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mischiefmaker615 · 1 year ago

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Tears of a Mermaid (Loki Love Story) Ch.13

'her skin is so soft..as if she never changed... i need her with me..in my life..always..i want to see her smile every time i wake..her laugh every time we meet..her thoughts- ideas- her mind to help mine..oh Mara.. even human now you don't realize just how different you are..'

Loki opened his eyes when he felt gentle fingers stroke through his hair, seeing his true desire before him with the cutest case of bedhead and indications of the events that occurred throughout the night. ''good morning my prince..'' she whispered and his smile instantly came.

''good morning my love'' he whispered back, scooting over to get closer before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, making her hum in pleasure and she relaxed against his chest. ''..how do you feel?''

''well..by the looks of it, it seems like i am truly human now, no tail'' she lightly teased before shifting a little against him ''though i am a bit..sore''

Loki smiled with a guilty look and an almost amused one as he brought a hand up to gently stroke her hair, his fingers playing with a lock ''that tends to happen the first time.. my apologies darling''

Mara couldn't help but chuckle as her mind went off to remember their night together ''whats pleasure without a little pain'' she teased and he smirked, leaning forward as his chest pressed against her bare back and he placed a kiss on her cheek, an arm pulling her closer to a spooning position

''you are magnificent darling..'' he seemed to pause as he felt her stillness and he gently placed a kiss on her shoulder ''..whats wrong?''

Mara bit her lip as she hesitated, seeming to still be in thought before she turned around, staying close as she looked up into his eyes ''..whats to become of me?''

Loki raised a brow at this ''what do you mean?''

''well..i'm human now, ..i left nothing really behind but i still don't have any memory of when i was a human back then to know who i am and what my capabilities are..what makes me, me'' she explained quietly and looked down ''what am i to do now?''

Loki seemed to search her face, almost knowing how it felt when he had found out his own truth about being a Frost Giant. a hand took her chin and allowed her to look at him with gentle eyes ''you start a new life Mara, i'll be here to take care of you as you grow and learn'' he told her and his hand moved to her cheek ''i want you to stay here with me..some day, be at my side when i am at a higher power..my queen'' he asked her, his words wanting her but his eyes begging her ''be my queen Mara..''

she looked at him, hearing his words as she hadn't taken a second to think it over before nodding, knowing already what she wanted. she sat up, turning so she was leaning against him and looking down at his face with a smile, his arm snaking around her waist with his fingers drawing pointless shapes on her smooth skin ''i will Loki, i will'' she smiled before dipping her head down to kiss him.

she was his, all his..and no longer having to keep her a secret.. he kissed her back passionately, loving her so much that just a simple peck could send him over the edge of passion and hunger for her. she was the only one who could calm him down and he hid a small pout as she pulled back to lay down on him again, relaxing nevertheless just to have her near. ''i'm going to have to learn..find myself again, but the memories i'll make will have you in them'' she smiled and her eyes moved to the window, watching the curtains flow in the wind that came through and the sun shinning its gold ''..i love you Loki..''

~~~

''she seem's to be doing well here'' Thor complimented as he joined Loki's side upon the balcony. down below Mara could be seen sparring with Sif, doing a decent job at it as well with only two weeks of practice.

''she's learning quickly.'' Loki replied, always being short and to the point with Thor so he wouldn't have to interact with him more than needed.

a flash towards the Biefrost caught their eye and they turned to see, seeing it had briefly been activated before returning in its place. Thor tensed before they turned around once a guard came running up, bowing briefly before speaking

''Amora has escaped my lords, she had disappeared to Midgard..''

''thank you, be sure to tell Odin i shall take care of it.'' Thor reported, his face serious just as much as his voice and the guard bowed before heading off to do just that. Thor was silent, almost looking troubled yet at the same time as if he knew what he had to do as they both turned back around to look before the courtyard.

perhaps Mara was right.. as much as it didn't bother Loki that Amora somehow escaped, quite expecting the events to happen eventually anyway, Thor did seem to be less of a fool than how he was prior to when Mara came into his life.. and if Amora was now in Midgard, he knew Mara would still be safe. his eyes looked over her as she spoke with Sif, spared with her and got back up when she fell. so much strength..persistence and patience..

within two weeks, Loki had managed to introduce her to those around the palace, presenting her as his chosen queen and lover. granted most took this as quite a surprise but excepted the fact quickly with only a small presented backstory to explain; Mara and Loki had met in the forest, she being orphaned and brought up in the forests of Asgard herself where she had very little social interaction, explaining her slight lack of social education. they believed it with no question and Frigga had already taken an instant liking to her. within the two weeks that had passed, Mara had learned a lot with the help of Sif, the warriors three and Loki even allowed Thor to slip in some skills as well, as far as knowledge outside the realms goes. the other's mainly were teaching her protection for herself and others via training and also how to social interact from what they deem to be fun. though seeing her drunk wasn't exactly easy for Loki, knowing her social entertainments would have to be limited if they were going to drink outside the palace but he quite enjoyed her first moments of everything.

~~~

''it's quite a different experience when your walking in rather than just swimming..'' Mara admitted as she walked in the water, giggling as she splashed him.

''as long as you don't slip'' he chuckled, staying close by as she kept her balance before the water was now chest deep. ''alright, now sway your arms around you to keep yourself afloat, off the ground'' he instructed and she bit her lip, doing as she was told.

her eyes looked down, a grin slowly growing as she went in small circles and giggled ''it's not as hard as you make it look-'' she teased and he pretended to be dramatic with a hand on his heart.

''it takes years of practice to be able to swim in waist deep water.''

Mara raised a brow before she stood, seeing that her swimming had brought her to exactly that height and she laughed, jumping on him and bringing him down as they fell in the water, Loki pulling her closer to shore so he layed on top of her, small waves splashing at their sides. ''you're doing well my darling, i'm proud of you.''

Mara smiled up at him happily before she kissed him, tangling her fingers in his wet hair before pulling back, a playful look on her face as she looked up at him ''you know.. i have to admit, this swimwear feels a bit uncomfortable..''

Loki glanced down at her body before smirking, his eyes flirting with hers ''i think i know how we could swim a bit more comfortably..''

~~~

her voice was just as beautiful, able to dazzle him regardless of her being human now and she never spoke of missing her old life. quite frankly, she told him she was happier, now that she was no longer lonely and stayed at his side when she wasn't learning or practicing. now and again she would wonder, but he would always keep an eye out for her, knowing he would always want to be there to protect her.

~~~

''gods it hurts!''

Loki rushed in the bathroom with no less then a knock and found her on the floor, clutching her side ''what wrong??''

''there's some type of..pain here'' she whimpered, a hand below her stomach and kept her legs closed tight ''and..''

Loki went over and kneeled down next to her, his eyes with concern as he placed a hand on the spot ''..and?''

Mara bit her lip as she looked just as worried as he was and glanced down at herself ''there's..blood coming from my..''

Loki's eyes widened a little and his body relaxed, almost hiding a smile as he sighed, sitting up against the wall ''you're alright Mara'' he chuckled.

''how is this alright?? i'm bleeding from my-''

''its perfectly normal my dear, it is something women tend to do once a month when there is no child in you, your body normally prepares itself for one, and one isn't produced, it tears down and starts over..something like that'' he explained and kissed her forehead ''that's what the pain is and the blood, you're alright, it doesn't last to long.''

Mara relaxed a little as wonder seemed to swim in her eyes, looking over herself with a hand on her stomach ''my body hates me for not baring a child? isn't that your fault?''

''-it's nobody's fault'' Loki defended himself and sighed ''a child just doesn't..show up every time we have-''

''ow!'' she yelped again, clutching her stomach as a wave seemed to wash over her again and he quickly sat up and got closer.

''its okay darling, lets get you to bed, i'll have one of the servants bring up a heat source to ease your muscles, i may know a spell that might help with the pain as well'' he reassured and carefully picked her up, her arm wrapping around him with the other still clutching her stomach.

''thank you Loki..'' she whimpered and he gave her a reassuring smile

''it will be alright darling-''

''..why not have a baby to get rid of the pain?''

