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waveridden · 4 years ago

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JAMIE have you ever considered a modern AU for blaseball because I would love to hear your thoughts on one

cola... have i told you lately that i love you

i know i’ve talked a little about various modern aus however tonight i am thinking about the marijuana family so i present to you:

HIGH ON LIFE: a marijuana family sitcom (name subject to change) (many thanks to @leonstamatis because some of this comes from conversations with them. mostly the jokes.)

here is the setup for this mini universe that lives in my head

dom (23) is the pseudo parent to randy (19) and lenny (14 but she’s almost 15 guys she’s basically an adult) and the three of them have lived in new york city their entire lives but dom gets a job offer that’s too good to pass up... in denver*. so the entire family has to pack up and move to denver.

( * i would do somewhere in utah, bc hellmouth, but i have to be honest. i’ve known several people from utah and all of them have been just like... horrible to be around. so this is a personal bias thing. colorado’s better anyways.)

so our family is in denver now! denver is a major city ofc but it’s still a MAJOR change from new york so that is our inciting sitcom incident. Uh Oh What Kind Of Wackiness Will Our Protagonists Get Up To!

dom works at a warehouse, he’s a shift lead or something like that, and it’s his first ever full time job (as opposed to stringing together three part-time jobs). it’s supposed to be a great job and he fucking hates it but the pay is better than anything in new york and it’s better for the family if he’s here so, well, he’s here

andrew solis is a local union rep who dom gets in touch with because his job sucks and they have a lot of clandestine meetings about union stuff that turn into non clandestine meetings because they enjoy spending time together that turn into a nice normal committed relationship

andrew gets along really well with randy. he’s a nice kid, if a little much sometimes. it’s fine.

andrew is terrified of lenny

you know that john mulaney bit about how a group of thirteen year olds can sense your insecurities? lenny is an entire group of thirteen year olds on her own. she is mean and powerful and andrew is afraid of that.

obviously a lot of dom’s friends (ie the mills) are back in new york but he calls them CONSTANTLY. like, once a day. they are very loud and they love him and they miss him and are so proud of him for helping his job unionize and shit like that. they can’t visit in person often but every now and again they do.

randy gets a job at a local theatre company, which is the last thing he expected to be doing but it’s kind of... awesome? everyone here is super chill and funny and loud and he gets along with them great.

this is the jazz hands. i know they’re in breckenridge. this is my au. they’re in denver today.

his immediate best friend is layna, who does bit parts in musicals and more importantly writes a lot of weird experimental short plays that the theatre produces. she’s a couple years older than him and is far too cool and pretty for him. she tells him this every day and he agrees. she works at a zoo/botanical garden and lenny is constantly hounding her for free zoo passes and stuff (layna agrees because she adores lenny and also it’s an excuse for randy to visit her)

is the botanical garden an excuse to have the flowers players here? yes. geography is less powerful than I Want Everyone In The Same Place

randy’s OTHER best friends are nagomi (community college student/works in the aquarium part of the zoo) and emmett (computer science student at a four-year). most of the time the three of them just chill out and get high and do dumb 19-year-old shit together they’re just three chill friends

do not leave nagomi and lenny in a room together. don’t do it.

lenny isn’t allowed in costco anymore. this is nagomi’s fault

one time randy leaves both emmett and nagomi to watch lenny because surely emmett will prevent any shenanigans. when he comes back nagomi and lenny have stolen three street signs. emmett allowed this to happen because lenny and nagomi specificall stole a sign that said “emmett drive” and they can’t drive and they think it’s funny. so emmett is ALSO not allowed to watch lenny/nagomi

(emmett’s fine watching lenny on their own, it’s just that nagomi “fuck around and find out” nava is too powerful to be overridden)

occasionally nagomi’s twin sibling margarito also hangs out with her randy and emmett. when margo/randy are together they’re A Force To Be Reckoned With. they’re chaotic and easy to manipulate so nagomi can convince them to do some wild shit together. it rules.

lenny loves margo. xe’s never allowed to know this. but she adores xem.

meanwhile lenny is experiencing the worst thing that a teenager can experience: moving during high school. she is doing her absolute goddamn best to fit into the social scene here but it’s so different from new york and she doesn’t know how to handle it

her first friend is kiki familia because i just think fourteen year old girls should stick together and because i think lenny is not above very loudly very rudely making sure that kiki gets all the accommodations she needs

andrew visits one day and lenny is practicing asl in front of a mirror and he’s like oh do you want a conversation partner? because he knows enough to hold a conversation. this is how lenny and andrew form an actual relationship

(andrew is also fluent in spanish and he helps her with spanish homework but she resents this because she thinks it’s nerdy. at least with asl it’s for a good reason.)

and then a couple months later another new student shows up and she is having the opposite experience from lenny because she lived in wyoming for a really long time which is... not a big city... and denver is comparatively HUGE and she’s just really overwhelmed? and lenny is like. oh i can show you around! for sure! definitely! new students have to stick together!

kiki, suspiciously: you’re not new anymore

lenny, very non-subtly: kiki shut the fuck up

this new student is chorby and she gets along great with both kiki (i’m not sure what the analog for magical girl is in a modern au but like it’s something and they bond over it) and lenny, who immediately has a massive big huge crush on her

kiki knows this. kiki mocks this relentlessly.

lenny makes it super super clear that kiki is never going to be the third wheel and kiki’s like yes i am and that’s fine

dom and randy both absolutely adore chorby. she’s so polite. lenny knows that chorby can curse like a sailor and has very specific opinions about screamo bands but when she meets lenny’s brothers she is a saint and lenny is like... swooning over it

and like lenny/chorby are teenagers which means sometimes they get into fights over dumb things and sometimes they get into fights over serious things but they always work it out in the end

there’s definitely a whole Thing because chorby goes to the sadie hawkins dance with juice collins and lenny is like. what the fuck.

is juice a teen? she is in the jamie cassidy extended blaseball teen universe. at least for today

anyways you might notice that there is not a lot of plot here. that’s because this is a sitcom and it is really just a very long setup for me to think about various ideas happening in (i.e. lenny trying to intimidate andrew for absolutely no reason, randy/nagomi/emmett shenanigans) it’s genuinely just like. a fun little world for me to play in when i need it.

the MOST IMPORTANT PART of this au is the family tho. cannot stress this enough, dom and randy and lenny all have family time constantly. they love each other so much. and that family expands to include andrew, and chorby, and emmett and nagomi and kiki and layna, but at its heart This Is A Sibling Story and i love them. the end

#waveridden.ask #queen-eevee #i need a blaseball tag #i was like 'this'll be an easy quick thing to answer' spoiler alert it... wasn't #under the cut i present to you THIRTEEN HUNDRED WORDS of self indulgent shenanigans #weed family sitcom tag

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dlwritings · 5 years ago

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Supernatural Minds | Sam Winchester

general masterlist found here

pairing - Sam x BAU!reader word count - 6,006 (*John Mulaney voice* Holy shit, right?) warnings - language, themes from Supernatural and Criminal Minds

(A/N) - I don’t know wtf happened in my brain but apparently I needed a Supernatural x Criminal Minds crossover

summary - Jody Mills calls her friend at the BAU to help crack a serial killer case. Sam and Dean think it’s impossible to profile a werewolf. So who’s right about the bad guy? The FBI or the hunters?

(Y/N) was sitting on her bed in her pajamas, watching a movie and inhaling popcorn when suddenly, her phone rang. She paused her movie and checked the caller ID, smiling when the name Jody Mills flashed across the screen. “Well hey there, sheriff,” she said. “It’s been too long.”

“I wish I was calling for pleasantries,” Jody said.

“Ah I knew you were just using me for my federal perks,” she teased. “What’s up?”

“My chief of police already sent files to your office,” she said. “We’ve got something pretty messed up over here.”

(Y/N) sat up a little straighter. “What kind of messed up are we talking?”

Jody sighed. “Remember the first case of yours you ever told me about?”

She scoffed. “You’ll have to be more specific.”

“The man who used his son to kill women,” she said. “And he’d-”

“Cut out their hearts,” (Y/N) finished, shuddering. “Yeah. I remember.”

Jody sighed again. “It’s sounding a lot like that.” (Y/N) sighed in response and rubbed her forehead with her hand.

“Thanks for the heads up,” she said. “I’m sure JJ’ll brief us tomorrow. So I guess I’ll be seeing you soon.”

“I wish it was under better circumstances,” Jody said.

“Tell you what,” (Y/N) said, “after we solve the case, you can cook me some dinner.”

Jody laughed. “Deal.”

The next day, as (Y/N) expected, JJ called everyone into the conference room to give a rundown of the case Jody had sent. “Sioux Falls, South Dakota,” she said, handing everyone a copy of the file. “They’ve had four murders in the past four weeks. They’ve all been women in their 30s, single.”

“Any connection between the victims?” Morgan asked.

“All classic blonde haired beauties,” JJ said. “They were all last seen entering their homes, but no one noticed them leave. No forced entry into any home indicates they left with the unsub voluntarily.”

“How are we sure it’s the same killer?” Prentiss asked.

