#but i was too scared of liking women at the time even though i subconsciously liked them.

[ulquiorrapleasecallmetrash]

Let me paint a pretty pretty picture.

There I was, at the young age of 13. I was watching all 100+ episodes of bleach full episodes free on youtube. Yes, back when they had full episodes of free. Then, the first scene of Ulquiorra and yammy showed it then when this picture flashed my mind CRACKED

My first impression was literally this.

"Hm, he seems pretty cool."

Then I kept on watching him, loving him, reading fanfics, writing my fanfics (before tumblr) Hell, my first girl crush and I BONDED over this man. She was literally going to give me a book with just pictures of him. But she never finished it because she moved away while I was entering highschool.

I sometimes I wonder if she would be proud of me today.

Either way, so yeah. There you go.

@ selfshippers what was your honest first impression of your main f/o

[maurythehormonemonster]

Kinktober day two. Deepthroating - John Price // (gn! reader)

CW: spit (in mouth), cum swallowing

This was supposed to be uniforms and it did not pan out!! Anywho! Hope you enjoy! (It's also way longer than originally intended but once I start yapping it's hard to stop)

Maury’s masterlist

Bringing lunch to John on base one day because he forgot it at home, even though you reminded him sleepily before he left the house. 

  You smiled as you greeted the familiar receptionist, telling her how your idiot left his lunch on the counter. She giggled, understanding completely and sent you off into the direction of the training field. 

  As you entered the large space, there he was. All tall and handsome (as always) in his military fatigues, his hands resting in the pockets of his jacket while he shouted at the new recruits. Something about it was… Intense to say the least. The way his eyebrows knitted together and how his lips curled into a sneer as he yelled something or other at the young men and women. His muscles were visible even through his jacket, you could practically see his veins bulging from the annoyance. 

  Your footsteps were quiet on the floor as you approached him, placing a hand on his back. “John, honey.”

  He stiffened under the unwelcome touch, ready to go off.  Today was not his day. He opened his mouth to yell before he heard your sweet voice. “Jesus, darling-“ He huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You can’t sneak up on me like that, I was about to lose it.” There was no malice behind his tone, just irritation at having to deal with these poor sods all day. 

  Your hand ran up and down his spine soothingly. “Sorry, sorry. I just wanted to bring you the lunch you forgot.” You smiled, holding out the bag. “I suppose you’re busy though, I can leave it in your office if you’d prefer.” 

  John shook his head, hooking an arm around your back before barking at one of the men. “You. Go get Lieutenant Riley. Tell him I had something to attend to.” You watched the recruit all but run out of the room. Jesus Christ, he scared them badly. He patted your backside, tilting his head towards the door. “Never too busy for you.”

  Hand in hand you retreated to his office together. You watched as his hips swayed in his infamous brown pants, subconsciously squeezing his hand tighter. 

  He groaned as he sat down in his chair, rolling up the sleeves of his long sleeve shirt. You watched as he crossed his arms over his chest, his muscles threatening to rip through his shirt. “We’re doomed if those are the only recruits we have.” You couldn’t help but laugh at his words, rounding his desk to stand in front of him. “All they need is a bit of discipline.” You shrugged, running one of your hands through his hair. “Or a bullet in the shoulder.” He snorted, leaning into your touch. 

  You stepped closer, seating yourself on top of him, your legs straddling his own. His hands rested on your hips and he buried his face in your chest. “Got to retire.” He mumbled, inhaling your scent. You only rolled your eyes in response, wrapping your arms around his neck. He said that every time he had to deal with the youngins. 

  You nudged his chin up before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his lips. He closed his eyes and his hands tightened on you, pulling you closer. He was stressed and you knew exactly what would help him. 

  He pulled away after a few moments, looking up at you with a raised eyebrow. “What’s got you so needy, hm?” He mused, rubbing circles on your hips. 

  “You just look so bloody good in that outfit, Captain.” He let out an involuntary groan at your words, putting his head into the crook of your neck. You knew what would get him riled up, and calling him Captain was definitely one of them. 

  “God, darling.” He whispered, pressing kisses to your shoulder. A few simple words from you had him straining in his pants already. 

  You hummed, grabbing his hair at the base and tugging it so he would look at you. “Tell me what you want from me, Captain.” Accentuating your words by grinding down on his clothed bulge. 

  His gaze darkened and his hands moved from your hips to your ass, giving you a sharp slap. “Get on your knees.” He growled and you obeyed, whimpering at the sting before sinking off of his lap and onto your knees in between his legs. 

  You knew he was angry, and this was the perfect stress relief. Your hands ran up his thighs and to his belt, looking up at him for permission to which he only shifted in his seat and nodded. 

  You didn’t need to be told twice, you unbuckled his belt and pulled down his pants and briefs just enough for his cock to pop out, bobbing against his stomach. You practically drooled, even though you saw it all the time your reaction never changed. 

  His calloused hand gripped your hair and tugged you closer, one of his hands wrapping around his base as he brought his leaking tip to your lips, smearing his precum over them. “Get on with it.” He ordered, the way he sounded, sent a wave of heat to your core. 

  You opened your mouth and took his tip into your mouth, moaning at the way he tasted. His hand tightened in your hair as you began to bob up and down, tongue swirling around his length. 

  He waited until you got comfortable before tugging you off and bringing his hand to your chin. “Open.” He watched as you opened your mouth, leaning forwards and spitting on your tongue. 

  “You’re going to take all of me, understood?” You nodded, taking a deep breath in, and without a second thought he tugged you back onto his cock, shoving your head all the way down to his coarse hair. You gagged around him, hollowing out your cheeks. 

  The vibrations made John throw his head back, squeezing his eyes shut as he began to use your hair as leverage to push you up and down his thick cock. “That’s it, just like that, darling.” He chuffed, looking down at you. 

  Tears piled up in your lash line from the way he held you at his base, thrusting up into your throat. 

  One of your hands moved off his thigh and into your own underwear, needing release just as much as him. You screwed your eyes shut as you began touching yourself, moaning around him loudly as drool and tears ran from your face, staining his pants. 

  Your moans didn’t help at all in him trying not to cum straight away. He threw his head back, cursing under his breath as he moved your head. “Fuck, ‘m goin’ to cum, love.” He groaned, his hips stuttering. “And you’re going to swallow it, aren’t you?” It wasn’t a question more than it was a demand. 

  You nodded as best you could with the limited movement you had. Your own hand picking up its speed as you tried to bring yourself to your own orgasm. 

  His thrusts became sloppy as he pushed your head all the way back down, his warm seed spilling directly down your throat. 

  That made your own legs quiver, cumming into your underwear with a choked moan. Your brain melted away afterwards, even after he pulled you off of him and you started to catch your breath. His hand brushed against your face and you looked up at him through half lidded eyes. 

  He ran his thumb over your cheek, wiping away your tears. “Did so good for me.” His voice was softer now, no longer laced with the frustration it once held. He pulled you back onto his lap, holding you to his chest as you finally came back down to earth. You tucked your head into his shoulder, enjoying the feeling of him holding you. 

  “Maybe I should forget my lunch more often.”

[starstruckmiraclekitty]

141 + König Jealousy Headcannons

Based on a request from anon- I suck and somehow posted my drafted one yet again☹️

Warnings: sexual references, mild angst

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simon Ghost Riley-

When He Gets Jealous -

While Simon knows he is an attractive man, he still thinks that you can do much better than him

That being said, when you're around your close friends, and seem genuinely happy by their presence, Simon can't help the pit that forms in his stomach

He will get quiet and distant whenever he feels jealous. It's not a common emotion for him, and he doesn't know how to handle it

May honestly go to Johnny for advice about it

It'll take him a while to open up to you at first about his jealousy.

When he does finally come to terms with his jealousy....SCARY...DOG...PRIVELAGE

When You Get Jealous -

Let's be honest, this man is beautiful, so he constantly will have men and women vying for his attention

Simon isn't one for small talk with strangers though, so he often brushes them off politely, much to your amusement

That's not to say however, that you don't still get jealous when a fairly attractive person goes and chats him up

When he notices you get jealous, he'll make it a point to introduce you to the person who's flirting with him

Simon's not the overly affectionate type, but he would certainly make an exception if you were upset enough. He wants you to know he's yours until the end of time.

Doesn't even complain when you jump him the minute you guys get home

König-

When He Gets Jealous -

Like Simon, König isn't very vocal about his jealousy, and he will get fairly quiet

He's still fairly insecure with himself, so when he sees someone he feels is more attractive than he is, he can't help but feel self-conscious

He will subconsciously go above and beyond for you- pulling out your chair, bringing you flowers, opening the car door for you- more than he already does

He doesn't fully understand why you are with him, but he will do whatever he can to keep you

Please reassure this poor man. He loves you so much and doesn't want to lose you

When You Get Jealous -

Poor baby doesn't ever intentionally make you jealous

He tries to be nice to any person who approaches him, and it indirectly makes you jealous

He also doesn't realize when people are flirting with him, he always just thinks they're being nice

Literally will feel SO bad if you're jealous, and will apologize profusely for making you feel bad

Gets adorably flustered if you mark him up. Doesn't know what to do with himself

Say the word, and he will RAVISH you in bed to make you feel better

John Price-

When He Gets Jealous-

This man SCREAMS possessive (not in a toxic way). You are his and his alone

Will stare daggers at anyone who stares at you too long. He will make it known you're his.

Is definitely the type to waltz up to the person you're chatting with, and interrupt the two of you to introduce himself

If the person gets handsy with you? God help that person. Price would kill for you.

9/10 though, the minute his gruff, demanding voice comes out, it scares any possible suitor away from you

Will absolutely take you home and make SURE you know who you belong to ;)

When You Get Jealous-

When you get jealous, John gets pretty cocky about it

Depending on his mood, he may or may not feed into the flirting (just to see you get riled up)

Likes when you come over and make it known he's yours. He finds it cute when you get all fired up

Also finds it cute if you get all pouty about it, he will tease you quite a bit about it

Certainly won't complain if you mark him up once you get home. He'll wear those hickeys with pride

Kyle Gaz Garrick-

When He Gets Jealous-

Kyle doesn't really get jealous, and he hates the feeling of when he is. He never wants you to feel like he doesn't trust you

He may get a bit defensive if a man or woman is trying to shoot their shot with you, but he's confident enough in you and your relationship that he doesn't worry

If he does happen to get jealous, he will definitely get clingy. He'll come up and wrap his arm around you, or press a kiss to your cheek, making your relationship very apparent to the person who's talking to you

When You Get Jealous-

Kyle is very aware if he's being flirted with, or if someone's making a pass at him, and he's always quick to shut it down

Will feel really bad if you do get jealous, and will cuddle you for hours when you get home

He's the type to constantly reassure you of his affections for you. He never wants you to feel like he'd want anyone else but you

He would hesitantly admit that he gets slightly turned on by your jealousy

Johnny Soap MacTavish-

When He Gets Jealous-

Johnny is fairly confident in his good looks, and he trusts you completely, so he doesn't often get jealous

When he does get jealous, it's oftentimes because he's drunk, and you'll honestly have to hold him back so he doesn't hurt someone (or himself)

Will absolutely make a scene. He will make the entire vicinity of wherever you are aware that you're his partner

If he gets jealous when he's not drunk, he trusts you enough to let you handle it on your own, but will 100% step in like the macho man he is to get the person away from you

May or may not cover you head to toe with hickies...the worst has to know you're his

When You Get Jealous-

Johnny finds it hilarious when you get jealous, and will ABSOLUTELY tease you about it

If the two of you get drunk enough, you both like to see who can make the other get the most jealous

When either of you get jealous, it usually ends up resulting in hours between the sheets (not that either of you would complain)

If you get upset about it, though, he'll feel horrible and will smother you with affection once you get home

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[gatorbites-imagines]

Kinktober day 26

Sanji Vinsmoke + dry humping or frottage

October may be over, but I’ll still finish up all my kinktober prompts, even though I can feel writers block starting to appear at the edges of my subconscious.

Tongue piercing Sanji is real to me.

Kinktober 2023 masterlist.

The kitchen of the Sunny was a work of art, everyone had to admit that. Even you, who had no idea how kitchens even worked outside of always being able to find Sanji there, or being able to sneak a snack or two if the cook just so happened to be busy. Which wasn’t something that happened a lot, but you could be lucky to get away with it once in a blue moon,

That had been the plan that brought you to the kitchen so late at night, but of course Sanji was still up. If it were anyone else, you might have caught them jerking off or doing something they shouldn’t, but not Sanji, that guy respected his kitchen way too much to do something like that.

That didn’t keep you from sneaking up behind him and wrap your arms around his slim waist, hooking your chin on his shoulder as he jolted and almost twisted to kick you. But the familiar sound of your laugh in his ear had him settling down, the tips of his ears going red as you brushed your lips against his neck. “Did I scare you?” you teased, only gaining a flustered scoff from Sanji.

There wasn’t really a title for what you two were, you had never sat down and decided you were lovers, but neither of you went for anyone else in the romantic sense. Sure, Sanji still flushed around women and pampered them, and you play flirted with men you came across for the fun of it, but it never went beyond that.

Sanji huffed a breath out his nose as you grabbed his hips, using your hold to turn him around so you could kiss him on the lips. He always blushed so prettily, no matter how many times you kissed him, like he truly couldn’t believe someone would want to kiss him so casually. His hands slid up to the back of your neck, pulling you closer to deepen the kiss.

As your tongues brushed together, a soft noise leaving Sanji as the taste of your mouth filled his own. He gave a small noise as you flicked your tongue against the piercing through his own, rolling across it with the flat side of your tongue just to appreciate the feel of metal against it.

As you kissed, you found your hips rolling against Sanji, your crotches slotted together in a slow sensual wave. Your lips pulled into a smirk as you felt Sanji shiver as the growing bulge in his slacks pressed against your own, his grip growing tighter as he gripped onto your hair, lips separating so he could huff out a soft moan.

His eyes were shut as he dug his teeth into his bottom lip, his eyelashes resting against his cheekbones as his hips started rolling against your own. Your erections bumped together in delicious friction as the pace of your hips grew faster, lips once again finding each other in a kiss that quickly grew sloppy and desperate.

As the need grew stronger, Sanji ended up with one of his strong legs looped around your hips, his grip on you growing more insistent as he moaned against your lips, breathing strongly out through his nose. As the movements grew quicker and more uneven, your hands found themselves on his ass, gripping on and using the hold to have more control of the sways and grinds on your shared movement.

Sanji’s noises started rising in pitch as it started to become too much, the fabric of his slacks rubbing against his cock through his briefs, his hips stuttering. If it wasn’t for the grip you had on him, he might have forgotten completely about moving his hips as the bubbling feeling of orgasm brewed in his abdomen.

With one last hard grind, Sanji pulled his lips from yours with a wet noise, his head falling forwards into your shoulder as he gasped and let out a louder groan. The leg around you tightened, almost hard enough to hurt as you kept moving against him, until you pushed yourself over the edge.

It wasn’t the most comfortable feeling to spill inside your pants, and you could tell Sanji felt the same when he came out of the foggy cloud of orgasm from the shuffle and grumble he gave. With a chuckle, you scooped him up, hooking both his legs around your waist this time, ignoring his squawk and red face as you carried him towards the bath, you’d let him get back to his meal prep later, and Sanji seemed to agree to a certain degree, as he wasn’t struggling too much in your hold.

[forthevillains]

Albert Wesker headcanons

[these will be purely my opinion on what he does and how he is in and outside of relationship. Also let me know if I should write NSFW headcanons too!]

~ Albert is not a very open person so it’s difficult to get to him in the first place. It’s not like he lacks emotions, but as he can get easily attached, he prefers to only interact with people he must and that stays professional

~ though if you managed to get through that tough facade of his, you’ve earned yourself a loyal ally, a partner, a friend. People always make him seem bad, but gladly you didn’t care and wanted to find out for yourself, determined to find out as much as you could about this mysterious guy. And Wesker really appreciates it, even though someone being so interested in him feels odd

~ he is still distant at the beginning of the relationship, but it slowly develops into something warm and intimate. You have to give the poor man time, he hasn’t been in a proper relationship in ages if ever at all

~ the definition of you fell first, he fell harder

~ also he’s an active pet name user, so it’s very rare for him to call you by your actual name, though the more he falls for you, the more common it is for him to actually do that. Definitely adds ‘my’ before he says any pet name when he’s talking to you, just to make it known that you are special

~ he very much prefers women younger than him for a mere reason of spending as much time with you as possible. He doesn’t age like a normal person and he needs someone who would meet him at the very end so that you could leave this world together. He also wouldn’t want you to stay behind, however if you were actually his age, he would surely take care of you and make sure you still feel beautiful despite getting old

~ with the relationship come the secrets that he was able to hide from you before you got together. It’s safe to say that this man is not really a green flag due to the scars his trauma left on him. He’s not good for you and even though he wouldn’t admit it, he’s aware (somewhere deep down)

~ Albert insisted that you two live together, he needs you by his side and even when it might come off as if he’s trying to just be controlling - he’s just very scared of either you running away or someone hurting you while he’s not there to protect you

~ when it comes to sleeping by his side, for the first few months he just sleeps on his side of the bed, leaving you enough space only until he’s deep asleep. Then he’ll subconsciously wrap his arms around your body, pulling you close and making a personal teddy bear out of you. He’s touch starved after all the years alone, so much that even if he tries to give you enough space, his body won’t let him do so. You better not tell him though, because he’d feel embarrassed. Just wait for him to do it consciously and enjoy it;)

~ he’s often busy meaning you’ll have to find a hobbies of your own inside the house

~ he’s very keen on taking care of you in his free time, especially your hair. It’s kind of a therapy to him, not just playing with it, but also washing or braiding, even dying it. He’s up to do all of that for you

~ when there’s something going on with him, he probably just leaves, so that he doesn’t bother you with his problems, but if you come to him, offering your love and affection, he’s up for it. He will gladly lay on your chest, wrapping his arms around your waist, closing his tired eyes. Might as well fall asleep in that position because the exhaustion would get to him

~ if you worked in Umbrella with him, then you’re aware of his plans for the future, though if you haven’t, he’s gonna keep you unaware for the rest of your life, feeding you with delusions he came up with. But don’t you worry, it won’t affect your relationship at all, he’s gonna make up for all the lies;)

~ he wouldn’t dare cry in front of you, if he ever cried at all. He’s not the type of person who would go cry to the corner, he usually overcomes the sadness with anger, so good luck calming him down

~ Wesker is actually a really good cook! He doesn’t have much time for it, of course, but when he does, he makes you delicious meals (he really likes to spoil you)

~ speaking of spoiling… His favorite thing to buy you is lingerie, without a doubt. It’s just a bad habit of his, whenever he sees something you’d look good in (which is everything in his eyes), he just has to buy it for you and then watch you try it on knowing that it’s going to end up torn apart in less than a week. He tries not to do so, but he’s so eager to have you at times he just rips your clothes off:( so he buys new new ones quite often

~ he often comes home too late, finding you asleep on the couch as you were waiting for him for too long. His heart aches at the thought of someone being so excited just to see him, of someone actually caring about him and loving him as he knows how much of a risk he’s putting you in just by being with you. He would come up to you, gently taking you in his arms and carrying you to bed. He wouldn’t join you anytime soon, but he’d definitely stop by just to look at your peaceful, sleeping form, wondering just why on earth did you choose him

~ loves it when you sit on his lap while he’s working or even while he’s just reading a book. One of his arms is wrapped around your waist, keeping you close, while he holds a pen/documents/book in the other. Your presence is very important to him, he loves touching you, feeling you. He needs you and having you so close brings him enough comfort to let loose (and if you’d look up at him you’d probably see a tiny smile on his face)

~ absolutely loves listening to you. Even when he’s exhausted after a very bad day, he’ll pull you close to him, asking you how your day went and just lets you talk, only reassuring you that he’s still listening whenever you stop. Your voice is comforting to him and it’s his way of relaxation, to just be close to you and listen

~ underrated opinion, but in my eyes he’d hate smoking. It’s basically killing you, so why would you do that? If you’re a smoker, he’ll ask you to stop, but won’t do anything against it if you tolerate that he doesn’t want you to do it inside the house. He’s still annoyed whenever you light up a cig though

~ he likes it when you take his sunglasses and try them on. It always gets him to smile for some unknown reason as he watches you giggle, happy that you have a thing of his in your possession, even if for just a few minutes

~ secretly, his dream is to settle down and live a life he never got to have. He’s just a broken man after all and having you gave him a different view on life. Of course, he still wants to save the world (in his own ways), but he also wishes he got to have a peaceful life by your side, seeing you smile everyday, traveling across the world if you’d like to. He wished he could be the perfect man just for you

[enqmind]

As ever, I accept payment in kind words and follows.

