#but idk how many chapters left so I’m just fighting for my life like

[nami-moittli]

AFTER 250+ CHAPTERS AND TWINS WE FINALLY GET A PROPER TAISUMI KISS LETS GOOOOO!!!!!

[fic-dumpster]

The road so far

Summary: Have you ever wondered what goes through a writer’s mind while she’s trying to complete the stories you like so much? Well! Wonder no more! Here’s a first look into a writer’s unstable mind!

Characters: Bonten against Omi (no x because it’s war)

Word count: 1K

Content Warnings: fighting, slight breaking of the fourth wall, sitcoms, crackfic, it’s a joke. Yes, it can be read as x reader… just pretend. Hostility, a meme, DIH references, other fandoms mentioned.

A.N: TAKEOMI IS NOT OMI. I am Omi. I wrote this in 15 so it’s very rushed. idk… this is me trying to portray my internal struggles while I write. I just worked joke of 1000 words… and yes, characters never listen to what we want.

“If you think we’re gonna cooperate with you after leaving us for almost three years, you’re delusional,” Kokonoi crossed his legs once he sat down in front of Omi.

Omi had called a meeting with Bonten in hopes of coming to an agreement. She needed to work on her WIPs but her characters weren’t cooperating.

“As a matter of fact, I am delusional,” Omi answered, sipping from her water bottle, “anyway, I just need to finish the rest of the meetings and we’re done! Swear!”

Around her, the rest of Bonten sat with serious faces. Nobody was happy to be there. After her disappearance a few years ago, things weren’t quite as peaceful between them as they used to be.

“Yeah, yeah. I see how you are. Use us and drop us.” Sanzu sounded bitter and angry. He didn’t take the vanishing so well. He had bonded with her and she just left him. That wasn’t right in his book.

“Ugh, women…” With a sigh, Rindou stretched his long limbs, showing how tired and stressed he was.

“What do you mean ‘ugh? Women?’” Omi harshly questioned Rindou with a frown on her face.

“Nothing…” he replied nonchalantly, sitting up straight once again.

“Forget that! You clearly have preferences for certain members.” As she heard that voice her skin began to crawl. Hair standing on end, Omi slowly turned towards the source— once she saw his obnoxious face, only irritation was left behind.

“Oh, shut up, Ran! I wrote your story with your brother first! Why are you complaining?” She quickly replied, raising her hand in protest.

“Because he’s one of those,” added Mochi in a whisper.

So much of a whisper that was… half the men present burst out laughing which caused Ran to sigh in frustration. He was done. So many years and he still didn’t know what the hell that meant.

“We can't just hop back in,” Takeomi’s voice raised above the hysterical laughter of his peers.

Omi deflated at his words. She dreaded the worst… Was this how things were going to end?

“Please, I’ll do anything! I can’t leave the story like that!” Her eyes began to water as desperation crept in.

“Well, too bad! You left!” Sanzu’s bitterness didn’t falter, not even at the sight of unshed tears in her eyes.

“I said I was sorry! And I was busy with life, you know?”

“Yeah? Life? Then who are those guys? Rhysand? Sylus? Jinshi?” Sanzu spoke each name with disdain.

“Yeah! Who’s Umemiya? And some dude named Hoshina?” Rindou backed him up.

“More? I only heard about Sanji—” Kakucho suddenly intervened but was cut off by Omi.

“Okay! Stop! Oh my gosh!! Stoop!” Omi’s face had changed three different types of red in the last few seconds, “That… has nothing to—“

“Bullshit! I call bullshit! You created a different blog for the Stylus guy!” Sanzu was not dropping the subject.

“Oh my gosh! Let it go! And his name is Sylus!”

“AHAA!” Pink hairs wildly flew everywhere as Sanzu stood up and pointed an accusatory finger at Omi.

“Just… just help me write the few chapters I’m missing and the end. That’s all I’m asking… I lost the WIPs and I can’t by myself…” she pleaded. Internally praying they understood her dire situation.

“What do we get in return?” Mikey finally spoke after observing the back and forth between his men and Omi.

That sentence perked her up. A ray of hope finally came in between the stormy clouds.

“What-what would you want?” She asked with bright eyes and a new determination ignited.

“We can discuss that later,” Mikey waved his hand dismissively.

Omi nodded eagerly in return. Finally! Some progress. “Okay, fine… that’s good…”

After Mikey’s short exchange of words, they decided to end the meeting. It was time to move forward and begin working. Everyone stood up and began to leave the room.

They saw Omi move to the side with Takeomi and they started to talk amicably, with smiles and very friendly hand gestures. It was like time had never passed for them. She didn’t treat him differently and Takeomi seemed comfortable with her.

“Why does she like the old man…” Kakucho wondered out loud.

“It’s the daddy issues, I bet,” Sanzu was seething as he kept watching the scene play in front of him.

“What did you say?!” You turned your head like the exorcist once you heard those words leave Sanzu’s lips.

“Does she have superhuman hearing? How the hell did she hear you?” Ran said with a bit of panic in his voice.

And it began. Omi had been chasing the pink-haired man for a while now…

“I DON'T NEED YOU, SANZU! I CAN FINISH DIH WITHOUT YOU!” But before she could catch him, a pair of hands caught her first, “UGH! KAKUCHO LET ME GO! HE’S DEAD!”

Meanwhile a bit further away from the commotion.

“We have agreed to help her. Was it really necessary to do all the drama?” Questioned Takeomi to Mikey and Mochi. The three men watched the rest battling it out.

“We voted and the majority chose to make drama before agreeing,” Mikey said as his eyes followed Sanzu speeding away from Omi,

“Even Koko?” Mochi was surprised by that information.

“Even Koko.” Mumbled the short man.

“RAN, YOU TOO! BOTH YOU AND SANZU ARE DEAD!” Omi yelled, still being held by Kakucho who was trying to help diffuse the situation.

“What did I do?”

“YOU’RE ONE OF THOSE!” She kicked her feet in an attempt to be let loose, “I SHOULD HAVE KEPT WRITING FOR HAIKYUU! They wouldn’t treat me like this!”

“Yeah? Well, go and play ball with your sporty boys!” Ran screamed back.

“You’re insufferable!” Omi screamed as she tackled Ran to the ground.

“She became way more violent in the years we didn’t see her,” Mikey commented and the rest of his executive nodded in agreement. Everyone just watched Omi and Ran scuffling on the floor.

Bonus:

Omi: and then you do as it says here *points to the script*

Kakucho: that’s too mean. I don’t want to do that.

Omi: you’re a criminal! How is it mean to push her face down and—

Kakucho: shhh no please *blushing*

Omi: I’m working with amateurs… *throws her stack of paper into the trash*

[imaginespazzi]

Nivi, I know you said that chapter 7 was mostly filler so you didn’t love it, but I’d argue it had some important tidbits spread throughout that made it stand out.

Paige is finally back in Azzi’s life, but with their past it feels like she is still trying to figure out her place…hmm

Loved the way you weaved time in this chapter. Felt like maybe you might have been foreshadowing Paige pulling back/leaving a little bit. Idk the line “It’s like they’re trying to reel Paige into their world and keep her there forever, like even if she let go, they wouldn’t let her” and then Stephie waking up being scared that Paige had left without saying goodbye stood out to me. Also the fact that Paige was relieved that Azzi was still there in the morning “a promise kept” and then Stephie waking up and being scared that Paige had left and wanted Paige to promise she would never leave was a fun bit of mirroring.

Paige spiraling about sugar and utensils goes back to her still trying to figure out her place in Azzi’s life. The line “two people who’d once promised to build a world together, had spent the last couple of years, building two separate ones instead” broke my heart a little bit. Paige is gonna have to get used to what the current state of what both of their lives are like. Blending presents while still holding onto the past is tricky.

Stephie, Tullulah, Paige, and vodka was pure gold lol

Not Paige having heart eyes for Azzi when she isn’t even around 😂 The coffee shop scene was very sweet and domestic. Stephie being indecisive like her mother and Paige wanting to buy her all the cookies so she wouldn’t have to decide felt like an extension of her own relationship with Azzi. I could see Paige wanting to spoil and care for Azzi in that same way. Paige is very babygirl in this scene. Again I love soft Paige lol.

The scene with Jana, one thing Paige is always gonna do is tell on herself 😂 Jana is so the rebellious younger child, and I love Azzi and Jana’s mother daughter relationship lol.

Not Azzi trying to keep Paige a secret 😭 Doesn’t seem like they are quite on the same page. The line “But there’s something about being a secret again, that raises a bitter taste of what killed us then could kill us now” left a bit of a pit in my stomach. I know we’re gonna get the full breakup scene, but can’t help but wonder how being a secret factors into Azzi turning down Paige’s proposal. Did Paige propose to try to keep them together since she knew once she got drafted in the league they would be a part? And was Azzi not ready to make their relationship public during her senior year at UConn? This whole exchange of them going to the party together just feels like Azzi holding back. Like part of their problem before was Azzi holding back and Paige jumping head first and here they are falling back into their old pattern.

Ugh not Azzi’s ex being invited to the party and Stephie having a special bond with her. I knew the angst was gonna show up eventually, and I know I’m not ready for what’s to come 😭

The Olympic scene had so many emotions. I wanted to slap Olivia for being a grade A Bitch! The loss of what could have been between Paige and Azzi, and their 2 separate lives colliding once again 😩 Azzi’s clap back to Olivia 👏 made me smile and cheer. The contrast between Paige hyper focusing on the Clezzi edits while her wife is fighting with her, is definitely giving emotional cheating. My heart did kind of feel for Olivia in that scene. The way she just gave in resigned to knowing that she would always be second place 💔. Idk if this was the beginning of the end for them, but it felt like it. Also the contrast and bookend of that scene with Paige watching edits about how Clemence looks at Azzi and then watching an edit of how she herself looks at Azzi was just the perfect angsty touch. Just a very beautiful and raw scene.

The final scene of Paige winning the gold medal has so many emotions built in. Paige and Azzi started out as best friends so it feels natural that they would always just resort back to this even during their break. It’s just kind of their default setting. Both of them just genuinely caring for each other even if they aren’t together or particularly close at the time. And then that gives way to both of them emotionally cheating on their partners (I’m assuming Azzi and Clemence are in fact dating) It’s just very emotionally messy. It does make me wonder about the current history of Clemence and Azzi. If they did date does the team know? Obviously they don’t know about the history between Paige and Azzi. How long ago did they break up? Is this why Clemence was traded to Atlanta? Did it end in good or bad terms? Does Clemence feel about Paige the way Olivia feels about Azzi? I have so many questions lol, I guess I gotta just wait for chapter 8 😅

Sorry, I didn’t mean for this to get this long but there was just so much to dive through even in a “filler” chapter. You’re just very good at world building 🙂 Anyway, thank you again for your writing and for sticking to the Monday schedule, I’m very proud of you 😊 Can’t wait to see where you take us in chapter 8, I feel a lot of angst coming and Idk if I’m ready for it 😭

——📚

Hi lovelyyyy I'm so glad you're back!

I'm so happy you caught the parallel and the *potential* foreshadowing. That line actually probably weaves itself into your next point about Paige trying to figure out her place in a world that Azzi built without her. There's so much they're trying to blend together, the past they had with each other, the past had without each other, the present they sort of have together and the future that they want with each other.

You're very hot on the money with some of these questions about the breakup!

I'm glad that y'all seem to understand that while Olivia's a bitch, she's not a bitch without a cause. I try really hard not to write anyone as an outright terrible person cause that's quite one-dimensional and so I'm very happy that, that seems to be coming through. Clémence and her role in Azzi's life will be revealed soon too!

Ah well the people did ask for angst! (but there will be fluff too!)

[asteria7fics]

I have no clue how this works but uhhhhh mayybeeeeee butters (or butters when he’s professor chaos) uhhhhh

👻 A headcanon about what scares them

💝 A headcanon about their love language

💔 An angsty headcanon

👗 A headcanon about their clothes

🔪 A headcanon relating to fighting/violence

🌟 A headcanon about their desires/wishes

🥇 A headcanon about what they’re best at

🎭 A headcanon about what they lie about

🖕 A headcanon relating to anger

😬 A headcanon about the worst thing they’ve done

😭 A headcanon about the worst thing that happened to them.

😶 A random headcanon!

(Yes I had to copy paste it to remember the emojis) I don’t think I read the reblog correctly so idk if I’m allowed to have this many😨😨 you don’t have to do them if u dont want but I would love to learn more abt your butters headcanon for ur fic (specifically for ewily if I remember the acronym correctly)

RAHHHHHH -😨

AAAH BUTTERS!!! MY BOY!!!! (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)♡

I’ll do my best to cover all of these!! I never get to blab about the boy with a heart full of magic!!!

Barely spoilers for the chapter 9 of EWILY under the cut, and a couple of other small details I do include in the fic but aren’t really super plot relevant.

👻 - A silly one to start with, but I think he’s a little bit afraid of the dark. I’m gonna probably say this a lot, but after some of the shit that’s happened to him in the context of canon, he gets really uncomfortable being left completely alone in pitch darkness. Oh! And of course he’s always afraid of doing something wrong and getting grounded!

💝- Words of affirmation. I won’t go into any greater detail, but it will all make sense soon enough ehehehe

💔- I personally think Butters struggles a lot with the fact that he doesn’t quite fit in with the other boys. They’re all pretty abrasive towards him still, and he’s really not cool enough to fit in with most of them. He doesn’t show it, but his insistence on still ‘playing superheroes’ with Kenny is kind of a greater symptom of this insecurity. I imagine he was very excited to be included when Stan got Crimson Dawn back together as they got older, probably late middle school or so.