''..i'm don't think that's how it works love, but i love your first idea..''

~~~

''i'd say she's getting better at hand to hand combat than you Thor'' Sif teased as she and Mara walked over and looked up at them as they watched from the balcony.

''perhaps, or perhaps better than you'' Thor teased and Sif laughed.

''that be enough for the day then'' Sif dismissed and Mara handed her her knuckle wraps with a sigh of exhaustion

''thank you Sif..we shall see you later in the dinning hall?''

''of course, until then'' Sif smiled and bowed at the princes, her eyes leaving Thor's last before heading off to return the equipment, Thor's smile widening as he watched her go

''i shall see you both there as well'' he told them briefly, already heading off to follow Sif with the obvious vibe of favoring her. Mara watched with a smile and turned back towards Loki with a giggle

''wasn't to long ago when we found ourselves in that state''

''who said it stopped?'' Loki smirked and pulled himself over the railing, jumping down onto the courtyard's grass to return to her side and they automatically began walking, finding themselves in the garden. ''..Mara..are you happy here?..i know the adjustment period wasn't easy and we put a lot on you in which you've had to learn but..how do you feel?''

Mara stayed silent a moment as her eyes scanned over the flowers, a smile coming to her lips before she stopped, Loki doing the same before he turned to face her. ''i've never been better Loki.. everything i've learned on how to act around people, know what things are and essential skills to live by, its helping shape the side i had been missing for centuries.. being limited out there, i was small'' she explained, her eyes remembering the waters she had been trapped in for so long yet her expression softened once they reached Loki's ''you saved me.. and i know this is where i belong'' she promised and wrapped her arms around him, his arms not hesitating to do the same as he sighed, relaxed.

''then you belong on Asgard?..'' he asked, his voice quiet as he thought back at the times where she had questioned the other realms, knowing how tense he had gotten when Thor had offered to take her to Midgard once, but to all the times she always refused, and this time she did the same with the shake of her head

''i belong at your side Loki, no matter where you are'' she smiled.

''gods Mara i love you..'' he breathed, leaning down to capture her lips in his as they shared a kiss, flowers changing colors around them as their emotions blended together, knowing this is how things were suppose to be.

''i love you too Loki.''

the sound of hooves got their attention and they turned, seeing Loki's horse trotting over from the courtyard paths freely and stopped once it reached them. Loki took hold of its reins that hung down, stabilizing him before a grin formed on his lips, almost all of them having the same idea as he looked at Mara ''..to our cave?''

''as long as you don't hit your head on the way'' she winked.

•Thank you all for supporting and reading this story! this is the final chapter. please check out my page for other stories like this and more ♥ love you all!!

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#loki x reader smut #loki odinson #loki fluff #loki god of mischief #loki x reader #loki fanfic #loki laufeyson #loki smut #lokifluff #loki #Youtube

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sibylsleaves · 2 months ago

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to build on your ep6 post bc I think its really interesting - the effect of this almost always comes down to the season-opening disasters + pacing. s1 excluded, the disaster episodes are so big you almost always need room to breathe between, so theres usually some episode with lighter content in between the opening eps and ~ep 6. and I actually think monsters doesnt fit because the pattern was slightly different in s3, and so they have a lighter episode sandwiched between two more dramatic/dense ones (rage and athena begins). also when you consider s4 having a 2 ep disaster, this pattern holds but buck begins ends up being the defacto ep 6 of that season, because everything is shifted. s5 is also a bit funky with the 506/507 swap but generally it agrees with this pacing too - my thought is opening diaster + home and away are dense/dramatic, followed by peer pressure/ghost stories, building to the more actiony/dramatic brawl in cell block 911/defend in place is what they intended (also for s6 you have to consider the tanya kingston/carter family plot the big disaster for the pattern to work lol). anddd all that said looks like theyre following the pattern again - diaster arc, followed by two more digestable episodes (likely mara homecoming ep and fun buck ep5 plot) before ramping up to whatever theyre cooking for episode 6 lol. exciting!!

Yeah that's a really good point. When you look season to season at 911 the way they pace them tends to be fairly consistent, although it's upset by having so many weird shortened seasons (s1 s4 & s7). And like Monsters, Jinx is also a really light-hearted episode, it just happens to be a particularly excellent one! (I do really like Monsters and I actually suspect some of the reason that episode is not a major one is just by virtue of it falling on Halloween week and them wanting to do a Halloween episode--saving their major Athena Begins episode for ep 7).

But however we get there the sixth episode in a season just tends to be really good so I'm definitely looking forward to seeing what they do this season, since we've already gotten a couple little hints as to what it might entail (big things for Buck, potentially big character thing for Eddie + shaving his mustache).

But also reminding myself s6 is SOOOO early in a full 18 episode season and there's so much yet to come that even the cast doesn't know about yet. and probably Tim.

#sibyl answers #anon

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kaminocasey · 1 year ago

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Bonsoir Chapter 11: Sapphire Moonlight

Summary: Gregor and Cassia get up to fun in the bookshop.

Pairing: Gregor x OC!Cassia Nu

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI; Smut, Unprotected sex between partners (wrap it up friends), Oral (f receiving), public sex, exhibitionism? Thigh Riding, Angst-ish, mentions of grief.

WC: 6K

A/N: It's taken me forever, but here it is! I'm very excited about this chapter. I've been looking forward to this one for SO LONG. Just ask @idledreams lol. Thank you for always getting excited about Bonsoir and encouraging me! It means more than you know!!! You're helping keep this story alive and I appreciate you so much, my friend! BY THE WAY, please go check this art that idledreams did for Bonsoir! And also this incredible art by my friend @dumfanting!!! <3 <3 <3

Bonsoir Masterlist │Bonsoir Playlist │Taglist Form

The sound of blaster fire is everywhere. Gregor looks around, unsure where it’s even coming from. But it sounds like an entire warzone. He doesn’t see anything or anyone. But the blaster fire is so loud… He starts to walk back toward where the base is supposed to be.

Until he trips over something. No, not not something. Someone. He looks and sees Dyer, dead. And then sees Noff. Alfie. Lore. They’re all dead. They’re gone.

He’s truly alone. His brothers are really gone.

And then he sees Cassia, lying next to Dyer, eyes closed, skin more pale than usual, red hair fanned around her. Gregor drops down to her, sobbing, muttering unintelligibly, begging for her to wake up.

He’s the only one left… until he hears one last blaster shot and he’s knocked back into his pile of brothers, away from Cassia.

He clutches at his chest, knowing this is the end.

Gregor wakes up, gasping for air, sweat pouring down his neck. He clutches at his chest, panting. Cassia’s already awake, trying to get him to focus on her.

“Gregor, Gregor. It’s okay. You’re alright.” She tries to cup his face but his eyes are still unfocused, his mind still on his dream. “You’re safe. I’ve got you. I promise you’re safe.”

He finally snaps out of it, chest heaving as he focuses on the love of his life. She’s right there in front of him. She’s alright. Gregor breaks into a sob, clinging to her instantly, molding himself to her momentarily.

“Gregor?” She whispers, scared for him.

He pulls away, resting his forehead against hers. Tears still stain his cheeks but Cassia doesn’t mind. She just wants to know if he’s okay.

“I’m so sorry…” He wipes his eyes, embarrassed to open them. “I’m so sorry… I’m so-”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” She cups his face and kisses him softly. “It’s okay. I’m here if you want to talk about it. If not, that’s okay too. But I’m not going anywhere.”

His breathing starts to slow down as he realizes that Cassia is okay. That she’s right here with him. He makes a note to comm Dyer later, though.

“I love you.” She murmurs against his lips.

He squeezes her hands that still bring comfort against his cheeks. “I love you.”

Cassia pulls Gregor back down to the pillows, pulling him into her arms, as she spoons him, resting her arms around his torso and her cheek against his warm back.

Gregor may never understand just what he did to deserve such an angel in his life. The way that she brings him immediate comfort… and peace. He won’t complain, though.

“Thank you.” He murmurs, softly, pulling her hand up to his lips and kissing it before closing his eyes.

Gregor doesn’t go back to sleep, but Cassia does even though she tries to wait for him to. He doesn’t blame her. He knows she’s been staying up late the past few nights waiting for Mara to comm her. After a while, before he knows that Cassia’s alarm is going to go off, he quietly climbs out of bed to feed Wedge and make a pot of caf. Two things he doesn’t mind at all doing because they make him feel as if he belongs in her world, like it’s their world. He supposes it is now.

When Cassia’s alarm goes off, Gregor comes back into the bedroom with a warm cup of caf, sitting it on her bedside table.

“Good morning, cyare.” He smooths her hair out of her face, smiling down at her.

“Good morning.” She leans up toward him and kisses him gently before sitting up and stretching. “How long have you been up?”

Debating whether or not he should tell the truth, he hands her the cup. “Not long.”

She sees right through his bullshit, though. Because of course she does.

“You didn’t go back to sleep, did you?” She takes a sip of the warm caf.

He lets out a soft sigh. “No. I didn’t.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” She offers, softly.

He shakes his head with a soft, grateful smile. “Maybe later.”

“Alright.” She squeezes his thigh, not wanting to push him. “Breakfast?”

“Sounds good, darling.” He smiles at her, appreciatively, kissing her softly.

He’d always appreciate her softness.

Later in the shop, it turns out to be a slow day, so Cassia takes the initiative to comm Mara, deciding that now is as good a time as any. It’s something she’s been dreading slightly. It’s a new feeling… one she doesn’t much care for.

Leaning on the counter, away from Gregor, she comms Mara. Something she’d been putting off for a bit. What if Mara had decided she didn’t need Cassia anymore? What if Mara realized that Cassia had always needed her more than she needed Cassia? She doesn’t know how she would even handle that loss.

