#but i'm posting it now

[gay-otlc]

Won't Fall In Love At The End- 6

Aromantic crises & lactose intolerant people making poor decisions

Since it's been 2 months since I updated, previously on wfilate: Rana discovers she has never had a crush

@xanadaus @an-ungraceful-swan @novaliae @gaslight-gaetkeep-gayboss I think you guys wanted to be tagged sorry if you don't want to be tagged

The question spins around her head as she and Abigail walk back to the gym. Has Rana actually never had a crush? Never? That can’t be right. She can’t never have a crush, she’s already weird, and everyone else gets crushes and she doesn’t want another thing that sets her apart. And if she never has a crush on anyone, never dates anyone for real, never falls in love with anyone… she’ll just be lonely forever. Rana is already lonely. She doesn’t want to spend the rest of her life that way.

That can’t be true. She won’t. She’ll have a crush someday. She just hasn’t had one yet, because maybe none of the people at her school would be a good partner, or maybe she just doesn’t interact with people enough to catch feelings. She’ll catch feelings for someone, someday. Probably. Definitely. 

Maybe it’ll be Asher. She promised not to fall in love with Asher for real, but they might be her best chance at finding someone to like. That doesn’t mean she’ll have to actually date Asher. Just fall in love with them, to prove that she can.

So when it’s time for the painfully awkward slow dance, Rana thinks, maybe she should ask Asher. Dance with them like a couple. Try to look like a good couple. Try to feel like a good couple, and maybe even like the way that feels. Try to show the world that Asher is her person and they chose each other and they’re together and that means something more than friendship.

She should at least try.

But it just sounds awful. So she stays silent and looks at her feet, and doesn’t ask Asher to dance, and they don’t ask her to dance. Abigail does ask Eva to dance, and Eva’s face turns so red Rana thinks she might explode. They look like a couple, or two people who might become a couple someday. Two people who might be happy together.

Why can’t Rana do that with Asher? Why can’t Rana do that with anyone? Why does the thought make her feel sick to her stomach, like she ate too many of those cookies at the snack table?

It probably was the cookies.

That’s easier to believe than there is something wrong with me. 

Despite her insistence that it’s the cookies, there’s something wrong with me ping pongs around her head until the slow dancing wraps up. Their group gathers, since Daniel is the only way for the rest of them to get home. Between Xavier being ridiculously tall and Asher’s blue hair helping them stand out in a crowd, everyone else finds each other easily enough, and they follow Daniel to his car.

“I don’t feel like going home yet,” Aziza says as she stuffs herself into the backseat. “How do y’all feel about pizza?”

“What, were all the cookies not a nutritious meal?” Asher jokes. 

“We got all four food groups!” Eva adds. “Cookies, cookies, cookies, and more cookies!” 

“There are five food groups,” Rana says.

“And the fifth one is pizza! As long as everyone’s okay with that?” Daniel pauses, and when no one protests, he holds out a thumbs up. “Alright. We’re getting pizza, then.”

Daniel agrees to pay as long as everyone else pays him back their fair share, which the group unanimously decides Rana has to calculate.

“Why do I have to do the math?” 

“Because you’re the best at math! Like, you’re in calculus!” Asher tells her, a big grin on their face.

“You don’t even need calculus for this! Just division!”

“Well, you’re the democratically elected math queer, so deal with it.”

Rana shrugs and accepts her fate. “I wish it did involve calculus, honestly. Calculus would be way more fun if it involved pizza.”

“Find the integral of the stuffed crust,” Abigail says, in a wheezing imitation of their math teacher, and Rana laughs.

“Okay, nerds, what toppings do you want? I’m getting pepperoni.”

“Um,” Rana says, too quietly to be heard over the crowd.

“Don’t get all pepperoni. I can’t have it. It’s not kosher.”

“It’s also not Halal.” Rana has no clue if Daniel even heard her addition, but she guesses it doesn’t matter- the effect is the same. He’ll only get pepperoni on one third of the pizza.

“Mushrooms?” Abigail suggests.

Aziza pulls a face. “Fuck mushrooms.”

“Mushrooms are good, fuck you!” 

Daniel holds up a hand before the two of them can spark an all out war between the mushroom lovers and mushroom haters. “Okay. One third pepperoni, one third mushroom, one third cheese. Is anyone going to kill me for that?”

A chorus of nos. He shrugs. “Okay, I’m still not a hundred percent sure I won’t get killed, but that’s good enough. I’ll be back soon.”

He leaves to go order, and everyone else claims a table. Xavier gives Asher a worried look as they sit down. “Asher, are you sure you should eat your slice of the pizza? Aren’t you lactose intolerant?”

“So what?”

“Why are lactose intolerant people idiots?” he sighs.

Asher flips him off. “Pain is temporary! Pizza is forever!”

“Technically, pizza is not forever. I mean, you only have a slice. That’s a limited amount,” Rana points out.

“Fine. Pain is temporary, my love for pizza is forever.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Aziza agrees.

Xavier groans. “Don’t encourage them!” 

Rana watches them bicker on her left for a little while longer, and then turns to Eva, who’s sitting on her right. They had all sat down at the table randomly, and Abigail is on the other end, so Eva is sending her longing glances. 

“Did you have fun?” Rana asks, because that’s how conversations go, right? That’s a normal small talk sentence? “At the dance?”

“Abigail fucking danced with me!” Eva whisper screams.

“I know. I saw. I was there.”

“I think I’m going to explode.”

“That would probably be messy.”

“This is so fucking exciting, oh my god, holy shit,” Abigail continues, bouncing up and down in her seat. This is weirdly excited to get over a dance.

