#but idk what background fabric could possibly work with this

[tj-crochets]

Scrap management! This is all the little scraps from the pride quilt; I do have slightly bigger scraps but I think I’ll use those for something else?

What color or pattern of fabric do you think I could use as a backing fabric for a quilt made with these blocks?

[kozachenko]

[Click image for better quality]

I FIGURED OUT A WAY TO FUCKING MAKE THE IMAGE SMALLER FOR POSTING ON TUMBLR WITHOUT SACRIFICING THE ACTUAL QUALITY OF THE IMAGE OH MY GOD

Ok so, what I did is go into the clip studio paint file, make a new file, copy and paste the group in the original file, merge everything, get rid of the extra stuff outside of the canvas, and then make the flattened image smaller and crop the canvas. Once you have that, export it and you're done. This helps maintain the actual quality of the image and also helps shrink the file size down to something actually postable (if anyone has a better way of doing this please tell me)

[Edit]: Ok I guess posting something to Tumblr just naturally compresses the image a bit more somehow because I'm looking at it now and zooming in too much makes it a bit blurry so I'm still gonna have to futz around with image quality for future pieces oof

Artist's Note:

I'm so glad I figured out a way to do this because I like working on a big canvas so I can get as much detail in as I possibly can. Only problems are how laggy it gets while drawing lol.

I had an idea for a drawing with Reimu and Zanmu because I really like thinking about their potential dynamic a lot. I also wanted an excuse to draw Zanmu again but in my normal rendering style because last time I drew her she was in my more sketchy style with generally flat colours so I wanted to draw her again. Speaking of, looking at the sketch for this is a jumpscare that I never enjoy seeing, like, man am I glad I didn't use those for my final piece.

Also about her spear. I was originally gonna make it like the ones she had in game, but it kinda threw off the whole piece. It was too big, too blue, and too flat, so I just went "fuck it" and gave her a different one instead. My headcanon justifying this is that the ones she uses in game are for danmaku battles whereas in any other fight she just uses a proper yari, or she still uses the yari and just makes it all glowy to power it up, maybe both lol. I pulled as much inspiration as I could from Sengoku era spears, and even put in some blue into the decorative part of the spear and also added a little skull to pay tribute to the original spear. Also, in my research I saw some art of izanami and izanagi making japan and saw that the yari izanagi has had a little decorative tassley thingy on it so I took some inspo from that and just made it one of Zanmu's tassles (Idk when that art was from or if the spear was still accurate to Sengoku period Japan but hey, probably the same reasons Eirin puts little bow ties on her arrows, it's just for personalization purposes).

I love rendering hair and clothes so much omg, while I like the super curly hair Zanmu, the longer, wavier hair suits her better for this drawing (I imagine it only does that like how Ghibli characters hair moves when they feel angry lol). I love making Zanmu's hair all messy and crazy, as well as giving her grey hairs, this woman has aged like a fine wine. Also, if the hem on the ends of her sleeves, top of her shirt, and her pants look like gold to you, that's because it is! It's fairly light so she's not collapsing under the weight, but it's gold! (I don't care how impractical it is, it's just cool). Not the undershirt though, it's made of a gold fabric. I had a cute idea with Reimu's hair to make it have a red shine to it. I also changed up Reimu's outfit so it isn't just a blob of red. I like it a lot when Reimu's skirt and outfit is segmented into different layers, so I wanted to incorporate that.

I tried to draw their hands differently as well, but IDK how noticeable that is. Also, I am super happy with how the side profiles for the two of them turned out, I used to struggle a lot with how to make the side profile of a character actually look like the character, so I'm really happy that they actually look like themselves.

Also added in the tree and rocks in the background as an homage to Zanmu's character art in Touhou 19, just because I was getting kinda stumped on what to do with the background lol.

In terms of a story idea with Reimu and Zanmu, idk why but the potential plotline of Zanmu wanting to ascend to godhood is so fascinating to me. Like, it is very possible that if she just convinced everyone she was a god (which would be very easy for her to do), she would become one in a heartbeat. Also, if she were to become a god, with her ability to return stuff to nothing, could she hypothetically get similar abilities to (Jojo Part 5 spoiler btw) GER? Like, idk about the death timeloop stuff, but the concept has been haunting me every night as I have been trying to find loopholes in GER's ability for a while now ( for no reason in particular). Back to the main topic, I imagine that she would probably tell Reimu that if she were to become a god she would take over the Hakurei shrine since the god there might as well be dead, and Reimu just says to her, "Over my dead body bitch." Like, I have no idea how to summarize their dynamic but like, it's the type of hero-villain dynamic where the phrase "We're not so different, you and I" would definitely be a phrase said during a fight. I think that if another IN style game were to release, Reimu and Zanmu would be in a team together. They could also have an interesting mentor and pupil kind of dynamic. Can you tell that Zanmu has been charging my mind rent these part few months? Like, instead of living in my head rent free, she kinda just uno reversed the whole situation and now she's the one charging me rent. What happens if I get evicted from my own brain? Actually, scratch that, I don't think I wanna know.

[detectivehole]

How can you tell the ghost chicken PETA poster is AI generated? I'm trying to get better at detecting AI images so I would appreciate any advice you might have thank you!

i actually am not 100% certain about the PETA image specifically. i am 90% sure, enough to claim that i think it is, but i want to be fair here- i could be wrong. im not the only person who caught it, but i could be wrong. that being said! i do actually have tips on how to better identify AI generated images. the tips can differ between artistic images and realistic images, but they do overlap

generative AI struggles in three key areas, imo

details

backgrounds

logic

everyone knows the check fingers and teeth, but as the tech improves, those easy indicators have become less reliable (though it still struggles with those features). AI does still flounder with details, though, you just have to look a little closer. checking patterns, textures, and occasionally lighting has been very helpful. it often fails to convincingly make patterned fabrics, and will create inconsistent or unnatural textures on skin, wood, and any other detailed surface. hair especially is a great indicator, since it falls and moves in very specific ways and has a deep level of texture inherently (watching the hair move in very realistic 3d animation can also help you clock it for what it is)

ie. these knives seem to melt into each other

ai seems to prioritize the subject of any generated image, which does make sense, but this often leads to the backgrounds or additional, non-focal aspects to be particularly nonsensical or imperfect on inspection. i struggle to come up with a examples of what exactly to look for here, but i do have a very helpful question to ask yourself when considering whether something is suspicious; in human made art, every aspect is hand made/posed, and the details of any illustration or photography must inherently be considered, at least a little bit. in AI art, no such consideration is taken, because it is incapable of doing do- ask yourself "would a human being do X detail? why? why not?"

ie. these nonsensical wooden details and the warped perspective of the background wall(s?) stand out to me. often the answer will not be a cut and dry "they would never do this," but noticing busted backgrounds is only part of the investigation

this ties into the first two tips, but i think it's worth reiterating that AI often makes illogical choices for how to interpret prompts. it's a pattern recognition machine, not a thinking machine. you know this, we all know this- just looking for things that don't belong or don't make sense can be the first sign something is up

the ghosts are chickens, but what is this meat? thighs maybe, but they almost look like hearts. they certainly don't look like poultry

some other miscellaneous tips

you've probably noticed, but a lot of AI (not all but a lot) has a distinctive style to it now, as generative models cannibalism each others work

companies that use ai usually have a history/reputation for being cheap or untrustworthy, or otherwise are brand new or small (people who want to save as much money as possible)

when generating people, especially realistic people, not only do they tend to have a horrible case of sameface, but they're also often exclusively "attractive" people. idk why. our bias towards beauty, maybe

none of these tips are perfect because a human being could create an AI-like image if they so choose, or i suppose even by accident, but i find them reliable

hope this helps 👍

[slytherinshua]

LIPSTICK STAINS

genre. fluff. warnings. kissing. pairing. husband!chanhee x wife!reader. wc. 1.1k. request. no. a/n. chanhee husband agenda idk what else to say...

Chanhee’s breath was taken away every time he walked into your art studio. Falling in love with you and your paintings had been one of the dreamiest experiences of his life. But now, being able to walk into your little art studio a couple blocks away from your house, visiting you as you worked as your husband? That reality was infinitely more dreamy to him.

He would truly never get tired of any of it. The smell of fresh paint and clean fabric as he walked through the door, the soft classical music that you liked to listen to while creating your paintings— it was all so beautiful to him. Your whole process was unique, and each painting turned out so beautifully different from the last.

You specialized in portraits; another of the many reasons that Chanhee had fallen for you. You had a passion for capturing a person’s emotion and soul in a painting. The way you painted them held such vulnerability, like you were telling a whole story through each stroke of paint to the canvas.

Of course, as you started dating Chanhee, and fell more in love with the man than you thought possible for a person, your paintings slowly found themselves a new muse. He held the title more proudly than anything else. He was a muse for an artist. He was your muse. And, oh, how you loved to paint him.

Chanhee could name about 30 or more paintings that you had done of him over the years. You could name at least 50 more. You only showed him ones when he begged you to. And he always wanted to see when he was aware you had painted him again— which is why you stopped telling him. 

You didn’t mind showing him the ones you were proud of, but you never felt like your art was really good enough. Chanhee strongly disagreed, though. He always praised your paintings as if you were the next Leonardo Da Vinci (which, in his mind, you were). You had a secret stash of scrapped or unfinished paintings of your husband which only you were aware of. It was like a small treasure trove— and you had full intention to fix and finish each one of the paintings over the course of time.

You were working on one of those unfinished paintings when Chanhee walked in. He always knocked softly on the wall to alert you of his presence since there was no door to your painting room. You easily got zoned into your paintings and were easily startled by loud noises or suddenly appearing husbands who wanted back hugs. (Not that Chanhee knew from experience, or anything.)

You hummed softly when you heard his knock, a small sign to Chanhee that you were aware of his presence and that he could come in. You were focused on applying a burnt orange colour to the background of the painting, and your husband watched you with a smitten smile on his face. When you finished applying the orange and put down your paintbrush, turning around to him, his smile widened.

“What are you painting today?” He asked curiously, seeing the beautiful mess of colours on the large canvas. It wasn’t immediately noticeable to the naked eye that his face would soon be on that canvas as well. Your art style was always a mix of mediums and colours. You never liked to do just simple portraits— there always had to be something special about it.

“Take a guess?” You walked towards him, easing your arm around his waist and leaning into his side. He reciprocated the hug, resting his chin on the top of your head.

He hummed, “Perhaps a certain Choi Chanhee?”

You scoffed, “No way. I’ve painted him too many times already. His face is getting boring.” You said, glancing up at your husband with a teasing glimmer in your smile. Chanhee rolled his eyes and squeezed your waist gently, showing his unamusement with your little joke. He took your face in his hands, leaning down a little, staring straight at you with his shiny eyes.

You were expecting a kiss, but instead Chanhee just looked at you seriously for a few seconds before cracking a small smile, “You could never get bored of my face.” He whispered.

He was right. He knew he was right, and a surge of confidence ran through him as soon as he saw colour creep up to your cheeks at his whispered remark. You really shouldn’t have allowed him to have free access to your studio at any time. Not only was it distracting to have the prettiest man on Earth looking at you so fondly as you worked, but you also froze up under his gaze, often resulting in works you were less proud of.

“My paint is getting dry.” You mumbled, trying to pull his hands from your blushing cheeks. He was stubborn in keeping his face close to yours, though.

“I’m not leaving without kissing my wife.” He said simply.

You gave in— really it was almost impossible to resist Chanhee for as long as you had. You leaned up and pressed your lips to his, sighing in content as he deepened the kiss, hands sliding to hold your jaw softly. Your hands were on his shoulders, grounding you so you couldn’t get lost in the feeling of his lips.

The first time you pulled out of the kiss, Chanhee’s lips found yours again quicker than you could get a word in, causing both of you to giggle. The second time, you were sure you would be able to escape— but Chanhee’s hands had slid down to your waist, and held you securely so that you couldn’t end the kiss before he was ready.

Once you finally pulled away for the third time, you were both slightly out of breath. Chanhee seemed satisfied and let go of you, though you didn’t walk away from him immediately. You caught your breath first, still resting your hands on your husband’s shoulders, laughing at each sharp exhale of his breath and how the kiss had left you with a swarm of butterflies in your stomach.

“I’ve got to get back to painting, love. Pick me up for dinner, okay?” You grinned at him. He hummed and nodded, waving goodbye to you before he could further distract you. 

As he left, you noticed the slight smudge of your lipstick to the side of his lips. You smiled to yourself, picking up your paintbrush again, deciding that a kiss mark was just what this painting needed.

↳ tbz taglist: @yeonjuns-redhair,, @cyberpunksunwoo,, @cosmicwintr

[lov--vey]

A (not-so) lazy Sunday afternoon.

What he thought were just innocent kisses, were about to be so much more. You wanted to jump his bones since the moment you saw him so focused on the match. He is so attractive when he is all serious and concentrated.

Author’s note: Idk what even is this, this was very rushed. I was just mad at the lack of Chenle stuff here. 

Info: Chenle x female reader, established relationship

Genre: fluff, suggestive, smut, MDNI

Content: playful teasing, kissing, making out, dry humping?

Word Count: 667 

You and Chenle were sitting on the sofa in the living room of your shared apartment. He was watching basketball on the TV and you were scrolling on your phone. It was a lazy Sunday afternoon. You both were lounging after your routine weekend cleaning.

“Kissing your partner is good for your mental health” you read out loud from your phone’s screen. “Good or bad, if it was possible to kiss you forever without getting tired, I would'', he blurted out nonchalantly. You furrowed your brows as it sounded too cheesy and unusual for Chenle to be saying something like that and you knew he realized it too as you saw him zoning out looking at the center table and not the TV anymore. It was actually amusing. “Oh” you teased him, he glanced at you. “I wonder if it would be just kissing though” you mused loudly, raising your eyebrows, eyes still on your phone. It was always so fun to tease him because of how worked up he gets and you barely ever get a chance like this because he is usually snarky like a mischievous cat. He snatched your phone from your hand and put it under the pillow behind him. You didn’t protest and just giggled, still finding his antics amusing. He gave you an annoyed look and you shrugged, feigning innocence. You couldn’t hold back your laughter for long though. His features softened looking at you laughing like a little idiot. Then you both looked at each other not saying anything, holding the gaze. The sound of the match and the clock ticking fading the background. Your eyes shifted to his lips and back to look into his. He leaned in as you closed your eyes. He just placed his lips softly on yours and pulled back. You looked at him, eyes playful, and he did it again, this time quickly, taking you by surprise. And then, snap, as if it was your cue, everything was too quick. You can show him a little surprise too. What he thought were innocent kisses, were about to be so much more. You wanted to jump his bones since the moment you saw him so focused on the match. He is so attractive when he is all serious and concentrated and you couldn’t hold back anymore. You quickly got onto his lap, straddling him. He saw the glint in your eyes and crashed his lips onto yours as you held onto his shoulders. You fiercely made out for a few more minutes and moments later, you were grinding on his lap. He wasn't able to hold back and his hips bucked up into yours and you both moaned together at the feeling. You kept on kissing him when he tried taking his shirt off. "Wait..." you insisted, breaking the kiss and pleading with your eyes. Before he could say anything, you got back to kissing him, moving to his jaw, his neck, peppering kisses up to his earlobe and pulling it between your teeth. He couldn't help the whimper he let out, you knew what he liked very well. You began moving your hips in circles and all the blood came rushing down to his dick. The friction from his bulge under the fabric of his sweatpants was sending tingles to your core. The sound of his soft whimpers and groans gave you butterflies and you could feel your panties getting soaked. You hoped he didn’t feel it because he wouldn’t stop teasing you if he did. But of course it was in vain as you were wearing thin leggings. He could probably see your wetness on the fabric of his sweatpants. He moved his hands to your waistband but you held both of his wrists and pinned them to his sides. "Let's not…...this time," you shook your head, breaking the kiss once again. You had something else in your mind. 

This was different. You guys have never done it like this before. The image of it so hot in his head. So he decided to let you take the lead and see where it went. "So.......tell me" you whispered next to his ear, making him shudder and grinding down harder this time. “It c...could never be just kissing” he exhaled, grabbing your waist tightly and feeling the way you smirked on the skin of his shoulders……

A/n: Hope you enjoyed; comments, likes and reblogs are appreciated <3.

[sunsents]

Library - James Potter (M)

Heyyy, hey, how ya'll doing?? My exams are over!! Thank you so much for the support and the lovely messages 😙 here's a kith. I know you guys are waiting on Empty part 2, so here's a really short unedited thing?? I wrote a few months ago for you guys to read while you wait. You can really see how much I improved with my recent writing, but I hope you all enjoy this nonetheless while I finish up Empty 2. Enjoy, or don't. Idk.

Summary —> A study sesh turns into something much more when two knuckleheads interrupt you.

Pairing: jamespotter x fem!reader (im sorry to frederick for neglecting my gingeritis religion.)

Word count: a mere 1.4k

Warnings: smut / just filthy sex honestly / cheeky lil breast action /

Rating: 18+

DON’T REPOST MY WORK

You made sure to neatly pile your hoard of essay papers and not mind the ink blotches your palm had left from the hours of work put within. It didn't matter, Slughorn cared about the content rather than esthetic, hopefully. It was no big matter to worry about you told yourself, your handwriting was messy and not the most appealing, but your handiwork in potions was quite the opposite, it was fine.

"Hey ____, still workin' on those?" James Potter's husky voice cracked like a whip in-front of your face, perhaps painful to your ears as well.

You glowered at him, what else were you supposed to do? His antics continued to worsen every day. "What do you want?" your nasally voice caused you to clear your throat, evidence perhaps that you hadn't left the library seat and spoke in hours.

"Just checking in." Sirius Black's pool of hair - black as well - was turned the opposite way, he was gazing at the library books, a most unusual sight for him. "Didn't want you melting outta boredom."

