#but i'm not going to stop because boy oh boy this is curing my depression single handedly | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

crazyk-imagine · 1 year ago

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Call All You Want

Pairing: Leonard "Wolfman" Wolfe (Henry "Wolfman" Ruth) x Fem!reader

Characters: Fem!reader, Carole Bradshaw, Charlotte "Charlie" Blackwood, Leonard "Wolfman" Wolfe, Nick "Goose" Bradshaw, Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Sarah Kazansky, Tom "Iceman" Kazansky, Ron "Slider" Kerner, Charles "Chipper" Piper, Marcus "Sundown" Williams, Sam "Merlin" Wells, Rick "Hollywood" Neven, Baby Wolfman (Howler)

Warnings: Angst, fluff, slight club au, the reader and Leo have a fight, this started off as a different idea but I don't hate this, the gang is at the club, Mav and Goose chaos, Goose making fun of Ice and Slider, Ice and Ron being a slightly less chaotic duo, the other guys being club boys, slight crack behavior, Chipper is a cage dancer lol, Ice talks like he's had experience before with dancers, mentions of pregnancy, I cannot get enough of this man, I love writing for him so effing much, Wolfman fics cure depression, in my mind it's canon Wolfman's kids are nicknamed howler

Word Count: 4,671

A/N: Was this inspired by the iconic song Telephone that I hadn't listened to since I was a kid and came up with this idea? Maybe

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Hello, hello, baby You called, I can't hear a thing I have got no service In the club, you see, see

You’re barely two minutes into the club when your phone starts buzzing (again). You take your phone out of your pocket, “hello?”

“-ey want to talk with y- but-”

“I can’t hear you, Leonard. We just got here. I don't think there's any service here. Can you hear me?” You hold a finger to your ear with your free hand to try and listen to him better.

“Break- ing up wi- you…”

You don't hear anything else after that.

Wha-wha-what did you say? Oh, you're breaking up on me Sorry, I cannot hear you I'm kinda busy

“You- you’re breaking up with me?”

“N- over the- phone.”

“Yeah, I heard you loud and clear earlier today and now.” You scoff, “don’t call me anymore tonight.” You hang up on him and head over towards the girls, who are waiting for you at the bar. “I am done dealing with idiots for the night. Have we ordered yet?”

Carole glances over at Charlotte with a concerned expression, the latter looking back at her with raised brows.

“What happened?” The former asks.

“I thought we could talk when I got home but I guess not.”

“Why?” Charlie chimes in.

K-kinda busy K-kinda busy Sorry, I cannot hear you I'm kinda busy

You shrug, “don’t really know what happened and don’t want to talk about it besides we’re here to enjoy our girls’ night.”

After waiting for Sarah to finish her big drink order, she makes way for you three. "Ladies, what are we having?"

It shouldn't have taken as long as it did but with her having to work and train a new bartender, it took a while before you got your drinks.

The lieutenant grabs the drinks while your longtime friend pulls you towards a free table.

You roll your eyes and shove your phone further into your pocket.

"Is he still calling?" Carole asks.

You stare at her with pursed lips, taking a sip of your drink. "Of course, he is. What else does this man have to do other than bother me and try to make things right? I'd appreciate it more if I wasn't annoyed."

Just a second It's my favorite song they're gonna play And I cannot text you with A drink in my hand, eh You shoulda made some plans with me

Charlotte takes her seat beside the blonde, setting the drinks down. “I miss anything while trailing behind you two?"

"He's still calling," she says with a bored tone.

"You haven't blocked him?"

"Why would I?" You look at her over your glass with furrowed brows.

"Because he's an idiot, who tried to pick a fight over something stupid, I'm sure and you deserve to enjoy yourself without him calling."

Carole shrugs, "I mean, she could do that, or she can come with me," she grabs your hand, "to the dance floor."

You stop her, "I don't know."

"Just let go for a little bit," Charlotte adds, helping the other girl try and pull you onto the dance floor.

"But-"

"Nope," they shake their heads and haul you onto the floor.

You knew that I was free And now you won't stop calling me I'm kinda busy Stop callin', stop callin' I don't wanna think any more

You sneak away from the two, checking your phone. You sigh, debating on answering him or leaving him on read.

“Don’t respond to his text,” Carole tells you, glancing over your shoulder. “We’re busy, like you said we can enjoy the night.”

You turn to her, “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“I know, honey.”

“Take me away or let me lose my mind forever?”

She chuckles, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “That’s my line and I only use with my Goose.”

You playfully groan, “don’t talk about your sex life with me.”

“I never do, you just assume.”

“And you have to stop lightly implying what you and your hubby do.”

“But your facial expressions are my favorite thing, and they make my day.”

“The moon is out.”

She rolls her eyes, “okay, they make my nights too.”

I left my head and heart on the dance floor Stop callin', stop callin' I don't wanna talk anymore I got my head and my heart on the dance floor Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

Charlotte breaks away from the dance floor, standing in front of you two. “Okay, ladies. Are we going to keep talking or dance so we can forget about our troubles?”

“I like the second option,” the blonde says.

“Great, we’re doing this.” She turns around and spots a familiar face along with a few others. “Jesus,” she mumbles to herself. “You two go to the dance floor while I,” she shakes her cup, rattling the ice in the empty glass. “Get a refill.”

Carole notices the expression on her face and the way her eyes linger at the door. She turns and sees the guys walking into the club. She mentally face palms at the sight of her goofy husband waving his hand around like a mad man. “Come on, it’s time to dance.” She pulls you away before you can see anything or anyone that could ruin your mood.

You were barely able to take a sip of your drink before being hauled off. You don’t know what to do with this whole thing.

Is it considered a fight? You don’t know.

You’ve never known Leonard to act this way before.

He loves the guys; they’ve become his family so the little teasing comments shouldn’t have made him as upset as they did.

When it first happened, you didn’t know what to think; his attitude at the Top Gun barbecue was normal.

You close your eyes and wave your arms in the air (making you feel like the popular/ party girl in the movies), letting your annoyance escape you. It takes a lot for his anger to get the best of him.

Stop telephonin' me Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh I'm busy, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh Stop telephonin' me

The comments weren’t even that bad, the more you think about it; if anything, they were more endearing for Leonard but- you still don’t understand why he lost his composure today.

You lower your hands onto your head, trying to figure out what could have happened. You know it didn't happen in the morning because he was happy since he was going to be practicing in the air and that always made him happy no matter what.

Breakfast was good, you sent him off with a kiss as usual and he got to use the phone which was shocking since he normally can't because the other guys get to it before him.

The call was good, you could hear Rick asking him about you and trying to steal the phone from him.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh Call all you want, but there's no one home And you're not gonna reach my telephone Out in the club, and I'm sippin' that bub And you're not gonna reach my telephone

Pete stops in front of Charlie first. "How's my favorite girl?"

She raises a brow and purses her lip, "you tell me. Your number one hasn't come by yet so you'll have to wait until then."

He chuckles and places a hand over his chest. "You wound me, honey."

"It's a gift." She takes a step forward. "Do you want to tell me why all of you are when you know we were trying to have a girl’s night?"

A nervous chuckle escapes him as he scratches the back of his head. "You see I was trying to stop," he gulps. "Wolf- Wolfman but he got past us, and we had to follow him."

