#but i'm lucky it got done at all
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I'm curious :D
would also love to hear people's thoughts in the tags :D
#sorry if something like this has been done already but I haven't been able to find one#i got lucky that there were exactly enough options for this#or least with how i think of the arcs xD#i'm planning to do a least fave arc poll afterwards as well#although i can probably guess which one it'll be ^^''#anyway my fave is the First Ascension!#I just really love how we see the young Xianle Trio and how XL fights so hard to save his kingdom#and how it all goes wrong at every turn#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#xie lian#hua cheng#shi qingxuan#he xuan#pei ming#feng xin#mu qing
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fuck it guys i was gonna wait till i finalised some stuff but i can't handle holding it in anymore when everyone else is dropping their news left right and centre and i'm sososo happy for everyone so basically
I GOT M&G TOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 fuck, i'm gonna see a dnp show for the first time in 11 years. i'm gonna MEET dnp after watching them for 11 years. genuinely the shock keeps hitting me in waves throughout the day
#ok i'm done omg i just couldn't like contain it#basically i still have some logistical things to sort out but yeah i just had to. lmao.#ok WHOOP YEAH OK#so much love to everyone who got their tickets#and even more love to all my fellow phannies whose countries dnp are not (currently) visiting#i still have hope they'll add more dates - bc the signs look good imo#i know not everyone is happy with the way they've been handling it thus far#but pls hold out hope!!!!!!#i'm lucky to still have the chance to see them someway somehow#but i have faith they're gonna make that possible for everyone#anyway that's me out ily guys so so much & i'm so grateful to dnp and this community for being such a light in my life#especially when times have been hard recently#ok BYE that's it#<3
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i love looking down or catching my reflection in a window and being like oh i forgot I'm hot today
#i mean. I'm hot everyday. but nonetheless#I'm really breasting boobily in this tank top rn and between the pants and my jewelry n my hair being done i look Fine (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.゚#i usually got a lil jacket on but today i just wore a vest out and don't have it on rn :3 i love that it's getting warmer!!#at its worse i had like 4 or 5 layers on just to hang out outside during winter 💀 spring my beloved#had a very passionate rant about spring with my nurse this morning 👉🏾👈🏾 i love it as much as fall. my favorite seasons hehe#i miss her.. she was so pretty and gay.. we had such a lovely talk together ૮ᴖﻌᴖა ♡ they r always so nicey to me at that clinic#lmaooo (´ . .̫ . `) actually i feel like i always miss my nurses throughout the day after seeing them there. i adore all of them#the front desk remembers me by name and everyone always calls me by my chosen name (❁´◡`❁) ♡ and make sure#they r pronouncing it right. my favorite one was this old lady who was very silly with me ╰( ̄ω ̄o) i love old ladies. let's talk 🙇🏾♀️#im always a safe space for an old lady to be herself and be real w me. and silly if I'm lucky 🥺💕 let's be whimsical together 🫴🏾
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Been fiddling around with my new Pix Party these past few days now that I have it and I'm obsessed. Trying to get Milktchi on my first gen (Bc she's adorable and babey and I need her).
#Tamagotchi#Tamagotchi Pix#It's nice to actually have a VPet thing to check up on every now and then in my spare time at last#it ain't like videogames so guess I gotta learn patience lol#but I got another 11 or so hours left until she grows up to adult.#I already got the CMs done for what I want (I'm keeping track) so hopefully that goes well#I never got to get into Digital Pets as a child. Primarily bc I had to ask for all the ones I wanted and that was impossible back then ;.;#Alongside this I got two Gigapets (StarCat and the newer Bit Bunnies) for something more 'vintage' and simpler for VPets#IK the 'goal' to do in this is to get them a job and send them off and then get more gens that way but lolnah#I'm gunning for first gen and only gen bc I can and got lucky with the egg/gender#Btw if anyone wants to know the case it's the Meetikar silicone case for the Pix and it is available on Amazon.
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oh so Trailblazer rewards automatically go into your inventory that's the exact opposite of what I wanted. How silly of me, I assumed it was like the Championship Season thing where it'd go into my inbox.
#sso I don't hAVE SPACE DON'T#I wanted that free stable care#and free appearance change#sso#ssoblr#haven't done enough to see if I can just redeem some but not all of the rewards#or if it'll automatically collect all the rewards when I try to redeem one#but with the rewards tapering off the more you do I'm not gonna keep it up today anyway I've got other things to do#maybe I'll get lucky and SSO will expand our inventory in the next three weeks#wouldn't that be some good timing.
