#but i wouldnt want that change to make everything all sunshine and rainbows
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lightningflvsh · 8 months ago
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i think if i were to rewrite the timeline of the batfam i would have batman kill the joker after jason’s death but i’d make him regret it for a very long time. just for a fun new flavour of conflict between the two of them if/when jason comes back
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fictionfixations · 6 months ago
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birthday bloom kalim
notice how much more azul speaks then kalim, cause azul's all flatter-y and like. the type to ig do ill deeds by walking circles around his prey and striking when they dont expect it (as in slipping in little things here and there that could make it harder to notice for example)
but kalims all honest and more to the point, so he doesnt need as many words to get there
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oof
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💀 kailm. sweetie...
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admittedly i feel like his upbringing of basically being spoiled and kept as happy as can be from any stresses (as in yknow always being first in stuff and doing what he wants- remember that mention of kalim finding jamil during his break cause he asked the security guys to like idfk see th camera footage? or like. to find jamil. like. i mean. he was a kid but also that kind of screams of abuse of authority, but to be fair kalim was under the impression that jamil was his friend and would have no reason to think that jamil wouldnt want to play with him as much as kalim does. you see? because he's been able to see the world through sunshine and rainbows [in comparison to jamil being faced with the harsh reality and meant to be 'mature' enough to know what hes meant to do] it means he misses these cues, that he can be so oblivious to harmful intent. or like. being so positive that it could almost blind him? like
he wants to do his best to stay alive because. remember he mentioned that one time how 'what if [his poisoner i think] had a change of heart? it wouldnt mean anything if he was dead by then'. but thats under the assumption that theres. well. to put it bluntly, good in them and that they would act on it. i really dont know how to word it in a better way.
and. its not that its bad to view things in a hopeful way, its just that too much of it can be harmful.) only does him more harm
cause like. hows he gonna survive on his own? and i mean there might not be a situation like that. but like. by them raising him like that, it means that he doesn't know how to take care of himself.
and while he has servants and everything... im of the opinion that it would've been better to raise him self-sufficient. i mean spoil him as a kid ofc precious bby but also make it clear that he should also kinda be able to depend on himself too? like. like listen
make it clear that while he can trust other people, that they can also betray him. and i get that that creates trust issues, and also idk he probably already knows this in canon (its just that he wants to believe that they can change. and also because it just never occurred to him that jamil could turn on him since hes always been there)
cause. we know his other asim relatives have tried to hurt him. or well. maybe it was only mentioned in kalims' labwear vignette? i thinki it was that one.
so like. understanding that, and then giving him the skills to be able to manage on his own when needed to. not having to rely on other people all the time. cause i mean. well. this isn't the greatest lesson to teach but its like. the only one you can fully trust is yourself??
and i mean yeah he cares for himself (because so many bad things could happen if he died. or others could get hurt/punished because he died.) but it genuinely feels like hes only doing it for others and not for himself
maybe im puliing all of this out of my ass
but im STILL not over kalim talking about how frustrating/annoying it was to know that kalim only won because of jamil. that it was because jamil held back (also in relation to the truth of him always being chosen being broken, because it wasnt true at all. which i mean, if theres something that gets established in your head as what the truth is, finding that it isnt true at all is.. a lot. like. idk. that parents arent invincible, that they're human too.)
and then grim shoots him down with 'i didnt even get picked [to peform]! how do you think I feel?'
and kalim immediately apologizes. like
i swear this is like one of the only times i feel like kalims ever been outside of his happy 'im here for you if you need me' thing
or like one of the only times hes expressed his feelings (and probably knowing he's privileged, so not wanting to express his issues because he knows so many people have it worse than him ?)
and in all honesty. if he ever gets feelings talk about himself in book 4. i forgot a lot of it. and i think it mightve been partially because i knew the twist in advance so it just hurt me going through it knowing that they were wrong of who they suspected so. yeah.
uhmm. as you can see. i have a lot of thoughts about kalim. haha oops
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ottolla · 1 year ago
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nta / nah
Just make sure you tell them at some point, and don't lie and say you do love them if you don't. But I'd probably wait to tell them until you've been dating for a little while. I'd say three months, but I've been in literally one relationship in my entire life, and its still goin strong. Two weeks? I don't know how long is good. After a few dates, thats for sure.
When you do let them know, make sure you tell them how much would NOT change. tell them what it means, dont just be like 'ehh, im not in love with you i just think you're cool' or whatever that may be. Especially since, if you're going to be trying to obtain a life-partner, you're GOING to be fond of them. You might not think of flowers or whatever, or want to initiate kisses or what have you (tho id still suggest you do. like, if youre not opposed to it or anything.) Like, correct me if I'm wrong or whatever, but ""People who are aromantic can still have intense, loving feelings, they're just not romantic in nature. They can form emotional and personal connections, and they can provide and benefit from empathetic support. Aromantic people can still love their friends, family, children, pets, and their partners."" (WebMD). So, to my thinking you just don't like... I dunno, see hearts floating about when you're with them? But you could totally see like... sunshine rays, or rainbows, or whatever. sparkles, smily faces, etc. (you dont literally see them, but you know what i mean.) like just cause youre not romantic, (at least thats what im thinking) doesnt mean you wouldnt love them. you even said kissing is cool. cuddling is prolly cool too.
(what else is romantic...) holding hands? so you wouldn't be the one to innitiate it, or maybe youre someone who doesnt care for it (hands can be sweaty, i understand). just because you wouldnt think to / want to / ??? / etc to put your hand on them in a friendly / romantic gesture, thats okay. not everyone likes to be touched, or likes touching. (im hot constantly, hot hands on me? no thanks) and, even still, people can learn to like touches. my partner did. (everything use to be ticklish, and because they didnt have a lot of physical contact growing up, they were unuse to it. they love cuddles now, we snuggle every night, we hold hands, etc. all that crap.) Like, it really doesnt seem like a dealbreaker, unless the person you're with hardcore dreams of like, a perfect romance or whatever. -shrugs- i dont even know what all romance entails. chocolate? . ... i mean, get them chocolate, that s*ts delicious. but like, not everything has to be all lovey-dovey. not for everyone anyway.
