Betas. Even now, I see lot less blood smears and sadistic grins and a lot more "It's just a normal Lumity picture except a different design." These aren't criticisms really but more just me ruminating on the fact that I think the fandom lost a lot of people who liked the edgier possibilities because of how poorly the show handled its own edge.

As for me as a content creator, have I ever considered using the Betas? I mean, I have for a one off or two, notably a one off where Luz is a dragon and Amity the willing sacrifice to her, but a one off can be hard to capture anything really interesting about them. I'd say I've only had one idea where I maybe wanted to use the Betas and that idea is a Noir Mystery? (It's complicated) story where Amity is a brothel owner in part to make her mom mad, Boscha is both bouncer and stripper for said brothel and dating Amity and Luz is a detective but not super gritty or the like. More Columbo (from what I hear, haven't seen it myself) than normal pulpy fiction Noir types. Also her detective style would lean a lot more into reading people and connections than forensics.

Another story I could do a concept pitch blog for since god only knows when or if I'll ever get to it. That idea is WAY more fleshed out than the going to hell one though.

But yeah, the betas are fine in my opinion to exist and mostly fine in how the fandom uses them because... I mean, if you don't like what they're being used for, just don't consume it. It's not necessary AT ALL to be a part of the fandom and I think a lot of fandoms really need to learn to chill about content creators creating content they don't like.

I don't think people realize the sorts of spaces they're creating within their own fandom because of that or the damage to their show's popularity either. It's a complicated topic and one I've had to give a lot of thought as, well... Ex-erotica writer, remember? And I've still done one erotic story for TOH too, even if it's aged up.

[stuff-from-the-void-matron]

Laurel Wreaths & Animal Teeth (7)

(c!Technoblade x fem!Reader)

(I know y’all are getting tired of waiting for Techno to arrive, so am I! But I have no solid control over the story plot lol but I swear it’ll happen soon!! And y’all know the drill! Reblogs and comments keep this story going. So if you want a chapter 8 then please show this chapter some love! <3)

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(FORGOT TO MENTION ART!

The amazing 'YeetUsFeTUSDelETusss' on DA was so cool and drew two pictures to bless our eyes!!)

READER HERSELF!

READER PROTECTING HER BOYS!

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Only Tubbo showed up the next day, and he said he sadly couldn’t stay for long because him and Tommy were needed back at L’manburg for a while. Meaning him and Tommy wouldn’t be able to visit for a bit, but they’d try to visit as soon as possible! Hearing they’d not come see you for who knows how long made you pretty sad. You honestly looked forward to when they’d visit. It was honestly the highlight of your day. But you knew whatever nonsense was going on in L’manburg currently would need their attention. Though you wondered what exactly was going on. You recalled a decent amount of the ‘history’ of the Dream SMP but you knew you could be misremembering or even mixing things up. But you did remember the big things that happened. Like the wars and stuff. So needless to say you were concerned.

‘What point in history am I in right now? Whenever it is, L’manburg is apparently still standing,’ you thought pensively before asking Tubbo what was going on that they’d need to stay in L’manburg.

Tubbo sighed and said it was ‘just some drama’ but apparently their, meaning his and Tommy’s, older brother figure Wilbur had been president of L’manburg for the entirety of the time L’manburg had existed. But some new citizens who joined them found out he’d not been properly elected and didn’t think it was fair to everyone that Wilbur had basically just made himself president without any input from everyone else. Which you could see was not right but this information told you that you were in the pre-election time. Which meant Schlatt and Quackity hadn’t won yet… But that hinged on this universe even being the same one that you’d watched on youtube. Things could be different here for all you knew. You’d always believed in the multiverse theory so who was to know WHICH universe this was. Or how you even got here. All you could do really was to just… wait and watch.

A couple hours passed during the short visit and towards the end Tubbo showed you how to message others, ie; him and Tommy mostly. You’d known how to message others and put in commands and stuff in regular minecraft but you’d just sort of never thought to try those things here in this place. Though to be fair you’d been dealing with a lot of stuff so fiddling with your inventory and everything hadn’t been your top priority. And when he’d mentioned messaging him your first thought had been ‘how?’, because this was a ‘real life’ minecraft, where things were very similar but not always exactly like how it was in the real game. The biggest difference being that there was no computer keyboard or ‘screen’ for the type/chat option to be at the bottom of like in the game.

But to your surprise the place to type in a message was actually IN your inventory. More specifically it was at the very bottom of the main section right below where your items were stored in the hot bar. You’d never paid the long ultra thin box at the bottom any mind, assuming it was just part of the weird design. But no, Tubbo showed you with his inventory how if you tap on the thin box (that you’d honestly thought was just a line) it expands into a typing window! Your eyes widened at that and watched as he tapped the typing box again and a little keyboard appeared below the typing box and he started typing something into it. You squinted and he said to message someone you needed to be sure to type ‘/msg’ and then whoever’s name you’d like to send the message to!

He demonstrated this by typing out the first part then right after it typing your ‘name’; aka Reader. Briefly you wondered why it had been made that but you brushed that thought away to focus on what Tubbo was doing. You saw him type ‘hi reader!!’ before hitting Enter. Then a second later you heard a soft ‘ping!’ sound and you just KNEW your inventory was waiting to be pulled up. Like knew in an instinctual sense. Like how you knew to blink or how to walk. Just an instinct you couldn’t explain so you brought it up and there at the bottom the ‘line’ was flashing a pale red. So you did what Tubbo had done and tapped it, revealing the little typing box. Only this time it had a message in it! It said, ‘Tubbo whispers to you: hi reader!!’ and you smile. Excited now you type out a message to him and hit send. He got it and laughed after he read it. 

‘Reader whispered to you: hello my little goat boy!! :)’

After that he blinked when more messages popped onto his text box. These were from Tommy and Wilbur it looked like. With a sigh he checked his clock and dismissed his chat box before saying he was sorry but he had to get going. He’d actually stayed longer than he was supposed to. You were sad to see him go but knew he’d be back, and hey, now you could message him and Tommy to make sure they got back to L’manburg safe instead of just wondering like before. So you told him to be careful on his way back and to message you that he was safe home when he arrived, and also if he needed any help. He laughed and cheekily said he would but gave a shy smile when you pulled him into a hug and gently knocked your antlers with his horns, but he happily returned it. Not so secretly enjoying the affection. But he had to pull back and leave.

That left you to your own devices.

-0-

With nothing better to do you initially spent the next three days building a couple fountains in the village (which was getting pretty big..). One tiny frog shaped one in the little grotto at the west side of the village and a much larger more traditional one in the opposite side of the village. You’d even set up park benches, flower plots, lamp posts, and stone sidewalk around the bigger one. It was very pretty and the villagers seemed to be enjoying it. But after that was done you’d sorta gotten bored. You weren’t really inspired to do anything else to the village so you thought of ways to occupy yourself. Eventually a metaphorical lightbulb flickered to life above your head and you got an idea. 

You could go to the Nether! 

Sure you weren’t the biggest fan of the place but it beat sitting around twiddling your thumbs waiting for a reply from your only two friends like some loser. And hey, you liked giving piglins gold. They made cute little piggy snorts when they were happy. So with that loose plan in mind you got up from where you’d been lounging by the creek and brushed yourself off before heading out to the place outside the bamboo and prickle berry wall you’d placed the first Nether portal. You crafted one real quick before tensing up when you heard the sound of rustling behind you. Assuming it was a creeper or something you glanced back, not that it would hurt you but you still found it unsettling for anything to be sneaking up behind you. You caught a brief glimpse of something small and white disappearing into a cluster of ferns. You paused, wondering what it was but then about a block to the left of the ferns a chicken and her chick walked out from around a tree. ‘Oh, must have just been a baby chicken’, you thought with a mental shrug before turning back to your task of lighting the portal with your flint and steel.

Once activated you stepped into the purple swirling mist and your vision warped before you ended up in the Nether again, stifling heat and all. 

-0-

You’d been exploring the Nether for what felt like hours. The place was goddamn enormous! You’d followed the same sand block trail from the last time you’d been here, seeing the piglins and a few striders along the way. And to your delight a familiar little piglin baby started following you. She (you think she’s a ‘she’, that’s the vibe you’re getting anyways) had to be the one you’d played with the last time you’d been in the Nether. You crouched down and patted her head and pulled a golden carrot from your inventory before gifting it to her. She squealed happily and munched on it. You kept walking along the sand path before reaching the fortress. That’s when you diverted your path to the right and started exploring that way, careful to keep laying down sand as you did. You thought the baby piglin had stayed back but after a while of walking you heard a soft snort and glanced down to the left of you to see her happily trotting along with you, still nibbling on the golden carrot.

You wanted to melt, she was such a cutie pie. You stopped and asked if she should be travelling so far away. Won’t her parents miss her? She blinks and seems to understand you before shaking her head ‘no’. You figure she must have some pretty lenient parents. But you suppose piglins are sturdier than humans so it makes sense they’d keep their kids on a looser leash than humans would. So you ask her where her parents are and if they’d be okay with her wandering off with you, a stranger. She tilts her head and shrugs. You purse your lips and ask if she can take you to her parents so you can ask if they’d be okay with it. This time she shakes his head no. So you ask her why and she seems to be thinking how to answer before she goes over to the closest block of sand and starts drawing in it. You look over her shoulder and see her drawing three hearts. Then your stomach sinks when you see her draw an ‘X’ over each heart, meaning one thing..

“Oh sweetie, did your parents lose all their lives?” you ask in a gentle tone.

The tiny piglin nodded and your heart broke for her. You asked some more questions and discovered she wasn’t really being taken care of by any one piglin. The other piglins knew her parents were gone so they’d sorta chip in to make sure she had food. But that was really it. This made you feel worse so you just sighed and patted her head and said she could join you while you explored the Nether. She snorted happily and you two continued on your way. Eventually after walking for a bit you came across a warped forest. You had to admit the biome was much prettier in person. The stark contrast between the Nether’s usual red color scheme and the teal of the warped forest was really beautiful. Even the weird little green/orange fungus that were growing everywhere were cute. You even picked a handful to keep, placing them in your inventory before continuing your little jaunt with the baby piglin. 

That last thought made you mentally pause and realize that you couldn’t just keep calling this kid ‘baby piglin’. So you stopped walking and looked down before saying you forgot to introduce yourself. She could call you Reader (since that’s what your little name thing said..). Then you asked what her name was. She blinked before snorting a little, like she was clearing her throat, and said, “Azogamay.” 

You smiled and said you liked her name, making her give a cute little tusked smile. Then as you continued exploring you both made small talk. Nothing deep (how deep could conversation get with a little kid) but you asked each other the usual questions. Like favorite foods, favorite colors, favorite animals, etc. Then Azo (you’d taken to shortening her name to make it easier) answered one of your questions with some gibberish that made you pause. You glanced down at her and gave a ‘huh?’ that made her giggle before apparently remembering you weren’t a piglin. She said she forgot and spoke Piglin. That made you raise your eyebrows because you’d never thought about other species in the game having their own language. But now that you were thinking about it, it totally made sense. Of course they would, duh. Now very curious you asked her to teach you a little! Like did she know how your name would be said in Piglin? Her answer surprised you…

“Eaderray!” she said in her quiet baby voice.

Now you two had entered a wide soul sand valley, which made Azo anxious. She hid behind your leg, making you recall that Piglins didn’t really spawn in this biome or like soul fire (which is super common here). You had to admit the place was rather creepy. It didn’t help that the soul sand beneath your feet was emitting a rather creepy whispery wail. So you decided to turn back and try another direction. Azo seemed relieved and trotted along behind you. But once you were walking again you remembered your last thought and had a vague feeling about this ‘piglin speak’ and wanted to hear more. So you asked Azo some other words, just to test this theory of yours. And well…

Skeleton? Eletonskay…

Blaze? Azeblay…

Strider? Iderstray…

Lava? Avalay...

Gold? ...Oldgay (that may have made you snicker).

But you got the idea and honestly you cannot be held accountable for your reaction after you realized Piglins honest to fucking god spoke PIG LATIN.

You lost it. You laughed so hard you doubled over and had to brace your hands on your knees to keep from collapsing onto the ground. Azo didn’t know what was so funny but your laughter was contagious and she ended up laughing too, intermixed with little snorts that made you laugh even harder. It was a whole cycle. And by the end of it you’d laughed so hard you started coughing and had to sit down to catch your breath. The giggles returned a couple times but eventually you got control over yourself enough to be able to breathe normally again. As you sat there, little Azo looking up at you in amusement, you couldn’t believe the absolute batshit nonsense that was happening in your life right now. But out of everything that had happened, you think finding out Piglins spoke pig latin had to be the funniest. Though you wanted to test your theory further so you said to Azo,

“Ellohay Azogamay, isyay isthay ightray?”

Azo’s eyes brightened and she perked up, looking close to bouncing from excitement as she realized you were speaking ‘Piglin’ to her. She started babbling at the speed of light, in a way that all excited toddlers seemed to be able to do. While it was cute enough to pull a chuckle from you the downside was that you could not understand a single word Azo said. You got her to slow down, telling her you didn’t speak Piglin fluently so she would have to go slow with you otherwise you’d be lost. She nodded, just happy that you could understand Piglin. So she slowed down a lot and chatted with you that way. And that’s pretty much how the rest of your time in the Nether went. You traversed through the hellish dimension and brushed up on your pig latin with the little piglin. 

