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mintkookiess · 1 year

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If Only.

Worst mistake to write angst while listening to a sad playlist oh my god I kid you not, I started ugly sobbing during the climax that I needed a quick break before continuing. Don't mind me, just gonna sulk in a corner for a while.

Love,

Mint

Summary: Hanahaki disease. That’s all I’m placing here.

Tags: Miles Morales x reader, Hanahaki disease, angst (no happy ending again), death, don't forget your tissues, not proofread, maybe I'll do it later

Warnings: Major character death, mentions of blood

Your eyes pried open on another normal, already dragging, Tuesday morning. The alarm clock on your bedside table wasn’t even loud enough to wake you, seeing as how you slept through it. You carefully laid to your side, as the all-too-familiar cough climbed up your throat. This went on for a minute until you see a small pile of petals on the floor.

“Shit…” You muttered to yourself, groggily grabbing the glass of water that you’d already prepared the previous night like always. This was the normal morning routine for you.

Wake up. Cough those stupidly red petals. Get through the day. Cough even more petals. Go home. Sleep. Repeat.

On this particular morning, however, it was quite different because you could hear the voice of your best friend outside your dorm.

“Hey, you awake yet?” Miles asked, knocking softly to make sure he doesn’t wake you if you were still asleep. You always thought that was kind of him.

You forced yourself up and out of your bed, shoving back the blankets then dragged your feet to open the door.

“I’m awake. Why are you here? Thought you’d be waiting at the school entrance like usual.” You said huskily, still with that morning voice. Your best friend shook his head, “I kinda woke up a little early today so I thought I’d come to pick you up from your place instead.”

You couldn’t help but smile.

He was just too good for you.

“Fine. Let me get changed at least.” You chuckled, before closing the door in his face. You laid your back against it, sliding down to the floor as you felt that familiar ache in your chest.

In just a few seconds, you started hacking once more right then and there.

Ah, was it because I wasn’t expecting him here this morning?

“H-Hey, you good?” You hear Miles ask from the other side, making you scramble up. “I’m fine Miles just um… choked on my saliva.” You lied. Your hands quickly grab the tiny broom and pan you kept and started sweeping up all the red petals that decorated your floor.

You then threw every single last one in your already overflowing bin. I’d have to clear that out before he sees it.

You quickly changed into some more decent clothes before grabbing your bag and heading out to see Miles laying against the opposite wall of the door, he gave you a small smile and stood up. “Ready?”

You nodded in response, making sure to lock your door before you both head down.

“Oh right, Gwen is actually coming with us to class today if that’s okay,” Miles said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his hair.

You made it like your life’s mission to ignore Gwen at all costs. It was entirely selfish, but it wasn’t like it really did you any favors with your… disease. Miles had confronted you about this a couple of times, but you just came up with lie after lie. You didn’t want to, because you can’t exactly tell him the true reason.

Of course, your best friend knew you were lying, but he just didn’t want to pry because it might make you uncomfortable. And you were thankful for that. Until now.

“Miles—”

“I know I know I just… It was a last-minute thing.” Miles said, trying to reason with you, “It’ll be just this once I swear. I know you’re not exactly a fan of her but, can’t you still try? I mean maybe if you got to know her better—“

“Fine.” You sighed, finally agreeing.

Doctor Sanchez’s words suddenly echoed in your head like a siren that was loudly warning you.

“Stop feeding yourself even more hurt. Ignore, lie, and do anything you can to stop. It’ll slow it down, but not much.”

Oh, how you knew. This was practically engraved into your mind, heart, body, and soul. You said this to yourself so many times like an oath. Avoid the hurt.

But you can’t keep being a bad friend to Miles any more than you already have.

The both of you continued to walk to the lobby of your school in complete silence. Miles could only bite his lip in nervousness, though he just wanted to ask why you happened to dislike Gwen so much, he just didn’t want to make you mad. His grip on his backpack’s straps only tightens at the thought.

What is really going on with you? He thought to himself.

Your eyes stared straight forward as you both reached your destination. It wasn’t long until it spotted the familiar blonde girl from a distance.

Gwen gave a light wave to the two of you as she walked toward where you both were standing.

“Hey Gwen, what’s up?” Miles greeted, his face lighting up in an instant like some Christmas tree in New York.

