#but idk man its like. it couldve been so much but they went with that

[mustasekittens]

💫lucky girl🔮

alt versions!!

[beesforabrain]

ok whats yalls take on cecilia? obv something with interdimensions, but assumingly not replacing a double bcus she says 'its not quite the same/useful'. she has a kid, we dont know if its biological or adopted, just that a father is out of the picture. for some reason, she visited oxford, the same place of the statement and where jon and georgie went to college, and was reluctant to share it with sam whom shes relatively close to.

the actual institute doesnt exist nymore, but from what i ynderstand the 'outreach' centers or whatever arent the same, so they could very well still exist. this doesnt even get into the opening lines of the statement about a status as a catalyst, tho cecilia didn't seem interested in that aspect, purely the clone thing. the fears seemingly work a bit differently in tmp, at least for now, so the eyepocalypse ritual may not be the same (tho thats what 'catalyst' reminded me of, and 'agent' reminds me of avatar), but im willing to bet its the same overall concept of bringing them all in.

patient implies ppl seeking help, specifically for something supernatural in regards to the institute. yet theres obv something behind the scenes bcus the whole status thing denotes smnth, we just dont know what, or how ppl r evaluated. personally, i think that gerry will come back into play, similar to tma introducing key players early on and expanding later, especially in regards to what those statuses mean. we have another mention of a jmj error, specifically to alice after she witnessed a statement giver irl. i cant think of nyothers who have actlly gotten a jmj in the podcast that we have explicitly seen. colin is still NA tho cecilia is saying shes seen him around, so hes either sneaking in or shes lying for some reason.

we also dont have nything on the bonzo front, which is a bit worrying considering that gwen 'already knows' whose name was in the envelope. we thought maybe alice, but idk bcus shes been alone w/o defense like at the bar where bonzo couldve gotten her. so its either someone gwen knows that we havent met yet or another basement dweller. i dont think its cecilia given that we still dont know much about her and she seems very plot relevant. idk man

[celestie0]

you know why he feels entitled to eat the peach cobbler ingredients without asking??? YUP, the patriarchy made him believe he’s welcome to everything he wants. can’t fucking stand him…

STAND STRONG READER (i’d have folded the first day but luckily she’s stronger than i am). i love that he’s feeling bolder with his advances 😭 he’s both clueless and strangely in tune with readers emotions and i really love that. this gojo is such a green flag i wanna fight him so bad 😩 i wanna know what was going through his head when he just went for the kiss (probably “she’s so fucking hot” or something) at that moment

their banter is so addictive and i love that they keep each other on their toes without being straight up mean to each other. also love that gojo backed up y/n with everything that’s going on with Juno, he couldve just let everything play out but he backed Juno and y/n up every step of the way even against his own sister, i love that so much 😭

as someone that has also gone through caretaker’s fatigue… i really get what she’s going through. it’s hard to realize how you flourish when you’re away from it all. i hope she doesn’t let the guilt eat away at her because we know her mom wouldn’t want that for her.

this is all over the place so i’m really sorry! i can’t help but gush over this story bc it’s just that good 🙂‍↕️ but in all seriousness, i really hope you’ve been doing well. i will be here no matter what you decide for you and your stories, it’s genuinely the least i could do for the authors that share their work with us. i appreciate you letting us read your stories and i really do hope life is being kind to you. TYSM and i can’t wait to read whatever you have for us 🥰

hiii makimais darlingg pls i look forward to your ihm reviews so much :”)

LOLOL fr. i think its so funny how im so down bad for gojo but at the end of the day he’s still just a MAN smh 😂😭🙄 ihm reader will never be any man’s peace

both clueless but strangely in tune w her emotions is sooooooo ihm gojo like you pretty much summed him up right there LOL. i feel like he saves his self awareness energy for the moments where it really matter and then the rest of the time he’s just vibing no thoughts head empty LMFAO idk thats kinda the vibe canon gojo gives me so i wanted to emulate that in ihm gojo :)

yes! tbh i love it when men choose u over their family 😂😂 is that strange? like not in a super overbearing way but idk when guys start to kinda put u up there over their family in terms of priority thats kinda hot asf to me so it was fun writing a lil glimpse of that in the recent chapter

aww i hear you, and i’m sorry. i too have been a caretaker n one of my closest friends spent two years taking care of her dad before he passed away and i could see the physical n emotional toll it all took on her :( it really is such a complicated situation, but absolutely guilt is such a huge part of it, and it’s hard to shake that feeling

thanks darling!! you’re too sweet. you have a wonderful rest of your day <3

[zeeverseconfession]

hello. it's me. (no, this is not fantasy au stuff.. i wish it was 🙁)

its just about the serious topics in zeeverse from the top of my head.. some of my stuff here might be wrong

Death & Grief: Seen when Box had died — their death affecting Globe, sending her into a sense of grief. From what we saw (or what i remember), it was like she had lost a piece of herself, and found it difficult to do certain things

Alcoholism: Debit Card. Recently just introduced, but we can see that Debit Card is a heavy drinker, supposedly due to stress? To get away from any memories of her (purse). It's used as a coping mechanism.

Stalking & Obsession: As much as you may like Globe, she's a stalker. Yeah, hate to break it to you — she's got an unhealthy obsession with a married man, and has stalked him.. creepy.

Depression: I think multiple characters have this, but the one that comes to mind in specific is Box (also because it's on their wiki). Depression can lead to things like suicidal tendencies, and that's been seen once before in them (when Azriel had offered for them to sell their soul, they agreed in a heartbeat.)

Along with her backstory, which could be part of the reason why he's depressed. Box is probably one of the.. few? many? characters who have depression.

Anxiety & Panic Attacks: .. not sure, possibly Grenade? When stressed, they seem to feel like their losing control over the situation, along with a tremble (voice or body, can differ). These two examples can be linked as symptoms of a panic attack.

From what we see, they struggle to put their thoughts into words. Making it hard to express what exactly they're feelings at the moment.

Crime: Literally, almost everyone in New County has committed some sort of crime.. I think. Can't think of any from the top of my head, but the only person I can think of who went to jail was Mug.. (pot & globe, almost)

ill do the rest when i FEEL like it

what about dynamite for crime…. :(

i feel personally attacked by grenades, not because it happens to me all the time, but because it never happens to me ever. yeah contrary to popular bwlief i have never had a panic or anxiety attack i think. im just a really nervous guy lol. i tend to exaggerate grenades nervousness a lot, its something i did in the beginning before the roleplay got more serious, and then i realize i didnt exactly characterize grenade right at all. or atleast not to my liking. whatever. :(

i feel personally attacked by the last part tho again not because it doesnt happen to me at all but because it happens to me all the time. okay giys class dismissed /j also anxiety like ACTUAL anxiety rapier i think bcuz it was in his bio…though its kinda puzzling cuz rapiers shown to be very nervous at times and then also really nonchalant and calm at others???? man. idk.

stalking and obsession is obviously globe shes basically the mascot of it all. mollie too but tbh compared to globe you could call mollies just an interest, or something. augh globes just like me fr i hate it

ive said this before but i NEVER ever couldve seen DC as an alcoholic coming. out of every unhealthy coping mechanism ever…drinking? it just doesnt seem so debit card-y. infact DC striked me as the type to be against this kind of stuff. so it just baffles me a lot.

ill tag this later im @ the beach and used my phone too much for this

[crossover-enthusiast]

first things first, obviously, the cult.

×××

lets go to skiddad first.

-

ok. so, lilas husband. my guess is that throughout the years, he has been raised into cults. i imagine he became rather rebellious of this, and tried to abandon that life.

though, became too caught up, and eventually tried to get lila involved, POSSIBLY resulting in his death from fear from lila that he'd try to involve skid. my guess is skiddad is the right hand man of eyes.

theres not much i can grab there, BUT i think its worth noting the mannequin and the spiders, and how theyre probably related to skiddad. the mannequin is seen moving and/or trying to prevent people from escaping or hurting lila (sm6, sm5 where bob tries to catch her)

but, thats all i really got for him.

