#but i will not apologize for like. being silly doing life updates in the tags
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#one piece#sanji#black leg sanji#everysanji#thriller bark#ch473#ik this is not on the same post i had my little enstars tag ramble on#and i've said before idk how many of you read these (though evidently enough of you do i see you#people who prev tags my silly comments. and reply to me as well hiiii)#but i will not apologize for like. being silly doing life updates in the tags#i've been told one of my charm points is that i'm very passionate about things i like#idk how to flirt i just let my autism flare up til my girlfriend kisses me /j <- mostly cuz we're ldr#augh speaking of my gf.... she's coming to visit me in june for a wedding for my friend#she's my +1 i'm excited to see her we're gonna go on a cute date the day after#oh i'm excited i havent seen her since january 2023 before we even got together lmao#okay. now that i got that out of the way i should finish queuing this chapter before i go to sleep
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hi! i found your blog like an hour ago (though i've been familiar with your art for a /long/ time; when i read that ask you got earlier about you being THE tf2 artist, i thought to myself, "wow, really? the only tf2 art i can think of that's deserving of that description is [vividly pictures YOUR fanart]" -- so when i checked your art tag it was genuinely like encountering a celebrity, heh. all this to say, you really ARE The TF2 Artist. it's an honor to finally properly follow your blog :]). i've been reading your posts about your personal journeys (both physical and emotional/self-conceptual) and i've just been... really really moved by it all? your openness with feeling disconnected with your art, and then how you've slowly come to reconnect with it in a new way and restructure it back into your life... it just fills me with so much catharsis and hope. because life is hectic and things change so much and the way that one creates art as an adult is going to be different than how one created art as a teenager... so to see you acknowledge that fact and then share your own journey? ahh god like i said... it's really profound. i'm a lot younger than you (i turn 20 next month, actually!), so you've experienced so much more to life than me, and hearing how you've struggled with and then gotten out of so many of the fears that i have is just... deeply, deeply inspiring to me. especially your latest posts about your time in australia, and how it's always been something you've wanted to do but spent so many years stuck/anxious/stagnant... and how now you've finally actually *done it* and it's *real* and that you had the most amazing incredible time that exceeded all your expectations?!?! and not only that, but how finally achieving this thing you've always wanted changes the narrative of how you previously defined yourself... that now maybe you ARE the sort of person who can do the things you love and have the things that make you happy... maybe i'm projecting too much here heh god but my point is. it just made me very emotional and so VERY very utterly elated for you :'] and just augh. i am so glad you've had this incredible experience. and like i've said half a dozen times by now (because it's just so true) it is just. so inspiring to me. everything you've shared with such honesty and humanity has been just so profoundly moving to see and it fills me with so much hope. thank you for sharing your journey with us, and thank you as always, past and present and future, for your art. i hope this message isn't too terribly parasocial, and if it is, i apologize ;_; and i hope you're having a lovely day!!!
hey there !
this kind of hit me like a truck but in the most positive way, and i am not exaggerating when i say what you wrote also brought me to tears.
first of all thanks for your generous words regarding my art and sdkjfhkjas i still cannot wrap my head around the idea that you (and at least one other person) thinks about me as THE tf2 artist because... i like my art just fine, it's just there are other folks out there, with their almost god-like tf2 art, meanwhile i just spammed y'all with my sniperxspy art and some random silly stuff over the years... but i love it, so thank you so so much, the thought that you guys dig my art this much will always knock me right off my feet in the most positive way 🧡🧡🧡
ok so, the next part took me a while to formulate because how do i respond to such a heartfelt message in a way that shows my gratitude just right? like i want to thank you again for reaching out and writing all this, but also for taking your time and reading through my blog. i know that everything i post here is open to the internet and a lot of ppl, so sharing personal information (in form of updates in life) is not always the best idea. but i always admired ppl on here that were able to reflect on their lives and share what they've learned. even if it's just somethig as simple as "and after each day comes another and it will be different, for the worse or the better, but different at least", which, falling on the right ears at a specific time, can change perspective (it did for me on multiple occasions, this and other takes, because hearing from ppl who go through similar things is a sad reality, but also such a connecting experience). so in a way, sharing is caring, and so talking about life experiences, especially when they are kind of abstract, like art blocks, depressions, can really open some unexpected doors.
so what also happened after being open about vulnerable situations in life was ppl reaching out. and this was really something that left me so speechless. i had several ppl who took their time and wrote to me about their experiences and ways of coping strategies and other helpful actions. and sometimes they just acknowledged what i wrote which was such a warm gesture that made me feel seen. and i cannot put into words how much that meant to me when i felt at my lowest a few years back. let's be honest for a second, on here we hardly know each other, even if we are mutuals, but that doesn't stop us from reaching out to one another because that is such a big part of the human experience.
sorry for rambling but it is hard, at least for me, just trying to fully grasp it all. it makes me so happy to read that catching up on the things i wrote about my life resonated with you on a deeper level and that it gave you something back in exchange - catharsis and hope. i am deeply touched by your words and your ability to grasp the essence of what i tried to convey, it feels almost surreal to have it summarized and reflected so clearly when my original thoughts were scattered all over my blog over a span of multiple months, years even. like, really, thank you so much for all of this, the time and thoughts you put into your message, your genuine expression of your feelings and joy on my behalf, it means a lot and i fail to put my thanks into words, idk... i feel seen again. and no worries, i don't think this is too parasocial, after all i put my thoughts out there, and you just happened to read them 🧡
so again and again, thank you so much, and i also hope you have a lovely day <3
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– G U I D E L I N E S .
⭑ BLOG INFO.
this is an independent roleplay ask blog (wow that’s a mouthful)
lucifer usually types out his own replies and ocassionally as an editor over his shoulder (me). lucifer knows he’s speaking with the living world but doesn’t know he’s in the show called ‘hazbin hotel.’
⭑ CRITICISM.
i answer a lot of asks in the day meaning i’ll likely make typos so do be kind if you spot them! i will only be taking constructive criticism into consideration. this blog is only my second shot at roleplaying so apologies if there are any issues!
⭑ PORTRAYAL.
lucifer will be portrayed as i see fit. he can be silly and kind towards lighthearted asks. inversely, he can be serious towards other asks, but please remember to separate me from the character.
⭑ ASK RULES.
NSFW is okay on my blog, seeing as lucifer is also quite open to the idea. excessively troll / low effort asks (e.g. i have had TONS of asks just saying ‘bald’) will be ignored as it does take time and energy out of me to tap into the character’s voice when i answer these.
this one’s specific and it is actually the reason i had to do a heavy update on my guidelines, but; i have had people come into my inbox saying they take pleasure in indulging in the following : dr*gs, m*rder, ab*se, s*icide, sh, and more along these lines. asks like these aren’t allowed unless you’re clearly joking or using it as an expression. however, merely mentioning these topics IS allowed. i understand some people will still not be comfortable seeing it being used as such, but as someone who’s had experience in the last three topics listed, i’m not easily fazed and do not wish to censor this blog too much. here are some examples of what i do not allow :
the rest is only the obvious : i will not condone homophobia and racism, and will not be entertaining asks over political views.
however, if you are suffering from s*icidal thoughts or sh and you cannot refrain from sending me an ask about it, please at the very least provide me a way to contact you in private so as to not trouble others viewing this blog.
⭑ RESPONSE TIME.
to those who have been here since the beginning, i am so sorry i am no longer able to get through asks as quickly. i have a real life as well as my main blog to attend to so you ask might take a while to get to! i should not take more than a week to get to your ask, but apologies if i still do.
⭑ ART.
any art on this blog (as scarce as it may be) is drawn by the editor, me. please do not repost without my permission!
⭑ OOC.
some of my personal thoughts or comments to your asks will be in the tags labelled as ‘ooc’. sometimes i may also make announcements on this blog without using lucifer’s voice so do take not of that!
⭑ WARNINGS.
as mentioned above, this blog may contain mentions of m*rder, ab*se (probably because of val asks) nsfw, manipulation, gore, body horror, immoral views, etc.
⭑ UPDATE LOG.
03.04.24 — more clear guidelines hehe
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life update ig ??:
hi hi hi hi hi hi hi !!!
ok so
1. i mentioned about having medical issues and some people got concerned so i just want to quickly explain the thing yk; in short it turns out having anxiety can cause heart arrhythmia ????? which can be like kinda dangerous;; but like in most cases it's fairly harmless so i should be alright :] !! still have to go check it out at the hospital (which i have been sorta putting off for a while bc yk. anxiety,, lol) but like other than it stressing me out a bit, everything is relatively fine :]
2. school is kicking my ass rn 💀 have a lot of unfinished work and missed a ton of classes bc my mental health kinda sucks,, so yk it's not exactly going great lol. but uhhhhhhhhhh im sure I'll figure it out ? ig ?? ye.
3. got a small art block. well it's more like "i have so much work to do, how dare i draw at a time like this" (and then just go to sleep bc im soo stressed and overwhelmed about everything 💀) but like. I'll probably get over it soon 🤷
idk i also just feel super obligated to always post super high effort paintings if i have many followers yk? like alot of the time i just feel like my drawings aren't good enough and everyone will like despise me for it;; and idk ig i just need constant approval for everything i do for some reason sjdhjshd. ik it's like. a really inaccurate and terrible way to look at it but i just can't rlly help it;;
uhhh all that to say, i hope it's alright if i post more sketches and unfinished drawings ? ;;
4. i would like to formally apologize for barely responding to literally anything. like. im so sorry dudes;;;;;;; unfortunately i have. very intense social anxiety and literally do not respond to anyone ever. (/srs it's like. a genuine issue in my life. whoops) but like i feel super bad about it bc i don't want to seem like i don't care T_T cuz lik e. i literally read every comment, message, tag, etc. and they always make me so so so happy ;;;;; like i routinely show screencaps of random comment to my friends gush about how nice they are 💀 idk point being; im a loser, i love all of you and it blows my mind that anyone cares about my silly drawings for a p much dead fandom lol.
extra: also i uh made a creepypasta oc 🧍♂️might post about him maybe idk im scared it'll be cringe sjhsjsgdhgdhd epic
TLDR; pretty stressed, small art block, school suckz, might die but probably not lol.
(sorry this came off super negative and sort of venty 💀 its all good i swear, im just silly)
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Hey, how are you doing? I hope you’re alright. 💕 I’ve been reading your status updates on Constellations and the Epilogue, and I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re amazing. Your writing is incredible and I love it. Your stories are so well thought out and the characters are ✨on point✨, and the plot is complex and detailed and aaahhh! It has me hooked! 🤩
And I understand how it hurts when you put so much effort and love into a story, only to post it and not see others be anywhere near as excited or invested as you are. I know how discouraging it can be. And it may be a little silly, but I do want to apologize for not commenting lately—life took some difficult turns for me healthwise around the end of last year and I haven’t been able to catch up! I’m still on Chapter 4 of Constellations! 😭 BUT Chapter 5 is open on my phone, and I am READY to read it as soon as I have the time (and mental energy, but that’s a whole ‘nother issue 😩). Don’t worry that your writing isn’t enough, or be discouraged if some readers don’t catch hints while others are figuring it all out seemingly too easily. Everybody reads and comprehends stuff differently, and it’s not a sign that your writing is bad if they don’t catch it! Honestly, I’m pretty bad at catching hints the first time I read a story unless they’re pretty darn obvious. I don’t usually notice subtle hints until the second, or third, or even seventh read-through, haha! (on the bright side, rereading stories and rewatching TV shows is always fun!) 😅
I guess what I really wanted to say is… don’t give up hope. Don’t lose your love and enthusiasm for your works, or feel like they aren’t worth writing because others don’t seem interested in them. At the heart of it all… at the end of the day… write because you love to. Because it makes you happy. And know that it doesn’t have to be “perfect”—the main goal should be that you enjoy it. That’s something I’m trying to teach myself, too. 💕
Thank you for taking the time to write this message and send it. I appreciate you're very kind words 💕I'm doing okay, I just had to take a step back for a bit from socials and stuff. I'm gonna keep that up for a while.
Please don't apologize for not commenting or taking your time reading. Your health always comes first, and I'm sorry if I came off as childish or needy, that wasn't my intention. Two things just happened that set me off and the timing of it was incredibly poor 😓
Please take your time reading; none of it is going anywhere, and don't feel obligated to leave comments either. i'm realizing that, even if chapters are short or long, finding the time to finish things is difficult, and everyone lives different lives. And I'm sorry about all the spoilers on this blog, I'll tag that better from now on.
But I really do think I got confused or disjointed in my perceptions; everyone here knows so much because i've been asked questions and given answers and people have interacted, so people following me here have more context than the average ao3 user. But I've kinda been expecting everyone to be on the same page, which will never be true.
I'm also the same way where it takes me a while to pick up on hints. I actually changed my writing style to prevent this. I got tired of reading books in college where you had to dive into every little thing. the hints and clues weren't obvious to me. I decided then that, when I wrote, I wanted things to be bold, obvious, but beautiful. I didn't want to make readers feel like they're missing something. I wanted them to trust that every answer, every clue would be answered in time. I made that promise to myself a decade ago, and being reminded of how different people interpret things just...made me remember.
I take writing really seriously, probably too seriously, but I've been doing it for so long and I love doing it. I want to be good at it. When it feels like I've gone back on that promise to myself, I get frustrated. I think of ways I could've fixed things. But I also remember that those books and those writing styles just weren't for me. I wasn't the target audience.
Sorry to go off on a tangent, but I wanted to explain why I got upset. I still love Constellations and I'm posting it on ao3 out of convenience, really. It's easier to reference and search there in one "Entire Work" than to have 5 documents open. The fact that others can see and read and have fun is a bonus. But I'm committed to telling this story, and I'm gonna finish with a bang.
Thank you, I won't forget why I'm doing this and that my thoughts/feelings come first! 😤I hope your health concerns are taken care of soon. Take it easy, and thanks again! 💕
#ask#this is very kind i'm sorry i worried people i was just REAL upset/mad#but i'm better now. i just needed to take a minute and refocus and remind myself of a few things#we're still chugging along#but seriously thank you for sending this. i'm really glad you like constellations! that means a lot to me#but seriously--health comes first. and DON'T FEEL PRESSURED TO COMMENT!!! 😤#okay love you bye~ 💕
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bsfs older brother sukuna asks!
(these are old asks so ik this is about the last chapter)
BUT EEK THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS IS SO SO SWEET. like legit all the characters are all my friends in real life but also they are all me and i LOVE that they feel real bc lowkey I put my own feelings into it 90% of the time so.
THANK U THANK U THANK U I LOVE U SM
will gladly take you up on the offer 💌 but on the real, THANK U SO SO MUCHHHHH
so real of you though bc he gives me hyperfixation too. chapters lately have only been so long or thought out because I think about him 24/7.