“They’ve all been dumped in the exact same spot,” JJ said. “An abandoned salvage yard.”

“Anything else?” Morgan asked.

“Yeah,” JJ said, switching the screen to photos of the bodies. “There’s this too.”

“What is-”

“Every victim was missing their heart,” JJ said, cutting Morgan off.

Everyone sighed, and (Y/N) dropped the file on the table and put her head in her hands. “Alright,” Hotch said. “Wheels up in 30.”

On the plane, (Y/N) sat next to Morgan as she continued looking over the case file. “You’re from Sioux Falls, right?” he asked her.

“Yeah,” she said. “The sheriff who asked for our help’s an old friend. I haven’t been back in a while though.”

“You looking forward to it?” Morgan asked.

“What, to investigating a violent crime scene?” she quipped.

Morgan chuckled. “You know what I mean.”

She shrugged. “Not exactly a lot of happy memories there.” Morgan nodded and dropped the subject.

“Alright, let’s brief,” JJ said. “What have we got?”

“The unsub’s able to coerce the victims into leaving their homes with no force,” (Y/N) said.

“There are no signs that sexual assault takes place before he cuts their hearts out and dumps them at the salvage yard,” Morgan added.

“The precision with which he cuts the hearts out implies he’s some sort of doctor,” Reid said.

“Are we looking at a psychotic break?” Prentiss asked.

“Maybe,” Reid said. “The hearts most likely mean something. They’re his trophies, but he’s trying to make a statement.”

“A brokenhearted man?” (Y/N) offered.

Morgan scoffed. “With a seriously messed up way of coping.”

They landed in South Dakota and made their way to the crime scene. As soon as they arrived, (Y/N) spotted Jody. She excused herself from the rest of the group and jogged over to her. Jody welcomed her with open arms. “It’s been too long,” (Y/N) said.

“You’re telling me,” Jody said. “I hardly recognize you.”

“Shut up,” she laughed. “It hasn’t been that long.”

Jody chuckled and looked over (Y/N)’s shoulder just as the rest of the team joined them. “Jody, these are my colleagues-” She motioned to everyone respectively. “-SSAs Hotchner, Morgan, Prentiss, Jareau, Gideon, and Dr. Reid.” Jody shook everyone’s hands.

“Thank you all for coming out,” she said. “We don’t get a lot of serial killers in this area, so we’re feeling a little in over our heads.” JJ went to speak with the chief of police while Jody showed the rest of them the bodies.

“This is Bobby Singer’s place, right?” (Y/N) asked.

“Was,” Jody said. “Bobby died about, oh, eight years ago now.”

“Who found the bodies?” Gideon asked.

“A local teen boy,” she said. “This place has become a pretty popular smoking site for teens after Bobby left it.”

“What else can you tell us?” Morgan asked.

“Laine-” Jody pointed to the body closest to (Y/N). “-was the first victim. Alyssa went missing the following week, then Rachel, and finally, Tara.” Jody sighed. “None of them older than 35. All real nice girls. They’ve lived in the town their whole lives.”

“Were you able to discern when the bodies were dropped?” Reid asked. “Like what time or what day?”

“The boy who found the bodies is a good boy,” she said. “Charlie Miller. He and his friends come out here to smoke so their parents don’t bust ‘em. Still, like I said, he’s a good boy. He said they were here Thursday night, left around 1:00 in the morning. Charlie realized he left his wallet, so he came back the next morning. He got here about 7:30 on his way to school. That was when he found the body.”

“So this guy’s dumping them in the dead of night,” (Y/N) said.

“Did Charlie and his friends not notice the other bodies every other time they’ve been here?” Morgan asked.

“That’s one of the strange things,” Jody said. “All the other bodies were covered by a tarp. This one wasn’t.”

“So he’s getting sloppy?” Prentiss said. “Maybe he was in a hurry?"

“This kind of unsub doesn’t get sloppy,” Gideon said. “Something scared him. He had to run.”

“You think he almost got caught?” Jody asked.

“I’m thinking we need to talk to Charlie again,” Gideon said. “He might’ve seen more than he let on.”

Sam and Dean arrived at the scene, ready to flash their badges. They passed the yellow tape and saw Jody. Sam called her name, and everyone Jody was with turned to look in their direction. “Feds?” Dean asked his brother.

“Real feds,” Sam emphasized.

“What the hell’s going on here?” Dean mumbled. Jody met the boys halfway, leading them away from the group of suits. She greeted them with hugs.

“What the hell are you two doing here?” she asked.

“Claire called,” Dean said. “Heard you got a werewolf.”

Jody sighed. “I told her, it’s not a werewolf.”

“She said the victims are all missing hearts,” Sam said.

“But they weren’t ripped out,” Jody said.

“What are you talking about?” Dean asked. Jody huffed and rolled her eyes.

“You see those people over there?” she said. “That’s the real FBI. So who are you guys pretending to be today?” Dean mumbled something Jody didn’t catch. “Don’t mumble,” Jody scolded somewhat playfully.

Dean sighed. “Agents Stark and Banner.”

Jody shook her head in disbelief. “These guys are with the BAU.”

“BAU?” Sam repeated.

“Behavior Analysis Unit,” Jody said. “Their entire job is to profile people. They’ll be able to smell the fake FBI on you.”

“Then who do you want us to be?” Dean asked.

“I don’t know,” Jody said. “I’ll just call you some experts.”

They all walked over to the feds, and Jody introduced them, not bothering with fake names. The boys both crouched down beside the most recent body and examined the wounds. Jody kept the BAU busy. “Maybe she’s right,” Sam said. “Maybe it’s not our thing.”

“Come on, man,” Dean said. “Missing hearts? This is classic werewolf.”

“I’ve never seen a werewolf take the time to carve out the heart,” Sam argued.

“Explain the cattle mutilations,” Dean said. “Those were all missing hearts too.” Sam sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. He looked over at Jody and the BAU. He noticed one of the agents staring in their direction. “What are you thinking?” Dean asked, snapping Sam out of his thoughts. Sam looked at his brother and sighed.

“You’re not gonna like it,” Sam said. Dean just raised his eyebrows. “Hearing what the BAU is thinking would be helpful.”

“You want to work with actual feds?” Dean asked. “They’ve got sticks so far up their asses, they’ll never let us in.”

“If Jody says-”

“Doesn’t matter what Jody says,” Dean said. “If we even utter the word werewolf-”

“Maybe we don’t have to say it,” Sam said. “We can still listen to their profile and figure the rest out on our own.” Dean sighed, looked at Sam for another moment, then looked back over at Jody and called her over. She held up a finger to the people in the BAU and walked back over to the boys. “Is there any way you can convince them to let us in on this?” Sam asked her.

“Suddenly you boys want to hunt serial killers?” Jody asked with raised eyebrows.

“Sam’s always been a sick fan of true crime,” Dean said to which Sam rolled his eyes.

“Dean still thinks it’s a werewolf,” Sam said, “and if he’s right, your agents aren’t going to have a clue what to do once they find him.” Jody looked at both boys before letting out another sigh.

“If this gets me fired,” she said, “it’s on both of your asses.”

When Jody walked back over to the BAU with both of the boys, (Y/N) looked at them carefully. Brothers. The one Jody introduced as Dean was older. The eye contact Sam made with the rest of the team implied his people skills were better than his brother’s. Their hands -visibly rough- meant they frequented hand-to-hand combat, which was somewhat uncommon for agents of any kind. Neither of them had holsters with a gun, so (Y/N) assumed they kept them in the back of their pants, if they were armed at all. Every agent she knew kept it in a holster when they were on the job. To her, and she was sure the rest of the team, these boys didn’t have any federal qualifications. So why the hell was Jody vouching for them? And what kind of experts were they?

While Jody was talking with the men, the team had been talking and creating a profile. “Jody, tell your chief we’re ready to give a profile,” (Y/N) told her. “We’ll regroup at the station.”

Once at the station, the BAU got the attention of the police officers. “Your unsub is a white male in his 30s,” Hotch said.

“He’s handsome,” Prentiss said, “and probably charming.”

“The women go with him willingly,” (Y/N) said. “There are no defense wounds on any of the victims.”

“All of the women were found with midazolam in their system,” Reid said. “That along with the precision of the cuts on the chest indicate he works in some sort of hospital. He has the skills and access to tools and medication.”

“The use of midazolam means his victims are awake while he’s removing their hearts,” Morgan said. “Midazolam is a sedative. It’s used to keep them drowsy, but still awake.”

“There’s no sexual component to these crimes,” Gideon said, “which means it’s more likely he’s trying to make a point. It might just be the sickest way this guy knows to make it.”

“We think he’s suffering from some form of borderline personality disorder,” Reid said. “So he thinks all relationships revolve around him. Looking at him, you wouldn’t notice anything odd about him.”

“Like we said,” Prentiss added, “charming. Only those who know him well would see any of the symptoms: intense bouts of drinking, anger, depression.”

“Sounds like you,” Sam muttered to Dean. Dean elbowed him in the ribs as Jody slapped the back of his head.