Ghost/Female Reader WC: 1.8k 18+ content

Warnings: Suicide attempt by reader, gaslighting, manipulation, Local Manc has worst possible reaction to a suicide attempt, ~*self indulgence*~

Reader notes: Thin enough to fit into a standard bathtub, light enough to be lifted from a standard bathtub by Ghost, mentally ill, pale enough for noticable blushing (feel free to ignore), atheist (it's now plot relevant, but I'm not your dad), ≥ 5' - < 6' tall (by Ghost's estimate)

One Man's Treasure III

Previous Next

 The idea that she’d recognise him just hadn’t occurred to him at all.

 He took great pains to cover his face so much of the time, after all. Surgical masks in the warmer months, balaclavas and scarves in the chillier ones.

 When could she have seen his bare face?

 Her surprise melted away into despair.

 “Oh, this is part of the punishment isn’t it? A constant reminder of my cowardice.”

 Yes, all those times she looked like she wanted to ask him something but didn’t.

 “Go on.”

 “I wanted to get to know my neighbours, but it never seemed like the right time.” She stared at his covered chest. “I just couldn’t stand to be a bother, you know?”

 The look on her face was all too familiar. She’d learned not to be a bother, probably the hard way.

 “Despite always covering his face, he’d seemed somehow more approachable. Like there was space in his life for a new friend. I was just always too scared to make that first move.” A sigh. “C’est la vie. Though not anymore, I suppose.”

 There, an in.

 “If he always covered his face, how do you know what he looks like?”

 A weak smile.

 “Happened to spot him when he was getting his post in the dead of night once. He looked exhausted, so I let him be.”

 Sometimes you were so tired that you’d dream of doing the rote thing that you did all the time. Unthinking action becoming nothing more than subconscious thought.

 It was really his bad luck that his neighbour happened to see, and a huge problem that he didn’t notice her.

 She started to pull away.

 Ghost put his hand on her back and stopped her.

 No, I’m not angry at you.

 “I, er… need a wee,” she mumbled.

 “Go ahead then,” he replied, removing his arm. “But come straight back, I don’t want you wandering around.”

 She nodded and shimmied her way off the bed.

 He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling.

 They’d have to move. He couldn’t keep her around her own flat, she’d want to get stuff from it.

 He pulled his phone from his pyjama pocket and texted Price.

 -I need extended leave and a house-

 Ghost would have to make an itemised plan and shopping list.

 As nice as her roaming around his house in his clothes was, she’d have to leave the flat eventually and she’d need her own clothes for that.

 He’d have to find a storage place to put her stuff until he figured out what to do with it and break her lease.

 Oh, right.

 He’d need to find out what her name was. That would be easy enough, she’d have post in her place.

 The sound of bare feet on carpet caught his attention.

 She was swimming in that shirt, he couldn’t even see the shorts. Just a very nice pair of legs cut off by his shirt. There could be anything or nothing under there.

 “Um…”

 His eyes snapped up to her face.

 Her tongue peeked out to wet her lips as she sat on the edge of the bed, twisting toward him. Hands toying with the edge of the shirt.

 “I’m hungry, can I use the kitchen? Please?”

 There was nothing in there but a half empty tub of LoSalt.

 “No. What do you want?”

 Her brow furrowed in mild confusion.

 “Um, anything will do. I can throw something together.”

 “We’re getting takeaway.”

 Her eyes widened.

 “I really don’t want to be a bother.”

 You’re not being a bother.

 Women liked Starbucks, right?

 He pulled up his app of choice.

 “Ham and cheese toastie.” He peered at her worried face. “Caramel latte?”

 “You really don-”

 “There’s no food in the kitchen.”

 There, that stopped her.

 “Oh. Yeah, that sounds fine.”

 He glanced at her.

 “And get in the bed. You’re cold.”

 Her arm went over her chest and she turned red.

 Ghost tugged at the duvet.

 “In.”

 She climbed into the bed, teetering near the edge.

 He patted the bed next to him as his phone pinged.

 -Elaborate-

 -Somewhere quiet with good transport links to Johnny’s-

 She shimmied closer.

 Yeah, somewhere quiet ought to make this whole thing easier to believe.

 Easy access to Johnny’s meant there’d be a good shot of his Mrs being able to check in on her. Which Mrs MacTavish would do, since she still cared about Ghost despite the fact that he knew that she knew that he was making faces at her under his mask. She had his number, and he respected that.

 He lay down his arm behind his neighbour, which caused her to pause for a moment.

 She stared at it, then lay down with his bicep as a neck pillow. Stiff as a board.

 Not the most comfortable position, but he could make it work. He bent his arm and rested his hand on her arm.

 It could be nicer, but this was nice enough for now.

 His phone pinged again.

 -Why?-

 “You’re really comfortable,” his neighbour mumbled, turning her head and smiling. “I was led to believe you’d be a lot bonier.”

 “That was before I started working out.”

 The smile turned into a full grin and she relaxed.

 -Suddenly gained a dependent-

 He felt a gentle touch on his side, her hand tentatively resting on him. He stared at it as it stood stark against his t-shirt.

 Ghost put his phone on his chest and immediately entwined their fingers.

 God, her hand was so small in his. He could crush the bones with little effort. Had women always been so delicate, or was this one special?

 She swallowed spit nervously.

 “Why-”

 His phone pinging interrupted her.

 Terrible timing.

 -How big is it?-

 -5 foot something-

 Now the phone was ringing.

 “Should I go?”

 He shook his head.

 “You stay, I need to turn the heating on anyway.”

 She sat up, releasing his arm without being asked.

 Thoughtful little thing.

 He briefly rubbed her back as he got up and answered the call.

 “What do you mean ‘five foot something’?” Price demanded.

 Ghost watched her roll into the warm path he left and snuggle under the duvet as he shut the door.

 “Didn’t ask her height.”

 A loud sigh came out of the phone as he went to switch on the boiler, pushing the temperature up a few extra degrees. Women ran cold, afterall.

 “There’s a limit to what we can sweep under the rug, Ghost. If you’ve kidnapped someone-”

 He half tuned Price out.

 Was this a kidnapping?

 Arguably he had taken her from her home without her consent; but, since she hadn’t yet attempted to leave, it was a moot point.

 He did want to think about her trying to leave.

 “I found her bleeding and about to drown in a bathtub,” he interjected. “A suicide attempt.”

 Silence.

 “Fourth or fifth try, she says.” He turned and stared at the bedroom door.

 Silence.

 Then, “you don’t sound like you’re in a hospital.”

 “Didn’t take her to a hospital.”

 More silence.

 “She’s in the other room and we’ve got breakfast coming.”

 “We need to talk about this.”

 “Yeah.”

 “What’s her name?”

 “Dunno yet.”

 “Jesus Christ,” he hissed. “Tell me the second you know, get all the information you can. I’m running a background check.”

 Ghost sighed.

 “You don’t need to, I-”

 “This isn’t a favour. It’s an order.”

 There was no arguing with that.

 No matter how unlikely it seemed, you could never be too safe.

 “Affirmative.”

 Another, brief, silence.

 “Don’t lose your head.”

 “I won’t, sir.”

 They ended the call, and Ghost leaned on the wall.

 Maybe he already had.

---

 Breakfast was about ten minutes away when he went back into the bedroom.

 His neighbour was wrapped up like a jacket potato. It was… cute.

 “So, what were you going to ask?” he prompted, sitting on the edge of the bed and resting a hand on what he assumed was her hip.

 Her lips pursed for a moment, but then she gave him a nervous smile.

 “Um, why does this place have the same layout as my flat?”

 Shit. He’d lucked out before, but— yes. He’d lucked out, and still was lucking out really.

 “Where else would your neighbour live?”

 Her brows drew into a frown.

 “I… suppose?” she paused. “...Am I doing this?”

 “Doing what?”

 She wriggled out an arm and motioned around.

 “Making it like this?”

 The suspicion in her voice was worrisome, but nothing a simple lie couldn’t cover. Even if he would prefer to avoid actively voicing them.

 “What were you expecting the afterlife to be like?” he questioned. He’d have to fit her beliefs as much as he could, afterall.

 She looked at him with less confusion and more like he was a bit thick.

 “Nothing. I’m an atheist, remember? This is all a surprise.”

 “You really have no preconceived notions of the afterlife?”

 “Now you’ve taken hell off the table? No.”

 Did that mean he could tell her whatever he wanted… and she’d believe it?

 “I don’t know much myself,” he began, gently rubbing her hip through the duvet. “Normally when I take people to the hereafter, it’s a swift affair.”

 “Tha-that sounds about right,” she agreed, not a hint of suspicion in her.

 Yeah, the truth was the best lie, wasn’t it?

 “But what I do know is that when someone dies by a human hand, their afterlives are picking up where they left off.”

 Data point of one, but did that really even matter? It was true, his truth.

 Fear hit her like a tonne of bricks, eyes already beginning to get shiny with tears.

 She sat up in a scramble and grabbed at his t-shirt.

 “Please don’t. I’m begging you, please don’t send me back.”

 The punch to his gut of guilt took him by surprise, forcing an instinctual response.

 He wrapped his arms around her and crushed her to his chest.

 “Never.”

 She sniffled into his shirt.

 “Promise?”

 He pulled back and tipped her chin so they could meet eye to eye.

 “No need. You don’t want your life, but I do. And I don’t give up what’s mine easy.”

 It was as that statement left his mouth he realised how fucked up it was. How it would scare her away, back into a life she hated.

 His arms twitched, ready to pin her to him at the slightest sign of an escape attempt.

 She stared at him blankly for a few moments before she broke into a nervous smile.

 “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, I suppose.”

 Relief washed over him and he allowed himself a small smile.

 “That’s right, you’re my treasure.”

 A nervous smile became an embarrassed blush.

 “But… I don’t even know what to call you.”

 What should he tell her to call him? Because whatever it was, it would be forever.

 There was really only one option.

 “Simon.”

[arrieebooks]

Precious Weapon (8)

Pairing : Lloyd Hansen x F!OC (Elle) x Sierra Six (Court Gentry) x glimpses of Denny Carmichael.

Summary : She has her first kill but things get messy. Lloyd starts to feel feelings for her. They all three have a conversation about what they really are.

Warnings : Guns. Detailed murder. Violence. Assassination Gore. Lloyd thirsts over her ass. Nudity. Taking clothes off. Polyamory relationship. Fun trysts in a hotel. Lots of implied sex. Teasing. Making out underwater. Slight happiness for a short time. References to home theater. (Check it out, it deserves more recognition!).

Word count : 14k words.

Author's note : This takes place exactly two weeks after chapter seven.

***

Lloyd has no idea what kind of spell she has put him under to be this whipped to her.

He is obsessed with her. Captivated. Bewitched. She controls him, unintentionally and subconsciously. Anything she wants, it's hers. He does whatever she says. He has never been this glued before with any other women in his life. And she doesn’t even do much. She just simply exists in his radar.

He finds her completely flawless. Everything she does is perfect and attractive to him. It doesn’t even matter what she’s doing. It could either be when she’s eating up all of their food hungrily or blowing up buildings and warehouses or bursting with laughter loudly whenever Six tries to crack up a stupid joke.

Even today, as she's bent down and arching her ass while gripping a huge sniper against the hotel room's window, she looks absolutely sexy and tempting to him. He's never seen any woman handle a gun so perfectly composed — Six taught her well. He could see the curve of her ass through her thin black leggings. Lloyd scrubs his hand over his stache, drifting his eyes toward the view of the mall in front of them instead of her ass.

He squints his eyes due to the usual hot sunny day of the city. The room smells like a fresh new hotel room and he missed it. He's sitting on the uncomfortable chair in the desk, right beside her where the gun is placed. Six is somewhere on the bed, reviewing the surveillance cameras in his laptop and the blueprint of the mall to look for loopholes.

It's her first big mission after two weeks of waiting and recovering from everything that’s happened. An assassination mission. To eliminate one of the corrupt politicians in the city. She’s been studying his case during her week off and he is truly the fucking worst.

She had flinched a couple of times just looking at his files from what he had done to thousands of poor innocents just for the sake of money. The bastard doesn’t even care nor is he scared of being caught. Instead, he’s chilling in a fancy outdoor café from the mall with his family while he's calling some other politician as well.

They’ve been in that mall before, it just wasn’t a mission. It was a nice day out with just them because she wanted fresh air that time. He wishes the circumstance could be the same now. He hates assassination missions. It always gets messy real fast, somehow.

“You know, I could just shoot him right here and then we could enjoy this nice room for the rest of the day.” Elle remarks casually, her eyes still watching the man from the sniper’s lens.

Six looks up from his laptop and frowns. "We just need to be patient. Get him alone and do it in a secure place without too many cameras in every single angle." he calmly tells her.

Lloyd looks down at her even though she can't see him. "That's not exactly the purpose we got this room for, sweetheart." he retorts coldly.

She rolls her eyes, retreating from the sniper to look straight into his eyes. "But, it is a pretty expensive room just to waste it for a few hours, spying on this asshole doing nothing." she grumbles but he still finds it so fucking attractive. She's just like him.

He glares at her as his jaw tenses. "You're the one who told us to get this room in the first place." Lloyd reminds her, proving to himself even more that he does whatever she says.

She finally stands up straight and her eyes look down at him. "Yeah, because it had a clear view of the whole outdoor mall. But I didn't think that we would be holed up in this room for hours. He practically hasn't moved a single muscle." she states.

Lloyd shakes his head. "We can't kill him with the gun. The room's window that we booked is clearly going to leave a hole. A fucking bullet hole. We're too close to the target. They'll trace it back to us." he states the obvious.

She shrugs. "We used a fake identity to book this room, they can't trace it back to us. We'll be fine." Elle still insists.

Sometimes her stubbornness gets on his nerves way too much. His jaw clenches and clicks while his eyes glare up at her.

"No. it's not how it's done. You're here to make it look completely clean and untraceable, without any sort of evidence at all. That's your purpose, Elle." Lloyd sternly tells her.

She huffs, rolling her eyes again. She knows that he's making a perfect point now. She just hates admitting it.

"And I can't believe I've put up with you for one month now." she says with a sigh, a small smile slowly forming on her lips.

Lloyd's face gradually relaxes a little bit and realizes this is her way of telling him that he's right, for the very first time.

Six perks up from his laptop, glancing between them. "Has it really been a month? I don't keep track of dates." he casually says.

She snaps his head to him and nods. "Yep. A month or so." Elle answers before walking up to him and Lloyd's eyes follow her every moment.

She sits on the bed, right in front of him. "So, when do we finally get down there? I can't hear anything he's saying from up here." she asks him, sweetly.

Six looks down at his laptop again to study the blueprint so he could get them a nice exit strategy.

Lloyd clicks his tongue in disapproval. "He's probably saying something useless anyway. Like which stripper club he wants to buy next." he remarks.

She turns around to him. "Have you ever been to a stripper club before?" she teases him intentionally with a smirk on her lips.

Lloyd casually nods. "Yeah. In France. Just not really my scene. Too dark and flashy. Tacky. And, embarrassing. Every guy is there to see some ass and everyone knows it." he comments.

She furrows her brows, cocking her head to the side. "Why'd you only say ass?" she asks.

He stammers, evidently panicking. "I—what? What does that even mean? What else was I even supposed to say? It is like that! It's all ass!" Lloyd tries to defend himself but she just laughs at him.

Six still remains calm and focused on the screen of his laptop. They don't bother his focus by talking like this, he likes it when they talk. He was the one who suggested in the first place to include Lloyd in their thing because he genuinely likes the guy.

She shakes her head. "It means you like ass more, Hansen. There are other body parts of a woman that aren't just their ass. The fact that you only said ass, means you're an ass man." Elle explains to him.

Lloyd scowls, looking very offended by her true statement. "That's not true." he denies.

She raises her brows. "Really? How about my ass, then?" She keeps teasing him and Six finally looks up to them. He knows Lloyd loves her ass more than anything. Six could tell by the way he was always staring at it. Even earlier, he noticed.

