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mystic-kitten-writer · 5 years ago

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Limerence [M] ︳20

Pairing: Zuko x OC

Genre: Romance, mainly fluff with future smut, and if you squint hard enough - you’ll find some angst.

Rating: SFW

Words: 5300+

Notes: Ahhh the chapter that so many people have waited for (besides the smut lol). I was super happy to write this, and till this day, I smile like an idoit because it brings so many feelings. Enjoy loves <3

Masterlist ︳19 ︳ 21

❤ Buy me a coffee? ❤

Limerence: (English/n.) the state of being infatuated with another person.

The moment their eyes locked they knew - the flames within him twisted while the water within her turned. It was a connection, a connection that would lead to love, adventure, and drama.

Kairos

(Greek/n.) the right, critical, or opportune moment.

~ Ying Yue Jiang ~

The rain pattered against the glass like stones, the distant rumbles of thunder carried throughout the kingdom; not a single voice could be heard. It was the first time the kingdom felt so - dead.

I groaned silently to myself, my body curled, and my eyes struggling to open. No mirror was needed to know how puffy my face was as I snuggled into the blanket; the teddy bear squished against my chest. Despite the brisk air against my face, my body was warm, the closest feeling of comfort I’ve felt since last night. The silky fabric of my dress grazed my legs as I stretched – I sighed. Kima and Lia tucked me in. I didn’t even change out of my clothing. Gosh. I probably look like a mess…

But despite being tucked into accustomed blankets and the warmth that enveloped my body, a sense unfamiliarity still lurked in the air. I frowned and let my face drop against the pillow - I didn’t need to look over my shoulder to know Zuko wasn’t in bed with me. Another painful jab and I found myself breathing deeply. It was ironic – here I was, in a kingdom filled with hundreds of people, my friends and family, but I never felt as alone as I did now.

I need to get up, take a bath, and try to look somewhat alive.

I tossed the covers to the side, only then noticing there were extra blankets on top – but I dismissed it; I must have been shivering so much that Kima and Lia felt the need to heat them. My dress was wrinkled, and as I stood upwards, my legs tingled. I left in such a rush; I didn’t get a chance to eat dinner, my stomach rumbling embarrassingly loud. But I couldn’t stop my eyes from wandering to the neatly made side of the bed – Zuko’s side.

It was empty, no sign that he came to bed last night, he hates me. He has to hate me. My fists tightened just thinking about it – Kayto knew what he was saying. He knew exactly what buttons to push, what would trigger Zuko, and damnit. If only I had known who he was – how was I supposed to know that Kayto was ‘the asshole’? Why did Kayto hate Zuko so much, and vice verse? I huffed just thinking about it - Zuko saw everything, even the way Kayto touched my cheek.

With a jolt, I peeled my eyes away from Zuko’s side of the bed. Shit. I forgot – Aang. That poor soul must be so confused – worried about what happened last night after I left like that.

I briskly grabbed my robe from the end of the bed as I strode across the room to the bathroom. The white marble floor was cold underneath my feet, and I scowled. I always loved it when Zuko woke up and used the bathroom before me; he unknowingly warmed up the marble floors with the heat he poured out. But evidently, it’s either been hours since he woke up and left or…or he just never came back to the bedroom to start with…gosh don’t make that true.

My eyes aligned with the mirror, and bewilderment took over me. My makeup was completely wiped off, leaving me barefaced - red and swollen. Kima and Lia really did clean me up last night. My body ached, and for the first time in my whole life, I could feel how off my chi was. Not even after the incident did I feel as disgusting and weak as I did now. A hot bath is what I need, then I can think. Think of what to say, what to do. I turned to start the tub, but swore under my breath, “You gotta be kidding me.”

While I was able to twist the knobs to let the water fill the tub, the water was freezing. Of course, the water was cold - why would they heat the water? It’s the Fire Nation – either everyone heats their water, or they don’t take hot baths because it’s already so hot outside! I let my hand dangle into the tub, wincing – there’s no way I can wash up in this, I’ll turn into a popsicle at this rate!

“My Lady, what are you doing?” In a flash I stood up and turned, the bathroom door slightly open as Lia and Kima peeked in. Their arms crossed, and their eyes narrowed as they studied my figure, “Woah, no offence Ying Yue, but you look like shit.” Lia blurted. Kima’s eyes widen as she nudged Lia’s stomach.

I smiled, a smile that failed to reach my eyes as a sigh of defeat escaped me - running my hands through my tangled hair. “Worse than last night?” I muttered under my breath as I infuriatingly stopped the water from running. Kima grimaced, “What happened…?” she questioned as she walked towards me. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. What did happen? It happened so fast; I don’t even know what the actual issue was.

Lia’s eyes narrowed as she walked forward with Kima, but unlike Kima who was ready to baby me, Lia looked prepared to fight, “Does Fire Lord Zuko have anything to do with this?” I looked up at her and shrugged, “It’s difficult to explain-”

“I don’t care who the hell Zuko is; I’m gonna kill him.” Lia hissed furiously as she stripped herself of her apron. My eyes widen, Lia was pissed, she didn’t refer to Zuko by his full title! Her face was inflamed as she threw her apron onto the floor, “Lia!” Kima scowled as she gripped her elbows, “Relax, we don’t even-”

“I don’t need to know what happened. My – no, our responsibility is to make sure Imperial Consort Ying Yue is happy – and she isn’t! And if slapping that dummy up the head is what it takes, I’ll do it.” Lia groused, Kima sighed, picking up the crimpled apron Lia threw on the floor. And for once, a small laugh escaped me. Lia and Kima looked at me as I smiled softly – gosh I wish I had the backbone of Lia and the patience of Kima.