"Is that all?"

He nods, "pretty sure, yeah. Goose?"

"Huh?" The mustached man lowers his head to try and hear better over the music.

"We followed Wolf because he got past us, right?"

"Oh, yeah. He just-" he lightly claps his hand and extends his arm and whistles, "went right past us and here we are."

"And that has nothing to do with the other guys here?"

They glance over their shoulders.

"Ice is here for his girl. Slider is looking for company, if you know what I mean," Nick explains, raising his brows to emphasize his innuendo.

She sighs, "when don't I?"

He merely smiles at her comment. "Merlin wanted to tag along and- uh- other guys weren't busy."

She looks around for the man of the hour.

Call all you want, but there's no one home And you're not gonna reach my telephone Out in the club, and I'm sippin' that bub And you're not gonna reach my telephone

"Where is he?"

Now the two are confused.

"He's not here?" Pete asks.

"He was just behind us," Nick adds.

They turn to one another. "Wasn't he behind you?"

"No. I thought he was with you."

"No, see, Mav. You've got it wrong. I came in first, like we discussed then you were supposed to come in with Wolf and make it seem like we met here by accident."

Charlotte tilts her head, crossing her arms. "And you two said it was a coincidence that you all were here."

"Dammit, Mav. You got us caught!" He smacks his arm.

"I got us caught? I'm not the one who just exposed us and our plan."

"Fine, fine." The mustached man rolls his eyes, "we're both to blame."

"I don't think so."

"Are these two idiots giving you a hard time?" Tom asks her.

She smiles and shakes her head, "unfortunately no but maybe you two can answer why you're all here?"

Tom and Ron glance at each other.

"Moral support and to get him a date," the man with frosted tips informs her.

"I told you I could get my own date."

"You've been doing jack with the way you complain about being single."

Those two-start arguing alongside the other duo leaving Charlotte with a growing headache. "Why do I ask?"

Boy, the way you blowin' up my phone Won't make me leave no faster Put my coat on faster Leave my girls no faster I shoulda left my phone at home

You don't feel the buzzing of your phone, too into your thoughts.

Was today anything special? No, if it was, you'd both have it on your calendars because you know you both aren’t the best with dates.

Could it have been an important Top Gun thing you needed to do and forgot about? No.

Everything that could go wrong or has gone wrong before has been crossed off your mental list.

'Cause this is a disaster Callin' like a collector Sorry, I cannot answer Not that I don't like you I'm just at a party

He taps Carole's shoulder. "Can I talk to her?"

She avoids his gaze. "I don't know if that's such a good idea, Wolf."

"I just- I want to talk to her. This place sucks with service so I couldn't tell her over the phone. Please," he pulls out his puppy dog eye expression, knowing whenever he uses it on anyone, they cave.

She sighs. "Am I going to regret this?"

He immediately shakes his head. "No, this is going to be good for us. I'm- I got this."

"If, and only if, you're sure."

"I am."

She smiles and pats his shoulder. "Go, get her stud."

He chuckles, making sure she makes it to her husband (who's distracting the other blonde with ease).

You still can't figure it out for the life of you, but you do know that you want to stomp on your phone and break it. You open your eyes and grab your phone. "What?" You growl. "You've been ringing me off the hook since we left. I told you we'll talk when I get home- why is there music coming from your line?"

"Turn around."

"What?"

And I am sick and tired Of my phone ringin' Sometimes I feel like I live in Grand Central Station Tonight I'm not takin' no calls

You spin around and find him standing just a few feet from you. You hang up and place it back into your pocket, walking closer towards him. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk."

"You wanted to talk?"

He takes a step towards you. "Can we please talk about this elsewhere?"

"I don't want to talk to you after you kept endlessly blowing up my phone and then-" You stop when he pulls you away from the dance floor. "Hey. I wasn't done."

He stops when you two stops at your table, it's the only spot in the place that isn't jam packed with other people. "I know you weren't, but I want to be able to hear you when you scream at me and scrunch that nose of yours because you can't avoid me."

You cross your arms, rolling your eyes. "Why are you here?"

"I want to talk."

"Did you think maybe I didn't?"

"The service here sucks so how could I tell what you did or didn't want to do?"

"You think my ignoring you was for fun?"

He shrugs, "honestly, I think the both of us haven't been our usual selves today."

"You're one to talk."

"Can we- can we please not do this?"

"Do what?" You uncross your arms. "I'm acting perfectly fine."

"I don't want this to become a fight."

"It's a little too late since this is where we are, just a few steps away from fighting?"

He straightens his posture. "I'm trying to fix what I started. I don't- I don't like it when we fight."

"Neither do I but it's really hard when one of you doesn't think it's worth talking about."

"It's not that."

'Cause I'll be dancin' 'Cause I'll be dancin' 'Cause I'll be dancin' Tonight I'm not takin' no calls 'Cause I'll be dancin'

You reach forward and grab his hand. "Then what is it because I can't change anything if you don't talk to me."

He doesn't say anything else as his shoulders hunch over.

"This is why I made plans because you're not willing to talk." You remove your hand from his. "Now, if you'll excuse me. I'll be going back onto the dance floor so one of us can clear their heads."

You start walking away, not sure if you should be listening to him breathing with how much he has been acting like an ass today. You don't want to waste your time with something he clearly doesn't want to talk about even though he acts like it.

He grabs your wrist and pulls you back towards the table. "Okay, okay. I'll- I'll tell you. It's just- it's a lot."

"You don't have to unpack it all now, you can tell me some or however much you want to but know I won't tell anyone because I don't need to share your business with anyone else. You know that which is why you've been pissing me off today."

He chuckles. "It' just," he sighs. "Today- today is an anniversary."

"Ours? Is it really?" You pull out your phone. "I thought we were better than that. We usually coordinate and-"

He grabs your phone, "you're right. It's not, it's one of mine."

You tilt your head. "One of yours?"

Stop callin', stop callin' I don't wanna think any more I left my head and my heart on the dance floor Stop callin', stop callin' I don't wanna talk any more I left my head and my heart on the dance floor

"What do you think they're talking about?" Nick leans back, asking his friend.

"I don't know. Maybe he's finally admitting why he's been off today," Pete told him.

"I mean, that'd be great, right? We wouldn't have to tiptoe around them and everything that's been going on."

Charlotte rolls her eyes, "would the two of you rather dance with each other than us?"

They push themselves off the other and return their attention to their partners.

"Where'd Ice and Slider go?" Nick asks his wife, looking around the room for their fellow crew mates.

"Maybe Ice got a girl for Slider?" His wife adds.

"You think those chumps managed to get a woman, like an actual woman and not the ones in their heads, to talk to them?" Nick stares at his wife like she's crazy.

"I do and you know they're not that bad."

"They may not be but they're not that nice either."

"It doesn't help that you and Mav pick on them."

"I'm sorry," he pushes her away slightly, keeping his hands on her hips. "Are you my wife or theirs because I'm not feeling very loved right now."

She smiles and steps closer, keeping her hands wrapped around his shoulders. "You know I'm yours, baby."

"Are you now?" He smirks.

She pecks his lips, "show me the way home or lose me forever, you punk."

He chuckles and resumes dancing with her while pulling her off the dance floor.