You forced yourself to look away but still got a glimpse of it.

Why did I agree to this?

Your chest tightened, and you instinctively covered your mouth with a hand. No please, not here. Not right now.

“Um hey…” Gwen cautiously greeted you. She tried to give you a friendly smile to which you only nodded.

Miles could already sense the growing tension and suddenly clapped his hands together. “So, physics class? We gotta bounce or we’d all be marked late.”

“Yeah, we should go.” You mumbled, walking past them while still covering your mouth as if it would stop the cough that was threatening to let out.

Gwen and Miles looked at each other worriedly but silently followed behind you.

You could hear them talk in hushed voices behind you, but your entire focus was on trying to not cough in the school hallways.

The Hanahaki disease isn’t exactly a secret. Everyone knows what it is. And you’d rather burn in hell than have people find out. Especially him and her.

Your other hand clutched your chest as you tried to walk faster because you wanted to keep a safe distance between you and the other two as much as possible before you practically start vomiting those red petals on the school floors.

“Is… she okay?” Gwen whispered to Miles with clear concern. She knew you didn’t exactly like her, she wasn’t an idiot. Gwen believes that it’s because she suddenly entered your two-man friend group without warning when in reality, it was so much more than that.

“Sorry about her…” Miles sighed, his head hung low and a frown decorated his lips. You were his absolute best friend, and to see you being like this with Gwen makes him ache. If only, he could know what was wrong, but he also wanted to respect your space. It has him torn between two cautious choices that could end up in the worst way possible. He just didn’t know how deep the consequences would be.

Other than the different morning you had, it was just like any other day. You were able to stop yourself from coughing for the most part, but if you couldn’t take it you’d excuse yourself to the bathroom, letting out a few petals in the toilet and flushing them away.

During lunchtime, it was usually just you and Miles at the cafeteria, but Gwen decided to tag along once again. So you had the utmost pleasure to see the two joke about and discuss things that you never understood because you weren’t a Spider person like them.

You watched as Miles laughed and smiled at everything she said, and all you could do was mindlessly stab your food in hopes of drowning out and forgetting what you're currently witnessing. However, you immediately started coughing. Your hands instantly flew to your mouth to keep the petals in your mouth.

You gave Miles a panicked look before running out the cafeteria and into the bathroom, immediately vomiting all the petals that had accumulated inside your mouth, and for the rest of lunch, you were stuck there, filling up the toilet with the petals that were such an eye sore to you as hot tears flowed down from your eyes.

Miles had tried to bring it up during the succeeding classes, only for you to turn him down every single time. He finally gave up, but was still worried because he sensed something different about you today.

Your doctor did prescribe you some suppressants for the disease, but you refused it time and time again. Taking those suppressants would make you slowly lose grip on your feelings for Miles.

As much as it hurt you, you didn’t want that.

To hell with those fucking petals, who cares if it’s taking your life little by little every day? Your love for him was too great, too good of a feeling. It was worth it.

It’ll be worth it.

When you asked your doctor how much more time you have left, they didn’t give a direct answer but you knew. You already knew that it wasn’t long. Few months give or take. Maybe even shorter than that.

Once classes were done, you gave Miles your usual goodbye hug before heading out of campus to the hospital for your daily check-up for the Hanahaki disease.

Your doctor did the usual tests, examining a petal of yours, conducting blood tests, scans, etc.

After an hour, she called you back into her office for the results. You were halfway into taking your seat as she already shoots the question that you’d been dreading to be asked.

“Have you been taking your suppressants?”

In truth, you didn’t tell her that the pills were just laying on the floor somewhere in your dorm. You weren’t going to be lectured by your doctor.

“Yes.” You lied, eyes looking everywhere in her office but her. Your eyes focused on this particular vase, where a single flower laid there. It was the same shade of red as yours, making you chuckle.

Before your doctor could start telling you about how important commitment was to the treatment, you start wheezing.

But this time, it felt different.

Your lungs felt like they ran out of air, your throat was like it had been clogged and you couldn’t breathe. Your eyes widened as you took sharp inhales, but for some reason, you couldn’t exhale at all. You fell off your chair and into the floor, gripping your throat, nails digging to scratch your skin from the excruciating pain.