“Thank you, Lia and Kima, for cleaning me up last night. I probably looked awful.” I huffed as I leaned against the tub, still filled to the brim with cold water. But Lia and Kima titled their heads to the side and looked at each other with a mixture of confusion and…more confusion? “I’m sorry, my Lady, what do you mean?” Kima spoke as she looked back at Lia and me. My brows furrowed, “Last night, you guys tucked me, brought extra blankets, and even cleaned my face.”

Lia crossed her arms, “That wasn’t us.”

“What?” My body went rigid, the puzzle pieces starting to line up with one another. If that wasn’t them…for the first time, a sense of relief washed over me, and a hint of bliss. Zuko – he did come, he took care of me. That warmth, it was him.

“Ying Yue?” Lia spoke as she waved her hands frantically, trying to catch my attention. I need to talk to him – gosh, he really is a stubborn man. “I’m sorry for bothering you guys, but can you help me wash up? I need to leave.” I spoke as I started peeling off the layers from my dress, Kima and Lia continued looking at each other, “I’m sorry, what is going on?” Lia huffed, and Kima held her head puzzled.

“I need to tell Zuko the truth.” I blurted.

“What truth?”

“How I feel about him.”

Kima and Lia looked at each, Kima smiled while Lia frowned – seemingly speaking to each other without saying a word. “I guess we better get you into that bath then,” Kima spoke brightly as she waltzed over to me, helping me slip out of the lingerie I wore. Lia still bore a frown, her arms crossed as she watched, “Come on-help me.” Kima spoke as she helped me strip out of the final piece of clothing.

Lia huffed, “I will; on one condition.” This time I looked up, and I could see a playful smirk playing along her lips, “What is it?”

“That I can still hit Fire Lord Zuko across the head for being an idiot.” I couldn’t help but giggle at her request. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“So, you grant me permission?”

“If he tries to stop you – tell him I gave you an order.”

“Alright, let’s get you all cleaned up Imperial Consort – you got places to be, and a man to snatch.”

“You see, while some may think Pai Sho is all about chance, I believe it’s a game of strategy,” Iroh spoke as he placed the rounded tiles upon the grid. But everything he said went right over my head, my fingers dancing along my lap as I anxiously bit my lip. Where could Zuko be? I frowned just thinking about it – I couldn’t find him anywhere.

It was like he disappeared into thin air.

I checked the meeting rooms, his study, even the indoor training rooms but nothing. Maybe I have to just ask Sokka or Aang…yet the thought of asking them brought another wave of anxiety through me. I didn’t want to ask – Aang already knew something was wrong; the last thing I wanted to do was add more people into the mix. Especially when I could fix this, fix us. The thought of us ending made my gut drop – no. I won’t let us end because of that stupid guy Kayto. I can fix this; I can make Zuko happy again.

“Ying Yue?”

My head snapped up, hearing Iroh’s soft voice, bearing him a smile, “S-sorry, can you repeat the rules?” I asked. Iroh chuckled, reaching for his cup of Jasmine tea. “I didn’t begin explaining them yet.” I flushed, embarrassed that it was evident I wasn’t listening to a word he was saying. With a final sip, he placed his cup down on the wooden table, his hands resting on top of his belly. “Now. I think we both know you don’t want to learn how to play Pai Sho. So what do you wish to know, does it have something to do with Zuko?”

I shamefully looked down at my lap; I totally got caught. Although I was definitely interested in learning the classic game of Pai Sho, it was after all a favourite pastime that Zuko and Iroh shared; I came here for help. Wisdom from Iroh to help me with the man who stole my heart and is causing an internal battle within me. “I’m sorry, I don’t want you to think that I’m trying to take advantage of you…” I muttered under my breath, but Iroh just scoffed.

“I was waiting for you; I could tell something was wrong the moment I saw Zuko huffing like a bull this morning. That boy is going to get wrinkles faster than me if he doesn’t see you soon.”

“That’s the problem…I think…I don’t think he wants to see me anymore.” Iroh’s eyes widen, almost choking on his tea as he sat up straight, “You’re wrong.” Iroh spoke sternly, shaking his head as he leaned across the table we sat at, “That man is the definition of-”

“Stubborn?” We said in unison. Iroh laughed, and I couldn’t help but giggle – both having a mutual understanding of how frustrating Zuko could be.

“You really are the definition of water.” Iroh mused, taking another sip of his tea. I titled my head to the side, puckering as I tried to understand, “You’re emotional – something that Zuko struggles with deeply. Zuko is a lot more sensitive than people recognize. He has so many emotions, feelings, conflicting and swirling about like the flames he harbours. And for the longest time, he found peace, dealt with his past, moved on. But you-” Iroh titled his cup of tea towards me, nudging his chin to emphasize the ‘you’ part.

“You dear, are something my poor nephew has never dealt with before. And it’s both exhilarating and petrifying. You have the power to soothe Zuko’s flames just like how he has the control of boiling you up – but together, you form a perfect harmony – a dance that only so many have tried to do. And when perfected; it’s a combo people desire to experience and watch with envy.”

With a swift motion, my head fell against the table, and I snivelled, hearing Iroh’s words just tore my heart into a million pieces. Words I needed so desperately to hear yet made the overwhelming sense of guilt eat away at me. “Iroh…” I whined, “I love Zuko.” Iroh chuckled once again, his ceramic cup hitting the table. A gentle clap caught my attention as I looked upwards, “He’s outside training.” My eyes widen, a gasp escaping my lips.

“Is he nuts!? It’s pouring outside, he could get sick or-” What an idiot this Zuko was! It’s thundering, lightning, the whole nine yards and he is outside training? I stood up, pushing myself away from the table that we lounged at the library, the entire time Iroh beaming madly, “I’m sorry, I need to get Zuko before he gets sick or hurt.” I muttered as I grabbed the thin scarf hanging on my chair and fiddled around with it over my shoulders.

“Thank you.”

I stopped my fussing, looking up at Iroh with confusion.