×××

now, bob velseb

-

judging by this picture, i like to think bob came from a more wealthy family. though, this can just be him in a business meeting, or some other formal event.

my personal idea, is that he was raised in a wealthy family, and eventually left home to go venture outwards and find some quiet peace in wherever-the-fuck-sm-takes-place. small town n stuff.

there, he worked at boys & grillz, selling to kids all around town, and specifically lila. now, to me, its not exactly clear how or why bob got into cannibalism. from what i see, its not exactly a metaphor for anything (besides like, idk, the fact his name is a pun on beezlebub, gluttony) and my only guess can just be the cult. or he was just.. hungry LMFAO

but, what i find the most interesting, is that bob couldve been a family figure (or family friend) to lila. which could explain the theory i have, that lila is the one who caught bob and put him in jail in the first place. theyre close, and lila accidentally digging too deep or stumbling upon bobs secretive cannibalistic tendencies can explain why he went out to kill her (sm1). once thrown back in prison, having help of the cult, he escaped again and tried to hurt lila AND her child, but once again, failed. (and ended up getting fucking killed in the process)

also, i like to think that bob was.. probably found at a low point with his cannibalism, and given a chance out to join the cult. idk. he probably escaped on his own in sm1 though

his role does not seem clear to me, but i like to think he was skiddad's right hand man, and once he died, bob took his place. i mean, in my eyes, he must atleast be in some high authority.

×××

mr clown

-

not even gonna lie, not too much on this guy lmfao 😭😭

though, it is known very well that he kidnaps and kills kids (unlike frank, who most likely.. just holds them for ransom tbh.) as suggested in pelos doodles (obv theyre not usually canon, but i feel like.. this one kinda is)

hes most likely of high authority/ranking in the cult, but is then killed off by jack. oops! (jesus, jack has a streak of killing cult members.)

×××

eyes

-

my favorite one to explore so far, eyes. i love eyes, specifically because of the fact we know NOTHING of their ability and their reasoning of why they inhabit this earth. to me, theyre a parasitic alien. sent, or either just out of hunger to drain the planet. i like to think that they desire to grab the human race, and put it under their control. whether it be hatred, for sadistic fun, or just for their own satisfaction. maybe controlling humans factor into their feeding. who knows.

anyway, thats where the cult comes in. tricking and playing with humans, eventually getting skiddad to lead all these people along.

my idea of eyes powers, really comes down to this. this is only what we have seen throughout sm2-sm6

-stunning, dazing.

as seen to pump, kevin, hatzgang, and gregor.

-changing humans eye color when an inhumane presence is spotted or near.

this isnt tooo important, but i think it should be added. though, unknown why bobs eyes changed. could just be his relation to the cult.

-spectating through the stars

eyes is seen throughout the episodes looking out through the sky, this could be that they are fond of skid and pump, and want to see what danger they could be in. or, theyre just curious of the two little guys' lives.

-manipulation, brainwashingggg, hypnotizing?

this is kind of a stretch, but in the end credits, and in the end of the episode itself, gregor bows to eyes and most likely put under their control. end credits wise, gregor is seen with moloch, being held up while the cult is around them. gregor could be used as a tool to summon demons and eldritch creatures alike to help take over the planet. or wreck havoc. or whatever.

but other than that, thats my idea of eyes. thumbs up.... i wonder if they can die? otherwise everyones screwed lmfao

×××

john and JD (johns daughter)

-

johns daughter is teased through pictures and drawings. it is either thought she died in the housefire in sm4, or was kidnapped, and is currently being held hostage. i like the held hostage situation better, because it adds greater stakes.

we dont know much about her, but she seems to be a bubbly young girl, and john is grief-stricken once he loses her. also, i feel its implied that he is divorced.

my idea, is that multiple cult members helped with the operation, and kidnapped JD while she was sleeping.

see, this is good (on the cults end) for multiple reasons.

while it doesnt remove john off their trail, it does deteriorate him with the loss of his child. though, if anything this makes him more determind to stop the cult.

BUT, they burned the evidence too, he is now rather powerless unless he gains all his evidence back, which would take a while.

idk. i imagine the cult try to bargain with john. and why i think of this, is because of the little poster thats likely to be a spoiler/hint for future episodes.

i mean, long hair, tealish smoke.. it could be JD being possessed? and john having to pick and choose between getting off the cults ass, or having his daughter back (and alive). shrug. thats just my theory.

××��

ignacio

-

heavily implied to be with the cult, and implied to be the one who burned down the house, its also likely he called the cult on gregor.

also, if anything, ignacio seems to be of somewhat.. high ranking or authority. or in the medium range, as he was assigned to burn johns house down. he is the one of only cult member(s) that we know of alive. others include candy dealer, the thieves, and possibly gregor.

not much about him tbh. old ass man.

×××

gregor

-

not much with him either, but its likely hes brainwashed to be apart of the cult and help along with their goals and stuff.

×××

skid (and a little bit of lila)

-

now, this is awesome because theres a very clear tie to skid and the cult. especially with skiddad and stuff.

we know from sm2, that skid is immune to eye's stun/dazing, so this can easily lead us to the fact that skiddad was connected to the cult a little before skid was born.

also! i wanna make it super clear with how lila tries to erase skiddad from everything. countless photos torn apart (specifcally of skiddads face), even ones in the attic.

lila seems to be awfully protective of skid, fearful of the cult in its entirety, but also mournful of what her husband had become. and having to possibly murder him in fear and protection of her and her son being involved.

×××

the thieves and candy dealer

-

now, holy shit, i was NOT expecting the thieves to be apart of the cult, but it does make sense. my idea is that they were sent to rob lila's house specifically so that they could retrieve anything of skiddad and cult related stuff.

their failed attempts seem to be irking candy dealer, and he gives them a good warning before going away. tbh. these guys are silly dumb dumbs. i love them.

ALSOO, that spider. right. do you think that was skiddad trying to scare them away....

candy dealer, i have no idea what the fuck is going on with him, (besides him. like. being a drug dealer obviously) but hes definitely of good importance. its nice to see him ^_^

×××

the cult necklaces

-

i feel its worth mentioning these, as they seem like a bind to those in the cult.

i think me and @deadbatzz talked about this, but we had this idea that if anyone was bound to the cult (whether by necklace or just joining), theyd be like. sent into purgatory, no release from life, just frozen in this half dead and half alive state. yeah. (though, dexters another story, as he was like. possessed and then murder in their own body. AND not to mention the happy fella dolls, but those arent part of the cult.)

×××

closing, and one final theory.

-

i saw this a while back on a comment, and for the life of me i dont think i can find it. i know it was probably on a video that pelo didnt make, but related to spooky month.

the theory is, is that the cult is powered, or just has some significance with candy.

eyes is seen eating candy in sm2, and bob is seen stopping multiple times in sm5 to eat candy. while this could just be him having a sweet tooth, i like the idea of it being much more. he even gives up literal victims for candy.

woofh. but yeah, thats... all i kinda have? sorry jf this didnt help for anything of trying to figure out whats going on with lore, but it was fun to spill my knowledge.

Oh my god dude this is fucking sick!!!! I love everything about this! I don't really have much except

Eyes/the cult having a thing with candy?? That... makes far more sense than it should, especially now that we know the CANDY Dealer is part of the cult. I like this a lot

Also the thing with Bob. The idea of him coming from a wealthy family is honestly really interesting, especially with how his house is in such a state of disrepair in Tender Treats

Him being a father figure to Lila is honestly the most gut punching, because like?? Imagine learning this man you looked up to for years is a serial killer! AND IS NOW TRYING TO KILL YOU!!!

Genuinely I want to know what the fuck happened with Gregor at the end, bc according to the ARG hub he went "missing". Apparently he wasn't even in the town for that long anyway, so like??

Just. A lot to think about.

ALSO I was thinking of them using John's daughter as a bargaining chip!! That makes too much sense! Though tbh I just don't want her to be dead-

[malwaredykes]

I'm so curious to know what your favorite dlc is! And if it's Old World Blues(mine too) then what's your second favorite?