Doctor Sanchez was quick to get down to you, rubbing your back as her face filled with worry. “It’s at its final stage, you have to tell him—“

“No!” You yelled, surprised that you were even able to utter a single word. Shortly after that however, you were back to heaving. Your hand was now in a fist, punching your chest in an attempt to get out whatever it was that was in your lungs.

Your mind started to fog up, and your vision was slowly going black until you saw it.

The fully formed flowers on the ground.

There were no petals, this time they were fully bloomed roses.

They were so pretty that it was almost laughable. Something beautiful was stemming from your despair and suffering. At least there was one thing good happening from your godforsaken disease.

Miles, on the other hand, barged into your dorm to bring the textbooks he borrowed from you, or at least that’s what his excuse was gonna be to you. It was your number one rule that he shouldn’t just come into your room when you were gone, but he could sense something off with you today. Much more than usual. And he was determined to find out.

He had an extra key for emergencies, so he entered without any problems. He took in your room, setting down the textbooks on your desk as he took a seat by the edge of your bed.

She’s not here. He thought to himself, sighing.

As his brown eyes roamed the different bits and bobs around your dorm, he suddenly spotted something behind your desk. Miles squinted his eyes, wondering what it was. “Is that… a petal?” He wondered out loud. He crept up to it, crawling under your desk to grab the petal. “What the…” His fingers examined it carefully until he spotted something from the corner of his eye. There were more.

A lot more.

His eyes slowly widened at the bin of red petals. It was so full that the petals had dissipated around it on the floor. Miles’ eyebrows scrunched up together, wondering where all these could be from until… it dawned on him.

“Hanahaki? But… but how I…” He stuttered. He pulled the bin towards him with shaking hands, inspecting the petals that had a rich shade of red. Almost similar to that of his Spiderman suit.

She… She had this all along and hid it from me I…

He spots another item, it was a pill bottle. Except its contents were scattered, and the bottle itself was cracked as if it was thrown against the wall and fell behind your desk.

Miles picked it up, dreading to see what it was. He slowly turned it around to see the words “Hanahaki suppressants - Y/n L/n 30 pills 150 mg” written in big bold letters that stared back at him.

He drops it out of shock, chest heaving and breaths coming in quickly.

He was confused, so confused about everything. Why would you hide such a thing from him…?

Doctor Sanchez called for emergency assistance, she grabbed the intercom in a panic. “Code blue! I repeat code blue! Medical assistance to room 1304 now! Code blue!”

In a matter of seconds, doctors and nurses have already carried your body to a hospital bed, as roses continuously shook out of your mouth.

Your entire body was flaring up and all you could do was scratch your neck so hard that it almost draws blood. Your nose and ears have started to bleed out, and it was as if your skull was being cut open and stabbed repeatedly.

You couldn’t even form words as the nurses continued to push you into room 1304 for emergency treatment. The people at the hospital looked over in pity and nervousness as they watched the girl with the Hanahaki disease being pushed across the hallway as roses start to flood after her bed like a trail.

Even if it felt like the pain was eating your entire body alive, all you could think of was him.

Please, I need to see him. Even for just one more second, please.

But Miles doesn’t even know anything about this, and it just increases your already large amount of regret.

I should’ve told him. Even though I know he doesn’t like me back, I should’ve told him.

He’s my best friend. And I can't even say goodbye.

But maybe this was for the best. I wouldn't want him to see me in such a pathetic state.

Miles was quick to suit up, flinging himself out of your window in a matter of miliseconds. He didn’t know where to find you, and all he could do was rack his brain on the places that you could be in. As he continuously swung around the city, tears formed in his eyes behind his mask.

He was angry. So angry at himself for not noticing. Furious at the fact that he already knew something has been off with you for the past months, but he didn’t try hard enough to know what it was. He was mad because he just let you suffer alone.

Some friend I am. He thought on repeat.

He tried to use his senses to see if he could pinpoint your location, running and swinging between endless crowds and roads, because something felt terribly wrong.

Miles didn’t know what exactly it was, but he knew.

He had to hurry.

“Time of death… 5:47 pm.” Your doctor read from the monitor in a monotone voice. She wrote down the information with trembling hands. Her eyes crept up to see you on the hospital bed, frozen and still.