“I always worry about Zuko – he’s not just a nephew to me, but a son. And now that he has you I know…I know he’s going to be okay, that I’m no longer needed – and it’s okay.” It was a look of sadness. Even though his smile reached his eyes, the way his eyes glossed over hinted at a combination of comfort, relief, but sorrow. “Iroh…” I muttered, he was old. I knew that, but the way he was speaking, “Don’t talk like that, you’re young. And for Zuko’s sakes and my sanity, we need you, the both of us.”

Iroh chuckled before taking another sip of his tea, humming softly to the patters of the falling rain, “Death is never the end. It’s only the start of a new chapter.”

“A chapter without us.”

“But a new chapter, nevertheless.”

Iroh set down his tea once again, “A story for another day, Ying Yue – don’t you have a stubborn Fire Lord to comfort?” I smiled and nodded, but before turning on my heel, I found myself pouring some more tea for Iroh. The giant look of appreciation on Iroh’s face as the tea trickled into his cup, “I promised to love him forever.”

“I know,” Iroh whispered, his voice faint. “You made that promise to yourself long before I asked, I just made you realize.”

“Thank you, for everything,” I said once more, before turning on my heel and pushing the library doors wide. A sigh escaped my lips as my eyes scanned the windows, the rain was pounding, the glass screaming against the harsh droplets of water. Zuko – what are you doing outside? I scowled, my hands tightening to fists as I grabbed the fabric of my dress and ran through the hallways. Maids and guards watched me frantically – but I dashed too fast for them to stop me. I swear if Zuko gets sick, ughhhh – the thought of dealing with an ill AND grumpy Zuko – let the spirits pray for me.

“Imperial Consort – the weather is horrendous, please-”

“I’ll be fine – Waterbender~!” I shouted back to the guards as I pushed by them and bumped against the large wooden doors. Right away, the water slapped against my body; my dress sticking to me like a second layer of skin. I hissed under my breath; it was freezing outside, haze forming as I huffed. I knew where the training grounds were; they weren’t too far away but this rain. It was absolutely atrocious.

The rain hit the ground, springing up slightly, and while I was secretly a lover of rain – even this was a bit much. But I kept on trekking through, not bumping into a single soul along the way. No one in the right mind would walk in this weather, let alone be outside. But Zuko, gosh - I would walk to the edge of the world for that stubborn man. What am I even going to say? My walking slowed down; realization hit me. What makes me think he even wants to see me? He could just push me away – ignore my existence till the day he dies.

But if what if he lets me talk - what am I even going to say? Do I just blurt out my feelings? Or do I ignore what happened and not mention about last night? I huffed, my emotions attacking me at so many angles as the possibilities of how this could end up made me dizzy. The first thing I’m going to do is drag that man back inside before he gets sick and then- The sound thunder rumbling in the skies ripped my attention back in front of me, catching sight of the random bursts of light.

My body froze, fire.

The flames erupted from his hands furiously, not meticulous or thoughtful like how I’ve seen before. I could see the frustration written in his face despite the distance and fog that sat between us. The way his damp hair stuck to his face with every twist and turn, the way his chest heaved agonizingly with every heavy breath. Zuko was in pain – so much pain.

My arms fell to my side; I knew exactly what to do – nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Without a second thought, I walked to the bench that lined the training fields, the wood soggy from the moisture as I sat. It was right then, and there I decided. I wasn’t going to force him to go back into the palace to dry up. I wasn’t going to speak to him or try to talk until he made a move. I wasn’t going to do anything – except watch him take out every single bit of frustration inside him.

I watched the way Zuko punched the air.

The way he kicked the rain.

The way his flames crackled and hissed against the water.

His flames were erratic. Aimlessly being thrown and cutting through the rain with such ease. Zuko’s flames were scorching, so much so that I could feel a vague warmth from where I silently sat, his warmth. The warmth that I grew to crave, the warmth that I wanted to feel next to me for the rest of my damn pitiful life.

Bright yellows and reds reflected off the ground with every burst, Zuko’s flames stretching well beyond the norm, not trying at all to control the span nor the temperature of them. And for a split moment, I swore, I saw hints of blue mix in with his flames. The air around us continued to mist, as the water cried and boiled mid-air the moment it touched his fire. Zuko grunted underneath his breath as he spun on his heel, another burst erupted from his hands.

It was breathtaking.

It was beyond imaginable how beautiful fire was – and despite the destructive tendencies people labelled fire as they were wrong – oh so wrong. People think water is the element of emotion, but I beg to differ. With every flame Zuko threw, I seemed to understand more about him and the conflicting emotions that coursed through his veins. Frustration, confusion, and pain. The broader and less controlled the flames – the wilder the feelings in him were. They weren’t precise nor constraint – Zuko let the fire run rampant. Silence spoke louder than words, and Zuko right now was going on a tangent.

This was the first time I ever saw Zuko so ruffled, unrelenting, letting his emotions get the better of him. His guard was down, and despite wearing nothing more than wore-out pants, he seemed utterly naked in my eyes - stripped to the rawest of emotions.

Zuko’s feet stomped onto the dirt underneath him, his back towards me. But I knew that he knew, that I was here – watching him this whole time. His shoulders were slumped in defeat as his back rose with every worn-out breath. Steam floating upwards as he panted profoundly, his face looking down at the ground underneath him - as if it was the most impressive dirt he has ever seen. He was burning; the raindrops searing as they touched his skin.

“Zuko.”

My voice sounded foreign, seemingly winded as it travelled in the air. A shaky breath escaped him, before turning on his heel and facing me. The first time I got a good look at his face. Eyes bloodshot, face strained as his thoughts consumed him. He didn’t utter a word, just stumbled towards me — every step my heart beat faster, wanting him to say something, anything, at this point.

My head tilted upwards, trying to get a good look at him, he was covered in a mixture of sweat and rain. And just like that, he dropped. His knees hit the ground, his head fell on my lap, and he sighed into my thighs. His warm breath against my wet dress and cold legs felt terrific, only noticing then that I was shivering like a leaf.

