#but i'm also hesitant about putting too many up bc i also don't want to make the room feel crowded

[modern-alebrije]

ugh... i miss my dolls 😔

[angelflms]

Okay, so I have been thinking so much about this (I have been talking aloud to myself for like ten minutes bc I've invested myself wayyy too deep into this), but I think I know why Miguel bothers me so much despite being my favorite character.

The writers suck.

Now, I know I don't have screenwriting credibility and I'm merely just a girl and I know that perhaps they can't cram all of this shit into the show and make room for literally everyone else, BUT I think the reason why so many people don't like Miguel as a character is because he doesn't have much of a character to work with. So whenever he does something that shows character (the Mexico storyline, the Stanford storyline), no one feels bad for him. I think that maybe if he had definitive arcs for each season, while weaving it better into Robby's arcs (since they're foils and tethered to each other), he would actually be likeable. So I wanted to show you what I feel like I would do to write Miguel's post school fight arc. Feel free to tell me your opinions. (buckle up, this is a long one)

S3a

similar to what we see

but we actually get to be more into Miguel's mental response to the aftermath

I dont' think they went enough into his feelings with everything and that everything went a bit too fast (for Miguel) during the season.

perhaps they could've gone deeper into his PTSD, similar to what they did with Sam.

but instead it preventing him from going to school, it prevented him from doing karate all together.

it was clear early on that karate and Johnny slowly became all that Miguel cared about.

Johnny was sending mixed signals and Kresse's entry into CK was conflicting as their ideals were different.

Johnny made it clear that CK's mottos are a way of life, so Miguel was moving the exact way one would in karate irl.

Karate was his life. And it nearly ended it as well.

I don't believe Miguel would immediately still want to be so gung-ho about joining karate again after nearly dying from it.

Johnny would lose Miguel's trust and would fight for it back. He already lost Robby. He can't lose Miggy too.

Miguel doesn't want to be around him for now, despite feeling bad for pushing him away

S3b

When finding out he was paralyzed, it hurt to find out, but at the same time, with his conflicited feelings about karate, he would feel a bit relieved.

I like to think that when the surgery worked, everyone was happy but Miguel because now people are going to expect him to want to go back to doing karate.

Eventually he and Johnny have a heart to heart and make up, though he's still a little bit hesitant on trusting him

he does reluctantly join Eagle Fang and he tries to make an effort to train again and get past his fear

Though things still feel like what it was like at CK, which isn't something Miguel is enjoying

Plus him being the only shot they have for the All Valley is putting presure on him, mainly due to Johnny

The scene where he tries to kick but fails happens

He falls and flashbacks of the school fight happen

He gives up and says he isn't doing karate anymore

That is until the finale fight when CK comes in and fights the EF/MD kids and Kyler beats him up

he remembers why he started karate in the first place and starts fighting again

He chooses to do karate again

S4

Again similar to what we see (Johnny and Carmen, the intro to Kenny, etc)

I think he still feels weird about being back in the world of karate and latches onto Daniel more as a sensei now with the conjoint dojos situation (he's a lot softer on him knowing his situation)

Which pisses Johnny off and makes him jealous (he just misses his kid ya know?)

He tries to make an effort with Miguel but he grows more distant after hearing Daniel's side of the events during TKK

This season could heavily parallel s2 with Kiaz as they're on the opposite sides of the coin now with Robby being with CK and Miguel learning more Miyagi-Do techniques

This could also bring more tension with Lawrusso because of how they're both treating and training him and how Johnny thinks Daniel is taking Miguel away from him

(maybe a fight scene about this idk)

Perhaps Miguel starts feeling bad about pushing Johnny away as he very much still cares about him and sees him trying

Daniel does talk to Miguel about how Johnny does care about him and how he's beaten up about everything and how he wishes he could change everything

This will make the whole "I love you" "I love you, too Robby" scene a lot worse

Miguel feels lost again

The sprain he gets during the All Valley was the final straw for him as he has a panic attack and in a heap of emotions, he leaves for Mexico, not just to find his dad, but to genuinely run away from everything

Also throughout this season, I really wanted to see more of Robby being guilty for what he did during the fight but pushing it away until he sees what Kenny does to Anthony and realizing that history is already about to repeat itself

Also also we do see Miguel talk about collage but brings up that he wants to become a PT (did I take this from someone who reblogged my other rant, yes) and probably want to go Boston University (they have a PT degree program)

S5

Same as we see for the most part

I was hoping Miguel would bring up the whole "I love you" situation but he never did and I wonder why

I wish we saw bits of the car ride home from Mexico and the awkwardness between the boys (there's a good ao3 fic that does this pretty decently)

Perhaps Robby can tell that something is off with Miguel though and tries to spark conversation but the latter refuses to talk to the former because of the school fight

I think the break up should still happen

Both because with everything going on with him, the breakup would just be another stab in the chest, but also because that fucking scene was so good!! Like idk if Mary and Xolo get their flowers for that scene but I'ma need them to get their flowers for that scene

Now he's just this ball of emotions

Johnny still wants to push for the boys to be close since he's caring for both of them now (and ofc the baby) so like in the actual s5, he still tries to get them to talk

Now I would've preferred a heart to heart reconciliation (similar to samtory s6) but since the dudebros would think that's too soft and this is a fighting show, the balcony scene would be fine

Though I do think in a later scene, Kiaz should have a more emotional talk with each other

Miguel just talks about how hard it has been since the school fight and how everything keeps on changing and everything gets a lot for him

Robby tells him that he gets it and confesses how guilty he feels for being the one to put him in the hospital

And then I feel like the rest of s5 can go the way it did

i don't know. maybe this is too convoluted but I do think that the lack of characterization and constant mischaracterization of miguel diaz is due how poorly the writers went about him post s3a imo. i think they could've done something great with him in a way people felt for robby you know? they always randomly bring things up as a way to say "hey he has trauma too" but it's always at the most inopportune times and it always comes off half-assed instead. i love miguel so much because of his happy-go-lucky energy but he has so much wasted potential which is wild to say when he's the main character.

[my-castles-crumbling]

hey cas...........so this is super duper personal so you 1000% do not have to respond to this but um here you go:

i am 18, afab, transmasc transnonbinary and i have to go see a gynecologist bc my body isn't functioning correctly (i get my period for too long too frequently and lose a lot of blood). now i don't typically experience dysphoria about things like my period bc it's just something that happens and wtv, but lately idk if it's dysphoria or just general icky frustration bc my body is not regulating itself and i can't control it. anyway, the whole point of the ask was to ask you if you've been to a gyn and what are some things that helped you feel more comfortable about your body and things you can't control. (and if you don't want to answer any of it or some of it or wtv, i totally understand. this is a super invasive and personal ask and i just thank you for even reading it.

all that aside: i love all of your works, esp trans!regulus! thank you so much for being the aunt of the marauders fandom and just being an amazing person in general!!! sending you so much love to you and your family through the holidays!!!!

Hi!

I have been to a gynecologist, I go every year. I've actually been going since I was 13 because I have PCOS so I've had a lot of issues with my cycle (such fun).

I'm going to put a 'read more' here because I'm sure many people don't want to hear me go on about the OBGYN for ages lol

I think the first thing I'd suggest is to be picky, if you can. I know that's not always possible, depending on your country, insurance, etc, but if it's possible to look into the gyn's policies when it comes to LGBTQIA+ patients, first-time patients, etc and pick a doctor that is accepting in that way, it makes a huge difference.

Along with that, before you go to the appointment, research what to expect. Before my first appointment, I read about exactly what would happen. I wasn't thrilled about everything I read, but I wasn't surprised at all, which was very comforting. Knowing what is coming can also prepare you to know what to ask for. For example, if you don't like hearing certain words for certain body parts, you can ask the doctor to avoid using those words and instead use others.

At the appointment, it's very important to be honest about how you're feeling. The nice thing is, gynecologists have better bedside manner than the average doctor, because they work with pregnant people, so if you're honest about feeling uncomfortable, they'll be more likely to listen. Say how you're feeling, ask questions about what is happening, and as weird as it feels, be very honest. I have had some VERY weird conversations with my gynecologist and there has been no judgement. Trust me when I say they have seen and heard EVERYTHNG, so it is much better to be honest. Along with this, if the doctor is NOT helpful or kind at any point, remember that you STILL have the power to remove consent. You have control over your body. You can tell them to stop, ask for a different doctor, or decide to go to a completely different office. You can ask why something is necessary, or refuse a treatment even if the doctor tells you that you should not. You have control over your body.

After any sort of check-up, make sure to ask questions about the suggested treatment. Ask questions about things that matter to you. For me, I always ask about how new medications might affect my weight, my estrogen and testosterone levels (because I am nonbinary and I don't want my estrogen too high), my mood, and my blood sugar (I am diabetic).