AND which dlc would be Leigh's favorite experience?

i actually picked up honest hearts as the beginning of my Refreshing My Memories Of The DLCs campaign, as its been a hot minute since i last went through them.

But, yeah, old world blues is my favorite! its got its highs and lows, and for sure the quests arent The most fun, but i think its just overall really charming. sure, tonally its a bizarre addition, but thats what makes it work.

i REALLY dont like the dlcs overall though asjkhkjfhsdkj. ive complained before about what the addition of ulysses' plotline does to the games story, which is to say it cheapens it A LOT through unnecessary contrived backstory. ive also complained before about ulysses himself being suuuuch a deeply insufferable instance of Chris Avellone Character which is a shame because he couldve been awesome. i rly dig the whole "many couriers in the mojave are caesar's spies" and as far as ~legion-sympathetic companions~ go i think "ex-legion guy with a long complicated history with caesar, whos disillusioned with pretty much every existing faction, and whos just kinda weird and with experiences far removed from yours" would probably be the best way to do it. i also think jotchua graham cracker is kind of... i dont wanna say a complete disappointment because i Dont mind him being a mormon who went on to be caesar's legate and who then Found Jesus Again, i think thats kind of great and hilarious actually. obviously the way honest hearts frames it is aaaawful but the "mormon -> Outright Genocidal Fascist Leading An Imperial Campaign As In Literally Building An Empire -> born again christian who thinks hes saving everyone around him with his faith in his lord jesus christ may he save you as he saved josh" pipeline kind of rules like. yeah lmao. but aside from that as The Burned Man i just donnnnt like what hes got going on. like first of all thats not really how burn scars work. id get into more detail here wrt post-healing discomfort and scar compression but Anyway. hes just. not what i expected from a guy who got set on fire and then fell down a canyon lmao. he should be Wrecked. the explanation of how he survived is such a cop-out too and honestly the line about surviving because the fire within him etc fully deserves to be on etsy products because it absolutely is some This Is My Fight Song bullshit like its such a meme. idk. the lack of physically disabled characters in fallout has always bothered me a lot, and in this case, like, yeah the scars are disabling, he is disabled, but youd think the Falling Down A Canyon part wouldve permanently affected him too.

ANYWAY enough about that. my second favorite, if one can say that, is dead money. the characters are very likeable... the dlc itself is kind of hellish though. like its just Not Fun. but we get to meet veronica's ex gf AND dean domino and dog/god are awesome.

and as for which one leigh has the most fun in i have to say honest hearts purely because it takes part somewhere really nice. like shes loving the place She Really Needed This. whereas the other dlcs are kind of

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

I made a mistake last time, I said that I read chapters 22-30 when I only read 22-29, but now I have read chapter 30 and also chapters 31-34 so lets talk about those

Its so frustrating how Im more than halfway through this 700 page book thats ostensibly supposed to be about Feyre and Rhysand's complicated relationship developing and theres been no development because the things that should make their relationship complicated have just been completely handwaved. Like, if this book HAS to focus so much on Rhys to the detriment of Feyre, and he also just HAS to be morally good, atleast give him some kind of character arc of bettering himself, right now Im basically just looking at this stagnant statue of a guy through someone elses eyes which doesnt make for a rewarding reading experience

Ive also been noticing more and more weird retcons and idk what to call it, justifications for why Rhys is better even when hes doing the same shit as Tamlin I guess? The two big ones being, when Tamlin blew up that room after Feyre told him that he was suffocating her he did it out of anger, and, Feyre is fine with wearing dresses for the night court because she knows she can go back to wearing Illyrian leathers anytime, which is not how it was at the spring court.

First of all, I keep saying this, I am not a Tamlin girlie, I dont like him that much and hes doing a bad job dealing with Feyre, but you dont need to make shit up to make Feyre's choice to leave feel justified. Like, he was not punching the walls in anger, he felt so bad and guilty about hurting Feyre when all he wants is to keep her safe that his magic went haywire over it. And thats bad enough! I mean Feyre, who has a lot of trouble communicating her feelings, finally managed to tell him everything thats wrong and makes her feel bad and makes healing from her trauma difficult, and he reacts by basically having a panic attack which makes his magic react in a dangerous way. Idk about you, but I would not feel comfortable or even safe expressing my feelings to him, even if he didnt react like that out of anger

Like, Feylin could have just not worked out, it couldve just been disfunctional without being portrayed as abuse but it cant be, I guess because it needs to be abuse in order to justify Feyre leaving him. And thats so strange to me because the idea that women need any kind of ("serious") justification for leaving a relationship is completely anti-thetical to the themes of feminism and choice that this book is trying to go for. Like, why cant a woman just break up with a guy because she stopped feeling it, theres no reason not to break up with a guy who makes you feel bad even if hes not being outright abusive. Although, in this particular story there actually is a reason, which is that if Feyre left Tamlin without a "good" justification then Amarantha would win, she would be proven right about the fickle nature of humans and the pointlessness of their un-eternal love from beyond the grave and that would be a bummer because the first book is about how Love Conquers All, as is the case with pretty much all great romances. So Tamlin's unambigiously abusive now so that that beautiful idea of Love Conquering All doesnt end up being dragged through the dirt. ACOMAF essentially posits that the Love that was supposed to Conquer All isn't real because neither Feyre nor Tamlin were willing or able to truly love each other through their trauma, ergo it didnt actually Conquer All. Thats also why Rhysand isnt meaningfully affected by what should be traumatic events; because while Feyre can love someone through her own trauma, she cant seem love someone whos traumatized themself

I feel like the way I phrased that was pretty harsh, but I do think its kinda true, in a way. Idk man, the thing that makes talking about Feyre's new UTM trauma so difficult is that everyone, including the narrative itself, is expecting her to have worked through it within less than half a year when its like, shes immortal and also living in a world with no therapists, she can take a bit longer than that. I mean hell, everyone in the inner circle is like 500 years and all of their major traumata happened when they were very young and most of them have still not learned how to actually cope with them aside from killing/avoiding the people who caused it (atleast from what Ive seen, especially of Cassian), Feyre might honestly be doing better than all of them but she keeps dogging on herself which, remember, her perspective is objectively correct as of this book, so that sucks

Alright, three paragraphs to talk about that first point, lets move on to talking about the dress thing. I have already observed that it seems like Feyre might stop wearing pants entirely at some point despite how much this particular book keeps going on and on about Tamlin forcing her to wear dresses in conjunction with going on about Tamlin forcing her into a subserviant mother-role, implying that dresses are inherently depowering, and well. I hate that for Feyre but I do love being proved right

And like, okay, I think Feyre hating dresses is another ACOMAF retcon, but its a retcon in a weirdly circular way. Let me explain; in ACOTAR I didnt get the impression that she hated dresses, I thought she just preferred pants because its what she was used to and because for a pretty large chunk of the book she was thinking about fleeing or was in situations where she needed to run away from something and pants were just more practical for that. But when she trusted the fae a bit more and a special occasion came up or she wanted to make Tamlin feel flustered (? that one doesnt make that much sense to me tbh), she did ask for dresses to wear and only felt a little embarrassed about it because she didnt usually wear them. I didnt even get the impression that she hated the impractical rich noblewoman dress they put her in when she was sent back to the human world, just that she found it really silly and unfitting for her. And I do think her being willing to wear dresses was supposed to be a signifier of her healing journey and her learning how to be gentle and let herself be loved in that book

Then ACOMAF comes around and she suddenly hates wearing dresses, which also ties into her suddenly becoming some kind of adrenaline junkie when she previously wanted to live a peaceful and comfortable life. Now, granted, the difference is that in ACOTAR she wore dresses that she explicitly asked to wear, whereas in ACOMAF Tamlin just assumes that she will always wear dresses by virtue of her being a woman without asking Feyre about it at any point (I know Ianthe was actually more involved in the dress-stuff, but the narrative is making Tamlin responsible for it so Im just gonna go along with it for simplicity's sake). Thats reasonable enough

