#but i’m gonna give it a shot anyways
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i have a dr appointment in two hours and i scheduled a therapy app for monday and i have an interview friday
#suddenly i am the busiest girl#im nervous#i somehow got an interview for the job i was most interested in#but now i’m having second thoughts ..#what if i don’t like it and i take the job and it’s just a big mistake#but on the other hand i just need SOMETHING#especially if therapy goes well and i wanna keep going#it’s a telehealth one which isn’t what i was hoping for#but i’m gonna give it a shot anyways#who knows maybe i’ll like it#and the hospital has a room for it so i can come in and do it there. i don’t have to do it at home#which is nice :]#i hope things work out..i rlly do..#im nervous and kinda scared. just. in general#but first things first i’m gonna worry about my dr visit for today#i was able to schedule one very last minute for the day which was nice#i hope they can figure out what’s wrong with me..#snow.txt
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There’s an alternate universe where Welcome to Hell has multiple episodes & Helluva Boss is just a pilot episode with years of a small niche cult following.
#if any of you start fights in the notes I’m not playing spectator & if you are too annoying I can just block you whenever I want#i just know someones gonna not see these tags lmao#this is like kicking a hornets nest probably but welcome to hell show i love you; love you singular episode with a supposed sequel#in the works. hope to see more from you someday <3#anyway this is a message to helluva boss & hazbin hotel fans to go give 'welcome to hell' a shot; its right up your alley tbh#also i always headcanon sock as some kind of nonbinary person ngl#go throw some support to Erica Wester I think if you like those red dudes you'll like her work ngl#if you support indie animation you can go support that one too is all i'm saying 💜#vivziepop fans don't fight erica wester fans please & vice versa; someones gonna ignore this anyway probably though#they're both interesting premises to clarify 💜#welcome to hell show#welcome to hell film#helluva boss#mine#op#welcome to hell
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#vent#vent post#cw negative#Seven’s Public Diary#wish i wasn’t so fucking worthless and useless and stupid and selfish and mean#i am just so goddamn sick of my own bullshit. but i never change#i’m so tired of being weighed down by my 56492 mental illnesses. i don’t like being like this#my sleep schedule is so fucked up again and im tired of this constant cycle#this constant fight and endless effort to stay on a goddamn routine#all i want for christmas is a goddamn consistent sleep schedule#i hate sleeping through the day and being up all night but it’s like my body was fucking built for that or something#i don’t like it!! i want to be an early bird who goes to bed at 8pm and wakes up before the sun rises!!! but im the exact opposite!!!!!!!#i wish i just didn’t need to sleep at all. that would be the ideal. so many problems would be solved.#no i Really wish i just had the ability to fall asleep and wake up whenever i actually Want To instead of my body calling the shots#fell asleep at 9 this morning and im so mad that i didn’t get up when i was woken up at 11#a 2hr nap would’ve been fine and i would’ve made it through the rest of the day and been able to fucking sleep again tonight#but noOOooOoOo i had to give in to the allure of my warm cozy bed and fall back asleep for 9 more goddamn hours#now once again im too awake and rested to be able to go back to sleep. but once morning rolls around im gonna be exhausted again#and i’ll either give in and attempt to take a ‘nap’ and it’ll turn into a 12hr sleep again#or i’ll have to like. walk laps around the fucking house just to keep myself awake through the day#and i’ll be super irritable as a result and make everyone around me miserable too#but everyone is already beyond fed up with my issues and behavior. rightly so i guess. so i lose either way#god there was so much stuff i was gonna/supposed to do today#i don’t know how much longer they’re gonna put up with me being such a deadbeat#you think that’d like. motivate me to get my shit together or something but no. i’m addicted to being unconscious i guess#sleep feels so fucking good. until i wake up. which is funny bc it’s all nightmares and stress dreams anyway. why do i even enjoy sleeping#i guess bc for the first few hours after waking up i experience some modicum of relief from my other mental illnesses’ symptoms#like a soft reset.#and it’s the Only thing that gets rid of my migraines so god forbid i get one of those bc then i Have to sleep regardless of the time of day#anyways! :) that’s enough whining for one vent post. time to go do something productive