Most importantly, remember that you are NOT a bother. Whatever questions you ask, whatever hesitations you voice, however many times you need to correct people on pronouns or anything like that, you are NOT a bother. This is your health and it is extremely important.

Two more things: if you feel like a doctor isn't listening to you, at any office, ask for the doctor to note their decision in your chart. A written note of their decision can often cause them to suddenly be willing to do more for you. And...how do I say this without saying it. If you need to get a physical exam from a gynecologist and you are worried about...sizes of devices used for the exam? Some gynecologists have a smaller version of the device that you can request. I hope that makes sense...

Good luck! And if you have specific questions about what an appointment is like, you're welcome to DM me! I'll let you know if the questions are too invasive.

[thegnomelord]

I already know what I wanna have tattooed and I'm hoping it doesn't go near any of my scars because I have sensitive skin especially in the scarred areas. It's supposed to be a tattoo dedicated to my father

Yeah I figured, it's just my asks tend to get kinda long because I vomit words where they don't belong (in someone's ask box instead of the many drafts I'm supposed to be posting)

Oh yeah that makes sense. I just remembered you mentioning how Hound was often put in a sort of ring to fight others and if he lost the winners got to do whatever they wanted to him, so I imagined like maybe someone SA'd Hound or whatnot and Makarov saw and thought it was a good idea (sorry if that was too like...unhinged ig?) cuz it would be a power imbalance thing.

Anyways, I'd like to join the cult but I think I'll stay out of the tank, I don't like water

- 🪒

Ooh that's cool! I always love it when ppl have like sentimental tattoos because all of mine will probably end up being bc I felt like it lol.

Lol do I know the feeling about that :D word vomit in my inbox is fine dude!

Nah like, SA definitely did happen to Hound, especially at the start when it was about breaking down his spirit and because he was so weak he couldn't fight back properly. I was just hesitant to say it out right bc I was still trying to figure out if I wanted to explore that topic in my writing and a bit worried if I could write it in a way that didn't sexualize or glorify rape.

After Hound broke was when the sexual aspect of their power dynamic began, before that Makarov didn't touch him mainly because he considered Hound so below him that it was disgusting for him.

Funny enough Hound getting thrown into the fight ring as Hound is worse than when it happened when he was a sergeant, bc Makarov has conditioned him to only crave his touch and anyone else touching him feels like acid on his skin. So atop the ache of displeasing Makarov enough to throw him into the pit, he's (in hound's mind) further disobeying Makarov by being so weak that others can touch him.

Also please don't join the cult, they're trying to awaken Cthulhu my fucking ex and I'd rather not see the fucker again

[mins-fins]

bring it back

&&. you tell donghyuck all the time, but his fists are always so bruised he doesn't listen.

pairing: lee donghyuck x m!reader

genre: weird rejected hybrid thing

warnings: literally fighting, is this relationship safe? idk!!

word count: 1.3k

notes: this spawned while i was reading one of my old old things back from my wp era and i suddenly got inspired.. only reason i chose hyuck is bc hes the first member who came to mind when i thought about writing 😣 im also a little obsessed with him atm.. i sort of left you all with radio silence yesterday, was supposed to post a timestamp but didn't, my apologies isanator nation (like 2 ppl) anw! don't take this too seriously, i don't get into fights and don't know much about fighting, my google search history looks very concerning rn ☺️

"come on! is that really all you got? those hits were weak".

donghyuck sits up defeated, but he doesn't allow for such an expression to cross his face, the last thing he wants to do is look like a sore loser in front of you, though he clearly is with how he got knocked to the ground by a single punch.

he refuses to think about the fact.

you raise an eyebrow at the sight of him catching his breath on the floor, a taunting chuckle leaves your lips, a chuckle donghyuck narrows his eyes at. if you knew sparring meant you'd have to meet donghyuck's piercing glare more than once in the span of five minutes, you would've offered to be his sparring partner much earlier.

you think he looks adorable when he's mad.

"done verbally berating me now?"

"not sure i'll ever be done".

you extend your hand forward, and donghyuck takes it instantly. once you help him to his feet, he gives you a pout, one you press your finger to. "what the hell are you pouting about?" you inquire, and donghyuck's eyes roll.

"you beat me like— five times, y/n".

you scoff lightly, shoving your boyfriends shoulder. "and i'll continue beating you if you don't stop hesitating before every hit" you lean closer to press a kiss to his lips, trying to erase the pout with an act of affection, but he stays pouting.

you snicker as you pinch his cheek, turning on your heel and walking towards your duffel bag on the other side of the room. what can you say? throwing your boyfriend around the room makes a guy thirsty.

donghyuck stares at you for a moment, studying your figure, then groans. "y/n".

"hm?"

you turn back to look over at him, and donghyuck has to stifle his laugh. how is it that you look so harmless right now when you just spent up to almost an hour breaking every bone in his body? he finds it hilarious how quick you can switch tunes. "one more round".

shock gleams in your eyes. "you sure? i thought you were tired.."

donghyuck is quick to shake his head, suddenly filled with an abrupt surge of determination. "yeah, this'll be the last one".

you blink, but you don't seem to mind, because you shrug, dropping your bottle of water and beginning to stretch your arms. "i'm starting to think you like being thrown around, should i note this down as a kink of yours?"

your smile is tormenting,

the good kind though.

"do whatever you want y/n~" donghyuck muses, a sing songy tone of voice accompanying his words. you study his body language for a while, cracking your knuckles. "i'm not letting you win again".

"ah really? you think you're gonna beat me this time?"

"wanna bet?"

you seem to like the sound of that, if the way your eyes light up is any indication. donghyuck's got you, perfect. you scour your mind for ideas, tilting your head as you smile at your boyfriend. "fine then, if you manage to knock me to the ground i'm all yours next week".

donghyuck's eyes widen to a comically huge size. "you serious?"

"slow your roll, baby, i said if you manage to knock me to the ground".

donghyuck clicks his tongue, an acception of the bet you put down. "don't underestimate me so quickly".

"underestimating? i'm just saying what's true, how many times did the sim kid knock you out last week? ten? fifteen? if i didn't know any better, i would've assumed you were weak".

god you're so skilled at this, you know exactly how to hit donghyuck where it hurts, both literally and figuratively. you know exactly what to say, and know exactly how they'll affect him. trash talk is something your so good at, sometimes donghyuck forgets it's all an act.

you know donghyuck can fight better than he actually does, his attempts at punches right now are vastly different to the punches he throws during actual fights. you know he's much stronger than he thinks, but for some reason, he seems to.. soften around you.

it's cute in hindsight, but he's been slacking lately, and you have to get him back on track.

"weak huh?"

"yeah, you going easy on me?"

your posture is relaxed, you don't want to make the first move, your waiting for donghyuck to surge forward and try to hit you. he narrows his eyes, your feet tapping rhythmically onto the floor and your arms crossed. "not a chance".

you chuckle at donghyuck's statement, a chuckle that angers donghyuck. what the actual fuck are you being so cocky about? he wants to wipe that smirk off your face, no, scratch that, he wants to punch that smirk off your face, he's going to make you wish you never said anything.

without saying anything more, donghyuck surges forward, a move you weren't expecting, but one you knew how to deal with already. a right hook, simple, easy to dodge and easy to counteract.

"was that a punch? i bet renjun could throw a better one than that".

donghyuck grits his teeth.

"don't mention renjun".

"oh? am i striking a nerve?"

you are striking a nerve, and donghyuck is about to strike you in the face. he keeps throwing punches, a flurry of hooks left and right, he has to hit you, he will hit you.

you're completely unfazed, the hooks nothing you haven't seen before. you swing your right hand over to parry the hit donghyuck sends you, using your position to your advantage and delivering a punch to his side. it catches him off guard and he winces, reeling back in just the slightest.

you give him no time to adjust, taking his distraction into consideration and surging towards him, a left jab to the side of his stomach. he stumbles back, trying to gather himself as his head spins in dizziness from the hit you delivered.

you let out a small scoff. "come on, hyuck, you have to hit me".

donghyuck grunts, moving forward with a left hook this time. "i'm trying" he grits his teeth, an action that makes you smile. donghyuck gives a small tch at the sight of you smiling, he hates it (that's a lie, he loves it).

you don't even try to hit him back, just continue stepping backward as donghyuck sends hit after hit.

he narrows his eyes, but you just smile again, you're really starting to get annoying. it's then that donghyuck notices something, your legs, he can use that to an advantage of his.

so, without any prior warning, donghyuck punches your lower stomach, a punch you weren't expecting. when you reel back from the hit, he decides to take his chance. an uppercut, a right jab to your side, and a haymaker to the side of your face.

donghyuck doesn't know where all of that came from, but it seems to do the trick, because you have no more strength to continue fighting. you stumble for a moment before falling over, hitting the ground and rolling over as you clutch your stomach.

donghyuck immediately gasps as he sees your state. "holy shi— oh my god! are you okay!?"

you give a tired smile, sending a thumbs up to the air. "i'm alright, that was great, babe".

it's only then that it dawns on donghyuck. "i beat you".

you nod.

donghyuck breathes in and out, he truly can't believe this. "i beat you, holy shit i beat you!"

you chuckle at how excited he sounds, breathless from the blows he delivered to you. "yeah, you did, congrats champ".

donghyuck falls down beside you, flinging his arm over your stomach and moving closer to you. "i get to have you all to myself now".

you raise an eyebrow. "you've always had me all to yourself".

donghyuck giggles. "i know, but i knocked you to the ground this time".

