#but if I got alarmed about that all the time I'd be even more tired and also depressed

[afniel]

Every morning my brain spins a little wheel and picks what's going up be fucked up that day. Usually it's my pain perception or energy level, sometimes it's my mood, sometimes it's my sense of balance and I could do without that, but VERY OCCASIONALLY it will Mad Lib slap together, "TODAY'S BROKEN THING: your (noun:[ability]) (verb:[to sense that]) (object:[you are disabled])," and today is one of those days. I feel fucking good? I slept well? I jogged big sections of the way to lunch because I could? My legs didn't cramp up? I'm in a super good mood?

This happens so rarely that I actually register it as a problem and go through the day thinking, oh no have I finally developed bipolar, is this mania, and it's like, no, dipshit! It's functioning. Of course it feels good and you feel good about it. There's nothing wrong with having nothing wrong with me for a moment. You really don't understand how disability changes you until you're wondering if your temporary relief is a mental illness...

But enough of that, I'm having a good day and I hope everyone else is too, and if you aren't, I hope you'll have one very soon. 💜 ✌️

[saetoru]

Tee 🥹 so RB Gojo always shows up to YNs house unexpectedly or wants her to come over. What if one day out of the blue, like 2 am she shows up at his house in tears due to stress. And for once he can be the caretaker and dependable one. And then she falls asleep in his arms arms and he gets to be the big spoon for once. I could see her whispering “you’re it for me too” while thinking he’s asleep.- dabitee anon

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。BEFORE & AFTER — GOJO SATORU. (rich boy! au)

contents. college au, rich boy! gojo, stressed reader :(, comfort, cheesy banter lol i tried ok, slightly based off of this drabble

notes. dabitee anon. babie u are my biggest rb! gojo inspo u always think of the sweetest lil moments between them sobsss i adore you sm

sometimes, gojo forgets you're not always put together. sometimes, you struggle to get assignments finished, and sometimes you don't wake up for work on the first alarm, and sometimes studying is too much to handle no matter how determined you are for an A.

"thinking about me this late, sweetheart?" he grins as soon as he picks up your call, laying back on one arm as he stares at the ceiling. he doesn't expect to see you call at two am, but you do—and when he hears the short, wet sniffle through the phone, he doesn't waste a moment to sit up. "sweetheart? you good?"

"toru can you let me in?" you ask quietly. gojo feels every crack in your voice pierce into his chest—it's rare for you to need him like this. he thinks he's always needed you more than you've needed him, truthfully. you've always opened doors after he's stormed out on his father, you've always laced your fingers after arguments with suguru, and you've always rubbed his back when he's hunched over toilets after one too many drinks.

when was the last time you've let yourself need gojo? he doesn't have the time to even try and remember, his feet carrying him over to open his front door quietly. and it's you—you with teary eyes and puffy cheeks, you with tired dark circles and wobbly lips. it's you, but it's not the you he knows, the one he's used to.

the one good thing about gojo satoru is he always knows how to talk—he speaks enough for two, knows how to fill the silence when you can't bring yourself to speak. his arms tug you into his chest before you can open your mouth to explain.

"did you drive all the way here with those watery eyes?" he hums, "wanted to see me that bad? it's dangerous driving like that, baby."

"didn't wanna be alone," you mumble, sniffling into his chest. his hands are big—they're good for rubbing slow circles into your back, the warmth of his palm seeping in through your shirt and pressing against your skin.

"i'd have come if you texted me," he hums, "'m always up, anyway. you know i was beating suguru's ass in mortal combat? he owes me a burger."

"you can afford one yourself, idiot," you huff, making him chuckle. something about the low rumble of his chest against your cheek makes the tears flow a little faster—not because you feel worse, but because it's safe enough that you can.

sometimes, you forget gojo isn't that spoiled and whiny handful you love to call him. sometimes, you're reminded that he's used to being alone, that carrying emotions enough for two is his forte. your cheek presses harder against his chest, like you could bury yourself inside of him like that, like hiding away in his ribcage is where you're safest from the rest of the world. maybe it is—maybe all you need is him to make it safe.

"who's got my baby crying the night before an 8 am class?" he asks softly, “i’ll punch ‘em.”

“what if i say you, will you punch yourself?”

“for you, always,” he nods seriously.

he knows how to ask these things like that: like it's not heavy, like you can make a light-hearted joke or two so that you're not drowning in your own vulnerability. sometimes, you forget that gojo is no stranger to hiding his own vulnerability, that he knows how to hide it under a playful grin and a cheeky laugh.

"that group assignment's due soon and no one's done anything yet but me, and i had to pick up an extra shift to cover for someone, and that quiz coming up is apparently super hard, and my electricity bill was high this month and i don't know why, and....and—"

"okay," he hums, "the electricity might've been me," he says with a quiet chuckle, "i always forget to turn the lights off. I'll handle it, yeah?"

"but—"

"it's not paying for you," he cuts you off, "it's paying you back. there's a difference. now c'mon. i make good hot chocolate."

"it's out of a packet," you sniffle, lips curled into a pout as his thumb swipes away at your tears. he traces the swell of your cheek before pinching it lightly, making you huff.

"hey," he gasps, "it's special because i put extra chocolate in it! it's my secret ingredient."

"it's not a secret if it's the main ingredient, toru," you mumble, letting his fingers thread with yours as he tugs you along to follow him.

"do you just live to correct me?" he whines, "can't i have one thing?"

and when he hears that soft, breathy little giggle from you, he smiles to himself, the ache of his chest calming just a little. you think gojo could always do that if he tried—pull a small laugh or two out of you even if the world was crumbling around you, keep your lips curved up even as everything goes wrong.

he's enough to forget about that damn project, and that extra shift, and that absurd quiz, and that distressing bill. maybe it's in the way he makes the whipped cream look like a crooked heart in your mug, or the way he burns his tongue as he takes a sip too fast, or the way he swings your arm as he drags you to his room, or the way he wriggles his brows at you as he takes his shirt off before bed, or the way he presses that delicate, sweet, careful little kiss to your forehead as you lay on his chest.

because he has to be enough, he thinks as he holds you, he has to be good enough for you that he outweighs every bad thing you'll ever deal with. he wonders if you know you're it for him, if you know that no one else could fill the spot you've wormed your way into unknowingly. he realizes it that night you hold him, the same night you didn't scold him for ruining your sleep, the same night he finds his way to you when it feels like every road is blocked.

and when the roads are blocked you find your way to him too. so he lays quietly under your cheek, feeling your fingers trace those slow hearts into his skin as he hears you murmur, "i think you're it for me too, toru."

his brows furrow—and then he realizes you must have heard him that night, just like he's hearing you now. a small part of him wants to laugh at the odds, at the way you both can't bring yourselves to say it when you're sure you'll hear each other. the other part of him thinks maybe you were always supposed to find each other, that you were always meant to stay awake and hear hushed words that are supposed to be secrets.

but then you tilt your head up, meeting his eyes, like you know he's awake. oh, he realizes, you've always known, haven't you?

"oh yeah?" he asks, "what if someone cuter and funnier comes along?"

you giggle—not one trace of stress or fear or defeat on your features, not with him there. "i met suguru and still chose you," you tease, making his gasp in disbelief.

"that's so mean," he whines, "i made you hot chocolate with extra chocolate! you can't say my best friend is cuter. and for the record, i'm way funnier than him."

"i'm kidding," you grin, pinching his cheek. "i love you. thank you," you add quietly.

"love you too," he kisses your temple. sometimes, gojo forgets what it was like before you—and he doesn't really want to remember.

atp rich boy! gojo is just his own character to me sjfjsjfj i’ve just created a whole new dude in my head with the same irritating blue eyes

[goldsbitch]

BEEP

First night in a shared apartment with Lando. All is idyllic - until there is an unidentifiable alarm sound, which brings out insecurities buried safely inside under normal circumstances.

fluff, anxiety vibes, one shot

Y/N was a baths type of person. In fact, Lando suspected her being a part-time mermaid. Always in a body of water, if possible. For hours and hours. Many times he had come to her home only to find her sitting in a bathtub of then already cold water on her "home office" hours, with a laptop on her precisely curated set up. He would come to her, chat a little and playfully splash some water into her face, before having her drain the tub and joining her after another set of hot water was in it. Even after that, he could only last about 20 minutes before getting uncomfortable.

He was glad water bills were not life or death for him when they moved together to their first official shared apartment in Monaco. Making it their own was her priority, so a bathtub was an absolute must. Pool nearby as well.

As far as moving houses goes, this was a hectic one. Lando's schedule making it hard for him to participate, so she had to organize it all with the help of movers. Cleaning out two apartments into one. She was few years younger than him and this was the first time she had actually moved on her own, making it a classic test of adulthood. There were few pseudo panic attacks involved during the process. However, the feeling of accomplishment? Being able to prove to herself that she can do it alone was something nobody could ever take from her. Another level of adulthood conquered. But she didn't want Lando to know about this little insecurity of hers - with him having to grow up faster than most of his peers, she sometimes felt like she was lacking behind. Though Lando never made any comment about that, in fact this did not cross his mind at all, until their first proper evening together in their new apartment.

Lando was excited for that evening, but he was proper tired. Physically and mentally drained. Few weeks of constant travel and racing drama had him totally off.

She managed to get most of things ready for his arrival. They hit the bubbly bathtub immediately upon him coming home. Lando was smitten. Coming home, it felt really refreshing after months of "your place or mine?".

It was raw, both of them naked facing each other in the tub, legs entangled, their bodies touching at multiple places. Hot steam coming out of the water filled the room, curling Lando's hair more that usually and the scent of her latest favorite vanilla bath salt gave into the relaxing atmosphere. They casually caressed each other, engaging in a light simple conversation, carefree and intimate.

All of that went out of the window when there was an excruciatingly loud and sharp beep alarm noise suddenly out nowhere.

BEEP

Y/N eyes went wide. Lando knew that look all too well by then. Pure panic. He knew there were few moments he had to stop her spiraling.

"What was that? Did you hear it?" she asked, boring her eyes in his for answers he did not have.

He smiled and tried to pass on some relaxing energy onto her. "Yes, I did...Calm down, it's probably nothing."

"Probably?! How can you be sure?"

Lando reached for her hand. "I'm sure. All is good and fine, let's not get bothered by anything. I missed you so much," he said truthfully. She was what he wanted to focus on. Not some nonsense sounds.

She eased a bit, her fingers still feeling tense in his hands. "I miss you everytime."

"Oh, so it's a competition now?" he smirked, happy he got her distracted.

BEEP

The two stared at each other in silence for few moments.

"Honey, ignore it," he said trying to sound more demanding than a plea.

Y/N took a deep breath in. "I am ignoring it."

"I can see that, clearly," he said sarcastically. "Tell me about your week instead. Were the movers ok? Did they do a good job?"

"Well, we're sitting here and we have a bed to sleep in, so I'd say it was a success," he replied dryly.

"You're my little nervous peach, aren't you?" he said, leaning closer to her so that he could caress her face. Oh boy, was he drowning in love with this strange human sitting across him.

She let go of her pout. "Yes...But, you're the one to talk! You always get nervous before a car upgrade."

He was truly fascinated how she was unapologetically able to compare new McLaren upgrades with a random beep sound. He'd already made a mental check of the things that could have been making that sound and figured all the important alarms made a completely different sound. For a moment, he imagined his girlfriend sitting in a formula 1 car going over 200 km/h, freaking out in the style only she knew how. He'd never admit this to her, but he found her "freaking out" face irresistible.

He calculated his response. "It's perfectly fine to get nervous. But trust me, this in nothing."

BEEP

Her question was almost immediate. "What if it's the gas. What if we have a gas leak. A guy came here to do an inspection yesterday, what if he didn't close the vent or whatever?"

"Honey, the gas is not even on now..." he looked at her perplexed.

She was unstoppable at this point. "I don't know that! I don't understand these things! It's all gas heater there, air conditioning here, water boiler this and insurance that. Did you know we need to have a property insurance for the lease?"

"Yes, I knew that." He was not sure how to keep responding at that point. The last thing he wanted was to make her spiral more.

"Well, I didn't! Felt like an absolute idiot talking to the guy, I thought these things were part of leases."

Lando squeezed her hand. "It's fine. Once we get out of the tub, we'll go and search for the sound. Hey, maybe it has already stopped."

She was staring at him, waiting for her cue, expecting a beep sound any moment now. He returned her look, challenging her, making a battle of who was right. And the sound? Suddenly, not even a little ding.

"See?" he said, really hoping it was not going to come as he finished.

Tension was high in the bathroom, making it the opposite of relaxing. Yet still, there was no place other than these two would rather be. Well, Y/N would rather be at the source of the forsaken beeping, but, that was not happening now.

"Ok. Maybe you're right," she said, visibly tired as well.

"We'll get out of this bath in few mins, have dinner in the bed, watch some nonsense and go to sleep, ok? I need your cuddles, desperately," he said softly and leaned to kiss her.

BEEP

"Oh my god, what is that???" she screamed in utmost annoyance.

"Honestly, it sounds like it's coming from outside the house," he observed - and she was not having it anymore.

She gave him a sassy smile. "So, what. Is it the apocalypse now?"

"It's not the apocalypse."

Flustered wave hit her face, having her melt down completely. "Why would someone install an alarm somewhere and have it beeping for no apparent reason? People don't do that."

"I don't know, my love..."

"That's ok, but I should know! I took over the apartment from the realtor - I should have asked!"

"And what would the question be? What are the things that could beep?"

She threw her arms out, splashing water everywhere and not even noticing it. "I don't know! That's the thing! I just don't know. And I don't have a single idea where people find these out. How come everyone around always seems to know and I'm here just sitting, vibing and hoping we're not going to burn the house down."

"Y/N? What's this about?" he asked, concerned. Was she ok? Was there something he'd missed?