I am cooking some INSANE stuff like I need to chill out in the brain. it's giving method acting level "that was so unnecessary you did not need to write that" but here we are.
today I looked at the masterlist and realized the content tag said "light angst".....so I definitely need to go change that LMFAO.
this is also old. BUT APOLOGIES! do hope you loved the sammy arc bc as a girl with a big sister I LIVE FOR THE SAMMY ARC!
correct. they also do that one where you paint each other but y/n paints him really good and he just paints her as the babadook.
oh. my. goodness. YOU ARE AMAZING!!!
first of all, appreciate so bad that you don't comment about chapter updates. i gets lots of asks (both polite but also some that are kind of demanding) about when i post chapters but i appreciate that you just pop out and read when i'm ready to write.
i saw a post today about how people treat fic writers on this app like influencers, how there's an expectation to always be producing that comes with that short attention span content type relationship and i can't stop thinking about it. i do really think that my best work comes out of me being able to sit on it, think about it until i am ready to put it out (and I hope that it shows in the quality of the work that i'm trying to put my best foot forward instead of uploading all the time)
i am also just a girl™️ college is stressful, life is stressful, sometimes there's a lot going on and i disappear for a few weeks so i appreciate you always coming back when i'm ready!
and UGH thank you so much about the comments about the past and overcoming it. i've said this before but a lot of sukuna's past but also y/n's is from stuff that is quite literally me pulling the crazy thoughts out of my brain and putting it out there. even though what's happening in the fic isn't really happening to me, it does somehow make those types of things so much better for me when people send me sweet stuff like this and tell me that it makes them feel seen, or they feel things, because it makes me feel warm that I was somehow able to make all that pain worth it for someone else, even if it is in a silly little fanfiction. IDK im getting emotional tomorrow is the one year anniversary of me starting my silly little blog so im thinking lots of thoughts.
AND I LOVE YOU!
(I ignored all the asks about posting another chapter bc I already posted the new chapter LOL)
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Seven Days ~ Chapter Twenty-Four
Seven Days - Modern Tolkien AU
Firefighter Frerin Durin died in a fire set deliberately. But after he helps his brother, Thorin find happiness, Frerin is offered a second chance. He has to prove himself worthy by righting the one major wrong in his life. Otherwise, history will repeat and he will die for good this time. The catch? He has seven days in which to do this and isn’t even certain what his major wrong is.
At least, he doesn’t know for long.
Syd Prescott has known Frerin since high school. She spent one night with him and then he vanished from her life. Now, he claims he wants to make it up to her, to right was he realizes was his major wrong. But can she trust him? And can he prove to her that she can before it’s too late?
A/N - I want to apologize for the slow updates, I haven’t been in a great headspace to write, and with the semester starting this week, my free time is going to be at a premium, so updates may be even slower. Thanks so much for your patience…
I’d like to take a moment to thank both Laura and fizzy
Summary: Syd approaches Gram about living with Frerin, and later, Gram gives him an amulet to protect him from Tori while Gram tries to come up with a solution
Pairing: Modern!Frerin x OFC Syd Prescott
Characters: Frerin, Syd, Gram
Warnings: None
Rating: T
Word Count: 3,420
Tag List: @tschrist1 @i-did-not-mean-to @lathalea @linasofia @fizzyxcustard @legolasbadass @kibleedibleedoo @xxbyimm @arrthurpendragon @exhausted-humxn-being @rachel1959 @laurfilijames @sketch-and-write-lover @sherala007 @enchantzz @knittastically @notlostgnome @myselfandfantasy @medusas-hairband @guardianofrivendell @jotink78 @frosticenow @quiall321 @dianakc @msjava1972
If you’d like to be added (or removed) to the tag list, please just let me know!
Previous chapters can be found here.
Syd was in her closet, flipping through hangers when she heard the low purr of Gram’s Lexus in the driveway. Her belly knotted at the soft slam of the car door, and she scowled. It was silly to be afraid to tell Gram her plans where Frerin was concerned. She was a grown woman and Gram had never treated any of them like children, even when they were children. She knew full well the time would come when her granddaughters would want to fly from the nest and she wasn’t nearly old-fashioned enough to insist any one of them marry a man before sharing a nest with him.
Still, her heartbeat sped up and her belly churned as the front door opened, then closed and Gram called, “Anyone home?”
Syd moved to the doorway. “I’m up here, Gram.”
“Where are your sisters?”
“At the shop. Alex said they had a few seances booked.”
Stairs creaked and the fluttering in Syd’s stomach worsened as footsteps sounded beyond her door and Gram came up to her room. “What are you doing, love?” Gram asked, the creases in her forehead deepening as she pushed the door open wider and peered it to see the mess that was Syd’s closet having vomited onto her bed.
“Gram, I need to talk to you about something.”
Gram’s blue eyes grew soft as she looked from the bed to Syd. “Why do I have the feeling this has to do with a certain Durin boy?”
“Come on in.” Syd stepped back to allow her grandmother room to pass by, then closed the door behind her.
“I’m not wrong, am I, Sydney?”
Leaning against the door, Syd shook her head. “You’re not wrong. Frerin… he asked me to move in with him and I’m going to.”
With a whispered sigh, Gram sank onto the edge of the bed, her long-fingered hands splayed against her thighs. Her nails were long and painted a deep scarlet, glossy with topcoat. “You’ve been seeing him only a little over a week, Syd. Aren’t you rushing it a bit?”
Syd pursed her lips as she mulled over what to tell her grandmother. She knew Gram spoke out of concern for her, and not disdain for Frerin, and that brought a hint of a smile to her lips as she joined her on the edge of the bed. “Yes and no. I’ve known him since I was sixteen, Gram. We were in school together.”
“He was two years behind you, though. And that’s not quite the same thing, either.”
“I know,” she nodded, tucking a wayward curl behind her left ear, “and we only had a few classes together, but… well… I went out with him once last summer as well. So, it’s not like he’s a total stranger to me.”
“Last summer?” Gram’s brow furrowed even deeper as she looked over at Syd. “When?”
Syd hesitated. “In August. It was just one date, and then he got busy and I got busy and that was it until—” She paused. Would Gram believe her or would she think Syd had lost her mind if she confessed what happened over the last week?
“Until when?”
“Well… I’m not really sure how to explain it, Gram.”
“You start by not beating about the bush, Sydney.”
The hint of impatience in Gram’s voice was foreign, and it made the butterflies in Syd’s belly even worse, made her mouth dry as she swallowed hard and said, “You have to promise me you will keep an open mind, okay?”
“An open mind for what?”
“Just—promise me, okay?”
Gram’s thin lips disappeared as she pressed them together, but slowly, she nodded. Syd drew in a deep breath and said, “Last week, when Frerin came into the shop, it was like any other day for us. But it wasn’t for him, not by half—”
With that, she launched into an explanation of the events of the past eight days, fighting off a wince as Gram’s silver eyebrows almost disappeared into her hairline and her mouth formed a perfect Oof surprise. To her credit, though, she remained quiet as Syd wound through what happened—minus the amazing sex, Gram didn't need all the details—including the phone call she’d received from Frerin regarding Tori, and wound up the story with, “So, I’m going to live with him.”
“Syd…” Gram’s expression became one of utter concern. “Are you certain this is the wise thing to do?”
“I love him, Gram. And he loves me and we will eventually get married, but for now, yeah, it’s the wise thing to do.”
“And what about this Tori person?”
“That’s where I was hoping you’d be able to help.”
“Do you think you or Frerin are in real danger?”
“Gram, she left him in that warehouse to die. That he didn't was only because she didn't count on the bond between firemen. Nico is Frerin’s best friend aside from Thorin. He wasn’t letting Frerin die there.” Syd fought off the shiver that threatened to ripple along her spine. “And I was kind of hoping you’d be able to give me some advice there.”
“I’m not really certain, because she is not a vengeful spirit, but something stronger, I think.”
The pit of Syd’s belly sank. “So, what do I do, then?”
“Let me go into my library and look through a few things and I’ll see what we can come up with.” Gram brought her hand down atop Syd’s and gave it a gentle squeeze. “But, take care until we do. You don't know what she has planned or what she is capable of and if you’re going to live with this boy, I’m hoping that means something more is coming down the pike and that I might even have great-grandchildren out of it.”
Great-grandkids.
“Diane asked me how I felt about you, Syd. You know what I told her?”
Her eyes shimmered as they met his and her voice cracked as she whispered, “What?”
“That I love you with everything I have to give and I planned on marrying you if they’d let me come back. I want to marry you and have kids with you, and spend the rest of my life proving to you how I feel about you, honey.”
She smiled at the sudden warmth swirling through her. “I think that is a definite possibility, Gram.”
“But not before you marry him.”
“Gram.”
“I know, I know…” Gram sighed softly as a car door slammed below. “Are you expecting Mr. Durin this evening?”
Syd smiled. “Yeah.”
The doorbell rang then and Gram sighed once more as she got to her feet. “I’ll go let him in. You should try to excavate your room from this mess.”
Frerin couldn't help glancing over his shoulder as he stood on the front porch and waited for someone to answer the door. It was stupid, but he couldn’t stop himself. Every time a car drove by, it seemed to him said car slowed down at the Prescott house. Probably just his imagination but still…
He hadn’t seen Tori since he and Thorin were in the jewelry store and he couldn't decide if that was good or bad. He warned Thorin to just watch his back, to which Thorin assured him that wouldn’t be a problem. Now, he just wanted to make sure Syd was all right and to keep watch over her as well. He didn't know what, if anything, Tori had planned, and he didn't want to take any chances.
The door opened and he found himself eye-to-eye with Gram (or as Thorin called her, Grandmama Prescott) and perhaps he was just becoming paranoid, but she did not look happy. “Frerin,” she said, her voice neutral, “do come in.”
A blast of hot air struck as she stepped aside and gestured for him to cross the threshold, and it was a welcome respite from the cold. The door closed softly behind him and Gram said, “I assume you’re here to pick Syd up?”
“I am, yes.”
“Come into the kitchen with me, if you don't mind. I’d like a word with you.”
His gut curdled. He knew Syd could read auras, but could Gram read minds? Could she look at him and see what he was thinking when it came to her granddaughter and if so, how much danger was he in of losing his boys? If she could see his thoughts, he was screwed and he knew it.
But, since he certainly couldn't say that, he nodded. “Sure, Mrs. P.”
Now she smiled, but it was a perfunctory smile, one she probably gave customers who asked stupid questions. It put him on edge, made him nervous for the first time since he sat in his Jeep in the parking lot across the street from Miss Fortune’s Crystal, trying to talk himself into going into the shop and asking Syd out.
He followed her into the kitchen, where she gestured to one of the chairs around the round kitchen table. “Sit.”
He did just that, drawing out the chair nearest the pantry, and sank into it. “What’s on your mind, Mrs. P.?”
“I should ask you the same thing,” she said, tugging out the chair across from him to sit. “What are your intentions toward Syd? She told me you’ve asked her to live with you?”
“My intentions are to marry her, Mrs. P.” He managed a smile at the hint of surprise in Gram’s eyes. “And actually, since I’m here, I’d like to ask you for your blessing when I do propose.”
“Wait,” Gram’s eyes widened further, “when are you planning this?”
“I don't know yet. She’s a little hesitant about me. She and I…” He smiled. “We have a little bit of history. Not much, but enough.”
“Last August?”
His spine stiffened of its own. She knew about the night Syd spent with him? Be cool and do not shoot yourself in the foot, jackass. “She told you about us going out?”
“She did, yes. She said you’d gone out and then both grew so busy that things went by the wayside.”
“Yeah, I got caught up in work and it was only through dumb luck we reconnected the other week.” He breathed an inward sigh of relief. Gram did not know. His boys were safe.
“And now you want to marry her.”
“I know, it sounds nuts, right? But—”
“She told me.”
He blinked. “I beg your pardon?”
“About your death. She told me everything that has happened since the third. And even about Tori.”
He didn't know how to reply to that. It wasn't often he was struck dumb, but he was right then. He didn’t know what to say, didn't know what to think, and could only just stare at Gram as he managed to stammer, “She—she told you?”
Gram nodded. “She knew I’d understand, or at the least, not think either one of you was crazy. But, I have to admit, I’m little… troubled.”
His gut curdled for the second time in ten minutes. “Troubled?”
“Yes. Troubled. I mean, it isn’t something I ever thought possible. People don’t just come back from the dead, Frerin.”
“Yeah, at one time, I’d have agreed with you. But, I know better now.” He drummed his fingertips against the table and just held Gram’s gaze. It wasn’t easy. Her eyes were pale blue and direct and he had the feeling she could easily tell when someone was lying to her. Well, he had nothing to worry about there, and he knew he could prove it to her. “Syd’s dad, he was your son, wasn’t he? Neil?”
Gram visibly stiffened. “He was, yes.”
“And Amanda. She is Syd’s mom, right?”
“Frerin, Syd could’ve told you their names.”
“Yeah, she could’ve.” He nodded, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. Lowering his hand, he continued, “But she doesn’t like to talk about what happened to them and I don't push her. But, I know he used to call her Little Red and she hated it. And her mom used to tell him he’d give her a complex about being a redhead.”
“Little Red…” Gram’s eyes widened. “I haven’t heard that name in a long time,” she murmured, her eyes softening. “And Syd did hate it. It was before Charlie was born and Syd was so self-conscious about not looking like either her sisters or her mother. Amanda was blonde, but Neil was dark. Teddy is the spitting image of him, but Syd looks like her mother.”
“I know. I’ve met them.” Frerin smiled. “Neil said you should be careful where the chief is concerned. Everyone knows about you two.”
Gram didn't look the least bit embarrassed. “Thorin could’ve told you that. Or Syd. That’s no secret.”
“It’s not, but he was concerned, that’s all.”
“You saw my son?”
“I saw him and Amanda. I don't know either of them well, but when I first started coming around to Al, they thought I was going to try to move in on her and they were concerned. You know, with me being dead and all…”
“Wait, Al?”
“Yeah. It’s what I call Alex. It’s a whole long story, but you saw me as a dead guy. She saw me as a dead guy. Thorin saw me as a dead guy. But, then I was given that second chance and none of last spring happened. Time reset for me. It reset for you all, as well, even if you don’t remember it. But I asked that Thorin and Al be allowed to still be together because they’re good together.”
“Frerin.”
“I know it sounds insane. But, it’s the truth. And it’s also the truth that I want to marry Syd. I love her, Mrs. Prescott. I want to take care of her. I want to grow old with her, and with any luck, I’ll be able to do just that.” He cleared his throat and met Gram’s eyes once more. “And I’d really like your blessing to ask her.”
“Give it to him, Gram.”
Frerin smiled as Syd’s voice floated over his shoulder and he twisted to see her leaning against the doorjamb, her expression stone serious. “I mean it, Gram. You know you believe him, no matter how crazy it sounds.”
Gram didn't say anything for a long moment, but this time, Frerin’s gut remained calm. Then, she drew in a deep breath and slowly nodded. “I do believe him. I believe you both. But, you have to be careful, Frerin. Syd told me about Tori. Let me look into what options you have in dealing with her. But, in the meantime, you need to protect yourself.”
“Yeah, I know. I just don’t know exactly how.”
Gram stood. “I do. Come with me.”
Frerin looked back at Syd, who nodded. “It’s safe, Frerin. I promise.”
“Well, I know that.”
“Come on,” she reached over to slip her hand into his, “I’ll go with you.”
He grinned as her fingers tightened about his. “Go with me? Where are we going?”
“My room,” Gram told him, leading the way to the back staircase.
The stairwell was narrow and dusty, and each riser creaked when he stepped on it. Syd brought up the rear, smiling as she said, “Don’t look so worried, Frerin. I promise you, Gram is on our side. She likes you.”
Frerin squeezed her hand gently. “I know.”
They went up to the third floor, where the stairwell ended at a doorway. Gram turned the crystal handle and the door swung open into her room, which was every bit as Gram-ish as he’d expect from the sloping ceiling to the floor to ceiling windows at the far end framed with lilac colored sheers. The walls were an odd shade—appearing at first to be dark gray, but then shifted to purple instead, the furniture was dark, old, heavy pieces that were most likely antiques, and the bed itself was a four-poster monstrosity draped with gauzy purple hangings.