“Hey.” Mara’s holo figure stands on the holo-comm in front of Cassia.

“Hey.” Cassia smiles, nervously.

It’s quiet for only a second before both of them say “I’m so sorry.”

They chuckle, smiling sheepishly at each other.

“I really miss you.” Cassia and Mara both speak at the same time and can’t help but relax, smiling at the other.

“How is Dyer doing?” Cassia asks.

Gregor’s ears perk up at his brother’s name.

“He’s good. The procedure went just fine. Stone as well.” Mara tells her.

“Maker, that’s so good to hear. Thank you for letting me know.” Cassia nods.

As Cassia talks to Mara, Gregor can’t help but smile up at her, at the relaxation in her shoulders. He knows how stressed she’s been from this tension with Mara. He knows how difficult it can be to have any sort of conflict with a sibling type. He hated fighting with his vod.

As he takes her in, he can’t help but let his eyes wander down from her shoulders to her bare legs until he stops at the hem of her dress. As she raises up slightly, he realizes something.

Is she…

He catches a flash of her ass, completely bare. At the realization that she’s not wearing any underwear, he nearly catches on fire in the seat that he’s in in her office.

“We’ll be back tonight.” He hears Mara tell her.

“I can’t wait to see you guys.” Cassia tells her.

“Me too. Dyer wants me to tell you, to tell Gregor, he said hey.” He can hear the amusement in Mara’s voice.

“I’ll tell him.” Cassia laughs, and Maker, does he love that sound. “So, dinner tonight?”

“Sounds perfect. See you soon.” Mara tells her.

“See you soon.” Cassia replies, hanging up and the moment that Gregor hears the ‘beep’ of the comm going off, he’s up, out of the chair, crossing the office to Cassia in three strides and pinning her up against the counter, like magnets.

“Tell me, darling… Did you do it on purpose?” He purrs in her ear, smirking.

“Do what?” She chuckles, knowingly.

“Don’t play dumb.” He kisses her shoulder, grinding his hardening length up against her ass, making her dress rise up a bit. It’s still a bit nerve wracking… this intimacy with Cassia. His body knows her. His heart knows her. But his mind is still catching up.

He runs his hand from her waist down to cup her ass, giving her a firm squeeze.

“Do you know what you do to me?” He whispers.

“Mm. Why do you think I decided against underwear today?” She teases him, wiggling against him, riling him up.

“Fuck… Cash…” He pushes up against her again, running his hand up into her hair and gripping, making her let out a soft, needy whimper.

She pulls up her dress over her ass and he nearly drops to his knees.

“I need you, please…” She begs.

“Yes, ma’am.” He lets go of her hair and sinks to his knees behind her.

Gregor’s first instinct is to worship her like the absolute goddess she is. But there’s no time. Someone could walk into the shop at any second, so he needs to be quick. He really needs to make her cum first, though.

He slides his hands up the back of her thighs, settling on her cheeks, spreading them slightly so he can get a perfect view of the pussy he’d love to build an entire religion off of.

Fuck, she’s perfect, he thinks to himself before tracing his tongue up her folds, making her cry out into the shop. He slides his tongue into her and the taste is almost overwhelmingly good.

Wow, she’s already soaked. She’s been thinking about this, hasn’t she?

“Maker, you taste so fucking good.” He hums with a smirk.

“Yeah, well…” She pants, nervously looking up at the door, watching for customers. “I don’t think I’ll ever get over how good you are with that tongue.”

“You better not.” He swats her ass, playfully and she jumps at the sound, making him chuckle.

He lets his fingers travel to her sensitive clit, teasing her so that she lets her legs fall apart more.

“You’re already so close to dripping, love. Tell me what you were thinking of.” He starts to lick into her again and she lets out another whimper, seemingly unable to do so. “I’m gonna stop if you don’t.”

He starts to pull away from her pussy but she grabs his hair and pulls him back to her, desperately.

“No… please please don’t stop.” She begs, her voice low and full of need.

He couldn’t deny her even if he wanted to, but he loves to tease.

“Then tell me what you were thinking of.” He continues sucking and teasing her dripping cunt.

“I… I was… thinking about you. About you fucking me�� like this.” She admits, glancing at the door with a certain alertness so they don’t get caught.

“Is that what you want?” He continues rubbing her clit and she can’t help but grind back against his hand. “You want my cock, cyare?”

“Please… I need it.” Cassia nods. “Need to feel you inside me.”

Gregor’s back up on his feet in no time, releasing his length from its confinements, urging her to spread her legs just a little bit further apart. She understands and does so, so that he can tease her clit with the head of his cock.

“Oh…” She whispers as his cock gathers up her slick between her folds, pushing toward her entrance.

Gregor pushes her on her front so that her chest is against the cold counter and pushes into her in one thrust, making both of them moan breathlessly.

“Fuck me… I’ll never get over how well you take me.” He runs his hand down her back, causing goosebumps to appear all over her fair skin.

Leaning over her, he places a gentle kiss to her shoulder blade. He feels her clench around him and he nearly cums right then and there. He starts to thrust into Cassia, snaking a hand around to her pussy, rubbing her clit, making her legs buckle as she lets out a soft whine. Holding her steady with his other hand, the slap of skin against skin is the only sound in the bookstore and it’s like music to Gregor’s ears.

“You’re so perfect, Cash… Do you know how much I’ve missed this? Missed you?” He rambles, squeezing her hip. “I was made… for you… not war.”

She nods in agreement, unable to form coherent words.

“Does this remind you of our first night together? Me fucking you where anyone could walk by and see?” His voice is low, full of need.

She whimpers. “Y-yes.”

“Does it turn you on knowing anyone could walk in and see you bent over for me, giving it to you so good that you’re finally at a loss for words?” He slams into her and she smacks her hand on the counter with a groan.

“Yes… fuck.” She murmurs, her voice breaking. “I’m… so close…”

“I know you are.” He kisses her neck again and breathes her in.

“I… I was made for you too, you know.” She rests her cheek on the cool surface, glancing back at him.

Gregor starts to feel that familiar lump in his throat like he’s about to tear up again, so to ground himself, he lets go of her hip and grips her hand on the counter and she immediately intertwines their fingers together. Their hands together are such a lovely sight to him.

“I love you.” She breathes before letting out the most beautiful cry as she cums around his cock, her pussy fluttering around him in the best way possible.

Exquisite. Absolutely perfect. A fucking angel.

“Maker, I love you.” He groans as he thrusts three more times before painting her walls with himself.

They both stay like that for a moment, breathing in time with each other. When Gregor pulls out, tucking himself away, she turns around, flinging her arms around his neck and kissing him, backing him up against the doorway to the office. His hands find her hips again, giving her one last squeeze before seeing a customer start to come in the door.

The familiar chimes of a customer coming in fills the space that was just filled with the ungodly sound of skin against skin and the most beautiful moans he’d ever heard in his life.

“Hi, welcome to the spine! Let me know if there’s anything I can help you with!” Cassia’s sweet, cheery voice rings out but Gregor doesn’t miss the slight pant in her breath and the cum dripping down her leg.

It nearly makes him hard again as he goes and sits in the office to read a book that Cassia had picked out for him earlier that morning. When she turns around, giving him a devilish smirk that Gregor himself had perfected, he knows exactly where he’s taking her tonight after dinner with Mara and Dyer.

“Shop’s closed.” Cassia peeks her head into the office after flipping the closed sign, finding Gregor reading the book he picked out off one of the shelves this morning after their… “activity”.

He looks up from his book, grinning at her immediately, making her heart clench at the sight. Marking his place and putting the book down on the table next to the chair for tomorrow, he follows Cassia back upstairs. She has to admit, finding him in the chair like that reading really did something to her. Her heart and her core.

“Was it a good book?” She asks him, getting Wedge’s food down from the top of the cabinet and filling his bowl.

“Yeah, it was. It was about a woman who had an accident and lost her memory and her husband did everything he could to try to make her remember him and their relationship.” He explains.

“Oh…” She murmurs, looking up at him from the floor as she pets Wedge while he eats.

He chuckles. “A bit on the nose, isn’t it?”

She laughs and gets up, wrapping her arms around Gregor’s waist. “Do you know how it ends?”

“I do not. I hope well.” He kisses her on the head. “Do you know?”

“I don’t, actually. You’ll have to let me know.” She grins up at him as she starts to pick up the living room a bit. “I’m thinking about ordering in for dinner. I don’t really feel like cooking. What do you think?”

“You know I’ll eat just about anything.” He grins as he sits down on the couch, pulling her into his lap with her back against the pillows on the couch, burying his face in her neck as he starts to kiss her. “And I do mean anything.”

She can’t help the soft moan that escapes her lips as his fingers start to trail down to her warmth.

“G-Gregor…” She moans as he starts to tease her still wet folds. “They’ll be here… any second. It’ll have to wait until after dinner.”

He groans. “Alright. But I have a surprise for you after dinner.”

She looks at him, curiously. “A surprise?”

He nods with a grin. “A surprise.”

“What sort of surprise?” Cassia presses, grinning.

“The sort of surprise where I don’t tell you what it is so that you’ll be surprised.” He kisses her neck.

She lets out a fake sigh. “Fine.”

Ever since Cassia was young, she’d not been big on surprises. But Gregor seems to be excited about it, so she can’t bring herself to tell him that. She pulls her comm off the caf table and orders the take out to be delivered, staying comfortable in Gregor’s lap as he caresses her bare thigh.

When she tosses the comm back onto the table, she turns her focus to Gregor again, cupping his cheek. He closes his eyes and leans into her touch immediately.

“You’re so beautiful. You know that?” He murmurs. “Inside and out.”

Cassia goes warm in the face and leans up to pull him to her so she can kiss him. He cages himself over her, as if he’s protecting her. But really he feels as if she’s the one protecting him. All of a sudden, he feels that all too familiar lump in his throat and the tears forming in his eyes. He squeezes his eyes shut and buries his face in Cassia’s hair, just hoping she doesn’t notice.

She does, though. She feels his tears against her neck and wants so desperately to help him.

“Gregor?” She murmurs as she cards her fingers through his hair.

