#but i've got a really bad taste in my mouth for everyone involved now

[recallthename]

okay but how can anyone do anything other than hate the barbie movie for spawning what is currently happening?

[justjasper]

60 Alkaline Trio Lyrics Writing Prompts

What do I do with these? Write something inspired by one of them! Get your followers to send you a prompt for you to write for!

Themes: love, death, substance abuse, suicide, violence

Kiss You to Death

1. I don't care if we fuck or we talk or we cry

Every Thug Needs a Lady

2. Right now you're all that I recognise

Over and Out

3. Please tell my wife I loved her more than life itself

This Could Be Love

4. I've got some mad ideas involving you and me

Cringe

5. You were the last good thing I ever saw

Pocket Knife

6. I've been waiting here so long // For someone just like me

Clavicle

7. I want to wake up naked next to you // Kissing the curve of your clavicle

Mr Chainsaw

8. Found out recently that you were leaving // For good I hope, I softly tell my ceiling

You're Dead

9. But I now have nothing but your heartbeat in my head

Enjoy Your Day

10. I hope he bought you roses

Steamer Trunk

11. I love you so I told you, but it didn't matter much

Dead on the Floor

12. We felt so good together // It was way too good to be

Continental

13. Ran out of time, no kiss goodbye

One Last Dance

14. Beyond repair, the damage that I did

Kick Rocks

15. You had nowhere to go, so you came right back here

Sorry About That

16. Maybe I just set aside the fact that you were broken-hearted

Midnight Blue

17. I had nobody but you

This is Getting Over You

18. Today I woke up younger than I've been in years

Bleeder

19. My heart bleeds for what you never did

Calling All Skeletons

20. I've come to love your disappearing act // Do one more pretty please

Blue in the Face

21. I don't dream since I quit sleeping // And I haven't slept since I met you

Radio

22. I've got a big fat fucking bone to pick with you, my darling

Dethbed

23. They tried everything and everyone but you

One Hundred Stories

24. I'm dying just to feel you breathe

My Friend Peter

25. I don't care who you've been sleeping with these days

Sweet Vampires

26. This love-hate is making me cry

I Lied My Face Off

27. It's never fine when you go away

Love Love, Kiss Kiss

28. Do you curse the happy couple?

Crawl

29. Never had a drink that I didn't like // Got a taste of you, threw up all night

Cooking Wine

30. Sorry I'm late, I was out spoiling my liver

Off the Map

31. I'm like a junkie for your smart mouth

San Francisco

32. And I was drinking you goodbye

Fine

33. It's ironic that I drink to make my insides stop hurting

I'm Dying Tomorrow

34. Take lots of pills, commit irreversible sins

Back to Hell

35. Like the pills in your hand, I'll never let you down

This Addiction

36. I once tried to kick this addiction // I swear I'll never kick again

Trouble Breathing

37. You said tonight is a wonderful night to die

While You're Waiting

38. I'm not crying wolf, you whisper // I'm really dead this time

Sadie

39. Play dead dear, it's your only hope of pulling through

Only Love

40. You're dying when you start thinking like that

Do You Wanna Know?

41. My spine is slipping like a fault line // If I go I'll bury us all

Eating Me Alive

42. The end of me was so beautiful

Queen of Pain

43. I've never seen scars like yours

Burn

44. Everyone learns faster on fire

Trucks and Trains

45. Some hit so hard you barely feel a thing

Is This Thing Cursed?

46. My haunted head aches so much worse

Your Neck

47. We'll do our very best to keep our appetites in check

Emma

48. Note on the bed stand signed in blood: Sincerely, never coming back

I Was A Prayer

49. To a hopeless cause I sold my soul

Hell Yes

50. You watched all my dreams come apart at the seams

Take Lots With Alcohol

51. I have no desire to see through my own eyes any more

Trouble Breathing

52. Cause things they never work out right

Help Me

53. You left all the lights burning but nobody's home

Prevent This Tragedy

54. I'm begging you, stop praying for me

If You Had a Bad Time

55. If you're up to your ears in blood sweat and wasted years // I'm hoping you're going to open your throat and just scream

Balanced on a Shelf

56. A somewhat inviting very different kind of hell // To live without ever looking at yourself

Settle For Satin

57. You'll never dream again, but you can pray

Every Thug Needs a Lady

58. I needed to hear something that sounded like an answer

If We Never Go Inside

59. A train appeared in town one night // For some of us it saved our lives

Song For Julie

60. I was wrong when I said things never turn out right

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

Today is an in-service day to finish up our grades and our spreadsheets. We don't have to be in until 9:00 a.m. but I promise you I don't feel like I got the extra hour and a half of sleep. Still it is a day that seems to go by slow at first, but then when I realize how much stuff I have to do it actually ends up going by pretty fast in the end.

Yesterday was our Christmas party and I counted it a success because no one thought each other and no one threw up.

Everyone brought those nasty sugar cookies you get from Walmart that are really squishy and have about 2 inches of icing on them, and the extra dry tiny cupcakes with a mountain of pure sugar icing on top.

No one thought to bring drinks so I had to go and get some and then they're still really weren't enough. I'm really surprised with all that absolute crap to eat that it didn't end worse with kids going feral.

My Indian student brought some crazy biased and Herb bread that was cut up into little slices and of course I was the only one that ate it and I took it home because it was really good but extremely foreign tasting. Definitely open up my flavor palette to new things.

I actually got a lot of gifts this year and all the one came from first period

I was gushing over all of them and one of the kids asked: did you not get any Christmas gifts last year?

I honestly didn't. Those kids were so self involved giving anything to anybody else was just not in their frame of reference. I told him that the one year that I got the most and the best Christmas gifts was my first year teaching when I basically spent the year just trying to keep the kids from killing each other or killing me because they were so emotionally disturbed. Now of course I didn't add that last part I just said that the kids were really bad. And I have this one kid God bless him. If you look at them you cannot tell their gender they don't really care what gender you call them I'm not sure if they have figured that out yet but they're whatever they are they're okay with they just kind of I guess you could say their gender fluid and the fourth grade. They don't dress any specific gender their hair is very long and they are one of the most brilliant students and the most sarcastic that I've had. So anyway this kid pipes up and says

"Yeah the parents knew what crappy parents they were and they knew that their kids Behavior was all their own fault so of course they're going to give you a lot of gifts cuz they feel guilty.!!!"

And this is a fourth grader!!

Also though that first year I received what to this day is my favorite Christmas gift for kids. We did bilingual education a little different at that first goal to where all of the bilingual kids would be gathered in each class that I had and they would be taught with a bilingual co-teacher who was translating what I was saying for those that could not understand everything. The kids who were more advanced set in with the class but if they had a question the bilingual teacher was right there to the side so they can just go and ask her. It was different but it seemed to work pretty well.

So that year several of those bilingual kids brought me these little bags of homemade PAN DE POLVO-- which if you don't know is a Mexican cinnamon and sugar cookie that is solid but the incident you put it in your mouth it just crumbles and dissolves and is so amazingly delicious.

That year I was driving back and forth from West Texas to South Texas to visit my husband and visit friends over the holiday and I took those cookies with me and ate them all through that freezing cold 8-hour drive that I made. And I just remember how good those cookies were because they were made with so much love and that was the absolute best gift I think I have ever gotten from students.

[lifeofkaze]

Warning - rant incoming.

Having been a writer for more than a decade overall and an active one for almost two years now, there's a question that has been bugging and making me anxious over and over again, and that is:

What kills a writer? What kills the joy writing sparks in us? What makes us want to go and just stop?

And no, I'm not talking about like/reblog ratios here on Tumblr, lack of kudos on AO3, or non-existent interaction (even though these all suck in their own way).

No, what's been grinding my gears over and over and over and over again is when people are lying. You think that sounds rude? Well, so is this kind of behaviour, imho.

For the love of God, please...

... don't say you have to read an author's work when you don't mean to. And no, I don't mean "I really want to engage with what you do properly, but I'm really short on time/motivation/attention span atm but it's sitting in my drafts and I WILL get round to it". Like, that's me, all the time. The number of tbr posts sitting in my drafts is ridiculous, but anyone who knows me knows tI eventually gets around to all of them. No, I mean those people who say things like these because they feel it's expected of them and don't want to say, "Listen, it's cool what you do, but it's not my jam." And I mean, I get it, it takes a lot of courage to say that, and not everyone is mature enough to separate this from the feeling of not being liked or appreciated. BUT - as someone who's been told exactly that and gotten her hopes up of getting interaction and having people to talk about with what's really close to my heart - let me tell you, this kind of behaviour is crushing, and it rings more empty every time you hear it. You stop trusting in people when they say it, and eventually, trusting in what they say altogether. If you are not interested in someone's work, don't make them think you are.

... don't pretend to interact if you don't care. Striking the same cord, if a work doesn't appeal to you or you lost track of it, or you cba with it atm, don't act as if you read/engaged with it with generic or just plain false comments. And again, no, I don't mean generic comments are bad or anything, not at all. But trust me, people can tell if you actually read their work, or just looked at someone else's comment and rephrased it, or skimmed it and possibly got a wrong gist altogether. We can tell. We can always tell. And because we do, it leaves a very, very bitter taste in our mouths every time we get a reaction like this. Interaction should be based on excitement and involvement, not on a quid-pro-quo mentality. You should interact because you want to, and not just so the other person feels compelled to interact with and boost your own content as well. That's not how this is supposed to work. If you like a creator but don't want to engage with their content for whatever reason and are scared they won't like you anymore, just hit them up and talk to them. I've yet to meet another author who will be angry at someone reaching out.

Take inspiration, but do not steal. I know it's virtually impossible to create something so original that it's never been here before in the history of mankind. Tropes are here and beloved for a reason, and every author has that one piece/scene/line they took from something they love. Really, we all do, and inspiration is a beautiful thing to have. That being said, there is a very big and very important difference between getting inspired and copying. I cannot stress enough how upsetting and frustrating it is to a creator when their work is blatantly copied, or something is "inspired by them" that is just a carbon copy or an unsolicited addition to something they never intended to share in the first place. Just because something is put out there doesn't mean anyone has the right to go and grab it for themselves. There's obviously no means to stop anyone from doing so, but just think about how you would feel if something was done to a piece of content/character/art you created. If you want to add to someone's work or it inspires you to do something similar, take the second out of your day to contact the creator and tell them about it to see if they're okay with sharing. Often they are, and if not, they might just have another idea to make things work for both of you.

Oof. That was nice getting off my chest. If you feel offended by what I said, maybe stop and take a moment to think about why. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[iwasbored777]

Hello Queen of Marinette sugar ! I've been following you for a while and I love what you d :) So I wanted to ask your opinion on something. You've probably already answered this question before, but I wanted to know if you think Marinette and Adrien's classmates are good friends to Marinette ? I also wonder what you think of Alya reguarding her friendship with MArinette, is she such a good friend and ally to her in season 4 ? Do the bible spoilers for season 5 (which I haven't fully read) show Marinette's friends in a good light or not ? For my part, I am aware that Marinette's friends have evolved into very good people, but the lack of faith confidence they have in Marinette eerytime her crush with Adrien or Lila are involved, and the fact that they left her alone against Chloe for years before Season 1 leaves a sour taste in my mouth. Personally I would rather be buddy buddy with people like that, but certainly not friends. Am I too harsh on them ?

(ANSWER CONTAINS BIBLE SPOILERS)

I always try to explain myself over that and I always write big posts on that but I don't have to. I explained a lot about this already but if you want to know according to bible (BIG SPOILERS!!!!) Kagami will believe Lila that Marinette is a manipulator and the class will apparently vote Lila for the class president and Marinette will no longer be in that position.

I really REALLY hate it even more and I hope this will change but apart from bible spoilers, I think they are good friends and this is the only thing that's wrong about them and the only thing I don't like. I really don't and I can't pretend that I do. But otherwise I think they are good. But I'm still waiting for that apology now that Adrien confirmed that Marinette was indeed right about him.

The reason why I'm salty over this us not just my personal experience, it's not just my love for Marinette, it's my policy that if the third person is causing trouble in your relationship (whether if it's friendship or romance) that means your relationship was never that strong in the first place because if it was your friend/lover or whatever they would be on your side and no one could separate you because they wouldn't surrender that easily. I'll NEVER forget one time in school when my classmate accused me of something really bad and the whole class was angry and he said that to our teacher and my teacher didn't even blink before saying "do all of you REALLY think she would do such a thing?" and everyone got quiet and one of our classmates was like "but he (that classmate of mine) said that she did it" and my teacher was like "so what if he said that?" and OH MY GOD ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE IN MY LIFE WHO DESERVE AN AWARD! I can't explain the feeling! I thought I'll get punished but she knew me for years and she was the only person I could really trust at the time. Also another example: when that cousin of mine who ruined my childhood told my mom I did something bad to her (that cousin and I used to argue a lot so it was kind of believable) and my mom was angry and I said "how come you trust her but you don't trust me?" and my mom took a few seconds and asked "did you really do that?" and I told her the truth - that I didn't - and she took my side. And I don't know it just made me feel a lot better to know that I'm not alone even if they don't have a material proof - they have me - I am the proof.

And I'm so sick of post like "Alya is not Marinette's guardian dog" I'm not asking Alya to kill Lila nor do literally anything about it, just trust Marinette. That's all I've been asking from her and the rest of Marinette's friends. And I know everyone is like "BUT THEY LISTENED TO MARINETTE THEY GAVE A HER A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN HERSELF" and when she explained they still didn't believe a single word so that's equivalent to nothing.

So like I said before, I don't hate them and everyone makes mistakes, but this mistake is happening in every season and every time it hurts more and more because Marinette trusts them more and more with each episode but they still don't trust her fully. But otherwise they are better friends than mine were that's for sure but this is just something that I hate about them. You can't like everything about every character.

[sssn-neptune-vasilias]

Hey, you don't need to reply to this, but I just wanted to see how you were doing, given the recent news.

Long post I guess because I started typing and couldn't shut the fuck up I guess.

TL;DR Honestly, I'm sad, and I'm tired, and I'm frustrated.

I've been a fan of RoosterTeeth since my friend Mark put me on to RvB in like... 2005? I've been a fan of AH since Michael's Impossible Game RageQuit in... 2011??? RT First was the first subscription service I've ever paid for- before my PS+, before fucking anything- the second I got my credit card in 2013. I've been a RWBY fan from when the Red Trailer first aired at the end of RvB season 10 in 2012. I've been a RT/AH fan for most of my fucking life

I've referred to Kdin as "fugz" because I just thought that was her screenname at the time. Finding out what that name meant to her at the time genuinely makes me want to vomit.