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mistynat thoughts brewing but to make this idea work i’d have to write both timelines and the gymnastics im gonna have to perform to get young nat to spend a second alone with misty in the wilderness will be olympic gold medal worthy
#also i’m scared of writing something that’s then wildly disproved by canon#which i shouldn’t give a shit about but for some reason i do#like i want to write a fic now but also wouldn’t it be better once i’ve seen the whole season and get the vibe down?#mistynat#misty x nat#misty x natalie#it’s gonna be like a trippy hallucinatory time fucky did they or didn’t they thing#and they’re gonna remember stuff differently maybe#i write a long one shot where they don’t really like each other but have sex anyway?#groundbreaking#yellowjackets
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In a turn of shocking events absolutely stunning no one more than myself, I might actually enjoy cooking and not only that, be good at it
#it’s like a switch just flipped or something it’s crazy#cooking genuinely used to be in my top 10 most hated activities#but these past couple days I’ve been loving it?#I wonder if the secret is that I’m ACTUALLY cooking#as in like making things from scratch and not relying on premade frozen and stovetop meals#like on Saturday I made a ran of ribs#(made bbq sauce from scratch and everything!)#and then shredded the meat for tacos#they were delicious! and I loved the process of it!#they were so yummy I brought the leftovers to work for lunch the next day!!!!#I’ve *never* done that before#last night I made pasta#and while the pasta was premade (I don’t think I’ll ever reach a point where I’m making pasta from scratch regularly lol)#(I would like to give a shot eventually though)#I made the sauce myself and actually grated fresh Parmesan cheese instead of using the powdered shit#and it was so yummy!!!!#today a friend is coming over and I’m gonna make her fried rice with some of the leftover rib meat#I woke up this morning and first thing made French toast and bacon#not frozen French toast like I actually turned the stove on#tomorrow night I am planning on making Turkey meatloaf with glazed carrots and some peas#what is HAPPENING#this used to be HELL for me and now I’m enjoying it#and food tastes???? good????#this is insane who was gonna tell me food could taste good??????#I used to hate food and only ate when I needed to#is this what cooking from scratch does???? it makes it taste good?????#mannnnnnn#but anyways yes I’m loving it I’m loving the process and it’s tasting good#I haven’t had a horrible accident where something tastes awful yet#(I expect it will happen eventually haha but so far!!!)
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i hope the new superman is soooo good that it reintroduces superman back to the world on a big-ish scale and gives everyone a good story and gives back some good classic characters to truly love and that the music is great and that it reminds everyone (everyone) what superman is really about
#truth justice and the american w- [gets shot with a kryptonite bullet] no i’m jk#but i just remembered that it’s called superman LEGACY bc it’s gonna focus on both of his parents���. IM SO EXCITED#immigrant superman on the big screen for real mr gunn don’t fucking blow this for us#give us a kind wonderful complex superman#and please let this movie kick any dudebro who tries to claim superman as a paragon of (toxic) masculinity directly in the nuts#AND ANY DUDEBRO OR PERSON AT ALL WHO THINKS SUPERMAN HAS TO LOOK GRITTY OR DARK OR QUE LOS CHONES NO SON REALÍSTICOS O WHATEVER THE FUCK#GIVE HIM HIS RED CHONES GIVE HIM HIS SILLY LITTLE MY MOM MADE IT FOR ME SUIT#LET HIM BE RIDICULOUS LET HIM BE SILLY#HE’S A SUPERHERO FOR CHRISTS SAKE HE’S THEEEEE SUPERHERO#SUPERHEROS ARE INHERENTLY SILLY!!!!!!#let the whimsy into your soul you will be happier for it!!!!!!!!!!!#bluebird.txt#anyways i am absolutely asking for like way too much from this movie#and i don’t expect much from it as of right now#but it’s far away enough that i can hope and be excited without worrying too much if it’s gonna do my boy justice#so#yeah#new clark kent and lois lane dropped :]]]]]]#also can we get a jimmy olsen can we PLEASE GET A JIMMY OLSEN#now the question is who’s gonna play jimmy (PKEASE LET THERE BE A JIMMY WE HAVE BEEN DEPRIVED OF LIVE ACTION JIMMY FOR TOO LONG!!!)#and who’s gonna play perry white and THE KENTS WHO’S GONNA PLAY THE KENTS!!!!!!!#superman#david corenswet all my hopes and dreams are riding on you no pressure though /hj