“Hm?”

“Do you want me to ask about it, or would you rather I try to distract you?” She offers.

Maker, she’s so sweet. How he got so lucky, Gregor truly will never know.

“Distract me, darling.” He murmurs into her neck as he lays on his side on the couch in between her and the cushions.

She wipes his tears from his cheeks and leans in to kiss him. He immediately pulls her body against his, squeezing her ass as she throws her leg over his.

“I like this distraction.” He chuckles.

She smiles, softly. “I thought you might.”

His fingers slide closer to her warmth, waiting for her to tell him to stop but she doesn’t. She just smiles at him and he kisses her again as he slides his fingers into her. The breathy gasp that escapes her lips is like fucking music.

“Feel good?” He whispers.

She nods against his forehead, closing her eyes with a smile. That’s not enough for Gregor. He needs to hear her voice.

“Tell me.” He pulls her as close as possible and bites her jaw, teasingly.

“Feels so good.” She whimpers.

“Good girl.” He grins as she moves her leg away from his so he can move down her body, prepared to taste her as he did this morning, just as the doorbell rings indicating that Mara and Dyer are here.

He groans against her stomach and Cassia can’t help but laugh.

“To be continued?” She offers.

“Yes please.” He sits up with a sly smirk and she can’t help but wonder what the surprise is.

She gets up off the couch and goes to answer the door to let Mara and Dyer in. Gregor stands up, situating himself so the slight tent in his pants isn’t as noticeable.

“Gregor.” Gregor hears Dyer and looks up just in time to be engulfed in a warm hug from his brother.

“Glad to have you back.” Gregor pats Dyer on the back. “You feeling okay?”

Dyer nods. “Doing alright.”

“Good.” Gregor squeezes his brother’s shoulder, smiling over at Cassia as she and Mara get down a bottle of wine and start chatting in the kitchen.

For the first time in his life, he feels at peace for a moment. He just wishes that the rest of his Foxtrot vod could be here. He tries to not think too much of it, not wanting to cry in front of Dyer and Mara.

So he doesn’t think about it, he walks into the kitchen with Dyer behind him, wrapping his arm around Cassia. As if she could sense the anxiety in him, she wraps her arms around his torso, giving him an encouraging and calming squeeze. He can feel the anxiety practically drain from his body right away as he kisses her on the forehead.

“Do you want to talk about funeral arrangements?” Mara asks Cassia, leaning on the island counter after pouring herself a glass of wine.

“We’re here for whatever you need.” Dyer assures Cassia with a smile.

Gregor’s chest tightens at the love that these two have for Cassia. He can’t help but be proud of his vod.

“I was thinking that we could maybe spread her ashes in the Western Sea, at our park?” Cassia looks up at Gregor when she says ‘our’ and it makes Gregor’s heart race.

Our park. That’s exactly what it is, isn’t it, he thinks to himself. But it works anyway, because that’s where he wanted to take her for the surprise, anyway.

“I think that’s a great idea, darling.” He grins down at her.

Her heart and stomach flutter at the term of endearment. “Perfect.”

Mara reaches out and squeezes Cassia’s hand. “Are you okay?”

Cassia nods, remembering what she saw in the Jedi Temple and tries to push the memory to the very back of her mind.

“I uh… I keep thinking… about how we won’t be getting any more postcards from Joc…” Cassia’s voice slightly breaks and Gregor pulls her into him so he can shield her from the hurt she’s experiencing.

“Oh, Cash…” Mara puts down the wine and comes and wraps her arms around Cassia and Gregor. “Nothing we can say will make it okay, but we’re here.”

“I appreciate you guys.” Cassia murmurs, quietly.

The doorbell buzzes again, indicating the food is here. Mara offers to go get it since Dyer and Gregor can’t. Cassia reaches up on her toes and kisses Gregor on the cheek and then goes to set the table.

She can’t help but wonder when the pain of all this loss will subside. Will she always be so sad? Will she always hurt? Will she always miss them?

She looks up at Gregor and Mara and Dyer and thinks to herself about how much her grandparents would love them like she loves them. She’s glad that Mara got to know them, though.

As they all sit around the take out boxes, passing each other the different boxes of food to dish out onto their plates, she can’t help but smile at them. Her family. They make everything worth it.

“What’s up?” Mara notices Cassia’s staring.

“Nothing.” Cassia smiles softly with a half shrug. “I just love you guys.” “We love you too.” Mara reaches across the table to squeeze Cassia’s hand again and then they all dig in.

As they all eat, Gregor and Dyer take turns telling stories of the Foxtrot group and Cassia and Mara take turns telling stories of their childhoods. The moment of peace that Cassia’s been waiting for is finally here. Everything is alright for the most part. For just a moment, at least. If there were a way for Cassia to pause this moment, just to make it last a little bit longer, she would.

After they finish eating, while Cassia talks to Mara and Dyer, Gregor sneaks about their apartment, getting a blanket and another bottle of wine and runs it all down to the speeder, hiding it in the trunk.

“Are you guys ready?” Gregor asks in the doorway, trying to be nonchalant.

“Yes.” Cassia smiles.

“We are.” Dyer nods.

“We’re gonna drive separately though, if that’s alright.” Mara smirks at Gregor, knowingly.

Is Mara a mind reader? Does she know about his plans? Gregor looks at her with suspicious amusement as he gives her a nod, but Cassia doesn’t notice.

Maybe Mara is just intuitive, Gregor thinks to himself.

Mara and Dyer head out first as Cassia tells Wedge that they’ll be back in a little bit. Gregor’s chest tightens at the sight. It doesn’t take a genius to know that he wants to marry her. He’s seen in holofilms that if people ask their partners to marry them, they’d usually give them a ring or some sort of token. He doesn’t really have any money to his name, but he thinks that he has some sort of idea of what he could use…

Cassia joins Gregor by the door and with his new idea in his mind, he can’t help but kiss her.

“What was that for?” She grins up at him, warming his insides.

“Just couldn’t help myself.” He brushes her fiery hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear and she leans into his touch.

When he lets go of her, he leads her down to the speeder and Cassia gets in on the passenger side, letting him drive as she curls into his side. Gregor doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to the effect she has on him.

She rests her head on his shoulder as he drives down the busy skylanes that are glowing brilliantly under the moonlight and the lights of the city.

“Do you like living on Coruscant?” He asks her.

“It has its pros and cons.” She murmurs.

“Pros?” He smirks.

“I met Mara here. My bookstore is here. And I met you here.” She smiles up at him before kissing his neck.

He squeezes her shoulder, encouragingly. “And cons?”

She shrugs slightly. “I guess… the busy-ness of it all. Light pollution…”

“If you could move anywhere at all, where would it be?” He asks.

“I don’t know. I’ve not given it much thought. What’s your favorite planet you’ve seen so far?” She asks, squeezing his thigh.

“Hmm… Coruscant.” He teases.

“Because of me?” She grins widely.

“You know it, cyare.” He chuckles.

“I love when you call me that.” Cassia hums, softly.

“Good. Because you are my beloved and my beloved you’ll always be.” He kisses her on the head.

When they arrive at the park, just shortly after Mara and Dyer arrive, they park the speeder, noticing that it’s pretty much dead, no other people seem to be around, thankfully.

“Do you know this park doesn’t have a name?” Gregor asks Cassia as he holds Joc’s ashes for Cassia.

“Does it not?” She asks, looking up at him.

“I’ve decided to name it, though.” He takes her hand.

“Is that right?” She smirks, thinking he’s teasing her.

“Nu Park.” He brings her hand up to his lips. “For you and Jocasta.”

Cassia’s lips part and tears well up in her eyes at the sentiment. All she can do is wrap her arms around his tall frame and bury her face in his warm chest.

“I love you, Cassia.” He murmurs, kissing her on the top of the head. “There’s nothing in this galaxy I wouldn’t do for you.”

She fully believes him when he says it. Afterall, he’s proven himself time and time again.

“Come on, darling.” He guides her over toward Mara and Dyer as she wipes her tears with her long sleeve of her cardigan.

She allows Gregor to guide her toward their friends near the edge of the water and Mara and Dyer both give her an encouraging smile.

Cassia lets out a breath, taking Joc’s ashes from Dyer. “How do we even start these things?”

“After battles, if we lost a brother, we’d tell stories of him that brought us joy.” Dyer tells Cassia, gently. “If you want to share stories of Jocasta, we’re here to listen. If you want there to be quiet, we’ll just stand here with you.”

Mara nods in agreement, giving her partner an appreciative, knowing smile.

Gregor sees just how much Dyer has come to care for Cassia and it warms his heart immensely. How lucky he was to have someone his own brother cares for, someone he knows he can trust were something ever to happen to Gregor again.

She gives Dyer a grateful, sad smile.

“When I was little… Aunt Joc would come to visit. My grandmother always seemed so unapologetically herself when Joc was around. They’d tell stories of their childhoods, laugh about everything together. Joc would bring stories of great Jedi throughout the galaxy.” Cassia murmurs, looking out at the water. “I remember… It was late one night when she showed up. It had been a bad day at the temple, I think. Something big happened. She and my grandmother thought I was asleep, but I was listening to what they were saying. Joc had said she felt some sort of disturbance in the Force… and my grandmother got angry with her… she accused Joc of wanting to take me away to the temple… I didn’t understand at the time… but now… I think she thought I could be like her… My grandmother insisted I never showed any signs and that she wouldn’t allow the Jedi to take me. I… don’t know why I’m just now bringing this up…I know that I’m not like Joc. It’s just not possible. I would’ve seen signs… But it’s nice to think that maybe I could’ve been like her… I really looked up to her, you know?”

Mara squeezes Cassia’s hand.

“I’ll really miss talking about books with her.” Cassia says finally, before opening up the urn and tossing the ashes into the sea. “May the Force be with you, Aunt Joc.”

And something inside Cassia speaks so softly, she almost thought she’d imagined it. Like a ghostly whisper just behind her.

And with you…

After the last bit of ash hits the sea, Mara takes the urn for her and screws it back shut. Dyer puts it into a bag for Cassia and then hands it to Gregor to hold onto. Quite the little team we make, Gregor thinks, but no, that’s not quite right, is it? We’re more than that. We’re aliit. Family.

Aliit ori'shya tal'din.

Family is more than blood.

After Mara and Dyer leave, Cassia stands there at the edge of the water, quietly, for a bit longer. Not that she really needed the silence. The night was just so calming. Peaceful.