WIBTA if I started dating (with the end goal being marriage) without telling them that I'm aromantic? I want a life partner, I want to have someone to raise kids with, and I want to have a monogamous sexual relationship (mainly just for risk reasons tbh). I also want to date within my religion, which doesn't have many around me. I just don't think anyone would be interested in a serious relationship with me if I came out. And I don't mind the romantic stuff-- kissing is actually pretty nice. I just don't experience that kind of attraction. They'll never know unless I tell them, so does it even matter?
What are these acronyms?
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autumn-foxfire · 4 years ago
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Ah i think u hit nail in the head why im not super comfy with most of these post war dabihawks potreyals
Even those that have hawks forgive dabi instead of hawks being the one to apologize usually leave hawks wingless. Like scar is one thing but his wings really..hit different especially cuz a lot of fans are still rabid on 'hawks should lose his wings as punishment'. It feels like theses aus are punishing hawks while also having him forgive dabi so they really make it feel like dabi is getting off scot free while hawks is left without two limbs and two major sensory organs but its ok he forgives dabi.
Like i like dabihawks its prime angst material and i dont mind complete aus that let them just be happy cuz thats what aus are for. But if you are going to write or draw something canon divergent you need to do a lot more work cuz u need to base your work on canon. Like that is the exact reason why i like writing aus better than canon divergence even if i like reading both. With canon divergence you really need to know your stuff and it can be stressful to try n keep everything in order while also executing your own story. Thats why canon divergence that just skips to fluff is so jarring, theres no narrative mid section they just tell u 'suspend your disbelief' but thats v hard when where canon left off and where the work is picking up from are so tonaly different you really need a bridge between the two or it just doesnt work. Enemies to lovers is a fun trope but it does expect work from you if you wanna follow canon, to tell us how they got from enemies to begrudging respect to allies to frienda to lovers. But most ppl just want the short version and in cases like dabihawks it just really doesnt work.
Like im always reminded of shizaya and how every work ive ever read of them that was anyway canon compliant (n most aus) still had that tension between them, made it clear they have a lot to work on, worked on that, acknowledge they can still be toxic to each other and that not everything was sunshine and rainbows. They fought they argued it was nasty and it was messy and thats what made me think ye this is how their reletionship would be in canon.
Dabihawks just seems to jump from dabi burning hawks alive to they are all good n happy guys uwu. And its so jarring cuz no they wouldnt be, this reletionship would take A Lot of work to salvage, a lot of trust from hawks and a lot of willingness from dabi to change and do better. It just seems that most works i see simply skip the meat of the reletionship to get to dessert and its just not as fufiling as a full meal
Exactly.
Hawks is punished for his “crimes” meanwhile Dabi, who has committed far more atrocieties then Hawks gets away with his (actual) crimes scot free and even get a boyfriend and a family out of it.
It’s just too unrealistic for me to believe, even with me trying to suspend my disbelief considering it’s a crack enemies to lovers pairing.
As you said, AUs are something I can understand people going wild in because they are the purpose of them however if you’re going to write a work that is based on canon, even if it has canon divergence it it, you at least have to try and follow the guidelines already laid bare for you by canon. As you said, you can’t just eat a starter then jump straight into the dessert, you need to have the main course in between and canon compliant enemies to lovers ships are the same. You need to have that main, the part that explores all the ugly parts of their relationship and how they heal from it before you can jump into the fluff.
Also, if you’re going to hold Hawks to a standard in your work, hold Dabi to the same standard. Hawks gets punished so severely for his actions? Then Dabi, who has done so much worse should be punished even more. It’s not fair that Hawks is just used to make Dabi look better and be their to “forgive” him for his horrible actions.
Shizaya fics have really spoiled me on this because as you said, most stories do explore the ugliness, the “enemy” part in the pairing and how they learn to deal with that and change before diving into the fluff. Also, most stories focus on both of their trauma too, neither forgiving or completely condemning them either. Meanwhile, many Dabihawks stories leave me feeling disappointed because it’s usually stories that fluff Dabi up or just pure fluff with no clue of how they got to that point.
Of course, if that floats your boat then all the power to you, but it’s just no my cup of tea when it comes to enemies to lovers.