She was on a roll, words just flowing out of her mouth, the way only speaking to Lando made her do. "I just feel so out of place some times. I'm doing all these adult things, far away from family and from you as well. And I want to be able to do it, I want to be a good adult. But I just don't know."

He tried to hold her hand once again, but she was busy having her arms crossed around her chest. "You're still young, this is growing up. I also don't know yet, many times..."

"I don't want to be your burden, I want to be your support."

"You are my support, what are you on about?"

"I was suppose to be in charge of the whole moving thing. And here we are and I can't even tell you what's beeping."

BEEP

"My god! Can it just stop! Please!"

Lando was still thinking about what she said previously. The familiar feeling she described.

"You did a great job with the move, by the way. Honestly. It would not happen without you. I wish I could be here more," he spoke slowly, hoping she would subconsciously join in his tune.

She sighed. Might as well get everything out now. "I love you, you know that. But it gets lonely sometimes. And there is no end of your nomadic lifestyle in sight. And what if you get bored of me once you stop traveling? We've never spent a month without a break together. What if when you're older, you decide I'm actually pretty boring and you leave me for someone younger. And I'll be old, pass my best years and alone once again."

She stopped, surprised a little bit by the words that came out of her. Now that it was out, it was impossible to ignore.

Lando was hyper focused now. Every word a calculated decision. This was no longer a chill chat.

BEEP

"Y/N. I love you too. And I love you the way you are and I can't imagine loving anyone else. I'm also excited for the older version of you to come one day, to accompany my older self that I have yet to meet. I want to be with you. My job is making this harder, but I hope this will not be an obstacle for you."

The last thing she wanted was to make him feel guilty. She got mad at herself for tangling things up together so much that it stopped making sense to her. "Of course not. I love your passion and the fact you dream big. Sorry, this got a little out of hand."

"No, I'm glad you're finally phrasing your worries. Is there anything more?" Lando was keen on continuing this impromptu chat.

"What if we grow apart? People change all the time. What if we stop wanting each other? How long can love last?"

He smiled. "For me it's impossible to imagine it now. I can only speak for my present self. But what you described it the last thing I'd ever want to happen."

Y/N took a deep breath once again. "Do you want children? Because I don't know yet. Yet, unlike you, I don't have the luxury of decades to decide. My time is slowly running up. And here I am, not even sure if want them?"

"Honey, plenty if time for that. I'm sure I do not want children in the next two years anyway. It must be real fun in your head sometimes - in one sentence you're too young to know adult stuff and in other you're too old for having children?"

She finally laughed. "Yeah. It is confusing sometimes."

"I hope you don't get offended, but you look absolutely gorgeous when you're flustered. Don't be too hard on yourself, please."

"I'll remind you of that when you're on your typical self-hate trip after a bad race."

"Touché." Got him there.

"Shall we get out of the bath? Would you mind searching with me for the alarm?"

"With you I'll be happy to do absolutely anything."

He got out and reached a hand for her when she was getting up, almost as a metaphor for her current state. They helped each other dry out, put on new matching bathrobes that Lando brought as a gift and searched the whole apartment for anything that could or would beep. There were few more beeps coming their way before they suddenly stopped. The two figured it really was coming somewhere from outside. Once Y/N was finally convinced they checked everything, she agreed on getting to bed and cuddle. Lando offered going out to get her ear buds for sleeping, but by that time it had already stopped.

They never found the source of the beeping. But, that's ok. Sometimes things just make unexpected noise and it's fine.

[girlwithwolftatoo]

Hey! How would the moon boys react to fem!reader? Cupping their face in her hand out of the blue?

Weather is more than appropiate for fluff stuff <3

Moon Boys + Reader cupping their face

Marc Spector:

The most reluctant of three. He craves for signs of affection but won't react positively to it at first.

Your hands holding his face makes him feel... weird, a little vulnerable, a little childish. Consider most of his childhood and adolescence he didn't get much love.

"Drop it" he murmurs, but he's not serious. Won't take your hands off, won't turn away, he just struggles with his own feelings.

Little by little, he breaks. He sobs with an expression of embarrasment, as if waiting you'd find it ridiculous or stupid (which of course, isn't the case), and may kneel down as you still cup his face, all defeated and tired.

Listening words of reassurement and compassion is the best for him. Feeling you trust him and love him despite any mistake or flaw gives him the self-confidence he lost so long time ago, and the fact you don't judge him is even more important.

"I'm sorry, I... I know I'm not good foor you..." "You never say that again, Marc. It's a lie. You're good, for yourself and for me"

Steven Grant:

You probably caught him in the middle of a crisis or a panic attack, mumbling so fast his accent becomes thicker and you can barely undestand what he says, and once you put your hands on his jaw...

"What are...? Ohhh that feels better, yes..." he murmurs as soon as the warmth of your hands relax him almost immediately.

May close his eyes just to enjoy your spoils, even will accept to sit and, perhaps, a little massage on the shoulders (he's very ticklish so be careful).

Little by little, his tangled mind takes a straight trail of thoughts, and he vents everything in a more calmed tone. It's not just the flesh to flesh contact, it's the fact you're there, listening him, what helps him to recover quick.

Chances are he may reccomend to take a nap together, just to be sure he'll wake up in a better mood, or simply make some tea for you and him as a gesture of appreciation for what you did.

"Honestly don't know what would I do if you weren't here, love"

Jake Lockley:

For this case I can imagine two scenarios: one, Jake returning early in the morning, all tired and moody, or two, you having to approach Jake to calm him down since he's losing a little his temper and probably about to do something hideous.

If it's the first case, Jake simply walks in, dropping his jacket nd mumbling something about being sick of everything. Once your hands reach his face, he sighs almost in relief, as if he just entered a hot bathtub.

"I'd wish I could spend night here with you instead of outside more often, bonita" he complains and groans like an exhausted dog, allowing you to rub his face. A soft smile appears in his lips, and you know he's back to normal again, like a spell.

The other scenario sounds dangerous, but not because of Jake. As soon as he feels your presence right next to him, something in his mind sounds an alarm and he stops anything he's doing. If you'd got hurt during his watch, he would never forgive himself.

"Jake, Jake!" anyways you need to call him out to be sure he's paying attention. "It's okay, mi amor, it's over". Just a single hand will do, and he cups it into his own hand, gently squitting his eyes.

"Perdóname, princesa, I just... had a bad time" he murmurs, grabbing onto your hand as if he'd never let it go.

[griffonsgrove]

General Dating Headcanons | Dr. Flug

Dr. Flug X GN!Reader

fandom: Villainous/Villainos words: 1457 cw: none!! just cute tooth-rotting fluff!

a/n: aaa!! following the theme with villainous, I HAD to do our favorite scientist!! Also I'm open for requests!! I'd love to see what yall would send in!!

(Platonic): 

Dr. Flug was the one initially responsible for hiring a new employee for the organization after he had groveled at Black Hat’s feet, begging for an assistant to help lighten his workload.

Reluctantly, Black Hat agreed, but not without scaring the daylights out of the poor doctor first.

Flug thanked the high heavens.

And thus began the search for a new assistant, he sent out multiple ads and flyers, and in little to no time, there was a flood of applicants. Having to sift through each applicant only added even more stress to his ever-growing mountain of work. Most of them didn't really seem to stick out.

That was until he got to yours.

He wasn't quite sure what drew him to your application, maybe it was your astounding track record, accomplishments, and references, or maybe it was because he thought your appearance was pleasing to the eye, something about the gleam in your eyes told him that you were a reasonable, logical and pleasant person to be around.

Which is exactly how you ended up at the front gates of the manor, ready for an interview.

Of course, the first person you met was the doctor himself, he had to disable the alarm system to the manor before letting you in. It’s there that he gives a very brief, albeit awkward introduction.

He unfortunately doesn’t socialize much. 

Everything about his energy, to his stature just screamed nervous wreck. It's from there that he leads you to the Lord’s Office. Surprisingly the interview went well!! If getting demeaned and thrown insults was a norm. But! You got the job!

Now you’re in Flug’s hands, you follow alongside him as he leads you to his lab, listing off all the responsibilities he wanted you to be in charge of some of them being: Organizing files and client paperwork, taking calls from new clients and scheduling appointments, also taking customer reviews, and some minor tidying and organization.

And based on the state of his lab you had a LOT of work to do…

I know some people think Flug is an anxious mess 24/7 but that could not be further from the truth. He’s actually quite egotistical and snarky from time to time, and of course a know-it-all.

He's like the “erm actually ☝️ 🤓” guy in physical form.

IS NOT afraid to correct you over minor errors. He’s very particular about how his things are organized in his lab. He likes to call it his organized chaos. So, if anything gets misplaced, he will get snippy or irritable. 

SO..as long as you inform him of how you do things and WHERE you put them, then all is good!

Overtime as you work alongside him though, he genuinely does start to appreciate the work that you do, he's pleasantly surprised when he finds that all his files and blue prints have been organized alphabetically and by color, or that his tools had been rearranged neatly on his workbench by size and shape, and overall his lab was so much cleaner and tidy than he ever could imagine it to be.

No surprise here but, the doctor is AWFUL at taking care of himself.

Which is why you step in to do small little gestures to help him out.

Whether it be bringing him another cup of coffee or making up a small snack for him to eat throughout the day, he even noticed you had draped his lab coat over him when he fell asleep at his desk one night.

He had to admit he wasn't quite used such small acts of kindness; it was a foreign feeling to him.

Did I also mention he’s tired like 24/7. Let this poor man sleep!! 😭

Believe it or not, he’s grown to quite enjoy your company, maybe it was your relaxed nature, but he felt somewhat at ease whenever you were around.

You’ve both actually held some decent conversations from time to time, both sharing your interests that lead into a ramble about his favorite airplane models.

(Romantic):

His confession was actually quite a funny story, and he wasn't even the one to do it! It was 5.0.5 surprisingly. The sweet blue bear wasn't blind, he began to notice that his papa would longingly stare at you, that he would mumble to himself in his sleep, secret confessions he would never dare say consciously. So, the bear came up with a little plan.

5.0.5 loves to draw, Flug practically keeps every drawing he’s ever given him. He decided that he’d make a love note, from Flug to You. He spends a generous amount of time on it, putting such care into the cute little card, and when he’s deemed it perfect enough, he drops it off to you, happily growling.

You're taken by surprise at first, but then you open up the heart shaped card covered in glitter and are pleased to find an adorable childlike drawing of you and Flug, surrounded by a bunch of pink and red hearts. How sweet!

When you confront the doctor in his lab, showing him the card, he flushes, and at first denies such feelings, slightly embarrassed that his fuzzy son was the one to do it instead of him. It’s then that he decides there's no going back and spills out everything to you.

Which is why he’s shocked when you tell him you reciprocate his feelings. What?? Him?? Really????

Things start if really awkward btw, the doctor has been without physical contact for so long that WASNT being beaten down by his boss, that he honestly forgot what it was like to experience affection, aside from the crushing hugs that 5.0.5 would give him.

He’s very fidgety, doesn't quite know what to do with his hands, where to put them or how you’ll respond to his touch.

Please give him a hug :(

He’s also very respectful of your boundaries, as you are with him, he’s not quite comfortable taking the bag off his head, which you don't mind in the slightest.

Things seem to continue almost as normally, but the two of you spend more and more time with each other, taking your breaks together, having lunch and spending your evening time hanging out when neither one of you are slammed with work. He quite enjoyed having movie nights with you, the sci-fi films are always his favorite btw. He heavily critiques the machines and inventions.

You both try to keep your relationship on the down low, Black Hat would blow a gasket if he found out. Demencia on the other hand was a huge tease. She frequently mocked the two of you, mostly Flug, however. You’d stick up for him of course and tease her right back, much to the doctor's surprise.

Queue the heart eyes.

Dr. Flug expresses his affection through small, thoughtful gestures, like leaving little notes of encouragement or surprising you with inventions tailored to your interests.

Speaking of gift giving, he prefers to hand make your gifts. His ideology is that there's no point in getting you a meaningless gift that you’ll throw out in a couple of weeks, so why not make you a meaningful one that you can make your life easier???

Which btw he's VERY observant, it's actually quite endearing from time to time, and he takes note of all your special interests, favorite foods, etc.

Mans is touch-starved. Sorry I don't make the rules. 

PLEASE HOLD HIM. 

He’s pretty hesitant to touch at first, but the second he gets a feel for physical affection he's latching onto you like a koala-bear. He likes holding your hand, his hands are surprisingly soft underneath his gloves. 

When you’re both hidden away in the evening from prying eyes, is when you can finally cuddle and be more affectionate with each other. SPOIL HIM PLEASE.

You become one of his biggest supporters, encouraging him and giving him the long-deserved praise, he aches for. When he’s with you, he’ll admit that you have substantially helped boost his ego and confidence which really pays off in his work. Not that Black Hat would ever give him the satisfaction.

Overall, Dr. Flug really is a sweetheart on the inside, especially with those he's grown to love and care about and getting him to open up to you about his insecurities is one of your best accomplishments, he feels like he can be vulnerable with you and that really says a lot. The man has a lot of inner demons and has willingly put his life down the path of villainy, but he feels with you by his side, that things will be a little bit better...