Without a second thought, my hands fell upon his head, running my fingers through his wet hair, tangling between my fingers. He groaned, his face buried in my lap, seemingly enjoying the coldness that consumed my body – but I accepted it because he was the warmth I so desperately needed. “Zuko…” I whimpered once again. Zuko’s head rose, looking at me with an expression of frustration. His amber coloured eyes looked dead as I struggled to look for that twinkle.

“Do you know…how much it hurts, thinking that you may find me as something disgusting? Something to pity over because of my scar? A scar that is so fucking obvious to the world, and a daily reminder of what I can become – what type of man I can become because it’s in my blood – being a monster?” He spoke, his voice brittle.

His father – he feared that he'd one day become like his father.

I knew that his past, specifically his family, was a sore spot, and although Iroh knew Zuko had in some ways closed that chapter in his life – clearly last night arose new emotions. “Zuko…” I croaked, my hands untangling themselves from his damp hair to his face. It was bold, but I didn’t care. I let my hand trace along his scar – skin rough, constricted, but more importantly, red. A deep, blistering, red.

This scar affected him in so many ways. Sokka told me in secret how the burn has affected Zuko’s vision, the skin so tight it was hard for him to focus at times – yet he suffered mutely. I saw the creams and oils he often put on in the morning discretely, thinking I was too busy getting ready for the day to notice. Creams to stop the dryness that came with the forever damaged skin. But while I saw all the physical pains that went with that scar, I didn’t realize the emotional damage it afflicted upon him.

“I’m sorry…” I sobbed, failing to notice that it was not the wetness from the rain that ran down my cheeks, but my tears. Zuko was in so much pain, and I never realized how much. Zuko shook his head, pressing his warm hands against mine, letting me touch his scar without hesitance, “It’s not your fault, I should’ve never snapped at you like that. You didn’t know-”

“No, Zuko, I’m sorry that you’re in pain. I wish I could take it away; I wish I could bare it for you. I just want you to be happy.”

“But I am happy. Fuck, I’ve never been happier in my whole life till now. You alone managed to consume me; I couldn’t get rid of you without killing myself along the way.” Zuko let his head fall once again on my lap, my hands tracing his features as his eyes closed, a sigh escaping him. “When I snapped at you, I knew I fucked up. And despite being the one to hurt you, I’m the one running to you for comfort.” I smiled, coddling his head into my arms. Without a second thought, my lips grazed his scar, pecking him sympathetically, “I was never mad at you – I thought I hurt you.”

“You could never hurt me, love,” Zuko pledged under his breath, sighing blissfully at my butterfly kisses, and I smiled. A sincere joyful smile as I hugged him even tighter to my chest. “And I think you're perfect - scar or no scar, you’re incredible – don’t you ever forget that.” His arms wrapped around my legs, as we stayed like that. A pregnant pause as the sound of rain hitting the ground and the rumbles of thunder above us. But somehow, the rain didn’t seem as lonely.

The grey skies were suddenly comforting, and I found myself giggling in absolute ecstasy. “I’m sorry for letting Kayto touch my face, he caught me off guard, I didn’t mean to make you jealous.” Zuko huffed, suddenly sitting upright as he scowled, “I wasn’t jealous.” He spat, trying a bit too hard to seem poised. Suddenly a smug smile found its way to my lips, my fingers poking at Zuko’s puffed out chest, like how a peacock does to impress his mate. “Oh? Enlighten me, what was that about then?” I mused.

A faint pink blush tinted his cheeks, scoffing to himself as his burning hands ran up my legs, “…I was being…territoral.” I giggled. A loud, endless fit of giggles escaped me as I pecked Zuko’s forehead with admiration, “Ahh, thank you for clarifying. I thought the mighty Fire Lord was jealous for a moment.”

Zuko grinned, chuckling to himself, “Glad we cleared that up, but love…your shaking. You’re going to get sick.” The way Zuko’s hands ran up and down my legs made me groan in pleasure, the sudden warmth bringing comfort back into my bones; I was freezing, frozen to the core. Zuko grimaced, seemingly realizing how cold I was, “Let’s get inside. You’re a fool for coming out here without an umbrella or jacket.” Zuko nagged, pulling away and starting to get up from his knees. “Wait, I can just-” I didn’t think twice, and for the first time, I bent.

Willingly and happily.

My hand rose, swaying side to side, letting the rain that poured above us build up and slowly begin to freeze. A thin crystallized layer of ice covered us, a perfect curved circle as I built the handle downwards to my hand. Zuko looked up in amazement, “You’re bending…,” he whispered. “Hmm?” I perked up, not realizing the gratitude of his statement until I grasped the make-shift umbrella in my hand.

The water that poured didn’t touch our skin, the ice-umbrella providing us with a temporary shelter. But the smile on Zuko’s face, it was enormous. So big, he looked like the cat that got the cream, “You did it.” He blurted, looking up at my ice-umbrella with wonder, “Y-you bent. Fuck, you don’t realize how beautiful you look when you bend.” He was right; I did it. It was because of him – just being with Zuko made me feel safe, comfortable, confident. It was because of him…it was because of him…

“I love you.”

My cheeks flushed red, realizing what I had just blurted. Zuko’s face dropped, his body stiff as his head shot towards me, “What did you say?” He exclaimed. Zuko’s eyes were beyond blown out, his jaw almost hitting the ground. Regret seeped through my veins as I studied Zuko’s face. It was like I told him I was actually the Avatar or something – damnit. I messed up. Gosh, it was too late, I said it, and there’s no going back now.

“I-I-Zuko. I know, you don’t feel the same way, and I know I’m annoying. I’m needy, I-I always want hugs and cuddles, and I know I drive you up the wall, but I love you. I love you so-so much.” I cried. I was embarrassed, my emotions got the better of me, and as a result, I blurted something so foolishly premature after we finally reconciled.

