#but i'm never opposed to a little friends to lovers | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

patrophthia · 1 year ago

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mini skirt | theodore nott

pairing: theodore nott x reader

wc: 3.5k

genre: smut (minors DNI), fluff, best friends to lovers, meddling blaise zabini just coz, they’re in love 🤢🤢, self indulgent im so sorry for the person i am

smut tags: dry humping, coming untouched, (very little) oral sex, come eating, unprotected sex (don’t do this!!), fingering, size kink, breeding kink, bulge kink, cream pie, so much dirty talk oml, big dick theo 😞, reader being shorter than theo, reader wearing a mini skirt, lots of cussing

summary: blaise zabini’s idea of how to play matchmaker might be different from the traditional way of doing it but at least you ended up getting dicked down, so you guess his method works too.

Blaise Zabini's idea of playing match maker is whispering to you —in a not so quiet way, that he'd heard 'Nott's got a big dick' and though you swatted him away. Face disgruntled, mumbling about how you did not want to know about your best friend's private parts. You're terrible enough of a person for your eyes to drop to his crotch when he sat down on the couch opposing yours.

There's a call of your name, once, twice. Before Theodore leaned forward, his voice loud enough for your eyes to tear itself from his thighs to his eyes. You gulped, hoping ��hoping that he thought you'd blanked out and just happened to be staring at a very unfortunate spot. "Hmm?"

Theodore's held onto your gaze, lazying back onto his coach. "You okay? I asked if you wanted to head back up but you didn't answer."

"Head back up?" You repeated. "Head where?"

He eyes you suspiciously. "To your dorm?" Theodore gets up from his seat and leans down to crouch beneath you, staring up at you. "Or mine?"

You blink. Mind running in all kind of ideas —save for the ones you knew he meant when he asked you this question. You shift slightly in your side, scanning the Slytherin's common room as the party rage on; it's nothing too big, a get together between all seventh year supplied with alcohol —that Draco definitely did not buy just to impress the golden boy, not at all.

"I'm pretty sure I saw Draco take Harry up to your dorm, and neither of them look like they're exhibitionists." You say off handedly, looking down at him. "Besides, I'm actually enjoying myself here."

And to prove yourself, you get up from your seat; pulling your mini skirt low enough to cover your ass. Theodore, despite having every chance to peer underneath it, remains respectful as he plays with the hem of your skirt. "You are?"

"You aren't?" You ask back, trying not to squirm from the way his finger brushes against your thigh. Salazar this was your best friend for shit's sake, knowing that he could hypothetically have a big dick should not turn you on as much as it was.

Theodore shakes his head, slowly, almost as if he was in a haze as he quietly tells you. "Not really."

"Let's head up then," you tell him, and though both of your voices are low —barely even audible considering how loud Mattheo decided to play his music. Theodore was able to understand you perfectly, picking himself up as he used your waist as his guide. "Come on."

His pinkie finger catches onto yours as he gets onto his feet, him towering over you the slightest bit. And though, Theodore and you leaving a party early to turn in for the night was a sight your friends were used to by now —knowing that nothing ever did came out of leaving the two of you alone to your own devices. Something about how Theodore was looking at you makes them think that that might just change tonight.

But, they regress and bid the two of you goodnight with a few sporting playful frowns on how you never stay with them until the party actually ends.

You only smile, leading Theodore up the stairs to your dorm like every other night. Once in the comfort of your room, you sit yourself down on your bed, patting the spot for besides you for Theodore to take. He did as told, melting into your touch as you brush his hair back. "How much did you drink?"

His eyes are shut, face leaning into the palm of your hand as his own grips onto your skirt, tugging you closer to him. "Just those two shots we took when we first went down."

You hum, letting him pull you to him. "Did you smoke?" Theodore shakes his head slightly, before opening his eyes back up at you. You laugh lightly. "Then what's up with you tonight? I'm always the one dragging us back."

"Just tired, I guess." He murmurs.

"You guess?" You ask him, standing up —letting his hands fall where it'd been trailing up your skirt back to his lap, lingering slightly on what sits above it. "When are you ever not tired?"

Theodore laughs at your words, eyes crinkling as he did so. "When I watch you play quidditch," he says, pushing himself up to press his back against the head of your bed. Watching as you shuffle towards your wardrobe, picking out a pair of sweats along with two shirts he'd left at your room. "Or when you're drunk out of your mind and I'd to have to play pretend as your boyfriend and take care of you."

You snort at his words, picking out a pair of shorts for yourself. "You don't have to pretend to be my boyfriend to take care of me."

"Mhmm," he hums from his spot, lounging lazily as you walk up to his side, the change of clothes in hand. "But it's more affective that way." His hand finds its way to your hips, pulling you closer to him. "And I like it. I like pretending to be yours."

There's a split second where his eyes falters, looking at you almost nervously as he waits for you to respond. "You do?"

"Mhmm," he hums, pushing himself up to sit straight. "More than anything."

It's nauseating to see him look at you —eyes lacking their usual stoic and disinterest to instead be replaced by lust and adoration.

Without thinking twice, you leaned down meeting his lips halfway as your eyes flutters shut. And though seated, Theodore was still tall enough to kiss you back with ease. Letting you melt into the feeling of his soft lips moving slowly and desperately against yours.

"Fuck," Theodore mutters breathlessly, he pushes against your hand; dropping your (mostly his) clothes to the floor. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

"What?" You giggle, letting him pull you onto his lap. "Kiss me?"

"To kiss you again," He murmurs, attaching his lips back onto yours; a soft whimper slipping out of his lips when his clothed cock brushes against your core through his swift movements.

Fuck, Blaise was not lying.

In between your legs, underneath beige slacks, Theo's giant cock ruts up to you. You gasp into his mouth. "Ah—" you try to catch your breath. "—fuck, Theo. You've been wanting to kiss me since we were thirteen?"

"Mhmm," he hums, long slender hands gripping onto your waist before he slides one underneath your shirt and lays it flat against your tummy. His free hand, resting on your thigh, guiding you down onto him. "You're the only girl I ever want to kiss."

It's silly, you know it is —especially when his cock was pressing into your cunt, only separated by a thin layer of clothing— and yet you can't help but smile up at him, almost giggling when you ask him. " 's that why you asked me to be your first kiss?"

"Mhmm." He's smiling when he kisses you. "Can you blame me?" His tongue licks at your top lips, quick and gentle, trying to gauge on what you tasted like. "Prettiest girl at Hogswart and she was willing to be my first kiss."

His hand moves grips onto your waist, his touch blazing hot. "... Flatterer," you say, a playful pout prominent on your lips.

He chuckles, pressing his lips back onto yours, hand moving from your thigh to tug at your shirt. When you nod, Theodore pulls away just enough for him to take your shirt off and toss it Salazar knows where.

He doesn't even try to hide his staring, canting his hips upwards as he held you down. "Can you feel that?" He asks breathlessly, almost whining as he humps against you. "Can you feel how hard you make me?"

You could only moan, nodding dumbly as you rolled your hips. "Fuck—" he says against your lips, "—how'd you get even prettier, baby?"

And despite how hot —how nauseating it is to feel his boner pressing onto your wet cunt, you can't help but giggle at his words, at how turned on he got just at the sight of your tits. "It's just boobs."

"It's your boobs." He hand goes up behind you, making quick work at the clasps before kissing your chest, licking at your nipples; his hips not halting in its movement. "So so pretty."

His hand slips down, going underneath your skirt to knees at you thigh. "Shirt—" you roll onto him, breathless each time you feel just how hard he was. "—shirt, Theo."

Though incoherent, Theodore still understood you enough to pull his shirt off of himself before attaching his lips back onto you. His tongue glides against yours, swallowing your moans up when he bucks particularly hard.

It’s humiliating how the simple act of humping, combined with Theo’s hand playing with your tits, pinching and rolling your nipple between his long fingers with his tongue exploring your mouth has you writhing on top of him.

"Theo, ah—" you whine, hands gripping onto his shoulders to steady yourself, a familiar warmth building in your stomach. "— wait, fuck!"

Theodore's hips coming to a halt, as he watch you cum on top of him —in awe, without him even having touched you. "Did you just… ?"

You whine, pressing your face against his bare shoulder to hide just how embarrass you were. Theodore pulls you back, looking at you with what you could only assume was love. "Did you just come, baby?"

You nod bashfully, hands going to cover your face just for him to pin both of them down. "So cute, so so pretty." He kisses you roughly, rutting up to you. "Gonna fuck you nice and full, how’s that sound?"

Theodore only frowns when you nod, always having been the talkative one in your relationship. “Words, baby. That sound good to you?”

“Ah!” Your panties stick to your cunt uncomfortably, feeling all too messy when he grinds his cock onto you. “Good,” you whine, “ ‘s good.”

Theodore smiles, pressing a quick kiss onto your lips as a reward. His hand trails down to your thighs, flipping your skirt up before groaning at the sight of his beige slacks soiled by your slick and cum. "Look at the mess you made, didn’t even have to touch you.”

Sliding your panties to the side, Theodore runs two fingers down your slit. "Even your cunt's pretty," he murmurs, bringing his finger up to his mouth to licks at your juices. "You taste even better."

You're pouting as you watch him play with your pussy, fingers pressed onto your clit, going back in for another taste before you finally move down his crotch, just enough for you to palm at his cock.

"Fuck—" he whimpers, hips bucking onto your hand.

Feeling proud you pulled such a reaction out of him, you reach for his belt, lifting yourself up off of him as he helps rid himself of his slacks. Pulling back his boxers, you will yourself not to drool over the sight of his long and thick cock, milky from the precum leaking from its tip.

Your hand moves on its own, wrapping around the base of his hard cock only to find that your hand was too small to wrap all the way around him. "Why didn't you tell me your dick was huge?."

"You want me to —fuck—" Theodore whines, cock twitching in your hand as it begged for you to move. "You want me to tell my best friend about the size of my cock?"

"Yeah?" You move your hands up, thumb running along his tip. "Biggest dick I've ever seen."

"You never told me you had —fuck, baby— never told me you had a perfect cunt either." Theodore moans, the sight in front of him feels like it came straight out of a porno. His best friend and her small hands playing with his cock, tits out with only her tiny skirt stopping him from fucking her into the mattress.

You giggle softly before leaning down to take him inside your mouth. "Fuck!" Theodore choked out, hips roughly thrusting into your mouth. He's too big for you to fit in entirely in your throat and he knows it. And he's too close to cumming in your mouth to keep you were you are.

His hand pulling your head up and away from his cock swiftly. His eyes are shut, head leaning back against your headboard as he breathes heavily.

Your eyes are teary when he opens his eyes back up, and he wills himself not to think about how it's the result of him fucking your face. Theodore brings you up to sit between his legs, kissing you desperately, groaning when he tastes himself on your lips.

Your hand goes back to grab at his length and he whines, pressing his face into your neck and squirms underneath your touch. "Wait, fuck—" his hand goes to stop you, brain going dead as you pumped his cock. "—fuck, fuck wait."

Theodore moves away from your touch, pressing your hand down onto your mattress as he heaves heavily. "Shit— Next time," he whines, "we can do all that next time," he murmurs against your neck, pulling his head away to look at you, he adds: "but I need to fuck you. Please, just let me fuck you. I'll do anything to feel your cunt and fill you up nice and full, please baby."

And when he pleads for you so nicely, who were you to deny him anything? He kisses you again, laying you down on your back, whispering soft thank you’s as he presses open mouth kisses down your body. Slender hands roaming around as he tries to map you out. It's only when Theodore flips your skirt up, ripping away your panties to give himself a full view of your throbbing pussy did you realize what he's about to do.

"Hey, I liked those!"

"I'll buy you more, baby." You're dripping in front of him and he think he might be losing his mind. "Need to eat you out first."

"Thought you wanted to fuck me," you whine, gasping softly when he slides his fingers over your pussy, "why can you play with —fuck."

You pout at him, not expecting him to slide his finger inside you while you talked. "Why can you— ah! —play with me when I can't play with you."

"Not playing baby, just stretching you out," he tells you with a soft smile, leaning over to kiss your pout away. "Not gonna fit unless we stretch you out."

" 's fine," you whimper, feeling him slip another finger in, fucking into you slowly. "it'll fit just fine."

"You sure?" He picks up his pace, long fingers reaching places your own never could. "Don't wanna hurt you."

" 's fine," you moan when he slips a third finger into your cunt, "don't care if it hurts, just wanna feel you."

Theodore pulls out, bringing his fingers to his lips to taste you once more. Moving back up, Theodore grabs at a pillow, placing it beneath your lower back to elevate your cunt. Slowly, he guides his dick into you, gasping at the feeling of his thick head stretching you open.

"Fuck—" Theodore pushes in deeper, pausing when he feels you clenching impossibly tight around him "—your cunt's sucking me in so good."

The burn is delicious, his cock tearing you open from within, stretching you out to take him into you. "So full," you whine, pressing your head into your sheets as he slides in even deeper into you. " 's too much."

"I know, baby," he murmurs, rubbing slow circles onto your thighs, "just a little more, I know you can take it."

You whine pathetically, feeling him fuck the last few inches snuggly into you. "Ah!" He hasn't even moved and you're already breathless, feeling him in your stomach. “Fuck me, Theo. Fuck me nice and full.”

“You want me to fuck your small cunt nice and full?” Theodore pulls out entirely, leaving just his tip in your cunt before roughly thrusting back in, hands on your hips as he pounds into you. "I’ll fuck it nice and full for you, maybe even put a baby in you."

And when your pussy grips his cock at his words, Theodore drives into you even harder. “Put a baby in me, please.”

“Yeah? You want that?” He watches as your tits bounce with each harsh thrust. “You want to carry my baby? Have your pretty tits grow bigger? You want that?”

“Yes,” you cry out, eyes screwed shut, the pain of his cock splitting you open mixing with pleasure. “Yes, ah— want it.”

“Fuck—” Having just about enough, Theodore pushes your mini skirt up your stomach giving him a full view of how well he's fucking his thick cock into you. The mound of your pussy bulging as it makes room for his dick to spear into your cunt.

"See that baby? See how good your cunt’s at taking my cock?" He asks, his hand grabbing yours to press down below your navel. "See how good I'm fucking you?"

You can only moan, crying out his name when he presses your hand down onto the bulge in your stomach, pushing his own dick out of your pussy. "Feel how deep my cock is inside of you?"

“Gonna be so easy for me to breed you,” he murmurs, wrapping your legs around his waist to fuck himself even deeper into you. “Want me to breed you, baby? Hmm?”

You nod desperately, too cock drunk to speak. Jolting when Theodore presses a harsh finger to your clit, circling it as he fucked deeper into you. "Theo, I'm gonna—"

"I know baby," he says, his cock getting impossibly harder inside of you. He presses another finger onto your clit, rubbing tight circles as you squirm underneath him. "Fuck— you're pussy's so good. Need you to come on my cock."

Theodore leans down to kiss you, pushing his length even deeper into you. You moan into his mouth, fucking you through your orgasm, your legs trembling as you try to squeeze him in.

Theodore fucks your cum back into you harder and faster, chasing his own high. One quick glance at his cock coated with your cum, followed by the bulge in your tummy was sends has him rutting into your tight cunt, spilling his warm seed inside you.

Theodore thrusts a few more time just to savor the sight of you spread on his cock before finally pulling out of you. "Fuck Theo," you whined, his cum leaking out of you, making a mess all over your bedsheet. "Were you just never going to tell me your dick is huge?"

Theodore only smiles bashfully, pressing a kiss onto your forehead. "We're still on this?"

"You expect me to not be on this?" You say with a slight pout, Theodore only half paying attention to you as he grabbed a random shirt from the floor to wipe at you thighs. "It's almost like you don't even think of me as you best friend."

"Pretty sure best friends don't go around telling each other about how big their dick is, baby," he replies.

"Blaise can know about your dick size but I can't?" You murmur. "Talk about double standards."

Theodore pauses his movements, hand hovering over your spent pussy. "That fucker."

"Hmm?" You're curious now, confused as to why he was suddenly cursing out your friend. Never having been one to use curse words unless —well, unless he's fucking you.

"He told me that you liked guys who begged," he says with a slight front, going back to cleaning you up nonetheless.

"Is that why you begged to fuck me?"

"No, that was all me," he answers truthfully, ears tinging red in embarrassment,"just wanted to fuck you."

"And they say romance is dead," you say playfully before your eye zeroes into what's in Theodore's hand. "What about the whole breeding thing? And ‘s that my shirt?"

Theodore, freezes with his hands between your thighs, feeling you stare him down as he did so. Slowly, he unravels the shirt he'd use to wipe you clean only to realize that yes, that is your shirt.

"You ripped up my panties, messed up my skirt, tried to put a baby in me, and used my shirt to wipe up your cum," you say, frowning, "I'm never having sex with you again."

Theodore's quick to apologize, peppering your face with kisses, mumbling sorry over and over again. "I'll sneak you out of Oxford street, take my black card with you, how's that sound?"

— from bee: this is my first time writing smut be nice to me 😡

#theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x you #theodore nott scenarios #theodore nott fluff #theodore nott x y/n #theodore nott smut #theodore nott imagines #theodore nott fanfiction #theodore nott fanfic #theo nott smut #🧳: my writing #Spotify

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buckymorelikefuckme · 3 months ago

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fri(end)s

bucky barnes x fem reader

words: 3.8k

warnings & tags: **18+ ONLY** friends/roommates to lovers oh my god they were roommates, smoking weed, brief mutual masturbation, frottage (i think that's the right word idfk i'm all out of practice), p in v sex, unprotected sex (don’t do that), reader has nipple piercings bc i said so, slight pain kink? mayhaps? ok pls let me know if i’ve missed anything!

a/n: i made this fic my bitch tonight. this is absolutely not proofread or beta'd, you're just gonna have to take it for what it is, sorry not sorry. anyway, it’s been too long since i wrote for this beefy man :’) i really hope you like it. this was originally very loosely inspired by a scene in what’s your number? but it quickly gained a mind of its own to become what it is now, so. there ya go. title is from the song of the same name by V of bts thank you very much. any and all mistakes are my own. feedback is greatly appreciated and heavily encouraged!!! xoxo

bucky barnes masterlist || main masterlist

Bucky’s introduction to weed was something you’d been supremely proud of.

When the two of you became roommates, you both had been kind of quiet and kept to yourselves at first, which isn’t too unusual, but you noticed that Bucky almost always had a frown etched into his handsome face. A frown that only ever softened after a night out with his friends and, you assumed, a decent hook-up. It never took long for that frown to reappear, though.

You didn’t know what could have been so stressful for him, but you knew he needed a way to relax, and not just for himself, either. The sight of him glumly moving around the apartment—honestly, you’ve never seen someone make fixing a bowl of cereal look so fucking sad—was beginning to weigh on your own nerves.

So, naturally, you thought of asking him if he’s ever tried weed. Somehow, his frown had deepened at that question. He said no, shocking absolutely no one, and then you asked if he wanted to try it. Admittedly, he was a little hesitant at first, but he eventually agreed.

The way his body, all two hundred and whatever pounds of muscle and angst, sank into the recliner like a ragdoll when the high really hit him made you grin. Though, to be fair, you were already smiling, what with you also being high. It was the first time you saw a real, genuine smile from Bucky, and you were immensely pleased to have given him a way to decompress from whatever kept him so tense all the time.

It became a sort of thing for you two. Saturday nights were for getting high, binge-watching Love Island (UK, because you both have class, thank you very much) and raiding the pantry for all the good snacks when the munchies hit. You’d never tell anyone, but those nights quickly became something you looked forward to every week, something you could cling to when your own life got a little difficult. Who knew smoking weed—and on a few special occasions, doing edibles—with your roommate would make a friendship blossom so prettily?

***

After how late Bucky got in last night, you knew he’d be sleeping in and would more than likely have a hangover. So, for this particular Saturday morning, you get up and quietly start gathering your laundry while Bucky snores loudly into his pillow from his bedroom. You were getting behind on it anyway, down to your last pair of clean shorts.

Before you put them on, though, you purse your lips in thought, staring at your pile of dirty clothes. You didn’t want to put on clean shorts with the panties and shirt you slept in last night. It would be smarter to wash them with the rest of your clothes, right? But that would leave you topless, which, you wouldn’t exactly be opposed to it, but you’re not sure Bucky would appreciate waking up to you walking around with your tits out. Or maybe he would? Whatever, it doesn’t matter.

You shake your head to clear your thoughts and then remember that Bucky did his laundry yesterday, and knowing him, he probably left at least some of his clean clothes in the dryer. Surely he wouldn’t mind you borrowing a shirt.

With that plan in mind, you dump your clothes into your laundry basket and make your way down the hall to the doors where your washing and drying units are (a major selling point of the apartment, if you’re honest). Just like you thought, Bucky’s left a load in the dryer, and even some of his button-downs are hung up on the drying rack. You quickly pull your t-shirt off, shivering against the cool air, and reach for one of the hangers, slipping his shirt off of it and onto yourself. For a dress shirt, it’s actually quite comfortable, obviously one of the shirts he wears more often with how soft and a little worn the fabric is. You shimmy your panties down your legs and add them to your pile, grabbing your clean shorts and tugging them on, too.

You make quick work of starting your first load of clothes, closing the doors to muffle the sound of the washer, and head back to your room to do your morning routine. By the time you’re done and have also cooked yourself breakfast, Bucky is staggering down the hall and into the kitchen, hair a tangled nest atop his head and eyes bleary.

“Good morning, sunshine,” you greet with a teasing smile.

He flips you off and beelines for the coffee machine, pouring himself a cup and not speaking a word until he’s downed at least half of it. Part of you is concerned for his esophagus, but you’ve long since come to the conclusion that Bucky’s probably got a thing for pain—both physically and emotionally.

“Remind me to tell Sam he isn’t allowed to bring Natasha on our nights out anymore,” he grumbles, voice rough from both sleep and a long night of drinking. “I’ve never taken so many shots of vodka in my life.”

You hum. “Sounds like my kind of woman, actually.” He cuts his eyes at you, silently judging while taking another sip of his coffee. “Want me to fry up some bacon and eggs for you?” You almost laugh at the way his expression immediately switches to pleading.

The rest of the morning is spent finishing your laundry and putting it all away, even gathering up Bucky’s clothes that he’d left and dumping them on his bed. You’ll leave the folding to him, though; your generosity only extends so far, after all.

Lunch rolls around and you both decide to order takeout from the burger place down the street, Bucky shushing you when you keep insistently whispering for him to order extra truffle fries (which he does order, after you’ve sworn pain of death if he doesn’t) and once it arrives, the two of you settle around the coffee table in the living room, putting on a random movie to watch while you eat.

And of course, when the sun begins to lower on the horizon, you start pulling out your stash and getting everything ready. Bucky’s already got the windows open in the living room to let the smell air out as you smoke, and he also has Love Island queued up and ready to go.

While you smoke the first joint, you make the conscious decision to bake a small batch of brownies for later. Bucky sits on the counter beside you, passing the joint back and forth as he quietly watches you work. Wordlessly, you hand over the bowl and spoon to him after you’ve poured the batter into the awaiting pan. No matter how many times you’ve tried to warn him about salmonella he always insists on licking them clean.

Sometimes, in these moments, you forget how surly he used to be with you. Not that he was ever rude or anything, but he never would have pouted about not being able to eat raw brownie batter before you helped him break down some of those walls of his.

***

“He’s such a dick,” Bucky mumbles a while later, face impassive and tone bland as he refers to one of the islanders of the show, slouching so deeply into the couch he’s practically become one with it.

The high from the first joint is finally kicking in fully, doing its job of releasing every ounce of tension from your bodies. It’s also making your mouth dry and tummy rumble for snacks. Thank god you made those brownies and Bucky unearthed some candy from past movie nights and lots of chips out of the pantry cabinets.

You hum at his comment. “Most men are.”

Bucky turns his head in your direction with an affronted expression that has you snickering. He goes to reply, giving you the sassiest once-over you’ve ever seen, but his eyes doubletake on your torso and he pauses. He stares for a moment.

“That’s my shirt,” he states.

You look down at the shirt in question, of which you’ve worn all day long and somehow he’s only just now noticing.

“Wow, you’re like Sherlock Holmes or something,” you drawl.