"I'm perfectly fine thanks." you snapped, your head rung in awful thumps of pain but you paid no attention to it.

The corners of James's perfect lips lowered playfully. "You're all snappy, we're doin' nothing." his tone was smooth as silk now, his lips tugging into a playful grin once again. Never was a grin not on James's handsome face.

You took a deep inhale while watching him, you had to anyways. Your fingers were fidgeting together under the table, a view James couldn't hopefully see but the way your rings clicked together made him painfully aware. "Just don't bother me till' I'm done, I'm almost finished."

James nodded, his bottom lip jutting out in a frown once again. You had to roll you eyes, had to do something to make it seem like you weren't enjoying their so called company.

You stretched your head back and enjoyed the feeling of your neck craning and extending for a few moments. It had been a some time since movement was made in your fatigued body. you figured your tied up hair wasn't going to keep intact much longer, so you released the band in a swift move. Your hair cascaded down all the same, then you quickly shot straight and continued to write.

You didn't have time for comforts and stretching, you were close to finishing your essay and that was all that mattered. You didn't even bother asking James if he had done it, because his answer was surely at the ready. He was Head Boy and his marks were all excellent, but when it came to homework it was long forgotten to him.

A slight diversion caused you to look up, James and Sirius were on the ground and a few books had fallen, scattered around the wooden library floor. You scoffed then flicked your wand; the books magicked up and flew back to their original places. "One second and you guys make a mess." you stared, your eyes flashed dangerously. You weren't an intimidating person, at least you liked to think so much unlike what your friends said.

But surely, you easily managed to intimidate the two most popular boys in Hogwarts. They both quickly shot up and took the seats in-front of you. Sirius was apologetically looking down, unlike James who immediately relaxed and sprawled himself out on the plush cushions. Ass, you thought, but didn't say anything.

"Alright what do you want, really." you deadpanned, you knew them for seven years, they weren't fooling you.

James, who was busy wiping his glasses on the fabric of his sweater put them back on and smirked. "You." he simply said.

You rolled her eyes and scoffed all the same, though your stomach was erupting in butterflies. "James why don't you go bother Lily like you always do." you whispered, Madame Pince was glaring at them and you weren't going to risk getting kicked out of the library again.

"No," James started, Sirius merely watched the interaction play out with a smile. "why would I go t'her when I have you right here."

You shot up and squeezed your fists, you weren't going to fall for it, a phrase you had been telling yourself for the past two years when James's interest suddenly piqued on you. "I'm gonna go put these books back."

After pressing the three large books to your chest, you wasted no time getting far away from the two boys as possible. Your heartbeat was rapid, dangerously fast that you thought you might drop dead.

It wasn't much time until you reached the furthest corridor of bookcases, luckily this was the row where you had acquired the books. You walked to the middle and stood on your toes, reaching your hand up and letting the books fly back to their original places. Then, the next book, same process. You were going awfully slow, doing your best to avoid talking to James as much as you could so your burning cheeks could go cool down and your heart would stop trying to thump out of your chest.

The third book, so close to being done until a presence suddenly overpowered you. It was right behind you and awfully familiar, towering over your stretched figure. James' cologne was what gave it away so suddenly, "Let me." his tone was going in spirals, once husky, then silky and now this. Breathless, strained and somehow desperate.

What you didn't realize was your skirt lifting up when you stood tip toe on your legs, your years of Quidditch clearly visible on your body. At least for James anyways. You heard him swallow thickly, then a muscular arm towering over her figure and pushing the last book up.

James sucked in a breath.

It was dizzying, you were never this close to him. A new territory, unfamiliar and intimate, not to mention exciting. Sure he flirted but he never took it too far, you didn't know what to think of it either. He was confident while "flirting" with Lily, he held his chest high and cracked jokes which only made the Lily blush deeper and continue to insult him. His ego boosted whenever Lily would try to hide away her blush, and the usual row of girls on the background sighing with her. It was somehow annoying, seeing James so buttered up.

James exhaled harshly.

But with you it was different, James was the one blushing. An unusual sight, James Potter being flustered but it was true. He would even stutter at times if you playfully flirted back, which happened very rarely. He would start off confident, and it would die down in a matter of seconds.

James was breathing almost heavily now.

You felt proud at sometimes, you even believed that James maybe would be harboring feelings for you. But then that big ole clump in your head would yell 'why would he, he's James Potter. Also, he's been in love with the same girl for years.' and all that hope would dissolve away.

James groaned desperately.

So frankly, you didn't know how you ended up with your skirt hiked up your waist, panties messily tucked aside and thick cock buried to hilt between your walls and continuously slamming into that one, dizzying spot. James' hands slithered around your waist and his arms tightly encircled on your stomach to press. You could feel every single muscle. Every single muscle to from stomach, down his thighs and the flesh between them.

He pressed his chest on your back, whispered the filthiest phrases he could think of to make you writhe, told you how pathetic you were for letting him do this in a ruddy library. Maybe this was what caused him to run a hand up your chest and clasp his hand around your throat. "Keep quiet, don't want anyone seeing you like this." he had told you, and it was the slight roll of his hips that made you unable to answer and barely take it.

You babbled, drooled, worshipped his cock with your sopping cunt until he was telling you that he loved you. He pulled on your chin to kiss you, sloppy and wet and he didn't let you answer. His glasses were pushed behind, rocking back and forth with his body, dangerously close to falling off. He was gorgeous and with your hands propped on the library shelves, you whimpered an "I love you." back. The two of you came, claiming each other and lazy smiles knowing that the feelings the both of you harbored was reciprocated, and the possibility of having something more was true.

[realcatalina]

(this will be multiple asks, apologies) but I was looking at the painting of juana by juan de flandes and trying to figure out what she's wearing on her head. the closest thing it looks like to me is the golden cap or goldhaube that you see in cranach paintings (from 1520s) but its the wrong type of fabric and too early. but when i looked close, there are some very sharp black lines on the side of her face that looks like it was painted over. (1)

also on the side of her head, the shadows look a little weird and off color, like originally the red and gold cap she's wearing came further over her head, and was painted out. the shading in the painting is generally really weird--why does her dress look copper on one side? i've never seen 16th century fabric dyed like that. the lighting difference would have to be extreme, but it doesn't look so in other parts of the painting. what do you think? love your blog! (2)

Imo Juan de Flandes's painting of Infanta, might be Juana also(despite looking so young) and not Catherine of Aragon:

However I shall asume you mean Juana's portrait from Kunsthistorisches Museum in Wien, Austria:

Back to your questions. I will first adress the weird discolouration of the dress.

The dress white on one side and dark on the other is indeed weird, and most likely that is due to something going serious wrong with the pigments. The light comes from left, and it is right side and armpit and under breasts where shadow and more copperish colours are. So the shadowy part turned brownish copper. So this is darkening of pigments.

As for the headwear, as those in Cranach portraits:

Which are of later date, as you pointed out. It is possible Juana was inspired by its predecesor, experimenting with fashion. She also might have been pregnant and dress slightly differently than normally.

However, I agree with your observations that some parts of painting look overpainted. After inspecting it closely I must conclude that such headwear was never there in first place.

If we look at Juan de Flandes' work, no matter if he chose strong or little shadowing(more used in religious paintings, but not entirely), he never got shadows wrong, and his hair were always nicely done.

So it is very unlikely he'd do so many mistakes, which we can spot in HD(most of which you pointed out):

On left(marked by grey), black line extend even above headwear, so it is not black lining of the headwear. That's alteration.

By red I marked the much darker coppery line fallowing her hair, which is also alteration.

White I used to mark too light spots in place where should only be a shadow(definitely altered) and on right by brown I marked where there should be more shadow(also alteration).

One could say that some of these were done when background was repainted and somebody accidently went over her hair and then tried to fix it. But if we compare both sides of the headwear, there is no hint on one side being closer to the light. They are exact same shade, they have been altered:

Eleanor of Austria's cofia de tranzado in portrait in same museum was painted over by somebody at same point. (I am not saiyng museum itself repainted it, but perhaps they got portraits from same collection to some idiot had access to prior.)

But had it been cofia de tranzado, Juana would have worn her hair differently(covering her ears at those days). Imo she most likely had them styled like this:

And bits of that ribbon on top of head matches roughly what was being painted over. If it was cofia at Juana's time(non imprisoned), they'd have to repaint way more than this.

Not sure what the alterations on left were. Hiding her ear? Mistake? Or possibly different angle originally revealing bit of that hair wrapped in ribbon on left side too? Idk.

If you now focus on part where more of ribbon and hair should be, there are similiar shadows, so probably altered also.

I must say nicely spotted. I have not realised this painting was altered sooner, and I will update my post about Juana's depictions.

I will delete the 2nd part because I already answered it here. It's easier this way. I hope you've enjoyed it.

[swtorpigeons]

Anyway a while back I was working on a little story of my Sith Warrior and Inquisitor meeting and idk if I'll finish it but I do like the beginning so I'll post it here under the read more :)

The first thing Umyon noticed about Darth Nox was how small she was.

He wasn’t surprised that she was an alien - she was all everyone had been talking about for the last long while, after all: the Rattataki apprentice, from a slave background, of all things, who had defeated first her master - and then the master's master. She was now the youngest ever member of the Dark Council. Apparently, she even had a Dashade doing her bidding, as well as her own personal cult of worshippers.

Umyon wasn't jealous. He wasn't.

All right, he was a bit jealous.

Mostly, however, he’d been curious to meet this mystery Sith. Apparently she’d been appointed shortly after he’d been officially recognised as the Emperor’s Wrath, when he’d defeated Baras in front of the Council. He’d felt a little bitter about missing the alleged spectacle her duel with Thanaton had been, but he’d been at the other end of the galaxy at the time, putting an end to some small faction of traitors to the Empire.

Umyon knew, of course, that this was his strength: he was a one-man-army, able to singlehandedly lay waste to battlefields with nothing but a lightsaber and his own bloodlust. But as far as that had gotten him - and it was quite far - it felt as though his title as Wrath rendered him little more than a particularly well-kept attack dog, lately. What did it matter whether it was the Hand or the Council who held his leash?

So when Darth Nox had requested his presence to assist her on Yavin 4, the prospect of meeting her had been more enticing than anything she might want his help doing.

Still. He’d expected her to be… bigger.

Her reputation was so huge, it felt wrong that Umyon was staring down at a skinny little woman, the top of whose head barely reached his collarbones.

It wasn’t just her size, though; something was off about her.

Unlike Umyon, who only wore armour when he had to, and really would prefer walking around in as little as possible, the only part of Darth Nox not covered by fabric was her face. The rest of her was hidden behind several layers of expensive-looking robes in dark greens and turquoise, with some kind of shimmering quality that made their colours shift a bit in the sunlight. It gave off the impression of a small, glittering insect. She looked up at him, and he was struck by how soft her features were.

Was he supposed to be scared of this cute little lady? Sure, her skin was chalk-white and she wore a lot of piercings and tattoos on her face - a Rattataki thing, apparently - but how could anyone be afraid of a tiny beetle-girl with a button nose?

[thehouseoflamentation]

how about a solomon/f! mc breeding fic where solomon picks mc to breed because her angelic bloodline? being descended from angels is no small thing& if past scenes said anything, mc's magic potential is through the roof &any little sorcerers begotten from their union would be Hella powerful. I can just see a smug solomon pulling all "witch after your firstborn" vibes. as for kinks, idk, blowjob (for ritual purposes ; ) ), and most important!! no sappiness only lust & doing it for science/power

One Solomon fic hold the sugar coming right up!

Making a Sorcerer’s Firstborn (Solomon x Fem!MC) ~NSFW~ |BREAD|

Solomon had always wondered what made you special ever since he met you that first day at RAD. As one of the most powerful sorcerers the world has ever seen, it’s clear why he was chosen for the exchange program but you were a different case. At first glance you seemed to be….well, an ordinary human. Nothing wrong about that but also nothing extraordinary either. Then again, despite what looks might suggest you had managed to make pacts with some of the highest ranking demons in the devildom, a feat no typical human would be able to accomplish in such a short amount of time. Solomon started to wonder if there was something he wasn’t quite picking up here, a part of you that you’ve been hiding from others, some kind of extra edge. It wasn’t until that fateful day at the Demon Lord’s Palace that things started to become even more interesting. For the first time he saw just how powerful your magic potential was. Being able to increase a demon’s power was one thing but to strengthen Asmo to such an extent that he changed his mind about making a pact with you? There was no way he could ignore something like that.

When news quietly started to spread that one of the human exchange students wasn’t so human after all Solomon knew he had to get to the bottom of your secret. He would have never suspected that you came from an angelic bloodline but the theory held up. It explained why you had such a high magical potential despite the fact that you didn’t even know magic existed until a few months ago. A part of him couldn’t help but envy you but at the same time he wondered how powerful a child created between the both of you could be. With your lineage and his background in magic there was no doubt that your child would grow to have a strong inclination for magic, possibly even surpassing that of their parents. As intrigued as Solomon was at that thought he didn’t think you would ever agree to such a proposal. Bearing his child for the sake of prospect and power sounded absurd! Then again as someone who managed to convince 72 demons to form pacts with him, how hard can it be to persuade a human of all things?

“So...let me get this straight. You want to take advantage of my angelic bloodline and impregnate me to create an extremely powerful magic baby?”

“Yes”

“I’m in”

“WaiT REALLY?!??!”

“On one condition”

“....go on”

“I want you to teach me the breeding spell”

“Oh?” Solomon’s lips curled into a smirk once he heard your terms. He knew quite well what that spell was capable of and found it rather ironic that someone who was part angel could be so sinful. Nevertheless, he accepted your offer and extended a hand towards you.

“Deal”

Back in Purgatory Hall neither of you wasted a moment getting started. What began as a few kisses quickly escalated to bites and hickeys as the two of you rushed to remove your clothes. Taking a seat at the edge of the bed, Solomon placed his hands on your shoulders pushing you down to your knees in front of him. Undoing his belt and zipper you stripped him to his boxers and began licking him through the fabric, your saliva mixing with his precum. Solomon hissed as your tongue ran over a particularly sensitive spot along his length. It wasn’t long before the outline of his hardened dick became visible through his boxers and once that last remaining piece of cloth was gone so was your restraint. Without a shred of hesitation, you took the head of his cock into your mouth and began swirling your tongue around it earning a rather audible groan from the sorcerer. Once you worked your way down to the base, his hand brushed some of your hair behind your ear before tilting your head up to look at him. Your eyes were glazed, the only emotion that shone through them was lust, a feeling Solomon knew all too well from dealing with Asmo.

You were so given to your desires you didn’t even notice Solomon recite the breeding incantation until you felt a rush of heat pool in your stomach and between your legs. The sudden increase in sensitivity sent shivers down your spine making you pause in the middle of your actions, something that wasn’t taken so well by your partner who was just as equally as affected as you were. Delving his fingers between your locks Solomon gripped your hair and continued where you had left off, thrusting his hips as he held your head in place. His speed was slow at first but the impact was enough to snap you back into reality. You struggled to match his pace as his thrusts grew more and more erratic, each movement pushing the tip of his dick further towards the back of your throat. Craving even more stimulation you let one of your hands slip beneath your underwear, slowly rubbing circles around your clit while your other hand played with your nipple. Your stifled moans made the walls of your throat clench and vibrate against Solomon’s cock, driving him to the edge as his salty, bitter seed coated your mouth and dripped down your chin.

Staring up breathlessly at Solomon you felt his hand gently stroke your hair, a rather tender expression considering his previous actions and those that would soon follow.

“Such a good little slut~ Already a mess when we’ve barely even started...”

Taking you in his arms, he lifted you onto the bed and spread your legs apart. You were already so wet, so ready for him, and yet he still felt the need to tease you a bit. Resting his head against your thigh he lapped the juices around your entrance and stroked your clit with the tip of his tongue enjoying the way your body squirmed and cried out at his touch. Pushing you even further to your breaking point, he slipped two of his fingers inside of you and watched as you gripped the sheets each time he curled them or rubbed against your walls.

When he finally pulled away it was only to replace his fingers with something much longer and thicker. You could feel his length throbbing against your entrance and, being in heat, you couldn’t help but rub yourself against him to gain even the smallest amount of friction and relief as your body pleaded for him to just take you. Solomon merely chuckled at your enthusiasm and toyed with your impatience even more as he slid the head of his cock inside you at a painfully slow pace. Once he was half way inside he finally gave you what you wanted, mercilessly ramming the rest of his cock inside you until you reached the base. His hips slammed against yours recklessly as you wrapped your legs around him urging him to hit your deepest parts. Keeping his pace, Solomon buried his head in the crook of your neck leaving behind bite marks and hickeys wherever his mouth left your skin. You could feel the heat of his breath as he leaned towards your ear, his lips twisted into a smirk as he spoke once again.

“I didn’t think you’d be so desperate to be bred MC. The way you have those demon brothers wrapped around your finger, you could have gotten fucked by any one of them if you wanted. But instead you’re here with me taking me in so well.... Tell me MC, with how tight you’re squeezing me, are you sure I’m the only one who wants this baby?”

You barely had the concentration or the time to reply as you felt your climax just beyond your reach. All you could do was moan and cling to Solomon in response to his words which, to him, was the best kind of answer you could give. Grabbing onto your hips for more leverage his thrusts became more reckless with each passing second. The heat growing within your core felt unbearable as your body grew closer and closer to release. After brushing against a particularly sensitive area, your walls became tighter which only made Solomon pound into your sweet spot even harder. With one last deep thrust you had both reached your limit. As you came you could feel his length throb inside of you as his warm load filled you and dripped onto the sheets. When you had finally milked every last drop of his cum, Solomon pulled out only to flip you onto your back and reposition himself at your entrance once again.

“Don’t think we’re done just because round one is over. We’ve got a baby to make and until the spell wears off we’re gonna make the most out of every second.”

