#but idk it's kinda boring ? and i LOVE slow-paced shit so it says a lot coming from me

[absoluteabsolem]

the way i so rarely give really good ratings to the things i watch and read makes me think that i am, perhaps, a hater

[canarypost]

pjo ep4. pacing is weird. it felt way too short which is weird bc the chimera and the arch was a MASSIVE thing in the book but at least they kept the ending w the naiad and him learning to breathe underwater. the scene of the three and echidna talking in the train was wayyy too long i was so bored. the fight scene w percy at the top of the arch was super fast i've noticed there is little to no actual action in this show like i wanted the cgi to go all out in the fight scenes but the minotaur fight was super super super dark and there was ZERO music which. wtf. and the clarisse fight was pretty good but this chimera scene was extremely lackluster like stop fucking talking. the chimera looked weird too i don't think there was enough color on it to differentiate the lion/goat/scorpion parts and it would've been really great to get a wide shot of the full form chimera + echidna so itd be really threatening. and there wasnt a lot of lore dropped w them either at least not like there was w medusa which is weird bc i thought they would've been setting a precedent w medusa and making every monster they encounter on their journey help us understand both greek mythology esp for people who havent read the books AND percy and his relationship w his parents. im hoping we get to see gabe being more of a dick on the news after this episode bc i really wanna see him more violent. make us hate him more yk. bc rn he's just pathetic.

but most importantly i've seen this thing go on with the entire show so far and it's that no one fucking talks like real people least of all the golden trio. stop saying "mother" and "father" no one fucking says that least of all these kids of single parents many of whom would rather pour chiron's horse shit into the campfire than show their godly parents the tiniest modicum of respect. no one has interjections like "um" "uh" or "like," no one says "bro" or "dude" not even between percy and grover which is completely absurd like i cannot understate how much it bothers me that we're only told that percy and grover have been friends for years bc if i didn't know better i'd say they've known each other as long as percy and annabeth have. not to mention annabeth's "she [thalia] fought valiantly" in ep3 which is so utterly bonkers annabeth isn't some kinda "old soul" she's a kid with neglectfully abusive parents (which we arent even shown the affects of!! she has to tell it to percy directly for some reason!!! this show has a massive problem with telling instead of showing) who's passionate about architecture and her godly parent. she's just a really fuckin smart kid. now that im typing it all out it's really not as big of a deal to me as the others but it's just fucking weird. but ig if u look at it from some specific angles it's in character. but whatever. i still love her to death for that candy scene in the gas station last episode

but going back to the dialogue thing percy and grover being dumb preteen boy best friends and calling each other "dude" and "bro" 1. shows us instead of just tells us that they've been friends for a long time, 2. has annabeth roll her eyes a bunch (a notable character trait) and shows us she's a little stuck up but more lonely than anything else, and then 3. gives the opportunity to endear percy and grover to annabeth so to not just grow the relationship between all three (golden trio!!! so important) but also the percy/annabeth slow burn AND the healing of the past grover/annabeth relationship which both of them are so so so guilty about. idk i think i need more one-on-one grover/annabeth scenes yet considering we haven't had A SINGLE ONE

last negative thing but the pool flashback at the beginning felt extremely ooc for sally. like i know how important it is for percy to learn to swim esp since he literally doesn't know who his dad is but she was being such a dick!!!! first of all ur kid is clearly more stressed out about swimming than u r about him NOT swimming and second of all it is totally unnecessary to be doing this in PUBLIC swim lessons. like u can see sally looking around at all the other parent/kid pairs like sorry ur worried about how u look to the fucking pool pta but ur kid is fucking terrified. give it another goddamn day give the kid a break. the real sally would never sally jackson i love you i love you i love you

what i DID like about this episode was the opening shot underwater, it reminded me a lot of the movie and controversial opinion but the show could actually use being quite a bit more like the movie bc it was actually pretty good even if it didnt follow the story whatsoever. i liked the shot of the centaurs on the train and i thought i also remembered that from the movie but i think i just remembered seeing the shot in my head when i was reading the book which is actually really impressive. the three getting into real world trouble w the cops is very accurate, percy sitting in the fountain while grover and annabeth splash him was funny, and i ESPECIALLY loved percy pulling a fast one on annabeth at the top of the arch i think it really shows off his self sacrificing nature imo better than him rushing the minotaur in ep1 bc we know his character better by now and we're more emotionally invested. and i really loved that they kept percy's way of learning he could breathe underwater + the naiad from poseidon

actually im not done being neg i really wish they would've kept "isn't that a kind of anteater?" and "prove your bloodline" which would lead to percy purposefully jumping off the arch instead of falling. idk it feels like we're slowwwlllyyy growing to see percy being percy bc im gonna be honest. rn he doesn't have much of a personality. where is persassy. bc i cant fuckin see him

anyway it was a fun episode if a bit slow. it had it's moments. im excited for waterland and the tunnel of looooove next week though :33

[artistkakan]

Okay, I have just finished the Fontaine Archon Quest and I want to talk about it. Cuz I get the impression that people are really enjoying it or even has it as their favorite quest so far and I can't say that I really agree? Which is not to say that you are wrong for liking it! I'd just like to write down my thoughts on it. I absolutely adore all the characters and it's no secret that I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Wrio. I also love the aesthetic of Fontaine as well as having it as one of my all time favorite regions! But the quest is where it falls short of being a homerun for me. Because it has potential, which actually makes me kinda sad that I wasn't feeling it. Furina is an amazing character and I love everything about her. Can't wait to do her story quest. And I like the concept of a lot of what was going on with Furina being an actor and Neuvillette getting his powers back and all that.

I think where the problem lies for me is in the execution, specifically the pacing. It's too slow and long. I feel like a lot could've been cut/shortened for maximum efficiency of the storytelling (spoken like I know shit about writing lol), cuz to me it felt like it dragged on for a little too long. It wasn't as bad as the Sumeru quest cuz that was straight up boring whenever Alhaitham wasn't on screen. Or maybe I'm just too neurodivergent to pay attention for long enough, idk lol. But like, I feel like act three and four could've been smashed together, cuz why did we need to have such a long section of daily life at the Fortress?? I get that it was to investigate Childe's disappearance, but it went on for too long before you started getting somewhere.

There was also a lot of things needing settng up for the story to work, but the slow pacing also made it take a little too long between set-up and payoff imo. And because there was so much that needed to get introduced there didn't seem to be a connection between all the different elements. And not in a "I can't wait to see how this plays out and connects", but more in a messy way. The story had a bit of a weird vibe, and I think that might be why. It felt a bit all over the place till the end. Which happened rather suddenly. You went to fight the damn narwhal and then it was just over?? Like the fight was really anticlimactic. You didn't really do that much? It wasn't very difficult? And then you get told the flood happened, have a short scene of people surviving and then the flood is gone,, I feel like that could've been given more time instead of, idk, going on a walk with Paimon?? And also, what was the point of The Wingalet? It just appeared for like five seconds in a cutscene and that was it (I'm also disappointed in the lack of Wrio, but it makes sense that he wasn't there. But it still felt weird that the whole Fontaine cast but him was part of the plan). And Childe didn't get a goodbye either, he just got yeeted away. Idk, something felt missing about the conclusion. It didn't feel very satisfying, at least to me.

Anyways, review(??) over plz don't kill me for having an opinion lol

[drakenology]

A B C’s with Todoroki Shoto.

hiii! so I got this little idea while leisurely scrolling through bnha smut. idk if this creator is the originator of the trend but I wanna give credit anyways so shout out to @nillabeam​ for inspiring me to drabble on and on about my shoto doin the dirty. 

warnings: smut (obvi so 18+ please), slight daddy kink, all characters are aged up, and some swearing cause I feel like it. 

enjoy my little heathens!

A- Aftercare

Oh don’t be fooled by Todo’s calm and stoic demeanor. He is fucking insatiable in bed. 

But after a long night of ravishing you until you’re drunk on his cock, he’ll run you both a bath to soak your muscles in and relax.

Would help you in and out of the bath as he washed you up, rinsing your back for you. 

He’d leave kisses where he left harsh hickies. 

Would tell you how much he loved you, and gush about how delicate and pretty you were. EEK!!

B- Body Part 

He loved your breasts. 

You would often catch him staring at them as you talked to him, earning a stern look on your face to remind him to pay attention to you.

Would fuck you on your back just to watch them bounce and jiggle around 

He felt like your boobs were always so happy to see him, perking up when he would grab them. 

Would kiss them during sex and loves playing and sucking on them. 

Most of your hickies were all over them 

As for his own body, He really likes how toned and strong his arms got. 

He wants to protect you, so he got stronger so he can beat people up for you if he needed to. aww how sweet. 

C- Cum

He cums all over his favorite part of your body (see B). 

He also likes to cum inside you, cause he’s got a small teeny weeny breeding kink. 

You always cum first.. like it’s mandatory. He simply can’t bring himself to do it knowing you haven’t had your fill. 

When you go down on him thoooooo..

He loved to cum all over your pretty face. He always thought you looked gorgeous painted in his cum. 

He’d kiss your lips after you gave him head if a little bit of his hot cum was still on your mouth. 

D- Dirty Secret

As I said, Todoroki was a stoic and cool person out in public. 

He didn’t appear to be as sexually savant as he is 

but BABY

I’m tellin you, in the bedroom Todo is a beast. 

He really liked being called daddy.

It was something about watching your cute little face twist in pleasure whine and beg for him to fuck you. 

“Address me right, princess.” ASDGFJKF

HUGE daddy kink, da fuqq.

E- Experience 

eh.. some.

He had another girlfriend before you; some girl Endeavor set him up with. She cheated on him. 

but yeah.. my baby knows what he’s doing.

He loved showing you his moves. Watching your amazed and fucked out face was his favorite part of fucking you. 

F- Favorite Position

He loved them all tbh. 

He liked to experiment with a lot of different positions, getting bored pretty quickly.

But his tried and true is missionary.

He got to watch your face react to his every maneuver, kiss your neck to mark you up as his territory as he whispers in your ear sweet praises 

“Good girl, kitten.” “So good for me.” “You feel so good, baby”

Also your luscious breasts were front and center for him to stare at as he pounds you ooooooooo. 

G- Goofy

Yeah soo.. Shoto is a little serious. A little too serious in fact. 

Once when you two were making out he lifted you up, trying to carry you into your room as he bumped your head on the door frame. 

God it was like you were on life support or something

He apologized a million times, blaming himself as if he severely hurt you. 

You just giggle and kiss him in hopes it’ll shut him up and calm his worrying. You knew it was just an accident. 

H- Hair

He kept himself pretty trim, not really liking having a lot of hair on his body, for the exception of his arms and legs. He couldn’t help that he was a hairy guy (I imagine Endeavor being a lil hairy under his hero costume soo genetics?)

I- Intimacy

 he’s such a hopeless romantic it’s adorable.

he dotes on you the whole time, ensuring he’s not hurting you too much 

would kiss you over and over again

wants to you be comfortable at all times. 

in moments like these you’re the only thing that matters. 

J- Jack off

If for whatever reason he’s away, he always calls you. 

“I need you baby, what are you wearing right now?” He’ll ask, no matter if he’s in an important meeting or away on business, if he’s horny he’s horny.

Needs your voice to help him through his orgasm. 

Loves to facetime when he’s away so he can see your face and your body. 

“Yes, god Y/N you’re so perfect. Bend over for me.. yes..” He groaned, sloppily palming away at his length as he comes to his climax.

K- Kink

he’s got a lot sksksns

definitely a fucking dom

loves telling you what to do, always calling the shots in bed most of the time

Loves pet names, “baby girl” “kitten” “princess” 

overstimulates you sometimes just to see you squirm under him, the sick bastard. 

high key a sadist.. he’ll never openly admit to that tho

L- Location 

anywhere, surprisingly. 

If you two were out with friends and he felt an urge to taste you, he’d simply say you two are going to the car to get something, only to start having sex with you in the back seat. 

Fucks you in his office

Fucked you in his childhood bedroom once as a fuck you to his father. haha.

down for whateva.

M- Motivation

one thing that always got him going was you acting coy. Like you don’t know that what you’re doing is turning him on. 

You lean a little more, your blouse unbuttoned so he can see your ample cleavage. 

“What do you mean, Sho?” You bat your eyelashes, smirking at him as you watch his face turn red. 

“Fuck Y/N, don’t be cute. You’ll be sorry when we get home.” He would hiss at you, secretly not wanting you to stop teasing him.

He loved your sexy ass.

N-No 

he hated excessive hitting or pain play.

he was always too scared to hurt you, knowing he could by mistake at any given point. 

he just won’t hit you.. so don’t ask.

O- Oral

he loved sloppy, degrading head from you. 

fucks your throat sometimes, loves hearing you gag. 

when he gives you head though, he’s relentless.

he wont stop until your sobbing, begging him to fill you as he ate you out, shallowly fingering you with one finger to make you.

“Aw.. look at you. So desperate. You want me inside you, kitten?” UGHHH

P- Pace

depends on the situation or what mood he’s in. 

when he’s making love to you, his pace is slow and methodical, wanting to savor the moment

however when you’ve been bad... FUCK

he’s gonna pound you into the mattress until you’re a fucked out mess underneath him, begging him to slow down so you can catch you breath

“Don’t cry now, princess. You had so much mouth earlier.” He would mock you, smirking at your weakened state. Yall I-

Q- Quickies

as much as he loved taking his time with you, quickies were something that were quite vital for you two.

Shoto was always busy with something as he always kept himself occupied to provide for you two. 

Whenever the opportunity arises, you two strike while the iron’s hot

R- Risk 

Shoto likes to explore every aspect of sex, so that leaves for lots of room for exploration.

Finding new spots to touch and lick and suck on. 

He loved taking risks if it meant he got to listen to your sweet moans. 

S- Stamina

uhm.. yes. 

he had a fuck ton, you often cumming multiple times before he did. 