👗- Wears whatever his mom picks out for him, which is why he’s such an über dork. Lots of lumpy sweaters with dress slacks and straight leg jeans that are all a little too short on his long ass legs, meaning his socks are always showing so they have to coordinate with his outfit, too. And of course, he owns an impressive collection of button up shirts and sweater vests.

🔪- Butters is not a fighter, but he’s certainly had lots of violence enacted on him. Bullied pretty bad as a kid, on top of (tw for child abuse) his father’s liberal use of physical punishments. These are all pretty much canon though, so suffice to say I personally think Butters CAN fight if he needs to, he just generally chooses not to. (This is where the Professor Chaos headcanons come in hehe)

🌟- He wants to be happy, above all else. It doesn’t really matter what it is that will get him there, he just wants to experience the joys of living without worrying about the consequences for once in his silly little life. Aah, now I’ve gone and made myself sad!

🥇- Canonically Butters is good at a ton of stuff! He’s such a highly creative person with a massive imagination, and though The Poop That Took a Pee is a horrible example, I think he’d actually be a really good fiction writer! Hm, maybe that’s something I should explore more.

🎭 - Everything, all the time. Naw, I’m being hyperbolic, though he definitely tells white lies to his parents to avoid getting in trouble. I think he’s also very dishonest when things upset him, at least when people like Stan, Kyle or Cartman hurt his feelings. He knows better than to show weakness around those assholes! (Sometimes RIP)

🖕- I actually think Butters’ anger is under appreciated! He’s an angry little guy when he wants to be, and while I think he’s quick to anger when something finally does irritate him enough, he’s also very quick to cool back down. He doesn’t really hold grudges, though he makes a few exceptions.

😬 - AHAHAAHAH!!! Where do I even begin?? Butters does worse things in canon than pretty much anything I’ll ever have him do, though I would argue that inadvertently inspiring his entire class to wage a war over him wasn’t, uh, great. Oh, and shooting that guy in the dick, I guess.

😭 - Again, where do I begin?? I think the trauma he’s experienced in canon sort of speaks for itself, though I also think that though maybe he didn’t get anything quite as bad in the Asteria-verse, the bullying he withstood affected him more than he would be willing to admit. Poor child, can someone please get him a therapist?

😶 - Butters’ eternal sunshine, happy boy disposition is at least partially a front. While he’s naturally an optimist person, and does generally see the good in everyone around him, but he’s not a complete idiot. He acknowledges, again, that he’s not fully accepted by his peers, but chooses to disregard a lot of the things they do to isolate him. As a little boy it was a more honest representation of who he was, but as he’s gotten older (and more hormonal oof) he’s latched onto it as a means of protection, so to speak. The only person who really, truly sees Butters in his most honest form is Kenny.

This was so much fun!!! Thank you for humoring me and sending this, and I hope you enjoyed learning a lil something about the way I portray Butters in my work!! (ㅅ´ ˘ `)

[lxmelle]

Do you think that Gojo will return some day? Since we have Geto's family members back in the latest chapters, we have a litttttle chance to get Geto back. So, based on SatoSugu connection, maybe Gojo will be back too...(I know it's kinda stupid and naive, but anyway i still hope).But... to be honest, i have mixed feelings about that. I mean, on the one side i feel like Gojo's story is over. He died on a dramatic note, in such a worthy way for the strongest jujutsu sorcerer. That's why he will be remembered forever. But on the other, i think that Gege made a unique and memorable character, but killed him really fast. I feel like Gojo's story left unsaid, unfinished. We lost him too early. I will miss him (i already do). But anyway, Gege doesn't like him, so 😔.

Hi!! My first ever question! 😃 Thank you for asking 🥰

I’ll do my best to offer an answer. Spoilers ahead!

To be honest, I feel like you’ve come to the echo similar sentiments to many of us in the fandom who love Gojo.

From an objective standpoint, the conclusion to his character arc made a lot of sense. He isn’t the main character, as popular as he is. Similar to your point, his dramatic end was through a good fight and it was fitting as the strongest in the modern era. He already exceeded all his ancestors in defeating Mahoraga and overcame his pride so some degree by discussing with others what they should do if he loses in the battle. He wasn’t perfect, but no character is in JJK. Gege did design him really well and he’s been sooo loved.

His immense strength that usually is associated with the main hero in fiction can be confusing, because why doesn’t the strong triumph over evil? Did he not deserve a better life / death?

Of course he did... 😔

But JJK isn’t that kind of story, I guess.

We get shown time and time again that death comes to the characters at different times. Loss can be unfair - loss of limbs, binding vows, etc. and I guess it’s just meant to mimic real life. The characters are fallible and make decisions or judgements that may not work out or are incorrect. They, like people in real life, have flaws and don’t have the power of foresight. They can be wrong.

It’s uncomfortable reading sometimes, isn’t it? Especially when we get attached to some of them. This is also what I remind myself when I feel overwhelmed by the loss of so many other characters who just had so much potential that never got realised. When powerscalers diss Geto it gets my back up too - because it just doesn’t feel fair that his potential was capped by the timing of when jjk 0 was written before domain expansions were created, and we never got to see how powerful he could’ve been - oftentimes people say it was Kenjaku who used Geto’s body better. Idk if it’s true, but I can imagine it does because of his life experience.

I don’t think you’re naive for having that hope at all. I have similar wishes and hopes - I’d love for Geto and Gojo to relive some kind of a life together - teacher AU or something. I hope with all of my satosugu soul that they’re reunited and it wasn’t some death fantasy in Gojo’s head 😭

As for being revived, I don’t know if Gege will throw some kind of curveball, but if the jujutsu world crushed Geto’s soul so much, and if Gojo was happy to just be with Geto and leave the rest to the next generation, then I’m happy for them to remain dead. Sorry if this isn’t what you wanted to hear 😢 I just don’t know how happy they’d be knowing so many have died to Sukuna and what their purpose would be in the new world.

This is perhaps why there are so many in the jjk fandom who are creating art and fiction, discussing metas and proposing theories. We just love the characters and sometimes there isn’t space for everyone’s story to develop to its full potential. Gege himself doesn’t like spoonfeeding information, apparently, preferring to leave things (frustratingly) vague at times to allow for reader interpretation or prompt research.

Love it or hate it, Gege writes really cleverly in my honest opinion - the amount of foreshadowing even from earlier on is something I marvel at. How he weaves in real-life themes (like the idolising of “popular idols” or “unfairness” and “politics”) alongside mythical / religious themes - is really incredible. As for Gojo, I think his strength was a challenge for Gege to write about as well, hence his sealing in prison realm.

That lends itself to why I personally feel Gege didn’t hate Gojo, but maybe found him difficult to handle to progress with the story due to how overpowered he was. We often dislike in others what we dislike in ourselves, so maybe that’s gege because apparently he’s similar to Gojo 🤣

But yes, I hope that I managed to offer something to your question, @vacuum2314 ! Thanks for submitting a question to me to answer! <3

[ssreeder]

Hi! Thank you so much for posting the new chapter :) I can’t even put into words how much I love your work. It feels crazy because I have been following liab for over a year now and I think I’ve never been this consistent with anything in my life :D i don’t know if it’s a secret but do you have the next chapters already planned out? And do you know how many chapters this part is going to be? Thank you for you hard work!!

Hiii aww I’m so glad you liked the new chapter! & yeah wow I’ve been writing this fic for like 2 years I think, shiiiit what is time ahhh. Thanks for sticking with me so long <3

I actually have pretty much all the chapter planned out until the battle begins but my problem is I do them by events so it’s like I want this this and this to happen in a chapter but idk how long it’ll take to make that happen but I know what I want to write lol.

(& sometimes the characters don’t LISTEN & I say be nice and make this an easy talk and they’re like no fuck you author I wanna fight right now and the convo takes 1.5k instead of idk 500 words lol. )

I just posted chapter 15 & I’m going to GUESS we are about halfway done. In my mind we are halfway through the last book and that means we have roughly 15 chapter left to go then the epilogue.

I’m pretty good at estimating chapter count but horrible at word count estimation haha.

Thanks for the ask I hope you have an awesome day!!

[seoafin]

i’m gonna be a nasty lil nerd and geek out about the fic okay i’m on vacation rn n i feared if i left it for when i came back home i would forget. SO ur insane actually sooooooo crazy for writing that like i’m willling to check u into a mental hospital for putting me through all of that. (it was amazing please never stop) can i tell u my lil ripmc headcannon it doesn’t have to be true and please feel free to ignore if u hate it but i kinda hc that she can read a cursed objected history or take important information from it. i’m unaware if you’ve delved deeper into her techinque ik she uses the katana n idk i think it would be kinda cool if she realized that technique n decided to get proficient with the katana maybe as a way to raise her value as a sorcerer in the eyes of the higher ups n fight curses with the collected information she learned from them in her fighting style with her katana! sorry if like hc stuff about ur if’s is annoying and please feel free to ignore i just thought it’d be kinda cool! like making her super powered up i feel like would clash a bit with geto n gojo but making her just interesting enough a nice puzzle piece to fit in between them she’s capable of understanding an objects entire history but incapable of reading between the lines that her two best friends wanna do the nasty. also i love love love the way you’ve written ripmc n her view in love and relationships i relate so much to it. i’ve tried verbalizing it to myself but end confusing myself even more and i just really loved the simple way in which you explained that she simply loves geto gojo n shoko n all the kids of course. like i have some trouble dissecting the difference between romantic love and platonic love but i just know i have so much of it to give even tho i don’t see love as a huge huge part of my life? we’re u interested in writing ripmc with any hints of aromance or pansexuality in the mind? idk just so cool all around!!!! also the first chapter with her and geto cooking was so fucking wrenching because u do so well the thing where they look at her and they’re clearly mad and they know they’re mad and she’s just apologetic for existing n they’re just fed up and there’s so much unsaid in the quiet of it all n in between all those stolen glances it makes me wanna rip my heart into two. ALSO just the way you wrote rip mc with geto cooking n then gojo n her touching like i feel like you incorporated their love languages so beautifully woah man woahhh. last thing loved the guilt tripping from the children it was awesome i felt like an absentee father who didn’t go see her childrens recital or smt 10/10 recommend. ALSO ALSO megumi is sooooooo possesive of ripmc he is such an adorable lil jealous brat i love how it makes gojo spiral n wish he could revert back in age so he could cuddle up to her and hold her hand ughhhhh🤯

ahhhhhh!!! you can honestly project and imagine whatever you want onto rip!mc she's meant to be written that way!!! but yes haha if you know me then you probably im a very big proponent of having platonic and romantic love overlap. to me there's no clear boundary that marks romantic from platonic vice versa and i don't really think it's something to be necessarily distinguished as different. love is love you know. but also imo our western constructs of romantic love vs platonic love works to our detriment. it places too much of a heavy burden on a partner to fulfill all your emotional needs and emphasizes romantic fulfillment over platonic fulfillment when ideally you should have both! anyway I went off on a tangent lmfao. In the end love is love and rip!mc sees that. no matter how many people you love or how you love. I am sooo looking forward to actually writing mimiko and nanako past a few lines. I know I mainly focus on megumi but all the kids are very precious!!! as I said before you can definitely read rip!mc as pansexual/aromantic (which other ppl have also hc'd her) thank you for reading I'm glad you enjoyed it!!!

[terrainofheartfelt]

i haven’t read the latest chapter yet because today’s unfortunately a migraine day but i just wanted to let you know that i’m loving “for when my soul’s too tired to speak” and am really looking forward to catching up on it!!! jennate usually isn’t a pairing i’m super into because i’m a lesbian!jenny truther tbh, but i love the way you write them together!!! jenny feels organically matured, and i think you strike the perfect balance between her softer, sweeter side with nate and her “y’all can get fucked” side with nate’s family and ~Society~. sorry if this is a little disorganized just wanted to let you know that i really love your writing and always look forward to your updates!!!!

oh thank you!!! that's very kind of you to say! & I hope you get to feeling better soon 💕💕💕💕💕💕 migraine's are AWFUL

in this house we love lesbian!jenny, and I thank you for indulging me with this fic! I mean, I ship jennate in a decidedly gay way. they're bi4bi. they're super gay for each other

but in any case this has been an excuse for a jenny character study for all the things you describe so I am SO HAPPY that those are coming through and in a way that feels genuine to her character.

it's also been fun to present dair as a foil, because a) i've written so much about them that they're sisters to me and b) jenny as a character is sort of a dan & blair conglomerate? like, jenny and blair are, in many respects, the same flower grown in different soil, and jenny & dan are different flowers grown in the same soil. idk if that's the best analogy bu there is just something so delicious about writing Jenny as she is past all the shit thrown on her, and what does that look like, and how does what she want from life align with and differ from what her brother has? I'm a little sister, so I love writing a little sister.

and what you say about inwardly, privately, jenny being Soft with her person versus the outward "yall can get fucked," when i read that I thought, that's a very Blair trait too!

and i think maybe that's what's most similar about their characters in their arcs -- or their arcs as I see and write them because in this house we also reject much of the treatment canon dealt them -- is that both of these girls start out looking to be loved, and grow into adulthood fighting for it, and are ultimately searching for that same thing, where they can let the hard exterior dro pfor a while, a person they can be soft with without having that tenderness be taken advantage of or treated like a character flaw. It's kind of wild how much of their stories hinges on that conversation blair has with her mom in s4, about finding a (and I'm paraphrasing) "partner you can be weak with, so that you can recharge and be strong again."

and that, is the special sauce that I think makes jenate so delicious, because nate is in search of that too, I think, a person he doesn't have to hold all of himself together for. he can left the soft animal of his body be a bit of mess, and still be loved for it.

in any case, I really appreciate you sending me this message, it was a joy to read, and it was a joy to have an excuse to blather on about the jenate meta that i've been marinating on as I've been writing. thank you, sweets <333

[consumeroflemoans]

One through six for Lilia, Leona and Epel

Or just one if that's too much

Lilia

1. Why do you like/dislike this character?

Ohhhh my god where do I start. I love Lilia so much. For one, he’s the reason we get so much information about the fae, history, and worldbuilding, especially within Briar Valley. I love lore so much and he is my king for that. Also he’s genuinely such a fun character! He has so many great dynamics with the rest of the cast. Also I love the fact that he’s really just at NRC to protect his very real child and spends all his time trolling

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Mostly his relationships with the Diasomnia characters. He has so many good dynamics, but I love how they’ve just become a family. Also oh my god general Lilia

I’m just going to start rambling so I’ll stop myself. I think one of my favorite things about him is that he just has a bunch of old ass relics in his room. Like stuff that belongs in a museum that he’s just kept in his closet for centuries

3. Least favorite thing about this character?

I don’t think there’s a single thing I dislike about Lilia. He can do no wrong in my book trust. I think his only detriment is he can’t cook. I’m so sorry king.