Or, no, maybe Rana’s the weird one. There were a lot of people in that gym, dancing with their homecoming date. They all seemed to like it well enough. Maybe it’s normal, to want to dance with your crush and get excited when you do, and Rana’s just weird because she doesn’t like dancing and she didn’t want to dance with Asher and maybe she’s never had a crush, ever.

The pizza arrives. She’s so lost in her own head that she nearly reaches for a slice of pepperoni, before Eva gives her a weird look. “You good?” she asks as Rana corrects herself and takes the cheese pizza.

“Fine. Just zoned out.”

Eva grins. “Thinking of Asher?”

No. Well, yes, technically, she was thinking of Asher, but she was actually thinking of how she didn’t like Asher the way she should, which isn’t really what Eva was asking, and she’s so weird- “Nah, just kind of exhausted. Eventful day.”

Main event: Figuring out I’ve never had a crush and also maybe I’m kind of broken-

“Yeah, it’s been a lot.” Eva looks around, mostly in Abigail’s direction, and lowers her voice. “How do I ask Abigail on a date?”

Rana takes a bite of her pizza and shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t know. How would I know?”

“You’re dating Asher,” Eva points out, and Rana’s stomach clenches uncomfortably. “You have some idea how to date someone.”

“I guess. They asked me, though. I don’t know how to ask someone.”

“Well, how did they do it?”

“I don’t know, they just asked. Just went for it.”

Eva groans. “That sounds scary, though.”

“Just- I don’t know. What would you want to do with her?”

“Go see a movie, I guess?”

“Okay, so, you’ve asked me and Aziza to hang out with you and watch a movie. So this is basically the same thing, unless you kiss her, which you don’t need to do if you freak out too much anyway. Don’t make it a big deal, just ask her like you’re asking one of your friends.”

“It’s not basically the same thing, though!”

Rana looks down at her pizza, trying not to think about how weird she is for not seeing the difference. “Why not?”

“Well, you know, because I have a crush on her! I want to spend time with her and I enjoy being together, same as with you guys, but also when she’s around there’s this extra giddiness and adrenaline and excitement. You know what I’m talking about, you feel it with Asher.”

I definitely don’t.

“Yeah. I guess. But, like, you don’t have to be nervous! It’ll still be just like hanging out with me or Aziza, except even better. You don’t need to worry.”

Eva smiles at her. “Thanks! Damn, you’ve been dating Asher for like a week and you’re already an expert.”

I am not an expert on dating. How the fuck am I supposed to be an expert if I’m not even sure I want to date anyone and I’m not even sure I’m capable of wanting to date anyone?

The volume of the noise in her head varies, from a buzzing as they all finish their pizza and Daniel drives everyone home, to a screaming as she changes from her dress into pajamas, but it’s always there, impossible to ignore; there’s something wrong with me there’s something wrong with me there’s something wrong with me.

[rynxyni]

posting my trash art here lmafo

enjoy the trash?

[itstimeforstarwars]

✨thank you for existing✨

(no need to reply. just sharing the positive vibes 💖)

Thank you for existing, anon! I hope you have a wonderful day <3

[climbingthefloors]

obsessed with this baby hippo from thailand's khao khew zoo.. she has been so utterly betrayed by the world

[kiryuing]

[sergle]

this tweet is making me choke to death

[wardensantoineandevka]

is that piece of media actually bad, or is it just not following the blueprint you projected onto it? is that work actually not good, or are you just demanding something from it that is absolutely antithetical to its themes, genre, tone, and narrative goal? is that story actually poorly written, or do you just dislike that it is not the specific things you wanted from it that it never set out to be, never was, and never is going to become? is it actually bad, or is it actually well-executed and you just dislike the story it chose to be because it isn't catering to your specific desires and expectations?

[brian-kinney-apologist]

how I slept last night knowing that s3 of iwtv is secured, rockstar lestat is happening, akasha is on her way, loustat are endgame, ghost!claudia is a possibility, sam reid is not allowed to cut his hair short for a couple more years, daniel is now a vampire and the devil's minion is real:

[egophiliac]

bring back zooterkins, the best 17th-century swear word

I don't normally do Just Characters Swearing, but. ...this kind of wrote itself and then wouldn't leave my head. it comes from both a piece of character-writing advice that has always stuck with me, and also my conviction that Leona is 1000% funnier as a character if his dialogue has to stay G-rated. let Kalim say fuck, but don't let Leona say bastard.

(I'm sorry)

[maeamian]

Part of the reason that Republicans are so desperately acting like they will never lose again is because they are deeply terrified that this is their last real chance to win. The big orange dipshit came in and gutted the party of everyone who wasn't a loyalist, which left it full of nasty little gremlins who have gaping voids where charisma and human decency is supposed to go.

They still hold a lot of power, but if we stop them this year the next presidential election may not be the Most Important One Of Your Life™, that's not a guarantee or anything, but if they don't win here and now their future looks grim, this dipshit is the only guy they have left and he's extremely diminished and has his brains leaking out of his ears at this point. We can beat him into the ground.

So that's what we're gonna fucking do. We're gonna break these fucking fash. They will crash upon us and we're gonna break their fucking necks. When they come for us they will lose because they're fucking losers and we have each other's backs which is something they fundamentally are incapable of comprehending.

[snail-studios]

ponyo au part 3 🐟

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

It's just guys night talk! Don't worry about it!

(Read Tiger Tiger and shake this man awake so he can finish that thought!)

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather Previous / Next

[nyaslashthreat]

shout out to when i told my dad about goncharov and he figured out it was fake because i told him "1973 martin scorsese film with robert de niro" and he said that wasn't possible because the godfather came out in 1972 and the godfather part II came out in 1974 and they wouldn't have had time to make a movie in between. a perfectly good jest, foiled by this man's weird and vast knowledge set

[blanketforcas]

i think what saves me from a lot of discourse is that i'm simply Not Reading All That