It has definitely been a LONG time since you’d even thought about the made up ‘language’. You’d had a friend in elementary school who had been Obsessed with it. It was all they spoke sometimes and they’d talked it up so much that it caught on with the rest of the class, yourself included, and soon everyone was using it to write notes to each other, like a secret language. You’d even speak to each other only in pig latin during recess and lunch breaks. You’d been fluent in it and didn’t even have to think before speaking. Though after a year it had lost its popularity and everyone slowly stopped using it since the fad was over. But you still remembered a good deal of it. Enough to speak it slowly anyways. But the more you used it the easier it was to speak it. It was like riding a bike you supposed, you never truly forgot it.

-0-

Things were going fine until they weren’t. You’d stopped to have lunch in a crimson forest, more for Azo’s benefit than your own, and were sitting and eating for a while before Azo started playing with a baby hoglin. Which had been fine, you’d seen baby piglins and hoglins do that in the game before, no biggie. But they’d gotten rambunctious the way kids do when they’re playing together. And while chasing each other around Azo had smacked into one of the adult hoglins, which had pissed it off enough for it to snarl angrily and start chasing Azo. And Azo in turn began squealing in fear while running away. You’d dropped the steak you’d been idly munching on and sprinted after the two. Sadly the hoglin was closer to Azo than you and managed to get one good hit in with its tusks, the force behind it practically yeeting Azo up into the air. You yelled in horror as you watched the baby piglin fall down into a lava filled ravine. 

Panic flooded your body, you knew zombie piglins were fireproof but regular piglins were not as far as you knew. Let alone baby piglins who just took a direct hit from a damn hoglin. So without thinking about it you dove into the ravine after Azo, catching her in your arms and fully planning to hold her up above the lava since it wouldn’t hurt you. Once she was in your arms you jerked back instinctively, not sure why, just maybe bracing for the impact with the lava. You waited but… nothing. About that second you realized that you weren’t moving anymore. You’d come to a halt and at first you wondered if maybe you’d landed on a block and not noticed. But… one glance down revealed you were not in fact standing on a block. Actually you weren’t standing on anything. You were hovering about 3 or 4 blocks above the bubbling lava at the bottom of the ravine. You were so stunned that you almost missed the sniffling snorts that started up next to your face but thankfully they broke you out of your shocked state. You looked at Azo and your heart broke when you saw her tearing up and looking close to crying. Forgetting momentarily about whatever the fuck was going on with you floating you focused on soothing her.

“Aw sweetie, are you okay? You took a hit from that hoglin, where does it hurt?” you cooed.

She was babbling mostly, being too upset to try to speak English. And understanding crying pig latin was almost impossible. So you just asked her to point where it hurt. She reached for her back and side and you softly told her you were going to lift her shirt a little bit to see if there was a mark, and she nodded shakily and sniffled while you did. You winced at the blooming bruise and adjusted her so you were basically cradling her and with your free hand you opened your inventory and started looking through the potions. You grabbed a healing potion and uncorked it before offering it to Azo, whose snout wrinkled at the potion. You told her it was alright, it was a healing potion that would make her feel better and get rid of those bruises for her. She looked unsure but still let you raise the mouth of the potion bottle to her lips so she could sip it. She took a few sips before hiccuping, potion swirls wafting off of her after she did. The baby piglin blinked and felt the pain in her back and side start to disappear. 

You smiled and said that must feel better, Azo nodded and was happy she wasn’t hurting anymore. You let her take one more sip for good measure before putting the cork back into the bottle and stashing it in your inventory. But once that was done you were reminded of your current predicament. You were still floating in place above a ravine of lava.. With zero clue on how to move too. Briefly you internally panicked at the thought of just.. never being able to move again!! Being stuck fixed in one spot forever with no way to get down or live freely! Though before you could panic further you took a deep breath and told yourself to relax. This wasn’t permanent, it couldn’t be. There logically has to be a way for you to move. You got yourself stuck here and you’ll get yourself down as well.

And the last thing you wanted was to look scared with Azo here with you. She was just a little kid and needed the only adult around to be strong for her. So you put on a smile and reassured her that things will be okay and you’ll figure out how to get them both safe on land in no time. Azo nodded, looking less worried than before. So you started trying things you think would get you to move. You could move your limbs no problem. Proven by how you could move Azo around with your arms and kick your legs about without issue. But your body as a whole was still locked in place. Though when you leaned your upper body to the left you hit a breakthrough! Tilting your torso to the left managed to move your whole body to the left by about a block and a half! Now onto the right path you started leaning your torso this way and that, figuring out what movements actually got you moving and which ones didn’t. Figuring out how to move side to side and forwards and back was pretty easy. But it was figuring out up and down that was tricky. 

At the moment going down was the last thing you were interested in, what with the lava beneath you. So you tried focusing on going up, and after a lot more wiggling about that you were sure made you look like an idiot to anyone who could be watching (Azo only giggled a little) you finally figured out that to go up you had to tense and stretch your torso a specific way. Like exactly how you would do if you were trying to reach something on the top shelf, only you didn’t have to move your arms or legs the same way, just your torso. Like how people straighten themselves to seem taller, not slouching at all. After getting that down you manage to go up and then over out of the ravine. Which was a relief and a half. Now that the threat of sinking into lava wasn’t a worry you instead fixated on getting down. Thanks to figuring out how to get up you had an easier time getting the hang of getting down.

Once your feet touched the ground the floating thing disappeared and gravity was restored to you, making you able to walk around normally again. You gave a small cheer, Azo snorting happily as you carried her back to your spot on one of the crimson mushroom tree tops. Once seated you let out a breath and felt your shoulders relax. You hadn’t even been aware they’d been so tense, but you guess it made sense what with how you just sorta had a weird physics related mishap. But now that you and little Azo were safe you felt like you could breathe again. 

You took a golden apple out of your inventory and took a bite, the sweet juice soothing your metaphorical ruffled feathers. You noticed you mostly just eat for the taste now. Which was fine you guessed. When you glanced down you held the apple close to Azo’s face, asking in semi-good piglin if she wanted a bite, chuckling when she eagerly sunk her little teeth into the sweet fruity flesh of it. You gave her the rest and just watched the other Nether inhabitants mill about peacefully. Today had been a wild ride for sure. At least compared to your usual peaceful days. You leaned back against the lump of red fungus behind you, Azo cradled in your arms, and sighed calmly. You’d been ready to rest your eyes when you heard a soft ‘ping!’ that had you blinking back into focus. It was your communicator app thing. Thinking it was just Tubbo messaging you to say goodnight or something you casually opened the message. But when you did you raised an eyebrow at the note from your kid.

‘Tubbo whispers to you: the election is tomorrow afternoon, can you come? 

‘Tubbo whispers to you: i’ve got a bad feeling.. i’m not trying to pull you into our mess’

‘Tubbo whispers to you: but idk i’d feel better if you were there.’

You had a bad feeling too… You hoped what you likely knew was going to happen DIDN’T happen but.. it probably was. So you sent back a quick reply to Tubbo.

‘You whisper to Tubbo: of course I will! you can show me around your home! :)

You tried to keep your reply upbeat and happy, not wanting to feed into the teenager’s worry. Even though you were probably more worried now that he was. But regardless.

It looked like you were visiting L’manburg.

[thedaddie]

Hey there! I would like to participate in the haikyuu matchup event.

female // hetero // 5'7 ft. // dark brown eyes // jet black hair

personality: I'm a quiet person who enjoys observing people and how they act in situations. If I find a person interesting or reversed, I initiate the conversation. I don't like small talk, but more than willing to find a topic we both enjoy. I love the arts (concerts, fine art, literature, philosophy) and science (animal bio, human bio, plant bio, multi universes). I get pretty passionate about certain topics I know. I love it when someone gets interested or wants to learn more.

love language: positive affirmations.

hobbies: reading, writing, drawing, and researching.

likes: owls (all kinds), night hours, rain showers.

dislikes: early mornings, compromised belief, excessive apologies.

hi babe!! thanks for requesting!! i match you with…

KITA SHINSUKE

YALLLLLLLL

ok so you guys met completely on accident!

you were in a hurry leaving the school to get home and bumped into someone (can you guess who?) and your stuff went flying 😐

you’re not too keen on staying and talking to this person cause at this point you’re late to get home AND you’re irritated so you just scoop up whatever is on the floor and walk away

it’s not until you actually arrive home when you realize YOU PICKED UP THE STRANGERS PHONE

AND IT SUCKS EVEN MORE BECAUSE YOU DIDNT EVEN LOOK AT THEM SO YOU DONT KNOW WHO IT IS AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO

but then the phone rang :D

you answered it obviously and here’s a NOT EXACT summary of what happened:

you: hello? 😟

??: hi you took my phone haha

you: i’m so sorry it was an accident i was in a hurry-

??: it’s fine! my name’s kita, do you wanna meet up and exchange some stuff? i think there’s a few things i’m missing that you probably have and vice versa

at this point you’re so embarrassed cause YOU TOOK SO MUCH AND HE HAS YOUR STUFF AHHHH

but luckily kita is super nice about it! you guys agree to meet at this park near your school to exchange everything the next morning

and you arrive and see him and recognize him as the captain of your schools volleyball team!

you were initially planning on just giving him his stuff and taking yours back then leaving but something about him just made you want to stay

after some casual chatting for a few minutes, he convinces you to walk to school with him

the entire time he had you laughing and blushing, it ended up being the most pleasant part of your day!

when you got to school he asked if you wanted to hang out sometime and you’re like ☺️omg yes☺️

SO NOW YOURE TOGETHER

and he’s honestly the most clingy person ever

like you wouldn’t expect it from his stoic mature ass mostly just cause he doesn’t like pda outside of the occasional peck or hand holding

but this man LIVES for cuddling

and at school he’s always by your side

this dude is never more than 10 ft away from you at all times i stg

plus you guys just talk for HOURS

once y’all find a conversation topic you run with it

some of his favorites of yours are the ones you have regarding philosophy, multiple universes, and plant bio (his farmer ass 🙄)

he lets you go on about things for however long you want! hearing you talk about what you find interesting warms his heart 😊

kita is the type of person who feels a lot but he doesn’t outwardly express it as often

around you though? he’s free to do whatever he feels comfortable with and he’s incredibly grateful that you’ll never judge him for it :)

he secretly wishes that one day you guys can pull a Notebook and kiss in the rain 😭

(because ever since he got with you, he’s been watching a lot of romantic movies 🥰)

one time you drew him and i swear he almost cried HE LOVED IT SO MUCH

he asked you to design some flyers for the team and whenever someone asked who drew them he was like “my girlfriend ☺️”

kita was never really a huge fan of reading but you got him reading all your favorites!! now whenever he passes by a bookstore he goes in and buys one he thinks you’ll like 😫

he ALWAYS walks you home from school!!

sun, snow, wind, rain HES THERE

even if he has practice he always allots some time for the rest of the team to warmup while he makes sure you get home safe 🥲

if you’re the type to write stories or poetry, he’ll always read them if you are comfortable!! he even tries to write things about you, but he gets embarrassed to show them AWWW

i truly do see kita as a classic romantic

because he’s dedicated and caring and wants to make sure you’re happy no matter what

his ways of displaying his love are somewhat foreign to you, as he isn’t the type to tell you what feels but instead show it

his love language is definitely acts of service!

things like letting you sleep in late while he wakes up early, going out of his way to buy you your favorite snack or a cute little owl plushie, and making sure you’ve fallen asleep after staying up too late with him on the phone

even though he’s not the telling type, he loves that you are :) nothing brightens his day more when he wakes up to a good morning text, little love notes in his locker, and love affirmations when he’s nervous before games

you’ve brought him out of his comfort zone a lot!! he’d never thought he be the one excited to go to a concert or fascinated by biology but you’ve brought so much love into his life it’s amazing 🥰

in the end PLEASE GIVE THIS BOY HIS KISS IN THE RAIN I LOVE YALL

—

moodboard:

“and that’s why i think that we should go see it-“

“no babe, no-“

“but yes! it would be so fun!”

kita chuckles, angling his head down.

currently, you’re begging your boyfriend to take you to see a movie and he is almost certain it will make you cry. but, you’re relentless.

“i just think it would be a good watch,” you clutch his arm tightly, stepping up slightly to kiss his cheek.

“and i think it’ll make you burst into tears.” he says with adorable smug smile.

the autumn wind is cool, just enough for it to make goosebumps rise on your arms. kita pulls you closer to keep you warm for the rest of the walk back to your house.

it isn’t long before you two are at your front door and you’re about to invite him inside when his phone chimes. he takes a peek at the screen and groans.

“i’ve gotta get back. tsumu and samu are fighting again.”

“go set them straight, captain.” with one last kiss and a final wave, kita sets back the way you came. before he can completely disappear out of your view, though, he turns around.

“call you later!” he shouts.

“and the movie?” you yell back.

“we’ll be there,” he smiles. “bring your tissues.”

—

songs for your matchup :)

thank you for requesting!! have a lovely day 😊

[uomo-accattivante]

Several people have asked me about the Juilliard classmate who co-starred with Oscar in the school’s production of Chekhov’s Three Sisters. Her name was Sarah Fox, and she was destined to become a star, in her own right, before sadly becoming a victim of a still-unsolved homicide in May, 2004. 

The following is a quote about Oscar’s statement to the New York Times and the article it originated from:

“Oscar Isaac, a fellow third-year drama student, said Ms. Fox was known for her constellation of hugs. The one reserved exclusively for Mr. Isaac would require each of them to tickle each other's backs while embracing.”