Neither of you remember how many times you had sex the next few days but with the sheer amount of cum that was poured into you there was no doubt that you would bear Solomon’s baby soon enough. On the last day of the spell when its effects had finally weakened the two of you finally got some rest, dazed and exhausted from your time together.

“Y’know Solomon, I’ve been thinking...”

“Hm?”

“If this kid has white hair….how are we gonna break it to Mammon that it’s not his?”

“FUCK”

[lokislittlesigyn]

// loki spoilers

This is basically a huge infodump on my thoughts about the first episode, because I doubt y’all want to sift through my trauma-ridden ramblings. I’ll make another post for the rest. This is just everything not related to the IW stuff/my reaction to that. It’s general thoughts, theories, musings.

1. When Loki gets first taken into the TVA. Is that Peggy Carter in the background? Others have suggested it might be. What would that mean??? Will we see the TVA fix the mess the Russos made with Steve/Peggy (not likely) or is it just a lookalike? Who knows..

2. A skrull at the main intake desk! Idk not super relevant just interesting!

3. I’m kind of glad they changed the... uncomfortable scene... with the robot burning his clothes off. He gets more time to react to seeing the machine itself, and he seems more shocked (”Now.. H-hang on just a minute.”) than angry (”Now hang on just a minute!”) i still feel.. horrible for him, i’m glad nobody Saw him and that the machine didn’t grab the clothes off, but still. Ehhh.. uncomfortable.

He is beautiful though, don’t get me wrong - I’d just prefer a shirtless Loki scene where he wants to be shirtless? let him do what he wants with his body?? he’s probably felt so out of control of his body, from being jotun to falling through space that any invasion of privacy like that hits extra deep...

That being said, I recognize the utility of the scene for the narrative - his lack of control, his literally being stripped of what he was before.

4. WHO IS THE MAN WITH THE CAT. What is his name. I love that he has a mug with his cat on it. But I want to know more. Who is he?

4.1 WHY DIDNT YOU LET LOKI PET THE CAT Please,,, I am begging you,,, let loki pet the cat and have something react kindly to him and purr all happily at his scratching behind their ears plea s e

5. The info sheet. Now this is just a little nitpicky tidbit, but in a previous promo they listed Loki’s height as 6′4 ft and weight as 525 lbs. This is taken directly from the comics if I’m not mistaken. However, in the actual show he’s listed as  6′2 (Tom’s height and Loki’s presumed height) but I don’t remember if his weight is the same. Is Loki 6′2? 6′4? please let me know i want to know how smol i am in comparison

6. His little aggressive shaking of the ticket at the guard makes me giggle each time.

7. The fact the turnstile hits so low on him reminds me,, I am short compared to him. Those things hit my stomach/waist. That one hit his legs. I am once again asking Loki to pick me up.

8. The cartoon with Miss Minutes introducing the TVA is wonderful, I love the art style especially. But it raises questions about Variants... I guess Variants can just, pop out of nowhere? Any action could be the wrong one? And then once you commit the wrong action you either get returned or pruned? Yikes??? And THIS ties into another thing later!

9. The trial scene. I have a hunch - a feeling, a suspicion. That one of three things may be true.

A. The Time-Keepers never actually existed. They’re fabricated, and now whoever runs the TVA is actually using the excuse of “The Time-Keepers decree it so!!!” to carry out whatever They think is right. The fact we haven’t seen the Time-Keepers makes me.. suspicious...

B. The Time-Keepers existed, but they have since passed on, however that may have happened. Now someone is doing the same as above, using the excuse of the Time-Keepers apparent dictations to run things.

C. The Time-Keepers do exist, and do run the timeline/TVA, but maybe they’re not infallible? Maybe the TVA info video is lying or incomplete in some way? Idk I just feel like, something about the TVA and how they run things has to be wrong. It has to? Something is off. Again, this will tie into another thought later...

I have no idea if any of these are actually true! But Loki’s questions of “Who’s in charge here? What do they do? What do you do?” punctuated by laughter leads me to believe he’s suspecting something too, or perhaps just trying to figure this mess out.

10. Seiðr/Magic. We see in this scene, Loki’s magic (”powers”) don’t work in the TVA. (and a quick side note, did he have to Flex like that? do you have to make me see Loki’s bare arms Flex like that? be still my heart. anyway please get that collar off of him and let him rest for five minutes) This makes me wonder.. Why isn’t Loki in his Jotun form? His pale skin and blue eyes are decided by magic, are they not? I suppose this is 2012, so perhaps Odin’s magic is keeping Loki looking like that. But if magic doesn’t work in the TVA, why would his spell reach so far? Clearly Loki’s magic isn’t what’s doing it. How is Loki not appearing as a Jotun? Is his Jotun form repressed - is pale skin his default now, rather than something hidden by magic? I need answers!

11. he sounds so scared about being “reset” please dont hurt him,,

12. cALLING LOKI A PUSSYCAT? (lokitty confirmed) I think Mobius was goading him (Mobius strikes me.. As extremely clever. He’s trying to push Loki’s buttons to see who he’s dealing with. At least, I hope so. Because if he really meant that “You were born to cause pain and suffering and death... All so that others can achieve the best versions of themselves.” and that line about killing Frigga??? No no no he is not guilty. He had no way of knowing what would happen. It wasn’t right to send Algrim up to Asgard (i think algrim wouldve found the way up anyway) but there was no intent to hurt Frigga. I really hope you’re trying to goad him, Mobius, because if you believe that I trust you much less. anyway i digress) but wow is he pushing Loki’s buttons a lot. I can’t... Blame him entirely, I understand he’s trying to make sure Loki’s on his side, maybe I’m just too soft for Loki idk. But some of that was very cruel to say. /:

12.1 AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT MOBIUS. That scene with the girl in the church?? Did that little girl kill the men? Is that young Sylvie? Or is she using an illusion to make herself look young and innocent? What’s going on!!!!

13. LOKI SNATCHING THE LITTLE TIME-TWISTER DEVICE AND STOWING IT IN HIS POCKET.... POCKET....... sorry sometimes i get so caught up about loki that i just say random words in between little noises and squeals,,, i am a silly thing

14. CASEY. CASEY??? That whole exchange is funny. Poor Loki, just trying to intimidate this guy so he can escape but - Casey doesn’t know what a fish is. to be fair.... thor doesn’t seem to know what a raccoon is... right?

15. That bit with the infinity stones is kind of funny until you realize

A. Natasha died for a paperweight

B. Tony died from paperweights

C. Loki was tortured for paperweights

D. Oh, and Gamora died for a paperweight too. And Vision. Need I go on?

Then it becomes less of exclusively “haha funny” and now it’s a mix of funny and pain and gosh, is that a good way to sum up being a Marvel/Loki fan sometimes...

16. Loki gazing at the timeline all “Is this the most powerful thing in the universe?” or something, i’m sorry i don’t remember exactly... made me think of a meme and i shall make it presently.

17. I love that Loki got to see examples of how his family loves him but the fact he’s all “I can’t go back.” really just breaks me. It’s like he can finally see they love him after all of this mess, and now he doesn’t have the chance. Please, please let him be happy. Give him some relief. This is the Loki that just came off finding out about being Jotun, falling from the Bifrost, encountering Thanos, attacking Earth, facing defeat, and now he’s being thrashed around in this wild place and has just found out he inadvertently caused Frigga’s death (he did not kill her: his actions, by mistake, lead to her murder, let me be very clear) AND Odin will die AND all the rest... And he wants to be with them.

18. Loki’s reaction to Thor suggesting the hug makes me soft. Please I want to hug this little mischief man so so so bad-

19. Skipping over the iw parts! That’s for another post because this one will be grossly long anyway.

20. “I don’t enjoy hurting people.” and “It's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear. A desperate play for control.” was all so, so validating. I’ve been trying to argue on Loki’s behalf for almost a solid decade. Seeing the show recognize that Loki’s not all just violence and hurting for “fun”, that he’s not unhinged and bloodthirsty.. Is so nice. It’s just so, so comforting. and it gives me hope for future episodes that they won’t go the route of “oh haha loki bullied and mistreated and stabbed thor for years!!! :)” loki cries during basically every fight with Thor and you want me to believe he stabs Thor for fun? absolutely not.

21. Theory.. Just another hunch.. So we know a fugitive variant, aka Loki, is running amok. Refer back to 8 and 9.C. What if the Time-Keepers never actually fixed the timeline into a single timeline? What if there are other timelines, and these different Loki variants have hopped over to the current one? Or, maybe the Time-Keepers did fix the timeline into a single one, and these Lokis are remnants from that huge time-war at the beginning? Time runs differently in relative spaces, they may have Just Left that war from their perspective!

I say Lokis and not Loki because we’re pretty sure there’s Female/Lady Loki, Old Man/King Loki, and possibly Young/Kid Loki. That’s at least three. From the peeks of Asgard and NYC we’ve seen from the trailers, I think we’re also getting an Asgardian King!Loki and Midgardian King/Vote!Loki. (unless our dearest variant is hopping into timelines and situating into them, but I doubt Mobius would let that happen..?) That’s five.

To further support this, keep in mind, I believe recently six (i think 6 regular and 6 rare...) different funko pops were announced for the series? I’m not sure if they’re in addition to the Loki and Mobius already released. If they are, there’s enough room for each Loki and maybe a TVA agent. One of the pops is supposed to have a buddy/companion I think? Maybe they’re making the cat guy into one, or maybe there’s something else (Throg, anyone?).

22. That is totally Lady Loki/Sylvie at the end by the way. Has to be. But why does she want the reset devices? Why did she snatch that TVA Hunter? Again, WHAT’S GOING ON

ANYWAY this was a very long post if you made it this far, I commend you.

[sleepdeprivedheretic]

Heart of the Wild (Ch.1)

Notes: Here I am, with my favorite tropes and high-key copying the plot to my other fic, Wild Heart. Oh well, I had fun chilling and plotting it with my friend, @mha-girl674 while listening to Celtic Woodland music :3 This story is basically a little self-indulgent “re-write”, but Wild Heart is still up and it’s own fic <3

Pairings: Taishiro x reader, a little bit of Kirideku, and Miro x Tamaki next chapter

Setting: Hybrid Au in medieval times? Ig? Like they have villages and stuff. Idk, imagination :3

Warnings: Self Indulgent Spicy Plot with consensual and self smut thrown in around here and there. Characters are over the age of twenty.

Trigger Warnings: Heats, terrible parents (of the reader), and fear of non-consent, but there is no no-consensual touching, just chasing from an unknown character.

Hot breaths panted into the chilly air from within your chest. You couldn’t feel anything, other than the white heat burn within your feet and legs from the blistering cold. You’ve been running for who knows how long, heart screaming within your chest at the thrill of finally being free, and what a stupid decision that this was.

 It was in the middle of winter, and you’ve chosen now to escape. It was smart as well as stupid, for your parents, thinking that they had you metaphorically tied to a tight leash, would have never expect you to rush out into the cold dead of the winter night.

 They were wrong, but you were suffering. There was no food, lest hardly any shelter or warmth. Your scrap of a tattered cloak, barely weathered the unforgiving wind and snow. Yet, trudging on was the best bet, it was the only bet.  

 At least the cool weather flushed down your heat, but not the scent. Being within a tundra had scared you; not only that there were more ferocious, bigger hybrids that could smell you out, but as well as it was so open. Nowhere to hide, plenty to run, and you’ve practically already exhausted yourself, your natural cycle to breed didn’t help matters, either, for it drained energy, as well.

 Was this better than having your parents keep a constant watch over you? Planning to hand over you to who knows who, in exchange for some pretty fabrics and seeds? Granted that you’ve thought this through in what seemed to be a million times, but you didn’t know what laid outside of your little nomadic tribe.

 Gritting teeth, leaning against a boulder, you gasped as pain shot through your leg. You were use to traveling with your tribe, carrying things for miles, but not running in constant fear into the vast unknown, perhaps miles away from any place that was safe.

 A low whine had cut you out of your thoughts, your head swerving around as a musky scent had now reached you. A fox was staring at you intently, licking his bottom lip as his hands clenched the boulder just ten feet away. Your own rabbit ears folded back in fear, yet his scent had sent yours screaming. Of course, your stupid inner omega was processing the idea of settling down in the tundra raising fox kits, but you weren’t having it.

 It was tempting to just lay down and rest, but not get bent over by the first stranger that you saw, especially one so wild looking and probably was more feral than your clansmen. You bolted. He gave a short yip of frustrated shock, and he chased.  

 This is what you had been fearing for your whole life. If it wasn’t in the back burner of your mind, it was the hungry looks that your clansmen shot your way, the way your parents were only interested in you as a future bargaining chip, and of course, the prospect of getting used by a stranger, and bearing unwanted kits.

 It upset you, and undoubtedly made your resolve to choose your own mate, even greater, if you wanted one, at this point. You didn’t know where you were going, all you knew was that in your fear, the scent had gotten closer, giving the fact that the arctic fox was practically nipping at your heels. You yipped in surprise as pain shot through your foot, after suddenly tripping over a branch, the ground closed in as you squeezed your eyes shut, feeling the impact of the fall hit your arms and side as you tumbled a little ways.

 It didn’t take you long to recuperate, as you scrambled backwards, fearing for the worst yet to come as your back had hit a solid trunk of a tree. Surprise had hit you, for the fox stopped dead in his tracks. Once a musky scent, was now flooded with dread as he stared onward behind you, and then back at you. As if making up his mind after a mental process, he growled in frustration as he let out one last angry yip, before running off.

 Relief had wafted to you, slightly, but you were left with more questions than answers. The tree of all things against your back, and the way the fox had fled in fear, motivated you to turn around. It was a forest, to your utter surprise and shock. Running in a blind panic, you weren’t aware of your surroundings, just the pure fear mixed in with your inner omegas snapping demands to breed, had made you rushed and unfocused.

 By the way the stretch of lush pines and firs, had the forest itself look so dark and intimidating. You had an inkling that the snow and cold, and possibly even sunlight, hadn’t reached within it’s mysterious depths, and it looked oddly inviting. You knew that the fox had fled for a reason, and that it was a stupid idea to even think of venturing inside, but you were out of options.  

  You didn’t want to freeze to death in the snow, after all. Steadying yourself up against the bare cedar you’ve bumped into, you took a step forward, wincing at the pain from your hurt ankle and sore legs. However, the lure of the possibility of safety, was more strong than your will to just lay down. Inching forward into the darkness, you let the trees within guide you. It was dark, at first, but of course, trees could only give only so much shade. Dim, was the more correct use of the word as you inched closer and deeper within the forest’s heart. Despite the atmosphere, the birds were singing to their heart’s content, as you could hear the sound of rushing water in the background somewhere.

 You jumped a little as your foot brushed up against something soft. Green, you couldn’t help but stare in awe at the little patches of grass and clovers littered across it’s floor. It was cold, yes, but not as cold as it was outside the fortress of trees. In what had seemed eerie and intimidating at first, now had filled you with an odd sense of serenity and calmness. The area around it had an odd, yet highly welcomed earthy smell with a splash of something sweet in which had you relaxed and sated the crawling of your heat.

 Why did the fox fear this place? It had seemed so safe. The hairs of the back of your neck had stood up as you stilled. It had took you longer to realize, that the forest’s unique scent, didn’t belong to the forest at all. Eyes widening in realization, your hands gripped the tree that you were leaning up against. Fate, so far, was kind to you, and although you didn’t want to push your luck, you were hopeless and out of options. Was it a bear? Even then, they usually didn’t let their scents be covered in trees like this. It was baffling, as well as a mystery to you, and you wanted to find out.

 Yet, exhaustion had finally taken it’s toll onto your weary body as you could feel your remaining strength just physically drain from you. Tired, hungry, scared, and hurt through the array of emotions, your body had decided that you were going to rest, whether you liked it or not. As you collapsed onto the forest floor, a shout of surprise echoed as your world turned into black.

…………………

 “-tch. Annoyin’ bunnies an’ their heats.” A huff of annoyance broke out into the silence. Once dark, life had filtered through your senses once again as the scent earlier, was the strongest here. Crackling of fire, warmth, and the scent had awakened you as you cracked open your eyelids.

 A house, you couldn’t help but wonder in awe. The fireplace had created a warm atmosphere against the darkened room, lighting up a place of comfort and furs from non-hybrids. You yourself, were in a bed, bandages were wrapped around your hurt ankle and arms as warm blankets had covered you. What had caught your attention most in the lit room, was the tall figure of a man stirring something within a kettle, back turned against you. What had surprised you most definitely, were the orange and black appendages that were his ears and long, swishing tail.

 A tiger? You had wondered. They were rare, here, and more rare if they were orange, those being in the east, not the north. Oddly enough, fear didn’t prickle you, but your heat, just stirring awake with you, had. If he wanted to hurt you, he would have, already, not literally save you from the cold and bandaged your wounds.

 Not wanting to startle him, you rustled a bit, letting the bed creak a little to get his attention. An ear of his flicked as he then turned around, giving you the full view of your mysterious stranger. Curious amber eyes, soft blonde hair, he wasn’t big, but he wasn’t slim, having a hefty amount of a belly fat on him, due to the winter. Years of work had shown on his shoulders, creating muscle mass as well as around his arms and upper chest. Only what has been covering him, was a loose pair of pants. You had to furiously mentally beat your heat and thoughts down with a stick as he then spoke.

“Ya look like a mess.”

 And there it was, the trickle of slick leaked out of you as your face burned with embarrassment and shame and you then covered your face with a downy pillow. A huff of surprised laughter at your expense made you peep out and give the best glare that you could manage, yet the stranger just gave you a grin.

 “I must say, yer lil’ reaction’s a bit different from a lotta other beings bein’ near a tiger. Name’s Taishiro.” To your utmost surprise, he let out a please little purr as he then turned back to the kettle. You gave him your name.