Sam, Rick, and Marcus sit in a corner enjoying their drinks while watching everyone mingle with their spouse and/ or significant other.

“Has anyone seen Chip since we got here?” Sam asks.

Rick shrugs, “not really, kind of lost him in the crowd as soon as we got in.”

“What's a cage dancer supposed to look like?”

The two turn to Marcus with confusion evident on their faces.

“What?” Sam starts.

“Where'd that come from?” Rick adds.

“I think Chip is up there,” he points to the cage on the second floor.

“Jesus,” Rick mutters. “How do you persuade a cage dancer out of a cage?”

They look at one another.

“I don't think any of us know the answer to that,” the blond adds.

“Should we try to get him down?” Marcus asks out loud.

“Leave him, he'll get out when he's ready,” Tom says, patting Rick's shoulder.

“It's always the quiet ones,” Ron mutters.

They all shake their heads, watching as one of their own has the time of his life.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh Stop telephonin' me Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

"The comments shouldn’t have bothered me, you know. I thought I was past this."

You furrow your brows. "Past what?"

"It's stupid."

You stand beside him, rubbing his upper back in a soothing manner. "It's not stupid if it's something that's bothering you."

He grabs your free hand that was resting on his shoulder, for support. "It's my parents’ anniversary."

"Oh."

He doesn't like talking about his family so this is all new for you and him.

"I don't talk about them because," he sighs. "My pops never treated my ma right and she never left him even though she should have. And there were people who used to say the same thing Mav and Goose were joking about, which wasn't that big of a deal but when I saw what day it was. I kind of-"

"Flipped out?"

He chuckles. "I wouldn't say that."

"Then what would you call it?"

He sighs before turning to face you and pulling you into his grasp. "Okay, maybe I did but it's only because you mean so much to me and I don't want us to end up like them. I don't want to end up like him, you know."

"We won't, you know why?"

I'm busy, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh Stop telephonin' me Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

He shakes his head.

"Because we're better. Yes, your parents didn't have the best relationship and your mother probably should have gotten out of that situation sooner but she didn't and hopefully got to live a long life where she got to see her kids grow up and get married or meet someone smart enough to keep their boyfriend at a distance."

He smirks, brushing his thumb on the back of your hand, against your knuckles. "Hey, now."

"I'm just saying."

"You can say all you want, and it won't change a thing, you know why?"

"Why?" He leans in, as if he's whispering a secret. "One way or another I'm getting a ring on that finger."

You avoid his gaze when he pulls back.

"You're looking a little flushed," he teases. "Do we need to step outside and get some air?"

You playfully shove him away, "no. I want to go back on the dance floor so I can get away from you."

He smiles, pulling you back into him. “You can't escape me, sweetheart."

You step towards him, standing toe to toe, "doesn't mean I can't try."

"You can try but it won't do you any good."

"I'm still going to try." You stomp your foot, knowing full well he's going to be right on your tail (exactly where you want him).

Can call all you want but there's no one home And you're not gonna reach my telephone 'Cause I'm out in the club and I'm sippin' that bub And you're not gonna reach my telephone

Tom glances over his shoulder when Sarah gestures to the dance floor where you and Leonard are, along with the (two) idiots and their girls.

Ron passes him, giving his buddy an ecstatic smile as he drags some poor girl with him.

"Jesus, where do you find them?" He mutters to himself.

She smiles and leans forward, "I told you things were going to get interesting when we left for the barbecue today."

"Yeah, yeah." He turns back to her. "What's a navy man got to do to get a free drink around here?" He playfully flirts with his girlfriend.

She rolls her eyes, "still gotta pay, pilot."

He groans, "are you sure? I think I can be pretty persuasive if I need to."

"Not today."

He sighs, pulling out his wallet, "if I must."

She smiles at him, letting the other bartender working with her take care of the other customers until she's done talking to him.

There's no better customer than her boyfriend.

Call all you want but there's no one home And you're not gonna reach my telephone 'Cause I'm out in the club and I'm sippin' that bub And you're not gonna reach my telephone

You stand beside the girls and start dancing less out of control than you did when you first got to the dance floor.

The girls’ glance at one another and smile, happy to see the two of you talk and make up (like adults and stopped avoiding the other [more you than him]).

Pete turns to him with a raised brow while Nick stares at him with a hopeful expression and both brows raised, doing a thumb up thumbs down gesture.

Leonard smiles and shakes his head before wrapping his arms around you, pulling you closer.

"I'm glad you two finally figured your shit out."

You give the mustached man a sarcastic smile, "as sweet as ever, aren't you, Nick? How did Carole ever get so lucky?"

He smiles back, kissing the top of his wife's head. "I don't know, she's just- she chose the best of the best, I guess."

"I'm pretty sure that's what you say about your partner and Ice but, okay."

He scoffs, "why are you ruining a good moment?"

"How am I ruining it?"

"With your-" He waves his hand in front of your face.

You stick your tongue out at him and lean further into Leonard's arms.

He bends down, "do you want to go back and sit down?"

You shake your head and smile at him, "nope. I'm perfectly fine where I am."

My telephone M-m-my telephone 'Cause I'm out in the club and I'm sippin' that bub And you're not gonna reach my telephone

You three went to the bathroom to fix yourselves (adding a little extra lipstick… to leave marks) and went to the restroom before leaving. "It wasn't stupid."

They both glance at you in the mirror and ask, "what?"

"It wasn't stupid like you thought," you tell Charlotte. "It was something serious for him and I think tonight was good for us." You can’t fight the smile that sneaks its way onto your lips. “I think it made us closer than before.”

Carole smiles, “good, maybe it’s a good thing the guys snuck him in then.”

After that night you guys were better than before because you got to learn something else about him and learned more about how he got to become the man you see today, and that's something you wouldn't ever trade for.

Maybe other than-

My telephone M-m-my telephone 'Cause I'm out in the club and I'm sippin' that bub And you're not gonna reach my telephone

You stare at the ring on your finger.

"He's lucky, you know."

You turn to your longtime friend. "Who?"

She purses her lips and rolls her eyes. "You know who, you weirdo."

You suck in air through your teeth to exaggerate. "I don't know, Care. This little guy here seems lucky," you rub your protruding six-month pregnant belly. You lean as forward as you can, mumbling under your breath. "Lucky to stomp on my bladder and make his poor mother need to pee every five minutes."

"It's been at least ten minutes, a new record," she jokes, her laughter dying down when you don't join in. "At least he'll be home in a few."

"Not soon enough, I need his soothing hands."

"Oh, gross," she shrieks.

"Oh, don't be like that, you know what I mean and don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about. I swear he gives the best foot rubs, I've never had better and you're one to talk, missy. You always kindly refer to your sexual escapades with your hubby."

"I do not!"

The door opens and you two don't stop.

"Do too."

"Do not! I'm hurt, very hurt that you would even imply such a thing."

"I feel like I shouldn't have come in."

You turn to your fiancé and smile at him. "Don't feel like that. Now, come here. I swear I haven't seen you today."

He bends down and pecks your lips. "You just want me to give you a foot massage.”

You scoff, "how dare you." You sniffle, cover your eyes.

"Sweetheart, honey, I didn't mean to make you cry-"

"You didn't! This spawn of yours did."