Bucky stares some more, and then, “Why are you wearing my shirt?”

“Because I had laundry to do and I needed something to wear while all my stuff was washing,” you say in a “duh” tone.

“But…” He frowns. “It’s my favorite.”

You snort inelegantly. “Bucky, you literally have, like, at least four other white dress shirts.”

“So? What, I can’t have a favorite one just because I have more of the same color?”

“Christ,” you say on an exasperated exhale. “I’ll give it back before bed, okay? I don’t wanna move right now. I’m scared I’ll bump into stuff again.”

Bucky huffs a laugh at that, which turns into a full-blown giggle fit that is contagious. Soon after your shared laughter dies down, the conversation moves back to the illicit love triangles among the islanders. You trash talk the couple that Bucky likes, just to see him get riled up and rant about how they’re the most real couple of the season and everyone else is just jealous. He gets red in the face and pouty when you remind him that this is a heavily produced show about pretty people getting a chance to get famous for being pretty people by hooking up with each other and playing stupid games that mean nothing in the grand scheme of it all. Really, it’s quite cute.

To placate him, though, you get a second joint rolled and let him take the first hit.

***

Turns out this second one hits you rather harder than normal. It feels like your head is a balloon and your neck is the string tethering it to the rest of your body. Everything feels much more sluggish compared to all the other times you’ve gotten high with Bucky. Somewhere in the depths of your hazy brain you remember that you’d gotten a different brand this time around; perhaps that’s why.

On the tv, the islanders are getting ready for bed, and once the lights go out in their room, some of the couples engage in some serious heavy petting, lifting their comforters for a semblance of privacy. The sounds start next, sighs and low moans, and it all begins to settle into your subconscious. Between one lazy blink and the next, you realize you’re… actually kind of horny. It’s not enough for you to really pay attention to it, not at first, just a little sprinkle of it, a tiny twist in your core that briefly has you pressing your thighs together then relaxing again.

But then the arousal builds up inside you so slowly and easily that you don’t even realize your hand has apparently grown a mind of its own and found its way down your shorts. You inhale sharply at the touch of your fingers against your clit, lashes fluttering as the sensation registers. The sound gains Bucky’s attention from where he's been lounging on the opposite end of the couch with his head tipped back and eyes closed.

They’re not closed anymore. Out of your peripheral, you see his head shift in your direction, feeling the weight of his stare like a physical thing. Your mind is both connected and disconnected from your actions, half-aware that this is probably not the smartest thing to be doing, that you’re absolutely crossing a major boundary. Touching yourself in this way in front of your roommate, your friend, is so not normal.

Yet, for some idiotic reason, you leave your hand down your shorts, continuing to lightly pet at your clit, neediness rising steadily. Even though you know he’s watching—and suspiciously quiet—you can’t help but let your fingers slither down to where you’re beginning to drip to gather some of your slick and bring it back to your clit and swirling your fingers at a sedate pace, sighing as your nipples tighten underneath your shirt.

Bucky is as still as a statue, gaze honed in on the movement of your hand, on how your thighs ease open more and more the longer you play with your pussy.

It takes very little time for your eyes to wander over to the man just a couple feet away, and to then notice and fixate on the growing bulge in Bucky’s sweatpants. The weight of his stare is almost a physical thing and you swallow roughly as you think about what he might look like, if he’s at all how you’ve secretly imagined when you’re alone in your bedroom, in much the same position as you are in now.

His hands creep towards his thighs and smooth down the expanse of them and back up, slowly, over and over, like he’s teasing himself. Like he’s teasing you. Your fingers don’t stop as you lift your other hand to tweak and pinch at your nipples through well-worn cotton, a tiny noise slipping past your dry lips.

Bucky pulls the hem of his shirt up, exposing part of his toned stomach and only hesitates for a split second before he lowers the waistband of his pants, pulling his cock out and matching the pace of his strokes with the pace of your fingers. The head of his cock is pink and precum makes it shine under the low light of the lamps in the living room.

You bite your lip as your arousal increases from the sight alone, and you decide to follow his lead, just a bit. You whine from the loss of stimulation when you remove your hand to shimmy your shorts down and off your legs, letting them fall to the floor carelessly. And now, Bucky has an unrestrained view of your glistening cunt as you sink two of your fingers inside yourself and use your other fingers to rub all around your clit. It has you gasping, eyelids threatening to close through the pleasure that sparkles throughout every vein in your body.

It’s good. Amazing, even. And it’s only making you want more. Bucky, it seems, feels much the same.

“C’mere,” he rasps, tone leaving no room for arguing, never mind that you wouldn’t have argued anyway.

You sit up on the couch, knee-walking over to where he’s still in his slumped position, never pulling your hand away from your clit because it feels like you’d cry if you did. Bucky curses under his breath and lets go of his cock to firmly grab you by the hips and tug you onto his lap. Your pussy ends up aligned perfectly with his cock, and you both shudder as you begin gliding back and forth across it, small movements that only increase the suspense of what likely comes next. He meets your eyes, red and glazed over from both the high and the toe-curling feeling of his cock along your wet center.

The kiss, when it happens, tastes like weed and the peanut M&M’s you both were snacking on just a little while ago. Bucky's tongue licks into your mouth like he can’t get enough, nips at your bottom lip to hear you whimper, gets a fistful of your hair and pulls and guides you until you’re pliant for him.

He knocks your hand away from your clit, but before you can complain about it he’s nudging the head of his cock against your entrance and you’re gasping all over again, grinding sloppily as you try to get him inside you. He finally sinks the head in and you allow gravity to aid you in taking the rest of him, moaning brokenly and high pitched at the stretch of him inside you. Bucky groans deep in his chest, hands clutching your waist like a lifeline as you slowly circle your hips, getting used to the feeling.

You stay like that for a few minutes, your breath and Bucky’s mixing hotly between you, and then you finally start fucking yourself on his cock. He grunts when you clench around him on the downstroke. You decide you like the sound, and you really wanna hear it again, so you repeat the action, moaning when the grunt is accompanied by a curse and his fingernails biting into your skin.

It takes what feels like ages for you to realize your thighs and knees ache from riding him, the weed making everything feel like it’s floating, including yourself, but Bucky sees the furrow in your brows and the shaking strain of your legs, and in the next second, he’s got you both moved from the couch to the floor. Time ticks on glacially slow like molasses as you stare up at him whipping his shirt off from where you’re sprawled on the carpet, your limbs shifting lethargically when he spreads your legs to better fit himself between them.

He fucks you hard, but not fast. you’re both much too high for anything fast, yet it still feels like your heart is going to pulse out of your chest, rabbiting away like you’ve run a marathon. Bucky buries his face in your neck, mouthing at your skin while he thrusts almost lazily.

Suddenly, his large hands encapsulate your hips, fingers pressing into the fleshiest parts of them as he sits up, getting his knees under him so he can rest on his haunches. He keeps your ass in his lap and your legs spread on either side of his waist. It makes your back arch and hips tilt up into a position that has you shuddering and sobbing when he begins to grind his thick cock deeper into you.

“I could stay buried in you for hours,” he mutters.

He reaches for the throw pillows on the couch and puts them under your hips, and then he fucks into you so hard it steals the breath right from your lungs, your mouth hanging open on a silent cry. His thrusts are sharper now, angled to perfection and making your toes curl so hard you fear them cramping and body jolt when he glides all the way back in. You gasp when Bucky rips open your shirt (his shirt, your mind helpfully supplies) and sends the buttons scattering across the floor. Those will be a bitch to find and clean up, but that’s a problem for much later.

“Fuck,” he grunts when he sees the piercings glinting in your nipples. “I fucking knew it,” he continues, squeezing each of your breasts in his hands and pinching your nipples between his thumbs and forefingers, making you gasp again, pushing up into the sensation.

“Knew—“ You cut off with a whine when he pinches harder. “Knew what?”

“You walk around here wearing those goddamn cropped tank tops as tight as possible with no bra. Thought I was going crazy when I saw what looked like piercings underneath them,” he confesses as his hands travel back down to grip your waist, never losing his rhythm while he pulls you down to meet his thrusts.

At the sight of your tits bouncing with the movement of his hips, he groans, gravelly, his top lip curling as he grits his teeth and squeezes your hips so hard it hurts, and it only adds to your pleasure. With the way your skin is tingling, your pussy fluttering around him nonstop, you’re not sure if it’s because Bucky is fucking you that well or if it’s the weed. It’s probably both, and you have a split second thought that you’ll just have to test that theory once the high wears off.

It’s almost ironic, you think, how wet and messy your cunt is compared to how dry your mouth feels. It probably doesn’t help that your jaw seems to be permanently slack as you’re unable to stop your gasping inhales, only to exhale sounds you might be embarrassed about if you were clear-headed. Alas, your mind is a lot more focused on the way Bucky is splitting you open and carving a space inside you all for himself.

“So much better,” you whisper absently, fingers clawing at the carpet beneath you.

“Better than what?” he wonders, shifting to grip under your knees and push them up, changing the angle.

You cry out sharply, writhing uselessly in his hold. “My imagination,” you whimper.

Through bleary, tear filled eyes, you glance up at him just in time to see his lips pull into a boyish smirk.

“Mine too,” he confesses and sends you reeling.

You whine and reach down quickly to rub your throbbing clit, your whole body jerking as your pleasure mounts higher and higher. Bucky moans as he watches, stare trained on where you’re joined. His speed does pick up then, the slightest bit, a shudder wracking his frame as you clench down on him, head tipping back and exposing the long expanse of his throat for a brief moment before he suddenly leans over you, letting your legs fall into the cradle of his elbows.

“Won’t you be good for me and cum?” he asks, breathless, hips never letting up.

You open your mouth to reply but all that comes out is a strangled cry of his name, your fingers keeping their pace as your climax swells until it overflows, bursting like a firework and pleasure like you’ve never felt before sparks through every vein, muscle, and bone within you. Bucky curses in such a way it would make a sailor blush as you pulse around him. The sounds of your orgasm and his thrusts meeting your hips are the filthiest things you’ve ever heard, and it doesn’t stop for several moments, dragging on and on. It leaves you trembling and shaking and trying futilely to gather air in your lungs as he refuses to let up.

With great resolve, you bring your wet fingers away from your sensitive clit and up to his panting mouth. He groans at your taste, licking and sucking on your fingers as he chases his own release.

“Please,” you whisper, tears finally escaping your lashes and trailing down the sides of your face, and that seems to be his undoing.

Bucky moans, something high and broken, fucking into you rough enough that you’re worried about carpet burn. But then he pauses, gasping as he finally lets go and rides out his high.

Your hand slips from his mouth and falls to the floor like a deadweight. The only noise in the room now is the both your and Bucky’s harsh breathing and the television still playing that stupid fucking show. Bucky doesn’t move right away, of which you’re very thankful, because you’re not ready to feel the emptiness you know is coming, and it feels nice in a weird way to have him buried in you.

“Fuck,” he exhales, breaking the relative silence.

It makes you giggle, a small thing that turns into something uncontrollable, and when you manage to look at Bucky, he’s grinning in a dopey way that sets you off even more.

This is definitely something the two of you will have to talk about when you’re both sober, but like the buttons, that can be handled later. Although, something tells you it’ll all turn out just fine.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes #pls take this away from me before i scream

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okkotsuus · 5 months ago

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"YOU'RE AS BEAUTIFUL AS THE DAY I LOST YOU" (katsuki b.) !

features: katsuki bakugo

contents: fantasy au. angst. hurt/comfort/more hurt. mutual pining. barabrian!katsuki. fem!reader. childhood friends to lovers to strangers to lovers again. kidnapping. grief. crying. implied panic attack. major character death. no beta we die like men. 3.9k

notes: i've been yearning desperately to make bakugo say stoick's famous line from httyd2 (my second favorite movie)... if there's interest i'm considering continuing this into the canon verse with it being these two 'reincarnated'.

tagging: @saexy (for enabling and encouraging me in killing off characters) & @meristryker (for enabling me in the gc like a real one)

never in all his life did the great katsuki bakugo think that he would ever love someone enough that he could die. watching the loving smiles of his parents, the gentle caress of his father's hand to soothe his mother's unbridled anger: it made his stomach churn.

yet, at the tender age of seven, while on a trip to a nearby village to discuss the war shifting on the horizon, he finds himself absolutely smitten by their chieftain's daughter. wide e/c eyes peeking out from behind her mother's leg, hands clutching onto the hem of the long skirt.

katsuki finds himself enamoured in that instance, seeing sweet you, looking at the boy with such curious eyes. he stomps over to you: temper even fiery in his youth. his hand grabs onto yours as he hauls you out from behind the safety of your mother.

under the dim candlelight of the meeting room, flickering flames cast dancing rays across your skin. his chubby little face is scrunched into a scowl, tugging you out of the room and into the courtyard with a tenderness that betrayed his expression.

"i'm katsuki and you better not forget it!" his pitchy voice calls, still dragging you behind him. he looks over his shoulder, soft red eyes narrowed in what was an attempt to be intimidating.

but when he sees the relaxing of your eyelids, falling slightly in contentment, with a warm smile that rivals any feeling of victory: the mask of indifference slips in a blink of an eye. red dusts over the slops of his face, baby-fat painted the same carnelian as his eyes. his small hand grips tighter onto yours, as if he never would let you go.

your chubby little face stretches as your smile widens into a toothy grin, eyes crinkling at the corners. "got it, katsuki, i'm y/n!" he swears your voice is just like the lullaby his mother would hum while rocking him to sleep, bringing a rush of warmth through his chest.

that day, katsuki bakugou falls terribly in love with y/n l/n.

the two of you are deemed inseparable, hands always connecting like opposing poles of a magnet. pinkies intertwined stronger than any woven cloth. it's as pure and innocent as it can be.

if one were to see y/n, then it was irrevocably certain that katsuki was a few steps away. it sends rumors spiralling through the lands that there will be a union between the bakugo barbaricum and l/n dynasty. you're only eight when there's an attempt made for your hand.

the thought of two families as powerful as you and katsuki's joining was a fearful thing to many. it spelled doom for many weaker civilizations, those who had dug their own graves with their actions.

your family, blessed be you to have been born to loving parents in a world such as this, easily rejects the many proposals. the l/n dynasty is in a state of power where they are not forced to fend for their village: allowing you this freedom.

running through the streets of his stronghold, chasing each other for the sake of some game that was the farthest thing from either of your minds. katsuki feels whole when you are at his side. the world doesn't seem so ugly, he doesn't feel so angry, everything sings the hymns of the heavens.

he can't pull his ruby eyes off of your form by the age of fifteen. the katsuki you had known, baby-faced with a slight stutter, has began to fill out into a man. his shoulders broaden and begin to carry thick cords of muscle. the chubbiness of his cheeks begins to give rise to sharper angles. his whiny voice is pushed aside by a more gravelly tone. he shoots up like a sprout, hunching over slightly in faces that used to fit him so easily.

but he isn't the only one who is growing into his frame. your shoulders soften at the corners, collarbones visible with every slight movement. your baby fat begins to settle and collect on your hips, rounding them. those toothy grins of yours become framed by pretty lips, always looking soft as a pillow. clothes that used to drape over your like a sheet now feel tighter in certain places, stretching over curves that popped up overnight.

the two of you don't know what to do with yourselves, stolen looks when the other isn't looking. you still hook pinkies, but the touch sends flares of heat running up the back of your neck. it's like you were just meeting each other for the first time all over again.

katsuki feels like a damn sap with the way his heart thunders under his skin: threatening to burst out. he's too taken to notice the heat that was rising to your face whenever he was around, the way your hands nervously would grip onto the swaying fabric of your skirt. too blind to see that you were just as infatuated with him as he was with you.

hurried words, lingering touches, sneaking glances, the two of you had every hint of love right in front of your faces. yet, there's a hesitance that lingers in the back of young minds: afraid that falling in love would end up with no one catching them.

unsurprisingly, katsuki is the one who jumps first. it's a quiet night, the moon is high in the sky. his breath puffs out in front of him like smoke, winter beginning to show herself once more.

you looked too beautiful under the soft azure glow that the celestial sky casts upon you, he simply couldn't bear another moment without you known how much his very soul ached for you.

on the eve of his sixteenth birthday he whispers the words like a prayer, voice softened and gentle for once in his life. "y/n... you plague my every waking thought, i cannot let my heart beat any longer without it being yours."

e/c eyes widen as your head snaps to him, lips parting in shock. katsuki beats you to it, rough palms (once baby-soft) cupping your cheek with a tenderness he was unaware he possessed.

the stars illuminate the sunkissed slopes of his cheekbones, showing the fine lashes that fan out over his eyes. katsuki was ethereal, in every sense of the word, it catches your breath in a hitch. your mind stumbles through everything you could say right now, desperately trying to find the perfect response.

but when the pads of his thumbs drag over the apples of your cheeks, leaving a buzz in the wake of his touch, all rational thought leaves as you allow words to flow like a stream. "i have loved you longer than i have known you, katsuki." your voice is hushed, only filling the small space between the two of you: like a secret that only he and you would ever know.

it sends a trill up your spine when his eyes visibly soften, his face had been growing more and more sharp by the day but only when he was with you did the curve of his cheeks soften. he turns back into a boy around you, as you turn back into a girl when held so gently between his hands.

katsuki surges forwards, nose clumsily knocking against yours, teeth colliding with your own. he's inexperienced, never having kissed a girl, much less even though of kissing anyone but you. you both are a mess, giggling softly through messy pecks smearing over each other's faces. it feels like you're both those giddy kids once more, chasing the other through the cobbled streets of your village. he makes your heart sing.

it was even harder to be apart from him now, hands fully clasped together as you walk through the streets of either of your hometowns. yet, no one is surprised. neither of your parents nor his even bat an eye when you announce the courtship at a family dinner.

love is as natural as breathing for you and katsuki. inherently you have always known exactly what the other needs. he knows just how much you like the wildflowers that grow en-route between your homes. you know just how much he likes when you rise on your tiptoes and press a kiss against the corner of his lips.

it's young and dumb, a rush of big emotions and smiles that stretch your cheeks so far they ache. once you both are eighteen, katsuki turns the courtship into a betrothal. an elegant gold ring, with a garnet slotted right in the center, it sits pretty on your ring finger. his band is thicker, small e/c gemstones scattered along the surface. when in battle he loops it through a chain around his neck: pressing a kiss to the ring before charging forwards.

the world has known y/n l/n and katsuki bakugo have been in love for nearly twelve years, official for three, and betrothed for one. the bakugo barbaricum and the l/n dynasty have began making their plans to unify upon the wedding. it sparks a wave of unease in the badlands.

all it takes is an emissary sent from the dark forest for your world to crumble into shambles. a demon who seems to be the land's scourge reincarnated, hand that turn all to ash, pillages your beloved village. he comes in tow with a mimic and a fire mage. destruction rains as you are brought to the center as their singular demand is you.

your eyes lock with the demon's red eyes, a color that had made you feel so safe until now. the hair on the nape of your neck stands pin-straight as his hand extended towards you: palm up.

a flurry of emotions rush through you like a burst dam, memories of katsuki at the forefront. you want to be selfish, to damn him and his band of criminals to hell, to fight back despite the gravity of the situation. but he is bringing terror upon the people you swore to protect with your life.

so, you step forwards, soft hand sliding into his own. never had a rough palm felt like daggers against your skin, never had you so violently despised the way carmine shines in the light of blue flames.

to save your people, your family, the home you have known your entire life: you go. swept away in black mist. the last thing you see of that place is the bakugo horde rushing towards the gates, your eyes lock with katsuki's before the void claims you.

katsuki lets out a guttural scream as her charges head first into the miasma, falling onto the ground as the last wisp flows just through his fingers. his fist slams against the ground, hands gasping at the dirt you had just been on. he allows himself to cry in front of someone other than you, a wail echoing through the ruins of your village.

that day, you disappear off the face of the realm. no matter how many search parties are sent into the dark forests in the badlands, they all return empty-handed (if they return at all). katsuki keep his ring around his neck, so it beats against his bare chest with every movement: like a reminder of how it felt when his heart actually beat .

scars wind around his arms, around his biceps, over his forearms, across his shoulders. his face is hardened, permanent frown on the lips you used to kiss so tenderly. he's angrier than ever, fuse short as his attention span.

he is a shell of the man he had been, going through the motions of survival but never truly being alive.

this persists for a grueling two years. for seven-hundred and thirty days. for seventeen-thousand five-hundred twenty hours. he is separated from the only person that has ever felt like home, the woman he has loved longer than he knew how to read.

he masks it behind his ego, boisterous laugh to hide the ringing in is ears that hadn't been able to stop. he's more violent the field, less forgiving when in training with kirishima. the explosions that thunder from his palms produce a blackened smoke that lingers and settles in his lungs like a fog.

yearning hits him late at night when he lays alone in bed, a bed that you had once shared with him. silent tears pour, running down the sides of katsuki's face as he stares blankly up at the ceiling. his breath feels short as his chest heaves to get air in. the man's mind is clouded with the look on your face as those bastards took you. he can still remember every single little twitch of your expression when you finally saw him. he remembers the way your breath hitched. he remembers the tears that began to pool at the corners of your eyes.

but, most of all, he remembers not seeing you: for what feels like the first time in his life.

katsuki cannot recall when he finally fell asleep, or if he ever even truly did. his dreams are plagued with you anyways, so the line between memory and dream is thin as a tightrope.

he has a dream that he makes it in time to save you and wakes up alone. that one sticks with him for months, hanging over him like a shadow. if he was only a minute sooner, a stride faster, reacted quicker. maybe you would be in his arms right now instead of gods know where.

relief comes in a rumor that circles in a tavern that a woman with h/c hair and e/c eyes was spotted wondering through the dark forest. katsuki doesn't hesitate, he makes no effort to send out a scout party. he rides at dawn, horse hooves beating against the grass in a frenzied gallop as he makes his way into the badlands.

none of the rouges or thieves hope to stand a chance with him, the smart ones don't even try. he vanquishes the less fortunate with a single swing of his cutlass. the man doesn't stop to rest, only to water his horse and allow it to graze while he catches a brief nap.

his horse comes to a stop right outside the dark forests, whinnying in rejection to enter. katsuki doesn't blame the poor thing, this was the kind of place people went with no intention to come back from. he dismounts, not tying his horse off: it would return with a whistle.

the forest is eerie, yawning opening that is reminiscent of a gaping mouth. but he didn't fear. because at this point, he'd rather not come back if it meant he wasn't coming back with you.

footfalls crunching against leaves and sticks echo through the dim lit treeline. the canopy is so thick that it completely obscures the bright sunlight katsuki has just been under: the perfect place for criminals to hide. the trees creak and groan, as if the land itself was breathing and living.

only when he hears the snap of a twig does he stop, his head snaps around, a flash of h/c darting just out of the corner of his visions. the man's heart stops as he stumbles to pursue, not minding the whipping of low handing branches against his face. not when he could see you darting through the underbrush.

he finally sees you in the full when you run into a path dead-ended by brambles. it's really you. y/n, his y/n.

but you look over your shoulder with such a forlorn look it makes his heart ache in his chest. you don't believe that it's really him. "toga, this isn't funny, it's cruel to keep making me see him." your voice is rougher than he remembered, as if your throat had been worn. it makes his fists clench at his sides.

the mimic had been wearing his face, just to torment you?

just the thought of it sends a rage burning deep in his chest. he has no way of knowing what you have been through. katsuki couldn't protect you: like he always feared he would fail to do.

his steps toward you are hesitant, ruby red eyes softening the second he sees your face. his heart is pounding out of his ribs, it makes him wonder if you can hear it.

a rough hand reaches up to roughly tug the chain that held his engagement band around his neck, the links snapping and clattering to the ground. he doesn't even look at it. with a gentleness, he holds out the ring to you.

your eyes dart back between the metal and him, hands tentatively reaching for it. the thundering race of your heartbeat is all you can hear. your hands, once soft, now rough as his bush against his own as you roll the ring between your fingers.

katsuki's heart breaks when he feels the callouses on your fingertips. he lowers slowly to his knees in front of you, tears fighting their way to prick at the corners of his eyes. he looks up at you like you are the light in the world, a goddess before him. in a way, you are, because he had prayed to every deity to hold you again, even if it was only once more.