4. If you could put this character in any other media what would it be?

Stardew valley. I was going to put Slime Rancher but that’s too far away from his sons. He deserves to be able to settle down and chill outside for the rest of his life. Also his sons need to come with him.

5. What’s the first song that comes to mind when you think of them?

Numbers by Psychostick I think he would sing that at 3 am and at the Pop Music Club

6. What’s something you have in common with this character?

I also pick up a ridiculous amount of random ass hobbies. Idk I barely have anything in common with him

Leona

1. Why do you like/dislike this character?

Honestly Leoper is what got me into exploring Leona’s character more. I’ve always been pretty neutral on him because he’s a good and pretty well written character, I just don’t really like his personality and his entire plot of trying to ruin the Spelldrive event. It’s really a personal preference thing.

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

I feel like my favorite thing about so many of these characters are their dynamics with other characters. I think his and Vil’s dynamic is really fun

Also this is really out of left field but I really like him in the manga for no reason. He’s drawn so well

3. Least favorite thing about this character?

I already mentioned this a bit, but how much of a prick he is to everyone? Asshole characters are needed and I get why he’s like this, I just don’t really like him as a person sobs

4. If you could put this character in any other media what would it be?

Ouran High School Host Club just because I think it would be really funny. He would hate it

5. What’s the first song that comes to mind when you think of them?

The first song that popped into my head was Welcome to the Jungle by Guns and Roses and I think that’s appropriate

6. What’s something you have in common with this character?

We’re both catboys /j

Man idk we both like eating food and find fighting fun sometimes. I don’t know if I have anything else in common with Leona sobs

Epel

1. Why do you like/dislike this character?

I think Epel is a really fascinating exploration of gender roles and masculinity. His whole arc in Chapter 5 was so damn good and just love him so much. Sobbing I feel like I don’t have much to say about him I really like him

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

I love that he gets a bunch of apple products from his family farm. Reminds me of the time my family’s pear trees grew so many pears we were eating pear sauce for literal years after. I think we still have some in the freezer

Also obsessed with his relationship with gender and the dynamic that creates with Vil. Bro is my gender fr fr

3. Least favorite thing about this character?

I honestly cannot think of anything off the top of my head I don’t like about him. He’s just a fun character to me

4. If you could put this character in any other media what would it be?

I don’t have an exact reasoning for this but I think he could be really good in Omori. Especially with the other first years as the rest of the Omori crew

5. What’s the first song that comes to mind when you think of them?

That one Country Girl song that has become the go to country song for some reason

Also Two Trucks by Lemon Demon for the sole reason of my brain imagining a candy style edit of Epel to that song

6. What’s something you have in common with this character?

We both have issues with being seen as feminine. Gender issues for the win. Trans masc Epel canon trust (Tavi I better not see you saying trans fem Epel on here /silly)

[mochitoaster]

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sorry I'm not normal about chapter 3. First of all, I love the way you write and manage to put ideas down into words. I would happily read a novel from you because your writings perfect. its just! <333 makes me really happy when you update because I know that its going to be an epic chapter.

Anyways! Chapter time:

I had a really weird feeling of deja vu while reading the first part, but other than that I adore how you describe the turning process.

'First, the spark reenters the brain, neurons firing after falling silent. Then comes the pain, an all consuming stabbing, the body rejecting the life being injected back into it with every single cell.' <- I am not normal about this.

TAZERCRAFT! 'Mike is so warm. No amount of blood Pac drinks can compare to the warmth of his partner. It’s in his body, his voice, and carried within every joke, query, and comforting word.' <33333333 I love how you write them. They're relationship is so complex but you write them perfectly every time

“why bother with a love triangle when they can all just get together?” <- good question. Why bother with a love triangle?

'but upon peering through the peephole all of his thoughts come to a screeching halt' <- Pac sees hot cannibal immediately forgets how to think

'They trace over his top surgery scars' :D

'Mike glances between them as Cell backs up, a vaguely disgusted look on his face' <- same Mike. Same. (Mikes reactions to Celltw are always so funny he's so fed up with them both)

'He slides up onto a tall chair across from Forever.' <- FOREVER?????????? WAIT WHAT??? I did not see that coming.

'Forever smiles pleasantly at him, his facial expression smooth as if he hadn’t even registered the slip-up.'

'Vaguely, in the back of his mind, he wonders why Forever isn’t struggling. Most victims push back and fight to break free, yet he stands still, allowing Pac to drain him of precious fluids. 

“Pac,” Forever whispers. 

If he wasn’t so lost in Forever’s taste, Pac would probably have noticed that he hadn’t given Forever his name. 

Forever’s voice is hoarse as he says, “I’m sorry.”' <- hey. hey what THE ACTUAL FUCK. no seriously though this is perfect why the fuck does Forever know his name. WHY IS PAC GETTING KIDNAPPED?????

I am so excited to see where this goes theres still two chapters left and I'm just!!!

WAIT! Needles, Kidnapping, Unethical Experimentation, Government Experimentation. Authour I am scared for what the next chapter holds.

On a happier note, 'polyamory' :D.

This was fantastic and just!!!!!! to many thoughts about this i'm going to explode your so talented. you are so smart for writing this btw. love this fic so so so so much <3

YOURE SO SWEET EXPLODES YOU WXPLODES YOU <33333

Very glad you enjoyed! This chapter was SO HARD TO FINISH. It’s also the longest I think I’ve written? Idk

I’m really happy you like my flavour of tazercraft I really enjoy writing them C: the banter is so fun

Next chapter takes a hard left turn in vibes but it’s gonna be awesome >:D look forward to it!!!

[musiciati]

Spy x Family Mission 62.2 (Abridged Recap)

Hi everyone! So, Happy Easter to those that celebrate it, and happy new release day as well! So I usually write an abridged sarcastic recap of the chapter but for today’s chapter I’m not going to since war, death, losing loved ones isn’t something you should ever take lightly, and the fact that this chapters events hit close to home of the current events around the world, so today I’m just going to give a brief review of this very emotional and impactful chapter and reveals to us the elusive and coveted details about Twilight/Loid’s life prior to Mission Strix.

The first of the bombs have gone off and it’s the beginning of war between two nations and the irony is that the one thing Twilight’s parents warned him about, ended up saving his life in the early stages of the war. While surrounded by chaos and rubble, Twilight is reunited with his mother.

Like many others during a war, people flee from the fighting and relocate, but just like many during war, families are broken apart and some unfortunately never are reunited…

When you lose loved one, and the world you once knew is now in chaos, there’s one emotions that comes up stronger than the sadness and that is the anger at the world, at those who instigated the chaos, so there’s no other outlet than to retaliate back, like Twilight does here and like so many others who end up going to war for their innocent fallen friends and family.

But wars are rarely a one day event, but like a savage beast that slakes away on the thirst of blood and vengeance. Relentless, never ceasing until there’s nothing left. And that’s how many of those sucked into the war are like, they are driven to having no choice to fight for reasons that are only known to themselves, for every tooth and nail they fight to survive. For every emotion they feel, the peril of their own lives, the sadness of a fallen comrade, to the the anger and regret of their slained “enemies”, they hold onto these moments of emotions as a link to their humanity during the chaos of the war.

While it’s so easy to loose oneself during the war, moments like that, or in Twilight’s case, a miracle of meeting someone so different from yourself during the war can bring you back, and now you can get past the initial state of anger and channel that into perspective and practicality.

Anyway that’s it, my thoughts while reading. But I do still stand behind my head cannon that since Loid never did see his dad, or heard from him since the beginning, perhaps his dad was captured or part of the Ostanian SSS during Operation Strix, idk I’d like to see a head to head of Loid talking to his father at least one more time, be it closure for Loid’s past and for saying the things he hadn’t have the courage to say to him as a young boy.

Until next time!

Musiciati

[mettywiththenotes]

Izuku’s Emotional Neglect

Hi so I’m not okay because I keep thinking about Izuku

This kid has been emotionally neglected since he was little. Izuku has had NOBODY to rely on emotionally

He didn’t have Inko, or his classmates, or All Might. Actually, All Might is borderline the only one he’s confided in [since they talk briefly about their connection of being quirkless], but he still holds back

Inko is trying her best and no parent is perfect, I see that, but what she said to Izuku that fateful night damaged that boy and the way he saw himself.

He asks her if he can be a hero, and she cries and says she’s sorry. Not only does this imply that Izuku’s quirklessness is bad, it also implies that she was lying.

And by the way, I don’t mean that Inko ACTUALLY lied that Izuku could be a hero, nor do I think that she meant to mean his quirklessness was bad.

But I need, NEED, to stress that this is how Izuku sees it. This is how he would perceive it, subconciously.

If you’re a child and you think that you can be a hero, your parent encourages it because it makes you happy. But then suddenly you can’t be a hero, and you ask them one more time if it’s possible, hoping that those little wishes you made weren’t fruitless, that maybe somehow this is some kind of dream and she’ll wake you up from it with her smile and her warmth, promising that even with this newfound “disability” you can still be a hero, but instead she cries and apologises to you? That’s going to make you think. It’s going to make you think “Was she lying? if she truly believed in me, why would she cry and say she’s sorry? why isn’t she encouraging me, like she always does? what is happening?”

It’s not the truth, and Inko DIDN’T lie, but subconsciously I feel like it’s something that betrayed Izuku a great deal.

And with the quirklessness. He hates it, he hates feeling useless, and he saw himself as useless when he was quirkless, therefore -> quirkless is something weak and awful.

Time and time again, we see this evidence of the emotional neglect he was subjected to. It’s like actively ongoing and the effects of it are seen even now

We’ll start with the Inko one. I just mentioned it, but here are the panels. It’s really just the language that she uses

“You mean there’s something wrong?”

Apologizing over and over again, like not being normal was a bad thing. Moreso, I think this just meant that she knew how hard Izuku’s life was going to be as a quirkless person, but the way she says it makes it sound like what happened to Izuku was wrong and bad and incredibly awful

Then we have All Might disregarding his feelings and telling him straight up that he couldn’t be a hero

Which then leads to this commentary

“Don’t cry! Let it sink in!!” “Just block it out, just block it all out, just-”

*pats Izuku on head* You Can Fit So Much Denial And Repression Into This Kid!

Then further along, Izuku is seen, and he gets the quirk. He is then surrounded by people that love him, that want to help him, but it’s almost like even the narrative won’t let him have emotional closure.

In most emotional closure scenes (Tsuyu crying, Kirishima vs Rappa, Iieda in the hospital with Shouto and Izuku, Kacchan vs Deku 2), there is an end to it. The character is emotional, crying or upset, and thinking back on their regrets, spilling their guts as they scream, sob, or give solemn expressions. The other characters then cheer/hype them up, reaching some sort of conclusion to the character’s pain, and the situation is more or less resolved.

But that’s not the case with Izuku. He’s always left sorta hanging there, or his hurt and anger get sidetracked by something else. One example of this is the Running With All Might scene in the UA grounds

Izuku is incredibly upset that All Might chose to withhold information on Sir Nighteye and Mirio, and he speaks about how he can’t make sense of it. He’s voicing all his worries to All Might as they run, because he can’t stand the thought of All Might keeping something like this a secret from him.

And then All Might tells him why he kept it a secret, that he didn’t feel it was necessary to let Izuku know about Nighteye’s bias, and then it divulges into him telling Izuku he’s gonna die, and Izuku focuses on that instead.

I am NOT saying that All Might did this purposefully. He didn’t try and steer Izuku’s anger away from him, it was just that it all got revealed so suddenly, so the subject changed.

The narrative tosses Izuku’s feelings of anger aside, and instead Izuku gets emotional over All Might’s potential death. Idk man, to go from angry and upset about withheld information and then immediately shoved into the knowledge that your mentor-father figure is gonna die? That’s the narrative playing with Izuku’s feelings.

Obviously, All Might’s communication skills are awful and he just kinda unloaded all this stuff on Izuku cuz he didn’t think to tell him in the first place, but I still think Izuku’s feelings got pushed around here. He had no time to process any of it

Another example is the cafeteria scene with Shouto and Iieda

The scene goes that Izuku is visibly depressed by the Eri situation and Iieda and Shouto notice. They tell him that he can talk to them when everything gets too much [a parallel to the Stain fight], and Izuku cries. Izuku insists he shouldn’t cry, and Shouto tells him that, actually, Heroes cry too sometimes, and they offer him their food in an attempt to comfort him.