"don't get used to it".

[orange-demons-deactivated2024]

Hi ! I see you’re a fellow Ed enjoyer^^

Can I ask for some Headcannons about Ed with a shy/soft-spoken reader ? It can be the avatar or a random reader, however you prefer

ps: I looove your writing, you’re a blessing to the community

And congrats on getting to your new school 🥳

omg you're so sweet thank you for your kind words! I'm glad I can make a couple people's day with my writing bc I'm def not the best at it.

Funnily enough, if you are shy/soft-spoken, Ed wouldn't hold it against you.

If anything, he does change his demeanor around you.

Your timidness reminds him of the living experiments he's freed in the past, all of which were scared and hesitant around other people too.

So he tries to find a middle ground when interacting with them because of his temper.

And it ended up forcing him to be patient with people with your personality.

Those he considered to be his close friends, had varying degrees of timidness, and they gradually opened up to him over the years. So he knew where to thread when accommodating your needs.

But learning this was still very new to him, so he might sound a bit mean when he tells you to speak up because he can't hear you.

He does want to know what's on your mind and will tell everyone to shut up so you can have the floor.

Your shyness is also why he won't initiate anything romantic unless you do it.

He's going on your terms, so he wants you to make that first step in the relationship.

He didn't think you would until you pulled him in for a kiss during a movie marathon.

And it actually made him freeze.

Not because he wasn't used to this type of affection, but because he didn't think the relationship would ever go this far.

So he guessed this was your way of making it official.

When you two go on dates, he makes sure to pick a spot that isn't full of people, like a corner booth or a record store at night.

Maybe you had other forms of communication other than talking, like listening to music. You would share your headphones with him as you sat in the train station, watching people pass by.

Or maybe you communicated with your fist like he does.

Just because you're shy doesn't mean he thinks you're weak.

Like he said, his friends, who are strong fighters, were shy in the past too. So Ed doesn't compare your demeanor to your strength.

Either way, he gets to see your true personality when you warm up to him.

He won't reject any physical affection you initiate because he knows you have been contemplating whether to do it in your head.

So he just rolls with it.

You may have cues he's picked up on when you don't want to interact with people.

Like the slight tremble of your hands or when you advert your eyes to the ground.

Ed would speak in your place if you didn't want to talk to anyone. But he still checks to see if you're fine with it.

He finds solace in the small intimate moments he has with you behind closed doors. For example, tending to his wounds.

He would hiss in pain when you wiped an alcohol pad along his split lip.

You squeaked a quick apology before going back to address the rest of his wounds.

He likes being close to you, especially when your fingers gently graze his skin.

You didn't give him a lecture because he got into another street brawl like Falke does. Or berate him for letting the other person land so many hits on him like his old man.

You both just sat in comforting silence as you cleaned him up.

He doesn't let people get close to him, much less let them touch him. But since you were, he doesn't flinch at your touch when you show him affection because your movements are slow and gentle.

Ed would let you rest your head on his chest when you two lie down in bed and run his fingers along your back, as he listened to your quiet breaths.

Having downtime to relax like this puts him at ease after coming back from kicking those Shadaloo wannabe's asses.

He does get protective over you because it's people with your personality type that get taken advantage of the most.

And he wouldn't put it past others to do just that if they knew how you would react. Or if you would even react at all.

Ed wouldn't just sweep your feelings under the rug if he knew something was affecting you this much.

So if he sees that someone isn't letting up on you, he'll tell them to back off.

He'll pull you closer with an arm around your waist and say "Hey, don't you have anything better to do? Unless you came here wanting to start something." And it should be more than enough to make them back down with their tail between their legs.

Yeah he sometimes gives you shit for it, but that doesn't mean anyone else can.

But don't get him wrong, he won't hold your hand all the time when you need to speak up for yourself. He'll give you the reins and sit back.

Ed knows you aren't the best in social situations, but he still wants to let you try and experience things on your own.

And if he sees you starting to get uncomfortable, he will step in.

He doesn't think there's anything wrong with you being shy, if anything, at least he knows you're not associating yourself with the wrong crowd. But if you do want to break out of your shell, Ed will find ways to make you do things on your own.

Because as your boyfriend he wants to see you grow into your own person and not regret the life you have with him.

[sinnettini]

rant about mutuals and not mutuals that no one asked for under the read more 😭

you know i love the concept of mutuals as much as the next guy and i love my mutuals it's really great! but sometimes i feel like we put too much importance on it. like there's people i genuinely love and am friends with but i don't follow them on tumblr and it's nothing personal, literally says nothing about how i feel about them. maybe i just don't like their blog organization, maybe they really like someone or something that i dislike, which doesn’t mean we can't be friends but if they post a lot about it i might prefer not to follow them, maybe it's simply one of those cases of i see them in my notes a lot and we've started talking and i always meant to Actually check out their blog to see if it's my thing but i never did, not yet at least (many such cases, believe me, i tend to be hesitant in following new blogs so i feel like i wanna be sure i actually want to and i just procrastinate checking out their blog enough to decide. yes for real!). what i'm saying is that it's not like following someone or not on tumblr says everything about how i feel about them. even people i'm not friends with, but they follow me and i see them often in my activity, i start getting happy when they show up, i read their tags or their replies or asks with fondness in my heart and i totally would be down to become friends, too, even if i don't follow them back. genuinely i attach no less value to someone's presence on my blog, in whatever way that manifests, just bc i don't follow them back. not at all. and it makes me a little sad that maybe people might think i do, or just that i wouldn't want to talk to them bc i don't follow them, or that i like them less than someone i follow. maybe i think you're really really cool. maybe i think you're super funny. maybe i don't really know much about you or have much of an opinion but if i got to know you i'd really like you. and i know that i can be the one to like, talk to people lol i just struggle with messages sometimes, and i'm sure others do too and so they also don't message people and that probably goes double if we're not mutuals. so i get it. and i do get being intimidated or thinking 'oh they don't follow me, i don't wanna bother them' i think that sort of thing too. and idk maybe for some people it is like that, they don't really want interactions with people they're not friends or mutuals with. but like, definitely not me. even just replying to posts or talking to me in the tags or sending asks, which are less effort forms of communication, there is no reason at all why i would not want you to do it just bc i don't follow you! i genuinely probably already like your presence on here if you're like, on my blog considering talking to me. there is seriously a pretty high chance! that i like you, that i know you by name and that i smile if you interact with me. so yeah, just felt like putting this out there

[bestworstcase]

I'm just thinking about your points about Penny and dehumanization and the heroes essentially taking decisions away from Penny while trying to protect her. Penny and Winter don't interact until Penny passes the Maiden powers to Winter in Volume 8. But in 7 - the last time they see each other - Winter buys time for Penny to make her decision with Fria. Which I think puts a neat layer into Penny ultimately saving Winter in the Winter versus Ironwood fight.

You can read Penny being puppeteered as a continuation of the dehumanization and how Atlas treats individuals. And she never really has a chance to fight that personally. The whole Cinder blowing up the evac plan happens first. But Peny being the tipping point with Winter versus Ironwood, especially in the reading that they were both baring the weight together... The thing is it is very very hard to get out of bad situations solo. And Penny did get someone out. I hope this makes sense

what always gets to me is. winter panics when penny rescues her ("what are you doing?! my life doesn't matter!") because it puts fria and the staff in jeopardy. and then not five minutes later she makes what is clearly a conscious, deliberate choice to step back and let fria choose penny as her heir, throwing herself in between them and cinder with her aura still depleted, against ironwood's orders. it's such an important moment bc it reveals that winter absolutely meant what she told penny earlier about wrestling with her feelings because she values her humanity—winter is not mindlessly following orders or blindly self-sacrificial, but she is willing to die for what she believes is right.