(📷: Serena Reeder)

Her story has much of the familiar ring of the young aspirant's tale. She was a radiant young woman with a repertoire of special hugs, imbued with talent and brimming with hope. From the far reaches of New Jersey, she came to study at one of New York's fabled cultural institutions and to wonder if one day destiny might find her. People took notice. She glowed.

Sarah Fox's story ended when her badly decomposed body was found on Tuesday by a volunteer search party in the thickets near a jogging path in Inwood Hill Park in northern Manhattan. Positive identification was made yesterday, law enforcement authorities said, after her mother presented dental records to the medical examiner's office.

The police said that she had been strangled, though they were uncertain whether by hand or by another method, and they could not determine if she had been sexually assaulted. The bizarre placement of petals and branches from a tulip tree around the body raised the question that the killing may have had a ritualistic element. The police said they were without suspects but were casting a wide net.

Ms. Fox was 21, 5 feet 2 inches tall, with blue eyes and strawberry blond hair that she wore short on the sides and spiked on top. She was a student in the drama department at the Juilliard School, the performing arts conservatory at Lincoln Center. The rarefied air of its sleekly modern buildings have produced a long list of hallowed names including Miles Davis, Philip Glass, Yo-Yo Ma, Itzhak Perlman, Nina Simone and Robin Williams.

Ms. Fox was starry-eyed with her own high aspirations for a stage career. She drew a favorable response for her versatility, just as convincingly playing the conniving Natasha in Chekhov's ''Three Sisters'' as she did a bird in the Aristophanes play ''The Birds.'' A fellow drama student at Juilliard remarked on how ''brave, open, accomplished'' she was as an actress.

Recently, though, she had taken a leave from the school. Her relatives said she had found Juilliard very demanding and simply needed a brief interlude to replenish herself. She intended to resume her studies in the fall as a third-year student.

The abrupt and jarring end to her life left Juilliard bewildered. The discovery equally stunned the city itself. Though Ms. Fox's movements in the hours leading to her death remain unclear, it appears that a young woman went out to jog well before dusk, in a park where children played and people walked their dogs, only to encounter a murderer that no one saw.

For an hour and a half yesterday morning, members of the Juilliard drama department gathered to collectively address her death. This took place in Room 304, a classroom that has become something of a designated grieving room. In recent years, similar grim assemblages occurred. Several years ago, another third-year drama student was found dead and the room filled up. It did again last year when a student's sister was murdered. It was the same place where students gathered after Sept. 11.

In the room that one student characterized as ''an emotional vortex,'' more than 150 people mourned Sarah Fox, an astonishing number given that classes had ended for the academic year a week ago and many students had dispersed. A second-year drama student who attended the session said the event was ''uplifting'' even though virtually everyone was in tears. Ms. Fox's boyfriend, a Juilliard drama graduate, was among those who spoke.

Later in the day, about 70 students and faculty members returned to campus for a half-hour memorial service in one of the dance studios. Filing out of the building, Jane Cho, 31, a former piano student and now a career counselor at Juilliard, said, ''It was dark and a lot of people were crying.''

Joseph W. Polisi, Juilliard's president, issued a statement saying: ''She reached out eloquently to others through her exceptional ability as an actress. Her senseless loss leaves us all feeling a profound sorrow.''

Ms. Fox grew up in a family of modest means in Pennsauken, in southern New Jersey. She had an older sister, Samantha. Her father, a car mechanic, died of cancer 10 years ago, and her mother sometimes held two jobs to raise the two girls. She currently lives in Gibbstown, N.J., and is a manager for a mortgage company.

Ms. Fox caught the acting bug as a girl and filled her summers performing in shows. She also developed a strong interest in music, and she liked to jog to keep fit.

In an interview with The Courier-Post of New Jersey before her daughter's body was found, Lorraine Fox recounted how she had impressed on Sarah the dangers of the world. When Sarah was little, they played a game called ''What If?'' Her mother would ask a question like, ''What if a stranger came up and asked you to help find a dog?''

Ms. Fox would learn the answers, which were always, ''No.''

During high school, she was a member of the first class of the Southern New Jersey Academy of the Performing Arts, a division of the Gloucester County Institute of Technology in Sewell. Eileen Shute, a spokeswoman for the school, said Ms. Fox was an A student and a ''quality young lady.''

According to the school's yearbook, she belonged to the fine arts club and the thespian society and had leading parts in a number of major productions, including Rosalind in Shakespeare's early romantic comedy ''As You Like It.'' Classmates were amused when she and her date once showed up at a dance dressed as Sonny and Cher.

At the back of her 2001 yearbook, she is pictured in the front row of her graduating class. The headline over the photo reads: ''The perfect end to a beautiful beginning''

Her talent gained her admission with a full scholarship to Juilliard in the fall of 2001, where she seemed to have become well-liked and admired by students and teachers.

Several classmates said she had a knack for knowing when other people needed a jolt of confidence. When one student assumed that no one had remembered his birthday, Ms. Fox put up on a drama department message board a brown paper bag on which she had scribbled, ''We haven't forgotten, Happy Birthday.'' Another time, she cheered up a student having trouble mastering his character in a play by leaving a note on a blackboard that said: ''Don't beat yourself up. You're immensely talented.''

It was her abilities on the stage as much as her robust personality that attracted attention. A number of students praised her leading performance in last year's production of Brecht's ''Caucasian Chalk Circle.'' ''She was 19 years old and was not a parent, but she played the mother so convincingly,'' said one recent graduate. ''It made you wonder where someone could get that sort of poise and wisdom.''

When she played a bird in ''The Birds,'' many who saw the performance said they thought it was enlightened casting. ''She was so light-spirited and in touch with her animal instincts,'' said Jess Weixler, another recent graduate.

Her family felt certain of her future. ''I have no doubt that we would have seen her name in lights one day on Broadway,'' said an uncle, Isaac Porter.

Oscar Isaac, a fellow third-year drama student, said Ms. Fox was known for her constellation of hugs. The one reserved exclusively for Mr. Isaac would require each of them to tickle each other's backs while embracing.

Ms. Fox shared an apartment in the Inwood section not far from where her body was found. It was in a five-story walkup building in a neighborhood whose relatively low rents have drawn an influx of younger people embarked on careers in the arts.

Her roommate reported her missing last Thursday. The last time her roommate saw her was at 5 p.m. the previous day. Wearing workout clothes and carrying a compact disc player, Ms. Fox was apparently on her way to her gym or to jog.

The police sent officers, helicopters and dogs to root through the thickly forested parks of Inwood. News of her disappearance galvanized her friends and family to do what they could. They tacked up hundreds of posters bearing her photograph. To further assist, Mr. Porter, an electrician from Millville, N.J., assembled a volunteer search party, composed largely of people from South Jersey, to fan out through Inwood Hill Park. The police had been there. But the family sensed that if anything had happened to Sarah Fox, it had happened there.

Early Tuesday afternoon, members of the search party sifted through a tangled area near a jogging path and found what they had hoped they wouldn't find. They found the end of Sarah Fox's story.

###

[nomunamuinmybrain]

Bitter 6

Finally! It took me so long to get it together and finish this chapter. A lot has happened in my life since I last posted but most importantly I graduated from university. Now that I have all the time in the world I want to give all my attention to writing. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I hope you are all safe and healthy given the situation with the pandemic.

*******************************************************************************************

Summary: Sometimes our thoughts get the best of us. Sometimes depression gets the best of all of us. Too oblivious to realize that we are surrounded with love. This is a story about learning to receive love, learning that you deserve love. A fun group of friends and their lives as they gradually change and grow. Sometimes bitter other times sweet much like chocolate such is life.

FLUFF WITH A SPRINKLE (or so) of smut/Slow pace

words: 1.7k

*******************************************************************************************

Chapter 6

A knot forming in my belly, the sensation stretching to my heated mound forcing my thighs to rub in frustration. My hand slithers from my aching breasts to my slit, I can’t believe how wet I got just thinking about him. Next thing I know, the other side of the bed sinks under his weight as he makes his way over me. I am not sure how he got here but I don’t care. I can feel his scent, heavy and sweet, making me dizzy. His hands take over from mine, teasing and touching me. I want him to taste me everywhere. Devour every inch of my being with his sinful mouth, marking me as his. It’s as if he is in my head, knowing my every thought, every desire. My hands pinned above me held by his hand.

No longer thinking reasons to resist this, I completely surrender to his touch. My back arches wanting even more, he is everywhere, I breathe him in and in my utterly intoxicated state that’s when I hear it, beeping loud in my ears, my alarm clock. I knew this seemed too good to be a fragment of reality. Grunting noises escape me while I roll around trying to mute the source. The boys must have gotten up earlier or maybe they left the room right after I fell asleep, making sure I get some rest since they know how stressed I was about this whole coffee meet cute and that’s when I felt it. A strange flutter in my lower belly, a tingling but it was nothing of anxiety, it was pure excitement. I jump off the bed to get ready and after a much appreciated pep talk from the guys I was already out the door and on my way to the coffee shop. Namjoon was sweet enough to text me good morning and ask for my order beforehand. We lock eyes as I am crossing the street and I am positive his smile is outshining the sun, thankfully I did not faint in the middle of the street. Deep breath.

“Here you go. Iced latte, medium, double shot espresso with soy milk and one pump of caramel.”

“Sorry for making you memorize the whole thing. I’m a bit particular with what I like. Especially coffee.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that. Besides, I’m no better. Iced Americano, blonde roast, extra ice, extra shot with foam.”

“Are we sure the barista didn’t spit in these cause I think I would if I had to make this order.” My silly remark made him laugh and the flutter in my belly grew stronger.

We started walking, heading towards the park. Conversation with him was smooth, effortless, he seemed to be as invested as I was which was refreshing cause for once I felt like I wasn’t blabbering someone to boredom and every time I took my turn to say anything he would look at me. He gingerly brushed his fingers against mine, weaving them with mine, brushing his thumb softly. I guess for the first time I felt interesting to someone other than Hoseok and Tae. There was nothing we didn’t touch on, from family stuff to career and childhood and lost dreams, there wasn’t a topic off the table. When we got to the unavoidable point of discussing relationships and experiences of that kind I tensed up a bit and unfortunately he picked up on that.

“It’s okay if this is too much for you, we don’t have to…”

“No, it’s fine. It’s better to be upfront with things like this.”

“I agree. Took me a while to come to terms with confronting people and situations.”

“Well, I’m in the same boat you know. I don’t have much experience with dating and I’ve never even been in a relationship. My insecurities plus my anxiety and depression haven’t, how should I put this, they didn’t leave any space for that stuff. Working on my relationship with myself and my mental health seemed more important. Also I never wanted to burden anyone with my issues, it wouldn’t be fair. Society has us believing that through another person we can finally feel whole but, well, it’s nothing but a sugar coated pill. Building a strong and healthy relationship with yourself is a blessing on the long run. To the eyes of others it might seem like I’m behind on that stuff but it doesn’t faze me as much anymore.”

“For the record you are not behind on anything, that’s bullshit. You made your wellbeing a priority and that is admirable to say the least. My last relationship has left me with so much trauma it left me frozen, unable to put myself out there to meet someone else. I wouldn’t even have approached you if it wasn’t for my friends pushing me, I feared that I was damaged goods, sort to say.”

I halt my step, turned to look at him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“You’re not. I hope you know that you’re not.”

“I know. Now, I know.” His hand cupped my check and I could feel the redness spread as I leaned into his caress. “I hope you know that too.” he continued.

He leaned in, his breath fanning warmth against me, he looked in my eyes, my lips and then back into my eyes, longingly. His plump lips parted letting out a sigh. “I- I really want to kiss you.”

I drew in a sharp breath and answered in a small voice. “Me too.”

His kiss was deep, intoxicating and somewhat controlled cause let’s face it we we’re in the middle of a park. A satisfying grunt escaped me and he did something that I can only describe as a low growl, it was sexy and I could feel the tingling intensify. With both hands on my face, his thumbs tracing patterns on my cheeks, he withdrew his plush lips to lovingly nudge my nose with his.

“I’m so glad we can be together in this moment. Wait, no, that sounds weird. What I meant, what I’m trying to say…”

I take the lead to put him out of his misery. He looked adorable fumbling for the right words.

“Namjoon relax. I know what you mean. I feel the same way.”

The rest of the walk we joked around and I honestly haven’t let go with another person so soon, he has a way, a warmth that just makes me feel comfortable and most definitely desired and appreciated. Before we parted we set another date for Sunday at the movies and for the first time in forever I felt excited for something. Once we got to my building we kissed one more time and even though I told him to go he waited to see me go up which I wouldn’t have done given the situation I had to witness. The door was open and the apartment was full of people. Squeezing my way in I browse for Hobi and once I spot him in the kitchen I make my way to him and grab him from the arm.

“What’s all this?!”

“We are pregaming before we get to Jungkookie’s party. It’s a last minute situation and I offered to help. You do remember we have Jungkook’s thing today, right?”

“It’s 15:46! And yes, I do remember. Isn’t it a little early for pregaming anyway?”

“Um, not when you have a bunch of art hippies. It’s called a brunch pregame or something like that, who cares. Pancake?” he stuffed it in my mouth before I had a chance to answer. Tae jumped and hugged me from behind, most definitely tipsy, playing with my curls.

“How was coffee with dream man Kim Namjoon?” he asked

“She’ll tell us later when we are not in a sea of strangers.”