"I'm gonna go," she whispers to him.

He nods and waves at her till she gets to the door. "How about I give my special girl a nice, long foot rub and we watch some of our favorites?" He rests his head on the arm of the couch. "Do you like that idea?"

You wipe your under eye and nod, glancing down at him, wondering how you ever got so lucky to find a guy like him.

"I'm the lucky one." He pecks your temple and starts grabbing stuff for your relaxing night.

"How did you know?"

"I'm psychic."

You narrow your eyes to him.

"I'd be a bad fiancé if I didn't know what you wanted."

Before you fall asleep, you swear you hear him whispering to the baby.

"-nd I told her I'd get a ring on her finger one way or another. You had nothing to do with it but that was some pretty funny timing, little howler."

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For my fellow Wolfman lover <33 @callmemana @kmc1989 @blueoorchid

34 notes · View notes

ms-demeanor · 3 years ago

Note

I don’t duck with predatory schools or cheap unaccredited courses/ capitalism/white washed alternative medicines… but does you beef with alternative practitioners extend to Eastern/ traditional medicinal practices as a whole? Like you don’t think herbalism or acupuncture have healing capabilities?

I am deeply, deeply skeptical of nearly all alternative medicine, but you are unlikely to find anyone who says there are no benefits to most types of alternative medicine. (I'll say it about chiropractic and homeopathy though - there's nothing that a chiropracter can do for you that a physical therapist or massage therapist can't do better and more safely, and homeopathy won't do anything except possibly poison more infants)

However, here's the problem with that:

Acupuncture appears to have fairly reliable effects that are not explained by the placebo effect for things like pain relief, anxiety, and depression, and may also help with disorders relating to those things (insomnia and asthma, for instance). But you should not stop taking your asthma medications because you are being treated for asthma with acupuncture because if you are asthmatic, deciding "oh, my asthma [which treatable, but not curable] is cured!]" and throwing away your rescue inhaler can kill you.

Herbal remedies may be comforting for some people, and may have some effects, but it is dangerous to use, for instance, St. John's Wort to treat depression because it is impossible to standardize a dose of St. John's Wort in something like a tea or an extract, and supplements are not regulated in the US so it is impossible to know *what* dose you're getting in a St. John's Wort supplement.

Many people find chiropractic to be a reasonable means of pain relief, and I'm not going to pretend that their pain isn't reduced from chiropractic treatment, but literally hundreds of studies suggest that for the things that chiropractic has any reliable measurable effect on (musculoskeletal pain) you are going to get better treatment from a massage therapist or a physical therapist.

Ayurvedic medicine has a long history of things like surgeries including cataract surgyery and cauterization to treat bleeding, which do actually work! However ayurvedic medicine also often includes consumption of harmful materials like heavy metals alongside herbs that may have actual medical benefits, or practices like oil pulling, which do absolutely nothing.

Chinese Traditional Medicine may have some useful treatments, but is also associated with things like lead poisoning.

Use of Kava as an herbal alternative pain treatment was linked to a spate of people having liver failure. Kava does work to treat pain, it just also causes liver failure at completely unacceptable rates and at completely unknown doses.

So I don't think that alternative medicines are uniformly awful. Some stuff seems to work okay, and there is some stuff that is very unlikely to cause harm even if it doesn't actually heal.

But, hoo boy, herbalism has *immense* capacity to harm (because it is difficult to ensure accurate dosing, because herbal medications may interfere with allopathic medications, because it is difficult to avoid contaminants and easy to make mistakes with preparations in herbal medicine), which is made worse when people choose herbalism in place of other treatments. There are a thousand horror stories of people using black salve (a caustic substance that is used to treat tumors by chemically burning them off) to treat breast cancer, which is only marginally more horrifying than people who chose to forego cancer treatment in favor of herbalism.

And I'm not particularly in the business of telling people what to do, but I am someone with chronic illnesses who has had alternative treatments proposed to me in place of recognized best practices and I understand that for people with a new or frightening diagnosis it is easy to fall victim to a confident person who is offering 'treatment' at a lower cost and with more hands-on care than an overworked specialist who doesn't take your shitty insurance. Because of that I think that it is often safer to assume that alternative treatments are at best unproven and to start treating medical conditions with allopathic medicine and to use alternative treatments alongside of allopathic medicine (with the full knowledge of your medical team - a lot of "detoxifying" alternative medicines work by making all of your medications ineffective!)

And even if you're going to be using herbalism or acupuncture to treat someone and doing so in conjunction with proven treatments, I still think it's important for the practitioner of alternative medicine to be intellectually curious and scientifically educated enough to recognize when their treatments aren't working; if you have cheerfully taken a course in chiropractic and homeopathy as part of your alternative medicine degree, that does not suggest that you are being given a rigorous, evidence-based education in herbalism or acupuncture by the school that provided the homeopathy class!

It's like if you were getting a degree in engineering and had to take a class on the physics of the time cube in order to graduate. Time Cube Theory 204 cancels out Advanced Fluid Dynamics! Time Cube Theory 204 calls into question the validity of all your other classes! Time Cube Theory 204 is a major alarm bell, and if that didn't chase you out of the building you shouldn't be trusted to build a dam!

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catboy-lover-archive · 4 years ago

Text

Obey Me Romanian MC

idea inspired by @/harunayuuka2060 (too shy to tag them)

Nu ştiu ce inspirație supraomenească m-a lovit dar am început asta la 2 dimineața și am terminat-o la 6.30

Im sleep deprived bc I stayed up all night doing this, enjoy gagicile mele

[added translations]

(under the cut bc this bitch is long af)

Lucifer: Are you not enjoying your meal?

MC: This food isn't even good. Next time I'm bringing my bunica to make you guys sarmale best thing you ever tried 👩‍🍳👌😘 mwah

MC: I'm not gonna go out with Satan, Beel, Asmo or Belphie.

Asmo: Awww

Beel: :(

Belphie: What?!

Satan: Why?

MC: Why date a guy who's favorite color is not in romanian flag? 🤔🇷🇴

Asmo: But I thought you could-

MC: For the last time IM NOT A VAMPIRE I CAN'T HYPNOTIZE PEOPLE OR MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME

Levi: Ohhh!!!! So are you like familiar with Castlevania-

MC: We don't talk about that *cries in disappointed*

Solomon: What is this weird potion.

MC: *puts bottle of țuică (plum brandy) on the table*

MC: This is not a potion, but a solution to all of your problems gagica 💖

MC: *talking to Lucifer* Oh iubire (love), stop crying over Diavolo again. Why cry over guy who would wear vagabond everyday in my country?

MC: Tsch tsch tsch

Lucifer: What the fuck is Vagabond

MC: Only the worst of streetwear existent. Only f-boys use it

Lucifer: Fair enough

Beel: Why do you want to try out for the sports team?

MC: Because Steaua, my country's team, disappointed me 😔

MC: Mammon! Asmo! Let me show you guys a thing called ✨manele✨

(after the Belphie incident)

MC: Does anybody have a belt.... a belt so I can...no reason...papuci de casă (slippers) works too

MC: Hey Belphie! Did you enjoy your punishment? 😜

Belphie: My butt still hurts...

MC: Next time it's the lingură de lemn ♡ (wooden spoon)

*MC dancing to Braşoveanca*

Mammon: W-what's that???