“I hope you’re not tapping out on me. I’m not through with you yet.” He would coo to you, urging you to yet another orgasm. 

he almost felt bad for you, as you twitch and shake overstimulated from his stamina being filled to the goddamn brim. 

T- Toys

he used them on you a lot.

loved little bullet vibrators, they were so handy in helping him send you into a frenzy. 

one night he had made you squirt when he used one on you as he fucked you senseless. 

“Ooh I know you’ve got some more in there for me, kitten. Be a good girl and do that again.” 

he also liked to watch you fuck yourself with a dildo. 

he found it pretty easy to degrade you as he watched you try mimic his thrusts with it. 

“You wish that was me don’t you, kitten? Too bad.” 

U- Unfair 

he totally LOVES teasing you

in public especially, loving to see you flustered and speechless as you try and talk to others. 

“What’s wrong, princess? You seem a little hot.” He’d say, caressing your inner thigh under the table at dinner. 

V- Volume

todo isn’t very loud in bed.

he’ll grunt and groan against your skin has he fucked you 

definitely cussing a lot under his breath and whispering praises or obscenities in your ear as he took you. 

“Ugh..baby. You feel so good.” “You’re mine..all mine.” “Shit, you’re so wet.”

W- Wild Card!!!

todoroki’s favorite memory of one of your ventures was when he had you bent over the kitchen sink. he didn’t think you could cum that hard around him, the feelings almost sending him into his own release.

he loved when you wore dresses to give him easy access to your pussy. 

loved fucking you in them, something about pulling it up to reveal you cheeky little panties made him feral. 

X- X-Ray

todoroki is PACKIN okay? 

i don’t imagine him being extra long, but he had really nice girth

still to this day you’re left speechless when he pulls that glizzy out his boxers. 

Y-Yearning

shoto loves you.. like a lot.

everything you do kinda sends him into a frenzy, wanting you right then and there. 

he wants sex pretty much all the time, I think the only time he’s not horny is when he’s working. 

Z- Zzz

you always fell asleep first, being that shoto wears you the fuck out

he liked to watch you sleep, leaving soft kisses all over your face. 

“I love you, Y/N.” He’d whisper, holding you close as he drifted off to sleep with you. AWWWW 

whew this shit took longer than I thought. hope yall liked this. i’m finally starting to write about more characters other than my baby daddy katsuki. bye! 

[jinkicake]

You Call Him Daddy?!

You accidentally call them daddy in front of the team. 

Aone Takanobu x Reader

Sawamura Daichi x Reader

For you, sweet Anon! I kinda rambled about Aone,,, uhhhh,,,, I just had so much to say about him! This is my first time writing for him and I had a lot of thoughts.... too many Aone thoughts..... I think his is the longest one I’ve written.... LOL bruh,, I was looking at my other posts and realized I have been spelling ‘accidentally’ wrong every entire time wtffff i-