“In a word, perfect. I’ll head to my room and get ready.”

In the sanctuary of my room I drop my phone on the desk and head to the shower. A much needed scorching hot shower later and with the date replaying in my head, I sit on my desk to do my makeup. It’s already 19:40 by the time I’m finished and the noise has died down assumingly because everyone has left. I wasn’t all that excited about being among people tonight but I would never skip any of Jungkook and Andy’s parties. I think it’s a new sold out show that we’re celebrating but who cares really it’s just going to end up crazy. Jungkook notoriety for making each meetup an unforgettable event is unbeatable. After last time’s paint war debacle I opted for jeans to be as comfortable as possible.

Half an hour later we’re already parked outside of Jungkook’s house and then Hobi locks us in. Tae was the first one to give him the stank eye and question the sanity of his action.

“What the hell?”

“Tae, I am not gonna make the party if y/n over here doesn’t give us the details of this mornings event. I might actually eat my own hand.”

“Okay, okay, but I’ll fast forward a bit because I don’t want to drag this on. I had a wonderful time with him, he is so sweet and considerate, we talked about everything and anything. Also, we kissed and I cannot wait to go on another date.”

Hobi and Tae couldn’t hide their happiness, so prominent in their expression. They both jumped me to give me the tightest hug possible.

“Baby girl we’re so happy for you.”

“Let’s break this up now and get going Jungkook is waving from the door.”

We get to the door, Jungkook waiting for us, arms open, cigar hanging from his mouth.

“You’re into smoking now?” Tae asked

Much to our surprise he bit down to reveal the molten caramel center. Of course its made of chocolate, he’s a candy nut. We’re all ushered inside, everyone’s scattered here and there in the large common area having conversation over the latest pieces acquired in his personal collection. Among new faces and a few familiar ones I spot a face my memory could never erase, he looks up at the same time, eyes locking with mine and shoots me a wink.

My old crush.

The ever so charming, Kim Seokjin.

[greensparty]

2021 IFFBoston Part 1

Thurs. night was the kick off of virtual 2021 Independent Film Festival Boston. I’ll be covering the festival (which I’m an alumni of and a big fan of), as it continues to Sun. May 16, periodically over the next week.

Thurs. May 6:

Sly Stone in Summer of Soul

Opening Night Film was the documentary Summer of Soul directed by Questlove. In the Summer of 1969 in NYC was the Harlem Cultural Festival which took place over the course of several Sundays that Summer in Mount Morris Park. The musicians who performed included Sly and the Family Stone, Stevie Wonder, Nina Simone, B.B. King, The Staples Sisters and many more. The festival drew over 300,000 attendees. The concert was documented but there was no interest in the film as Woodstock (which took place that same Summer) overshadowed it. The footage sat in a basement for over 50 years until Questlove expressed interest. This is one of the most impressive documentary directorial debuts in years. It is astounding that in 50 years there was no interest in releasing this spectacular footage (it looks great and sound even greater). Questlove doesn’t just present the footage, he tracked down festival attendees, performers and fans for modern day interviews. He also puts the concert into a historical context with reactions to Apollo 11 moon landing, NYC politics, Vietnam War, and the fashion of the era. And much like Woodstock, the audience is as much a part of the doc as the musicians performing. Now in 2021, this doc has more to say than ever about how music, art and culture can be a force that can bring people together for something positive! The doc is going to be released in theaters and Hulu in July.

Fri. May 7:

A Reckoning in Boston

The documentary A Reckoning in Boston is directed by James Rutenbeck, a director I’ve actually known for a few years now. He is no stranger to IFFBoston: he directed the short doc Class of ‘27 and was the editor on Intelligent Lives, which were both really good! In Reckoning, James narrates the film and injects a lot of himself into this doc. It begins with a tuition-free humanities class and through that he focuses on two particular students Kafi and Carl. Its not just about their stories, but looking at James’ own awakening to the racism and gentrification in Boston and looking at so many who have been displaced, evicted or homeless. It is very powerful and moving to say the least. 

Next: Sat. is a big day for the fest! Stay tuned...

For info on IFFBoston: https://iffboston.org/

[stuck-in-hawkins]

August 18th 1989

Stranger Things Fanfic

Pairing: Will Byers/ Mike Wheeler

Rating: Teen & Up

Read on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24656785/chapters/59757316#workskin

August 18th 1989

The ceiling fan swirled the summer air around. The nights were getting cooler and although it made sleeping more comfortable, it meant summer was ending, as was everything else.

Mike lay awake, feeling the contrast between the cool wind from the fan and the warm body beside him. He wondered how much time they had left. The clock was obscured by one of their shirts on the bedside table. How many more minutes could he hold onto Will? He gently pressed his forehead against Will’s back. How was he going to do this? How were they going to go back to being alone?

Will had saved him from an all consuming darkness. He had managed to pull him out of a downward spiral. When El ran away to chase down old demons… when Mike hadn’t been able to save her, he had fallen into drinking to cope and he had been drowning himself. During that time, Will reached his hand out and held him. In so many ways, he had lifted him out of that unforgiving place in his mind. In Will’s arms, the loneliness and self-loathing thoughts were kept at bay. He was a light that Mike basked in.

But now… that light was leaving, like a ship in the night. This would probably be the last time he could hold him like this. The last morning to wake up with him by his side. Mike drew him in closer.

Will was leaving for college. His world was going to open up beyond Hawkins. He would meet more people like him. People that were out of the closet, proud, and sure of themselves. Not confused like Mike was. Will would meet someone who didn’t need to keep him secret. Someone who would show him off, like the gem he was. So, he and Will would be going their separate ways. And, as much as it hurt, they would end things here. Will could move on and be with someone who deserved him. Mike didn’t want Will pining for someone hundreds of miles away. Will had already been hurt once by a long distance relationship, his first boyfriend. He watched Will waiting on the phone calls and then feel completely crushed when they ultimately had broken up. Mike didn’t want to be on either end of that call.

“You could come with me…”

“No, Will. It is going to end. One way or another. It’s better for us to end it now, when things are good, when we have a choice, and still be friends. If we don’t do it now… it will just end with one of us really hurting the other.”

And as awful as Mike felt saying those things, they were true. He knew it. They depended on each other. Too much. Will was terrified at the idea of living on his own. For him, Mike moving out there with him would save him from that fear, that isolation. Mike didn’t want to admit it, but he was just as afraid. He had spent most of his life building his identity around the people in his life. He had been their leader, the Dungeon Master, the Paladin. Now, he would be Mike Wheeler, recovering alcoholic and the only one of his party left in Hawkins.

Will had tried so many times to convince Mike to come with him. He had even tried to stay behind, to find a school in Indianapolis instead, someplace closer. But Mike hadn’t let him. He refused to let anything get in the way of Will achieving his dreams, even himself. After everything Will had gone through to get into an arts college in California, Mike wanted more than anything for Will to succeed.

Yet, here they were, in the still, dark hours of the morning. They could only have minutes before Will’s alarm rang. Maybe a few hours before Will’s flight. Then, the separation Mike had fought so hard for would be complete. And he would be alone.

He nuzzled against Will’s back and felt the tears roll down his cheek. He tried to keep his breath steady. He didn’t want red eyes that would give him away. Will would see them and find a way to convince Mike to join him on that plane.

Mike needed to let him go. Will needed to grow past all the pain Hawkins had brought on him. He needed to meet new people, discover who he was, be proud of who he was among people like him. Mike had seen glimmers of it when he’d driven Will out to the Pride Festival in Westlake Park that summer. He had seen Will open up in another way entirely. He’d never realized how much shame he carried from being gay. How much it had weighed on him. But there, among other people like him, the weight lifted, and Will seemed lighter and more open. Mike wanted that for Will and he knew he would never have it in Hawkins.

All the things that they shared: the kisses, the caresses, the heated moments… They were all supposed to be a placeholder. They were all parts of getting Will through the hell of this last year, through the breakup with his first and only boyfriend, June. They had been a part of getting Mike through El running away to join her sister to find Dr. Brenner. Will’s presence had helped Mike avoid drinking himself into stupors. He had tempered him, comforted him. And now, Mike realized, it wasn’t a placeholder. It never had been. It was love. It was unconditional. And he was going to lose it.

He sniffed his tears back. Will stirred in his arms, “Mike?”

No. Please, he thought, go back to sleep.

“I’m fine, Will. Just having trouble sleeping.”

Will turned to him and brushed his fingers against Mike’s cheek, feeling the tears. “Mike…”

“It’s just from yawning, Will. I’m fine.”

It was an unconvincing lie, but Will didn’t push it. He brought his lips to Mike’s and pressed a kiss on them. Mike pulled him in and kissed deeply. Their breath was sour with sleep but Mike didn’t care. He wanted to make this morning last. He would be selfish here. He would hold him close just this last time, then he would let him go.

____________________________

Mike and Will found little ways to close the space between them for most of the morning. Their hands intertwined beneath the breakfast table. Will’s head leaning on Mike’s shoulder as they brushed their teeth. Their fingers searching for each other in intermittent moments throughout getting ready. The touches were precious and numbered.

Mike, Joyce, and Will loaded everything in Mike’s car. He had promised to take them to the airport. But Joyce asked for the keys, and Mike saw something in her eyes. She would have the weekend with Will in California to help him get settled. She knew what it meant to him, having the car ride. He gave them to her. They spent the trip in the back seat. Will nestled in the crook of Mike’s neck. Mike’s arm around him and his head pressed against Will’s hair. Their hands laced and thumbs grazing over each other. Mike wished the morning would slow down. He wished he could just make the summer last longer. He wanted to stop time so that he could hold Will like this forever.

But, when they got to the airport, Will’s fear took over and their hands separated. Mike saw Will put on his mask around the strangers. Contact between them would signal them as gay. It would make them the target for remarks and stares that neither of them had the strength to fight today.

They went through the motions of getting Will and Joyce’s passes, the bags weighed and checked, and made their way to the gate.

A voice called on the PA, announcing that they would be boarding in 30 minutes. This was it.

Will stood up, “I should probably go to the bathroom before we board. I’ll be right back.” His eyes flicked over towards Mike and he understood.

“I’ll come with you. I have to go, too.”

They walked into the bathroom and waited out the other person in the bathroom. Once the older man left, Will and Mike went into one of the stalls. No sooner had the door closed, Will had thrown himself into Mike’s chest, hands clutching his shirt tightly.

“I can’t do this, Mike. I can’t.”

Mike held Will, “Why do you always short change yourself? You are so strong, one of the strongest people I know. You’ll do more than make it there: you’ll flourish.”

Will’s hands wrapped around Mike, “I don’t care about that. I just want to be with you. Please…” He lifted up his head, “Come with me. Come to California with me.”

“Will…”

“Just for the weekend. Please, Mike.”

“Will…”

Will pleaded, “I saved up for an extra boarding pass.”

Mike held Will’s face in his hand to calm him. Brushed his thumb against his cheek. Mike had fallen in love. He didn’t know when it had happened but it was undeniable.

And it hurt him so much to say, “No, Will.” His voice cracked and he broke down. “It has to be here, Will. If I come with you…” I won’t want to leave… “I would have to leave you there. It’s better that it ends here. So that it’s like you’re going off on a grand adventure.”

Will leaned his head and shook it on Mike’s chest. The door opened and they held their breath, not moving. They waited like that until they were alone again.

Will relaxed against him. “It doesn’t feel like an adventure. It feels like I’m leaving you behind.”

“You aren’t. I’ll be okay.”

Will lifted his head. “What will you do here?”

Mike hadn’t gained back his ambition for college after El left. He had signed up for community college, but he still felt aimless.

“I’ll help get Hopper back on his feet.” It was the only goal that he strove for, getting Hopper sober again. Will had helped Mike and he wanted to pay it forward.

“Are you going to spend your life waiting for her?” Will practically spat the words. “You just going to play the martyr? You need to live for yourself, Mike.”

He winced and bit back the temptation to fight back. He didn’t want to argue, to waste these precious moments. “I’m working my way to that, Will. I promise I am.”

Will collapsed in his arms, sobbing into his chest. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t, Will.”

“You said that we have to end it.”

It had been a decision he’d made a while ago, that when Will left, they would stop what they’d once called an arrangement, but became something so much more. He’d rationalized it a hundred times, reasoned that it would be best for them both. But now it was here and he didn’t want it to end.

“Only some things. I can’t kiss you from a thousand miles away.”

Will looked up, “Can we still say it?”

Mike answered, “Yes.” He held the back of Will’s head, entangling his fingers in his hair, “I love you, now.” He pulled Will in and kissed him.

“I love you now,” Will kissed the corner of his mouth. “And now,” he kissed Mike’s jawline. “And now,” he kissed Mike’s nose. He had to stand on his toes to do that.

It made Mike smile, through his tears, that were flowing freely now.

He heard the echoes of the PA system and they both held each other tightly one last time.

_______________________________

Mike watched Will walk through the gate. He forced a smile as he waved. This was Will succeeding. This was Will getting closer to his dream. He needed to be happy about that. He could be selfish and cry later. Will smiled back, but immediately wiped his eyes. He handed the woman his boarding pass and looked over his shoulder one more time before disappearing through the gate.