On the far side of the room, alongside those windows, Gram had an altar set up and in the middle of it stood a small cherrywood cabinet. She made a beeline for that cabinet and opened the doors on the left side of it. She bent forward, peering into the compartment, a forefinger tapping absently against her lips.
“Aha,” she finally said, reaching into the compartment, then came up with a narrow black leather cord dangling from her fingers and dangling from that cord was a disk of cobalt blue glass with a small bit of onyx set in the center. “This will do it.”
“What is it?”
Syd looked up at him. “It’s a nazar. It protects the wearer from evil, like your St. Florian protects you. Although, it didn't do much good when you died, did it?”
He caught the nazar in the palm of his hand. “I wasn't wearing it when I died, Syd. I’d taken it off at Lisa’s and when I went to put it back on, I couldn't find it. I thought her cat must’ve swiped it from her dresser, knocked it behind it or something. Apparently, it fell into a drawer and she found it when she was packing up her things to move. She brought it back to Thorin.” Without thinking, he reached down to catch the medallion between his thumb and forefinger, which glinted even in the low light. He’d also found out that night before his funeral, Thorin slept with Lisa. While he’d been furious at the time, Frerin now realized it was more possessiveness than actually caring that they’d slept together that made him so angry. After all, he knew for a fact Lisa had been cheating on him. Somehow, he wasn’t surprised she’d decided to fuck his brother as well.
But, one glance over at Syd and Frerin realized it didn't matter, now. It didn't matter one bit.
Syd’s forehead furrowed. “Why did you take it off? I’ve not seen you take it off at all in the time we’ve been together.”
He glanced down at her as he tucked it back beneath his shirt. “She didn't like when it hit her—” He stopped, mindful of Gram’s presence—“I just took it off.”
Syd pressed her lips together briefly and he wished he’d just kept his mouth shut about it altogether. Where Syd didn't mind when the medallion swung out and caught her chin, Lisa complained about it, so he’d take off his medallion if he had any hopes of getting any.
Gram didn't seem to notice as she said, “This should keep you safe, especially since I’m giving it to you.”
“Mrs. P., I can’t take this.”
“No, you can and you will. When given as a gift, the protection is even greater. My girls all have one and your brother has one. And now, so do you. Do not take it off. And Syd, the same goes for you. Is that clear?”
Syd nodded. “Of course, Gram.”
“Good. Now, I wish you’d consider staying here, at least until I figure out how we deal with a vengeful angel, for lack of a better word.”
Frerin shook his head. “I can’t, Mrs. P. I have a dog waiting for me at home.”
“Your dog would be welcome here as well,” she told him without hesitation. “I would sleep much more soundly.”
Frerin glanced down at Syd, who said, “You aren’t going to make us sleep in separate rooms, are you, Gram?”
He winced as Gram sighed softly, muttered, “Shit,” and then added, “No. I won’t. It would be silly of me to assume nothing has happened between the two of you. You’ve spent the last week at his house, after all. I’d have to be a complete idiot to think you slept on the sofa every night.”
“Frerin?”
He smiled at the hopeful note in Syd’s voice. Sleeping in the Prescott house instead of his own put a serious crimp in his plans for the night, but the look of relief that swept across her face when he nodded and said, “If it’ll make you all happy,” more than made up for it. He didn't want her to worry about him any more than she had to, so it was a small sacrifice to make.
He just hoped it didn't take Gram long to come up with a solution to the Tori problem.
#Gerard Butler#Frerin Durin#Richard Armitage#The Hobbit#Thorin Oakenshield#Hobbit Fic#Hobbit Fanfic#Fan fiction#The Hobbit fan fiction#Frerin x OC#AU#Frerin Fic#Is it hot in here?#Romance#Modern AU
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RULES AND ABT SECTION
I will add to this periodically when needed <3
This blog currently updates whenever I am able to do so. Sometimes I am not able to for a while, or I just flat out forget, so please be patient with me. Apologies in advance for unannounced hiatuses :(
I don't know if this is normal for ask blogs? But I'm not necessarily roleplaying as any of the characters. If you send in an ask, I'll have the characters replying thru comic form lol. Sometimes I'll also just post random comics I make.
All asks must be legitimate and not things such as harassment or spam. thank you in advance for following this guideline. If you disobey this, you will be blocked. No warning, just a block.
~FAQ~
What games does this blog contain?
For now, it contains Doom, Metroid, Halo, Half Life, Dead Space, Atomic Heart, Postal, Duke Nukem, and Wolfenstein. Depending on how I feel/my ever-expanding, autistic interests, this list will expand accordingly.
Do you ship any characters?
Yes, as of this time solely Samus and Doomguy. If you dont like it you can block the tag, as I'll tag them accordingly.
But Master Chief isn't transfem! Gordon Freeman isn't Black! etc.
Yes, in canon this is true. Media is meant to be interpreted though and I have fun with it on my end. If you dont like things like that, this blog isn't for you. Sorry bud.
Don't you know Atomic Heart is Anti-Ukraine Propaganda?
From where I stand, I don't think it is. I say first and foremost, I 100% support Ukraine and I havn't actually bought the game, I got it off of gamepass. But due to the concepts and actual development of the game starting years ago (concepts go back to as far as 2008 if you look hard enough), from my opinion I don't believe the game has Communist propaganda. I do not support Russia in any way right now, I just want to like my silly, stupid game. I want to get that out of the way in case I get any asks about it, although I don't know if that controversy is still on-going.
I can't think of many other rules, so a proper introduction to the admin, yours truly!
My name is Flynn, and I'm a 17yrold transmasc autistic dude lol. I have a great fondness for old games, particularly FPS boomer-shooters, and I'm fuckeng insane lol. I like making shitty (or sometimes not so shitty) forms of art to express this fondness. Outside of making comics for this blog, I occasionally do serious art I might post here, along with 3d modeling, being a part-time game dev, and I love collecting things, naturally games and old mlp toys from the 80's. Also if you couldn't tell by the PFP and straight up what my name is, I project HARD onto Doomguy I am so sorry about this guys. Anyways,
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June Activity Update (Pinned Post)
Happy Pride Month to all fellow members of the alphabet mafia! 🥳 🏳️🌈
Before we get into it: there was apparently a following glitch recently. If I unfollowed, refollowed, or you softblocked, my apologies and please see this post.
With that out of the way, it’s time once again for an activity update! If you’re new here: these monthly posts help me to keep track of what the frick I’ve been doing, particularly when tumblr breaks or the brainfog strikes. This update includes things posted or in drafts for the month of May. Everything else can be found in previous monthly updates under this tag. There’s also the thread tracker here.
The full activity update (along with OOC house keeping) is below the cut. Bold text = links.
If you want to see all IC interactions without the other stuff, click here. If you’d like to start something new, there are opens, memes, and the wishlist, or you can just hit up the DM’s. You can also add Ty on Wire for IC texting.
Now onto the update!
OOC Housekeeping:
For folks waiting on AU replies: please see the note beside your tag! ❤️
I’ll be at my parents house for another month, but have the Firefox workaround for trimming threads on mobile. The extensions sometimes play up a bit when using that, so please let me know if there are any issues with my replies, and I shall sort it out.
I want to start doing more story arc development on Ty’s blog again, so expect a few posts about that to come soon.
Threads, replies, memes, and other IC interactions:
(In alphabetical order by username. Not including memes still in the inbox!)
At the motel (link) - @demcnsinmymind
Ty is both offended and a scared by Azzy. (drafted) - @demcnsinmymind
Random encounters meme: drunk Ty! (link) - @demcnsinmymind
Taking Lance on a hunt! (drafted) - @demcnsinmymind
Car trouble (drafted! So sorry for the wait, Ty is refusing to cooperate with her other verses rn.) - @demcnsinmymind
GDI Kage. 😂 (link) - @demonstigma
Birthday mischief: crossbow excitement! (link) - @derschwarzeengel
Damon meets dark!Ty (drafted) - @derschwarzeengel
Finding Vampire!Damon (link) - @derschwarzeengel
Traumatised for life. 😂 (link) - @derschwarzeengel
Making their getaway. (link) - @derschwarzeengel
Damon shields Ty, Ty is ANGY. (link) - @derschwarzeengel
Werewolf problems. (drafted) - @derschwarzeengel
Roasting 50 shades (drafted) - @derschwarzeengel
Universe differences (drafted) - @derschwarzeengel
Tyler learns about Darklighters and it all gets very sad. (end of thread) - @derschwarzeengel
Starter from @first-born-to-his-name! Thank you, I’ve got it in my drafts. ❤️
Birthday cuteness! (drafted) - @heavenguided
Meeting Hook (link) - @hvbris
Tyler being massively confused by Wednesday (drafted! Sorry for the wait!) - @hvbris
Birthday mischief: extremely normal headwear. (link) - @imprvdente
Human!Ty and FBI!Fish (drafted! So sorry for the wait, Ty is refusing to cooperate with her other verses rn.) - @imprvdente
At the fair (drafted) - @indyflanery
Attempting to babysit the doctor. (link) - @innerwar
Bad jokes with Charm. (drafted) - @innerwar
Demon problems (link) - @magaprima
Leaving the compound (drafted! So sorry for the wait, Ty is refusing to cooperate with her other verses rn.) - @razorfst
“Are you sayin’ I look like a blogger?” (link) - @tobeblamed
No 👏 dead 👏 Sarah’s 👏 allowed!👏 (link) - @unbearablyindifferent
Drafts: 14
Memes/Asks: 9
Headcanon, dash games, and assorted silliness:
No new headcanons or dash games this month! However I am boosting this post from my dear Rookito, so please take a look.
I think that’s everything! As always: please let me know if I’ve missed something. I never intentionally drop threads without notifying, rest assured that if it’s not here I simply have not seen it. Remember to be kind to yourselves, stay safe, and happy pride! ❤️ — Em
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Where has Nyah been all this time?? || PLEASE LOOK AT TAGS
(This post will talk about where I've been, what I've been doing, and also about a few stressful things that have been happening for me lately. This post is a bit of a vent so if you are not comfortable with venting, please feel free to ignore this. I'm alright now. I promise! There may be typos here and some sentences may sound silly or run on. I do apologize. If you do read this whole post and see a Trigger Warning tag I missed, PLEASE let me know and I will update it right away.)
Its been a while, hasn't it? I took a break, came back for a small bit, then disappeared again. I apologize for that. It made it seem like something bad could have happened.. But not counting the negative things that have happened, except for getting into VRChat, I've also gotten into Devil May Cry and let me tell you, DMC5 made me cry on multiple occasions. I could probably talk about it for hours but this isn't the post for that! (I may have even gotten an F/O from the game?? Mmmm?? Thats something I've been taking my time with.)
Life's been a bit hard but I've been pushing through. This post may be a bit long which is why I'll be putting a Read More in it after the TLDR! Please always know to take care of yourself. You may not see worth in you but others do. I do. There is a reason you are still alive. Theres a reason you're still breathing. You may not know why yet but I promise you, one day you will know. I promise.
For the TLDR (To Long Didn't Read): I fell out of the F/O Community because I was uncomfortable to talk about it to my friends at the time since I knew they would be weirded out. I still took a risk and talked about it to my closest friend and in the end, they did say some hurtful things about it. I also delt with issues of someone having feelings for me but me not knowing how to deal with it which caused anger from all my friends and even harassment towards me. This even happened again after the first situation was taken care of. But I got out of both situations and I'm better now. I'm happy and content with where I am!
On May 6th of last year (2022) I got an Oculus Quest 2 for my birthday. Of course, the first thing I did was hop right on VRChat with a friend and explore the fun world of Virtual Reality. After somehow getting over my fear of being in public worlds alone, I started to explore them and game across to nice people who became my friends. That led into gaining even more friends and having a nice friend circle. At this time, I was still strongly in the F/O Community until I realized these people were people that would make fun of something like that. So I ended up never speaking about it. This caused issues to occur when one of my friends gained feelings for me. Yet I was too afraid to confront them head on about it and tell them that I didn't share feelings back since I was afraid of hurting them. Not telling them ended up hurting them even more once I started to distance myself.
This started a train though of them getting angry at me and telling everyone how I was manipulating them and messing with their feelings on purpose. Which everyone believed right away and no one came and talked to me about it. Eventually, since everyone (the friend group had about 7 people in it) was angry, they all confronted me one day about it so randomly. I was asked why I was doing what I did and if I knew how wrong it was. I finally explained to everyone how I was confused on my feelings and didn't understand them. Thankfully, after a good two or so hour talk, no one was upset anymore and I was able to be friends with the person who had feelings for me.
Thats until one of the friends wasn't happy with the outcome and still felt there were issues that weren't solved which started everything back up again. Even the person who had feelings for me got upset again because they started taking my friendliness (which had no hints of romantic interest) as me wanting to be with them. So once again, everyone got angry, and I distanced myself until I left the group with my best friend. I tried my hardest to explain myself but no one would listen. At first, everyone was just angry but then I was being called a wh*re and a manipulator. But I got away from the situation and I was happy for a good while. This issue lasted about two months.
Skip ahead, I have a new friend group and everyone is so kind. My best friend has stayed with me through all of the past issue and still has stayed with me. Until last week. Once again, someone gained feelings for me, but this time I wasn't afraid to talk about my interest in fictional characters ONLY. Everyone in this friend group knew about it. My best friend did make comments about how it was only because I was lonely but that never bothered me. I knew he was just teasing.
But this new friend didn't take well to me not sharing feelings with them. I think the worst thing I ever did was share what happened with the past friend group because this person got in contact with the old friend who had feelings for me and sided with them. I was called horrible names, once again a manipulator, and even accused of gr00ming an 11 year old because I seen him as an internet son who I always hung around. Everyone in this new friend group was always around the 11 year old because we never wanted anything bad to happen, such as someone saying something inappropriate or rude to him. Yet I was called the gr00mer because I treated him like a son. All of this led to very negative thoughts. I never hurt myself but thoughts occurred with wanting to. I lost my best friend who through all this time was on my side with everything but then turned to theirs, I was called horrible things, and even fully made fun of by my best friend because of interest in fictional characters. I never knew that something that was over with in the past (over with four a good two months), would come back in the end. But once again, I left the friend group.
All of this caused me to become very self-conscious of my words now. I always feel like I'm going to say something that an actual manipulator would say or that I may somehow lead someone on by accident. My friendliness has come off on some people as romantic interest when it was never intended. So now I've been afraid of my words and if I somehow may accidentally say something to someone that has the wrong intentions from what I really mean.
In the end, this may sound silly, but in the end, I'm happy with the outcome because I came to understand myself better and become better at speaking up right away. Even getting all these people out of my life was good because I've realized I was pushing away my true interests such as my own F/Os and even the F/O Community. The Community has a deep place within my heart and soul because of all the kind people I met. I even was able to understand myself better through this Community. I still do play VRChat. I've just been keeping to myself mainly but its been nice. I'm away from the negative people and learned that in the end, you need to tell people things right out: such as not having interest in real life people. It may be scary but if someone can't accept you for you then don't be somewhere you are not comfortable. Do not become someone else for people. Always be you. Be true to yourself.
If you read to here, thank you. And even the people who won't see this part of the message, thank you for just being here and being alive. Hard things will come everyone's way but I know you can all always push through it. You always can, no matter what is happening.