I'm still processing. Shit is still coming out. The fan is still being assaulted, let alone hit.

I remember getting into RT almost two decades ago because they were just a small indie company making silly videogame videos and they genuinely felt like a family. And I know that's fucking silly to think but I was in middle school and impressionable and that was genuinely the image that they put to the public, so why wouldn't I want to believe it? I remember watching RT expand and grow and the RvB crew get even bigger and not just being voices making Halo characters move anymore but faces playing games together. I remember Gavin, Michael and Ray get involved. I donated for LazerTeam. I've watched hundreds of streams. I've watched probably thousands of hours of RT/AH content in my life.

I thought the stuff Micah spoke about would be the worsts things got, but now we're getting everything Kdin's talking about and it's so fucking upsetting and disheartening. And I'm glad she still thinks the CRWBY are good people but like... at this point does it even matter?

I've known RT/AH have been circling the drain for a while now. It's been really fucking obvious to me at least, and I'm p sure I've made a bunch of comments about it over the years. Everything I love about RT has been in a downward spiral. Michael hasn't done RageQuit in years. Gavin and Michael don't do PlayPals anymore. RvB had two abysmal seasons back to back, gen:LOCK season 2 was such an obvious attempt to put a bad taste in everyone's mouth so we'd stop talking about the show so they could cancel it without anyone missing it. RWBY shot the goodwill it'd gathered for having a solid 2 seasons in 6 and 7 (after having an absolutely garbage seasons 4 and 5) in the back of the head with Penny and Ironwood's entire characterization. I'm not at all excited about this stupid JL/RWBY crossover, and I don't think it's gonna make enough money or new RWBY fans to even break even, let alone make much of a profit. WB just dissolved fucking Cartoon Network Studios there's no fucking shot RT survive this.

As far as RWBY goes... I don't know. And at this point, I'm finding it hard to care. RWBY's been one of my favorite shows for a really long time but I kinda just wanna tear away from it so I don't have to deal with the pain of it eventually getting cancelled. I think over 90% of my current friend groups I've made because of RT/AH content. Some of my best and oldest friends I've met because or RWBY or RvB or what have you. I'm glad after all this time I finally got to go to an RTX and meet my friends and cosplay and enjoy myself. But right now... kinda wishing I wasn't an RT fan. Kinda wanting to cancel my First subscription. Kinda wanting to just be done with RWBY and everything else.

Idk, maybe I'll rebrand as a BNHA blog I guess

[scuttle-buttle]

Chapter 11

WC: 2077

Rated: E

Chapter Tags: full on angst, discussions of emotional trauma, mild depictions of blood/gore, mentions of self h*rm & su*cide, mentions of child abuse, discussions of physical disabilities, institutionalization, some dialogue & plot canon to TV show, hurt/comfort

🧠

The rest of the conference went by much like the first day did. Both you and Laszlo bought a few books for your collections. An ease had settled over your conversations with the help of Sara and John's presence; you spoke more freely with each other. You tell yourself it is not because he's going soft on you or vice versa, but rather that you have found yourself in this imaginary bubble where you happen to get on well. It's inevitable that it will pop once you’re back at school and Laszlo will revert back to his usual callous state.

Laszlo. It still felt odd to think of him like that, rather than by his title. You couldn't lie, it gave you a sort of thrill. Even in your dreams you had only called him by his honorific. Thankfully you didn't have another dream after Friday. You couldn't escape the feeling that you'd said something incriminating in front of the man in question. So you chose to pretend it didn't happen.

Monday morning came and you headed to the train station. Once again he had secured a private cabin for the journey. This time you came prepared with a book since you had yet to replace your broken phone.

"Thank you again for inviting me to this, I really enjoyed myself. It was really nice of the department to foot my travel expenses, the hotel was really fancy. I may have helped myself to a mini-bottle or two," you joked.

"There is no need to worry about the department's finances; they were not involved."

You pause. He paid for you? Laszlo did say he would take care of the arrangements; but the four-star hotel, the private compartment train tickets, the admission to the conference, and every meal? Shit, that must have been a fortune, hundreds of dollars at least.

You don't know what to say, so you settle for an awkward "oh." A moment passes before you add "I appreciate that, um, I can pay you back. Might take some time but I can."

The professor is flippant in his reply. "There is no need, it was well spent for the research and knowledge acquired." He opens his book signaling the conversation is over.

You lick your lips. Fine then, I'll just consider it payment for emotional suffering and damages of the last eight weeks.

The first few hours of the journey were spent reading one of the new books you picked up at the convention. Occasionally you would peek over the pages at the professor. He was engrossed in his own selection; sometimes he would pause to write down a thought.

Around the seventh hour of your journey you had given up on reading anymore in favor of looking at the fields outside. The silence was comforting.

Laszlo had trouble concentrating on the book in his hand. He saw you as a conundrum. One minute you could be sociable and teasing with your comments, then next you were biting at his throat with your quick wit and fierce ideals. He decides that he wants to know what made you into who you are today. Now is as good a time as any.

His eyes on you cause a tingle up your spine but you ignore it. Laszlo breaks the silence; "may I ask a personal question?"

"You just did," you answer, still peering out of the large window. He huffed once, amused. At his following silence you face him. You raise your eyebrows to signal him to go on with his question. Curiosity grows at the thought of what he intends to ask.

"Twice now you have made implications of a traumatic past," he begins.

Bubble popped.

Interrupting, you snark "is this the part where you psychoanalyze me, doc? Because trust me, I've been through enough of that." You pick at the lint on your jeans.

Laszlo tries to choose his words more carefully the next time he speaks. "What I mean to say is, the first afternoon in the classroom where you defended that student you implied you had been witness to a trauma. You then displayed signs of anger and embarrassment before leaving prematurely. Yesterday you mentioned having entered a psychiatric facility. As an alienist I can't help but find myself curious about your experiences."

You slide your eyes to meet his from across the cabin. Your face is devoid of any emotion. "We all have our demons. Even you can't argue with that."

Your jaw clenches. Everyone had warned you. They all said he would try to worm his way into your head to figure you out. All the reviews, the gossip, everything. It was a big fat 'I told you so'. You give a pitiful laugh at the situation. "You know, everyone told me that you would pull this stunt."

He seems confused by your statement. "And what is that?"

"That you'd get inside my head and try to figure me all out or whatever. You already know I googled you beforehand, what everyone says about your methods. By now I assume you've done a little research yourself. I promise you there is nothing exciting here," you scoff and point to yourself.

"You would be correct in your assumption." You chew at your cheek as he starts. "I do know some of what happened in your past. Yet I also know that society likes to dilute the truth into something either more palatable, more entertaining, for people to consume greedily. What I want to know is what you have faced. How you have not allowed the experience to overcome you so much so that your humanity is erased like the characters I lecture on."

Eyes closing of their own volition you are thrown back in time to that night so many years ago. You didn't talk about it anymore. Bitsy knew of course, but that was the extent.

Laszlo waits. He knows this is likely to push you over the edge if your history with him means anything. Quite frankly, anyone would be tossed to their limit at his interrogation had they gone through what you had. John always told him that he needed to work on his bedside manner; that he had a habit of coming on too strong in his pursuit of learning the intricacies of the human mind. But your earlier comment about being sent to a so-called 'nuthouse' rubbed him the wrong way. It left a bad taste in his mouth. He needed to know. He needed to understand.

Laszlo can imagine the reprimand that he would receive from John and Sara for this. Just as he considers apologizing for his intrusion you open your eyes.

"She was fine. None of us suspected anything was wrong. I came home from having dinner with some… boy, and she had locked herself in the bathroom. She- she must have started over the sink and moved to sit on the side of the tub. She was hunched inside it when I got the door open. I pulled her out. Blood was… everywhere." Your voice is clinical as you explain.

"After, I shut down. So I checked myself into a psych ward a few days later when I couldn't get the feel of her blood off my hands. It's slippery, you know. And it smells. You wouldn't think so but it does." You clear your throat. "I did the therapy, took the meds they prescribed, all the standard treatments. Later I started watching true crime documentaries. I'd heard about exposure therapy so I figured the more I saw the gore, the less the image of my dead roommate would bother me. And it did help. The nightmares stopped after a while, I came back to school. I was better, just not the same.” You had watched the passing landscape as you explained. Turning to face him you speak again. “That's why those pictures didn't bother me. They weren't anything I hadn't seen before."

He contemplates you. The discovery and subsequent loss of your friend in this manner would no doubt cause lingering effects to your psyche. A stain that would forever remind you. "I offer my sincerest condolences. I do not presume to know what that would be like to experience, but I am glad you sought help afterwards. To make the choice to alleviate yourself of your own suffering where possible.”

As he says this he realizes that your anger towards the idea of being enslaved to unconscious impulse makes perfect sense. It explains why you focused so much energy on defending your belief in free will. That you have the power to choose how you carry your joy, your anger, your healing. It reminds him of how he held onto his own guilt and hurt, ignoring how it festered within him for so long. He feels as though he needs to share a piece of himself with you.

“I played piano as a child, quite well too. My mother hoped I would someday make a career of it. I vividly remember playing Mozart’s Concerto for Piano No. 20 in D Minor at a holiday party when I was seven years old. It was my favorite to play.... It requires two hands." You finally look at him. "My father...” He pauses to gather himself.

Now it is the doctor that cannot meet your eyes. As you listen you feel your confusion grow. How could he have been a talented pianist if he only had full use of his left hand? Unless..., the realization dawns on you just as he continues, his words slow.

“My father had two sides. One loving and the other brutal, the two often coexisting. It was something as trivial as putting me to bed, I recall... A game of tug of war. We were laughing…” He inhales a sharp breath. Already you can feel the tears begin to blur your vision. “I don't remember if he was drunk or if I said something that offended him. He must have pulled my arm behind my back.” Laszlo exhales shakily. “In small children, fractures can often affect…” he trails off, unable to finish. You can hear how he barely holds himself together.

Your heart aches for the broken man that sits in front of you. He never let on how much his arm bothered him, at least not within your presence. Suddenly you don’t see him as this rude, insufferable, obsessive man, but instead as someone that spends his life trying to protect himself. He projects his own anger and hurt so that he may, just for a minute, forget about his own demons. He wants to help others even when he feels he cannot bear to help himself.

But unlike you, he has to live with the physical reminder of his past every day of his life.

You stand and move to sit on his right side. Before allowing yourself to think too much of your actions, you place your hand atop his own, curling your fingers around his palm and squeezing delicately. You don’t bother wiping away the tears on your cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Laszlo;” the whisper is barely heard above the sound of the train. A second passes where you fear you have overstepped and offended him by touching the affected limb. When his thumb tightens against the backs of your fingers you know he is not. He holds you in place.

“You asked me how I kept my humanity. How does anyone really? We learn to take what we get and we carry it in a bag. Sometimes you have to drag the damn thing behind you. But eventually the weight gets less and less if you allow yourself to move forward, even if it’s still there with you all the time. I dealt with what happened years ago and it does still haunt me. It’s easier now than it was, but… I- I suppose I’ve learned from you too. Sitting in those lectures and hearing you talk. We can either let it haunt us for the rest of our lives… or we can accept it… and use the memory of our pain to help ourselves and others.”

“I’m not sure the choice is entirely in our hands.” His tone is mournful.

You turn to smile at him through your tears. His own eyes are bloodshot. “I disagree. If it weren’t, if we didn’t have the freedom to choose that, we’d all be murderers.”

Tag list

@hardlyinteresting @lorna-d-m @livvyshmiv @somethingthatsaysbubbles @greeneyedblondie44 @unbeatablecurlgirl @apparrio @marchingicenotes7 @anteroom-of-death @bruhidaniel @lemairepstuff @thehuiabird @zemosimp05 @alindeluce @iamnotthecatladynextdoor @laura-naruto-fan1998 @trelaney @boneheadduluc @i-am-dead-inside-666 @fictionlandslanddreams

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 10 "Thanksgiving"

Listen. I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I don't think I can bone you right now.

My wanger is way stressed out.

I've killed for our love.

I just gave her a little push.

You and I can pick up right where we left off.

You can bring me home for Thanksgiving and introduce me to my future in-laws.

What did you do with the body?

I put it in the meat locker. It's where we've been putting all the dead bodies.

I need to see the body.

Look, we can have a three-way with the body.

I'll show you the body, but not so you can have sex with it.

I'll show it to you so that you and I will share a dangerous secret that will strengthen our relationship and bring us closer together.

I don't understand how this keeps happening!

Is this meat locker, like, a wormhole to an alternate universe or something?

She'll probably stop at nothing until she gets her revenge by murdering you.

No one wants to spend a room service Thanksgiving alone.

Are you going to talk at all?

You shouldn't be mad at me.

We're the sane ones.

Now, I know you've got other plans today, and for alibi's sake we need to protect your cover, but I am not letting you leave on an empty stomach.

Is that what quail is? I thought they were bigger.

You know what I was picturing? Pheasant.

Time to slice off those breasts.

I feel like this holiday is all about family, and, well, as you know, I gave up on my real family a long time ago.

I mean, at this point, the closest thing I have to family is. . . you.

I understand that Thanksgiving is supposed to be about family and being together and thanking God that we were born rich in America and not in Uganda or Venezuela or any of those other African countries.

You're late. The game's just about to start.

What do you think would happen if those instructions were incorrect?

This family's fortune is built on being right on time.

There's nothing better than sitting together as a family, watching the game. Laughing, smiling, just enjoying the warmth of each other's company. That's what it's all about today. Togetherness.

I hate defrosted food.

Why is it called Italian Style Chicken Cacciatore? All chicken cacciatore is Italian style.

This is not what Thanksgiving is supposed to be.

A bunch of my sort-of friends have been killed and no one has asked me about it.

Oh. And I'm starting a new family tradition. It involves me never coming to any family occasions ever again.

Would you stop with the screaming?

It's more like a stay of execution until no one is looking.

I've never cooked before, but that should be fine, since I usually just pretend to eat.

Well, I can cook and eat for the both of us.

So we've decided to have an orphans Thanksgiving all together.

I mean, I guess you could come over here if you wanted.

And this year I'm so thankful for the lax indecency laws in Eastern Europe that inundate our Internet with millions of hours of hard-core porn.