But then a little further into ACOMAF we have Rhysand doing the exact same thing, hes assuming that she will wear dresses for the sake of keeping up appearances and helping him with his politics (and also, he's assuming that she will let herself be sexualized via the apple-breast comment in front of Tarquin (and later the CoN-UTM reeanactment scene)) and hes right, because of course he is. But the reason its fine when Rhysand does it, I guess, is because he keeps reassuring her that she has a choice in these matters when she really doesnt. Like, did he pack some illyrian leathers just in case Feyre didnt want to wear the dresses he got her? If he did, theres been no mention of it. Theres also been no mention of him asking her if she preferred to wear pants or a dress for the Summer Court mission, even though it seems to me that harem pants are considered to be unisex in the Night Court while they seem to be considered distinctly masculine in places like the Spring Court

And then we get to the thing about this dress-stuff that makes me call it a 'weirdly circular retcon'; while Nuala is dressing Feyre up for her date with Tarquin, for lack of a better term, she looks at herself in the mirror and thinks about how maybe, after everything shes been through that forced her to become hard, shes starting to heal and can finally let herself be feminine and soft and pretty. If you'll recall from a few paragraphs ago, that already happened to Feyre in ACOTAR except it was more subtle, I dont remember her just straight-up thinking about it like she does in this scene in ACOMAF. So its the same thing, but instead of her wearing dresses that she excplicitly asked to wear, shes wearing dresses that her new bf picked out for her and all but made her wear

And honestly, thats a really good way of summarizing the differences between Feylin and Feysand and the way Feyre gets treated in these book, which is why I wrote so fucking much about this pretty insignificant detail

Surprisingly enough, Im not done with this monster of a post yet, because I have some stuff to say about the Summer Court

The way Cresseida was introduced and treated made me have what Im just gonna call an angry epiphany. Like, before she came along I just thought the feminism of this series was very shallow and very white, but after her introduction I was just angrily thinking to myself "How the FUCK is this series considered feminist in any way?! The three types of women that exist in this story are literally Protagonist's Sisters (characterized as Haughty Bitch and Infantilized Clueless Cinnamon Roll Who Can Do No Wrong respectively), Protagonist's Slaves Servants Who Are Inexplicably Always Darkskinned Women and Promiscuous Bitches"

Varian seemed fine, but I dont like that he seems to have something going on with Amren. I know I said I didnt particularly like her, but I did still kinda latch onto her as my aroace rep so I find that very disappointing. But I guess thats on me for having expectations like that of the most amatonormative book series Ive ever read

So, from observing this part of the fandom prior to reading the books, it seemed that if sjm critical people dont like Feylin, theyll usually like Feyquin as an alternative to the horrible but canon Feysand. Despite that, I didnt have the highest expectations because honestly, it not much harder for a character to be a better love interest than ACOTAR!Tamlin and Rhysand. Like, the thing about Tamlin is that he was a really boring guy but hes a very good love interest, and the thing about Rhysand is that hes also really boring and hes a very bad love interest, so I thought "okay, I know Tarquin is the youngest and he has that whole thing about actively wanting equality for faeries but no one taking him seriously because everyone thinks hes inexperienced, OBVIOUSLY hes more interesting than the guys who can access their power with no issue, and then he'll just be kinda flirty towards Feyre, as SJM MaLeS usually are and that makes him a decent enough potential love interest I guess" and thats all true but idk, actually reading about him made me like him sooooo much. Like, him and Feyre telling each other theyre easy to love? Mwah, gorgeous. I bet Rhys is really glad he has that mating bond because without it his sorry ass would NOT be able to compete with Tarquin

So now my list of m/f Feyre ships goes Feyquin > Feycien > Feylin and Feyre/Azriel are on about the same level to me I think > Feysand (not including feyssian bc I think its a crime to ship cassian with a woman sry)

I specify m/f Feyre ships because if I included all of the Feyre ships, Feyanthe would be at the very top followed by Feyre/Amren. Idk, I know its obscure, but when she was describing how Amren was wearing a crop top she said something like "a sliver of skin was left exposed, as tempting as a calm lake" and I was like oh? 👀 Those guys have potentialllllllll I mean who needs Mates when youre both Made amiright fellas. Also, Feyre/Mor would go above Feysand

Anyway, thats it from me again, I hope you enjoyed this

[fapper]

I almost went to french jail yesterday… STORYTIME 😭😭😭

Yall so i havent been posting much lately but its bc i was busy and exploring before i leave to america right. So boom so yesterday i decided to go to ITALY ON THE TRAIN…. Its only like a 50 min train ride ok. So boom i buy a 10euro ticket to go there, but i didnt buy a return ticket bc i was so confident they wouldnt gaf (so far i kept buying return tickets and they never checked so i wasted money fr). Ight so boom

I go sit on the train On my way! Back to france. And after 1 stop…. 6 POLICE OFFICERS COME INTO THE TRAIN….. AND I WAS LIKE DAMN WHATS HAPPENING? So i ask these ladies next to me what the police was asking us and she said “he is asking for your passport and train ticket” IGHT SO BOOM I START LOWKEY PANICKING RIGHT BECAUSE I HAD NO PASSPORT AND NO TRAIN TICKET LMFAOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 DOUBLE HOMICIDE

so i was like oh my god wtf am i gonna do and so i start digging thru my notes app and showed the police officer a scanned picture of my passport (thank me for having that fr) and the police officer goes okay thanks 👍 so i was getting prepared for him to ask me for my ticket but instead all the police start interrogating this guy who was sitting next to us and asked if he had a ticket. The guy said no, so they escorted him out the train IMMEDIATELY. And so boom im looking outside the window and i see 6 police officers surrounding that man as he was scrambling through his backpack for smt idk. And the train leaves. And i was soooo relieved THANK YOU FOR THAT MAN FOR BEING THERE LMFAOOOO LIKE I COULDVE GOTTEN FINED idk abt jail though im just hyperbolizing but damn i just found it really funny how i literally crossed the border without any identification nor ticket on me lmaoooo. Like im so stupid help

W backstory W lore

[narwhalandchill]

yknow as much as the (deserved) inazuma backlash has clearly changed hoyos writing for the better i do think there v much is one completely wrong lesson theyve taken from it and thats incorporating story quests into the AQ sequence (and specifically how theyve never attempted it again)

the concept itself was Never inherently bad. in fact it unironically has a ton of potential bc you could lessen the need for sudden character specific exposition in the AQ AND pull off way more high-stakes and timeline-specific plotlines in the SQs by ensuring players will experience it at the intended place and time.

the issue was that they introduced a bleak depressing inazuma in the middle of a fucking civil war and then went omg AQ on pause!!! lets go to a festival with ayaka and u will be her first friend ever OwO yoimiyas is at least vastly better written and actually involves the VH and sakoku decrees so its always been a favorite of mine but even then im sure theres things worth criticism in there its just been 2 years so i cant analyze it off the top of my head. but the greatest offender has always been the way ayakas comes with such a complete tonal dissonance it just takes you out of the atmosphere they spent the entire act I building up.

and it rly makes me sad bc i Know hoyo took the backlash about interrupted pacing and disjointed tone as "ok story quests bad as AQ requirements" when its like. no the one you wrote just sucked

AQ incorporated story quests need to have a damn good reason to be mandatory at that specific point and while its far from perfect i DO think yoimiyas fulfills that! but ayakas doesnt! at all! and like im realizing the issue is also in how genshins made it a standard that a character must receive a story quest Instantly on release. so i guess ayakas had to be in between acts I and II for plot reasons but like. that being the case then the story quest itself shouldve focused on a completely different theme as opposed to her very predictable tropey personal problems that werent even explored properly imo. like im sure plenty of depth and nuance in her characterization was lost in translation but i almost cry laughed the first time the restaurant vendor went "oh ayaka is lonely because she is so perfect that no one sees her as a friend but instead an aspiration" like what in the 3rd grader writing mary sue self insert fic tarnation 💀 you couldve worded that exact same concept in 12 different ways to make it actually sound poignant and you did That SHAHSKSJSKDLJH