I apologize if this post is very messy with words. So much happened in the span of four to five months and its not a fun topic to talk about. I even left out some small things such as the first person contacting my Mom and trying to make himself look good so she would tell me to get into a relationship with him. But like I said in the beginning: I'm doing better now. I'm happy and content with where I am in life. I'm back in the F/O Community, which feels like home, and I even have gotten closer with some F/Os. I even gained a new one I think. I'm still working on that heh. But thank you again for everyone's support. The support of commenting on posts, liking them reblogging, sending asks, all of that. Thank you. Thank you so much for being reasons to smile. Thank you for being you. (After rereading this, I realized I would like everyone to see my thanks so I'll be reposting this last part of this post!)
#Nyah Speaks#tw vent#tw venting#tw mental abuse#tw grooming#tw verbal abuse#tw cursing#This post is a bit messy since I was talking about a highly stressful situation. My apologies#All words that could be triggering have been censored for anyone does read this book of a post#Remember that you have worth#You have a reason to live
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🌸 About me 🌸
Hii, you can call me Blush or Jude, I'm 23. I recently started doing very basic readings, and wanted to practice more so I started doing some silly readings for fun, but I'm open to doing more serious ones. English is not my first language (yeah, yeah I know the I apologize for bad my english meme) so if there's something in my reading that doesn't make much sense feel free to tell me so I can explain myself better, I want people to be able to understand me. That being said, my first language is Spanish, so feel free to send me asks in either one, I'll respond in that language.
🌸 About my blog🌸
I would like this to be a safe space both for me and to anyone who finds my blog, so I will not tolerate any rude or disrespectful comments to me or anyone else. This blog is just to have fun, and not meant to be taken 100% seriously.
Sometimes I put notes and important thing to take into account at the start of my readings (usually at the start of the post, sometimes before the keep reading section), I would really appreciate if you could take the time to read it, as well as the notes I put at the end of each pile.
Any and all asks and submissions are welcomed, it doesn't matter if they are tarot related or not.
Also, since I'm an adult, I'm not really interested in making friends with minors (but I'll still interact in a friendly manner). At the moment I would consider my blog kind of family friendly, so I don't mind minors following me or interacting with my content, this might change if I post something not minor-friendly (unlikely, but still).
🌸 Credits 🌸
I get all the pictures I use for the readings from pinterest, if by any chance someone knows the original artist don't hesitate to send an ask or reply to the reading's post to let me know so I can credit them.
If you are the artist of any of the pictures I used and want me to take it down you can also send me an ask, reply to the reading's post or send me a dm and I'll get to work on removing it from the post as soon as I can! Sometimes we don't want our art to be used by other people and that's okay.
You can find all the credits for the pictures I use on the links section of this post, or just search the tag blush'scredits on my blog!
🌸 Tags 🌸
I use tags in my posts to keep things as organized as I can, you can search this tags in my blog or click on them directly to check more content like this.
#blush'starot (for everything tarot related)
#pac
#future pac
#a message
#favorite character
#your life in
#monthly reading
#blush'sask (for everything ask related)
#anon
#username*
#___ anon*
#pac ideas
#personal
#ñ (para cosas escritas en español)
#THE genshin impact PAC (my pride and joy, but also my suffering)
#blush'scredits (self explanatory)
*This ones are for people to search for their own asks in case tumblr doesn't send a notification that I already answered. You can change "username" for your own, or if you send it in anon, fill the blank with an emoji or word (you can tell me wich one you want, or if you send two asks and didn't specify, I'll asign one to you, however you can request to change it.)
🌸 Links 🌸
If any link doesn't work, let me know so I can fix it.
Main blog (blushvhs)
pfp & header credits
Master list
PAC image's credits
I'll update this post as necessary.
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I posted 12,443 times in 2022
That's 4,037 more posts than 2021!
210 posts created (2%)
12,233 posts reblogged (98%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@fullcravings
@traceytonight
@sosuperawesome
@thebadwulff
@everythingfox
I tagged 3,132 of my posts in 2022
#dms speaks - 1,141 posts
#this looks yummy - 828 posts
#dms answers! - 160 posts
#yandere - 158 posts
#your boyfriend - 132 posts
#your boyfriend game - 127 posts
#your boyfriend fanart - 121 posts
#yb fanart - 115 posts
#yb fandom - 107 posts
#sunny day jack - 105 posts
Longest Tag: 124 characters
#never really had the nerve to share my ocs so i guess i was spared the critical and down right brutal comments of deviantart
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
How do you feel about the possibility of Sundrop/Moondrop (FNaF: Security Breach) as being interesting/hot as a yan.? 🤔 yay or nay??
Gotta say at 1st Sundrop was kinda horrifying with his unhinged voice and forever cursed smile and dead eyes
buuut after reading some very convincing *ahem* "literature" some fun cute animatics and animations I've eased up on the dude and think he could make for a great delusional Yandere! Don't think I'd want to be his Y/N personally tho.
As for Moon drop...he's scary with a kick ass voice and would make for a great and terrifying rough Yandere 😱 The rough Yanderes are scary and quite mean so I wouldn't be down for him either :p (not that I'd have a choice tho I guess 😭😭)
See the full post
8 notes - Posted July 12, 2022
#4
Ok ok ok here's that one final request I finished awhile ago for @calefee apologies for the wait:
She is a very pretty character but god the details were killing me a bit ngl lol but the ending result is pretty good I'd say! Thanks for requesting 💜
If anyone else wants to request go on ahead as well!
11 notes - Posted November 30, 2022
#3
Did you see Angry Boy Pedro’s new update on Twitter? He can play guitar.. I’m like OH THAT’S HOT, THAT’S HOT.
Ngl Pedro? Not a fan. I don't like to be punched in the face >:( or batted to the face???? No bueno buuuuut that being said Anony, Guitar? That would indeed be a weakness of mine for sure 👀👀 so maybe he ain't so bad...Still a 💙Peter💙 Simp for life. Him being able to sing tho...might change my mind...slim chance but still a chance UnU
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Oops my hand slipped
I did NOT mean to have this piece be this good??? It was supposed to just be a sketch lol was fun to draw the angry man :)
Might not like him very much but he does look cool.
19 notes - Posted May 2, 2022
#2
Aaaaaand done! This was A LOT of fun to draw! They're talking bout their boyfriends obviously ;) ;) ;) while drinking some grape juice and apple cider! (alcohol is a no no ;3) once I get my damn Kofi thing fixed I'd love to do a commission for you if you'd like! That and any one of you Anonies since was so fun to draw another Y/N sona 💜💜💜! Welp until next time take care!
44 notes - Posted May 19, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Kk Just like last time for that one sad Anony part 3 (yeah that one Anony probably not sad anymore...maybe but it's easier to call it that trust me lol)
You can't escape the sins of your past edgy self YB. No one is safe
This one is so silly lol until next weeks comic ;D
60 notes - Posted May 8, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#dms is late ^^;;#oh well until next year#dms speaks#dms should make more comics he
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I can be your mirror - Daniel Ricciardo smut!
You feel insecure when you see his ex's instagram and Daniel decides to show you why you don't need to be
Warnings: smut! unprotected sex, low self esteem, etc
You were just chilling in the hotel bed, scrolling through your phone while Daniel finished taking a shower. It was Thursday night in Hungary, and media day was relatively calm (all eyes were still on Max and Lewis, after the whole Silverstone incident).
Your relationship was still new, you guys had just went public a couple months ago, and you liked that you were still discovering things about each other everyday, like how he prefers his eggs in the morning or that small scar under your chin he just noticed yesterday. Yet, some things weren't as fun to find out, like what his exes looked like.
A few fan accounts had started following you, including some F1 WAGs accounts, and you followed some of them back - you wanted to the updated, after all (or at least that's what you told yourself). The thing is, comparisons were inevitable to you - no matter how much you tried to be reasonable, low self esteem was always an issue to you. When a WAGs account posted about Daniel's ex hanging around in the paddock today and how cute her outfit was, you quickly found yourself clicking on the tag and stalking her ig. Perfect. Fucking perfect. You just have to set your own heartbreak up, don’t you? If at least you could let life do that, but no, you had to go and fall for the guy with the instagram models as his exes. You smiled ironically to yourself.
"Did you see Max shutting down that reporter on the press conference today?" Daniel said walking out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his torso and another drying his hair. You quickly locked your phone and looked up, startled like a kid caught with their hands on the cookie jar.
"Hum?" you asked him.
“What were you looking at?” he grinned you, throwing himself on the bed and sitting by your side.
“Nothing” you answered quickly, looking away.
“Don’t be like that. Tell me” he asked again, nudging you with his head.
“It’s nothing Dan, just silly old instagram”
“You wanna know one of the things I love most about you?” He asked before continuing. “You don’t really have filters. And even when you try to hide what you’re thinking, your face and body gives you away” He said. “That’s why you’re so perfect, you’re genuine” he touched your nose with his. “Let’s be honest with each other. Tell me what’s going on in there” Then he tried to lighten the mood saying "Can't be shirtless pictures of me that got you smirking, cause here I am in the flesh for you" you rolled your eyes but smiled at him.
“I’m laughing at myself” You said and he just looked at you, waiting for you to continue. “I’m setting myself up for heartbreak, more and more, and it’s just like me”
“What you’re talking about?”
“Please don’t say it’s stupid” you said before continuing. “You’re like, a rock star… fast cars, VIP, supermodels… these stuff are routine for you, you have the most interesting life. And you could have any girl. And your exes are like movie stars, fucking supermodels, and I'm not sure how much longer till you realize that and just, you know” you said gesturing to yourself and waving your fingers in front of your throat like who says 'abort mission'.
"I should know better, I really should and this might be nothing, but the deeper we get in this, the harder it's to wrap my own head around it and it’s so stupid, but how can anyone compete with that?” You weren’t making any sense, you knew and he was looking at you with his eyebrows raised and lips pressed, like he was holding a smile. “I’m rambling, forget I said anything it's so stupid” You said hiding your face behind your hand.
“I thought you said it wasn’t stupid” He said opening up a smirk and you opened your fingers to look at him. He pulled your hand down. “But you’re right, it is fucking stupid, because there’s no competing with you. I don’t care if I have to repeat that a thousand times for you to believe me, I mean…you had to have a flaw, huh?” You turned your head to the side. “This insecurity of yours, that you’re not good enough, it’s just the most crazy thing ever. Because I feel exactly the same. I’m the one that’s not good enough for you. You’re so smart, and good and you actually do good in the world. I’m just the lucky bastard that got picked to drive in circles around the world”
“You know that’s bullshit” You said.
“I’m serious. This whole stuff, fame, whatever… doesn’t mean anything. It’s just not real. I’m glad I realized that when I did” you were watching him intently. “Racing, challenging myself, working with the team, you... what we have, those are the stuff that are real to me, what really matters".
"Okay" you nodded agreeing.
"If you must to know, the reason why I didn’t work out with anybody else, it’s because we were never more than fuck buddies. Those girls are great fun, but they're more worried about showing than being, you know? And I’m not really interested in talking about them because it doesn’t mean anything, but I’ll tell you anything you ask me” You were dying to ask him more, to know every little details and to learn from their mistakes, but you knew you’d become obsessed with comparing yourself to them and didn’t he just tell you he wasn’t interest in anything about it?
“Sorry” you said quietly.
“What for?”
“Being a nag. Killing the mood” he smiled.
“Don’t-” “you-” “dare-” He kissed your face in between every word. “apologizing-” “for-” “your-” “feelings” he pulled away and looked at you. “Specially not to me. I meant it, let’s be honest, huh?” you nodded smiling back at him. “And if I’m ever a dick, please tell me before screw things up. This is not nothing, okay?”
“Okay”
“And I’m flattered you think I could have any girl” he said grinning. “I mean, I AM pretty hot, but-”
“Shut up. You know I’m right”
“Maybe any girl who cares about that stuff, and my amazing six pack” he says laughing and kissing you.
“And hard butts” you replied laughing and reaching to squeeze his, playfully.
“And hard butts” he agreed, rolling so he was on top of you.
“Those girls are usually the hottest”
“Do you honestly don’t have a mirror at home?” he said pulling away slightly from you. “It’s okay baby” he said in your ear, lifting your shirt over your head, then nibbling at your earlobe, making you moan. “I can be your mirror” he said in a low voice, taking your hands over your head and pinning them with his own.
Then he used his knees to push your legs apart. You were following his face, trying to kiss his mouth but he was holding you down, his lips barely touching your skin now, him hovering over your neck, your collarbone, your exposed breasts. You were squirming now, trying to get some release. He just wouldn’t let you have any yet.
“You have the most amazing skin” he begin saying. “So soft” he looked up to you, you had your eyes closed now. “The most amazing boobs. Fucking perfect tits, so round… and these perking nipples, so hard when you’re turned on” his lips touched your breasts lightly, barely.
“Your hair always smells so good, it’s the perfect frame for your perfect face” He went up again and kissed your lips, biting them lightly and dragging them out. “I love your lips, I love how plumped they are. I’m kind of jealous actually” he chuckled and you opened your eyes rolling them. “And those eyes. Fuck, I know it’s the first thing anyone notices about you, isn’t it? Are you sick of it by now? So big and green. I love seeing them rolling back when you come” he brought one hand down, pulling your pijama pants down and holding both of your hands up with only one of his. “I’m getting there in a minute” he said grabbing your pussy. “I just want to tell you about your ass first” he said sliding his hand through your hips until he reached your ass, grabbing it then releasing to give it a slap. You let out a yelp. “You in the mood for a little rough love?” he slapped you again and you smiled through your moan, this is so hot. And the best part of it was that no one else knew this side of his, just you. It's petty yeah, but you decided to indulge yourself in that thought.
“I love your ass, I swear I was trying to be respectful today, but you were such a tease, on those little shorts, made me hard as soon as you walked in the paddock” he went down to suck your left boob in his mouth and you were so sensitive you couldn’t help but moan, loudly. “Yeah baby, let me hear you. Let everyone hear you” He said releasing your boob and nibbling at it. “I saw how the guys were staring at your ass today. Fuckers, couldn’t help themselves. Let them stare…as long as they know who you belong to” he said leaning down to suck on your other boob. “Tell me who you belong to” his voice was so low.
“Uh…you” You were a moaning mess.
“Huh?”
“You, Daniel! I’m yours”
“That’s right”
“Please” you begged.
“What is it? What you what baby?” he whispered against your skin.
“Touch me, please”
“But I am touching you baby” he said and you heard the smirk in his voice. “Oh, I see what you mean… you want me to touch your pussy?”
“Yeah” you nodded. At the same time this was torture, it felt so, so good.
“This fucking perfect cunt of yours” he said sliding two fingers through your lips and opening them to spread you to him, you were soaking wet and pulsating, clenching around nothing. “Fuck, look at this” He said almost to himself, licking his lips. Then he slid his fingers in, curling them up, making a ‘come here’ motion. He dipped his head down, kissing the inside of your leg, then right over your clit, taking it in between his lips and sucking. You moaned loudly. “Oh sorry baby… you wanted it rough, huh?” he sucked your clit harder, then bit on it lightly. You could scream at how much pleasure he was giving you.
“Fuck! Oh my god Dan” He started to tease you with another finger meanwhile.