SMUT

WC- 2,517

~~~

Aone Takanobu

Aone… is a service top,,,,, come on we all know he is

Like you cannot tell me this King wouldn’t treat you right, he is one of the ONLY haikyuu boys I would trust enough to marry

TBH mans doesn’t say shit and he isn’t going to say shit when you call him daddy in front of the team

The team though,,,, shit is going to go down like these mfs are going to combust

You have Futakuchi just standing there speechless with a proud look all over his face as he slowly starts clapping

And sweet Sakunami is like….. ‘did you guys hear sum….”

Ugh there is so much I could say about Aone….. like he would try to be sooo gentle with you just because he is a gentle person,,,, a sweet angel whose only concern is that no one will sit next to him on the train…. HOWEVER, despite as gentle as he tries to be this man still has power. Therefore,,,, you’re gonna get your guts rearranged, isn’t that nice?

Anyway,,,, let’s get into it!!

So basically….. it’s after practice and you’re there talking to Mai while waiting for the mf clowns to hurry up

And of course, Futakuchi wants to keep practicing a little bit so you’re like whatever fine,,,,,, since Aone was staying after too

You don’t really mind too much because Mai decided to stay a little longer as well but as soon as she left you grew tired fast, you had been sitting on the floor against the wall for over 40 minutes and all you want to do is go to sleep

You try to hold your tongue and not be rude because,,,, you don’t want to interrupt your boyfriend’s personal practice but gawwwwd were you bored

Instead, you innocently look around,,,,, innocently, however, your eyes keep going back to the tall blocker…. You glare at him so he notices your anger

Aone does and stares at you with a frown like he can’t figure out what he did wrong,,,,,,, you puff your cheeks out in retaliation

Behind him you see Futakuchi looking at you with a smug expression like 0.0 ,,,,,,, and then Aone looks at him disapprovingly

“What, I was just trying to join in on the conversation,” Futakuchi jokes and slaps Aone’s back before focusing back on the court

You’re like two seconds away from stomping your feet in retaliation,,,,, it’s nearly eight o’clock!!!

So with the anger of a very tired student, you begin walking around and cleaning up the stray balls

You start doing anything to hurry up their practice so you can finally leave with your boyfriend in tow, Sakunami gives you a thankful smile and you feel your irritation slightly diminish

There is something about the first year that you have just come to adore,,,,, not all first years though....

“Yo!” Koganegawa calls and you glance at him, your eyes widen when you notice the volleyball fly past your face. It misses you by a hair

You feel your eye twitch but still, inhale a deep breath to calm yourself down before turning to Futakuchi

“Kenji, when are you guys going to finish practice?” You ask sweetly and the captain looks deep in thought before shrugging

“I don’t know like 40 mins” He responds and you can’t help but whimper and gently stomp your foot, your boyfriend notices your change in attitude and glares at his friend,,,,,, “Fine like 10 minutes” Futakuchi groans and you have to hold yourself back from kissing your boyfriend senseless

That’s how you find yourself in the storage closet minutes later, placing the volleyballs in their respective corners

Aone follows closely behind you, not that you notice, and you nearly scream when you feel his arms wrap around your waist. Your boyfriend curls over your form to rest his chin on your shoulder, gently kissing your skin apologetically….. so he did pick up on the reason for your attitude!

You reach up and ruffle his light hair, giggling when you feel his smile against your neck

“Sorry I was acting so annoyed, I’m just really tired,” You tell him and his arms tighten around you

“That’s okay” Aone mumbles and you nearly melt, it isn’t often that you hear from him but when you do….. it makes you turn into a flustered mess

“I just wanted to go home, daddy” You whisper back quietly,, Aone pulls you flush into his chest and you squeak at the contact

However, when you hear a ball dropping behind you,,,,,,, you glance back in shock at the horrified first year

Sakunami opens his mouth to speak but no words come out, he slowly backs out of the closet and nearly trips when he runs away

“DADDY?!” Koganegawa mimics and Futakuchi pushes him out of the storage closet doors

“What are you talking about-“ He starts but cuts himself off but an impressed gasp when he notices your shocked face,,,, Futakuchi only smiles at his friends back and pretends to wipe a proud tear from his face

“You didn’t hear what you think you did….” You try and cover up but Koganegawa only repeats the word,,,,,, Futakuchi simply shrugs innocently

“I’ll give you your time alone,” He quietly closes the closet door and you sigh at the darkness

“Let me turn on a light-“ You start but Aone pins you to the nearest wall, his hands are gentle on your hips and you gasp at the suddenness of it all

“My love,” He starts and your eyes widen at the heat pooling between your thighs “stay quiet”

“Daddy, please. Please, please, please.” You beg, already taken over by pleasure. Aone continues to slowly thrust into you in a way that leaves you breathless and crying for more. His low grunts ring throughout the room and you whimper when you notice how his biceps flex with every thrust. 

Each stroke of his hard cock is so powerful that it nearly sends you into the headboard, you rake your nails along his ribs and tighten around him at the way his abdomen ripples under your touch. “I need more, daddy, please give me more.” 

Aone reaches down and rubs away the tears that spilled onto your cheeks with his thumb, he softly cups your cheek and leans down to kiss you. The kiss is a simple peck and you whine when he pulls away, however, your whines don’t last for very long. Your boyfriend picks up the pace and begins to snap his hips into yours, your breasts bounce with every thrust and you can’t help the way your voice shakes.

“Yes, yes, thank you daddy-“ You praise and moans of appreciation leave your lips so frequently, he is ruining you. There is something about the way he moves his hips so skillfully, how he thrusts into you so deeply but still manages to brush against your g-spot every time. It runs you up the wall and you’re so far gone you can barely focus on anything but him. 

Aone moves to rest on his forearms, leaning directly on his left side while his right hand reaches down to move your clit back and forth between his large fingers. His movements are slow and cautious, in a very teasing pace to build up the pleasure. Aone always winds you up so tightly before letting you snap, he is so focused on you. You mewl and arch your back, pressing your chest directly in his own, as he begins to rub circles into your clit. You open your mouth to say something but no words come out, that look in your eyes nearly makes his hips stutter and your boyfriend leans down to whisper his command.

“Cum.”

Sawamura Daichi

Let me start off by saying that all the captains have daddy kinks, no I will not be taking criticism

There is not ONE captain who doesn’t exude daddy energy…. I would love to see someone try to prove me wrong~~~ </333

Anyway,,,, Daichi is not called the dad of the team because he is mature and shit,,,,, no that is not the reason

Daichi is the daddy™ of the team, get it right, do I really have to explain this one

Like yessss feed us bitches who have issues with their fathers, yessss where my daddy kink bitches at? We are eating good tonight! 

Daichi isn’t my favorite daddy captain, it will always be Ushijima Kita, but lawwwwd he does make me act up

I thought about it for a while,,,,, how Daichi would react to being called daddy in front of his team and honestly,,,,, I don’t really know…..

His team is such a mess that instead of being embarrassed or anything he would have to calm them down because they’re losing their minds like he does not have the time to be embarrassed ya know

Daichi is a soft daddy,,,,, like come on you have a crazy mf like Sugawara and you expect him not to be soft 

Tbh I hardcore ship Daichi with that cute girl from the girls’ volleyball team like ugh her crush on him is sooooo cute,,,, idk why that is relevant I just wanted to point out how adorable and sweet they are ….. power couple!!

“He has a daddy kink,” Kiyoko points at the picture with the blonde in a yellow uniform, the two of you are going through the Spring High volleyball magazine

“Didn’t he hit on you one time, lucky bitch” You gasp dramatically and Kiyoko rolls her eyes before flicking your forehead,,,, it is only the two of you in the gym before practice starts

Your once shy friend is laid back and comfortable, out of her shell since it is only the two of you

“Daddy kink” She points to middle blocker daddy!matsukawa from Seijoh and you give her an approving nod

“Daddy kink” You then point to the ace ugh iwaizumi </3 and Kiyoko draws a heart over his face

“Daddy kink, daddy kink, daddy kink,” She begins pointing to numerous members from Seijoh “they all have daddy kinks”

“Somebody is eager,” You playfully flirt and she presses her fingers to your cheek to push you away

“Omg do Karasuno, please I need to know your thoughts!” You beg and flip to your own school’s team, Kiyoko looks at you cautiously before taking a deep breath in

She refuses to speak but points at Asahi and you nod in agreement “I believe so as well” You whisper and she chokes on her laughter

Kiyoko glances at you experimentally and then points at Daichi,,,,, she stares at you and watches as you try to hide your expression

“Well… not that I would know-“ You lie and she pushes your shoulder,, you dramatically stand up in front of her with your hands on your hips “Yes. He does have a daddy kink” and then Kiyoko laughs loudly, covering her mouth as she falls over and wheezes

“Girl fuck you, you expect me to fuck Daichi and not call him daddy?” You ask and she tries to wave you off

“(Y/N), I’m not judging-“ She cries, clutching her sides as you continue to scream random nonsense

“No, I do call Daichi ‘daddy’ and what about it? Tell me you wouldn’t also!” Your voice echos throughout the empty hollow gym and, not to your knowledge, outside the doors as well

Kiyoko continues to laugh loudly, her angelic laughter is something you know the second years would kill to hear, however when she glances at the open doors she immediately closes back up again

She grabs your wrist and pulls you to sit back down beside her, trying to act like you two weren’t just discussing what you call Daichi late at night

Someone clears their throat from the doorway and you glance up to see your boyfriend along with the other third years and a few second years

“H-Hey” your voice cracks and Kiyoko covers her face with the magazine to hide her laughter, her shoulders shake violently beside you “what are you guys up to?” You glance around the gym and try to ignore the silence

“Not much~” Sugawara sings and walks up to you, he grabs the magazine and points at himself before whispering, “daddy” he solidifies the secret with a wink and you burst out laughing

Kiyoko stands up and tries to hide her face into the wall to hide the way she is laughing so hard

“I can’t be here,” You choke and get up, walking past your boyfriend who stares at you with an emotionless expression

You know he heard everything~~

“Daddy,” You giggle as you continue to roll your hips on Daichi’s lap, you let out an exaggerated moan when you feel his cock harden beneath you. Teasingly you bite your bottom lip and flirt with his eyes, continuing to grind against him. Daichi simply ignores you and you move your lips to his neck, trying to get some sort of reaction from him.

You lick at his skin and release a muffled moan when you bite down on his skin. You’re acting so cocky right now, so driven by lust that you’re acting so foolishly in front of your boyfriend.

“Come on, fuck me.” You push your chest into his, purposely rubbing your breasts against him. Daichi leans forward and ghosts his lips over yours, pulling away whenever you get too close.

“Why should I fuck you when you’ve been nothing but naughty?” He asks and you bring your finger up to tap your chin before you laugh softly again.

“Hmm because I asked, daddy.” You lean up on your knees and press your lips to his, Daichi swiftly smacks your ass. His hand stings your flesh and you whimper but can’t help the smile that grows on your face from getting what you want. “Mmm just like that~” You laugh breathily and Daichi positions you down onto his thigh, you mewl at the feeling of his strong muscle pressed underneath you. His hand comes up to wrap around your throat, teasingly he squeezes the sides of your neck and watches the way your eyes cloud up at. “Yes, daddy.”

You try to kiss him once more but you’re unable to move due to the hold he has on you. Daichi continues to bring his hand down and spank you over and over, his slaps are harsh but you happily take them as you feel the liquid pooling between your legs.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Daichi asks and his eyes narrow warningly at you, you pretend you don’t notice. You know he is referring to earlier today.

“I’m sorry, daddy?” You apologize but you can’t help but wonder if you really are sorry or not, you give him another cheeky smile and Daichi slaps your ass once more while cutting off your flow of air.

“You love your punishments, don’t you baby girl?” He asks and you nod eagerly. “I know, god, I’m going to fuck you so good.”

~ Taglist.

@yams046 @why-am-i-sad-and-sleepy @xhanjisungiex @xxashshs @chaosamu @angelkogane @augustdearly @kunimwuah  @lovellucy @osamuonigiri

[syubub]

How BTS flirt

Saucy disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!!

Lol this is gonna be a fun one so buckle up and hold on to your socks

Seokjin

Lol oki

I think there's two types of jinnie flirting. Casual fun flirting and flirting because he's actually intrested

When he is actually intrested in someone and is trying to flirt its kinda slow moving and not very obvious

Its little things like, "your hair looks really nice today"

Things that are complements but he means it in a flirty way

He'd probably get a bit frustrated bc his flirting tactics are too subtle

I think he would also flirt by showing things he's intrested or possibly things that he's gathered

Kinda like a peacock

He wants the person he's flirting with to know that he's cool and show them what he has to offer but doesn't want to be... showy

He wants to maintain some kind of poise

But I think its because he's a little too shy to be up front and honest

But oh man when he's having fun and flirting for the fuck of it his whole goal is get everyone in a 10 mile radius flustered

He enjoys seeing people blush (I think its because he doesn't always take true compliments well and wants other people to feel good about themselves)

Jin

My boi

His tactics might be a little... strange.. at times

It's endearing though

And smooth

I wouldn't be surprised if he has a list of mid 2000's pick up lines on hand as a plan b

Yoongi

Legit before pulling any cards I heard "like a penguin"

I can't

Now to the fucking cards

WHY IS HE SO ROMANTIC??

What a soft man

He's a romantic flirt that doesn't use many words because he doesn't have to

You best believe he has coffee orders memorized, take out orders memorized, favorite drink always on hand

You needed something from the store?

He bought it.

Very much service and gifts because he wants to provide and kinda show his worth

"Here's this rock I saw. I know you like them so I figured I'd polish it for you too"

Lol he's wrapped around that pinky so tight

He's also very considerate and aware that unwanted flirting can be creepy and uncomfy so he's very very conscious of how he goes about things

I think flirting like this is almost... healing to him?

I think he really enjoys having someone to take care of (he definitely wants the same in return)

Yoon doesn't flirt. He'd rather be courting some one

Don't get me wrong though

He can definitely flirt and shit like that but its his secret weapon

He's also very confident when he flirts

He prefers flirting to come with no expectations

If anyone gets courted by min yoongi I want to see your stack of "rocks" (idk it could be bracelet charms or snow globes or postcards but I wouldn't be surprised if its actual rocks either)

Hoseok

Oki if you don't want to read some not pg then come back when I say it's safe lol

Hobi you horny mother fucker

Flirting is 100% foreplay

I CAN'T

Kissing is definitely in his flirting book

He flirts and establishes his dominance early on (hobi is a dom fight me)

Very confident in his flirting

LUSTY FUCKER

I get vibes that hobi would 100% fuck on the first date

(Kinky mf)

Omg hobi what a fucking tease too Jesus

Blah blah blah his flirting is foreplay bc he's horny and really wants to fuck.

Istg hobi just wait for a designated 18+ reading

Oki it's safe now

On the off chance that hobi isnt using his ridiculous flirting skills as foreplay

He is still very confident

And slow paced

He's trying to win the war not the battle

He is very push-pull when he flirts

It's with good intentions though

He's just really good with people and sweet talking

Very touchy

Flirting can also be a way for him to sus people out and decide if they are cool or nah

Flirting with hobi can lead to:

A. New best friend

B. Increadibly one night stand

C. The love of your fucking lifeb

D. A failed vibe check

Lowkey hobi would be kinda like wolf... very... driven?

Namjoon

A lot of compliments and just general good vibes

Lots of personal questions

"I bet you're really good at that. You should let me see sometime."

Definitely uses his smile

A lot

Very much the type to keep eye contact and be very attentive to the answers that are given to his questions

Its a wee bit methodical

But not in a weird way

He just wants to know where to go

Lots of emotional intelligence

Probs buys flowers or something cute

Very much reassuring and probably would be most flirty over drinks of some kind (like coffee or fancy wine)

Doesn't always flirt for the sake of romance but its pretty obvious when he is

He's just perfect

He gives complements often just in general and I think he absolutely knows how to use his charms

Very smooth

So so so so so witty

Definitely can get some nice giggles going

The way he flirts is honestly entrancing

We all know he is a fantastic talker

Probably uses a lot of beautiful language

Jimin

Very flirty

Flirty flirty

Also a little flexing involved!!

He'd be dressed to the 9's and very obvious