Satan: Some sort of ritual I suppose

Asmo: *joining in* It's fun!

MC: Doi✌paşi🦵înainte➡️şi😱doi😩înapoi⬅️ (two steps forward two steps back)

MC: Who has summoned me?

Satan: Belphie isn't feeling well and the medicine didn't really do it's job.

MC: Everyone watch closely because I'm going to teach you guys a sacred ritual called ✨Frecție cu Oțet✨

Satan: You're just pouring vinegar on his wrist.

MC: Now here comes the fun part. *maggages his wrists*

Belphie: Someone please kill me this is unbearable

MC: Am I allowed to say Tatăl Nostru (Lord's prayer) or is that too....uhhh weird since yall are demons and stuff-

Barbatos: MC...

MC: I'm sorry but crossing myself after I finish a meal is implemented in my brain. It's in the default settings.

Barbatos: What happens if you don't cross yourself?

MC: Lingura de lemn (wooden spoon) *shivers*

Diavolo: Do you like my castle?

MC: Baby, Peleş puts you to shame.

MC: Also, too much current (swift). Close the damn windows

Lucifer, giving up on life: Oh not again...

MC: DA PĂ CIMPOI DA PĂ CIMPOI JOACĂ FETELE LA NOI 👉👈😳

MC: Real music here 😌

MC: There, there gacica (girlfriend). Don't cry. *pats him on the back*

Lucifer: Do you got any more țuică...

MC: That's the spirit!

MC: I know I technically didn't die, but can we please have a funeral??? There is this really tasty cake just for this special occasion called colivă. Beel is okay with it so- hey don't ignore me! wait guys this is important- wAIT!

Satan: I hate Lucifer because he is my father.

Belphie: I hate Lucifer because he sucks in general.

MC: I hate Lucifer because Favorite color is red which is COMMUNISM COLOUR 😡‼

Solomon: See?? MC likes my cooking!

MC: Piftie...Caltaboş...

MC: Solomon, you would make a very good romanian housewife. Say, have you ever considered getting a 701st wife...?

Beel: *munching happily on the food MC makes*

Lucifer: *getting a fucking break*

MC: *making grătar(barbeque) cu mici*

MC: Everybody loves 1 Mai!

MC: Beelphiiieee!!!! I have a spell for you 😊

Belphie: Please not the lingură de lemn-

MC: *boop on the nose* ✨du-te dracu✨ (go to hell)

Lucifer: How did you make everyone behave?

MC: *looking at the papuc de casă in hand*

MC: You either die a hero...or live enough to become the villain...

Lucifer: Interesting, can you teach me?

MC: The secret is to use your wrist-

MC, whispering: Psst! Mammon! How's the sarmale trading going?

Mammon: Its okay, but why can't you just give me the recipe?

MC: E din moşi strămoşi (it's from older generations) I can't give it to you

MC: Hey pisi, want a ride in my Dacia?

Simeon: ...what? :)

MC: Come on gagica(girlfriend)! We are going to visit my family they will love you!

MC: You can also bring Luke. Just uhhh don't let him drink from the "juicebox" ok? It's not- It's not juice in there

MC: But you can drink. I won't tell anyone.

Diavolo: MC you can't leave yet. Not even for a quick visit back home.

MC: Auzi, da du-te-n p- (well why don't you fuck yourself on my dic-)

MC: *sigh* Sometimes I wish Satan was wearing Vagabond instead of...whatever that is

Asmo: Ouch, but yeah I guess we are that desperate.

Satan: I'm never tutoring any of you again.

MC and Luke, just vibing honestly: ⬇️Intră-n👇apa🌊mării🐚şi🐋nu🐟te🙄teme😱ai😳să-nveți🤯să-noți🐠printre🤔sirene🧜‍♀️🧜‍♂️

(go in the sea's water and don't you be afraid you'll learn to swim among mermaids)

MC: No Asmo, I have a date to the ball he's right here *points at țuică bottle*

Belphie: *misbehaving*

MC: Vai, vai, vai. Sărumâna Belphie 😃 ( well, well, well good day Belphie)

MC: *grabs the papuc (slipper)*

MC: NO LUCIFER IT CAN NOT BE AN AN NOU FERICIT (happy new year) IF WE DO NOT DANCE THE HORĂ

MC and Luke, vibing yet again: POVEȘTI DIN FOLCLORUL MAGHIAR!!! (maghiar folklore stories!)

MC: Where is my țuică? :)

Everyone: *quiet*

MC: I won't get mad :)

MC:

MC: Foaie verse de trifoi~ *papuc reappears* Dați băi țuica înapoi (green leaf of clover, give the țuică back you fucker)

Everybody: *runs*

MC: Mândruțelor (girls), come back until I'll put this to good use

Levi: *exists*

MC: *in love with him bc his fav color is in the Romanian flag and not in the commie flag*

MC: Te las să te lingi cu mime în parcare la lidl (I'll let you french kiss me in the Lidl market parking lot)

MC: Lucifer you don't understand!

MC: Sandu Ciorbă cured my depression!

MC: Muie cretinii pământului (fuck y'all stupid asses) my țuică is back and I'm not sharing anymore

Asmo: We're doing hot girl shit tonight

MC: Ne curvim rău (we're hoeing)

MC: futu-ți cristelnița mătii (fuck your mother's font) Simeon you're the one that drank all my țuică

MC: I'll let it slide this once, if u take me for shaorma(shawarma) in Piața Victoriei (Victoria's market)

Solomon: Whoops, I accidentally messed up the sarmale recipe

MC: Aşadar războiu alesu l-ai (So you have chosen war)

Mammon: MC, how do you say "I hate you" in romanian?

MC: Dar eu sunt mândru că sunt twink. (I'm proud to be a twink)

Mammon, clueless: ok thanks

MC, to Belphie: I had such a rough day, please fute-mi una (fuck me over) and not the way I like

Mammon: What would be a quick way to make money?

MC: Gagica(girlfriend), listen. Culegător de sparanghel (asparagus picker) in Spain is your go-to.

Asmo: *blasting manele vechi (old manele).2006*

Asmo: Please love me!

MC: *already in wedding attire*

MC: Beel! Here, try this! Yeah yeah its completely fine!

MC: ...what do you mean it looks like Solomon's cooking?

MC: THIS IS PIFTIE AND YOU WILL LEARN TO APPRECIATE IT

MC: *dragging them all by the hand to therapy*

MC: Păi aşa-i hora pe la noi măi bade- (This is hora to us well my mans)

MC, talking to Lucifer: Măi omu lu dumnezeu îți fut una de nu te vezi (listen God's man I'll fuck you over that you'll not see again) if u lay a finger on my țuică again

MC: I don't care that you have daddy issues, this is MINE now thank you very much.

MC: Doamne cu ce ți-am greşit? (God, what have I done to you?)

MC: tanti Lilith, ia-mă cu tine gagicuțo milf ce ești (Miss Lilith, take me with you you milf girlfriend)

MC: Chiar și culesul de căpșuni din Spania era mai ok dacât (even strawberry picking in Spain is better than) Therapist Simulator hell edition

Diavolo: *exists*

MC: Vrei să-ți fiu a ta mireasă? (Do you want me to be your wife?)