You know, ever since I was a little boy, I knew what God wanted me to do and that was make money off the backs of creative people.

I am so thankful that he, for whatever reason, has not murdered me yet.

You have such a vast future ahead of you.

You'll meet so many new and different women. So many wonderful women to go out with and break up with and move on from.

You should be thankful that this table is too long for me to reach across and strangle you, bitch!

What are you doing here? How are you alive?

When I woke up and regained consciousness, I felt better than ever.

The only thing you're carrying is water weight, you bloated little tramp.

I have a little game to play that's gonna make the time fly right by.

No, I've never killed anyone as far as I know.

Okay, there is no evidence at all that mass murder is genetic.

I would say that is more than a little suspicious.

I have bathroom shame issues. I always wait until everyone is asleep and then I sneak down to poop in the little powder room downstairs.

I mean, don't we all agree that those babies are the killers?

That seems like an unnecessarily complicated cover story.

I think we have plenty here to go to the police.

What, are you drunk?

You know, the one time I call you for a little advice, you're hammered.

I suppose we should discuss the matter of payment.

I'm asking you to name your price.

Are you propositioning me?

No, I'm asking how much money it'll take to make you go away.

My family is super-gross rich.

That outfit screams desperation.

I am, however, willing to write you a check for $50,000 if you will leave now and never come back.

It's a lot of money for a family like yours.

What is the best part about Thanksgiving?

Tastes like Henry VIII just barfed in my mouth.

Well, I don't want to sound like a dick here, but have you ever considered maybe you should leave?

I brought some of my famous eight-meat stuffing. It's beef, venison, alligator, buffalo, rabbit, goat, rattlesnake and Spam. I cut all of the meats super thin, so that you're guaranteed every meat in every bite.

I thought you said you were leaving forever or something like that?

Have you ever even cracked open a book?

You did say just the other day that the only way to live is to play the long game.

I really hope you can come up with something better than that.

I can prove that you're the only person in this room we know for a fact is a murderer.

I saw you in the coffee shop the other day, reading one of your old Playgirl magazines.

Okay, look, there's just some stuff that doesn't add up.

Look, I've gone through all the suspects in my mind, and I can explain away all my suspicions for everyone except you.

Can we just talk this out, so you can help me see that I'm wrong?

I mean, it would fit in with your whole hard worker, let's find out the truth, never take no for an answer, awful personality.

Anything to redeem your beloved dead mother.

I can't rest when the killer's still out there, so I stayed behind to do some more research.

You're skinny and pretty, so that's a plus, but it's highly competitive, so you'd better be rich, too.

You know how at the beginning of the year, I was always secretly following you so I could just keep an eye on you, make sure you were safe?

I heard you talking to someone, but I couldn't hear what it was about.

Thank you for letting me talk about this, talk this out, and hear your side of the story.

Um, homely, ugly.

Gold digger! Not welcome.

No, no, too chunky to wear that outfit.

I'm fairly certain this board game's been tampered with.

And while my motivations were airtight and my conscience clear, still, I'm sorry.

I mean, no one deserves to be spoken to like that, particularly not by what is, without a doubt, the most awful family in America.

I've honestly seen more tasteful decor at a Sizzler.

And you, sir, give the kind, hard-working, deeply moral people who work in such a wonderful industry as Hollywood a bad name.

I am walking out that door and never speaking to you again.

How could such a stud evolve from a boy who was so clearly a douche?

Oh, please, look, I-I was so bombed at that party. I mean, I remember I puked while I was making out with some girl, but there is no way that I could've found my way back down there 20 minutes later, let alone 20 years.

This is really embarrassing, um, but I started the paleo diet, because I'm back on the dating scene now, and I-I wanted to lose some weight.

I never saw a body down there.

I-I was a bit of a man slut back in the day, and it was the '90s, so nobody wore condoms.

I'm obligated to take it to the police.

What are you gonna do with the money?

didn't take the money, idiot.

Okay, first of all, I experienced extreme emotional trauma this evening, and second, I'm the one delegating tasks, thank you very much.

I couldn't find any matches.

I was sharpening this knife.

You haven't eaten yet, have you? I knew it!

You've come back. You've chosen me over your awful family.

First of all, my family is awesome. How dare you?

So, without further ado, dinner is served.

[wendystales]

Memories - lrh (Chapter Four)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Three ※※※※※ Chapter Five

I absorbed and enjoyed the silence that was hovering around my house. I grabbed a glass of juice and sat down on the couch on the balcony. My mom left early for work, and Leah even tried to take me along for a photo shoot she was going to do in Venice. But, honestly, I'm not in the mood for dragging plaster casts around under the sun.

Not to mention that it is good to have moments alone to get my head straight. I know that in a little while it will be even harder to escape from these outings, I mean, I know I have to get back to my routine, but as long as I can avoid it, I will.

I put the juice on the table and pick up my diary. Unlike yesterday, I open it to the first page, like a book, and start reading. I go through a few pages about my feelings, about what I planned about my future, about my parents' divorce.

"I know it was inevitable. Anyone could tell how distant they were, I just didn't want it to be like that, that she suffered the same way I did. And I didn't want to feel that anger from him. But deep down, I know it's for the best.".

A few more pages telling about the scout who had seen me at the mall, the first photo shoot, the first runway show for a small clothing brand. Then arriving at the day I met Ashton.

"That one nobody expected/imagined/sought for. Ashton Irwin is my yoga partner!!! Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Oh my gosh, I never would have imagined that. I was dying of nervousness about being the new student, then he comes and offers to be my duo and oh gosh, he's amazing. Super fun and nice. AND HE CALLED ME UP FOR COFFEE ON SUNDAY.

" Ashton and I sat at a table on the sidewalk. Under the table, I snapped my fingers in nervousness as I read the menu.

- Do you already know what you are going to order? - he asks. I pout and nod my head in denial.

- All I know is that I don't want espresso. - I comment.

- Can I recommend one? I think you'll like it, it's whipped with cream and chocolate, very sweet. - He points to the menu after I accept his suggestion.

- It amazes me how good you are at coffee. - I joke, making him laugh.

- I like coffee. I once took a tour of a coffee farm in the countryside right here in California.

Coffee becomes our first topic. Because he knows and understands coffee, Ashton convinces me to do a tasting at a promising coffee shop in Brentwood the next morning. It was not the kind of program I am used to doing, but everything is different now, my life has changed and so have my types of programs.

- You are lost being my friend, I will call you all morning for breakfast together. - Ashton comments as we drive along the sidewalks of Los Angeles.

My body shakes when it hears the word "friend". I still wasn't sure if I could consider Ash a friend, but now, I'm happy to know that I can and that he considers me too. "

The memory warms and cheers me up, giving me more desire to read and remember.

I don't realize how much I was smiling until my cheeks start to hurt. After that day, his name becomes very frequent, until it joins Leah's.

"I don't know how to explain this girl. She came in so confident and nose to nose, I was sure she would be insufferable, then she opened her mouth and all I could think was 'where has she been all my life? ' And I don't want to get my hopes up or be a pain in the ass, but she's also a model and she talked about me going to her father's agency and if that works out? it's one of the biggest agencies in the world, I'm going to take off. God, if this is your will...".

I laugh at the following narrations that already involve Ashton, Noah and Leah. I can't remember what is written, but my imagination gives me a warm, happy feeling in my body. And if the reality has been as fun and nice as what I imagined, then it was very good.

I feel my body shiver and a chill take over my stomach when I see Luke's name for the first time. I cut the pace of my reading, preparing myself for what was to come. I reach for another glass of juice, buying time and even courage to read the rest.

"I had already noticed him looking at me, I just didn't want to believe he was looking at me, and it was perfect like that, until Ashton brought him in. It's one thing to know who Luke is, it's another to talk to him. In the end it wasn't so bad. I guess. I just stared for the first hour at anything but him, but I guess he must have missed it. Now I'm in the dilemma of if he liked me, I mean, we spent four hours talking and nothing, no kiss, no phone exchange. NOTHING."

I laugh at myself. I can perfectly see myself being embarrassed by him and not being able to look him in the eye.. If I could go back in time, I would tell this Marnie that Luke really liked her, even though I only had a basis in videos and pictures.

I pick up my cell phone and open insta, going to the date that marked my diary. 07/06/18. It was Ashton's birthday party. I flip to the side and see a picture taken in Hawaii, with the caption "The one where we got lost". I turn the page and find that trip.

"I know I am committing one of the biggest follies of my life and deep down, I don't even know why. That's a lie, I do, but that's not the point. In fact, it is, but that's not what I'm going to talk about. Again, it is. The point is: I can't believe that at the last minute I agreed to go on a trip to Hawaii with a bunch of people I barely know. Except Ash, Noah and Leah. And P.S. Monday is his birthday. It only gets better.”

Apparently things between Luke and me went pretty quickly. I read a few more pages seeing that on his birthday, we had our first kiss and from then on everything happened too fast and messy.

I write about many fights and reconciliations. Both he and I, didn't want anything serious, but both he and I, couldn't stay away from each other and there was my reason.

"There is a good big part of all this blocking that I believe is because of what happened and because of me trying to pretend it didn't happen. Dr. Prescott says that if I don't put it out there and don't talk about it, it will consume me. 'Talking about our fears, worries and problems makes them smaller and easier to defeat.'

Besides my parents, no one else knows about that day."

I run my eyes quickly down the page, seeing that that one was about Stephen's cheating.

I close the journal in fear. I don't know what is coming, and I don't know if I have the courage to read it. It is one thing to hear about it from others, from their view and opinion, even if it is not on purpose. It's another to hear about it from my view, from what I've been through.

I have no doubt that there are things in these next pages that maybe even my parents don't know. Things and feelings that I have kept solely and exclusively to myself and I don't know if I am ready to face this, again.

I put down the diary and go in search of something else. Luckily for me, my guardian angel, aka Leah, calls me.

“Are you busy? I thought we could have lunch together. What do you think?” she bombards me, not letting me say hello.

“Hi to you too. No, I'm not busy, just reading my diary.” I run my hand over the cover, keeping in the back of my mind what awaits me. “ I'll take lunch.”

Before Leah can answer, I hear a muffled argument on the phone and wait for the fight to end.

“Sorry, but Noah is asking if he can come along.” she asks, without patience.

“Of course he can.” I hold my laughter, imagining the two of them fighting on the other end of the line.

“Okay, in a few minutes we'll be there. Kisses.”

I say goodbye to her and decide not to read the diary again. The doctor himself told me not to force myself into anything. I set the table and wait for the two of them to arrive.

After forty minutes, the doorbell rings. I make way for my friend and analyze the tall, muscular man behind her. Unlike my memory, the Noah of today has his hair well shaved and brunette, like his sister's. His green eyes fill with tears when he sees me crack a smile, and like his twin, he doesn't wait for permission and hugs me.

“Don't ever do that again, young lady. What a shitty world this would be without you!” he squeezes me before showering me with kisses, all over my face.

Leah turns and pulls him away from me, making me laugh. I follow them both into the kitchen and look at the bags they brought, excited.

“We made sure to stop by The Palm and pick up your favorite dish.” I didn't even know that I had a favorite dish at The Palm. But when Leah opens a box and I feel my mouth water when I see that noodle with shrimp, I realize how little I know myself.

“Have I ever told you that I love you?” I ask softly, with a smile.

We start lunch and today my attention was on Noah, after all he was the new thing. I listen to him tell about the day we met, when he began to advise my career with his sister, and how things have been going since the accident.

“You don't have to give any interviews if you don't want to.” he assures me once again.

I still don't know how to deal with this "public figure" business, but deep down I feel a need to give a "satisfaction" to everyone who knows me. Noah has already sent some notes about my condition, but I know that I will have to appear on some channel in the future.

We changed the subject and started talking about my amnesia. Noah was not very happy that my first memory was his hair fiasco. I commented that I was reading my diary and asked about some events.

“Are we really lost in Hawaii?” they both started to laugh and agree.

“That day I wanted to hit Mark. I was getting very angry that he could not accept that he was reading the wrong map. Not to mention the car dying and us pushing," Noah comments.

“Mark was never good with maps. He says himself that he was a lousy Boy Scout.” Leah says before drying her third glass of water.

“Who is Mark?” I question.

“Mark is an ex-lover of mine. At the time we were chatting and he had the house in Hawaii. One thing led to another and in the end he went along.” Leah ends with a frown.

“And why did we let him drive then?” I ask, full of curiosity. They look at me as if I know the answer. Or, as if I should, but I just raise my eyebrows, saying nothing.

“Because it's Mark.” Noah shrugs. “He likes to be in control of everything.”

“The one who was definitely happy with us there was that guy who owns the coconut stand.” Leah says.

So there it is, the little wooden stand, with a pile of coconuts in front of it. A short man, probably about 50 years old, laughing at our misfortune while selling the fruit to us. Images begin to form in my mind.

" “- Look there.” Kyleen and I focus on the little man laughing as he takes the money from Michael's hand. “He sure is very happy with us standing here.” Leah says.

“Of course he is. We already bought twelve coconuts from him. Bad little man.” I make a face.

“We're not lost. It's just a shortcut.” we cut off eye contact with the stand and focus on Mark arguing with Noah and Ashton.

Leah looked at her lover in total disbelief at what she had gotten herself into. If regret could kill. The next moment Mark stomps his foot on the floor, like a child with a temper tantrum. At that moment, Calum looks at me with wide eyes.

I look away so that he doesn't see me laughing. Kiki, who was behind me, slaps me to stop, but this only makes me want to laugh more. I hide my face in her arm and in the end, my laughter gets out of hand. Both she and Calum start laughing with me, causing the boys to look at us curiously.

It takes no more than five minutes for Mike to join in the laughter with us and soon everyone else was laughing except Mark. Even the little bad man was laughing. It was the worst thing about us being lost, but that's what was happening and it couldn't be anything but comical, even though it was sad too. ”

“Of course he was happy. He sold about fifteen coconuts for us.” I don't even try to control my smile. Once again I remembered, and this is more than great.

The twin couple in front of me crack a big smile too, and soon they are clapping their hands and stamping their feet on the floor, making noise. I clap my hands with them in celebration.

“She is coming back.” Noah comes around the table, hugging me from behind and again showering me with kisses.

I was never one to have many friends. Usually it was just Bethany and Stephen, and a girl in my music class, but I don't know if I can consider her that, after all, we only talked during class and it was all very unrelated.