I definitely see him making everything about the other person

Very much peak libra behavior

He'd definitely feel flirty when he's feeling himself?

Flirting is almost like a first defense

Its easier to control the situation when he's flirting and its something that he loves to do

There's a lot of intelligence here with chim chim

He gets bored easily so flirting with him would be something engaging and intellectual as much as it is fun and laid back

Fancy fucking dinners

Flirty boi would like to have his match

Flirting is a competitive (fun) sport

He'd be a bit more toned down and less flashy if its someone he's actually trying to romance

Very fun and very exciting

Taehyung

Sexc

Think mysterious and cool as fuck

That's his flirting style

Very much must pass his vibe check

Be careful its a test

The way he flirts is by not saying anything about himself

He'd drop bits here and there but he has to make sure that you're worthy tbh

If someone makes it past the vibe check this is when the real flirting begins

He'd be very attentive and almost dedicated?

Like he sees flirting as a stepping stone

This is an investment and flirting would be tailored to the person he's flirting with

He's very intuitive and knows what people need

Very very very delacate

Also he might seem a bit intense when he flirts but its not necessarily a bad thing

Homie be regal at first but once he's comfy and is sure that they're compatible then he'd be way more inviting and open and giggly

Oh god he'd be the giggliest flirt on the whole planet

Also very considerate of boundries

Jungkook

Lol

He'd only really be comfy flirting if there isn't anyone else around

Very blushy

Kinda soft ngl?

It's cute soft and shy but he also has very strong boundaries

Flirting is something that he's not great at?

But he is very very very good at learning so the more he flirts the better he gets

This is an oddly personal journey?

He has to get over some stuff to get rid of some possible anxiety

He's also a little unconventional?

He has his own way of flirting and it'd be very adorable

Things like

"You're hair would be really cool if it was blue. I like it now too. So you should do whatever you like with your hair. Because its yours. And its nice. Yeah"

Its so CUTE

He'd overthink a lot too

What do I say? How do I act?

He'd also maybe throw in a cheeky back touch or two every so often

Shoulder touching too

Its very much like best friend flirting but koo means it as actual flirting

Honestly, if someone notices that koo is flirting with them it'd be best to just take the wheel and take the stress away

[w-ngs]

jan21

hello 2021! you did not get off on a good start. let’s try and be a little better, okay?

i didn’t read much this month (and probably won’t be for a long while because of school), but it was a wild month. well, you’ll see.

***

crooked kingdom, leigh bardugo — oh my god???? i completely forgot that i read this before i left for school and almost didn’t include it in my monthly wrap-up????? how dare i forget this masterpiece.

it was great. i loved it. i think overall, i preferred 6oc because heist stories are my guilty pleasure. but romance-wise... let’s just say kaz and inej have made it to my top 10 ships. but also i read through this so fast because i had to finish it before i left that half the story is kinda just not in my brain lololol

the most intriguing part of the entire story was the anti-wraith. her character kind of came out of nowhere, and i’m not really sure she had much of a purpose than being someone who could physically match inej. i guess she was also anti in the sense that she had no respect, just ruthlessness, which is the opposite of inej and what she stands for. but i don’t know if the anti-wraith was significant enough of a character to really be considered a foil.

i don’t really give spoiler warnings because hardly anyone reads these other than myself lolol but big spoiler ahead. skip the next paragraph if you don’t want to know. cuz i accidentally spoiled it for myself before reading and i kinda ruined it for myself lmfao.

poor matthias. he was there, and then he was gone. i feel terrible for nina. they were finally on the same page, and then he had to act all saint-like and trigger some idiot into killing him. and matthias finally came to terms with what he’d been taught and what he was trying to teach himself (#charactergrowth), so he wrapped things up neatly for himself before the bye-bye. but nina, she finally got her guy on her side and they were supposed to change the world together. sigh.

and of course, we got kaz. he’s my favorite. how could he not be, with his trauma and desire to overcome it but not letting it define him and still maintaining that evil genius act he’s so good at. it definitely hit harder in this story, the extent of his trauma. it made him more real, too. both sides of him coexist, and one could not exist without the other. he’s crazy, in nearly all senses of the word. also crazy in love, the mfing idiot. ugh, i love vulnerable kaz. i love what inej brings out in him, how she knows just how hard to push without driving him over the edge. also i saw a tiktok (this app is gonna come up a lot more in the next few reviews fsjdsdfkjdf) with a photo of them kissing with a towel between their mouths because he can’t touch her but he desperately wants to and what a perfect solution is that their... bathroom scene had me holding my breath. or at least taking very shallow breaths. it was intense. so intimate, i felt like i shouldn’t even have been there. ugh, the cute little babies. uwuwuwuwuwu

one last note. leigh bardugo is a very good writer, plot and characters and all. everything flowed much more smoothly in this book, and once again i was impressed by the detail provided. you go girl. i can’t wait to see the tv series development.

a 10/10.

***

the shadows between us, tricia levenseller — literally what did i read lmaooo. this is my first tiktok book recommendation. and it. was. boring. boring characters that didn’t make much sense. boring plot. i skimmed it after the first 50 pages cause it was so boring. that’s it bye.

a 3/10.

***

manacled, senlinyu — um. wow. i literally......... even hours after finishing it my brain is still ridiculously scrambled. edit: it’s about a month later and sometimes random scenes and images still pop in my head for no reason and then i feel all twisted inside again. i love it.

so, this is not a published book but a dramione fanfiction on ao3. i don’t read fanfics that often anymore, mainly because i’d rather read other things, not because i don’t like them. but i found this one because a tiktok that showed the illustrations in the story and i was so blown away by the fact someone would illustrate an entire fanfic that i just had to read it. and i have no regrets. it’s kinda long and a biiit wordy for me at times but holy shit that hit like a mother trucker. and i haven’t read dramione in ages, not since... years. so this really hit different.

the illustrations are beautiful. they’re what dragged me into the story in the first place, so, of course they are. but i’d literally spend minutes looking at every detail in amazement at how perfectly the emotions were captured and the lighting casting the perfect shadows and just… everything. i know nothing about drawing but my eyes were truly blessed.

i think integrating the handmaid’s tale with the hp world was ingenious. i would never have expected that. and wow. the relationship between the two, it’s…….. i can barely put it in words in my mind, and it’s even harder to articulate on paper. complex, but at the same time not, simply the desire for the other to stay alive. timeless. destructive. their only defense from the harsh reality of their situation. desperation at its most desperate, their one and only survival method. depressing. it’s so depressing. i was so sad, the angst almost too much at times.

the flashbacks were insanely intense. and i thought the handmaid section was bad. it was awful to read. i could hardly bear it, it was so dark at times i didn’t know how either of them got through it all. i mean, they barely did. the near-death scares, the constant need to create a blank slate within yourself in order to not overwhelm yourself with crushing emotions… wartime sometimes has a tendency to sound romantic, but theirs wasn’t anything near romantic, and i appreciate that the author chose to be very real about it.

at the beginning, and in the middle when we went through the flashbacks, i was afraid the love would be toxic. and, well, it kind of was at some points. but in a time like that and a situation like theirs, it would be hard to not have a toxic relationship. i was glad that in the end theirs was a good love, the kind that sustained and kept them alive and got them through until the very end, because it was what they needed from each other. and, of course, my favorite part of it all was draco’s ceaseless possessiveness that only seemed to grow, never fade. i love simpy men.

they deserve each other. i was afraid at the end they wouldn’t, that one of them would die—that draco would die because hermione basically did once already for him, so he would have to “return the favor”—also she was pregnant so there was no way she’d be the one to die—idk many theories. but at the end i’m so glad they both ended up alive. after everything, they deserved it.

i did nothing for two days straight but read this book. except eat. and barely sleep. and i have no regrets.

a 9/10.

***

bloodlines, richelle mead — dang. i used to be obsessed with vampire academy when i was in middle school. i even watched the terrible movie that released because of it. and now i can’t believe i really thought that was peak literature lmfaooooo

i remember adrian being such a funny and interesting character that i picked up bloodlines to see if it was gonna be as good as i remembered it was. i was disappointed. it was just... well let’s just say there wasn’t enough to get me invested in the characters as i used to be. i think what it was is that adrian’s characterization was so weak. he wasn’t as ~quirky~ as i remembered him to be haha. the plot was also way too slow-paced, and a little too easy to guess. maybe if i was 12 again i’d be going crazy over it like i used to. but i’m not a pre-teen anymore and my brain craves stuff along the lines of manacled—destruction, death, angst that wants me to pull my own heart out to stop it from hurting.

a 5/10.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #359

“i’m only a crack in this castle of glass  /  hardly anything there for you to see”

Do you look better with your hair down or up? It's too short to go up. Has you mom ever directly told you that she favoured your other sibling(s) over you? Yeesh, no. Have you ever read The Outsiders? Seen the movie? Read the book, seen the movie. Adore both. What’s your favourite drink from Jamba Juice? I don't think we have those here. Can you stand eating the crusts of a slice of sandwich bread? I don't mind the crust at all. Do you do your homework at home or in class? Prior to college, I did my work right after getting home to get it out of the way. In college, I did it in-between classes or when waiting for Mom to finish class. Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? Yes, I never do it. Do you get jealous if your boyfriend hugs another girl? I'm single, but hypothetically, I wouldn't... It's just a hug. At least for me, it's just a friendly gesture. Is there something that happened in your past you hate talking about? A few things, yes. Is it hard for you to be “just friends” with the opposite sex? Nah. If you had to choose, what color is your favorite? Baby pink. How many times have you dated the person you’re with now? I’m single. Has anyone suspected you of being a different sexuality? Yes. Do you like chocolate or vanilla cake more? Chocolate. Does it bother you to have blood drawn or not so much? Nah. What color is your toothbrush? It's a white electric one. Do you normally fall asleep fast or slow? Ridiculously slow. Have you ever had a severe allergic reaction? No. What do you want to be for Halloween this year? I'd love to dress up as like a Ms. Oogie Boogie and take some cool pictures, but I highly doubt it'll actually happen. What color are your glasses, if applicable? Black. Do you still look in the toy aisle, or do you pass it by? I walk past it. What are your summer fashion essentials? I don't have fashion essentials for any season. Do you have your own website? For my photography, yeah. Do you think you would be a good salesperson? Ha, no. I worked in retail before and I fucking sucked. Do you like candy corn? NO. Just colored wax, ugh. Do you like to wear skirts? I don't wear anything that shows my legs. Were you happy as a kid? Yeah. That, talkative, and hyper. Favorite store to browse but not really buy anything? Haha, I LOVE going on MorphMarket now and again to browse the ball pythons especially, but boy if I had the cash and space would I buy like fifty of them at once. I don't really know about a store I like browsing but not buying from. Skittles or Sour Patch Kids? Both are great, but I guess Sour Patch Kids. BUT, if you throw SOUR Skittles in there... then it's a war lol. If tattoos were free, how many would you have? A HELL OF A LOT. I wanna be just about totally painted. Do you wear a retainer at night? Not anymore. I had one, but I stopped using it. Are you afraid of dolls, puppets, or clowns? I'm not a doll person, particularly porcelain ones. When you’re in your room, do you keep the door locked? No. It's not even closed. Do you think your face is mostly symmetrical? Actually no, and I'm self-conscious about it. Stupidest thing you have ever said out loud? OH Christ, I'm not retrospecting on this. What’s your least favourite ice-cream flavour? That I've actually tried, strawberry. It's disgusting. What was the last good news you heard? I got approved for TMS therapy! Who was the last person to comment on your Facebook status? My friend Lyndsey. How did you meet him/her? World of Warcraft. She's actually my guild master, and she is the sweetest damn person. Have you ever learned any self-defense? If not, would you be interested in learning? I haven't, but yeah, I'd like to. When was the last time you took a nap? How long was it? Yesterday. For some reason, I actually slept a LONG time, like at least three, but probably close to four, hours. I mean I was tired, but I didn't feel THAT tired. Do you like Gushers? YAAAAAAAAAAS What would you do if you could do anything without failing? Actually get a degree for SOMETHING. What is your native language? English. Do you have a younger brother or sister? A younger sister. If so do/did they really get on your nerves? No. We were very close as kids, but we've drifted apart. Now, she absolutely doesn't get on my nerves. I'm so proud of her. Name something that happened to you that was completely unexpected. Uhhh I dunno. Do you judge people that have multiple piercings? Lol wtf? No. Do you watch the Olympics? No. What did you have for breakfast this morning? I had Kix cereal. Do you like orange juice? Yes. So long as it doesn't have pulp in it. Do you think it’s cruel to keep an animal in a cage while you’re away? It depends on the size of the cage as well as how long you're away. Do you have a pet gecko? No, but I'd love a fat-tailed gecko. Are you scared of reptiles? Not at all, I adore them. Is your car messy? I don't have my own car. Mom's kinda is, though. It needs a wash badly, but because of her bumper literally being zip-tied on, she doesn't trust going into a car wash. And neither of us are about to do it manually, lol. Have you ever seen the show 16 and Pregnant? No, fuck that show. Do you buy expensive clothes? No. Does death scare you? Not really. What are your current goals? Conquer my social anxiety, get a job, lose weight, do something to strengthen my legs... Those are the four biggies. Do you clap or cheer when at a concert? I did both at the one I've been to. Do you drink coffee? What brand? No. Do you use a comb or brush? A comb. When you were younger, did you ever do that exclamation point that looked like an upside down triangle and had a really big dot? No. I loved the cutesy girl handwriting though, haha. I just could never do it. You’re locked in a room with the person you last dated, any problems? Well yeah, we're locked in a room lmao. What kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed? It's perfectly fine, we're best friends. Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette? No. Do you get mad when people smoke around you? Yes. Honestly, have you ever eaten raw cookie dough? Yeah, more than once. When was the last time you were on a city bus? Never. Do you have a garden? Does it have flowers, vegetables, or both? No. Where do you want to raise your kids? Who said I even want kids? Have you ever been to Cracker Barrel? Yessssss, good shit. Have you ever seen a ghost? I think I have. Have you ever burned an ant with a magnifying glass? No. Have you ever been to craigslist.com? Yes. Have you ever used Nair? Yes, on my legs. It works, I just have stupidly hairy legs that need so much to get it all. How many tabs do you have open and what are they? Two YouTube tabs and then Tumblr. What browser do you prefer to use? Chrome. What room are you in right now? My bedroom. Are you excited for anything this month? 1.) I get my tattoo on the 19th, and 2.) I start TMS next Wednesday. What language course did you take in school, if any? I barely survived one semester of Latin, then I did all four available German courses. What language would you most like to learn? I'd love to improve my German. What would you like to get a degree in? Photography. What book are you reading, what genre is it and do you like it so far? Wings of Fire: The Brightest Night. It's young adult fantasy, I think. Did you ever sometimes flip through your text books even when you didn’t need to? Yeah, mainly to just look at pictures because I was that bored in class, haha. What types of magazines do you read? None. Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? Play a video game. What’s your current relationship like with the person you lost your virginity to and do you wish it was different? We don't have any relationship anymore. I don't regret losing it to him, if that's what you're asking. If you mean our relationship stance, it'd be nice to still be in touch with him, but I know it wouldn't be healthy for me. Have you ever felt responsible for someone’s death? Pets, yes. No humans. What was the last book you recommended to someone? Idk. What’s the most difficult thing you and your current or last significant other have gone through? Distance was very hard. What’s your best memory with your ex? I'm going to assume this refers to "the ex." In which case, we were "play arguing," and I came storming into the kitchen after him to make a point, and I slid mid-sentence, and he caught me. We just held each other laughing our asses off. It's the simple things, man. Who was the last person that asked to hang out with you and what’s the story of how you met that person? Summer. My little sister and her were in pre-k together and became friends, but I gradually became closer to her than Nicole did when we were teens. Has anyone ever asked you out and you turned them down? Yes. Is there something you generally always ask for help with? Yeah. Like recently I've been having apples and peanut butter a lot, and I ask my mom to cut the apple because I'm terrified of knives. Do you feel comfortable telling people how much you weigh? NOPE. Have you looked at any old photos of yourself lately? No. In a relationship, have you ever been on and off with your partner? No. Do you consider cooking to be an art? Yes. Are you a fast or slow reader? I'd say I read at a moderate pace. Does it take a lot to gross you out? It depends on what it is, but I am actually more squeamish than I used to be.