(winter is also the reason we know fria's name, because she makes a point of saying fria instead of calling her the winter maiden. which is the moment her break from ironwood becomes narratively inevitable, that rejection of fria's dehumanization)

i think the way penny frames the situation to jaune is really revealing of her perspective on… everything that's happened to her since she became the maiden. in her eyes it snatched away what little autonomy she had; ironwood and the ace-ops pulled out all the stops to manipulate and then outright control her, and all of her friends collectively decided that the maiden power was too valuable and too vulnerable for penny to do anything except go hide somewhere they hoped salem couldn't follow. everyone puts so much emphasis and importance on the magic that when penny is being eaten alive by watts' virus she considers the situation in terms of "i can make sure the powers go to [ruby]."

so when cinder fatally wounds her--and penny recognizes that there isn't enough time to heal her (& there isn't, he had less than sixty seconds before cinder had weiss disarmed on the ground)… "let me choose this one thing."

it's weiss, or winter, or cinder. if jaune hesitates or ignores what penny tells him, cinder kills weiss and then him and then claims the power for herself; if he mercy-kills penny now, penny can make sure the power goes to weiss so that weiss can get herself and jaune out alive…

…or she can give it to winter, her best friend. who for all she knows is already in vacuo right now, as penny has no way of knowing that ironwood is free or that winter is in danger.

in many ways, winter is the wrong choice in that moment; weiss and jaune are in danger, cinder has both relics, and without the magic weiss doesn't stand a chance. winter is not here, and penny has no idea where she is--or even if she's still alive!--so the pragmatic choice, the "correct" decision, the thing she "needed" to do, was make sure the magic went to weiss.

penny's whole arc in atlas is about the unreconcilable conflict between what she needs to do and what she wants to do, and in the end--forced by horrible circumstances to make a binary choice--she chooses to do what she wants. to follow her heart. to think of her friend. to take a small moment of peace and happiness for herself by saying goodbye to someone she loves very dearly.

and that's the moment of triumph over ironwood, who saw his own humanity as his greatest weakness!! penny choosing to do something for herself, because it's what she wants. in coldly rational terms it was the wrong choice, but thematically it was the right thing for penny to do--the human thing--so it saves not only winter but also weiss and jaune, too (although both of them do fall, because penny took a risk and a central theme of V8 is that risks don't always turn out for the best).

it's such a well-constructed tragedy. and it's thematically so important that penny choosing her friend over her 'duty' is the only reason winter survives, bc that final battle between ironwood and winter symbolizes the ideological conflict of the atlas arc--is human feeling strength, or is it weakness? has he made hard but necessary choices or has he sacrificed everyone and everything that truly mattered?--so of course penny's humanity is his undoing.

[courtmartialme]

Basic compliment but I just wanna say I LOVE LOVE LOVEEE your RoyAi. It's so easy to find your art if someone looks up royai, and that's well deserved. I love your art style so much! And I love your Royai no matter what EVERY single au of it. Canon, genderbend, mlm royai or anything else (also I kinda can't believe someone thought of tmasc riza before me but I'm a newbie here so there's a lot of catching up to do) and I have so many other ideas like wlw or t4t het royai with tfem roy would be v cute methinks but those are roy-centric so I'm a bit hesitant to share more…anyway sorry for the yapping I don't really have anyone else to talk to about royai but uhh basically I love ur drawings!!!

aw thats very sweet whaddahell .. thank you it makes me happy to read that..!! but also put some respect to my name i've been around for a while ofc i'd have transed my beloved at some point..

i can't say i haven't thought of those other ideas too and even gotten requests to draw them but i'm personally not really interested and don't wanna draw just for the sake of it. the ideas aren't like inherently roy-centric imo but if i drew it i probably wouldn't share bc i'm scared it'd be made about roy in the interactions and that would annoy me LOL (<-spineless)

anyway i know i'm annoying about it in my accounts but it's because they're my personal corner in the sandbox where i only want the things i like there. but i don't bite so if you wanna talk to me about ideas feel free to. the worse that can happen is my reply being underwhelming or a little bitchy lol

[manicplank]

The Color Pink (Part 10)

Uhhh this one took me a while to get to bc my brain went on vacation.

Hazel had been on cloud nine since her last date with The Noise. Even though it had been days, it felt like it all happened yesterday. For some strange reason, life felt completely different. She found herself smiling a lot, especially when she thought of him. She was itching to see him again, but she didn't want to seem clingy. However, she couldn't seem to contain herself. It had been so long since she felt a love like this, and she wanted to cherish every moment. She paced back and forth as she waited for their usual 7 o'clock phone call. The phone rang, and she picked it up without hesitation; "Hi, Theo!"

"Hey! How-"

"We should go on another date!"

He chuckled. "Eager, aren't we?"

"Yeah, I am. Sorry," she laughed nervously.

"I mean, I don't disagree."

"Great!"

"What were you thinking we do?"

"Um... I didn't think about that."

"I don't have any ideas."

"Hmmm..."

They went silent for a minute.

"Oh!" Hazel said, "I got it! Why don't we go stargazing? There's an opening in Picnic Park where you can see the stars!"

"How... How does that work?"

"What?"

"How can we see the stars when we're in a tower?"

"I don't know. I try not to think about it too much, it gives me a headache."

"That's fair."

"Do you maybe want to do it tonight?"

"That's a little short notice. I'm also kind of tired."

"Right, right, right. Sorry. I'm just excited to see you."

He chuckled again. "It's okay. If you want, we can do it tomorrow night, though."

Hazel hummed in thought for a minute. "Oh, yeah, that actually works out better. I'm not opening the cafe tomorrow."

"How come?"

"I want a three day weekend. I need some time off."

"That's understandable. I do that every now and again. I can set my own hours sometimes. It has to be approved occasionally. There was one time I took a week off because I just didn't feel like going to work."

"Really? That sounds... nice."

"It is, but I got so behind. It was bad. So yeah, that's why some of my extra days off need to be pre-approved."

"I try not to take too many days off. I guess it really doesn't matter much since I don't get a lot of customers."

"Hey, what did I say about that mindset?"

"I know, I know. I'm just saying. As much as I enjoy The Vigilante's company, it gets a little tiring hearing him rambling on and on about justice and this and that."

"Ugh, you deserve an award for dealing with him so often. I can't stand that guy."

"He's uh... He's an acquired taste."

"He suuuuucks!"

"Oh, be nice."

"That's not really my thing."

"Mhm, okay. I call bullshit."

"Yeah? How come?"

"You're nice to me."

"Only to you."

She let out a small giggle. "I believe that."

"I hate to cut it short, but I'm feeling really tired. I'm probably gonna make some food and head to bed."

"Okay. What time do you want to meet up tomorrow?"

"How about 8 or 9?"

"Why so late?"

"I thought you wanted to go stargazing."

"Oh! Right!" She laughed.

"Okay, well... Goodnight, Hazel."

"Goodnight, Theodore."

-

Hazel had suffered through the anticipation of the whole day waiting for their date. The day went by so slowly. She felt as if she was stuck in waiting mode. She got ready in something casual. She left her hair as was. She put on a cute pink Hello Kitty t-shirt with some straight leg blue jeans and white sneakers. She felt that she had been overeager to see him, so she wanted to dress to impressive. Play it cool, she thought.

She called a cab and headed down to the Gnome Forest. She walked over to Picnic Park. She saw some goblins that looked unusually like The Noise. She actually thought one of them was him, but when she called to it, it didn't respond. When she got to the park, she saw The Noise waiting for her. He was wearing a black t-shirt with a yellow bomber jacket and blue jeans with black Vans. He ran up to her and picked her up with a spin. She laughed as she held on to his shoulder.

"Hey," she spoke through laughter.

"Hi," he chuckled. "I was waiting for you." He put her down softly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be late."

"No, no, I got here kind of early. We didn't specify whether we were meeting at 8 or 9 so I got here at 8."

"Sorry."

"Stop apologizing! It's not your fault."

"Okay, okay." She giggled. "Here," she grabbed his hand. "I'll show you where the opening is."

"Heh heh..."

"What?"

He snickered. "Nothing, it's just the way you said that."

She smiled and shook her head. "You have a dirty mind."

He cackled as she tugged his arm. They came to a small area of grass. Above them was an opening in the trees that showed the night sky. Amazingly, the stars were bright and abundant. There were so many of them, which was funny considering they were inside a tower. Hazel looked at him and smiled when she saw him looking upward. "This is the spot I was telling you about."

"Yeah," he looked at her. "You weren't kidding."

"I mean, I haven't been here in a while. I really don't have to. If I want to go stargazing, all I would have to do is look at you."

He blushed and rubbed the back of his head. "Stop... I'm not that famous..."

"Are you kidding? You're like the most famous person in the tower. I think more people know you than Pizzaface."

"Whatever," he poked her, and she giggled.

Hazel sat down and so did Theo. They laid down slowly and looked up. The sky was pitch black, decorated with sparkling stars of white, red, green, and blue. The stars in the tower were so different from the stars outside. They had all sorts of different patterns and shapes.

"I remember," Theo spoke, "when I was a kid, we went to a planetarium as a school field trip. It was really cool."

"I went to one, too," Hazel responded, "my school did the same thing!"

"We got to see space ship equipment, pieces of space suits and meteorites. Then they took us to this dome room where they had all the stars. They showed us the constellations and told us their backstories."

"Really? I didn't get that experience as a kid."