He shrugs plainly. "What about your ass? It looks fine to me." Lloyd pretends to not like her ass even though he has been staring at it this whole time.

She giggles. "You like my ass, Lloyd. Admit it." she urges as Six stares back down at his laptop to hide a smile.

Six clears his throat before the other man could even open his mouth. "Guys, I think I found a plan," he announces.

Lloyd smirks at him, now focusing all his attention on him. "Well, let's hear it, ken doll." he gestures his hand for him to continue.

"Right, so we'll go in there separately. Maybe, one of us as a couple. We disguise our way in there and act like clueless tourists just wandering around. We'll bring one of our agents so I can walk with them." Six makes a plan out of the top of his head since he's never really done this before.

She frowns. "So… me and Lloyd as a couple?" she asks slowly.

Six casually nods. "Yeah. You guys look more fitting for it. I'll be a solo traveler with a friend. Then, Lloyd and you are going to follow him after he leaves that café. Make something up so he could be in a secluded place. Wherever you decide to do it, make sure to destroy the cameras before it could even catch you. Are we clear?" he explains to them.

They're both an attentive partner to him, always listening to him no matter what the situation is. Six rarely makes plans for missions. He usually just does what he's told to. He only ever strategizes when he urgently has to.

Lloyd immediately nods. "Clear. I'll go and tell our team in the other room." he declares, getting up from his seat.

She nods her head too. "I'm going to prep and cloak our weapons again so it doesn't beep during security." Elle states before all of them part their ways to do their own thing.

***

Beep

Their hotel door opens as Lloyd comes into the room with the key card in his hands. He's just finished briefing the team of their plan. He bought some clothes in the mall for their disguise as well.

Elle is in the bathroom, doing her hair to make it look like she's a tourist because she clearly doesn't. She's already learned to blend in since she was born. She's lived in this country her whole life.

Six is taking off his shirt and jacket in the room, that certainly doesn't make him look like a solo traveler. He looks more like a rich guy about to murder a guy. It's not exactly his fault that Lloyd always buys his clothes expensively. He just told him that he wanted comfortable clothes.

Lloyd's knuckles knock on the bathroom and Elle snaps her head with a straightener and a brush still in her hair. "Yeah?" she asks him as he leans on the doorframe.

He shows her three shopping bags. "Bought you guys some clothes. You know, for the disguise. I've already memorized both of your sizes." Lloyd tells her.

She nods, calmly putting the burning hot straightener on the counter. "Okay, what am I wearing?" she asks, fully turning to him with a hand on her hip.

Lloyd takes a clothing item from the bag and reveals it to her. "Well, this." He hands her a very long, flowy maxi pink sundress with white flowers and ribbons for the straps. Something to wear in an island destination or on a beach.

She sighs. "You've got to be kidding me. I have to wear this? Lloyd, we're in Jakarta, not in fucking Bali or something. This is not something you'd wear in a city." Elle complains.

Lloyd nods. "Yeah, stupid tourists, remember? They wear whatever the fuck they want." he argues.

She shakes her head in disbelief. "Fine. If I have to wear this shit, then you can't wear this either." she says, her finger pointing out his clothes that certainly make him look too rich and not like a tourist at all.

He frowns, looking down at his black patterned polo shirt and his white trousers. "What? No. These are my clothes. I'm not taking it off. Ever." Lloyd firmly states.

She smirks, stepping forward to him and her hands rest against his chest. "Yes, you are. Because I'm the one taking it off of you." she softly demands, her fingers already slowly taking his buttons off.

Lloyd huffs. "Are you fucking kidding me?" he grumbles but he doesn't move a single muscle, he's letting her do it.

She nods, flicking off three buttons on the top of his shirt. “Yeah, wear a normal shirt and normal pants to blend in as a tourist. You know, I knew you weren’t just some tourist or a guy who worked a 9-5 job here, back at that bar. Because of how you dressed. Now, let me style you, Lloyd.” she says before finally finishing taking off all of the buttons.

He rolled his eyes, glaring down at her. “Whatever. Just make it quick.” Lloyd mumbles and she lifts his shirt above his head quickly.

He’s left shirtless and while this isn’t the first time she’s seen him like this, it has been a long time since they’ve seen each other fully naked. It’s only been two weeks. Lloyd wanted to give her some space, after everything that’s happened. He didn’t want to push her. He wanted to let her body heal properly. She’s been with Six a lot and he's been helping her sleep every night.

She looks down at all his toned abs and abdomen. “You’ve gotten ripped.” Elle remarks teasingly.

Lloyd frowns. “That’s not true. I haven’t even been working out.” He refers to something else that isn’t related to actually working out. He knows she knows what it means. He knows how smart she actually is. Smarter than him, sometimes.

Her lips turn into a smirk as she slowly stares up at him with those big, innocent eyes. “Well, we could fix that tonight if we decide to stay the night here.” She teases him.

He slowly nods. “We'll see later.” Lloyd seriously tells her and a smile gleams on her lips.

She grabs the dress she’s about to wear and snatches all the shopping bags from his hands. “Come here, we have more space in the room.” she says before grabbing his hand, dragging him into their room.

Six turns his head to them and frowns confusedly. She goes to stand in front of him while throwing all the bags onto their bed. Lloyd still has his hand glued on hers as he stands behind her.

"What's going on here? Why is Lloyd suddenly shirtless?" Six asks them, holding in a laugh as his lips slowly tug into a small smile.

She smiles softly. "I'm styling him now. You need it too, you know. So, take your shirt off please." she demands him and he immediately nods, already taking his shirt off from him. Six doesn't hesitate at all because they've both seen him naked already and he trusts them. If this was anyone else, he'd rip their skin off.

Lloyd tilts his head to the side. "You keep ordering us to take off our shirts, when are you going to do the same?" he asks her, wrapping his hand around her waist as he presses himself against her from behind.

Six casually throws his shirt somewhere on the bed before glaring at the other man.

"Now's not the time for that. We need to—"

Wordlessly, she casually takes her crop top off of her body, revealing her white bra that matched her shirt. "I need to change into my dress first before I style you guys." she innocently says.

Lloyd's eyes wander all around her body from behind and somehow, he's so relieved that all her scars from two weeks ago are gone. He knows it has been gone for long already but he remembered the fear he felt when he saw all those scars on her body that weren't healing yet. He thought it was the end of her.

Six's eyes respectfully stare down at her body before looking back up at her eyes. "Change quick, Elle. This isn't a…" he softly trails.

She nods. "I know. This is a mission. And the mark's still in the same place until now." she states as a matter of fact.

Lloyd looks at their window and she's right. He glances at the blonde as he smirks. "Come on, Six. Loosen up. She's just styling us. It's a requirement for the mission." he remarks.

"Since when do you ever loosen up for a mission?" Six casually asks, knowing how he used to be so uptight with them during a mission. But that was before having her.

Lloyd shrugs before she pulls away from him and walks towards Six, standing beside him. "Because he's changed, right?" she teases.

He nods. "Maybe," he admits.

Six looks over to her and the dress she has in her hands. "Take your pants off and wear the dress." he softly demands, grabbing the dress she's holding.

She does what she's told, kneeling down a little to take her leggings off smoothly. Lloyd has to retreat his eyes from the view in front of him to not get that distracted. He does have to do a mission after this. He can't get hard for this.

After completely removing her leggings off of her feet, she throws them onto their bed. She stands up and looks up at Six due to their height difference. Sometimes she forgets how tall he is compared to her. She's not exactly short, he's just too tall.

Elle turns to him and he puts on the dress above her head carefully. She didn't even think he'd do this for her. He places the straps on her shoulders correctly and smoothens them out before he observes the dress on her body quietly.

"Nice dress for a disguise." Six quietly remarks, "Lloyd bought you this, didn't he?" he asks before turning to the man in question.

Lloyd nods at him. "Yeah, obviously. She wouldn't have worn something like this."

She turns her eyes to him and rolls her eyes. "Because this isn't some island. It's a city. We don't wear shit like this." she retorts, tidying her dress.

He frowns. "I've seen some girls wear this at that bar and then in this mall. Even more revealing and shorter ones." Lloyd comments casually.

She shakes her head. "Other girls aren't me. I have a damn principle. I wasn't raised that way." Elle firmly states. She doesn't think that other girls who wear that are sluts or anything, it's just a matter of preference and principle. She was raised by abusers, but they still taught her about values, regardless.

Lloyd cocks his head to the side before slowly smirking. "Well, then, maybe it's a good thing that you'd only be revealing yourself to us and no one else. It's exclusive." he affirms.

"Yeah, except for now." she retorts, still not really okay with having to wear this dress just for the mission.

Lloyd sighs, regarding her with a soft look. "I know, baby, but we're gonna walk together out there. If anyone says some stupid shit I'll shoot their fucking mouth." he swears. He's never called her that. That was usually Six's thing for her, sometimes.

She breaks into a giggle. "Yes, please. I'd love that very much." she says before realizing what he just said. "Wait. Did you just—"

And Lloyd just had noticed what slipped out of his mouth, accidentally. "Okay, let's just change our clothes and you know, do it quickly." he tries to change the subject.

She's okay with it. She knew he wasn't ready for it yet, anyway. He never is going to be. He doesn't have the guts to make things more serious. Even after a month. A month of enduring and living together. That's the longest he's ever stayed with anyone before and the most he's done with a woman.

She clears his throat before a smile touches her lips. "Alright, so, you guys stay here." she tells them, walking to their bed and grabbing the shopping bags.

As she turns around to them with the bags, she takes a step back to observe both of them like this. Still and shirtless. Just for her. Like two sexy supermodels perfect and ready for her only. She has no fucking idea how much power she has over them. They'd do quite literally anything for her if she asks. Even this. This is something they both would've never done if it wasn't with her and for her.

She won't admit this, but this whole thing is turning her on a little. A little too much, perhaps. It does spark her a bit that they'd both just strip their whole body for her whenever she asks. She knows it's a sensitive thing for them because their body is full of scars and survivor wounds that no one else would've been allowed to see. Except for her, that is.

Six turns to her and frowns. "Elle? You good?" he softly asks her.

She snaps herself back to reality and looks at him, nodding. "Yep. Yes, all good. Okay, so, Lloyd's turn first. Because… there's a lot to work with." Elle states, walking to him.

Lloyd straightens up and places his hands on his bare hips as she steps closer to him.

She stands in front of him, staring down at his pants before she grimaces. "Your pants… It's too douchey. It reeks of an asshole rich guy who's about to murder someone. Not a clueless, stupid tourist." she remarks.

He rolls his eyes. "Fine, what am I wearing then?" he asks her and she pulls out some white linen pants from the bag.

Lloyd already shakes his head at the sight of it. "Absolutely not. That was for Six." he argues.

"Wear it." she orders sternly and he's just speechless, eventually taking the white pants from her hands. She sneaks a peek into the options for the shirts and finds a dark navy polo shirt. Which is still from a fancy brand but at least, it doesn't look like it from the front.

She casually hands him the shirt and he just accepts it, without any complaints. "See, you can even still wear a polo shirt, just a much more normal one than your usual. I have no idea why you bought a dozen clothes for this disguise. This is like a week's worth of clothes for the three of us." she comments.

He scoffs, looking down at the clothes she chose for him. "Because I thought we'd need some clothes if we're going to stay the night. Our fake suitcases are all filled with weapons and comms. That you magically made it invisible." Lloyd remarks, quietly praising her.

Elle nods. "I know, I'm amazing. Anyway, take your pants off and wear all this. I'm not gonna look." she assures him before turning around from him to walk to Six.

Six's face slowly relaxes at her as she steps closer and closer to him with the bags in her hands. Lloyd begins to take his pants off to wear the clothes she told him to but Six completely ignores the sight. Instead, his eyes study her every movement, as usual. Her long dress sways with her body as she walks and he just noticed how perfect she's wearing the dress she hates.

She meets his eyes and gives him that soft, warm smile he secretly likes so much. Her cheeks blushes and her dimples show whenever she smiles. "You look nice, you know. Just saying. Regardless of the situation." Six quietly compliments her.

Her lips stretch further as her smile widens. "Thank you." she sweetly thanks him.

Looking down at the bags again, her eyes light up as she finds the perfect clothes for him. Along with an accessory. She takes them all out and reveals it to him.

Six's eyes look down at her clothing choice for him and he has absolutely no complaints. Even though he's never worn anything like this before. There's some khaki linen pants, a white linen button collar shirt and a dark blue baseball cap.

She looks at him for approval. "What do you think?" she asks him.

He stares up at her again and his lips form into a small, genuine smile. "It's perfect. I'll wear it." Six softly tells her as he gently grabs the clothes from her hands.

Her smile glows again and brightens up the whole hotel room. "Great, okay. I'll let you change." she says, turning around again to Lloyd. It's like she's a spinning wheel the whole time.

Once she finally sees Lloyd all dressed in the exact outfit she chose and wearing it surprisingly well, her smile widens again.

Lloyd looks down at his final outfit and smiles at her. "Satisfied with the result?" he asks her while she walks closer to him.

She casually nods, placing all the bags on their bed again before grabbing two pairs of sunglasses from it. One for her. One for him. She doesn't even know why he bought so many sunglasses for a one time disguise and one night in this hotel.

Elle steps closer to him while she could hear Six take his pants off and she tries to ignore that. She needs to focus. This is a serious mission. She's about to kill someone. She's never planned that before. It has always been self-defense.

Lloyd grabs the sunglasses from her hands and examines it closely. "It's decent, I guess," he mutters before staring back up at her, regarding her. She's glowing in that dress as her face focuses on her leopard print sunglasses.

He tilts his head to the side and tucks her hair under her ear. Her eyes finally looked up at him. "You do look nice, you know. You could pull anything off. Even my shirt." Lloyd softly tells her.

She laughs out loud, smiling widely and his heart bruises again. He has no idea what the fuck is going on with his heart or his mind or anything inside him. He doesn't know what's wrong with him. She affects him so much. Everything that she does impacts him. Even the tiniest things. He hates feeling this way. Confused. Lost. Helpless. He has never felt all these emotions for anyone. He's never even felt emotions for himself. She changed everything and he's starting to hate it.

She shakes her head. "Not your polo shirts. I want to wear your normal shirts. The one you wear to bed. It'll be much more comfortable." she says.

He frowns. "I don't wear anything to bed, sweetheart. You'd know that if you spent a night with me." Lloyd remarks. A little harsh, since he was the one who kept his distance after what happened two weeks ago. He just wanted to give her space. He didn't want to touch her. But, she wanted him to. She just thought he wanted space as well.

She nods seriously. "We will, Lloyd. Soon enough. Or tonight, in this hotel room." she teases.

Six clears his throat, tidying his shirt as he's all dressed up. "I'm done. We should go now. Lloyd, we need a few agents watching the area as well. Are they ready?" he asks him.

Elle and Lloyd immediately turn around to him as she takes a second to properly observe him, up and down. He looks way too good in those linen pants than he should be. He's used to being dressed by people and ordered around. He usually just wears whatever the agency tells him to. But this time, it's different. She's styling him, not demanding him. In a much more affectionate way, too.

Lloyd nods at him. "Yeah, they are. Are you guys ready?" he asks both of them, about to walk to the door as Six steps forward towards them.

She turns around to him and nods. "So, we need to do a little PDA if that's okay with you, you know to be more convincing. We'll walk with our arms tangled together and our bodies sticking the whole time while just admiring the place." she tells him in detail.

He knits his eyebrows. "Are you okay with that? I know you hate all that shit. It makes you uncomfortable." Lloyd reminds her, knowing her all too well by now.

She hums assuringly, her eyes gazing up at him. "No, it's okay. It's just for the mission. I just want to get this over with before this guy hurts more people." Elle firmly states.

Six is already standing behind her, resting his hand on her shoulder. "We'll do it right. I believe in you." he softly murmurs to her.

She moves her eyes to him and gives him a small smile. "Yeah, I know." she whispers back.

Lloyd glances between them while they're still focused on each other. He clears his throat, gaining their attention. "Let's go. We don't have all day." he declares, sternly.

They both agree to that, leaving their hotel room all at once.

***

It's the most annoying thing to pretend. She hates pretending. She'd rather walk into a burning fire.

But this time, she doesn't really have much of a choice but to follow the protocols of the mission. It needs to be discreet. Quiet. Quickly.

There's nothing discreet about murdering an influential politician in the biggest mall in the city, though. It was the only way. He was in his office every other day.

Unless she was planning to execute all of the corrupt politicians in the city at their own office, she'd have to work with what she has now.

At least this way, she gets to finally be close enough with Lloyd. He has sort-of ignored her for this whole week. She's missed him. So much. But, she didn't want to push him either if he somehow wanted space. She understands him. More than himself, even.

So now, here they are, walking side-by-side with her arm clinging onto his and her body leaning against his while they walk through the mall as a fake tourist couple. Well, technically, it's not really fake but they're not exactly a couple. They're okay with touching each other and being close but they're definitely not in a relationship. It's too complicated for both of them.

"Where did he go now?" Lloyd asks, whispering into her ears as he smiles just to make people think that he's saying something affectionate to her.

She fakes giggles, leaning onto his ear. "I don't fucking know. How long do we have to pretend like this again?" she asks him.

He looks down at her with no expression this time. "Until he's dead, sunshine." Lloyd says, close to her face and somehow, he manages to make his tone affectionate.

She frowns slightly, looking ahead. "Somehow you saying actual murder and mixing it with a sweet nickname gives me the chills. Honestly, Lloyd, how can you be so casual about this?" Elle genuinely asks him, finally looking into his eyes.

Lloyd stares back at her, regarding her with a small, tender look. He just realizes that she's still not used to all this yet. "Because I've gotten used to it. I had to. And you will too, one day. At least, you have us. I'll guide you step-by-step." He actually means it when he says it. He wants to help her. Something that he didn't have when he had his first kill.

She wonders for a moment, what it would be like when she'll be all alone, doing all the missions for the CIA and not having a home to come home to. Or anyone to come home to. It'll be just like before. Her pretty, wide eyes continue to stare into his as they walk straight ahead into the crowd. Over here, the people give them space to walk just because they're white. They respect them more due to the color of their skin. It's an unfortunate fact.

She nods slowly. "Yeah. Okay." she replies before drifting her eyes to where they're going.