 “So, why is a lil’ thing like yerself doin’ out in the middle of here?” He pondered, as if he already knew the answer, but for conversation’s sake, you enlightened him, watching his tail swish with annoyance at your parents, and ears flickering with interest as you explored the forest.

 “What about you?” You turned to ask. His back stiffened a little, as if caught with surprise at the notion.

 “Came from the east, lookin’ for a new start in life away from my parents. I knew that a lotta others would fear me, but I didn’t know that they’d avoid a whole forest ‘cause of me,” He then took a wooden bowl and ladle, dipping the curved spoon into the bubbling stew as he continued.

 “-granted, I made some friends, even adopted some younglin’s. Strangers just usually don’t come ‘round here.” He finished, pouring the delicious smelling broth into the bowl, tucking a wooden spoon in it as he turned around.

 It was an odd atmosphere, and you were pretty sure that you weren’t dreaming, but for your sake, you went along with it.

“Are you lonely?” You asked bluntly. He froze, and then gave an indigenous huff as he set the bowl down at the table closest to you. Ears flattened and tail swishing, at first you thought that you made him angry, but he avoided your curious stare as he looked rather nervous.

 “Ye’re pretty wordy for somebody who jus’ woke up. Ya must be starvin’, here. T’s not much, but I figured that ya might be hungry.” He changed the subject as he gestured towards the bowl. Telling him your gratitude, you gripped it, lifted a spoonful of the soup, and took a sip. To your surprise, the sweet taste of carrots had mixed in heavenly with the starchy potatoes, crisp lettuce, and the slight bitter bite of spinach.

 “It’s delicious.” You admitted truthfully, not missing the way his ears picked up at the compliment.

 “Thanks to the trees blockin’ the cold, ‘s not hard to grow yer own food. I might be a predator, but I can live without meat.” He rambled, There was so much to say, and many questions left unanswered, but you knew that you were on borrowed time, until your natural cycle would bite back with a vengeance, later. He must have known it, too.

 “The worried look on yer face is a dead giveaway, Hon. I never housed somebody in heat, before, but don’tcha worry ‘bout it. Ya can stay here fer a while, seein’ that a hurt ankle might take longer to heal. I ‘ave some friends that I can stay with.” He rambled, but you looked at him with pure confusion.

 “You’re giving up your home temporarily? For a stranger?” You asked, baffled. At this, his tail swished, as if a little shy.

 “Temporarily. I don’t know what yer plans are in the future, but the forest doesn’t belong to me, ya can hang around an’ have yer own place, within the depths. I couldn’t just leave somebody there, sufferin’ and the brink of death, anyways.” He murmured lowly, but you could hear it clearly. Warmth that wasn’t heat, clouded into your chest at such kindness from the stranger. He was a stranger, yes, but you felt as if you could trust him fully, giving that his actions of helping you and not asking for anything in return, had screamed volumes.

 “Thank you, for everything.” You blurted out, and the corner of his lip twitched upward at your honest gratitude.

“Not a problem, Sweetheart.”

…………………….

 He knew the dangers of housing a slick, hot-blooded omega rabbit, of all beings, had included. What he didn’t expect, was the general bluntness and forwardness of the little thing. Not as timid or shy, but generally open and forward with emotions. Being in the early stages of heat, right now the bunny was coherent, but he knew that it would only last for so long before the true, ugly nature of one’s natural heat cycle, took over.

 “So, here’s what’s gonna happen, Hon. I’m going to stay far away. It’s fer your safety. I might prowl around my area and scent everything, keepin’ unwanted guests, away, but I’m not gonna barge in on yer privacy or be too close to the house.” He told you, laying out a plan. You nodded, setting the empty bowl aside as you listened closely.

 “-believe it or not, I know somebody who could bring ya rations an’ talk with ya after yer heat spells. He’s a dwarf rabbit, an’ already mated to somebody who I see as a son of mine. Since he’s an omega, like yerself, he should be more immune to yer smell. Green hair an’ freckles, can’t miss’im.” Taishiro explained, and you listened with interest, seeing that you weren’t truly alone in your being as well as dynamic.

 “Sorry that we won’t talk, much, but I thought that I’d best introduce myself ‘fore ya wake up alone and scared.”

 “I’m not scared.” You admitted, and he huffed.

 “Now, ye’re not, but if ya woke up alone an’ in a stranger’s house, ya would be.” He argued, and you let him win, seeing that you were too caught up in emotions, and just wanted to process everything. Noticing your state, he gave out a chuckle.

 “Alright, I’ll see ya later, when yer heat’s over. Ya kinda intrigue me, a lil’ bit, so I’m hopin’ that ya might stay, a lil’ while longer after yer heat.” As soon as he admitted it, his ears flattened with embarrassment as he huffed out a sigh, the apples of his cheeks reddening as he swiftly turned around, opening the door, closing it swiftly behind him.

 You bit your bottom lip. For an apex predator who was lethal as well as dangerous, he was almost as soft as a kitten, and you hoped that, at the very least, the two of you could be friends.

………………

  You were weak, you huffed, panting out hot air as one of your hands gripped the pillow, harshly. Usually, you didn’t have a face, or a body in your images as you tried your best to sate the flash of hot emptiness. It has always been nothing but hot and drowsy images of the blurred shapes of your pillow and furs in the past, leaving you unsatisfied and on the brink of frustrated tears.

 This time, you had kindle to feed that ever demanding fire of yours, licking sharply at the heels of your feet as you were on the brink of the edge. Smooth muscle, soft fat, warm amber irises, and that twinge of a smile, had pinned your focus. You felt guilty, but you couldn’t help it, nor could you think clearly of anything nor anybody else.

 He was so friendly and helpful to you, and here you were, ruining his bedding and furs with your slick, fingers deep within you, wrist hurting from the desperate climb, but no full relief avail. Your body couldn’t had waited, as soon as he left with that calming scent, a spike had hit you in where it had hurt, the empty ache shooting up in full demand.

 Where was this man? Your inner omega screamed, but you harshly shushed it, focusing on the edge, and how to clean the sheets, afterwords. In your blurred state, you knew that you had hardly knew him, but already, he was so far the perfect embodiment of what most beings had wanted in a partner. You admitted freely, that you were no different.

 Letting out a small squeak within the bitten pillow, harsh relief shot through you, as you clenched on your fingers desperately, your body trembling and tears pooling from the corners of your eyes at finally, finding a sudden rush of relief.

 You huffed, calming down from your euphoric high as you palmed your face against the pillow in which smelled exactly like him. You were in too deep, you couldn’t help but think, a little guilty for desecrating the hospitality by literally cumming onto his blankets with him in your mind.

……………………….

[farty-city]

inside bo burnham review no one asked for

i enjoy other peoples commentary and i was writing down my first thoughts anyway so here it is

inside

first song/intro song

i like the phone screen on him, very reflective of how we have had phone screens on us

“roberts been a little depressed” osnskjdnfs

they were right “daddys made you some content so open wide” hjbfafn

intro

oh my god he looks awful

but like in a cute way

maybe

healing the world with comedy (second song)

the canned and queued laugher no exactly… is it a symbol or is it just funny.. who's to say. 

it think its a good first song, establishing he knows what he is doing is kind of useless 

“the indescribable power of your comedy”

he looks like marc maron rn

i like the synthed voice and synthesizer

the jesus allusion … yeah

“i'm a special kind of white guy”

this feels like he knows how he is perceived by fans.. Make happy was too much

his fucking dancing fksjdnfksj

i think he did a good job looking manic

the lasers lmao

Side 1

Bo made a huge gamble releasing this like,,, what if you just stumbled upon it and this was ur first introduction to him..

I bet its like when i comment dumb things on instagram comments and get that rush of hehehehe

NO NOT BO DEVELOPING BILLIE EILLISH VOWELS

Also this is exactly what he wanted like,, he just wanted to make his things and not deal with the crowds so..

To think i was like finding scraps of him performing at largo and stuff and now,, so much content

life imitates art

the way he's literally what he wrote hgbkdf

there is no authenticity with cameras

suicide ?

 facetime with my mom tonight

the blue light.. Yeah

o hblue like sad

i don't know how i feel about the electric music but i guess its no different than whatever else i listen to

this is sad wow

still catchy etc

side 2

i wonder if here will be any fart jokes

that is how the world works (songs)

the huge mess and then him in a sweater

this is reminiscent of that walmart muppets

he became tim minchin with a sock puppet

the “yes… yes sir” stoppp 

jkgdsnfijwkensfosnf

qbejfnjne

nerjgnoejns

bo making a political statement and a metaphor for activism and then making it weirdly kinky

brand consultant (bit)

man bun

i have to believe he filmed it with the beard because quarantine vibes and also bc he was tired of being seen as a child

white womans instagram (song)

i did not like that intro

BO AND GLASSES THANK GOD

the daisies wow just wow

underwear

“white womans instagram” or “bo burnham becomes a girlboss”

i like that he didn't lose his cadence like the way the rhymes are you can still tell its him

i don't get the mom part sorry

is it like how people are very superficial but also very personal on their instagrams

this part was legit sad

side 3

i wonder how he felt with cameras constantly on him

Although this is the point hes trying to make

lol seinfeld moment (bit)

unpaid intern (bit and song)

“barely people somehow legal” was so smooth woW

omg he was scatting

he was a man who would scat

oh my god what great news

the react clip omg

i cant believe he did that oh my god

observation/critisism and response to the “can anyone shut the fuck up” 

and as i realized what he was doing he was like “i have this need for everything i make to have a deeper meaning” oh my god

now the question is how long will this go on?

jeffrey bezos (song)

idk its catchy

and then theres him like sleeping and talking which kind of is part of the jeff bezos song

bug eyes salamanders hehe

sexting (song)

i do believe this is just a silly song 

the earrings tho omg

sounds like post malone hbkjdsnfskj

idk its still about like intimacy in quarantine and that stuff..

the knife (bit)

i know hes copying like other youtubers but like,,, what

stuck in a room (song)

the intro is very funny and relatable

classic bo i love it 

i will say this special has been more reflective but i suppose it has to be

“look whos inside again”

i like the end too, this is all a fabrication

this is the clip where hes staring at the projection of himself from his old youtube videos which is sort of more like an ending to the “stuck in my room” song

 sorry (song)

i love the 80’s style music and its like zumba

oh this is like an apology song

“father please forgive me for i did not realise what i did, or that id live to regret it” what a catchy line

i would say this is another more “classic” bo song where its self aware and funny

“my closet it chalk full of stuff that is vaguely shitty” 

camera falling

this deserves its own bullet because its silly

i'm turning 30 (bit and song)

i remember him talking about this on a podcast and like,, damn i didn't know this also happened LOL

i really like how he did the lighting 

“stupid fucking ugly boring children”

suicide talk (1)

this is interesting i like the use of the projection

this is something that could never have happened onstage

just like with the it being projected on him

i guess it could but it would have to be done differently and probably hed have to make it funnier to make it more engaging

intermission

i just checked this is about the halfway point.. Mh

i don't wanna know (song)

“i thought it’d be over by now”

i wish this was longer but i kind of like how its just a little snippet and then the cut

video game (bit)

“i guess i’ll cry again”

“is the dude big or is the room small” lol

hm depression

 feelin like shit (song)

ohh the lighting is fun again

this is the tone shift i suppose

the feels like supalonely and the new kind of music

atl

:(

panic attack 

everything all of the time (song)

feels like brandon rogers 

i enjoy this

this feels like “welcome to youtube” grew up

“a little bit of everything all of the time”

“apathys a tragedy and boredoms a crime”

ok olivia rodrigo

finishing the special (bit)

these feel like diary entries but as standup

interesting choice

jeffery bezos (2)

Why the seaweed suit

Where did he get that

the digital space (bit)

suit up, gather what is needed, and return to the surface

damn

pirate map anfdkjfnskjd

this was so stupid (affectonate)

that funny feeling (song)

the campfire vibes 

kenny loggins

i don't get it..

is it about childhood, is it about the present?

i think its talking about the end of content? 

“the end of culture”, to quote make happy

change and not liking it 

“we were overdue, but it will be over soon”

if the second half of the special is like a panic attack this song is like a momentary pause before it gets worse

“so ive been working on this special”/breakdown 

this was .. uncomfortable and genuine which i'm sure is why he kept it

all eyes on me (song/rant)

another sad thing to watch.. damn

me trying to tell if the audio was from make happy

i think he was trying to make it as if the audio was from make happy 

this feels.. familiar

and obviously that is the point

“come on in the waters fine”

the use of autotune during the talking part... yeah

sad that he was gonna make another special… and it would have been totally different than this

i’ve decided i like the homage to make happy

It feels like hes made peace with it

the montage of him waking up and the “i think i'm done”

and then of course the ending where he's watching it over to remind us that its all fabricated

possible ending song/ “i promise to never go outside again”

ngl he looks good in the shirt with the haircut hehe

which i feel like is what he wants up to notice

and then like not think after we saw all his breakdowns

“i want to hear you tell a joke when no ones laughing in the background”

i really like the medley

Final thoughts

I want a blooper reel, but this doesn't seem like the kind of special

I also wonder if the songs will be on like apple music, but again, doesn't seem like the kind of special

I'm happy for him, he got to be honest and open and show us the sort of panicky stuff

this self aware comedy is exactly the stuff that i think will be making a comeback in the next decade.  John better be pulling up with more deconstructed comedy. 

I hope this has given him peace

[shifting-haven]

Things I do to help myself shift

(these may or may not work for you, I just wanted to post some tips and things that help me out a lot in case they could possibly help someone! some of these aren’t my ideas, they’re actually tips I’ve found online and use. if you want me to take one of your tips down, just message me and I’ll do it.)

- Listening to music that reminds me of my DR. I have a few songs I like to listen to because I can see my DR self enjoying them. It makes me feel more connected.

- Thinking things my DR self would. How would DR me react to this situation? Would I like this person? Would I enjoy this?

- Visualizing scenarios and memories in my DR throughout my day. I always make sure to do it in first-person and to also make sure that I’m really feeling what’s happening. For example: If the memory is of me hugging someone, I make sure to feel the fabric of their clothes. Are they short? Tall? Average? Can I put my chin on their head? Are they warm? You can do this with anything, of course, just be specific and make it as realistic as possible.

- If I have issues visualizing (which I do quite a bit at night, idk what it is but I have a lot of issues with visualizing when my eyes are closed), I’ll focus instead on affirming and trying to feel my DR around me. When the issue goes away, I go back to visualizing.

- I have a lot of issues with falling asleep while trying to shift (to be specific, it’s hard for me to use methods that involve me sleeping because I’m really bad at falling asleep, no matter what, I never seem to be able to fall asleep when I need to), so I take melatonin to help me out. It helps a lot, just be careful while taking it, because I’ve heard that if you fight it and try to stay awake, it can act in reverse and actually act like caffeine.

- When I’m trying to shift, I like to listen to music or other types of audio, just so I have something to block out the noise around me. I would recommend listening to audio like background noises, sleep aids, or ASMR videos related to your DR. The last time I tried using a sleep aid related to my DR, I actually was really close to shifting, but got distracted. You can read about that experience here. Also, I’ve heard subliminals and things like that can help, just be sure to check if they’re safe and reputable.

- I like to draw or make a lot of Picrews related to my DR. It’s really fun, and it helps me visualize!

[in-the-whisper]

I'm sorry if this is a common/stupid ask but I fundamentally don't understand religion and I couldn't imagine believing so strongly in anything, but it seems very nice(?) and possibly even optimistic to have a constant like that in your life. so in the sense I think I have an idea of what religion is, what makes you decide(?) to follow it or believe in it? genuine apologies if this comes across as patronizing or condescending, it's not my intention and sometimes I'm just bad with words ':]

dude you are always welcome here and i will never assume that you are being mean you are very sweet <3 i am very happy to talk to you!

ok so i come from a super different background so it’s hard for me to even imagine like not knowing a ton of people who are religious so i will try to explain and then if it doesn’t make sense feel free to poke me and i will try again. also it makes me happy so dont be scared i will say oh! someone asked me about God! yay! and then i will write a silly tumblr post while making this face -> c: 

okay so one of your confusions seems to be why i would believe in something so strongly. in a way everyone believes things strongly, some even more than me (i mean look at politics and thanksgiving dinner). i think the reason that my relationship with God in particular is something i feel strongly about is because i derived my faith from my natural understanding of the value of my friends and from my understanding of morality.

i love my friends very much (most people do) and the idea of them getting hurt or mistreated makes me very angry (i think people would agree). and you could make the argument that the reason that i care so deeply about people and justice is because of all the stuff ive been through but i did think this before anything bad happened to me really.

there is a difference between atheist (philosophical) morality and Christian morality. for someone who doesn’t believe in God, there isn’t anybody who is more important than humanity who can tell them what to do. if one person does something, and i don’t like it, all i can say is, “i don’t like that,” and not “you shouldn’t do that.” because im not in charge of them. i’m just another person, who am i to go around establishing moral laws for other people?

but what that /also/ means is that there isn’t any “grounding” or like /reason/ for morality or the value of life other than personal preference. this Really bothered me about my philosophy class, every atheist philosopher did this. they all wanted to say that you could make morality for yourself (looking at you nietzsche). But then what happens? What about when someone is killed? or raped? I want to be able to say, “Rape is horrible.” and not just “Rape is horrible in my opinion.” Anything that doesn’t allow for these like absolute, unquestionable, overarching standards of how people /should/ or /shouldn’t/ live just doesn’t add up imo.