[gotatext]

                   hllo ! i’m nora ( she / her, 24, gmt ) crawling back to this rp once more like the dirty sewer slug i am !! i just can’t get enough, baybeyyy ! u may remember me frm such roles as alma putnam, rory bergstrom, bridget matusiak or greta o’driscoll 2 name jst a few.... sure there were more over these long years, bt the show must go on.... this is mimi, she’s dogmatic, tenacious n single-minded 2 the point of recklessness, she doesn’t like handouts n she’s funding her degree through her onlyfans account n moaning abt shit on tiktok. we love 2 see it !!  slam that like button n i’ll creep into ur DMs like the slippery worm i am   OR u can discord me at that bitch carole baskin#8664.   a humble pinterest.

『ALEXA DEMIE ❙ CIS-FEMALE 』 ⟿ looks like MIMI MARTÍNEZ is here for HER SOPHOMORE year as an ARCHITECTURE AND SOCIAL ANTHROPOLOGY student. SHE is 22 years old & known to be STRONG-WILLED, GOAL-ORIENTED, ARROGANT & EASILY BORED. They’re living in MORIS, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ nora. 24. gmt. she/her.

this is p embarassing but i actually originally wrote mimi for a discord rp based around love island asgjag dont laugh at me but it was so chaotic n someone deleted it w-out telling any of us so i lost her bio.... all her threads....e verythin.... it was mad. but anyway we startin from scratch w this intro so bare with

mimi is a really extra character so when trying to flesh her out i thot of the most extra thing i could do n made a colour coded mindmap with watercolour paints detailing her values, aesthetics and early life. shoot me

background: she grew up in a trailer home in boulder city, abt half an hour from vegas. her mom had worked in a vegas casino for most of her 20s but relocated to boulder city for a slower pace of life / lower crime rate when she started having kids. mimi has 2 older brothers n she’s the youngest. has that invulnerable younger sibling complex n basically thinks nothing can touch her. very confident in her own intelligence and her ability to get shit done 

has mexican ancestry on her mom’s side. doesn’t know her dad. was raised with spanish catholic principals n found it all very stained glass windows and extra n that’s why she was kinda drawn to the decadence of vegas and all these massively high key aesthetics, like dia de les muertos was her fave thing growin up just bcos the pure feel of the festival and painting a sugar skull on her face n being able to party on the streets in a flower crown where everyone was kinda anonymous but together in this celebration

in boulder city her mom worked as a carer as there’s a lot of retirees there. mimi really resented the slow pace of life, longed for some fucking energy n life. she was a cheerleader in school but outside of school there wsn’t much to do except practise stunts and go on bike rides.  occasionally they’d get dressed up and catch a bus to henderson, the next biggest city for them to get tht sweet night life

her teenage years consisted mostly of hanging around the renovated motel blocks used as housing projects n tanning by the pool. very florida project if you’ve seen that. she reminds me a lot of the mum in that. also she started working as an avon rep going door-to-door when she was 16 bcos she wanted to have her own income. like as young as 14 she’d decided she was smart enough to go to college but she didn’t have the money n her family didn’t really see it as a worthwhile thing, her mom was very like the mom from matilda “you chose books.... i chose looks!” which i think is where a lot of mimi’s more shallow / appearance-driven traits come from

wasn’t really ‘cool’ until high school. before that she was a bit of a lisa simpson type. won a spelling bee when she was 9. was in the mathletes squad in middle school. when she went from middle school to high school she started cheer and tried to reinvent herself basically. always been very concerned with social mobility and keen to socially climb, like when she enters a new situation she’ll find out who the alphas are and quickly try n befriend them

when she turned 18 she moved out and went to vegas despite her mom hating the idea bcos it was everything she’d tried to get her kids away from. she worked in the clubs there for several years as a shot girl, a table dancer, n eventually she started workin behind the bar in a strip club. in the club it ws really hard to resist becoming a dancer bcos of the sheer amount they made in tips. no one really pressured her into it she just eventually decided tht it was way more logical to do it while she was young n fit and had the stamina and ppl were willing to pay to see her body so she started taking pole fitness lessons. she also started working as a cam girl around this time

working in vegas strip clubs is basically whats paid for uni. like she didn’t go at 18 like most of her friends did bcos she didn’t have the money and she didn’t want to feel indebted to a college like she had to compete for her place and not put a toe out of line bcos she was on a scholarship. she was determined to pay her own way and it took 4 years of working really hard and saving n even tho she was working in vegas she basically never went out bcos every penny she had needed to go on uni n thts how we get to radcliffe baybeeyy

part 2  - interior / values / personality

values: the aesthetic !! literally loves the aesthetic so much. everything she owns is super embellished, she’s a pop socket gal, her dell laptop is covered in glitzy stickers, she always has acrylics n probs makes nail art videos on tiktok. really tuned into tiny details like painting a little hello kitty above her eye which translates into her degree when she’s doing small-scale mockups of town plans n stuff... she jst puts so much detail into them. ppl often get surprised when she tells them she does architecture but it makes so much sense bcos she grew up in a trailer park n was always thinking about ways the space could be more efficiently used, like she loves re-conceptualising neighbourhoods, definitely spent hours on sims as a kid. she also grew up near hoover dam n so loads of school trips they just took them there n she was like.... this is tight but it could be cooler.... where’s the passion....

massively into photography, has such a neat instagram feed like everything just compliments the tones in the next post like mMMM. idk if any of u know any architecture students but this is literally the one constant i can find…. like they all have super good instagrams feeds. is that bitch that will take 40 fake candids of u in a row at different angles to get u the perfect profile picture cos she understands the importance of marketing urself and having an online #brand

has wire rimmed glasses that she doesn’t need to see BUT they r like a magnifying glass for when she’s working with really small materials to do a mock up of an urban plan, and also just sometimes wears them for the aesthetic bc she’s such a pinterest bitch

assassination nation is such a big mood. literally the aesthetics of that and lily colson’s whole brand of feminism and nudity not being inherently sexual but at the same time wanting to profit off that bcos why the fuck shouldnt she use a corrupt system to her advantage is incredibly mimi

literally a human personification of a bratz doll both in attitude and fashion sense

somehow simultaneously gansey in the raven cycle AND elle woods in legally blonde? the two genders 

values cont bc i started rambling: her independence and freedom. being the best at any given task she sets her mind to accomplish because she is unable to accept failure. social mobility. sexual liberation. interested in the psychology of sub-cultures and how ppl form groups and interact w each other and cult identities which is why she minors in anthropology. pro-choice. pro-weed legalisation. pro-sex worker rights. very activist.

aesthetics tht remind me of her: von dutch. a strappy cami top that says ‘please do not do coke in the bathroom’. low-waisted jeans that show off her belly button piercing. acrylic nails tapping against a heavily embellished second-hand dell laptop. heart shaped sunglasses in every colour. translucent stripper heels with barbie doll heads and plastic spiders in the heel. spraying champagne you cant afford all over the walls. narcotics in a heart shaped locket. an amazon wishlist full of lingerie linked on your tinder profile. sex tapes recorded on VCR. a religious devotion to waxing clinics. necking shots like you were born to do it.

she’s an enfj type which makes her pretty charismatic and confidence, like she has a fierce kind of energy to her, but she’s also super unwilling to accept criticism, dogmatic and can only really see her own way of thinking, quite ruthless when it comes 2 other ppls emotions despite having a poor control of her own and being prone to turbulence / throwin a bitch fit in the craft lab. easily bored. competitive. self-assured to the point of arrogance. forceful. adaptable. usually more rational than emotional but occasionally loses the ability to make rational decisions when blinded by a need for perfectionism.

very goal-oriented. money motivates her. money and clothes. she wants to look bomb while earning big bucks. when she gets her mind set on a project it literally consumes her she will forget to eat and sleep? i don’t know her.  like when a final design project is due for architecture she’ll be up all night doing adderall and speed to keep her awake working on the placement of a single tree for ages cos its gotta be perfect

loves chaos. will spill your secrets and pretend it was an accident. will always be that gif of kim kardashian sipping her tea while drama unfolds around her. lives for the drama like that gifset of bratz when she comes running and gets her phone out to record a fight.

im makin her sound like a really bad person but hopefully she’ll be somewhat likeable she can be very charismatic and endearing and she’s naturally quite funny. also now she’s finally in college and doesn’t have to worry so much about money she actually allows herself to party n bcos she denied herself of it for so long she kinda makes up for it by going p wild like will be the girl climbing on to stage to crowd surf at gigs or doing a summersault off the bar and being escorted out by bouncers, thats the energy were looking at, pure dionysian hedonistic impulse

really gd at talking her way out of shit like parking fines. so good at being an ‘im baby’ girl and often dumbs herself down to figures of authority to appear less like a threatening ball-breaker and more like a confused fiat 500 girl who didn’t know red meant stop she thought it meant slow down

listens almost exclusively to female artists. has fergalicious on repeat when she does squats infront of the mirror n just the biggest fergie stan. also lana del rey’s whole vibe is massive mimi energy

ok ya thats all i have for now..... hopefully this is somewhat coherent and not just garbage.

[void-official]

Sarazanmai! was a fun anime with a lots of emotionally resonant moments and even more dumb potty humor but would I say its Ikuhara’s best anime? probably nah BUTT we’ll see how it ages. And I mean!! I really did like it and it’s worth a watch if you share general taste with me, but what I liked most about it and what I think it offers most above his other stuff is that it felt condensed and fast-paced in a way that made it very watchable and entertaining for someone with a short attention span like me. compared to like, a 24 episode anime where the themes are more carefully paced and constructed and might be harder to just dive into watching. I often drop shows by the third episode even if I think i’m gonna like them, bc i just don’t always have the energy to watch more than one season of something. Even the best anime tend to have slow arcs or bad episodes, and Sarazanmai just didn’t seem to have time for that, or I didn’t notice them bc there was just too much going on at any given point for me to ever feel bored by it.

Does that + the constant slapstick make it less emotionally resonant than Utena or YuriBears or Penguin Drum? Maybe? But that would be sorta assuming those things were absent from those shows, which they definitely weren't, and at least in Sarazanmai its tonally there for practically the entire time, whether you want it there or not, so its feels less jarring than Nanami getting turned into a cow episodes or the 3 cartoon penguins doing human things in the background of a show that otherwise feels like a child’s interpretation of Film Noir. I at least had a decent emotional reaction to Sarazanmai, all things considered, but I’m aware some people don’t really enjoy mood whiplash and might find it distasteful that you can literally have Butt Jokes and Plot Progression taking place within the exact same frame. comparatively its a lot like. having silly dumb goofy Sidekicks piping in with their weirdness during serious moments of a Disney film, but I mostly found it entertaining bc i wasn’t exactly. watching with the expectation of it being 100% serious anyway. Like after the first episode you already have a good feel for how this show will be. The themes here were pretty simplistic and easy to grasp, a lot of the meta stuff is embellishment and not necessary to enjoying the show’s basic plotline and even then its fucking silly and lighthearted in its approach most of the time in a way even haters of Ikuhara’s heavy handed ~symbolism~ might be able to tolerate due to its utter like. irreverence towards it? The fucking otter that is an abstract concept who keeps reminding you that its an abstract concept is the clearest example I have. It’s literally feels like someone appending ~It’s Symbolic~ to a shitpost in execution and I lost it nearly every time it happened.

I guess like, people have this association w/Ikuhara shows that he’s always trying to be like SUPER DEEP and make complicated, difficult to understand stories. Hes High Art, using anime as a medium or whatever. But even if elements of this are like that, and I can appreciate it that way/want to re-watch to see what more I get out of it next time, I don’t think Sarazanmai necessarily wants to be seen as #Deep to the average viewer or expects you to need to engage with it that way, and that’s why i say its very Watchable. Honestly I laughed more than I cried white it was airing bc Sarazanmai basically just throws so much shit at you at once, sometimes its metaphorical shit, sometimes its deep shit, but mostly its just Literal shit butt balls. and you kinda just have to deal with it as it comes. its actually going above and beyond to make itself accessible to the point im sure some people might find it low brow, ridiculous or distasteful as a result. Also it might make you uncomfortable if you can’t stomach the mild sexual themes involving teenagers but I’d argue its literally the tamest example of it out of literally any Ikuhara anime to date, sexual themes involving teenagers have literally always been there in his work and imo despite Sarazanmai being like. a butt joke anime where teenage boys transform into kappas to probe peoples butts to free them of their worldly desires every night its utilized in a far less uncomfortable way than like literally anything else he’s been involved with (and I’m one of those people who argues the sexual themes 100% are necessary to his work bc they’re often about the end of adolescence and the different types of love you can feel for a person. and showing where the line is crossed between different types of love and particularly when love becomes toxic or abusive is integral to those themes) I mean there are lots of things I could ‘warn’ for but its all the kind  of stuff you’d find in literally any other Ikuhara show. Do you like Ikuhara’s other stuff? Congrats you’ll probably like Sarazanmai. Does Utena transforming into a car at the end of the Utena movie send you into a blind rage bc WHAT DOES IT MEAN? Probably dont watch Sarazanmai. Would I recommend it as your first Ikuhara show? Idk Maybe? Like I personally still think Utena and Penguin Drum are better but I think Sarazanmai is maybe more watchable if you just want to get your mind fucked and also potentially laugh/cry a lot in as few episodes as possible

[diamondcitydarlin]

okay been thinking about how I would’ve written a more general Varric romance into DA:I, which was the original goal of my story here but it became more specific to him and my character so here’s how I would’ve set it up for anyone, had I been given the honor of doing so. Which never would’ve happened. But my husband now works in the video game industry SO YOU NEVER KNOW. HMU EA or Bioware or whoever handles that now. Anyway here’s my pitch, PART 1 (I haven’t planned the rest out yet, bear with me):

1. Flirt options, obviously, just after the first cutscene convo at Haven. To these Varric will generally humor the Inquisitor and flirt back because at the earliest point it’s harmless fun. Maybe some dialogue like,

Inquisitor: Do you always leave your chest exposed during battle? Seems dangerous. 

Varric: Sure. You see it, kinda hard to contain, so I don’t bother.

Inquisitor: Oh, I’m not complaining, just making sure what’s eye candy for the rest of us isn’t a death sentence for you.

Varric: I’ve come this far, haven’t I? Gaze to your heart’s content, my ego feeds on it. 

And/or maybe when he mentions he’s written a romance series;

Inquisitor: So...bodice-ripper, smut pieces, then? 