"you're as beautiful as the day i lost you." his words come out in a rasp. thick emotion coursing through his chest; nearly choking him.

he watched your eyes widen, tears pooling as you too crash onto the ground. your arms wrap tight around his neck, face pressed side-by-side with his own. strong arms encircle your waist in an instant, pressing you closer with an urgency.

"katsuki... oh gods, katsuki..." you don't even know what to say, just repeating his name like a desperate prayer. your cheeks are wet and your chest aches but you don't care, because he's finally here.

lips clash desperately, just as messy as the kiss the two of you first shared five years ago. it's a mess of teeth and tongue as your fingers tangle into ash-blonde hair, his hands finding the back of your head and your hip. he sucks the breath out of you, as if wanting to absorb you into his being.

and you'd let him if he asked.

carmine eyes search for e/c, his hands cupping your cheeks as he pulls back to study your face. it's like you never left. your eyes are tired, there's some grime on your cheeks, a soft scar above your eyebrow that you've had since you were thirteen.

the softest smile spreads on his face, forehead pressing against yours as his lashes flutter shut. katsuki lets out a deep sigh, one he had been holding for nearly two years now.

warmth blooms in your chest as everything finally settles back into place like puzzle pieces. your hearts beat in sync, you draw breath when he exhales, everything is right in the world once more.

but your heart skips a beat as your eyes open to see that cursed white hair with horns peeking out from below it. tomura shigaraki. a wicked smirk on his lips as he's leaned back against a tree, simply watching.

your hands grip tighter onto the back of the shawl draping over katsuki's shoulders, breathing turning shaky and ragged.

no. no. no. they couldn't take this from you. not again. not after how hard you fought to escape the league just at the fleeting chance of being able to see the man you love. this had to be some cruel joke, right? a trick of the light, maybe...

even you aren't naive enough to believe that, your eyes close as you lean against katsuki, head burying into the crook of his neck. your fiddle with his hands to slip the ring back onto it's rightful place on his third finger. a part of you had already resigned to being ripped away again.

after two years with the demon, you learned firsthand what shigaraki was capable of. and you were not going to allow katsuki to find it out as well.

your legs shook as you stood, a weak smile given at your lover's confused look. "i'll always love you, 'suki, you know that." his eyes widen as his head nods, brows furrowing.

"then let me keep you safe."

carnelian irises widen in realization as his head turns to look back, growl ripping from his chest at the sight of the scourge of the realm's protege. his hands immediately reach for the hilt of his sword, explosions popping in his palms.

but you're already beginning to approach. katsuki seizes you in one arm, hauling you away like the day you first met. he runs through the forest with you: knowing that shigaraki would not allow the both of you to leave.

he bounds over winding tree roots, holding you steady and tight against his chest. the impending sense of doom begins to crawl up the back of his neck, but he needs you to be safe.

with you in his arm, he stumbles out of the forest, shrill whistle leaving his lips as the sound of hooves grows closer. with ease he sets you up on the saddle, but he does not join. you realize immediately what is about to happen. "katsuki-"

"no. it's my turn to keep you safe, y/n. i've always loved you, and i always will. in every life i will find you, and in every life, i will protect you." his words bring tears to your eyes as you desperately stake your head, sobs bubbling past your lips.

shigaraki creeps out of the forest and he delivers a harsh smack to the horse's haunches, sending it galloping away. within a second later a hand is reaching through katsuki's chest, mocking laugh against his ear.

"how heroic. i'll make sure you die slow, barbarian."

never in all his life did the great katsuki bakugo think that he would ever love someone enough that he could die.

that was until he lay on the edge of the forest floor, lifeblood leaking from the gaping hole in the center of the chest. but he wasn't anguished: because he died for you, the only person who he would ever love.

okkotsuus 24

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keigosdear · 7 months ago

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{bad idea... right? - kuroo t.}

yes I know that he’s my ex, but can’t two people reconnect?//…I just tripped and fell into his bed.

kuroo x fem!reader smut. exes to lovers. 18+ MDNI please.

in which you and your ex "reconnect" after almost half a year apart, but with so many unresolved feelings, it'll either end up being the best or worst idea you've ever had.

warnings: fem!reader, no physical description (aside from specific genitalia ofc). university setting. smut, mentions of alcohol/getting drunk but no drunk sex, lots of feelings/kinda mutual pining. praise kink, a little bit of voice kink, very brief jealous reader, cunnilingus, body worship, teasing, lots of pet names in lieu of y/n, soft dom!kuroo and sub!reader, very. very. soft, kinda emotional sex, aftercare and fluff towards the end. porn with a bit of plot/build up. this fic is my baby.

a trope I never thought I'd write plus a genre I've never written before? apparently so. it's my first time writing smut, so constructive criticism is welcomed, being rude is not. can you believe I started this over the summer ‘23 and I'm only posting it now?

and lmk if I need to add anything else to the warnings :)

divider credit to: @/cafekitsune

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this truly had the potential to be one of your worst ideas yet.

you weren't even going to be at this damn party to begin with, but your friend finally convinced you to go with her after a week of wearing you down.

"it'll be fun, c'mon!" she begged.

the only reason you didn't want to go was because you were finally done with your first semester of classes and wanted to wind down in peace, not at a crowded house party filled with loud music and sweaty drunk university students.

but of course you relented when she pulled out the puppy dog eyes and played the "but we haven't hung out in months, I miss you!" card.

so there you were by the snacks and refreshments table, dressed up and nursing a drink, talking and laughing with your friends. truthfully, you were having a better time than you thought you would and figured that you had almost a month before classes started back up again to relax.

"soooo? has anyone caught your eye yet?" multiple faces focused their attention on you.

you knew part of the reason your friend had insisted on you going with her was to help you meet someone. she'd never admit it, but it was pretty obvious with the way she was pointing out people left and right, making note of how attractive they were. at one point she had even "accidentally" pushed you into one of her targets, which had made for some very awkward small-talk on your end with someone you had zero interest in and some giggling from her.

it's not that you were opposed to the idea of finding someone, but in all honesty, no one had caught your eye. recently you had gotten out of a long long term relationship, and starting over after that just seemed so... unappealing to you.

it also seemed unfair to start anything new when you were very much not over him. breaking up in the middle of the semester had made it really easy for you to push down any emotions and throw yourself into your studies. but it didn't change the fact that you missed him. even now, the party acted as a good distraction for you.

or so you thought.

you were about to respond when your phone buzzed. you looked down and your heart leapt into your throat when you saw the contact name.

it felt strange seeing it as "kuroo" rather than some version of his given name or a pet name. once you hit the one minute mark of just staring at the text notification in shock, your friend peeked over your shoulder and gasped a little.

"you didn't block him?!"

you snatched your phone out of her hand after she stole it to show your group of friends.

"why would I? it's not like we hate each other."

and it was true- you both ended amicably (though very reluctantly). you only ever wanted the best for each other, and while it was sad, you realized that at this point in your lives with how busy you both were, you weren't able to offer that anymore.

you’d rather this than end things resenting each other.

still, it was a hard pill to swallow, so for now you were just holding it on your tongue, letting the bitter taste of the coating settle instead.

she frowned. "well yeah, but-"

you cut her off before she could bring up the very emotions you were ignoring in that moment and shoved your phone back in your pocket. "c'mon, let's go dance!"

later, though, when you excused yourself to the bathroom, the first thing you did was down your second drink and read the text.

hey.

do you want to come over?

you stared at the messages for another minute, reading and re-reading them over and over again before sighing. being with him for years meant you knew him like the back of your hand, and he wasn't one for casual hook ups or one night stands. you hadn't even heard from him in a few months- this was the first bit of contact you'd had with him since you cleaned out your drawer of clothes at his place.

which meant he was either drunk and missing you or someone was playing a prank and you'd just end up a fool.

seriously weighing the options in front of you, trying not to let your emotions overpower your decision making, you attempted to think about the long term consequences of going over.

no matter how you spun it, it sounded like a bad idea. even if he did send the texts, there was no guarantee he wanted anything out of it.

but you were too tipsy for logic at that point in the night, and if you were being honest with yourself, you were in need of some excitement.

yeah.

I'll send my new address.

wait, he moved?

despite being together for so long, the two of you never ended up living together, opting for dorms and student houses with friends. still, you did spend a lot of time at his old place, and before the breakup you had even talked about the possibility of moving in together after the current school year was done.

you didn't linger on the sour feelings that brought up and instead decided to let your friends know you were leaving. when they asked where you were going, you spun some lie about not feeling well and wanting to head home before you got worse. you didn't really care if they believed you or not.

checking the address he had sent you once more, you made your way out of the house and were pleasantly surprised to realize it wasn't that far of a walk, especially since you were wearing uncomfortable party shoes.

you sipped on the bottle of water you swiped form the refreshment table and tried to sober up a bit more before seeing him. you weren't a hundred percent sure what would happen once you got there, but it was a good idea to be prepared for anything.

eventually you made it up to his apartment, which was in another student housing building off campus, bigger than his old place, and took a moment to compose yourself.

there was still time to turn back and make an excuse for why you bailed.

there was still time to think it through.

there was still time to save yourself from the possibility of more pain.

you took a deep breath and knocked on the door anyway.

not even five seconds later, the door was opening and you were face to face with your ex boyfriend.

you took him in for the first time in months- really took him in. sure, you'd seen his instagram posts since breaking up, but you could only zoom in so far on those. and fine, maybe your friends had tried to set you up with people they had deemed "much hotter", but you never saw the appeal. you couldn't even remember any of their faces in that moment, because kuroo was right there.

his hair was the same as always, slightly messier than usual, exactly how it looked whenever he (or you) would run his hands through it on a particularly stressful day.

had he been stressed about the text? did he regret it?

he was dressed somewhat casually, in a dark red shirt you recognized as part of a birthday gift you gave him one year (you had always liked the colour red on him). he was wearing black sweatpants and his socks were mismatched.

everything about him was familiar, and you hated the way a feeling of ease settled over you when he finished his own analysis of you and gave a boyish, almost giddy grin. "hi."

his voice was warm and gave you butterflies. there was an undertone of excitement in his greeting and it quelled your worries about him regretting the texts.

you decided to smile back, though somewhat shyly (which you inwardly scolded yourself for), and spoke up. "hi."

he didn't let the silence that followed settle into awkwardness. he opened the door a bit wider, and welcomed you in. ever the gentleman, he took your coat and and helped you balance as you took your shoes off. you tried to ignore how warm and gentle his touch was, how it made you immediately crave more.

you made your way into the living room and took everything in. there were empty cans and shot glasses littered across the room, mostly concentrated on the coffee table. you thought you heard him swear under his breath when he looked at the mess as well.

"did you have a party?" you asked, now close enough to smell a bit of alcohol on him.

he shook his head and looked a bit embarrassed. "ah, no..." he rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and sighed. "my roommates went out with some friends tonight and decided to pre-game here. I went back to my room before they left because I didn't feel like drinking too much and assumed they'd clean up a bit..."

you nodded in understanding. "wishful thinking, huh?"

he chuckled. "yeah, guess so," he said, then gestured to an empty spot on the couch. "sit, I'll just get some of this out of the way quickly."

"oh, I can help-" you tried to offer but he waved you off.

"don't worry about it. I'm the one who invited you into a sloppy apartment, you shouldn't have to clean up a mess that isn't yours."

you snorted and watched as he shoved a ton of cans into the decorative waste bin by the sofa and took some glasses to the sink in the kitchen. "says the one who's cleaning up a mess that isn't his."

you heard him laugh at your words and the butterflies erupted in your stomach again. you hadn't realized how much you missed that sound. suddenly your mind wandered back to the reason behind his invitation. you'd be alone tonight?

once he returned from the kitchen and sat down next to you, you talked for a bit. he caught you up on the moving situation (him and a few friends found an opening for the second semester, so they decided to jump on it and try to stay until grad, hopefully. he made a joke about trying to make friends with the landlord). you listened closely, trying not to make it obvious you were hanging off his every word.

when he was done, you caught him up on your life and how you were at a party when he texted. he apologized for interrupting and you told him a little too fast not to be, which he seemed pleased with.

after a while, he asked if you wanted to watch a movie. you agreed, though you were starting to get impatient. you knew he wasn't the type of guy to ever expect anything from anyone, but the curiosity was eating you alive. you couldn't help but finally ask him about it halfway through the movie.

"hey... why did you invite me tonight?"

he didn't seem surprised by your question, which told you he was probably expecting it. (it was silly of you to think he couldn't tell when something was on your mind after years together and only months apart.)

he took a deep breath in and looked down at his lap. while he didn't look outwardly nervous, you knew him well enough to know what his tells were. he picked at a thread on his pants, trying to compose himself before dropping the bomb.

"because I missed you." he looked you in the eye and then continued. "a lot. and you can take that however you'd like. I'll let you decide."

you blinked at him. he'd let you decide? the way he said it implied that he missed you, missed you. not just missed having you in his life, not just as a friend- he missed you.

you would be nothing but a liar if you said you hadn't missed him too. and you knew that the feeling of security and familiarity you experienced earlier wasn't just nostalgia or your own unresolved feelings. if that were the case, you wouldn't be feeling this comfortable on the couch with him. you wouldn't be able to pretend things were normal between you as easily as you had been all night.

kuroo still very much felt like home, and you didn't want to let him go ever again. there was only one way for you to take his declaration.

"can I..." you looked into his eyes and tried not to drown in them. "can I kiss you?"

he looked relieved at your words and eagerly nodded. "please."

you leaned forward and feverishly crashed your lips against his as soon as the word left his mouth. he raised one hand to cup your cheek and pulled you closer to him by your thigh with the other, not once breaking away from you.

soon you were straddling his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck, quiet noises releasing into the air around you both. you moved a hand up the back of his neck, into his hair, and he groaned slightly into your mouth.

you giggled into the kiss, happy to see you still knew what got him going.

as if either of you could forget- it was muscle memory at that point. just like you'd never forget how to ride a bike, you'd never forget how to make the other feel good.

eventually you both had to pull away and fill your lungs again, but you were close enough that your foreheads touched and your breaths mixed.

it was quiet aside from some light panting, so you decided to break that silence with a confession of your own. "I missed you too, tetsurou. so much."

now, you weren't sure if it was what you said or how you said it, but as soon as the words left your mouth, you felt something hard pressing against the area between your legs and gasped a little.

your eyes opened and you pulled your face away just enough to look at him properly. your eyes met his and his face was tinged pink. "I- I'm sorry... we don't... if you don't want to..." he mumbled, not sure how to gage your reaction to this sudden development.

you kissed him again, softer this time to reassure him, and smiled a bit when you pulled away. "I want to, tetsu."

he let out a relieved sigh and smiled at you in turn, then glanced over at the door. "I have no idea when they'll be back... do you want to continue this in my room?" his eyes slowly and hopefully made their way back to yours.

you nodded and squealed a bit when he suddenly scooped you up in his arms, smile growing wider as he made his way to his bedroom.

and that’s how you got here- cutting to when he gently sets you down on the bed, and you scoot back a bit to lay down comfortably. quickly following, his body covers yours and he begins kissing you again.

your arms instinctively move, one wrapping around his broad shoulders, the other cupping his cheek as you move your lips against his. his own hands, now free due to the fact that he’s propped up on one of his forearms, caress your waist and the the top of your head respectively.

after a few minutes of him focusing on your lips, he starts making his way down your neck. they’re feather light kisses at first to make you giggle, but eventually he finds the sensitive spot he always loved to mark up and the sweet sounds turn into shallow, shuddery breaths.

you whine as soon as he starts sucking on it and you bring your hand up from his cheek to his hair. "mmn... tetsu..."

he pulls away just enough so that you can still feel his lips against your flesh as he trails them up your neck to hover just over your ear. "you have no idea," he breathes out, voice low and far more erotic than you think he intended, "how much I've missed this."

you shudder and turn your face away at the tingly sensation, but the hand on your waist darts up to tilt your chin back in his direction. one thing you always appreciated about kuroo was how tenderly he handled you, no matter the tone of your late night endeavors. he was always gentle with you- not in a way that made you feel fragile, but rather in a way that told you he truly cared for you, treasured you, adored you.

the idea that this is still the case turns you on even more and makes your brain go a bit fuzzy.

when your eyes met his once more, you could see that adoration pooling in them. “look at me, sweetheart.”

you nodd slightly in his firm, yet still very soft grasp and keep your eyes trained on his. you could feel yourself getting wet as they trail over your face, and you swear your entire body feels warm as he gives you a rare type of smile only reserved for times like these.

he leans in to kiss you again and his hand moves from your face to toy with the lower hem of your dress. “you look absolutely gorgeous in this, baby, but do you think can we take it off?” he’s still speaking in the low, sultry tone that always drives you wild- you’re certain that you’d do anything he asked of you with that voice.

you sit up a little and move to unzip the dress, but he takes your hands and gives you a look. “ah ah- let me, pretty girl, you don’t have to move a muscle.”

it’s almost jarring how easily you both fall back into it. as soon as your dress is off, his shirt follows and he’s back to hovering over you. it really feels as though no time has passed since your last time with him.

just more proof that this is right.

he wastes no time in ridding you of your bra and himself of his shirt before pushing you back down onto the bed.

the room is once again filled with sounds of soft moans and gasps as he kisses your chest and takes one of your nipples into his mouth. he alternates between swirling his tongue around it and sucking. kuroo didn’t let your other breast go unattended for long, though, as he begins teasing the hardened bud with his fingers.

“aah, tetsu… please…” you gasped out.

the man on top of you chuckles, and in between switching sides he looks at you from under his eyelashes. “still so sensitive, hm? it’s cute.”

you resist the urge to hide your face and instead opt for throwing your head back when he suddenly sucks on the other nipple.

heat continues to build inside of you until he eventually he trails his kisses down the valley of your breasts, across your ribcage and down to your tummy. he spends a little extra time there, and you have to gently tug on his hair and whine about him taking too long for him to break away from your skin.

“let me worship you, angel. missed your body so much.” his voice is barely audible, the words murmured as though he was in a trance. you feel your pussy clench around nothing at his confession and bite back a whimper.

his lips curl upwards while pressed against your stomach and his eyes flicker up to meet yours. “keep your eyes on me, baby. don’t ever want to be away from you again,” he commands.

he rests his chin on your pubic bone and traces the elastic band of your panties with two familiar fingers. “you wore my favourite.”

heat rushes to your face and you do turn away this time, but he makes a disapproving noise you’re all too familiar with. “sweetheart, what did I just tell you?”

you bite your lip and force your eyes back to his.

he rewards you with a tender kiss to your belly and a “there’s a good girl, knew she was in there…” before he pulls your panties off.

you grow nervous, though you know you don’t need to be with him, and close your legs. his eyes soften significantly at the action. you're not sure why exactly the nerves get to you now of all times, especially considering how much you like his stricter side, but they do and he sees it.

he drops the strict act and rubs reassuring circles to your inner thigh. you've always preferred your softer sessions, anyway. “hey, it’s alright. I’m gonna take good care of you… missed my girl so much, just want to make you feel good, okay? we’ll save that for another time. it’s just you and me now, baby.”

you nod and a wave of calm washes over you at the reassurance. you let him pry your legs apart and gasp as he dives in.

he starts with wet kisses working their way up your thighs, to your slit and then up to your clit before he takes the bud into his mouth and sucks on it. you let out a soft moan and buck your hips into his face.

"mmn," he pulls away for a second and holds your hips down. "don't thrash, princess, just let me do all the work."

and he does. once he really gets into the groove of eating you out, you're a mess on his bed- legs shaking over his shoulders, cunt clenching around his tongue and whimpering out little thank you's when he makes you cum for the first time that night.

but he doesn't stop there. "tastes so good, baby, need more," he says in between licking your juices from your folds. "c’mon, just one more. you can do it," he picks up the pace again, and before you know it you're begging for more, too.

"tetsu- ah~!" you moan when he exchanges licking for sucking on your still sensitive clit again. you feel like you're on fire as he draws you closer and closer to reaching your second high.

you tangle your hands in his hair and he groans, sending vibrations throughout your core. you cry out and arch off the bed, spilling into his mouth.

this time when he pulls away, he slithers back up your body and kisses you. "see how good you taste, baby? best in the world, haven't I always told you that?"

your stomach twists from the praise and you turn your head to the side bashfully, trying to stabilize your breathing. he holds himself up above you and strokes your cheek with his knuckles, watching you fondly. it does nothing but make you more dizzy with affection.

when you've calmed down enough, he whispers "do you still want to-"

"yes." you cut him off and he chuckles.

"okay baby," he crawls off of you and reaches for his nightstand. he opens the drawer and-

your stomach sinks when you see an open box of condoms. the thought of him being with other girls makes you feel green with envy which you suppose isn’t fair considering you’ve been broken up for months, but you’re still a little fuzzy and too high on your own emotions right now to care.

he looks between you and the box and immediately catches on when an unexpected tear falls from your eye.

“oh, baby no-“ he takes one from the box and quickly returns to your side. “I haven’t been using these,” he cups your face and strokes his thumb under your eye.

“you haven’t?” you sniffle and he shakes his head right away.

you pout. “but then-”

kuroo cuts you off with a roll of his eyes. “one of my roommates got them for me as a joke for my birthday. I only opened them because he kept asking to borrow them.”

you digest his words and slowly look up at him. he’s already looking at you and you can’t keep your eyes from watering some more. the thought of him being intimate with someone new when you’ve spent the past few months rejecting everyone your friends forced your way.

“I haven’t even looked at anyone else since we broke up,” he murmurs against your hairline. “missed you too much.”

you nod, finding no traces of dishonesty on his features. “I haven’t been with anyone either… I wasn’t over you. I didn’t want to be,” you admit, voice soft.

he smiles and presses kisses from your scalp down to your cheeks. “such a sweet girl I have, hm? how about you help me out here?”

he tugs off his sweats and your attention is drawn to the tent his boxers. you bite your lip and reach for the band but he takes your hand and places the condom on your palm.

you blink up at him, confused. “you don’t want me to-“

he shakes his head and tugs his boxers down. his cock springs free and you gasp a little at the sight of his tip- red and smeared with pre-cum.

“no, angel, I need to be inside of you. just help me put it on.”

you make quick work of tearing the wrapper off and rolling the condom over his length. he groans at the feeling of your knuckles grazing his skin, but as soon as you pull away he’s flipping you on your back and lining himself up against your entrance.

he knocks his forehead against yours. “ready, baby?”

you nod and wrap your arms around his neck to pull him closer. he leans down for a kiss and slowly pushes into you as your lips connect.

you whine a little at the stretch and he pauses everything. “you’re okay,” he reassures you, giving you time to adjust.

you nod when you feel ready for him to keep going and he bottoms out with a strangled moan. “you’re unreal, you know that?”

his praise pulls a giggle from your throat but it quickly turns into a breathy sigh when he starts moving.

he starts off slow, but soon enough you’re both lost in the moment and his pace picks up. within the next few minutes, his room is filled with sounds of pleasure and sweet words exchanged between lovers.

“you’re perfect,” he says, angling his lips closer to your ear. his hips stutter when you clamp around him at his words.

his thrusts reach deep enough to get you crying out for him. “tetsu, faster! please!”

“ah- there’s a good girl, love hearing you beg for more.” he nibbles the spot just below your ear, soothing it with his tongue.

“I love you,” you whimper, nails digging into his shoulders.

kuroo groans at the sensation and goes a bit harder. “you needed this just as bad as I did, hm? it’s okay, I’ve got you now, pretty girl. just relax.”

you hide your face in his neck and try to stifle your moans, but he doesn’t appreciate that one bit. “stop that, let me hear you,” he commands and you immediately pull your head back.

he grins down at you and kisses your nose. “sound so pretty when you’re falling apart on my cock, you know better than to hide those noises from me.”

you nod and find yourself unable to look away from his face, as if you were in a trance. he’s absolutely gorgeous on top of you- why would you want to look away?

“you close, baby?” he asks after your walls tighten even more.

“mmhm,” you whimper and lean up for a kiss.

