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ahundredtimesover · 10 months ago

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I Want You to Stay (03) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)

Chapter Word count: 14.8k

Series Masterlist

Status: Ongoing

Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.

Playlist 🎶: on the way home

A/N: I've been thoroughly enjoying your asks and replies about this story (sorry I can’t get to each one!) I see that a lot can relate to what OC's going through and I'm sending you hugs! 🤗 Again, I appreciate your love and excitement. And uh... Golden JK in that white tank. YUP. 🤭 Hoping you enjoy this one!

And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight 🥰

PS. If I can’t tag you, pls fix your settings!

The spring in your step tightens the closer you get to Jungkook’s penthouse the next Monday. Walking here to start another week, there’s a mix of emotions you’re carrying with you.

You got to spend a proper weekend. On Friday, you made yourself some cold noodles and then watched a movie with Jimin and Soomin on video call, who’d said they’ll be visiting you in a week. You took the train to Daegu on Saturday, went to the park, then stayed in to enjoy Min-woo’s cooking and the girls’ stories about school and their youth clubs. You then buried yourself in your mother’s embrace as you told her about your week. You didn’t want to say too much, not wanting her to worry that her daughter isn’t being treated well at her job, but you suppose you said enough.

“I wish I was strong enough to protect you from everything,” she’d told you softly. “All I can do is just give you hugs and say words of encouragement that might not even mean much.”

“And you still are, mom. I look forward to being with you because of those hugs. But more than that, you were strong enough to protect me from the bad guys,” you’d assured her. “Jungkook is many things but he’s not a terrible person. I can handle him.”

And you meant it. He may be hot-tempered sometimes but he’s not evil. But just because he made you go home early last Friday, it also doesn’t mean he’s suddenly redeemed in your mind. Sure, he didn’t email you at all over the weekend unlike last time, but he also still didn’t apologize to you nor show remorse.

Perhaps that small nod after he called you telling you that you could go home was his way of saying sorry, or maybe it just isn’t in his vocabulary. You wonder if Hoseok had told him off but even then, it’s a pretty quick change, if you could call it that.

Regardless, you felt like a human being again these past few days; you just wish Jungkook woke up on the right side of the bed this morning and doesn’t find a reason to complain about you.

Unlocking the door, you’re surprised to hear silence - there are no grunts and deep breaths nor the sound of leather hitting leather from his morning workout. You scan the floor before walking around - a habit you’ve developed after finding that laced underwear last week - and then peep into the door on the right, only to find untouched equipment and no other traces of him.

You’re in the living room when you hear another door close, prompting you to turn around and see a woman appearing from the hallway on the other side of the penthouse. Her hair’s a bit disheveled and she’s wearing one of Jungkook’s coats that you saw in his closet.

“Uh, who are you?” The woman scoffs, her arms crossed and eyebrows raised now.

Taken aback, you just stare at her, until you realize she’s not wearing anything underneath so you look away.

You try to make sense of who she is and how you could get out of this situation. You know for a fact that Jungkook doesn’t have a girlfriend, at least that’s what Lucas had told you, but who knows what Jungkook’s been up to since he got back? There was that red laced underwear from last week after all. Maybe he does sleep around like what Do-hyun said. Maybe this woman just doesn’t know Jungkook has a female assistant. Maybe he’s—

“Hey, I’m talking to you,” she says, sounding more annoyed now.

“Oh. Uh, I’m Mr. Jeon’s—”

“She’s my assistant,” Jungkook answers, catching you off guard, given that you hadn’t noticed him walk in.

He’s not in his usual workout attire, although him in a white tank top and gray sweatpants with mussed hair somehow seems more overwhelming than him in nothing but gym shorts. You glance at him as he stands next to the woman, whose face suddenly lights up. Not wanting to look at her, you shift your gaze towards the ceiling, trying hard not to look awkward as you’re rooted in place.

The woman looks at you from head to toe and you feel her judging you, assessing you, while Jungkook stands there, yawning and combing his hair with his fingers.

“Just your assistant?” She asks, sounding incredulous.

“Yeah. What else would she be?” Jungkook answers nonchalantly. Looking at you, he nods ever so slightly that you almost miss it, another hint of acknowledgement you’d seen last Friday. “Just eggs on toast. And coffee.”

“Yes, Mr. Jeon,” you say, exhaling the breath you were holding and then walking to the kitchen to start on his breakfast.

“I don’t know, another one of your girls? I see you with a new one every time,” she huffs, sounding bitter, but Jungkook doesn’t sound amused.

“What are you still doing here?” He asks, walking to where you are then taking the glass of water you prepare for him. “I called a service for you last night.”

“I was too tired,” she says, and you don’t miss the sultry tone of her voice now. “You tired me out, Jungkook. I could barely get off the bed.”

“And why are you still here?” He asks, clearly not having it with her teasing.

“Because I’m still tired,” she smirks, having followed him to the kitchen.

You feel tense once more; you definitely don’t want to be part of this conversation in any way nor be privy to it, especially given what obviously happened between them last night. And especially not with Jungkook looking and sounding the way he does this early Monday morning.

“And I was thirsty,” she continues.

He sets his glass down and opens the refrigerator and takes out a bottle of water that he hands over to her.

“Ugh, how romantic,” she rolls her eyes, finishing it in a few gulps.

“I have to go to work,” he tells her, frustrated that she’s being stubborn about not leaving when he no longer seems to want her around.

“Actual work, or, you know, work?” She says, gesturing towards you.

You make the mistake of looking at her smug face, the insinuation not lost on you. It’s insane how she can just make claims like that, and you feel that just like you, Jungkook’s getting pissed.

“Can you just leave?” He says much more sternly now. “I can’t start my day with you still here.”

“Ooh, how rude,” she giggles. “Should’ve expected you’d be like that even outside of bed. I like that.”

She walks back to the room, leaving you and Jungkook on your own. You continue to work on his eggs while he stands by the counter, rubbing his temples. You’re unsure if it’s because of her or from last night’s alcohol, but you get aspirin and also a bottle of energy drink and set them in front of him before returning to preparing his meal.

The woman comes back shortly in last night’s attire then walks towards Jungkook.

“I’m leaving,” she announces, tilting his chin so he would face her. “I’ll see you again, yeah?”

Jungkook turns away and does not respond, leaving her to laugh as if there’s a joke that only she’s in on.

“Going all quiet on me now, huh?” She says. “You weren’t like that last night. I can still hear your moans, actually. Fuck, they sounded so good and so loud.”

You almost hit your finger as you slice the apple, clearly not expecting for this stranger to say something so intimate, knowing there’s another person in the room with them. You don’t know if she wants to intimidate you for whatever reason or maybe just make you feel uncomfortable. Whatever it is, it’s working, as you’re unable to focus on the task at hand now.

Jungkook still doesn’t say anything, and it’s what prompts her to finally say goodbye.

“Fine, I’ll leave now,” she whines. “But that was an amazing first time. I hope it won’t be the last.”

Her giggle annoys you for some reason, even more when you mistakenly look her way. Her smug face unnerves you as she holds your gaze while she says, “I’ll see you again, okay? I’ll make sure you’ll scream my name next time,” the words obviously directed at Jungkook.

She finally exits the penthouse but she doesn’t take the tension with her because in this large apartment with you and him, you feel a little too hot, a little too alert, yet somehow a little too curious.

Jungkook groans now as he finishes his energy drink, and he doesn’t know what he’s more frustrated about - the fact that the woman whose name he doesn’t remember didn’t go home, or that you’d found out about it in the most embarrassing way and he’d done nothing to stop her attempts at making you feel uncomfortable because that’s definitely what she was doing.

He doesn’t know how it affected you but even he can tell that it wouldn’t have been good. Not that he’s ashamed of his lifestyle but it’s different when you, of all people, get to see what that looks like. You did see the laced underwear on his kitchen floor last week, and he knows you definitely tried to pretend you hadn’t. Perhaps the image of arrogant, playboy Jungkook just solidified in your head and the fact that maybe that’s what you think of him is making him feel uneasy.

Not that he cares about what you think - he definitely does not - but he just doesn’t want that to affect how you would treat him in a professional sense, as if he’s some reckless man who works too hard and parties much harder, even if that’s kind of what he does.

The hangover doesn’t help at all; he shouldn’t have chugged that wine while the woman was giving him head, which was amazing, he reminds himself. He just knows he won’t be seeing her again after this morning because she’d been stubborn and shameless, and definitely not because of how she spoke to you and the insinuations she made.

“Mr. Jeon, your breakfast is ready,” you inform him, breaking him out of his thoughts.

He takes a seat on the table and you sit next to him, taking out your iPad to start your rundown of last Friday’s meeting and this week’s schedule.

“So—”

“Wait, give me a minute,” he stops you, and he realizes just how little sleep he actually got and he’s gonna have to push through today’s busy schedule despite feeling physically out of it.

“Okay, sir,” you say softly.

He munches on his toast with his eyes closed, and when he opens them, his gaze falls on you, sitting upright on the chair looking clean and proper in your blush blouse and beige skirt. You seem to be reviewing the reports from last week, your eyebrows scrunched as you scribble on the screen. He knows you took the hours-long trip to and from Daegu over the weekend; the visit, just like any, must have been tiring. Yet you come to his place everyday without fail, ready to do what he needs you to do, and he doesn’t even know if you’ve had anything to eat yet.

“Have you had breakfast?” He asks.

“E-excuse me?”

“Breakfast. Have you had it?”

“O-oh. Yes, I had some crackers and fruit on the way. I ate on the bus,” you respond.

He remembers your address from your staff profile. You live about 40 minutes from him, almost double if you commute. You come at 6:30 everyday, so he can only imagine what it’s like for you every morning.

“Why don’t you drive?”

“I don’t have a car, sir.”

“Shouldn’t that be part of your contract? Or a benefit of some sort?”

“It isn’t. I believe only the CEO’s assistant does,” you respond.

“Bitna has a company car.”

“Ms. Jung requested that when she was still President.”

“Then I’ll request one for you. It's… it’s too early. And you can’t always be assured of public transportation. There could be delays. Or an emergency that would require you to drive.”

Of course, he’d want you to get a car so that you’re more accessible to him. Just when you thought there’s actually a bit of his heart working this time, he reminds you why there isn’t.

“That’s true, but nothing has happened so far. And there are other options should there be,” you say. “I also don’t know how to drive so there is no need, Mr. Jeon. I leave my apartment early enough to make sure I get here on time, and I’ll let you know if I will be late.”

Jungkook just hums, even if there’s more he wants to know. What about late nights? What if there’s a storm? Well, he does know - he did see you miss out on taxis and then just walk last Tuesday; he wonders how you got home then, and how many hours of sleep you had after all that.

He lets it go; it’s too early to think about this.

“Good. We can run through the minutes now,” he says.

So you do, stating the points and confirming your actions for each one and then noting down his as well. You try to focus, and you’re able to for the most part, but it’s not easy when he sits just a few feet away from you, with his bare arms propped on the table that’s just hard to look away from.

You’ve always liked tattoos on other people, and the art on his right arm looks so delicate and personal; you wonder what someone like him would value enough to ink permanently on his skin. Even his untouched arm is mesmerizing, toned like every other part of him, with beauty marks that you spot as well. It doesn’t help that his slightly long hair keeps falling over his eyes, prompting him to comb them with his fingers every time.

What also doesn’t help are the woman’s words from earlier, as she’d managed to make you think of Jungkook in a very different way, given her descriptions of how he’d been last night. You don’t know what she intended by doing that, but you didn’t miss her insinuations about your relations with him, which are definitely far from the truth. Learning that he’s rough and loud in bed is also knowledge that you could’ve done without. Somehow, he sounds like how he looks - expressive of negative emotions, and the type to drain the other person.

He also sounds like the guys you’ve slept with.

The thought alarms you. These are things you shouldn’t be thinking about your boss, about the man who pays you, about the one who makes you miss meals and buses and who makes you angry because of how he treats you.

You try to dispel these ideas by coughing - the loud sound helps, and you also want to distract yourself from how distracted you are at your task because somehow he keeps getting more and more attractive after every glance.

He stands up, and just when you thought he’d be angry after your disruption, he surprises you by placing a glass of water in front of you.

“You can drink, you know? You can make yourself a cup of coffee. You can even cook yourself breakfast if it’s just crackers you eat in the morning,” he says.

Yes, you think to yourself. You’ve been wanting to try his coffee because of the fancy machine but breakfast sounds… too domestic.

“Thank you, but I’m okay. I mean, the snacks fill me up just fine.”

“It’s not proper breakfast, though,” he argues.

“With all due respect, sir, eating takes time away from all the things I have to do. I manage just fine.”

Expecting an annoyed expression from him because you did just imply that you do too much, you instead see the tiniest hint of guilt on his face, as if he actually feels bad that you’re unable to take care of yourself because of him.

“You’re not a servant, Ms. Cho. You’re not disallowed to do basic things just because of your job.”

“You have standards, Mr. Jeon,” you say, throwing his words back at him. You don’t expect to see his face fall a little, and you’re surprised that you seem to care. “I need to meet them, and I’m still familiarizing myself with how you want things done, and that takes time. I don’t mean to imply that you treat me like a servant because you don’t. I just… I want to be able to do things right and I’m still learning.”

The words hit Jungkook. He knows he’d been too critical during these first weeks, and that’s more because he’s unable to manage the initial attraction that he’s trying so hard to temper. He could’ve gone on correcting you constructively, with no need for harshness the way he did with Lucas when he started.

You’ve also been doing this for a few years. You’ve been working for the VP’s office longer than he has - you know the people and the processes more, yet you’re the one claiming you need to learn and do things right. Even he thinks his father, whom he never thought was the best at looking out for his people, wouldn’t be angry at those below him for irrational reasons. Somehow he thinks he’s worse than his old man now.

But the word sorry isn’t in his vocabulary. He’d rarely ever said it, and the only reason he’d heard it a lot growing up was because people caused his inconvenience, and not because they’d hurt his feelings. He doesn’t know what that’s like - forgiving and wanting to be forgiven. They’re foreign to him, but somehow those are what you’re making him want to know.

“I—”

“Can we move on, Mr. Jeon?” You interrupt him. “You have a scheduled check-in with your father before the 8:30 team meeting.”

“Right, that’s today,” Jungkook says, letting go of any form of apology he could muster.

He nods then stands up to head to his bathroom, and you follow shortly after to arrange his outfits for the week. You clean up in the kitchen after and wait for him to come out, with you reflexively walking up to him to fix his tie and make sure all the creases on his clothes are fixed.

Jungkook tries to remain still as you, like everyday, make sure he looks proper. It always took him a long time to get ready because he used to do all this on his own, but with you taking on the unofficial stylist role - which he admits you do a great job at - he’s relieved of that added stress of looking the part of a Vice President. It just also means that every morning, he has to look unaffected as you stand close to him like this, with you tightening his tie and your fingers grazing his clothed chest.

You smell like roses. It feels warm and nostalgic, like it’s familiar but also something new. It’s refreshing on you, and it wafts through his nose and paralyzes him a little. He tries to hold his breath like always, only briefly glancing at your focused eyes as you make sure he looks impeccable.

He’s caught off guard when you look up and meet his gaze. He doesn’t react, but he does linger and surprisingly, so do you. He wants to apologize but he doesn’t know how to. He just hopes you feel it somehow with how he looks at you; he’d like to think you do, as you gently bow and step back, taking your things to go down.

You go through his schedule while in the car, noting his dinner meetings and that the food tasting for next month’s event with the art industry professionals that you’re both organizing has been moved to next week, freeing up his Thursday lunch hour.

“I’ll schedule my visit at Taehyung’s tailor shop that day then,” Jungkook states. “I’ll have a few suits done.”

“Noted, Mr. Jeon,” you reply, adjusting his calendar.

He doesn’t say anything after. He takes his leather notebook and sketches like he often does, looking out his window only a few times as he’s engrossed in his drawings. Even with all that he is, you can’t deny Jungkook’s talent. You only know he took an architecture course but you don’t know if he actually practices it.

You start to wonder if Jungkook wanted that to be his profession but couldn’t pursue it because he’s expected to manage the company with his cousin. You wonder if he’d always been into drawing and the arts, if it was an outlet the way reading picture books was for you; you’d wanted to become an illustrator but your mother couldn’t afford drawing classes and that profession just didn’t seem like it could sustain you financially. You wonder what Jungkook thinks when he sketches and what his subjects are, if he feels at peace the way he looks, if he hopes he could just spend his days doing this.

The seeming warmth in your thoughts about this man concerns you, prompting you to turn away from his direction and stare out the window instead. You remind yourself that this is the same person who’d made the past two weeks miserable for you; he doesn’t deserve warmth from you in any form, even if, for the briefest moment earlier after you fixed his tie, that’s what you gave him. You learned that he’s quite mesmerizing when he doesn’t talk or when he isn’t scowling. You also learned you’re quite quick to fall into it when you let your guard down a little.

You groan internally. There’s a lot you don’t know about him and you don’t really care to know more; what you know is enough to put you off anyway. And so these moments of weakness - of curiosity, of concern - should not happen again.

Except, they do happen, over an hour later after Jungkook returns to his room from his check-in with his father. He sits on his chair, his eyes closed and jaws clenched, unmoving for a good few minutes, and you watch from your seat, wondering what transpired that’s got him this disturbed.

It happens again an hour later. He moved the team meeting to the afternoon and he’s now furiously typing on his desktop, making calls, sketching, making calls again, then sitting still with his eyes closed once more. Hoseok walks in, merely nodding at you, then enters the room and speaks with the younger man. Jungkook closes the blinds, and you’re left to wonder what’s going on behind closed doors and what’s got him angry and frustrated.

You take your chance at finding out when Hoseok emerges, asking him if everything’s okay, if Jungkook is okay.

“Yeah, he’s fine,” Hoseok says, a half smile on display, something you’re only a tad familiar with. “He’ll manage.”

He rushes out, saying he has a meeting to get to, and you nod, glancing at the closed door and blocked window, wondering what troubles Jungkook is handling on his own. If it’s personal, it’s clearly not your business. But if it’s work-related, then it is. You’re there to make things easier for him, after all. You also don’t want to be surprised and be bombarded by new tasks just in case, so it’s better to know if there’s something you can help in resolving things as well.

You walk in his room then place the ginger lemon tea on his desk, a common home remedy for hangovers, just in case last night’s events are still affecting him. You inform him that you’ve sent the reports already for his sign-off, and he responds that he’ll get to them tomorrow.

Glancing at his drink, he halts his typing to look at you.

“Do I look hungover to you?” He asks pointedly.

It’s clearly not what you meant, but you suppose the insinuation isn’t what he needs right now. You want to be swallowed by the ground. He was already calm towards you, civil even, and now there’s another reason for him to be upset at you. You wanted to avoid any possibility of that as much as possible, and now you’re here, at the verge of being told off again, just because your stupid brain decided to care the tiniest bit.

“I, uh, no, Mr. Jeon,” you stutter. “I just…”

You don’t have a reason. Clearly, you can’t tell him that he hasn’t seemed okay all morning - whatever that means - and that just in case it’s last night’s alcohol affecting him, there’s a cure. You stare back at him with worry, but instead of challenging or questioning you, he just sits back with his eyes closed again and dismisses you.

“You may leave,” he instructs.

“What about lunch, sir?” You ask.

You’d never cared before, why the change now?

“I’m fine,” he responds. “Call me when the meeting’s about to start.”

Your stubborn self takes the box of biscuits from the coffee table and places it in front of him. You’re pushing it, you think, but there’s a meeting he’ll be leading and he can’t be unfocused; when he is, it’s all the worse for you.

He doesn’t react and you walk out. When you enter an hour later to call him, you spot the empty cup and the crumbs on the saucer, and you can’t help the tiny smile that you make internally.

It’s short-lived though, as that whole afternoon, he acts unusually - he barely makes comments at updates, he doesn’t make eye contact, and doesn’t ask further questions. He just nods when you say you’re heading out at 6PM, giving you no added tasks to keep you from leaving.

You enter his penthouse the next morning to the banging of leather hitting leather, prompting you to jerk from the loud sounds. He’s grunting and panting heavily, and you just know that whatever it was that transpired yesterday, he’s releasing all his emotions right now, through this.

He exits the gym and walks to the counter where you are, finishing the water you laid for him in three gulps.

“Do you need that tended to?” You ask.

He looks surprised. You gesture towards his hands and he looks at his bruised knuckles; he really let it all out this morning, it seems.

“I’m fine,” he shrugs.

You didn’t think those two words from him would ever make you feel discouraged, but one thing you’ve come to learn about Jungkook is that he easily expresses his anger and frustration towards other people. It’s when he keeps things in that they seem more serious, and you wonder what words he heard yesterday that might have made him this closed off, this quiet, this much more distant.

But fortunately, your feeling of worry fades with each day that passes, as he slowly returns to his normal self after - the focus, the perpetually serious look, the attention to detail, the sketching on his notebook. Perhaps Jungkook just needed a particular kind of release and he’s maybe handling things better now.

For his sake and yours, you wish the issue has been resolved, otherwise another blow up might happen and that wouldn’t be good for your newfound dynamic that’s a lot more civil than anything.

It’s Thursday when you get a call at 5 in the morning, just as you’ve woken up to get ready for work, and Mr. Ri’s voice greets you on the other end.

“Hi, ___. How are you this morning?”

“Hi, Mr. Ri,” you yawn, curious as to why he’s checking up on you this early. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” he hums. “I was instructed by Mr. Jeon to pick you up today.”

“Why would CEO Jeon ask that?” You wonder, as you sleepily walk to the bathroom to wash up.

“He didn’t. Jungkook did.”

You stop on your tracks. You don’t recall being informed about this, nor do you know of any particular reason why you should be at his place so soon.

“Oh, uhm, okay. I should be ready in–”

“I’ll be there in about 50 minutes,” Mr. Ri interjects. “Sleep in a bit more and have some breakfast. I’ll see you shortly.”

You try not to think about what prompted Jungkook to have you picked up, so you focus on getting ready and then whipping yourself some fried rice using the leftover seafood from last night. You won’t lie, it tastes delicious. It might be that you just haven’t had proper weekday breakfast in a while, but it could also be that you’re energized enough and not pressed for time that you’re able to make this as good as it is.

You decide to bring some to Jungkook’s place just in case you get there late. Sure, Mr. Ri will be driving you, but you don’t know how the traffic is at this time, and this change in schedule is somewhat making you anxious. But then again, there’s always bread or cereal for him to eat; you just think that a little act of thanks wouldn’t be so bad.

Mr. Ri arrives exactly 50 minutes later and he assures you that he’ll get you to the penthouse in half an hour. You trust him of course; he’s been with the Jeons for decades and he knows these streets like the back of his hand. Seated in the passenger seat, you try to figure out what about today has got your boss a little kinder than usual.

“I arrived five minutes late yesterday,” you wonder out loud. “Is that why? He has a meeting with a local artist in the morning and he doesn’t want me to be late. That should be it. Ugh, stupid,” you groan. “I should’ve taken the first bus I saw, but it was so full and–”

“___,” Mr. Ri stops you. “Five minutes isn’t much. Plus, you always arrive 10 minutes before 6:30 and then just wait at the lobby. I don’t know why you do, you could always just go up to the penthouse when you get there, you know?”

“No, I don’t. Mr. Jeon has boundaries and clearly likes keeping his distance. Going to his penthouse before I’m supposed to be there feels like I’m intruding,” you argue.

“You’re literally his assistant, and you go to his bedroom and his closet, fix his things, prepare his meals… there’s no intrusion happening,” Mr. Ri counters. “I know the man. He’ll probably just look at you curiously then go about his routine.”

“Well, since you know him so well, then why did he have me picked up this morning?”

There’s a brief silence before the man next to you responds.

“He did note that you were late for the first time, but that wasn’t his issue,” Mr. Ri says, appeasing you before you react negatively and think that your tardiness was a big deal. “He asked if I knew how you got to Hoseok’s place before and I said you would just take the bus; it was closer to your place so it was fine. They have someone to make his breakfast, too, so you didn’t need to come early; plus, you only went every Monday.”

“What a change, huh?” You attempt to poke fun at yourself and the new arrangement you’re in.

Not that you’re complaining; you know of other executive assistants who do much more for their bosses and what you have with Jungkook isn’t even that bad. But it is quite the shift compared to what you did for Hoseok. You’ve figured out your own routine, though. And the commute isn’t always terrible, for as long as you’re not one of the unlucky ones, given the recent incidents.

“It’s quite the change. I don’t think he realized that until yesterday. He also asked me if I know if you eat properly in the morning. Maybe he thinks you don’t?”

“I’ve skipped meals…” you trail. “And well, I told him that I just eat crackers on the bus. Maybe he thinks I’m losing focus some days.”

“Maybe he’s just concerned.”

You snort at the absurdity of the statement.

Mr. Ri sighs. He knows that Jungkook hasn’t been his best self since he arrived in Seoul, and especially towards you. He’s noticed the young man’s indifference, the occasional passive remark, the frustrated looks, and the tension every morning. He’s noticed your faraway eyes, too, your constant anxiety, and unusual lack of confidence in your usual tasks, given that you look to be second-guessing everything you do.

As someone who’s worked for the Jeons for so long and who’d watched Jungkook grow up, he’s used to the detachment, but it was always because the young man often lived in his own head. There are always lots of thoughts and ideas, and lots of feelings he keeps bottled in.

But he’s also seen Jungkook’s kindness that he doesn’t always show, the guilt and anger that restrain him from expressing his emotions, and the care that he seems to put a brake on when he shows too much of it to someone, and so it isn’t much of a surprise to him to him when the young man gave this specific instruction to pick you up, not just today but everyday moving forward.

“The news on the radio reported on the robberies and complaints of sexual harassment against female commuters last night,” Mr. Ri continues. “They attack at any hour now. I’m sure that’s why. He wants me to drive you home everyday, too.”

“Mr. Ri, that’s too much,” you protest. “That’s not part of my contract and it isn’t his responsibility.”

“Maybe, precisely why I think he’s concerned. It isn’t about making sure you’re not late to work or anything. He’s worried that something might happen to you. And I agree. It isn’t safe, ___.”

“It’s not safe for me anywhere. I just… it’s too much,” you sigh. “I don’t need this kind of service. I’m not entitled to it.”

“He’ll insist though. Will you argue with him over your own security? I mean, it’s either this or he’ll pay for your driving lessons and then request for a car for you to use.”

You sigh, knowing he has a point. You don’t think you deserve it but you also can’t deny that the concern makes you feel a certain kind of way for him; gratitude, for one, and something else you can’t exactly name.

“Okay,” you say softly.

“Good. It’s about time he makes it up to you,” he chuckles. “Boy’s been a brat these past weeks. I wanted to just knock some sense into him.”

“Hmm, not like I expected any less,” you huff. “He just looked grumpy or disinterested during the times I’ve seen him before. Unhappy people like that aren’t always the kindest. Has he always been that way?”

“I wouldn’t say he has. I mean, he just wasn’t joyful or expressive, not like his brother. Jungkook liked to keep to himself; Hoseok often tried to push him out of his comfort zone but the boy wouldn’t really budge. I think as he grew up, that just amplified. People who prefer being alone have their reasons, don’t they?”