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Idk why ppl think the writers of the bear are dumb and don’t have a storyboard but these writers are fucking fantastic and I trust them to give us an amazing szn 3 shipping aside they always give us the best writing and god the directing is otherworldly they need to be paid™️ their worth bc I wouldn’t survive a pushback or worse a cancellation 🧿
#yes we all hate how Claire was written BUT hear me out#Claire is supposed to be surface and plain#she’s supposed to easily lift out of the story#they’re using her to show us how carmy literally cannot handle a relationship at allll#him popping off at syd when she let the fishes die is a prime example#side note: they need to stop letting them men yell at my girl like that and talk crazy to her#I need the upmost respect in szn 3#anyways back to my point#yeah this isn’t a fanfic and it won’t pan out like one at all so give that dream up#I’m not saying that to say there would be no romance I’m saying that to say it’s not gonna be linear#if sydcarmy does happen which I think it will in one way shape or form#I think they’ll write their relationship very languid#I think it’d be one of those things that we don’t expect until it happens#but ya the writers are brilliant and I need y’all to study film or something so it’s easier to understand shows like this#bc so much is said in frames and music#wide shots and closeups too#every detail means something and it’s meticulous#uncle jimmy gave us an entire run down of what would happen with carmy and Claire in his baseball story#did we just ignore that lol
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i applied on a client & court representative job (casual/irregularly scheduled) back in the summer and i completely forgot about it, but they just sent me assessments to do and an interview time slot and i’m like. NOOOOOO I WANT THE JOB SO BAD ……..
#i doubt it’s gonna work out :( bc i have a full-time M-F job already#but i’ll be damned if i don’t give it my best shot anyway . if they say Sorry No then whatever#problem is it’s (necessarily) super irregular hours so u rlly can’t plan around it or anything idk. oh well. i’ll do the interview &#ask the questions then#part of me just misses wearing Business Professional Clothing smh. gimme an excuse to bring back the blouses and slacks#reeeeeeally wanna do everything in my power 2 make it work 😔😔 would be so interesting and such good experience (and pays so good lol)#pegasus speaks#ok now i’m exhausted and eating soup in bed#did an ill-advised last minute 11-11 shift and i am feeling it mr krabs#the amount of peppermint tea i have consumed today is ungodly
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ahhhhh i’m so fucking close to getting the IN 1cc but Reisen keeps wearing me down to where i can’t clear Kaguya but the last two runs i’ve had have made it to her final spell (i can only do about 1 or 2 runs a day cuz the malice cannon puts a lot of strain on my wrist) and in all honesty i probably shoulda beat it the last time my first 3 stages were the best they’d ever been and i sightread Keine’s Last Spell but stage 4 was p rough for me but that was my fault for streaming and talking and not paying attention. reimu’s like danmaku barrier is definitely like a top 3 spellcard for me along w okuu’s final spell because it’s just so much fun and a really cool concept i think anyways goodnight
#been making an attempt to play more touhou lately#last year i had to accept finally that i’m not gonna feel satisfied spending my video game time playing competitive multiplayer games#and so filling that gap with learning to play beyond easy mode has me feeling more satisfied#and i think it’s easier for me to limit my time playing when it’s something like touhou where i can do a full run or two#with multiplayer games i’m just never satisfied and so it’s easy to continue playing#anyways once i beat IN i think i’m gonna try for UM or SA next#it’s also fun playing IN cuz like i play reimu in every game but the malice cannon gives me a reason not to#i just like the homing shots cuz i feel like i get more rewarded for dodging#it’s kinda a marisa-esque feeling tho because i just want to do as much damage as possible#i also played melee with a friend for a while this evening and feel like my falco is coming along well#getting myself to draw daily and practice my bass regularly and learn new things#just felt more satisfied with life the last 6 months and i think it shows?#there’s still down weeks but i’m still pushing myself more than i have since covid started#i think the daily workouts i’ve been doing for the last couple years are the like core for this#self-discipline is hard but i’m getting better at it every day#it plays touhou
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what pokemon teams would the main four have if they were pokemon trainers? discuss
Ahhhh perry the platypus it seems you have found my weakness!