“me too,” he whispers and tugs one of your hands away from his shoulder. he intertwines your fingers and presses is above your head against the pillow. “needed this just as badly as I did, hm? it’s okay, I’ve got you, baby.”

doing so good for me.

you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.

you feel so fucking good, princess.

all of his praise sent shockwaves throughout your body and soon enough you’re tipping over the edge. your back is arched, head thrown back and a loud cry of his name is drawn from you as you cum for the second time.

he follows soon after and you feel his whole body shudder when he spills into his condom.

your breaths mix together as you both come down from your highs. it’s quiet for a few moments before he carefully pulls out and disposes of the soiled contraceptive in the trash next to his bed. he rolls back into bed, facing you.

he strokes your cheek with his knuckles and smiles at you when you open your eyes and turn to face him as well. “hi pretty girl, you okay?”

you take a deep breath and curl into his chest. you still feel slightly too light and any thoughts not related to him are muddled. you’re overcome with an intense wave of affection for him.

he must notice, because when you manage to peek up at him again, he snorts. “yeah, I don’t know what I was expecting.”

he knows better than to try and leave the bed right away (memories of you whining and clinging to him when he did attempt it early on in your relationship flash through his mind and he smiles), so instead he wraps his arms around you and presses kisses to your hairline.

you savour the familiar feeling of being wrapped in his arms and nuzzle into his bare chest. the most comfortable feeling in the world.

eventually he does get up to grab a damp cloth and some water, and he informs you that you can use his bathroom for whatever you need.

you’re both following the same routine you had when you were together as if you hadn’t broken up at all.

now that you’ve regained some clarity, you start to worry about what exactly that means.

you’ve both admitted to missing each other like crazy, but you assume you’ll need to have a serious conversation with kuroo about whether or not you should get back together.

you ponder over this on his bed for a bit longer before he interrupts your thoughts. “we don’t have to talk about it right now,” he starts. “we can talk about it tomorrow morning if you would prefer, but…”

he pauses like he’s not sure if he should continue. you nod encouragingly, curious as to where this is going (thought you think you know). “but I meant absolutely everything I said tonight. um, before and while we were… uh. busy.”

you giggle a little at his shy demeanour before considering the weight of his words. “we could talk about it tomorrow morning, but I think we both already know what we want from this right?”

he doesn’t need to nod, but he does anyway. “I definitely have an answer already.”

you knock your forehead against his. “so… are we officially back together then?”

he offers you the widest grin he’s thrown your way all night. “I think we are, sweetheart. We’ll make it work this time, I promise.”

“I promise,” you repeat.

the rest of the night is spent cuddling under covers, sharing kisses and secrets you’ve missed out on sharing these past few months.

“I love you,” you say, before you finally drift off for the night.

you don’t hear him, but he’s quick to return the sentiment. “I love you too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BONUS:

the following morning, you wake up to your phone ringing. you groan when you see it’s your friend and realize you never texted her back last night to tell her you’re okay.

you look over at kuroo, still sound asleep beside you, and answer as quietly as possible. “hello?”

“oh thank goodness you’re alright, why weren’t you picking up? we all called you a million times!”

you check and see a ton of missed calls from more of your friends who saw you leave the party last night. “I’m sorry, I was asleep,” you say sincerely, only twisting the truth a little bit.

you feel slightly bad about it, you mentally promise her to tell her everything later.

before she can respond, your boyfriend sits up (when did he even wake up?) and says into the phone, “sorry, it’s my fault. but I promise I took good care of her,” he smirks at you.

you flinch when she shrieks into your ear. “YOU WERE WITH KUROO?!”

glaring at him, he snickers and takes the phone from you. “she’ll call you back later, we’re still catching up.”

“no, wait-“ he hangs up the phone and tosses it onto his sheets.

you pout at him. “tetsu, c’mon.”

he kisses your cheek. “I really didn’t meant for it to come off as rude, I swear. I just wanted a relaxing morning with you before you have to leave.”

you sigh and fall back into the soft comfort of his pillows. “it’s okay,” you say. “I really didn’t feel like giving her the rundown first thing in the morning, anyway. you really tired me out last night,” you peer up at him.

he laughs. “oh really? we’ve gotta build up your stamina again, pretty girl. I wasn’t lying-“ he crawls over and hovers a few inches above you. “we still have a lot of catching up to do.”

you mentally pat yourself on the back for answering his texts. definitely not your worst idea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I swear I’ll get better at writing smut, folks 🫡

but for my first time writing it, I don’t think it’s horrible. if the ending feels a bit rushed, it’s because I’ve literally had this sitting in my drafts since miss olivia rodrigo released the music video for this song last august and I wanted it out 🙃.

tagging @nyctophilicroses bc I remember you commented on the original post I made asking abt exes to lovers with kuroo 🥹

#kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo smut #kuroo x reader smut #kuroo tetsurou x reader smut #haikyuu smut #hq smut #haikyuu x reader

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blingblong55 · 1 year ago

Text

This love - Vladimir Makarov

Based on a request:

Oh, as a request idea what would be about Makarov and wife! reader for whom he'd burn the world and she got injured during a fight with an opposing tean having him go rampant at everyone until he holds her again? With a fluffy ending mayhaps?

(also I absolutely loved The Great War 💕) --- F!Reader, fluff, established!relationship, in love with the villain, wife!reader, husband!Makarov, protective!husband --- A/N: I always said, Makarov embodies 'I'll burn the world for you, for what they did to you.' I will never back down from that. Also, I'm glad you liked The Great War :)

Red. That is all he saw, how dare they hurt his wife! No one and he means no one can ever in their fucking miserable lives touch you, never and that is a threat. He hated them, for all they are worth, Kasper Team is a dead organisation. Did he need their blood? Yes, his wife, his darling wife got hurt and oh will they pay for what they did. You walk into the room, his gaze softens, his fist opens and he smiles. How can the world be so cruel to him? Making him the evil man and then giving him a pretty lady like you and making him turn into the softest of men.

"My love," he speaks to you, nods the man off so he can be alone with you and opens his arms. "Don't hurt them," you speak and he looks at you, cupping your face and shaking his head. "I must. No one can touch you, sometimes I feel as if I don't deserve the privilege of touching you. You are an angel maybe a little bit of a devil but you…oh, you are my angel and no one should touch or hurt you," his lips meet your forehead. This is always the same discussion, he is so cruel, so evil, so vile primarily if you were hurt. And you always found yourself not wanting him to stop, it is a dangerous form of devotion that you two have. Something neither of you want to stop, to never lose. For you, he would tear the world apart, he would hold you in his warm arms as you two watch with glee as the world falls apart.

For you, he would drench himself in blood, only to have you kiss him, wipe the blood off and still see him as the man of your fantasies. Call it wicked call it anything you please, but his love, oh his loving heart is dangerous and fun. It is the kind of love no man should play with. Not even the evil of monsters dared to touch that dark corner but you did and that evolved into something so beautifully treacherous. He'll tell you anything if you only ask it of him. It's trust, truthfulness, devotion, lust, poison and an anecdote found between lips, warm hugs, sex, and all else those eyes of yours and his fail to say when they look at the other.

To him, having you was brighter than the sun in that blue sky. Your caress was a warm blanket on a snowy day. A room full of bloodthirsty soldiers could go silent when you walked in and into his arms. No one dared question you, never and he would make sure of that. Your kiss, possessing him, taking control of his soul and making it your slave. His heart, that long has been proven to belong to you, to have your name carved in it the second he was born. Stars aligned or not, he was yours, your fool, soldier, lover and friend. He is the darkness, the one you found comfort in.

He cares for you. That's why, he sent his men to hunt down all those responsible for your injury. "Come here, let me hold you," he walks to his chair, sitting down and making you sit on his lap. His arms held you close to him like he needed to have his skin and yours mixed together. It's perfect, you're perfect. He looks at the plans for how he will end that organisation and then smiles, kisses your neck and hums as he nuzzles his face to your body. He isn't like anyone, for if he was, Shakespeare would have done a play about him and it would be that in this case, the villain wins. You drink your poison for him and he does the same for you. Never one without the other. He made sure of that.

They say, that what feeds wars is hate, for him, this new war is revenge. You turn to him, wondering what is going on in his head. And as if he was listening to your thoughts he smiles, "You. I'm thinking of you, how lucky I am…how lucky I got to have a wonderful soul, my wife, my lovely R/N to love me back." His thumb touches your bottom lip. He was in a trance, one you knew well. In his mind, Vladimir always thought of when he met you, how he fell in love with you and how his cold heart started to get warm again. Your eyes, oh that sweet stare that made him into the poem reader he has become. So, when he looks deep into your eyes, he cups your face with both of his hands and begins to recite a poem for you.

O my Luve is like a red, red rose That’s newly sprung in June; O my Luve is like the melody That’s sweetly played in tune.

So fair art thou, my bonnie lass, So deep in luve am I; And I will luve thee still, my dear, Till a’ the seas gang dry.

Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear, And the rocks melt wi’ the sun; I will love thee still, my dear, While the sands o’ life shall run.

And fare thee weel, my only luve! And fare thee weel awhile! And I will come again, my luve, Though it were ten thousand mile. (A Red, Red Rose by Robert Burns)

Your eyes are teary and beautiful. "Don't doubt for a second I will hesitate to hurt the man who hurt you," he whispers and kisses you once more. Like a precious cascade, his love pours into your lips. No one knew but behind closed doors, in safe arms and on a reading nook, he held you close, a book in his hands as he read to you poems or stories. Your hands by his thighs as the autumn skies cast your shadows. Love, yeah….this is perfect, this love is the embodiment of calm love.

A/N: so...now in my head, it's canon this man reads poetry

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illumnis · 6 months ago

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finish line. — you and alhaitham are not friends, far from it. you're not exactly lovers either; so why does he decide to take ten steps back and settle for aquaintances?

pairing: alhaitham x gn!reader

warnings: kinda toxic? idk to each and their own, he's just really emotionally ignorant, mentions of non-sexual nudity, angst, unedited

note: look what i'm back with (i am so sorry this is bad,,, i haven't written in AGES), also happy summer i am officially not a highschooler anymore!

alhaitham is efficient. he decides what is considered more work than necessary and greatly succeeds with the basic necessities. this also means that alhaitham has every intention to finish what he starts and only starts what he knows he can finish.

alhaitham also holds your hand so you can fall asleep at night despite the nightmares that plague your imagination, but he leaves before you can wake up. alhaitham helps you scrub away the finely ground sand off of your sweaty body after a research project done on the dunes residing in the sumerian desert, even allowing you to do the same to him, but he always rejects your offer to cook him dinner afterwards in celebration of the grueling excursion. alhaitham whispers how you're devastatingly beautiful as he washes your hair without care if you hear him or not, but he can't bring himself to help you dry it.

for once in his life, alhaitham has started something he can't bring himself to finish.

he wonders why you're bitter all of a sudden. how you can't bring yourself to look at him in the eyes anymore, how you walk a step behind him instead of a linked pace, how you don't let him touch your hair anymore, how you don't invite him over or ask if you can tag along on his journeys to the desert.

you're avoiding him and he blames his irritation on the fact that friends aren't supposed to brush each other off.

you're not entirely sure when the two of you started treading the line between acceptable and having alhaitham push you away, but the unspoken agreement was that this was all it was going to be. you're not like alhaitham. often times, you walk the world on your terms, which must be why you now found yourself on the opposing side of the agreement.

who can blame you? he's seen you, flesh and bone. under your clothes and to your heart. he's seen you, your rampant imagination, both the good and the bad parts. he's seen you most vulnerable, stating that even this side of you is worth adoring.

the waiting game was a exhausting one, even before, you knew he'd be the last person to bring your... situation with him up; which is why you settle for slowly stretching the strings of your relationship until they snap, and you never have to look back.

or that was at least the idea until you were crying behind the akademiya over an offhanded comment that your least favourite professor had made about you. he was there, somehow he always is, and he was holding you. his warmth was the same as it had been since you had last invited him over, which only made you cry more. had your absence not frosted his heart over at least a little?

by the time you're done crying, you are no longer in his arms and he looks at you with a mixture of hurt and comfort. something vengeful in you is satisfied that you have given him a taste of how he leaves you.

"i'll always be here when you need me, yn, regardless of if you choose to stop being acquainted with me or not."

somehow, his reassuring words do the opposite and the vengeful spirit in you grows.

"then why can't you let me need you all the time? what's stopping you from letting us rely on each other? it's not like you act like we don't already."

this seals his lips and a subtle frown paints itself over his them and something inside you aches. you have always prided yourself in being able to bring the most emotion out of him that anyone has in years. now, you are stuck with pitiful expressions; frowns nonetheless.

it's a heavy silence that takes over the atmosphere before you've decided that whether you hear his answer or not, you'll still hear your glass heart shatter. so you move to get up.

"i can't take the risk. not yet." it flows out of his mouth so naturally. almost like he's been waiting for your confrontation.

"risk? what risk, alhaitham? look at what you've started, you've already taken it," you're fuming, a new level of self-loathing filling your being at the idea of you being so naive to believe that someone who can't even call you a friend could be full of love, "either finish what you've started, or destroy it before you lose yourself in it."

alhaitham's silence elicits a scoff from your lips and you're grateful you had shaken yourself out of his touch earlier, or else you'd find yourself back at square one; forgiving him and asking once more if he'd let you make him dinner hoping his answer would be different.

you'll help him out one last time, you guess. walking away as he doesn’t spare you a glance, stuck in the position that was meant to comfort you, only for it to end whatever mess he had started.

navi. mlist.

#theatre: now playing! 🎭#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin angst #genshin impact angst #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham angst #al haitham x reader #al haitham imagines #al haitham angst

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marveliciousfanace · 15 days ago

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I've said for the better part of two years, well before it was even announced, that a Misfits and Magic season 2 might kill me, and in fact it tried (in only the best ways)! And not only did it give me the gift of a new all-time favorite D20 episode (sorry, Neverafter's "Once Upon A Time," there's a new dealing-with-PC-death-in-the-most-perfect way episode, and it's "A Place of Knowing"), it also gave me something I've been waiting years for: little lineart symbols that perfectly match my usual tattoo aesthetic, so I can finally get the D20 tattoo I've been dreaming of, for my favorite campaign, no less.

Just one problem: I'm not much for social media, and having consumed all the MisMag season 2 content I can find, I still can't find anything that confirms what all six of the little creature symbols should be. So I figured I'd farm the question out to the internet, and see if anyone saw/heard something I missed. So: the index cards.

The warm half of our color wheel, as depicted by the Gowcentric Orrery, is straightforward. The symbols appear on Tabby in direct coordination with their names when the Pilot Program visits Galamanis, the Qohlye, and Weugan in episodes 2, 3, and 6. They also all look reasonably recognizable as their animals (I'd say the Qohlye the least, and Weugan the most, but there's still a winged goat, a lizard, and a dog in the shapes). So that was easy. The problem is, unless I missed something, we're not shown the other three island/creatures in as straightforward a way.

Across different episodes, we do see symbols that clearly represent Tabby, the knotted symbol for magic's rules, and, of course, Tabby's enemies to lovers best friends relationship with Jammer, but because they're recognizable, I discounted them from my research. But, in episode 4 (on Seegenpelater) we do see three other symbols, which are never formally explained on the show, appearing when the Pilot Program are conversing with text-Tabby. Without finding anything to confirm or deny it, I've assumed that these three other symbols are in fact the cool side of our color wheel, breaking Tabby's pictogram language into the six basic magic principals he was made to coordinate. Which leaves the problem of working out which symbol is which of our favorite little magic guys.

With limited understanding, the only clues I really could think to go off of were the general shape of the symbol, and the word they appear before on Tabby's tablet when he's doing his magic-eight-ball routine. I'm almost 100% certain the above symbol is Seegenpelater's. I'd say this looks about as close to a two-headed camel as the warm side of the wheel looks to their animals. It also was accompanied by the word "doubtful" on Tabby's screen, which I do think corresponds reasonably to Seegenpelater being the basis of illusory/enchantment magic (ie, magic that casts reality in doubt). That would make it the blue wedge, opposite Galamanis, and leaves us with purple (Miskoro) and green (Tadershecourt).

This is where I hit the snag. I don't think either of these especially resembles our boy Tad. I could honestly see an argument for either depicting an antlered creature. My best guess is that the one on the left is Miskoro and the one on the right is Tad: I'd say the left looks to me like a winged guy with a tail, and the right does have a vague skull shape to it. We also see both of these symbols used twice. The left symbol accompanies the phrase "likely," while the right is joined with "ask later." I don't find that particularly helpful, since both phrases to me could be associated with Miskoro's transformation magic, but given that Tad's is a magic of curtailing/lessening, I'd be more inclined to give him the latter (also, I think it looks like a power button, and it's fun to think about Tad's symbol literally being a kind of off switch).

Assuming I'm correct, and that these symbols do all correspond to the orrery (as opposed to us just not seeing some symbols because it didn't come up during gameplay), that would make our full, official Gowcentric Orrery look something like this (apologies for the quick, shitty sketch):

Does anyone know a confirmation one way or the other if this is right? If @quiddie or the Dimension 20 art team has released an official version? I've literally been thinking about this for the past two months, so if anyone else has an answer, or even just a theory, I'd really love to hear it!

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hford0311 · 2 months ago

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She never looked at me that way before

Summary: From the first time you met Bucky as a 7-year-old, things got ugly quick, which established a decade-long hatred for your male neighbor who unfortunately was also your brother's best friend. Then, one night began to change your opinions of Bucky.

Tags: 1930/40s timeline. Fem!reader x Bucky Barnes. Childhood enemies to lovers.

Being Steve's younger sister wasn't the easiest thing imaginable. "But Mama!" You cried as you watched the other children in the neighborhood play. "Y/n, I said no." You huffed and plopped yourself on the floor in front of the window. "Can't do nothin' 'round here." You angrily mumbled. "Missy, you keep that attitude up, I'll find you something to complain about." Your mother called. You rolled your eyes out the window. At the ripe age of seven, you knew the unfairness whenever you looked at your brother. You were aware of the problems, but they only bothered you at times like this. However, they happened more often than not now that you were in a new neighborhood with new kids.

A knock at the door minutes led you to race to it and open it. Your mother sighed and whispered, "I don't know what I'm going to do with you," before she walked over to the open door. "You must be Mrs. Rodgers," the woman at the door smiled with two children at her sides, "I'm Mrs. Barnes and these are my children, James and Rebecca." "Bucky, Mama," the boy groaned. The mother lightly chuckled, "Sorry, Bucky, my troublesome son." Sarah smiled back the mother. "Well, you met my troublesome, Y/n. Let me go fetch her brother," she went and grabbed Steve from the bedroom.

"Would you be opposed to them playing outside while we get to know each other?" Mrs. Barnes questioned. Sarah hesitated, fearing Steve would have an asthma attack or worse. "I promise my children know the rules of playing outdoors. Plus, they can introduce them to the others. Be good for them to have friends before school starts." Mrs. Barnes persuaded her. "Oh, Mama, please!" You and your brother begged. Sarah sighed, "Alright, but you and your brother have to look after each other." You and Steve cheered before following the other children outside.

Sarah anxiously watch her children play with the others in the alley from the window. It felt a little too fitting that her children were the same age of the Barnes children. "I'm sure they'll be fine, Sarah." Mrs. Barnes mentioned. The two women bonded, soon learning about each others' past and present. Meanwhile, you decided you wanted to play stickball with some of the boys. However, it wasn't that easy. Somehow, it ended with you and Bucky screaming in each others' faces. Despite the two year difference, you still stood nose to nose with the boy when you were on your toes. "If you weren't a girl, I'd hit ya!" Bucky yelled.

Wham! Children swarmed the scene. "I wonder-oh my goodness!" Mrs. Barnes glanced out the window to witness what was happening. She quickly ran down to the alley with Sarah not far behind. "Out of my way!" Mrs. Barnes screamed and broke apart the group of children to reveal her eldest with a bloody nose. Sarah separated you from the group. You were panting and hid your bloody hand behind your back. "What happened!" "She's crazy!" Bucky yelled as an answer. "He wouldn't let me play because I'm a girl!" You yelled back. "Y/n! You do not hit!" Sarah scolded. "But-" "No buts." She huffed and grabbed your wrist, trying to avoid getting blood on her before dragging you up to the apartment. That moment defined your hatred towards Bucky Barnes.

Soon after the initial fight and greeting, the boy could never stop coming by to hang out with Steve, leaving you to steam in irritation. However, Rebecca was able to help with the situation a lot of the time. You two loved to gossip and make fun of Bucky. Funny how the two siblings were totally different. Sarah and Winnifred were deeply grateful for the separation of the two pairs that allowed there to be peace in the two apartments.

***

Six years it has been and the hatred did not cease. Perhaps, it grew-- or at least the maturity level of it increased-- which isn't much to say.

"Bucky Barnes, won't you just leave me alone!" You yelled at him when he followed you back from school. At thirteen, you didn't need a babysitter to walk you back to the apartment after the bus ride from school. His fifteen year old self mocked you from behind your back. "Such a jerk!" The words left your mouth like venom. The one time Rebecca and Steve were both sick, he decided to pester you the most, and both of your mothers wanted him to make sure you got home safe from school. "It's not like I want to," Bucky grumbled. "God, won't you go do something with Steve and get the hell away from me?" You growled. Bucky pressed you up against one of the brick buildings. His blue eyes starring into your soul, wanting to send it deep into the pits of hell. "Y/n, if I had that option, I would. Now, just stop complaining and get home." His height was beginning to tower yours. "Fine," you huffed and ducked under his arm to continue on your route. Somehow, your brother was best friends with the most annoying boy in the neighborhood, and no one else hated it as much as you did. Your mother grew to adore him as her own son. It basically led to him never leaving your apartment or dining table, which led to Barnes's home to become an escape for you. The hallway is a no man's land that neither of you were caught in besides entering and exiting the two apartments.

At age 17, you sighed as you got off the bus from coming home from grabbing medicine and a few other grocery items for your sickly brother. The sporadic lit street light led your way home. You looked down at your clacking shoes, counting the steps you made to distract yourself from the cold and the thoughts that could enter a young woman's mind while walking alone on the street at night. You counted louder in your head when you heard voices that you didn't want to understand or hear. Be as that might be, hearing more footsteps that were not yours could not make focusing and counting steps easy. Fingertips grazed your bicep, causing you to trip off the sidewalk and land on your hands and knees. The materials in your bag now flung elsewhere You tried scattering up, but when you turned around, you froze in fear at the stranger in front of you. He was starting to walk close to you and saying something before rapid steps and punches were exchanged in a blur of movement.

Then, one of the blurs left and the other came into focus in front of you. The unwelcomed face became a pleasant one. "Bucky!" You breathed an exhale. His strong yet soft hands lifted you up from your stunned state. "Are you okay?" His voice was caring and gentle. "Y-yes," you confirmed, trying to steady yourself on your feet. "C'mon, let's get you home." He started to guide you in the direction. "Steve's medicine, I dropped it." You were a muttering mess in front of him, pointing in the direction of where you fell. "Stay here," His hands on your shoulders, like setting you in place before quickly snatching the med bottle in his coat pocket. "Alright, let's go, I gotcha." Bucky led you home.

"Thank you, Bucky. I-I-" Bucky interrupted you as the pair of you made it to the landing. "You don't need to thank me, Y/n." You simply nodded and then motioned to his coat pocket, "Steve still needs those." Your old nemesis delicately placed them in your palm. "Take care of yourself," he spoke and walked to his apartment.

The energy between the two of you would change after this night. It took about six months for a complete one-eighty change.

Now, the hallway that separated the two apartments would be a no man's land anymore. Quite the opposite, actually. You felt your feet start to tremble when Bucky kissed you at the apartment door. "We can't let anyone know," you whispered as you broke the kiss. "Oh, not a soul," he whispered back and kissed you again. "I mean it, Bucky. Not even my brother." You scolded him. "Never, doll." He confirmed before planting his lips onto yours. "Alright, I should go before someone catches us," Bucky whispered and started to take the twelve feet to his apartment. You quickly followed him and stopped him to exchange another act of affection. "Yes, you should go...it's getting late." He took a step down to be on the same as you. "Go to bed, my Y/n doll," he planted a kiss on your forehead, "dream of me." You blushed, "As long as you dream of me, James." He stroked your cheek and took his final departure. You leaned up against the hallway wall for a moment to calm down before going back into your apartment.