(and a quick addition before i get accused of being a blind hater hater lmao. here goes: "the burdens of miss ayakas position as the public face of the kamisato make it difficult for her to shed the mask of practiced perfection. i think people struggle to see her as a person whod enjoy simple things in life like friendship just like everyone else when theyre so used to viewing her as an unreachable figurehead." there. now its way more clearly nuanced. this took me 3 minutes and is far from any fluid writing yet. the difference is staggering)

but like. as a result this ambiguous timeline limbo most story quests end up falling into is genuinely a shame bc i do think theres potential in attempting the ayaka n yoi thing again but with characters for whom it makes sense and actually enhances the AQ experience by necessitating it. and yeah yeah ik genshin wants to be casual friendly so they dont want to force ppl to do quests they dont like for AQ so its unrealistic to expect them to ever try it out again but man

as long as they pick the right place and time and characters for it they could massively alleviate the issue of some story quests contents ending up feeling like somewhat empty fluff bc they cant assume what point a player will be in the main plot could be so they lack actually impactful lore and or character beats.

obviously im not a writer at hoyo and idk how much backlash the ayaya/yoi situation got them but like. idk. taking the lesson "never do anything like inazuma again" isnt rly what id consider the full picture. inazuma does suck and has clunky moments throughout but like in 2.0 people were still hype! inazuma had good ideas and concepts and attempted sth that couldve been great the issue isnt inazuma bad on all levels its that they never delivered its potential and 2.1 was an incredible letdown.

[elegyofthemoon]

logging o7

a friend and i made plans to play genshin on friday so thatll be fun!! she wanted some help with grinding so i was happy to pick up the game again to help alskfjh originally we were gonna play today which made me panic because "oh god i havent touched this game in a hot minute can it still run???" turns out it can

but while doing that, i realized where i left off was me playing through thoma's hangout for the 1000000th time FOR HIS BIRTHDAY LMAO so i really really havent touched it since and Man. i forgot how much i like thoma.... so that made me happy ALSO HIS VOICE ACTOR... its so weird because just the other day i couldve sworn thats his voice actor who plays jeremiah in lads... so its a funny coincidence that i went back to listening to thoma. his voice acting is just got a certain style to it thats very unique to him. and the way he was so excited to play thoma originally? it makes listening to the voice acting all the sweeter - but enough about me rambling about voice acting again LAKSDJFAH

OH YEAH and making progress a bit in um. the story where i left off. I was doing miko's character story and I think I only have one little bit left and then I think my original plan was to do Kazuha's?? idk aslkdjfha it just makes me happy that i made some progress there asdkljfaslkh it was a Struggle to cont. (internally fighting self basically)

I FINALLY!!!!! AM MAKING PROGRESS!!!! ON THIS STUPID WIP!!!!!! IVE BEEN WORKING ON !!!!! FOR APPARENTLY THE WHOLE !!!!! MONTH!!!!!!!!! I've been dancing around it for a while because I just hated how it was coming out BUT pushing myself to work on it, I'm finally getting things clicking and >:)

Getting news that the one thing that would make me go to work tomorrow got cancelled? 🥳woo! freedom!

I completed going through a Child's Dream in HSR, which was fun!! But now the other areas are kinda. Huge. So it'll be a bit overwhelming to do those BUT it was cool to see the little bits and pieces of memory in there ; v ; it just makes me more sad though for Misha :( ALSO I DIDNT REALIZE YOU CAN PICK UP THE PHOTO OF TRAILBLAZER AND FIREFLY IN THE DREAMSCAPE REVERIE that made me so sad cuz I was just passing through there to find something but :( oh my god (ik this is a happy log i am happy i decided to drop by there again but also what the hell 😭

I'm probably going to use the rest of the night to try and finish up this wip hopefully Might stay up a bit more to go explore/read some stuff in star rail but we shall see :)

[almalvo]

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY | S1E7 "Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad"

[I will react to each episode individually and in full, raw reception and then post as is unrevised here onto my tumblr for the full span of every and all NuTrek episodes and series that have been and will be released. If this falls under your field of interest - I welcome your company in joining me. Enjoy the ride.] -------

man the intro just continues to remind me fucking ingenius the Star Trek introduction was period. Love it. forever. and always. wonder when we will see these scenes play out when we will see that big plant tentacle monster from the intro or when we will see the two hands touch etc

things are flowing so fast rn in burnham's evaluative speech at the start of this episode. even though not much has happened. and no offence but, i do not think shes earned this kind of audience? because theres like. still hardly much to like nor connect with these characters? imo. idk. idk if its just me, maybe it is. but i definitely dont really have much investment in any characters yet. actually, the one character i resonated MOST with was mega-sized space waterbear, no cap. (oh mossie i miss you i hope we can see you again) trek party lol. ok ill say this one thing DISCO has a lot of filming inconsistencies between shots. like, lets say burnham's hands will be up holding her face. but then next shot, her hands are down at her seat. then switch back and her hands are back up. that sort of thing. happens a lot all the time. stamets. happy drunk. lovey dovey. cute. ash and burnham? idk. every time lorca says saru, i just catch myself thinkning "sulu" cute mega-organisms gormagander wow. space whale sounds. amazing. is it prego. … who ANDORIAN?/ IS THAT AN ANDORIAN OML ITS HELMET SO CUTE oh nevermind its scarier. MUDD. but yes that is an andorian helmet wow so cute give me one. stella.

MUDD is so vengeful. what interesting implications for TOS. DUDE WTF the end of DISCO. man a time plot huh ok lets see how this goes a remix of stayin' alive runners said left. let me guess. burnham will later predict them coming from behind her. and then be like "huh. why did i already know this" there is something off about the delivery of these lines from so many of the actors lorca's actor feels pretty grounded same as saru which is good. something feels so weird with the line delivery. idk if it sthe actors or if its the way the filming is that just makes it feel less effective acting?? idk i think its cuz theres a lot of organic quality missing in a lot of the actors getting a decent amount of screentime? i dont want to sound rude ofc i just feel something is off yeah. man. a time jumping Mudd. now THAT'S terrifying. Poor stewart. he didnt deserve to get thrown. "went his own way"? u sure you didnt kill him. Mudd's actor is also pretty grounded. the lines roll off well and not awkwardly. Nice Stamets. this is too fast. Muidd gets shot in the back and then Stamets has a comedic line delivery that seriously needed a pause or soemthing, but we switch imediately to ending the scene and returning after what felt like a commercial break or seomthing.

yeah the pacing of the show is just RUSHING so much like WHY. it just eats up so much of any weight this show couldve had in even its smallest things. i know i sound so critical but its built up a lot and its already the 7th episode into the 1st season. Stamets actor feels pretty good too but i think its just awkward screenplay and awkward lines and weirdo af pacing/film style that ruin things. they need to let this show BREATHE more. it s such a shame they didnt. maybe not the best director. also too many zooms. the show feels so experimental, but i dont know if necessarily in a good way. i sound so pickky but bro im saying what im seeing,. ok sorry this just now, stamets talking to burnham when he says hes the one "missing from mudd's timeloop" is actually pretty bad. bad editing super inconsistent between shots and why are there like a billion camera cuts? we dont need THIS many angles to talk about one single conversational exchange no offence. this scene was pretty bad. weird screenplay, weird delivery, bad editing stamets even sounded like there was a shot with his mic off i could hear the environmental reverb why is this happening. with such a beautiful visual and constume budget such as this. also yes. that is A GORN IN LORCA'S OFFICE. oh my god that means maybe the gorn from SNW DO look humanoid fully matured. ugh cant wait to see what that means. mudd is so merciless. man lorca died like a bug so many times. wtf. why is stamets out of focus- WHAT. WHAT IS THAT. THE FUCK WAS THAT im sorry no this wasnt funny cuz it was supposed to be funny in that way im sorry but just now