In all seriousness though I have unfortunately never played a Pokémon game or watched any of the shows which is really sad because it seems like something I would love! I just don’t know where to start I guess
I’m not qualified to answer this ask but I would LOVE to hear people’s opinions as well as which Pokémon they would main (is that the correct term even sjdbdhdvehvdhsbh)
#i love seeing peoples Pokémon headcanons I just don’t know enough to contribute#is there a duck themed Pokémon? there should be a duck themed Pokémon#anyways sorry anon I’m not even gonna give a shot at it I will only embarrass myself#lea talks#asks
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never mind yall i gotta cancel my size kink subscription😔✊🏽 i forgot that im actually tall LMAOOO like i knew but it just never really REGISTERED until now, y’know?
like this is ACTUALLY the difference between me and ethan
EMBARRASSING.
#i’m gonna kms#I CANT HAVE SHIT IN THIS HOUSE#i’d sell my soul to not be this tall#but anyway we ball#so i suppose strength kink is more fitting#but tbh with the lack of difference between us he’d probably struggle to lift me or push me around#at least in my brain#FUCK#IM SO SKFNFNFDNSK#wait maybe that means i have a shot at whooping his ass#both he and quinn almost got folded by chad at the same time#so im gonna hold onto that hope until proof of otherwise is presented#but he’s still like#STRONG?#but i’m#wait this gives me an idea
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TAOF IS SO GOOD ITS SO GOOD DONT RLLY KNOW MUCH AB THE HITS TO KUDOS RATIO BJT IF I OCULD GIVE U KUDOS ON EVERY CHAPTER I WOULD !!!!!!!! FEEL THE SAME WAY AB ALL UR OTHER FICS !!!!!!! LOVERS COMPSS ?????? IN UR DREAMS NERD ??????? THE GAME SHOW ONE WHATS UR TYPE ?????? I LOVE UR WRITING I KEEP UP W UR STUFF EVERYTIME U RELEASE A NEW CHAPTER I AM COMPELLED TO REREAD ALL THE OTHER CHAPTERS BC I ENJOY IT SO MUCH anyways that’s what I was thinking when I read ur post so I thought I should share it lmao so anyways ur brain is lying to u !!!! taof is v good and im sure i’m not the only one who thinks tht
anon idk how to say this but this means so much to me and u sent it at a time i was feeling rlly crappy so this felt like such a god send??? i was literally so shocked that i stopped crying and did a little giggle-while-kicking-my-feet
but seriously thank you so much, that’s so effing sweet and i’m rlly so happy you enjoy my stuff so much 😭😭 you have brought peace and joy into my heart 😭 this next chapter is dedicated to YOUUU!!!!! 🫵🏽♥️
#rani’s ask box#i need to take this ask like a shot of medicine bc that seriously made my whole night and cured me of all illness#tysm anon truly from the bottom of my heart#the next chapter is like? 80% done i just need to rework a lot of scenes#i wrote. so many scenes. too many scenes. this chapter is gigantic#and for what reason? none. except for the fact that taof bkdk plagues me#and i am just the vessel to the vision#i’m so determined to post this before July ends so i can beyond deliver on my promise from last chapter#anyway i genuinely am gonna give u a shoutout for this chapter just cause it made me feel that invigorated#;—;#taof
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Made some coffee because I need the boost
Going to go shave off my beard next because I like the occasional clear cut before growing it back and also no one ever sees me so it won’t matter how baby faced I am for the next week.
Going to stupidly retry buspirone later tonight. If you’ve followed my “lore” (and I’m sorry if you have), the last time I tried it over a few days, it only gave me extra anxiety and made me feel hot and incredibly uncomfortable. Maybe that was a fluke. Maybe it was interacting with the antidepressants I had just upped my dose of. Regardless, we’ll give it another shot and if it goes bad again, I’ll just take a couple benadryls, conk out, and not worry about them again.
Okay, I love you.