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vantekay · 6 years ago
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valentine ||jhs
word count: 3.2k
estimated reading time: like 10 ish minutes, maybe? I haven’t been timing these sksks I’m sorry I will eventually come back and time it
genre(s): fluff fluff fluff and more fluff also a scene where you stargaze because I’m self indulgent and like every fic of mine that has a date scene includes stargazing sksksk sorry 
warning(s): none 
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“throughout all the seasons, in this transition of winter-spring you've been here beside me with the sweet nothings you're whispering”
hoseok has always called you his rock because you kept him grounded whenever he needed it, reminding him in times of hardships that he was more than enough and that those bouts of feeling like he wasn’t enough would pass. he also called you his rock because you had been in his life for as long as he could remember, literally. you had known hoseok since you guys were kids. teeny tiny tots playing together at the daycare your mothers had both decided were good enough to watch you while they were busy. it all started because you, a very shy kid who kept to themselves in the corner, was crying and you immediately caught hoseok’s attention. you had come to find very quickly that he was the literal embodiment of sunshine and rainbows and everything else that could possibly bring you joy. he had been the only kid to approach you in the daycare since you arrived, and he made it his mission to make you happy. he had introduced himself to you as hobi, and from that day on it was hobi and y/n against the world. as you grew older, you had found that hoseok actually lived in the same neighborhood as you and this led to you and him growing closer as you aged. enter your tween and teen years and you were pretty much bound at the hip, doing anything and everything you could together. you had begun going to the others family gatherings, parties and other special events together and there came a time when both of your families had begun teasing you both about being an item. this would always prompt your cheeks to turn a deep rose color as hoseok denied any chances of getting together with you, claiming you were more like a sister to him. this had hurt you a bit the first few times he had said it, seeing as you had feelings for hoseok that were definitely not brotherly and you had always silently hoped he felt the same but you learned to quickly push those feelings down and laugh along with him whenever family members brought it up. this continued for a couple years until one drunken high school party where you had confessed your feelings for him and, to your surprise, he felt the same. the next day was spent soberly clearing things up and properly confessing, marking the beginning of your new relationship with hoseok. he learned very quickly that you were supportive of him. you always had been, but now that you proudly wore the title of girlfriend it had been enhanced ten fold and it made hoseok's day. whether it was cheering him on at his tennis games or during his swim meets, you never failed to bring a smile to his face when he caught you waving at him from the sidelines, the widest of grins on your face as you showed him how proud you were. you’re praises never stopped on the field though, no, hoseok would hear them the entire way back to your homes, and if you were spending the night at his then you would continue to praise him there too. when he had finished getting ready to relax and you were waiting for him on his bed with open arms, he would happily clamber into bed with you and accept your cuddles, you held him close to your chest as you ran your hand through his hair and continued to talk about how proud you were of him, how amazing he did during the game and so forth, until finally his eyes would flutter closed and the smile on his lips stretched wider.
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“you're a lovable, angelic piece of perfect and anything i do for you is worth it times a million and a half”
it should come as no surprise that hoseok loves to do for other people, especially for you. whatever it was you needed him to do he would do it in a heartbeat. you needed a new pair of pants because you spilled coffee on your old ones? hoseok was already on his way to the mall as soon as you told him. you had a really bad day at work and you wanted takeout and a movie night in? hoseok has your favorite takeout place on speed dial and your order memorized and could make it to your apartment in 10 minutes flat with your favorite movie. you were his angel, his world, and he loved doing things for you. hoseok always made it known that you could count on him, constantly telling you that it didn’t matter how busy he was or what he was doing. reminding you that he would always drop whatever it was and help you in any way he could. this made touring a little difficult for him, seeing as how he wouldn’t be able to stop in the middle of a show to help you if you needed him but you knew he would help you as soon as he could. there was one time, however, where in the middle of a show he had gotten a message from your coworker telling him that you had fallen at work and were rushed to the hospital. it wasn’t anything major, just a preemptive trip to make sure you didn’t break any bones from the fall but it was still enough to plant that seed of worry in hoseok. what made this worse was the fact that he was in the middle of a show, in between songs and getting a quick change when he had heard the news from a staff member. they tried to reassure him that you were okay and that you weren’t actually hurt that badly, that your coworker just wanted to make sure you hadn’t broken any bones but it was still enough to drive hoseok mad. he tried to brush it off for the rest of the show and not worry ARMY but you were all he could think about. of course he immediately thought of all the worst case scenarios he could, like you being stuck at the hospital all by yourself because your friend had to leave, or you having broken every bone in your body and having to be put in a full body cast for a couple of months and many other unlikely scenarios. as soon as the show had ended, he rushed off stage to video call you, not even bothering with a text to make sure you were still up. his heart was relieved for a split second when you answered on the second ring, and he didn’t even let you speak before he was already blubbering off his concerns.
“oh god angel I’m glad you answered, I got the text from your coworker saying you were in the hospital as we were in the middle of the show and I was so worried about you. are you okay? did you break anything? do I need to sue your company for the fall? psychological damage that you may have suffered? god baby I’m so sorry I’m not there to sit with you in the hospital right now and- wait, are you at home?” hoseok furrowed his eyebrows and squinted down at his phone screen as you leaned your head back to let out a loud laugh. he backs away from his intense staring with his lips down in a frown and a pout on his face, waiting for you to explain.
“I got out of the hospital like, an hour ago love. it was just a trip to make sure I didn’t break anything, which I didn’t, I just twisted my ankle s’all.” as you spoke you could watch the worry physically drain itself from hobi’s face, his heart shaped smile beginning to form itself on his lips at the thought of you being okay.
“oh thank god, y/n I couldn’t even begin to tell you how worried I was about you, I was starting to wonder if management would let me fly home to see you in case you had been put in a full body cast or something.” now you both laughed, hoseok blushing slightly at how ridiculous he sounded but you assured him that you loved it, loved him for caring so much about you and being ready to do whatever he needed to take care of you. you meant a lot to him, and he would be willing to give you his heart in a split second if you needed it, that’s how much he loved you. 
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“cause i love you and i'd like to spend forever in the subtle warmth inside your arms”
hoseok’s favorite thing to do with you has to without a doubt be cuddling. he loves it when you cuddle him or he cuddles you, he doesn’t mind either position as long as he can feel the warmth radiating off of your body and onto his. he loves holding you close, head pressed up against his chest so you can hear his heartbeat while his hand runs through your hair as he talks to you about his day and you talk to him about yours. hoseok always wants to be touching you in some way whether it be hugging or cuddling or holding hands, he always wants to feel your warmth. whenever you go out in public he is holding your hand, if you have to separate for whatever reason he always makes sure you part with a hug and if you guys are just spending time at the dorm or at your apartment you better believe you’re cuddled up on the couch together. hoseok loves it the most when he wakes up with you in his arms, the way you’re always wrapped up in his embrace like you haven’t moved since you fell asleep in the same position. he loves it when it’s raining really heavily and you beg him to sit out in the living room with you, huddled up on the couch with your favorite blanket and a movie on the tv, drowned out by the sound of the rain hitting the glass of your window. he loves it when you rest your head on his shoulder while gazing at something, whether it be your phone or whatever else may be holding your attention and he just enjoys being close to you, and he never wants to let you go.
