#but idk what i'd be like if i didn't move here in the states

[altrxisme]

//

[kingkat12]

seven minutes in hell (roman godfrey x reader)

WARNINGS: 18+, public sex(??), voyeurism, emotional extortion (Roman is such an ass omg), groping, foul language, smoking, angst, mentions of sex

summary: after you made out with Roman during a game of seven minutes in heaven, he insists that you owe him for not telling Letha about it-- how can someone so beautiful be so evil?

word count: 8,192 (yes I know lol)

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8

a/n: after having my inbox flooded w sweethearts asking for a part two, here you go!! I do advise new readers to read the first one before this, because idk how much sense this is going to make without it lol, but enjoy!!<33

Paranoia. That was the only word that could describe the week that followed the party where Roman and I had kissed.

I had spent every waking moment wondering when Roman would show up to cash in his debt or prick me with a goddamn needle. His words lingered in my mind, haunting me; "Fine, I'll be nice. But you owe me," The reminder of those words sent a shiver down my spine, and I couldn't help but wonder how I could've been so stupid as to rope myself into something like this.

Roman knew I liked him. In fact, he knew it very well. I couldn't even mask my feelings with hatred anymore, and everything about that made me want to throw myself off a cliff-- that would probably be more merciful than whatever it was that I had in store. 

After we had made out during seven minutes of heaven, I had to tell my best friend, Letha, that nothing had happened. If she found out that I had made out with her cousin, I doubt she'd want to have me hanging around any longer. And quite frankly, Letha was my favourite person in the whole world, so it was detrimental that she stayed close. She was like a ray of sunshine peeking out through heaps of stormy skies; there was no way in hell I'd lose her without a fight.

Which is why I needed to keep Roman in check, along with my body un-pierced by any incoming needles. 

The first time I saw him after the party, was a few days later in the cafeteria at school. I had stopped in my tracks, completely turning to stone as I watched him with his friends. It was almost as though I was afraid he'd see me if I moved, and to my shock, that's exactly what happened-- as I shifted my weight from one foot to another, harshly gripping my tray of food, his eyes landed on me with a quickness that immediately threw me into a state of panic. I bolted with speed I didn't know I had, not stopping until I reached the other end of the school, panting. 

The second time had been at the library. I had been looking for a specific book that was quite old, meaning I had to do a lot of searching-- the librarian had been of no help, of course. As I scoured the shelves of endless books, crouching down to get a look at the lower sections, I suddenly felt a pair of eyes on me from above.

I looked up to find Roman's green eyes staring at me from the other aisle; his height made it ridiculously easy to lean over, having no visual obstruction of my side of the shelf. Something about the smirk playing across his lips made me freeze up-- it felt like I was prey, about to be eaten whole. I let out a squeak of horror as I grabbed the first book I saw, not letting him get a word in before I dashed towards the exit without a second thought.

The third time was the absolute worst; I had been walking down the stairs with Letha, on our way to our shared history class, as we suddenly encountered Roman on his way up. I felt my heart beat against the books I now pressed tightly against my chest, holding my breath as he neared us with a conniving look on his face-- I was quite sure I had lost all the blood in mine.

As Roman and Letha had a conversation about some sort of family dinner later, I did my best to make myself as small as possible; I wondered whether I should slip away into the crowd or just throw myself down the stairs. 

I was quite sure that it was clear to Roman why I was avoiding him, and I was even more sure that it also was amusing to him. It was rather obvious, with the way he obnoxiously eyed me up with a growing grin. "You okay?" he asked, nudging me. "You look spooked."

Asshole. Just the slightest touch was enough to make me flinch, and my words came out in a breathy mumble; "I'm fine," 

Roman nodded, exchanging a look with Letha. He grew taller when he took a step up, inching closer as he leaned over to check which books I had pressed up against my chest. His long, slender fingers reached forward to tug at one of the books to get a better look, and I would've missed the note he slipped down along the front of my history book if I had blinked. As Roman pulled away, dragging his fingers through his hair as though nothing had happened, I held my books as tight to my chest as I possibly could to not let the note slide down to the floor. 

My heart was beating harder than ever as Roman made his way past me, his familiar cologne lingering in my system as Letha and I made it to class five minutes early. As she left to use the bathroom, I could finally put away my things, inhaling a shaky breath as I checked the note;

meet me behind school in an hour, or I tell Letha everything

I couldn't help the groan that escaped me, ripping the piece of paper to shreds. This was not going to end well.

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Somehow, I had managed to pry myself away from Letha for long enough to make it in time for my meeting with Roman. I was tugging at the sleeves of my jumper, anxiously ripping at the fabric. Wondering whether I should've worn protective gear to shield myself from any needle-kinks he might impose on me, I trembled with fear-- I didn't want to see him. 

Despite my wishes, Roman eventually came around the corner, a rather mischievous smirk spread across his soft, pink lips as he neared me. His hands were tucked into his pockets as he leaned against the wall next to me, his green eyes etching themselves into my skull. His usual cardigan was draped around his shoulders and over his white shirt, tied in the front, as he crossed his long legs in the classic Roman Godfrey stance. "I'm glad to see you came,"

"As if I had a choice," I mumbled, glancing at our surroundings, not wanting to be caught alone with him here. I had to do everything in my power not to look at the casual swoop of his hair, not wanting to think about how handsome he looked right now. "What do you want?"

Roman blinked twice, almost as though he had expected me to say something else. "Isn't it obvious?"

I was afraid my heart was pounding audibly in my chest. "No," My gaze darted down to my shoes, kicking away a nearby rock. "Can't we just forget any of it ever happened?"

"Well, that was sort of the draft of the original plan," Roman said, shrugging. "But you've clearly not been able to forget it, with the way you've been avoiding me for a week now... So it seems we have to resolve this, somehow."

Did this mean that I had only made things worse for myself? I wanted to hit my head against the wall and bleed out-- that would probably feel better than what I was feeling on the inside right now. "The actual kiss hasn't been on my mind much... Mostly just the needles,"

Roman let out a huff-- was it a laugh? "I'm not going to fucking poke you, could you calm down about that?"

"I can't be sure when it comes to you, Roman!--"

"So you haven't thought about it?" He cut me off, eyes sparkling with the need to know. "The kiss?"

If I'd had something to throw at him, I would've done so in a heartbeat. Why was he so keen on knowing that? "Not much,"

"Only at night?"

I couldn't even hold back my grimace, listening to him snickering like a proud toddler. "Definitely not," I grumbled, now kicking at another rock. "Why does it matter to you?"

Roman shrugged; "I don't think you understand how intriguing it was to find out you've liked me all this time," He watched as I continued to tug at the sleeve of my sweater, looking like a nervous wreck. The image before him made his grin widen. "You've been the biggest bitch ever, do you know that? I was dead sure you hated my guts until you begged me to fucking kiss you!"

"I didn't beg!" I exclaimed, protesting. "In your fucking dreams, Roman!"

He rolled his eyes, taking a step towards me. Feeling his presence inching closer, I stopped kicking the scattered rocks around me, looking up to meet his gaze.

Roman leaned down, matching himself on the level of my widening eyes. He studied me as I froze to my spot like an icicle, holding my breath to not get swept up in thoughts of how good he smelled and how soft his lips looked up close. "You're still running your mouth," he mumbled,  and I felt his eyes fall on my lips as well. "I thought you might get a little nicer if I complied with your little kiss."

His way of thinking had me furrowing my brows, confused. Was that why he kissed me? A tiny piece of my heart broke, the hope I had buried deep in my gut dissolving. Why had I ever hoped that his reasons for kissing me the way he did had been different? "I'll be nice if you agree that I don't owe you anything anymore. It's been driving me nuts,"

With this, Roman broke out into a rather abrupt laugh; "Are you kidding? There's no way in hell I'd absolve you of that, anymore,"

The laugh felt so damning, I couldn't help but shudder. I was two seconds away from kicking him instead of the rocks. "What do you want, then?"

Roman straightened up, the look on his face giving away that he was debating what to choose. "It's probably not something as bad as you expected it to be," he said, nodding to himself as he no longer met my hard gaze. "I'd just like it if you told me why you like me."

What? I stared up at him in disbelief, lips parting in shock. Had I avoided him like the plague over a simple question? Sure, it wasn't the most comfortable one to answer, but my mind had already concluded that he would stick me with needles like a voodoo doll and leave me for dead on a road somewhere.  "Uh... Could I ask why?"

"Nope,"

I nodded; "Okay...?" Clearing my throat, I pondered where to start. I hadn't actually thought about this question, and I had to scour my brain for the answer. "I don't know," I eventually mumbled. "I guess I just think you're handsome." Saying it out loud physically pained me, but I knew I had to get this over with.

Roman blinked twice, meeting my gaze with a rather empty look about him. "That's it?"

"I don't know? I think so," I shrugged, searching through my mind for more. "You're my type, I suppose. Tall, brown hair, green eyes... And unattainable. I guess that a part of me likes that you'll never like me back." Saying this out loud, however, was even worse. I hadn't thought about it like that up until this moment.

Roman seemed even more confused than I did. "So it was nothing that I did?"

Something told me he was searching for something more meaningful, but I had always known that my crush was superficial. "I don't think so..."

What followed would haunt me for days on end; Roman broke out into a rather maniacal laugh, running his hands through his hair in clear denial. "So it's just the same, then," he said in between hiccups of laughter. "It's not about me at all!"

I could only watch as he went into some sort of a mental storm, biting down on his lower lip to suppress the noise. "I don't think you quite understand how it is for no one to like you for you," Roman continued, now pacing back and forth as his trail of words sped up; "You've probably never had that problem, right? Guys probably like you because you're nice to them, I've seen that multiple times. Or that one guy that just hasn't left you alone since you sat together during assembly that one time-- what the fuck was his name?"

I held my breath; what on earth was I witnessing? "Roman, I think you're spiraling, let's just breathe--"

"Daniel, wasn't it?" Roman finally looked back at me, a cramped smile on display along his lips. "He definitely likes you for you, right? Not just because you're cute? That must be fucking nice." 

I had never imagined that I would pity someone for only being liked for their looks. Somehow, I found myself wanting to comfort him, and I had to fight that instinct. "It would probably be easier for you to find something real if you weren't such a prick," I mumbled. "If you didn't tug people's hair, throw stuff at them, or stab them with needles?"

That seemed to be enough for Roman to take a step back from his weird state, his pacing coming to a halt. Something seemed to be dawning on him, a crushing realization that should've come about ten years ago, but instead of taking it like an adult, he retaliated; "Well, you're not exactly doing any better than me! You've liked me for God knows how long, and you've treated me like utter crap!"

"Because you did the same to me!" I said, feeling my voice raise with my emotions. "You've had no interest in me, along with all the bullshit you've pulled all year! Don't you think it would probably be easier for me to like you for who you are if you had been a pleasant person to be around?"

Groaning, Roman turned his back to me, ready to walk away. After taking a few steps, he turned on his heel, facing me once more. Fury was burning in his green, green eyes, fists balling up as he spoke; "This is not over. You tell anyone just a tiny fraction of this conversation, I'll tell Letha I fucked you raw," 

My jaw fell in complete and utter shock as he walked away, cursing myself to the heavens and beyond. How had I managed to make this an even bigger mess than it was before I came? As I went back to kicking rocks, trying to catch my breath, bits of the conversation suddenly came back to me; did he just say that I was cute? That he had seen me with Daniel during assembly, and that he had spotted me talking to my previous flings?

This only made everything furthermore confusing; it was obvious that he didn't like me, either. But what on earth was going on in that brain of his?

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The next time I saw Roman was a few days later in the hallway during rush hour. I had spent several nights tossing and turning, trying to decrypt the conversation that continued to haunt me. The conclusion I arrived at, was that he might be lashing out with the needles and the childish behaviour because he didn't know how else to express interest. 

But then again, that would mean that he was very interested in me. I was sure something was wrong with that conclusion, but I couldn't pinpoint any other possible theory at this moment. I also couldn't shake how upset he looked when he found out my crush was purely superficial; was his need to be seen for who he was so overpowering?

So when I finally flagged him down, Roman was in a rush, and this was rather unfortunate; my legs were much shorter than his, and I had to go into a jog to not lose sight of him. Eventually, I caught up to him, grabbing his wrist and tugging at the sleeve of his shirt to get his attention.

Roman seemed rather confused, glancing down at me with a wild look in his eyes which quickly died out when he saw who it was. "What are you doing?--"

"You smiled at me in class," I confessed, feeling my cheeks redden. "The sun was hitting your eyes in a way that made them extra green, and you smiled at me and handed me a pencil. That's when I knew I liked you." Slowly, I pried my fingers away from his wrist, letting out the breath I didn't know I had been holding. It felt like an enormous weight had lifted off my shoulders, like the anxiety that clung to me had been washed away in a calm stream of water in the mountains.

Why did I feel such strong a need to tell him my crush wasn't purely superficial? That it had stemmed from the simplest act of kindness? I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Did I pity him that much? 

Roman's pupils expanded, and he stood as if glued to his spot. People kept passing us by, but it was as though all the surrounding sound died out. It was clear that his mind was racing, his brows drawing together in confusion-- or was it disgust? I couldn't be sure. Either way, my heart was thumping so hard in my chest that it hurt. 

I cleared my throat; "Have... a nice day," Before he could answer or make fun of me, I turned on my heel and bolted down the hall, knowing my heart wouldn't be able to take it if he shut me down once more. 

I couldn't take any more of this. Clutching my heart as I made it to my locker, I knew I had to get ready for class and that I didn't have time for the crushing feeling taking over my chest. 

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A big part of me had hoped that our last interaction would be the end of it all. That I wouldn't have to owe Roman anything anymore, that he wouldn't be threatening to tell Letha that we kissed or fucked or whatever-- I should've known that was an unattainable reality. 

I was practically falling asleep at the end of a long day of school. Exhausted, I allowed myself to close my eyes as I leaned my head against my palm, elbow at my table, waiting for class to start. A worrying thought popped into my head as I realized that chemistry was the only class I shared with Roman, which meant that he would probably be showing any time soon. 

With a yawn, I blinked several times, hoping to wake up as I sat back in my chair. I was about to do some stretches, but as I turned to my right, I let out a yelp, nearly falling off my seat.

And I would've fallen right down to the floor if Roman hadn't grabbed the edge of my chair, holding me back with one hand as though it was nothing. "Careful, there," 

That's exactly what he had said when we were in that damn closet playing seven minutes in heaven. I shivered, getting a severe case of deja vu as I looked back at him in disbelief. "When on earth did you show up?"

"Right around the time you nodded off," Roman's books were already on the table-- had I genuinely slept for a minute or two? How could I have missed this? He let go of my seat with a snicker, shaking his head; "You're quite the case, aren't you?"

I didn't like the sound of that. "What do you want? Why are you sitting here?"

"Could you relax?" Roman rolled his eyes, his mood worsening by the second. "Look around, Sherlock, there's nowhere else to sit."

It pained me to realize he was right. With a huff, I fought the urge to kick him under the table. As the teacher finally entered the classroom, excusing himself for being a few minutes late, I let out a sigh of relief; I hoped to avoid talking to Roman as much as possible from now on. After I had confessed to him and gotten nothing in return again, I was dead tired of seeing his gorgeous face-- it was physically painful, at this point.

As class started, I reached into my bag to find a pencil. A good minute passed by as I rummaged around, which eventually garnered Roman's attention; he immediately knew what I was looking for. He turned to me with a spare pencil which he had lying about on his table, holding it out in front of me.

Someone up there was definitely playing pranks on me-- I was sure of it now. With an embarrassed smile, I watched as the sun hit the green of his eyes, illuminating them further as I reached for the pencil. The tips of our fingers touched, just for a few seconds, but it felt like I had almost burned myself with how my nerves reacted to the nudge of his hand against mine. 

Roman seemed to understand the irony of the situation, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards into a dizzying look of kindness. 

There it was. The root of all my problems-- the simplest act of warmth along with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. The bullshit that started it all. 

I hummed to myself as I broke eye contact, crouching over my table to start taking notes, desperate to distract myself. Every fibre of my being felt like it was buzzing with electricity, unable to calm down. 

It didn't take long before Roman shoved a small note onto my part of the table. I gave him a look before I opened it, sighing.

we need to talk. meet me by my car after school

Turning to Roman, I couldn't help but glare; this again? But his smirk melted me in more ways than one, and I knew that it could have consequences if I didn't go. 

Fuck.

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I waited until there were almost no cars in the parking lot in front of the school, hiding away in the library in the meantime. I didn't exactly want to be seen talking to him. As I finally walked out past the front entrance, I held my breath as I spotted Roman leaning against his red jaguar, typing away on his phone. I wondered who he was texting-- was it Brooke from the cheerleading team? No, it couldn't be; unless she still wanted to be with him after he pricked her with the legendary needle.

It didn't take long for Roman to put away his phone, watching me as I neared him. Something about the way his hair lay in waves over his forehead made him look like even more of a heartbreaker than he already was. "Long time no see, hm?"

I didn't even want to fake being entertained by that-- we both knew that we'd seen each other in class less than twenty minutes ago. "What do you want?"

Roman rolled his eyes; "Can't you at least act like you like me? We both know you do,"

Something about being called out like that didn't sit right with me, but I swallowed my curses. I had to be on his good side, after all, so that he wouldn't turn around and tell Letha what had happened between us. "Did you want me to come skipping down the stairs and run to you?" I asked, getting a good look at him. "Or maybe a blowjob before I bake you a pie?"

A humoured smirk spread across his lips, giving in to a chuckle. "You could at least start by standing a little closer?" Roman put his hands up in the air as though he was surrendering; "Look ma, no needles!"

I huffed, complying. I took a few steps forward, watching the last car leave in my peripheral view. It was definitely not a good idea to be alone with him like this-- I should've known better. 

This didn't seem to be enough for Roman, who proceeded to tap the spot next to him on the hood of his car. 