But the thing is, this scene doesn’t offer closure. Closure would be Izuku seeing that he could rely on his friends and telling them how he feels [he wouldn’t have to necessarily tell them about Eri - maybe just phrase it in another way that doesn’t reveal the mission]. Closure would be Izuku accepting that Heroes can cry too, and admitting he’s not okay. Instead, we have this

The scene feels... incomplete? Like there’s no knot at the end of the rope. Izuku is being comforted, but he’s not acknowledging his own feelings of sadness.

In fact, he’s shoveling food into his mouth to stop himself from crying, to shut himself up, to try and move forward and get past his little outburst.

I would go as far as to say this is self hatred eating, trying to quell that vulnerable part inside

I wouldn’t say Izuku HATES himself now. Rather, he just makes connections to his past quirkless self in his mind. It’s the negative emotion connection

Feeling weak? Well, you’re still like your quirkless self before! You’re still not good enough and useless!

Not strong enough? Sounds like back when you were quirkless! All weak and helpless! You can’t help anyone, which is why you need to get stronger, so you can move on from your past self!

Crying? Just like when you were quirkless! You always cried back then, like a helpless kid! You can’t be like that anymore, since you are now All Might’s Successor and A Hero, so stop crying! You’re not allowed to cry anymore!

Do you see what I’m getting at here? Izuku continuously represses these emotions as he gets stronger because he connects them to when he was quirkless. If you associate certain behaviors and emotions with how you were during a vulnerable and traumatic time in your life, you’re going to want to shove those emotions down so you don’t repeat what happened back then [in this case, Izuku sees himself being vulnerable as weak, and he saw himself as weak when he was quirkless, so he’s trying not to be vulnerable anymore].

And the scary thing is, now, we can even see the hatred in real time. I’m sure there are other examples in the manga, but one scene is very prominent in my mind, and it’s this one

Izuku is so incredibly strong now, he has saved many people, but he still can’t view himself as anything other than “useless” or “helpless” unless he powers through death itself just to break himself more. He almost feels like he HAS to do that in order to be seen as worthy, for himself and others. When he’s struggling, bleeding and heavily injured, he yells at himself as if it’s all his fault.

It’s not about whether he’s aware he’s actively dying or not. To him, being worthless and useless is infinitely worse than dying.

Actually, the way Izuku practically yells at himself in this panel reminds me of when he was walking home in chapter 1 after his chat with All Might [shown above when talking about All Might’s impact]

There are two translated versions of this actually that ring alarm bells in my head. There is the panel already pictured above, but I chose this panel too because I simply think it hits harder

“Don’t cry! You knew already, right?! This is reality...”

In either translation, he’s chiding himself. For crying. For being emotional.

And once again, I totally think this stems from emotional neglect. Trying not to get too personal here, but I know what this feels like, and I know the effect it has had on me. I can’t be vulnerable or spill my feelings in front of people, it just feels illegal or smthg. Like it shouldn’t be done. And like... if you’re taught from an early age that, one way or another, your feelings don’t matter and that nobody is going to pay attention to you, why try, right?

Then you just begin to Not Feel Properly, and you become incapable of expressing your feelings in a healthy manner

Current examples of this?

Izuku literally not giving himself time to process anything, like worry, grief, sadness. If anything, the only emotion he gives time for is anger. And he specifically directs it at All For One, cause that’s his target. [we saw little bits of this in War Arc but it also applies to the current arc]

He can’t cry. He feels emotional, sure. But he never lets his tears shed.

And one last bit of evidence

I’d say most if not all of these sound about right

In conclusion I wanna hug Izuku

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 320: Deku vs. Class 1-A

Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Kacchan was all “fuck Deku and fuck his stupid goodbye letters, I need to speak to somebody in charge.” Endeavor was all “hello, I am Somebody In Charge.” Kacchan was all “listen up asshole, you need to let us go out and collect our wayward nerd because you stupidly left him alone with All Might and that’s a fast track to disaster right there.” Endeavor was all, “[self-incriminating silence].” Rat Principal was all, “okay sure, have fun kids.” Back in the present, class 1-A was all “hi Deku” and Deku was all “I’M FINE!!!!!” and Kacchan was all “THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU’D SAY YOU DUMB FUCKING NERD” and so the kids all got ready to fight, because OF COURSE they’re gonna fight. Sorry guys, but yeah it’s happening.

Today on BnHA: Kacchan is all “what’s up Deku you look like a possessed Rorschach test, so anyway how are the new quirks coming along.” Deku is all “they’re coming along like THIS” and uses Smokescreen to try and get away. Kacchan is all “PHASE ONE COMMENCE”, and Kouda, Sero, Jirou, and Ojiro leap into the fray to shower Deku with heaps of love and violence, because this is a shounen manga and kicking someone’s ass while simultaneously proclaiming your undying admiration for them is just how it’s done in these parts. The KoudaSeroOJirou squad then passes the baton to Satou, Momo, Tokoyami, Kaminari, and Shouji, who are all “fuck this mask” and do a bunch of stuff to tear Deku’s mask off because they’re the real heroes. Shouto is all “LOOK AT THE LITTLE CRYBABY, THAT’S RIGHT, GO AHEAD AND FUCKING CRY and by the way let us share your burden please,” and once again I swear this is all very deeply moving and touching within the actual context. The chapter ends with Tsuyu being all “look at me. I’m the cliffhanger now,” and damn.

lol what

I don’t think anyone was expecting that. I mean, not that I’ve got anything against Tsuyu or anything. anyways it’s a very nice cover and I love the colors and I hope this means Tsuyu’s gonna do something badass

also, “Deku vs Class A” -- pretty much the expected title, but it’s still got me hyped nonetheless fuck yeah let’s go

IIDA ANGST

Iida Tenya really said “fuck the uniform code, we’re leaving the helmet at home today.” sorry kids, prim and proper C-3PO Comic Relief Iida has left the building. can I interest you in some Serious Iida

meanwhile Kacchan is all “sup Deku, I heard you got a few more quirks, and might I just add that you look like the Snyder Cut of Detective Pikachu”

“you look like a tarred and feathered squid” okay easy there Kacchan. I mean it’s all true of course, but still

“thank you all for coming” OH EXCUSE ME SON, WERE YOU PLANNING ON GOING SOMEWHERE. LET’S JUST SEE HOW THAT PLAYS OUT

yep and there’s Smokescreen, right on cue

okay Horikoshi, I leave it in your hands. hopefully you can come up with some more interesting combos than my dumbass predictions lol

LOL THIS ISN’T A COMBO AT ALL

“explosions solve everything” -- Horikoshi Kouhei, 2021. something something shockwave, something something handwave ta-da no more smoke. lol okay then

oh, ouch

he would know, wouldn’t he. nice application of one of your many hard-earned life lessons, Kacchan

by the way you guys, just as an experiment, I’m going to try to anticipate some of the discourse this week in the hopes of preemptively addressing it and thus saving myself some time later on lol. so here’s our first test run!

ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “oh my god what a fucking hypocrite can you believe this fucking guy”

PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: it’s precisely because Kacchan has been in this exact situation himself that he’s able to recognize his past self in Deku now and call him out on it. just because it took him sixteen years to get it through his head that he can’t accomplish every single thing completely by himself doesn’t mean Deku has to go down that same path. so yeah, maybe it is a bit hypocritical, but if you insist that the only people qualified to call out stupid shit are people who have never done a single stupid thing in their own lives, then what you’re basically saying is that absolutely no one on earth is qualified lol. so yeah, I’d have to disagree

and one last unrelated note, I’m willing to bet the whole “you didn’t even say a word before you ran off” thing is possibly the first thing Kacchan’s said in this whole encounter that actually does stem from genuine hurt rather than his tough-love-harsh-truths strategy. I’M TAKING NOTES HERE HORIKOSHI. at this rate it’ll take twice as many chapters as DvK2 for them to hash out all the stuff between them, geez

anyway so I gotta say, so far Deku vs. Class A is looking an awful lot like a DvK3 wearing a hat, trenchcoat, and sunglasses lol

OH SHIT I TAKE IT BACK??

FUCK YEAH, YOU GO KOUDA. and I guess he ditched his mask as well! excellent

so far the strategy here seems to be “Kacchan says all the mean tough love shit while the rest of 1-A balances it out with warmth and kindness”, which actually works pretty well imo. Deku is one of those people that doesn’t usually need a Kacchan Translator anyway, but just in case, this is very efficient

mm but of course Deku is slingshotting himself away with Blackwhip. all right then, who’s up next!

FUCK YEAH

okay but seriously you guys, what is going on with Sero’s face in these last couple of chapters though, it’s really starting to unnerve me. is he trying to emulate Kacchan’s whole asymmetrical facial expressions thing?

in fact let me just quickly hit pause here because,

ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “SERO IS TOGA??!”

PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: no

oh snap looks like Jirou’s getting in on the action too!

poor Jirou probably spent days racking her brain trying to think of something she could bond with Deku over. is Horikoshi doing these in reverse order of the kids who have had the most interaction with him? that would explain why poor Kouda didn’t get a flashback lol

omg. well that answers that

so by my count, Satou and Hagakure are the only ones remaining in this first tier of kids who Still Appreciate Midoriya even though they’ve barely ever spoken two words to him in their lives lol. so they’ll probably be next, and then we’ll get to the next tier of kids who are pretty good friends with him but not quite besties. and then we’ll move on to the IidaRokiRaka trio, and then lastly, to the boy who is in a tier all his own

BUT FIRST, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR

and by “sponsor” I mean the Dekuangst. just in case that wasn’t clear. indeed, many thanks to the Dekuangst for making this all possible

(ETA: okay so this whole “take me away” line seemed pretty weird to me, and sure enough it’s yet another one of those cases where only the verb is specified, and the object is left to the reader’s interpretation. so even though the translation says “take me away”, I’m pretty sure that what Deku’s actually saying is “take you away” -- as in, his loved ones will be taken away by AFO.

and that is literally the way he phrases it, though -- the verb used is “奪う” (ubau), meaning “to snatch away; to dispossess; to steal.” which, god, that hurts my whole goddamn heart though, because for him to say it like that?? not “AFO will kill you”, but “AFO will take you away from me.” he can’t have nice things anymore because of AFO. he can’t be around the people he loves because AFO will hurt them. he can’t have happiness because AFO will take it away from him. anyway so where the fuck is AFO right now, motherfucker I just want to talk.)

by the way can Ojiro just extend his tail to whatever fucking length he wants or what because it’s like twelve feet long in this panel lol

WOOO FUCK YEAH TOKOYAMI

YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!! BUT WHERE’S YOUR FLASHBACK? YOU’VE HAD A BUNCH OF INTERACTIONS WITH HIM, THAT’S NOT FAIR

okay so now Satou’s stepping in which is back to my anticipated order, so maybe Toko will finish his little moment afterward

dskfjfkk

“REMEMBER THAT TIME DEKU BORROWED SATOU’S FOOD COLORING” Horikoshi says, sweating. “AND REMEMBER THAT TIME HE, UM, SMILED IN HAGAKURE’S GENERAL DIRECTION”

actually I am curious about what Hagakure’s part will be because, you know, the whole traitor thing lol

(ETA: funny how we just skipped right over it huh. can we get a traitor reveal countdown started here? definitely getting close to that time.)

whoa lol wtf

MOMO??? THIS HAS MOMO WRITTEN ALL OVER IT DAMMIT

-- SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK

“SORRY MIDORIYA-SAN, I LEFT MY FUCKING CHILL AT HOME IN THE LOCKER NEXT TO IIDA’S HELMET” holy shit lmao

and here I thought she’d get a flashback to her time on the Baku Rescue Squad or something. but nope, no flashbacks from Momo, only terrifying sci-fi torture devices

poor Dark Shadow is such a trooper omg

“why am I the only one who has to make prolonged contact with his smelly disgusting self” taking one for the team there DS

FUCK YEAH KAMINARI NO JUTSU

THE PRICKLY BASTARD WHISPERER STRIKES AGAIN!! don’t suppose you brought any clean clothes you could sneakily force him into huh Kami

okay here we go, so now Shouji and Tokoyami are joining forces

um excuse me this is fucking awesome

wonder how he’ll break free? don’t think he’ll reveal Fa Jin until the end of the chapter, so maybe Air Force or something? idk

TOKO GETS AN EXTENDED MOMENT BECAUSE HE IS A TIER TWO PATREON REWARD LEVEL FRIEND YAY

WHY IS MOMO MAKING THIS FACE LOL YOUR THING WAS WAY WORSE

and Shouji just casually hitting him with what is easily the best comment from anyone yet. too bad Deku’s just gonna ignore it. you deserve better Shouji

KAMINARI OMFG

it only just occurred to me that Kami is currently trapped inside Dark Shadow right along with him lmao omg. realest one in the entirety of BnHA, right here. we will never forget your sacrifice

aaaaaaand Deku’s yeeting himself

do you really hate the thought of taking a bath that much my dude

oh shit the mask!!