The point is that I have always envied those people who managed to have a large number of friends, and friends really, not just colleagues. Friends who call you for everything, who are always by your side, who enjoy your company, and who consider you family.

In this moment, with just Noah and Leah, I can see that I finally have these friends that I have wanted so much and without having to pretend to be something that I am not, without having to buy their attention, as I felt I needed it with Bethany. And if I'm happy like this with just the two of them, I can't wait to see the others.

“So, you said you were reading your diary, did you remember anything else?” Leah asks excitedly.

All the happiness and euphoria that had surrounded my body disappears. The bloody page with the bloody day comes back into my mind. They both notice my mood drop.

“I remembered a day when I went to have coffee with Ash, but…” I play with the edge of my cup, trying not to get too much into that energy. “I found a day where I tell about what happened.” I look at them, who are serious and attentive.

“Do you want us to read it with you?” Leah holds my hand across the table, gently patting it.

I shake my head positively and point to the notebook on the coffee table in the living room. I watch her return with the notebook and hand it to me. I open it to the marked page and stare at my handwriting again.

"I haven't had the courage to tell either Ashton, Leah, or much less Luke. I can't tell if I'm ashamed of it or just afraid of it happening again. The problem is that it's really starting to get to me, to the point where I get irritated when I see Luke and Leah talking and it shouldn't be like that. So I need to get it all out so that I can start over.

It was our anniversary. I snuck out of my work to see Stephen at his house. I wanted to deliver his gift soon. Two streets before his house I ran into Noelle, his mother, and told her I wanted to surprise him, so she told me to get the key under the third vase and go in.

Maybe it would have been better just to ring the doorbell and not have to see it. I was very quiet so as not to be discovered, and in the end, I was the one who discovered something."

My racing heart hurts from beating so hard. I can't keep my breathing normal, holding it at various times. I feel like it's a suspense book where no one wants to find out what's behind the door of the abandoned house, but needs to, in order to continue the story.

I notice in some letters and words the ink smudged and I know it was from my tears and it only hurts me more.

"There is no word to describe the disgust, pain, and anger of seeing him and her in bed naked. My until then boyfriend, and my until then best friend.

And what only made it worse was that she didn't even try to explain herself, didn't show an ounce of regret, even if it was a pretense. Nothing. While he tried to say it was nothing like that, Bethany still says it had been going on for a long time."

I close the journal angrily and throw it away, stopping on the other side of the long table. The lump in my throat gets bigger, but I don't want to cry, not for this and not again.

Deep down, I have always had a flea behind my ear with the two of them. The countless rides Stephen insisted on giving her. The way she always motivated me to fight with him, for reasons I thought were small and insignificant. But it was my first serious relationship, what did I know about dating, right? Bethany, on the other hand, had dated seriously twice.

It had always been there, I just didn't want to see it.

“I always suspected it and never, never wanted to believe it. After all, he was my boyfriend and she was my best friend. They wouldn't be able to.” I let out a humorless laugh.

The twins look at me fearfully, as if I were a mother scolding them.

“But you know what the worst part is? I believed him. He looked me in the face and said that nothing happened. That Luke was to blame for our breakup! How stupid of me!” I shout, picking up the diary and throwing it further away, as if it would hurt Stephen.

“Wait, what?” Leah speaks loudly.

I look at her startled and realize what I said. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I didn't want anyone to know about the meeting.

“You met with Stephen? When?” she turns the table around, coming closer. I swallow dryly.

“Yesterday morning," I begin softly, but it was enough for Leah to cover her eyes with her hands and snort. Noah laid his head on his arms, sighing as well. “I was confused and needed to hear and see him.” I start to defend myself.

“After everything your mother told you about him?” Leah asks.

“And you think I would believe her? Would you? With amnesia on account?” I retort. Leah takes a deep breath and denies it with her head, giving me reason.

“But you could have told, or asked, I don't know.” Noah ponders.

“Nobody would have let me, I know nobody likes him and rightly so.” I give in.

“That explains a lot.” Leah comments softly, but loud enough for me to hear.

“Explains what?” I ask confused.

She looks at Noah, who nods, giving her the green light. Like me, she swallows dryly before she begins.

“Explain why Luke is so grouchy and weird. Not wanting to come see you.” he answers, poking at the seam of the chair.

NO! No! No! No! No! Please, no. He can't have seen.

“You have to take me to his house.” I ask, heading for the hall.

“What?” the two shout following me.

“I need to talk to him. Now!” I shout the last part, putting on a jacket with some difficulty.

“But why?” Noah helps me.

“Because I think he saw something that wasn't supposed to happen and got it wrong.” I open the door, going to call the elevator.

“Oh, no!” they understand and soon follow me.

Things between Luke and me may be messed up, but the last thing I want him to think is that I cheated on him.

[mmilkbreadd]

Chapter thirteen: “Owls, Cats and Swans”

Masterpost - Prev - Next

(These links might not work, so I recommend you to enter my profile and look in the pinned post for new updates)

Warning(s): a bit longer than usual.

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Despite being a small market, you were able to get all the ingredients for the strawberry cake: eggs, flour, sugar, and, obviously, strawberries. The smell of them was exquisite, and they seemed of good quality too. 

Bokuto was already waiting for you at the entrance, where you had to pay for the products you bought for lunch. Besides the ingredients, you also wanted to buy a common sandwich, just like Koutarou.

“Woah, I didn't know you had a big stomach” Bokuto said looking at everything you were carrying between your hands. “Now I admire you more than ever!”

Shaking your head, you rested your purchases on the table where the cash register was located.

“No, Bokuto-san,” you said, taking your wallet out of the bag that had “Shiratorizawa” written on it. “Ushijima asked me to make a strawberry cake, that's why I brought all these things.”

Bokuto mouthed an “Oh”. Then he took his wallet out of his bag and before you could pay the cashier, he pushed your hand slowly and handed them the money.

You couldn't even complain about his actions, because he was already interrupting before you spoke: 

“No, y/n, I’ll pay... With one condition” the Fukurodani player took the bags with the purchases and pointed to the exit. “I want to try that cake too. Also, you need a kitchen where you can bake it since I doubt that there is a public one in the hotel where you stay. You and your friends can come to my house after the matches are over.”

Friends. What a strange word to refer to the people who were by your side all week. 

Strange, but real.

After exiting the market and accepting Bokuto's invitation (since you hadn't thought about where you would bake until he mentioned it, and also as a form of thanks), both of you headed towards the gym again. But before entering, you decided to sit on a bench at the entrance to have your little lunches. 

While you ate, Bokuto would tell you about his friends and ask questions about your life. There wasn't much to tell him about you, but since he asked very kindly and with a sparkle in his eyes, you tried to answer him as best you could. 

“I never would have guessed that you liked baking,” he said after a few seconds in silence. “I thought you were “volleyball, win, no smiles, angry”.”

You almost spit out all your drink listening to Bokuto trying to imitate your voice. A small laugh left your lips after being able to swallow the liquid that was almost spat out.

Koutarou was really a funny person. Maybe he was a little crazy, but not the bad type. You had heard the rumors that said that Bokuto was “dumb”, but no, you didn't believe that. Rather, you thought he was a genius.

He was clear about things, he knew what was important.

“I think it's time to go back, I have to play in an hour and a half,” you said after looking at the time on your phone. Bokuto looked a little disappointed, but then came back with his energetic expression.

“Oh, what a shame! I was having a good time with you, but you're right” he said getting up from the bench where he was sitting. “I too have a game shortly. Maybe, with a bit of luck, I can see some of yours!”

After entering the gym, you guys parted ways to go with your respective teams waving each other goodbye. When you got to where Emiko was, you noticed that Tendou and Ushijima were there too.

When Satori saw you, he was no longer angry, but now he was hugging you saying “you can never replace me after this hug.” When you were able to get out of his arms, Ushijima and Tsukasa asked how you had been, then you proceeded to explain what Bokuto had offered you: go to his house so you could bake the strawberry cake.

While Emiko jumped with excitement and Wakatoshi just smiled wishing to taste the dessert, Tendou frowned, jealous that you already had a strong relationship with ace Fukurodani's ace the first day you met. Instead, it had taken him ONE WEEK to gain your trust. 

Torture much, right?

Finally, after finishing telling the news to your friends, your coach called you and Emiko to start warming up before the game. You left Ushijima and Tendou and joined your other teammates.

The warm-up lasted about an hour since the match that was taking place on the court where your team was going to play next, had ended earlier than planned. You carried the ball cart to the side of the court where you would start playing. The coach said to practice a bit more, before Rato High School, your rival, arrived.

The referee blew the whistle indicating that the match was about to begin and then both teams positioned themselves on the lines that marked the boundary of the court to salute. Your serve would indicate the beginning of the match. 

Screams coming from the audience behind you caught your attention. At first, you thought they were the usual ones, Wakatoshi and Satori. But after observing who was screaming, you realized that it was Bokuto. He had his arms raised in the air, swinging them back and forth. Beside him were Akaashi (as usual), and a boy with black hair, and combed up, who did not have any team uniform. You thought it was Kuroo Tetsuro from Nekoma, you still weren't sure since he wasn't wearing the red sports team. 

You looked at Bokuto and smiled at him, thanking him for the support.

Seconds before serving, in the silent gym you could hear:

“If I had been the one screaming, I would have been killed. The preferences are noticeable.”

Satori Tendou, he would never change. 

And neither would the team... You had won again. 

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When the four of you arrived at Bokuto's house you couldn't even ring the bell, since the owner had opened the door for you as soon as your feet landed on the entrance. Taking off your shoes before entering, Akaashi explained that Koutarou had been sitting by the window since they returned from the gym, waiting for all of you to arrive. Specifically, waiting for you. 

Kuroo Tetsuro was in the kitchen, which confirmed your theory from earlier: he was watching the game too. Nekoma had lost during the third round against Karasuno, while they had lost today in the semi-finals against Kamomedai High. He also told you that the orange-haired boy (Hinata Shoyo), who had been involved in your downfall the day they arrived in Tokyo, had a fever, which was quite influential in the defeat. 

After yelling at Satori and Koutarou several times not to touch the raw strawberry cake mix, you were able to put it in the oven to finally cook. During the anxious wait, Kuroo and Bokuto were asking about your years playing volleyball, and why now you hang out with these people; being that the year before, you were alone practically all the time. Even though their questions were a bit annoying, you answered all of them as you had earlier at lunch. 

Akaashi and Emiko were talking in the corner as they carefully watched the three of you. Tsukasa, in her mind, was cursing Tetsuro because he was ruining her plans of setting up you and Bokuto, by not leaving you alone. Meanwhile, Tendou and Ushijima sat in front of the oven waiting for the time to take out the cake. 

After a long forty minutes, the dessert was ready. Carefully, you took the cake out of the oven and let it cool on top of the table, despite Wakatoshi's requests, who said that he could handle a bit of heat. Fifteen minutes later, everything was perfect for eating.

The seven tasted a piece of the cake, while you watched the others for a reaction. Suddenly, Bokuto started crying.

“It's the best cake I've ever had!” he said before hugging you. Maybe he liked hugs too much. “Come live with me and make me these desserts every day.”

When he released you, everyone started thanking you and complimenting you on how great it was. Nobody expected you to know how to cook so well, but they didn't know all the years it took you to perfect your recipes. 

Two hours passed and there was no more of the cake. Everyone was laughing and having a good time. Including Tendou, who was the only one who didn't want to come because of his jealousy for Bokuto. But all good things must end. 

“Time to go,” Tsukasa said after finishing helping Akaashi wash the dishes. “We are going to be late if we don't leave now.”

Saying goodbye to everyone, they thanked you again for the delicious food you had prepared, and you thanked Bokuto for letting you cook at his house. No one had been dissatisfied.

Tomorrow would be the semi-finals, and the players from Fukurodani and Shiratorizawa would have various incentives to win and reach the finals.

And Tendou had one more day to accomplish his mission of making you laugh. Difficult but not impossible. 

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A/N: there’s an error on the National Tournament’s Twitter image, Shiratorizawa won 2:0, instead of 2:1. Sorry, it must have slipped!!────────∘°❉°∘────────

Taglist: @nataliahaslosthershit @softesyoongi @allofycurlove @iwaizumi27athletictrainer @quiche-inoya @lukeyaccount @melodiamore @bokutowo @aideen00

(tags in black are not working)

Thanks for the support!

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Thanks for reading!! 🥰

[echo-three-one]

Chapter 26

Schedule another appointment... (I guess)

The road so far

Previous Chapter : Off the Grid

Thanks @smokeywhalee for the second variation ❤️

What's Behind Door Number Two

Francine "France" Winters

MacTavish Residence, Glasgow, Scotland

Francine never knew this about John MacTavish. He was sure full of surprises behind that arrogant smirk of his. No wonder he oozes confidence. He was a man raised to be proud of himself.

While Gary was all talking about which rooms were occupied, Francine diverted her focus elsewhere. He didn't understand any word he said, instead she looked intently at all the pictures on the wall, the furniture on each hallway and the design of the house. This was the house that raised one John MacTavish. It was beautiful, each photo on the wall described how happy his family was. Each of his achievements were plastered on a grand hall along with trophies, certificates and plaques of his parents. Francine's curiosity toward the man that he wanted to learn more about, was all answered in this house. How much more intel would she get if she gets a glance of his room?

She shook off the ideas scrambling on her mind once she imagined what's inside John's room and how she could get access to it. It was far too early for those thoughts.

"See something ya like?" A mental image of John sprawled across the bed wearing just his boxers assaulted her mind. She felt her cheeks fluster as the mental image continued to play inside her mind.

Maxine nudged her and she completely shook off the memory and immediately nodded, not knowing what she agreed to do. Then it dawned on her. They'll be sharing the same room.

Gary exchanged a few words with Samantha where it involved a little sophisticated exchange. Maxine laughed at it while she proceeded to their room. France whispered that she'll be using the bathroom and quietly excused herself.

Price and Jack, together with Nikolai were gathered around the huge tv in the living room. They were intently watching news clips regarding the culmination of Nero's New York Assault.

"Excuse me, Captain? Where's the bathroom?" She asked, Price didn't turn but pointed toward a hallway. She immediately said her thanks and proceeded to the direction of Price's finger.

There were a lot of doors and France opened them one by one. One consisted of the study, an equally spacious place filled with books. Another one led to a downstairs gym. She was getting tired of opening the wrong doors and she decided to climb up the stairs and check on another door.

She hesitated opening it as it looked far too fancy to just be a bathroom door, but judging from the overall appeal of the house, anything was possible.