Atheist professor of law at Yale, Dr. Arthur Leff, wrote an article on this exact topic called “Unspeakable ethics Unnatural Law.” The entire thing is amazing and I recommend it, but here is the conclusion:

All I can say is this: it looks as if we are all we have. Given what we know about ourselves and each other, this is an extraordinarily unappetizing prospect; looking around the world, it appears that if all men are brothers, the ruling model is Cain and Abel. Neither reason, nor love, nor even terror, seems to have worked to make us "good," and worse than that, there is no reason why anything should. Only if ethics were something unspeakable by us, could law be unnatural, and therefore unchallengeable. As things now stand, everything is up for grabs. 

Nevertheless:  Napalming babies is bad.  Starving the poor is wicked.  Buying and selling each other is depraved.  Those who stood up to and died resisting Hitler, Stalin, Amin, and Pol Pot-and General Custer too-have earned salvation.  Those who acquiesced deserve to be damned.  There is in the world such a thing as evil.  [All together now:] Sez who?  God help us.

So if I think this is true, if I really believe that death is evil, that rape is horrible, that there are some universally binding and unchallengeable truths about how people ought to live, I have to believe in a God. or i can live in a state of constant existential dread hahahahaha, , I joke but I actually did do that for a while it was pretty miserable.

i think the next question was kind of what made me believe in it? and that is kind of a difficult question because i think in a way Christianity just encapsulates a bunch of things that i already believed, and i just found like a label for them i guess. i also grew up Christian, so for me my experience questioning my religious identity was more like, three people you love are dead why do you still believe in a loving God? Rather than which religion or philosophy do i like the best?

idk maybe they come out to be the same but it doesnt feel entirely the same. i’m still a christian because of sunsets and sunrises and because the world feels beautiful and intentional, and because i’ve been in a lot of pain and it was real. it really happened. it wasn’t in my head (looking at you stoicism). it wasn’t unimportant. there is not if buts ands ors it was just awful and that’s that. so what can explain it? what can explain meaning? only God can.

Christianity is specifically the religion im interested in because it’s the only one i’ve come across that is as internally consistent, historically accurate, scientifically accurate, coherent understandings of the universe.

No other philosophy allows you to grieve. That’s why I believe in God. No other philosophy validates grief that a belief in a loving God, a belief that death isn’t meant to happen, that people are violently ripped from you without purpose and that you are meant to live together forever. It allows for a belief in the value of humanity and grace while also allowing you to believe that things that happen to you that might last with you forever are wrong and not just in your opinion. They were violently wrong, they violated ancient laws of the universe, they were an act of aggression toward God himself.

Ok im rambling now but I will leave you with this, which is what i wrote after finally deciding to remain a christian:

“There are several questions I asked that stopped me from rejecting Christianity.

Where did the universe come from and why does it exist?

Why does our experience involve morality?

Why is there love? (deep love between brothers, self sacrificial love, to die for another love)

Why is there goodness?

There are, of course, answers to these questions under ideologies other than Christianity, but I found their answers to be unsatisfying because to me, the existence of these things screams that there is something more to the universe than an unfortunate accident in a vacuum of uncaring nothingness.

When I listened to music encouraging its audience to live, when I listened to people fight for the lives of those they love, when i watched the sun set, or cried at the end of a deeply touching movie, I would think, “In light of this how can you say there is no God?”

In Christianity I found answers that profoundly satisfied my deepest questions. 

There is a universe because God in his wisdom fashioned it to be a beautiful gift. There is morality because we stand in the midst of a cosmic battle between good and evil. There is love because God’s nature is perfectly loving and the fabric of the knowable universe was woven in his loving kindness. There is beauty and goodness because life wasn’t created to be a void and an unknowable miserable darkness.

The true issue with atheism is that while intellectually and technically feasible, it gives empty answers to facets of life that do not have empty realities.

It forced me to ask myself this question: How can such a beautiful, meaningful, tragic world exist from nothing and for nothing?”

[realcatalina]

Meynnart Wewyck’s workshop-part 4: Henry VII

One again, these are merely my suggestions of which paintings I’d like experts to exhamine in order to determine if they are by Wewyck’s workshop. 

This time we are focusing on Henry VII and in part 5 also, because there is damn so many portraits of him! I keep finding more even while searching for portraits of other people!

Straight away we have two very good candidates. Another versions of portrait already proven to be Henry(in the middle) by Wewyck.

Both of them deserve to be tested imo. Because one might be original from life and remaining posthumous copies. Maybe during thorough exhamination they’d figure out which one. So far most paintings experts identified as Meynnart Wewyck’s workshop are from 1510s. And 1520s style is very different, and it is possible that 1500s style would be also very different. But as i said in part 1, you need to compare a lot of paintings to figure that out and it is entirely possible workshop had 3 or even more stages! Not just 2 we know abbout now.

I.)Henry VII, Anglessey Abbey:

Link:https://www.nationaltrustcollections.org.uk/object/515569

 Anglessey Abbey says diptych’s dendrology came with result of 1512-1520, so this should be posthumous painting! But they don’t say if they tested both paintings in the diptych(and each could have been done at different times.) and those two paintings don’t match each other, the other is horribly altered.

This painting was once in different frame and sides and bit under hands is still not cleaned off properly(maybe it is not possible to clean it idk, sometimes it is unsafe to do without damage to the painting.

Imo at least inch or two are missing in lower part of painting.

You can barely spot it but his hands rest of the grey ledge(here looking black) and actually on golden orb just as Elizabeth’s were.

Receuil d’Arras shows Henry VII with golden orb too, though in different hand. I am not sure what is the significance of this gesture, but Henry VIII is depicted like this too(see part 1). 

You have to look in different angle to spot that there was once rounded decorative top-matching proven version.

The background gives us the same green damask pattern as in some other paintings, including proven Wewyck’s work:

Though emphasise once again, that this was very popular pattern and was used in many paintings outside of England.

But I’d like to point out few easily overlooked similiarities and differences between this painting and version of it already proven to be by Wewyck.

Aside from ledge and orb being missing on proven version, there are:

Pearls and heart shaped pendant on carcanet missing:

Brooch with 3 pearls(on hat)

-with or without ruby. I found many depictions of hat brooch with 3 pearls with ruby and only one other without. So I am not sure if it was gilded over on proven version, or if he had two similiar brooches.

Shape of hat and texture of hair and slightly different shape of nose.

Proven version has much roundish shape and that slight pointy end on  forehead is barely there. Hair is of different exture, but still has slight wave to it, in both time is gray going to dark(one more than other), not even close to white hair Virgil described. (Though imo it probably wasn’t white but light grey hair.)

Hands

In Anglesey Abbey’s version his thumb is freekishly long and thin, and his index finger bends slightly differently. Rings are also much larger.

Slight differences in his robes, how fabric twists. But actually that pattern of cloth of gold is on proven version too, just way less visible.  

Also both have red velvet trim on egde of their fur, which you can barely spot in both:

And that is important detail, because next version doesn’t have it(maybe due to alterations).

II.) Portrait of Henry VII Cultural Heritage Agency of the Netherlands Art Collection  

Link to wikipedia where it is in HD:

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Portrait_of_Henry_VII,_King_of_England_Cultural_Heritage_Agency_of_the_Netherlands_Art_Collection_NK1426.jpg

It’s dated as c.1530 but imo it’s older than that.(i can be wrong.)

The I. and II. way more similar to each other than to proven version. The hair is between dark brown and grey(which could be darkening of pigments), pattern of cloth of gold is more visible, hats are more alike(brooches are same), both have heart-shaped pendants on their carcanets and at least 1 pearl on its end.

Pearl hiding away(overpainted when background was done or redone).

There are but few differences. Netherlandish is  showing of more of cuts on sleeves and clearly has fur lining on those cuts and around wrist(which Anglessey doesn’t have), proven version has mere hint of it.

Rose is different and hands though more shaped as proven version, have thumb of his left hand(on right) showing. That is very odd actually.

No way his hand merely rests on ledge, the thumb wouldn’t be under rest of the fingers!  Those four fingers aren’t so straight either. Try it yourself, but when i twist my hand to such position, it seems to me either as evil witch claw or as if i was grasping something roundish. Perhaps golden orb.

And yet despite all above, the face matches more the proven painting(on right):

I don’t know what to make of it. Perhaps experts can get us some clarity.

Tbh, i just love details of the hat brooch in II.

There is actually 4th version of this painting. But beware the face is horrendous!

III.)Henry VII (1457-1509), Victoria and Albert Museum:

Link: https://collections.vam.ac.uk/item/O128343/henry-vii-1457-1509-oil-painting-unknown/

Those floral decorations on top were also found on portrait of Richard III from National Portrait Gallery(said to be late 16th century work). Idk if these were originally on our Henry too, or if it is later alteration.

VAM’s description simply states this painting is 16th century work-translation:we didn’t test it and don’t know.

You’d think these two are pair,  but when you check the dimensions of both, H of hers is just 70% and width just 60% of his, so hers is smaller and narrower!

But they probably are at least altered by same painter.

By the way I., II. and III. are only paintings of Henry VII in existence(that I know of) which also have that heart-shaped pendant.

I won’t point out all the similiarities/ differences with the others again, as you already know what to look at and that ledge is pretty much unmistakable. 

But few more differences, which are hard to spot:

Cloth of gold bending up vs down:

In III. the ring is on his middle finger instead of on his ring finger(which can be simply honest mistake by painter, even on original):

The middle of the rose has gilded pattern:

And last thing I am not sure about. It’s the velvet, his shading, how it is painted. 

To me it looks very alike as velvet in proven paintings. I can be mistaken though, and even if it is by Wewyck it can also be posthumous. 

Problem with it is, that Henry VIII is never painted with grey ledge during his reign. Is it the case his got cut off or there never was any? Does it mean we are looking at copies after his reign? Or the style was prefered prior to his reign?

Could it be the earliest style of Wewyck’s workshop? I wondered. But then the trail went cold and I found nothing similiar for long while and instead focused on gathering versions of well-known paintings of Henry VII(and plenty there are!)

It bothered me, just as Virgil’s description bothered me and fact that somebody overpainted some of these paintings so heavily! Why?!

Perhaps this painting holds answer to that:

IV) Henry VII (Masters) (1457-1509), Society of Antiquaries of London, Burlighton House:

Link to Society of Antiquaries:  

https://www.sal.org.uk/collections/explore-our-collections/collections-highlights/henry-vii-masters-1457-1509/

According to Society of Antiquaries it is ‘Likely painted before 1540′ 

So they don’t know. 

But the painting is the worst case of pigment instability I’ve seen. 

(Darkening of pigments is also example of pigment instability-at least I call it pigment instability, experts probably use some other term.)

Only the rose is not washed out(and I cannot rule out it is altered). Crimson velvet turned to orange! Light peach colour at some places! 

If this happened to other paintings, it might explain the heavy overpainting. 

I’ve seen MANY paintings of Henry VII and indeed it is similiar to many of them and could be altered version of some of them.

But what if it isn’t? There is 2nd version of this painting.

Both have cloth of gold lined with fur, different edges of the gown over it, rose with pattern in middle:

Bends on fabric of the sleeves and hand twisting same way(ring missing):

And lighter grey hair:

V: Henry VII in Christ Church, University of Oxford:  

Link: https://artuk.org/discover/artworks/henry-vii-14571509-229296/search/keyword:henry-vii--referrer:global-search/page/2

(Don’t ask me why some univerities put their art collection on Art Uk instead of their webpage. IDK! But gives very few information about the painting.)

Obviously the painting is very dark, but perhaps it was its saving grace, grime protecting the pigments from becoming unstable.

Virgil described Henry VII thus:

His body was slender, but well built and strong; his height above the average. His appearance was remarkably attractive and his face was cheerful, especially when speaking; his eyes were small and blue, his teeth few, poor and blackish; his hair was thin and white; his complexion sallow.

And this is the only painting which fits the description. He is slim, seems to be tall and yet as no weakling/doesn’t look very ill. His hair is lighter grey(with small wave to it), his eyes are small, probably blue and look warm. Not as ice-berg in other versions.

When I say he doesn’t look ill i mean it in terms of his overall figure, his body is still strong despite him going grey. Virgil says Henry is strong but he also says he is sallow.  You might think of sallow complexion as of yellowish or dark. But sallow can also mean unhealthy pale. Not everybody has that glow to the skin, we associate with health. Especially people with very pale skin, often can seem to bit sick of us.

 Imo this is the difference between having fair white skin-very pale with that healthy glow and sallow white skin-white pale without healthy glow.

(Are you listening Anne Boleyn fans? Your lady probably wasn’t troubled by jaundice nor was dark-skinned/olive-skinned. She just looked bit sick. Which I’d be too if Henry VIII kept persuing me. I’d feel vomit raise up constantly. Ok maybe not early on in his reign, but later yep. I’m preparing entire post decidated to how many people he had killed.)

But you might disagree and think the painting doesn’t show Henry VII’s real features, you’ve seen his paintings and you’ve seen photos of his tomb and it is not him!

But isn’t genetics wonderful thing?

Even if it fools you sometimes.  

VI) Henry VII, Hardwick Hall, National Trust Collection:  

Links:https://www.nationaltrustcollections.org.uk/object/1129171

https://artuk.org/discover/artworks/henry-vii-14571509-172314/search/keyword:henry-vii-117090/page/8

Often this painting is thought of as young Henry VII.

I’ve seen it years prior and  thought that yellow varnish played trick on portrait of Henry VII with light grey hair and created ilusion of blond hair and of much younger Henry VII-which then somebody copied into separate painting.

Problem is, now I’ve seen yellow varnish on light grey hair, and it doesn’t create such ilussion! My assumption was wrong!

So is it truly young Henry VII? Dressed and posed in same style as when he is grey? Not one wrinkle? It’s possible it is copy made to look him this young.

But what if the identity of the sitter is wrong? Remember, there is often great resemblence between family members and often their portraits are mislabelled, mistaken for their relative!

Imo, this is father and son(V and VI), painted at same time. I can’t tell you if VI is young Harry or Arthur. I don’t know. Siblings can be hard to tell apart. Darkening of pigments might have turned Arthur’s hair in known portrait to brown and Henry’s red hair could in childhood be more to golden strawberry blond.

By the way the boy’s hand rest on dark ledge, yet again, and these last 3 paintings are aproximately same size(H 35.5-36.8 cm and W 25.5-27.5 cm, max 2 cm difference). With IV(which doesn’t have ledge and misses few fingertips) being the shortest. 

The details in IV, V and IV suggests they are work of same painter. That painter could be Meynnart Wewyck. The differences between these paintings and those already proven to be by his workshop, could simply be that these belong into other stage than the two stages we already knew about. 

Hence these could be the oldest paintings by Wewyck, thus oldest Tudor paintings. And if that is not worthy of investigation, idk what is.

I hope you’ve enjoyed it and no, part 5 won’t be arriving as quickly as part 4.

[taelme]

High school classmate!Lucas

genre: it’s kind of set in like the past? like u know those like Taiwanese school dramas like that kind of vibe mixed with like reply 1988 vibes idk how to classify it , so high school!au  (fluff, slow burn, angst with a relatively happy ending) 

pairing/s: Lucas / Reader, ( some of nct/superm/wayv appear in this!! ( just Kun, Ten, and Sicheng ) )

word count: 12k+

tw: like domestic abuse like,,, tough family situations,, 

a/n: this was kind of inspired by a dream I had of Lucas and like I’m honestly really in love with like the vibes of those like Taiwanese school dramas like ‘Our Times’ and like those dramas with the vibes of like the Reply series, so I thought I would try something different and do something for Lucas inspired by that,,, so enjoy!! I had a lot of fun imagining how Lucas would behave if he were in this situation.. 

Usually, Lucas would have stuck to just pacing around the stretch of field near his house whenever he left his house out of boredom when his parents weren’t home, but he didn’t regret wandering into the market on the day of his 8th birthday, after a ritual cutting of a small cupcake his housemaid had prepared for him. Because if he hadn’t decided to wander, his life wouldn’t have changed, according to him. ( which really meant he wouldn’t have stumbled across your grandma’s noodle shop )

“Hello,” your grandma smiled in greeting, waving at the young boy who looked fascinated at such a place, never having been to any eating place other than a restaurant before. Lucas waved shyly at her, carefully climbing onto a stool near the table next to the kitchen, watching in fascination as your grandma cooked.

“What’s your name, dear?” she asked the rosy cheeked boy, who fiddled with his short bangs before replying a quick, “Huang Xuxi,” to her.

It didn’t take long for your grandma to realize why the name sounded so familiar, realizing this boy was from the rich family that had just moved into the neighbourhood barely a month ago.

“You want something to eat?” Lucas considered her offer as seriously as any 8 year old would, glancing between the kitchen to your grandma, before reaching into his pocket and being only met with fabric, frowning upon realizing he hadn’t brought money with him.

Shaking his head in reply, rather sadly at that, he told your grandma, “I don’t have any money with me....”

She had simply laughed in reply, shaking her head, “Oh, that won’t be necessary, Xuxi. You can have it for free.”

His eyes widened in delight, smiling at her appreciatively.

She’d brought a small bowl of her dumpling soup noodles back to where the boy sat. Watching with a motherly smile on her face as he took his first sip of the soup, his eyes widening.

“Aunty...I love you,” your grandma guffawed, reaching out a hand to pat the boy’s head endearingly.

Lucas’ eyes widened in realization, “you know...” he leaned closer to your grandma with the intention to divulge a big secret, his eyes widening the closer he got to her, his voice lowering to a whisper. “A girl in my class gave me a dumpling that tastes just like this!”

Your grandma tilted her head at him, having a feeling she knew who he was talking about. “And what might this girl’s name be?”

“Y/N!” he told her with a grin, munching on an amount of noodles that seemed too much for his tiny mouth.

“I’ll tell you a secret,” your grandma leaned closer to his ear, “she’s my granddaughter.”

The noodles threatened to slip out from Lucas’ mouth when he gasped loudly, giggling after as he covered his mouth so his noodles could stay inside.

“What do you think of her?” your grandma asked him, seeing him stare at his noodles with a smile playing at his lips, shrugging repeatedly.