-- oh shit the feels

o(TヘTo)

fuck. and I mean, we knew he was crying, that was a done deal. but still, to see him in this much pain is just...

and the acknowledgement that he knows they’re worried about him, but that it doesn’t change his mind one bit. this, right here, is why they have to be a bit harsh with him, you guys. because they’re up against the full, unbridled stubbornness of Midoriya fucking Izuku, and if they don’t match that stubbornness with an equal stubbornness of their own, they basically don’t stand a chance

(ETA: quick note that there is apparently another mistranslation here -- rather than saying that his friends are oblivious to the danger, what Deku is actually saying is that none of his friends have activated his Danger Sense once throughout this entire fight. which I had been wondering about, and it turns out Horikoshi actually confirmed it. so basically none of the kids bears any ill intent toward him, and there’s literal proof right there.

incidentally, as @class1akids​ pointed out, this also casts an interesting light on this chapter in terms of who hasn’t fought Deku yet. not to play the Hagakure Traitor Music for the billionth time you guys, but I’M JUST SAYING lol.)

anyway, but the good news is that they all seem to understand that. and the even better news is that we have reached the tier 3 friends!!

“OR ELSE” lol, great to see Shouto wielding his friendship just as aggressively as Deku once did towards him. I do love a good role reversal

p.s., ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “why is Shouto being so cruel to Deku can’t he see how hard this is on him”

PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: this is a callback to the classic “even heroes cry when they have to” Shouto line from chapter 137. Shouto is clearly following Kacchan’s lead here and going for the more ruthless approach, knowing that the gentle approach isn’t getting through to him (if anything it’s only making him more stubborn as we saw on the previous page). basically it’s his way of pointing out that even heroes are still only human, and so is Deku last time he checked

ah okay, and there Tsuyu is at last

okay real talk, I get why Tsuyu is included in the tier 3 friends, because she was one of the first people to team up with Deku going all the way back to USJ. but that said, this probably would have had more impact if their most recent interaction hadn’t been like 150 chapters ago

but anyway though it’s still a good speech. maybe not quite a cliffhanger-level speech, but a good speech nonetheless. in a way though, I’m glad to see that Horikoshi seemingly didn’t give a fuck whether he ended this on an actual cliffhanger or not for once

and that “headed toward the climax” part has me excited too, ngl. because if we really are getting to the so-called climax this soon, that makes me even more certain that there is indeed a DvK3 in the forecast. so I presume that next week (or I guess two weeks from now) will be the tier 3s along with the remaining tier 2s like Kirishima and Aoyama

and then after that, well... [orange and green banners being hoisted] [sound of screeching airhorns and vuvuzelas in the distance] [sound of All Might approaching in his car which I didn’t notice until I looked back at this page a second time whoops] THE PROPHECY WILL NOT BE DENIED

[breeeliss]

[TLOU]: kiss the blood off my cheek

god i haven’t written fic in so long i forgot how i used to format these 

uh, idk if anyone who still hangs here is still into the last of us, but i’ve had an ellabs fic stuck in my head for months and i’ve read through the entire ship tag like 5 times lmao. definitely still a little rusty, but i’m a sucker for “enemies to reluctant partners to friends to lovers.” 

—

Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

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Title: kiss the blood off my cheek Pairing: Ellabs (Ellie Williams x Abby Anderson)  Summary: Abby isn’t able to escape Santa Barbara without the Rattlers kidnapping Lev again. She’s facing a long, arduous trek across California to get him back, and it’s something she can’t do alone. Luckily, Ellie has some bad karma to wash off her hands.

—

prologue + chapter 1

—

Abby thought a lot about how she would kill Joel. 

Whenever her thumbs passed over the face of a state quarter, the choreography would unravel in her head — the only bedtime story she ever told herself that actually helped her to sleep. 

It wasn’t until she killed her first Clicker — felt how warm and human the blood was as it splattered across her face — that she realized how easy it was to kill monsters. All it took was some scotch tape, a broken office scissor, and two good stabs. If she got stronger, she could kill Joel with her bare hands. Maybe even draw it out with a clear head and a steady heart. 

But when Joel’s skill cracked under Abby’s golf club, she felt just like she did when she killed infected and kicked their dead bodies with the soles of her boots. Absolutely nothing.

The only thing she received for her efforts was Ellie’s promise to kill her in return. 

It’s that familiar nothingness that Abby sees in Ellie’s eyes as she stares up through the murky water and struggles to pry her hands loose from her neck. Abby doesn’t have enough food in her stomach or fire in her blood to fight like she used to. As her legs spasm in a fruitless panic, she wonders whether Ellie will look down at her like she looked down at Joel. She wonders if this will help her. She wonders if Lev will wake up and continue their grisly work. 

She wonders if this is how all life ends. At the hands of those you helped destroy. 

Abby slips, and for a moment revels in a guilty jolt of joy at the possibility of meeting Owen and her father at the other end of the fog. But the pressure is released, and her body forces rank, salty sea air into her lungs as she scrambles to her feet with her fists raised. Another blow doesn’t come. Ellie sits in the water, sobbing as she cradles her bleeding fingers. She doesn’t get back up to fight, only screams for Abby to take Lev and leave. 

It would be easy to take advantage of the momentary weakness and just kill Ellie for good. But the pathetic slope of Ellie’s shoulders — so at odds with the ferocity she wielded as she hunted Abby in the Seattle theater — makes her pause. Ellie looks emptied of all that had kept her smiling. Abby knows that despair, and Abby knows what she swore when she washed Joel’s blood off her arms: never again. 

There are gunshots and explosions from the Rattlers’ camp, but Abby doesn’t register what they mean until she sees someone rush Ellie from behind and tackle her back into the water, the butt of their rifle poised high to crack open her face. Suddenly, half a dozen men are spilling onto the beach with weapons drawn, and Abby feels the panic in her veins snap her head towards Lev — still unconscious in the boat just a few yards away. 

She stands to her feet only to crumple pathetically back into the water, watching too much blood from her too-many knife wounds pool around her. The salt water makes everything hurt, and her stomach is begging to empty itself despite having had nothing inside it for days. But Lev is weak. Lev has no weapons. Lev is alone. Lev is all she has left. 

Everything screams when she scrambles for the boat, and she’s a couple of inches away from grabbing the edge before a bullet splinters the wood. Abby doesn’t get a moment to duck behind the boat before there’s another Rattler coming at her left with a metal pipe raised high above his head. She misses the swing by a millisecond, and crashes the heel of her foot into his kneecap until he buckles and gives her a chance to overpower him. 

But Abby isn’t strong like she used to be, and it’s the most horrific realization in the world because while she struggles to snatch the pipe from the Rattler, she can see two more ransacking the boats by the shore and lifting Lev by the sleeve of his shirt. 

“Don’t you fucking touch— !” she starts to scream, before the end of the pipe connects with her jaw. Abby goes down again, vision blurred and totally disoriented. She feels the broad end of the pipe come down on her back, and she spits up blood from the blow. The salt water stings her eyes, and Abby can do nothing but reach up blindly to grab at the pipe before it comes down on her again. Although, at that point, it might be over. Abby’s body is spitting out the last of its fumes and she’s not sure if she can keep going. 

She’s bracing for another blow until she sees blood spray out from her attacker’s eye socket and fall lifeless into the water next to her. Abby blinks, scrambles for his weapon, and is almost positive she sees Ellie poised a few yards away with a rifle pointed right where the Rattler once stood. Abby’s brain doesn’t have enough time to put all those pieces together and simply takes a blessing where she can get it. She books it for the boat again, pushing her body harder, begging for a spark of luck that’s just small enough to get her and Lev out of here once and for all. 

Lev is being dragged from the boat by two Rattlers, and Abby is almost there to deal one of them a crushing blow to the skull before she receives her own to the back of the head. She isn’t sure who managed to sneak up on her or what exactly brought her down, but down she goes. Her face crashes into the wet sand on the edge of the shore, and the tide floods her sinuses with water. Everything is going spotty and dark, but Abby can see Lev being thrown over someone’s shoulder and hiked back up the beach and towards the Rattlers’ camp. There’s confusion, explosions, fire, more gunshots, and the sounds of dozens of people dying, but it all disappears around Lev. 

“ Lev —!” Abby screams out, but the tide pulls in again and drowns out her scream. She can’t get up. She can’t breathe. Her nausea finally bubbles up and leaves her vomiting into the sand, her limbs useless and her consciousness going. 

Abby knows she’s dying, but it’s funny what your brain will make space for in your last moments. Because Lev is the only thing she can see with any clarity. Lev is the only person that matters. Lev is all that she has left, and she isn’t quite sure she wants to find out what kind of person would be left behind if Lev was taken from her too. 

So every last drop of strength she has goes towards making the face of the man carrying Lev away clear in her mind — his hair, his missing right ear, the scar across his left eye, and the tattoo crawling across his neck. It’s all there, and it makes a familiar evil rise in her chest. One that she thought she left dead. One that powered her through dozens of sleepless nights, following leads, listening for Joel’s name, following the trail of bodies he left behind him until she had his brains spilled across her boots. She falls unconscious with one last thought filling her mind. 

I’ll fucking kill you. 

.x.

Abby is brought back to herself violently — so violently that it whips her head to the side and leaves her face burning. Everything hurts and her senses aren’t coming back as quickly as they should be, but her new assailant doesn’t seem to care. The pain comes again — and she realizes now that someone is slapping her — but the sounds come to her slowly and in pieces. 

“— ake… uck up!” she hears. There are gunshots still whizzing through the air, but three coming from right next to her silence the back and forth. That voice comes back, grabbing at her cheeks and lifting her eyelids open until they’re assaulted with light that’s too bright. “— ake up, Abby! We don’t fucking have time for this.” 

There’s sand underneath her, but the water isn’t lapping against her face anymore and she doesn’t feel the waves pulling her in. So she’s on the beach? Lev. The boats. Where was Lev? 

“One thing at a time,” the voice responds, and Abby must really be out of it if she didn’t realize she was speaking aloud. She’s been tugged backwards, and it takes her a moment to realize that it’s the voice pulling her up the beach and away from the water. Away from the boats. Away from Lev. “Can you walk?” 

Walking…her ribs are either bruised or broken, her back is killing her, and her head feels like it’s about to explode. Abby pushes herself forward to roll onto her front, but her hands slip in the wet sand when she tries to rise up to her knees. There’s shouting again. It’s distant, but Abby knows that won’t be for long. This voice is trying to get her off the beach, but Abby is five seconds from passing out again. 

“Fuck me,” and the voice grabs one of her arms. Another is wrapping around Abby’s waist. “Alright, on three, you’re gonna give me as big a push off the ground as you can, okay?” 

Abby tries, she really does, but it’s a pathetic push that causes the voice to pick up most of the slack to heave her to her feet. Abby stumbles and leans heavily into the body propping her up, but she’s standing and she’s being forced forward. 

“Lev…” Abby mutters into the stranger’s shoulder. 

“I need you to fucking think, okay?” the voice says, ignoring her. “You were with them for months. Do they have a medical center they’re hiding out in? A triage tent? Anything with medical supplies?” 

Abby feels her brow crease. She knows that voice. Oh, she definitely knows that voice, and this voice definitely isn’t a Rattler. Her bare feet are tripping up a short flight of stone stairs and she blinks rapidly to pull her vision together. She sees short, red hair and a freckled face, and her blood grows hot. 

“You fucking bit—!” but the curse is cut off by a wave of nausea that leaves her spilling bile onto the carpets. Carpets. They’re inside. They’re going backwards . 

“Kill me later,” the girl — Boston girl, immune girl, Ellie — grunts, readjusting Abby against her. “Answer my question.” 

They’re back in one of the beach houses, where the holding cells used to be, where Abby and Lev were starving for weeks. But the cells are busted wide open as they pass, and there are fresh bodies bleeding out into the hallways. Ellie keeps pushing them forward, languishing through the effort and looking like she’s no further away from collapsing than Abby is. Abby looks down and can feel blood seeping into her clothes and running down her side. Some of it is definitely coming from her shoulder after Ellie buried her knife in it. But not all of it. She can see the blood gushing from Ellie’s side. 

Ellie pushes a door open with her foot and looks both ways down the hall. They head left, and Abby focuses on keeping one foot in front of the other. “They…they mentioned a hospital they were clearing out. Gonna make it a med base. Don’t know where it is.” 

“Good enough.” Ellie lifts Abby’s chin up and gestures to the open rooms sprawled out to the side. “I need you to keep an eye out, I can’t carry you and watch my back at the same time.” 

Abby trips over another body that looks like it took a shotgun shell straight through the jaw. They’ve tried this before, planning an escape and unleashing hell on this entire base. Their numbers were too large and Abby and Lev didn’t have enough strength or weapons to be able to take on the task on their own. An uprising like this wouldn’t have been possible without help, and Abby knew first hand how much Ellie was willing to go through to make sure she saw Abby dead. How singularly lethal she could be. 

She’s now the only thing keeping Abby upright. 

It’s an excruciating drag outside, but it’s a ghost town of fire and distant gunshots that makes moving through the base and towards their lot of militarized trucks uneventful. Ellie is looking around, and Abby asks again, “Tell me where Lev is.” 

To her credit, the look Ellie gives her feels soft with something, like there’s a crueler answer she could give and doesn’t want to. “I’m taking you to him.” 

Ellie is eyeing a truck with the keys still in the ignition and three men hurriedly stocking the back with whatever supplies they were able to scrounge together. She ducks them behind a pile of crates and pulls a pistol with a sloppily made silencer screwed on from her back pocket. Ellie’s hand is far from steady, and it takes her an agonizing few seconds to line up her shot and take them out with two clean shots. Her third bullet ricochets off the hood of the car, and suddenly they’re under automatic fire. 

Abby drops to the concrete as Ellie digs through her pack one handed — and, ah, right, she sees Ellie’s bloodied, stinking wrappings around her left hand and remembers that she did indeed do that back there — and pulls out a molotov. Ellie kicks her lighter to Abby. “Light it and give it to me.” 