Lloyd looks around them, searching for their mark. "Fuck, I think we lost him." he mutters, pressing the comms in his ears and she does too.

"Six, where are you?" he asks him through their comms and it immediately connects to him.

There's loud noises of the crowd heard through his comms before he clears his throat. "I'm walking through the bridge above you. There's a huge balcony here and he just dropped his family off to go to the other connecting mall. He's alone now. Come meet me." Six flatly explains while casually walking through the crowd alone. He's got his navy baseball cap on with a backpack behind his back and a field agent beside him.

She hums in response. "We're on our way to you." Elle immediately answers.

Lloyd glances at her and frowns. "You know exactly where he is?" he asks.

She nods calmly. "I know the place that he told us about. I've been in this mall since I was born. I've memorized every inch of this place even before it was all renovated and shit." she tells him.

His lips form into a thin line. "Right. Okay. You know best. Sorry, sweetheart." Lloyd quickly apologized and she smiled casually.

It was really unlike him to apologize. Especially to admit that he's actually wrong. Problem is, his ego is bigger than anything. It makes him feel better to know that he's smarter than anyone else. But for her, he'd be willing to forget about his ego for just a second.

And nowadays, he's doing that a lot.

***

Her eyes searched through the crowd for Six. She knew she couldn't approach him but it'd feel nice just to see him.

"I'm sure he's here somewhere." Lloyd mutters in her ear.

She nods, not even looking at him as they're holding hands like a couple. She guides him further into the enormous bridge balcony between the two new malls. It's way too crowded and suffocating in here that he's practically squeezing her soft hands. He hates crowded spaces.

He unhooks his sunglasses from his shirt and puts it on due to the brightness of the sun, despite being in the shade already. It smells weird here. Like all kinds of different smells combined into one and are all in the same place. People have been staring at them with wide eyes ever since they've entered the mall and he despises it. She does too. She's always hated it.

Lloyd's eyes scans through the place again, seeing the huge amount of people walking everywhere and suddenly, he spots the target from across the other balcony. He's casually walking with a suspected mistress while holding a bunch of shopping bags in his other hand.

He leans onto her ear. "Hey, he's here." Lloyd whispers and she whips her head, immediately looking for Six. "No, not Six. Our mark, I mean. He's with a young woman. Fucking pathetic." he comments.

Elle frowns before turning her eyes to where his eyes are staring at. And there he is. Her mark. Not exactly the man she was looking for but it'll do. She wants to finish this mission as quickly as possible, anyway so she could enjoy the rest of her day peacefully. Though, now that the moment's perfect and he's almost right in front of her, she hasn't actually thought of how to do it. Of course, it'd have to be with her mind. But, how? How could she do it without making it look completely ruthless?

She leans to his ear. "I'll just make his heart stop from here. Quick and easy. Less bloody and everything." she says, with a slight hesitancy.

He furrows his brows, glancing at her. "Are you sure? You know he deserves way worse, Elle. I know you think that too. I know you." Lloyd encourages her more. He means well. He's not trying to push her limits. He knows her limits. And this is barely crossing it. He just wants her to live up to her actual potential and he wants to guide her to it.

Suddenly, she stops walking and he does too, turning to her. He frowns in concern, gently holding her hands between them. Her eyes are focused elsewhere, to the mark and around them. All these innocent people. It's already bad enough that she has to get them to witness a murder scene and now she has to make his death more painful.

She frantically shakes her head, finally meeting his eyes through her own sunglasses. "No… I can't. Not with all these people." she whispers.

Lloyd sighs softly, squinting through his sunglasses. "Elle, there's barely any people around them. Plus, we could still make it less bloody if you want. I'll teach you. Just like you wanted." he assures her, calmly. He knows how to convince her.

She doesn't exactly nod or say anything approving of it. She needs to make sure first. "Are we out of the camera's sight?" she asks first.

He nods immediately before pressing on his comms. "Tell our IT team to disable the cameras now. We're on standby." Lloyd orders the team.

"Okay. Well, what do I do now?" she hesitantly asks him.

His eyes gesture across them, to where their mark is still standing there, watching the city view with his mistress. Lloyd gets behind her and she turns to get a clear view of the mark. He hugs her from behind affectionately while his arms wrap around her waist. They're making it look like they're just a tourist couple, enjoying the view like everyone else is.

Her soft hands rest on top of his as he leans onto her ear. "Focus on the mark and on your energy." he whispers softly and she nods.

She turns her gaze, paying close attention to the man across from them. He looks so calm and happy, despite all the crimes he's done that no one else knows about. He doesn't give a single shit about all the innocent lives he's ruined. He only cared about his money and his wealth. He took advantage of so many people in this city. And that really enraged her. It sparked rage in her. That's enough energy for what she's about to do now.

His mouth brushes against her ear. "Now, do it. Kill him, Elle. He deserves it." Lloyd coldly says, giving her the official order.

She nods obediently, inhaling a deep breath as her eyes sharply glare at the mark with anger still inside her. That anger fuels her powers and her mind focuses on the mark before the man starts to feel choked, like there isn't any more oxygen for him. He holds his neck with both of his hands to try to breathe but before he could even move again, his neck snaps by her mind. He drops dead on the floor while everyone around them screams in panic.

She widens her eyes in shock, not expecting it to go like that. She just killed a man in public brutally and now she's feeling guilty of it. She looks around the dead body and all the people terrified of their life, worrying that they'll be next. She never wanted it like this. She doesn't want to scare people to death.

Lloyd slowly smirks, ignoring the chaos around them. "Good girl, baby. Let's get out of here." he whispers in her ear and she lets him take her out of there.

What the fuck was that?

***

She's been quiet ever since they went back to their hotel room. She's waiting for Six. Lloyd's in the bathroom, cleaning himself up.

She's just sitting by the desk, staring out at the window, showing the crime scene happening downstairs. It's utter chaos. A respected politician died mysteriously, out in public. There's no evidence. Not even a trace. They'll be investigating this for ages.

But, she isn't stopping here. This is only her first. There are still more kills to come.

She's still questioning herself, though. Is this really what she wants? Killing all the corrupt politicians in the city to insinuate fear for everyone? That wasn't her purpose. She wants to clean up the city. Not make it way worse. She wants to make it better for the people in the city. And this definitely doesn't feel like it.

Suddenly, someone knocks on the door and she immediately gets up from her seat, already knowing who it is. The man she's been waiting for.

She opens the door with her mind, standing in the middle of the room. Six steps in the room and the door closes itself behind him. He looks at her with a small smile.

"Oh, you're back!" Lloyd shouts from the bathroom as he's still showering and the blonde chuckles softly.

Her lips slowly tug into a tired, relieved smile at seeing him. Wordlessly, she runs to him and throws all her weight against him as her arms wrap around him. She gets on her tiptoes and rests her head on his chest. Hugging him has always been a comfort for her. In any situation. She feels so much better once she's in his arms. She feels safe. Secured. Content.

Six's arms wrap around her back and he kisses her head. "How are you feeling?" he softly asks in her ears. The most tender voice she's ever heard. The only thing that could really comfort her. Him and his voice.

She shakes her head. "It got messy." Elle mutters against his chest.

He nods. "I know. We'll have better ones next time. You're still learning. My first was also quite messy." Six admits bluntly.

She pulls away from him, resting her hands on his shoulders. "How did it happen?"

Six sighs, looking down at her with tenderness. "Well, I was supposed to just use the sniper but… he got away. So I had to do it another way. A more brutal way. The reason they had me using a sniper for my first time is because it lets me keep my distance from the mark. It's almost the same as what you did today. But, the closer you get to the mark, the more experienced you are." he explains.

She nods, her eyes staring up at him and she gazes openly at him. She's so glad that she has him. She can't imagine doing all this alone. She needs him for this mission. Both of them. Without them, she'd probably be unstable and reckless.

He cups her face and his thumb gently caresses her skin. "It's almost getting dark. Do you want to just stay in and order room service? We can go back to the penthouse first thing tomorrow." Six softly suggests.

She hums in response, smiling up at him and he admires her quietly. She's too fucking beautiful and pure. Everytime she smiles, it feels like his cold heart is starting to fill up. She makes him better. Not just better. Whole. She accepted parts of him and embraced it. Only her. She's the only one he wants. She might just be the best, unexpected thing that could ever happen to him. He never expected anything for himself. And then, she came to him.

"Sounds like a good idea, Six." Lloyd interjects while coming out of the bathroom with his hair still wet and ruffled. He put on some gray sweatpants and a black t-shirt from his shopping earlier.

They both turn to him and she walks further into the room. "It's chaos down there." Elle remarks, gesturing to the view from their window.

Six and Lloyd stand beside each other as they both almost nod in sync. She quietly observes both men, seeing the invisible bond between them. In one full month, they've managed to become each other's most trusted partner that they've ever had in their life. They trust each other with their life. They'd kill and die for each other. They have the same admiration for her. They care for her. They're practically inseparable. She wonders if it's more than just buddies and partners. They've both seen each other naked. They've fucked her at the same time. It's not entirely impossible for them to feel something.

Lloyd looks at her, his eyes only focusing on her. "I don't think that was messy back there. But, I see your point. You hated the fact that civilians needed to witness all that. We could fix that. We'll find a much quieter place next time." he firmly tells her.

She slowly nods, her hand resting on her arm. "I don't want them to be scared, Lloyd. That's not my purpose."

He nods, understanding her. "I know. Your heart's already in the right place, Elle. It always has been. Your intentions are good." Lloyd seriously says with sincerity as he gazes openly at her from afar.

He actually meant it when he said her heart is in the right place, unlike anyone who's in the agency. Even with all the violence and chaos around her and everything horrible that's happened to her, she still managed to do good. She wants to fix and clean the city. Not burn it or corrupt it. She cares about the people in the city as well. And that's rare. He's never seen anyone so compassionate and kind like her. He knew it the moment he met her in that dingy bar.

Her eyes directly stare into his and an easy smile curves on her lips. "Right. So, we're officially staying here, right?" she asks him.

Lloyd breaks into a soft chuckle and nods. "Yes, we are. Six and I are going to the other room and do a quick debrief with the team and Denny. You clean up and relax. Order room service all you want." he explains.

Six simply nods. "Okay. Sounds like a plan." he says to him before glancing at her. "See you later, okay? Are you sure you're okay with being alone?" he asks her.

She smiles at him. "Yes. I'll be fine. You really are going to be quick?" she asks both of them.

Lloyd frowns at her. "Of course. We'll be quick for you. Promise. Okay, let's go before they knock on our room." he says, looking at the blonde.

She giggles softly as she watches Lloyd drag Six to the door. They both wave goodbye at her before they exit the room together.

The door closes behind them and silence settles in for her. Peace, as well. But she does hate being alone, especially at times like when she's stressed. It's consuming.

She's going to fix it though.

***

Finally, she got herself to relax and forget about all the mess that happened today.

She's drowning in clear, cold water inside the round bathtub of their hotel room. The only thing that could get her to relax.

She feels so calm and at ease when she's inside the water. She can't hear anything, or feel anything or think of anything at all. It's like the world doesn't exist anymore. And it's just her and the bathtub.

This bathtub isn't exactly as big and comfortable as the one they have in the penthouse, but it'll have to do for now. She didn't know how much the penthouse means to her until now as she finds herself missing it. It's her home now. It brings her so much comfort there. Plus, she feels so much safer there than here. As secure as this hotel is, it still isn't home. She can't wait to go back to the penthouse.

She tips her head up in the water, feeling more relaxed than ever. She knows it's almost been half an hour that she's inside the water. The guys haven't come back though. She's just waiting patiently for them.

Before she could even sink deeper into the water again, her phone annoyingly rings loudly beside her. She thought she placed her phone in the room to charge. Guess she just forgot. She's choosing to ignore it instead. It's probably from someone not that important.

But, after one ring, it keeps ringing again. That means the person has called her twice now. So, maybe it is a little important.

She groans, lifting herself up off the water and drying her hands with the towel next to her. Her eyes take a look at the screen still being shown on her phone and she gasps.

It's Denny. The chief. He's calling her, again.

Ever since she memorized his number from Lloyd's phone and put it on her phone, they've been regularly texting and sometimes calling. Rather, he has been texting and calling her. They don't talk much, though. He just frequently asks how things are there, how she is, how the missions were and if the agents were cooperating well or not. Just short and simple texts. But it's the most he's ever done with an asset. He really values her opinion on things. He wants to always hear her perspective first. He has her personal number. It's not strictly professional anymore between them.

Quickly but carefully, she gets out of the bathtub and dries herself. She puts on the hotel bathrobe, grabs her phone and rushes out of the bathroom.

The phone still keeps on ringing as she sits up on the bed. She answers his call and places it on her ear while leaning against the bed's headboard.

She clears her throat. "Hi. Sorry. I was in the bathroom. What's wrong?" Elle casually asks like she isn't talking to her boss anymore.

Denny sighs, turning around on his chair in his office that's overlooking the view of Croatia. He's in another CIA station again, sitting on his ass all day and debriefing missions from all around the world, just from his screen. He had just finished a debrief with the team, Lloyd and Six. He wanted one with Elle too, just much more casual and informal than a usual debrief.

"Nothing. I just wanted to ask how the mission was. I know how important it was for you." Denny calmly asks her and she bites her lips anxiously.

"Well… I didn't expect it to be like that. I thought I could just make it less gory. It was in a public mall. Everyone was there and they had to watch that horrible scene." she naively says.

He clicks his tongue. "I don't think that was horrible. I think it was the cleanest kill I've witnessed in the CIA. You did good. There's nothing to feel bad about. We'll make the next ones less public." Denny assures her.

She nods to herself as she hums in response. "Okay. Oh, by the way, weren't you just doing a debrief with Lloyd and Six?" Elle asks him.

He hums affirmatively. "Yes. I was. It was done. Now they're briefing their own team. How are they, speaking of?" he suddenly asks.

"The team?" she innocently asks before realizing what he actually meant by it.

"No, Lloyd and Six. How are they to you? Do they treat you well? I know Lloyd can be a little stubborn sometimes. It takes time to adjust." Denny asks her again.

She realized that his question was plainly asking if they treated her well as a teammate. He doesn't know anything about their relationship at all. And he shouldn't. It'd be unprofessional and weird. Even though this thing between them already is.

She turns her eyes toward the view as she massages her temples. "Yeah, they've been decent to me. I mean, they've never had someone to work with so it did take time to adjust. But, living together certainly made it easier for us to tolerate each other." Elle gives him a logical answer that wouldn't lead to him suspecting anything.

Denny hums quietly. "That's good. If they're ever misbehaving or disrespectful, let me know."

She nods. "Okay. I will."

"Good. You did a good job out there today. I'm saying it again because you really did." Denny tells her and she hums affirmatively.

Suddenly, from afar, the hotel door makes that annoying beeping noise when the key card scans the door. It opens and she could already hear Lloyd and Six entering the room while having a conversation. And then, she just realized that Denny can't know that they're sharing a room together. He knows that they booked a few rooms in this hotel for the mission but he'd obviously assume that she has her own room.

She clears her throat, quickly getting up from the bed as she walks to the window so he can't hear the men in the background. "Right, so, I'm gonna go. It's almost dinner time here and I am starving after that mission." She makes up a fake excuse.

"Alright, talk to you later." Denny formally says before she hangs up the call. She places her phone on the desk beside her and walks to them like normal.

Lloyd steps in further into the room with Six behind him. She smiles at them as she approaches them with a bathrobe still on.

He frowns at her. "Were you just on the phone with Denny?" Lloyd bitterly asks. He's not too fond of their interactions lately.

She casually nods as Six goes to stand beside her in the middle of their room. His hand gently wrapped around her lower back, turning to her with a relaxed face.

"I can't wait to get in that bed with you and not think of anything ever again." Six murmurs sweetly to her as she giggles softly.

Lloyd frowns, stepping forward to her. "Elle. Could you stop calling him? It's disturbing." he grumbles.

She looks at him, knitting her eyebrows. "What's wrong? We're just casually talking. Platonically." she confirms.

He scowls. "Yeah, that's the point. You're not even supposed to be platonic with him. You're just supposed to keep your distance because he's your boss. It's better that way." Lloyd states firmly.

Her eyes bore into his. "You don't control me, Lloyd. I don't see anything wrong with us just talking. He asks me how I am and how the mission is. That's it."

"Nothing more than that?" he asks her, his eyes glaring at her as his jaw tenses.

She shakes her head casually before frowning. "No. I'd never cheat on you, dumbass. You're too good to be cheated on." Elle cracks a joke with a small smile on her lips.

Six lets out a light chuckle at seeing Lloyd speechless. "She's too good for us, isn't she?" The blonde teases him.

Lloyd hides a smile on his lips before rolling his eyes. "Whatever. I'm starving. Let's order room service." he declares as Six and her exchange knowing looks.

***

Despite everything that happened today, she seems to be better now. With them. In the privacy of their hotel room, enjoying every moment they can.

After they had dinner in the living room of the hotel room, they each did their own thing.

Six went to shower, Lloyd's doing some work on his laptop right beside her on the bed and she's just quietly reading a book, also on the bed. They're both already dressed for bed.

It's not that late, but they're both tired and just want to relax. The city lights luminates on them and it's even brighter here than in their penthouse. They're in the center of the city. It overlooks the view of the whole city, not just a small part of it like what they're used to seeing.

"What book is that?" Lloyd suddenly asks her, still actively typing on his laptop.

She frowns confusedly, focused on her book. "Since when are you interested?"

He nods. "You're right, I'm not. I kinda just want to throw that book away from you and pull in for a kiss." Lloyd bluntly admits, not looking at her yet. He's teasing her.

She scoffs, putting her book down on her lap as she playfully rolls her eyes. "Put that laptop away, then. You can do it tomorrow. We have all the time in the world." Elle says, turning her body to him.

Lloyd finally looks down at her and her playful smile before giving in to her. "Fine." he mutters, closing his laptop as he places it on the nightstand beside him.

He turns to her, wrapping his hand around her waist as she giggles and leans her body against his side. Her pretty, tired eyes look up at him and smiles warmly.

Her body curls up against him as she rests her hands on his chest. She sighs contentedly, enjoying him like this. "I like you better this way. Calm and tamed." she remarks.

His face approaches hers. "I was never like this before. You did this." he tells her seriously, close to her face and their lips are inches from touching.