when stamets tells burnham that "shes never been in love" at the party in the time loop, she says in the WEIRDEST most… sry ngl, badly acted type way, replying "why would you say that to me" that i had to actually PAUSE the episode and rewatch that again to confirm what i saw. just finished the rewatch of this one scene. wtf was that. sorry that was so poor. its soooo awkwarddddd. and flatttt. what is this ADR though. stamet's ADR in this episode is some of the worse. also sorry that lens reflection of that one green party light that hit right onto burnham's face during this exchange, its almost as if i HEARD the cameraman's thoughts going "ah shit this stupid light" as the camera moved downward to get as much of that green spot out of the direct line of her face. okay, Mr. God-Named-Stamets. is that an apron that isnt a one sided dress. dance in the hallway. ok. this wa so fast. this tone feels very not in sync with the course of this plot? where did this dance thing come from. i think im feeling such a dissonance rn when stamets is on screen because he feels like hes NOT stamets. idk its like, i get that charcters/people are hopefully more than 1-dimensional, and that we get to learn about them more as time passes, but like this kind of feels like stamets just wasnt properly developed and we the audience just didnt get enough proper exposure to him to recognise who really is his person? if that makes ANY sense to anyone. ok no offence, this episode probably is the most trash in terms of script. harry mudd, time loop, saving the ship from destruction, but then also stamets is an omniscient constant, while also flat cardboard af awkward love revelations between ash and burnham?? idk. maybe in a different writers' room, this coiuld be made compellingly and cohesively. but right now. this episode is NOT. IT. im sorry so why does it feel like its deterioriating a bit. the show had me in the beginning cuz how freaking DIFFERENT and UPGRADED it looked (gorgeous btw) compared to ALL the series that came before it in Prime-Timeline. but no matter how i fought it, my emersions been finally broken by the consistently questionable factors that keep loudly making themselves known in this show. too frequently bad deliveries from actors weird af editing bad cinematography even my great efforts to ignore it all and benefit of the doubt, it was too much. which is, based on everything ive ever watched ever, a BAD thing. also, oml lorca is so small in this episode - which actually i like. he feels so insignificant in this episode haha, small fry dying every single time. also i hope i see more creative deaths in this show, cuz everytime someone dies is them dissipating in dusty colour. come onnn, we can do better than thattt.

also just fyi, understand that i am NOT advocating for a super "serious/dire" star trek, weve had a bit of that in random episodes thoruhgout the franchise and moveis too - so no, i also absolutely love silly mad crazy trek plots too, but like. DISCO i think is probably handling this in a way that is the worst ever in Star Trek so far, even among its whacky insane moments. I am keeping to the series and going to stick it through all the way to the end of course. but yeah, i was never here to just be some blind non-insightful talking head that just admired this show unconditionally. if you thought so, then you should try again. i will say whats good, but likewise whats bad. and right now, the good things are things that i have already said, but the bad is really kicking up a storm right now. captain mudd. amazing. its so off-balance, this show. some deliveries are great, pacing is great. but then its like so sporadic and everywhere too often etc yes. delivery is REALLY weird and super weak in too many scenes. idk. maybe construction of the show itself is just weak in too many areas. so so strange. with a show that LOOKS genuinely this good. im just so perplexed. the shows construction feels so amateurish i guess? in not a very good way. "nobody beats Mudd, huh." a businessman is correct, lorca. these camera zoomes are really distasteful. like lorca over here making some consistently really solid deliveries, and the stupid camera cuts and zooms and unnecessary movements just cheapen it all. it makes me so angry. this show needed a better writers' room and better directing. and terrible ADR. its liek they use different mics every 2 lines. i can HEAR the discrepancies, even without my audiophile headphones.

im so mad and sad by this. because the threads of the issues i was sensing since episode 1 are now kind of unforgiveable. i can no longer look over them. so im here really speaking about them in this reaction this time. no offence it kind of feels like nothing much happened this whole episode. and im literally 3 minutes away from finishing this episode. im sorry im not impressed with this ending in how mudd was caught. i feel like this show didnt know how to quite handle the crazy nature of Trek. Bad editing yeah. i keep consistently seeing how for example Mudd is talking, and the camera cuts to a different angle shot of the same line delivery that has to get repeated and edited in, but i can physically see Mudd's jaw still moving in speech despite his dialogue halting from the ADR of the other camera shot. THIS ^ stuff KEEPS happening. and it shouldnt. its super BASIC stuff relatively speaking. and there wasnt this much of an obvious degree of this problematic editing in even older series of trek. so strange. 'i hate how it lifted me out of immersion of this show, this list of issues. you know, id LOVE to see ANY scene of conversation withOUT the stupid slow-creep zoom. listen, i KNOW that this is very often used everywhere in media, but it doesnt mean "always'. in this case DISCO does it poorly. ok episode over. i am not convinced over ANYTHING that just happened. its a 44 minute long episode, but it felt brief as fuck. it didnt feel like it had much substance at all - and im NOT talking some kind of "moral message" shit - things do NOT have to have a real message to be good. and this episode was actually not. it felt so criminally underwhelming. like ok, stamets had augmentation that let him resist the time loop.... and? so what. so what about that. nothing significant happened except apparently blossoming love story between Ash and Burnham, which- Ash x Burnham?

bullshit.

bro that was terrible. and they got zero chemistry no sorry no. get outta here.

burnham had more chemistry with the fucking captain than ash. (i dont support either one dw.) ok. well. ima continue the trip ofc. but mmmmm stupid peripheral things are really not doing this show justice. i fear that DISCO is a show that couldve been great but just wasnt even good. bad writing, bad directing, bad editing, bad delivery - i am far from being sold than I was in episode 1. i gave the excuse of the first episode feeling so brisk because it was an exposition….. but the show quickly tired out my benefit-of-the-doubt with how i see that ep 1 wasnt so much a mere exposition, but that its kind of ACTUALLY what this show IS. i cant lie. im p nervous for this show. SNW was fucking good, so i just hope that this show improves to SNW's level where all these questionable issues resolve at some point, more or less.

guess i'll see.

[himbopunk]

might just write out a bit of a makeshift timeline for my lof rook, hakim

general cw probably. its dragon age some shit is rough & he was born in tevinter so

born in tevinter, likely not in one of the cities.

was able to stay with his father. both of his parents were slaves but he never knew his mom. not sure Why he was able to stay with his father but i get the sense it was like a bit of a tense and conditional thing. i think his father was a cook primarily and travelled around with the magister who owned him. said magister like. still a slaveowner and sucks and should die obviously but, at least to hakim and his dad, not the worst he couldve been...? hakim has vague memories of his father speaking kindly of them (idk gender) when he was little. hakim as a kid would help his dad with the food and such, but as he got older started sneaking around and getting into trouble (baby hakim maybe saw a bit more of the magisters worse side than his father liked to admit..?)

eventually when hakim was around 12ish the magister decided that he was more trouble than he was worth so he either sold them or like, transferred them to become a galley slave? either sold them to whoever had the boat or its just like another branch of shit they owned. maybe even framed themself as bein kind in putting hakim in the position to learn discipline so their father wont suffer the consequences of their foolishness* (*normal tween nonsense)

should add that hakim is a trans man and doesnt come out/transition til his early-mid 20s so the entire time he was enslaved, he was living it as an elven woman/girl. so i think. he understands it couldve been much worse (and i think it Was bad in certain ways like that at times esp once he was a galley slave but i dont super want to get into it)

galley slave is his life until hes about 19.

i think he mostly like on the same ship or smth for a lot of it. ive not gotten too much into his experience there. i dont think theyd get to be on deck very often so i think his sense of time w the whole thing is kinda messed up.