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“i'll keep on creating for you until my final days, dancing in the living room and smooching while the vinyl plays”
one of hoseok’s favorite memories with you is whenever he had a day off and you insisted on dancing with him, since he would continue to practice even if he was meant to be relaxing. the day usually goes something like this, you begin by sitting in the living room and watching him dance, then he insists on teaching you some of the moves so now you’re up and dancing with him and then eventually you convince him to do some kind of slow dance with you as a cool down from earlier. he would never admit it but he loves it when his days off go like this, getting some practice in and then ending it with you and him slow dancing while your bluetooth speaker plays whatever love song you have in your playlist. he loves holding you by the waist, watching as you lean your head forward on his chest while you dance, hands intertwined and the soft sounds of your breath mingling as you sway together in the living room. hoseok will begin his kiss attacks with simple smooches to you hair, and then gradually makes his way down to your face after you’ve removed it from the warmth of his chest to look up at him. he starts his descent at your forehead, leaving a kiss there before travelling to your nose, and then both cheeks, your chin, the corners of your mouth and then finally landing on your lips. the kiss is always soft and sweet and makes butterflies erupt in your stomach and you can’t get enough of him which leads into a makeout session. hoseok’s hands grip your waist a little tighter as your hands move to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck, not once breaking apart for air. you continue like that for what feels like hours, just holding each other and sharing kisses under the dim lighting in your living room until hoseok’s stomach begins to growl louder than the music playing in the background and you break apart with a laugh, walking into the kitchen together to prepare a meal.
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“cause we can both hear the compliments coming in from these pals of mine and I've been wondering if you would be my valentine”
hoseok remembers back in highschool, when you had just started dating, and valentine’s day approaching faster than he would have liked. he was nervous seeing as it was the first holiday you would be spending together as a couple and he wanted it to be perfect. his friends had encouraged him, telling him they would help him with any planning or preparations he had. what he really wanted to do was take you out for a picnic date at the park you really liked that was a bit of a drive out of town and then watch the stars with you. he tells his friends about his plan in hopes that they will get the hint to leave him alone, but something about the way they smile at him after he’s done speaking tells him otherwise. brushing it off, he waits for you in the school’s parking lot and gets ready to put his plan into action. when you get into his car, he starts to drive towards the location of the park which is on the opposite side of town where you both live. you’re confused, and look over to ask him what he’s doing to which you only get a “you’ll see” out of him. you sit back and enjoy the ride, wondering what he could possibly have planned for today. when you arrive at the park the sun has begun its descent and hobi is quick to pull you out of his car and towards the location of the picnic dinner he has had set up for the past few hours. you laugh at his enthusiasm only to be wowed by the location for which he has picked out. the spot he found has a perfect overview of the horizon ahead, and it perfectly shows off the current setting sun and all of the orange pink and purple hues stemming from it. you stand there in awe, mouth hung open as you watch the sun set and hoseok can’t help but take a couple photos of you, some from a few feet behind you showing off both the setting sun and your silhouetted frame. he smiles down at the photos before walking up behind you and wrapping you up in a hug, head placed on your shoulder as he places soft kisses into the crook of your neck. you giggle before attempting to get away from him, claiming that his shows of affection tickle and that you want to eat. he leads you back over to the blanket and begins to pull out the food he had prepared. to your surprise, he pulls out a bunch of fruits and what looks to be kimchi made from scratch. you look up at him in awe while a blush blossoms on his cheeks. he dishes out the servings of food between the two of you before starting to eat, striking up conversation with you about school that day and what plans you had for the weekend. after you both finish eating and the sun has promptly set, he asks you to lay down with him on the blanket to stargaze for a little. it takes you by surprise, seeing as hoseok has never addressed the idea of finding stargazing particularly interesting but you assume that maybe he had seen posts about it on twitter or instagram pertaining to how it was a cute date idea. you lay hand in hand and watch the stars for about an hour before you pack up to go home, the cold air beginning to nip at your skin and creating goosebumps. once you’re back inside his car hoseok pulls out one last surprise gift for you. you assume it’s a ring, considering the box he occupies in his hands is too small to contain a necklace or bracelet and you feel your heartbeat begin to pick up. hoseok smiles before opening the case and showing off a beautiful gold promise ring set, one for you and one for him. he takes the one meant for you out and begins to place it on your ring finger as he speaks softly. 
“I got these because even though we just started dating, we’ve known each other our whole lives and I can’t imagine the rest of my life being with anyone else but you. I want to continue making memories with you and I want to build my future with you, y/n. so I want us to make a promise that we will always be there for each other.” hoseok looks back up from your hand with a smile on his face as he finishes talking and you quickly lean forward to place a chaste kiss on his lips. “of course I want to spend the rest of my life with you hobi, I promise.” you extend your pinky finger for him to latch onto and he does so with a small laugh, leaning forward to kiss you again. it isn’t until you hear whooping and hollering from outside that you pull away, looking around quickly to spot the source of the noise. hoseok rolls his eyes and leans his head back until it hits the headrest, promptly bringing his hands up to run down his face with a groan. “I knew they were going to follow us here.” he mumbles before his friends arrive at the driver’s side window, smirks plastered on their faces as they show hoseok a big thumbs up. when he turns to unlock the door their expressions all drop, quickly running off into the direction of their own cars in order to escape hoseok’s wrath. you laugh from the passenger's seat as you watch him chase his friends around the parking lot, yelling about how they “need to respect his privacy” and “can’t you guys get your own girlfriend instead of living vicariously through me?!” 
when he finally gets them to leave and has returned to his spot behind the wheel he turns to apologize to you, “as you can see, they were very excited for our valentines plans, and they wanted to see if you would turn me down or something I’m not too sure what they were expecting.” but all you can do is laugh some more and tell him that you didn’t mind, that you thought it was cute his friends wanted to see how things would turn out, and maybe they would finally listen to hobi and stop living as though you were their girlfriend as well.