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there are doctors there are hospitals there are specialists there is medicine there are systems in place so people do not have to suffer and be tortured under their own chronic pain daily and yet. they're all fucking inaccessible to the people who need it most!!! to what I would argue is most disabled people!! I'm so fucking done with the medical system.
#today is an absolutely wretched pain day that makes me want to not be here anymore but guess what!#wasted a whole year trying to convince my doctors I was in significant and disableing pain daily and the best they could do#is tell me to go to PT and to wait 6 months and tell them if it gets better#to prescribe some shit like gabapentin or otc pain meds and write me off#tell me they'll get new X-rays to see if it got worse by the summer#disability exists!! specialists exist! good doctors fucking exist!! somewhere!!! I'm sure!!#but here I sit. in excruciating amounts of pain unable to convince any fucking doctors of anything#and that year I spent pushing myself to the limit is wasted bc at the very end of it all only one guy listened to me#and he said no one in their giant ass facility could diagnose me#so I'm back to square one bc I got a new job which means new insurance and new doctors to try and convince again#I just want to be on disability so i can want to be alive again#I'm so frustrated and in pain constantly#what are people like me who have to work 40hrs to afford to live but don't have any family to rely on supposed to do??#just die? am i supposed to continue to work until im too disabled to move and be profitable unless i get lucky?#bc some fucking doctor finally decides to actually listen???#ive tried ALL THE DAMN TRICKS TOO. telling them a friend has it and thats how i found out. that my previous doctor was looking into it#etc etc#I'm SO done living like this i am exhausted.#and to know that i COULD BE HELPED. RIGHT NOW. is the worst fucking part#these systems are in place so people like me dont have to fucking suffer.#but i cant even do anything about it bc i have a cat.
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i got my pathology results back at my one week post-surgery appointment with my oncologist yesterday and all the margins looked good with no evidence of lymphatic spread, which means there's no need for radiation or chemo atm - instead i'll be having imaging done every three months to watch for any recurrence and we'll go from there 🙃
#by all accounts great news and i'm definitely very lucky#i feel weirdly blah about it all#i think because i first got diagnosed right before finals week and pretty immediately had to start planning for surgery#so i just flat out didn't have enough time or bandwidth to process it properly#but now i'm in a couple week break from school and the surgery's done#and since i'm still laid up *from* the surgery i'm doing a lot of just lying around.....thinking™.........very dangerous#my oncologist mentioned they have a survivorship group with a doctor who helps you navigate the 'new normal' of it all#and how to get back to living without constantly worrying about the rug getting pulled out from under you again#honestly i might need some of that#she's having me do some genetic testing too so that might help give me some peace of mind for my risks for recurrence/other cancers#cancer //#medical //
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finished rain world . i need to throw something against a wall
#qughfhghghhhhagmzsnznsznzxmizdnioz siaosn#i've had a hyperfixation on that fucking game since day one and i'm going away from my laptop for#deep breath. for 2+ weeks so i cant play it andi think im gonna implode violently#gooodddd that fucking game. im so happy i chose to ignore the countless people#who said that it was incredibly difficult#imo it isn't. yes its challenging. yes its unforgiving. but it isnt difficult in a traditional way#not like celeste for example. i keep using this as an example because i got stuck on the fifth (?) screen and got frustrated and left#rain world on the other hand has me in a chokehold. i think the random enemy placements have a very big role in that#like.as a person whos notoriously bad at every game that isnt a metroidvania#i feel like the reason i never got too frustrated is because every playthrough could be the lucky one. the conditions change all the time#and even if you are too low on skill to pass the current cycle you'll just try again. and now its a completely different challenge#of course this also means that your perfect run can be killed by a lizard falling on your head or you accidentally pressing forward#but to me that's part of the games charm#okay i think im done ranting. for now#rw tag
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boutta start ordering rocks online again just to feel alive