"Yeah. The only constellation I can still spot is Orion. You can only see it during the winter. Well, it starts in the fall, and that's how I know winter's coming."

"That's really cool! I don't know where the constellations are. I only really know what they're called."

"I'm surprised no one's made up constellations for the stars in here."

"We could make some."

"Yeah, we could, but I'm not the most creative."

She looked at him. "Really? You, not the creative type?" She was very sarcastic.

He looked at her and laughed. "I guess I am, but not when it comes to constellations."

"Let's test it out." She pointed at a few stars in the shape of two squares. "How about that one?"

"Uhhh... A book, maybe?"

"Or nerdy glasses."

He chuckled. "That one kind of sucked."

She slapped his forearm. "Be nice!"

"I am!" He laughed.

She sighed, "I guess you're right. Two squares isn't the most impressive thing in the world."

"Hmmm..." He pointed at some stars in the shape of an asterisk. "How about that one?"

"Mmm... I don't really see anything."

"It's a flower." He grabbed her hand and traced the pattern with her finger.

"Oh! I see it now!"

He snickered. As she continued to stare at the stars, he turned his head to her. He observed her and how pretty she was. He scanned her from her head to her toes with a smile on his face. He was completely enamored by her. This beautiful girl lay beside him. He thought about how he was originally flirting with her out of lust, but quickly, he fell for her. He had never met anyone quite like her. She was so kind, upbeat, and outgoing. She brought out a side of him that he didn't even know existed. She turned her head to him and noticed him staring.

"Hi," she spoke.

"Hey," he replied.

"Why are you staring at me?"

"I don't know."

"You sure?"

"I... Heh, I don't know that either." He chuckled nervously.

"I have to ask you about something you said."

"Oh?"

"It was, uh... something you said when you were drunk."

His eyes widened, and his heart sank. "Oh..." He didn't remember what he had said to her.

"You told me... Well, you told me that you liked me."

"..." He stared at her in bewilderment.

"What did you mean by that?"

"Oh, well, um..." He looked up at the sky and gulped. "I, uh..." He took a deep breath and sighed. "Hazel... I like you. I like your eyes. I like your smile. I like the way you talk. I like the way your voice sounds. I like how you get excited over the smallest of things. I like how you squeak and hop around when you're happy. I like that you're resilient and don't give up when things get challenging. I like that you're authentically yourself no matter what. I like it when you come around, and I like it when you're there. I like that you treat me like a normal person. I like that you worry about me, like when it was raining and you were worried I'd get sick. I like that you're a bit assertive with me. I like that we call and talk on the phone every day. I like how soft your hands are, and I like when you let me hold them. I like it when we hug. A-a-and I liked it when we kissed. I like that you make me nervous but you also make me calm.

I like you, Hazel. I really, really do."

Hazel was smiling with tears in her eyes. "Wow, Theodore... That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."

He sat up. "I just," he sighed, "I don't want to rush things. I don't want to get my heart broken, and I surely don't want to break yours. I guess, in a way, I'm afraid. I already feel like I don't deserve you, like you're too good for me. You're such a genuinely sweet and good person, and well... To be honest, when I first met you, I was only flirting with you to get lucky. And before I met you, I was basically an alcoholic. I drank before work, after work, in the morning, and before bed. I stopped drinking as much once we started talking. I'm still working on getting my drinking under control. I'm short-tempered and nasty. There's so many horrible, horrible things about me that you haven't seen yet. So many things that make me feel like I shouldn't be doing this with you." Theo sniffled and wiped a tear from his eye.

"Theodore, look," Hazel sat up, scooted next to him, and gently grabbed the side of his face to make him look at her. "I like you, too. I like how nervous you get. I like that you're pushing through that nervousness for me. I like that you care about me. I like that you try to help me out with my business. I like that you make time for me when you're so busy. I like your smile. I like your laugh. I like that you're so silly and goofy. I like that you're truthful with me. I like that you told me about all that.

But you know what I don't like? I don't like how hard you are on yourself. I don't like that you seem to think that you're such a horrible person. I don't like that you see all the good things in me but none of the good things about yourself. There are bad things about me, too. Things you haven't seen yet. Things that you're probably not going to like, things that I don't even like.

I think you're good enough for me. Matter of fact, I think you're even better than that. Come here."

She pulled him in for a hug. He sniffled again and shed a few silent tears into her shoulder. She pulled back to see that he was crying. She put her hands on his cheeks. "No tears," she said ever so softly. "I like you, too. Okay?"

He nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay."

She hugged him again and rubbed his back. She felt his whole body relax in her arms. He felt her shiver slightly and pulled back.

"Are you okay," he asked worriedly.

"I'm fine, I'm just a little cold." She smiled and shrugged.

He took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. "Here."

"Oh, no, no," she tried to stop him.

"No, you're cold."

"But you'll-"

"Hazel." He looked her in the eye. "You need this more than I do."

She smiled and blushed as she put her arms through the sleeves of the jacket. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"I have a pretty good cold tolerance. I'll be fine."

They laid down side by side with their hands clasped together, their fingers intertwined. Hazel felt incredibly warm and safe with his jacket around her. She leaned her head on Theodore's shoulder as they continued to stargaze. They continued to point out silly shapes they noticed in the stars and gave them even sillier names. As the night continued on, things got quiet. Theo got a little concerned. He looked over to see that Hazel had dozed off on his shoulder. He smiled and snickered. He nudged her gently with his elbow to wake her up. She slowly picked her head up. Her eyes were squinted with confusion.

"Hey," he spoke under his breath.

"What happened," she muttered.

"You fell asleep."

She shot up. "Oh, my gosh! I'm so sorry!"

He sat up and laughed. "It's okay."

She covered her face in embarrassment. "I'm not usually up this late." She huffed. "I'm usually in bed super early so I can wake up early for the cafe."

"Do you wanna go home?"

"No! I mean, yeah, but..."

"Want me to take you home?"

"No, I'll call a cab this time. Thanks, though."

"Come on," he stood up and held his hand out. "I'll walk you to the street."

She grabbed his hand, and he helped her up. They walked slowly through the park with their hands held. Hazel was so flustered, she couldn't believe she fell asleep on him during their date! Theodore thought it was absolutely adorable that she felt safe enough with him to fall asleep on his shoulder. He wasn't at all mad. As they strolled towards the street, Theodore stopped her and leaned on a tree. He grabbed her other hand and held both of them.

"Why are we stopping?" She was incredibly confused.

Theodore's heart was racing. His legs were weak and felt like they could give out at any moment. With a nervous smile, he asked,

"Hazel... Will you be my girlfriend?"

Hazel's eyes grew wide and she gasped.

"Oh... My... Gosh!!!" She jumped up and down with her hands still in his. "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! YESSS!!!" She let out a small squeal before she yanked him into hug, still hopping around and giggling in joy. When they pulled away from the hug, she grabbed the back of his head and kissed him deeply. She started to giggle and hop around again, her hands on his shoulders, his hands on hers. Her cab pulled up, and she looked at it before kissing him again.

"I have to go," she said with a giant smile.

"Yeah. I'll see you."

"Bye!" She pecked him on the lips one more time. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. Go home, go to bed." He pat her on the shoulder as she ran towards the cab.

He watched her run off with a giant smile on his face. She couldn't see it, but his face was beet red. He was so happy she said yes. He couldn't believe he finally worked up the courage to ask her. After the conversation they had before, he finally felt secure enough. He was a bit anxious, but he had to take the chance. And he was so glad he did.

That night, Hazel had trouble sleeping. She was suddenly struck with energy and excitement after he asked her out. She paced around her bedroom for a good hour before she settled down to sleep. She realized she forgot to give him back his jacket in her fit of exhilaration. But it was so soft and warm, and it smelled like him, too. She finally laid down, falling asleep while wearing his jacket.