They do. You know this just like anyone, perhaps as much as Jungkook. It’s comfortable being alone; there’s no one to hurt you and no one you could hurt. You wonder if his reason is the same, and if, like you, he feels the loneliness creep in every once in a while.

You nod in silence and the conversation doesn’t continue until you arrive at Jungkook’s building. You have five minutes to get to his unit and you get there in three. When you enter, you hear grunting from the gym, and it’s shortly after when he exits and drinks the glass of water on the counter.

“What’s that?” He gestures at the plastic container next to you.

“It’s fried rice. I made it this morning because I had time to eat breakfast at home,” you say, softly smiling and then bowing at him to show your gratitude. Whatever his reason is, the act was appreciated.

“And you’re gonna eat again?”

“I was actually–”

You stop midway. You actually meant to serve it to him in case you arrived late, which you realize is pretty ridiculous.

“Actually what?” He asks, leaning forward on the counter now, with his bare arms from his tank top blinding you a little.

“I didn’t know what time I was gonna get here so I thought as a last resort, I’ll bring this to heat up and serve to you but then I realized that that’s pretty stupid because it’s leftovers and definitely not high-quality ingredients and it’s… just silly. Plus, you don’t eat rice in the morning.”

With his scrunched brows, he asks, “is it good?”

“It’s pretty delicious,” you say. “I mean, I liked it. I don’t know how sophisticated your palate is… Mr. Jeon.”

You smack yourself internally for rambling.

“What’s that got to do with anything? If it’s good, then it’s good.”

“I’m an ordinary person, Mr. Jeon. I have normal people’s taste buds.”

“So that makes me, what? Abnormal?”

“No… I–” you unknowingly pout. You shouldn’t have brought this in the first place.

Jungkook is disarmed again at the sight of your pouty face. If this is your way of thanking him for this morning, he’ll take it. The fact that you’d brought something you cooked from your own place to feed to him is already enough to make him feel hazy, which is why he needs to get away from you right away.

“Just heat it up. I’ll have that. There’s not much food in here anyway,” he says, walking away, leaving you no room to resist.

You do as you’re told, not wanting to overthink and change anything. You do check the cupboard and see a stashed pantry, and you wonder if he’d wanted to find something to criticize about your cooking, too.

He walks in and lets you fix his tie again, and for some reason, you feel more nervous than you normally do today. You sit and busy yourself with responding to emails as he eats his breakfast, careful not to look at him while he does.

“It’s good, a little better than how I do mine,” he says, surprising you.

“You cook?” You ask too quickly.

“Of course,” he frowns, looking a little offended. “I lived on my own for years. How do you think I survived?”

“Hiring people to do it for you,” you shrug.

Peeking at him once again, you see that he’s almost finished with the dish, and you can’t help the little smile on your face at the thought that he might actually enjoy it. It’s just fried rice, but you let yourself feel the shallow happiness from this. He’s at least not berating you or anything.

He finishes his meal as you go through yesterday’s meetings. There’s not much about the Arts Center he says, just like yesterday and the day before, and you start to wonder if the issue with his father has anything to do with that.

You let it go, opting to just follow his pace and let him talk about it when he’s ready, if he ever will be.

The morning goes by smoothly. Jungkook meets with Yoongi in his office then reviews the reports you’d sent last Monday. He sends you an email, saying that they’ve been approved and for you to attach his signature for sign-off and dissemination, leaving you perplexed at the lack of any other comments again.

He goes for a quick lunch at the dining hall while you eat a sandwich at the pantry, and not long after, you’re back in the car to head to Jungkook’s appointment with his best friend.

Kim Taehyung’s tailor shop boasts of classic European design. It’s elegant in all the ways that he is, as he stands by the desk in his working space, a smaller room on the mezzanine floor with an exquisite couch and displays of his work. He’s donned in an orange suit that you think only he can pull off, while his brother, Seokjin, sits on a chair in an impeccable black 3-piece.

You know as much that Jungkook grew up with both men, but while the brothers are often a hot topic on the news because of their wealth, their successful businesses, and colorful dating lives, you now wonder how Jungkook managed to stay out of the spotlight despite being a lot of the things that they are.

You bow at them after Jungkook introduces you as his assistant, and you’re surprised when Seokjin reaches out his hand to shake yours, bowing as well and offering you a kind smile. Taehyung does the same, and you can’t help but feel the warmth on your cheeks. They’re clearly incredibly handsome men with amazing styles, just like your boss, but they’re obviously respectful and gentle, unlike him.

“Nice to meet you, Ms. Cho,” Taehyung smiles. “So, what events do I need to dress my best friend for?”

He looks warm, friendly, and you can’t help but mirror his smile as he offers you a seat and some tea. You take out your calendar and enumerate at least three big events in the next months, which would require standout designs. Jungkook also wants four additional everyday classic suits, and Taehyung starts sketching on his pad as you speak.

“Make one for my event, too,” Seokjin says. “I’m launching my traditional alcohol brand in Singapore in September. It’ll be a big thing so Jungkook needs a fancy piece for that as well.”

“That soon?” Jungkook asks.

“Yeah, it got pushed early,” Seokjin replies.

Jungkook asks you to check his calendar for any activities in the Singapore office, and you state that there’s nothing scheduled during that time.

“There’s a landscape designer I want to meet while I’m there. Schedule one with her later,” Jungkook instructs you, and you make a note to coordinate with Lucas, who will continue to serve as the assigned assistant for the Vice President’s Southeast Asia trips.

Taehyung finishes the rough designs quickly, given that he’s already familiar with the style his client wants. He’s done a lot of Jungkook’s suits, which you know from all the weeks of preparing his clothes, and you do admit that he looks best in these custom-made pieces.

As Taehyung takes Jungkook’s measurements - given that, as per his words, Jungkook has gotten wider since the last time - he asks if you have something to wear for those big events, too.

“Uh, yes,” you say.

“Are they from company events from before?” Taehyung asks.

You nod shyly. It’s not like you’re paid enough to afford a new one every time nor can you wear them anywhere else; there aren’t exactly regular fancy dinners and social occasions you get invited to.

“Have new ones made, then,” Jungkook says, his back turned to you.

“Uh, there’s no need, Mr. Jeon. The gowns still look new and they’re well-made,” you insist.

“Store-bought?” Taehyung asks, his eyebrow cocked.

“Uh, yes, Mr. Kim.”

“Nothing beats custom-designed ones though. And I must say, I’m kinda good at them.”

“I, uh… it’s really not necessary,” you stutter, feeling a little too shy and definitely undeserving. It’s Kim Taehyung; his name is the brand.

“I believe it is,” Jungkook says now, turning to you. “They’re big events and we’re organizing one with the arts professionals. Some dignitaries will be coming, too, including the culture minister. I’d prefer if you looked the part of working for the Vice President, Ms. Cho. You represent me in that way.”

“I… uh, okay,” you sigh, knowing you don’t seem to be in a position to turn him down.

“Great. Start thinking of designs, then!” Taehyung beams.

It’s some minutes later when Jungkook’s measurements have been taken and Taehyung calls for you. You sit on the chair facing his desk not far away while Jungkook and Seokjin talk about sports and this new club that opened in Gangnam.

Seated in front of you, Taehyung takes his sketch pad and starts asking what design you want.

“Something simple and comfortable since I’ll be moving around,” you say softly. “And nothing form-fitting or revealing since, uh…”

“I understand,” Taehyung smiles, revealing a gentle side of him that the paparazzi and tabloids clearly don’t capture.

He starts drawing your silhouette, glancing at you then at Jungkook before speaking.

“So, he’s been in this role for a few weeks now. Has he been nice?”

“Define ‘nice,’” you respond, earning you a chuckle.

“I guess that’s my answer, then.”

“I don’t mean to say he isn’t,” you backtrack. “Mr. Jeon just has a different leadership style as Mr. Jung’s, that’s all.”

“I suppose that’s quite a difficult adjustment for you, huh?”

You purse your lips and Taehyung laughs, the soft way he does it is something new and refreshing to you. You didn’t realize how deprived you are of such gentleness, of such acts or sights as simple as a smile. Hoseok is no longer your source. Your team hasn’t been as jolly these past weeks. The only other person you talk to regularly at work is Yoongi, and while he’s definitely been smiling more, it’s a lot more teasing than it is comforting. You’ve been missing your best friends more because of that, you think - Soomin’s smile is blinding, Jimin’s is sweet and infectious. Perhaps it’s why you haven’t been smiling much yourself.

“I won’t tell, don’t worry,” Taehyung assures you. “I just wanted to check on him. This whole move has been tough but he doesn’t say much. I’m guessing he doesn’t tell you, either, but he’ll definitely show it.”

“He has, actually,” you say softly, knowing now that even with his closest friends, Jungkook tends to keep things to himself. “He’s pretty stressed most days, always working and stuff. He’s been a little hard on me but I guess that’s a natural reaction for some.”

“That’s not an excuse though.”

“It isn’t, but… it’s okay. I can handle it.”

It’s not as much of a lie anymore as it used to be. Jungkook hasn’t been overly critical about things as he was just last week. He rarely makes comments on your minutes now, doesn’t correct the reports you reviewed, doesn’t talk over you or doesn’t yell. There’s been a change, definitely, and you wonder what triggered it.

“He doesn’t really smile, does he?” You ask, your curiosity getting the better of you.

Taehyung’s laughter is one of disbelief and pure amusement, catching the attention of the other two men but he waves them off.

“He still does, just not as much,” he responds. “It kinda stopped after the breakup with Chaerin but I guess that’s what heartbreak does, right?”

“I… wouldn’t know. I’ve never experienced it,” you shrug.

“Lucky,” he hums. “I don’t wish it on anyone.”

You glance at Jungkook, briefly letting yourself imagine a version of him that’s a lot more carefree, relaxed, perhaps happy. Maybe it’s the loneliness and that you’d understand; that, you’ve experienced. It’s both liberating and isolating. You wonder if that’s how he’s been feeling all these years since then.

“I’m done,” Taehyung announces, showing you three designs that are exactly what you asked for.

“These look nice. And way out of my price range,” you laugh.

“Perks of having a rich boss,” he winks. “I don’t want you to worry about anything, okay? You’re my client and I want you to wear these with confidence. Now, if you’re okay with all this, I’ll get one of my female assistants to get your measurements.”

You nod in response. There’s absolutely nothing you would change about those designs. And if you’re being honest, you now can’t wait for those events just so you could wear them. Hoseok had obviously paid for the gowns you had to wear for the big events, but those were store-bought that A-yeong helped you choose. Some were your own purchases, but this is the first time that you’re getting measured for custom-made clothing designed by Kim Taehyung.

You walk towards the fitting room at the corner where one of his staff meets you. She’s meticulous, which is why it takes longer than usual just to get this done. With her silence, however, you’re able to hear the conversation happening outside, with the brothers now asking Jungkook about the same thing you’ve been wondering about.

“By the way, what was up with you last Monday?” Seokjin asks. “I thought that was gonna be night 4 of you going home with a new woman. But you passed out before you could even ask. And that was just 9PM.”

“Four nights isn’t much, though,” Taehyung laughs. “Didn’t he do that with seven women on seven straight nights when he was in Singapore? That was wild. Was it that stressful there? Or were there just so many to choose from?”

“Shut up. I’m not proud of that,” Jungkook groans. “And that was one time. It never happened again.”

“It never happened seven times straight again,” Seokjin corrects. “You were really living your life out there, huh? Stressful job, a rooftop bar in your apartment building, chauffeur and butler services 24/7, women from all over the world begging to sleep with you…”

“It’s called the post-break up stage,” Taehyung says.

“For six years?!” Seokjin asks incredulously. “It’s either you loved Chaerin that much, you blamed yourself too much, or you just really sucked at moving on.”

“I vote all of the above,” Taehyung states.

“Me, too,” Seokjin claims.

“Fuck you both,” Jungkook groans again.

“I think he also just missed us too much,” Seokjin adds. “Lucas was cleaning up your messes every time, not snapping you out of it. But we’re here now so I guess three straight nights is as far as you’ll go.”

“Two, if you stopped me last Sunday,” Jungkook points out. “You both always insisted that Sundays are a no-no. You were too busy with your own women.”

“May we remind you that you didn’t even make it to our table. You stepped foot in the bar then left five minutes later,” Taehyung says. “But really, what was it about Monday? You seemed angrier than usual.”

“Just… a bunch of things my father said,” Jungkook huffs.

“Did he tell you off again?”

“Not really, surprisingly. He just delivered a message basically, about what the board members were saying about me and my project. Bullshit stuff, you know? I just wanted to forget about it.”

“Did you?”

“Sorta,” Jungkook says. “I still don’t want to talk about it.”

“But it’s still happening, right?” Taehyung asks worriedly. “The Arts Center, I mean. You’ve been wanting to work on that since the building was abandoned five years ago.”

“I don’t know,” Jungkook responds. “I guess. We already put money into it. I’ll just have to make concessions if my father doesn’t side with me on this. I hate to think he’s buying into what those old folks are saying.”

“Ms. Cho, we’re all done,” the staff member tells you, muffling the conversation outside that you couldn’t help but hear.

It felt quite intrusive, hearing how life was like for Jungkook in Singapore, but then again, his personal life seemed to be the topic in the office comfort rooms, and you don’t know how to feel about getting confirmation about those rumors. It felt sad more than anything though, living that kind of life away from friends and family. You wouldn’t know what moving on from a breakup feels like, but you suppose people grieve a lost love in their own ways; you can’t blame them for how they choose to repair the parts of them that broke.

But the bit about his conversation with his father is what bothers you. You’d hate to think that there’s a possibility that Jungkook’s plans won’t be fully realized, and whatever the reasons for that are, you hope they didn’t break his spirit too much. You know the plans now like the back of your hand and the more you learn, the more you believe in it. You hope Jungkook continues to believe in it, too.

You exit the fitting room, catching the end of a conversation where Seokjin suggests a wholesome weekend for the three men of just dinner and drinks. The two other men agree, and they all turn to you once you make your presence felt.

“All good?” Taehyung asks you.

“Yes,” you bow in thanks.

“Great. The gowns will be ready at the same time as Jungkook’s suits will be. I’ll just let you guys know, okay?

“Sure,” Jungkook says. “But anyway, we have to get back to work. Thanks again.”

The brothers bid you and Jungkook goodbye, and you head back to the office with not much words said. Jungkook seems less frustrated, but the worry you feel suddenly returns. It’s the thought that maybe he doesn’t feel supported, that maybe what he’s doing isn’t enough, and that more than that, it's him choosing to deal with all this on his own, not even looking to his friends to comfort him.

Jimin and Soomin meet you for lunch at a restaurant that Saturday afternoon. The drive from Busan took longer than expected, they said, but you say you don’t mind. They’re visiting you like they always do every month, regardless of how busy they are back in their hometown, which was your home for a few years, too.

You were in the same class; your mom worked at the school, which was the only reason why you were able to attend a prestigious one in the first place. Even when you moved back to Daegu, you remained in touch with them. Despite the distance, none of you wanted to just let the friendship fade, and even when they had to stay back and you made a life out here in Seoul, they made sure to visit you as much as they could.

They’re why you were excited for the weekend to come and now, you’ll be enjoying a hearty meal, getting your nails done after, lounging at your apartment, and then heading to a club for a night out, which you only do whenever they’re around.

“So, has the boss situation improved?” Soomin asks, her eyes soft and laced with worry “Or should I storm the jerk’s house and give him a piece of my mind?”

“It has,” you chuckle. “So no need to call him names or fight anyone. I’m okay.”

“Well, you did call him a grumpy old grinch with nice hair the other week,” Jimin points out. “So… did he get a haircut?”

“No,” you laugh again. “And that was in the heat of the moment. I… I mean, he’s still grumpy but he’s not… as grumpy or unbearable. He’s been—”

“Oh hun, please don’t say he’s been kind and then give him a pass for how he’s been to you,” Soomin reprimands. “Mean people don’t just become nice all of a sudden. And if they do, that’s a controlling tactic - they want you to think they’re capable of change so you’ll soften up to them and then give them a pass every time they do asshole-y things again.”

“You watch too many shows,” you frown, although knowing her statement isn’t wrong; it’s just not something you can relate with Jungkook.

Sure, he hasn’t been the nicest, but he also hasn’t been the meanest. He’s just been… him, you suppose - a bit in the middle; frustrated at worst, quiet at best, stoic on most days. He does seem to live in his head a lot, and while you won’t go so far as characterizing him as kind, he definitely hasn’t been insufferable these past few days.

“I’ve just dealt with too many assholes, ___,” Soomin corrects. “They’re all the same. Men are shit.”

“Except for Jimin,” you correct.

“Except for Jimin,” she concurs.

“I accept the honor,” he bows. “But seriously, ___. How has it been? You… you seemed really sad last week and I would’ve driven here then if we didn’t have that work emergency.”

“I’m okay, I mean it. I’ve experienced worse,” you try to assure them.

“You do know that having experienced something worse doesn’t mean it’s fine for you to experience something bad again, right?” Soomin points out.

“I know, but it also means that I know my threshold for bad behavior,” you say. “Jungkook was in a lot of stress and I did mess up. But I think he’s making up for that.”

“By apologizing, you mean?” Soomin cocks an eyebrow.

Your sigh tells her that’s definitely not what Jungkook has done.

“Well, he approves my minutes and reviewed reports much quicker,” you reason. “And he doesn’t comment as much. But actually, I think he just pities me. And that’s worse.”

“Why would he pity you?” She asks.

“I don’t know. Maybe because I said that a tree fell on our roof and that mom got injured the weekend before my mishap,” you explain. “And then he found out how early I start my day just so I can get to him on time. He’s made adjustments after those and I… I think he’s guilty or something. And he’s just not being his usual angry self around me to make it up to me.”

“So in short, he’s still kind of an asshole,” Soomin says, prompting Jimin to snort and you to pout. “He could always just apologize if he’s guilty and realized he should treat you better.”

“Some things aren’t easy for other people to say, you know?” You say softly.

“That’s not an excuse,” she points out.

“It’s an explanation,” you counter. “Or one of them, I guess. I don’t know him well enough, but it’s better to think that he’s a decent person who just struggles with emotions than someone who willingly makes people’s lives difficult. I mean, that’s easier to manage and accept.”

“If that helps you deal and he’s indeed improving, then maybe I won’t have to storm his place then,” she smiles, taking your hand and kissing it as she likes to do.

She knows your habit of pressing your nails onto your skin, and she always said she likes to remind you that you deserve gentleness, too; she’ll give it if you can’t give it to yourself.

The rest of the afternoon goes as you planned, with all the banter you’d expect from your best friends amid the pampering and then the chick flick in the background as you get ready in your tiny apartment.

You smile at your reflection in the mirror. The high-waist trousers and sleeveless top ensemble is a refreshing sight for you, as you only really dress up like this for a night out. You’re in your usual pencil skirts and blouses otherwise, and in jeans and tops or oversized jumpers on a normal day.

Soomin’s done your makeup and Jimin compliments you as he looks on, and soon enough, they’re ready as well to head out.

“Where’re we going?” You ask from the passenger seat as Jimin navigates the busy streets of Seoul on a Saturday night.

“Some new restaurant the guys discovered,” Soomin responds. “I think it’s not far from here.”

“Okay, good. Hajoon’s been texting, asking what time we’ll get there,” you tell them.

“Geez, you were already with him last night. Tell him to be patient,” Jimin rolls his eyes.

Soomin laughs from the backseat as she teases that he’s just being jealous, to which he points out that he just hasn’t seen you in a while so the man can wait. And you assure Jimin that you’d gladly skip a night with Hajoon to be with your best friends, no questions asked.

You get there eventually, and you immediately spot the group because of the laughter coming from their table. There are four men; the two women are Soomin’s friends, which is how you got involved with Hajoon in the first place. You met some time last year and you’ve been hanging out with him since then - among other things - and you’ve been enjoying it, given the simplicity and lack of drama when he’s not being moody. He’s a warm body who knows how to use it and you’re a good type of relief, as he’d said; there’s really not much more you need as you just try to survive through life and make something out of yourself in however way you can.

Hajoon waves at you from his seat, gesturing to his left to say he’s saved that spot for you. You head there after greeting your other friends, with Jimin and Soomin following you.

Right as you sit down and greet the man next to you, you’re caught by surprise when he kisses your cheek and snakes his arm around your waist.

“Hey, I missed you today,” Hajoon hums, smiling at you the way he did last night and this morning; it definitely wasn’t this sweet when he left for a work trip last month.

“I… saw you today,” you frown, earning you a chuckle.

“I know; I was still thinking about you, though,” he says.

You give a smile - as genuine as you can make it - and then turn towards your friends to your left who are trying to hold in their laughter.

You order a beer after he offers you a glass of wine, and then go for the pork belly when he says the salmon here is good.

“Just craving for meat, that’s all,” you tell him.

“Is there anything else you want? Just let me know, okay?”

You hum your yes and then turn back to your friends after Hajoon makes jokes with his.

“Since when was he this sweet to you?” Soomin whispers with wide, curious eyes.

“Since never,” you reply. “I mean, we’ve never been affectionate outside of bed…”

“Is anything else different?” Jimin wonders, careful not to bring attention to your conversation.

You look back at how things were before Hajoon left and how it was when he was away. Nothing seemed different. You hung out at his place before he flew out, then you messaged each other every now and then during the one month he was abroad. He was more interested to talk, but given the time difference and the pressure and stress you’ve been under the past weeks, you didn’t bother much, neither did he.

But you also think back to last night - how he picked you up from your apartment, which he’s never done before, and how he prepared a luxurious dinner. He made you breakfast this morning, too, whereas you both usually just sleep in in tangled limbs and then separate once you wake up.

“He cooked me fancy stuff but I just thought he wanted to show off what he learned during his cooking masterclass,” you shrug. “And well… he seemed sweeter than normal.”

“Maybe he hooked up with someone while he was away and he’s guilty about it,” Jimin suggests.

“He didn’t say anything about it and he knows I wouldn’t mind,” you say. “We’re not exclusive, even if I don’t hang out with other guys.”

“Maybe he’s over the fucking and wants to do the loving bit now,” Soomin offers. “I mean, he always seemed more into you than you were into him.”

“He’s hot and decent when he’s in a good mood; that’s all I need,” you admit.

“But honestly, that’s probably it,” Soomin continues. “I think he’s hinting that he wants to be more.”

“But I don’t want to,” you whine. “I’m not ready.”

“You’re 30! When are you ever gonna be ready?” Soomin whisper-yells.

“Never!” You pout now. “I mean… Not with him.”

“Well, you’re gonna have to tell him soon, then,” Jimin sighs. “Before it gets messy. And you hate messy.”

“What if men just don’t have feelings?” Soomin wonders out loud. “That way, you can’t hurt them.”

“So that way, they can hurt you?” Jimin points out. “No. I’m not letting any men hurt either one of you, okay? I love you both too much.”

“We know,” you and Soomin say at the same time.

“But I agree with Jimin, ___. You’re gonna have to let that man next to you, who’s thankfully deaf, go. And then just find another person who can give you what you need,” Soomin continues. “Like, uh…”

She looks around the semi-packed restaurant to find some random man to just point to, her eyes widening in awe as she spots a table close by with the type of men she was just thinking about.

“Like them.”

You laugh at her, not taking her seriously, but still, you look towards the direction of her cocked head, only to feel your throat dry up and your heartbeat speed up. Your eyes widen in reflex as they meet the piercing gaze of the man who’d given you a headache for weeks. He also happens to look unfairly handsome in his white top and slicked back hair.

“Shit, I would totally go for them,” Soomin adds, “and I only even like men a quarter of the time.”

Your best friends look at you as they wait for a response, only to see a nervous look on your face, as if you’re seeing a ghost or something, and the way you turn to them and stutter almost seems like you are.

From the other table, Jungkook pants quietly. You finally looked his way, and he didn’t know what to expect your reaction to be - maybe a bit of shock, but definitely not this worried. Granted, you’re out with your friends at a restaurant that he and his friends frequent. It’s not the type of place they’d normally go for - this is a lot simpler, less private, and more accommodating than the exclusive restaurants and hotels they go to for dinners before heading to a club. But Jungkook loves their pork belly; he orders it every week, and tonight, he was craving for this specifically before going to a private party of one of Taehyung’s clients.

Jungkook had seen you when you sat down, and he’d been taken aback when the guy to your right immediately kissed your cheek; it seems he’s barely let go of your waist since then, too. Perhaps the man is your boyfriend - and Jungkook doesn’t know what made him think you wouldn’t have one - but it also seems that the one to your left is into you, too, at least based on how he smiles at you sweetly but rolls his eyes at the affectionate guy to your other side.

But other than the embarrassing obvious affection that both of them are directing at you, what made him lose his senses is how you look, and you’re even more beautiful than he imagined. Your hair is styled, your makeup is bolder than usual, and he won’t even start with how you’re dressed. It’s a lot more skin than he’s used to - you’re out, after all, and if he’ll go by what your companions are wearing, he supposes this is your stop before heading to some club to party, too. Whereas when you’re at work, you have the skirt and long-sleeved blouse ensemble that you wear everyday - still pretty, perhaps just a lot more reserved than what he’s seeing now.

He can’t take his eyes off you, even as you entertain your suppose-boyfriend, even when you engage in hushed conversation with the man and woman to your left, and even when you stare back at him, the initial shock now wearing down to a look of curiosity. Perhaps you’re wondering why he keeps glancing at you, too.

“I told you he’s got it bad,” Taehyung laughs from the other side of the table.

He’s noticed how his friend hasn’t said much in the last 10 minutes, his gaze directed at the loud table close by. One glance and Taehyung knew why.

“Well, we told him,” Seokjin corrects. “He only ever acts out when he’s threatened and he’s apparently threatened by his pretty assistant.”

“I’m not acting out,” Jungkook scowls, finally breaking the staring contest with you.

“You’ve never been this much of a jerk,” Seokjin says. “So yes, you’re acting out.”

Jungkook ignores them, his eyes turning back to you, and finds you downing two shots of tequila consecutively, then using the beer as your chaser. His knuckles unconsciously clench when your suppose-boyfriend scoots closer, whispering something in your ear, his lips grazing your skin.

Jungkook exhales deeply, trying to get a grip of himself. He’s acting foolishly. You obviously have a life outside of work, and it obviously includes going out for dinner and drinks with friends, having a boyfriend, and enjoying your youth the way he is. There’s a world outside of the routine you’ve both created, of the silence you both share, and the time you spend together, unknowingly learning about each other without meaning to, without wanting to.

“___,” Soomin calls your name one more time.

“Huh?” You answer, finally tearing your eyes away from Jungkook, who’d unfortunately captured your attention after you noticed he was there.

You’ve been used to his impeccable looks in his fancy suits; you’ve even gotten used to his tank top and sweatpants post-workout outfits every morning, and while you’re still not immune to that look, his night out wear fit for a party leaves you more choked up than normal.

Maybe it’s the black jeans that you spot as he sits on the edge of the couch, or the white button-up top with the rolled sleeves up to his elbow, or his haircut that makes him look a little more mature. Maybe it’s all that and the way he’s gazing at you, the look in his eyes something you can’t quite read. Perhaps like you, he’s surprised to see you here the way you’re shocked that he’d chosen this place to eat; it’s not exactly a fancy restaurant you know he likes eating at.