She turned the knob and pushed the door wide open revealing a huge navy blue walled room. Posters, flags and paraphernalia of football clubs were hung around the walls along with some notable paintings of scenic landscapes, all coloured and appealing to the eyes.

Her eyes slowly trailed down and turned to the door as it swung open, a very naked John MacTavish emerged from the bathroom door. It was all too late, he didn't even notice it but as soon as she squealed in surprise, John automatically turned and ran to the bed, quickly wrapping himself with his black bathrobe.

"What are you doing here?!" Was all he could ask. France could see him from the hole she made in between her fingers while her hand covered her face.

"I'm sorry, John. I was uh… looking for the bathroom..." she muttered, slowly closing the door, leaving her head peeking.

"The room to the far end of the left hallway." he muttered. He didn't sound mad, but she could sense shock in his voice. Who wouldn't be?

"I'm sorry." She slowly closed the door and paced to the bathroom, trying to forget anything that happened after opening that door.

With Ghost around, Francine sat beside Maxine, who now knows about the situation. She told Roach that she needed to bond with her sister and the considerate guy agreed to temporarily switch places.

Dinner was very awkward for Francine. After that event earlier, she couldn't look at John in the eye and if by chance she accidentally did, the mental image which was now no longer a figment of her imagination, kept reappearing. She couldn't help it, she was already admiring the man.

"I'd like to propose a toast." Price stood up and raised his glass of water. Everyone else seemed okay with the motion and followed.

"But before that I'd like to thank Soap for letting us stay in this wonderful home. Please extend our appreciation to your family."

France's eyes trailed carefully toward John as he nodded and replied, averting her gaze as soon as his eyes moved.

"Will do, Captain. And please, don't be shy and feel at home." he said, his voice mixed with the accent made France's heart skip a little as she loved that about him.

"Now for my toast… 'To apprehending Shepherd and putting a stop to Nero!'" he roared.

Everyone cheered and raised their glasses, clinking it with the person beside them and drinking it afterward. France knew the procedure but as soon as her lips met the glass, her eyes accidentally met with John's, the blue piercing gaze behind the eye scar made her freeze, she immediately closed her eyes after downing her glass of water and breathed heavily.

He saw it. She knew he saw it. Why was she like this with him? Aside from the fact that she really likes him, why be awkward? She looked down and panted her lips still wet from the excess water she drank.

"You okay, France?" Maxine asked.

"Yeah. I just choked on my water. I'll just go to the bathroom." She said, excising herself and making her way to the bathroom. This time, she was sure it's the right door.

As soon as dinner was over, France distracted herself from thinking about John, so she decided to help out Roach and Maxine make their shopping list for tomorrow.

Roach yawned and stretched his arms, landing his other hand on Maxine's shoulder. France noticed this and immediately darted out an eye to Gary as he shyly withdrew his hand and instead tapped it on the wooden table.

"So what else should we get?" Maxine tapped her pen along with Gary's tune.

"Sugar." Gary said, watching Maxine write it down legibly.

"Hmmm." Francine hummed, she imagined herself inside a grocery store and put herself in the situation. What should she buy for ten people?

"You know that huge sausage thing from Germany? I wanted to know what they taste like." Gary asked, picturing the item with his hands. France's mind went somewhere else and she didn't want that to happen.

"You mean bratwurst?" Maxine answered, smiling as Gary looked very satisfied that he found the word he was looking for.

"Yeaaah! That one!" he cheered as Francine silently excused herself hiding the blush of embarrassment burning in her cheeks.

She paced to the hallway on her way to their bed, just as she thought she could finally relax, John was already on the other end of the hallway and was walking toward her direction.

She tried to avoid him but it was far too late, she had no choice but to face him seriously. He was wearing a red checkered sleepwear matching his pajamas and it looked like he outgrew his old clothes too, making the fabric cling desperately to his muscles.

"I've been meaning to talk to you since dinner." he exhaled, France looked elsewhere as to not recall anything.

"Are you okay? Did I do something wrong because…" he trailed and she felt guilty. John didn't deserve any of this from her and she wanted to clear things with him anyway.

"No… it's okay. You didn't do anything wrong… I just felt awkward after what happened earlier."

"It was an accident, France. Shrug it off as a bad memory that your mind wouldn't want to recall. It's unfair for me, you know. The last time we got together I was happily hugging you while we slept and now you're doing everything you can to avoid me." he explained. He was true except she couldn't consider it as a bad memory.

"Besides, I couldn't think of any other reason you're avoiding me other than you can't stop thinking about it, eh?" he wiggled his eyebrows. There he was again with the ego. France blushed red and almost wanted to cry, until she felt John's warm embrace and it immediately cleared her mind.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it that way. When I cracked the joke, you weren't the usual snob that I grew to like." he whispered and she then knew that he already knew her too well.

"It's okay." she croaked as she saw Ghost exit his room their eyes met and she could see the sadness in Simon's eyes. So much for giving him space, it looked like she already broke his heart. She needed to talk to him, to explain that she tried her best.

"You need to buy new sleepwear." Francine muttered and she felt John's body shake as he chuckled, not wanting to leave from the embrace.

"Yeah, will you be there to help me pick one?" he asked, rubbing his rough arms on her back. She closed her eyes wishing this moment would never end. Her hand shyly wrapped around his waist as she pulled him over, almost inviting him for a kiss.

There was still hesitation in her eyes as John looked down on her and their eyes met. His gaze set her mind at ease, and by ease she meant completely blank, her thoughts were hazy and all she could think about was to close her eyes and pucker her lips. And that was what she did.

This kiss was far too different from the one they shared back in the Gulag. Back there she felt relieved, happy and excited. In this one, she felt desire, longing and excitement. The initial impact was slow and intimate and she expected it to continue that way until they broke their kiss but as soon as she opened her mouth and let John's tongue in, the both of them tilted their heads as their hands roamed eagerly around each other, John wrapped his arms from below her waist up to her nape and pulled her close, never breaking the kiss while France also pulled him in as her hand slid from his back to his shoulders, gently trailing her soft touch through his biceps. They were so close to each other that they were swaying as their heads tilted attempting to try kissing on every angle possible. Maxine moaned in between the sounds of their lips clashing and she could already feel the excitement forming on John's body causing her to slowly end the kiss.

As soon as he felt that she was trying to break the kiss, John rested his forehead against hers as they stared longingly on each other, their hands slowly drifted apart as their bodies slowly stepped back from each other.

"Good Night, John." She said nervously, worried about what he might feel toward her actions.

"Good Night, Francine." He replied there was a question on the tone of his voice but France was glad that he was not pushy this time.

She stepped back, and turned to the direction of her room smiling awkwardly as his stare was locked on hers.

"I'll be patient for you… because I know you're worth the wait." he said, a blush forming on her cheek as soon as she realized he really did hear her whisper the last night they slept beside each other.

Without looking back, she walked faster than ever and closed the door, jumping to her pillow and fighting the extreme feeling of embarrassment.

France barely slept. It was like one Scottish man kept her up all night as he continued to stay on her thoughts. She was going crazy over him and she can only think of one way to cure her. Distraction.

She got up around five in the morning, her eyes were sore from the lack of sleep, but she washed it off with an early morning hot shower. If only she knew each room had bathrooms. If only she listened to Roach.

She distracted herself by going to the pantry and started sorting out things for their list, it was a lengthy one and they needed to clear out room for more. Her plan went well until thirty minutes later, a very sweaty John MacTavish, entered the kitchen door.

She immediately turned back to the pantry as soon as the view of him dripping in sweat, wearing a perfectly fit black tank top and sweatpants appeared from the corner of her eye. There he was again, innocently looking insanely attractive. And there she was again, falling for it.

"Looks like you're up too early." His voice was loud enough she couldn't ignore it. She took a deep breath and turned to him. It was the bluetooth earphones.

"Yeah. Figured an early head start would help." She replied. What kind of sentence was that? She didn't know, but she was grateful enough that he was only invested for small talk as he grinned and made his way to his room making France sigh in relief.

Later that morning while they were arranging the supplies, they stumbled upon Alex and Samantha, making out like teenagers by the gazebo. It was supposed to distract her from the Scotsman who was talking to someone over the phone but she couldn't help but remember the kiss they shared last night, making her secretly glance toward John, and then back to the two. Her heart raced as she felt nervous toward herself. She was supposed to be extra careful investing feelings towards someone else in the middle of the fight, but now that she knew John was willing to be patient for her, she was now the one eager for him.

In the afternoon, France wanted to talk to Ghost personally. She wanted to clear out things about what he saw and what occurred in Brazil. Back then, she was confused about what she felt, but now it was clear as day. Roach told her that he never left his room all day and it made her feel guilty. But then again, he never made a move toward her so, technically she didn't have to feel that way. But the idea of clearing things off with him as he began to fall for John was what's best.

She stood by the door, bracing herself before attempting to knock, but as soon as her knuckles were about to touch the wooden door, he heard John's loud announcement from the living room.

Ghost already left. It looked like he didn't need any more explanation from her.

I tried my bestest to describe that part but there's a video to slightly enlighten y'all with what's going on. It's way off than what I wanted it to be when I put it in writing.

Next Chapter : Staying in Shape

Notification Squad my Beloved

@enderio @beemybee @ricinbach @whimsywispsblog @samatedeansbroccoli @smokeywhalee

[takaraphoenix]

This may or may not be a touchy question (I guess it depends?), but how do you deal with hate with people who don't particularly like your work or the pairings you like? Because I've seen a fair amount of people stop creating content they want to make because of the backlash or hate they get simply for shipping something, so I do wonder... How do you do it? After all these years, how are you still standing, head held up high? – Much love! <3

I suppose a huge part in that is... personality? I mean, what type of person one is. Some people are very sensitive and negativity gets to them heavily.

Which, is ironic, because I am normally that type of person. I always overthink what other people may think of me and in real life I am easily deterred.

But something about the internet changes the dynamic for me.

If it’s in person? If someone looks me in the eye and criticizes the things I like? That has me fuming. But ain’t nothing more unpersonal than getting an anon and having this round fella with the sunglasses stare at you, or having a “guest” on AO3 comment something nasty.

Because they’re cowards. And the cowardice of the other party tells me that, so a certain degree, they themselves know they’re full of shit. Because if they were confident in what they’re saying, if they knew they were right with whatever they’re claiming, there’s no need to go anon. They could tell me “to my face” - as much as the internet allows that; by being logged in and starting a dialogue.

But someone who hides behind the grey round fella with the sunglasses to tell me I’m morally wrong? Makes me  genuinely laugh. Because if I were, you had no reason to hide.

(At this point, I’d like to add, since you’re on anon too, that there’s different reasons for going on anon. Sometimes, it’s shyness. But if you think yourself morally superior to someone and want to ring the bell of shame behind them, you can’t hide behind anonymity. That’s different.)

I just really can’t take people seriously who hide in the shadows of anonymity to scream at me about how wrong I am. You’d do that with confidence if you knew you were right. But they’re wrong and full of shit. Because they are.

There is no “right” or “wrong” about taste. A ship ain’t only valid for being morally upstanding, pure, canon, whatever. And a person ain’t inherently vile for shipping something that’s unleathy, or toxic, or whatever buzzword they throw around.

Which is another part. I just... absolutely can not take anyone seriously who throws buzzwords around wildly and with no foundation, because they lack any common sense.

Yeah, they’re brothers and it’s incest, what do I care, they’re also fictional characters, I ain’t telling two real life brothers to bang and get married, what’s wrong with the people who can’t tell fiction apart from reality. That’s just pitiful.

I’ve also seen the other side of that. I’ve seen antis ship the exact thing that they’re judging, insulting and harrassing other shippers for. From incest to abuse apologism to just plain toxic canon dynamics. All the things they find a justification to harrass others about, but they ship things of that kind themselves. But their ships are ““different”“ from the ones they hate.

It all boils down to taste and it boils down to a bunch of morons who can’t grasp the concept of “taste” and the fact that... you can like something without it being pure and you can dislike something without it being every shade of morally corrupt.

They bend over backward to find justifications for why the ships they dislike are inherently bad, while they also bend over backward to justify why the exact same things they judge other ships for are actually wholesome and pure in the ships they like.

And at that point, I just genuinely feel bad for those people and am terrified for them. Because I am fully aware of what I ship. I know every deprived nook and cranny of my ships. I know the exact level of toxicity of the canon dynamics. I’m just also aware that they’re fictional characters. But the moment you start reaching to justify why abuse isn’t technically abuse, that’s when it becomes worrisome. And that’s what they do, to justify their own ships.

Now, I’m not gonna lie, this isn’t an attitude I always had and it’s not something I just woke up with one day.

I’ve been in fandom for 15 years now. I’ve seen a lot and I’ve dealt with a lot. I’ve seen when shipwars were primarily reserved to the canon straight love triangles. I’ve seen it devolve into “your ship isn’t valid the gays are getting in the way of the CANON STRAIGHTS”. I’ve seen the number of canon gays grow in media and how it affected these ship wars, invalidating ships where a canon gay ship was split up. And now this shit-show of antis.

My attitude grew out of seeing and experiencing a lot. I was lucky to be “raised” in a safe fandom environment, where the fandom olds took us youngsters under their wings and guided us, taught us how to improve our writing, helped us establish connections in a community.

And that last part, that’s important. Important in dealing with hate. Maybe the most important part, really. You have to find your community. Don’t let yourself be sucked into a circle of hate. Find the people who love the same things as you - the same show, the same characters, the same ships. Form friendships, find that community of positivity.

Fandom is what you make it. Even when other people try to make it something else, try to turn it into a hateful, gross place filled with harrassment and fear and moral policing. Regardless of how hard they try; your fandom is up to you.

Find the people who bring the positivity, who will come into your fics and leave reviews of love and positivity. And weed out the bad. Block them. Block the antis in your fandom, avoid them. Sometimes, preemtively going into an anti tag and just going on a block-spree can be really helpful already. You can block anons on tumblr too! Granted, only their ID, but at one point they’re gonna run out of devices to post anon hate from.

That much to my personal attitude toward it. Now to the act of actually dealing with it.

Many adivse, rightfully so, to ignore it. AO3 allows you to delete comments. On tumlr, you can just delete an anon and not answer it. Especially when you’re the type who is affected by it, not engaging is the best solution.