[didyoulookforme]

hi friends 👋

i just wanted to stop by to share some of the fics which i always return to and are now like comfort food for me. all of these awesome writers also inspired me to start posting here back in march so thank you. i appreciate you more than i could ever say 🤍

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be my mistake by @alovesreading

probably one of the first 75 fics i ever read once i got back on tumblr late last year. it is heartbreaking but i cannot stop myself from re-reading it every once in a while. a is such a sweet and talented person with so many amazing fics that you should check out if you haven't. another one of my faves by her is quarter past midnight, for all of the ross girlies out there.

body piercer!matty by @sugar-coat-it

i mean, there's not much i can say about our favourite mohawked punk boy. my dearest belle killed it with this au and he's become one of my go-to matty's in this world. i'd kill for a night with him lol. ilysm belle and whenever i see your handle pop up on my feed i cannot help but smile.

truth serum by @imagine-that-100

this fic is so freaking sweet and i love it so much. again, this is another one which i found soon after i came back to tumblr. if you even need a little pick-me-up, reading this will do the trick. matty taking care of you will always be a fave trope of mine. @imagine-that-100 has also created other beautiful au's and if you are ever looking for some alex turner x reader fic, will we talk? is beyond.

costumes by @toomuchracket

roleplay with matty in his lab coat? sign. me. up. this fic fucked with my mind in the best way possible. i think it was my first introduction to birthday party!matty. needless to say, i was instantly hooked. mads is an incredible writer and all of her au's are :chef's kiss:

playing on my mind by @ughgoaway

if you for some reason haven't read any of ace's teacher au, please do it tonight. you won't regret it. they've done an amazing job at building such a beautiful, cozy world that makes you feel like you're part of it. ace, i'll never be able to thank you enough for this.

truth or dare by @abiiors

brother's best friend daniel my beloved. a first time fic will always get me and this one stuck in my mind since the first time i read it. the amount of time i've spent reading vee's work should be alarming, but i don't care. i cannot get enough of it.

the dress by @kennedy-brooke

i'm usually a matty girl (surprise to no one here) but this george fic is amazing. the text exchange between george and matty is golden, and the smut is just... yeah. another one i've read way too many times but will never get tired of it. thank you so much @kennedy-brooke for this piece of gold.

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if you have the time, make sure to check out their work if you haven't already. i assure you won't be disappointed.

there are so many other amazing writers in this community so i'll have to do a part 2 of this so it doesn't get too long.

thank you for reading!

[bxbu-chuu]

Tooru is 33, he's lying in bed scrolling on his phone. The screen's light reflects on the shiny gold band on his ring finger, and he instinctively turns to his side when it catches his attention. Shoyo is sleeping like a log, no matter how many years have passed since 5 AM alarms for jogs and practice, his husband never really got out his routine and is mostly in bed and asleep by 10 PM.

On the other hand, they say bad habits die hard and Tooru never managed to sleep at a decent time. Right now it's a good opportunity, though, to just stare at the tan, freckled, calm face resting on the right side of the pillow. To take in the smell of salt air coming through the open window and and realize there's dog hair all over the bedding and Shoyo's bright orange hair.

It hits him, then, just how happy he is. How much he enjoys getting into bed at 1 AM, warm and inviting after Shoyo's been asleep for hours- just to get woken up at ungodly hours and dragged, in what is basically pajamas, to walk their dog. The joy it brings him to share delicious home cooked meals at the tiny table in their terrace.

He's never had much impulse control, so he's not even surprised at himself when he reaches for Shoyo's shoulder, shaking him awake. His husband scrunches his face in an adorable, sleepy expression and makes a small noise of acknowledgement.

"Have I ever told you what Iwaizumi told me after our last highschool match?"

Shoyo's expression is now more or less equal parts intrigue and annoyance at being woken up for no good reason. "What did he tell you?"

"He said I'd never be satisfied no matter how many tournaments I won. He said I'd be that guy that chases volleyball forever."

Shoyo gives him a tired smile. "I don't blame him for thinking that, you had all the odds in your favor."

Tooru can't help but think about winning the Olympic gold, the feeling of "I made it" still fresh on his mind despite the years. He thinks back to the moment he called Shoyo at the airport in Argentina, tears of excitement in his eyes when he told him that he was retiring and they could finally be together. He spares another quick glance at the wedding ring on his finger before returning his attention to the man in front of him.

"I'm just glad he was wrong."

[aye-jaye-2005]

alright, as promised, for the 50 notes on my post about being starved for mlm cod smut - here is my work. it's not very good most likely, so i apologize in advance

NAMES - König x M!Reader

Summary: König being a jealous bitch cause someone flirted with you. (the guy who flirted with you was being an ass anyway)

A/N: My boyfriend has read this once, this is unedited. I was always ahead in english classes so hopefully this won't be a load of hot garbage.

Content Warnings: Aggressive Flirting (character won't take no for an answer), Injury, Strong Language, Badly Written Medical Care (i don't know how to write injuries and medical stuff, i'm sorry 😭), Badly Translated German, Praise Kink, Size Difference(?), P-in-P Sex, Jealously-Sex. (i think that's everything, please tell me if i missed anything)

********************************************************

You were doing combat training with König and a crop of new recruits.

"Alright, split off into pairs and practice. Small injuries are mostly excusable but please don't break anything."

There was a low grumble of "Yessir"'s and the group began to split off into pairs.

A smaller man saunters over to you. "M'name is Theo. Who're you, handsome?" Theo held out his hand for you to shake.

"Y/N." You shake hands with him briskly and pull your hand away.

"Ah, strong and silent type, are we now? I can work with that too." Theo got closer to you, chests nearly touching.

"Excuse me." You back away a step. "I just know when to hold my tongue."

Theo raised an eyebrow at you. "Are you trying to imply something, handsome?"

You shrugged. "Now, spar me. Isn't that why you came over here?"

"Not the only reason..." Theo mumbled under his breath.

"Hm?"

"Nothing."

Before you'd joined the army, you'd done various martial arts. You were quite good and were able to pin Theo to the ground a few times. Theo, however, was small and surprisingly quick. He wasn't all that good at fighting and hand-to-hand combat, but he could avoid you quickly. He tired out quickly and you were able to finally pin him to the ground. You let him up and let your guard down to go get a sip of water, and Theo jumped you from behind and held you down. His foot was on your shoulder and he was holding your arm down at the wrist with his hands.

"Now I've got you right where I want you." Theo hissed in your ear.

You rolled your eyes at him. "Can I go get my water now?"

"No." he growled. "Now, I have something I want to ask you, handsome." His voice became sickly sweet as he increased the pressure on your shoulder.

"Could it have waited until-"

"No. Stop giving me that fucking attitude." He pulled back on your arm, making your shoulder crack.

"Ouch- You're gonna pull my arm out-" You started tapping out to try to signal that Theo needed to let you go. "Theo, I'm tapping out, this hurts."

"No, you are gonna listen to me." Theo pulled back harder on your arm, making it crack a few more times. You stifled a cry of pain. "You, Y/N, are gonna meet me, Theo, out back by the barns after training is over. We're gonna talk, and late tonight we're gonna meet up and have some fun."

"And what if I don't want to?"

"Then I'm gonna do this." Theo gave one last pull on your arm and pulled your arm out of socket with a loud *CRACK*. You cried out in alarm and pain.

"I was- I was tapping out- You bitch-" You could hardly talk. You had never dislocated a joint, not even a pinky finger, and this was hurting like hell.

König came running over, having heard you yell. He saw you on the ground and Theo standing over you. "Anyone care to explain to me what the hell is going on here?"

Theo was quick to whip up a story. "We were just sparring and I was holding him down and practicing a technique I'd heard about. He wouldn't tell me it was hurting, sir-"

"That's Colonel to you, Theo." König growled at him.

Theo seemed to shrink under König's threatening stance. "R-right, Colonel- Anyway, Y/N wouldn't tell me I was hurting him, he wasn't tapping out or anything."

König sighed and muttered in German under his breath. "Y/N, come with me to the medbay. Theo, find someone else to spar with." He then shouted across the field. "HORANGI!"

A smaller man perked his head up and came rushing over. "Yes, Colonel?"

"I have to take Y/N to medbay, keep an eye on these utter buffoons."

"Yes, Colonel."

Underneath all the conversations, you were lying on the ground, sweating from the pain. König gingerly hoisted you up off the ground and helped you half-walk, half-stumble to the medbay. The nurse was able to quickly pop your shoulder back in place.

"It might be sore for a day or two, so don't overwork it too much."

"Yes, ma'am." You were panting from the effort it took to not scream when she put your shoulder back in place.

"You should stay here until lights out, 2300, so I can make sure nothing else is happening underneath. Gotcha?"

"Yes ma'am."

König put a hand on your uninjured shoulder. "It's about 1900 right now, so you won't be stuck here for too long."

"Yessir."

***

Just an hour later, Theo walked into the medbay. His eye was swollen and his nose was bleeding.

"Colonel punched me. Did'n have my guard up." he grumbled bitterly. Upon seeing you also in the medbay, his face lit up. "Well, hey there sweetheart. Any reconsideration on my offer yet?"

"No."

"Aww, handsome can't handle a little fun? Might muss up your spotless record or something?"

"Man, just fuck off. I don't have a spotless record, but I don't want to fuck you."

"I'm just messing around, babycakes. Learn to take a joke, lighten up a little!" Theo winked at you and turned to the stone-faced nurse.

You turned your face away so you wouldn't have to look at him. Unfortunately, you could still hear his frankly pathetic attempts at asking the nurses to sleep with him. You finally drifted off into a nap, glad to get some rest after this whole ordeal.

***

A nurse gently shook you awake. "Y/N, it's 2230, you may head back to your quarters."

"Oh- Thank you."

"Of course. Come back if it's giving you any trouble."

"I will."

It was a short walk to your quarters that you shared with König. There was a gentle evening breeze and you stopped a moment outside the door to drink in the delicious wind. You sighed satisfactorily and went inside.

"There you are, Schatz." He pulled you in for a hug. "I was worried about you."

"I'm fine, Kö, don't worry. It was that bitchass Theo who caused this whole mess. He dislocated my shoulder after I refused to meet with him."

König bristled. "He did what?" he backed away from you and bent down to look you in the eyes. "Did he try to ask you out, Meine Liebe?"

"He just wanted a one-night, I think. He tried again when he saw me in medbay and had the audacity to wink at me and flirt with me. I mean, honestly Theo, you think I'm gonna be willing to fuck after you dislocated my damn shoulder?" You started to wander slowly into the kitchen.

"Theo? His name is Theo?"

"Yes... where are you going with-"

König pushed you up against the counter and started kissing you hard. It took a few moments before you pushed him back slightly.

"Well, what was all that about, Kö?"

Now there was a passion burning behind König's eyes. "Well, Mein Schatz-" he took his gloves off and placed them on the counter behind you. "The easy solution to this is that i fuck you until you can't remember his name. I'll show you just how much better than him I am." Now he was taking off his boots and he was already undoing his belt. "Sound fair, Schatz?"

You blushed "I-" You cleared your throat as you were already getting hard. "God-"

König smirked at you. "Does it sound fair or not, Liebling?" König walked over to you and pressed his body against your stiffening cock.

Your eyes rolled back a little before you met König's bright blue eyes. "Yep, sounds- Oh, god- sounds good to me-"

***

König had you cumming quickly. He was quick and aggressive, and knew just how to hit those spots that made you make all those pretty little noises for him.

"Your first reason that I'm better than him: I can make you cum much quicker."

"Oh, please do-"

"Reason number two:-" König continued talking as you shuddered and bit back a loud moan. "If you, Liebling, are a good boy for me, I'll praise you much better than he ever can."

"God, yes you do-"

"Reason number three:-" König pulled down the waistband of his boxers to reveal his large, meaty cock. "I am definitely bigger than him, and you know it. Don't you, Liebling?" He pulled down the elastic of your boxers to reveal your own hard dick.

"Yes- Yes I know-"

"Come on, Liebling, say it with your full chest for me." König cooed in your ear. He started teasing the tip of your erect cock with his thumb. "Say it, Schatz."

"I know- fuck- I know you have a bigger dick than him-" You inhaled sharply and let loose a breathy, high-pitched moan.

"Hmm? Who's 'him", Liebe?" König eyes were dark with desire.

"Theo- I know you have a bigger- ahh- a bigger dick than Theo-"

You were already weak at the knees from König's relentless teasing. You leaned back and braced your hands on the counter behind you and you shuddered as precum started leaking slowly out your hard dick. "Oh god-"

"Reason number four: I can and will kiss you so much better than he ever will." To prove his point, König pressed his lips hungrily on yours, all while teasing you with his thick, calloused fingers.

You threw your head back and whined. "Yes- oh god, yes- You're a much better kisser than Theo-"

"Good, good, you're learning." To reward your learning, he started slowly, slowly pushing his dick into yours.

"Please- Please go faster- fucking hell-"

"I will, Liebling, just you wait."

The anticipation made your dick throb. "Please-" you whined. To retaliate, König covered your mouth, which just turned you on more. You moaned loud and long into his large hand.

Finally, finally König was starting to go faster. His dick was so large and long that he was able to slam that sweet spot each time, which affectively turned you into a whining, moaning mess.

"Reason number five:-" he paused momentarily for another deep thrust. "I know all your dirty little secrets."

"You know- you know all my dirty little secrets-" Each of your quick breaths was ended with a short, sharp whine as König kept slamming that wonderful little spot deep in you.

"And who doesn't?"

You couldn't even get the words out. König smirked at you. "Go on, who doesn't, Meine Schatz?" He paused his thrusts for a moment to let you get a word or two out. You were panting hard and your cheeks were flushed bright red.

"Th-Theo-"

"Good, good boy." He continued his relentless beat of thrusting, and even when it seemed he couldn't he went faster and harder. The sounds of your squelching arousal were filling the small kitchen.

You could feel that knot deep inside you starting to move outward, closer to the tip as König kept thrusting in you.

"Oh god- Ohh god-! I'm gonna- Aah-" Your whole body shuddered. "I'm-" You couldn't even get all the words out.

"Go on, finish your sentence." König teased.

"I'm so close-!"

"Tell me how close, Liebling." König smiled mischievously."

"So close- Mmm-" Your back arched and you groaned. "Almost there-"

Your whole body shivered and your hips bucked forwards as the knot in you became dangerously close to your tip. Your dick pulsed and throbbed, and one final rough thrust from König forced the knot out of you.