"You're late," Steve mentioned from his chair in the corner by the lamp. Your body jolted as you softly closed the door. "Jesus, Steve," you hissed and pressed your hand to your heart, "do you want to give me a heart attack?" He closed his book and stood from his spot. "Just come home on time. Mom was worried." Guilt rose in you as your brother began to trudge to bed. "Hey Steve," he stopped and turned to you, "don't worry Bucky walked me home." It wasn't a complete lie and the statement lessened the guilt. "Good to hear you're finally getting along." He stated with a smile and goes to bed.

***

You walked out of the apartment door, only for Bucky to swiftly pulled you over his shoulder and in five seconds, his apartment door magically sprung open and shut before Bucky put you down, his lips pressed deeply onto yours, making you pressed up against the door. "Bucky Barnes, what have gotten into you?" You giggled. He pressed his index finger to your lips. "Do you hear that?" You noticed the absence of the other Barnes family members. "What are you talking about?" You whispered in the silence. "We're here all by ourselves, Y/n doll." He grinned and pressed on another kiss. The pair of you stopped, starring into each other eyes without the desire to punch each other.

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storywriter007 · 4 months ago

Note

Thank you for answering my other two requests, I loved them!! I have two more if you are interested!

1) Can you do a Percy Jackson x reader (I'm imagining this occurring on the Argo II) that's basically an enemies to friends to lovers? Where maybe they both just don't really like each other based on the encounters they've had, but then end up going on a small quest off the ship just the two of them and some sort of trauma happens that makes them friends, and then you can decide how they get to lovers from there! Basically just want some angst!

2) This one has a little bit of a trigger warning with suicidal thoughts, so I understand if you don't want to write this one. Percy Jackson x reader (this one I'm also envisioning on the Argo II, but this one could also be just at camp when Percy is like 17) where they are good friends and the reader is struggling mentally but tries to smile for everyone else, but she is sitting alone in the woods at some point holding her knife to her wrist just kind of thinking about it but not sure about it, but then Percy appears to check on her and scares her so the accidentally slips and cuts herself there, and from there basically Percy comfort. Idk if that made sense but basically Percy angst and comfort.

You're amazing!!! 🩷

Friends? - Percy Jackson x Fem!Reader

author's note: this is request one. thank you for your request :) i kind of had to cut it short bc this was getting too long.

warnings: cursing, mentions of suicide, betrayal, mentions of death, battle scenes, kissing

genre: angst ending in fluff

word count: 1.8k

-> heroes of olympus masterlist

✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒

send me requests here! (these are my guidelines)

✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒

y/n took her seat at the table alongside seven other demi-gods. she noticed percy scowl at her and she rolled her eyes back at him. they'd never gotten along. and chances were, they never would.

her intense hate for the son of the sea god had begun a few summers back during capture the flag. they were on the blue team, and she was assigned to offense with annabeth and percy. suddenly, four members from the red charged at the trio, swords in hand. y/n and percy swung and slashed at two of them until they fled. one of them yanked off annabeth's invisibility cap and decided she was their next victim. the other one came for y/n, hitting her ankle hard. percy was quick to defend annabeth and run away with her.

but he left her. y/n was left to fight two members of the opposing team, who were merciless. they were violent, they were twice her size, and to y/n's dismay, her ankle didn't provide her any support to run away. it was a terrible and cruel beating. the two kept going even when they didn't need to. she could barely see by the end of it. y/n remembered that capture the flag game as "don't trust your teammates."

ever since then, y/n had made her distaste for percy clear. everyone admired his loyalty, until they were on the receiving end of his betrayal.

"we need to find a map." annabeth started.

"it's our key to finding out which way is the safest to go." jason explained. "it's somewhere in the woods, according to what hecate told hazel."

"we're going to have to split up." annabeth continued. "it's a huge forest, and we need to cover ground efficiently."

"i've split you guys up. i don't want to hear any whining." jason said, looking at the group, but his gaze lingered longer on percy and y/n. "annabeth, piper, and i are going eastwards towards the mountains. frank, leo, and hazel are going south to the rest of the woods. percy and y/n will head north, towards the shore."

"why is it 3-3-2?" hazel asked curiously.

"because we need a power balance." annabeth said politely. "it's matched with each person's strengths."

"strengths?" percy chuckled. "i'm the strength. she's going to slow me down."

douchebag, y/n thought.

"i don't want to go with you either, but i'm not bitching about it, am i?" she snapped back.

"you don't have to bitch because going with me does you a favor."

"i'd rather drown."

"lucky you, i can make that happen."

they stared at one-another in an intense fury.

"we'll meet here again in four hours." jason instructed. "and when we do, all eight of us better be here." he said, eyeing percy and y/n.

✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒

it was already eight. and they had to search the stupid northside until midnight. she couldn't even run away if she wanted to.

they continued walking. the sun slowly set as the night sky arose. the woods looked scary at night. tall, thick trees hovered over the two demi-gods as strange creatures and noises came by. after what felt like a long time walking, y/n could hear the sea.

"do you hear it?" she asked him.

"i can feel it." he said, walking quickly.

she trailed behind him as they reached sandy terrain. the sea was dark and terrifying. y/n and percy searched the shore for what felt like another eternity.

suddenly, it got colder and y/n heard a voice. it was a sweet, soft voice.

look at me it whispered.

"do you hear that?" she asked percy.

"yeah." he said, shakily.

look at what you've done it demanded.

suddenly, y/n was watching something in front of her. it was a battle. she looked at the gory scene in front of her. it took her a minute to realize it was the battle of manhattan. she felt a lump in her throat as images of dead campers raced through her mind. silena, charlie, ethan, and luke.

this is your fault the voice said, but it wasn't sweet anymore. it was hoarse, raspy, and cruel.

look at what you've killed. look at what you've brought it continued.

the images flashed terrible battle scenes. it replayed deaths of each and every camper.

you did this the voice yelled.

"n-no, i didn't." y/n whispered, shaken by the images.

look at what you've done

"i didn't do it!" she pleaded.

you did! you did it all!

"i had no choice." she said, tears spilling from her eyes.

terrible, tortuous images kept playing. the deaths of the campers she'd grown up with, the reactions of their mothers and fathers, and the destruction that had been caused.

you deserve to die.

"i know." she whispered. "don't you think i know?"

do it the voice encouraged. do what you should've done years ago.

y/n tried to think through it. this voice, this voice wasn't human.

do it.

it was a siren. it was trying to get her to sacrifice her life.

"no." she said, standing her ground. "i did what i had to. i can't be blamed for it."

then who can you blame?

"kronos." she said, gripping her sword.

the siren showed it's demented face and y/n quickly slashed it. she snapped out of her trance, and the images faded and so did the voices. she turned to see percy holding his sword to his neck. she saw the twisted siren circling around him. she swiftly ran up to him and took his sword from his hand, before slashing the siren. percy too snapped out of his daze, and stumbled a little. y/n caught him, and looked up to meet his sea green eyes. they were teary, and he looked so disheartened.

"you saw it too." she confirmed.

he nodded.

"thank you." he said, his voice low and sincere. "i would've done-well you know what, if you hadn't saved me."

she nodded.

"we should probably get back to the ship." he said quietly.

✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒

when percy and y/n got back, it was half-past midnight, and everyone was already there.

"we ran into sirens." y/n briefly explained.

they all nodded as the ship entered the air, sailing to its next location.

"we found the map." hazel informed. "goodnight guys."

✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒

y/n tossed and turned in her bed. she couldn't get those images out. those dam sirens. she needed to talk to someone. someone who would understand. she sat up and opened her door. she trailed the hallway until the came across the door that read percy jackson. she lightly knocked before pushing the door open.

"couldn't sleep either?" he asked, laying down and staring at the ceiling.

"yeah." she said. "i can't get what the sirens showed me out of my head."

"c'mere." he said, patting the area next to him.

y/n laid down next to him.

"i know it's not our fault." he said quietly. "but it feels like it is."

"i know." she said softly. "it's like i should've done something. but there was nothing to be done."

"exactly." he said. "on one hand, i know i couldn't have saved them no matter what i did. but on the other, i feel like i should've figured it out."

"mhm." she agreed. "they were good people. that's what makes it hurt more."

"they didn't deserve death. and i don't deserve the hero title." he chuckled. "i let them die."

"you had no choice." she reminded.

"did i?" he questioned.

"percy, i saw and heard the same things you did. it just wanted to get in our heads." she explained. "and they did it through guilt. guilt that isn't ours to carry. it's kronos'."

"you're right." he agreed.

y/n had spent years hating him. but maybe, just maybe, he was alright. they had both seen the same things growing up. the same wars, deaths, and betrayals. in an odd way, she felt almost identical to him.

a few moments of silence passed by before y/n realized percy had fallen asleep. and after a few more minutes, she felt herself drift off as well.

✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒

the next morning when y/n awoke, percy was already awake.

"morning." he smiled.

"oh dear god." she said, sitting up. "what time is it?"

"it's five-thirty. and i'm sorry." he said, sitting up as well.

"for what?"

"for how i treated you all these years." he exhaled, as if this was something he'd been meaning to get off his chest. "i'm sorry for leaving you in capture the flag."

"so you did know what you were doing, huh?" she retorted.

sure, the cuts and scars from that beating had been healed a long time ago. but, the betrayal never did.

"i didn't know you." he explained. "i didn't care about you. i just wanted to get annabeth to safety. that was wrong of me. you were on my team, i should've helped."

"'sorry' and 'i should've' doesn't fix anything. we're not best friends because we got along for a day." she said bitterly. "i know for a fact you would've left me in the woods the way you did all those years ago."

"that's not fair y/n." he frowned. "i would never do that to you."

"and you get to decide what's fair now?" she chuckled. "are you forgetting you continued tormenting me instead of swallowing your pride and apologizing?"

"i-"

"that's the thing about your loyalty, jackson. everyone admires it until they're on the receiving end of your betrayal." she said coldly, getting up.

"y/n, you might not trust me today, hell, you might not trust me for the rest of our short lives. but believe me when i say, from the bottom of my heart, i'm sorry."

"how do i know you're never going to do the same thing again?" she asked.

get got up and moved closer to her. he was practically towering over her. she felt her back hit the wall.

"you have my word." he promised, looking at her eyes.

she nodded in agreement, feeling herself breathe heavily being this close to him. she could feel him leaning in, and she did too. their lips pressed against one-anothers in a passionate kiss. his hands were placed on her waist, and her arms snaked around his neck. he tasted like salt and blue frosting. she felt herself get pushed backwards towards the wall as he continued to kiss her. it grew more passionate and ferocious until they both pulled away. she rested her head underneath his.

"friends?" he asked.

"we just made out. we are not friends." she laughed.

"i thought it was too bold to say lovers."

"lovers." she agreed.

✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒

hope you liked it :) sorry for the wait!

#angst #heroes of olympus #heroes of olympus x reader #percy jackson #hoo x reader #pjo #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson x y/n #percy jackson x reader angst #percy jackson angst #percy jackson x reader fluff #percy jackson fluff #percy jackson and the olympians #fluff #percy jackson x you

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joenotexotic99 · 11 months ago

Note

Idk if you're still making this, but I want to let you know that we're waiting for BoB Lovetropes p2. My suggestions: Toye, Eugene, Malarkey, Guarnere, Luz, Sobel. Hope you're doing okay <3

A/n: I've been dealing with some stuff lately and now finally have a little time to catch up on old stuff. I also want to apologize anon I couldn't bring myself to soble. Sorry couldn't do it.

-Warnings: fluff, tiny bit of language, got wayyy to carried away with malarkey’s, oops. Might have to turn that into its own thing, if it's not already. Luz is slightly spicy, nothing crazy but you cant miss it.-

Masterlist

Joe Toye

-grumpy vs sunshine trope. Omggggg, the idea of this has me kicking my feet and giggling. Joe Toye is rough around the edges, tough skin. You on the other hand have always been the positive one, keeping the people around you spirits high. Being an optimist of sorts. Maybe not cheerful but you could definitely make someone's day. Yet behind his grumpy facade, he can't help but notice your unwavering optimism. He wasn't opposed to love; he just never expected to be swept off his feet so quickly by one person. Your personality was anything but the same. Never in a million years did he think he was going to fall in love with a bright and shiny person, which was the exact reason why he loved you so much. You two were like night and day. You were the beacon of light in all the darkness. I feel like Toye would also be super protective over you. Kinda the same vibe as liebgott. But that's for another time.

“Is that a smile I see on your face toye?” “I'm one lucky bastard you realize that?”

Eugene roe

-office romance/forced proximity. I didn't exactly know what to call this one. Both you and roe are easy company medics. Gene from the start, harbord a crush on you. And mean big time crush. Thinking about you he got butterflies in his stomach. You both spent significant time together. Typically the only times you were separated is when you were attending to fellow paratroopers. Bastogne was a turning point. You were in a jeep headed to the church, your hand and a cloth being the soul thing keeping a man alive. You almost made it before the church burst into flames. When Gene heard what happened he got the first ride possible to bastogne. When he saw you, hand now on a clearly dead man, he took you into his arms. He brought you back to the Adrennes forest. As usual you spent the night in genes fox hole the only difference was you both saw what was right in front of you for the first time and kissed. It wasn't until Austria where he gave you a promise ring where he promised to spend and devote the rest of his life with you.

“you make me the happiest man you know that y/n?”

“Tell me that again at our wedding”

Donald Malarkey

-friends to lovers? Maybe a sprinkle of enemies to lovers?? I don't know but here me out. So you join the paratroopers as a female, the reason you got in was from connections in the army. Seeing how even if you are the most talented female there is, it's still the 40s here. I wouldn't think that the Toccoa men would flat out bully you, but would more just not believe in you. Probably leave you out of a lot of things. Kind of just pretend you weren't there. But not malarkey. He saw something in you that the rest didn't. Honestly he was shocked to see how they treated you. You were the best paratrooper there was in this company. You stood your ground. You met and exceeded in all categories. Passed each test with flying colors. You also were able to do it with the most incredible smile. As much as you disliked it, he stood up for you. Complimented and congratulated you when you did well. You really liked him. He was cute, kind, and not a douche wad. But sadly, most guys here if they weren't mean, they were trying to get Into your pants. As much as you wouldn't mind that with malarkey, you weren't here for that. One day in Aldbourne England you had enough. You weren't going to get swooned into bed and he had to know it. When you had a spare moment you grabbed him and pulled him aside and told him to stop. He was bewildered that this is how you perceived him. He explained to you that was not his intention. You could hear the sincerity of his voice. He meant it. This was the start of your friendship. You both were like a thing but not? Kinda a situationship. But it wasn't official until Haguenau. The effects of war painted across your faces. In one of the houses you laid in one of the beds, trying for the hundredth time to get some rest to no avail. He came and found you. There was little and a lot to say. Instead he kissed you. The past two years of friendship melted instantly into a lifetime of love.

“god i've wanted you to do that for a long time”

“What happened to ‘I'm not here for a relationship’?”

“shut the fuck up and kiss me again would ya”

William Guarnere

-Enemies to lovers. Come on, this is so perfect. Guarnere is a natural bully. He bullies everybody all the time, but you? He loves bullying you. He always has an insult special for you up his sleeve. However, that's a lie. He hates it to his core. You are the sweetest person ever. All he wants to do is not bully you. He's somewhere in the middle of liebgott and Speers. He doesn't want to be seen as weak. He has this demnor he feels the need to uphold and that everybody around him expects. Not some ooey gooey man. Even though if he could he'd probably worship you. You were perfect in his eyes. He hates himself more and more but the more he digs himself into this hole the harder it is for him to get out. He finally cracks when someone else makes a particular mean stab at you one day at a bar in holland. He can hate himself all he fucking wants for bullying you. But somebody else is doing it? Hurting you? Not going to happen. He breaks his nose, jaw, maybe a rib or two, black eye and busted lip, all before he could get ripped off this guy. You get wind of this later. Within minutes you're confronting him. Before he shuts you up with a kiss.

“I thought you hated me”

“Hate you? No, For fuckes sake sweetheart, I'm in love with you”

George Luz

-meet cute. You originally met just before you signed up to be paratroopers. And I mean just before. You were getting blood work done to test how fit you were to fight. As you waited in the lobby to fill out paperwork, you went to reach for your pen. That's when you realized it wasn't there. It just so happens that a very cute guy next to you had an extra with him. You quickly filled the paper and exchanged names and conversations. On the way home you couldn't get him out of your head. So couldn't he. Later when you were assigned to easy company you found the one and only George luz. The same extremely handsome guy at the clinic. He immediately recognized you. How could he not? Your face and laugh had been at the front of his thoughts a lot lately. You tried to keep both of your composure during Toccoa seeing how you didn't want to get into any trouble. But that all fell apart after one weekend with a pass and some alcohol. Kisses were shared, clothes were shed and hands roamed. After that night you made it official. Luz also started writing his vows.

“you know I've never felt this way before”

“What the sex or me? Because If it wasn't the sex let me know so we can go again”

“both luz, but I can't turn that offer down now can I”

#band of brothers #band of brothers fanfic #band of brothers headcanon #band of brothers x reader #joe toye x reader #eugene roe x reader #Donald Malarkey x reader #george luz x reader

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acewitch-writes · 11 months ago

Text

As a self-appointed canon Remus defender, I agree that Remus can be angry. It would be insane to suggest that a human being is incapable of expressing the perfectly natural human emotion of anger.

But the issue arises from turning that anger into a defining character trait, or when his anger isn't balanced and nuanced. If belittling/insulting his friends or exploding with rage is Remus' first instinct in any difficult situation in a fic, then he is OOC. Which may be suitable depending on the AU! I have written him with an angry streak myself, I'm not opposed to the idea of letting Remus be angry. But we should at least be able to acknowledge that this is OOC for Remus, who rarely expressed outward anger even in some very stressful situations.

My main qualm with atyd in particular is the fact that it touts itself as "canon compliant", eeeeexcept for the tiny fact that the main character's entire backstory was dramatically changed, which in turn affected his entire characterization. The fic even made a point to skip over every established canon scene because it would have made it very clear that atyd Remus and Canon Remus have little in common (except one scene briefly in the Shack where Remus uses special werewolf powers to read Sirius' mind to work out the whole secret keeper switch, using the very same technique that Sirius' mother often used to abuse him, this being their FIRST INTERACTION after 12 years apart, but I digress)

Atyd Remus is an OC with the same name who, yes, has some anger issues, and is nuanced and incredibly well-written, but he is NOT Remus and at no point throughout the story becomes Remus. The part that really sealed the deal for me was when Dumbledore arrived to invite Remus to teach at Hogwarts, and Remus was openly hostile and rude to this man that, canonically, is Remus' personal hero and infallible moral compass. ("Well, he's not my fucking brother.")

I also strongly disliked the way Sirius was scapegoated heavily at the end, made to apologize to Remus and grovel for his affection after spending 12 years in Azkaban while Remus was living a rather cozy life in comparison with his muggle lover in the flat that Sirius paid for. I remember waiting for Remus to apologize too, AND HE FUCKING NEVER DID

Disclaimer: I enjoyed atyd as a standalone AU with canon elements. It was beautifully written and the author clearly put so much time, effort, and love into writing it. I honestly really liked Remus in it, I just can never see him as superior to my beloved Canon Remus and I hate this fandom for bullying those of us who chose not to canonize a popular fanfic.

#i try to avoid openly criticizing atyd on here but I felt like I needed to elaborate on my “canon Remus wasn't angry” post #atyd critical #if fandom is going to use this fic as their source then we should be allowed to discuss it #I enjoyed atyd when I read it but I can't ignore the way it has erased Canon Remus from the marauders fandom #my fics get hate comments for building Remus based on canon traits bc this fandom canonized an ooc fic #I'm honestly scared to post this but fuck it #remus lupin #canon Remus defender #fanon vs canon

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wordy-little-witch · 8 months ago

Text

Okay time to project~

Cross Guild poly info, but I'm gonna focus specifically on interdynamics because I freaking adore them and as someone polyamorous myself, it's super important to have and foster connections one on one and by and large.

Let's begin!

CrocoHawk

• they have had a mutual respect for one another for years prior to falling into orbit of each other. Mihawk always found Crocodile's no nonsense attitude to be wonderful and Croc in turn found Mihawk's unapologetic authenticity to be refreshingly real. They really went from acquaintances to friends to lovers pretty smoothly.

• they both enjoy quality time as their preferred dates, either something parallel where one reads and another practices something or they attend something like an opera or an event with minimal socialization with others.

• Crocodile cannot cook, but he is a decent prep assistant so some moments between them are in the kitchen with music playing and it's quiet and peaceful.

• they're both very hard headed and set in their ways. They're also opinionated. Sometimes this makes them a force to be reckoned with as a united front. Sometimes it means they fight like cats and dogs.

• they both take a very long time to come around to the idea of being a unit as opposed to two small islands with a little bridge between, but once they do, they are COMMITTED.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

CrocoBug

• They knew of one another prior to Roger's execution. Crocodile was on Whitebeard's crew specifically which occasionally crossed the Rogers. He had seen Buggy around a few times and never understood the appeal until one evening after a friendly battle, during the feast, when Buggy walked right up to Roger, handed him a small bottle with a tiny scowl, and said "your chest is crying again, you didn't take your medicine." Roger laughed it off, complied, and sent the angry boy on about his evening. When asked about it, Roger laughed brightly, explaining that he'd caught a bug a few islands back, Buggy and Crocus were being overly protective, and the kid's observation haki was off the charts, even by his standards. If Buggy says he hears something, Roger tells them proudly, you'd damn sure better listen. Crocodile ends up looking over, trying to steal glimpses of this young child who earned such regard from such a man as Roger.

• they go years without seeing one another, though Buggy did have a bit of a puppy love crush on Croc when he was young. It eventually petters out, and they are tangentially aware of the other in a vague sense. It isn't until Impel Down that they are pushed into proximity again. Crocodile was uncaring at best in the beginning - and then there was a damn near revolt on the stolen ship, he was preparing to go on the offensive, and Buggy - enigmatic, long haired, cowardly (?) Buggy - stomps it out faster than Croc could fathom. It is then, seeing the glint of calculation behind fiery blue eyes, that he begins to Think.

• nowadays, they are together, and their preferred time together is usually parallel engagement. Croc will do his paperwork and report reviews while Buggy works on trade routes, navigation, ciphers and his weapons stores. The Guild expands rapidly with many offers of sponsorship or partnership as they extend their horizons beyond general bounty assignments.

• Buggy sings to himself while he's working, a soft little thing where his voice pours over words and melodies like honey. Croc gets to used to it that sometimes doing his work without the background noise leaves him antsy and bored. He's embarrassed to admit it.

• Buggy meanwhile begins to associate the scent of Croc's cigars with productivity. You know that saying, some folks wind you up and others calm you down? That's the poly ship, but Croc and Buggy wind each other up.

• they both have formidable tempers. Usually it doesn't ignite on each other - Buggy out of mild fear and desire to not fuck it up - but when they do explode on each other? Oooh, it can get WILD.

• the make up afterwards is equally if not more so.

• Crocodile is the one to bring up to Buggy questions about his mental health. It's not to be mean, but he poses it as a "I once had this business partner who did X, Y, Z things, you remind me of them a lil bit. You good?"

• Buggy's all over the place and needs near constant assurance that he is loved in a way that makes sense to him. He will not ask for it because he's both embarrassed by it and also terrified to be denied outright. Luckily Crocodile doesn't pull punches. Words are not his strong suit, but his affection and care are shown in other ways that Buggy learns to know.

• on Bad Days for either of them, Buggy demands snuggles. He's a cuddly person by nature, and he can usually convince Crocodile to at least humor him in that. His baby doll eyes are a lethal weapon, and so he'll climb Croc if the other is busy or will drag the other off to pull him down on top of him, tuck the other's head on his chest over his heart, and will play with black-violet hair, singing, chattering or simply breathing. It's good for them both.