But he’s here, and so are you, and suddenly you feel exposed, as if the world outside of work that you’ve kept to yourself is baring open to the man who stands at the center of what you do everyday. And you’re not sure how you feel about that.

“I was just saying… those men are pretty hot and they look interested, too,” Soomin wiggles her eyebrows. “ I mean, they keep looking here.”

“One of them is my boss,” you finally say. “Guy on the right. That’s… uh, that’s Jungkook.”

“Holy fuck, hun,” Soomin chokes on her drink. “Why did you leave out the part about your rude boss being a fucking god?”

“Does it matter?” Jimin scowls. “He’s still rude.”

“It’s different when the guy’s hot. It makes the anger more intense, you know?” Soomin says. “Attractive people elicit more passionate feelings sometimes.”

“Excuse me, that’s not why I was angry,” you pout. “He was really being unfair.”

“Well, he was. But I think my point also applies,” Soomin argues. “I’d just like to warn you that workplace hotties are a menace. Except for Yoongi - he was heaven sent. ”

“Ah, the man who could’ve been,” Jimin sighs. “We at least knew he wouldn’t hurt you. He didn’t seem like the type.”

“Yeah, this dude over here is hot but he’s mean. And that’s your type,” Soomin smirks.

“Can we… not talk about this while he’s there? And while this other dude is right next to me?” You glare at your friends, especially at Soomin whose insinuation wasn’t lost on you. “It’s so… weird.”

“Hey, we’re here for you, okay?” Jimin softens as he looks at you. “Just let us know if one of them makes you feel uncomfortable. We can always just stay at your place and watch horror movies until morning and you and Soomin can lose your voices from screaming and then I’ll lose my hearing because of it.”

His words make you laugh. There’s a tenderness in Jimin that you’ve never heard from anyone else before. Even when he’s telling you to stop yelling because you live for the thrill of a jumpscare, he says it so tenderly while laughing before pulling you both in his embrace.

“I’m okay. I’m just… I don’t know, probably just not used to seeing him somewhere that isn’t the office or his home,” you reason. “And I feel a bit exposed, I guess. This is my world and his is… right there.”

You wrap your arms around your body subconsciously, realizing only you’d done it when Jimin asks if you’re cold, offering his jacket then taking it back because Hajoon might smack him or something.

You turn it down, knowing you actually feel hot more than anything. You’re dressed up and definitely dressed in less, and somehow having Jungkook see you like this is oddly making you shy, perhaps a little too conscious.

“Just don’t mind him,” Soomin advises. “It’s a restaurant. You obviously have a social life and he can’t fault you for it, nor make you feel weird about it. Just focus on us, okay? Or on Hajoon, if that’ll happen.”

You follow her words and try to block out Jungkook. You do slightly nod at him, as well as at Taehyung and Seokjin just to acknowledge their presence, but you continue on with your meal, as the dishes arrive soon after.

The pork belly is a winner; you’ll probably come back here for that alone. You do manage to dodge Hajoon’s attempts at feeding you, and your other friends engage with the three of you at the other end of the table. It’s going well for the most part, until Hajoon starts to act a little wary, a little tense.

“Hey,” he says, leaning close to you. “The guy on the other table has been looking at you all night. It’s kinda annoying.”

You glance at Jungkook’s table and he looks away when you do. “Oh, just don’t mind him,” you wave Hajoon off. “Maybe I remind him of someone or something.”

There’s a beat of silence, and you feel him tense even more, as you look up and see that he’s staring down the man on the other side. Hajoon’s had a bit to drink, and you know he tends to be cocky and irrational when he is. You groan once he shakes his head, saying he’s gonna give “that stranger” a piece of his mind because “he can’t be looking at my girl like that.”

The initial annoyance you feel turns into panic once he stands from his seat and storms to the other table. You follow him, with your friends just looking in worry. His friends are more encouraging of what he wants to do though.

“What the fuck is your problem staring at my girl like that?” Hajoon mumbles, acting all tough when he’s never threatened nor confronted anyone like this, even when he’s drunk.

Jungkook seems taken aback. Perhaps it’s the aggression he didn’t expect, or maybe it’s finally having to acknowledge your presence in the restaurant, just in an unfortunate way.

“Your girl?” He scoffs.

The way the man is speaking to him is quite annoying, but he also knows your boyfriend is slightly drunk, so he dismisses him because Jungkook doesn’t need this drama tonight, especially not in front of you.

Hajoon hates the way this stranger is looking at him and not taking him seriously. He’d seen how he kept glancing at you, perhaps trying to get your attention away from him, and he’s really had enough. His words are slurring but this is the courage he needs to stand up for you. You’ve said before how unwanted attention makes you uncomfortable, and he’s gonna do something about it before the man gets to try anything with you.

“Yeah, my girl. You seem to have a problem with that, don’t you?” Hajoon grunts.

“My only problem is you making a scene right now,” Jungkook shakes his head. “You’re drunk and insecure and you’re embarrassing yourself in front of your girl.”

Not that you expected him to back off, but you didn’t actually think that Jungkook would further press Hajoon’s buttons. The man is drunk and insecure and indeed embarrassing, but getting told so is a blow to the ego, especially in your presence. And so you’re not surprised that this just makes him angrier, and since you’ve never dealt with this version of him before, you don’t know how to pacify him.

You didn’t actually think that Hajoon had a daring bone in his body despite being the way he is, but when he attempts to lunge at Jungkook, you’re left in disbelief. You’re quick enough to pull Hajoon back before he lands a fist on the other man’s face, but he’d been worked up enough that he hits the glass of wine on the table, knocking it over and causing the drink to spill on Jungkook’s thin white top.

“Mr. Jeon!” You shriek, pulling Hajoon back more forcefully before pushing him to the side so you can get ahead.

You take the napkin from the table and wipe Jungkook’s wet clothed torso, slowing down immediately as you realize what exactly it is you’re doing.

“I… uh,” you stutter, standing straight up and mirroring his questioning eyes.

It was a reflex for you, considering that you constantly make sure that he’s dressed impeccably.

“You know him?!” Hajoon asks in disbelief, tugging on your hand now so you’ll turn to him.

“He’s my boss, you idiot!” smacking him on the chest as you glare at him. “And you just put my job in jeopardy and for what?”

“Well, what can he do?” Hajoon challenges. “Get you fired because of me? Does he own the company and shit?”

“My father does,” Jungkook responds. “And I’m the Vice President.”

Hajoon just rolls his eyes but you aren’t amused. You glance at your table and gesture for one of his friends to take him, so one of them does. He stands up and pulls Hajoon away before he can do or say anything else.

“I’m so, so sorry, Mr. Jeon,” you say, your head bowed down as you apologize. “I…”

The mess on his outfit is too much; the red has stained the white top and you know he feels sticky. He looks like he has somewhere to go after this and that makes it worse.

“I– I can call Mr. Ri to get the car in here. I can get extra clothes from your travel bag,” you say, knowing that Jungkook always has a bag filled with clothes for emergency flights or check-ins.

You get your phone and make a call, telling Jungkook that his chauffeur will be here soon. You glance towards your friends who are still pacifying a drunk Hajoon, and you decide that they can handle all that. Right now, your priority is Jungkook.

You walk out towards the car that’s on hazard mode outside the restaurant and pick out the top that’s most appropriate for a night out, which happens to be a semi-loose black button-up. You head back inside, with Taehyung and Seokjin informing you that Jungkook has gone to the washroom, so you scurry towards there and knock at the door.

“Mr. Jeon, I have your black long sleeves here,” you say as your knuckles tap on the wood. “Just tell me–”

You’re interrupted by the sudden opening of the door, the sight of Jungkook in his jeans hanging by his waist and his unbuttoned white top catching you by surprise. His hair’s a bit damp and so is his bare torso, as you see that he’s tried to clean the wine off his body.

You catch yourself looking longer than you should, and you immediately look away as you hand him over what he needs.

“Please let me know what else you need, sir,” you say, your eyes glued to the pretty wallpaper as you awkwardly stand outside the washroom.

“Jungkook,” he says, earning him a curious look. “I mean, you don’t need to be formal. We’re not at work.”

You nod, realizing it does sound weird to address him as such in a casual setting.

“Okay… Jungkook,” you mumble, but even the way it rolls off your tongue is a bit odd. You’re not used to it, and you hope you won’t ever be.

He closes the door and you take this time to calm yourself down. You’ve been so worried since you saw the glass tip over and mess up his outfit, and given his hot-headedness, you’re a little surprised that he didn’t fight back. He does have a reputation to uphold but even then, stopping himself from punching Hajoon must’ve taken a lot.

The door opens and you sigh in relief; his outfit still looks good and he’s fully clothed, so there’s no lingering looks this time anymore. You take the top that he gives you, and you take the chance to apologize.

“I’m so sorry,” you start. “I don’t know why he— I mean, he’s a bit drunk and he’s not usually like this.”

“You’re not the one who should apologize so don’t,” he responds.

“Well, he won’t apologize so I will.”

“You didn’t spill the drink and you didn’t come at me. That was him,” he counters.

You just shrug, choosing to just concede. “I’ll just return this to Mr. Ri.”

He calls your name before you turn around to leave.

“I didn’t mean to cause a rift between you and your boyfriend,” he says, much too low and too gentle than you’re used to. “I hope I didn’t ruin anything.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you answer softly. “We just, uh, we just hang out.”

You don’t know why you feel the need to correct this misinformation. Maybe you just want to remind yourself because you’re not anyone’s anything; hearing Hajoon claim you as yours made you want to just create that distance even more.

Jungkook wants to push it, to ask more. The man clearly acts like he’s your lover, given the physical affection and the way he tried to stand up for you. But there’s a bit of shame as you state that you and the man “just hang out,” and there’s that wonder he feels - how can you be with someone without being with them, and if turning away people who are clearly into you is a tendency you have. There’s Min Yoongi, after all, who’d liked you enough to remain as your friend when you needed one despite how he felt.

“Okay then,” Jungkook nods. “And your job’s not in jeopardy. Don’t take responsibility for a stupid act you didn’t do.”

You bow in thanks, not much used to this side of him that’s understanding and even calm. You suppose he’d seen you worry about your job, had seen you look embarrassed over something that you didn’t even do, and perhaps he saw the discomfort over how Hajoon was talking about you.

You’re about to walk out of the hallway when his call of your name stops you again, prompting you to turn around.

“About earlier… did I… did I make you feel uncomfortable?” He asks, the worry in his voice surprising you.

You debate over playing it down or telling the truth, but you go with the latter.

“A… a little,” you admit, looking away.

You hear him sigh, and there’s a look of guilt in his eyes as you turn to him.

“I’m so—”

The footsteps of another diner in the hallway disrupts him, and you both make way so he can use the washroom, too. Perhaps you and Jungkook had taken so long, and you don’t want others to conspire about what’s happening, so you walk out and tell him again that you’ll just return his clothing to Mr. Ri.

From your table, Soomin and Jimin watch the awkwardness of your parting of ways, with you scurrying out the door and Jungkook returning to his seat with a deep sigh before glaring at Hajoon.

“He does sound and look like an asshole, aside from being hot,” Soomin observes. “That’s totally ___’s type.”

“Are you saying she likes her boss?” Jimin asks incredulously.

“I’m just saying that’s her type, not that she likes him,” Soomin corrects. “There’s a difference. I still hate him for making things hard for her. I wish he would stop treating her like that. You and I know she won’t quit anytime soon. Especially because he’s a Jeon.”

“I know,” Jimin sighs. “I wish we could protect her from all this, too. But she’s always done what she wanted to do. And we wait for her to tell us when things are hard; we just hold her hand whenever it is.”

“That’s all we can do, I guess,” Soomin responds. “Sometimes though I wish she’d just… let someone else do more than just hold her hand, you know? It could’ve been Yoongi, or even Hajoon before all this mess. It could’ve been you.”

“You know that’ll never happen,” Jimin laughs bitterly, with Soomin knowing exactly what he means. “You’re only ever just her friend or her lover; you can’t be both.”

Soomin hums in agreement, as she’d seen you draw the line with the men you’d come across with. You’d make it clear if friendship is all you want; you’d be straightforward if it’s just sex you’re seeking. You give either just your heart or your body and you’re always careful not to give both. There are parts of you that you don’t want to share, that you don’t want to expose to them; there’s a kind of hurt that you don’t want to experience.

They watch you walk back inside and then head to their table, where you sit next to a buzzed Hajoon who still has half a mind to look at you guiltily.

“I think I’ll head back home after this,” you tell the group. “Kinda not in a partying mood anymore.”

Your other friends apologize on Hajoon’s behalf, proceeding to ask you if that was really your boss and if he’d threatened your job because of it, remarking that it would be such an asshole move of him to do that or to even get mad at you for something you didn’t do.

You come to Jungkook’s defense; he didn’t say anything to that effect at all. Perhaps you’d been the unfair one who assumed that he would - that he’d demand that you apologize, that he’d use this against you.

“He’s… not like that,” you say, meaning it. You turn to your best friends who have disagreeing looks. “He… he tried to apologize for making me feel uncomfortable,” you say softly. “No one’s ever done that before.”

“Look, ___,” Hajoon starts, but you cut him off.

“I don’t really wanna talk about it,” you sigh. “I’ll just pay my bill and head out.”

You, Soomin, and Jimin all pay accordingly and then leave the restaurant, with you turning to Jungkook and his friends, bowing as a form of goodbye.

“Hey, why don’t we buy desserts at a convenience store and have our own party at your place?” Jimin suggests as you all settle in his car.

“That would be nice,” you hum. “This outfit wouldn’t be such a waste then.”

So that’s what you do, as your best friends treat you to all the snacks you love - a usual occurrence, really, as they used to do that back in Busan to cheer you up during the days when you were feeling sad. It’s one of the things that you allow them to spoil you with and they take advantage of that, as you go home with weeks’ worth of goods for you to enjoy.

You also picked up some drinks on the way, so you play some music and dance around with your wine glasses and take shots in between. It’s too early to be drunk but 11PM might as well be 3AM. You’re all seated snugly in your tiny couch as you watch some variety show on mute, laughing at the hosts' antics even if you can’t hear anything.

“Tonight wasn’t so bad,” you huff, leaning on Soomin’s shoulder as you doze off. “Both of you are all I need. Thank you for never disappointing me.”

They know you don’t always let yourself be this sentimental. They also know that when you do, all you want is for them to listen and to hold you. And that’s what they do, as you eventually clean up and fall asleep on the mattress with them, the events from earlier slowly fading away.

Series Masterlist

Permanent Taglist: @sherlynxx @di0rgguk @thequeen-kat @fan-ati--c @cravingforhotchocolate @adoraminie @helenazbmrskai @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @gukssunshine @kookxin @petuliii @yoursthv @libra04 @fancycollectormoon @twixxxpie @ignoretheskies @ohmydarlin-g @bids97 @minyoongiboongi @main-bangtansmauyeondan @bora-bae7 @investedreader @petalsofink @jvngkooker @stopeatread

Series Taglist: @xhazmania @ash07128 @rinkud @junniesoleilkth @junecat18 @peachytokki @baechugff @coralmusicblaze @jalexad @pamzn @hoseoksluv89 @familiarlikemymirror3 @kookies-n-spice @hyuneyeon @thisartemisnevermisses @jk97bam @nadzzzblog @xyarinx @megnugget98 @shameless-army @jkslvsnella @lvr2seok @nayashalouiseburrows @peterstarkchrishiddleston

#jungkook fic #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x oc #jungkook angst #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook fanfiction #boss jungkook #jungkook series #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut

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dragonrider9905 · 6 months ago

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Before TBB Ends...Regardless of HOW it Ends...I've Got to Say Something...

In 2021, TBB was released, and over the last few years, it's grown to mean a lot to me. Not just the stories, the storytelling, the characters whom we've fallen in love with and hope to see more of someday, whose stories we've learned important lessons from, but how it profoundly affected my life.

And it is something I am incredibly grateful for.

Regardless of how the show ends, if it's something I'm going to love or be totally heartbroken over and hate, I'm so glad it happened and went on this journey.

For one, it gave me the plug to start writing. Writing was always a dream of mine but it wasn't until I discovered fanfiction, because of TBB, that I actually realized it. I had this idea of writing and thought I'd never really be able to accomplish that. The show enabled me to move past that and I've been able to be enflamed by my love for writing. It brings me so much happiness. No other show pushed me to write like this one.

Secondly, my writing has allowed me to touch and interact with people. I can't tell you how much it means to me and how thrilled I am to hear and learn my work has touched you in some way. I'm humbled by your words and taking the time to actually read and appreciate what I've written.

Thirdly, I've gone on so many adventures, crazy amazing adventures because of what other brilliant minds I met through the show have written. There are SO many great stories that just hit me so.....I was touched by your stories that you wouldn't have written if you hadn't watched the show!

Lastly, but CERTAINLY not the least, I have made SO many friends and writing buddies because of this show. It has connected me to so many cool people that I otherwise may never have found. I've grown really close with some of you, while others, though we may not be friends per say, I hope we can someday. In the meantime, I will admire your work from here. You guys mean so much to me and I can't even begin to express how wonderful it's been getting to know you over the past few years. The fun experiences we've shared, the theories, the stories, all of it. I am not putting this as well as it was in my head so please forgive that.

This includes but isn't limited to: @eclec-tech @photogirl894 @apocalyp-tech-a @lizartgurl @jedipoodoo @arctrooper69 @carolinetano7567 @trapezequeen @ghostofskywalker @masterjedilenaaa @ladysongmaster @moonstrider9904 @klmwrites @techs-stitches @ovaa-bi-bia @frostycatblr-fandom-files @imabeautifulbutterfly @sverdgeir @oceansssblue @marvel-starwarsfangirl @jedi-hawkins

How about you? What are you guys grateful for? Reblog and share what TBB meant to you!

Copy and paste the red as your header and let's see how many people we can get so share their stories!

I will end with no other quote than this!

"With love comes loss; it's part of the deal. Sometimes it hurts, but in the end, it's all worth it. There's no greater gift than love."

#the bad batch #tbb hunter #star wars #tbb wrecker #tbb crosshair #tbb tech #tbb echo #tbb omega #star wars the bad batch

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pattypanini · 6 months ago

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Danny Wagner x Reader

Last Encore

^my photo btw 🤭^

Summary: A special someone catches a glimpse of your sign at his concert. Little did you know how the night would end.

Word Count: 6.7k

Taglist for Oneshots

A/N: Hi everyone! Here is @mar-rein12 and I's second Danny oneshot. After seeing Danny in concert I've been losing my shit. It's hard to see in the photo but the man made eye contact with me not only here BUT LIKE TWO OTHER TIMES. I have not recovered and yes I'm making a oneshot because I'm delusional! Enjoy our second Danny oneshot, Last Encore.

Warnings: 18+, SMUT, penetrative sex, oral (f + m receiving), praise, LOTSSSS of dirty talk, slight submissive/dom, flirting, choking, slapping, spitting, let me know if i missed any!

Y/N’s POV

You finally got barricade. After so many years of attempts, you always happened to end up a couple rows back in the pit, but not this time.

You are right in the middle, front row, able to get a perfect view of your beloved Danny. He was your favorite. You first started listening to the band in 2020 when you had seen an edit of Sammy. You looked up their band, listened to their music, and discovered their sexy drummer, Danny.

All of them were attractive, of course, but something about Danny drew you in more than you thought possible. Maybe it was the curls, or the prominent nose, or his sculpted body. Maybe it was all of those things, but his talent is what stuck out to you the most.

After buying the tickets you had planned what you were going to wear and a sign you could bring that would get Danny’s attention.

You knew that Danny would be sporting his silver chain top and black pants so you wanted to match. You chose a silver sparkly tube top that pulled you together in all the right places, paired with a black leather mini skirt and matching leather boots.

You had also been thinking about what your sign would say for months. You made the words nice and clear so he would be able to see it from all the way where he was on stage.

Greta Van Fleet Pit ☑️

Barricade ☑️

Bang the hot drummer? ⬜

You knew it would get attention and that nothing would come from it but you have to shoot your shot.

So there you stand, dead center as they are in the middle of playing Highway Tune. You’re holding your sign out in front of you in hopes that Danny would see it, singing along and dancing to the music. You’re smiling like an absolute idiot, just taking in the beauty of all of them and the amazing music they are producing.

Your eyes flick over to Danny, which has happened a lot since the start of the show. He makes eye contact with you very briefly, quickly looking away to focus on his playing. You feel the nerves bubble up in your stomach. He looked at you.

Fuck. That’s all you needed tonight to be satisfied. A few songs go by and they make it back up to the main stage after the acoustic set, you’re still holding your sign out hoping he’ll read it. He sits back down at his drums as Fate of the Faithful begins to float through the arena. Your eyes scan all the men and your eyes land on Danny yet again.

You’re focused in on where his gaze is landing as he scans the barricade. His eyes land on you and the way his eyes are moving you can tell he is reading your sign. A huge smile spreads across your face. He looks away and shakes his head playfully, smiling to himself. The show continues on, you watch Danny catch a glimpse of you every now and then.

You mentally thank yourself for wearing such a low cut shirt. No doubt if you ever had the chance to check off that third box you’d take it in a heartbeat. As the show goes on, your staring contest with Danny was becoming more prevalent to you that it wasn’t a mistake. A fan with a ‘shot for a drumstick?’ sign finally got Danny’s attention and the light in that girl's eyes when he started walking towards her made you so happy. He walked past you, went to the girl and took their shot together.

When you think he is going to continue up the row of people to get back to the stage he turns around and walks back in your direction. Instinctively you shoot your hand out much like all the other people. You nearly crumble into tiny little pieces when his hand collides with yours. His touch lingers a little longer than it should have and he shoots you a flirty wink.

You clutch onto the bar in front of you to stop your legs from giving out. All this just when you thought it couldn't get any better.

The show wraps up, they all bow and walk off stage. You can’t control the happiness you were feeling. You stand there in utter disbelief with the amount of attention you got from Danny tonight. You decide you should probably head out considering you had to get up for work the next morning and lived a couple hours away from the arena.

As you begin to exit the pit a security guard taps you on the shoulder. “Maam I’m going to need you to follow me.” As the large man starts walking towards the back of the stage a million thoughts go through your brain.

Were you going to get in trouble about the sign? Or did you do something wrong?

You were so worried that you thought you should ask the guard what you had done.

“Excuse me, but if you don’t mind me asking what did I do? Am I in some sort of trouble?” You say trying to keep yourself on your feet from falling.

“You were requested by one of the members to come backstage.”

You keep your mouth shut, nervousness beginning to take over your body. You can feel your hands start to anxiously shake, shaking the poster along with them. He leads you over to a dressing room, and leaves you standing alone in front of the door. You swiftly knock on the door and try to stuff the nerves away. Before he opens it you make sure you look okay and scoop your tits up a little more than you’d like to admit. You fluff your hair out to give it a little more volume when you hear the doorknob start to rattle.

When the door is open you are met with 6 feet of pure sexiness. Without saying a word his eyes lead you into his dressing room. You take a step in and he grabs a towel off his vanity and drags it through his sweaty hair.

“You don’t just have to stand there gorgeous, take a seat. Make yourself comfortable” Oh my god his voice was like velvet. He was talking to you. YOU. No one else. You accepted the seat in order to not pass out on the floor. You sit there in total silence, unable to form any words.

“For such a vulgar sign, you're not saying as much as I thought.” He continues running the towel through his hair, before draping over the back of his chair.

“I just don’t know what else to say, I mean I really don’t understand how this is happening right now. Why did you ask for me? If you were offended by the sign I’m really sorry I didn’t mean to…” You fiddle with the rings that adorned your fingers.

“Calm down. I didn’t bring you back because of the sign, well it was but not because it offended me. You’re a gorgeous girl and I wanted to talk to you.” He takes a seat beside you on the couch, his knee grazing yours. “What’s your name, beautiful?” He looks at you awaiting an answer.

“Y/n.” You say, in your small, shaky voice.

“Pretty name for such a pretty girl, but she’s just so shy.” He reaches a hand to your face and tucks your hair behind your ear. “Tell me more about yourself so I can hear that beautiful voice of yours. Where are you from?”

“I’m from Philly. But I have family out here so I came up to see them and go to the concert, which was amazing by the way.”

“I’m so happy you enjoyed the show, this was the best one so far on this leg of the tour.” He gives you a warm smile and you just simply smile back at him. A couple moments of silence pass before Danny speaks again. “Y/n, what do I have to do to help you loosen up? Let your guard down for me babydoll.” He runs his finger lightly over your cheek. He leans over to whisper in your ear, “I’ll make sure you are calm and ready for later, you want a few drinks?”

A shiver travels down your spine as you gulp, “Um what do you mean later?”

“Oh gorgeous, you can’t just be as sexy as you are with a sign like that and not expect me to see it. Don’t play dumb, you know exactly what I mean. Unless that sign was a joke, was it a joke darling?”

“Um… no.” Your gaze travels down to your hands resting in your lap, shaking your head. “It was not a joke.”

“Look me in the eyes when you talk to me.” He grabs a hold of your face and turns your head to look at him right in his beautiful brown eyes. “Say it again.”

“I-I wasn't joking.”

“And what weren’t you joking about?” He looks at you expectantly, and you are loving this little game he is playing with you.

“My sign..” You whisper.

“Your sign that says what?” He just wants to hear the filthy words come out of your innocent mouth.

“Wanting to bang the hot drummer.”

“And who’s that hot drummer baby? Look me in the eye when you tell me.”

“You, Danny. You’re the fucking hot drummer.” You look him dead in the eye and just know he wants his ego stroked just like he wants his cock.

“Yeahhh, it sounds so good to hear it come out of that pretty mouth of yours.” You see his eyes travel down your face and to your lips. “Bet you want to say so much filthy stuff but you’re too scared to, yeah?”

“Danny…” Sure you’ve pictured him saying all these types of things to you, but when he’s right in front of you… actually saying them. You squeeze your thighs together to help relieve yourself even if in the tiniest way possible.

“What darling, tell me what you think about. All your dirty little thoughts. You have me right here in front of you, I won’t judge, just make them come to life.”

“You really want to know?” You tease him back with a raise of your eyebrow.

“Fuck, yeah I want to know.” Danny lets go of his grip on your jaw, and you give him a mischievous smile. You figure there is no point in hiding anymore, you want to give him what you know he wants.

You lean your head down to whisper softly in his ear, “I want you to fuck me like the little slut I am for you.”

“For me?” His jaw hangs slack as he pretends to be scandalized, a hand dramatically clutched over his chest. “Wanna make that happen darling?” He whispers to you.

No way this is happening, it must be a joke. Your eyes widen at his words, waiting for him to tell you he was just trying to get a rise out of you, but he never did. His eyes only grew darker, filled with lust and a need for something. And that something was you.

“If you’re just trying to fuck with me I’ll leave now.” You start to make your way off the couch, when you feel his hand pull you by your arm back down.

“Why would I be trying to mess with you dear, you see anyone else back here?” He asks sincerely, rubbing your hand softly.

“Then why me, there were 15,000 other girls out there. You're telling me you chose me for a reason and not just to bring me back here, get me flustered and tell me to leave.”