But nothing would have prepared me for how quick Zuko moved. His hands gripping my face with such a force, my body pulled forward, and without a breath to spare, his lips slammed against mine. The beautiful umbrella that caused the whole situation slipped through my fingers, crashing like glass against the floor, the rain dropping against our skin. But I wasn’t given a single second to mourn.

Zuko’s lips moved furiously, devouring my own as if starved. I mewled, his hands dancing along my skin and into my hair, gripping me so tightly as if I was going to evaporate. “Say it again,” Zuko grunted breathlessly into my mouth.

"I love you,” I choked, trying to breathe, uselessly grabbing onto him — anything to steady myself. My face coloured seeing the way Zuko moaned, his golden eyes rolling to the back of his head, as he fell into my neck, “Ugh, fuck. Again.”

“I love you.” I moaned out, his lips dancing along my neck, sloppy wet needy kisses trailing. Too quick to leave a mark but yet long enough that I could feel his heavy breath against my skin. Goosebumps forming along my skin, “Again.” he groaned.

“I love you.”

“Again.”

“I love you.”

“Again.”

“Zuko-” I gasped. He was panting. I could hear his short rapid breaths in my ear– heavy and anxious. “Do you know how long I’ve imagined-imagined you saying those cursed three words. How many nights I’ve dreamt?” He pulled away, pressing his forehead against mine. His face was flushed like mine; lips parted as he struggled to breath, let alone speak. “I love you.” He laughed as if he just blurted the biggest secret in the world - as if all the stress he bore was suddenly relieved. Zuko's eyes twinkled, and he chuckled with merit - as if he was the luckiest and happiest man in the world.

He loves me.

He loves…

Me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close as I enthusiastically rubbed my nose against his — the feelings. My stomach was fluttering, and I couldn’t even think straight. “I love you, babe, so much. Don’t you ever forget that.”

“I love you too...” I whispered, words I never thought I would ever get to say.

Disclaimer: I do not own any Avatar characters portrayed in this story besides Ying Yue Jiang, Lia, Kima, and any future creations.

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zutaraverse · 8 years ago

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Chapter 9: Badgermole Caught in the Sun

Zuko decided that he rather liked waking up with Katara in his arms. They both slept late but woke up with the first rays of sunlight, stirring against the other's body. Neither spoke for a long while, simply enjoying their skin next to one another, the steady breathing and the comfort of the sheets. The grey dawn was racing towards daytime and they knew their respite wouldn't last, the chinks in the curtains allowing light to fall across their features in the stillness of the room.

As the morning sounds started up around the palace, they both knew they could hide no longer. Zuko sat up, rubbing his eyes and yawned. He looked back at Katara still lying down, the bed sheets pulled down to her hips by his movement. Zuko's breath hitched in his throat at the figure lying beside him. This was nothing like anything he had felt with the other girls he had woken up beside. In fact, he distinctly remembered being somewhat frustrated that there was somebody in his bed.

Katara yawned too and stretched, rolling over onto her side facing away from him.

"I don't want to get up," she grumbled into the pillow. Zuko chuckled.

"Hmmm. Well we could let the Fire Nation collapse today… I wouldn't mind," he teased, pulling her into a cuddle from behind. She sighed in resignation.

"Fine. I'm up! Wouldn't it be wonderful to be irresponsible for once? To just do what you want all the time instead of trying to fit it in around wars and meetings and families…" Katara sat up and tried to locate her clothes from the night before. Zuko managed to see her scars in the half-light creeping through the curtains. His stomach clenched at the sight and he ground his teeth in anger. Katara didn't notice Zuko's reaction as she scrambled around finding her things. She held up her clothes triumphantly and started pulling them on, clearly upset about the fact.

"Right. I will go back to my room and get washed and dressed. And I guess I will try to get Toph out of bed! Remember, we talk to her over lunch," she reminded him while she smoothed out some of the creases in her clothes. Zuko watched sadly as her body was covered up piece by piece. He held out his hand and beckoned her to him with pleading eyes.

When she stood in front of him, he pulled her into one last kiss, before brushing his lips against her forehead and letting her go. Her fingers lingered on his longer than they should have, but Katara straightened her back, took a deep breath and crept out of the room back to her own.

Toph had not been as stubborn as she used to be about getting up early. Katara suspected it had something to do with her general unfeelingness towards life; it would make no difference if she got up to if she stayed in bed. Katara knew depression. She had known it at various points throughout her life, and she could tell first hand how far gone Toph was. Her mocking comments were forced, her senses dulled, her expression eternally blank. The only feelings she would be experiencing were frustration and indifference - a combination that forms part of a vicious cycle of self-loathing and confusion.

Katara was glad that Zuko had agreed to teach Toph. It would not be immediate, but she hoped giving the girl some sort of a project to concentrate on and making her feel important might reignite some of the essence that was Toph. After all, when she had last lost her path it was the book in Ka' Bei and fire that sent her on her way once more. Zuko had been second guessing his position due to his own boredom and loneliness, and water brought him back to beauty. Perhaps Toph would be able to latch on to both water and fire to pull herself through back to stable rock.

Or at least, Katara hoped.

Lunch came and Zuko entered Toph's chambers where they were due to eat right on time. He was surprised at how diligently he had worked that morning, but he figured that the satisfaction of the previous night coupled with his excitement for the lunch time conversation must have given him enough motivation to finish on time.

"Right, what is this thing you two want to talk to me about?" started Toph, being the first to take a bowl of rice.

"Erm. I don't really know how to start… I guess the back story?" Katara wondered aloud, looking at Zuko for encouragement. He nodded, indicating that she should continue.

"Right. The back story - except I will shorten it, the details aren't important. When I was travelling I learned blood bending. Hama taught me but I was far more powerful than her and ended up teaching myself. I used it for healing - which is actually far more effective than water," Katara paused to sip some tea as Toph raised her eyebrows in appreciation.