[self-proclaimed-chaotic-good]

The Governess and The Doctor’s Hunt for the Copper Beeches (3/4) | Platonic!Molly Hooper and Reader

Prompt: Poison

Fandom: BBC Sherlock

Words: 2401

A/N: Third part of Hunt for the Copper Beeches. No Sherlock x Reader, but there will be in the next part, which might be the last. Got carried away with this one, but there are more moments of Molly and Reader being a detective duo. Some of the plot is inspired by The Murder Pit by Mick Finlay. Fans of Doyle and Sherlock Holmes would like The Arrowood Mysteries. I’ve only read one book so far, and it’s pretty good and a bit darker.

-

For the first time in a long time, Molly called out of work to help you find the boys. You had asked Mrs. Hudson again to look after Rosie while you and Molly went hunting for the rest of the clues.

You had decoded the last message that you found in Birmingham and did a little research on the activities that have been happening in that area to figure out why John and Sherlock were there in the first place. They were following the trade routes for the black market, some being mere storefronts or market stalls.

One clue after the other, you and Molly hunted them down, decoded them, and became one step closer to finding the boys while also learning how those locations were connected. With each location and trace found, Molly wrote them down in a notebook, the clue paperclipped onto the corresponding page. When you weren’t looking, Molly would take pictures of the pages and send it to Lestrade.

The next message took you and Molly to the countryside, miles away from London. She sat next to you nervously, looking out the window of the train before looking down at her phone typing away.

“You sure we’re going to the right place?” Molly asked.

“That’s what the message that Sherlock left for us said.”

“And you’re sure it’s from Sherlock?”

You frowned, a sinking feeling in your stomach.. “Of… of course. I mean,” you sputtered, “Who else would it be? The clues were made in a way that only I would be able to decipher them and only Sherlock would know that…” You scratched your head and sighed. “Are we in over our heads? I thought we were so close and-”

“I’m sorry, (Y/n), I didn’t mean to make you second guess yourself. I just worry, you know, that’s my thing,” Molly said, squeezing your hand reassuringly, “I’m still going with you. We need those boys back at Baker Street.”

From the station, you and Molly had to take a cab to the next town. The driver had given the two of you a strange look. “No one really goes there,” he had said, “Only the locals go in and out of the town.”

Did the black market trail that the boys were following led them all the way out there? It was a small town where everyone knew everyone there. Which would likely mean that they won’t take kindly to strangers. One bar where all the labor workers hang out, one church for everyone to live in denial of all the not so innocent things they’ve done, one hospital that runs on nepotism and old practices, and always that one family that runs everything.

The cab dropped you off near the church before driving back to the other town as soon as he got his payment. You and Molly stuck closer to each other as you made your way over. If everyone knew everyone, then Sherlock and John would have stood out like a sore thumb. You hoped that talking to someone in the church would at least be more pleasant than fishing for answers from drunkards at the bar.

The church was small and musty, the candles weren’t lit, but there was enough lighting from the chandelier and the sunlight filtering through the stained glass windows. You slowly walked forward, passing through the pews towards the front.

A side door opened, revealing a graying haired priest. His light blue eyes studied the two of you for a moment before walking straight over to the confession booth. You looked over at Molly, wondering if you should go in. She drew her lips into a thin line as she frowned, not liking the idea of splitting even if you were in the same room. You both agreed that she should wait directly outside of your booth as a lookout, ready to signal you with a knock if something happens.

“I think you should show him the letter,” she whispered as the two of you walked over. “Only if he’ll see reason.” You nodded.

You slipped into the confession booth and the partition on the reverend’s side slid open.

“Now, what brings you here, child?” he asked.

“I think you know, Father,” you said, “Or else you wouldn’t have gone straight in here.” He stayed silent. “What can you tell me about the Copper Beeches farm?”

He sighed. “The Copper Beeches? Only that it’s run by the McGregor family that’s been living here for generations. They’re the main farmers in this town.”

“And they’ve contributed a lot to the town, I’ve seen,” you said, recalling the signs that you remember passing. McGregor park, McGregor Tavern, McGregor Hall. “All that money from farming?”

“That’s what they claim.”

“You don’t believe them?”

He let out another sigh. “My family has been here for just as long and many here goes along with what they want. It’s their farm that’s keeping this town afloat, they said. If I say anything, what will become of those who live here? The workers? The ones that can’t afford to leave?” The reverend shook his head. “I can’t say any more.”

“Father, one last question,” you pressed, “Please.”

“Okay.”

“There is a letter that was sent to my residence from the Copper Beeches Farm. I want you to read it in hopes that it’ll help you in your decision.”

You left the envelope on the bench and walked out. Molly quickly went to your side and you both walked out, leaving the reverend to his thoughts. Molly was right, though, it was dangerous for just the two of you, especially in a town like this. Residents gave you either a hard stare or a harsh glare whenever you passed by. No one else will readily be friendly with the two of you.

“Wait!” the reverend called out after you. You both turned, seeing him holding up the letter. “The church has a shelter where the two of you can stay for the night. We provide everything. This does not mean I’ve made my decision, just that in the meantime, we would need your help on a matter, if you’re willing.”

“Depends on the matter,” you said.

“Are either of you a doctor?”

“I am,” Molly said, stepping forward.

-

There were a few patients at the shelter that weren’t able to afford going to the hospital, so the church were doing all they could to take care of them. While it had been a while since Molly had dealt live patients, she could still identify whatever was ailing them. Luckily, they weren’t too severe that any of them needed surgery, just a lot of monitoring and medicine.

“If this letter is true,” the reverend said that night, “Then my decision will not come easy.”

“Of course, Father, I wasn’t expecting it to,” you said, eyes leaving him to watch Molly checking up on another patient. “But I knew that you cared about this town, which was why I gave you that letter.”

“What is the meaning of this letter, though?”

“There’s a lot going on at the Copper Beeches Farm than anyone realizes or refuses to see. Our friends had gone to help, you see, and they haven’t come back in weeks.”

“I see,” he said softly, “Be warned, the McGregors do not take well of being challenged. I’ve seen people disappear just for being in their way. The police are on their side and sweep these incidents under the rug. Whatever had happened to your friends, I pray that they did not suffer from the same fate.”

“Thank you, Father.”

That night, you and Molly went over your shared notes to decide what to do. The letter had been sent to John and Sherlock during their first few days of investigating the art black market trail signed with the initials E.M. from the Copper Beeches Farm. It was a concerning report of the activities within the town and that the McGregor’s are at the center of it all, including evidence that the missing people around town were, in fact, murdered.

“And how are all of these related to the McGregors?” you muttered.

“Maybe,” Molly said, “They’re using their produce shipments to help smuggle the items.”

You sucked in a breath, wondering why you hadn’t connected the dots before. “Of course! The stores that they sell the produce to are near art galleries, museums, and the docks.”

“Some of the patients here admitted that there had been businessmen that would travel in and out of town as well,” Molly added.

“I’m guessing our next stop is the farm.”

Molly sighed, pulling away from the notes to stretch. “Just the two of us? We know how dangerous they are.”

“That’s why we need to wait for the reverend’s answer.”

With that, you decided to rest, locking the door before turning off the lights. As soon as the two of you fell asleep, there was a creak on the old wooden boards of the outside hallway, the passing of a flashlight leaking under the door briefly, then it was gone.

-

You were yanked from your sleep by a hand shaking you furiously. You gasped awake, seeing Molly in a panic as she left your side to open the windows. She grunted as she tried to lift it up to no avail. It was then your sleepy brain registered the rancid smoke flowing into your shared room through the cracks of the floor boards.

You sprung into action, trying the door that was locked tightly from the outside, jiggling the door knob furiously before pounding on it, yelling for help. The smoke was creeping into your nostrils, making you gag as you stumbled over to Molly. Even with the two of you, it wouldn’t budge. You ran over to your bag, rifling through it until you found your pocket knife. You flipped it open, jamming it into the framing, hoping to pry it from its stuck position. It budged just an inch or two when you heard pounding at the door.

“Dr. Hooper! (Y/l/n)!” The reverend shouted.

“Father, there’s some kind of gas in here,” you said, digging out scarves from yours and Molly’s bags.

You handed one to Molly and wrapped one around your nose and mouth. Molly did the same and continued to get the window pane open, grabbing the pocket knife from you and managed to get it open all the way.

“The windows have bars over them,” Molly said, “We need to find the source of the smoke while they get that door open. The window would bide us time now that there’s air circulating.”

“The floor,” you said, looking around for something to pry the wooden planks.

The door shook as the others tried to shove the door open. You began to jump up and down, looking for any weak spots or loose boards. The smell still seeped through the scarf, but you tried to not breathe in too deeply. Two of the floorboards near the door rattled as you jumped on them. Molly kneeled next to you and helped you lift the boards up, revealing a leaking gas canister.

“Stand back!” A woman shouted from the other side of the door.

You and Molly shuffled back and watched as one of the nuns broke the door open with an axe. The Reverend rushed through with a gas mask and heavy duty gloves, picking up the gas canister and sealing it into a sturdy container that was quickly rushed outside. The others had opened the windows in every room, a rush of fresh air blowing in.

“Deal with this on a regular, Father?” you asked.

“Unfortunately,” he sighed, “Is everyone alright?” You looked over at Molly who nodded. “Good… I think… I’ll be helping you. This has been going on for far too long.”

-

The plan was to meet up with E.M. first, as they were the one to send the letter. With that, they could help you and Molly find the boys at the farm and hopefully, if all goes to plan, either Lestrade or Mycroft would turn up. You added Mycroft as a possibility, as it had to do with international smudging as well as general worry for his little brother, no matter how much he denied it.

The reverend knew who E.M. was and arranged a meeting at the church. You and Molly waited at one of the back rooms as a figure entered the church. They made their way over to the confession booth, heels clacking and echoing through the building. When the door of the confession booth closed, you walked out first and sat on one of the front pews, followed by Molly.

“I’m taking a long nap when all of this is over,” Molly muttered.

“Same. I don’t know how the boys do it.”

“Well, they’re practically adrenaline junkies.”

“True.”

A woman in a dull blue dress stepped out of the confession booth, scanning the pews until her eyes landed on the two of you. She walked over and sat next to Molly.

“Mister Holmes and Doctor Watson are being held in the basement of the McGregor estate,” she said in a hushed tone. “The farm’s being run by three brothers, two of them have wives, but they’re not allowed downstairs. The wives take care of the barn in the morning and two of the brothers go out into town for business.”

“Are you aware of what might happen when they are arrested?” you asked.

She nodded, head held high, but her hands were wringing together. You couldn’t help but note that her hands looked strong and had signs of callousness on her fingertips. “And I have a plan. The sooner we get rid of the McGregor brothers, the better.”

“No farm help?” Molly asked.

“There is, but they keep their head low, minding their own business. Most of them would leave with the brothers into town anyways.”

“Thank you for helping us.”

She simply gave another nod before heading out of the church. The reverend stepped out and sat at her vacated seat.

“She’s one of the wives, isn’t she?” you asked, watching her leave.

“Yes, Elise McGregor. She takes care of the people in town, but her husband only allows her to go out for church and grocery shopping.”

“No wonder she’s helping,” Molly said.

“Yeah, let’s start moving, then.”

[sagehaleyofficial]

HERE’S WHAT YOU MISSED THIS WEEK (9.18-9.24.19):

NEW MUSIC:

·         The All-American Rejects released a new music video for their song “Gen Why? (DGAF).” The song comes off of AAR’s latest EP Send Her to Heaven, which dropped earlier this summer.

·         Punk band The Menzingers released a new video for their new song “Strangers Forever,” marking the end of summer. The song comes from the band’s next album Hello Exile, out on October 4th.

·         Can’t Swim announced a new EP featuring the likes of Trash Talk’s Spencer Pollard, Taking Back Sunday’s Adam Lazzara, Frank Carter, Stray from the Path’s Drew Dijorio and more. The EP will be titled Foreign Language and is set to debut next month.

·         Fall Out Boy lead vocalist, Patrick Stump, was featured on the new single “86 Missed Calls” by Japanese band MAN WITH A MISSION. The FOB vocalist previously helped write and produce the band’s 2017 track “Dead End in Tokyo.”

·         Canadian singer Lights recruited Blink-182 drummer, Travis Barker, to collaborate on a new track titled “Long Live.” The song is an ode to the singer’s debut album, which was released a decade ago.

·         Mayday Parade surprised fans with a 7” EP as a continuation of their latest album, Sunnyland, which dropped last year. The EP includes an acoustic version of “It’s Hard to Be Religious When Certain People Are Never Incinerated by Bolts of Lightning” and a B-side titled “Turn My Back.”

·         Australian singer Alex Lahey recorded a cover of My Chemical Romance’s “Welcome to the Black Parade” for the radio station Triple J’s recurring Like a Version segment. The cover later received praise from the band’s frontman, Gerard Way, himself.

·         Bayside announced a new album titled Interrobang, as well as a video for the album’s title track, last Friday. The full-length arrives after the band dropped the song “Prayers” following the release of an acoustic version of “Mona Lisa” back in January.

·         Jimmy Eat World revealed the title of their next album, Surviving, as well as its first single “All the Way (Stay)”. Additionally, they announced a handful of tour dates in the U.S. and UK.

TOUR ANNOUNCEMENTS:

·         Tonight Alive are scheduled to play their first show since 2018 at Australia’s Unify Gathering Festival on Saturday, January 11th, 2020. The band previously announced a string of U.S. tour dates for early 2019 before cancelling the tour and taking a hiatus from touring.

·         Thrice announced a string of 15th anniversary tour dates in celebration of their fourth studio album, Vheissu. They will be joined by fellow rock acts mewithoutYou, Drug Church and Holy Fawn.