[suddencolds]

3, 12, 13!! for asks

Thank you for the ask!!!! ❤️ These are really good questions, I'm excited 🥹

going to answer #3 last and under the cut because... my answer to it is 📜📜📜📜📜

12. a trope you’re really into right now

from a recent wip: a sick character feeling self conscious about their illness + wanting to hug the other character for comfort, but feeling a little too embarrassed to get too close... their love interest figuring this out and offering up that physical affection with utterly no reservation or hesitance :) ❤️

13. a fandom you’re thinking about writing for

I've enjoyed a lot of media as of late, but nothing has really caught my eye recently in the snz sense. I think it's been awhile since I've been properly into fandom? T.T that said, if anyone writes for Fr//ier//en or Om//nisci//ent Read//er's V//iewpo//int, I'll definitely read it🧎‍♀️

also! There's a book I'm reading currently where one of the characters is... 😵‍💫😵‍💫 (I need him to catch a cold expeditiously). But I'm only like 90 pages in... 360 left to see if he does something irredeemable that turns me off from him 🫡

3. how you feel about your current WIP

ohh my gosh... I'm going to talk about yvverse bc that's perhaps the most on topic for this blog 😭 (I am putting all of this under the cut; please do not feel pressured to read it)

to be honest, I've strongly considered never posting another installment for the series (even though I know—and have known for awhile now—how I want it to end). it's not out of any dislike for the series... actually, I feel like I've gotten (almost) everything I've wanted out of it? the last installment (AO pt2) is something that took a lot out of me... I can say now that writing it felt uniquely like I was putting my heart on the line. in short: 1) I am content with what I have; 2) I'm maybe disproportionately scared of ruining something I'm proud of; 3) writing this series has become quite lonely.

ultimately, I've asked myself many times: in choosing to end the series here, would I be claiming a personal victory, or would I just be prematurely giving up on something I still care deeply about? it's something I've gone back and forth on, that I feel uncertain about still.

when I posted FMT pt1 way back in January 2023, I didn't have any expectations for the series at all. but I think for a year and a half it became the thing I cared about most—it was my first proper attempt at a novel. it was also one of the first times I felt like other people cared about something that felt so deeply personal to me. I think when other people told me they liked it I felt like, I don't know. I felt really really happy, in a way I don't even know if I can properly articulate, and in a way that felt so wholly irreplaceable. I don't think I've felt like that since.

WIP-wise: I have written quite a lot that I don't know if I'll ever post: some of it directly after AO chronologically, some of it much later on. there's a small scene that I wrote that I might post on its own at some point, as a somewhat-detached mini-oneshot? I don't think I will ever post the series ending, but who knows? maybe something down the road will make me change my mind. :') (I am so sorry for using your ask as a jumping off point to unload these thoughts omg... I was thinking of never saying anything, of just silently letting the series sit unfinished. though, I'm not sure if this information is interesting to anyone 😭)

[ Fic Writer Asks ]

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Regarding the split!Kim AU I'm just gonna put my ramble of thoughts out on here.

1. Okay so what events led to Kim wanting to remove his younger self? What inner turmoil, self depreciating nonsense thoughts did he put himself through?

2. Where did Kim find this magic spell and how did he follow through with it without searching for it's consequences/side effects? Did he go down a black hole on the web and found the most reviewed witch/ spell out there to help him? Idk how to words more on this brainrot

3. How long was it till Kim hid what he did and how did young!Kim reach the compound??

4. What all young!Kim must be thinking and what did he do that everyone in the compound realized something was wrong? (Plus I hope Korn is dead in this, he doesn't deserve to be alive)

5. What was Chays reaction to young!Kim and how he takes care of him and spends time with him? (just being the most loving, and Kim feels so touched and full of unknown feelings because Chay?? the love of his life?? accepts and appreciates and treats young!Kim like he's the most precious in this entire world???)

6. Young!Kim's reaction to finding out about Wik? Is he shocked/ surprised/ wonderstruck? In complete awe of himself of the future?

7. How does Kim behave with young!Kim? Is he hesitant at first? But then he sees the way everyone else treats him and has Feelings™ and then thinks (a lot) and maybe something happens like some new stupidass bodyguard shouting at/ hurting young!Kim and Kim just snapping out on him, completely pissed off and in the worst rage he could ever have, completely protecting young!Kim like who tf you think you are?? How dare you??

Okay I think that's all for now, sorry for the spam of Randomness™😅

(yes i typed this up in my notes first so i don't accidentally lose anything.)

Anon darling I'm kissing you on the forehead, you're hitting so many of my story points with these asks! I feel Seen.

I haven't decided what Kim specifically does/feels that makes him want to do this in the first place. Since I started the fic where it's already happened, I just kinda. Handwaved it. But he does comment on the fact that Chay has been pushing him towards therapy, so that's probably part of it. Kim would rather lose all his memories than talk about his feelings. He's also 2 years into dating Chay (which honestly. That's bc I wanted baby Kim to be 13, and aging Kim up to 23 gave me an easy 10 years to work with. Tbh it would work better if Kim were only a few months into dating Chay and he was willing to do anything to Be A Good Person/Boyfriend/makeup for the breakup. BUT I DIGRESS!) Anyway being with Chay makes Kim want to be/feel better, and this is his nuclear solution. It does not work.

I also don't know how he did it! I... hesitate to write white pagan magic in KP fics. Maybe Kim pulled a Porsche and went to a monk for help dealing with his traumas, and ended up with a modified past life ritual that ended up splitting him right down the middle. The most important side effect is the way Kim feels about his brothers now; Tawan trauma happened when Kim was a little older, so the Kinn his child self remembers is still very loving and happy, he hasn't pulled away yet. But for adult Kim, who's memories start when he was a teenager... there was so much distance between him and his brothers, and then he moved out a couple years later, so he feels like they're practically strangers to him. Like really distant family that you only see at weddings and funerals. Meanwhile kid!Kim is a precocious little smol who's cuddling both of them whenever he can. (Khun loves it, Kinn has no idea what to do with it but he loves it too. Adult Kim is jealous but wouldn't know how to accept affection from them.)

It all happens pretty much the next day/couple days later, as of the current time line! Kim goes to the temple and does his thing. Kid!Kim manifests wherever he was when the memory split happens; so he just. Wakes up somewhere in the middle of Bangkok, and has to find his way back to the compound. Meanwhile KimChay are living in his condo, obliviously going about their lives. It takes a while for Kid!Kim to get home, then he's sneaking all around because things are different and he doesn't understand why (and he keeps stabbing people, but like. stabby the Roomba more than murder); Kinn has to find him/calm him down/get Porsche involved and figure out what's going on before anyone thinks to call Chay (who's been busy having sex with adult Kim lol)

Korn is dead! Bc I'm lazy and didn't want to think about all the terrible things he could do to mess with smol Kim! Like I said, Kim is kind of a feral cat just let loose in the compound, surrounded by people he doesn't know and freaking out a lot, until the guards finally get him cornered in his old room and notify Kinn. Then eventually Chay gets a call from Porsche, and he goes to the compound with adult Kim, and it's a whole Thing.

Chay absolutely adores kid!Kim. He's absolutely feral but he's also a cutie pie, and he gets a crush on Chay quick. Chay loves it; he was such a lovestruck kid with Kim, now it's his turn! (And he teases adult Kim soo much about how he like likes him >,<). Adult Kim is weird with his younger self at first, bc as far as he's concerned, this may as well be a random child. So Chay schlorps him up quick bc the poor kid needs love. And Kim does come to appreciate the way Chay takes care of his younger self (he has some very odd memories about it when they're eventually reunited.)

My goodness, young Kim is so excited. At that age, he had all these dreams about the life he wished he could have, but he never thought it would really happen. But he got away from his father, he gets to chase his dreams of making music, he has a (very cute!!) boy that loves him, that he gets to love in return. It's all his dreams come true. Again, Chay thinks this is adorable, that Kim was such a dreamy little kid. (Kim is also so excited when he finds out that!! Chay lets him write songs about him!! that's so cool!!! And Chay writes him songs too!?!?!)

Like I said, at the start kid Kim may as well be some random child, he's vaguely curious about what happened but has no personal investment (kid Kim might be. a little. heartbroken about that. He's very sensitive.) But overtime Kim warms up to him, learns how to love him and take care of him. It's seeing this as someone else, rather than himself, that allows him to "forgive" himself. It's easy to blame himself for all the bad parts of his life when he's not looking that poor kid in the eyes. And bc I think cuddles are important, and Kim definitely wasn't hugged enough as a child, there's many snugs. There are still Mafia Things going on around all this that Kim has to deal with, so kid Kim spends a lot of time with Chay and his brothers, but there are a lot of times where he's asleep between KimChay. He kind of is like their kid in some ways. It's an odd dynamic for Kim, especially when he gets those memories of being cuddled by himself and Chay?? But ultimately it's a good thing for him. (Except the Porsche memories. He doesn't want those 😤)

These were so much fun, thank you for sending them!! I love talking about this AU <3<3<3

[oreniaa]

About me!

Find me on ao3! I have works in: (✅ means that these works are completed and that I am not working atm on works in this fandom even if I have a bunch of ideas)

Dexter (1+) - writing, expect multichaptered fic to begin soon

Stranger Things (1) - spontaneous updates (2/3 times a year)

Top Gun (1) ✅

Star Trek (1) ✅

Hannibal (1) ✅

Sherlock (1) - spontaneous updates, writing

Works planned in: the Primal Hunter (several slash + angst), Dungeon Crawler Carl (gen whump), Pkciv (one-off for someone 🤭) Hi, so I'll be putting things about me (fandoms, fun facts) here. It will probably get updated sporadically, but anyways if you have any specific recommendations for books or shows, etc then don't hesitate to ask me :)

Also!!! I take fic requests :) I’m in a bit of a writing block, so just request a fic from any fandoms below OR any you like which I may potentially be involved in!