"I stumbled across an old Fire Temple on Ka'Bei island in the Fire Nation. I stayed there a long time reading all their old records in search for any mention of blood bending. Eventually I found a copy of a very ancient text belonging to a population that inhabited the world at least during the times of the lion-turtle cities, if not before them. It took a while to translate it, but when I did I found many things about bending in general - as well as blood bending," Katara took a deep breath, feeling an odd sensation prickling over her body, as if she were about to jump off a very high cliff.

"Blood and chi are linked. By controlling blood you can also control chi - or more accurately chi flow. Every type of bending requires a different - eh - route of chi flow… but I can change this so that it encompasses more than one type of bending." Katara paused to let that sink in. Toph was sitting stock still, her rice forgotten in her lap.

"You can't do this with everybody, though. Yue came to us and told us that -"

"Wait," interrupted Toph, holding up her hand, "Yue spoke to you?!" Katara and Zuko glanced at each other.

"Yes, she did. She told us that not everybody can have their chi flow - eh - altered, and those who can, have some connection to her. Since then I've been observing people's chi flows. Many people have sort of pools of chi in key areas connected with their bending style - which means that any redirecting would do nothing. Others though, have chi flowing in equal amounts all throughout the body and you can shift it so to bend more than one element. Zuko and I are two of those people. You are too." She let her words hang in the air, both her and Zuko waiting calmly for any sort of reaction.

Toph drank some tea. She placed her cup back on the table. She then picked it back up and drank some more. She placed it on the table again. She opened her mouth to speak twice before closing it again. Finally she spoke.

"So. Can you both bend fire and water?" she asked.

"Yes," replied Zuko simply.

"Can you bend earth?"

"No."

"So, since there is something weird about the three of us, you two want me to teach you to earth bend in exchange for fire and water?" she stated quietly.

"Er… well, yes. There is another thing though, when Yue spoke to us, she said that the world was out of balance and that her children (that would be people like us) would rise to set it in balance again. I don't know what that means exactly, but she was happy I was learning water bending. But why the world should be out of balance now that we have the Avatar I'm not sure," explained Zuko.

Toph pursed her lips in thought.

"Since Aang has returned he has ended the war, but then he disappeared to recreate his Air Nomad culture. He has ignored the other three nations that are all in some sort of internal conflict. Bringing the elements together is distant from everybody's minds - if anything he has separated them more by disappearing with the air nomads. Now that there is no war, not even the earth kingdom and water tribes have a common goal," said Toph to both Katara's and Zuko's surprise. When had the little, rude, master earth bender become so wise? Then again, she had always been the most perceptive of all of them.

"So maybe we are destined to fill in the gaps left by Aang?" reasoned Zuko. Katara rolled her eyes.

"You and your destiny Zuko! Look, I have no doubt now that Yue had something to do with all of this, but there is still so much we do not know. She did say though that people… people like us are drawn to one another and that we would find them among our closest friends," started Katara in her old authoritarian voice.

"And Toph is one of our closest friends and has chi flowing throughout her body… so you could say that it was our destiny after all," teased Zuko with a small smile. He still found it incredible that he could find humour in her teasing. Rewind the clock a few years and when anybody questioned his destiny he would attempt to snap their necks.

Katara huffed in defeat.

"Alright, alright, quit with the flirting, its sickening," interrupted Toph, snapping out of her stupor. "I'm in. I'll teach you and you teach me and we do whatever it is we're destined to do," Katara squealed in delight but was silenced by Toph's hand held up to stop her. "I hope you know, though, that it isn't going to be easy. I'm blind. I can only teach you the way I learned, and I don't think I can learn the way you did easily, if at all. Have you thought about how to get around that?"

"Meditation," said Zuko and Katara simultaneously.

"Really guys!" groaned a still very sleepy Toph when Zuko and Katara kicked her out of bed just before dawn the next morning.

"It is what it is, Toph," chuckled Zuko, leading them down to the gardens and their usual meditation spot. All three sat on the grass, facing east.

"What am I searching for exactly?" asked Toph, resigned to her early rising.

"When I change your chi flow, you will have a heightened connection with the sun. The light won't mean much to you but the heat will - the sun gives heat and life to all living things and you should be able to feel it seeping through as the sun rises. If you want to you can meditate on something familiar to you - the earth or the rocks or the marble of the palace, and try to feel how they change with the sun. It may be difficult but stick with it! Eventually you should feel a… a sort of power pooling in your stomach. But that may not happen yet. Are you ready?" explained Katara, calming herself in preparation of letting somebody else into her secret.

"Lets do it!" cried Toph, punching the air with a mocking enthusiasm.

Katara took Toph's hand and closed her eyes, willing herself to follow Toph's blood ways. She let herself drift along with the flow of chi, appreciating how the orbit was different to her own. When she reached the area around the torso, where the fire bending chi orbit focussed, she pushed gently so that Toph's flow would expand to encompass it too. She sighed in satisfaction. She would wait to do water when Toph started appreciating fire - otherwise it might confuse her.

"Dawn is starting," observed Zuko, making himself comfortable and focussing his breathing. Zuko and Katara lost themselves with practiced ease into the heat waves of the garden, loving how they became more and more enhanced by the rising of the sun.

Toph, however, felt nothing. Contrary to many people's belief about her, she was really very good at meditation. Sure, her brash personality and energetic character may seem opposed to the usually quiet and self-reflective stereotype, but it was only through meditation that she learned earth bending at all. She'd had to follow and focus on the badger moles, she had to learn to feel to the minutest degree everything that happened within the Earth. It hadn't been easy.