“Focus,” Jody said. Hotch dismissed everyone, and (Y/N) kept eyeing Jody and the Winchesters. Winchester. Something about the name wasn’t sitting right with (Y/N). She separated from the rest of the group and found herself calling Penelope.

“She who seeks the Queen of All Knowledge,” Garcia said, “speak and be recognized.”

“Can you keep a secret?” (Y/N) asked.

“Uh, not happily,” she said.

“I need you to look up some names for me,” (Y/N) said.

“And why is that a secret?” she asked.

“It’s not exactly part of the case,” she answered. “I just need you to jog my memory.”

“Alright,” she said. “Who are they?”

“Sam and Dean Winchester.”

“On it,” Garcia said. (Y/N) could hear her clicking away, and before she knew it, she spoke. “Brothers. Um, both died in 2012. Extensive criminal record. They were on our most wanted list when they were alive. Credit card fraud, breaking and entering, grave desecration, arson, grand theft auto, murder, kidnapping, assaulting an officer, and impersonation. Seems like they were bad news.”

“Right,” (Y/N) said with a nod. “Thanks. You’re the best, babe.”

“I know.”

The night came, and (Y/N) decided to leave the hotel the team was staying at to go pay Jody a visit. When she got there, she saw the lights on. She walked up to the door and lightly gripped her gun that was in her holster. She knocked on the door and waited for someone to come. As soon as the door opened and Sam answered, she pulled out her gun and held it up to him. Sam immediately put his hands up. “Step back,” she said. Sam did, and (Y/N) let herself into the house, keeping her gun aimed at Sam. “Jody!” she called.

Jody and Dean both came into the hallway then, and Jody’s eyes grew wide. “Okay, okay,” Jody said, slowly walking towards (Y/N). “Relax. Tell me what’s going on.”

“What’s going on,” she quipped, “is that this is Sam and Dean Winchester, and they died almost eight years ago. So what the hell are they doing in your house?”

“(Y/N), put your gun down,” Jody said. “I can explain everything.” She let her eyes flicker over to Jody before looking back at the giant of a man in front of her. Then she sighed and put her gun back in her holster. Sam put his hands down. “Can I get you a drink?” Jody said to her.

“I’m good,” she said.

“She’s gonna need a drink,” Dean said. She glared at him, but Jody must’ve agreed because she came back into the room and handed (Y/N) the beer.

“Okay,” (Y/N) said after taking a long drink of the beer. “What the hell’s happening?” Jody and Sam sighed, but Dean seemed unaffected.

“Your killer’s a werewolf.”

“Dean,” Sam scolded.

“What?” Dean said. “What better way is there to say it?”

(Y/N) just laughed. “You’re shitting me, right?” She looked at Jody. “Right?”

“Ten years ago, I would’ve said the same thing,” Jody said. “But then my son came back from the dead and killed my husband.”

“Came back from the dead?” (Y/N) repeated.

“Full on zombie action,” Dean said. (Y/N) drank another large gulp of her beer.

“Every monster you’ve ever heard of,” Sam said slowly, “what you were told as a kid? It’s all true. Werewolves, vampires, ghosts, demons, they’re all real.”

“And you think,” (Y/N) said, “that this guy cutting hearts out is a werewolf.”

“We’re not entirely sure,” Sam said. “Werewolves eat hearts, but they don’t usually cut them out so meticulously.”

“Then why do you think it’s a werewolf?” she asked. “I’ve seen killers cut out hearts before, and they weren’t werewolves.”

“There have also been several cattle mutilations in the area,” Sam said. “All found missing their hearts.”

“So?”

“Werewolves can survive on animal hearts,” Dean said. “But they don’t prefer it.”

“So you think a werewolf suddenly lost his taste for cow hearts?” (Y/N) asked. “Caved to his true nature?”

“Could be,” Sam said.

“That still doesn’t explain the precision of the wounds,” she said, standing up from the couch now. She thought better when she paced. “You’re saying werewolves rip hearts out, right?” The boys and Jody nodded. “Then why does this werewolf exhibit so much restraint?”

Everyone was quiet for a moment as (Y/N) muttered softly to herself, thinking through the situation. “You believe us,” Sam observed. She stopped and turned to look at him. They were all studying her, and she sighed and sat back on the couch.

“My parents were murdered when I was 18,” she said. “You remember that, Jody?”

“Yeah,” Jody nodded. “I don’t remember the specifics, but-”

“They had small holes just under their ear,” (Y/N) continued, “and their brains-” She hesitated, drank some beer, and sighed. “Their brains had been sucked dry.” The boys looked at each other while (Y/N) continued to stare into space. “I spent my entire college career and now adult life studying people. Profiling killers and rapists and arsonists and pedophiles and-” She shook her head and finally looked up at the others. “-I have never once come across a person who had the ability to drain the brain out of another human. If you’re telling me monsters exist, then maybe I can make sense of what killed my parents.” Everyone was quiet, and Sam moved from his chair to sit next to her on the couch.

He cleared his throat. “It’s called a wraith.” She looked up at him, feeling tears in her eyes. “It’s, um, it’s a kind of monster that feeds on the liquid of the brain. They have spikes on their wrists that they inject in the victim to, to drain them.” She covered her mouth with her hand, and Sam hesitantly put his hand on her shoulder.

“Oh my god,” she breathed out. “Are you serious?”

“I’m sorry,” Sam said. Her breath shook as she tried not to cry.

“Holy shit,” she whispered, putting her head in her hands. “Shit.” Sam hesitantly moved his hand from her shoulder to her back and rubbed it gently. “Shit, this is crazy. This is insane. I can’t-” She tried to catch her breath. She was an agent. She could handle this.

She sat up and looked at everyone. “How do you kill a werewolf?” she asked.

“Okay, we don’t even know for sure that it is a werewolf,” Sam said.

“But if it is,” she said.

“Silver bullet,” Dean said.

“Where do you get a silver bullet?” she said.

“We’ve got a bit of an arsonal,” Dean said. She raised her eyebrows.

“So, is this just what you guys do?” she asked. “You just kill monsters?”

“Pretty much,” Sam said.

“It’s a thankless business,” Dean said, to which Sam rolled his eyes. (Y/N)’s phone rang suddenly, and she jumped and picked it up.

“You got something?” she asked Morgan as soon as she answered.

“Hotch and Reid reinterviewed the kid, Charlie,” Morgan said. “He said he actually saw the unsub dumping the body. He thinks the guy might’ve seen him.”

“So that’s what spooked him into running,” she deducted.

“There’s more,” he said. “We got two more victims.”

“Two?” she repeated, standing up from the couch again.

“Yeah,” he said. “Where are you?”

“With Sherif Mills,” she answered.

“Well, bring her too,” Morgan said. “You’ll want to see this.”

“Where are you?” she asked.

“Where Skunk Creek meets 469th,” he said.

“Be right there.”

(Y/N) hung up the phone with Morgan and looked at Jody, Sam, and Dean. “They found more bodies,” she said.

“Plural?” Jody said.

“That’s what he said,” she said. “Let’s go.” Sam and Dean stood up as well, and (Y/N) held her hand up to stop them. “I’m surprised none of the others have recognized you yet,” she said. “You were on the most wanted list for years. If they’ve caught on by now, you’ll be arrested on sight.”

“So what, you want us to stay here?” Dean asked.

“I don’t want you to,” she said, “I’m telling you to.”

“Listen,” Dean said, taking a step closer to her. She didn’t back down. “I know you think you know everything about killers, but profiling isn’t going to help when your killer is a werewolf.”

“I’m saving you from federal prison,” she said back. “You should be thanking me.” Dean looked like he was going to say something again, but Sam stopped him.

“Thank you,” Sam said. “We’d still like to help however we can.”

“I can send you pictures of the scene,” she said. “Would you be able to tell me if there are any-” She hesitated. “-werewolf signs?” Sam cracked a smile. She took note of his dimples right away and felt her cheeks warm.

“Yeah,” he said. “We can spot werewolf signs.” (Y/N) hadn’t realized she was grinning like an idiot until Jody gently nudged her.

“Let’s go girl,” she said to her.

“Right,” (Y/N) said. “Okay. Let’s go.”

As soon as they both got in the car-

“Don’t say it, Jody,” (Y/N) said.

“No matter how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other,” she said, “your heart-eyes face has not changed.”

“Oh my god,” (Y/N) said, rolling her eyes as Jody pulled out of the driveway.

“I’m just saying,” she said, smiling. “Sam’s a good guy. A lot of baggage, a bit of a temper, but-”

“You’re sure good at selling him,” she said back.

Jody laughed. “He’s a good guy, (Y/N). You could do a lot worse.”

She sighed. “Let’s just focus on stopping this, this werewolf serial killer.”

The dump site looked completely different than the salvage yard. One victim was a female, heart cut out just like the first. The other-

“Male, 30s,” Morgan said. “It looks like the heart was literally-”

“-ripped out of the chest,” (Y/N) finished. Morgan looked at her as she crouched beside the body, using her gloved hand to move some of the fabric of the guy’s shirt. She gave Jody a look, silently telling her to distract the others. She caught on and moved them away from the bodies so (Y/N) could snap some pictures. She had gotten Sam’s phone number from Jody in the car, so she sent them to Sam with the message, This the kind of thing you’re looking for?