#my anxiety has just been nasty lately#I’m working on the logical mental part of that but a good chunk of my anxiety & depression is due to unchangable health problems#so for those worries I can’t reason away I’m relying on medication#and I think I’m ‘brave’ (or foolish) enough to give buspar another shot#i don’t want to take a benzo or anything tonight#I took 2 klonopins last night and that seemed pretty nice but I don’t want to make that a habit#especially since doctors don’t want to prescribe them unless really really necessary#so for tonight I’ve got my second cup of coffee and I’m working on distracting myself#gonna shave off this gross beard and if I could I’d cut off my long hair#my hair is too long!#I know that’s blasphemous to say but dang it’s getting to be a bit much#also my therapist said I need to apply for jobs before our next meeting#I don’t want to (fingers crossed) get a job interview just to roll in with this gross hair#NOT THAT HAIR IS GROSS! I love you hairy people!#but I’m bad at trimming facial hair and I haven’t had a haircut in… half a year? more?#so I’m all split ends and uneven trims#and I sweat easily so I need to chop some of this all off before it gets too hot#why am I writing all of this? it’s not pertinent or important or exciting or#so anyway how are you doing?#I need more mutuals who spend ungodly amounts of time on this app#not to talk to. I suck at talking. I just like seeing people on here. doing their thing. being alive. interacting with them. it’s nice.#okay this is enough rambling#ok i love you take it sleazy#you can ignore this#text
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this song ain’t got no right to be scratchin’ my brain as much as it does
#and i mean that as a compliment#Seven.txt#music stuff#Warren Zeiders#Spotify#gonna start making more use of Tumblr’s features and putting the actual songs i’m obsessed with in the body of posts#instead of just talking abt them in tags. i like music and y’all r gonna Hear about it no matter how bad my taste may be#anyways i’m at an internal war over this song#half of me is like ‘it’s just one of a million Mainstream Country Songs where some white guy sings abt heartbreak. what’s so great abt it?’#but the other half of me is like ‘yeah but. ur weak to that shit. that’s ur kryptonite bitch. it’s in ur blood. we Know this.’#‘also. nice voice + country accent + he’s blaming Himself and not just the girl + 2:40-3:00 makes u go apeshit every time.’#‘Also the cover image is hot as hell and it makes u think of that shot of Boothill standing at that pool table.’#‘oh yeah And the whole damn thing is giving off Seth YuuriVoice vibes. so like. yeah’#and i nod my head in reluctant agreement like yeah ok i guess ur right. damn#anyways if anyone needs me i’ll be in the corner listening to this on loop until i make myself sick of it#hsr boothill#Seth YV#yea fuck it i’ll tag them too why not#if anyone disagrees with me pls keep it to yourself it’s just my opinion pls let me have it in peace
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whennnnn did victor actually start killing people i have got to know. was it before or after gus found him. hello.
#gray.txt#he definitely seemed super comfortable with it in bcs so.#plus he was the main one chosen for like shooting and killing people (arturo. injuring ignacio. him and tyrus originally gonna kill werner#b4 mike decided to. victor being the one apart of the original ignacio death plan. etc.)#so it’s obvious that gus knew he was… good at that?#can’t lie i’m leaning towards before gus purely bc of the way jeremiah talks abt victor still being a bit new to the whole thing in bcs#and like. how often would gus be sending his ass to war enough for him to be desensitized. all while being new.#so. makes sense for it to be before i guess.#though i fucking love the idea of um. victor lying a little bit and telling gus he’s had experience in the past and acting all desensitized#in the beginning just so he could make a good impression and so that gus would take him more seriously#you know what i mean? that’s a fun one.#though either way i definitely think overall? by the time he showed his ass in bcs he did not give a single shit abt killing. lol#like okayyyyy mr ‘do it quick before you pass out’. okay mr almost killed that motherfucker cause you felt silly and shot him again.#< IM SAYING THIS OUT OF LOVE I LOVE HIM.#anyway this is my attempt at a lighthearted post after thinking abt victor so hard i almost threw up.
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I might read the Grisha trilogy. As a treat.
#I heard it’s not as good as the tv show but I think it would be fun anyway#I have so much love for the show and the universe so I’m gonna give it a shot!#tbd
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