“I mean normally if I bring a girl back it’s a chat maybe a blow job and they leave. But come on darling you're gorgeous, and a gorgeous girl with a sign like that is just begging to be brought back here. If I’m wrong you can leave, but I think after what you told me you’d rather be back here.”

Your breathing starts to calm down. You still don’t understand how and why you're back here.

“You want me to be honest y/n.” You look up to him, not knowing what he could possibly say. “I’ve seen you before. At the philly show a few months ago, and a concert from last year. I’ve seen you many times and was too scared to bring you back. But after tonight seeing your sign it made something go off in my head and I needed to talk to you.”

There’s no way he’s confessing this to you. This is something straight out of a dream you’ve probably had before. You’re trying to wrap your head around it but you can’t. “Danny I don’t get it though.”

“What is there not to get. You're a perfect girl who loves my band. Why wouldn’t I notice you? I would be fucking insane if I didn’t take the opportunity that was presented to me. I know you want it too, darling.”

“So what’s gonna happen now?” You stupidly ask him, not knowing how to continue the conversation.

“I’m gonna take you back to my hotel room and fuck the shit out of you.”

“I- okay um do you want me to wait for you to be done and leave with you or..”

“Darling, as much as I’d like for that to happen, if anyone sees me leaving with some random girl from the concert tonight it would be everywhere. What you're gonna do is wait outside and in 10 minutes a car will pick you up. They’ll bring you to my hotel room and give you a room card. Can you do that for me babydoll?”

You nod your head frantically and Danny reciprocates that with a mischievous smirk. He knows the effect he has on you, but you don’t care. You’re about to fuck Daniel Wagner, nothing could stop you now. You stand up grabbing your poster and bag and make your way to the door. Right as you go to grab the door you're twirled around to face him.

“I’ll see you soon y/n.” Placing a kiss onto your cheek.

“See you Danny.” You can’t help the smile that spreads across your face. You turn back towards the door and open it to walk through.

Excitement and thrill was pulsing through your veins as you walked outside the arena, and waited for the car just as Danny had said.

After about 13 minutes, not that you were counting, a black SUV pulls up right in front of you. You weren’t one to get into random cars, but with the circumstances at play you were going to do anything.

“Y/n?” The driver asks through the open window.

“That is me!” You smile at him, waiting for him to grant you permission to hop inside.

“Hop on in, I’ve got the room key for you.” He holds it up in front of him.

You grasp onto the car handle of the passenger's seat, opening it and sliding in. You try your absolute best to wait the 7 minutes it takes to get to the hotel.

—

Once you arrive, you thank the mystery driver and make your way up the elevator. You assume that he is there waiting for you already. You swipe the card on the door and twist the handle, walking inside.

It's a nice hotel. A very nice hotel, might you add. Definitely not what you were used to that's for sure. As you step across the marble flooring you spot a little note on top of the wooden dresser.

Hey darling,

I am back. I just needed to run to Sam’s room to grab something. Hop in the shower awhile, I’ll be there to join you in a minute.

Nothing sounds more appealing than a shower right now. You stare at the note, deciding you should obey him.

You drop your purse and sign on the table and make your way to the bathroom. When walking in you take a moment to admire the large shower with a rain shower faucet. You slip off your shoes and concert outfit and turn on the shower. The hot water rains down onto you and you lean your head back, letting the water soak you and your hair. You use some of the hotel shampoo and wash your hair liberally after the hot atmosphere you were in.

You take a look around for body wash and can only find a bottle that was not provided by the hotel. A large bottle of body wash scented in musky vanilla. It must be Danny’s. You had no other choice but to use it since there was nothing else available. In the midst of your washing you hear the hotel door open and shut quickly.

After a few moments, you hear the bathroom door creak open.

You can’t see him yet, but you can hear his voice. “Hi beautiful.” When the glass door opens you see that he is only in his blue gingham boxers. You must have stared for a moment too long because your attention is brought back to reality when he starts to pull them down to the floor.

He steps inside of the shower, completely bare. You don’t realize your jaw is hanging open in awe until Danny says, “Pick that jaw up darling, there's so much more you have yet to see.”

He stops in his tracks right in front of you staring up and down your body, taking you all in. He gives you a questioning look, silently asking if he was allowed to touch.

“God, Danny. Please, just fucking touch me already.” You practically beg, and maybe you sound desperate but you didn’t have a single fuck to give.

“So hungry for me baby, just you wait till after.” He grabs the bottle of body wash and squeezes some onto a new wash cloth. “Can I wash you darling?” He asks, leaning down towards you to kiss your neck. “Even though I can tell you already did, I don’t mind. You smell delicious, it makes me wanna take you right here.”

“Then do it, take me right here.”

“So goddamn desperate baby. Wait a little, we will get there, I promise.” Danny drags the washcloth over your collar bones and arms. He turns you to face the shower wall. You hear the wash cloth be thrown out the door and two hands are replaced on your body. His hands drag over your hips and around to the front of your stomach. The anticipation was killing you. His large hands are brought up to your chest as he cups your tits giving them a light squeeze. He pulls you back and presses you against his stomach.

“Fuck Danny.” You feel his dick press against your ass as he grows harder.

“I know darling, tell me about it. What’s going on in that pretty head of yours.” He whispers into your ear, squeezing your tits harder making you wince.

“I’m thinking about how bad I want you to fucking touch me!” You snap at him.

“Little Miss shy girl isn’t so shy now, is she? She's getting very mouthy with me.” His voice is low and pierces right through you and your core.

“Danny…” you whine out, aching for more.

“I am touching you babydoll. No need to whine like a pathetic little baby.” He chastises you, still with a firm grip on your chest.

“You know exactly what I want Daniel, and you’re not fucking giving it to me. Just give it to me, God.” You push your ass back onto him harder, forcing a groan out of him.

You take his moment of weakness to turn around and plant a feverish kiss to his soft, pink lips. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in so your fronts are pressed together. His hands rest on your hips, slowly slithering them around to rest them on your ass.

He pulls away from the kiss making his way to turn the water off, very quickly. He guides your hips as you step out of the shower together. You reach for a towel when suddenly you’re scooped up draping over his shoulder. He walks out of the bathroom over to the king sized bed.

He throws down onto the bed, as you're still dripping wet.

“Danny, I’m still we-”

“I thought you wanted me to touch you so bad?”

“I do…” You say as your confidence is faltering.

“And I’m about to grant you your wish darling, just relax for me yeah?” Immediately after he is done speaking his fingers are gliding through your slick folds, teasing around your entrance.

You let out a gasp when you feel him make contact with your cunt. He moves his fingers up to your clit making quick, tight circles on it.

“Is this what you do to all the girls you bring back Danny? Tell them to get in the shower, sprawl them out on the bed and fuck them, then tell them to leave. You made me feel special Danny, or am I just like every other groupie?” You say in a testing tone, staring up to him.

“Oh babydoll, you’re just like them. Same driver, same card left out, same routine. But you yourself you're special. You drove me crazy seeing you in the crowd. Show me why you should be treated differently y/n. What makes you so special?” Swiftly inserting a digit into your soaked pussy.

“You say that to make me feel like I’m the same, but I know damn well if I was just some other girl you wouldn’t have made it as secretive. Because those girls are disposable to you, you fuck them and go not caring who knows about the girls. So why am I being kept a secret? What makes me so different Danny, tell me.” You reach down to his stomach, feeling his happy trail on the way down. You firmly grasp his cock and slowly stroke it.

“Fuck.” His head falls forward and his free hand that wasn’t inside of you, reaches out to roll your nipple between his knuckles.

“You like that?” You taunt him, trying you best to gain your dominance back.

“I do. But you know what would be so much better?”

You peel your eyes open awaiting his response.

“Have my cock in that smart ass mouth of yours. Finally put it to use other than just being mouthy.” With that Danny grabs your hair and motions you to the ground. “So show me y/n, show me what makes you as special as you think you are.”

You immediately accept his challenge, guiding his dick into your mouth. You wrap your plump, kiss-swollen lips around his length and begin to bob your head up and down. You stroke what you can’t fit in your mouth with your hand, your other hand reaching around to grab at his ass pulling him closer to you. You hear an animalistic groan release from the depths of his throat.

You release his length from your mouth and let it slap against his stomach. You cup his balls with your hands and slowly lick them and trail back up the shaft, pressing a kiss into the tip. You go directly back to sucking him, taking as much of him as you can, and you can feel his body start to shake above.

“Darling, slow down. I- I won’t last if you keep going like that. Fuck.” His hands grasp onto your wet hair, throwing his own head back in pleasure.

You take him out of your mouth and pump him with your hands. “Is this how you react to all the other girls, can you not last long with anyone Danny? You just fuck them until you’ve had your fill and leave them hanging?”

“No, not at all angel. I always make sure my girls are satisfied. But you are getting so much more than that, you know why?” He looks down to you with his perfect brown eyes.

“Why?” Kissing his dick while waiting for a response.

“Because you're different. I wouldn’t have brought you here if I didn’t want to. Usually I take the girls that throw themselves at me. I noticed you, I wanted you. Now I finally have you, so I’m going to show you why I brought you here tonight.”

He pulls you up by your hair again, placing his large hand between the valley of your breasts, pushing you back down onto the bed. He leans back, taking a look at your soaking core. “So wet baby, I barely did anything. You like me telling you you’re special?” He swiftly slaps your wet pussy, on instinct your body tenses up and you bring your legs back together. “Yeah, my special babydoll likes that, don't you? You like being praised. Spread those perfect thighs for me again.” He gently pries open your thighs, once again revealing your wet cunt to the chilly hotel air.

He reaches to the drawer next to the bed and pulls out a familiar square foil.

“Danny you don’t need to use it, I’m on birth control. If I’m fucking you I wanna feel all of you.” He grins and throws the foil back into the drawer.

“What a slutty girl. You want me filling you up with my cum? Or are you lying and not on the pill, you trying to have my babies, darling? You probably love the idea of that don’t you?”

“I’m not a crazy chick Danny, although having your babies has crossed my mind before.” You give him a playful wink before pulling him into a kiss. Your moment of bliss was soon interrupted by his cock being shoved deep into your pussy.

“Oh fuck Danny. You’re so fucking big.” Your back aches away from the white sheets beneath you and hands clawing onto his back.

“God you’re so wet for me baby. Did sucking me off get you soaked? You did such a good job, almost made me cum before you started to smart mouth me.” His right hand grabs your jaw and opens your mouth. Having any time to react he spits straight into your mouth, closing it right after and sealing it with a kiss. “Now keep that mouth shout, unless it’s those pretty little moans coming out.”

His hands return to the sides of your head as he begins to slowly work up the pace of his thrusts. He was hitting all the spots perfectly. He was made for you.

“Danny oh my god, don’t stop please. You feel so good.” You moan out before biting onto his shoulder.

“Oh fuck y/n. You’re gonna be the end of me. You feel so fucking good around my cock darling.” His thrust became hard and more precise. He is quickly learning what little spots on your body make you lose it. He grabs onto your tits for leverage as his cock pistons in and out of you. “Tightest little pussy I’ve ever fucked, babydoll.”

“You have the most perfect tits I’ve ever seen darling. I saw you in that little slutty top of yours tonight. You were probably hoping I would see them pouring out, huh?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Danny.” You try your best to keep your voice steady. But you knew exactly what he was talking about. You kept checking throughout the show making sure your tits were scooped up enough, hoping he would see.

He saw right through your lie. A sudden slap was struck across your cheek. “Tell me the truth y/n.”

“Why were you even looking? For all you knew I could have been 17 or something.” He looks at you with a knowing look. “Or did you know how old I was Danny?” He looks away with a guilty look on his face. “Did you find my insta?”

“Why would I look at your insta, I didn’t even know your name.”

“That’s what you say. You wanna start telling the truth Danny? You made it very clear earlier that you had seen me before. So start spilling.”

“No thanks, but I’ll spill my cum into your pretty pussy y/n if you shut up and let me fuck you.” He begins to sink back into you but you quickly stop him needing to know the truth.

“No, tell me now. I want to know Danny.”

After a moment of staring each other down waiting for the other to speak Danny breaks the silence. “Yeah I found your insta so what. Doesn’t change the fact that you had your tits out for me tonight does it?” “It doesn’t. I’m sure you didn’t mind though, did you?” You let your fingers travel into his hair, feeling all his wet curls.

“I didn’t mind one bit. But I wanna see them better, babydoll.” He quickly wraps a hand around your back and flips you on top of him, now straddling his cock. “Get to riding baby, unless you don’t wanna get filled up.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” You sink down onto his dick, starting to slowly move up and down on his length. Your tits start to bounce right in his face, before he leans forward and connects his mouth to your hardened nipple. He lays back down and grabs your hips, and begins to bounce you harder and fast down onto his cock.

Being filled was an understatement. You felt like he was overflowing your cunt. You always assumed he would be big but this was something else. The noises escaping your mouth was something you wouldn’t wish anyone to ever hear, but based on Danny’s facials he was loving every minute of it.

“God damn y/n, you sound so fucking pretty for me.” His hands grip tightly on your hips, beginning to thrust his own hips up to meet yours. “You want it harder babydoll, I think you can take it.”

“Yes harder Danny please I need more.” You whine to him, grabbing onto his shoulders for leverage.

“Fuck, look at you. You’re such a whore begging for my cock. You do that for all the other guys you're with or is mine just too much to handle?”

“Just-” He gives a particular powerful thrust knocking the air from your lungs, “-you. Just you, Danny. So big…” Your head falls back in pure ecstasy.

“Aw I know baby, tell me about it.” He says in a whiny voice that makes you feel some sort of way. “Your taking my cock so well, such a good fucking girl.” As the hard thrust continues your hands make their way from his shoulders to his throat.

His eyes widen at your movements and quickly shut after your fingers tighten around his neck.

“Fuck y/n. Such a kinky girl. If I would have known you would be tied down to this bed right now.” His eyes are so dark now they almost look black.

“Not too late for that Danny.” You say squeezing his throat with your hand a little tighter while simultaneously clenching around his cock.

“Mmmm, tighter.” He whines out. You have no choice but to give him what he wants as you tighten your grip even more. You really take a moment to take in the situation at hand and soon enough…

“Danny, I’m so close.” You speed up your movements on his dick, searching for your release.

“Me too, darling, me too. Just keep going so I can fill you up with my cum. I wanna see it leaking out of you.”

That was enough to push you over the edge. With a few more bounces you were reaching your climax, screaming Danny’s name for the whole hotel to hear. A few short moments later, his climax follows. Curses and pornographic moans are flying freely, if anyone walks by the door they would know exactly what was taking place.

He leans you back onto the bed, once again hovering on top of you. His hands trail down your body, all the way to your pussy. Two fingers quickly shove into you with no warning.

“I told you I was gonna fill you up, but it looks like this tiny little pussy of yours can’t handle it all. I’ll help it back in for you, does that sound good?” He curls his index finger up into your g-spot, giving him the response he wanted.

With a few more pumps he retracts his fingers from your soaked pussy and brings it up to your mouth. “Open.” Opening your mouth for him he pushes his finger deep into your throat. You close your mouth around the finger, letting him pull it out with a pop

“You taste so good Danny, makes me want more.” You reach your own hand down to your core, swiping a digit in between your folds, and licking up whatever cum you collected.

“Fucking hell y/n. You’ve gotta be the hottest girl I've ever met.” You’re both still trying to catch your breath, your chests both heaving.

Danny rolls over and collapses by your side, he turns his head to look over at you. “ I have a fun little idea, if you’re down of course.”

Your eyebrow quirks up at him, interest piqued. “What did you have in mind?”

“There's a sauna downstairs, I’d love for you to join me.” He gives you a soft smile.

“Are you just trying to be nice or do you actually want me to join you?”

“I wouldn’t be asking you if I was just trying to be nice. I would have just sent you home with an uber.” He reaches an arm around your waist pulling you into him. “Plus I really have liked our night so far darling. I don’t want it to end just yet.”

“Well in that case, I’d love to join you.” You smile back at him.

He takes a moment, studying your features. “You’re so beautiful Y/n, even have the most gorgeous smile. I could see it from all the way where I was sitting on stage.” He sits up off the bed and lends you a hand to get up.

“I don’t know what to wear though, I don’t have a bathing suit.” You accept his hand, allowing him to pull you up.

“Just put your bra and panties back on and walk down in a towel.” He reaches into the bathroom and puts a towel on the bed. You put on your strapless bra back on and slip into your thong. You watch as he covers his lower half with the fluffy, white towel.

You reach for yours on the bed wrapping it tightly around your torso. You both quietly walk together to the sauna.

Once you arrive, you walk into the humid and steam-filled room. Thankfully the sauna was empty, you didn’t want anyone seeing you in just your tiny thong.

You sit down on the wooden benches, Danny sitting right beside you. You let your muscles relax and let your eyes close on their own accord. As you lean against the wall behind you, you feel a large hand grab onto your thigh.

“You look so fucking sexy. You should take another layer off darling, the door is locked.” Danny reaches a hand behind you, swiftly unclasping your bra off your chest. You can’t help but let your jaw drop with how fast he was able to undress you. “Better pick that jaw off the floor darling, or else I’m gonna have to use it for something else.”

Your legs squeeze together hoping to get some type of friction. Your core was already soaking your panties that you only had on momentarily. Danny stares you down, waiting to see what your next move would be, but you couldn’t be the one to break.

“Fuck it.” Danny grabs your neck and pushes you down onto the wooden bench. He doesn’t even bother to pull your panties off of you. Instead he pulls them to the side giving him a view of your already wet pussy. He drops his towel and leaves no time to line himself up with your cunt. He slides into you, making you moan in satisfaction.

“Shit Danny, that's right, fill me up. You’re so big.” A devious smirk washes over his face, before grabbing your ankles and placing them on his shoulders. The new angle allows him to get even deeper than you thought possible. You feel his tip brush against your cervix.

“Oh, God. Right.”He thrusts into you. “Fucking.” Another thrust. “There.” You were quickly crumpling beneath him.

“Who’s making you feel good baby, tell me.”

“You.” You whimper under your breath.

“Say my name fuckdoll, who’s making you feel good?” He slaps his hand on your outer thigh.

“Fuck Danny you, you make me feel so fucking good. You fill me up so good oh fuck-” Your words were feeding him, and his pace was becoming sloppy. You knew he was nearing his end. “Yeah, cum in me Danny, fill me up with your cum. Need to feel it again” Your pussy clenches around him, making his hands clutch around your ankles harder.

After a few more thrusts, loud sinful moans fill the hot room. Your waves of pleasure shortly followed Danny after he unloaded in your pussy.

Once you come back down from your highs, you just simply look at each other without even saying a word, both rendered speechless.

“God y/n. How am I gonna move on from this night?” He says through heavy breaths, taking your ankles off his shoulders.

“How are you going to move on? I’m the one that should be asking that.”

“Like I said before, I’ve had my eyes on you y/n.” Danny grabs your towel and bra, placing them back around you. “Let’s go back up to the room.” He lends you a hand off the bench and leads you quickly back to the room in hopes no one would see your barely clothed bodies.

After returning to the room you begin to grab your outfit from the concert and cloth yourself, preparing to get an uber and leave.

“Why would you wear that to bed?” He says to you as he begins putting on sweatpants.

“Well I’ll change when I get home.” Danny gives you a confused look, which makes you realize what he is implying. “Oh- did you want me to stay? I assumed you just brought me back up to get my shit and leave. I was gonna get an uber.”

“I’d like for you to stay y/n. Unless you have somewhere else you need to be.” He says beginning to walk over to you.

“I mean I was supposed to be home tomorrow but home can wait.” You place your bag back onto the table and stand in front of him.

“And don’t think you’re going to be leaving without me getting your number first.” He scolds you with a pointed finger and raises his eyebrows. “Come join me in bed now, babydoll. I’ll get you something to wear, but first…” Danny walks over to his bag, grabbing a sharpie and uncapping it.

He brings the sharpie to your poster, checking off the last unmarked box. “Now all of your list is complete.” He walks over to one of the drawers and reaches out a GVF shirt and boxers. “You can wear these if you want, and keep them.” Danny crawls into bed, and you quickly follow him after changing into the large shirt and boxers.

You crawl into bed, not understanding how this was all real.

“Hey Danny.”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks for tonight, I would argue it was better than the concert.”

“I would say that too babydoll.” He wraps his large arms around you pulling you in tight. “Good night, angel.”

“Good night, Danny.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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atlantis-is-burning · 2 months ago

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Dead Boy Detectives Cancelation

So in light of the heartbreaking news of Dead Boy Detectives getting canceled, I decided to write a letter to @netflix It's the first time I've ever felt compelled to reach out to a major company regarding their services but I wanted them to know how much the show means to us as fans and what they're taking away from us by canceling it.

For me, the show was a literal life-saver. Without going into too much detail, I was in a very dark place prior to its release and it was the only thing that helped me through it. That and meeting all of you =)

I don't know what impact it will have, if any, but if you would like to write a letter to Netflix as well letting them know what the show meant to you, I would definitely do so. Our community may be small compared to other fandoms but we are passionate and devoted to this show and they deserve to hear from us.

I've attached the letter below the cut for anyone who would like to read it and believe me, I'm not trying to medal in the tragedy Olympics with the intro, it's just a fact of what happened.

Maybe the show helped you in ways you couldn't imagine. Maybe it made you feel better about yourself or something that occurred in the past. Maybe it was just a fun comfort show for you that you really enjoyed. Whatever the reason, this show brought out the best in people and made the world feel just a little bit kinder for a while and I will never forgive Netflix for taking that away.

To whom it may concern,

On April 29th, I sat down and watched the first episode of the Dead Boy Detectives.

I had heard good things about the show since its release a few days earlier, that it was fun and campy and easy to watch, but for me I was hoping it would be a distraction. A very close friend of mine passed away without warning on December 30th; she was just there one day and gone the next. The first half of the year was spent helping her family get her affairs in order while trying to process our shared grief and figure out how we could move on without her.

I didn’t begin to feel like myself again until late March and by then it was only a fraction of who I had been before her passing. So when I sat down and pulled up the first episode of the Dead Boy Detectives, the only goal I had in mind was to pass a few hours watching a silly supernatural mystery show and think about something other than this sense of loss and imbalance that had settled over me.

It was the first time I smiled in nearly three weeks and it was the first time I laughed since December.

I watched the entire series, start to finish, in one night. Then I went back and watched it again the next day. And again a few days later. And for the first time since her passing, I felt like my friend was still there somehow, like we were watching it together. It was exactly the kind of show she would have loved when she was alive, flamboyant and silly with a touch of romance and mystery, so on my fourth rewatch of it, I sat on my couch with a picture of the two of us cradled in my lap, watching a show I know she would have enjoyed and feeling just the tiniest bit of my grief fade.

It was through the Dead Boy Detectives that I found a community online, a group of people who loved the show just as much as I did. We traded theories and ideas about the episodes, we excitedly welcomed new members who had just finished it and encouraged others to watch it in the meantime. We set up forums and threads on Reddit, we messaged each other, we embraced this silly, quirky show so much that it became a safe haven for a lot of us, it became a comfort series. We saw ourselves in this show and these characters and for many of us it gave us a sense of fellowship and belonging in a world where that feels more rare by the day.

And then it got canceled and for many of us, it felt like a slap in the face for the fans.

While I don’t claim to know the metrics on which a show’s success and renewal odds are based or what formula is used to determine ratings, I do know you didn’t see the fandom we created for ourselves because of this show.

There are artists who make the most breathtaking art pieces you’ve ever seen, writers who bring you to tears with their works, and creators who painstakingly and lovingly created playlists and mood boards for each of the characters, matching them with songs and snippets of poetry that fit so perfectly it felt like it was made for them. There are fans who cosplay so well it looks like they borrowed the costumes directly from the production team and some who make jewelry and charms and trinkets that sell out almost before they complete them.

We engaged with the stars as well, wanting them to know how much we loved the show and these characters and how grateful we were to have watched them. We set up Q&As and asked them questions through Cameo, all the while thanking them for their work in bringing these characters to life. This show meant so much to us and we wanted them to know just what an impact they had had on more people than they ever could have imagined.

We were well aware of Netflix’s reputation of canceling shows based on poor viewership so we went in and organized weekly watch parties in an effort to increase the number of new viewers. We promoted it on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram, creators made videos for it on TikTok, and we created an entirely new tag on social media to bring more attention to this show we all loved so much.

Early on, there were several comments from people who said they were hesitant to even watch it; they had been burned before and didn’t want to get deeply involved with a new show that would turn into yet another “one season wonder.” We did our best to reassure them and convince them that this time it would be different; it wouldn’t be like all the shows that had been cut down before it could ever really develop. Since it was tied in with DC and The Sandman Universe, we promised them that maybe this time we could save it, maybe this time it would be enough.

And it was still canceled.

On Friday, August 30th, ten minutes after the news broke that Dead Boy Detectives had been canceled, I canceled my Netflix subscription. Netflix was the first streaming service I ever signed up for and today it is the only streaming service I have ever canceled. And, after watching the fallout in our little online community, watching the actual grief people were experiencing because of the cancellation, and scrolling through pages upon pages of outraged fans who swore they would never watch another program on Netflix and vowed to cancel their subscription that day, I can see that my decision was justified.

You have no idea the impact this show had on its viewers and you have no idea the impact you had when you took it away. We had people admit that the show helped them come to terms with their sexuality, helped them process deep-seated trauma, helped them love and accept themselves for who they were. We knew the Dead Boy Detectives would never be a runaway hit like Stranger Things or Bridgerton but we hoped and prayed that it would stick around just a little while longer, that we could enjoy these characters and their stories for even one more season before they were gone for good.

For you it may have been just a silly little ghost show that was little more than a blip on the radar but for a lot of us it was so much more than that, it meant so much more than that.

I am under no illusions that this email will make a difference or that it will bring the show back from cancellation but I wanted you to know what an incredible and amazingly talented fandom you are leaving behind in its wake. These are people who put their heart and soul into the art they create and the words they put on paper and all we wanted was a chance to see that continue.

We are tired of being drawn into a program and falling in love with the characters with no guarantee that our viewership and involvement actually means anything. We are tired of begging for complex characters and the representation we crave in media only to have the rug jerked out from under us once we finally get it. We are tired of hoping and praying and campaigning to save a show that should easily be renewed for several seasons or, at the very least, a season two.

We are tired of feeling like we’re being taken advantage of as fans, that the passion and excitement we have toward these shows and their stars, the kind of involvement you claim to want, is dismissed with little regard toward the fans of the show itself.

We are your audience and we are tired.

We will continue to love and cherish this show and these characters, without your involvement, and give them a much longer life than they ever had on your platform. This show, the cast and crew, and the fans deserve better than what you gave them and I hope you understand the tremendous amount of talent and passion you’re throwing away in your fan base.

With regards,

-M

#dead boy detectives #dead boy detectives season 2 #renew dead boy detectives #save dead boy detectives #edwin payne #charles rowland #crystal palace #niko sasaki

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arataka-reigen · 1 year ago

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Fall Anime Lineup Review by yours truly 🙋‍♀️🍄🌻

This season, I decided to watch as many anime as I could just for funsies :^) in total, I have started 19 shows, and I will be reviewing most of them here to help you decide whether to give any of them a go or not.