I groaned; "Roman, come on--"

In a swift motion, he hooked his fingers inside my front pockets, dragging me forward as I yelped. Roman grabbed my hips, forcing me down on the car with a soft thud. With wide eyes, I turned to him, watching his hands disappear back into his pockets. 

"You're infuriating," Roman mumbled under his breath, fishing out a pack of cigarettes from his right pocket. He held it out in front of me; "Want one?"

Honestly, I had only smoked once. It had resulted in me coughing up what felt like half a lung. "No, thanks," 

He shrugged, lighting up a cigarette as he hummed. This little dance around why he had told me to come made me further nervous, once again reaching for the sleeve of my sweater, tugging at the seams that had come loose. The smell of nicotine infiltrated my nose, and I turned to him just in time to watch him exhale a few rings of smoke, eyes transfixed on them as they evaporated into thin air. 

Finally, Roman spoke up; "I'm calling for a truce,"

What? My eyes widened, scanning him for lies. "... What's the catch?"

Roman turned to me, a slight smile splayed across his lips. "You know me too well," he said, chuckling as a light breeze passed us. "I want us to play a game, and then all is forgotten."

"Oh no," I blurted out. "What kind of game, Roman? Can't you take pity on me just once?--"

I immediately shut up as I felt his arm wrap around me, holding out his cigarette in front of my mouth between his fingers. I wasn't about to start fighting him in an empty parking lot, so I parted my lips, accepting the cigarette despite knowing I would cough up everything I had eaten for lunch if I inhaled properly. 

Roman's face was suddenly very close to mine; "Ever heard of this game... Wait, what was it called? Seven minutes in hell?"

For fuck's sake. I watched as he laughed, amused by his joke. Still, my eyes darted down to his bouncing leg, watching as he gave away a sliver of nervousness. I reached for the cigarette, getting it out of my mouth; "Sounds about right," Balancing it between my fingers, holding it out in front of his mouth just as he had done to me, Roman hummed as he wrapped his lips around the cigarette, taking a puff.

Before Roman could take it back into his hand, I pulled the cigarette away from him, putting it back into my mouth. Something about sharing the cigarette was making a familiar ache between my legs throb, which in turn made me cross my legs. I didn't inhale the smoke into my lungs, keeping it in my mouth before breathing it out, knowing it was hard to differentiate between that and the real thing. "Where would we play?" I eventually said, glancing at him.

Now that we were sitting like this, Roman's arm around me, I realized we hadn't been this close since that party where we had kissed. Something about his embrace was comforting, despite me knowing that he was doing it to take the piss out of me. However, my steadfast belief in his reasons became shaky as I met his eyes, watching how unusually big his pupils were as he looked down at me, a certain calmness about him. "My car?"

I couldn't help but giggle as I handed him the cigarette, our fingers meeting in the exchange. "I'm not making out with you in your car,"

"Why not?"

"Every single cheerleader slut at this school has been in the back of that thing," 

Roman shrugged; "Not everyone. Eleven out of fifteen,"

"Ew, you're not making it any better!--"

"Fine!" he huffed, giving me a squeeze with the arm he had around me. Roman put out his cigarette by throwing it to the ground, giving it a proper stomp before he turned to me, a mischievous smirk on display. "No one has been in the front, though."

It was hard to say no when he looked at me like this; how was it possible for someone so conniving to be so beautiful? I had to look away from Roman-- it was getting impossible to breathe. Tugging at my sleeves once more, I realized I had ripped out a new seam. "Look, I have to say I'm a little confused... You're not even into me, so I don't get why you'd want to kiss me again," I let go of my sweater, realizing I would probably manage to rip it all apart if I didn't calm down. "It really is a power thing for you, isn't it?"

Roman hummed, rubbing my arm in a soothing manner as he stared out at the parking lot with a rather hollow look in his eyes. "Yeah... That's definitely what it is,"

I didn't have time to wonder why he didn't sound so convinced. As I dared to look at him again, I watched him lost in thought, pondering something. I took that as my cue to get out of playing his game; "Making out would probably be fun and all, but don't you think it is more beneficial for you if we maybe got to... I don't know, know each other?"

Confused, Roman's gaze darted back to me. "Why?"

"You seemed to be a little upset that I didn't like you because of you, remember?" I gave him a playful nudge, drawing forth a smile. "Instead of imposing your weird dominance kink or whatever it is on me, wouldn't you want to prove that there's more to you?"

This seemed to strike a chord with Roman, who slowly started to nod in approval. "That... doesn't sound so bad,"

I damn right hoped so-- I let out a shaky breath, relieved to not become the twelfth girl to end up in Roman's car.

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I couldn't believe that I had managed to fix myself up with a date with the Roman Godfrey. He was practically known for never going out on dates with anyone, but here I was, running around my room trying to find something nice to wear.

However, there was one tiny hoop I had to get through-- Letha was on speaker phone as I rummaged through my drawers, and my heart was racing as I tried to avoid her questions."I still don't get why you can't hang out today!" Letha whined, clearly upset with me. "I thought you were going to help me pick out some shoes down at the sale!"

I grimaced, feeling like the biggest prick on the planet. "I'm sorry, Letha, I'm just not feeling too good..." With a heavy heart, I could hear her sulk on the other end as I finally found the perfect bag. 

"I've barely seen you this week... You've been so jumpy, I just feel like you're avoiding me. Did I do something?"

No, no! I was about to protest until I heard a sound coming from my driveway; I made my way to my window, glancing down at Roman's red car, watching as he parked. Clearing my throat, I rushed to my phone; "Letha, I'm so fucking nauseous, I think I need to throw up... I'm so sorry, could I call you back later?"

I heard her sigh; "Get better soon, okay?--"

As Roman started honking outside, clearly impatient, I had to leave the call without even saying goodbye. Groaning, I gathered my stuff, making my way down the stairs and outside with hurried steps. "Stop that!" I said, trying to steady my breathing as I approached the car. "My parents are inside!"

"So what?" Roman's cocky smirk was on display as always, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. "Whatever dumb fuck told you I'm a patient man, is a dumb fuck." Roman got out of his car to open my door on the other side. It was nice to see that he had a gentleman bone in him-- it gave me hope that this date wouldn't crash and burn. 

And weirdly enough, it actually went quite well. I had been worried that he'd take me out shooting or whatever it was that he did in his free time, but Roman settled for something simple-- we were currently sat in my favourite café in the city, having the most normal conversation we'd ever had. 

"You're kidding me?" Roman said, putting down his coffee with a look of shock on his face. "You've never seen The Godfather?"

I couldn't help but huff-- this was a solid reminder that he still was a guy at the end of the day. "I haven't gotten to it, I guess,"

"Well, you have to!" He ran his fingers through his styled hair, shaking his head in disapproval. Roman was wearing a different shirt today that I hadn't seen before, and I was getting the feeling that he had actually dressed up a bit despite how casual this date was. "What else haven't you seen?" 

"Uh, I don't know?--"

"What else haven't you done, is probably a better question," Roman was grinning from ear to ear now, eyes sparkling in anticipation. "First kiss?"

"David Parker, eighth grade," I put down my milkshake with a smirk, happy to be sizing him up. "You?"

Roman seemed beyond amused; "Amanda Reiley, sixth," He leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table, intrigued that I wasn't backing down from his intrusive questions. "First time?"

I had to suppress a cough, feeling as though I was choking on air. There was no way in hell I'd tell him I hadn't had sex yet. "... Some guy I met on vacation last year in Greece, don't remember his name,"

"Really, now?" Roman hummed, leaning back against his chair. "Not buying it. You squirm like a virgin every time I look at you."

My breath caught in my throat-- "Pardon?"

It seemed that my reaction only amused him, but he still spared me by brushing over it. "My first time was with Denise Campbell, ninth grade. Was really sweet, actually,"

I tried to shake off the fact that Roman had been right in his deductions. The story of his first time was unexpected, and he had been quite young-- concerningly young. "Roman Godfrey and sweet don't usually go together, in my book. Did you light candles or something?" I took a sip of my milkshake, watching him break out into a smile. 

"Honestly? I think she lit one," he said, a soft chuckle following.

 I had forgotten how beautiful his laugh was. Flustered, I put away my milkshake, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear as I met his gorgeous, green eyes. There was a calmness about him now, something I had trouble getting used to. It was a big contrast to the way he had looked at me while we played seven minutes in heaven, or the way he had been looking at me the whole week I had avoided him. The usual feeling of unease that crept up my system whenever he was around was long gone-- it was almost as though we were friends. 

Nervous about my next question, I started picking at my nails; "So where did it go wrong?"

"Pardon?"

I didn't meet his gaze anymore. "When did it become casual to you?"

"Sex?"

"Sex,"

Roman hummed, taking a rather long sip of coffee. I wondered whether I had gone too far with the question, but he didn't seem fazed. "Didn't get too far with being sweet, I suppose,"

This was definitely a chapter in Roman's life that I hadn't expected to hear about-- who had broken his heart? And why was it comforting to know that he'd had that experience? Something about it made him more human. "That's sad," I mumbled, forcing myself to leave my nails alone. "Sweet usually gets you quite far."

Something about that seemed to intrigue him; he moved to the edge of his chair, closer. "Don't you girls usually like the bad guys? That seems to work well, in my experience,"

I shrugged; "It can be fun for a week or two. Any longer than that, and your heart starts to tire,"

"Ah," was all Roman said, tapping his fingers against the table in an impatient manner. "Would you want to get ice cream? It's on me."

This conversation was starting to give me whiplash. "I'm sold," I eventually answered, shooting him a smile. It was nice to know that he wanted to continue the date despite my intrusive questions-- I couldn't lie; I was rather enjoying myself. And my ego was getting the biggest inflation it'd had in a while, remembering he didn't usually go out on dates at all.

About half an hour later, we were now walking down the street with our ice cream, once again debating why I hadn't watched The Godfather-- boys really love that movie, don't they? I took the liberty of looking up at him as he explained the plot to me in excessive detail, watching his hands flail around in excitement as he spoke, eyes round and green, and the way a single strand of hair lay in front of his eyes, straying from his stylings.

The man I had hated this whole year suddenly became a person to me. A person with interests, quirks, and feelings-- weirdly enough. Roman didn't come off as a spoiled brat right now, and I could barely remember a time when I would run away from him and his needles. Like this, I could imagine sweet moments with Roman, possibly even holding his hand as we walked down this street, doing normal stuff together. 

In another lifetime, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.

However, I was quickly yanked out of my daydreams when I spotted a familiar figure leaving the shoe store across the street. With a panicked yelp, I grabbed Roman, dragging him down the nearest alleyway as I felt my blood run cold. 

Roman looked beyond confused; "What are you?--"

"Letha!" 

His mouth formed an 'o', watching me press myself up against the wall. "She doesn't know?"

I shook my head, letting out a shaky breath. This was definitely not what I needed right now. If she found out I was here with Roman and that I had lied to her, I was sure she'd have my head. Why couldn't I just melt into the wall and become immaterial? 

With ease and calm, Roman grabbed my finished ice cream, putting it down on the ground along with his own before nearing me. "We'll wait it out,"

What? "Thought you were ready to rat me out?" I leaned forward, glancing past the corner of the alley, making sure Letha hadn't seen us. 

"Well..." Roman put his hand on my shoulder, guiding my back to the wall once more. "I know she'd kill you, and you can't die before watching The Godfather."

Had I not been preoccupied with being quiet, I would've groaned right in his cocky face. The hand he had on my shoulder burned against my skin, and I was getting flashbacks to our time in the closet at the party where we had kissed. "I've repaid my debt to you now, anyway," I mumbled, warily glancing past the edge of the corner where we were standing, watching Letha from afar. 

Roman's hand on my shoulder quickly made its way into my hair, fingers twisting themselves into the nape of my neck, forcing me to face him. I let my breath escape me as my lips parted, watching him with big, wide eyes; what was happening? It was at this moment that I realized how close he was standing, how he was practically pressed up against me.

There was something sinister about the look on Roman's face-- it suddenly dawned on me that he was still the same person, even though he had buried this side of him for a few hours. He would always thrive when seeing someone in an anxious state, feel joy at any visible conflict or misery, and it dawned on me how bad of a situation this was when his next words came out in a dangerous whisper; "I could just call her over here, do you know that?" Roman's grip on my hair tightened, almost enough to make me wince. "You've made quite a mess of yourself, sneaking behind her back. I could ruin you in a second."

"You won't, though," Fucker.

Intrigued, Roman's green eyes sparkled; "And why are you so sure of that?"

My chest was heaving against him, hating every second, every minute of this encounter. When had he turned into such a sadist? Was it after Denise Campbell in ninth grade? I wanted to make sure I asked him that next time. "Because this gets you high," I hissed. "This feeling that you get from watching me get scared? You're addicted. You're a fucking junkie." 

I felt Roman breathe out against my lips, leaning closer, eyes burning into mine. I could see the flickering flames in them, and I knew that I had set them alight-- I was quite literally playing with fire at this point. "Well, this is who I am," he said through gritted teeth. "Do you get it now?"

"Get what?"

"Why no one likes me," Now, the fire died out, turning into an unintelligible emotion swimming in the green of his eyes. I didn't need to be a specialist to understand that he was baring his coping mechanism for me to see. "Why no one ever will. And why you will go back to hating me once we're done here."

It felt as though I had finally finished a puzzle with five thousand pieces. This was it. Had Roman made himself so unlovable to protect his feelings? Were all his stupid quirks just means to scare away girls so that they would stop liking him? I couldn't help but pity him-- beneath his harsh exterior, I could sense who he was beneath all of it. In a flash of emotions, I reached out to touch his face with a wary, gentle touch. 

Roman's eyes widened, confused, as I moved away the strand of hair that strayed from the rest.

"I know you said this wouldn't be easy," I said, voice soft. "Whatever would ensue between us. And I spent a lot of time thinking about that, actually, and I think the answer is that you just make it hard for yourself." Sighing, I let my hands rest against his shoulders, watching his every move and reaction. It was obvious that he was caught off guard. "I pity you, Roman. But I thank you for making me realize how much guts one must have to feel... Why are you so scared?"

Roman just stared at me, his breathing coming out in shallow breaths through his nose. He stood as if frozen to his spot, and his hand left my hair, falling to his side as his eyes never left mine. "I'm not scared," he eventually said.

"You're terrified,"

"No,"

"There's no point denying, it's really fucking obvious--"

"No, it isn't!" Roman snarled, grabbing my hands, and prying them off of him. "Maybe I just don't like you in that way, have you ever considered that?"

I shrugged; "I have. But it still doesn't change the fact that I can read the fear on your face like an open fucking book,"

Groaning, Roman let out an exasperated sigh. He let go of my hands, the fury apparent in his unsteady breathing. It was obvious that he had never confronted his issues head-on, and that he didn't like the process one bit. "You need to watch your mouth,"

"Or what?" It was as though my fear had escaped me, staring him down with challenge burning its way through my veins. "You're going to tell Letha we fucked or whatever? Go ahead, see what I care! Just know that I will be telling the whole school that your dick is smaller than my pinky if you do."

Roman's eye twitched as he let out a guttural growl, body tensing up as he balled his fists, one of them returning to my hair. It was clear that I had angered him; he grabbed a fistful, yanking my head upward with a force that made me wince, pulling me flush against him. It was at this moment that I felt something press up against my stomach-- my eyes widened with the realization that he was hard. "Do you still like me?" he asked, his breath tickling the underside of my nose. 

When I refused to answer, Roman took my silence as a yes. "You're going to hurt yourself if you continue to,"

"Wasn't it you who proclaimed me a masochist?" I answered, a smirk forming on my lips. Something told me that I had him cornered. 

And I was right-- it was Roman's turn to go silent, staring into my eyes as multiple emotions flashed before him. Standing like this with him was almost comforting; I had finally deciphered him. I knew that he had practically built himself a fortress of hate and fired the canons at any signs of intrusions. He was so desperately human right now-- it was making me dizzy. Or was that just his harsh grip on my hair? 

"Roman?"

A hum.

"You can kiss me now if you want to,"

The hand in my hair loosened its grip, and I watched as Roman inhaled a long breath, no longer conflicted.

And so our lips came together in the alley, a rather hungry kiss ensuing. My hands went up into Roman's hair, letting out soft gasps against him as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to him with a burning need. I could taste the remnants of the chocolate flavoured ice-cream on his tongue, the sweetness mixing in with the roughness of our kiss. I wondered whether he could taste the vanilla on mine-- chocolate and vanilla were my favourite mix, anyway.

I knew there was a possibility of Letha spotting us if she walked our way, but it only made me more desperate for Roman. I had missed him dearly, the memories of our last kiss having haunted me through every hour of every day. There was no doubt in it now-- he wanted me too. It gave me such an immense rush, along with the satisfaction of feeling how hard he was against me, the throbbing of his cock continuing against my stomach as he pressed me further into the wall behind me. Something felt wrong about him being aroused after our fight, especially now that we were practically in public, but I knew I didn't want to push him away just yet. 

I was completely breathless by the time Roman shifted, his thigh now pressing up against the apex of my own. Caught off guard, I whimpered as he grabbed my hips, moving my hips against him as the kiss deepened, growing further needy. I could feel it in my bones; not only did he want me, he needed me. This was just about the biggest high I had ever had. Roman Godfrey-- all mine in this moment.

The friction between my legs, feeling his cock continuously brush up against my stomach through our clothes, had me gripping his shoulder, disconnecting our kiss to catch my breath. My head rolled back against the wall behind me as I pondered how I had allowed this to happen, not used to pleasure caused by others. 

Roman's fingers wrapped around my throat, holding me in place as we rocked against each other, lips hovering above one another before they came crashing together once more, unable to keep away. I let out a broken whimper, my hands flying back up into his hair, pulling him closer as pleasure coursed through my veins in a way I hadn't ever felt before. I couldn't quite put my finger on what this was, but I had never been this certain that I liked it.