Personally, I like arguing with people. Everyone who ever talked to me might have noticed that. I live for a good argument. And I’m really bad at letting something just stand. So I usually argue back. I do that, because I am very bad at keeping my mouth shut, but also because it brings me a certain amount of glee to mock their nonsense.

I do it here. I have my “Dear Anonymous Shithead” tag where I address anon bullshit and anon hate from FFNet and AO3 - because FFNet doesn’t let you answer to anons. And then I delete the original comments on my fics, because I don’t like shitstains on my fics.

I call that approach meeting them on your own terms. Because they think they are doing something grand somehow by publicly leaving their vile comments on your fics. Delete them, take their voice away. Put it somewhere else to argue their nonsense on your own terms, mock them if you want, it’s fun. Fight your battle, the way you want to fight it - and that does include just deleting them and not engaging at all; that’s not running away, that’s self-care.

Like I said, my attitude’s not always been like that. It got me before too. Way, way back - and I really do mean way back, it’s been surely over five years ago - there was a tumblr account on here that spent an unreasonable amount of time openly hating on me. It’s the reason I avoided getting a tumblr, because back then I was not in a mental state to openly engage with such a hateful place.

And it’s still a hateful place; all those anti communities here. People proudly proclaiming they’re antis in their biography. People taking screenshots of other tumblrs or artists to mock them and make fun of them. The thing that changed isn’t tumblr, it’s me. I waited to engage with this place until I was ready to engage with it. I got my tumblr account when I already had the attitude of scoffing at anon hate.

I do think that only getting actively involved in a website when you are ready for it is another important part. The thing you mention in your ask, the people who stopped creating because of anon hate. It breaks my heart, it absolutely does, and I hate losing creators to it, but I do think that if those creators made that judgment call for themselves and their own mental health because they knew they couldn’t handle the harrassment, then they did the right thing. Even if they themselves may hate it, because they want to create. But sometimes, taking a step back is the right thing to do. I do hope that they will find it in themselves to overcome this and come back stronger, but constant harrassment and bullying can have severe consequences on a person and removing yourself from that kind of environment can sometimes be a last resort that needs to be taken.

I’ll also admit that I’ve been calculating what fandom to interact with to what degree ever since I got a tumblr account and started to see just how deep the hatred goes. Some things I might have created for, but I saw just how nasty the antis in the fandom were and... it wasn’t worth the fight for me.

Percy Jackson and Shadowhunters are my loves. My ride-or-die fandoms. I can, and will, fight for them. No one will chase me out of these fandoms, regardless of what kinds of insults and bullshit they throw at me. I’ve been here years longer than most of these newbie antis and I will be here long after they moved on to other things.

New things that I don’t have attachment to, I will weight if my level of interest in the thing will be worth engaging with the fandom nonsense with. Sometimes, it’s not, sometimes I make the judgment call for myself to step a way from a thing.

I admit, that happend with Teen Wolf too. Back when I did my last rewatch and enthusiastically engaged with it on here on tumblr, live posting about my rewatch and it... showed me startling, ugly sides of this fandom that I hadn’t known before, back when all my engagement had been to read fics and to write that one fic I had. That rewatch could have dragged me back into the deep end - but the brand of hate I encountered here... genuinely got to me. It really messed with my head, a lot, I’ve never been threatened before, I’ve never been insulted and constantly harrassed to such a degree. It was the first time I ever turned off anon on here, it put me into a sense of dread for just coming online for a while. I didn’t expect that, neither that it’d happen nor the extend of it or that it’d get to me like this. I still love Sterek to bits and pieces, it’ll be one of those ships I will always be attached to, but that experience with the bad side of the fandom made me recoil from getting involved with Teen Wolf again.

But in the Percy Jackson fandom? I’ve stood here for ten years now. I’ve gotten shit thrown at me about pretty much anything. I’ve also created over five hundred works for this fandom. I have received love and excitement in comments. I have received fanarts. I have received fanfiction to my fics. I’ve gotten fics dedicated to me by people who liked my work and wanted to write something nice for me. I’ve met one of my best friends and I’ve met my girlfriend in this fandom. Sure, I’ve been called names and been mocked, but I also know what I have.

I know I’m a damn good writer. I may not have much self-esteem, but what little self-esteem I have is located here, in the very thing they think they can attack. The thing is, I have no insecurities in this. This is the one area where you can’t attack me. And on top of that, I have that community of amazing people who love the same things as I do. I have the support, the friends, the shared hype. What do I care about some pitiful little fool hiding behind anonymity to whine about how wrong and gross I am? Their opinion weights nothing compared to that of the people who leave me anon love, who leave me squealy and excited comments.

To sum it all up:

Someone who has to hide behind anonymity is aware they don’t have the moral high ground.

Their definition of the “moral high ground” is so pitiful that it makes me feel bad for them.

I know the difference between fiction and reality and I pity the fools who don’t.

Find a positive fandom space for yourself and claim it.

Either delete anon hate, or meet it on your own terms.

Sometimes, I don’t. Sometimes, I lose and the hate does get to me.

You need to make the judgment call for yourself, if you can mentally handle a situation or not, and do what is best for you.

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Kentarou is a delinquent werewolf who was taken in by Reader. Hes in his second year of highschool, a track kid whos involved with the wrong crowd. Till he meets the Schools volleyball Ace.

Part Four

Kyotani x Hajime

It was after school now and Kyotani was waiting for Hajime outside the school like he asked him too. Hands in his pockets and cigarette in his mouth with an angry expression on his face. He was only going for the food, thats it.   He groaned into the stone wall he was leaning on , switching his cigarette to the other side of his mouth with his tongue when Ayme ran over hugging his hips and dipping her fingertips into his pants. 

 “Let go” he told her, shimmying away  to lean back again.

“What are you doing ? we gotta get ready fo the party” she told him a little huffy.

“What party” he asked, puffing out smoke through his teeth, he could feel his wolf was agitated, he always was when Ayme was around him. 

Aymes parties were not parties, anything but; everyone was drunk or high and grinding on each other. Kyotani could not get drunk anymore since he was a werewolf so he just stuck to smoking his cigs while everyone practically threw themselves at him. He did not care much for it and often left unsatisfied each and every time.  Ayme and her friends often tried to play on his ‘ Mad Dog’ nick name during sex and it just pissed him and his wolf off more. His wolf tried to take over one time and Kyotani had to force him back down , he had never had to do it before and trying to focus while he had girls on him was not easy. He left as soon as he could to go change in the woods and kill something.

“My partry!! I told you about it at lunch!” 

“Mm..” he was looking around now.

“I know you dont drink but cmon baby.” she moved back to him touching his belt. “I promise this will be different”

 “Oh yeah?” he looked down at her puffing smoke in her face

“Ack.. yes! We were talking and… what if we let you tie us up?”

“Id tie you sluts to the bed and leave” Hajime was finally coming into view

“Hmph!” Ayme stepped back folding her arms. “Just you wait , youll show up at my door one day begging for me” her tone changed and she ran a hand down his tone chest. “And you can do whatever you want big boy”

“Am i interrupting something?” Hajime came over to see Kyotani looking very pissed off and Ayme touching his hips. 

“yes you are!” she told him “we -”

Kyotani pushed her off and started walking. “ no, were done talking”

“Hey! Kyotani! Just cuz your a third year doesn't mean you can interrupt !”

Hajimie flashed her a smile “ sorry, but i have no idea who you are” and left to catch up with Kyotani.

**

Hajime jogged over to the angry boy and slowed to a walk next to him.

“So are you gonna ask where my house is or are you gonna walk around aimlessly?” Kyo puffed some smoke looking in the other direction.

“Do you need to let anyone know your not going right home?”

“Pfft..”

“Hey uh, you think you could put that out?”

Kyotani stopped walking to give Hajime a glare, his cigarette shining bright red at the end. Hajime stopped and gave Kyotani a happy grin. “Smoking is bad man, pretty please? “

“Screw off” 

Hajime got closer, rubbing on Kyotanis side whispering in his ear . “for me? Mad Dog?”

He jumped in his skin feeling goosebumps travel from his neck to his chest . “the fucks your problem?” Kyo said moving away hitting a stone wall leaving him no options for a exit. Hajime walked over cornering him but left his left side open , 

 “Im just looking out for you.” he flashed a smile and Kyotani felt his wolf stur around in him, he felt slightly aroused as well. Why though? The fuck. This was just some volleyball kid , no one important. He didnt need anyone, not you , not Ayme and not him.

“ i can look after myself”

“Even when your backs against the wall?”

“Yes”

Hajime backed off giving Kyotani some space. “Look. you can damage your body over time by smoking, happend to my dad ,thats all. “ he looked away scratching the back of his head talking a little low. “Just dont want to lose you yet , you seem cool..”

Kyotani had enhanced hearing thanks to his wolf and Hajimes words made his heart skip a beat, he could call him out on it if he wanted to . but he was confused by these feelings.

“What?” was what he finally said.

“Nothing, you like hamima chicken?”

“Fuck yes i do”

“Good! Cuz i've got plenty” 

Kyotani watched Hajime walk past him with a smile on his face. Kyotani stood there for a minute trying to focus on his wolf. “ knock it off…” he told himself as he flicked his cigarette away to catch up with Hajime.

**

Kyotani was sitting at the island in Hajimes kitchen watching him make the Hamima chicken, no one else was home yet so it was just them, his wolf was still on edge and he was even more aroused now. What was his problem? Its just Hajime, no one important.  Kyotani caught himself looking at the boys chest a alot and his arms, so tone.. Lean.. fuck. He shook his head and looked down pulling out his phone.

Kyotani/ Ma

Y.n/ yes kyo? Are you alright?

Kyotani/ im at a 

He looked up to see Hajime still cooking , he looked down at his phone again.

Kyotani/ im at a friends house, his name is Hajime so ill be home later

You were at work staring at your phone with utter disbelief on your face. Kyo never told you where he was or texted you.  And it was a boys home and not that.. Ayme girl.

Y.n/ okay Kyo, ill see you tonight, have a good time. 

Kyotani looked up again to see the food in front of him on a plate with a water and Hajime leaning on the table looking pretty smug.  Kyotani picked up the food taking a rough bite out of it. “Like it ?” Hajime asked coming around the island to sit next to the quiet boy.

“Its fine” 

“Just fine? Im hurt.”

“Pft..” Kyotani looked away still eating and felt a finger on his cheek scoop up some food . Kyotani looked back to see Hajime eating the piece of chicken. His face felt like it was on fire , Hajime leaned close to Kyotani whispering in his ear. 

“You can at least say it tastes good… i worked so hard on it”

“Maybe you need to pull it out of me”

“Oh yeah?” Hajime smirked moving back a bit. “Throw a dog a bone?

Kyotani was feeling very flustered and aroused at everything happening. Never before had he had any interest in guys, his wolf was not fighting it or trying to rip him to shreds . Hajime leaned back in his seat spreading his legs slightly and leaning on the island. Kyotani put his food down and looked Hajime up and down, his wolf forcing him up off the chair.

“Cmere Mad Dog” Hajime said low.

His wolf forced him to take a step forward , Kyotani gripped the island leaning down so he was eye level with the smirking boy.  

 “Yes?” Hajime asked, leaning forward taking in Kyotanis scent.” you smell like cigarettes”

“I dont care, i -..” his voice trailed off once he felt Hajime brush his lips against his. Kyotani sucked in air and Hajime pulled him on his lap . “cmon Mad Dog, loosen up for me” he lightly pressed his lips against the confused boys mouth. 

“Ff!” Kyotani stumbled into the boys lap falling into his kiss. He laid his arms on the boys shoulders, kissing him back , his wolf was rejoicing inside him, he never felt better than he does right now. Normally he would make Kyotani growl at Ayme and her slutty friends but right now he was pushing Kyotani in more,

 Kyotani pulled away breathing through his mouth staring at the boy in front of him watching him lick his lips and bite the bottom one. Hajime rested his hands on the tall boys hips leaning back in the chair rubbing in little circles with his thumbs.

“You haven't killed me yet” The smug boy said.

“Shut up..” Kyotani sat down on the boys lap looking everywhere but him, he could feel his gaze on him though.

“Have you never kissed a guy before?”

Kyotani growled looking back at the boy and Hajime pursed his lips together smiling big. 

“Im flattered, “

“Pft..” 

“I guess i shouldint of done that, your girlfriend will be upset”

“Girlfriend?”

“That girl touching you after school”

Kyotani clicked his tongue leaning forward a bit till their elbows connected. “Shes not my girlfriend, just a quick fuck.” his lips were tingling from the kiss still.”unsatisfying fuck” He added, even though it was not really necessary . 

Hajime pulled Kyotani closer, smelling the cigarettes in his clothes still, he looked down looking for the pack of smokes on his person. Kyotani’s heart was racing. He wanted more, why ? why was his wolf trying to get him to do more?  It felt nice .. was that it? Feeling nice is .. nice…

 Kyotanis hands lingered down from Hajimes shoulders to his neck drifting down to the boys chest , his thumbs pulling it up. He had gotten the shirt half way up taking in his tone chest. From all that stupid volleyball obviously. No cuts or anything , no bruises.. His left hand held the shirt up while his right one felt all around the boys chest. He could hear Hajime breathing pick up in his ear and Kyotanis heart was going nuts, he ran his fingers all along his chests slowly… slowly moving down to his pants. His fingers gliding along the black belt.  

 Hajime had found the pack of smokes in Kyotanis pocket and reached in taking them out and holding them up leaning back in the chair, he also pulled his shirt back down .

  “This needs to stop, if you want to do more”

“Excuse me?”

“The smoking”

“What makes you think i want to do more huh ?”

Hajime patted the boys hips with his free hand . “still sitting on me”

“Shut up..” he got up off the boys lap walking into the island.

“And well..” he pouted when he saw his lap was empty , “you were getting pretty handsy” Hajime looked up and lifted his shirt teasing the werewolf. “Pretty sure i felt hands on my belt too”

Kyotani huffed looking away at the fridge ignoring the arousal in his pants. Hes just another guy, no one important. Just take the smokes back Kyotani..

 “Im unsure about all of this”  he finally said.

“Im okay with friends with benefits, but the smoking needs to stop” Hajime got up still holding the pack. 

 “Fine”

“Fineeee?”