The static sound of the heart monitor was so deafening and seemed louder than it normally was. There was a heavy silence in the hospital’s emergency area as everyone present stood still.

Another poor youthful soul had been taken by such a cruel disease.

Suddenly, the door banged open, and there stood Miles who was breathing heavily as he tried to catch his breath.

His brown eyes spotted you and it was as if time had stopped running, as if the world around him disappeared just like that.

Miles slowly took in the sight before him, your doctor who stood by the edge of your bed with a deep frown, you who was laying still, eyes closed. He also tried to process the flowers that filled up the entire floor of the room. These were roses, but he knew their petals.

“I believe you are him?” Doctor Sanchez asked with a poor attempt at a professional tone. Miles’ mouth was still agape in shock, his mind refusing to process what he was seeing as he slowly looked at her. “Wh-What?” The doctor sighed, hugging her clipboard to her chest. “You’re her unrequited love, yes? You’re Miles Morales?”

The poor boy couldn’t muster a single word right now, so all he could do was slightly nod at her. “Time of death was 5:47, the cause is… Hanahaki.” She reported with an aching heart as she sees Miles’ expression.

“I… I never knew until I saw the…” Miles couldn’t even bring himself to say it, that maybe if he didn’t then all of this wouldn’t be true. He took slow steps towards you, each one being heavier than the last as if they weighed a thousand pounds.

It felt as if his heart stopped beating, and his body no longer functioned as he stared down at you. His quivering fingers tried to grab your hand, only to find that it was cold… Too cold…

Right at that second, tears had already started to stream down his cheeks silently. Miles bit his lip hard as he started to harden his grip on your hand. He placed it between both his hands and he rubbed violently.

Maybe if he did so, he’d be able to bring back some warmth into your body. Maybe he’d feel that familiar tingling sensation that he always felt when both your hands would touch. He was silently praying that it was a prank, that he’d feel your fingers wrap around his, and that you’d tell him you were fine.

But it never came.

Your chest wasn’t rising up and down, there seemed to be no more color in your face, no more life. Your lips have turned a faint blue as dried blood surrounded your nose and ears.

He refused to think of what this meant. He wasn’t going to believe it. He… He just can’t.

“But I… I love her too.” Miles hiccuped between tears. He felt his legs give out, making him fall to his knees but the flowers had cushioned him from hitting the floor. Even in this state, you manage to keep him from feeling pain.

Doctor Sanchez’s breath hitched in her throat and she couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. “She thought you liked someone else. She didn’t want you to worry so she hid it I… I’ve tried to tell her that she should confess, to tell you how she felt but she… she was dead set on thinking that… she was never enough for you.” After one last breath, she walked towards the door. “I’ll… give you some privacy.”

Once the door closed behind him, Miles weakly stood up and that’s when it started. He let out the most painful cry so loud that everyone outside the room could hear.

His hands gripped his hair, pulling at it vigorously as he continued to bawl his heart out in agony.

The truth was, he loves you more than anyone in this entire world. He loves you with every fucking fiber of his being, with every cell in his body. All of it was yours, every heartbeat of his was dedicated to you. You were a major part of why he wanted to keep being Spiderman, so he could protect you.

So he could shield you away from any harm or danger.

And yet, he still couldn’t save you.

He started to feel suffocated as he punched the floor with his fists, almost cracking it in the process.

He was so goddamn furious at himself.

He felt like the biggest fucking coward in the entire universe.

If only, if only he had mustered even the slightest of courage to tell you of how he felt, then this wouldn't have happened. You'd still be alive.

Miles was now wailing in anger and pain that he couldn’t even begin to describe.

The realization has finally started to kick in.

He had lost you.

You suffered alone because you thought your love for him was unrequited and would never have been returned.

You didn’t believe in the possibility. But oh how wrong you were.

You didn't see the passion, love, and admiration in his eyes whenever he looked at you. You failed to notice the little things he did for you, like remembering your favorite things, or bringing you to your favorite places.

How he would pluck flowers from the school garden and gave it to you, or maybe even the times where he'd let you copy his answers on a test.

You just thought he was such a good friend.

If only… If only the both of you have tried a bit harder. Maybe then, it didn’t have to end this way.

Fin.

More of my Miles content here babes!

(if yall wanna be on my taglist feel free to let me know!)