The remaining Rattler is radioing in about two runaways, and Abby knows they’re running out of time so she doesn’t question the command. She quickly lights a flame at the end of the rag, and watches as Ellie tosses a well aimed shot right at the Rattler’s feet. His wails fill the air and Ellie doesn’t wait for his body to fall to the ground before she drags Abby to the truck. 

Ellie flings the passenger door open and shoves Abby unceremoniously inside, and it’s then that she feels how sore, raw, and throbbing that short walk has left her. She needs to rest. She needs sleep. She needs to find Lev but fuck she still feels like she’s about to die. The blood from her shoulder is staining the seat underneath her, and the truck jolts with the force of Ellie closing the driver’s side door behind her. 

The reprieve barely lasts as Abby hears open fire clanging against the side of the truck, and Ellie is cursing up an absolute storm next to her. “ Fuck me , where are they coming from!?” 

The car is moving, but Abby feels herself going out again. Her head is pounding, her stomach is churning, and she feels a clammy sweat beading on her forehead.

“Abby!” Ellie shouts. “This is a really bad time to die if that’s what you’re doing.” 

More bullets. Ellie is rolling down the window and aiming with her last few shots as she peels the truck forward. Abby’s losing it all again. 

She feels herself slip under, the sound of Ellie’s screaming echoing back into nothing. 

.x.

The next time Abby comes to, she’s in a bed under a blanket. 

Weirdly, the first thing she notices is that she’s ravenous, but her stomach isn’t trying to upturn its contents and she’ll take that as a win. She blinks awake to find everything around her focusing with clarity, and the banging migraine she had after taking so many hits to the face has quieted down to a gentle hum of pain that Abby can thankfully ignore. 

She pushes herself up onto her elbows and winces at the pain in her shoulder. It’s wrapped up neatly in bandages, and the rest of the cuts and gashes she notices are patched up with tape and gauze. She peeks under the bandages and sees the knife wound neatly stitched up, and there’s a hazy memory of her jolting awake and feeling when that happened. 

Abby swings her legs over the edge of what she realizes is actually just a gurney sat in the middle of a long, dark hallway and feels her body protest. She’s bruised all over for sure, but she palpates her side and luckily nothing feels broken. Battered, sure, but Abby can endure through that. She’s grit her teeth through worse. 

The rooms across from her look like ones that were used to triage patients before being funneled through the maze of the emergency room. There are industrial lights looped along the ceiling from the ER entrance to about halfway down the hall before they stop abruptly. If she pauses to listen closely enough, she can hear the clicks of Infected in the distance. Infected that hopefully won’t find their way down here.

“Oh good, you’re awake.” 

Abby spins around and finally sees Ellie in all of her clarity. She’s sitting in a wheeled chair, leaning out of one of the triage rooms, and looks like absolute and utter shit. Abby really must have gotten a lot of good punches in because most of Ellie’s bruises look horrific. There’s the beginnings of adrenaline pumping into her chest, and she’s prepared for a fight almost immediately until she remembers that someone who wanted her dead wouldn’t have dragged her out of her grave and patched her up. 

She doesn’t have time to be confused before Ellie reaches into her pocket and tosses something Abby’s way. She catches it instinctively, realizing that it’s an expired protein bar. 

“You should eat something,” Ellie advises, rolling back into the triage room. “You’ve been out for a while.” 

Static and chatter are spilling from the room, and when Abby rounds the corner she finds Ellie crouched over what looks to be an old radio hooked up to the generator that must be running through this floor of the hospital. She’s hearing screams, code words, and talks of runaway uprisings, and Ellie scribbles something onto one of the endless pages of notepad paper that are spread out over an old operating table. There’s a very grisly bowl filled with fresh, blood soaked bandages at her feet that her boot is rhythmically tapping against as she munches on her own snack. 

Ellie turns her head again, seeing Abby linger in the doorway. She’s pouring a bottle of pills out in her hand as she talks. “You weren’t kidding when you said they hadn’t cleared this place out. There’s antibiotics in here, can you believe it?” 

The tone is too casual, and Abby is eager to ruin it. “What the fuck are you doing?” 

“Trying not to die.” She pops a few pills in her mouth and swallows them dry. “Sure you don’t want any? They’re for sure expired, but they’re yummy.” 

Abby growls, “Don’t fuck with me. What are you doing?” 

Ellie rolls her eyes. Her foot hooks onto one of the wheeled chairs in the room and kicks it in Abby’s direction. “Sit.” 

“I’m not sitting with you like we’re buddies, or are we forgetting the part where you almost fucking killed me back there? I told you—” 

“If I wanted you dead, you’d be dead. Sit.” 

“You tell me where Lev is first,” Abby insists. 

“I think you know where the kid is…” 

She does — she remembers it, she saw it, so clear in her mind, his face so clear — but there was still a weak hope that Ellie somehow had something to do with it. Or that Ellie pulling her hands off her throat and shooting down Rattlers to save her was just some long handed way of killing Lev just to make Abby hurt worse than she already did. Because the alternative is infinitely worse, and Abby never thought that there would be a worse reality than Ellie getting her hands on the last thing she has left. 

If Lev is back with the Rattlers… 

“Get me the fuck out of here. I’m going to get him.” 

“Hold your horses, you idiot, you don’t even know where he is.” 

Abby rushes her, but Ellie doesn’t blink when her face is three inches from her own. “I don’t care!! The longer he’s with them, the higher the chances are that they’re going to finish killing him. I know what these people do, I know what sick fucking games they play, and I’m going to fucking rip them apart if I find out they hurt him.” 

“You couldn’t stand on your own two days ago, what the fuck do you think you’re going to do now?” 

“It’s been two days!?” 

“You could’ve died!” Ellie shouted back. “The two of us aren’t going to be able to do this if you’re upchucking every five seconds because of a blow to the head.” 

“What do you mean ‘us’? What’s ‘this’?” 

Ellie kicked the chair again. “Would you fucking chill out and listen to me?” 

Abby scoffed. “Why should I stay here and listen to a single thing that’s about to come out of your mouth?” 

“Alright,” Ellie laughs, and leans her elbows on her knees. “You’re fucked up. You’re weak. You have no weapons. You could barely fight your way out of that camp, let alone fight your way out of me. You have no idea where they took this kid. No idea how many guys they’ve got. No idea which direction to even go in. Even if you did manage to find out where he is, you have no plan for what you’re going to do when you get there. You’re dead in a day, at best, if you don’t sit down and shut up for five minutes.” 

Oh, God, there’s a punch brewing in her fists, and Abby so badly wants to dip back into that anger that fueled her in the theater and knock a few of her teeth out. Because she doesn’t understand. Because she took away everything she had and she’s about to make Abby lose the last little bit of light that’s been keeping her happy. Because she tried to kill her again, and maybe she wouldn’t be wincing against the strain of her open wounds if she’d just done as Abby asked and stayed away from her. 

But Ellie saved her. She’d be dead if Ellie hadn’t come to kill her. She’d be dead if Ellie hadn’t dragged her half dead all the way here. 

Abby relents and straddles the back of the chair that Ellie had offered her, keeping a few feet’s worth of distance if only to prove a petty point. “Where are we?” 

“A hospital a little east of Goleta,” Ellie explains. “Found a note on the dashboard of their truck listing out all the supplies they were assigned to get. There’s still Infected further back in those wings that are blocked off, but they hooked up generators through the emergency room like they were planning on sweeping the place clean.” 

Abby’s brow goes up. “And you dragged both of us in here?” 

“It was a skeleton crew when I got here, just four guys. They sent most of their men to Santa Barbara to clean up and no one has bothered coming around here. You’ve been pretty out of it, so I’ve been here by myself making sure we didn’t die. Had to fucking burn my fingers on my own and everything.” 

At Abby’s confused stare, Ellie holds up her left hand where the stumps of her pinky and ring finger are heavily bandaged. “They wouldn’t stop bleeding. Had to cauterize them. Thanks, by the way, I’ve been munching on painkillers and antibiotics since I got here.” 

“Good,” Abby snarls, “I hope it fucking hurts.” 

Ellie narrows her eyes, but doesn’t take the bait. “Get over here.” 

The notepad notes spread out all over the table are hiding a map of California that Ellie has marked up in a way not dissimilar to the map of Seattle that Abby had used to track her down. There are a lot of circles, a lot of question marks, and a lot of arrows curving down the coast. 

“So they chatter on a lot of these local frequencies, and I’ve been keeping track of what they say on each one. A lot of them I think are bait, you know, supposed sanctuaries, fake supply exchanges, pretending to be other groups, shit like that.” 

Abby rakes a hand through her ruined hair. “Yeah, they fucked me with one of those too.” 

Ellie hunts around for a pile of papers that she slides in front of Abby. They’re all covered in an incomprehensible amalgam of words that are crossed out, pointing to others, and have lists to accompany each of them. “There are a couple that they actually use for communicating with each other, but they use a lot of codewords, so it’s been taking me forever to figure it all out. Things got really bad back there, so they’re totally abandoning their Santa Barbara base and taking all their shit with them.”

Abby leans over to stare at the map. “So they’re gone?” 

Ellie points to a spot on the map. “Yeah, so this is Santa Barabara. They call this The Nest, base of operations. But they’re basically crawling all over this area, they keep mentioning Goleta and Montecito as their ‘hunting grounds.’” Her finger moves slightly to the left. “We’re here, right outside of Goleta. I took the local roads along the interstate, but you can tell they’ve been clearing out the roads like they’re working their way up the coast to take up more turf.” Ellie traces the shoreline, moving south. “They’re moving everyone out of The Nest and keep mentioning a haul of runaways with their cargo that they’re pushing south. I’m assuming Lev is part of that cargo.” 

“South where?” 

Ellie’s finger stops on a sprawling city. “They’re regrouping in Los Angeles. Somewhere East of Hollywood and Beverly Hills, that’s all I’ve got. I was hoping you’d be able to fill in some blanks once you woke up.” 

Abby rubs at her temples, almost hoping it’ll shake something that she half-heard loose. “I have no idea what’s in LA, they never mentioned it before. The only thing I know for sure is who took Lev.” 

Ellie’s eyes widen in interest. “You know what they look like?” 

His face flashes in her memory with near perfect clarity. “It’s a guy. Young, but older than us. Fucked up. Missing an ear. Scar on his face. Tattoo. I could pick him out easy.” 

“That’s a start,” Ellie shrugs, “worth listening out for. Anything else?” 

Abby eyes fall back to the map, this time grabbing for the pen on the table and uncapping it with her teeth. She draws a line from their current location to a town just a few miles short of a long stretch of mountains and state parks that separate the northern coast from Los Angeles. “I used to hear them talk about this place. Ventura. They’ve been taking boats here and carving it out for supplies. Food, ammo, clothes, shit like that.” 

“Ventura…” Ellie mutters, staring back at her notes. “They never mentioned it, but they’re probably using a codeword for it. Makes sense if it’s got as many supplies as you’re saying.” 

“Do you know if they took boats when they mentioned going to LA?” 

“Nah, they’re on the road. Too much to take by boat.” 

“How’s that truck doing?” 

Ellie snorts. “Fucked to all hell, I barely got it here. Probably not a good idea to stay on the roads anyway. But I’m betting there’s still some boats beached back by those mansions.” 

“Perfect. I’ll stock up in Ventura and head to LA.” 

Ellie counts a few thumb lengths between Santa Barabara and Ventura. “That’s a good 30 miles…” 

Owen’s boat could’ve handled that trip and then some, but Abby sincerely doubts it’s still beached where she and Lev left it. “On a couple of tanks of gas, those boats can take it.” 

“I passed a few cars and some gas tanks on the way here. No idea if there’s anything in them, but worth a try. They kept a canister and a siphon hose in the truck.” 

Good enough. “Weapons?” 

Ellie reaches under the operating table and pulls out a semi-auto rifle not unlike the ones that Abby used to favor whenever she was sent on assignment for Isaac. Abby checks the mag— not a lot of ammo, but something was something — while Ellie slides her a smaller pistol still slipped into its holster. “Swiped some from the truck. Plenty of medical supplies to keep us going for a while.” 

Abby slowly looks up from the gun. “You keep saying ‘us’…” 

Ellie’s tongue is pushing against the side of her cheek like it’s killing her to say what’s pushing right against her teeth. She ends up not being able to say it without staring down into her lap. “I’m gonna have to go with you.” 

“Like fuck you are,” Abby snarls. 

“Listen, I don’t like it either” Ellie bites back. “But do I need to lay out your odds again?” 

“I don’t need you to do shit. I don’t need your help, and I’m definitely not roughing it with you.” 

Ellie’s hand comes down on the barrel of the rifle right as Abby moves to swing it over her shoulder. “Lev is going to die if you go by yourself,” she explains. “ You are going to die if you go by yourself.” 

Abby tries to yank the gun back, but Ellie’s grip is unrelenting. “That’s rich coming from the bitch that hiked all the way to California just to kill me.” 

“You’re alive and sitting here because of me,” and Ellie looks so self important as she says it, like Abby should be throwing herself on the floor and licking her boots clean for a favor that she never asked for. Like Ellie is some savior that was plucked out of space and put right in front of Abby’s nose and not some disgusting specter that won’t leave her be, that will keep destroying whatever small pockets of peace she’s able to carve out for herself. 

It makes Abby want to hurt her again, and when her hand closes around a surgical tray sitting on the table and flings it towards Ellie’s head, she’s even more angry when Ellie ducks out of the way and answers with a raised revolver. 