Her smile widens. "Are you glad that I did?" she slowly asks.

Lloyd nods almost immediately, staring down at her lips. "Yeah. I am." he softly answers before leaning down and kissing her lips gently at first. This is the first kiss they've had in almost a week.

She moans softly into his mouth, melting into the kiss and her hands reach up to his jaw. "We haven't kissed for ages." she complains.

He chuckles against her mouth. "You're exaggerating, sweetheart." Lloyd retorts.

She frowns, breaking the kiss. "No, I am not." Elle pulls away from him, "You haven't touched me for over two weeks. And, no, that night in our home theater doesn't count."

Lloyd sighs in defeat, his eyes gazing openly at her as he quietly admires her facial features. She's so fucking beautiful and gorgeous even when she's tired and has just murdered someone. To his eyes, she's the most perfect thing in the world. He'd never find anyone like her. Ruthless and pretty at the same time. She's not always ruthless though, she still could be kind and compassionate because it's who she is. It's in her nature. That's what he loves about her.

He shrugs off his thoughts. "I wanted to give you space. You know, after what happened." Lloyd finally answers truthfully.

Wait a minute—

She frowns again, that crinkle between her eyebrows revealing which he's already so familiar with. "But, I'm fine now. I healed completely. Psychically and mentally. I'm not some fragile fucking baby. I handled it well after. I got something good out of it, too."

Lloyd knits his eyebrows in confusion. "Yeah? Like what?" he asks her.

Then, she smiles up at him. That pretty fucking smile with her dimples and teeth showing. He's so addicted to it. It's one of his favorite things about her. He could start a whole list of it.

She blinks at him. "You saved my life. And now I know just how much you care about me." she sweetly murmurs, taking his hand to guide to her heart, just below her tank top. Her hand is on top of his as he feels her heartbeat against his hand. "Feel that? It beats for you now, Lloyd. You saved it."

His hand rests on her heart, beside her breasts. "You don't have to be so cheesy about it. But yeah, I'd do it again in a heartbeat." Lloyd firmly states and her smile lingers for him.

The bathroom door opens as Six comes out of it, with only his briefs and a white t-shirt. His hair is still wet from the shower. He casually walks to her side of the bed while shooting Lloyd a passing glance. She watches his every movement, paying close attention to his large, thick thighs that are showing off his muscles.

"What happened to your pants?" Lloyd asks him, genuinely. He thought that he had bought some extra sweatpants earlier.

"Didn't want to wear them. It's too humid." Six flatly replies as he makes his way to her, laying next to her on the bed. She's between them again. Sandwiched with two needy men.

He sits up as she turns her body around to him and she immediately smiles. "Hi," she mutters to him while Lloyd rolls his eyes at their disgusting cuteness. They don't even have to say anything sometimes. They could just look into each other's eyes and know what they're thinking.

Six looks down at her, cupping her face before grabbing her chin gently. He leans to press a soft kiss on her mouth, his lips slowly stretching into a smile against her lips. He's just happy to be here, safe and sound with her.

"Hi." he whispers and pulls away from her lips. He stares into her pretty, brown eyes. "What do you want to do now?" he asks her.

Lloyd smirks, glaring at him. "You know, there are a lot of things to do together in a hotel room, Six. A lot of fun things." he teases them.

She sighs before yawning tiredly. "While that sounds fun, I'm kinda worn out after today. But, I mean, if you guys want to do something, feel free to do it while I'm asleep. I have a special kink for that." she teases, glancing between them before winking smoothly.

"You have a what? How does that even work, Elle? How could you be turned on by something if you're fully asleep?" Lloyd asks so many questions. He's curious, but also genuinely concerned about the amount of kinks she has.

She laughs softly, moving to the side as she rests her body on Six's chest. She turns her head to Lloyd, still smiling for him. "Well, I'd have to be half awake, technically. You just gotta find a way to wake me up, I guess." she plainly explains.

Lloyd frowns, cocking his head to the side and taking a moment to think about it. He's never heard of a kink like that, because in order for it to work, it needs to be done in an established relationship but he's never had one before. It needs a lot of consent and trust beforehand. He has that all with her, though they're not necessarily in a relationship. None of them even know what it is. But, they trust each other and would kill if anything happens to one of them so that's more than enough.

Elle looks up at the man laying behind her. "Hey, can you pass my phone please? It's over there," she nicely asks him and he quickly looks over to where she's pointing her finger at. He reaches over to the nightstand beside him and grabs her phone, handing it to her.

She takes the phone in her hands and smiles up at him. "Thank you." she thanks him quietly as he just returns her smile. She doesn't even have to thank him, he'd do anything for her whenever she asks.

Opening her phone, she quietly scrolls through her apps to find the camera app. She scoots over to the middle with both men glued to each side of her. Wordlessly, she quickly aims her phone screen in front of them and takes one selfie. She smiles in it and both men just look confused, staring into the camera.

Six is caught off guard and Lloyd frowns at her. She looks back at them, plainly.

She shrugs at him. "What? I'm not gonna post it anywhere or something. I'm not an idiot. It's just for memories. I don't have a single picture of any of you on my phone." she defends.

Lloyd nods, his eyes staring down at her. "Yeah, but you can't keep that, Elle. Six, take it from her." he orders the blonde behind her.

Six tries to grab her phone from her hands but she dodges him. Lloyd quickly pulled her in closer by her waist, dropping his head down to leave kisses along her neck to tickle her with his stache. She giggles uncontrollably, her grip on her phone starting to get loose as Six takes it from her hands, placing it down on the nightstand. He doesn't delete it though, he does want her to have the picture.

She pulls her neck away from Lloyd and cups his jaw. "Assholes!" Elle exclaims at both of them, looking behind her.

Lloyd lets out a hearty laugh at her reaction, throwing his head back as Six laughs loosely with him. They both haven't had a good laugh like this for a while. She's the only one truly capable of making them laugh genuinely. The only one they'd want to spend their entire shitty mission with.

Lloyd sighs. "You can take pictures of us. Just not in a unsecure phone. We'll get a polaroid or something." he tells her in a serious but sincere tone. He understands why she took that picture. Because when one day, they're not going to see each other again then the only thing they'd have are memories.

She nods. "Okay, fine. But I'm still keeping that one. Even if you delete it, I'll just retrieve it back again." she warns, her finger pointing at him.

He frowns. "You can hack your own phone or something?"

She smirks at him. "Don't underestimate me, Lloyd. My brain is much more developed than an average human being. So, don't fuck with me or my phone."

"Right. Tell me what you can't do, then." Lloyd teases and she laughs softly.

She leans her body onto his, looking up at him through her eyelashes. "You, apparently."

He tips his head back onto the bed's headboard. "Oh, come on. I'm sorry, okay? What happened two weeks ago was so fucked up and I wanted to give us space. Maybe, to think about it again." Lloyd softly admits. He can be soft, sometimes. With the right motivation.

She shrugs, furrowing her eyebrows lightly. "What's there to think about? Do you think we're a mistake?" she asks him.

Lloyd grimaces at her words. "No, not a mistake. I don't think it's a mistake. I think it's the best fucking thing to ever happen. To all of us. I just… Maybe we could've given it a little more time. We did everything so quickly. Because what if we're doing it all wrong and then we're just going to fuck it up in the end? I don't want that." he explains to her, a hint of fear almost evident in his tone.

She knits her eyebrows. "I don't know what you're referring to, Lloyd. What do you mean by 'it'? Tell me. Do you think we're in a relationship?" Elle carefully asks since the question has never popped up before. She knew he hated relationships and probably have never been in a lasting one.

He frowns confusedly, trying to figure this all out. "I—I don't know? Maybe? Yes? What do you think, Six?" Lloyd asks the man behind her for advice. He's completely lost in this. He is stressed out.

Six meets his eyes as he breaks into a small smile. "I think it's more complicated than a relationship or anything that could be labeled. We work together, we live together and we fuck together. We share almost everything together. It's special what we have and rare. We've never done anything like this before with anyone else."

Lloyd nods, immediately agreeing with him before looking back at her eyes. "See? What he said." he says, grabbing both of her hands to hold them gently. "Look, Elle, I couldn't really give a shit about labels. What matters is us. We're together and I don't want to fuck this up in any way." he tells her, seriously.

He has never confessed anything like this before or expressed his true feelings to anyone. There's a first for everything. Especially with her. He's done so many things with her that never in a million years he'd thought he'd do for anyone. He'd never try so hard to save anyone's life. Ever. Wouldn't even bat his eyes if someone was dying in front of him. Doesn't even matter if he might even know them. Anyone could kill themselves beside him, he wouldn't care. No one has ever mattered this much to him until her.

Elle slowly smiles up at him. "You could start by fucking me for one. For the record, I don't think you're going to fuck it up because you've done a good enough job. You saved my fucking life. I owe you my life, Lloyd. That's not nothing. We both mean a lot to each other to ever just mess it up so easily. But, you know, if you meant it by accidentally sticking your dick inside of someone else then—"

Lloyd quickly grimaces in disgust, shaking his head. "Hey, no, fuck no. I would never do that to you. Plus, you've got the best fucking pussy in the world so why even bother looking anywhere else?" he teases with that stupid smirk of his that's undeniably attractive for her.

She lifts her eyebrows in surprise. "Really? Is it because of my strength? Because I've never used my strength in bed with anyone else before you guys. I still had to keep it a secret." she genuinely asks. Six stays quiet. He isn't going to say anything about this because he's got a feeling she already knows.

Lloyd nods. "Yeap. You also give really good hand jobs because of it." He casually compliments her.

She hums in realization. "Well, that's why you'll never be bored of my hands." she states.

His lips curve into a bigger smirk, getting near her face. "Exactly, sunshine." he replies.

Six shakes his head, chuckling quietly. "I thought you wanted to sleep." he reminds her.

Elle rolls over to his side of the bed and nods. "Yeah, I still am. I'm getting sleepy already." she answers, yawning softly.

Lloyd pats her back and pulls the white, thick hotel blanket to spread equally on all three of them. "Okay, go to sleep, sunshine. I'm going to finish some work. I'll wake you up if something interesting happens." he tells her, grabbing his laptop from the nightstand.

She tugs into the bed, getting more comfortable as she leans her body against Six. He wraps his arm around her and she lays her head down on his chest. "Wake me up if your dick gets hard too. I don't mind it at all." she casually says and Six snorts, holding in a laugh.

Lloyd scoffs, chuckling softly and he's opening his laptop to start working again. "I will. Good night, Elle. Sweet dreams."

She hums sleepily, already shutting her eyes closed with her legs tangled with Six's as he waits for her to fall asleep. He's not going to sleep just yet. He can't. It's too early for him and he's got a lot to talk with Lloyd. But he'd rather not have her listen to whatever they're about to say.

Sleep takes over her quickly and she's finally asleep peacefully.

***

While Lloyd tries to finish his work as quickly as possible, the guys continue to carry on a casual, quiet conversation. She's still sleeping quietly on Six’s chest.

She sleeps like the dead when she's with him. She's always been so comfortable with him. Not a single care in the world as long as she's in his arms, safe and sound.

Six stares at him intently, his eyes playing close attention to Lloyd's focused and serious face, suddenly. His eyebrows are furrowed and his fingers type quickly on the keyboard. He's almost done with his work and it's crucial for him to get it right. He can't make mistakes. He's an extreme perfectionist. And he'd hate to redo this all over again.

"You know, you can sleep if you want. I know you're getting tired. It's late, Six." Lloyd softly suggests to him, still looking at his laptop screen.

He lets out a quiet yawn as he nods. "You're right. Hey, don't stay up too late." he reminds him.

Lloyd gently scoffs and a small smile pulls into his lips. "Sure. I just need to finish this tonight so I can spend more time with her. And, you."

"Wel, just don't deprive yourself of sleep. It's important to have at least eight hours of sleep a night." Six tells him, really out of character for him.

He frowns, glancing at him from the side. "Oh? Since when did you become like a dad or something? You used to sleep for only two or three hours per night. Sometimes you don't even sleep at all." Lloyd reminds him in case he somehow forgot who he used to be.

Court chuckles lightly, shaking his head. "I haven't become a dad, Lloyd. I've just got more time to actually sleep more in a long time. And, you know, she has an early sleep routine, so." he says.

"Still, it's weird seeing you like this. Also, who knows? Maybe, you could become a dad in the future. It already suits you." Lloyd nicely remarks.

He's complimenting him. And subtly telling him that he'd be a good dad. With her. He'll just be mom and dad's friend who always visits the house. He's not a very good person to have children and he's completely aware of it.

"It's impossible for her to get pregnant, Lloyd. Scientifically. Her words." Six casually explains, already assuming that she's in his future.

He didn't even ask who with. He automatically thought of her because she's all he thinks about. He does see her in his own future even though he rarely thinks about the future itself. He's always thinking of the present and sometimes, the past.

Lloyd nods. "I know, but still. Miracles could happen."

Six frowns confusedly at him. "Since when do you believe in miracles?" he asks him.

He just shakes his head, not answering his question. He refuses to admit the truth to him. That she changed him. Really, truly changed him. The man hated false hopes, especially miracles. But she is the living example of a miracle and he witnessed it himself. "Whatever, go to sleep, Six." he tells him.

Court casually nods. "Okay, good night." he simply says, sliding his body lower and closer to her. His temple rests against hers before he plants a soft kiss on her head. He closes his eyes, relaxing under her touch as he drifts to sleep.

Lloyd stops typing on his laptop to stop and look at them. His two most favorite people on earth. Sleeping so peacefully like nothing else matters anymore. They both feel so safe and secure around him. Him, too. They're his only home. The only one that matters. He's the luckiest man alive to have both of them in his life. He sure feels very damn lucky.

It must be a miracle.

***

This morning is magical for her.

The sun is shining beautifully. Breakfast is served. Laughter fills the room. Her flowy sundress from yesterday is clinging onto her body again. The boys are right beside her, bickering playfully.

All her problems from yesterday went out of the window the second this morning started for her.

They're back home in their penthouse again. And they decided to spend today in their private indoor pool, on the third floor of their place. It has an enormous view of the city. They've never been here before. They checked out from their hotel pretty early in the morning so they could enjoy the rest of it here.

Lloyd ordered them breakfast. She made them fresh smoothies. Six carried everything from downstairs to here. She's sitting on one of the long pool benches between them. They haven't touched the water yet but they're definitely planning to. Either voluntarily or not.

"So, you know the picture I took of all of us last night, in the hotel room? Yeah, I'm going to print it out and put it in a photo frame for my room." Elle announces, her hands gesturing a picture frame.

"Almost like a polaroid." Lloyd remarks, smirking proudly at her for listening to him. His advice is starting to grow on her.

She looks at him and smiles, squinting her eyes through the sunlight reflecting from the huge window beside the infinity pool. "Yeah, exactly like a polaroid."

His lips curve into an actual genuine smile and somehow, he can't stop smiling like an idiot. "Right. So, who's going to dive in the water first?" Lloyd asks them.

Elle immediately shakes her head. "Not me. If you're pushing me in there, I'll punch you in your dick, Lloyd. I mean it." she warns, her index finger pointing at him.

Six lets out a loose laugh, adjusting his sunglasses. He's only in shorts and a thin navy shirt while leaning his back on the bench. "He enjoys that shit, Elle." he retorts, glancing over at them.

Lloyd's smile turns into a smirk, leaning closer to her. "Well, he's right, sunshine."

She smiles wider, her beautiful dimples showing. "Yeah, but you won't be able to handle my strength. I'd break your dick off, Hansen." she teases him in an innocent tone.

His hands rest on each side of her chair, trapping her. "You know I fucking can." Lloyd's voice turns low.

She rolls her eyes at him, hiding a smile before looking at the pool for a second. It is good weather to swim in. "Looks like we're jumping together, then." she whispers, caughting him off guard.

Lloyd frowns, about to protest but it's too late as she wraps her hands around his waist and pulls both of them to jump into the pool. She's too strong for him to handle sometimes. They both land inside the water, staying underwater for a while. Six chuckles softly from outside.

She opens her eyes underwater and he does too. Their clothes are floating and somehow, none of them want to get up. They stare into each other's eyes intensely as her heart starts to race. She doesn't get why this is turning her on so much. The tension between them is so thick even under the water. Her face gets closer to him before grabbing his jaw roughly and connecting her lips into his.

She kisses him passionately and wildly under the water, not giving a shit of anything else anymore. His hands wander on her ass, his lips biting hers into the kiss and they almost forgot that they've been holding their breath. She's immune to drowning and he's held his breath longer than a few couple of minutes.

Six frowns confusedly, wondering why it's taking them so long to get out of the water. He rises up from his bench and slowly dips himself inside the pool, the depth only reaching his shoulders. He might be too tall for this pool. He doesn't even remember when's the last time he's been in a pool for fun. Without trying to escape or fighting some guy or drowning someone.

He looks down at the water and squints his eyes to properly see what they're actually doing. Their bodies are both bent and sunken into the water while they're holding each other's bodies as their lips seem to be stuck together. They're making out underwater. What a romantic way to start the morning. He's so glad that they're finally close again after two weeks. He's proud of them. His lips form into a small smile at the sight of it.

Lloyd grasps her waist as he brings both of their bodies out of the water. Her lips are still attached to his and he pulls away from her to catch his breath. She giggles softly before realizing that Six is already behind them.

"Looked like a nice spot to makeout." Six remarks, suddenly completely different from how he usually is. He's loosening up, finally.

She turns around to him and immediately stares down at his lips. She is in heat. "Yeah, how long can you hold your breath for?" Elle asks him, breathlessly.

He casually shrugs. "Ten minutes, maybe? It's not the longest I've held my breath for but it's my maximum limit for now."

She nods, heavily breathing. "Good. Let's test that out." she demands and there's hesitation written all over his face. He doesn't want to turn this into a competition or something. He knows how competitive she and Lloyd are.

Lloyd snorts. "Trying to compare who's the best kisser underwater, Elle?" He taunts her and she rolls her eyes.

"Fuck off. You're just scared of a little competition, Lloyd. You always are." She coldly insults him and she is right.

He scoffs. "You're so mean sometimes. Meaner than me. Turns me on so much." Lloyd admits as she turns around to him. Somehow, he's attracted to women who are way worse than him. She made him realize that. He's never met anyone as bad as her.

She smirks, then smiles genuinely. Her smile is so fucking beautiful that it pains him. He won't be able to witness this smile forever. "I've never met anyone like you too." she confesses back.