·         Green Day, YUNGBLUD, Korn, System of a Down, the Offspring, Of Mice & Men, August Burns Red many others were announced to play next year’s Rock Am Ring and Rock Im Park festivals, both in Germany. The festival will take place on the first weekend of June.

·         The Hella Mega Tour received major flack over the price and perks of its VIP packages. Some fans are not happy with the high price of a VIP ticket that doesn’t include a meet and greet with the bands.

·         Blink-182 frontman Mark Hoppus addressed the band’s cancelled gigs in Columbus, Ohio, and El Paso, Texas, on Instagram. The band was forced to cancel their El Paso date after a nearby mass shooting the day prior, where Hoppus revealed they were locked down in their hotel.

·         Simple Plan and Bowling for Soup announced a joint UK tour scheduled for the start of 2020. The Together Again! You’re Welcome Tour will feature Not Ur Girlfrenz as an opening act, and will mark the first time the bands have played together in the UK again in 16 years.

·         In light of the Cars frontman Ric Ocasek’s passing earlier last week, the Killers covered “My Best Friend’s Girl” at a show in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Prior to this, the band’s singer Brandon Flowers posted a heartfelt tribute to the late musician on Twitter.

·         Blink-182 played an intimate Spotify Encores gig in New York last Thursday, where they performed their most-streamed songs. The show took place at punk venue Saint Vitus in Brooklyn.

·         Green Day took a stab at current U.S. president Donald Trump during their set at the iHeartRadio Music Festival. They changed the lyrics to their hit song “American Idiot,” swapping “I’m not a part of a redneck agenda” for “I’m not a part of a MAGA agenda.”

·         Waterparks announced the supporting acts for the U.S. leg of their Fandom Tour, as well as some extra UK and European tour dates. Openers for their American tour include rapper Yung Pinch and rock band Kitten.

·         Carousel Kings were revealed as the opening act for the upcoming co-headlining tour of McCafferty and guardin. Other bands joining them on the tour include thebreathingbackwards.

·         For the rapper’s 37th birthday, Blink-182 gifted Lil Wayne a joint of marijuana onstage during their New York show last Friday. “I’ll take this now,” Wayne said right before he sparked it up with the help of Travis Barker and an off-stage hand.

OTHER NEWS:

·         Angels and Airwaves and former Blink-182 frontman, Tom DeLonge, filed for divorce from his wife Jennifer after 18 years of marriage. After meeting in high school and raising two children, the couple is reportedly separating due to “irreconcilable differences.”

·         Following this, DeLonge posted three videos through his organization, To the Stars Academy of Arts and Sciences, that potentially show UFOs. In response, the U.S. Navy confirmed the videos as “unidentified” phenomena in time for Storm Area 51 last Friday.

·         In response to fan rumors, DeLonge also made a statement about his time with Blink-182 and squashed rumors that there is any bad blood between him and his former bandmates. To backtrack, Mark Hoppus recently spoke about Blink-182 before Matt Skiba replaced him following his departure in 2015.

·         Former MCR frontman, Gerard Way, announced that he was already working on the fourth volume of his hit comic, The Umbrella Academy. The third volume, which was recently released in stores, is titled The Umbrella Academy Volume 3: Hotel Oblivion.

·         Panic! at the Disco earned its third platinum single from their sixth studio album, Pray for the Wicked, for the song “Hey Look Ma, I Made It.” The track follows “Say Amen (Saturday Night)” going platinum in May and “High Hopes” going 3x platinum in June.

·         Good Dye Young, the hair dye brand of Paramore frontwoman, Hayley Williams, relaunched its long out-of-stock lightening kit. In addition to doubling its size, the company revamped the formula to be vegan and gluten-free.

·         Guitar manufacturer Fender announced a new nonprofit effort in collaboration with Panic! at the Disco’s Brendon Urie, Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz and more. The Fender Play Foundation moves forward with its mission to educate, equip and inspire young players.

___

Check in next Tuesday for more “Posi Talk with Sage Haley,” only at @sagehaleyofficial!

[folerdetdufoler]

for all of that hotel nonsense i was spouting last time, i’ll admit it’s mad convenient to be so close to the station. it’s nice having a stopping point on the way to something, no matter what. on sunday morning nadège and haidee could use my room as a storage space for their suitcases, since they had to check out of the flat but still had time to do other things. we met up at the hotel and hopped back on the bus to marienlyst. the trip takes you past sagene kirke, like i think we had to transfer there to another line, so we went to see if it was open for haidee to finally step inside, but they were closed.

we were cutting it a little close for comfort with haidee’s schedule though, so she turned back before we got to nrk. better safe than sorry, to not miss a flight back to your family. nadège and i continued on to the tour.

over the years i’ve been more and more curious about nrk as a company so at this point i was legitimately excited to just be in the office. the tour is in norwegian, and includes sights targeted for children and adults, so it’s pretty well-rounded as a family activity. we followed the group through the building, trailing behind, checking in with each other to confirm what we’d just heard and make sure our translations made sense, i’d say i understood about 40% of the words as they were spoken, and picked up the rest from what they were physically showing us: a few studios, some educational displays, the costume department, a room for their foley artists to work on the effects for radio dramas. it was a mix of the history of the company and a behind-the-scenes look at how they produce the shows that they do. they told us about the genesis of slow tv, showing an old camera pointed at an endlessly fascinating fish tank. i listened hard for the names of shows or actors that i recognized but i don’t think she mentioned skam in any significant way. when we went through the costume closet i looked for clothes and snapbacks that i might recognize, but then i was missing out on what the tour was actually showing me. i had to find that balance of looking for what i wanted to see and seeing what they wanted to show me. i wouldn’t get anything out of the tour if i didn’t just listen.

we did get to see the cross, though, hanging on the wall in a passageway to one of their broadcasting studios. we made weird noises when we noticed and broke away from the group to take pictures. i felt a little sad that it was just hanging there out of the way, above a recycling dumpster, but at least they still had it. and it was a good moment of perspective, realizing that while skam was this massive part of my life, and was kept on a pedestal, in reality it’s just a smaller piece among many productions that nrk is known for. skam isn’t everything to anyone and i shouldn’t expect that.

i was struggling with my numbers for most of the tour, and had to pee when it was over, so i was both bummed it was done so fast and relieved at the same time. i wish i was confident enough in my norwegian to ask a question at the end, but i didn’t have anything that wouldn’t also expose myself as a crazy skam stan or just a dumb tourist. so we left and filled the rest of our day with walking.

we headed back toward the center, getting waffles again for a late lunch. i did it properly this time, with jam and cheese and sour cream. i sort of had a list going to things i wanted to still see, but i think i had scratched them off. but we could do the little things left, like go to akrobaten bridge, which nadège had never seen, and she could show me other scene background places, like the bridge by the hotel, the small park where isak ran with even’s clothes and called sonja (which was right by the hotel and which i had walked past many times without realizing). we stood in those places and watched the scenes on her phone and relived both those viewing moments as well as the things she learned from her safari. basically nadège was giving me my own personal safari, which was very cool. we went to see kollektivet, and she showed me the street where they faked the filming for season four. we walked along the river again, and then down to the harbor, casually making our way toward a restaurant for dinner. the whole time we bounced between skam and more personal things, and i learned more about her family and france and just...who she is as a person, which is also something i’ve been wanting to do. skam is obviously a large part of her life, so it’s not like she’s a complete stranger outside of it, but i don’t know, i’ve just been meaning to give these people who i hang out with more context in my head. they’re people not just other fans. they’re not just replies on the internet, or sources of information. we’ll always have this huge thing in common, a touchstone to return to, but there is other shit too.

down at the harbor we had italian for dinner. we walked all the way down to the art installations at the end, and marveled at the teenagers swimming. i know it was summer but it was still butt-clenchingly cold in the water. we walked to stay warm as it got darker, going along the water’s edge, through akershus festning, and heading back to the train station. she was going to meet her family, arriving late for their portion of the vacation, and we’d used up our last day.

we were back to talking about skam at that point, about some fics that she loves and the art that was made for them. i want to call it “the viking fic” but i don’t know if that’s right. i know it’s in my bookmarks though, for that eventual day when i miss skam enough to want to read fics. but i was more interested in nadège’s ability to read all of these different stories and pay such kind attention to them. she’s such a good person, and a good reader, generous with her support and enthusiasm. i don’t know what made me so selfish and cynical about reading, about consuming media, but it feels like it’s the one hurdle i have to stretch over in order to get to nadège’s side of things, where you enjoy things for enjoyment and know how to express that enjoyment in order to create and inspire more of it in the world.

that’s what i first noticed about nadège and haidee, what drew me to them last year and brought us to oslo: i wanted to be closer to them to learn how they did it, how they found that goodness in themselves and in the things around them. i don’t know that i’m any closer to figuring out that puzzle for me, but i at least get to pretend when i’m with them. i can pretend i’m a good person too, when i experience the world next to them.

and i can understand what it’s like to have your fill of oslo and skam and then be ready to see your family and appreciate the rest of the world too. we’re never done with skam, but we’re okay for now. until next time. i hugged her goodbye and pretended i wasn’t crying and went up to the hotel. i had to pack. and for the first time this whole trip i would be in bed before midnight.

i think this is my last post about the trip. you know how the next day goes: breakfast, airport, plane, home. i tried using up all of my cash buying chocolate at the duty free. on the plane i sat next to an old lady who i helped translate some norwegian foods for. i was still struggling with my numbers so i had to pee more often than usual but luckily she did too, so we were bathroom buddies for the trip. and then i was home.

i watched the rest of nadège’s trip in her instagram stories. i saw more things i wanted to see next time, oslo things, not skam things. and now we’re back to dreaming of that next time. it’s always nice to have something to look forward to. not sure what it will be, but there has to be something, right?

[godhanjisung]

At First Sight - Chan Scenario

Summary: Children are great, for sure, but only if they’re your kind thing. They weren’t yours so you ended up getting help from the master child himself – Chan. You just didn’t know he would have this effect on you.

Genre: Fluff

Rating: 13+ [SFW]

Words: 2552

It is universally acknowledged that anyone who takes on a babysitting job should have at least some experience in the art of babysitting, or at least kids; luckily for you however, it seemed that your mother’s friend had not caught the memo. As a result you now found yourself all alone in a small apartment with no one else around but two small children, who by the end of tonight were probably going to leave just as scarred as you were if things turned out half as good as you had imagined. You mentally patted yourself on the back, that’s right think positive, optimism was the only way out of this.

A small tug on your fingers brought you out from your thoughts and you stared down at the two young boys standing beside you. The child whom had tugged on your fingers was staring up at you with his large doe eyes, his brother beside him holding onto a large dolphin toy – dolphin holder was Tom and the other Tim. You placed a smile on your face kneeling down to Tim’s height, tilting your head to the side before speaking.

“Yes?”

You watched as the boy opened his mouth wide before closing it suddenly, “hungry.”

‘Of course’ you thought - food. You sighed before placing your hands on your knees and lifting yourself from the floor, turning around quickly before power walking towards the kitchen. Their kitchen was large and spacious and newly renovated, the white and grey hues blinding you as you entered.  You had decided on cooking pasta coming to the conclusion that simple was the way to go. But before you began searching for the appropriate ingredients you made a bee-line to the pantry opening the door and pulling out a packet of cookies. After all something had to keep the children preoccupied whilst you cooked.

Thirty minutes later and you found yourself backed into a wall. Tim was on his back, red in the face with his limbs going up and down in violent chaotic strikes. Likely half the neighbourhood could hear him screaming as if you were beating him with a stick. All you had said was, "No." Apparently denying him a second cookie was as devastating to him as someone stealing your home and all your possessions would be to you. You watched as he suddenly stopped and stared at you before flipping over and banging his head into the floor. That did it. In seconds you had the cookie in his now sweaty hand. He flipped to his bottom and stuck it in his mouth, staring at you with sullen eyes under a forehead that was sure to bruise. What would his mother say? What would your mother say? You sank to the couch and ready to call it a night but then you remembered, where was child number two.

Quick as a flash you began sprinting throughout the house only to find him in the recreational room playing. You slowly dropped to the floor sighing in relief. Babysitting was much harder than you thought it would be. At that moment Tim entered, cookie in hand, now sporting a large grin as he shook the cookie in front of his brother’s face, teasing him. ‘Please no’ you thought a grimace already set on your face but Tom ignored him completely engrossed with his teddy bear.

“Do you know,” you began “why teddy bears never get hungry?”

Both the children turned to look at you, Tim enthusiastically shaking his head, whilst the other, Tom, peered at you.

You stifled a smile as you recited the line that always got you cackling, ‘because they are always stuffed!’

Lifting your head to the ceiling and laughing at your own joke, you suddenly felt like you were going insane, were kids supposed to be this difficult? Then you wondered if you were asking yourself a stupid question. They were children how could they not be?

Exhaling you got up from the floor and quickly jogged back to the kitchen. You quickly took out some bowls and placed the pasta you had cooked inside each one, ready to call the kids over to eat. It was at that moment you heard the doorbell ring and you silently thanked whoever it was from saving you from another tiring moment. If watching kids was this hard you didn’t want to even imagine the battle it would be to feed them.

Opening the door you are immediately find yourself face to face with a young man sporting a very large grin. He had dirty blonde hair however his brown roots were visible and already beginning to overtake the rest of his hair. His brown eyes were the opposite almost invisible as they were scrunched into slits as he smiled at you, full blown with all his teeth. Something about his smile made your stomach churn, he had the kind of smile that made you feel happy to be alive and just that little bit more human.

