#but i'm lucky it got done at all

[fryday]

fuck it guys i was gonna wait till i finalised some stuff but i can't handle holding it in anymore when everyone else is dropping their news left right and centre and i'm sososo happy for everyone so basically

I GOT M&G TOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 fuck, i'm gonna see a dnp show for the first time in 11 years. i'm gonna MEET dnp after watching them for 11 years. genuinely the shock keeps hitting me in waves throughout the day

[kuromi-hoemie]

i love looking down or catching my reflection in a window and being like oh i forgot I'm hot today

[centeris2]

oh so Trailblazer rewards automatically go into your inventory that's the exact opposite of what I wanted. How silly of me, I assumed it was like the Championship Season thing where it'd go into my inbox.

[an-assortment-of-forks]

there are doctors there are hospitals there are specialists there is medicine there are systems in place so people do not have to suffer and be tortured under their own chronic pain daily and yet. they're all fucking inaccessible to the people who need it most!!! to what I would argue is most disabled people!! I'm so fucking done with the medical system.

[wrenhavenriver]

i got my pathology results back at my one week post-surgery appointment with my oncologist yesterday and all the margins looked good with no evidence of lymphatic spread, which means there's no need for radiation or chemo atm - instead i'll be having imaging done every three months to watch for any recurrence and we'll go from there 🙃

[haggstroem]

finished rain world . i need to throw something against a wall

[cerbreus]

boutta start ordering rocks online again just to feel alive

[imwritesometimes]

I have such a neat idea for a mother's day cake I just hope I can pull it off 😵‍💫

[qilinkisser]

uuuUUGHGHGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

[theheadlessgroom]

@beatingheart-bride

Both June and Wilhelm exchanged little looks at this-not so much at Emily's apology (which, they felt, was nothing to apologize for), but at her comment that "things are starting to turn around": Though she didn't elaborate (and the Pace's felt it would be rude to pry, especially so soon after meeting her), something told them that their son had something to do with it.

"Ah, no need to apologize, lass," Wilhelm smiled, waving his hand at her, adding, "Living a quiet life is nothing to be sorry for! And besides, it's not like we're living thrilling lives ourselves-and that's alright! Sometimes, quiet is good."

"I'm just sorry you've felt a little...caught up in your thoughts, as you said," June added sympathetically-if there was anybody who knew what it was like to be in ones own head, caught up by too many thoughts weighing you down, she couldn't lie, it'd be her and her family (even if they tried their hardest not to be).

"I'm glad to hear things are picking up for you, dear. Tell me, what sorts of movies do you like? Our boy's a horror fiend; he reads every issue of Famous Monsters he can get his hands on, has all sorts of posters and knick-knacks in his room. I don't know how he sleeps in there sometimes!"

"It's not that bad, Ma..." Randall smiled and blushed, as he rubbed the back of his neck-spooky stuff around him at night as he slept just didn't bother him!

[notasapleasure]

A tale of two Georgias

Note: I wouldn't normally share subscriber-exclusive content from this news site, but I think Shota Kincha's opinions are too important to hide away in an exclusive email this time. If you're so minded, please consider supporting open journalism in the Caucasus anyway and sending some money OCMedia's way.

Highlighting is my own. Of course I support Georgia joining the EU, but absolutely not under conditions that ignore the recent rolling back of democratic freedoms.

---

By Shota Kincha, for OC Media.

On Wednesday, Georgians celebrated a long-awaited recommendation from the European Commission for their nation’s candidacy for EU membership, leaving the country’s candidacy pending just final approval from the heads of EU member states in mid-December. But the Commission’s assessment of the government’s ‘progress’ seemed to be based on wishful thinking, rather than its actions. 

On denying Georgia the status last year, the European Commission outlined 12 ‘priorities’ Georgia would need to address for the decision to be reconsidered — preconditions that largely reflected the spirit of the April 2021 agreement brokered by European Council President Charles Michel between the government and opposition groups.

When the unforeseen possibility for Georgia to formally apply for membership presented itself in early 2022, Georgia’s leadership had already failed on some of the key components of the previous year’s accord. 