Varric: Not all of it, but yeah, you could say things get a little heated in parts. 

Inquisitor: Do you...write from experience? 

Varric: Well, you know what they say, write what you know...which I rarely do, but when it comes to heaving bosoms and all of that it seems only appropriate. 

Inquisitor: I’ll definitely have to give Swords and Shields a try then.  

Varric: Try one of my better sellers before you do. Not saying the writing is much better, but I’d rather have Hard in Hightown be the first impression. 

Maybe more, but you get the idea. The flirting is just kind of fun and easy at that point, but I’m thinking things should ramp up a bit at Skyhold if the player is keen to pursue. I think at this point there’d be a dialogue option during the first encounter at Skyhold, maybe something like;

Inquisitor: I’m glad we all made it out of there in one piece...you especially. 

Varric: Why me especially? I’m probably the most useless addition to this rag-tag band of misfits. 

Inquisitor: I enjoy your company./You make me laugh, that’s just as important as anything else./ (backing out) Yeah...now that I think about it, maybe you’re right. 

Varric: -laughs- I’m glad to hear someone does./ -teasing- Why not try a court jester then?/ Whoa...didn’t need to own that so quickly. I’m an extra pair of hands with a good crossbow, let’s not forget. 

Inquisitor: (continuing the laugh dialogue option) I can get you a jingly hat if it makes you feel more at home.

Varric: (continuing the laugh dialogue option) It might. I’m gonna hold you to that. 

Varric continues to deflect with humor a bit at this point, but I think there’ll still be flirtation options in the meanwhile, like maybe at his greeting of, “Did you need something or did you just come to admire the Dwarf?” which might only be accessible if you had been flirting successfully with him to this point the Inquisitor could have the option to say, “Maybe a little bit of both.” 

Things more or less stay as they are until the ‘Well, Shit’ quest pops up along with the infamous Bianca. An Inquisitor that has been pursuing to this point could get some extra dialogue options in the course of things. I’m thinking especially at the end where something could be said in the cut scene like,

Inquisitor: You deserve better, Varric. 

Varric: Do I though? 

Inquisitor: I think so. And I don’t speak just out of personal interest. 

Varric:....shit. That makes things a lot more complicated. Maybe not a bad complicated, but...I don’t know. I guess I thought we were joking around, if I knew it was more than that for you-...

Inquisitor: Isn’t it for you? We’ve been through a lot together already.

Varric: I’m not saying it isn’t. There’s no bluff to call here, I like you...okay, I like you a lot, but shit’s complicated. You’ve got the end of the world to think about and I’m obviously a mess. Bianca and I have been going around in these circles forever, I wouldn’t really know how to put a stop to it. I’m still not sure I want to. But yes, since you’re asking, the feeling is probably mutual. I just don’t know what’s the right thing to do here. 

Inquisitor: Maybe you’ll have to make a choice. A difficult one, but we’re all doing that, aren’t we? /  If it really is the end of the world then we only have today. Maybe we should make the most of it instead of thinking so hard about a future that may or may not come. / (backing out) You’re probably right, there’s too much in the way. 

Varric: (to the first two choices) Yeah...it’s tough to admit, but you’re right. / If it’s any consolation, I am sorry. If things were different...well, who knows? I’m glad you understand and, for what it’s worth, I really enjoy being your friend. Maybe, at least for now, that’s enough. 

Varric: (to the first two choices) Listen, I have a lot to think about right now, but...I’ll try not to keep you waiting too long for an answer. 

So, some time goes by. Things would be set up so that ‘Well, Shit’ would happen before the Winter Palace quest, so if the first two dialogue options were chosen and the romance not shut down, in true love-interest fashion Varric would join you on the balcony after everything, after Morrigan sashays away. Dialogue could go something like this;

Varric: Some party, huh? I was almost glad for the venatori, that shit I can handle. 

There would be options here to deflect with other subjects, like about the Inquisitor’s choices, etc, but I’ll just follow through with the positive romance stuff here

Inquisitor: Are we...going to have the talk? 

Varric: -sighs- Yeah. I said I wouldn’t keep you waiting, hopefully it wasn’t too long. I...wrote Bianca. Not so much because I’m convinced I deserve better, but after the shit at Valammar...I don’t know. I can’t risk Inquisition secrets and Thedas’ security and your time for her. Not if I’m going to be here for the foreseeable future. 

Inquisitor: I appreciate that. Any...other reason? 

Varric: -coughs out a nervous laugh- I’m not...really good at this sort of thing. Maybe that’s why my romance serials bombed so hard. You know how I feel, I just...don’t know about jumping from one thing into another so fast. 

Inquisitor: So, you’re asking for space and time to figure it out? 

Varric: We only have so much of that...but yeah, if I can be so selfish. Maybe we can just take things slow and see where it goes? 

You’ll have the option here of course to be like ‘that doesn’t work for me’ and put an end to it, but as I’m writing the positive stuff,

Inquisitor: Slow and steady...works for me./ Whatever you need, I’ll go at your pace. 

Varric: Glad to hear it. I do really want to see where this goes. 

He’ll then look back at the ballroom and get an idea, to which he’ll offer,

Varric: A dance seems as good a start as any, and since we’re here...

Inquisitor: I’d like that. / I’m not much of a dancer, but since you’re the one offering...

Varric: Let’s uh...let’s keep it out here though. I’ve been trying to make myself scarce from the Merchants Guild.

(Player and Varric come together for a dance)

Inquisitor: I think you’re afraid you’ll make a fool of yourself in front of the Orlesians. 

Varric:...there is that. 

Some more time will pass, The Wicked Grace game will be slated to come after the Winter Palace quest (tho not much farther in the future since the main plot accelerates pretty quickly). Maybe just to be cute in the meantime your traveling group might occasionally tease you about what’s going on with you and Varric, idk something like that. Anyway, he invites you to a game of Wicked Grace and the whole cut scene there is basically the same until the end, after everyone leaves and you get some extra dialogue options;

Varric: The night’s still young, we could try to play another round, or...

Inquisitor: Or...?

Varric: I...don’t know how to suggest it tactfully, but I figure since we’re exploring this whole thing, and if you’re keen...maybe we could spend some time together, just you and me?

The Inquisitor can then suggest they go ahead with another game OR they can get DOWN TO BUSINESS. The latter of which is what I will write;

Inquisitor: Are you sure...? It’s a big step. 

Varric: Yeah. We trust each other, don’t we? Some big steps will have to be taken eventually if we’re going to feel our way through this. 

Inquisitor: (seductively) Then what are we waiting for? I’ll meet you in my quarters. / LAST ONE TO MY QUARTERS IS A ROTTEN EGG. (zooms off)

(cue scene of drunk Sera under the table before cutting to sexy tiems, etc)

Scene will open on Varric and Inquisitor having a heated make out in front of the fire in their room. THEDAS LOVE THEME PLAYS BECAUSE OF COURSE. 

Varric: (breaking away for a second) If I’d known it’d be this good I would’ve been kissing you first thing at the Temple. I kinda wanted to, after you pointed out Bianca. I always hope my bow will be the first thing people notice about me. 

Inquisitor: Is that what you think I noticed first? Not, y’know...this chest? 

Varric: I give, it’s hard to miss.

(MORE KISSING EEE...before he breaks away again)

Varric: I have to be honest for a second though...after this, I don’t know if I can go back to how things were. I understand that now. I’m in too deep with you. This can’t just be a one-off.

Again, the player will have a chance to back out at this point, but if they go ahead this will be the definitive relationship moment. 

Inquisitor: I don’t intend for it to be. 

Varric: Good...then we’re on the same page.  

Varric rolls on top of the Inquisitor as make out increases and the sound of clothes shuffling can be heard, but close up fade-out on the fire unfortunately because this isn’t a PR0N GAME OK.

Player wakes up the next morning to find Varric writing letters or doing some kind of work at the nearby desk. 

Inquisitor: I’m not that boring, am I? / I have something more exciting than ink and quill over here, if you’re interested. / What, no breakfast?

Varric: (looking up from his work) -teasing- When you’re asleep? Yeah, maybe a little, unless you want me to just stare creepily at you and wait for you to stir. / You know I am. / Joke’s on you, I already sent down for it. Just wasn’t sure when you were going to get your ass up. 

He comes over to join the Inquisitor on the makeshift bed/pile of blankets in front of the fire. Inquisitor sits up and they share a lingering kiss. 

Inquisitor: Did you mean what you said last night? 

Varric: I wouldn’t say something like that for shits and giggles. I know it puts everything in fast motion, maybe faster than we planned, but...with you, it’s different. I’m willing to dive into this head first. 

Inquisitor: I’ll try to make it worth the risk then. 

(They kiss some more until a foreign cough interrupts them. The advisors are there because I find that trope way too funny. Cullen has his eyes covered lmao)

Leiliana: (hiding her amusement from the stairwell) Apologies, we should have knocked. 

Inquisitor: Ideally. 

Josephine: (uncomfortable) Perhaps we should come back later...?

Varric: Well, you can go or you can stay, but I don’t think we were planning to stop, so-

(Josephine ushers the other two quickly back towards the staircase) 

Josephine: Yes, yes, later then! Knocking in future, will make a note of that. 

(Amused, Varric and Inquisitor continue to kiss and maybe suggestion of something MORE before fade-out)

TO BE CONTINUED ONCE I FIGURE OUT THE REST 

[rat-apologist]

A Semi-In depth Review of Anna Todd’s After

So I’ve been seeing the trailer for the movie adaptation of this book every five seconds on my Instagram feed, and as a proud dyslexic unwilling to sit down and read it, I listened to the audiobook.

Again, these are all my opinions, if you don’t agree that’s okay.

Here is a quick, spoiler free plot synopsis for those who want/need it: Being moved from Wattpad into the real world of publishing, After follows a girl named Tessa, who simultaneously has the mentality of a five year old and an old man from the 1800’s. She is eighteen years old and is going to college to be an English major. Tessa loves control, planning, and books. She's an introvert at heart, and “not like other girls” (i.e. dresses conservatively, is a virgin (the books words, not mine)). She has a shitty mom and a nice, preppy, boyfriend who is still in high school, and her life is completely planned out. That’s all turned upside down when the poster child for emotional abuse named Harden (harry styles) waltzes into her life during a frat party her first week of college. Your typical Wattpad/teen movie drama ensues.

(the actual review under the cut)

This review is chock full of spoilers for Anna Todd’s book After. If you want a good idea of what I thought about this book without any spoilers I’ll just say this: I can really honestly say I was never bored while listening to this book. However, that is not necessarily a good thing. Often times I was just too much in awe of the clunky writing and truly evil supposedly “redeemable” characters to be bored. On a one to five star scale, I’d probably give it a two. More on that later.

Here are the things I liked:

(this one is only applicable to the audiobook) the narrator was amazing, her voice acting was very appropriate (though she did tend to drop accents sometimes- but that is forgiven because of how otherwise amazing her line delivery was- especially considering the quality of the dialogue).

Landon and Dakota were my favorite characters, and even though they had no personalities beyond what they meant to Tess and how they interacted with Harden (Hardin? Again, I listened to the audiobook I’ve got no idea how to spell that lmao) they still made the book better to listen to.

Despite the repetition of plot/narrative structures I can happily say again that I was never really bored.

Okay moving on to more mixed-bag feelings:

So the last chapter was from Harden’s perspective, and I thought that was an interesting idea. Learning what one character thinks, especially since our protagonist is, how you say, a little bad at reading/interacting with other human people. However the execution left something to be desired for me. It quite literally was just the exact same scene we just saw from the previous chapter, but from Hardens perspective instead of Tess’s. Which was just ended up being unnecessarily repetitive at times.

I liked how Tessa tried to be less judgmental throughout the book, however her growth is very, very limited.

I liked the fact that they mentioned they used condoms in pretty much every sex scene, and that most of the time clear verbal consent/clear nonverbal consent was given for the sexual stuff. That does not happen often in books, especially in fan fiction from what I understand.

I like that Tess does stand up for herself, while I could sometimes see myself comparing her to Bella Swan considering how much of her personality does kind of revolve around her relationship with Harden, she certainly was more vocal about her feelings. And boy, did she have a lot of feelings.

Moving on to the things I didn’t like, this is probably going to be a mix on writing, characters, and plot points so bear with me. (I’m saving my many thoughts on the twist for last)

Okay so a big number one is the biggest plot driver, the love story. So, I feel like it goes without saying, but the main relationship is SUPER unhealthy. Harden constantly stalks, manipulates, and bullies Tess throughout the whole book. He is pretty much abusive, using her caring for him to his own advantage and then dropping her when it suits him. Plus his hyper-sexualization of her “virtue” is really really nasty. Tess pretty much cries in every interaction they have together, and even acknowledges how toxic their relationship is, and yet I’m supposed to root for them? Hmm… I don’t think so

The near constant slut shaming and girl hate in this book bothers me, especially when it’s mixed with the hints of “I’m not like other girls” from Tess

The character descriptions kinda weird me out considering how much Harden is described like Harry Styles, like literally a tumblr punk edit of Harry Styles

The dialogue is… bad. To all the writers out there (myself included) make sure you read your dialogue out loud to see if it sounds natural, that way if your Wattpad fanfiction ever does get published, and your book is adapted into audiobook, you’ll avoid a situation like this one. Because, especially listening to it, the dialogue in this book is really really bad. Honest to god it sounds like robots imitating humans are talking to each other, only they’re trying to convince the other robots that they are humans. For some reason Anna Todd avoided using contractions for most of the book, making the characters sound unnatural and completely out of their predefined characters. Why would these college students not use words like “it’s” “we’ll” and “we’re”? It is truly astonishing, and it makes the few uses of contractions really distracting. Normally I don’t give a shit about grammar since I don’t really understand grammar, and normally grammatical errors aren’t that obvious when listening on audio, but the dialogue was seriously that bad.

The pacing was bad, that’s kinda all I have to say. It was generally too quick during plot development but then took a screeching halt for each fight/sex scene (of which there are many)

The repetition of certain words/phrases really got annoying. Everyone's always screaming, biting on their lip, or smirking. Harden is rude, as Tessa mentioned about eight million times, and Tessa finds his dirty talk arousing. We know this, because Todd uses those phrases about a billion times a chapter.

The sex scenes kind of grossed me out. I’m (in general) fine with sex, but the way the sex scenes were written seriously ucked me out. These college kids avoid using words like “penis” “dick” “pussy” etc. and use really really juvenile words like “down there” and “length”. Maybe this is a fanfiction thing, and I’ll admit that I have not read essentially any fanfiction, but it is truly a disturbing way to write sex. Especially since Tessa is written to have the experience and understanding of sex as like a child, not even understand what an orgasm is and unwilling to say words like penis or vagina, something our loverboy Harden is super attracted to, by the by.

I hate that this book uses “girl almost gets assaulted so man can come in and valiantly protect her” trope. It is super gross and I hate it. That’s kind of all I can say, the use of women's pain so that men can get some amount of redemption is awful.

More on Harden: I am sick of the “violent, broken man that I promise I can fix!” trope. It is used to justify and excuse abuse and I hate it. Tess is honestly scared of him several times in the book and it’s played as a personality quirk of his? Like everyone just accepts that’s how he is? I know for the most part we aren’t supposed to “like” him for the first part of the book, but it’s obvious that the author wants us to root for him and Tessa in some capacity. Especially with the inclusion of his perspective at the end, which in a way is exactly the kind of manipulation that he is into so idk. Also he is possessive despite the fact that they weren’t dating, and he is very clear he does not date. That’s already abuse, but of course there is more. On top of that he is cruel, and pretty stuck-up throughout the book- making him pretty much insufferable to me. And all of this shit just gets worse once the twist is introduced, and no amount of his whining from his chapter could at all change that.

The rest of the characters are all either boring, or the worst people you could ever meet. Tess’s mom, Molly, Jace, all really terrible to offset the horror of Harden. To almost justify what he does- because comparatively he doesn’t seem as bad (up until the twist).