Abby’s quick to lift her rifle, and her voice cracks against her screaming. “I told you to stay away from me! You threatened him and backed me into a corner and I lost him because of you. You did this. And now you want to turn this into a goddamn field trip? Fuck you, Ellie.” 

“I’m not trying to be your friend, you idiot,” Ellie says — calm, measured, but hands trembling. “I’m trying to make sure he doesn’t die. You’re right. He doesn’t deserve this, and I want to fix it.” 

Abby’s finger teases the trigger of her gun. “You’re a little late. Besides, why the fuck would you possibly want to help him? Give me one good reason why I should trust anything you say.”

“Put your fucking gun down!” 

“Answer my question!” 

Ellie rolls her eyes and moves so quickly that Abby really does almost pull her finger and let a bullet fly, but it’s to toss her gun on the floor and lift her hands clear in the air, a mirror of how Abby had found her in Seattle. Abby doesn’t trust it and keeps her rifle raised high. 

“Listen, I get it,” she begins, and Ellie has to swallow a couple of times before she finds the words she wants. “It’s not my first or tenth choice. But…I saw him hold you back. Dina is alive with a big, fat, happy baby because of him, I didn’t forget that.”  

Abby remembers the girl that had rushed her in the theater — the pregnant girl. The girl she almost killed in Mel’s honor. The girl Lev thanked Abby afterwards for not killing. 

“He’s a good kid,” Ellie continues. “I only threatened him to get you to fight, and that was nasty, I know. But these people are beyond fucked, Abby, you know that. They will kill him if we don’t kill them first.” 

It’s either them or us, Isaac used to tell Abby every time he slapped her with bigger, more important assignments that always reduced down to the same goal — kill anything before it kills us first. Isaac made justice sound so beautiful and so righteous, and it always felt deserved until Abby couldn’t shake the thought of Lev poised over his sister’s unconscious body with one bow, six arrows, and an army of Wolves waiting to destroy his life all because he was trying to keep his own safe. The difference between right and wrong, between your people and theirs, was so muddy now that Abby didn’t even want to bother parsing it out. 

She just wanted Lev — Lev, who helped her feel like a better person.

Abby shut her eyes and finally lowered her rifle. Ellie was right, and that reality just made her bones feel heavy. “I told him I was tired of killing people,” she mutters. 

“These people are sadists, they deserve to die—”

“That’s not what I mean,” Abby sighs. “We were going to go somewhere safe where neither of us would have to do this again. I was supposed to take him somewhere safe.” 

“And you will.” Ellie reaches out slowly, and Abby lets her take the rifle from her before setting it gently on the table. “But you have to get him back first, and you have to do this smart.” 

Abby snorts. “Going in with two people is far from smart.” 

“But going in with a plan is.” Ellie shuffles through the transmission notes and pulls out a notebook that was buried underneath it all. She flips to a fresh page and starts writing. “We need gas. Ammo. A couple of days of food. More guns. And any supplies that we can scrounge up. We’ll take what we can from here, scrape out whatever’s left in Santa Barbara, and clean out Ventura. Stay along the coast, save our strength up for LA, and then we’ll hit them hard when they’re not expecting it. The two of us can handle that.” 

There are a lot of variables missing, and that’s assuming a stellar performance from them both when the two of them have very likely seen better days. But it’s a plan, and Abby does feel better knowing they have one. “When do we leave?” 

“Depends, how do you feel?” 

“Like shit,” Abby shrugs, “but I can walk and shoot and that’s what matters.” 

“Then let’s give it a couple of hours. They’re still pulling in units south, so once I stop hearing chatter nearby we’ll head out.” Ellie digs into her jean pockets and pulls out a couple of plastic bottles of unmarked pills. “Eat. Take your medicine. Seriously, I like actually fucked your shoulder up pretty bad.” 

Abby rolls her eyes, but can’t ignore just how hungry and in pain she is. She’s ripping into her protein bar with her teeth and taking a bite when she asks, “If we’re gonna do this, I need you to swear me something.” 

Ellie leans back and turns up the volume of the radio, but nods her head. “Okay.” 

“Swear to me that this thing between us is done. I meant it, I’m not doing this anymore, but I will kill you if you try me again.” 

Ellie picks at the bandages around her two severed fingers. “You don’t have to worry about that. I stopped for a reason, so…I swear.” 

There’s a quiet in her voice that Abby can’t help but poke at. “Why’d you stop?” 

The answer comes slowly, and Ellie’s shoulders slope down in the same way they did when she had sat pathetically in the water, clutched her fingers, and curled inside herself. It reminded her too much of the first time Abby was left alone after she’d killed Joel. She took a hike a mile away, laid down in the snow, and cried until her tear tracks had frozen on her cheeks. She thought of her Dad, but she also thought about Ellie. Ellie, who she forced to watch it all happen and whose screams still stay stuck in her head when she dreams. It’s so tempting to know if someone else understood — if Ellie thought of someone when her fingers left Abby’s throat. 

“It wasn’t going to fix anything,” Ellie finally says, barely a whisper. “I’m tired of killing too.” 

That makes Abby’s heart sink. “We’re about to kill a lot of people.” 

“I know. But it’ll be to fix something important.” 

“But this isn’t your fight,” Abby explains. “You keep skipping over the fact that you could die too. That girl had her baby, didn’t she? Don’t you have people that are waiting for you, people to go back to? Why would you risk that?” 

Ellie’s chuckle is hollow, and the look she gives Abby makes it clear that she’s treading close to a sore wound. But it’s an answer Abby is owed if this is the path they’re planning on trodding, and she knows that Ellie understands this. “I lost everything that mattered. And what wasn’t taken from me, I ruined. Whoever I left behind to come after you isn’t waiting for me.” 

“So here you are?” 

Ellie nods. “I don’t know, I just…I feel like I need to win back some karma. Even it out, you know?” 

Lighten the load. Abby understands that. She can work with that for now. 

Her foot comes out and taps against the leg of Ellie’s chair. “You went through a lot to get me out of there. I didn’t thank you for that.” 

She gets a smug grin in return, but Abby can swallow her pride for a second if only so that this partnership of theirs works. But Ellie surprises her when she crosses the distance and holds her hand out in between them, a piece of her own pride in return. “I’ll swear you something else. I’ll help you do whatever you need done to get Lev back. You can put a bullet in me if I don’t make good on that. We’ll get these sons of bitches. Deal?” 

A handshake. Simple. Business. Abby can handle business, and she can handle a straightforward job where she knows exactly what she’s supposed to be shooting at. What she can’t handle is this distorted, gnarled mess that’s left in between them. The mess that involves too much blood, too much anger, and too many bodies. There’s things Abby could say, and she’s sure Ellie can find a lot to fling right back at her. But Ellie doesn’t seem interested in bringing it up, and Abby is more than happy to keep the past exactly where it was. 

Lev. This was for Lev. 

Abby keeps her shake firm and honest. “Alright then. Let’s do this.”

[george-fabian-weasley]

if we had 5 more minutes — f. w.

Summary: You thought you could save Fred from the rumbles of falling stones; you did your best, only to be in the rumbles with him instead.

Words: 2,160 words

Warnings ⚠ : ANGST, TW: Death, TW: Battle of Hogwarts, TW: war, TW: injuries, Fred died, you died, big Pain™, I strongly suggest tissues and a dozen of comfort chocolates, I cried so you will too, Basically An Emotional Rollercoaster, Read At Your Own Risk

Disclaimer: inspired by Billie Eilish's cover of The End of The World, so... ya'll know this is going to be a painful ride. Buckle up your seatbelts and enjoy. Reblogs and Comments are Highly Appreciated! <3 p/s: reading this with the song at the background really helps with the tear pouring effect ;)

Disclaimer 2.0: i know what yall are thinking... what tf is syaf doing, posting a fic when she’s in a hiatus she just posted yesterday? Also where is mad hatter chap 5 and epilogue? well, my brain likes to conjure up ideas at very inappropriate times (like rn) so bare with me and uh i’ve been really physically and mentally exhausted from work (retail is bathshit crazy) to write the mad hatter series so idk when will i update the two chapters but i’m working on it! thank you for being patient, and im sorry for causing you guys to wait for so long, ilysm don’t kill me <3 

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The end of the world.

The Battle of Hogwarts looked like the end of the world. Curses and spells thrown left to right, different kinds of bodies found at each corner and crook, walls here and there crumbling as down as hope for freedom. And blood.

At that point of time, the pools of blood on the floor look the same; pureblood or not. Because they bleed the same anguish red.

You didn't need to see the apocalypse of the world anymore. Screw the end of Mother Earth; this battle in front of your eyes was more than enough — sadly — to be your end of the world.

“Hey,” You called, causing Fred to turn his head around to your direction, his lips etched up a smile before replying with another hey. You sat next to him, the place where George had sat before he got up and left to speak with Professor Lupin.

Evil is winning, and good is losing. But then again, what difference would it make; if good kills as many as evil? At the end of the world, there is no good and evil alone. There are desperation, madness, and hunger for power, lust for victory brought along with them.

So, at the end of the world, you chose to be side by side with your lover, Fred Weasley. The red-headed dork you’ve taught yourself to pour your love into had become the very source of your life. He is your elixir, he is your soul, heart, and happiness.

It was silent for a while, none of you had anything to say. Yet the silence was comforting, with only the presence of each other as calming as it is. “Y/N,” Fred suddenly turned his head to you, biting his lower lip in contemplation. “Hm?” “Can you just stay at the Burrow?” 

You blinked, “What?” Fred sighed, “Can you just stay at the Burrow right now and not join the war? I- I don’t want you to join in-” “Fred-” “I-It’s dangerous and it’s literally a war a-and I don’t want you to get hurt I would- I would rather die than have you hurt-” 

“Fred!” You raised your voice, your hand clasping onto his securely, an effort to calm his frenzied thoughts. He stopped rambling and stared at you with those doe eyes you adored so much, “You know I can’t do that.”

“We need everyone on board for this war. I am no exception- bloody hell, even your parents are joining in, Freddie!” You tried to explain slowly, and Fred closed his eyes in denial of defeat. 

“I love you,” he suddenly blurted out. He noticed the slight fluster you had, your eyebrows were raised for a millisecond before they furrowed upon a realization, “Wait, why are you saying this now? I-“ “I love you, Y/N,” he repeated himself and you shook your head, realizing what he was doing, “Wait, hold on a minute, no-“

He was saying it in case anything happens.

“Y/N, I love you-” “Don’t you dare say it one more time like you’re not gonna make it, Fred Weasley, I swear to Merlin,” You cut him off, your jaw clenching at his absurdness. “… Aren’t you gonna say it back?” Fred asked, his voice was small.

“I-” You sighed, “No, I won’t because I don’t want to say it right now, given the circumstances,” You paused, your voice quieting down, “It felt like a goodbye when you say it like that.” “Then when will you say it? We’ve been dating for almost a year and you'd never say it before,” He said.

“Really? This is the time to argue about this?” You gave him a pointed look, but your expression softened as you understood the meaning behind his actions. “Look, Freddie, I- You know how I feel about us,” You sighed, looking down at your hands on your lap, “You know I’m not that expressive with my words but- but I’m trying and- okay, let’s make a deal,” Fred’s ears perked up the mention of a deal. "I'm listening," he drawled.

“I’ll say the words when the war is over,” Fred gave you a sour look that clearly said ‘really?’ and it caused you to huff a smile, “Once everything is over, and everything is okay again, I’ll say them as many times as you want me to, okay?” Fred leaned into your touch as you cupped his cheek with your hand, kissing his forehead.

“Even if I made you say it a thousand times?” He asked and you chuckled, your heart warming at his childlike question, “I’ll say it for an hour if you asked me to.”

It happened so fast.

One second you were fighting off the Death Eaters with Percy and Fred, and then the other, you find your body aching at the major pressure from the rocks and debris that used to be Hogwarts’ protective wall from the outside world.

It was dark, and it was dusty, but you were too unconscious to notice. That was until you felt your cheek being patted a few times. As you gained consciousness with a cough or two, you also gained the pending pain spreading all across your whole body. You couldn’t feel your legs, or safe to say your whole lower body part. 

Memories of you a few moments ago trying to push Fred away from the rumbles but ended up facing the falling stones head-on with him instead began to flow back into your mind. How foolish could you be to act like a hero, as if you could sacrifice yourself for him to live.

“… Y-Y/N…”

You turned your head with a silent grunt, and your eyes fixate at the body beside you, a few feet away, Fred. 

He had blood leaking from his nose and ears, probably from the impact, and his face was dusty with debris from the stones. As he looked at you, he threw you a smile; a weak, hiding the fact that he’s in immense pain kind of smile.

“F-fancy seeing you here,” he grunted with a wince, a smile nevertheless rested on his lips. “Fred…” you could only mutter his name, closing your eyes for a brief second at the growing pain on your thighs. The pressure from the rumbles had slowly increased, and you felt yourself losing consciousness again. Only to be brought back to open your eyes as Fred poked your cheeks a few more times, “Hey, hey, s-stay with me, love.”

“We’ll… We’ll be okay.”

You winced at the trickling sensation on your skin as you tried to move your fingers towards him, “It’s… It’s impossible, Fred…” You voiced out, your voice cracking up. You saw Fred’s lips quivered before he threw you another comforting smile, “Don’t… Don’t say that. We’ll make it… I-I know we will.”

“We… We will?”

Groaning from the injuries on his body as he tried to move closer to you, he nodded, “We will.”

You felt his fingers trying to reach for yours, and you handed him assistance as you hooked your fingers with his. His hand was cold, trembling. But it was Fred’s. And Fred’s hand is always warm.