Instead of addressing the ‘perception of politicised justice,’ an apparent euphemism for the imprisonment of opposition leaders, most notably Nika Melia in early 2021, the Georgian court imprisoned another prominent government critic, Nika Gvaramia, only five weeks before the European Commission was due to assess Georgia’s readiness for EU membership candidacy.

Instead of the ambitious judicial reform promised in the 2021 Michel deal and mentioned in the EU’s ‘12 priorities’ last year, the ruling Georgian Dream party has continued to shield corrupt judicial officials with a stranglehold on Georgian courts, resulting in more politicised administrative fines and criminal cases against civil activists, political leaders, media managers, or youth with ‘confused orientation’ who risked their freedom to defend Georgia’s pro-Western choice on the streets.

In the run-up to the European Commission’s latest decision on Georgia, the government and security services run by oligarch Bidzina Ivanishvili’s goons artificially created an anti-Western parliamentary group, gifted them private channel PosTV, and made violent extremist pro-Russian Alt Info immune to obstruction or challenge. 

If the last five years under Georgian Dream rule had been a steady decline in democratic freedoms, the government’s actions in the months since it applied to join the European Union — including their recent initiatives to clamp down on Georgia’s civil society and constrain protest — far surpassed any and all negative predictions.

But listening to President of the European Commission Ursula von der Leyen, one could have assumed she was discussing an entirely different country. 

Despite Georgia’s government persecuting free media, parroting Russian propaganda against the West, refusing to undertake institutional reforms in a way that included other groups and stakeholders, and satisfying only three of the twelve conditions set last year, the European Commission complimented them with no substantial criticism.

I do not believe the EU should approve Georgian membership candidacy later this year, as the move looks set to validate and entrench the government’s precipitous lurch towards authoritarianism. 

The European Commission’s approach may be based on the belief that denying Georgia candidate status could lead to Georgians becoming disillusioned with the EU and the West. But Georgians have been staunchly pro-Western for decades, perhaps even centuries. 

The real danger to Georgians’ trust in the West comes from the West’s indifference to anti-democratic moves by Georgia’s government, which, if left unchecked, will continue to use state institutions to slowly but steadily shift popular mood and policies towards Russia. 

Even were we to allow that recommending EU candidacy status was a justified decision in Georgia’s best interests, doing so did not obligate the institution’s leaders to legitimise the country’s government in the way they did.

Listening to the widely televised announcement by the European Commission on Wednesday, Georgians could reasonably have concluded that democratic backsliding, state capture by big capital, and a politicised judiciary are consistent with Georgia’s pro-Western aspirations, or that related warnings from local activists and media have been baseless or overblown. 

The announcement could also have created the impression that the ruling party has been delivering on reforms demanded by the EU, a powerful notion less than a year before the country’s next general elections. 

The truth is, however, that in inviting Georgia to join the club while neglecting to call out the government’s shortcomings, the EU is playing a dangerous game, and one it has played before. The EU does not want another Orban, and the South Caucasus definitely does not need another Aliyev.

I may be wrong: perhaps granting Georgia candidate status will still be a wise choice on the EU’s part. But even in its recommendation, the European Commission could have sent a clear message that business as usual would no longer be tolerated. 

What Georgia’s leadership heard instead will become abundantly clear in the coming months. 

[parme-san]

i CANNOT be allowed to listen to the spongebob musical reprise of best day ever while already mentally unstable

[sweetearthandnorthernsky]

sae’s terrible-awful-horrible-no-good-very bad-isengard-adventure (or, oc-tober day 5: thunder)

The grinding of Isengard’s great machines is an unceasing cacophony, the grating of metal on metal and shouting of Uruk-hai and the wailing of prisoners and Saelinriel wants to clap her hands to her ears but she can’t , not with the chains about her wrists and the Uruk that has been assigned as her guard constantly watching every movement she makes.

So, instead she summons up her pride as a descendent of the Elendili , no matter how far back it is, and reminds herself Isengard – no matter how frightening it is, with the machines that shoot plumes of smoke and the pits where the smithying is done and where it is too hot to breathe, and where she fears she will never see the sea or the stars again  – will not break her.