Thick, creamy liquid leaked out of your tip and ran down your dick, some threatening to go down your pants or on the floor. König milked your dick dry before pulling out, dripping his own milky semen.

König bent down on his knees to clean up the mess he'd made of you while you caught your breath.

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(i don't know how to properly write aftercare and also i have a migraine slowly building so i think i'm gonna call it here)

anyways, here my fellow gay men, be fed. idk 😭

[mamaestapa]

A Day Full of Surprises

•pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

•series summary: Y/N Y/L/N moved to Cincinnati, Ohio for a new start. Move in day arrives and she discovers something terrible...the apartment complex gave her the wrong lease. Instead of living with who she originally was supposed to, she's now living with the hottest quarterback in the NFL, Joe Burrow. Y/N is stuck living in the same apartment with him for a year...which the two are not thrilled about. However, as time goes on, they realize that maybe this wasn't the worst thing that could happen to them. Will Y/N and Joe stay enemies, or will they find themselves falling in love?

•chapter summary: It’s just a few weeks away from the start of a new NFL season and you and Joe have a day full of surprises that will change your lives forever

•word count: 4.7k

•warnings: lots of fluff, some angst, crying, mentions of pregnancy. i feel you’re either going to be happy with how i’m ending the series or you’re going to be disappointed

series masterlist

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August 10, 2023

Joe woke up to my alarm beeping and you groaning beside him. His tired eyes fluttered open as he reached for his phone and hit the stop button for his alarm. He sighed as he rubbed his hands down his face. Joe did not feel like going to practice today at all.

The two of you had just gotten back a couple days ago from your second off-season trip to Arizona. Your first trip out there was in May when the two of you stayed in Phoenix with your parents. During your trip, Joe got to meet more of your family and even your college friends, who are just as sweet as you. You showed him all of your favorite places in Arizona while you were there too. Joe swears he’s never seen you that genuinely happy before. You had told him that you miss Phoenix sometimes, but everyday you fall in love with the city of Cincinnati a little bit more.

As Joe pulled the covers off of his body, you wrapped your arms around him and entwined your legs with his, holding onto Joe like a koala. "I don't want you to go." you huffed, nuzzling your face into his neck. Joe chuckled and draped an arm around your body, "I don't want to go either," he planted a soft kiss to the top of your head, "but you know I have to."

You craned your neck up, a frown on your face as you looked at Joe, "but I just want to hold you." He pulled you close to his body, "I know sweets," Joe said, frowning, "but you can't." Joe gave you one last kiss to the top of your head before he let go of you. Although his hold on you loosened, your hold on him didn't. Joe let out a sigh.

"Y/n." No response. "Y/n sweetheart," he rubbed your arm that was wrapped tightly around his torso, "you gotta let me go."

You just sighed and nuzzled yourself closer to Joe's bare chest. He let out a sigh of defeat as he just laid in bed and let his girlfriend cuddle him for a few more minutes. You held on to Joe as if he was going to disappear if you let go of him. Now, Joe enjoys cuddling with you, especially in the morning. But he also knows you enjoy your space too, especially in the morning. So this clingy, koala type hold you had on Joe, as much as he enjoys it, is a little strange. Joe figured he wouldn't think too much of it. After all, the two of you have spent almost every day together during the offseason. It's going to be difficult to be away from you and Bean while Joe's at practice.

"Baby, as much as I'd love to hold you all day," Joe spoke gently, kissing your head once again before he continued, "I have to go. If I don't go you know Zac will be on my ass."

You sighed loudly and pulled yourself off of Joe, giving him your signature sad look. Joe frowned and grabbed your right hand, kissing it gently before he got out of bed. You watched with sad eyes as he walked out of his bedroom and out into the living room to get Bean. As Joe walked out into the living room, your golden doodle Bean greeted him with a wag of her little tail as her high pitched puppy bark rang out through the apartment.

"Morning Beanie girl." Joe greeted, chuckling as he grabbed her pink leash off the counter and took her out of her gated area in the living room. Joe latched her leash and took her outside. Bean quickly did her business and he brought her back into the apartment, rewarding her with a treat and her breakfast. As he put the dish down on the ground for the puppy, Joe heard sniffles coming from his bedroom. He furrowed his eyebrows together and cautiously walked into his room, fearing the worst. His heart broke at the sight in front of him. You were holding your head in your hands as your shoulders shook. Joe frowned and immediately rushed over to your side. He figured you must have been clingy because something was bothering you. Joe sat down on the bed and wrapped his muscular arms around your body, pulling you close to him. Your cries turned into gut wrenching sobs as soon as Joe pulled you close to him. "Hey, hey," he cooed, cradling your head to his chest as he held you, "you're okay."

You tightened your grasp on Joe as you continued to sob. Joe didn't even know how to react. He wanted to know what made you suddenly burst into tears, but he knew he needed to comfort you first. After a few more minutes of you sobbing and Joe whispering sweet nothings, your sobs soon calmed enough to the point where you could talk. Joe stroked your tear streaked cheeks with his thumb as you worked on calming your breathing. He placed a gentle kiss to your temple as you sniffled.

"I-I'm sorry," you said, your voice laced with sadness, "I don't even know why I'm crying. And I got tears and snot all over you. I'm so gross." you choked out another sob as you finished speaking. "Oh honey," he kissed your head, "you're not gross, it's okay. I promise." Joe said softly as he reassured you. You lifted your head from his chest and sniffled. Joe pulled his arms away from you and frowned as he watched you wipe the tears away from your eyes. It broke his heart to see you so upset. Joe placed a hand on your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze as you composed yourself.

"Are you OK?" he asked softly, stroking the soft skin of your thigh with his thumb. You nodded, "Y-yeah. I'm just sad." Joe cocked his head to the side, "About what sweetheart?" You wiped your nose with a tissue from his bedside table, "You going to practice."

Joe couldn't help the slight widening of his eyes as he heard you say that. You got that worked up over him going to practice?! He was so worried it was something much worse than that.

"Are you sure that's it?" Joe asked, looking at you and expecting you to say more. You nodded, letting out a sad laugh, "It's pathetic, I know." you sighed, "I just, I've felt so weird these last couple days. I'm so emotional and I don't know why."

Joe frowned as he continued to lovingly stroke your thigh with his thumb. You sighed once again and continued speaking, "I'm stressed out because of the whole re-signing the lease situation, and Bean, I love her to pieces but she's so much work at this stage. On top of that, the seasons starting again and we're so busy at the boutique. I'm just so overwhelmed." Joe pulled you into a tight hug, embracing you as long as you needed. He knew you were under a lot of stress right now, but he didn't realize it was that much.

"I just wish I could hold you all day Joe. That's all I want to do right now." you mumbled against his chest. "Me too beautiful," Joe said softly, "me too." You pulled away and smiled softly at him, "but I know you can't."

"I'll make it up to you this weekend."

"You promise?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. Joe nodded, "I Promise." He leaned in and gently kissed those soft lips of the girl he loved so much. It broke his heart to see you so upset. You pulled away and hummed softly, "I love you." "I love you too." Joe replied, smiling warmly at you. He squeezed your thigh and stood from the bed, "Try to enjoy your day okay? I'll be home before you know it."

You just nodded and gave Joe a small smile as you looked up at him.

"When I get home, I promise I'll cuddle with my girls all night." Joe's smile grew as he saw your small smile turn into a happy grin. It warmed his heart seeing that beautiful smile of yours once again. Joe's more of a cat guy, but he sure does love his Beanie girl. Especially since she makes you so happy. And if you're happy, Joe's happy too.

~Small time skip~

You let out a sad sigh as you heard the apartment door close. Joe was gone and he wouldn't be back until later this afternoon. You don't know why you got so upset this morning over him just going to football practice. It wasn't like he was going away for days? He would be back in a few hours. You just felt so sad and overwhelmed with so many emotions when he tried to leave. You've actually been that way a lot recently. Ever since you and Joe got back from Arizona your emotions seem to be all over the place. Every little thing makes you emotional. Like a couple nights ago when Bean was snuggled up on the couch with you and Joe, and her little head was laying on your tummy as she slept. It was so cute seeing her little body curled up between the two of you that it brought tears to your eyes.

You're sure your heightened emotions are just because of all of the things going on in your life right now. The uncertainty of where you'll be living for the next year is the biggest cause of your worry. Joe was only staying in the apartment for a year. He's recently been house hunting around the area, trying to find his forever home in the Queen city. You, on the other hand, have been trying to decide if you want to re-sign a lease or not. You know what you everyone would say about this: Y/n, why don't you just live with Joe? As great as that sounds, living in an apartment together is one thing, but living in a house? That's a big commitment. You love Joe with your whole heart and you know he loves you just as much, if not more, but you don't know if you're quite there yet. The two of you have only been dating for six months. You think you're ready, but, you don't know if he is...

You got out of bed and went out into the living room. A smile appeared on your face as you were greeted by a barking Bean. "Hi gorgeous girl!" you exclaimed, your voice sounding like you were talking to a baby. Honestly, Bean was basically yours and Joe's baby. You got Bean out of her gated area and took her outside. Once she was done, you brought her back inside and played with her in the living room. As you were playing tug of war with her black and orange rope, your phone went off, signaling that you had gotten a text. You set the rope down and grabbed your phone, seeing that you got a message from Macee.

Macee- Hey Y/n! Joe stopped by before practice and he seemed worried about you...is everything ok?

You shook your head as you read her text. Of course he stopped by and said something. It's sweet of him to be concerned, but there's no reason for him to be concerned about you.

You- Hey! I was having a rough morning, very emotional. I'm better now though, thanks for checking in :)

Macee- Good, I'm glad! Why don't you come in with Bean? I know it's your day off, but I could use some puppy snuggles. Plus, Holly and Emma are coming in with Sophie. Maybe that'll help you out a bit?

You- Beanie and I will be there in a few. Thanks Macee❤️

Macee was right. Maybe seeing the girls would help you feel better.

~Time skip~

"And then I just started sobbing and I couldn't stop." you said, shaking your head, "Joe comforting me almost made it worse."

Macee frowned, "I'm sorry Y/n."

You shrugged, taking a bite of the sandwich Holly got you. You chewed throughly before saying, "It's okay. I've just been super overwhelmed with pretty much everything." Holly gave you a small smile, "Well we're here for you." Emma nodded, "Always." You smiled, "Thank you girls. I really appreciate it." You let out a sigh as you laughed lightly, "I'm sure I'll be fine once my period starts."

Your laughter stopped as soon as you realized what you had just said.

"Y/n?" Macee asked, her face contorting to a look of concern, "You okay?" "Yeah, you look a little pale hun." Holly said, her tone cautious.

You nodded, "Yeah," you said shakily, "um what's todays date again?" Macee looked at the calendar hanging up behind the counter, "The tenth. Why?"

Shit. Your period was supposed to start four days ago. Oh god.

"Oh shit," you breathed out, letting your head fall into your hands. "What's wrong?" Emma asked, reaching out to rub your shoulder. You took a deep, shaky breath and brought your head away from your hands.

"My periods late." Holly's eyes widened, "Oh my gosh..."

"Oh god," you groaned, feeling your face heat up and eyes well with tears, "this can't be happening."

"Hey, hey," Macee said, rushing over to you, "don't freak out yet. You said it yourself, you're under a lot of stress. I doubt you're pregnant."

"Y/n," Emma said softly, "do you have any, you know, symptoms?"

You thought about it for a moment. You didn't think you had any out of the ordinary symptoms, especially those of pregnancy. You shrugged, "Besides the late period and being really emotional and clingy with Joe, no?"

Emma nodded, "Nothing else? Like Sore boobs? Nausea? Being turned away from foods or smells you like"

You shook your head. "I wouldn't worry about it, Y/n." Holly said, smiling reassuringly.

How could this even happen?! We've been so safe. Well, actually there was that one time...on the plane...going to Arizona...oh my god! You mentally cursed yourself as you thought of your...intimate time on the flight to Arizona. It was only a couple weeks ago, meaning it is possible. Could you really be pregnant? You were brought out of your thoughts by Macee saying, "There's a Walgreens down the street if you, you know..."

You just nodded, knowing if you said anything you'd probably burst into tears. Holly smiled and wrapped her arms around you giving you a gentle squeeze.

"I'll be right back."

~time skip~

You walked out of the bathroom of the boutique, rubbing your hands on your shorts. You held two upside down pregnancy tests in your hand, not wanting to look at the results yet. You walked back over the girls and let out the breath you've been holding ever since Holly got back with a box of pregnancy tests and a bottle of water.

Emma smiled, "Whatever the results are, just know we're here for you, okay?" You nodded, "I know. Thank you."

You haven't felt this nervous in such a long time. These three minutes have felt like the longest three minutes of your life. If this test is positive, you don't even know what you'll do. You and Joe have only been dating for six months, and hell, you've only known each other for almost a year. He's moving into a house and you just got a puppy, how can the two of you even bring a baby into this mess?

You let out a sigh and held the tests out, "I cant look." Macee nodded, "I'll do it." She said softly, reaching out for the white sticks that held the fate of your future. She turned the tests over, her eyes scanning over the results. Holly looked over her shoulder and a small smile made its way onto her face. "I don't know if this is what you're hoping for but," she held one of the tests out for you to look at. Your heart dropped to your stomach as you saw two pink lines staring back at you.

Positive.

You're having a baby.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you held the test in your hands. Macee, Holly, and Emma all came over to you and wrapped their arms around you. You can't believe this is happening. Well, you can, considering you and Joe weren't so safe when you joined the Mile High Club... you've always thought about having kids with Joe, but not this soon in your relationship.

"You're going to be a great mom Y/n." Macee said as she rubbed your back. You wiped your tears and smiled softly at her, "Thank you."

"What's going through your mind sweetie?" Holly asked as she squeezed your free hand. You sniffled, "What if Joe doesn't want this. What if he doesn't want to be a dad?"