“Ill stop fucking smoking”

He held the pack out shaking it around lightly. “Break each and everyone one of these sticks in here if your serious”

Kyotani snatched the smokes from him opening it up , he reached for one and stopped to stare at the 7 smokes.  Its not like he paid for these smokes, Ayme always supplied him with them. He would never get sick from them because of his wolf so he could technically keep doing it without a problem… but … Hajime would smell it on him and .. he cant say why he wont get sick..He pulled a couple out of the pack halfway and broke them. Why..?  why was he..? A couple more snapped. He never listened to what anyone said, so why was he doing this? Why did he care? Another, one left.  Something about snapping these smokes was .. relieving. His wolf was happy and he felt stronger. Snap.  the pack fell on the island and Hajime smiled up at the angry boy. 

 “You actually did it.”

“Were you expecting me not too ?”

Hajime got closer to the boy running a hand up and down his chest. “Yeah if im honest, felt like you were gonna tell me to fuck off”

“Pft..” Kyotani touched Hajimes chest lifting the shirt again. 

“Like what you see?” he teased pulling Kyotani closer

“Shut up”

“Cmon… be a good boy for me” He whispered in his ear

Kyotani felt his cock feel hot at those words, good...boy..

“Sit down then.”

Hajime pulled back sitting back in his chair , his arm leaning on the island to support his head, he rubbed his lap slowly. “Okay, sitting.”

Kyotani rubbed his shoulder trying to ignore the tension in his pants. “Can you..”

“Hmm? “Say it again.”

“Say what? Be a good boy for me?” His cock was straining against his pants now. “Yes , christ. Yes okay?”

Hajime straightened out on the chair leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “Cmon Kyotani, be a good boy for me”

 “..ff.. Fuck..” Kyotani swatted the boys arms away and sat down on his lap , Hajime grabbed his hips kissing him again . he leaned back in the chair smirking , pulling Kyotani closer slipping his tongue in his mouth.

[bobasheebaby]

70 Scrubs Prompts

Yup, another prompt list. Most of these are actually light and funny, though some are a little heavier. I tried to pick ones that would work outside of a hospital setting. Again it’s super long so cutting at 15. 

1 “And who’s to say this isn’t what happens? Who can tell me that my fantasies won’t come true? Just this once ... “ — John JD Dorian

2 “Look NAME, I don’t know if it’s possible for me to put how I feel about you into words, but I guess I’ll give it a shot. I never really believed I’d find somebody that I love as much as you. I love you more than anything in the whole world. NAME, I love you more than FRIEND.” “Oh my god” “It's kind of hard for me to say, but it's true.” — John JD Dorian and Elliot Reid

3 “I grew up on the street ... No, not the hood. The Sesame Street.” — John JD Dorian

4 “As I looked at all the relationships around me ... Some that had gone on forever ... some that were reigniting ... and some that had just begun ... I realized something: It should have been me.” — John JD Dorian

5 “NAME, you can’t test love. When I met NAME, it seemed he/she was more in love with his/her best friend than with me.” “Honey, they’ve got that almond biscotti FRIEND loves, so I was wondering if I could borrow some money so I can get him/her some.” “No, you got him/her a present yesterday.” — Carla and Turk

6 “You’ve been wrong so many times that I'm not even going to say something is wrong anymore. I'm going to say that it's 'NAME'.

— Perry Cox

7 “I just took a pregnancy test, just tell me when a minute's up.” “I just put some pizza rolls on the microwave oven; the minute that bad boy rings we're good to go.” “Oh, my god, I can't stand it, 30 more seconds.” “OK baby, don't get too excited, they have to cool off for at least a minute.” — Carla and Turk

8 “So, uh, you going to lunch with your brother/sister?” “Yeah, I... well, you know, I would've invited you, but I already made the reservation for two.” “So call and change it to three.” “Ohh, I'm not gonna mess with that hostess. You know, she uses sharp tones.” — Elliot Reid and John JD Dorian

9 “Nothing in this world, that's worth having comes easy.” — Bob Kelso

10 “Yeah, I'm not that great with kids. They've got such tiny hands. It's creepy.” — Elliot Reid

11 “I love this moment so much, I want to have sex with it.” — Perry Cox

12 “Oh, my God! I'm gagging and vomiting at the same time. I'm... I'm gavomiting!” — Perry Cox

13 “So he/she has a cute butt. Everyone has a cute butt. I have a cute butt.” “You should bring it in someday.” — John JD Dorian & Carla Espinosa

14 “The problem with people who only want what they can’t have is that once they have what they want, they don’t want it anymore.” — John JD Dorian

15 “I guess when you care about someone, you’ll do whatever you can to make ’em happy.” —John JD Dorian

16 “The truth is, it is all your memories, the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones that make up who you are as a person” — John JD Dorian

17 “‘Cause even if it breaks your heart to be ‘just friends’, if you really care about someone, you’ll take the hit.“ — John JD Dorian

18 “The easiest way to lose something is to want it too badly.” — John JD Dorian

19 “Sometimes in life when you get what you want, you end up missing what you left behind.” — John JD Dorian

20 “Sex is only good for two things. Making babies and revenge.” — Jordan Sullivan

21 “What's going on?” “I love you too dumpling, but I have to work late. I'll make it up to you this weekend.” “NAME’s on the phone with his/her mom/dad/parent, so we're taking five.” — Jordan Sullivan, Ted Buckland and Perry Cox

22 “By the way, NAME’s here but I'm not going to kiss and tell.” “Oh really? Cause I just got your text that said "bone city".” “Oh really? That came through?” — JD and Elliot

23 “You're gonna love it here, sport.” “Get out while you still can.” “Uh...” “Seriously, get out while you still can.” — Bob Kelso, Ted Buckland, and Keith Dudemeister

24 “Ted, what are you doing?” “I like to do stomach crunches after lunch.” “Ted, lunch was four hours ago.” “Yep, I wasted most of my Tuesday.” “It's Wednesday.” “Aw, man! I missed SHOW!” — John JD Dorian and Ted Buckland

25 “Well, it took a whole tube of gel, but I finally got my hair down.” “No one male or female ever cared, NAME.” — Ted Buckland and Perry Cox

26 “Thirsty, huh?” “Helps the tears taste less bitter.” “Cheers.” — John JD Dorian and Ted Buckland

27 “I have to get ready man. I want my date with NAME to be perfect. What do you think about a romantic horseback ride on the beach?” “Ooh, like you and I did for your birthday.” “Yeah but except this time with two horses.” — John JD Dorian and Turk

28 “I am wearing red. Should I not be wearing red around her?” “She's pregnant, she's not a bull.” — Elliot Reid and Turk

29 “This is why the headache didn't go away, it is actually pronounced 'analgesic', not 'ANALgesic'. The pills go into your mouth.” — Turk

30 [She/he sees NAME holding a beer] “What are you doing? [He/she threatens to open it] “You better not open that.” [He/she opens it] “Okay, you better not drink it.” [He/she takes a sip] “All right, You better not enjoy it.” [He/she expresses enjoyment, person A bitch slaps his/her beer] “Did you just bitch slap my beer?” “Are you calling me a bitch?” “Yes. Yes, I am!” — Carla and Turk

31 “Is there another guy on this planet who is that sensitive?” “Okay, let it out. I've got you. NAME has got you. Hold me tighter, a little too tight...There is a good spot.” — Turk and JD

32 person a “This plan is fool proof.” Person c “That is impossible. You two are involved.” Person c “We will see about that!” [Person a and c crash into each other as they try to walk away] — JD, Perry Cox and Turk

33 person a “I don't think we have anymore wine. NAME, can I have some of yours?” [Person C’s narration: I felt like NAME was starting to blame me for all of this.] [person b Spills his/ her wine in person c’s face) “I spilled mine too, honey. You know what you should do? Ask for some NAME’s.” [Person C Spills his/her wine on his/her crotch] “I spilled mine too.” — Carla, Turk and JD

34 “Wait NAME! I have an idea.” “You have another idea? Well I've got to tell you, I'm done with your ideas and not just for now but forever! Okay, are we clear on that?”  “It's a good one.” “I'm listening.” — JD and Turk

35 “He/she is not allowed to dream about me. It gets too freaky in there.” “Cirque de Soleil freaky. One time, he/she was skinless.” — Carla and Turk

36 “How often do you make love?” “Twice today.” “Actually it was three times. You were asleep for the last one.” “Wow, that really happened? I thought it was weird that you were in one of my sex dreams.” — Marston, Turk and Carla

37 “How was your first stress-free day?” “Horrible. And you?” “Worse. Let's make a baby. If it doesn't work this time I'll kill myself.” “Not helping with the stress.” — Carla and Turk

38 “Dude, there you are. Two things; First, the aliens are here and they're wearing track suits.” “Oh, that's Nana.” — Turk and JD

39 “Are you nude right now?” “Yeah! How'd you know?” “Your voice is always higher when you're nude.” “That's true.” “It's not weird you know that at all.” —JD, Turk and Perry Cox

40 “You know, I actually like NAME. So, don't do that thing you always do.” “If you're referring to the game "Find the Saltine", relax. I don't even play that with NAME anymore.” [Later] “Behind your ear.” [Withdrawing Saltine from behind his ear] “My friend, you have found the Saltine. Uh, but, don't tell NAME we're still playing.”— Elliot Reid, JD and Turk

41 “Dude, he/she keeps a hug schedule with his/her friends!” “Okay, NAME ... looks like someone's getting crossed off their 2 o' clock spot and getting penciled in for never! How does that feel? Does it sting?” Person B Narration: He's hurting! Hug him/her ... hug him/her now! — Turk and JD

42 “Dude, don't sweat it - It says here that the ostrich is generally a docile creature.” “Thank God!” “It also says their kick can kill a man!” — Turk and JD

43 “Just don't repeat the same mistakes you made with me. For instance, don't speed down the road pretending your brakes are out. I don't care if it got you laid once in high school. It is not funny and I still have not forgiven you for killing that pony.” — Elliot Reid

44 “NAME, I don't photograph well. On my driver's license, I look like Gary Busey.” — Elliot Reid

45 “We have a very complicated past.” “Yeah, I hurt him/her, and I'm not proud.” Person B narration: I'm a little proud. — Elliot and JD

46 “NAME and I keep it superficial.” “Love the superficial. Dynamite teeth today!” “Oh thanks buddy!” “Sparkly.” “Yeah!” — Elliot and JD

47 “Will you tell me what NAME’s fantasy was?” “Nope.” “Did it involve chains?” “No.” “Whips?” “Mm-mm.” “Candle wax?” “No.” “Role-playing?” “No.” “Lasers?” “Mm-mm.” “Hamsters?” “Negative.” “Was he/she a Mexican apple thief?” “If only ...” — JD and Elliot

48 “Why don't you just move into my place?” “Oh, great, then we'll be two losers under one roof.” — Elliot and JD

49 “NAME, what you said before ... I knew you were right. Anyway, I'm sorry I got mad. You were wrong about one thing, though - we are moving forward.” “NAME, I'm thirty years old; I'm single, I'm homeless, and I'm pretty sure I just soiled myself.”

— Elliot and JD

50 Person A “Ohhh, my God, you're right.” Person B “Don't let him/her be your puppet-master.” Person C “Hey!” Person B “Hey.” Person C “What's up?” Person B “I have a headache.” Person C “Take some aspirin.” Person B “Don't tell me what to do! You're not the boss of me!” — Carla, Elliot and Jake

51 “I've never connected with a guy/girl like this before. I mean, even though it's only been two weeks, I already feel like I know NAME better than I know myself.” “What does he/she do for a living?” “I should know that.” — Elliot and Carla

52 “Look, the reason I've been acting so weird and having my friends hang around us all the time is because I really think that we have a shot for something great, and I don't wanna go and ruin it by sleeping with you too fast. I mean, what was I supposed to do?” “Well, you...you could have just told me that.” “Yes, but you're forgetting I'm a crazy person!” — Elliot and Jake

53 “I've seen the Wiggles live in concert ... twice.” “Did they perform 'Big Red Car'?” “They opened and closed the show with it. It was awesome.” — Perry Cox and Turk

54 “What's wrong with me?” “You're an annoying, whining man-child.” “That question wasn't directed to you!” “What question?” — JD and Perry Cox

55 “I’m notifying all my old boyfriends/girlfriends today that I'm officially off the market.” “I'm sure the 'pulse' setting on your shower head will be devastated!” — Elliot Reid and Perry Cox

56 “If there is one thing I have learned, it's that you can't schedule love.” “I think your credit card statement would beg to differ.” — Bob Kelso and Perry Cox

57 “Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present, Man/Woman Not Caring.” [points to self] — Perry Cox

58 “If you're worried about people seeing your ass, do what all the other girls do and tie a sweater around your waist.” — Perry Cox

59 “Should I talk slower or get a nurse that speaks fluent moron?” — Perry Cox

60 “Do you actually listen to yourself when you speak, or do you find you drift in and out?” — Perry Cox

61 [thinking] Why don't I ever listen to me? — JD

62 “And you know what else? I quit!” “No you don't!” “Well I'm leaving early today!” “No, you're not! You're coming back to my office to do busy work!” “Fine, but I'm getting a soda first!” “Whatever.” — Ted Buckland and Bob Kelso

63 “Your dog is creepy.” “Aww...be nice to Rowdy. The guy we bought him from used to keep him in a box full of old hats.” — Elliot and JD

64 “I thought we cared about each other ...” “Oh please, if you didn't want to sleep with me, you'd have done the same thing.” “Well, I'll tell you one thing, the last thing in the world I wanna do is sleep wit'cha now!” “Do me right here.” “Okay.” “See!” — JD and Elliot

65 “Huh! I put all those fliers up, and nobody wants me to live with them!” “Oh, come on, NAME. I'm sure you'll eventually find a roommate who's a... clean, non-smoking vegetarian that rinses the shower thoroughly after each usage.” “Oh, well, if you don't, it gets mildewy.” “You know, you should move in with my friend: Anal McLooney.” — Elliot and JD

66 “You know, I've been thinking a lot about us lately.” “Me too.” “God, you drive me crazy.” “Oh, you drive me crazy!” “Sometimes I just lay awake at night, thinking about how unbelievably lucky I am to have you in my life.” “Sometimes you're so controlling it makes me want to strangle you..” — Paul and Elliot

67 “Tonight, I am going to make all of your fantasies come true.” “You know, NAME, I would be happy just to have sex above the covers once.” “Yeah ... never gonna happen.” — Elliot and Paul

68 “You know, it's funny... when I said "I love you," it was an accident - and I never really loved you at all.” “That is an absolute riot.” — Elliot and Paul

69 “Okay, here's what you do: First you say that, even though our relationship is ending, you don't have any regrets.” “Oh, my God! Are you actually telling me how to break up with you?” “You're right. Go ahead.” “If you could just start me off, that'd be super.” — Paul and Elliot

70 Person A “You never explained that U2 thing, did you!” Person B “You know, I've been thinking about it, and maybe it's not such a bad thing that that happened! Right? I mean, things have been going really well between us, and maybe it was fate! I could've been looking at my Bel Biv Devoe CD and said, "I love Bel Biv Devoe" - which I do, by the way. And I'm not ashamed of it.” Person A and B “That girl is poison..." Person A “NAME, look, I just think that if you guys are meant to get to this point, it'll happen... naturally.” Person B “You're right! "I love U2!" Dammit! Why do I always have to say every little thing that comes into my head!? Ugh, I really wish you wouldn't stand so close to me after you take your hummus break. See! I didn't need to say that! I'm gonna tell him.” Person C “Love you!” Person B “Love you more!” Person A “Ugh!” Person B “You know what - brush your teeth, then judge me!” — Carla, Elliot and Paul

[theangrypokemaniac]

There's a sneering attitude that the dub is inherently inferior solely for being a dub, and when I say 'dub' I mean the American one. No one attacks the South American interpretation, funnily enough, or the variety that exist globally.