“Think you can take another one?” his words sending vibrations against you and making you forget how to form words. “I know you can, you take me so well. Such a good girl for me” he inserted another finger and started to pump them in and out of you faster. “So fucking tight. Can’t wait to feel you around me. That’s my favorite place you know? Buried deep inside your cunt” that was it, you came, hard. Arching your back and hips, Daniel releasing your hands to push you down and hold you there while you came and he kept sucking and licking and biting your clit. You couldn’t take anymore, you pushed him away, pulling his hair.
“Can’t-” You tried to say. “Dan”
“Yes, you can. Come here” He said pulling away and lifting you, dragging you out of the bed and into the bathroom, the rest of your clothes and his towel getting lost in the way. He pushed you against the sink, pulling your face up, making you look at yourself on the mirror. He was pressing against you from behind, his cock leaking in between your legs. “I want you to see what I see” he said staring at you through the mirror. “Gonna fuck you so good, you don’t ever forget how fucking perfect you are” and with that he slammed inside you. “Fucking-” he had one hand on your hair and the other around you, between your folders, massaging your clit. “Fucking heaven, taking me so good”
“Ah Dan” You screamed. He started to fuck you hard and fast, pushing you against the sink. You lifted your head and looked at the mirror, it was the most erotic thing you’ve ever seen. Daniel was dripping sweat, thrusting with perfect precision. His eyes were locked on yours and you knew he was as close as you. The thought of how deep the connection between you were at that moment made you clench again and he lost it, giving you one final thrust and a guttural groan. You came again, shaking more than ever, the feeling too much this time. “I can’t-” You tried to say again. “Too much-” Squeezing him over and over, so he pulled out, still spilling, making a mess over your legs and on the bathroom floor. He was still holding you though.
“I’m right here baby. Right here” He whispered on you ear from behind. You both were riding out your orgasms, rocking slightly, your body leaned on the sink, pressing your boobs against it, and he leaning over you, breathing hard.
After you both calmed down, you tried to move but his weight was too much. You let out a weak laugh and he moved. “Sorry” he said kissing your back. When you got up, you turned to him and kissed him lightly.
“You are-” You said against his lips “amazing”. And kissed him again, lovinly. “Thank you. You make me feel so good, Daniel. Let me take care of you now”
Daniel's POV
This woman is trying to kill me. “Baby I don’t think I have it in me-” “Not like that” she smiled. “I meant with a bath” she said gesturing to the bathtub.
“Yes, please” I said already opening the tap and letting the water run. She went back to the room and returned with a water bottle, taking a sip before passing it to me. I took it from her hand and almost finished it, before giving it back to her.
“Do they have any bubbles? Bath salts?” she asked.
“Hum…I don’t think so, baby” I answered looking around on the sink.
“That’s fine” she smiled, getting in the tub and motioning for me to sit in between her legs. Her hair was up in a knot, but some of it was clinging to her neck due to the sweat. She was so beautiful, I can’t believe she wants me.
“You don’t want me to stay behind you?” she shook her head smiling and I did as she asked, leaning on her. The tap was still running, filling the tub with hot water, while we two of us just soaked in there, relaxing. “This is nice,” I said while she ran her hands through my hair. When the tub was full enough, she turned off the water and applied some body wash on my skin, running her hand over my back and shoulders, it felt so good, so comfortable, like I didn’t have a worry in the world. Then I washed her legs around me, kissing her feet and calves and making her giggle. She kept massaging my shoulders. We stayed there for good while, half an hour? More or less? There’s nothing else in the world other than this bathroom anyway, so who cares?
“Can we stay here forever?” She asked me after a while, kissing behind my neck. I just hummed in response. “Actually, scratch that. I’m getting hungry. And thirsty”
“The limitations of the human body” I said jokingly but got out of the tub after a few minutes. If m’lady wants to eat, I’m getting her food. I dried myself, wrapping a towel around me and holding hers open for her to step out of the tub.
We went back to the room, she picked her clothes from the floor and put them away in her travel bag back inside the closet. I watched as she got a fresh pair of underwear and a clean bra, while I put on boxers and sweatpants. She wore some leggings that hugged her ass perfectly, what a view. I noticed her going through her bag, probably looking for a shirt but I just wanted her to wear some clothing of mine, so I took the hoodie I was going to wear and passed it to her. She smiled and accepted it, it looked oversized on her and covered her ass, but maybe that’s a good thing, I don’t need anyone thirsting over what’s mine, I don’t care how much of a prick that makes me sound.
"Do you wanna order or go out to eat?" I asked her.
"Let's just go downstairs, to the restaurant?"
"Yeah, that's fine" I say and peck her lips.
I put on a sweatshirt, and hold the door open for her. We walk out and the temperature was a bit colder out here in the hallway (or maybe it was just too hot inside the room), so I just take her hand and intertwine our fingers, passing my arms around her and holding her closer. I just love that I can do that whenever I want.
And I plan on doing that for the rest of my life.
#Daniel Ricciardo#daniel ricciardo smut#daniel ricciardo x reader#daniel ricciardo imagine#daniel ricciardo fanfic#formula one#formula one fanfiction
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Ah!~ I fall in love with your Takao headcanons! Can I ask headcanons about Takao from best friends to lovers?
A/N: But OF COURSE, you can, the more Takao you guys want, the better for me! ٩( ᐛ )و
So this will be a continuation from his best friends headcanons I made a while back and for those who’d like to see a spicier version of the more or less same troupe, I linked a similar request I got below! Hope you’ll enjoy this! ❤️
Tags: Takao x reader ✅ fluff ✅ friends to lovers ✅ slight angst ✅
☞ 𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝟙 ☞ 𝕤𝕡𝕚𝕔𝕪 𝕧𝕖𝕣.
━━━━☆ ━━━━☆ ━━━━☆
living with your best friend didn’t change your relationship as much as you thought it would
the two of you were still clinging to each other like leeches, supporting the other during hard times and in general providing a shoulder to cry and lean on when needed
now that you were roommates and not only neighbors you saw Takao every single day and that came with many advantages
you both shared the housework and came up with cooking/cleaning/laundry schedules that made your joint life so much easier
Takao had decided to start working after graduation while you continued your studies (and occasionally worked at a part-time job close to your apartment)
it heavily depended on your individual schedule, but in general, the two of you had agreed that the first one home should be the one to prepare dinner and help the other one out a little
usually, Takao would be the first one home and every time you came back he greeted you like some kind of butler, helping you out of your jacket, taking your bag, leading you to the kitchen where he showed you that evening’s dinner, and lastly he’d conclude his small tour at the bathroom where he had run a bath for you
both of you were so close that all of your neighbors (especially the older ones) continuously teased you, saying what kind of cute couple the two of you were and some even went as far as to ask when you’re wedding was going to be
in the beginning, your and Takao’s cheeks would flush ever so slightly but the longer you lived there the more used to it you got, and in the end, it even reached a stage where you’d counter their remarks with your own witty and comical ones
comments such as theirs didn’t bother you that much, or at least that’s what you thought ...
a couple of months after moving in you invited some members of Shuutoku’s basketball team over for a friendly get-together and a warm dinner
it had been a lot of fun
people were teased, embarrassing situations were denounced as hilarious, compliments fell left and right, and what not
at some point though Miyaji - the club’s former captain - raised the question of whether Takao and you had finally started a romantic relationship
it was just a well-meant question and perhaps a subtle hint and yet your best friend began to deny that so strongly that you couldn’t help but feel aggrieved from his over-exaggerated reaction
the evening was kinda ruined for you and some of them noticed it and felt bad for you
in the end, Miyaji actually came up to you and apologized, saying just how much he’d regretted asking you something that was seemingly a taboo-topic
since then the relationship between your best friend and yourself was quite shaky, you began avoiding too much body contact with him, tuned down your clinginess, and even started avoiding him at times
some people think that Takao isn’t the brightest and assume that he’s quite dense, but you knew better
it didn’t take him even a week to notice that something was wrong with you and before you knew it he waited for you to come back home and asked you to take a seat across from him on the couch
“(Y/N)-chan...I’m aware that something’s been bothering you for the past few days and I know that some topics are better left unsaid, but I really hate seeing you suffer because of maybe something I did.”
his words stabbed your heart like hundred knives and even if you’d planned to keep your hurt pride to yourself, you knew that communication was key in any kind of relationship so with a bitter smile you told him about everything, how his reaction had hurt you more than his captain’s harmless question and how these new and yet unknown thoughts had begun to cloud your mind with masses of doubts
there was a brief break during which Takao’s expression grew unbelievably sad, he had expected anything but this
and then finally after what felt like hours he whispered out your name, got up from his chair, and slowly walked towards you, kneeling in front of your seated figure
“I’m truly sorry...I-I wasn’t aware of how much this actually bothered you,” he paused as he took your hands into his own and continued, “all I wanted was to make Miyagi drop that theme fast since he’s the type to talk about one topic for hours and I really didn’t want to make you uncomfortable since that evening was meant for recollecting and updating each other about our daily lives and not a relationship counseling...”
with a sigh you shook your head and couldn’t help but laugh at just how ridiculous this situation was, Takao joined you not long after
after that small misunderstanding, you two needed a bit until your relationship had normalized, but you’d be lying if you said that everything was back to how it used to be
once the imagination of Takao as your boyfriend had entered your mind you began to realize just how close the two of you truly were
him tending to your needs every time you came back home late, resembled that of a worried father-to-be whose wife was to go into labor soon
the way he always jokingly offered himself as your dinner was a cliché joke and sometimes an invitation one would often see in romance series that once again fell between lovers
and the worst for your heart was how the word ‘personal space’ wasn’t even present in his vocabulary, he’d hug you whenever he could, lean himself on your back and leave his chin in the crack of your neck at every given opportunity, and let’s not mention whenever he had trouble falling asleep (which was basically almost every day)
all those small and seemingly irrelevant gestures which didn’t usually affect you were now the trigger for a deep-red blush along your cheeks and an increased heart rate
and it didn’t help that Takao would constantly tease you whenever he noticed your flushed face
.
as time went by though you noticed that something between you two had indeed changed
now his mere presence was enough to make your heart thump wildly against your chest
the only comfort you found was that he himself had started blushing more often as well
you thought that nothing of deeper meaning was behind it and just blamed it on your behavior, but what you didn’t know was that Takao was experiencing the same thing as you
for him, it was as if every single touch - no matter how featherlight it was - set his skin on fire
every ever so small and gentle smile or grin you directed his way, immediately brightened up his mood
and let’s not even talk about the small things you do for him, like cooking, preparing some late-night snacks for whenever he has to work on a project until very late in the evening, folding his laundry, ironing his shirts, and so on...
both of you were slowly starting to acknowledge the other as an essential part of your respective lives
on top of that, innocent and sweet thoughts such as kissing each other on the lips, taking a bath together, or just doing silly things such as hiding from the people outside so that you can feel each other’s lips began dominating your minds
and what choice did the two of you have but to bottle these feelings up and hide them from each other just because you didn’t want to ruin your friendship
it was painful of course, but you continued to put yourself through with it, determined to keep this a secret for as long as necessary
unfortunately, Takao wasn’t made out of the same cloth and was slowly but surely feeling how everything was about to explode pretty soon
and then finally one day when the two of you went out shopping together some of your elderly neighbors stopped you yet again and began interrogating you guys as usual
“Have you two dears finally admitted your feelings for each other?”
there it was, their favorite question, that was strangely accurate this time
you were ready to debunk it yet again, but Takao suddenly took a hold of your hand, squeezed it slightly, and announced: “Not yet, but I’m about to!”
three pairs of wide eyes were fixated on the slightly blushing young man who stood beside you and while you were still trying to decipher whether you’d heard him right he faced you and even took a gentle hold of your second hand
“(Y/N)...I feel like this should’ve happened sooner, but my fear of losing you as my constant pillar of support was too big. Your presence was always something extremely helpful and soothing, but as of late I started to truly notice just how much more it was for me and my life. The sheer imagination of me being without you hurt me more than any game my team lost, any missed promotion chance or anything negative for that matter,” he paused and took a deep breath before continuing, “what I’m trying to say is that...(Y/N), I’d like you to become my lover.”
silent gasps could be heard, but you were too overwhelmed to pay any attention to it
the fact that he’d felt the same way and was stuck in the same situation as you were truly unbelievable, but now that you knew it all those small things you’d denounced as an effect of your own unusual behavior made sense
you looked up into the slate blue eyes of the man you’d fallen for and slowly removed your hands from his tight grip, only to then wrap your arms around his neck and bring him closer to you
Takao immediately seized the opportunity to do the same, he was anxious about what you were about to say so he at least wanted to savor what might be his very last embrace from you
“Took us long enough now didn’t it?” was all you said before you confidently took a hold of his cheeks and brought his face closer to your lips until they touched
while you two kissed ever so passionately and drowned in the liberating feeling of mutual love, the two older women next to you smiled while commenting on how they’d always known and how bad you two were hiding it
after you’d finally separated from each other you gave him your obvious answer to which he simply giggled and out of happiness began cuddling and kissing your face all over
this was truly a wonderful moment, it might not affect your relationship all too much but it was nonetheless a step towards a new and yet unknown experience that the two of you would live through while constantly supporting each other ...
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Love's Endless Light
A Good Omens serial romance
READ FROM THE BEGINNING: You are here! NEXT
Chapter 1: Calm Every Fear
2007 BC, Crete
The first time a human tried to warn Aziraphale about Crawly, Aziraphale wasn’t quite sure how to respond. Aziraphale’s favorite perk about being stationed on Earth was that he got to meet so many humans. Aziraphale made friends easily, perhaps because humans were drawn to the angelic aura he gave off. That might explain why humans sometimes didn’t care for Crawly— or maybe, Aziraphale mused, watching Crawly’s human legs morph into a six-foot-long snake tail on the beach in broad daylight, it was because he tended to do that.
One of Aziraphale’s human friends grasped his arm and started tugging him away. “It’s a monster!” he cried. “Run!”
“Yes, you should run,” Aziraphale advised him. “I’m going to— to check the beach for anyone else.”
The man looked at him with fear in his eyes. “No, come with us! It’s too dangerous!”
Aziraphale wasn’t quite sure how to explain to a human that a Naga demon was still just a demon, and therefore quite inferior to an angel of the Lord. “I’ll be right behind you,” he promised, and when Crawly made a loud snarling noise, the human dropped Aziraphale’s arm and fled.
There was a splashing sound, and Aziraphale turned to find Crawly amid the breakers, salt water waves crashing over his hips and tail, turning the ends of his long scarlet hair dark against his pale skin. Crawly was— Aziraphale could never deny this— quite surprisingly attractive for a demon, with a lithe form that moved in a fascinating serpentine manner whether he wore legs or not.
Well, usually. Right now Crawly was romping about wildly in the waves with a silly grin on his face. It faded the instant he noticed Aziraphale standing on the beach. “Oh,” he said, with a tremor of anxiety in his voice. “It’s you.”
“It is,” Aziraphale confirmed. “So if you were planning to eat any humans, I’m afraid—”
Crawly made a shocked noise. “Eat— are you serious? When’s the last time I ate a human?”
“Well, I’m sure I don’t know.”
“Never!”
“Then what are you doing? Why have you—” Aziraphale waved a hand in Crawly’s general direction.
Crawly looked down at himself, as if he had forgotten that at the moment he was a very large monster. “Wanted to go for a swim,” he said. “Didn’t feel like sharing the beach.”
“You terrorized a hundred humans just so that you could swim.”