Emma frowned, "Oh Y/n. I promise he wants this with you. Remember when the two of you held Sophia James for the first time and Joe said you looked like a natural, and that he couldn't wait to see you hold his baby someday? Think about all the times the two of you have watched SJ for Sam and I. He's so good with her, both of you are. He will be so excited Y/n, trust me."

A tear rolled down your cheek as you gave each of the girls a tight hug. "Thank you so much. I love you girls." "We love you too," Macee said as she squeezed you gently. She pulled away and smiled sweetly, "Congratulations." "Yes, congrats!" Holly beamed as she rubbed your arms, "you're going to be the best mama, and Beanie is going to be the best big sister."

You smiled and picked up the puppy, holding her close to you. You thought back to the night where she was laying on your tummy. Bean knew about the baby before it ever even became a thought in your mind. You can already tell that Bean and the baby will be best friends. You talked to the girls about how to break the news to Joe. Holly came up with a cute idea, telling you it would be the perfect way to break the news to him. She told you to get an infant Burrow jersey and give it to him when he gets home from practice. All of the girls agreed that telling him as soon as possible would make the situation much easier on both you and Joe. You thanked the girls once again and said your goodbyes before heading across the street to the sporting goods store. You quickly bought an infant Burrow jersey and headed back home to prepare yourself for how you would break the news to Joe.

You can only hope he reacts the way the girls say he will.

~time skip~

"Y/n!" Joe called as he walked into the apartment, "I'm home!"

You gulped nervously and pulled Joe's purple LSU t-shirt back down. You were looking in the mirror, checking for any noticeable changes in my body. There weren't any yet, but there would be very soon. You took a deep breath and turned the bathroom light off, opening the door and faking a smile as you locked eyes with Joe.

"Hey you." He smiled softly, meeting you in the middle of the bathroom and the living room. "Hey," you breathed out, wrapping your arms around his torso. You laid your head against his chest and closed your eyes. "You doin' any better?" He asked, gently stroking your arm. You nodded against his chest, "I'm glad you're back home. I missed you." You felt his chest vibrate against your cheek as he chuckled, "I was only gone for a few hours sweets," he pulled away and leaned down to kiss your cheek, "but I'm glad you're feeling better."

You just smiled softly at him as you pulled away from each other. It's now or never Y/n...you thought.

You took a deep breath before you cleared your throat and looked at Joe with a smile, "Hey I uh, I have something for you." Joe stopped petting Bean and looked up at you with his brow furrowed, "For me?" You nodded, "Mhm. Go sit on the couch, I'll be right back." "Okay..." He trailed off, watching with caution as you walked into your bedroom. With shaky hands, you picked up the folded black jersey and put one of the positive pregnancy tests in your back pocket. You took a deep breath and walked out of your room and out to the living room. Joe looked at you with a smirk as he looked at what you were holding in my hands.

"Oooo, it's black," he smirked, "you know how much I love that black lace you wear." you shook your head and let out a chuckle, "Stop. It's not lingerie, sorry to get you all worked up." Joe just chuckled as he looked at you. His laughter stopped and he looked at you with a sweet smile, "What do you have sweets?" You held out the folded jersey for him. He grabbed it and unfolded it, holding up the small jersey that his baby would end up wearing in about nine months. That is, if he stays around...

"Did you shrink a jersey?" He laughed, looking at me with sly grin. You couldn't help but laugh. "No you dork," you nervously tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear as you spoke, "look at the tag."

You nervously fiddled your fingers as you watched him bring the jersey down and look at the tag. Your breath hitched as you watched Joe's shoulders slump slightly and his Adams apple bob as his face turned pale. You couldn't quite read the expression on his face, which made you feel even more anxious than you already were.

"Joe," you gulped, "say something please. Anything.

He took his gaze away from the jersey, his blue eyes glossy with unshed tears. "Am I really going to be a dad?" He asked, his voice cracking with emotion. You nodded, "Yeah, you are." you pulled the positive pregnancy test out of your back pocket and held it out for him to look at. Joe grabbed the test and looked at it, his chin wobbling as he saw the results.

"I'm so sorry." you said softly as your own eyes began to well up with tears. Joe looked up at you as a tear rolled down his cheek. He shook his head and dropped the jersey and pregnancy test onto the coffee table before he stood up and pulled you into a tight embrace. "What are you sorry for?"

"For getting pregnant," You sniffed, looking up at him with sad eyes, "we've only been together for six months Joe. You're getting ready to move into your new house and start another season. We've been so careful, I'm just so sorry." Joe frowned, "Oh sweetheart," he squeezed you gently before pulling away to look at you, "you have nothing to be sorry for. I want nothing more than to have a baby with you Y/n.

Your heart swelled with joy hearing his words. "Really?"

Joe nodded and let out a light chuckle, "Yes. Is this unexpected? Yeah. Are we ready? Definitely not." he cupped your cheek as he continued, "but I love you so much Y/n. It might be earlier than we both expected, but I want this with you. Only if you do too." You couldn't help but shed a few tears as he spoke. You really appreciated Joe showing his support for your options. Even if you've only been dating for six months and it's happening a lot earlier than expected, you know that you want to have this baby with Joe. Who knows, maybe having this baby will bring both of you even closer together.

"I love you so much Joe." you wrapped your arms around him, Joe doing the same. The two of you squeezed each other gently as you held each other for a few moments. Joe pulled away, smiling softly at you. "So we're doing this?" You nodded, "We're doing this."

"We're having a baby?"

"We're having a baby."

Joe grinned happily as he wrapped his arms around your body again, this time rocking you back and forth as you both laughed happily. "Wait," he paused, pulling away from you and looking down at you with a smirk, "did this happen from the plane?" You smiled sheepishly, "Maybe." He shook his head and let out an amused chuckle before capturing your lips with a long sweet kiss.

"I love you." you said, a wide smile growing on your face as you looked up at your lover. "I love you too," Joe said, "both of you." He lovingly gazed down at your tummy. You stayed in each others embrace, both silent and overwhelmed with many emotions—the main one being happiness though. Joe broke the silence with an important and unexpected question.

"Move in with me." You raised your eyebrows, taken aback by the question, "W-what?" "I was going to ask you baby or no baby," he chuckled, "but I'd really love it if you moved in with me Y/n. You don't have to if you don't want to, I just thought-."

You cut him off with kiss on his cheek. You pulled away, a light blush on your cheeks as you said, "I'd love to move in with you, Joe."

He smiled, "Good. Because honestly, it would be weird without you there. I've gotten so used to your hair clogging up the drain and your makeup being all over my bathroom counter." You let out a laugh of disbelief as a playful smirk pulled at your lips, "Oh my gosh, quit. I cant help it!" He chuckled against your lips, "I know, I know. I'm just messing with you hon." You smiled, "I know you are."

Joe let out a heavy sigh as he looked down at you, his baby blues full of love and adoration. "So how long have you known? About the baby?" "I found out this afternoon. You're the only one that knows. Well, you, and Macee, and Emma, and Holly..." Joe chuckled, "So the whole team?"

You grimaced. You love the girls, but you know they probably couldn't keep the secret from their husbands. Joe will probably show up to practice tomorrow with the whole team congratulating him. Joe chuckled in response, grabbing your hand so you could both go sit on the couch. As you got comfortable on the couch, Joe leaned over the end and picked up the miniature jersey. He held up one end while you held the other end, both you with wide grins on your faces as you gazed longingly at the jersey your baby would wear someday.

Today was full of many surprises, but each surprise had you even more excited for your future with Joe.

hey loves!!

you and joe are having a baby!🥹 you went from hating eachother to having a baby together all in the span of a year, we love to see it lmao. ugh, i also just couldn't help myself, dad joe is just too sweet to write.

i'll be honest, this isn't how i anticipated this book to end. i had another idea, but i thought it was too boring so i decided to end it like this :) some are probably happy with this ending, some maybe not. I think its sweet. however, the series isn't over yet! we still have 2 more chapters to go, they're just little fluff chapters and an epilogue though, so nothing really important

thank you for all of love and support you've all shown me on this book and my other work as well. it truly means so much to me. you are all amazing and i love each and every one of you!🤍🤍

tags: @jackharloww @ilovejoeburroww @dandelionwrites8 @ijustcrypretty @sinners-98-world @a-moment-captured @stainednailpolishremover @spooky-stoner @xoxokiaraaxoxo @kkrenae @hallecarey1 @jordyn14

[aslitheryprinx]

Hermits in Space au! :D thought I'd share a short drabble from the gladiator group. Let's see what Gem and friends are up to, shall we?

~~~

Morning Routine in the Ring

~~~

Gem blinked awake to the sound of the breakfast bell. For a disoriented moment, she thought it was her alarm clock. Then, as she woke up, she remembered that she was currently on an alien planet and thus did not have access to her alarm clock. 

She groaned and pulled her pillow-like cushion over her head. Like every morning, she was tempted to go back to sleep. Also like every morning, before she could, a loud twittering noise similar to a bird kept her from drifting off. 

“Good morning, Pearl,” she replied to the greeting resentfully. When she removed the pillow from her face, her roommate, who was an alien species called an Avian, was standing there with a distinctly amused expression. 

Gem would throw the not-quite-pillow if she wasn’t absolutely certain Pearl would catch it. Instead, she launched it across the room in the vague direction of Joel, the only one of her dormmates who hated mornings more than her. She heard a yelp that meant her aim was true, and tried not to smirk too obviously. 

“Good morning, Gem,” said Xisuma, the only other human in the dorm. Really, she and X were probably the only two humans on the planet. 

“Morning, ‘suma,” Gem said with a sigh. She heard the morning greetings of Joel, with a high pitched bark and Ren with his deeper growl. She called back tired replies, then forced herself out of her nest-like bed. 

It had become a tradition for the five roommates to say good morning in their native tongues. Really, they said most things in their native tongues. Neither Gem or Xisuma had gotten a great grasp on Common yet- annoyingly ‘Suma was a bit further along than Gem had managed- so there was no point in speaking Common unless around other gladiators. 

“Your day with the translator, Gem,” X said, and that was all the warning she got before he tossed it her way. Still half-asleep or not, her reflexes were battle tested now. Her hand shot up to grab the tiny device before she was conscious of the motion. 

Adrenaline now pumping, she glared at her friend. 

“I told you to stop doing that!” she complained. 

“But it wakes you up so quickly!” 

“If you break our only translator, I’m gonna kill you.” As she threatened X, she slipped on the small device. 

Putting on a translator was always a little disorienting. There was a moment where it felt like she forgot all knowledge of language at all and another moment where it felt she knew every language all at once as the translator connected to her brain. Then, as the connection settled, it bridged the gap between the two. 

“Hi, Gem,” Pearl chirped with a grin. Gem grinned back. 

“Hi, Pearl,” she said. It was always nice when they could actually understand each other. 

“Gem, your pillow hit my eye!” Joel complained. “You and me, to the death in training today.” 

Normally, she’d accept Joel’s overdramatic challenge- she and Joel were probably the most evenly matched in fighting styles- but today was different. Letting her smugness be heard, she said, “No training for me. I have a match today.” 

Immediately, every one of her friends perked up. 

“Oh I forgot about that,” said Pearl. 

“You’re going to do great,” Ren told her, his tail wagging gently with excitement. 

In the competitive world of the Ring, real matches were important. The more matches your group won, the more privileges and amenities you had. Gladiators weren’t paid, so victories were the only way to earn things like better rooms or the best training times. 

It was kinda messed up, in Gem’s opinion, but it wasn’t like any of them had a better option. The Ring was a thousand times better than the poachers she and X had originally been picked up by. And even if they did pay in real money, it's not like they’d know where to go. Content really wasn’t the right word for how she felt about her situation, but at least she had friends and all her basic needs met. 

Gem actually enjoyed fighting. There was something satisfying about using all of her skills and strategy to take down an equally skilled opponent. Even the losses didn’t feel too bad, because she got better every time. She knew the whole system was designed to make it hard for gladiators to actually leave, but the accomplishments still felt good. 

Right now, their group was working towards another translator so she and X didn’t have to share one. Usually, everyone in a group got one on arrival, but the Ring had been short of funds when she and X were taken here. They’d never got their second translator because she and Xisuma could translate for each other with relative ease. If she won this match, though, they might not need to for much longer. 

Still excited from the reminder of Gem’s match, the group chattered all the way to breakfast.

[arkhamabyssfiles]

Loading FILE... RED_HOOD_MEMORY_06 HELENA WAYNE: AGE, 15 JASON TODD: AGE, 17

It wasn't a surprise that for his birthday everyone got him books, what was a bit of a surprise was that everyone got him a present—even Dick Grayson when they had just met a handful of times and talked even less. Alfred had given him a very nice old edition of David Copperfield, Bruce had gone for some Shakespeare, Dick had given him Anna Karenina, and Helena The Divine Comedy. He'd already read all of them, but it had been very nice, to own a book, not just borrow them from the limited -and frequently missing pages- selection of the one public library he’d had access to while surviving at the city's bowels. All of them had a dedicatory, it made it even more clear that these books were his. Dick's was funny at least if not very meaningful or deep.

Alfred told me what 

to buy, and write 

something nice, I did.

Happy 17th Birthday!

-Dick

And Alfred had baked him the most delicious tiramisu cake he'd ever eaten. It felt surreal, a birthday with presents and a cake. For the first time in his life, he'd felt like he belonged, that he was appreciated, that he was wanted. And perhaps in some ways a little too much, he wouldn’t say names, but cat princesses could be annoying to deal with.

Dick had gone already, as soon as the cake was cut he'd chosen to retreat in case some of the friction between him and Bruce blew over and ruined a perfectly nice evening. On account of his birthday, Bruce had told him to stay in for the night, he wouldn't be out for long today anyway so Jason accepted on the condition he'd call if he needed help. Jason knew he really wouldn't but Alfred was monitoring him and would send the alarm if needed.