Six swims closer to her, wrapping his hand around her waist and stares into the other man's eyes. "There's not going to be a competition, right? I'd like to just enjoy this morning peacefully."

He chuckles lightly. "See? You're starting to act like an old dad again." Lloyd taunts him.

She frowns, looking over her shoulder at him. "What does he mean by that?" she asks him.

Court smiles softly at her. "Just some stupid joke he made last night. I told him that I've been sleeping earlier than I've ever been and then he called me a dad." he explains.

Elle stops to think about that for a while. Even though it's just some silly joke, she wishes that it's true. She's never actually thought about them like that because it's too fast. They've only been together for a month. But a lot has happened and it has affected her life so much. They feel like home for her and they're the only family she has in the world. The only one who matters anyway. Maybe, if the circumstances were different, she'd want to start a family with them. She may not be capable of being a mom biologically, but there are millions of ways now. It just takes the right parents and a safe home.

She snaps herself back to reality, clearing her throat and smiling. "So, what's the agenda for today?" she asks him.

Lloyd smiles almost immediately. "Swimming. Eating. More swimming. Drinks by the balcony. Movies in the home theater. We haven't touched that room yet, you know, for actual movies." He lists all of them down, and refers to something else that happened a few weeks ago.

Her face grimaces into disgust and laughs. "Oh, please don't remind me of that. Hope you cleaned the carpets." she hopes he did.

Six frowns confusedly, trying to figure out what they're talking about until it dawns on him. The thing that happened in their home theater which he had to witness from the door. He laughs softly, shaking his head.

Lloyd laughs loosely at her, throwing his head back as he holds his stomach from laughing too hard. He can't recall the last time he laughed like this. They haven't had a good laugh for a while too because of what happened a few weeks ago and he's been avoiding her to give space. But, the mission yesterday made them closer again and she's grateful for that. Despite all the shit she's been through over this month, she got something good out of it. Them. Her real home.

She smiles faintly at him. "Seems like a good plan." She agrees on his agenda for today since there aren't any new missions yet. Denny gave her a short break after yesterday.

Six drops his head down to kiss her shoulder as he smiles against her skin. She giggles softly, her hand reaching out to his. Lloyd nods, his eyes quietly observing them and he starts to admire their bond. He could clearly see their deep connection for each other without even having to say anything. They could talk with their eyes and their touch.

That's something he wishes he could have one day with her. It will definitely take some time but he's willing to wait. For her. However long it takes. She's worth the wait. She's worth everything in the world to him. He could never find anyone as precious as her. Ever.

Court's eyes look up at him and he knows exactly what he's thinking. He always does. They have a strong bond, too.

***

Elle got out of the pool to get some more snacks and drinks upstairs while the guys remained inside the water. She grabbed a bathrobe with her as she took the elevator, still soaking wet.

But, she could care less about anything anymore. She's happy again. Finally after a while. There's no other problems between them. Everyone's being honest and open now. Lloyd isn't avoiding her anymore. Six is much happier too. They're closer than ever, Everything's all great as of this moment. Nothing could ever make their happy bubble burst.

Stepping out of the elevator, she walks into their kitchen to go to the fridge. As she opens it and takes out three cold water bottles, her phone on the counter top rings loudly. Her ringtone is very loud and irritating but it's effective for her ears to not miss a call. She places the bottles on the surface beside her phone before looking at the screen.

It's Denny again. Two times in less than twenty four hours now. What's wrong with him? He doesn't usually call his assets constantly and has their personal number. She isn't weirded out with all the casual stuff with him because she thinks it's normal. She doesn't know the real boundary between an asset and the chief.

She tilts her head to the side and frowns confusedly before picking up the call. Her ears are still wet so she puts him on speaker. "Yes? Did something happen?" she casually asks him.

He clears his throat through the call. "Are you alone? I have some classified information. It's sensitive." Denny immediately says, wasting no time.

She nods. "Yeah, I am. What is it?" she quickly responds.

He reviews the documents on his laptop. "Elle, that incident a few weeks ago was a set up from the local police and corrupt government officials. Lloyd wanted to investigate more and so did I. We worked together with our field agents there. They intentionally released those criminals so they'd find out who threw them into jail. However they failed to do so because Six eliminated them after they shot you. They did all this because they were scared of you. What you could do in the city. They'd rather hunt you down instead of doing their own job of catching the criminals. That's how corrupted they are." Denny informs her in his most serious tone she's ever heard.

Just as life was getting slightly better for her, it hit her like a thunder. Lloyd never told her anything about an investigation. He should've told her. This is important for her to know. She didn't think that the corruptors would go to these extreme lengths just to find out who was helping them do their job. They released them, gave them a loaded gun and told them to go to the local hospital to terrorize and harm innocents. Sick patients, doctors, nurses who were all uninvolved in this mess. The corruptors did not care about them. Only of themselves and their money. She needs to fix this sooner than she thought she would.

She runs her hand through her wet hair and exhales. "Why are you telling me this?" she softly asks him. She's back to being distressed again. Lloyd's known about the investigation for weeks and said nothing. Perhaps, he thinks she wouldn't be able to handle the truth.

Denny sighs. "I'm not supposed to but you deserve to know for your mission. So you could focus more on hunting them down instead of feeling bad after every mission, like yesterday. I can start giving you these missions when you're ready. You can do it all alone. You're capable of it. I know you are." he encourages her, trying to manipulate her into killing more corrupt politicians. He's a twisted man and he's not doing this for her. It's for himself. He's using her as his own personal weapon. It has been what he's always wanted the moment he first saw her.

This is the only time she's ever been so blind and naïve with someone. She can't think too far of his intentions because she's too angry to see it. Blinded with her own rage. Lloyd lied to her face. He clearly got all this information already from last night when he was reviewing paperwork. That's why he looked so serious and intense. She connected all the dots by now. She's too smart for him. She guesses he conveniently forgot about that fact. He was right when he said he'd fucked this up with her. He did it. He sabotaged whatever thing they had going on. He's ruined it already. He just messed up the one good thing in his life.

Elle nods to herself, leaning on the countertop with her hands on it. "Okay, give me a few weeks to prepare. Keep it classified and don't let Lloyd know about our mission." she seriously tells him. She's never been this tense before in her life.

"Of course. Whatever you need." Denny immediately answers before she ends the call.

In truth, Denny is so much worse than Lloyd. He uses people for his own gain but this time, it's different with her. He had to gain her trust first which was easy since she's inexperienced with the CIA and their tactics. He's fond of her, too. He likes how powerful she is and he sees her real potential. He could make her more than just some shadowy asset. She could work by his side. As an equal. He wants that with her. He could give her everything in the world. Anything that she wants, it can be hers. They could be so powerful together. So many things that they could accomplish in the world. It's his darkest fantasy.

She walks away from the kitchen counter and turns around to the view of the city. It's the same view that they're looking at upstairs too right now. She's contemplating on everything now and questioning if it's the right thing to do. But, there's no other option. They're too corrupted to be salvaged. The only language they understand is violence. They were responsible for that horrible, traumatic event that she had to endure. The horrific pain of eight bullets inside of her was unimaginable. Not to mention that Six had watched her suffer like that.

She's doing all this for a good cause, actually. If all the corruption in the city is gone, she can finally start a new life and a fresh start somewhere that's not here. Hopefully with Six, as well.

As for Lloyd, well, she's still trying to figure that out. She doesn't exactly want to let him go or leave him. She has cared too much about him to do that. She does genuinely enjoy his company despite his sociopathic tendencies. She actually got to know the real him and he isn't so bad after all. She likes how he takes care of her and would sacrifice the world just for her. He did save her life. She won't let this be the end of them. She'll secretly investigate why he did what he did. For now, she's giving him the benefit of the doubt. She won't let one single lie define him. She has trusted him enough.

And that's how badly she's fallen for him.

[pocket-lad]

What was Ian’s POV/thinking when he saw the T-rex was sticking its head into the tent of Sarah, Kelly, and Adelaide? (The three most important women in his life all in danger and out of reach!)

GOOD QUESTION!! Here's how I think it went down:

~

Ian wasn’t always the hero. He never was, and he never would be. Now more than ever, he had people who he cared about and who cared about him, and he supposed that made him act more heroic than usual. It was incredibly inconvenient, but he guessed he liked it. It was better than the alternative, anyway. And so really, that just made Ian Malcolm human.

A human who wasn’t used to exhibiting care, at that. Sometimes he screwed up. Sometimes he made the cowardly choice. It wasn’t something he was proud of, but it happened. In fact, he could classify now as one of those instances.

The telltale quakes were the first thing to alert him to the T-Rex’s presence. And then it was there, sticking its enormous, scaly snout in the tent where the only three people in his life who were worth a damn currently slept.

Everything froze. Ian wanted to say his mind told him to run over and help but his body made him freeze. Or maybe his body told him to run over and help but his mind made him freeze. Neither was true, though. Every single ounce of Ian’s being told him to freeze, because this wasn’t some bully he could go up to and punch in the jaw. This was an angry, prehistoric animal the size of a building that could kill him and everyone around him in an instant.

Ian’s mind instantly transported back to that day when he was nearly killed in an instant by the same kind of dinosaur. The terror coursing through his veins when he suddenly couldn’t feel his body, when he went completely airborne. The crash into the hut. The stabbing pain that shot up his leg and forced him to black out. The confusion of waking up in a dark, stormy world, not knowing if his best friend was dead or alive. Or if he would even survive.

Ian’s bum leg was a physical manifestation and constant reminder of the fear he felt that night. So it wasn’t any coincidence the pain flared up now, as he stared down a full Tyrannosaurus Rex looking to make a meal out of the three people he loved more than anything.

But these women were smart and capable. They’d know to hold still and they’d do everything right and they’d get themselves out because they were the smartest and most capable people he knew. Logically, there was nothing Ian could do to help them.

The terrified scream of an unknown man brought Ian back to his senses. After the initial scare subsided and the reality of the situation sunk in, he didn’t know how long he’d been standing there. But it was far too long. To his horror, nobody emerged from the tent yet, which meant he needed to get them out now. He chided himself for his hesitation as he ran in that direction, but another man distractedly plowed full force into him as he too tried to get away from the Rex, shoving Ian to the ground if it could buy him a spare few seconds.

Ian couldn’t get up. The running and shouting of dozens of men along with the raging storm disoriented him enough, but the T-Rex’s stomping and roaring sent him over the edge, his bearings completely lost. It was coming in his direction, so he took cover under a log and hoped for the best.

Time passed. Everything was a blur. The screaming subsided and the earthquakes disappeared. The world around him was completely devoid of human beings. He had to find them.

***

The world is an unpredictable, scary place. It's impossible to stay one step ahead of anything, and anyone who tried would be doing so in vain. Ian lived by those words, but he relentlessly turned that night over and over again in his mind. The clear image of Sarah, Adelaide, and Kelly all cornered in a fabric prison by such a monstrous creature, while exaggerated in his imagination, plagued him nonetheless.

Ian hated himself for his choices that day, subconscious or not. Everyone had trauma. He wasn’t special for his. He should have acted and he shouldn’t have justified himself through the competence of Sarah, Adelaide, and Kelly. Even if they did find their own way out in the end, just like he knew they would.

It was a miracle they all made it out relatively unscathed, and for that, Ian was incredibly grateful. But the dread that overcame him when the T-Rex found them and the panic that followed were feelings he’d never forget.

All of these self-loathing thoughts added up to an irritatingly unproductive mindset, so Ian did what he did best. He buried those thoughts deep in a vault in the back of his brain, locked them inside, and threw away the key.

[doomed-era]

hm. thoughts on mipha? maybe how she thought about the calamity + how she’d think of the other champions (if. you havent answered this already!)

ohoho well :) if you insist

haha as far as the calamity goes she has got. the Dread and she has got it bad. even though some of the other champions' outlook on defeating calamity ganon is optimistic (even gaffen thinks everything is going to be fine), mipha is really...not super confident in the whole thing. she keeps this to herself most of the time, and really thinks she's overthinking it most of the time, but she still has a looming sense of dread about the whole thing. she talks with vah ruta about it occasionally. daruk has told her that the best thing to do about it is to make plans for the future, so she has done a bit of that! they've talked about meeting up on death mountain once everything is over. she tries to keep herself busy with projects. she really likes weaving and crafting in general god I just imagined her weaving a little turtle somewhere on the zora armor throws up. her favorite animal is turtles.

she's afraid of dying and afraid of living and afraid of giving up but can't see herself winning. you know. the general looming horror of existence. embracing your death because you're lonely and the walls you've built around yourself are too terrible to bring down. idk.

she is terrified by the prospect of having to potentially lose her life fighting the calamity, well. she's always lived for other people and doesn't really take her own health or safety in mind much. really funny because she'll absolutely get on other people's cases for doing the same thing she does. if gaffen and her were closer they'd constantly piss each other off bc of this and i think its hilarious

ultimately the only thing that really stays in her mind as a reason to look forward to things is living for people she thinks can be genuine. she loves her little brother because she thinks he can show his feelings where she just. can't. because that would mean not being a fuckin doormat and she thinks she's morally obligated to be one for her people's sake lmao. this is part of the reason shes so obsessed with gaffen because she thought he was a genuine person when he was little and now he's not so she's like. maybe we could learn how to be real people together. or maybe just with ourselves. its more of a subconscious thing she doesnt actively think this but shes such an i can fix him girl. stop

sorry for going on a tangent about mipha I dont even generally like quiet passive characters whose canon personality boils down to love interest I just decided she was a people pleaser and everyone around turned her into a saint when she wasnt and she was never truly known um throws myself into a pit of flames. heaven forbid i read too much into implications. i love women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now where was I. oh yeah the champions.

i've already partially explained her relationship with revali long story short she doesn't like him. example of a guy who needs to shut up Immediately. which isnt to say she wouldnt like to get along with him he seems like a person who has good qualities she just wishes he would shut up, so she gets passive aggressive around him

daruk!! ok they actually do really like each other because how could you not like daruk cmon. he's seen through her polite facade a few times and seen how scared she is so he's tried to help her out a bit and she appreciates it a lot :] (yea I know gaffen and mipha both like him its that magnetic extrovert guy charm and I really like introvert-extrovert dynamics)

daruk and urbosa are actually good friends lmao so daruk has passed some of what he knows onto her. so yea mipha also likes her. appreciates her advice quite a bit they train together sometimes!! shes really interested in gerudo jewelry as well she has a few pieces urbosa has given her as a gift and she's given urbosa some zora pieces

so yeah

[janaknandini-singh999]

So i needddd to get something off my chest

I'm bi and my mom is pretty okay with her child being bi. And I want to come out to her. But the thing is she felt something fishy was going on and went through my texts where I had come out to a friend, and she confronted me about that and a bunch of other things in the chat. And by her tone, it felt like she thought I was just "experimenting" and I was too young to know. So i doubt she genuinely even thinks I'm bi. So why am I scared to come out even though she is supportive of queers and half educated about my scene? Cause in the chat I had texted about me having a huge crush on a teacher, and my mom knew who that teacher was. And I know for a fact that she read it. But she has never uttered a word about it. And I'm afraid when I come out she'll ask me about it. And then I'd simply die right there.

Maybe give her some time before you come out coz she already has an idea now that you're queer but it's not necessary that supportive adults are instantly supportive of their own kids being queer coz some subconscious level conditioning is still there even in supportive people. Coz of that they may take some time to come around the fact of you liking women and besides maybe your mom wants you to come out to her first and listen to it all in your own words irl to be fully sure that this isn't just 'experimenting'

[kmze]

you and blairwaldcrf seem to be psychics.you guys pretty much worded everything regarding stefan,his feelings,his insecurity and the significance of 4×19 scene, that I always thought of, beautifully.Just would add my two cents.

I feel like people don't understand what the text says half the time because they refuse to follow.Antis complain that stefan danced with Elena too.So how would him dancing with caroline be any different?But that's not the point.Hell it's not even about Caroline making stefan dance if we're going by literal dialogue as in 6×22.It's more about the fact that stefan loves dancing with caroline or rather stefan enjoys dancing with caroline.4×19 is a clear instance of that.While everyone else was slow dancing,Stefan went extra and did the twirl thing with Caroline or in 4×16 whe he threw her over his shoulder before dancing with her.That's how much he enjoyed himself when he was with caroline or dancing with Caroline.That's not the case when he danced with Elena.Like ever.Stefan wanted to join elena to enjoy but he was scared of becoming the ripper(4×03).With Caroline he didn't have that fear.He could be free,be himself,enjoy himself,enjoy with her without the risk of ripping people's heads off.And speaking of 4×19,I love how conscious Stefan was while teasing Caroline about Klaus.He did the same in 5×12.Stefan knew and saw why she had klaus wrapped around her fingers and what Klaus saw in her.Because he saw it too. He just wouldn't admit it to himself.But what I love even more how possessive he was about Caroline even when he knew she was with Tyler or in love with Tyler that he would at times forget they were together.Like in 4×19,when he teased her,Caroline responded with "If I had klaus wrapped around my finger,I'd be here with Tyler".Stefan's smile instantly vanished and he lowered his head as if he was jolted back to reality that he was with someone else's gf and she wouldn't look at him if Tyler was here.Even in 5×14 he wasn't sure if Caroline should go alone to talk to Tyler after he wolfed at her(rightfully so)and when Caroline said she would be fine Stefan had a similar reaction.It was like his conscious mind was pulling him back even though subconsciously he was falling head over heels for his bff.His insecurity became obvious in 5×20 when he confessed why he never told her about enzo.And we see him being insecure with regards to ric as well.That phonecall made him feel completely unwanted and the insecurity he harboured deep down because everyone told him caroline would leave him got exposed when he almost begged to see her.Stefan always saw himself as expendable.Three women he fell in love with.Three women he had been insecure about.First Katherine,then Elena and then Caroline.Katherine two-timed.Elena straight up fell in love with his brother.Seeing Caroline be happy with someone else she had kids with was like the final nail in the coffin for him.In his eyes it was Caroline making a choice just like elena,just like damon.

This sounded so much more coherent in my head I swear.lol.