“I fell in love with you right here, you know.” Gregor appears again after walking away to do something and smiles down at Cassia, taking her hand.

She snaps out of the sea-induced trance and looks up at the man next to her.

“Did you really?” She grins, going warm all over.

He nods. “The moment you put that bracelet on my wrist, I was done for.”

His memory may come and go some days, but he knows without a doubt, he loved Cassia right away. He’ll never be able to convey just how happy he is that that night came back to him.

“I fell for you that night, too.”

Gregor sweeps her into his arms, smirking teasingly. “What? You, the hopeless romantic? Surely not.”

She playfully pushes him and when she turns around to walk back to the speeder, she finds a lantern lit picnic waiting. She lets out a soft gasp, full of surprise.

Oh, this is the surprise, she thinks with excitement.

“I love that about you, by the way. I love that you’re hopelessly romantic and believe in love at first sight. You made me believe in those things too.” Gregor slides his arms back around her as he rests his forehead against hers.

She looks up into his warm brown eyes and smiles. “You make it easy to believe in those things.”

Gregor brushes his lips against Cassia’s and she sighs against him. He pulls away momentarily to gently guide her down to the blanket. When he looks at her fully, he starts to tear up again.

“Oh, Gregor.” She murmurs, squeezing her hand.

He lets out a laugh. “No, no. It’s just… you’re so beautiful in this moonlight that it physically makes me want to cry.”

She can’t help but kiss him. He’s just so sweet and makes her whole body go so warm with love. But he kisses her back. And continues kissing her until they're both panting against each other.

“You’re everything.” He whispers as she climbs into his lap, straddling one thigh.

“You are.” She grins as she lets out a breathy whimper when her warmth brushes against his thigh.

His hands fly to her waist immediately, anchoring her to himself. “I can’t live without you.”

“You never have to again.” She whispers between moans as he helps her grind against his thigh.

Gregor’s practically mesmerized by the sight of the love of his life, looking so innocent and sweet in her pink skirt while she does such sinful things to his thigh, emitting the sweetest sounds.

Heat courses throughout Cassia’s whole body as she continues pushing her warmth against Gregor’s thick thigh. She’d be lying if she said she’d not dreamt of doing this since she met him. But for some reason, it just never happened. Until right now.

It’s the most incredible feeling. Her still bare warmth against the fabric of his pants is doing something so different to her.

“This reminds me of the first night we met.” She tells him, breathlessly, remembering this morning when he asked her if their escapades in The Spine reminded her of their first night together.

She thought it did. But this… out in the open in the park, is exactly like their first night. But with something new. Something more. Something both of them are clinging to so desperately, they’re afraid they could slip away from each other again.

“Oh fuck…” Cassia breathes, feeling her orgasm near as she clings to Gregor’s shoulders. “I can’t stop.”

“Don’t you dare stop, darling.” Gregor feels absolutely starstruck watching her use him to get herself off, like he’s having an out of body experience. “Keep going. You can do it. Use me.”

Her nails sink into Gregor’s shoulders as she feels that tight hot coil inside of her, threatening to send her over the highest ledge she’s ever been on. Her eyes close as she throws her head back, exposing her fair throat to him. His instinct is saying lick her but he can’t tear his eyes off of her.

With one last hard and exigent grind, she cums, moaning Gregor’s name so beautifully, so ethereally that he cums in his own pants without being touched, burying his face in her chest, groaning desperately as he grips the flimsy material of her skirt that he’s been dying to rip off of her since she put it on this morning.

“Did you just…” She smiles down at him, glancing at the barely noticeable wet spot on the front of his pants.

“Ugh… I did.” He cackles, almost embarrassed. “I’m sorry.”

He knows she would never make fun of him, though, or make him feel bad about it.

“Don’t be!” She smiles softly, kissing his cheek, not wanting him to be embarrassed or ashamed.

“You just… looked like a goddess and I couldn’t help myself.” He pants, pulling her down to him, so she rests in between his legs, against his broad chest.

“I’m impressed.” She tells him, honestly, turning to look at him. “You came without me touching you.”

“The first time anything like that’s ever happened, I think.” He rubs the back of his neck.

Warmth spreads throughout her face as she leans up to kiss him. “Well, consider me flattered.”

He moves slightly and then makes a face. “I’m glad you’re flattered. But… I feel uncomfortable in these pants now.”

She lets out a laugh, which still manages to make his chest tighten and hops up, holding her hand out to him. “Well, let’s get you home and out of those pants then, shall we?”

He grins, excitedly, taking her hand. “Yes, ma’am.”

@twistedstitcher27 @misogirl828 @rebel-finn @rexandechosandwich @madameminor @rain-on-kamino @corona-one @tecker @ladykatakuri @brynhildrmimi @the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond @zoeykallus @maulslittlemeowmeow @littlemousedroid @arctrooper69 @rexxdjarin @padawancat97 @hated-by-me @sleepingsun501 @quigonswife8 @redheadgirl @themcuwriter @ashotofspotchka @sunshinesdaydream @crosshairsimp73 @ariadnes-red-thread @rosmariner @heyitsaloy @starstofillmydream @high-ct5555 @echos-girlfriend @sleepywych @nekotaetae @justanothersadperson93 @aconstructofamind @book-of-baba-fett @chopper-base @palliateclaw @501st-rexster @dead-poolz @nahoney22 @where-is-my-mind-tho @jediknightjana @erishimoon @witching3 @queen-of-many-fandoms @wizardofrozz @burningfieldof-clover

#Bonsoir fic #gregor x OC!Cassia Nu #Gregor x Cassia Nu

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ohmeadows · 1 year ago

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You got hate comments wow lol I believe those who left that kind of comments really don't have nuance on media they consume, thus fandom these days are so rigid with rules that's too restricting. Personally I love how you write kafka and her dynamic with the women in your fic. Your Kafka can flip from domineering top (the milkies fic) manipulative bottom (especially in tingyun fan fiction I LOVE IT SO MUCH), and generally a wreck individual (da capo) and guess what I eat all of them because every Kafka you write is multi layered. we're not supposed to box her in one stereotype (same with Himeko or any women who you want to write) The rigid top/bottom dynamic is boring and makes it hard to explore the other possibilities and that's why I'm always looking forward to what you're going to write next.

Anyways I'm the anon who asked about writing tips. I'm still building my draft, slow work actually cuz I've been so lazy and motivation doesnt come easy, but your tips are helping on what I'm gonna write. I have an idea about jing liu with yukong. Idk the possibility of a mortal foxian and the unhinged mara infested lady intrigue me.

aww thank you so much! i like seeing how the facets in characters play out in different situations and with different characters. i'm certainly not as rigid irl (while i have a preference for domming, if a milf wanted me to be her devoted pet i would simply meow?) so why should characters be? i apply the same flexibility to characters. it's also funny how the years change a person, as sub/dom (not to be conflated with top/bottom as per usual) is all about power exchanges but of course we approach power and desire differently as we age, mature, acquire different tastes, meet new people; all of this changes our desire templates. i don't like flattening characters just to smush them into a sex fantasy niche.

i'm also an extremely lazy writer lmao. i just indulge my adhd in right amounts and work in very intense short bursts. then nap. then do it again. also oooh i'm really into what jingliu and yukong might get up to together even if i don't post about them much atm (need more jingliu canon lore!!! i want to study her under a microscope) so pls do let me know when you post it!!! i don't check ao3 enough as of late.

#ask meadows anything

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takadasaiko · 1 year ago

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Hiya! Saw your prompt post. Could I request 7 for Mara please?

Note: So.... this works really well for something that will be a future scene in A Flicker of Light. Bit spoiler-y, but not any worse than my sneak peeks. That and I'm not 100% sure exactly how this scene will shake out, so it might not be spoiler-y at all lol.

Prompt #7: "Feel my heartbeat."

She was going to kill him. If the explosion hadn't done that first, of course. It had gone off in the area she'd just left him and all she could see were burning leaves and charred trunks in the AT-AT’s wake as it lumbered its way through the thick forest . She’d warned him, and if he’d gone and gotten himself killed chasing down this fool’s errand she was going to --

What? What was she going to do? If he'd gotten himself killed, it was her fault. The Emperor had put his faith in her to guide Luke. He was brash and impulsive and his fear of losing his father had sent him down this path when she was supposed to have seen it. She was supposed to have stopped it.

If he was dead, it was because Mara hadn't been able to protect him, even from himself. The thought tore at her, clawing at her chest like it might wrap around her heart and lungs as she pushed through the wreckage that had once been a forest, Rebels scattered and seemingly unbothered by her presence as they pulled themselves together from the attack. Her movements became a little more frantic as she picked her way through chunks of earth that had been thrown up into the air and back down and still-burning branches.

She didn't see him. The tightness in her chest began to spread, closing in and spreading until it buzzed through her mind. All she could think of was Luke lying in the flames somewhere, broken and lifeless. He was gone, and her last words to him had been made to hurt. Not just hurt. Eviscerate. She'd been so angry at him, felt so betrayed. Luke had died thinking she despised him.

"Mara?"

The familiar voice was loud behind her and followed with a flood of an equally familiar presence. Mara turned to find him standing there, blood caked to the side of his face and covered in soot and grime, but alive. Strange, though, that the swirling chaos in her mind didn't seem to dissipate even though she was looking at living proof that her fear had been unjustified.

His brows drew together and he took a step forward. "You okay?"

"I thought you were dead," she managed to choke out, and he offered her a strained smile. "I thought --"

