#but i was smart and somewhat emotionally intellegent | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dietbeverage · 6 months

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Sometimes I remember a conversation I had with my mom around the time they were learning about my younger sisters adhd and she said "a lot of people with adhd need to do something to occupy themselves to help their brains think. A lot of them doodle or bounce their leg or do something like that in class and it helps them focus." And I remember thinking yeah I do both of those things but I'm built different lmao I just do those for fun and not bc of adhd. Girl...

#my posts #adhd #the mental gymnastics i would constantly go through in my head to like other my sister and reassure myself that i was normal #is completely mind boggling to me #i even remember saying to my sister once in a really mean conversation #that she was just like me in whatever quality and she just had to get over herself and deal with things and not be such a baby about things #like i was so close to getting it #but i didnt have the knowledge to understand that i was just way better at masking than she was #and even my parents didnt #i had a lot of problems as a kid around being different and not fitting in but i could never really wrap my head around it #my mom also said once that kids with adhd mature a few years behind their peers #and i thought 'yeah not me haha im totally normal'#narrator: she wasnt #idk in a lot of ways my self esteem was really fucked with throughout my adolescence bc i knew i wasnt normal #but i was smart and somewhat emotionally intellegent #so my social ineptitude was like this odd thorn in my side that i couldnt understand #dunno just rambling today i guess #sorry allie for treating you like shit

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