Simeon: *exists*

MC: Vrei să-ți fiu Ileană Cosânzeană? ( Want me to be your fairy wife?)

Belphie: Every time I doze off they say this weird phrase...

MC: Dormeo(mattress company) ! Noapte bună! (good night!)

MC: What do you mean im not allowed to have a cross around my neck?

MC: My dead grandmother would kill me it's Sfântu Andrei for fucks sake

MC: The law is law we gotta put garlic and salt everywhere around the house

MC: This is what you get from taking my țuică away AGAIN

MC: I mean, at least i dont have to take the bacalaureat and face the woman-hating-Ion-Creangă-fucking-twink-looking-nightmare-inducing Eminescu so

MC: *drinks a Mona Spirt (rubbing alcohol) bottle in one go*

MC: that works wonders for me

#IM SLEEPY SO IM GOING TO SLEEP AT 7AM BYYYE #♡♡♡#romanian mc #romanian mc obey me #obey me #obey me swd #Diavolo e dilf nu ați auzit de la mine #romanian #romania

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theliterarywolf · 6 years ago

Note

I don't normally extend this kind of logic to characters, but I swear, if Sayaka from Madoka was a dude, EVERYONE would be clowning HEAVY on em then, calling them an incel & all things under that umbrella. Seriously, her whole attitude just screamed the "BUT I'M SUCH A NICE GUY" syndrome. Every time she was bitching, I was just like "UGH can we PLEASE go back to literally any of the other sad girls?" On the other hand, I have mad respect for how Hitomi handled her side, she wasn't fuckin around.

My main issue with Sayaka, whenever I rewarch PMMM, always kicks in at three places:

1. ‘You sold your soul for a boy, bitch, whhhhhyyyyyy?’

“she was so selfless to do so” No she was not, stop giving her this credit. She did it so she would have an in for violin-boy when he got back on his feet.

And, you know what? Fine! It’s dumb but I wouldn’t be so mad at it if she just owned up to it earlier than when she let herself plummet into despair and turn into a witch.

Also, please people, don’t let anyone talk about ‘misogyny’ or ‘Bechdel test’ here. It’s really not, Sayaka’s just annoying here.

Hell, even Bebe making her contract for a cheesecake to give her sick, emotionally-distant mother but immediately falling into despair afterwards when she realizes ‘Wait, why didn’t I use my wish to cure my mom’s cancer?!’ is a better show of character, as tragically-ironic as it is.

2. ‘HITOMI GAVE YOU A CHANCE, BITCH, WHHHHYYYYY?!?!’

It’s not like Hitomi just swooced right in out of nowhere, she gave Sayaka a chance to say ‘Yeah, I want that violinist D,’ before she hit him up. Sayaka, on this pretentious, self-centered, faux self-sacrificial kick, said ‘Nah, fam, go on ahead. Peace be with you -- *the second Hitomi hooks up with violin-boy* Wait, no, I changed my mind but I’m too much of a woobie to admit I fucked up..!’

I know the counterargument here is ‘oh, she was feeling depressed due to finding out the truth about being a magical girl/Hitomi chose a really bad time to do this’.

S... S... Sayaka had a loooooooong time to get with V-boy (look, I don’t remember his name and I’m not going to bother to look it up) before shit hit the fan. She just... didn’t? It was almost like she was expecting the world to stop and center around her once she became this idealized magical girl and that everything would go by her time. Bitch, the world exists and moves outside of you and your shit choices!

3. “B-but she’s just a hormonal teenager~!” SO JUST FUCK HOMURA, MADOKA, MAMI, AND KYOKO, RIGHT BITCH?!

When people bring up Sayaka’s age and hormones and whatever, I just have to scream because, like, Mami was probably Sayaka’s age when she got into that car crash and made the contract so she wouldn’t fucking DIE

Kyoko was younger than Sayaka when she made her contract to save her father’s controversial church standing

Madoka was Sayaka’s age when she ACTUALLY SELFLESSLY sacrificed herself to become GOD for the sake of all magical girls everywhere

Homura was Sayaka’s age when she made her contract so she could essentially sacrifice her life over and over again to try and keep Madoka from meeting a miserable demise.

Someone: ‘What about when she became evil-lesbian-Satan?’

Okay. Okay, yeah, BUT! That was only after the core events of the series.

Pardon this butchering of English but Sayaka Ain’t Shit. And I really wish that people would stop stanning her, Jesus.

#if she's your favorite Madoka character fine #but this is more about how some of her actions are just so BAD #and how some people look over that just to rave about her #Anonymous #replies

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creweemmaeec11 · 3 years ago

Text

The Villain of Your Story

You and your prompt cured my writer's block. Also, sorry I'm a lil rusty aha!

"If that's all then-" the hero said abruptly, before suddenly standing just as quickly.

They had to get out of here. They couldn't hold the tears back any longer, but they couldn't cry in front of everyone. A whole table of people who looked at them like they were stupid, to make such a big deal over this, as if the hero should be happy, not sad. They looked at hero like they were selfish for not jumping at the opportunity.

"Well, we still have to-" Superhero began, reaching for what looked like a stack of contracts, oblivious to their "lovers" distress.

But the hero couldn't stay any longer. Before superhero even finished their sentence the other had whipped around and all but ran out the door, nearly knocking over their chair in the process.

The room fell silent, and all eyes drifted to the head of the table. Superhero sighed, running a hand over their face. Ooohh boy...

Hero ran. They ran through a half dozen hallways, passing a couple people, a few who even tried to stop them to ask what was wrong, but the hero just kept running. They kept going until they got down to the basement, a place only the janitor (who was currently taking the day off) should have ventured.

That was where the hero broke. Tears began spilling over as they crawled underneath the stairs, curling up into a ball behind the faux safe privacy of the cardboard boxes and dust bunnies. They hugged their legs tightly, pulling them to their chest and burying their face in their knees. They just sobbed.

How? How could this have happened? The hero had given up so much for this city, almost everything. But the one thing the hero had dreamed of every night, the one goal that kept them going on the hardest days; was finding love. Getting married. Finding that someone who they really *clicked* with. They dreamed about movie dates and inside jokes. And kids. Oh, hero had always wanted to be a parent. Raising children, shaping the next generation, and having the love of their life there as well. A family. The thought used to make their heart sing.

Now it made their stomach turn.

Because in one fell swoop the city had taken that from them as well. Shattered the dream like it was nothing.

More sobs tore through them. It would probably seem silly to most people, to be so utterly upset by such a thing. They got to save the city! Save countless lives! And it wasn't like they were marrying Vlad the impaler, superhero was a good person. Surely it wouldn't be that bad?

The hero tried to picture it, waking up next to them, but it only broke them more.

It just wasn't what they wanted.

Superhero let out another quiet sigh from their place at the top of the stairs, rubbing the bridge of their nose. They felt awful. They'd been listening to their future fiance crying their eyes out for the past 5 minutes and they didn't know what to do.

Sure, they'd expected the hero wouldn't be excited about the idea, annoyed, maybe even bitter, but this? This was something else entirely.

They weren't expecting the hero to be absolutely melancholy, depressed, -worse, they sounded shattered.