So Jason had happily stayed in the library gawking at his new books, especially the old ones from Shakespeare, it's been a while since he'd read any plays or poems. So absorbed he'd been he hadn't noticed someone lean into the backrest of the couch until she blew on his ear. He jumped startled and he almost dropped the precious book.

“Guard down? What would B said if he saw that?” Helena asked playfully and crawled over the backrest and slumped down beside him.

Jason flushed at being caught so unaware and rubbed his still-tickling ear, “Leave me alone. Don't you have some medicine book to study?”

“Yes. Some,” Helena answered but didn't budge, instead she just looked thoughtfully into the fire.

Jason sighed and shook his head, if she just wanted to goof around he didn't care as long as she was quiet. He returned to Othello—or would have if something soft hadn't caressed his cheek. It took him a second to realize he'd been kissed and he immediately moved away from Helena with a hand over his cheek as if she had slapped him.

“What—? What was that?”

“A birthday kiss,” Helena said leaning her chin onto her curled knees and looking at him with interest.

“Do you do that to everyone?”

“Actually, yes. Also to my godparents and some of the Sisters at school. Sorry, it's something I usually do.”

“Right. You could've warned me at least,” Jason grumbled now that he wasn't flushed anymore and rubbed at his cheek trying to take the memory of her lips on his skin.

“Then your reaction wouldn't be as fun,” Helena explained with a small smile, “—or maybe it would have, who knows? And besides, I don't think you'd let me if I'd told you beforehand.”

“You're fu—damn right! Stop getting into my personal space already!”

Helena didn't seem bothered at all by his rude tone and neither did she move, “Says the one who fell asleep on my lap the other day.”

Jason flushed again, how could a girl two years younger -at least for the next three months- make him blush all the time as if he was the teenage girl? 

“I was tired—it was your fault anyway,” He grumbled.

Helena smiled, “Well, I don't mind. There is nothing wrong about it. I think it's good you can snuggle around with someone.”

“I wasn't snuggling,” He said, knowing full well he was.

“Alright, you weren't,” Helena said and flipped through the pages of the book she had given him.

“Have you read it?” Jason changed the subject.

Helena closed the book and put it atop his other presents, “Kind off—” She said evasively.

“Had you even opened it before?” Jason asked, she looked at him from behind the book shortly. “Have you even read some Shakespeare?” A rasping sound was his answer. “What about the classic Greeks?” A cough.  “…Jane Austen? Dickens?”

“I’ve seen the Muppet’s Christmas Carol,” Helena said as if that somehow counted.

He had believed that for someone already at med school she would've already read most books on the shelves of this library, it seemed her brain just worked one way, and enjoyment of a good story wasn’t part of it, it was all technical books with her. Hell, he’d even seen Bruce reading paperback mystery novels. Jason said nothing, but his critical stare sure was speaking for him because she squirmed then Helena stood up airly, and brushed her skirt down. 

“I better go study some,” Helena said with all the dignity a queen might have when retiring from the court. Jason huffed and followed her retreat with his eyes.

She turned briefly at the door, “I don’t need to know those to be a doctor.”

“Of course, you don’t,” Jason snorted and smiled, she was an idiot of sorts. Jason blinked in surprise, her face had turned red, and then she stuck her tongue out at him and fled the room.

END OF MEMORY... For more FILES check previous entries...

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Hey Aerie, how are you doing? Happy Wednesday! As much as I'd love to ask for the Mer Roadtrip AU, I'm way too partial towards Angel Neil. It's just so... sigh, perfect. Needless to say, Angel Neil for this week! There is a surprising lack of mer AUs, and I do love them, so I'm glad you're doing one. I hope you're having a nice week <3

WIP Wednesday (5/1) | Guardian Angel Neil AU (Part 178)

That night Andrew can’t sleep.

He’s comfortable and cocooned in his blanket with the wall at his back. His pillow is putting off that calming blue glow he’s grown accustomed to. And he’s tired enough to be yawning near constantly. Any other night these would be perfect sleeping conditions, but he just can’t doze off.

Apparently finding the roof deserted this afternoon was far more upsetting to Andrew than he’d initially realized. His little spiral at the mall hadn’t helped either. And when they got back to the dorm, he didn’t get a chance to go upstairs all evening.

A few days ago, he wouldn’t have been so alarmed. But that was because he thought Neil existed only in the funhouse Andrew calls a mind. Now he knows that’s not true. Neil is real. And witty and smart and stupid and annoying and beautiful and bitchy and kind and pretty… 

Andrew’s thoughts are racing so fast he can barely hold onto them, but the point is: Neil is a real fucking person who just so happens to have wings and who gives a fuck about Andrew. For most of his life, he thought both those things were impossible. But they’re not. Neil is a real person. And that means he can leave— like real people do.

But he wouldn’t. Not after all the time they’ve spent together. They’ve become too close for Neil to throw that away. Especially after trying so hard to prove he was real. And after promising to stay, Neil wouldn’t leave him. 

Why not? Everyone else does, whispers something horrible in the back of Andrew’s mind. And on that note, he throws off his blanket and slips out of his bed. Because he knows he won’t be able to sleep like this. He has to know if Neil is there or not. 

[stellar-constellations]

ive got 0 idea if you takes reqs, but i recently finished your yuri briar x reader AND IM IN LOVE

so.

we got a slightly sick yuri, but what about an extremely ill y/n that yuri has to take care of ? with his stubborness theres sure to be some aruging

of course, if youre not feelig up to oneshots, some cute headcannons for them whould be awesome !!

youre such a great writer mwah i hope you have a good day !! :3

        Sick! Fem! (Y/N) x Yuri Briar

        This can be read with or without reading my Yuri Briar x Fem! Spy! (Y/N) series: An Alliance (part 1).

Beware! This fic DOES contain SPOILERS for the manga and for the Yuri Briar x Fem! (Y/N) series: An Alliance!

        Setting is AFTER the reader rejoined WISE (so Yuri and (Y/N) are married and [Y/N] becomes an official double-spy).

        I rarely get sick. I think part of that is because of all the viruses and infectious pathogens I've been exposed to growing up. Growing up in the poor side of Luwen, Westalis. Joining the Westalis military and watching as doctors with not enough medical experience or knowledge bullshit their way through life-threatening procedures or even unknown viruses from Ostania get tons of syringes jabbed in their shoulders. Traveling through countries and hiding in sometimes very unhygienic places as a spy. All of those factors has probably helped with my strong immune systems.

        There's been times where I've been sick that it's completely left me bedridden for days, sometimes even a week or two, at a time. Every once in a blue moon, I'd get a common cold or sore throat, but if I can walk, then I can work.

        I figured today must've been one of small common cold days when I woke up with a foul taste in my mouth. You know when you're sick and you have that awful taste when you cough? It's taste like that sour, off-putting taste.

        I ignored the system and buried my head back into my pillow, hearing the annoying alarm shut off thanks to Yuri.

        "(Y/N), it's time to get up." Yuri spoke.

        We've both grown used to this routine now. Yuri spends a good ten minutes trying to drag me out of bed while I lay motionless, purposely ignoring him as I try to go back to bed.

        Today, however, I feel even more tired than usual. It feels awfully hot under these covers and my body feels really sore, almost numb.

        "Come on. Don't start this today! You know we have an important meeting with the Director!" Yuri groaned, getting back on the bed to crawl over to my side and grabbing my arm.

        Right, the meeting with the Director. I'm supposed to go over there and discuss any new information on WISE in correlation to the chase with Winston Wheeler (and Twilight).

        Me and Yuri finally healed up enough to where we can be sent back to work. I was getting real sick of that liquid diet, I never want to have soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner ever again (Yuri can agree with me on this). My broken nose is also healed too so now I can stop wearing that stupid bandage.

        Apparently, there's been a security breach in the SSS's latest website and I'm supposed to narrow down a list of potential suspects that could've caused the breach. I contacted The Handler last night and had her conduct a list of unfortunate Ostanian civilians to place blame on. I don't like having to bring innocent people into such matters, but I don't really have a choice. If the SSS finds out I'm still working with WISE, I'm royally screwed. The work the agents in WISE are given is far too important to sacrifice, so unfortunately I'm going to have to trade in unsuspecting civilians in order to keep the peace between Ostania and Westalis.

        I already know the true perpetuator of who caused that security breach; it was me. I needed information on Winston Wheeler so I hacked into the SSS's security files and emails and got information, then I snuck into city hall and got some public files of Ostanian citizens with the information I learned and was able to identify WISE's mole with just a tad bit of luck. The whole operation almost costed me my head with how I almost got exposed as a WISE agent to Yuri in the sewers along with almost dying to Winston (I'll never say this to her face, but thank God that Nightfall came when she did).

        "Fine, fine..." I groaned, moving my hair out of my eyes and slowly sitting up from my bed.

        I stood up from the bed and felt lightheaded, whiteish-black dots appearing in my vision as my body temperature raised and a nauseous feeling came over me, my ears ringing as I felt the dull thud of myself collapsing onto the carpet.

        I saw nothing for a long time, but a short time as well. I was able to regain my vision and found myself on the floor with Yuri hovering over me.

        Damn, I fainted.

        I've fainted a lot in my lifetime to the point it's probably unhealthy now. Exhaustion, extreme sickness when I'm bedridden, and sometimes even just from changing position too fast or standing in the same position for too long. By now I'm very aware of the symptoms, I just usually believe I can fight through it and continue on (the amount of times I coaxed myself into believing this then fainting afterwards is absolutely foolish of me by now).

        "(Y/N)? Are you okay?" Yuri questioned, a concerned expression on his face.

        "I tripped over my feet." I lied.

        "You sure stayed on the ground for a while. You weren't responding to me." Yuri responded, a bit suspicious.

        "I was hoping you'd leave me alone so I could go back to bed." I lied, again.

        "Seriously? Come on, we've got work to do." Yuri sighed, grabbing my nightgown's sleeve.

        Luckily my sleeve was covering my arm so he wouldn't come into direct-contact with my skin and feel how hot it is.

        "Do we want to cook breakfast or go grab some?" Yuri questioned, lifting me up from the ground with ease, placing me on my feet as I mumbled a "thanks".

        "Let's go out. I don't feel like cooking. I'm still sleepy." I responded, watching as Yuri walked to his closet and grabbed a pair of mundane office clothes.

        "I was thinking the same thing. It'd be quicker too." Yuri commented.

        I inhaled deeply, feeling as though I couldn't breathe through my nose. I still felt light-headed and I feel like I'll topple right over if I take a step forward.

        "Can you choose my clothes today? I don't wanna." I breathed out, crawling back into bed and staying above the covers since it felt too hot to get under them.

        "Don't plan on falling back to sleep. I will drag you into the car with you still in your nightgown if I have to." Yuri grumbled, shooting me a glare but walking to my closet nonetheless.

        He looked through the hanging clothes before grabbing a green sweatshirt and finding a pair of blue jeans on a shelf. He threw the clothes at me as I worked up the energy to get today started.

        "You better be dressed by the time I'm done changing." Yuri emptily-threatened, grabbing his own clothes and walking into the bathroom.

        I huffed, wanting to do anything but get out of bed, yet I decided to listen to him. He's right, today is an important day. It'll help me prove my innocence to the SSS (and I have to make sure I keep Donnie's little trap shut in case he decides to put his two-bits in and expose that I was gone during the whole mole hunt.

        I stood up from the bed, ignoring my wobbly head and aching head as I changed into the clothes Yuri picked out for me. It's funny that even though we're both basically married now (just without throwing a real wedding), we still change in separate rooms. I'm completely fine with that though, it's nice to take things slow.

        I grabbed sock and brown boots and slipped them on, then immediately fell back onto the bed to get at least an extra minute or two of rest.

        Yuri came out and looked at me, crossing his arms as he stared at me with his laser eyes.

        "Are you sure you're okay? Your throat sounds sore. Do you want a cough drop?" Yuri questioned.

        "I'm just really tired." I spoke, adverting eye contact.

        "Should we get coffee too?" Yuri asked, tying his boots on.

        "Yeah, that's a good idea." I nodded, raising my hand up in the air for Yuri to grab.

        He grabbed my hand without question and lifted me off our bed, allowing me to plant my feet back on the ground. I reached for my glasses on the dresser (if you wear any) and grabbed my wallet, shoving it into my pocket.

        "You're really hot." Yuri commented.

        "Thanks." I smiled, still having some energy to mess with Yuri.

        "I meant your skin is hot. Are you really sure you're feeling okay?" Yuri questioned, his concerned expression appearing.

        "I'm fine! I'd tell you if I feel off, so don't worry about it, love." I spoke, giving him a smile in hopes to reassure him.

        His shoulders released some tension, but they still weren't fully relaxed, so he doesn't believe me just yet.

        "I just have a small cold, nothing I can't handle. Now let's go, we still have work to do." I spoke, grabbing his hand and leading him to the door through blurry vision.

        I bumped into the door and huffed, feeling around for the handle.

        "(Y/N), that's a wall. The door is behind us." Yuri pointed out.

        On normal days, he'd chuckle about how much of a dumbass I am, but today he seems really in-tune with my physical state.

        "My vision is still blurry 'cause I'm tired." I spoke, coming up with that stupid excuse on spot.

        "Here, let me help you." Yuri spoke, guiding me over to the bedroom door as he opened it, pushing me through before walking out and closing it behind him.

        "I got the rest." I reassured, taking a few steps forward to go to the front door.

        I stopped once I felt my stomach start to turn and my vision start to blur once more. My ears started ringing and it felt like I was swaying from side to side.

        I took silent deep breaths to calm myself down and hopefully settle my immune system, all while Yuri stood behind me, closely observing me.

        "Are you sick?" he finally questioned.

        "No." I huffed stubbornly, gathering my energy to take another step.

        It was a terrible idea as I immediately fell forward, my body going limp as I couldn't control my feet or hands or anything any longer. Even though I was unconscious, I felt pressure under my head and on my wrist. I saw darkness again and waited for it to pass, before finally regaining my vision once more.