#im joking#but also man my days are so boring right now#struggle to wake up at 5;30 stumble out of bed at 8 maybe if i'm lucky#stare at computer screen listlessly and maybe get stuff done#most exciting part of my day is when i get to chat with my bf for a little bit in the afternoon#and then when people get home so i get to say hi for a few minutes b4 they're off doing stuff (fair)#and then i get ready to go to bed at 9:20pm after i feed my cat and it begins anew#i have got to get back into one of my hobbies or something the tedium is getting to me rly badly#need 2 get that work desk so i can do crafts in the craft room or make one idc#also the weather has been truly abysmal since we moved#hot and in the 90s and obscenely humid so i can't really muster up the willpower to want to go on a hike#augh#personal stuff#i think it's also bc i was just on an amazing fun 5000 mile road trip where i was constantly looking at new stuff and talking and having fu#and now im home and its boring here and i can't look at mesas and kiss my boyfriend and do fun activities all day every day#its like my brain is a rubber band that was stretched to the max over the course of that trip by sheer amount of enrichment#and now that i'm back home the amt of enrichment is so so much less that the brain rubber band is just loose n floppy#at least for now while it gets used to what is a much more normal amount of enrichment
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I have such a neat idea for a mother's day cake I just hope I can pull it off 😵💫
#I've never done filling between cake layers before but I want to master it so bad that I just said fuck it!#and got everything to do it with my grocery order today cause 1) it wasn't pricey at all and#2) it truly isn't hard to MAKE the fruit filling at all#I've just never tried doing a layered cake with the fruit filling#I really hope my buttercream is stable enough to keep it all contained ughhhhhhhh#it's gonna be ok! It's trial and error! and I'll never get any good at it all if I don't try!#my dear dear friend years ago used to make these AMAZING cakes with fruit filling in the middle and I would help her out sometimes#she taught me SO MUCH abt baking I loved her so much I was so lucky I became friends with her despite our like 20+ year age gap lol#but I've never attempted it on my own so.... now I'm going to#🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞 I can pull this off tho cause it's uhhhhhh shark week this week and I'm already very tired and insomnia ridden already#I just really hope I can try this omg
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uuuUUGHGHGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
#vents 🌧️#I'm so fucking MAD#I've been seeing SO many fucking valentines day drawings today and I wanted to join in so badly#but I have my stupid fucking homework#and my mom said that if I get my homework done I can have 'a few minutes' of time#A FEW FUCKING MINUTES#yeah. great. so I can make a shitty doodle that nobody bothers to interact with#on the ONE fucking day I was hoping to get some attention#is that selfish? yeah it absolutely is. but I don't care. everybody's so fucking sick of me in real life#is it so bad that I want everyone to see me here? everyone to tell me how good I'm doing#I just want people to tell me I'm doing a good job#I'm failing all my classes in school. I have a terrible social life. I fall asleep constantly and I'm never fun to be around irl#all my parents do is nag me to do the homework I have no willpower to do and yell at each other outside my door#I'm doing a really shitty fucking job in real life. maybe if I got some imaginary fucking internet points I'd feel a little better#I don't care if it's selfish. I want to feel wanted. I want to feel admired. I want everyone to see me and think I'm doing so good#I've got nothing else. art's the last thing I'm good at. it's so fucking over for me. this is it.#it's rock bottom isn't it? my meds still aren't working. my dad is relentless in his anger. my mom is at her wits end#my friends at school give me maybe half of the love I give them if I get really lucky#my teachers are so fucking tired of me#who the fuck gives a shit anymore. this all feels so fucking pointless#who cares about regents or sats or college or jobs or anything. that's it. I give up. this is it for me.#I don't know how it's supposed to get better.#I'm so fucking sorry. I'm liveblogging an absolute spiral on here. I'm so sorry#if you read all the way down to here.. I'm not in trouble. I'm not going to do anything bad. you don't have to worry about me.#I'm just. so. tired.#I should probably delete this later.
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@beatingheart-bride
Both June and Wilhelm exchanged little looks at this-not so much at Emily's apology (which, they felt, was nothing to apologize for), but at her comment that "things are starting to turn around": Though she didn't elaborate (and the Pace's felt it would be rude to pry, especially so soon after meeting her), something told them that their son had something to do with it.
"Ah, no need to apologize, lass," Wilhelm smiled, waving his hand at her, adding, "Living a quiet life is nothing to be sorry for! And besides, it's not like we're living thrilling lives ourselves-and that's alright! Sometimes, quiet is good."
"I'm just sorry you've felt a little...caught up in your thoughts, as you said," June added sympathetically-if there was anybody who knew what it was like to be in ones own head, caught up by too many thoughts weighing you down, she couldn't lie, it'd be her and her family (even if they tried their hardest not to be).
"I'm glad to hear things are picking up for you, dear. Tell me, what sorts of movies do you like? Our boy's a horror fiend; he reads every issue of Famous Monsters he can get his hands on, has all sorts of posters and knick-knacks in his room. I don't know how he sleeps in there sometimes!"
"It's not that bad, Ma..." Randall smiled and blushed, as he rubbed the back of his neck-spooky stuff around him at night as he slept just didn't bother him!