She rejoined the group just as they were discussing the case. “What changed?” Prentiss asked. “Why two victims? And why are they killed so differently?”

“He could be devolving,” Reid offered.

“No,” Gideon said. “There’s no way the same unsub did these two killings.”

“He found a partner,” Hotch said.

“You’re saying there’s two suspects now?” Jody asked.

“Look at this,” Gideon said, walking over to the bodies again. “These attacks, the method is completely different. The original unsub used the same method. He took his time. Carved carefully. He still has a point to make. The new unsub, they’re motivated by rage. They don’t have the same amount of patience.”

“But look,” (Y/N) said, grabbing the arm of the newly mutilated victim, “the man was still injected.”

“The first unsub is still in charge of collecting the victims,” Morgan said. “He drugs them and brings them to the second unsub. They kill together.”

(Y/N)’s phone rang, and she looked and saw it was Sam. She excused herself and stepped away from the group. “What’s up?” she said, answering the phone.

“You have two killers,” he said.

“Yeah,” she said. “We kind of just gathered that.”

“We think you were right with the first guy,” Sam said. “He wasn’t a werewolf. But he was collecting the hearts for the werewolf.”

“It would explain why there were cattle mutilations around town,” Dean added. (Y/N) realized she was on speaker. “The werewolf was getting hearts from cows, but the killer wanted to impress her, so he brought her human hearts.”

“The hearts aren’t trophies,” (Y/N) muttered, suddenly gaining clarity. “They were gifts.”

“Once the werewolf got a taste of human hearts, she couldn’t take cow anymore,” Sam said. “She wanted to join the hunt.”

“But the first unsub couldn’t stop the killing,” she added. “He’s gotten the taste for it. He’s hooked. So now they do it together.”

“We still don’t know who they are though,” Dean said.

“But we have enough,” she said. “Let me talk to my team. I’ll keep you posted.”

She walked back over to her team. “I think it’s a couple,” she said. “Recently divorced. The second unsub is his ex-wife. He got the hearts for her, and now she’s joining him in the hunts.”

“How is she ripping the hearts out?” Morgan asked.

“I’m not sure,” (Y/N) said, not being able to tell the full truth. She looked at Jody. “Can you think of any male physicians in town? Surgeons? Recently divorced, like, right before the killings started. Handsome, charming, but-”

“William,” Jody said. “William Barkley. He and his ex-wife just got divorced. Um, her name’s Bianca.”

“Do you have an address?” Gideon asked.

“Uh, not off the top of my head,” Jody said.

“On it,” Morgan said. He already had his phone pressed to his ear. “Garcia, I need an address for William Barkley in Sioux Falls.” He paused. “Thanks baby girl.” He looked at the rest of the group. “237 Duffron.”

Everyone got in their cars and sped off to the location. (Y/N) opted to ride with Jody. “We’re not equipped to fight a werewolf, Jody,” she said. “What are we doing?”

“Call Sam,” she said. “Give him the address. They can meet us there.”

“If my team recognizes-”

“The other option is we all get attacked by something they don’t understand,” she said. (Y/N) weighed the options quickly and picked up her phone, dialling Sam’s number. She spewed off the address.

“Don’t come in right away,” she said. “The werewolf might not even be there, and the last thing we need is two flannel wearing hillbillies to come in, guns blazing.”

“We’re not hillbillies,” Dean said.

“Do you always put your phone calls on speaker?” she asked.

Sam laughed. “We’ll meet you there.”

They sped off towards the house, and Morgan kicked the door open upon arrival. “William Barkley?” he called. “FBI!” They all made their way through the house, checking and clearing rooms. Suddenly, Prentiss shouted from the basement.

By the time (Y/N) got down there, they already had William in handcuffs. (Y/N) rushed over to help Prentiss release the two most recent victims. “You’re okay, you’re okay,” she said as one of the victims collapsed against her, shaking with sobs. “You’re safe. You’re okay.”

When they got the women into ambulances, (Y/N) jogged over to where they were putting William into a police car. “Where is Bianca?” she asked.

“I was just trying to show her,” he said, “show her I love her no matter what. No matter who she became.”

“Where, is, Bianca?” she pressed.

“I knew hunters were coming,” he said. “I knew they were onto her.”

“What the hell is he talking about?” Morgan asked.

“(Y/N), we have to bring him back to the station,” Hotch said.

“Hang on!” she snapped. “Did you tell her to run?” William nodded. “Where did she go?”

“If she was going to die,” he said, “I wanted her to see something beautiful. One last sunrise. One last happy memory.”

“I got it,” Jody said. “I know where she is.”

“Take (Y/N) with you,” Gideon commanded. (Y/N) and Jody ran back to the car, and (Y/N) called Sam. She put him on speaker so Jody could spew off Bianca’s location.

“Do not do anything until we get there,” Sam said. “Your bullets will do nothing against a werewolf.”

The boys drove fast, because the four arrived at the scene at the same time. “How do you know she’s here?” Dean asked as he and Sam stepped out of the Impala.

“William said something about a final sunrise,” she said. “This is the best spot in town to catch a good sunrise.”

“So you just ran with that?” Dean asked.

“I know my town,” Jody said. “Don’t start-”

“Sam!”

The younger Winchester spun around when (Y/N) called his name. His reflexes weren’t fast enough, and Bianca tackled him to the ground. (Y/N) knew she didn’t have the right kind of bullets to do any good, so she did the only thing she could think to do. She ran up to the pair and tackled Bianca off of Sam. On instinct, she tried to get Bianca on her stomach so she could cuff her, but Bianca was way stronger than she expected. She rolled them over so Bianca was on top, and she let out a growl that made (Y/N)’s stomach turn.

Pain seared through her shoulder and bicep when Bianca dug her claws into her skin. She let out a scream and squeezed her eyes shut. A shot rang out, and Bianca’s body fell off (Y/N). She winced and tried to catch her breath. One look down at her arm had her closing her eyes again. “Shit,” she whispered. “Shit, shit, shit.”

“Hey, hey,” Sam said, rushing over to her side. “You’re okay.”

“Did she bite me?” she asked. “Oh my god, can’t you turn into a werewolf from a bite? Oh my god. I don't want to-”

“No, no, hey, you’re good,” Sam said. It almost looked to (Y/N) like he wanted to laugh. “There’s no bite. It’s just a bad scratch. You’ll be okay.”

“Wow,” she breathed out. “This is the craziest day of my whole life.” She looked up at Sam, and he smiled and helped her sit up. “And you do this everyday?”

“We have some days off,” he said. She laughed, then winced at the pain. Jody and Dean jogged over to them. “Can you patch her up at your place?” Sam asked.

“No,” (Y/N) said. “You have to take me to a real hospital. My team’ll get suspicious if Jody does it.”

“What are you going to say?” Dean asked.

“That the unsub was crazy,” she said. “She had some claw-like weapon and that was what she used to rip the hearts out.”

“What happened to the weapon?” Sam asked hypothetically.

“I took it in as evidence,” Jody said. “The team doesn’t need to see it.”

“Glad we got our story straight,” (Y/N) said. “Can I go get stitches now?”

(Y/N) was in and out of surgery rather quickly. The team visited her in the hospital room, even though she knew she’d be released pretty quickly. “Guys, seriously,” she laughed, “I’m fine. Hell, I can meet you back at Quantico.”

“We’re not leaving you in South Dakota,” Morgan said. “We can stick around.”

“There’s not a lot to do in Sioux Falls,” she argued.

“Hey now,” Jody said, suddenly coming into the room, “if memory serves me, you found a lot of things to do when you grew up around here.”

“You knew (Y/N) when she was a kid?” Prentiss asked.

“Oh yeah,” Jody said with a smile.

“I have a lot of questions for you,” Morgan asked with a grin.

“You guys are the worst,” (Y/N) said. There was a soft knock at the frame of the door to (Y/N)’s hospital room, and everyone turned to look and found Sam and Dean. (Y/N)’s eyes grew wide.

If those idiots get busted-

“Hey,” Sam said. “Uh, I just, we just wanted to bring you these.” He handed her a bouquet of flowers, and she felt her cheeks turn warm as everyone looked at her.

“Thank you,” she said. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“No, uh, I know,” Sam said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I just-”

There were a lot more people in the room than he expected there to be.

JJ cleared her throat. “(Y/N), we’ll be in the waiting room,” she said.

“Uh, no we won’t,” Morgan said. JJ rolled her eyes at him and grabbed his arm, dragging him out of the room along with the rest of the team. Jody and Dean must’ve followed, because (Y/N) and Sam were soon alone.

“You seriously didn’t have to bring the flowers,” she told him again.

“No, I know,” he said again. “I just know seeing monsters for the first time can be a lot to handle, not to mention getting attacked by one.”

“When did you see your first monster?” she asked him. He chuckled dryly and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I guess I was six months old,” he said.