        Yuri had his hand under my head, checking my pulse before making eye contact with me as the waves of blurriness started to fade from my sight. He gave me a look I'd never think I'd get shot my way for fainting, he gave me a scowl.

        "I'm not sick." He taunted in a high-pitched voice.

        "Oi! I don't sound like that!" I huffed.

        "You told me you weren't sick. You said you'd tell me if you were feeling off, you little lying brat." Yuri huffed, moving his hand from under my head and allowing it to hit the ground with a thud!

        "Ow..." I groaned, reaching up and grabbing my head as my head ached, probably a headache forming. "Jerk! I didn't treat you like this when you got sick!"

        "I didn't lie when I got sick!" Yuri retorted.

        "Y-yeah... but..." I paused, thinking of something to say. "Just shut up and help me!" I huffed.

        "You're lucky I'm a nice guy." Yuri muttered, grabbing my hand and picking me up, throwing me over his shoulder.

        He opened our bedroom door and placed me back down on our bed, making sure to keep the covers off me. He walked up to his separate nightstand and picked up the phone, sliding the rotary wheel to his desired digits until he raised the phone up to his ear.

        "Hello, Director? This is Yuri Briar speaking. Me and (Y/N) Briar are going to take the day off, she's terribly sick and I don't trust her to be by herself. We can reschedule the meeting another day?" Yuri spoke

        "Oi! I hear you!" I huffed, throwing a pillow at him (albeit weakly).

        "Yes, that was her. She sounds terrible, huh?" Yuri spoke, now just taunting me.

        "You're a horrible man..." I grumbled.

        "Yes, sir. Thank you so much." Yuri spoke before hanging up the phone. "Looks like you're going to get your shut-eye after all."

        "Thanks, Yuri!" I smiled.

        "Do you think you can stomach anything? Do you want some soup?" he questioned.        

        "Yeah, I guess." I sighed.

        "I'll go make you some. Now, you change into some more lighter clothes so you won't be as hot, then you can go back to sleep." Yuri ordered.

        It really wasn't something I'd fight him on as I nodded, taking the pajamas I was wearing earlier from Yuri's hands. Yuri left the room as I changed, then got back into bed. I closed my eyes (taking off my glasses if needed) and listening to Yuri's command on some shut-eye.

        Yuri woke me up sometime later, gently shaking me awake.

        "Hey, wake up." Yuri spoke, coaxing me to waking up.

        I opened my eyes to see Yuri's face. He picked me up from the bed and took me out and into the dining room, sitting me down on my dining table seat. A bowl of simple broth sat in front of me, something simple that I wouldn't throw up.

        "You can eat on your own, right?" Yuri questioned.

        "Nope." I smiled.

        "Of course..." Yuri grumbled.

        He grabbed his chair and pulled it up close to me, our knees touching as he lifted my chin up and grabbed the spoon.

        "You should keep your distance if you don't want to get sick." I spoke.

        "Don't worry about it. The only time I get sick is when Yor is out of town." Yuri spoke.

        Right, I remember having to take care of him when Yor left a few days for her job at city hall. He's surprisingly easy to take care of since he doesn't talk as much when he's sick due to his aching throat. I thought.

        "Open up." Yuri commanded.

        I didn't put up a fight as I opened my mouth, taking a sip from the spoon.

        "It's pretty good, Yuri." I complimented, opening my mouth for another spoonful.

        "I got the recipe from a cookbook." Yuri admitted, scooping up some more and putting it in my mouth.

        I finished the bowl and thanked him as he picked me up and carried me back to our room, placing me down on the bed.

        "I'll be back. You just hang on a second." Yuri spoke, walking out of the room.

        He came back with a towel and some medication in hand.

        "Do you like medicine?" Yuri questioned.

        "No, who does?" I questioned, looking at him funny.

        "I mean, will you put up a fight?" he questioned.

        "...I mean, I guess not since it's for my health?" I muttered.

        "Good." Yuri smiled, twisting open the cap and pouring the dark red liquid into a small medicine cup.

        He raised the spoon to my mouth as I sighed and opened my mouth, drinking the liquid. It tasted disgusting and I hated every drop of it, but I understood it was for my health.

        "Thank you for taking care of me, Yuri. You didn't have to take the day off too to take care of me, but you did anyways. I appreciate it greatly." I smiled.

        "It's the decent thing to do." Yuri muttered, not taking the gratitude.

        "Don't underestimate your kindness, Yuri. I was just messing with you when I said you're horrible." I admitted.

        "I know that much, dummy." Yuri huffed, flicking my forehead with his finger.

        He pushed my chest for me to lean back on my pillow, then grabbed the cold wet towel and placed it on top of my forehead.

        "Now get some more rest, I'll come check up on you in a bit." Yuri spoke.

        "Thanks again, Yuri. I love you." I smiled, watching as his face started to match his eyes as he covered his mouth with his arm to hide his smile.

        "Whatever... I love you too." He muttered softly, but I could still hear him.

        The whole day Yuri tended to my needs as I got my well-deserved rest. It's nice to finally be able to sleep all day again, the last time I did that was years ago.

        I can't remember the last time I was cared for when being sick. Before the war when I was a kid, I remember being bedridden for three days and being unable to do nothing. My dad was out working and my mom was sleeping because she worked night shifts as a nurse (she was able to find a hospital that allowed married women to work there), so she slept during the day and went to work at night.

        My younger siblings couldn't take care of me because they were too young to have any medical knowledge. My older sister was out collecting rocks and my older brother was out with his friends. Even if they weren't busy, they still wouldn't be able to help me since they've never gotten sick (or at least didn't remember it).

        Even after joining the military and ending up getting the Spanish Flu I wasn't care for. It was actually a miracle I survived it because of my age and size. I must've found a lucky penny or something around that time because I luckily didn't have any severe symptoms, but after seeing all the people dying around me from the illness, I took absolutely no chances to being transported in the crowded nursing tent. I stole a small tent and ran far out into the woods along with a bottle of medicine, eight water bottles, four cans of tomato soup, and a blanket, spending five nights out there before I finally felt better.

        Because I didn't allow myself around any others to worsen my sickness, my Memory T-cells were able to identify and grow an immunity to the disease and I was able to overcome it.

        Even when I became a spy, the first few missions I got sick pretty often because of all the traveling and sight-changes I had to endure, but I soon grew accustomed to the constant change in scenery all around Westalis and Ostania that my immune system was eventually able to get used to it.

        But even then, it's nice to be cared for and pampered. The last time I got fed by someone was when I was two. The last time someone tucked me in for bed was when I was three. I never did have someone make me soup for when I'm sick, or give me a wet towel to place on my head, or even just give me a bottle of medicine.

        Even those the gestures might be small and "what a decent human being does" as Yuri said—it means the world to me. To be swaddled in the warmth of protection and love, something I was once sure I'd never be able to experience again until I met Yuri Briar.

        The ring on my finger isn't just a ring; it's an everlasting vow between two lives now connected through life and death, sickness and health, wealth and poverty. It's a pledge of undying adoration, sincerity, unwavering loyalty, and shelter; all of this for Mr. and Mrs. Briar to share with one another.

        BONUS: Headcannons about Yuri and (Y/N):

        Yuri and (Y/N) have their own seats at the dining table they silently assigned to themselves. Yuri's seat is the closest to the front door, he chose this seat in case (Y/N) ever does try to run away to go back to WISE (in actuality, it's so he can protect her if an intruder ever breaks in from there).

        Believe it or not, Yuri and (Y/N) aren't much of physical lovers. The love languages in their relationship is quality time, acts of service, and (shockingly) words of affirmation.

        (Y/N) can't detect sarcasm despite being sarcastic herself at times.

        (Y/N) used sleeping as a coping mechanism growing up. She used it to escape from reality; the hardships of money and war, deception and betrayal. She slept so much she learned how to lucid dream on her own. Now she sleeps because she's tired often due to work.

        (Y/N)'s always tired no matter how much sleep she gets; 30 minutes to a day. She once slept for 22 hours once and woke up feeling miserable. She slept for twenty minutes while waiting for a target during a mission and still felt like total shit; so no amount of sleep can truly make her feel 100% awake.

        (Y/N) has problems with memorizing people and their names so she focuses on a certain attribute that helps her recognize a person (ex. someone's hair color, the shape of their eyes, their jacket).

        (Y/N)'s memory isn't good either, she'll be in the act of cooking then forget she's cooking and walk away. Yuri now supervises (Y/N) to make sure she doesn't wander off and let the smoke alarm go off again.

        If (Y/N) had the option to go to the past, future, or stay in the present, she would choose staying in the present in a heartbeat. She believes if she goes to the past she might mess something up that would make it so Yuri and (Y/N) never met, and she doesn't want to go to the future in case she discovers something then accidentally messes up the future by going to the present and changes actions that would've led her to something happy in the future to something disastrous instead.

        Yuri's side mission in life is to try to discreetly find out (Y/N)'s favorite flower without being caught. He wants to surprise her but refuses to ask her for the answer. So far it's been a month of trying.

        (Y/N) has absolutely no idea when she's being flirted with by someone other than Yuri because she doesn't believe it's possible that someone could actually have interest in her (she still secretly questions if Yuri's proposal was true or if it was a gig to gain trust for their contract).

        Yuri has memorized every speckle of color in (Y/N)'s eyes because of how often he stares into them. He is a firm believer of giving someone his attention when they're talking with him.

        Yuri does, indeed, like to mess with (Y/N) because he thinks it's cute when she gets frustrated.

        When (Y/N) gave Yuri's mother brownies as an offering he cried in his car the entire time that (Y/N) talked to Yuri's mother. That day was the day Yuri started to lower his guard without even realizing it.

        Even though Yuri and (Y/N) bicker a lot, they're very aware of their true feelings since they always look at each other's eyes when talking (the eye is the window to the soul after all).

        It's a known fact that Yuri and (Y/N) always work with each other at the SSS. They help each other with listening to bugged rooms, Yuri listens and (Y/N) writes. Whenever they do interrogations, they're always in the room with each other in case one of the interrogators decide to get hostile. During raids, (Y/N) prefers to be lookout while Yuri heads into action. Even though (Y/N) doesn't like Yuri fighting with the possibility of getting injured or possibly even killed, (Y/N) doesn't like fighting up close due to the hostility she experienced in the military (the same applies with guns due to this).

        Yuri learned about (Y/N)'s dislikes towards guns and does his best to get them both out of raids or missions that involve them. He doesn't want to have her forced into a situation that makes her uncomfortable or feel threatened.

        Yuri and (Y/N) have come to the comprise that Yuri cleans and (Y/N) cooks after Yuri complained a lot about (Y/N) doing all the housework. Yuri doesn't like the thought of using (Y/N) like that, even if they live in the 1950's.

        As previously mentioned in this fic, (Y/N) got the Spanish Flu. She got the Spanish Flu by walking into the nursing tent to bring a sick comrade in. While she was in there, she saw someone have a terrible reaction to the vaccine they were given, foaming through their mouth and blood pouring out of their eyes and nose, that started her intense fear of needles (want to know how Yuri helps? Check out this fanfic along with the head cannons in it!)

        Yuri and (Y/N) like watching sci-fi movies and debating whether the events could one day be true or not. These debates get very heated, logical, and serious; some are still ongoing to this day.

        Yuri's ([Y/N]'s really) teddy bear (teddy bear is introduced in the Yuri Briar x Fem! Spy! Reader series, part 9) is named Graham Cracker because of the fur's color (Yes, [Y/N] named it).

        (Y/N) once had a dream of being an astronaut because she loved the stars so much. Now, she's not exactly sure what she wants to be career-wise, but she wants to be truly happy and have an ordinary life (which means ditching the SSS and WISE).

        Yuri once took (Y/N) out on a roadtrip to go to a space museum out of Ostania. In the middle of the night he stopped the car on a hill and prompted (Y/N) out of the car and pointed up at the stars. Yuri's mind has the image of her stargazing engraved in his mind. (Y/N) had never seen as much stars as she did then and she started crying hysterically because it was the most considerate and romantic thing anyone had ever done for her. Yuri now takes (Y/N) out to see the stars at the same hill at least once a month.

        Sometimes Yuri goes on complete rambles about Yor, specific adventures he had during missions, some biology facts he remembers from school, or even just Ostanian politics and (Y/N) would look at him with the world's brightest eyes and soft smile. Once he notices, his voice becomes softer and he stumbles over his wording a lot. (Y/N) will bring him back to with a soft "go on, love" despite hearing this subject hundreds of times before, and it'll officially explode Yuri's mind and heart.

        (Y/N) got Yuri into Frank Sinatra and Doris Day songs. Yuri's mood could be terrible but if he hears any one of their songs he'll immediately start cheering up because of the memories their songs bring. His favorite is "Fly Me to the Moon" from Frank Sinatra and "It's Magic" from Doris Day. (Y/N)'s favorites are "Blue Moon" from Frank Sinatra and "Dream a Little Dream of Me" from Doris Day.

        (Y/N) absolutely loves Christmas music. She loves decorating the apartment with festive lights and baking holiday foods. Yuri used to be indifferent about the holidays but now he can't wait for the next Christmas because of the first Christmas they spent with each other and the Forger family.

        (Y/N) was given the code name "Vixen" because of how she lured and deceived others. She stuck to using her looks as a form of deception since she had a hard time switching personalities due to her morals and how opinionated she is.

        (Y/N) hates receives gifts because it feels like she's indirectly using someone for money, being too needy, and now has a debt she needs to pay.

        (Y/N) and Yor meet up every weekend after work to talk about work, their family, and get to know each other better since they're in-laws. (Y/N) still finds Yor scary, but now she's determined to protect Yuri because of how kind-hearted and nurturing she is. (Y/N) makes sure to walk Yor home so Yor doesn't get into any danger (unbeknownst to [Y/N], Yor is the true danger).