I let out a broken moan as my head rolled back once more, which in turn had Roman connecting our lips, muffling any sounds. This was where I was reminded that we were in public, wondering if I had gone absolutely mad-- I blamed it all on him. His beautiful eyes, his strong arms, and his addicting, soft lips. As Roman continued to grind me up against his thigh, pulling away to watch my lips part and my body squirm in pleasure, I gazed up at the way the corners of his mouth turned up into his signature smirk. He knew exactly what he was doing-- messing with me like this, practically in public. 

It took a lot of willpower for me to push him away, whimpering slightly at the loss of contact. "We-- We can't," I said, catching my breath. 

Like this, I could see how disheveled Roman's hair was, how his lips looked swollen with kisses, and it made my stomach flip-- how was it possible for someone to be so beautiful, even when completely unraveled? 

Roman shrugged, grinning from ear to ear. It was clear that he was scanning my look of arousal; "My car is right around the corner,"

"Okay...?"

Leaning forward, Roman captured my lips in a short kiss. "I can park it somewhere desolate," he said, nipping at my lower lip. 

I couldn't help but shiver-- that sounded really fucking nice at the moment, but I knew I had to control myself. And I wasn't about to lose my virginity in a car? "Another time," I mumbled, struggling to catch my breath. Who would've known that arousal could cloud the mind like this? 

Roman nodded, accepting my words as a promise. "I'll hold you to that,"

Oh no-- This again? Great.

Just great.

(a/n: here are the links to PART 1, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8!<33 thank you for reading!!)

[yesimwriting]

OKAY idk if you keep taking thoughts but this IS the dynamic I had thought for Felix since DAY ONE, so of course I need more best friend!felix and maybe this one is a typical one but...

The jealousy??? like this man is very facial and expressive and protective, especially towards the reader.... so I thought about him watching any of his friends flirting with them? And maybe also being way too touchy? You can decide if reader is comfortable in all that or not (I think she wouldn't), but having him like trying not to be a dick but also like needing to, like they're my best friend shush so yeah, I'd love it if you could write something like that! thankss

a/n omg that one scene in saltburn where felix is like 'you're my friend,, you're supposed to be here with me' yeah i knew immediately

----

"Sorry, darling." Despite the soft, almost far off cadence of Farleigh's voice, his words manage to cut through the atmosphere of the party. He leans forward, handing off his half finished joint to the girl standing next to you. "This stuff's heavy, and I don't need Felix on me tonight."

You frown. His denial doesn't get to you as much as the way he's framing it. Like you're a child that needs to be looked after. Like you're Felix's property.

If you weren't already a few drinks in, you'd dismiss Farleigh's words with an eye roll. The buzz burning in your veins latches onto that pinch of irritation. The full sounding giggle that comes from the nameless girl by your side only amplifies the feeling. "I don't do everything Felix says."

"No," he agrees, "You do just enough to be a good, little pet." You cross your arms in front of your chest, tilting your head to better glare at him.

The feel of something touching your shoulder cracks the tension. Your head turns. Felix. Despite your annoyance, Felix's sudden appearance at your side has you easing. He leans forward, pressing a kiss against your cheek near the corner of your mouth. "I was looking for you."

You smile, placing your hand over the one Felix still has on your shoulder. "You seemed busy, decided to take a lap."

He brushes his thumb against your shoulder. "Never too busy for you, darling." Felix has a way of making things that should feel just polite sound genuine. "How're you doing?"

"Farleigh's being mean."

"Didn't let her smoke." Farleigh explains flatly, taking the joint back from the girl. "After the way you reacted last time, it wasn't worth it."

Felix squeezes your arm. "That true?" You're not given a chance to respond. "You know how you get. Especially after drinking." You blink at him, eyes wide and lips pressed together. "Don't give me that look." It's too gentle to be a scolding. "We can smoke when you're sober, if you want."

You're not one to crave getting high too often. There's a sluggishness to it that you have to be in a certain mood for. But something about smoking with Felix, in his room with the window open and the two of you lounging like the only things that matter are what's within arm's reach, is unbelievably soothing.

Even in your current state, you're fully aware of the fact that you're getting the better end of the deal. But with Farleigh's smug comment and that random girl that laughed still paying attention, you don't feel comfortable agreeing in front of everyone.

"You're looking for an excuse to argue." Ugh. The way he reads you is almost eerie. You press your lips together to keep from giggling, watching him carefully. You shake your head, a flimsy attempt at denial. "Yes." Felix leans closer, grinning. He drapes an arm around your back, pulling you against his chest. " I can see it in your eyes."

"My eyes are innocent."

His freehand moves to hold your chin, angling your head to better look you in the eye. He's focused, exuding more concentration than the moment warrants. That's the thing about Felix, crowded room or empty dorm, it doesn't matter. He has a talent for making anyone feel like the only person in the world.

"Hm," he hums, "You pass." Despite coming to a conclusion, he makes no effort to move away from you. "Want to get another drink?"

You nod, "Yeah."

"C'mon, then." He drops one arm, waving a halfhearted goodbye to Farleigh before guiding you forward.

Felix keeps an arm around your shoulders as you maneuver through the chaos of the party. It's instinct to accept his lead, a part of you more glad for it than usual. You're starting to feel fuzzy, and with Felix guiding you, it's safer to accept the sensation.

"Oh my god!" A squeal and then your name.

You turn your head, eyes landing on a familiar face from your lit class. "Daphne!" She's a newer friend that you mainly know from exchanging lecture notes and working on essays together. A part of you is surprised to see her here, but you guess you shouldn't be. Now that you're thinking about it, you feel like you've seen her around Felix's friends before. "Hey."

Daphne approaches you with a wide grin. "I didn't know you were here." She then glances to Felix, and then Felix's arm, and then back to Felix. "Hi, Felix."

If he notices Daphne's curious scrutiny, he gives no indication of it. "Hi, Daphne," he greets, confirming that they do run in the same circles.

She smiles politely before turning her attention back to you, "It's been a minute since I've seen you." Daphne tosses a glossy strand of hair over her shoulder. "We need to catch up, I found out the best thing about the girl that sits in the front row that always tells everyone her grades."

"Bragger girl? She's the worst."

"Oh, you have no idea."

Felix squeezes your arm, turning your attention back towards him. "I'll get you your drink, you catch up with your friend." You beam at him as his arm gently moves off your shoulder.

As soon as he's disappeared into the crowd, Daphne gasps, "Oh my god, whatever's going on there is better than my bragger girl story."

You blink. "What?" Confusion and Felix's absence make you feel slightly off balance. It takes you a moment to catch up. "Oh, Felix? We're friend." Daphne presses her lips together, the look she's giving you not entirely convinced. "C'mon, tell me about bragger girl."

"Okay." Daphne gestures to an empty coach that's been pushed against a wall. "Let's sit?"

The two of you make it to the edge of the room. Daphne's not shy about taking up space, letting her long legs extend into the start of where people might walk. She trusts the world to move for her. It hits you then that your friendship with Daphne, like your relationships with a lot of people you've been spending time with recently, doesn't make make sense on paper.

You sit, grateful for the chance to lean against something sturdy.

"Alright," Daphne starts, angling her body towards you, "Bragger girl--never's gotten an imperfect score girl--" She cuts herself off with a soft, tipsy giggle. "Is hooking up with the TA."

Oh, you're fully hooked. "What?" Daphne nods, expression satisfied. "No way." There's no way to prove the connection between that girl always managing to beat your scores by a few points and any of her personal relationships, but come on. "Wait--with--with which one--the tall one or--or the one with the--" You're too out of it to recall a good descriptor, "Hair."

Daphne laughs again, "Hair?" You shrug at her. "Doesn't matter how little sense that makes, because that's the--the best part of the story." You nod, urging her. "She's hooking up with both of them."

You gasp. Oh my god, you cannot wait for Felix to get back so you can reiterate every detail of this. "Really?" Daphne giggles, nodding her head. "How do you know?"

"Okay," she crosses her legs, "So, I was at this ba--"

"Hey, Daphne," the voice is low and clumsy, over extending the second half of Daphne's name. Daphne looks up in time to see a guy sit on the couch's cushioned arm. "Who's your friend?"

Daphne throws you an apologetic look before turning back to the stranger. "Hi, John." She then introduces the two of you politely, presenting you as a friend from her intro to western lit class and John as someone from her econ class.

John doesn't even attempt to hide the fact that he's looking you over. You're not sure if it's the slightly glazed over quality to his eyes or his lack of shame gets to you. All you know is that some instinct tells you to be wary.

He tries your name on his lips, slurring slightly. "Why've I never seen you around?"

"Oh, I don't know," you try, tone much more sober than it was a moment ago, "I'm around, I guess. Here and there."

It's not your best small talk, but the only part of you that seems to be clinging to sobriety doesn't feel right. He's friends with Daphne, you tell yourself, you have no reason to believe he has bad intentions just because seems like he's had too much of whatever he's been having tonight.

John laughs, like your words were some obscure joke that he wants you to know he decoded. "So what do you do when you're not getting out?" He angles himself towards you, disregarding Daphne entirely. "I'm having a hard time picturing you in a library."

It's almost ironic enough to get you to laugh. John sees you here, he sees how you're dressed, and who you're with and just assumes that this is your regular state. And while there's nothing wrong with being the party girl type (some of your favorite people are that kind of person), it's just not who you are every night of the week.

"Actually, John," Daphne interjects, "She's really smart, like basically certified genius smart." You throw her a not so subtle look that says you feel like she's exaggerating. "What? I said basically." You don't look like you agree, "C'mon, even Dr. Alvero's said it, and he can't stand anyone."

"Really?" John moves to stand. "Dr. Alvero. His class is bloody murder." He takes a step towards you. "Maybe you could help me study sometime." You're too aware of the length of your dress, of your legs. "I'd pay you for your time."

There's something about the way he tacks on the reference to finances, an implication that burrows beneath your skin. That's the worst part of Oxford's elite, they assume that if you don't run in the same circles...that if you don't come from generational money, you have nothing. That you're in a position to bend to their every whim for what they consider petty cash.

"John," Daphne tries, voice hard.

"What?" John takes another step forward. "I said I'd pay her."

Indignance and nerves bond uncomfortably in the pit of your stomach. As much as you want to tell him off, the way he's looking at you leaves you frozen, and it's not like the two of you are in a private area. You don't want to be labeled as a hysterical drunk.

"Sweetheart." Felix is within reach.

You turn your head instinctually. He's less than a foot from the couch, holding a solo cup. Despite directly addressing you, Felix's attention is fully focused on John, who seems to have finally remembered the concept of personal space.

Felix walks past him without a second glance before sitting next to you. It's a squeeze, Felix's knee pressing into yours. "They ran out of cups, so I thought we could share." Felix extends his arm slightly, gesturing to his drink. "Have some."

You lift a hand to reach for the cup, but Felix shifts before you can actually attempt to take it. Confusion has you dropping your hand back to your lap. You don't get where he's going with this until he gently tilts the cup in a silent question. You nod.

Felix brings the drink to your lips, gently tilting the cup until its contents are down your throat. The alcohol burns slightly, but not overbearingly so, and the flavor is familiar. Your favorite drink.

He pulls the cup away, a drop of liquid sliding down the corner of your mouth. Felix's thumb wipes it away before it can reach your chin. He then brings his still damp thumb towards his mouth to clean it.

Heat roots itself in your chest and crawls up your neck. All of your discomfort, all of your worry from before feels far and abstract until Felix asks, "So, who's your friend?"

"Oh, uh--this is Daphne's friend, John."

Daphne nods, leaning forward to join your conversation, "Yeah, I know him from my econ class."

"Yeah, good to finally meet you, man. " Felix finally looks back at John. "I think my step-mother's friends with your mum."

Felix places an arm against the back of the couch, giving you space to relax against his side. A more sober you would have thought twice about giving in so quickly, but you're starting to feel light again. "Uh--Cindy Marin."

"Right!" John exhales, relieved, "Right."

Felix nods once before turning his attention back to you. "You ready to get out of here?" There's an assuredness in the way he asks the question that makes it seem like there's nothing of value left at a party that hasn't at all since he sat down. You nod. Felix leans towards you so that he can better look over your shoulder. "See you around, Daphne."

"Yeah, see you."

Felix gets up, immediately stealing the warmth and comfort he'd been providing while next to you. Something that you only very minorly resent him for. He offers you his hand as you stand, and that makes up for most of it.

You turn your head to say goodbye to Daphne. Now that Felix isn't looking, she grins at you before mouthing: that was hot.

You roll your eyes, hoping your feigned irritation is enough to cover any signs of being flustered. Especially when Felix pulls an arm around your shoulders.

"Bye, John," he mumbles, "Congratulate your step-mum for me, yeah?"

Felix guides you out of the party. Once the two of you are exposed to the cool, night air, Felix lets go of you. There's a stiffness to his release that gets to you.

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a box of cigarettes.

"Can I?" Your voice is smaller than you thought it'd be.

Felix pauses, thinking through your request before handing you the box. You smile as Felix leans towards you. You don't smoke--with the exception of an occasional drag from one of Felix's cigarettes--but you like lighting them for him.

You pull one from the box and place it between his parted lips. He hands you his lighter next. You spark it to life, bringing the flame to the cigarette's end. Felix takes a deep breath, letting the smoke fill his lungs before exhaling. He doesn't attempt to take your hand or place an arm around you again.

"Are you--" You're not even sure how to word it, "...Okay?"

He takes the cigarette between two fingers as he breathes out. "Fine." Felix inhales another drag. "Just didn't love the way that guy talked to you."

"If it helps, neither did I."

Felix glances over at you, eyebrows pulling together. "Then it's a good thing your best friend was there."

You roll your eyes fondly, fighting a grin, "You're always a good thing."

He looks down, his fingers brush against yours. You intertwine them, pulling his palm against yours. "Someone loves me."

You attempt to glare at him, but the look feels too sickeningly fond to come off as menacing. "Don't start."

His smile broadens. He squeezes your hand, thumb brushing against your knuckles. "Want to stay over tonight?"

"Yeah." You grin, body subconsciously leaning against his a little more. "Are you tired?"

Felix eyes you with exaggerated skepticism, "Why?"

"Wanted to know if you were in the mood to read to me tonight."

He smiles, angling his head to press a kiss against the top of your head. "Anything you want, lovie."

----

felix: oh my god,, i can't believe people treat you like that!! maybe you should borrow my last name for a little, just so that they leave you alone

taglist; @vader-is-hot @spiritofbuddha @getosangie @freyafriggafrey @ilovehyperfixating @aryiannarae @willowpains

[melodic-haze]

FINALLY REQUESTS OPEN WOOHOOO!!!!!

okie so. Imagine just making Zhu Yuan wear vibrator in work which is totally evil!! She needs to arrest people and do all the paperwork, yet she can’t concentrate on all the things because of the vibrator. Also, making the vibrator go faster when she’s on the meeting and she’s supposed to listen and be quiet… anyway!! And even when she’s on her duty, she just can’t take it anymore and all she needs is her girlfriend’s cock in her soooooo like. Sex in her office so real, no matter if she still have work to do or not! Poor girl needs relief 🙏

love you haze my wifey 🫶

☆ — DEMO TRACK: sub!Zhu Yuan x dom!fem!gp!Reader

☆ — TYPE: NSFW

☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: fem reader with a dick, semi-public sex, public use of a vibrator

☆ — NOTES: love you too Rayne 🥰🥰 ik how long you've been waiting for this so ty for the patience babe 🤗

First off idk how people can see her as a dom sorry I just wanted to get it out there 🫶

Anyway convincing Zhu Yuan to WILLINGLY fuck around like this on the clock AT HER WORKPLACE would be a challenge, not because she's avidly against it (even though she makes a show of protesting due to it being inappropriate, you find that her 'protest' is a lot weaker than if she actually meant it) but because she's fucking shy

She's SHY about these kinds of things—sex already has her flustered anyway, having a toy inside her IN PUBLIC is even WORSE!!! For one, yes, how the FUCK is she supposed to concentrate her work in such a state?? That UNDOUBTEDLY gets worse overtime bc Why Wouldn't It? Just having it inside of her, without you even doing anything, turns her on due to the embarrassment and the anticipation bc genuinely who knows when you're gonna turn it on 😭

Oh but you WILL have to make good on the promise that you don't use it in genuinely dangerous situations bc she CANNOT be risking lives over a distraction like that

Though just because you promised not to do anything in life-threatening situations, doesn't mean you were gonna prevent yourself from doing anything in other risky situations. No, if anything, you planned to make the most of it since the very moment you stepped into the Bureau.

Credit to where credit's due, Zhu Yuan did give her best effort into seeming like she didn't have a certain distraction inside of her threatening to take her attention.. and the last of her dignity, if you pushed her to the edge far enough. Though unfortunately for her, that did mean you took her determination as a challenge.

You're thoroughly aware that her and the rest of the response team were in an important meeting, with all the Hollow appearances getting much more frequent. And yes, you're thoroughly aware that the term 'important' there is metaphorically underlined and highlighted in bright red...

So you swing open the door, a coffee tray in hand and the most innocent smile you could muster on your face as you approached the table, "Coffee, anyone? I thought I'd make some."

You see Qingyi shrug nonchalantly as she sips on her own tea (respect to the android for having it there instead of even pretending to look like she cares too much), contrasting to Seth's enthusiastic hand raise and some of your other colleagues' individual forms of assent. Though as you moved around to hand people their extremely needed liquid caffeine, your focus was more on the woman at the board, with her eyes widening and her otherwise pale skin reddening immediately at the sight of you.

"What-- Uh, what are you doing here?" She stammered out and only making her blush worse than it already is, "Is there an emergency or--"

You shook your head with a small laugh at her current display, "No no, no emergency. I just wanted to check in, see how it's going."

"..The meeting's going fine."

"Is it?"

Her eyes dart to look at your moving hand before looking back at you with slightly narrowed eyes at the realisation of what you're about to do, not to mention the suspense that only the both of you are privy to.