#i'm so sorry this was so long #oh my god i'm still crying #i hate this sm pls #miles morales x y/n #miles morales x reader #miles g morales #across the spiderverse #miles morales x you #miles morales angst #angst with no happy ending #atsv fic #atsv

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kylos-starlight · 4 months

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Chase & Rescue

Ship: Caesar x Kaden

Words: 1,411 [imsorry]

Summary: Nothing ventured nothing gained! :3c

cw: A knife is mentioned but never used.

Note: I am basing this meeting on what I know and what I've read. The movie is not out to the wider public yet so until I see the movie myself this is considered a non-canon meeting for my ship. I've just been really itchin' and yearnin' for this boy very much so I had to write SOMETHING! || Orange text = his internal monologue

Okay to rb // If you aren't a self-shipper please dni. I have anxiety ;;

Kaden’s heart pounded in their chest as they darted through the crowded streets. The shouts of the authorities grew louder and louder behind them, their footsteps hit heavily against the pavement, determined. Kaden cursed under their breath, glancing over their shoulder to see two uniformed officers pushing through the crowd. They had been too hasty, too careless. The mark had noticed their hand in his pocket and had yelled out before Kaden could disappear into the crowd of people, their chest burned as they ran as fast as their feet would carry them.

Their purple hair, usually a point of pride, now felt like a sore thumb, drawing unwanted attention. They veered left, slipping into a narrow alleyway, hoping to lose their pursuers in the maze of backstreets. The sound of boots echoed off the walls, growing nearer and nearer. Panic surged through Kaden's body. They had to find a way out, a place to hide but where!?

Just as they thought they were trapped, Kaden spotted an open door leading into a dimly lit building. Without a second thought, they dashed inside, pressing themselves against the wall and momentarily holding their breath despite the strenuous running just moments before. The officers ran past, their shouts fading into the distance and Kaden allowed themselves a brief moment of relief, closing their eyes and exhaling loudly, finally being able to regain control of their breathing but Kaden was far from alone...

He leaned against the wall of the dimly lit alley, watching the frantic figure dart inside. The sound of heavy boots pounding the pavement grew louder, then faded as the authorities ran past. His eyes, sharp and calculating, took in the details of the newcomer—purple hair, light-coloured eyes perhaps green or blue, roughly 5'5". They were breathing hard, their posture tense, and a hunted look in their eyes. He studied them for one more brief moment before finally deciding to break the silence.

“You look like you could use some help,” a deep voice said from the shadows.

Kaden's eyes snapped open, their hand instinctively reaching for the small knife they kept hidden on the back of their belt. A figure stepped into the light—a tall man with short dark hair and piercing brown eyes. He was well-dressed, his tailored suit standing out in stark contrast to the grimy dim surroundings. There was an air of authority about him, but not the kind that came with a badge.

Who is this intriguing person? the male wondered. He stepped forward, making his presence known. As the figure's eyes widened, he saw a flash of defiance and fear, but also a hint of curiosity. They’re not just scared—they’re calculating, thinking.

“Who are you?” Kaden asked, their voice steady despite the adrenaline coursing through their veins.

He saw their eyes narrow, suspicion mingling with curiosity. They’re assessing me, trying to figure out my angle. Smart.

“Caesar,” the man replied, a slight smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “And you must be the reason for all the commotion outside,” Caesar said, his voice calm and composed. He observed their hand move instinctively toward a hidden weapon. Quick reflexes. Good. They’re a survivor.

Kaden narrowed their eyes, trying to gauge his intentions. “Why do you care?”

Caesar took a step closer, maintaining eye contact. “Let’s just say I have a soft spot for people who know how to survive on these streets and you seem to have a talent for it...” he said. There’s potential here, he thought. A raw talent that, with the right guidance, could be very useful.

Kaden’s grip on their knife relaxed slightly. There was something about Caesar that intrigued them, a magnetism they couldn’t quite explain. “What do you want?”

Caesar felt a spark of interest. They’re willing to listen. Good. “Right now?” Caesar glanced toward the open door. “To keep you from getting caught. Those officers won’t give up easily. Follow me.” He turned, confident they would follow. There’s something about them. A strength beneath that cautious exterior.