She won’t let it.

It’s been a few days since Saelinriel and Lothrandir have been brought to Isengard, or that’s her guess, because she hasn’t seen sunlight since then.

 She does her best to turn to the West before swallowing the moldy bread they give her for food – and she wonders if Lothrandir is receiving better fare, but remembering how defiantly he’d sprinted away from the wagon (and from her , but she doesn’t want to think about how much that hurts when now is when she needs a friend most) she doesn’t think so.

Later she is summoned before Saruman himself.

He is almost like Gandalf in appearance, but sharper than he was, if that were the right word. There is an edge to everything about him, even the seemingly soft folds of his robe that hurt her eyes to look at for too long. Saruman's voice is mockingly cruel as he mentions  Nár and the Grey Company's errand in Enedwaith, and her stomach twists uneasily. 

"What do you want from me?" Saelinriel manages, trying to keep her mind shut the way Morinel had taught her after Mordrambor but it is difficult.

"Your friend Lothrandir is at my mercy. If you tell me what I want to know, he will not be harmed."

Oh, that is a cruel choice. 

She wouldn't be able to live with herself if Lothrandir got hurt on her behalf, but she would never be able to forgive herself if she gave Saruman - the traitor - the information he sought.

"Tell me everything you know about the Ring."

She blinks, frowning as she stares into the fireplace behind him. What is he talking about? The Ring of Barahir? Surely one as learned in lore as one of the Wizards should know the history of the heirloom of Elendil's house. "What?"

He laughs before going deadly serious and her blood goes cold as if ice drips through her veins and she feels sick.  This feels too much like Mordrambor, too much, too much—

"Gandalf knew something of it, and you knew Gandalf." Saruman's voice is melodious and calming. "I know the Ring was in the hands of a halfling. Where is it now?"

Stray puzzle pieces are put very quickly together and she can feel herself going pale as Frodo’s face and the Company and the solemnity of their errand flashes through her memory.

"I don't know," she lies. 

Saruman is not convinced.

She is sent to Morflak, (once Saruman and Gun Ain, the young girl from Forochel, are finished with her) an overseer on the Outside  where there is fresh – fresher, at least – air, and through the billowing smoke she can see the faint light of the sun struggling through the heavy clouds.

 Her back aches and she thinks Saruman's ‘interview’ might have opened the wounds on her back but there is no time for her to worry about that.

 Saelinriel keeps her head down the best she can, and soon she – somehow – earns Morflaks trust, and her shackles that have been cutting into her wrists and rubbing them raw are undone. 

The air is harsh against her wounded wrists and it adds — slightly — to the pain, but she has endured worse, and pushes it deep down because Morflak unsettles her in a way no other foe of hers has managed quite yet.  

He towers over her — clad in armor, with the pick of any weapon the forges make — and Saelinriel is small, garbed in thin rags with only a sharp iron spike she scavenged from the armory, hidden in her boots. 

 As she scurries about the surface on errands for Morflak and his cronies she can hear the thundering crash of the machines still — even what feels like — miles above them as the earth seems to quake beneath her feet.  

Metal pounds against metal as she goes about her business, making herself as small as possible in the process. 

She’s never felt so vulnerable — even when facing Mordirith or Mordrambor — or alone. 

Saelinriel pauses once, during her rounds, in front of a large building on the northernmost most part of the Ring of Orthanc.   She approaches the great doors, beneath great green-blue glass window, but before she can go in she hears ruckus coming from within. 

She can’t stay, as much as she wants, she would risk getting caught and that —  Her back still stings and she’s not eager to repeat the process again. 

Before Saelinriel returns to Morflak, she pauses and gazes south, trying to see through the smoke and smog, as she wonders if Dagoras still holds his camp within Nan Curunír or if he too was lost to—

No, she cannot think like that , not now. 

(She’s barely managing as is.)

During the night, Isengard is neither still nor silent — it’s like trying to sleep in a thunderstorm— but there are moments when she’s alone, and while she is trying her best to sleep — against her will — her thoughts turn to the fate of the Grey Company. 