Luke covered the distance between them, making his way up the mount of debris and dirt she was standing on to stop right in front of her, those blue eyes fixed on her own green. He reached down, taking one of her hands and lifting it so that her fingers and palms were pressed against his chest. She felt the stead beat of his heart under her touch and he leaned forward, his forehead pressed against hers. "See? Feel my heartbeat? Still alive," he promised, his voice a little softer than before. "No easy outs on this one."

She focused on the feel of his heartbeat under her hand and she felt the rare panic finally beginning to dissipate along with it, hardening instead into resolve. He was brash and he was impulsive, but now she knew what had pulled him away these last months. She knew, and knowledge had always been the first step to a good strategy. She wouldn't lose him. She refused to.

Three Word Sentences

#A Flicker of Light #writing prompt #Mara Jade #Luke Skywalker #Imperial Luke Skywalker

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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 7 months ago

Text

Ohhh it's the bachelor party lol thaaat makes sense

Oh gosh o.o

Guys you look so bad xDD

Uhhh oh

GO OFF MADDIE :'DDD 😭

She shouldn't have to be but xd

SORRY DOING THIS AFTER THE FACT IT'S LIKE 10 MINUTES LATER AS I TYPE THIS AND UMM SINCE THEIR PARENTS ARE THERE THAT MEANS THEY'RE GOING TO SEE BUCK WITH TOMMY I'M NOT OKAY-

I KNOW MADNEY WILL BE THE MAIN FOCUS OF THE EPISODE AS THE ABSOLUTELY SHOULD BUT I WANNA SEE THEIR REACTION O.O GOOD OR BAD

Anyway 🥰🥰

OPE call center o.o

LOL nope yeah not her xD

Go off guys <33

Also Hen looks so pretty

And MADDIEEE don't even get me started <333 beautiful :'))

Ohh goshh guys 😭 not okayyy :'))

UHHH???? OPE OH MY GOSH CHIMNEY??? SIR

WHAT THE HEECCKKKKKK

WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE HE'S FREAKING DYING EXCUSE ME 😭😭😭😭 O.O O.O

"I have somewhere to be" SIRRR 😭😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💔❤️❤️❤️❤️

I AM NOT OKAY

Oh my gosh what the heck 😭😭 xd

And I thought no wedding (at least of what I watch or this universe) could be more dramatic than the Lone Star wedding xd

Though to be fair that's wedding week lol

Oh gosh xd

Wow lol

Okay, that's the last of my last thoughts, now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

I loved this episode!! AAHHHHHH it was so good :'DDD.

OKAY HI it's me from the 2nd lol. The next episode is in two hours so I better hurry this up xD forgive me if I miss things lol.

Everybody was great this episode! I'm glad everything worked out in the end - or rather, the directly before end, because the end was kinda wild xD. Fun to have a preview at the end of the episode lol! Anyway, the calls were great this episode too :D. And the first one was so hilarious oh my gosh xD 💀. Poor guys lol.

Anyway! Onto the individual parts :).

Hen and Karen! I'm so happy they were able to get a kid :'D AAHHHH!!! I do feel awful for Mara though D:. Her whole story was super traumatic :((. I really appreciate Hen, Karen, and Denny being so supportive though <33. Even through midnight stalking and screaming, and getting hit in the head, they're all there for her. At the same time, I really appreciate that Hen and Karen remembered their duty to Denny. The reason they were genuinely considering asking for help/giving up Mara was Denny's safety, and I love that they were thinking about that <3. However, I'm still glad Maras sticking around :')). Also AAAHHHH Karen getting her to talk at the end :'D. I imagine it'll still be real slow going but it's a start <3. Also the video feed was such a sweet and understanding gesture :'). I love them all so much <33. Welcome to the family Mara :'D 🥰.

Bobby and Athena! We didn't see them much (iirc) but they were awesome :D. We love Bobby calling out Eddie too 👀. Needed to be said xD. Also him suggesting Eddie go to confession SLFJDKGS he is an icon <33. Anyway, I'm glad they're doing okay (and they looked beautiful at the end by the way, in the flash forward to the wedding), and they were amazing :D. Slaying as always. I love them <33.

Ravi! He is an icon as always <33. Sir has never known a thing going on ever and I love him for that :D. I also love him besides that lol. Anyway, loverly <33.

Maddie and Chimney!! Y'all I am so not ready for the next episode xdd. I live in fear lol. Still, they are of course adorable and they did of course slay <33. And Buck's coming out to Maddie :'DD!! I love that it was just a slip lol xD. Also, I'm glad we got to see the confusion and surprise because even though we love supportive reactions I need a little bit of that in my life too slfkdjhs lol. But, still, she was supportive :'D 🥰🥰. Also Maddie immediately asking for more information on the hot pilot :')) <3 she's so sweet, and iconic. I love her so much <33. And of course, I love Maddie and Chimney (and Chim individually lol) so much <333.

Eddie! My idiots <3 xD. Sir xD. He was really going through it this episode sdlfkdhjs, but just the "do I have to go home 👀?"s and such were so good xDD. Bro was going to GREAT LENGTHS to avoid his girlfriend lol. Anyway, the revelation that Marisol was a nun was wild o.o. It's not a bad thing, it was just definitely a surprise xD. I am glad it all worked out though :)). I understand where Eddie's coming from, but I'm glad he wants to keep their relationship going and just have some time with it :'). Also "was he not before?" "now it feels like he's got eyes on the ground" is still SO FUNNY SDLGKHDS XDD lol. Anyway, Marisol's emotions 🥺🥺. Again, I'm really glad Eddie reacted okay in the end, for her <33 she deserves it :). Also I'm glad they're moving back out (well she is, but yk moving in together moving out of living together slfjskd). They're not ready for that yet, and I'm glad they can admit it :). Anyway, I love them <3.

Buck and Tommy! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :'DDDD!!! Y'all they are so cute 😭😭😭❤️❤️🥺. I could talk about them for hours but I will limit myself xD. Okay, so first of all, I've barely watched that date scene (most of it) again because it gave me such bad second hand embarrassment xD. He's just a bit of an idiot your honor <33. Now, here's something I will say: I do think Tommy was telling the truth later when he said he didn't wanna pressure Buck. But I feel like that was part of the reason xD. It's perfectly okay if he was miffed! Or if he just didn't want to put himself back in the closet, or at least be pushed that far away by Buck's overreaction xD. He's allowed to have flaws (though that isn't even a flaw). Like I said, I think it was multiple things, but he's allowed to be annoyed lol. I do think he should've made it clear earlier, but hey xd. Once again, he ain't perfect. Poor Buck though :((. I understand why Tommy did it but Buck 😭💔❤️. Anyway, I'm so happy that Buck told Maddie first :'D. Even if it was an accident, which was hilarious xD. But he was pretty comfortable with it afterwards anyway, and I'm so happy for him :')).

Buck trying to help/listen to Eddie was wild xD. Mainly because the cause of Eddie going through it was wild, but eh lol. It was hilarious though XD. And then again at the end lol, Eddie's hiding at Buck's apartment. Buck seems even more carefree now, even while still being nervous about telling Eddie in that scene, and it's just so sweet :')). Anyway, the coming out scene. AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH AUGAHH IT WAS JUST SO GOOD 😭😭😭🥺❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰!!! Once again, I LOVE that we got to see Eddie's shock but still his support :). And that most of his shock was about Tommy at first xD. Amazing lol. But seriously that "This doesn't change a thing between us" was everything Buck needed to hear :')). And AAAHHHHHHH "I can't stop thinking about him" STOPPP they're so cute 😭😭😭🥺🥰 :'D. And Eddie telling him to call Tommy :')). Plus we LOVE Buck turning that back on him lol. Friends helping friends with their relationship problems by needing the exact same advice 😌😌 xD. And. That HUG!!! YOUR HONOR THEY'RE SO ADORABLE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥰🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰!!! It was perfect and I love them so much <33. And the last little "Call Tommy" :')).

And of course, we cannot forget the last scene (before the wedding preview). AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! SIR YOU DON'T U N D E R S T A N D 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥺!!! HE INVITED HIM TO COFFEE AND HE TRIED TO GET HIS ORDER RIGHT AND TOLD HIM THAT HE'S NOT SURE BUT HE WANTS TO TRY WITH HIM AND AAAUAGHHHH-!! I love them so much <33. But seriously, Tommy is the sweetest and Buck is the most earnest person ever :')). This is just another example of him absolutely wearing his heart on his sleeve and putting it out there. Also Tommy's "Mmh, so not like that" was so funny oh my gosh xDDD. Anyway, I'm so glad Buck asked him to meet and he agreed :')). Buck saying he wasn't sure but that the something could be with Tommy is just the sweetest thing ever I 😭😭😭 my gosh <333. And then AAAHHHH INVITING HIM TO THE WEDDINGGGG :'DDD and Tommy's shock and Buck saying he'll already know half the people there lol xD. And then Tommy asking Buck if he's sure because he always checks with him and just auoagh :')). And the HAND HOLD!!!!!! Don't even talk to me <333. I love them so much <333.

Overall, I loved this episode so much!! It was SO good, and everyone did really great in general :'D. The ending was wild o.o but they also all look beautiful :'D. And even throughout all the drama (though let's be honest, I enjoy that too lol) I am SO excited for the next episode :DD!!! Anyway, the calls today were great, and really fit the episode (like with Hen's call with the dog). And the first one was just straight up hilarious xD. All the little details and expressions are amazing lol. Anyway, I'm glad everything worked out :)).

So yeah! I really enjoyed the episode, I thought it was amazing. So many cute moments! I'm so excited for the next episode! This has been my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 7, Episode 5: You Don't Know Me

It was so good!! I'm so excited for the next episode but also absolutely terrified. I'll be back next time with my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 7, Episode 6: There Goes The Groom

See you then!

#9-1-1 #911 #oasis's 9-1-1 chatter #okay AAAHHHHH I got it done in time and I didn't skimp on my thoughts :D #now I'm gonna go watch last week's episode of ghosts and be back for 911 tonight later lol #I'm so excited y'all :DDD!!!#see you guys soon!!! <333 🥰❤️

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twistednuns · 7 months ago

Text

March 2024

My class is in a confidence/conflict training at the moment and I loved what the trainer said about how to deal with annoying people and information. I needed to hear that: stand up straight and look them in the eye. And don't believe everything you hear.

Du hast den geilsten Arsch der Welt - I found a postcard with this line on my desk in the classroom. I was about to be flattered when I noted the little addition "mich" at the bottom. Fun.

The lady who stopped me on the street just to tell me that she loved my outfit. It's quite pathetic how simple it is to lift someone's mood. I wanna pay more compliments, too. I'd really love to adopt a more positive focus!

Browsing Sephora and &otherstories with Margit. Food, cinnamon buns and a very interesting play at Residenztheater, Prima Facie. I loved when she hung up disgusting/intimidating portraits of old, white men during the court scene. Impressive.