• they also bond over the fruitwanis. Buggy adores animals, loves them so much, and the fruitwani are no exception. He enjoys learning about their care, likes learning in general, especially when it's important to him or interesting. Crocodile is happy to share something he loves so dearly with a person he loves as well. ((His biggest act of devotion, respect and care is when he gifts Buggy his own 'wani. The reptile hatched differently from the rest, either smaller than average or with an odd coloring scheme or something else. Crocodile took one look at the baby wani and thought "Oh, my clown would love you." The idea remained for a good deal of time. Survival of newly hatched wanis is finicky, so the idea remained until he knew this one was likely to live, to survive and thrive with the right care. He trusts Buggy with that care. The trust is not lost on Buggy when Croc gives him the lil one))

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

HawkBug

• while they don't seem to mesh at first glance, these two actually compliment each other nicely. Buggy matches the energy around him when he isn't in a position or role to perform. This can lead to cute moments, soft moments, and absolutely unhinged moments

• Mihawk has many bird like tendencies true to his moniker, but he also spent a lot of time with the humandrills and so has some more.... animalistic ape like habits as well that he hides more often than not. Chief among them is his version of a smile being more bared teeth and his habit of grooming others. It's acts of service and instinctive. He is thriving.

• on that habit by the way, he and Buggy are both autistic coded to me and I love the idea of them sharing in stimming and hobbies and special interests. Mihawk is No Thought Head Empty when Buggy is going absolutely insane over chemicals and synthesis and balancing equations. He enjoys seeing the clown so happily animated. He understands nothing other than Happy Clown, Happy Birb. Buggy likewise doesn't understand a lot of Mihawk's gardening but he loves seeing his swordsman boyfriend enjoy himself and stim while talking.

• speaking of stimming - Mihawk loves Buggy's hair. It's a good color, texture, look, thickness, weight, he is constantly fighting a battle to not just shove his hands into the hair 24/7. Buggy wouldn't mind at all, he likes having his hair played with usually, but Mihawk had a Reputation. Once the Guild calms a bit more and everyone relaxes into each other, he'll stim more freely with select people around beyond his boyfriends.

• Buggy has spent a lifetime trying to avoid some of his more notable stims in order to be taken seriously, so having Mihawk unapologetically saying "wait no tell me more" or "do what makes you feel best - you are most beautiful when you are happy" makes him SOAR with butterflies. Visual stimming absolutely is great, but he also loves vestibular and kinesthetic stimming. Aerials his beloved ♡♡♡

• stim dates stim dates stim dates

• speaking of dates: despite general ideas, Buggy's not always one to want big Flashy dates. Sometimes cooking dinner with Mihawk while they chat or play music or dance in the kitchen is the most rewarding to him. They usually wind up both laughing and pressing close and sharing kisses while making whatever recipe they decide on. Sometimes Mihawk will take point with a dish he knows well. Sometimes Buggy is the one in the lead. Regardless, it's usually a cozy affair with good food, better company, some drinks and cuddles near the end, all wrapped up with a good book or conversation.

• they both have a guilty pleasure for trashy romance novels, so sometimes they'll both read a book, have a lil book club about it and have fun discussing it, making fun of the wording or plot or characters, sometimes trying to figure out positioning in certain scenes and then absolutely losing it when they make eye contact either because of how ridiculous the posing is or because one made a stupid yet silly comment or one liner that sends the otherr into hysterics.

• Mihawk snorts when he laughs and Buggy loves getting it to happen.

#crocobug #hawkbug #crocohawk #one piece #buggy the clown #sir crocodile #dracule mihawk #polyamory #domestic pirate polycule #one piece headcanons

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heliads · 2 years ago

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Hii Lisa my beloved!💕💕 I'm in my Kaz phase again and some stupid ideas have been running through my head constantly. Hoping you could turn it into a wonderful fic, if you like the idea of course.

Kaz x reader with slight Nikolai x reader😌

So, reader is a Grisha with healing abilities (hidden like Alina). After a tragic event, the loss of their family hit hard and they were taken into care by some people that worked at the palace. That's where reader met Nikolai, they became best friends and later enrolled in Army, became lovers all of that. Reader's healing powers were slightly special in the sense that when they used them there was a golden glow all around, making the wrong people believe reader was a sun summoner. After being madly in love for some time, reader got kidnapped for their powers. Tortured for 2 years, reader was saved by our lovely Crows. Reader believed Nikolai never looked for them (false because he did desperately until he ran away and became Sturmhond after believing that reader died)

Reader becomes a Crow, falls in love with Kaz, they have a relationship for 2 years or so and then, one day they fight about something and right at that time, Nikolai makes his way to their bar. Reader and Nikolai have an emotional meeting that leaves Kaz insecure and jealous.

The ending...well I think reader should stay with Kaz buut I'm not opposed to something else👀

Whatever you want my dear Lisa. I hope this makes sense and it's not too insane. I love you and thank you💕

my beloved!!! this request is literally incredible, why are your ideas always exquisite????

masterlist

You don’t like it when Ketterdam is quiet. This jilted city of yours is always loud, always rowdy, and on the few instances in which it isn’t, the whole place seems to hold its breath, just waiting for something bad to happen. Sometimes you hear things you shouldn’t when there’s no background noise to cover it up. Sometimes, worst of all, you dream.

This dream is not a good one. You only know this after waking. The dream leaves quickly, as all dreams do, slipping back away under cover of night to haunt some other sleeper. You let it pool in your trembling hands, dripping out through your fingers despite your best attempts to stop it from abandoning you. It must have been a tumultuous dream indeed, because for a moment you thought you were back. Back in Ravka. Back with him.

Ravka is not yours anymore. It was, once upon a time, or so you let yourself believe. You were born in a small village near Adena, home mostly to craftsmen without merit and tradesmen with a fear of leaving their homes. It was a quiet, get-what-you-will existence for the most part, up until the point when you reattached a woman’s severed leg with a wave of your hand and discovered you were a Grisha.

Healers are valuable commodities in a war-torn nation, and you were shipped off to Os Alta before you knew it. It would have been lonely there in a city fiercely divided between Grisha and non-Grisha, were it not for the one friend you made there. A prince, of all people. A second son who wanted nothing more to run. Nikolai Lantsov.

You and Nikolai were just children when you met. It took years of close friendship for you to trust each other enough to fall in love, and even then, it was your best kept secret. Princes do not fall in love with witches. Grisha do not fall in love with mortal men. You kissed him behind locked doors and swore it would be enough for you, even if it wasn’t.

Perhaps it would have been, if Fate had been content to let you rest in mere complacency. There was one singular trait that separated you from the rest of the Corporalnik Healers at the Little Palace, one minor mark of difference. You can heal a patient just as well as anybody else, but for some reason, you glow when you do it. A warm, golden light emits from your palms whenever you use your gifts. His sunbeam, Nikolai used to call you.

Maybe people listened in too closely when they shouldn’t have. Maybe someone connected dots that didn’t exist. Maybe it’s just that in a country like Ravka, a country split by the Shadow Fold, a country in desperate need of Saints, it would be easy to overlook someone’s mortality in the hopes of discovering their own salvation.

That’s your best guess as to what happened to you. What you remember best is the aftermath, not the reason. You were taken from Os Alta in the dead of night, your hands bound in chains so you couldn’t fight or use your gift. You tried to scream, but they had a Squaller, a damned traitor, who stole the breath from your lungs before any sound could be heard.

They tortured you for two months, hoping you’d break and show that you really were the Sun Summoner they’d get paid to sell. It never happened, so they dug harder, cut you more, cared even less. You waited in dark and squalid rooms for someone to rescue you, someone like Nikolai, but no one came. No one Ravkan, at least.

You always wondered if you could put a time cap on the love of a prince. It turns out you can: four months and six days is all it took for Nikolai Lantsov to give up on you. You spent four months and six days waiting for him before hearing that he’d officially stopped mourning you in public to go to university, and the remainder of those two years in wondering how little he must have cared for you to give up just like that.

You have no doubt that your captors would have spent far longer than two pathetic years in trying to extract a Sun Saint from your exhausted spirit were it not for your rescuer. A far different savior than you expected, to be sure, far more bloodthirsty than any guardian angel you’ve ever heard about, but he did the job. He always does.

That’s Dirtyhands for you, you suppose, he gets what he wants. And if what he wants is a Healer at the low cost of having to break into a smuggler’s ship while it paused briefly in the Kerch harbor for supplies, so be it. Kaz Brekker was there for money and he was there for a new soldier to serve in his gang. You happened to fit both bills.

At first, you hadn’t known if you were actually safe or in even more danger than before. At least Kaz wasn’t torturing you outright– that was a start, wasn’t it? You didn’t trust him in the slightest at first, nor him with you. It took months of slow, apprehensive acceptance for that to happen.

It took longer for hesitant acquaintanceship to turn into friendship, and for friendship to turn to something more. Something like happiness. Something like the pure contentment of knowing that there is one person out there who would burn the whole world down if you were ever hurt. Nikolai mourned you for an appropriate time, but if the roles were reversed and you were in Ketterdam when you were kidnapped, Kaz would never accept your loss.

He’s all but told you this himself. There was one instance in your first six months of being in the Barrel when another Grisha hunter decided you would make decent prey. You were only an hour later than expected, but ten men were killed and a pleasure house burnt to the ground by the time Kaz got you back. You never feared getting taken again. You think he’s quite proud of that, even if he’ll never admit it to a living soul. Only the dead tell no tales.

So the Barrel is your home, so bloody kruge becomes your daily bread and butter. You wouldn’t want any other life. There is always the fear that you would someday lose that confidence, but you swore that time was over. Apparently not, though.

All that time spent learning to live again, and you still wake up in cold sweats, half sure that you’re back in your birth country and no better off than when you started. Kaz doesn’t deserve that. Your guilty conscience makes you want to beg his forgiveness, so you slip out of your room and up the stairs to his office without a second thought.

You know better than to think that Kaz Brekker would be asleep a few hours past dawn. You’re not entirely sure that he ever sleeps at all. It wouldn’t surprise you if he found a way to optimize his waking hours such that he never needed to close his eyes. Being able to capitalize on the time everyone else spent sleeping would certainly give him a leg up in the race of the Barrel rats.

Sometimes, when he’s feeling charitable, Kaz lets you heal him just a little bit, not the sort of injury reduction associated with broken bones but that of eliminating exhaustion. You’ve learned how to use your gifts without touching skin. Maybe that’s why he wanted your skills on his side in the first place, just in case.

The door creaks slightly when you come in. It is well within Kaz’s powers to oil the dratted thing, but you think he likes the sound. It serves as a warning of an intruder if he needs one, a reminder that he is no longer alone. It tells him that you are here now, and he looks up from his seat at his desk. The only sign that these aren’t normal working hours for anyone else is the slight dishevelment of his appearance, dark hair falling haphazardly over his eyes from being frustratedly pushed out of the way one too many times, his clothes rumpled and jacket removed.

“Couldn’t sleep?” He asks.

“Could you?” You return.

Kaz rolls his eyes. “I don’t need sleep.”

“Of course you do,” you say matter-of-factly, “You’re still human, Kaz, despite your best efforts to turn yourself into a machine.”

“I think it would be less productive to be a machine,” Kaz muses as he considers the stacks of ledgers before him, “think of the rust. Also, I don’t trust any gadget not to break down when you need it most.”

You snort, closing the door behind you and walking to the window behind his desk. “Machines aren’t the only ones breaking down all the time. People do that too.”

Your voice trails off on your last sentence, and Kaz cuts off his stare with his ledgers, turning his chair to face you. When he speaks again, his tone is gentle. It would surprise anyone but you.

“You’ve had another nightmare about Ravka again, haven’t you?”

You deliberate over your words, opting instead to perch on Kaz’s window seat and draw your legs up to your chest. He already knows the answer, anyway. “Yes,” you reply at last.

Kaz nods once. “It’s not real. The dream.”

You laugh bitterly. “I know that. I just hate the way I keep thinking about that place. It makes me feel weak.”

Kaz frowns. “You’re not weak. If you were, I never would have hired you.”

You can’t stop a faint grin from flitting across your face. “So romantic, Kaz.”

“Isn’t it?” He asks.

You glance at him over your shoulder and register genuine bewilderment on your face. To Kaz, you suppose, that is the height of romance after all. A true validation of your worth, a promise that you are enough.

It makes you smile. “You’re right,” you decide, “it is. It’s good to know my position is safe.”

“You’re safe,” Kaz repeats. He stands, walking over to the window. He doesn’t lean against you, but you can feel the exhale of his breath on your shoulder, the ghost of the touch you will never force him to give. “I will make sure of it.”

The two of you stare out the window at the rising sun. A new dawn is coming, bringing with it a new day, new surprises. Some of those surprises, as it turns out, will be far more shocking than you could have ever envisioned.

You’d like to say that you recovered from your nightmare pretty quickly after that, and you did collect your wits, but the jittery feeling stays with you well into the evening. You decide to stop by the Crow Club once dusk sets in, both as a favor to Kaz and for yourself. Once you do your usual perusal of tables, only having to point out one particularly gifted cheater to the guards, you allow yourself to drift over to the bar and order your favorite drink.

You see Jesper briefly in between rounds of Makker’s Wheel and talk idly for a few moments before he drifts off again. The Crow Club, albeit one of the fastest places in Kerch for money to leave your pockets, still feels like home to you. The rowdy hubbub, the dim lights, all of it is yours and has been for some time now. The Barrel is not safe, but this is Kaz’s place, and that means you never feel threatened so long as you’re within its walls.

Maybe that’s why you don’t register the new presence until it’s too late to run. The thought that the young man standing before you could ever be here at all is utterly bewildering. This is the Barrel, this is your mess of dingy canals and hopeless cases. What reason could Nikolai Lantsov possibly have to bring him down these parts?

You blink and he’s standing there staring at you like he’s seen a ghost. All the cockiness drains from his step as his jaw unapologetically drops. It is loud in here, but you swear the volume drops just long enough for you to hear him with perfect accuracy as Nikolai whispers:

“Y/N?”

He says it like a prayer delivered by a dying man, every syllable infused with impossible hope. You don’t respond, but something in your expression must confirm his question anyway. Either that or your face has changed so little in the five years since you saw him last that Nikolai can recognize you anyway, even in the smoke-filled haven of the Crow Club.

He draws forward by impulse, steps quickening the closer he gets to you. In all honesty, you have no idea what he is about to do, nor how you would respond, so you find yourself unquestionably grateful when Kaz emerges out of nowhere to stand in between you and Ravka’s younger prince.

Nikolai pulls up short to avoid running into him. “Who,” Kaz says, voice low but cold as a blade, “are you?”

Nikolai’s gaze darts past Kaz to lock squarely on you. You find yourself answering in his stead. “This is Nikolai.”

You can’t see Kaz’s expression from this angle, but you can imagine the way his eyes must narrow anyway. “Nikolai from Ravka?”

“The very one,” Nikolai replies, a touch of that same bravado in his tone you remembered so well.

Kaz scoffs. “Impossible. How’d you cross the Shadow Fold, then, prince?”

Nikolai gestures to himself, and only now once the initial shock of seeing him is starting to fade away do you realize how absurdly he’s dressed. “I left Ravka when I thought Y/N died. I go by a different name now. Sturmhond.”

You laugh in spite of yourself, a high sound bordering almost on fright. “You became a pirate?”

“Privateer,” he corrects, and judging by the quick answer you’re guessing it’s the same knee-jerk response he gives to everybody.

Kaz shifts slightly, allowing you to see the glare he’s not bothering to hide. “And what are you doing in my city, privateer?”

Nikolai swallows hard. “I heard a rumor about a Healer. A Healer whose hands glowed when she saved someone’s life. I had to know.”

Kaz looks like he wants to physically cut the source of this information out of Nikolai’s throat, but you beat him to it. “Why would you care now? You never tried to find me.”

Nikolai’s eyes flash. “I tried every day until I heard you were dead. I mourned for months.”

“Heard,” Kaz comments, “you never found a body?”

“Obviously not,” Nikolai says, glancing towards you again, “Why didn’t you come back to Ravka, Y/N? Why didn’t you try to find me? I missed you. I loved you. I still do.” He holds out a hand to you. “My ship leaves in one week’s time. Come home with me.”

You find yourself flinching back. Since your first days on the shores of Ketterdam, you’ve long since learned to disguise any sign of weakness, but Kaz knows you well enough to look for signs of trouble in even your slightest of expressions.

The small catch of your breath now tells him all he needs to know regarding Nikolai’s offer. Kaz’s hands curl around his cane, causing the black leather to crease like skin. “Y/N is safe here, Lantosov. She doesn’t need your war-torn country.”

Nikolai’s brow furrows. “Who are you to speak for her?”

“I’m the one who actually saved her instead of giving up,” Kaz says simply, “I’m the one who gave her a home.”

Nikolai’s eyes flit to you again, and you nod. “I loved you, Nikolai, it’s true, but I moved on when you did. Ketterdam is where I belong. My time in Ravka is over.”

You see Kaz straighten up imperceptibly by your side. From the way he’d spoken to Nikolai, you hadn’t thought he harbored a shred of uncertainty regarding where you would want to go, but it appears that his worst fears were assuaged by you asserting that you wanted to stay with him.

Nikolai swallows hard. “I won’t blame you for wanting to come home.” Only myself, you can sense him mentally adding on. It is a shame that time has not robbed you of the ability to tell what he’s thinking.

“I already am home, Nikolai.” You tell him.

He nods and leaves without another word. You watch him go, and he does not look back. Nikolai has had quite a long time to mourn your absence. Tonight may have set him back a little bit, but you have no doubt that he will recover just as he did before.

“Thank you for staying,” Kaz murmurs when Nikolai disappears from the club.

“Thank you for fighting to keep me here,” you whisper back.

Kaz’s eyes are sharp when they meet yours. “I will always fight for you.”

That, you think, is the difference between him and Nikolai in the end. Nikolai will carry your memory with him wherever he goes, but Kaz would never allow someone to take you from him in the first place. He would go to war to keep you safe. In a way, you think he already has.

You have the perfect view of Fifth Harbor from Kaz’s office window. You wonder if he planned it that way, so he could see both who was entering his life and who was leaving it. The two of you stand and watch Nikolai’s ship leave for Ravka once more. You wondered if it would hurt to see a ticket back to your place of birth evaporate from between your fingers, but it doesn’t. It’s just like you told Nikolai, isn’t it? You are already home. There is no need to leave.

requested by @zaypay, i hope you enjoy!

grishaverse tag list: @rogueanschel, @deadreaderssociety, @cameronsails, @mxltifxnd0m, @retvenkos, @thatfangirl42, @amortensie, @story-scribbler, @gods-fools-heroes, @bl606dy, @auggie2000

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sisterofsomeone · 10 months ago

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SisterofSomeone's Masterlist!

Hiya! I'm SisterofSomeone, otherwise known as Caitlin. I'm 23 and am slowly coming back to into the world of fanfiction writing. So here is my very barebones masterlist, and some little insights into some fics I have planned, enjoy! If you would like to be added to my tag list just send me a message or comment on here, I’d be more than happy to add you 🥹💜

Just as a little warning, I won't write: full non-con (cnc and dub-con are allowed), minors, excessive gore, full incest (e.g. brother x sister, but step brother x step sister is cool with me), pregnancy scares/unplanned pregnancy, more may be added as I think of them and I always hold the right to not answer/write for whatever reason I want :)

Seventeen

Choi Seungcheol

WIP: Seeing You After All This Time - Summary: Seungcheol, that gummy smiled, annoying boy you grew up with would always have your heart. Even if it seemed like he didn’t want it anymore. Warnings: idol!Seungcheol x idol!fem!reader, lovers to exes to lovers, angst, fluff, mentions of depression/insomnia, mentions of self-harm/self-harming behaviour, references to disordered eating, bodyweight comments (but no actual numbers), swearing, established relationship, (more will be added as the series goes on!)

Yoon Jeonghan

WIP: In the Blind Spot - Summary: You’re Seungcheol’s little sister. Innocent and sweet. He’s always said you’re completely off limits to all the boys. You’re 2 years younger than Chan for fucks sake, way too young for any of the rabble. But unbeknownst to him, you’re being hounded by some of his best friends. Just can’t let big brother find out you’re not exactly opposed to spending some ‘one on one’ time with them. Got to get the deed done in his blind spot. Warnings: idol!Chan x fem!reader, idol!Seokmin x fem!reader, idol!Jeonghan x fem!reader, idol!Mingyu x fem!reader, swearing, smut MDNI 18+,

Hong Joshua

WIP: The Three Musketeers - Summary: When the boys are on tour they like to wind down with some good food, good drinks, good music, and good company. So when you’re batting your eyelashes at them in the hotel bar, they know they’re in for a good evening. Warnings: idol!joshua x fem!reader x idol!Seokmin x idol!Jihoon, smut MDNI 18+, unprotected sex, pet names, foursome

Wen Junhui

nothing here yet sadly :(

Kwon Soonyoung

nothing here yet sadly :(

Jeon Wonwoo

Until Death Do Us Part - Summary: On a wedding day in Baldur’s Gate, a marriage is sealed with a sanctified bond. A powerful magic that allows your minds to meld and cannot ever be undone. It is also required to share your darkest secret for the bond to be bestowed. There is a common myth passed around that once, a very long time ago, a woman was tricked into marriage by a demon of sorts and only found out when they wed. Every wedding at that moment the room falls silent, waiting for another scream, another myth making secret to be revealed. You just never thought you would be witness to it. Series Warnings: Wonwoo x fem!reader, slight Seokmin x fem!reader (because I can't help myself), established relationship/situationship, angst, fluff, swearing, drinking, smoking, there are references to end game BG3 and spoilers for the whole game so please proceed with caution! smut MDNI 18+, unprotected sex, pet names (baby girl, pretty girl, princess), oral sex (male and female receiving), breeding kink, slight daddy kink, size kink, reader has a vagina that gets described as a pussy/cunt, slight dub-con for a second then clear consent, (more will be added as the series goes on!)

Lee Jihoon

Lee Seokmin

Self Destruction - Summary: Lee Seokmin. No words could describe your love for him, how your heart raced when he was near. But you two were growing apart, his eyes and hands wandering away from yours. Now you harboured a growing hatred for the man you once loved so dearly, and as much as you wanted it to stop growing, he just kept adding fuel to the fire. Warnings: toxic!Seokmin x toxic!fem!reader, slight Wonwoo x reader, established relationship, lovers to enemies to ???, ANGST!!!, swearing, cheating, smut MDNI 18+, unprotected sex, pet names (baby girl, pretty girl), oral sex (male receiving)

WIP: Friendzoned - Summary: Warnings:

Kim Mingyu

Xu Minghao

nothing here yet sadly :(

Boo Seungkwan

nothing here yet sadly :(

Chwe Vernon

WIP: Secret Player Two - Summary: You’re enjoying a solo, quiet night in while your boyfriend is away at Milan fashion week by playing your new favourite video game when there's a knock at the door. When you invite Vernon in to chill with you, you never imagined the effect a video game sex scene might have on your, well, frustrated new player two. Warnings: idol!Vernon x idol!fem!reader, swearing, cheating, smut MDNI 18+,

Lee Chan

WIP: Friendzoned - Summary: Warnings:

WIP: Little Miss Virgin- Summary: Your best friends Seungkwan and Jeonghan have always taken a weird pleasure in picking on you in front of the other members and watching you blush and panic. But one boozy night at Mingyu and Wonwoo's flat they push you a little too far and tell everyone your most embarrassing secret - you've never been kissed, never been wanted like that. The guys assure you that it's nothing to be ashamed of, "you'll find someone". But across the room a fire lights in Chan's stomach, and he needs to be your first. Warnings: idol!Dino x fem!reader, corruption kink, size kink, swearing, smut MDNI 18+,

Drabbles:

00:58 - chan fucks you in front of the guys

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naeisscore · 7 months ago

Text

The one that got away....

"Never planned that one day, I'd be losing you" [Reiner Braun x reader]

Content warnings: angst, hurt no comfort, modern au, high school sweethearts, songfics, war, death, strangers to lovers, lovers to strangers, regret

Inspired by Katy Perry's The One That Got Away

Word count: 10.9k

A/n: not proofread, posted this on 2019 Tumblr and wattpad (using a different pseudonym) and I decided to repost it again

♡ ㅤ⭒⠀♡ ⭒ㅤ𓈒ㅤ⭒⠀♡ ⭒ㅤ𓈒ㅤ⭒⠀♡ ⭒ㅤ𓈒ㅤ⭒⠀♡ ⭒ㅤ𓈒ㅤ⭒⠀♡ ⭒ㅤ𓈒ㅤ⭒⠀♡ ⭒ㅤ𓈒ㅤ⭒⠀♡

Summer after high school when we first met

It was one, sunny afternoon when you and your friends passed by your usual hang-out place. You just finished taking the final exams with Mikasa and Annie, and it drained the hell out of you. Being worn out from taking a difficult exam did take a toll on you when it comes to your mental health and well-being. For weeks, you stayed up all night to prepare for the examination and there were countless sleepless nights, meals that were skipped, and of course, a lot of procrastination and spacing out in your dorm room.