Very coherent anon I know exactly what you're getting at! In regards to the dancing thing it reminded me of a post I made after 6x22 because people were losing their minds calling Steroline forced (their favorite word) because Stefan danced with Elena too... THAT'S NOT WHAT HE SAID! It is literally the same dialog as you pointed out, he is saying that loving Caroline CHANGED HIS LIFE and he is listing the ways she did that! He never liked dancing, it's pointed out multiple times by Elena that she had to beg him to dance when they were together, Lexi who got him to loosen up a little bit had to tell him to move his feet because he was still so damn stiff dancing with her. But not with Caroline, with Caroline he initiates their dances! Besides their first dance all of their dances are initiated by Stefan the guy who HATES dancing and he never thinks twice about making a fool of himself! He throws her over his shoulder because he knows it will make her laugh, he looks ridiculous dancing with her and doesn't care at all. The twirl-y thing he does with her I love he's just so light around her he always wants to make her smile and laugh, it is all in the dialog of his love confession to her these are the things he does now because Caroline CHANGED HIS LIFE!

The possessiveness that Stefan had w/r/t Caroline and Tyler was just next level lol, it's very funny too because I think Tyler was the only one who really saw it which was why he was so pissed in 4x09. I think it's also why he tried to use Stefan against Caroline in 5x12 when he told him she slept with Klaus and said exactly, unfortunately for Tyler he misread that situation because there was no way Stefan was going to take his side over Caroline. I will never understand why people don't recognize Stefan's insecurity, he never thinks he's enough and with Caroline he couldn't even handle her picking Ric over him so instead he made her hate him so she couldn't make the choice.

[nowis-scales]

(I keep telling myself, “Oh, I better not wait a month between Echoes playthrough posts again” and proceed to do just that)

The fact that Valbar’s like “oh, but there’s no use standing around crying about it” after this is just… wow. No, Valbar, it is incredibly valid to cry about it. Like good on you for knowing what you need and deciding maybe life like this might help you, but like… the occasional tears are okay, buddy. I promise I won’t judge.

I’m going to have to write an essay on the way this game confronts sexism, swapping between Watsonian and Doylist perspectives, because this is just continuously too interesting to me.

Probably a good time to mention that in my first year of university I took an East Asian History class, and while the classroom was fairly large, my professor would always ask my opinions on feminist issues in varying time periods in a few of the different countries… because I always wanted to know what was going on with the women when I wrote my essays.

I think this probably says something about Fernand, that he’s so smitten with someone like Berkut… like bro. Even Berkut’s fiancée isn’t really that into him anymore because he’s just that freakish about the war. Maybe a bit of a red flag?

I mean, then again, it’s Fernand. He himself is a bit of a red flag. Maybe they’re perfect for each other, who knows.

Oh ho in this game, apparently, yes

Even though the last guy is a generic soldier, this looks like the mean girl line-up from every teen movie ever. Seriously. There’s the leader, her loyal follower, and the forgettable third one.

My brain needs to stop subconsciously memeing everything Berkut does, cause this just played, “Scared of beans, space boy?!” in my head. I think I’ve just seen inklings of the fanbase memeing and/or dunking on Berkut where they can, and now I’m just having these moments where I forget that I’m meant to take him seriously.

Which I mean, I hear he’s a pretty good villain when you get far enough into the game, so I’m sure I won’t have trouble taking him seriously later… but so far he’s mostly just showing up and being mean to Alm, so for now I am giving myself license to bully him softly.

… I did not enjoy this part. Idk if it was me or the chapter, but there was some fucking Fates-level RNG happening here. Also probably because I didn’t strategize really, I kind of just put the strong people closest and then charged, but that is neither here nor there. I mean, it’s probably the reason why I did not have a great time with it but hey. I’m a casual. And part of that is just because while I can think well, I can’t say I always want to lol. This was one of those times.

[shadesofblades]

12. what is a lesson your muse’s parent(s)/guardian taught them that they still hold onto?

For everyone! :D

This one ended up being way longer than I thought!

Baatu's mother Murene taught him everything there is to know about taking care of himself and sticking up for himself. He holds onto many of these teachings still and isn't shy about giving his mother the credit she deserves. I often talk about how Baatu learned how to cook because of Murene, so I'll talk about something else.

There was a time in Baatu's life where he was racially targeted and bullied quite often as a child. Living as a mixed Xaela in Ishgard was very tough on him growing up. He was a very simple and scared kid, so he didn't know how to handle these situations well. He'd always try to run back home after classes or if he was out doing chores, just so he could be safe with his mother. There were many times Murene got involved in such hate crimes to protect her child. Baatu saw his mother be strong in her stance and eloquent in her speech. Then she'd bring her son home and tell him everything about how brave and strong and beautiful he is. Murene taught her son that he was unique and special, that he should be proud of who he is, and if anyone were to judge him based off his looks they were weak minded people who he shouldn't even look at.

It took a little bit of time for this lesson to click in his head, but eventually it took hold. Maybe in his teenage and young adult years, it got a little too in his head. He was a little full of himself during those times, but he's grown and matured since. Nowadays, he takes this lesson to heart still, not allowing others' racism and nasty comments to get to his head.

Now, Aoki. This one was hard because I haven't thought too much about his parents. When he was young, like mostly all Viera, he was raised by his mother and the women of his tribe. Eventually he, lived and trained with the males of his tribe, staying with his father. While his mother taught him generally how to take care of himself, his father taught him about how to care for others. Others as in his tribe, but also others as in the animals, the plants, the forest. His father, while I haven't fully fleshed him out yet with a name and such, was a bit of a soft man. He was a warrior, but cared deeply about others and the forest. I think Aoki learned to love nature a little more because of him.

Even though many many years have passed since Aoki has seen his father one last time, he still holds onto his lessons subconsciously. Aoki isn't very good with treating others well as they irritate him and can never be trusted, but nature and the forests are all so real and truthful. He's taken his father's views and teachings and incorporated them in his daily life- even if he doesn't realize it.

There are some things that he has latched onto over the years because of these views. I discussed this in a previous ask about religion, but Aoki practices a form of "religion" similar to Shinto as people in Hingashi do: that there is kami in all things and thus you must respect all things, including objects and nature. When he learned about this teaching as he came eastward, he easily understood it and began to practice it.

[mzkora]

SPN Season 2 Rewatch

When I talk about “classic spn” this season is absolutely what I think about (along with one and three). Season 2 has so many banger episodes! I took notes and for a number of episodes all I really had to say was “wow this was great!” So I won’t mention every episode just the highlights.

Episode 1: Direct continuation of the last season closer is either S Tier or D Tier storytelling depending on the show and this one works for me! Getting injured, scared Sammy to defend his family is just *BEAUTIFUL* I appreciated the quickness of Dean realizing and accepting that he was dead/dying just like I did the first time I watched the opener when it originally aired. Too often the “I didn’t know I was dead” trope gets dragged out waaaaay too long. Also, hi Tessa! (Guess I’m adding you to the list of characters who got killed off too soon? But am I? IDK. I wish you had popped up more often but you got a comparatively decent send off. I mean you joined a crazy, celestial death cult of suicide bombers, but at least you had some sort of characterization/character arc in the end.)

* Side note, I always forget how soon John gets killed off in the series. Back in the day, in the week-to-week era of TV, I guess the time in between episodes really made the show seem longer which in turn gave John a longer life in the imagination of the audience (or at least just in mine).

Episode 2: This is one of the classic episodes. The first mention of Sam’s fear of clowns and a great example of his focus on Dean’s grief/pain as a way of avoiding talking about his own. Some times in the past when I’ve rewatched this one as a standalone it’s bothered me because it deals more with grief than the actual MotW. But as part of a series rewatch it really does work in the overall scheme of things. Of course it does. You gotta have an episode where the characters grieve, otherwise the show wouldn’t make sense. And here we see Dean’s knee jerk reaction to loss/grief is anger. Always anger. EXPLOSIVE anger. And he takes it out on Sam (verbally) and his Baby (physically). Sam meanwhile turns inward. His first reaction is guilt/self criticism. Something else that we will see remains largely consistent over the run of the show. Gotta love the character establishment of these early seasons.

(Just as an aside: Dean x Jo gave me the ick back in the day. Couldn’t stand it. We’ll have to see how it goes this time around, but as of them flirting in this episode it wasn’t so bad. Still not a fan of their interactions, but at least it got Dean started on his journey of not being a complete asshat with regards to women. Or maybe not a journey so much but at least it’s something he thinks about even if he is still acts like a dog to chicks.)

Episode 3: “ Bloodlust”, I didn’t recognize this one until the brothers were playing doctor at the morgue and then I was like “Ohhhh, yeah.” Well, hello, Gordon. Forgot you got started so early on in the show. Also I love the detail in canon of the boys being so isolated and out of touch with the rest of the Hunter community that they didn’t know existed. John, my dude, why did you keep your boys so insular? I know on your mind it was about keeping them safe, but honestly WTF?

TARA!!!!!!! My beloved!!!!! Thank you for complicating the monster/person narrative. Too bad the show struggled with maintaining a moral core, but you had a good episode. And your death (later on) was at least more fulfilling than your last.

And of course that ICONIQUE line of “he’s the only one that gets to call me that”!

Also also, the casual sexism in Dean believing Gordon over Ellen even if only for a little bit. That really hit the spot for me. Like fingering a bruise. Speaking as a woman, that line really hit home. Subconscious though it might be, there is an inherent sexism woven into the characters and the world of SPN at large from the start. (*Just like in real life!* WHO SAID THAT?!) But in SPN it goes all the way up the spiritual ladder to the literal Creator, Chuck. His anti-sister/anti-woman bias really did contaminate the world he created. A solid, unspoken metaphor for systemic sexism buried in the lore. Too bad the show never really grappled with it fully. Too busy being the masculine inverse of Buffy.

Episode 4: Oh that sweet, sweet self-hating Dean angst!

Episode 5: Another banger! Gotta love the hippie dippie Andy (he’s basically Dean’s spirit animal). I like Ellen standing up to the boys in this one. Jo’s overt flirting is not my thing, but it still wasn’t too bad here. I guess I just don’t like her being attracted to him rather than being presented as an equal/colleague. There are so few women hunters in the show and I would’ve loved for Jo to be treated more as an ally than a love interest. There’s something Freudian about him being a stand-in/mirror for the father she lost that I don’t like it. Some do though. I can see the appeal generally, but it still gives me the ick which is hilariously hypocritical given I ship Wincest I know. But queer incest doesn’t bother me the way hetero, daddy issue stuff does. (Or maybe I’m just jealous? Who wouldn’t want to bang Dean if they got the chance?)

Episode 6: Wow, this one was okay. Surprise, surprise. Ellen gave an amazing performance. Jo wasn’t annoying (I feel like teen-me thought she was, but that was a long time ago so I can’t be sure) still she did a good job. I liked her getting that stabby moment with the ghost and for calling Dean out on his sexism. Yes, he had a legitimate reason for being concerned given her lack of field experience, but I liked her taking charge of her own life. The added drama of John being involved with Jo’s father’s death was excellent storytelling.

Episode 7: A solid one. I don’t think I have ever rewatched this one since it aired, which is a shame. Linda Blair gave a good performance. Her acceptance of the whole supernatural thing was a bit rushed, but it wasn’t too bad. The novel format of the episode, the start being told in flashbacks, helps it stand out compared to the other multitudes of generic ghost/vengeful spirit stories. Loved all the snark from the brothers.

Episodes 8-11: Awesome, no notes. This season has really been hitting hard. To me this is the embodiment of spn: tightly contained, fast paced, and focused entirely on the brothers as it should be.

Episode 12: Hi, Henrickson! You are such an unlikable dick in your first few appearances.

Episode 13: OH that sweet godboy angst from Sam is delicious. Nom nom nom. He’s a believer and “feels like I could drown in (so much evil)”. UGH. By this we are fed.

Episode 14: “Born Under A Bad Sign” fretting, worried Dean my beloved! Deranged devotion from Dean my other beloved! Meg!Sam you were awesome! Sexily monstrous Sam is 🔥🔥🔥 as always. Jo was a solid side character, don’t like that she gets banged up and threatened sexually, but this show didn’t go for feminist points, so that sort of thing is unfortunately par for the course. So was the binding sigil burned into Sam’s arm or… what? Bobby definitely took a hot iron to him too, so how long did all that take to heal? I know it's a show, but in-universe, what's the explanation…?

Episode 15: Another BANGER! Love the bickering. Hello Gabriel!

Episode 16: “Roadkill” one of my early season faves. I enjoyed it back in the day since it has a more unique set-up/gimmick. I think it holds up really well as a standalone episode.

Episode 17: “Heart” Doc Fraser my girl!!! Madison, the second link in the chain of Sam’s Peen of Death played by yet another 2000s actress that popped up in all the usual TV suspects. Love the tears Sammy baby. And that bod 🔥🔥🔥

Episode 18: “Hollywood Babylon” I love the trope of Dean just getting absorbed into the subcultures he encounters. Here being a PA and the next episode a prisoner, he blends in so easily and I like how Sam always reacts so astonished/annoyed. Like Sammy baby stop being surprised that your weirdo of a brother blends in so well with other weirdos.

Episodes 19 @ 20: CLASSICS! NO NOTES!

Episodes 21/22: “All Hell Breaks Loose Pt. 1 & 2” So this is it. The big kahuna. When I first watched the show, up until this point, I didn’t ship the brothers. I thought they were hot of course, but up until these episodes I had thought they just happened to be pretty close. These episodes changed all that!

The depth of Dean’s despair and the lengths he went to, were the sparks that lit the way to the fangirl shipper life I now enjoy. This is where they tipped into weirdcest/wincest for me. And I’ve never looked back!

I love the little hints of worldbuilding in here: Azazel mentions “other generations” like maybe this demonic scheme of his has been attempted before and will be attempted again later; the random hellmouth that Colt built a system of railroads to contain; the fact that Mary knew Azazel before the night of her death complicating her narrative as a random unfortunate victim of evil. I don’t think she should’ve been made a hunter from a dynasty of hunters, but I do like the implication here in this episode that something happened between her and Azazel pre-series. (And Sam not immediately revealing that truth to Dean is peak withholding!Sam behavior.)

[splinter-sister]

Rachael

Ridge - He’s pretty flirtatious himself and is in the grey as far as personality wise, usually doing things for themself, work aside. I think that could be pretty compatible, but Ridge is usually a ONS kinda guy. He’s never gone back for seconds due to being immortal.

Howl - Rachael is sassy, flirty—just the opposite of Howl, who, though he doesn’t know much about the world and is naive about certain things and has a limited education, he’s inwardly rather soft and probably craves intimacy just as much as Rachael does? He’d find her pretty!! To be with Howl though, time is needed and handle with care—he may be inwardly soft despite the odds, but he’s been through absolute hell.

Nix - He’s a pretty playful guy and a decent sort, so I think he could get along well with Rachael. He has a soft side for small women also, but Rachael is pretty strong, so he’d like that. Besides all that, she’s pretty cute!

James - An absolute sunshine of a guy who is also an overworked healer / doctor. He wouldn’t hesitate to help Rachael if she was hurt because he’s very caring—that goes without saying for his partner. However, he’s more on the scale of good in comparison to Rachel’s grey and regrets killing people even when it’s usually to protect himself.

Eamon

Ridge - Ridge can be a playful and decent guy—he’ll keep things calmer, not come on too strong with Eamon being more of nervous type, but as with what I’d said above, he’s only interested in ONS even when he really likes someone because, well, they’re going to die before he ever does. Eamon is really cute though—definitely has the look to attract Ridge.

Howl - Howl doesn’t know a lot and is naive, but if he latches onto someone like Eamon, he’d protect him with his life. He is dog brained—I didn’t mention that above—happy when the friend comes around and upset when they leave! If he’s become his partner, he’d want his affection very often as he’s pretty touch starved. ( I’ve a lot of headcanons reblogged about him coming up too ! )

Nix - Though Nix is a playful guy and decent, he’d immediately pick up on Eamon’s shier, more nervous personality and subconsciously adjust himself so he’s a bit less himself. However, as with all potential partners, his natural temperature is COLD , freezing even and that usually scares people off. If Eamon can handle that (among some other things), he’s got a guy in it for the long haul.

James - Nurse and Doctor duo!! Though coming from a more fantasy setting, I refer to James as a healer more often than not! I think they’d be pretty cute today. James would take his time with Eamon, certainly because of his personality and would enjoy that he’s in a health profession as well!! Besides that, Eamon is cute!!

[ I omitted Black Hare since she’s probably not good for anyone’s mental health ( like maybe unless it’s a villain?? ) and Lafayette since his sexuality is unknown ! ]

For Rach, most of them have aspects that would match and clash with her in interesting ways. Ridge fits well with come and go aspect of her. The casualness of it may be what's most comforting to her. Less commitment and all. Howl seems like a slow burn with her. Someone to teach and learn from and bond that way. I think Nix may be the hardest to pair with her. Just a feeling on that one! I've been surprised before though! James has an advantage because he's BLOND. Her biggest weakness! Even then, he is a personality she hasn't really been paired up with yet. A little ball of sunshine in her life may be nice.

Eamon is overall, a very difficult muse to ship with because he's so nervous and anxiety riddled. On top of that, he's not sure he's into guy as a default so that is an arc to get over with the territory. Unfortunately for Ridge, Eamon isn't the ONS kind of guy. He may have the least chance with him out of them all. Howl would sit nicely into the need for him to feel safe. Nothing safer than a loyal dog (no pun intended). The downside is Eamon is at work a lot! So time with him may be scarce. I can see Nix and Eamon being the least likely to get together at first. There would need to be one hell of an icebreaker, but after than I can see it going so much smoother. Once again! James is the most likely choice! Nurse and Doctor combination is perfect already. Having a bright and gentle personality is the fast track to getting onto Eamons good side. I think they would be very cute together as well. The two blonds. Even though Eamon dyes his hair and is a natural brunette.

Oh~ Black Hare is 100% manipulative for anyone. She's only been shipped with one person so far despite being around for years. She's psychotic and emotionally unavailable to nearly everyone.

Lafayette is still in the works and I'm a bit stumped on him as well. He's young and probably doesn't think about hooking up or getting into relationships as much.

[plscallmeeren]

1   P   E   O   P   L   E   A   R   E S T R A N G E

'People are strange

When you're a stranger

Faces look ugly

When you're alone

Women seem wicked

When you're unwanted

Streets are uneven

When you're down

When you're strange

Faces come out of the rain

When you're strange

No one remembers your name

When you're strange'

- The Doors

I have to die first.