MONKI tahin. The highlight of every breakfast for a while now.

Visiting Ralf in Jena. He picked me up from the train station and I felt at ease immediately. The whole weekend was very relaxed, close, beautiful. We are very good together. I loved lying around on the dock by the river in Paradies park - the first real outdoor session this spring. Talking about everything. Cuddling and getting to know each other in his apartment. Playing the piano together. Finally revisiting the planetarium. I met his friends Jona and Steve at a small concert. The next day, he dragged me up a hill. We enjoyed the view, then shot at a beer can with bow and arrow. We stopped at a cafe and walked back down. I walked 32000 steps that weekend!

A two-day English language teacher training about creative methods. I really enjoyed being the student for a change. I need to go back to school myself in one way or another.

Buying sourdough bread and a chocolate croissant at manufactum during my lunch break. A friendly interaction with two other customers.

Vietnamese food followed by a massage.

Turning a game of chess around. I won - even though I'd made a grave mistake early on and lost my Queen.

A yin and yang pattern on my freshly brewed coffee.

Seeing some if my stained glassware lined up in the dishwasher. Such pretty colours!

Another long talk with the osteopath about kinks, energy, addiction. I found out he used to be a Lindy Hop instructor and NEED to befriend him now. I also loved how my body felt after the session. I had a cup of coffee at 4pm: great strategy - felt super energized in yoga class! Is there a connection? I loved my low pain / high energy level that day.

Inspiration: writing and illustrating a children's book (found a cute know-it-all book the other day) and founding an online business (listened to one of Christina's Holistic CEO podcast episodes).

Listening to music by Iniko.

Preparing a treasure map for Lian's birthday party.

Heike's surprising rap part in Joyful Joyful.

Buying a big stack of boxes at IKEA. I'm kinda looking forward to organizing my basement compartment now.

Schmand.

Interacting with the little ones in my role as Earth Demon. Mara looking me straight in the face saying "I've seen you somewhere... I KNOW you!" Talking to Ale, meeting Tommy. Getting along fine with Jessy. Retreating to functioning mode but transitioning into a very relaxed night with Christian, Tobi, Tommy and Charlie the cat (who kept jumping on my lap, demanding affection). I had a fit of shivers and C. helped me stay grounded. Felt unreal. Sleeping it off. Meeting the gang again at 4am. Cooking for everyone the next day. And reconnecting with C. After a bad week. He shared his emotions and thoughts with me, said: "WHEN we're vibing we're vibing extremely hard." Sex was intense. He shook my hand afterwards and congratulated me for being part of his most intense sexual experience so far. He tried affirmation porn on me, calling me his Goddess. Mentioned my beautiful face and promised to always be there for me.

A mental image I might have to turn into an actual painting: Nina Hagen dragging me forwards as my inner heroine and Mara holding me back as my little demon because it's not safe to step ahead.

Letting my fingertips run over C's head and face in surprising patterns to the rhythm of the music. He said it felt like a little spider spinning a neuronal network.

My body doing the work for me. I didn't feel like going to Pub Quiz and I actually fell asleep that evening and had to excuse myself after waking up too late.

People staring at me in the morning. Or rather, looking at me as if I'm the most interesting person they've seen that day.

A new haircut! It's layered and light and I have lovely face-framing pieces now.

Buying a strawberry-ice-cream-coloured T-shirt. And Lagerfeld-esque aviator sunglasses. And nail polish in a deep, dark, golden bronze. Just in case.

Thinking about my goals for 2024. The ones that's really help me progress. The scary ones.

A women's Tantra circle at Rote Mondin (a magical yurt right in the middle of the city, next to the train tracks). I noticed how much time I'm spending in masculine energy, and how much easier it often is for me to be "one of the dudes". I felt an impulse to learn more about Tantra and finally read the book I've had for months now. And afterwards, Simone came up to me and asked me about my community in Munich, and electronic music. My gaydar was on, rightfully so. A nice connection.

Unearthing delicious green pesto from my freezer. Thank you, me from the past.

Finally putting on a sweater after having endured the cold for far too long.

Trying out for the solo part in Joyful Joyful. Improving so much in the second round.

Feli sent me a few stickers her friends have made of her. I put one on my water bottle!

Listening to inspiring podcasts in the car.

Smelling of Georg's laundry detergent after our osteopathy sessions.

Wearing yellow.

Being more relaxed at work. I LOVE having two days off now, it makes such a big difference.

Exchanging gifs of our "astral bodies" with Ralf when we wanted to cuddle but were so far apart. His was a proud unicorn with a rainbow mane, mine a cheeky cat. Of course.

Dill pickles.

Building two nifty shelf units for the basement. Starting to unpack all the boxes of art supplies I brought from my old school. It already looks like an art studio or store down there. But I didn't have the energy to declutter yet. There is still so much stuff I don't need. Donate, sell, gift. My mission for next week.

Affluence.

Cuddle movie night at Luna's. Finally seeing Burner friends again after a longer hiatus. Getting freaky with Robert. Playfights, petting Heinrich's cat personality, floating on the K cloud.

Cheering up C in the morning. Going to Anatolian brunch with Luna, Patri, David, Tobi, Lukas and Jazz. Afterwards we went to a pop-up plant sale and I had to advise everyone after they'd found out that I'm a crazy plant lady. Returning to Filzhof with Tobi, ordering pizza and playing a board game together.

What happens to me every few years: I hear the first notes of Madonna's Frozen which reminds me of how fascinating I find the song.

Feeling C's sparkly fire energy inside of me. Simply telling him to "enjoy". Helping him out with identifying the holes in his personality.

Yoga Sunday with Lucie. Meeting her husband Gerald. Dancing and shaking to the beat of the drums with my eyes closed. doTERRA essential oils in Wild Orange and a grounding blend. Drinking infused water, playing with an orange. Singing together, harmonizing. Enjoying the movement and my strength. Falling asleep immediately during the break. Blueberry cake. Feeling all the muscles between my ribs the next day. Waking up to their song in my head: I am the light of my soul, I am beautiful, I am bountiful, I am bliss, I am I am.

Accidentally creating a twinset when I bought a shirt in exactly the same shade of soft green as a cardigan I already had.

Talking with my students about war, stereotypes, human rights and asylum.

Solving a conflict with communication instead of passive aggression.

Feeling snackish. Eating a bunch of raw vegetables with tzatziki. Healthy, crunchy, delicious.

Finally finishing my review for 2023.

Reading Leonora Carrington's biography. I'm so inspired - and I'm realising that I've always been a Surrealism fangirl.

Buying a comfortable bra that actually fits me and gives my boobs a nice shape. What a rarity.

Seeing the fluffy orange neighbour cat for the first time after the winter. And sitting outside on the balcony chair for the first time, too!

Starting to read The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control - I felt seen and couldn't put it down.

Seeing Pictures of an Exhibition by Mussorgsky in Gasteig HP8 with my class. It was a lovely concert - with little acts and explanations in-between!

A short trip to Valencia with my bestie. First and foremost, we LOVED the aromatic smell of the orange blossoms everywhere. We noticed it for the first time on our first night, walking over a deserted plaza in the rain. It followed us on our strolls through the city. Walking through the Central Market one morning, there were even more interesting smells. All the fresh fruit and baked goods... So rich! / A cat sleeping in the sunshine behind a homeless man. A dude wearing a red bandana and wide-leg pants. / Taking lots of picture of orange trees instead of the architecture. Creating a photo-love-story of Sash and her food. Modeling my autumn colour outfit in front of an orange wall. / Walking through Ruzafa. Discovering interesting art galleries, used book stores, vintage shops. When I entered Kowalski Cosas Bellas Artes I immediately knew I was in danger zone. So many interesting things to discover! I had such a lovely conversation (in Spanish!!) with the owner and he recommended lots of his favourite museums, bars and restaurants in the area. / Angel numbers following me around as I go, glitter on the floor leading the way. / Warm soft-bake cookies with dark chocolate, walnuts and sea salt. Iced latte. Hot ramen noodle soup with the perfect miso egg. / Cycling through the impressive Ciudad de las Artes y las Ciencias. The Science Museum was super interesting. I learned a lot about space travel and human genetics. And, my favourite thing: watching little chicklets hatching! They looked exhausted but kept hacking at their siblings. Such a special thing to witness! / Touching the Mediterranean. Ice-cream by the sea. How I love a good 180° ocean view. / After the little Surrealism exhibition, we walked through a park and I saw a gorgeous cat cuddling up to a lady on a bench. They both found a friend that afternoon! / Really good interior design and architecture - well, Valencia was the European Capital of Design in 2022 and it shows. We stayed in Casa Clarita, an art hotel designed by Jaime Hayon. / Too much shopping. The Nice Things store. Crush gallery. Vintage stores. / Palm trees against old brick walls. / Inspiring art. Little paintings by Alberto Porta (Zush). / Agua de Valencia in a glass almost as big as my head. We fell asleep early that evening. Strong stuff. / Spending a lot of time with Sash for a change. We don't see each other often anymore but it's nice that we still click. Oh, and finding out that she is a Manifesting Generator, too! Power couple. //

An adorable selfie of Christian and Mara. Felt a little jealous!

Going on a trip down south with Christian and Lian. First we stopped at Chiemsee where we threw gifts for my mum in the water. C. threw a coloured egg, introducing himself to my mum and wishing her Happy Easter. He told her that he is with me now. I brought her crystals and a bunch of flowers, a big orange rose in the middle. I attached a little feather and incense to it and released everything to the water. A fragrant little boat. I sent a few tears after it, they merged with the lake water. I told her I missed her and that I'm so much like her - more and more as time passes. Afterwards we visited C.'s friend and "spirit guide" Gyan who actually reminded me a lot of my mother. A wise older man with a lust for life and a rich past. We ate his delicious apple marzipan and walnut cake with a big dollop of cream. Then we went on a walk down to the river and threw big stones into the water. On the way back, we collected wild garlic and I made pesto which we ate with spaghetti. A beautiful afternoon.