(This review will include exclusively animes that debuted this fall, so no second seasons or continuing shows from the summer season)

I will be classifying these anime in three categories: "definitely worth the watch," "anime i've dropped," and "not a masterpiece, but check it out if you like the premise"

Reminder that this is my personal list, and as such it 100% reflects my personal tastes (like my preference for female main characters and yuri shows)

So I might give 5 stars to shows other people would find bad, and that's okay! I invite others to make their own lists as well <3 (insert lets take ibuprofen together meme here)

(Last thing: i've added cw for only a few shows, and this is by no means an extensive list of all possible triggers for any of these shows, so watch at your own risk and if you want more info you can always ask or dm me)

Without further ado, let's get on to it (under read more because im not a jerk to make you scroll past All That)

Definitely worth the watch / Top 5 Shows of the Season

The Apothecary Diaries

Summary: Drama, Historical, Medical, Mystery. An apothecary gets kidnapped and forced to work in the emperor's palace as a low-level servant. She is determined to quietly work until her years of servitude are over, but when the emperor's infants fall ill, Maomao uses her medical abilities to solve the mystery of their illnesses and accidentally attracts attention to herself, being brought to work in the inner palace instead.

Rating: ★★★★★

Review: This show is incredibly well animated and voice acted. The characters are brilliant and the stories are beautifully touching. It appears to be slightly episodic so far, with Maomao having to solve a new mystery or save someone's life every episode, but there is still a sense of a continuous story being told and I can't wait to see where it goes.

The strongest part of this show is definitely the MC. Maomao is incredibly competent, self-assured, and a no-nonsense person, but she is also completely obsessed with drugs and poisons, going so far as to test them out on her own skin and become completely giddy when she is presented with the opportunity to work with drugs in the inner palace.

Another great quality is the sorority between women, Maomao was raised in the red light district, and the courtesans there taught her a lot about life, which Maomao applies to her everyday life.

If you only have time to watch one anime this season, this is the one I'd tell you to watch.

CW: self-harm, child death, kidnapping, classism.

Edit to add one more cw: pedophilia (it is treated as a bad thing and not endorsed, but it caught me by surprise while i read the manga so i thought to warn this is an upcoming topic that will probably appear on ep 6)

Sousou no Frieren

Summary: Adventure, Drama, Fantasy. What happens when you are a 1000 year old elf who has to live on after your friends' death? For 10 years, Frieren and her companions fought against the demon king, disbanding after he was defeated. The story accompanies Frieren after Himmel, the Hero, dies, and she has to come to terms with the fact that the short 10 years she spent with him have made a big change in her life.

Rating: ★★★★★

Review: Much like The Apothecary Diaries, Frieren's tale is not full of battles and fast paced episodes, actually it is slightly episodic, accompanying Frieren as she goes around collecting spells (that's her hobby) and traveling around the land through all the places she went with her party back in the day, seeing their statues and getting to experience new things while trying to figure out what those 10 years of adventuring meant to her.

This is MadHouse we are talking about, so of course, the animation is one of the strongest attributes. Sound design is also very good, you get to feel the quiet moments and appreciate them. The ending song is so good.

Also like Apothecary, Frieren's greatest qualities are the characters, especially the MC and the feelings they have to face.

Tumblr loves characters haunting the narrative right?? You guys are gonna love Himmel, the Hero istg

CW: death, grief, mild violence.

My New Boss is Goofy

Summary: Iyashikei, Workplace, Comedy. Momose used to be harrassed by his last boss so he decided to quit his job and joing a different company. Momose's new boss, Shirosaki, is an airhead and being in his presence is a fun and healing time for Momose

Rating: ★★★★★

Review: SALARYMEN YAOI. This show will heal your soul. The animation is simple but pretty, the cute effects like the ones on the gif above really help set the mood of a cute show. You've heard of cute girls doing cute things on anime, now get ready for cute salarymen doing cute things such as adopting a cat and naming it their shipname, riding the merry go round together, etc.

Also, may I offer you a canon bi/pan male character who is not embarrassed to come out?

Btw this is iyashikei, so nothing really happens, that's the whole premise of this genre. No drama, only healing. Idek if there is anything i could put as content warning. CW: cuteness overload.

I'm in Love with the Villainess

Summary: Isekai, Fantasy, Comedy, Girls Love. Rei wakes up in the body of the hero of her favorite otome game. Her favorite character in that game happened to be the villain, though, so now she is determined to dedicate herself to pursuing the villainess.

Rating: ★★★★★

Review: I debated a lot whether or not to include this on my top 5, but the incredibly deep and honest discussion about sexuality on ep 4 definitely swayed my decision in its favor. The animation is nothing special tbh and at times can feel very static, but the character design is good enough for me.

This anime is like if Maria from Hamefura was the one who got isekaid and then fell in love with OG Katarina, so... yeah, of course I love it.

It seems that this anime will go in some interesting and unexpected directions as well in the future so I consider this is a must watch of the season.

CW: classism, discussions of homophobia, mc can come off as a bit of a stalker,

To complete my top 5:

I'm Giving the Disgraced Noble Lady I Rescued a Crash Course in Naughtiness

Summary: Romance, Comedy, Fantasy. Despite being innocent, Charlotte is accused of evil deeds, has her engagement annulled, and is forced to flee her country. While crossing the forest, running away from royal guards, she collapses near the residence of one man known as "The Demon Lord"

When he hears her story, said Demon Lord decides to let her live with him and teach her all about the naughty things in life (such as splurging on clothes, eating dessert instead of dinner, and playing games all night long).

Rating: ★★★★★

Review: EXTREMELY WHOLESOME. You'll be cheering for these two to get together in no time at all.

It's kinda like My Happy Marriage, but with less drama lol the female lead was raised as a servant in her own home, much like Miyo, and then gets rescued by a male lead who wants her to learn how to assert herself and live for herself, pursuing her dreams and valuing her own life.

Not a single moment with the male lead so far has been anything but incredibly wholesome and funny, Allen is genuinely a good person who wants Charlotte to heal for her own sake. He gets incredibly happy when she hides a secret from him because it means she is becoming her own person.

So far, this anime hasn't had a single problematic trope this type of romance anime usually has, and i don't think it will. What it does have are fun tropes like: "and there was only one bed", side characters hardcore shipping the MCs, male lead who is genuinely a good person but laughs and talks like a villain, etc.

ALSO, this series has not one but TWO catgirls <3

I could genuinely talk about all five of these animes for hours, but I still have lots of others to review. Hit me up if you want to talk abt any of them, though, i'm gonna be super happy.

Honorable Mention:

Spy X Family Season 2

Rating: ★★★★★

Anime I've dropped or will probably drop soon

The Vexations of a Shut-in Vampire Princess

Summary: Comedy, Fantasy, Vampire. Komari is a shut-in vampire who is weaker than most vampires because she refuses to drink blood. One day, she wakes up to the news that she was appointed as commander of a unit of the imperial army and must now do her best to win wars and survive while all the vampires under her command fight for her position

Rating: ★½ (a full star is too much, so I'll give it half a star)

Review: This one is bad, fam. The reason I found why it is so bad can be summarized in a 3 words: the male gaze.

Komari is filled to the brim with yuri bait, with every female character being into the MC, but all of it is 100% targeted to male audiences. This show is NOT classified as shoujo ai, so i wouldn't get my hopes up and ultimately dropped it after only the first episode.

If you need one more reason to Not watch this, I'll let you know that in less than 10 minutes of the first episode the MC almost pisses herself because that's a thing they decided to include for no reason at all.

My Daughter Left the Nest and Returned an S-rank Adventurer

Summary: Adventure, Fantasy. After losing his leg as a newbie adventurer, he retires and returns to his hometown, becoming a handyman for the village. One day, while searching the mountains for herbs, he finds a child and raises her.

His grown-up daughter leaves to become an adventurer herself, and after years, she hasn't returned home not even once...

Rating: ★½

Review: Oh, I wanted this one to be good so badly 😭 it was one of the animes I was most looking forward to after reading the premise. Actual dilf character who is in his 40s and not in his 20s? I wanted it to be good. But, alas, it is bad. There is nothing problematic with it at all, the anime is straight up just bad. Bad animation, horrible pacing, terrible exposition, abhorrent setup of the story, not enough moments dedicated to setting up the story and making the characters interesting at all.

I Shall Suvive Using Potions!

Summary: Isekai, Fantasy. The God of Earth accidentally kills Kaoru and, as compensation, offers to lead her to a new life in another world with any power buff she wishes for. She chooses to be able to make potions with any effect of her choice, infinite storage space, and other stuff

Rating: ★

Review: ngl the first half of the first episode was pretty interesting, with Kaoru dying and then bargaining for compensations, but after this it just gets very very very boring. Nothing too bad about this one, it's just not worth anyone's time.

Tearmoon Empire

Summary: Fantasy, Time Travel, Comedy. Following her execution at the guillotine by the hands of the revolutionary army, Mia Luna Tearmoon wakes up to learn she has returned to when she was 12 years old, before the downward spiral and decline of the empire that led to her death. She finds her bloodied future diary, and decides to use it to change events to ensure she doesn't end up at the guillotine once again.

Rating: ★

Review: i honestly still don't know where i stand with this anime. It's got an interesting premise, but the development of the story is not at all interesting. This and the S-rank Daughter anime are under a category of "animes i wish had better writers."

CW: death, torture

The Family Circumstances of the Irregular Witch

Summary: Fantasy, Comedy, Gag Humor. Alyssa, a witch who lives alone in the forest, picks up an abandoned human baby one day. 16 years later, Viola had not only grown into a daughter who adores Alyssa, but also into a woman of exceptional proportions, and the people around them mistook Viola for Alyssa's mother

Rating: ★★

Review: it pains me to drop this one ngl, as it is a very sweet mother & daughter story and I feel like we don't get enough of those. The story can be very wholesome at times, and i've had more than a few good laughs with it. But it's just not interesting enough to keep you watching, and most of the jokes get old pretty fast. I'd recommend watching just the first episode because it is cute and funny enough by itself

Not a masterpiece, but check it out if you like the premise

Hoshizuku Telepath

Summary: Comedy, Girls Love, Supernatural. Fifteen-year-old Umika Konohoshi, with a love for aliens and space, is having a hard time socializing at school, but she hopes her words will someday reach other people. When self-proclaimed alien Yuu Akeuchi enters her life, Umika will learn more about being open.

Rating: ★★★★

Review: Just cute girls doing cute things + this one is actually classified as Shoujo Ai, so i have high hopes for a bit of romance. So far, it's just been very, very cute, wonderful animation, cute characters, cute interactions, cute everything

None of these characters are neurotypical btw.

I highly recommend this one, it almost made my top 5.

16bit Sensation: Another Layer

Summary: Time Travel, Workplace, Comedy, Otaku Culture. Konoha is an illustrator who loves beautiful girls and bishoujo games. She works at a video game studio and dreams of making bishoujo games. However, in the present, where mobile games are all the rage, Konoha spends her days as a sub-illustrator just coloring the back of background characters.

One day, after some happenings, Konoha got her hand on a masterpiece of a bishoujo game, and upon opening the package, she is suddenly taken back in time to the golden age of bishoujo games (the 90s). She joins a company named "Alcoholsoft" in pursuit of her dream of making games.

Rating: ★★★★

Review: Main character loves infodumping about her special interest so much she manages to get herself a time travel deal after infodumping on a random old lady.

This is another anime that almost made my top 5. It has a slow start and the continuity sometimes makes no sense ngl, but the premise is still very interesting. I was used to stories where characters get isekaid into a completely different time and space, but this girl is just sent back 30 years in time so she can witness the boom of her beloved bishoujo games.

The MC can get kind of annoying sometimes, but it isnt too unbearable, I still highly rec it.

Shy

Summary: Action, Super Powers, Drama. As the planet approached its third World War, individuals with superpowers appeared from around the globe to maintain peace. They became the symbols of their respective nations, striving to limit crime and bring evildoers to justice. Teenage heroine Teru "Shy" Momijiyama is Japan's representative in the world of heroes. When a mysterious threat called Amalareiks emerges, Shy must work together with her fellow heroes to stop them at all costs, all while dealing with her own feelings of inadequacy and shyness.

Rating: ★★★★

Review: a lot better than I expected, the myanimelist score does not do it justice istg. This season is full of shy and reserved main characters, but I feel like they get to be a lot more interesting than your usual shy characters. Both Hoshizuku Telepath and Shy deal with their shy characters in interesting ways and I rec both.

I also absolutely adore Iko, who is one of the first people saved by Shy in the anime, but she ends up badly hurt, which sends Shy into a spiral of doubt and fears.

CW: mild violence, death, grief, self hatred and suicidal thoughts

Migi and Dali

Summary: Comedy, Mystery, Suspense. Osamu and Youko want to adopt a child, due to their increasingly old age, they decide they can only take one kid. They decide to adopt Hitori, a gentle and beautiful boy.

However, Hitori's humble and overly polite exterior is merely a facade. In reality, Hitori is a carefully crafted character played by identical twins Migi and Dali. They did all that to be able to infiltrate their childhood town and uncover the mystery of their mother's death.

Rating: ★★★★

Review: This show is batshit insane and absolutely hilarious. These twins mistrust everyone around them and are constantly on edge to maintain the facade of being only one person, the extents they go to keep this up make for hysterical situations and I just couldn't stop laughing while being absolutely horrified by everything that goes on in this. This is a very disturbing anime, though, and the cw for this is gonna make you question whether or not you can trust my opinion, and you know what? I don't know if you should trust me either. But like,,, it really is that fucking funny. It is also just incredibly disturbing and fucked up as well, so watch at your own risk.

CW (this one is very problematic, don't say i didn't warn you): non sexual forced infantilization, non sexual forced pet play, non sexual groping, forced partial nudity, forced eating, minor incest vibes, implied murder, invasion of privacy, surveillance, classism, fursona, bullying, kidnapping and imprisonment. Most of these things happen to a minor, so.. yeah... not great...

If you would like more info on these cws before starting this anime, feel free to send an ask or dm me.

Ron Kamonohashi's Forbidden Deductions

Summary: Mystery, Detective, Comedy. Totomaru wants to solve murders and help people, but lacks the skills for it. Following the advice of one of his seniors, he ventures out to enlist the aid of the reclusive Ron Kamonohashi. Five years ago, Ron was the most promising detective from the illustrious Detective Training Academy Blue; yet for reasons unknown to the public, he sank into obscurity.

The true reason Ron withdrew from the detective world was not from lack of desire, but rather from something out of his control—and Totomaru might just be the key for his return to his former calling.

Rating: ★★★

Review: This is the classic sherlock ripoff that comes around all the time. Not saying it is bad tho, it is quite fun and the dynamic between Toto and Ron is very good. The animation is pretty decent as well. I have only seen one episode so far, but I already like it.

Our Dating Story: The Experienced You and The Inexperienced Me

Summary: Romance, School. As part of a punishment game, Ryuuto is forced to confess to the girl he likes, Runa Shirakawa, a very popular student.

Runa doesn't have a boyfriend at the moment, so she simply agrees to date him.

They have different friends and ways to have fun, and they are different in almost every way. Nonetheless, they begin to relate with each other.

Rating: ★★★

Review: this romance is quite fun and cute, Runa is very carefree about her relationships and isnt embarrassed by things like sex or whatever, she is quite experienced (as the title says), but she has never experienced real love so she just goes around dating in search for it. Ryuuto is very different and gets embarrassed just thinking about holding her hand. He also wants to make her feel appreciated and figure out what her interests are, so he is one of the first dudes to actually treat her like a human being, which, god, it is so real how men take women for granted and this anime shows that by the juxtaposition of Ryuuto being an actual decent person.

Anyways, it doesn't get a higher recommendation from me because the main source of conflict so far in this anime is another female character, who hates the female lead. And that. Uhh. I don't like stories like this. Im a women loving eomen. Im a yuri enjoyer. Im a girl's girl. So, i'd enjoy it more if the antagonist wasnt a girl who hates the female lead. But it is good enough so far to give me hope that this will change in the future.

The Yuzuki Family's Four Sons

Summary: Slice of Life, School. The Yuzuki family, which consists of four brothers, lost their parents two years ago. Hayato, the eldest son, is a hard worker and the pillar of the family. Mikoto, the second son, is calm and collected, but he has a soft spot for his younger brother Minato, the third son, who is energetic and lovable, but clumsy and awkward. Gakuto, the fourth son, is a studious and mature first-grader who is often referred to as a "wise man." The story follows their daily lives.

Rating: ★★★

Review: this is the only actual shoujo of this list. The rest is either shounen or not classified as either. I have only watched one episode so far, so I can't say a lot about it, the first ep was cute and wholesome, as most slice of life is. I say go for it if you want some wholesome family.

Undead Unluck

Summary: Action, Comedy, Super Powers. For the past 10 years, Fuuko has been afflicted by a condition that brings extreme misfortune to anyone who touches her. This has resulted in the deaths of her parents.

As she stands on a bridge above train tracks, Fuuko is touched by a strange man, causing the footing underneath him to break and dropping him in front of an oncoming train. However, when Fuuko finds the man's corpse, she discovers that his body is regenerating and that he is coming back to life.

The man is immortal and wishes for death. Together, the two will look for the best death possible.

Rating: ★★

Review: god, this one is absolutely insane and so full of blood and death, help. But it is good, I had A Lot of fun with the first ep and I'll give it a chance because I can see myself getting really into the main couple. This is a hardcore shounen tho, so it does include some classically annoying tropes, especially since the dude has to touch her to be hit by her unlucky powers.

This season only had 2 shoujos, and one of them had a classic shoujo problem (problematic age gaps), so i didn't watch it. Here is to hoping next season has more shoujosei.

Thank you for reading until the end (wtf, are you crazy) and happy watching <3

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thatsoanjie · 2 months ago

Text

Hometown

Sebastian Sallow x Muggle born! reader

Summary : Sebastian visits you and your family home the summer after your sixth year. You sort through childhood trinkets, share a moment you thought you weren't prepared for, and more ensues.

Word count : 7.6k

Notes : Dual POV! Chose West Sussex for this one lol. Also your muggle parents' names are Thea and Gerald.

No warnings! Just some good fluff lol.

Read my disclaimer and fair use notice here

The sun hung low in the sky, casting a warm, golden glow over the rolling hills of West Sussex. The air was thick with the scent of blooming flowers and freshly cut grass, a stark contrast to the harsh, windswept moors of Feldcroft. Sebastian Sallow stood on the edge of your family garden, gazing out at the landscape with a mix of wonder and curiosity. It was his first time visiting your home, and he found himself captivated by the serene beauty of the countryside.

"It's so different from Feldcroft," he murmured, more to himself than to you.

You stood a few paces away, turning to look at him, a hint of amusement flickering in your dark eyes. "Not used to all this greenery, Sallow?"

He grinned, his eyes meeting yours with a playful glint. "It's not that. Feldcroft has its own kind of beauty, but it's… harsher, I suppose. This place feels more… peaceful."

You nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "West Sussex is like that. It's always been a place where I could escape, especially when things get overwhelming."

He watched you for a moment, noticing the way the evening light softened your features, making you seem almost ethereal. "I can see why you'd want to escape here," he said softly.

You looked away, trying to maintain your usual cool exterior, but there was a slight flush to your cheeks that you hoped he wouldn’t notice. "Come on," you said briskly, turning on your heel and heading toward the house. "I want to show you something."

Sebastian followed you inside, his curiosity piqued. Your home was a charming, old-fashioned house, filled with the kind of warmth and character that only years of happy memories could create. The walls were lined with framed photographs, many of them showing a younger version of yourself with your family, your smile more open and carefree than he had ever seen at Hogwarts.

"Your house is lovely," he remarked as you both climbed the stairs to the second floor. "It's got a lot of personality."

"Thanks," you replied casually. "It's been in the family for generations. My grandparents used to live here, and my parents inherited it when they passed away."

You led him down a narrow hallway to a small, cozy room at the end. The walls were painted a soft lavender, and the shelves were lined with books, trinkets, and other mementos from your childhood. A large, antique trunk sat at the foot of the bed, its surface worn with age.

"This is my room," you said, your voice tinged with a hint of nostalgia. "I've had it since I was a kid."

Sebastian glanced around, taking in the details that gave him a glimpse into your past. "It suits you," he said, his voice soft.

You rolled your eyes, though there was no real annoyance in the gesture. "Don't get all sentimental on me, Sallow."

He chuckled, crossing the room to stand beside you. "Wouldn't dream of it."

You knelt beside the trunk, your fingers brushing over the worn wood as you opened it. "I thought you might like to see some of the things I’ve kept from when I was younger," you said, your tone casual, though there was a hint of vulnerability in your words.

Sebastian crouched down next to you, his interest piqued. "I'd love to."

You began pulling out various items, laying them on the floor between you. There were old, dog-eared books, a few stuffed animals, and a collection of pressed flowers, each one carefully preserved between the pages of a faded journal. As you worked, you explained the significance of each item, your voice growing softer and more thoughtful as you reminisced about your childhood.

"These were some of my favorite books," you said, handing him a well-worn copy of The Secret Garden. "I used to read them over and over again. They were my escape, I suppose, before I knew there was a real world of magic out there."

Sebastian took the book from you, his fingers brushing against yours for just a moment before you pulled away. "I can imagine you with your nose buried in a book," he said with a grin. "Even before Hogwarts, you were always the serious type, huh?"

You huffed, though there was a faint smile on your lips. "I wasn’t always so serious. But I guess Hogwarts brought out a different side of me."

He studied you for a moment, noting the way you seemed more relaxed here, in the safety of your childhood home. "I like seeing this side of you," he said quietly. "It's different, but… it suits you."

You felt your cheeks warm at his words, and you quickly busied yourself with the trunk, pulling out the next item to avoid meeting his gaze. "Here," you said, holding up a small, wooden box. "This is something I haven’t looked at in years."

You opened the box, revealing a collection of small trinkets—shells, stones, and other bits and pieces that you had gathered over the years. Sebastian reached in and picked up a smooth, blue stone, turning it over in his hand.

"This is pretty," he remarked, his voice thoughtful. "Where did you find it?"

You smiled, your expression softening as you remembered. "I found it on a family holiday to Cornwall when I was seven. I was convinced it was a magical stone, like something out of one of my books. I carried it with me everywhere."

He chuckled, holding the stone up to the light. "It’s not magical, but it’s got its own charm."

You watched him for a moment, feeling a strange mixture of affection and nervousness. There was something about the way he handled your old belongings, with such care and interest, that made your heart ache in a way you weren’t used to.

"You know," he said, his tone turning more serious, "it's moments like these that make me realize how different our lives were before Hogwarts. You had all this… this warmth, this history. Feldcroft was… well, you know what it’s like. It’s hard, isolated. Anne and I didn’t have much besides each other."

Your gaze softened, and you placed a hand on his arm. "You had each other, and that’s something. I didn’t have a sibling, but I always wanted one. I’m glad you had Anne."

He looked down at your hand, his expression unreadable for a moment before he smiled, a bit of the old mischievous glint returning to his eyes. "You’re different," he said, his voice low and teasing. "I’m not sure I’ve ever met anyone quite like you."

You quickly pulled your hand back, trying to maintain your composed exterior, though your heart was racing. "Don’t start, Sallow," you warned, though your tone was more playful than serious.

But he was undeterred, leaning in slightly, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Start what? Telling you that you’re intriguing? That I enjoy spending time with you?"

You rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t stop the small smile that tugged at your lips. "You’re impossible."

He grinned, clearly pleased with himself. "Maybe. But you like me anyway."

You tried to give him a stern look, but it was difficult to keep your composure when he was so close, his familiar scent filling your senses. "You’re awfully sure of yourself, aren’t you?"

He shrugged, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "I just call it like I see it."

For a moment, the room was filled with a charged silence, the air thick with unspoken words and feelings. It was a moment of vulnerability, of closeness, that neither of you had quite expected. Your heart raced as you struggled to keep your cool, while Sebastian’s gaze softened, as though he were seeing you in a new light.

Finally, it was you who broke the tension, reaching for another item in the trunk. "Here," you said, your voice a bit too bright. "I want to show you this."

Sebastian watched you for a moment longer, as though considering whether to push the matter, but then he relented, leaning back to give you space.

You pulled out an old, leather-bound journal, its pages yellowed with age. "This was my first journal," you explained, your tone more subdued now. "I started it when I was eight. I used to write about everything—my dreams, my fears, the things I wanted to do when I grew up."

He took the journal from you, flipping through the pages with a gentle touch. "Did you ever write about magic?" he asked, his voice soft.

You nodded, a wistful smile on your lips. "All the time. I didn’t know it was real, of course, but I was fascinated by the idea of it. I used to imagine that I was a witch, living in a world full of magical creatures and hidden powers."

Sebastian’s gaze flicked up to meet yours, his expression thoughtful. "And now you’re living that dream."

"Yes," you agreed, though your tone was tinged with a hint of melancholy. "But it’s different from what I imagined. The reality is… more complicated."

He nodded, understanding the weight behind your words. "It always is. But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it."

You looked at him, your heart aching with a mixture of emotions you couldn’t quite name. There was something about Sebastian—something in the way he looked at you, in the way he spoke to you—that made you feel seen in a way you hadn’t been before. It was both exhilarating and terrifying.

"Thank you," you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper.

"For what?" he asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.

"For being here," you replied, your gaze dropping to the floor. "For understanding."

He reached out, gently lifting your chin so that you were looking at him again. "I’m glad I’m here," he said. "And I’m glad you let me in."

For a moment, you simply stared at each other, the air between you charged with an unspoken tension. Then, slowly, almost hesitantly, Sebastian leaned in, his gaze dropping to your lips.

Your breath caught in your throat, and for a split second, you considered closing the distance between you. But then, at the last moment, you pulled back, your heart pounding in your chest.

"We should… we should get some rest," you said quickly, your voice trembling slightly. "It’s getting late."

Sebastian blinked, surprised by your sudden change in demeanor, but he didn’t push it. Instead, he nodded, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Yeah, you’re right. Tomorrow’s another day."

He stood up, stretching his arms over his head as he prepared to leave. "Thanks for showing me all this," he said, his tone genuine. "It means a lot that you’d share it with me."

You managed a small smile, though your heart was still racing. "I’m glad you’re here, Sebastian. I really am."

He nodded, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer before he turned to leave. "Goodnight," he said softly, his voice carrying a warmth that sent a shiver down your spine.

"Goodnight," you replied, watching as he left the room, the door closing softly behind him.

As soon as he was gone, you let out a shaky breath, your hand coming up to rest against your chest as you tried to steady your racing heart. You had managed to keep your cool, but just barely. There was no denying the pull you felt toward Sebastian, but you knew you had to be careful. You couldn’t afford to let your emotions get the better of you, not when there was so much at stake.

But as you sat there, surrounded by the remnants of your childhood, you couldn’t help but wonder if maybe—just maybe—there was a future for you two beyond friendship. It was a dangerous thought, one that you weren’t quite ready to entertain. But it was there, lingering in the back of your mind, a quiet whisper of what could be.

And as you finally settled into bed, your thoughts drifting to the boy who had become so much more than just a friend, you couldn’t help but smile, knowing that whatever the future held, it was bound to be anything but ordinary.