“Jesus,” she said. “Do you remember it?” He gave a sad smile.

“I don’t think I’ll ever forget it,” he said.

“So you’ve been hunting your whole life?” she asked.

“Pretty much,” he said. “It’s kind of the family business.”

She nodded. “Do you like it?”

Sam scoffed. “It varies day to day.” He paused. “What about you? You like the BAU?”

She mimicked Sam’s scoff. “It varies day to day.”

“How about today?” he asked.

She smiled. “It’s not so bad.”

“Well, for the record,” he said, “if it ever gets old, you tackled a werewolf today. I think you could easily make it as a hunter.”

“Yeah?” she said. “Good to know.” Sam smiled again and cleared his throat.

“Alright,” he said. “Well, if you ever find yourself on a monster hunt again, give us a call.” He started to turn away, but (Y/N) said his name again.

“You know I read people for a living,” she said. Sam raised his eyebrows. “If you want to kiss me so bad, why don’t you just do it?” Sam’s face raised into a smirk, and he took one step back over to her. He leaned over and kissed her lips softly. She laid her hand on his cheek and smiled, kissing him back. When he pulled away, he hung his head with a slight laugh.

“You’re a pretty good profiler,” he said.

She smiled. “I know.”

(Y/N) bid farewell to Jody the next day, taking a rain check on dinner and promising to visit Sioux Falls again sooner rather than later. On the plane back to Quantico, everyone was pretty quiet, keeping to themselves. Suddenly, Gideon sat in front of (Y/N). “Flowers, huh?” he said. (Y/N) smiled, embarrassed, and looked at the bouquet Sam had given her that she decided to bring back with her. “You know,” he continued, “something about those boys wasn’t sitting right with me. I couldn’t shake the name. Winchester. Why did I know that name?”

Her heart fell to her stomach.

“Sir-”

“Then I realized,” he said, “it must just be those Winchester rifles.”

But (Y/N) was a profiler, and she could see through him. He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees and folding his hands.

“I don’t know what happened when you went off with Sheriff Mills,” he said, “but I do know you weren’t alone.” She swallowed nervously. “I also know you came back in one piece,” he continued. He hesitated, looked out the window, then looked at her again. “I also know that some files in the system have inexplicably vanished. So if anyone looks up Winchester, all they’ll find is some history on those rifles.”

Her lips parted slightly, comprehending what he said. “Thank you,” she whispered. Gideon gave her a fraction of a smile.

“For what?”

“Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win” - Stephen King

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#sam winchester #sam winchester imagine #sam winchester x reader #supernatural #sam winchester fluff #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #supernatural x criminal minds

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the-lost-media-blog · 4 years ago

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Deleted scenes and all that jazz!

Today, I’ll going over scenes that were cut from movies/shows/even comic for reasons and if they’ve been found or not. This won’t be as detailed as my Saki post was, mainly because there’s a lot of ground to cover, but I still hope that you enjoy!

****

‘Land Before Time’ & ‘All Dogs Go To Heaven’

I placed these two together because: A) both are made by Don Bluth and B) the main reason for why most of them were cut was for being ‘dark’.

Let’s start will ‘All Dogs Go To Heaven’, as that list is shorter than ‘Land Before Time’s list.

‘All Dogs Go To Heaven’ has one found scene while the other is still lost.

The found scene is Charlie (the main lead, German Shepherd) having a Nightmare of him in Hell! With the devil, little demons biting at Charlie, and a river of straight up blood!

Any ways, the scene was originally slightly longer than what ended up in the theatrical cut of the film, but it got the cut to avoid getting PG rating (back when it meant something) and stick with a G. This scene has been found, and has been edited with clips from the theatrical scene into one clip, and the link to that scene is below, though the added in sections are of lower quality as they were recorded on something else: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gr7khtV7GAs

The completely lost scene is a scene of Charlie getting RUN OVER WITH A CAR. (insert failing gif I entered above here).

The original scene showed the action happening, as opposed to just showing the aftermath. People thought it was found back in August of 2020, but that was found to be a hoax in October of the same year.

Don Bluth is the only one with the extended cut of the film, and it’s on him on whether or not it gets shown to the public eye.

Now ‘Land Before Time’ has a ton of scenes cut! One of which could have been Little Foot (main character, dinosaur)’s dying, the extension of the fight scene is cut though. Fun Fact with that, they had to get Child Psychologists to watch that scene as to what they should do with it, and that screening is what lead to the narrator and the character named Rooter to be added.

The actual cut scenes include an extended chase scene with the Sharptooth, an extended intro to Spike, dinos not sharing their food with the young heroes, an added scene, a travel montage, and a lot more but there’s a ton!

The studio was responsible for the reason why 11 whole minutes were cut from the film. They were so worried about scaring/traumatizing the children who would watch the film with their parents.

At this moment, only the cells of the scenes have been found which is a shame because some people got all up in arms about making children scared. But in my humble opinion, fuck them kids. Make your movie the way you want to!

CURRENT STATUS: ‘All Dogs’; Partially found ‘Land Before Time’; Mostly lost

***

‘A Death In The Family’- Robin Lives ending

Some context for this is, back in the late 80′s there was a Robin named Jason Todd whom was hated by some fans, he did have his own, but not as much as Dick. I’m not sure of the exact reasons, maybe it’s because Jason wasn’t the much beloved Dick Grayson.

Regardless of the reasons why Jason was so hated, DC made the move to set up two call numbers for fans to call in and vote. One number for Jason to live, the other number to let him die; end of the day it was a publicity stunt that ended with Jason being sweet, sweet worm food. There also a rumor or something that someone called multiple times just to kill Jason. But in the words of John Mulaney:

Before the call-in poll ended DC wrote up the endings, and the ‘Robin Lives’ ending got some-what done before the ‘Jason Dies’ ending won by 72 votes. Only one page got finished (from what I can find) meanwhile the others are uncompleted, but here’s a look at what could’ve been:

CURRENT STAUTS: Partially found

***

Admittedly, there’s a lot that could go wrong when it comes to Television. Lost Episodes, Missing Pilots, lost audio and dubs. But, this is on Deleted Scenes, so lets just go with SpongeBob as the little yellow guy has a fair amount.

SpongeBob SquarePants deleted scenes

There are some edits made that cut lines and scenes. But I’ll go over 5 here today, one of which is a fake ‘deleted scene’.

An example is that on the first airing of the episode ‘Shanghaied’ there was a poll done to show which character (Squidward, SpongeBob, and Patrick) gets a wish from the Flying Dutchman. The first airing showed the endings that lost before the one that won; now when that episode airs it just displays the winning ending. But you can find that segment on YouTube to see the other endings.

‘Just One Bite’ had a scene where Squidward breaks into the Krusty Krab for a krabby patty, but at the front door there’s a bucket of gasoline which falls and then gets lit by a match causing a fire; in 2002 that bit was cut and you just get a zoom-in on the krabby patty vault. Now there’s a rumor that the scene was cut due to 9/11 (even though the episode was aired on October 5th), but the real reason is so kids don’t get the idea to mix gasoline and matches, you know like idiots! Here’s some screen shots of the scene and a link to the video I got these from:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1Bu6yp-aaA

But those all examples of confirmed edits, here’s a list of unconfirmed edits.

In ‘Clams’ the name of the lipstick SpongeBob wore was changed slightly to say "Actually, it's Coral Blue Lipstick number 3" instead of "Actually, it's Coral Blue Lipstick number 4". Why this was changed I have no clue.

In ‘The Fry Cook Games’ the end shot was changed from them holding hand to them holding shoulders, the reason I found was to remove hint of homosexuality to avoid controversy. Which is odd, because that’s not the worse thing that could be shown on TV, because ‘Shanghaied’ was aired earlier that year (both versions) in March, and that episode ends with the thought that the Flying Dutchman was going to eat the characters, also handholding is something that is normal for people to do, especially friends.

There’s rumors that ‘I Was A Teenage Gary’ had a transformation scene with Squidward near the end before the cut to the fence moonlight meowing ending. The reason this rumor exists is because the transition is a simple wipe effect without the traditional bubble wipe. Some say that it could be seen in a different country, that I forgot the name of, unaltered. But it’s been debunked by someone uploading the premiere of that episode onto YouTube and there was no transformation.

CURRENT STATUS Partially found

#lost media #deleted scene #pieces of lost media #movies #comics #tv series #batman mention #animation

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suckitsurveys · 4 years ago

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What battery percentage is your phone on right now? It’s at 75%. Do any medical afflictions run in your family? Yeah. Who did you last talk to in person and what did you say? My husband. We said goodnight to each other last night. What’s your favourite Mexican dish? I know it’s basic but ya bitch loves a good taco. Tostadas are also yummy but they don’t travel well so I haven’t had one in a while. OH and guacamole and salsa! Have you ever been to a professional sports game? Yes, several Cubs games, a few Blackhawks games, and a couple Bulls games.

How far do you live from New York City? About 800 miles west. How often do you talk to your parents? At least 4-5 times a week. What was the weather like in your town today? It’s 66 F right now. Are there any phrases or words that you say a lot? Of course.

