your f/o would not care abt any 'abnormal' speech mannerisms you've got btw.
stutter? that's ok, they're more than happy to wait to let you get the words out, it just gives them an extra few seconds to appreciate your voice. Even if you get caught up on the same word a few times or the whole sentence struggles a little, they're not gonna make fun of you. It's you talking, what could ever be 'wrong' with that?
mix up your words? that's totally ok! whether you'd rather try again and say what you actually meant to say or just wanna repeat a few bits so they get the gist, they're not gonna make fun of you. even if you don't notice that you swapped around some words, they've gotten pretty good at deciphering your meaning, time together letting them hone their skills.
forget what you were saying halfway through it? that's totally fine too! whether they give you a few minutes to try and remember or just move past it till something jogs your memory again, they're fine to offer up some ideas on what it might've been about or a new topic to get your mind off of it.
use a lot of 'fluff' in your speech (ie. 'umm,' 'like,' 'uhh,' etc.)? they're not gonna rush the words out of you or interrupt your speech. They're more than happy to give you all the time in the world to talk, no matter how rambly and long-winded it might seem. They like hearing what you have to say and your thoughts are priceless to them.
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rereading the hivebent commentary makes me so annoyed that people are never really willing to analyze the actual effects that alternian culture clearly had on every troll, especially the highbloods. pretty much the only troll who ever actually gets taken in the context of her upbringing is vriska.
no one ever seems willing to think about the character arcs of trolls like equius and terezi, who are also bluebloods with extremely hypocritical and toxic understandings of the people around them-- equius is boiled down to a gross creep who is just like that naturally and definitely didn't get it from his society in any way, whilst terezi is scrubbed of virtually all her flaws and turned into a strange sort of based love interest character who is all about being gay and too cool to be tricked by any of the alternian propaganda. quadrants? classism? how silly! terezi would never believe in stupid shit like that. she's quirky! and GAY!
despite the fact that equius and terezi both obviously have much, much more to their personalities than that-- and the alternian empire is informing way more dangerous things about these kid's beliefs than "kiss annoying people".
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Sunday mornings used to be Bakugo’s alone time.
He’d get up at six, slip into his trainers and run… It was the only workout he never kept track of, letting himself move until he was simply too tired to do anymore.
He did it because he loved it: The feeling of moving under his own power, of the quiet, of his music loud in his ears; almost matching to the bass of his heart and the pounding of his feet.
Sunday mornings were his.
Until they weren’t…
Now, Sunday mornings involve bike helmets and excited laughter. There’s breakfast before any exercise and sticky fingers that need to be washed before they touch their fresh clothes. There’s an added weight to his back as he carries a bag with water and plasters and snacks. There’s stabilisers and yells of ‘Dad! Race me. Race me!’ screamed from tiny lungs as he jogs along side two small, bright bikes.
Sundays used to be his, but if he’s honest, he prefers them belonging to his family.
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hey fellas and folks i have been meaning to write something up about this but haven't known where to start or where i'll end up. but i DO feel like it deserves addressing.
(having my joker moment joker moment)
i really love this niche. i found a home in it during a very difficult time in my life, and have found many friends and lasting irl connections from the writings shared and conversations had. this place is so incredibly, INCREDIBLY dear to me. despite going through many horrors (tm) while in this community, i continue to stay because there is a lot about it that i love.
however, in the last... i don't know, year or so? there has been such an abundance of discourse, gossip and drama both publicly and privately that has exhausted me to no end. these things have always existed, they always will, but in the past year they have felt so draining and despairing that it has made finding the same comfort and joy in this community is hard. a lot of times, impossible!
one of the things that genuinely makes me SO sad is the tags. i made most of my lasting friendships in this niche but seeing a writing in the tags that i enjoyed and dming the author and shouting together. i have found so many great writers in the tags, and i still crawl around them today looking for fic!! HOWEVER. i find it difficult, not just because of the abundance of vague smut-related comphet posts with a slew of character names underneath from unrelated fandoms (to each there own but it isn't a posting style i enjoy!) but moreso because of the INSANE number of posts by antis that get thrown into the tags. main tags, character tags, x reader tags. it is so deeply disheartening to be looking for fic to enjoy and get jump scared by a posts saying horrible things about those who enjoy dark content. respectfully if you're above the age of eighteen and looking for writing on tumblr dot gov, i HIIIIGHLYY recommend using your literacy to first read ANY article or study summary about human psychology and sexuality and why fantasy does not equal what someone actual desires! signed a sex-repulsed ace spec mf who writes and enjoys smut. hate to use myself as example, but i hate even more to see folks in the tags be puritanical and pro-censorship under the guise of progressive ideology.
i want to say that there are parties within this niche that are CONSISTENTLY at the center of drama and conflict. no matter what fandom, no matter the url changes and lurking, they are there and its the same mfs. this is a complete vague, as i'm sure the parties in involved in the targeted harassment and ensuing drama do not know who i am, nor know that i know. but i DO <3, and so do plenty of other writers in our niche who have politely blocked and left you alone. do us all a fucking favor and do the same, instead of instigating harassment and being hateful cunts.
in this vein, in my closer circle, i know that these events (especially in the last six months) have caused folks to become conspiratorial and assume bad faith. i understand this is a protective measure because folks have gone through the wringer. however it makes me so sad to see what is often folks who likely do not know any context or horrors of the community, be painted so poorly in casual conversations when most of the time, communication is made to create a connection, not to start a fight.
i find myself reflecting on WHY i have come to not feel comfortable in this community. why i don't enjoy writing the same way, why i don't feel the same security i once felt, why i get so damn nervous to post a silly thought or thirst on main, and i find myself coming back to these experiences and the subsequent fear that follows. perhaps i am a weak-hearted coward, but i find it hard to find joy when i feel surrounded by constant negativity and genuine cruelty. it is hard to want to share any of myself when i am so deeply aware that whether it is strangers or people i have become close to, what i enjoy and what i choose to express and share can be so easily twisted into something it is not.
i know it would be easier if i had a thicker skin, or felt secure enough that this didn't bother me, but part of the core problem is that this community has made me insecure. it's a loop. it is one that makes me genuinely sad, as this place once felt so much like home. i know it still can be, but it certainly won't be sitting here, starting at blank documents and text posts wondering to myself 'why can't i just put words on paper' while i have the cortisol levels of a prey animal.
i'm not sure if other folks have felt similarly, or find themselves in the same point. however if you do, or you find yourself resonating, here's to feeling seen 🥂
- papa salami (lore) 🌙
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