Just as Seth goes to answer enthusiastically in her stead, keeping everyone's attention anywhere but your true focus, you see your beloved's lips mouth out a few words to you.

'Don't you dare.'

So of course, like the kindest, most merciful person ever, you switch it on at full power.

A loud yelp escaped her already open mouth, much to your barely-hidden amusement and her reluctant-and-now-horrified embarrassment. The others' heads all whip back to Zhu Yuan's stumbling figure as she slams her hands on the desk and holds herself up, shaking her head as if she could shake away the red that coated her face.

Before anyone could ask of anything, though, it was you who spoke first, "You alright there, officer? You look a bit.. flushed."

And in this game between you and her, there was no way she was going to blurt out anything indecent in front of her work peers, especially not when she needs to be professional.

"Fine, I'm.. I'm fine," she says after taking a long breath before turning back to the board and crossing her arms, "but maybe we should.. mm, put a-- a pin on this for now. It's-- been a while anyway."

You wanted to tease her more but Seth pipes up questioningly, ever so diligently that it's starting to slightly annoy you, poor fool, "But I thought there was more to discuss?"

"Considering the.. interruption, I think we should take this as an opportunity for a break, no?" You hadn't actually registered Jane's presence until you hear her yourself, her smooth voice tinged with something suspiciously close to cheeky awareness, "Been a while since we've heard of sounds other than work discussions and Hollow risks."

"But--"

"You're telling me you aren't hungry?"

"No-- well, yes, but--"

"So take the chance! I personally will."

You see her push herself off the wall and opens the door, though before she fully left she stops. Then, she turns around with a complimentarily knowing look, her eyes darting to both you and Zhu Yuan specifically as she practically purrs out her words, "I don't think I'm the only one who's hungry, either."

She walks off, and the others follow her (one of them with reluctance), leaving the two of you alone.

Looking at her face though, she looks pissed. Beyond embarrassed too, yes, but also as if she could kill you right here right now. Maybe you took it too far, you think as you turn the toy off immediately.

Maybe you should apologise.

Before you could do anything, however, she makes a beeline for the door and hastily locks it. And it is only when the room is quiet and she is stood stock still that you can hear her ragged breathing.

You hear her lick her lips, not quite looking af you, before she speaks with something of a tremor to her voice, "You are insane, you know that? There is something seriously wrong with you."

"I just thought it'd be fun and it was tempting, sorry if I took it too far--"

"Turn it back on."

"What?"

"Turn it back on."

..Oh.

"Oh," your prior guilt has been quickly washed away and replaced with a smirk, "well, if you're being rude then--"

"Please." And she turns around and darts over to you, her hands clinging onto your hips—your proximity is so close to the point where you can feel her hot breath and see her clearly dilated pupils, "You know I don't like to beg but you've-- just please--"

You snaked your hand around her before giving her ass a smack, eliciting a sharp gasp from your tall lover, "Patience, you big baby. I thought I taught you better than that."

"Plus," you continued as your other hand went to lead her own to the bulge of your pants, "I think I'd much rather have you fall apart on me rather than some toy I used to play with you."

She lets out a whine as she buries her face into your neck, and you know that you'll have her falling apart in no time at all.

Will be extremely real she'd be SO PENT UP GENERALLY 😭😭😭😭😭 she doesn't tend to herself bc it's just at the back of her mind. Keeping citizens safe and just her work in general is always her top priority!!! So the moment she gets some sexual relief it is SUCH a feeling for her

Within her is the conflict between the fact that it's appropriate to do these things at work and the need to just have you at whatever kind of capacity......but that all gets overshadowed when you shove your dick inside of her 😜 suddenly ALL train of coherent thought flies of the fucking window!!!!!

I think everyone was thinking of those handlebars on her back and I am NO EXCEPTION❗️❗️❗️ Grip onto them as you piston into her over and over and it has you hitting some VERY deep spots that have her clawing on the table

NEEEEED to have her filled though really is that a surprise in this fuckass blog???? No????? Exactly. I genuinely don't know how people could see this woman as a dom bc she's such a fucking loser that as much as she thinks that begging is so embarrassing, she does it anyway bc she needs this ache to go away and needs her head clear!!!! So you have to take responsibility for what you've done to her through the whole day!!!!!!

Despite Zhu Yuan's best efforts along with the securital soundproofing, you'd be surprised if nobody had heard you beyond these walls.

The officer had taken to switching between covering her mouth and biting her knuckles in an effort to prevent her desperate whines from escaping as she bounced up and down on your lap. You, however, were sat on one of the chairs with your tits pressed on her back. One hand had gripped her now-messy ponytail and your other alternating between assisting her with her movements (not as if she needed it, considering just how in-control she was with her own body despite her thought-clouding desperation) and slapping her skin.

The room was hot, or maybe it was just the two of you—it didn't matter though, not when the two of you were going at it like animals, with your hastiness spurred on both by the fact that the others could come back at any time now and realise that something may have happened and your lover's surprising need for you.

Calling her pathetic had earned you a shake of the head, though you could feel her insides clench onto your cock. Perhaps it was due to her strength, but even despite how audibly wet she was due to the mix of both your very rushed releases, her cunt still had such a grip on you that you just couldn't help but cum inside her again.

You'll probably get told off by her about practicing safe sex later and pulling out when you needed to, but really who was she to say anything when she refused to let you cum outside under the guise of not letting this room become even more of a mess than it already is?

..That'll wait for when you're done though. Right now, you were solely focused on your now-quivering girlfriend as she squeezed onto your cock once again with a gasp.

Having a quickie but instead of just doing it quickly, you do it for a consecutive amount of times jsut bc your loser gf really wants you to rail her idk 🫶

It DID end up leaving her more relaxed though!!! Despite the fact that she couldn't stand for a while LNAO

You both get a text from Jane saying that neither of you are slick at all though..........and a VERY intrusive text about how she could smell your concoction of sex scents even stronger as a Thiren, to which Zhu Yuan REFUSES to see the light of day again (she goes to work the day after)

[vanesycho]

The chenle one has woken up smth in me so idk...Can you write smth w older Jisung where the reader cannot find her peace w boys her age until she meets jisung which is the "wattpad" kind of older man (ifykwim) caring and basically knows how to give reader the comfort that she needs

hi hii🤍 I would like to thank the person who wrote the request, I am not very satisfied with what I wrote, but I hope I was able to write something as you wanted<3

wc: 1,8k

You left the bar crying, your girlfriend was trying to catch up to you, you ignored her even when she called your name.

"Y/n stop! Stop!"

She caught up to you and grabbed your arm, turning you towards her, you didn't let her when she tried to hug you.

"You called me here even though you knew that boy had bad intentions."

"I swear I didn't know, would I have called you here if I knew he would touch you without your permission?"

You laughed hysterically through your tears.

"Really? Fuck it, I'm going home."

You couldn't stand listening to her anymore.You quickly left there and started walking home. Continued walking down the deserted street while crying, cursing everything, your friend, that boy, yourself. While you thought he was a different person again, he turned out to be no different from the other boys, they were all the same, each and every one of them.They would use you for their body, and if you didn't let them, they would throw you in the corner.

You were falling onto the pavement, tripping as you could barely see through your tears, until someone grabbed you by the arms. You looked up and saw a tall figure, the streetlight illuminating his face.

"Are you okay?"

You nodded, you didn't feel okay but did it matter? You freed yourself from his arms and regained your balance.

"I am good, thanks."

You were about to walk past him when you heard his voice again and stopped in your tracks.

"It might not be a good idea to pass through that street at this time of night."

You turned around, he was watching you with his hands in his pockets, you laughed hysterically.

"Anyway, what worse could happen to me today?"

He bowed his head slightly and walked a few steps towards you. You didn't back away, you were with a stranger on this street but you didn't have the strength to care.

"I was just warning you, you seem to be in a bad situation already, we wouldn't want them to take advantage of that, would we?"

You laughed, not because it was funny, you were tired, and this guy you didn't know cared about you?

"So? Like I said, I can't be in a worse situation, I can't trust your word either, who knows, maybe after you gain my trust, you'll try to take me to bed too."

He frowned, looking at a tear that was streaming down your cheek. You were definitely not in a good state, and he wasn't planning on leaving you like that.

"I don't know how you've gotten men into your life, but I suggest you don't lump everyone together.You're here all alone, you look weak and tired, if I wanted to take you to bed I'd do it now."

You kept quiet, you had nothing to say, you sat on the pavement, your high heels were starting to hurt your feet. You turned to him as he sat down next to you.

"I'm Y/n."

He looked at your outstretched hand and laughed, he reached out his hand which was bigger than yours and shook it, you just realized how cold your hands were at that moment.He had a warm hand unlike yours.

"Park Jisung."

'Jisung' you repeated that name in your head.

"Are you planning on sitting here quietly?"

You grinned and glanced at him.

"You expect me to tell you? I don't have anything else to do though, do I?"

You took a deep breath, watching the couple pass in front of you, smiling as they walked hand in hand.

"I don't know if it's my bad luck or my fate, but all the men in my life have tried to use me. They're all the same, stupid teenagers, all they think about is sex."

He put his hands behind his back and tilted his head up in thought. You watched him, his adam's apple moving as he swallowed. He caught your gaze and spoke.

"Aren't you young? Don't expect anything else from boys your age, we men mature late, unlike you girls.Either don't take anyone in your life for a long time, or forget about men your age and try people a few years older."

You thought about it, you hadn't thought about being with someone older than your age. You watched the man next to you, he was obviously older than you. He stood out with his suit and face. He smiled when he realized she was watching him.

"Like what you see?"

You turned your head away in embarrassment.

"No. You're just standing here in a suit. Where do you come from?"

Now he was the one who took a deep breath.

"I was at a party with my friends but I got bored quickly, it seems like those kinds of places are not for me, I prefer to stay here quietly and alone, until you come."

You rolled your eyes laughing when he said the last sentence with a laugh, he grabbed your wrist as you were about to stand up, you looked at where he was holding you, he wasn't harsh, but when he noticed your look he quickly pulled his hand away.

"Oh sorry. I was just kidding, it's nice to have someone to talk to."

You sat down.You looked at each other, an awkward silence taking over you. The wind caressed your hair,he brushed the few strands that had fallen into your face.You flinched when you felt his fingertips on your cheek, he quickly pulled his hand away.You were letting a guy you just met get close to you like that, maybe that's why you always experience the same things, but this guy named Jisung... He had awakened different things in you.

"You might as well go home now."

"What is it? You don't want me with you?"

He paused, trying to find the right words, you laughed and standing up.

"Just kidding, I know what you mean."

He stood up with you, you looked at him, noticing the difference in his gaze. You looked away as his eyes looked into yours without fear, what was happening to you?

"Well...See you then?"

"Wait!"

You stopped as you turned around, he cleared his throat and spoke.

"It might be unsafe there, don't go alone, do you want me to come with you?"

You didn't know what to say, you didn't want to say no, you liked talking to him even a little, After some thought you nodded your head.

──────────────────────

A few minutes had passed, you were walking towards your house, talking about your own lives.

"So you don't have anyone in your life? Really?"

You looked at him in disbelief, well he was handsome, you didn't know him but from what you knew he seemed like a kind person. How could someone like him live alone?

"Yes, it was my choice, but you never know who fate will bring to me. Just like it brought you."

You turned your head to the road when he said this with a smile, looking into your eyes. Damn, you shouldn't have been fooled so easily, but every sentence he said sounded so real and beautiful. When you finally arrived in front of your house, you turned to him.

"Thank you for coming with me."

"It's not even worth mentioning. I'd feel bad if I didn't do this, just take care of yourself, okay?"

You pressed your lips together and nodded in affirmation, talking before walking in.

"Good night."

"Good night Y/n"

Hearing your name on his lips made you shiver and soon you were inside your house.

──────────────────────

The rest of the week went by normally, you hadn't even left the house. You tried not to think about Jisung when your mind thought about him most of the time.It happened and it was over, there was no point in thinking about it anymore. But your mind was playing tricks on you and you cursed when you thought his face.

You threw yourself out of the house, you obviously needed to clear your head. You went into the cafe near your house, ordered your coffee and sat down. While you were busy with your phone and waiting for your coffee, the tall figure standing in front of you caught your attention

"Was this place empty, little lady?"

The voice you heard sent shivers down your spine. You laughed at the encounter with him at the cafe you came to not think about him, you wet your dry lips and nodded your head.

"Yes, it's empty."

He came across from you and sat down. When your coffee arrived, you took a sip and tried to calm down. Seeing him again made your heart beat faster, and you hated this feeling already.

"I hope you're...okay now?"

He placed his arms on the table and leaned towards you slightly, you swallowed nervously and turned your head away.

"I'm fine, thanks for your concern."

He smiled at your shyness, damn even his smile was pretty.

"Why did you come?"

"What do you mean?"

He frowned at your sudden reaction, well that was the last reaction he expected but he could understand.

"I was worried about you, you seemed really sad that day, and you...well, you've been on my mind for a while. I was wondering if you were okay now. And when I saw you here I wanted to come and make sure."

You listened to him as your eyes widened in surprise, meaning you weren’t the only one thinking about him. The thought of someone caring about you brought up strange feelings inside you.

"I see. I'm fine, I guess I shouldn't let anyone into my life for a long time like you said."

He coughed as he drank his drink, pulling himself together and looking at you as you looked at him curiously.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah yeah I just-"

He took a sip of his drink and took a deep breath before speaking.

"I mean, I didn't think you would make a decision like that."

"Well? You're the one who told me that."

He was the one who avoided your gaze, you frowned, was he embarrassed of you? You couldn't help but giggle at how cute he looked, he turned to you when he heard your laugh.

"Okay Jisung, maybe I should try the other thing you suggested to me."

You couldn't help but smile as you saw a small expression of happiness on his face. He hid his smile and tried to remain serious.

"I didn't say that, but it's your decision."

You continued to smile as you took a sip from your drink.

"Hmm...Yeah, definitely."

You looked at him when the silence intervened, you bit your lip involuntarily when you realized he was watching you, his eyes fell on your lips and he tried to collect himself by looking away.

"So...now, would you like to come somewhere else with me?"

"So...A date?"

He smiled as he looked away from you.

"Yes, yes, a date. I mean if you want?"

You stood up, he watched you, you turned to him and pointed to the exit.

"Let's go then, there's no point in waiting."

[meistwentyinchheels]

having many thoughts about percy (he drives me insane) idk what the kf devs put into this man, but i swear i'm addicted. like the more i learn about him the more obsessed i become,,,i think i'm mentally ill

anyways since i think a lot about him (and my kf mc, may. might actually drop a lore post on her at some point) i will now be sharing some of those thoughts. also have a strong feeling this post is gonna end up pretty long just as a heads up lmfao

also a lot of this is just speculation on my part and me trying my best to analyze the little amount of information we have as of the moment. just as a disclaimer, anyways!

out of the three love interests i genuinely think percy might be the angstiest route for the following reasons (under the cut):

like first off, the devs have mentioned in the past that one of the routes will have a forced breakup to serve the greater narrative (this was mentioned a really long time ago tho so it might've been subject to change, but since we have nothing that proves otherwise i am running with it.) and i do not believe in any way that it could be elio,,,unless the devs decide to throw us a curveball lmao jamie is still an option and he was my first thought when i found out about the breakup route, butttt i doubt it'd be him. so from process of elimination that only leaves percy. he's also the only one out of the lis that has been in relationships before and judging from past asks i'm assumingggg that those past experiences most likely still affect him.

second, every single mention of his family has been vague at best and there's been ZERO mention of his mother. in the asks only his dad has ever been mentioned and also in the studying event if u go off with percy and elio, go to check out the polo club and choose to stay back with percy he'll mention that he moved to the states with his dad. normally people would mention both parents, but percy didn't so it's likely his parents divorced at some point? also i had a whole ass supposedly sound argument here, but it got disproven bc apparently his step-dad also came with them to the states??? like yes it does still prove that his parents r divorced, but it can also imply he has 2 dads. that's so funny i love it. okay moving onto my actual point!!! since percy is a child of divorce it's likely also affected his view of love and romantic relationships. possibly in a skewed way, but who knows so that does add to the angst factor QUITE a bit

finally, percy's avoidant and deferring nature. during the festival event if you split up and then go to check out the festival games you end up running into percy, which is when the game tells you that he tends to defer to what others want and seems to be perkier exploring the games by himself. there's also a few occasions in-game where if the mc tries to ask percy about himself he tends to either A. brush the topic off or B. push the attention onto someone else (usually elio?). so i'd assume that he dislikes talking about himself? which would mean it would take him a good while to open up. which isn't inherently a bad thing, but it can also cause communication issues so. sigh.

is this flimsy evidence? yes! but do i care? no! also i would do a deeper dive into this if i was actually good at analyzing character behaviors,,,and if not for the fact that at the time i'm writing this it's 1am on a school night. there's also so many other things i could have talked about!!! like his name!!! maybe some other day. so like. do with all this information what you will. bc i certainly will!!! i have so many ideas!! many angsty notes!!! be prepared.

[yassminesboo]

Lookism chapter 514: little rant

This is stupid as fuck at this point, genuinely one of the worst lookism chapters i've read so far.

I've been here since 2020, I've felt a lot of things when reading lookism, excitement, giddiness, sadness, suspense but never have i ever felt actual "what the fuck is going on" rage ever while reading lookism.

Nothing in this whole "hunt for gun" arc makes sense, like literally nothing adds up. first we've got the ENTIRE verse assembling like the avengers to take down gun, like we're talking extras that haven't appeared in years. Then these seemingly amazing strong characters that went through so much character development and training arcs get the floor wiped with them, absolutely erasing all the progress they've made so far and get taken down within literally three panels. Not to mention how they deal fatal blows and this man hits super saiyan poses and gets up like nothing happened? Then he proceeds to randomly and casually plunging off a cliff above the mountain forest and lands on the highway in 0.00001 sec mid fight without taking any fall damage whatsoever and gets right back to swinging.