·····

Sebastian’s POV

Sebastian closed the door to the guest room quietly, letting out a long, slow breath as he leaned back against the wood. His heart was still pounding in his chest, a mixture of adrenaline and something else—something that had been building for years, ever since you had walked into his life.

West Sussex was nothing like Feldcroft. It was peaceful here, almost idyllic, with its rolling hills and lush gardens. The kind of place he might have daydreamed about as a kid, before the world had gotten so complicated. But it wasn’t the beauty of the countryside that had him restless tonight. It was you.

You were unlike anyone he’d ever met—mysterious, guarded, and yet so incredibly captivating. From the moment you arrived at Hogwarts in your fifth year, you intrigued him. But it wasn’t just curiosity anymore. The feelings he had for you had deepened, grown into something he wasn’t quite sure how to handle.

As he moved to the small window in the guest room, looking out at the moonlit garden below, his thoughts were consumed by the events of the evening. He could still see you there, sitting on the floor of your childhood room, surrounded by memories you’d chosen to share with him. It had been a rare glimpse into the side of you that you didn’t often reveal—a side that was vulnerable, human, and so beautifully real.

And then there had been that moment—that moment—when he’d almost kissed you.

He could still feel the warmth of your breath, the soft brush of your fingers as they’d touched while going through your childhood things. It had taken every ounce of restraint not to close the distance between you, to lean in and finally see what it would be like to kiss you, to taste the lips that had haunted his dreams for so long.

But you had pulled away. And that, more than anything, had left him reeling.

Sebastian wasn’t used to feeling uncertain. He was usually confident, even cocky, but you had a way of knocking him off balance. You had a coolness about you, a way of keeping your emotions in check that made him feel like he was always chasing, always trying to catch up.

But tonight, in that room, he’d seen something else. A flicker of something in your eyes, a moment of hesitation that told him you weren’t as unaffected as you pretended to be. It gave him hope—a dangerous, exhilarating hope—that maybe, just maybe, you felt the same way he did.

He ran a hand through his hair, feeling a surge of frustration. He was good at reading people, but you were a puzzle he hadn’t yet solved. Every time he thought he was getting close, you pulled back, retreating behind that carefully constructed facade of yours. It was maddening, but it was also what drew him to you even more.

Sighing, Sebastian moved away from the window and sat down on the edge of the bed. He knew he should get some sleep, but his mind was too wired, too full of thoughts of you. The way you’d looked at him, the softness in your voice when you’d thanked him for understanding… It was a side of you he wanted to see more of, a side he wanted to bring out of you, even if it meant pushing a little harder, taking a few risks.

But then there was the other side of it—the fear that if he pushed too hard, he might scare you away. The last thing he wanted was to lose whatever it was you had, this delicate balance of friendship, flirtation, and something deeper that neither of you had quite dared to name.

Sebastian leaned back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. The room was quiet, the only sound the faint rustle of leaves outside the window. In the stillness, his thoughts drifted back to Feldcroft, to the harsh, windswept landscape that had been his home for so long. It was a place that had shaped him, hardened him, but it was also a place full of memories he’d rather forget.

Coming to your hometown was like stepping into another world, one that was softer, warmer, and so full of life. It was a world he wanted to be a part of, a world that you had invited him into, even if you hadn’t fully realized it yet.

He closed his eyes, the image of your smiling face lingering in his mind. There was a part of him that wanted to rush things, to make you see what was right in front of you. But there was another part—perhaps the wiser part—that knew he had to be patient. You were worth the wait, worth the effort, and if he wanted to win you over, he’d have to do it on your terms.

But damn if it wasn’t difficult.

He felt the weight of your journal in his hand, the one he hadn’t quite been able to let go of after you handed it to him. It was a piece of you, something deeply personal, and he found himself opening it, flipping through the pages with care.

The entries were written in a neat, precise hand, filled with the thoughts and dreams of a younger you, a girl who hadn’t yet been touched by the complexities of the magical world. He smiled as he read about your childhood fantasies, your belief in magic long before you knew it was real. It was like seeing a part of you that had been hidden away, a part that was still innocent and hopeful.

He paused on one entry, written in faded ink, the words barely legible. It was a dream you’d had, about a world where everything was possible, where you could be anything you wanted to be. You’d written about wanting to be strong, to make a difference, to find your place in a world that often felt too big, too overwhelming.

Sebastian felt a pang in his chest as he read those words, understanding all too well the feeling of being lost, of trying to find your way in a world that didn’t always make sense. But you had found your way, and you were stronger than you realized. It was one of the things he admired most about you, one of the things that made him want to be by your side, no matter what.

He closed the journal, setting it gently on the bedside table before lying back down. Sleep still felt distant, but he knew he needed to try. Tomorrow was another day, another chance to figure out where you both stood, to see if there was something more between you waiting to be discovered.

But as he tried to fall asleep, one thought remained clear in his mind: he was falling for you, and there was no turning back. Whatever happened next, he was in this—completely, utterly, and without reservation.

And he could only hope that, in time, you might feel the same way too.

·····

Your POV

The water cascaded down in a steady stream, warm against your skin as you stood under the showerhead, letting the heat soak into your muscles. But no matter how soothing the water was, it couldn’t wash away the frustration that churned inside you.

Why had you pulled away from him? The question kept circling in your mind, relentless and unforgiving. You’d felt it—the moment, the one where the air between you had practically crackled with tension, where the closeness, the intimacy, had felt like a fragile thread just waiting to be tugged. And yet, at the last second, you had stepped back, put distance between you and Sebastian, the boy who had somehow, over the past year, managed to get under your skin in a way no one else ever had.

You turned off the water with a sharp twist of the knob, the sound of the showerhead sputtering to a stop the only noise in the bathroom. The silence that followed was deafening, filled with the echoes of your own thoughts. You were angry—angry at yourself for being so guarded, for letting fear and caution dictate your actions.

You stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around yourself as you stared at your reflection in the mirror. The person staring back at you was composed, calm, the same mask you wore every day. But beneath that exterior was a storm of emotions you didn’t know how to control, a whirlwind of longing, confusion, and something else—something that scared you.

You wanted him. There was no denying it anymore, no point in pretending that you didn’t feel the same pull, the same desire that he so clearly felt. But you had always been so careful, so determined to keep yourself in check, to avoid the pitfalls of vulnerability that could lead to heartache.

But now, standing there in the dim light of the bathroom, you realized that maybe—just maybe—being careful wasn’t enough anymore. Maybe it was time to take a risk, to stop holding back and let yourself feel, let yourself be open to whatever it was that Sebastian had been offering, had been waiting for.

Your heart pounded as you dried off, slipping into a soft, comfortable set of pajamas, your mind racing as you made up your mind. You had pulled away from him once, but you didn’t have to keep running. Not from him. Not from what you wanted.

Wrapping your towel around your damp hair, you took a deep breath and made your way to the guest room where Sebastian was staying. The house was quiet, the only sound the creaking of the floorboards beneath your feet as you padded down the hallway. With each step, your resolve strengthened, and by the time you reached his door, you were determined to finish what he had started.

You hesitated for only a moment before raising your hand and knocking softly. The sound seemed to echo in the silence of the night, and you held your breath, waiting.

There was a pause, and then you heard his voice, soft and questioning. “Yeah?"

"Sebastian," you replied, your voice steady even though your heart was racing. "It’s me."

A few seconds later, the door creaked open, and there he was, standing in the dim light of the guest room, his expression a mixture of surprise and curiosity. He was still dressed in his clothes from earlier, though his shirt was rumpled, and his hair was slightly tousled, as though he had been lying down.

"Is everything alright?" he asked, his brow furrowing slightly in concern.

You took a deep breath, your eyes meeting his as you stepped closer. "I’m sorry," you said quietly, the words coming out more easily than you’d expected. "For earlier. For pulling away."

His expression softened, and he stepped back to let you into the room, closing the door gently behind you. "You don’t have to apologize," he said, his voice low and soothing. "I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable."

"You didn’t," you assured him quickly, shaking your head. "That’s not it. I just… I’m not used to this. To feeling like this."

He studied you for a moment, his eyes searching yours for any hint of hesitation. When he didn’t find any, he nodded slowly, his voice tender as he spoke. "Neither am I, if I’m being honest. But I don’t want to rush you into anything you’re not ready for."

You felt a pang of guilt at the thought that he might be holding back for your sake, that he was willing to put his own feelings aside just to make sure you were comfortable. But more than that, you felt a surge of affection for him, for the way he had always been patient with you, even when you had given him every reason not to be.

"Sebastian," you said softly, taking a step closer until you were standing just inches away from him, "I’m ready. I’m here because I want to be. With you."

His breath hitched slightly at your words, and for a moment, neither of you moved, the tension between you palpable, charged with the weight of everything unspoken. Then, slowly, as if afraid you might change your mind, he reached out, his fingers brushing against your cheek, the touch so gentle it sent a shiver down your spine.

"You’re sure?" he whispered, his voice thick with emotion, with a tenderness that made your heart ache.

You nodded, your own voice trembling slightly as you replied, "I’m sure."

That was all the encouragement he needed. In the next moment, he closed the distance between you, his arms wrapping around you and pulling you close, his warmth seeping into you as you melted against him. It was the first time you had ever allowed yourself to be this close to him, to let your guard down completely, and it was intoxicating.

He pressed his forehead against yours, his breath warm against your skin as he whispered, "I’ve wanted this for so long."

You closed your eyes, leaning into his touch, feeling the steady beat of his heart against your own. "Me too," you admitted to both him and yourself, the words soft, almost fragile.

He pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, his expression tender, almost reverent, as if he couldn’t quite believe this was real. His hand slid down to cup your cheek, his thumb tracing the line of your jaw with a gentleness that made your chest tighten.

"Tell me to stop, and I will," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, as if he were afraid to break the spell that had settled over you.

But you didn’t want him to stop. You didn’t want to go back to the way things had been, always holding back, always pretending that you didn’t feel the way you did. So instead of pulling away, you leaned in, your lips brushing against his in the faintest of kisses.

It was soft, tentative, as if you were both testing the waters, but it sent a jolt of electricity through you, a spark that ignited something deep inside. Sebastian let out a shaky breath, his hand tightening slightly on your waist as he deepened the kiss, his lips warm and insistent against yours.

You responded in kind, your hands finding their way to his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breath beneath your fingertips. It was all so new, so overwhelming, but at the same time, it felt right—like this was where you were meant to be, in his arms, with his lips on yours.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathing heavily, your foreheads resting against each other as you tried to catch your breath. The room was filled with a heavy silence, but it was a silence that spoke volumes, that said all the things you hadn’t yet found the words to say.

"I don’t want to hold back anymore," you whispered, your voice trembling with the weight of the admission. "I want to be with you, Sebastian."

He let out a shaky laugh, his breath warm against your skin as he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. "You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to hear you say that," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.

You smiled, your heart swelling with a warmth that you hadn’t realized you’d been missing. "Well, now you’ve heard it," you replied, your tone light, but your words filled with sincerity. "And I mean it."

He pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, his gaze soft and filled with a tenderness that made your breath catch in your throat. "I want this too," he said quietly, his thumb brushing against your cheek in a gentle caress. "I want you."

There was something in the way he said it, in the way he looked at you, that made your heart skip a beat. It wasn’t just about the attraction, the physical pull you felt toward him. It was deeper than that, something that had been building between you for months, something that neither of you had been willing to acknowledge until now.

It was a connection, a bond that went beyond friendship, beyond the flirtation that had danced between you. It was something real, something that had the potential to be so much more if you were both brave enough to let it.

And in that moment, as you stood there in the quiet of the guest room, you realized that you were ready. You were ready to take that step, to let yourself feel, to let yourself be open to whatever it was that you had with Sebastian.

Sebastian’s POV

Sebastian had barely settled into the guest room, his thoughts still a tangled mess from earlier, when there was a soft knock on his door. His heart leapt into his throat, recognizing the sound immediately—your knock.

"Yeah?" he called softly, not entirely trusting his voice to stay steady.

"Sebastian" came your reply, a quiet affirmation that sent his pulse racing even faster. "It’s me."

For a moment, he hesitated, a whirlwind of emotions storming inside him. He had convinced himself that tonight was over, that whatever had been brewing between you two would have to wait, maybe forever. But here you were, standing outside his door in the dead of night, and he could hardly believe it.

He crossed the room in a few quick strides and opened the door, finding you standing there in your pajamas, your hair still damp from the shower, your eyes searching his face with an intensity that made his breath catch.

"Is everything alright?" he asked, the words coming out before he could think them through. The last thing he wanted was for you to think he was anything less than thrilled to see you there.

You took a step closer, your eyes never leaving his, and in that moment, Sebastian felt the air between you crackle with that same electric tension you had shared earlier. "I’m sorry," you said, your voice so soft and vulnerable that it cut right through him. "For earlier. For pulling away."

Sebastian’s heart twisted at the sight of you like this—unsure, almost apologetic, when you had no reason to be. He stepped back to let you in, closing the door behind you as a wave of protectiveness washed over him. "You don’t have to apologize," he said gently, trying to reassure you. "I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable."

"You didn’t," you insisted, shaking your head. "That’s not it. I just… I’m not used to this. To feeling like this."

Your words hung in the air between you, and for a moment, Sebastian was struck silent by the raw honesty in them. He had always known that you were different, that you kept your emotions close to your chest, guarded by that cool facade you wore so well. But hearing you admit that you were struggling with these feelings, that you were feeling just as conflicted and overwhelmed as he was… it made him want to reach out, to close the gap between you and tell you that you didn’t have to go through this alone.

"Neither am I, if I’m being honest," he confessed, his voice tender. "But I don’t want to rush you into anything you’re not ready for."

It was the truth. Sebastian had always been drawn to you, fascinated by your quiet strength, your intelligence, the way you carried yourself with a calm confidence that made others take notice. But he also knew how easily you could retreat behind that wall of yours, and the last thing he wanted was to push you too far, too fast.

"Sebastian," you said softly, taking another step closer, until you were just inches apart. He could feel the warmth of your body, the faint scent of your soap still clinging to your skin, and it made his heart race all over again. "I’m ready. I’m here because I want to be. With you."

The words hit him like a bolt of lightning, electrifying every nerve in his body. For a moment, he simply stared at you, hardly daring to believe that this was real. But the sincerity in your eyes, the way you were looking at him, was all the confirmation he needed.

His breath hitched as he reached out, his hand trembling slightly as he brushed his fingers against your cheek. "You’re sure?" he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. He needed to hear you say it again, needed to know that this wasn’t just a fleeting moment.

You nodded, your eyes never leaving his. "I’m sure."

And that was it. The last thread of restraint inside him snapped, and he pulled you close, his arms wrapping around you as if he could somehow shield you from everything else in the world. The feel of you against him, soft and warm, sent a shiver down his spine, and he pressed his forehead against yours, closing his eyes as he let the moment wash over him.

"I’ve wanted this for so long," he whispered, his voice shaking with the intensity of his feelings.

You leaned into him, your hands resting against his chest, and he could feel the steady rhythm of your breathing, the rise and fall of your chest against his. "Me too," you murmured, the words so soft that they barely reached his ears, but they were enough to make his heart swell with emotion.

Sebastian pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes tracing every feature of your face, memorizing the way you looked at him, the way you seemed to glow in the soft light of the room. His hand slid down to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing along your jawline with a tenderness that he didn’t think he was capable of.

"Tell me to stop, and I will," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. He needed you to know that you were in control, that he would never push you further than you wanted to go.

But instead of pulling away, you leaned in, your lips brushing against his in the faintest of kisses. It was tentative, hesitant, but it sent a bolt of electricity straight through him, igniting a fire that had been smoldering for months.

Sebastian let out a shaky breath, his hand tightening on your waist as he deepened the kiss, his lips moving against yours with a hunger that he could no longer deny. The world outside the room seemed to disappear, leaving only the two of you, caught in the whirlwind of your emotions, your desires.

Your hands slid up his chest, fingers tangling in his shirt as you responded to his kiss, your movements just as desperate, just as full of need. It was everything he had imagined, everything he had dreamed about, but it was also so much more, so much deeper, because it was real.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathing heavily, your foreheads resting against each other as you tried to catch your breath. The room was silent, the only sound the rapid beating of your hearts, but it was a silence that spoke of all the things you hadn’t said, all the things you had been too afraid to admit.

"I don’t want to hold back anymore," you whispered, your voice trembling with the weight of the admission. "I want to be with you, Sebastian."

Sebastian felt his heart swell at your words, felt the last of his doubts melt away in the warmth of your confession. He let out a shaky laugh, his breath warm against your skin as he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. "You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to hear you say that," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.

You smiled, and it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. "Well, now you’ve heard it," you replied, your tone light, but your words filled with sincerity. "And I mean it."

He pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, his gaze soft and filled with a tenderness that he had never felt for anyone else. "I want this too," he said quietly, his thumb brushing against your cheek in a gentle caress. "I want you."

And it was the truth. He wanted you, more than he had ever wanted anything in his life. But it wasn’t just about the attraction, the physical pull he felt toward you. It was deeper than that, something that had been building between you for months, something that neither of you had been willing to acknowledge until now.

And as he stood there, holding you close, feeling the warmth of your body against his, Sebastian knew that he was ready. He was ready to take that step, to let himself feel, to let himself be open to whatever it was that you had together.

So, when you leaned in again, your lips finding his in a kiss that was deeper, more certain, he didn’t hesitate. He kissed you back with everything he had, pouring all of his emotions into that one moment, letting you know without words that he was all in, that he wasn’t going to hold back anymore.

And as your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer, he knew that this was only the beginning.

Whatever the future held, he didn’t care. All that mattered was that you were in this together, and that was more than enough for him.

Because in this moment, with you in his arms, he knew that he had found something real, something worth holding on to.

And he wasn’t going to let it slip away.

****

Your POV – The morning after

The morning sun filtered through the curtains, casting a warm, golden light across the room. You blinked slowly, the events of the previous night coming back to you in a rush of emotion. The memories were vivid—Sebastian’s touch, the tenderness in his gaze, the way he had held you close as if you were the most precious thing in the world. You turned your head on the pillow, your heart swelling at the sight of him beside you, still sound asleep, his breathing soft and even.

For a moment, you simply watched him, feeling an overwhelming sense of contentment. Last night had been more than you could have ever hoped for—filled with intimacy, trust, and the quiet understanding that whatever had been brewing between you had finally found its place.

You shifted slightly, careful not to wake him as you slipped out of bed, your feet touching the cool wooden floor. As you stood, wrapping yourself in a robe, you couldn’t help but smile at the thought of what your parents would say when they saw the two of you together this morning.

You were certain they had been waiting for this moment almost as long as you had.

The house was quiet as you made your way downstairs, the scent of freshly brewed coffee wafting through the air. You found your parents in the kitchen, your mother, Thea, standing by the stove while your father, Gerald, sat at the table, reading the morning paper.

“Good morning,” you greeted, your voice a bit softer than usual, as though you were afraid to break the gentle peace that had settled over the house.

“Good morning, darling,” your mother replied, turning to you with a warm smile. “Did you sleep well?”

You felt a blush creep up your cheeks, and you quickly busied yourself with pouring a cup of coffee. “Yes, I did. Thank you.”

Your father glanced up from his paper, a knowing smile playing at the corners of his lips. “So, where’s young Mr. Sallow this morning?”

You nearly choked on your coffee, the blush deepening as you shot your father a look. “He’s… He’ll be down in a bit.”

Your mother exchanged a glance with your father, her smile widening as she turned back to the stove. “I had a feeling it wouldn’t be long before you two finally sorted things out,” she said, her tone light but full of warmth.

You stared at her, a mix of embarrassment and surprise flooding through you. “You knew?”

Gerald chuckled, setting his paper down. “It was fairly obvious, love. The way you two have been dancing around each other for the past year… It was only a matter of time.”

You felt your heart skip a beat, a mixture of relief and amusement filling you. “I didn’t realize we were so transparent.”

Thea turned to face you, her eyes soft and full of understanding. “It’s alright. We’re just happy that you’ve found someone who makes you so happy. That’s all we’ve ever wanted for you.”

You felt a lump form in your throat, the emotions of the past day catching up with you. “Thank you,” you said softly, your voice thick with emotion. “That means a lot.”

Before your mother could respond, you heard footsteps on the stairs, and a moment later, Sebastian appeared in the doorway, his hair still slightly tousled from sleep. He hesitated for a moment when he saw you standing with your parents, but then he offered a sheepish smile. “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Sebastian,” your father greeted, his voice full of warmth. “I trust you slept well?”

Sebastian’s eyes flicked to you, and you could see the faint flush on his cheeks as he replied, “Yes, very well. Thank you.”

“Good, good,” Gerald said with a nod, clearly enjoying the moment. “Breakfast is almost ready. Why don’t you sit down and join us?”

Sebastian glanced at you, a small, tentative smile playing on his lips, before he nodded and moved to sit at the table. You followed suit, taking the seat beside him, your heart fluttering at the thought of how natural it all felt—sitting there with him, with your parents, as though this was how it was always meant to be.

Your mother set a plate of eggs and toast in front of you both, her eyes twinkling with barely concealed amusement. “So,” she began, her tone casual, “how long have you and Sebastian been… you know?”

You nearly dropped your fork, your eyes widening in shock. “Mum!”

Thea laughed, a light, musical sound that only added to your embarrassment. “What? I’m just curious. It’s not every day my daughter brings home such a charming young man.”

Sebastian chuckled beside you, his usual confidence returning as he glanced at your mother. “I think we only just figured that out ourselves, Mrs. Williams.”

Your mother beamed, clearly pleased with his response. “Well, it’s about time, if you ask me. We were starting to wonder if we needed to give you two a little nudge.”

Gerald nodded in agreement, a mischievous smile on his face. “We’ve been watching you two for a while now, and I have to say, it’s nice to see you finally getting on with it.”

You felt the heat rise in your cheeks, but there was no denying the warmth that spread through your chest at their words. They had always been supportive, always encouraged you to follow your heart, but hearing them speak so openly about their approval of Sebastian—it meant more than you could put into words.

Sebastian reached under the table, his hand finding yours and giving it a reassuring squeeze. You glanced at him, finding his eyes filled with that same tenderness that had been there last night, the one that made your heart swell with affection.

“We’ll try not to disappoint,” he said with a grin, his voice teasing, but there was an underlying sincerity that made your heart skip a beat.

The rest of breakfast passed in a blur of light conversation and easy laughter, the kind that came naturally when you were surrounded by people who cared for you, who wanted nothing more than to see you happy. And as you sat there, hand in hand with Sebastian, you realized just how lucky you were—to have him, to have your parents, to have this moment.

When breakfast was finished, your parents rose from the table, your mother patting you gently on the shoulder as she passed by. “We’ll leave you two alone for a bit,” she said with a knowing smile. “Take your time.”

As they left the kitchen, you turned to Sebastian, your heart full to bursting with everything you felt for him, everything you hadn’t yet had the chance to say.

“They knew,” you said, shaking your head in disbelief.

He chuckled, pulling you closer, his arm slipping around your waist. “They did. They’re smarter than we gave them credit for.”

You smiled, leaning into him, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. “I guess we weren’t as subtle as we thought.”

“Apparently not,” he agreed, his voice soft, a hint of amusement lacing his words. “But I’m glad. It feels… good, doesn’t it? To finally be here, with you.”

You looked up at him, your heart swelling with love for this boy who had somehow become so much more than just a friend. “Yeah,” you whispered, your voice trembling with the weight of everything you felt. “It feels perfect.”

And as he leaned down to kiss you, slow and tender, you knew that whatever challenges lay ahead, whatever uncertainties the future held, you would face them together—with the love of your parents behind you, and with Sebastian by your side.

***

This one was funnn!! Thank you for reading, requests are open. Hope you're having a good september!

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rainbowsky · 8 months ago

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I haven’t had any questions lately but love your blog and your insights. In a video of the group photo at Milan fashion week, GG is sitting next to the older man and they are talking. I figure in some videos when GG is talking to others he has translators but it does not look like anyone from his staff is around and I was wondering if they were speaking in English or what other languages he might speak. Love to hear your insights and hope you are doing well.

Hi coyote! Thanks so much, I'm glad you're enjoying my blog! 😊

The man he's seen talking with a lot is Diego Della Valle, the CEO of Tod's. GG has a fantastic relationship with him, and he even referred to him as yeye (grandpa) in his Vogue interview from the show.

Last time GG was in Milan Della Valle took GG on a tour of some beautiful sites around Italy - including the Colloseum in Rome -and some sites significant to the brand (the workshop, the flagship store, etc.). GG got to spend a lot of time with him, so they had plenty of opportunity to build a strong relationship.

You can tell just by his entire demeanour around GG that Della Valle adores GG. Which makes absolute sense given how cute, gracious and charming GG is. When GG arrived at the Tod's show this year Della Valle lit up like a Christmas tree.

They sat together last year at the Tod's show as well (those who missed out on last year's trip can check out my 'gg milan fashion week 2023' tag).

Anyway, you weren't asking about Della Valle, you were asking about how GG is able to communicate with him. The simple answer is that GG does have some English!

Many students in China learn English in school, although they sometimes don't get as much opportunity to speak it, so it's probably kind of like my French - I understand quite well to hear, read and write it, but my accent and pronunciation are a bit rough around the edges (that's putting it mildly 😅).

With the international travel he's done and all the elbow-rubbing he's had to do with foreign celebrities and brand stakeholders I think GG has had a lot more opportunity than the average person to exercise his language skills, so I've no doubt he's improving all the time.

He's also a huge music lover and has many times been seen singing English songs from Avril Lavigne, Ellie Goulding, Sam Smith and many more. A couple of English performances he's done in the past:

youtube

Starts at 3:22 (I'll never get over hockey player GG 🥲).

It also seems clear that GG has a general interest in languages. He knows a fair bit of Korean and he and DD are seen in The Untamed BTS speaking various languages and dialects, including English. This is also a common feature of LRLG rumors.

There are many clips to be found online of GG speaking English for ads, occasionally a few lines for drama roles, throwing in English phrases into interviews, etc. Just based those alone I think one can tell that he's got pretty good English. His pronunciation is quite good.

If you watch some of the vlogs he's posted from the international events, and some of the clips shared by brands and magazines, you can catch moments of GG having English interactions with many people at those events. One of my absolute favorites is when he's replying to a bodyguard in a vlog when he was in Florence last year (starts at 4:08).

The bodyguard is trying to teach him how to roll his r to pronounce Florence in Italian ('Firenze') and GG says, "I can't do it." The way he says it is so damn cute, I almost died when I heard it.

Anyway, so to answer your question, GG speaks in English with Della Valle and others at those events!

#bjyx #yizhan #gg milan fashion week 2024 #ggdd entertainment circle #ggdd endorsements #tod's #ggdd uncategorized #ask #english #ggdd english

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galvanizedfriend · 1 month ago

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hi! so i’ve read pretty much all of your works and loved them so much. your writing is amazing and some of the best fan fiction i’ve read.

the only ones i haven read from you are the wolf series but i keep hearing so many good things about it.

i know it’s a TO rewrite with caroline instead of hayley (and i could look past the baby plot if it means klaroline) but i’ve tried watching the show a few times and hated hayley’s personality and some other nuances to the show and o was wondering if The Wolf is Caroline in place of Hayley but her personality and the way she acts in situations is how Hayley does in the show, or if it’s very much so Caroline if she were put in the position Hayley is in? if that makes sense

First of all, thank you very much, nonnie! ❤️ Glad you enjoy my little fics 🥰 Your question makes perfect sense, yes.