“She’s....cute,” he mumbled, making your grandma laugh.

“I’ll tell you what, whenever you come here you can get a free bowl of noodles,” his eyes widened, nodding profusely till your grandma continued, “on one condition.”

He nodded at her, putting on his best serious-looking face to show her he was ready, “Help me look after Y/N in school,” Lucas figured at that time that this was a simple request, bringing his hand up in a salute position.

“Will do, aunty!”

===

Now, 18 year old Lucas had developed his ‘efficient fool-proof system’ to do small things that would make things easier for you without you knowing.

For instance, using his good rapport with the market vendors to make sure you would already have the freshest possible selection for the noodle shop, to even silently going out of his way to make sure nobody in school gave you trouble for your background ( which meant that he would personally pay for your new set of uniform every school year, passing it to Sicheng and instructing him to tell you it was given by the school )

“You look lovely, dear,” your gaze fluttered to the figure standing at the doorway, which was none other than your grandmother, dressed in shoddy clothes and an old apron, what you recognized to be her work clothes.

Your family wasn’t well off ( well by family, you meant your grandma and yourself since it's been that way since you could remember ), you barely scraped by off of the profits your grandma made from her noodle shop that you occasionally helped out with, but you still received supplies from the school.

Such as the uniform you were wearing now. Ironed crisp and clean, you passed off as any other average student in your school. You were thankful your school decided to implement uniforms earlier than other schools, since you really didn't think your normal clothes could compare to the other girls in your school, not wanting a repeat of the episode you experienced in the past.

You picked up your school bag from where it was on the bed, walking over to kiss your mother on the cheek, “bye mama, I’ll be home by 6.”

Your grandma waved her hand at you in dismissal, clucking her tongue at you disapprovingly, “It’s okay, it’s okay! Take your time. Have a good day at school!”

You picked up the pace as you walked, eager to avoid bumping into Sicheng and his friends, especially not at this time of the morning. But you seemed to have spoken too soon, hearing the familiar sound of bicycle wheels whirring and boyish shouting.

They would call you with a teasing tone, making you wince, avoiding eye contact with them until one of them wheeled their bicycles in front of you, stopping your path.

“What do you want, Sicheng,” You huffed, staring up at him impatiently.

The boy scrunched up his nose as he shot you a mischievous smile, “is it such a crime that i wanted to say good morning to you?” his words were all meshed together in a combined mumble, a habit of Sicheng's ever since he was young, but the black haired boy never seemed to care too much about it- since after all, to him it didn't make a difference as long as you understood him.

“Yeah, okay fine, good morning. Now would you please get out of my way so I can go to school?” Believe you, you loved Sicheng, but sometimes you really did miss your quiet walks to school to enjoy the scenery at your own pace.

“C’mon, your grandma wouldn’t be happy if I just let you walk even though I have a bike, let me give you a ride.”

You knew this could go either of two ways. Either you stand firm and have a long battle with Sicheng to let you walk to school on your own, or you suck it up and let him give you a ride to school.

The ride to school would have seemed harmless to anyone else, since Sicheng was a friend of yours for as long as you could remember, but it was just that you would rather not hang out with him while he was with his friends, since they didn't exactly have the best reputation in school.

You did a once-over at his friends that were with him currently, a senior named Ten with short choppy black hair and many piercings (and very expensive shoes, you noted), and a boy your age that went by the name of Lucas. Although you could talk and joke around with Ten one-to-one, you don’t think you’ve ever had a proper sentence spoken to you by Lucas before.

The boy was all expensive sneakers, sports brand bags, the latest music tapes that were extremely hard to get if you didn't save up. He lived pretty near you, so you would usually walk past his giant- at least compared to yours -house whenever you were on your way to the market, sometimes even catching a glimpse of his mother leaving the house to go to work on rare days when the car was parked in the house. It was almost as if the placement of his house was just a daily reminder for you that you were both from different worlds.

Sure there were times you would think was cute, and you may have given him your last dumpling when you were younger as an unspoken love offering, but as you grew older, you felt like maybe you and Lucas just shouldn't, and wouldn't happen. After all, you figured your heart was too weak to get put up for rejection.

You were pulled from your thoughts when you saw Sicheng snapping his fingers in front of your face, snatching your gaze from Lucas.

"So...?" he raised an eyebrow.

“Alright, but don’t drive too fast,” you told Sicheng, hurling yourself onto the back of his bicycle with your back facing his, making sure your skirt was covering whatever it needed to cover, grabbing on tighter to the seat when the abrupt start of the bicycle moving almost made you lose your balance.

Ten had gone ahead and rode his bicycle faster than Sicheng, which had only meant Lucas was directly in your view. He pedalled effortlessly, his gaze on you intent, as if he had wanted to say something, but decided against it in the end. You had almost let yourself get carried away watching how he would do things with a certain amount of charisma that you found almost difficult not to look at, even the small smirk he gave you when he caught you staring at him left you breathless.

“Don’t flirt with Lucas behind my back, okay.” Sicheng sing-songed, earning a hearty eye-roll from you, your eyes darting nervously to look at Lucas for a reaction but strangely he had seemed absolutely unaffected. Instead, he simply huffed and pedalled faster, overtaking Sicheng and maintaining his pace there.

You felt almost hurt at this unspoken rejection, not knowing how to come back from the incident, tried your best to push any kind of curious thought you had about Lucas away from your head during the ride.

What was so special about him anyway?​ you huffed at the thought. Other than the fact that he was the son of a prestigious lawyer and company owner, and that he was the star of the school's basketball team, there wasn't much else for you to work with when it came to unraveling who exactly Lucas Wong was. ( well other than the occasional rumour that he was in a gang and got into fights frequently )

Though Sicheng was your closest friend, you had never spoken to him on the topic of Lucas any further than simple things like how well he played at a game or how nice his hair looked that day. There were rumours floating around that his family situation was rough, but you knew it wasn't your place to ask.

Little did you know, Sicheng wasn't as well informed about it as you thought he was; only aware of the fact that Lucas would leave home occasionally, and skip school a few days after.

"Hey! Wait up! Oh-I guess he isn't gonna wait up after all," you peeped your head around to see Lucas having disappeared from sight.

"Let me know if you see him at class today, yeah? God, it's the first day of the school year; he can't possibly be skipping already," Sicheng huffed with the tone of a worried mother, but instead of laughing, you couldn't help but sympathise with him, wincing slightly out of pity.

You shrugged your shoulders, your hands still gripping the seat of the bicycle, "to be honest, I just wouldn't care if I were you, I mean, what's the point if he's not gonna listen anyway? I wouldn't be surprised if he gets kicked out of his house again, he's asking for it with those bad grades he brings home all the time," you were taken aback by the sharp thump on your head you received from Sicheng after that statement.

"Don't ever say that again. I'll tell you this once and I won't say it again, Y/N. Sometimes for Lucas, just a little care is all he's asking for."

===

"Class, please look at the notice board in front of the class for your new seating arrangement," your class representative had announced amidst the sound of reunions and loud chatter before the teacher arrived.

Making a beeline for the notice board, you analysed the seating plan as you munched on the dumplings your grandma had packed for you for breakfast, your index finger finally landing on your name on the square at the corner of the room, looking at the squares to your seat’s perimeter, you noticed that the table behind you, at the very back corner of the class next to the window belonged to the very boy you were hoping you wouldn't need to be in such close contact with, Lucas. The sound of the girls at the table near you chatting animatedly suddenly becoming deafening.

"Did you hear? Lucas Wong rejected Hana from year 3's confession? She looked so afraid I almost felt bad for the poor girl!" you heard one of them lament, and you made to walk past them as slow as you could so you could hear more.

"When did she do it?"

"This morning!" you tuned out the rest of the conversation, figuring this was just another reason to add to your list of reasons '​why you shouldn't go after Lucas Wong'​.

You figured if you wanted to continue to lay low in school, you would stick to admiring him from afar, instead of putting yourself up to get hurt like that. There were only a few ways to look at Lucas for people in your school: you either didn't want to get involved with him, were scared of him or you liked him ( sometimes ​all three​ for people in situations like yours )

You reassured yourself that seeing Lucas wouldn't be a problem if you just didn't try to cross paths with him, until you looked for your seat and realised that there was Lucas seated at the desk behind yours. His long legs stretched out on your chair, hoodie-covered head leaning against the windowsill, eyes closed peacefully with earpiece plugged into his ears.

Your hands unconsciously clenched harder on the dumplings, anxiously contemplating finding another chair since yours was currently being used as a leg rest, but you couldn't see a free chair in sight, eventually deciding to munch on the dumpling you had, in the hopes that it would give you strength for what you were about to do.

Just as you were going closer to Lucas, he was already very aware of your presence next to him, the dumpling you were eating awakening his senses to the very first time he ate that same dumpling. His stomach growling softly, making him flush in embarrassment with his eyes still closed.

Your gentle fingers prodded at his shoulder lightly, and you had to remind yourself to keep chewing as you saw the way his eyelids fluttered open and his gaze landed on you. Shifting his upper body slightly to face you, Lucas lifted a hand to remove the earpieces from his ears, giving u an expectant look.

"Uh...sorry, I know you were sleeping and all but uh..I kind of...you know, ​need​ my chair," you pointed at the chair his legs were currently resting on, "and there's no extra chair here so uh...yeah if you could just...you know, give it back?"

Lucas looked at you with a curious expression, setting his earpiece down on the table, and you found yourself almost afraid to make eye contact with him, lest your face turn red from the attention he was giving you.

"What do I get in return?" his voice shocked you, seeing as you've never heard it in a while, you never noticed it could get this deep.

"Uh...what do you want? I'm not sure if I can get you those branded stuff, then again you probably have them already-"

His gaze flickered between you and the item of food you were holding in your hands, "I want the dumpling," he spoke.  

You cocked an eyebrow at his unexpected request.

"This? You want this dumpling? Are you sure? You've probably tasted a lot better.."

He shot you a smirk, tilting his head at you, "I said I want the dumpling, not your house. You don't have to ​fight me." He held out his hand expectantly, making you reach out hesitantly before finally placing the small plastic bag onto his hand with a shaky breath leaving your lips, seeing him shoot you a smile and use his free hand to pat your head twice.

"Good girl," he lifted his legs off the chair with a thud that seemed both harsh yet dramatic, "the chair's yours."

You turned around and hauled the chair back to your seat, all sorts of confusion washing over you from that interaction, completely oblivious to the stares your classmates were giving the both of you. God help you if you wanted to get through this year sane.

===

“Y/N, I packed an extra breakfast, pass it to cheng cheng for me would you? His mother is out of town so he doesn’t have lunch.” You hummed as you packed the blue lunchbox with white flower patterns on it into your bag, though you knew for a fact that Sicheng had no problem with his mom not cooking lunch for him, since it gave him an excuse to loiter out later with Lucas and Ten.

You proceeded to school as per normal, handing Sicheng’s lunch to him when you passed by his class in the morning, assuming it was very much enjoyed by him judging from how the lunchbox would come back to you practically clean at the end of the day.

You noticed that Lucas was coming to school more often, tending to see him hanging around with Sicheng. But you weren’t sure for exactly what since you were on a short school break now, and the only reason you went to school was because you had to prepare for the sports fest as part of class committee.

After which, you would usually wait for Sicheng to be done with soccer practice before you two would go home together. So there was your routine for your break thus far, and now, on an absolutely blistering Tuesday afternoon, you found yourself sat in the spectating area overlooking the soccer field, using your textbook to shelter your head from the heat.

You contemplated filling your water bottle since you were thirsty and well, had nothing else better to do, but figured stealing from Sicheng would be a lot more convenient. Making your way down the bleachers carefully, you straightened out your messy skirt, smoothing out the creases that had formed after sitting for so long.

Quickly locating Sicheng’s bag from the messy scrawl of his name in white marker on the bag strap, you shuffled around in it and was about to take the water bottle from his backpack, until you realised there was something missing from the bag; your extra lunchbox.

You found it a little strange, not knowing why Sicheng would have misplaced your lunchbox like that, about to turn around and pull him out of practice to give him an earful about it before you saw Lucas jogging towards you, standing abruptly still upon spotting you, his hands behind his back and his gaze looking elsewhere as he quickly made a sharp turn, walking away from your direction.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, completely forgetting that you were thirsty since Lucas had definitely seemed as though he was going to go towards your direction before he'd seen you, so you decided you would carry out a little experiment.

Stepping away from Sicheng's bag carefully, making as if to walk to the water cooler, you'd hid behind a pillar where you would be blocked from Lucas' gaze, watching said boy indeed making his way back to the bleachers carefully, his long legs stumbling and stretching over the bags to bend down to Sicheng's bag, finally pulling out what he was holding behind his back, your gaze practically burning holes into the lunchbox as you watched him shove it back into Sicheng's bag quickly.

Sicheng was going to have to answer to this.

After practice, you bounded down the spectator stand, standing with your hands on your hips next to Sicheng, a deep frown on your face.

“What’s got you looking so ugly?” He smirked, using his knuckle to nudge your head lightly, flicking his hair away from his face as he reached over to pick up his bag and sling it over his shoulder.

“Dong Sicheng, you’d better get some answers ready.”

===

“Alright,” you began just as you both turned onto the road of your neighbourhood, the clicking of his bicycle almost unnoticeable from how long you both had been walking, “have you been eating my grandma's lunch boxes?”

Sicheng shot you a look of disbelief, his sudden slip of his hand on his bicycle giving away that you had caught him off guard, though he straightened up quickly, replying ever so stoically. 

“Yeah, of course, I mean, they come back to you empty don’t they?”

“Oh yeah, they do. D’you remember what she made for you yesterday?” Sicheng's eyes darted in so many directions within a span of a few seconds. Praying to God that what he would guess would actually be correct.

“Noodles with soup?” you frowned at him, earning a sigh from Sicheng, knowing he had trapped himself then and there.

“You’ve been giving them to Lucas, haven’t you?” you accused, like a parent who had found their child doing something they weren't supposed to behind their back.

You held the silence, watching Sicheng squirm visibly before he gave in.

“Okay, fine! I did. But what’s so bad about that?!”

“God, Sicheng, he’s rich! Why can’t he get his own lunch? Why does he have to eat yours! What have you been eating for lunch then?”

Sicheng sighed, “Look, he doesn’t get lunch either, alright? And I mean, isn’t it good that he loves your grandma's cooking so much? What’s with you and always thinking people have bad intentions?” He told you, disbelief laced in his tone.

Ignoring his last question, you scoffed at him, “that wasn’t my grandma's cooking, Cheng, it was mine. Mama told me to start making them on my own because the restaurant needed to open earlier and she couldn’t get enough sleep so I did it instead. All those extra dumplings ‘you’ asked for? All me.”

“Oh,” Sicheng murmured, making you groan loudly, “Lucas doesn’t even acknowledge my presence on a daily basis, and I’ve been making lunch for him for two weeks now? You’ve gotta be kidding me, Sicheng.”

“Okay, Y/N, I’m sorry. But there wasn’t much I could do, he looked really happy eating it. It's the first proper meal he’s had in ages.”

“He should pay me.”

Sicheng shot you a pleading look, “can’t it be service for a friend?”

You glared at him, “No. He’s not my friend, he’s your friend.”

“And any friend of mine is a friend of yours, am I right?” he smiled at you sheepishly, flinching slightly when you snapped at him.

“Cut the crap, Cheng. If he wants more noodles, he can come to the store and pay for them himself.”

===

“Hey, Y/N, can you stay back to finish up the boards for next week? we sort of need them by the end of this week” you were stuck in the dusty classroom trying to design, draw and colour the signboards for the sports fest, only halfway done when you heard a knock at the door, from the class representative informing you she was about to lock the classroom so you had better find another place to do the signboards and hold the flyers.

You complied, albeit reluctantly, stacking the boards and boxes of flyers ( which were atrociously heavy you may add ) until they piled up so high you couldn’t see the stairs as you were heading down them.

Hoping to God you wouldn’t bump into anything, you slowly made your way down, but soon you heard the loud thundering of running on the steps.

“You’d better run!” you heard a boy shout before something hard smacked into you from behind, causing you to lose your balance, sending you falling down the stairs with a yelp.

You tried to break your fall but were too late, your wrist coming into contact with the floor and feeling as though you had just had it run over by a car, the boxes and boards strewn about around you. Hearing light footsteps in a run, you felt a hand on both your shoulders, looking up to see Lucas in his sports attire, his hair messy and slightly damp with sweat, looking at you with concern, before turning to the direction of the people that had bumped into you, shouting what would have sounded like a threat if you weren't too focused on the pain in your wrist to pay attention.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?” you tried to recover from the shock that he was actually talking to you before replying him,

“I hope not, I mean, I think I’m okay? My wrist really hurts though, I feel like it's broken.”

He made a grim face, “come with me,” he easily helped you up. 

“Can you walk?”

You nodded in reply, watching him scoop up the boards and carry the boxes along with an ease you were almost envious of.

You let him lead you to the school nurse's office, though you were still a bit tense regarding the whole lunchbox exchange you had with Sicheng earlier that day. You found that Lucas was very familiar with the nurse from always faking sick to get out of school.

“Hey doc, she fell down the stairs, can you check if her wrist is messed up?”

“It feels like it’s broken,” the nurse smiled, letting a small laugh escape her lips.

“For the last time, I’m not a doctor, Lucas. And it’s not broken, honey. Looks like you’ve just sprained it. You might find it a little difficult to write or do things with your hand the next few days, so just be careful, hmm?” she scribbled something down on the paper attached to her clipboard, noticing the way Lucas stared at her and nodded intently with a pensive look on his face as if she was giving him life advice, almost making you smile.

But that moment was short-lived when your gaze shifted to the incomplete signboards you were supposed to send for approval the next day, not knowing how you were going to complete all of that in time with your bad wrist.