Anyways fast forward to the ridiculous fight he had with johan, which i find to be absolutely ridiculous johan should have 100% won that and the fight should'nt have been prolonged that much, not only was johan in perfect health and his vision was restored, but gun was also getting more and more "tired" and his state was pitiful. But SOMEHOW he still won that. Okay. Cool.

And now fast forward to today's chapter: gun's DUMBASS turns down goo's offer and now they're fighting. So naturally you'd expect gun to lose because goo is relatively equal (as stated multiple times by the narrative) to gun, and gun is in a pitiful state broken arm basically became a flesh and bones smoothie, not to mention his organs must have turned into slime from the amount of hits he has taken. His left eye is popped and bloodshot, his neck is sliced, he even has CLAW marks down his lower torso and forearm, excessive blood loss and nasty bruising everywhere... so obviously goo who is 100% in good shape and is proven to be a very powerful and impactful character will win right? Haha.

*internally screaming throwing up sobbing rolling on the floor in rage and despair*

HOW THE FUCK DID HE END UP ON THE FLOOR SQUISHED LIKE A BUG WITH A SWORD PIERCING THROUGH HIM???? The whole fight made me ENRAGED, i lost it when he blocked the sword with his mouth AND bit it off like are we sure we're still in a slice of life manhwa and not a horror one? I lost it even more when his mouth that was torn ear to ear because of the sword magically healed in the next panel like nothing happened, like that sword didn't just cut through his flesh. Speaking of swords cutting through flesh, how did goos sword sharp enough to cut through metal and concrete walls get stuck on his ankle? Dies this man have titanium bones or something?? How did the sword get stuck on the FLESH not even the bone itself. And the fact that he just walked it off again like nothing happened.. somehow goo only landed like two clean hits and gun magically dodged all the other ones.

Then PTJ proceeds to pull up the double suicide to end the fight in which BOTH goo and gun were stabbed but goo somehow is the one who ends up being squished on the floor like a bug.

This is unacceptable, idk wth ptj was expecting us to get hype after gun some fucking how is capable of weaseling himself out of every corner he's backed up to this is starting patterns that are very similar to jjk.. which i don't like at all. I'd like to say for the one billionth time again that PTJ writing gets progressively worse from the years, which only consists of stalling and dragging the arcs instead of moving on to other plot points, extreme plot armor, adding in an unbelievable number of minor characters, background characters, and extras just to neglect them after a few chapters. Some characters who supposedly were from the "main cast" were gone for YEARS dude, and the lacking female character writing (some may argue with this because it is true there are female characters that are badass and are really good written, but most are created only for the purpose of helping a certain male character with character development. Which he literally directly says on his author note for viral hit in which he says all the female characters form the main cast even the nurse were created for romantic interest, which is an insane thing to say.)

Anyhow, if you've read this far thank you for coming to my ted talk 😓. I know some things i said might be controversial but i just needed to let out some steam, because this is getting ridiculous. Everyone can see the pattern now like there is no way that he's so overpowered that the entirety of the verse wasn't able to take him down.

[charmedreincarnation]

Sorry, y'all, for the random spam, but I had a lot of things I was doing and exploring, and I now finally have the motivation to share a lot of changes that have happened in my life. Okay, so my life is pretty great, and I've been actively manifesting for a while now. But I had a problem. Outside of shifting when it comes to my manifestations, for the most part, I like them to happen in a "realistic way.” (I wasn’t like this at the beginning ofc but now I am). I know that sounds stupid, but for example, when I manifested a car, I didn’t just have it appear on my driveway. I like to be a part of the process and watch it blossom into my reality (very quickly, may I add, because I'm impatient and a "now, now, now" type person), but I like to see my creations, you know?

So I was talking about my friends about some revisions I'd like to see in my state and life, more so bigger manifestations outside of myself for my community, you know? I've been feeling very grateful, and outside of manifesting, I love to dabble in philanthropy and other hobbies, and I'd like that to intertwine with manifesting as well!

There were a few things I had in mind, but again, I'm picky and annoying, and I was like, "Hmm, how will this come to fruition in my way?" I tried to plan it out, which is like (?? Rule number one of manifestation: don't worry about the how), but I actually do like to plan things out sometimes because I'm annoying, and when it happens, I'm like, "Hehe, that was me, go shawty."

Anyways, here were a few things I wanted:

* I visited Vienna, Austria in the summer, and I found the concept of their homeless shelters very admiring. In Vienna, they have emergency flats provided by the city for safe housing in emergency situations. I wanted something like that in my state, but living in America, which is very anti-homeless, it seemed challenging. I mean they spend more money on funding anti-homeless architecture than solving the ever so rising mental health and housing crisis but that’s a topic for another day. However, I was inspired by the Vienna Women's Refuge Association and their efforts to support women in need and I wanted something like that here.

* I wanted many restaurants that I've seen in other cities I've visited to be established in my city. My city is pretty big, but for some reason, it's often ignored when it comes to those corporations. I wanted to visualize all my favorite restaurants and make a list of where I want them, downtown, by my house, etc. It wasn't coming together, and I couldn't find the desire to script it. I also wanted more unique clothing stores because I’ve gotten more into fashion these past few months.

* I wanted my city to have more of the vibes of LA and NYC, without actually moving there. I love my city, but I wanted it to have that same energy. However, I didn't know how to get to that end point like I normally do with my other desires.

Honestly, I kind of put these desires on the back burner and just forgot about them, knowing that my life is already going in the direction I want it to. Then, we began getting a lot of news about how gentrification is about to occur, and how the prices in my city are going up. There's a lot of new construction happening for seemingly no reason. It turns out a huge tech company is establishing companies in my city, which will bring in new jobs, money, and people. At first, I was annoyed, thinking these people need to stay away, but then I remembered that I literally asked for this. Gentrification and all the other things that come along with migration, jobs, and a rising economy tie into what I wanted for my city to be like NYC and LA. I'm already seeing the renovation reflect what I imagined, and I am a happy girl.

Then, the next like week or so idk, my state gave funding to my fav mall and they received a couple billion dollars for a massive renovation. At first, I thought it was irrelevant, but then I saw a list of 300 establishments, clothes stores and restaurants that will be around my mall area. Every restaurant I desired, even the ones I only thought about for a second, were on that list. It's so funny when you forget about your manifestations and they come together even better than you could imagine. The mall getting renovated is one that I visit all the time, and now I can have all my favorite indulgences in one space. I'm super excited for everything to be done.

* On that same day, I saw that my state's very conservative governor (btw I went to school with his grandson and he was asintelligent as a bag of rocks) Is opening very affordable housing for human trafficking victims. This cause is close to my heart. Though i don’t personally know any victims myself I have read of many cases on the news and trials like cyntonia brown would make my blood boil. I’m surprised I didn’t think of this of myself but I’m m glad to see steps being taken to support these survivors.

So, sometimes, when we put our desires on the back burner, they can still manifest in unexpected and amazing ways.I seriously forgot about all of this and was just living my life, not even consciously trying to manifest it, and it happened anyway. Also, this may seem very stupid, but hey, all desires should be manifested no matter how small or stupid. There's this kind of big influencer at my school, and she seems really sweet and someone who I'd get along with. She's really political and speaks her mind, and has a bunch of reels about spirituality and feminism which is really dope considering how people act on social media, especially Instagram.

Anyways, I just thought one time, like a week ago, it would be nice to be friends with her or meet her or something, and out of nowhere, she slid up on my story yesterday and messaged me 😭😭😭. It was so funny to me, but yeah, we have plans to hang out. So yeah, even though sometimes I like planning my manifestations to see them happen in color, the same thing can happen without you planning either way. It will work out better than I expected, I promise don't worry.

[jasscheeks]

the emperor-to-be ; oikawa tooru

pairings: crown prince!oikawa x princess!reader

3,241 words

late at night, you’re visited by the crown prince, aka your husband-to-be

idk if this is accurate but this is in honor of the new bridgerton season <3 and i tried my hardest not to make the ages weird ✅

my ao3 saw this before tumblr did so this is a repost

OMG IT’S PRIDE MONTH!!!

m.list | ao3

thank you for reading!

"for heavens sake, your highness, have you gone mad?" she whisper screamed into the night, her frantic eyes scanning behind her for any signs of movement from her chamber doors. but she was quick to rest her attention back on the boy who was scaling the palace walls to her window. "in all earnesty, this is ridiculous!"

for as long as she could remember, he'd always been rough around the edges, smart and calculating as such, and always out training or playing sports with his kingdom's knights. he knew how to have fun, and how to make his royal life a bit more interesting than usual. as the emperor's son, his rambunctious and outgoing behavior caught her off guard. if anyone was to imagine the emperor's son, to imagine the lineage of the cutthroat and remarkably powerful emperor of aoba johsai, they were to think of the spitting image of the emperor himself, someone who is as distinguished and capable as him.

the prince only scoffs stifling back a grunt as he struggles to lift himself up and over onto her balcony's railing. nevertheless, he succeeds, his eyes finally at the same level with hers. "i suppose if i've gone mad, surely it's because of your divine presence," he cooed in that sly voice she said she despised so much, yet her knees still buckled beneath her. "with such beauty and wit, i'd only go mad for someone as mind-boggling as you, (y/n)." but oh, did he have a way with words. cheesy ones, but still did they have her heart thumping. even after all these years of bantering about with him, he still somehow made her yearn for his affections, even if he was as insufferable as when she first became closer with him, if not more.

he grunted, struggling to hold his body weight up. "now princess i am in dire need of your assistance, i fear i'll plummet to my death in the next second or so," with his hasty word and breathless tongue, "a little help?" the princess was quick to help him up onto her balcony, afraid he'd fall and turn into crown prince mush in the palace gardens tens of feet beneath them.

still her questions only piled up now that he stood in her chamber, catching his breath as though he hadn't breathed in hours. as winded as he is, what business could he possibly have in here? she asked herself.

during her stay at the imperial palace, he was always planning masterful pranks, his devious plans always seeming to grow bigger and well-executed when his cousins came around. as soon as her family finalized her engagement to the prince, in a month's time she was moving to reside into the neighboring kingdom. as the weeks went by, she'd seen and daresay partook in some of the crown prince's tricks. nothing too bad but always contrasting based on the person.

"your highness, if someone were to catch you here parading about an unwed woman's bed chambers so late in the night, you'd surely be engulfed in scandal," she stated sternly, her arms crossing over her chest as she scanned him from head to toe. in his current state, he didn't look like he was to be emperor in a few weeks with his tattered trousers and his grass stained button-up. but the look of him, she was getting flashbacks to when they were still children, his eyes still having that boyish twinge to them.

as she walked away from her balcony and further into her room, he followed closely behind her, as if her mere presence was his life source. "and by the looks of it, your attire entails you come from a place other than your chambers. enlighten me, where exactly have you been, your highness?"

"please (y/n), i'm certain i've told you before, address me by my given name in private settings," he chuckled as he inspected himself, dusting off whatever dirt he could as he walked. "and can't a gentleman such as i partake in...a nightly jog?" so when she finally turned to look at him he paused before he looked up at her, flashing that same cheeky look she's seen all her life. he expressed himself in many ways and one of those consisted of getting on her very last nerve. "and why, never mind scandal, are we not to be wed in mere weeks? the ton will surely not bat an eye to the secret endeavors of the royal family, and my, you already worry for me as a married couple should." a smile curved its way onto his lips, the looks of it twisting and turning her insides into knots. she'd always found him rather attractive, even when he was teasing her like this, she never ceased the feeling of butterflies in her stomach.

once again, she turned away from him, clutching onto the silky soft fabric of her nightgown, "you know just as much as i do, society will not think kindly of this, we'll be feasted upon like prey," her back grew hotter knowing he was watching her every move, feeling his eyes follow her. "we are not married, yet, are we not? i am still the princess and you, your highness, are..." she paused, feeling her heart clutch in her chest, "still the crown prince." she moved farther into the room until she stood at the edge of her bed, her lack of manners others would deem as disrespectful. "and i know better than to address the crown prince by his name, it would be unjust of me, no matter my status," she knew she should be looking him in the eyes as she utters these words, she knows her mother would reprimand her for such behavior if she were in this very room. although, in this moment, she can't seem to meet his gaze.

"but (y/n), you are just as much as my fiancé as you will be my wife, my empress," he reiterated, the warmth from his body loomed over her semi-exposed back, his presence sending chills down her spine as she felt him gently graze his warm hands over her shoulders. his large, strong hands, the callouses gained from climbing the wall shown on his palms, placed upon her shoulders, soothingly massaging all the way down to rest his hands on her waist and held her steady against his chest.

the warm presence of his touch only made the fervent bounding of butterflies in her stomach grow worse. "the same fairs for myself as well, you are mine as much as i am yours," his breath fanned across her shoulder, his lips just merely grazing her skin. "and how i yearn for the day i completely become yours," almost as if she was put under a spell, her whole body set ablaze from the outside in.

prince tooru oikawa, the future emperor of japan, her future husband, and her childhood friend. it was hard to fathom that this boy she'd grown up with, was to become the emperor and her husband all in one day. and the mere fact that she would become empress alongside him, none of it felt real. it was even more difficult to determine when these feelings for him sprouted.

she casted her eyes to the ground, her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to contain the ever growing yearn inside for more. because she knew that's exactly what he wanted, for her to call for him, ask for more of him. "do you not share the same sentiment, my princess?" there, his lips pressed into her skin, the patch where he laid soft yet blazing kisses with a desire left untold. he knew the answer all too well, considering the way her body searched for his touch.

with knees weakened under his mere presence, she was melting for him like always. "your highness, t-this is unbecoming of the future emperor," she uttered through a shaky breath. no matter how much she denied his advances, there was no room for her excuses in the way she reacted to his touch. "you must retire to your chamber, we cannot continue any further than here." turning her head away from his, he could have sworn his heart wilted watching her shy away from him.

as gently as he could manage, containing a desire he knew he couldn't control for long, he hooked a finger underneath her chin guiding her to meet his eyes. "princess, can't you look at me when you're addressing me? it's wounding my heart not being able to see your eyes," and finally now she could see the look on his face, her heart pounded against her chest. for once, she could sense the pain in his curved eyebrows and sad eyes. had she really caused him so much trouble from avoiding his gaze? "now, can you explain why it is unbecoming of me to spend the night with my betrothed? what is troubling you so that you must evade my touch?"

she grew quiet as she drew in a shallow breath. already she was assuming the worst when the words "spend the night" fell from those lips of his. she'd only ever heard of one type of night spent between a man and a woman, and quite frankly the ones before marriage usually ended in misfortune. "surely you don't mean to consummate our engagement do you, your highness?" her voice dimmed, suddenly feeling the embarrassment that followed her question. despite the warmth in her cheeks, she could see a tinge of something different on his face when the honorific slipped so smoothly from her lips, but before she could say anything, it was swiftly concealed with a smile as he snickered before bursting out into laughter.

"only if my lady so desires to as well, then we shall, i suppose the night of our wedding does seem far..." he teased his laughter dying down, the sarcastic lilt in his voice brought a smile to her features. before she knew it his arms were wrapped fondly around her, hugging her close to his chest. yet she didn't say a word, nor did she realize. the feeling was so familiar, so warm and inviting, she felt no need to acknowledge it with hostility. instead, she found herself cuddling back into his strong arms, placing her hands atop his.

"i pray you mean that in jest," she pandered, her eyes shining with that hint of mischief he distilled in her every time she was in his presence. his influence on her was strong, he was most likely the only one who could make her come out of that perfect princess act by just a glance.

his laughter filled the air around her, her heart swelling with adoration for the sound. "i would never do anything my princess advises me to abstain from." he snuggled closer to her, his lips once again pressing into her skin, spreading his affections over her neck and cheeks. "now if only she would confide in me over what ails her so..." he murmured against her cheek, his kisses reaching to her other cheek, her forehead, and chin now as she turned in his arms now.

"tooru, you're still dirty!" she giggled out loud, her hands clutching onto his larger ones that held her firmly against him. as much as she squirmed and squealed, he ceased to stop until he deemed his work satisfactory. "it's nothing, nothing is bothering me!" she squealed once more before he backed away, his playful gaze meeting hers.

he stared on for a few beats, looking as if he was scanning her each and every feature. and what felt like an eternity of staring he finally pulled a smile on his face. "it seems she's also a terrible liar." he mused.

she can never remember exactly when her relationship with the prince became so physical. perhaps it was the night of her 18th birthday, when he'd teased her for being a late bloomer despite having turned 18 a month prior. she does remember that was the same night he confessed to her for maybe the billionth time, leaving her with a kiss goodnight, or rather a few kisses goodnight.

she can still remember the sweet words he whispered to her, wishing her a happy, happy birthday as his lips met hers. that night she finally realized how much he'd grown up, how mature he really was. nonetheless how well he was filling his clothes, he stood taller than her with his broad shoulders that she found herself daydreaming about running her hands over. that was the first time she finally recognized him as a man and not the pesky prince who loved to annoy her.

his first time confessing to her was at none other than her debut into society once she'd turned 16. a grand ball was held in her family's countryside manor, the hall was completely transformed into something that reflected that of a perfect princess. bouquets of yellow jasmines, camellias, and white magnolias sat prettily in every pot, giving off the impression of pure, youthful perfections.

her mother's plan of society perceiving her as such was finally put into motion, and by the end of the night her mother had compiled a long list of suitors for the two of them to look over. well, for her mother to look over, considering she didn't have much interest in the boys of the gentry. but of course, her mother still pulled her every which way to introduce herself to every single guest, to mingle about and acquaint herself with the ton, she almost believed she wouldn't see the crown prince because of how busy her mother kept her.

but just before the night ended, he was able to whisk her away from everyone's prying and judging eyes giving her the chance to finally breathe and let loose. it seemed with oikawa she could finally relax, she didn't have to play some role in front of him because he'd known her since the day they were declared royalty as tiny babies.

everyday he continued to be her breath of fresh air, her taste of something real, someone real. that night he somehow snuck in how beautiful she looked, how jealous he felt watching every possible suitor fawn over her, and how he wished she would choose him over them all. although startled, her answer has been made up in her mind for years, she just hadn't come to terms with the truth yet.

just by her reaction to his confession, it set off his need to remind her of how strong his feelings were every time he saw her. so now that she looks at him, youthfully aged 23, in just a few weeks she'd be there with him, she can't believe how long she's waited to tell him how she felt. maybe she hadn't loved the prince for as long as he has loved her, but from the ages 18 to 22, they were the most crucial years in coming to terms with her feelings for that pesky boy. the moon’s light cascaded over his handsome, princely features, revealing the love he held in his gaze towards her. those same eyes were glancing at her lips, longing for that soft feeling against his.

with a touch that was as light as a feather, he caressed her cheek, his fingers gliding over her skin. "do you trust me, princess?" he whispered, his arm that wrapped around her waist tightened as he brought her closer. as he tried moving his touch further away, she found herself following him all the way up, until the point where she held his hand to her cheek, smiling at the laugh he let out.

titling her head, she recalled every instance where he had gained her trust. in fact, he might've had her trust from the very beginning, from the moment they both began to think for themselves she'd always declared him as a trust worthy person. "how could i not trust you?" she murmured in that same soft tone he used as he pressed his warm palm against her back, his fingers grazing the part of her night gown that exposed her back.