Kaden hesitated for a moment but then nodded. They didn’t have much of a choice. Caesar led them through a labyrinth of hallways and out a back door into another alley. The city seemed quieter here, the chaos of the chase left behind.

As they moved, Caesar thought about the possibilities. This city is a harsh place, and those who can navigate its underbelly are valuable but there’s more to this one. they’re a fighter, a survivor. I can feel it.

“You seem to know your way around,” Kaden said, their curiosity getting the better of them.

Caesar glanced at them, noting the curiosity in their eyes. “I’ve spent enough time in the city to know its secrets,” Caesar replied. “But I’m more interested in you. What’s your name?”

“Kaden,” they said, studying Caesar’s face. “And thanks, I guess.”

Caesar smiled again, a genuine warmth in his eyes. “You’re welcome, Kaden. But you still haven’t told me why the authorities are after you.” Caesar said, probing gently.

Kaden shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. “Just trying to survive. Picked the wrong pocket today.”

Caesar’s eyes sparkled with amusement. “It happens to the best of us. But you’re skilled, I can tell. How long have you been doing this?”

“Long enough,” Kaden replied. “Look, It’s not something I enjoy doing, but you do what you have to do to get by.” They sighed softly.

Caesar nodded, his expression thoughtful. “I understand. The city can be unforgiving. But there are other ways to survive, ways that don’t involve running from the law.”

Kaden raised an eyebrow almost scoffing in disbelief. “Like what?”

“Like a partnership,” Caesar said, stopping to lean against the wall. “I could use someone with your skills. There are things I can’t do alone, and you could benefit from the protection and resources I offer.”

Kaden studied him for a long moment, weighing their options. There was a risk in trusting Caesar, but there was also an opportunity, but could they trust him? “What’s in it for you?”

Caesar’s smile widened. “Mutual gain, Kaden. I have connections and resources. With your talents, we could achieve much together and perhaps, make this city a bit more bearable for both of us.” They need to see the bigger picture, the opportunities we could create...

Kaden considered his words. The idea of not having to constantly look over their shoulder was appealing. And there was something about Caesar that made them want to take the chance. “Alright,” they said finally. “I’m in. But if you double-cross me, you’ll regret it.”

Caesar chuckled, a sound that was both reassuring and dangerous. He appreciated their fire. “Fair enough. I wouldn’t dream of it,” he said. Trust needs to be earned, but I sense they’re worth the effort.

They shook hands, and the deal was sealed with a firm grip. Kaden felt a spark of excitement, mingled with the undeniable attraction that had been simmering between them since they first met. There was potential here, a chance to carve out a place for themselves in the vast, unforgiving expanse of this crumbling city.

As they walked side by side down the quiet alley, Kaden couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of optimism. They had always been on their own, but maybe, just maybe, teaming up with Caesar was the beginning of something new. Something better.

unbeknownst to Kaden, Caesar couldn’t shake the feeling that this was the start of something significant. There’s a spark here, something more than just mutual survival. With Kaden, we could do more than just survive—

“So, what’s the plan?” Kaden asked, glancing up at Caesar.

“First,” Caesar said, “we lay low for a while. Let the heat die down. Then, I’ll introduce you to some people who can help us. People who know how to get things done,” he replied, already planning their next steps.

Kaden nodded. “Sounds good. And after that?”

Caesar’s eyes gleamed with ambition. “After that, we see just how far we can go. Together,” he said. This partnership could change everything.

Kaden smiled a genuine smile that felt foreign but good. For the first time in a long while, they felt a glimmer of hope. With Caesar by their side, the possibilities seemed endless. And who knew? Maybe they would find more than just survival in this partnership. Maybe, just maybe, they would find a way to thrive.

They just hoped they could trust him.

L-L [voice crack] L-Look everyone.. I did... I did the thing ./////.

@ama-ships || @deathnot-e || @heatobrienswife || @mahitosoulmate || @dragonsmooch || @kylars-princess

#I was y e a r n i n g #Listen- okay- look- if you haven't seen my previous posts about the boy.. I kinda admitted to liking him... A LOT..like A LOT ALOT >//>#WILL THIS LINE UP WITH HIS CHARCTER OR BE OOC AF WHO KNOWS! I'm just basing him off what I've read and seen via trailers! WAH #The Hands Of Time; ⌛#Heartstopper 💞#my writing;

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