“Hi! I’m Chan!”

You nodded your head slightly, despite how good looking he was, you didn’t know who he was or why he was here.

“Ah! Right sorry, I just came here to help you out. It got pretty loud so I called up their mother and asked if I could help…she said yes.”

You immediately narrowed your eyes, your mouth opening slightly. Who did he think he was? Sure you had not done the best job thus far, but it was your first night! Suddenly you felt annoyed at him what if you lost this job because of that one phone call of his? Just as you were about to go off at him he stuck his hand into his pocket and brought out a note. You looked at the note your eyebrow raised.

“Take it, it’s from the Tim-tams mother.”

You slowly grabbed the note from him opening it before scanning through the message. Yes this was definitely Tim and Tom’s mother’s handwriting and signature. It was also a note that clearly said that Chan would be around to help you out with anything as he lived right next door.

Chan then held out his hand for you to take. You complied, but instead of shaking hands like everyone else, he brought your hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss upon it. You felt your face flush warm and the hairs on your neck stand. Something fluttered in your stomach. You didn't know what that feeling was. You thought it was a bizarre sensation, but it wasn't unpleasant. In that moment you knew that if you spoke, your words would fumble and you wouldn't be able to make your usual witty remarks. Right there and then, you were at a loss for everything; no words, no breath, no thoughts. The only thing that came out of your mouth at that moment was your name, and even then it came out shaky and quiet. For once in your life, your breath had taken away by a complete stranger - by the eyes of a complete stranger and most definitely his smile.

Chan, although much older than he looked, was like babysitting a third child. You watched as the children laughed and played with him, jumping up and down at his jokes and laughing at the endless amounts of faces that he pulled. They particularly enjoyed his duck impressions, although you did give him the benefit of the doubt for those, not even you could keep the small smile off your face.

He always squatted down onto the floor, folding him arms to his sides like wings, and started flapping them, his ducks noises anything but accurate. You watched him as he made the impression for the tenth time as you quickly finished off feeding Tim before sending off on his way to join Tom in watching and cackling at Chan. They were both giggling before they stopped, simultaneously jumping onto him and making him fall.

You smirked slightly picking up the bowls of pasta and heading to the kitchen. Despite being initially quite annoyed at his appearance you couldn’t deny how much easier it had become to look after the children once he had arrived.

Leaving the kitchen you entered the living room to find Chan, Tim and Tom playing with some model dinosaurs. You were busy looking at the kids and didn’t notice Chan’s stare, however when you finally met his eyes you watched as his lips lifted upward. You watched the way his one dimple crinkled, the way his perfectly aligned teeth emerged and you definitely noticed the warm glow of happiness that his smile. His smile was a ray of sunshine and you felt as though you were getting burned.

Since that day whenever you were babysitting Tim and Tom, Chan would always come over at random intervals to help you out, never at cooking though, you had quickly realised that wasn’t his forte. However playing and keeping them occupied? He was an angel at.

One day he would help you take them to the park. Those mild spring days were days where the kids were so happy to run outside without jackets. Running to the swings, their legs moving wildly in order to pump themselves higher and higher. Chan and you would push them from behind talking.

“You must really like kids.”

“Haha yes, you noticed?” Chan didn’t look at you when he replied but by then you could imagine the smile on his face.

“I did.”

Chan glanced at your for a second before looking away again, “Kids are so innocent being with them destresses me out. I find it strangely relaxing.”

You snorted at his response, “I wish I could say the same.”

“You’re not that bad, if kids like you enough to be near you there’s no way you can be that bad.”

You turned to him smiling, “Thanks?”

He chuckles, “Yeah don’t worry it was a compliment.”

The next day you were babysitting Chan insisted that you take the kids out again, he not being a large fan of the indoor lifestyle. You had been surprised when he pulled out chalk from his pocket as he bent down on the sidewalk and began drawing. Far away from computers or television he drew squares on the sidewalk and numbered them – you were all going to play hopscotch. Stones on the sidewalk were easy to come by as you all had begun to play excitement oozing off everyone in waves. The sun had already begun beating down on all four of you but none of you had noticed.

As days like this became more frequent you found yourself enjoying them more and more, not just because you had come to love Tim and Tom, although you couldn’t deny the connection that had formed between the three of you, but because of Chan. His character – bubbly and loud always allowed you to the find joy in actions you didn’t realise could make a human happy. The way he could turn something so boring into the most attention-grabbing thing – cleaning, cooking and even a simple two minute walk. You adored the conversations you had with him, as you always remembered each word he spoke locking them away into your heart and mind, never wanting to let them go.

Chan had become a drug, your drug.

It was a day similar to this when Chan smiled at you with ease again, that big wide grin on his face making him more beautiful than ever.

“Call me if you need anything, and I mean it. Day or Night, I’m never too busy for you.”

Your heart flutters at his words, ready to fly out of your chest and into his hands. However you already know it is too late for that for your heart is already in his hands. He could squeeze it and you would feel the pain immediately, he had complete control but for some reason that didn’t scare you. You didn’t feel like a puppet and Chan your puppet master, you dangling completely limp on some strings as he moved and played you to his will – no, it wasn’t like that at all.

Rather you were a bird you had willingly given up some of its freedom, its ability to fly and sore, to be with him. The smile on your face wavered a little as you continued to smile at him, you were in love, deeply in love and it was completely by choice.

Maybe it was his smile at first, the way his eyes smiled along with his mouth or maybe it was the way he had played with the children or the manner in which he had been so willing to help you? Whichever it had been you had been mesmerised, you had fallen in love.

“You listening?”

You blinked rapidly, laughing a little “Sorry just spaced out for a bit.”

Chan hums, “I see, I do that too sometimes it’s nice.”

You stifled a laugh as you nodded.

“Anyway I was asking you if you wanted me to walk you home today?”

You loud “Yes!” escaped you and as his smile got wider, your cheeks got redder.

It was raining outside and every person that surrounded the two of you was moving at maximum speed with their head hanging down. The sound of feet on wet paving stones is almost lost against the splashing of the traffic, only the click of high heels still clear. 

You don’t notice when it was that you arrive at your place. You had been too preoccupied conversing that you thought time had stopped for the two of you and deep down you wish it had. Chan is already turning to look at you to say goodbye and the only thought in your head is ‘no, no, no, please don’t let this end!’

That’s when warm lips pressed against yours. Your eyes widen and it takes approximately one point three seconds for you to realise Chan is kissing you and a further three point eight seconds for you to realise that you’re kissing him back. Your eyes have fluttered shut and in the darkness you can see light exploding. You forget that you’re in front of an apartment building with people around, you forget everything, your only focus Chan. The soft moan he makes, the way he tastes like cotton candy, the way his hand has moved to your waist and the way he pulls back.

Your eyes are still shut, you’re too afraid to open them. But all it takes is Chan’s laughter the image of his smile in your mind for you to open them.

For sure you still even know weren’t sure what it was that had made you fall in love with Chan. Was it his eyes? His ability to handle children? His smile? His sunshine personality? Who knows? All you knew for sure was that you had fallen in love with him.

Fallen in love at first sight.

[words-are-my-existence]

Tea and Coffee

Introduction Part III: Mellifluous

Note: Contains fluff, comedy and angst. There may be mature themes and course language but mainly softness.

~

Time ticked away, the sun slowly making its way to the horizon to sleep. Jai still had not returned, obviously distracted by something adorable Eliza had presumed.

Still it wasn’t terribly busy, only a few patrons had come and gone, the morning hours of the day usually being more of their peak time so a quiet evening was expected. During this time if it was quiet Eliza would sit down and catch up on her reading or art, sitting by the table booth in the corner that caught most of the afternoon sunlight plus had the bookshelves right by it. Jai had outfitted the cafe with them when they had first opened and already they all were packed to the brim with various books and mangas she had collected for the store, Eliza wagered soon they would have to add a few more shelves if they wanted to add more to their collection.

The barista took her normal seat and began reading her current novel, keeping an ear out for the door to make sure she wasn’t startled again as she was earlier in the day. While she did so she kept an eye on the time as well, knowing that soon as it hit four o’clock sweet music would begin to play outside the cafe. And exactly as the hour came around beautifully plucked guitar strings began to sound, the tune gentle and calming like a lullaby made even more so by the deep but light singing voice accompanying the song.

Eliza put her novel away and quickly went back to the counter, making up an iced cappuccino as the musician outside continued to play their soothing melodies. Once she completed the drink she went outside, the busker finishing up their current song and looking up at Eliza with a large goofy smile,

“Hey Liz! Is that what I think it is?” The fluffy haired man asked excitedly as he rested his acoustic guitar down,

“Yup, one fresh iced cap with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles for Mr Chanyeol,” Eliza announced as she handed the drink to him. Park Chanyeol was a regular of sorts, coming to busk outside the cafe fours days each week at exactly four in the afternoon. It was like clockwork each time, the neighbourhood blessed by his music for the hourly periods. Chanyeol was definitely charming, with both his tall muscular figure and soft chocolate eyes, he drew in many passerbyers each time he sang. Which also aided the cafe in bringing in more clientele to. As a thank you for such Eliza would make up Chanyeol’s favourite drink, which he gladly accepted though he would also add that bringing in customers was more of his payment to the ladies for letting him busk in the first place. He was a gentle giant, never failing to brighten Eliza’s and Jai’s day with his presence and music.

As he took a few sips of his coffee Chanyeol glanced around confusedly,

“Huh your partner in crime isn’t with you today?” He questioned noticing Jai’s absence,

“Yeah she’s currently on a stock up run, though mind you she left three hours ago. Something tells me either she’s seen a cute animal, person or both and is completely distracted with that,”

“Hopefully she’s advertising your business while she’s at it,” Chanyeol added with a slight chuckle, Eliza rolling her eyes with a smile,

“She probably is. One good thing that comes out of Jai being side tracked is the fact she brings back plenty of people wanting to chat her up more. It’s funny seeing suitors chase after her though, brutally finding out later on she has zero interest in relationships beyond one night stands or that she just wants to see their pets instead,” Eliza shook her head as she continued,”I almost feel sorry for some but she tends to have her reasons so I stay out of it,”

“She is a quirky one,” Chanyeol noted as he placed his drink down and picked his guitar back up, absentmindedly strumming it as he spoke,”I’m sure that there’s still plenty of customers who come by to talk to you to,”

“What makes you say that?” Eliza asked in reply, the musician quietly focusing his gaze on his instrument,

“Well um, you’re an interesting person to...as well as very kind, beau-“ He had started but cut himself off as several women rushed up to him, each giggling and blushing as they addressed Chanyeol,

“Oh my gosh! We are such massive fans of yours!” One started and politely bowed, her friend batting her eyelashes as she spoke,

“We admire you sooo much! Please can we get a picture! And an autograph to?!”

“I-I um please not to close, uh thank you-“ He nervously stuttered. Chanyeol was a soft spoken person and gentlemanly, so he wasn’t used to these sort of interactions especially with females. Jai was usually here to help sort overly excited fans out but it looked like Eliza would need to step in this time,

“Alright ladies please give him some space, he will get to both your requests if you wait just a moment and calm yourselves,” She sternly spoke up as she moved forward in front of Chanyeol creating a small barrier. One of the girls frowned upon seeing Eliza, her eyes growing green with envy. She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by her friend who subtly pinched her arm,

“We’re sorry, we got a bit over excited there. We’ll wait of course,” She apologised, elbowing the noticeably angry friend who mumbled a sorry.

“Thank you, I’ll grab some pens and papers for you both,” Eliza cheerfully said, rushing off to retrieve such items. They calmly waited as Chanyeol signed autographs for them and posed for selfie as well, the two walking away happy and satisfied though the jealous one did throw Eliza several glares which the barrister ignored. There was plenty of people like that these days and Eliza had learnt to take no heed of them, it was a waste of energy and time being envious especially over guys.

Chanyeol let out a heavy sigh of relief,

“Thank you so much, I’m really not comfortable when those sort approach me. They just want so much and expect to get it,” He breathed and looked at Eliza gratefully,

“It’s no big deal, people need to learn about personal space mind you,” She responded shaking her head,”I best head back inside and let you continue your set, just give me a shout if any trouble rises again,”

“Ah wait!” Chanyeol shouted and hastily jumped to his feet, almost knocking his guitar over,”Before when I talking, before those girls I...I um...”

He was trailing off and getting quieter with each word that Eliza couldn’t make out what he was saying at all,

“It’s alright I know I have a few customers who take interest in me as well, I’m not envious of Jai more so happy I’m not bothered constantly by random strangers,” She reassured him as Chanyeol paused. He stared down now at Eliza with a troubled look. He was a good several inches taller then her, flustering the shorter girl slightly,

“Have you ever considered...actually dating any of them?..”

“No, not really. I rather date someone I’ve actually talked to after some time or I myself am actually interested in,” She ruminated, growing curious to why Chanyeol was inquiring on the topic,

“Can I ask why you’re so concerned on this matter?”

She caught him off guard with this question, Chanyeol quickly looking away. Was he blushing?

“I...I...” He tried speaking but seemed to have the words caught in his throat.