        (Y/N) meets up with Camila and Yor once a month to teach Yor a new recipe. It's a really good bonding experience and it gives (Y/N) a healthy amount of social interaction without having to try and lie to anyone for ulterior motives. (Y/N) loves being able to call therm her friends since growing up she didn’t have any (that are still alive, that is. Twilight and Franky are like brothers).

Thank you so much for requesting! I love writing for Yuri, especially because of how dry the Yuri train is on Tumblr.

Want more Yuri content? Check out the Yuri Briar x Fem! Spy! reader series: An Alliance! Or perhaps something short and sweet? Check out another adored request WITH more head cannons!

        Have any other requests? Check my masterlist to see the characters I write for: Masterlist

[catbountry]

One of these days I'm gonna get completely zonked and write out an entire fucking essay on why Mister Metokur sucks and I don't like him, but I feel like I could just say "he kickstarted the internet dumpster fire that was GamerGate" and have justified my position completely.

So fucking tired of orbiting communities that talk about internet weirdos/drama and seeing creators kiss the fucking ring of some guy just because he's got a voice for radio and surrounds himself with people who are stupider than he is so he can toss them aside as soon as they inevitably do some stupid bullshit that he can make fun of and feel justified in doing so, like Sargon of Akkad and Ethan Ralph, all while lamenting that internet culture has changed since the 2000's and people on the internet like furries now more than they like otaku.

Oh yeah and he's using James Somerton's suicide note as an opportunity to expose Hbomberguy for shit he did nearly two decades ago and shame him for "troll's remorse." If I didn't highly suspect that this is another ploy by James to manipulate people into feeling sorry for him, I'd probably be more disgusted, but it proves this man just operates on pure spite. Like yeah, I get it, overly-performative troll's remorse is fucking cringe, but you're on a podcast with Null making jokes about "stinkditches" and saying unambiguously racist shit while laughing (in a video conveniently deleted from YouTube from September 17th, 2022). And if it weren't for Jim's army of asskissers, I'd probably be way more open about this sort of thing. But who's even reading my Tumblr at this point anyway?

The first time I remember being alarmed by him was that video he did on that creepy pedo who looked at photos of kids in bathtubs, and he was in a call with this guy and some girl said pedo was friends with, and Jim lost his patience and called her a "hole" and to shut up. People kiss Metokur's ass over this video. I don't even know if any action, criminal or otherwise, was taken against the dude and it was just an exercise in lording not being a pedophile over some deeply disturbed guy who probably had some kind of mental disability.

I am pretty much always going to have a fixation on strange internet people, internet drama, and horrifying nightmare people given unrestricted internet access. This is a character flaw of mine. I have tried to view these people more fairly in recent years, though to be honest, there's quite a few of them that are pretty goddamn hard to feel sorry for. But I also recognize a lot of my fascination was probably, at least partially, trollshielding; if I join in with the people making fun of these people, that means I won't be a target. It was a survival strategy learned from childhood and I'm not proud of it. But I also can't do the full troll's remorse because some of those people I talked shit about really were awful people. That doesn't make it okay when I would be snarky and judgemental towards people that didn't deserve it. Trying to stop a pedophile or helping shed light on a zoosadism ring doesn't make you a good person because even bigots hate pedos and people that torture animals. Congratulations on having the faintest resemblance of a conscience, it'd be nice if you could show that same outrage on behalf of black people and trans women. But we know you ain't doin' that.

Also I swear to god if somebody refers to him as "daddy Jim" and they're not taking the piss I'm gonna give them such a pinch.

P.S. James is very likely alive, btw. Who could have seen the serial liar and manipulator telling lies and emotionally manipulating people?

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

Character voice

Thanks @elsie-writes here, @willtheweaver here, @mk-writes-stuff here and here, and @illarian-rambling here!

Rules: rewrite the given line in your characters' voices

Got long, under the cut

“Are you okay?”

Lexi: "Omigosh are you okay? What happened???" [Probably panicking herself]

Maddie: *squints, tilts head* "What's wrong with you?" (Genuine worry)

Ash: *tries to read them telepathically* "You're upset. Why?"

Gwen: "Hey, are you feeling alright?"

Robbie: *clears throat* "You good dude? Been worried about you."

Akash: "Are you okay? Been worried, man."

Jedi: "Are you feeling alright?"

Carmen: *pretends she doesn't care, even when she does* "What happened?!"

“I overslept!”

Lexi: "WHAT?! What time is it?? Oh no oh no oh no I overslept my alarm! How is that possible?! Now I'm gonna be late oh no --"

Maddie: "Hm? It's [time]? Hm. Overslept I guess."

Ash: "Wow. I was more tired than I thought."

Gwen: "Oh, no, I overslept!! Guess I have to go to bed earlier or set more alarms next time."

Robbie: "What time is it?! Huh. Guess I needed the rest."

Akash: "There's no way I overslept--guess I didn't set my alarm. *Checks* I did?! Oh no, what are they going to think?!"

Jedi: "I overslept? Oh, dear, this never happens... I rarely sleep as is."

Carmen: "Did someone turn off my alarm? Change it?? There's no way I forgot to set it or slept through it. I don't do that. I don't need the sleep. I made sure I got my schedule working to get the maximum amount of work done. And now, I won't be able to do everything today." (This may continue)

“No, I don't want to eat that [insert food]!”

Lexi: "No, thank you. I'd rather not eat that. I ate too much already, and am full. Also not the hugest fan of it--it isn't your cooking."

Maddie: "I don't like that food. The texture is all wrong."

Ash: "I don't want to eat this--I don't care for it."

Gwen: "Sorry, not that hungry for it. Thank you for offering, though."

Robbie: "Nah. Not in the mood. Thanks, though."

Akash: "I, uh, hate to disappoint you, but I don't like this food. Nothing to do with you or your cooking abilities, it's all me."

Jedi: "Thank you for considering me when offering this, but I am afraid I am not fond of this particular dish."

Carmen: "Ugh, it's disgusting, I'm not eating it."

"That is the ugliest thing I have ever seen someone wear."

Lexi: "Oh... Um, here's the thing: I think we can do better. With the outfit. It's, like, cute and all in a... Unique way. Grotesque maybe. It's the color, I think. We can fix it though! I'll help."

Maddie: "What are you wearing? Are you going to the town in that old Dr. Seuss movie? Or like a Star Trek vacation spot?" *Grins at joke*

Ash: "Why would you wear that? It doesn't really look good."

Gwen: "Oh wow. Um. Sorry, I--your outfit. It's... Interesting. Haven't really seen anything like it."

Robbie: "Oh my GOD! Sorry. Your outfit just took me by surprise. It's...dude, I can't -- it's awful. For your sake, please go change?"

Akash: "Um..." *runs hand through hair* "Look, buddy, I love you, but *grimaces* I think you can do better. Frankly, it's not good. It's...bad? For you. How about I help you pick out something that's more...you?"

Jedi: (silent for several moments) "That is certainly a very interesting choice of fashion. I have certainly not seen anything quite like it, that's for certain."

Carmen: "What in the world made you get into that - it's hideous. Never seen anything worse in fact."

Bonus for this one, because I have a couple specific fashion oriented characters I wanted to react to this--

Rose: *several seconds of panicked crisis* "Okay, we can make this work. Let's spruce up this outfit."

Alex: "Oh honey...darling. Babe. Sweetie. Treasure. Sweetheart. Sunshine. Baby. I'm running out of synonyms. We need to help your look. It's not that good."

Sam: "...this is weird for me, I usually have something to say here. Well, uh, that outfit isn't working for you. Sorry. Don't want to hurt your feelings. But I think your feelings might be more hurt by others. You're glad you're with me. I'll help you."

Niri: *several seconds of contemplating what to say, if anything, he can't talk, he has an excuse, but oh no they're expecting a response, any longer and he will be rude!!!* (hesitant signing): "I don't want to be rude, but I...don't like it. Sorry. Do you want me to help you? I'm good with fashion."

"I hope you stub your toe."

Lexi: "Y'know what? I wouldn't care if you stubbed your toe." (She thinks this is an insult)

Maddie: "I really hope you stub your toe. Cause that hurts. A lot. You've done it before, right? It's bad."

Ash: "Leave me alone and go stub your toe."

Gwen: "You're such a rude person - I hope you run into something and stub your pinky toe. Maybe that will teach you." (Akash: Gwen, babe, how would that teach them? Gwen: I don't know, it sounded better in my head.)

Robbie: "You wanna know what I think about you, Jason? You're a pompous prick bus stop. And the next time you turn a corner, I hope you slam your tiny toe right out of the joint. God, that's painful. And maybe you can get the nail caught on something too. And I hope someone wearing shoes steps on your bare toes as well. And I also hope--" *Akash probably pulls him away*

Akash: *gets as close as possible* "Why don't you go stub your toe or something. I hear that it hurts."

Jedi: "If you were to stub your toe, I will not make a promise to not enjoy it."

Carmen: "I cannot describe how much I want you to STUB YOUR TOE RIGHT NOW!"

Woo, that was a lot!

Tagging @foyle-writes-things @drchenquill @monstrouswrites @mysticstarlightduck @talesofsorrowandofruin @sleepyowlwrites @sleepywriter00 @sarandipitywrites @theeccentricraven @leahnardo-da-veggie + anyone else!

Y'all's sentence is, "Is anyone going to drink this?"

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

[munchmemes]

bob’s burgers sentence starters ( season 2 edition )

❛  this is why i'm only friends with women. ❛  [NAME], honey, it's pretty obvious they're not into you. and i'm usually not that good at picking up vibes. ❛  ironic detachment is great. nothing means anything! ❛  what, do you work for the phone company now? [NAME]'s phone company? ❛  what, are you going to beat me up? ❛  we're about to die, [NAME]! do you really want your last words to be sarcastic? ❛  if i'm gonna die, i'm gonna play Aqua Boogie one last time! ❛  put it on a t-shirt, [NAME], i don't want to hear it. ❛  maybe the journey was the treasure. ❛  what does 'past due' even mean, you know? ❛  it's brilliant! there's no such thing as time. ❛  come back safe, [NAME]. don't leave me with these frigging people. ❛  it looks like a huge, misshapen penis. ❛  i am so glad you joined the group, [NAME]. ❛  if you make it out of there, i will do anything. anything you want. except that one thing. ❛  everything's on the table, including on the table. ❛  oh, don't tsk me. ❛  you'll eat anything. ❛  don't you make noises at me, you judge-a-roo. ❛  so, let's talk synchronized swimming. ❛  what do you expect? you coddle them too much. ❛  i'm not gonna coddle them this time. i'm gonna get real tough. ❛  it's chocolate. it tastes like chocolate tastes. ❛  you're my best friend. ❛  it's nice to have you back. ❛  i accept your apology and i will help you. i will help you by not helping you. ❛  what just happened here? why is everyone smiling and not helping? ❛  we can fake our way through this. ❛  we're at a swimming pool. this is the safest place to be during a fire. ❛  false alarm. everything is fine. ❛  oh! now i'm hungry for chilli! ❛  call me next time you find something that you think you're good at. ❛  it's not called a peeing race. it's called a pissing contest. ❛  was it obvious i don't care? ❛  look at me, it's an intervention. you have a problem. ❛  i'm not leaving any stone unturned. they're all gonna be turned! all the stones! ❛  oh, i love secrets! tell me! ❛  i've got a better idea. you know what's free? Loading. ❛  do you mind? you're kinda crowding me. ❛  video games and drugs, those two things don't mix. ❛  i'm not a nerd. i'm a video game enthusiast. ❛  i'm calling it. this party's dead. ❛  unleash the beast! no mercy! ❛  fantastic! not my problem! ❛  i wish i'd met you sooner. i wonder what you looked like fifteen minutes okay.

❛  if we were gonna have to be banned for life from someplace, i'm glad it's there. ❛  plan b, [NAME]! i'm slashing tires! ❛  [NAME], use our code names! ❛  isn't it funny how much more i know than you? ❛  drunk people like hamburgers, it's not science. ❛  ugh, you were right. it's not subtle. ❛  i'm gonna throw a falafel at them. ❛  i don't wanna die a virgin! ❛  it's not a lie if you lie to vegetarians. ❛  what about your road rage, [NAME]? it's not very good! ❛  see? i knew it was funny. ❛  let's play the quiet game until we get back. ❛  guess who's on new meds! ❛  wait, i brought gifts! i picked them out at a truck stop. ❛  according to my calculations, you're next! ❛  time for the charm bomb to explode. ❛  i hate that parrot. ❛  you know what, take off your cranky pants and go take a nap. ❛  i hate signing birthday cards. ❛  if this fails, i'm gonna kill myself. ❛  [NAME], you've taken them hostage? ❛  from now on, i will only dumpsack them when i'm in the neighbourhood. but you took the fun out of it. ❛  i'm still so nervous the cops are gonna show up. ❛  well, if the cops come, we need a plan. ❛  don't have a crap attack. ❛  okay, fine. but i'm gonna complain the whole time. ❛  that'll cost a fortune! we have a terrible data plan! ❛  i don't get drunk. i just have fun. ❛  don't be such a boob punch. ❛  it's not fun for everyone, [NAME]. ❛  messing with [NAME] is a privilege, not a right! ❛  just be yourself and [NAME] can go sit in syrup. let the bees get them. ❛  put some clothes on! leave something to the imagination for god's sake! ❛  notice me! ❛  it got a little weird at the end but you get the idea. ❛  i smell fear on you. ❛  i don't know about you but that is certainly some of the cutest baby panda footage i've ever seen. ❛  in this country, no backsies means something. ❛  fame tears families apart. ❛  are you not entertained?! ❛  it stinks in here. ❛  you're supposed to love each other, not kill each other! this isn't the bible! ❛  those aren't curse words.