Fandoms:

TV Shows (not obscure)

Hannibal - I am pretty familiar with the show, I'd say I'm not an expert but I'm no beginner either

Sherlock BBC - OMG I LOVE THE FANDOM, I have so much head canons but I can never get to writing :(

House MD - i love myself some malpractice MD :D

Merlin - used to be more obsessed, but I still love it, especially soulmate AUs

Psych - YES THE BEST, I've recently started watching this but I really love it

Stranger Things - I have watched all seasons & ofc, I AM A BYLER WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT NO IM NOT DELUSIONAL

Star Trek - mostly TOS & AOS, and I REALLY dig Tarsus IV, Academy pics and Spirk childhood friends w/ Tarsus

Books & such (not obscure)

The Inheritance Cycle - read all the books and halfway thru Murthag & i am really sad that there's not more fan work about this series :(

Fractalverse - YES I DIG IT SO MUCH ITS AMAZING, Kira is so badass, I love her, and there's barely any fan work on this, so... give it a try?

Grishaverse - decently into this, I have a lot of head canons but not much time to write anything bc I procrastinate too much

Obscure stuff

Lupin (the Netflix series) - I NEED MORE MORE MORE, in my head Assane, Benjamin and Guedira are in a throuple because why not

B13 (District 13) - I watched it once and... what if Damien was a trans guy? I see it.

LitRPGs

note: I have too many good litrpg series that I am reading. I have read most of the mainstream litrpgs, so you can hit me up whenever about that

Dungeon Crawler Carl - **IF YOU HAVEN’T CHECKED IT OUT THEN DO IT** in the process of writing an angsty whump!Carl fic hehehe

HWFWM - I adoreeeeee! There’s just so much humor, angst and of course an MC with dark powers :D

(on a tangent here about HWFWM, i image this clive/jason oneshot 5+1 which is basically 5 times people didn’t know who clive’s wife was + 1 time they did)

Reborn as a demonic tree - YES.

Tree of Aeons - yeyy.

Cradle - obv yes

Primal Hunter - love it! (however, I do hope that Jake doesn’t end up with a harem bc it’s not rly my cup of tea) ++ I unironically ship Jake with the Fallen King. In my lil AU, the fallen king’s nickname is Green :D

Other writing:

I write poetry mostly but I do some original stories, and occasionally I will try out playwriting or some other media

my writing is usually depressing and dark, which is exactly why I feel I can write well - so don’t hesitate to hit me up on that! I’m welcome to any discussion :)

tell me if you want me to post some original works!!

Fun facts:

I can do the 3x3 Rubik's cube in 30s

my method to write is just to put depressing adjectives next to random nouns, tweak it a little... and there. p o e t r y

that's all :)

[lillotus17]

Kingdom 2

So i know the line up for 'Road to Kingdom 2' is out although im not 100% sure it's confirmed(?)... for those who don't know the lineup is: Cravity, Xikers, ATBO, THE NEW SIX, YOUNITE, and 8TURN... i heard rumours and mentions of tempest but im not too sure. I also know that there are fans that are against road to kingdoms for a multitude of reasons that are definitely valid but as a multistan I can't help but be a little excited for the awesome performances and idol interactions we're gonna get!

anyways, I knos that the show hasn't even aired yet and I'm getting ahead of myself but here's a list of groups I think will be in Kingdom 2 and why! Mostly 4th and 5th gen groups listed! BUt lmk what yall think too!

ZEROBASEONE

For starters Kep1er was on queendom 2. They started off with a strong debut so I definitely see why they would. I don't really have too many reasons for them it just makes sense...? Only downside is that they have to go through another survival show...

2. TREASURE

Honestly for a YG group, treasure is pretty underrated. I think they'd have doubts about participating on Kingdom 2 because tbh it didn't really go well for iKon but I think the leaders of treasure would push an encourage the members to do it. Especially since YG is ass at promoting and they haven't had a comeback in 9 months. I think they'll definitely have a comeback before kingdom and during kingdom. And although they are underrated they are still well-established. Also victims of a survival show...

3. BOYNEXTDOOR

BND is possibility. I feel like because they're under hybe people don't see the need for them to participate but I also feel like they'd want to try something different or challenging since they are still a pretty new group.

4. P1HARMONY

with my whole heart and soul they'd fuck. the. stage. up. I feel as though this is also a very well established group but kingdom would give them an opportunity to better express their creative idol outlet. I think they'd also be hesitant since SF9 participated but they'd also like to try something new/different!

5. NCT WISH

also a maybe group. they are newer so I'd see why they'd participate but they are under SM so i'd feel their fanbase would be bigger but because they are a japanese centered group it would give them an opportunity to promote more in korea. I also feel like they'd do it to prove something - becasue they're new but they also want to show off they're own talents within NCT. PT3 OF VICTIMS OF SURVIVAL SHOWS...

6. &TEAM

Another victim of a survival shows.... also another maybe group. I also think they'd use this as an opportunity to promote more in korea, also try something new and challenging. I think it would also pave way for them to express their artist creativity. I say maybe because they are under hybe but i guess that's probably besides the point?

7. CIX

TBH IDEK i just feel like they would? I am more of a casual CIX listener. Seeing as they are a, imo, well known group I think they'd also do it for the opportunities. They are really talented. I started listening to them bc of jinyoung (wannable) but after watching YGTB i started to get into them more bc of seunghun and bx too... they're also three victims of survival shows... ATP i guess i have a type...

7. AB6IX

ehh tbh idek either... i guess similar to CIX since they are a 4th gen group too. Daehwi and Woojin... more victims...

8. RIIZE

HUGE EMPHASIS ON THE MAYBE. Only really put them down because they're 5th gen. with them I also see it as a creative outlet opportunity and something to prove. like yes we do have talent and our success is not bc of the company we're signed under.

9. TEMPEST

if they aren't on RTK2 then I feel like they'd be on kingdom 2.

10. TWS

cause they're also new? also an opportunity for a comeback.

TBVH i did think of groups that most definitely would not participate but that's due to a number of reasons and in all honestly I'm terrified of fandom wars breaking out.

LMK WHAT YALL THINK! YUHHH!

[fatuismooches]

Hello smooches, its been a while since i popped up here. Been busy with school since i missed like a whole semester bcs i was hospitalized 💀 now i have to catch up with everything.. (pls send help-) anyway, I hope u and the others are doing well 🙏💞

Also, i want to share a very messy Capitano brainrot or a very random thought that have been plaguing my mind for the past few weeks 💀 and its about him having separation anxiety (or fear of losing someone he loves), especially towards *cough* fragile!reader *cough*

I know it is VERY ooc of him, but to me just the thought of someone like him having that just tug a string in my heart 😔

Just think about it, that man must have been through a LOT before he became known as the strongest individual in teyvat and being feared by many people, even being called a monster bcs of how strong he is when he is on the battlefield. Even how bloody his hands are, there's still "someone" (cough reader cough) who really cares/loves him, accept whoever he is and makes him happy. But suddenly that person fell sick and their health keeps deteriorating everyday while he doesn't know what to do to make his sick lover better? (Sure, he can protect reader from any harm. But, can he protect them from getting unknown disease?) Don't mind me, i'll just lie down here and cry-

Also i have this scenario in my head, like the way he walked so fast as soon as he finally touches the front door of their shared home when he came back from expedition just to find reader. He NEEDS to see them with his own eyes, even though all of his subordinates and their house attendants already told him that reader is fine on the letter he recieved everytime he asks how's the condition of his sick lover.

The moment he sees reader, weakly trying to walk towards him to welcome him, he just basically grabbing onto them and hugged them and they can hear tiny quiet aborted breaths coming from under his.. Helmet(?), mumbling breathy words that sound jumbled together but due to their proximity they can vaguely make out a 'it's okay, they're here, they're still here.. and alive.. and not gone..' Reader, after hearing that and seeing him like this for the first time, it really made their heart squeeze painfully and hugged him tighter

Again i'm so sorry if this doesn't make any sense, i really need to get it out of my head ASAP but i also tried to make it as not messy as possible 😭😭 anyways, i really hope that u have an amazing day smooches! 🙏🛐💞

(It seems that everyone already completed Fontaine really fast, and then there's me who barely have time to play and missed some events in 3.8 too 😭 æügh- rip primogems 😔 also, Neuvillette.. the temptation of wanting to pull for him is too strong after seeing his drip marketing 😩)

-🥝

🥝 ANON!!! OH MY GOD I MISSED U SM. I WAS WORRIED BUT IM SO GLAD YOU’RE OKAY. Ahh that sounds really stressful I hope you’re making sure to rest and take breaks too :( *hugs you* But I am doing well, thank you 💞💞

But OUH. YOU RETURNED WITH SOME HEART-BREAKING DIDNT YOU 😭. Noooo the way you described his past makes me so sad :( Yes, there are a lot of people who respect him, but of course there will always be people scared of him. His great reputation won’t stop rumors from floating around, but he’s come to accept that. Especially when he has someone as lovely and kind as you, who shows their love without a moment’s hesitation, what other people think doesn’t really matter. Really, he’s come to value your opinion so much, he always takes what you say seriously even when it’s so obvious you’re joking.