when he was 19, a raiders ship attacked the ship he worked on for the standard pirate stuff. whoevers ship it was they put an open offer to the slaves on board to 1. kill their masters and 2. join/leave w them if they want (otherwise wait to be found w the others). obvious what option hakim picked

the raiders brought them to llomerryn. did some dock work trying yo get their bearings for a bit. ended up joining the raiders proper after that, on isabelas ship (no reason other than she just happend to be in port at the time and someone vouched for him/she saw something in him)

first new city he went to as a raider was dairsmuid, where he got his first rivaini tattoo

around 23-25 is when he came to terms with being trans and started seeking out transition (23 is when he first comes out i think, wearing more gender affirming stuff, by 24 the crew is all on the same page about it, 25 is when he starts to search out medical/magical options)

At 26ish he realizes he cares more about the adventure than the raiding aspect of the pirate stuff so he separates to do his own thing for a bit, treasure hunting n doing mercenary/adventurer stuff on the mainland. especially because hes kind of past 'being on a ship brings me comfort' but hes not rly alone there & when hes 28ish he rejoins as a lord of fortune probably? the people who brought him in wouldve been the same people like isabela he knew from the raiders though so i think he kinda just sees it as a new form of that at first, closer to what he actually wants to do

(i'm not entirely sure when the lords first form but i think theres some overlap past that point when he actually joins)

i think during the more general merc days is the first job he ever does with varric. he couldve run into him prior bc of him being on isabelas ship but this is their first like interpersonal interaction/first time being hired /by/ varric. this is the job that goes wrong and hakim almost dies when he gets his throat slashed! thats where his neck scar comes from. he didnt have an active ongoing relationship with varric but from that point i think hed do jobs for him from time to time both as an independent mercenary and once he joins the lords.

i think its kinda funny actually cuz in the year or so before veilguard when isabela hands you off to varric, i dont think she realized that theyd worked together before, one of those oh varric knows Everyone moments

Also i gotta figure out a nickname he wouldve had on the ship in the raider days, but isabela wouldve hopped on the rook nickname half as a jab at him for the whole incident (varric says cuz he tends to think in straight lines and isabelas like. HE SURE DOES. PAIN IN MY ARSE)

if i go with the idea that he ran into illario in the past that wouldve happened when he was like 25ish??

[done-drinking]

Have i fucking ever given you a reason to think im a scumbag, think real fucking hard. After everything we went through, all the support, all the "love" and appreciation for eachother. I have been nothing but there for you. I have done nothing but try to be understanding towards you and patient. Sometimes we didnt communicate and it made things difficult, but was i a scumbag? Did i ever do anything to you or anyone to make you think i didnt try my best to be there or helpful or a good fucking person. I dont like drama, i dont hate anyone, i dont want to see anyone upset or angry, especially you. You deserve the fucking world, everyone does. So what the fuck happened man, what makes you think i was actually talking shit about you. Whos twisting my words or your mind and why was it so easy for you to disregard all ive been towards you over the past year. Best manager ive ever had and one of my best friends, you got me my job and ive been slowly recovering and pleased to be there. Now what, you think im so much of an asshole you guys banned me from the stores and were ready to press charges over something i said? What did i say, fucking call me and tell me. Cuz i dont fucking know. If you think i drunk talked to people i havent. I havent been drunk at work since you told me to never do it again, and that was when i was working for you. Drunk now? Drunk texting people at my job now? No, and no. Im about to go to work and be anxious about how everyone there probably thinks im a scumbag now, whole town probably lowkey thinks it because thats the kind of place it is. All regulars, lots of drama. If i wanted to make your life hell i couldve told everyone we fucking slept together, an obvious lie and we both know it but everyone else would question and talk about it. That would be a scumbag move. Would i? No, never, even now being as pissed off as i am. I respected your requests. The "dont text back, delete those posts, etc". I lied to him about kissing you, all of it to help try and keep your mental state okay while mine fucking broke. Ive only ever spoken highly of you at my job. Ive lied so much to the people asking why i quit working for you to save your image because i still fucking care about you. "I left because i didnt enjoy some of the people i worked with and it was just a stressful environment to work in, or just needed to feel like i was moving up in the world or needed a change of pace". You dont think im important anymore or am not a good person? Who are you. What the fuck happened to you man. We were good friends and you were so quick to toss me aside fucking multiple time. Getting past the "relationship" was a good reason to toss me aside. It def helped us both give up on that, but tossing aside our friendship like we didnt have one. Tossing me aside now, thinking ive just became an asshole in the past few weeks and am trying to shit on your life? Are you just saying all this to try and get past me or what idk man, if you are and care about me at all anymore then please fucking stop because youre hurting me even more. Like what the fuck man. Im so pissed off at you right now, and i should hate you but i just fucking cant and thats pissing me off even more. Forgive all my swearing to any christians reading this if anyone reads this at all, but i try to be a man of God and you know that too. So i forgive you for thinking im some cunt now. I forgive you for the emotional rollercoaster waiting for you to change was. You said you ruined my life, you didnt. You damaged me and broke me but i forgive you, im repairable. I still have my whole life ahead of me. I wasnt it, i wasnt enough, i wasnt the one, i wasnt important, everything you said i was, wasnt, even though you said you meant everything you say to me. Its all very clear to me now thank you. I forgive you. Youve really pissed me tf off though. Youve always wondered/wanted to see me get pissed off, well here it is, congrats you did it.

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

Funny how times felt like its disappeared the past few weeks to the point idfk what day it is unless its a friday. Or a tuesday. But i never know til i wake up. But like today 2 me couldve been a monday or a sunday or a thursday or a wednesday or actually a tuesday as well bc i didnt have my window open. And i also love like.god ok. Being unable to communicate my thoughts into words that ppl understand bc like. Idk. I like my brain its rlly cool and comfy and its like a chair that was made specifically for me so it doesn't hit my bones in rlly uncomfortable ways and its the perfect size and its like. Goldilocks. But for me. And a brain. A brain chair. Alsooo fuck tonsilitis i dont have it anymore it went like a week or 2 or 3 ago i forgot how much time its ben since then but. It was not good like at all like comparing now to then. Tonsilitis fucking sucked man. And yet i would give anything to live like that week always. Just chilling with jack having eveey minute of the day to myself watching whatever i want (altho it was annoying bc i couldnt be arsed 2 figure out how tf 2 watch yt on the tv but also w my adblocker so i only watched unlisted videos on there) but. Either way. That was a good week. Anddddd fuck my parents the end.

[djsangos]

its fine i also took a minute to get back to this weve both got lives it happens

hope everythings alright

so what im learning lately is that 9 times out of 10 if a civilization falls hubris was probably the #1 cause apparently

'the eradication of all existing life was a worthy sacrifice' cod damn if that doesnt sound horrifyingly familiar why do so many people operate this way

and now you guys are dealing with the consequences of that guys hubris it really is all hubris all the way down isnt it

thanks i guess but it did take me a minute. and also becoming captain to really implement much change about it but thankfully gramps' attitude started changing a little bit too

its harder to rationalize whats happening when youre actively partaking in invading the 'enemys' homeland to indiscriminately attack and steal back what they stole first

like sure i guess neither side in this conflict was really in the right but was all that really fucking necessary when a better solution was staring us right in the face

the theft of the great zapfish couldve been avoided if

i dunno

all the octarians' attempts at getting power in other ways werent always immediately thwarted by an old man stuck in the past?

like i love gramps im really glad hes changed his mind about a lot of things but come on

but tbh i get it when youre deep in the trenches of danger its hard to get your head out of the mud and take a proper gander at the propaganda against the backdrop of live combat and war

wait hang on those are actual bars cod damn

anyway at least you realized eventually right

ill accept the luck anyway theres definitely some shit im still just as blind to

like the grizzco bullshit cod the grizzco bullshit how did i let THAT slip under my radar for so fucking long

yeah space bear long story

or i guess the bear wasnt FROM space he was from earth but he used a space ship and went to space in the service of his Master Plan so

space bear

as for our funding lets just say the former captain has some rich relatives

not that hes ever paid any of us directly which is why we all have other jobs and all this is entirely an If You Can/Want To sort of situation

most of us just stuck with it because were freaks i think and tbh i think im too in over my head to just bail now even if i wanted to (which i dont)

i help my agents financially when i can obviously but mostly doing just freelance gigs isnt exactly the most stable income but hey album sales have been gaining traction so that helps

but yeah im a dj

until recently ive mostly just done remixes or live sets but i did release my first actual original album a little while ago

my style can vary i typically just throw whatever im thinking/feeling into the song im working on and go from there

which apparently tends to come across as more eccentric/alternative according to listeners idk

but that process is exactly why i only have one single original album release even though ive had my name as a dj out there since i was like 16

music im pretty sure is important to every culture but its super important to us fish people to us its the truest form of expression/communication in addition to just being really fucking hype and fun to listen to so when it comes to my songs i get all self conscious about what it is theyre saying without me even really meaning to say or i feel like they say something a little Too private for an audience it so a lot of my original works go unreleased its just the way it goes

anyway enough of me yapping what kind of music do you like gladiia

Apologies for the delayed response; a small matter was brought to my attention, and I had to swiftly resolve it before it became any less small. It's a pleasure to meet you, Captain.