The twist. Dear god the twist. So, as it goes it isn’t an extremely inspired twist. I’ve seen it done before in a similar way (I’m looking at you, Ten Things I Hate About You). For those who are wondering: the big twist is that Harden only really pursued Tess in the beginning because after she revealed she is a virgin at a party early on in the book he makes a pricey bet with Zed (another side character only used to add ~drama~ to Tessa and Harden’s relationship) to see who can take her virginity. All of the subsequent bullying, possessiveness, manipulation, etc. were all a ploy to have sex with her before Zed could. I feel like it goes without saying that that’s disgusting, but let me tell you exactly why: at least if he was actually interested in her at first his weird behavior could possibly be passed off as hormones (I wouldn’t like it, but I’d understand it  more if you’d try to make that argument), but the fact that it was all for a bet not only makes his disgusting actions worse, but makes the fact that he supposedly falls in love with her so much more annoying. Plus, the fact that he literally tries to trap Tessa in a lease so she can’t leave him, and tries to bribe his friends into silence really shows how little he actually cares about Tessa and her thoughts and feelings.  

So, why two stars? Honestly, because I was entertained (for lack of a better word) by this book. Maybe if I actually read it and not just listened to the audiobook it my rating would be lower, maybe if there was just one more sex scene to slow down the pace I would have been more bored. Who knows, but I was entertained. Sometimes by how terrible the dialogue is, by how astonishing the characters decisions were, sometimes by the actual plot. It’s like watching a shitty soap opera, it’s not good by any means, but it certainly keeps your attention.

[dillydedalus]

what i read in july

THAT’S MORE LIKE IT aka i’m finally out of the (relative) reading slump for good & my bro james joyce was there

men explain things to me, rebecca solnit the original mansplaining essay is great, and still scarily relevant; the others in this collection (most on feminist issues) are also quite good; some aspects are a bit dated & problematic so be aware of that. 2.5/5

erschlagt die armen!, shumona sinha (tr. from french, not available in english) short but very impactful novella about a young french woman, originally from india, who works as an interpreter in the asylum system and becomes more & more broken by this system of inhumane bureaucracy and suffering, until she snaps and hits a migrant over the head with a wine bottle. full of alienation and misery and beautiful but disturbing language - the title translates to ‘beat the poor to death’ so like. yeah. 3.5/5

fire & blood: a history of the targaryen family I, george r r martin look, it’s a 700-page-long fake history book about a fictional ruling dynasty in a fictional world, and i’m just That Obsessed & Desperate about asoiaf (and i don’t even care about the targs That Much). anyway, now i know more about the targs than any ruling family from, you know, real history, which is like, whatever. this is pretty enjoyable if you are That Obsessed, although i will say that some bits are much better than others (there are some dry dull years even in everyone’s fav overly dramatic dragon-riding incest-loving family) and the misogyny really is. a lot. too much. way too much. BUT i did really like Good Best Queen Alysanne (her husband king joe harris is alright too i guess) and i found my new westerosi otp, cregan stark/aly blackwood, who both have Big Dick Energy off the fucking charts. 3.5/5 (+0.5 points for cregan and aly’s combined BDE)

the old drift, namwali serpell hugely ambitious sprawling postcolonial nation-building novel about zambia, told thru three generations of three families, as well as a chorus of mosquitoes (consistently the best & smartest parts). there is A LOT going on, in terms of characters, of plot points, of references to history (the zambian space programme) and literature (finally my knowledge of heart of darkness paid off) and thematically, and honestly it was a bit too much, a bit too tangled & fragmented & drifty, and in the end i probably admire this book more than i liked it, but serpell’s writing is incredibly smart and funny and full of electrical sparks 3.5/5

a severed head, iris murdoch the original love dodecahedron (not that i counted). iris murdoch is fucking WILD and i love her for it. this is a strange darkly funny little farce about some rich well-educated londoners and their bizarre & rather convoluted love lives. not as grandiosely wild as the sea the sea, but fun nevertheless. 3/5

midnight in chernobyl, adam higginbotham jumping on the hype bandwagon caused by the hbo series (very weird to call the current fascination with chernobyl a hype bandwagon but you know). interesting & well-written & accessible (tho the science is still totally beyond me) & gets you to care about the people involved. lots of human failure, lots of human greatness, set against the background of the almost eldritch threat of radioactivity (look up the elephant foot & see if you don’t get chills), and acute radiation syndrome which is THE MOST TERRIFYING THING ON EARTH . 3.5/5

normal people, sally rooney honestly this is incredibly engrossing & absorbing once you get used to how rooney completely ignores ‘show don’t tell’ (it works!), i pretty much read the whole thing in one slow workday (boss makes a dollar, i make a dime so i read books on my phone on company time, also i genuinely had nothing to do). i also think rooney is really good at precisely capturing the ~millenial experience in a way that feels very true, especially the transition from school to uni. BUT i really disliked the ending, the book never engages with the political themes it introduces (esp. class and gender) as deeply as it could and the bdsm stuff never really gets TIED UP LOL. so overall idk: 3.5/5

störfall: nachrichten eines tages, christa wolf quiet reflective undramatic little book narrated by a woman waiting to hear about the outcome of her brother’s brain surgery on the day of the catastrophe at chernobyl - throughout the day she puts down her thoughts about her brother and the events unfolding at chernobyl, as well as the double uncertainty she is trying to cope with. really interesting to read such an immediate reaction to chernobyl (the book came out less than a year after chernobyl). 2.5/5

the man in the high castle, philip k dick it was fine? quick & entertaining alternative history where the axis powers win the war, some interesting bits of worldbuilding (like the draining of the mediterranean which was apparently a real idea in the early 20th century?) but overall it’s just felt a bit disjointed & unsatisfying to me. 2.5/5

fugitive pieces, anne michaels very poetic & thoughtful novel about the holocaust, grief, remembrance & the difference between history and memory, intergenerational trauma, love, geology and the weather. i’m not sure how much this comes together as a novel, but it is absolutely beautifully written (the author is a poet as well) and very affective. 3.5/5

american innovations, rivka galchen short collection of bizarre & often funny short stories about neurotic women whose furniture flies away, or who grow an extra breast, or who are maybe too occupied with financial details. very vague & very precise at once, which seems to be the thing with these sort of collections. 3/5

fool’s assassin (fitz & the fool #1), robin hobb YAASS i’m back in the realm of the elderlings!!! i thought this was one of the weaker installments in the series - i still enjoyed it a lot, and Feelings were had, but it just doesn’t quite fit together pacing-wise & some of the characterisation struck me as off (can i get some nuance for shun & lant please?) and tbh fitz is at peak Selfcentred Dumbass Levels & it drove me up the fucking wall. molly, nettle & bee deserve better. still, completely HYPE for the rest of the trilogy. 3.5/5

JAMES JOYCE JULY

note: i decided not to read dubliners bc it’s my least fav of joyce’s major works & too bleak & repetitive for my mood right now AND while i planned not to reread finnegans wake bc……. it’s finnegans wake…. i kinda do want to read it now (but i also. really don’t.) so idk yet.

a portrait of the artist as a young man, james joyce y’all. i read this book at least once a year between the ages of 15 and 19, it’s beyond formative, it is burnt into my brain, and reading it now several years later it is still everything, soaring and searing (that searing clarity of truth, thanks burgess) and poetic and dirty, and stephen is baby, and a pretentious self-important little prick and i love him & i am him (or was him as only a pretentious self-important teenage girl reading joyce can be him - because this truly is a book that should be read in your late teens when you feel everything as intensely and world-endingly and severely as my boy stephen does and every new experience feels like the world changing). anyway i love this book & i love stephen dedalus, bird-like, hawk-like, knife-blade, aloof, alienated, severe and stern, a poet-priest-prophet if he could ever get over himself, baby baby baby. 5/5

exiles, james joyce well. there’s a reason joyce is known as a novelist. this is….. a failed experiment, maybe. a fairly boring play about an adulterous love-square and uh… love beyond morality and possession maybe??? about how much it would suck for joyce to return to ireland??? and tbh it’s not terribly interesting. 2/5

travesties, tom stoppard a wild funny irreverent & smart antic comedy inspired by the fact that during ww1, james joyce, lenin, and dadaist tristan tzara were all in neutral zurich, more or less simultaneously; they probably never met, but in this play they do, as dadaist poetry, socialist art critique, and a james joyce high on his own genius & in desperate need of some cash while writing ulysses, AND the importance of being earnest (joyce is putting on a production of it) all collide in the memories of henry carr, who played algernon & later sued joyce over money (tru facts). not my fav stoppard (that’s arcadia) but it’s funny & fizzy & smart & combines many many things that i love. 4/5 

ulysses, james joyce look i’m not really going to tell y’all anything new about ulysses, but it really has everything, it’s warm & human(e) & cerebral & difficult & funny & sad & healing & i always get a lot out of it even tho there’s bits (a lot of them) i’ll never wrap my head around. ultimate affirmation of humanity or whatever. also stephen dedalus is baby. 5/5

dedalus, chris mccabe the fact that this book (sequel to ulysses about what stephen dedalus might have done the next day) exists and was published ON MY BIRTHDAY is proof that the universe loves me. 

anyway this is very very good, very very clever, extremely good at stephen (less good at bloom but his parts are still good), engages w/ ulysses, portrait & hamlet (& others) very cleverly & does some cool meta and experimental shit. y’all it has stephen talking to a contemporary therapist about how he’s stuck in joyce’s text which is all about joyce & very little about whoever stephen is when he’s not joyce’s alter ego/affectionate but slightly amused look at younger self and ithaca is an interview w/ the author about how his relationship to his dad influenced his response to ulysses and I’M INTO IT. the oxen of the sun chapter replaces the whole ‘gestation of english prose’ w/ just slightly rewriting the first pages of about 10 novels published between ulysses and now & it does lolita w/ “bloom, thorn of stephen’s sleep, light in his eyes. his sire, his son’ and i lit. screamed. anyway i don’t want to give this 5 stars (yet) bc i think some of the experimental stuff ended up a bit gimmicky & didn’t add that much to the text but fuck. that’s my boy & i want to reread it right now. 4.5/5 ALSO it’s a crime no literary weirdo woman has written ‘a portrait of the artist’s sister’ about delia ‘dilly’ dedalus, shadow of stephen’s mind, quick far & daring, teaching herself french from a 3rd hand primer while her father drinks the nonexistent family fortune away and her older brother is getting drunk on a beach & starting fights w/ soldiers bc he’s a smartarse

[idkwhatawritingblogis]

nsfw alphabet meme; kayla

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex) giggly. like she will have sex and end up giggling afterwards and yes, some men are not okay with that, but it's just how she is. that afterglow banging feeling just leaves her feeling happy and giggly. 

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) she loves her legs and her butt. like. she knows she's a lil thicc and she loves it. and she doesn't actually have a partner, but if we're going with dunk, she loves just.. his body shape? like he's a thicc boi too. and it's just warm and inviting and idk don't talk to me idk what i'm talking about.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person) .............she really likes facials. like call t*mmy, paint her face. just kidding. but she likes facials and she likes when someone cums on her tiddies. 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) she...definitely slept with one of her professors from university. like it was a little bit after she graduated, was in a bar before she moved to florida the first time and stuff.. yeah. she's never told anyone. oops.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) she's fairly average. she's not virginal, obviously, but she's not constantly banging around. but she does know what she's doing. 

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual) she's pretty content with just some missionary. or whatever the fuck you call side by side ok. is it just side by side/ i don't know. i'm a dumb bitch.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) it's pretty down the middle. pretty serious, but can go off and giggle. she's pretty chill, so i mean.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.) she's pretty trimmed, rly. full wax makes her feel Too Gross, so.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) she's honestly.. a really romantic gal. like quickies aside, but she.. would love all that cheesy ass romance, like candles and rose petals and stuff, and honestly, she'd do it for herself. self care, fam. anyway. during the moment, she's someone who is very into kissing and using their name while she's on some moaning ish and just......... idk. romance.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon) she usually is fine not masturbating but when she's on the road, she needs to before every show because lolstress. gotta bang one out before she leaves her hotel room. helps her chill her whole ass out, ok.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) god, i don't even think she has kinks. because she banged a professor, she might be into dressing up in like.. a skirt. but even then she's like uhhh. so. y'know.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do) .. she's honestly really content with a bed. she likes being comfy. what of it.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) intelligence. talk nerdy to her, probably, and she's like helllllo. she also gets going with collarbone kissing. and tiddy handling. sensitive tiddies.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) she's really against spanking. that's honestly one of her hardest nos. she associates it with bad memories, so it's just very much not a thing for her at all. respects peoples likes, but. not for her. another turn off is just complete assholery. like for real. get to stepping, she does not need this.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) she is definitely more into receiving. it's not as though she's awful at giving and that she hates it, but. she likes bein a pillow princess sometimes, alright. i know that's a lesbian thing or whatev, but. still. counts. bye.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) it's kind of like.. a mix? it's just normal sex. she digs slow and sensual though, but when she's in a relationship.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.) quickies are hot. she thinks they're hot. and fantastic, since she's always on the go and they work well for her. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) i .. she's not too risky. she's never found someone to really be super experimental with and risky with? like her last relationship was pretty just.. straight vanilla. and kinda boring. so you know.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) when she's by herself, she can be a quick trigger. with someone else, it can kind of take some time. then it ends up being longer if she's not comfortable and she gets in her head, so. which, she can go for a fair amount of rounds, so.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) she has a rabbit, that's about it. never used it on a partner. she suggested a cock ring once to her ex, he was not receptive, so she generally never mentions toys. oops.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) she never really ends up getting to tease, but it's really just an average amount of liking. nothing like life ruining. she has no clue how to do that.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) she's actually fairly quiet to begin with. years of having to be quiet doing anything because of family and like, roommates. then she slowly gets louder, and actually starts cussing, which is not normally her, so ]o[. 

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) every time she has a sex dream, something goes terribly wrong. like genuinely. it starts off great and then just suddenly dips into actual hellscape, like post apocalyptic shit. it's so weird. she does not understand. trauma.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) tiddies.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) it's pretty regular. she's just your regular average adult. bangs are great, but she's not revving her engine every single hour of every day or something.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) she honestly pops out pretty quick if she's comfortable. if she's not, she tends to dip out real quick because boy, that's a lot of vulnerability for someone she met three hours prior.

[groundramon]

Cartoon asks: ALL OF THEM

THANK YOU SO MUCH OMFG

also i totally didnt fill all these out in advance and twiddle my thumbs in anticipation, hoping someone would send me this ask, nope not at all                 

1. A cartoon you remember that nobody else does.Back at the Barnyard.  That fucking show…oh my god