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iamsonyeondone · 6 years ago
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heir!svt // lee seokmin
♥ fluffy and angst if you look at it under a microscope
♥ 1.5k words
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the one word everyone associates with lee dokyeom: sunshine
this boy radiates like the actual fking sun and his smile oh gOd even the emos who wallow in the darkness cant surpress their happiness when they see him
he just has that amazing friendly aura that makes people's day happier
it's mainly because his family runs a high-tech farm where they cultivate fresh and high-quality produce
one of their important devices was a speaker
because hOo boi who knew strawberries liked to listen to Troublemaker iconic
and who ever visits their farm during a school trip or for picking fruits, may or may not have the chance to listen to the Prince sing to the blueberries
and its just the most wholesome sight ever
even though theres like weird equipment whirring and pumping in filtered water or something
you'll see this shining handsome boy, singing his favourite ballad while he checked on the equipment
and sometimes when it does a sudden weird noise, it shocks him so much that he does a typical slapstick comedy and slips onto his butt
but he brushes it off with a smile and little cute dance when he gets up
anD he is just. so. adorable
so everyone literally fawns over him everytime he passes by with that radiating smile
and the girls just swoon even more whil his hyungs want to make sure no o n e messes with him or they'll have to face them
since his family produces such top-notch quality fruits and vegetablez
they naturally get sponsored or help their fellow chefs and friends
and one of them is your father!!
your father runs this one michelin star restaurant by the sea and serves mostly seafood
but their dessert is as good as their secret special home-brewed eel soup i just made that up idk i want sushi
which your mother is in charge of!!
and their both friends of seokmin's parents so naturally, the both of you know each other
sometimes a little too much
"lee seokMIN stop telling the raspberries that i fell in front of the entire school or I'll tell them about how you fell into the toilet"
"thAT WAS ONE TIME"
yeah so the both of you are really close friends but its not surprising since seokmin is like a friend to everyone
and everyone knows that you're a part of seokmin's protection squad which jeonghan leads
"make sure everyone claps for him at the farm when he's done singing, got it?"
"aYe aYe cAptAin,"
so naturally you're always there for him
walking to class, walking back home together and eating lunch with him and your mutual friends
its not only because you're there to protect him but he's just such an amazing and nice guy to have around and his voice is like warm milk on a sleepless night and also because he looks amazing with that smile-
ok maybe you dont just see him as a friend,,, and probably mayhaps more
but who could blame you when an actual embodiment of rainbows and everything good in this world is your best friend
im very weak for this baby can you tell
everytime he saves your ass from embarrassing yourself bY embarrassing himself
or when he makes sure you've eaten all your three meals everyday and stays hydrated
yea he's a bit of a nagging mother but you reciprocate the care in return by ensuring that he's doing so well in choir and that everyone loves him for trying his very best in the extra curricular
like you even have to force him to spill your feelings towards you
because you KNOW this guy tenfs to surpress and bottle up his feelings and that is not healthy at all
talk to your friend/family if you're bottling it up too ❤
and seokmin makes sure he treats you with fresh berries from his garden whenever you come over
and you guys sometimes talk about everything and anything under the stars while snacking on those fruits and snacks your parents prepared for you and him when you drop by
and its all so pure and warm and being next to seokmin always has this welcoming aura that you never really sense with anyone else
not even when you have those crushes in your first few years of high school
and that was when you realize that you saw him more than just a best friend
on the other hand, seokmin has always admired you for your personality and how you're so caring to nearly everyone and especially him
oh my how his heart races whenever you look at him with those worried look in your eyes
or the way your voice turns so soft and calming to his ears when he's feeling down
wow look at this its the pining pals sorry for ending soft hours it will come back shortly
the both of you were walking to school, the usual routine:
you guys are sipping on your favourite drink, talking about the recent school rumors
and everything's normal,,, like nothing has changed
but it feels different some how
did your feelings for him grow too much?? did you no longer see him as your best friend?? or did you want to be more than just friends?
and you notice that seokmin doesnt have his arm around you like always
his absence of not clinging around you in the autumn breeze made it more chilling
and,, you just want him to hug you, even if it was a half-hearted side hug
but did your feelings get the best of you? does he know that you have feelings for him and is that one of the reasons for him being distant??
you werent ultimately sure but your last thought keeps lingering in your mind, taking attention away from the fact that you and seokmin had reached your class
"i guess we'll see each other at lunch! take care and focus in class alright?" he chuckled, ruffling your hair a little before jogging through the halls
what made his heart race wasnt his quick steps but the way you had looked towards him so innocently, that adorable look on your face being hard to wipe away from his mind
he had tried his best to keep a space between you, hoping that maybe the space would give him some time to think
but it was no use, his crush on you only grew
and he only thought about you for the rest of his classes
"yn, seokmin needed to clarify some things with his teacher so he'll be a little late to lunch. he asked me to forward the message, take care alright?" jeonghan smiles sweetly before he waves you goodbye to sit with joshua and seongcheol
was this another way for him to get rid of you in some way? no you shouldnt get ahead of yourself,, he's only being a hardworking student,, right?
ten minutes pass and seokmin rushes to your table with an apologetic look
"im so sorry yn, i wont be able to stay for lunch because i need to help some of the juniors from choir to find their costumes. but i brought some of the fruits from the farm for you to enjoy!! eat up okay? see you after school!"
and thats all you heard from him for the rest of the day
and once school had ended, he had given another hurried excuse that he had to attend a group project meeting and asked you to meet him at his farm instead
the both of you did hang our there quite often, but you werent sure if seokmin would even show up at this rate
but the little pinch of hope you had left made you walk straight to his farm
maybe,,, just maybe,, you were just overreacting
you sat by the bench outside the strawberry tent, nibbling on a bowl of berries his mother had given you for snacks
a few minutes pass and a figure comes running towards you
disheveled in his school uniform and,,, a bouquet?? in his hands??