The short answer is: no, Caroline is not just Hayley in a wig 😂 If you're asking me, I'm obviously going to say it's completely different! I'm biased, but I also know how much work I put into it, so I know all the ways TW deviates from the show. I think Caroline is very IC in this, if I may say so myself, so obviously not Hayley, and every time I've gone back to re-read parts of this fic I have had a great time 😂 So personally, I think this is a very entertaining story, but again, it's my story lol Other people might be able to give you less biased opinions.

If you hate hate The Originals, there is still a chance you won't like this anyway, but I do think it's very different, and I have a longer answer if you're interested.

Under the cut because I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! Be careful what you guys ask me, you might get a freaking bible as a reply.

I have become deffensive of this fic over the years because I have received some very nasty comments in the past (not saying your question is offensive in any way, nonnie, this is a very valid question!). I can respect people not liking it, I can respect this isn't everybody's cup of tea, and that's totally fine. What I can't stand is when people tell me I haven't done anything to the show, or that Klaus and Caroline are exactly the same as Klaus and Hayley. I did not spend the amount of time I have spent overthinking and overwriting this shit into something that makes much more sense and is way more fleshed out than the show ever was to hear from people that I've done nothing. I can't even list all the ways TW deviates from the show, or Caroline from Hayley, because I'd be here for the rest of the day.

As the person writing the story, I know exactly how much thought I have put into it, how many original scenes and dialogues and shit I write each chapter, and how much of what I've taken from the show I have cracked my brain to twist and change in a way that fits. I have spent more time of my life overthinking the crappy writing on this show in order to add context and find correlations and make connections and rationalize characters' behaviors and add depth to their actions and their thoughts, and let me tell you, nonnie, it was not easy. It's unbelievable how weak the writing for TO is, the actors do a lot of the work all by themselves. My friends who were with me during this time know how fucking annoying I was lol

This was me sending messages to @definedareasofuncertainty in the middle of the night to explain an idea:

I realize I can't expect readers to feel the same way, everyone is entitled to their opinions and I can only be responsible for what I write, not for how people are going to understand it, but I can't help the way I feel because, to me, it's insane when someone reads this and thinks it's the same. The entire premise of The Wolf is different. It's never about the baby, the baby is almost background noise. The Originals starts and ends around Hope, but The Wolf is not about baby Eve (that's the baby's name), it's about Caroline. Everything is about Caroline, and about Klaus' feelings for her.

A lot of what I think is wrong with TO is that it just doesn't make sense. The things they do, the choices they make, the way they relate to each other just doesn't work, and what I tried to do was rewrite it in a way that it did make sense, not only moving the story forward, but also, and especially, the characters, their motivations and their relationships. I feel like TO was always going to be a better show if they'd focused more on characters than on plot, because that's what I was there for from the start, the family and their bonds, not undercover werewolf packs or baby-stealing aunts. But the writers sacrificed the characters so much for the sake of some arguably very silly plots (don't even get me started here…). While I do keep the plot points, what I tried to do (and hopefully succeeded, at least to a certain degree) was to bring the characters to the front and push the action and enemies and wars and such to the background. So instead of having the characters reacting to the plot, I have the plot serving the characters, if that makes sense. I kept the parts that interested me and that I felt I could use to serve my purposes and threw out everything I could dispense with.

And what I was aiming for first and foremost was to get Caroline the center stage I always felt she deserved, and the love story she could've had with Klaus. So the whole thing is really about that. S1 is the two of them sorting through their differences and understanding their feelings for each other, S2 is the two of them negotiating an actual relationship, S3 is them being married. That's it. I had the best time writing about the two of them through the eyes of the other characters, to have Elijah and Rebekah and Kol and Marcel witnessing and monologuing about Klaroline, all these different points of view on them. And my actual favorite part of the entire story is the part that isn't The Originals at the end of TW2.

So anyway, my point with my TO rewriting was never to fix everything that is wrong with the show. I wasn't writing the version of TO I wish it had been, my ideal spin off. I could've done that, but I didn't, because it's not what the project was ever about when I started. I wanted to keep the show as close to what it is as possible, whilst trying to prove a point (to myself, but also, hopefully, to some other people) that there was a way that this show could've still kept me invested. I'm an easy girl, just give me faves on their journey towards endgame and I'm satisfied, you know.

If you made it to the end of this, congratulations, nonnie 😂 You wanted a yes or no answer and you got a STATEMENT. I'm very sorry for my dumbass response, I've just become *protective* of this fic. If you do read it, I hope you'll find it enjoyable. If not, that's ok too! There are many amazing fics out there for you to be wasting your time on something that won't spark joy for you ❤️ And thanks again for reading my other fics, that's very lovely of you!

#yokan answers #yokan doesn't know how to shut up #you guys should really be careful what you ask me istg #the wolf is my baby it's the fanservice of my heart i will die on this hill ok #you cannot pry it from my cold dead hands

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transpersian · 10 months ago

Text

Doc 3 is about PZ's kid

And yes, that means what you think it means. We've been talking. A lot.

From my Twitter thread:

Needed some time to think.

I've been trying too hard to make too many people happy, even with contradictory needs. I've been letting people jerk me back and forth on what they think is right. I've been trying REALLY hard to be nice.

Biding my time. No more.

PZ’s kid is okay.

Back in October, after months of worrying about optics, we decided that it was too important: we had to see if Poppy’s kid was okay. They’d literally ESCAPED, ffs. They’re 23, but still.

And before anyone says anything, I WAS RIGHT. This is the first thing they said to me:

Yes, I understand the delicacy of the situation. Yes, I understand how this looks. But please understand: I’m not just some internet rando who’s in way over her head. I’ve been supporting abuse survivors in deep and intense ways for decades, and I’m damned good at it.

I’d fuck off if they had a negative response. I’d push for them not to be involved in any efforts against their mom. In the end, what ended up being our priority was making sure that The Kid (no real name plz) was okay and knew we were there if they needed help.

Fuck the optics.

I helped them clean up the tracks that led to them, then we started talking. Initially, I insisted on this being strictly for support. They wanted to get involved and I pushed back. Said if they really wanted to, they could send me screenshots, not thinking they’d apply.

Oh boy.

First they sent them to me to illustrate their points, but they insisted that I was free to use any of them. That first batch of 12 was jarring enough.

Then, unprompted, they sent me 70 more.

They want me to tell their story. They want me to show you how PZ lie.

And they’re not in a rush. They want me to be thorough.

So in a move I was barely okay with, they gave me access to their 3200-message Signal chat log so I could figure out where relevant screenshots are and have them take them.

I’m taking my time because they’re hard to read.

My mother left when I was 3. My father remarried 4 years later and she was abusive to me for the following 16 years.

I felt unwelcome in my own home, incapable of doing anything right, constantly eggshelling.

Zena makes my experiences with my stepmom look like Sesame Street.

There are little things you notice when you have texts in DB format.

Like how Poppy said “I love you” to her kid eight times from July ’21 to June ’22.

Only twice from July ’22 to June ’23.

Watching them be believed less and less over Zena, who started blatantly lying.

For the past couple of months, when I’ve been able to, I’ve been studying a way-too-intimate look at the death of a mother’s empathy for her child. I’d chat with them sometimes and give them what support I could. Figure out how to respond to ones like this:

I know I’ll only get one shot at this, so here’s what the doc will consist of:

A more complete intro about the above

Transcripts of when PZ have cited The Kid’s abuse on stream

A tally of claims to track

The screenshots

Examples of the “assignments” they were given

A 3.5-page long, single-spaced list of what they deemed unacceptable treatment, which PZ promptly wrote off as bullshit and complained to their friends about

Screenshots from those friends

Direct rebuttals against PZ’s on-stream claims

Additional context from my conversations with TK

Somehow forgot to mention a major chunk: dozens of screenshots from TK’s personal discord with a few close friends, serving essentially as a diary of their experiences. Purely testimonial on that front, I know, but…

I feel like maybe it's worth seeing what a young adult in their early 20s says to their close friends in private about in what's essentially a group chat.

See, PZ’s 23-year-old kid has POTS, a circulatory disorder that affects your body’s regulatory systems, including respiratory. Things that negatively affect POTS:

Skipping meals

Excessive physical labor

Heat

What if I told you PZ would punish them with food restriction?

What if I told you of at least three separate mentions of TK being worked to collapse or illness? That they ignored TK’s symptoms and scolded them for not just eating better? That they worked TK for 8+ hrs some days?

What if I told you that TK is 5’1” and 80 lbs (unrelated)?

What if I showed you when, on-stream, Poppy accused TK of intentionally crying so intensely that she dissociated? Or of abusing Zena?

Can you imagine being pushed so far by your parents that you're in wailing tears, and they don't stop until it reaches that point? And then they accuse you of manipulation?

If you're like me (and what I'd imagine is many members of The Foundation), you don't have to imagine it.

What if I told you that what PZ called “intentionally faking forgetting instructions” when TK was really just having a hard time?

What if I told you I knew what the mysterious psych test Poppy trotted out as proof on stream actually says? What if I told you that Poppy harassed the kid until they gave it up, even though she’s not legally entitled to any of it? Even though she’s abusing the authority of her license?

Remember how Poppy talked about having to rush to the bank to make changes to her accounts because TK withdrew all of their own trust money? What if I told you I have proof that she was talking to them as early as the next morning and TK was completely cooperating?

I’ve heard a lot of horrific testimonies about the things that Poppy has done, but this… This radicalized me.

And it’s radicalized anyone I’ve shown it to.

TK has asked me to use everything I can from them to expose @ZenaandPoppy for what they are:

Abusive Hypocrites

So ultimately, how does this incredibly personal violation of privacy factor into the big picture? Yes, I know what this is. I know what it looks like.

But these are abusive parents who have been using their platform to use their own victim for pity points. That’s how they win.

What I’ve been trying to prove is abusiveness. PZ are recklessly abusive people who hide behind victimhood (and what they used to disdainfully refer to as “idpol”).

This is extensive proof not just THAT they’re abusive liars, but also HOW.

This is what Zena is like with power.

This is a ways off. Still lots to do. But I just want everyone to finally know why I’m still in this.

I know what Poppy and Zena are. Intimately. Not because I’m a “stalker.” Because I’ve had people come to me about how PZ hurt them. 20+ of them with claims from the past year.

I can’t share all of their claims because they only have so much proof. But I believe victims. And this? This I can prove, extensively.

This is why it’s funny when people accuse me of clout-chasing: I have no online brand to care about, and if I did, this would be insane.

People have asked me what the end goal is.

My goal is COMPLETE deplatforming.

For nobody in this community to trust them with their mental health ever again.

They are justifying their abuse with therapy speak and TEACHING THEIR FANS TO DO THE SAME.

They’re dangerous.

Oh, and Zena! Zena! Yeah, right here. I know you were really sad about being left out of the abuse allegations, but trust me, there will be #noZZerasure on this one. You’re a solid 80% of this one, sweetie! How’s that monkey’s paw working out for you?

And in closing, I’m just going to give myself this one additional… treat.

If you’ve been following for a while, you know this reference.

But this one’s for the abuse mob:

You still don’t take us seriously, do you?

Or rather…

Are you taking me seriously yet?

Because you will. I promise you, you fucking will. Because you’re about to understand that this has never been for me. It’s never been about me.

It’s about making sure you two have as few avenues as possible to prey on this community ever again.

See you in school.

#zenaandpoppy #poppy and zena #I told you I was being nice #nozzerasure #“you have no idea what you're actually getting into” right zena

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shadyufo · 4 months ago

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How much do you like selling on Etsy? I've been thinking about opening up a shop to sell my own taxidermy art on there. It's just that I've heard Etsy is known for shutting down shops randomly and people keep saying that Etsy's "dying"/on a downward slope. I also heard there are a lot of scammers... What are your thoughts?

Hi Anon!

My feelings about Etsy have definitely gotten sorta complicated over the last few years.

First of all, I love my little shop. I love getting to interact with so many sweet and lovely folks and I love getting to send my art and oddities all over the country. I’ve sold pieces through Etsy that have ended up in museums and classrooms, as props in movies and television shows, that have been centerpieces in peoples’ weddings, that were birthday gifts for little kids just getting into nature and science, and so many other neat and wonderful places with some really awesome people who I am forever grateful to for supporting my shop.

That said, in my opinion, Etsy is definitely not what it used to be and there are plenty of things I wish they would do differently to make the site better for sellers and buyers. I think their search feature needs a total revamp and they also need to crack down on all the sellers flooding the site with mass-produced merchandise. Their recent decision that AI-made content is totally fine by them is another serious bummer and a slap in the face to the real artists using their platform. The list goes on.

In spite of all that, if you want to open an online shop, then Etsy is still probably the best site to do it on, at least starting out. It’s a trusted, household name and they have millions of users from all around the world so you are going to be getting much more traffic than if you were just starting your own site from scratch without any sort of social media following.

You'll still likely want to grow a social media presence (if you haven't already) to help drive traffic to your site rather than rely on Etsy alone for this. A great deal of my own shop's traffic comes from Tumblr and what little I post on other social media. This is something I really should be better about as I've kinda shot myself in the foot by not utilizing them more over the years...but I just really don't like using TikTok or Instagram haha.

From what I’ve seen, vulture culture stuff-wise, Etsy mostly gets mad at folks who sell wet specimens or other more “gruesome” type of oddities and don’t blur the main listing photo or do something similar to warn folks that it could be something they might find upsetting. They also prohibit the sale of some animal parts that are perfectly legal to buy and sell provided you follow the laws around them. So if a seller was listing some of those items, while legal elsewhere, that might have gotten them in trouble with Etsy. Here's a list of what they don't allow. And here's a more specific list of their prohibited animal parts. Note bear, wolf, and zebra are on the list—it's perfectly legal to sell parts from some of these animals in some places provided you follow the laws around doing so, but Etsy doesn't allow it at all. I've had them remove listings for domestic dog and cat skulls in the past as well—the law there is in regards to selling dog and cat fur (which is illegal in the US) but Etsy seemed to think it covers bones as well which it does not.

As for scammers, don't click on suspicious links anyone sends you and watch out for people wanting to contact you outside of Etsy. Don’t swap phone numbers, email addresses, etc with people. Etsy has guides on their site on what to watch out for that it’d be good to read through.

So all of that to say that if you want to start selling your work online then I think Etsy is most likely going to be the best place to do it, at least starting out. If you want to just dip your toes in the market before opening an Etsy shop though you can always try posting a few items here or there on Instagram or one of the oddities selling groups on Facebook but in my experience at least, Etsy is still the best way to go. Then, once you build up a following, you can always start your own site or branch out beyond Etsy if you want to.

I wish you all the best, Anon! Hope you find wild success selling your work wherever you decide to do it <3

#asks #words #anonymous #Etsy #long post

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withahappyrefrain · 2 years ago

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If your requests are still open, please may I request number 23 from the fluff list for our favourite cowboy Rhett Abbott? I've never watched Outer Range but thanks to Tumblr I'm now obsessed with him 😍 I am also crazy obsessed with your writing and have spent most of my lunch hour reading through your work. You are one talented lady 😘

Hello folks, I present Smitten!Rhett. Some language, lots of pining. I can't write a blurb to save my life.

Shoutout to @rae-gar-targaryen for reading over this and giving amazing feedback and being the reason why I was able to end this fic

You stood out like a sore thumb at the bar.

The neon lights highlighted your sweet smile. How your eyes lit up and the corners around them crinkled. The way your nose slightly scrunched up as you waved your delicate hand to the bartender. The flex of your jaw as you called out your drink order.

Rhett couldn't take his eyes off you. Every motion, every little gesture, every small change was memorizing.

It made no sense to him that an angel like you was in a place like this. Not the bar, but Wabang of all the places. It just didn't add up.

He was already three glasses of straight whiskey in. Normally that wouldn't bother him. Certainly wouldn't stop him from going up to you and making a move, just like he did with all the other buckle bunnies.

But that's not what you were. Rhett couldn't put his finger on it, but you were different somehow. He just knew it. So he just stayed in the corner of the bar, stealing glances when he could, observing you chat to other folks.

Disappointment flared through his heart when he saw you accept your check from the bartender. A whole night had gone by and all he had done was just stare at you.

Disappointment was beginning to morph into anger at himself when the most incredulous thing happened.

You peered up through your lashes, your bright eyes meeting his.

And then you smiled at him.

Your smile put him at ease. Rhett could feel all the tension leave his body, a lightness replacing the anger and bitterness he could never shake off until now.

By the time he had processed it, you were gone.

So Rhett looked for you everywhere after that night. He offered to go to the store, go into town for any little thing. He even went to church with Cecelia and Amy.

Not that he paid any attention to what the pastor was saying. Instead, his cerulean eyes searched for your face amongst the crowd, desperate for another encounter-one where he could actually talk to you.

Who needed heaven when you existed?

After no luck the following week, Rhett began to sink into despair. It was entirely possible that you had just stopped by that one night, a pitstop in-between visits. It was entirely possible he would never learn your name, much less what your voice sounded like. You would just represent a million what-if's, a million regrets, a million-

"Can I get a gin and tonic?"

Rhett gripped the glass of whisky in his hand. The voice was sweet and lithe. It was comforting, like finding an old toy from your childhood that had been tucked away for many years.

Part of him didn't want to look, afraid to find disappointment. He shouldn't be afraid, considering all the disappointments life had handed him in the past.

Somehow he got the courage to look up. and suddenly, all the other nights he had come in to only leave alone and disheartened were worth it. There you were, at the bar, just a few feet away.

Rhett's eyes followed you as you grabbed your drink and walked over to a booth. You were alone.

Maybe you were waiting for other folks to show up. Maybe friends, maybe a date. Rhett's stomach lurched at the thought.

He didn't usually have a problem going up to girls and talking to them. In fact, he was known for it. He knew all the tricks; a tip of the hat to them, cranking up the drawl in his voice like a dial on an old radio, as he leaned in to whisper something dirty in their ear that he never meant, but it would get them into bed with him that night.

And yet, the only thing he could (barely) get out when he walked up to you was, "Is-is this seat taken?"

You looked up to find eyes as deep as the sea staring at you.

A hesitant smile stretched across your face as you took him in. Meanwhile, Rhett was trying to count all the different hues in your eyes.

"Depends on what you're hoping to get out of it," you told him before taking another sip of your drink.

"A conversation?" He looked down at his feet, hoping you wouldn't be able to see that the tops of his cheeks were turning pink. Rhett feels himself flush with an uncommon sense of embarrassment, he feels stupid for thinking someone like you would want to talk to some cowboy who's more known for the notches on his bedpost than the number of successful rodeos he's been in.

Rhett was about to turn around, mumbling an apology when your voice stopped him dead in his tracks.

"I'd like that."

It wasn't until you motioned to the empty spot next to you that Rhett believed what you said.

Talking to you was the easiest thing he had ever done. The conversation flowed freely as you two talked about anything and everything under the artificial lights of the bar.

You were new to town. The reason Rhett never saw you throughout the day was because you were a teacher at the local elementary school. It was also why you didn't come to the bar that often. You taught fourth grade, the solar system was your favorite subject to teach and you had a cat named Rusty.

Rhett was a man of few words, except apparently when it came to you. For the first time since God knows when, he found himself comfortable talking about himself. What bull riding was like, growing up on a ranch, dumb shit he did in high school.

Every time self-doubt began to creep its way into his head, trying to tell him that no one, especially you, wanted to hear him, your bright eyes and sweet smile reassured him.

He liked it. He liked you.

Which was why when he saw sleep in your eyes, he said "We should do this again."

"I think we should," you grinned, the gesture making Rhett's heart flutter.

And so that's what you two did. You would meet up, sometimes at the bar, sometimes at the local diner. Occasionally, Rhett would take you out to the pasture and the two of you would lie in the bed of his trunk with pillows and blankets while you watched the stars.

No matter the location, the two of you would just talk, learning about each other as much as possible. Trying to make each other smile as much as possible.

"You have a great smile, you should show it more," you told Rhett, secretly enjoying how the tips of his ears were turning pink at your compliment.

"You make that easy," He muttered, slyly grinning at how your nose scrunched up, a tall tale sign that you were flustered.

It was true. Life was a lot easier to swallow when you were around. You were the highlight of his day and he counted down the minutes until he could see you again.

Rhett never thought about married life until you came along. He always assumed that wasn't for him, given his numerous failed attempts at being in a relationship. After Maria, he assumed that it just wasn't in him.

Perhaps there wasn't something wrong with him. Perhaps he had just been with the wrong people.

Because he could envision that life with you so clearly. It was easy to imagine with you.

It was why Rhett saw red when he walked into the bar one night to see Billy Tillerson talking to you at the bar.

That shithead wasn't paying any attention to what you were saying, he was too busy staring at your chest.

At first, Rhett wanted to go over there and punch him. But then that would put you at risk of getting hurt. As much as Rhett would love to give Billy a broken nose, he didn't want to hurt you.

So he opted for the next best thing.

"Hey Rhe-" your words turned into a shriek upon Rhett picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing.

"Back off Tillerson," Rhett spat as he carried you out of the bar, ignoring your demands for him to put you down.

"What the hell was that about?!" You asked once your feet were back on the ground. You two were outside the bar now, ignoring the strange looks from the other bar patrons.

"Did you see how he was looking at ya? He didn't want to actually talk to ya," Rhett huffed.

"I figured that out within two minutes. But I was handling him just fine!" You placed your hands on your hips, matching Rhett's stance.

"I don't like him being around ya."

"And who are you to tell me who I can and can't be with?" It wasn't that you wanted to be around that Tillerson. Moreso you wanted Rhett to define what you two were. This dance you two had started had been going on for about a month now. It could end one of two ways: you and Rhett happy or you heartbroken. You'd rather know the ending now.

Rhett knew that too. Which was why he took a deep breath and stepped forward.

"I'm your future husband, and probably, father of your future children." His voice was soft. Ironic, considering his words took the air out of your lungs.

"Probably?" Was all you could get out.

"I mean....we haven't talked about kids yet," He said, a sheepish look mixing with his flushed cheeks. His cerulean eyes that you thought about every night before you went to sleep were now looking everywhere except you.

"You haven't even kissed me yet, Rhett."

“I mean….I can fix that right now,” He ran a hand through his dark blonde locks, attempting to display some confidence after his whisky-fueled confession, “If-if you want.”

It was clear as day that he was nervous. Not that you mind. You had heard the stories, had been given all the warnings from your friends about Rhett Abbott. That he was only interested in three things: rodeos, drinking, and fucking. That he only looked for something quick that would satisfy his needs that night, leaving in the morning to never talk to you again.

But that’s not what happened when you met him. You were careful to keep your guard up, not that it was up for very long. Rhett broke down your walls, washed away all your hesitation with his attentiveness and sweetness he showered you in. When you spoke, he didn’t just listen. He hung onto your every word, like a child desperate to hear the end of their bedtime story before sleep took over.

For a while, you knew that he actually liked you. Knew that if you did take him into your bedroom, he wouldn’t run away before you woke up. But knowing and seeing it in action were two different things. And in the back of your mind, a seed of doubt still sprouted.

Until now.

“I was beginning to think you never would,” You smirked.

Now it was your turn to knock the air out of Rhett’s lungs just by a few words.

“Minx,” was all he could get out before he captured your lips in a bruising kiss. You could taste the remnants of whisky on his lips. The way his large hands were able to cup not just your jaw, but nearly your whole neck made you feel safe and secure. In that moment, nothing else mattered; not the bright neon lights that lit up the bar sign, or the onlookers telling you to get a room. All that mattered was that Rhett’s lips were soft and they were on yours.

“How many kids ya want?” He asked after you two parted for some much needed oxygen.

At first his words confused you, then you couldn’t help but chuckle when you made the connection, “At least three. Maybe four. Depends on how I feel when we get to our third one. You’re going to kiss me again, right?”

And Rhett was never one to refuse his lady.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

@rhettabbotts @mothdruid @sebsxphia @theharddeck @sovereign-lights @mxgyver

#my writing #rhett abbott #rhett abbot x reader #Lewis Pullman #Outer Range #rhett abbott x reader #rhett abbott x you #rhett abbott imagine #rhett abbott fic #rhett abbott x y/n #rhett abbott x female reader

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gentlebeardsbarngrill · 10 months ago

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PoC and queer people, and queers of color are not out here being mad at everyone for no reason. Did you guys think it was just a group of cishet white men who probably don’t even watch the show? We have begged all these years for aid, but it’s dystopian-like to see you guys come together and pay over $21 thousand for a billboard within a few hours. The “charities” aren’t listed, and even then seeing fans tell the organizers use all the money for advertisements is horrifying to say the least. Even more so adding on the creator is a Zionist and antiBlack, which again White people arent gonna give a shit about as they continue to show so in all fandoms. It’s the people affected that calls this guy out, and y’all don’t listen. Do what you want, but stop diminishing our voices as the “angry crowd” have some damn compassion

CW: Racism, Anti-Semitism, Zionism, This is a save space ship so please do not read if you don't have the spoons because there's heavy shit in here today. ------ Hi friend! First of all, I want to say thank you so much for reaching out and giving me some more information! Personally, I don't think what you're being mad about is "for no reason". For me, that's not where the issue lies, and perhaps you could provide me with some further insight. So far, the only kinds of responses to this campaign that I've encountered that are negative have been "Taika is a Zionist", and I have not encountered that "queers of color " we're having a problem. Now, that could be that I just haven't seen them and now that my reach is out a little further it's coming up-- which is great, I want to have a conversation about it. I am newer to the fandom so it's possible I just haven't been around for a lot of this in the past, I admit that. I would be more than happy to hear more about what it is that "Queers of Color" have a problem with regarding the show.

------

In regards to "Even more so adding on the creator (I'm assuming you're referring to Taika here as opposed to David Jenkins?) is a Zionist and antiBlack, which again White people arent gonna give a shit about as they continue to show so in all fandoms."

So, I can see why you feel that way. I've heard a lot from many people of color who feel as if they aren't being considered in a lot of fandoms (not specifically this one but general scifi , fantasy, etc). I am white, so I know that no matter what my background is culturally, I cannot understand the full extent of what our friends of color go through so I try to amplify the voices of those people when they bring information to the table. I do think this fandom cares, and would love to hear more if you're willing to provide it.

My First Question is, where is the narrative coming from that Taika is AntiBlack? He's of Te Whānau-ā-Apanui, an indigenous person, with jewish heritage. I did some googling (yes I realise that's not the most efficient or accurate tool, but I did try to find independant sources). The thing that sticks out most to me is regarding the 2020 following the death of George Floyd. Here is one of the articles I referenced:

Taika's tweet was "Watch the whole thing. Eloquent. Clear. Everyone is angry but there is a way to direct that anger." in response to Killer Mike's message asking “not burn your own house down” and instead “fortify your own house.” and to "Plot, plan, strategize, and organize" as he said in the video.