"then may i...?" he whispered before he leant in, his eyes cast down to her lips as his eyelids nearly shut. she didn't have to answer as the two of them met in the middle, sharing a kiss as delicate as the quiet night they met in. butterflies blossomed in her heart and insides as she pressed deeper into him, yearning for more of him. even as his lips curled into a sneaky smile, neither of them stopped for a second.

her chest finally met his as she threw her arms around his neck, pulling him as close as he could possibly be. kissing his majesty always transformed her into a different woman, it had always felt like she was bewitched by his presence. "my princess..." he breathed out, his long and slender fingers finding the bow that kept her nightgown together and wrapped around her body, "you're so sweet to me..." he sighed as he basked in your whimpers and small moans to the hot kisses he left along her neck. he itched to undo the flimsy thing, show her how sweet she really was, but he knew she wouldn't want that, not now at least.

"tooru..." she moaned, awakening something below for him. his breath hitched hearing her call his name in such a manner, his lips pressing a kiss under her jaw. her sweet voice rang through his ears and he knew this is where the night needed to end before he couldn't contain himself any longer.

"i like when you say my name, princess, i could listen to the sound all day if there was a way," he smiled, knowing exactly what she wanted to say. but it's too soon, the wedding is in mere weeks, they'd both get to have each other then but damn nobody told him it'd be this hard to resist. "in 3 weeks time, we'll have the whole night to ourselves, my love," he lifted her chin so her pouty lips could reach his once more, "and don't think i'll let you sleep for even a second of it..." he gave her a sly smirk before pressing one last kiss onto her plump lips.

but that wasn't enough for her, even as he backed away she wasn't satisfied. "how do you expect for me to be happy waiting when you've left me all high and dry?" she muttered, possessed by the lustrous presence the two of them left lingering in the air.

just by the way he snickered, she knew he wasn't going to comply to her wishes, not this time at least. "oh my, where has my sweet and innocent (y/n) gone?" he shook his head, "like this my lady," he angled her head down to press a loving kiss to her forehead. meeting her eyes once more he chuckled, the look in them insatiably sharp but she still couldn't resist him. "surely you don't mean to consummate our engagement tonight, my love?" he whispered to her, earning a grunt in return.

"i deplore you," she mumbled, as she crossed her arms but he only smiled in return, understanding her bitterness all too well.

"and i love you,” he whispered back.

knight!iwaizumi x princess!reader is on the way 😈

thank you for reading! happy pride!

m.list

[dr3amlab]

wicked games, dm.

SUMMARY — Y/N Gorgon and Draco Malfoy have a long history of mutual hatred. You see, the two of them have been pulling pranks on each other since their 1st year at Hogwarts, to the dismay of their close friends and supervisors. However, after a prank left Y/N completely out of her mind, she decides that she'll pull her cruelest prank yet on Draco by pretending to be his secret admirer.

PAIRING — Draco Malfoy x reader

GENRE — series, enemies to lovers, rival, comedy (?)

WORD COUNT — 1631 words.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — I tried a new format of writing, I kinda want to try narrating like a movie ? idk if you caught that. tell me what you think, I'd really love that. Let me know if you want to be on the taglist!

PARTS. 1 2 3 4 5 6 finale

I. YOU WILL BE DEALT WITH.

“Really handsome, blond, tall and a son of a bitch.” These are the words you would use to describe Draco Malfoy if somebody ever asked you. Of course, you are not worried of ever saying the first four words of that sentence to anyone because, well, nobody would ever ask you.

It’s not that your opinion of the blond boy doesn’t matter, don’t get me wrong, but it’s just that your judgement of Malfoy is well known all across Hogwarts : you hate Draco, with a passion. Matter fact, if you had a gun with two bullets and you were in a room with Voldemort, Umbridge , and Draco, you would shoot draco, twice.

You must be curious on why you both hate each other so much ; Well for starters, it all started on the first ever day of Hogwarts when⎯

“Draco fucking Malfoy.”you yelled at the top of your lungs as soon as you felt a translucent-gooey-textured liquid being poured on the top of your head, slowly making its way on your shoulders. For the matter that drenched your upper body was unknown, you closed your eyes instantly, preventing whatever-that-was from infecting your eyes.

(I guess we’ll tell that story another day)

You quickly wiped your eyes with your fingers, wanting to see the culprit so you could give them a piece of your mind. But, of course, you knew damn well who would dare to pull this type of pranks at eight am.

There he was, right in front of you, Draco Malfoy, with his stupid platinum blond hair, laughing stupidly with his stupider friends. Oh, how his laugh was aggravating to your ears.

“What the fuck did you just pour on me Malfoy?”You gritted your teeth, angry as ever. Who in their right state of mind would be this bored to pull a prank this early in the morning?  

A smirk grazed his lips as he looked down on you. “What I just poured on you is troll snot.” His response earned a roar of laughter from not only his little clique, but the entire hallway which was, conveniently for Draco, busy at this time of the day. “And you think it's bloody funny you fucking tosser?” You said, disgusted as you helplessly tried to clean your hands on your skirt.

“Geez, Gorgon.” He chuckled as if you said the silliest thing ever. “Who shat in your cereals?” This statement made Crabbe and Goyle slap their knees and grab their stomach as it hurt with laughter. “Stop laughing! What's so funny you idiots?” You glared at them which made them stop at once.

You took a step towards the blond boy while looking at him straight into his eyes. “You're satisfied of yourself right now, aren't you Malfoy?” He took a step back, not sure of what's going to be your next move. “Are you du—” You were interrupted by a stern voice that silenced the entire hallway in a matter of seconds.

“What in Merlin's name is going on over here?” You didn't even need to turn around to see whose voice it is as you know it too damn well. Plus, the look on Malfoy only confirmed your suspicion. “Fuck, it's Snape.” He muttered shakily under his breath. “You are little coward, aren't you Malfoy?” You giggled bitterly finding his reaction way too funny. “Everybody go to class.” The professor continued. “NOW.”He demanded making every student watching the scene scurry to their first class of the day.

“Y/N Gorgon. Draco Malfoy.” Snape said in a severe voice. “What did you two scheme this time?” You turned around to look at the professor's face filled of exasperation. Well, can you blame him? There's not a single person in the world that wouldn't be tired of giving the same two students detention almost every day for the past six years. Yes, every day for the past SIX years.

Snape's presence didn't even bother you at this point, the man has seen you in all the possible situations and emotional states since the day you stepped foot into Hogwarts. So, unbothered, you continued talking to Draco as if Snape wasn't even in the room. “You will not get away with this Malfoy”you said through gritted teeth. “Trust, you will be dealt with.” You poked your index finger at his chest. “You didn't win yet, you fucking twat." The last statement earned you a smack in the back of your head from Snape.

“10 points out for Slytherin for your foolishness.” he said, disappointed. “I think you two already know the drill by now.” He sighed looking at the two of you in front of him. “Potions classroom. Cauldrons.” He said lifelessly, as usual.

“I think you are mistaken professor, we cleaned the cauldrons yesterday.” Draco said hurriedly. You quickly nudged Draco with your elbow. “Shut up Malfoy.” you mouthed.

“Would you rather help Filch on his cleaning duties?” Snape said already knowing your reaction. “No, sir.” You said quickly.

“Good.”He said before turning his back and leaving to Merlin knows where, but, then, he stopped his motions before turning back towards you and Draco. “Oh and Y/N.” You gulped. “Clean yourself before going to detention.” He brought his hand to his nose, waving it up and down as if to eliminate a bad odour. “The stench of troll snot isn't really pleasant for my nose. I think I speak for all of us” He turned back and disappeared quickly from the hallways which were empty by now, leaving only you and Draco who was currently laughing uncontrollably.

Of course, you didn't hesitate to kick him where the sun doesn't shine to make him shut up. And it did work.

                   ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

"And he got me fucked up if he thinks that he'll get away with this easily." You stormed into your room, muttering like a mad woman. "He really thinks" you sat yourself on your desk, slamming a piece of paper on it. "that I'm going to let this slide, huh?" you picked up your quill and started writing on the paper. "Malfoy, you don't know what's coming for your right now." you chuckled maniacally.

"What the fuck Y/N?" Athena, your roommate, said as she got out of your shared bathroom, looking like she just got out of the shower. "Aren't you supposed to be in class right now?" she questioned while looking at you curiously and leaning her body on the door frame of the bathroom. "By the way⎯ What in Merlin's beard is this horrid smell?" she scrunched her nose "And it's definitely not me cause I just hopped out of the shower." You glared at her. "Well, what about you?" you said, "aren't you supposed to be in transfiguration right now?" you looked back at your paper. "If you are wondering about the smell," you stopped writing your sentence and met her eyes, "Draco Malfoy poured troll snot on me this morning." you explained.

A look of horror displayed on Athena's face "Troll snot?" you nodded. "Yes troll snot." for a moment she looked like she was suppressing a laugh, but then she couldn't control it anymore and had a fit of laughter. "What are you laughing for you git?" You were utterly offended, why would your dearest friend laugh of your misery?

"I'm sorry love, it's just that it's kind of a good come back for your last prank." she put her hand in front of her mouth as an attempt to hide her smile. "I didn't think that he could top you putting green hair dye in his shampoo." she continued. "Sure." you said smiling as Athena reminded you of your last accomplishment. "So I suppose that you are planning your next prank, aren't you?" she pointed at the piece of paper you were writing. "You know, I think you guys should just kiss at this point." you pretended to gag at her last statement. "Don’t ever say that again Athena. It’s never going to happen." she leaned back from her previous position and started to walk towards you.

"And, yeah, I am." a huge smirk displayed on your face. "And what is it?" she said as she stood next to you. "Nothing." you said simply. "Nothing?" Athena confusedly said as she picked up your piece of paper. "Yeah, I'm just gonna take a step back and watch things unfold." You said while leaning back in your chair, your arms behind your head.

You watched Athena's reaction at your next prank with amusement. "Y/N! You are insane." she exclaimed with her eyes as wide as saucers. "I truly don't know how to feel about this one, it's really risky." she waved the paper in front of your face. "Don't worry about it, it's all fun." you snatched the paper out of her hand. "Besides, that's the adequate payback for what he did today." you smiled mischievously while reading at the words written in the piece of parchment."

Dear Draco,

You filled up my heart for the past years, and I can not thank you enough for bringing me so much joy.

You see, I'm always looking at you secretly and it's creepy, I know, but I can't stop my eyes for prying for every trace of you. You are the highlight of my every day, hour and second.

I feel butterflies in my stomach every time our eyes meet by accident, I feel happy when you laugh but sadness when I see a frown on your face. Oh, how I'm infatuated by you.

But see, pretty boy, a wave of sadness can't help but to wash all over me when I wonder if you even know my existence.

Darling, do you even know my name? do you know I exist?

yours truly,

your secret admirer.

"This is perfect." you folded the letter and put it in a pink envelope. "I don't know about this Y/N." Athena sounded genuinely worried. "It's all he deserves for ruining my day by pouring troll snot on me." you said nonchalantly.

"Yeah, speaking of troll snot." Athena scrunched her nose in disgust. "you should really take a shower."

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I restart an argument with a friend?

🌊⚓ <- so I can search for it.

So, a while ago, a friend was over and we talked. She is from South Germany while I am from North Germany, where we are both living (this'll be important in a sec).

I don't really remember why we were talking about the topic, but we started talking about regional dialects and sayings and then she called Low German* a dialect. Which tldr: big no-no. But I don't think she was being malicious, she just didn't know about the topic at all.

So naturally I explained: "You absolutely cannot call Low German a dialect to peoples faces around here. People will take offense to it. I don't really, because I consider the difference between dialect and language is arbitrary to begin with. But you will provoke incredibly unkind reactions from other people."

Her response was "Yeah but like. Doesn't everyone think their own dialect should be a language."

And... Idk why that one hurt but it did. It just felt incredibly dismissive. And I didn't really know how to respond other than "but this is the one case where it is true" which felt weird so I just. Didn't. We kinda moved on to other topics. But in hindsight, I really wish I hadn't?

Because I wish I had explained it in depth to her so she understands why what she said is considered unacceptable. But also for her own sake, because she will piss people off if she says the same thing to other people. And honestly for my sake so I can make peace with the conversation.

So I'm considering either finding a way to restart the argument/ conversation when we are together or go the cowardly route and send her a couple screenshots explaining the topic. But I also feel like restarting a fight we never really had and really doesn't matter is kind of a dick move.

Additionally I tend to be a person that corrects people when they are wrong and starts discussion way too much. Because in my family academic debates are a love language.** So I tend to reaaaaaally overestimate the amount of debating/ arguing people are comfortable with. They tend to perceive me as being upset with them while I am just having fun hashing out a topic from different angles.

So Tumblr. WIBTA?

Footnotes

* Low German is the regional language of North Germany. The definition of North Germany is actually pretty much "wherever they are speaking Low German". There is some controversy if Low German is a dialect or a language. Which like... People often describe it as closer to Dutch and English than Standard German, it's a recognised language in every state it is spoken in, it is recognized as a regional language in the fucking European Union WHY is it still controversial.

It is also very much an endangered language because in the past decades especially it has been looked down on as being "lower class". No that's not where the name comes from, low german is spoken where the terrain is flat/ low and high/ upper german is spoken where the mountains are. This attitude towards Low German is shifting a lot recently but it is entirely possible it's too late to prevent it from dying out.

** I felt like this part needed some clarification too. I can't count how many dinners in my childhood were spent eating while getting into the meat of whatever topic caught our attention. Politics or science or more spiritual stuff. Ask questions about things we were wondering about. Absolutely tear into each other when we had opposing positions, but concede when we were convinced. Oftentimes I'd get up to grab pen and paper, or demonstrate orbital dynamics with the jam container, a bowl and my plate, or use the butter as an impromptu drawing board.

But that doesn't mean we were fighting in the normal sense even if someone got upset occasionally. It was really just communicating with one another. It was connecting. Exercising our debate skills. Play-fighting but make it academia. It was genuinely fun to us and still is. An alternative outlet for sibling rivalry. There is no need to fight over the TV remote when you can just reason it out together.

So yeah. That's how academic debates can be a love language (and simultaneously absolutely destroy your conception of what is considered arguing).

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hello! IDK if you can do this, but how about a FNAF DLC platonic:

Ruined Eclipse (or Sun and Moon separated) with a creator! reader, something like a reunion parent-child, they recognize the reader because of an old guest record, the first one they ever had. As they were created by them

"I still can't believe you almost shutdown the entire MXES system..."

"Yeah, me neither. But who decided that the avatar should look like some...creepy rabbit? I was honestly more scared of that than anything."

".....I'd rather not talk about it. Let's just keep moving."

"Vanessa's right, we're getting close to the daycare." You chimed in, keeping a hopeful smile on your face as you shone the flashlight down the debris-ridden path.

Coming back to the ruined Pizzaplex was something you never even dreamed of doing. After helping Gregory, Vanessa, and Freddy (or at least what's left of him anyways) escape this awful place...you thought that the best thing to do was to implement an advanced security system.

One that ensured nothing, especially the machine you all called the "Mimic", could get out and wreck havoc.

Of course, you felt bad for leaving all the other animatronics behind, including Freddy's bandmates. You had plans to come back and retrieve them once Vanessa confirmed that the widespread system virus was cleared.

Then a mysterious earthquake struck and basically left the complex in ruins.

Fortunately the security system remained intact, as it was her idea to put all of it into the AR world where reality couldn't damage the nodes.

And for a while there were no problems...

Until they began shutting down one by one, and Vanessa discovered that a new user had been paired with the VANNI network thanks to the mask she left behind.

That user?

Gregory's friend: Cassie.

Somehow the Mimic managed to contact her and pretend to be him, instructing her to "save him" by turning off all the nodes. And it was interfering with all of your attempts to reach her.

Even worse?

MXES kept sending out alert signals to the animatronics--which is what it's programmed to do in order to keep anyone from touching the nodes..

But considering the horrible state the Glamrocks were in the last time you saw them, you were almost certain they're hunting Cassie like a pack of wolves, driven by anger rather than a glitch or security protocols.

Luckily you were able to access her walkie-talkie before she could shutdown the Entity itself and free the Mimic, explaining that Gregory was never there to begin with.

You, him, Vanessa, and Freddy eventually came to her rescue, taking a backup of MXES before escaping the pizzaplex for the last time.

Or...

At least you thought that would've been the last time you've ever seen that place.

Cassie recognized you as the creator of the Daycare Attendant and mentioned that he was active and....didn't try to harm her after she managed to reboot him.