And then they started screaming again as I continued laughing, walking backwards as the door finally burst open, all the swarm crashing into the room. This is gonna be my year. '86, baby.

"Raven! Raven, stop! Stop! STOP! PLEASE!"

"Raven, stop, stop, stop, stop-"

I could hardly even hear them anymore. I sprinted outside, past the gruelling creatures. This time I would take it too far. No one tempts fate this way and gets away with it. It doesn't work like that.

I kept running. I don't know where I was going or what I was trying to achieve, but it felt amazing. So, I ran. And I ran and I ran and I ran, even though I usually hated running. They followed me.

I fell. It felt like slow motion, like when you saw it coming and the universe grants you extra time to witness your failure. I didn't mind this time. I screamed as I fell, with all of the power a voice could give. My throat felt like it would never be unharmed again. My lungs might as well have been ripped open. But still, I felt free.

Help.

Please. Please. Please.

And then I felt everything.

9 months prior

I ran an anxious hand over the slant of my neck, brushing my collarbone subconsciously in diffidence. Every hair on my body felt out of place and every thought readied itself to be tested, my selfish rumination gifting me no room to contemplate on whether or not anyone would even care. But then again, somewhere, I knew they would.

I tried to recall the millions of times I had driven along this very road, slid my hand around the cheap steering wheel at the exact same angle, let my fingernails tug at the fabric of my homemade, fingerless gloves covered in buckles and chains, felt Brynn pull on my hair gently from the backseat to attract my attention, but it was of no use.

Miriam's sharp voice almost made me retract in fright, but the soft aftermath eased me back into sense.

"You okay?", she repeated as I swerved – just a little late - into the swarmed parking lot.

"Yeah, sure. Just a little preoccupied", I murmured, the tight, striped black and white top under my t-shirt suddenly uncomfortable as a smile took ahold of my face forcefully.

"Are you excited or nervous?", Favian questioned, a standard set of words I had confronted them all with many times before, but directed at me, I rendered it foreign. Nevertheless, my honesty took me by surprise: "Both, I think."

For once, they didn't all jump to leave the car, elude judgemental glances in my direction. They sat not with pride, but understanding in their spots, a moment of silence to honour my condemnation.

We all bore witness to our surrounding environment more than usual, as if when we all stepped out of the car all we knew would shatter. A safe world or perception we had built to remain ignorant. Perhaps they weren't as scared as I thought, though, for projection is biased.

Backpacks, vividly coloured cars bought to show off, perusing skaters, petrifying hairstyles that were sure to withhold so much hairspray I wondered whether they would ever tremble.

But we did stand up. We stepped over the threshold of unclean felt lining, as if a wave of a dream had just rolled over us and now we were back in reality. I could almost appreciate its simplicity.

My eyes landed on Billy. Oh, I had not been looking forward to this long awaited moment. Granted, I had sheepishly allowed maladaptive daydreams to play out various versions of this encounter, but...

But maybe this didn't have to be the encounter? I had only just arrived. I needn't face him so quickly.

Decision manifesting in my drawn back shoulders, I whisked my glance away from from the derisive blonde and unhappy red-head.

My heart ached at the thought of her, as it did so often. How could I love someone who did all these things? Or maybe loved, past tense? But a strangely strong voice deep inside me immediately started with the excuses.

He had this done to him before he did it to anyone else. He loved you, it was just an accident, he was scared. He-

Scared of what?

No, the voice was right. But if I listened to it everything ever done could be forgiven. Almost. There isn't much evil, after all, if any.

I heard some girls gushing about him as he stood with his chin held high, an arm resting on the hood of his car.

Of course I had been used to it. That didn't mean I ever liked it. But my blood boiled anyway as my body heated up at a terrifying speed. I wanted to kiss him. Touch him. Pull him closer than humanely close so they'd all see he's mine. So that if their minds wondered back into the gutter they'd be forced to see me lying with him, not them.

But he isn't yours anymore.

And then the anger crumbled, and suddenly I felt colder than before. I hated it. I hated it.

"Rae... C'mon...," Favian groaned, pulling on my hand, "I wanna see your first epic entry into the school..."

The others had already left with merely a goodbye, not wanting to be held up - or seen with me for that matter.

"I've been here before, sweetie, you know that. It won't be epic. Go on ahead, or you'll be late to class," I consoled, kissing him on the forehead quickly and waving all of them off as I myself turned to the direction of the school doors.

By now, Billy had noticed me, a wide smirk spreading over his boisterous face.

"Raven Crown. Man. Never thought I'd live to see the day", he opened his arms wide, first as an antic and then as a hug when I gave in, turning around.

I didn't know if I wanted to be in this situation, but my restless relief proved to be conceited.

His touch was electrifying, and my thoughts from before almost overwhelmed me into pulling him against me and claiming his lips anew, but I didn't. Instead, I retracted as soon as possible, tapping my foot on the ground nervously.

As I pulled away I distinctly heard the gushing girls whisper each other, but chose to ignore their cruel comments.

"So, what's with the mascara look? Makes you look ten times better, sugar, maybe if you had it back then I would've stayed," I teased, making him laugh. I felt harsh, but that was how I had always talked to Billy in public, much in contrast to anyone else.

"Oh, you wish. I've moved on, ya see," he grinned, but there was a flicker of hope and sadness swimming beneath the surface of those words.

"Ah, I see. Those hoes of yours?" I nodded my head at the girls, Billy simply smiling gently.

"Yeah, guess so," a bit of his cocky, angry mask fell - a split second - revealing a boy who had never been granted the chance at growing up.

But I wouldn't have seen that. Not if I hadn't already.

"Hey, it's cool. You'll find someone who you'll speak more than five honest words to before you fuck them again. I believe in you, hon'," he smiled grimly, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Don't think so, actually. I become more of an asshole day by day. No one even remotely like you would ever want me."

"Well then, thank god there's nobody even remotely like me," I grinned, and he shook his head again, but this time only to hide a laugh.

"Hey, I gotta go. Don't forget me just yet, yeah?" I requested as I walked away backwards, smirking at him as he dropped his head, chuckling, curls falling before his face. I didn't have the faintest idea why I contested to that.

Sighing internally, I turned up the music on my mixtape and let Joan Jett and the Blackhearts 'Bad Reputation' blast through my headphones as I walked into the school sombrely, feeling like nostalgia was a bullet and I was set free unprepared.

•••

"Slut."

"Who does she think she is, coming back after what she pulled off?"

"Even scarier in person... probably has literal knives up her sleeves."

I couldn't stand them. The girls. The whispering. The gossip. The having-no-idea-but-saying-things-anyway.

I didn't really care, but it was goddamn annoying. I mean, what do they think when they do that? What actual person does that? Do they even have lives? Are we sure they don't just go home and stare at a wall until the next day at school to play their gossip role? I didn't get it.

Closing my locker, I faced an unfortunate face I didn't care to recognise. His traits were stringy and his hair could use a good wash, but his grin amounted to nothing more than revolting.

"May I pass?" I asked mockingly. I was met with even more teeth showing and a shake of his head.

I super to move past him, but he blocked me. My temper was rising exponentially.

"You wanna come home with me, slut? I could show you a good time."He laughed, and before I knew it, my elbow was communicating with his rib cage primitively, shoving him to the side as I walked past him.

I felt my breath quicken momentarily, but had little trouble rediscovering control. It had been a while since I was met with such confrontational concepts. I had aggressively avoided the thought.

I saw someone approach in my peripheral vision, but didn't pay it any mind, not wanting to make eye contact. Then again, I probably should have, as I was left with about 13 seconds to meander along the white-washed hall without suffering the accentuated loss of books and balance. I had collided with someone.

Continuously stupid, I didn't look up, even as they crouched down to help me pick things up, awe in their voice as they apologised profusely.

"You don't insult a lady, man. Not cool. I'm so sorry. Here you go, sweetheart. I'm sorry. Sorry."

That voice? That voice I recognised.

Eddie Munson.

We attended to middle school together. We could have been considered friends. More like your usual classmate relationship. But he had been flirting with me since about ninth grade. Yes, keeping Billy away from him later on was a full-time job.

I always found him sweet, attractive, even of interest. But since I was with Billy from year ten to eleven, I really didn't have any room to think about anything. Admittedly, I had thought about it. But hot and cute didn't make him better than the boy I loved.

The boy was long gone, and so were his friends that had hidden in wait. I now stared into brown eyes tempted by memory, rich emotion packed with ambivalence. They were the kind of eyes you could fall for. I wasn't stupid enough not to feel the tug at my heart as he met my gaze.

Suddenly, the broad corridor felt claustrophobic, the orange, green, yellow stripes losing their pointed meaning. Those halls didn't lead anywhere and that was becoming painfully clear as I stared at him. Every freckle on his face, most of them barely visible, seemed in dire need of scrutinising inspection, every lash void of the attention it deserved.

I had left him. I had been his friend, no matter how I lied to myself in hopes of diminishing guilt. I wasn't worthy of his precious presence. But I saw it coming. I saw it coming the moment I set eyes on him. He was going to forgive me.

I tilted my head at him. He didn't look happy.

"Are you okay?" he snapped, more harshly than he intended to. In fact, he hadn't intended to at all.

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"We bumped into each other. I could ask you the same thing," I countered, unmoving.

He shook his head, stepping around in a very typical Eddie kind of a way. Fuck, he's hotter than before...

"This- Okay, this is not how your school year should be starting. Okay? You- Okay, uh-"

"Eddie, calm down," I spoke gently, approaching him with small and silent steps, stretching a hand out to brush my finger over his cheek. I didn't really mean to. It was an instinct. The burning urge to touch him. No, no, no, no, no-

He shivered at my touch, yet leaned in anyway. "I'm, I'm calm," he stated shakily. Something about having such a strong effect on him made me feel special. Important. I loved the feeling. But I felt like a fraud for it.

"Okay," I whispered, drawing my hand away from him. Within seconds, the setting had become intimate, strangely intimate. Low voices, screaming thoughts, alone in a haunted graveyard of intelligence that had gone missing. Was that romantic?

"Actually," the moment slipped somewhat as his joking tone returned, "I'm not calm at all. My heart is beating faster than it has in two years and I really want that finger back, thanks."

I laughed, shaking my head at his antics as he grinned. Nostalgia is killing me, baby...

"Sorry to say it, hon', but it looks like that finger is gonna have to join the rest of me at my first class; to which - by the way - I am already late. And unless school still intimidates you the way it has in the past, I suggest you do the same. Something tells me you don't have a free period?" I smirk, realising just how much I've missed this.

"Well, that finger could come with me and the rest of you, if it wishes, to skip this period?" he sounded hopeful, but not convinced.

"I don't think so, sugar," I hummed, swaying slightly on the spot as his face fell into a disappointed pout.

"Well, if I didn't skip, would that be terrible?" Now he sounded unsure. Why would that be terrible?

"Why would I care?" I questioned doubtfully, making his eyes widen in surprise.

"I- Well, if I come into the class with you, that will most certainly bruise your reputation forever."

"You... think I care about my reputation?" I almost laughed, still hearing Joan Jett sound around my neck.

"Well- I dunno, I guess not," he realised, almost falling backward before swinging around at the right moment.

"Come on, let's go," I urged with a smile, taking ahold of his arm and pulling him along the corridors.

"Hey, so, uh- Are you and that guy still dating? You know, the little one."

"You mean Billy?" I was supposed to be upset that he mentioned him. I suppose I was. But somehow I just wasn't as bothered. Not with the burning sensation I wrote off as gratefulness that he didn't talk about how we fell out of contact. "Uh, no. No, I'm not with the little one anymore. Hey, how did you know we had the same class?"

He stayed silent, simply not answering the question, but we arrived at the classroom too soon for me to ask again. I let go of him, quickly walking inside the room with Eddie on my heels.

"I'm very sorry I'm late, Mrs. Raz, I had problems with my locker," I apologised quickly as Eddie slipped past me to sit down at the back of the classroom. If his goal was to be inconspicuous, he wasn't practiced at it.

I mean, if we're being honest, Eddie Munson turning up to class already would've been a miracle two years ago, and I doubt it's any different now.

"Yes, problems indeed," she menacingly stared at Eddie, before returning her gaze to me with a much friendlier tone, "but it's fine. Would you like to quickly introduce yourself to the class?"

"I suspect they already know me," I smiled sweetly, looking at my new classmates.

"Well, why don't you just give us your name, age and a hobby or so. Then I'll let you go." I always liked Mrs. Raz. Particularly because she wasn't completely naïve when it came to social issues and the importance there-of.

"Sure. Okay, my name is Raven Harley Crown, I'm 21, and I write," I smiled again, then moved to sit down next to Eddie in the back.

After a very small wink, Mrs. Raz proceeded with her lesson. I loved English. She loved me because I loved English. I loved her because she taught English. It all worked out, didn't it?

They're all so small...

It felt strange being the oldest in the class by far apart from Eddie. It made it easier to rise above their childish rumours. It would almost be embarrassing to care.

"Psst," Eddie whispered, tapping my arm repeatedly. I glared at him, finally giving in.

"What?"

"Will you skip next period with me?"

"No."

"Will you skip any period with me?"

"No."

"You really like English, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Okay, then sit with me and my friends at lunch. Please?"

"Okay, fine, just stop talking."

"Ouch. Fine."

"Thank you."

The rest of the lesson was spent in peace. And so was the next, although that might have had to do with the fact that Eddie wasn't there anymore. Third period was slightly less pleasant, mainly due to the sharpening leftovers being thrown at my back. There were a few incidents similar to that, but all in all... peace. And school.

I found it hard to believe, but I had undeniably missed school.

•••

"You really like this chick, don't you?"

"Come on, spit it out, who is she?" Gareth groaned, slumping into his chair.

"You. Will. See," Eddie repeated.

"The way you talk about her, man... Once you've had your thing with her, can I have a go?"

"There will be no other 'go's! No trying, no flirting, no nothing. You get that? Not with my girl."

"Oh, come on-"

"Hello, boys," I smiled as I sat down at the table, between Gareth and Eddie.

"Holy shit," Jeff breathed, dropping his sandwich in the process. "You're the perfect girl? The psy-"

"Yep, that'd be me," I cut him off, chirpy. Eddie looked around in confusion, with underlying anger based on the presumption of it being a negative comment, but after Gareth's next trick he wouldn't remember.

"I mean, you're pretty hot. Hotter up close. I'd still like a piece-"

"Hey, fuckwit-"

"Eddie," I reprimanded, the simple command enough to silence him for a moment while his friends snickered.

"Why'd you do that?" Eddie complained, eyeing the other boy venomously.

"Because it's nice to stay civil, hon'. And you certainly can't assume I'm 'your girl', but it's nice to get a compliment," I cut, catching him off guard, his eyes wide.

Jeff started laughing, Gareth grinning along madly. "Man, yeah, she's something. To be able to do that? Shut Eddie 'the freak' Munson up? Wow."

"The freak? That what they call you now?" I picked out of Jeff's comment, and Eddie's face fell.

"You, uh, you didn't know?" he managed, suddenly very self-conscious. His hands started fidgeting, eyes flitting anywhere but at me.

"No, actually. But it's kinda cool, don't you think? Basically the weird kids' word for metal", I smirked, and so did the others.

"The weird kids?"

"Y'know. People like Jason," my eyebrows rose tauntingly, and a new wave of laughter rose from the whole table, the last of Eddie's discomfort disappearing.

"Yeah. Yeah. Exactly", he muttered, and before I knew it they were all snickering about an alternative meaning along the lines of 'freaky Jason' brought to the table by Chris.

"So, what've you been doing these past years?"

"I've been working, darling. You know, receiving money instead of spending it." Gareth shook his head in mock disbelief while the others laughed.

"Wait- You worked at the police station, didn't you?" Jeff realised, pointing at me in an almost accusatory way. "Betraying your own kind, are we?"

I quirked an eyebrow at him, silence just long enough to make him nervous. Then: "I think I've manoeuvred your very own brother - Mr. Reed - out of some rather unkind situations where I didn't have to. Don't tempt fate or next time he signs a government wall with his real name he will need to be bailed out."

Jeff's jaw dropped as the others 'ooh'ed and 'ah'ed, Eddie slinging an arm around my waist in a proud fashion that may have been ill-advised had I any relations to care.

"What do you listen to?"

"Is this an interrogation or a conversation if you don't mind me asking?"

"Conversation."

"Then I'd rather turn some questions on you, my friend." Gareth's brows raised but his lips were quick to reply.

"If thou insist, what would you like to know?" I faked a thinking expression, determining what held priority.

"Favourite band?"

"Dire Straits."

"Ah, yes, and let me guess? You're the guitarist."

"Mhm. Now, what kind of music?"

"Hard rock to psychedelic rock and everything in between. Do you prefer drawing or writing?"

"Writing. Where you from?"

We shot questions back and forth at an unfathomable pace, all onlookers learning a great deal about myself and probably even a thing or two about Gareth.

Eddie's hold on me stiffened from time to time when Gareth's questions ventured too far in some directions, but I didn't mind.

Eventually the conversation faded out to a more common kind and finally I deemed the end of the lunch break near. Some simple words later I left the table to bring away my tray.

Perhaps I was not as far as they thought.

"She's as much of a maniac as you, man. And she's hot. And nice. Man, if she were metal, she'd be perfect," Gareth claimed, and in a moment of calm Eddie laughed at him.

I smiled to myself, looking down at the over-sized AC/DC t-shirt over the black and white striped top tucked into my large dark blue straight jeans. The thousands of rings, necklaces, chains and bracelets that looked like they were found on the street (and most were) were probably a hint, too. If not them, I would have bet on the safety-pin earrings. Not disinfected properly, of course.

But poor has grown a style, so who knew if there was more than met the eye anymore?

But I'm wasn't metal, as Gareth may have hoped. I was rock.

3940 words

——————

This is the year the story begins.

I am aware that some things here aren't realistic, but I tried to make them believable as they are simply necessary for the sake of the story. Please don't comment anything hating on these decisions, even if they may appear plot holes. I didn't come up with the story, the Duffer Brothers did and I can only accommodate so much.

The world, most characters and general story belong to the Duffer Brothers and their co-producers.

Eddie and Raven's story is mine, as well as her siblings.

I will try and update once a week and nothing would motivate me/make me happier than if you comment or vote!

I hope you enjoy :)