#((honestly the funniest thing about my cannibal tooth was that it didn't hurt! i went in for a routine check-up/cleaning))#((and after they were done they were like 'heeey...had any trouble with this tooth here?'))#((and i'm like 'uh...no?' they don't even know how that sorta thing happens; it just does!))#((and honestly; outside of getting some teeth yanked-some to make room for braces; then my wisdom teeth-))#((and having braces for a few years; i've had no issues with my teeth; no cavities or anything!))#((i had very screwy teeth when i was little because my mouth just wasn't big enough to accomodate them all))#((but once i got braces; i've had no issues outside of my weird cannibal tooth! i still have to wear a retainer))#((but that's no sweat since i only wear it when i'm sleeping-i'm very fortunate when it comes to my teeth))#((sorry your brother wasn't so lucky!))#outofhatboxes#beatingheart-bride#V:Dark Shadows
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A tale of two Georgias
Note: I wouldn't normally share subscriber-exclusive content from this news site, but I think Shota Kincha's opinions are too important to hide away in an exclusive email this time. If you're so minded, please consider supporting open journalism in the Caucasus anyway and sending some money OCMedia's way.
Highlighting is my own. Of course I support Georgia joining the EU, but absolutely not under conditions that ignore the recent rolling back of democratic freedoms.
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By Shota Kincha, for OC Media.
On Wednesday, Georgians celebrated a long-awaited recommendation from the European Commission for their nation’s candidacy for EU membership, leaving the country’s candidacy pending just final approval from the heads of EU member states in mid-December. But the Commission’s assessment of the government’s ‘progress’ seemed to be based on wishful thinking, rather than its actions.
On denying Georgia the status last year, the European Commission outlined 12 ‘priorities’ Georgia would need to address for the decision to be reconsidered — preconditions that largely reflected the spirit of the April 2021 agreement brokered by European Council President Charles Michel between the government and opposition groups.
When the unforeseen possibility for Georgia to formally apply for membership presented itself in early 2022, Georgia’s leadership had already failed on some of the key components of the previous year’s accord.
Instead of addressing the ‘perception of politicised justice,’ an apparent euphemism for the imprisonment of opposition leaders, most notably Nika Melia in early 2021, the Georgian court imprisoned another prominent government critic, Nika Gvaramia, only five weeks before the European Commission was due to assess Georgia’s readiness for EU membership candidacy.
Instead of the ambitious judicial reform promised in the 2021 Michel deal and mentioned in the EU’s ‘12 priorities’ last year, the ruling Georgian Dream party has continued to shield corrupt judicial officials with a stranglehold on Georgian courts, resulting in more politicised administrative fines and criminal cases against civil activists, political leaders, media managers, or youth with ‘confused orientation’ who risked their freedom to defend Georgia’s pro-Western choice on the streets.
In the run-up to the European Commission’s latest decision on Georgia, the government and security services run by oligarch Bidzina Ivanishvili’s goons artificially created an anti-Western parliamentary group, gifted them private channel PosTV, and made violent extremist pro-Russian Alt Info immune to obstruction or challenge.
If the last five years under Georgian Dream rule had been a steady decline in democratic freedoms, the government’s actions in the months since it applied to join the European Union — including their recent initiatives to clamp down on Georgia’s civil society and constrain protest — far surpassed any and all negative predictions.
But listening to President of the European Commission Ursula von der Leyen, one could have assumed she was discussing an entirely different country.
Despite Georgia’s government persecuting free media, parroting Russian propaganda against the West, refusing to undertake institutional reforms in a way that included other groups and stakeholders, and satisfying only three of the twelve conditions set last year, the European Commission complimented them with no substantial criticism.
I do not believe the EU should approve Georgian membership candidacy later this year, as the move looks set to validate and entrench the government’s precipitous lurch towards authoritarianism.
The European Commission’s approach may be based on the belief that denying Georgia candidate status could lead to Georgians becoming disillusioned with the EU and the West. But Georgians have been staunchly pro-Western for decades, perhaps even centuries.
The real danger to Georgians’ trust in the West comes from the West’s indifference to anti-democratic moves by Georgia’s government, which, if left unchecked, will continue to use state institutions to slowly but steadily shift popular mood and policies towards Russia.
Even were we to allow that recommending EU candidacy status was a justified decision in Georgia’s best interests, doing so did not obligate the institution’s leaders to legitimise the country’s government in the way they did.
Listening to the widely televised announcement by the European Commission on Wednesday, Georgians could reasonably have concluded that democratic backsliding, state capture by big capital, and a politicised judiciary are consistent with Georgia’s pro-Western aspirations, or that related warnings from local activists and media have been baseless or overblown.
The announcement could also have created the impression that the ruling party has been delivering on reforms demanded by the EU, a powerful notion less than a year before the country’s next general elections.