But the thought that troubles her most, that returns again and again unbidden, is that she and Lothrandir may very well be the last living members of the Grey Company. 

(And for how much longer? The cynical part of her whispers and she tries to ignore how much it frightens her.)

 Saelinriel is sent to carry food (slop, really) down to the depths of the dungeons and give them to some prisoners. Baldgar and Acca are their names and – they claim to – have an escape plan.  She’s skeptical at first, but then what better choice is there? 

From what she can gather, the plan is as follows: Acca knows a secret way out of the Ring but to escape, both Baldgar and Acca need a way out of their cells, and all three of them need a big enough distraction to keep the Uruk-hai occupied.

And, since Acca and Baldgar are otherwise occupied, it is down to her to go and get the ingredients and do most of the preparation.

 Saelinriel goes about her errands in the forge as normal – as Baldgar and Acca suggested to keep appearances up – with the task of gathering some of the powder that is used in the creation of black fire, a powerful weapon. 

(Her hands shake the entire time and she is almost certain Sagrúrz is onto her, but no blows come nor heat from burning metal.)

 From there, she returns to the surface and sprinkles the powder into piles near the war machine when Thak, one of Morflak’s friends – did Uruk-hai have friends? Maybe subordinate was a better word –  notices her lingering near the war-machine and calls out to her and she freezes as he approaches - taking huge thundering steps. 

He eyes her hungrily, confident that he has caught her doing something suspicious, so she appeases him: she starts talking.

Angrily she tells him that it is Morflak's will that she walk around Isengard unguarded, and if Thak wishes to question the will of Morflak, she can bring the two together. All of Thak's bluster vanishes in an instant. 

He leaves and she returns to Baldgar and their plan is set into motion. 

Acca volunteers to light the powder, and she cannot quite believe the kindness -- can it be called kindness when it ends in such a cruel end? -- of a stranger and she and Baldgar press on.

 She balks at leaving without Lothrandir, but Baldgar's eyes -- fierce and intent and understanding -- find hers. 

  If Lothrandir lives still, Saruman has kept him very close. We cannot hope to gain entrance to Orthanc. He speaks the very thought that has lived in her mind since the moment Lothrandir ran away. 

A lump creeps into her throat and she hates the idea, but the others-- they are captured by the Falcon Clan who has no need of them while Saruman -- she thinks -- is using Lothrandir for information. 

Her throat burns and she nods.

Minutes stretch past without the signal.

Something is wrong.

 She and Baldgar go to see what happened and find Morflak, standing over the body of Acca.

 He looks up at her, an expression in his eyes that she has never seen before and her body trembles as Baldgar calls for her to distract Morflak and-- he is taking swings at her and she only just avoids the razor sharp blade.

While she is ducking and moving faster than Morflak ever could she manages to pick up a dull orc blade -- terrible craftsmanship and she hates that she is distracted enough to focus on that and not the very real threat before her -- and a dull board.

It is nowhere near as good as her Noldorin sword and Gondorian steel shield but it will have to do.

It must.

 Saelinriel keeps up for a little while but soon,  she is rapidly losing the battle as the Orcish steel shatters her shield to splinters and–  

 Thunder roars in her ears and she knows no more. 

[sysig]

Alright cool - Drabbles has a queue set up until like, April lol

[ocean-in-my-rebel-soul]

Personal musings (positive) in the tags

Cw: reflection on past suicide attempt, but in a good way; super privilege

[what-when-why]

i used to feel weird like reading fanfics for small fandoms cause i was like "ugh people are gonna think i'm cringe" so i wouldn't comment but like... no one is inspecting what all fics i've commented on like?? and the smaller the fandom the more they probably need the comments for support y'know?? not giving feedback nor the extra engagement (cause let's be real here having more reads or kudos/votes/likes doesn't help promote anything on any website, they're just nice gratification for the author) is like the easiest way to no longer get content for that fandom 😭 if one person is keeping the fandom alive with their writing let them know you love them!!