That piqued your interest.

You didn't think he'd be functional still, let alone harmless towards her.

For a few days you kept thinking about it and how much you missed seeing that ray of sunshine/moonlight..

Next thing you knew, you were back here with your friends to seek him out. Gregory proposed finding a new body for Freddy--or at least batteries from the recharge stations to keep his head active.

Since you're already here, you might as well take a shortcut to Superstar Daycare.

"Can I ask you something about him, [y/n]?" Cassie spoke up.

"Sure."

"...was he meant to have some third mode? Because when I rebooted him, he didn't act too much like Sun...and he definitely wasn't acting 100% like Moon, either."

"....oh my gosh.." Stopping in your tracks, you stared at her with wide eyes. "You managed to put him into Eclipse mode??"

"I....guess..? Is that what he's called?"

"Yes! That was his default mode for his theater performances! I thought it was lost forever, but....wow." You laughed softly. "I have to see him now."

Eclipse was a name you thought you'd never hear again.

Originally, you had created him as a stage performer in the Pizzaplex's early days, developing his day-night cycle function as a neat little schtick for the children. He was meant to tell stories and switch between Sun and Moon to act out a thrilling "good vs evil" battle.

Alas his performances didn't get nearly as much attention as the Glamrocks, and you were sorta coerced into coming up with a new idea lest he was scrapped altogether.

You decided he'll become a daycare manager to help with the recent uptick of patrons accompanied by toddlers.

You led a small engineering team to help program him with new information, including a guest record that you tested out first, and he adjusted to his new role very well. He became popular even quicker than before.

The only issue during maintenance was the light-sensitivity switch couldn't be removed...not even by you. For whatever reason the DreadUnit didn't have that information on file.

You've tried everything in the book, even attempting to reverse-engineer how you made it originally. But you couldn't remove it without compromising Eclipse's entire system.

It's like it was somehow integrated permanently into his software, rather than being a physical mechanism you put in with a wrench and screws.

You knew for a fact you didn't design it that way.

One of the newbie engineers who doubted your skills tried fixing the problem themselves, taking Eclipse to parts & services without your permission.

Then there was a blackout, and they nearly got maimed to death after he abruptly switched into Moon and attacked them inside the "protective" cylinder.

The incident had been covered-up since, but you never did see Eclipse (or that coworker) ever again.

There was just Sun and Moon now, with neither half remembering anything related to their original form.

As painful as it was...you had to accept it, knowing that it would be too risky (and costly) to perform any further maintenance on that mechanic. You just continued overseeing his duties as daycare attendant.

But things kept going downhill from here.

You felt like your beloved creation had turned into a walking nightmare, considering the amount of complaints you've had over him making toddlers cry while they're getting picked up from the daycare.

It didn't help matter where the blackouts became more frequent in there, too, triggering Moon to come out often; management's solution was to shove a bunch of backup generators into the play areas and call it a day.

They didn't wanna waste a single dime more on any problems relating to the Attendant or his attraction, making it clear that you'd only repair him if he needed cleaning.

And they threatened you with termination if you mentioned anything about Eclipse to the guests or coworkers.

It was so unfair.

The incompetent engineer who only had two months of animatronic repair experience took your creation and broke him--being let off the hook with a mere slap on the wrist and all their medical expenses paid...

While you're stuck dealing with the consequences.

Neither Sun nor Moon blamed you for anything that happened, but you still felt like you failed them.

Like you failed Eclipse.

You eventually resigned, unable to deal with it anymore, although you still thought about him all the time and visited the Pizzaplex, hoping he was doing well.

Maybe he'd forget about you as he continued receiving an endless number of guest names to add to his database. He probably erased your name since you haven't been back in such a long time.

Perhaps..that was for the best.

Yet now you were here once again among the ruins of the mall, holding onto the tiniest bit of hope that he was still alive.

It seems you haven't fully let him go just yet.

..........

As the doors to the daycare eerily creaked open, you made the brave decision to go inside alone while the rest of the group kept a lookout for trouble.

Gregory and Freddy, of course, had their reasons not to enter that place. Neither of them knew for certain if the Attendant would remember them...and how Moon chased down the brunette at the end of every hour.

He'd rather not relive the horrors of trying to navigate through the darkness and turn on those stupid generators.

You looked all around, frowning at the ruined state of the daycare you helped build. But at the same time it filled you with such nostalgia.

It's a miracle anything was left standing at all.

"Hello? Eclipse?" Your voice echoed throughout the seemingly empty attraction.

A few seconds later, you got a response that made your heart swell with joy.

"Hello, friend! Welcome to Superstar Daycare!!"

In the blink of an eye, a familiar face floated down in front of you with a smile. You stepped back and took a moment to look over the animatronic, seeing he had parts of Sun and Moon blended together as one.

And somehow, he was able to stand despite only having one intact leg.

At first you had no idea what to say..

But no words had to be spoken, as Eclipse's petals clicked and shuffled as he leaned in closer. From his eyes came a holographic scanner that swept over you once, and once it vanished he stepped back, shocked.

"[Y/n]...my creator..?" He whispered. "You...have returned?"

You nodded, smiling as tears formed in your eyes. "It's me, Eclipse. I'm back."

You couldn't help opening your arms up to him, and he embraced you tightly in response, nearly crushing you. Although some of his endoskeleton components and loose wires poked your sides, you didn't care about that, being too overwhelmed with emotion to worry.

He was okay, and he didn't seem to hold any ill-will towards your abrupt resignation.

That's all that mattered right now.

"Oh it's so, so good to see you!! How have you been? Is your boss giving you a rough time? Am I due for maintenance??" He was rambling a mile a minute, and you just chuckled and shook your head, letting him go.

"No, you're just fine, buddy. But listen, there's..something you need to know-"

"Of course, of course! Could you just give me one moment? I'm almost done cleaning up this place!" He looked around anxiously. "We'll be open in an hour so I need to do one final sweep!"

"Eclipse-"

"I pinky swear it'll take only a second! And then-!"

"Eclipse. I command you to stay put and listen."

Before he could leap out of your sights, your firm tone of voice made him freeze and stare at you, completely unmoving.

Even you were stunned that he was still programmed to obey you, but at least it makes what you're about to tell him easier.

You cleared your throat, awkwardly clipping your flashlight to your belt before finally speaking. "Cleaning up the daycare is...no longer necessary."

He tilted his head like a curious cat, looking rather troubled. "No longer...necessary? Why? Did I do a bad job? I hope not...I-I was just...trapped in a long sleep!"

You nodded. "I know, but during that time...an earthquake hit the Pizzaplex, and now it's too dangerous for anyone to come visit."

"..huh, so we're closed...forever?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, Eclipse.."

"I see..." Slowly, but surely, he was processing this news. Although he perked back up with a smile. "But it must be somewhat safe..since you came to visit me!"

"Cassie told me you were still here." Your smile returned, relieved he was taking it better than you initially expected. "I heard she helped you...and Sun and Moon when you needed it most."

"Cassie....? Cassie...ohhh, the little girl who made us whole again!!" His eyes flashed with recollection. "She was such a sweet kid! Is she alright? Is she safe?"

"She's safe, and she's just outside the daycare. Along with Vanessa and um...Gregory."

"........"

"L-Listen, I know you two had a bad history together.." You began, cautious as he just stared blankly at you. "But I promise he's not-"

"Who's Gregory? I don't recall his name being in my records.."

'Ah....so Eclipse doesn't know him. Thank god.'

"Oh! That's okay. He's a great kid, too. I'll have to introduce you to him." You extended your hand out. "Come with me. Let's get out of this place. He needs our help finding a new body for Freddy since his original one got destroyed by the STA--earthquake."

Internally you cursed yourself for that near-slip of the tongue, although Eclipse didn't notice at all and joyfully took your hand, eager to help a kid in need.

He let you lead him out of the daycare like a parent and their child, never letting your hand go even for a moment. But you weren't complaining.

In a way, you were his parent.

You did create him, after all.

And now you've finally reunited with him.

[batsplat]

do you have a favorite bit of motogp gossip that you either want to know is it’s true, or you just enjoy as a stand alone piece, no need for further investigation?

one of those where I initially stared at and like. lost all motogp knowledge in my brain. and then stuff did come back to me. this is all very much low hanging fruit and I'll add to it when I remember more interesting/quirky ones. BUT here are some things I want to know:

y'know how casey randomly suggests in his autobiography that valentino was sabotaged in the 2006 title decider? so, personally, I don't really buy this, because 'why' and also 'casey girl you are SO paranoid' - though, sure, if given the option I'd like to double check if valentino had a dud tyre (completely plausible) and also if somebody really deliberately gave him one (?? casey idk about this one). but what I'm REALLY curious about is... there's a change in his autobiography?? like I've seen this book excerpt float around online and the text is different from what's in my book!! mine's from the paperback version so I assume there may have been some edits for that, so that would make it the newer version... but like. this is a real editorial change. check this out:

version posted on the internet, from the hard cover edition???

version in my book, first paragraph is the same

But as soon as the lights went out Valentino was in trouble. I was one of six riders to pass him on the first lap and if you watch the footage you can see how much he is struggling to even keep up with us. His rear and front tyres were just not working together and on lap five the front inexplicably folded and he went down, right behind me. I couldn't help but wonder how he could be having such problems with his tyres. Could he really have been stitched up? It seemed so improbable, but I remember watching that race back in the motorhome that evening and thinking, Welcome to my world, mate.

this isn't 'gossip' because I haven't found anyone else who has spotted this, but like? that's a substantive change? if my one really is the newer one? ...?

let's set aside the fascinating insight you get into casey's knotty and at times bizarre valentino rossi complex with him adding the line "welcome to my world, mate" (oh my god. please just take him to dinner. I will crowd fund this I literally just need to be able to listen in. casey come on CALL him I NEED you to do the dinner thing, YOU suggested it not me). like we're not going to even touch that. but if my version really is the updated one, then he's kinda softened his stance, no?? "convinced he was stitched up" to "could he really have been stitched up"

what happened?? who wanted this change? casey? an editor? did dorna give casey a call? did some poor bloke from pr have to politely ask whether casey could please not state in his autobiography that the most popular rider ever had had a title stolen from him by the establishment?

(casey was talking about valentino's stolen tenth BEFORE it was popular. he did it even before valentino did, bless)

"there are a lot of commercial interests in the sport" also didn't make the jump to the 'new version', mind you. did Big America get to casey

come on you guys have to admit this is an odd change?? does nobody else thing this is weird??

okay fine moving on

Did Valentino Literally Curse Sete

(like. not literally as in did he curse curse sete, literally as in did he say it)

(though if he did literally literally curse curse sete, I suppose I'd also like to know that bit)

the commentators in 2003 brno say so and I'm inclined to believe them, but I need to double check whether sete and valentino really were partying on ibiza together right after that very painful valentino loss at the sachsenring. such a fascinating little detail, that's not something post-2004 valentino does I reckon

I mean, look, obviously a bunch of things from that time period I want to have fact checked. including valentino's friend hearing sete say in late 2003 that valentino wasn't going to be smiling so much after joining yamaha. classic bit of gossip, did it actually happen though

I've referenced this a few times before, but y'know how valentino said that marc's manager alzamora told him after sepang 2015 that marc had been angry at valentino for killing his title charge? I just want. to know. if this conversation actually happened. I don't think valentino would pluck a lie like that out of thin air, especially something so specific about somebody on marc's team, and he has known alzamora for decades but like. maybe almazora just said something valentino misinterpreted? I just find this such a bonkers thing from alzamora if it's true that I would like it confirmed for my own sanity, you know?

yeah look I would like to know if marc really did get casey kicked out of honda, obviously I've discussed this before and it's very he said she said but yeah it'd be fun to know the truth

this is literally peak gossip because I can't find a source for it but I swear a journalist did say it: the rumour is that marc blocked joan mir from joining honda in 2019. like, I'm only including this because I was explicitly asked for gossip as I just cannot find where it was said... but it is something that is. out there. and... again, just curious. like I buy it, but also it could be bullshit!

on a similar note, did he ever make clear to honda he didn't want either vinales or rinsy on his team circa 2016? was it just a vibe in the paddock or was this an actual demand from marc?

speaking of!! the whole thing about alzamora basically rigging the moto3 teammate situation between rinsy and alex marquez to ensure the latter won the title that year. what was that all about, how far did they go there

switching to valentino now. this doesn't quite fit the remit of the question because it IS something I've investigated. and my conclusion is basically a big *shrug*

did valentino block casey from joining yamaha in either 2005 or 2006, and did he attempt to block jorge?

there are completely contradictory sources on the timeline here that do make me feel like there's a chance yamaha was just fucking with casey at the very least in 2006 and valentino had fuck all to do with it, which a recent interview from casey did actually hint at too... he made it sound like maybe yamaha was just using him to try to drive down the price of another rider (which would then presumably be jorge)

I just want to know! and the thing is, it was a matter of open paddock discussion that valentino blocked casey (jorge explicitly references it in in 2007), but something doesn't quite add up between what jorge, casey, colin edwards, articles from the time and lin jarvis have said on the subject! my current pet theory is that valentino blocked casey in 2005 from joining the satellite yamaha team in 2006 (weirdly casey doesn't really imply valentino was responsible for this one in his autobiography, but whatever) but NOT in 2006 (casey does imply valentino was responsible here, you see my problem). and yamaha was fucking around with all four of valentino, casey, jorge and edwards in late 2006/2007. but. yeah. I have unanswered questions

the entire 'alex marquez blocked from yamaha' situation.... again. something is off there. you know the story from late last year about how he was blocked in 2019 from joining the petronas team in 2021? this completely threw me, because there was an entirely different story about this YEARS back in 2018!! I initially assumed the two stories were about the same event, but it can't have been! one's him being blocked in 2019 for 2021, one's him being blocked in 2018 for 2019

from the descriptions of both there's also no confusing them. the 2018 story has to be about the 2018 contract cycle because that's quite literally when it was published, and the 2023 story has to be about the 2019 contract cycle because it explicitly references the space fabio would create by moving to the factory team for 2021, which obviously wouldn't make sense before fabio's actual rookie season. like they have to be about different stories

and in that same 2018 story, marc said that back in 2016 lin jarvis told him no marquez would be joining yamaha:

again, this was in 2018!!

plus, he did say back in 2016 that he'd spoken to jarvis, which kinda backs up this is a conversation that did happen and marc isn't just misremembering the timeline/lying (the notion of marc joining yamaha in 2017 is fantastic, what an absolutely horrendous idea):

now what marc says in 2018 about his conversation with lin jarvis is very similar to petronas yamaha boss razali saying in 2023 that he'd been told by yamaha no marquez was allowed at yamaha. suggests that this is a thing that did happen!!

but again... razali was told that in 2019... after marc had already been told the same thing three years before that, and the exact same deal had already been blocked one year earlier... does nobody else think this is weird?? like, I'm not saying yamaha hq covered themselves in glory here, but is it not a little strange the satellite yamaha squad had basically almost signed a contract with the younger marquez again without checking in with yamaha, just ONE YEAR after this same contract had already been blocked???

again this isn't actually gossip because I'm apparently the only person going ?? about this but I'll say it: ??

kinda been annoying me since december last year, like I know it doesn't matter but I'm just curious about it! why's nobody else talking about the 2018 story!

idk my best guess here is that petronas yamaha was faffing about and playing weird games with the factory team, that the deal was never as likely to happen as they made it sound to the marquez camp. zero proof, that's me spreading rumours yeah... time to create some of my own unfounded gossip

(also of course I'm curious if valentino did have any actual involvement in this. like if lin jarvis was telling marc this in the year of our lord 2016, I'm assuming valentino didn't have to explicitly say to jarvis that 'inviting marc to the team for 2017' wasn't exactly high on his christmas wish list. it is interesting that marc frames it as jarvis making this about. like. all the marquez's way back in 2016, and again, would this really have been on valentino's radar at the time? that feels a bit...? alex marquez was thirteenth in that moto2 season? would certainly be very... thorough for valentino to already have had that particular talk with jarvis)

(mind u there's a fun moment in a 2019 presser where valentino is sitting between the two marquez brothers and the younger marquez is being asked about his contract situation, the implication being he'd had a motogp deal and no longer had a motogp deal. and he's answering and marc's doing his freak stare and valentino is Right There sitting between them... I <3 mess)

man did valentino actually ever fucking block anyone from joining his manufacturer #notmygoat. I still think he didn't know about jorge until the deal was basically done, had nothing to do with the younger marquez, at most blocked casey the one time but then yamaha wasn't actually seriously intending on signing casey in 2006 and was just using it as a play in their jorge negotiations, which.... idk. bit disappointing if true icl. I hope he blocked someone, I'll say it