Life sucks and is unfair at the same time. Those two girls are gifted, and like, it's natural for them to be genius and extraordinary. While you, you're so, plain, normal. You need to work hard to keep up with them.

Whenever there's a group study, you notice that they never read too much. They read it one time, and that's it. They immediately learned the lesson and retained the information.

You, on the other hand, are pretty much of an average type of student.

As usual, you dropped your overrated type of cliche-college tote bag on the picnic table as you sat next to Annie. You sighed out of exhaustion, your head still hurt due to lack of sleep, and you felt your eyes sting a little.

"I'm going to order on the nearby coffee truck. You guys want something?" Mikasa asked.

"the usual, please." You said, taking a deep breath.

As Mikasa lines up to the nearby food truck, you stare into space out of the blue, imagining that you're rather in another dimension, in another life, where you're chasing the degree that you always like. Wondering what life would be like for you if you took arts and design instead of marketing.

Your world turned upside down on that specific sunny afternoon when Mikasa's boyfriend, Eren, showed up unannounced at the picnic table with several familiar people, but not familiar enough to be acquainted with. He had brought his football teammates right after they won a football match against the opposing university.

You've recognized some of them, which you usually see passing by the hallway, some were unfamiliar, while others were your childhood classmates from elementary school or middle school, the same school you went to with Mikasa and Annie.

The only person who was able to catch your attention was the guy who recently passed by, the guy who has an intimidating brusque statue with dirty blonde locks that match his chiseled features and that striking hazel eyes, those stupid brown eyes.

From the corner, you eyed the boisterous blonde, laughing with one of his friends, and a certain pair of brown eyes observed you from afar.

"Didn't expect our sweet y/n to check someone out, an airhead gorilla-like Reiner, really?!!" Sasha shouted, loud enough for everyone to hear. Your face reddened to the sudden announcement, embarrassed by it. Few of their teammates heard, you hoping your friends didn't, and Reiner himself.

But Eren did.

"What? I-I'm not even looking!" you deny her accusation, looking away from them, blushing from humiliation. You swear you will kill Sasha after this. And now, you're imagining the scenarios in your mind as you plot your revenge against her. Maybe give her with Cheese sandwich with mothballs in it or maybe steal her lunch box for a week, no, for a month, or prank her by replacing her food with food clays.

Her reaction would be hilarious, priceless indeed, and you should record it in 4k.

Unbeknownst to you, Eren was looking, from you to Reiner. A mischievous grin appeared on his face as if plotting something more embarrassing than what Sasha did.

He approached you suddenly, dragging you to a nearby table where their teammates sat.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing?" you asked, caught off-guard by his sudden action. You tried to pull away from his grasp, but he was too strong. You don't feel good about this at all, that humiliation from Sasha was enough for the day.

You knew Eren before, up until now. he had something planned on his sleeve based on his body language.

"What? I'm trying to introduce you to him!" He chuckled.

"The hell, Eren?! You're not gonna do that, gosh, this is so embarrassing---" Eren pushed you against Reiner, too much that you almost stumble from your balance, his broad back was facing you, but he glanced back once he felt you.

And Maybe due to his alertness and strong instinct, he had grabbed your arm on time, preventing you from falling to the ground.

"Oops.." Eren innocently scratches the back of his head as if he didn't do something intentionally. This brat doesn't fail to get on your nerves all the damn time either from his little prank or dirty tricks on his sleeves. If he wasn't only dating Mikasa, surely, you will beat the shit out of him one day.

"Oh, shit. I'm so sorry!!" You blushed madly, avoiding eye contact with him. you're embarrassed, plus, he was attractive as hell!

"Reiner, I'd like to introduce someone to you."You try to be as calm as possible, even making sure not to stutter a bit or tremble from a feeling of nervousness. but deep inside, you were screaming internally as Eren continued his introduction of you to one of his friends whom you've heard that he considered a brother figure.

"I'm y/n. It's nice to meet you." You tried your best to hide your anxiety from the man, who caught your eyes a while ago, making sure not to stutter in front of him.

"Reiner." He lent his hand to you, and nervously, you took it, shaking his warm hand against your small ones. Those hands were big and calloused due to him being an athlete. You noticed he was still holding your hand, delicately.

"Wanna go somewhere with me after this?" He asked.

"I would love that." You smiled.

At that moment, you realized that your hands fit perfectly as if it was made for each other. You didn't know that this little interaction would start something between the two of you.

We'd make out in your Mustang to Radiohead

"Do you know guys?! I saw Reiner and (y/n) making out in his Mustang last Friday night!"You almost choked on your soda drink as you sat in the bleachers with your friends, and you almost fell on your seat as you heard what Connie had just said. You were sure that everyone in the bleachers had heard what he said.

"Connie, you asshole!" You shouted, throwing his duffel bag at him in the field.

"whoa, (y/n), didn't know you have it in you!!" Sasha elbowed you, smirking as she teased you about your night rendezvous with Reiner.

"C'mere, you little shit. I'll smack that shaved head of yours." Reiner had chased him all the way to the football field as your friends burst with laughter, filling the whole field with waves of laughter and cheer as you all watched the meathead of a guy chase his unfortunate friend being head locked with muscles and biceps.

And on my 18th birthday, we got matching tattoos

"How about a Hello Kitty tattoo next time?"You revert your gaze from him to the new tattoo that you both got, freshly embedded in your skin, comparing the matching tattoo to his. It was a little tattoo of a pair of wings, which symbolizes the hope of freedom, you saw this symbol from Armin's history book which he kept telling you for years, that history book was passed down from generation to generation, and that astounding symbol was called the wings of freedom.

"Fuck no, I prefer Spongebob over kitty." You laughed at him as he messed up your hair. Hello Kitty was your favorite cartoon character when you were a child, so, imagining it on Reiner, and seeing it embedded in his brusque figure made you giggle a little bit. It will look adorable in cute to a giant of a man like him.

"Hey! That's so rude, she's my favorite!". You scowled at him.

Matching tattoos on your birthday was what you asked Reiner for your birthday, which he gladly accepted. It's a minimal detail of white and blue wings but it means a lot, yours was white, while he was blue. You had this thought that instead of both wings on the tattoo, you should split it instead, symbolizing that it will only be complete whenever you're together, like a missing piece of a puzzle, because that's what you both are, you're each other's missing piece, and Reiner knew that.

A match made in heaven, symbolizing that you'd have freedom whenever you're with him, that you two should never be apart, like a pair of wings, hope, and freedom.

Used to steal your parents' liquor and climb to the roof

"What the hell, Reiner? We shouldn't drink, we're not 18 yet!" You glared at him as you followed him to the roof outside his window, crawling beside him.

"My parents aren't here. come on, y/n! It's just a zip, so stop being a killjoy."

Just a zip, but it ended as a hangover.

Talk about our future like we had a clue

"How many children do you want to have?" Reiner looked in your direction as you prepared the food that you put in the basket. He was lying in the grass, looking at you as if you were the only person that mattered to him. His gaze soften to the thought.

Weeks ago, you persuade Reiner to go celebrate your 2nd anniversary with him on a picnic date, an intimate, afternoon date to which he gladly agrees.

"I don't know, haven't thought of that yet, it's too early though, but as long as it's with you, I'm okay with how many. How about you?" You shrugged your shoulders at him, unaware of what future awaits in the future.

"How about 12?"

"W-WHAT?!

"Were you planning to have your football team?!"

"Kind of" yeah, with a little mix of you and him running around.

Never planned that one day I'd lose you

"I need to tell you something." You glanced back at him as he walked beside you on the sidewalk, walking you back home as the sun began to set. As the most protective guy and responsible boyfriend, it's appropriate to walk you home.

"What?" You asked.

"I'm joining the military."

⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒

"Are we going to argue over this, again?" You both just got home from a family dinner with his family. As soon as you went home, you both started to argue over things that were said during dinner. He started to pinch the bridge of his nose due to stress, and the heat of words that was exchanged that night. He never avoids his gaze on you, but now, it's different.

Reiner began to avoid his gaze on you.

" You shouldn't have said that in front of my family in the first place. what are you even thinking?" He was talking about your encounter at the family dinner with the Brauns, with his family.

"And what, you want me to lie? You shouldn't enlist in the military." You said simply as you both approached your front porch, Reiner followed behind you as you tried to open the front door. As you entered your shared home, he tried his best to avoid the conversation as much as possible.

Maybe this was some sort of coping mechanism for him since he was a child, by not talking things out, considering his lonely upbringing, growing up in a broken family.

His long-term coping mechanism was avoidance, by staying silent. Reiner was always like this, and what he did was walk straight out of your shared bedroom without even glancing at you, and yet, you still followed after him, hanging your coat first to the near rack in the living room.

"that's not your decision to make though." Reiner unbuttoned his pristine shirt, loosening his tie while looking at his massive figure in the mirror, not even looking at you.

His head hurts from your heated exchange of words, and Reiner deemed it unnecessary. He just wants to have a peaceful dinner with his family and girlfriend since he's preparing to leave for the military because he will be gone in the meantime. But you chose to ruin the evening for everyone.

"Now Gabi was upset about what you've said. You know she looked up to me the most, remember?" He spat back. You remembered that Gabi wanted to be a cadet like Reiner, and she always dreamed of bringing honor to the family, because it's tradition.

The dinner went into chaos when his mother brought up the topic to the dinner table about Reiner leaving for the military, how proud she is, and that his son is dedicated to the sake of their family's reputation, like bringing honor to their family type-of-bullshit. And what you did was to express your thoughts about it, that their contribution to a change doesn't change the fact that war will happen again because people were always the problem in the first place. And also, that killing people wasn't honorable, especially if there's a civilian involved, that it's not worth it, especially what your country was doing to the nearby nation, a genocide towards the opposing nation.

You damn know well this doesn't benefit Reiner at all. This was eating him alive, and Reiner didn't that life, a cycle that was doomed to repeat itself. It's not worth it for Reiner to risk his life like that, no, not your Reiner.

"Military has always been my dream." He added.

"Your dream? or your mother's?"

Reiner felt suffocated, not by the tie that he was wearing from the dinner, but by your piercing words

that were digging holes through his core, sucking the life out of him. Your words were just...cruel.

"You can fool yourself but you can't fool me, Reiner.

I know you always wanted to be a hero, but you're not the strongest man in the world, Reiner. There are other ways. There has to be another way. " You retorted.

"I don't want you to give your life for other people, I want you to live for yourself." You added.

You might sound cruel and downright way out of the line, but you don't have any choice but to say those words to him because he doesn't understand that it's just wrong, and it's the truth, and he's not seeing past that. You would rather tell him the truth than lose him completely.

"Look, you don't understand where I'm coming from, Reiner. You know that I care about you. I love you, okay?! And I will be honest with you."

You don't need to join the military to show your loyalty to our country. You don't need to prove something to anyone. You can show your loyalty by doing other things." You knew there was something in his sleeve that he wasn't telling you.

You know that there's something wrong the moment you utter your thoughts. You are too smart to notice his facade. You knew this. He had changed when your cousin died, and since then, Reiner wasn't the same anymore.

Marcel was dead, and you knew Reiner enough that he was blaming himself all his life. Marcel was your cousin, and since childhood, you heard from Porco how they got each other's back through ups and downs. They formed this brotherly bond together with Bertholdt and Porco. You've seen how they build their dreams, and how they treasure their friendships the most.

You also knew it was Marcel's dream to be a soldier, not Reiner's.

Sometimes, you've caught Reiner checking the news about business and stocks, even searching for the stock markets, and watching how to make 3D building structures on YouTube. You teased him several times about this, but he just shrugged it off. But deep down, you knew that Reiner wanted to be a businessman or an engineer, but the problem is, Reiner doesn't admit it even to himself.

He will fight his family and even his mother about his career path, that he doesn't want to be a soldier, that he doesn't want to bow down to the family tradition of a long line of generational soldiers.

But all his dreams and re-consideration to change his career went downhill when Marcel saved him while he crossed the streets. Your cousin saved him at the brink of death, and since then, Reiner has blamed himself that it should've been him dead, not him.

"It's my life, and I'm going to do what I want. Of all the people I know, I thought you were going to support me on this." He wanted to atone for what happened to his friend, even if it was not his fault, he was still owning up to the guilt.

"Yeah, but not like this!"

Everyone knew that it was an accident and no one was at fault for what happened. But Reiner was too traumatized to look past that. So, out of guilt and regret, he tried to be Marcel. Reiner easily adapts his big brother persona, his habits, and even his dreams.

There's a pregnant pause after you shout, but you say something out of the blue.

"It's not your fault."you're now standing behind him as you stare through at him in the mirror.

"What do you mean?" Reiner freezes from his spot, not wanting to hear those words from you, the truth. Those pitiful words, those it's-not-your-fault words because, he thinks he never deserves that, and he doesn't want your pity.

"It's not your fault." You repeated your words for him to hear. You knew he had heard you right, loud and clear. But he chooses to not hear it any longer. What you said was not a word of pity, but a word for him as a sign of comfort, that you'll always be there for him, that you understand, but still, he doesn't see it. He was somehow surprised by your bold words, unexpected of you to reveal what has been distracting him all those years, it's like you can see through his mind, and he hated that.

he can't believe that you knew, all along.

"It's about Marcel, right? It was an accident, Reiner."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He tried to steer away from the topic but you're still persistent towards the sensitive topic. You're crossing a very dangerous line, a line that he drew years ago. He will avoid the conversation by walking away from your shared room so that you'd never be able to cross that red line and go to that point.

If only he could walk from the other side of the earth so that you'd never bring up this topic once again.

but you followed him, again. You always fucking follow him. Why would you always follow him?

"I know it, Reiner, from the moment you changed.

You know you can talk to me, right? We're soulmates." You know it's not good to force people to talk about their depression and anxiety, but you still did, your desperation for him to choose a different path was much greater, because, it's your Reiner, the most dedicated man you've known for years.

You knew that it would eat him alive not talking about it, and that guilt was taking a toll on his mental health. You're afraid that he might attempt to take his own life one day if things go wrong, especially if he fully succumbs to depression.

"Reiner, their parents, my aunt and uncle served the military, if you joined, they will make you suffer throughout the training, they won't hesitate to send you to a deadly mission. That's just suicide!" You're well aware of their wrath towards Marcel's death, you know it's not Reiner's fault, it was never his fault. It was an accident, but somehow, part of his parents blamed Reiner for their son's death because they lost their firstborn, their heir.

"I don't care," Reiner said. 'I deserved it'. He wanted to add. But doesn't have the guts to say it.

"If Marcel was here, he wouldn't be happy seeing what you're doing."

"Do you even know what you're saying?" He glanced back at you, his cold eyes pierced through you, and his voice was now laced with anger due to your blunt statement.

"You know what I'm talking about, and I'm saying this because I will never give you up to humanity." You snapped as you chased him down.

"You need to save yourself, Reiner, this isn't you!"

"That's it." You knew you were at the limit of his patience. You had crossed the line. Those lines of patience that was hanging like a thread.

Reiner was the most patient guy you've ever met, even Eren cannot be on par when it comes to his patience. Hell, that guy has anger issues. Whenever you took hours to choose clothes and shoes at the store, he would patiently wait for you to finish trying different clothes, and whenever you're mad at him, even if it's your fault, he would lower his pride and apologize to you. But this time, it's different. This time it would be different.

"You don't tell me what to do, y/n. It's not like we're married or something."

"But we will, eventually, Reiner. Don't tell me you don't see that?" That future that you both built up during that picnic date was now, slipping away. He's slipping away.

'You still see your future with me, right?' You thought, eyes pleading to him to at least say something.

Reiner didn't say anything.

"You know, my father already abandoned my family when I was 3, and since then, it's been my duty." He convinced you, but it seems like he's more convincing himself.

"If you can't endure the possibility of me being dead someday since I'm a soldier, then you shouldn't date me in the first place." You were beyond shocked to hear those words from him, heartbroken from the hurtful words that he had thrown at you.

He has a point. Death will come one way or another, and you sound selfish in someone's point of view. But that isn't your point of view. You're trying to save the one you love from making the wrong decisions, and you want him to live for himself, not for others.

You're right, none of it matters in the end, and he can't see past that. Maybe he might, someday.

Right now, you can't find the right words to justify your point. You were out of words out of frustration and anxiousness. Your shame took over your form at the moment because you knew your choice of words wasn't right to pierce through him. He was too unstable to understand that.

You cannot pierce through him, your words were nothing new.

'I'm sorry." You said, looking at the ground out of

shame, unable to find the right words. He sat on the sofa, leaning his elbow to his knee as he held his head out of frustration.

"I'm sorry that you felt that way, but that was never my intention—"

"I don't know if this relationship is going to work."

in another life, I would be your girl

"What are you trying to say?" You asked tears started to pool in the corner of your eyes, you're trying as much as possible to fight the urge not to cry but failed miserably to no attempt.

"Are you trying to leave me? what about us? you promised!" You cried out.

We'd keep all our promises

"I never thought that you would cross that line, you've gone too far, y/n. I never wanted to hear those words ever, especially from you."

"Fuck it."

"Yeah, you don't want me to die because you'll be alone? you sound so selfish right now, yeah, that's the right word." His words stung as if someone had stabbed you from the inside, and you couldn't pinpoint its location. Everything hurts. He was saying the most painful words to you, those words that you never expected coming from him.

"We need to break up."

You didn't understand how your words had an impact on him, that it'll become his final straw to uncleaved his childhood and lifelong trauma.

You had unscratched his temporary band-aids that he had attached for years, band-aids that didn't help that much as he grew up, you unleashed those painful memories that he tried to bury in the back of his mind. Those thoughts kept him awake in the middle of the night when he was alone. In one night, you ripped those all out, and you brought it all back.

Be us against the world

"I thought we were soulmates.."

"Yeah, we were."

In another life

He put on his leathered shoes again, wearing his coat that you hung on the racks a while ago. His retreating figure forever be etched in your mind.

I would make you stay

'"I won't bring it up ever again, please don't leave."

"Don't leave me."

So I don't have to say you were

"Reiner!"

The one that got away

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I was June and you were my Johnny Cash

You realized weeks ago that Johnny Cash didn't help you from getting your miserable and heartbroken ass out of the couch, considering it's you and your ex's ride-or-die song. Listening to it was making it worse. No ice cream chocolate cake, or even beach get-away can make you ease the pain.

You used to be the typical soft girl who's happy with the way things were, a girl who enjoys the company of books, likes taking a nap in the afternoon, and cooks different dishes whenever you have the time.

And now, you don't know how to return to your old self anymore, it's like she banished that instant, lost somewhere where no one else could reach her.

He took your heart one night, and he never gave it back. You felt scared and confused, and it hurt like hell especially that the one person you loved the most left you. It's like someone had abandoned you in a secluded place, and you freeze right on the spot where they left you.

You told yourself that if Reiner ever decided to come back that morning. You'll welcome him back with open arms and you're willing to work things out for him. This time, you will be kind with your words.

But he never did. He was gone. Right before you came back to the apartment, some of his belongings weren't in their usual place. He already packed his things and belongings and brought all of them along with him before you even arrived. That empty house was left with only your belongings, and also the furniture that you both bought in Ikea.

It doesn't help your case too that you received an email from the landlord that Reiner wouldn't rent the apartment in the next rent renewal. It's really over, you thought.

No messages, no texts, no mail. He had also blocked you.

since you cannot afford to rent on your own, you decide to move in with Annie.

Reiner also avoided you as much as he could. During every friend's gathering, he wouldn't be present if he knew you would be there too.

This was a hint that he's sending you and he's making it clear that he doesn't want to see you ever again.

Ever since he left, you have tried your best to adjust a little without Reiner being there. He was there right after high school where you met him. He was there when you were starting to build yourself from scratch. The typical high-school sweethearts. He always got your back, hearing your rants and frustration, he was there when your friends were busy and no one was there to accompany you. He was there as you laughed your ass out to his lame jokes, or even when watching his favorite Adam Sandler's comedy movies.

He was there when you're crying because you feel neglected by your parents. He was there when you felt you couldn't go on anymore, the stress had gotten into you because of schoolwork and homework. He was there to listen, he was your one-called away, your best friend. But then, he's gone.

What's the point of moving on if everything reminds you of him? He was almost everywhere.

Radiohead and Johnny Cash have been always your and his go-to playlists, during unexpected meet-ups, summer getaways, or night road trips. Those memories do not fade easily, and you don't think that they will ever will. What happened to your love story became a white noise, almost painful to endure the longer you heard it, and that "Johnny Cash" playlist was the only thing you could hear at this moment. To put it simply, Johnny Cash's playlist was one of your reminders of him and his memories, and you're not ready to let go of that.

Never one without the other, we made a pact

Wherever where he was, during his matches, lunchtime, birthdays, and holidays, you named it, everyone expected that you would be there too.

"You're my plus one, remember?" He said.

Because Braun belonged to you, and you belonged to him, you were inseparable the moment you met him, they convinced themself that no one can separate the both of you from being together, and Eren can attest to that.

But now, it's different.

Sometimes when I miss you I put those records on

"So, you still listened to that song, huh?" You snapped out of your thoughts as you heard Annie from behind. You almost forgot that she was there, since most of the time, you tend to space out a lot.

"No, I am not." You immediately hid your phone from her sight in your pocket, scrabbling the screen in your pocket to stop or skip the music. You looked away from her as you denied the obvious.

"your volumes are too loud, dumbass." She tapped her right ear, implying the earphones that you're wearing. At this point, you admit that fooling Annie was the most stupid attempt you've ever made to someone. Nice try, dumb ass.

"You are still in love with him." Annie had said that evening.

A few months had passed and still, you cannot move on from him, you can't get him out of your head.

You thought sometimes that it's almost impossible to get rid of his ghost. His influence on you intertwined to the point that none of the guys had that much of an impact on you.

You missed him, a lot. And you will gladly listen to Radiohead and Johnny Cash whenever you miss him, or whenever he popped up in your mind.

It's hard to move on from the person you love the most, especially if can't work things out due to miscommunication. But you need to accept the fact that it's over. He's gone, and will never come back.

You had nothing against him, he was a good guy, a reliable friend and senior to a bunch of freshmen, and a loving son to his mother. You wish him the best in life.

You know it will take you time before you heal from these wounds, but it's okay, you're going to be okay.

Annie was going to be a policewoman since it was her and her father's dream so, you're going to be alone most of the time from now on. Even Mikasa is going to get her Master's degree in her profession, so probably, you three would've parted ways.

There are things that you regret in the past, regret that keep you awake in the middle of the night. You only want what's best for him, but your words were bringing him down, like a reminder of his depression and trauma, and you're in no position to acknowledge his depression since he didn't bring it up first.

You regret pushing his patience like that, and right now, we're still wondering if things would be different if you never made that confrontation, regret that you should've chosen the right words, not the wrong ones.

But the thing you regret the most is that you weren't able to tell him how much he means to you, and how much you love him, that night.

If you could only meet your old self, you would probably strangle yourself, but what's done is done.

But at least, you can still listen to songs that remind you of the bad and good. at least, these songs will play for you an imaginary vision, the what-ifs, wherein, you two didn't drift apart.

Someone said you had your tattoo removed

Someone said to you that Reiner got his tattoo removed. that pair of blue wings.

"I saw Reiner last week." Your eyes caught Jean's the moment he mentioned his name. Your ears perked up with curiosity, perhaps, excitement? knowing that you'll know what he's been up to.

"That tattoo you both got since high school, he had removed it from a tattoo parlor." A painful sting stabbed your heart as Jean said those words one evening as you went to a bar after a stressful exam.

"Sorry, y/n. I didn't mean to bring him to our conversation. I just thought you should've known." He gulped the beer that he was holding, drifting down his deep thoughts about something, maybe, about someone. He's been pinning over a certain person for years.