seokmin huffs, stopping right in front of you while he clutched the bouquet to his chest gently
"i needed to stop by your parent's restaurant for a while,,, for this,"
and he shows you a bouquet of a variety of fruits, cut and scalped into flowers like an actual bouquet
and when your eyes trail back to his, and despite the panting and running he had done the second before,
he looked far more radiating than before
his eyes sparkled and his lips wouldnt budge from the wide grin it had plastered on his face
and it was all because he was looking at you
"i needed to make sure that your dad didn't mind me dating his child," he chuckled, taking your hand in his with so much care that it made you seem fragile
"so will you go out with me yn? your dad says its a-okay and that-"
you cut him off with a peck on his lips, eliciting unstoppable giggles from your lips as you hugged him tight
"you should have just given me the fruits as it is but you just had to go the extra mile,"
"anything for you, yn,"
a/n: i dont know why this took me so long to finish like i waited a whole week just to finish the ending in 10 minutes :| im an idiot but i hope you guys have a nice day/night ♥
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viralhottopics · 8 years ago
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I Never Wanted My Husband The Way I Want This Man And Ill Do Anything To Have Him
They didnt mean to fall for each other. The decks of cards in each of their hands were not favorable for them to be lovers; she was two years into her marriage and he was recently divorced. To add to the list of reasons why they shouldnt be together they were alsocolleagues. Their relationship wouldnt just tear them down emotionally it would also damage their careers. But love is blind, and she was willing to risk it all to start over with a new man.
1. Her
She grew up with immense love, positivity, and support from her family. She was known in her family as the loud-mouthed, goofy, big-headed little girl. She always thought so highly of herself, kept good grades to keep her family proud and had the biggest heart for her friends and family. She dated here and there during middle school and into college, but none of her relationships were ever as serious as when she met her husband.
She met her husband in college. They spenttheir early twenties as any other typical college student going to class, making new friends, partying, etc. He adored her from the moment he laid eyes on her. That spark wasnt there immediately for her, though. But as time passed, she fell in love with him. Their relationship was always the envy of their close friends. They never really fought, always seemed to have the best time together and were oftenlabeled asa gorgeous “picture perfect” couple. She had everything she ever wanted.
However, early in their relationship, she went through a few major life changes and events that caused her to frequently suffer from panic attacks. This ultimately brought to light her diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder. One of the issues that shook her perfect little world, was when she went to the doctor for a routine womens health exam and was told she had condyloma (better known as genital warts). How on earth could she have gotten that?! Her loving boyfriend couldnt have possibility withheld something so extremely important from her — could he have?! When she approached him with the news, he automatically fell sad and had tears in his eyes; her heart sank. He knew all along that he had it and he never told her. He lied about one of the most important, intimate and private matters that you can share with a lover.
She had always viewed herself with an imaginary tiara on her head, had the highest self-esteem and loved herself inside and out. Once she learned this upsetting reality of contracting a lifelong sexually transmitted infection from someone who she trusted and didnt think could do her wrong, her little heart and mind wentdark.This was something she felt like she couldnt disclose to her friends or family, without the judgment and stigma that surrounds STIs. She just swallowed the truth of this imperfection on her body and pushed it deep, down into the back of her mind and tried to not let it bother her. The tricky part with that is EVERYTHING bothers her in her anxiety-ridden mind. She might not always show her thoughts, feelings, and stresses on the outside – but every minute of her day her mind is running wild with negative thoughts.
That whole situation was the first rockycoursein their relationship. She constantly blamed herself for her low sex drive and would always apologize to him for it. She switched her birth control pills, her anti-anxiety meds and went to counseling to try to see if that wouldincreaseher libido. She worried that he would one day cheat or leave her because of the lack of intimacy. He assured her that he would never do that to her and their relationship grew stronger as the years passed by.
Eventually, they graduated college, moved to the city and moved into their first apartment together. Once again, their life was picture perfect. Everything was sunshine and rainbows. Strong relationship, greatjobs, and a wonderful apartment. Shewas a lucky woman. Naturally, their relationship progressed and they were ready to take the next step in life; marriage. They were in their young mid-twenties, but it felt like the right time and right choice to make. She loved him, he treated her so well, shebelievedhe was her soul mate and was confident he would make the perfect husband and father one day.
Their love story continues as most do largewedding with their closest friends and family, beautiful Caribbean honeymoon and eventually they purchased their first home together. Again, she hadeverything she ever dreamed of. She was happy.
Sometime during that second year of marriage, her anxiety started to really affect her again – personally and professionally – and she began to seek therapy once a week. During this time, she learned a lot about herself that she’d kept hidden in her mind and heart. She is usually a colossal talker without a filter and doesn’t have a problem discussing her hopes, dreams, feelings, and problems with others — but her new self-discovery was something she wanted to attempt to keepprivate. An important statement of advice that she appreciatedand followed after marriage was‘to never talk negatively about your spouse to another person’. She felt this would help protect the sanctity of marriage and keep that love private. So the only people she could trust with her current emotions and thoughts wereher parents and therapist.
2. Unintentional Romance
During this time in her life, she became close friends with one of hercolleagues; ahandsomethirty-something doctor. They’d worked together for two years, but it wasn’t until about a year in when they started to talk more often in the office and outside of work.However, sheremembers when she first met him he immediately caught her eye; she found him insanelyattractive. The two shared commonalities with their taste in music, big hearts, and their mental health struggles.Their conversations were always so easy-flowing, real, unfiltered, and honest. In the discussions they had, she told him things that she didn’t even share with her husband and she disclosed the skeletons in her closet that only her therapist and mother knew. It was quite a shock to her how quickly she began to feelcomfortable with this man. He was such a good listener, gave great advice and looked her in the eyes when they’d talk. He was smart, well-mannered, a good father, considerate, andhad a wonderful personality. Those few months when their friendship grew closer, she started to realize that this man was slowly beginning to consume the majority of her thoughts throughout the day. She loved her husband more than anything and in all the eight years they’d been together the thought of another “suitor” never crossed her mind. She always had a lot of guy friends and naturally got along with everyone – so it wasn’t like she was seeking or longing for attention fromanotherindividual. This new man just sort of fell into her line of vision.