The nurse kindly wrapped your wrist, and once you were done you noticed the sun was already setting, making you sigh once again. You weren't even able to push your worry aside to have enough time to refuse Lucas' help to bring the flyers and banners to your house, being an unspoken agreement.

You found yourself almost nervous during the walk home, afraid things would get awkward again given Lucas' non-existent urge to talk to you on the daily. But what had happened instead gave you a surprise, and a rather pleasant one at that.

“Are these the signboards for the sports meet thing?” you nodded with a hum of confirmation.

“I have no idea how I’m gonna finish them by tomorrow with my wrist like this..” you lamented, kicking at the ground as you walked.

He bit his lip, cutting in quickly before you could continue, “I can help you...and stuff. I have nothing on tonight...and it's not like you can do everything yourself with that wrist and all....” Lucas offered, his lips pressing into a thin line as he looked away from you to try to calm his heart which was racing so much.

“Are you sure? It’s not exactly the fun-est thing in the world..”

“No, really it’s fine, I want to,” he dismissed you, making you scrunch your nose up in distaste but agreeing anyway, not in any position to refuse.

===

“My grandma's still at work, so is it alright with you if I just heat up something from the fridge?”

He nodded profusely, setting the materials down with a rather loud thump on top of your dining table, “yeah, that’s fine by me. If you need help just tell me, alright? I’ll just get started on the boards first.”

You decided to take a quick shower first, undoing the wrap around your wrist so it wouldn’t get wet, after which, you changed into your more presentable pyjamas since Lucas was over, you quickly went to the kitchen and looked in the fridge to see if there was any leftover noodles.

Doing your best to heat it up and pour it into a nicer-looking bowl with your bad wrist, you slowly carried the bowls one by one to the living room, seeing his head shoot up at the smell wafting in from the kitchen. It was safe to say you wanted to present the best you could to him, not wanting him to think lowly of you or anything.

“Oh my God.” His mouth dropped open at the sight of the food before turning into a big smile, staring intently at the bowls before glancing at you, his gaze moving to your wrist and realising it was unwrapped.

The smile disappeared from his face, being replaced with a slight frown, letting out a little upset sound, a ‘tsk-tsk’ leaving his lips, he grabbed the bandage he saw lying on the table, “come here, sit down,” he instructed you.

You nervously watched as his big hands carefully wrapped your wrist just like how the nurse did, delicately but firmly, seeing how careful he was in tucking the ends into the bandage.

Letting a small smile of satisfaction appear on his face after he was done, “there, better?” he looked to you for affirmation, and you finally looked up from your wrist to make eye contact with him, seeming awfully similar to a little boy with that expression as you gave him a smile in return, nodding.

“Much better, thank you.”

You pushed the bowl towards him on the table, a little part of you feeling happy at how his smile grew bigger at the gesture.

“Thank you,” he murmured with a gentleness unlike anything you’ve seen before when it came to Lucas. Usually when one thinks of Lucas they would think of rowdiness, or big, rough actions, nothing like the Lucas you were currently witnessing for yourself.

“You really like the noodles, don’t you?” he looked at you mid scoffing down the food upon hearing your voice, making you let out a giggle.

Slurping the rest of his mouthful, a shy smile graced his face he nodded at you. “It tastes really...nostalgic.”

“How so?” you asked, curiosity taking over you.

“I uh..it’s a funny story actually, but...maybe for next time.” you hummed, nodding because you didn’t want to push him to do something out of his comfort zone.

After you ate, he had insisted on helping you to wash the dishes, claiming you had to let your hand rest.

"I noticed you've been coming to school more recently," you murmured casually, standing next to where he stood at the sink washing your dishes, seeing Lucas turn his head to look at you with a smirk.

"Well someone's pretty observant," he teased, a giggle leaving his lips as he looked back at the soapy dishes.

“What made you want to come?” you asked him, watching him pause his scrubbing at the dishes.

Lucas hummed in thought, pursing his lips before giving you a shrug, "Just, felt like it I guess."

“So...you didn't come to school before because you didn't feel like it?” you helped to put the dishes aside as he washed his hands, wiping them on his uniform as he let a small huff of half-hearted laughter leave his lips.

"Guess you could say that," he murmured.

“Weren’t you scared?”

Lucas turned to look at you with an eyebrow raised, “Of what?”

You frowned in confusion, “you know, don’t the teachers give you shit for not coming to school?”

He shook his head, walking back with you to your small dining table where the banners and posters were laid out. “They don’t really care anymore. But I’m planning on making a change this year!” he grinned at you, making you raise your eyebrows skeptically.

“You serious about that?” slightly surprised at his determination.

He nodded. “The serious-est.”

You let the conversation topic drop, with him taking a seat next to where you sat at the table and picked up on where he left off on the board, and you made yourself useful by doing whatever you could with your left hand, as well as telling him your ideas for the layout of the signboard and how you wanted to use the various materials. Though after a while Lucas had noticed you kept forgetting your wrist was injured and trying to help him cut things, nagging you for still trying to work when you should have been resting according to him.

“Lucas seriously, just let me help,” you insisted, a small pout on your lips.

“You can help me by resting,” he remained stubborn as ever, eventually leaving you to sit there and watch him.

You were surprised at how quickly he finished up the boards, just in time for when your grandma came home.

“Y/N! I’m back,” she called out, and you heard her soft shuffling get louder as she got closer to the dining table.

“Mama, I have a guest over,” you called out, hearing her squeal, practically running over to your room, her eyes lighting up when she saw Lucas.

“Xuxi?” You swore you'd never seen such a soft look in Lucas’ eyes before, seeing him get up to hug your grandma as if they’d known each other forever. “You’re so big now! I haven't seen you in so long,” she frowned playfully, making you even more confused.

“Do I wanna ask why?” you muttered, seeing Lucas’ cheeks tint pink in embarrassment, stepping back from your grandma and picking up his bag.

He brought a hand up to the side of his mouth in an action as if to whisper to you, mouthing a 'next time' to you with a soft smile,

“I hope Y/N has been good to you while you were here,” she looked at you pointedly, making you huff in exaggerated offence.

Lucas was quick to reply, shaking his head in dismissal, “oh, no it’s fine, I brought her home because she fell down the stairs in school, kind of messed up her wrist,” he gestured to his own wrist as he spoke, and your grandma's eyebrows knitted in concern.

“Oh gosh, sorry, she’s a clumsy one," she laughed, her hand reaching out to hold Lucas' hand in a rather delicate way, leaning in to whisper something to him you couldn't quite catch. You were beginning to feel as though you were the outsider here.

“​Mama​,” you whined, seeing the tiny crow’s feet beside her eyes appear as she laughed, shaking her head at you.

“You’d better be getting home, love, it’s getting late,” her tone was gentle as she spoke to him, and he nodded, bidding her goodbye before she left the room.

Lucas turned to face you, and you stood up, taking a step toward him, “I’ll be...heading off now,” he sounded almost breathless. “Rest your wrist, okay? see you,” he smiled at you, waving goodbye before he turned to leave.

You hadn't noticed you called him until he turned around, looking at you expectantly with his eyebrows raised, making you flush when your voice had sounded softer than you intended it to.

"Thanks, by the way, for helping me with the banners....I couldn't have finished it tonight without your help," you pressed your lips together in a tight-lipped smile, your hand reaching up to play with the lobe of your ear.

Stepping forward so he wasn't so far from you, he shook his head, "I'm glad I could help."

You felt for the first time as if you were watching yourself from a third person’s perspective, the way the wind suddenly seemed to be blowing at a perfect speed, and the music you could hear wafting outside from your grandma’s radio, to the way the streetlamp outside your house was casting the perfect shadow on Lucas’ face, right down to the way he smiled at you as if you were in a scene of a romantic drama ( that you were pretty sure if you were watching with Sicheng this would be the part you both start hitting each other excitedly )

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

You were lost for words, almost breathless at his soft shy smile. “Goodnight, Lucas.”

===

The next time you had lessons and your wrist was already starting to heal, you braved through the soreness you felt in your wrist and did your best to make lunch for both you and Lucas, even adding a small compartment where you placed a small packet of candy you had in the house.

Wrapping it up nicely, it was safe to say Lucas was shocked when you had handed the lunchbox to him directly, gaze darting between you and the lunchbox as if searching for some sort of affirmation that it belonged to him.

You felt eyes on you from some of your classmates, all eager to see how Lucas would reject you like how he usually did to girls who gave him things like this, but you barely noticed their gasps and murmurs from how happy you were when he took the lunchbox into his large hands, smiling so widely to you his happiness practically radiated from him.

"Consider it...a 'thank you', for helping me the other day," you told him, seeing him nod at you gratefully,

He lifted the lid of the lunchbox slightly, eyes widening when he saw its contents and looking at you with bright eyes, "I really, wow uh, I just, I wasn't expecting this...you made this?" he gestured at the half-opened lunchbox with his index finger.

You nodded in reply, "I've been making almost all of Sicheng’s," you swore you saw his face flush at that, his eyes widening but went back to normal quickly.

"You're really good at it," he said firmly, as if trying to convince you. To which you simply shrugged in reply.

"Wasn't sure why you liked them so much, but it's... all I have to offer, really." You took your seat in front of him, doing your best to suppress your racing heart when he leaned forward, as if he knew your heart was racing and he intentionally wanted to make it worse. ( But little did you know his heart was practically pounding in his chest he almost couldn't concentrate )

"Trust me, it's all I need."

"How are you gonna pass it back to me?" you asked him after class, watching how he slung his bag over his shoulder so smoothly, watching the way his eyebrows would raise as he thought, his lips pushed out resembling a duck.

"I'm working after this, so you can just pass it to Sicheng, he'll hand it over to me," you suggested, not very keen on Lucas seeing the ruckus of the noodle shop during peak hours.

Glancing at your watch, your eyes widened in realisation of the time, "I've gotta get going, bye Lucas!" you waved, seeing him wave back with a smile, his loud "Bye!" making you laugh.

What you didn't notice until now was that Lucas was the kind of person that would seem quiet on the outside, but once he was comfortable enough with you ( which for him, seemed to have happened after you injured your wrist ), he would let his true colours show. For example, especially with regards to Lucas, you tended to hear him before you actually saw him in most situations.

Now when he saw you in school, he would bellow your name from afar before jogging up to you, his hair ruffled and his shirt untucked, tie askew. He was the kind of boy to get through the crowd and go through all the trouble of getting to you for the sake of a 'good morning' greeting, or wanting to walk to class together.

Of course you couldn't refuse, because of how he'd already gone through the trouble of finding you in the crowd, simply choosing to enjoy his company instead of pay any attention to the girls who stared at you with such envy or shock. But you barely paid them many attention, since Lucas himself seemed to command all of your attention whenever he was with you. You couldn’t say you were complaining though, not when he’d been smiling a lot more and looking happier in general.

Your grandma was out of town temporarily, since she had to visit her sick sister. You were currently in the noodle shop on a weekday evening, trying to wait tables as quickly as you could since the dinner crowd was starting to come in.

With your hair pulled back into a ponytail, you wiped the sweat on your brow with your sleeve, trying your best to take orders and make the food at the same time, all the while trying to ignore the soreness you felt in your wrist whenever you carried things on the heavier side. You had just seated a group of middle aged working men who clearly had a few drinks before coming here. They had always given your grandma trouble, so you were praying in your heart that they wouldn’t be as troublesome to deal with today as well.

You had brought their food to their table, the narrow aisle between the tables preventing you from manoeuvring yourself around the table to serve them individually, choosing to stand at the same place and trust that they could pass down their bowls themselves since you knew your wrist wouldn’t be able to take it. 

“How have you been? Haven’t seen you helping your grandma out in a while,” the uncle next to where you stood had let his hand linger on your arm, an uncomfortable warmth lingering there as you tried to calm your racing heartbeat.

You hadn't noticed Lucas’ bicycle pulling up next to the store over the loud chatter in the store, as he stepped into the doorway of your humble shop, his eyes practically glaring daggers at the uncle whose hand was starting to creep down your back, resting on your bum as you wriggled in his hold.

The rest of them were busy in their own tipsy state, telling you just how much you’ve grown. 

“I have to get back to work-” you felt a presence behind you before the uncle in front of you had his hands roughly taken off you by Lucas.

Lucas pulled you back protectively behind him, “I don’t think that’s very appropriate of you, she’s clearly uncomfortable.”

The men had recognised Lucas to be his mother’s son, looking at him with evident contempt before cursing under their breath and resuming with their meals.

He followed your quick steps into the kitchen as you hurriedly cooked another bowl of noodles.

“Thanks, for that, by the way,” you said in choppy intervals, the steam from the wok giving you a good excuse for the blush creeping onto your cheeks.

“There’s no need to thank me,” he murmured from where he stood in the kitchen, his arms folded over his chest as he leant against the doorframe yet making sure he didn't get in your way.

“What are you doing here?” you looked away from your cooking to stare at his ruffled hair and messy school uniform, and almost lost it at the smile he gave you when you made eye contact with him.

Lucas' hand came up out of habit to cover his mouth, trying to regain his composure before he remembered he wasn't at one of his family dinners with corporate guests and that he could just be himself without you, slowly lowering his hand and letting his smile show.

Lucas gestured to the lunchbox he'd placed on the empty table in the kitchen. “Here to return your lunchbox, remember?” you made an ‘o’ shape with your mouth in realisation, nodding in understanding.

“Is it just you running the store today?” you nodded, seeing him shake his head, not seeming to like the answer you gave him.

“I’ll help you, alright? I’ll wait the tables and seat them and all that stuff, you just focus on cooking here, we’ll get the crowd cleared in no time,” he flashed you another of his optimistic smiles, his hand coming up in a fist to cheer you on before putting on a small apron and carrying the bowls you made to where you told him to bring them to, figuring you weren't in any position to say no to him right now.

And he was right, in no time you were finished tending to the dinner crowd and he had sat himself at the counter as he watched you take a seat next to him, rolling your wrist around slightly in an attempt to soothe it.

“God, that was fast, like really fast, thank you so much. I can’t imagine how much longer I would’ve taken if it weren’t for you helping me,” you told him. Lucas shook his head with a loud sound of dismissal, waving his hand at you, “It’s no problem. How come your grandma's not here?”

“She’s out of town for the month...her sister’s sick so she went to visit her, so I stayed here to take care of the house and the shop and all, since it’s pretty much...all we have," you sighed, refusing to look at him as you anticipated a look of pity or for Lucas to look at you as if you weren't good enough.

“I like it,” you shot him a confused look, and he was prompted to continue, “the shop, I mean. It’s cozy and warm.”

“What are you talking about? We can barely feel the heating in here unless you’re in the kitchen,” you laughed, shoving his shoulder playfully, seeing him shake his head.

“The feeling,” he explained, making you smile at how genuine he sounded.

“Hey, you know, if you could use some help here after school I don’t mind helping you...you know, since your grandma is out and everything..” he trailed off, looking away nervously as he anticipated your answer.

You pretended to contemplate even though you knew what you wanted to say, but then reality hit you again.

“Lucas, you know, as much as I would love some help around here while my grandma is gone, we can’t afford to pay you.”

His answer came back in a heartbeat, looking at you with the most serious expression you’d ever seen from him, “I’ll work here for free.”

You scoffed in shock, not finding it in you to be able to believe him, “What? wha- why would you do that?” you frowned, seeing him shake his head at you, insistent on his proposal.

“I don’t want to work here for the money, I want to work here to help you.”

You felt like all of it was so surreal, even as you outstretched your hand for him jokingly, “well, then you’re hired, Lucas.”

“On one condition, though,” he added quickly before he shook your hand, so it stayed clasped in his, the warmth of his very much bigger hand causing butterflies to flit wildly in your tummy, “call me, Xuxi, it's my actual name, not Lucas.” You smiled, nodding as you shook his hand.

“Sure thing, ​Xuxi.​ ” The smile you saw on his face after that was your favourite by far.

===

Before you knew it, seeing Xuxi became a daily thing, you had started to get used to the way he would get flustered when he knocked things over in the kitchen, to the way he did silly dances for you to see from the kitchen when he was wiping up tables and stacking chairs.

The shop had attracted quite a new number of girl students as well, all eager to see Xuxi look charismatic and charming when he was working, but you had to admit you enjoyed seeing the different side of him for yourself when you two were closing up the store or preparing ingredients before it opened.

You absolutely loved how the Xuxi you got to know now was so different from the Lucas you had all thought out in your head. For instance, he would ask for you to teach him how to make the dumpling, then never make it ever again and insist you make it for him, since his ‘didn’t taste the same’. He would walk you home every day, and take you on his bike to school sometimes ( much to Sicheng’s amusement ), as well as drive you to the shop whenever he didn’t have basketball practice.

And with Lucas in the shop, that brought Ten and Sicheng's presence occasionally as well, always teasing you and Xuxi as if you two were a newly married couple that opened up the store, never failing to make Xuxi blush and make you scoff. And you had enjoyed getting to know Ten more, with how he would recommend you new music and lend you his cassette tapes and you would share with each other your reviews on the different artists.

What Sicheng always loved the most from this entire new arrangement was telling you how Xuxi was so excited to work every day that he could, so excited to go to school, a side he’d never seen in Xuxi before, which you would never admit to Sicheng that loved to hear you played a part in.

Out of your own pathetic attempt to keep modest, you would always tell Sicheng to stop making things up, but the boy was just dying to tell you how much Xuxi actually talks about you when he’s with Sicheng and Ten, which of course you didn’t hear because if you did Sicheng would be dead meat.

But you hadn’t known the fact that Xuxi thought you knew this fact all the while, and you only discovered this when you were walking back from the store one night, after he had bought your favourite ice cream for you as a means to celebrate the end of a long day. Enjoying the way everything ( which may or may not include Lucas ) looked and felt warm with the sunset in your line of sight.