“It’s… It’s so heavy,” You whimpered in pain, looking at Fred for comfort. All Fred wished to do at the moment was to be strong enough. Strong enough to push off these rumbles pressing onto his body. Strong enough to pull you out from the pain. All he wished for was for you to not be in pain anymore. But he knew he couldn’t do anything. The rumbles were too big, too heavy, and it would take a while for anyone to find them at the bottom of everything. 

Fred breathed out heavily through his mouth, slowly finding it difficult to breathe through his nose anymore, trying his best to look strong for you, “Stay with me, love. S-stay with me. Five more minutes. F-five more minutes and they’ll- they’ll save us…”

“Fred…”

“Five more minutes, I promise…”

You saw the desperation in his eyes, trying his best to somehow keep you afloat until you two are saved. You heard muffles from the other side, Percy screaming for Fred and you. His screams were sad and painful to hear; you would’ve cried for him if it wasn’t for the constant high-pitched ringing in your ears.

“Fred, h-hold my hand. P-please,” You whispered, finding no more strength to say anything louder than a whisper. He instantly intertwined your fingers with his, stretching as far as he could to reach you; no matter how screeching the pain in his lower body was.

“Fred,” You called him again. He chuckled a bit, “You’re… you’re saying my name a lot of times right now, darling.” You huffed a smile, the corner of your lips twitched, “… I want to ask you something.”

“… Anything.”

Your eyes met his, even in the darkness, his eyes still managed to look so beautiful. So earthly beautiful. “… Are you happy, Freddie?”

There was something about the way you say it, Fred couldn’t get a touch of what it was but… it felt like a goodbye. As much as Fred hated to admit, he wasn’t holding on much longer either. He was bleeding heavily from everywhere, his wand was out of his reach, and his body was starting to numb. His vision began to blur by itself, hence he blinked his eyes repeatedly. Trying his best to see your features clearly, one last time, if the worst happens.

This is it, he thought. This is the end of my line. 

Finding an urge to cry, but didn’t have enough strength to sob, Fred let out a tear or two onto the dusty surface he laid his head on, his eyes closing after the content stare of your beautiful— though bloody and dusty— face. How ironic, he’s slipping away first even though he was the one who said five more minutes.

If only you had five more minutes.

“W-with… With you? Heh, always… “ The whisper coming out from his mouth caused you to narrow your eyes at him. It felt strange, it felt wrong. Was he saying goodbye? Watching Fred close his eyes was alarming, so you gained all your strength to pat his hand a few times, “H-hey, Freddie… Five more minutes. Hang… Hang on for five more minutes, please.”

You squeezed his hand, and he naturally squeezed back, only this time it was weaker than usual. His grip on your hand started to soften, but you tightened yours desperately. The pain all over your body was partially forgotten, your only focus was on keeping Fred breathing and alive, as well as yourself. 

“I’m… I’m trying, my love… but I’m sleepy… and tired…” he mumbled, his words became slurred by time. He was on the edge, you realized that. Upon the sad realization, you bit your tongue, trying your best to prepare for the worst. “L-look at me, darling,” Your voice quivered, feeling the sandy surface on your temple as you tried to force your eyes open, to properly look at him, “Look at me.”

You knew it. He was slipping away from your fingers, and you were slipping too. It didn’t matter anymore even if Percy bulldozed his way to you now, it was too late. Simply too late. And that’s none of his faults. It’s none of his and none of yours.

Some things are just meant to be.

You took your other hand and placed it onto his cold, dirty cheek. Caressing his cheekbone gently, you gave him a comforting smile, “Fred.”

He looked at you, a faint smile on his lips. He’s at the end, you acknowledged. You widen your smile to assure him, although the tears escaping your eyes say otherwise, “… You make me happy. You make me so so happy. And I… I love you.”

“I love you, Freddie.”

With a big smile, Fred widened his eyes weakly, letting out a sigh of content as he looked at you with gentle eyes,“… Now that wasn’t so hard, now was it?“

Gentle eyes that soon hollowed empty.

“Yeah,” the dam of your tears broke down, “Took me a long time...” You squeezed his now lifeless hand, trying to find comfort and warmth from him for the last time. You smiled at Fred, whilst tears rolling down your temple slowly as if mourning the passing of your lover for you. You inched closer to him, careful not to graze your injuries, and met your nose with his.

You caressed his cheek, finally feeling yourself lose consciousness. This is it, you thought, I won’t wake up ever again. “You said we’ll be okay,” You whispered weakly, huffing a content smile on your lips. Staring into his eyes that had held so much love and pure unadulterated affection for you all these years, now empty with no trace of life, had sent you into pain more powerful than the injuries present on and in your body.

“I guess we will be, after this.”

“… You spent your last five minutes with me, huh?” You felt yourself going in and out of consciousness, and your vision blurring continuously, “Aren’t you a sappy git,” the mere whisper escaped your mouth with a sigh. The warm smile never left your lips, and the only thing in your mind was how peaceful he looked as of that moment, and you wondered if you’ll ever be in that state of peace, with him.  

“No- no- no!” someone was shouting. “No! Fred! no!” And Percy was shaking his brother, and Ron was kneeling beside them with his hand on Y/N’s head, and the pair of lovers stared at each other without seeing, the ghost of their last smile still etched upon their faces.

On our last few drags of air, we agree

I was, and you were

Happy

TAGLIST:

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[pain-in-the-butler]

The time has come once again

The Bloodbath

“I’m simply one hell of a butler” says Sebastian as he starts cleaning as usual

Okay so Agni’s taking no prisoners

Work Nerd, Science Nerd, and Jock Nerd team up to form the Nerd Trifecta

Team One Brain Cell joins up with Phipps, who is quite possibly their only chance for survival

Ran-Mao remembers how Harcourt beat everyone in the unfortunately deleted round and said “Not in my backyard”

So far, everyone else has simply run away unscathed or grabbed a weapon they won’t use because the game doesn’t record weapons. Rip Tanaka

Day 1

Ran-Mao bringing the canon energy by adding a second weapon to her arsenal

Phipps somehow always turns into Team Dad during these, so I’m glad to see he’s finding time for his favorite hobbies

Undertaker up to his usual Sneaky Antics

It hasn’t even been twelve hours yet. Kind of impressive honestly

Considering Harcourt lost his mace, I’ll just assume the attack Grell “escaped” from was the vicious stabbing of his trim little schoolboy fingernails

Bad vibes

It appears that Lau also brought his canon game

Sebastian in the most recent chapters be like

I’ve actually never had this event come up before and it has to happen between two of the more innocent characters in the series;;;; god Lizzie you deserve better even in the Hunger Games Simulator

Where’s a Safety Nerd when you need one

What’s better than this? Guys bein dudes

This is probably what happened after Ciel left Weston

Sebastian will take care of this for ya, huh bud

Other events:

Agni practices his archery

Wolfram goes fishing

Othello finds a cave

Soma goes ‘splorin

Edward goes huntin

Day 1′s Deaths: Tanaka, Sieglinde, Lizzie, and Macmillan. Someday one of the ladies will win

Night 1

Butler slumber party in the woods, BYOYM (bring your own young master)

It takes a lot of energy to be this blond

I’m happy for her :)

Yeah I’ll bet you probably do Lau

A tonal shift so abrupt I got mental whiplash

Can we go back to when Grell was looking at the sky pls

Thought about science too hard. Got a concussion

Thought about Ciel dying too hard. Got an infection

Aww dad :( Hope you caught some fish tho

Looks like Harcourt won’t be winning this one, gang

I stg the hunger games simulator is misogynist because the ladies always DIE /j

Ran-Mao is hopefully here to prove the previous statement wrong

Other events:

Bard gets a hatchet

Undertaker also passes out from exhaustion

R!Ciel goes to sleep in a tree

Day 2

Oh you five are SO going in my burn book for this. It’s what Grell would’ve wanted

Ahaha just like in the real manga... right guys (;

Idk about you but I’m rooting for her

I don’t think the simulator could’ve picked four people who were less likely to team up than this

I would too if I saw my best friend was palling around with an opium dealer, a grim reaper with a lawn mower, and another grim reaper that the first grim reaper doesn’t like

Other events:

Othello chases Wolfram

That’s the only other event actually

That means today we lost O!Ciel, Mey-Rin, Harcourt, and Grell. ffs, I hope Ran-Mao kills all of you

Night 2

I’ve missed you, rare pair simulator

The “unknown sponsor” was Undertaker and the “fresh food” was O!Ciel

Confirmed: Lau doesn’t get high off his own supply

Once again a ceasefire between the strong hungry boys is formed

Girl, you don’t have to do that

“Did you kill Ciel?” Sebastian asks

“No that was William,” Othello says

Sebastian punches a tree so hard that it combusts. “God damn. Fuck” Sebastian says

Wolfram just realized I put him in the Hunger Games simulator

Other events:

Phipps thinks about “Are you winning son”

Undertaker gazes at space

Ronald becomes Lost Ronald

Soma passes out

Bard gets some water

Day 3

Damn Agni who haven’t you flirted with

Finny sees that Bard has water and thinks Bard cooked it himself, so he wants no part of that (might be burnt)

What did he even have that was worth stealing? A fish?

Well I can tell you who isn’t creating that smoke: Lau

“What’s worse than two young masters? No young masters. Now get over here and make a contract”

Everything about this sentence is a fever dream

Other events:

Undertaker decides he wants a slingy shot too

Edward chases Dad I mean Phipps

Othello gets some ouchies from picking berries

Night 3

When your young master dies, you just get an infection apparently

damn Finny’s playing hardball

I don’t think anything bad has actually happened to Bard yet. It’s just been a grand frolic the whole time

I barely remember reading the first Hunger Games but Ran-Mao’s the Foxface of this journey: she deserves to win and I just know she’ll die in the stupidest way possible

Sebastian’s like a cat that can’t reach the bird it wants to attack, so it attacks the nearest other thing instead. Poor Dad

Two white-haired anime boys and a not-white-haired anime boy talk about who will die tomorrow. Anime doesn’t exist yet so the white-haired anime boys don’t know their hair color automatically spells their doom

Other events:

Edward starts a fire, which means he’s capable of smoking opium

Ronald gets some medical supplies

Othello gets a hatchet

R!Ciel thinks about winning

Lau gets an entire explosive, but he won’t be able to light it, so no it’s no big deal

Day 4

In Soviet Hunger Games, white-haired anime boy kills you

But why murder someone when you could just mess with them

Other events:

Grey scares Bard

Finny goes hunting

Night 4

Have you four even killed anyone yet

The list of “people who didn’t start the manor fire and also don’t smoke opium” now consists of Lau and R!Ciel

The mood is too light now. Someone needs to die and it better not be Ran-Mao

At last, Father Phipps has chosen his son for this round

Agni gushes about all the hot guys he’s simultaneously in love with, giving Ran-Mao a clearer idea of who’s still alive

Day 5

Girl, it’s about time, go claim some trophies

Finny’s easily got the longest kill streak and it’s a little unnerving

Father Phipps finds a new secret fishing hole

Othello doesn’t

Lau continues to put in all the efforts of a kindergarten bully

Oh no. He’s a yandere

Other events:

Sebastian fucks around and explores the arena

Bard fucks around and hunts for tributes

Undertaker fucks around and sleeps

R!Ciel fucks around and picks flowers

Night 5

I’ve never met anyone who ships Sebastian/Undertaker but I know you’re out there

Okay, maybe these four are even less likely to team up than Phipps, Ronald, Undertaker, and Lau

Edward sees I’m making jokes about people who build fires and stays hidden

Day 6

Canonically, that is the only way R!Ciel would win a fight, so

I probably could have predicted this

I hope these are the faces they made when it happened

The “unknown sponsor” is R!Ciel and the “fresh food” is an ear that fell off his own head

I’m not sure if I should be concerned or unsurprised that Bard’s Hunger Games life is more chill than his canon life

the “unknown sponsor” was the fish and the “clean water” was “fish water”

Other events:

Ran-Mao gets her third weapon that she doesn’t want to use, which is a hatchet

Finny finds a river

Agni practices archery again, but he doesn’t kill anyone because he wants this to go on forever

Night 6

Ran-Mao I beg you please. Release us from this purgatory of mediocrity

And suddenly we’re back to canon Bard

I guess not everything can be canon

Other events:

Both Agni and Phipps pass out from exhaustion. It’s 2:50 a.m. so I should really be taking a page from their book, but unfortunately everyone refuses to die

The Feast

Finny has been a stone cold killer this entire match, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that the girl I wanted to win would get eliminated by him, but it still hurts ✌️😔

If you cheat on Othello, he will overpower you, killing you

Everyone else decided not to go to the Feast. Honestly, I don’t remember what the Feast is, but everyone who did go either murdered someone or got murdered, so I guess that was probably a good call

Day 7

I’ve had enough of this dude

Jesus Finny I can’t wait to see how many kills you got, I feel like you and Agni were the only two who took anyone down

Bard, Undertaker, Sebastian, and Phipps all hunt for other tributes but they’re useless and don’t kill anyone

Arena Event: Volcano Eruption

In one fell swoop, we lose Sebastian, Undertaker, R!Ciel, and Finny, jeez. But... that means it comes down to.............

FATHER PHIPPS VS. BARD

FATHER PHIPPS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow... Unlike his manga counterpart, this boy coasted the whole time and won... He basically went on vacation and he actually won... But then again, it’s Hunger Games Simulator and nothing is sacred

Well I hope you learned a valuable lesson today. I hope you did at some point before you read my post, because you sure as hell learned nothing from this. Thank you for wasting precious minutes of your life with me 😏