(also. okay. I don't want to sound awful here because I do have a lot of sympathy for baby!casey but. ignoring the morality for a second, I do LOVE the idea that valentino blocked casey from getting a satellite yamaha seat fresh off his 250cc runner up season because it would conclusively prove valentino did ABSOLUTELY rate casey!! like he didn't even want casey to come close to being his teammate!! not even a sniff at his data!!) (genuinely this is the rumour I'm choosing to believe, I know there's a chance valentino didn't successfully block anyone and was just a complete flop but I want the 2005 one to be true. it really adds something to the rivalry idk... like ugh valentino saw how dangerous casey was proper early when much of the paddock wasn't yet convinced... cute)

moving on

there was a rumour in 2015 that valentino approached dani after aragon to complain about how sturdy his defence was, like moaning about denying him points and shit. now, there's exactly one article about this in marca that is the sole origin point for the rumour, and it says that valentino also interrupted a honda party after phillip island to complain to marc. this does not match up at all with anything either marc or valentino have said since then - and would mean you have to believe that marc wasn't actually blindsided by that presser... also feels a bit unlikely we would have heard NOTHING from any other source if vale was really gatecrashing a honda party

of course, neither dani nor valentino have spoken about this supposed post-aragon 2015 meeting either, not even when dani was kinda accusing valentino of hypocrisy during sepang 2015, but I suppose you could say maybe dani's just not the type of guy to bring it up again. however.... I do reckon occam's razor kinda applies here and if one of these stories is bullshit then they probably both are, plus it's not like marca is exactly a neutral source. still would love to be certain!! instinctively I don't really think that's valentino's style at all, but of course it'd be intriguing if the story were true because it'd be a sign of how 2015 kinda messed with him. but I still feel 2015 is more about him falling back on past tools he'd mostly discarded - rather than, like, acting wildly out of character, which again... well, this brings us back to how that kind of behaviour isn't really valentino's style. basically, I don't buy it, but that's kinda why I am so curious about it? because I feel like it would be really interesting and quirky if he had actually done that. does this make any sense

speaking of, again this doesn't really count because I did kinda investigate it last year.... but you know when valentino in that podcast referenced a conversation with marc around the time of sepang 2015, where marc stared blankly at him? I have a hunch about when that conversation happened, want to know if it's right. this also isn't really 'gossip' because this is a conversation I'm having with myself but

y'know when bez was injured on the ranch late-ish last year? a bunch of journalists pointed out how hush hush they were about what actually happened to bez - like they repeatedly drew attention to that because god knows THEY love some gossip lol. which probably means nothing, but I'm curious what the journalists' theory here is, like do they think it was an embarrassing injury?? OR. look. I suppose the conspiracy theory would be that pecco caused it (obviously accidentally!!) and everyone at the ranch knew it'd be a terrible look if they admitted that because of the whole title fight situation. call me casey stoner because those dots are not real and definitely have not been connected

okay, you know how there were rumours in the spanish tabloids bez said some real ugly stuff to marc at valencia last year, and bez didn't directly address it but freaked a little and did a sort of blanket denial that he'd said anything that bad? I don't actually think he did tbh, but again. would just like to check!

while we're already on bez, there was one report that the switch to aprilia was partly motivated by marc to factory ducati. again, not entirely sure I buy that this would factor into his thinking beyond the obvious 'this means the route to that factory ducati seat looks even more closed than it already did' angle'.... it's very much down my list of priorities but I'd quickly confirm/deny it if given the chance yeah

that's all for now lol

[huckleberrykai]

choi yeonjun ~ lost

pairing: choi yeonjun x fem!single mom!reader summary: when yeonjun finds a lost child in the park while trying to clear his head, he goes on a quest to find her mom. genre: strangers to ? , pretty soft warnings: mentions of death, child getting lost, single mom reader, stranger danger, implied stepdad!yj in the future notes: this is kinda bad, i had the idea at work and kinda regurgitated it onto the page at 4am, idk if i like it but i figured i'd post it anyway LOL word count: 1.4k you can read part 2 here: found click here for my masterlist!

yeonjun was tired. exhausted. the last thing he wanted was to go home to his dorm and be bombarded with their noise.

don't get him wrong, he loves his members, but sometimes he just needs some time out.

after his last schedule of the day, yeonjun bid farewell to his members in favour of a drive to his favourite park a little ways away. it was outside of the city, and the scenery was beautiful. just what he needed today.

it was evening, around 6pm, and so he wandered over to the empty children's playground and sat on one of the swings, taking in the fresh air and soft sounds of nature as the sky began to change colours. all of the kids had gone home already, and so he was alone with his thoughts in the silence he had craved all day.

finally some peace. alone.

or so he thought.

just as he observed the blue and pink hues of the sky wash over the trees around him, he felt something on his back. he looked around behind him and saw nothing. he figured he was just being paranoid until he turned to face forwards again and saw a little girl in front of him. he nearly jumped out of his skin at how close she was, and clutched his chest as he let out a quiet yelp.

"excuse me mister"

yeonjun tilted his head to listen. the girl in front of him couldn't have been any older than five. she had long brown pigtails and a sparkly pink tutu, very mismatched against her bright yellow rain boots yeonjun thought.

"hey there, are you okay?" he asked the small girl, planting his feet on the ground so his swing didn't move. he noticed her eyes were red and puffy, and she appeared quite distressed.

"i.. i lost my.. mommy," the young girls lip quivered. she began to cry, seemingly again judging by her previous state.

"hey.. hey hey don't cry," yeonjun stood up from his swing and crouched down to the girl's height, "i'll help you find your mommy okay? what does she look like?" he rubbed her back soothingly as she described you, a woman with h/c hair wearing a purple sweater.

he nodded as she spoke slowly through her tears. he offered his hand to her, "let's take a walk okay? i'm sure your mommy will be around here somewhere. she must be worried about you..."

the young girl nodded and went to take his hand cautiously.

"mommy says i shouldn't talk to strangers. do you promise you'll help me?"

yeonjun nodded. "i pinky promise. i can't leave you out here alone." he offered his pinky to her, with which she linked hers quickly.

"you know.. you shouldn't talk to strangers either! my name is daisy." she said, holding his hand properly as they began to walk around the playground area. "now you know my name i'm not a stranger anymore! what's your name?" she grinned up at him, still teary-eyed and a little snotty. "i'm yeonjun." he smiled softly as she looked up at him.

the pair wandered around the playground area for a while, and yeonjun wondered if daisy's mom had ended up in another part of the park looking for her. just as he was about to suggest looking elsewhere-

"junjun look!! a squirrel!!" she yelled, not quite being able to say his name.

daisy let go of his hand and began running towards the squirrel she had seen. "DAISY! daisy come back! you don't want to get even more lost!"

he caught up with her and grabbed her hand again. "don't run off okay? or else we can't find your-"

"DAISY!!! oh my gosh there you are"

yeonjun turned to see a woman who matched daisy's description running towards her. he let go of daisy's hand as he watched you scoop her up into your arms.

"MOMMY!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE LOST FOREVER!" daisy giggled as you held her tight.

"never run away like that again okay? i was scared to death!"

"mommy, mommy!! this is my new friend junjun!" daisy wriggled around in your grasp to point at yeonjun. "he was helping me find you!"

you looked up from your baby to make eye contact with the man that had been walking around with your child for the last god-knows-how-long. "i'm really sorry we couldn't find you sooner," yeonjun jumped in before you could make any assumptions. "she came to me crying and i couldn't leave her all alone." he bowed to you, being as sincere as possible.

"ah- thank you so much for looking out for her. i don't know what i'd have done if she was lost all alone. thank you, really!" you bowed back to him politely. "usually she isn't this.. talkative. she doesn't like people very much.." you trailed off.

daisy had pried herself from your grip and began to hang on to yeonjun's leg.

"i'm yeonjun by the way," he tried to step forwards, forgetting the child on his leg, to which you just laughed. a pretty laugh yeonjun thought. you stepped forwards and met him in the middle for a handshake. "Y/N."

"Y/N," he repeated. "thats a lovely name."

you, who he now knew to be Y/N, blushed a little. although yeonjun figured he must be seeing things, since the sun was setting further and it was getting darker around them, save for the street lights littered around the park. he took a mental note of how dark it was getting.

"i don't mean to seem nosy but did you drive here? or do you live nearby?" yeonjun asked. "i wouldn't want to leave you two to walk home alone in the dark." he concluded.

"we live about a 20-minute walk away, i'm sure we'll be okay! i don't want to put you to any more trouble!"

yeonjun quickly shook his head. "it would be no trouble at all! i can drive you both home if you like! i know we just met and please don't feel pressured to say yes but-" "okay." you cut off his ramble. you mulled it over a little before agreeing, but if he could take care of your daughter for almost an hour and not murder anyone, what's the harm in letting him drive you home?

yeonjun smiled, just barely showing his teeth. "okay, my car's over there." he pointed towards the entrance.

the three prepared to leave and get into yeonjun's car (with great difficulty prying daisy away from hugging his leg). you put your address into his map and sat daisy in the back seat, before plopping into the front passenger seat yourself.

"thank you so much yeonjun." you commented as he was driving you home. "it's no problem really, i wouldn't want your husband to worry." he smiled, looking in his mirror to check on daisy in the back who was sound asleep. "oh.. i'm not married," you corrected. "ah, i'm sorry for assuming!" he looked over at you for a second as he apologised, a sense of relief washing over him at the fact the pretty lady beside him wasn't married. you shook your head. "it's okay really."

before long you pointed at your house and yeonjun pulled up outside. "thank you so much for your help today. and for getting us home safely!" you bowed to him slightly, still seated next to him in the car. "is there any way i can repay you?" yeonjun shook his head. "oh don't worry about it! i'm happy to have helped you Y/N." he sent a soft smile your way.

"well.. can i take you out to dinner at least?" you asked, not wanting to seem too forward, but wanting a sliver of hope you could stay in contact with your sweet saviour. he was gorgeous after all, and your daughter loved him. he looked surprised, and you thought for a minute he was going to reject you, but then he grinned and nodded. "i'd like that a lot Y/N."

you swapped phone numbers and right as you were about to get out of the car, a sweet voice behind you chimed in. "junjun?"

daisy had woken up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "junjun can you take me to the park again tomorrow?" she asked hopefully. you were about to intervene until- "if your mommy says its okay!"

he had the day off tomorrow anyway, and spending the day with his future stepdaughter (not that he knew that yet) sounded much more fun than staying in the dorms all day.

[remcycl333]

Is putting my awareness on having it the same as feeling it real? I feel like I put too much pressure on trying to feel how I would if I had it in the 3d and that’s where I struggle. I want to manifest moving out and given the circumstances I need it to reflect asap but idk how to feel it real and not panic when the circumstances are all up in my face and taking a toll on me. I’m so sorry if that was a lot, thank you so much for being so patient.

feeling it real doesn't have to feel like happiness or euphoria! sometimes the feeling of knowing doesn't feel like anything. so yes, as long as you're aware of the fact that you have it in imagination, that's enough! i have a friend who manifested her sp, and she said that the whole time she was manifesting her sp she felt anxious about it every day, but she just stood firm in the fact that her sp was hers and it still manifested!

i went through the same thing while manifesting at first. like when i was manifesting my sp a couple years ago, the DAY before he finally reached out to me i was sooo anxious out of nowhere, constantly thinking about how i much be doing everything wrong bc it wasn't here yet, how i needed to start over, how it'd be days without anything, etc, but i'd just talk to myself and be like "no im doing everything right, i already have it, im good, this isn't gonna effect anything bc its mine" etc.

having feelings of anxiety or worry is not a failure on your part, and they won't mess anything up (unless you assume they will). i've read this somewhere, i think it was twitter but i can't remember who said it, but think about anxiety. it's not logical! usually you feel anxious over something that you think will never even actually happen, but you still feel anxious anyway. or i have friends who sometimes say they're super anxious and they don't even know why. i had social anxiety as a teenager and i'd be soo anxious in social settings. what did i think was going to happen? nothing, but i was still anxious for no reason constantly. and my anxiety never manifested, because even i knew it was illogical. it still hindered me in other ways, but it didn't manifest into negative circumstances in my reality!

re-reading your ask i realize u didn't mention anxiety 😭 but im still gonna keep all that in bc i still think you/other people will benefit from those anecdotes! lol

"idk how to feel it real and not panic when the circumstances are all up in my face and taking a toll on me"

in my experience, you don't need to focus on feeling it real constantly! i focus on feeling it real while im imagining, but during the day, i just shift my state when i need to. that being said, there's no pressure to be in the state of the wish fulfilled every second of the day! the main goal is to enter TSOTWF more than the state of lack, but there's also more states you can enter throughout the day! sometimes during the day you're neither in the state of the wish fulfilled nor the state of lack. there's such thing as a neutral state! so if you're panicking and it's hard for you to shift back to your desired state, you can focus on shifting to a neutral state. you can do this by trying to calm yourself down, talking to yourself, meditating, taking deep breaths, etc. if you need to just take deep breaths and think of something else that has nothing to do with your desire, go for it!

if im manifesting something on a time crunch, it always really helps me to just deep breathe and talk to myself, saying things such as "there's nothing to worry about, its mine, it's promised, everything is going to work out perfectly, my 3D is going to change, my inner man already has it and my inner man is me" etc.

i manifested moving out and this was very helpful for me! i dealt with very toxic, narcissistic parents and my family struggled with money for most of my life. sometimes my parents would be yelling at me for no reason and it'd trigger me bc i was manifesting living in my own apartment on my own. in these times i'd focus on remaining calm and staying in a neutral state. eventually it got easier for me and i'd be able to talk to myself in my head while getting yelled at, saying stuff like "im so glad this isn't my life anymore, im so glad i live on my own whew" etc. i'd also imagine that i was just visiting home and i couldn't wait for my visit to be over so i could go back to my own apartment again.

just remember that no matter what happens in your 3D, nothing can stop you from having your desire in your imagination. you moved out in your 4D and nothing can change that! it is fact, and all you have to do is persist in that face. you don't have to gaslight or trick yourself into thinking you moved out in the 3D. you just need to stand firm in the fact you have it in your 4D.

anywayzzz i hope this helps! i hope i answered your question i fear i went on multiple different tangents lol <3

[laylawatermelon]

Y'all i just cracked the davinci code and idk if you're gonna like it.

As a Buddie fan devastated obviously, as a 9-1-1 fan devastated obviously and as a writer absolutely blown away by the finessing they just graced us with.

They literally found a way to make Eddie straight and by God they've done it successfully.

Lemme explain.

I was locked in when he was having the speech with Shannon and didn't get to deep in the emotions (heinous ik but I wanted to hear what he was feeling).

I did get some water wobbles in my chest but that's neither here nor there. I did scream horrifically at the cliffhanger of the show.

Guess the nun did scare the life out of her (and me!) after all! Heeh should've seen that coming honestly but I didn't think they'd go there.

So there's two things I think is gonna happen, one Eddie's gonna go on more straight woman dates (yay 😮‍💨) and Chris is leaving.

Now the second one I'll address first and don't bash me if it's not trueee.

I'll get the Chris one over with. First Gavin, Chris' actor, family moved. Since he's become a main he's had little to no screentime in the show.

What I think has happened in real life it's that Gavin will step away from the show. They have him main to show his importance in the cast and storyline (i can also guess pay raise but I'm not saying that's unreasonable really) before his send off.

Realistically he's a disabled person, a child/minor at that, who i assume has a lot of equipment and things he has to travel with. I can imagine it's not that easy to consistently travel across states with equipment, doctor's appointments, schoolwork etc.

So this is probably his last season for a while.

The birthday party (which can also double as a send off or until next time message) and the promotion/upgrade in role despite not being written as such or having storyline outside of the adults.

(off topic but I'd love a mini 118 hijinks b story with all the kids or a low stakes disaster where they all team up until the 118 get there)

He's been hypocritical to him about cheating and even tarnished his mom's legacy by bringing a fake version of her in his house.

The reason i can say the story can effectively write him off for the first half of next season is that Chris will go with his other family because he feels betrayed by his dad.

He doesn't feel safe anymore (😞😭 I'm making myself sad) so he opts to leave until his dad gets better.

The hospital scene is Eddie realizing what his kid needs isn't a new mom but to trust in his parents and that's now shattered (ooh this starting to feel personal be gone trauma!).

So he'll throw a tantrum (a rightfully deserved one that's my boy😤) and say in anger he doesn't want to be with his dad.

Buck will obviously be there cause yeah Eddie (delusional hubby) clearly needs help in his hour of need and so does Chris.

Eddie will do self isolation. Buck will be there for him (Tommy probably staying too but I'm neutral for this post) but with everything Eddie going through he's gonna be wrecked.

And because Eddie's a (good? Eh so so right now) dad he'll let Chris decide when he wants to return.

Hence the heartbreak.

Boom it solves the Gavin problem where he can probably stay during the summer so maybe mid season 8 or limited role like how they did this season and his family can focus on him/life.

Now the Straight Eddie!

By God he's done it!

You've pulled a real good one. Tim I salute you truly.

Idk how you made a straight man out of him but by his you've done it!

(so did you Ryan I'm watching you!)

Since buddie isn't on the table this season the platonic hasn't been more platonic-er since season 7 episode 1.

The way he did it was so easy and smooth I'm in awe.

This is how he kept and can probably enforce straight Eddie.

This is also how he can not enforce straight Eddie (haha got you).

The line you were the love of my life but I'm living it without you now stuck out to me.

That means he's going to find himself and what he really likes without a partner. Therapy, hobbies all that good ish. Maybe a few dates but def church.

Here's why.

Church has been something he drift away and let's be honest American tv and society is still founded in Christianity and all of its adjacent branches.

You must have God somewhere in there for the older audience to tune in/connect with of it's getting a lil secular (aka the bundle of lgbt characters. They're probably saying at least one of em knows God😮‍💨😮‍💨) /hj

The book of prayers symbolizes him going back to God to find answers about himself.

Anyways for the straight Eddie he can get closer to himself better in his faith and get a nice Christian girl who he matches with and (maybe) even has a kid/ similar background.

Since he's been to therapy and he's let go of the love of his life he's now free to find love in someone else. A new woman. (And truly this time)

(or a man, or they/them)

Yes my queer Eddie agenda rises!

Go FORTH!

BE ONE WITH THE SKITTLES SQUAD!

But seriously though the other way it can go is that he's discovering stuff about himself away from romance. He becomes more comfortable with religion but when confusing feelings (attraction to the same gender anyone for $10?) arise then he'll maybe start to fight his Catholic guilt about it since he's gotten closer to it.

Then he'll have to ask for for forgiveness but not permission for the live he wants to live.

(with buck in a house on the waves! Let me be delusional! I've kept it under wraps this long!)

But anyways they've truly dodged the lgbt fruity storyline.

They've also shown us that yes, Buddie was NOT platonic because I've never felt more friends energy in my life this season.

And what the AuDHD brain says is canon/not canon I vibe accordingly.

The vibes were low. Like a suspiciously low.

Dare I say subtextually low.

That's not happened in the history of buddie this is a code red!

CODE RED!

Okay I'm done btw hate me or whatever! /big J