Why not if foreign languages are so abhorrent?  Do you think it's kewl to hate America?

That's so original you know.

If the moan centres on the dub changing certain things, well that's a pointless stance, because it's impossible to do otherwise.

What's accepted in one country is not always permitted elsewhere, so either you make those alterations or it's never shown. I'd prefer seeing a slightly toned down version rather than have it never reach the West at all.

This is without considering the technical obstacles that a direct translation brings. The words do have to fit the mouth movements, and if they don't, truncation must follow.

America and Japan are different; the population of the former are not going to comprehend the references to the latter's history and culture, which necessitates some divergence from the original to give it mass appeal.

Anime is a branch of entertainment. It has to attract the public's good will to stay in business. If impenetrable, it'll fail, with all the resulting unemployment and finacial losses that brings.

Those in charge of dubbing understandably think they're on safer ground promoting familiarity rather than the strange, but that's not to say Pokémon was stripped of its identity. On the contrary, it was like nothing I'd ever encountered before.

I may have watched Western cartoons then, but the idea of doing so now is silly. I won't give time to any modern animation unless it's Japanese. Growing up on the dub has not produced an ephemeral fan less serious or 'true'.

The 4Kids dub had wit, humour, deep emotion, suggestive comments and flights of fancy. The voices fitted the characters well.

Unlike the current one, where everyone sounds on the verge of vomiting, but then they're clearly working with substandard material on a miserly budget. You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear after all.

Dubs can be bad, but the very state of being a dub doesn't confer worthlessness automatically. Considering the work gone into them, attempting to gain your favour, it seems rude not to appreciate the time and energy spent in production.

Knowing a little about history, sub-only fanatics remind me of the kind of folk who opposed an English Bible, because it was too good for the oiks to read the word of God.

Of course it was alright for them, rich enough to be taught Latin, but not so much the ordinary man.

It amuses me how dozens dismiss the dub, but see no hypocrisy in using its evidence to further their ship or anti-ship arguments, so it can't be that revolting.

It's also bizarre that so many hold sacred the sub of a series currently in a frenzy to shed every aspect of its anime and Japanese origins, leaving a vague, rootless ghost, supposedly making it easier to slip down the gullet of the masses.

Pokémon I've seen referred to as a 'gateway drug', as in the anime that introduced a generation to the entire concept. This means the dub. You would not have got enough kids in the late Nineties to read a screen rather than watch it, and even today most would lose interest rapidly.

Where would you be without that dub? Unless you're Japanese, your first experience of Pokémon will have been a dub, and if not the American, the one where you live, which was only made because there was the funds available.

You may have then progressed to watching the sub, but only because that dub stirred love in your soul.

Where would the franchise be without that dub? You think Pokémon would've grown to be a world-wide obsession raking in billions by itself? No, it'd still be a solely Japanese phenomena, and most likely never lasted this long.

Its decades of supremacy rests on the quality of that dub. It sold games and merchandise to kids by the ton, giving an incentive to keep the series going. If you're not a fan from the first wave, then your favourite era would have never existed had it not been financially attractive carrying on.

The team who wrote the first film actually preferred the dub, moved to tears by its emotive use of music, therefore they aren't so precious as the fans.

Where would anime be without that dub? Pokémon brought it to the West. A handful slipped through previously, but made minor impression.

To those who would dismiss Pokémon entirely in favour of more 'worthy' output such as Studio Ghibli, I would say that Pokémon, first the games, then the programme they inspired, must have an integral quality to have caught on in Japan, which isn't exactly short on similar concepts.

To have gained popularity in a crowded market, and so fervently a dub became an option, can only have come about because it held a certain magic.

It was the dub that smashed a hole in the cultural barrier, setting free the tidal wave to engulf the world. In Pokémon's trail followed Digimon, Cardcaptors, Monster Rancher, Yu-Gi-Oh! et cetera.

Without Pokémon, I doubt they'd have been translated, and definitely never broadcast on mainstream television. That came about as channels desperately hunted down anything Japanese to serve as the next craze.

I really appreciated the effort made by 4Kids in converting every aspect of the series to suit American tastes, including changing text on signs, letters and books into English. I assumed this was standard practice until I watched others.

I could never be as involved in them as I was Pokémon because of that block. It was like being denied access to the deeper waters, fenced into the shallows, and implied a rushed dub, with little care shown but to chase the same crowd and money.

If personified, the dub 'n' sub wouldn't be one human being, but rather identical twins: the same to a casual observer, but easy to tell apart by the more attentive.

It's like the games: Red and Blue are versions of a single adventure, but not totally one. Take the dub and the sub the same way. They are parallel dimensions running on separate rails, and beyond reconciliation, and that's before we consider that, sub and dub alike, each generation has only a faint relation to its predecessor, working on its own whims.

Everyone has a favourite, or can like both, and there's nothing wrong in that, but so many are proud of the fact they hate the dub, as if it conveys a revered status of supremacy.

When Disney films are shown abroad, they too are translated, and I'm sure references and jokes are redesigned to make sense to the locals. It's no use selling yourself as a comedy then being surprised when the audience refuses to laugh, having no idea what you mean.

If people prefer that one, for being what introduced them to Disney as a whole, or as a fond memory of childhood, then so what?

I don't mind if their view of a character is minutely at odds with mine, having seen the original, because what they think is canon to their version, so can't be wrong.

I don't go round declaring every Disney dub to be pathetic by its nature, that viewers of them are of a lesser breed of fan for preferring their own tongue, even though more of the world's population understand English than they do Japanese.

If you enjoy one tailored to your country there's no crime in it, just as I like one at least comprehensible to mine. It's not even my culture, but I pick it up mostly.

The choice must be made on which to follow, and this blog runs on dub canon, as that has a claim on my heart. Just because I don't acknowledge what takes place in the sub doesn't mean I'm unaware of it, but it has no bearing on what I write.

The idea that the dub alters things willy-nilly without rhyme nor reason is also mistaken. Often it does it because the original does not make sense.

In the sub, I know Nanny and Pop-Pop are just a couple of old duffers taken at random and dropped in to a castle, supposedly as James's far away nannies.

Oh yeah, that's a cushy position. You doing a lot of child care from miles off?

Mind you, it used to describe 'em as 'caretakers' on Bulbapædia, as if Nan serves as housekeeper whilst Pop tends to the garden.

That's right. Ma and Pa finally got some work out of this pair of freeloaders.

They're not related, remember? No, no, absolutely not, no way. Of course their style reflects that. They just gave Pop a 'tache, thick eyebrows and a bigger nose, and Nan got a bun and lines in her hair, but there's certainly no connection. Oh no. Such a thing is ridiculous.

They're NOT family. No. Yet Hoenn James still panics they might learn he's joined Team Rocket, spending the whole episode trying to hide the truth.

Why? Who are servants to criticise the son of their employers? Why should their opinion be of any consequence to Hoenn James, especially when his parents, fiancée and butler are cognizant of reality?

Children of aristocrats are usually brought up by governesses, thus develop a stronger attachment to these figures rather than their parents, but that isn't the case here.

James lived with Ma and Pa, not the codgers minding the castle. He would have very little contact with distant employees compared to those who waited on him daily, so why seek out their approval?

Hoenn James apparently was permitted visits to Nan 'n' Pop, which is strange considering they're not relatives. Why them and not any other house-stters?

That's right, Ma and Pa sent their son to one of their properties without them, entrusting him to the care of two shrivelled pensioners of his size that he barely knew, and who could keel over at any minute. There are no other servants present. Apparently Nan and Pop clean an entire castle by themselves.

Oh, and they run a makeshift Pokémon sanctuary, but since it's not their home it has to be done with Ma and Pa's blessing, who also have to pay for it, but they're eevul aren't they?

The idea that somehow Nanny and Pop-Pop have not cottoned on to James's occupation by now is risible.

Servants gossip about their masters. I bet the entire household of his home know, and so in turn does the county. That Nan and Pop remain oblivious proves how isolated they are, for no one's thought to inform them.

When it came to dubbing it, they were made his grandparents, removing all the above nonsense. Of course he visits his nan and granddad, it's their gaff and their money funding the place, and it is likely his mother or father would keep James's job a secret, for fear the shock would finish 'em off.

It should do really. If they're not bothered by it that's a sign of where his rapscallion ways were inherited.

They aren't facially akin to Ma and Pa, but display the same additions, so if staff it's bloody lazy, as if nannies have to resemble your parents, but inventing a blood link excuses the slothful characterisation.

Every reference I've seen on Tumblr relating to the coffin-dodgers calls them Nanny and Pop-Pop. Apparently the dub decision is met with universal approval. It does have redeeming aspects then.

Now the sub writers, rather than ignore this development, took to it too. They aren't exactly bursting with ideas these days and are probably grateful for the lifelines offered.

Remembering James had parents, they forced a likeness between them and Nanny and Pop-Pop. How else do you explain the inexplicable ageing, even when Sinnoh Ma and Sinnoh Pa are younger than Ma and Pa?

I've also known for years that the sub has this woman as Jessie's foster mother, not Ma Jess, but that's stupid.

I can grasp the idea that Jessie and Ma might have endured extreme deprivation, considering that's what Team Rocket has brought to Jessie anyway, and that they may have lived at the bottom of Mew's mountain prior to Ma's death.

What I find difficult to take in is that social services (or as they're known where I live, the S.S.), however notoriously awful they are, would give a child to a mad bitch in a shack with no running water.

Come on, they have to at least pretend to be concerned for Jessie's welfare.

As Jessie is very young, bereavement can't have befallen her in the distant past, so how can she be happy this soon after becoming an orphan? How could the grieving period be a cherished memory?

If that woman's creaming off the money, why hasn't she fixed the place up by now? Where do the payments go, sniffing glue?

Then there's the depiction. If this is just some daft bint never to be mentioned again, why do they conceal her face? Who cares what she looks like when she's unimportant?

Here's another figure from Jessie's past. She isn't disguised, and why not when she too briefly appears and is then forgotten?

Who was she?

The only sort of characters they tended to hide were other members of Team Rocket:

During the early scenes featuring Giovanni, he was enveloped in shadow, adding both intrigue and a sense of menace.

Madame Boss also got this treatment, even though there was probably no intention to ever feature her in the anime. What's the use in keeping an appearance a mystery if it'll remain masked?

With that pattern, it implies this woman is in the same category, like Ma Jess.

When it came to animation, it definitely was intended to be a foster mother. Not her real one. No.

What did they do?

They gave her Jessie's skin tone and purple hair hanging down her back!

You know, like Ma Jess?

Any colour would've done. Any at all, and being anime I do mean any colour, but no. The choice was made to give her the looks of the exact person she's not meant to be!

Is it that surprising the dub simplified things?

I don't mind if you like the dub, sub, both, or any from around the world, but I'm tired of the smug condescension, as if we all agree the sub is the only one that counts, and that dub fans are grunting troglodytes, or not 'proper' aficionados.

None of us would be here were it not for the dub. Pokémon would not be here. I think it deserves some respect for how much of a difference it made, to my life and to yours.

[canimal]

1/2 Harry Potter was the first fandom I ever got into and Dramione was the first pairing I ever fell in love with. Despite that, I never really got involved with the fandom itself. I've branched out a lot now but I still love a good Dramione story. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that you and other authors have experienced such appalling behaviour - I swear we're not all like that! I'm hearing more and more about it and how common it is

2/2 Some of the things I've heard are so unnecessarily spiteful and leave a bad taste in the mouth that then reflects on the pairing, as it has done for you and other authors, and I really hate that. It gives the pairing a bad name. It's stupid as well because it's counter-intuitive - it's only going to stop authors from even wanting to write the pairing and drive people away from the ship! It still shocks me that people will go that far out of their way just to be nasty. Naive, I know

Oh, you are absolutely precious!  Yes, you are absolutely right.  Not all of you are like that.  I would even venture to say that the VAST majority of you aren’t like that.  It’s unfortunate, like you said, that a small number give the pairing a bad name.  There are lots of writers that I personally know who have stated they will never write another Dramione story again.  And these are wonderful writers.  It’s a damn shame because I’m sure the stories would’ve been incredible.  And you’re absolutely right again about it being counter-intuitive.  Some people believe that in order for their lights to shine (or their favorite authors’) that the lights of others have to be dimmed first.  That is NOT true at all.  There is plenty of room for all of us to shine!

I hate that my post may have discouraged some readers from branching out into writing their own Dramiones. (Sorry, @legioninabox! 😬) My personal experience isn’t indicative of everyone’s experiences, so I definitely say go forth and write more Dramiones.  I just foolishly hope that the readers will one day be kinder.  There are so many stories to choose from that many of them have become entitled and rude.  

Personally, I’ve never understood why anyone wants to be rude.  It’s not how I was raised and it actually irks me to no end when someone is rude.  But, one lesson I’ve continually learned as I’ve grown older is that not everyone feels the same way about rudeness. And some people who are incredibly rude actually think they’re being polite.  That one blows my mind.  I firmly believe that politeness is measured with different scales depending on which part of the world you are from.  My West Texas version of politeness is apparently a lot different than some others.  Or maybe I had the benefit of a momma who would smack me in the back of the head for not being kind. 🤷🏻‍♀️