How many boyfriends or girlfriends have you ever had? A few. They’re all irrelevant now except for my husband. Have you ever ordered a specially made cake from a cake shop? Yes. What’s the name of your first real boyfriend or girlfriend? Irrelevant. Do you clean your ears daily? Not daily. What accent do you have? Chicago/Midwest. What scent of air freshener do you keep in your bathroom? We have a coconut one right now. Have you ever dated a model? Lol. What’s the best job you’ve ever had? This one. How about the worst? Party City. Do you have naturally straight hair? It’s gotten a little wavy over the past year actually. What is your ultimate goal in life? To get my health better managed and to be the best Auntie to my nieces. Have you ever visited someone in prison? No. What months were you and your siblings born in? I was born in September and my sister was born in July. Do you write down your passwords in a physical place to prevent losing them? No. What are your three favourite vegetables? Zucchini, Asparagus, Potatoes. How many times a day do you check Facebook or any other social network? A few times. When was the last time you had a blocked nose? A couple weeks ago. Who is your favourite comedian? John Mulaney and Stella. What colour are the socks you’re wearing today? I’m not. What did you have for dinner last night? Pizza and fried zuchini. What was the last concert you went to? Vampire Weekend in October 2019 in SLC. Are you an ugly crier? Idk, probably? Are any of us cute when we cry? What scent is the soap or body wash you use in the shower? Right now we have an ocean breeze scented one. Have you ever had sex in/on a vehicle? Yes. Who do you live with? My husband and our three cats. What letter does your street name begin with? W Do you do anything to groom your eyebrows? I tweeze them. When was the last time you ate at McDonald’s? Yesterday. I was craving fries and a root beer and grabbed some. What’s your favourite Popsicle flavour? Cherry or watermelon. Who was the last person you sent a Facebook message to and what did you say? I sent Mark a meme. Do you have any injuries at the moment? Not really. Have you ever been to an ophthalmologist? I don’t think so. Do you own any animal print clothes? Yeah. Are you tall, short or average? Would you change this? I’m short and no. When was the last time you went to a drug store/pharmacy? There’s a pharmacy inside my grocery store. I was there yesterday. As for a stand-alone one, that was back in April when I got my second dose of the Covid shot. Do you ever binge-watch TV shows? Yeah. Have you ever mustered up the courage to tell someone how you feel only to be rejected? No. Do you keep your files and documents organised in one place? Eh, yes and no. What’s your favourite sweet treat to bake? Box brownies, lol. Though last Thanksgiving I made a pumpkin pie that turned out amazing. That was fun. Are you good at flirting and letting people know you’re interested? No. What did you have for breakfast today? I haven’t had breakfast. It’s almost lunch time so I’m just gunna hold out. Do you prefer sweet or savoury breakfasts? Either. I don’t often do big breakfasts, so. Do you like chick-flicks? Sure. Have you ever taken an acting class? Not really. I was in an improve group in grade school after school for a bit. And in one play in high school. When was the last time you watched one of your favourite movies? It’s been a while. How often do you use Youtube? Everyday. I watch a lot of YouTube. What’s the coolest thing you’ve ever dressed up as for Halloween? I dressed up as Nyan Cat one year and that was amazing. And my Princess Carolyn (from BoJack) costume is one of my favorites as well. And last year was LSP from Adventure time and that turned out really cool too. I made all of them from scratch. Are you ignoring anyone right now? Nah. How do you usually style your hair? It’s either down or in a bun, for the most part. Do you have any tattoos? Tell me about them. I have 9 and I don’t feel like explaining them all. Have you ever worked in a store while someone shoplifted there? Sure. When was the last time you used a stove? The other day. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to eat? Veal. Are you sitting, standing or laying (or something else) right now? I’m sitting. How many hours per week do you typically work? 40. What was the last pill or tablet you took? An Alieve the other day. How far away from your house is the closest grocery store? Less than two minutes. Have you ever lived in university/college campus housing? Nope. Who was the last person you complimented? My friend Sarah. Are you the type of person to take naps, even if you’ve slept plenty? Lol “slept plenty.” Do you have a crush on anyone at the moment? My husband. And Will Arnett. The age old question: dogs or cats? CATS. When was the last time you saw your best friend? I can see my husband right now. I saw Sarah in January of 2020, Ellen in October of 2019, and Randal sometime in March or April, I can’t remember. Have you ever been fired from a job? Why? No. Are you tired right now? Always. Do you like spring rolls? Sure. What do you live on in terms of a street, road, crescent, place, court etc? Avenue. How many purses or handbags do you own? Several. Do you get along with all your aunts and uncles? I have no living aunts or uncles. I have a couple great-aunts but they are elderly and we rarely talk. Have you ever eavesdropped and heard something you didn’t want to hear? Sure. When was the last time you used a pen, pencil or marker? A little bit ago. I have this coloring book I keep near me while I’m working and I just randomly fill in little shapes while I’m waiting for something to load. What’s your favourite type of curry? Massaman curry, which is a coconut based curry. Do you often go to do or say something and then just forget? Ugh, I hate that. Have you ever had casual sex? Uh huh. What was the last thing you paid for with cash? My nails. What’s the last letter of your middle name? A. If your phone rang right now from a number you don’t know, would you answer? Nope. How long is your hair? A little past my shoulders. What was your first pet’s name and how did you pick that? We had two blue parakeets that were my 2nd grade class pets. My teacher asked my mom to take them for the summer and then asked us if we wanted to keep them because the school didn’t allow class pets anymore. Anyway, our class voted and named them Featherbrain and Lucky. Do you drink diet or regular soda? If I am gunna drink soda, I’m drinking regular. Have you ever been to Europe? No. Do you worry about your own health? Sure. Who did you last make plans with, and what plans did you make? Randal and I were talking about going to the zoo or aquarium soon. Nothing set in stone yet. Can you smell anything right now? Not really. How old were you when you got your first cell phone? I was 15. When was the last time you bought a pair of shoes? It’s been a bit. Mark and I are planning on getting some slides soon. Do you like fruit and vegetable combo juices? Yeah. Have you ever been on a spring break trip? Sure. Would you rather be warmer or colder right now? I’m fine at the moment. How tall are your highest heels? I don’t wear heels. What’s your favourite flavour of frosting? Cream cheese. When did you wake up today? Around 7. Do you change your appearance often? No. What colour are the street signs in your town/suburb? Green. How many people do you work with? 10. What was the last thing you ate? Pizza. Do you have any plans for three hours in the future? Still be working. Has anyone ever made a comment about your weight that offended or upset you? Uh huh.

#surveys

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dinosaurs-last-day · 4 years ago

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Yeah I spent the whole Sunday playing Zelda xD How was your Sunday? And today?❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤❤️🧡

Oh, I spent most of it playing Hades! I also watched some John Mulaney and then stayed up late to watch a show called Firefly with my parents.

#sorry i didn't answer earlier i was in a class #it was a chill weekend #ask #anon #anonymous #remy replies #heart anon #thanks for the ask!

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babbushka · 4 years ago

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I’m doing okay thank you! ☺️ I worked today and got to see kids in the mall in costumes which was v cute and my little goth heart almost burst I think LOL Now I’m just going to watch a movie until SNL to see King Mulaney 😍 Are you going to watch SNL? I am totally with you on the vampire vs. werewolf thing, I am also total vampire 10000%!!

FUCK I TOTALLY FORGOT JOHN WAS HOSTING TONIGHT!! Thank you so much for reminding me, omg! I’m going to have to watch the episode tomorrow but damn that’ll be so much fun

Kids dressed up in any sort of holiday attire makes my heart 10 times bigger lol were there any clever or particularly cool costumes this year? You can always tell when they’ve got parents with a sense of humor :)

#also mood maybe because im a diehard twilight bitch but its team vampire or bust tbh lol #artsymaddie #cowboy answers

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zigtheeortega · 5 years ago

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day 6: pets | ethan/bryce x mc

pairing: ethan x mc & bryce x mc

@choicesfebruarychallenge | @bi-cookie ; @cxld-play

word count: 1,712

author’s note: this fluffy fic was inspired by the john mulaney bit where he jokes about american politics and compares it to a “horse being loose in the hospital”. i took it literally! hope you enjoy - i still think it might be a dumb idea but i’m hope it makes you laugh!

Spencer’s phone buzzed in her scrubs pocket, taking her out of the intense reading she was doing on Ms. Martinez’s file.

EMERGENCY. MEET AT THE SIDE ENTRANCE OF THE BUILDING. BE SNEAKY. Sienna’s text in the group chat came as a shock to Spencer. She’d never seen a message quite that serious from Sienna before.

She power walked down the hallway, trying to make it to the elevator unnoticed. Just as the doors opened, Dr. Ramsey rounded the corner.

She stepped in calmly, then mashed buttons as soon as she was safe. “C’mon, c’mon close,” she muttered to herself, clicking the close door button repeatedly.

“Hold the door, rookie,” he called, and they locked eyes through the slit of the closing doors.

“Sorry,” she mouthed, tapping her watch and shrugging.