“You know, I never would’ve thought you’d be this nice,” you murmured around a mouthful of ice cream.

You heard a gasp on his end, feigning hurt as he placed a large hand against his heart, “I’m hurt,” he laughed.

“For real! I always got scared when I saw you rejecting those girls who would write you love letters and buy you buns from the bakery in school.”

He made a face at that, licking his ice cream before replying you, “That’s because I was never interested, and I figured might as well let them know straight up instead of lead them on.”

“Why not? Some of them were actually really nice, you know?” you wondered out loud, licking a particularly substantial amount of ice cream at one go that it made the roof of your mouth sting, your features scrunching up in a grimace.

He shrugged simply, glancing down at you and smiling at the expression you made from the ice cream, “guess I wasn’t paying too much attention to them.”

“Yeah, cause you were too busy paying attention to my grandma?” you joked, searching his expression for a reaction only for him to remain unfazed.

“Maybe ‘cause she had such a pretty granddaughter,” he said nonchalantly, making you choke on your ice cream, stumbling slightly only for him to reach a hand out to steady you.

“Careful what you say, Xuxi, people might start rumours you like me,” you joked, trying to calm yourself down both from choking and from his words that caused you to choke, turning to frown at him when you heard no answer. Looking at him with your eyebrows raised expectantly, he made no move to act as though you were saying anything he objected to, simply shrugging at you.

"Not something entirely possible if you think about it," he told you, finishing up his ice cream. "I win!" he cheered, pointing at your still half-eaten ice cream, making you roll your eyes with a laugh.

"Doesn't count, I didn't know we were competing," you shoved him playfully, laughter bubbling out of your lips uncontrollably at the way he stumbled back dramatically, using his bike to hold him up.

You were interrupted by his phone ringing, and his expression changed the moment he saw who was calling. “I have to go, I’ll be seeing you soon, then?”

You frowned. “Not tomorrow?” he shook his head,

“I’m pretty packed this week with basketball finals, you can uh...come for my game if you want.” you nodded, bidding him goodnight.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” you chuckled at how cheesy the scene was, feeling once again like this was a scene you would see in those dramas you would watch with Sicheng on his tv, waving him off as he laughed cutely, cycling off home, leaving you smiling like an idiot to yourself.

===

Lucas returned to his house, only to see his mother exactly how he had a feeling he would find her--in the living room with an almost empty bottle of wine next to her, her glass perched dangerously at the edge of the coffee table she was sitting next to, crying into the empty glass, not even bothering to look up when she heard Lucas enter the house.

She sobbed, grabbing the sleeves of Lucas' shirt when he had crouched down in front of her, the impact causing his bag strap to slide nearer to his neck uncomfortably. His mother had hiccupped, her breathing erratic from how hard she was crying, letting her head slump on his shoulder. The sight being nothing new to Lucas, he carefully nudged the wine glass nearer to the centre of the table, slowly peeling her hands from his sleeves.

"Ma. Hey, listen to me, you need to ​stop​ thinking he's still coming back," he looked resolutely into her eyes that resembled his so much, except hers were so filled with pain, whereas Lucas' were just filled with pity at how his father had managed to leave his mother in such a state once again- without even having to be physically there to cause it.

Lucas hadn't seen his father in months, the only sign of his existence being that he would send money to his family at the start of each month, and the action would always leave his mother at a loss, since he knew he spent each month hoping that the start of the next month would be greeted with his person instead of just his money.

"You don't understand, Lucas. He told me he was coming back," she cried, hot tears streaming down her face quickly, making anger bubble in Lucas, spilling out before he could control it.

"Yeah, when? That was months ago," he told her, making her frown at him.

"Don't say that. He loves me, he wouldn't do this to me."

"Don't say what, ma? I'm telling you the truth! He's left and he doesn't plan on coming back anytime soon, it’s not like he’s contacted you ever since he left," he told her, his voice raising in an attempt to get his words in her head more.

"Don't raise your voice at me!" she stood up, abruptly, albeit a little unstable, judging from how she leaned on the armrest of the sofa for support.

"You can't keep waiting for him, you know. You're going to reach your limit at one point," he told her, desperately wanting to get through to her and put an end to both their suffering.

"You," she pointed a finger at him condescendingly at him, prodding at his chest roughly, "don't get to decide ​my​ limits for me. I need him to come back, he's ​all I have​." Lucas’ mouth shut at that, he knew his mother’s first priority was his father, but she had never said anything like this to Lucas before. And now that he had heard it, it hurt him more than anything.

"So I’m just nothing, then? Just someone to clean up your shit every time you get drunk and you act like a goddamned child?" Lucas was blinded by his hurt now, his words escaping him faster than he could process them, "​please, if he loved you so much he wouldn't have left in the first place."

Lucas's mother was absolutely furious, not knowing how to retaliate, so she did what she always did. Looking for the nearest moveable object near her, which just so happened to be the empty wine bottle, she hurled it towards her son, Lucas having to bring his arms up to try and block it as she looked for more things to throw at him, seemingly directing her anger towards her husband to her only son.

"Ma, stop it!" Lucas' shouts went unnoticed, his mother picking up a pillow to hurl it at him roughly, his mother chucking the wine glass at Lucas, which had happened to shatter on the wall where he was standing next to, the glass pieces shattering and nicking Lucas on the face slightly. Only upon the sight of blood on her son’s face did Lucas’ mother realize what she had done, already feeling absolutely horrible about it.

Her grip on the item she was holding loosened, letting it fall with a soft thump onto the cushion of the sofa. Lucas’ eyes widened, his hand coming up to touch his cheek and wince at the sight of the red on his fingers when he pulled his hand away from his face.

“Honey-” Lucas held a hand up, flinching slightly when his mother tried to take a step towards him, taking steps away from her as he felt himself shaking from sheer anger and hurt.

He didn’t want to fight with her, that was the last thing he wanted, yet it seemed to be the only thing he got nowadays.

Shrugging his bag onto his shoulder, he left the house as quickly as he could, not bothering to close the door gently in his hurry to leave. He made his way to Ten’s house, who simply greeted him with a sad smile and let him in, no questions asked, when he saw Lucas at his doorstep, face cut and chest heaving from the angry tears he was shedding.

===

You weren’t surprised when you hadn’t seen Lucas show up to school the next day, not daring to ask any questions when Sicheng showed up at your doorstep to send you to school with a very tired-looking Ten.

You had no means of contacting Lucas, only hoping that he would decide to come to the noodle shop or even to basketball practice so you could talk to him, but even that didn’t happen.

Sicheng noticed the slight dulling of your mood after a few days had passed and Lucas still hadn’t shown up to school, trying to make you feel better by telling you he was okay.

“That’s not the point, Sicheng, I want to actually see for myself that he’s okay. I thought he was actually getting back on track, you know?” Sicheng nodded, understanding where you were coming from but not knowing how to comfort you.

Ten had told him prior to that day that Lucas absolutely refused to talk about what had happened, choosing to simply coop himself up in Ten’s guest room all day, only ever coming out to eat and even then it didn’t look like he was enjoying himself very much. Which of course was an abnormality in Lucas’ case.

What Ten wasn’t aware of was that when Lucas had returned to the house the day after the incident, he’d found a note his mother left for him, saying she was going to look for his father, and that she wouldn’t come back unless she was coming back with him. The last sentence of the letter not even a small ‘I love you’ but instead a reassurance that she would send him allowance every month.

Lucas figured he needed time to cool off and figure out what he was going to do now before he could even go back to see you- despite desperately wanting to do so. But he didn’t want to see you like this, not when he was preoccupied with all his thoughts you knew nothing about.

“I know,” Sicheng murmured, turning to you with a tight-lipped expression. “Just give him some time, he’ll be back in time for the game, then you can have a proper talk with him or whatever,” Sicheng sighed, standing up and offering you a hand to help you up.

“How about some ice cream?”

===

The day of the sports meet had arrived, the basketball nationals being the highlight of the day, and almost your entire school had gathered at the spectator stands to watch the game. With Sicheng next to you, you saw the home team arriving in the court, a small part of you relieved when you saw Xuxi on the court, next to Ten, looking perfectly fine and happy.

So you went through the game doing whatever you figured a supporter should do, raise your giant banner with Sicheng and cheer for your school’s team, especially when Xuxi or Ten would make a particularly impressive pass or score.

Thankfully, they had won, so you figured their spirits were still high by the time they finished their team debrief and were dismissed. You were standing outside the room waiting for Xuxi and Ten with Sicheng. You looked up expectantly when you heard the double doors of the school entrance open, only to huff in disappointment when you realized it was just another one of Xuxi’s teammates, Kun.

You kicked at the ground absentmindedly before you felt Sicheng start to nudge you, his nudging growing more rapid as the seconds passed, making you look up at him with an annoyed expression.

“What?” you asked, seeing his face scrunch up, trying his best to gesture to your opposite direction with his eyes without making it to obvious.

“Hey,” you turned to the direction of the voice only to see that it was Kun, looking at you with a soft smile, his hand gripping the strap of the duffel bag he had slung across his chest. Sicheng looked away so his staring wouldn’t make Kun uncomfortable, though he was intently listening to your conversation with Kun.

“Y/N, right?” you nodded. “Uh...I wanted to thank you for coming to the game,” he smiled sweetly at you, his voice matching his expression.

You shook your head in dismissal, “Oh, it’s nothing, really. I mean, Ten and Xu- I mean Lucas, are my friends too so I just, you know…thought I should support them.” You saw him nod in understanding, glancing up at you again, looking almost nervous.

“I was actually wondering if you would like to go watch a movie with me one of these days? It’ll be my treat, I kind of want to get to know you better....I mean, you don’t ​have​ to say yes but it’d be nice...if you did.”

Sicheng let out a small snort, making you kick his leg firmly, all the while still smiling at Kun.

I mean, it wasn’t as if you didn’t like the idea of a date with Kun, you just...would prefer if it was a date with Xuxi, to put things simply.

“Would you let me have some time to think about it? Can I let you know by like…next week?” you asked, seeing him nod at you, that same sweet smile appearing on his face.

“Of course, no problem, have a goodnight,” he smiled at you, Sicheng taking that as his queue to turn back around and exchanged a nod with Kun as a goodbye, practically bursting into laughter when Kun was out of sight.

“Poor Kun, doesn’t know he’s gonna be waiting the whole weekend for a rejection,” he snickered, making you roll your eyes, shoving him as you saw the double doors open again and Ten and Lucas walk out, laughing about something while looking for you and Sicheng in the area.

“Okay, shut up, no more talk about this or Ten will mock both Kun ​and​ me,” you shoved him, your glare softening and a small smile appearing on your face when you saw Xuxi.

He smiled widely, waving at you and Sicheng, the both of you making your way over to them and walking out of the school grounds together.

You walked in pairs, Ten and Sicheng walking in front on purpose so you and Xuxi would have to walk next to each other.

“You played really well, today,” you told him as a passing comment, seeing him let out a shy laugh, muttering a small ‘thank you’ to you.

“Have you eaten dinner yet?” he asked you, you shook your head in reply.

“Not yet, I was kind of just feeling like some ice cream.”

His smile brightened at that, nodding at you eagerly, “Me too!”

He bent down, half leaning towards you to whisper, “should we ​ditch​ them?” he used a finger to gesture to the pair walking in front of you, watching you give him a hesitant look.

He shot you a pleading look, his eyes closed and his palms together in front of him, rubbing them together in a begging action, making you smack him on the shoulder, covering your mouth in a poor attempt to stifle your laugh.

Ten and Sicheng already having anticipated your next sentence with all the giggling they were hearing behind them.

“Hey, uh guys, me and Y/N are gonna detour and get some ice cream. Catch you guys next week?”

Not without shooting each other a knowing look, Ten and Sicheng pretended to be upset before waving the both of you off quickly, wanting this to happen more than anybody.

You walked with Xuxi in the silence to the small convenience stand, Xuxi paying for the ice cream, and you ripped open the packet quickly, walking with him back in the direction of your neighbourhood.

“Thanks for paying for the ice cream,” you said, a little belatedly, making him huff in amusement, using his free hand to ruffle your hair in reply, the action making you blush unexpectedly.

Xuxi started to walk towards the direction of the small playground you were nearing, the both of you silently taking a seat on either of the two swings, Xuxi ditching his bag on the ground to sit comfortably.

“Are you okay?” you asked, chewing on the small bit of your ice cream you’d bitten off by accident, “you were gone for really long.”

Xuxi scoffed teasingly, “I was gone for like 5 days.”

“Well it was long for me, okay,” you huffed, “It was weird...going from seeing you every day to not seeing you suddenly.”

Xuxi bit his lip, licking the ice cream that had gotten on his lips as he turned his head to glance at you, his legs pushing the ground gently to swing himself lightly.

“My mom left,” he murmured. Abruptly raising his hand for his palm to face you, “And before you start feeling stressed ‘cause you don’t know what to say and all that, I’m alright if you don’t know what to say. I mean, neither did I, I spent 4 days not knowing what to even ​feel​ about it.”

You ate your ice cream quietly as he spoke, processing what Xuxi was trying to tell you. A small part of you understanding a little bit of how lonely he may have felt since you had found yourself in a somewhat similar situation when you were young.

“She told me she wasn’t coming back until my dad comes back with her, so...I took that as a ‘I’m not coming back at all’,” he used his fingers to make air quotes, shrugging afterward as he took a bite from his popsicle, “but I’ll live, I guess....I have to.”

“That’s really strong of you, Xuxi,” you murmured, seeing him turn to you, expression blank before he smiled softly.

“I have you by my side, so I’ll make it through this no matter what,” he grinned, turning his attention back to his ice cream.

“I’ll hold you to that,” you joked, suddenly thinking of Kun’s proposal just now after the basketball game, debating on whether to tell Xuxi but something inside you ( that strangely sounded like Sicheng ) was telling you to just do it.

“Kunaskedmeout,” you blurted, seeing him turn to you with a raised eyebrow, a small hum of confusion leaving his lips.

“Kun, he...asked if I wanted to go watch a movie with him when I was waiting for you and Ten to come out just now,” you told him, gauging his expression carefully as you told him, “I mean, at first I was kind of hesitant because I was kind of worried about how I would pay for the movie ticket but then he said he was paying and all so...I guess it’s not so bad?”

Tell me not to go. ​Your eyes pleaded, watching intently at the way he took his time to nibble on the last bits of his ice cream, holding up a hand as if telling you to wait as he stood up from the swing, taking your empty ice cream wrapper to dispose of them together, returning to you with a serious expression on his face. Stopping in front of where you were sitting, he leaned down so his head was level with yours, eyes narrowing at you, before straightening up.

“Don’t go.” he told you casually, sitting back down on the swing.

Your mouth gaped, unsure of what to make of his reaction. You looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, pursing your lips before speaking.

“You don’t think I should go?”

He looked at you with a blank expression, shrugging nonchalantly, “you shouldn’t go if you don’t want to,” he reminded you, his shoes scuffing on the ground as he rocked the swing back and forth.

“What makes you think I don’t want to?” you narrowed your eyes at him.

He shrugged, “maybe the way you told me about it? But of course, I could just be assuming, so go, have fun with Kun if that’ll make you happy,” he laughed, making you frown at him.

“But...” you started, though there was no other way to say this other than to admit you wanted Lucas to tell you not to go.

Lucas stopped swinging, looking at you expectantly, with a small glint of mischief in his eyes and a smirk playing at his lips.

“But? Is there a problem with what I just said?”

“Yes, a very big problem,” you told him, a small pout playing at your lips.

“Why is that?” He prodded you some more, to the point where you threw away your anxiousness, exasperatedly admitting to the tall boy,

“The problem is that I don’t wanna go ‘have fun’ with Kun because I like you!” you blurted.

He looked at you, pressing his lips together, before his eyes crinkled into crescents as he smiled.

As if nothing had happened, Lucas stood up, dusting off the imaginary dust from his track pants, slinging his bag on his shoulder, using his hand to shield the non-existent sun from his eyes as he looked up at the sky, “It’s getting late, let’s get you home.”

It was an understatement to say you were upset as Lucas walked you home. You felt so humiliated, that he would have the audacity to ignore the fact that you’d just confessed how you felt towards him, making you huff in annoyance when you realized you had reached your doorstep.

Not looking at him, you glared at his chest, being the only thing at your eye level, about to say goodbye when you felt him pull you into a hug. Not just any kind of lazy armed, lean-in goodbye hug, but an actual, warm, comforting hug, a hug of greeting instead of parting.

He let his head rest on top of yours gently, and you heard his laugh vibrate in his chest slightly, as his hand went up to pat the back of your head gently.  

“I’m glad,” he told you.

You frowned, pulling away to see him look down at you, his hair flopping over his eyes only slightly as he gave you what you had deemed as your favourite smile of his, where his eyes would shut tightly and his mouth form the cutest grin you had ever seen.

And for the third time, you’d felt transported into one of the romantic dramas, you could practically hear Sicheng saying matter-of-factly, ‘he’s totally gonna confess’, which you would always reply with a shush, wanting to savour the moment.

Opening his eyes, Lucas reached one of his hands reached down to hold your hand, “because I like you too.”

It was as if you had become hyper-aware of your surroundings, the way your heart was beating at a steady pace for once, and how gently Lucas was holding your hand, to the way the moonlight was so bright today, being the perfect backdrop for this moment you wanted to capture in your head and remember forever.

Letting go of your hand after a while, it was as if things were moving in slow motion when Lucas leaned over to plant a shy kiss on your cheek, pulling away and covering the lower half of his face with his hand, hiding his blush from you.

This time, you smiled at him first, “Goodnight, Xuxi.”

He had to look away to compose himself since he was smiling so widely, turning back to you and nodding at you, waving his hand as he’d started taking slow steps back, desperate to run home so he could giggle and be shy about this in the privacy of his room.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”