After long conversations via text, phone calls and at work, she increasingly began to care for this man with more than just a regular friendship vibe. She’s always been one to just impulsively do and say things that made her feel good and happy – without really thinking about the possible or probable consequences. This selfish characteristic of her is something her husband disliked and something that she’d been trying to work on in therapy. However, her passionate feelings about this new love brought her to the night she decided to kiss him. At first, he was hesitantwhen she moved in for the kiss and backed away from her. “Wait. What? You’re married!” “Just kiss me.”, she said. The kiss was sointenseand passionate. She feltengulfedwith powerfulfeelings of bliss and lust.
It was then, that Pandora’sbox had been opened.
3. Right Love – Wrong Time
Now her perfect little head was spinning and spinning. Her home life was pleasant and the love from her husband was very fulfilling – but slowly she felt more and more connected to this new man.Due to her anxious mind, she would often dwell on negative thoughts. Did she get married too young? Why now? Why after eight years of being together with her now husband, would this new seemingly wonderful guyfall into her life and make her questioneverything? She truly loved her husband and never thought twice about leaving or cheating. But for whatever reason, the universe brought this other man into her life – which sentinto a tailspin of emotional chaos.
During her recent therapy appointments, she learned that the feelings she felt for so many years involving the STIwas because she had gone through trauma and/or a traumatic experience from learning about it the way she did. Since her now husband (boyfriend at the time of diagnosis)withheld the STIfrom her before they engaged in sex, it was as if she had suffered a form of domestic abuse. Shehad just turnedtwenty years oldwhen she found out about contracting it.Once the idea of having to live with this lifelong issue set into herhead, she slowly felt trapped in her relationship along with losing a chunk of her self-confidence.
It wasn’t until she became more intimate (both emotionally and physically) with her new “lover”, that she realized another mancouldbe attracted to her although she had this problem.He changed her mindset about herself for the better. Her therapist stated that even though this situation with him was extremely complicated, that he actually had helped her gain her broken self-esteem back.
They got along so well, textedall day long, and went out of their way to see one another during the work day. It wasnt hard to fall for him; he was so charming and thoughtful. Their connection was so apparent that even a coworker close to her mentioned, You can totally tell you two are into each other. They werent in an actual relationship but it felt like the most real thing in her life.
It was as if she was living two separate lives. Her old life was comfortable and routine – her new life was thrilling and full of electricity. All she could think about was getting away from her life to be with this new person who made her feel alive and that was terrifying to her.
4. The Truth
She struggled with her thoughts involving her strong allure to her lover and began to feel very dazed that shed even let her mind and heart wander away from her loving husband. She asked her therapist about this situation and why she was seemingly alright living an almost double life with the two men. Her therapist,knowing the history of her marriage,reflected that she appeared to be rather co-dependent on her husband. But with her actions and way of thinking with her lover, she was more selfless and it felt as if they both leaned on each other for support – instead of the relationship being a one-way street like it was in her marriage.
In order to clear her mind, she decided that she needed to tell her husband that shed met another man and was beginning to develop feelings for him. When she confronted her husband about this, he immediately knew who she was referring to. Hed known for a while that she had been talking and texting hercolleagueand he did not approve. Even with her husbands disapproval of theirfriendship, she continued to talk to him. Her excitement and pleasure being with him were more than enoughto cloud her judgment and ignore the fact that two years prior she vowed herself to her husband and their marriage. Her husband couldnt believe that she felt this way about another man and he pleaded for her to tell him what he needed to do to change her mind and forget about her lover.
The list of ideas, actions, and traits that shed always hoped her future husband would carry, werentcompletelyones that her actual husband ever reflected. They met and married young and shed always hoped that maybe hed grow up into the Prince Charming that shed always dreamed of. She told her husband ways that could help repair their marriage and they discussed the idea of going to couples therapy. However, now that her husband had knowledge of this other man in her life, things at home started to go south.
5. Numb
Once the truth about her feelings was out, she began to become a quiteunstable person. She was confused about what to do with her life, her marriage, and her relationship with her lover.She had constant mood swings and appeared fairlydepressed daily. She began to self-medicate by drinking every day and smoking weed again.That was her only escape from her complicated feelings. She would go to therapy to prepare exactly what to say to her husband in regards to separation and divorce. Then once she’d get home, bags packed and all, she’d seehim so somberand beggingfor her to stay; so she would change her mind – stay home and just drink herself to sleep.
During this time, her lover was being quite distant. She later learned he had fucked a co-worker of his. She was upset, but couldn’t fault him for doing so since she was married and unavailable. Things went cold with both her husband and her lover and she realized for the first time in years that she might be better off and happier in this world single and living alone. She never had theopportunity to live in the city a singletwenty-something-year-old. That idea sounded very appealing to her. She’s young, smart and beautiful – she could survive going through a divorce and starting over.
But again, her brain defaulted to the idea of being in a real relationship with her lover. When she was with him she felt like she couldn’t get any higher and never thought that feeling would end. Since he randomlystartedbeing indifferent towards her, she felt like she was going crazy. What was she going to do? She felt numb.