“Wasn’t a hundred,” Crawly said. His eyes kept darting from Aziraphale’s face to his hands, and Aziraphale realized that Crawly was expecting Aziraphale to be holding something— a flaming sword, most likely. “I’ll go,” Crawly said, starting to leave the water.
Aziraphale looked down at his hands, and then slowly folded them together, lacing finger against finger, leaving no room for a weapon.
Crawly watched this with a sort of hopeful bewilderment. He rested half in and half out of the waves now, against both the cold of the ocean and the heat of the sand. It was nearly noon. The sun was high, set where God Herself had placed it, and it shouldn't have been the case, Aziraphale thought, that it could shine so flatteringly on a demon, making his skin and scales glow. Just as there was no way that Crawly’s golden eyes should have always reminded Aziraphale more of that loving sun than the punishing fires of Hell.
Aziraphale approached Crawly cautiously, letting his sandals start to make tracks in the wetter sand. “Have you— how have you been? You know, I don’t think I’ve seen you for—”
“Thirty-two years,” Crawly said, and then he looked away, as if he were ashamed to know the exact number.
Aziraphale knew the number, too. As much as he adored his human friends, there was something rather comforting about being able to speak with someone who’d known you far, far longer than any human ever could.
“Been good,” Crawly said. “Well— been bad, I guess. Doing evil deeds, you know.”
“I’m sure,” Aziraphale said.
“Not eating people, though.”
“Yes. I’m sor—” Aziraphale cut himself off sharply, shocked at himself for attempting to apologize to a demon.
Crawly was staring at him, looking half-surprised and half insulted. “I’ve terrorized plenty of people,” he said.
“Of course.”
Crawly waved his hand at Aziraphale. “Suppose you’ve been doing the opposite, whatever that is. Comforting?”
“Um— yes, comforting.” Aziraphale watched as the edge of a wave reached the toe of his sandal, splashing drops of cold water onto his heated skin.
“Come for a swim,” Crawly said.
Aziraphale looked at him in shock. “What? No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I am not taking a swim with a demon.”
Crawly was grinning again, and it always made Aziraphale a little unsettled to see him do that, to see him look happy. Demons shouldn’t be happy, they should always be miserable. And yet sometimes it seemed like Crawly could forget all of that, forget that his soul was damned, that there was an empty cavern in his chest where God’s love should be. Crawly could somehow focus on the moment, taking pleasure in earthly things.
Crawly’s voice fell low and mesmerizing. “It’s fun,” he said. “Innocent fun, swimming in the ocean. You’ll enjoy it.”
Aziraphale sighed. “I can tell when you’re trying to tempt me, you know. And I have told you that it doesn’t work on angels.”
Crawly looked unexpectedly delighted. “You can’t swim,” he accused. “Never learned?”
“I float,” Aziraphale said, disappointed that he sounded rather morose. “Angels, you know— we can walk on water. We— we have to walk on water. Can’t sink even if we want to.”
Crawly burst into laughter and collapsed back into the ocean, letting the waves rush around him. He put up a clawed hand to slick his hair back out of his face, and Aziraphale could not look away from him. “Angels being denied one of life’s greatest pleasures,” he exclaimed. “How poetic.”
“The light of Grace,” Aziraphale informed him, “far outweighs a dip in the sea.”
“Take your word for it,” Crawly said. “I was never much for that.”
“You—” Aziraphale felt cold inside. “You don’t miss God’s love?”
Crawly shrugged, looking away. “What would a demon want with love?”
“But it— it’s your punishment, to want what you can’t have—”
“Seems to me you’re the one who wants what he can’t have,” Crawly countered. “Can’t even go for a swim.”
Aziraphale gave him an exasperated look. “Crawly, honestly. Look, I should get back to the city. Comfort the people you frightened.” If Aziraphale expected Crawly to look remorseful for having emptied the beach, he was disappointed. Crawly looked at peace with his serpentine tail floating in the waves. “I want you gone by nightfall,” Aziraphale warned him.
“Yeah, yeah.” Crawly gave him a smile that was part sadness, almost as if he was going to miss Aziraphale, when he didn’t even miss God.
********
READ FROM THE BEGINNING: You are here!
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Why a serial fic? Because I wanted to make a Tumblr comic like all the cool kids do, but I can't draw, so here it is in prose. Updates Fridays on Ao3 and Tumblr.
Want to create fic, art, or other works based on this series? Please do! Just dm or tag me.
My previous Good Omens serial: Mr. Fell’s Bookshop
*********
Image text: Love’s Endless Light by Dannye Chase (HolyCatsAndRabbits) Chapter 1
As Aziraphale and Crowley slowly fall in love over the millennia, Crowley discovers that Aziraphale is keeping a very dangerous secret.
My Carrd
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perfidy;tom holland|17
chapter 17: the actors
enemies to lovers au/enemies with benefits
chapter summary: tom and y/n want to rule the world alone
pairing: tom holland x y/n
warnings: angsty, fluff, Tom gets drunk, didn’t proof read
word count: 8.6k whoooops
here’s a playlist
and here’s another one
and here’s another one inspired by 1D
social media before you read (IMPORTANT FOR THE CHAPTER) :
tweets, texts and instagram: with Tom and y/n on their date and giving no updates to their friends
previous chapter next chapter series masterlist wanna be tagged?
Hi, it came early again! This is angsty because well it was coming but because Taylor released Folklore, go stream it!!! and i’m sad because of 1D so :)
A rain was falling down in a clear sky.
Timothée. A perfect name. Perfect eyes, perfect nose, perfect lips. Perfect guy. Everybody said it. Everybody saw it. A melodic laugh that would be heard all across the room, bright eyes that were only meant to look at y/n. The curls falling down on his forehead and the bright beam everytime she looked at him. The gentle whispers, secret kisses. The way they finished each other’s sentences and the way they sometimes had coordinated outfits without them even trying. The way he was in her kind of scene, and the way he always managed to picture her in her brightest glory, the way he pictured her being her. Because she was herself whenever she was around him. Never faking, always laughing. The way she’d be calm, and not doubting, not fearing. The way he fit her description of her perfect guy. As if they’d made him out of her dreams, sculpting it. A Greek sculpture, but hey, they guy only spoke in Greek tragedies.
Tom was very well aware that the damned guy was everything y/n could’ve asked for. From the first moment he’d met him, Tom knew that y/n would completely fall in love with him. Y/N would end up with him. And he’d seen her fall in love with him, as Tim would watch her as she danced around the room, spinning that strawberry--or were they cherries?-- dress she loved to wear. He’d seen her sing around him, because she trusted him. Tom saw Y/N find her happy place. Fucking Timothée.
And he hated it was with Tim. Because he knew that Tim had been the one to be there when he broke her heart. When it should’ve been Harry. Even all of this crafted shit, Tom had fucked it up, because Harry had also distanced himself from y/n.
And all because he had fucked up. If that night he had had the guts to accept it.
He wondered whether Harry would’ve been heartbroken or not. Correction, he wondered how heartbroken his brother would have been. And he remembered how for the first time, after that, Harry had ignored him. So angry at him.
But nobody knew what Tom had gone through. How many times had he stopped himself from going to her and try to say he hadn’t meant it, to try and kiss her, mend her heart. When his own heart broken. And he had been lonely too, and he also hadn’t gone out. He didn’t have the energy, he only stared at the ceiling, asked questions that had no answers.
And they hadn’t spoken after that, not even after y/n was slowly coming back into his life. He had gone filming, and sometimes he’d shed a tear but no one would know it.
And then one day, y/n was talking to Harry again, and he heard her voice over the phone, and his heart had stopped. And he wanted to say he was sorry, and he wondered if she knew that he was also destroyed.
And then, a party, James’ birthday, maybe. He couldn’t remember. And he had seen her, and she had avoided his gaze and he only wanted to scream everything he’d ever felt. But he had kept it to himself.
And then, he saw him, Tim. A new friend of y/n’s Harry said. And Tom saw the way Tim looked at her, and the way he had made her smile. A smile Tom hadn’t seen in months. All because he had fucked up, Tim had taken away his chance.
Did y/n see Tom? Did y/n see that Tom was also anxious and breaking? Did y/n ever listen to what he wanted to say?
Y/N had approached James, and then was speaking with whoever had crossed her path. And Tom knew it was wrong, and he wondered if she had thought about calling him, too. If they had stared at the phone at the same time. If she ever wanted him to go to her door.
Timothee had approached Harry and him. Tom stared at him, up and down.
“So, I don’t know you,” Tom chuckled. “Hi, I’m Tom.”
“Oh, I finally meet you, Tom, I’m Timothée.”
And it sounded like one of the silly names y/n would come up for in her stories. A bloody main character.
“Are you… y/n’s….?” Tom asked.
Harry chuckled. “They’re just friends.”
Timmy had smiled. “Yeah, for now.”
Tom had hidden his frown and faked a laugh. “Oh, so you do want to date her?”
Harry had pursed his lips and then watched Tim.
Timothée had cleared his throat. “Yeah, she’s... “ And he had looked back at her, y/n had given Tim a faintly embarrassed smile, she had blushed. “she’s just like a song, or a movie, she’s splendid. She is a main character, isn't she?”
“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean,” Tom had said.
“Look at her, she just stands out in a crowd, and I swear I can hear her voice across the room and it’s music to my ears,” Tim explained. “There’s so much mystery to her, I—.”
Tom had to agree, and she was wearing that golden dress that made her perfectly different from everyone in the room. Bright as she could be, red lips and hair flowing.Y/N then looked back at them, and then she finally crossed eyes with Tom, her smile had faded away, and she had quickly looked away.
“You’ll finally ask her out, then?” Harry chuckled. “It’s been taking you long enough.”
Tim grinned. “Yeah, I just want her to be ready,” he explained. “She… Did she recently go through a breakup or-?”
Tom had felt a stab across his chest, no, not a breakup, a heartbreak possibly.
“No,” Harry shook his head. “But y/n is very complicated.”
“Very,” Tom added. “Too complicated, you don’t want to get there. She’s too crazy.”
Tim chuckled. “And she mentioned you were her biggest enemy.”
Harry laughed. “Yeah, he is so don’t listen to him.”
Of course, from what he had initially seen, he thought Timmy didn’t have a chance. Sure the guy was perfect but y/n probably wouldn’t give him a chance.
And it had started.
“Y/N’s new boyfriend is perfect isn’t he?” His mother had once said. “He’s such a sweetheart.”
And he had heard it once, and twice and everyone was saying it, at an early Christmas dinner y/n’s family had thrown.
“He’s the guy she’ll end up marrying,” y/n’s mother, Elaine, had said. “It’s just amazing how good they are for each other.”
“Yeah, I must admit it, that Tim really has won her over, and not only her, all of us,” James had said.
“She’ll be spending Christmas with his family, in France we will see how it goes, he’s a good guy,” Richard, y/n’s dad had mentioned. “She’ll probably come back with a ring in her hand. I’ve never seen her happier.”
“This Timmy guy, really, I’m glad she found him. She finally needed to date someone who treated her like the queen she is,” Sam had mentioned.
And Tom knew it had been lost when even Harry had said it.
“They’re perfect for each other. I am so happy she’s happy.”
And if Harry was happy, when he had been in love with her. Then Tom should be, too, right?
Then why wasn’t he?
But all of them had been wrong, right? All of them had been completely and utterly wrong because y/n had not accepted the marriage proposal. Y/N couldn’t have been as happy as everyone had claimed she had been. Tim had been right where Tom should’ve been.
Problem was, Tom knew she had been. And even if she had said that she had loved Tom, there was a part of Tom that knew that y/n had been lying about that statement. Because y/n had actually fallen in love so deeply with Timothee, and because Tom was well aware that he was only just for a little bit, to cease her thoughts. Tom knew y/n would end up realizing that Tom wasn’t what she wanted him to be. Because Tom was not Timmy.
And Tom had that very present. That’s probably why he had searched for a thousand things to do with her, the film museum, then the picnic at the park, then maybe a philharmonic. Everywhere that Tim would’ve taken her. Because Tom feared that y/n would realize how different they were.
And Tom feared that she had her heartbreaks very present. And that Timmy had been the one to pull her out of them.
When he had found the ring, it made it even more present, y/n had kept it. Sure she had said no, but her no had meant “not yet”. The ring had meant that she, yes, wanted to know what it felt like to date Tom, but she’d eventually run back to Tim, because he was her endgame.
But she had gone to give it back. And maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. If she hadn’t given it back on her own, she probably was still holding on to him.
The fantasy had tumbled down in less than 5 minutes. And it seemed so crazy, less than 24 hours. They’d gone from her having dinner with Tim, with him admitting his feelings, with her saying she was in love too, to the perfect date and now. Back to reality. Knowing that their promises and apologies had barely meant anything at all. It would eventually fall out.
Because Tom also feared that all of this was some sort of revenge y/n was planning and that she’d go back to Tim and be happy.
Because they were both right, and they knew that they didn’t trust each other. And he was selfish. He didn’t want y/n to ever be around Timothée. But he knew that he could never control y/n, not that he wanted to. But he had the right.
He remembered it, when they dated. How he’d be in the worst state each time Timmy placed his hand on her hips, or his lips on her skin. He hated it. He despised it. How he wished to be in his place.
And even know that he knew that y/n probably was breaking Tim’s heart he couldn’t help but think about it, how with one kiss Tim could probably make her leave Tom. That’s all it took him, his fingers to delicately brush against her arm. That’s the power Tim had over y/n.
And now he was calling her, he wanted her to be back already. Even if Tom was in shambles.
He took out the alcohol bottles from the minibar, downing a shot of whiskey, he felt the warm liquor burn his throat. What if Tim caressed her cheek? What if with one look y/n realized the big mistake Tom was?
He called her.
Straight to voicemail. Tom tapped his foot anxiously. He needed another shot. He couldn’t wait for her right there.
So he went down to the hotel bar. And he didn’t know if he was worried more about the fact she was with Timmy or that she was alone in a city like New York. He kept calling her, it rang a few times but then to voicemail.
Tom ordered a gin and tonic, first, then a beer, and then a scotch and he ignored everybody in the room. He only kept trying to call her, and he texted only asking if she was okay.
And she answered a simple yes.
Which drove Tom crazier. He downed another drink. His body warming up, not sure if it was with rage, jealousy, or the alcohol. He clenched his jaw, she drove him completely insane. It would leave nowhere.
He ignored his phone, everything, he only listened to the band that played gentle slow rock that was playing at the bar. And he kept waiting. Picturing the worst.
But suddenly he had seen her walking into the bar, too, after a while, after yet more beers and another scotch. And he stopped to see if it was truly her. Undeniably, it was her. Slightly smudged mascara under her eyes, and a trace of her crying, but her lipswere bright red. She hadn’t seen him, she had sat near the band, ordered a gin and tonic, first, too. He only saw how her lipstick stained the glass. She seemed… angry, sad, confused. Tom could read those emotions just fine, the usual face she’d sketch whenever he was around.
At least she wasn’t with Tim, thought Tom. He texted her again, she only lifted her phone and then took a deep breath. She didn’t text back. But he saw tears streaming down her face.
It was particularly weird. Being in the same room. He waited for the song to finish until he decided to send her a drink. Another gin and tonic.
He watched her, and she seemed surprised when the waiter had told her a gentleman had sent her a drink, she denied the drink until the waiter pointed at Tom. And she suddenly stopped, her eyes landed on him, as if she was deciding whether or not to walk over. But Tom was already wasted, so he made the decision himself. He paid for his and her drinks and then stumbled up to stand, he didn’t want to be in the same room as her right now. He was too dizzy, the floor was moving just as he walked out of the hotel bar and made his way to the elevator.