But this? This she wasn't getting anywhere with! She bit down her frustration and decided to take Katara's advice and meditate on rocks instead. She focussed a rock right in front of her, by the pond. She felt every vein, every crack than ran through it. She felt the quiet vibrations of the bugs that lived beneath it and a slight pressure from above - a frog maybe? She became the rock.

She decided that she needed to think of the changes that were happening. Of the exact position of the rock, of the pressures coming to the rock from around it. Toph lost track of all space and time apart from the rock. She noticed that it was becoming bigger. Not by very much, hardly anything, but it was growing. That was strange! What could it be? She explored the surface of the rock and felt that it was different to the inside. Not just in texture, but in activity. It was excited? Do rocks get excited?

She realised this must be heat! She moved in and out of the rock again; yes, the inside was cold, it felt solid, smooth, devoid of energy. The outside was different. It was vibrant, alive almost. Instinctively she followed the strange force that brought the rock alive and flowed with it throughout the garden. She realised that there were intense pockets of energy scurrying around, both near and far from the earth. The ones further away must be birds; the others animals. There were other objects that were less hot, but still warmer than rocks. These were very still and strong - she realised trees! Her excitement seemed to grow with time as more and more energy was being poured into her surroundings, more and more life was buzzing.

Then suddenly, when she felt actual, physical, tangible warmth hit her face, an energy seemed to explode within her. Her stomach felt giddy and she felt like recoiling from the sheer power she felt.

Toph opened her sightless eyes and broke her meditation position to curl up slightly and catch her breath. So this is what the sun felt like.

She realised that Katara and Zuko were moving as well.

"You found the sun," stated Zuko. It wasn't a question. Toph wondered what her face betrayed in that moment.

"Its … its pretty strong isn't it?" she asked.

"Yes. It is energy. Katara is still getting used to it," said Zuko, a smile in his voice. Toph imagined him being affectionate to Katara. It was disgusting.

"Well? Are you going to teach me or are we going to sit here like lame turtle-ducks all day?" quipped Toph sharply. They could be gooey if they wanted to be - as long as it was not around her. She discarded her initial plan of being very annoying and not letting them have any time together… she would most definitely be letting them have a lot of time together so they could get it all out of their damned system and be at one another's throats as they should be.

Or maybe I'm just jealous, she thought to herself. Yeah, probably. But that doesn't change the fact that they are making me feel sick!

Both Zuko and Katara expected Toph to be hesitant at best when it came to fire bending, given the fact that she couldn't see the flames and the memory of Zuko burning her feet. However, they once again had underestimated the girl; she was used to handling things she couldn't see. For a while all she did was play with heat - if she was going to learn this, she had to feel the heat flows like she felt the ground vibrations.

"Right, tell me when I make fire," she said finally. Katara was the only one left in the indoor arena - Zuko had had to see to some disgruntled guards.

"Alright, go ahead."

Toph took up the stance they had taught her and focussed her breathing. Up till this point she had pushed about heat, removing it from one side of the room and focusing it on another. Now she wanted to make it hotter until she achieved fire. But you need eyes to judge that!

She went through the punching move Zuko had demonstrated and felt heat moving away from her. She tried again. This time, it was hotter. Again, and hotter still. As she gradually increased the amount of energy she was putting into her punches, she noticed two things. First, like Katara, she found the same giddy, powerful sensation in her stomach that she had felt that morning with the sun. Secondly, she realised that the moment before she was punching, the heat surrounding her would rush to her, through her, and then out in a condensed form from her knuckles.

"Toph! You did it!" squealed Katara, clapping her hands. Toph repeated the same move to get used to the sensation of creating fire. Now that she knew how much power to put into it, she could feel the difference. This was more like an explosion rather than a push.

"Ok, now I understand why fire bending is so dangerous," she muttered, half to herself as she relaxed her stance.

"Because it burns?" asked Katara, regarding the girl in front of her.

"Well, yes. But also because its like an explosion; see if I scatter bits of rock everywhere, I have no control over where each little one goes. Thats kind of the same thing here - the heat of the fire is scattering as well as going where I want it to. So accidents are bound to happen…" she trailed off, thinking of Zuko when he burned her feet at his camp. He was probably just trying to defend himself, sending out a warning shot that a person with full eyesight would see… but of course she was blind. And at the time would not have known what was heading towards her.

She would make sure to talk to him about it later.

The three friends decided to have dinner in the sitting room. This seemed to be one of Toph's favourite places in the palace - she could lounge around on the cushions and there was all the tea anybody could ask for!

Zuko looked distracted though. Katara could see the worry creasing between his eyebrows, crinkling the edge of the scar in an odd way. Whenever she or Toph weren't directly addressing him, his eyes would wonder away and flick back and forth as if he was trying to make a decision. Katara frowned. She would have to ask him about it later.

At this moment they were going through the steps Toph had made in her lesson that day. She explained about the heat being drawn the the person bending.

"So I'm guessing that the highest security prisons in the Fire Nation are really really cold?" she asked. Zuko blinked.

"Yes. Yes they are. You can't bend when you are too cold…"

"Right, because you are drawing heat in and compressing it and shooting it out!" Toph grinned at herself.

"So… its sort of like water in the sense that it is always there," reasoned Katara. Zuko considered this.

"Yes. I guess it is! What I don't understand, though, is how that works with lightening? Uncle taught me how to redirect lightening - and that is like heat and water in the sense that you let it flow in and then out again. But how is it that we create it?" mused Zuko. Katara pursed her lips in thought.

"I don't know. But it has to be something to do with moving heat since it burns… right?" she considered.

"I guess we play around with it tomorrow? But not in the indoor arena," started Zuko.

"You know, Sparky, the floor of your arena is stone," pointed out Toph.

"And?"

"Well, if you shoot lightening at the metal walls it won't touch us. Lightening likes metal," she stated as if it were obvious. Katara and Zuko looked skeptical. Toph could feel their hesitation and rolled her eyes.