The truth is, however, that in inviting Georgia to join the club while neglecting to call out the government’s shortcomings, the EU is playing a dangerous game, and one it has played before. The EU does not want another Orban, and the South Caucasus definitely does not need another Aliyev.
I may be wrong: perhaps granting Georgia candidate status will still be a wise choice on the EU’s part. But even in its recommendation, the European Commission could have sent a clear message that business as usual would no longer be tolerated.
What Georgia’s leadership heard instead will become abundantly clear in the coming months.
#ქართველები მიყვარხართ - ძალიან ძალიან მიყვარხართ. მაგრამ ეს არ არის დრო.#ამ მეთოდში ევროპული კავშირი ვერ გეხმარება ქართულ ოცნებსთან.#ეს იქნებოდეს ჯილდო უსამართლობისთვის#i'm seeing so many celebrations and it fucking breaks my heart#membership. will. not. fix. you.#you have to start that yourselves!#and the eu isn't perfect it needs to take a stricter line with hungary and orban.#they got lucky with poland voting their way out of a hole but that won't happen in hungary so easily -#and if they act like georgian dream have done enough when they have done worse than nothing they will be in a very good position next ge#and don't @ me for saying you need to start the work yourselves.#i have a friend who used to work in politics there and tried to change the election culture#he couldn't even get people to agree to a covenant saying they would refrain from using misgynistic language in campaign season#because people thought it was meaningless and unimportant#well sometimes you have to fucking start somewhere or you get scenes like the misogynistic language used in georgian parliament recently#i know i'm just ranting from very far away and can't possibly understand it all#i'd hoped to visit for the first time last month. but the university called off the planned research trip#because of concerns about the government's repressive legislation and actions#and if the eu grants candidate status for you without demanding actual concrete change then that's just going to carry on worse than ever.#i'm sorry i want to see you join. i believe the eu needs change from the inside too.#but they aren't your saviours riding in to fix things if they don't hold GD accountable#georgia#it's been a depressing few years to be a student of georgian i can't fucking imagine how much more depressing it's been to be there#but you have campaigners who give me hope still.#it's just that this decision by the eu would not give me hope for your future sorry#საქართველო#caucasus#oc media#shota kincha#eu politics
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i CANNOT be allowed to listen to the spongebob musical reprise of best day ever while already mentally unstable
#our post comrade.#weve done all we can do and whatever happens next im glad im here with you.#but we're still here and mr. sun's up there. i'm so lucky got nothing to do i could spend five minutes just being with you.#i feel nauseous in real life#its all too much for me. surely musical spongebob was scared to die#it's all too kind and too brave and too bright
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Alright cool - Drabbles has a queue set up until like, April lol
#I guess that's what happens when I don't queue stuff up for half a year lol#I also updated the taglist so it should hopefully all line up once everything posts#I've still got MBD's to do - egh - but at least when that's done I can update the YT links#And hopefully by the time those post all the speedpaints will be done too! Hopefully hopfully#I was able to edit up a couple more the other day which is good 'cause it's getting awfully close to train tracks lol#Lucky break: A good small handful are gonna be start-from-blank sketches so that's neat#Backend stuff backend stuff#I doodled a small clip yesterday but not much finished :P One thing at a time!#I'm just glad this is done 'cause it's been on the backburner for waaaay too long#Hopefully I'll be able to keep up with it a little better but I'm sure it's only a matter of time haahha#Too many moving pieces all jumbled in my head
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Personal musings (positive) in the tags
Cw: reflection on past suicide attempt, but in a good way; super privilege
#things are better in your 30s!#I'm looking back on the last couple years and seeing some definite changes in myself#pondering it all bc of the aging post () i shared recently#last july - two months before my 30th - i tried to forcefully exorcise by hand my ghosts that had been haunting me#but then i got help#i was admitted to the mental health ward for a week until i was no longer in/a danger#i got set up with a couselor and a psychiatrist to do meds and therapy#i had doctors who diagnosed a couple underlying conditions that affected my mental health in big ways#i has a team of docs who could come together and share notes and document my hurts and pains and turn that into something they could do#i was so very privileged to have that experience#i was so privileged to have insurance that covered things so I didn’t have to worry so much about the cost#(which i was fully braced for because I'm not/wasn't used to insurance being worthwhile#)#but it did and i could get help and after I got my head straight i was able to grow#therapy and meds weren't always perfect but i was lucky enough to have a team that listened to me#and that saved my life#i turned thirty still worried that I hadnt done anything meaningful with my life#and same when i turned 31#but#but.#i survived. in a very real way. i made it through that year#and it didn't kill me#i will make it through the new year if it kills me too
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