But before the door closed, y/n ran into the elevator. Tom gave her a drunken smile, watching her yet again get far from him.
“Heeeeey,” a drunk and slurred voice came out.
Y/N turned coldly. “Are you drunk?”
“No,” he lied but then opened his arms, laying against the elevator wall. “Mmhm c’mere.”
She didn’t look at him now.
“Y/N,” he called her, loudly. “Are you—are we breaking up even if—hic—even if we only dated for like 10 minutes? Are you going back to Timmy Tim?” His words sounded slow and long.
“Tom, stop, no, okay, you’re too drunk and I’m not in the mood to talk about this, okay? We’re not breaking up,”she confirmed and walked over to his side. He could now see she really had been crying, her eyes were still trying to hold back more tears, and she kept avoiding his gaze. Her cheeks were probably humid.
He reached out for her hand lazily, and brought it to his lips. She looked away. He tried to kiss her cheek, but she turned around again.
“God, you stink of alcohol, Tom,” she rolled her eyes as he mumbled an apology.
He frowned, and tried to lean over, he ended up nuzzling into her neck. She sighed, but caressed his hair anyway.
“Do you hate me?” He asked her.
“Yes,” she answered.
He pouted. “Y/N,” he hiccuped again. “Mm… didn’t ya love me?” His words were even more slurred now.
“Yes.”
He tried to stand back up but he was so dizzy, that he decided to keep leaning against her.
“You’re being really annoying right now, I understand you got angry but right now I’m too emotional to deal with drunk you —” She pointed out as the doors opened, Tom didn’t move. “Thomas,” she sighed. “C’mon, let’s…Tom, I’m really not in the mood to do this.”
It seemed like the floor was spinning, but he helped him out, as he was striding to their room, y/n helping him as he had a shoulder around her, using her as support.
Before she opened the door, Tom took her hand again and brought it up to his gaze.
“what are you—what are you doing?” She asked.
“Checking if you’re not wearing the ring, babe” Tom mumbled.
Y/N sighed. “I gave it back.”
Tom looked at the blurry image standing in front of him and formed a smile. “Good.”
She opened the door, and Tom stumbled right behind her, he was still angry, but that soothed him. Y/N guided him to the bed, sitting him down.
“You’ve… you have,” he closed his eyes and burped. “You’ve been crying,” Tom pointed out as he watched her walking around the room.
She then was right beside him, Tom didn’t even notice how, but she handed him a bottle of water. “Drink.”
Tom watched her. “Have you been crying?”
She took a deep breath, “yes,” she answered. “Just drunk the water, Tom.”
“Why?” He questioned as she glared at him, “why are you crying?”
“Tom—drink the water.”
He took a sip, “You love him.”
“Tom—right now I really—I know this is too simple for you, I know that this seems simple for you, if anything you’ll just go on and live with your life okay? But—I need you not to make this hard for me,” she snapped as she walked away.
Tom watched her. “I know, you just officially let go of the love of your life I know, I know.”
She crossed her arms turning back to him. “You’re really being an ass.”
“I am just hurt y/n,” he admitted. “I am sooo in love with you and you just see me as...I don’t know”
She took a deep breath, “I didn’t mean to hurt you okay?” Her voice was shaking. “I was going to give it back I just—hadn’t found the right time but—I gave it to him, happy?”
Tom blinked, giving it a thought. “No.”
“I...really don’t want you to be hurt okay?” She walked over, taking his hands.. “You were not supposed to know.”
Tom gave her a cynic smile. “But I found it,” he shrugged.
“Yes, but—Tom,” she sighed. “really just we will talk when you’re sober and when I’m not on the verge of tears—“
He wasn’t really listening, he couldn’t focus. “Did he kiss you?”
She closed her eyes. “No.”
“Did he… try to kiss ya?”he pushed.
“No, Tom,” she let him go, and then more tears were coming down her cheeks. “I broke his heart, and do you know how fucking difficult it was?” She gulped. “That’s why I—I hadn’t done it yet because I didn’t want to spend my last days in New York with you crying over someone else—“
Tom laid down on the bed. “Y/N you still have feelings for him.”
“Tom oh my god, do you really want to go there?”
He chuckled. “Just did, besides it’s clear you still love him because you’re crying.”
“Tom, it’s not if I have feelings or not,” she pointed out. “I am sad because I just closed a very important part of my life for something—“
“For something not certain,” he finished her line.
“You don’t even understand this, you’re too drunk for me to explain this.” She was angry, so angry.
“Try then,” he sat up. He had a sad, cynic smile across his face, and he could barely keep his eyes open.
“I don’t even know if I want to,”she admitted, arms over her chest as she leaned against the wall. “we’ve already yelled and fought at each other twice in less than two days,” she sassed. “and I’m just here thinking hey, this won’t work!” She looked away. “because we don’t trust each other.”
He felt like somehow that had sobered him up. “Good to know you don’t trust me,” he laughed with sarcasm, as he rubbed his face.
“Well, do you? Do you trust me? If you did, we wouldn’t be helping this conversation.”
He didn’t answer.
She shrugged, chuckling. “There’s your answer, we are both so damaged, Tom. This won’t be easy and you just have to accept it,” she explained.
He looked away. “Why did you keep the ring?”
“Tom.”
He took a deep breath. “I just need to know y/n because I—I know how much you loved him and feelings simply don’t disappear—“
She only walked to the window. “Everybody said it, okay?” She sniffed. “And I’m someone who plans ahead and I’m someone who—Who ends up doing the right thing, and I kept—“he could see her breaking her heart. “I kept the ring because he told me to,”her voice was now completely broken. “, and because I thought everyone says it—and I—“
“That you were perfect,” Tom finished,
“And I’ve always been known for making all the wrong choices—“
“And Timmy is the right one isn’t he?” He cackled. “Great.”
“Bloody hell, Thomas you’re not making it easy,” she snapped.
He stood up. “Y/N literally what the hell do I have to do for you to fucking look at me?” He asked as he walked to her, placing his hands on her shoulders so she’d finally face him, and to not lose balance, as well. “All my life I’ve literally been doing the impossible and yet you always turn around—“
“Oh my god,” she closed her eyes as she pushed his arms away. “”I can’t believe you, I’m in love with you!” She yelled. “Don’t you fucking see it? I’m in love with you,” she cried as she walked away. “after crying for a fucking year for that night in the club, I can’t bloody look at yellow flowers without tearing up but guess what,” she chuckled angrily. “I still fucking choose you every time, Tom, you literally don’t have to do anything for me to always fucking choose you and that’s why I don’t get it!” She turned back to see him. “I don’t get why, and yet you still doubt it, and even if you we’re screwing me over and over I still chose you and even if there was either Tim or Harry or—“
“Harry?” Tom didn’t even let her finish as she finally paused. “Harry?”
“I—no, let’s not go there,” she shook her head and hugged herself.
Tom was sober now. “No, I want to fucking know now.”
“Tom no, you’re drunk let’s—“she closed her eyes, as she looked around, trying to escape.
“What about Harry?”
“Nothing.”
“Did you know—“
“Yes, Tom I knew—“She snapped.
The weather had turned cold, he thought he heard rain falling down but the night sky was clear.
“How did you know?” Tom asked, quietly.
She huffed, “Because unlike you, he’s shown me his whole life that he loves me.”
Tom felt it again, an anger or guilt he had suffered from throughout his life. “Then why the fuck do you love me if you—Harry was perfect!”
She blinked with confusion. “What?”
“You should end up with Harry.”
“See? Now you get it,” she sat on the bed. “Everyone says it, Harry or Tim how nice and perfect, and yet—I choose you, Tom I don’t even know why you’re angry at me,” she complained “they all said it, but you know what and they also always said I would end up dating you, people are strange huh? They say a lot of things.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
She gulped down a sob, but then calmed down. “I’ve heard it all Tom,” she explained. “I know. That’s what I’m trying to tell you, the heart wants what it wants.”
“But—everyone says it.”
“Yes I know, that Tim is my endgame and that Harry was the guy I should’ve fallen in love with, but guess what! They also said that we needed to sleep together to finally get along and look at us now, people are wrong, aren’t they?”
He closed his eyes, hurt, as he sat beside her. “No—I—“
“I need to sleep,” she stood up. They didn’t follow the routine that night, not together.
“I don’t want to go to bed like this,” he said as y/n picked up a pillow and a blanket and walked over to the sofa. “Y/N no—come here. If anything I’ll sleep there.”
She sat down, hugging the pillow, so he made his way over.
“Y/N, no come on, please—Let’s, I’m sorry okay?” He sighed sitting beside her. She stayed quiet, but scooted closer to him. “Y/N?”
“I don’t want it to rain in New York, Tom,” she whispered. “And I’m trying, okay? I just hope you’re trying, too.”
She then went quiet, but then snuggled close to him, with her eyes closed. Tom blinked, but wrapped his arms around her confused. He still had a lot of thoughts in his head. Very confusing, hurtful thoughts. Especially around what she said about Harry.
But then again, she was right, why the hell did she doubt her if she’d chosen him over and over?
But then guilt, the guilt of not wanting to break his brother’s heart. He decided it right there in that precise moment, that he wanted to tell him. Harry was with Emma. It was now or never.
And he understood what she meant, maybe she’d felt it too, the thunder striking outside, but… If he looked out the window, the night was clear, the stars were bright.
The next day they didn’t even talk about it, y/n had woken up earlier than him, Tom had woken up sore from sleeping on a couch, but he knew that she’d held him all night long, he had heard her cry in the middle of the night, he had seen her pace around the room but then, eventually she came back and snuggled him. But he woke up alone, and it felt weird, but she had gone out and brought him a juice that she swore would cure his hangover. Neither him or y/n addressed anything they had talked the night before.
He understood what she meant. This was Rome. New York was the new Rome, the part where they both could be happy, live the fairytale and then it would come to London, rainy London. Even if the sky in New York had turned gray.
And though Tom was facing a constant headache they both quietly decided that they’d enjoy the clear sky in New York. They went to that museum in Queens, they walked through Central Park and enjoyed a Picnic, they even bought a kite and flew it. And they didn’t fight. Not once, or not in the way they had fought the night before. As if both of them were actively avoiding it, pretending they were fine. Laughs. On the edge, as if the other would bring up one heartbreak eventually. They were fine. Even if they weren’t.
But maybe, just maybe, they were. Even if the fantasy they were living was crafted, a film he’d seen before, not with him. Maybe that’s why it felt different, because Tom was trying too much. And so was y/n, because that day they weren’t each other. Like they played a part of something they didn’t belong in. Because they were being seen, in a way.
But Tom looked at y/n, and even if her eyes looked tired, and even if her smile was slightly sad, her eyes brightened up when they looked at each other. That’s probably what had him crazy, because she was choosing him, even if just last night they were fighting. Why did y/n choose someone who broke her? Why couldn’t he stop breaking her?
He felt like he’d run out of chances, and he knew this was the last time. Not sure why it felt like that, but maybe that’s why they were trying so hard to make each other smile and forget the night before.
Were they forcing this too much? Had they loved each other so much and they had been so impatient that they had forced this? Like a film. Playing a part.
He knew what he had to do.
New York became a memory that they didn’t want to let go. The last days of filming had gone very quickly, especially because Tim wasn’t around anymore, and there were no more peonies coming. Tim looked destroyed, Tom had caught him smoking cigarettes and hiding a tear. Tom knew how it felt, he’d been there before, feeling like someone else had taken his place, a place that belonged to him. He couldn’t blame him.
And maybe Tom had just a slight bit of sympathy and guilt and maybe that’s why he hadn’t kissed y/n as much when Tim was around. The guy wasn’t to blame, honestly. Even if he despised him, Tim had nothing to blame right now. If anything, Tom respected him because y/n had broken his heart.
And the last night, while they were in the bathtub, surrounded by bubbles and foam, his arm around her, her back against his chest, glasses of red wine in their hands, the lights out, they were quiet. They had been quiet those days. Words were their strongest weapons and this time they didn’t want to wound each other.
“y/n?” he had talked.
And he felt how she had shifted, turning cold, as if she didn’t want to have any conversation. “Yes?”
“I… I uh, called my parents before,” he said.
She nodded. “Yeah, I heard, that’s why I didn’t interrupt.”
“Yeah,” he gulped before placing a sweet kiss on her shoulder. “I…” He gulped, “Apparently they’re… having another lunch party of sorts with your parents when we come back, and we have to be there.”
“Ah, yeah, James told me about it, what’s with them always throwing parties together?” she chuckled as she blew some bubbles at him. “As if they didn’t see each other once a week.”
Tom grinned, as he then decided to splash out some water at her. “And as if we didn’t hang out on our own.”
She laughed, leaning against him, she took his hand and played with it.
Tom locked his fingers with hers, and took a sip of his wine.
“Oh, if they knew,” she chuckled. “We haven’t behaved, haven’t we?” she asked before turning around to beard him up with the bubbles.
Tom almost choked on his wine, but chuckled. “Y/N!”
“What?” she giggled. “I don’t think this is exactly what they wanted when they told us to behave whenever we fought.”
He grinned, agreeing. He really didn’t want this to die, not this time. Because this wasn’t supposed to be forbidden, this wasn’t them being silly children fighting, or kissing. This wasn’t illicit, the deal couldn’t be expired.
“I told them I was seeing someone,” Tom mentioned after a while.
She turned warm again and then turned to face him. “Yea?”
He smiled. “Yes, hope you don’t mind”
She chuckled. “I… did they ask who?”
“Yes,” Tom gulped. “I didn’t tell them, told them I wanted them to meet her.”
She laughed. “I love pretending not to know your parents,” she looked down at him and placed a soft kiss on the edge of his lips.
“So, I told them that I’d bring her to lunch,” he whispered, hoping this wasn’t something that would bring their little act down.
She paused, taking a deep breath.
Tom then feared his words had been a knife and he had just stabbed her. But then, after what Tom felt was the longest minute of his life she turned to him.
“Well, I hope they like her and that she’s there on time” And she’d kissed him.
“And… I’ve been thinking,” he said. “I… also have a song for us.”
“Ah, you do?”
“Yeah, that’s what’s been keeping me awake these two nights,” he said, ignoring what had happened the night before. “It took me a lot to think about it.”
“Really?”
“Yes because it couldn’t be a normal song, you know? I can’t just simply choose a random one.”
“Why not?” She chuckled.
“Because it’s you, it either has to be an 80’s song or a One Direction song, I know you,” he laughed.
She giggled. “But… If a song fits, it fits, you know?” She tilted her head.
“Okay, I’m just going to pretend you just didn’t say that,” he blinked. “Because I really wanted it to be perfect, and…I really had to think about it to fit your whole aesthetic, and crazy mind of yours, and I came up with this one. And now, I’ll…” He reached for his phone. “I just want you to close your eyes, and…”
“Does it have a meaning?”
“I just feel like… It fits, you know?” he chuckled. “It’s actually a song about war.”
She blinked. “War?”
“Yeah, war.”
“Funny, I also relate a war concept to you,” she whispered.
“Huh?”
“Nothing, what’s the song?” She smiled.
“Close your eyes….”
And she did, and he played the song. Everybody Wants To Rule The World. Tears for Fears. And maybe that song did it for them, because they believed it.