OUCHHH I CANT EVEN PUT IT INTO WORDS. He’s so used to fighting things, things that have a physical form of course. That’s how he can protect you. But what can he do when sickness has no form? What use is he when he can’t cut through what’s ailing you with his sword? His hands are made for battle and killing but there is nothing he can kill that would make you better. 

Well now you’ve got me thinking about that too 😭 When he walks in he doesn’t even acknowledge his staff, just walks straight to your room to make sure you’re okay. I feel like the Fatui soldiers in his squad have grown to the point where they try to get everything done as soon as possible just so their captain can have even just a moment more of time to spend with you.

He would get so worried just seeing you out of bed, his heart rate would spike for a second and quickly support you and get you back to bed. But first he would just hold you tight, enough so that he can hear your heartbeat, feel your warmth and pulse, and know that you’re still truly here with him. He just needs to know you’re alive, he often finds his hands near your chest and wrist, to feel you breathe in and out. It’s really comforting to Capitano considering how he deals with death every day. After those few words he lets out, you know he didn’t mean for you to hear them, but now you have and you’ll do your best to reassure him. Just guide his big hand to your heart and let him feel the beat of your heart, how as long as he’s by your side you’ll swear to keep it beating for him :(

THANK YOU FOR THIS 🥝 ANON I’ve been missing Capitano a lot and your brain rots with him never fail 😫For the sake of my heart fragile reader got better thank you very much <3 And don’t worry about Fontaine or Genshin in general! It’s not going away and you should focus on yourself and your life first :) But when you do play I promise you’ll have a great time, Fontaine is very pretty and relaxing :) (Yes… join me in pulling for Neuvillette >:)))

[pasteleclectic]

hii, I've been reading your fanfic the lawyer's secretary for a while now, and I was just wondering if you were planning to keep writing it or not. I don't want this to sound demanding I'm just curious because I reaaally llike the story. Sorry for bothering you :)) 💗💗

Hii! No I appreciate you checking in on it🤍

I feel bad bc I know some people have been waiting on an update. I have been working on it slowly but I sometimes get insecure with my stories and feel like I’ve taken on too much. Like I know I left y’all on a big cliff hanger and I still really wanna finish the story as a whole but sometimes I’m like “is this stupid? Too melodramatic? Are people gonna be disappointed with the ending?”

I did need a break after writing over 80k words for this story but I never intended on it being this long. It’s also hard bc gege hates us and has barely given us anymore higu in over a year now 😭 it goes back to my insecurities cuz what if we learn more about him in the manga and I completely mischaracterized him? Idk I just get in my head too often. BUT I do have about 10k words down for this chapter already (it’s probably gonna be close to 20 by the end😩) but since you’ve been so patient and kind I will add a snippet of the beginning of chapter 11 here. I hope it will help for now!

———-

Tw: physical assault, guns, kidnapping

The sound of your rapid pulse was drumming in your ears, nearly drowning out all your other senses until the phone in the stranger's hand rang again. He groaned before leaning over to press the button on the door handle right beside you, the tinted window rolling down to reveal the city streets. They were completely desolate at this hour, giving the man across from you the perfect opportunity to chuck the phone out the window without any hesitation. The vehicle was moving too fast for you to hear it, but based on the sheer power he put behind his throw, you knew that the phone was as good as gone. Watching him rolling up the window right after felt like your last tie to Hiromi being severed - along with your freedom.

You could’ve tried screaming while the window was open, but there was no point when Toji was casually holding a gun behind your head. Instead of pressing the end of the barrel against you like he had in the parking lot behind the temple, he leaned back in his seat lazily with an arm outstretched over the bench seat, the gun resting somewhere close behind your head. He couldn’t be bothered putting up a defense towards you, that's how weak you were to him.

And he wasn’t necessarily wrong. Like many other women, you’ve imagined before what you would do in tense situations like this. You always thought that you’d might be braver, fighting till the bitter end in hopes of making it out alive. But it was easy to feel a sense of control when it was only ever a fantasy. Here in the real world, you knew that any fight you put up would probably come back to you tenfold. They haven't hurt you yet, but that only made you more nervous for what's to come.

“Switch seats with me.”

The man across from you was speaking to Toji, and the taller man stood as far as the vehicle's roof would let him before the other man slipped in his place. Now he was right beside you, much closer than Toji had been. And though you couldn’t see him brandishing a weapon like his now seated partner was, that didn’t mean you weren’t any less terrified of him. You pressed your back up against the car door as you looked him up and down with frightened eyes. In the absence of words that couldn’t escape your dry throat, you used your body language to signal to him to not come any closer. Yet something to that lit a fire behind his eyes, like he had spotted a long awaited prey he was hunting for sport.

All the sudden he grabbed your face roughly in one hand, pulling it forward till your hands had to grip the leather seat between you just so you wouldn’t fall over. He turned your face from side to side, inspecting you closely. Any attempt to pull away from his grasp only made his grip grow tighter. He only let go after he squeezed your cheeks together till your lips were scrunched up, chuckling deeply at how humiliated you looked. It was so dehumanizing that you didn’t even want to give him the satisfaction of another reaction, returning his sharp grin with a blank stare. That seemed to only amuse him more, a laugh falling from his lips as he said, “Oh you’re fun, aren’t you?”

From this up close, you could see the ink lines traced all over his face. They gave him an even scarier disposition, but there was also something familiar about him. It was hard to tell what shade his hair truly was under the car’s dim interior lights, but flashes of streetlamps showed shades of dusty rose over a dark undercut. Either than that, everything about this man was new to you. You tried to think back if maybe he was a client of Hiromi’s in the past, but nothing came to light. He had a smaller stature than Toji but was far from frail. You could see the outlines of his veins beneath his skin from where the sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled up. But before you could look at him any further, the car pulled up to the front of a tall gate. It seemed to border some kind of private property, and your anxiety only got worse as you watched the gates close behind you once the car drove past a group of security guards operating the gate.

When it finally came to a stop, it was within seconds that the door opened up beside you and you were greeted with the sight of an unfriendly face that belonged to what had to be another one of this guy's henchmen. Without a single word, he grabbed you roughly by your forearm and yanked you out of the car so hard that you nearly fell on your knees. He pulled you up before they could hit the ground, but you winced as a shooting pain went up your arm, his blunt nails digging into your flesh. You turned your head back to shoot him a look from over your shoulder, but just when you had, you felt the man’s hand slip away as a loud thud sound could be heard against the side of the car. Your eyes widened as you turned to see the tattooed man holding up the offender by the neck, his elbow digging into his jugular. The man gave desperate apologies through thick coughs, but that was all ignored as the other said, “Remind me when I said you could touch her?”

The man was incapable of responding, gargling getting progressively worse as his face turned bright red. Though you hadn’t appreciated what he’d done, you didn’t want anyone to get hurt because of you. Finally finding your voice, you were about to speak up when a large form stood between you and the two men, nearly obstructing your entire view.

“It’s nearly daybreak. We should get her inside.”

It was Toji, and though his back was turned to you, you got the sense that he was trying to diffuse the situation. Though you couldn’t see his face from where you were standing, the angry man loosened his grip just enough for the man’s feet to touch the ground again. Without ever taking his eyes off the man - who was now taking in gulps of precious air - he addressed Toji in a hauntingly apathetic tone, “You know where to take her.”

And with that, you were being escorted by your once friendly acquaintance towards a large building. You didn’t want to follow him per se, but you also didn’t want to be near this maniac any longer. It was still dark out, but even now you could tell that this place was massive. The bordering gates that surrounded the place were so long that they disappeared past your line of sight. Not knowing what was inside the house felt almost as intimidating as not knowing what lay outside. How big was this place exactly? Were all the fences spiked? Did your capture own all of it? These thoughts and more flooded your brain at lightning speed till they were interrupted by the sounds of fists meeting flesh.

It was all happening behind you, right where you and Toji had left the two men. You stopped in your tracks but a hand on your back guided you to move forward. Over and over the man’s coughs and pleas were cut short by the sound of connecting flesh. There was a crunching noise that sent a shiver up your spine, and you shut your eyes tightly as tears started to well in them. With Toji now a few steps ahead of you, you started to pick up your pace just to get away from the scene sooner. Once you were beside him, you almost ventured a look behind you, but he must’ve noticed your watery eyes and said with a straight face, “It’s better if you don’t look.”

Taking his advice, you silently plead for anything out there to stop what was happening. But the nightmare persisted till a loud, wet thud sound rang out before the sound of a weight falling to the ground could be heard. Grave silence followed, and you held back a sob as you reluctantly stepped inside the house.