6.Almost Lover
That flame she felt for the last few months slowly began to fizzle. The once heart-stopping and happy conversations with her lover now turned dry.She could tell he was starting to regret getting involved with her. She kept trying to get through to him that she ultimately wanted to be together. Her husband finally grasped and accepted the idea of divorce, she began applying to new jobs (since they couldn’t openly date while they still worked with one another), and her parents were even now aware of the possibility of their oldest daughter going through a divorce before she turned 30. Even knowing all of those facts, her lover still pulled back. He was suspect about her intentions regarding leaving her marriage and unsure that they would even work out as partners in the future.
They physically distanced themselves from one another, yethe was still continually on her mind. She lost a part of her heart and mind in this man; a man who never really even truthfully cared for her. How could she have fooled herself into being so head over heels with someone who himself had so many issues? She tried to build him up when he was going through some tough times. However, during that process, she began to distance herself from the real world. She was happy being with him, in his bed, away from everyone and everything.She thought their commonalities were a good foundation for a positive future together – perhaps that’s why their initial attraction was so stimulating andintoxicating.
He was a very complicated man, but eventually, she’d get through to him and he’d become clear with his emotions and statements to her. Yet, during their recent distance from one another, he started to change. He seemed a ‘good’ different because he was currently working on himself, but he began to reflect a ‘bad’ different towards the way he was treating her. She felt as if he was blaming her for all of the disorderin his life. As if she was a predator, a seductress, a bad person.
His now uninterested behavior made her deeply sad. He told her he needed to work on himself and did not want to get into a love triangle with a married woman. That was an understandable statement to hear from him – but the devilin her believes it takes two to tango and he damn well knew what he was getting himself into from day one with her when they became more than just friends and colleagues. She felt as if he began to constantlylapse into sayingthe whole affair was all her and he had nothing to do with it. When she confronted him about that – like a light switch – he would tell her that shedidmean a lot to him and hedidlove all the times they shared.
His once compassionate personality now changed into The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. She finally took off her rose colored glasses and saw him for him.
“The truth about you and I is that there is no you and I”, he said. That was that.
In the end – she just cried, tried not to think about him anymoreand tried not to think about fucking naive she’d acted while dreaming about a new life with him. She needed to remember how strong, confident and happy she was before she met him. Falling in love with him was an honest mistake. “Pull yourself together”, she told herself.Que ser,ser.
7. An Open Letter to Him
I hope one day that you realize I did truly care for you. I can promise you, you are going to miss me, putting up with your crazy and refusing to give up on you. I realize that overall, you weren’t worth it. There were many moments with you that made me extremely happy and enamored, but the majority of the time you just shut me out. We might have had something really great together, but I guess we’ll never know. As for me, I should have known better. As for you, you lost a person who actually accepted you for you and who wasn’t afraid of the skeletons in your closet.
I might have been unimportant to you, but I am of great fucking value to myself. So I thank you with all of my heart for remindingme of that.
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from I Never Wanted My Husband The Way I Want This Man And Ill Do Anything To Have Him
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Break ups
Sometimes through no fault of anyones things just dont work out. Youre just not compatible in the long run. No matter how in love either of you are the story doesnt always end in rainbows and sunshine and riding off into the sunset with a big curly cursive The End stickered on the screen. This is real life. Ive dated my friend. Ive broken up with my friend. And hes still a very good friend. Is it easy? No its the hardest thing ive ever had to do. Because for a year we had a routine and now its gone. You dont get how much things change until you see each other and all you want is to hug him and make the world dissapear like it always did. And for the couple seconds you let yourself pretend, it does dissapear and its just you pressed against his chest listening to the heartbeat youve fallen asleep to and feeling the warmth you basically slept on him for because you were never warm enough and youre surrounded by a smell that wasnt from cologne or body wash it was just him. And then the world crashes back down and your heart yells dont let go and your brain screams run away. Because it knows that tonight youll curl up in the tshirt he bought you for christmas and cry yourself to sleep. It knows that whats best for both of you is to cut this short now and leave. But your body doesnt move. Because youre heart has stopped. Its savoring this moment because its been sad for a month. Your brain can tell you, it can scream and yell until you have a headache but your heart wont listen and thats what makes you move. Right now youre in your happy place, your safe place, nothing hurts here because it cant get to you. He shields you from the world and youre completely content. And then you let go. And everything goes cold and every noise sounds like a bomb going off because you were so focused on his breathing you didnt hear it. And you take a step back and look at him and see everything you love about him. And you have to look away because you cant cry. Hes already teary and you cant be. You promised yourself you wouldnt. But you see everything you loved and then you see everything you missed and didnt appreciate. And you fall in love that little bit more because thats your world right there but you know better. You know it wont work. Youd sell your soul if that would guarantee it but you know it wouldnt. Sometimes youre better off friends. And thats what you focus on. Just being friends. But how? How can you be just friends with someone that knows everything about you, and not just your favorite color or food. But how you like to sleep, how you will argue with a brick wall if you think youre right and even after you find out you werent. How terrified you are to love someone and why youre like that. That you can turn off being ticklish and wiggle your ears and will literally cut someone completely out of your life if they even think about giving you a cheese filled hotdog. Youre heart breaks all over again. But this is the right choice. And so you both focus on that. And he calls the guy youre talking to now and tells him all the things about you that he needs to know. And you hope whoever he dates next will appreciate him more than you ever did and make him happier than you ever could. And the next day he calls you and for an hour yall talk, and talk, and talk. About everything. From him, to you, to yall, to friends, to common interests, to stupid shit only yall would laugh at. And for awhile its back to normal. Everythings okay. You cant cut him out. You cant lose him. And you cry. Youve cried so much you dont even know why youre crying anymore. You cant tell if these are happy or sad tears because they are a little bit of both. But you breathe and you look at the picture of you two and smile. Because no matter how much it hurts now it would hurt so much more if he was gone completely. I dont regret a second of the last year. I dont regret him or our relationship. I appreciate everything thats happened. I appreciate him. And he will always be my friend and have a place in my heart and my life. But sometimes love isnt enough and its noones fault.
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