To answer your question, the existential threat we face are called the Seaborn, though we now know that name to be somewhat inaccurate. Centuries ago, we made first contact with them in the depths of a benthic canyon. We found a mostly-slumbering form of strange, alien life. It was more adaptable than anything we'd ever seen. Not only could it acclimate almost instantly to any environment, including vacuum, it could mimic the form and function of anything it consumed. The few awakened terrors resembled a chimera of native wildlife, and had become the apex predators of their ravine. We quickly moved to contain this species, as it had already disrupted the local ecosystem, and if left unchecked could be disastrous. We failed.

We recently uncovered the origin of this plague: these monsters that forever grow, forever evolve, which have taken control of vast swathes of the ocean; monsters that adapt to every weapon used against them; monsters that have learned to take on the form of our weapons. They are not natural, but manmade. Built by the hubris of an ancient civilization that must have believed it could defeat death, if only it could make something stronger. Perhaps fearing the eradication of all life at the hands of an unknowable threat, a threat we have only seen the briefest of glimpses of, it created a form of life that could survive the end of everything. But life survived that civilization's fall, and it may not survive the consequences of what they left behind.

The Seaborn may have slumbered forever in the laboratories that contained them, an unfinished work of pure arrogance, had it not been for one of Ægir's own scientists. Fearing the return of the apocalypse that wiped out our precursors, he awakened Ishar'mla, the great titan among those the Seaborn call the Firstborn. The eradication of all existing life was, in his eyes, a worthy sacrifice for the preservation of life itself.

I applaud you for recognizing the folly of your command on your own. I was not so quick to catch on. Perhaps the severity of the threat made me blind to the depths of Ægir's depravity.

I wasn't ignorant to Ægir's faults, but I rationalized them as functional necessities. It's easy to believe that you're doing the right thing, that nothing can be done about the cruelties you witness around you, when your skies are so darkly clouded you cannot imagine a sun beyond them. I'd wish you luck in keeping a moral righteousness in your command, but you don't seem to need it.

...

Hold on a second, space bear?

Thank you for elaborating. It may say something about me, or perhaps about Ægir, that it's difficult for me to imagine a military whose operations are not fundamentally intertwined with law enforcement and civilian bureaucracy. Where does your funding come from, if I may ask? It's a militia, so I have to assume it's not from some public institution. I can imagine some system of self-sufficiency in the sale of services, or a reliance on donations from members or the public, but I don't wish to assume anything.

I've left this for the end, if only because it's the subject that's caught my interest the most. You're a DJ? For what sort of music? Can you offer any comments on your style? Systems of government, nations, militaries—of course I'm interested in these things, for they've occupied much of my life. What truly captivates me, however, is art and expression.

[coyoxxtl]

I have my own piece i have to say vaguely about the recent nh discorse, especially as a poc who got into this game BECAUSE of muriel. under read more bc i went off too much.

so Ive been into the arcana for a While now, before the first three routes officially ended. and i wont lie and pretend i didn’t Thoroughly enjoy the hell out of this game at first, I paid for coins to get through the routes faster and ended up shilling out for a muriel body pillow bc im a whore. but bc i have been in this fandom for this long it just exhausts me that this company is still covering their ears and going LALALALA after hearing the slightest critique of their racist story choices and behavior in public communities like discord. I Literally experienced the rise and fall of this game, I witnessed this story contort into whatever the fuck it is now in Real time.

anyway. muriel is Literally the sole reason why i bothered installing the game in the first place. if he wasnt in the game i wouldnt be here full stop. big goth and indigenous coded ?? (yes i caught on that as soon as i saw him) my dream. there arent any LIs like him in other games afaik. so you could imagine my heartbreak when i installed it and he wasn’t a LI (at the time). so i begrudgingly kept playing other routes because i knew he was coming eventually. and when his route came along i started out incredibly excited and supportive of it until it kept going and im forced to see how the writers of this game Actually see him, which is, not good at all. surprisingly design elements like his chains didnt put me off bc i took it as being goth and dramatic and i liked them, same with his scourge of the south stuff. i thought his more brutal and rough aspects about him made him interesting.

ill make it clear that despite how much i looooove the coliseum and scourge muriel that i Do Not care for him to be Enslaved to that position. i think he couldve been perfectly fine doing all that on his own volition. its actually Very easy to erase the slavery from his backstory. gladiators may have had a history of some being slaves, but not all, they weren’t killing each other all that much, and it was more sport than anything. an executioner is, actually, a fairly high ranking, and feared, position. he could’ve easily gravitated towards being the scourge out of his necessity of being an orphan street kid, who’s only value others bothered to acknowledge was his size and strength. all the other LIs ended up working for lucio in their own way (asra was the court magician, julian apprenticed under the court doctor, nadia was literally married to the man) there really was no need to make him a slave, especially if you have other characters who are in historically slave-filled jobs *cough*portia*cough*. so the decision to make (and keep) muriel a slave is very obviously a racialized choice.

now bringing in lucio, how the devs decided to make lucio by the time his route came around directly affected muriels Whole thing. I remember when lucio was an Actual Threat to the rest of the cast. He was a cruel count with a bloated ego who trampled on Anyone to get what he wants. and guess what? I actually liked him. He was fun, he was dramatic and campy. BUT THEN THE FIRST THREE ROUTES ENDED. lucio was violently killed in a few of the endings (or all of them idk i didnt read them all) and his stans collectively lost their shit. so many of them saying his death was “too cruel” for him, too gruesome, that he didn’t deserve what he got. Which is conceptually hilarious considering he just died dramatically like a disney villain but it happened. and i just KNOW that NH took all those complaints to heart and scrambled to scrub lucios character clean of any interesting rancid villainy and replaced it with this nonthreatening loser who’s actions were no big deal really and his route became all about redeeming him. in his route asra seems to accept and tolerate him despite him being the sole reason he was living on the streets as a child and why his best friend/lover was traumatized in his own way. he even said he would never forgive him, yet they made him act like he did. muriel isnt even so much as MENTIONED in his route despite being muriels biggest source of fear in his own. and in the end of muriels route? the upright end was a silly low stakes football game where they made muriel act like lucio was just a victim of consequence and “didnt mean it” like enslaving him was another one of his oopsies, and his reverse end essentially framed the act of killing lucio as a negative, destructive thing that shouldn’t have happened. i dont get why they went through the trouble of essentially overhauling lucios whole character if they didn’t even bother to get rid of one of his biggest atrocities to a main character.

anyway this was more word vomit than anything but the act of santizing lucio to appease the teenage babies that want to coddle him was literally the downfall of this stupid fucking game and they will keep digging their grave deeper if they keep on pandering to this corner of the fandom, which seems to be the only corner they seem to give attention to. they need to stop blatantly ignoring good faith crits from fans of the game in favor of children who dont have a critical thinking braincell in their whole body. i know this is partially because NH doesn’t have very many of the original writers or artists on board (if any) but it wouldn’t have gone on like this if they made a decent foundation and used their fuckin ears to listen for once. muriel is mine now. and no one elses bc my brain and cock is huge.