Now, I see a lot of reactions from people of color specifically stating "don't police my anger" and that is a 100% valid take. No one should be telling you how to channel your anger when as a society you are being murdered and you have to fight back to survive. I do think that everyone still has a lot to learn.

I am going to give you a little background on myself (not to toot my own horn, but to provide a little perspective on how much we are still learning). I am whiteyest white person there is, like I go outside and my skin practically lights on fire from my irish/eastern european ancestry, but I also have a black biological grandmother from Guayana who had ancestry back to many years before when slaves were brought over during the Atlantic Slave Trade. So growing up, even though I was white, I thought I had it all figured out on racism because my grandma was black. The narratives taught in US schools were that "racism was in the past" because schools had been white washed, and I grew up in Northern Virginia, where it was supposed to be "multicultural center of the country" since we were so close to DC. Over time, I started finding out from friends of color and indigenous friends that they were still experiencing racism towards them. I never knew, because I wouldn't have, it wasn't faced towards me. And I knew some-- but I didn't know enough even then 15 years ago. Roll around to 2010-12ish, several things occurred that made "black face" become more prominent and I had more discussions with my friends about what kind of racism they dealt with in their day to day lives. I used to color my arms when I was a kid with a brown marker because I wanted to look like my grandma. I found out at the ripe old age of 24 that was basically black face for a lot of people and that it wasn't ok.

2020 came, and George Floyd, and Brianna Taylor, Stephan Clark, Botham Jean, Freddie Gray and so many others were murdered by police and white supremacist shitwads, and suddenly, not just me but so many more white people started to get the slightest inkling of just HOW BAD it really was for black people in this country. That was the year honestly I started to question the systems of our government, and all the racial inequalities that I THOUGHT I had understood before.

Our government, our society culturally has tried its best to sweep racial inequality under the rug, and pretend like "racism is gone" when we still have systems built on racism, that benefit from racist systems of the past. (This is why it's so important that we keep fighting against people who want to white wash history books in a lot of the southern states like FL and TX) Is that an excuse? Of course not. But I believe in change whole-heartedly, and while I am still ashamed of the vast ignorance I had for so many years, and worry about the ignorance I still don't know I'm ignorant of, I do try to be better. I am trying to take that shame and continue to learn and chip away at my ignorance not only through others but on my own. I am not asking for you to pity, or to forgive me or any other white person for that kind of ignorance, what I'm doing here is trying to make a safe space to share and so you can see that people can actively change. Is it enough? Probably not, but it's a start.

-- Now, All that to say, regarding Taika... that tweet from 2020, as I said, quite a lot of people (of all colors) had their eyes opened that year to some pretty systemic racist horrors, and if that is the tweet that sparked the idea that Taika is "Anti-Black" I think, while you don't have to forgive him, it would be something to consider that quite a lot of people were well intending during that time but did not fully comprehend exactly how bad it was. I would however, if you'd be willing to chat with me in DMs about it, or send another ask, like to hear more if there was more evidence of it somewhere I didn't see.

-------- In regards to Taika being a Zionist... which I have heard from others quoting the letter he signed asking for the release of hostages in Gaza. I'm including a link to a copy of the letter just so people can read it, I realize the hollywood reporter isn't an amazing source, but it has the letter included, so thats why. Once again, when that letter came out back in October, quite a lot of people didn't actually know what was going on in Gaza.

We all heard brief things in our day to day news feed, but just like how everything is on the internet right now, information isn't "complete" it's broken up in fragments and it takes a really long time to compile them. There is misinformation galore, and it's incredibly easy to not hear the entire story. I know in October, I was dealing with health issues and I was completely just not paying attention what was going on (we all have our lives and as much as I'd like to say we can all be omniscient and fully present for all things it's truly not a reasonable expectation of any human being nor should it be, the world is a very large place, and we should help where we can but there's a limitation on human ability).

In my opinion, as someone who has tried a lot of their life to "do the right thing" and made a lot of mistakes and tried to learn from them, that letter, and Taika signing it seemed like a "Good intentions" situation again, hoping that he could help in someway. Am I making excuses for him? No, I'm expressing my perspective. I'm not here to change your opinion on him, I'm here to express why fans are still fighting for this show. Do you have other resources regarding his support of zionism?

What concerns me though as a whole, is people throwing 'Zionist' around very liberally these days. I am not an expert on the situation and I don't claim to be. However, growing up in DC when 9/11 happened, I can tell you that labels like that can get dangerous very VERY quickly. Muslim families I grew up with had their windows shattered with bricks on the night of 9/11 (and labeled terrorists) despite being pillars in the community and never having hurt a soul.

Right now, Zionist is a word that is being used to label someone in a very intense way, and it invokes dangerous responses in people. I do believe we really need to make sure we are labeling these situations properly because those kinds of labels CAN and WILL get out of hand very quickly and get people hurt.

I'm going to link to this article from the Anne Frank house to define Zionism. I am also going to list this article from the American Jewish Committee regarding racism and anti-semitism. Once again I'm not an expert on the situation going on in Gaza, and I'm happy to hear more regarding it.

-----------

In regards to your comments on the charities: There are some charities listed in a few places, they just aren't all part of the advertising campaign one:

The main one for Rainbow Youth is here: The Renew As a Crew Fundraiser (not the advertising one) https://ry-community.raisely.com/renewasacrew/ **The Advertising Campaign / Charities**

You mentioned in your ask "even then seeing fans tell the organisers use all the money for advertisements is horrifying to say the least".

I can understand why that would be horrifying to someone who is feeling raw the way that you are. It's completely valid. I would like to offer up the perspective that some people are very invested in this show for their own reasons (some people have never felt represented in major networks) and they too are allowed to feel excited and say things that might be in their own best interest. We are all allowed those opinions, and I think the more we shame people for wanting something, the less discussion we're going to be able to have. That said, I think the @renewasacrew leadership team made a good decision to stick to their original $10K for advertising, and the rest going to charity because of the confusion. It does the most good, and still allows the original intent -- to show the world how much Our Flag Means Death means to many people.

In regards to which charities they are going to -- I had seen somewhere that they were going to a charity Samba and Vico Ortiz had chosen but I asked the leadership team on twitter and this is what they responded with (which I think is fair, they're trying to take their time to make a good decision with the help of everyone involved).

-------------------

I would also like to point out however, that we do have the ability to care about more than one thing at once. One thing that makes life worth living is the little things that make us smile. I have a lot of stuff at home that makes life rough, and my escape is this gay pirate show, and this beautiful, compassionate community that supports it.

We are allowed to have things that we love as well as the things we fight for. I do a lot of my activism on facebook and in person, I don't bring it to tumblr much because this is the safe space for a lot of people to dream and have dreams. It is important for everyone's mental health to step away from the realities of life sometimes (which I know some people like those in Gaza or Ukraine can't do) or else we all burn out and can't help anymore.

I hope this helps a bit in showing you we do care about queers of color, and we do want to know more how we can help, and we are willing to listen. There's a lot of compassion in this community, and I think a lot of people would be willing to talk about it if things are done in a safe space. I do apologize that you feel like we've "diminished" your voices, that was not the intention. If you would like to use that voice to provide more examples and your views I'm happy to listen. I do think we need to allow people to enjoy things too though, because life's not worth living otherwise. Nothing is perfect, but we continue to try and improve.

I would also like to recommend that if the OFMD fandom renewal campaign is bothering folks, please feel free to block us. We don't want to make anyone feel bad, but we also want to express ourselves in a healthy manner. Much love your way Anon.

#ofmd #our flag means death #asks #anon asks

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statementlou · 7 months ago

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Maybe you can help me understand. The LATAM promo content has been great in my opinion in quantity and quality. Louis looks relaxed and his answers show thought, humility and maturity, and with his usual sass and humor. This is the most he has shared of himself since his solo career started.

So it's become a real surprise when I've read a few anons write to blogs saying they don't like the person Louis has become, and they like 1D Louis. Another said that they think his persona has gotten "progressively worse and worse". And I'm like, did you not see the years and years of being pushed aside, of being told he had a bad voice, of no support from radio, of stunts, etc fighting for his career. And did they not watch or read his interviews?? So many interviewers during this past week have complimented Louis.

Louis can never win.

I agree, it can really feel like people are just not actually seeing the same content as we are and it's hard not to feel like some of this is that they AREN'T seeing it, like people go way too much off blogs' (often very wild) interpretations of what Louis says and how he says it rather than just listening to him talk or watching him interact with fans. Or maybe it's that they have been believing in these made up versions of him when he hasn't been around for a minute and now that actual Louis reappears it doesn't match up with those ideas and they feel shocked and upset. But if people are saying he isn't the same as he was in 1D well, it's hard not feel like they were NEVER paying attention and are just talking about the made up image of him that was sold by 1DHQ (or saying they don't like him unless he's twinky and flamboyant.) Louis said he "were a lot sweeter back then" and maybe so but in all the core ways, I think he's just the same as he has always been. If people don't like how that looks now that's their right, but he's not gonna be 19 again and he's fought hard to get to decide for himself what image he wants to project and has said over and over that he won't be going back to the 1D version of that, so maybe go find someone else to follow, IDK. Me, I'll just be over here sitting back and admiring what he's like now. I think he's the same as every time he does promo (charming, chill, funny, introspective and smart and willing to share little glimpses of emotional honesty)! It's been a while since he's done so much promo and with so much content to enjoy just now I hope more people will tune into that rather than interpretations of it and discover that for themselves. I am gonna disagree with you about one thing though: Louis CAN and IS winning, 100%, right now in front of our very fucking eyes!!! So who cares about the haters :)

#maybe if you just sit back and admire what Louis is like you'll chill out anons!#anyway I mean... unfollow unfollow unfollow blacklist etc forget the haters who needs to see all that #the only reason I was ranting about bad opinions I don't usually SEE the other day #is because MY POST was getting tons of notes with people's terrible takes so I woke up to an activity feed full of Opinions

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waitmyturtles · 9 months ago

Text

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: Secret Crush On You (SCOY) Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I offer my thoughts on the importance of Saint Suppapong's and Cheewin Thanamin's Secret Crush on You in the annals of Thai BL history.]

I offer a very hearty THANK YOU to my dear friends @lurkingshan and @bengiyo for reviewing this draft before publication!

Well! A VERY belated happy new year from the OGMMTVC shores! I have allowed myself a lengthy onboarding back to the pattern of watching older Thai BLs due to many life circumstances around the 2023 holidays.

But I do still stay on my grind: while I was slowly watching and re-watching SCOY over the last month, I've added two current shows to the list, which I'll explain about later, and I've also taken up reading an incredibly important book to this project, Dr. Thomas Baudinette's ethnographic study, Boys Love Media in Thailand, which is giving me tremendous insight and history into the development of the Thai BL genre from direct reporting in Asia. In other words, the OGMMTVC project is still cooking along -- I'll plan to post about the book when my current watchlist is at a pause, while current shows on the list are airing.

All that being said, I'm here today to report on my watch of 2022's Secret Crush on You. Here's a little outline to keep me organized:

1) A quick reminder of how SCOY got on the OGMMTVC list, 2) A thematic hit list of why SCOY belongs on the list, and why it's so important for the history of Thai BL, and 3) A few personal takes on the show.

SCOY got on the OGMMTVC list way back in May 2023, in the comments of my glowing review of the second season of Make It Right, suggested by @absolutebl Sensei themself. SCOY is directed by Cheewin Thanamin, who had co-directed MIR and MIR2 along with New Siwaj. (He is also, famously AND infamously, the director of the recent shows Playboyy and Middleman's Love, as well as many other shows, including YYY, Why R U, and more.)

At the time of my watch of MIR2, I reveled in the fabulous endings of TeeFuse and FrameBook, the holistically loving and embracing relationships of those two couples, who were fearlessly and openly queer and committed to each other; and I compared those endings to that of another fabulous Cheewin show, 2023's Bed Friend, which also ended glowingly, after a hell of a traumatic journey, for the dear mains, KingUea.

SCOY, from a growth perspective, fits between the high school world of MIR and the working adult world of Bed Friend, showcasing Toh, the stalker-shy university junior outcast; Nuea, the popular, athletic, and gorgeous university senior, and their respective groups of friends, who, to a tee, end up with each other. In the comments of my MIR2 review, @absolutebl wrote,

"...there is a case to be made that Cheewin is having a conversation with us[,] the culmination of which is actually SCOY. It feels like everything in his career was leading to that show[.]"

I believe this is absolutely right. While the public commentary on SCOY was that the first few episodes would be hard to digest -- for me, it took until episode *9* to feel comfortable enough to ride the SCOY train -- the amount of internal and external-to-BL themes that SCOY carries within it marks it as an incredibly important show for the annals of Thai BL history.

I also want to note that, after SCOY, Cheewin's War of Y also airs in 2022, as a macro commentary on the BL industry. Without having seen War of Y yet -- I think it makes sense, and is quite fitting, that there may be similar themes between these two shows as to what SCOY was addressing by way of personal and industry-related psychologies.

I'll get into those themes in a second, but as so many of you know as well: this was also the first production for Saint Suppapong's agency, Idol Factory, featuring (for 2022) a slate of incredible new QL actors and actresses who have already made a fast and deep impact on the genre (...fast and deep impact huh huh ANYWAY).

Putting ourselves into Saint's shoes -- a man well familiar with the pitfalls of the BL industry, vis à vis his associations with his previous PerthSaint and ZeeSaint ships -- I can make a safe assumption that he approached the production of SCOY with the intent to make a groundbreaking show, and to approach the fan service side of the BL industry with as much consciousness for his actors as possible. While I'm not watching Idol Factory's latest show, The Sign, I am noting that The Sign's two stars, Billy Patchanon (of SCOY) and Babe Tanatat are very good at their fan service offerings. (Heng in this video, omg.) But all that being said, the unfortunate incident last year of the untimely revelation of Seng Wichai's and Freen Sarocha's relationship indicates that Idol Factory is also not immune to the controversies and pitfalls of the BL and shipping industries.

What I particularly loved about SCOY -- and why I agree with @absolutebl and many BL fandom veterans that it belongs on the OGMMTVC list -- is that this show unabashedly insisted that all people are people, all humans are equitably humans, and all humans deserve the same emotional and social respect as anyone else. It punched social expectations of the "winners" and "losers" down to the ground to offer nuanced narratives of most of its characters.

We see Toh (Seng Wichai) and his group of friends repeatedly put down and bullied. We see Toh and Jao kicked to the ground for their looks and presentations. We see popular Nuea (Billy) and Sky (Heng Asavarid) suffering from jealousy, insecurity, unrequited love and desire. We see Nuea and Sky objectified. We see Daisy question themself for their femme identity, and we see Daisy's group of friends become so moved and emotional about this change as to both uplift Daisy's preferences and to support them in whatever changes they want to make.

We also see -- for only the second time on the OGMMTVC list, and surely in the biggest BL up til 2022 -- a prominent femme side character in Daisy, one who is very much pursued by a cis male suitor in Touch. (The first time we see such a prominent femme character on the OGMMTVC syllabus is, again, in Cheewin's Make It Right 2, in the character of Yok, who was very out and very gay throughout that season.)

I'm going to examine this more in just a bit, but I also want to note, in a fabulous conversation I had with @bengiyo about SCOY, that this show also somewhat upends social expectations of who exactly gets bullied in a "typical" school setting. We do very much see Toh and his friend group get attacked. We see that friend group come together in support of each other. But we also see them very much accepted, as they are, by the older, more popular friend group.

There are many more examples of these themes, but in any case:

These were nuanced, layered, and sophisticated depictions of humanity, all for a show within the BL genre that had started its journey, way back in 2014, in demanding clear seme/uke dynamics and male/female characteristic assumptions between main couples. SCOY clearly took great pains to examine and upend these assumptions. In particular, the hot tub conversation in episode 9 had me going wild; a conversation that has become legendary as it was the first time (and not the last!) that a character of Billy Patchanon's stated that he was verse:

By the time we get to 2022, I love what this conversation signifies for Thai BL. From SOTUS's Kongpob saying that he'll make Arthit his wife; to Pat clarifying to BOTH Pran AND Phupha, "I'm not your wife" -- and, now in SCOY, to Nuea being like, "oh, roles? Yeah, whateves, I'm down," is such a refreshing spin to the conversation about the demands that the genre, AND society, place on hulking cis-presenting men like Nuea/Billy.

Of course, the biggest upending to any assumptions that viewers (including myself) may have had about the dynamics between the two main couples of NueaToh and SkyJao was in seeing how deeply insecure both Nuea and Sky were of the stability of their relationships with their boyfriends in Toh and Jao. Nuea and Sky both recognized that it was literally society itself -- and the very deep internal impacts that society could have on the psyches of the nerdy Toh and Jao -- that could threaten the sanctity of Nuea's and Sky's relationships.

Nuea and Sky weren't relying or assuming on their good looks or popularity ranks to win Toh and Jao over. Nuea and Sky were very much in love with these two men, and both wanted to have holistically complete and committed relationships with their boyfriends. And Nuea and Sky WORKED for these relationships, and feared the worst, often, if an internal obstacle (like Jao's insecurity) or external obstacle (like the girls in pursuit of Nuea) got in their way.

@bengiyo, in reference to my conversation with him earlier, mentioned a social shade to all of this that I found fascinating. He noted that this show did NOT interrogate the "weirdness" of Toh and his friend group. I'm actually going to criticize that just a touch in a bit, because I would have liked more background context into Toh, myself. However, Ben makes an important point about this, because he noted to me that majority society WOULD interrogate the origins of Toh's "weirdness" -- and would NOT interrogate the popularity, good looks, and success of Nuea and his group, because majority society would well assume that Nuea and his group are... "normal."

I find these instinctual inclinations to be FASCINATING to ponder, and I really think SCOY did a wonderful job in allowing us as viewers an "in" to a loving alternate reality that those who are considered "weird" in this world deserve a fair and equitable shot at love and acceptance from all corners. Ben noted for me that MUCH more often in majority society, that being queer makes someone vastly unpopular. (Ben also noted for me that what SCOY posits for Nuea and Sky by way of their queer presentations against their popular standings would likely have led to them being ostracized in real life.)

I want to note that this loving alternate reality for the unpopular is almost exactly similar to another fictional environment created by Cheewin in Make It Right -- which prompted an early and memorable conversation between Ben and me early in this project. (Thank you so much to @bengiyo for giving me time and space to read and comment on this SCOY piece.)

I want to posit -- again, without having seen War of Y -- that all of this is fascinating territory for Idol Factory, in its first show, to tread by way of humanizing IF's gloriously good-looking talent in Billy, Heng, and others. I'll know more by way of comparison when I actually watch War of Y -- but I think SCOY does a FABULOUS job in slowly leading viewers to contemplate our assumptions about how "easy" it might be to be a good-looking and/or athletic person in society. Insecurity and instability are common characteristics among all of us. SCOY very decidedly skewers any assumptions that viewers, and society, may have about the "transcendent" nature of the show's fictional "celebrities" to bring all of its characters down to a more common and equitable human level.

By a long shot, these themes are the ones that I loved absolutely the most about SCOY. I have a few personal takes on the show that I'll share in just a moment, but one more shout of celebration that I'd like to offer to SCOY is the following:

Of all the excellent acting in this show -- from Billy, to Heng, to the utterly DELIGHTFUL Looknam Orntara as Som, to the fabulous Surprise Pittikorn as a conflicted and insecure Jao -- let me offer all the flowers to

Seng Wichai, who had me CRINGING, OMG, *CRINGING*, throughout most of SCOY.

I hope this man won AWARDS for this role. All of my feelings towards the character of Toh aside -- Seng Wichai absolutely BODIED this role. I was SQUIRMING during the first three quarters of this series. God, he NAILED every last characteristic that would make a person like Toh so interpretively painful and pitiful. That Seng left Idol Factory last year, before his relationship with Freen was exposed, is, I think, a huge loss for IF. I know War of Y is chaotic, but I actually can't wait to watch it simply to see another side of Seng's acting.

For Seng's Toh to be pursued so intensely by Nuea -- and for Toh to be so Toh throughout that pursuit -- I truly can't think of a past BL actor from the past OGMMTVC dramas that could have done a better and more nuanced job than Seng Wichai to just remain so COMMITTED to Toh's modus operandi of stalking and collecting, especially so DEEP into the 14-episode run.

I will admire Seng's performance endlessly. My very own personal take on SCOY -- which I do not want to detract from its importance in the BL genre annals -- was that I think some of Cheewin's typical chaotic flourishes did not quite comport with the complicated emotionality that SCOY otherwise served.

At the end of the series, we meet Toh's parents in rural Suphanburi -- but we don't get a sense throughout the series of why Toh decides to pursue Nuea only from afar, in stalker-like actions, for so very long. Again, this stalker behavior is only presented as an MO -- and as @bengiyo noted to me, that was likely on purpose, as a means of showing that Toh's friend group would be accepting of each other NO MATTER their unique characteristics.

We also have to wait a VERY long time in the series for Toh to be held accountable for his stalking actions, as he even continues to collect items well into his relationship with Nuea. The flip side of this is an empathic one -- he's collecting the items out of an assumption, on his end, that his relationship with Nuea WILL end. However, it's made clear that Toh had no intention to ever tell Nuea of this side of Toh's behavior.

There were other moments in the show that tonally confused me, particularly in episode 5, the first time that the group goes to the beach, where Toh is in the hotel room with Nuea for the first time, and is both overtly confident that he might get it on with Nuea, but also seems reluctant to actually pursue it once Nuea starts offering hints. I worked this out with @lurkingshan (thank you, friend!) that Toh was demonstrating a brave face and fantasy to start, but was surprised when Nuea actually reciprocated the consideration. This happened a couple of times throughout the show, and Shan's assessment makes absolute sense -- I think I could have used some language clarity around those scenes myself, particularly when Toh was talking postgame with his friends after those moments, that he was surprised by Nuea's acceptance. But, @lurkingshan -- your assessment of the pattern holds, and I understand it.

Once I finished the series, I read @absolutebl's 2022 review of SCOY, and ABL -- I totally understand your perspective. I get the pull between adoration and cringe for this show. A stalker premise is HEAVY. It didn't help, in that heaviness, to have no past context to Toh's behavior, coupled with Seng's incredible cringy performance.

If another director without as many chaotic tendencies could have directed this show -- I think we would have gotten a more complete and contextual emotionality to the show that would have helped Toh's and Nuea's relationship be portrayed as fully full-circle.

I think this is enough of a quibble that'll keep me from easily rewatching SCOY. But, towards the end of the series (@twig-tea, YOU WERE RIGHT!) -- especially from episode 9 onwards -- I felt that I finally and truly understood where this show was going, and what it was about, and I felt endeared to it.

I think many in the fandom will agree that SkyJao was actually the couple that interpreted, much more clearly, the impact of social pressures and insecurities on a relationship, and for that, I will forever shout

SKYJAO! SKYJAO! SKYJAO!

as one of my absolute favorite side pairings of all time.

SCOY was a hard watch for me because of the interruptions of the holidays, of life, and because I've gotten a little less patient with Cheewin's chaos (...I dropped Playboyy, omg, I have to admit), despite my utter admiration for his work on Make It Right and Bed Friend.

But the difficulties I had in watching it should not take away from honoring this show as a hell of an important one. It makes me admire Saint Suppapong to no end for spending his own damn money towards the pursuit of better BLs. And the acting in SCOY was truly FANTASTIC. Despite my own personal reservations, I cannot recommend SCOY highly enough -- because watching it, and enjoying it, is truly a perfect demarcation to understand how far Thai BLs had gotten to its airing moment in 2022.

[OKAY! As I mentioned above, this project has gotten even richer with the addition of my current reading of Dr. Thomas Baudinette's Boys Love Media in Thailand -- I look forward to offering my thoughts on that book after my watch project is over.

I have added a few shows to the watchlist! The recently-aired Last Twilight makes it on as a show that centered disability vis à vis BL for the first time, and Cherry Magic Thailand makes it on as Thailand's first major adaptation of a Japanese manga and dorama. I've also added 23.5, GMMTV's first GL, to the list, although the premiere date continues to be up in the air for that show.

AS WELL! An actual Japanese BL makes it on the list, ha ha! I'm obsessed with this because I'm learning from Baudinette about the Japanese roots of Thai BL. I am in LOVE with Ossan's Love Returns, and it happily features a cameo by none other than Loong Jim and Wen, who hilariously (AND SMARTLY, go get yer money, guys) franchised Moonlight Chicken to Japan. Earth Pirapat and Mix Sahaphap make the most adorable cameo, and they will be inhabiting Haruta's and Maki's roles when the Thai version of Ossan's Love starts filming later this year.

FINALLY! My own personally long-awaited KinnPorsche (OOOO-WEEEEE!) rewatch is up next, but I'm taking a beat to catch up on Cooking Crush. I can't wait for my late-night liveblogs on KP, though -- they're coming soon!

Here's the status of the list -- as always, Tumblr's web editor is NOT nice to this list, so please mosey over to this link for your very latest updates on the project!

1) The Love of Siam (2007) (movie) (review here) 2) My Bromance (2014) (movie) (review here) 3) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 4) Gay OK Bangkok Season 1 (2016) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 5) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 6) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 7) Gay OK Bangkok Season 2 (2017) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 8) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 9) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 10) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 11) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 12) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 13) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 14) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 15) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 16) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (OffGun BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (no review) 17) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 18) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (a non-BL and an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 19) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 20) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) (review here) (and notes on my UWMA rewatch here) 21) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (review here) 22) I Told Sunset About You (2020) (review here) 23) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) (review here) 24) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) (review here) 25) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 26) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (re-review here) 27) Lovely Writer (2021) (review here) 28) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) (review here) 29) I Promised You the Moon (2021) (review here) 30) Not Me (2021-2022) (review here) 31) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 32) 55:15 Never Too Late (2021-2022) (not a BL, but a GMMTV drama that features a macro BL storyline about shipper culture and the BL industry) (review here) 33) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch (Links to the BBS OGMMTVC Meta Series are here: preamble here, part 1, part 2, part 3a, part 3b, and part 4) 34) Secret Crush On You (2022) 35) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 36) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For the Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist (watching)

...interrupting the OGMMTVC list here to watch War of Y (2022) in chronology and to decide if it gets listed...

37) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 38) The Eclipse OGMMTVC Rewatch to Reexamine the Start of “Genre BLs” and Internalized/Externalized Homophobia in GMMTV Shows 39) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 40) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 41) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 42) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) 43 La Pluie (2023) (review coming) 44) Be My Favorite (2023) (tag here) (I’m including this for BMF’s sophisticated commentary on Krist’s career past as a BL icon) 45) Wedding Plan (2023) (Recommended as an important trajectory in the course of MAME’s work and influence from TharnType) 46) Only Friends (2023) (tag here) (not technically a BL, but it certainly became one in the end) 47) Last Twilight (2023-24) (tag here) (on the list as Thailand’s first major BL to center disability, successfully or otherwise) 48) Cherry Magic Thailand (2023-24) (tag here) (on the list as the first major Japanese-to-Thai drama adaptation, featuring the comeback of TayNew) 49) Ossan’s Love Returns (2024) (adding for the EarthMix cameo and the eventual Thai remake) 50) 23.5 (2024)]

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