#personal #present perfect #things i love #march #2024 #march 2024

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butterflies-and-blades · 10 months ago

Text

Session 30: Rest

In the same way that I hadn't recognized myself in the washroom mirror, it felt like so much had been taken during the last few weeks. Comfort, safety, simple rest. It all felt like it had been ripped from my hands, and I had been left grasping at smoke.

It was like I was always running, and more than my muscles were starting to give out as I kept pushing myself forward. There'd barely been any time to stop with death waiting--prowling, hunting--around every corner. And whenever we did stop, taking a single second for ourselves, the world was quick to make us regret that mistake. The consequences were sharp blades and glass shards that carved their lessons deep in unsuspecting flesh.

Cosmic justice. There weren't too many other explanations. Maybe Mom and Mara were right. It was more and more difficult to see it any other way.

Despite the growing weight of that fear--despite the nagging dread that grew with the exhaustion--, it faded. So much stronger than all that self-doubt, those distant memories felt closer than ever before. Almost as if for the first time, I felt safe and comfortable and protected. I could relax. It all radiated from a line of warmth that settled against the middle of my back and over my waist and hip.

Sinking into that plush softness, death was a distant concept. Neither hurtful not scary. It existed with the same neutrality of a lizard sunbathing on a rock.

"Don't fret, Maeve," whispered Thanatos's familiar voice. "I promise we're not hunting you. And I'm sorry it's all been coming so fast. They'll keep you safe, as you will them. Trust in yourself. I look forward to when we can talk about more."

I opened my eyes. The glow of six wings cast a warm light over the gentle face of Thanatos and his matching smile. I should have asked what else there was to talk about or if he just meant generally.

"I hope the next time I'm picking one of you three up, it's not you," he continued.

My brow furrowed. "Hopefully you're not picking any of us up anytime soon."

"It's just been a lot of you lately."

I frowned. A prickle of unease in my chest pushed against some of the serenity that had gathered. "It's been a few days."

Thanatos shook his head. "No..." He paused. "I saw you today."

"I didn't see you." He had told me he was there when I was little--and I remembered some of the disjointed pieces now that I knew what I was remembering--, and he had been there in the temple. But Thanatos hadn't been in that basement or anywhere else afterwards. There hadn't even been a gap when the Mask came up. The only possible hole in my memory would have been during that vision.

"It was really quick," he said. ""That sister of yours sure is something,"

So maybe not a vision. Yet Thanatos wasn't there. He'd been each time before.

Working to detangle the knotted thread of my thoughts, I noticed that he was sitting upside down, suspended in the air. "Why are you like that?"

He shrugged. "It's comfier sitting up here." I didn't have a comparison to argue otherwise.

"So, if it wasn't a vision induced by whatever spell she cast, what did I see, then?" I asked, still thinking over what he had told me.

His mouth pulled to the side. "I think that's someone else's question to answer."

I sighed, frustration rising. "And I'm still confused about why I didn't see you at all. Every other time, you were there."

"Someone else was involved this time," he said. "I'm getting close to stepping on toes I shouldn't be."

It was never easy knowing that people around you had answers that they couldn't share, but I didn't want to get Thanatos in trouble. He had been nothing but kind and reassuring in the time I had known him.

"Get some rest, Maeve," he said. "I am sorry for interrupting. It's probably the best you've had in..." he stopped to think. "Possibly ever. Let him help. He can make it all go away."

Even asleep, my ears and cheeks buzzed from the rising blush. He didn't have to say a name; I knew who he was talking about.

"Good night, Thanatos," I said.

He waved as his body melted upwards into the invisible ceiling he had been hanging from like a bat, and he disappeared--leaving the night's previous aura of comfort to sink back into place.

I woke up with the warmth from the night at my front instead of my back. Rather than facing the wood paneling of the wall, my face was half buried in Verca's chest and my hands were lightly balled in his shirt. Eyes wide, I froze when I realized how I had moved in my sleep, not wanting to wake him.

Without saying anything, he shifted and pulled me closer. An arm wrapped around my back. I thought about what Thanatos had said and let myself relax against Verca.

Someone knocked on our door, breaking the silence in the room. I tensed and curled closer into Verca, startled by the abrupt sound. At the same time, Verca rolled over and flung his leg to the side--partially pinning me beneath him. Laying there, a drum slowly started playing behind my chest. The beat sped faster and faster; with it, the bed felt more cramped--there was an increasingly looming presence--than when we went to sleep.

"Verca," I loudly whispered while tapping on his shoulder. He didn't wake and instead rolled the other direction, pulling me on top of him along the way.

There was another knock. Verca groaned tiredly, uninterested in getting up--even as I kept tapping at his chest.

Talo's voice pushed past the closed door. "I don't want to open the door on whatever you're doing in there." The implication once more made my ears and cheeks tingle.

That was apparently enough to make Verca wake up. There was a second of silence as he processed what they had said and then bolted upright--tossing me to the other side of the bed and catapulting himself to the floor. The sound of body hitting ground out of sight made me wince.

Still in a pile, he told Talo they could come in. They crossed their arms, amusement all over their face, when they saw him.

From there, I worked on braiding my hair while we discussed our future plans. Talo was not happy with the prospect of killing the blue phoenix. I didn't mind as much; Hades's palpable panic when he mentioned it made this feel important, even if we didn't have all the details. I couldn't find a way to explain that that seemed good enough for them, though.

At the same time, Verca commented that he didn't think Hades had created the phoenix. He thought that it existed prior to Hades's interference with his mantle. Talo and I were less sure. My only issue with that idea was that it didn't explain Hades's immediate reaction and concern when the phoenix came up.

Somehow, after that conversation was finished, Verca and Talo got into a debate about whatever they did last night. While they bantered back and forth, I focused on re-summoning Kaemon, who had been gone since Sala decided she had no need for him during our time together.

"I had a dream last night, and when one of us does, usually we all do," he said. "So what did you dream about last night?" he asked Talo, pressing toward whatever conclusion he was after. After he got his answer--something to do with Faunsel--I asked Verca what he had dreamed. He had simply responded, "Phoenix stuff," without much detail. "We just hung out. What did you dream about?"

"Thanatos told me I died," I said, "which no one else told me about." I explained that I hadn't seen Thanatos when I died again, so I hadn't realized, and described the dining table I saw instead. Talo was curious if it had been a memory from the temple my family had lived at or something else. The few memories I had from that temple had more stone than wood in it, so I guessed it was probably somewhere different, but I couldn't say for sure.

Despite our general disagreement about the phoenix, we did know that our next destination was the cabin. If we didn't see it before then, the issue would have to wait until after we took care of Dad. Talo was recuperating on the floor from their dream of Faunsel, and we would head out once they were ready to walk.

Meanwhile, while Verca and I waited, he looked over at me. "How did you sleep, Butterfly?"

I remembered the sense of peace that had wrapped around my dream like a handknit blanket and softly smiled. "It was good. Thank you."

Following the map to the cabin through the woods, conversation was light. I'm not sure how Talo ended up on a tangent about how much they wanted to kill Mara and how much they disliked her values. It was hard for me to see past the bond of family, even if I barely knew her and she had just killed me. I felt guilty for how conflicted I was; it was the same internal debate I'd had about my mom since finding out what she had done--twice now.

I was surprised to hear Verca vaguely defend Mara--her thoughts more so than her actions. He pointed out that she might have her reasonings for the beliefs she held--not in a way that sided with or excused what she had done for those beliefs, though; rather, he seemed to want to hold on to the chance that if we ever saw her again, we might be able to talk things out.

Somehow, that conversation also led to him mentioning the scars Wren had left on him. Talo was shocked--Verca had forgotten that he only ever showed them to me at the spa and they didn't know. Meanwhile, a cold anger had washed through my veins. I glared ahead as we kept walking. "I want to pull all of his bones apart at the joints."

Later in the day, Verca paused. "I did leave something out about my dream," he said. "The phoenixes were fighting on top of a mountain or plateau or something like that. But there aren't any of those nearb--"

"The Deep Crow lived at the base of a mountain," I interrupted. "Maybe they were mating. A lot of animals look like they're fighting when they mate. But regardless, that gives us a next destination after home." Even if that wasn't the same mountain, it would give us the high ground to better figure out steps following that.

At the end of that first day of travel, we set up camp and agreed to our usual watch order. Nothing happened during mine. When the time came, I gently nudged Verca awake. He stopped before leaving the tent, looking at me over his shoulder. "I'm sorry good sleep has to wait," he said. "Speaking of which, do you want to keep doing that?"

Butterflies pleasantly swarmed in my stomach. "It was nice," I said.

He lightly chuckled. "I agree, but that's not really an answer."

I nodded. "Right. I would like to in general, yeah. I'm just conflicted about at home. I know he's not there anymore, but it feels weird doing something in the cabin that I don't think he would have approved of." I couldn't imagine Dad being happy about there being someone else in my bed with me--even if it was just innocent sleep. I promised I would think more about it on our way home.

"I'll be back when I'm done watch," he said, pulling back the flap of the tent. "Sweet dreams, Butterfly."

"Sweet dreams, when the time comes.

"It's always sweet with you." He left as I could feel the color rush to my ears.

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