What was the superhero supposed to do now? This really was the only way, but the hero was crying like someone they loved had just been shot. Would marrying them really be that bad? They knew that, well, the two of them certainly weren't in love or anything but... superhero liked hero, as a colleague at least. They'd considered them somewhat of a friend. Hero was also nice to talk to, and the two had laughed together on more than one occasion.

They sighed again, listening to the distressed crying beneath them that hadn't let up. What were they supposed to do?

Slowly, they took a step down the stairs and listened as the hero sucked in a sharp breath, trying to muffle their crying. They continued until they reached the bottom, before turning and approaching the small area beneath.

"Hero?"

No response.

They took another step closer, crouching down and pushing a box aside to reveal the hero's huddled form. Wide eyes met theirs before the hero's eyes pinned shut, forcing tears down their cheeks.

The sight was heartbreaking.

"Hero..."

The superhero didn't even really know what to say.

"Go away," the hero replied quietly, trying to hide the crying in their voice, "please- just go away,"

The superhero sighed for what felt like the umpteenth time that day, "listen," they started, reaching forward to lay what was meant to be a comforting hand on the hero's knee, but the second they made contact the hero flinched away.

"Wha-?"

"Hero?" A new voice called from the other end of the basement.

Oh no. In the chaos of everything, the hero had completely forgotten they were meeting with-!

The second the villain rounded the corner the superhero charged with their super speed. Luckily, the hero reacted just in time, using their own powers to ram the superhero off their course, causing them to collide with the metal lockers a few meters behind the criminal instead.

"DON'T!" The hero cried desperately, "Don't hurt them!"

"Hero....?" the villain stuttered, trying to make sense of what was happening, "hero what the hell happened?" They asked in concern as soon as they noticed the others distress.

The hero just turned and shook their head, tears flowing down their cheeks again. They felt pathetic, but now that the floodgates had opened, it was like they just couldn't stop.

"Go!" The hero said desperately, pushing gently at the villain's chest, "you have to- to get out of here!"

No way the villain was leaving them like this.

The hero whirled around at the sound of the superhero getting back to their feet.

"Please!" They cried, standing in front of the villain protectively, "please don't hurt them! Please, please, please-"

They rambled, starting to almost hyperventilate.

Superhero was frozen. They didn't know what to do! Nothing today was making any sense! Everything seemed backwards! Their team discovering a way to save the city had turned into the worst news in the world, and now a hero was protecting a villain!

"Hero, hero, shhhhh," the villain said softly, sensing the superhero wasn't about to attack again, "They aren't doing anything, okay? They are just standing there, it's okay,"

The villain glared at the other in warning.

The hero seemed to realize the villain was right, allowing the criminal to then turn them around by the shoulders. Worryingly, the villain scanned their face. "What's wrong?"

Those two words seemed to break the hero all over again, and the dam came crashing back down. The hero launched themselves at their friend, clinging to them like a life preserver as they cried into their shoulder. They muttered something incoherent.

"Shhhhh," the villain soothed, wrapping their arms around the hero. One hand cradled the hero's head against their shoulder while the other rested on their back.

In the back of superhero's mind, they noted how the hero wasn't flinching away from the touch. No, they were leaning into it.

While the hero cried, the villain and superhero locked eyes. After a moment, while maintaining eye contact, the villain's hand fell from the hero's back and drifted down towards the criminal's hip. The superhero immediately tensed, but the villain simply lifted the corner of their jacket, revealing an empty belt, a silent message of being unarmed.

The superhero relaxed again, slowly figuring out the puzzle in front of them. It wasn't until the villain used their thumbs to wipe away the hero's tears and then kiss their forehead, however, that the final piece clicked into place.

Now though, superhero was left with a choice: for the greater good, were they willing to become the villain of someone else's story?

Short Prompt #2

All eyes settled on Hero, burning with sacrificial expectation.

“I- I don’t want to do that,” Hero barely whispered.

“Hero,” Superhero sighed from the head of the table. They rubbed the bridge of their nose between their fingers. “It’s the only way. Supervillain will destroy the entire city if we don’t do something, and none of us are powerful enough on our own.”

“So that’s it?” Hero felt like they might cry. “I’m just supposed to marry you and combine powers for the greater good?”

Superhero fixed them with a stare that was both sympathetic and judgmental. “Sacrifice is our job.”

“I’ve already given up everything. And all with the promise that one day we’d have a world where I could live happily with someone who loves me. Do I have to give that up too?”

Even though they phrased it as a question, Hero already knew the answer. Superhero knew they knew it too. They didn’t answer, just waited for Hero to reach the same page as the rest of them.

Hero bit their lip, forcing a chuckle to mask a sob. “Little early for a spring wedding, isn’t it?”

The table’s relief was palpable. The city had its hope. Hero had given their’s up.

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cookinguptales · 8 years ago

Note

Okay so weird question, but how exactly did you get diagnosed with POTS? I was diagnosed with hypermobility syndrome and partial arrhythmia a while ago, and it's only just recently that I've had a doc wonder if I have POTS. He didn't really tell me anything about POTS, and now I'm really lost! Do you think it's unlikely that I could get to be 21 and not be diagnosed?

Strap in, friend, because the story of how I got diagnosed is long and unpleasant.

So to start off, here’s a basic explanation of Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. It’s a syndrome, which means that it is a description of a collection of symptoms rather than an underlying cause. Frankly, doctors aren’t super sure why any of this happens, what exactly causes it, or even if it’s genetic or what. (But my mom, sister, and grandmother all show signs of mild POTS, so uh. It’s probably genetic.) The long and short of it, though, is that your blood vessels are supposed to automatically tighten or release in order to control blood flow. When you stand up, they tighten to counteract gravity and make sure blood stays where it should be. When you have POTS, your blood vessels don’t do what they’re supposed to do. Your autonomic nervous system stops controlling this tightening and loosening process, which means your blood flow is not being adequately controlled. (Also, there seems to be some research showing that #1, we tend to have more elastic blood vessels, which means they just expand when they fill up more – bad because that means your body can’t use blood pressure to regulate blood flow, either, and #2, we may not always have enough blood in our bodies to fill our blood vessels, so again, shitty blood pressure.) ANYWAY, what all this means in practice is that assorted parts of your body aren’t getting enough blood, or they’re getting too much blood. Blood does all sorts of important things for your organs, especially oxygenating them, so this really means that POTS is an “anything that can go wrong will go wrong” situation. Anything in your body that uses blood can go haywire at any time. And sorry to say, that’s everything.

Now, POTS is highly variable. Again, it’s a loose collection of symptoms, and those symptoms are different for literally every patient. POTS is actually super common in teenage girls, but it tends to be very mild and some teens (mostly boys, mind) completely grow out of it, so people often don’t even notice they have it. People only just started researching it and it’s still not talked about much, which, well, is probably due to sexism. I learned the hard way that teenage girls are not generally listened to when they complain about nebulous symptoms, especially if those symptoms have literally anything to do with hormones and menstruation. (Which POTS does. It’s…I think ¾ of all people who have it are biologically female, and onset usually accompanies periods of hormone fluctuation such as start of menstruation, childbirth, or start of menopause. Most sufferers get it in their teens when they start getting their period.) Like… It’s hard to really put this in a gender neutral way because I promise you, the reason doctors are shitty about POTS is tied to both the biological and societal effects of being female. That’s an aside though.