His eyes narrowed, but before he could say anything, the elevator’s numbers lowered, quickly bringing Spencer to the first floor.

She blew air out of her cheeks. Avoiding Dr. Ramsey since the night they’d nearly had sex at the convention had been hard, but worth it for Spencer’s sanity. She couldn’t take much more of the “will they, won’t they” sexual tension between them.

The doors opened, and she snuck out the side door, almost running into the back of Elijah’s wheelchair.

The whole group was assembled, talking in hushed voices.

“What’s wrong? I came as fast as I could,” Spencer panted, eyes darting between her friends’ concerned faces.

“We have a huge problem,” Sienna frowned.

“Okay, bring me up to speed. What can I do to help?” She said, already putting her game face on, ready to rack her brain to help Sienna diagnose a patient.

“There’s a dog loose in the hospital,” Sienna grimaced.

She squinted her eyes, confused. “Is this a prank? I really don’t know if I’m in the mood to joke around, guys.”

“Unfortunately, Sienna isn’t lying. I saw the dog when his owner brought him in,” Jackie said, her arms crossed firmly across her chest.

“You’re telling me a service dog is roaming around, not listening to his owner? Did they lie about him being a service dog?” Spencer wondered aloud, trying to piece the story together.

“No, he’s definitely certified,” Elijah said, shrugging. “I asked to pet him and his owner’s mom declined. She said he was working.”

“I guess she knew taking his vest off wasn’t a great idea,” Landry added, eyeing Sienna.

The door behind them opened, revealing Bryce. “Thanks for including me. This is the most action I’ve gotten all week. Appendectomies just weren’t cutting it today,” he grinned.

“Okay one, weak, and two, thanks for finally joining us,” Jackie rolled her eyes.

“I can’t help that I’m not in your roomie group message,” Bryce shrugged.

“Can we get back to the story, please?” Sienna asked quietly, worry written across her features.

“Okay, so you took the vest off the dog, he thought he clocked out, and he’s just doing what a normal dog would do?” Spencer said, rotating her wrist so that Sienna knew to speed it up.

“I’m not that careless, Spencer. His owner is here for a routine checkup for her epilepsy. He was looking kind of sad while I was going through her chart with her mom, so when they went back for an MRI I thought it’d be a good idea to let him be free for a few minutes,” she said, regret written on her features.

Spencer’s look of disapproval prompted her to continue. “I know it was so dumb of me. I didn’t see him as a service dog on duty, just a sad pet that wanted to take a break and play. I need everyone’s help to find him.”

“Where’d you lose him?” Bryce asked.

“Well, I was near the construction… you don’t suppose he managed to go back there or down the stairs?”

“Let’s hope not,” Landry said nervously, wringing his hands in front of him.

“Okay, we’ll split up in pairs to look for him. It’ll definitely be quicker that way,” Spencer said.

“Elijah and I will check the ER,” Landry volunteered, already heading towards the door, Elijah tailing him.

“Jackie? Sienna? You okay with taking the next couple of floors while Bryce and I look through the labs, the construction, and any other restricted areas?” Spencer asked.

“You got it, boss,” Jackie smirked, walking inside.

“I guess it’s just you and me,” Bryce smiled, his hand on the small of her back, coaxing her towards the door.

----

“Goddammit, where is that dog?” Spencer muttered, frustration creeping into her voice.

“Hey, if you look on the bright side, we’re kind of like Mystery Inc. and we’re looking for Scooby Doo,” Bryce said, as you both jogged down the hallway, peering into the labs.

“What, did you say that because you want me to say you’re Fred?” She laughed, glancing back at Bryce’s smirk.

“And you’re my Daphne,” he said before checking the largest lab on that floor.

“I’m definitely not Daphne. Sienna is more of a Daphne-type than I am,” Spencer smiled, running into the elevator. “I’m definitely Velma.”

“I guess that makes me Shaggy, huh?” He said into your ear, and you became acutely aware of the heat from his body.

“So who’s Fred now?” She said, pushing a numbered button to head towards the wing under construction.

“Elijah, hands down,” Bryce chuckled, his arm propped up on the bar on the wall of the elevator, his skin grazing her scrubs.

“What about Landry and Jackie?” She said, glancing at his face, so close to her own.

“Probably the people they unmask at the end. They’re too competitive to have everyone’s best interests in mind,” he shrugged.

“Awe, that’s no fair. I wouldn’t guess a scalpel jockey would understand our competition,” she teased, turning to place a soft kiss on his jaw.

He leaned in with his eyes closed, but Spencer put a finger on his lips. “We’re getting distracted. We gotta find this dog first.”

“What’s its name anyways?” He said, stepping out into the hallway as the doors opened.

“Huh, good question. I’ll ask,” she said, typing a quick text to Sienna.

She replied immediately. I don’t know. I know she said it, but I was so focused on the patient’s charts and the mom being so stern I forgot.

“Sienna doesn’t know the dog’s name,” she said to Bryce, and he shrugged.

They slipped into the construction side unnoticed, eyes scanning the hallway. Spencer already had a distraction ready in case he wanted to check the rooms and stumbled across Naveen.

“Here, boy,” Bryce called repeatedly, making kissing noises.

“I don’t know if that’s going to work. He should only respond to his name, right?” Spencer mused.

The golden retriever bounded around the corner before they scan the rooms, mouth open, tongue hanging out the side of his mouth.

Bryce eyed her up and down. “I told you so.”

He ran to meet the dog, and fell on the ground, cuddling the wiggling ball of fur as he happily lapped the side of Bryce’s face. “Hey, boy, awe, you’re so good,” he laughed, scritching behind his ears.

Spencer enjoyed the sight of the hot surgeon and cute dog playing for a few more seconds before texting the group.

“Okay, so Sienna’s going to meet us with his vest, and we’re sneaking him back into the waiting room on this floor. The mom should be showing up there soon since they’re almost done with her brain scans.” She shoved the phone back in her pocket.

Bryce laid on the ground, spooning him and completely ignoring her. He hugged the dog to his chest, kissing his head.

“This is really cute, Bryce, don’t get me wrong, but we have to bring him back right now,” she said, extending a hand to him.

He grabbed it, and pulled her down on top of him. “Bryce! We have to go –”

He pressed his lips to hers, cutting her off. She sighed contentedly against his lips.

She knew she was falling for Dr. Ramsey, but she couldn’t see him defying the rules to be with her. Even if she was just fooling around with him and didn’t plan on anything serious coming from it – regardless, Bryce made her feel good.

Things were much more simple with him than with Ethan.

She pulled back, and he gazed at her, smirking. “You have to admit that was smooth.”

“Alright, if it’ll get you to get up any faster, then yes.”

They stood up, walking with the dog towards the entrance. Sienna burst through the clear tarp, followed by the rest of the gang.

“Hi doggy! We’re gonna get you back to your owner now. Please don’t tell them about this,” she whispered to him, clasping the buckle on his side, fastening the vest to him.

“Okay, now if that’s over, I’m gonna get back to my patients,” Jackie said, and stalked off without another word.

“Me too,” Landry said nervous, scuttling away.

“I’m happy Horse is back safe. Hopefully they haven’t noticed –” Elijah said, but Spencer and Bryce were quick to cut him off.

“His name is Horse?” Bryce asked.

“You’re telling me there was a Horse loose in the hospital?” Spencer asked.

“That’s what his name was! I remembered it being weird, but I forgot it was the name of another animal,” Sienna said, smacking the side of her head with the palm of her hand.

“Is there a story behind it or something?” Spencer was dumbfounded, and Bryce couldn’t stop laughing at the situation. HIs laughter was infectious, and before she knew it, she was doubled over, and Elijah and Sienna followed soon after.

When they caught their breath, Elijah explained.

“She named him when she was young, before the seizures started. Her parents sent him off to be trained as a support animal so they wouldn’t have to get another dog.”

“On that note, I’m gonna head back to my patients.” Spencer headed off, waving at her friends.

She knew that she couldn’t avoid Dr. Ramsey for much longer, and the situation stressed her out to no end; Regardless of it all, she still had the ability to laugh, so she knew she was going to be okay.

----

#choicesfebruarychallenge #open heart #bryce lahela #ethan ramsey #playchoices #jade writes choices fics

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years ago

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1005.

What battery percentage is your phone on right now? >> 93%.

Do any medical afflictions run in your family? >> I have no idea what I’m genetically predisposed to.

Who did you last talk to in person and what did you say? >> Sparrow. I don’t remember, it was just a casual interaction.

What's your favourite Mexican dish? >> That’s tough. I do like quesadillas a lot, but ultimately there are hardly any Mexican foods that I would say no to.

Have you ever been to a professional sports game? >> No.

How far do you live from New York City? >> A few hundred miles.

How often do you talk to your parents? >> I don’t.

Do you prefer pads, tampons or something else? >> I prefer to never have a period ever again, if I can help it.

What was the weather like in your town today? >> Mild and sunny.

Are there any phrases or words that you say a lot? >> I mean, probably, but the thing is, I can never remember what they are when asked. If I say something a lot, it becomes unremarkable and not worth remembering.