Besides, Mikasa had friend-zoned him longed time ago.

"of course, he would, he's joining the military and that's not allowed." You answered. There's a sudden pang in your heart that seems to cultivate as you drink away your thoughts. You tried your best to make an excuse, but you cannot fool your friends with this. Reiner had removed it for some reason.

"And that's a stupid tattoo from high school. That doesn't mean anything tho." that means a lot.

"That doesn't sound convincing." Jean looked at you with genuine concern, he knew you were trying to comfort yourself. From your reaction, you still haven't moved on from him. It's obvious. You can fool yourself, but not your friends.

"It's okay, Horseface! Besides, it was my idea to have that tattoo and, we did break up as well so it's only normal to have him remove it since we're not together anymore." You said it was okay, but the pain still lingers there.

He was getting rid of the memories of you, while you, you're still stuck in the same place where he left you.

As for you, you're doing as much as you can to hold onto things that remind you of him.

He got rid of the tattoo,

And you still kept yours.

Saw you downtown singing the blues

It hurts more when the news about him doesn't reach you through rumors, it fucking hurts when you see it with your own eyes.

You had visited the City of Marley with Annie after you spent the day going to several coffee shops and bookstores, right after spending a good amount on clothes, you parted ways since she needed to come back to the headquarters. Besides, she's going to visit her father tomorrow so she needs to leave soon.

You waved at her as she waved back, watching her figure disappear from the distance.

Then, an unexpected happened at a very unexpected time as you walked down the busy streets of Marley.

After 5 years, you saw him again. fortunately, far enough for him to not see you from a distance. You noticed some changes about him, he grew taller, his build was more muscular and his fashion sense was more mature compared to high school, making him look more intimidating compared to the last time you saw him.

You've heard he had finished his military training, from being a cadet, he already earned his reputation in the military and was able to climb through the ranks. His hard work finally paid off instantly.

Suddenly, you saw him go out of the bar with another woman, a pretty one.

Fuck.

You don't think you've seen her somewhere nor know her from a certain place, but from the way she looks, she's not from your hometown. So you concluded that maybe she's not from here.

She's far prettier too, more confident, and looks like the cool type. You bet she wasn't as toxic as you are. You're nothing compared to her.

This is it.

You haven't seen him that peaceful back then.

This is the part where you'll need to close one of your chapters.

He moved on, and he's happy.

And that's all you cared about. His happiness.

Even if you're no longer part of it.

It's time to face the music, I'm no longer your muse

"Will you love another woman even if I'm gone?"

"I don't think I ever will."

You're no longer her June, his muse. He's no Johnny Cash anymore, so it's time to end this hope in your heart that someday, time may bring you both back together.

It's not going to happen, it will never happen, he's already with someone now.

You're just part of his broken, and miserable past. A girl who brought up his mental illness and existential crisis when things don't go your way. Of course, he wouldn't settle for something like that.

You're part of the problem, a girl who brought back his trauma, a past that he erased years ago.

The way he held her waist brought you on the verge of tears like someone had stabbed you straight up to the heart. Your heart crumbles from staring at them, there's some longing on your part, well, maybe, you shouldn't have looked.

The fire inside your heart was now flickering, slowly dying out from what you were seeing.

You're delusional for expecting him to come back. And it's not his fault that you refused to move on.

Pathetic. How life can be cruel like this?

You never felt stupid until then, stupid for loving the same person for years.

It's time to close this chapter in your life.

It's time to move on.

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"Dr. Yeager!" You're not surprised to see Mr. Yeager in the hospital setting, he was Eren's father, and you had known him since your childhood.

"I'm glad to see you, y/n, but not here." He said. You smiled at him, a reassuring one that it's going to be okay.

"so, how have you been?" you passed out earlier on the street as you were walking outside to attend your campus. Good thing Mikasa was able to catch you on time, preventing damage to your head. As you were brought to the infirmary, the head nurse in the university suggested that you need to be brought to a hospital as soon as possible to run some tests on you.

'I'm good, but my eyes are kind of hazy. I felt weak too. I'm kind of thirsty too." You can see that he's not happy seeing you here, in this setting, in his workplace. You as his patient and him, as your doctor.

"So how's my diagnosis? Am I going to die?" You joked.

"No." He shook his head as he looked at you, his glass was a gleaming reflection of the light above the room.

Not yet.

"I'm sorry to tell you this, y/n, but based on your test, you have acute kidney failure."

"You only got a few years to live."

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"Hi."

You froze dead in your spot, as you saw a familiar figure walking towards you in slow motion, like in the movies. But this wasn't a fairytale, nor an iconic romantic movie. This is reality.

Of all the faces you've encountered throughout your life, the unfamiliar and familiar ones, this wasn't the one you expected to see the most, especially right now.

To be honest, he was the least, and the last person you expect to see here out of this place, a freaking public park in the middle of a big city.

It's like everything that happened for the past years is coming back again, all the good, and the bad memories.

The last interaction with the man you loved was forever engraved in your mind, the same man who walked away from your life on that one fateful night.

He's standing in front of you from a good distance, not too close, but enough for you to hear him.

"What?" your mouth slightly agape as you looked at him in shock, to the point that you didn't notice that he was getting nearer as time went by.

You're not even friends with him since then, hell, he cut you off since that night, he doesn't want to see you and doesn't want to do anything with you. He wants to stay as far away from you, and he made that clear years ago. It's been 5 years since then, and he never reaches out to make amendments. So why now?

No matter how Annie and Bertholdt tried to reconcile the both of you, even if not as lovers, but at least just as friends, he never did. It won't work no matter what effort your friends gave, and there's nothing left for you to amend. that message was clear.

You wanted to avoid this situation more than those useless emergency meetings with your boss, but you damn well can't now. He's here, in his full Braun glory.

You snapped out of your thoughts and strode away, walking past him. You looked anywhere, anything except his hazel eyes.

Suddenly, it's suffocating, and you're more determined to leave the public place as soon as possible.

You don't care if you'll turn out rude for ignoring him. You don't care at all. It doesn't even matter.

Your motto is, 'If he was here, then there's no reason for you to be here either.' and you keep repeating that over your head for several years now.

"Wait." He followed you, chasing you as you moved to walk away from him. His steps were bigger and you knew he would catch up to you if you didn't speed up. God, that stupid long legs of his.

You felt nauseous, you wanted to puke, but none ever came out of your mouth.

"Y/N, wait—" he pleads.

"If you just—" In a split second, he caught up to you, holding your wrist firmly, not too tight, and pulled you against him which forced you to turn around.

"You look pale. You okay?" His eyes softened as he stared at your face, looking at you with concern. The same face that he had only seen in pictures for years which was probably outdated. The face that was living rent free in his mind, 24/7. That face that he hadn't seen in years.

"thank you for the compliment." You said sarcastically.

"Sorry. That sounds rude." He scratches the back of his head, not intending to offend you or whatsoever.

"I shouldn't be here, I'm leaving." You'd rather leave than have him see you again, especially like this.

"Please.. It's been a while since I last saw you. Can't we talk?" He asked.

"I just passed by, then I saw you. Just wanted to know how have you been?" A lie, it's not usual to see a soldier in this area, specifically him, a high-ranking official. unbeknownst to your knowledge, he went to this exact place just to see you. He wanted to talk, alright?

"I'm okay."

"From what happened in the past, I.... I apologize. Please, let me explain" He said.

"You never gave me chance to explain, so why should I let you?" You spat out.

He only realized how bad his situation was when it was too late.

You're right all along and he was stupid enough not to realize what was happening right before his eyes.

That incident in Paradis City, where he learned the corruption inside the capital, how they kept people as prisoners on their land. The military he was in, and the government he served kept a concentration zone for Eldian families, whom they considered as immigrants in their land.

You see, the Marley government succeeded in invading a small portion of Paradis Country. For those who were caught, the government released a mandate that separated family members who don't have Eldian blood from their Eldian families, like the one he witnessed in the camp when a Japanese mother was separated by force from her children and Eldian husband, and vice versa.

A month ago, he and his team were ordered to kill hundreds of people in the internment zone, soldiers like him were sent because there were several riots inside the camp, to the point it set the whole building on fire. They thought it was some act of terrorism. He was so ignorant not to notice that those people fought for their lives, he should have known that it wasn't terrorism from those people, they were fighting back only to defend their loved ones since the government sent an order to kill Eldians in the internment zone one by one. Those people were innocent and only discriminated against because of their bloodline and religion.

This week, Reiner also suspected that Mr. and Mrs. Galliard intentionally took Gabi as a recruit. Because no cadet in training would be accepted that easily in a year and sent to a mission. He speculated that they did this to get revenge on him.

That day, a realization hit him hard, as if he woke up from a deep and long dream, nightmares full of terror and death of his comrades, and full of nightmares without you.

Every night, Reiner has nightmares about the innocent people he killed, crying and pleading with him for their lives. But he can't defy a military order, especially from the higher-ups. He signed up for this, and he would pay the price afterward. Since those incidents, he always woke up in the middle of the night, panting and crying for no apparent reason, traumatized by everything that happened for the past few years.

'She was right, all along, she was telling the truth. Because, to put it simply, she cares.' He thought. He understands now how heavy this profession is, and you knew all about this because you belonged to a military family from generation to generation. You knew how it might take away everything from him. Your words haunt him, every night.

"No, what I mean is. Why are you approaching me? It's not normal." He was taken aback by your statement.

It's not normal to talk to your ex like nothing happened, especially if that said ex never wants to see you ever again.

"Not if it's you." You can't read what was in those eyes, his motive was still unclear to you.

10 years had passed since you two broke apart, and it's been 7 years since you last saw him. You could say that the both of you changed a lot, while you, of course, become thinner than usual, paler, and weaker as time passed by. He wonders why.

But at least, you got your degree right after college and now working as a writer for a well-known publishing company, not the marketing one that your parents urge you to.

While Reiner, throughout the years of battle and war, you've heard from your colleagues that he's a Vice Commander in the military, and of all the people, you know he deserved that spot the most.

"So, I've heard you are not feeling well. how have you been?" How did he know that you were sick? You thought. Maybe he heard it from their mutual friends from your hometown since you went home a lot more than usual for the past 10 years.

Unbeknown to your knowledge, that one afternoon in the barracks, Reiner had heard a conversation from a distance when one of their mutual comrades, Hitch, asked Annie Leonhardt through the phone, and on a freaking loudspeaker, why does she spaced out a lot these past few days and Annie answered that it's about your well-being. Annie had mentioned that you were rushed to the hospital the other day, Mikasa had informed her through calls because she's the one who brought you to the infirmary.

Annie also talked about how she applied for a 1-week leave since she's planning to visit you at the hospital. That's how important you are to Annie and Mikasa, they treated you as their sister.

'I already told you just now that I'm fine. Are you deaf or something?'

"I should be the one to ask you the same thing, how's life been treating you?" You reverted the topic about you and changed it. But Reiner doesn't fail to notice your body language and the typical-aversion-of-gaze that you're indeed, lying. You're far from okay.

"Things have been okay to me." He answered simply. Looking at the ground, ashamed to tell you the truth that it's been a living hell for him for the past 10 years, how his mission damaged his morals as a human, and how he became a murderer for killing hundreds, no, thousands of innocent people.

His oath was to defend the country and serve its people, but he realized that he was doing the opposite.

He was never a hero, and he will never be.

He was a monster sent by the Marleyan Government for genocide, like a programmed robot whose only purpose is to destroy all kinds of life. He hated himself and was ashamed of how monster he had become.

there's a dead silence that seems to surround the both of you. That eerie sound of desperation to have a normal conversation. As you sat in the park, you watched the kids play on the swings, how carefree they were like no amount of responsibilities was holding them down.

You both wished you could be a kid again.

Reiner wanted to ask what are you up to, and how was your family. Are you somewhat happy with how things are? But who was he to initiate a conversation? He's the one who ended it all.

You both are strangers to each other, but with history. He was long gone in your life, not even considering giving you a chance to explain yourself that night.

On the other hand, you're busy wondering where was the guy you've been scheduled to meet today. What's taking him so long? He should be here by now. You will kill him if he didn't save your ass here. You thought.

"I see. you still have that." He chuckled, seeing the wings tattoo on your wrist after all these years. You looked at him, then at your wrist.

"Of course, it's my first tattoo." You rolled your eyes at him, and immediately hid your wrist away from his curious eyes, grasping it away with your other hand.

Ah, he was talking about the tattoo you got on your 18th birthday.

Why did you still have that?

That's the question that you keep asking yourself.

"This doesn't mean other things." You tried to explain yourself.

He had removed his matching tattoo years ago, so what made his heart flutter now knowing that you keep yours all these years?

a single brand of ink but still brought back painful memories.

The ink seemed to fade for years but the memories didn't.

"(y/n)! I brought you some food." A guy shouted from a distance, waving his hands. Reiner noticed how your attention switched from him, then to the guy behind him. Seeing how your mood changed just from the mere presence of another person. You smiled at the guy behind him, forcing Reiner to glance back to see who the guy was.

Your smile was your greatest asset, the one that he loves the most, and you rarely do it now. But he's seeing it again.

The guy lifts his hands cheerfully from a distance, holding the paper bag full of food. This guy never failed to make you smile, he was a cheerful and honest guy, a great company, which sometimes, wants you to smack him in the head for being straight to the point, even if no one asked about things, he would say it right away.

You respected his dedication to his job, driven by his dreams and passion. His idealistic persona and calm demeanor outshine other people, his smiling face and urge to understand every situation made you choose him from the rest.

He makes a beeline step towards you, approaching you with a smile, his eyes study your composure, how uncomfortable you were due to the presence of someone you least expected.

When Reiner glanced back, the guy noticed who was causing your anxious demeanor.

"Hey, Reiner. Didn't expect you would be here." The guy said, smiling at the blonde muscular man who was sitting across from your seat. He laid down the paper bags and beverages on the table, sitting beside you.

"Marco." Reiner acknowledges. So, Marco Bott, a respected guy with a calm demeanor on the Rugby team, a guy with an excellent judge of character, was one of the juniors they interacted with during their senior years. He was one of the guys he trained for the rugby team, alongside, Connie Springer.

"I didn't think you two were dating." He had assumed, because from the look of it. You're comfortable being around him, even giving him a small smile despite your discomfort.

Is Reiner too late to pick things up from what he had left? where have words been left unsaid since that fateful night?

"ah, no, are you out of your mind? I'm just here to accompany her since Annie and Mikasa couldn't make it. Plus, I'm her assistant." He raised his professional nametag proudly, showing how he managed to earn his job and reputation as your successor in the industry.

"ah, sorry." He chuckled, relief that you're not seeing someone.

There was a lingering pang in his chest a moment ago, and he froze on his spot. Reiner thought he couldn't breathe for a second.

Marco had invited him to eat lunch with him and y/n since he brought food. Reiner had this urge to buy something, so he went to a nearby coffee shop and beverages shop to buy some Iced Coffee and Iced Tea from Starbucks from a nearby store, on his way back to the park, he saw a vending machine of sodas, took a Coca-Cola drink, and bottles of water.

He remembered how you used to buy a bottle of soda, like a lot whenever you both went to the grocery stores back then.

One time you got sick, and that same day, you had asked him to get you a soda drink, a Coca-Cola, and pizza as he made his way home from a guy's night out. This led you to call him names such as being a grade-A asshole because the moment he came back, he bought you juice instead of soda because last time he remembered when you drank soda while you're sick, your symptoms worsen.

He chuckled at the memory of you while walking down the streets.

When he returned, he placed the drinks on the table. Reiner handed you a soda, your favorite one.

"She can't drink that. It's bad for her health." Marco said when he saw Reiner handing the Cola drink in his hand to you.

All this money can't buy me a time machine, no

"what do you mean?" Reiner asked. It was your favorite drink throughout the years since high school up until you guys moved together. So why would it be bad for your health?

There's no way you couldn't drink that, you wouldn't dare to resist a soda since it's your favorite drink. Unless...

'Marco." You warned.

Can't replace you with a million rings,

"She's been diagnosed with chronic kidney disease," Marco added. This is the thing you hated about Marco, he was bringing up personal matters in the conversation. He could've said something else.

I should've told you what you meant to me

Reiner can't believe what he's hearing. Everything came crashing down to him, he froze from his spot, unable to find the right words to say. He's feeling...numb, angry, and... scared.

Scared for your life.

"how's her treatment so far?" He had bombarded Marco with questions because he'd answer all of them instead of you. The guy is honest, while, you're the type of person to be annoyed when people meddle with your matters, especially with your warning to Marco a while ago.

"It's none of your business, this is a personal matter." You added.

"Aside from that. There's no point." I'm already at my last stage.

'Cause now I pay the price

From what he experienced all these years, from the bombs that killed the enemy soldiers from foreign countries to the explosions that destroyed millions of worth of infrastructure and properties, he was never afraid of those, except for this moment, he had never felt this scared before.

Reiner likes to think that he's one of the strongest men alive, with no fear and conscience for all the things he did. That was no freaking way he could feel fear, even in front of his enemies on the battlefield. But he never felt fear like this before, the thought of you dying, that he'll outlive you, that hearing one day from your mutual friends that you passed away, gone from his life forever. He can't picture a life without you in this world.

He's a man in the frontline, he's the one who should be at risk for being dead.

Not you, god, not you.

He now knows what fear is, and that's the fear of losing you.

Reiner can't imagine a world without you, a lifetime without you.

He began to contemplate what he said in the past, that he never wanted to see your face ever again. Reiner didn't mean it, but it seems the gods were cruel enough to make those words paint back to life.

⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒

"why didn't you go with the treatment?" He chased after you, not wanting to hear him pestering you. It's funny how the table turned, back then you chased him a lot to confront him, but now he's doing the same damn thing.

The pavements of the side streets seem to carve your heavy footsteps as you watch him stop in his tracks. A while ago, you walked out, and he asked to walk with you, and of course, you declined.

What's that for? Ex doesn't do that.

Even with your refusal, he decided to follow you like a lost dog.

"What?" You deadpanned, looking at his towering figure.

"That's not for you to decide." You returned his words that night and he never failed to notice, even the small details.

"It is!! We were schoolmates, and... friends!! We had a lot of history together so of course I care about you!" He said in frustration.

"Former." You added.

"What the hell do you want from me, Reiner? You made it clear to stay as far away from you, and I did."

"You know I didn't mean it. All of it." Reiner held your wrist, not letting it go as he held it firmly in his grasp. His hazel eyes looked at yours back.

" but you still said it." You said.

"I'm sorry for everything that I've said to you, y/n. I'm sorry for walking away from you, I know what I did was unforgivable, just please, let me make it up to you."

"I don't need that. It's all in the past now."

"And what's the point of that freaking treatment? It doesn't change anything."

"What do you mean? Of course, there would be!" He convinced you, but he's more convincing himself from his tone.

"You think I'd refuse this easily to save my own life? You don't know how desperate I was before to just give it up now!"

"That's not what I mean—" Reiner reasoned out.

"You don't have the right to say that there would be, what happened to me for the past 10 years, No, you don't have a freaking idea what I'be been through before I refuse the treatments." You spat out.

"I'd lost my only parent who cares about me, my dad..." you added.

"Dad donated his kidney for me." You continued.

"After a year of that stupid kidney transplant, he got sick and died. Then what? My body had rejected what he gave to me."

"It's all for nothing... this doesn't make any sense."

"I'm tired from all of this." You revealed.

"Please, at least try.. there's still hope. I know there will be some changes if you just don't give up." Reiner pleaded.

" you don't get to tell me that, Reiner, you can't even help and save yourself!!" You shouted. You're trying to hold back your tears for so long, but it keeps coming out of your eyes.

"From who?" He asked.

"From you!!" You answered.

"I.... You're right." Reiner swallowed hard, struggling to find the right words to say. He was ashamed of how the years turned him into this kind of man, a shameless one, a hypocrite.

"You're right all along, it doesn't matter. All of it." He replied, Reiner said. He stared blankly at his hands, those hands that were tainted with shame, guilt, and everyone's blood.

"I became a monster, and..... our unit, I killed a lot of innocent people, including children. I'd never had a reputation and honor on this path to begin with. I should've listened to you. I should've chosen my dreams, I should've chosen us." Reiner cried out.

"I almost died once, from one of the missions, and the only thing that came to my mind at the moment was you. I'd never felt desperate to survive before, and till then, I realized how much time I wasted being far away from you. I shouldn't push you away."

"I'm so sorry for what happened to you, I'm so sorry that you lost your dad, and I wasn't there to comfort you, and I'm so sorry for everything that I've said to you that night. You don't deserve to live like this. You never deserve any of this!" he was blaming himself for everything, how he wished he could turn back time to spend time with you.

Time is a ticking bomb, and you're currently at the edge of it.

"You deserve to live a long life. Yours is different from mine, your life does matter. Just... go with the treatment, please...for me." Reiner held you, and you tried to get away from his grasp.

"You know life isn't fair." You answered.

"It isn't... but you deserve so much better," Reiner said.

"I wasted so much time on this, for us. I shouldn't pushed you away. If I wasn't an asshole back then, these times that have been wasted all these years should've been spent for us being together." Reiner said.

"What made you think that I still want that? What the hell, Reiner? You can't come back in here like everything's normal. What do you want?" You asked, frustration laced in your voice.

"I had this sudden urge to see you, okay?! That's.....why, y/n! I woke up from the bed and realized you weren't there, it's empty. Like, I woke up from this deep slumber and you weren't there..." He's like a man snapping back from a long-term amnesia, more like, a man waking up from a 10-year comatose.

Reiner wanted to apologize to you, to say sorry, for leaving you, for walking away from your life, that night. But he can't find the right words to say.

"Of all the times and places, why now? Why not then?" He made it clear that he doesn't want to see your face ever again, and that was enough for you to not fight for him anymore.

Because you're used to him being gone in your life for a long time.

It started with you staring at him from afar, away from his sight, until one day, you just...stopped. You continued to keep a distance from him Until it became your routine to avoid him in every gathering, and get-together.

"I heard from a conversation that you were rushed in the hospital, and...and I can feel it that there's something wrong," Reiner says, voice low as you urge him to speak his thoughts more.

"that doesn't concern you, we're not even friends, we're strangers!! Don't come crawling back at me when you feel empty inside." You became someone he used to know, and as long as he's gone too, it's as if, part of you were gone too, lost in the abyss.

"Yeah, you're right, i felt empty for years because you're gone!!" He snapped back in frustration.

"And I still love you!!" He confessed.

"And I'm so sorry for pushing you away." His voice was more desperate for you to hear him, to understand him like you used to.

"I'm so sorry, okay," he said.

"I should be the one who's apologizing, you know?" You added.

"I shouldn't bring up your mental health, especially if it's really hard for you to open up. I learned my lesson not to meddle with other's business and not to care... at all." You simply replied.

"But that's all in the past now, right?" You deadpanned, suddenly in control of the conversation, trying as much as possible to be strong enough to utter the words. But deep inside, you're trying your best to fight the tears in the corner of your eyes, threatening to run down your cheeks as the words start to slip away.

"This doesn't matter now, this, what you're doing, it doesn't make any sense!" You lashed out, trying to push him away as he pulled you in his strong arms.

He paused for a bit as if he was thinking of something that he wanted to say.

Reiner was building his courage to say the things he wanted to. He should've done this a long time ago, but he didn't. He was never brave, he was always a coward, and he would take accountability for the actions that he had done.

"I wanted to make things right, to make it up to you as much as possible." He looks into you, engraving the memory of you in his mind, your lips that used to kiss him at night, your eyes that drown him by just looking at it.

He switched his gaze from you to your soft hands, taking your hands in his, staring at how small your hands were compared to his big ones. He held it gently as if it would break if he didn't.

"I know you will push me away, but I'm still in love with you. and that's already enough reason for me to fight for you, for us. There are no days that you didn't come up in my mind."

"Just please, give me a chance. please, give us a second chance." he pleaded.

The pain always lingers here too, creeping back on you during sleepless nights, forever instilled in you. You thought that as long as he's gone from your sight, you're fine.

But no, you were wrong, the pain keeps coming back no matter how much you bury it in the deepest pit of your mind.

'Please say yes, please, just fucking say yes.'

"I don't know, Reiner. I'm not really sure about that." You hesitated.

"Isn't it too late for that?"

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