2. A cartoon you like but nobody else seems to.Well technically I remember liking Back at the Barnyard but I haven’t watched that show since I was like 8 or 9 so idk if I’d like it now akjsfkfkgjh I kinda doubt it now because my bullshit-tolerance-meter for television has significantly shortened.  Uhhh the only other cartoons I can think of that I liked that don’t seem to be liked by a lot of people are like…the DreamWorks cartoons (when they were on Nickelodeon and CN that is, I don’t have Netflix rip) and the Lego cartoons (except Ninjago because apparently that has a fandom?? what??) like I thought they were okay at the time at least.  (Also I guess the HTTYD cartoon wasnt hated, because it was fucking HTTYD, but //shrug)

3. A cartoon you don’t like but everybody else seems to. ADVENTURE TIME and like everything on Cartoon Network except Steven Universe and We Bare Bears honestly.  Like Adventure Time isn’t my cup of tea but I’m like “alright, some of those plots actually seem kind of interesting, I guess I can see where people are coming from” but like… shit like Clarence and Uncle Grandpa??  I’m all for people having different opinions but I don’t know how you can even get past the art style, let alone the writing style and some of the voice acting ;-; you are a stronger person than I’ll ever be if you can get past that lmao

4. A cartoon you wish would be forgotten.Uhhh pretty much everything on Nickelodeon from 2010-2014 (besides the dreamworks cartoons basically) and the shit reboots that CN’s been pumping out (namely TTG and the PPG reboot, but the Ben 10 reboot looks REALLY lazy, so at least it doesn’t annoy me [or I haven’t seen anything from it that annoys me] but…)

5. The worst cartoon you’ve ever seen, and why?Fanboy and Chum Chum, as far as cartoons I’ve actually watched go (because hoo boy, worse cartoons exist out there).  Everything about that cartoon is…wrong and broken.  It has one style of humor and that’s toilet/gross out humor.  The “straight man” so to speak, basically an emo teen version of Squidward, is actually…not Squidward in-show??  Like in the intro he’s very clearly set out to be a grouch who hates the main characters, but in the show he’s just…an introvert that gets wrapped into their plans and only snaps at them when they actually hurt him.  The protagonists are annoying as fuck and are psychopaths that deserve to be locked up in a mental institution.  It’s not funny.  The voice acting is annoying as hell.  And the animation is disgusting.  I didn’t know it was even possible to make 3d animation look this rendered yet still look so bad, but apparently it is.  Like they took extra effort into making the show look WORSE.  I will say that its impressive that they managed to get such tooney designs to exist in a 3d space, but that doesn’t do you shit good when the animation is gross.

6. The worst moment you’ve ever seen happen in a cartoon.Directly, as in I was watching the show?  Something in Fanboy and Chum Chum.  Indirectly, as in I watched a review where they showed the scene or I read about it?  Something in Family Guy, or the self-insert in the PPG reboot.  Yeah there’s a self-insert in the PPG reboot.  Every time I think it cant get worse…it does.

7. The worst thing you’ve ever seen happen to a cartoon that ruined it.I was really neutral on Teen Titans Go (some of the jokes made me laugh but others were really cringey, but it was at least funny some of the time and the art didn’t hurt me as much as other shows on CN, so whatever) but then I found out that they’ve actively attacked their critics in-show and have generally responded very poorly to criticism and…asdf.  Like its one thing to stay quiet, it’s another thing to embrace it and say “yeah we know its stupid, but it made us laugh!” (which they did do, kinda), but it’s another thing to spit in the face of everyone who has a problem with it (and not even address their criticisms, like they act like they did but?? no they fucking didn’t??).  Like the problem I have with the show is not that it’s stupid.  The problem is that the writers say “yeah, it’s for kids, so it should be stupid” (its not even “well it made us laugh” from what I remember), the problem is that the writers never watched the original show and completely ruined the legacy of a show that actually took itself seriously, the problem is that the writers are so fucking high on their horses that they respond to the haters IN-SHOW and LAUGH AT THEM.  My problem is not with the show itself, my problem is with the culture it embodies.  It embodies the worst of Hollywood entitlement, cheap shithole cashcow shows, cheap reboots that disappoint fans of the original, “stupid because its for kids” cartoons, and basically the worst Hollywood has to offer.

8. A cancelled/forgotten cartoon you would bring back to television.Uhh if nothing happens with Infinity Train then that, but besides that…another series of Avatar (like following a new avatar) would be fucking great but I don’t want to put the creators through the hell that is Nickelodeon lmao.  I also thought Harvey Beaks looked nice, like I never watched it but it looked okay, so I’d be okay with bringing that back too if it made the creator happier (honestly the poor creator…nickelodeon treated him really badly too)

9. An animated character you remember but nobody else seems to.Pete from Steven Universe lmao like where did he goJoking aside (SU is too relevant to count for this) uhHHH fuck I guess the characters in the Monsters vs Aliens cartoon? nobody remembers that movie but the show kinda cemented the characters in my mind (I would’ve said back at the barnyard but honestly I don’t remember the characters until you show them to me, besides like the main cow guy, whoops)

10. An animated character you hate the most, and why?Onion annoys me.  Like…he’s that kind of character that has no rhyme or reason behind what he does.  He’s the kind of character whose entire personality just relies on the kind of Adventure Time-esque humor that I just don’t get or enjoy.  The kind of humor that just creeps or grosses me out or bores me instead of making me burst out laughing.  The kind of humor that’s physical-based, but just too slow and poorly paced to be funny like slapstick.  I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s exactly how Onion seems to me and that’s why I dislike Onion.  In Doug Out, for example, Onion has no gross out or creep out jokes, and I don’t mind him as much.  Like he’s not a GOOD character, he still doesn’t bother insisting that there’s something else out there when the others disagree with him, but at least he isn’t scaring me.  OH AND MARCUS FROM DIGIMON DATA SQUAD I immediately thought Onion because he’s a cartoon character, but since this is just for animation in general…aksdhfgfkj i dont know why I hate Marcus so much, I dont want to hate Marcus so much, but I do.  His response to everything is just to punch everything and he’s so entitled and annoying and hotheaded and aAAARG HES JUST INFURIATING, I DIDNT THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE TO BE THIS MAD OVER A CHARACTER THAT ISNT FUNDAMENTALLY BROKEN BUT HERE I AM

11. A non-animated property you would like to see as a cartoonidk if this counts because it’d have to be an anime probably but FOSSIL FIGHTERS CHAMPIONS!!! LITERALLY I WOULD CRY IF THIS WAS MADE INTO A MANGA OR ANIME PLEASE @ NINTENDO MY FAMILY IS STARVING but seriously can you imagine like….you could have a mute main character (its implied that the protagonist talks a few times but they could be selectively mute or just mime and the dialogue could be rearranged appropriately) and if you choose the female protagonist you could make her gay for Pauleen??? Like I refuse to accept the male protagonist as the “canon” main character bc I want gay sorry.  BUT LIKE!!!  You wouldn’t have to write that much bc its already written!! and its really fucking ridiculous and would probably appeal to like…TTG-loving kids because its so silly asdf BUT ITS ALSO GOOD, IT HAS HEART, PLEASE THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA like its not a good idea for manga/anime because it IS kinda ridiculous and childish but?? it would fit so well as a western cartoon???  Hey Nintendo can you please give me a license to produce this because I swear to god I would if I could

12. A trope or trend in animation that you dislike.Well there are a lot but they aren’t exclusive to animation…?  "Blonde popular bitch" and “damsel in distress” have been two of my personal most-hated for all my life because of who I am/was, but there are others I dislike too.  I also really hate the kinda…style that Adventure Time set up in cartoons.  Like I guess AT isn’t really responsible for ugly-looking cartoons and the type of humor that I dislike, because looking at CN before it aired there were already shows like that (Chowder, Flapjack…) but I think AT really popularized them and :/ it also reworked the same concepts in Chowder and Flapjack and people were like “WOWEE CARTOON RENAISSANCE !!!” and I just kinda….idk.  I have a lot of personal baggage against AT lmao sorry AT fans, like I don’t even hate the show and not all of its effects were bad (not in the slightest) but like TTG I have issues with some of the things it popularized.

13. A currently airing cartoon that you know is going to be forgotten about in the future.Hmm, We Bare Bears maybe, or like Mighty Magiswords.  Like CN plasters Mighty Magiswords everywhere but nobody gives a shit about that show so I feel like its only a matter of time before it disappears yknow?? but maybe im wrong.  WBB doesn’t get the attention it deserves so yeah.  Also maybe that Bunsun is a Beast cartoon over on Nickelodeon? im not sure man

14. The best episode of a cartoon you really like.The Southern Raiders (that’s only one of my favorites tho, like?? The Puppetmaster is tied for first in that season, and that’s just in that season, not including the other two seasons of ATLA)

15. The worst episode of a cartoon you really like.Rocknaldo or any episode centering around Onion, e u c k

16. A cartoon you feel deserves more recognition than it gets.Uhhhhh fuck everything I watch is mainstream cries WBB isn’t that popular and like its a cute, perfectly fine show, but its not like…revolutionary

17. A cartoon you feel deserves less recognition than what it gets.ADVENTURE TIME, also s/o to Regular Show, Clarence, Uncle Grandpa…like those last two aren’t even universally liked but sorry I still think they get too much praise asdf

18. The worst idea you can think of for an animated series.It already exists and its called One Ounce Mouse, but honestly adult cartoons in general are…a bad idea.  Like if you’re just gonna use your adult rating to offend people instead of using it to be insightful or using it to be ACTUALLY FUNNY, what the fuck are you doing with your life?  You should be fired tbqh

19. At what point did you realize a cartoon, any cartoon was starting to get bad?I can’t remember when I realized SpongeBob was starting to get bad, but it was sometime around 2010 or so.  I remember getting really sick of the show when it went to HD/fullscreen because for some reason, all the new character designs got…significantly worse??  Like the season premiere of that season (cant remember which season it was, don’t care to look it up) had three new characters and they all looked…so fucking ugly?  It was really hard to look at?  Like seriously they looked like something out of Sanjay and Craig, not SpongeBob.  Even the main character designs just…looked too smooth and rounded and not good to me.  It reminds me of like Family Guy and i dont like that overly smooth, “we have too much money so we blew it on extra in-between frames instead of good-looking art” style.  I think the final breaking point for me was Squid Baby and the episode where Gary got overly attached to a ball, and realizing that after an episode that actually was kinda legitimately nice (it was the one about Plankton getting a pet) they were never going to bring up Plankton’s pet again and ugh.  Like lack of continuity is nothing new but I really wish he had kept the pet, it was the best thing to happen to the show in literal years.  Like seriously that episode was the best new episode in years, it was legitimately cute even though I had a beef with some of the character designs (as I always did in that season)

20. An experience with a cartoon you thought you were going to like but turned you away from it.I tried watching Bee and Puppycat the other day and it really….put me off….because it had more of that Adventure Time style humor and I legitimately thought it interfered with how the plot should’ve progressed.  Like Bee was way too okay with everything and we didn’t get any explanation for anything because instead she just made weird noises and bit a monster’s tongue off.  I’m still gonna watch the other episodes for the heck of it, so maybe I’ll change my mind, but eh

21. Something you would like to see more than anything in a cartoon.It already exists and it’s called Avatar: The Last Airbender + The Legend of Korra

22. What do you feel makes a cartoon forgettable?That’s….actually a really good question.  Because like, I would’ve forgotten about Adventure Time years ago if it hadn’t been drilled into my head that everyone else thought it was the best thing ever and I didn’t.  I might be off my SU high by now if I didn’t keep reblogging/reading SU-related stuff on tumblr lol.  I guess blandness is what makes your cartoon forgettable.  If its not so bad that it’s funny/everyone needs to insult it, but its not good enough that it gets good reviews, then there’s just…no place for your cartoon, especially if its not profitable so it gets cancelled quickly.

[vertigoambrosia]

i’m less cranky now so it’s time for superstars

rico’s back!!!!

good to see jurn back - he looks a lot happier on twitter/insta now that the cast is off and he can work out and stuff

billy gunn seems like he is Very Pleasant

also i respect that he’s long term committed to being the ass man/mr. ass

aww that was super cheesy; billy’s such a dad

idk that billy looks like emil’s dad, but this physique-off is entertaining

lmao wxw too classy for attitude era shenanigans

‘got good abs..and a nose’ ‘nice chest muscles’

ha i forgot how fun heel jurn is on commentary

*jurn voice* i have never done anything bad in my life

ngl i wasn’t expecting to get into that match but it was pretty fun

aw billy is v. gassed tho

this segment was longer ago than last week

also wxw i do remember what this hook was you don’t need to show me again

still weird to see emil being helpful

i got spoiled for the result of this match but that’s ok cause the result is Good

yaaay dragan’s blond again!

the blond + pastel colors is a real good look for him pls pass that on

(the white/lavender blond is still top tier, but whatever)

wow rico way to undersell being 1-1

actuallly dragan vs billy gunn would have been fun

not a fan of that near countout

lol rico said dragan was resilient and for a bit i thought he said ‘brazilian’ and was super confused

wow joey mercury is kinda disappointing - this match is so. slow.

yeah i see you have ab muscles too bad you’re fucking boring me

like, i can’t buy dragan being so damaged by his offense that he’s spent this much time on the ground

also i don’t think the jeans look works for him

oh my god he spends so much time just standing there

WAY too much of this match is just joey pacing around while dragan is on the floor

these heel tactics would have more effect (because being a dick to tommy is a top offense) if i weren’t utterly bored

THERE WE GO

that fakeout into facebuster is great

yay dragan!

(can he get a finisher tho)

LMAO LOOK AT FELIX RUN

like, i want a competitive dragan match - the francis finish was fun because it was clever thinking, but no more rollups or repeated ‘dragan falls out of the ring’, ok?

prince of eyeliner and fanboyness

buff death luchador

lmaooooo that no sell of aj’s chop

mil muertes must be huge though - aj is def bigger/beefier in person than he looks on screen

are there more seats than usual in the turbinhalle, or is it always like that when they’re not cramming people in for carat?

like, nobody’s standing up?

‘the spear that killed jesus’ omggg

LOL HOLY SHIT MIL JUST FUCKING CLOCKED HIM

jurn not everyone has to be cut

that was a pretty clever bullshit ending

yess here comes our special boy!!!!!

so excited

this boy has so much energy he just can;t stop moving

i’ve never really connected with jay lethal and i don’t understand why

LMAO at that cutaway from lethal’s entrace to lucky smiling at the camera

lmao i’ve always loved lethal’s character work/reactions though

also i like how lucky’s extra ants in his pants without tarkan at ringside

*lucky voice* HE DID MY THING!!!! :D

lucky wtf don’t lick heads!

these guys mesh really well together - i have no idea where jay is wrestling rn but i hope they can meet again

(i say, before the match even ends)

the pace and the counteres are so great

rico how tf did you miss calling the lethal injection????

aw i did want lucky to win though

awwww lucky....

i guess my whining about mixed tag is because it always hits the same beats

the main narrative is always that we wanna see the face woman beat up the heel man

but she is stopped by bullshit rules!

then of course at some point heel dude gets in a potshot

and the big pop is when face woman finally lands some hits

but it’s kinda like, you don’t want to actually do intergender but are basically acknowledging that banning it is bullshit

also the tagging totally throws off the pace of the action, but i’ve already said that

melanie regrets agreeing to this so bad

UGH the andy bros are back

marius no

somebody counsel this boy

why does he love that fan so much

hahahaha tas just chuckimng andy’s hoodie

i was kinda hoping he’d take the glasses and wear them

this is a weird comedy spot

‘sexy redhead advantage’ no. rico, no.

hey wxw please ban commentary from using ‘sexy’ or any variation thereof when women are wrestling

also i take back what i said about heel jurn commentary being fun, he’s getting grating in the way he’s shitting on faces

too much - it’s easy to just get annoying as a heel commentator

ha i like how tas is just letting kelly hit andy

no. pls do not do this. kelly. stop. no hitting andy.

i wish we’d get some melanie vs marius shenanigans; she gets played more for comedy in these

this is cool but doesn’t make sense! either kelly or andy isn’t legal

see i don’t like melanie just going for slaps

ok i’ll stop complaining that was a real good finish

so i wandered away for a while and i guess my computer restarted for updates or some shit so all my comments on the shotgun match and whatever and the tag match are gone

time for a new post i guess