Anyway, tl;dr, it’s different for everyone and doctors think you’re nuts. When I was diagnosed, in the informational packet literally said “THIS IS NOT ALL IN YOUR HEAD” because so many patients have been repeatedly told that. For me, I was actually uh. I don’t want to say lucky? But in some ways I guess, yeah, lucky. I have a really bad case of POTS with some really severe symptoms. I have a lot of digestion problems, extreme exhaustion problems, dizziness, faintness, anxiety/depression, pooling/tingling/coldness in extremities, and here’s the biggie – blindness. When I stand up, I often just straight-up go blind. (Or if I’m just sitting there doing fucking nothing if I’m on an airplane.) It was really bad especially when I was a teenager. It used to be like literally every fucking time I stood up. (We later found out it was because all the blood was draining out of my head bc gravity. Turns out your brain likes blood! This is also why it hurts so much.) Now, doctors ignored most of what I told them about exhaustion, trouble keeping down food, aches and pains, etc. I was repeatedly told “oh, well, that’s just part of being a teenage girl”. Like honestly, try telling someone that you have exhaustion, pain, and nausea relating to a period and see how seriously you get taken. Jesus.

BUT UH THEY COULD NOT IGNORE THE BLINDNESS. Like I don’t care how teenage girl-y you are, it is not normal to go blind on the regular! My doctors could not figure out what the hell was happening. And I do mean doctors. I got POTS when I was around 10, along with my period. I was diagnosed when I was almost 18. In the meantime, I was passed around between dozens of doctors and honestly? I was a guinea pig. They didn’t know what was wrong with me so I was subjected to constant barrage of tests and treatments that made me a hell of a lot sicker. I was going to like 3 different doctors a week, sometimes every day. There are very few medical tests I have not had at least once. Some of the treatments they tried, I later learned, carried a strong risk of addiction, permanent neurological damage, and death. I was a drugged-out mess trying to drag myself through 15 flavors of physical therapy every day. Like uh. In short, my teenage years weren’t…good…

I finally got referred to like my sixth neurologist, and the guy was like “okay, you have been passed around between neurologists, cardiologists, ENTs, sleep disorder specialists, etc. for YEARS and we don’t know what’s wrong, so it makes no sense to keep ‘treating’ you – so I’m gonna take some readings and send them (and you) to a research hospital”. And that’s what he did! He took me off all of my medications (leading to the kind of DTs that honestly possibly could have killed me; I researched a few of the medications later and let’s just say you’re not supposed to go off them cold turkey) and did some tests. He found out some stuff like my blood pressure moves around a lot when I stand up. And sometimes my blood pressure was as low as 60/40. (Yo, that’s almost dead. The nurse took the reading three times with two different machines bc she was freaking out, lmao.) So he referred me to Mayo Clinic.

Now, what I did not know before this was that Mayo was actually the clinic that had discovered (and still researched) POTS! They saw a lot of girls like me. They took some blood, did a few tests, and when I had my appointment with them, they knew in under a half hour that I had POTS. I…cried. A lot. haha. It was so bizarre how many things in my life were actually an indicator of POTS. They were like “do you often sit all folded up?” and I basically exclusively do – and often got in trouble for it in school – and they were like “yeah, that’s POTS, you unconsciously try to keep all your limbs tucked in to reduce how far your blood needs to go”. Which is, I guess, why I tend to lose sensation in my legs and/or have my feet turn purple when I sit in normal chairs. lol. “Do you ever get dizzy or black out when you stretch or yawn?” oh yeah. “Do you get really sick when you take hot showers?” almost died once or twice, check! “Do you get weak when you lift things above your head?” you betcha. “Do you have a lot of problems with heat and sunlight?” OH YES I DO. Living in Florida was hell. I’d be vomiting and unable to stand up after like 30 minutes outside in the summer. I still vomit and get migraines if I look at a sunset, when the sun is strongest. Sensory sensitivity, especially photosensitivity, is a thing with POTS.

The actual diagnosis of POTS is kind of difficult. They usually have to do a ton of tests to rule everything else out first. Then they’ll usually try a tilt-table test (they tilt ya and measure your heart rate to see if your heartbeat skyrockets to help battle your blood doing weird shit) or a sweat test (which I am told is supposed to be painless but was one of the most painful experiences of my life so maybe it was a POTS thing) or look at your pee and see if you’re hella dehydrated. If you have POTS, you’re pretty much always hella dehydrated. (Gross but important: a symptom I never mentioned bc I didn’t know how abnormal it was – it burned like HELL when I peed. Turns out I was grossly, dangerously dehydrated. My urine was so concentrated that it was literally burning my urethra. idk how this slipped by so many doctors, but drink some dang water!) So it’s really a combination of tests for diagnosis, and they have to know to look for it in the first place! More and more doctors know about POTS now, but when I was first diagnosed almost a decade ago (this February! :’) when I went to college none of the school doctors knew about it. My family doctor didn’t know. None of my specialists knew about it. They wouldn’t give me student vaccinations bc they didn’t know how they’d interact with my brain. lol. It’s better now, though! I recently got a new doctor when I left my school’s health system, and she knew what POTS was! I was so happy, haha. Once I had a doctor literally google it right in front of me, so it was uh. A welcome change.

All this is to say that getting POTS diagnosed can be hell!! And I could definitely buy that you’re 21 and haven’t yet been diagnosed, especially if you’re female. My recommendation is this: the main treatment for POTS is diet and exercise, and that can’t hurt even if you don’t have POTS. I shit you not. There’s no cure or anything, but you are supposed to drink A LOT of water (I drink over a gallon a day, and that’s on days I’m not dealing with the sun) and eat a LOT of salt (”as much as you can stand” was their exact wording) and wear compression clothing (spanx and compression socks help me) and try to keep your body as toned as possible. It’s really easy to get out of shape when you have POTS (god knows I did), but they recommend trying to keep your blood moving. (THOUGH, CAVEAT!! I put on a lot of weight since I got diagnosed, and I have to admit. It’s gotten my blood pressure to a healthier level. So idrk what to make of that.)

I’m not gonna tell you to start eating massive amounts of salt when I don’t know your body, but drinking water can’t hurt you. So if you suspect that you may have POTS, start drinking water. This is not a replacement for a treatment plan, but it can’t hurt you! It can only help! So while you’re working with your doctor, just drink a lot of water and see if it helps you feel better. It is like night and fucking day with me.

Finally, POTS has a high comorbidity rate with other issues. In other words, if you have a severe case of POTS, you probably don’t only have POTS. A common illness to have with POTS is EDS, or Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. It’s a type of hypermobility, which may be why your doctor is concerned. (I don’t have EDS, probably, but I do have some pain/movement issues that they’ve never been able to pin down, so there’s probably…something. idk.)

Here’s my advice. Work with your doctor to try and figure things out. Drink water. Make sure you have a good doctor whom you trust. Even after I got diagnosed, I regularly got medical professionals who believed this shit was all in my head. And try not to worry. Like I said, for most people who have it, POTS is extremely mild. If you change your lifestyle, you might not see many symptoms at all, and if you do, well. Work with that trusted doctor. Hit me up. I know a lot of ways to get a lot of salt in your body. lol

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