Before Eliza could press more the two were suddenly tightly embraced by a third party, a giggling voice perking up,

“Look at you two cuties! Is this one of men Jai spoke about that was crushing on you Lizzy? Man it’s so great seeing you!” The person in question let go and moved back a few steps smiling, Eliza grinning herself in recognition,

“Levi you’re back! How was Japan?” She hugged the puffy black haired girl back, Chanyeol bowing to her in surprise at her appearance,

“It was great as always, Lucy already wants to go again. She can’t get enough of Kyoto and wants to go to Hiroshima next,” Levi explained and bowed to Chanyeol,

“Chanyeol right? Jai has told me heaps about you and the other guys, it’s nice to meet you!”

“Other guys?...” He managed to say as he grew pale, but the ladies didn’t seem to notice as Eliza started to lead Levi in inside,

“Come on you need to tell me everything! Where is Lucy by the way?”

“Oh she’s helping Jai bring back a bunch of coffee beans, I’m assuming she was on a stock run,” Levi guessed while Eliza nodded,

“Yeah. Good thing Lucy is with her, she can keep Jai on track to actually get back her,” She joked, waving to the frozen musician,

“I’ll catch you Friday Chanyeol, we’ll pick up on our convo then. Take care!” She finished as she and Levi went inside, Chanyeol slowly taking his seat again and running a hand through his hair,

“I need to tell her...” He whispered to himself and nodded his head thoughtfully. He resumed busking, filled with a new sense of determination on having decided on a course of action for the next day.

~

[twosidestarot]

On Art & Cards: An Interview with Jennifer Dranttel of the Nomad Tarot

The hard-to-find Nomad Tarot has long been a favourite here at Two Sides Tarot. I cherish my personal copy, and every time I have it in stock in the shop, it gets snapped up within weeks. It's been a little while since this cult favourite deck has been available, but if you've been longing for a copy, your prayers are about to be answered! 

Nomad creator, Jennifer Dranttel, has just announced that, to celebrate the fifth anniversary of this deck, a new edition is on the way, seeking funding now through Kickstarter. Can I get a HELL YES, please?! 

I had a chat with Jennifer about her tarot origin story, her art practice, and what's new with this edition of Nomad. Read on for all the juice!

Hi Jennifer! Welcome to Two Sides Tarot. Could you introduce us to yourself, and to your work, tarot and otherwise?

Hello! I’m Jennifer, I’m an artist, illustrator, educator, mother, and traveling nomad. I’m American, but am currently living and working in the UK. My whole life I’ve been drawn to creative fields- my undergrad degrees are in Architecture, Graphic Design & Printmaking, and after a decade-long career as a professionally exhibiting artist and curator, I decided to go back to school to get my MFA in Textiles (from Savannah College of Art & Design) because I wanted to be a teacher at the University level.

I always begin my creative process with tons of research, and am inspired by a pretty wide (and wild) range of material from scientific journals to botanical gardens to poetry. I am drawn to both high-tech and low-fi materials, processes, and ideas. The history, layered imagery, and ties into traditions of folk healing, witchcraft, and other religions made Tarot a natural draw for me.

Tell us about your tarot journey - how did the cards first find their way into your life?

I had friends who read the cards and for years they were just always around at parties, dinners, and lazy sunny afternoons in the park. I never really identified as a reader myself, but always really enjoyed using them as a lightly fun way, like a horoscope or a palm reading.

I had an art show booked in 2014 and randomly decided to start looking into the Tarot, and illustrating the Major Arcana as large silkscreen prints. After about six months of research and development of my own interpretations, I became obsessed with having the entire deck in my hands, and illustrated the remaining cards. I really only set out initially to create the deck I wanted to use- with imagery drawn from my life, from the specific things that are inspirational and evocative to me- and I have to admit I’m still amazed every time a stranger wants to use it as well. So I initially began the Nomad Tarot project looking at it from the point of view of an illustrator, but in the past five years they’ve really become a part of my everyday life, and now I frequently do readings for myself and friends, have lectured on Tarot, and have sold this deck to customers all over the world.

How did you come to be inspired to design your own deck? What was the process of creating the Nomad Tarot like?

After the initial research, I have to say that most cards I had an immediate reaction to how I wanted to interpret the material in my own way, and the artwork came quickly to me. Some (The Emperor! Ugh!) still haunt me because I don’t feel I’ve gotten them just right yet. I drew all the artwork by hand, screenprinted them at double size, then scanned in the artwork and added text, borders, and numbering digitally. I prefer to work in that way- combining the high-tech with hand drawing, because I appreciate the quality of the hand that can never be perfectly replicated by a computer. I wanted to cards to be very obviously hand-drawn, not to feel too slick.

How has creating your own deck influenced your tarot practice, or your spiritual practice in general? And what about your art practice - do you feel that working with tarot has informed your creative process at all?

I have to admit I’m still a bit of a novice when it comes to Tarot. I’m not a super experienced reader who has felt a connection to this tradition for years, I found my way here mainly through the art first and then have fallen in love with the spiritual aspect of Tarot. It was always a fun tool to self-reflection when I was younger, but since I created the Nomad Tarot I’ve definitely deepened my practice. I now try to really connect with the cards several times a week, both as a reader- as someone looking for that connection to Universal energy- and also as the creator of this deck- to keep checking in and making notes about how the cards are working and feeling, so I can make slight improvements to them to improve their use.

I think that working with the Tarot- reading and using it now for myself, as well as the result that illustrating the deck had on my career- has made me more confident and focused in all areas of my art. I think it’s made me feel more dialed-in to the world around me, tapped into a larger reservoir of creative inspiration, and more sure in my gifts as an artist.

Tarot geeks can't help themselves, so I just have to ask - what are your favourite tarot or oracle decks? What were the decks that helped to inspire or influence the creation of Nomad?

I love the spirit of the Wild Unknown Tarot, though I was pretty conscious as I was illustrating the Nomad Tarot to not look at a lot of other indie decks, because I wanted to keep my interpretations original and not be influenced by what was already out there. And I’m currently crushing on the aesthetics of the Wooden Tarot and the Ophidia Rosa Tarot.

The Nomad Tarot has been through a couple of editions now, and this relaunch looks like it'll be an exciting new chapter in this deck's story. How has your relationship with Nomad evolved since you first conceived of it? What can we expect from this new edition?

As I said, when I began this journey with the Nomad Tarot nearly five years ago, I just created the deck I wanted to use. I was new to Tarot, didn’t have a lot of experience reading, and I think that really influenced the type of deck I created. I wanted something that felt modern and fresh, that would appeal to people like me- who had dipped their toes into the Tarot pool but hadn’t really connected with a deck yet or felt slightly offput by some of the more typical and traditional Tarot imagery. So I used imagery drawn from my life, and drawn from my specific interpretations of the cards that were mostly very personal.

I’m interested in creating a new edition of the deck because after actually working with it for five years, I have a lot of new insights and small changes that will improve the Nomad Tarot for readers everywhere. There are some cards that made complete sense in my head, but after receiving tons of feedback from customers, they’re not responding to them in the way I’d intended- and I can see slight shifts that will improve their clarity and the ease of using this deck. I think the biggest improvement for this relaunch will be in the guidebook, however. I am working with a professional Tarot reader, Sara Galactica, to add new insights and make it both more specific by including way more information about using the Nomad Tarot, as well as including a lot of general ideas about how to use the Tarot as a tool for self-knowledge and realization. It’s going to be worlds better, with beautiful full-colour photographs, more ideas for spreads to use, and inspirational words from Sara. I can’t wait to get it into my hands!

How can we help get this new edition of Nomad out into the world? Where can readers find and support your work?

Well, if you don’t yet have the deck, buy one through the Kickstarter! There are also some options in there for items like limited-edition screenprints and the new edition of the Nomad Guide to the Tarot, for those who already have the deck but still want to help us get it out to a wider audience. And of course, word of mouth is the most important way to support an indie deck. The success of this deck so far has always depended on the tight-knit community of tarot fans, who have shared it, gifted it, and used it in their readings for years.

You can also follow @thenomadtarot on Instagram, and tag pictures of the deck if you’ve already purchased one with #nomadtarot. The more pictures we have out there the more people will fall in love with and want to support the project! If the funding goal is met, the deck will be available through Two Sides Tarot (Australia) [THAT'S ME!], Little Red Tarot (UK), and Altar PDX (USA).

*

You heard that right, Two Sides Tarot will have the new edition of Nomad in stock later in the year, but only if we all band together and get this Kickstarter campaign funded so Jennifer can send the deck to print!

Head over to the campaign to secure yourself a copy of the deck, pick up a print or book, or make a donation to help make the new edition of Nomad a reality!

[cthwildflower]

i’ve recently gained some new followers so here’s some stuff about me! :-)

🌿🌞🤍

name: hallie

age: nineteen

birth date: april 5

location: louisiana

star sign: aries

mbti: infj

current college major: english

i post about: 5sos, one direction, harry styles, niall horan, bradley will simpson, chris evans, ben hardy, tom holland, zendaya, yungblud, matthew gray gubler, drew starkey, rudy pankow, david dobrik, jeff wittek, dolan twins, literally any attractive person

likes: dogs, music, brownies, coffee, nature, driving, animal crossing, cottagecore, 90s-early 2000s grunge, travel, blankets, gardening, cozy things, art, tiktok, beaches, mountains, lake days, boats, kind-hearted people, freckles, 70s aesthetic, ice cream, kids, bagels, laughter, airports, music festivals and concerts

dislikes: ignorant people, headaches, injustice, hot drinks, bugs, anxiety, writer’s block, procrastination, public speaking, cinnamon, planes, stormy weather, camila cabello, math, science, my mom’s driving, bad internet, uncomfy beds, the sound of candy wrappers, sneezing, embarrassment, acne

fav. musicians: abba, harry styles, elton john, yungblud, 5sos, clairo, frank sinatra, my chemical romance, fall out boy, niall horan, hozier, mumford and sons, the lumineers, one direction, the 1975, kacey musgraves, coldplay, death cab for cutie, cavetown, the beatles, queen, fleetwood mac, all time low, taylor swift, shawn mendes, caamp, ocean alley, tame impala, mac demarco, the academic, hobo johnson

fav. shows: that 70s show, criminal minds, avatar: the last airbender, outer banks, grey’s anatomy, the office, parks and recreation, queer eye, love island, black mirror, stranger things, defending jacob

instagram: (main) instagram.com/halliewc , (fan account) instagram.com/1996hxmmo

twitter: (main) twitter.com/halliewren

[bernuviel]

2017 Summary of Art With 2017 coming to an end, it's time to look back at the art I created. Honestly this was a crazy year – including the best and worst moments of my life. And I have never drawn so few artworks in a year since I can remember. So it's kinda hard to say something about my improvement. I’d love to know, which one is your favourite artwork? And why? January – Bakura I drew a lot of YGO in fall and winter of 2016. The craze ended with this color & shading experiment. While I still like the artwork, it took me way too long to finish because I got kinda tired of it. I also joined the “Meet the Artist” memes trend. February – Commission My YGO art got me my first ever commission by a “stranger” (no friend or family member). Even though I don't like shipping, I still enjoyed drawing this artwork. The sunset setting was a nice color & shading experiment too. March – Nothing Honestly, I don't know what happened. I just didn't feel like drawing at all. April – BG Drawing Workshop “Room” I joined the great background drawing workshop by betsyillustration. I learned so much! Not only about perspective, but also storytelling. For this picture we had to draw the room of a character, showing their personality. It's kinda rough and the perspective on the back wall is wrong. But for being drawn in just a few days, it's okay. May – BG Drawing Workshop “Comic” A comic page drawn for the background workshop. This one is obviously focusing more on storytelling. Drawing a soccer game was a challenge. It's not finished either, but I think you can understand what's going on. June – Nothing After drawing a lot for the workshop in April and May I felt kinda burnt out. At the end of June I was at a music festival where I saw my two favourite bands Green Day and Linkin Park live – for the first time ever! I had been a fan of both for 13 years already. I was so happy, it really was the best weekend of my life. July – One More Light Chester Bennington, lead singer of Linkin Park, died by suicide in July – only a month after I saw them live. I had never lost someone close to me up until that point and it hit me pretty hard. (I didn't know him personally, but he and his music meant a lot to me.) I drew this simple little artwork based on one of their newest songs in honour of Chester the day after he passed away. It was hard to finish, since I couldn't stop crying. August – Nothing It was a horrible month and I struggled with my grief quite a lot. I wasn't able to draw or do anything useful at all. September – Talinda One of he biggest inspirations in this hard time was Chester's wife Talinda. Through her Twitter she reached out to grieving fans and even started a movement to raise awareness for mental health. Some fans created amazing videos for her birthday in September and I joined them with this little card. Chester would be so proud of her! October – Linkin Park Tribute I spent the whole month drawing a big tribute artwork for Linkin Park, the band who saved my life over and over again - of course while listening to their songs. Art has always been my way of dealing with things and it also helped me with my grief. It's the most important artwork I've ever created. It was finished just in time for LP's tribute concert for Chester which was beautiful and further helped healing my broken heart. Also my artwork became quite popular on Twitter and Facebook, where I got some lovely messages from other LP fans. November – Nothing I was doing a lot better after Linkin Park's wonderful, consoling tribute concert for their late lead singer. I started working on another artwork, but life got busy again and I couldn't finish it in November. December – Voices of a Generation Another person who really helped me cope with my grief was Linkin Park's second lead singer Mike Shinoda. He started a wonderfully positive movement on Twitter: #MakeChesterProud. Mike and Chester were very close friends for almost 20 years. I just had to dedicate an artwork to them. They were the voices that got me and many other people through some of our darkest times. Thank you, Linkin Park! Onwards to 2018 and even more improvement! :D