"Look, where I come from we have really really tall buildings, right? So what happens when there is a storm? The lightening hits the tall buildings, and they either crumble of burn or a bit of both. So, in order to protect said tall buildings we stick metal rods on the top that run all the way into the ground. That way the building is not hit, but the metal is. The metal takes it to the ground," explained Toph, in her best condescending voice.

"We could try," concluded Katara.

"So," started Toph again, arousing them from their thoughts on lightening, "will I be water bending tomorrow Sifu Sweetness?"

"No. We wait for the full moon to start your water lessons - which is next week. Tomorrow we earth bend," stated Katara simply. She was pleased nobody argued with her. She also wanted to teach Zuko blood bending under the full moon. He had picked up water as quickly as she had picked up fire - she thought because they had both mastered their own elements and watched one another bending for years. Also, combining the bending styles made the transition very simple. He might not be able to handle blood yet, but they could try.

Katara felt funny after dinner. She was more tired than usual and could feel the dark bags under her eyes eating into her skin. Her hair felt greasy even though she had already washed it that day, and she was unnaturally annoyed at Zuko for not telling her what was bothering him. When she started feeling pain in her lower abdomen, she knew for sure - it was that time of the month. She groaned to herself and found the cloths she used to soak up the blood.

Of course! When she had arrived she had just finished… and then there was a full moon. The full moon always brought her relief from her cycles, and a calm after the storm of a very frustrating week.

She knew that if she didn't get herself some painkilling tea immediately, she would get no sleep at all that night. Having made sure she looked acceptable, she padded down to the kitchens to ask for the right kind of tea. They handed it to her without question, and watched her leave with sympathetic looks.

By the time the tea had brewed, she was already incapable of standing up straight. The cramps had her almost doubled over. She controlled her breathing as Yugoda had taught her to do, and kept one hand over her cramping muscles coated in water to ease the pain. Katara hated this time of the month. She could only relax muscles and heal wounds, redirect blood and move liquids - but she could not eliminate pain. Relaxing the muscles seemed to help somewhat, but never enough. It was as if her own body and her own element were turning against her. And she couldn't do anything about it! Once she had tried to blood bend all the blood out in one go so it would be over quickly, but soon found out that it was not as simple as a sack of blood that needed to come out. She learned from the healing scrolls in the Northern Water Tribe that it is the lining of the womb that is shed - blood is merely a by product. So trying to take out blood only left her weaker than before, and she kept bleeding where the lining was freshly separating itself from her.

She did not understand why she had to go through all of this, nor why some women hardly felt it at all while she was sometimes reduced to a pale, shivering corpse on her first day, and an aching, stroppy wreck the rest of the week.

The tea had started to take effect. She could feel her body's priorities swap from dealing with pain to dealing with tiredness. But she knew, from experience, that if she didn't finish all the tea she would be up in a few hours reduced to the same state. To sleep the whole night she needed the whole teapot.

There was a timid knock at the door, and a hesitant voice calling her name.

"Zuko?" she asked. "Zuko, come in!"

Zuko walked into the room, still looking very unsure about himself. He was in his night trousers, shirtless and shoeless as if he were about to go to bed. He bit his lip as he looked at Katara, and scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"Katara? Have I… have I done something?" Katara was confused. He thought she was mad at him? Well she was irritated, but she was irritated at the world in general, not just Zuko.

"What are you talking about?" Zuko looked away awkwardly again. "Oh for Agni's sake Zuko, spit it out!" she said a little too sharply. Zuko looked slightly frightened.

"Well you usually come and sleep in my bed… and well you didn't turn up so I… have I made you mad? Because if I have I'm sorry and I'm sure I didn't mean it…" he was looking at her with pleading eyes, shifting his weight from one foot to another.

Katara laughed. Oh he is so awkward! She thought. She stopped laughing as the movement triggered another spasm and she forced more tea down.

"No, Zuko. It is the wrong time of the month," she said, still smiling. However Zuko only looked confused. Katara sighed. "I'm riding the red tide, getting acquainted with death, trapped in the bloody torture chamber," she said listing off the most entertaining names for it.

Zuko's eyes widened in realisation, but his shoulders relaxed and he breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Oh! I thought you were angry at me!" he exclaimed, approaching her with a smile. "Are you feeling alright? Can I do something?" he asked worriedly, taking in the darkness under her eyes and her face drawn in pain.

Katara held up her tea cup.

"Painkilling tea. There isn't really much more to do," she explained. He sat down next to her on the bed and kissed her forehead affectionately.

How was Zuko - the Zuko who had knocked her out in the North - how was he so gentle and caring? Katara found herself wondering more and more if this was a side to him that was always present but buried, or if it was something he developed when he was surrounded by people who cared about him. Right now, she didn't care. She was so moved by his affection that she felt tears spring to her eyes.

Somewhere in the back of her mind there was a small panicked voice telling her that she should be scared of such an attachment, that she was better off alone. But she suffocated it and leant on his shoulder, brushing away her tears.

"Katara? What's happening? Are you still in pain?" asked a panicked Zuko, noticing the tears. He forced her to look at him in the face. She shook her head.

"No, I'm just happy!" she croaked, reaching for some more tea.

"Generally speaking, you don't tend to cry when you are happy," started Zuko uncertainly.

"You don't understand. I'm happy you're here and not hiding from me," she explained with a logic that escaped him completely.

"Um. Why would I be hiding from you? You're not making much sense right now," he said, teasing her gently. She shrugged. She didn't care if he understood or not.

"Do - uh - do you want me to stay here tonight? Uncle always told me that it is better if women stay warm when they are bleeding because it hurts less…" Katara looked at him to see if he was in earnest, but she didn't detect any reservedness behind his words - on the contrary, there seemed to be a hope in his eyes.

Katara nodded.

"I'd like that."

#zutara #zutaraverse #blood chi and full moons #atla #avatar the last airbender #katara #toph #zuko #fanfiction

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