The flight back home had been quiet, and y/n said she never wanted to forget New York, the city that never sleeps, and the city where they barely had slept, tangled up in the sheets and yearning for an eternal moonlight, memorizing each other. The city where they had only found each other in a crowd, where no matter how chaotic, they’d found peace. A sun making its way back out after a storm. Tom didn’t want to leave the clear blue sky, the cozy nights, the hope, he didn’t want to go back to the rain. Because it felt like it was coming.
But London received them with a bright sunny day, not a gray sky. It was sunny, and warm. And maybe it was telling them that it’d be alright.
Tom had only gone back home, picked out a few clothes, avoided Harrison and then decided to go to y/n’s place. He avoided everyone’s calls. So had y/n. They needed to be alone before everything could explode.
Because just the very next day, they’d go to the lunch thing. And he knew that he wasn’t nervous about his parents, or her parents. Both of them were nervous about Harry. Even if they hadn’t said anything, he knew both of them were very very very anxious about it. Especially now that Tom knew that y/n had known about his brother’s infatuation towards her. And he still hadn’t yet decided how to feel about it. Guilty, at least. Very, very guilty. And maybe angry at y/n. But was he, really? He loved her, and she loved him back. He couldn’t be stupid enough to think about how y/n didn’t love someone else.
This was y/n’s fault, or was it Tom’s? Why the hell couldn’t he make up his mind about this. And he thought how it would go, how if she’d chosen Harry instead. How he’d have to stay quiet, be happy for his brother. But Harry? Would Harry be happy?
Because Tom knew that that territory was dangerous, mostly because y/n had been right. Tom had never shown her that he loved her, and Harry probably would get defensive, and he’d probably be angry because everyone said it, and he knew what was coming: Tom will break y/n’s heart because that’s all Tom does. Break y/n apart.
But Harry would bring Emma, right? It’d be okay. Harry had moved on, and the only thing Tom would have to deal with was the fact that TOm had hidden his love towards y/n.
He knew the conversation was long overdue, with y/n, with Harry. Of course, that by admitting it with everyone else there, he’d avoid some kind of drama. But if they didn’t, Tom decided to enjoy his tranquility alone with y/n. Kissing, and cuddling and laughing and then with their clothes again on the floor, tangled in between the sheets, and longing for the night to never end because the next day, it could probably rain.
They had a sort of plan, test the waters first.
And she’d chosen that strawberry dress, yes, it was strawberries, on a pink dress that Tom loved. And Tom felt dizzy, as he’d given her one last quick kiss before walking in, to see Nikki and Elaine with a glass of champagne in their hands as they were talking to each other.
They paused, watching Tom as he knew they tried to look behind him, trying to find the girl he had so talked marvels about.
They both kissed their mother’s cheeks, and hugged the others’.
“Well, hello, you two,” Elaine said. “I’m surprised you’re both complete after spending two months together,” she commented.
“We get along,” y/n laughed. “For now, besides, he was paying me so.”
“How was New York? It was always a dream of yours, did you like it?” Elaine asked.
“Loved it, it’s the best time I’ve ever had in my life,” she admitted with a grin.
Tom blushed, but then cleared his throat to look at his mother. “Uh, we--” He cleared his throat. “I brought wine, so...I’m gonna…”
Nikki grinned. “Tom, where’s your...girlfriend?” She sounded suspicious.
He chuckled as he headed to the kitchen. “Ah, she’ll be here, she’s running late,” he lied.
“Hm, not a great first impression as the new girlfriend huh?” Elaine commented.
Tom hid a grin, as he heard y/n chuckle. He took out two beers from the fridge and opened them
“So, y/n, thoughts on his new girlfriend? I assume you know her,” Nikki commented.
Tom walked back over, handed y/n a beer and laughed. “You’re really asking my worst enemy her thoughts on my new girlfriend?”
Elaine smirked. “She’s the one who will tell us the truth.”
Y/N snickered. “Uh- well,” she looked at Tom. “Mm, honestly she’s a little slutty, feel like he paid her to date her.”
Tom choked on his beer.
Elaine and Nikki widened their eyes with surprise.
“What?” the three of them said in unison.
“Y/N!” Her mother called her.
“I’m kidding,” she laughed. “Uh seriously I’m joking, , honestly I… I’m sorry, I don’t think I have an opinion of her, I only know she’s got terrible taste if she wants to date him.”
Tom smirked and faked a phony laugh. “Can’t deny that,” he grinned. “But, no, she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my life, she’s stunning, so smart and talented.”
“But, let’s just say they can rule the world.”
Tom smiled.
Y/N smiled to herself. “So, where are the guys?”
“Sam, Rich and Dom went to buy some stuff, Pad is upstairs-”Nikki explained.
“And Ha--”Tom couldn't finish.
“I’m here, you guys arrived early,” James had walked in just in time for Tom and y/n to scoot away from each other. “Didn’t see your car, n/n,” he raised his brows with a smirk. He then turned with his coldest stare at Tom. “Thomas.”
“Hi, bro,” Tom awkwardly fist bumped him.
He said hello to Nikki and his mother.
“So, what’s the occasion this time?” James asked as he snatched the beer from his sister’s hand, she pouted but then Tom discreetly offered his, y/n denied it.
“As if we needed an occasion to have lunch together,” y/n pointed out.
“Tom’s got a girlfriend,” Elaine answered. “We’re meeting her today.”
James’ eyes widened as he stared between the young couple. “Does he, now?” Tom only sipped his beer. “Ah, I’ve never seen you guys make such a deal out of a new girlfriend,” James snaked, chuckling. “Well, what about you, y/n?” James grinned. “Have you a boyfriend now?”
Y/N now snatched the beer from Tom’s hands, taking a sip. “Hm?”
James raised his brows, chuckling. “Fine.”
“So…” Nikki cleared her throat. “Y/n, dear, I need you to help me out with something, you’re going to be Emma’s maid of honor right?”
“Yes!” Y/N gulped.
Nikki grinned, “amazing, can you come here a little and help me out?”
Tom held his breath as he watched his mother and y/n leave.
“So, Tom, how really is she?” Elaine asked. “No need to impress y/n now,” she chuckled.
“How is who?” James asked.
“We were talking about his girlfriend, y/n called her slutty,” Elaine commented.
“But she’s not!” Tom was quick to answer.
“No, I know,” Elaine laughed.
James crossed his arms and chuckled. “Mum, I don’t think you should be asking him that.”
“Well, she's running late, already making a bad impression, Tom, meeting the parents is always a deal breaker.”
James let out a long laugh. “I am sure they will love her.”
“Do you know her, already?” Asked Elaine. “Is she—how do you guys say it? A hottie?”
“Mum I really don’t think—“James chuckled. “Don’t.”
“She’s beautiful,” Tom said, snickering.
Elaine nodded. “So, Tom, I… I am going to ask you because well, you were there,” she sighed. “How did y/n do? With Tim being there?”
Tom turned cold. Of course Elaine would ask about Timothée. James’ eyes widened and he coughed.
“Mum, don’t… Go there,” James warned.
“Well, I’ve gotta ask,” she nodded. “I’m just worried, I… She was really bummed when they broke up. Tim really was the love of her life.”
Tom blinked and cleared his throat, he shook his head. “I… You know what? I.. I don’t think he is,” he said. “But yea, she did fine… And I’m getting another beer.”
Tom decided to not go back to that conversation and join his youngest brother instead, too busy playing on his Nintendo Switch, Tessa ran over to his lap. Eventually, he heard the door open again and men’s laughs filled the house, Richard, y/n’s father, Dom and Sam had walked in. No trace of Harry.
Tom had walked backstairs again to see Sam and Y/N catching up, laughing at something she was showing him on his phone. Still, no trace of Harry.
“Mum, where’s Harry?” Tom asked Nikki.
“Ah, he had something to do with Emma, you know, they’re planning an engagement party and--”
“They are? He didn’t tell me,” Harry frowned. “He’s not coming, then?”
“No,” Nikki shook her head. “He told me that he was happy you had a girlfriend though,” she mentioned.
Tom felt a stab in his chest. Did Harry know? Maybe he did, and if he did, was he happy? Maybe he had to tell this to his brother alone, not like this. This was the universe telling Tom that he had to speak to his brother, even if he’d been avoiding him for a while now.
The afternoon continued, and Tom and y/n were trying so hard not to give hints yet, and it was hard, Tom was holding back from taking her hand, from kissing her cheek. They’d gotten so used to being alone that this wasn’t them.
Tom and y/n had agreed not to say anything until the very end. But honestly, Tom didn’t know what this was even for anymore, their parents weren’t the ones who mattered and Sam and James probably had guessed it by now. For who was this surprise for? Paddy? This was the moment Tom had planned to tell Harry. Not… Well, if they were honest this was their way out to not be scared. To be alone even if they were surrounded by all of them.
“Tom’s girlfriend hasn’t showed up, huh?” Richard laughed. “We’ve all been there buddy, maybe it was too soon to meet the parents, huh?”
Tom laughed. “I… Don’t think it is.”
“So, is she actually a real girlfriend or another girl you’re parading with?” Richard pushed.
James took a long sip of his beer. “Yeah, Tom, is she a real girlfriend?”
Tom laughed nervously. “I… she’s a real girlfriend, I’m really hoping it’ll last.”
“Well, if she’s not here already, I wouldn’t be so sure,” Dom pointed out.
Sam burst out in laughter and nudged Tom. “Uh-huh.”
Tom managed a way to sneak out of the conversation as he had seen y/n walk in alone to the kitchen, he ran over to her and made sure nobody was watching before placing a kiss on her cheek from behind.
“Oh, hi,” she grinned.
“So how’s it going?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.
“So, my mum and your mum already hate me because I’m late and now they are wondering if I’m ugly because you’ve never said anything about it, and they really think I’m a little slutty,” she giggled.
“I mean, last night...” Tom smirked.
“Shut up!” She slapped his shoulder.
“I’m joking,” he laughed as he nuzzled into her neck, giggling.
“Well how is it going for you?” she frowned.
“Pretty much the same, they don’t suspect a thing,” Tom admitted, kissing her neck again.. “Mmh, should we tell them now?”
“I don’t know, maybe… We could wait, tell them she won’t be able to come and… I feel like… I dunno.” She turned around. “Now, this is obvious enough so,” she pushed him away before walking outside where they’d be eating.
They were getting ready, their sitting arrangements just as usual, Tom and y/n far away from each other. A seat, usual Harry’s seat, empty.
“And this is for your nameless girlfriend,” Nikki said as she placed an empty plate right beside Tom. “Whom I don’t think will show up now but…”
“Actually, mum, I’m gonna be sitting over there,” Tom said, taking his plate and walking over to y/n.
All the table went quiet, Sam and James only watched him curiously and about to burst into laughter. Seemed like the two of them had realized they both knew and they were having quite a lot of fun with this situation.
“You guys are gonna behave?” Elaine laughed.
“Yeah, think I can behave just fine with my girlfriend,” Tom smirked as he finally sat down beside y/n, finally holding her hand. It felt like the walls had tumbled down finally. There was only a wall far away, waiting to be tumbled, but Tom would take care of that himself later.
The table went cold and quiet, shock coming from both their parents faces as y/n was also a bit in shock. But she smiled.
“What?” Paddy was the only one to make a noise. “Didn’t you hate each other? What the hell?” He scrunched his nose with confusion.
They remained quiet, their eyebrows were raised and their mouths shaped in big ‘o’s.
The silence was broken with Elaine, gracefully turning to her best friend and smirking. “Give me my money back, and pay up.”
“What?” Tom and y/n asked in unison.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Nikki blinked as Elaine grinned. “Are you guys serious? Are you actually?”
“Yeah,” y/n chuckled. “I’m the slutty ugly girl who arrived late.”
Tom laughed. “No-”
“Pay up, Nik,” Elaine grinned.
“What?” Tom asked again.
“Your mothers decided to bet, Elaine said you’d end up dating with this and your mum said you wouldn’t,” Dom explained. “They’ve been doing this their whole lives and now it’s actually a--”
“You guys are betting over our love life?” Y/N frowned, laughing.
“You guys are dating?” Richard was the one to ask now. “What is going on?”
Of course, Tom and y/n couldn’t tell them how they had actually started dating, they had come up with them starting to hang out more and realizing their feelings with each other, and technically that wasn’t a lie, but of course Sam and James weren’t buying it, but they kept quiet, so it was good,at least so after calming down their shock. Obviously then seeing their parents' reactions and regrets over past comments about making fun of Tom and his non-existent girlfriend or about how she probably was ugly. It went… great, it was calm and they finally could slowly hold hands and they finally let themselves go. They were free, out of a cage, out of a staged lie, and they were on their best behavior, for the first time they didn’t hear it ‘children, behave’, and he finally could place an arm around her, and they didn’t have to hide the fact that they were lovingly staring into each other's eyes. They didn’t have to be alone now, and honestly, they could rule the world by then. Everything was perfect.
The news was great for both families, and although the one Tom wanted to know the most hadn’t heard it yet, he wasn’t scared, not for the first time. Because he felt free, for the first time he really wanted to do things right. Even if he’d heard it, and even if they hadn’t talked about it, they’d have time because they didn’t have to hide, not anymore.
He went back to her place again that night.
“So, that went amazing,” y/n commented as soon as they’d walk into her apartment, Tom couldn’t keep her hands off of her.
“I thought… I thought they wouldn’t like it,” he laughed.
“Can you believe they’ve been betting their whole lives?” She laughed. “God, I mean, I understand they’re best friends and that they-- But?”
He scoffed. “Maybe we should start betting on them too, you know? Stuff like, who’s going to go bald first or dunno.”
“Whatever, I think we should celebrate,” she smirked.
“Oh?”
She giggled but then pulled him in for a long, long kiss, as her tongue explored his. She quickly pulled away. “Huh, wait, what time is it? I haven’t--I haven’t sent out that thing for my script, shit, shit shit,” she continued cursing as she let him go, she ran over to her room and took out her laptop. Tom blinked but followed after her.
She was quick to type, and then she seemed so stressed as she kept swearing until she finally sent it in, whatever she was sending. Tom only sat on the edge of the bed watching her.
“Where were we?” She asked, before crawling over to him. She hadn’t closed her laptop.
“About to celebrate, I believe,” he smirked, as he wrapped his arms around her to kiss her again. She sat on his lap, and played with his hair.
Her phone started to ring, she ignored it, as she was taking off Tom’s shirt and he was ready to take off her cherry dress. But it kept ringing.
“Would you mind if---?” She asked as she took out her phone. Tom chuckled but kept his lips on her jawline, tracing it down with soft kisses. She cleared her throat. “Shit, it’s my boss.”
He kept kissing her neck, though.
“Uh, hi, Alessandra--”
“I’m sorry I’m calling you this late,” Tom heard her boss say over the phone. “I hope you’re not busy.”
Y/N bit her lip as Tom chuckled, kissing down his way to her collarbone.
“I’m… No, I’m not busy, it’s alright.”
“Well, uh, we need to talk about the script I uh--”
“Actually, um, Alessandra just give me a sec,” she cleared her throat as she quickly pushed Tom away and jumped off his grip. He pouted but then she placed a quick kiss on his lips before rushing out of her room.
Tom chuckled, and then stared at her laptop. He pulled it close and saw the opened document, from what he could see it was her script. The same script she’d been so secretive about. Of course he was going to read it, he wanted to praise her work and talent, so he started reading it.
But maybe he shouldn’t have, because just as he started, a storm started pouring down in London.
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