How many boyfriends or girlfriends have you ever had? >> Too many.

Have you ever ordered a specially made cake from a cake shop? >> Does a wedding cake count?

What was the last movie you saw and who did you watch it with? >> Vampires vs the Bronx. I watched it by myself.

What's the name of your first real boyfriend or girlfriend? >> Meh.

Do you clean your ears daily? >> Not daily.

What accent do you have? >> I assume it’s a generic American anchorman type accent.

What scent of air freshener do you keep in your bathroom? >> Why would I keep an air freshener in the bathroom? The last thing bathrooms need are more smells.

Have you ever dated a model? >> No.

What's the best job you've ever had? >> Selling merch for local bands at their shows.

How about the worst? >> The other jobs I’ve had.

Do you have naturally straight hair? >> Not at all.

What is your ultimate goal in life? >> ---

Have you ever visited someone in prison? >> No.

What months were you and your siblings born in? >> I was born in May.

Do you write down your passwords in a physical place to prevent losing them? >> No, I use a sort of algorithm for my passwords, so while they are always different for every site, I can still figure out what it is.

What are your three favourite vegetables? >> Oh, damn. Can I just lump “leafy greens” in as all one type of vegetable? Gonna cheat and do it anyway. Greens, carrots, tomatoes.

How many times a day do you check Facebook or any other social network? >> I check facebook like 3 times a week.

When was the last time you had a blockednose? >> I don’t remember.

Who is your favourite comedian? >> Dylan Moran, Tiffany Haddish, John Mulaney, Bo Burnham.

What colour are the socks you're wearing today? >> I wore black socks with a space print when I went out earlier today.

What did you have for dinner last night? >> Just some sweet potato fries.

What was the last concert you went to? >> Er... I think that was Hozier.

Are you an ugly crier? >> As self-conscious as I already am about having emotions in a visible manner, the last thing I want to do is call myself ugly about it too. Christ.

What scent is the soap or body wash you use in the shower? >> I don’t remember what the scent of the soap I currently have is supposed to be.

Have you ever had sex in/on a vehicle? >> Once outworld, at least twice Inworld.

Who do you live with? >> My spouse.

What letter does your street name begin with? >> W.

Do you do anything to groom your eyebrows? >> Nope.

When was the last time you ate at McDonald's? >> It’s definitely been a while.

What's your favourite Popsicle flavour? >> I never was a popsicle person until we started going to the farmer’s market and got hooked on this one lady’s homemade popsicles. She uses fresh fruit and makes the best flavour combinations. Right now I’m fantasising about one called “London Fog” which is earl grey, coconut milk, and lavender. It’s the most luscious shade of purplish-grey, too.

Who was the last person you sent a Facebook message to and what did you say? >> Casey, I think. It was a short discussion about the SSI approval process.

Do you have any injuries at the moment? >> No.

Have you ever been to an ophthalmologist? >> No.

Do you own any animal print clothes? >> Nope.

Are you tall, short or average? Would you change this? >> Average, I assume. I don’t care to change it, my height is one of the few things about my body that has never bothered me.

When was the last time you went to a drug store/pharmacy? >> I don’t remember. We’ll have to go to one soon, to get flu shots. Hopefully this weekend.

Do you ever binge-watch TV shows? >> Not really. I used to, but nowadays I get restless after two episodes (or three or so, if it’s a 20-minute show as opposed to a 45-minute or hour).

Have you ever mustered up the courage to tell someone how you feel only to be rejected? >> I mean, I guess. I’ve made overtures towards people that were rebuffed, but not necessarily in a way that felt... particularly rejecting, I guess? Either they were particularly tactful or I just didn’t take it as hard as I could have.

Do you keep your files and documents organised in one place? >> Yeah. I only have a few, anyway.

What's your favourite sweet treat to bake? >> ---

Are you good at flirting and letting people know you're interested? >> ---

What did you have for breakfast today? >> The same thing I have every day.

Do you prefer sweet or savoury breakfasts? >> Savoury only. If there’s sweet stuff involved, like french toast with syrup, it has to be paired with something savoury or I won’t eat it.

Do you like chick-flicks? >> Generally not, I guess. But there’s always exceptions; I love Legally Blonde, for example.

Have you ever taken an acting class? >> No.

What is your favourite kind of berry? >> This is tough. I really don’t want to choose, but I guess if I had to, I’d pick strawberry.

When was the last time you watched one of your favourite movies? >> A while ago, I guess.

How often do you use Youtube? >> I use it fairly often while playing FFXIV because I look up dungeon guides and class guides. Other than that, I watch it maybe once a week or so, to catch up with channels I’m subscribed to or watch things I’ve saved or heard about.

Do you prefer Prince or Michael Jackson? >> I don’t listen to either, but I guess I’d rather listen to MJ than Prince.

What's the coolest thing you've ever dressed up as for Halloween? >> I’ve never dressed up for Halloween.

Are you ignoring anyone right now? >> No.

How do you usually style your hair? >> I don’t.

Do you have any tattoos? Tell me about them. >> Yeah. I feel like I’ve explained them a million times, but the short version is: Mannaz rune, the number XIX with a spider dangling from the I, and “scully, it’s me” which is an obvious X-Files reference (especially if you see Sparrow’s “mulder, it’s me” at the same time).

Have you ever worked in a store while someone shoplifted there? >> No.

When was the last time you used a stove? >> I don’t usually use the stove, so I don’t remember. Probably the last time I made tea.

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to eat? >> Of course.

Are you sitting, standing or laying (or something else) right now? >> Reclining.

How many hours per week do you typically work? >> ---

What was the last pill or tablet you took? >> A CBD capsule.

How far away from your house is the closest grocery store? >> Meijer is about a five- to ten-minute drive away.

Have you ever lived in university/college campus housing? >> No.

Who was the last person you complimented? >> I told someone I liked their glamour (outfit) on FFXIV.

Are you the type of person to take naps, even if you've slept plenty? >> I don’t usually take naps. The only time I do so is when it’s completely unavoidable, like I’m falling asleep at the keyboard.

Do you have a crush on anyone at the moment? >> No.

The age old question: dogs or cats? >> I prefer dogs.

When was the last time you saw your best friend? >> ---

Do you know any couples who resemble each other? >> No.

Have you ever been fired from a job? Why? >> No.

Are you tired right now? >> Not particularly, but it is getting close to my bedtime so I probably will be soon.

Do you like spring rolls? >> I do!

What do you live on in terms of a street, road, crescent, place, court etc? >> Drive.

How many purses or handbags do you own? >> I have a holster type bag, if that counts.

Do you get along with all your aunts and uncles? >> ---

Have you ever eavesdropped and heard something you didn't want to hear? >> Yeah, that happened all the time when I was a child. I had this weird self-destructive habit of listening in on my guardians’ conversations about me, which were almost always on the negative side. I don’t know why I didn’t just... stop eavesdropping. I had to know I wasn’t ever going to hear anything good. So I call it “self-destructive” because, like, why else was I doing it if not to just punish myself?

When was the last time you used a pen, pencil or marker? >> A few hours ago, adding something new to my FFXIV daily-to-do list.

What's your favourite type of curry? >> I have no idea.

Do you often go to do or say something and then just forget? >> Yeah.

Who makes you laugh the hardest? >> I don’t know, man.

Have you ever had casual sex? >> Unfortunately.

What was the last thing you paid for with cash? >> Admission to the Meijer Gardens.

What's the last letter of your middle name? >> W.

If your phone rang right now from a number you don't know, would you answer? >> I never answer my phone.

How long is your hair? >> Like... one centimeter.

What was your first pet's name and how did you pick that? >> Roxie. I think my father chose it, idk.

Do you drink diet or regular soda? >> I don’t drink soda most of the time, but when I do, it’s always regular.

Have you ever been to Europe? >> No.

Do you worry about your own health? >> I mean, sometimes. Not obsessively or anything.

Who did you last make plans with, and what plans did you make? >> ---

Can you smell anything right now? >> Not really.

How old were you when you got your first cell phone? >> Seventeen.

When was the last time you bought a pair of shoes? >> Around this time last year, probably? Or maybe a little earlier, idr.

Do you like fruit and vegetable combo juices? >> Depends on exactly what fruits and vegetables are involved.

Have you ever been on a spring break trip? >> No.

Would you rather be warmer or colder right now? >> I’m at the perfect temperature right now.

How tall are your highest heels? >> ---

What's your favourite flavour of frosting? >> ---

When did you wake up today? >> Around 7.30, I think. Or maybe earlier. I don’t remember.

Do you change your appearance often? >> No. There’s really nothing to change.

What colour are the street signs in your town/suburb? >> Green, I think.

Have you ever blocked someone on Facebook? Why? >> Probably, a long time ago. Because they were annoying, I’d assume.

How many people do you work with? >> ---

What was the last thing you ate? >> Half a lemon coconut cookie.

Do you have any plans for three hours in the future? >> I plan to be asleep then.

Has anyone ever made a comment about your weight that offended or upset you? >> Thankfully not.

#surveys #survey #random survey #not for reblogging *glare*

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